#i like. spoiling... AND being spoiled!! double whammy

[pawbeanies]

mm i wonder how your highness would train me. i mean, we both know that i can be a bit mischievous and that i have no problem doing whatever i want when i want to do it. and though punishments are good to prevent me from going too far, how do you ensure that I'll obey regular commands? do you use a clicker? do you use treats? something else entirely? im so curious :3

- 🌹

DOG IN MY ASKS ... my rose.. wizard that cursed my dick once more ...... hmm hmhmmm ... good question... very good things to think about. the entire day. at WORK

i think using a clicker would be fun... carrying one around to fidget with and clicking it whenever you do something i like so you associate it with that feeling of being so good for me ... clicking it and messing with you once you've gotten used to it to see how youll react because sometimes i can be mischievous too!!! i want to see if you'd react. if maybe that would make you extra eager :3

but alsooo i'm thinking about... i like giving treats... i always have treats to share and i would!! definitely figure out which ones are your favorite so i can keep them around for when you do a good job hehe.. maybe even making treats for you, a extra incentive to do well... a special treat handmade by your prince... (perhaps even giving you more special rewards and treats if you catch my drift...)

i dunno if it would help ensure anything but i hope it makes the idea of obeying very appealing... if not theres always punishments again:3

[genericpuff]

holy crap okay so

I'm two episodes into Kaos

normally I keep my expectations pretty minimal because, let's be real, the Internet - and especially Tumblr - has a tendency to severely overhype new series to be way better than they actually are and it often leaves me sitting there like "that's it? that's what people were freaking out over for weeks?? that was just a bunch of cheap ships and tropes that i've seen 123785902380 times before" LMAO

BUT thankfully compared to other series like Hazbin Hotel and The Amazing Digital Circus, I haven't been worn out on excessive fandom exposure prior to watching Kaos, so I didn't really know what to expect going in besides what folks have told me so far - it's a modern-day Greek epic, and it stars Jeff Goldblum as Zeus (which is, unsurprisingly, peak casting).

That said, I'm very pleased to say that so far, the show is absolutely blowing me away. The set designs, characterizations, weaving of all the players into a central narrative led by a very coy narrator, all of it feels both refreshing and respectful to the source material at the same time.

so uh yeah that LO animated TV show... we have reason to believe now that it's gotten picked up by Amazon Prime, at least according to the showrunner's LinkedIn and posting history from February of this year that seems to imply LO may have been picked up by Amazon-

(but still, nothing's really been confirmed because they're being so tight-lipped about this you'd almost think it's because there isn't a show happening at all cough)

But even then, that means at best we still won't see anything of the LO TV show adaption for another 2-3 years, depending on how production goes.

Why am I talking about LO right now? Well it should be obvious - Kaos double-whammied LO by beating it to the punch at its own game.

I mean, just look at the creative choices alone in the design of the Underworld and its rulers, our beloved Hades and Persephone.

And yes, the entire Underworld is color-graded like this, something so simple and yet effective in communicating the nature of the Underworld and what it stands for - a place where the past lives on through the dead, paused in time, devoid of the vibrant color grading found in Olympus - or "Olympia" as its been named in this retelling - which is, by the way, a visual treat to take in every time it's featured.

(and yes, that is S-tier-companion Billie Piper on the left, but I will not tell you who she's playing, you actually really should go into this show as blind as possible for the thrill of figuring out these characters as they're introduced <3)

That's not even getting into the narrative structure of the plot itself or the phenomenal casting and acting, but again, I don't want to spoil too much as the show is quite new, and I want to actually finish watching the show myself before I get more into the details of its story and how it delivers it (I'm very much hoping I will still be singing this show's praises at the end of its 8 episodes, please for the love of god don't jump the shark, I don't think my heart can take that kind of pain again.)

All that's to say though, Kaos is, so far, exactly what us disappointed fans of LO deserve after all these years, and frankly, I feel like whatever is coming for the LO animated TV show is really gonna have to step up to the plate to both live up to the bar that Kaos has set as well as stand on its own without being affiliated as a cheap Amazon knockoff living in its shadow. Sounds a little familiar and a bit ironic, doesn't it?

[erosastro]

Friends characters astrology breakdown✨

☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞

Disclaimer*

- This is just for fun. I know their birthdays are mentioned in the show but this is just my opinion based on their personalities and character traits they exhibited on the show. Please don’t take it too seriously and if you disagree that’s fine too!

☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞

Rachel

☜♡☞ Sun - Leo

☜♡☞ Moon - Taurus

☜♡☞ Ascendant - Libra/Taurus

Leo Sun made perfect sense to me. I’m sure other signs would too, but this one made the most sense to me. From her fierce personality to her love for shopping and enjoying luxuries in life. That’s also where I saw her possibly being a Taurus moon, being ruled by Venus, Taurus loves luxury, fashion etc. and I’ve seen so many Leo/libra/taurus placements in the fashion industry. Her stubbornness makes me think she does have mostly fixed energy in her chart. Though she loves being spoiled, she’s also a hard worker and independent, which I absolutely see in Leo sun. Libra ascendant I think is displayed by her fashion sense, being a trendsetter, from her hair to her clothes. Plus she was charming and romantic at heart (Taurus moon).

Monica

☜♡☞Sun - Capricorn

☜♡☞ Moon- Virgo

☜♡☞ Ascendant - Cancer/Aries

I’m pretty sure she also has some Taurus placements in her chart, given her love for the culinary. But for her top three, I definitely see those placements. And I know the Virgo stereotype and I hate it too but the amount of Virgo moons that give me the same energy as Monica. The mum friend, taking care of everyone, a bit neurotic but so caring and selfless. She’s also very competitive and Capricorn placements can be VERY competitive from my experience. She’s also very nurturing and drawn to being a mum and good partner. I’d say Virgo moon and Aries/Cancer ascendant could also be swapped around, that being said. It’s only because Virgo moon felt better than Virgo rising to me.

Phoebe

☜♡☞ Sun - Aquarius

☜♡☞ Moon - Aries

☜♡☞ Ascendant - Aquarius

Wonderfully weird and brilliant, intelligent Phoebe! I loved Phoebe. She was so underrated. She screams Aquarius placements. She had her own unique sense of fashion, wasn’t afraid to be herself and step out of the box. She was also passionate about her interests and flirty (Aries moon). She was rebellious and a badass (Aries and Aquarius placements). Whilst she was aloof and not in a long term relationship, when she did commit she gave her all, which is very much Aquarius/aries. She’s also, like the Aquarius, a humanitarian and always had the biggest heart, caring for all. There was definitely a feisty side to her too.

Chandler

☜♡☞ Sun - Libra/Scorpio

☜♡☞ Moon - Gemini

☜♡☞ Ascendant - Sagittarius

I won’t lie I was kinda stumped with chandler’s sun sign. He’s honestly my favourite and he’s hilarious, witty and dark sense of humour. That’s why I felt like the double whammy air placements in his top three made sense lol. So many air placements have a dark sense of humour, however I do think Scorpio could work for his Sun sign too. One of my best friend’s has a Scorpio Sun and Gemini moon and he’s one of the funniest people I know. Once you get to know them though there’s so much more to them. They crave love and affection but can hide it well with a sense of humour, especially if they’ve had traumas they’ve faced previously, hence why these made sense for Chandler. Ascendant in Sagittarius because Sagittarius ascendants are goofy and fun and laid-back but sweet and caring too.

Joey

☜♡☞ Sun - Sagittarius/Pisces

☜♡☞ Moon - Taurus/Libra

☜♡☞ Ascendant - Leo

Joey was the cutest. Honestly his Leo ascendant is because he exudes Leo energy. Majority of the Leo ascendant men I’ve met are some of the most attractive men I’ve seen. He’s outgoing and he has a love for acting and he’s player. The reason why I said either Pisces or Sagittarius sun is because most of guys I know that are Casanovas have mutable placements. His Libra moon made sense because he’s charming and he can be romantic. Taurus could work too, the Venus ruled signs make the most sense and would also explain his love for food. He could also have a Taurus mars.

Ross

☜♡☞ Sun - Taurus

☜♡☞ Moon - Capricorn

☜♡☞ Ascendant - Virgo/Scorpio

I think he may be the least liked character 😅 and I understand why. He does come across as judgemental and stubborn, hence my top three. As a Virgo rising myself I know we tend to come across as judgey but it’s because we’re so hard on ourselves that we can sometimes seem that way to other way. And the same is said for Scorpio risings, I’ve noticed. The incredible stubbornness is no doubt from his Taurus sun + Capricorn moon. I love a Capricorn moon but man they are stubborn cookies and with a Taurus can be very stuck in their ways. His dorkiness and nerdiness can also be explained by Virgo rising, even Capricorn moon. He’s also very career focused but loves with all his heart, up to a fault.

☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞

Extra notes:

☜♡☞ Rachel and Monica being best friends is soooo Leo x Capricorn. These two are always drawn to each other and make a great pair. They work so well together.

☜♡☞ Rachel and Ross being drawn to each other constantly and having a passionate, lovey dovey relationship is very much fixed sign squared energy. And if Ross’s sun was conjunct Rachel’s moon, that would also explain why despite their other relationships, they’d always come back to each other.

☜♡☞ Joey and Chandler being best friends again, makes so much of sense with either one of their sun combinations. Libra x Sagittarius are best friends. Like I’ve always seen that. Even Pisces x Scorpio they tend to understand each other at a deeper level. Hell, even Libra x Pisces, signs who are inconjunct like Leo and Capricorn that seem to have nothing in common can get on like a house on fire.

☜♡☞ with Monica and Chandler, Virgo moons always seem to be attracted to Libra and Sagittarius placements, one being squared but the attraction is definitely there. I’ve also seen Capricorn x Scorpio combo being common in a lot of couples. Plus, all Libra x Aries placements I’ve met are not feeling each other at first but then make the best couple/best of friends.

☜♡☞ Joey and Rachel having similar placements could also be why they were attracted to each other at some point but because of that, that also could be why they wouldn’t work out in the long term.

☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞ ☜♡☞

What do you guys think? Always interested in seeing other perspectives so long as it’s respectful!

[honeymouthedtales]

Okay lemme try this again. If you don't know the Oedipus Complex/Rex please give it a quick search. Us psych students either hate it, avoid it or use it as a joke. But tell me why I'm having thots about CHWN possibly having penis/omega envy for DH. Doesn't fit beautifully into the theory, but if you were ever to marinate on a possible reason why she would deserve JM again this would be it. It could be a phenomenon that their society experiences. Worse for DH coz he's also a man so DOUBLE WHAMMY

first of all hiiii thank you this was so interesting to answer, i'm quite sorry you had a character limit bc i really would've liked you to tell me more about the oedypus complex in relation to the fic bc i know about it in terms of greek mythology, like i know the story, but i've never talked about it with someone who studies psychology so that would've been a blast.

to answer you, in a sense you are right, she definitely has a complex or even more than one. first she's a girl in a family of boys and she thinks she should be the little princess who gets protected but dh is an omega so not only he gets a lot of extra attention from her parents but bc of secondary gender he is also attractive to boys taking yet another privilege that should be hers only as a girl.

this is a bit of a reach from her bc gay relationships do exist, but we're talking about insecurities as a very deep level where logic is rarely used. she would probably feel a sense of unfairness even without omegaverse involved if the guy she liked decided he was bi and felt attracted to her brother but then it would be cheating and it would be his fault. but in jm's case he felt attracted only bc dh was an omega, so for that she feels like she can only blame dh. in a sense dh is a rarity, normally omegas are girls but she is a girl who is not an omega, so not only she feels less special/less attractive compared to other girls who are omegas, but she also feels like it's unfair that this privilege she didn't have somehow fell in her brother's lap, so yes she is quite jealous of him being an omega.

but in jm's case he felt attracted only bc dh was an omega, so for that she feels like she can only blame dh.

at the same time jm chose to take dh's side over hers because of his loyalty towards a friend so in this case it's like male solidarity, bros before hoes in a sense, so dh is winning over her both as a boy and as an omega and ig that's something that really hurts her self-esteem.

you can add this to an insecurity she would feel anyway bc dh is the smart sibling while she's not school smart and she skips classes and her parents scold her and compare her to him a lot. not to say she's not smart, there's a lot of kids who aren't school smart but do extremely well later, but kr society is very much obsessed with education fever and school rankings so this is all pressure she, as a not exclusively school smart kid, has to endure. and these are not factors related to second gender, but elements you would find in a normal sibling r/s, but if you add the other omegaverse elements we listed into this already conflictual sibling it becomes kinda explosive.

i don't want to completely justify cw bc as a sister she's been pretty shitty but i also think that i was the one who set her up for failure. ofc it wouldn't be easy for her to accept the situation maturely bc she just isn't old enough to be mature. she's not even eighteen and like teen years are realistically the worst in terms of maturity bc there's a lot of reassessing the world and your position in it while not completely having all the instruments to do it right bc you're old enough to feel mature while not realizing you're not mature, at all.

without spoiling their ending bc i haven't decided about it yet, i can say that jm probably understands cw very well, but because he understands her reasons so well he realized that enabling her hatred toward her brother for something he couldn't absolutely control was not helpful and would only let her spiral further. and like i say it is very normal to feel insecure and also to have very unhinged reactions and feelings when you're a teenager, i just feel in cw's case she was subjected to different sources of insecurity and she leashed out pretty badly in a way that is very unbecoming and makes people side with dh, making her more annoyed in turn.

as for whether she and jm they can get back together in the future depends on (my mood ahah) mainly from how much cw has grown and whether jm is still free/willing to be with her. like, they were high school lovers for a very short time, they don't have to get back together at all costs. she also might realize that she doesn't want to be with someone she can't trust (even if the lack of trust is an issue on her side, like you said she simply might want to choose someone who has no previous baggage with her brother for her own peace of mind).

