#i like to think that when they're being soft and emotional with each other they'll use these cutesy petnames

[acearohippo]

Oh yeah, Tang Xuan absolutely called Li Ling after he sent this message

You can't tell me that Tang Xuan left the convo at that.

I held my shipping self back with my previous posts but no longer. Take this fic, I might post this on ao3 later this week because it's... actually pretty long.

AO3 Link:

Ship: Li Ling/Tang Xuan

Rating: T, for language

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: They're just chatting on the phone being cute and whatever.

[[I'm glad you're safe tho... you scared the hell outta me]]

Tang Xuan sighs, a bit dreamily. His boyfriend can be so cute, it’s unfair. He’s by himself, in one of the lounging rooms found in New Mylo Marshall’s station. It’s been repurposed as a temporary room for him to rest in, not that Tang Xuan has been able to use it as such. Giving himself only three days to resolve the truth behind the collapsing Miracle, Javid’s role in it, and the frequent Miramon waves plaguing New Mylo has left him no time to relax for more than a few minutes at a time.

He starts typing out a reply but pauses. He has nowhere to go for the half an hour and it has been a while since he got to hear his boyfriend’s voice. Not that Tang Xuan needs an excuse to call Li Ling, his thumb already hitting the “Call” button and happily getting cosy on the couch as he waits for his boyfriend to pick up. The call doesn’t even ring once before he hears the tell tale click of the person on the other side picking up the call. Tang Xuan’s heart swells and he can’t stop the grin forming on his face.

“Babydoll, you better be calling me to tell me exactly where you are so I can come get you.” Li Ling’s low monotone drawls out. Tang Xuan tenses up, recognising the signs of an emotional shutdown. His happy mood fades as he assesses the situation. The fact that Li Ling answered his call, means they still have time before any social withdrawals. He doesn’t sound any different from usual, only a bit more flat in his speech. Hearing his voice does reconceptualise his text. Tang Xuan takes a moment to calm his racing heart and thinks quickly.

First, he needs to make sure Li Ling doesn’t try to come get him. Because he will, he seriously will leave wherever he is, find him (somehow), and- if he can’t take Tang Xuan with him- he’ll latch himself to Tang Xuan and not leave. Tang Xuan loves working with his boyfriend, but this case requires a lot more finesse and critical thinking than Li Ling’s impatience is willing to handle. Not to mention the time limit and what’s at stake will annoy Li Ling and cause him to make rash decisions that may negatively impact everything. Li Ling jumps to conclusions too often, and while Tang Xuan will admit he does too, Li Ling doesn’t stop to question those conclusions, not unless someone directly challenges it and he’s given time to reflect on it. Three days is not enough time for Li Ling to process something of this magnitude, Tang Xuan is still trying to wrap his head around Javid's cruel decision and how it doesn't quite fit the man who protected him in the desert, even if he was a bit of a douche about it.

“They sent me to New Mylo.” Answer his questions honestly. When Li Ling gets like this, it’s better to answer succinctly. Tang Xuan is grateful they’re voice calling, as he can easily pitch his voice to sound calm and casual. He lets a bit of the past day’s frustration leak into his voice when he continues. “You would not believe the crap that’s happening here, babe.” Tang Xuan waits for Li Ling’s response. He isn’t trying to change the topic, that never works with Li Ling for long anyway, but he is trying to gauge how far along Li Ling’s fatigue is, to better help his boyfriend out.

“New Mylo? Isn’t that the place that’s about to get wiped out by the new miracle shit? The celestial anomaly thing the higher ups won’t shut up about?” Li Ling goes quiet for a bit, though he isn’t idle. Tang Xuan can hear him tapping away at his screen. “You’re like, a few hours away by plane… I could get to you in less than 5 minutes if I use my ring… Are these photos up to date?” Li Ling mutters to himself and Tang Xuan sighs. Looks like he’s still focused on getting to him. Tang Xuan wonders if Li Ling even realises he’s smack dab in the middle of the small town that’s in danger of being wiped out, thus being in danger himself. Not that Tang Xuan is nervous, but it’s good that Li Ling didn’t make that connection just now. The more he talks, the flatter his voice becomes and realising the danger Tang Xuan is in could be the last straw that sends him into a non-responsive, hyper-sensitive mess.

So, Tang Xuan goes for a different tactic, switching positions on the couch to get more comfortable. “I could send you pictures if you want.” He’s still going to try to keep Li Ling there, but sometimes agreeing with his spontaneous needs can help him calm down faster. “But, I don’t think Raven will be happy if you suddenly show up on my mission.”

Li Ling scoffs. “Like I give a crap what she’ll think. What was she thinking sending you on your own there?”

“I mean, I did resolve the Crow issue practically on my own.” Tang Xuan still thinks it was weird how Tevor leftmost of the sleuthing to him. He brought the cat man with him specifically so he could sniff out the crow leader, yet Tang Xuan ended up gathering most of the clues and coming to the final conclusion of both the present mystery and the past mystery that caused the cruise events to happen. Waste of a favour and money, that was. “It only took me a few days, too! I think Raven and the others starting to see my worth, putting me on all these high, erm, ranked missions.” Tang Xuan almost slipped up and said high stakes. He bites his lip to prevent himself from rambling on. Fortunately, Li Ling doesn’t notice his almost slip up, mumbling affirmative sounds to show that he’s only partially paying attention to Tang Xuan.

Tang Xuan pouts, tapping a finger against his cheek as he thinks of a way to break Li Ling’s concentration. “Oh! If you come here, we can do a road trip back to Gyrate.” Tang Xuan grins as the other line goes completely silent. He can practically hear Li Ling processing what he just said.

“What? No, absolute not! That’s our anniversary date plans, we aren’t moving those up.” Li Ling, finally, sounds a bit more lively. Tang Xuan digs in deeper.

“Weellll, if you come here, Raven’ll wonder why you’re here, and saying it’s because I’m here isn’t going to fly with her.”

“Screw her.” Li Ling sounds like a petulant child, grumbling under his breath.

”So we’re going to need to come up with a valid excuse. You got any besides an impromptu desert tour, babe?” The grumbling on the other end continues.

“But we are doing a road trip for our anniversary… what does New Mylo even have?” Tang Xuan wishes Li Ling was next to him, because he just knows he’s making that cute confused face, eyes rolling up and brows furrowing in thought.

“There’s lots of stuff we can do down here… maybe.” Tang Xuan sounds chipper, a genuine grin spreading across his face as he realises he’s got Li Ling. The man might hate rules, but he hates changing plans even more. “They have these sand glider vehicles I’m sure we can get a hold of.”

“And then we can, what, ride around the barren landscape?”

“Aaannnd, we can fight miramon.” Tang Xuan suggests, picking at his braid. He’s going to need a trim soon. “Hey it’s just a suggestion. You could also just wait a couple more weeks and then you’ll have me all to yourself.” Throwing his braid back over the backside of the couch, he rests his head on the cushion and prays that Li Ling will take the bait.

“Hn. You’re changing the subject. I want to see you now.” Oof, yes he is but he needs to convince Li Ling he isn’t.

“I really want to see you too.” Tang Xuan coughs, not expecting to say it so emotionally. But it’s true that he does. Him and Li Ling are almost never separate for more than a week at a time, and they especially don’t go hours between talking to each other. It’s something that leaves Tang Xuan feeling warm and soft inside, even after years of knowing Li Ling, and almost a year of dating him, how strongly they are still attracted to each other. It doesn’t feel overbearing, not like his childhood did- constantly being a unit with his younger brother. Everything they did was done together and any attempts at individualising himself never lasted long. Tang Yun could, and would, easily join whatever activity or hobby Tang Xuan would sign up for. It didn’t help that they were equally good at everything, despite having differing personalities.

Tang Xuan loves his brother, but he hated being overlooked for who he was. He never wanted to be a part of a pair again.

Until Li Ling came along and, gradually, all he wanted was to be matched with him. It felt different. They did many things together, but he was still Tang Xuan and Li Ling was still Li Ling. Sure, sometimes he was “Li Ling’s boyfriend” but Li Ling was also “Tang Xuan’s boyfriend” and it is exhilarating to him every time. Perhaps this is what those cheeky aunties meant when they would tell his younger self to “wait until he’s older” whenever he would declare he’d remain single his whole life. Being an item with Li Ling just carried differently than being “the Twins”. He is still himself even when he yearns to be plastered to Li Ling.

Damn, he loves this bastard.

“I want to see you so bad, Ling-Ling.” Tang Xuan continues, feeling a little embarrassed to hear it echo in the small room back to him. “And that’s what's getting me through this mission. We’re only a few weeks away from out 1st year anniversary, the places I want to go with you, the things I want to see with you, and do with you and do to you! I have been looking forward to it since you decided to stage a prison break for your former mentor.”

Li Ling has been quietly listening the whole time, and sighs softly between the break in Tang Xuan’s monologue. “Hou hou… You’re too damn cute.”

“Says the man who said he was worried about me after pretending he’s only been fighting miramon.” Tang Xuan teases.

“I was fighting miramon.” Li Ling says, and now he sounds like his usual self, even if his voice is still low.

“Why were you fighting miramon? You aren’t on miramon duty for the next month?” Raven might’ve been impressed by the corruption Li Ling and him revealed among the Tangton Correctional Centre, but they had to do press conferences and PR events for a week due to Li Ling’s outburst in front of the station going viral. Raven can be a petty boss.

“I’m still not on miramon duty.”

Tang Xuan waits for him to continue. Silence answers him instead and all Tang Xuan can do is sigh. “Please don’t get yourself in trouble before I get back. We’ve been planning this anniversary for months.”

“Don’t even, I should be saying that to you! You were supposed to be on vacation this whole month, what happened to that?” Li Ling spikes the accusation back.

“It’s not my fault! I swear I put in those vacation days, but when I checked I didn’t see them…” Tang Xuan still questions himself. He knows he pressed the submit button and he’s sure he received a message a day later that his time was approved, but when he pulled it up after splitting ways with Li Ling and Yun Chuan, he was shocked to see his schedule was filled again and none of the days he requested were blocked off. Even scarier, the message he received was gone. He had to go back and forth with HR for two days to clear up his schedule, again, and request the vacation but, by then, Raven had already tasked him with investigating the Crows on the cruise ship.

Tang Xuan hears tapping again. “Ling-Ling, what are you doing?”

“Making a note to talk to HR.”

“Why?”

“Because, when you come back, hou hou, I’m going to take you, fling you over my shoulder, and we’re just leaving. The note will be a warning not to interfere with us.”

“… Please don’t threaten anyone to give us a vacation.”

“I’m not. I’m promising them that they’ll regret screwing up your vacation with me.” He stops typing, sounding satisfied. Tang Xuan is now worried for a different reason, but a tapping on the door and Malik’s stern face peaking between the cracks, alerts him that he needs to return to the mission. Tang Xuan can only pray to the Sun that Li Ling will control himself and stay out of trouble.

“I have to go now, are we good?” Tang Xuan waves a hand at Malik to let him know he’s wrapping up his conversation. Malik nods in understanding and leaves him alone again.

“Yeah, we’re more than good, babydoll. Hmm, hey do me a favour before you go.” Li Ling sounds mischievous for some odd reason. Tang Xuan hums to show he’s listening. “Don’t tell anyone you have your phone back yet for the next two, three-ish, maybe six hours.”

“What? Six hours?? Why? If you were worried, the rest of our friends are so I don’t want to keep them in the dark.”

“Be-caauuusee,” Li Ling practically purrs, gleefully. “To make me feel better about you being MIA, Leora is taking me to a spice market nearby to try out Tangton candies,” Tang Xuan bites his lip to keep from gasping in pitied-shock. Tangton candies are lies in a wrapper. They aren’t sweet like candy, they’re just glazed balls of pure fire and agony. “And, after, Lewis is gonna treat me at my favourite grill joint.” Once again, Tang Xuan winces in sympathy. The food from that restaurant is delicious, but Li Ling always wants to sit right in front of hibachi grill and watch live as his favourite appetiser, skewered spiced-chili peppers, are grilled. Tang Xuan let him sit them there once and the smoke that came from those peppers hospitalised him as it clogged his nostrils and burned his eyes. As far as Tang Xuan knows, no one asides from him knows about the danger of letting Li Ling choose the seats. Tang Xuan sends a silent prayer out to Lewis, and hopes that his flaming hair will somehow render him immune to the effects of the spicey smoke. “And then after that, the boys and I are finally going to have an ultimate dodgeball competition!” Tang Xuan doesn’t even try to stop the grunt of disappointment from escaping, his hand audibly smacking against his forehead. Why do his friends become stupid the moment he leaves? They should know better not to encourage any sort of competitive sport with Li Ling, especially when there are balls concerned. Whatever damage they sustain, it’s on their heads.

Tang Xuan should warn his friends, but…

“It looks like I’m being sent out to look for more clues, so it might just be several hours before I post anything, anyway.” Tang Xuan has yet to see Leora lose her cool demeanour and it’s always fun to tease Lewis. “Send me pictures of Leora and Lewis enjoying the experience.”

