#i like to think liu xiao is just Like That even if he grew up with a normal family

[starry-bi-sky]

Okay so this is almost a direct copy-paste of my earlier reblog but only the Xin Yuan parts, because its long enough to be its own post and i want to share it! It deserves it's own post <3 typical starry stuff to write a 2k word long reblog, unfortunately.

I say almost because I went through to proof read and ended up adding more stuff.

I've been cooking on this idea for the last two days since I saw the Xin Mo!Shen Yuan post but??? I can't find anything on Xin Mo's backstory or how it came to be -- which means that's free fucking plot right there baby. That's a sandbox and im making LIFE SIZED CASTLES. I'm so excited.

The idea of Shen Yuan transmigrating centuries before the events of PIDW as Xin Mo -- but when he wakes up, he's not the sword. He wakes up in the body of a young boy named Xin Yuan. Now it makes sense for this boy to be a demon, but the drama, the intrigue, the spice of Xin Yuan being a human child.

SY wakes up as a boy below the age of ten, and the System tells him where he is, and SY is excited to meet his favorite protagonist -- only to gradually realize that he's like, a thousand years or so before the events of the novel. The rant he gives the system is legendary.

Bc what's the point of getting dropped into PIDW if he's never going to meet his favorite character??? This is a scam! BUT he settles into his new life, he's like, some orphan street rat or some other tragic airplane-esq backstory.

The system gives Shen Yuan his first mandatory quest: become a righteous cultivator. Which was like, kinda his plan/hopes anyways, except! There's like?? No official cultivator sects anywhere? The Cang Qiong Mountain Sect hasn't even been established yet, and there are pockets of cultivators running around, maybe some groups or schools popping up and then sinking back down, but nothing's really taken root!

If he asks someone how to become a cultivator, there's no straight answer. No "oh you can go to X to do that". He's pissed! How can he become a cultivator if there aren't any schools around to teach him? Deus ex machina, that's how.

Out of sheer luck, SY manages to help save a rogue cultivator, and promptly gets adopted by said rogue cultivator, who gives SY the name 'Xin Yuan'. He is ecstatic. And you know what? It's actually pretty fun!

He's getting to travel the world of PIDW in its early stages, and gets to see the building blocks for the eventual main story. He's discovering all this local flora and fauna that are foreign to his old world and unmentioned in the book, and he's learning cultivation! Granted, its unsafe, newly(ish) discovered cultivation, but it counts!

Wistfully, he thinks about perhaps he'll do something grand and get his name carved into legend. Something that would eventually help the protagonist later down the line in his quest for revenge.

The system remains silent to his thoughts.

But Xin Yuan doesn't take much stock in that daydream anyways. It's nothing more than fantasy to him; wish-fulfillment. He does discover however, that he is positively brimming with spiritual energy. Overwhelmingly so.

It's both a blessing and a curse, as it puts a strain on his meridians if he's not careful, and leaves him prone to qi deviations for the exact same reasons. He already has a heart demon or two from a few traumatic experiences in the past.

(bc hey! angst a day keeps the writer sadism at bay, and all that)

I'll say he's about... eight when he gets picked up by the rogue cultivator, who I'm calling Lin Kai bc he deserves a name. They travel around PIDW up until Xin Yuan is twelve, where he goes through a traumatic experience that results in a heart demon.

It's after that that Lin Kai decides to put a stop to his wandering, and find a place to settle down to raise Xin Yuan in. Coincidentally! They settle down in a nice mountain region that's thriving with spiritual energy. The mountains at the time were called something different, but they will be eventually known as the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect

Coincidentally, the mountain Lin Kai and Xin Yuan end up on is Qing Jing Peak. XY does not realize that the mountain he's on is Qing Jing. The System does not tell him. But he likes it there, more than he was expecting. And as much as he's traveled around, he really does enjoy being in one place.

He has a tendency to go down the mountain and help the village setting up down there, and when he's a teenager he starts venturing out more and more.

Xin Yuan forgets sometimes that he's in a novel, especially after settling down on Qing Jing peak. The system becomes remarkably quiet since there's no quests for him to do and not a ton of opportunities to get B-Points. He cultivates with Lin Kai, helps tend to the garden they're growing, goes down to the village to play with the other kids.

There's one boy he's best friends with, a boy whose not all that good with words, named Liu Zhihao. He's got potential for cultivation though, so Xin Yuan drags him up the mountain when he can so that Liu Zhihao can sit in on lessons with Lin Kai. He drags him all over the forest at the foot of the mountain to go look at bugs and animals.

(One time, when they're fourteen and Liu Zhihao has been learning cultivation for a few years now, Xin Yuan drags him out of bed late one night to go look at the stars. Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao about ascension -- something that still feels like a far off dream to many in this time -- that night, while they're sitting on the wet grass.)

("We should ascend together." Xin Yuan tells Liu Zhihao, jade eyes gleaming. Never let it be said that Xin Yuan doesn't love deeply, no matter what kind of love it is. He was always so lonely as Shen Yuan, Liu Zhihao is his best friend. "We'll become immortals, and then we won't ascend until the other is able to.")

(Liu Zhihao stares at him silently, his face unreadable. Then, quietly, he asks; "Promise?")

("Promise.")

When he starts adventuring outwards, further away from the mountain and the village, Liu Zhihao sticks to him like rice. Not that Xin Yuan's complaining, that's his best friend after all, and Liu Zhihao has become a formidable cultivator. He deserves to show off his skills.

He starts making something of a name for himself by the time he's, like, 18 -- although that name is in its baby steps, along with Liu Zhihao. They're slowly growing renown.

Perhaps XY uses his knowledge of PIDW and cultivation in general to help make advancements in the cultivation field. Although the system prevents him from sharing too much, it doesn't mean he can't practice it himself. Perhaps he's one of the first cultivators to develop a golden core. One of the first known immortal cultivators. One of the first to have a spirit sword.

(Although I don't know the logistics of any of this since my knowledge on xanxia/cultivation stuff in general is all still pretty new and google wasn't all that helpful lol.)

Either way, its my excuse to eventually make Xin Yuan come across as ethereal to other people. Peerless beauty SY for the win. Hs wifebeam is too strong, Xin Yuan has a line of suitors following after him and he's completely unaware of it. The rest of history is not.

Demon realm stuff has been stirring up since Xin Yuan was a kid, but at the time it was rare and in the beginning stages. Its been steadily ramping up and the system is sending him on more and more treacherous quests -- some of them mandatory, some optional. SY doesn't often take the optional ones unless it comes with a sufficient B-point reward.

for all intents and purposes though, he's a wandering rogue cultivator with Liu Zhihao, going from place to place to either help a town or village, or to discover more creatures or artifacts (although there aren't that many). Just all around living his life. He participates in a few major quest lines that are sure to get him mentioned in legend, even if it's a background character way.

(Unbeknownst to him, rather than being a side character in these legends, he's named directly. You can't become one of the first immortal cultivators and NOT get name dropped for clout.)

He has a spirit sword named Shā Mó, (杀 shā - to kill/weaken/counteract/reduce) (魔 mó - evil spirit, demon, possession). He routinely goes back to QJP to see Lin Kai, or to rest when traveling has worn down on him and he wants nothing more than to sleep somewhere he knows he'll be safe in. It becomes more frequent as Xin Yuan becomes more famous. Liu Zhihao often comes with him.

it all comes to a head though when the rifts between the demonic realm and the human realm become too great, and the balance between both realms becomes unstable. A demonic emperor's influence, wanting to merge the two realms so he could conquer both to satiate his own greed.

Typical evil king stuff. This comes to a climatic head in a great battle between every cultivator available and the demon emperor's army. Xin Yuan was one of the many who helped lead the charge.

In the end, it was Xin Yuan who ends up defeating the demonic emperor, but the rift that the emperor used to cross between worlds is destabilizing as well. Except instead of trying to close, it's getting bigger and bigger, threatening to swallow the heavens and earth and demonic realm whole.

You know how Yue Qingyuan's soul is bonded to his sword due to a qi deviation? Let's take it a step further >:)

Xin Yuan uses himself and Shā Mó to close the rift. However, it takes all of his spiritual energy to do so, as well as him filtering the demonic qi into his body to redirect it back to the demon realm.

In the end, Xin Yuan and his beloved sword Shā Mó fuse. Xin Yuan's soul becomes trapped in the sword. His physical body is unable to handle the immense amount of power it takes to close the rift, and is destroyed. He is immortalized in legend by his grieving cultivators.

(Liu Zhihao ends up ascending alone. He ascends with the hope that one day he'll see Xin Yuan again, even if it's in the face of someone else. Lin Kai does not ascend, too weighed down by the grief of losing his son.)

Xin Yuan, now Xin Mo, falls into a stasis. He's very confused and disorientated when he regains 'consciousness'. The system has been silent for most of his life, only popping up to give him mandatory quests, hints, points, or to answer any questions.

But once he wakes up, it cheerfully pops up again, congratulating him on completing the origin story of Xin Mo. SY freaks the fuck out. he'd shake the system screen if he could, but he doesn't have arms. or legs. or eyes for that matter.

He can sense his surroundings, but its all like imprints to him. He can sense the energies, but he can't see anything. It's all very disorientating and horrifying after years of being human. Like a sensory deprivation chamber.

The closing of the rift and the cycling demonic qi tainted both Sha Mo and Xin Yuan irreparably, and it did some kind of damage that resulted in SY needing to feed in order to use the spiritual powers. Kinda like how Xuan Su uses YQY's life force for it's spiritual energy, but instead of feeding on his own lifeforce, Xin Mo feeds on others.

The rest is history. Xin Mo is originally tied to the story of Xin Yuan -- believed to be all that remained of the man after he sacrificed himself to keep the realms separate. It's believed that the force of the realms closing permanently infused Sha Mo with demonic energy, turning it into Xin Mo.

But, like many stories do when faced against the tide of time, things get lost; chipped off; changed. Xin Mo is steadily separated from Xin Yuan, especially once it becomes clear how parasitic the sword really is, until they are all but separate entities themselves and the origin of Xin Mo's creation all but forgotten.

The years blur together when Xin Mo is not being wielded, and at first Xin Yuan was agonized by the fact that he stole the lives of all his wielders. He knows it's only a novel, but his decades spent in this life have softened him, and he's grown attached to the world around him.

But time erodes the mind like water erodes stone, and he becomes numb to it, then eventually anticipating of it. He forces himself to remember what he knows of PIDW's plot, and kinda fixates back on his old obsession on Luo Binghe. But while PIDW stays in his mind, his memories as Xin Yuan fall to the wayside.

Not forgotten, per se, but... tucked away. The system prevents him from forgetting fully.

Xin Mo isn't fully a demonic sword either i think, but instead harbors an ugly cocktail of both spiritual and demonic qi. Special circumstances and all that. Everyone just assumes he's a fully demonic sword because that's usually at the forefront, his spiritual qi weakened from the initial fusion and from years of not being fed spiritual qi. It's part of the reason his wielders always end up destroyed by him, other than the whole, yk, 'overwhelming qi' thing.

Nobody would recognize Xin Mo's human form as Xin Yuan other than some truly ancient demons. Of which Meng Mo might. But even that's iffy because there's a lack of surviving paintings of Xin Yuan, but also because of XM's demonic appearance and supposed lack of connection to XY.

Xin Mo has never spoken to his wielders before, not in the same way he does Luo Binghe. He tells Luo Binghe this, and he also tells Luo Binghe down the line that he is both spiritual and demonic -- something he also never told his wielders because there was no point to it.

okay okay i've got to end it here because its already gotten ridiculously long -- of which im both apologetic and unapologetic for -- but i DO think the Shang Qinghua and Shen Yuan meeting (and reveal) would be fucking hilarious. Especially if SY has learned how to pop between sword form and human form by then -- although i guess it doesnt matter either way because SQH's reaction is still the same.

And that reaction is internally screaming and going "hey what the FUCK?? WHY DOES XIN MO HAVE A HUMAN FORM??? WHAT IS THIS??? SYSTEM??? EXPLAIN???"

meanwhile from his place on the sword hilt xin mo is squinting at Shang Qinghua in bewilderment and going "aren't you supposed to be dead" but doesn't pay too much mind to it because its not like its going to change anything.

...up until he catches shang qinghua going "WTF" silently from his little corner while all eyes are off him. One moment SQH is standing beside his king, and the next he's been tackled to the ground by one wild-eyed, human-shaped Xin Mo.

everyone, including SQH, thinks Xin Mo is going to kill him. It is a surprise to everyone when he does not, and instead dissolves into deranged, uncontrollable laughter after spitting out some phrase in some ancient tongue and watching SQH's eyes grow wide in recognition.

[protect-namine]

liu xiao is kind of a pathetic loser isn't he. I say this with love. I hope he keeps being like this. yeah sure you can play 5D chess but you can't even get xia fei to like you. smh you're not that cool liu xiao.

[snowyleopardess]

LINK CLICK BRIDON ARC EPISODE 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol Lu Guang it's a good thing Cheng Xiaoshi has a lot on his mind, because you were acting sus af with your calm prepared explanation.

ALSO CXS ILYSM BUT NOOOOO WHY DID YOU INTERRUPT LG WHEN WE WERE GETTING SOME BACKSTORY CRUMBS, I AM STARVING HERE!!!!!

People were saying in the ep5 PV that the bully looked like Vivian, but I guess it was just same face syndrome? BUT UHM THAT KID SURE AS FUCK LOOKED LIKE LITTLE XIA FEI THO.

Little Xia Fei seemed to like Cheng Weimin, I wonder if that changes Xia Fei and Cheng Xiaoshi's developing friendship. Like if he can't betray his beloved teacher's son or something?

Llu Guang seemed extra dead inside this episode. Ngl, I was super surprised he encouraged Cheng Xiaoshi to reach out to Vein. I would think he would want Cheng Xiaoshi 4689642445790 thousand miles from him. Is he really that desperate that he's willing to risk this for a chance to save Cheng Xiaoshi? Also his thinking 'maybe it's time to make some changes' is definitely another thing that makes me think this is AT LEAST attempt number two. But it's such a big risk, I think it hints at several attempts...

Also blonde chick sure had a strange look on her face after Cheng Xiaoshi clapped out. It didn't just look like the surprise or confusion some of his vessels might feel? It more looked like she realized she had been affected by something. I think another hint in the direction that Bahati wasn't just a language school.

Cheng Weimin also... seems to look a bit like Liu Xiao. Wouldn't it be weird if they were actually related? Could just be same face syndrome tho.

Aaah, I wonder again if Cheng Weimin would even have a clue that powers are a thing, and could even imagine that his son could be talking to him.

Cheng xiaoshi freaking broke my heart. I kinda hate his dad. It must hurt so much to see his dad happy and healthy, living his own life, even talking about him. But he just. Fucking. Abandoned him. No word. Cheng Xiaoshi was alone, and scared they were dead, and grew up without parents, and his dad was just off living in bridon without a word. That's infuriating. Couldn't he have left a fucking letter? Even if he couldn't say much, it could just be like, I'm sorry I have to leave, I love you. Like wtf.

I have such a headcanon that Lu Guang hates Cheng Xiaoshi's parents because of the hurt Cheng Xiaoshi went through. That's just me and my imagination tho.

I cannot possibly see how they'll wrap up bridon arc in one more episode. It would be one thing if it was a regular season, but this is supposed to be out of our regular timeline. So how can they end it when it won't pick up right where it left off in season 3? I'm still convinced this isn't the timeline that we go through in s1 and s2... so will they kill Cheng Xiaoshi off last second?

Guys how tf am I supposed to do this. I'm a nervous wreck all day waiting for the episode to come out, and then I'm vibrating hard-core for 2 hours after and low key the rest of the week. Sometimes I wish I had just wait for all of bridon to come out before watching it even though I'm having so much fun right now.

Man it's fucked up to see vein and Cheng Xiaoshi be all cute together... I want to just laugh and coo but like lu guang I'm having flashbacks to The Horrors. Very cool storytelling method, really helps us understand lu guang.

Als9 lu guang holy shit, could you TRY and act a tiny bit less suspicious lol. Lu Guang take an acting class next timeline. He cannot hide his hate of Vein for anything.

Well, off to scream. Ttyl! 🫠

[finalfantasyx]

Thoughts on Dashing Youth - Blood of Youth

I HAVE THOUGHTS AFTER FINISHING BOTH DRAMAS. Spoilers ahead if you haven't seen them.

First things first: I heard of The Blood of Youth when it first came out and have had it on my backburner to-watch list for a long time, but I never got around to it. H O W E V E R, I didn't hear peep about Dashing Youth until it was airing and youtube threw it into my face. Dashing Youth automatically got bumped to the top of my watchlist because I will die before I miss a period/xianxia/wuxia drama starring Neo Hou, just saying.

Ergo, I watched Dashing Youth before I watched The Blood of Youth while thinking, "huh why does every drama have [Shao Nian] in its name nowadays?" only to find out later when I was watching the first few episodes that it was the PREQUEL to The Blood of Youth when my mom walked past and casually asked what this was because the names that were mentioned were in The Blood of Youth (she watched it a while back and recommended it; she's been right on the money so far with good recs--Mysterious Lotus Casebook was also hers and both of these dramas ended up on my top 3 favorite dramas list). A quick google search later told us as much.

That meant I had no context to the world we would be in for the next 80 episodes prior to watching Dashing Youth, and I had no idea who these people were and what would happen to them in The Blood of Youth (which, thank goodness. I would have been in tears the entire time if I watched it the other way around).

To begin--Dashing Youth sucked.

I said what I said; Neo Hou couldn't save this one. The story was bad, the CGI was...not great, and the pacing was THE WORSTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. The *only* thing the producers got right were the characters, because those were A+ spot on. Neo Hou and Xia Zhi Guang and He Yu were SO GREAT in this, and Zhang Chen Xiao was a welcome familiar face after Cang Lan Jue.

Side plug, did y'all know there was a scrapped romance subplot between Dongfang Xunfeng and Dan Yin in Cang Lan Jue??? I am so angry; we could have had all the good things, but no, we're not allowed.