[crow-of-paradise]

10 characters | 10 fandoms | 10 tags (we'll see about that last one) I haven't made a text post in so long how's everyone doing. Thank you, rj (@sidprescot), for the tag! This was a nice surprise. :)

Gosh do I have a type and they're all Old Men and Tragic Ladies my beloved. Let's go!! 1. Varric Tethras (Dragon Age 2): he shot right through my heart with that crossbow THE LITERAL SECOND he came on screen and I've been cursing Bioware ever since. He is a nonromanceable short king and I have never wanted anyone more thx. 2. Nakmor Drack (Mass Effect Andromeda): the Tempest Crew is so freaking charming, and while I love my jelly fish cat aliens the Angara, my favorite character is absolutely this old cantakerous grandpa Krogan. Whom, much like Wrex, I wish I could romance. (p.s. there is a TEASE of a flirt option and u can imagine how little that helped my case) 3. Spock (literally every Star Trek iteration): He is my Everything. Nemoy, Quinto, and Peck all bring something unique to the character's portrayal. I love him in every universe and I can never get enough of this EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED NERD.

4. Alicent Hightower (House of the Dragon): one half of my divorced lesbinems and I feel so much for her and the tragedy/complexity of both her character and the heartwrenching slow decay of her r/s with Rhaenyra. I cannot wait for S2. 5. Aerith Gainsborough (Final Fantasy VII): ooooough, beautiful, tragic, kind, funny, cool flower seller of my life. Remake!Aerith particularly stole my heart along with the show. There is this sad, beguiling mystery about her that draws you in, and she is so cheerful in spite of it all. I can't wait for Rebirth but also I am terrified lol. 6. Yennefer of Vengerberg (The Witcher): "How ravishing she is, he thought. Everything about her is ravishing. And menacing. Those colours of hers; that contrast of black and white. Beauty and menace. Her raven-black, natural curls. Her cheekbones, pronounced, emphasising a wrinkle, which her smile – if she deigned to smile – created beside her mouth, wonderfully narrow and pale beneath her lipstick…" I mean. C'mon. That is MY WIFE etc, copy paste rj's exact blurb. Anya Chalotra is the perfect Yen. She is everything and deserves the world and I will glady let her burn it all down and murder me if she wants to. 7. Zero (Final Fantasy XIV): [Endwalker patch spoilers!] who doesn't love an autistic badass goth half-human half-voidsent who has lived as a monster for so long she forgot her own identity and is learning how to be human again and finding her humanity via the power of friendship and delicious food, like. I needed more of her and I miss her already!!!

8. Kim Wexler (Better Call Saul): omg so hard to pick just one from this show (ilu nacho), but Kim Wexler SUCKER PUNCHES U IN THE THROAT with her awesomeness. She is this extremely competent, understated cool, calculating yet caring and earnest character who compliments Jimmy so well and whose nuances her amazing actress Rhea Seehorn manages to convey so masterfully. She is also tragic af, but hello it's Breaking Bad prequel lol. On that note... 9. Kim Kitsuragi (Disco Elysium): DOUBLE KIM WHAMMY!!! They're so alike it's not even funny. I'd say Kim has the stronger moral center between the two, but I love them for many of the same reasons. He is also extremely competent, understated cool, with a side of being totally game for Harry's antics once he warms up to him (my Harry build was 'himbo' so he did a lot of dumb shit but he was nice). 10. Irving Bailiff (Severance): firstable, if you haven't seen Severance yet, please do yourself the favor and don't let me spoil this for u!! Irving Bailiff is an Experience. He is a stickler for the rules and very much a stick in the mud compared to his colleagues, but his true self leaks into this version of himself slowly at first, then in surprising bursts of rebellion that become clear at the end when it is shown that his Outtie/true self is actively trying to bring Lumon down like a TOTAL FUCKING BADASS in the most delightful reveal. Also he has a whirlwind romance with another old man played by Christopher Walken.

phew!! this was fun. lol @ my answers getting longer. I'm not tagging anyone but consider this an invitation to join in on the fun anyway!

[bhaalsdeepbat]

it happened i started writing "oops here's a baby" au while i outline what i wanna do with the scenes i have planned in my main retelling but with more durge emphasis thing. some ramblings

Vera is gonna have big bat ears as a child that she has to grow into. like her ears will be HUGE everyone will be like this poor fucking kid....then she grows into a killer queen

i'm obsessed with the idea of vera being able to charm people kinda young and using that to get people to spoil her lmao she'll lean hard into vampire tropes when younger to fit in, then chill out about it. Like it's kinda a phase, but not all of it lmao she just exaggerating some things

I had initially thought about giving her long hair, but I like the idea of a longer A-Line. Still short, but long enough she (leon until she's old enough to do her own hair) can braid the front sections and pin everything back when she needs to be Fancy. She's gonna murder some people before adulthood cus that bloodlust be strong with her double whammy. For her it's the scent and hunger. Like once they get her hunger under control she's fine.

I decided she'll have a familiar, but i gotta think more how i wanna do that bc considering it being part of her shadow magic and it being the hound of ill omen but working fanfic magic to make it a permanent summon that has a battle form.

also i'm thinking dhampir births = traumatic and if durge wasn't....durge they would have died. specifically i keep thinking of their claws ripping shit on the way out which is kind of a lot, but gives me the horrified at birthing feels so i'm into it.

Wren will struggle with how intense and vivid their thoughts get. They'll have the closest to what the Urges felt like, but not quite as strongly bc playing into "not strong enough blood connection to bhaal" type thing.

wren is going to be the quiet one of the two. they're a perceptive little fuck and tend to people watch. they're a little feral, but it's different from the feral they get when the urges be urging. there's no violence to their normal feral behaviors. they just sometimes act like a half-raised animal and spend a lot of time wildshaped as a wolf.

wren's best friends will be a pack of wild dogs and some of the stray cats. they'll get in trouble for sneaking some down to jaheira's secret place bc they'd find their way in pretty fucking quick and spend a lot of time with the animals down there. wren is jaheira's little freespirit. No locks can keep wren in or out. wren goes where wren wants.

like these two children will be opposites and some of it will be nature but also some of it nurture bc they're being raised in entirely different environments.

Wren will have SO much respect for life and death and treat corpses with reverence, but then Vera just. sometimes forgets that she's supposed to be treating corpses differently from the living, but all bodies have the potential to be alive or dead at any given moment and death just isn't permanent. plus just all the quirks the vampire spawn would have from their new status as the living dead.

[mexican-texican]

We need your Help

I'm almost shocked on how there's been very little national coverage on what we went through yesterday (1.24.23) here in Houston.

So, remember how I said we don't get snow? Yeah, um, we also don't get tornadoes.

Like

EVER.

Even less so than snow, actually, and we got hit with a EF2 yesterday that pummeled through the city and left hundreds homeless in this apartment complex alone.

I typically wouldn't ever ask for help, but my dad got hit with a double whammy yesterday; while he was out helping get his elderly upstairs neighbor out of her unit before it collapsed on her, someone walked into his unit and managed to swipe half of his savings he had taken out of the safe just moments before the funnel hit.

Everyone lost their homes yesterday. My dad almost wasn't able to get his cat out because they didn't want to let him back in, and the cat was one of three things he managed to get out before they rushed him. He couldn't even get any clothes, barely managing to get his groceries that hadn't spoiled yet and whatever tech he had to fix for his business to make quick cash. My little brother can't even go back to school because the roof lifted off and the windows blew out while he was inside hunkered down across the street.

My father's raised me to be humble, but I know when you've been beaten down to not be afraid of raising a hand and I gotta admit, this man is keeping his hands down.

Anything at the moment would help, please, I was already struggling with being unemployed and fostering six cats, and now I'm housing my father and younger brother with nothing to their names. I think I figured out how to enable tipping, but I also have Cashapp, Venmo, and PayPal to make it easier, as well as a Zelle QR.

Even if there isn't much to spare, at least spreading word of what we went through yesterday would be helpful in getting aid to those even worse off.

Cashapp: $SpicyPickleCake

Venmo: @Mexican_Texican

PayPal: @MexicanTexican

[roughdrafthero]

Hello RDHero, I have a fic rec. Spare the Rod by dementian on ao3 is a very well written, epic saga of a fic if you like a/b/o that explores the social dystopia that happens when secondary genders and patriarchal systems get out of control. Despite the length and darker parts, it’s not purely depressing and keeps your interest throughout. It reminded me of tsgdt in that there is a defiant omega/guide challenging a flawed system, but beyond that they are two very different stories with different themes. But both stories are grounded and plot heavy for their genre, which is why I wanted to tell you about this fic. I also saw that you watched downton abbey back in the day, and this is a downton abbey fic centered around Thomas, a working class omega. The scenario it sets up where a/b/o meets the Edwardian class system is a double whammy. Don’t let the Robert/Thomas tag put you off, it’s a precautionary tag. There’s a main love interest that I won’t spoil, but his presence is an interesting incorporation of a real “historical” figure into an a/b/o fic universe.

I’m reccing an a/b/o fic first because you’ve written in that genre before and I rather hoped it would catch your interest. But in case you’re looking for something less dark and “out there”, Dementian’s other downton fics are very good. They have an almost original fiction quality to them, where the plot stands on it’s own with twists and resolutions, while at the same time being intrinsically connected to core characterizations and well researched canon historical settings.

Bad Harvest, in particular, might be up your alley. It’s an m/m/m crime thriller with hints of dom/sub. (There’re ropes and DP if that’s up your alley.) Beyond being hot and plotty, it also has a super well written female character whose steely strength and kindness is a joy to read, and villains that are three dimensional and human. If you enjoy Thomas barrow and co. that’s a bonus, but you could honestly read it as an original fic. Both fics are around 500k, a word of warning for those who are looking for short and sweet. But as someone who has never read anything over 100k, these flew by. I felt rather spoiled by the author, as if I were reading a series of published novels (albeit less marketable novels that had graphic m/m smut and grey moral decision making.) As someone who usually prefers original work, I was able to get lost in these two fics and hope you might find some enjoyment out of them as well.

Wow, thank you, i'm definitely going to check this out. "Can be read as original" is like music to my ears. Now that I'm thinking about it, I feel like I was reading a Downton Abbey omegaverse wip back in the day ... maybe this is the same one!

[bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus]

Teaser for C.9 of Bloodhound!

If you want to go in completely blind for the C.9 and C.10 double-whammy (I'm sorry, I'm too eager to hack this up and post it so you won't have voting for between the chaps) , please ignore this and just admire the gif of Graves.

If you're frothing at the mouth at the mere sight anything to do with Bloodhound, please, be my guest and read on!

This is an excerpt of Graves' side and does include Valeria. I'd greatly appreciate some feedback if you have any, but don't worry if you don't and just want to have a cheeky read <3.

Hope you enjoy, guys!

Her resolve was breaking, crumbling away like sand through her fingers. She was faltering, stumbling over a root as she dragged her body to continue on. Valeria looked behind to see she had lost sight of the base. Slowly, she returned her gaze to what was in front of her: the vague path back to their camp.

