#i like to think their ship name is Tuna

[omoriiiomrrr]

Scrutinized if it was awesome

[tunastime]

Tha asskkkkkkssss

Since we are all dying about it could I get some Songbirds and Snakes :3 *pushes our ocs together*

"it's just how I remember..." / watching the rain fall (1134 words) (x)

Rain patters against the clay and wood roofs. Sheltered in the small patio alcove of their second story room, Archleah watches, the cool, wet air blowing across their face. The city, if one could call it such, was quiet aside from the rain and small chatter below, clear aside from the wafts of smoke that occasionally broke through the grey, late-afternoon air. In the breeze, the plants at their feet in their clay pots and the trees and the kept vines on balconies blow gently and soak in the much needed rain of early spring.

Archleah sighs a calming breath. In that same breath, they feel a tingling up from the base of their spine to the nape of their neck, hair standing on end. They shiver, swallow, turn with a confused expression.

The Serpent raises his eyebrows, smiling with their eyes as they squint. He blinks at them like a contented cat, tilting their head just so. As they wander quietly to the banister beside them, Arch turns their eyes back to the horizon. Warmth shudders up the space where electricity skipped across their back and shoulder blades. Magic—locate person, maybe.

Without the mask of the Serpent, the broken skew of their jaw is much more pronounced, casting an interesting silhouette as Archleah looks him over. If they forgot themselves, they could almost call it knightly—saintly, that helm. Thunder rumbles, low and basey, in the distance.

"Fancy seeing you," Archleah hums, leaning against the wooden banister of the curving porch. The rain has just started to make muddy footprints in the back garden of this hostel, where nobody can quite recognize their face. Dressed in loose, soft clothing, the normal, stately form of the Scarlet Magpie has been reduced to that of a mere traveler, with a well-used breastplate and well-burnished axe. What was it that a friend had said one time? Right. They were just Archleah. "I would have dressed appropriately if I knew you were coming."

"I'm not allowed to visit you unannounced?" they hum, tilting their head. His eyes, that deep, two-lidded gold, stay stuck on the horizon above the tile roofs, potted plants, black gravel streets. Archleah watches his jaw work as he seems to drag his tongue over the front of his teeth, tasting air.

"I like to make a good impression," Archleah says, leaning into their palm. "As your charge it's my duty."

They smile, letting their features soften as they watch the side of the Serpent's face. His eyes slide over as he seems to feel the gaze on him, and as quickly as their eyes meet, they narrow into slits.

"Cheeky," he grumbles, frowning. "I don't know why you like to watch so much. Or what. What are you seeing with those bird eyes?" The Serpent leans suddenly scrunching his nose as they meet face to face, snake-like eyes flicking over their expression. They grin, resisting the urge only just to knock their foreheads together. 

"Trying to figure out what you're doing here in this town in the feywild," they shrug, not backing down from the eyes of their steward on them. Seemingly satisfied with their answer, he draws back, casting their gaze back to Archleah as a whole, shrugging slightly.

"Touche."

Archleah snorts, the easy smile of before still lingering on their face. It feels easier than not to carry it most days, throw it around at every funny quip or interesting thought. What a funny thing the Serpent could be. And they didn't even know it half the time. 

“Just having some quiet time,” Arch says.

They let their eyes wander back to the rooftops as the Serpent falls silent. The rain makes puddles in the creases of the roofs, catching in carved wooden gutters and funneling down into rain gardens below, thin layers of gravel and sand and pea-stones, well rooted plants and shrubs drinking in the extra rain. The air smells and tastes like stone soaking in lakewater, like grass stretching for its own drink of rain. They take a long breath in, smelling petrichor. The Serpent makes a small sound in the quiet, leaning their folded arms against the banister. 

"The rain is just how I remember," they say softly. Arch raises their eyebrows. 

"Yeah?" They ask. When the Serpent hums in the back of their throat in response, Archleah smiles, leaning against their palm, chin in hand. "Tell me about it."

"Do you want to hear?" The Serpent says, tilting their head. 

"Yeah, of course," Archleah says. They straighten, taking in another long, deep breath of wet air. They can feel it in the back of their throat as they watch the roofs with their hands on their hips. It was the greatest comfort the forest could offer—even the sticky heat welcomed them like an embrace, reminding them of home. "Why don't I put on the kettle?" 

They turn back to the door. In the same movement, they catch the eye of the Serpent, slitted, yellow eyes following them as they move, as they pull their hair back from their face. They blink, owlish, studying the Serpent's expression. Even with a crooked jaw and a furrow to their brow, he looks at them with a softening, pleased look so right for his face. At least, as pleased as someone like the Serpent, like themselves, could offer. It always had a touch of his rueful nature, no matter the occasion. It’s one of the things Archleah liked the most about him. It was predictable.

“What?” they ask, trying to hold back a grin. “What’re you staring at me for?” 

The Serpent shakes their head. “Nothing,” they say. “Just… thank you.”

Archleah shrugs, just the smallest movement of their shoulders up and down, almost imperceptible if someone isn't watching close enough. The Serpent scrunches his nose, turning back to the cool rain, shoulders sinking as he watches. Archleah studies them for a moment, the way they relax, sink against the banister as they let their weight burden the railing. Arch tucks the stray hair behind their ears, opening the door into their small, warm room.

“You’re welcome,” they say, an affection coloring their tone. “I’ll bring you out a cup, hm? Then you can tell me.”

The Serpent nods. Curled over their elbows and against the dark wood of the landing, they look smaller than Archleah has ever felt him be. It’s a slightness that comes from knowing the person behind the facade of a god.

“Do you mind bringing me a coat?” The Serpent asks. Archleah hums.

“Of course, my serpent,” they say. They don’t see the Serpent smile and crush their cheek into the curve of their own shoulder, but Archleah sure feels the warmth curl in their chest like two hands cupping their heart. Thank goodness someone’s holding it carefully.

[atherea]

little eugene/raebin sc redraw wip

if ykyk

also help what are the fandom ship names PLS

[waywardxrhea]

Tuna-Tober Day 4 - Bucky Barnes

pairing: Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier x fem!Reader

prompt: "This isn't you."

word count: 1,127

content: dead dove, angst, gun use, main character death. There is no happy ending. Hurt, no comfort. Read at your own risk. You are responsible for your own media consumption.  

You stood in front of the lab hood that held a new piece of espionage tech that you had started working on a few months ago. It was in the final stages and just needed a few more adjustments before it was ready to be tested by Peggy. She was the only one you would trust to test the quality of your invention. Since you were recruited to work at SHIELD at its inception, you had worked on many projects alongside Howard Stark, but this one was one of the first that you worked on completely by yourself, and it was arguably your finest invention. 

Heading to grab your notebook off of your desk to jot down some more notes for Peggy to use once she was testing it, you heard a ruckus down the hall and what sounded like gunshots. Furrowing your eyebrows together, you started creeping toward the wall, but just as you did, a hand reached out and pulled your heel out from under you! 

You tumbled to the ground and grabbed for the small weapon hidden in your skirt’s pocket before realizing that the person who had pulled you down was Howard. “What did you do that for?!” you whisper-shouted at him as he held a finger to his mouth to hush you. 

“Whoever that is, is after you!” Howard told you in a hushed tone with wide eyes. 

“What do you mean after me? For what?” you asked, feeling your heart begin to pound in your chest. 

“I don’t know! Someone called my desk and all I could hear was the background of the call. Whoever it is was asking about where to find you!” he told you. Scrambling up onto unsteady feet, Howard started ushering you toward the back of the lab, saying, “We need to get you out of here! If we go out here and into the-”

Before he could finish his sentence, the main door to the lab burst open and revealed a man with overgrown hair and a black mask covering the lower half of his face. He wore what looked like old military tactical gear that had one sleeve ripped off to reveal a silver metal arm with a red star on it. And held in the hand of that silver arm was a gun that was pointed right at you. “Get outta the way!” Howard shouted while roughly pulling you out of the bullet’s path as the man pulled the trigger. “What do you want with her?” he asked sharply as he stood with an arm in front of you protectively. 

The man didn’t say anything, only made his way directly to your desk and grabbed your notebook off of the wooden surface. While he surveyed the desk’s contents though, a framed picture caught his eye and he hesitated as he brought the book closer to himself. You noticed this slight hesitation and furrowed your eyebrows, thinking to yourself, That was odd…

As the man in the mask looked up and made eye contact with you though, you realized why he hesitated. You knew those blue eyes anywhere. “Bucky?” you whispered, a tremor in your voice as you were forced to come to the realization that the man in front of you who shot at you only moments before was the man you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The man who you were told was dead. The man who was featured in that framed picture on your desk. It was taken at the Stark Expo before he was shipped off to fight in the war. You were both beaming at the camera and had your whole lives ahead of you. But everything changed when he went to fight for the country. 

“My name’s not Bucky,” the man responded instantly, a coldness in his tone that you only ever heard him speak about Steve’s father in. 

“That…that’s the Winter Soldier…” Howard whispered as he pulled on the fabric of your blazer to try and get you to move away from the threat in front of you. You had heard of the assassin before, of course. He was credited with the killings of some of the best minds in the intelligence community. And now he was after you… Your blazer was tugged at harder as Howard said in a firmer tone, “We gotta go! Now!” 

You stood frozen to the ground though as you held eye contact with the assassin in front of you. “Howard… It’s him. It’s Bucky…” you said breathlessly. 

There was another sharp tug as Howard snapped, “That is not Bucky! He is here to kill you!” 

Ignoring your friend’s pleas, you slowly put your hands in the air before taking a cautious step toward the masked man. “This isn’t you,” you told him. Nodding your head toward the picture, you said, “That is you. James Buchanan Barnes.” A sad smile made its way onto your face and a tear escaped your eye as you continued. “The real you is the man who was gonna marry me, remember? We had a venue picked out and everything. You were gonna get Steve to officiate. We were gonna move to the suburbs and have a white picket fence once the war was over. Three kids and a couple of pets. We were gonna have a long and happy life together, Sugar.” 

A quiet sob left your mouth as you grappled once more with the fact that your life turned out nothing like you expected. Howard whispered your name in warning, but you ignored him again and held your gaze with the man in front of you as you finished with, “That man is still in that handsome head of yours. I saw your hesitation when you looked at that photo. Now please, put down the gun. We can try to help you. Please. You’re the love of my life, Bucky. I can’t lose you again.”

As you finished your plea, something was spoken into a piece of technology he had in his ear and his eyes shifted from the comforting blue that felt like home to something as cold as ice before he said, “You’re my mission.”

A single gunshot rang out and you dropped to the floor in a lifeless heap, blood pooling under your body in an instant. Howard let out a scream in horror as he rushed to your side. Without an ounce of remorse in his body language, the Winter Soldier sauntered over to your lab hood and grabbed what he came for. To the soldier, you were simply another target he was assigned by HYDRA. But deep in his mind, to Bucky, you were his world. And you were dead because of him.

