#i like the shot too much to throw it out and i dont think i can fix this well in photoshop

[applesaucesims]

Emma painted and decorated the new nursery to look like a magical forest. She had always loved painting landscapes, so the theme was an obvious choice for her. Plus, with her experience painting the backgrounds for films, especially those inspired by fairy tales, she knew what she was doing.

When she was just a little girl, Emma had already painted her own walls in a way, so it felt extra special to be able to do it properly for her own children. As planned, where the cots went, Emma painted a big forest mural. On the opposite wall, she hung a huge painting of a lake at the forest side, with curtains to give the appearance of a window.

For a little personal touch to the room, Emma pulled up a stool and drew two flower stems above the door, ready for some handprint petals. Carefully, she stamped a bit of paint on each of her daughters' hands and lifted them up, guiding their little hands to press them down right above the empty stems.

Even Niall had opened up to fatherhood much more this time than the last. Perhaps it was the fact that he had some practice now, maybe it was the additional support he received from Emma, but it did not matter. Most importantly, both parents enjoyed having their big house filled by their three children. It truly felt like it was all coming together.

[nandermoenthusiast]

oh my god i got so emotional SHUT UUUUUP

[woolydemon]

ok I just categorized all the wooly eras

[luna0713hunter]

Lover,Please stay

CEO!Sukuna is a big shot,every women and men's dream. Sometimes you wonder why he settled for someone like you.

The wine tastes bitter on your tongue as you take your first sip; wincing slightly. You've never been a fan of drinking,but when your rich boyfriend invites you out for some, who're you to say no? So you suck it up,and try to swing the drink around your glass instead of actually drinking it.

And it doesn't help that the liquor is bringing out all your doubts you've been having recently.

Instead,you try to focus on the man beside you; Sukuna is busy downing his third whiskey cause he's an absolute freak when it comes to drinking. His pink hair is out of its usually neat shape, probably because of the rough day he had at work; and you watch with careful eyes as he reaches his nibble fingers toward his tie and loses it while he throws back the last of his drink.

"you're staring."

You hum absentmindedly; hating how lightweight you are unlike your boyfriend. You've barely had a few sips for god's sake.

"and what if i am?"

But now, you're staring at the reddish liquid in your glass; your thoughts running wild in your mind. Because even if you want to; even if you desperately wish to, you cant ignore the whispers and giggles you hear from the tables near you. You cant pretend to not see the lustful gazes of the women all around you as soon as your boyfriend had stepped inside the bar.

And you surely cant not hear them giggling among themselves with nothing but vemon in their tone.

"oh my gosh,look at that hottie!!"

"hold on- is that...his partner?!"

"that cant be- i mean- look at HIM!"

"i know right?maybe he's just doing it out of pity or something?"

And you dont know if its the alcohol, or you own mind, but suddenly the bar feels too suffocating.

Too crowded. Too loud.

And its not really your fault; you've been having a shitty week, and you just wished to spend some quality time with you boyfriend. You didn't want to spend your Saturday night in a shitty bar,with some rich ass girls talking shit about you and your relationship.

And its the last straw when you hear their next words.

"oh screw it; I'm gonna hit on him! I'm sure he'd bored out his mind and need a break from his lame ass partner!"

"obviously they're not doing well; they haven't talked much since they walked in!"

So without a word,you suddenly stand up from your sit; slamming you glass hard on the wooden surface of the bar. Sukuna immediately looks your way, lips parting to say something, but you dont wait to hear what it is.

You just grab your purse and rush out of the door, almost stumbling to tables on your way out.

You think they might be laughing at you, but honestly you dont care. You just need some fresh air to cool your head.

And to stop the tears from falling on your burning cheeks.

You turn sharply in the alley just next to the bar; pressing your back to the cold wall behind as you slide down on the ground below. You hug your knees close to your chest as the first sob breaks through your lips.

God,you hate crying; specially because of what others say.

And you know; you know Sukuna's way out of your league. You know a hotshot like him can have anyone he wants,yet he settles for someone like you. You know all this, but that doesn't make it easier to hear it from others.

When you hear heavy footsteps inside the alley,you immensely start to brush your cheeks and eyes harshly; but your hands are immediately stopped midway by a pair of rough ones grabbing onto your wrists.

When you look up through teary eyes,Sukuna sighs at the sight of your red rimmed eyes and blushed cheeks.

"you're such a lightweight. How much did you even drink?"

"it's not because of the drink," you mumble, pulling at your hands to which Sukuna doesn't let you, "i didnt even finish my wine."

"then why are you crying,huh?" He sighs again, raising rough fingers to brush your tears away with such care that has you tearing up again. Sukuna 'tsks' and wipes your cheeks once more, ”tell me what's wrong."

You bury your face in your knees to avoid looking at him.

"you must've heard what those women said,Ryo. Dont play dumb."

"so what?"

You snap you head up.

"so what?! doesn't that bother you??"

Sukuna scoffs, shifting slightly. His dark eyes shine even in the barely lit alleyway,and you swallow upon seeing the look on his face.

He looks utterly pissed.

"why the fuck would it bother me what a bunch of good for nothing losers say?" He hold your chin and lowers his face until you can feel the his hot breath on your lips, "nothing in this world matters. Nothing. Except you,me,and us."

When your eyes water again,Sukuna sighs presses his forehead against yours.

"the world's gonna talk shit anyways; whether we like it or not. And i dont give a shit what other's think, because nothing will change the fact that i love you."

When you look up at him with wide, bleary eyes,Sukuna scoffs and pinches your cheek rather roughly.

"dont give me that look; I've said it before."

"Well!" You grumbled through pinched cheek, "you dont say it enough!"

An evil smirk makes way on his pink lips,and your face heats up when his fingers dance across your hips.

"then," you shiver as he pushes at the hem of your dress; taking hold on your upper thigh with a dangerous glint in his eyes, "guess I'll have to show it to you, don't you think doll?"

Your eyes flutter close when he finally presses his lips to yours; and right there and then,you know Sukuna never lies about loving you. After all, he's been always a man to show his love through his actions rather than words.

[evie-sturns]

drunk - Chris Sturniolo

summary: you show up to you, and your boyfriend chris's home drunk after a girls night out. chris has to take care of you in your interesting... state.

contains: fluff, mentions of alcohol, vague mentions of throwing up, crying, swearing.

a/n: i wanted to do a little mature chris fic because i dont see enough of that, i hope you guys like this!!

--------------└─── °∘❉∘° ───┘---------------

tonight started as just me and 6 other friends at a club, before i left the house chris made it very clear i need to be home before midnight.

right now its 1:30 of the next morning, my friend grace is glued to my side as i cackle, watching her twerk on the dancefloor. i drag her to the bar, throwing back several more shots.

i'm not sure what time it is, or where the other 4 of my friends are but all i know is i should probably be getting home..

"graceee" i laugh, pulling out my phone and attempting to call an uber, all the text is jumbled. a girl walks by me, i grab her arm lightly and hand her my phone, "call me an uber please babe" i say to the girl, she smiles before handing my phone back shortly after,

"its coming in 10 minutes!!" she calls out over her shoulder as she walks away.

i drag grace out of the club as we laugh about nothing, the uber pulls up and we pile inside.

-

i stumble up the front porch of chris and i's house, swinging open the front door as it hits the wall with a bang, i let out a small laugh as my heels click against the wooden planks.

"chrissy!!" i yell out a stupid nickname, chris walks out from the bathroom, hes shirtless only wearing sweatpants, which sit dangerously low.

"where the fuck have you been!" chris says, his voice serious as he grips my wrist firmly.

"uh.. club? obviously," i say with an attitude.

"drop your tone, come with me." he says, pulling me down the corridor into his room.

"sit" chris says, dragging me over to the bed and gently placing me down on the end of his bed. he gets down on his knees and starts to undo the straps of my heels, pulling them off my feet. "ow christopher!! 'fuckin hurts." i whine, folding my arms

"do you know what time it is?" chris asks, "like 10pm? can you read a clock?" i reply with an eye roll, my tone slurred.

he stands up off his knees as he looks down at me on the bed, i look to the side, chris grabs my chin,

"look at me." he says, making me look up at him with the hand on my chin. he stares into my eyes,

i erupt into tears, "your mad at me and im really really sorry but i-.. i" i say as mascara starts to flow down my flushed cheeks.

chris shakes his head, closing his eyes "i'm not mad at you sweetheart." he says, picking me up off the bed and placing me on my feet,

"you wanna know what i think?" chris asks softly, i nod my head.

"i think you've had a bit too much to drink tonight, you think so too?" he says, putting my arms in the air and lifting my mini-dress up over my head,

he walks me over to his closet, pulling out a pair of my small pyjama shorts and one of his shirts, which pulls onto me.

"you look pale baby, do you feel sick?" chris says, speed-walking me into his bathroom to get off his carpet.

"yeah." i sniffle, he sits down next to the toilet on the cold marble tiles, he pulls me onto his lap where i stay on my knees.

all of the achohol i've had tonight exits my mouth into the toilet bowl, "there we are." chris says, stroking my hair as he holds it behind my head.

"good girl, your okay." he sighs, "at least all the shots are out now" he says, standing up and walking me over to the sink, leaning me over the sink and filling up his hands with water as a cup.

he pours it into my mouth with a small laugh, i swish it around before spitting it back into the sink.

"feeling a little better?" he asks, picking me up by my ass and taking me towards his bed.

"im sorry." i say, letting my head fall forward into his bare shoulder, "don't apologise, you throwing up all the drinks you've had is much better than keeping it in okay?"

i nod, he lays me down in bed before pulling the covers up over me. leaning over me as my eyelids grow heavy.

"chris.." i say quietly, my speech still slightly slurred, "yeah?" he replies "i'm sorry for being mean" i say, chris laughs,

"dont worry about it precious." he smiles, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips,

"chris!!! i've just been sick!" i say, pulling away.

[soupangel]

Intoxicated - Gojo Satoru

tags: fluff, established relationship, drunk!satoru, mentions of alcohol

wc: 534

Synopsis: What do you get when you give the strongest jujutsu sorcerer alcohol? a drunk needy boyfriend.

a/n: I hope you enjoy!!

Navigation

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In all the years you’ve known Satoru Gojo, he’s never gotten drunk in front of you. So when celebrating his birthday with your friends, you noticed him stumbling his way across the room. It was clear that he was drunk.

While you try to go back to your conversation with Shoko, the sudden loud plop of Gojo sitting down next to you immediately shifts your focus. You look over to see Gojo hunched over with his head resting on the table, looking up at you with a dopey grin on his face.

“You know you’re the most beautiful person in the world,” he slurs.

While laughing, you run your hand down his back.

“Oh, am I? well I think you’re the most drunk man in the world. How much did you have to drink?”

“Hmm I dont know either four or ten.” He hums, closing his eyes to enjoy feeling your hand on his back.

His response makes your jaw drop. “Ten!?”

He shot up to look at you with wide eyes.

“Are you mad at me?” He said with tears pooling in his eyes.

You turn to Shoko with widened eyes. This was out of character for Satoru. She looks back at you with raised eyebrows as she takes a sip of her drink, turning away from you, leaving you to deal with the drunken mess that is your boyfriend alone.

You grab your hands and look at him worriedly. “No, of course not. Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I had too much to drink and now you hate me and never wat to see me again,” he rambled on, sniffing in between a few words.

If it was possible for you to unhinge your jaw to emote how absolutely shocked you were, you would do it. But it’s not so you just stick with trying to calm your now very emotional boyfriend.

You take your hands from his to smooth down his hair, hoping to calm him at least a little.

“Satoru, that is not true,” you said. “I love you, and it’s your birthday. I think you're allowed to have some fun.”

“Really? you still love me?”

“Yes Satoru, I still love you,”

“Really really?”

“Really really,” you laugh

“Really, really, really?”

“Ok, I’m not doing this with you all night. How about we go back home and rest?” you breathed.

He pondered your suggestion for a few seconds before smiling.

“We can cuddle, right?” he said excitedly

“Yes, we can absolutely cuddle. anything you want, it’s your birthday after all.”

It takes some effort to help him stand up from his seat. He leans on you almost immediately and walks towards the exit. You throw Shoko a quick wave goodbye so you could keep up with Satorus’ fast steps.

He fell asleep on the cab ride home, so getting him inside took longer since he was still half asleep and stumbling.

You saved yourself the trouble of changing him and just lay him on the bed. You followed shortly after him. Like magnets, you two gravitated toward each other and fell asleep with Satoru cuddled in your arms.

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Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! I'd love to know what you thoughts!

[grimespial]

"I still think you're beautiful."

i kiss the scars on his skin

Carl didn't want you to see him. If Daryl hadn't forced you to get rest after spending all night slaughtering any walkers you found then trying to stay up all night in case he woke up. It was one of the first things his dad told him, you were driving yourself insane waiting to see him.

But what would you think? His face was probably mangled, atleast that's what it felt like, being shot in the eye couldn't be pretty. He'd felt insecure before sure, but this was worse, he felt... broken. Carl knew there was no hiding forever, you would see his face eventually, you would see it and be disgusted and-

"Carl? You okay?" It was his dad, at some point Rick had walked in the room, and he never realised, too busy dreading what kind of face you would make.

"He's waiting you know? He knows you're awake, Daryl has to hold him back." Rick had good intentions, trying to clear the air, lighten the mood with the mention of his boyfriend, but it did the opposite. Carl choked out a sob, tears beginning to pool as he turned his head down, hair covering up the thing that caused all his self hatred.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong? Do you need Denise?"

Carl couldn't manage out a response, so he just shook his head. How do you tell your own dad you never want to see your boyfriend just so you don't have to witness how digusted he gets to your mangled face?

"Come on Carl, I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong. You can tell me anything, you know this."

"I don't want to see him." It's a wonder Rick could even hear Carl the way his hands muffled his voice, but he caught on why immediately.

"You worried? He won't judge you, i think he'd fight anyone who tried to even look at you the wrong way." His dad layed a hand on his head, slightly ruffling his hair before a shout broke the short silence.

