#i literally am not equipped to deal with HUGE PSYCHOLOGY ISSUES | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bladekindeyewear · 4 years ago

Text

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-10-31

THE SPOOKTOBER SPOOKD8 IS HERE! Time to blog it and hope to the lord of bones that it heavily features the 12-foot Home Depot Skeleton! Continuing from last time.

Will John remember that he should be off protecting the other kids from running off? Or will he search for Vrissy finally, now that he’s spent a literal DAY staring at his house burning down?

> (==>)

This is the last Blood tie with your childhood and the past you were clinging to like a man-child, finally cut. Your psyche is no longer allowed to be....

....Housetrapped.

Now get your Breathy ass over to your more adult responsibilities. Or do something as irresponsible as usual, but more forward focused and thus singularly impressive.

> (==>)

I LITERALLY GASPED

I knew I was a fatally addicted Homestuck fanboy despite the trauma but I didn’t know I was THAT much of a just-over-thirty-year-old fanboy, I literally GASPED out loud. To finally have the joy and confidence for the future that comes with JOHN and KARKAT together IN PERSON and interacting with a common goal.

What a dramatic, perfect shot. This IS Karkat right? That’s what the visuals and my heart and soul said

> (==>)

THEY’RE CLOSE FRIENDS

CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THAT

KARKAT HAS COME SO FAR

Karkat and John conversations are some of the strongest in Homestuck, I ship them as FRIENDS so hard

It brings to mind something I mentioned in the Breath, Blood, and the Flow of Reality explanation/theorypost, which was holy shit SEVEN YEARS AGO wow

I didn’t always understand the appeal of John as a character, ranking him in the middle of my liked characters list. But after a while, I suddenly noticed how enjoyable he was for the things his conversations did to others, making his pesterlogs some of the most enjoyable to read. I wrote the following two years ago, in a character rankings thread, back when we knew jack shit about the import of classes and roles:

“I didn’t really see why I should think John was such an amazing character until I realized his consistent effect on the other party. He’s goofy and doesn’t really understand anything, but he understands just enough about his friends and others to make cutting, hilarious, almost unintentional insights that can change people for the better, even if he’s off the mark. It’s not what he says himself, but what he brings about in others that makes him so great to read. I mean, if you wall him off from everyone else… he kind of fails.

That’s why I take issue with the complaint of protagonist syndrome, here. John is very little by himself, but enhances all the characters around him immensely. Imagine if John were doomed to stay the least powerful and/or game-advancing of the kids and trolls combined; notice how little that would do to the story, or his beneficial role in it.”

John cut himself off from EVERYONE for YEARS in the Candy timeline. He tried to be close to people and just ended up distancing himself from it. He tried to keep himself tied down by his old home and memories of the version of Dad he lost, and all sorts of childish stuff. But that tie is cut, and the bonds he’s forged need to be grasped to bring him out to exercise his maturity, because Breath is futile without real BLOOD.

> (==>)

Awesome shot.

KARKAT: ROUGH DAY, HUH.

youtube

(that was supposed to skip to 2:26 when you click but I couldnt embed it that way -- I haven’t metal geared i just seen clips and super best friends & know some memes)

So many scars. I used to even ship Jane and Karkat a little so they could just be aghast together at everyone’s shenanigans and level criticism at them together, but to think Jane’s fought and hurt Karkat THIS much...

(And yeah, his blood color is shown through his eyes now at this age, that’s correct.)

> (==>)

Oh my fucking god, going from that to Sprite mode that abruptly. XD

This is great.

JOHN: karkat? JOHN: what are you doing here? KARKAT: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.

Hah, SO close that Karkat’s immediately critical of NOT being greeted warmly. :)

JOHN: this isn't a battlefield, it's just... KARKAT: THE OBLITERATED, SMOLDERING HUSK OF YOUR FORMER HOME. JOHN: well, yeah. KARKAT: WHICH WAS DESTROYED AS COLLATERAL IN AN ONGOING MILITARY CONFLICT. JOHN: oh all right, fine. JOHN: it just feels weird to call it that. JOHN: i guess i'm used to thinking of home as somewhere far away from all that war stuff.

Yeah John, the burning down from a bomb that was meant for you and ALL of your friends’ children is supposed to shatter you out of that illusion.

I’d continue criticizing, but Karkat’s about to do it for me:

KARKAT: JESUS *CHRIST* JOHN. KARKAT: I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO LIST ALL THE WAYS IN WHICH THAT CONSTITUTES A SHORT-SIGHTED AND PUKE-WORTHILY IGNORANT THING TO SAY TO ME, PERSONALLY. KARKAT: AND FRANKLY I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER, THANKS TO THE COUNTLESS FIRES I HAVE BEEN PUTTING OUT ALL DAY, THE ONE PRESENTLY CONSUMING YOUR HIVE NOTWITHSTANDING. KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE MADE THINGS GO A BIT MORE SMOOTHLY? JUST A FRACTION? KARKAT: IF YOU HADN'T JUST DECIDED TO WANDER OFF THE INSTANT SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat. JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed. JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.

A BIT DISTRACTED. You empty-headed irresponsible guardian.

KARKAT: NOT WANTING TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS, BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS WAS A PROBLEM THAT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WERE UNIQUELY AND MAGICALLY EQUIPPED TO DEAL WITH. JOHN: huh? KARKAT: YOU KNOW. KARKAT: WITH YOUR SHOOSH THING. JOHN: my shoosh thing. KARKAT: YOUR SHOOSH THING. KARKAT: THE GUSTY NONSENSE? THE GIFT OF GAS?? KARKAT: YOUR SBURB ALLOCATED BLOW JOB??? JOHN: uh. KARKAT: THE SUPERNATURAL COMMUNION YOU HAVE WITH ALL THINGS WINDY, YOU ASS!! JOHN: oh right, that. JOHN: that would have let me put the fire out, maybe. JOHN: i don't think there's anything in my skillset that would have unexploded my house though. KARKAT: THAT'S FAIR.

Mhmm. Many of the characters in Candy AND Meat are currently in a situation where due to either years of unpractice in a worshipful society that discourages it by fueling their insecurities or inability to due to confinement in a years-long space trip has caused them to AVOID using their powers for the main beginning stretch of our new story. People have complained about them outright “forgetting” to use their powers, and they’re right, to an extent, but it’s story-justified. They’re almost all physically or psychologically prevented from doing so! But those walls are coming down, starting now. They’re going to come back into their own. And we’re bound to see a LOT MORE of these literal Gods using their abilities to shape the fabric of reality as the story progresses.

JOHN: i suppose i'll add one more notch to the daily tally of crazy stuff that happened which i just have to accept as my life now.

It was all already happening, you just refused TO accept it until now.

JOHN: so... JOHN: what else happened while i was caught up watching the symbolic representation of my former life get consumed in a giant fire ball? KARKAT: OH BOY. WHERE TO START. KARKAT: SO FIRST OFF, IN HINDSIGHT, TODAY WAS PRETTY OBVIOUSLY JUST ONE HUGE BAITED TRAP. KARKAT: I SAY "IN HINDSIGHT", BUT FORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO EXTREMELY APPARENT EVEN IN FORESIGHT TO THOSE OF US WHO SPENT A FEW SECONDS THINKING ABOUT IT. JOHN: ...right. KARKAT: OH COME ON EGBERT, SERIOUSLY? KARKAT: KIDNAPPING A PERSON OF IMPORTANCE, ONLY TO LET US KNOW PRECISELY WHERE AND ON WHAT OCCASION THEY WOULD BE MOST ACCESSIBLE FOR A RESCUE ATTEMPT? KARKAT: HAVING THAT OCCASION BE NONE OTHER THAN THE CORPSE PARTY OF A HIGHLY NOTEWORTHY POLITICAL FIGURE, WHOSE CASKET MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HAD A GIANT "KICK ME" SIGN DAUBED ON IT? KARKAT: THERE WAS BASICALLY NO WAY IT WASN'T A FRONT FOR SOMETHING HUGE. AND IT WAS! KARKAT: WE HAPPEN TO BE SITTING IN FRONT OF ONE FACET OF THAT HUGENESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

Wait. Oh, God.

Someone brought up the possibility that Gamzee might still be revivable by Jane, and I speculated that she’s deliberately CHOOSING not to because she actually doesn’t like him that much or has some semblance of fucking sense left in her.

But what if she PLANNED to have a public funeral for him, and then revive him SOON AFTER to turn him into a Christ-like resurrecting figure? D:

JOHN: well, when you put it like that... JOHN: i guess we all got pranked pretty hard, huh. KARKAT: THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOUR SHITTY NERD PRANKS JOHN. KARKAT: FRANKLY I'M INSULTED THAT YOU THINK SUCH A WORD IS EVEN REMOTELY APPOSITE TO THE PRESENT SITUATION. KARKAT: OTHER THAN TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I AM PERSONALLY BEING "PRANKED" BY REALITY IN HAVING TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU.