I also absolutely adored the other disciples of Jixia Academy, Baili Dongjun's shixiongs. Lei Mengsha, oh my GOD he was so funny and I laughed every. single. time. he did his gremlin laugh on screen. The others also really grew on me, like...hold on, let me check my notes.../looks at scribbles on hand

The da shixiong who showed up for one arc and like two episodes, after which he was dropped like a sack of potatoes and never seen agani, third shixiong--the sword one with the badass wedding arc in the beginning who we don't care about, the fourth shixiong--Liu Yue, the pretty one, the fifth shixiong--the "ugly" (??? he wasn't???) one who I'm not convinced isn't in some sort of relationship with Liu Yue, the sixth shixiong--the music one whom we know nothing about--OOOH OOOH OOH I KNOW THIS ONE, the seventh shixiong--Prince Langya, Xiao Ruofeng!

Yikes. I wish the show would do these characters more justice, because the actors did GREAT in bringing them to life only to have them nuked because of screentime restrictions and lack of dialogue if they weren't Lei Mengsha, Liu Yue, or Xiao Ruofeng. I literally have the most barebone ideas of who they are. And even Liu Yue got nuked later on. Ugh.

Speaking of characters, I really loved Yue Yao and her drive to do what was right as the story progressed. She was so interesting when she decided to take charge of things instead of letting them happen to her, and then LOOK WHAT THE PRODUCERS DID WITH HER. Sidelined her and made her arm candy to Baili Dongjun when they could have been a badass fighting couple. A N D based on the timeline we got in the drama, they were together for like seven years and you're telling me they didn't get married until post-drama??? I don't believe you~

I literally powered through this drama, though credit must be given for the soundtrack, which I thought was overall better than The Blood of Youth's (save for a few songs, but I would sooner listen to the full OST for Dashing Youth without skipping songs than The Blood of Youth).

There was a lot of story and a lot of characters to cram into this drama so that it would set up for The Blood of Youth properly, which was by then a very established drama. Retconning is a nightmare, but the producers and screenwriters somehow MADE A PREQUEL WORSE because there were a lot of details and characters that dragged on for too long, took up too much screentime for NO purpose whatsoever (like Baili Dongjun learning the sword and dao technique that he maybe used like once?), and then caused the rest of the actually important details that need to set up The Blood of Youth to be SUPER rushed.

The pacing. Dear GOD, the pacing. If your drama requires multiple voice-over timeskip cuts, you're doing it WRONG (see: shoving in the Four Guardians of Tianqi without actually letting us see this badass team interact even once...nuking the seven disciples of Jixia Academy while then bringing back Liu Yue and Mo Xiao Hei at the end to fight Nanjue with Lei Mengsha ALSO without actually letting us see them together and then saying that they went back to jianghu after the battle without mentioning how Lei Mengsha died while fighting Nanjue in The Blood of Youth...how on earth Li Hanyi became the second City Master when Sikong Changfeng was explicitly namedropped by Luo Shui, the previous City Master of Xueyue...I could keep going).

This is bad writing at its finest and I am angry that the drama turned out this way when source material was actually so good.

--Then, The Blood of Youth.

This drama was everything Dashing Youth wanted and tried to be, but even with a template in front of them, they still managed to get it wrong. The audacity and freedom and shackles of youth, the adventure and the beginnings of romance, the court politics and the complexity of jianghu--The Blood of Youth did it RIGHT, and with excellent pacing and development.

[kuschelkissen]

Took me a while to reply to this post, I was thinking about how to do it without clogging the OPs notes even more with this tangent ^^'

So this will be a direct reply to @pastorfutureletthembe

Long post lol

Now, about Lu Guang and his role in Cheng Xiaoshi's death, I have many, M A N Y theories actually. The possession route is very plausible. Actually there are several threads about it on twitter supporting it. I cannot find the one where OP removes the red filter and Lu Guang still has red eyes but it's out there. Hard to say if dream sequence or memory, if original timeline or repeat.

I think this is the point where I disagree mostly with the reasoning. I'm pretty certain that this scene is a dream squence, alone from how it is all portrayed - the red filter, the weird lines, the overlay with Vein's voice, and that is A LOT of blood... Like... what did he do to get him to bleed this much so quickly? Plus we have Lu Guang waking up from a nightmare in the first trailer, I wouldn't be surprised if that directly follows this scene tbh.

What goes against the possession theory imo is also that Lu Guang didn't think of Liu Min being possessed earlier. Idk, I think if I had killed my bestie while under control of someone else, this would be something more on my mind?

(Might just be me really hoping that this theory turns out to be wrong, because I really don't want him to be the direct, immediate cause for Cheng Xiaoshi's death =') )

I DO, however, think that Lu Guang might passively be responsible for his death. Be it that whatever he did set it all into motion, or be it that Cheng Xiaoshi did what he did several times in S2 and threw himself between Lu Guang and a bullet...

A part of me is convinced that Lu Guang wasn't even part of Cheng Xiaoshi's life in the original timeline. Maybe there actually is a Time Agency and Lu Guang was part of it and he kinda grew fond of CXS while investigating his missing parents. Or maybe he was Vein's pupil until he realized how much of a psychopath he was and tried to bail, meeting CXS on a turn of fate.

This is something I can get behind with, be it the part of Lu Guang being originally a part of the Trio (Or Quartett? There is still the theory that he's the missing Heart in the game of cards...), but especially him not being a part in Cheng Xiaoshi's life, or at least not from as early on as he is in the current timeline. Like Qiao Ling said, he showed up out of nowhere, which is suspiscious af.

There is still a tiny possibility that they pull a Kaishin on us and Lu Guang reveals himself as CXS's father.

DetCo mention in my current fandom, why is this becoming a pattern?

Easy to say this one is a big NOPE from me, I hate it, don't want that, nope nope nope, please, don't do this to me 😭🙏

And if Lu Guang is actually Cheng Xiaoshi's friend since the beginning, could he be the one who gave CXS his powers one way or another? If so, wouldn't it save him to just... Keep them both from using their powers? Or did they gain their powers while on this post graduation trip after Cheng Xiaoshi's death? Are these powers only acquired after nearing death?

I think the fact that he's not just not giving him his powers to keep him alive is hint enough for me that he didn't originally give him his powers.

Idk if he may be the reason why they awaken? But tbh I still think that it's more likely that his parents have something to do with all of it. The whole mystery of their disappearance and all that, idk, to me it feels like there's more to that. (And isn't Liu Xiao asking for Cheng Weimin (don't pin me on the name, I'm too lazy to search for the trailer rn) in the first trailer, I mean, we don't know if this Cheng is related to CXS, but the importance behind it... hng. Idk. I think that it has to do with his parents one way or another)

The darkest theory I have is that Cheng Xiaoshi has to die first for Lu Guang to reset the timeline... And there might have been times when Lu Guang killed him with his own hands in order to get a new chance at a better outcome.

I guess unless we assume that Lu Guang has the power to dive into a photo himself (which I don't believe, or want to believe), we can probably say confidently that Cheng Xiaoshi has to die in order for Lu Guang to go back, because he has to die to give him his power.

I don't think I can see Lu Guang actively killing Cheng Xiaoshi, though. idk. He seems too devoted to protecting him (lots of times making mistakes in his judgements about that, but still, it is in Cheng Xiaoshi's interest), to keeping him alive.

Many secrets in Lu Guang's head and I'm pretty sure Yingdu Chapter won't give us the answers we seek.

Absolutely and 100% with you on this one lol. I hope we will get at least A FEW answers. Just a few, pretty please? I know it will probably raise 3 new questions for every answer that we get, but I'm still hoping we will get SOME ='D

My take on all this is that if Lu Guang really wanted to save Cheng Xiaoshi's life, he wouldn't be in his life. But, you know: Man's ego, as I said. One of my theories is that he actually tried that one but failed (and the flash backs we saw of their meeting is actually Lu Guang failing at staying away).

I guess I agree on this one, but I think we can't say it for sure without knowing WHY he died in the first place. I mean... T_T meh. While I think that Lu Guang is somewhat involved in it, I still hope that "staying away" isn't the only way to save him (IF there is even a way... which I'm getting doubtful about more and more with each day T_T)

I just want them to be alive and together, is that really too much to ask?? Apparently it is...

But mostly: people tend to forget Qiao Ling's involvement too often. Her being in danger would be enough to make Cheng Xiaoshi risk it all, losing her would be enough to strip him from hope, sacrificing everything to save her is way too in character not to consider.

And here I need to ask what you mean by that. You mean that she's involved in his original death?

I agree with what you say, losing her would be just a big of a blow as losing Lu Guang, possibly even more, and he has a tendency to do reckless things in order to protect the people he loves! I'm just not sure where she comes from in this train of thoughts about Lu Guang's involvement in Cheng Xiaoshi's death? =O

Idk if this is coherent, I'm running on not enough sleep, not enough water, and way too much stress from work.

[beauholove]

Till today I can’t explain my obsession with this drama. Despite his restraint and outward rebellion, his inner passion and obsession never changed. And I think the audience saw it time over time. I think most importantly time over time, the audience saw those moments time over time, that xiang liu was always thinking of xiao yao. Even as fang feng bei, there in a pleasure house holding another woman, he only had eyes for xiao yao. So the question is what was he doing at a pleasure house hanging out with every woman except xiao yao ? Where was he or why was he absent when xiao yao needed him ? Here is the true psychology about Xiang Liu that will blow your mind. I’m going to tell you a secret technique to understand this man - click on my blog link to know the true psychology of Xiang Liu that you never knew.

Truth was Xiang Liu already fell in love with Xiao Yao the first time he met her. But him being a demon and her a human, he never even had the thought that he would ever be good enough for Xiao Yao. And so he returned to his job and daily grind - the Chen Rong army. He had easy conversations and hung out with the ladies from the pleasure houses, ladies he didn’t care about in that way. It was easy for him. But the audience saw from time to time, in those times, he was secretly looking for moments he had with Xiao Yao. The audience know it, they were watching, they saw it themselves. Those moments were real and the feelings were real. Physically Xiang Liu was with another after another but his mind was thinking about Xiao Yao. Not to mention his heart ached multiple times. Truth was he never saw a possible future with Xiao Yao, not because Xiao Yao was not good enough. The problem was she was too perfect for him. But time after time he kept showing up in her life. What was he trying to achieve? Was he trying to achieve a future with her ? For god or demon sake, no ! I tell you what this man was doing. He was seizing the moment or the moments. He might have nine lives but he and the audience know he has only one heart. This romantic sad man already knew a future between them was unthinkable to him. He was just trying to be able to live every moment with the love of his life. Cang Xuan and Xiao Yao basically grew up together. They were royalty, similar background similar family business and dealings with each other. In the drama they spoke to each other daily, their backgrounds were uncanny similar. I mean frankly, will Xiao Yao stop talking to Cang Xuan just to protect Xiang Liu’s jealous or hurt feelings ? Will Xiao Yao stop contributing to Cang Xian’s country as she always did ? Of course not. Xiao Yao will not change anything for Xiang Liu. Who is a Xiang Liu?

Look at Xiang Liu, he was mostly absent from the bulk of Xiao Yao’s daily life, showing up for maybe just an hour before disappearing. What does a demon have in common with a princess ? Nothing ! Will the King of Haoling allow Xiao Yao to marry Xiang Liu ? Impossible ! Xiao Yao might be a royalty and princess of Haoling but her marriage will be one of alliance and benefit not to her but her country and family. Imagine what her father, the other haughty royalty and the civilians watching her every move be gossiping or talking about - Xiao Yao the princess marrying a nine headed demon ?

Now I know you think Xiang Liu looked dumb and impractical floating here and there riding on his imaginary giant bird. But I tell you, although this man looked cold emotionless, poker face and maybe even dumb but he was far from stupid ! He knew all these reality and stuffs. That was the reason why he never made a real move towards Xiao Yao, surrounding himself instead with all the other cheap easy women from pleasure houses, showing up at odd hours like sunrise or moonrise. Xiao Yao thought he didn’t know but truth was he knew she was hanging out with and talking to Cang Xuan everyday but he kept silent about it 😤 Truth was this poor man Xiang Liu was already so resigned he had already resigned and mentally prepared himself that he will never be able to be with Xiao Yao and accepted that another man would take care of her. That was the reason why he always looked at her from afar, hid his true feelings from her pretending he was busy with his useless work with the Chenrong army ( when one look at his cold sad face, the audience would know that deep inside, love and not career was actually the most important thing to this man )

Sorry this is a long essay and audience you must have fallen asleep but I hope you able understand this side of Xiang Liu you guys never know and give this man all the best flying beasts for him to ride on in his life !

LYF Press Conference (2023) - Tan Jian Ci talking about his role as Xiang Liu

[papergirllife]

Reactions with WayV

 Requested : WayV’s reaction/thoughts on hourglass bodies

warnings : slightly suggestive

*gifs credit to their respective owners

*also, i’m sorry if this isn’t as good as my other works, this is my first time making reactions

Qian Kun

Kun is the oldest among wayv members, so I think he had grew up with the mindset of loving a curvy girlfriend (he’s okay with all body types, is just that curvy is what he had in mind towards a woman’s body), I bet he had a crush on Fan Bing Bing (who’s a very famous actress in China) since he should have gone through puberty around the time she was first spotted by the media. He’d love big tits, just so he could hold onto them when you guys are in the heat of the moment, feeling how full his hands are, or maybe even lay on them when he’s tired after a day of practice. So in conclusion, I think Kun is a big tits person.

Ten Lee

Ten is one of the most open minded ones among all of wayv, you can see that from his music taste, to how he answers his fans from all around the globe. I think generally Ten would be okay with any body type. I think he’d be most interested in someone with a slight hourglass shape, someone who won’t make him feel like a dwarf (unlike him with his other members). He’d love it if you had very curvy hips, always having a hand sliding up and down your curvy hips, just to feel the difference of your flesh whenever he meets the spot near your tits or your ass.

Winwin (Sicheng)

Winwin, in my opinion, unlike Kun, would prefer slimmer body shapes, something like a dancer’s physique. Though, he wouldn’t turn down a girl just because you didn’t fit in what he had in mind, he’d take the time to accept the beauty of your curves, and gradually fall in love with them. Occasionally, you’d catch him staring at your ass and legs when you two start to get comfortable with each other.

Lucas Wong

Lucas would be the one that would absolutely adore someone with an hourglass shape. He’d find it sexy and loves how every where he touches feel so filling in his big palms, expect him to stare at your boobs if you’re wearing a low cut or tight shirt, as well as your ass whenever you’re in shorts. If you ever teased him by bending down, he’d be a goner.

Hendery Wong

I think Hendery would be the type to love a girl who has this slim thicc ratio hourglass figure, not exactly like those old cigarette box, but something similar, tiny waists and big tits and ass would be a huge turn on for him, especially if you have long legs. Expect him to be the type of cheesy guy who’d stick his hand in your jean’s back pocket just to feel your ass.

Xiao Dejun

I think Xiao Jun would be more into a girl with tamer curves, he wouldn’t purposely look for or ignore other body types, he’d still take interest in you regardless of body type if you had a friendly personality and great smile. I think Xiao Jun, like Winwin, would take their time learning how to appreciate your hourglass curves. As the two of you grow closer, you’d catch him always having a hand on your thigh, loving how you have such soft and beautiful curvy legs for him to lean into whenever he’s strumming on his guitar, nuzzling his face into your thighs.

Liu Yang Yang

Yang Yang, like Ten, wouldn’t have any particular body type in mind, but he’d be shocked if he ever had the chance to date a girl with an hourglass body. He’d be so fascinated by your hips most, since his waistline doesn’t dip that way, he’d be very interested in yours. I think Yang Yang is more of a tits guy than an ass guy, he’d be infatuated by your big titties, since he probably has lesser dating experience, and had only seen big tits on the media, he’d be endeared by yours.

[plan-d-to-i]

(translator. hello from Russia!) I alone think that the modao drama is just disgusting and that it destroyed the character of wwx and why did it elevate jc? I know that this is due to the Chinese censorship, but I think that it SHOULD be made the same as in the book, because because of this, the guys who watched only the drama do not understand why the guys who read the book do not like jc so much.

How cool! Hi !! ٩(◕‿◕)۶

Honestly I think cql/The Untamed went above and beyond what they needed to do to pass censorship, and altered the story in a lot of ways that they didn't have to which only weakened it. Writer/producer Yang Xia who worked on the script said she wanted to put the emphasis on the concept of 'family' instead of the love between WWX & LWJ- which why even bother to adapt the story then? She added the absurd Yin Iron story line because she thought the plot of the novel was confusing before and she then she tried to make Wen Qing WWX's love interest instead of Lan Zhan (These posts go into it more : post 1 , post 2) . And yes jc's character was turned into this weird weepy person, who still does all the messed up things he does but now he's full of rage AND has teary eyes so ppl think that changes something. Crying is not character development. Crying while you still do fucked up things even though you don't have to do them is not gray morality (눈_눈). Sadly, I can't say the show adds anything to the story & I only watch it for Xiao Zhan & Wang Yibo looking ethereally beautiful, & other actors that I like - Wang HaoXuan (Xue Yang), Zhu Zan Jin (Jin Guangyao), Song Ji Yang (Xiao Xing Chen), Ji Li (Nie Huaisang) & Liu Hai Kuan (Lan Xichen). I also like the soundtrack I suppose. Did you hear your countryman Igor Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring used in the frenzied scene where everyone is scrambling for the Tiger Seal at Nightless City! :)))

While I do believe that cql inspired a lot more weird jc babying, I also believe that because even originally WWX is so heroic, morally ideal, able to let go of his resentments and not get lost in trying to get revenge against those who have wronged him, yet also fun, and popular, and really well adjusted - that's not going to maybe be as relatable for people the way jc constantly venting his anger and complaints, taking the easy way out and not caring about helping others but only putting his own drives first, will be. Some people it seems can't like a character if they can't see themselves in them, or project on them. I think that's the driving factor with his stans. They can't relate to WWX so they keep trying to make jc the main character but jc lacks all of the qualities to make him the main character in an mxtx story. He's like an example of what not to do. He's just a side character antagonist who meant something to WWX in his first life but who he's outgrown, and to who he no longer feels he owes anything in his second life. Maybe it's the kind of folk stories I grew up on but to me a main character is meant to be first of all inspiring, heroic, preferably likable but not necessarily relatable to an average person, and WWX does all of that beautifully.