"Let go of me! Why can't I go see him if he's okay‽ I don't care if I need to hurt you to get there!" Of course it was you, any time he was injured you would make sure to check on him. Like always, your voice gave him butterflies but right now he felt sick, and the self-hatred burned again.

i still think you're beautiful

It wasn't long after that you burst through the doors, panting and slightly roughed up. Clearly you put up a big fight to get to Carl, all while he's thinking of ways to never show his face again.

"Carl! You're okay!" Though it sounded more like a question, trying to reassure yourself more than him or make a statement. Even with the sound of relief in your tone he couldn't bare to look up at you.

"I'll give you two some time alone, shout if you need anything."

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here earlier, I tried but they wouldn't let me, I hope you didn't think I was ignoring you.. I'm rambling now. Are.. are you okay Carl?"

Just the sound of how worried you were, how much you care for him broke him. He wanted to treasure this, it wouldn't last much longer and it stung. The last time he felt like this was when his mom was in labour. He couldn't even wipe his tears incase you saw his face.

And then you held him by his chin, lifting his head to meet your view before brushing the hair from over the wound.

"Don't look at me." No amount of hardening his voice could cover the choke and sadness, his face softening in your palms, his whole body was making him more pathetic when he was trying to hide it. It was useless though, he could never hide from you, every single one of his tics you knew. You cared so much it hurt.

"I still think you're beautiful." With one hand you rubbed your thumb across his cheek, making sure not to irritate the wound, and the other you wiped his tears.

"I'm not, don't lie, you're probably disgusted with me."

"I don't think anything about you could digust me, I'll let you know that every single hour if you need it. You're stuck with me now, even if you go down, I'll follow you."

and i dont ever wanna lose my best friend

Carl didn't hesitate to throw himself into your arms, almost tipping you over. You couldn't hold back a laugh at his reaction before leaving a chaste kiss on his lips with a small smile. It was only then that he realised he was exhausted like Denise told Rick he would be, the stress about your reaction apparently distracted him from it.

As he yawned, Carl pulled you back onto the bed, it was a tight squeeze but he didn't want to let you go, afraid that it would all be a dream and you'd be gone. That's how he fell asleep, practically on your lap squeezing you, before dragging you into a deep sleep with him, the comfort to strong to resist as your eyes shut.

That's how Rick found you, nobody had called him so everything should be fine, but it had been a while and as far as he could hear it was silent. Carl would have to forgive him later for coming in if they were still talking, but he needed to be sure everyone was okay. What he didnt expect was for Carl to be lying mostly on top of you, arms wrapped around eachother, the only sound being soft breathing and he smiled. Of course everything was okay.

[lunajay33]

Struggle🖤

Summary: You always loved azriel but never had the courage to say anything wanting to get to know his culture cassian took you to the Illyrian camps but when you get taken you fall into a dark place only one person might be able to pull you out of

Pairing: Azriel x f!reader

Warning: Violence

•Masterlist•

“Sweetie you need to tell him you’ve been head over heels in love with him since…..since we’ll forever” mor said as we were sat around the dinning room in the house of wind

“Mor you know I can’t he means everything to me I can’t risk that”

“But he’s your” before she could finish the three boys walked in cutting off our conversation thankfully

“Welcome home boys me and dear y/n here were just discussing how in love she is with…”

“MOR DONT” I yelled out before she could practically ruin my life, I looked back over at the guys seeing a smirk plastered on Rhys and cassians face as Azriel looked anywhere but me

Standing up I brush out my clothes out of nervous habit and turn to cassian

“Umm can I talk to you in private for a moment”

“Well of course darling lead the way” he smirks as he holds his arm out for me, he’s like my brother, my duffis brother, I bring him to my room and I throw myself on the bed and sigh making him laugh as he does the same almost breaking my bed

“So what is it you need sunshine”

“This is a huge favor but seeing as I’d have my big strong protector with me, could you show me the Illyrian camps, I wanna know more about where Az came from”

“Oh I don’t know that’s not a place for a lady, Rhys would kill me”

“But I’ll be by your side the whole time and we don’t have to stay long I just wanna know more about him”

“Here’s a thought how about you just ask him” he pokes

“Cas come on this is hard for me, it’s obviously not snapped for him yet and we’ll maybe if I know more things it’ll somehow snap into place for him, I don’t know it’s silly but it’s worth a shot”

“Ugh fine but only because nesta would kill me if I didn’t try and help you out, she’s got a sweet spot for you”

“Oh thank you so much Cas, I owe you”

The next morning I got ready in some warmer clothes knowing it could get could in the camps and since cas will be flying I’ll need that extra warmth, making my way downstairs I’m stopped by shadows swirling around my hands and through my hair like the occasionally did

“They only do this with you, must be something special about you” I hear from the corner of the dim hallway as Azriel emerges from the darkness, my heart leaping in my chest

“I quit like them, they’re beautiful”

“You think they’re beautiful?”

“Of course they always find me when I’m down and the comfort me, plus they’re from you so they’re pretty terrific” I don’t know where this boldness came from but atleast it made him smile which was a rare sight

“Well Cas is waiting for me but I’ll see you later, bye Az” I said quickly before making my way to cas

“Ready princess”

“Always!”

It was a long flight there and by the time Cas landed he was pretty tired having to carry my extra weight

“Sorry to have to put you through this I know how much you work”

“Don’t worry about it darling, hopefully this’ll work out like you want it too then it’ll be worth it not having to hear you both complain anymore”

“Wait what do you mean both?”

“Come on sunshine time to show you around” he laughs with a mischevious grin

We walked through the camp for a while he showed me where him Rhys and Az would meet up and where they lived, this didn’t go unnoticed by many males of the camp not taking their eyes off of me

“Come to investigate our camps again traitor?” A large Illyrian man groan as he stood with some other males in our path

“Nothing of your concern now move” cassian growled holding me behind him

“And I see you’ve brought us a sweet treat” before I knew it a fight broke out and even though Cassian was strong and great at fighting it was unfair against 5 men, then arms wrapped around me and started to drag me away

“CASSIAN……LET ME GO!” I scream terrified of what was to come

Dragged into a dark room being tied to a metal hot pipe, my arms over extended behind my back as the heat from the pipe burned my skin

“Oh we’re gonna send that high lord a message”

Azriels POV

After my interaction with y/n this morning I’ve been confused, did she have feelings for me too? She was pretty flirty for someone so timid around me usually

I was broken from my thoughts when cassian busted through the door out of breath, bloody and exhausted

“Cas what the hell happened? Where’s y/n?”

“I knew it was a bad idea……she was taken by Illyrian men they jumped me and I couldn’t find her” Rhys quickly entered the room taking my arm and winnow us to the camps

I sent my shadows out hoping to pinpoint exactly where she is, after a moment they frantically swirled back to me, she was in a run down house near by, Rhys followed me no questions asked

Busting down the door I see a group of men alert ready to fight, Rhys and I so full of anger finished them of quickly and painfully until all that was left in the room to hear was her quiet whimpers

Finding her in a dark corner her forearms burned and blistering red, her clothes ripped from her body showing the red angry cuts and whips littering her body, her nose dripping with blood and her one eye black and swollen shut, my heart clenched at the sight knowing I could’ve protected her, if I sent one of my shadows with them none of this would’ve happened and that’s when I felt it, the pull in my chest the one I never thought I’d experience

She’s my mate

Normal pov

I woke up aching all over hearing voices all around me, opening eyes as best I could realizing I could only see out of one, I slowly reached up feeling the swell and pain that coursed through the area

“Thank god you’re awake” I hear next to me as the bed dips and those hands I could never mistake, the hands of the man I love but then memories of the hands that touched me, that hurt me flashed in my mind and I pulled away out of instinct wanting to just curl up and hide away from the world

“Oh darling I’m so sorry, I knew taking you there was a bad decision” cassian said from behind Azriel, I could see the regret written all over his face

“How do you feel?” Mor asked sweeping my hair aside but oddly her touch didn’t make me want to run away

“Hurts” I groaned out my throat hoarse and dry

“You’ve been out for a few days, Majda says your wounds are healing fast so that’s good news” Azriel said seeming nervous but certain wounds I felt would never heal, my heart ached

“Can I just go to my room, I need to be alone”

“Are you sure Angel” if any other time I heard Az call me Angel I’d be jumping with joy but right now I couldn’t feel that, I just nodded as nor helped me sit up and led me to my room, walking slowly feeling ever cut and pain that was inflicted, slowly laying back down in my own bed, it gave some form of comfort knowing I was home

“Do you need anything?” Az asked as I felt his shadows swirl around me basically engulfing me

I shook my head and they left but before Azriel closed the door he left one shadow with me telling me to call for him when I need anything

Then I was alone letting sleep take me over once again

Azriels POV

Seeing her so broken made me feel like I’ve failed her, the inner circle all sat around the table silently all worried about my dear mate

“What the hell were you even doing there?” I groaned asking Cassian

“She wanted to know more about your past, she thought it would help snap the mating bond for you” my heart stopped

“She did this for me, she knew we are mates?”

“She’s known for a while, hell I’m pretty sure she knew immediately from the moment she met you centuries ago, she didn’t wanna pressure you” Mor stated

“Why didn’t any of you tell me, how didn’t I know” the stress now gnawing at my soul

“It was pretty obvious Az, she’d blush anytime you’d walk in the room, or how happy she’d get when you’d come home from a long mission, she loves you so much man” Rhys added

It’s been a week now and she hasn’t left her room I kept checking on her but she never wanted anything, she’s become pale and frail, never showing emotion, sometimes I’d feel a wave of terror down through the bond and I’d always send her back a wave of calm hoping it would ease her

But I couldn’t take it anymore knowing she’s in pain, everyone has tried helping to get through to her in anyway we knew how, I just have to do something

I knocked on the door knowing she wouldn’t respond but still I wanted to give her that respect, slowly I opened the door seeing her in her usual spot sat at the window my shadow swirling around her hands, seemingly mezmorizing her, distracting her from what plagues her mind

“Hey darling, can I sit with you?” I ask approaching her, shivering from the cool breeze from the open window, she nodded and I sat across from her on the window seat, after I took a blanket and draped it over her lap

“Do you want to talk about it, maybe it’ll help ease what you’re feeling” she was silent for a long time just looking at the shadow till I noticed the tremble of her lip

“It hurts Az” she whispered as she curled into herself

“I’m so sorry Angel” I said placing my hand on her leg gently hoping it could ground her in this vulnerable moment

“What they did to me, humiliated me, stripped me naked and beat me black and blue, I can’t even look at my self anymore” she cried finally opening up

“I just wanna be me again, I wanna be happy”

“I’m hear every step of the way but it’s gonna take time Angel, you know we are all here for you, I’m always gonna be here and I’ll never let anyone hurt you ever again” she sighed as she leaned forward and laid on her side her head resting in my lap

“Can we just stay here for a moment”

“Anything for you, my beautiful mate”

[betterthanyalls]

hey betty wetty bo confetti

How’s about Ares x Reader in which she’s the daughter of Odysseus and and and she’s defending Telemachus & Penelope from the suitors and after getting into a fight with Antinous or however u spell his name, she meets Ares somehow?

BTW DONT FEEL PRESSURED OR FEEL THERES A TIME LIMIT - TAKE YOUR TIME 🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵🫵

Okay love ya 🤩🤗

that nickname concerns me BUT HIIIII so ion know how good this is :sobs: , i made it in the span of like 2-3 hours from a burst of motivation. HERE YOU GO TAKE THIS AS A LATE BIRTHDAY PRESENT

Masterlist

Warrior's Blood

Ares x Reader

EPIC: The Musical ~ Oneshot ~ Action

Words: 1.4K

Published: 11-3-2024 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A loud belch sounded from the palace’s dining hall, followed by boisterous laughter and unorganized yells. The princess of Ithaca glared down the hallway while she stalked past the dining hall to her destination of the training grounds. “Men,” a loud voice called, the speaker standing up on a wooden bench, “we have been waiting for the throne for far too long. Can’t you see we are being played?”

Y/n slowed her pace, taking a peek into the crowded room to see the one suitor she hates the most speaking. Antinous. 

“I say, we take the throne. That boyish prince and his sister only stand in our way to the queen. Once we are rid of them, we shall have full access to the crown." Cheers and yells followed quickly. The onlooking royalty sneered in disgust. Normally, Y/n would only walk away and tell her mother about the new plan, but something inside her felt different—an urge to fight, a need for conflict. 

Taking a step into the light of the hall, Y/n cleared her throat.

“What would my mother think of this? Threatening to kill both of her children and then seizing her by force?" Y/n had to keep from gagging, not only at the idea of their threat but also the horrid stench of the room. 

Antinous turned to the princess with a look of pure murder and flame.

“Well, if it isn’t the weak girl. If you speak even a word of our plan, I will rip you limb from limb so you can meet your father in the underworld,” he stalked towards the younger girl with a vicious grin. “Now that I’ve thought about it, how about we begin that plan now? Starting with you.”

Y/n was wise enough to duck down, blocking an oncoming punch, only to be nailed in the gut with his knee. Falling to the ground with a sharp gasp, she was pulled to her feet by her hair. “Come on, girlie. You had the strength before to challenge me; where is it now? You’re as weak as your father.”

Staggering and getting out of his grasp, she pulled up a loose fighting position. The princess narrowed her eyes at Antinous’ insults while taking steps back to match his steps forward. Y/n tried to find some sort of strategy to take him down, like how Telemachus taught her. Her brother would always say to fight with wisdom, but there was no wisdom anywhere near this fight. Strategy only works if your opponent has strategy too. Antinous was anything but a planned fighter. 

So with her next best option, Y/n grabbed a nearby vase and chucked it at her rival's head. She missed, making Antinous even more angry. With a yell, a foot made contact with her stomach, throwing the princess to the floor and her head hitting a pillar. Pain shot through her entire body as she struggled to regain her breath. 