“Deal, talk to you later, babydoll.” Tang Xuan returns his goodbye and ends the call. Refreshed, he gets off the couch and stretches. He has three days to wrap up this whole fiasco and he’s more motivated than ever to get it done.

[fire-lizard-ro]

Ratio as a dad (kinda). Written for my dear @pix3lplays (they already saw this when I initially wrote it).

CW: none it’s all fluff (kinda)

Reader gender: no use of pronouns (as far as I remember) but AFAB

Writing under the cut (SFW):

So when you tell him, he doesn't know how the hell to feel. You guys never really had the children talk, but you could tell that he wasn't really ready for that because of a mix of being too busy, not really understanding children, and never really thinking about it.

To him, children are snot-nosed, loud, emotional little gremlins.

But he never thought about children in the context of you and him. A child born of your flesh and blood. Something you have made together through the miracle (or simple science, as Veritas would say) of procreation.

It would take him a while to think of it that way.

Initially, since this is in the scenario where you're already married, I think that he would be fine with it so long as you're happy with it. He does his logical reasoning and thinks, "Oh. I have the means to raise a child and she wants it." So he doesn't really see a problem with it besides perhaps the stress it will inevitably put on you and having to deal with the messy and emotional rollercoaster ride that is children.

At some point while laying in bed with you after weeks of reading prenatal care and child rearing books, he begins to get curious. Curious about what it would really be like to father a child that the both of you made. That's how things start. Curiosity.

Would the child look like you? He would like that if they could resemble his lovely spouse.

Would they look like him? He would also like this as there would be no doubting who the father of your child was. A reminder of how the two of you were undeniably together.

Would they look like the both of you? He would enjoy this outcome the most as it would be the best of both options.

Would they have his intelligence that he prides himself on? Your smile that he loves, even if quietly?

Because of this process of beginning to be curios and thinking about the child yet to be born, it's not hard for him to subconsciously relate good feelings (and chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, he'd think) to the child themself.

You're happy when you talk about the child and what you'll do for them and how you'll care for them. He's happy when you're happy. He's pleased when thinking about how people will be able to see a physical manifestation of your love and belonging with each other. You're happy to be having his child. He's happy about that, too.

While your feelings regarding the child is like a warm spring day or a cup of hot tea just boiled, his are more mild, still. Like your tea, already cooled, or a warm blanket. There are positive feelings involved now, and even he cannot deny it (at least to himself).

He takes care of you well, following the advice of the books and experts to the T. Perhaps a little too closely because it's a bit overprotective. You're his. Which also means it's in his obligation to take care of you well.

But when the child is born... I think there's at least a spark there. I'm not sure it's enough to light that flame quite yet, but now... He realizes that this really is his child. His and yours. He has your pretty eyes but with his color. The curl of your hair and the slope of his nose. Oh. Oh...

This child...

As the years go on and he spends time caring for the child and spending time with them, he begins to find all these little endearing things about them. How they'll seek him out even in sleep. How they'll smile at him happily, the slant of it so much like yours. How they'll crawl and eventually waddle their way to him when they begin to cry... Even just the fact that he spends time with them is enough to grow this bond. And at some point, they're off to school and it's clear they did, indeed, have his intelligent mind. But they're far more soft around the edges. Much more susceptible to the inherent loneliness, boredom, and ridicule, even, that comes with such intelligence.

But... he gets it. He never really thought anyone understood him at that age and for him? It was lonely but he was irritated by it more than anything. He had thicker skin than his child at that age.

So when they come to him about it all, he can only try his best to let them know he gets it even if he doesn't know how to express such a thing.

Ever heard the saying, "Even a beast will love its child?"

He’s not a nice person. His personality is rough and no one would ever think he could be suited to something as delicate as fatherhood.

And yet…

While he's not one for grand gestures, I think the kid would be able to see he cares.

It's in the little things for him.

Talking about the things they're interested in at school.

Telling them about his work and the things he researches. Being patient with them unlike how he is with his students. ("They are grown. But you are not," he would say with a short pat to the head before going back to checking over their homework with care.)

Rewarding them for their achievements, even if it's with something small.

All sorts of small things.

(He'll never admit it, but you have a picture of the two napping while the kid was sprawled against his side, head tucked into his neck.)

Anyways ofisjgeo yeah-

Hopefully this isn’t too delusional goodbye- I was trying to make him a Relatively Good Dad for Pix while also making sure he was still mostly in-character. OTL

[yayll]

~ a little something about you and Dazai trying to love each other a little bit less ~

It's Sakura season, and it's not being shared with someone you love. That's fine, you think to yourself as you sit on the bench, the sunset overlooks the port and you have the park to yourself. The fragile petals fall all around you, covering you in flakes of pink, like snow that won't melt. Though they will shrivel up, you think that might be worse than the instant loss of a melting snowflake. The thing about snowflakes is they melt upon warm contact but these petals won't melt at the touch of cold nor warmth, they'll lie there until their beauty fades along with what's left of their fleeting life. You stare at one in particular as it lands into your coffee cup, floating at the top instead of sinking.

That's what it was like to be in love with Osamu Dazai, and what it was like to sense his dreadful presence approaching you like the wind billows on a starless night. You ignore him, staring down at your coffee cup like it's going to save you, knowing it won't. In your peripheral vision, he looks spectral, and you catch a wave trying to get you to look up along with a familiar voice that reeks of faux friendliness.

"Are you always this avoidant when people try to greet you?"

You bite the soft flesh inside of your cheek, gripping your coffee just a bit tighter, unresponsive.

He continues, hands tucked into his coat and a smirk on his face.

"The blooms are nice today, eh? At their peak. Thought I'd stop by to enjoy them but it seems someone's already taken my favorite bench. At my favorite spot. What a shame."

After another long pause, his voice loses the playful edge and he says your name in a firm tone. This causes you to finally snap to attention, eyes wide and as fragile as those petals that shower you both. He smiles once more, but it's uglier this time, mocking. You mirror him by calling out to him right back, a hint of bitterness in your voice.

"Dazai."

He steps closer, towering over you. He always thought you looked best when you were looking up at him. It would almost sting that you're using his last name if it weren't for the fact that it sounded so good coming out of your mouth. He leans down to you just a tad bit.

"Sooo flustered..."

"I'm not flustered."

It's a joy to know he can still make you feel something, you were always wearing your heart on your sleeve, and your emotions on your precious little face. He sighs dramatically, waving his arms around.

"Mhm, sure you're not. You're lying... And it's honestly boring me to death! And I love death!"

You look away towards the port and roll your eyes, a quiet scoff escaping you along with it.

"Oh, so we're doing this."

It's almost like they're flirting, he thinks. Just like old times, maybe. It sends a thrill down his spine.

"Yes. We are."

You smile faintly, but it disappears just as fast as it materialized.

"I'll head out now and leave you to your favorite bench at your favorite spot, then."

He doesn't even allow you the chance to stand up before he shifts to stand fully in your way, imposing himself with an unreadable expression on his face that's hiding his real thoughts.

"Stay here a minute, I'd like to ask you a tiny little thing."

You tilt your head, the way you used to every time he perplexed you with some nonsense he'd spew out either to toy with you or when he'd say those three poisonous words you could never handle hearing from him.

"Dazai, I don't know if that's wise..."

He knew what you meant by that, because if you stayed like all the other times, you'd never leave. He sees the effect he has on you and he uses that to his advantage. His voice softens, something you aren't used to anymore.

"... But will you do it anyway? Stay here?"

You bite the corner of your lip and sigh... Of course you do.

"I guess... I will."

His eyes narrow and he fights back a smile at the thought of being able to stump you like this.

He's not sure where he's going with this but he's sure he'll think of something to say, he just wants to keep talking to you a little longer. He invades your personal space, and almost reaches out to place a hand on your face but decides not to, opting to keep the unbalanced dynamic going. You breathe out, unable to handle the silence, your cheeks already turning pink.

"Seems to me like you're stalling."

He observes you knowing how desperate you are to hear what he has to say, enjoying the moment of simply holding your gaze when he really should think of what the hell to ask you. He becomes dangerously close, his voice taking on a velvety approach with that lazy smile you love so much.

"Me? I'm doing nothing of the sort."

You look down at your shoes shamefully, something that would have made you so giddy to hear before now just feels like a slap to the face. Your eyes flicker to the way his hands now rest at his sides and it makes you wish they were wrapped around your neck instead. It all causes you to mumble without thinking.

"You always want to stop me from something... You keep me frozen in time."

He tilts his head, finally reaching out to take your hand but when you don't meet him halfway he settles for hooking his pinky around yours instead. He won't move it until you do first.

"Is that so bad? To be frozen by me?"

You're losing this battle, you know that because you can feel your heartbeat in your pinky when he tightens it just a little but it's enough to feel him invade you even further. He feels it too.

"I wish I thought it were..." You say, lamely.

"Why don't you, then?"

He asks quickly, amused. He squeezes your pinky harder and it's starting to cut your circulation off. You look back up with that ridiculously innocent face that always made him want to jump into the river, you didn't even know how precious you looked that way.

"You know why, Osamu."

Oh it's like a shot to the heart when you switch to his first name. How dare you. He wishes you'd say it under different circumstances because he doesn't like this one. That, plus the urge to mock you for your emotions always being so damn sincere causes his gaze to shift. It's less playful now as he stares into your eyes, his voice going low.

"... I don't think I do."

You bite the inside of your cheek again and taste blood from how hard you're holding back the urge to just. Go. But you can't and you won't. It's the same doomed story over and over again.

You murmur with pathetic longing.

"No, you never seem to."

He's figured out his question, and he figures why he's holding your pinky like he's a tourniquet and you're bleeding out, but he doesn't intend on saving you, he's not that kind of guy.

It's dark now, and the Sakura petals are slowing down their fall to death, almost afraid to interrupt the tension going on here. He nods towards you, amused.

"Please, enlighten me."

You look away, a sad smile on your face.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough for that tonight."

He knows that, and you're stupid if you don't think he knows every single little thing about you. This is all just a review. This is all just his way of making sure you haven't moved on this time for sure.

"Aww, look at you, unable to resist me.~"

He mocks you, yet moves his over hand to the small of your back to really make sure you stay here with him. You instantly regret letting your heart speak for you when you said you'd stay earlier. You frown, eyes glistening as the moon makes its presence known. The moon doesn't care to interrupt you two, but somehow it feels like it's on Dazai's side more than anything.

You shake your head, sighing.

"You're being mean. You should be home tonight and so should I."

He keeps staring into you, thinking how beautiful you look when you become so vulnerable around him. He finally releases your pinky, unable to take it anymore, and cups the side of your face instead while the other one still stays on your back. He shrugs and sighs as well, though it sounds more like an imitation of one.

"Perhaps I should be home. But I don't feel like it. Neither do I feel like letting you scurry away."

This causes you to purse your lips and knit your brows together, your patience running out from his games. He should have taken you out back and put you out of your misery ages ago, it's not too late, you think.

"Then what do you propose we do?"

"Hmm... Will you let me kiss you?" He asks as if this were the first time he's ever done it. As if he were concluding a successful first date. Your lip quivers, and he can feel you tremble.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

When you don't reply, he moves his face until his cheek is against yours and whispers into your ear.

"Are you going to say anything, silly? Or can I take this as a yes?"

You finally breathe out, the shock somewhat subsiding. You don't think twice, you're just as pathetic as you've always been. But so is he for asking.

"Kiss me."

You said yes. He gets what he wants from you, thank god. He won't tell you that just this morning he had a dream, or rather a revelation of you letting him kiss you. That he blew off his duties at the agency and visited every single place you used to frequent together until he found you here to make the prophecy come true. That this is a selfish attempt at getting not just that kiss, but your entire being. Your noses touch, and he whispers once more.

"Are you sure about that? You don't sound so sure, little thing."

You swallow hard, and your voice comes out meek and soft.

"I always am."

"Even now?"

He doesn't even wait for your reply before he's closing the distance between you, locking your lips together and sealing you against him, as if worried after all this time you'd still try to move away and leave. The kiss lasts longer than it was intended to, but eventually Dazai removes himself from you, he couldn't bear it if you did so first. You never would, you think to yourself. His gaze is genuinely soft now, his cruelty melting away like a snowflake, but you're dying in his arms like the petal.

"You've always known I'm yours, right? And you're mine?"

You want to cry when he says that, if only it truly was that mutual.

"I want it to be that way, but it seems you only kiss me when no one's around."

The empty outdoor space that envelops them, along with the waves rhythmically crashing against the port punctuates the silence that follows after. Dazai breaks the pause, something about what you just said bothering him deeply.

"If I kissed you when everyone was around, wouldn't they start to look?"

He knows that's terrible thing to say to you, but doesn't want to admit that the thought of others seeing him happy makes him feel like it's an omen, that the second he openly recognizes he's yours you won't stay his for very long. That it will all be a dream from another world. You scoff as you look away, your eyes stinging.

"Mmm... You're funny."

"I'm serious, me being in a relationship? Imagine that. I think the whole agency would be at a standstill. How scandalous."

He doesn't mean that, but he doesn't know why he can't stop pretending he doesn't have feelings and just speak the truth. Surprisingly, you crack a small smile at that, trying to find humor in the fact that you'll never figure him out.

