#i like the au in this mv a lot though like not as much as no doubt (crushes no doubt ykmm like a stress ball) but | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anyamaris · 1 year ago

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Title-Golden Hour

Word Count-2273

Summary-You have no idea how you got here, and the people you encounter aren't helping. It's time for you to remember what they said.

Trope-Ateez lore au

Pairing-Lost!F!Reader x Ateez (Lore based au Ateez)

Warnings-None really, it's a little unhinged in a weird ass way. Mentions of drinking. Memory loss, lots of chickens. A cock to the face.

A/N-So I wanted to go completely off the rails and explore some of the fun of the mv as well as Ateez lore. I'm planning on exploring each member in upcoming fics based in this. This is just the intro!

Dedicated to @sanjoongie because you let me scream about this and support my unhinged ideas. I hope this helps to get you excited, don't worry. Bandit San is coming.

A huge thank you to @frenchkisstheabyss for beta reading it and supporting my insanity, I love you so much, hyung.

The song playing during the dance is Blind off the new album.

Tags- @cultofdionysusnet @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @yoonguurt @shinestarhwaa @stardragongalaxy @kpop-stories-21 @starlitmark@millennial-fangirl @ericssmile @wooahaeproductions@changbinslovelylegs @yeosxxx @millennial-fangirl @starillusion13 @duchesskaren @minki-moo @woosanbby

@cafekitsune Thank you for banners and dividers! 🤍💜🤍

“Golden hour

The brightest moments in life

Those moments are like quick flashes

And never come back”

You’d been driving along this dusty road since before dawn, miles of desolate desert stretching behind you.

Blinking, you try to clear your head, the only memory you had were those softly spoken words and an almost hypnotizing hum bouncing around in your exhausted mind.

Then everything was static.

Wiping the sweat from your brow, you shield your eyes from the hot noonday sun.

Your old, reliable car was smoking behind you, the hiss of whatever had caused your breakdown filling the air.

Distant outcroppings of rock terrain are all that greet your eye beyond the rusted old buildings surrounding you.

The faint repetition of pickaxes echo through the open area as you survey where you’ve been stranded, the tings and clinks setting an almost eerie soundtrack for your current predicament.

Where in the world am I?

Turning to look towards the run down motel, you manage to catch a glimpse of some cowboy hats bobbing in conversation.

It must be nice to be drinking this early, you muse, studying the three figures in chairs gathered around a small table, the crystal of their whiskey glasses reflecting the sun's harsh rays.

A bell rings and your attention is drawn to a tiny building with a red door surrounded by green.

Is that…a diner?

Your stomach grumbles in response, causing you to take a step towards the sudden aroma of chicken hanging in the air.

It didn’t appear that anyone was at the gas station at the moment, though the sign proclaimed “mechanic on duty.”

Your stomach growls at you once more, and you decide that you can inquire inside the diner while you appease your appetite.

Walking towards the impossibly small building, the chime of a bicycle startles you and you leap out of the way as a pack of people ride by.

Not one of them looks back at you, but for some reason you feel as if each and every pair of eyes are on you.

You swear you didn’t even see his face, but you can almost picture the blonde man leading them with the beret grinning maniacally at you.

Hongjoong, a voice your own and not your own ping pongs around your brain.

Remember what I said.

A soft giggle echoes in your mind, tickling more than just your aural senses.

It’s as if you can feel that laughter under your very skin.

Trying your best to ignore the creeping confusion teasing at the edges of your mind, you step forward to push open the red doors.

The man behind the counter wearing a trucker hat turns to study you as you enter, tilting his head as he narrows his dark eyes.

His name tag reads, ‘Yunho’.

You glance away as you take in the inside of the diner, walls lined with gold albums, one L-shaped counter taking up the majority of the space.

There are other diners in colorful, flashy clothing seated on the red stools as your empty stomach gives another howl of protest.

Blushing at the embarrassingly loud noise, you nod your head to the other customers as they turn to eye you.

The tall man in the hat’s expression changes at the sound, tapping his spatula in his palm.

“Sounds like you could use a bite to eat.”

His blinding smile seems to take up your entire vision and suddenly you’re pushing open the red doors once more.

“Remember what I said!”

Your brow furrows, turning to see the cook waving to you as you leave.

Remember…?

Your memory is only filled with the buzz of static as you try to recall anything that happened after you entered the building.

Frowning, you realize you’re no longer hungry; your stomach is full and you can only scratch your head in confusion as you bid the strange man goodbye.

Yunho.

At least you recall something from the hazy lunch.

Glancing across the way, you notice that your car is no longer where you left it.

Instead, it’s on the side of the building, and the form of a man moves around inside of the building as the blue ‘ice cold’ sign flickers.

When did I move my car? You wonder, somehow knowing it’s being taken care of.

Rubbing your eyes, a sudden weariness takes over as you plod over to the run down motel, figuring it’s best to at least find out if there are lodgings.

The three men who were drinking before you entered the diner are nowhere to be seen as the old motel sign creaks and groans above you.

Entering the dilapidated building, you notice the silhouette of a man at the desk, his chair squeaking as he turns to glance at you in surprise.

As he opens his mouth, a rooster flies into your face with a flurry of feathers, causing you to reel backwards.

Landing on your ass, you find yourself in front of a motel room door, white chickens grazing around you as you ponder what the hell just happened.

“If you need anything, I’ll be around. And remember what I said.” a deep, velvet voice says, and you turn to watch the man who was in the office saunter back into the rusted main building.

Yeosang.

His name is all you can summon from the strange black hole of your mind, recalling the plaque on the desk that told you as much.

Looking down at the golden key in your hand, you just chalk your fuzzy memory up to exhaustion, slipping the key into the lock.

Before you can enter the room, you freeze as a man in a white suit and hat slowly strides towards the gas station.

Is he riding an ostrich?

He raises his a red lollipop to you, winking as if to say-

Remember what I said.

Seonghwa.

The moment you think it, he nods and turns to continue on, yet there’s no recollection of meeting him before.

Massaging your temples, you enter the small room, collapsing immediately upon the bed.

Remember what?

Why does everyone keep saying that?

Why do you know these random names but can’t recall any interactions?

It’s like you’re losing time here.

Maybe this is all a dream…

Before you can even open your heavy eyelids, you can hear music coming from the old television set on the dresser.

“All you need to do is remember what I-”

“Said.” you mutter, peeking an eye to glance at the screen.

The form of a purple clad man in a top hat with a cane beams back at you, looking almost satisfied that you finished his sentence.

Mingi.

It’s strange how you keep recalling these strangers' names, yet somehow…

You don’t even remember your own.

Rising from the strangely comfortable mattress, you finally glance around the room you’ve been sleeping in.

More framed albums, posters of random music shows, awards and accolades fill the walls.

Slipping your legs off the bed, you find yourself stepping on the litter of dollar bills all over the floor.

Frowning, you lean down to pick one up, rubbing your fingertips over the paper to see if it’s real.

This place is insane and you can’t help but feel like you’ve fallen down some kind of crazy rabbit hole.

Chicken hole, you think, eyeing a white chicken as it struts out of the bathroom, clucking at you happily.

Music plays from the television, drawing your attention to the spectacle of a man in a blue suit, with a red flower on his lapel.

A mariachi band plays in the background as he bows, looking up at the screen to give you a sassy little smirk.

“Tonight, we dance til the sunrise! Remember what I said.” He proclaims, causing you to flop back on the bed.

Wooyoung.

STOP IT!

Soft laughter fills your head as you glance over at the screen, a wanted poster of a man with a mask in all black on the screen.

“Have you seen the Masked Bandit? Call 1018-1117!”

That’s not even a real number, you think.

Opening the door to go back outside, another commercial plays before you can shut the door.

“Don’t be like Jongho-remember what we said-”

Static overtakes your mind, and suddenly you’re outside, chickens pecking the ground at your feet.

The sun is dipping below the horizon, and you hear the loud laughter of a large mass of people in the distance.

A large red brick building looms and you can see some colorful banners as if decorated for a party.

Was that here earlier?

Following the sounds of music, you suddenly hear the loud roar of car engines and you rush over to see what is going on.

Cash litters the ground even out here, and your foggy brain starts to register more of your environment.

Dollar bills are being used as banners, hanging in windows, and thrown all over the ground like confetti.

As the sun sets, you approach the peculiar celebration going on, eyes wide at the sight of the colorful outfits, the loud music playing, the vast array of curious eyes as the turn to take in your arrival.

“You came.” A voice says, the hand on your back gentle yet firm as it guides you towards where everyone is gathered.

“San?” you ask, shocked that his name came out before you even thought about it.

The man in the black hat and vest grins at you in delight, dimples peeking out as he gives you a single nod.

Before you realize what’s happening, the sky is darkening and the blaze of a fire is lighting up the night.

Music seems to come from everywhere and nowhere as you turn in circles, the beat of the song coursing through your very bones.

Yeah, it spreads when I see you, fire

The sound of an accordion playing catches you off guard, and you notice the song is in so many different languages yet you seem to understand everything.

All you can interpret is the red moon rising, the blaze of the fire as the beat takes over.

Before you can take another breath, you’re being spun around into someone’s arms.

You barely sense the bodies writhing around you, compelled to sway your hips and get swept away with the atmosphere.

I feel an unbearable thirst, crazy

It’s as if you’re in a fever dream as you take in the gleaming eyes of the man holding you in his arms, his blonde hair tinged with red as you hear his delighted giggle.

I'll whisper to you until the sun rises, singing

You blink and suddenly your hand is in the man in the blue suit’s, as he twirls you around happily.

Dance just for you tonight, follow, follow

Another blink, a set of strong hands holding your hips, swaying them as he holds you close, his deep voice singing along to the song.

Singing only to you.

I'm tickled, I'm going to cut off all the perfect lines, babe

The man in the top hat and cane is dipping you, whispering yet another line,

Come closer, come dance with me-

Your hands are in the long, dark tendrils of a man with big doe eyes, his tongue darting out as he mouths the next line.

I know you want to, let’s dance

Strong arms pick you up and swing you around, a delighted laugh escaping your throat as you lose yourself to this fever dream.

His angelic voice rings in your mind, whisking you away to another world-

Until the break of dawn

My love I'll sing for you all night

A tall man yanks you to him, his large hands splayed over your lower back as he guides you through steps you shouldn’t know, yet you move confidently with him.

Matching steps under the moonlight, cha-cha-cha

Feel my heart getting hot, pam-pam-pam

Your hands meet the bare skin of a chiseled chest, the now familiar dimples greeting you as he grips your hips to sway in time with the music.

Over and over, you’re spun around, with each breath, a new face greets you, until you’re looping back around.