‘So, I did this easily. Thanks for the amazing lessons, Tele.’ Her mind wandered, forgetting about her approaching opponent as she took a glance at a nearby wall. There, up high, hung a tapestry by her mother. The twelve Olmpyians were displayed with divine glory. Glory that could help Y/n not die, if only they saw her. With nothing left to lose, the princess sent up a silent prayer before deciding to help herself.

With much pain and huffs, Y/n managed to stand on her feet once more with a sway.

Antinous offered a loud laugh, ricocheting off the stone walls.

“You just can’t stay down, can you? Do you not want to see Odysseus in Hades?”

“Don’t you dare speak my father's name,” she hissed through gritted teeth. She leaned onto the pillar with one hand while her other held her hurt stomach. Something other than pain burned inside her—a yearning to see him hurt, to see Antinous suffer. 

A new energy boosted her body; her muscles didn’t feel as sore, and the pain was dissipating. Deciding not to question this, Y/n dodged another punch aimed for her jaw. With fast footing, she grabbed a spear off the wall beside her and countered another punch.

Antinous grabbed the spear to rip it from Y/n’s grasp. Quickly, Y/n pulled the spear closer to her and kicked Antinous in the ribs. Instead of knocking him down, he only stumbled back. 

‘Left’ A voice spoke in her mind. Y/n was about to question the order until she noticed Antinous barreling towards her and instantly followed the demanded direction. 

Dodging a swipe of his sword, the princess swung her spear down at the man's knees, causing him to trip. Looking down to where he fell, a sudden push of rage flowed through her veins.

‘Blood’

She didn’t need to hear the voice again to know exactly what to do. With momentum, Y/n brought the weapons head down into Anitnous’ thigh, earning a scream from the male. She ripped the weapon from his flesh only to bring it down once more with another bloody cry. Her thoughts seemed barren except for a new order from the unknown voice. 

‘Stop’

That order only seemed to boost her adrenaline. Stop? She couldn’t. Not with all this pent-up anger and frustration she felt for Antinous. Y/n needed to make him learn where he stood as a guest in her kingdom. But as she raised her spear once more, the voice barked a command louder and all her pain and exhaustion rushed in.

‘STOP’

In an instant, her spear clattered to the floor as Y/n held her head with a groan. Antinous was being tended to by his fellow suitors, who had opted to stay on the sidelines. With labored breaths, Y/n managed to stumble away from the dining hall and towards the empty training grounds. 

Exhausted, she slumped to the sandy floor and leaned her back against a rack of swords. Her eyes shut against the glaring sun as the royal attempted to regain her breath. To her pleasure, the heat was blocked by a sudden shadow. The young adult cracked open her eyes to see a darkened figure wearing the full armor of a Spartan soldier. A mixture of emotions flooded into her soul as she recognized the nation's armor. Was this news of her father from serving beside the Spartans? But her hope was snuffed out as the familiar voice spoke.

“Stand up.”

She wanted to argue, but something in her felt compelled to follow the instructions. So, shakily, Y/n stood up in front of the warrior. From a new angle, she could see the stranger's identity. All breath escaped her lungs as she recognized the being from similar statues and paintings.

“Ares.”

The god, who towered over her with his divine form, smirked at the recognition.

“Indeed. I’ve seen your skill, princess of Ithaca. You fight well,” the god of war stalked around the girl in a circle, seeing her state after the fight. 

Finally, the two pieces connected in her mind as she turned to face him.

“It was you. The voice. The orders. That was all you.”

“You follow orders well, except for when you’re told to stop. I like that sort of fight.” Ares stood tall, power and bloodlust radiating off him as his armor seemed to brighten a bloody red in the sun’s light.

“Why’d you stop me anyway? You are the god of bloodlust, are you not? I could’ve killed him and solved the whole problem!” Y/n argued, upset at the missed opportunity.

“Have you forgotten the laws of hospitality? You would have been punished harshly by the gods had I let you continue. Not even I can defy those.” He glared down at her with warning. In response, she looked away with a defeated huff.

“Why’d you even help me then?” She grumbled, looking at the nearby swords; a few training weapons had begun to rust from limited use. 

"You have the ambition needed for the battlefield. Why would I let such skill go to waste with no proper mentor?” This caused Y/n to look at him instantly in shock, meeting the gaze of a grinning god beneath his helmet.

“Mentor?” 

“Y/n of Ithaca. You fight to protect. You fight to the last stand. That is a warrior’s blood. Like your father before you, you have the makings of a legend.” Ares held out his hand like he was shaking for a deal. “Become my champion, and I will help you become stronger than any opponent you shall face.” 

Y/n thought it over for less than a few seconds before grabbing the gods hand in her own and shaking them up and down. 

“Deal.”

[orphicrose]

I got bit by a spider a while ago and it made me come up with this request idea, imgiane Alastor x reader were they were already together and one day they come to him with a spider bite and then he aboustly looses it on Angel even tho the reader persists it wasn't him it was an actual spider and AL is like "doesn't matter! I'm not letting any spider harm you!" And Angel is like "HEY! IM A SPIDER DEMON NOT A SPIDER! AND I DONT BITE...unless ya want me too, and what are ya a spider racist?" And its a stupid argument but Alastor is still mad at Angel for a spider bite he didn't cause and Charlie and Vaggue have to break it up. 🤣

Tiny spider

This was really fun to write. Thank you so much for the suggestion

_______________𖤐

Alastor was always your night in shining armour when it came to bugs. Hearing your squeals of terror from the room next door to him, he could always safely assume it was because of some sort of mutated beetle or spider. And he was right 90% of the time. He’d swiftly eliminate the threat, sometimes letting it outside. Sometimes calling over niffty to have her fun with it. This time, though, he was too late. It got you. Seeping into your skin with its sharp fangs before you had the chance to notice it was on you.

Flinging your hand about in sheer panic, you let out a cry for help. Alastor assuming someone had murdered you, materialising into the room next to you hearing his hands. Ready to smite someone with his black magic at any given moment.

You turned, showing him the tiny red mark at the end of your finger. He calmed down, posture adjusting itself. He took your hand in his, moving his monocle closer to his eye to get a better look at the microscopic mark the even tinier perpetrator had left on you.

“What happened my love? A paper cut?” He mindlessly questioned to the sobbing face in front of his.

“It got me…” you almost wept from the panic.

“What got you, my darling” his arms slithered around your waist to pull you into an embrace.

“A spider”

His pupils dilated at the sentence, his beloved was hurt and his instincts tell him to seek justice. Arms pushed you away and within the blink of an eye, was on a search for said spider. There is was, all of its arms waving about in front of him, golden teeth bared ready to attack its next victim.

“Yeah so, now I have to work all day to make up for it tomorrow” angels arms waved around, exaggerating his story to the cat behind the bar in front of him.

“Uh huh.” He responded nonchalantly , cleaning a glass in his hand with a mouldy cloth. His face slowly lifted to see the spiders face, but his eyes widened when he saw the enraged Alastor behind him. Thinking it was for him, but almost relieved when Alastor reached for Angels neck from behind.

Angie screeched in a mix of confusion and fear, managing to twist his flexible body around in the deers clench. Soon being thrown to the floor “What the fuck are ya doing there, Alastor?” His voice was nervous, backing away as he was planted below him.

“You bit my darling y/n. Spider” he walked slowly toward the spider, before he burst out laughing. Leaving the confused Alastor with a tilt in his neck. “You think this is funny?”

Angel struggled to form a word between breaths of air. “Let me guess. Y/n got bit by a spider and you’re automatically gunning for me?” He got up, hand on his knee to help him.

“That’s a bit discriminatory to us spiders, we don’t all have 8 legs yanno?” He dusted his blazer off and wiped away a tear from his eye. Alastor losing his temper the more he spoke. Someone needed to pay for the harm, he thought.

Within seconds hell broke loose. Charlie and Vaggie rushed to the lobby after hearing something break. To be met with glasses being throw at the wall, a black tentacle slapping husk around the face, angels golden tooth glaring as he shot anything that moved and a fire In Alastors eye that said “death to all”. It was mayhem.

Before they had a chance to react, another scream came from the living room. Stopping everyone from what they were doing… except for niffty. Niffty was still cleaning up after everyone like a mad man.

Rushing to the room next door, the group stopped in their tracks to find you hiding on the mantle piece above the fire place.

“My dear? What’s the matter?” Alastor spoke first, stepping into the room.

“SPIDER!! ITS BACK TO FINISH ME OFF!” You screamed, pointing at the tiny black spec on the floor.

“Oooohh…” everyone in the door way collectively hummed, realising the mistake.

“what have you got to say to me now,huh?”Angel poked his shoulder, the demon gritting his teeth as his head snapped back.

“There’s still time to kill you, Angel dearest!”

[estxkios]

SICK DAY ੈ✩‧₊˚

tom kaulitz x fem!reader

you help tom wash his dreads because they are dirty and poor boy is too sick to do it himself 😭.

warnings : fluff, swearing, friends bullying eachother (as a joke!!)

you had been in lockdown at the twins house for about 2 days now.

2 days ago before their mother left to get groceries she warned that it would rain, and that you and the boys could not go outside in the rain because you could catch a cold.

but when she left the house, all hell broke loose.

bill peered his head out of the downstairs window, watching as his moms car pulled out of the driveway onto the rocky street, the sound of the car agaisnt the gravel getting fainter as it left their neighborhood

"y/n, tom!! grab the rainboots now!! mom left!!" bill shouted upstairs to you and tom, who were in his room watching tv.

"hell yeah!!" tom shouted as he headed for the hall closet, throwing out 3 pairs of rainboots, one pair alot bigger than the others.

"here, y/n, you can wear our moms!" tom handed you the large boots,

"are you sure?" you said, studying the rain boots.

"yes im sure. now get them on so we can go outside!!" tom shouted, looking over to bill who was standing by the door with his rainboots already on.

"HURRY UP YOU TWO!!" shouted bill as he motioned for you to hurry up.

you quickly put on the boots and stumbled over your feet because of the too-large shoe size.

bill caught you by your shoulders before you fell, he looked up at you and smiled before patting you on the back and urging you and tom out of the door.

the three of you danced and laughed, jumping in the small puddle in the road, all while the rain absolutely soaked your clothes.

"guys come and watch me sing!" you heard bill shout.

you looked over to tom who was already walking towards bill

"okay you two sit there" bill pointed to a spot in the wet, muddy grass.

"bill, really? you get to dance on the pavement and we get put in the muddy grass?!" tom argued.

"yeah? what about it?!" bill shot back rolling his eyes in annoyance.

you were about to break them up when you saw a very familiar car pull into the twins driveway.

"GUYS!!" you shouted pointing at their moms car

they stopped and looked at the car, then their gazes shifted to you and you nodded.

"RUN!!" tom yelled.

you guys all ran to the front porch, all stumbling as you took your shoes off before pushing eachother through the front door.

the twins mom ran inside with the groceries behind you three, and apparently bill was lacking behind because she grabbed his shirt before he could run away with you and tom.

you looked at him with pity before his mom sat him on the couch

"shit." you whispered under your breath. you and tom stopped to look at mrs. kaulitz.

"dont think you two are getting out of this!! tom, y/n, sit!!"

you and tom shamefully walked over to the couch where mrs. kaulitz gave you three a lecture about going out in the rain.

when the lecture that felt like hours finally ended, she checked all of your temperatures.

bill had a fever of 99.9,

you had a fever of 100.2

and tom had a fever of 102.3

"what am i gonna do with you three..?" mrs. kaukitz mumbled under her breath

you looked at tom who was mouthing her words with a crinkled nose. bill slapped him on the knee and told him to stop which made you let out a small giggle.

"okay, y/n. im gonna call your mom and let her know that you'll be staying here until you get better, okay?"

"okay, thankyou." you said with a smile.

you and bill were sat cuddled up on the couch watching tv while tom was in his room sleeping.

"hey.. bill?" you whispered.

no response.

he was definitely sleeping.

and soon you were too.

-

and now you are here, peering into toms room with a small bottle of medicine, you and bill were feeling much better than the day you had gotten sick, but tom on the other hand? not so much.

"hey, tom..? are you awake?" you whispered into his room.

tom pulled the covers off of himself "yeah." he muttered groggily.

"oh, well, your mom wanted my to give you this." you said softly, walking over to his bed.

he turned over to face you and sat up, you sat next to him cross legged and handed him the medicine, which he quickly swallowed down with some water.

he layed back but this time not putting the blanket over himself, instead he curled up next to you and sighed

you felt bad. tom never acted this, so you couldnt imagine how sick he was feeling. you brought you hand to his forhead and brushed the stray hairs off of it. "tom, your dreads are a little, uh."

"dirty? yeah i know. my mom keeps telling me to wash them but i dont wanna get out of bed." he nudged his head closer to you and you laughed.

"tom lets wash your dreads!! i can smell them from heree." you said dramatically plugging your nose and scooting off the bed.

tom replied with a long groan and with that you grabbed his hand and yanked him out his bed.

"jesus- what the f-" he paused and gave you a dead stare which you couldnt see because you were already walking cheerfully to the bathroom.

-

you set up a chair against the sink so that tom would have somewhere to sit while you did the dirty work.

"tom get off the floor now your chair ready."

"help me up-" he whined, but was cut off when you once again yanked him out of his spot.

"if my arm doesnt fall off by the next time you do that ill be suprised." he said as he sat wiped off the chair before sitting in it.

"me too. now lean your head back so we can wash your hair. the smell is unbearable." you made a gagging sound and tom rolled his eyes before closing them and leaning his head into the sink.

"dont get soap in my eyes this time. please?" tom opened his eyes for a moment to look at what you were doing.

"no promises."

-

you opened the bottle of shampoo with a 'pop' and put some in your hands running it through toms dreads, and he sighed at you massaged his scalp.

you turned on the tap and moved toms head farther into the sink so his hair would reach the water.

"tell me if its to ho-"

"OW BITCH IT FUCKING BURNS!!" tom shouted, lifting his head up from the sink and spraying hot water everywhere.

"oops." you laughed.

tom gave you a playful look and you returned one with your tongue stuck out.

"okay lean ur head back again i wont burn you this time!! promise!!"