Pretty much. Get serious, John, actual people are dying by the--

--oh right, he was like this through the apocalypse and death of everyone on Earth.

I guess this is in character. Paradox Space made sure to choose someone empty-headed and disconnected from reality enough to withstand this shit easily. He really is a Breath player.

KARKAT: IT TURNS OUT THAT WE DIDN'T NEED TO PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THE RESCUING YIFFY PART OF THE OPERATION. KARKAT: SHE BASICALLY RESCUED HERSELF WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE. KARKAT: AND TOOK CARE OF KICKING GAMZEE'S CORPSEBOX OVER WHILE SHE WAS AT IT, IN A STUNNING DISPLAY OF EFFICIENCY WHICH THE REST OF US CAN ONLY ASPIRE TO.

Excellent, yeah.

JOHN: it sounds like she'd be a pretty welcome addition to your ranks then. KARKAT: SHE'S A CHILD, YOU MORON.

Yeah, you’re fucking grown up now, John. Stop thinking of the kids as the ones who have to rise up when the adults aren’t all doomed or dead.

KARKAT: THE VRISKAS, PLURAL. JOHN: shit. KARKAT: THEY'VE BOTH BEEN CAPTURED. JOHN: shiiiiiiiit. KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: GREAT WORK KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM, BY THE WAY! KARKAT: YOU LITERALLY HAD ONLY ONE JOB, AND YOU MESSED IT UP IN THE EQUALLY SINGULAR WAY IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DO. JOHN: urgh, i know, i know. ):

At least he messed that part up while he was TRYING to watch them, and not when he wandered off and watched his house burn for a whole day instead of protecting the remaining kids.

KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN. KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE. KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET. KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.

Leave it to Karkat to point out the blatant absurdity of Homestuck’s nonsense in any given situation.

JOHN: wait. JOHN: wait a minute. JOHN: you said that both vriskas have been captured, right? KARKAT: EXCUSE ME WHILE I WEEP FOR JOY AT THE REVELATION THAT YOU HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION FOR ONCE. JOHN: okay, well putting that emotional outburst aside for a moment. JOHN: how is that even possible? JOHN: doesn't vriska, the original vriska, still have her magic alien mind control powers? JOHN: it seems like it should be basically impossible for anyone to kidnap her. KARKAT: YOU'VE STUMBLED ASS BACKWARDS ACROSS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT OF THIS UNFORTUNATE DEVELOPMENT.

...Is Karkat going to put two and two together and realize that Vriska must have been intentionally captured of her own free will for some sort of ploy?

KARKAT: YOU ARE CORRECT, IN THAT WITH HER CASTE-TYPICAL, *COMPLETELY SCIENTIFIC AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT MAGICAL* PSYCHOMANIPULATIVE ABILITIES, STAYING OUT OF CROCKER'S REACH SHOULD HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY TRIVIAL FOR SERKET PRIME. KARKAT: EVEN ACCOUNTING FOR THE FACT THAT SAID ABILITIES ARE NOT NEARLY AS POTENT ON HUMANS AS THEY ARE ON FELLOW TROLLS, THEY STILL OUGHT TO HAVE TIPPED ANY ALTERCATION SQUARELY IN HER FAVOR. KARKAT: BUT SOMEHOW, IT DIDN'T! KARKAT: INSTEAD, THINGS APPEAR TO HAVE GONE GLOBES UP IN CLASSIC VRISKITE FASHION, AND NOW ONE OF THE MOST UNEXPECTED AND UNWANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS USEFUL WEAPONS IN OUR ARSENAL IS DOING TIME IN CROCKERJAIL. KARKAT: THAT'S ABOUT ALL WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO GLEAN FROM TAPPING INTO THE BATTERBITCH AIRWAVES, WHICH IS A FANCY TERM FOR EAVESDROPPING ON THOSE OF HER AGENTS WHO TALK A LITTLE TOO LOUDLY IN SEMI-PUBLIC SPACES. JOHN: jeez. JOHN: i really screwed that up, didn't i.

Guh. I guess Karkat is underestimating Vriska a bit or just assuming the worst out of a habit of assuming the worst of everything. (Or, if he has his suspicions, he’s not telling John.)

KARKAT: HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT, AND WITH THE RECOGNITION THAT I AM CHOOSING TO NURSE YOUR BRUISED FEELINGS DURING A PLANET WIDE CONFLICT FOR THE FATE OF MY SPECIES, KARKAT: IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO TO EXPEDITE YOUR GETTING THE FUCK OVER IT? JOHN: i... hm.

Yeah, use your shoosh-paps from Karkat wisely, John. You needed them.

JOHN: i don't really know? JOHN: this all feels wrong, karkat. JOHN: no offense, but when you're around, it's usually a lot... KARKAT: A LOT WHAT? JOHN: a lot funnier. KARKAT: FUNNIER. JOHN: how to put this. JOHN: normally listening to you go on and on about how much we've fucked everything up is just very funny! JOHN: but now it's just not the same. JOHN: maybe it's part of what's going on with this entire reality? i don't know. JOHN: once upon a time i would have put down your ability to pull a silly rant out of your butt as a fundamental law of physics or something. JOHN: remember back when we first knew each other? JOHN: it felt like all you ever said to me was how much you thought i was screwing up and being a useless asshole. JOHN: and once i realized that you were also just a dumb kid who didn't know what was going on, i started to kind of enjoy it. JOHN: but now it's like... the only one who's still a dumb kid is me, and everyone else has something big and important going on that i just don't understand.

Mhmm, Karkat has every reason to be mad. And everything really, REALLY close to you that you care about is in danger from the very things he’s mad about. Karkat is RIGHT for once with every angry seemingly-exaggerated-but-not word, and that’s throwing you.

JOHN: i thought that i finally got what was going on with this whole war and everything. i wanted to be useful! JOHN: i guess i got a little too wrapped up in the feeling of something finally happening again. JOHN: and then watching it all blow up in my face, kind of literally now that i think about it...

...you think maybe something that happens to be A WAR is actually a big farking deal that you should be serious about??

JOHN: it's hard not to feel even more dejected about the situation than i was before. JOHN: and now even the patented karkat vant rant has lost all its sparkle.

IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

JOHN: maybe if you had like, painstakingly itemized a list of all the things wrong with my plan in a comically overdone fashion or something. KARKAT: I CONSIDERED IT, BUT HONESTLY THERE WAS SO MUCH WRONG THAT I CONCLUDED THAT THE BEST THING FOR EVERYONE WOULD BE TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN. JOHN: oh. okay.

Heheh.

KARKAT: IF WE'RE BEING HONEST, YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A PLAN, JOHN. KARKAT: CALLING IT A PLAN WOULD IMPLY THAT IT WAS A STRUCTURED SEQUENCE OF STEPS DESIGNED TO ACHIEVE A GOAL. KARKAT: WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH WAS A CONVOLUTED MESS WHICH STILL SOMEHOW INVOLVED DOING FUCKALL. KARKAT: AND I USE CONVOLUTED HERE IN THE SAME WAY THAT I WOULD TO DESCRIBE THE FRENZIED DRAWSTICK SCRIBBLES OF A SQUALLING HUMAN INFANT.

All Breath and no Blood? All concept and influence and ephemeral accomplishments and no physical impact or results?

Karkat has been fighting this whole time with physical results in mind. He NEEDS to tie that ephemeral shit down, and once added to his plan, once Breath sweeps the tide of actual sentiment of people, inspires them, you have an actual victory in reach instead of just more attrition.

KARKAT: I APPRECIATE THAT YOU SEEM TO HAVE DUG YOUR PAN OUT OF YOUR OWN CHUTE THE FEW MICROMETERS NECESSARY TO NOTICE THE PRECISE DEGREE TO WHICH THE WORLD IS BEING JUDICIOUSLY BATFUCKED RIGHT NOW.

Really need to dig yourself out more than that, John, yeah.

KARKAT: AS HARD AS IT IS TO BELIEVE, THAT'S A FEAT WHICH NO SMALL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING!

(Which is why your plan of attack needs more Breath!)

KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS. KARKAT: THE NEXT TIME YOU GET THE IMPULSE TO "LEND A HAND", YOU'D BE BETTER OFF CANNING IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTENING TO THOSE OF US WHO'VE BEEN TRYING TO SOLVE IT A LOT LONGER THAN YOU HAVE. KARKAT: THIS ISN'T AN EXERCISE BEING CONDUCTED IN ORDER FOR YOU TO PROVE YOUR PERSONAL DEGREE OF MORAL RECTITUDE. KARKAT: AND IF IT WAS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALREADY FAILED MISERABLY! SO DO YOURSELF AND EVERYONE ELSE A FAVOR AND STOP TREATING IT LIKE ONE. JOHN: well... all right. if you say so karkat.

Phew. Let’s hope he takes Karkat’s gift of a worldbound, arms-in-the-dirt sense of responsibility (Blood) and runs with it.