[akwolfgrl]

LFT PART 43

They all sat on the drying deck after escaping Loguetown, except Sanji who got up to make snacks/lunch for everyone. Sanji's cat crawled into his lap making itself comfy kneading at his leg. He felt eyes on him. He looked up to see Usopp's confusion, Luffy was just staring at the cat maybe with hunger? And Nami was cooing at the cat.

“Ummm when did we get a cat?” Usopp asked.

“Zoro got it for Sanji as a courting gift, while an odd gift. I suppose though it would be useful, they are considered to be good luck,” Nami explained. “Luffy he's not to be eaten, Sanji would be very hurt if you ate his pet,” she wanted their captain.

She had a point unfortunately, he was looking at the little black cat as if he would make a nice snack. Zoro stroked the cat's back, it arched under his hand purring.

“Fine, can I touch him?” Luffy asked, reaching out a long arm.

“Sure, if he lets you,” The cat would just do whatever it felt like doing, sometimes they were friendly and other times they were selective about who they would allow to touch them.

The cat reached out with one paw to bat at Luffy's hand. Luffy wiggled his fingers causing him to go after the rubber digits with both paws standing on his back legs as he attacked their captain.

“Awwwwww he's so cute!” Nami cooed.

“Look at him go! So ferocious you get those fingers kitty cat!” Usopp cheered the cat on.

Luffy laughed and continued to wiggle his fingers as the cat made little growls as it batted away until he took a worng step and tumbled out of Zoro's lap. He got up with his back arched, fur standing straight up. He lets out a soft chuckle as the cat begins to hop sideways towards Luffy.

“Jungle cat vs rubber, who will win!?” Usopp began to narrate as the scene began to unfold.

The cat countired to attack luffys hand as luffys hand incited the cat into action. The cat warped its paws around Luffys wirst and kicked its back paws agaist his arm and bit at luffys fingers not drawing blood. Both luffy and sanjis cat were having a great time.

“Lunch time! I made sushi and cocktails! Also Luffy like I promised for not eating Mt fish you made you seared tuna steaks eatch one a different seasoning,” Love cook came over Laden with trays. He eve had one a top his head. “Luffy the top is yours,”

“Yosh!” Luffy stopped playing with the cat a reached for the plate on Sanji's head. He imditly shoved a steak in his mouth. “Oooo it's kinda sour and lemony! I like it!”

“Hey shit-cook, I think you burned one,” Zoro pointed to the next one Luffy was swolling whole.

“I most certainly did not, it's call blackened it's a type of seasoning,” He responded handing Nami an orange looking cocktail with a sparkly looking peel. “For you my dear it's a screwdrive granshised with a candy minka peel,”

“Ooo,” Nami took a sip. “Mmm delish thank you sanji,”

“You welcome Nani swan,” Zoro watched as he passed out the other cocktails. “Usopp this is a Pina colda, luffy a blue lagoon. And for the moss a sake bomb,” Sanji handed him a glass of beer with chopsticks and a sho glass of sake on top. Zoro pulled the chopsticks away and the sake shot feel into the beer. “Eat up!” Sanji placed the large platter of sushi on the ground int he middle of everyone takeikg a small plate of just raw fish. “Mr. Noodles here kitty,” Zoro snorted into his drink luckily not spilling a thing. The cat now dubed Mr. Noddles imidlty ran to sanji and the fish.

“Mr. Noddles?” Nami questioned while Luffy laughed his ass off. “What kinda name is that?”

“What's wrong with the name? I think it's cute, and its to late to change it I've made up my mind,”

“But why food?”

“I'm more worried about if the cat, Mr. Noddles is even gonna be safe!” Usopp worried.

“why wouldn't it be?” Zoro asked. “the lady said it was a good gift for a ships cook,”

“Zeff had one, her name was Clementine. She even went to the grand line with them; she only recently died of old age. She was almost thirteen years old, she lasted longer than Zeffs crew who all drowned in a strom,”

“Yah Usopp the cat will be fine,” Zoro used his chopsticks to take some sushi before Luffy ate it all.

“Mr. Noodles is our new member!! We need to have a party!” Luffy declared before shoveling sushi in his mouth.

[firstdivisiongirl]

Wait, We Have a Talking Cat?!? (Shanks x Fem Reader)

@kazenomegaminowanpisu ask for shanks x fem reader and that fem reader adopts a magical cat. I got my inspiration for my sassy magical cat from Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I wanted a really sassy cat and Salem was the sassiest! Well, I hope you like it and thanks for the request my friend!

Being the only girl on the Red Force could be lonely.  Yes, you were with Shanks.  He was the best boyfriend ever, but you know what they say.  Boys will be boys.  And boy, did those boys live by that phrase.  “Hey Shanks,” you asked one night while laying with him in bed, “can I get a cat?”

He looked over at you puzzled.  “I mean sure Y/N but why?”

You sighed, “I used to have a cat as a kid named Bingo and I loved that cat.  I think it would be fun, plus I’m the only girl so I’d be nice to have a companion that isn’t a grown man.”

Shanks looked at you.  His gray eyes looked into your (e/c) ones.  He caressed his lovely girlfriend’s right cheek with his hand. “Then on the next island you can go adopt a cat.  I’ll tell the boys now.  It’ll be like we have Uta back!”

“Are you comparing your own daughter to a cat?  Why?”

“Both can be adorable but will rip your head off when angry.”

“Oh god,” you laughed while rolling your eyes.

***

When you reached the next island, you headed straight for the shops, while Shanks and the rest of the crew headed to the bars.  You saw one little pet shop called “Ms. Crystal’s Pets and Magical Goods”.  You walked inside and it was not like any shop you had ever seen.  The walls were a dark maroon shade while all the lighting was fairy lights or pendants that looked like stars or moons.  The shelves were lined with not only pet toys and pet food, but also small little trinkets.  You approached the old orniet oak counter where a sweet looking old woman stood.  “Hello dear,” she said with a smile, “what can I help you with?”

You smiled back, “I’m looking for a cat.  Do you have any?”

“Of course.  And I know just the right one for you.”

She disappeared into the back, while you awaited your new little furry friend.

***

“So he lost his arm saving my namesake,” your cat Luffy asked you.  The sweet old lady at the pet store told you that this cat was special, it had magical powers.  Besides talking, he could also create objects out of thin air, which came in handy when you ram out of important materials and supplies on the ship.  Everyone knew about Luffy’s powers on the ship, everyone except Shanks.  All the other boys found out when Luffy accidentally started talking to them about giving him a pet.  Benn Beckham’s came when he asked him what Benn was short for: Benjamin, Bennet, Benedict, Bennifer.  Luffy talked in front of Shanks, but he was drunk and thought he was seeing things.

“He did lose it saving Luffy,” you replied, “Luffy is a devil fruit user and was drowning so Shanks went in and saved him, but a Sea King ate Shanks’ arm.”

“So my name sake is an idiot?”

“No, he was seven and was thrown into the water.”

Luffy laughed.  He was definitely a sassy cat, but you were just as sassy.  “Well, I’m hungry, so I’m getting a snack.  Do you want anything?  Tuna? Maybe a devil fruit like the other Luffy?  Then you can go for a swim.”

“I’d love one…wait, are you trying to kill me?  Never mind you can’t live without me,” the black cat said, putting emphasis on me.

“Tuna it is then.” you laughed walking out of the room to the kitchen.

A few moments later someone walked into yours and Shanks’ room.  Luffy spoke up, “I hope you brought me the nice tuna from the blue can, and not that garbage kind in the red one.”

There was no answer.  Luffy looked up and noticed a surprised Shanks, grey eyes wide open. 

“Oh crap,” the black cat said with his emerald green eyes wide in shock.

When you return from the kitchen you notice your main man and your magical cat staring at each other.

“When were you going to tell me our cat talked? Does the rest of the crew know?” Shanks asked, grabbing your shoulders, staring at you in complete disbelief.

“All the boys know. Luffy’s talked to you a lot, but you’ve been really drunk,” you laughed.

“I was also the one who created that necklace you bought Y/N for her birthday,” Luffy interrupted.  Shanks stared at the cat and then at you.

“He creates objects too!  Oh my god I love this cat. What else can you do Luffy?”

“That’s about it but don’t ask me to make you a new arm.  I like you, but I tried that once with my old owner.  Now she has an extra leg.”

“Awesome.”

“You’re not mad about the cat?” you asked.  You were scared that he would want you to get rid of the cat since you never told him.

He smashes his lips into yours.  “Of course not.  Even if Luffy wasn’t a cool magical cat and instead hated me, I’d let you keep him.”

You kissed him on the cheek and said, “I love you Shanks!  If you excuse me, I’m going to go get water.”

“Love you too,” he answered back.

He sat with Luffy for a few seconds in silence until his new favorite feline asked, “So Beckham, does Benn stand for Benjamin or Bennifer?”

Please do not copy, modify, translate, or repost my writing on other platforms. Comments, reblogs or likes are highly appreciated!

[previousloversandmuses]

FREQUENCY: Episode 1 - A Soldier Boy Story

FREQUENCY: A Soldier Boy Story

EPISODE 1: “Frequency”

WORD COUNT: 5,118

PAIRING: Soldier Boy X Reader

WARNINGS: (NSFW) Mentions of suicide, mental illness, rape, and self harm. Foul language. Mentions of sex, or sexual innuendos. 

A/N: This story is dark, and covers mature themes. The main character, as well as other major characters, are offensive in nature, and may offend some people. Please peruse with caution, and remember that this is fiction. Reader discretion is advised. Please message me for any questions, comments or concerns. 

This is introductory, we do not meet Soldier Boy just yet. Please excuse any grammar or spelling errors.

Masterlist

I was pumped full of V at Vought Laboratories when I was born. My mother took a thousand dollar bribe for some dope in exchange for her newborn daughter. They placed me in a NICU unit, hooked my veins up, and hoped for the best. 

The scientists were worried at first. I showed no physical symptoms of compound V. There were no laser eyes, no fire aura, no electricity flowing from my fingertips. They kept their tabs on me. Ran test after test. Colic. They said I had colic. I cried over everything. There was no consolation. They thought I was a lost cause. Ready to pretend like this test subject never existed. A late term abortion ex-utero. Thank God a few of the doctors started catching on. 

It was door slams. Creaking floors. Burners boiling. Cleaning supplies. Microwave lunches. Music from a few floors down. The overhead lights. Open windows. High blood pressure. A baby crying. Tuna fish sandwiches. Bleh. Spoiled milk. Fireworks. Gunshots from the Police Academy in upstate New York. Ship horns. Cigarette smoke. Low blood sugar. An earthquake in Siberia. Nuclear detonation testing in the Pacific ocean. Car horns. Rush hour. 

