#i like to think they had a genuine friendship back then

[pbaz7]

AGAINST THE TIDE: PART NINE

paige x azzi

word count: 6.4k

A/N: Alright I’m feeling much better and I’m no longer losing my shit after CD said she wouldn’t call it an injury 🙂‍↕️. Here’s the next chapter! It’s a little rough at the beginning but just get through it trust me . Please leave live reacts if you can, I need a little extra motivation today 😭

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October 2022

For weeks after their argument, Paige kept her word. She stayed true to her role as Azzi’s best friend and was there anytime the younger girl needed her, it didn’t matter what she was doing, she was there. She did make Azzi stop coming with her to physical therapy though, and Nika had stepped in to take her place. Physical therapy always got a little too intimate when they’d ask whoever accompanied Paige to push on her knee and Paige knew that she and Azzi couldn’t handle that right now. They still spent time together–Paige helping Azzi in the gym here and there, texting during the day, hanging out sporadically, studying–but everything had changed. There were clear lines now. They didn’t flirt, they didn’t touch in ways that meant anything more than friendship. It was as though they were back to where they started, but it was painfully different.

Paige had started hanging out more with Ice, the freshman who quickly became a source of amusement for her. Ice's humor was dry and a little corny, and Paige found herself genuinely laughing more than she had since her and Azzi ended things. If that’s what you would call it. But even with Ice’s company, there were still moments when she couldn’t help but think about Azzi. It wasn’t that she didn’t love their friendship now, but it didn’t fill the large space Azzi once occupied when they were clearly more than friends.

Ice leaned back in her chair, her expression one of pure disbelief. “That’s bullshit. I refuse to believe there was a point when you and Azzi didn’t like each other.”

Paige chuckled, shaking her head. “I swear, we couldn’t stand each other. Every little thing she did annoyed me and she hated me honestly.”

Ice raised an eyebrow, smirking. “And now look at you, a full-blown simp. How the tables have turned.”

Paige rolled her eyes, though a grin tugged at her lips. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

“So how’d you two even get past that?” Ice asked, leaning forward with genuine curiosity. “Like, how’d you go from ‘can’t stand each other’ to…” she gestured vaguely, “this?”

Paige’s laugh softened, and she shrugged. “The gym, mostly. We kinda connected over basketball first. That was the one thing we could agree on. At first, we only talked about basketball—nothing else. But once we built a decent foundation of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds, we started hanging out more. It just…happened from there.”

Ice nodded thoughtfully, then shrugged. “Why don’t you just do that again this time then?”

Paige gave her a look. “We don’t need to build a foundation, Ice. She’s still my best friend.”

“Righttt,” Ice said, dragging out the word with heavy sarcasm. “Your best friend that you’re in love with, and you haven’t seen in like five days.”

Paige rolled her eyes again, though a faint blush crept up her cheeks. “We text.”

Ice snorted. “That’s not the same, and you know it.”

Paige shrugged again, a small smile playing on her lips. “It’s just… a little hard to be around each other sometimes now.”

Ice narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Why?”

Paige didn’t answer, but the grin on her face grew wider, her expression practically glowing with unspoken thoughts.

Ice groaned, throwing her head back dramatically. “Ew, dude. You’re disgusting.”

Paige just laughed, grabbing a basketball nearby and bouncing it lightly off Ice’s arm. “Shut up.”

But as the laughter faded, Paige’s expression softened, her smile dimming into something more thoughtful. “Honestly though, Azzi just needs some space from me to figure things out, and I’m trying to give her that.”

Ice tilted her head, her curiosity piqued. “Space for what?”

Paige hesitated, her fingers idly spinning the basketball in her lap. She glanced away briefly before answering, her tone careful and measured. “She has a lot of internal things to figure out before she can even think about being with me. I realized it a while ago but I don’t know if she has.”

Ice’s brow furrowed, but she nodded slowly. “That sounds… rough.”

“It is,” Paige admitted, her voice quieter now. “But she’s worth it. So I’m giving her what she needs.”

Ice studied her for a moment, then leaned back with a small smile. “Damn P, you really love her, huh?”

Paige didn’t even flinch. She met Ice’s gaze, a soft but unwavering certainty in her eyes. “Yeah, I do.”

Ice smirked, her teasing tone returning. “You’re still a simp, though.”

Paige groaned, chucking the basketball at her again, though the grin tugging at her lips betrayed her. “Shut up, Ice.”

November 2022

The next month was much harder than Paige thought it would be. Between missing Azzi and being sidelined by her injury and not being able to start the season with the team, she felt like she was drowning most days. Basketball, her usual escape, was no longer an option. Instead, she found herself in the gym, not to work out but to just sit in the silence, wishing she could push her body for hours on end. But eventually she’d get too frustrated when all she could do was shoot a few flat footed shots and she'd just let herself cry in the empty gym until she didn’t have any more energy. Other times, she’d just sit in her car, staring ahead, trying to calm her thoughts. More than once, she ended up sick at the sight of the back seat—a painful reminder of what, and who, was missing.

Azzi wasn’t doing much better. She’d become a mirror of who Paige used to be, burying herself in the gym day and night, trying to outrun her thoughts. Paige was still there for her, though, which made Azzi feel like even more of an ass, having somebody as sweet as Paige, just waiting for her to get her shit together. When things were a little too hard and Azzi would come to her door with tear stained eyes in the middle of the night Paige always let her in, let her talk about whatever she needed to or just sleep. The first time it happened was a random Tuesday at 3am.

Azzi’s knocks were gentle and tentative at first but it was enough for Paige to stir, her mind still fuzzy from sleep as the knock came again, a little louder this time. She groggily threw off her blanket and shuffled to the door, blinking against the dim hallway light cascading from the bottom of the door.

When she opened it, Azzi stood there, her mascara streaked down her cheeks, her eyes red and swollen, as though the weight of the world had poured out of her. There were no words, no explanations, just a look that said everything, Paige didn’t ask, she just stepped aside, letting Azzi into the warmth of the room. Azzi’s shoulders were trembling, but she didn’t speak, her chest rising and falling in slow uneven breaths. Paige closed the door softly behind her, then walked back to her bed, sinking back into the mattress where Azzi now laid, holding one of Paige’s pillows close.