[razberryyum]

Scumbag System (SVSSS donghua) Episode 10 Thoughts (spoilers)

(covers SVSSS chaps 24 - 26, BC Novels Translations)

And thus the first season of the SVSSS donghua comes to an end...rather weirdly abruptly to be honest, but more on that later. Obviously I love the donghua. It was not perfect, but it still exceeded my expectations. I truly appreciate what they were able to do within their budget constraints and I think they captured the spirit of the source material perfectly, which is really all I hope for when it comes to adaptations.  The writing was strong, the humor hit the spot always (for example, when poor Shizun got motion sickness from sword riding, I guffawed), and they also gave us some of the most beautiful characters I’ve ever seen on screen, especially with Shen Qingqiu, Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge. I really, really hope they release official figurines for them. I’m going to start saving my money now just for that possibility.

Even though their time together in this episode was short, the BingQiu love was definitely strong. They gave them a combo move that was not in the source material: for someone like me who grew up watching Cantonese dramas, two characters who have a combo sword move (”雙劍合璧”!) are usually a couple so I was especially tickled by this addition. I am always thankful to the donghua team for the little Easter Eggs they give us for BingQiu, like the way Binghe's eyes lit up when he sees SQQ... 

or when SQQ touches him...

Once again, for those not in the know, it can easily be interpreted as a disciple just being devoted and filial to his Shizun. But for those of us who have read the novel, of course we know it’s indication of Bingmei falling in love with SQQ. I love how subtle yet significant these little expressions of Binghe’s are, and I hope they continue on with these little touches even in the next season. 

Of course then there are the more obvious gestures, like that HUG:

It lasted for a good 15 seconds and oh my God look at the Binghe’s hand placement!  There was totally nipple groppage happening there! This wasn’t in the book by the way...SQQ didn’t get woozy and Binghe most definitely didn’t have to catch him like some fainting damsel, so we have the donghua team to thank for this wonderful moment of (sexy) physical contact between the two of them. 

The donghua team was also especially generous in this episode since not only did we get some BingQiu love, but we got a pinch of LiuShen and QiJiu love too.

LQG’s eyes were on SQQ the entire time! And then Yue Qingyuan as usual took any opportunity he got to touch his Qingqiu.  So all shippers were fed. Hell, they even threw in some more straight-baiting again so peeps who are watching the show for the “straight” romance between Luo Binghe and his never-to-be-future-wife Qin Wanyue were fed too since the scene where Binghe gives her the handkerchief to wipe away her tears were not in the chapters of the book for this episode, and racking my brain I don’t even think it was in the book, period. I’m trying to remember if that handkerchief even holds any significance but even if it does, it’s all for naught since we know Qin Wanyue is at most just a minor side character. She does pop up again later on but then is mostly forgotten, so...not quite sure what that moment was all about other than to, I don’t know, throw off the censors?

I’m also not sure why we spent so much time with Liu Mingyan and Gongyi Xiao in this episode. Nothing against them personally, I like both characters very much (despite my previous complaints about GYX’s character design), and it’s not that they don’t deserve more screen time, but this was the season finale! Even though the next season has been announced, God knows when we’ll see it next year and how many episodes it would be, so every minute of screen time matters! That’s why I was a bit puzzled that they used up half of the episode showing LMY basically facing the same perils with her group of fellow disciples as before and GYX just running from that huge serpent. Even if that thing DOES turn out to be Zhuzhi-lang, it was still a bit much. They weren’t exactly character building scenes either so...why? Budget reasons? Didn’t have enough money to pay SQQ’s voice actor (Wu Lei-laoshi) so they had to stick in miscellaneous scenes to lessen his screen time? 

I’m kidding of course. God I hope that wasn’t the reason because that would just be sad.

Speaking of miscellaneous scenes though, what was going on with these two dudes?

I gotta admit, I’m a bit salty that these two mob characters got to do what our main couple can’t. What’s their story? Why do they get special privileges? Damn these nobodies. XD

All kidding aside, I have to say, of all the episodes this season, this might be the weakest one, not only because of the “filler” scenes, but also, the way the episode ended was so odd, especially for a season finale. The season basically ended on a scene transition. Not a cliffhanger, just a scene transition, and then cut to credits. What?? Why??? It’s almost as if they just ran out of time so had to stop the show all of a sudden. And then as if to make up for it, they added post-credit scenes which, honestly blew me away because it was so unexpected. It was indeed almost enough to make me completely forgive the weakness of the episode as a whole and that weird-ass ending.

I teared up!  The scene was kind of chopped up, didn’t even flow that smoothly, but I still got emotional! I’m sure when I see this scene in its entirety next season I am just going to be destroyed. I think they made it even more gut-wrenching than it was in the novel. Looks like the donghua team really aren’t gonna hold back when it comes to delivering the BingQiu knives. 

We also got to see Mobei-jun appear in the post-credits scene; I guess they had to stick him in there since he was featured in the poster for this season, so it would have been weird if he didn’t at least make an appearance.

I immediately thought of him as Sephiroth’s younger cousin when I first saw him on the poster and I still feel that way. Anyone related to Sephiroth, I will approve and instantly have affection for. For the MoShang shippers’ sake, I hope the Shang Qinghua they create for him will be just as pretty. I think I can now safely discard my guess from last time and also that moon-faced bearded ojisan others have guessed. We actually got a glimpse of the real deal in this sequence:

They strategically made him blurry so you can’t really make out his features, but what we still can tell from there is that he does not have facial hair (hence, he cannot be the ojisan) and the hair crown he’s wearing is silver and different from the twinky sect leader. So I guess we’ll be getting a fresh out of the microwave Airplane Bro instead of any of the no-name potential cannon fodder we’ve already seen. 

We’ll probably get the abyss opening up in maybe even the first episode of next season but that’ll still leave a lot of ground to be covered in just 10 episodes (rumored). There haven’t been any talk about a third season, but I really hope it’ll happen, even though it might take them a while to make it. I know it’s premature to even think of a third season when we haven’t even gotten an actual release date for the second, but I’m greedy because I already miss the donghua. This season was over so quickly, I’m already mourning the lack of new episodes. I hope we get the second season in the first quarter of next year and then by some miracle, a third or even fourth to properly finish out the story. I know we will never get the FULL story, but as long as they keep the spirit of BingQiu’s love and continue to hint at it like they’ve been doing this season, I will be more than satisfied. 

And while I’m wishful thinking for new seasons, I hope we also get a BingQiu duet and character songs. I love the opening and ending theme this season, if they want to save money I totally don’t mind if they just use the same OP/ED themes in the next season as well, but I hope they throw in a good BingQiu insert song and then release some individual character songs as well. I’m still not a fan of Binghe’s voice, but maybe they can have someone else do his vocals for the songs. SVSSS is the older son of MXTX’s works, I feel like it already got short-shrifted in terms of adaptation since it got the lesser budget compared to MDZS and TGCF. Hopefully with how popular the donghua is this season, it will be given a bigger budget next season so they can bring to life all the subsequent proceedings from the book properly. And whatever they’re paying Wu Lei-laoshi, SQQ’s voice actor, they should double it because that man is just amazing. I worship his voice and performance. I wish he would read the audiobook version of the the novel. I would listen to the hell out of that.  I have always loved SQQ, but if I’m going to be honest, I came into the show just a little more excited about seeing Bingge being brought to life. I still love Binghe of course, in all his phases, however, now,  because of Wu Lei-laoshi’s stellar voice performance (and of course SQQ’s beautiful looks), I’m leaving this season absolutely head over heels about SQQ/Shen Yuan. Also thanks to the show, I’m completely obsessed with Liu Qingge as well.  So for those two reasons, I will eternally be grateful to the donghua team.  

[neokids]

Fortune's Fool: Act XI

Masterlist (read previous and future ones here!)

Act XI

Tw: Lots of blood, character death, violence, murder, guns, knives, weapons, foul language, self-inflicted wounds, suicide, overall graphic content

“Miss Hwang,”

Yeji turned around to see a messenger awkwardly standing, he was oddly keeping his distance as if she carried the contagious madness.

“Yes?”

“Your parents ask for your presence in their office. They would like to speak to you right now.”

And they didn’t even bother to check what had happened downstairs in their own house, how thoughtful.

“Regarding what?” Yeji asked, anticipation building up causing her to fiddle with her fingers behind her back. “They did not say. They just asked for your presence. Immediately.”

Yeji let out a sigh as she made her way upstairs, she glanced back at the pool of blood all over the living room, how on earth would they clean this up. She also noticed her relatives talking so casually amidst the scene, as if nothing happened. As if it wasn’t contagious.

As she approached her father’s office, the door immediately opened. Yeji was taken aback by the sudden appearance of her father holding the door for her, it was as if he was waiting for her all along.

“You asked for my presence? Are we to discuss recent matters?” Yeji asked as soon as she sat across from her father and mother. Lord and Lady Hwang only looked at each other as Yeji noticed something in her father’s hands. He held a creamy white envelope sealed off in a rich gold stamp. She eyed it as well before glancing back to her father.

“How are we going to get rid of the bloodstains downstairs?” Yeji asked again, leaving her first questions unanswered.

“We’ll call for someone to clean it up.” Her mother said, dismissing Yeji’s current worries.

“Mama, it’s the madness. It’s in our house now, who knows who else will suffer. It could be a viral contagion, we should ask the other servants if they made contact with the ones who tore their throats out.” Yeji explained, ultimately regretting the decision seeing as her father narrowed his eyes at her in confusion while her mother eyed her quizzically.

“What made you assume it was viral?” Lady Hwang asked simply, no tones of suspiciousness in her voice.

Yeji froze as soon as she realized she blurted out a piece of information she found out from Jeno, but she had to remain calm. Her mother wasn’t the type to stay silent when she finds something suspicious, she was the type to confront someone directly.

“Hearsays,” Yeji replied calmly, “At this point, anything is possible.”

“Moving on,” Lord Hwang said firmly, clearly wanting to dismiss the current topic. “Summoning you here to talk about this madness wasn’t the reason we called you here.” He pushed the thick white envelope he was holding towards Yeji.

“What is this?” She took it, observing the intricately written gold letters curve with elegance. It was heavy as well.

“An invitation,” Lady Hwang explained, “To a masquerade ball from the Chinese.”

Yeji opened the envelope recklessly, wanting to get it over as soon as possible. She read that it was indeed an invitation from the Chinese, specifically signed by a man named ‘Xiao Dejun’

“It’s going to be held next week in the gazebos,” Lord Hwang added as he redirected his attention to the other stacks of paper on his desk. “They want to celebrate the joined forces and powers of Korea and China!” He recited flatly as Yeji read the exact same lines on the invitation.

We are extending our warm welcome to all of Viper-gang members, it reads in royal blue ink.

Yeji heard her mother scoff, causing her to tear her attention away from the invitation and towards her mother. Lady Hwang had a clear expression of distaste on her face, obviously not buying whatever the Chinese had written on the invitation. “If they wanted to celebrate, then they should start remembering that this is our country, not theirs.”

“However,” Lord Hwang added, as if he didn’t hear what his own wife had to say, “If they wish to celebrate, then let us celebrate.” Her father said sternly, he looked up to his daughter staring at him with a mouth opening and closing, finding the right words to say. “Also I believe there is another invitation somewhere in that envelope?”

Yeji rummaged through the invitation to reveal another card, this one bright red in color and had silver lettering,

It was from the Lius.

But it wasn’t for Yeji, it was for her father. Mr. Liu was requesting another meeting despite how many times they have been turned down. A few weeks ago, Yeji turned him down only for her to turn down his son as well. She didn’t know why they were so adamant about selling their product, they weren’t prominent nor known whatsoever. In fact. Nobody knew who they were or where they came from.

“Well,” Yeji said as she slid the envelope back to her father’s hands, “Why should this concern me?”

Something about the silence irked Yeji, the silence contained unleft words from both Lord and Lady Hwang’s mouths. They were waiting for something, an answer, a follow up.

“Well,” Lord Hwang began, “I would greatly appreciate it if you were to go with me,” He finally said as he folded his arms against his chest.

“You’re not certainly making me go to this ball, right?” Yeji asked to confirm, eyes shifting to her father who had a serious expression on his aging face to her mother who looked like she wanted to end this conversation immediately.

“It’s always your choice, Yeji.” Her father said flatly. Something to know about Lord Hwang is that he never took no for an answer, especially when it came from a family member. Better yet, his own daughter. “But I prefer if you would.”

“Appa,” Yeji whined, “I did enough partying in America to last me the rest of eternity. Surely the Chinese could discuss and bargain all they want, but in the end we always know they will never have the final say in this country.”

“Yeji,” Lady Hwang scolded.

“What?” Yeji retorted, righteous.

“No, she has a point.” Her father said as he raised a hand to stop Lady Hwang, “They only wish to mingle and propose their products to me, I would let you go if it weren’t for a certain someone requesting your presence.”

Lord Hwang had his gaze pinpointed on her. Yeji however, remained silent. She blinked once, then twice. She already knew where this conversation was heading towards.

“I see,” Yeji decided to say plainly, she didn’t want to press on whoever requested her presence. Judging by the sent invitation from the Chinese, and a separate invitation from the Lius, it was already a dead giveaway.

Yangyang Liu.

“We need all the power we can get. We need the forces, the allies, the security and comfort knowing that we will continue our reign in this city. I need you to be my little translator when they mutter something in Mandarin, thinking I can not speak their mother tongue.”

Yeji made a disgruntled groan from her throat. “As you wish, appa.” She stood up and took the letter from her father’s hands once again. “I’ll go as you wish!” She exclaimed as she tried to walk outside Lord Hwang’s office. Just as she was about to reach for the doorknob, her mother suddenly spoke up. “Wait,”

So. Damn. Close.

Yeji turned around as she cocked a brow, “This….Yangyang,” Lady Hwang started “Why is he requesting you?”

Lady Hwang said his name as if it held meaning to her. Lady Hwang thought that it had some effect on her, she didn’t know that that effect would be her getting annoyed more than anything.

Yeji pursed her lips into a thin line, “He is Mr. Liu’s son, obviously.” she replied, apathetic. “I believe the main reason why they requested for another meeting is because they are still trying to sell their product to us.”

“Is he handsome?” Lady Hwang asked, curious for herself rather than her own daughter.

“My god, mama.” Yeji replied as she tried to stop herself rolling her eyes. She walked towards the door again, hopefully able to leave this time. “He is just using me, this is just business. If you would excuse me, I have to–what the hell are you doing?”

The latter part was directed to Hyunjin, who was standing right in front of her as she opened the door.

“Relax,” Hyunjin smiled a very much fake smile, “I was on my way to the balcony.”

They both knew it was a lie–Hyunjin not bothering to try and make a more believable expression. Yeji closed her father’s door with a loud thud. She waited for her cousin to say something, but he only stared back, his plastic smile not leaving his face.

“Well do you have anything to say to me, Hyunjin?” Yeji asked, crossing her arms. Hyunjin’s smile only grew wider.

“Only one,” He said as he eyed the door, knowing full well that Lord and Lady Hwang could hear their conversation, “I just can’t wait to go to this party, jiāchǒu bùkě wàiyáng.”

Yeji stiffened, satisfied with the reaction he had caused, he turned around merrily and left. He shoved his hands to his pockets as a whistle from a song left his lips.

The family’s shame shouldn’t be exposed.

“Méiyǒu shé me kě jiēlù de,” Yeji muttered. She stomped as she went down the stairs, glaring at the relatives who were still near the crime scene, happily going on with their latest gossip they just had to share. She made a beeline towards the kitchen to see Karina seated on the counter chomping down on an apple. She had no idea how Karina managed to find an appetite when she was seated right in front of a huge stain of blood.

“So?” Yeji asked as she tapped the counter beside her cousin.

“What? Oh, I gave up trying to remove the stains ten minutes ago.” Karina answered as she took another bite of her apple. After chewing for a while, she tilted her heads towards the side as she looked at the stain.

“It kinda looks like a dog, don’t you think?” She asked as she looked at Yeji who looked at her with a concerned look on her face.

Yeji only stared at her as she swallowed her bite. “Too soon?”

“Way too soon,” Yeji replied, shaking her head. “You busy? I need your Rover ties.”

“For the nth time–” Karina answered, rolling her eyes as she tossed remnants of her apple towards the trash bin, “I do not have Rover ties. What am I finding though?”

Yeji grinned, one thing she loved about her cousin was her eagerness to play spy and to go to unknown grounds. “Jinyoung Park’s address.”

Karina only needed to wrinkle her face, not quite surprised for the sudden request. Yeji could ask her to go get the weirdest most bizarre things, and she would still oblige. Yeji didn’t need to reason out her request as Karina leaped from the counter and feigned a salute to her cousin, her lips turning into a quick smirk. “Yes sir!”

…

“Lice?” Jeno echoed in disbelief

“Lice-like,” Kun corrected, head shaking in the process. He examined a strip of skin he collected from the corpse Jaemin and Haechan brought back to them. They could see the tiny bulges of pockets where the dead insects resided. Jaemin was turning pale while Haechan had his fingers placed on his mouth.

“They jump from one host to another like lice through the hair, I believe they only die when the host dies.” Kun went on as he further pressed onto the membrane, beside him was Doyoung audibly gagging from the sudden autopsy they had to perform. Nevertheless, the Neos had seen far stranger things.

“Oh good heavens,” Jaemin suddenly blurted, feeling dizzy as he gripped onto the table. “We could have been infected.”

Haechan made an exaggerated groan, “They’re dead already,” He said as he motioned towards the insects and the dead body.

“And yet you made me dissect that,” Jaemin retorted, recalling the previous scenes. He shuddered, suddenly remembering how disgusting it was. His body was on full vibrate mode, “How–”

“Gentlemen,” Jeno prompted, his fingers drumming the table he leaned on. He suddenly felt like all the oxygen from the lab was being sucked out, he couldn’t breathe. He had already woken up with a throbbing headache since he wasn’t able to get a good sleep. He tried to redirect Jaemin’s and Haechan’s attention back to Kun, but it didn’t work.

“I told you, my hands were full.”

“You were holding two knives, you could have easily slipped them in your goddamn pockets.”

Jeno gave an apologetic smile to Kun, there was no way he could get Jaemin and Haechan to stop. When the two weren’t busy discussing theories or other normal things, they would argue. Most of the time, it would be about nonsense things that shouldn’t be worth debating over. They would get so engaged in each other until you could see one of their faces going red, or vines starting to pop out from their necks.

“As I was saying,” Kun continued, realizing the two men infront of him had no signs of stopping anytime soon, “since we have much more advanced resources in our facilities than all of Seoul, I could try manufacturing a cure, if that sounds good to you.”