You’re becoming almost familiar with them each as you feel them draw you deeper into their forbidden dance.

Hongjoong, Wooyoung, Yeosang, Mingi, Seonghwa, Jongho, Yunho, San….

Over and over they blur in and out of your vision until the chorus builds and their voices combine gloriously, hypnotizing you;

Dance tonight, in this burning night

Queen of the night, star of my eyes

Wake me up with your gaze

Take my soul, take my heart, love is blind

Take my soul, take my heart, love is blind; Let's go

The night sky gleams golden as the edges of your vision start to fuzz, many sets of arms assuring you that you won’t fall as the world goes black.

The heat of the sun beats down upon you, the clucking of chickens invading your sleep hazed mind.

Holding your hand over your eyes to shield them, you look up at the men standing above you.

They're dressed much differently than the previous night, and you sit up slowly, wondering what happened.

Clad in wide brimmed work hats, shovels and pickaxes in hand, the maniacal eyes of the blonde man meet yours as he kneels beside you.

“Come on, love.” he says, his voice dancing as he tucks a tendril of hair behind your ear.

The sound of a clarinet fills the air as a distant rooster crows.

“What…where are we going?” You ask him, looking around at the eyes studying you.

“Gotta work.”

#cultofdionysusnet #ateez au #ateez lore au #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #Ateez work au #Ateez golden hour au

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moonfurthetemmie · 2 months ago

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I was tossing @shroudedinsilver's Fell!SwapDream hi silver around and started wondering what a fell swapdream would be like if it followed the entirely arbitrary rules me and wheeze had made up for fell AUs.

Specifically, the true villain(s) of the original becomes the only genuinely nice one(s). or at least, they try to be nice.

Just to be clear, this isn't supposed to be a 'better' or 'more correct' Fell!SD. I'm playing with the barbies and looking at it at a different angle. i love rahab and venom and it'd be obnoxiously pretentious to think i, who only knows Swapdream lore from second-hand sources, could do a "better" Fell!SD that Silver, who actually interacted with the source material. Also have you met rahab and venom

But. I have some half-baked story and some slightly more baked idiots

I don't have a proper name for the AU yet. and I can't call it Fell!Swapdream because that's obviously already taken. i guess i could call it Swapfell dreamtale. but that sounds weird to me. and lets be real, Dreamswap and Swapdream get confused enough; we don't need to also have a Fellswapdream and Swapfelldream

But anyway. here's my new morons. Frenzy (left) and Enmity (right)

An incredibly long time ago, there was a magic tree. You all know how this part of the tale goes.

Frenzy eventually ate the apples. Working on the exact 'why' still

Here, the Magic apples are like normal food, in that they give you lots of energy. But they give it instantly, and they have way more energy than a normal apple. The enormous burst of energy pushes him into a very destructive mania, and it lasts for months. The influx of so much potent magic isn’t helping, either.

He eventually gets it out of his system, and comes to his senses. He’s horrified by what he's done.

Enmity doesn’t really care about the balance, after everything he’s been put through just for his job. But he likes being alive, so he tries to maintain it so the multiverse doesn’t get wrecked and take him with it.

So he'd been following Frenzy around, trying to deal with him with very little idea of how. He mostly got his ass whooped; more out of carelessness than malice on Frenzy's part. That said, it was intentional, once because Enmity wouldn't get out of the way. He's got a lovely scar to show for it now.

He’d been afraid he may have to kill Frenzy to do it. Frenzy, his own brother, who’d been the only person who loved him for their whole lives until the incident.

He was still trying to come to terms with this fact when he found Frenzy, alone, crying incoherently. When Frenzy notices that he's there, he turns around and for the first time in ages, Enmity senses guilt from him. But he looks so relieved to see Enmity. He tells Enmity he has no idea what had gotten into him, why he'd done any of that, and- oh, god. that scar. He did that, didn't he? how could he...?

To say that Enmity is relieved is an understatement. He tosses out any ideas of killing his brother and just does his best to comfort him and tell him it'll be okay. Which isn't very easy when just standing too close makes Enmity's body and soul start burning.

They talk for a bit. Enmity changes the subject from what Frenzy did to some interesting things that he saw during his travels, to distract him and cheer him up. Once Frenzy's calmed down, though, he tells Enmity that he needs to fix this mess he's made. But...how? He's hurt so many people, but the balance is tipped too far to his side--the positive side--and trying to fix the other mess is just going to make people happy...

Enmity has a wonderful idea. And by wonderful i mean he's gonna have lots and lots of fun with it.

They are now traveling their MV, terrorizing the populace. There's much less death and destruction that during Frenzy's initial manic episode, but everyone's misery is slowly, slowly balancing the scales. very slowly. It'll be a long time before it's fully fixed, unless they can create (or maybe even invite) a huge source of negative magic. And Frenzy...as effective as Enmity's plan is, he doesn't want to hurt people more.

but he wants to start a fight with enmity even less.

his brother is all he has. He's already hurt him once. He can't do it again. He can't lose him.

anyway they're having a great time and definitely aren't toxic and codependent. at least they're still close...?

Dream: Frenzy

His real name in-universe is still 'Dream'. 'Frenzy' is the nickname he gets if he has to interact with any other variant of himself.

He still gets that some sort of mania if he’s somewhere very positive, and especially if he has lots of energy, but it’s nowhere near as strong as the first time. He still has some of his wits about him.

He nearly killed his brother in his first manic episode, and will occasionally still seriously hurt—usually out of carelessness, rather than doing it intentionally—during the lesser, infrequent ones he gets now. But he can’t stand the idea of Enmity abandoning him, and when the mania fades he bends over backwards to try to make it up to Enmity.

He will say and promise anything to Enmity to keep him from leaving. He can’t imagine Enmity seriously has forgiven him for what he’s done to him. Unfortunately this also means that, on the exceedingly rare occasions that Enmity seems to be making a friend, he’ll do everything in his power to quietly get rid of them. What if they convince Enmity that he needs to get away from Frenzy…?

He and Enmity can’t touch without it severely hurting Enmity. His aura is honestly too much but he can tone it down some so it’s bearable. He misses being able to hug his brother

Easily spooked, even though he can sense people's emotions and therefore should notice someone approaching before he can even see them. Hard to get him to fight, though; unless it's his brother asking

His left (viewer's right) eye is mostly blind, but he gets along ok for the most part. His depth perception's a little off, though, and...well. windows are a bit of a problem.

His memory is kinda fucked, too. At first he and Enmity thought it was just that he couldn't remember everything that happened when he was in a manic state, but no. his memory is just horrible now

Design notes:

his hair is a little singed. just a tad. it used to be longer, many years ago...

Many scars also; burns and punctures and cuts.

hehe fancy coat

the wings are hawk wings!

His crown should still act like a halo, but heroforge only gives me one kind of halo

Ideally, his wings would be so bright as to be blinding in the second picture. but they're as bright as they can be, and i'd adjusted the first too many times already

His chain weapons can be blunt or bladed. Both have their own strengths. He has to really concentrate to switch without de-summoning them first, so he rarely switches when in a fight. He can't use both at once. They're both present here for illustrative purposes.

His left (viewer's right) eye changes when he's using his magic, or when he's in a manic state. usually both happen at once but not always.

Nightmare: Enmity

His real name in-universe is still 'Nightmare'. 'Enmity' is the nickname he gets if he has to interact with any other variant of himself.

Much as he likes being alive, he hates people. And his idea of fixing the balance is terrorizing the populace. He loves it, and has no idea why Frenzy hesitates.

He always forgives Frenzy for hurting him. Always. It doesn’t matter the circumstances. He wants his brother to be happy enough to stay with him. He's just as terrified of losing his brother as Frenzy is, so he wants to make sure Frenzy knows that Enmity still loves him.

While Frenzy clearly hates it, Enmity has discovered that triggering minor manic episodes is an excellent way to “adjust” the balance. A positive place is no longer positive! Everyone’s upset! Mission accomplished. He makes sure to always tell Frenzy that he’s proud of him afterwards, too.

He hates that he has to leave Frenzy semi-often for his own safety, so Frenzy’s aura doesn’t kill him. He also misses hugs but he doesn’t know just how desperate Frenzy is for physical affection

Hard to unsettle, easy to goad into fighting you.

His vision in his right (viewer's left) eye isn’t completely gone, but it’s not…normal. He’s still not sure what he’s seeing through it, but at least it’s not giving him a headache. As much.

(What he sees are people’s auras; a mix of soul traits and emotions. While monsters don’t have strong or notable traits that differ from each other under normal circumstances, they can still be particularly determined, brave, kind, etc. it’s not terribly useful to him right now, but it’s a result of Frenzy’s magic getting stuck in his eye)

Design notes:

I wanted to imitate one of the reaper poses in FFXIV (the second one shown here, with the spinning scythe) but it's kinda hard to pull off the spinning without actual motion, and I'm not good at implying motion most of the time without like. motion lines

white hair

One big scar on his face, and it’s from Frenzy. This is why his vision's fucky

He still has a scythe, and that seems to scare people the most so he uses it the most. He still has a sword, but it's been so long since he's used it that he usually forgets about it nowadays

Needs to have freedom of movement, so he wears lightweight clothes.

Much like with Frenzy and the original SwaN and SwaD, his eyes change when he's using his magic. His right (viewer's left) is uh...still fucked up. pretty though

that's a ponytail. his hair's not just slicked back

Other notes:

i want them to be able to shift into animals but i want to be silly and do something other than a bird and a snake. that said i have no idea what I'd do

i forgor SwaN's fighting a bunch of corrupted magic in his system. i feel like sticking close to Frenzy is helping Enmity somewhat, but it's probably. not the best option.

enmity's fucked up eye hurts all the time. some days it hurts worse than others, and just how much it hurts is directly caused by how long he's been hanging out around his brother. At best, it causes a dull migraine. At worst, it burns like hell and he can't focus on anything else. The only thing he can do is sit/lay down and rest, away from Frenzy and his aura.

honestly enmity should be having a lot more problems from hanging around frenzy so much but it'll be figured out eventually

probably

If for some reason they end up somewhere and Frenzy is entirely without his magic. one of them is getting carried around. because frenzy's not letting go of enmity. enmity's totally fine with this

neither of them like the other making new friends. they're afraid that said new friends are going to convince the other they're better off without each other; Frenzy's afraid Enmity will be convinced that he should never have trusted Frenzy again after hurting him, and Enmity's afraid Frenzy will be convinced that he shouldn't stick with Enmity if he's pushing Frenzy to do something he doesn't like to do.

they do not realize the other is just as bad as they are about it

they're very protective of each other. but frenzy panics a lot more and if something happens to enmity there's going to be a lot of corpses and ash

#long post #Solacy: Fell!Swapdream #Solacy Frenzy #Solacy Enmity #very hesitant. to post this. but now that frenzy and enmity exist i need to inflict them on other people.#they're screwing each other up and not working through their issues <3 #In their defense though. trying to keep the multiverse from crashing and burning is a pretty big undertaking. and stressful as hell #i'm pretty sure im forgetting some details but im fuckin tired my dudes #i really like how frenzy's eyes and wings came out :]#that coat looks sooo good for him too...ough #Sometimes coming up with character names is super easy! like with Frenzy and Lucidity #and then sometimes it's weeks before names happen #story names are always hard though. hell on earth to come up with one #I gotta admit. i'm not sure how Enmity's outfit ended up being That. when originally SwaN had a hoodie and turtleneck #meanwhile Frenzy's clothes actually kind of looks like SwaD's #i probably should've used blue instead of purple for Enmity but #1. forgor. somehow. even tho i had a ref at one point here #2. he don't need to be in all primary colors

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good-beanswrites · 3 months ago

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With this innocent/guilty spread, how do you think the whole situation would play out?