"They'd all think you're looney, which you are."

"That's an understatement! They'd think I'm deranged for letting such a cute person take me away from my very important duties.~"

He plays along with your sarcasm, what matters is you're cooperating.

"They'd all say I'm too good for you, anyway. Especially Kunikida." You really make sure that one hurts, but all he shows is a sly grin.

"It's just better if people don't know we're together, right?"

You look away, the moon's fully illuminating you both.

"It's better not to be together at all, Osamu."

Your words actually hurt like a knife to the chest, and once he goes there, he can't stop it. You weren't supposed to make such a permanent statement. He narrows his eyes, but his voice remains soft, desperate even.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what I mean, I'm not some secret you keep."

He somehow recovers and replies as smug as possible.

"I like you that way. Frozen in time, remember? The prettiest ice sculpture for me to adore for all eternity.... What else do you want me to say?"

You wince at that.

"Just say anything. Can you say it? Can you at least tell me you loved me at one point in time?"

That does it for him. You look so sad, you look so pliable and it's so attractive, but he's not looking to exploit that anymore tonight. It brings out something else. Something he can't take back.

"You do know I don't ever want anyone else, right? It was real to me then, and it's real to me now. Don't be dense."

He didn't notice the tears in your eyes before, the way they glisten thanks to the moon who's always on his side. He's stern when he speaks to you, his eyes locked on yours to make sure you get it through you stubborn little skull how devoted he has always been and always will be, even if he doesn't show it in the way you want him to.

You're irritated and enamored as you sniffle.

"And what am I supposed to do with that information, huh?"

He speaks above a whisper, you barely hear it yourself; It might as well be an auditory hallucination. His face is solemn, matching yours for once. He's not hiding anything right now.

"Keep it close to your heart and be mine..."

He clears his throat, and moves his other hand from your back to the other side of your face, fully holding you, making sure you have no escape.

"... I'm all yours, so be all mine. Okay?"

"We really are the same kind of stupid, Osamu... Now what?"

You say with a scoff that turns into a small laugh, your voice remaining bittersweet even in between sniffles.

"Now?" His voice trails off, humming as he pretends to think. There was never another outcome to this story, he was never going to say anything different. It's just the way he prophesied it. The way it's meant to be.

"Now you're going to take me home. We're going to get back to your place, and you'll reintroduce me to your very cold and lonely bed I've missed so much as I hold you forever and ever. You'll have no choice but to fall madly in love with me again, as I am with you. Done."

He drops your face and takes your hand properly now, hoping to lead you away into the night. He knows he doesn't deserve this, so he has to make it count.

He's hoping you won't find him crass and reject his request, he doesn't mean to be so blunt. He's just a desperate idiot who refuses to see another season change without you.

When Dazai says he misses intimacy with you, it's because he does. It's because he wants to tell you that this is the last time the cycle repeats itself, this is how he ends it but he needs you to want it too. You stare at him in disbelief at first, your hollow breathing now becoming shaky with each inhale. You choose to believe him, something in his face tells you he's being real for once. Besides, you already have nothing, so you can't lose anything.

"... Then lie in it again. Convince me."

You tuck a strand of his messy bangs that frame his face behind his ear, and you realize how pretty he looks this way. You never noticed he could be even more devastating than usual. You hope he'll keep letting you push it back like this.

He smiles, his voice dropping to a pleading tone at your reverent touch. At your mercy.

"Oh, I plan on it. We've made it this far. Even if it wasn't mutual anymore, it doesn't make it any less true... at least not for me. And just so you know, I did love you at one point in time, and I love you now, you fool."

You look down once again at the fallen petals at your feet already turning brown, and you realize this won't be you tonight, or ever again. You realize there is meaning in all of this and you won't be the snowflake nor the petal, you're going to be Dazai's. You squeeze his hand back, the corner of your lip curling up as you both walk away under the moonlight.

[chimerical-daydreams]

Hiiiiii for that pre king wish au. Is Loop going to deal with the repercussions of Siffrin always drifting and never finding an anchor? He was just a traveller, moving forward day by day, with nothing new or exciting to live for... until he met the family :3 BUT NOT WITHOUT THE KING-

OK SO. i have Many Thoughts about this, so bare with me here.

Loop, having gone through the Same Two Days for so long they've lost count of time, has a complicated relation with predictability and stagnation. On one hand, if nothing changes, then they can just follow the script, and they'll know what to expect. On the other hand, they'd rather die than be stuck repeating the same lines over and over again, not after finally being freed. And now, by a twist of fate, they're face to face with the past version of the monster they were fighting so hard to defeat.

I think, at first, they stick around as a helpful "guiding figure" while they sort through their own feelings and decide if they're gonna kill this guy or not. After much deliberation and one failed murder attempt, they decide to let him be. Unfortunately for them, in this time they've grown attached to the sobbing wet cat of a man they were stuck with (the King is actually very similar to Siffrin in this AU, so he probably hits a soft spot within Loop, that remembers the horrible feeling of confusion when they first landed in Vaugarde).

After the emotional tumult settles, I think that King intends to go to Corbeaux as per cannon, and Loop (without any better things to do), follows. On the way there, though, they pass by Bambouche, and Loop is hit by the Dread as they watch a slightly younger Bonnie with their sister run by them without giving them a second glance (well, they do look their way, but with confusion and curiosity instead of recognition). That's when it hits Loop that no one in their family is ever going to meet each other because the disaster they bonded over never happens.

I'm still mulling over how I'm gonna make this happen, but I want Loop to put the gang back together with the King's help (maybe on the pretense of finding more about the forgotten nation?). Loop clings to this purpose like a goddamn lifeline, because otherwise, as you mentioned, they would just go back to wandering aimlessly, stumbling around in a land that is not theirs. They want their happy ending because, after All of This? They deserve it.

(On an addendum, there is also a Siffrin in this AU, back when they still kept his hair dyed black.)

(On a second note, I'm currently making those in-game character profiles for the ones who don't have them yet - Loop, King and Nille - so. Uh. There is more to come 👍)

[shakingparadigm]

Hiiii!!! I’m relatively new to ALNST (as in I watched it all in one go in one night and cried) and I was wondering if you have any opinions or information about this,

What do you think about Till and Sua’s relationship? Do you think they’d share anything in common? Do you think they’d like each other? I’d like to think there’s at least one thing they share in common that’s led to be on good terms.

Sorry this is a bit long, thank you!

First of all, thank you anon. I've had thoughts on this for a while! Thanks for giving me a chance to talk about it!

Till and Sua don't often interact in canon, so it's pretty easy to assume that Sua would hate Till's guts because of his crush on Mizi (especially since that art of Mizi playing with Till includes Sua looking jealous on the side, sulking in the next page).

But something to note about the characters in ALNST is that they're actually quite respectful of each other despite the crush conflict (further seen by Ivan and Mizi being very friendly despite Ivan knowing Till loves Mizi). Everyone in the garden knew Till had a crush on Mizi, the goodbye notes state that it was very obvious.

Yet despite that one instance of Sua pouting at Mizi and Till together, Sua is never shown to dislike Till. In fact, she seems to be more conflicted with Ivan instead. In the few official arts we have of them together, they seem pretty neutral.

(Sua's collar is green, showing she's comfortable/doesn't mind Till. Till's collar is orange most likely because he's a little nervous/awkward.)

In the official Anakt Kit goodbye letters, Till and Sua write messages to each other. They're short and seem more of a polite gesture than an actual goodbye between friends, but nothenless it shows that they're pretty amicable. Till writes that Sua has a nice voice and that he hopes she gets a high score in Alien Stage, while Sua tells him to take care and that she'll see him there.

I think that Sua and Till actually have the potential to be pretty good friends, strangely enough.

As for similarities, there are quite a few!

The most significant similarity I see between Till and Sua is that they're both deeply sensitive. Due to this, they've developed different defense mechanisms in order to protect their feelings.

Till is actually known to be timid, rather closed off and "cold" to others. In an early stream, he's even stated to be the most timid character of the cast. He only reveals his energetic and fiery side when he's putting his full passion into something like performing his music, when he's provoked, or whenever Mizi is involved (she makes him "strong", the creators say). Of course this standoffish and aggressive behavior is a front for his softer, more vulnerable feelings. He was heavily mistreated as a child, which led him to become distrustful of most people. This plus other factors regarding his rebellious nature and more eccentric personality result in him being a "friendless idiot". Of course, once people get to know him they'll find that Till is actually quite the sweetheart, albeit a bit awkward.

Sua is quite similar in this way. The creators describe her as soft-hearted, which is why she tears up so quickly in the IvanSua comic and the aforementioned art of Till and Mizi playing together.

Sua, just like Till, seems to be mistreated by her alien guardian. Although to a less violent extent than Guardian Urak, Sua's parent is seen to aggressively handle her without care, grabbing her by the head and shoving her forward. She's also placed in uncomfortable clothing and neglected without consideration for her own feelings. It may be due to this cold and lonely upbringing that Sua learned to hide her emotions as a coping mechanism.

It's been said that getting to know more about Sua is very difficult, as she's closed off and only ever opens up to Mizi. She seems cold on the surface, but the truth is she is hiding her sensitivity so that she won't get hurt. Sua is also very timid in nature, seen in how she only writes in the corners of people's yearbook pages with small font, putting in extra effort to not take up too much space.

But just like Till, Sua has her bolder side. Occasionally she's known to say very blunt and suprising things that other people would not expect of her, and she feels very deeply for the people she cares about. Sua may be the more cool and collected half of MiziSua, but we must not forget that she was tender-hearted to the point where she could not imagine living a life without Mizi in it, thus her sacrifice.

Both Sua and Till's original colors are white, and both are the only characters in the main cast who have ear piercings/earrings. They're both prone to tears and play the role of "god" in their respective relationships.

Something I really like about the ALNST offrec/actor AU is that among all the characters, Till and Sua were chosen to be the seniors!! I found it really cute! Sua, who is the most petite and smallest of the cast + Till, who in canon is the youngest in age. These two are actually the experienced seniors of the actor AU! It's so fun to me lol

Anyways, sorry for all of this, maybe it was a bit much, haha. Till and Sua are my two favorites, and I've always seen similarities between the two of them. I think there's similarities across several of the characters in ALNST, actually, which I hope to talk about in the future!

Thank you for the ask!!

[patoslover]

Sorry this is kinda long.... I would have liked to share this in the discord server, it's a more private way, but then the lockdown happened and I don't think I can wait any longer to show this.

Ok so.... Yesterday night, I got a bit emotional over my life and a little reflecting on what has happened the past month or so and how it affected me and all [10khaos, maggots discord sv, 15khaos, apocalypselockdown, among others] (as I always do, I'm such a soft-ass (I do hope that made up word doesn't mean anything flirty I'm trying to lowkey insult myself in here tyvm English)) And so as I always do when emotions hit, I wrote a poem-kinda-thing.

I showed it to @lxvenderjewel and @falling-raine and this happened

And later @the-beard-of-edward-teach saw it and well....

I made changes to it since I showed it to them, but it's for better, trust me.

(the poem is at the bottom of the post woo)

I think that's enough of a warning for y'all. But just in case, this made people cry, this poem, it's very very dear to me in levels I can't write I can't explain I can't put into poems all the feelings and stuff, but I hope this poem makes up for the most part.

Be careful. I love you.

Thank you @the-beard-of-edward-teach @arkytiorlecter @voids-ideas @orpiknight @cawdra @apollos-dodgeball-target @obsessed-sketches @zonzolik @dashoulinas-fandom-dump @eybefioro @queermarzipan @lxvenderjewel @ivory--raven @styx142 @myfranticscribbles @empressumbreon @frogs-go-ribbit @thearoacemess @goodomensduh @sounds-void-fishy @arkytiorlecter @random-doctor-on-the-internet @apophid-I-eat-everything @achilles-in-a-blanket-burrito @hello-ello-ello @harbinger-of-existential-dread @howmanyholesinswisscheese @an-ace-on-the-case @goblin-named-sam @1800ineedshelp @chaoticgenderflood @ivory--raven @aroaceblackhole @three-smiles-and-a-unicorn @coppicegate @zonzolik @falling-raine @dashoulinas-fandom-dump @koboldkatalyst @arkytiorlecter @friday-im-in-love-with-crowley @good-usernames-were-taken @weirdly-specific-but-ok THANK YOU THANK YOU ILY (oh wow that's a lot of ppl) (PLS PLS tell me if I forgot anyone there's so many of you, SORRY IF I TAGGED YOU TWICE AAA AND I'M SORRY IF YOU WERE TAGGED AND DUNNO WTF I AM I GOT LOST WITH THE TAGS AAAA AND SORRY IF I TAGGED U AND THE TAG DIDN'T WORK)

I love you all so so so so so so so much, you're so dear to me. Thank you. This is a gift for you.

Demons Out.

There's a hell outside,

Demonic screaming,

Trees, fall's leaving.

And I'm just here inside,

In my bubble.

Trapped inside me,

Trapped in myself.

There's demons out,

Asking to come.