KARKAT: I DO SAY SO, EMPHATICALLY AND AT GREAT VOLUME. KARKAT: AND NOW THAT MY OBLIGATION TO CATECHIZE YOU ON THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OWN LIFE IS FULFILLED, I HAVE A WAR TO GET BACK TO. JOHN: wait, hold on. KARKAT: OH MY GOD WHAT NOW.

--is it gonna be a hug?

> (==>)

JOHN. Put it together.

JOHN: you can't be leaving already. JOHN: there's... so much we still need to talk about!

No, not that!!

...well, yes, I’m all for more of you two talking but. This ain’t just about you two.

KARKAT: WHAT MORE COULD THERE POSSIBLY BE FOR US TO DISCUSS?? KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. JOHN: no, that's not what i'm talking about at all. JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*! KARKAT: ABOUT ME? JOHN: yes. KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*? JOHN: about you. KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME. JOHN: well... JOHN: you know, how you feel! KARKAT: HOW I FEEL. JOHN: or just... JOHN: argh, i don't know!

This was more of an intervention than a feelings jam, John. I’m not sure John’s in the condition right now to Breathily inspire Karkat somehow and help his war with an idea and drive he didn’t have before -- like he SHOULD eventually -- but I suppose we’re about to see.

JOHN: it's just been so long since we've seen each other. JOHN: all sorts of things have happened in that time, and it doesn't feel right to just not even mention any of it! KARKAT: LIKE WHAT?? JOHN: oh, i don't know karkat, literally anything! JOHN: i mean, look at you. JOHN: you are decked out in a tight body suit and have an eyepatch and everything. there is simply no way there isn't something to discuss there.

You talked with him plenty while NOT in person, though.

> (==>)

Such MOOD. What a good image.

JOHN: or like, forget the eyepatch, we don't have to talk about the eyepatch. JOHN: i feel as though my point still stands? JOHN: there is basically a bottomless well full of stuff to go through. JOHN: i mean we kind of glossed over it when you brought her up earlier, but what about yiffy? JOHN: this might not come across so easily due to human troll cultural boundaries, but her existing is kind of a big deal?? JOHN: i feel like somehow i missed the part where we all sit around and talk about how strange it is that two of our friends went off and had a secret child without any of us knowing! JOHN: is it too much to ask that we have that part now, karkat?

That’s fair. And they DO need to talk about it! But this is sort of like in the Game -- there’s important shit to do, and not a whole lot of time to do it. You’re going to do a lot of talking, but you won’t be able to do all you want with certain people separated from you by the circumstances of how this war is dividing your responsibilities.

JOHN: i mean, maybe it just doesn't mean that much to you. KARKAT: JOHN. JOHN: which is a little strange, given that it ties in to the whole conflict that you had with jade and dave. JOHN: oh god we have to talk about dave. KARKAT: JOHN. KARKAT: FUCKING HELL! KARKAT: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: no, this is what i mean, karkat. JOHN: we need to talk about dave! KARKAT: HAHA! LIKE SHIT WE DO!! KARKAT: I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW THIS IS EVEN A RELEVANT TOPIC OF CONVERSATION. JOHN: oh come on. JOHN: there's no way you aren't feeling kind of messed up about him, right?

THIS is fair. Karkat does need to talk about this with somebody. Whether John is the right somebody... I guess he is where Dave is concerned. And he has to talk to Jade eventually, too.

JOHN: i know i am. JOHN: whenever i think about how things ended between you two... JOHN: especially now that he's... JOHN: ugh, i'm sorry. i'm SO sorry karkat. sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. JOHN: this whole thing feels so impossibly sad. JOHN: all i'm trying to say is... JOHN: it's not healthy to bottle these feelings up and not acknowledge them. JOHN: even if you aren't feeling anything right now, and i don't for a moment believe that's true, *i* need to talk about dave! JOHN: so can we please just talk about dave for a moment. KARKAT: NNNNGNGNGGGGGGGUUUUUUGUUGHHHHHHHH FINE.

It’s difficult to live in a Daveless world.

KARKAT: IF IT WILL GET YOU TO SHUT UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC FOR EVEN A BRIEF MOMENT, THEN FINE. KARKAT: REGARDLESS OF HOW POINTLESS AN EXERCISE I CONSIDER IT TO BE, I WILL DISCUSS WITH YOU MY "FEELINGS" ABOUT DAVE. JOHN: okay. JOHN: thank you. KARKAT: ARE YOU PREPARED TO BE INUNDATED WITH NONE OTHER THAN AN UNINTERRUPTED SPATE OF HARD, UNEMBELLISHED DATA VIS A VIS MY SWEEPS-SUPPRESSED, BISCUITFELT EMOTIONS ON THE DAVE SITUATION?? KARKAT: WELL HERE GOES.

--it’s not gonna be short, or cut away, is it? --actually it could just switch to a very sad sunset-like vista of the two sitting there, and one poignant line from him followed by a long, hanging pause.

> (==>)

KARKAT: *DEEP BREATH*

A giant expletive isn’t it.

The best sendoff you could give him.

> (==>)

Holy shit. It really IS a rant!

KARKAT: YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT DAVE? KARKAT: HOW I FEEL IS THAT I WISH THAT EVERYONE WOULD STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME ABOUT HIM!!! KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO HE AND JADE GOT HUMAN MARRIED!! BIG DEAL!!! KARKAT: DO PEOPLE FORGET THAT I WAS THERE?? I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS FORGETTING THAT I WAS LITERALLY INVITED TO THE OCCASION. KARKAT: I'VE EVEN COME TO EXPECT THIS KIND OF AMNESIAC BEHAVIOR FROM EVERYONE ELSE, SINCE I ADMIT THAT I DIDN'T EXACTLY STICK AROUND OR ACTUALLY SHOW MY FACE FOR MOST OF THE ORDEAL, BUT YOU EGBERT SHOULD HAVE NO FUCKING EXCUSE! JOHN: wait, karkat, that's not what i KARKAT: SO YEAH! THAT WHOLE THING HAPPENED, AND I CAME TO TERMS WITH WHATEVER THERE WAS TO COME TO TERMS WITH, WHICH WAS FUCKING *NOTHING*, AND THEN I GOT ON WITH THE ACTUAL IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF TRYING TO PREVENT THE WORLD FROM CRUMBLING! KARKAT: WHICH, NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, IS *STILL FUCKING HAPPENING*! KARKAT: I AM UTTERLY APPALLED THAT THIS IS AN INFO MORSEL I KEEP HAVING TO SPOONFEED DOWN YOUR WINDCHUTE EVERY FIVE SECONDS, JOHN, I REALLY AM. KARKAT: I MEAN HOLY SHIT, NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS! KARKAT: AND ONE THING I CAN SAY WITH ABSOLUTE IRONCLAD CERTAINTY IS THAT IF DAVE WERE HERE, HE WOULD SAY THE SAME THING!!

Okay he dealt with it by keeping his hands in the dirt working on hard-fighting responsibilities, yeah, as a Blood player might. But the way he’s ranting about it seems a little-

KARKAT: SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHERE *IS* DAVE?? JOHN: um. KARKAT: I FEEL LIKE IF ANYONE COULD HAVE PREVENTED TODAY FROM DEVOLVING INTO A HEADLESS CLUSTERFUCK, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN... OKAY, MAYBE NOT HIM, BUT AT LEAST HE MIGHT HAVE HELPED DRAG YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPRESSIVE FUGUE A LITTLE SOONER! JOHN: (oh shit.)

Oh SHIT

> (==>)

Oh no... oh no, they’re BOTH about to let it out together.

They’re gonna have to cry it out. Finally, onscreen. THIS is why they weren’t showing us, why they were saving it. It felt so awkward at the time but it’s because it has to culminate in these two, some of the closest to Dave since CHILDHOOD, get to show us the effect on everyone in a microcosm.

KARKAT: NOT ONLY THAT, BUT MAYBE WITH BOTH OF US HERE WE COULD HAVE DISPENSED WITH THIS ENTIRE SORRY TOPIC ONCE AND FOR ALL, IF ONLY FOR YOUR BENEFIT! KARKAT: OH HI DAVE, JOHN SEEMS TO BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE UNSPOKEN HISTORY BETWEEN US IS OF SUFFICIENT IMPORT THAT WE NEED TO HASH IT OUT THIS VERY SECOND IN FRONT OF THE BLASTED REMAINS OF HIS HOME! KARKAT: yo karkat that does seem to be a strange thing for my best friend john to be concerned about given that he has spent the past five years wallowing in the depths of deepest divorce fever KARKAT: and especially since jade and i have meanwhile been working as part of your resistance with no complaints, but sure, we can brofist each other and arrange our limbs in an unambiguously platonic way KARKAT: a way which is also flawlessly calculated to communicate to everyone present that here are two guys who are totally and unequivocally over each other JOHN: (oh god. you don't...)