(Originally from my Songshift/Roleswap AU)

T1:

Guilty: Haruka, Fuuta, Muu, Amane

Innocent: Yuno, Shidou, Mahiru, Kazui, Mikoto, Kotoko

T2:

Guilty: Shidou, Kazui, Mikoto

Innocent: Haruka, Yuno, Fuuta, Muu, Mahiru, Amane, Kotoko

Ooh, I remember that, it was fun!! (Original post here) Thank you for the ask – weirdly enough, I was just thinking about doing something like this, and it was really interesting to figure out! Although I’m sticking with Yamanaka’s structure of three injuries/three deaths, I’m purposefully choosing new victims/relationships/interactions. There could easily be repeats of a lot of canon events, so I’m trying to just focus on new possibilities…) Spoiler alert, we once again arrive at Superhell 😭 Some of the verdicts seemed counterintuitive with the events going on, so just imagine there were Really compelling mvs lol 👍

As soon as she’s forgiven in T1, Mahiru is reaffirmed in her belief that her emotions are just right, and that she should be able to indulge in/share her love. She decides the guilties are going to be her personal rehabilitation project, and that love can save them. John also reacts strongly to being reaffirmed, becoming extra suspicious of everyone now that the Warden has agreed it’s important for him to protect Himself at all costs. It’s mostly Mikoto fronting throughout the trial, unaware that John is preparing himself with weapons/strengthening/planning every now and then.

During the first hiatus, Kotoko would attempt her attacks in the same way: She gets a hold of Haruka unnoticed, leaving him in a terrible state. She arrives at Fuuta’s cell next, but Mahiru has taken him to another room to try and help him. Kotoko ends up attacking Muu next, but Kazui steps in to help. Kotoko makes a final dash to Amane’s cell to attack, but Mikoto steps in after hearing the commotion. Without any of the restraints or being taken by surprise, the fight ends much differently than a draw. He beats Kotoko nearly as badly as she’s been hurting the others before Kazui can separate them.

When T2 begins, Haruka, Muu, and Kotoko are injured. Mahiru throws her whole self into helping Shidou take care of the others. Muu and Haruka look to both of them for care and attention, both becoming very attached. They find peace in it, but the others are put off by the weird little codependent family thing they have going on. Kotoko stays away, insisting she can care for herself and doesn’t want murderers’ help.

Yuno admits she wants nothing to do with the caretaker role, especially since Mahiru’s got things covered. She reacts fairly similarly to canon, though she’s a bit more aimless without having Mahiru’s company. Fuuta is wracked with guilt of his crime from the guilty voices as well as severe survivor’s guilt, thinking he could have protected the others (or at least bought them time) if he’d been in his cell like he should have been. He spends a lot of time with Kazui, admiring the way he heroically stepped into two fights to protect the younger prisoners.

Amane still doubles down on her religious beliefs, but this time it's out of fear. Having stood face-to-face with Kotoko ready to beat her, she saw her life flash before her eyes and believes God saved her from such a close fate. She isolates herself, afraid of everyone who tries to check on her. Mikoto is also constantly on high alert for any threats – he’s strong and focused, but just as stressed and exhausted as a guilty vote could have been.

As T2 comes to a close, Shidou’s treatments stop with his guilty verdict. Haruka and Muu heal thanks to Mahiru’s physical and emotional help, and become vengeful towards Es. They believe that Es tried to get them killed through Kotoko, then guiltied Shidou to finish the job. Some see it as being annoyingly entitled, but others see it as a beautiful change in confidence when the pair start fighting for their life and loudly standing up for themselves.

Seeing how well Mahiru is taking care of things, Yuno continues to openly reject the caretaker responsibilities and keep to herself. Amane sees this as a sign of agreement with her own aversion to medicine, and she clings to Yuno for support (she wanted to lash out against Shidou, but was far too afraid to risk getting hurt.) Being responsible for a child only makes Yuno more upset, and she avoids everyone in the hopes she isn’t bothered. Amane doesn’t pick up on this, and her fears from the previous trial ease a bit.

As good as Mahiru is with treatments, she can’t do anything for patients who refuse it – during the trial, Kotoko doubled down on her avoidance of medical aid when Shidou was named guilty, not wishing to be associated with villains. She ends up succumbing to her injuries and dying, regardless of her forgiveness. Shidou is crushed by this, feeling like he should have paid more attention to her worsening condition and given some tough love when she tried to refuse. He’s plunged into guilt, having complex emotions over the fates of his recent patients.

The event causes an escalating argument between the prisoners, wondering who should have been watching over Kotoko more closely. This time, when Kazui steps in to disagree with Mikoto, his previous trial of preparing for threats and giving in to his temper kick in. He attacks Kazui, and since the restraints only affect one of them, ends up killing him. (John fronts most of the third trial, under the stress of the guilty verdict and also ashamed for taking things too far.) Soon after, Fuuta falls into despair and commits suicide – regardless of the current inno verdict, the immense guilt from the previous trial and combined with his role model Kazui being ripped away are too much to bear.

The only one I couldn’t put my finger on for a solid reaction was Mahiru. I want to say she’d keep up a good attitude – she’d be so proud of Muu and Haruka, and of her own success in healing them. She’d be glad to see Amane feeling better, and encouraging Yuno to remain involved in the group. She’d be disappointed that Kotoko had refused treatment, but not feel personal guilt since it was her decision, right? But at the same time, she’s emotional enough to take all the deaths very personally, and have a hard time staying upbeat through any of them. Especially regarding Fuuta, I think the fact that a man she had cared for through a depression who then committed suicide on her watch again would really mess her up…

So yeah… Superhell 2! :’)))) I just think it’s very interesting looking at the different friendships and enemies that could form 👀 I really wanted to toy around with a different cult recruit, but if anyone, it would have been Haruka (and I didn’t want him to die here too, this time from injury neglect 😭) I actually theorized that Kazui was going to get really hurt in canon T3 because he stepped into a fight like we wanted him to, but it was too much for him to handle, so I was happy to include that here even if it made me Sad ;-; I didn’t detail out exact injuries, but I actually really liked the idea of Muu with the injured eye like Fuuta – something about her always being loved for her appearance, and now she has to come to terms with the fact that she’s not forgiven, not beautiful/pitiable to earn anyone’s sympathy, and needs to find the strength to pull herself out of that.

#milgram #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #kazui mukuhara #amane momose #mikoto kayano #john milgram #kotoko yuzuhira #thank you! This was cool :3 #yeah its crazy - i was actually just thinking about doing a fun game of posting different verdict combos and stuff #but then i remembered there are like a billion permutations and noped out of that asdfsd #this was super fun - though im definitely extra impressed by yamanaka and ocgram runners for keeping track of so much :0 #this was my little play-by-play but if anyone has any suggestions/alternate reactions I'd love to hear them!!#analysis/thoughts #maybe its more au but i dont have an au tag hmm

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dropthedemiurge · 1 month ago

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QL Fic Rec Fest Special: Authors Week

Week 10: Tell us about the fic you wrote for the QL fandom that you're most proud of!

Tagged by @abstractelysium – thank you so much! It was fun to look over my fics and return to read some of them xD

I honestly contemplated for an hour. I've got my SkyRain fics that will forever stay very precious, personal and remarkable in my heart. I've got my "grandiose" ongoing LFLS fic with huge planning and sci-fi AU for Not Me who didn't get much spotlight but I wrote it being my unapologetic engineering self...

But I choose "Boredom is a crime". (Bad Buddy, Korn/Wai) It's short but very meaningful. Because I first learnt about QLs/BLs from SOTUS years ago, loved it, and then took a long hiatus of not watching, not liking anything else on the same level. During that time, I also managed to lose passion for writing and drawing in my other fandom.

But after I watched Bad Buddy, this silly waikorn fic became my first attempt to dive into QL community. I didn't expect much but I got overwhelming feedback and support (despite fic being self-indulgent and not having NC scenes), I found a lot of new people to get to know to and I made my decision to practice writing fics in English from now on. So I wrote fics for almost every series and character that I adored, got into community, started drawing more again, watched many more series and felt free to execute all random ideas in my brain for QLs. (And that fixation on Bad Buddy also made me create animation MV and write long ot4 fic that I'm still uploading from time to time lol)

I can surely say I'm proud of this fic (even though by now I can't say it's amazing) but especially proud of myself at that time.

#and yes i ship waikorn now #qlficrecfest2025 #fanfic #ao3 #bad buddy #bad buddy the series #bbs #waikorn #dropthefanfic #dropthetag #i do have to go back and make fanworks for sotus too cuz i feel like i loved it so much and then created for all next series lol #i think i won't write anything better than skyrain tho - or maybe that lfls ot3 fic if i'm lucky

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1moreff-creator · 2 years ago

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DRDT + Milgram AU: Undercover (Introduction)

Finally succumbed to the Urges and came up with ideas for a full Danganronpa Despair Time - Milgram AU, and now I feel like sharing. This means giving each character a MV + VD concept (not a full VD though I ain’t writing that much dialogue, and not a full MV because who do you think I am), plus this Undercover post! I’m not sure if I’ll commit to this for a full three trials, or I’ll just drop it after just one, but I can guarantee I’ll do this trial in full. Feel free to make analysis posts (no pressure obvs), but also obvs don't expect this to be that good, I'm doing this for fun.

And if you come from the Milgram side, uh... have fun? I am curious about what people with no prior conceptions of these characters would think, but I do recommend DRDT if you haven't watched it (the overlap between the fandoms is non-trivial, I imagine you'll like it). If not, you should probably look up the character designs at least, but be wary that there will be DRDT spoilers.

