#i liked the vibe with orin slightly better but the like

[grichel]

i was underwhelmed by the canon content of d*rgetash, i thought it would be more based on what i’ve seen on this webbed site

[cromcrux]

BG3 Brainstorming (spoilers)

So, I love Baldur’s Gate. I have spent so much time in that world. Which, because I cannot just mindlessly enjoy things, means I have been thinking about it and things that make the world feel a little flat or forced to me. So in the interest of releasing these thoughts from my mind!

Things I would change about BG3

First off, I would change some of the companion character’s classes, and when those companions join your group. The first character I would change would actually be Wyll. I love Wyll as a character, but his warlock status feels really forced. It feels a little first draft to me. I think Wyll would have made for a fantastic ranger (and I am further justified by the afterparty confirming this).Alternatively. Wyll could have been a Paladin. This would also give you access to a paladin before Act 2 and an alternative to the (before one of the last updates) much more difficult to recruit Minthara. If his oath had been to Baldur’s Gate or, even more spectacularly, Ansur himself, that would have given the quest beneath Baldur’s Gate so much impact. Overall, I really like Wyll and I wish more had been done with him. If we really weren’t going to kick off his story arc until Act 3, I think that’s when he should join up though. He basically has nothing to do in Act 2, not even character growth because he’s a pretty stable guy, he doesn’t really need to mature or overcome any trauma. He just chills. Maybe wait until his action starts to include him. Either that or give him something to do in the Shadowfell (maybe give him information about Ansur or some other nuggets so he’s not just sidelined storywise).

Next up is Halsin. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a cool character. But he should have been a Nature Cleric rather than a druid. He’s got very ministerial vibes. A Nature Cleric of Silvanus could have still been important to the grove (maybe working with the head druid instead of the head himself) and would have made for an excellent healer. We also get both Jaheira and Halsin as recruitable members at the same time and having two druids doesn’t make for good balance when so many of the other classes are under-represented. 

Jaheira, should join you properly in Act 2. When you leave to go investigate Moonrise, she should be recruitable as a companion. Halsin is still doing his thing in camp and in the version, Wyll is waiting for us at Baldur’s Gate (maybe he’s here helping protect the Tieflings, that would also be cool), and having a druid after seeing what they can do in Act 1 would be good. 

Since we have Wyll filling in as our ranger, Minsc would actually make for a pretty good Monk and give us some experience using a Monk before we have Orpheus in our party (if we choose Lae’zel over the Emperor). I do wish it was a little easier to get Minsc slightly earlier in Act 3. Everything feels very rushed after Orin kidnaps one of your party, but I think that was due to Act 3 getting truncated. 

Astarion: I have seen some complaints that his storyline doesn’t feel like it meshes as much with the main storyline, since aside from hailing from Baldur’s Gate, nothing about his personal storyline is directly connected to the Dead Three or what’s going on there, so here’s my fix: Astarion is the Warlock with Mizora as his patroness. I think it would be a much more interesting dynamic. There is dialogue outside the tabernacle where Astarion remarks how no god ever answered his prayers when Cazador had him, so what if a Devil had? He might trade one master for a mistress if he thought the terms were better. He might still strain against leash, but his own manipulative behavior would prevent him from being overtly hostile towards her. Astaron’s Ascension could then be duly colored: Don’t ascend and risk losing his soul to Mizora forever, or ascend and truly be free? (I do think players should have the opportunity for the same sort of deal Wyll makes to free Astarion from his contract. But if you don’t make that deal or don’t get that choice, it makes Astarion’s argument to ascend look slightly more grey than it is).

Finally, I wish Alfira was a recruitable character. She’s the only actual Bard you run into (I will not be counting Volo as a bard, he’s at best a nuisance to his own editors and publishers), and it might be interesting to have a companion leave you in Act 3, once you make it to the Elfsong, she stops being a companion and instead helps with keeping your reputation or communicating information between you and the various factions you’ve gotten on your side. She could stay in your camp but no longer be playable.

Next would be a change I think would actually be pretty easy to implement: Make the choice to side with the Emperor after learning his true identity an actual choice. If the players choose to side with the Githyanki, allow the Honor Guard to take up protecting the party (with successful dialogue choices and checks), and continue the game mostly as normal. This would even fit with what the Emperor tells you as the inside of the Prism is suppose to block out the absolute  Have the head of the Honor Guard checking in with players instead of the Emperor, maybe being the same imposing presence as Kith’rak Voss. Have the Honor Guard be the ones to save the party from the Absolute. This would also make Orpheus softening up to you in the final scenes make a little more sense, as you did choose the “right” thing. It’s the biggest part of the story that feels railroaded and it seems like such an easy swap.