See, they didn’t notice my abnormalities because they weren’t seen by the naked eye. They weren’t paralyzing mind tricks. Compound V took every ounce of my five senses and shot them up with gasoline, tequila, adrenaline, cocaine. A high voltage defibrillator to my nervous system. As if my sinuses were stapled open. As if my eardrums were plucked out by tweezers. I heard everything, even with my ears plugged. I saw everything, even with my eyes closed. I tasted everything, even with my mouth shut. I was everything, everywhere, all at once, and for an infant, that can be overwhelming. 

As I grew older, I was still kept in the lab until they were fully aware of my capabilities. Until they had studied every strand of DNA in my body. 

I didn’t have super strength, I didn’t have superpowers. They made sure of that. One time they strapped me to a chair, sticking ekgs on my chest. I passed out before they could even run a test. I could never stand velcro. 

Frequency is what I was called. My supe name, at least. They called me Freaq for short. Which I guess if you think about it, isn’t really a lie.

My hearing was my most valuable asset. What’s this radio frequency? They’d ask. Can you make out the voice in this? Is this a bomb or just a backpack? Listen in on this meeting. I need collateral. We have to know everything that’s said. Is this person lying? Is that person lying? Keep in mind, these were the tasks I was given at around six or seven. It was easier for them then too because I was so small. I would slide into the air vents and stay as quiet as I could, absorbing as much information as possible. I’d spew it back to them like a pawn.

Teen years the work really started. They’d be strong in their threats to others. People would get hurt. People would have their lives ruined. I’d spy on them for weeks, getting all the information I could. Listening in on their most intimate conversations. Their most profound, and personal moments. I’d spew it all back to Vought. And they’d use what I’d told them as collateral.

Thanks to my hearing, thanks to my sight, I was able to snipe better than any experienced veteran. I never even needed to use the scope. For the most part I would snap my fingers, or click my tongue, and sense the vibration of the objects around me. I’d shoot whatever I needed to right between the eyes. Everytime.  To this day I still can't get the sound of hot, metal rounds, piercing through brain matter out of my head.  Me stealing the life of a defenseless victim who unluckily got caught up in the mess. Even when I plugged my ears, screaming, nothing kept me safe from the deafening silence from their no longer beating heart. I was never caught. 

I had been cursed. By God? By Vought? Who knows. Mothers mourning the loss of their stillborn child. Smelling the cancer in people who walked by me on the street, on the way to pick up their young child from school. Gang violence. Break ups. A father beating his son to a pulp for not taking out the trash that day. Suicide. A young woman, screaming, begging for him to stop. This takes a toll on a young kid. No one should be forced to listen to the struggles of others, we have enough to deal with on our own. Hell, I’m sure if I focused hard enough, I could've heard the sound of my mother crying out to me, sullen and alone, from her perch on a rundown curbside. 

I had lost it, as expected. Cutting, acting out, pathetic suicide attempts. It got bad enough to where they had to isolate me off somewhere in Appalachia. Somewhere I could enjoy the peace and quiet. The nurturing lull of nature. Waterfalls, and animals, and the rustle of trees in the Eastern winds. Native music, and arts and crafts underneath a big, red harvest moon. I could see every crater out that far in the mountains. There was no light pollution. That was always the best part. If I looked hard enough, sometimes I could see Saturn's rings without a telescope. Of course they’d still call my handlers whenever they needed me, they weren’t that concerned for my wellbeing. But hey, at least I no longer had to deal with the sounds of the city on my off days. 

I had learned to resent Vought, which is understandable, and honestly a given. I mean what did they expect? I was cursed, to say the least. Every day was torture, and unpredictabe, even when I was all the way out in West Virginia. Some nights I’d hear a distant shotgun fire, and torpedo into the heart of a beautiful buck, with a sleepy, quiet family waiting for him a few hundred yards away in a clearing.

I wanted nothing more than to watch these people crash and burn. To listen to each and every one of them take their last breath. The only deaths I could, or would ever enjoy. The sweetest sound I’d ever heard. I could get off to it. And I would surely avenge that. That was a promise. 

After I turned eighteen I did end up getting a place back in the city. Which is where I am now. I cope with the overstimulation in my desperation for revenge. A desperation so wild and intense I would do anything. I would do absolutely anything to get what I want. 

The Homelander would tour the labs after his graduation every once and a while as I was growing up. He’d be intimidating. Stiff, and brooding. No one would ever amount to the power he held. None of us would ever become the specimen that he was. I’d look up at him with innocent, wide eyes. His body always sounded different than everyone else's. His organs moved with a horsepower. It was like his body took diesel. No one's insides ever sounded like his. I could feel the vibration of his cells dividing from half a mile away. He was so enchanting to a little gifted girl like me.

“What’s this one?”

“Heightened senses, Sir.”

“All five?”

“Yes. We find her hearing very promising.”

He had hummed in response. Staring back at me with an emptiness I’d get to know very well. He had only gotten worse since then. 

After I had moved back to New York, Vought would still use me on occasion, but for the most part they just saw me as damaged goods. I was invited to parties, and events multiple times, and got paraded around like a fucking circus freak. Advisors would bestow me upon rich donors. “Ooh, let me stand across the room! I want you to guess what I’m saying.” I’d shake my head. There was no “guessing”. It was a stupid game if you ask me. They could have stood twenty miles away and it still wouldn't be much of a challenge. 

I had felt him before I heard him.

“Repetitive, huh?”

I didn't even have to look at the donor across the room to know he was saying "orange". He had the audacity to whisper too. Your money paid for this, I thought. Don’t you have a little faith in me being more than a party trick?

“Yes, actually.” I said, turning around to see the symbol of patriotism.

“I didn’t know you had moved back to the city.”

I looked at him with the same eyes I did all those years ago, and he still stared back at me just as broken.

“Yeah, I’ve been here for a few months now.”

He placed a hand on my lower back. My skin tingling from the brush of his augmented fingertips. He walked me over to one of the large windows that overlooked the skyline. I had worn a tight dress, which he had taken notice of. 

“You’re not so little anymore.”

I had laughed at that. 

“If I’m honest I can’t remember the last time I felt like it.” 

He looked at me with a gleam of recognition. Realizing we weren’t so different. Sure, he could break my spine if he clapped too hard, but we were both stripped of the innocence we so desperately needed. John and I were never friends, we were just two children starved of loving parental affection. 

And now, a few years later, I sit perched on his lap. My legs falling off either side of his sturdy frame. His hands don't touch me. But he is smiling softly. His eyes glazed over and heavy. His nose rubs mine as I whisper to him. My hips moving up and down on the heat of his crotch. 

“Do you like what I’m wearing?” 

He tilts his head down, his thumbs sliding across the trim of my black lace underwear. He hums, a goofy smile spreading across his face. 

“I do,” I brush my lips against his, his teeth catching on the skin of my cupid's bow. “Although, I can’t help but think there is an ulterior motive here.”

My eyes shoot open, glaring at him. He's still smiling at me. 

“I needed you…” I’m an awful liar. 

He takes a deep breath in through his nostrils. Placing two big hands under my ass while he fixes his posture on the chair. He cradles the back of my head, lacing rough fingers into my hair. Pulling me back until I’m looking him in the eyes.

“What do you want?” He asks plainly. I sigh, rolling my eyes, trying to pry myself out of his grip. “You know this doesn’t work on me.”

He pulls me tighter, my hair follicles hanging on to my scalp by sheer luck. I whimper, the feeling knocking the breath out of me for a second. 

“You come up here to see me, of all people, wearing this pretty little get up.”

He uses his other hand to pull my lower half closer into his, wrapping his arm around my waist. My ribs could turn to dust under this vice grip.

“You know what I’m here to ask for.”

“We’ve been over this so many times now.” He tsks at me. “Tell me what’s in it for me, and I’ll consider it.”

I glare at him. This routine is like clockwork by this point. I come to him with a plan for revenge and he shoots me down everytime. I know he agrees with me, I know he wants it just as bad as I do, but this is his leverage. He can be so fucking evil. 

“Does the idea of getting back at these people not give you a hard on?”

He laughs at me, releasing his vice grip. I pull myself off of him, walking over to my jeans discarded on the floor. 

“Now why would I, of all people, want to get back at Vought?”

I pull my tight jeans up, one leg at a time. He walks over to me, looking down as I button my pants.

“You would be fine without them. Fuckin’ buddhist monks have your photo up at shrines in the himalayas for Christs sake.”

I walk past him, grabbing my shirt from off the ground. He slaps my ass as I pass by.

“I’ll think about it.” He suggests. I roll my eyes- he won’t. 

I pull my hair out of the neckline of my shirt. He stands in front of me, his gloved fingers pulling out my necklace. He adjusts it so the clasp is back where it needs to be. I look up at him through my lashes.

“Just the scientists that worked with Vogelbaum.” I whisper.

He brings his hand up to my chin, pinching it with his thumb. He places an out of character, gentle, chaste kiss to my lips. 

“...And Stan Edgar, and all the other top Vought executives…” He teases.

“No!” I pout.

“Yes,” He taunts. “And last time I checked you are perfectly capable of taking these people out all by yourself, one at a time, without ever getting caught.”

He's trying to pull it out of me. He knows why I need his help. He’s so smug. He wants to hear me say it. 

“Why do you really want my help?” He torments. 

I sigh, moving to grab my purse from off the chair in the corner of his living room. He stops me, gripping my wrist tight into his hand. I glare at him. Anything but this, I think. I would never beg him for anything…but I do.

“The gala…in the Summer,” I mumble, defeated. “Everyone will be there, even the scientists.”

“Ah, yes, the gala. Being applauded for their efforts in the creation of Temp V.” He smiles. “That wasn’t so hard was it?”

I shake my head, making my way back over to his front door. He doesn’t stop me this time, too satisfied in his successful grilling. 

“One of us has lasers for eyes, John, and it’s not me.”

“Why would I want to ruin my own party?”

Before I leave I turn to him, pointing my finger. My eyes welling up with tears. Why does he do this? Hes been fucked over by Vought more than I have.

“All of them are going to be there at the same time. In the same building. We could end this, we could fucking destroy these monsters, once and for all.”

He glowers at me.

“Compound V made me a hero.” He argues.

“Compound V made you despicable,” I counter. “You’d finally be a real man without them.”

I open the door, him tripping at my heels.

“Vought made me a God.”

“Made you a sad fuckin’ excuse for one. Come find me when you grow a pair of balls.”

I slam the door in his face. 

I met Billy Butcher at a speakeasy a little over a year ago. He was downing a bottle of whiskey at the bar. It was only 2PM. 

“William, I’m assuming,” I reached my hand out for a shake. “A little early for the bottle don't you think?”

He looked down at my gesture, ignored it, then slammed his booze back on the counter. 

“Freak, I'm assuming?” He had added an obnoxious emphasis to the ‘K’.

I nodded, pursing my lips. Extending my awkward, unshook hand back into my pocket. 