As an obvious disclaimer just in case, I am not affiliated with either DRDT or Milgram in any way, this is just a fanmade AU done entirely for fun.

Basic Concept

Pretty simple. What if the 16 students of DRDT were prisoners in Milgram? This means they're all "murderers" by some loose definition of the word, implying most of their backstories must be changed to acommodate for that. For the prisoner pairs, I just paired them based on the Chapter 1 recap. The rest is pretty self-explanatory provided you know how Milgram works; three trials, vote Forgiven/Unforgiven, etc. I won't repeat it all here. You can go to the official Milgram YT channel for more information if you're not familiar.

Meet Es

Although they are of unspecified adult age, this universe’s Es is very similar to canon Es from the main series, at least in appearance. The only differences are red highlights in their hair, as well as sharp yellow eyes and taller height. They also wear arm sleeves on both their arms, being particularly adverse to people touching the left one, and their voice is slightly higher pitch. As for their personality… well, you’ll have to wait for the VDs, right? But as a heads up, they’re quite a bit nicer than canon Es, though they can still get pretty strict with the prisoners.

(Can you tell who they’re connected to yet?)

Their uniform is the same as canon, including the band thing which in Milgram runes reads “reciffO eciloP”. The only difference is that their other band thing is longer and has the following runes:

(As a heads up, since there's no rune for 'q' I just used the rune for 'c/k' in its place. You probably don't need to translate it all to know what this says if you're familiar with DRDT lore)

Jackalope is replaced by DRDT canon MonoTV, no big changes to its personality. It still breaks the fourth wall and talks to an audience,which is odd for the prisoners (and Es) seeing as there is no audience in-universe (at least, that's what it claims).

*Es’ VD is mostly the same, besides changes in dialogue caused by the difference in personalities. The only real difference is that there is no ‘extra cell.’

*Cover is still Hibana.

Alright, let's get to the fun stuff.

Undercover

(It is highly recommended you know what the canon Undercover looks like before reading this, since a lot of it is pretty similar)

The opening is still the same minus Es' different appearance and MonoTV replacing Jackalope, and only starts changing when the prisoners begin showing up.

(Don’t- Don’t expect this to actually work as a song btw. I’m not insane enough to make that work)

UNDER Split in between decisions, my conscious is made up of torn stitches

Levi (01) holds a mostly neutral expression as he holds up his prisoner card, which displays his face alongside an image of an alleyway. His pose keeps changing slightly in smash cuts. Levi’s face darkens right before there’s a switch to the next prisoner.

(Note: I won’t mention the pose switching and the face on the card all the time, since that’s part of canon Undercover. Just assume it always repeats)

UNDER The beauty in simplicity, wilting with rising complexities

Arturo (02) has his chin up arrogantly at first, showing a prisoner card with a picture of a bathroom. He scoffs and turns around before the switch.

UNDER A liar? No, that’s wrong! My honesty shines like a star in the night

David (03) (speaker persona) smiles nervously, rubbing at his cheek with a finger. His card shows a bedroom. He covers his face with his free hand, sighing before the switch.

UNDER A sinner? No, you’re kidding! I’m innocent as can be, just don’t mind the gaps

Whit (04) throws a cheeky grin to the camera, doing a finger gun with his free hand. His card shows a park. He nervously rubs the back of his neck before the switch.

(Note: Yes I gave him 04 because of the tetraphobia thing sue me-)

UNDER With a fury and a passion, unstoppable, show them your fangs

Ace (05) snarls at the camera. His card shows a city street. He throws it to the floor angrily before the switch.

(Note: Sometimes I wasn't quite able to tie their talent to their murder, so it's either tangential to their story or has been replaced with something similar. I am mentioning this with Ace for... no reason in particular, sure, you'll believe that)

UNDER Your fears and anxieties, Respond to the stress, show me fight or flight

Nico (06) hides under the part of their cloak which looks like a scarf, peeking out nervously. Their card shows a locker room. They take a step back as the scene switches.

INSERT CHORUS HERE

UNDER Each existence is like no other, Lucky, unlucky, showtime reaches all

J (07) holds up her card with an unsatisfied expression. It shows a bridge surrounded by camera equipment. She rolls her eyes as the scene switches.

UNDER And yet, it’s all the same In the end, this wretched still life goes on

Rose (08) yawns as she holds up her card lazily. It shows a large dining room. The card slips from her hand as she falls asleep.

UNDER It’s too much, too much, I’m high strung, please forgive my sins

Hu (09) looks nervous, glancing around as if to find a place to hide. Her card shows a zither in a non-descript room. She drops her card, and closes her eyes with a pained expression, a hand on her chest.

UNDER Please do condemn me, Bloodletting, the horror inside us is what makes me feel.

Veronika (10) spins and gives the camera a bright smile as she pulls out her card. It shows a rooftop. She throws the card in the air dramatically, laughing as it spins around and falls beside her. Her eyes fall back on the camera, and she smirks menacingly.

UNDER Unopposable, incontestable Merry kings, life’s queens, for me they bow down.

Arei (11) is sticking out her tongue and looking to the side dismissively. Her card shows a bowling alley. She laughs into her hand before the scene switch.

UNDER My weakness haunts me, Alarm bells are ringing, there's no going back.

Eden (12) fidgets with her hands, shaking nervously. She hides her face behind her card as she shows it, but her teary eyes are still visible over it. The card shows a bedroom full of clocks. She cries into her hands before the switch.

INSERT CHORUS HERE

[The music winds down, a bridge of sorts. As it plays, a few scenes are shown, where only the characters’ silhouettes are visible, white noise covering them]

[01: A steaming kettle covers most of the foreground. In the background, Levi is seen sitting at a table, head slumped forward. Most of the table is visible, but no one else is in the frame]

[02: Arturo is seen to the left, holding a white turtle neck shirt in his hands. Behind him, an open suitcase sits on a bed, clothes splayed haphazardly around it]

[03: David stands alone on an empty stage, arms wide out. The spotlights are all on him. The entire stage and some of the front row seats are visible, with David’s silhouette only covering a small part in the center of the frame]

[04: A computer monitor covers almost the entire frame. There are countless photos and words, but they’re all too blurry to see, with the exception of a small message on top which reads “Analyzing profiles…” Whit is reflected on the screen, resting his head on one of his fists]

[05: Ace sits on a motorcycle, looking up and admiring the night sky which takes up most of the frame]

[06: Nico is crouched beside a cat, holding out a pink mouse toy for it to play with. Only their legs are visible, but there is a puddle of water under Nico]

[07: J has her palm spread out all over the screen, as if blocking the camera. There are flashes of light behind her, but the source is impossible to see]

[08: Rose sits slumped in a chair, hands on her face. All around her, dozens of canvases can be seen, painted entirely in black. Small bits of color poke out at the bottom, but no full paintings are visible]

[09: The camera is entirely focused on the top of a zither. Hu’s hand is visible, touching the strings with her plectra]

[10: Only Veronika’s footwear is visible over a dark floor. The rest of the scene is filled entirely by blood]

[11: Arei stands in front of a bathroom mirror. She’s holding the right side of her hair, the only part that’s visible. It looks very unevenly cut]

[12: Eden is holding her head in her hands, slumped over a work desk full of small machinery. Behind her are a multitude of analog clocks of various designs, all showing the same time; 6:00]

[13: Min is sitting on a chair, slumped forward and apparently collapsed over a notebook. A pen sits just beside her right hand. A bit of the writing can be seen, showing this:]

[The brown part being Min's hair. Don't make fun of me I'm using Paint and have zero art skills]

[14: Xander, the focus of the shot, stands in front of a crowd, standing on a simple chair. His fist is in the air, and so are the fists of everyone in the crowd]

[15: Charles is kneeling over a grave, the name on it hidden behind the silhouette. Charles is pulling at his hair with his hands. Other graves are visible around him, but the edges of the screen are darkened and it’s impossible to see them well]

[16: Teruko’s hand is reaching out to a black figure, this one without white noise. The figure is completely non-descript, more a simple shadow than a proper silhouette. Blinding white light surrounds this figure]

UNDER No mistakes, no corrections, 100% Perfection, results shall not vary.

Min (13) wears a neutral expression, and she holds her card perfectly upright. Her pose changes only to match the exact angles actual mugshots use. Her card shows an untidy bedroom. Before the switch, she lowers her hand, and looks briefly to the side, before turning back to the camera. When she does, her left eye flashes magenta behind her hair.

UNDER Fighting for true justice, Stand strong, a reflection of the will of the many

Xander (14) is glaring at the camera, moving his card around flippantly. Said card shows a window overlooking an entire city. Xander throws the card away before throwing a punch at the screen.

UNDER Leave no room to hide, No hesitation, a chain reaction of truth unfolds

Charles (15) looks serious, if a bit annoyed as he holds up his card. It shows a laboratory table with several test tubes. He turns his back to the camera, adjusting his goggles, but gives one last, softer look behind him as the scene switches.

UNDER Or shall the secrets remain? What lies beyond the lies, armageddon untold

Teruko (16) looks at the camera with cold eyes, but a hint of a frown on her lips. Her pose never changes; unlike everyone else, her segment is one continuous shot. It starts with her holding her card at an angle such that only her face is visible on it. She closes her eyes solemnly, before finally flipping her card around so only the backside is shown. It has the Milgram logo combined with the DRDT logo. She never shows the rest of the front of the card, as the scene switches moments after.