Paige reached over, draping her arm against Azzi’s torso as she pulled her closer but not quite cuddling her. Just enough to let Azzi know she wasn’t alone as Paige’s eyes fluttered shut drifting back to sleep.

After that night Paige couldn’t imagine not being there for Azzi, knowing what she was struggling with. But things weren’t the same. They didn’t text everyday anymore, and their hangouts had all but stopped after it became clear that they didn’t really know how to be just friends anymore. The space between them, once so easy to close, now felt like an endless stretch.

Azzi blamed herself for what happened between them. She was constantly fighting an internal battle that seemed like a losing game. One part of her knew exactly how she felt about Paige, knew she wanted the older girl more than anything. The other half was a constant pull against this thought process. The part of her brain that was telling her she wasn’t the type of person who takes risks like this, she didn’t gamble her future that she had worked so hard for. Constantly in her own ear telling herself she had every right to be scared.

Now, Paige sat alone in the empty gym, her legs stretched out in front of her, a basketball resting at her feet. She knew she couldn’t play much, just dribble around and shoot here and there, so she came here to think, to feel some semblance of peace. The quiet of the gym was comforting, even if it couldn’t heal what was broken, only Azzi could do that.

The sound of the door opening broke the silence. Paige glanced up to see Azzi standing there, her figure framed by the dim gym lights. Azzi paused, stuck in the doorway. The sight of Paige, lost in thought, felt all too familiar, stirring memories of another time they’d both hesitated to bridge the distance between them.

For a moment, neither of them spoke, both caught in a whirlwind of emotions and memories. Paige chuckled softly at the irony, breaking the tension, and nudged the ball with her foot, sending it rolling toward Azzi.

Azzi’s lips curved into a small smile as she stepped inside, picking up the ball. She hesitated again, glancing at Paige, before making her way over. She sat down beside her but left enough space between them to keep the air light, uncertain. Neither of them spoke right away, the quiet wrapping around them like a truce.

Paige was the first to break the silence, her voice cutting through the stillness. “You played like shit last game.”

Azzi blinked, then burst out laughing, the unexpectedness of Paige’s comment catching her off guard. “Shit is an understatement,” she admitted, shaking her head.

Paige smirked, leaning back slightly. “What’d you come here to work on?”

Azzi shrugged, a noncommittal gesture. “Anything, I guess.”

Paige hummed thoughtfully as she got to her feet, grabbing the ball. Ice’s words from October echoing in her mind now. She spun the ball between her hands, glancing at Azzi. “Why you been taking so long to shoot lately?”

Azzi crossed her arms, tilting her head. “The passes are all over the place,” she said simply. “I got used to you hitting me in stride so it’s a big adjustment.”

Paige paused, nodding as she processed Azzi’s words. There was a quiet understanding in the air—an acknowledgment of how much they relied on each other, on and off the court.

By now, Azzi had stood up, her eyes tracking the ball as Paige passed it casually between her hands. Paige grinned. “Let’s work on it.”

Azzi raised a brow, confused. “Work on what?”

Paige laughed, her grin widening. “I’m about to throw you some of the worst passes of your life, and you’re gonna work on shooting without taking too much time to adjust the ball.”

Azzi couldn’t help but laugh at that, shaking her head in disbelief. “You’re ridiculous,” she said, but her feet were already carrying her toward the court.

Before they began, Azzi paused and looked at Paige. “I miss you,” she said softly, her voice carrying the weight of everything left unsaid between them.

Paige’s expression softened, and a small, genuine smile spread across her face. “I miss you too, Az,” she replied, her tone equally tender. Then, without missing a beat, she threw Azzi an intentionally terrible pass, the ball veering off to the side.

Azzi barely managed to catch it, quickly gathering herself for the shot, but the ball clanged off the rim.

Paige smirked. “Not bad. Now do it faster and try making it next time.”

Azzi rolled her eyes but couldn’t fight the smile tugging at her lips. They fell into an easy rhythm after that, Paige throwing increasingly awful passes, and Azzi working to shoot without hesitation. Laughter echoed through the gym when the passes were too bad to catch, blending with the rhythmic sound of the ball hitting the hardwood.

For the first time in a long time, it felt like they were back in sync—no words needed, just the game and each other.

The rhythm they had fallen into was effortless, the sound of Azzi’s playlist flowing through the speakers now as they worked on her shot. Laughter occasionally filled the gym, the tension from the past weeks melting away with every pass and shot.

That is, until the music cut off, replaced by the ring of an incoming call.

Azzi, mid-dribble, glanced toward her phone sitting on the floor. “Can you check who it is?” she asked Paige, who was closer.

Paige hesitated for a moment before walking over. She glanced at the screen, the name flashing boldly. Her jaw tightened ever so slightly, but it was enough for Azzi to notice. Paige cleared her throat. “Somebody named Elle,” she said, her tone a little too neutral.

Azzi didn’t miss the shift in Paige’s posture or the way her eyes flicked away from the phone. She didn’t need Paige to say anything; she could see the wheels turning in her head.

“It’s not what you think, Paige,” Azzi said, her voice firm but gentle.

Paige shook her head, brushing it off with a forced smile. “No, Azzi, you don’t have to explain—”

“Paige,” Azzi cut her off, stepping closer. “She’s my partner for a project. That’s it.”

Paige looked down, her fingers grazing the edge of her shirt. “It’s fine if it was something else you know,” she said softly, though the words felt hollow even to her.

“No, it isn’t,” Azzi said firmly, her voice leaving no room for doubt in Paige’s mind. “It isn’t fine because I don’t want anybody else. I only want you, Paige. I’ve told you that, and I mean it.”

Paige’s shoulders sagged slightly, guilt flashing across her face. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I know it’s not really my place.”