He reeked, and I mean, reeked. His insides had smelt like a nuclear bomb had gone off. His liver was already in the later stages of decomposition, to say the least. His eyes were sunken in, and dark around the edges. Irritated too. Like he'd been rubbing them raw. 

I took note of his entire presence, leaning over to the left a tad to take in all sides of his bloated, depressed body. I looked closer. His right ear was oozing what looked like old blood. It was black, like tar. It didn’t smell like blood though. It was pungent and harsh, almost similar to ammonia- radiation, maybe? The nuclear bomb inside him, I considered. 

“You have black rot coming out of your ear,” I stated plainly. He had reached his hand over to wipe it. “It’s disgusting, whatever it is. I’ve never smelt anything like that before. You should really think about getting that checked out.”

He ignored me, picking up a napkin, and wiping his tar-coated hand on it. 

“Let's get down to business, ey?” 

“Alright.” I added. Breathing through my mouth wouldn’t have helped either, I thought. 

“Me and the boys are going to Herogasm.”

“Congratulations. I’d recommend cleaning those ears out before you go.” I said, unimpressed. 

He rolled his eyes, then looked around the room. No one was in there besides a bartender, and an old man asleep at a rounded booth. He leaned in closer to me. 

That's when I caught it- a familiar scent. I couldn’t put my finger on it. A certain chemical compound I remember smelling often during my recent visits to the tower. 

“Look, to make a long story short, I got ten grand with your name on it, and a party infested with obnoxious supes. I need you to sit at high ground, and keep watch.”

“Why don’t you get one of your boys to do it?” I grill.

“None of ‘em have aim like you, sweetheart.” He said it with such a shit-eating grin.

I rolled my eyes, “I’m flattered, truly.”

He took a deep breath, getting even closer, I could feel his hot breath on my ear.

“We’re going to be...taking him out.”

I looked at him, hard. I squinted my eyes. Listening in on his slow, heavy heartbeat. His unrelenting, static blood pressure. He wasn’t lying, I thought. He knew better than to anyway. 

“Good luck with that,” I chuckled, beginning to stand up to leave. Had he lost his mind? I thought. I didn’t have the time for this. Plus, thinking hard on it, I didn’t even know if I had wanted John to die. I had people to get revenge on, y’know?

“We have a weapon,” He added, yanking my arm back down, nearly pulling it out of its socket. “The same one that killed Soldier Boy.”

The blood had rushed out of my face then. He really was serious. I looked around, trying to focus on anything, but my thoughts were racing, and my eyes had gone cloudy. 

“Want to know something even crazier?” He probed. “The weapon is Soldier Boy. The cunt was still alive. Had to fight a handful of Ivans to get the bastard out.”

“That's impossible,” I laughed, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. “Soldier Boy died in Nicaragua.” 

“Ten thousand big ones for a few hours of your time, sweetheart.” He smiled.

I swallowed hard, grabbing his bottle from off the counter and taking a big swig. 

“You have to make me a promise,” I held my finger in his face. “If homelander dies, you and your boys have to help me finish something.”

He put his hand out for a shake. 

“Anything you need.” He grinned.

“Anything I need if he dies.” I nodded along, grabbing his hand, my mind off worrying, my eyes glazed over with fear. 

“Anything you need when the cunt dies.” 

And that’s when I had smelled it, the Temp V. My eyes widened at him. Now that explained why his organs were rotting. The bastard had been shooting up liquid radiation into his veins in a lame attempt to put up an equal fight. His grip tightened around mine, threatening to shatter my wrist. 

“I’ll give you the address, you’ll need your own car. Don’t be seen by anyone.” He declared, beginning to stand up from his stool.

“I wasn't born yesterday,” I mocked. “And by the way, if you do any more of that Temp V, you can go ahead and sign your death certificate.”

As we all know, that plan never worked. Homelander survived, and Soldier Boy is off somewhere frozen solid, I’m assuming. I never ended up getting the chance to see either of them that day, my shitty car ended up breaking down on the side of the road only twenty miles out of the city. Maybe it was for the best, I thought. A lot of people died that day. 

And so here I am, a year later, still willing to help him, but now for a different reason. If John wasn’t going to help me with my plan, Butcher and the boys surely will. 

Butcher had told me to meet him at a sketchy apartment building in the Bronx, so here I was. Looking around, there isn't much to see. Piles of trash and hoards of rancid homeless people litter the streets. Gross, I think. Why can’t the city grant these invalids a communal shower or something? Doesn’t the mayor know some people can practically smell atoms? 

Before I buzz in for him, I catch the wind and listen for their lingering voices upstairs. They are on the roof, and I think by the heartbeats I can count four- no- five. There are five of them, and one of them is definitely a woman. Her heart is delicate, small. But pumped full of V? I think. It thumps with an exertion only jacked supes would understand. Sounds like a panic attack waiting to happen, if you ask me. 

“Any of you ever use one of these before?” A voice asks. 

“Eh, maybe a rifle but not a scope.” Someone replies, an accent thick...present.

“Frenchie, hasn’t she had combat training?”

“Combat training, yes, but not a fucking sniper.”

“Butcher, would you come over here please? Hughie, would you grab him?”

A giant group of idiots, I think. Maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea after all. I pull my hands into a finger gun and shoot it into my open mouth. This is going to be a long night.

I walk over to the entrance, looking down at my phone. Butcher is taking too long to answer me. I slap the side of the code box, listening to the stops on the inside. A thicker metal, and rusted too. But I can still make it out. 1111? Really? No wonder everyone gets robbed on this side of town. 

Typing in the code, I begin to saunter my way upstairs. I'm slouched over and panting by the time I reach the top floor. Man, it’s times like these where I wish I could’ve been V-blessed with some fucking stamina. Fuck you Vought. I slip my way out onto the rooftop. Everyone's heads fly around to see me as I walk towards the group. 

“Could you guys be any fucking louder?” I ask, walking right up to Butcher. He smiles down at me.

“Glad to see you’re in a good mood this evening.”

I roll my eyes, “Too bad I could smell your insides rotting from half a mile away.” I pat him on the shoulder as I walk by, heading towards the man at the edge of the roof with a rifle. 

“Butcher, what the fuck?” The scrawny one asks.

“He doesn’t bring too many girls around, huh?” I say. 

“Who the fuck is this?” The French one questions. 

Butcher smiles as I go up to the man holding the gun. I shoo him away, squatting down, and placing my finger on the trigger. I squint my eyes and look down the scope. 

“Which one is it?” I ask.

Butcher comes over, squatting next to me, as well as the guy who was holding the gun before. 

“Blue tie,” Says butcher. “Bad haircut.”

“Balding or buzzed?” 

“Neither. Short mullet.” He adds.

I nod, and suddenly stand up, moving to another spot on the rooftop.

“What the fuck are you doing? I just spent two hours setting that spot up!”

“The glass is bulletproof,” I state. “Can’t you see the reflection?”

I start laughing then, “I mean, can’t you hear the way it sounds as the wind gusts off of it? There might as well be a sign.”

He looks at me quizzically, they all do. It usually takes a second for most people to recall my pathetic existence. 

“This window here must've just been replaced, because it’s temporary. Not bulletproof, and frankly, not strong wind proof either. This thing is just asking to be shattered.”

I crouch down again, squinting my eyes, and looking down the scope. I hold my hand up, snapping quietly. In fractions of a second, I can feel, hear, and see sound waves bouncing off of every nearby surface. They rush through the open air towards the glass window, bouncing off, only then to reverberate around the inside. It wraps around the target's stature like a sheet in the wind. Bullseye. I pull the trigger, hitting him directly between the eyes. We all watch as all hell breaks loose within whatever party I just ruined. 

I stand up, handing the rifle over to Butcher. I wipe my hands off on my pants.

“We have five minutes before a swat team barrels up here. Do you mind if we talk in private?”

Butcher nods, he and I both begin to walk downstairs. Everyone grabs their stuff, and from the scrawny boy I hear a snap, like he's finally put his finger on it. 

“Frequency!” Ego boost, I think. “God, that makes so much sense.” 

That recognition hasn’t happened in a while. I'm embarrassed to say I’m beginning to blush.

The french one nods to him, “A freak of fucking nature. That is a hell of a gift.”

A hell of a curse, he means. If only they knew the half of it. The boys chuckle as Butcher and I disappear into a dark alley. There are sirens in the distance.

“I need a favor.” I say, stopping and turning to him. The only thing illuminating us is a musty street light. It's hazy and orange. He looks down at me with damp skin. His body is trying it’s hardest to detoxify itself. There is no use. 

“What's that, love?” He chuckles, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He brings one up to his lips, inhaling and lighting. He gestures the pack to me. I shake my head. I always end up tasting the pesticides. 

“Look, I’ve asked everyone. You and your boys are the only thing I have left.”

“Well, spit it out then.” He coughs.

I take a deep breath, looking down at my shoe and kicking a little rock with the toe of it. 

“I want revenge on Vought.”

“Get in line sweetheart.” I roll my eyes at him, why does everyone always say that?

“But listen, I have the perfect idea,” I explain. “Over the summer they will be throwing a huge event in celebration over the success of Temp-V. I’m sure almost, if not all of the major Vought scientists will be there. Oh, and executives too. And all of the supes we all hate as well.”

He watches me as I talk, just smoking his cigarette. He’s hard to read these days. His expression is always pained. Not surprising though, I can literally hear his body decomposing. 

“I just- this is my best chance to get back at these people for cursing me. For making my life, and everyone else's life a living hell. Think about it, you can avenge your wife!"

“Why don’t you ask the big man in the sky?” He scoffs.

“I did, he said no.”

“Well, there is your answer from me.”

“I’m sorry?” I glare at him, appalled. “Last time I checked all you wanted to do was avenge your wife! Say 'fuck you' to Vought, and to Homelander. Why do you suddenly have cold feet?”

He reaches around me, placing an arm on my shoulder. He begins to walk me down the alleyway. 

“If the cunt says no, then it’s a no. We show up there ready to blow a crater into the ground, he’ll be the first to know. You know better than I do that he ain’t gonna like it. Also, we got ties to the FBI and the CIA. The last thing they need is for their agents that are integrated within Vought to be a part of Supe 9/11.”

“You’re telling me the CIA isn't looking for an excuse to destroy these bastards?”

“They are,” He smiles. “Just in a way that won’t have a trail leading back to ‘em.”

We’re at the opening of the alley now. Police cars fly by as they respond to the murder I just committed a few blocks away. I should be in the clear, I’m hearing a lot of “Arab Supe-Terrorist” static over the vibrations of police radio. 

“Get Soldier Boy back, thatll make it even easier for everyone. They can just blame it on him.”

“That’ll come back on ‘em too, Love. They have him hidden with a frostbitten dick at a military compound. If the cunt got out on their terms they’d never hear the end of it.” 