[Pre-chorus, as the prisoners hold their hands to their mouths before a scene of them smiling plays. At the end, for a few frames, a white camellia blooms, before there’s a sudden shift in scenery as we hit the final chorus. All the prisoners’ silhouettes have a still shot each with Es, with a blood splatter always under the latter. The scene starts to focus on each individually]

[Levi’s punching Es in the face, Es thrown to the floor from the impact. Brass knuckles are barely visible on his hand. Levi’s shouting, as are all the other prisoners]

[Arturo is kneeling, facing away from Es. The latter is laying on the floor behind him in what would be a pretty uncomfortable position. Arturo is holding his head in his hands, his mouth visible from the side and open in a shout. One of Es’ shoes is off]

[David is holding Es by the neck of their shirt, shouting at their face (from now on I’ll stop clarifying that they’re shouting). The following symbol appears over where his eyes would be, glowing yellow: 正] EDIT: I forgot to mention one of Es’ shoes is off. RIP to the theorists I’m so sorry-

[Whit is pointing what looks to be a gun at Es, who is recoiling as if they’ve been shot in the heart]

[Ace is seen running, Es’ body falling to the ground beside him and twisting as if they’d been bumped into]

[Nico sits on top of Es’ back. With one of their hands, they’re grabbing onto Es’ hair and apparently pushing it forward. With the other they’re holding two ends of a wire firmly planted on Es’ neck]

[J stands normally, pointing what seems to be a remote control at Es. The latter is face-up on the floor, their limbs contorted in unnatural angles]

[Rose is standing, facing away from Es, who is kneeling and grabbing at their throat. A small jar sits beside them, the cap taken off]

[While standing, Hu is grabbing Es by the throat with both hands, blood coming from the Warden’s throat]

[Veronika is kneeling besides Es’ face-up body. Her hands are on her chest, and there is blood under her as well as the Warden. Meanwhile, Es’ limbs are contorted in unnatural ways, and one of their shoes is off]

[Arei is violently swinging a bowling ball at Es’ head, causing their body to twist around as it falls]

[Eden is standing, covering her eyes. Her right hand has a Ⅵ symbol glowing bright yellow. Es is uncomfortably laying face-up on the floor]

[Min is standing with her back turned to Es, who is kneeling on the floor and grasping at their neck. Min is shouting into a landline phone. Along her arm, an equation glows bright yellow:

ln(x³ - 2 . 13) = 0]

[Xander is grabbing Es’ shoulder, plunging a knife into their stomach]

[Es is standing neutrally, but there is still blood on the floor. A glowing yellow question mark floats above them. Charles is nowhere to be seen]

[Teruko is kneeling calmly besides Es, who is lying face-up with their hands crossed over their chest as if in a coffin. A question mark glows on Teruko's left hand. Teruko is the only prisoner besides Charles who is not screaming]

[The song winds down while a sped up and translucent version of the video plays in the background. A shadow begins growing in the middle, and for just a moment, two sharp yellow eyes stare at the camera from the center of the screen. The finale simply has Es exiting to the left as they do in canon Undercover]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there's Undercover! How we feeling? Hope you enjoyed! Take care!

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duelinthesun · 4 months ago

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okay the thing is that lennsmith thing is set in a very elaborate and silly au me and my friend @jorkeryuri made i am not calling it a crossover bc it's just 60s music scene rpf in general but it's mostly focused on what if the monkees and the beatles were much closer than they actually were (though john and mike were genuine friends — mike's in the day in the life mv and he and his wife stayed at the lennons' for the weekend afterwards) it's mostly just a fucked up web of relations also including like. csny and the who and whatnot. featuring mike and john's wives running away together it's all like 98% a joke anyway that tag specifically references the alternate universe tumblr fandom and the way it would change if mike nesmith was 1) at the get back sessions as a sort of Yoko Two (yes they are sort of a throuple here it doesn't really work but they pretend it's fine so hard it almost does actually work) but he was mostly edited out of the final let it be 1970 movie 2) came out as gay in the mid-seventies and strongly implied he fucked a beatle but didn't say which one and 3) this and his other cryptic comments resulted in a decades-long mike/ringo vs mike/john ship war until get back 2021 was released and it became obvious mike was there bc of john and also there A Lot More than was suggested earlier. i could go on but this is already a novel length ask out of the blue sorry about that

Omg this is gold😭 mclennon who... from now on a believe in lennsmith. this is the universe i want to live in

Though i think I need my beatlemaniac card revoked bc i didn't even know mike was in a day in a life mv?? Well, i've watched this video maybe twice in my whole life, since as a kid i was terrified of that song. So no wonder i never noticed mike there, but😲

Thank you so much, i gotta dive into the lennsmith tag now

#ja #poczta #john lennon #michael nesmith #lennsmith

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allyallyorange · 1 year ago

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- besides the show, what other media has inspired you in the au?

- who has the angstiest backstory?

- who’s design was the easiest?

- what are your thoughts on rice based on your AU?

- can we have some random fun facts about the teezers pls 🙏

- was woosan mad about Mingi burning their treehouse down?

-other than AT itself, which I think really did inspire almost everything, plus the Fionna and Cake miniseries was also a huge inspiration for a bunch of ideas. Howl’s Moving Castle was an inspiration a little bit for Seonghwa (catching a falling star), for Mingi losing an arm Fullmetal Alchemist: brotherhood is sort of inspiring me for the robotic arm I’m planning for him..

-I think angstiest backstory is probably Mingi cus he had to deal with the trauma of accidentally wiping out not only huge amounts of the environment but also unintentionally causing a ton of death. Jongho’s backstory is also angsty cus he dealt with so much loss as a child and no one believes him when his cousin disappears through a portal cus in their world that’s not really possible. Everyone thinks he’s crazy and he was only a kid so definitely a hard time for him.

-yeosang and seonghwa were the first ones I drew for the AU and I think I had a clear vision for both of them (thank you Halazia MV) so they were probably the easiest!

-not sure what this means but Uhm I love rice? Like the food rice?

-fun facts!

SH: has an extensive record collection. Despite having a Demon Prince poster in his house for hundreds of years he hadn’t listened to any of Joong’s songs until they meet again.

HJ: aside from Mingi who is like his younger brother, Joong’s favourite is Wooyoung. Wooyoung spends a ton of time in Hongjoong’s shack because he keeps breaking house rules so they hang out a lot and Joong tolerates it

YH: had a super cool motorcycle back in Universe Z that he customized himself. He wanted to be an engineer before Mingi died but he ended up not doing that and instead worked as a mechanic. He liked the job though!

YS: despite being a vampire he’s never drank human blood before. His favourite snack is strawberry red because he likes sharing with Seonghwa (he drinks the red and Seonghwa eats the berry)

SN: The Demon King is Sam’s “creator” so sometimes he jokes that Hongjoong is his uncle (is he wrong tho??)

MG: Mingi likes wearing dark clothes and cool accessories cus Hongjoong used to dress like that all the time when they were younger and Mingi always thought Joong was the coolest person ever

WY: he’s extremely talented as an inventor but he sees it as just a hobby. Despite how useful the skill is, he only does what he wants, you could ask him to try making something you think would be useful, but he won’t do it unless he decides he wants to. He claims being team wizard is good enough (he loves laying unnecessarily harsh curses on enemies he’s dealt with)

JH: keeps a journal of all the new things he sees in Universe A. He’s basically studying the other guys cus they’re so strange and magical. When he’d first found Mingi his plan became to cure Mingi’s curse and bring him and Yunho back home with him

-yes. Woosan were very annoyed when Mingi burns down their treehouse. Yunho gets them to calm down and talks up the idea that living in an actual house will probably be a good change (he doesn’t really know how to talk to Mingi but he still doesn’t like others yelling at him if he can help it)

Thank you for your ask!! 🫶

#ask #ateez at au

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stepswowdsen · 2 months ago

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【KagePro】 Saeru's Characterization + KuroEne's Ship Portrayals Rambles🖤💙

Summary:

My history with the 9/6 multiships + KuroEne-centric rambles

My observations on Kuroha/Saeru's portrayals in fan works/doujinshi

My personal tastes/aesthetics on Saeru's characterization and KuroEne's ship portrayals/depictions

My History with KuroEne 🖤💙

Original: Highspeed Fujimori Colour Edits: Me

I have more to add to this tbh, but I think I wrote what I wanted.

I first got into KagePro when I was around 12 (presumably October 2013), a few months after Outer Science’s MV released in August 2013.

Sometime during late 2013 - early 2014 is when I fell in love with the 9/6 multiships (KuroEne, HaruTaka, KonoEne)

I was actively drawing for a few years, then switched to other interests but would lurk KagePro news (song releases, manga updates, etc.)

My younger self’s KuroEne AU’s concept went like “Saeru comes to meet Ene and bonds with her while she’s still stuck in the phone.”

So, I’ve been lowkey lurking KagePro fan works for a long time. I haven’t been completely active though, so I rediscovered a lot of KagePro official and fan works (like merch arts) recently.

Recently, I came back to KagePro and KuroEne in April 2024, which is when I completely revamped my KuroEne AU.

I came back to KagePro as one of my main interests for the first time in years.

I always wrote my ship AU stuff privately, so I eventually started posting my rambles once I came off priv ^^

The overall concept of the KuroEne AU has roots in my younger self’s ideas, but I rewrote it entirely from scratch (without looking at my younger self’s ideas) and came up with most concepts from scratch too.

I came up with the idea of Ene occupying an android body in the KuroEne AU around mid May 2024.

KuroEne AU Route Branches 🐍🐰

KuroEne AU Routes tend to branch off like this

1) Saeru plays the game with Ene alone and only reveals his true nature on August 15th

Saeru possesses Konoha from the start, meets with Ene, and gains Ene's trust. Saeru plays the game with Ene alone, and doesn't meet the rest of the MekaDan.

Eventually, he vaguely tells her about the legend of the Medusa and tells her he's the holder of Awakening Eyes so he can change his body at will and possesses snake-like features, an explanation that she accepts, since she's impressed by his Eye Ability and finds kinship in him.

She expresses delight at being able to find someone who can understand her so well, and someone who also has "circumstances similar to her" as another Eye Ability user.

He also gets to reveal the name Saeru without much suspicion, but keeps his plans hidden. Proceeds with his plans on August 15th.

2) Saeru plays the game with Ene alone and reveals his true nature before August 15th

Same as the above, but Saeru instead drops the facade mid-way while they're still in an intimate relationship (because he wants to see Ene's reaction).

He reveals that he's the Clearing Snake, but still hides his true plans, so their relationship immediately becomes more tense and hostile, but more honest since Ene has a better picture of his true nature.

3) Saeru pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan and MaryEne team up against him

Saeru possesses Konoha from the start, meets with Ene, gains her trust, and pretends to join the Mekakushi Dan.

Purposefully acts more tame and nicer to keep up the facade, and does favours for the MekaDan to gain their trust. Proceeds with his plans on August 15th.

Usually this Route set-up leads to a MaryEne team-up Route against Saeru at the final confrontation (though it could still happen in the others, if MaryEne managed to befriend each other before or on August 15th)

4) Saeru steals Konoha's body after KonoEne got the chance to meet each other

Saeru possesses Konoha after Konoha and Ene have already developed some kind of relationship (friendship, relationship) and Ene perceives him as the evil snake that stole Konoha's body.

Since Ene is aware of his true nature (but doesn't know his true plans), their relationship is much more hostile and tense since Ene gets a better picture of the "real him."

Saeru gets to reveal his true name and nature. Proceeds with his plans on August 15th.

Misc Rambles

The KuroEne AU is my fantasy. I wanted to make the perfect angsty and compelling set-up for it.

I put a lot of care into depicting my faves :)

Making ship works is putting my fave Barbie dolls together, making them kiss (/lh) and exploring their relationship.