But I won't let them,

I'm not alone.

Inside myself,

Inside my world,

I've got most people

Than all of your's.

They're worth more

Than any gold,

And they're far way,

More beautiful

Than any Sun,

Than any Star,

They are right here,

They are right now.

They're my comfort,

And some my loss,

But they're all lovely

Precious along.

They're the most

Amazing

Beings to exist,

And so I'm afraid

That they'll all be missed.

Because I fear

One day they'll go,

That's why I start

To sing a song.

Please let us all

Become real friends,

Please let us all

Reunite again.

There's demons out,

Angels inside.

There's me in-between

Caring for (them) all

Please let us all

Reunite again.

There's demons out.

And I'm in pain,

But not too much,

We'll find a way.

There's demons out,

We are in pain.

But I will start

To sing again.

I care for each

And every of you,

So then I start

To sing a song.

Please let us all

Reunite again.

There's demons out.

We'll try again.

[neoarchipelago]

Madripoor High (part 6)

A/N: this was supposed to be some miniseries but i feel like it's turning into a slow burn again... also, this is an emotional rollercosater. I gave Y/N a backstory, tragic, similar to Ghost's one.

Warnings: TRAUMA ABUSE DEATH READ UNTIL (_-_-_-_) TO AVOID IT THEN START AGAIN AT (_-_-_-_) IF YOU WANT TO AVOID IT

+ SEXUAL CONTENT

You walked through the base, the warm sun barely helping with the cold wind. Two months. You were working on this contract for two months. You were more than frustrated. You were starting to think you simply couldn't find Echo because they didn't exist at all. 

The obvious side eyes and murmuring made you want to chuckle. Not only word of the punishments from the Lieutenant spread like wildfire. The fact that you showered alone under his close watch also spread. You were aware of the little whispers. 'the lieutenant's temptation' , 'the lieutenant's bitch' or 'whore'. You probably heard 'the forbidden pussy' at some point. You could end all of these fuckers careers with a simple search of their background, the worst skeletons in their closet unburied but you honestly couldn't care less. It was a funny change from the usuals 'criminal' 'terrorist'. 

For some reason it almost made you giddy. Of course, Ghost was entirely unaware of all of this. The cadets were way too terrified to even mumble if he was in the surrounding 20 feet. You also tried to keep it to yourself, the next punishment being way more harmful for the boys than for you. Walking up to the barracks you felt surrounded. You stopped in the middle of the hallway. Looking at the boys surrounding you. 

"Well well, little ducklings away from their mommies." You smirked. 

"How about we call you mommy huh?" You heard from one. 

"Oh sorry. I have daddy issues, not mommy ones." You teased again.

"You got a big mouth for a little thing." Someone rang.

"Not only this little thing could end your reputation, your careers and your families in a blink of an eye. But I'm not at all worried. I walk through this base with no fear." You stated. 

"Maybe that's your problem. You're FUCKING full of yourself." A man spat. 

You looked at the cadet who spoke. Of course. You were perfectly prepared for such a thing. You had an excellent memory. 

"Cadet Davis. 25 years old, divorced parents both remarried, two biological brothers, one half sister and a baby half brother on the way." The boy frowned slowly paling. "You enlisted because of your bad civilian behavior, last resort to get straight in life after not only dropping out of high school for misconduct but also out of interest per your therapist's notes." You smirked, the boys eyeing each other. "Now, I know that you and your squad sneak out every Thursday you're not on duty to play cards in one of the barracks near the east wall." Now the group paled. "I know about the phones on which you watch porn while you guys jerk off all together." You said again. 

"I know. Everything. Ending you is almost boring." You finally spat. 

"What's going on here?" You heard. 

You turned to the voice smiling at Soap and Gaz as they appeared into view. The cadets stood to attention as soon as they saw them. 

"We're bonding." You teased. Soap snickered as Gaz frowned. You crossed your arms, smirking towards the cadets. "They're such adorable boys." 

"Alright. Yeah. No doubt." Gaz said, not believing it for one second. 

"Come on, let's go. Stop giving the kids attention. They'll become soft." Soap added. 

You chuckled, shaking your head before walking to them. You threw a last glare towards the squad before climbing up with the two Sergeants. Once inside you sighed, heading for the kitchen. 

"Are you alright?" You heard Gaz ask from behind.

"I'm fine." You sighed. 

"If they're giving you a hard time you have to tell us." Soap said. 

You were going to answer when a voice rose from the couch. 

"Who's giving you a hard time?" 

You froze. The sergeant's heads snapped towards the couch. You didn't need to turn. The voice. That voice that made you want to simply fall to your knees sometimes and others want to fight him. 

"No one!" You said, walking to the fridge. 

"Soap? Gaz?" He asked, standing from the couch. The two tried to look away, one rubbing the back of his head. 

"No. One." You repeated. 

Soap grinned, heading for the fridge as well. He stood next to you, eyes roaming the inside.

"I think you should tell him." He whispered, hidden by the open door of the fridge. 

"It's fine. I'm not in any danger. And he's annoying…" you whispered back. 

He snickered, making you bite your lip. You grabbed a small juice box, turning around to sit at the counter. Soap decided he wanted juice as well, but the last one being in your hand, he closed the fridge, running behind you to steal the precious liquid. 

"Hey!" You yelped. 

He laughed running out of the room. 

"JOHNNY!" You yelled. 

Gaz smirked. 

"Just get another one…" Ghost mumbled. 

"It was the last one!" You told him, clear annoyance on your face. 

Gaz laughed softly, shaking his head as he walked out of the kitchen. You groaned, turning back to the lieutenant who didn't take his eyes off of you. 

"What?" You let out. 

He simply stared intensely at you. You started to feel that little tingle in the back of the neck, that feeling of being watched by a predator. It could work. Could. If only he knew that it wasn't fear that it elicited in you. But burning fucking need. 

That, had been a brand new problem to you. Since the shower incident, you felt yourself melt a tiny bit more under his gaze. Felt yourself shiver at his raspy voice. Felt the dangerous warmth in the pit of your stomach when you heard him scold a recruit. You didn't even want to remember how you felt when you saw him spare. His strength, his body, his eyes… oh god. 

You looked away, walking to the couch. You wanted to avoid his gaze, the way it made you feel, but also wanted to hide it from him.  Hide the way he made you feel. It didn't matter much if he knew. Two things could happen. He would like it and you'd have a wonderful night, or perhaps various ones. Or he would feel uncomfortable about it and you'd simply take a step back. No. What mattered was a certain someone could not know. 

"Muñeca.." 

You looked up at the voice. Her. She couldn't know. If she did, you'd never hear the end of it. You smiled at her, Price and Alejandro right behind her. You pat the couch next to you, beckoning her to sit down. Price called the rest of the squad as you let your head fall back. 

Soap walked in, sending you a teasing smile as you shook your head. You pat the couch on the other side, the boy not hesitating to run and jump next to you. 

"God's sake Johnny…" you chuckled. 

Price had a warm smile on his face as he witnessed the scene. The room had filled up, you started to feel the obvious important news arriving. 

"Alright. Here's the brief." Price started. 

You let your head fall on Soap's shoulder, his hand rising to playful pat and or gently slap your cheek. You pushed his hand away, trying to listen to the captain. 

"Thanks to Tracker's latest Intel, we have eyes on a cartel.  Squad 141 will be heading out tomorrow for a recon mission." You frowned but didn't say anything. "It should be a few days. Until then, Laswell will be here to help you, colonel Vargas and Rudy will also remain here with the Prisoner. " 

"Cabron." She spat. 

You chuckled, playfully slapping her arm. Price chuckled as well, a darker tone to it as he eyed Valeria. Price continued, falling into more detailed information about their mission. You zoned out. For as much as you tried to avoid thinking of it, you couldn't stop. The skull face kept showing up again and again in your brain. You wondered how his hands would feel on your skin. How it would feel to trace his faded tattoos. Did he have more? You were sure he did. You wanted to search for them. His blond lashes flashed in your brain. Was his hair also blond? Was his happy trail-

"Tracker?!" Valeria snapped her fingers in front of your face. You snapped out of your very spicy daydream as you frowned. You looked up at her. 

"Are you ok muñeca?" She asked, a little frown on her face. Soap immediately jumped as well to look at you. 

"I'm… fine!" You stammered. It obviously didn't help your case, now the room was looking at you. You felt yourself blush and heat up under the scrutinizing gazes. 

"Are you sure, you look a bit red…" soap added with a worried look. You wanted to scream and hide. He wasn't helping at all. 

"I'm fine!" You said again. 

Ghost stepped closer, your heart jumping in your chest at the sight of the object of all your nasty thoughts eyeing you again. A hand touched your cheek, Soap testing your body warmth with the back of his hand. 

"Your pupils are dilated… and your heartbeat is a bit fast." He stated..

"Oh god please shut up…" you finally whined, embarrassment washing over you. "I'm fine, really, maybe got a bit sick overnight it's nothing really…" you lied. 

"Perhaps you should go over to the infirmary." Price said with a little worry in his eyes too. 

"No it's ok… thank you. I'll rest a bit." You finished with a smile. God if he knew it was simply you fantasizing about his Lieutenant. 

You avoided eye contact with everyone for the rest of the briefing, scurrying off discreetly to your room as soon as it was over.  

—

You could finally take a deep breath once the wooden door shut itself. You barely had time to take a step forward before the door opened again. You turned, falling eye to eye with deep brown orbs. You frowned, swallowing hard before turning back towards your bed. 

"Yes lieutenant ?" You asked. He stared. "You have a staring problem, Ghost." You stated. 

He crossed his arms leaning back against the door. The t-shirt he was wearing showed his arms perfectly. The sleeved tattoo almost plastered for everyone to see. 

"Now you're the one staring." 

You snapped out of the day dream. You were in fact staring. You snickered, turning back to your bed where you let yourself fall upon. You groaned into your pillow. You felt a wave of frustration splash onto a shore of exhaustion. You felt like the heavy weight you weren't aware of, finally fell on you. You turned your head to the side, staring at the wall. Should you glance at him? Was he still staring? 

The sound of the lock echoed. Heavy boots stomped on the floor, the sound growing closer before it stopped next to the bed. Your body tensed. What..

Shock filled you as you felt two arms turn you around. You laid on your back, watching the man kneel on the bed, letting himself down as well, his head on your chest. Your heart was threatening to jump out of your chest. 

"What… are you?" You questioned. 

His body flexed as the shock in your voice. You anticipated him trying to stand back up. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, one on his head. Not a word was said. You let yourself enjoy the moment. The heaviness of his body on you was making you sleepy. He had relaxed, his body reacting to the soft caresses on his head and back. 

"Who's giving you a hard time?" You heard. 

"No one…" you mumbled through sleepiness. 

He groaned a bit but didn't move. His hands caressed the skin of your waist under your shirt, slow circles that gave you goosebumps. You sighed in content. You felt the heat. The breaths. It was a blink of an eye. And he was on top of you, his head in your neck, biting and sucking softly at the skin, one hand over your breast underneath your clothes, pressing his hard cock against you. 

The feeling of him, so close yet so far, was unbearable. He teased you, clothes keeping any real contact from each other. You wanted to rip your own pants and panties off to finally let him thrust into you. 

"Simon.." you moaned. 

A low chuckle answered your whines, only making you more and more desperate. 

"So needy. Have you been craving this? Thinking about how my hands would feel against your soft skin? Have you been fantasizing about my mouth biting and marking you? Shit…" he chuckled darkly again. "You've been imagining my cock stretching your pretty little pussy, haven't you?" 

You wanted to say no. Throw some snarky comments but you couldn't. Like some spell had hit you, making you unable to be anything but submissive. 

"Of course you have… look at you. You're thinking about it right now." You frowned at his words. "You're dreaming of it…" 

Your eyes flashed open, the white ceiling staring back at you. Your heart was racing, the silence and darkness of the room enveloping you, bringing you back to reality. So now, you were having wet dreams of that asshole?! You grabbed a pillow throwing it over your face to muffle an annoyed loud groan. The fluffy thing was quickly discarded with rage. What happened? What exactly made things turn out this way? The way he had looked at you in the showers while he was manhandling some perv who had been watching you? 

The fury in his eyes, the way he barked his orders at the boys, anger obviously biting through the air. The way he had effortlessly grabbed you by the waist to pull you up and make you sit on top of the little wall. He had wanted to punish you. He had been nothing but correct with you yet you felt like some Victorian man who's been shown ankles. 

Perhaps a warm drink would help. Some tea. You threw the covers away, standing up to escape your room towards the kitchen. You tiptoed your way through the hallway, the silence and shadows only remembering you that the team was sleeping at this hour. You flipped the light switch, blinding light burning your eyes for a split second. You decided against it, only turning on the soft lamps over the kitchen counter. 

Putting some water to boil in the kettle, you browsed through the various teas the team had. One good thing about so many British men. You picked out something that sounded pretty classic with still a tint of originality. Time ticked, waiting for the water so you could make your tea, you stretched your neck, rubbing the back. Flashbacks of the night at the hotel rushed through your mind. His hand around your throat, the fear and panic in his eyes once he realized what he was doing. The flinch when you tried to pull him to you. 