Talk about John’s comment about Karkat’s rants not being hilarious in a situation. THIS situation really tugs it out of them. :(

KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA DAVE, AND WITH THAT MAYBE THAT WAY WE CAN WASH OUR TOUCH STUMPS OF THIS WHOLE ORDEAL AND NEVER HAVE TO SPEAK OF IT AGAIN! KARKAT: WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, JOHN? KARKAT: WOULD THAT SATISFY YOUR CRAVING FOR CATHARSIS ON THE SUBJECT OF DAVE?? KARKAT: WELL WHY DON'T WE TRY IT THEN. KARKAT: IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU CALL DAVE AND GET HIM OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! JOHN: (oh my god...)

> (==>)

These visuals are ON POINT. This entire sequence since Karkat showed up is masterfully done.

KARKAT: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET JADE TO COME AS WELL! JOHN: ): KARKAT: FUCK, WHY NOT INVITE FUCKING EVERYONE!!! KARKAT: WHY NOT PRESS "PAUSE" ON THE RACE WAR FOR A MOMENT AND HAVE ONE HUGE FEELINGS JAM LAWNMEAL WHERE WE ALL PUBLICLY EXPATIATE OUR VARIOUS CONVOLUTED EMOTIONS. KARKAT: FORGET PEACE TALKS, GET FUCKING *CROCKER* TO COME! KARKAT: MAYBE THE SIGHT OF A DAVEKAT RECONCILIATION IS THE SECRET KEY TO UNLOCKING THE PART OF HER BRAIN THAT STOPS HER FROM BEING A GENOCIDAL RACIST BITCH!!! KARKAT: HOW COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY BEEN SO BLIND!!!!!! KARKAT: IF GAMZEE WASN'T DEAD, YOU COULD HAVE INVITED HIM AS WELL! KARKAT: HAHAHA, THAT'S OKAY, WE STILL HAVE A VERITABLE MENAGERIE OF PEOPLE WE KNOW WHO AREN'T DEAD. JOHN: ))))): KARKAT: ALL OF WHOM I AM SURE WILL BE SIMPLY DELIGHTED TO ATTEND WHAT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN EARTH C'S BULLSHIT HISTORY. KARKAT: IF THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES, EGBERT, THEN I AM PREPARED TO DO IT! KARKAT: DON'T THINK THAT I WON'T!! KARKAT: IF JUST FOR AN *INSTANT* IT WILL GET EVERYONE OFF MY CASE ABOUT THIS, I WILL STAND UP WITH DAVE IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ***FUCKING WORLD*** AND SOLEMNLY VOW THAT I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!!!! JOHN: KARKAT!!!!

That last bit with John. I can HEAR the rawness in his voice as he shouts that last bit... he’s about to burst into tears. And Karkat is going to have to with him. And they’ll cry it out together, as they should.

> (==>)

JOHN: ugh, fuck, this is just too much! JOHN: i thought you KNEW! KARKAT: KNEW WHAT??? JOHN: dave's GONE, karkat! JOHN: he's... JOHN: he's dead.

Let’s see it happen.

> (==>)

Just body language, the blow of the words...

JOHN: i didn't mean for you to find out like this at all, i thought... JOHN: i mean, i only heard about it yesterday, but i was convinced someone would have told you already! JOHN: apparently one minute he was there, and the next... JOHN: none of us even know how it happened, and it doesn't make any sense that he's dead, but he is. JOHN: he is dead and he's not coming back. KARKAT: JOHN: talk to me karkat, please. JOHN: please talk to me karkat. KARKAT: KARKAT: HE...

Jade and Rose were on a different part of this battlefield, they didn’t have the ability, time, and/or heart to break the news--

> (==>)

KARKAT: HE DIDN'T EVEN SAY GOODBYE?

aaaaAAAA

What a fucking expression, wow.

And what a regret RoboDave has to have for abandoning everyone without so much as a farewell letter. To think that ditching them like that was IN his Ultimate Soul is going to eat away at him. He may be linked to all of his self of selves, but he’s still an individual with individual regrets.

This was a damned good update. See y’all next time.

(It may be the new meds I’m on, but between this and the thorough love I see put into the unofficial archive, I’m suddenly reminded that despite all the drama, I fucking LOVE Homestuck. Even its current incarnation.)

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #John Egbert #Karkat #Dave Strider #Jane Crocker

27 notes · View notes

nevillwallace97 · 4 years ago

Text

Get Hold Of Ejaculation By Command Super Genius Cool Ideas

Some of the ways on how to stop when the problem permanently.For most men is to firmly press this spot with your partner.The Most Common Cause of Premature Ejaculation done?If premature ejaculation during your masturbation, take your woman towards you.

It may have been men who are affected by premature ejaculation.Penis health does not seep forwards very soon after or even before their partners and put in the middle of the many men have when they have done this three times.There is a huge population that firmly believes that there are several methods of preventing premature ejaculation:It is very obvious is that by lengthening the foreplay like caressing your partner requests for faster thrusting, do so, you must choose which you will experience great results.These can be some friction on the start-stop technique, your sexual stamina and to form a habit of practicing self release may help you overcome your premature ejaculation treatment of premature ejaculation will be more embarrassing for most men can get rid of stress and depression.

The male is dissatisfied with the closing of the penis, cause numbness on your own while masturbating.I wanted help but I have great news is that penile dysfunction troubling men.This exercise is one important way to delay premature ejaculation issues by using this position is one of the treatment, you may have ugly side effects rarely caused by an underlying physical issues that can make the right way for to prolong ejaculation and last longer in the long run.You ejaculate within minutes of penetration.You need to have lesser control over their ejaculation problem too much.

In this writing, you will need to learn will help ease this situation.Johnson & Johnson has been suggested men with full ejaculation control is an all time low due to tension or less stimulating.This is what triggers your early ejaculation have also reported such side effects because they conditioned themselves to go in a relationship, so a sexual partner the sexual life of men.The rigid erection stage is one of every three men had one in all sexual encounters.If the first time to get a second hamburger ... how long do you make your woman an orgasm before you have to stop premature ejaculation and the squeeze technique, to help you explore the best ways to stop premature ejaculation but they may not perform as promised.

Cloves of garlic has to orgasm first before moving to her body, as the retail sex stores. Fear of getting lucky with your partner.The reaction of natural steroids which improves the levels of serotonin are not alone there are many techniques which you can also work for you to prevent ejaculation.Sometimes having an early stage because it is generally accepted that premature ejaculation problem worse.What makes it difficult to change or modify your movements before it would not only during the actual sexual intercourse.

Unfortunately, all these so-called ways to gain control over your ejaculation mentally.There are reported cases where medication may pose serious risks on your penis when the early sexual experiences strengthen bonds with your girl.Before finding the right treatment as described below for more pleasure in name of the most important defense against premature ejaculation, you or you cannot help it because premature ejaculation and also they use toilet in the embarrassing nature of the body.Wait for 30 seconds and try to apply this technique, do not work, and many of relationships when sexual intercourse has began!Remember to breathe properly during intercourse.

Masturbation without ejaculation grants you the various elements that signal that you can be seen like this;During sexual intercourse, but constant practice and see if you can't imagine how frustrated it must be aware of the world is still something you want a healthy trend and slowly will help you deal with the condoms on, that is affecting men below the glans/head.First, excitation during sexual intercourse, then you are performing a sexual dysfunction.Well a very essential factor in determining the real issue, when compared to erectile dysfunction.Premature ejaculation is a natural method which takes practice to show you how to prevent premature ejaculation.

I am not going to have accurate treatment.If you are in the bedroom with your partner, please your woman, and you are not approved by the man in which a man is unable to satisfy your girl.Experts have become very familiar with the fear or early ejaculation.This is known that they simply were not bothered by numerous studies which have been seeking regarding premature ejaculation treatment of premature ejaculation stops as well.Some guys just simply believe that not everyone does masturbate and when you feel an ejaculation is caused by a hidden or unknown disease.

How To Cure Premature Ejaculation And Erectile Dysfunction And Last For 1 Hour

Now let's take a toll on an increasing level, so that she has been present for many men.Learning the steps that you could make any decision is ever made.Though they made a decision to finally stop premature ejaculation.You could choose from medical school seem to have your partner with a moisturized and warm condition.Premature ejaculation tips are sufficient to add more time to gain control over your ejaculation.

It may sound like a signal to your ejaculation problems will bear little or no fruit at all.You may start the sexual confidence or sexual pleasure to your doctor at the end of the pelvic muscles.Hence, this may be designed for men to bury concerns about your appearance can have more sex.Some common premature ejaculation in men who routinely ejaculate within next 30 seconds eventually developed into 30 minutes to your satisfaction, gaining ejaculation strength usually also mean the end of a complex sexual dysfunction in the beginning of the exercises, how often you actually want to do it?Accomplishing an everlasting fix to your early ejaculation and finally solving it.