"fine, fine!"

you finished washing out the shampoo and moved onto conditioner, again putting it in your hands and then in toms hair, avoiding the scalp.

the gentle rhythm of your hands moved through his locks, untangling any knots and soothing his whole body.

tom leaned into your touch, but he flinched when the water turned on in fear of being burned again.

"tom, relax!! this is supposed to be relaxing not traumatizing."

"maybe i am traumatized from you burning me." he laughed and adjusted his position in the seat.

-

after washing the last of the conditioner out of his hair you grabbed him a towel so he could wrap his hair, you truly didnt understand why he did it, but it was always funny when he did wrap his hair, so you never stopped him.

you threw the towel onto his head and grabbed his hand, navigating him back to his room.

he took the towel off of his head and glared at you which made you laugh.

he sat on the floor in-front of his mirror and skillfully tied the towel around his dreads.

"tom," you laughed. "you look funny with that towel."

"you always look funny." he sighed as he got up, smiling to himself at his 'genius' insult.

"no tom, seriously why do you use that towel?? you look like an egg!"

" one, it makes my hair look better, two, you are an egg." he sat next to you and layed his towel wrapped head on your shoulder.

minutes passed, and you couldve sworn tom was about to fall asleep when you heard someone tip-toeing down the hallway, and seconds later, toms door creaked open, making tom lift his head up and open his eyes.

bill peaked through the crack in the door before shouting "AHH!! EGG TOM!!" and running dramatically down the hallway, which made you and tom look at each other and burst out into laughter.

--------------------------------------------------------

this was a longer one 😭😭.

and im working on a longer fic than this rn, and i have writers block. 🧍🏻‍♀️ so if i go M.I.A for a bit thats why 🤫

anways, bye angelss!!

[paiges-1vur]

welcome to the party… as always enjoy loves <3 (pt. 1/4)

Friday 9:00 pm

I looked at myself in the mirror, my jaw dropping immediate as I turned to my proud best friend. My roommate Riley looked down at me.

“What do you think!” she asked smiling ear to ear.

Despite being somewhat of a girly girl, I never had a good sense of style. (thats where Riley comes in). Tonight when I heard we were going out to the bars I decided to let her get me ready. Turning back to the mirror I saw my long golden brown hair straightened reaching almost past my butt. My hair has always been one of my favorite things about me. She had also done my makeup, and had gone for a soft glam which suited me well. i never looked good with lots of makeup on. If anything i feel more confident without any at all.

“Do you the think the skirt is too much?” Riley says, snapping me back into reality. I scan my outfit. Im wearing the infamous “is this too much for a little bar in jersey..” top and i laugh to myself. Riley paired it with a jean mini skirt. Emphasis on mini.

“I like it” I smile up at her. Despite my smile sees right through me.

“But what” she asks, anticipating my reply.

“Don’t you you think i look like a..” I trail off, “a whore?” Don’t get me wrong i loved the outfit, but being blessed as a C cup and having a good ass on me made me worried about what people would think if they saw me in this outfit. I loved playing volleyball at Uconn, and being one of the shortest players to go D1 at 5”1. It was one of my biggest accomplishments.

Im not one to brag but I do have a pretty good body. I have a toned stomach from hours of being im the gym, and a good ass from weight training with my teammates. I just didnt want anybody to get the wrong idea about me based off of my outfit.

“Ana, dont worry about it. If anyone has something to say about the way you look tonight, then they can talk to me first.” Riley reassured me. Her confidence is something i only wish i could have. I took a deep breath and gave her a hug.

“Thans ry. By the way i love this outfit. 10/10, chefs kiss.” I do a little spin for her showing a full 360 of the outfit.

Riley hypes me up before grabbing my hand and taking me into the kitchen of our small apartment. Its not much, but its nice to live off campus. I watch her grab the fireball from the kitchen counter as she flashes me a smile.

as shes pouring me a shot i secretly pray to not get alcohol poisoning tonight. Tonight was one of the biggest going out days at Uconn, especially because the woman’s basketball team had just won the big east tournament. I wonder if the team would be out at teds tonight.

“Ready?” I get pulled out of my delusion to see Riley handing me the shot. I throw it back and immediately feel the burning in my throat reaching for a caprisun as a chaser.

“Shit its 9:30 already and we cant miss the pre game come on!” Riley grabs me by the hand and rushes us out the door.

____________

“Who’s dorm are we going to again?” I ask basically screaming over the Drake blasting in Rileys car.

“Remember that girl Azzi I had cognitive science with?” She looks at me. “Her and some of her friends are going to Teds tonight too and invited us to pregame with them.”

I feel anxiety wash over me. “But Riley she doesn’t even know me! And you know how i get… I’m not good at socializing or meeting new people.”

“Don’t worry she told me i could bring a friend, and shes exited to meet you and introduce you to her friends. I promise it’ll be fun, they are all nice girls.”

We park next to her building, getting out of the car to walk up to her dorm together.

I fix my hair and bit my lip anxiously waiting for Azzi to answer the door. What am i getting myself into?

__________

[romana-after-dark]

Our Gentle Sins: Part 7

Dark!Logan Howlett x fem!reader

My god this header is ass but I was an emo kid what can I say

Series Masterlist : Main Masterlist : Logan Masterlist

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Chapter summary: Past. Logan has a nightmare. Present. You have a nightmare.

Warnings: This fic features non con, pregnancy, and themes of religous trauma. I will not be saying everything that happens to warm you, by clicking read more you are prepared for extremely dark themes and that you at 18+. You are responsible for your own media consumption.

EXTRA WARNING!!!!: Pretty graphic. Again, I cant and wont tag everything but I dont wanna throw you off.

2.3 words

Before

“Logan?”

Your voice broke through the noise, the sound of machine guns and children screaming and a bomb dropped in the distance but he heard you. Everything was disjointed, every war, just or unjust, melded into others. Nazi’s shot by WWI German troops, a confederate soldier beheading an English man, Indigenous tribes fighting alongside terrorists, a confusing group to say the least. Still, he heard you.

“Logan!”

You, standing in the middle of it all in a modest pink dress. You, pristine as if you were teaching a class but surrounded by blood and bodies and murdered innocents. You, who when he blinked, was covered in blood but not from bullets or beyonets or gunned up airplanes, but slashed up like Freddy Kruger was hopping his way into his dream. You were holding your stomach, scrambling to keep your guts inside yourself. He was trying to reach you, but hands pulled him back. He couldn’t see faces, but Logan knew they were the hands of all those he’d killed. In front of him, separating Logan from you now, were other. Scott, Charles, Jean, everyone who’d told him to stay away from you.

They aren’t helping you, they aren’t even trying. Instead, they just admonish Logan.

“See what you've done?” Jean asks, and Logan tries to push through.

“She’s bleeding! She needs help!” He screams and screams, watching as you fall to your knees, blood beginning to spill out your mouth. “I need to help her!”

Charles now, voice calm. “I think you’ve done enough.”

“No! I didn’t hurt her! I’d never hurt her! Please, Dolly! Dolly I’m coming!”

Scott, for some reason without his glasses. “We knew this would happen, we knew you couldn’t be trusted, Logan.”

“I wouldn’t hurt her! PLEASE! Just- Let me- DOLLY!!!”

You’ve collapsed, convulsing on the ground as you shout his name over and over again. Logan screams for you, using all his strength to try and get away, to help you, get you out of the war zone and to help, but the weight of the hands around him are too much. They pull and grasp and voices moan in agony behind him.

They pull him away from you.

“LOGAN! WAKE UP!”

Then his eyes are open, claws out and he’s scanning his dark bedroom for the danger, the danger he knows has to be there because why else would he be so fucking scared? But then he turns and he sees you, standing in the corner with your arms crossed over yourself and and he thinks back to the scene in his head where you were dying and Logan almost runs to you- but when he moves, he sees you flinch.

There is a long, long moment where the only thing breaking the silence were your ragged breaths and the pounding of blood in his ears, eyes inter looked in mutual fear. Logan looked at you like you were a spooked deer, even though it was him that felt an unyielding terror inside. You stood in PJ’s, and as his eyes adjusted he took in the new side of you, clothing revealing more than skin you didn’t show. You slept in a dress. Not pants and a top, not a dress meaning lingerie or something cute. Logan thinks for a moment of those outfits worn on the Amazonian Islands in the 70’s Wonder Woman show, how it was just lingerie. No, nothing like that. You just wore a dress, something akin to what he’d seen women wear more than 100 years ago, something a grandma would wear now, a skirt that went to the mid-shin.

Even in the privacy of your own bedroom, you weren’t free from the rhetoric. He bet you wore cotton panties.

You were the first to speak, voice soft and careful as if you weren’t the one shaking. “Are you… okay?”

You, sweet beautiful you, were concerned about him. He’d had a nightmare, because of course he had, of course he could never be free from all the before… but he was okay. 

“Yeah, I uh…” Logan ran a finger over his face, shaking off the tremors. “Nightmare.”

A little nod from your head, then your voice, barely audible. “I get them too.”

Of course you did. Of course a sweet wonderful little doll like you was plagued like this. 

Logan relaxes, shoulders slumping and he slides his legs over the side of the bed before burying his face in his hands. “I’ll kill him, you know.” He mumbles. “Just tell me anything, anything about him and I can track him down. Anything about you.”

The name you used wasn’t a real name. You’d chosen from some woman in the bible you admired, a jewish woman who used her beauty to seduce an enemy and slayed him. Judith was the subject of two Artemisia Gentileschi paintings, hence his familiarity. Logan wasn’t an art guy, but being the history teacher he’d had to brush up on his renaissance art. Your last name was fake too, something you and Charles drummed up and probably had some other religious significance, although he wasn’t religious enough to know. Maybe he’d ask Kurt. 

It’d all been faked and slapped on some ID’s no one would ever be able to tell weren’t real. Your new identity was sealed. Even if you left the school, you could go on. Charles had even faked an education degree and high school diploma when you promised to not use it to do anything you weren’t qualified for. Charles didn’t want you to be trapped at the school, and since the school had been your only option at the time, you’d been given a freedom to leave. This was more than your husband had ever done, keeping you trapped and helpless, not even knowing how to drive. 

All he needed was your real name, and he could track your husband down and bring his head on a platter like John the Baptist. Was that a Gentileschi painting, or was that Caravagio?

“I know.” Your voice breaks him out of his thoughts like you had done with his nightmare. “Which is why I won’t tell you.”

When Logan looks up, he sees you still standing so far away from him, and chuckles dryly. “You scared of me now, doll face?”

You shake your head no, but it’s not as confident as he’d have liked.

“I’m in my pajamas. You’re shirtless in shorts. There’s a bed.”

His eyebrows rose at that. “You think I’d do something to you?”

This time, when you shake your head, it’s much firmer. “No. Absolutely not. It’s just… I was always taught to never be in a man’s bedroom… or I might bring something on myself, or it would lead me to sin, or, or there’s something about the appearance of sin… I dunno, it’s just considered improper.”

He let the words settle into his skin. Sometimes, loving you was like the women he’d loved, bedded, courted so long ago. Such a different time, a different world. Yet you were still so different. Back then, women were just waiting for someone to untether them, give them an out, run away. They craved that freedom, the liberty sex brings. Logan didn’t know what you craved. There was nothing inside you that said you wanted to scream, to be unhinged, to let go. You weren’t a bubble waiting to pop, you were simply happy to be as you were, dresses and all.

“I understand, Dolly. Thank you for uh, for waking me. But you should really just let me be, next time.” Flashes of Rogue all bloodied in his arms flattered across Logan’s memory. Kayla, scratched up before his bones became the weapon they are now.  “I might accidentally hurt you.”

Something he doesn’t recognize flashes on your face before you give a little nod. “Are you alright? I can go make you some tea?”

Part of Logan wanted to say yes, because he loved when you made him tea, but you looked tired. “No, thank you doll. I’m alright. Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting weird.”

“Thanks kinda my thing, isn’t it?” You smile just a little, making a bit of a face as you walk sideways towards the door. “Little homeschooled teen marriage weirdo?”

Logan’s eyes narrowed at your weird behavior, not turning your back to him, but he decided he didn’t need to question your every move.

“You’re not a weirdo. You’re one of the coolest people I know.”

You laugh at that, eyes bright as always, and slide out the door.

After

You scream. And scream. And scream, over and over again. There’s blood everywhere. Logan tore everyone you loved apart; your students, your fellow teachers, Scott, Jean, Kurt, Emma, Charles. Every single one was hacked to pieces. Logan pinned you to the ground, pounding into your cunt as if you were just a lifeless doll. You didn’t fight. You didn’t scream. Were you screaming before? You can’t remember now.

Lifeless you lay, head lulled to the side as Logan fucked you. There was blood coming out of your cunt, but you didn’t know how you knew that. Spread and prone and stretched you took what Logan gave you, his soft words grunting in your ear.

“Isn’t this better, doll? Not fighting? See, I can make it good for you. I can make you wet. You’re so wet for me, my little submissive dolly.” It wasn’t blood between your legs anymore, it was cum as an uncomfortable orgasm swelled through your body. Still, ever so still, you never moved. Remy lay next to you, unrecognizable outside of intuition as he’s just a pile of slashed flesh now.

“My perfect, lifeless doll.” You’re pliant in his hands.

Suddenly Scott is in front of you, a bodiless head , eyes gouged out of his face, nothing but bloody pits. Still he speaks.

“You did this.”

No. No you’d never-

“You’re dangerous. Violence follows you. You’re a grenade.”

It wasn’t you! It was Logan!

“It hasn’t always been Logan. But it’s always been you. You are the common denominator.”

You blink and it’s no longer the friends and family and children of your new life. It’s your mom and dad, siblings, in laws, everyone who meant something to you before. 

It’s your husband between your legs now, and you think there is nothing possible worse than this, nothing could be worse than him being back. Everything you went through, it’s never going to end. You’re dying. Maybe you’re dead because you’re watching from above now, your body on the ground and cold.

Your husband strokes your lifeless, compliant form. “The perfect wife.”