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - chapter 14

We all gather outside in the yard, thrilled about the upcoming fireworks we are about to light off, though I imagine no one is quite as excited as Karlach is. The woman could live in Whizbangs. The point of the fireworks? To celebrate our lives, how we made it, and new beginnings for everyone. The sky is flourishing beautifully with an aura of magenta and violet as the sun begins to rest.

Gale finally makes his way outside with Jenevelle in his arms, ready to socialize and get this party started. He smiles at me as he walks in my direction, his brown eyes darkening from the sleeping sun. The sky is getting darker every second, and during those seconds I can sense Karlach about to explode from the intensity of her excitement. Another reason why I’m glad her engine is fully repaired.

“Well, the baby is changed and we’re good to go. Now Karlach, try to light them up a few more feet away. I don’t want to scare Jenevelle when you set them off,” Gale alerts her. She ecstatically dances as she’s about to set off her first firework of the night, followed by a chaotic laugh from her enjoyment of the first spark.

“Ah, don’t worry pal! I’ve got you. However, I will say I believe she’s going to be a lot like aunty Karlach. The human version of course, in case that wasn’t clear.”

“You know what? I wouldn’t hate that, actually. It would make our days rather exciting.” His gaze is toward me, a cheeky smile still glowing on his face. My favorite smile. That very one that made me fall in love with him the first time I saw it. The one he gave me when I was giving birth to Jenevelle. He proceeds to place his lips on my forehead.

“I go back to work tomorrow. Go mingle with our friends while you can and have some fun. I’ll hold the baby and will let you know when she gets hungry.” Words could never express how much I appreciate this wizard; the love of my life through thick and thin. I kiss Jenevelle on the cheek, noticing her admiring the exquisite outdoor scenery. Living in Waterdeep is the blessing I’ve always needed, and while I’m away from where I grew up, the feeling of being loved will always be present to me.

I walk up to Shadowheart, who is drinking a glass of wine while mingling with Astarion and Halsin.

“Hey everyone, how's it going?” I ask, a smile growing on my face as I approach my friends. The vibe of close ones mingling under the evening sky while fireworks are being set off in the distance is pleasing to the soul, and part of me wants to relive this night over again.

“Just catching up! Though, Astarion is just hanging around. I can’t tell if he’s paying attention or just a little too…erm…drunk,” Shadowheart says, observing his face to try and comprehend his facial expressions. “I live with the guy, yet I can’t fully understand him.”

“Uh! Excuse me! I was simply catching up with Halsin.” His voice is slurred just slightly, as if he’d consumed too much boar blood. It’s good to see him happy and more importantly, healthier than he’s ever been since he’s been in recovery from the years of trauma and abuse. He smiles, laughs, and socializes more than he did before while on our adventures. It’s been pleasant to see.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you and Shadowheart are like siblings who need space from one another,” I tease. I also wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve been flirting with each other, but I didn’t want to say that out loud.

As everyone continues to catch up, the sounds in the surrounding area become muffled, as if someone put a large sack over my head. The world begins to spin as my vision becomes slightly blurred. More vertigo. A sinister yet familiar voice begins to play in the back of my head like an old broken record:

The smell of your blood is desired like the carcass of an animal to a starving wolf.

You will be our servant in the Hells, watching the skin fall off the bodies of those you once knew.

Rotting. Stinking. And you will thirst for more.

The voice sounded like Orin, but I know she’s dead. She can’t come back, but why am I hearing her voice over and over again? Why can’t I get rid of it? It’s been months since it happened last, so why is it still stuck with me like a mosquito on human flesh? I blink repeatedly, trying to ignore the haunting voice. Hopefully no one will notice my unusual behavior, if I’m giving off any suspicion that is. I begin to tune back in, the voices and sounds around me are no longer deeply muffled.

“Yep, in fact, my whole living room is covered in duck decor,” Halsin says, and I’m now confused on how that entire conversation started.

“Fascinating,” Astarion responds with the most sincere of interest. No, really. Ducks. I noticed some of the surviving tieflings from Moonrise made their way, including Rolan, but I was so absorbed into the horrific voice that I didn’t realize any additional people had shown up. What the hell is going on with these deep dissociations?