She had cast that awful mask aside, leaving it to be found at the edge of the base, where the back of that dilapidated building met the woods, hoping you’d find it and that it’d light a fire under your arse.

A life taken was, in her eyes, better than a life doomed. At least, with murder, there came some form of closure. Some form of a definitive… end.

How long until it would set in? Until he’d unravel and consume them all?

Consume you?

She prayed that the anger she had seen in your face, as she had grabbed a fistful of your hair, bringing your bloodied visage to look upon hers, meant you had it in you to fix this. There was a good chance you’d reject Ghost and flee the moment you discovered his newfound nature. And… you’d be right in doing that- you know, to kill him before he’d get into their hands. Valeria hoped you’d stab him with a silver stake in his sleep or do her the kindness of making him scream. Oooh. Something inside her giggled with sadistic joy at the though of an Arcadian Son screaming in agony at the hands of a lamia. What a triumph that would be! An arrogant man with strength he didn’t deserve nor need, squirming about at the feet of a trafficked child. Valeria hungered for that, and she had found a substitute in reigning supreme over the Las Almas Cartel but, now that she thought about it, it wasn’t the same. It was play. It was her living in a fantasy, rehearsing all the things she wanted to say and do to her overseer. There were many people that sat at the back of her mind, giving voice to her innermost doubts and fears, whom she wanted to see burn by her hands, and he was one of them. That heartless fucker who managed to worm his way into her very being, one who she’d still want to see in awe of her, to feel a swell of pride as she’d slit his throat.

Every Arcadian Son was the same. Every single one. They all did nothing but hurt, exploit, and terrorise. Throwing around their gifts without a care in the world and making sure everyone was constantly feeling their anguish, their pain.

But what about mine?! What about my pain?!

She trudged on, doing her best to halt the tears pooling in her eyes. In an ill attempt to self-soothe, Valeria found her arms slowly snaking around her, her body pulling her into an embrace. It stung as the cartel queen felt a tear trickle from her eye, rolling down her nose, clinging to the end. Then another, and another, and another once more. Valeria wanted to beat someone half to death. She wanted to feel powerful again, toying with people. She had thought that all these years she had spent on herself, spoiling herself rotten with an underground empire and plenty of men to crush beneath her boot, she had grown. And yet, here she was, a sobbing, snivelling mess, nothing more than a weak, little girl.

Little girl.

“You wouldn’t have existed if it weren’t for me.”

Little girl.

“I will always be with you.”

Little girl.

“You will always be scared of men like me. You will always be scared of men.”

The way those words had been uttered to her, all those years ago, with no anger, no emotion behind them, uttered like cold, hard facts. As if she was made to be a certain way. As if she couldn’t escape her nature. As if she was destined to be a caricature, an idea of a person. It was as if everything Valeria had ever done had meant nothing, because all this she had created, had accumulated, had achieved, was merely boiled down to a response to him. Essentially, Valeria realised that she was and would always be nothing more than his lamia.

A quivering breath escaped her, and she became still. Glossy brown eyes stared into the middle distance.

She could have said no, died in defiance.

And yet, she obeyed.

How far was she from camp?

“Valeria?”

Quick as a whip, she snapped back to reality and saw Graves, directly in front of her, standing amidst the shrubbery. His posture indicated he was concerned, slightly leaning forward, one unsure foot put in front of the other, hands hovering in place, shaking with slight trepidation. To him, she didn’t look well. Something about her indicated she wasn’t entirely here and as for her slightly unkempt armour and bloodstained face, Phillip feared she wouldn’t be able to give a decent report.

Still¸ he sighed, no harm in tryin’.

“Valeria?”

“You disgrace the army.”

Every single fucking man she had ever met had, in some form or the other, left a nasty mark on her. Every. Single. Fucking. One.

As she watched Phillip approach her, with a patronising dose of caution, her lip curled.

“I want the missiles. I want the target. And I want Hassan. And you’ve got ten seconds or I’m going to show you the difference between military and me.”

Phillip Graves was feeling sorry for himself now, but she knew it was only a matter of time before he’d be back to his usual self, or perhaps even worse.

“Valeria?”

“What?!” she snapped.

“Have you delivered the package to the target and…”

She could tell he was looking her up and down.

“… Did the renegade do that to you?”

Valeria wasn’t fooled by his softened voice. She took a disgusted step back as he took one towards her.

“What do you think?” Valeria sighed, making to brush past him and collect her things at camp so she could leave this promptly.

He grabbed her, hard, by the wrists. She looked at him like he wasn’t even human, her eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, a face depicting someone who was taken aback by not a man, but an animal.

“I need a full report of what happened,” he spoke to her like she was a mere child.

She looked at him, trying to find his eyes behind that blank visor. Although there really wasn’t much of a hight difference between them, she felt as though he was consuming her whole field of vision. Angry tears should have told him enough, but it was evident that he wanted to hear it from her lips.

“Let me go.”

“I need a report.”

“Let me go.”

“You can have your tantrum afterwards, Garza. I need a report. You do realise that this is technically a mission-”

She pulled away, trying to break free of his grip, but to no avail. Over his shoulder, she could see the tantalising shape of camp. Valeria wriggled, demanding to be released. Phillip’s grip only tightened.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

STOP!

Valeria kicked him, screamed at him and, in a moment of brief freedom, before he’d trap her in his embrace once more, she hit his armoured chest. Again, and again and again. All that came out of her were shrieks and curses that sounded as though they had been trapped in her gullet for centuries. She punched and punched his chest, fighting to break free from his grip as he reestablished control. Graves supposed he’d let her have her moment for a few seconds, however, he soon grew tired of her hysteria.

“Valeria… Valeria, will you just… Val-”

He sighed.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GIVE ME THE GODDAMN REPORT!” he roared.

Then, Phillip fell silent, as if surprised by his own voice. He sounded a lot worse than he did when she last spoke to him, merely hours ago.

Valeria glowered at him but did as he said, regaining composure. She was breathless, panting as her whole body rose and fell in time with her stifled gasps for air. Her hands were raised in front of her, held in place by his, almost framing her face.

“The renegade was there. They saw me. And as for the target… Riley’s received the package.”

He eyed the woman, seeing if he could smell any lies on her. However, it seemed she was telling the truth. Phillip let go of her hands and watched them drop to her sides.

“Clean yourself up and go log it on the lexicon-thingy. I received a call from them not too long after you left. They said they want to hear it from you.”

She pushed past him, wiping away the salty water on her lips with the back of her hand.

[the-coconut-asado]

CRAIC GOURMETS

As my brother-in-law Darcy used to say (when he was 22), I’ve been around a long time and I’ve seen a lot of things. But it wasn’t until this year that I had been to Ireland. Darcy has never been to Ireland, but I’ll wager that over a beer or three he will tell you he has. He once told his friends about the ‘awesome’ Jimi Hendrix gig he went to in Sydney, a miraculous 20 years after Hendrix had died. And, as if to prove life is a circle, Hendrix’ statue now stands  bang in the middle of Dublin. Maybe Darcy did go to Ireland after all. 

My neglect of Ireland was never intentional. It’s just that there had never been a  reason to go. And when we finally did plan to go - for my friend Sue’s big birthday back in 2020  - well, you know what happened next. 

For many years (specifically through my childhood and youth) Irish cuisine was underrated, something you would now have to put down to tired clichés (and that’s if you were being kind). Yet of everywhere in Northern Europe, Ireland has arguably the biggest abundance of fish, seafood, root vegetables and dairy in combination. Paint a still life and the oyster and crayfish would glisten against a creamy backdrop of colcannon, creamy risotto and a rugged hunk of treacly soda bread. And now I’m ravenous. 

We decided to do the trip we should have done in 2020. Sue’s family were originally from Galway on the West Coast, so that’s where we headed,  via Dublin and with a day spent circumnavigating a very wet Connemara. Ah,  I can hear you saying, arms folded, that’s why you never visited Ireland before.

But, just as in San Sebastian last year, the weather wsn’t what we were there for. 

In Dublin we had the first of many gourmet experiences - at an Indian restaurant called Pickle. Like everything we ate that week, Pickle elevated its specialty dishes beyond mere ‘tasty’. True, and also like everything we ate that week, our Euros didn’t stretch very far. But when the food is this good, the ‘ouch’ factor is balanced by the memory. I would definitely make a special trip to Dublin again for Pickles’ Dingle Bay crab and mango and Khadai Paneer (cottage cheese in a fenugreek sauce)

In Galway, you are spoiled for choice on where to eat. But a top choice is Ruibin,  where the oysters, the salmon and the custardy based desserts meant you could gorge without feeling bloated. Plenty of energy left, then, for what followed that night. Let’s just say the ‘singalong’ we were promised in the Galway Sailing Club (part of the Arts Festival that week) didn’t happen in the way we had imagined. No folksy ballads and resounding choruses of ‘Whiskey in a jar’ here; it was more about Celine Dion stick effigies, (very) interpretative Riverdance and a plaintive cry or ‘What the f*** is happening right now?’ as a parade of Tina Turner masks cavorted past us hollering SImply the Best in various keys. What an excellent night that was. 

The next morning, be-Guinnessed and bedraggled, we headed to Ard Bia at Nimmos, the only breakfast bistro I have been to that has a Michelin Star. Here we achieved a personal best of a 100 EUR bill for breakfast (for 3 of us). My rather beautiful l Vegan Breakfast Bowl with freshly made potato farls delivered a double whammy of luxuriance and healthful smug, that smug a  little undermined by  the chilli-moccaccino that accompanied it. 

I say weather wasn’t what we were there for, but it would have been grand for the rain to have stopped, just for five minutes, during our day’s driving tour of Connemara. ‘If you ever catch me saying again how I would like to move to Ireland, please remind me of this,’ said Sue as she, once again, tried to de-mist her side of the windscreen. However, in spite of the driving rain and keening wind, we alighted on one of Ireland’s most picturesque spots for lunch: The Misunderstood Heron at Leenaun. This is a permanent food truck that serves just a few options including steaming mussels in a chorizo broth and peat-hut smoked salmon on a pillowy sourdough. We held our umbrellas over the food and clumsily wolffed both of these down while gazing at the Loch through the mist. Make sure you detour here when you visit. Whatever the weather. 

The rain continued into the evening, which made our evening stop at O’Gradys by the Pier, right next to the crashing waves and craggy beach, all the more Lorna Doone-y. O’Grady’s has portholes for windows so you can see the dramatic scenery through a romance novel frame, while at the same time feeling cosy and cossetted from a menu that included Roast Cod with bacon, prawn and pea risotto and a full-bodied Irish Coffee to round the evening off. 

We headed back to Dublin for our final evening, and dived straight into pub fayre and live music at The Temple Bar and O’Shea’s Merchant. Guinness stew with herb dumplings? Don’t mind if I did. And yes, the Guinness did taste better here. 

I have recreated two of my favourite Irish dishes here, and an eternal favourite dessert which would not look out of place on Ruibin’s menu or Ard Bia’s dessert cabinet. 

No other Craic needed. 

Pan-fried Cod Cheeks with Bacon and Prawn Risotto (serves 2)

This dish is buttery, creamy and packed with mellow flavours. I don’t think this needs peas as well so have omitted but you can add if you wish. Instead this is liberally laced with fresh chopped parsely. Make this a staple during the winter months. Serves 4. 

Ingredients: 

4 small cod loin fillets

2 tbsp butter

For the risotto: 

1 tbsp. Olive oil

6 rashers streaky bacon

11/4 cups arborio rice

1 small onion (I used a red onion for the colour but use whatever you have), chopped

¼ cup dry white wine

3 cups chicken stock

2 cups water

125g raw peeled prawns

Generous handful of parsley, chopped

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

How to make: 

Heat the oil in a frying pan and fry off the bacon until brown but not overdone. Remove, cut into small pieces and put in a small bowl. Heat the stock and water on a low heat. 

Heat 2 tbsp. Butter in a larg-ish saucepan or saute pan. Then add the onion and a generous pinch of salt and fry until the onions are soft. Add the rice and stir to coat for a minute. Then add the white wine and cook until the wine has almost evaporated, then add ½ a cup of the stock mixture and stir on a low/ medium heat until reduced.

Keep adding ½ a cup of stock to the risotto and keep stirring as the liquid gets absorbed into the rice but still creamy. By the time you have incorporated your last ½ cup of stock, the risotto should be ready (the rice should be smooth but still have a touch of bite). Yurn off the heat and cover while you cook the prawns and cod. 