Azzi stepped even closer, her eyes searching Paige’s. “It is your place,” she said, her voice softer now. “So you don’t need to apologize.”

Paige glanced at her, caught in the sincerity of Azzi’s gaze. The tension in the air softened, the weight between them shifting back into something warm and steady.

“Okay,” Paige finally said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Azzi nodded, giving her a small smile. “Good. Now come back over here—I’m not done getting used to these terrible passes.”

Paige chuckled despite herself, picking up the ball. And just like that, they found their rhythm again, though the words exchanged lingered, a quiet reassurance binding them closer.

After finishing up in the gym, both of them grabbed their things and headed out. Paige made her way toward her car, expecting Azzi to follow. But when she glanced over her shoulder, she noticed Azzi strolling casually along the sidewalk.

Paige frowned, stopping in her tracks. “What are you doing?” she called out.

Azzi glanced back with a small shrug. “I didn’t drive.”

Paige’s eyes widened in disbelief, a mix of offense and exasperation flashing across her face. “You thought I was going to let you walk?” she said, her tone incredulous.

Azzi chuckled but didn’t respond, her smile widening as Paige simply muttered, “Unbelievable.”

With a grin, Azzi turned and walked toward Paige’s car. Paige muttered under her breath the whole time, just loud enough for Azzi to hear. “She’s gotta be crazy. Can’t believe she thought I’d let her walk. Who does she think I am?”

When they reached the car, Paige yanked open the passenger door, motioning for Azzi to get in. Azzi stepped in with a laugh, and Paige shut the door with more force than necessary, her irritation over something so small almost comical.

By the time Paige slid into the driver’s seat, Azzi was grinning at her. “I miss how dramatic you are,” she teased, still laughing softly.

Paige shot her a glare as she started the car. “You give me a fucking headache Azzi,” she said, but there was no bite to her words.

When they arrived back at the dorms, Paige’s suite came up first. She slowed to a stop, slinging her bag over her shoulder and turning toward Azzi.

“Night,” Paige said, already halfway to the door.

Azzi nodded but didn’t keep walking. “Paige,” she called, her voice stopping Paige in her tracks.

Paige turned back, raising an eyebrow slightly, her curiosity piqued. “Yeah?”

Azzi hesitated for a moment, then smiled softly. “I’ve been thinking…can we maybe talk tomorrow?”

Paige blinked, her confusion evident, but she nodded. “Yeah… of course,” she said, her tone cautious.

Azzi’s smile widened a little , though she didn’t offer any explanation. “I’ll text you,” she said simply.

Paige gave her a small smile in return. “Okay. Goodnight, Az.”

“Goodnight, P,” Azzi replied, her voice quiet but warm as she turned to walk toward her own suite.

Paige lingered for a second, watching Azzi’s retreating figure, her mind swirling with questions. Finally, she shook her head and headed inside, her thoughts lingering on the way Azzi had looked at her just now.

…

The next day, around 1 PM, Paige’s phone buzzed with a text from Azzi.

💗: You hungry? Let’s grab some food

Paige smiled at the message, typing a quick reply.

P 💗: Yeah that works for me

It didn’t take long for Azzi to reply.

💗: We’re taking my car.

Paige frowned slightly, shooting back a quick question mark.

P 💗: ?

The response came almost immediately.

💗: I almost threw up in your car yesterday when Steve Lacy came on

Paige let out a loud laugh, immediately understanding what Azzi was referring to as she had her own struggles being in there sometimes. She shook her head, typing back with a smirk.

P 💗: That’s dramatic, even for you

Azzi’s reply was short but effective.

💗: Not taking any chances

Still chuckling, Paige grabbed her things, her mood lighter than it had been in days. Azzi always had a way of pulling her out of her head, even with something as simple as sending a few texts.

They sat down at a corner table, the comforting hum of the restaurant around them as they ate their Chipotle bowls. The familiar, easy chatter filled the space between them yesterday being what they needed to return to the natural rhythm of their friendship, the laughter, and the simple joy of each other's company.

But, as the conversation slowly died down, Azzi looked at Paige, her expression shifting slightly.

“I want us to start over,” Azzi said quietly, her voice soft but serious.

Paige blinked, furrowing her brow. “Start over? What do you mean?”

Azzi took a deep breath, clearly trying to find the right words. “I want us to try this again, but—” she paused, trying to make sure she found the right words. “I want us to do it the right way this time.”

Paige tilted her head, her confusion evident but her tone gentle with Azzi like always. “Azzi, what are you saying?”

Azzi’s gaze was unwavering as she leaned forward slightly, the space between them feeling more intimate. “I want us to date, Paige,” she said, her voice steady.

Paige’s eyebrows furrowed for a moment before a soft, teasing smile tugged at her lips. “So... you want to be my girlfriend now?”

Azzi hesitated, her fingers tapping gently against the edge of the table. “No…at least not yet,” she said, her voice calm but firm. “I want us to go on dates and test the waters. We did things the wrong way, and I want to fix it.”

Paige’s eyes softened as a slow smile began to form on her lips. She leaned forward slightly, clearly proud of Azzi. “Tell me more about it.”

Azzi smiled at the shift in Paige’s expression, the spark of curiosity now in her eyes. “We can go on dates,” Azzi continued, her voice steady as she outlined her plan she thought a lot about. “But I’m not going to let you kiss me until we have a few dates. And we’re not going to have sex for a while, or we’re going to at least try really hard not to. I want us to get to know each other as two people dating, not just best friends who happen to be doing this.”

Paige nodded, as she listened to her. She hadn’t expected Azzi to say something like this when she asked her to lunch today, but it made sense for her. It was a different approach, one that felt like it had the potential to be something more controlled. Something more grounded. Which is exactly what Azzi needed.

“So, where’s this coming from?” Paige asked, her voice low with curiosity but also a touch of tenderness. “I thought you were—”

Azzi cut her off, her gaze soft but unwavering. “Despite what you think, Paige,” she said quietly, “I’m in love with you. These past few weeks have done nothing but show me that. I’m still scared as hell, but I want to at least try.”