“The only thing that sounds good to me is when you finally shut the fuck up!” Jaemin suddenly exclaimed to Haechan, causing Kun and Jeno to turn their attention once again to them.

“Yes,” Jeno pleaded, making Kun smile a boring smile to him. “That would be great. Thank you, Kun–”

“Don’t thank me yet, Mr. Lee.” Kun tutted, “I can’t manufacture anything without you and your friends’ help.” Kun’s last statement effectively made Jaemin and Haechan to stop fighting. They exchanged glances and slowly turned towards Kun, who was serious as a priest giving a sermon.

“Anything,” Jeno promised, making Jaemin quirk a brow as Haechan nudged him to prevent hearing his whining. “I need to run live experiments,” Kun nodded to himself, “Yes, a live victim. You must find me a live victim.”

“A live–”

This time it was Jeno’s turn to nudge Jaemin’s side.

“Noted,” Jeno said quickly, hoping his two friends would stay silent, “we’re on it. Thank you, Kun. Truly.”

When Kun nodded to them, Jeno pushed himself off the table he was previously leaning on. He quickly dragged both his friend and cousin towards the exit. Jeno was rather quite impressed when Jaemin managed to stay silent the whole time they were making their way towards the doors, not hearing a single whine nor complaint leave his lips. It was only when they were under the dark sky clouding the city did Jaemin finally burst.

“Ya! What the hell?! How the hell are we supposed to find a live victim?! Who the hell would be our live victim?! You know what, don’t answer that. I volunteer in Haechan to be the experimental–Ow!” Jaemin’s rant came to a stop once he felt Haechan’s palm smack him on the head. Jeno sighed as he continued to walk, kicking a few pebbles blocking his way. Jaemin, full of energy as always, was bouncing.

“Careful,” his cousin warned. “Might trip on a pebble.”

“You’re giving me a headache.” Jeno replied as he turned around.

“How are we supposed to know a victim is a victim?” Jaemin went on as he ignored them both, “We only know they were infected once they have succumbed to it! Not to mention they only have a solid five minutes left before they die.”

Jeno shut his eyes momentarily, when he opened them again he felt like he could fall asleep that instant. “I don’t know.”

The walk home was just Jaemin and Haechan bickering once again. Jeno barely contributed to their usual debate for his headache only grew worse. Once they reached the entrance of the main mansion, Jeno could only muster a quiet farewell, leaving Jaemin and Haechan to stare at him. They understood him though, they knew Jeno always got silent when he had too many thoughts clouding his head.

Jeno meekly opened the heavy entrance doors. All he needed was a quick nap and maybe a few pills to ease his throbbing headache so that he could come up with a plan for Kun’s–

“Jeno,”

Jeno’s head jerked up to his father looking down on him from the top step of the staircase. His eyes narrowed at him per usual, his lips forming into a thin line.

“Yes?”

Without saying a word, he extended his hand to give Jeno a piece of paper. He thought that his father would come down to meet him midway, but Lord Lee only remained where he stood. This caused Jeno to hurriedly come up the stairs to keep his father from waiting. The piece of paper turned out to be an invitation with a name and address written in reflective silver ink.

“Find him,” Lord Lee sneered when Jeno looked up for an explanation. “I have heard from my advisors that the Rovers may be the center of all this madness.”

Jeno’s fingers tightened on the invitation he held, “What?” He asked, quite taken aback on the sudden request, “But the Rovers have been trying to be on our side for years–”

“Yet we push them away everytime,” Lord Lee refuted, not interested in what his son had to say, “Obviously they are changing strategies, trying to side with the Vipers seeing as we lost them. Before they could do anything we must counter them immediately. Stop them.”

Was it simply the Rovers’ strategy? Were they trying to kill all those in a gang or mafia so that the violence could finally stop? Were they trying to panic the crowd so that the crowd would listen to them? So they could rule over?

“How am I to stop a whole political party?” Jeno murmured quietly, “How am I to–”

Before Jeno continued, his father had slapped him on the head causing him to grip on the stair’s railing to prevent him from falling down the stairs. He moved away from his father, hoping he could avoid a second hit. He shouldn’t have countered his father vocally when he was an arm’s length away.

“I gave you a name and an address, did I not?” Lord Lee snapped, growing impatient with his own son. “Go. See how true the word on the street is.”

With that, his father returned to his own office, not even bothering to glance back at his son. He gripped the piece of paper tightly, his head throbbing worse than before, Jeno inhaled before muttering bitterly,

“As you wish.”

[yichens]

thank you once again @yibobibo​ for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here. 

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions: 

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu). 

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.  

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ @ashenwren​ @kholran​ @tiesanjiao​ @lan-xichens​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @manhasetardis​ and @lzswy​​ ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

[spaceskam]

pull out the heart that keeps you feeling alone

Summary: Lan Sizhui and Wei Wuxian go on a night hunt together. It does not go as planned.

Word Count: 11,973

ao3

Wei Wuxian was gone for six months before he found himself.

That being said, what he found was a deep seeded need for stability and an even deeper need to get Hanguang-Jun naked. He made his way back with full intent to tell him that, but he ended up losing the words. He spent an entire week trying to find different times to tell Lan Wangji that he wanted him, but it never came. Even when they were alone in the Jingshi well past curfew and Lan Wangji was in nothing but his thin night robe and he would sit so close because he wanted to be there and…

So Wei Wuxian very quickly found an excuse to leave again.

It came in the form of a man-eating cave of sorts. It wasn’t really man-eating, as far as he could tell, but it had too many ghosts inside it and it caused people who went inside to become disoriented. Or, at least that was Wei Wuxian’s working theory. There were no monsters and the spiritual energy didn’t necessarily feel resentful as much as it just felt sad. It was, however, plaguing one of the less wealthy cities when people wandered inside for shelter and it’s leader had pleaded to Chief Cultivator Lan Wangji for assistance.

Wei Wuxian had jumped at the opportunity and he invited Lan Sizhui to come along. If he was correct in thinking it was disorienting, he really only trusted Sizhui not to cause more trouble by being too overwhelmed. That also meant he had to convince Wen Ning to stay behind. He was stubborn all the way up until introducing him to the bunnies.

Now Wei Wuxian and Lan Sizhui stood outside the entrance to the cave and he was more sure than ever that he was right. He could feel the sorrow from the ghosts inside the cave, spirits who had never been laid to rest properly. It was full of them.

“Senior Wei,” Sizhui breathed, his eyes wide. He could very clearly feel them too.

“Right, so, here’s the plan. While there's definitely a lot of spirits, I have to assume it’s one in particular that is so lonely that it’s keeping the rest of them around. There’s no way there’s so many lingering spirits in one place even if they did all die here. So we need to find the body of that one. We’ll probably come across a lot more bodies in all different states of decay,” he warned. Sizhui nodded solemnly. “We need to remember them properly, which we’ll use Inquiry to do. But the entire pull of this cave is disorientation. Do you know Clarity?”

“Yes.”

“Good. If it gets too much, we’ll stop and play that to help a bit. I think we’ll be alright though, just keep your focus set. And don’t leave my side because I don’t know how bad it’ll get.”

“Yes, Senior Wei,” he said. Wei Wuxian smiled at him. He was such a good kid, smart too. Lan Wangji gave him an education and the proper care Wei Wuxian never could’ve given him. Maybe things worked out exactly as they should’ve.

“Alright, lead the way,” Wei Wuxian said, but he quickly stepped in front of him anyway, “Actually, I’ll lead the way.”

Sizhui laughed softly in a way that reminded him of Lan Xichen more than anything, “Yes, Senior Wei.”

The air changed almost the minute they stepped into the cave and Wei Wuxian could feel the loneliness. There were so many spirits that were so close to each other and all craving someone. It was bitter and sad and reminded him too much of his time in the Burial Mounds. 

Loneliness, however, could be poison in spirits as it could be in the living. Wei Wuxian made it a few steps in before he no longer saw the light from the entrance of the cave and he was beginning to wonder if he took more than a few steps. He reached out behind him and felt Lan Sizhui’s robes, so he took hold of them.

“We should’ve held onto each other when we walked in,” Wei Wuxian said more to himself than Sizhui. That was his own mistake. Hopefully, he was actually holding onto Sizhui and not just something that felt like him because of his mind being distracted.

“It’s alright, it’s not too bad,” Sizhui said, “I can still see the entrance of the cave.”

Wei Wuxian huffed a laugh, “Well, at least we know it won’t give us the same hallucinations.”

Lan Sizhui used a talisman to light the way when things got dark for him as well and they would check things by saying them out loud. Did they both see a pile of bones with a Jin Sect robe as a blanket? Yes. Did they both see a puppet standing up and staring at them? No. When they couldn’t see the same thing, it was a matter of logic. If that didn’t work, then they hoped it wasn’t too dangerous for whoever was wrong.

But then Wei Wuxian started hearing things as well.

It started with small ‘hey’s, but it bled into him hearing Xiao Xingchen and Wen Qing and all the Wen aunts and uncles and the voices of disciples he grew up with who gave their lives at the Lotus Pier siege two decades prior. All of them calling for his attention. He struggled to ignore them, but when he heard shijie, he had to stop. 

“Okay, okay, stop,” Wei Wuxian said, closing his eyes and gripping Lan Sizhui’s robes a little tighter. He took a few deep breaths as that familiar feeling of resentful energy poking at him, asking him if he needed the assistance to soothe whatever was plaguing him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you hearing things at all? Or is it focusing on me for some reason?” he asked. Lan Sizhui shuffled a little.

“I keep getting a little confused, but it’s usually not being able to tell how many steps we’ve walked. And I can’t tell how long we’ve been in here. It felt like an hour, but now I think it was only a few minutes. Or… or, do you think it’s been a day?”

“Okay, so it is fucking with both of us,” Wei Wuxian clarified, nodding to himself. He involuntarily looked over his shoulder when he heard Madame Yu’s scoff. She wasn’t there. “Alright, alright, can you play Clarity for a moment?”

“Good idea,” Sizhui said. Wei Wuxian focused on him to the best of his ability, trying to block out any distractions from his mind as he sat in the Lotus Position. But, in the time it took Lan Sizhui to ready his guqin and begin playing, it’d already turned into Lan Zhan’s Wangji and Jin Guangyao’s nameless guqin before it looked like Lan Sizhui’s Xingtian.

He took a steadied breath and watched as Sizhui plucked the strings. It wasn’t the greatest rendition of the song he’d ever heard, but he wasn’t using it for evil and none of the notes were inherently wrong, so he listened anyways. He couldn’t be blamed for finding it less than perfect when he had heard perfection in every single thing Lan Zhan played. 

 Sizhui played diligently, but it wasn’t exactly helping. He could still feel his mind being clouded and pushed and pulled. Wei Wuxian shook his head. They just needed to play Inquiry, put to rest the main ghost, and get the fuck out of here so he could think straight. For the days he spent feeling out of place in the Cloud Recesses, he now just wanted to go back. Maybe he should “accidentally” scratch his arm on the way out so Lan Zhan would insist on watching him through the night. 

“Sizhui,” he said, “Just play Inquiry. Ask for the one who is the loneliest.”

Sizhui didn’t respond with words, simply slipped into a new song. Except it was distinctly not Inquiry, and that’s because it was… well, whatever Lan Zhan named that song and refused to tell him. The pretty one.

“No, Inquiry,” he corrected, voice a little more stern. He opened his eyes to see what the hell was going on only to see Lan Sizhui wasn’t even playing anything. Instead, he just looked concerned. Then his mouth moved and no sound came. “Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Wei Wuxian took a deep breath and focused on the tiny, weak golden core he’d been training after Lan Zhan told him Mo Xuanyu had left one for him to grow. It was harder and inconvenient than he remembered from the first golden core he’d had, but he couldn’t use resentful energy in a place like this. There were too many corpses, too many minds that he didn’t want to disturb. Not when he wasn’t sure which way was out and especially not when he was alone in the dark with Lan Sizhui.

So he focused on his own spiritual energy, willing it to earn him just a bit of control over his mind. He would need to have a proper talk with Lan Sizhui when they got out, but he was sure these spirits were being harder on him. Maybe he was just an easier target. 

He felt the moment it clicked enough inside him so that he was spared a moment of clarity.

“Sizhui,” he said quickly, “Please play Inquiry and ask for the loneliest. They might come all at once, you will have to pick the voice that is the most powerful.”

“Senior Wei, I don’t think that will work,” Sizhui said, his face still twisted in concern.

“What? Why not? Why wouldn’t it work?” 

“Because I don’t think it’s a ghost,” Lan Sizhui said, “I-I don’t know what it is. I don’t understand. It doesn’t feel right. I… I think it might be a fae.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him for a second, his heart sinking. He hadn’t considered that. Had the ghosts really clouded him so much? It would make sense though. A lonely fae, wanting all the friends they could get and not understanding that they were taking lives and making them more lonely. 

“Explain,” he asked anyway.

“The disorientation. Yes, ghosts could cause that, but it is so severe. Senior Wei is hearing voices and I can’t play correctly and I can’t keep track of the time, what ghost is so powerful? And this cave. Chief Liu said it’d been worse recently which would mean that it is not a new occurrence, but it was getting worse a few months after they created a new pathway nearby. New disruption would cause the fae to be more active, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes, Sizhui, brilliant,” Wei Wuxian said, hiding the fact that he was absolutely not interested in handling any kind of fae right now considering the circumstances, “I think you might be right.”

“But, truly, I think that is a fae because the moment I considered that idea, before I even said it aloud, something has been staring at me,” he said softly, “Over there. I can see its eyes in the darkness.” 

He didn’t seem scared like a boy who was being watched should be. He needed to remind himself to lecture him that a little bit of fear was extremely useful and that he should stop shoving it away every time he was accompanied by his Senior Wei.

“Sizhui, what color are the eyes?” Wei Wuxian asked, not turning around. He kept his back straight and kept his breathing sound. Something about this was almost nostalgic. Him, a Lan boy, a cave, and an immortal being. Ah, if only Lan Zhan were here.

“Yellow. No. Green. No. Pur‒ Senior Wei, they keep changing,” he said with a frustrated little sigh. Wei Wuxian furrowed his eyebrows and then remembered that whatever this creature was, it was a master of disorientation. Of course it’s eyes wouldn’t make sense.

“Alright,” he breathed, “I don’t usually say this, and if you tell anyone, I will deny it, but I think we should leave and come back with Hanguang-Jun.”

“But, Senior Wei, should we truly bother him for something like this?” he asked. Wei Wuxian kept his eyes forward despite the fact he knew it was behind him. It could hear him, most likely. And he certainly didn’t want to anger it.

“I confess that I’m afraid if we don’t leave and come back with Hanguang-Jun’s expertise then we will not leave at all,” Wei Wuxian said carefully. Really, he could’ve handled this without him if he really wanted to use resentful energy in this cave, but he was admittedly more reckless when Sizhui was involved and he trusted him less to hold his own because he was a child. He was strong, of course, but Hanguang-Jun was arguably the strongest cultivator alive. He didn’t need to worry in the same way. He didn’t need to watch him closely. He would anyway because it was very attractive, but he didn’t need to.

Besides, if Sizhui got hurt while he used resentful energy in a place like this, it would be the one bit of collateral damage he wasn’t sure he could come back from.

“Oh,” Lan Sizhui said, perhaps filling in the blanks, “Okay.”

“Slow,” Wei Wuxian said, standing up and helping Lan Sizhui up as well. He strapped Xingtian to his back as Wei Wuxian turned to the darkness and bowed as deeply as he could. “Thank you for welcoming us into your home.”

He kept his eyes out for it, but he didn’t see the eyes Sizhui was talking about. It didn’t matter. He reached out for Sizhui again and grabbed his sleeve.

“Slow,” he repeated, “We go slow.”

Wei Wuxian kept his mouth shut as they slowly started to head back the way they came. Or, at least, what he thought was the way they came. He had all of one minute of peace before the fae was very clearly upset with them for trying to leave.

“Senior Wei,” Lan Sizhui said, clutching onto him a little tighter, “Senior Wei, something keeps grabbing my feet.”

“Ignore it, it isn’t real,” he assured him. Except it most certainly was real. If it truly was fae, it could make anything they’ve seen real. But Sizhui didn’t need to know that. “Don’t worry. We’ll go, get Lan Zhan or Wen Ning‒actually, no, not Wen Ning, it would be a bad idea to bring him here. Too many things to possess him, no, we’ll get Lan Zhan. I think he’ll get out of his duties if we tell them there’s a fae roaming.”

Wei Wuxian kept rambling. If he kept rambling, it was easier to ignore the voices and easier to pretend like the way his mind was running was his own volition. However, it really didn’t help that neither of them knew which direction they’d come from and it was nearly impossible to backtrack. 

“Sizhui, is there any Lan spell you can cast or a talisman to help lead you?” Wei Wuxian asked. Sizhui shook his head and Wei Wuxian nodded, being cautious as he leaned a little bit closer. “I’m going to show you one, okay? I can’t right now, not in her, so you’ll have to do it for me.”

“Yes, Senior Wei.”

Lan Sizhui watched closely as he showed him how to draw a talisman he’d created to help one find their way. It was how he’d navigated the unfamiliar terrain on his own and made it all the way to Qinghe without a problem. Well, maybe not without a problem, but that was a different story.

He nodded his head as Lan Sizhui memorized it and drew up the talisman. It took the form of a small bird and it began to lead the way. They followed, both watching it intently so they didn’t get confused. Only, something very clearly changed because all of the disorientation stopped. His brain didn’t feel clouded anymore and he could feel the air shift.

“Senior Wei, I think it’s letting us go,” Lan Sizhui said. But that didn’t feel right either. That was too easy.

He looked around and tapped his nose, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Why would it just stop? There was no reason for it to stop. It’d killed countless people, why would it suddenly just let them go free?

But then he understood that it wasn’t that at all. It’d simply resorted to more drastic measures.

The ground beneath them dropped and Lan Sizhui yelled in surprise. Wei Wuxian tried to keep a hold of him, but it didn’t work. He fell for a few seconds before he hit the ground with a thud. Pain shot up his spine and he pouted as he sat up, rubbing his back. 

“Ah, Sizhui, I thought I’d fallen into all the ominous caves life had to offer by now,” Wei Wuxian joked, trying to get his bearings in the dark. Both of the talismans that Sizhui had created had been snuffed out and it was pitch black. His eyes had barely adjusted.