I only create ship AUs for my top faves (and sometimes secondary ships) because not everything I'm into needs to have a ship and/or AU tbh.

I see my ship AUs as love letters created from passion. I create my ship AUs out of love for my faves, since they're the only ones I'm willing to dedicate this amount of my free time and effort into.

And I have a tendency to gravitate towards rare pairs and niche popular ships in general.

Evil meow meow mf freak who's Morally Questionable (Morally Bankrupt) and sadistic and bloodthirsty x Soft empathetic with a bright disposition (Morally Agreeable) and loves their friends is my ultimate Sen-core ship trope 🐈‍⬛☀️

My utterly predictable chara/ship tastes.

I love my KuroEne AU sm 💗 I cherish it very deeply. I love how fleshed out it is, its unique setup and context, and all the interesting ideas I came up with, with Feila's help and inputs ^^

My Observations on Saeru's Characterization

Ok, I'll ramble a bit on my observations and sentiments on the way Kuroha/Saeru would get depicted in fan-works/doujinshi roughly from 2013 - 2019

Honestly, I think one of the biggest reasons why I made my KuroEne AU in the first place was cuz I wanted a KuroEne AU that would explore the potential of their relationship dynamic in ways I would be satisfied with.

Imo, there’s a lack of Kuroha/Saeru characterization exploration in his depictions in fan works, regardless of whether it’s fanon or canon-verse.

On top of the fact that most fan works (especially back then) mischaracterize tf out of him.

And there wasn’t much doujins and fan works available (at least out of the ones I saw) that appealed to my tastes.

I don’t vibe with a lot of his fanon works even when they’re set in canon-verse, because they just don’t manage to nail the appeal of Saeru’s chara (or don’t even characterize him correctly), and I’m just SO picky about his characterization.

In general, I’m really picky about the portrayal of all of my fave charas and ships since I have extremely specific tastes, so I do my best to characterize them well, and try to portray their relationships as best as I can…

As someone who first got into KagePro as a kid, I noticed that most KagePro EA fandom artists prefer to depict fanon-verse Kuroha/Saeru, especially in gen and ship doujinshi.

Which is fine, I understand the appeal of putting him in more lighthearted domestic settings without the canon-verse KagePro plot involved and not really involving angst/death/murder.

But the thing that bothers me is that most Saeru depictions in KagePro fan doujinshi have him with no unhingedness, no insanity, no murder, no "inhuman nature" caused from him being unable to know or understand human sentimentality/emotions and love, no calculated, manipulative, cunning nature, no cold composure/distance from humanity, and no toxic twisted love towards his beloved (S/O) in ship fan works

What is he without all of this tbh.

He’s a shell of himself. He's basically a completely different character at this point.

Like it just takes away everything that makes him, him.

Like good god, why would you want to make him generic?

Him getting portrayed as some generic ass tsundere/yandere trope (when he is SO far from that imo) is so ??? to me.

That's not my mans (cat) at all.

Btw, I'm saying this while still buying these doujinshi btw.

Saeru gets so little doujinshi these days, and since I do still enjoy the art, I would like to support fellow fan artists. Some artists still have interesting takes.

If people only had Outer Science as their only context to go off of, you’d think that the fan-works/doujin portrayals would go to the extreme end of him getting portrayed as some bloodthirsty yandere (even though, post-MR2 Saeru lore drop, that’s obviously wrong too)

The fan-works swinging to make him some easily embarrassed generic tsundere guy is so WILD to me.

This character’s unique context as the main villain and instigator of the time loop tragedy, his cunning, manipulative nature, the way he weaponizes his knowledge/intelligence to his advantage, his distance from humanity as a non-human being/beast, and his inability to know and understand love and human sentimentality, etc., are the things that really speak out to me about his character.

I actually think it’s 100000000x better that Konoha and Kuroha/Saeru aren’t just Haruka alter egos, but entirely different and separate beings as originally Eye Ability Snakes.

Cuz imo it just adds more interesting conflict and tension into the 9/6 ships’ relationships (ie. HaruTaka, KonoEne, KuroEne), cuz it means that Takane/Ene has to reconcile with the fact that she loves/is attached to someone who’s so strangely connected to her late beloved (having his face, body, and voice), but isn’t him.

Btw I think fanon-verse AUs and fluff and shitposts are fun and I like seeing them too.

But Saeru is like the only one out of my top fave charas where I hardly see the canon guy’s characterization being depicted in fan works like doujinshi and comics. Like it's mainly the fanon version.

I find that kinda frustrating, that most of his depictions in doujins have him being flanderized as some “ideal version” of himself.

Like at least my other faves that get doujinshi for the most part are still decently characterized (except when they’re not) and still act like themselves.

I thought that MR2's lore reveals would shift his portrayals/depictions now that his character has been recontextualized, but it didn’t really seem to affect his fan-works/doujinshi portrayals that much.

But I also think that this is the direct consequence caused by KagePro's original source material being the Music Route (Vocaloid Song MVs) and having content that slowly released over time.

The fact that he only got very brief cameo appearances in Children Record and Losstime Memory and then got Outer Science as his main appearance in 2013, (prior to the Saeru Hebi (Clearing Snake) reveal), means people only had the MVs and their own HCs/interpretations to go off of

Since Iirc the Saeru Hebi (Clearing Snake) reveal only came post-2014 due to MCA (Mekakucity Actors - Anime Route) and Novel Route (LNs).

That development came later, since Iirc it wasn’t always intended for his chara.

So the guy basically got HC'ed the shit out of him, and him getting portrayed often as some smug tsundere or yandere guy stayed in his doujinshi.

And I'm not really satisfied with the doujins that were of him in canon-verse (doujins of Saeru in canon-verse were much less frequent to see), cuz Saeru is a chara I'm SO picky with how he's portrayed in ships.

Saeru has a power imbalance with other charas, which is fine. It's undeniable that the power imbalance exists.

But I dislike when the power imbalance between him and other charas gets skewed in unsavoury ways.

Because I think that, because he's the most violent/aggressive chara, who also holds power over the entire cast in both knowledge and power, that his chara needs to be treaded with carefully for ship portrayals.

I absolutely despise the Fandom ™️phenomena that happens with every single masc chara where they get portrayed in gen/ship fan works as more pushy/aggressive, and even worse, etc., due to Misogyny.

Regardless of chara/ship, I seriously dislike whenever I see fan-works/doujinshi have unsavoury depictions where the "more masc" chara just… one-sidedly torments their S/O.

It's giving Misogyny Core and Torture 101 vibes /neg

That shit is seriously so unappealing to me 😭

Not only that, but imo, Saeru ships just don’t work when his S/O is so passive. They should be a bitch back and throw hands confront him

Irt my own depictions, I always try to balance my KuroEne ship portrayals as much as possible because I'm picky about their characterization.

Especially when Saeru's chapters in late-MR2, released in like 2017. MR2 (Manga Route 2), despite the lacking, undynamic art, is incredibly valuable to me story wise, especially for certain charas, because it recontextualizes Saeru's characterization so much.

Rambles with Feila

(I think I got more to say but I can't find my old rambles in my Notion files rn so here's my rambles with Feila)

Me: I'm not really interested in fanon verse Saeru depictions that flanderize his chara as some "ideal" version of himself. Cuz that's not my guy to me tbh.

His canon verse self's characterization is what makes him most interesting to me.

I want to depict my fave charas/ships well.

But Saeru gets so little doujins nowadays that I want to support these. So I end up buying them anyways

Me: To clarify, I'm not really interested in fanon Kuroha cuz for him to be "tame" without any unhingedness/insanity is just not my guy to me, but I do want to see more fan works of him. So I end up getting his doujinshi anyways.

If he's acting more tame and keeping his darker tendencies hidden because it benefits him, then that’s a whole different story.

Because that would actually play up to his true nature.

He would've recognized that it's more advantageous to him to keep his true plans to himself so that he can gain his partner's trust, indulge in the game by making them addicted to him, and therefore, get the outcomes he wants.

Also, it reduces the risk of him getting found out sooner than intended (before August 15th or earlier)

Me: I wish there were more KagePro fan doujinshi with canon-verse Kuroha/Saeru...

His canon chara interests me most and yet everything I see from him from EA/JP fandom fanon works is like some flanderized/idealized version of him. And I'm not looking for that.

But I will get fanon-verse Kuroha/Saeru doujins anyways, even if he's mad OOC (Out of Character)

F: And when it is set in canon-verse, he's terribly mischaracterized

Me: Like the portrayals that have him being violent to his S/O in rancid/unsavoury ways??? That's so blegh to me 😭😭😭

F: Irt Saeru doujins, I just appreciate the artstyle ngl

Me: YEAH same. I'm getting Saeru doujinshi almost solely for the art style alone.

F: And Saeru barely gets any content, let us Saeru fans win for once 💔

Me: YEAH it's weird how he hardly gets doujins nowadays. He either gets portrayed OOC to hell and/or rancid to hell.

I'm not winning!!!

Me: I win all the time with LmGd cuz it's a beloved niche popular ship that gets ship teased and fed by both official content and fan works.

F: Saeru having fucked up morals but just not acting upon it 🫶

F: Some KagePro EA fandom artists have doujins that range from wholesome to gruesomely angsty.

Me: Yeah they are still interesting to see. As long as the portrayal isn't too bad (characterization wise), I'll still take a look.

F: I like the doujins where Saeru lives with the MekaDan in peace like a family :v

Me: I appreciate fluff-centric content (no angst), and I'm fine with fanon verse Saeru + MekaDan fluff.

But when fanon-verse Saeru depictions takes up like 90% of his existing fan-works/doujins...

At least the ones I've been able to find/read, anyways.

I'd like to see more variety cuz I hardly see the canon guy.

There are old doujin previews from 2014 I'd be interested in, but it's a shame that doujinshi are circulated for such short periods of time physically due to limited print copies, and then basically disappear from the internet.

Me: With that in mind, I think it's also the curse of him having limited contents since KagePro first released through the Music Route

And the fact that fans had to make up their interpretations/HCs of him as content slowly released

So a lot of fan content of him prior to MR2's release was just people making up their own HCs

Like old/early fan contents even portrayed him (fanon Kuroha/Saeru) as some smug but easily flustered tsundere guy??? 😭

F: OH THAT DASJDAAK

I swear I dug deep into KagePro Tumblr

WHY IS HE PORTRAYED AS SOME KIND OF TSUNDERE/YANDERE

Me: IKR LIKE THAT'S NOT MY MANS (CAT) TO ME

(Also whews I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed this)

F: I cringed looking at it, even if I didn't live out that era of KagePro

Me: Ngl kid me's KuroEne fanon verse stuffs were OOC as hell too but well, kid me was living out a fantasy of Ene being their wife. I was just doing whatever 🤸

I had canon-verse and fanon-verse KuroEne art ideas as a kid

Now my KuroEne AU portrays them in ways that appeal perfectly to my tastes 🫶

I mainly draw/write for the KuroEne AU for myself, so I'm happy to see others like my takes on their characterization and relationship.