Pat the cod dry and season. Ditto with the prawns. Add the second 2 tblp of butter to the frying pan and fry the prawns u ntil just pink on both sides  - just a few  minutes (do not overcook or the prawns become rubbery). Reserve the prawns withe the bacon. Add the cod loin fillets to the pan and saute for about 2-3 minutes on each side. While the cod is cooking stir the prawns, bacon and chopped parsley into the risotto. 

Spoon  the risotto into four bowls and top each mound of rice with a cod loin. Drizzle some of the pan juices over the top, sprinkle with a touch more parsley and serve. 

Mussels in a Chorizo-Beer Broth

When I had these at the Misunderstood Heron, I could have ordered several bowls. It comes together quickly, thanks to the miracle of molluscs which impart so much ocean-fresh flavour in a matter of minutes of cooking. A dish that just makes you smile. Serves 2

Ingredients: 

1kg Mussels, de-bearded and rinsed

250g uncooked chorizo, casings removed

1 tbsp. Olive oil

1 onion, thinly sliced

2 garlic cloves 

2 tsp. ground cumin

1 stp. Salt

1 12 oz bottle beer or lager

2 tbsp. Unsalted butter

Generous bunch choppced coriander

Crusty sourdough for serving

How to make: 

Heat oil in large pan or wok (one with a lid). Cook chorizo, onion, chopped garlic, cumin and salt, stirring to break up the chorizo, until the onions are soft and the chorizo cooked through (8- 10 mins).

Add beer and butter, increase the heat and bring to the boil. Cook for a minute or so to reduce slightly. 

Add mussels, cover and cook until mussels are oprn (6-8 minutes). Discard any that do not open. Spoon the mussels into bowls, ladle the broth around them, then top with cilantro (and a shake of tabasco sauce if you fancy it). 

Serve with warm crusty bread. 

Apple and Custard Pie

This is my go-to apple pie-ish dessert, thanks to a shorter than short pastry I learnt from John Tovey in a 1980’s edition of Sainsbury’s Magazine. This pastry has the texture of a viennese whirl and crumbles in your mouth. The recipe is on a ripped out page of the magazine,  now yellow and curly at the edges. But still unbeatable. Serves 8-10. 

Ingredients

For the pastry: 

350g self raising flour

110g cornflower

350g soft butter

Zest of 1 lemon

110g golden caster sugar

2 egg yolks

For the filling

8 cox or granny smith apples

200g creme fraiche or sour cream

110 soft brown sugar

1 tbpn flour

2 large eggs

How to make

Put the flour and cornflour and butter (in walnut-sized chunks) into a food processor and pulse until just the texture of rubble (you should never overwork pastry and particularly not this one). Add the sugar and lemon juice and stir to incorporate (a couple more pulses should do it). Whisk the egg yorks then dribble them evenly over the toip of the mix and pulse 2 or 3 times until the mixture clumps into bigger ‘rocks’. Tip the mix onto a floured surface and gently bring together until it is a ball of pastry. Cut the pastry into a ⅔-⅓ split, roll each into a ball and flatten slightly. Wrap in foil and chil for at least 4 hours (or overnight). 

Bring the pastry fully back to room temperature. Roll out on a sheet of baking parchment until larger than the circumference of a 22cm fluted pan. Fit neatly pushing into the edges (it could be messy but this is a great ‘patching’ pastry). Pop into the fridge and chill for 30 mins. 

Heat the oven to 170C or 160C fan. Line the pie crust with foil and fill with baking beans. Bake in the oven for 30 mins then remove the foil and beans and put to one side while you make the filling. Turn the oven up to 175C or 165C Fan. 

To make the filling, peel core and thinly slice the apples (toss in a bowl with jiue of ½ a lemon to keep from browning). In a jug, mix the custard ingredients intil smooth. Working quickly, layer apples and custard until you have finished both.

Roll out the pastry lid and popover the apples, pressing at the edges and using any spare pastry to patch up any cracks. Bake for 50-mins to an hour until the pastry is golden brown. 

Remove from oven and dust generously with caster sugar. Let the pie cool down, then remove from the ring, transfer to a platter and serve. 

[astros-turf]

I'm watching one piece. I'm on episode 512. Major spoilers for the marinefort arc so if you don't want that spoiled don't read.

I have made a literal blog post blogging about my feelings when it comes to one piece. If you wish to read an essay of how emotional I get about one piece and how much it makes me cry written by a tired, high, queer guy... Then this is the post for you.

Okay. I have been incredibly emotional watching this show. It has the perfect ebb and flow with the major arcs. They build stories up so well. I could talk about this for hours. I sobbed watching the enies lobby arc. I think about Robins I WANT TO LIVE! Fucking constantly. At least once a day. I kinda want it tattooed but I don't know if I want the manga panel or just the words. And then also maybe that's a weird thing to tattoo. Anyway. She's my absolute favourite anime "girl" (quotes cuz she's a woman and it feels weird calling her a girl but this feels fedora-y i hate this). Robins just so cool and I wanna sit and hear about the lands history from her and I want her to tell me about all the theories that the archeology world has going.

But anyway I've been watching this marinefort arc and I had spoiled Aces death ahead of time for myself. So I was really struggling because I was really anxious to see it? Not because I was particularly attached to Ace, but because I'm very protective of Luffy and that's his brother so of course I care like he's my own brother. (I feel like I'm not making sense, I am high and also I have adhd lol)

But I didn't cry for Ace's death somehow. I think I was just so... Not shocked but like stunned? And also so angry that they worked so hard to get to him and Ace just had to stand his ground and I can even respect that but then the double whammy of he ultimately died to protect Luffy. And I just couldn't process that at the time. So I didn't cry. But the whole mini arc after that, the kid one? I was crying left and right at every single thing ace said. I wanted to punch Garp cuz he's an idiot. I wanted to punch Garp more for punching literal children. But mostly I cried because you learn about ace standing up to danger even when that's not the best option and you find out Roger did that too. And it turns out that ace has done it before, also to protect Luffy. Like bro Luffy is Ace's world man, like that's his baby brother and Ace is the fuckin best big bro ever. Made me miss being a kid with my brother when we used to wrestle and roughhouse all the time and have play fights and stuff. My brother is 10 years older than me, so it wasn't much of a fight ever but I remember having a blast. We don't talk anymore and that really sucks, but shit happened and I don't think the relationship will be quite the same unless he gets some therapy or a divorce or both. Anyway. Maybe that's why Ace's death is hitting me so weird, it's like too relatable?

Anyway. I've been off and on crying because of all the crew members finding out about the war and immediately trying to get the fuck to sabaody even if it kills em and I just was like oh my god everyone cares so much. Oh my god and when Jinbe was tryna get Luffy to snap out of it so he'd stop hurting himself and he was like don't you have something worth living for?? And Luffy is remembering his crew one by one I was like "Your crew! 😭" "I've missed our crew too! 😭😭" Bro I really wanna be a pirate on luffys ship. I have no idea what I'd do, I'm not superhuman smart or strong or have some sort of gimmick... None of my SpIns are useful in battle or could be adapted to be useful in battle lol. I'd have to eat a devil fruit for sure cuz there's no way I'd accidentally stumbled ass backwards into haki how I am now. Anyway. Crying.

The whole reason I made this post. I thought I was good. I thought surely, this is gonna be a time when I don't cry. They're finally telling us the full meaning behind what luffys message was and giving us a better look at the photo of Luffy. Cool. Ooo, crocodile. Oh shit? The new gay lovers are going to the new world? With what crew?

Awwww oh my goodness. Everyones home towns... Oh my god Dadan! DADAN. "REST IN PEACE YOU BRAT!" had me HICCUP CRYING. IT STARTED WITH A HICCUP TOO. I had to pause and do a reality check when you're like too deep in the media ya know? Cuz I was like holy fuckin shit get ahold of yourself man. And then I realized that this show feels like free therapy with how much I fuckin cry. And then I was like I gotta ramble about this so here we are.

[leviticus101st]

My Live Tweet thread of Gen:Lock

(I copy and pasted a Twitter Thread of my reaction to Gen:Lock. I'm more active on Twitter, so if ya want to see more from me, my @ is LeviJones101st)

I don't usually do this, but I decided to live tweet my watch through of Gen:Lock.

Let's see if this shit show was worth all the workplace abuse and fucking over of the Nomad of Nowhere.

Spoilers: I believe the answer is gonna be no.

Okay. Starting out and this is more of a small thing, but I've gotten really sick of Sci fi settings that always like showing off how super advanced they are by showing technology that does not look like it'd be used.

Like Dave and his girlfriend decided to take leave to visit his mom with……some kind of physical hologram?

Why? Why do this instead of just physically going there?

My nitpicking aside. This opener is actually really solid, establishing this mysterious threat that I totally didn't spoil myself on and making the main hero look likable.

"How did it get so close?!" Lady. If nome of you noticed that thing, ya'll would have fallen apart even if this Union thing wasn't around.

Okay, this opening episode was actually pretty good.

And….wooow that Theme Song does not match this kind of show. It's apparently a licensed song, which is just baffling to me.

They forced people from their other projects to rush their work on this show, they had a moral line not to force a rush job from Jeff and Casey Williams?

I mean, I'm happy for them not being forced to crunch out or anything, I just find it funny that's where they draw the line.

I like that Chase is actually taking all of this very well.

It's actually quite nice.

OH MY GOD! THEY SAID THE THANG! can I go home now?

Doc….I think they're meeting their future regardless……I mean the future is the time that isn't now…….so technically they'll never meet it.

Also, I do believe that people should grieve however they can……but Miranda is kind of an asshole. At least the lady in MoU said 'good to say ya again'

I actually really love Weller. He is just so casual about everything and I love it.

I'm actually getting into this show. It is a bit slow though, ESPECIALLY for an 8 episode season.

"Making soldiers out of children!" Lady. These are grown ass adults. We're these guys meant to be like teenagers originally?

WELLER! JUST TELL THEM THE SPY WASN'T COMPATIBLE!

Weller's speech about "making a difference" is actually quite nice.

I'm already halfway through S1 and while it's been slow going, I'm actually really enjoying myself so far.

Hey. They're saying the RWBY thing.

This Nemesis thing is actually pretty cool.

And the action is actually pretty solid.

Being in a digital space where you control the mech and can affect the mind and personality of the mech pilot is actually a very interesting concept.

I'm sure somewhere this idea was done before, but this is an interesting concept.

The Chase clone twist is actually very compelling.

"Your Deus Ex Machina!"

That's actually a very clever double meaning with the phrase, kudos.

It took us til the end of the season, but we finally got the genlocks in their promoted designs.

The designs do clash with the shows visual aesthetic, but they are actually cool.

Okay. Overall, this first season was actually pretty good.

I'll be watching the second season tommorow, since it's like 10:00 where I live and i have a cavity filling tommorow.

So if what I heard about Season 2 is true, ill be in for a double whammy of pain.

Got a cavity filling and I can't feel the left side of my mouth.

Sounds like the perfect condition to watch Gen:Lock S2. I might be out of it, so maybe there won't be much live tweeting.

Hopefully, people were just overexaggerating how bad it is and it's just okay at worst.

Though I doubt it given what I've heard.

Okay this theme song matches the show better……but honestly this one just sucks.

And immediately it's clear that it's a different person writing for the show.

"Kazu is just whining" no, he’s not. You're just being childish Chase.

Aside from some awkwardness with the new creative team, this first episode was actually pretty solid.

Are they…….are they trying to make the Union look like they were in the right?????¿

Also, a good showcase of why you can't just stretch something into a 16:9 screen format

The Union:

Did the priest dude just use a deadass evil switch.

Wow, they really are tying to present this as a grey on grey conflict, aren't they?

Oh my lord they are.

OH WOELW! THAT SEX SCENE JUST CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!

It was a literal sex scene jumpscare.

Hmmmmmmm. I wonder if the Union, the guys who committed mass Terrorist actions, make machines that are over the topply evil, and took over the world, are the good guys.

Yasamin is the only character making sense in this damn show.

"They were so peaceful!" NO THEY WEREN'T! WE SAW GROUPS OF PEOPLE COMMITING SUICIDE! THERE IS NO RELIGION ON THE PLANET THAT ENDORSES IT!

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN FROM A RELIGION FUSION DANCE ANYWAY?!

Cammie girl, lass, my sister in christ….YOU LITERALLY CHANGED YOUR PERSONALITY! WHY CAN'T KAZU DO THE SAME!