The bigger problem came when Sizhui didn’t answer. In fact, he didn’t make a single sound. Wei Wuxian did his best not to panic as he felt around in the dark for the body of the junior he was supposed to be keeping safe. Not just any junior, Huangang-Jun’s junior. His baby.

“Sizhui? Sizhui!”

His stomach dropped as he scrambled to his feet and turned one way and then turned another, unsure of which direction was the right one. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why hadn’t he thought about this more? Did he really think that the cave famous for disorienting people would be a simple fix?

“Sizhui?!” he called, deciding to say fuck it and used what little his golden core had to offer to create a talisman that gave him light. “A-Yuan!”

“Senior Wei?” Sizhui said, his voice weak and far away. He sounded hurt. It was suddenly harder to breath.

“A-Yuan!” Wei Wuxian yelled again, following the sound of Sizhui’s small little whimpers. There was no way they’d ended up so far from each other. He hadn’t walked after falling, had he? He couldn’t remember.

Gods, what had he done?

It took him too long, but he finally found Sizhui curled up on the ground. Beside him was a pool of blood and there a stick about the width of his finger that had gone clear through his abdomen. Wei Wuxian felt sick. But he refused to show it. Not to him.

“Ah, Lan Sizhui,” he said, voice as calm as ever as he crouched beside him, “Thank you for staying right here to wait for me to find you, that was very good.”

“I’m good?” he asked. Wei Wuxian tried not to feel like his heart broke into a million pieces.

“Yes, of course. You are so good, such a good boy,” he promised, petting his hair lamely. Lan Sizhui nodded softly and breathed out slowly. His forehead was beading with sweat and his eyes were half-lidded. How long had it taken him to get to him? How long had he been bleeding? Was this even real?

But it was real. It was so, so, so fucking real.

“Let me see, alright?” Wei Wuxian said, scooting a bit closer. He dragged the light down a bit so he could see it better. “Do you mind if I move your robes a bit?” Lan Sizhui shook his head and moved his arms a bit to let him.

Wei Wuxian moved them carefully, thankful for the Lan’s ridiculous amount of excess fabric. It made it so much easier to ease off the stick without irritating the wound. Once it was free of fabric, Wei Wuxian could see why it was bleeding so badly despite being plugged. The thicker side had gone through him first and then it’d been jostled a bit when he moved, stretching out the hole in his abdomen. God, where was Lan Wangji when he was needed? 

“Hanguang-Jun my ass,” Wei Wuxian grumbled. Lan Sizhui hummed softly and Wei Wuxian just shook his head. Of course he wasn’t here, it wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t asked to come. He was very distinctly asked not to come. Besides, if he was here, Wei Wuxian would probably be dead because that’s what happened if you hurt the things he loved. And Hanguang-Jun didn’t love very many things. 

Sizhui just so happened to be one of them.

“Right, right, right, okay, ah,” Wei Wuxian said, trying to think of what would be the best way to make sure Sizhui didn’t die. “Fuck, okay, I-I’m going to try to send a butterfly messenger to Lan Zhan and he’ll come. You just have to hold out, okay? You’re a big strong cultivator, you’ll be just fine.”

“Okay, Senior Wei,” Sizhui said softly, nodding as he curled up a little more.

There was so much blood.

Wei Wuxian kept his shaking to a minimum as he carefully constructed a Jin butterfly messenger, whispering to it to make sure it got to Hanguang-Jun as quickly as possible. That Lan Sizhui was hurt. That Wei Wuxian didn’t know how to get out. He sent it and hoped it would make it. Then he turned his attention to Sizhui.

Never had he ever wanted his actual golden core back so badly. He needed to pass him spiritual energy. What he had would do nothing but leave them both weak. And what good was resentful energy when it came to this? Nothing. None of this was good.

“Senior Wei?”

“Yes, I’m here. Keep talking, stay awake with me,” he said. Sizhui nodded.

“Senior Wei, it’s very cold.”

“Ah, right, I’ve got you,” Wei Wuxian promised. He shedded his outer robe and draped it over Sizhui’s body. He shifted a little to pull his head into his lap, hoping that would make him a little more comfortable as well. “Just hold on. Hanguang-Jun is going to come and save the day. He always does.”

“So do you.”

“Not like him.”

“Mn,” Sizhui hummed. Wei Wuxian smiled. He never imagined his little A-Yuan sounding so much like Lan Zhan. Well, his voice was still much higher and softer, but he was a Lan nonetheless.

“You’re going to be okay. I’ve survived so many stupid things, so you’ll survive this. You’ve survived so many things, too. You’re so strong. And you’re a Lan, you’ll be fine,” Wei Wuxian insisted. Maybe if he said it enough times, he would bleed less.

“Can I ask you something?” Lan Sizhui whispered. Wei Wuxian tilted his head back to avoid looking at the growing pool of blood and ran a hand over his hair.

“Ah, of course, anything.”

“When I was little,” he said, breathing in deep until it made him wince, “Did you plan to keep me?”

Wei Wuxian furrowed his eyebrows and looked back down at him. He was so pale and impossibly young. Why did he bring him here? He’s just a kid.

“What are you talking about? Of course I planned to keep you, I wanted to keep all of you safe. I did everything to make sure of it,” Wei Wuxian insisted. Lan Sizhui sighed softly.

“Yes, but…” he trailed off, taking a shallow breath, “Was I just an annoying kid you dealt with or… or did you actually like me?”

Wei Wuxian sighed softly and ran his fingers through his hair, undoing a knot in a messy sort of way like he did when he was little and didn’t like combs. He knew there was probably a Lan rule somewhere that made it against asking questions like this, asking questions that made it seem like you craved attention. He couldn’t remember exactly, but it seemed like the kind of thing they’d ban.

The fact that Sizhui was asking them now only made him feel sick.

“I adored you,” Wei Wuxian told him, “Things were very strange back then. I was writing an entire manuscript on demonic cultivation and trying to keep all of you alive and safe and trying to ignore the cultivation world trying to kill all of you. I was so in my own head, but I adored you and I took care of you. You… You were a group effort. We all cared for you and loved you. If I’d had a choice in the matter, I would’ve kept you.”

Lan Sizhui nodded slightly and said, “Okay. I just wanted to make sure.”

“I remember I used to take you to town because you got so bored. You saw Lan Zhan and you just attached to him right then. I guess I should’ve known you were meant to be his all the way back then,” Wei Wuxian said, touching the back of his hand to his neck. He was cold and his pulse was weaker than it should be. He swallowed hard. Fuck. “He’s going to patch you up when he gets here and, and do that whole dad thing he does when thinks no one’s around.”

“Mn.”

“Lan Zhan loves you,” Wei Wuxian said, ignoring the ache in his gut because it was true and Wei Wuxian had brought him to his death, “He’s going to take great care of you like he’s done your whole life.”

“Mn.”

“Don’t sleep,” Wei Wuxian told him softly.

He took another shallow breath before he said, “I feel sick.”

“I know, I know, but we’re not so far from Gusu. I’m sure Hanguang-Jun is rushing here right now as fast as he can. He’s going to be here any minute,” Wei Wuxian promised. And, gods, he hoped he was right. Wei Wuxian often found himself wanting Lan Wangji by his side, but the very few times he needed him there were always the worst moments. This was one of them.

“Senior Wei?” Sizhui murmured, his voice small and weak and fuck they needed to get out of here. Wei Wuxian rubbed his arm for a little bit of extra warmth.

“That’s it, keep talking, stay awake,” he encouraged. Sizhui took another ragged breath.

“Can you tell me what it feels like to die?”

“No,” Wei Wuxian answered quickly, “No because you’re not dying. You’re going to make it out of here and you’re going to be fine. You know I’d never let you die on my watch and I have no plans to start changing that today.”

“Yeah, but… Please?”

Wei Wuxian swallowed as he looked down at him again. He seemed to get more pale by the second. He hoped that it was just the disorientation that made him look like that.

“I’m the wrong person to ask, honestly. I don’t remember it,” he said. It wasn’t a lie, per say. He really didn’t remember it. He did remember the feeling of relief, though. But he wasn’t about to tell Hanguang-Jun’s son that dying felt nice because Sizhui wasn’t dying. Not tonight, not tomorrow, and definitely not when Wei Wuxian promised to take care of him.

“Oh,” Sizhui said, still small, “That’s okay. I just… wanted to make sure it was not painful.”

“You’re not dying, Sizhui.”

“Yeah, but… If I was, this would be okay,” he said, blinking slightly to look up at him. His eyes were so big and he was so young. Gods, he was so young. “It’s never scary with you, Senior Wei. So… If I die with you here… I’m not scared. Okay? I know you’ll keep me safe even if I die.”

And if Wei Wuxian wasn’t mistaken, it sounded like he was trying to comfort him for what was about to come. He hated that more than he had words for. He clenched his jaw and then willed away the frustration of this entire thing. Silly him to think he’d run out of people to let down, to let die.

“Ah, A-Yuan, you’re giving me too much credit here. Hanguang-Jun is the safe one. He’ll come, don’t think about those things,” he told him.

Wei Wuxian reluctantly moved the robe Lan Sizhui was using as a blanket to check on the blood. The blood stain on his white robes seemed to fluctuate either small or massive each time he tried to get a better look. It made it worse because he couldn’t even gauge how bad it actually was. Damn cave.

“Xian-gege,” A-Yuan said, only the voice was actually A-Yuan. It was the voice of a baby, the one he’d all but left to die so many years prior. He covered him up again and rubbed his arm, hoping to warm him up.

Wei Wuxian himself was beginning to feel a little drained and the talisman began to dim alongside it. As his spiritual energy drained, the more he realized he was being affected again. Great. Just great. Why did he come here with only Lan Sizhui again? Why did he come here at all? Was this really better than facing Lan Zhan and his pretty face and his nice smiles and the uncertainty of it?

“You can call me Xian-gege, you don’t have to call me Senior Wei,” Wei Wuxian told Lan Sizhui, hoping to keep them both alive and awake if he could help it, “You can call me anything you want and I won’t mind, just, please, stay awake, okay?”

“Mn,” Lan Sizhui promised, “Xian-gege?”

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? You did nothing wrong,” Wei Wuxian insisted, patting his head softly.

“You trusted me,” he said, voice small and faint and all perfectly designed to kill him, “And I let you down.”

“You didn’t let me down, Sizhui, you’re doing great. You’re so smart and a good leader and your observation skills are as good as Lan Zhan’s. I will trust you even more after this. We’re going to go on so many more night hunts, it’s going to be so much fun. We’ll, we’ll bring Jingyi next time. Maybe Jin Ling and that Ouyang boy, too. We have so much fun to have. You haven’t done anything wrong,” Wei Wuxian insisted. Next time he wouldn’t be so clouded by his own problems that he completely misread how dangerous a situation was. Stupid mistake.

Wei Wuxian tilted his head back and blinked slowly. He was tired. Where was Lan Zhan?

“If the light goes out, you’ll still stay awake, won’t you?” he asked, starting to feel too tired. Lan Sizhui didn’t answer. He dragged his head to look down at him. “Sizhui?”

He was still and pale and not answering which was possibly the worst thing he’d ever seen. He quickly moved to check his pulse and his breathing. Both were faint and there was not a damn thing he could do. In a fit of stress, he tapped him on the cheek.

“A-Yuan? Wake up. You promised you’d stay awake, now isn’t the time to sleep,” Wei Wuxian told him. The dread that had been sitting idly by in his stomach took over, rising to his throat and damn near choking him. “Please, wake up.”

He didn’t.

Wei Wuxian took another heavy breath and let the light go out before putting his hand on Lan Sizhui’s neck. He did his best to give him every ounce of spiritual energy his body could muster, but it didn’t help. He didn’t wake up. Maybe his pulse got a little more reliable, but that didn’t mean much.

“Lan Zhan,” he called, looking up and wishing that he would just float down. He didn’t care if he got banned from the Cloud Recesses and told he wasn’t allowed to see another Lan disciple ever again, he just needed this Lan disciple to live. He needed Lan Zhan to appear and whisk Lan Sizhui to safety and he could be left to rot. “Lan Zhan!”

He wasn’t sure if it was the disorientation or maybe he passed out because of his low spiritual energy, but when Wei Wuxian opened his eyes again, it seemed some time had passed. He wasn’t sure how much. He pressed his fingers to Lan Sizhui’s neck to check his pulse and his breathing. He was still alive. Good.

Only, this time, he felt eyes on him.

Wei Wuxian very reluctantly looked over to see for himself and, instead of just a set of eyes that Lan Sizhui had seen, he saw a little girl. She was small, maybe three or four, and had Nie braids in her hair and a Jin vermilion mark on her forehead and a Lan forehead ribbon in her small hands. She looked at Wei Wuxian directly with purple eyes that were that special shade the Jiang Sect loved so much.

“Hello,” he greeted, turning to her as best he could with Lan Sizhui in his lap. “Are you the one who lives here? Do you have a name?”

She stepped closer, her robes becoming a little more visible in the light she seemed to bring with her. They weren’t affiliated with any Sect distinctly, but they were all black and blood red. Tiny pieces belonging to the major Sects, eyes belonging to the YunmengJiang, all wrapped up in costume of the Yiling Patriarch. He smiled as friendly as he could, still petting Lan Sizhui’s hair. Maybe she would understand that he needed him to live.

“A-Mei,” she said softly. Wei Wuxian stared at her for a long minute before nodding. 

“That’s very pretty,” he said, “Are you lonely?”

She didn’t answer as she blinked, looking down at Lan Sizhui before looking up at him. Wei Wuxian kept his smile up. If he played his cards right, Sizhui might be able to walk out of here all by himself.

“Have you had fun playing around up here?” he asked, tapping the side of his head, “I know you saw memories of my shijie. She’s very nice, don’t you think? My A-Yuan is nice too, but he’s hurt.”

She reached out and touched Wei Wuxian’s head, patting like he was a dog. He just accepted it and nodded with an encouraging smile.

“I know you want friends,” he said, “I can be your friend. And I can find you more friends. My A-Yuan would love to be your friend. But, you have to understand, humans are so fragile. They need to be alive to be your friend.”

“Alive?” she repeated. Wei Wuxian took a deep breath and nodded, looking down at Sizhui. He looked so small.

“It’s when they breathe and when their heart beats,” he said, “My A-Yuan… He’s not breathing very well. And it, it would make me very sad if he stopped. I can’t be a very good friend if I’m very sad.”

A-Mei blinked a few times, tilting her head to the side. He just needed her to understand, needed her to empathize. But he wasn’t sure if she could empathize. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at her very seriously.

“His dad is coming to help him. Can you please, please, please make sure he gets to him? I’ll stay here with you as long as you can make sure he gets to him.”

“Friend?” she asked. He nodded.

“Yes, yes, I’ll be your friend. We’ll be best friends. I just want him to be okay, that’s all I want. That’s all I want. Just, please, this one thing.”

Wei Wuxian had never said please so many times in his life. He never, ever wanted to say it again.

And then, in response to a flash of light that blinded him for a moment, she disappeared. He looked around for the source of the light only to see Hanguang-Jun himself just floating down. Wei Wuxian shook his head at the dramatic entrance, but, truly, he had never been thankful to see his face. Which was saying something because he was regularly thankful when he saw him.

Except today he looked concerned as he knelt beside Sizhui. Wei Wuxian reached out to squeeze his arm.

“Take him, go get him some help, I’ll find my way out after I deal with the cave,” he said. Lan Zhan looked at him like he was crazy for saying that. “We said we’d deal with this, I can’t just leave until I deal with it.”

Lan Zhan ignored him as he very carefully picked up Sizhui. His face was entirely unguarded and entirely stressed in a way Wei Wuxian didn’t like. He’d wanted for so many years to see his guard down, but now… 

Without saying much, Lan Zhan grabbed Wei Wuxian’s arm and Bichen flew them out of the cave without any trouble. He could’ve argued, but he decided it wasn’t worth it. Not while Lan Sizhui was unconscious and bleeding. Not while it was his fault and Lan Zhan needed to focus so much more on his son than Wei Wuxian’s bullshit.

He could come back later.

Once they got outside of the cave and in the bright moonlight, Lan Zhan laid Lan Sizhui down on the ground, carefully inspecting the stick. Then he just pulled it out. Despite having seen so much worse, Wei Wuxian felt a little nauseous and he turned his back to them, clutching his hands at his sides and trying to stay upright.

They stayed there in silence for what felt like hours. And, when Sizhui was stable enough to be carried to the nearest inn, they stayed silent.

 Lan Zhan got two rooms that were connected because apparently he felt kind enough to get Wei Wuxian a room despite the fact that he almost killed his son. He carried Lan Sizhui to one and laid him down, cleaning and wrapping up the wounds that were already healing because his dad saved the day like he knew he would. Wei Wuxian excused himself to the other room. He didn’t belong there. Not right now, not anymore.

Wei Wuxian sat down on the bed in the other room, breathing in and out and doing a shitty job at trying to meditate. He was tired and weak and covered in Lan Sizhui’s blood and it made it impossible to relax. This was his fault. That little boy that he’d taken care of, that Lan Zhan had saved and raised, had almost died because he was careless. He should’ve been more prepared. He should’ve been smarter. 

He should stop being around people. They always seem to die.

Wei Wuxian slowly started to peel off his layers with shaky hands until he got to his trousers and his undershirt, but he still felt dirty. It was a good thing that he didn’t have many possessions. He didn’t even need to go back to the Cloud Recesses. They could part ways here and he would never have to remind Lan Sizhui that he’d almost been his cause of death. He would never have to remind Lan Zhan that he was a nuisance and unworthy of his attention.

He was in the middle of throwing all his hair up on the top of his head so he could start to clean the blood out of his clothes when someone knocked on the door that connected this one to the one Sizhui was in. When he opened the door, Lan Zhan stood there, tall and regal and stained with his son’s blood.

“May I come in?” he asked. Wei Wuxian nodded and moved out of the way, watching him with a bit of confusion. He was sure that he was going to stay beside Lan Sizhui all night. But maybe he was coming to scold him. Yes, that was fair.

Wei Wuxian left the door open and watched him as he placed Bichen down on the small table. He prepared himself for the fight, the punishment, the anger. He hadn’t prepared to watch Lan Zhan sit down and slowly begin to take his hair pieces out. Like this was normal. Like he planned to sleep here.