Paige swallowed, her heart beating a little faster at the sincerity in Azzi’s voice. She really hadn’t expected this, she expected Azzi to try to mend their friendship, try to get back to their usual routine of hanging out. But the more Paige thought about it she understood. Azzi was always so detailed and plan oriented. She always needed steps and checkpoints to ease her mind, to let her see the progress she was making.

“I’m not asking for anything,” Azzi continued, her voice a little shaky now that Paige hadn’t said much. “I just want to start fresh. I want us to really try.”

Paige leaned back slightly, her arms folded across her chest as she processed Azzi’s words. The weight of everything that had been said, everything that had been left unsaid, hung heavily in the air. She couldn’t help but hesitate, uncertainty creeping in despite the hope in her chest.

“How do I know you’re not just going to change your mind again?” Paige asked, her voice quiet. She wanted to believe Azzi, wanted to dive into this with her, but it was hard to shake that lingering fear of being hurt again.

Azzi didn’t flinch at the question. She just looked at Paige, with a calmness that her voice conveyed when she answered. “You don’t,” she said simply. “That’s the thing I had to get over. We don’t really know what’s going to happen. That’s been my fear this whole time. Not knowing. Not being in control of it. But we never know what’s going to happen at any point in life so.”

Paige’s gaze softened, and she nodded slowly, taking in what Azzi was saying. But Azzi wasn’t done, and she shifted slightly, her hands in her lap as she continued.

“I was talking to my mom the other day,” Azzi began, her voice quieter now, but still with a hint of vulnerability. “And she tried to make me laugh by asking who shat in my breakfast. But honestly, it just made me cry more than anything.”

Paige couldn’t help but chuckle, knowing exactly how Katie could be. “Figures,” she said with a soft smile, her heart lifting slightly at the mention of Azzi’s mom.

Azzi smiled too, but the smile was fleeting, and the seriousness returned quickly. “Yeah. But... I told her everything that’s been going on. All of it. How I feel about you. About us.” She paused, her fingers nervously twisting the hem of her shirt. “Some parts of the story shocked her, honestly. I thought she was going to yell at me, but she didn’t. She just listened.”

Paige’s eyes widened a little, a surprise settling in her chest. She hadn’t expected that. For Azzi to talk to her mom about them already? It was a huge step. It made her heart skip a little—an odd mix of pride and tenderness swelling inside her knowing Azzi had come out to her mom.

“How... how did it go?” Paige asked softly, unsure of how to phrase the question but needing to know. She could sense how much this conversation had meant to Azzi.

Azzi’s lips curved into a small, reassuring smile. “It was fine. Perfectly fine, actually,” she said, her voice steady now. “I thought it was going to be hard, but... she already kind of knew. I mean, she’s not blind. She said she could tell something was going on, especially with how much time you spend at our place whenever we’re on break. She thought it was pretty obvious.”

Paige blinked in surprise. She hadn’t thought Katie would pick up on that. “Really?”

Azzi nodded, her gaze soft but thoughtful. “Yeah. She’s always been good at reading me, even when I’m not saying anything. We were talking for a while after I explained everything... she said something that kinda struck a nerve.” Azzi’s voice lowered again, a little more humor to it. “She was explaining some stupid metaphor that I could never understand, and she said life is all about taking chances. Usually, the best ones—the ones that really matter—are the ones that scare us the most.”

Azzi’s eyes met Paige’s, and there was something raw, something real, in the way she looked at her. “And you scare the hell out of me, Paige,” she said quietly, her words filled with sincerity. “So that’s exactly why I can’t just let us pass by. I can’t keep living in the ‘what ifs.’ I’ve been too afraid, and I’m tired of being afraid.”

Finally, Paige let out a deep breath and reached across the table, her hand finding Azzi’s with a gentle squeeze. “I’m scared too,” Paige admitted softly.

Azzi’s eyes softened, and she squeezed Paige’s hand in return, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m not asking for anything more than what I said. I just want to try, Paige. I want us to take it slow, to get to know each other again and see where it goes.”

Paige’s smile was small but genuine, her heart fluttering at the thought of what could be. “Okay. We’ll try,” she said, the words feeling right. “We’ll take it slow.”

Azzi’s smile mirrored hers, though it was still laced with vulnerability.

…

This is how, a few days later, Paige and Azzi were on their first date.

Azzi had initially tried to take the reins, attempting to plan every detail, but Paige quickly vetoed the idea, claiming she’d been waiting for months to make this happen. Azzi didn’t even try to argue with that logic.

Now, they were on their way to a mystery destination Paige refused to disclose, with music filling the car. The ride was easy, lighthearted, and full of laughter—until Azzi reached out and skipped another Steve Lacy song.

Paige couldn’t help but laugh, glancing over at her. “What? Are we never listening to the album again?”

Azzi shot her a glare but couldn’t entirely hide the amused glint in her eyes. “Not for a long time, we’re not,” she retorted firmly, her voice dripping with mocking distress.

Paige only chuckled as they pulled into a parking lot. Azzi’s curiosity grew as she turned her attention ahead, her brow furrowing slightly until recognition dawned. Her lips curved into a wide grin.

“You brought me to the fair?” she asked, her voice tinged with excitement.

Paige glanced at her, her own smile soft but proud. “Yeah. Dinner’s boring,” she said simply, shrugging as if it was the most obvious decision in the world.

Azzi laughed, her eyes sparkling as she shook her head. “Of course you’d think that.”

Paige leaned back in her seat, looking out at the glowing lights of the fairground. “Come on, big head,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt.

…

Their date was going amazingly. Azzi, naturally, made Paige get her a funnel cake, ignoring Paige’s protests as she tore off a piece and practically forced it into Paige’s mouth. Paige grumbled but couldn’t hide the smile tugging at her lips.

As the night went on, it became obvious that Paige was annoyingly good at everything. Every time Azzi swore Paige was about to lose a game, Paige proved her wrong. Neither of them wanted any of the prizes, so Paige made a habit of giving them away, handing stuffed animals and trinkets to random kids. The two of them would watch as the kids ran off, bouncing with excitement, leaving Azzi shaking her head at how effortlessly charming Paige could be with all ages.