Something made you wonder what happened. What was it that made him, Ghost, crumble in the past? If he had even crumbled. The kettle clicked, notifying you that it was ready. You poured the hot liquid in your mug before heading to the counter and sitting in one of the high chairs. 

Sexually tortured. Lots of things came to mind. Every single one of them sent a disgusting taste to the back of your brain. Madripoor wasn't a stranger to these things. Human trafficking and other things were unfortunately part of the world you lived in. You were clearly against it, refusing contracts from cartel's and bosses. Making sure to bombard their plans and send a message to the high table. At least, in Madripoor, it wasn't allowed. 

But him? Curiosity made you want to peek at his file. It would be easy but… a part of you didn't want to break his trust. Or at least the tiny piece of trust if he had any towards you. It was fascinating to you how this mountain of a man, a beast, a hunter on the field, could have been so close to being broken. Obviously it hadn't fully worked, and he had built himself a reputation that the high table itself was aware of. 

All of these thoughts to avoid asking yourself the real question. Why was he constantly in your mind? What was with him… that since the first encounter, when he had chased you through the warehouse and trapped you, he simply attracted you. You were worried about what this might mean, as you watched the swirl of the liquid in your cup. 

"What did that mug do to you?" 

You jumped, turning to the doorway. 

"God sake! Please put a bell around your neck…" you scolded. 

He shook his head walking to you.

"Why are you up? Not feeling good?" He asked, nodding towards the tea. 

Ah yes. You were supposed to be feeling 'sick'. You smirked, looking back at your mug. 

"I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep." You stated. "There's hot water if you want some tea." You offered after a heartbeat. He couldn't sleep either. It was obvious. Was it his nightmares?

He moved towards the kettle, grabbing a mug in the process. You watched his movements, his muscles flexing with his movements as he made himself a cup of tea. You kept your eyes on him as he walked back to sit on the chair next to you. 

"You have a staring problem." He teased, staring back at you. 

"You're the one staring at me…" you whispered. 

His eyes faltered, slight twitch of his brows. You were blatantly staring at him, a little focused look on your face as if you were trying to figure out some riddle he had dropped. He had tensed again. 

"Simon.." you started in a whisper. 

His head tilted, questioning the reasons of his name on your lips. 

"I… what happened…?" You asked. 

He blinked, once, twice, before the dreadful realization fell on him. 

"None of your fucking business." He snarked.

You sighed. 

"I know. I'm sorry… I didn't mean to intrude. You don't have to tell me anything." You let out, turning back to your mug. 

The clock on the wall ticked, filling the silence with even more tension. You sipped on your wall beverage, closing your eyes as the liquid slid down your throat. 

"Why." He asked. You turned to him, confused. "Why are you asking this? Right now." He asked again, eyes boring into your very soul. "Did… did I… was I not correct towards you?" 

You felt a cold shower rush through the fibers of every muscle in your body. 

"What? No! No." You shook your head. "Simon. You've been… very correct with me. You haven't overstepped, or made me uncomfortable. It's fine." You reassured him. 

He took a deep breath, his broad shoulders rising before slumping back. 

"Why are you so worried that you'll overstep?" You asked in a low voice. 

He watched you carefully. He didn't trust you enough to say that. Not enough to tell you the truth. And you understood that. 

"You haven't." You caught his attention again, giving up on finding answers. "You've been a gentleman, apart from being annoying." You chuckled with a teasing smile. "And I… promise that if I ever feel uncomfortable, I'll be honest with you and give you a heads up." You finished with a soft smile. 

He nodded after a second of pondering. 

"You call Soap Johnny." He let out. 

You rolled your eyes with a little chuckle. 

"Are you jealous?" You teased. 

"No. But he doesn't let just anyone call him that." He explained. 

You were surprised by the revelation. Slightly taken aback by the confession that Soap had let you be a special person to him. 

"He reminds me… of my little brother." You whispered, looking at the wall. 

Ghost remained quiet. He sipped on his tea, waiting for you to either keep talking and explain or simply change the subject. 

"You're not going to ask…?" You questioned. 

"I haven't answered any of your questions. I don't deserve asking you some." He explained in a soft tone. 

"You deserve to ask them. It is, however, up to me to answer them, or not, like you did." You smiled at him. 

"I'm not really into… family talk." He answered honestly as he winced. 

"Don't worry." You whispered, his head turning towards you. "Me neither…" you said, trying to hide the sting of pain from being too obvious. 

But he noticed. Of course he did. He nodded, his hand raising to pat your head softly before turning back to his tea. It made you huff a laugh. You sipped your tea again before turning back to him. 

"How did you become Ghost?" You asked. He closed his eyes, groaning. "Too close…?" You asked. He didn't answer. "Sorry. I think I'll just shut up." You chuckled. 

"How did you become Tracker?"

You froze as the cup was barely inches from your lips. It hit close too. Way too close for comfort. Did you want to tell him? The amount of people who knew the truth could be counted on the fingers of a single hand. 

"Too close?" He asked. 

You took a deep breath, putting down the cup on the counter, eyes staring at it, as if it'd help you through the dilemma. Telling him the truth. Do you trust him? Yes. Enough to talk about it? Perhaps it would help him unravel himself to you. He had started saying something when you cut him. 

(_-_-_-_)

"My father was the type of man who loved the bottle more than his kids." You started. Simon immediately remained quiet, watching you. 

Deciding on avoiding his gaze, you let yourself get lost in the brown liquid of the mug as the flashbacks and memories rushed back in. "It was always hard. The abuse. I tried my best to stand in the middle of him and my mother and siblings. I mostly managed." 

You snickered to yourself bittersweetly. 

"But things didn't get better. I was almost 17. I was out with some friends. He had been out for two days, we had no news. I didn't know." 

"Y/N-" he started. But it was as if you couldn't hear him anymore. Words overspilling. 

"He had decided that he wasn't happy. And that if he couldn't be happy, no one else could. I got home, probably… twenty minutes after he did. And, he had enough time to.." 

You frowned, feelings bubbling up in your throat the more you spoke. Simon scooted closer with his high chair, legs spread as your chair rested in between. You still avoided his gaze. 

"He had killed them all. My mother, my sister and her husband. Their two kids. My little brother…" Your voice lowered. Tears swelling at the corner of your eyes. "He tried to kill me on sight. While I was in shock of seeing my family murdered on the living room floor. Blood everywhere. So… long story short. The neighbors had already called the cops, they arrived as we were fighting outside in the lawn. I ended up stabbing him repeatedly." You took a long sip from the tea, trying to calm the raging burn in your throat from holding back the tears. 

"On that night, at the police station, the social workers arrived and talked to the cops. I overheard them talking. How I was already old and almost an adult. That no foster homes would want a kid who killed someone. That I needed psychiatric help. And families would still refuse to take me in." 

You finally turned to him, trying a small smile. You felt your heart skip a beat as he eyed you intensely. It was hard to understand what his eyes conveyed. 

"So, I ran off. I used the moment where the window was unattended. They were too busy. So I hopped out and ran. Managed to get into my house in the upstairs bedroom even while the cops were there. Took some stuff, my laptop mostly. And I ran." You sighed. "This story is taking forever…" you laughed a bit, trying to lie to yourself that these emotions, this trauma wasn't affecting you anymore.

(_-_-_-_ bad childhood daddy issues, family dead) 

"So, I stayed in the streets for a few months, coffee shops would give me wifi and I already had some basis on hacking. Made sure to steal money from bank accounts to buy food and stuff like that. Some cartel boss eventually heard of me and offered me a deal. I accepted, became known over the years as I got better and better. The high table of Madripoor decided to bring me on their side once my… talent was widely known." You smacked your lips together, looking away. 

"There it is. The story of Tracker…" you whispered in a sarcastic, tasteless voice. 

He leaned forward as you turned to him, his forehead touching yours as your eyes opened wide. A little soothing gesture. 

"You did good." He whispered.

It was three simple words. No special tone, no actual praise. But it made the tears fall. You tried to catch your breath as he froze. You shook your head, cracking a smile as you closed your eyes. 

"I'm ok… I'm ok." You sniffled, leaning back. 

You opened your eyes, brushing away the tears with your fingers. 

"It's ok." He said. 

You smiled even more, nodding softly. His hand had someone ended up on the small of your back, his thumb drawing slow circles. You closed your eyes at the sensation. It was reassuring. Calming. When you opened your eyes, he tilted his head, eyeing you with curiosity. 

"You ok?" He asked. 

"Yeah… just… your fingers-" 

He stilled. Realizing his action. His hand flew off like your skin was a scorching braze. 

"Shit… sorry…" he was ready to stand when you put your hand on his chest. 

"Simon. It's fine. It was a soft gesture. I saw no harm in it. Breathe…" you reassured. 

His eyes stuck to yours, he tried to even his breath. 

"You look… so ok. With my touch." He said. 

"Hmm…" you started. "Well. Your touch is nothing inappropriate. It's soothing so I don't mind." You explained. "I mean… you've had me naked in your arms" you teased. 

He straightened his neck at the thought, making the heat rush to your cheeks. 

"It's fine Simon…" you repeated. 

"You wouldn't be fine if you knew the whole truth… you wouldn't want me to touch you." He hissed, anger biting at himself more than you. 

You sighed, scooting your chair even closer, forcing him to spread his legs even wider. His eyes were fixating on you, burning through your skin, his body as stiff as stone. You let your head slowly fall to his chest, forcing him to straighten himself and hold you so you wouldn't slip and fall off your chair. You could hear his heart stammering against his rib cage. 

"Maybe. But right now. After knowing you for a few months, I trust you. And I don't mind your touch at all." You whispered. 

"You're insane…" he whispered back. 

"Without a single doubt…" you chuckled under your breath. 

You remained like this for a little while. You could feel his heart calming down. You were falling asleep at the sound of his steady heartbeat. He realized it as your body felt slightly heavier in his arms. He shifted quickly, picking you up bridal style. Your eyes snapped open at the sudden shift. Looking at him. 

"You're ok." He simply said. 

You sighed, letting your head against his shoulder. He walked to your door, opening it before walking in, heading to your bed. He slowly dropped you down, letting you settle in bed comfortably. The way he watched you, standing over the bed, it made you feel… surprisingly secure. You threw him a sleepy smile as he softly brushed a hair strand away from your face. After a long minute, he walked away, closing the door softly behind him. 

Your eyes were closing on their own, the image of him lulling you to sleep. 

—

The next morning, you woke up to silence. You opened your eyes, fighting the need to keep them close as the light shone through the window. You sighed, getting up and throwing some sweatpants and a t-shirt on before stepping out into the hallway. The eerie feeling of the empty place felt heavy on you. You walked to the kitchen, looking around. No one. You sat at the counter, noticing a small paper. 

'out on mission, be back soon, Alejandro and Rudy are still on base if you need anything! -squad 141' 

You smiled. It was obviously soap's handwriting, and the thought warmed your heart. You frowned. You felt… lonely. It wasn't something unusual for you. Even in Madripoor, walking through town or resting on the large couch in your living room, you felt lonely. This kind of loneliness however. You hadn't felt it in a while. The one you felt on that night. You shook your head. It was silly. Nonsense. Something however, screamed in the back of your mind, that the relationship you were creating with this team was getting concerning. Dangerous… it wouldn't end well. 

Getting attached to them, it could be a terrible mistake. And you could feel it. That it was getting way too close for comfort. Lying to yourself, however, sounded like a much better solution. 

You took a deep breath, looking up at the kitchen counters. Breakfast. And then. Work. 

—

It was late. Around four in the morning. You rubbed your eyes as they started to get blurry from the screen light in the dark conference room. You stretched, checking the time a last time, settling your mind on packing your things and going back to the barracks to get some sleep. 

The base seemed to be asleep, the few soldiers patrolling around being the only noise you could hear. You walked through the hallways, your backpack on your back, already dreaming about the warmth of your bed. The tingling feeling at the back of your neck however, warned you that someone… was clearly watching you. It was becoming even clearer that they were following you. You sighed, taking sharper turns into darker alleys. You tiptoed your way into a warehouse, jumping on some iron ladder to make your way up to the first balcony on top. You slowly made your way to a little hideout, perfect for you to see, without being seen. You waited, watching the entrance. 

Three shadows made their way in, looking around. You easily recognized three of the men from squad 8. You shook your head slowly. Idiots. Observing the three as they looked for you, you let your head fall against the wall behind you. You were tired. You didn't need this right now. A part of your brain kept watch over the boys as they walked back to the entrance, the other was drowning in sleepy thoughts. Finally alone in the warehouse, you remained sitting on the ground, against the wall. You waited to make sure they were gone. But your eyelids keep closing themselves, as you battled and battled but allowed them to remain closed a little while longer each time. 

—

It was the rough sound of the warehouse door being rolled open that made you jolt awake. Your heart pounding, you took in your surroundings. A team had walked in, taking their gear as they were briefing each other on the next training. You looked around, noticing how the sun was already shining through the door. 

"Shit.." you mumbled. 