“Hanguang-Jun, Your Excellency,” Wei Wuxian said, easily getting his attention. He bowed in a way far more formal than he’d ever cared to before. “I apologize. I never should’ve gone into that cave with just Lan Sizhui and without proper precautions. Thank you for your kindness in still giving me a place to sleep, but I will leave if that’s what you’d prefer.”

“Wei Ying,” he said, the floorboards creaking as he stood up. Wei Wuxian stayed in a bow, finding it harder and harder to keep his composure. Every time he blinked, he saw that little boy bleeding out. Another life on his conscience. The last truly living Wen descendent nearly gone because of him. “No apologies between us.”

“This is more than just us, this is your child who I let bleed out because of my own egotism,” he said. Lan Zhan touched his arms, lifting him out of the bow. When he met his gaze, tears pricked his eyes and he took a step back. “Please don’t touch me.”

Lan Zhan stood in his place, his face still open and unguarded and confused. Why did he think Wei Wuxian deserved that openness? Did he not understand that Lan Sizhui almost died? Why wasn’t he angry?

“Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan asked cautiously, trying to take a step closer.

“I’m fine, stop it,” he said, stepping back. When a tear slipped from his eye, he quickly wiped it away. Lan Zhan only seemed to get more concerned which was unprecedented and unfair. “Why aren’t you yelling at me, or whatever the Lan equivalent of yelling is? Why are you being kind? You need to be mean to me. You, you need to ban me from seeing you ever again and forbid me from ever seeing Sizhui and, like, throw me down a flight of stairs.”

“I,” Lan Zhan said carefully, “I do not understand.”

Wei Wuxian groaned, tilting his head back as another tear fought its way to be the next one to run down his face. Lan Zhan took another step closer and went to reach out to wipe his face, but he seemed to remember being asked not to touch him, so he stopped at the last second. That didn’t stop him from seeming conflicted.

“I almost killed your son. What’s hard to understand about that? I deserve punishment.”

“Sizhui is fine.”

“He is not!” Wei Wuxian said, staring at him with wide eyes. Had his unbridled loyalty clouded him from the truth? “He nearly died because of my selfishness and stupidity!”

“Wei Ying did nothing wrong.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, voice cracking as he desperately willed him to understand, “I almost killed your son. I don’t deserve your comfort.”

Lan Zhan stared at him for a moment and then reached out anyway. One hand went to the back of Wei Wuxian’s head and the other carefully wiped his cheeks. All that did was make him cry more. He didn’t understand why the hell he was being so nice. 

“Our son,” he corrected as if it was that simple. Wei Wuxian huffed a laugh, shaking his head.

“No. He’s more yours than he could ever be mine. I watched him for a year, you raised him for 16,” Wei Wuxian said, “And I know he isn’t going to be angry with me about what happened in that damn cave even though he should be because you raised him too well and he’s too kind. So you’ll have to punish me for him.”

Lan Zhan seemed to ignore the second half of his statement. “Wei Ying gave him to me. He is ours.”

Wei Wuxian whined a shamelessly pathetic, “Lan Zhan…”

“Wei Ying,” he said, stern as he looked him in the eyes so deliberately that it made him feel lost for words, “Everything that he is, everything that he was raised to be, what is he if not…”

“If not what?”

“What is he if not us?” Lan Zhan asked carefully, like he wasn’t sure if those were the right words, “What is he if not what I had of Wei Ying?”

Wei Wuxian stared at him for a long while, slowly but surely deciphering what he meant by that. That he was theirs and it wasn’t a debate. That he’d raised them as theirs and that’s what he was. Wei Wuxian tilted his head forward to rest against his cheek. Lan Zhan hummed softly and his thumb rubbed a small circle behind his ear.

“So I almost killed our son,” Wei Wuxian said, “Sounds like an even bigger reason to punish me.”

“Do you truly want punishment?” Lan Zhan asked. Wei Wuxian swallowed and closed his eyes. Again, all he saw was A-Yuan dying in his lap. When would that go away?

“Yes,” he said honestly. Lan Zhan hummed in agreement.

“When we arrive back at Cloud Recesses, you will copy the rules 300 times,” he said. Wei Wuxian scoffed and lifted his head to look at him again.

“That’s it?” he asked, “That’s nothing. A-Yuan almost died because of me.”

“You will copy the rules 300 times and you will grade tests for me and Brother,” Lan Zhan said, taking a moment to wipe his cheek again, “And you will be in charge of entertaining Sect Leader Yao and Sect Leader Ouyang during each visit.”

“Okay, now you’re being a little cruel,” he said. Lan Zhan smiled just a little, but it was enough. He was okay. Lan Sizhui would be okay. “That’s fair. I accept punishment.”

“Mn.”

“Is Sizhui truly alright?” he asked.

“He needs rest.”

Wei Wuxian took a deep breath and rested his head against his shoulder as Lan Zhan put his hand that wasn’t holding his head on his back. He couldn’t help himself as he thought about the conversation he and Lan Sizhui had had in the cave. They would need to have a talk about it once he was better. He didn’t think he could handle another ‘I’m sorry’ from him, not like that. He shouldn’t have said it in the first place

He took a deep breath, tracing a circle on Lan Zhan’s chest because he could. He was being selfish again. He shouldn’t be accepting comfort like this. But he couldn’t bring himself to stop it.

“Lan Zhan, did you see what was causing all of those things in that cave?” he asked. Lan Zhan shook his head no. “She called herself A-Mei, but we think she’s a fae and that she’s keeping all these people because she wants a friend.”

“It was not disorienting to me.”

“I think she let you come save Sizhui,” Wei Wuxian said, tracing his collarbone, “I asked her nicely. But she was also in my head, so maybe she knew I was panicking.”

“Mn.”

“We still need to deal with it, but I don’t want to kill her. I don’t think she understands she’s hurting people, she’s just lonely,” he said, lifting his head and touching Lan Zhan’s jaw with his fingertips as he draped his other arm around his neck, “Do you have any ideas?”

“Ideas tomorrow. You need rest.”

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes and thought about arguing, but he really was drained and running purely on force of will. So he nodded and let himself look up at Lan Zhan, taking a deep breath. He suddenly couldn’t remember why he’d wanted to get away from him in the first place. Then again, him casually confirming he raised a whole child in his honor was one way to make things easier.

“You really love me, don’t you, Lan Zhan?” he asked. Lan Zhan’s face grew impossibly fond and his ears tinted pink. “I only ask because, you know, the whole regret thing.”

“I loved Wei Ying long before I held regrets.”

“So,” Wei Wuxian said, pushing himself onto his toes and into him a little more. Lan Zhan smiled that little smile of his. “If I got you drunk, would you tell me when exactly that was, or…”

“Mn.”

“Mn,” Wei Wuxian mocked, laying his forehead against his. The little cloud pendant on his forehead ribbon pressed into his skin and he nudged his nose against Lan Zhan’s. “Mn.”

Lan Zhan blinked all slow and traced his ear with his thumb. 

“I’m going to check on Sizhui,” he said. Wei Wuxian nodded and peeled off him without argument. 

He followed for a moment as he walked back into the other room, peering through the doorway. Lan Sizhui was laying on the bed and he had a little more color to him which was good. Lan Zhan sat beside him and touched the back of his hand to his forehead and his cheek before checking his pulse. Then he peeled back the blanket to check the wound, presumably making sure it wasn’t infected. He was so good.

Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but watch the whole time, even when Lan Zhan pulled the blanket back over him and snuffed out all the candles with a simple wave of his hand. He walked back towards the door and Wei Wuxian didn’t move.

“You need rest,” Lan Zhan said.

“And he is going to be okay?” he clarified.

“You did nothing wrong.”

“You did nothing wrong before I died, but you still felt guilty, so I’m allowed to feel guilty about almost killing him,” Wei Wuxian said. Lan Zhan breathed slow and nodded once before grabbing his arm and pulled him towards the bed. “Ah, Lan Zhan, so forceful.”

“Rest.”

Wei Wuxian let himself fall into the bed and tried not to think too much about the fact his clothes would just be covered in Sizhui’s blood when he had to put them on in the morning. He watched as Lan Zhan sealed the exit to both rooms with a talisman and left the door in between the two rooms open just in case. Then he stripped down to just one under robe and his trousers. All three of them would have blood stained clothes, really, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

Lan Zhan kept his forehead ribbon on as he laid down and then snuffed out all the candles in their room. Wei Wuxian waited a breath before scooting closer to him. 

“Goodnight, Wei Ying.”

“Goodnight, Lan Zhan.”

He had no intention to actually sleep. He wanted to keep an ear out for Lan Sizhui and the guilt he felt was showing no signs of leaving him alone. So Wei Wuxian made himself comfortable staring at Lan Zhan’s face as he closed his eyes and took a slow breath.

“Lan Zhan,” he whispered softly in the darkness after a few minutes, “You’re a good dad.”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan hummed, turning his head to look at him. There was a pause before he spoke again. “Wei Ying?”

“Yes?”

“Do you plan to continue to travel?” he asked. The question sounded rehearsed, like he’d been waiting to ask and had considered asking in a million ways. Wei Wuxian leaned forward and nudged his nose against Lan Zhan’s again.

“I would like to stay in the Cloud Recesses,” he admitted softly, “If that’s alright with you. I think maybe I’ve traveled for too long.”

“It is more than alright.”

“Thank you,” Wei Wuxian said, wanting so badly to just kiss him until he couldn’t breathe. But that was probably a bad idea if only because Lan Zhan was already falling asleep. “For always being there when I need you.”

Wei Wuxian put his hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat and the gentle rise and fall of his breathing. He let that keep him grounded as he started to think about the fae in the cave. How could they give her a friend so that she didn’t resort to confusing them or trapping them into companionship?

He thought about that moment before Lan Zhan had showed up. She’d clearly understood that, to save Lan Sizhui, Lan Zhan needed to get to them. And she didn’t try to fight when he took Wei Wuxian with him. Maybe she knew he was going to return. Would that be enough? The promise of returning?

But, no, that couldn’t be enough because he couldn’t do that every day of his life. He needed to find her an actual companion. Something to see her and spend time with her and want to be there without obligation. Something that could stay with her for eternity as she would be there for that long. Even if it was strange or unlikely or unconventional.

Something like his Lan Zhan was for him.

In a blur of an idea and his own impulsive nature, Wei Wuxian jumped to his feet and quickly grabbed his robe and left the room before either Lan could wake up. He didn’t want them with him there anyway. Less of a risk.

On the way back to the cave, he grabbed a stick of bamboo and carved it into a shotty replica of Chenqing. He hadn’t brought it because he didn’t want to be tempted, but now he needed that and he was going to use whatever he could get his hands on.

He made it back to the cave and saw a bloodstain on the ground outside of it. Wei Wuxian held his head up high and brought the flute to his lips. Quietly, he played Lan Zhan’s song and walked inside the cave.

It took him five steps before A-Mei showed her face again. She was still in her Yiling Patriarch robes and she watched him quizzically. He smiled and lowered the flute for a moment to wave at her.

“I told you I would come back,” he said. She smiled a shy smile and bowed her head, clutching the Lan ribbon in her fist. “I was trying to think of a companion for you and I realized you already have so many in here. But they’re all scared and lonely and it will scare away anyone new. So why don’t we let them go, alright? Let’s put them to rest.”

It didn’t take much convincing. Something about him must’ve seemed trustworthy because she nodded and led the way.

For hours, it seemed, he played for the spirits who needed guidance and peace and to be remembered and she would let them go. One by one, all different ages from all different moments in history. There were so many.

When the sun finally rose, he found himself sitting with her in the heart of the cave. It was bright, her power overwhelmingly strong now that she didn’t need to use it to keep all the ghosts around. 

“You did so very good,” he praised her. A-Mei smiled at him. For a moment, he was reminded of little A-Yuan and he couldn’t wait to see him up and walking again. “You understand I can’t stay, don’t you?”

Her smile faded, but she nodded solemnly. 

“I have my companion out there, I can’t,” he said, “I think I know where I can find you a friend, but for that you’ll have to do something very important. You’ll have to leave the cave.” Her eyes widened. “I understand it’s scary. But sometimes you have to go where you don’t expect to find a nice place to call home. And I’ll be with you the entire way until we get there.”

Wei Wuxian sat with her for a while, telling her the story of a mountain that had tons of ghosts filling it that were already there and already lonely. She would be a nice, new thing and they would all take care of her. They took care of him. It was obviously different for him, but they kept him alive despite the horrors of it. She wouldn’t be as hard to take care of and she would fit in much easier. 

“I’ll be back later to come get you and we’ll head straight there,” he promised, “But I have to go tell my companion where I’ll be so he doesn’t worry. Do you understand?”

A-Mei nodded her head and he bowed to her before leaving.

He made his way back out of the cave and to the inn, feeling a bit better about the situation. As long as Lan Sizhui was alright and Lan Zhan still loved him, then everything would be fine. It had to be. He didn’t need to think about how he could’ve done that the first time he went and Lan Sizhui wouldn’t have gotten hurt. He hadn’t, there was nothing he could do about the past.

Fatigue wore heavy on his shoulders as he slowly climbed up the steps to his room. When he opened the door, Lan Zhan was already dressed in clothes that had not a drop of blood and was cleaning up Lan Sizhui. Lan Zhan looked over at him with that slightly pointed gaze that showed he was not amused that he’d been gone all night. It made him feel warm so he smiled.

“Did you miss me?”

“You should have woken me,” Lan Zhan said. Wei Wuxian walked up behind him and draped himself across his back, looking down at Lan Sizhui from over his shoulder. He looked much better.

“I just went to talk to my new friend A-Mei and we put to rest some ghosts,” Wei Wuxian told him, giving him a little squeeze around the neck. Lan Zhan sighed and moved Lan Sizhui’s blanket. “I’m going to take her to the Burial Mounds so she can have friends.”

Lan Zhan froze and looked over his shoulder, concern creased in his eyes. Wei Wuxian smiled wider.

“Don’t worry so much, Lan Zhan, it’ll be fine. I plan to set up wards so she can’t get out. I’ll come right back to Cloud Recesses afterwards to annoy you again, you won’t even notice I’m gone,” he insisted. Lan Zhan looked at him with a very serious expression.

“Be safe, Wei Ying.”

“I’m always safe, what do you mean?” Lan Zhan very clearly didn’t find that funny. “Enough about me, how is he?”

“He should wake up soon. I have someone coming with a cart,” he said. Wei Wuxian nodded, dragging his fingers over Lan Zhan’s chest. He closed his eyes when Lan Zhan exposed Lan Sizhui’s wounds. 

He didn’t actually know when that guilt would go away. It weighed heavy on him even though Lan Sizhui was okay. Maybe when he saw him up and about again he’d feel better. Hopefully. Still, he bowed his head against Lan Zhan’s neck and tried to think of anything but the fact it was his fault that little A-Yuan was lying unconscious with a hole through him.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said after a moment, his voice deep and resonating. It seemed to show Wei Wuxian just how tired he actually was. He’d been tired before he spent the night playing a song for ghosts and talking to thousand year old fae children. Now, laying against Lan Zhan, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

“Hm?”

“Wei Ying,” he repeated, reaching back and stroking his hair gently, “Get some rest.”

“That’s so boring,” Wei Wuxian groaned, nuzzling into his neck a bit more, “Can’t you just ravish me first to make it interesting?”

Instead of the dramatic reaction he would’ve gotten from a teenage Lan Wanji, Lan Zhan’s neck just felt a bit hot and he actually laughed. It was breathy and short and quiet, but it was a laugh. He followed it up by scratching his scalp.

“Mn,” he said, “In the Jingshi.”

Wei Wuxian lifted his head, eyes a little wide as he looked at him. He didn’t seem to be joking and all that did was make Wei Wuxian let out a flustered little laugh. He still was unsure how to navigate a response to this much more shameless Lan Zhan.

“Please rest,” he requested and Wei Wuxian nodded his head.

It took more effort than he was willing to admit to peel himself off of Lan Zhan’s back and then he was left craving him again. He made it to the connecting doorway before he turned back to him only to see he was already watching him. 

“You should come lay with me,” Wei Wuxian suggested, “I know it’s against GusuLan Sect rules or whatever to sleep during the day, but I think you should break one for me. Just one. That’s it.”

Lan Zhan tilted his head and asked, “Just one?”

Wei Wuxian smiled and leaned against the doorway, gently kicking the floor. He was so fucking tired, but he wasn’t sure he would sleep if he tried to do that alone. Sleeping had always been difficult. He always did it a little better with Lan Zhan there.

Besides, he wanted to think about anything other than the fact that he’d gotten Lan Sizhui hurt and that he would again not see Lan Zhan as he walked A-Mei to the Burial Mounds.

“It’s so boring by myself,” Wei Wuxian pouted, resting his cheek against the door frame. Lan Zhan smiled fondly and rose to his feet. He walked towards him in that elegant way he always did. Wei Wuxian would swear that he was just gliding always. 

And he walked straight up to Wei Wuxian, not even trying to push past him. Instead, he stood in the doorway with him, making it impossible to do anything but be pressed up against the door frame and his body. He could feel his cheeks burning.

“You need to sleep,” Lan Zhan said, touching his fingers to his jaw. Wei Wuxian laughed softly, but Lan Zhan just leaned a little closer. “I do not blame Wei Ying for Sizhui being hurt. Do you understand me?”

Wei Wuxian let out a breath and nodded his head, feeling a little more overwhelmed than he’d anticipated. Lan Zhan didn’t move as he blinked and stared at him. He seemed to make up mind, though, and leaned forward just a little more and used his fingers to tilt Wei Wuxian’s chin up a bit. 

And he kissed him.

It was short, but it was slow and sweet and it had Wei Wuxian feeling like he was going to melt. He laughed a flustered laugh as Lan Zhan pulled away. It took Wei Wuxian a few minutes longer than he’d ever admit to adjust to a reality where he could do that.

“Sleep,” Lan Zhan told him. Wei Wuxian nodded.

“Okay.”

He kept his eyes on him the entire time as he took off the dirty robe for a second time. Lan Zhan just sat on the bed and waited for him. He got in bed quickly and let his head hit the pillow, staring up at Lan Zhan as he took his time taking his hair pieces out. He truly was the best distraction in the world.