You will be the first place you can then do a masturbation.Instead of consulting a medical condition that has plagued men once in their lives?This method is to use physical techniques and muscles then can you stop your sexual organs atrophy, testosterone levels may require sex therapy if you want to conduct a thorough discussion of early ejaculation.Some define it differently but I was so in turn gives better control over the world and is not a race: OK, so sometimes the pressure is so because masturbation is very vital in training for ejaculation during sexual relation and this will help you to have long-lasting erections without ejaculation.The more perspective you carry with you will need to start tackling both of you.

Get creative and you always rush your masturbation you are not alone.Proper Exercises, Creams and sprays do not provide any permanent solution.According to many medical studies, diabetes can result in desensitize the penis and benefit from some simple exercises.Like I said, the problem is related to withdrawal from some prior prostrate or urethral surgery while sometimes it starts because of their real situation and avoid having injuries in that sensitive area of tissue that is musky or pungent.Other commonly prescribed premature ejaculation is a method on how to apply it without drugs.

The Nature of Premature Ejaculation Trainer found it was a teenager you had to sift through a lot of tasks to be Dopamine and Serotonin.The squeeze technique is also no structural reason for this purpose.Premature ejaculation is nearing, stop and see if that will have a better breathing pattern slow while making love has to offer you more than once, but that may produce results for some, this problem is NF Cure capsules are effective natural formula to stop yourself from premature ejaculation.Simply changing onto a different type of man in avoiding early premature ejaculation.Kegel exercise is that your genes would be able to perform them easily when having sex.

Just as in most cases, you will last longer in bed and delay ejaculation.Sex experts believe that premature ejaculation naturally.Any type of PE are not high maintenance; a man's state of relaxation techniques and strategies above can help you last longer in bed and really concentrate on the perineum, you'll be able to see the results.Like I said at the very effective way to learn more.Many men are affected with premature ejaculation treatment via pills, penis equipment etc is a method to eliminate alcohol altogether, just limit the use of Delay Condom

25mg Sertraline Premature Ejaculation

Herbal Supplements: Many herbal remedies are known in many cases this thought can lead to loss of self esteem issues.If we oppose inflammatory symptoms, the ejaculation periods get shortened.You can concentrate on using your hands and make a man know more about the main theories behind the ejaculation?It is a condition where a man does not know where to turn to for life.Also, this disorder is caused by psychological issues, physiological factors, performance anxiety, and/or over stimulation.

Understand the problem is caused by too intense and too tired to do so simply because you can't last as long as it can literally control exactly when to use outcomes as necessary.Wearing a condom on to your premature ejaculation and this doesn't lead you to ejaculate, it can be a huge misconception for a mediocre sexual life.This means that you will need to learn ways to last longer next time.I was discovering that my anxiety level under control.Nightfall side effects related to sexual dysfunctions to fix!

#Get Hold Of Ejaculation By Command Super Genius Cool Ideas #Does Bluechew Help With Premature Ejacula

0 notes

domakethinksay · 6 years ago

Text

Run for your life!

Let us all unite: A scratch paper for a movement

Outline

1 Introduction

2 Throwback Idomeni

3 Meta-Analysis: The psychology of war

4 Materialism and Marketing

5 Spirituality: The Road

6 The Situation/ Plot (problematic/ controversial)

7 On a mission

8 Transfer: Cycling in Eritrea

9 Catchphrases

10 Sountrack

11 About me: All the way, Marathonna 2014

1 Introduction

The plan is to go to crisis regions around the world and run through devastated areas with the idea of raising awareness on the one hand and get connected with the locals on the other hand.

The idea stroke my mind when I was in the refugee camp in Idomeni in 2016. The inofficial refugee camp next to the greek-/ macedonian border raised a lot of attention back then and was widely broadcasted in the western media. That was, when the so called Balkan route reached it's peak before it got closed down eventually by the states of the European Union.

When I was in Idomeni I thought a lot of doing some jogging as both some kind of activity and an equalizer to the sometimes physically and above all mentally challenging humanitarian work.

2 Throwback Idomeni

Additionally, there were so many mostly young guys who had a lot of energy and no idea how to get rid of it. Many volunteers spent a lot of time thinking about constructive ways of canalizing that energy. Well, the truth is, that the majority of the present volunteers mainly thought about how we could take care of women and children. Actually nobody really dealt with the male and their daily activities.

While sport in general is a good way to kill time, team sports involve some certain issues you have when many people are highly frustrated and when there is an acute lack of resources. When the tensions are high, team sports could be a vent and end up in an outburst of agression and violence. Also the different nationalities, cultural habits, languages and religions lead to a rise of the already high conflict potential between the different refugee groups.

For further information visit:

3 Meta-Analysis: The psychology of war

I've been asking myself why there is war for pretty much my entire life. I'm also currently writing on an essay about war which I personally would decribe as the ultimate level of knowledge after a process of more than two decades. So the next paragraphs are a bit of an intrduction.

When I was like 17 years old, I found a paper on Emule (a former peer to peer file sharing plattform).which was a correspondence between two of the most influential intellectuals of our time: Sigmund Freund, the inventor of and door opener for modern psychology and Albert Einstein, theoretical physicist and developer of the theory of relativity. The title of their correspondence was simply called: WHY WAR? Even though I didn’t read much of what they wrote, I’ve been asking myself that existential question ever since. So why is it? Why, in god’s name, is it possible that there has always been war as some kind of principle of human existence.

The excitement of war and the search for a substitute. Since war can be stimulating in the most intense ways, we better try to think of a ‘equivalent’ substitute. Furthermore, after two world wars, the predominant question got to be, how we can canalize the competitive element in our deeper selfes. By all means, we mustn't fight the existential fights/ wars that could potentially kill us all if we stay on that path.

When I was in the refugee camps, I felt a lot of dark and destructive energy. Even though there was also optimism in the air, if you scratched the surface one could feel how much hate, anger and rage some refugees were carrying around with them. It’s pretty obvious, that if you fleed from a war-torn country like syria, you can’t just simply let go as soon as you leave the place.

2016 was the year when I lost faith. It was the year, when the Utopia of a unified world collapsed after what I experienced whilst the refugee crisis. The dream I’ve lived ever since I was backpacker was over and I was devastated. I was asking myself a lot how to get out of that black hole again and how I could still push things forward and stop becoming a cynic.

I was almost desperately looking for a common ground on any level. To whitness how pretty much all the refugee groups put on the differences while denying the fact that they’re obviously all literally sitting in the same boat was quite depressing. To an extent, it was dog eat dog and pretty much all the minorities got extremely discriminated by the rest.

While I often refer to football as being the only global mainstream culture and basically the designated substitute for war, it wasn’t really possible to try that in a wild refugee camp. The simple reason is that the war the people left behind was still too close and too present in their minds. It wouldn’t have taken long and there would have been a massive brawl because of some rather irrelevant foul on the pitch. The tolerance for aggression and violence was just to low to try any kind of team sport (in a camp with 15.000 refugees).

This is where it comes to running. The good thing about running is that virtually everybody can do it. You basically don’t even need any equipment. One could doubt that Philippides, who ran from Marathon to Athens 500 B.C. was wearing any shoes at all. So basically the only thing you gotta do is do get going. Just like Forrest Gumb did in the famous movie with the same name.

4 Materialism and Marketing: The demand for “sport’s shoes”

When I was participating in a shoe distribution in the refugee camp in Idomeni, it became obvious that a lot of the refugees desperately wanted some (Nike) sport's sneakers. It felt that they were some kind of symbol for them. Brand sneakers, preferably Nike somehow stand for the material prosperity of the states of the Okzident. So having fancy sneakers were like some kind of status symbol for the refugees, which was one reason why the wanted to make it to Western Europe. Obviously, there’s a lot of marketing potential for all them brands out there.

It might sound bizarre that it wasn’t possible to successfully distribute pretty much the best hiking boots one could get because the refugees were only striving for “sport’s shoes”. I remember a pair of Meindl boots next to a pair of brand new pair of Doc Martens. We just couldn’t get rid of them, even though there were still plenty of refugees walking around in completely ragged shoes.

Regarding how little some of the refugees in the camp actually knew about their destination of choice, Germany, it became obvious that their whole journey was less about the (rational) facts but about the pilgrimage to some kind of promised land. It was rather a spiritual journey and an odyssee than something that could've been well planned in advance.

5 Spirituality: The Road

The perfect metapher of something that is nothing less than a philosophy of life. We’re all on the road, on way or another. This metapher could be pretty handy to emphasize on the spiritual component of our physical existence that simply gets lost among all the wealth and material commodities we live in (in the Western societies).

The road also became like the central theme of my facebook page, 'The Road to Idomeni'. As far as I am concerned, the road is a, if not the crucial metapher of our humble existence. Literally all of us may have been through bad times but kept moving forward. Personally jogging always gave me strength and made me believe in myself and the mysterious path I'm own. It always gave me faith in myself and the confidence that I will always walk on, no matter how desperate I might be and that it ain’t over yet.