You rose to your feet, feeling the ache in your body from the very uncomfortable sleepy spot. You groaned, making your way to the ladder. You climbed down, jumping down the last few steps, the sound of your shoes echoing. The attention of the team was brought upon you as you simply nodded their way with a 'good morning'. You walked out into the sun. The warmth of it did nothing to help the exhaustion from your body. 

Unfortunately, the same thing occured again and again. You found yourself having to avoid certain spots, certain people. At some point after a few nights, you realized that they weren't afraid to enter the barracks, making your own room unsafe. You had to find a way to sleep somewhere, in different spots every night. You decided to keep it to yourself, not wanting to bother Alejandro and Rudy who probably had a lot to deal with already. Frustration was starting to grow to an impossible level. The bad sleep, it kept you on edge. 

It had been almost two weeks when you decided that enough was enough. You decided that if they wanted to act like idiots, and come after you, then you'd treat them like that. You spent a full day preparing a little forgotten room, adding the perfect illegal things in it. It was used as some 'throw everything in' room. It was therefore quite easy to drop some things. Drugs, confidential files you had… found… laying around. 

That night, you made sure to stay extra late, working on your laptop before making your way to the room, the boys obviously following you. You grinned, stepping into the room before quickly running to your hiding spot. As the three boys walked in behind you, you immediately texted Laswell. 

You waited. Patiently, watching the three search around the various crates, boxes and old furniture, coating their hands in the various substances you had flung around the room. When Laswell arrived she was closely followed by Alejandro and a few men. You didn't exactly pay attention to what was going on as they interrogated the recruits, or when they were dragged out. You sighed, swiftly getting out of your hiding place to walk out the door. You made sure to be far enough from the big group, walking away. 

It was a good start. It wouldn't make them stop. But it'd help. You let yourself lean back against a humvee, crossing your arms. You waited, until you saw his frame. 

"Colonel…" you greeted. 

"Tracker." He greeted back. 

He looked at you, frowning. Even under the dim light of the courtyard, it was clear to see how tired you were. You had been in a worse state. But this wasn't that kind of mission. 

"Everything alright princesa?" 

You smiled at the nickname. 

"I'm… tired." You answered honestly. 

He frowned, taking a few seconds to think before he looked at you. 

"This… was you?" He asked. You nodded. "Why?". You didn't have time to answer. "They bothered you? Pendejos." 

You smirked to yourself. It was incredibly obvious how similar Valeria was to him. 

"I'm fine. It was just slightly annoying. They've been distracting me from my work…" you said. 

"Come on. You'll sleep with us tonight." 

He nodded towards a building before starting to walk, leaving no room for discussion. 

—

You were glad to be able to sleep near the vaqueros. Valeria was in a cell nearby. You had spent a very calm night, waking up quite late. Rudy had very kindly offered you his room. Unfortunately, you couldn't just spend the entire time in Rudy's room. You talked to them, including Laswell, offering for them to move into the squad's barracks. They were skeptical, especially towards letting Valeria into anything else than a cell. You assured them that Valeria wouldn't be a problem, warning her that if she didn't behave, you'd hunt her down yourself. 

She had pouted, angrily cursing at the vaqueros. Eventually, they had moved into the barracks, and you were glad to be back to your little room. You could finally rest a bit, without constantly having to watch your six. On the other side you felt like you missed the team. You missed hearing Soap and Gaz laughing together, Price talking and the smell of his cigars. But you also missed him. All of that combined with the fact that you seemed stuck in your current search was starting to feel like too much. 

You sat on the ground, the laptop on the coffee table looking at you mockingly. 

"What's wrong muñeca?" Valeria asked. 

"I'm… frustrated. I can't find anything about 'snake'. Obviously that guy is keeping Echo's identity secret like some kind of fucking bodyguard. I can't find anything that could identify it. Nowhere, in all of the underground, can I find a single clue on 'snake'..." You vented. 

You groaned, letting your head fall into your hands. Rudy sat nearby, the poor boy on babysitting duty as Alejandro was with Laswell for the day. You heard some commotion, looking up. 

"VALERIA!" You yelled. 

The woman had knocked out the poor man, hovering over his unconscious body. 

"Calm down… he's sleeping." 

"Why did you do that?!" You scolded. 

"I wanted to offer you tequila. He wouldn't have agreed." She shrugged, walking to one of the cupboards. 

"You didn't even try asking him!" You angrily said. 

She shrugged again, grabbing a bottle of tequila from the cupboard before walking to you. She closed the laptop, putting it aside as she opened the bottle. 

"You need to breathe a bit" she teased with a wink. 

You shook your head, bewildered. It was an obvious Valeria move. You watched as she stood again grabbing a chair before lifting Rudy to sit on it. She then handcuffed him, making sure that he wouldn't escape. 

"Valeria…" you scolded. 

"He's fine! Come on." She sat back next to you after grabbing two cups. 

You watched as she poured the liquid into them. Maybe… you did need to relax a bit. 

But as per habit. Every Valeria move would end up in some kind of chaos.

-----

tags:

@thychuvaluswife  @emily-roberts  @warrior-of-justice  @gh0stedddd  @ladyelissarose

@kiruoris  @kaeyamain-zonglilover  @salsa-reads-stuff  @coacaiyne @hufflepuff-hugz 

[darcytaylor]

Luke has said he isn't the best at seeing himself and I actually agree with him. I think he belongs in comedy, his timing is perfect, even in emotionally loaded scenes ("But you'd already be dead" hello??? Willow scene? ded). I'm sick of male egos and needing to be seen as a Tough Guy™. What's the point of trying to turn him into Austin Butler when a) AB already exists and b) I personally don't like him? I'd much rather see Luke in roles than this Glenn Powell guy they keep trying to force down our throats. Give me more Manny Jacinto. At least Nick Galitzine and Leo Woodall are thriving, but they're also massive, athletic dudes. It's a self-perpetuating problem if they won't let men depict sensitivity.

Masculinity is evolving but the old men making the decisions in Hollywood won't let it happen on screen. It's a big reason why they have a male lead problem - they're refusing to adapt their concepts to the new reality because they're from a different era. Shonda is on to something, as she always is, but the rest of the industry won't catch on until it's too late. And tbh, men are always so desperate for the approval of their fellow men that they'll prioritize it over everything else. I feel like so many problems in society would be solved if men would let themselves (and each other) be soft.

I would love to see Luke in a comedy! But then I don't think I would mind seeing him in a darker role as well. I was thinking about what kind of darker roll I could picture him in. Maybe it's because I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I think if they ever do a reboot of it (there were talks), Luke could play an Angel type character. Angel was dark and broody (he was a vampire), while also being very soft (he had a soul). It's the best of both worlds. I think Luke could do well with that.

I do agree with you that the 'tough guy' thing is rooted in ego for men. Which then can lead to it being a stepping stone for toxic masculinity. It's very harmful for men and women.

And while I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look more 'tough' as an aesthetic, it's the actions that can follow that will inevitably cause the issues.

I think a lot men just don't understand the female gaze. While we are okay with looking at an attractive person, that's not what makes us swoon. It tends to be the emotional availability of the man that most women find attractive.

[northopalshore]

Heyy hope you’re doing well! I’ve been binging your blog for a while now. I was wondering what your thoughts are on my groom persona chart? Thank you in advance and have a happy holiday :)

Sun in Sagittarius 8˚ in 5th house

Moon in Cancer 19˚ in 12th house

Mercury in Sagittarius 26˚ in 5th house

Venus in Scorpio 9˚ in 4th house

Mars in Scorpio 12˚ in 4th house

Groom in Capricorn 16˚ in 6th house

Union in Libra 21˚ in 3rd house

♀ Hello! Happy holidays, does it snow where you live?

Ah, I miss that feeling of binging content from the creators I resonated with. It's a very hard thing to come by nowadays, especially on YouTube ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ.

But let's get the sad saps outta the way for now!

Sun in Sagittarius (°8 Scorpio) in the 5th house in GPC:

Your FS is fun, and quite smart. Their focus going into marriage will be on the relationship, as well as your children. Making sure that there is still love and fun. They likely are very mellow in terms of personality, & that Scorpio degree tells me that they are very protective and loyal to the relationship. They may be the person solving all the problems that may arise in the relationship.

Moon in Cancer (°19 Libra) in the 12th house GPC:

This person is very patient. They may have a soft spot for family, especially once (or if you decide to) have children. Their mood will likely sway depending on whether their family (you & the kids/pets) are happy and have your needs met. However, they may have a tendency to hide what they're feeling or feel rather disconnected from the rest of the family at times. Perhaps keeping all their emotions to themselves, even if they are very emotional.

Their feelings aren't intense, and they are not likely to have fits of anger even when stressed. (How lucky).

Venus (°9 Sagittarius ) & mars (°12 pisces ) in Scorpio 4th house GPC:

They may express their love at home or just be more comfortable at home in general. They may be quite fond of pda, especially when they are out of their comfort zone. (Though it may be the other way around i.e only comfortable express it at home or at intimate settings).

Groom in Capricorn (°16 cancer) in the 6th house GPC:

They could devote a lot of their time into work, though they may work from home? It's likely that they have some sort of set routine in their day that involves working. I don't think they'll be working away from home though (out of state/country) could be a regular 9 to 5 (or at least what feels like it).

Union (°21 Sagittarius) in Libra 3rd house in GPC:

Typical from what I've seen, union in the groom/Briede persona chart tells you where you work best together as a pair or couple. It's also a tendency that both of you may share or a common ground between you.

You both may excel at communication; being able to tell each other what works and what doesn't, and giving each other advice. You both may come to each other often for a second opinion before doing anything.

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

Hope this helps!

[tkwrites]

Insert the most excited of squeals and embarrassing of happy dances to see the family reunion posted 🙌😍

I tried to do a little summary of my favourite bits as an usual, got a tad carried away, but you deserve all the hype so I didn't bother trying to shorten it anymore 😝😘

Oh I just LOVED it all! And it really had a bit of everything just to spoil us! Thankyou a million for continuing to share your creative talent 🫶

I loved seeing those interactions and bonding moments with his parents, like Ellen's observations and little check ins 🥹. Oh and how cute she was with all his cousins. The tide pool day was just so wholesome as all the fam was invested in it and/or seeing how in love Quinn is with her. Those small moments with Jack too, him asking about doing the same in Hawaii is actually so cute! The bit of banter we see between them throughout is so fun to see also!

Her sharing memories of her dad was such a beautiful little moment too 🥹. I appreciate how you incorporate her grief into alot of your snapshots. It's such a cruel part of life that Sarah, and yourself, has had to experience more than your share for being young 🫶🩷. It truly helps me to see it pop up throughout small daily tasks and these bigger events.

All of the older relatives observations of how good they are and how in love Quinn is, ahh just- swoon!

Quinn being as obsessed with her as we all know he is is so fun to read, poor man just wants to have his way with her aha! All the stolen little moments between them as they try to actually have eachother after such a time apart 🥹. Oh and then they finally do! 🔥🙈😍, boy it was getting hot in here 😅

I was abit scared to learn there was angst in this, like noooo, it's a happy time, don't be fighting. But it just fits so well and continues to show how mature and real your writing is. Their emotions are just so overwhelming and it's easy to take it out on those we love to avoid feeling the sadness. And leads to such a soft and just oh so perfect final sex scene for the trip.

So glad Jack finally came around and the little brother interaction as she leaves was just so cuteeee. Jack is right, this suprise is going to be epic 😝🩷

Five Days of Joy

You're too good to me, my lovely Alora!

For the sake of not taking over your feed, I've responded to everything below:

I wrote that scene with the tide pools in about 15 minutes, and it all just fell together so well. I love that we get to see Sarah really in her element there.

I LOVE the banter that's developing between Sarah and Jack as they get a little more comfortable with each other. When they're in Hawaii, they'll develop a more emotional connection, which will help to solidify their relationship even more. Jack will finally have an older sister he can go to for advice, which I think is something he's always wanted, but never knew.

I think it's important to show how grief, or any other kind of trauma, pops up again and again in our lives. It would be really nice if we only had to deal with it once, and then it was done, but unfortunately, that's not how life goes. Sometimes, someone says something and it just triggers that response, and there's nothing you can do about it but ride the wave of emotion. I think it's important to show those things normalized in fiction. It somehow gives me permission to feel and do when I see someone else feel and do. Does that make sense?

I felt kind of bad making Quinn wait so long for what he wanted. I really wanted them to have sex in the car, and for it to be rather desperate, which meant I had to find ways to stop them from being together. I kept having to find new obstacles. They originally had this really intense quicky on the drive home, but I cut it, ultimately feeling like it cheapened the story and it didn't fit with the timeline I was building. If you want to read it, let me know.

The angst was kind of weird. I said this before, but I planned for the 5th day to be really simple, and then all of a sudden, Quinn was sad and angry and picking a fight. I love that sex scene. I think it's my favorite that I've ever written.

I'm so excited to get to the surprise and for Quinn to freak out in Hawaii!

[cod-dump]

Chilling with my twin brother and now all I can think of is Gaz having a twin sister, or even Price, maybe Nik, but definitely Gaz.