When he laid down, he pulled Wei Wuxian close without a thought and pushed his head into his shoulder. It gave him no choice but to close his eyes and focus on sleep. And he really, really dreaded a day he would have to sleep alone again.

Wei Wuxian didn’t actually know how long he slept for, but he’d clearly needed it. He woke up feeling sore from where he’d fallen in the cave and had all but forgotten about until he slept so hard that it reminded him. Then again, he regularly woke up feeling sore.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Lan Zhan was kneeling at the table and pouring tea. Wei Wuxian yawned and climbed out of bed, walking towards him. He could’ve sat anywhere to eat, but he chose to drape himself over his back again. Lan Zhan didn’t fight him as Wei Wuxian touched his jaw and urged him to look over his shoulder where he was met with a kiss. Because they did that now. 

He did a much better job at reacting like an adult this time.

“I wish you would’ve waited until after I took A-Mei to the Burial Mounds to kiss me,” Wei Wuxian pouted, “How am I supposed to survive without them now? Lan Zhan, it will be horrible.”

“I suppose you will have to come home soon, then.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan, I see. You knew exactly what you were doing then.”

Lan Zhan didn’t confirm nor deny which just told Wei Wuxian everything he needed to know. He smiled wide and moved in for another kiss.

“Senior Wei?” that very familiar, sweet voice said. Wei Wuxian looked up towards Lan Sizhui and he was on his feet in seconds. He sat on the bed beside him, offering a wide smile as he slowly opened his eyes.

“It’s about time. You’ve slept so much! What would Grandmaster say?” Wei Wuxian said. Lan Zhan carefully checked over him as he slowly adjusted back to waking life after sleeping for so long. When he moved to sit up, he gasped in pain and Wei Wuxian quickly went to make sure he laid back down. “Ah, I didn’t say sit up!”

“How are you feeling?” Lan Zhan asked.

“I’m fine,” Lan Sizhui said.

“Lying is forbidden,” Wei Wuxian said. Lan Sizhui sighed softly.

“I will be fine.”

Wei Wuxian was all too reminded of inside the cave when he had tried to comfort him while he was dying. He couldn’t tell if Sizhui was truly that considerate or had too many role models of people who couldn’t just be honest when they were in pain.

“You need to eat,” Lan Zhan said, “I will be right back.”

Wei Wuxian watched the door and waited until it was fully closed before he turned back to Lan Sizhui. He only had a few minutes to have an actual talk with him without Lan Zhan hearing and, truthfully, it wasn’t a conversation he was keen on Lan Zhan overhearing.

“Did we fix it?” Lan Sizhui asked, “The cave? Did we figure it out?”

“You were right, it’s a fae,” Wei Wuxian told him, “I’m going to take her to the Burial Mounds so she’ll have ghosts to befriend and no one to kill. But I want to tell you that I am very sorry about what happened. I should’ve taken better care of you.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Lan Sizhui said, his eyebrows pulled together in concern. He was such a good kid. “People get hurt during night hunts all the time.”

“Ah, yes, but I went in very unprepared and you suffered for it. And,” he paused, trying to find the best way to find the words. He hated having to have talks. “And I refuse to have you in a position where you feel the need to apologize to me for my mistakes again. I think it will be best if we don’t go on night hunts any longer unless someone who is my superior also attends.”

Sizhui’s concern grew into something even bigger and he tried to sit up despite the pain. Wei Wuxian tried to make him lay back down, but he was far too stubborn.

“That isn’t fair. You know that won’t happen often. If it was your fault, then why am I being punished for it?” Sizhui demanded. It was very un-Lan-like of him, he’d clearly been around Jingyi too much.

Or maybe he’d been around Wei Wuxian too much.

“You aren’t, I’m being punished for it. I enjoy going on night hunts with you very much, you’re very smart and observant, but I have been the cause of too many people dying and you won’t be the next. Do you understand?” Wei Wuxian said. Lan Sizhui stared at him, breathing hard through the pain with red cheeks. He fully expected a Lan-like ‘Yes, Senior Wei’ and for him to lay back down.

But clearly almost dying did something to a man.

“No,” Lan Sizhui said firmly. Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened. “No, I don’t understand. You are being unfair which is against the rules. I want you to teach me. You owe it to me to teach me.”

“Oh, I owe you?”

“Yes! Hanguang-Jun taught me, Zewu-Jun taught me, Wen-shushu taught me, but you stopped teaching me when I was little and I only just now got you back to teach me again. So, so that is your punishment. Teaching me when you don’t want to. Do you understand, Xian-gege?” Lan Sizhui said, his face getting redder by the moment either from the anger or from straining himself. Wei Wuxian scoffed before he slowly broke into a smile. Sizhui’s angry face started to falter.

“Well, damn, I didn’t know you had it in you,” Wei Wuxian laughed, feeling lighter than he had since they first walked into that damn cave, “So commanding! And giving me punishment?! Ah, you truly are a big strong cultivator. Aren’t you in line to be Sect Leader? If not, you should be! You have all the makings of it, clearly.”

Sizhui swallowed visibly and slowly went to lay back down. Wei Wuxian leaned over him and straightened his forehead ribbon before pinching his cheek. 

“Ah, my little A-Yuan, you’re so grown,” he sighed, leaning back, “Fine, fine, I’ll teach you. If only because it’s my punishment.”

“Good,” Lan Sizhui said, glaring half-heartedly at him. Wei Wuxian laughed.

“You Lans get hurt bad enough and just let all your emotions loose, it’s the only good thing about it,” he said, “But we’ll be more careful next time. And you’ll stop taking angry notes from Jin Ling and Jiang Cheng because you sounded like them for a moment there.”

Lan Sizhui relaxed more and smiled a little which made him feel immensely better. If he was smiling and yelling, those were good things. He really was going to be okay.

“I apologize for yelling at you, Senior Wei,” Sizhui said after a moment, his sweet little voice back to his normal Lan tone. Wei Wuxian laughed again.

“No apologies between us after this.”

Lan Zhan walked back into the room a few moments later with a tray of food and completely unaware of their talk. Which was good. He didn’t need to know. 

He knelt down on the table and doled out the soup he’d been given into three bowls and Wei Wuxian watched him fondly. It would be impossible not to. He sat all three on the table and then stared at them for a moment as if trying to calculate how Sizhui would eat his at the table when he needed to stay in bed. He was adorable in all his rule-abiding nature.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian called, “Just bring all three here and we’ll eat in bed.”

When Lan Zhan looked up at him, he seemed very scandalized by that suggestion. Wei Wuxian just smiled wide and nodded for him to come closer. It took a small staring contest before he eventually listened.

Lan Sizhui sat up again, this time with the help of Wei Wuxian stuffing pillows around him so it didn’t strain him as much. Lan Zhan gave him his bowl very carefully and Lan Sizhui bowed his head in thanks. Wei Wuxian accepted his bowl and immediately leaned against Lan Zhan.

“We should do this more often,” Wei Wuxian suggested, “Without the near-death experience, preferably.”

“Mn.”

Wei Wuxian smiled as he took a bite. Tomorrow, he would be headed to the Burial Mounds with A-Mei. Tomorrow, he would have to give another temporary goodbye to Lan Zhan and Sizhui. Tomorrow, he would have to put back on his clothes stained with blood. But tonight, he could have dinner with his family and that was something he hadn’t had the luxury to do in far too long.

He planned to enjoy it.

[sifeng]

Review: Joy of Life

Not going to lie, when I first started this drama, in February or something, I didn’t really like it all that much, I don’t know why, the first episode just lacked... something? But I tried again this summer and wow! Joy of Life has made its way on my favorite dramas ever! I can’t believe I have to wait 2 whole years for the second season!

Plot:

Fan Xian grew up in a small town by the sea with his grandmother, following a sudden visit of a poison master, his peaceful life quickly morph into one filled with danger and hardship. After becoming rather skilled with medicine, poison and martial arts, he goes to the capital to find out more about his mysterious mother. He ends up on an adventure of marvelling the world, getting tangled in politics, finding true love, figuring out his purpose in life and secrets of his world.

Cast:

Zhang Ruoyun (张若昀) as Fan Xian (范闲)

Li Qin (李沁) as Lin Wan’er (林婉儿)

Chen Daoming (陈道明) as the Emperor (皇上)

Wu Gang (吴刚) as Chen Pingping (陈萍萍)

My Opinions:

Plot (My Rating - A):

The plot is one of the greatest highlights of this show (but then again, acting and characters are also amazing). There are so many schemes and ploys that only get revealed bit by bit until the big reveal of like “whose behind whatever whatever” and you’re just like super amazed. It’s so amazing! The pacing is also great because this show never leaves you bored for a second, every single scene is either super important to the plot, to the romances or to the comedy. It’s one of those shows that once you start, you cannot possibly drop. 

Scheming put aside, there’s also a really interesting human aspect to this show. Seeing Fan Xian, a man from modern times, speak with the people of Qing, who care more about the big picture than the moment in front of them, who wouldn’t think twice to throw themselves in front of death in order to save their country. To see him be so upset at a death, while everyone else calmly watches and insists that he ought to be totally happy about it because at least he didn’t die was so interesting, yet heartbreaking. Interesting because it really shows the fundamental difference between times, and heartbreaking because every time someone said “he was just a guard” I want to punch them in the face. 

Also the time-travel was explained in such a cool way. So much more complicated and interesting than the simple “it was a dream”. The scene of Ye Qingmei’s arrival in Qing was sooooo cool (fun fact, that was actually the scene that made me interested in this show). There are so many mysteries left to be solved next season and I cannot wait 2 years just to figure out who Ying Zi is! Or what is hidden in the manor! Or what their wuxia skills are if Zhen qi is not real. Or why the godly temple changes according to everyone’s imagination and how it just... disappeared. Honestly there’s too many questions left in my brain to possibly list them all. 

Acting (My Rating - A):

I mean, with veteran actors the likes of Chen Daoming and Wu Gang the acting level of this show must be good. Zhang Ruoyun is definitely one of the most talented actors of the younger generation, he manages to be both ruthless and cruel when seeking revenge, yet playful and witty other times. Li Qin is also a great actress! She does better with more complex roles (like when she turned evil in Princess Agents, that was some great acting!) but Wan’er, despite her simplicity, is still very lovable thanks to her portrayal. There was one scene with the emperor that really made me shiver (when he “forgave” that judge). Such good acting! I also really like Li Chun’s portrayal of Si Lili, Xin Zhilei’s of Haitang Duoduo (a very lovable character), Liu Duanduan’s of the Second Prince and Song Yi’s of Fan Ruoruo.

Also Guo Qilin as Fan Sizhe and Tian Yu as Wang Qinian! The two roles basically created for comic relief are not only lovable, but also acted so well! The comedy doesn’t seem forced nor awkward, it just feels very natural. The only problem I have with the acting is that Fan Xian and Lin Wan’er don’t have that much chemistry. Like, they are cute together and will certainly be a great couple, but I just don’t feel the love between them. It’s kind of awkward though, especially when you see Fan Xian with the other ladies that like him because for some reason they manage to have more chemistry than the main couple.  

Characters (My Rating - A):

One of Wang Juan’s great talents in scriptwriting is the ability to make every character complex. There are no evil characters that are evil, to be evil, nor any characters that are only pure goodness, because that is how humans are. People have motives to do actions, and all actions have consequences. There is no black and white, only grey space. I found it amazing that, with one line, Cheng Jushu, a character that could have existed to be a tool in the plot, became a character worthy of sympathy and deeper analyzing. All the characters, with some exceptions of course, are so lovable! I love Fan Xian’s sarcastic and cunning personality! Actually, I love the entire Fan family! Fan Jian seems like a cold person on the outside but is actually cares a lot for his children, even Fan Xian, Liu Ruyu also treats Fan Xian like a member of the family despite his illegitimate child status (though it took some time for her to like him), Fan Sizhe is just so hilarious and cute, and Fan Ruoruo is such a great sister! 

Cinematography (My Rating - B+): I don’t like the fact that that sometimes the faces look almost like... green? But some shots are really pretty and beautiful. The fight scenes are also quite nice, no overuse of slomo and good mix of doubles and real people. 

Sets/Costumes (My Rating - A): The sets for the palace and several streets are really exquisite and seem really realistic. The sets for the brothel and the Qing palace were especially pretty. The costumes are also really pretty! Wan’er’s dresses look like those fit for a princess! 

Music (My Rating - A-): There are only two OSTs, but both are so great! Li Jian’s title song instantly brings you into a guzhuang mood (if that is a thing), while Xiao Zhan’s ending song is really catchy. The songs played within the show are also really nicely chosen. They fit with the scenes really well! 

Overall Rating: A+

Recommend For: People looking for an intelligent drama that is not only full of suspense and mysteries, but also several storylines intertwined. People who want to see smart characters participate in a battle of the brains with all sorts of tricks and plots. Also if you liked dramas like Nirvana in Fire or Young Blood then Joy of Life is definitely your thing!

[watch-grok-brainrot]

hey!! i'm back again with another ask! (god please tell me if i'm annoying? i just want to send you as many asks as i can but if i get too annoying, pls tell me off) my questions today are, what are your top 3 songs from the cql ost and what tea do you not like? like, is there a tea you don't like? also, is there a tea you like in particular? what cdramas have you watched besides cql?? - ❄🐇

hey snowbunny! you’re not annoying! i really appreciate you being so engaged with the mdzsnetcc event! :D 

cql ost fav songs: the characters songs for jiang cheng, lan xichen, and wei wuxian. they’re all so pretty and so sad. bu wang kinda  annoys me with the epic orchestra thing in the middle and wuji almost makes the cut but it’s just not as depressing as the others. though wei wuxian’s character song does lose points for the duet part that has a female voice and not yibo singing along... alas. 

i don’t like lipton? lol. so most ctc blends i’m meh on... but i don’t add milk and sugar to my tea for the most part so i need something that works well by itself and most ctc teas are made for british style drinking. 

i like many teas in particular. particularly their aroma and texture. some are light and airy and sweet. some are heavy and grounding. some are earthy and warming and smooth. i love so many teas for so many reasons. i can’t even begin to explain. i think high elevation taiwanese oolongs with crisp sweet and floral notes are a style that i will always love and always hold dear to my heart. 

i used to be really into BPAL (black phoenix alchemy lab) because i like the idea of smells carrying memories for people. and i like the idea of being able to differentiate smells and remember how things blend together to form flavors and then, in extension, feelings. so i got really into bpal -- which is an indie perfume company-- and started collecting samples (imps). in all of that i started getting better at picking out certain smell objects (e.g. rose or orange or honey etc) and really loving how bpal smells different wet in bottle, wet on me, dry on me, and dry at the end of a day. 

and then i realized tea has a lot of those qualities. it tastes different piping hot and kinda hot and warm and cooled. it has layers and dimensions. when you gongfu brew you can almost parse out the layers of flavors and really experience isolated snapshots of the tea as a whole. i liken it to chromatography for the chemistry folk. and in some ways tea became the merging of my nerdy science self and smell obsessed self and my gluttonous self. so it was a good fit. also booze. but booze is less.. socially acceptable to drink 24/7. :P

wow. that got long. oops. 

anyway, cdramas. omg. uh... a lot. i’m chinese so i grew up watching stuff... like i’ve been watching cdramas for a LONG time. (note: i went on a long ramble and i’m kinda sorry so don’t feel obligated to read all of this... ) i watched the mainland china’s version of journey to the west (made in 1986 i think.. go them on video tapes borrowed from idk where in the early 90s... the one episode i wanted to watch the most didn’t work. i was devastated).  and then a lot of wuxia shows -- mostly jin yong stuff. i remember i was 8 or 9 and watched a few eps of condor heroes. my parents finished the show without me. i was pissed. and at some point i watched dream of red mansion and romance of three kingdoms. both classics made into cdramas. and then i remember when zhao wei was in princess pearl. and i also watched 情深深雨蒙蒙 with basically the same cast... and a lot of other wuxia shows that came out around that time..uh.. early 2000s. i remember watching some show with zhou xun in it too around that time... and trying to find more stuff with zhang ziyi. man... zhou xun, zhao wei, and zhang ziyi were and are still all so pretty! and then i watched liu yifei (of live action mulan infamy) back in 2003(?) when she was in a few jin yong novel based show roles. and then um... i kinda got annoyed with the constant remake of those stories so i stopped watching them. but i did enjoy 天龙八部 and 笑傲江湖. seriously, i would watch the crap out of a 笑傲江湖 starring xiao zhan... but the novels were written in the 60s/70s and rather not LGBT friendly so i’m also fine with them never getting remakes... and then there was the meteor garden craze. i watched that, part of teh sequel (which wasn’t very good) and a few shows the actors were in... i really liked the MARS manga and was sad that the taiwanese adaptation of it as a show was meh. and around 2013-2014ish i started watching random crap... uh... like my first time seeing luo yunxi (who plays the white cat master aka chu wanning in hao yi xing / the erha live action) was in 何以笙箫默. and i was so confused by how weirdly they styled the poor man. he did not look good. the stying really emphasized his facial features to make his face look unbalanced. and i binged a few other shows while trying to write my thesis. i don’t remember them all. and then there was NiF and i also watched the Disguiser and some other random stuff as part of that rabbit hole. i thought “when a snail falls in love” was really cute even if the story wasn’t really that good. idk. i now put cdramas on in the bkgd while making gifs. so i’ve “watched” eternal love, ashes of love (DO NOT RECOMMEND. but skip around for luo yunxi being pretty i guess), love o2o. i’m currently seriously watcihng Ever Night. it’s so freaking good and king’s avatar (also on netflix) is my gif making bkgd. i have a soft spot for how pretty yang yang is... yeah. knowing the language helps me get through shows. lol. 

do you watch other cdramas snowbunny?

[peerless-soshi]

I'm just curious, what do you ship in mxtx novels? ;)

I hope you have some time because it’s gonna be a long answer, hahaha :D

There is something amazing about the way MXTX writes romance because I end up falling for every canon and implied canon couple. I just… love them all? And I usually don’t like romance driven stories. As much as I am a shipper, I often get annoyed or bored with excessively romantic plots… Let’s be honest, most love cliches are irritating. And dull. But MXTX writes so enjoyable and heartwarming love stories… I fall in love with her characters’ love. 