I hope to give more interesting insights 👍👍

My kid's canon-verse KuroEne AU was angsty as hell, basically it had a similar set up to the KuroEne AU I have now, where Kuroha pretends to be Konoha and bonds with Ene while she was in the phone.

Though I think I prefer to write KuroEne AU Routes where Kuroha possesses Konoha right from the start because it's more interesting that way.

But my current KuroEne AU was massively revamped. Rewritten entirely from scratch.

My current KuroEne AU is when I came up with the idea of the android body in May 2024.

But yeah I started paying more attention to character analysis and characterization as I got older.

Like I think I only got a handle on doing character meta/analysis rambles when I was 18 - 20.

Especially since I was into KagePro WAY before the release of MR2 and the later LNs.

F: Listen we all went through character development, don't worry 💔 I was a big weeb back then

Saeru's Motivations in the KuroEne AU

To me, it makes sense that Saeru avoids bringing up his S/O's loved ones and past memories directly in front of them.

However, he does weaponize his knowledge in different ways and uses it to his advantage.

Based on his knowledge of previous Routes, he comes to know and understand exactly how his S/O acts, how they'll respond to him, how to seduce them/tempt them with carnal pleasures, how to cater to their preferences in intimate scenarios, etc.

In Routes where he has a more amicable relationship with them prior to August 15th.

In this case, Saeru doesn't bring up Haruka and Konoha to Ene in most Routes (until maybe the final August 15th)

His main goal is the same as in canon, to make Azami's original strongest desire (the one that created him) come true, to constantly destroy and rewind the world out of spite against the world for changing Azami's wish, and keep up his pseudo immortality with the time loops.

His secondary goal in the AU is to make his S/O crave him and be addicted to him so that his existence becomes “necessary” to someone.

So, in short, he wants to be seen and acknowledged by someone.

I originally wrote about it here: (X)

And then included the short quote snippet here: (X)

I think that this is the end goal of what he wants out of his "game of indulgence" with his S/O.

He would recognize that making his S/O constantly relapse about the past would only hurt his relationship with them.

Like, he only does it if he's playing around and interested in seeing more outcomes play out.

Therefore, in most Routes, he figures that it's more advantageous and benefits him more to keep it to himself.

I see his actions in the KuroEne AU as:

His way of retaliating against and mocking/spiting the way he lost his sense of purpose (reason for existence) when Azami's wish changed to wanting to be with her family, and then acts out on desperation to retain his sentience and avoid being forgotten and fully disappearing.

And his way of curiously “getting to know” the pure love and human sentimentality that Azami gained without understanding it.

Even him being willing to indulge with a human in carnal pleasures like this, is a form of irony he doesn't realize.

Misc Rambles

Quoting this from the last part of this post: (X)

Because I like the wording of "He makes note of all the human sentiments and gestures that will be useful to him."

Because it does still show how he weaponizes knowledge to his advantage and how he has an underlying goal for what he's doing (messing around in the time loops with the human he picked as his S/O and target, to entertain himself)

F: Does he see commitment as love? Perhaps gifts? Bonding?

Me: Imo he would catch onto his S/O's love languages and fave hobbies and things, things they'd appreciate. Like he'd buy things for Ene as gifts (plushies, video games, new clothes, etc.)

Again, he is learning how to "love" his S/O better each time, so he makes note of that... Of all the human sentiments and gestures that will be useful to him.

Augh his whole deal in the KuroEne AU is… “Beast that lacks humanity and doesn’t know love, only knows what twisted love (obsession) is… Because the only thing that’s left without love, is devotion…”

I LOVE YOU SAERU HEBI 💗💞💘🫶

#kagepro #kagerou project #kuroene #kuroha #ene #enomoto takane #takane enomoto #kuroha x ene #saeru #saeene #saeru x ene #saeru hebi #me ga saeru hebi #snake of clearing eyes #clearing snake #black konoha #dark konoha #sen's rambles

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meimeikyu · 1 year ago

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Giving sans AUs kpop solo songs,,, an extremely self indulgent post

this is based on both the tone/lyrics of the song, my interpretation of the lyrics, and the music videos. also just songs i like

also!! a lot of these will be focused on my interpretations of both the song and the characters, as well as specific parts of them

(this will be slightly long and full of links so it goes under the cut)

Cross: Lilac - IU

youtube

this song makes me so aggressively happy and sad at the same time and its so hgksghkshgksghs i feel like itd fit him so much,,,, for one lilac being the song name bcs i associate cross heavily with lilacy purple but also just the whole theme of the song being losing a person but it being like a perfect goodbye and etc and. idk i see it in him

"Will you forget me someday?

Will you forget our faces and the scent of today?

While having a good nap

Like a faded mid-spring’s dream"

Blue: Bam Yang Gang - BIBI

youtube

okay so this is mostly based on the lyrics, and the concept of blue working with the stars but kinda being lesser than them? since hes 'only' mortal and cant keep up and yet hes expected to and. yeah i love this concept n i love this song so

"As you were leaving you turned around and said to me

"You always want far too much"

No what I’ve always wanted was one thing

Just one thing sweet chestnut red bean jelly"

Dream: INVU - Taeyeon

youtube

god so its like a sad song about forbidden love in my mind but like. some of the lyrics hit so hard n i feel like theyd work for dream so well and the mvs so pretty (and also has a bow!) but like. dream and forbidden things work so well together in my mind bcs shes the one trying to keep everything together and yet also be the perfect guardian of positivity and can never be sad or angry and never get tired or stop and. she cant even love someone because shes supposed to be a guardian and thats not part of her job </3 (also trans fem dream canon to me)

"I think I lost my mind

But it's my kind of love

Without leaving anything

Pour everything out and flop

Suddenly at one point

I see myself exhausted

Even though I'm trying my best"

Ink: water color - Whee In

youtube

okay one i adore this song two the whole song being art/painting themed!!! literally ink!!!!!! and the theme of a lot of the lyrics being about becoming/embracing yourself (in my mind) i feel like fits him bcs like, hes out of the normal hes weird but hes HIM!! he has an identity he has a life he has friends hes not just that sketch anymore!!! hes a full person :D

"Gonna make it colored

I'll pick my brush

Just dye my everything, yeah, deep in my mind

Then I will follow my heart

Draw the things that only I have

Gonna do it my way

I don't wanna stay here"

Nightmare: Animal Farm - BIBI

(warning for fake blood/gore in the mv, as well as violence and guns)

youtube

so i actually had a few ideas for nightmare tbh but idk they didnt feel quite right to be 'the' song i put as nightmare, but oh boy this song did! the whole royalty vibes of the music video plus the apple in the beginning, and just the whole tone of the song and mv felt so right. whats more fitting than the one video thats age restricted lmfao

this is meant to be a more fanon nightmare but not quite the whole 'only doing it for the balance would never do violence otherwise' nightmare but also not 'fully evil an corrupted and the real nightmare is dead' just,, some combination of the two that i like to do nightmare as. definitely bad but not cruel to those close to them, would do violence or manipulation for purposes other than the balance and for her own gain, but doesnt intend to tip the scales all the way and destroy every positive instance. also very much fancy and royal aesthetics :3

"Welcome, well done

Shameless friends of mine

Who's next?

Hang my pretty head in your room

Where is love? Where is my sympathy?

What have we lost?

Is it a farm? Is it society?

Am I a tiger or a gazelle?"

Killer: Heart Attack - Chuu

youtube

oh wow the song i drew killer with like a week ago,,, shockinggggg (silly)

tone wise does this song seem like killer? meh debatable but i associate it with him so fucking hard!! one i feel like if we go off popular like fanon-ish killer i think hed like this song <-projecting probably but TWO!!! all the lyrics about like giving his heart an the apple themes in the mv??? consider: its him about nightmare, giving his whole heart sould and purpose to nightmare and how nightmare is obviously tied to apples canon wise, and the mv uses apples to represent freedom or sin (imo) and killer 'eating the apple' or agreeing to work with nightmare for some form of freedom. also non toxic killermare has my heart and soul and this is so killermare to me btw <33333 (also the other girl in the mv is yves and for the sake of this idea she is nightmare in this context <3)

btw have i mentioned how much i fucking LOVE this song bcs i fucking adore this song i love it so much im so insane about it

"Pounding more and more

I’ll give it all, take my heart

Surely you’re my destiny

It shines fully in my heart"

Dust: 28 Reasons - Seulgi

youtube

ok lyric wise maybe less fitting than the other songs but like,, the whole mvs theme of 'good and evil exist together in a person' is like. so how i feel about dust how do i word this. what he did is bad or 'evil' killing everyone is objectively bad but in his mind hes freeing them from a worse fate (the constant resets) and doing it for the greater 'good'. it doesnt matter if thats true or not, the fact is he believes it to be,,,, combine with the idea of him sometimes feeling horribly guilty about what hes done versus comforting himself with what he does because its better for him... i feel like both dust and killer have this very skewed view of their past vs present, and where killer barely remembers his past dust VERY MUCH does, and has a massive line in his head of where sans ended and he started. idk if this makes sense to anyone else but alone those lines, picture the chorus as if its him talking to himself,,,, also this songs amazing i love it

"28 reasons that ruined you, you don't have to know

I have no bad intentions

You know all 28 reasons to run away

So, why are you leaning into me again?"

Error: Glitch - Kwon Eunbi

youtube

This ones also kinda less directly connected but i couldnt not do the glitchy song for error (i also had minimal other ideas shhh)!! The whole glitchy theme and a lot of the lyrics being based around that is perfect for our glitchy man,,,, also this song is just really good n i love eunbi!!

"I make a touch, t-t-touch the limit After crashing the steep wall again The shaking caught my eyes, wait a minute"

---

so originally this was gonna have more guys but ive run out of proper ideas for it and if i don't post it as is its gonna live in my drafts forevr n i dont want that bcs im actually really happy with what i have so far so end for now!! i may do more another time but yeah!

i do offer this bonus tho!!