Huzzah, I think. Now that is a good idea. I go to shake his hand. If he's gonna reject me too, I guess there is only one thing left to do.

“Where'd they end up keeping him anyway? My bets on upstate.” I question.

He squeezes my hand tight, smiling at me mischievously. 

“I know better than to tell ‘ya that, sweetheart.”

I laugh, not genuinely, more out of frustration by this point.

“Right,” I say, beginning to walk off in the direction of my subway. “Let me know if you are ever need any of my services. You know where to reach me.” 

He walks off the opposite way, his radioactive stench leaving a trail behind him. The plot thickens. Soldier Boy is upstate alright. And if no one is willing to help me, then I’ll just have to do it myself.

Masterlist | Episode 2

[randomrabbidramblings]

Thanks to Bwahstrella's... questionable policies about her clients' privacy here's her quotes:

Not quite spoilers, but if you want to catch them yourself, don't go ahead. No spoilers about the DLC, just lil' trivia about the characters. There's A LOT of them, I don't even think you could get all of them in a couple of playthroughs, I may have missed a bunch, so if you find some I didn't let me know!

"Augie lives in fear his villagers will discover that their emergency food supplies are just bags of nacho cheese sauce."

"Augie was supposed to build a new temple, but he blew the funds on booking DJ Cheep Tuna for his birthday."

"I foresee Augie will be put on a "performance improvement plan" for using the lighthouse to cook a rotisserie chicken."

"Tell Augie our service hotline is not a free consueling service."

"Find out wich intern told Augie he was doomed and fire them. He is calling like a lunatic now."

"I foresee Augie wearing sweatpants to his parents' anniversary after forgetting to try on his suit until the day of."

"Orion's next cargo ship will catch fire after Salesbot's crates of "furniture parts" turn out to be illegal fireworks."

"I foresee Orion being swallowed alive by a Shovel-Nosed Gobblegazer while star fishing. He REALLY needs a new hobby."

"Magnesio and Vanesia sold MANY "prosperity crystals". The catch? They were ICE crystals. Rabbids got water in the mail."

"I sponsored Telesio in a book-a-thon fundraiser. He read every book in the Winter Palace - TWICE! Cost me a fortune."

"Each postcard of Dr. Vent is stranger than the last. That Rabbid is in dire need of a vacation."

"The balls they throw at the Winter palace are like knitting circles compared to the ones they had there back in my days."

"Woodrow is to recieve terrible dating advice until he rescinds the 5% fortune telling tax on Palette Prime!"

"Woodrow's ex-girlfriend couldn't even read a greeting card inscription without breaking into hives, poor thing."

"The Fates are many, and their voices discordant, but on this ONE thing they agree - they HATE Woodrow's poetry."

"When Woodrow needed money he wrote crude limericks under the name "Bell Chur". Oddly they brought only good luck."

"If Woodrow calls, tell him I am in a seance - DO NOT take a message, especially if it rhymes."

"Yes, it is bad if Woodrow's next poem destroys the galaxy, BUT if we don't have to hear it - mixed blessing."

"Lots of Rabbids from Palette Prime are calling for advice. Woodrow must be working on a new poem. SHUDDER."

"Tell the Palette Prime office I'm eagerly awaiting fresh gossip from the Spellbound Woods about Sweetlopek an the Dryad."

"I foresee the Dryad and Sweetlopek making a fortune selling fall-themed "farmhouse chic" pinecone wreaths to tourists."

"A certain Spark Hunter who is as dense as her name implies owes me for damage to my vacation home on Palette Prime."

"I didn't say Salesbot smuggles artificial pumpking spice into Palette Prime, but I also didn't NOT say it."

"The "authenthic" Paletteville Plaza Farmer's Market scented candles I bought from Salesbot smell like rotting garbage."

"The premium for poetry-related accident insurance on Palette Prime is six times that of our other locations!"

"A golden acorn of opportunity will fall in your lap while you are asleep. It will be eaten by a vole."

"Bea reports that "Madame Bwahstrella Doom n' Bloom Boquets" are a very popular item between mortal enemies."

"Bea's music made a small comeback after DJ Cheep Tuna sampled it for Darkmess Cheese Barber Wrap Tunnel Disco party."

"Tell my publicist to invite Galaxy Confidential to my Doomy Awards dinner party, then seat the Phantom near Bea."

"You didn't need to be psychic to predict the Phantom dumping Bea for one of her backup dancers, but would she listen?"

"Tell Alkementor I need a case of red banana-kumquat-star apple mineral fusion water for my Doomy Awards afterparty."

"I see Sullivan going dateless at the Engineer's Ball if he does not stop blowing me off for his stupid train."

"If Sullivan calls, tell him I'm having lunch with a handsome salesman who prefers electric trains over steam engines."

"Sullivan sent roses to apologize for calling me "vile rabble" after I said his steam train was a "ridiculous fossil"."

"Everywhere I go at the Everbloom I am asked. "Do you foresee more overtime in my future?" Hard to relax."

"I foresee Momma being thougher than leather and harder than steel, with an itch for action and living like there no tomorrow!"

"I wouldn't want to be a certain Spark Hunter when Momma catches up to them with an itch that only revenge can scratch!"

"Tell our Barrendale Mesa location they are absolutely NOT to close during "Big Momma's Bike Rally and Chili Cookoff."

"I foresee Gerspard moving into his Neo-Figurative Hyper-Expressionist Retro-Futuristic Tabloid phase to rave reviews."

"Rabbid Peach wants HOW MUCH for a sponsored post?!"

"Someone tell Rabbid Mario we do not use male models for our gift catalogues before he sends us any more beefcake shots."

"Prof. Backpack's lecture series is postponed until he can find a commercial spaceflight with room for his backpack."

"Can someone remind Salesbot he does not work here? He keeps popping in to help himself to our breakroom snacks."

"My competitor, Madame Bwahstrodamus, could not predict yesterday's weather if she had a newspaper."

"Find out how many lanes the bowling alley in Madame Bwahstrodamus' mansion has so I can build mine with twice as many."

"Sigh... Have my body double do the autograph signing. I need a vacation..."

"I see a new personal assistant in my future if my chicken cheesesteak is cold like last time."

"Curses, hexes, evil eyes... Fortune-telling USED to be fun. Now the Fates most rely on algorithms and statistics."

"I'm Doomed, My Partner's Not - my self-help guide for couples, it's due out this spring."

"Life is short - doom well, doom often, doom much."

[themculibrary]

Nick Fury Masterlist 2

part one

a direct phone line to a mob boss (ao3) - lilyfarseer clint/phil E, 13k

Summary: Clint, in a quest for coffee, accidentally stumbles into a mob turf war and saves a mob boss named Nick Fury. Fury gives Clint an IOU in the form of a cell phone with instructions for Clint to call if he ever wants to cash in a favor. After a decade of unfortunate events, Clint accidently types, “I want to be happy”. From there, a strange number of things start occurring, starting with a text back of “Understood”, and followed by a series of strange happenstances. Then there is that really handsome guy whose apartment he accidentally crashed into with big blue eyes who sometimes asks Clint, “Are you happy?” Which really, what exactly is Clint supposed to say to him?

Agent Fury, Director Fury, Fury Nicholas J, Nick (ao3) -  R_o_x_x_a_n_n_e G, 907

Summary: Nick Fury tries to cope with Maria Hill's death, the new threats in his world and his own vulnerability.

And a game of chess

all the days of our lives, phase 1 (ao3) - ElrondsScribe pepper/tony, jane/thor, clint/laura, ian/darcy, wanda/vision, sharon/steve, bucky/natasha N/R, 41k

Summary: An Avengers-watch-their-own-movies fanfiction. I know it’s been done before, but I wanted to try it with a more expansive audience. In addition to all the Avengers (both retired and active) you’ll find Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Laura Barton, Betty Ross, Helen Cho, Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, and even Ian Boothby.

Post Captain America: Civil War. AU, obviously. All ships in the tags. Please do enjoy! Warning: there will be a bit of language.

First up: Captain America: The First Avenger

a place to lie low (ao3) - Sholio T, 5k

Summary: Two separate Hydra-hunting missions converge, and Nick Fury and Sitwell end up getting Sam out of a tight spot. Looks like they’re all going the same way for a while.

avengers at disney world (ao3) - ctxrover clint/natasha, steve/bucky T, 70k

Summary: Fury’s fed up of the Avengers not behaving like a team, so he’s sending them on a bonding trip to Disney World with Hill as their babysitter. Meanwhile, Coulson rarely gets to spend time with his kids so he takes them to Disney World. The problem? They’re going at the same time as the Avengers-who don’t know of Coulson’s survival. Some sort of AU. Clintasha. Some Stucky. Rated T.

avengers watch captain marvel (fanfiction.net) - Roxas Itsuka T, 30k

Summary: Called forth by an unknown being. The Avengers are made watch a movie about a hero who came not long before them. Fury and Goose present also. No pairing.

beneath the shadow of atlas (we’re all just chasing stardust) (ao3) - GrimRevolution G, 2k

Summary: Carol’s gone. She went back to space.

What the hell was Fury supposed to do about the alien cat?

Don't Bet With Nick Fury (ao3) - Westgate (Harkpad) clint/phil T, 1k

Summary: Phil loses a bit to Nick, and the payoff is more than annoying than a Duran Duran song from the 80s. He and Clint have to go to his High School reunion. It's a little bit Grosse Pointe Blank, it's a little bit badass Phil. Clint thinks the whole night is a success.

easy work for easy pay (ao3) - AustinB steve/bucky M, 45k

Summary: Bucky’s working his way back up through the ranks at S.H.I.E.L.D. after a mission took his left arm and Stark gave him a new metal one.

So when Fury tasks him with integrating the newly defrosted Captain Rogers into the 21st century, he jumps at the promotion.

magic isn’t the answer to everything (only some things) (ao3) - melonbutterfly loki/tony E, 25k

Summary: In which Tony is pregnant, everybody else isn’t (except for two weeks but it doesn’t count), Fury’s chair gets abducted, there’s some panicking, a little textspeak, some overprotectiveness, a lot of tuna, and no fainting.

Nick Fury (ao3) - untilweseeawingshot pepper/tony G, 1k

Summary: Fury pays a visit to the tower and suddenly gains a new friend.

nick fury is an asshole (ao3) - pastelfalcon phil/nick/melinda G, 417

Summary: Nick has been away for awhile and Phil is (understandably) pissed off about it. Melinda is, as always, the most level-headed.

Nick Fury's Missing Eye (ao3) - apollothyme bruce/clint, steve/tony G, 1k

Summary: Inspired by this memo where The Avengers form a band just to piss off Fury.