Just whichever one it was still being super close with her. They've been best friends their whole lives despite being very different people. Being able to have silent conversations with each other, totally freaking the others out. Whoever it is getting a random moment of "I need to call my sister" or "hey, I haven't spoken to her in a little while, something tells me I should let her know I miss her and love her and that everything's okay" only for her to tell them that she was having a bad day and really needed it.

If it's Gaz to have a twin sister (which seems the most likely tbh), everyone is a little shocked when one day Gaz is pacing in Price's office in a panic (I see Gaz as being pretty empathetic). Price looks somewhat concerned, but also tired at this point, and Gaz is clearly struggling to get in contact with someone. He's practically in tears by the time his twin sister answers, all confused and sounding sick. He tearfully explains he had what they call a "twin-tuition" moment and thought something was very wrong. She has to assure him that she was indeed sick, but that she's fine and it's just pneumonia, she just went to the doctor and has medication, she's fine. He ends up just having a moment over the phone with her, partly because he was anxious, partly the sleep-deprivation, and another part being homesick (ie mostly missing his sister). That's how they all learn about his twin sister, and then they never hear the end of it from him.

He's always telling them about everything she's doing. How he's so incredibly proud of her; she followed her dreams and became a schoolteacher and is beloved by her students. She's still single, and Gaz is heartbroken for her. He truly sees all the good in his sister, how amazing she is, and he's borderline distraught she doesn't believe anyone could ever love her. He's her number one supporter in everything she does, and she supports him. She may randomly call him in a panic similar to Gaz's earlier one because she somehow knew he got injured during their last mission. She had such a severe panic attack when he was dangling out of the helicopter in that one scene despite having no clue what was happening. She had a feeling it had to do with Kyle, but didn't get a chance to call him until several days later. She tried several times to call him over the span of those days, and both were in tears by the time he was able to answer/call her back.

When they finally meet her, she's clearly his sister (they look like siblings, but no one would ever guess twins). She's a lot shorter, lot more reserved and much more soft spoken. She's not very sarcastic, mostly just an absolute sweetheart. But then, they spend more time together and they're all shocked by how 'mean' she can be to him. They'll bicker and insult each other like there's no tomorrow, but then immediately ask the other what they want for lunch or how is momma doing? Sometimes, Price will get verbal whiplash from listening to their conversations with how back and forth they can be, but there's never any malice, they each seem to know where the limit is without ever having said anything about it.

This is 100% a self-insert, but it's so personal to me, and I just wish to see one of these guys have a good, healthy relationship with a sister, and based on personal experience, having a twin is one of the best ways to have that. Price is like the only other one that I would die if I read something where he had a twin sister, and the idea of Nik having a twin sister is hilarious, but honestly? Gaz with a twin sister makes me want to cry, it's perfect.

Being home and spending time with my twin has made me really emotionally about this whole concept. He's not able to work right now due to health issues and so we're the only ones at home during the day. Him having health issues has made me really emotional (I'm the empath in this duo) so this idea is just brain-rotting me worse

Like I am so fucking close to writing a short story where Gaz has a twin sister because holy fuck I am close to tears

You should definitely write a story if you're up to it!! I really like this!

I had written awhile ago about Gaz having a sister because he just seems like the type to have a sister (I don't know how to explain it). Him being a protective brother, willing fight anyone for his sister, very protective when she's dating someone but he's not overbearing about it because he trusts her judgement. Can imagine Soap flirting with her in a joking manner and Gaz almost beats the shit out of him because he knows Soap, he knows this man is a heart breaker and there's no way in hell he's letting him around his sister.

Like, 141 really adores Gaz's sister after things settle and they get to know her. Soap flirts but it's playful and Gaz isn't trying to kill him for it because he knows Soap won't try anything. Gaz's sister actually really gets along with Ghost because she's a teacher and Ghost's reminds her of a troubled kid so she really gets him and they bond quickly. Like, she of course loves Gaz and spends 80% of her time with him while with 141, but she also spends time with Ghost and Gaz doesn't like to be the jealous type but he is jealous watching his sister bond with Ghost. But he also is happy to see Ghost open up to someone and he can see Ghost light up when she walks over to him.

[raayllum]

do you have any soft or even angsty Rayllum pregnancy HCs?

Not really any angsty ones - pregnancy isn't something I think too much about Rayllum wise (I think more about Sarai's pregnancy with Ezran and Tiadrin's pregnancy with Rayla for some reason) beyond the general headcanon that while they marry young (ages like 20-21) they actually wait like 4-6 years to start trying - but I do have a few!

A very old (i.e. written post-s2) drabble of Callum talking to their baby

Some sparse headcanons here

and some more upon request

Rayla is pretty active (other than heavy first trimester fatigue) but eventually the swollen ankles and soreness catch up to her and forces her to slow down and take more bed rest. She is not a happy camper

Callum asking a million questions (until Rayla tells him to shut up because she cannot describe how sore her boobs feel one more time) and reading everything he can get his hands on about pregnancy, trying to translate things over for what to expect for an elf-human birth (if there are differences) and doing research on old-ass texts that mention halflings from before the Exile

Ezran cries when they tell him (and they're the first person to know outside of each other) and cries again when they ask him to be godfather

Sky magic spells being used to help with her breathing and practice for the birth

Despite being pretty young, Callum remembers Sarai's pregnancy with Ez pretty well, and there's a bittersweet quality to Rayla's, even more than his parents never getting to meet his partner, but that they'll never meet their grandchild either

They receive an eclectic array of toys/presents for the future crown heir. Gifts from the human kingdoms from the monarchs & various diplomats (only Aanya manages to get them something they'll actually use) and gifts from Xadia, of course, particularly fine ones from Zubeia (one of her dragon scales which has magical properties) and from the baby's great aunts Janai and Amaya. Callum and Rayla need a whole room in the castle just to store everything

Rayla gets a lot of cravings and Callum eventually buckles down to learn how to make moonberry surprise for her, even if it's trial and error

Pregnancy is also what gets her over her reservations (finally) of crying in front of other people bc her hormones/emotions are a mess, this is her family, and she's gotta get used to both of those things sometime

[lifeofpriya]

Jannik and reader thinking both their feelings are unrequited and try to date other people that are similar to each other

you got it, bestie 🫶🏼

A Game of Pretense

wc: 2.7k

"You know what's funny?" you muse, "we're always trying to find someone who's just like the person we can't have."

Jannik, his eyes fixed on the string of his tennis racket, nods slowly. The clinking of his neighbor's wind chime is the only sound in the quiet afternoon. He tightens the string, the tension resonating in the air like the tension between the two of you.

"It's like we're afraid to admit what we really want," you continue, watching a leaf flutter down from the tree, mimicking the descent of your own thoughts. "We date these… mirrors, hoping they'll reflect something we recognize."

Jannik looks up, the racket dangling from his fingertips. His gaze locks with yours, a silent understanding passing between you. He sets the racket aside, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

"It's like we're playing a game with ourselves," he says, his voice a soft rumble that matches the distant thunder. "We know the rules, but we refuse to acknowledge them."

You nod, the truth of his words settling into your bones. You've both danced around each other for years, tiptoeing the line between friendship and something more. You've dated others who mirrored his interests, his laugh, even his quirks, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would be enough to fill the void that Jannik's presence created.

The air is thick with unspoken feelings, the weight of them pressing down on you like the heat of the sun. You take a deep breath, feeling the warmth of the exhale as it leaves your lungs. "Jannik," you start, your voice cracking slightly, "have you ever thought that maybe…"

He looks at you, his eyes searching yours, and you see the question reflected in the pools of his irises. Before you can finish your sentence, he's standing in front of you, the space between you evaporating like mist in the sun. His hand reaches for yours, and the touch sends a jolt of electricity up your arm. "Maybe what?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

You swallow the lump in your throat, the words feeling heavy on your tongue. "Maybe we're just looking in the wrong places," you say, finally. "Maybe the person we're supposed to be with is right here."

Jannik's hand tightens around yours, and you can feel his pulse quicken. His eyes widen, and for a moment, you think he might pull away. But instead, he steps closer, his chest brushing against yours. The smell of his sweat, a mix of salt and grass, fills your nose, and you realize just how much you've missed being this close to him.

"I've thought about it," he admits, his voice low and gruff. "Every time I go out with someone new, all I can think about is how they're not you."

You feel your heart stutter in your chest, a hopeful beat that echoes through your body. The wind picks up, rustling the leaves around you, and you're aware of every detail: the way his hand feels in yours, the softness of his skin, the way his breath hitches when he speaks.

"Me too," you whisper, the confession slipping out before you can second-guess it. "They never laugh at the right moments, or challenge me the way you do."

Jannik's thumb brushes against your knuckles, sending a shiver down your spine. His eyes are a storm of emotions, a whirlwind of doubt and desire. "Do you think…" he starts, but you cut him off with a smile that feels like it's been bottled up for an eternity.

"Let's stop playing games," you suggest, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside you. "Let's just… date."

Jannik's eyes light up, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. He leans in, so close that you can feel his breath tickling your cheek. "Are you asking me out?"

Your heart races, the anticipation of his answer a crescendo in your chest. "I'm saying we should stop looking for each other in other people," you reply, trying to keep your voice even. "We should give us a chance."

He pauses, his eyes searching yours for a beat too long. The air between you is charged with potential, like the moment before a thunderstorm breaks. And then, as if a dam has been breached, he smiles, a genuine smile that reaches his eyes. "Okay," he says, the word a gentle caress. "Let's do it."

You both laugh, the tension breaking like a glass shattering into a million pieces. It's a relief so profound that you feel it in your bones, a lightness that makes you want to float away. Jannik squeezes your hand, and the warmth of his touch anchors you to the earth.

"So, where do we start?" he asks, his smile so wide it seems to split his face in two.

You look around, the quaint Italian countryside stretching out before you like a canvas waiting to be painted with memories. "How about right here?" you suggest, gesturing to the small park bench nearby. "We can start with a simple date."

Jannik nods, his eyes shining with excitement. "Perfect," he says, leading you to the bench. The wood is warm from the sun, and the scent of fresh-cut grass fills the air. You sit down, the space between you no longer awkward but filled with a buzzing anticipation.

He opens his mouth to speak, but the words get caught in his throat. You can see the nerves in his eyes, the same ones you feel in your stomach. But then, he laughs, a sound that's as familiar to you as your own heartbeat. "You know what I like about you?" he says, his gaze never leaving yours.

You lean in, your heart racing. "What?"

Jannik's smile widens, a dimple appearing on his left cheek. "You're always honest," he says, his voice earnest. "Even when it's hard, you tell the truth. That's something I've never found in anyone else."

You blush, the compliment warming you more than the sun above. "And you," you reply, your voice a little shaky, "you're the most dedicated person I know. You never give up, no matter what."

Jannik's eyes soften, and he leans closer, his hand still holding yours. "I guess we have a lot to learn from each other," he says, his voice a gentle rumble.

You nod, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. "Like what?" you ask, your curiosity piqued.

Jannik takes a moment to consider his words, his thumb continuing to trace lazy circles on your hand. "How to appreciate the small things," he says finally. "Like the way the light hits the leaves on the trees, or the sound of a ball bouncing on the court."

You laugh, the sound mingling with the rustle of the leaves. "You always know how to make the most of a moment," you reply, leaning into him slightly. "It's one of the reasons I've always liked you."

Jannik's hand tightens around yours, his thumb still tracing circles. "What other reasons are there?" he asks, his voice a playful tease.

You bite your bottom lip, feeling a blush creep up your neck. "Your passion," you say, looking down at your shoes. "It's inspiring. The way you throw yourself into everything you do—tennis, cooking, even playing video games."

Jannik laughs, his eyes crinkling at the edges. "So, you like watching me make a fool of myself when I try to cook?"

You look up, meeting his gaze. "I like watching you do everything," you admit, feeling the heat in your cheeks. "You put your heart into everything, and it's beautiful."

Jannik's smile softens, his eyes searching yours. "And you," he says, his voice a whisper, "you make me want to be a better person."

The air between you is electric, charged with the unspoken confessions of years of friendship and the burgeoning beginnings of something more. You lean in, the gap between you closing, and your heart feels like it might burst from your chest.

"I've always liked that about you too," you murmur, your eyes locked on his. "The way you see the world, the passion in everything you do."

Jannik's cheeks flush, his eyes dropping to your lips. He takes a deep breath, the air between you thick with unspoken desires. "And your smile," he says, his voice barely audible. "It lights up the whole room."

You look away, embarrassed by the sincerity in his words. The wind chime starts to tinkle again, a soft melody that seems to be playing just for the two of you. You take a moment to appreciate the simple beauty of the moment: the warmth of the sun on your skin, the smell of the earth after a summer rain, the feel of his hand in yours.

"Thank you," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. "That means a lot."

Jannik's hand squeezes yours reassuringly. "It's the truth," he says, his eyes never leaving yours. The wind picks up, sending a chill down your spine. You shiver, and Jannik notices, pulling you closer to him. The warmth of his body seeps into yours, and you realize that this is what you've been missing all along.

He clears his throat, his eyes searching yours for a hint of what you're feeling. "So, what do you say we make this date official?" he asks, his voice hopeful.