Whose idea was it to throw in all the sex stuff?????? It's not gritty or gross or whatever, IT'S JUST BIZARRE!

Also, why did nobody mention this climate crisis in Season 1?

Also, are they trying to make the Union look like a cult, because that's what it looks like to me.

This shallow samurai shit made to crap on old school anime is actually crapping on bad modern anime.

No seriously, this roboshogun stuff makes me cringe so hard.

It's trying to mock old mecha anime like Gundam and the like, but instead it's giving me the vibe of a bad high-school anime that came out in the early 2010's.

Also, this might just be a me thing, but this attempt to jump around the timeline is really annoying. Just transition to one story and say their happening at the same time, yesh.

Toxic masculinity stuff. I am totally tapped out on this.

Another JumpSex. That's my new nickname for it.

AND WHY IS THIS BEING SHOW WITH INTERCUTS TO CHASE'S ACTUALLY INTERESTING STUFF.

"See how the Polity wars!" I do see……it is significantly better than how you guys do it

Wow…..Cammie is kind of a brat.

Wow. This making the polity bad shit is annoying.

And of course……Kazu's dead.

Who the fuck kills off a character after their arc just finished?!

Like……..narratively what does this accomplish????? And no 'showing the hardship of war' is not a good reason.

All this 'grey on grey morality ' shit has done is make me hate all the characters.

Except for Kazu and Yasamin…….and they killed the former. And the latter I only like because she is the only one calling out everyone's bullshit.

And now I have to listen to Marin try and justify fascism.

MAYBE TURN OFF THE SCREAMING HEADS WHEN PRESENTING YOUR SELL'S PITCH!

'Like my old one, but different' I want to throw a dictionary at your head.

This Chase corruption plot is actually cool and interesting, a shame it's not the actual focus of this damn season.

They're trying way too hard to portray the 'Flow' as a good thing.

"Man, this roboshogun thing is so graphic!"

Why are you people affected by a 2D cartoon with blood in it when you've seen a bunch of corpses.

Also, mandatory joke about how 3D characters see live action shows and that kinda thing.

Ew……just ew.

Marin is trying to stop a cult from ruling the world and everyone is trying to stop her 'evul' plan.

I hate well intentioned extremists Union. I hate it so much.

I love mechanic dude and I can never remember his name.

I have to say the LowTierGod cinematic universe is turning out to be extremely lame so far.

I praised RWBY Vol9 when It did this thing, but I think this show makes that stuff worst in hindsight.

Also, why is Cammie's model look so weird????

Does…..typo

WAITAMINUTE! YOU MEAN THE EVIL CULT WHO TRIES TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD IS EVIL?!

God, the ceo mech is so ugly

I haven't mentioned this, but man this show is so much uglier now

I actually really like the Chase plot, it's just a shame that it's buried in so much crap.

Oh my god, the last episode, I'm almost done here.

I'm all burnt out on this show. I'm just gonna point out what's funny from now.

YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF NOW!-The Ultimate Message of Gen:Lock

I love this dumb fucking ai thing so much.

God, at times the dialogue is so fucking bad.

God, I hate Sinclair so bad.

Also, the body horror is so lame.

Lmao! This beast thing was made out to be so big and might and yet it's so small next to the skyscrapers.

That's it? That's the climax???????????? WHAT?!

THAT'S THE CLIMAX?! THAT WAS SO ANTI CLIMATIC WHAT THE HELL!

Also, Genlock's message…..it's proud theme?!

What did Chase's sister do to get to New York exactly????

I'm gonna fucking scream.

That's it? THAT'S IT?!

Fuck this 2nd season!

Fuck the higher ups for abusing the staff!

Fuck the pornbots who keep liking this thread!

IM DONE!

I did this whole ass thread and I appreciate absolutely none of it.

On the plus side, I can feel the left side of my face again….mostly.

[dashboarddiaries]

Dashboard Diaries is a production of Atypical Artists, hosted by Lauren Shippen (@thelaurenshippen) and Cher McAnelly (@overchers). Our theme was composed by Lauren Shippen and mixed by Brandon Grugle. Art by Shae McMullin. Transcription by Laudable.

For bonus clips, ad-free episodes, and more, become a patron at patreon.com/dashboarddiaries

Transcript under the cut!

[intro music]

Cher: Hello, Antler Queens. I’m Cher McAnelly, Head of Entertainment at Tumblr. And the wilderness speaks to me. 

Lauren: And I’m Lauren Shippen, Professional Writer, who is never eaten another human being.

Cher: And this is Dashboard Diaries, a podcast for you – the folks who are in this internet bunker with us. We talk about what’s going on in our favorite hell site, get into what we like to call “tumbl-lore,” do fandom deep dives, and share the times when we’ve gone feral over a new ship.

So, Lauren, what has your last week on Tumblr been like?

Lauren: I feel like it has been finale central over the last ... especially the last four or five days. We’re recording this on Wednesday, it will come out on Friday. And between Succession, Barry, and Ted Lasso we’re really actually not even in season finale realm but in series finale realm. Because obviously the finale of Yellowjackets which we’re talking about today was last Friday. But then both Barry and Succession ended on Sunday and my dash has basically just been reactions to Succession and Barry for the past two days straight.

Now today I’m starting to get the Ted Lasso finale reactions. So, it’s been a lot of very, very complicated feelings that I think a lot of people I follow share and a lot of people on Tumblr share which the general consensus and the feeling that I have is that the Succession and the Barry finales were perfect. And they were also so hard to watch. I’m not going to spoil anything for anybody who is not caught up, but it was just ... both of those shows are dark comedy tragedies, right? That’s what they are. And they ended the way that they only could ever end. And it was so well executed and also after that double whammy on Sunday night I was like, I need to stare at the wall for a while.

Cher: Yeah. It’s hard to put into words ... that was ... what a finale. That was a lot. It was, oh my gosh. I kept checking the time to make sure ... I just didn’t want it to end. I kept being like, “How much longer is this episode?” It’s so ... UH ... just every scene was so intense and just so good. I mean, I would put this finale up there with the Sopranos finale, honestly.

Lauren: Yeah, I’d totally do that.

Cher: And please take this with a grain of salt because I will admit in this moment I have never watched Sopranos. 

Lauren: (laughs)

Cher: I’ve just heard so much about the finale!

Lauren: I’ll believe you, because I’ve never watched The Sopranos either!

(laughter) 

Cher: Yeah, look ... people have in depth explained the finale to me, and then it all goes dark and you don’t even know. So, I feel like I was there. And I’ve watched three episodes of Sopranos, so I get the overall vibe. 

Lauren: It’s in your consciousness for sure. 

Cher: Yeah. So, I can judge, I can compare The Sopranos finale to the Succession finale.

Lauren: Absolutely.

Cher: I’m an expert now. I was going to ask you how you felt about the Barry finale? Because I actually stopped watching Barry a few episodes ago because when they did the flash forward it just got so painfully bleak for me that I was like I need to take a step back. And I haven’t finished it. I’m going to finish it. I’ve watched every episode of Barry. I’m going to finish the show. I’m not a quitter. I don’t think ... but it’s so intense! 

Lauren: Yeah. It’s so intense. And I had a long conversation with my partner about this season in particular after the finale. And just the fact that for the most part the last few episodes or at least there is a scene in sort of the back half of the season in each season of Barry that has a big sort of action set piece, whether it’s the chase in season three, or Barry going through the gang hideout in season one and killing everybody. There’s always sort of a big thing. 

And this season doesn’t really have that in the same way. And I thought that was really, really interesting. And yet the finale felt like that. It evoked the same emotion of like watching a tense action sequence, but the action actually was all very quick. There was action but it happened very quickly. Everything in the episode happened very quickly. And it was unbelievably bleak. But also not bleak in like a we are sort of indulging in misery. I think some bleak content can kind of indulge in misery in a not productive way. But I think what’s so great about Barry is that it’s still always saying something.

And I will say this without spoiling anything ... and I mean this as the highest compliment I can give, but the second to last shot in the Barry finale I literally said out loud, “Are you fucking kidding me!?” 

(laughter)

Because they do something that’s just like so outlandish and so ... it makes perfect sense. It’s at the perfect conclusion to the story that we’ve watched, but it was also just like oh my god, I can’t believe we’re here. So, once you watch the last season, if you do watch the rest of the season, I’m very excited to hear what you think. And I think the other thing too that was really interesting about the Barry finale, especially comparing it to Succession and Lasso’s finales is that both Succession and Ted Lasso were an hour and fifteen. And those shows are usually around an hour anyway. But like Barry was like 33 minutes. It always is. It was just like we’re in, we’re out, you’re going to see ... we’re going to conclude 900 character stories really quick. There’s an economy to that show that I just find astounding.

So, Bill Hader, I am worshipping at your feet. But anyway ... how was your last week on Tumblr?

Cher: I mean, I think we were having a very similar week on Tumblr, very enmeshed in the Succession discourse. I was really enjoying watching along as that kind of unfolded post finale. I didn’t watch it Sunday night, so it was great to kind of watch it Sunday morning, or Monday morning and then kind of scroll. 

I saw a post that, gosh, what is it ... Roman wears a shirt in one of the scenes of the Succession finale when he’s like at his mom’s Bahamas house or wherever they are. And it’s like just a children’s stripey shirt from Wal-Mart. And people found it and it’s like $13 at Wal-Mart. It has been sold out. (laughs) 

Lauren: Oh my god. That’s amazing!

Cher: Yeah. So, I love that Tumblr teaches me a new thing every day. And so yeah ... and also just Yellowjackets, man. Which I know we’re going to dive into that this episode, but ... wow, wow, wow, wow. WOW. Yeah. 

Lauren: I mean, should we just go right into Yellowjackets and do the rest of our stuff after?

Cher: Yes.

Lauren: Switch things up?

Cher: Yeah, let’s. 

Lauren: Should we do that?

Cher: Yeah. We’re diving in. Okay. Let’s crash right into the forest of Yellowjackets, you know what I mean?

[game show trill]

So, Lauren, as you watched Yellowjackets, but you’re not caught up, right? Or you have not seen it at all?

Lauren: No, I’m now fully caught up. 

Cher: Oh, you’re fully caught up. 

Lauren: Yes.

Cher: Incredible!

Lauren: I’ve seen it all. Yeah.

Cher: Oh my gosh. Okay. So ...

Lauren: Yes. So, this is a spoiler zone. If you haven’t watched Yellowjackets and you want to ... 

Cher: We have entered ... oh ... the spoiler Thunder Dome here. I’m excited. All right. 

Lauren: (laughs) Yes. 

Cher: First question – what were your thoughts on the finale? 

Lauren: Yeah. I thought it felt like the natural conclusion to everything that they’ve been doing this season. We knew that it was going to end in a major character’s death. And I don’t know that I saw Natalie being the person who dies. I don’t know if I saw that coming. I thought maybe it would be Lottie. I wasn’t totally sure. But the thing that truly shocked me was Coach Ben. 

Cher: Okay.

Lauren: Like ... Cher, tell me what you think about that whole thing?

Cher: I was typing up the other questions I was thinking of as you were talking and I was literally just typing in all caps, “COACH BEN IN HIS VIILAIN ERA.” (laughs) 

Lauren: (laughs) 

Cher: Oh my gosh.

Lauren: So, yeah, tell me everything. Do you think that he lit the cabin on fire, first of all?

Cher: I’m conflicted about it. I think the overall consensus in the fandom, at least from what I have seen is – yes, he lit the cabin on fire. I have seen some people thinking, “Oh no, he didn’t light the cabin on fire. That’s what they want you to think.” The wilderness set the cabin on fire. 

Lauren: Oh? 

Cher: And people were asking ... You know, I saw one comment that said, “Ben was just trying to go to the cabin to get rope to create a rope ladder and matches to start a fire and now you are all accusing him of arson.” But that moment when he looked through the window and he saw everyone kind of doing that ritual with Natalie as the antler queen where Natalie was the one person who he thought still had some shred of humanity. I think he just broke. I think he did.

Lauren: Yeah.

Cher: I think he did. I think you make irrational decisions when you are starving and your soccer team that you once coached are now cannibalistic. I don’t know what I would have done, you know what I mean? What do you think?

Lauren: I mean, I think he did it. I’m also speaking an unpopular opinion. I don’t think he’s totally crazy for doing that. I think it’s awful. Right? It’s terrible, they are children and he is the one adult in the room, and he I think generally has not been stepping up as the adult in the room. 