You’re back in your body, your mother lying next to you now. “Why couldn’t you just be good?”

You wake up to Remy shaking you.

His voice is an immediate calm, a recognition that he isn’t dead, he’s not a mass of gore on the floor while you’re being raped, killed for something you’ve done that you didn’t even know what. He’s alive.

“Remy!” You grab his shirt, pulling him to you and you don’t care that he’s a man half on your bed. He’s alive. Remy has often woken you from nightmares, his room right next to yours. Remy was closer, but Logan could hear you from further. Still, Remy was a light sleeper, so he usually got to you before Logan was aware.

Once you let go, Remy took several steps back, right up against the wall. This was something Remy did to prevent further anxiety. You trusted Remy fully, you never got an inkling that he wanted to fuck you or was playing the long game, just that he wanted to help you.

“They are getting worse again, pistache. It’s more often than when you first came here.”

You pull your blanket close to your chest even though you were fully covered. Remy slept in boxers, but he wore a robe around himself, something he bought after the first time he helped you through a nightmare. He came in in just his underwear and you were only three days into joining the school. Needless to say, seeing a man almost naked had scared the ever living hell out of you, so Remy bought a robe to cover up without having to waste time dressing. He was thoughtful like that. 

“I know, I know. I just… stress… I got the prom coming up, been a lot.”

Remy frowned, “Planning a high school dance shouldn’t trigger nightmares. Is this because of what happened at the ball?”

You wince. That memory was a lot, something that you didn’t like to think about. You doubted Scott did either, and if his jaw was ever the same. 

You took to long to answer, looking down at your blanket, so Remy continued. “I know that you and Logan have had… a falling out.” Your heart clenches at the words, heat flushing over your skin. Your blanket hid what you had been under loose clothing; a bump. You tuck your knees up so the blanket downs fall over your stomach. “I think he can fix it. You and him… well, I thought you’d get along before you ever met him. I brought your down stairs that first day because I’d seen him walking in, sent him to the store with you, sent him to have lunch… I think you two suit each other.” Remy gives you a smile. “You soften him. He protects you. It’s good for you both. Whatever it is, I think you can fix it. That’s all I’ll say.”

Remy stayed true to his word, not continuing about it… but you couldn’t help thinking how horrified he’d be if he found out what Logan did to you. He’s still gone, coming back any day now. Remy thought you softened him, and you suppose you did. For a while. 

You let Remy get you a snack, a little sweet treat to get the sick taste out of your mouth and cheer you up. He was kind, attentive, but the memory of him as nothing but a pile of slosh haunted you. Logan was dangerous. You were already worried about Scott prying where he didn’t need to, worrying about him getting himself killed, but now you think about Remy. What will he do when he learned Logan raped a baby into you?

Logan returns to his dolly next chapter! Next chapter we have 2 dances. Past, a ball Dolly put on because of the pride and prejuduce unit for her lit class, and presant she put on a sort of prom for the teenagers.

That chapter is where we get another HUGE chunk of dolly's past! the final bombwill be nearer to the end. I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on what you think dollys secrets are!!! There was a hint this chapter!

Ideas for a poll is always welcome! as are songs for the playlist

I need to make a better cover pic now that ive gotten a feel for the series and its themes

If you've read Rooms on Fire or The Wrong Way, you know I tend to write a similar type for these dark series. Dolly, Little one and Madonna are all girly, quieter, feminine, submissive types. I hope that those whove read it all, because i know some people have read most things i put out, don find dolly boring. I think all three are unique in their own ways, and Dolly has her own things too, even if she's quiet and nervous

I love all yall and am so thankful for the support ive gotten here!!!!!

please remember, comments keep me writing. It doesnt have to be a compiment, just something that shows engagment like "remy is a good friend"

@multiversed-daydreamer @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @del-ightfulling @miraclesabound @hindi-si-ikay @samsamsantos @madamerubrum @shybluebirdninja a @hornystan @rogueinmymind @accountforreading123 @yawnetu @princessanglophile @and-claudia @new-genesis1000 @teaganthemorningstar @oldloganslittleslut @zaggprincess2 @bugsinmyeyez @groundclueless @cosmolight

[insomniasdelusion]

wait idk if you do poly ships but can i have fruitcake x reader.. (if you don’t do poly just sprout or cosmo separate)

AHH I LOVE HOW U WRITE :3 (dandy’s world!)

RAAAH YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE TWOOOO!! (I’m a Cosmo main-)

Fruitcake x Reader!

Warnings: none!

A mix between small drabbles and head canons!

———————————————————————

Head canons!

-Cosmo is in all other sense a little clumsy and nervous except for when he’s baking! He takes a lotta pride in his work.

-Sprout.. is the exact opposite- he’s really chill and relaxed when doing anything except for when baking and can be a bit clumsy! It’s why they work so well together!

-you try to occasionally help, although normally don’t when not asked. You do like to watch them though, you think it’s cute to see Sprout slip up a little when he’s always so self-assured and see Cosmo take charge! Definitely a trip sometimes though.

-Cosmo loves nicknames! Love, gumdrop, baby cakes, sweetheart, sugar, etc.

-Sprout only uses nicknames in intimate moments when the three of you are with each other in private, it’s just a preference!

-Sprout can get easily jealous, which sometimes leads to him jumping to conclusions.

-Cosmo however likes to ask and get his facts straight before anything!

-Sprout can be a little hot headed-

-you all very with each other’s energy, Sprout the normally calm and sassy one, Cosmo embodies anxiety and worry, he just wants yall to be okay! And you are the most excitable and can be a little reckless, although will always stick up for them! There your boys!

-Whenever you three go on runs you always check on each other, seeing if anybody needs to be healed, how they’re feeling, and then move onto the others in the elevator.

-While Sprout and Cosmo are best friends, some other close friends of there’s are Vee and Shelly funny enough- Cosmo and Shelly have always just kinda clicked, they rambled to each other about whatever, Vee and Sprout were those two friends who insulted each other like siblings- but immediately bark back at someone who tries to insult the other.

-now for you- your close friends with the craft siblings! You help out Goob with making sure Scraps doesn’t get in trouble, because despite being the older one she definitely has her moments more often than not. Goob is just silly and always willing to help! Although he sometimes throws people off with his extreme friendliness.

———————————————————————

“Come on bud! You can’t be scared to talk to them?”

“I know I know! Just- what if they laugh at me? I love them a lot I don’t want ruin what we already have..”

You pouted, curling up a little on your bed staring at the wall.

“You won’t know if you don’t try! And they would never laugh at you Cosmo and Sprout aren’t those kind of people, besides sometimes it could be better to take a shot in the dark?”

Goob insists, he wanted you to confess, thinking you’ve been mulling over it a little too long.

“Maybe..”

“Come here bud, your besties got you!”

You chuckle, moving to wrap your arms around the fluffy toon.

“You sound so dorky..”

You mumbled to him, the toon using his multi-colored paw patting the top of your head.

Neither of you noticed the watchful eye from the door.

You had been in the kitchen, it being your turn to make dinner today, you were sifting through the cabinets trying to find what to make.. hm, maybe you could make salads? No.. oo! You could make pasta and cut up some fruits as a side!

So that’s what you did, you pulled out the necessary ingredients, grabbing the utensils needed as well. You started to boil the water, humming quietly before you heard voices coming down to the main entrance of the kitchen. In came Cosmo and Sprout, you weren’t fully zoned into their conversation deciding to focus on my task instead of the heat in my cheeks.

The two stopped noticing you, they had momentarily forgotten it was your turn to cook tonight. Cosmo called out your name, making you turn to look at him.

“Hmm? What’s up Cos?”

You chirp, grinning at him making sure to keep an eye on the food though.

“I was just wanted to ask what you were cooking? Maybe me and Sprout could help.. only if that’s alright with you of course!”

He said, his words a little quicker at the end.

“Sure! Could you two work on cutting up the fruit while I make the pasta?”

You ask, Cosmo nods, Sprout stares for a moment before nodding being oddly quiet.

The three of you work smoothly, you and Cosmo chatting while Sprout only gives input when asked. As time passed by being like this, you gave Cosmo confused glances wondering why Sprout was so.. distant? The cake roll gave a shrug in return, just as confused so you decided to just ask.

“Hey Sprout”

“Hm?”

“You okay..? You’ve been a little quiet?”

“..fine, just thinking.”

“You sure? You know you can tell us right?”

You say, taking the time to set down what you were working on to walk over to him. Gently setting a hand on his shoulder, making the room jump in surprise.

You blink, gently taking your hand off him as he sighs frustrated setting down the knife he was using.

“Question.”

“Ehm..”

You glance at Cosmo who is now standing beside, just as concerned.

“Shoot..?”

“Are you dating Goob?”

“HUH-“

“..wha?”

You raised your voice in surprise and Cosmo mumbled his own confusion, looking at Sprout bewildered.

“Are you. Dating. Goob.”

Sprout repeats, staring at you intensely.

“What- no! He’s just my friend-? Why?? What I’m the world brought this up!“

“I saw you to hugging in your room when I went to go get you! What was that about??”

Sprout huffed back, crossing his arms. Cosmo looked to you for an answer, now even more confused.

“He was helping me with something.. besides! Goob aroace! He doesn’t like anyone period-“

You grumble, now annoyed with Sprouts behavior.

“What was he helping you with?”

Sprout pushed, what was Goob helping you with that him and Cosmo couldn’t?

“It’s private.”

“Well I wanna know! What was so important you couldn’t tell me and Cosmo?”

“It’s.. wait, are you jealous?”

You ask, looking at him surprised. He avoided your gaze now, looking at the floor with an embarrassed blush.

“Is that what this is about..? You being jealous?”

You ask, brows furrowed looking at Sprout.

“…”

“Sprout??”

You say his name exasperated.

“Maybe..”

You sigh softly, shaking your head. Better now than never you guessed?

“If you really wanna know what me and Goob were talking about.. it was how I should confess to you and Cosmo..”

You murmur, a soft red dusting your face.

“Wait what-“

Sprout looked at you surprised, Cosmo staring at you wide eyed cheeks flushed.

“You- I- I’m sorry”

Sprout said weakly, his face blazing. Oh berries was he embarrassed now.

“I- I got Jealous.. cause I- well.. me and Cosmo like you to.. but then I thought..”

“I was with Goob?”

You chuckled, glancing at Sprout and then Cosmo who was just standing completely baffled on the events that had happened over the course of two minutes.

“Yeah..”

“Well.. everything’s cleared up now right?”

“Right.”

“So.. you guys like me to..?”

“Y-yeah!”

“Mhm..”

You let out a relieved laugh, smiling at the two.

“I’m really glad we got that out of the way then!”

“Um.. you guys..?”

Both you and Sprout turn to Cosmo, you tilt your head and Sprout hums.

“This is nice and all but uh- the stoves on fire-“

“Oh-“

“MY NOODLES-“

———————————————————————

Annnd there you are! I do hope you enjoyed! :D

[leighcest]

happy twenty years of saw! unfortunately i'm a loser and have too much free time so i read the entire script (and watched the movie twice!) so here's every note i took for the script and ending of the movie:). this is super messy and incoherent but i had fun, and i hope you will too! happy 20 years saw<3.

TW FOR: everything in the first saw movie! gore! mentions of self harm and suicide! drugs! spoilers! mindless rambles! me being incorrect and stupid! absolutely no proper grammar!

Might be reading too deep into this, but half of Leigh’s body being out of water is so funny to me because like, I think if it was on purpose it was probably to try and make him look bigger or like taller???? Like.. LMFAO.

Also this is the movie not the script but I love the angle that we see Leigh in while he’s submerged in water its so fucking good omfg. totally worth him drowning for a few minutes.

“Jesus christ!”

Adam’s first line being a swear is a good way to show he’s juvenile, immature, etc. 

“There is a faint noise. It’s close. In the room.” 

Hey so this is petrifying. 

“A second voice slices through the blackness”

Leigh’s imagery in every. single. script. is genuinely so wonderfully breathtaking. Even if I had never seen this movie before I could imagine it in my head (which says a lot considering I have aphantasia) 

“I don’t know, yet.” 

This line is so interesting to me. It’s not Lawrence just tossing his words around being like ‘ohhh i dont know’ its him being logical and saying ‘i don't know yet’. It sets the tone for his character to set him up as this sensible rational thinker of a character. Similar to how he’s described as a ‘older’ or more mature character.

“The man begins whispering to himself; primal, childlike”

Immediately after this line, Adam whispers prayers to himself. He’s so young. So fragile. I wish we got to see more. So fragile, and yet still learning. So is Lawrence in a way. I think it’s symbolic. (This next part is purely headcanon, feel free to skip). They represent each other in a way I suppose. Adam who’s outward about himself (more on that later) but doesn’t have his shit together. Lawrence who’s always had his shit together, but couldn’t ever be himself. It’s the yin and yang I guess.

“The older man (46) … The other man, (25)”.

They have a 21 year age gap. By the time Lawrence had taken his first legal shot, Adam was opening his eyes for the first time. Also I’d like to note that Adam is 25. His brain just developed. (Pushing that ftm agenda!). He. is. still. learning. Him and Daniel and Diana and every other young victim were still learning. I am fully on board with the ‘Adam is NOT a good person’ train but also the fandom (from my experience) will also treat him like a super shit person too. Anyways, 21 years. That’s crazy. I feel like that pushes the feeling that Adam and Lawrence are supposed to be these polar opposite's but, honestly, this just reinforces how similar they are in their core. anyways, yeah.

“Lawrence kneels down for a better look at the corpse” + “He vomits.”

The difference between their characters is shown well through their reactions. Lawrence tries to figure more out and Adam fucking throws up LMFAO. Anyways. yeah.

“Despite himself, Lawrence’s stern, even tone has the effect of settling Adam a little bit.”

THEM. Chainshipping please save us. They could have had a life UGH. anyways. This line means so much to me you guys don’t get it.

“What about you, huh!?” + “What?”

When Adam is being questioned at the beginning his voice is soft and afraid before getting defensive.