Now, they were strolling through the fair, Paige’s arm casually draped over Azzi’s shoulder while Azzi leaned into her side, the warmth of the moment wrapping around them like the glowing lights of the fairground. But their quiet bubble burst when a small fan recognized Paige.

The fan approached cautiously, smiling nervously. “Hey, Paige, can I get a quick picture?”

Paige offered a warm smile. “Of course.”

After the fan snapped a picture with Paige, they hesitated before turning to Azzi. “Um, can I get one with you too Azzi?”

Azzi blinked in surprise before smiling and nodding. “Sure.”

Once the pictures were taken and the fan left with a cheerful wave, Paige’s attention shifted, her eyes catching sight of something in the distance. “Oh my god,” she muttered, her face lighting up as she grabbed Azzi’s hand.

“What?” Azzi asked, laughing at Paige’s sudden enthusiasm.

Paige didn’t answer, pulling her toward the basketball booth, where a massive Olaf stuffed animal sat on display. “It’s too good to be true,” she said, practically bouncing with excitement.

When they reached the booth, Paige handed the worker some tickets. He explained the rules, telling her she needed to make three out of five shots to win. Paige nodded and stepped up to the line drawn on the concrete.

But the worker held up a hand. “Nah, I know who you are. You gotta scoot back,” he said with a grin.

Paige laughed, stepping back as Azzi chuckled beside her. “Uh oh, the pressures on now,” Azzi teased.

Paige made the first four shots with ridiculous ease, defying the odds of the notoriously rigged carnival game. As she took her time with each shot a small crowd had gathered to watch her, but Paige was unfazed.

The worker let her take the fifth shot just for fun, even though she’d already won. Azzi, standing to the side, couldn’t resist teasing her. “You’re such a show-off,” she said, crossing her arms with a smirk.

Paige, knowing full well Azzi secretly loved it, grinned as she lined up the last shot. Without breaking eye contact with Azzi, she released the ball. The ball going in.

Azzi rolled her eyes, shaking her head with a laugh. “You’re irritating.”

Paige strolled over to the worker, who handed her the massive Olaf. Without hesitation, Paige turned and placed it into Azzi’s arms.

“This one’s yours,” Paige said with a confident grin.

Azzi looked down at the stuffed Olaf and then back at Paige, her expression softening. “You’re cute, you know that?”

Paige just smiled at her, as she felt a tap on her lower back seeing a little girl with a huge smile on her face.

After Paige and Azzi finished taking pictures with a few fans who had crowded around to watch Paige play the game, she and Azzi resumed walking through the fairground, their steps in sync. Paige’s arm once again draped casually over Azzi’s shoulder, the familiar, comforting ease of their connection returning.

They walked in silence for a few moments, but the air between them was full of understanding. They didn’t need to fill every moment with words—just the presence of each other was enough.

When they reached the car, Paige opened the door for Azzi like always. Azzi smiled, appreciating the gesture every time Paige does it, before sliding into the passenger seat. Paige walked around the front of the car, slipping into the driver’s side. She took a moment to glance over at Azzi, who was still holding the Olaf stuffie, her eyes soft but smiling.

Paige gave a small smirk as she started the engine, teasing, “You’re actually keeping it, huh?”

Azzi rolled her eyes playfully, adjusting the stuffed Olaf on her lap. “Yes, it’s Olaf. I’m keeping it.”

Paige laughed, shaking her head as she pulled out of the parking lot. The soft hum of the engine filled the silence between them as they drove off towards UConn, the glow of the fair behind them, leaving only the warmth of the moment to hold onto.

…

Long after Paige had “dropped” Azzi off following their first date, she found herself wandering into the gym. She wasn’t entirely sure why, but something about the court always drew her in. Spotting Azzi on the court dribbling, Paige couldn’t help but chuckle softly to herself.

Azzi noticed her almost immediately, stopping mid-dribble with a smile. “What are you doing here?”

Paige smirked, walking further onto the court. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Azzi shrugged as Paige closed the distance, casually swatting the ball out of her hand. Azzi laughed, shaking her head. “Ah, there’s my annoying best friend.”

Paige laughed along, saying. “Ahh, so I’m ‘best friend Paige’ right now, huh?”

Azzi nodded, still grinning.

Paige raised an eyebrow, tilting her head dramatically. “Okay then, tell me something. I heard you went on a date tonight.”

Azzi chuckled at Paige’s antics, her laughter light and easy. “I did.”

Paige dribbled the ball a few times, casually lining up a close-range shot. “How was it?”

Azzi tilted her head, pretending to consider it. “Ehh I was a little nervous at first, but I actually loved it.”

Paige glanced at her with a playful smirk. “Nervous? Why were you nervous?”

Azzi’s gaze softened as she shrugged, her voice quieter. “You know why.”

Paige arched an eyebrow, her voice teasing. “Humor me.”

Instead of answering directly, Azzi pivoted the conversation. “I went on some dates when we weren’t talking, like you suggested.”

Paige paused mid-dribble, her curiosity piqued. “You did?”

Azzi nodded, fidgeting with her hands. “Yeah... with girls.”

Paige hummed at this as she resumed dribbling, her voice casual but interested. “How were they?”

Azzi shrugged, her expression thoughtful. “They were okay. It’s not like I was trying to figure out feelings for them... more so to figure out myself.”

Paige nodded, her gaze softening with a soft smile. “And?”

Azzi smiled faintly, her tone more serious now. “They helped. The conversation with my mom I was telling you about? A whole lot easier after that.”

Paige paused her dribbling to smile at Azzi, her voice full of warmth. “I’m proud of you, Az.”

Azzi’s lips curled into a small, grateful smile, the sincerity of Paige’s words lingering in the air.

Azzi met Paige’s gaze, her tone playful yet sincere. “There’s a little more attention that comes with going on a date with Connecticut’s version of Jesus though.”