Service Dogs for Superheroes (SDfSH): Nick Fury (ao3) - literally_no_idea T, 3k

Summary: When Carol comes back to Earth, the first thing she does is meet with Nick Fury. Well, at least, that was the plan.

somewhere in the dark (ao3) - flipflop_diva steve/natasha E, 13k

Summary: In the weeks following the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson spend their days tracking down leads to the winter soldier’s whereabouts. But when Nick Fury shows up unannounced one night with the news that Natasha has gone missing, plans quickly change. And soon it becomes a race not only to find her but to figure out the circumstances around her disappearance. (And, of course, for Steve, it might be time to figure out how he finally feels about her.)

still life with flerken (ao3) - copperbadge G, 1k

Summary: Nick Fury: soldier, spy, strategist, cat dad.

the story behind the man: iron man 1 (ao3) - Anothershadow24 bruce/tony T, 34k

Summary: A year after the so called ‘Civil War’, the six original avengers, plus Sam, Wanda, Vision, Fury and Hill, get locked up on a room to watch a stack of films about one Tony Stark.

through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered (ao3) - indiefic E, 98k

Summary: Set post-Captain America: the Winter Soldier. Steve’s been lost since they thawed him out. When he discovers Peggy Carter is still alive, he’s even more lost. Sometimes reuniting with the love of your life isn’t happily ever after. Sometimes, it’s the very beginning of the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

((or, that one fic where Bucky’s medical records are missing. Tony thinks Fury’s growing super soldiers. Fury thinks Steve has an illegitimate daughter. Natasha knows a lot more than she’s saying. And everyone’s afraid of Peggy.))

Numerous flashbacks to the Captain America and Agent Carter timelines.

[phenikas]

Tagged by: @krotiation <3 thank you for this!!!!

Last song: CHVRCHES - Out Of My Head ft. WEDNESDAY CAMPANELLA (absolutely in love with their songs, if you like synth-pop you should def check them out!!)

Currently watching: nothing in particular, waiting for the last season of What We Do In The Shadows to drop :((

Three ships:

rhack, rhysothy, jackothy and rhackothy (I count this as one cause it's basically the same three people lolol) - I adore them so much

tuna (Tidus and Yuna from FFX) - listen these two have been in the back of my head since I was a kid, I still love them so much even though I never post about them

me and the ability to stay awake and aware past 10 pm - I think this one speaks for itself

Favorite color: do not have one but I adore several shades of blue and pink

Currently consuming: the dread of my customers

First ship: tuna (as mentioned above) (listen I know the name sounds funny but also it is thematic cause Tidus def has fish genes the way he can stay underwater for so long)

Relationship status: what relationship

Last movie: Kingsglaive FFXV - I wanted to see if the movie was as good as I remembered so I rewatched it a few days ago.. safe to say that it's not bad by a large margin but it is very much lacking in storytelling cause of the fact that it's supposed to be a prologue to ffxv

Currently working on: a loooot of things, most of them are renders, some are fics (frankly I have a lot of wips that will probably never see the light of day)

Tagging: lovingly bullying these people into doing this (because I wanna know more about you!!!! (also you don't have to if you don't wanna <3)) @ryzselo @shinakazami1 @memories-of-better-days @the-cpu-system @fish-in-the-aquarium and anyone else who would also like to do this!!

[wihlted]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN. | respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?

serena has been an oc of mine for almost like... ten years ♡ obviously she has changed a lot over the years, but her general appearance and demeanor have stayed the same. i've always loved writing soft girls, so that's something that's been consistent with her that i really enjoy. serena atp is just a part of me, she's like my favorite toy. i love writing her, no matter how long a hiatus i take, i always come back to her.

is there anything you don’t like to write?

uhhh not really, i enjoy writing most things! it just depends on my mood at the time. most of the time i don't enjoy writing or talking about smut. like i do, but i just need to be in the mood. and constantly talking about smut does get annoying for me ;w; (but i don't DISLIKE IT i have to be CLEAR)

is there anything you really enjoy writing?

i luuuuuv <333 writing romance <33 and shipping <33 i'm so annoying <33

but beyond that i also like absurd plots, and fun, ongoing complex plots that just become an entire universe ala the romy and love cinematic universe <3

how do you come up with headcanons?

i just sit and think about my muse! i listen to music, look at pinterest, talk and plot with my friends, and just look at media that reminds me of her. all of that brings me back to just thinking about her, and how that headcanon makes her more 'fleshed out' and if it conflicts with other things about her. and if it does conflict, is there a reason that makes sense?

do you write in silence or do you play music?

music. i actually really dislike writing in the silence. i almost always have something playing - usually just music or youtube.

do you plan your replies or wing them?

wing them!! i only ever really wing my replies, except with certain people that i talk about threads really in depth with. like, with romy, sometimes we'll really talk about a thread scene by scene with each other. i looooove getting to do that, especially since we can't always throw replies back and forth </3

do you enjoy shipping? 

YES i think shipping is really fun, and i'm a hopeless romantic with nowhere to put all that love <3 so i just live vicariously through serena. so i love writing those deep feelings, and I LOVE WRITING / READING PINING SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!! I LOVE PINING!!! sometimes the yearning is even better than the relationship to me.

what’s your alias/name?

love / rosalie / juliet

age?

25 ⊹♡

birthday?

may 13th!

favorite color?

pastel pink and white!

favorite song?

rn it's probably recency bias but i am LOVING eternal sunshine

last movie you watched?

uhh i genuinely do not remember

last show you watched?

currently watching 'deadly sins' which is just a true crime anthology connecting crimes to deadly sins. the presenter is kind of an asshole and his glasses look like cardboard.

last song you listened to?

eternal sunshine 𓁹‿𓁹

favorite food?

spicy tuna roll sushi / hibachi and literally plain steamed white rice

favorite season?

spring! i love the flowers and the aesthetic, the rain, the cool air. once my allergies get under control, i have a wonderful time!

do you have a tumblr best friend?

fuck THESE bitches in particular (doe romy abby n cassidy)

tagged by @tapalslegacy ty!!!!

TAGGING @sorehsu / @feelsinister / @shoelacestied / @musikensangel

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Hazformers: The Strangest Ship Of Sarivette (2023)

--------------------------  

Credit for Hazbin Hotel  goes to Vivienne “Vivziepop” Medrano

Credit for Transformers goes to Hasbro

Credit for Transformers Animated goes to Sam Register & Matt Youngberg

------------------------

not sure if this ship will catch on like the awesome Crossover OTP Blitzhusk ship (from the Hazformers AU that is by Blitzy-Blitzwing.), but I think I might be the first to ship Sarivette...

Sari is around Loona and Millie's Age in this drawing, possibly being a year younger than Loona but still being in her early 20s.

I plan to use this as a Cover for a story over at the place where I am also writing that fan fic that has to do with that Spinelluva AU.

Spinelluva is kind of like a Multi-Crossover anyway, so if I want to make Sarivette a part of it, I will...

well it's okay that not everybody ends up drawing Sarivette, and this is my first Sarivette ship drawing after all.

so yeah, Sari x Velvette’s ship name is Sarivette...

I think I like the idea of the look that Sari has in this, being in Spinelluva, so I might make her have a cameo appearance when I.M.P. has a job in the living world, maybe to go after Powell.

originally Sari, was going to have the same type of outfit she has on when she had upgraded herself, but I decided to make it a bit like her Shattered Glass Counterpart.

Sari is also wearing purple eye-shadow and lipstick in this as well. 

it be funny if Sari pulls a Millie, like from that one episode that has Millie and Moxxie’s Ex-Boyfriend or as I like to call him “Tuna-Himbo”....

like if Velvette was in a fight, and then her new girlfriend who is half-robot finds out, she might get mad when Velvette is doing it when it is suppose to be their date night....

like picture Velvette, Vox and Valentino fighting Blitzwing, Husk and Alastor...

but all them stop as soon as someone yells out “Hey!!!”

and there could also be Megatron and some of the other Decepticons there as well, and Velvette is fighting Blackarachnia...

and Sari walks over grabs Velvette and places her over her shoulder, while glaring at Blackarachnia and telling her that while pointing to Velvette’s butt,

“this a** is mine! so back off spider-b*tch!” before leaving with Velvette. and everyone is giving a “what the frag just happen” type of looks.

and Vox & Valentino are just as shocked as everyone else before yelling out “since when did Velvette have a girlfriend...!!?”

the songs that would fit Sarivette would be these songs...

“She’s Crazy But She’s Mine” by Alex Sparrow

“Crazy Chicks” by Ken Ashcorp

 “Good Girls Go Bad” by Cobra Starship

and possibly “I Kissed A Girl” by Katy Perry.    

also I know the chances of anyone else drawing Sarivette, is perhaps very low.

I mean it’s not like many will end up liking this ship so much that they will start drawing it as well, and well the chances of that happening are probably very small.

and I’m weird enough to have Sarivette pop into my head, cause once again I did give myself the nickname “The Embodiment Of Weird” or “The Embodiment Of Weirdness”.........basically gonna have weird moments, and my idea that has to do with shipping Sari and Velvette together will count as weird, cause they are so opposite and yet the whole opposites attract comes into play...

it is possible that Bumblebee wouldn’t approve of Sari dating Velvette,

and well maybe Megatron wouldn’t either if he figured out that Sari is technically his daughter because he had went through the mitosis when he was in that stasis-coma while in Professor Isaac Sumdac’s Lab...I’m still viewing that as fan head-canon, as well as Soundwave technically being Sari’s baby brother.

I guess in theory, Cybertronians who had become Demons (or Angels) in the Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss/Transformers Crossover Universe, could possibly still go through a type of mitosis, which if anyone else touches the liquid metal body, they will of course get a shock and wake up to see what looks like a baby.

I also think that when Isaac found Sari when she was a protoform, she wasn’t the same type as the ones that were taken from Yoketron’s Dojo, and what it was really was a Hatchling, a newborn, because well it is smaller than the other protoforms we seen in the show, and it looks like it’s optics were closed, and was the size of a human baby.

I think it could be possible that if anyone told Megatron that he had a Hatchling, he would either get really mad, or he would break, like he would just be standing there while in shock, and Blitzwing could poke him on the head (much to the disapproval of Lugnut and Shockwave.) but no one would be home, because the shock of technically being a Sire to a techno-organic and her human DNA coming from Isaac Sumdac, would be too much for his mind to process...

well if Sari did date Velvette, she would have to bring her home to meet her parents at some point, which happens to be both Isaac and Megatron. XD

I will try to work in a bit of Sarivette in that Spinelluva Story of mine, which also has Steven Universe, Helluva Boss, and a bit of Fallout...

I like the idea of Fallout 4 being in it, and it being like a type of Multi-Crossover, but there being like the Main type of Crossovers and the others just being I guess small roles in the crossover.

my favorite thing to use to fight in Fallout 4, has become the baseball bat.

even though sadly I can’t use it for everything in the game, but I can at least try to do my best to use it on feral ghouls.