Cher: Not at all.

Lauren: Obviously he is down a leg, he experienced a great physical trauma compared to some of the other folks, but yeah, he’s just sort of generally been fairly passive and a situation in which he should be stepping up. But at the same time I think moving from we’re eating people who have died, which ... there’s a podcast called “You’re Wrong About” that does some great sort of arcs of episodes about the Donner party and the boys rugby team that crashed in the Ande’s in the ‘70s that Yellowjackets is kind of inspired by. And where they talk about the cannibalism that happened in those situations. I think the broad understanding is that, yeah, if you’re in that situation with Jackie who died of exposure, eating that person is not some sort of unforgivable sin. Right? It doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s like that person is already dead. It might be unsafe, because I mean, prion disease exists and if you eat the wrong part of your own species you can get mad cow disease basically. 

Cher: Yeah.

Lauren: But when you move from that to we are now actively hunting our fellow people and putting them to death? I don’t know, I think Ben maybe has some rights in this regard. (laughs)

Cher: Yeah. I mean, I feel like he must have thought it’s us or them. Me or them at this point.

Lauren: Right.

Cher: Because he has now escaped. He’s found his little hidey hole. But he kind of hinted to Natalie that it’s somewhere. She doesn’t know but Javi led her part of the way there. And they’re hunters, they could eventually find him. They’re a big group. So, I’m sure that’s what was going through his head. And him thinking, well, they’re going to find me and eat me. I guess ... or, I burn the cabin down. (laughs)

Lauren: I guess I should say I don’t think that what Ben did was necessarily justified or good but I don’t think it’s any different from what the girls are doing, right? In some ways I think it’s slightly less sadistic. The way in which they ... I mean, I also love that ... I’m very curious what you think about the ritual that they did to pick the person to hunt. Because I actually love that we didn’t get to see that process. That we just jumped into them doing it and we don’t get to see how they come to this conclusion. What did you think about that?

Cher: Yeah. I liked it. I think it was very much this is the way that they’ve been deciding things already, right? Their chores are decided with the card. And I also think it’s really interesting that Javi was the one who brought the queen card back. 

Lauren: Oh, I don’t know that I connected that.

Cher: Earlier when he is ... Yeah. It’s like a throwaway line. I have closed captions on so I don’t even know how loud it actually was. But there’s a line in the episode after Javi is found in season two where Ty asks him, “Where did you find this queen card?” And so he found it. 

Lauren: Interesting.

Cher: He found the card that ultimately led to his demise. But also the way that they’ve picked the cards ... Yeah, I found really interesting and kind of just, “Oh yeah, this is how we’ve been doing chores, this is how we’ll pick the person we cannibalize.” Yeah, duh, that’s how you do it. I also think it’s interesting that they were willing to kill Nat, which she’s the one person who can track and hunt. But I guess from their POV she hadn’t been succeeding in hunting, but it’s also the depths of winter and she had gotten them game before. So, you know? It is wild to think that they just went from Lottie needs to eat to we’re going to eat someone. 

Lauren: Yeah.

Cher: And also Coach Ben was gone for like, what, two hours, three hours? 

Lauren: Yeah!

Cher: He goes on a little field trip and he comes back and they’ve killed Javi. They’ve hunted and killed Javi. 

Lauren: It’s complete anarchy. (laughs)

Cher: Right? And the thing is he probably came back ... okay, what’s your POV? He came back to just tell Nat, “Hey, let’s get the hell out of there.” Or he came back to say, “I’ve saved us all?” 

Lauren: I think he came back to neither. I think he came back to get supplies. Right? He found this place and he was like, “I can’t just survive, I need stuff. I need matches. I need stuff to survive.” 

Cher: Yeah.

Lauren: And then I think he saw Nat and was like, you know what, she’s had a level head this whole time. If there’s one person I’m going to save it should be her. And so he gave her that chance. And if that had happened, if somehow Javi hadn’t died by that point who knows what Nat would have chosen to do. Maybe she would have left. Because I think that she was up until she let Javi die. I think that she was very much everyone else has lost their god damn minds. (laughs) And I’m the one sane person here.

Cher: Yeah. Well, and I also think it really frustrated me the way that she framed Javi’s death to Coach Ben when he said, “You’re not like these girls.” And she said, “No, I’m worse. I was supposed to die and I let him die in my place.” What she should have said was, “They were hunting me. Javi fell through the ice and I let Javi die in my place because he fell through the ice.” And also the thing is, if you fall through the ice you probably get ... the amount of time he was in there he probably would have died anyway. 

Lauren: Yeah, almost certainly. Yeah. 

Cher: So ... 

Lauren: I totally agree. Yeah.

Cher: I feel like if she had said that to him Coach Ben would have been like, “Well, that’s fucked up, but that’s not your fault.” (laughs)

Lauren: Yeah. But I think it makes so much sense for Nat’s character, right? And I think that’s why she also was the one to die at the end of all of it, right? It’s like she’s been carrying around this guilt like she felt everything was her responsibility. And she didn’t want to be responsible for someone dying because of her own passivity. Right? Which I think is very, very tragic. And I have seen some fan reactions on Tumblr that people are pretty disappointed with Natalie’s death and the fact that she was going on this healing journey. And then sort of got that healing journey taken away from her by dying. And that it was not what that character deserved. 

I have a slightly different perspective on her healing journey. I’m curious to hear what you think. 

Cher: Okay. 

Lauren: Because when she went to Lottie’s, no ... when she was kidnapped and ended up at Lottie’s and spending time there and everything, the change of heart that she had and sort of the change in mood and perspective happened so quickly that I was like this woman is not healing. She is actively repressing stuff. She has decided to detach herself from reality. Not to say that she deserved to die or anything. None of them deserved to die. But I don’t think that actually she was on her way to healing. I think that she was falling into Lottie’s delusion in the same way that she did in the past. And we see her do that in the past. And so I don’t know what your perspective on that is. 

Cher: I mean, honestly, my perspective was kind of she changed so much, so dramatically – even in her demeanor and her body language that I thought she was being drugged. 

Lauren: Yes. Yeah!

Cher: Lottie is drugging her, because what the hell?

Lauren: What is going on!?

Cher: (laughter) So, I do kind of ... it is interesting that maybe ... and I did see some commentary say this is a space that Nat has been in before. Right? She has been to rehab. She has been in retreat spaces where you do introspection. And you kind of work through things, so she just snapped right back into that routine and that place mentally. 

Lauren: Which is a good point.

Cher: Interesting perspective I’ve seen. It does bum me out that her death was ruled as a drug overdose and she was sober. And her struggle had been drug addiction. I really wish she’d died in a different way or it hadn’t been ruled a drug overdose, because I just felt like that was kind of a slap in the face to her character. 

Lauren: Totally. Yeah, I completely ... I think that it makes sense from a dramatic irony standpoint but it still sucks right? Yeah. Because she had gotten sober and ...

Cher: I know that Yellowjackets isn’t the most realistic show in the world, so maybe I’m being nitpicky here. But once Misty realized who she was accidentally stabbing, which I think she did kind of instantaneously. Why would she press down on the syringe? Because you need to do that to do a full dose. And even if she’d started pressing, why didn’t she stop? You know? I’ve used a syringe before. 

Lauren: That’s a good point.

Cher: There’s a little give there.

Lauren: Yeah, that’s a really good point.

Cher: Yeah. Right? 

Lauren: Huh. Yeah. 

Cher: Just questions, questions for the show runners.

Lauren: I don’t know. Food for thought. 

(laughter)

Well, and speaking of I guess realism, I think one of the things that Yellowjackets has been toying with for its two seasons is the idea of the supernatural, right? And I think I’ve seen a lot of reactions from fans specifically in re-blogs of the gif set of Shauna and Lottie as adults at the end when Shauna is like, “There was no wilderness, it was always us.” And Lottie saying, “Isn’t that the same thing?” And that sort of being the thesis of the show. And I do think that it’s the thesis of the show.

However, do you think that there’s still something supernatural going on? Or is it just like all mass delusion kind of thing? 

Cher: I mean, I’ll say I just love shows that have a supernatural element of some sort. I want there to be something supernatural to be going on. I don’t think there is. I do think it’s a shared delusion. And that it’s just a lot of coincidence. But the fact that a bear just walked into their camp is wild to me. Things like that happening are wild to me, but again could that be part of a shard delusion of some sort because we’ve seen moments where you’re convinced it’s reality – like Akilah’s mouse. And then you find out the mouse was never alive and hadn’t been alive since like probably the ‘80s. It was completely mummified. 

Lauren: Yes. Yeah. 

Cher: So, all these themes where you think Akilah completely has it together. No, she’s been ... So, maybe they found a dead bear. Maybe something else happened. You know?

Lauren: Yeah.

Cher: Maybe it didn’t just stroll into camp and walk right up to Lottie. Maybe that’s what they all decided happened. 

Lauren: Yeah. Completely. I think you’re right. I do think that probably there’s nothing supernatural going on. I think most things can be explained. I think even Taissa’s sort of dream self and stuff ... that can just be explained through an untreated mental illness. Right? However-

Cher: Exactly.

Lauren: ... the symbol, right? What’s the deal with the cymbal? (laughs)

Cher: The symbol! Oh my gosh. I mean ... 

Lauren: That’s the one loose thread that I’m like, “When is this going to be explained?” (laughs) 

Cher: A really ... and the symbol is on the tree that has the moss-

Lauren: Yes!

Cher: ... that Coach Ben goes into. And the symbol is there right at the crash site, right where they land, and I do think the symbol is a map. That’s the symbolism map of the land that they’re in. 

Lauren: Yes.

Cher: Some people say that the symbol is because the symbol is on all of those points throughout and it is a map, it isn’t a map but a ritual and it’s trapped the darkness within that space. 

Lauren: Hmmmm.

Cher: And that’s what the symbol is. I don’t know. What do you think? What’s your POV on the symbol? And on the kind of what we might see happen next in the next season?

Lauren: Yeah. I mean, I think the symbol being a map makes a lot of sense. I think the idea of it being some sort of pentagram capturing the demon is nonsense, too. I think even Taissa finding the symbols in her sleep, obviously that could just be explained by our brains attached to patterns and also noticing subconsciously that we don’t notice consciously. But also I would not be surprised if we got a reveal in the next season that Taissa is actually carving the symbols. Right? That would make sense to me. 

The thing that I’m like what is the origin point about, is the fact that the symbols have been there from the beginning. And they were at the crash site and they are in all of these places. And so it’s like I want to know is it that the guy who lived in the cabin before was like carving them? Has this happened before with another group of people? And that’s something that I am actually not sure this show is ever going to answer. Because I don’t think narratively they have to. But I still want to know. (laughs)

Cher: Yeah. I really am so interested in what the symbol is, and I do want more of what it is. I do wish they were a little faster with dropping kind of bread crumbs about it. Because I think we knew it was a map by the end of the first season. Right? So, what new kind information have we found? But I do think, yeah, especially Tai’s kind of dark or second shadow self or whatever you might call it – the fact that this man with no eyes who her grandmother saw, she now sees. And leads her to the symbol quite far from where they are, but also we know that they go to that ledge already. 

So, if she’s near that she could have carved the symbol. She could have seen it that one place that one time, maybe it’s in a tree and then she carves it. But also the fact the symbol, the places that the symbol are also build and create the symbol. 

Lauren: Yes.

Cher: I think it was cabin daddy or his crew.

Lauren: Yeah, it must have been. Yeah.

Cher: There’s got to be some kind of underground tunnels, right, because Lottie keeps hallucinating those or seeing them in her dreams. 

Lauren: Oh, you’re right.

Cher: When she was electrocuted at the beginning of the first episode. She sees herself walking in that tunnel by candlelight. 

Lauren: Candles, yeah. That’s right! Huh. So, we already know that Yellowjackets is getting a season three. What are some hopes, wishes, predictions that you have for season three?

Cher: I predict that we will have another wilderness survivor show up. I don’t know who it is, but a lot of people think it’s Mari, because ... someone did some frame by frame analysis of season two episode one when you see the survivors getting on the plane. And there is a teammate ... there’s one of the girls who has her hood down and she’s looking down and they compared the bottom of her face to Mari’s face and it looks like it could be Mari. I’ve also seen speculation though that Mari is pit girl. Pit girl could also be Jen, who is another kind of JV character. I think Mari is varsity. So, it would be interesting.