(All of Adam’s first flashback)

NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US. NEVER EVER FORGET WHAT WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN. However, I do think the lack of any other real information about Adam is a very strong storytelling device whether intentional or not. He is not a character. He is a plot device. In the final movie, he has one flashback that is purely there to further the plot, specifically about Lawrence. We don’t learn a whole lot about Adam except why he was put in Lawrence’s trap. 

“Adam mouths the words ‘little shithead’ along with the irate neighbor– this is clearly a well worn routine.” 

Leigh. I know it’s been twenty years. PLEASE MAKE THIS SCENE COME TO LIFE I’M ACTUALLY ON MY KNEES BEGGING. I need this flashback so bad i am going to put myself in the rbt. anyways. this bit is so endearing it just kinda makes me giggle:3.

“He ‘shoots’ the cop with his fingers.”

PROGRESSIVE ADAM!

“The door opens again, Adam emerging with a carton of milk.”

Everyone always talks about how he’s feeding a stray cat, and like, yeah, that's surface level. But. like. that was probably the last of his food.

“What a lovely, non-judgemental animal you are.”

I like to think that Adam became a stalking photographer because of the fact he never fitted in anyways. Like yeah, he’s not a good person, but why? Why does he want to kill himself? Why doesn’t his family talk to him? I have so many questions. I need to know more about him. Also. You lovely, lonely thing. (/ref) OK KMS I’M DONE.

“Lawrence studies his face, needs more.”

Me too man, me too. Anyways lets play a game of is this romantic or is Juno reading too much into this and needs to go to bed and log off of ao3?

“Lawrence reaches the BMW” 

sorry i just hate how much of a soccer mom he is, continue. 

“‘Lift up your sleeves.’ Adam does.”

scars lining his wrists. that's it. that's the note.

“Can you see any scars??”

Yeah bitch your top surgery ones (sorry)

“Yeah well, how do you know I’m not in terrible agony?”

sassy ass man jesus christ

“It’s the only object in the room not incrusted in mould”

Leigh spells mold the aussie/british way and that made me laugh.

“Adam sits on the floor, unbuckling his jeans and yanking them down.”

WHAT???? I do not remember this scene! Anyways, (cough) slut (cough)

“It’s a tape. It says play me for the rules.”

No it doesn’t, it says ‘play me’, liar.

“High pitched and cheerful.”

THAT WAS JIGSAW'S VOICE? dude if billy was the one doing the tapes i literally never would have watched this out of fear.

(All of Lawrence/Adam’s tape.) 

Lawrence’s tape was twelve compound/complex sentences. Adam’s was four simple sentences. Adam is not a character. This is not his trap. He is a pawn, a part, a witness, a victim. He is not a character.

 “Just shit.”

LMFAO

“Why thank you for that information, Zep.”

Lawrence seems to be a lot nicer in this script to Zep than in the movie. Deserved.

“David Tapp (40) and Steven Sing (28, Asian)”

why is sing the only character who’s race had been decided …???? what... is this cuz of his like one off chinese food joke

“Are they always chained up with you?”

You wish.

“Hear that? That’s the sound of my marriage going down the drain.”

SING NOOOO </3. He had a family n shit:(. Cries

“She’s one of the nurses at my hospital. Couldn’t tell you her name.” + “Her name is Amanda Denlon.”

MANDY!!!!!! I’m not sure wether I’d prefer this nurse version of mandy (and possibly drug addict lynn in 3?) or the way it is now. I don’t care. I love her.

“It speaks with a voice we have come to known as Jigsaw’s.”

I love this line so much it’s just so. GAH! Idk :3.

“Hard to complain when your mouth isn’t open, isn't it?”

This is so. God. Jesus Christ. I don’t even know. Sad, gut-wrenching, sickening. I love you Mandy you do NOT deserve this !!!!

“Like a bear trap.”

I find it kinda like full-circle-ish that one of the most famous horror scenes ever is Mandy’s reverse bear trap scene that Leigh wrote and then starred in a movie four years later where one of the main characters dies from a bear trap to the neck. (dying breed)

“I’m alive.”

I know Leigh said he and James never planned for sequels, but Amanda’s character was so perfectly set up as an apprentice. I don’t know. It’s amazing. I love this movie.

“Adam looks like a frightened child.”

Let’s separate this. Like a frightened child. Again, immature, unsure Adam. Adam looks. Voyuerer. 

“Can you hear me in there, you dirty fuck? You haven’t worried me in the slightest! I’m having the time of my life!” 

Guess this Adam hasn’t had a lot of fun with lube.

“Fuck thinking. Don’t you wanna scream?” 

Me

“‘You’re not gonna leave us, are you Daddy?’ This one stumps him.”

STOP. I simply cannot do this right now.

“I was an only child. Always wanted a brother or sister.”

I wholeheartedly think he only wanted an older sibling to protect him from his parents abuse or so that someone other than him would get the blame. Adam would hate himself for it, but, you know.

“I remember I wanted to be a vet. I really, really wanted to be a vet.” 

I know everyone and their mother talks about this line, but I’ve literally stayed up SOBBING because of it. It means so much to me, maybe because I can kinda relate to it in a sense, maybe because Adam Radford-Faulkner-Stanheight is a stupid nerd who is too relatable for his own good. Who knows.

“Gagged like animals.”

Okay. So. I can’t do this.

“I don’t like being watched.”

Ironic.

“Too messy. We don’t have to water these.”

HE’S SUCH A BAD FUCKING PARTNER WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS???? Like i have genuinely never seen any toxic!lawrence rep and i’m SICK OF IT. DO U HEAR ME. SICK.

“The figure rifles through a chest of drawers, in one of them, woman’s underwear.” 

Ew. Fuck you Zep.

“The sewer lines run under this neighborhood too, doctor.”

I love this line more than anyone will get. Ever.

“Give me the address.”

Sing is such a real one bro shout out to him. He has a wife and kids waiting for him to get home and he does ts. Shoutout!

“What’s more important to you, Tapp? Arresting the great Jigsaw or saving a life?”

Narcissistic much? You know, I could put you in a trap for that, John.

“Your eyes aren’t lazy anymore. They don’t glaze over things.”

HOW DOES LEIGH THINK OF THIS SHIT??? Fire ass banger lines nonstop.

“Adam chews his nails, eyes glued to the cigarette. ‘I don’t care, I really don’t, I need one’.”

It’s giving ‘i can quit when I want to!’

“May I please have one, doctor?”

Lawrence straight as hell I woulda gone crazy.

“He holds the treasure chest in his hands. Drills Adam.” 

That sounds like something out of a porno.

“I… I couldn’t. I’m sorry.”

Again. Half movie, half script, but FUCK ME leigh’s american accent is kinda crumbling when he says this so it’s just this pathetic whimper and it’s guilty and it’s just so. Fuck man, I don’t even know. God bless America.

“Why did you want to die?” + “Yeah well, I’m alive AND I’m nothing.”

This dialogue is so devastating I wish I could have included it all. I know I’ve already said it before but I need so bad to have Adam’s lore expanded on. I need it so bad.

this film has way too many flashbacks god DAMN 

“Adam still seems unsure of how to play along with his scheme.”

He’s so stupid I love him.

“Get this thing off me! Get it off!”

Me when I’m overstimulated

“I’m ending this right now, give me that hacksaw.”

Hello if I was Adam i’d be PETRIFIED.

“Dark, cramped, Messy. The walls are covered in protest flyers and band posters. A large portrait of Che Guevera takes up one wall.”

I fw the imagery because I feel like I can smell his apartment. That’s a bad thing, I think. Not too sure now, ask me tomorrow.

“Your father’s not angry anymore. We just want to know if you’re alright.”

We just want to know if you’re alright. Fuck you, Leigh Whannell.

I really like the red room scene in the movie because there's no other noise. It’s quiet. Quiet enough you can hear Leigh’s breathing and creaky floorboards. It’s so contrasted from the rest of the film’s eeriness and it lulls you into this sense of false security. I don’t know. I like it.

“He writes himself a note – Call Mom. Looks at it, and adds a question mark – Call Mom?”

And if I start crying 🤗??

“It looks a lot like Lawrence.”

Wonder why.

“Lighting up a messy but empty bedroom.”

I’d like to note how everything we’ve learned about Adam’s decor choice is shit you can get for free/cheap. Posters that you can print for 80 cents, protest flyers that you can steal off a bulletin board, a cheap flee market painting, nothing at all. Also what is with Adam and Cuba??? 😭

“Where were you last night, Daddy?”

MY BABY. MY POOR BABY. SHE WAS WAITING FOR HIM TO COME AND SAVE HIM. I CANT DO THIS ANYMOREEEEY7WHFIUUWOEFHWJD.

“What did you do in that hotel room? You got outta there pretty fast.”

Adam defo believes he’s an old man one pump chump LMFAOOOO.

“7 am– gym. 9 am– breakfast, one glass of grapejuice. 10 pm– see carla.”

Lawrence Gordon does not go to the gym but okay, second. One glass of grapejuice? Grapejuice????? 10PM SEE CARLA??? Me when I write my affair in my daily planner.

STOP IT WITH THE FLASHBACKS. THIS IS SO CONFUSING.

“You’re not a victim of this game, you’re a part of it.”

Well, yes.

“He’s a gutter feeder.”

LMFAO

“‘I did not..’ he can’t bring himself to say it.”

OHHHHHH i love guilt in media cuz fuck i’m crying now.

“You get that rope off her, now or you’re dead!”

Ally. Sweetheart , love of my life, you fucking idiot why would you do that.

“Lawrence! Please, get up! I need you to get us out of here! I need you!”

Ok gayass. Anyways, this scene is so sad:(.

“Don’t you think I wanna live too, Lawrence? I have a family. I don’t see them, that’s my mistake … it’s a mistake I’d like to fix!”

AND IF I END IT ALL THEN WHAT 🤣🤣🤣!!!! THEN WHAT!!! 🤣🤣🤣. Guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt I love guilt.

Page 89 reads like a novel. I like that. Even if I don’t like this scene, I like it.

“Lawrence wails gibberish. Adam’s pleads can barely be heard over the din.”

oh i’m ill i’m sick i’m so sick i cant plz stop it save me. CHAINSHIPPING IF YO UCAN HEAR THIS PLEASE SAVE US!!

“It doesn’t matter how far down this pit we seem, there is always hope! You told me that!”

ANDDDD IF I START CRYING??? Leigh Whannell when i catch u it is OVER FOR U .

“You wanna chain people up, you sick fuck? You’ll die with your own chain!”

Shit someone let this guy become a poet.

“Get this thing off my foot!” 

cut it off <3 !

“Am I gonna be okay?” + “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

goodnight. GOODNIGHT.

“Unable to believe what he is hearing, Adam turns around and tremors in utter shock.”

Leigh did a fire job of this because I know exactly what he means when I read this and know exactly what he’s doing when I watch it.

“He pushes a needle into his forearm.” 

Ok mandy..

ALSO i love how john and adam are matching shirts theyre so silly.

“This is truly Jigsaw.”

CHILLS.

“I’m surprised by you, Adam. The pawn has done what the knight couldn’t. You’ve murdered and innocent man.”

Fuck me. jesus harold christ because WHAT. freak you leigh whannell you absolute opp. HE IS A PAWN GUYS IT LITERALLT SAID. rip adam you would have loved when the pawn… Also why wasn't this in the movie it totally should have been. anyways, this is my favorite line in the script i think.

(movie ending breakdown from a month ago):

Larry cupping Adam's cheek

Adam leaning into to the touch

Grabbing the hand that cupped his cheek

Larry stopping the toilet seat smashing again because Adam was hurting himself

The bloody handprint of Adam's cheek post-Larry leaving

Adam's face slightly softening when Diana calls Larry for the first time

"you know who i am☹️"

Larry flinching when Adam smashed zep's head

Larry strokes Adam's cheek with his thumb while cupping it

Larry looking in Adam's eyes and tensing when he looked down at his wound

Adam flicking his eyes between Larry's leg and face when he says "are we gonna be okay?" More asking if Larry would be okay

Larry using all his strength to reassure Adam

Adam not being able to look into Larry's eyes when he's lying

Larry not able to look his secretary in her eyes when they're ab to hook up

Larry being electrocuted while Zepp is in a car driving (hinting to jigsaw not being Zepp)

"I need you!" Leigh said Adam was having the darkest part of his life, and I think this line and Leigh's delivery just really shows that perfectly

I can’t believe this movie is twenty years old because it’s so timeless. It’s such an important movie to me and means a lot. I don’t know what to say because I’m constantly pouring my heart out about how much this movie means. It’s just. I don’t know. I’m not very good with words (can you tell?). It’s just amazing. I’m sure everyone will say that, because it's true. For how much shit I give them, the community is so amazing and I've met so many amazing people and made so many wonderful friends thanks to this movie. Yeah. thanks for reading:). anyways. Hope you liked this mess, cause i did! likes + reblogs are appriciated 💓

[manicpixiefelix]

he wanted to be in love (but you got in the way)

{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }

Summary: When Oliver's lies are revealed to you and Felix, you have a much better time understanding his reasoning for it all, and Oliver convinces you to help talk Felix around into hopefully forgiving him. Felix, however, just grows more frustrated as it appears that you've very quickly moved on from the betray, and are urging him to do so too. Meanwhile, Oliver has come to realise that no matter the outcome, Felix will never really want anyone else if he has you by his side.

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: death (YOU DIE IN THIS ONE), murder via overdose, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader and felix arguing a lot, felix being a bit of a dick, angst with an unhappy ending, toxic felix/oliver endgame, heavy drinking and drug use

{ now with an epilogue }

A/N: 6267 words. ooft ouch ooft my heart. i dont like reader & fi fighting and this whole thing fucked me up bigtime. like bigtime bigtime. big angst, please heed the warnings. what do you think about this one? i like it even if it made me cryyyy

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

----

"Please," Oliver's lip trembles when he grabs your sleeve. He doesn't try and chase Felix after you all get back from the disastrous trip to his parents' house, perhaps part of him knew he wouldn't get through to him in this state, so he latches on to you instead, "you- you know," and even just the helpless sense of desire in his voice is familiar to you, "I just wanted to be his friend, be your friend; be close to you both -" Oliver's fidgeting with your sleeve and your heart's breaking for him, despite the betrayal of his lies.