“Hey, you punk ass winners, the barbecue is ready! When the sky finally turns as dark as Zariel’s heart, I’M GOING TO TOWN ON THESE FIREWORKS!” It appears Karlach’s barbarian shout is still intact as it was before, though I’m not surprised in any way. At least she knows how to keep me in a lightened spirit, I’ll give her that.

“In case anyone didn’t know, my wife really likes fireworks. As she should,” Wyll says, smiling and shaking his head as he watches her dance from her excitement.

While I thought the annoying vertigo was gone, I was wrong. It continues to hit me like a freight train, my whole body becoming numb, and not in a good way. Could this be Raphael’s doing somehow?

“Oh Gods,” I mumble, not thinking anyone could hear me. Shadowheart immediately turns to look at me with a concerned expression on her face. Gale somehow manages to hear her from across the yard and heads toward me to stand by my side. I, however, don’t want to feel like a burden, especially since weird instances like this seem to only happen when we’re having fun. I just want everyone to enjoy each other’s company without causing a scene.

“Yes, I’m okay, I promise. Um, just some heartburn,” I lie. Luckily, the vertigo fades away again but the sickening feeling continues to linger in my stomach. Whatever this is, I want it to go away. What’s funny is that none of these symptoms I’m having had anything to do with me being pregnant back when. They were just merely a coincidence.

“You’d tell us if anything was wrong, right?”

“Yes, I promise.” Ouch, it hurts to lie out of my teeth like that. Gale gives me a worried look, and I feel like he knows I’m lying, though he doesn’t say anything. I never lie, so something must have given it away.

“Well, let’s eat and watch some fireworks, shall we?” he asks, a fake-smile on his face but I can tell he’s concerned about me. Damn it, Gale.

“Where’s Jene– oh, Karlach again.”

“Bingo.”

The rest of the evening involved a very blood-drunk Astarion, who had hunted a boar followed by a few glasses of wine, which led to some revealing secrets. Though, who knows how much he has left to confess? He’s been talking for over an hour now.

“Well… Probably my last confession for the evening. A lot of you have probably been wondering ‘Astarion, how is it that you’re able to walk in the sun again?’ Well, let’s just say I remedied that, my darlings.”

“Wait, how?” I ask. “Wouldn’t that involve ascension?”

“Ah, there’s always a loophole, my dear. I ended up selling my soul to the archdevil Mephistopheles. I’m not too worried because I was damned anyway.”

“So, in exchange for you being able to walk in the sun, you sold your soul?”

“Correct! As a vampire, I’m bound to the Hells no matter what, so why not make a deal?” I always wondered if that was true. I remember hearing and reading about legends on how vampires were always damned to Hell, and they were meant to be slaves under the doings of Devils. Astarion pretty much confirmed this was true, and I’m actually happy for him. I wonder how he managed to convince Mephistopheles.

“Well, that certainly answered all our questions. Shit, I was wondering about this for weeks!” Karlach exclaims. “Phew!”

While I am exhausted from the consistent mingling and staying up later than usual, I did enjoy all the company coming to visit to not only see us, but our new little one. Gale and I head back inside with Jenevelle, and I immediately plop on the sofa so I can nurse her and get her ready for bed. As I’m doing so, I begin to slowly doze off; at least until Gale comes to sit next to me. I wake up, my eyes feeling heavy as drowsiness courses through my body, particularly my mind. I look down at Jenevelle, who is completely milk drunk and asleep on my chest. I smile, stroking her little chunky cheeks with my thumb as I watch her sleep. I never want to let her go.

“I go back to teaching tomorrow, but luckily only for four hours a day now. While I’m thrilled to indulge in books and research, along with teaching students all about magic, I can’t help but think about how much I’ll miss you. How I’ll miss Jenevelle. These last few weeks have been incredible,” he says, his voice in a soft whisper. I can’t help but be relieved that his days will be shorter, because I know postpartum depression will hit before too long, and if it does, I’ll need someone to help get me through it.

“At least your days will be shorter and it shouldn’t be too bad. I believe in you. I’m sure your students miss you like crazy and can’t wait to learn from their favorite professor,” I say with a sleepy smile. I lean my head on his shoulder, falling asleep again, my eyes begging to stay shut. He shakes my shoulder gently and kisses the side of my head.