I also think Coach Ben survives. I am split between the theory that Coach Ben is going to be the big bad in the past and the present. 

Lauren: Oh! 

Cher: Or ... that Coach Ben didn’t get rescued with them and he’s still out there in the wilderness. And so these are some of my little predictions. And at some point they have to break up, right, into the warring clans, right? So, I wonder how they’re going to, if they’re all going to live together under the same roof, potentially in the plain but still be at war because where else is there to live? 

Lauren: Right.

Cher: It’s interesting. And I do think Antler Queen is a rotating role. There is going to be-

Lauren: Yes. Yeah.

Cher: ... multiple Antler Queens. What are your kind of thoughts and predictions and hopes for season three and beyond?

Lauren: I love that. I love the idea of Ben still being out there because of course if he hides from them the whole time then yeah he would know that they were rescued necessarily. Yeah, I mean, I wonder, too if we might eventually see the present day, the adult girls go back to the same spot. You know? Somehow charter a plane and get back there and sort of return to where it all happened.

Cher: I really think that is a natural next step.

Lauren: Yeah. 

Cher: Especially because I would say Lottie’s kind of cult wilderness retreat. First off, the symbolism is there when you get an aerial view. So that was the first step. Season one, they reconnect. Second they do the hunt in a wilderness at some kind of space. And I do think, yeah, season three they’re going to go back. I think in season three they’re going to back late in the season I think season four is when they are going to still be back there and season five when they will return to humanity and resolution.

Lauren: Yes. That makes perfect sense to me. Because also we have so much ... there’s so much story to explore in the past, right, especially now that the cabin has burned down. We have to see [crosstalk 00:27:35] we have to see the hunt, we have to find out who pit girl is, we have to see them find new shelter, deal with Ben in whatever way that needs to be dealt with. 

But I don’t know what the present day plot is, right? Because it’s like Adam’s murder has been resolved. Travis’ death has been resolved. Obviously there’s going to be the emotional fallout of Natalie’s death. And they’re still Taissa’s whole deal to deal with. But they don’t ... what is going to be the next thing sort of for them as a group to confront? And I’m really curious ... is it going to be that Ben somehow shows up? It feels like there’s going to be, yeah, another wilderness survivor, but it’s going to be something that they ... maybe someone they thought was dead or something. 

Cher: Yeah, I think there’s got to be that trigger that brings them back to the wilderness. And so yeah it’s going to be interesting to see what that is. I think season three will definitely open with them in the future reeling from Natalie’s death. I think Van is going to find out that she’s in remission from cancer. 

Lauren: Ooh. Yes.

Cher: And I think that is what the, because the wilderness got what it wanted. I do think that’s why she was so all in on doing the ritual again. And I think yeah in the past we’re going to see them kind of figuring out how to get shelter. I think it’s definitely going to be the plane, because we see-

Lauren: It has to be, yeah.

Cher: ... in the first episode when they’re walking away from ... in the morning after their nighttime cannibal feast around the fire they’re walking away and when they pan up you can see the wreckage of the plane. So, it’s nearby where they’re doing their little canniballing. 

Lauren: That makes sense.

Cher: I’ve re-watched this show a lot. 

Lauren: I was going to say, you’re picking up on details that I have not picked up on. I love it. (laughs) 

Cher: Having a lot of fun watching it. Do you have any personal favorite Tumblr takes or Tumblr posts that you saw? Because there have just been some real excellent content coming out of the season finale. 

Lauren: I mean ... I have loved all of the Ben memes and we’ll be sure to re-blog a bunch of those to www.DashboardDiaries.Tumblr.com. But beyond the Ben memes, I haven’t seen any of the sort of big predictions that you just made. So, I’m curious what your favorite Tumblr takes have been.

Cher: Oh, my favorite Tumblr takes have been less predictions and more, yeah, like memes and posts. No real in depth things like what I have really been latching onto, as much as I definitely have been reading all of that and thank you all for your insights. My favorite post that I think I saw was the fact that the cast threw an actual funeral for Javi. Did you see this? 

Lauren: No. 

Cher: Wait, I’ll drop the link now.

Lauren: Oh my gosh. 

Cher: And we will re-blog it to Dashboard Diaries. 

Lauren: Oh my god. This is so cute. 

Cher: Right? Isn’t it?

Lauren: They’re actually dressed in black around one of those memorial photos of Javi.

Cher: Beside the memorial photo. 

Lauren: That is so cute.

Cher: Oh my gosh. 

Lauren: Oh my god. Well, ‘cause also of course, I mean, when somebody dies on the show you lose that cast member and that’s always sad, right? So, you don’t get to hang out with your pal anymore. 

Cher: Exactly. I love that they did a little special funeral and send off. And I also just sent you another one of my favorites which is an image ... it’s like in the format of the live slug reaction meme, but it’s live Coach Ben reaction and it’s Coach Ben outside of the window watching Nat become Antler Queen. (laughs) 

Lauren: (laughs) That’s so good. Oh my god, I love it. Yes, I will be liking and re-blogging this. 

Cher: And then this is one of my just favorite Yellowjackets posts over all, it’s from season one, but always relevant. So, this post is from Neon Envy and it says, “Diversity win. The woman crouched outside your window eating dirt is a lesbian.” 

(laughter) 

Lauren: So applicable. That’s so great.

Cher: So, really living for all of the Yellowjackets memes and content. What a show. 

Lauren: What a show.

Cher: Please quadruple all writer’s salaries so that we can get all our shows back. Thank you very much.

Lauren: Yes, please. So, before we move onto our ad break and then the rest of our stuff, I do have a tiny little quiz for you because one of the episodes this season was titled Two Truths and a Lie, which is a classic game. And one that was played in the episode. And so I have a Two Truths and a Lie for you about the insect, yellow jackets. 

Cher: Ooooh. 

Lauren: I’m going to say three statements to you and you’re going to tell me which one is a lie.

Yellow jackets die when they sting.

Some yellow jackets build nests underground.

Yellow jackets eat other insects. 

So, which of those is NOT true?

Cher: Yellow jackets do not die when they sting. 

[game show chime]

Lauren: You are correct!

Cher: They can sting you as many times as you want, as they want. If they want to sting you three times on one finger when you’re five years old, they can do that! Not that that has happened to me.

Lauren: I think maybe we’re unlocking some more Cher back-story, injury back-story.

(laughter)

But yeah, I think thematically yellow jackets are a great insect to choose for this team because they will sting you multiple times. They eat other human beings in the way that yellow jackets eat other insects. So, I’m curious if they try to build a shelter underground. Who knows? Because some yellow jackets do that.

Cher: Coach Ben does kind of have the underground situation. Yeah, and they did have their pit but I guess that’s not fully underground. Them losing the cabin is going to just accelerate their descent into-

Lauren: Completely.

Cher: ... complete ridiculousness. I don’t even ... just chaos. Absolute lawless chaos.

[synth]

Cher: Speaking of things underground ... digging into our archives, should we go on into our Dashboard Confessionals?

Lauren: Let’s do it. 

[guitar riff]

So, this week I have a post that I re-blogged on May 30, 2016. So, almost exactly six years ago. Nope, sorry, seven years ago. It’s 2023. I knew that. And it is one of my favorite videos on Tumblr. It begins with a guy on a skateboard who then jumps onto a railing that then goes into a body of water, which is extreme vine energy. Right? That was something that was very common at the time. But then he bursts up from the water and has a massive fish in his hands. And it’s just absurd, it’s hilarious, it’s a great example of the structure of storytelling. You know, you set up a premise – man skating on a railing, then you introduce a conflict – he’s about to go into a body of water, and then you have a twist – he comes out of the body of water holding a live fish. So, just a masterpiece through and through. Cher, what do you have from your archives?

Cher: I have a really special posts, some nice nostalgia here. I posted this, or re-blogged this on May 30th, 2015. So, eight years ago. Yes. And it’s from Keep My Whiskey Neat and it is a photo of, if you are over 20 you may remember, 3D Doritos. A classic excellent snack. One of my favorite childhood snacks. And the caption says, “I can’t stop thinking about the one that got away, even though I haven’t seen you in years. There will always be a soft spot in my heart for you. I love you and miss you and hope that wherever you are you are genuinely happy.” (laughs) We miss you, 3D Doritos!

Lauren: A) I love this post. And B) I genuinely forgot all about 3D Doritos. What a time. That time in the late ‘90s, early 2000s where they were just doing crazy stuff with food. The purpose ketchup. It was all wild.

Cher: I was just about to say, yeah, the colorful ketchup and the colorful butter. 

Lauren: Yes.

Cher: When Cheetos used to turn your tongue green. Remember that? (laughs)

Lauren: Yeah, what was going on? What happened?

Cher: I’m convinced for that one that they made a batch of Cheetos and they turned the tester’s tongues green and they were like, you know what, we can use this to our advantage. (laughs)

Lauren: We can market this to weird kids! (laughs)

Cher: Oh my gosh. What a time. 

[game show sounds]

Lauren: So, we have a mail bag today. We have a listener email from a German listener, Pia, who wanted to share their perspective on Eurovision as a German viewer. And there were lots of great insights in this email. Basically Pia explains that Germany is so used to coming last or second to last that it’s just become this perpetual joke amongst German Eurovision fans. And that they thought maybe this year they might have a chance, given that Lord of the Lost, the band that was representing Germany, felt like a little bit more Eurovision-y but sadly they still came in last apparently. 

But the thing that I really enjoyed about this email especially was that Pia shared some ideas that German fans on Tumblr have been having around how Germany can improve their chances in the future. So, I’m just going to read through some of these examples. 

So, when Germany came in last again there were hilarious Tumblr posts going around suggesting Germany should just go rogue next year. Like letting a random security guard sing, off key yodeling, etc. The funniest one in my opinion is one in German that suggested a very elaborate plan for next year. And Pia sent through this post which we’ll re-blog but it is all in German, so Pia thankfully sort or shortened and explained it to me. I will shorten it a bit here but it included letting the long time German ESC commentator, Peter Urban, choose a group of toddlers at random who will proceed to compose a song. This song will be given to a random marching band, not toddlers, from a small town. But only a few minutes before the performance. 

During the performance rules from an elected German allotment garden club (love the specificity there) will be recited by the small town’s local [inaudible 00:38:07]. Something like King of the Marksmen in English and someone who wins a marksmen competition at a traditional German festival held annually by a lot of German towns. 

So, there’s lots of love about that summary of this German Tumblr post. (laughs) 

Cher: Look, I’m in for that show. (laughs)

Lauren: Right? I would happily watch a marching band play a piece they just learned that was composed by toddlers and I really like these details that German allotment garden club, I guess is a thing. And they have rules enough that this would be something that makes sense to fellow German citizens. And the fact that they have marksmen competitions in small German towns and that they have a name for the winner of those marksmen competitions is just really delightful. Germany, what a wonderful country. Thank you, Pia, for sharing your perspective on Eurovision. We love to see it. 

Cher, I think you have some Eurovision updates generally for our listeners?

Cher: I absolutely do. So, in the month of May there were a little over one million notes on posts tagged Eurovision. And so again these metrics that I have right now are only on content tagged with Eurovision. But a lot of the time people will post things and not tag them. So, I will say that this is likely significantly larger. But one million notes on Eurovision content. And 333,000 searches for Eurovision on Tumblr in the month of May.

Lauren: Jeez Louise. 

Cher: The vast, vast majority of that over 90% of those numbers were the weekend of Eurovision. So, that was pretty much what was going on on Tumblr in those 48 hours which we love. (laughs)

Lauren: I love it. That’s amazing.

Cher: I thought Lord of the Lost performance was great. And they did not deserve to Lord of the Lose Eurovision. 

(laughter) 

Lauren: Tee hee.

Cher: Tee hee. (laughs) 

Lauren: That was a good one. 

Cher: Intense ridiculous fun, heavy metal performance. It was out there. It was energetic. I thought it deserved top five. Because it did have Eurovision vibe.

Lauren: Yeah, show some love to Germany. 

Cher: Yeah. 

Lauren: Well, Germany, I hope next year you fare a little bit better. 

Cher: Yeah, we’re looking forward to seeing your toddler composed small town marching band performed marksman singer show. It’ll be great.

(laughter)

Lauren: That’ll be great.

[gentle music]

Cher: What’s got you in your feels this week, Lauren?