"Ollie-" you sighed, but he took both your hands in his, tears gathering in the beautiful blue eyes you've come to care so deeply about in the past year.

"I never meant any harm," he insists. His hands are shaking.

"I know, Ollie," you finally concede, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"He won't listen to me- won't believe me; please, please, I need you to believe me, I need Felix -" and though he can't seem to finish the request, it's enough. The lies he's told, what they mean for the friendship you've all forged, it makes you feel more than a little queasy, but you think you understand him. At least better than Felix would in this moment.

"I'll try," though your tone doesn't inspire confidence, "just give him space, give him time -"

"I don't have time," Oliver croaks out weakly, gave dropping to the floor, "he'll throw me out tomorrow and never look at me again," this time, when his grip on your hands tightens, it becomes almost painful, face scrunching up as if dreading the tears he was about to shed, the things he was about to say; "and even if you don't hate me the way he does, I'll be losing you too."

Your silence speaks volumes. You hate that he's right.

"You know you're the only hope I've got left." Oliver's nails dig into your skin, but your hands don't shake.

"I will try, that's all I can do."

By the time you get to your room, Felix is already cutting up lines of coke with a delicate little razor from one of the various stashes you and the other wards of the Saltburn Estate had hidden throughout the building over the years. He doesn't look up when you enter, quietly, and furiously focused on the task at hand, cross-legged in the middle of your bed.

Sitting behind him, you lean in to press your forehead between his shoulders, sighing deeply.

"Yeah," Felix mumbles, "it's a bit like that, isn't it?"

Squeezing your eyes closed, all you can see is the love and desperation in OIiver's eyes as he'd held you back, begged for your understanding, forgiveness, friendship -

"You never loved someone so much you'd do anything to keep them around?" You asked softly, and feel Felix go still, "you never lied about your family because you were worried about how people would react if they knew the truth?" The more you consider, the less anger you feel towards what Oliver had done.

"You're different," Felix's voice is carefully neutral. There's a pause, a snort, a line of white powder going up his nose, "you didn't pretend that your dad died just to get sympathy out of me," he points out, already picking at the threads of similarity that you'd laid before him in hopes of softening the betrayal he felt so strongly.

Then he's moving again, doing things you're still not sure of, forehead still pressed to the fabric of his shirt between his shoulders. Sighing, louder this time, you go to say something more, to try and argue your case further, but Felix cuts you off. It's the sharpest he's ever been with you, you think, practically orders you not to talk about this anymore.

Then, he shifts, he reaches for you behind himself, and you move with him, without prompting. Felix leans back, and you move to his side, allow yourself to settle your head on his chest, looking up at him. One hand loosely draped over you, Felix tucks his other behind his head, eyes closed; even if they were open, he wouldn't be looking at you.

"Just shut up about Ollie, just shut up -" his tone is much softer now, but his words still bite more than you're used to, "I don't want to hear anything about fucking Oliver Quick right now." There's a nausea twisting in your gut that you're unfamiliar with, heavy and upsetting, that you somehow know has everything to do with Felix's tone. Part of you feels so embarrassed for even feeling like this, for being so wrapped up in pleasing him that even the slightest hint of disapproval for the first time in years has you so viscerally uncomfortable.

The other part of you ducks your gaze, and curls up against his side, obedient.

"Sure, Fi."

A long silence, softened only by Felix's deep breathing for several long moments before you finally feel him relax.

"I love you," it sounds almost like an apology. You wonder if he knows how to do that. Still, the nausea in your gut immediately begins to clear. This time, when you close your eyes, you try to just be present in the moment for what it is, Felix's arm around you, his steady heartbeat warm beneath your ear; you can find contentment here if you tried.

Much to your chagrin, Felix's mood and feelings of betrayal also meant he was no longer interested in the full costume you'd put together for him for Oliver's birthday party. He's well aware his mother would be appalled if he just showed up in jeans and a shirt, so he reluctantly pulls on the wings you'd spray painted up on the roof a few days before.

"I put time into this, Fi," you pleaded softly, looking at the rest of the costume you'd put together hanging sadly, untouched in his wardrobe.

"Maybe I just want to save it for a happy occasion," Felix refused to even sit down at the dresser, despite where you'd neatly set out both of your accessories for the night. He doesn't even spare the various, gold accoutrements that you'd curated for his costume a second glance, simply fusses with his hair in a way that won't even last.

"You're being ridiculous about this," you finally voice, unable to stop yourself, "he's still Our Oliver, his family doesn't change that -"

Felix goes still in the mirror, expression displeased when he meets your eyes in the reflection. Nausea again. You never want him to look at you like this ever again; you half want to apologise already.

"I don't care about his family, I care about how I don't know if I can believe anything he says! He lied to you, to me, he was clearly lying to his family, considering they have no idea he'd be nothing but a fucking joke at uni if it wasn't for me!" The outburst blindsides you, it seems to even blindside Felix, who has to take a few moments to compose himself before he can look you in the eyes again. Softly, that look of betrayal is turned upon you, "how can you be okay with that?"

A million answers blow through your mind - love, compartmentalisation, hypocrisy - but none feel right. There's no way for you to justify this to Felix, at least, not one that would make him happy, make him understand.

"Our Oliver-" but as he's standing, he cuts himself off, shaking his head, "Your Oliver -" but the words get stuck in his throat. After a beat, he scrubs his face over his hands, "I just don't understand," far calmer, he lets out a deep breath and continues, "how you got over this so fast," but before you can answer, his eyes open, and there's no fire, nor fury, just hurt; "and I need you right now, but not if you're going to be like this."

Oh, you're going to be sick.

It's apologies that spew out of you, nervous, still only half ready, and regretting every word that made Felix look at you like that. He tries awkwardly to tell you that it's not that bad, that he just wishes it felt like you were on his team. Insisting that you are gets you a weak smile from your best friend, but he still leaves seeming unconvinced.

There are voices outside, on the grounds. The party has begun, the sun will be set soon.

Half of your costume hangs up beside Felix's, your elegant, green gossamer robe shining next to the matching, gold gossamer pirate shirt that you had made for Felix. Neither leave the wardrobe, and perhaps you are underdressed in what was basically a set of incredibly ornate, bejewelled, and bedazzled lingerie, and boots, but you couldn't even bring yourself to care.

Perhaps, you consider, if Felix had blown up before you'd gotten this much on, you'd be as dressed down as he was for the event.

Before you leave, however, you go to double check yourself in the mirror, and don't think to knock. Oliver catches sight of you in the mirror before you properly realise he's there. Both freeze, both deer trapped in each other's proverbial headlights. Both with red-rimmed eyes. You wonder if he knows, if he waited with baited breath and an ear pressed to the bedroom door as Felix tore him down and you immediately gave him up to keep your best friend happy.

"You look like a dream," Oliver's voice is hoarse, and he turns to properly face you, to give your costume a generous look over, "merry wanderer of the night," he offers, meeting your gaze again. The line, pulled straight from the play upon which the whole night was based, was one you'd gleefully recounted to him when you told him you would be going as Puck.

There's a slight, sad smile on his lips, a shyness to the way he leans against the counter, but none of the awkwardness he carries around others. There, in his boxers alone, you realise how vulnerable he truly is in this moment, the moment you've so callously interrupted. But Oliver doesn't call you out, nor does he shy away from your gaze.

All words have escaped you in this moment, however. Even the idea of Felix's reaction to his moment makes you feel ill, but part of your heart still breaks for Oliver, for this boy so overwhelmed with love that he would do anything for it.

"I can go," Oliver says softly, apologetically, when you seem frozen even still. It breaks you out, however, and you shake your head vigorously.

"No, its okay Ollie."

"Your," he says slowly, pointedly, "Ollie." He'd heard. Fuck; how much? "I heard all of it," he admits slowly, approaching you. This time, you are the wild animal, cornered in the bathroom. Oliver doesn't look at you like prey, he doesn't approach you like a predator; he doesn't want to spook you, "I didn't mean to get between you and Felix," his voice is soft, and he sniffles a little, but tries to smile through it, "ever; back at Oxford, over Summer, ever."

But you can't bring yourself to look at him. Gently, you loop a finger through the fine, silver chain around his throat, keeping your gaze focused on it without ever tugging it too hard.

"I'm trying," you whisper, voice watery despite your best effort, tears gathering in your eyes, "but I -"

Oliver pulls you into a hug as the damn finally bursts, and the tension, the pressure of the day that had already been pressing down upon you finally breaks. Oliver lets you cry on his shoulder, petting your hair gently.

"But you're a good dog," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple, and you're too distraught to catch the echoes of resentment in his tone.

"It's all I know how to be!"

"I know, pet, I know."

Once you've calmed down, you apologise for your outburst, for having him comfort you at a time like this. There's something different about him, about his smile, the look in his eyes, as he just assures you that it's fine, that he's going to still try and enjoy his night.

After cleaning yourself up and fixing your makeup, finally you make it downstairs. There's more people on the first floor than you'd been expecting, so you have to worm your way through the crowd to search for Felix.

"My gentle puck, come hither!" Felix voice rises through the crowd; if your ears could prick up, they probably would. Just the brightness in his voice lifts you from your melancholy, and when you finally reach him you're beaming.

And he's already drunk.

Which you would like to be too. As if anticipating your requests, he puts two fruity looking drinks in your hands, and picks up another two with a wide smile. You trot along behind him as he cuts a path through the crowd towards the sofas where your friends from Oxford had found themselves. A cheer rises when they see you, all glad for your company, all desperate to hear how your Summer had been so far.

At first, you're simply sitting on the arm of the sofa, beside Felix, bright and animatedly engaging in conversation with the others. Felix finishes his first drink and his arm goes around India, tucked up against his other side, but as soon as his second drink is finished, and you've leaned across him to put your own empty cup on the coffee table between you all, he uses it as an excuse to pull you into his lap.

"Felix," India says when she means what the fuck are you playing at right now? Felix gives a surprisingly cold smile, his hand slipping from her shoulder, moving lower to grip her side rather possessively. You simply wait, ready to move at a moment's notice.

"What?" There's something biting in Felix's voice, something that sounds so uncharacteristically mean as he raises his voice enough for the group to hear, "aren't you all still deluding yourselves about me and Y/N? Don't you still think we're related - or whatever it was Farleigh told you all?" Immediately the tension in your little circle of friends spikes. Felix's hand is practically between your thighs, gripping your thigh like he owns you. In any other circumstance you'd probably enjoy this, but every single one of your friends is suddenly looking at you like they'd never seen you before.

"You hot people disgust me," India finally breaks the tension flippantly, and everyone else cackles with laughter. Felix does actually grin at her, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"No we don't," he teases gently, and India tries to continue playing at being annoyed, by insisting that she needs something stronger than the bar could offer. As she stands, she looks back, holding out her hands to you and Felix.

"Come on, disgusting hot people; I know you're both already high and probably want some more."

"Knew there was a reason I liked you, India," you grinned, glad to have escaped that encounter without much of a mental or physical scratch, though Felix does make a point of grabbing your ass as you stand, even with India holding his other hand.

However you're another line deep in the bathroom, with India, Felix, and two of the others who'd followed along, when that good mood evaporates. Oliver stands in the door, waiting, watching; you're the first to notice him, to catch his gaze properly, but all he does is clear his throat. Felix looks to him when Oliver finally calls his name, but pointedly acts like he doesn't in the next moment.

"Can I, er, talk to you for one second?" Oliver asks faintly, but is met with no response. Instead of looking at Oliver, Felix momentarily flicks a frustrated gaze at you, like he feels your sudden discomfort and fidgeting is a personal betrayal, "you can't ignore me forever," Oliver tries, but Felix gives him a cold smile.

"I can try."

"Fi," you hissed, but all you get is another glare.

"Felix, we need to talk," Oliver was begging now, but he turned his attention to you, pleading, "can you get him to please listen to me, just for a moment -" but his words have your heart freezing in your chest. You can't even stutter Felix's name out before he's dismissing you both.

"I tried being nice about this," Felix huffed, "but if you're still insisting on playing Devil's Advocate for him, the both of you can fuck off and go bother the rest of the party." He relights his cigarette, but he doesn't even look at you once. One more time you try, reaching out, apology on your tongue, but he shrugs you off and finally gives a cutting look, "no I told you, okay? You're over it; fucking great for you. I'm not, and I don't have to be, so piss off and be over it away from me."

You stand, momentarily unsteady on your feet before you regain your balance and head to the door. Everything in your mind is a mess of emotions. The drugs and alcohol are sending you into overdrive, though neither is the reason you're feeling so sick. Still, while you know where Felix is coming from, one look at Oliver as you reach the door and you can't help but stop. Turning back, you hope Felix can read how damn hurt you are by all this;

"I'm not a monster for having a heart, Felix."

And you take some small victory from the surprise in his eyes. Before he can respond, however, you grab Oliver's hand and lead him away.

With another two fruity drinks, you and Oliver sit on the edge of the fountain outside, watching the revelry, mirroring each other's weary slump.

"How are you finding your birthday party?" You asked lamely after a few minutes. Oliver took a few moments to deliberate, while you sipped down your drink quite quickly.

"Don't know anyone," he says mildly, "and the people I do know think I'm a joke -" right, he'd heard Felix's earlier comments about the group from Oxford's feelings, "and I was aware kind of from the start of knowing youse," he casts his gaze to you now, turning to you, eyes meeting yours, "that my two best friends were bonded like those cats at the shelter, the kind you can't separate from each other or they'll cry all day and refuse to eat until you put them back together," the smile he gives you is humourless, and doesn't even reach his eyes, "but one hates me and the other has no spine," he shrugged like he hadn't just insulted you, going back to people-watching, "so I don't think it'll go down as my best birthday ever."

"I have a spine," you scowled, as if straightening your posture proved his point at all.