“Come on. Let’s get you to bed, my love.” We walk to our room and Gale takes Jenevelle from me, gets her dressed, and then places her sleepy body in the bassinet next to our bed. She falls asleep almost immediately, ready for a good night’s sleep. Gale admires her, watching her sleep peacefully for a moment, and I can just see in his chocolate eyes how much he loves our daughter. After a couple minutes, he proceeds to get undressed and crawls into bed with me. I’m living on a prayer with my exhaustion right now. The lights are dim and we curl up with each other under the thick comforters.

“I meant to ask you, I could see in your eyes earlier that something was bothering you,” he says. Oh man, I was hoping he wouldn’t bring it up. “I know you said you were fine, but you know I worry.”

“I heard the voice again,” I say, followed with a sigh. “This time it mentioned the Hells, wanting me to be there as some sort of thrall. If not, then…our child. I’d rather it be me.” Gale’s warm flesh is pressed against mine, making me feel a lingering sense of comfort.

“It may be your mind playing tricks or another devil that isn’t Raphael.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if it is him, though. Why would he set me free so easily?” Gale hesitates, just as puzzled as I am on the matter. He may know a little about devils, but not enough to answer my question.

“I’m so sorry. I wish I had the answers to stop all of this and keep you safe.” I place my hands on his face and stare deep into his glossy dark brown eyes. Just for a moment, I take it all in as I look passionately within him. Our souls connect on a whole new level.

“You always keep me safe. You do everything you can to keep us protected. I hope I’m able to do the same in return. I used to be this all-powerful war cleric, and I sure as hell hope I can be that again.” A light smile curves on his face and he closes his eyes, leaning his head onto mine.

“You still are. This time, you’re a mother, and that doesn’t make you weak or any less than before.” His words soothe me, but in a way I haven’t felt before. My eyes slightly tear up as I feel all the deep emotions within me, but in a good way of course. It’s like when a butterfly flies around the Earth for the first time. When the world sees a rainbow after a vicious storm.

“I feel so much better after that. Thank you.”

The following morning, Gale goes back to the Academy to teach, but luckily he has shorter hours than before. Tara keeps me company while he’s away luckily; our baby sleeps a lot. It’s been an adjustment having him go back to Blackstaff, but I’m grateful he’s doing what he’s most passionate about: teaching and providing knowledge to the younger people about the ways of the weave. I am so proud of him. He’s overcome so many obstacles, starting at a young age when it all started with Mystra. Life has been full of challenges for him ever since.

“Oh, the veggies and fruits in the garden appear to be growing well!” Tara exclaims, looking out the window. “Maybe we can do some harvesting. I’m sure baby Jenevelle would love to get some sunshine while we tend to the garden.” I smile, admiring my newborn who lies so contently in my arms.

“That’s a wonderful idea, Tara.” I grab the baby-wearing wrap and place her in it, making sure she’s all snug as a bug. We walk outside to the yard, feeling the warm embrace of the sun. I get on my knees and begin picking all the ripe, fresh foods from our garden. I’m so thankful we’re free from our worries, and enjoying life as we should. After about an hour of gardening, I take the baby inside and prepare myself a delicious lunch, leaving some out for Gale for when he gets home in roughly thirty minutes; I imagine a busy morning leaves him rather hungry at the end of his work day.

After eating lunch, I nurse Jenevelle and notice a strange image in the mirror across from me in the living area, and it looks like a familiar face, though it’s a little obscured. I try to ignore the image and just focus on feeding my little person. As I’m feeding her, I hear the front door open and Gale’s voice saying, “Hello, I’m home!” He notices me on the couch with Jenevelle just nomming away.

“You made me lunch. Thank you.” He kisses the top of my head and looks down at our daughter. “How is Jenevelle?”

“She’s wonderful. She helped me garden outside. Well, I wore her. Still, she enjoyed it nonetheless.”

“Ah, nothing like the pleasure of the blazing sun on a spring day warming up the flesh. I can imagine why she enjoyed it.” Gale finishes up eating his lunch, and then takes the baby from my arms, holding her and admiring her as she gets sleepy. He rocks her gently, staring at her in awe as she begins to fall asleep, not a worry in the world at all. I can’t help but smile, thinking of how good life is now, enjoying it with the two I love most. The void that was once in my heart has blossomed into a field of flowers.