Lauren: Well, I have a resurgence of an old and long held fandom of mine, which is always such a fun thing. And which happens in the way that it often does which is semi spontaneously. So, I live in Seattle and a local theater that is in the neighborhood that I live in was doing, or is currently doing a PG Wodehouse play. They’ve put on Jeeves Takes a Bow and I have been a huge Jeeves and Wooster fan for my entire life. And so I was like, you know what, I’m going to go and support this local theater and I’m going to go see this play. 

And I did. And it was delightful. And it’s gotten me back into my Jeeves and Wooster feelings. So, for those who maybe have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m not entirely sure how niche this fandom is but if you remember a time where there was a website called “Ask Jeeves,” this is usually how I explain Jeeves and Wooster to people. So, Ask Jeeves was a search engine back when there were more than just two search engines. And the character of Jeeves, of this butler who was very helpful, comes from a series or short stories and books by British author, PG Wodehouse. That sort of encompasses the Jeeves and Wooster adventures. 

Jeeves is this butler, he’s a valet which is a little different than a butler I think, I don’t know, it’s English aristocracy stuff from the early 20th century, who knows. And Bertie Wooster is his charge, essentially. Technically his employer, but he mostly just takes care of Bertie. HE’s sort of the one in charge. And they just get into hijinx it’s all 1920s ‘30s, London and England and New York. And my grandfather was a big PG Wodehouse fan and introduced me to the books when I was a child. And then for Christmas one year I received the DVD box set of the entire Jeeves and Wooster BBC series from the early ‘90s which stars real life best friends Hugh Laurie and Stephen Frye. And it is delightful. You can see some of it on YouTube. But is otherwise not on streaming anywhere.

And so I have just been re-reading, or actually I’ve been reading some of the books of PG Wodehouse that I haven’t read before. And I’ve just been getting really in my feelings about the fact that it can be 20 years since you first got into a fandom and you can not think about it for several years and then something happens and it pops back into your life and brings you joy again. So, that’s what’s gotten me in my feels. How about you, Cher?

Cher: I love that. I also did not know that Hugh Laurie and Stephen Frye are best friends and I love that little tidbit of information. 

Lauren: Oh yeah. They have a sketch show called A Bit of Frye and Laurie. Which used to be on Netflix, like years and years ago. I don’t think it’s anywhere now. But if you can find it, it is not always good. (laughs) But it’s really fun because it’s like ... it’s them, they met I think in college and became best friends, and then started writing and doing sketch together and this was their first sketch show. And it’s just delightful and ... but yeah, Jeeves and Wooster is really their, the pinnacle of their output, in my opinion, as a pair, not as individual actors. They both have done many phenomenal things.

Cher: Love that. I’ll have to find it. For my feels this week, I mean, Yellowjackets, which I feel like I just talked about for perhaps an hour, so ... we’ll skip that one. And Succession, which again we touched on. Definitely have a lot of feelings about that show ending. So, I have two things.

One is I have been watching this show called From. Have you heard of it?

Lauren: No. 

Cher: It’s an Epics show, an NGM Plus show. And I found it because I was looking for things to fill the void in my life left by Yellowjackets. And this was one of the things that came up as related and so the plot of the show is essentially this family is driving on a road trip and they drive into this town and they keep driving and they can’t seem to leave the town. They keep just coming back around to the town. There’s just not escape from it. 

Lauren: Oooh.

Cher: So, they have to stay in this town and it turns out this town is comprised entirely of people who are in the same exact situation all over the country. All over the United States. So, we don’t know where this town is and if it’s a pocket universe, what is it? And at night evil monsters come out. So, you have to be in your home at night. And so it’s kind of interesting.

Lauren: That sounds awesome!

Cher: It’s this very interesting kind of horror, it’s kind of like that show The Society, if you’ve ever watched it, which is on Netflix, it was only just one season. It was really good. One of those shows that we lost due to ... season two was supposed to be filmed during COVID. So, it just ended up not happening because the cast all did great things. 

But I’ve really been enjoying From. It is very, a lot scarier than I can ... usually my threshold, Yellowjackets is scary but From just is like full on horror. Like it really ... I’ve had to ... if it’s too scary I leave the room, but keep it playing so I can know what’s happening. 

(laughter)

But I’ve been enjoying it. 

Lauren: That’s a good system. 

Cher: Yeah. Right? And then the other thing that has me in my feels is a show called Feel Good. Have I ever talked about this? I can’t remember. 

Lauren: Oh, yeah. 

Cher: Because we’ve been doing the show for a while. It’s one of my favorite shows of all time. It’s lovely. If you haven’t watched it, it’s a Netflix, kind of like dramedy, I would say. There are two seasons on Netflix. And it’s kind of the story of a comedian who is living in London and kind of navigating their sexuality, their gender, their sobriety, love and relationships, their relationship with their parents, and it’s just such a really sweet, tender show. The lead and the person who created the show is named Mae Martin. They’re a great comedian. And they also just had a really great special that just came out on Netflix that I absolutely loved and if you haven’t watched it, please do. It had me in my feels because it’s a funny special but also it really just kind of ... they talk a lot about gender exploration and just kind of figuring yourself out. And so it’s just a really beautiful cute special as well.

And Mae Martin is on the current season of Taskmasters, season 15. So, I’ve been really enjoying watching one of my favorite comedians on Taskmaster as well. 

Lauren: That’s right!

Cher: So, that’s ... Mae Martin just overall has me in my feels. Love them. (laughs)

Lauren: I love that. That’s amazing.

Cher: And with that ... Cher McAnelly and you can find me at OverChers.Tumblr.com. 

Lauren: And I’m Lauren Shippen, and you can find me at TheLaurenShippen.Tumblr.com.

Cher: This has been Dashboard Diaries. And ... 

[outtro music]

Lauren: May your anons always be loving.

Cher: Your dash always refreshed.

Lauren: Your gifs always be loading.

Cher: And your ships always canon.

Lauren: May the fics you’re reading always be finished.

Cher: And the answers you seek always in the re-blogs.Lauren: Thanks for scrolling with us!

Dark rituals, wild hunts, cannibalism, and bone alters - it's just girly stuff! This week, we discuss the second season of Yellowjackets, reminisce about 3D Doritos and give a few Eurovision updates.

Credits and transcript in our reblog. You can find transcripts for this, and every other episode, here.

Find the posts discussed in this episode in this tag!

[alecanddragons]

man i just wanna keep playing more omori, but i am also absolutely fuckign terrified to play anymore right now, BUT I NEED CONTENT.

[jarofstyles]

For sugar baby!h, maybe a blurb abt him being like, apprehensive about being spoiled at first?

Ooo yes okay I like this.

Check out our Patreon!

—-

“I don’t think I need all of that.” His hesitance was clear in his voice as he looked at the pile of clothing Y/N had him pick out. She had sat diligently on her phone, looking every time he came out to give an honest opinion on each piece.

It was a fantasy world for him. He hadn’t ever gotten to shop like this, let alone at a luxury store. Now with this new arrangement, Y/N had insisted on taking him shopping to show him a taste of what he could be having now and because she wanted him to have good clothing to wear to events and such with her. A double whammy, in her book.

The slight look of panic when he realized she was actually planning on buying all of the things she had nodded at was utterly adorable. Her walk over to him had him blinking fast, mentally trying to calculate how much this would cost her but was interrupted by a manicured hand running down his chest.

“Do you like the clothes, Harry?” She murmured, gesturing to the pile with her head. The flush on his cheeks made her smile, toying with the collar of his vintage band tee he had worn out with her today.

“Of course I do. I’m thankful for everything you’ve been doing for me. I just… I don’t want to be greedy.” His voice came out quiet, a little embarrassed. It melted her immediately, a look of concern flashing on her normally calculated poker face. Harry hadn’t asked for much at all. She had stated to take care of his student loan payments and paid off his car. Filled his fridge with groceries. Those things weren’t even a tiny chip in one of her accounts, but to him it was a big deal.

“Sweetheart…” she crooned, using her nail to trace the sharpness of his jaw. “You aren’t being greedy. Not at all. I took you out to shop. I want to buy you pretty things. I have to have you look your best at my side, don’t I? When you come to the country club or my brunch meetings, you represent me. As much as I do adore the vintage look… sometimes you need a more polished one. It just so happens that you love this brand too.” Her even tone calmed him down. This woman seemed to have that touch, that ability with him.

“I make a lot of money, Harry. More than a lot of people can comprehend. You are a worthy person to invest in. Okay? You deserve this, you deserve nice things and someone to treat you well. If you had the means, I’m sure you’d take care of people too. I don’t have many worthy people to take care of, and none of them are doing me favors the way you are.” A saucy grin lit up her face which had his face blushing. They hadn’t done too much at this point but… enough for him to know that their chemistry was off the charts.

“It’s worth it to me to spoil the man who is already making my life so much easier. And far more interesting. I’ve never been more relaxed.” It was true. The mouth she had experienced this morning had been heavenly and she had no plans on letting that tongue go anywhere. “So let’s ring these up and go to the next store. I love the Chelsea boots, but taping the hole in your toe won’t be allowed at the club. They have character but… I’m sure you want something that won’t let the rain in.”

Harry was unused to treatment like this. Never liking to rely on someone but also liking the idea at the same time. He had been working hard his whole life and now someone saw potential in him. Worth. Helping him with being able to focus on his career, though he hadn’t quite quit his one serving job yet- he just thoroughly couldn’t believe he had gotten lucky like this.

“Thank you.” He said quietly, taking her hand and pressing his cheek into it. “I will make sure you know how thankful I am in any way you want. M’just adjusting. It isn’t every day a beautiful woman spoils you.” That got a chuckle from her, thumbing over his stubbly cheek.

“It will be your every day now.”

[sanisse]

Oh my FUCK, yes yes a million times yes. Daddy Dom Elrond already owns me but Mommy Dom Celebrían does So Many Things to me too 😮‍💨 Who do they team up on with this good dom-bad dom routine?? I’ll tell you: Lindir, Glorfindel on occasion and Erestor. All men always ofc. Who else do you think they do that routine on? I think they do it with Thranduil too bc he’s a bratty sub like Celebrían

100% Lindir he’s literally the perfect sub for them as a team. I mean he’s just a sub in general. Not a dominant bone in his body. Babie boy loves to be thrown around and spanked and used like an object and Celebrían is happy to oblige him. Babie boy also can literally orgasm from praise his praise kink is THAT high. Elrond thinks he’s the cutest prettiest thing and will shower him with loads of praise (Celebrían says Elrond spoils him. Elrond does not care). Sometimes Elrond will go harder on him if Lindir asks nicely and then Lindir’s just in heaven. The mixture of humiliation from Celebrían and praise from Elrond is extremely intoxicating. Plus Elrond doesn’t mind a bit of objectification and he can be deliciously cold about it, which really just turns Lindir into a pile of goo. Double whammy: Elrond using him like a toy, completely ignoring him— makes the eventual praise even more rewarding.

Glorfindel would totally bottom for both of them but I headcannon that Elrond would absolutely love it if Glorfindel railed him. So one of two scenarios: a) Elrond and Celebrían top, but Elrond tops from the bottom and b) Celebrían doms both of them and has Glorfindel fuck the shit out of Elrond for her own amusement.

Erestor’s a difficult sub and is more of a dom. He’ll only sub for certain people (Glorfindel) but I could totally see these two topping the shit out of him (but only rarely).

Thranduil. Holy god. Hngg. I could see a situation where these three are an on and off polycule. But purely for the fun of Celebrían calling Thranduil in to help her top Elrond (she really does like watching her husband get railed). Thranduil has always given me the impression that he would be the worst sub, but I feel like this dream team might actually have a chance of breaking him. Celebrían is mean and would have no problem pushing him into subspace and smacking him around (with his full consent!!!), Elrond isn’t mean but he’s stern and patient and would have no trouble working Thranduil into a frenzy where he’s mindlessly begging to come. Thranduil isn’t patient and isn’t used to being told when he can and can’t come.

Elrond’s a professional brat-tamer. 🤷‍♀️ Thranduil is a professional brat. Match made in heaven hell

Thranduil won’t admit it but he loves these little sessions. It’s nice to have a break from being in charge for once. He has such a hard time relaxing that he probably shows up and just asks Elrond and Celebrían to destroy him so he can take a nap afterward 😂

Also yeah calling Celebrían mommy? 😳🫠🥺 imagine Lindir calling her mommy in that sweet little voice of his holy god. But just in general Celebrían wanting you to be a good little girl/boy for mommy aHahHa I’m weak