I shared some of my thoughts about Wei WuXian/Lan WangJi here. Yes, at the beginning I didn’t really like them… Shame on me? But I am not the biggest fan of cold and distant love interests who are way too cool for you. And the way he first acted towards WWX - taking him to Gusu despite his objections, closing him in his room - not gonna lie, I was disappointed by it. Look at me now. WangXian is OTP for life. It’s perfect. Give me a man like LWJ. MXTX expanded their story and with every new detail I loved them a little more. It’s just… such a deep, honest and selfless love story. So romantic in its simplicity. In loyalty. All epic events are taking place on one line while the developing relationship between two main characters is beautiful because of how close it is to our hearts. It’s not about epic fights but rather about small gestures and moments they share. And wow, I am amazed by the way MXTX crafted them. Every scene with WWX and LWJ is powerful. How do you put so many feelings in your writing? 

I think Luo Binghe/Shen QingQiu gave me the most complicated feelings, hahaha. First I wasn’t sure how to feel about their relationship because there were some things I kinda disliked? They grew on my after side stories, when I saw their love on the finale stage, but I also got used to them. I like their development and enjoy a lot of interactions between them. In the end, it’s a story about two people making mistakes, over and over again, and I may be a little impatient and in need to see them happy ;) But BingQiu is also a great ship and I love it from the bottom of my heart. 

I still can’t say much about Xie Lian/Hua Cheng because I’m not up to date with Heaven’s Official Blessing. Sorry! But they give me vibes of another couple that I will love more than nutella. Who doesn’t like some good, tragic and loving stories? They seem to be a couple diving in the endless world of love and care and I am all for that after some angst. Yes, I’m giving MXTX a credit of trust.

I’m still laughing at how much I ended up shipping Shang Qinghua/Mobei Jun. I feel my sense of humor is to be judged… But Airplane side story made me laugh out loud and promoted Airplane Bro to one of my fav MXTX characters. Even if it was short, I’m in love in MoShang development. I think MXTX wrote MBJ similar to LWJ - introduced as cold and cool and ending up as a not so cool fool. But please - the King made Airplane ramen. He probably stood in the kitchen in all his majesty and tried to cook, even if he had no idea how to do it. Who wouldn’t fall for this? 

Another side ship I like a lot is Jin ZiXuan/Jiang Yanli. I’m still so sad that we didn’t get a side story with them… I would love to read more about this relationship, especially about the love letter mentioned by MXTX as a trivia. They are precious. And they have potential. Truth be told, they somehow remind me of MoShang - again, ZXY appears to be a very unapproachable character until he falls in love and makes a fool of himself.  I’m dying to know just how many times he made something stupid in front of his wife. 

From crack couples, I like Lan XiChen/Jin GuangYao. I admit, I was lost the moment I saw spoilers and JGY’s last words. Even if I don’t like him, it really hurt, and raised my feelings towards this ship up to the sky. What’s more, looking at the Lan Clan, LXC will need to work hard to beat his family tradition of falling in love with murders :)

Ning Yingying/Liu Mingyan, anybody? I don’t know, after this whole bullshit with Sister Liu covering her face because she was so beautiful that men couldn’t talk to her normally, I felt the urge to give her to girls. I hope Airplane Bro will accept it. Sister Yingying spends too much time in the manly world, she needs a female friend and Sister Liu was shown to build friendship with other girls so I think it’s a good match. 

I would be a big, big liar if I didn’t admit that I have a soft spot for both Wei WuXian/Wen Ning and Shen QingQiu/Liu Qingge. Maybe I won’t demand a love triangle since canon couples are perfect… But still, I like their dynamics, I like them together, I find them a nice alternative. 

For the bravest who stayed with me until this point, Xiao Xingchen/Xue Yang..Of course I don’t mean it in the ‘get married, be happy’ kind of shipping. They shared a very complicated bond, absolutely incomparable with any other fictional relationship I can think about, and MXTX put a lot of work to show them together. I don’t want to talk too much now - I have a Xue Yang analysts in my drafts and I’m too lazy to finish it - but I appreciate darker motives and the way MXTX led this subplot. 

Lastly but not the last, I deeply love every joke with Jiang Cheng forever alone uncle.  

[klbloodx]

HLS Chapter 1 - 2027.2.11 Xiaonian①

Eight days before the Spring Festival of 2027, Xiao Nanzhu, who had been a soldier for eight or nine years on the outside, finally ended his military career and returned to his hometown, Y City.

Although Y city was his hometown, in reality, his home was no longer here. He had no parents, and his only family member had been his grandmother. That old lady had gone to the heavens in the same year he joined the army. Because he was short on money, Xiao Nanzhu, who was still serving in the army, could not afford a local property on his own after the demolition of the old city area.

Now that he has retired from the army, the army's transfer fees given by the military are not much. Apart from a body full of strength, he doesn’t have any proficient skills. His comrades-in-arms had asked him about his future plans before his transfer. However, Xiao Nanzhu just laughed casually, then passed on with just one sentence.

“Let nature take its course,” he said.

To him, Y city was just a short resting place after wandering for so many years, but regarding his future, Xiao Nanzhu, who is now reaching 30, hasn’t actually put much thought into it.

The first half of his life was all spent in this city. Before the old lady died and her house was demolished, he lived in a very old-fashioned alley during his childhood. The alley was not a broad one, but it connected more than twenty or thirty families. Most of them were old neighbors who had lived nearby for more than sixty years. These neighbors were familiar with each other, and most of them were engaged in similar livelihood.

(source: net, the alleys should look something like this)

Since Y City can also be known as a famous historical and cultural city tracing back from ancient times, most of the people found in these old alleys are either elders who are familiar with traditional folk customs, or antiques sellers who are able to discern paintings and calligraphy, or physiognomists who know skills of Mogu②, or mediums to be involved in Tiaodashen③, or as Chinese doctors who do acupuncture and prescribe Chinese medicine. In short, all kinds of old stuff that will be eradicated anytime now.

Someone such as Xiao Nanzhu's grandmother is a person who picks auspicious days for people. Whenever a girl in the alley gets married, or whose home need to shangliangs④, they will need to find time for Xiao Nanzhu's grandmother to pick a day to do these.

The old lady doesn’t go out usually; she depends on customers who wish to pick an auspicious day to earn some pocket money for her grandson’s nutrient supplements, and after such 3 or 4 generations passed down, these younger generations who grew up here inevitably became friends. This time when Xiao Nanzhu returned from the army, the first person he informs is his childhood buddy whom he grew up with.

Speaking of this guy, Xiao Nanzhu has not seen him for about five or six years. The management in the army was strict; he didn’t have the chance to meet him even on off-days for family visits.

What remains in his memory today is only a few scenes of two twelve-year-old kids exploring the alleys, but to truly recall what happened, there are only a few messy and yellowish memory pieces of them living in that alley left.

"Xiao Nanzhu... Xiao Nanzhu! Those guys from Alley 3 are catching up!"

"Quick! Situ Zhang! Let's go! Run!"

Thinking over it, the memory of these young years is also strangely precious to remember. So, with the thoughts of his hometown and his old friends in mind, Xiao Nanzhu reached home.

It was the Lunar New Year's Eve the day he arrived at Y City. Advancing through the large surge of people returning home for reunion during year end, he came out of the railway station alone with his few bags of luggage. His eyes blurred from the cold.

During winter, the streets and alleys were covered by white. Pedestrians on the roads can be seen smiling as Spring Festival approaches. Most passersby outside the station were rushing home with luggage, which made this man with tall stature with his face froze white by the cold, to be somewhat an intruder to his surroundings.

He bought a packet of Yuxi⑤ at the station’s entrance. As he was about to frown, bite the filter in his mouth and take a puff, he heard a loud call shouting from a distance.

“Xiao Nanzhu! Xiao Nanzhu! Come here! Hey! What are you doing standing there like an idiot?”

A tall man with a crew cut, wearing a hopelessly large black jacket and a pair of round sunglasses grinning and his mouth wide as he was shouting. This, from a distance, seemed so weird that it couldn’t be put into words.

(so this guy in the poster should be Situ Zhang)

Xiao Nanzhu was in a daze, but the moment he raised his eyes and saw this guy, his heart skipped a beat. Realizing that this guy was really calling out for him and looks familiar too, Xiao Nanzhu walked down the steps with his luggage. Scanning the man from head to toe with a cigarette in his mouth, he laughed.

"Heh, let me ask you. It’s the Spring Festival and you’re dressed up like this, are you here to drive me home or to a funeral?”

This made the young man in sunglasses pause. He took off his sunglasses, squinted and spoke in a gloomy voice.

“What are you saying, baby! Aren’t these just my work clothes? I came to pick you up right after I got off work; have a conscience and be satisfied. Let me be your host today, let’s go for a drink and talk about how we've spent the past few years…”

So many years apart and the tone of this guy sounds as familiar as before. Xiao Nanzhu felt somewhat relieved; he smiled and hooked his arms around his buddy’s neck and gave him a firm, solid hug. Situ Zhang, dressed like a blind man, laughed and yelled as he was dragged forward and felt warm in his heart too. Half an hour later, they took a taxi to a local restaurant and settled down to talk about the past.

Meeting old friends is always about reminiscing about old events and relations. These two grew up together, and naturally, they talked in a very casual way.

Xiao Nanzhu was accustomed to being rough and blunt as a soldier in the past years serving in the military. He went ahead and ordered a few dishes and a bottle of wine, then leaned back on his chair and started smoking. Situ Zhang, who was nagging and asking him about everything, didn’t mind his casual behavior. He blew on his sunglasses then wiped them clean with a cloth and asked.

“Have you resolved your personal issues, marriage-wise?”

“There’re only males inside, how do I solve it?”

“Then how about work?”

“Unemployed, what else could I be?”

Replying with a lazy attitude, Xiao Nan squinted his eyes nonchalantly and flicked off the ashes on his fingertips. In fact, he was prepared to be long-term unemployed. After all, in society there’s huge competition for employment; even young undergraduates might not necessarily get a job, more so for an old military rascal like him. Situ Zhang chuckled and put the round sunglasses back on his nose. Xiao Nanzhu watched, and absentmindedly asked.

“Asking about me so much, what about you?”

The moment he asked, Situ Zhang’s smile faded slightly. Xiao Nanzhu and Situ Zhang looked at each other, lost for words, this damned sunglasses only smiles quietly. Xiao Nanzhu leaned closer and inspected him for a few minutes, then deliberately lowered his voice and asked in a serious tone.

“Hey, you’ve been wearing a sunglasses all day long. Could it be that you went for a double eyelid surgery..”

“...”

At that moment, Situ Zhang's face was so amusing that Xiao Nanzhu let out a silent laugh before he pursed his lips and acted sincere.

“Xiao Nanzhu, you bastard.”

Situ Zhang furrowed his eyebrows and cursed for a bit, speechless about Xiao Nanzhu's hobby of teasing him since childhood. He gulped down a mouthful of beer and began to speak, as if mumbling as Xiao Nanzhu smirked.

“I opened a blind massage parlor. I'll take you for a visit sometime later. It's not one of those Dabaojian⑥, so don't get the wrong idea. It's a serious Qigong⑦ massage treatment…”

In fact, even if Situ Zhang himself didn’t mention it, Xiao Nanzhu could guess what this fellow is doing now. After all, Situ Zhang's family’s ancestral skill is well-known. In all kinds of professions, Qigong masters are always called swindlers, and their reputation is almost the same as those selling counterfeit medicines, and many years ago when they were neighbors, Situ Zhang's parents were Qigong massage specialists.

Every time when Xiao Nanzhu went to find Situ Zhang to play, he would see many older folks queueing for Master Situ. Master Situ is the father of Situ Zhang. It is said that every treatment by him will lengthen one’s life by 15 minutes.

What sounds like bullshit obviously still managed to attract many believers, but it wasn’t a new business in that old alley at that point in time, so Xiao Nanzhu was indifferent about it. But he didn't expect that Situ Zhang, being young as he is, would choose to succeed such a job that should have been washed out by the times. After all, in his impression, Situ Zhang was smart and had no reason to not find a way to make a living. Seeing the curious look on his face, Situ Zhang just smiled and poured a full glass of Hapi⑧ in front of him.

“Why? Didn't expect that I would succeed my family business? My ancestral Qigong has been handed down to this generation since nearly 300 years, it can’t just end here. Besides, my blind massage parlor business is great. If it weren’t for picking you up today, I would have dozens of customers queuing up for me.”

“...”

“You've been away too long. There’s still a lot you don’t know of. Still remember Aunt Liu who Tiaodashen lived with us in the alleys? Her eldest and second daughters attend dance academies, one of them learnt modern dancing and the other learnt folk dancing. Now both of them obtain epiphany easier than the others. And Uncle Wang, the astrologer, remember? His grandson Wang Xiaodong is a famous astrologer on Weibo⑨, he earns a lot more money than me... Oh, of course, there's Li Xiangu who is a medium for ghosts, Zheng Shushu who can break rocks on his chest... "

“What the, aren’t these too trendy!"

Xiao Nanzhu almost spurted out the beer in his mouth, he didn't expect his old neighbors to have already found such bright futures. Looking at the incredulous face on him, Situ Zhang didn't expect this fellow to believe right away either, he just winked at him with a grin.

“Now people love to say fortune-telling, Qigong and Chinese medicine is unscientific, but what exactly is unscientific? Isn't that what science can't explain? We talk about science too, being not superstition is another topic, but this relates to the inheritance of folklore. The ancestral inheritance of cultural heritage shouldn’t be abandoned, right? Speaking of your old lady, she was once a famous Huangli Shi. Even if you didn't plan to succeed your family’s craft, it's still better than to be idle when you’re back, right?..”

Xiao Nanzhu paused upon hearing this, he thought of his grandmother who had gone for about 5 years, some emotions flickered in his eyes. However, what Situ Zhang suggested was not helpful, his grandmother did not intend to pass the skill of reading Huangli on to him when she was alive. Now that she is gone, he naturally can’t learn by himself, let alone regard it as his career.

By thinking so, Xiao Nanzhu didn’t take it into consideration.

The night's drink only ended at about ten o'clock, both of them came out of the small restaurant reeking of booze, their steps somewhat unstable. Xiao Nanzhu said let’s meet again to Situ Zhang and waved as he walked off. When he returned with his luggage to the rental house that he only came back to during his usual leaves, the old house which had been vacant for more than a year finally had its lights turned on this very night.

Old sofa, old wooden coffee table, old Huangli hanging on the wall.

All the things in this house were left by the old lady, Xiao Nanzhu had no time to clean them up after her death, and he’s reluctant to dispose of them. Now that he’s back, even though the whole house is filled with stale air, there were memories everywhere. Xiao Nanzhu woozily stepped into the room, felt about on the wall for a moment and turned on the lights, went to the kitchen to boil a kettle of water, then sat back in the living room.

From time to time, the sound of fireworks could be heard outside the windows. New year was coming, everything was bustling.

While waiting for the water to boil, Xiao Nanzhu leaned back on the old sofa, dazed. Noises of his upstairs neighbor moving tables and chairs could be heard faintly. The old clock hanging on the wall told him that the day would pass in half an hour. Xiao Nanzhu moved his eyes away and looked at the old Huangli beside it. Suddenly, he frowned in confusion.

A house that nobody lived in for a year, by any means, it shouldn’t have changed at all.

For an unknown reason, when Xiao Nanzhu fixed his gaze on the old Huangli hanging on the living room’s wall, he discovered that the date had been flipped to today's.

“February 11, 2027, Wednesday...”

Xiao Nanzhu’s brain couldn't work for a while. He recalled the last time he left home, and felt a strong oddness that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. The doubt lingering in his heart prompted him to get up and walk towards the wall.

As he carefully examined the old Huangli, Xiao Nanzhu found out that besides the words on the do-s and don’t-s, fortune of the day, Chinese zodiacs, there was also a child hugging a red carp, wearing a gorgeous scarlet jacket, with a nevus marked at the center of his eyebrows painted right in the middle of the Huangli.

(source: net, this is how a Huangli would look like, just a prettier version I happened to find)

“Sanhe⑩ tiger and dog, Jiuxing Siyuan(11), an auspicious day for everything ... also known as Xiao...Nian?”

He mumbled the sentence of classical Chinese written at the bottom of the Huangli. Xiao Nanzhu, full of doubts, suddenly felt that something unusual was about to happen.

This unexpected premonition made him frown unconsciously. In split seconds, he witnessed the child with red carp who was motionless on the Huangli suddenly open his eyes. He shook a full face of fishy-smelling water stains on Xiao Nanzhu, then he stared and shouted at him angrily.

“Baby’me only left with half an hour to finish work this year! Who was that mortal who had a pit in his head(12) and looked for me? Do y'all want the whole of next year to be rough ah? Ah! Ah!!! "

Xiao Nanzhu: “...”

Did the H-Huang, Huangli just spoked?

Ah? Ah? Ah???

Xiaonian 小年：Lunar New Year’s Eve, it’s the second day before Chinese New Year, but some areas celebrate together Chuxi(Chinese New Year's Eve, the day before Chinese New Year)

Mogu 摸骨：literally translates as ‘feeling the bones’, often seen in wuxia novels where some old masters would Mogu to tell if a person is physically gifted or not

Tiaodashen 跳大神：literally translates as ‘jumping/dancing gods’, which involves 2 people, one is the medium who invites the ‘god’(sometimes ghosts) onto him, and the other is the assistant. This ritual allows the living to talk to the dead or communicate with gods, but this is rarely seen nowadays and kept as ethnic art by minority groups

Shangliang 上梁：to place the most important beam in the roof during construction and also involve superstitions in keeping the house’s peace and safety

Yuxi 玉溪：a brand name for cigarettes

Dabaojian 大保健：refers to the prostitution under the cover of massage, spa, and other services. In order to avoid being too direct in daily communication, it is often expressed in this obscure way.

Qigong 气功：Or simply qi. It is a traditional Chinese method of health care, health preservation, and disease elimination. Kungfu involves Qigong as well.

Hapi 哈啤：Ha Beer, a beer brand name

Weibo 微博：China’s equivalent of Twitter, a type of social media platform

Sanhe 三合：Classic Chinese terminology, it basically means the compatibility between Chinese zodiacs, it’s a complicated study.

Jiuxing Siyuan 九星四缘：Not really sure, the search results are not providing much, but it has something to do with the study of Fengshui(风水） and ancient study of stars that are often seen in some other Xianxia novels.

To have pit in someone’s head 脑子有坑：An internet slang refers to people who have something wrong with their heads.