I know that even if I put the whole “do not reblog without permission” some humans will ignore it, even though it did peeve me off...and yeah still not happy about it, I mean no matter how many freaking times I try to point out how it makes me feel, and well......I was going to put that whole “note: don’t reblog without permission” and then add the tags that had to do with it...

I guess I will just leave that out for now...but that might change later, who knows.

anyway once again I know that Sarivette might not get many who will end up drawing them together, and this is my first time drawing Sarivette, and I think I had first got the idea of shipping today on June 2, 2023...

which of course says so on the drawing...

so yeah, even if this might end up being viewed as a crack ship that no one expected to happen in this plane of reality, but maybe some will find some form of amusement in the two being ship together.                                                

[ilovedilfs228007]

First of all, im alive.

Second, I know u guys are probably sick of this shit to this point BUT it's MY account and I post shit I want here.

I know those people are rich, i know they signed for this, i know they paid for this, we all know it. But i just can't stop thinking about it. I am very empathetic, too much probably. I just.. i can imagine this so clearly it scares me. Being trapped in a small space, with 4 more people, the place is pitch black, with small amount of food and water and, what is more important, oxygen. Imagine like you were optimistic, laughing, chatting but suddenly everything went black and the pilot started to seem concerned. He said you couldn't move now, becase this tuna can was broken. Imagine someone started to bang the walls. With what? Hands? Hummer? Head? Some other shit? We'll probably never know. An hour. Another. Another. Another 4 hours. 5. Someone's vomiting. Maybe someone screamed. Had a panic attack. The air now smells. It also became harder to breathe.

Some people say "oh they r rich haha eat the rich"

But with all those rich men there was a 19 yo boy. He's not even allowed to drink beer in the US. And the pilot. Was he also rich? Idk. Idc. If those people were rich or poor, this doesn't matter. They are probably dead to this point and they experienced the maybe one of the most terrifying way to die.

Somebody started to say that a couple of days ago 700 people from.. well an african country (im sorry I can't recall its name) drowned while trying to get ro Greece (?) (i only heard about it a cople of times. Not enough to memorize all the details, sorry). I am not saying this is not a tragedy. This is also terrifying. Those were families. The other thing is that the social media didn't talk about it so much. This is not the thing we are talking about now.

Those people on the Titan aren't innocent. But those who were on the ships weren't, too. Neither of them deserved such death. This is not our job to judge what people are good and what people are bad. I truly believe that all people, deep inside, are good and deserve to live (somebodys becoming a doctor for a reason).

And im scared of people who show absolutely no sympathy. They either have a very bad imagination and/or are just cruel.

[mirika]

A bit late, but in November 2023 I went to Dutch Comic Con's winter edition and holy shit what a trip.

I will just summarize the whole weekend... I fucking met Elijah Wood. Holy fucking shit. Just writing this already brings me to tears.

On the first day I was dressed with mostly hobbity vibes, no real cosplay... and then on the second day as Mimi from Digimon again.

I never actually got to properly talk to anyone about my Comic Con experience, because my computer broke a little while after and it destroyed me emotionally and financially. Does not take away how special this weekend was for me though.

All weekend the Starbucks wrote my name wrong, except for one time when I went to a different one. I've been Min, Milou, Niemke...

Day one. CHAOS ENSUED. I left super early to make sure I was on-time. The schedule was clear: visit the Q&A, go straight to the hella expensive photobooth, and then finally go shopping.

And so I did! I could do a little bit of shipping in the artist alley in advance, his Q&A started at 11 am and I entered at 10 am (opening time). It was actually weird to be at opening time as I never am. The Q&A was very fun, but sadly I forgot a lot of details since my memory is awfully poor and I did not take notes, and on top of that I had to leave midway to go to the photo booth because Comic Con loves putting photo sessions right after Q&As.

Literally missed half of it to queue in advance. I did meet a very lovely lady in the queue though, dressed as Arwen, she was a teacher in science or something like that. We chatted a lot and we are mutuals on Instagram now. Absolutely adored her. The photo turned out HELLA awkward and I never have the courage to ask for a re-shot despite paying BIG money to get a photo taken, I really hate myself for this, but if I imagine my arm away it's okay.

I also hate how I insisted on wearing this flower crown when I should have known the background was going to be blue. Do I look nervous?I was!

After that I went on with my shopping. And look... THE RETURN OF THE ONIGIRI STAND! Fucking love these rice balls.

Glorious rice balls filled with tuna, with a small wrapping of dried seaweed... yum yum!

I also will showcase of course the merchandise I purchased.

A Digimon TCG gift box with a special Angewomon token, another bottle of mead like this time... again, they did not have cherry cinnamon, so this time my copium was pear cinnamon. A mini Kazuha bodypillow cuz I thought it was funny and they used his NORMAL art, not some weird spicy stuff... a bunch of buttons (the bottom left is a gift for a friend, the others are my new favourite Genshin Impact character, Lyney), a bag that has Lyney's constellation on it WHICH GLOWS IN THE DARK, two key chains also related to Lyney.

And because I still felt a little frustrated about my photo with Elijah, I could not resist buying a selfie with him as well. Also super expensive, and a bit awkward as he stayed on his side of the table, but... I love the photo so much.

I told him... gosh I am sOBBING. I told him I wanted to come as Wilfred (which btw, on day 2 I actually found a Wilfred cosplay, IT WAS SO COOL and he told me I was the ONLY one who recognized him).

So I told Elijah I wanted to go as Wilfred instead, but alas... and you know what he told me????

"Well, you look beautiful."

I'm..................... in tears. I can't believe how someone who is technically a stranger can impact me so much. I am actually proper crying just writing about this now. Elijah fucking Wood said I look beautiful. Let's... let's move to day two.

Day two. So on this day I was again making my way to Elijah Wood's Q&A again at 11 am, and this time I took notes! Which is great as someone with potential aphantasia.

Some notes are...

We touched upon the subject of Daniel Radcliffe and him being a bit of a meme, so he told another story on it. He was in an elevator with someone and he could see this person was building up the courage to say something. He was thinking really hard, and when the elevator opened, he yelled "Harry Potter!" to which Elijah Wood REALLY comedically replied "NO!" and it was SO funny the way he landed his story.

He also mentioned that usually when he is misunderstood for another actor, he kinda lets it slip. He does not want to break their dream. He will only say it if they specifically ask him "are you [name]?" but otherwise he goes with the flow. This has also caused him trouble though, lol.

He ended up deep in conversation with an older woman, I think in a shop. She would be like "hey I saw you on a talk show yesterday" and Elijah was basically thinking: "I was not on one yesterday, but reruns happen all the time, it must've been that" so he went on with it. However, the more she continued, the more he realized it was not actually about him, as the woman went on about how she could relate about his feelings on thanksgiving as a vegan. That is when Elijah realized that it was not about him, it was about Tobey Maguire. He was already in so deep though, he just kind-of laughed it off and hoped the conversation would just end as soon as possible. He did not want to ruin this woman's day of course, but luckily she did end the conversation soon after that, he was so relieved. He just thought it was unique he was mistaken for Tobey Maguire in this instance.

Also very important, he said STROOPwafel correctly, he said the double o in the Dutch way instead of the butchered English way. Bless him.

He also talked so much about his experience with Jim Carrey, loved hearing him talk about him. Basically confirmed Jim is a cool and funny dude.

AND OF COURSE! A fan in the audience: "I have a question. It is very important and can be career changing. [pause]. Will you wear wigs?" - EVERYONE fucking died at the spot. The way it was landed. Fucking fantastic. Bless than fan for bringing it up. It led to Elijah telling about that his wife had not seen this "interview" until recently. He went like "...babe..." in such a tone, it was fantastic.

Brainpower was his Q&A interviewer, he is really talented, love that he also brings up less popular roles. He brought many GOOD questions and notes, a lot about his acting career, but I did not take many notes on it, but we did get a fun fact about what could have been in Dirk Gently season 3. There was going to be an invisible entity that would've basically been there the whole time and there would have been interesting quarrels between Todd and his sister. Man...

Overall... Elijah Wood was a very pleasant man to listen to. He is very calm, he has a sincere kindness to him that I cannot explain. You can tell he has been in the acting business for so long, been doing Comic Con gigs for so long, he was radiating. His eyes just expressed so much friendliness. Comfort. It is odd to describe, and actually kind-of funny considering how much of a horror fan he is, that he is suck a kind and comforting person.

[breathes]

Alright. That was the Q&A. What I noticed during the Q&A was that he had a different look about him though; he had shaved. This triggered my FOMO and purchased ANOTHER expensive photo with the man.

In this photo I am about to post... you may not see it... is a very happy woman. In the queue I was building up an incredible amount of courage; I would regret it if I did not try it... I... I went in to ask for a hug.

"Can I ask a question?" ("yeah") "You can say no, but can I have a hobbit hug?" (not exact quotes, a rough memory of how it went)

And... I actually got to hug Elijah Wood. ;_; I got to receive the realest of hobbit hugs. I was too nervous to properly live in the moment, but it was a blessing. I am proud that I asked, that I had the courage, I would have really regretted it if I did not, and I'm just - ;_;

The photo was after the hug though.

And gosh look at his face, he looks so precious and happy. I did take off my hat from the cosplay to take the photo as you can see. I'm so happy I took the opportunity and took another photo, that I dared ask him for that hug, and I am grateful for his kindness.

That is enough about him... I have more merch to show.

This is a BEAUTIFUL postcard I bought for my bestie Jamaine. It is an astral-looking cat, and I thought it was perfect for her.

I also took a photo of merch I really wanted, but could not afford anymore.

The image does not do it justice though, it was printed on metal and the shimmer made it GORGEOUS. There was also one with Mew and Mewtwo where it looked gorgeous because of the moon shimmering.

But lastly merch that I DID buy, including another gift for friends.

On the left a bath bomb shaped like a d20 with an actual dice set inside. Next to that three buttons, one of Lyney, two D&D buttons (bard/warlock) and a gift button in the glowing bag that made me laugh. The plush on the right was a gift for my bestie Jamaine because it reminded me of her cat, they both look like actual void. The nerds candy string was actually a gift from an old friend from college, she worked at an American & Japanese candy stand.

I also took a bath today with this bath bomb, so it was destiny I would make my Comic Con post today. These were the dice inside:

I love them! I was so excited when I saw them haha. These are now my cleanest dice ever, HAHA!

I also wanted to quickly post this last pic of me meeting my internet-friend June. We had never met IRL yet and I have no idea who she is cosplaying, but still!

I was not entirely prepared for the photo haha, I am still wearing my bag, holding my phone etc... but it is what it is hahaha.

I also had onigiri again, and they finally wrote my name right in the other Starbucks than the last three times I went (I spent a lot of money on these toffee nut lattes).

I went for Mimi because of my cosplay instead of Miri, and besides spelling it right, THEY EVEN ADDED A SMILEY. Bless 'em.

So yeah, that is a summary of possibly the best weekend of my life.