Paige burst out laughing, tossing the ball softly at Azzi, who caught it with a grin.

Azzi continued, her voice shifting to something more serious. “I was nervous at first because I knew people would recognize us—mostly you. It’s a lot of extra attention.”

Paige nodded, her grin slowly growing as she listened.

Azzi tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. “What? Why are you smiling like that?”

Paige leaned casually against the wall, her grin turning a bit smug. “You know I picked the fair on purpose, right?”

Azzi’s brows furrowed. “No...”

Paige smirked, folding her arms. “It’s far enough from campus that we wouldn’t be recognized as much, but it’s also a Thursday, which means there weren’t going to be a lot of teenagers or people our age there. Just a bunch of kids with their parents or older people. People our age would usually go on Fridays or Saturdays.”

Azzi blinked, processing the thoughtfulness behind Paige’s planning.

Paige stepped closer, her voice softening. “I picked today because I knew anyone who approached us would either be a super-excited kid or an old-school basketball fan who wouldn’t care why it was just the two of us there together. I wanted it to be... easier for you.”

Azzi was stunned, her lips parting slightly as she stared at Paige. “You really thought that far ahead?”

Paige shrugged with a casual air, though her gaze was warm. “I know you, Az. I know how hard this is for you.”

Azzi laughed, her tone light again as she tried to hide how much Paige’s words meant to her. “If you knew what I was struggling with the whole time, why’d you let me make it seem like basketball was the only thing stopping me?”

Paige’s smile softened, her voice dropping just enough to convey her sincerity. “Because I needed to give you time. It’s not a realization someone else can process for you.”

The air between them shifted as Paige leaned casually against the wall, her height slightly towering over Azzi with the way they were standing. The space between them grew smaller without either of them noticing.

Azzi tilted her head up to look at Paige, her expression soft. “I miss your eyes,” she said quietly, almost as if the words slipped out without her permission.

Paige chuckled, the sound warm and familiar. “That’s always the first thing you say to me.” Her grin widened, teasing but fond.

Azzi didn’t bother denying it, her gaze unwavering. The weight of her words lingered in the air, pulling them closer in a way that had nothing to do with proximity.

After a moment, Azzi whispered, her tone playful but with a hint of nervousness, “I’m not letting you kiss me.”

Paige’s toothy grin grew, her confidence shining through. “That’s fine.” Her voice was low, carrying just enough to make Azzi’s breath hitch.

But Paige didn’t move away. She stayed close, her presence overwhelming yet comforting, as she just took in Azzi standing in front of her.

Azzi didn’t respond, her lips quirking up just slightly. Instead, she shook her head with a quiet laugh, looking away but refusing to step back.

Paige finally stepped back, breaking the tension with a soft laugh. The sound lingered in the air, as she picked up a basketball and started dribbling casually.

Azzi rolled her eyes, grabbing her bag muttering, “I’m leaving.”

Paige’s laugh grew louder as she called after her, “See you later, princess!”

Azzi didn’t stop or turn around, but a faint smile spread across her face. She lifted her hand and stuck her middle finger up in response, a playful gesture that made Paige laugh even harder as Azzi walked out of the gym.

[sircarebearalot]

hehe my take on gelphie, specifically for the wicked movie /(2024) hehe is that Elphaba had a healthy little crush on Galinda in the beginning of their friendship— which was why she was so shocked when Galinda shared that she planned on marrying Fiyero one day— but then as they got more involved in each others lives, Elphaba let her crush go and decided to focus her energy on appreciating Galinda’s friendship. so that will also add a layer of distress when she sort of falls head over heels for Fiyero, bc she literally overcame feelings already to preserve her friendship with Galinda,. The things is, Fiyero is so out of nowhere, where they have mutual interest but not that solid groundwork of friendship, that Elphaba doesn’t really have anything to translate it to, so she’s sort of drowned by these feelings. (So like, giving strong lacy by Olivia Rodrigo, when she sings I’m not that girl bc she does find those aspects of Galinda appealing, but it’s no longer her resisting that and it’s fully her regretting that she has no actual shot again— her interpretation— and wishing she were the sort of person who could be loved and chosen back.)

also, other thoughts I had, was that when Elphaba zapped everyone to sleep except for Fiyero to save the cub, I think it was more like a subconscious, magic-driven thing. She chose the person who would break societal expectations to help her, and she did it without even knowing ot. bc remember she was a bit caught off guard by what her magic did and she was even more so when Fiyero dashed to save the creature. at the end of the day she knows Galinda, knows that she likes being popular and beloved, knows that she sort of needs it to go on being happy and fulfilled. She knows this in some deep level and that’s why she doesn’t turn to her in crisis, despite her undoubtedly being much closer to her than anyone else in the room (except was nessarose there? even then, nessa was always troubled and was outwardly burdened by her sister’s peculiarities) . and I think the reason she chose Fiyero, or her magic did, or he subconscious did, was bc at some level she knew he matched her freak (hehe excuse me) and that he did have a bleeding heart. She sensed that he had more to offer and trusted that possibility rather than the more real chance that Galinda would panic and hinder the cubs rescue, something she wanted to do and hadn’t even planned or thought of yet. but, see, Fiyero did. The second he caught on to what happened, he dashed.

The point is, Elphaba loved Galinda bc Galinda chose her and tried to give her what she always wanted. Popularity, credibility, a community where she was supported and loved and respected. Even more, accepted. And ofc she fell for the other Galinda quirks.

But when Elphaba came to the conclusion that she shouldn’t dream too far, she found true comfort and joy in Galinda friendship.

And when Elphaba made to run away from all of Oz, to live as an outlaw, obviously Galinda wasn’t going to go with her. It’s entirely in her character to want to be on the ‘good side’ of the people, even if it’s the wicked one. She didnt have Fiyeros conviction, athat not the poiny of her character, even if she had run off with Elphaba,, there’s a very real chance she would have resented Elphaba almost immediately or tried to return back to Oz. And that’s understandable bc forsaking an entire hirtosy and land for someone is an insane thing to do.

Something only Fiyero would do.