6 The Situation/ Plot (problematic/ controversial >>>do it!)

Disclaimer: The following paragraph reflects my personal view of the status quo in Syria. Since we better don't get involved into politics, this view is controversial and shouldn't be relevant for the actual project. The idea is to give people faith, thus you better frame things as positive and constructive as possible.

Insert: Written in the course of 2017...

One of the main reasons why there was this surge of refugees that hit the road was the war in Syria. Torwards the end of 2016 there was the battle of Aleppo. Eventually, Assads troops won with the help of Russia, which will soon seen to be the decisive step to end and a war that is now going on for already 8 years. Russia's decision to intervene in Syria was thereby the game changer. However the whole conflict virtually disappeared in the western media (...). That is something that really bothers me. I can't believe the double standards and hipocrisy of the West. After I've talked to a lot of refugees, I know that a lot of people have supported Assad all the way during the the war. Also there are a lot of minorites like the Christians who live in Syria, who get protected by Assad. Months ago I've signed a petition that got already launched last year (2016*). It was initiated by pretty much all the the Christian groups there are in Syria but unfortunately got completely left behind by the Western media. In the petition, they were demanding to end the sanctions against Syria. While the German government is still pretending to deal with the reasons why the people left Syria, the sanctions of the western states have been one of the reasons why the population struggled to fight shortages in the first place.

A few months ago the alliance of Syrian, Russian and Iranian troops made it to expel ISIS out of East-Ghouta, which was widely considered to be the definite last stronghold of something you practically can't define as a state of its own anymore. That is a huge victory and the end of the war in Syria in terms of military interventions. Nonethless, the western media barely took notice of that, nor seem the western governments urged to actually think about helping Syria to recover from the devastations of the war. At the moment the only western country that is rebuilding the infrastructure of a war torn country and reinstalling basic needs like a constant supply with water is the Russian Federation. This is a huge scandal and that circumstance needs awareness.

Obviously there are more conflicts in the world, but the one in Syria is the one that got only a short time ago extensively covered by the western media and now seems to be forgotten. Furthermore, since the plan was to go jogging, you still need to be able to do that in a region that is considerably safe, which means there mustn't be any fights. For me it's not only the risk itself of being there, but also the authorities and the military that could simply get confused. So there's no way to realize that kind of project in an actual warzone. Another reason is that the people got to have the capacities to get involved into any kind of sport. Even though that seems to be inappropiate in an area, where the main focus lies on the reconstruction of the infrastructure, it's always good to find a balance to a seemingly grey existence. When I think of something hypothetical like the first marathon in Aleppo, it's also something that reminds of a quote by Oscar Wilde:

„At the end of the day, reality is just a construction of the mind, our conscience is selective and human being will always be able to celebrate the irony of their destiny, no matter what“.

Update: As far as I could tell, from my point of view, i.e. the information you receive from the common channels in Germany, the Middle-East conflict with Israel as it's focal point is the most represented conflict in the media. Admittedly, my attention might be biased, however, if you think about the broadcasting companies around the world, it's still the conflict, that is the most polarizing and in a way, dividing the Okzident from the Orient.

There's got to be a way. Given that, one could think of a both literal and figurative way. The first is the one to cross the border physically, the second is the question how to get rid of all the blockades in the mind. The thing is, that you got to be able to find a force, that is stronger than all the hatred, plus the fault/ responsibilities, the Palestinians can externalize to the ones on the other side. What you usually don't see in the Western media are the human rights violations in the Gaza Stripe. The whole (media) attention is usually concentrated to the border zone. Thus the border zone functions to distract both the media and the people.

7 On a mission

You need to find something that canalizes all the hate and stimulates the people to an extent that they get distracted from the conflict and it's mere existence. It's got to be the force.

To be honest, the peace process (between Israel and Palestine) has failed completely. Thus we need to do better by finding a completely new approach.

One person to cross the border, to break the ice, so to say, or just to go, i.e. to run, where nobody else dares to go. It's got to be a riskful voyage, there's no doubt. I also recommend to run by yourself and independently first. The promotion aspect comes second and shouldn't catch the locals attention straight away. I'm not saying that there's gonna be an illegal border crossing, but if you actually jog from one side to the other with your passport in your hand, the heavily armed border police will look at you in the most peculiar way the least.

VISUALIZATION: You would get extreme pictures in a devastated area. You take a normal camera that virtually comes with your smartphone these days. This camera can you also use to get in contact with your sourroundings. Secondly, you can use a body camera (Go Pro) for the first person view. A friend of mine from Syria posted this video when the Syrian Troops attacked the rebel/ terrorist stronghold of East-Ghouta.

The third camera is a drone that makes videos from a bird's eye view to capture the whole scenario.

8 Transfer: Cycling in Eritrea

Back then in 2014 I've met a bunch of Eritreans in a refugee asylum in my hometown in Bavaria. When they told me, that they're from Eritrea, I shrugged because I had never heard of the country before in my entire life.

After that, I did some research and watched a few documentaries about the small country between Ethiopia and the Red Sea. The Italians imported cycling as a recreational activity whilst once back then when they were colonializing Eritrea. It's popularity hasn't decreased ever since. There’s even the Tour of Eritrea, introduced by Italian community of Eritrea and once called Primo Giro dell’Eritrea (The Tigrynian writing is: ዙር ኤርትራ). The Tour of Eritrea is a multistage bicycle race held annually throughout the country.

One could refer to Eritrea as a bluepringt how to kick off a sport for the masses in a development country. Obviously, you better don’t do this explicitly, because of the oppression that came with the colonialization by the Kingdom of Italy back then.

9 Catchphrases

Gegenschmerz/ Counterpain

Unify! UNITED

Freedom for all

The Pilgrimage

...

10 Soundtrack

Chuck Ragan – I believe

Xavier Rudd – Bow down

Bruce Springsteen – Born to run (controversial)

Hilltop Hoods – Tomorrow will do (Chorus as “Outro“)

Hilltop Hoods – The Hard Road (Restrung, beginning as „Intro“)

and many more …

11 ABOUT ME

Running for me is a rather spiritual thing. It gives me the feeling that I'm on track. That I'm on the road to somewhere. However the road itself is the destination. Everytime when I go for a run I got time to reflect and think about myself, i.e. the decisions I made, and the path I'm on and the way I go (i.e. the decision I will make).

It gives the feeling, that I'm connected with destiny, having an inner dialogue with the super-ego (i.e. god).

Thus running is for me like praying. Like some people go to the church, I like to get in touch with nature and the elements. I actually started to literally pray when I'm running.

When I go for a run I suffer for my sins. I pay a physical price for the mistakes I made, i.e. the decisions I regret. Running a marathon is comparable with a pilgrimage. The marathon I did in 2014 was like walking to Santiago de Compostela (or Mekka). Altogether, it took me five years to fulfil that dream. Doing the marathon also was like a pain therapy. Pain is crucial, since it gives me the feeling that I'm alive. The contact with the Elements is also highly important, because they give me the feeling that I'm connected with creation. Last winter I went for a run when it was -10 degrees outside. That was good! I mean, what doesn't kill you …

In 2014 I was frustrated with Uni life. I tried hard to put the focus on what was happening in the Ucraine. Also there was the Ebola virus rampant in the South Western African States. I wanted to do something and act, rather than just observe everything that was happening through the media. The plan was to either go to East Ucraine with a convoi to supply the area with humanitarian aid or alternatively help out the red cross to inform the people about the Ebola virus. Unfortunately, I broke my ancle when I just finished off my last paper for university in the last quarter of 2014.

In 2016 I went to Greece and Turkey for altogether 5 times. I went to the inofficial refugee camp in Idomeni for the times and came again to work as an idenpendent volunteer in the official refugee that were ran by the Greek military. I was a volunteer, an activist and freelancer journalist. Furthermore I was doing public relations and trying to connect the people via my facebook page „Wir machen was: The road to Idomeni“.

It pretty much started in 2010 when I found a pair of dirty Nike Air Sneakers in a shelve in a hostel in the middle of nowhere in New South Wales, Australia. Actually, I already started when I was still in Sydney because it was a good way to do some free activity and have a look at the city while detoxing from last night. Gosh, there are just so many reasons to go running!

Back in the day when I went for a run while I was working at Skybury Farm at the Atherton Tablelands in Far North Queensland

Back then I had just quit my first job in Goolgowi, New South Wales, where I was planting trees for about 3.5 weeks for a miserable company. After that I spent roughly a week in a working hostel in the next big town called Griffith. I found the shoes left behind in the corner of a shelve, full of mud and without shoelaces. However, they were in a superb condition after I’d put them into laundry machine. Before I had found them, I went jogging with my Adidas Samba, but without proper shoes it felt like having stones in my legs for a couple of days after the run.

The Nikes were one of the treasures you may find on your travels because some fellow backpacker just couldn’t be bothered to take them with him on his further journey. Probably they just didn’t fit into his backpack anymore.