Elijah Wood... thank you SO much... for just being you. Being awesome. Reliving this by writing about it is bringing me so much joy.

— WDCC - 2023 - hobbit vibes / Mimi cosplay DCC - 2023 - no real cosplay WDCC - 2022 - scuffed Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC - 2022 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / scuffed Ellie (The Last of Us) RCC 2020 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) WDCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2019 - no report, little happened

DCC 2019 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) / Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) ACC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2018 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) RCC 2018 - Mimi (Digimon) WDCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) DCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) RCC 2017 - Mimi (Digimon) ACC 2016 - Hook (Once Upon A Time) DCC 2016 - Ladybug (Miraculous Ladybug) DCC 2015 - Sunday - Hobbit (Lord of the Rings) DCC 2015 - Saturday - Ellie (The Last of Us)

[happytapirstudio]

Redwall Reread #1: Lord Brocktree

1st in chronological order, 13th in publication order (2001)

(major spoilers under the cut)

Summary: The Badger Lord, Brocktree of Brockhall, journeys to the legendary mountain of his ancestors, Salamandastron, to liberate it from the cruel wildcat tyrant Ungatt Trunn.

Framing Device: A Badger Lord many years after Brocktree's time is sharing this story with the greater Salamandastron community: his wife, two kids, the hares of the Long Patrol, and various seaside neighbors.

The Goodies: Primarily Brocktree (da badger on da quest) and Dotti (a young hare, headed to Salamandastron to visit her aunt.) Along the way they pick up Ruff the river otter, Gurth the mole, and a veritable shitton of other critters, including shrews, hedgehogs, and hares of the regular and mountain variety. Meanwhile, back at the mountain, we've got Brocktree's dad, the elderly Lord Stonepaw, and his host of similarly elderly warrior hares. One of these hares, Fleetscut, is sent on a quest to recruit younger warriors; he is saved and then joined by Jukka and her tribe of squirrels. In the last third of the book, a team of sea otters joins the fight.

The Baddies: Ungatt Trunn (wildcat), leading a horde of vermin (rats, weasels, foxes, etc.) all of which have dyed their fur blue. It is his Blue Horde, and there are a lot of them. There's a major nautical component to the army--they come in on ships, and a lot of their number are former pirates--but Trunn himself is a landlubber from the mountains. Truthfully I don't know where he got this incredibly massive army (arguably the largest in Redwall history), but I'm gonna say it was daddy's money. Notable underlings include the stunted fox magician, Groddil, a ferret called the Grand Fragorl, the rat captain Mirefleck, the stoat captain Fraul, the fox captain Karangool and the searat brothers Ripfang and Doomeye.

The Freakies: CRAB MOMENT 🦀🦀🦀!!! Additionally, a big pike.

The Birdies: A flightless, short-eared owl named Udara Groundslay and a (nonverbal) grey heron named Rulango.

Noteworthy Locations: Primarily Salamandastron and the surrounding coastal area. Also Mossflower Wood, pre-Redwall Abbey. Everything inbetween falls into the category of "somewhat arid open country", though I'd say King Bucko Bigbones' Clearing deserves a special mention as a sort of verdant oasis in all that sad scrubland.

Noteworthy Weapons: My main man Broccoli wields a double-hilted broadsword. With all due respect to the cover artists of both editions, I don't think that's what Mr. Jacques had in mind. I think it looked like a normal sword with a second cross guard on the blade itself. We've also got Tuna's weapon of choice, a three-pronged trident. Very nautical-core of him. Honorable mention to Dotti's carpet bag, swung about with wild abandon, as well as the hareccordion within.

Riddles: None!

Continuity Notes: Brocktree (+ Stonepaw) and Trunn are each part of their own extensive lineage of badgers and wildcats, featured in other books. We've also got a Martin the Warrior cameo (he shows up in one of Brocktree's visions.) Additionally, although Salamandastron and the Badger Lords have already been around for a long time, this book marks the beginning of I guess its "modern" age, with the founding of the Long Patrol.

Other Notes: This is perhaps the one and only Redwall book without a distinctive mouse character. Martin doesn't count, nor do the smattering of mice mentioned once in Bucko's court, as none of them have either a name or a speaking role. Squeaking role, excuse me.

Bonus Note - Homestuck: Trunn is, and I am not shitting you here, Vriska-core. He keeps his ship's stateroom full of spiders and spiderwebs, stocked with flies via the decaying bodies of people who pissed him off. Like the spider-pirate intersection is not one well-traversed in fiction, right? This is not a trope, right?? Also an uncanny coincidence that Trunn's sidekick, the crippled fox, is crippled because Trunn intentionally broke his back as a child. ?!? Alexa play X-files theme

Tapir Takes:

(1) I am a huge fan of the Brocktree-Dotti dynamic (big scary man burdened with the shadow of destiny + a sunny hyperactive little girl who seems apparently oblivious to life's darkness but can in fact dish out some serious ass-kicking.) Unfortunately, this relationship (and several others) are overshadowed by the exponentially increasing cast of characters and the forward momentum of the plot itself.

(2) Realizing for the first time that Redwall does a surprisingly good job at subverting gender roles. Not perfect, but still leagues above many movies and shows that are still coming out in this the year of our lord 2023. The girls can fight about as good as the boys, the boys can cook just like the girls, and nobody in-universe bats an eye. Some of y'all should be taking notes.

(3) Pulling out a quote in chapter 6: "If'n yore bound to take the life of a livin' thing for food, then take only wot you need. Life's too precious a thing t'be wasted." This is said by Ruff as he pulls fish out of the water for dinner. I've wondered about vegetarianism in Redwall before, and although I haven't got much to say on it now, I wanted to mark this passage for later. It's worth noting that fish are non-speaking animals in the Redwall universe.

(3.5) I'd also like to point out that the starving Horde plans to eat their captive hares once they've exhausted Salamandastron's food supply. Is this cannibalism, since the hares can talk and think same as the vermin? It's never explicitly stated in the series, but I think it's pretty clear that the differences between (talking) animals in-universe are more akin to race than species. Anyway, putting a pin in that for now.

(4) On a similar vein, I'm interested in the philosophy of Jukka and her tribe. She and her squirrels live in a patch of woods in the midst of the open grasslands, several days from the shore, but still close enough to consider themselves neighbors. In a world where nearly all non-vermin fight only to defend themselves or the weak, Jukka's squirrels are unusual, in that they fight "for profit". To them, war is a business, a means of acquiring weapons. They kill all and take no prisoners. This is all pretty similar to general vermin philosophy. Perhaps the two main differences here are attitude (vermin are cruel and disloyal even to one another, whereas the squirrels demonstrate compassion for one another and even sometimes strangers) and necessity (vermin tend to steal everything, and are unable to support themselves without exploiting others, while the squirrels really only steal for weapons, and can provide themselves with food, clothes, shelter, etc.) I'm putting a pin in this one too, because the good guy-bad guy dichotomy in Redwall deserves some major analysis, particularly once we get to Taggerung and Outcast of Redwall.

OVERALL: I enjoyed this book tremendously. Bar is high for the rest of the books, but I'm confident they'll measure up. Cheers everyone :D

[devils-pirate-crew]

"My compliments to the chef."

Juraj chuckles, glancing off to the side. "You say that every time, Arbs."

"It's true," Arber grins back, spooning more soup into his mouth. "Every time."

The cook's smile grows wider, a soft, bashful pink tinting his cheeks. "It's not even that good," he mumbles.

His crewmate merely hums, satisfied. "It is to me."

The sound of boots on the deck shakes the ship ever-so-slightly with each step. The hatch is opened and someone hops down below. "Hey, Slaf, X," a familiar voice calls, the owner of said voice rounding the corner.

"Captain!" Juraj stretches out the second syllable, spinning around on his bench to wave at Santé's captain. "Isn't it... early for you to be back?"

Nick Suzuki shrugs, the feather on his cavalier hat bouncing. "I could say the same about you," he replies, leaning on the doorway of the dining hall. "I thought Xhekaj would be out drinking away his salary."

To this, he receives Arber's other middle finger. "Shut it, Suzu. Slaf and I are doing important business here keeping this ship afloat."

Nick chuckles. "Sure you are." His gaze zeroes in on the medicines and bandages on the table. "Let me guess, Slaf tripped on something and you overreacted."

"Well, no - "

"Yep, that's exactly what happened," Juraj bobs his head animatedly, agreeing with gusto as he elbows Arber's side.

"Okay, fine," he relents, rolling his eyes as he gets Juraj's memo to lie about this - and the unconscious pirate on the bench across from them, hidden from their captain's view. "You got me."

Nick sighs. "So predictable. Well, most of the crew's at The Electric Eel right now slinging beers and ale like it's their last day on land. It's not, and with any luck it'll be far from their last, but. I ran into Tuna there."

"Tuna?" Juraj turns around again, having grabbed the roll of bandages and begun winding them around his left palm to keep up the façade. "You're getting us fish for... the next trip?"

The captain shakes his head. "Tuna like the guy who used to be a gunner on our ship," he explains. "That Tuna? He was before your time. Anyways, Tuna's on Jersey Devil now. He told me that apparently their pilot's mate had gone missing a few hours ago after he dropped off some mail to Petey's store. Missing without a trace, not missing as in found a girl to spend the night with. Or a guy, whatever," he tacks on with a look between his two crew members. "The point is - the pilot's mate is gone, and a decent chunk of their crew is worried sick. They said he wasn't the type to leave the ship without letting anyone know."

Juraj and Arber exchange a glance, silently agreeing not to let their secret slide. "Haven't seen him," the gunner shrugs. "We'll let you know if we do? Or should we just catch him and return him to his ship?"

"I don't think you need to kidnap him," the captain closes his eyes. "His name is Dawson. About my height, a little leaner. Apparently he's got gunpowder burns and regular burn scars on a lot of his left side, face, hand, all that, so he's not difficult to pick out of a crowd. You see him, you let me know, or anyone from Jersey Devil. Pirate's honor."

"He's not there against his will, right?" Arber furrows his brow.

"God, no. Nico's not that kind of captain." Nick pauses, contemplating that, then nods, sure of it. "Alright, I'm going back to the tavern. But if you see him, or if any of your spirit friends do - "

"You got it, boss," the gunner salutes, his crewmate laughing as he does. The captain of Santé sighs, waving as he heads back out.

As soon as the sound of Nick's boots dissipates and the captain is off the ship, Juraj looks to Arber, panic in his eyes. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, why did we lie to him? Why did we do that? How are we going to get Dawson out of here without Captain figuring it out and killing us? Or Jersey Devil's crew finding out and capturing us and killing us? Or - "

"Relax," Arber places a hand on Juraj's fake-bandaged one. "I'm sure it'll be fine." He offers a hopefully-reassuring smile, going back to finish his soup and banking that Juraj doesn't call his bluff - that he also has no idea what to do next.