Anyways, this is a gelphie post so I’m gonna talk about Galinda in all of this. Even tho in my fic I wrote her to be self aware, I genuinely see Galinda as sort of not absorbing all her feelings for Elphaba. They are there and she knows they are importancy and valuable but she doesn’t pick at ot and try and make sense of it. Bc, in her head, if everything stays the same, she could have it all, the prince she always dreamed of, and the person she cherished above all else right within reach. In her mind, everything was going to work itself out so nothing was a problem. So, when Fiyero starts to pull away, when Elphaba seems drawn to him, and when Elphaba eventually tries to run away and take Galinda with her— Galinda freezes. She sort of tries to work with what’s left, her status, her relationship with Fiyero, and she’s trying to reassemble the perfect life she should have had, and she’s absolutely miserable, and every time she gets an opportunity to near Elphaba she takes it. She’d take it in any capacity likely.

Bc she might blame Elphaba for being difficult and not staying or choosing her, but ultimately Galinda has pushed her boundaries and challenged her own worldview for Elphaba without Elphaba asking. Like at the dance scene, where her guilt and sudden understanding of her rival/roommate moved her to risk it all— tho maybe she consoled herself later and dismissed it, claiming her popularity was never at risk— to try and comfort Elphaba and bridge the gap properly, finally. And later, when she changed her name to Glinda, it’s was bc she felt left out, like she needed to prove herself, like the people she had chosen for herself were moving on without her, amd so she made a flashy bid to catch up. And, also, think, briefly, about how absolutely devastating it must be to be so goddamn ambitious and be constantly besides the most powerful witch around. Galinda may have assured herself that her popularity would carry her through, but truly, you don’t see her ego or pride flare up much if at all around Elphaba, fully embracing that they had different strengths, and well Glinda did say that the greatest ppl weren’t necessarily competent but rather popular (wicked foreshadowing and cruelest of ironies) so that likely helped her a bunch. Ok, so, also, think about how instead of retreating or hiding or running off, when everything went to whit with the guards and flying monkeys chasing Elphaba, she followed Elphaba. Like there never really was a choice.

That just sort of shows, there was so many missed calls, so many almosts.

Glinda was tempted to go with Elphaba. She almost did— hence their duet.

Galinda could have won Elphaba’s heart, she had it, but she fell in love too late and recognized was too late. They could have been in love, it almost overlapped.

Galinda is the type of person who Elphaba could love, but not in those circumstances. It was almost perfect. Like actually, roommates, rivals, best friends, crazy codependent, opposites, they literally could have had it all. And they almost did.

But at the end of the day, Glinda wasn’t ready and Fiyero was fucking ready to go, and Elphaba had already dismissed the possibility of romance between the two of them (gelphie I mean) bc it had seemed impossible. And as much as it almost was, they never could be. Not in those circumstances, not the way it unraveled.

anywhas, this was a very long little rant to tell you I have two fics in the work for them, one that is Elphaba centric (w/ her being oblivious and trying to hold onto Galinda’s friendship) and one where they have doomed hanahaki, but Elphaba has it first and is encouraged by Madam Morrible to kill it (bc she can’t risk the star student, ofc, no nefarious reasons…lol) wnd after she removes that and all her romantic feelings, Galinda gets it shortly after when Elphaba leaves Oz and she’s just choking on all the love, waiting for the opportunity to get Elphaba alone so she can confess, make her stay and such, but then she finds out that Fiyeor and Elphaba are in love and she is forced to rid herself of the love, and so when she tells aelphabas story’, there is a cavity where all the romantic love was and she’s mourning that AND Elphaba and it’s so sad

anyways, they’re Lana Del Rey coded. look at:

‘If you dance, I’ll dance’

‘No remedy for memory’

‘Say yes to heaven, say yes to me’

‘And as all the years go by, the other woman will always spend her life alone’

‘But if you hold me without hurting me

You'll be the first who ever did’

(Hehe anyways I only used this website for one lyric but it’s so funny how they read my mind— shh don’t correct me)

[fellshish]

genuinely, how do you write for yourself fully?

while i write for myself and post what i want etc. i always get suck on feeling kinda sad afterwards cause i barely get any interactions on tumblr, which i suppose isn’t that bad, but the 50/60 hits on ao3 and only like 5 kudos make me sad. i truly don’t think my writing is awful, like it’s a work in progress especially since english isn’t my native language, but i just always find myself a bit discouraged.

i feel you, anon. it’s rough out there. and it feels so random. like sure i have worked hard on developing my writing the past few years and on kind of building an audience, but i recognise there was also a whole lot of luck involved and i still remember what it was like to receive very little kudos and feeling sad and discouraged. (i will say the feelings of self doubt etc might never fully leave, but that’s a different matter altogether).

i’ll say this: ‘write for yourself’ as a slogan is an empty one if you fully think about it. the only person who truly writes for themself is the one who never publishes (and even they might entertain some kafka fantasies of being discovered after death). the core of ‘write for yourself’ however holds some truth: if you get joy from the act of writing more than the act of receiving positive feedback, you are invincible. if you write what you want to read, and you can look back on your progress? that’s a reason to be proud of yourself, no matter how much engagement you got. you created something out of nothing, you put something out in the world that nobody had put out there before. amazing, right?

but this is fandom. it’s all about engaging, and i don’t mean that in an annoying content creatory way but as a way of human connection. a part of the joy of sharing your art, for free, is making that connection. getting that comment, that kind tumblr reblog. it’s not shameful to admit you like compliments. every fanfic author has a praise kink.

both are true: we write for ourselves and for others. we live in a society etc

now that that’s out of the way, here are my thoughts on getting more readers, more comments, more kudos, and more reblogs — which i think is the core issue of your ask.

to start quite generally: there’s been a decline in reblogging fanworks - including fics - on tumblr, and i think we bear a collective responsibility here to make this a reblogging website again.

and of course your ao3 statistics depend on how big your fandom (still) is. on how good you tag your works, too, because that’s how a lot of readers find fics. on how good a summary you write, on how popular certain tropes or pairings are that you’re into, if you use a sufficient amount of paragraphs for easier reading etc.