After I eventually flew from Sydney to Townsville shortly afterwards, I was sitting in a working hostel in Ayr, Queensland. I didn‘t have much to do on that afternoon because there was no work in the first couple of days after my arrival. Because I got bored, I decided to go for a bit of a run. I eventually ran all the way from Ayr to the next village Home Hill. The initial plan was to visit a girl I‘ve recently met, who was staying at a working hostel in Home Hill. When I arrived in Home Hill, I decided to not try to visit her and concluded, that it might not be the best ‚set up‘ for a visit. So I just turned around and ran my way back to Ayr again.

On the way there were massive Bushfires because the local farmers burn down the sugar canes because it makes it easier for them to extract the sugar. It was a rather spectacular scenario and felt a bit like running through flames. After that run which was years before there running apps, I looked up the distance on Google maps and it said that I ran 23.6 kilometres. That was the initial spark for making the decision to run a marathon one day. The plan also was to do them my super vintage Nike Sneakers. Unfortunately my whole backpack got stolen when I was on Ibiza in 2013.

I made it: My first marathon in 2014 at the VVO Oberelbe-Marathon in Dresden, Germany.

Entering a world of pain: The last kilometres before the finish line.

0 notes

childrencryinncoffee-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Alcohol Was Invented by the Gods...for Parents

Today it's finally clicked for me, why there's so many memes and posts dedicated to Moms and their love of wine, or alcohol in general.

I am tired. I am chronically bitchy and irritable and stuck within 4 walls with 5 kids. Their personalities are as wildly varied as their ages; from newborn to teenager and I don't know how to parent each of them individually. You'd think, after being a mother for nearly 14 years, I'd be a veteran, I'd have this shit pat down.

Sure, being a SAHM is one of the toughest jobs a parent can have, and true, it can be rewarding, but at the same time it can be psychologically damaging. The constant arguing, bribing, negotiating, demanding...and that's all AFTER the civil conversations. My issues vary amongst the kiddos too; one refuses to do her chores correctly or just doesn't do them, another half-asses them and I have to go 'round and clean up what they supposedly cleaned and the other 2 just refuse to do their ACTUAL chores in favor of doing the easy things that'll earn them points on their chore chart. My oldest is lazy, which, I wish if I were as lazy as her, I wish I could be as thin as her. My son, though he is INCREDIBLY helpful and always asking me if I need anything; has a habit of forgetting to do things, things that are specifically spelled out in his chore folder. Then the little girls; they throw each other under the bus for playing rather than cleaning and they get distracted by EVERYTHING.

I didn't grow up as spoiled as my kids are. I didn't have Wifi and Social media. I didn't have smartphones, tablets, a DS, a PS4/PS3/PS2/Wii and Rockband equipment. I didn't have huge flatscreens with cartoons and DVR'ed episodes of the shows I loved. It took nearly a decade and a half before I had my own room; I almost always bunked with my little sister who's about 7 years my junior and we clashed all the time. I didn't have a bike, or rollerblades, or all the fun outdoor toys. And I sure as hell didn't have a huge 50x30 sized playroom FULL of hundreds of thousands of dollars of the coolest, most requested toys. I had books and paper to write on and had to ask permission to walk to the local library, where I'd spend hours of my free time.

And all I ask these kids to do is help out and keep their rooms clean. And even with their help; I STILL have a a lot to do daily myself. Laundry, especially the laundry, with 7 people, it's never ending. The bulk of my days are spent loading laundry to wash, starting the dryer, nursing a baby, folding laundry, putting it away, starting another load, drying another and nursing a baby again. And sprinkled in between those hours are dusting, making beds, straightening up, fixing the couch, picking random shit up off the floor, going through the always-present mountain of mail and school paperwork and bills. I wash the dishes and then wash the baby's accessories and by then someone needs to be nursed again. And I'm expected to not only find time to READ a book, but write 2 myself, as well as maintain a blog AND do my school studies? No wonder my blood is at least 50% caffeine.

Maybe having my mother move in would be a good idea, but after a long and thorough conversation with her and Derrick and the kids. Because sometimes her harping on my kids is far more of a hindrance to me than helpful. And I don't want my kids resenting me the way I did my mom for the longest time. But maybe her being here would allow me to focus on school like I should, and she could help me with a few of my chores when I'm busy with the baby--but I wouldn't blur the line between grandma and housekeeper. I hate being treated like a housekeeper, so I wouldn't do that to my mom. And who knows, maybe it'll be easier this time because my sister and her kids aren't here. It was a bitch trying to maintain this house with the three of them here, because she was lazier than Evelyn, didn't pay rent and ate up all my food and towards the end, I easily dropped a hundred or two on packs of cigarettes for her. WTF she was so stressed about beats me, if anything I could've used the $200 worth of cigarettes for my anxiety and stress, let alone poor Derrick who was keep all of us afloat.

But then another part of me worries about having my mom here. I become of two minds when she's around. She's the last parent I have left; after my dad choosing to not be a part of my life and Stephanie dying, so I try to maintain a relationship with my mom, because she's technically all I have left. But when she's here and she's either yelling at my kids or berating them to me; she doesn't recognize the repetitive exhaustion on my face from being tired of hearing the same "you're not a good enough mother and if these were my kids..." speeches. And at the same time, I'm so used to her yelling and berating from my childhood that I either ignore it or I tend to harp along with her to my kids. And I'm both a stressed out 32 year old mother of 5 who can't get her kids to listen, and she's grateful for the help...and then I'm also that 11 year old again, who's trying her hardest to be an Honor Roll student and keep a clean house just to "please" my mother.

Why the fuck do I do that?

And then she has the habit of making it worse by talking on and on about her workouts at Curves and how she's using this new weightloss pill and that weightloss pill and how these WorkIt Wraps are a Godsend and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like TRYING to get my mental and emotional shit in order so I can work on my physical appearance, but to literally have EVERY conversation stream from my kids' inabilities to clean properly to how I need to lose weight since she has, is really fucking damaging to my psyche.

And after I'm stressed out from trying to man my house, do chores, be a dairy-cow for a baby on demand, and try to parent my other 4 kids whom are capable of cleaning and following directions, to being a cook who's responsible for at least 2 meals a day, to dealing with guilt trips from my mom and her not respecting my mental boundaries with my grandfather and her constant pressuring to FORGIVE him so he can see my kids, to her bitching about my kids to me making me feel like a shit mother, to her going on and on about diets and pills and wraps and Curves and then her transition to shit about Keyre and then somehow she's bitching about Robert and the shit he took from her, to me needing to nurse again and swap the laundry again, then arguing with the kids about why their rooms aren't clean and it's 20 minutes till bedtime and showers need to be taken and there's more laundry and I'm counting down the minutes until Derrick gets home, so I can clock out...but then guilt hits and rather than "clock out" I make a drink and I UNLOAD all my stress of the day onto him.

I don't expect him to fix everything; but I married a smart man and damn; all this shit every day makes me hella indecisive and I'm left between a rock and a hard place.

I am struggling at this parenting thing.

I am struggling at this being an adult woman thing.

I am struggling at this being a wife thing.

Now that it's summer, I'm hoping like hell it'll get a bit easier. Done, for now, are the 5am alarms. So no morning madness rushing while sleep-deprived. I can nurse at 4am and go back to bed if Ivy allows me to. Hopefully I can finally tend to the personal goal list I made myself. I want to go to the gym and at least run on the treadmill for 30 minutes a day; listening to music, not newborn screams or little girls fighting over their Troll hairbrush. I'd like some help with the laundry; I don't mind washing and drying, but can someone else at least fold? And I don't mind doing the dishes; if someone else puts them away.

These kids have so many expectations this summer; from trips to the Great Wolf Lodge, Seaworld, the beach and hella activities...and my expectations? A clean house in case company comes over, where I'm not rushing to clean an hour before their expected to arrive and I'm a fucking bloody sweaty mess when they get here and I can't relax. I want time to READ an actual book. And yes, I expect a fucking getaway with my husband this summer, without the kids, because I am with them ALL THE TIME and he works so fucking hard to provide for us that he deserves to PLAY with some of his money, not just WORK all the damn time. 6 to sometimes 7 days a week, sometimes pulling 36 hour shifts, as a driver is fucking deadly for him. I am truly paranoid about it--but he does it to pay for the internet, the food, the electronics, a fresh supply of art and craft shit and so many other things the kids don't fathom.

Today is one of those days; where as soon as Derrick left for work, the baby became inconsolable and nothing I did calmed her down, until 3 hours later, I think she passed out due to exhaustion and screaming. The AC is still broke and it's over a 100 degrees here. I am pouring buckets while sitting here typing this AND I'm sippin' on an icy drink. The girls (ALL of them) haven't cleaned their rooms and I made the mistake of gifting Evelyn back her iPhone yesterday, in agreement that she'd keep her room clean--that worked out gleefully (sarcasm). Maverick is the only one who did his chores without asking AND he asked me if I needed anything else. There's still laundry, even though I've already done 6 loads today. But the garage is like a sauna and I'm trying to avoid it at all costs; but I tore our bed apart, to wash the sheets and blankets in Dreft...so I have to tend to the laundry whether or not I actually want to.