You smile, feeling the corners of your mouth tug upwards. "I'd like that," you reply, the words feeling lighter than air.

Jannik beams back at you, the sun casting a warm glow across his features. "Great," he says, his thumb still tracing circles on your hand. "What do you want to do first?"

You consider for a moment, the possibilities stretching out before you like an untouched path through the forest. "How about we grab some gelato?" you suggest. "We can walk around the town and enjoy the day."

Jannik's eyes light up, the spark in them matching the excitement in your voice. "That sounds perfect," he says, standing up and pulling you to your feet. The bench creaks under the sudden shift in weight, echoing the change in the dynamics between you.

The walk to the gelato shop is filled with easy conversation, the kind that comes from years of friendship and the comfort of knowing each other's quirks. You point out the house with the garden you've always admired, and he tells you about the time he tried to sneak in to grab a lemon for his mom's pasta as a kid. The laughter is genuine, the smiles wide, and the awkwardness of the past moments forgotten.

When you reach the shop, the chime of the bell above the door rings out, announcing your arrival. The cool air inside is a welcome respite from the heat, and the smell of fresh waffle cones fills your nostrils. You both scan the colorful display, trying to decide on a flavor. "I've never seen so many options," you say, feeling a little overwhelmed.

Jannik chuckles, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Why don't you try something new?" he suggests, pointing to a scoop of mint chocolate chip. "It's like taking a risk, but with a sweet reward."

You smile, the metaphor not lost on you. "Alright," you agree, watching as he places the order. The gelato vendor scoops out the minty goodness with a flourish, the chocolate chips glinting like stars in a sea of green. You take the cone from him, the coldness a shock against your skin.

As you walk, licking the gelato, the sweetness a delightful contrast to the bitter-sweetness of your conversation, you notice the way the sun kisses Jannik's ginger hair, making it shine like embers. You've seen it a hundred times before, but today it's different. Today, you're seeing him in a new light, one that's brighter and more hopeful than ever.

You stroll down the cobblestone streets, passing by the old church where the bells chime out the hour with a melodious clang that resonates through the town. Each step feels lighter than the last, as if the gravity of your unspoken feelings has been lifted.

Jannik breaks the comfortable silence. "Remember that time we snuck onto the tennis courts at midnight?" His laugh is rich and full, and you can't help but smile at the memory of your shared rebelliousness.

"How could I forget?" you reply, recalling the thrill of playing under the moonlight, the glow from the distant street lamps casting long shadows across the court. "We were so worried about getting caught, but it was the most fun I've ever had playing."

Jannik nods, his eyes crinkling at the corners with amusement. "You were terrible at keeping quiet," he teases, his voice a warm rumble.

You laugh, the sound echoing through the streets. "And you were terrible at not hitting the ball over the fence," you shoot back, sticking your tongue out playfully.

Jannik rolls his eyes, but the smile on his face is unmistakable. "At least I was trying to hit it hard," he says, nudging you gently with his shoulder. The contact feels surprisingly natural, and you find yourself leaning into him slightly as you continue walking.

You both take a bite of your gelato, the sweetness a perfect match for the moment. The coolness of the mint on your tongue is a refreshing contrast to the warmth of the day. "What's your favorite flavor?" you ask, curiosity piqued.

Jannik looks down at his cone, which is half-eaten already. "It's always changing," he says, his eyes meeting yours. "But today, I think it's definitely mint chocolate chip."

You laugh, the sound light and airy. "You're so predictable," you tease, taking another bite of your gelato. The mint is cool and refreshing, the chocolate a delightful surprise against the cold.

Jannik shrugs, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "What can I say?" he asks, licking a stray dribble of gelato from his bottom lip. "I know what I like."

You watch him, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "I guess that's one of the many things I like about you," you say, your voice a little softer than you intended. "Your ability to stick to what makes you happy, even if it's something as simple as a flavor of gelato."

Jannik looks at you, his expression unreadable for a moment. Then, he smiles, a little shyly. "I guess we all have our vices," he says, taking another bite of his gelato.

The town square comes into view, the fountain at its center casting a cool mist into the air. The sound of children playing and the distant chatter of families fills the space with a comforting hum. You both sit down on the edge of the fountain, the cool stone a welcome respite from the heat of the day.

Jannik's eyes follow the arc of the water as it sprays into the air, catching the light in a dazzling display.

"It's funny," he says, breaking the peaceful silence, "how much we've shared over the years, but we've never been on a real date."

You nod, watching the water droplets dance in the sunlight. "We've always been so focused on our careers and our friends," you admit. "But I've always felt something more."

Jannik's gaze shifts to you, his eyes searching your face. "Me too," he confesses. "But I never knew if it was just me, or if you felt the same way."

You bite your lip, the gelato forgotten in your hand. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Jannik shrugs, his eyes still on the fountain. "I thought you'd laugh it off," he says, his voice barely above a murmur. "Or worse, tell me you didn't feel the same."

You lean in, "I wouldn't have," you assure him, your voice firm. "But I was scared too."

Jannik looks at you, his eyes searching yours for a moment before a soft smile graces his lips. "We're both pretty terrible at taking chances, aren't we?"

You nod, feeling the weight of his gaze. "But we're here now," you reply, taking a deep breath. The scent of the gelato mingles with the mist from the fountain, creating a sweet, refreshing aroma that seems to encapsulate the moment.

Jannik turns to you, his eyes serious. "Yeah," he says, his voice thick with unspoken emotions. "We are."

[adamnablelittledevil]

Hi! How’s part 2 of QotD treating you? And as you seem to have reached it, what was your impression of the Devil’s minion chapter?

Hi!

So far so good, but I'm really early, I've just read the first POV (Daniel's) and now I'm on the second page of Khayman's. He just entered the venue, but nothing has happened yet. There is this alarmingly clear feeling in the air that something big is about to happen, but I haven't reached that part.

The Devil's Minion was probably my second favorite chapter. I mean, I love Armand, he's my favorite, so it's really easy to love anything that includes him. It was sweet, appealing and even hilarious at times (I literally laughed so loud I woke up relatives in the a.m. and had tears in my eyes). It warmed my heart to see Armand learning about all the changes the world has gone through and his excitement with all of it. It was lovely to see how Daniel would just go on with it and was so patient because Armand was, well, intense about those discoveries lmao. It was awesome that Armand felt safe and comfortable to be himself and experiment so much when he was with Daniel. I truly enjoyed it.

The only downsides for me are, first, the fact that Anne's timelines are weird sometimes. She covered, what, 12 years on one chapter? And even though it's on my top 2 of chapters, it didn't feel like it represented as much time as it was supposed to. I think I'd only be convinced of that if there had been more chapters, or even a whole book series about them. It was deep, but didn't feel like it was such a long period, you know?

And the second thing is the fact that I still don't believe I know Daniel that well. I usually take too long to fall in love with a character or ship, I often need a lot of time and development. I have to feel like I know both of them well, and why those two are the right match for each other instead of something else, I have to see the chemistry etc. That's why I struggle with movies (they're too short) and books (I can't see them in front of my eyes) and prefer TV shows. However, even with TV shows, I usually take seasons plural to fall in love with anyone/anything (specially now with series getting shorter) and don't have as many favorite characters and OTPs as most people do. It's very hard for me to be immediately sold. There have been a few exceptions that captivated me in film or just one episode/chapter, but it's rare. I think I need to learn more about Daniel, but it's okay since there are more of his POVs coming. Still, it doesn't change the fact it was one of the best chapters so far. Like I said, I genuinely enjoyed it and it was my top 2, but not my number #1, you know? Quite high, but not the highest.

That said, I'm absolutely sure the writers and actors will elevate it to a whole new level. I can't wait to see it finally being brought to life, because it has so much potential. Specially if they span it through multiple episodes and do it at a slower pace. And it would make it both more earnest and tender. Plus, I have a soft spot for slowburns (they're most of my OTPs), the longing, the wait, the hype, the sense of something being earned and that whole shebang. The journey of slowly reaching milestones, is, like, 30% of the fun for me. And I'm positive they'll use the opportunity to make it more dramatic, emotional, intense and give us chills and tears in the best possible way. My expectations couldn't be higher and I have total trust in them. I mean, THIS is already my favorite scene on the show.

Okay, it's a perfect tie with loustat's church and reunion/hug scenes and I'll never be able to choose one, but these are my HOLY TRINITY. I will never stop freaking out about their chemistry. TDLR: I already enjoy Armand and Daniel individually and together (specially on the show), I'm really curious and excited to see more and I expect them to get even more of my appreciation with time. They're special, just not a favorite at the moment... But with the full potential of becoming one.

By the way, sorry for how lengthy this is, it suddenly got waaaaaaay longer than I'd anticipated lol. How about you, what do you think? :) And thanks for the question! <3

[nexus-my-beloved]

Thinking about angel grace and Midam. (NSFW a bit?? Kinda?? Like not super explicit but then again I'm half awake so I dunno how much detail this really is-)

Hear out my vision really fast:

Angels would, hypothetically, be beings of pure love and bliss – however much that would change with the whole process or time or the apocalypse or the family fights in heaven, I like to believe Micheal could revert back to that state, but just when he's around Adam.

This is important because of the idea that, if an angel touched you, you would already feel much happier and, in a way, softer; if said angel was in love with you, though, I think it would also give waves of love and bliss and complete adoration through your whole being with a single touch.

So here's my vision (please keep in mind they are in separate bodies now): Micheal in love with Adam and Adam in love with Micheal and often they'll go with random touches. Holding each other, kisses, brushes of hands and on rare occasions petting the other's hair. Sometimes, when Micheal touches Adam, he's so full of love that when he touches him it's just a wave of pure adoration and euphoria.

Then Micheal touches Adam more often.

Running his fingers through his hair and causing Adam to feel like he's melting underneath his husband's touch. Micheal rubbing his thumb over the back of Adam's hand and giving slight shivers down his spine with contentness.

Micheal cupping Adam's face one day as they're kissing and he's feeling so many emotions at once and so much love that the touch fills Adam with just pure /bliss/. The feel of Micheal's grace washing through him in something that the word bliss doesn't begin to describe but it's all he can think of. Adam moving to hold more onto Micheal, shuddering a bit and letting his lips fall open just a bit as he gives the smallest moan through a soft gasp.

Micheal doing it again, sending another rush of grace through him, and Adam feeling pure heaven at the touch. Then Micheal moves his hand down from where he holds Adam's cheek and rests his hand on his chest, slowly trailing it down until his hand is on Adam's hip, the feel of his fingertips trailing down causing small trembles in the muscle underneath them, the washes of grace setting Adam's nerves alight.

And then, when Micheal's hand is on his hip, another wash of grace tips the scales from pure bliss to just this side of more intimate pleasure, coaxing more of a moan from Adam's lips and convincing his eyes to roll back just a bit.

Micheal not sure what it means exactly but knowing that Adam enjoys it and doing it again, kissing him still through each touch and each wave of grace he sends through him.

Adam subconsciously rocking his hips forward and once again shuddering and gasping at each new wave of pleasure he's given, holding on as much to Micheal as he can, and then –

Adam managing to come with a cry of "Micheal" and a tighter grip onto his husband, taking heavy breaths and more than confused because /he just managed to come with only a hand on his hip and one of the most intimate parts of the angel coursing through him/.

Micheal doesn't understand very much but he knows he just brought Adam a feeling that he'd enjoyed, and that was enough to make him happy.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ya'know I don't think I've seen anyone ask this but. What are the Bakugou parents reactions to Katsuki's transitioning? I mean obviously supportive (hopefully) but like in depth.

Oh yeah they're good with it! Though the conversation is....

I've mentioned before that the family has a LOT of miscommunication issues that contributed to Katsuki being Like That™. Like obvs there are other factors, mainly the Aldera situation and also more one-off traumas like the Sludge Villain but this is a contributing one.

And when Katsuki does eventually get herself some help and start to really be herself and want to come out properly.... telling her parents and having them be confused as to why she would ever think that they'd reject her is kinda the catalyst to a whole ass conversation on those issues and Katsuki explaining literally goddamn everything because she can finally find the words to tell them and knows they'll listen and care.

It's an emotional as hell moment and they all move forward on yes getting better about talking to each other. They're not gonna be perfect, especially not over night, but it will get better.

Back to the transitioning stuff tho!

They are accepting! And they work on using the correct pronouns and such.

After the initial Everything™ settles down they do their own research on various options when it comes to transition. And like. There's not a lot of time where they have to be involved medically since Katsuki will be 18 in a little over a year and wouldn't need their permission, but they're going to give what permission they can now and do their own research to make sure this shit is safe and try to help her discuss different options on what all she wants to do.

I also have a thought on a scene of like. This was originally a thought in the Monster AU but GOD if I'm ever gonna swing back around to that much less far enough to have this scene and werewolves are just a transfem metaphor anyway, but the thought was being dragged to a family reunion and some relative says something and it's actually /Masaru/ to be the one to go feral on them and yell(the man is so soft he's rarely angry he never yells but that is his daughter and she has been through so much hell there is no goddamn chance he's going to let their own family make her feel bad).