also, you say your native language isn’t english? neither is mine. i found it helpful to work with beta readers, some of whom have now become close friends. they improved my english and the content of my fics, and we boost each other’s works. win-win.

i’ll give you the advice i was given a few fandoms ago: engage, too. by leaving comments on other writers’ works, you can build friendships and might get them to click your ao3 name too. by joining discords and reading the fics of the writers there, or by reading a tumblrina’s fic and reblogging it with kind tags, or by signing up for a bang, by writing holiday themed fics if that inspires you, or a fic inspired by an artwork, … basically, by engaging in fandom and making friends and having fun, but also: leaving comments will sometimes mean getting comments in return, too.

to be clear i’m not saying ‘engage with other fans to get comments’. no. engage to experience the absolute joy of fandom, and more kudos / comments / reblogs etc might become a fun side effect.

[jeanmoreaue]

does kevin ever bring up jeans wellbeing in the original trilogy? I honestly can't remember. maybe I'm being unfair to kevin lol, but his attitude towards Jean in the original books kinda made the whole postcards & magnets things in tsc seem kinda ooc to me, but ig a lot can change in a few years.

thank you for bringing this up bc I have SO many thoughts on this LOL kevin brings up jean’s well-being exactly one time in the original series (unless i’m missing anything but I did just comb through the series to double check)

I always thought that kevin was a very different person prior to hand-breaking-gate and before riko really went off the deep end torture-wise. I think I’ve used this metaphor too many times at this point but it’s just so perfect lol, @allforthegayphase said one time that kevin cared for jean like you would care for a bird with a broken wing.

like I think he did care for jean at some point out of pity and out of genuine friendship, but their relationship was always very unequal and second to kevin and riko’s friendship. and now kevin can’t think of jean without thinking about really uncomfortable memories so he’s hardly thinking of jean at all.

so personally I don’t think it’s out of character that kevin would write jean letters and collect knickknacks for him while he’s off traveling and imagining jean stuck in the nest for years at a time at the beginning. I think that it implies that kevin had character arc off screen lol and he used to be rather different. (also considering jean’s pattern for falling for positive, bright people lol. I like to think kevin used to be a lot more like that)

+ going back to mentions in the og series neil’s use of “supposedly” in this quote always makes me laugh. neil’s like 🤨 they’re friends? that’s news to me bitch (presumably bc kevin has to be Convinced to even think about jean)

[lesiasmadness]

RIGHT??? RIGHT? BUT YEA I THINK THAT WAS INTENTIONAL

It was a swing and a miss on my part but up until that scene where Luke runs off to the statue I was convinced that the game was aiming for some sort of conflict between Luke and Layton, since every other event in the stroy was a hit to Layton's status as Luke's parental figure. Layton teases Luke way more in this one, brakes his promise to Flora and then proceeds to treat her coldly, runs off often, and it's not as explicit but I think Luke also picks up on his apprehension towards Big Luke, but while Layton clearly at least suspects it's not Luke at all the whole game, Luke himself believes Clive so on his side of things it looks like Layton is just critical of and not too warm towards what Luke will grow up to be. On top of that there is the first dualogue near the statue where Luke gets a glimpse at how Layton views their relationship, plus there's moments like this

Also I don't know how intentional that is but a lot of NPC interractions now involve Luke practically on his own and Layton doesn't step in where I'd expect him to. I have sincere beef with Layton for letting that one NPC be a creep towards Luke so many times in a row. I'd usually write it off as Layton believing he can't go against what a lady wants but than look at how he treats Flora.

Aaaaand a cherry on top is that people keep saying that Layton will become a terrible person and abandon Luke constantly

For the most part I thought it was a result of Layton being preoccupied with being thrust back into his biggest unsolved case and personal darkest hour of his life, that he's letting the gentle parental guide persona slip under all the stress, but after it's revealed that he knew Luke would be moving away I'm convinced that he's deliberately slowly letting Luke peek behind that shield he's put up, because Luke has to get used to being independent and acting without progessor's comstant guidance and protection, plus maybe a dose of reality will make it easier to leave the professor behind emotionally.

So what I thought was a set up for a third act breakdown between Luke and Layton, maybe even leading to Luke actually believing Layton could become his "future self", was actually a set up for their relationship to instead evolve into a more genuine friendship on more equal terms, since Layton lets Luke in on his more real thoughts and emotions, and trusts him to do his own thing, and Luke gets closer to seeing professor more as a friend and less as a guide (I had a whole thing in a different post... about how Luke writes "your friend and apprentice" in his letter at the end after never letting Layton say "my firend" when introducing Luke before...)

SO YEA I THINK HE'S GENUINELY PISSED AT LAYTON FOR BREAKING THAT PROMISE

I think he's having a moment of dissolutionment with the idea of Layton as a perfect role model that he's had in his head since the events of Last specter

I'm just leaving these two sequences here, do with them what you will while I go cry in the corner

[lucdoodle]

a lil animatic about Vox and Alastor (song: "Obsessed With You" by The Orion Experience)

[laurellala-comics]

Examples below:

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

underrated how laios finds shuros inability to communicate in a manner comprehensible to other human beings kind of exhausting and annoying

[aalghul]

i think often about how teen titans ‘03 failed from start to finish to portray a team and relationships worth investing in. were we reading about a team or 3 characters the writers liked + a cast of extras they threw around as they liked all the while not even having the favoured characters interact with each other in a worthwhile way

[darkacademiaarchivist]

i should get a shirt that says "I survived a homoerotic teenage girl friendship and all I got was this lousy t-shirt '

[prismatica-the-strange]

Nope, I'm still crying

[m0e-ru]

annual realization where this gas station’s operations and my life owe it all to visualive i’m serious

[theriverdalereviewer]

REALIZED SOMETHING CRAZY ABOUT MYSELF…

[daydreamerdrew]

The Incredible Hulk (1968) #246

[neverendingford]

.