"Why? You don't need it," still as mild as before, Oliver takes a long, loud sip of his drink, "you've got Felix."

"I'm trying to help you, Oliver, I swear -"

"You don't know how to stand up for yourself, Y/N," this time, the look that he gives you is simply pitying, "I'm sorry I asked you to try and stand up for me." The words ache like a punch to the gut, "you're not even trying to help me for me, or for how much you supposedly love me; you love that I love Felix."

"Oliver, I love you!" You insisted through angry tears and gritted teeth, "how your mind works, how you figure things out, the books you like, the way you're constantly watching and cataloguing and remembering, it shows you care about the world around you and the people in it. I love that you're obsessive and ambitious and that you can be ruthless -" it comes out messy and unrehearsed, but you slowly see the shock and genuine awe on Oliver's face as he comes to terms with the fact that you're being genuine. For the first time all evening, you think you see guilt in his eyes. It's gone too fast, Oliver turning away.

"I love you too," he says gently, following it carefully with, "but we both know who you crawl into bed with at the end of every night." Then, under his breath, sounding so forlorn, "do not separate."

"Oliver-" but he stands, stretches, and finishes off his beer.

"He's probably already missing you, waiting to forgive you," he puts his empty beer bottle down on the edge of the fountain, and for just a moment, he reaches out and gently holds your face. Nothing is said, but there's endless, unreadable emotions in his eyes as he gazes into yours.

Then he's gone.

Making your way back to the estate itself, you forgo looking for Felix, half ashamed of the idea that Oliver was right, and instead slip beneath the velvet rope that cordoned off the upper floors of the house. Back in your bedroom, the stash of coke Felix had raided before the party was still reasonably well stocked, and the bottle of bourbon that you'd stashed in the broken piano last Christmas was thankfully untouched. There was something seriously sad, you think to yourself, about drinking and snorting alone in your room, upstairs from a party where you know your friends are all doing it too. But you don't want to see them. Don't want to see anyone.

The remainder of yours and Felix's matching outfits taunt you silently from the closet door on which they hang. They're beautiful and vapid and cold; you hate them.

"Oh, sorry, didn't realise you were -" it's Felix at the door - of course it is, who else would it be? - who startles you out of your thoughts. There's no frustration in his eyes anymore, no anger, just surprise. His gaze roams over you, from the drugs balanced on your knee to the half-full bottle cradled in your lap, "you okay?" Oliver's right, of course. Oliver's right about a lot of things.

"Yeah," you sniffle, taking another swig of the drink, "what did you need?"

"Think they're gonna sing happy birthday to Ollie soon," Felix leans against the doorframe. You share in an awkward silence for a long moment.

"That why you're here?"

"I came up to see if there was any of that coke left from before," he says, looking at the mirror on your knee and the still mostly full baggie on the bed next to you. Then, he gives a sheepish little grin, "yeah," he admits.

"We should be down there," you say without thinking. Felix's expression falls, and he kicks at the doorframe for a moment, "you do care about his family," spills from you; you're not even sure from where. Felix's expression grows darker.

"Why are you so insistent about doing this?"

"Because you love him, Felix," you remind him firmly, before putting down the bottle and rolling up the already significantly curved bill beside you, "and he loves you, and you know that," picking up the mirror, you make short work of the last line to avoid looking at Felix. Dragging your finger across the glass, you pick up the last of the residue, wiping it on your gums. Your hands remain busy as you pack the remainder of it all into the little, wooden box it was kept in, as you spoke, "you hate the parts of you he figured out, the buttons he learned how to push; Oliver," you snapped the box shut, looking up at him, "was too good to be true, and that's why you're hurt; you're scared it's like Eddie all over again, too good to be true -"

"You shut up about Eddie -" Felix warned, but you stood, box in hand, approaching him with a fierce, intoxicated determination.

"Eddie was never too good, you were just in love! Eddie wasn't even loyal!" You cried, shoving him with the box, letting out a desperate sentiment that you'd let fester in the darkest part of your heart for over a year, "he was never going to be loyal! He never loved you as much as you loved him! Never! And you were so blinded by how happy he seemed to be with this 'better life' you were offering him, you could never bloody see it -"

"You are drunk and high," Felix spits at you, clearly holding himself back from tears.

"But all I ever want is you to be happy," hanging your head, you push the box into his grip and stumble back to the bed, searching for the bottle, "why can't you trust me about this?"

"Oliver fucking lie to me, betrayed me -"

"Us!" You shouted, unscrewing the lid with vigour, "to keep you in his life. You just don't like what the lies he used to keep you around say about you." And with that you furiously started chugging more of the drink.

"I'm done with you," Felix's voice is weak, hands coming up to cover his face. Lowering the bottle, all you can do is stare at him. It's like you've been splashed with ice water.

"Fi -"

"I need space; I need you out of my room for the rest of Summer."

"Fi, please -"

"I thought you were fucking better than this!" He snapped, finally stalking away, while you were too disorientated to even go after him.

The first thing you manage to do is stumble to the bathroom and throw your guts up into the sink. Physically you feel a bit better, but the nausea you can now tell is psychological. Downstairs, though you don't know how much time has passed, the house has transformed itself into a rave. Too bright. Too hot. Too sticky. You think you catch sight of Ollie, but your gaze quickly moves to Felix, silhouetted by neon and haze, looking like an angel. Beside him, India sparkles and giggles and her hands are all over him. You want him to be happy, you don't want to interrupt but you have to -

Someone catches you before you faceplant in the middle of the dancefloor, and it turns out it is Oliver.

"You look like a bit of a mess," he says, aiming for a light, joking tone, but it almost sets you off. Seeing you about to start crying, Oliver starts to panic, and suggests the two of you get some air. Though you want to protest, you see Felix and India, hand in hand, making their way to the side doors. Oliver, champagne in one hand, has his other arm under yours, supporting you as the two of you made your way out too.

The night air is cool, a sharp contrast from inside, so sharp it almost stings.

"I should'a kept my mouth shut," you whimpered, "I didn't need a spine, why did I listen to you?" Oliver is simply quiet, listening to you ramble, getting the gist of what had happened between you and Felix as you slowly made your way to the maze.

"I don't wanna go in," you whispered at the entrance, looking down it's tall, green corridor. Oliver looked at you strangely.

"Worried you'll get lost?"

"I could never get lost, Felix made sure of that plenty of times." Carefully, you extract yourself from Oliver, sitting cross-legged by the entrance of the maze, looking out over the rest of Saltburn with your back to the hedges; Oliver watches you curiously, "I can wait for Fi here."

"I can't wait," Oliver finally says, "I don't have the time. I have to try."

You, surprisingly serene and content with your decision, more at peace than you'd been during the entire walk over, make no attempt to stop him. You just tell him you'll be here when he gets back. This time you genuinely smile, insisting he go in without you.

"I'll be here, I promise; I'll wait."

So he goes, and you listen to his footsteps retreating. After a few minutes, however, he returns.

"I think you need this more than I do," and he hands you the bottle of champagne he'd been carrying. Turns out there's only really a quarter of the bottle left, but at least you think it won't be enough to make you sick again.

As frustrated as Felix could get, he's never not forgiven you. That's all you can think about as you finish off the bottle.

You would apologise. You would make it up to him. You could make this better again.

Except...

Hang on, wait, who was that who just ran out of the maze? Someone ran out of the maze? You were pretty sure someone did anyways... maybe India, if Oliver had confronted -

Oliver is the second to escape the maze. Instead of heading directly back, he waits, unseen for Felix to leave, observing the way he'd stumble out, not even glancing around enough to see you on the ground in the shadow of the maze itself. Once he was sure he was alone, Oliver crept over to your catatonic body, mouth agape, bottle still clutched but empty in one hand. Still breathing, though it was shallow, he checked your pulse only to feel a heartrate like a humming bird. If he called out now, Felix could hear him, could get help, could save your life.

But Felix would want for nothing as long as he had you by his side.

When you start convulsing, Oliver leaps away, startled. But he watches, and remains quiet. He takes the bottle, and just for a moment presses his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry," it almost gets caught in his throat, "I loved you, I promise I did."

And he leaves.

Oliver wakes to a knock on the door. While Felix doesn't exactly seem happy to see him, it appears he has bigger things to worry about.

"Is Y/N in here?" He cuts right to the chase; there's dark circles under his eyes.

"Have you gotten any sleep?" Oliver yawns. Felix shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

"I've checked literally every other room in this house," ignoring him, Felix explains himself, "I told them last night I wanted them to stay somewhere else, but I didn't mean it," he frowns, peering around Oliver as best he could, trying to see for himself. Oliver, who already knew this, but still played dumb, went wide-eyed.

"You didn't talk to them last night?"

"I was talking to them a lot last night -"

"They were waiting outside the maze for you; they were there when I left."

Oliver's never seen Felix run so fast.

It takes Duncan informing the rest of the family over breakfast that a gardener has spotted Felix sat by the edge of the maze for the past hour, to clear up his whereabouts.

"And have you heard from Y/N?" Elspeth adds, though Venetia buts in.

"Probably at the maze with Felix," she rolls her eyes; Oliver looks at his eggs, his runny, sickening eggs, and keeps his mouth shut. Elspeth sighs and requests someone go and collect them, tell them that lunch is ready, and promptly directs a smile at Oliver, asking how he'd enjoyed his birthday.

Oliver's halfway through an awkward thanks, assuring her it was grand, before Duncan re-enters. For the first time since Oliver first laid eyes on him, he looks genuinely shaken.

"I, uh, I do apologise," his words keep getting caught, and he can't seem to focus his gaze for too long, "I have some tragic news; Captain Y/N has passed away."

The world stops.

Felix Catton sits in the shadow of the hedge maze with you, his best friend, the love of his life, dead in his arms.

"I thought you were fucking better than this!"

His last words to you echo endlessly in his head as he cradles you to him. He'd found you slumped over at a painful angle, clearly having been sitting cross-legged on the grass, waiting, just as Oliver had said, still wearing part of the outfit you'd prepared. You looked so cold, so he'd wrapped you up in the robe he'd been wearing, maroon; you'd always said it was your favourite of his, but you'd never wear it, said it looked better on him.

"Can't believe I made you wait," it wasn't the first time he'd muttered it since finding you, "I'm so sorry, I won't do it again," he assured, and leaned in, pressing his forehead to your cold shoulder and collarbone, "and I didn't mean it about needing space from you; I couldn't even do it for one night, I got so lonely I spent the entire night searching all hundred and bloody something rooms we have, for you."

"Felix?" Venetia's voice is the first one he's heard since Oliver's, and it shakes, "Feef?" And maybe it's the way he can tell she's started crying, or the nickname he hasn't heard since he was six, but it all hits him at once. Finally he starts to cry, the shock giving way to anguish as Venetia drapes herself over him at the sight of you. Farleigh goes into shock, silent, falling to his knees before he brings his head down too, completely shutting down.

Oliver doesn't know how to react, doesn't know if he can. He stands back from the others, back from even James and Elspeth, silent. He did what he had to do. It takes him a long time to realise he's even started crying too.

Elspeth and Sir James try to keep up a sense of normalcy around the house, but barely anyone is able to keep up. Farleigh and Venetia show up and barely speak, Oliver can't bring himself to even look at anyone at the dining table, and Felix hasn't shown up for three days straight. He's been locked in his room, and none of them blame him.

None of the others know that he comes out at night. Well, he opens the door during the day since the staff have started leaving plates of food for him at his mother's request. But during the night, Felix leaves his room to crawl into Oliver's bed. Oliver never makes comments, but he always makes room, and Felix still hasn't kicked him out of the house. Small steps to victory.

"All those lies, all that shit you told us, you did it because you'd do anything to keep us around," on the third night, Felix speaks into the darkness, back to Oliver under the expensive sheets.

"To keep you around," Oliver corrected quietly, "I knew as long as I had you around, I would have them too." After a few moments, he could hear Felix start to sniffle. Carefully, testing his luck, Oliver shuffled around to face Felix. Wriggling closer, he draped an arm over Felix's chest and pulled him close, pressing himself against Felix's back. In the moment, Felix takes Oliver's hand and laces their fingers together.

"They always loved you, Felix; I never saw anything like it."

Small steps to victory.

At your funeral, Felix finally sees your parents. He wonders if looking at them is anything like looking at the idea of who you would have grown into. He doesn't think so; their expressions are so cold beneath their performance of grief.

They do, however, seek him out, ask his name, and hand him a framed photo. They say they won't be needed it anymore. It's you and Felix beneath the Eiffel Tower, arms around each other, each of you using your free hand to together form a heart between you, laughing at something just off camera. Oliver makes a disdainful remark about your parents, but slips his hand in Felix's, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

Elspeth asks if Felix wants to keep the photo in his room, and when he remarks that he doesn't know, she suggests it gets placed with the other family photos over the fireplace in the television room. It fits in perfectly.

"I love you," Felix mumbles in the dead of night, pressed up along Oliver's back, lips in his hair, arm around him, "like proper love you." Oliver is quiet, "the kind of love I've been wanting to tell you for a while, but now I'm terrified that the reasons I love you aren't even real."

It's been a few weeks, he's intergraded back into life at home, but has taken a leave of absence from Oxford. As has Oliver. He still hasn't left Saltburn, he wonders if he ever will, if he ever has to.

"What parts?" Oliver said, voice barely more than a whisper, "I'll never lie to you again; I want you to know the truth of me." There's a rush of electricity, his fingers and toes feel all tingly; he doesn't want to sound too enthusiastic, but can't help but feel a giddy rush.

"I like how you can figure heaps of stuff out, but," Felix hesitates and hums, "I don't think I like what you figured out about me," he admits.

"I'll never bring that up again," Oliver reassures him, but Felix just hums once more, "and I figured out more stuff about you, good stuff; I figured out what made me love you too."

Felix presses a kiss to the back of his head. He doesn't smile, but that's to be expected nowadays. Felix doesn't really smile a lot anymore.

But Oliver takes it for what it is; his victory.

{ epilogue }