[defectivegembrain]

More Parks and Rec/Community crossover headcanons:

Ben and Abed would vibe about a load of different nerdy things, but when they found out they both had Batman costumes they would get competitive about who was the better Batman (obviously Abed wins)

Troy would get jealous of their friendship, but Chris would comfort him, they'd play sports together and talk about their feelings, he'd get Troy so hyped up that his usual sunshine boy demeanour would be intensified to the super cheerful Traeger level and it would be slightly creepy to witness actually

Annie would really admire Leslie until she saw how she treated Garry, who she would bond with over binders and fonts and he'd make her want to be a notary, and she'd see Leslie call Orin a weirdo for like staring into space or something, and it'd make her think of Abed and there would be a confrontation, maybe it would teach Leslie something

Britta would hear Ron talking about the government and wholeheartedly agree, but then he'd elaborate on his beliefs and she would. go to war I guess

Staring contest between Abed and April. It's accidental for him and he doesn't really know what's going on, she's never been more annoyed in her life

[streetkid-named-desire]

Bea's BG she's not the Durge

second generation bhaalspawn can still clearly be insane like orin so that's what bea is. plagued with nightmares that stopped being nightmarish and started being pleasurable almost like any other erotic dream. she did go to the surface and was kidnapped by bhaal cultists for some ritual or another, she was like the drow equivalent of a late teens early 20-something. they recognize her for what she is or something and that freaks her out but at the same time she hasnt killed anyone yet and the dreams were just dreams so whatever.

they hadn't met an actual bhaalspawn in so long and they were like doting on her and shit and she hated it. i think something makes her snap and she ends up killing a bunch of them in a rage she cant control and doesnt remember doing. all she remembered is showing up at the gates covered in blood and sobbing. she tries to find friends or community or anything but no one wants anything to do with her (on account of being drow and vibes are so rancid and weird) so she runs off and travels around doing odd jobs and finding an uncanny ability for death and destruction and fighting (i think her divine "power" manifests in enhanced combat prowess, not a whole lot not superpowered, but slightly faster reflexes and stronger than she probably should be; and also low pain tolerance/durability, like the scene i have in my head of v seeing her at the fighting ring where she just keeps getting punched in the face over and over and smiling through all the blood)

she travels away from faerun, goes really insane for a couple hundred years (again drow live a really long time) and maybe becomes like a local legend of a fearsome monster. idk what happens but then she like becomes okay again and travels to faerun. she gets near the shadow-cursed lands as some absolute cultists are out and about and they get some divine command from somewhere to stop her, i gotta flesh this part out better but she eventually gets tadpoled and thats when bhaal is like oh hey cool youre here and she becomes Worse. like it establishes, even temporary, this like divine connection that really scrambles her brain. when the absolute shit wears off she kills everyone she meets, friend or foe, on her way out of the now cleansed shadow cursed lands into the forest.

but she finds herself again and goes back to baldur's gate, fucks around for a bit, tries to join the flaming fists, does okay for a bit until one night when she loses it again cue the rest of the plot

okay here is what im thinking for the bg3 au, post tadpole, neither of them were involved with that nonsense

vg is zhent, tiefling rogue; bea is a drow fighter who got kicked out of the baldur's gate flaming fist for being too bloodthirsty when the durges got stronger and she raided a small camp of (insert d&d race) and slaughtered them all while camping with the fist out on patrol (oops).

she and vg meet at a tavern, she's drowning her sorrows because she just learned she's been blacklisted from merc work across the city. he sees an opportunity in her expensive armor and weapons

they chat, she gets drunker, they pretend to go their separate ways, he follows her and tries to pickpocket her. she catches him and they scuffle and he's got her pinned against a wall with a knife at her throat and his tail wrapped around her waist and he says maybe they'll meet again before knocking her out

he sees her begging some shopkeep she'd worked for before for a job and gets turned down again, she looks unkempt and like shit, he follows her a bit more and its the same story. later that night he sees her fighting in the undercity in some fight ring and she looks unreal, he hears she's supposed to throw the fight and she doesn't fight back but no matter how many hits she takes she never goes down and eventually flies into a rage tearing her opponents apart. the crowd goes wild (a la Monkey Man)

he says he knows she needs money bc no one will give her the time of day, he just so happens to be a member of an entrepreneurial group of people and has a job to do, he'll cut her in on the profits if she protects him

the overarching plot will helping her overcome her urges and fighting bhaal

unfortunately this is another case of taking my own crazy ideas and putting them into the world

i might involve more zhent though i think it would be fun for there to be a lil fresh blood power struggle between vg who is clearly trying to court her and rugan who is like no no i am your senior and you respect me and i get first dibs (bea kicks his ass of course but that just makes rugan want her more? idk maybe a love triangle thing to torture vg)