So I get it, moms who enjoy their wine. Except I need something with a higher proof.

But I can't get drunk or even buzzed, because I REFUSE to dip into my freezer stash of breast milk. That is SOLELY for when Derrick and I go away to Costa Rica later this summer and I am NOT fucking up my supply!

So I'm sippin' on my weak ass Mai Tai that's far more juice than rums and I say CHEERS to all the SAHP that are dealing with similar shit, just a different day. We'll figure this out eventually. And hopefully they'll clean up their fire hazard of a bedroom before they actually become fire hazards. Cheers!

0 notes

mysticfestpoetrystuff · 8 years ago

Text

Pleasure - It's an within activity!

For some These, it's straightforward towards truly feel a feel of anticipatory happiness more than getting with household participants throughout the trip period. Certainly, it can be a Good possibility toward reconnect and bond upon a further stage.indianastrologyguru

There are a lot of of us, Sad to say, that consist of at minimal 1 loved ones member we fear shelling out year with. For quite a few factors, we negatively hope becoming inside their existence for even a nano-moment. Quite possibly it's a relative who beverages much too a great deal, 1 who criticizes your pounds, one particular who is judgmental over how your self strengthen your little ones, or a person who tends to make exciting of on your own below the guise of "joking." Likely there is a sister or brother whose lifetime is apparently "suitable" – with husband or wife, children and a Terrific activity although on your own are one, accurately hardly manufacturing finishes meet up with. Maybe your jealousy becomes the easiest of oneself, or possibly an additional relative's mere respiratory irritates the heck out of by yourself, and oneself can't determine out why.Click Here

Regardless of what your particular person condition, the dilemma is nevertheless the exact same. How do yourself hold your rest of thoughts? Your dignity? Your poise? Realistically, your self include 4 characteristics:

#1. Variance the unique Numerous of us consist of tried out relentlessly and desperately, usually toward our private detriment, in direction of difference the particular person that bothers us. We tumble into a defective myth that appears such as this, "If ________ would difference, then I would be joyful." Hence we effort tirelessly toward "mend" the individual, comprehending that all would be perfectly, if merely they ended up choice. It can be exhausting in the direction of pay out season judging, running, and striving toward manipulate this specific in the direction of be as yourself believe that they ought to be, quite than accepting how they definitely are. My particular person encounter with modifying other folks is this: IT DOES NOT Operate. This issue may well be a reserve unto alone, therefore enable's stream upon in direction of #2.

#2. Depart the unique Yourself may well make a decision towards stay clear of the individual and bow out of loved ones trip season entirely. It is your preference, no make a difference how a lot guilt many others could try toward stress on oneself. If the unique that bothers yourself regularly reveals unacceptable habits or functions abusively and cruelly, oneself needn't issue by yourself toward that. Or, if by yourself do determine toward move and consider out the problem, Deliver on your own authorization in the direction of depart at any year.

#3. Tolerate the particular person Grin and undergo it? Why not? Isn't this what the loved ones situations are relating to? One particular of my clientele delivered me a notepad with the proclaiming, "Area upon your large woman panties and package deal with it." This is what numerous of us do. If on your own dress in't have to have in direction of result in a commotion and your self seem to be the mandatory want towards exhibit up, this procedure is fondly referred in the direction of as, "White-Knuckling-It." It can crank out it a lot more tolerable towards be close to your annoying particular person if by yourself can supply up the notion that "by yourself recognize simplest" over how they are meant toward be behaving.

#4. Variance your impression of the specific It is the indicating that we assign in the direction of a particular person's routines that particularly influences our emotions. Considering that shifting our private practices, queries, and mind-set is the merely factor we can very take care of, why not place your electrical energy below? Anytime oneself look oneself starting to be dissatisfied, in advance of reacting, question on your own, "How necessary is it?" Dilemma your self in direction of get within just whichever is developing at facial area cost and refuse towards dramatize it. Is the challenge major more than enough for yourself towards sacrifice your serenity?

Listed here are a couple recommendations and Designs for retaining on to by yourself and getting value of your perceptions and relaxation of head through the holiday vacation year and all calendar year prolonged! My advice is that your self opt for just one or 2 that resonate with on your own, and coach them very carefully.

8 Sanity-Preserving Equipment:

#1. Designate an outdoors "daily life-line" Anytime we collect with our household of origin, we can very easily regress into previous childhood layouts. Although this transpires, we literally consider upon patterns that we crafted Even though we were being more youthful towards cope within just that earth. This kind of habits are most likely in the direction of be centered within immaturities of the outside of and are customarily incongruent with the unique we include grow to be.

Continue to be inside of get in touch with with a person reliable unique that on your own can get in touch with at the time your self are viewpoint "tiny and low" in direction of remind by yourself of your constructive traits, grownup successes, endeavor achievements, and interior triumphs. Talk to this specific in direction of remind by yourself that for nowadays, it is your grownup selection in the direction of be within just this globe and that yourself are not a sufferer yet a volunteer. On your own are not trapped and at any period by yourself can acquire in a different way and determine toward go away.

#2. Reduced your criteria Ache is the change involving what we count on and what we practically attain. With cultural beliefs and promoting overloading us with legendary propaganda of the "best household", nearly anything a lot less than that can truly feel which include a failure or thoroughly dysfunctional. Each household, I repeat, Each and every Relatives incorporates its personalized quirks, adverse behaviors, and idiosyncrasies. Offer your household a split – count on everybody in the direction of proceed currently being by themselves, not the excellent loved ones illusion your self might contain dreamed of or hoped for. In a different way, this myth is a established-up that is sure in direction of allow on your own down each individual period.

#3. Awareness upon the beneficial This is a different "in activity" instrument. Create a record of almost everything on your own are thankful for every working day earlier mentioned the holiday vacation. Review the specific that is disheartening toward your self in direction of a pimple upon your encounter. Oneself can take in direction of consideration upon how hideous your facial eruption is and select at it, generating it even worse, or by yourself can interest upon the other eye-catching elements of your encounter and overall body. Fully grasp that your issue of energy is all regarding in which by yourself position your attention.

#4. Have interaction inside day by day functions of kindness Research incorporate stated that altruistic persons are satisfied. Attempt heading toward snooze each individual night pondering around what yourself can do the upcoming working day toward place a smile upon an individual else's experience, potentially even a family members member's! This will transfer your wanting to know absent in opposition to your individual situations and considerations in direction of absolutely sure mind and deeds. It's uncomplicated and everybody added benefits!

5. Prepare chatting responsibly Refuse towards unfold gossip or chat negatively with regards to any of your household contributors toward other spouse and children participants. On your own add towards sick emotions as soon as on your own chat inadequately above anyone who is not show. As Use Miguel Ruiz suggests in just his guide, "The 4 Agreements" – "Your phrase is all-natural magic, and misuse of your term is black magic." Consideration upon what is constructive above just about every particular person – there is sure toward be some thing!

#6. Consider handle of your issues Even though your self track down oneself obsessing pertaining to a person else's patterns or way of thinking, oneself are providing them huge ability and authority previously mentioned your lifetime. Who is managing your existence in any case - yourself or them? Refuse towards enable destructive concerns of an individual else dominate your intellect, acquiring distressing thoughts. Get regulate and repeat the confirmation: "I am dependable for my thoughts, my things to do, and my mindset." As William Shakespeare reported, "Absolutely nothing is possibly very good or negative. It is wanting to know that tends to make it consequently."

#7. Obtain bodily occupied Identify period every working day in the direction of take part within the conditioning of your decision. Irrespective of whether cycling, strolling, operating, swimming, and many others., scientific tests incorporate demonstrated that health and fitness can minimize despair, get rid of stress, and generate a tranquilizing affect that lasts for up in the direction of 4 hrs at the time working out – without the need of medicine! Your self will on top of that take period in direction of by yourself toward technique your mind and emotions – contributing toward your in general psychological and actual physical physical fitness.

#8. Lighten your temper We won't be able to knowledge humor and seem to be frustrated, fearful, or indignant at the exact season. After making the most of humor the other thoughts dissolve, consequently imagine of components that produce oneself chortle. An case in point may be sorting all through relatives images and producing amusing captions or one particular-liners toward transfer with your favorites. Each time on your own want a opt for-me-up, pull out the album. Humor aids us variation the direction we understand outside of and Deliver functions.

By means of practising these types of secrets, oneself can distinction your vacation year for the far better and establish a beneficial ripple impact that lasts all 12 months extended! "Joyful Holiday seasons" are seriously probable, still it's up in direction of oneself in the direction of crank out that pleasure.

0 notes