Festivalverse: Apple - Gfriend

youtube

in general i adore this song but also i just associate it with my au, specifically the gods!! also the apple theme in general fitting with dreamtale, the final bit, and just how gorgeous the whole mv is! its so my au to me :3

silly thing but if ur curious about which member would be who in festivalverse: Sowon - Ink, Umji - Error, Eunha - Geno, Yuju - Reaper, Yerin - Dream, SinB - Nightmare

"There’s no turning back when the night turns restless Let the festival I dared to imagine come alive"

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astrosfaerydae · 2 years ago

Text

Masterlist

Welcome! Here are all 15 of my skz fanfics! I will update this list as I upload fics. <3

Completed fics:

☁️ When the Storm Subsides

Summary:

Word Count: 9.1k

Felix is struggling with himself and having nightmares. Chan and Minho are there to help. (Hurt/comfort can be read platonic it doesn't matter either way)

☁️Groovy Gaytime Princess

Summary:

Word Count: 3k

Chat fic. Felix posts that TikTok and sends the chat into chaos. First one that gets home gets Felix! (MinLix, mild smut)🔞

☁️Your Favorite Necklace is my Right Hand

Summary:

Word Count: 9.1k

Red lights MV inspired behind the scenes smut. (Hyunchan explicit smut)🔞

☁️Die From a Broken Heart

Summary:

Word Count: 3.1k

Jeongin gets his heart broken, Chan is there to help (hurt/comfort platonic jeongchan)

☁️It (Was) Getting Hot in Here

Summary:

Word Count: 1k

That one time where Minlix was in the hot tub together. Yea that's it. (Almost explicit but not)

☁️It All Started With a Curse

Summary:

Word Count: 35.5k

Chanlix high school au. Chan meets Felix in history club and well the rest is well history (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Warning read all the tags and notes for reasons thank you (slice of life high school au rated mature for some jokes)

☁️The Universe in Your Eyes

Summary:

Word Count: 4.1k

Chan was trying to do an episode of chan's room but Felix is a brat and gets what he wants. Chan... Well he tried to tell him no.

(Explicit pwp)🔞

☁️ Just Another Day in Paradise

Summary:

Word Count: 325

Chan and Felix didn't like anniversaries but still celebrated in their own special way. Just some silly little domestic fluff scene that's so cute it will make your teeth rot out of your head. (3 word prompt challenge, domestic fluff, lots of love)

☁️If You Get There Before I Do

Summary:

Word Count: 7.1k

1920s farm life au, Chan and Felix plan to run away together but things take time and communication is hard, but they make it work. (Established relationship, fluff so much fluff, happy ending, marriage) Rated G

Deleted Scene:

In His Eyes My World So Came Alive

Word Count: 348

A cute little snowball fight in the past before their plans to run away. It was so sweet I couldn't just let it go.

☁️ Silence is One Thing That I'll Remeber

Summary:

Word Count: 11.1k

TW// Dead Dove: Do Not Eat!!! Major character death, death, gore, weapons, graphic violence, blood, dismemberment, hospitals, sedation against will, bullying

Chansung, Love is the Death of Peace of Mind supernatural/skz crossover AU prequel detailing the events between Chan and Jisung. Can be read as a standalone.

☁️ You Had Me From Hello

Summary:

Word count: 3.7k

Prompt for Chanlix fest on Twitter

Prompt: Felix/Chan is an avid reader and often uses the the «Little Free Library» in his neighborhood. Someone else also seem to use it, and the two start leaving small notes imbedded in the books to each other.

☁️ I Love The Look On You Face When I'm Tempting You

Summary:

Word count: 2.7k

Fluffy smuty one shot based on Minsungs ASEA Awards shenanigans. Minho is a little shit and Jisung hates loves it.

NSFW 🔞

☁️ Try my Best to Just Pretend

Summary:

Word count: 6.1k

Rated: Teen (for language)

Chanlix fake dating but they aren't the ones dating. But omg Felix wishes they were... But he can't ruin his friends relationship, that doesn't mean he doesn't get jealous though.

Hurt/comfort and fluff, fake dating, ft. All of the gym bros dorm, Canon, happy ending

☁️ I Miss The Way You Say My Name

Summary:

Word count: 2.7k

Rated: Explicit

Felix was just an absolute social butterfly at the ASEA Awards. Chan loves that about him except for when that means he is put on the back burner. Or at least he sees it that way. Jealous is a nasty little monster but the entire hotel is about to hear just who Felix belongs to.

NSFW 🔞

Pwp, possessive behavior, jealousy, orgasm denial/edging, screaming, crying

☁️ Gonna Drop Dead at This Rate

Summary:

Rated: T

Word count: 4k

Raffle fic won by Lixieloveangie from the Stay with Palestine fundraiser ran by St4y Community Events on twitter! Thank you for donating to a good cause, hope you all enjoy! Prompt: chanlix are in an established relationship, Felix does/says something in frustration that he doesn’t mean to upset Chan. Chan feeling hurt starts to avoid Felix and it gets so bad that the guys step in and are like look Felix you need to fix this

Bad at communication, canon comp, angst, angst with a happy ending

☁️ Aqua Regia

Summary:

Rated: E

Word count: 2.2k

CW// non con elements from clientele

Security Gaurd Chan can't stand it when patrons get too handsy with his stripper boyfriend Felix and finally does something about it

🔞 NSFW

PWP, strip club au, quickie, jealousy, possessive and obsessive behavior

☁️Touch Me Again

Summary:

E🔞

Word count: 2.3k

CW// blood mentioned no actual blood

Felix is not used to Chan being so damn touch now that he's allowed to be on camera. He doesn't hate it though he just hates that it's so addictive and all he wants is more. Chan makes sure he's taken care of even if they are at a photoshoot.

Pwp, blowjobs, canon compliant

☁️ Can I Call You Baby?

Summary:

Rated T

Jeongin loves all his boyfriends but has never had a real first kiss. He's taken things so slow and everyone's been so patient but the pressure is mounting he wants to do it but he's scared they are going to treat him like a baby and make a big deal out it.

Canon compliant, First kiss, poly skz, jeonglix

☁️ Coffee and Cream(pie)

Summary: Rated E 🔞 3.3k Prompt: Minho wakes Jisung up with coffee and a creampie and anything but lube Canon compliant, minsung, smut, domestic fluff and smut

☁️ Even if it Hurts me, Even if I Can't Sleep, Show me the way

Summary: Rated: T 7k Chanlix- Once again Felix fails to confess to Chan. He's feeling the pressure of time, contract renewals and dorm switches it is a lot at once. He can't go into this new era of Skz with this hanging over him. Canon comp, chanlix, getting together, idiots in love, angst. hurt comfort

☁️ Turn Me Into Your Mannequin

Summary: Rated: E 🔞 5.5k Changjin- Photographer Changbin and Model Hyunjin AU. Changbin is a professional and refuses to cross that line. Hyunjin trips right over it! CW// Blood and mild injury (Hyunjin is fine just clumsy) AU, Changjin, getting together, fluff, humor, stupid in love, vanilla, smut

☁️ Connected

Summary: Rated: T 2.4k Chanlix- “How did it even start? It's been so long the memories are a little fuzzy,” Chan scrunched his face up as his eyes wandered around the room trying to recall the memories from his brain, “When did you fall for me?” canon comp, Furture canon, story told in flashbacks, anniversaries, fluff, domestic fluff, pov alternating Podfic Available

☁️ Scared to Try Again

Summary: Rated: T 7.9k Chanlix- Everyone was happy about the change now. Even Felix was. For a moment it brought up some more than uncomfortable feelings but he’d get over it. He always has… he had to. He had no other option. canon comp, another this is how contract renewal fic, post break up, possibly getting back together, angst, angst with a happy ending

Ongoing fics:

Kinktober 2024

Sugar, I've Developed a Taste For You

Summary:

Rated: E🔞

Wc: 2.8k

Minsung- Jisung returns home later but still earlier than Minho expected. Minho gets caught in the middle of some personal fun times. Jisung takes care of him the way he deserves

Canon comp, pwp but with a little bit of plot, rimming, anal sex

☁️Love is The Death of Peace of Mind

Summary:

Chanlix supernatural crossover AU. Felix gets attacked by a demon and hunter Chan saves him. The demons are after Felix's necklace, Chan has to find out why. (That's the best summary I can give without spoilers!) Read all notes and warnings this fic tackles a lot of dark topics also Eventual smut 🔞 dead dove do not eat ⚠️

Prologue:

Silence is the One Thing I'll Remember

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moonfurthetemmie · 2 months ago

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Bro why didn’t you tag me in the frenzy enmity post /j

Also I don’t think you should worry if you use the same au name as silver because there’s already a user who also made a fell sdt variation (I think I drew his design once or twice) and they use the same name as we do! (Aka user panicking I love their sdt art) but when we refer to them in discord we should just use the characters nicknames so we understand. I admit though Swapdreamtale: Edgy Edition does sound funny lol.

Also what do you think terror and frenzy’s relationship be like. Considering that he’s super different from Rahab but acts somewhat similar to him, do you think they’d have a slightly better relationship. Also did Frenzy when in high mania act somewhat similar to Rahab ie looking down on people, arrogant ass attitude and especially terrorising a version of his brother (not to the extent Rahab does ofc)

iiiiiiiiii fucking forgot to share it in discord

whoops

Anyways. i see your point about the name, but. three Fell Swapdreams? insanity........ (mostly joking; it would be a lot)

i don't think terror would like Frenzy at all, mostly because of all the positivity

But I think, since Terror's a corrupted negative guardian of roughly equal strength as Frenzy, Frenzy would pester and pester and pester terror constantly to just come hang out in their MV for a while. please? You can wreck havoc if you want just pleeeeeeeaaaaaase come over??? [insert puppy eyes]

if he's met Rahab or Angel I'm sure Terror will think Frenzy's just like them, but frenzy just wants him to deal with their balance problem. In any case it definitely feels like Frenzy's tormenting him

I'm sure Frenzy came off as arrogant and self-important. In his manic state, he's not able to feel any negative emotions, which means he can't feel bad or really care much when people get hurt, so he just. does whatever he wants. at the expense of everyone around him. I'm not sure if he'd genuinely think everyone's beneath him, though. He certainly doesn't in the lesser episodes he gets nowadays

#Solacy: Fell!Swapdream #Solacy Frenzy #Solacy Enmity #the abbreviation for SwapDream: Edgy Edition would be SDEE/SD:EE and this brings me an unreasonable amount of amusement #dunno that i'll really go with it though

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good-beanswrites · 10 months ago

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What are the executions in LCSYS like? How is Es fooled?

Ahh so I’ve actually thought of this a lot! I didn’t want to include anything specific in the fic yet because I wanted to wait for more canon setup, but that certainly hasn’t stopped me from playing through scenarios in my mind all the time asdfdsf…

Most realistically, in a break between trial three and final verdicts, each of the prisoners records a video of them in an electric chair. Since the prisoners aren’t trained actors well versed in death scenes, it gives them several takes and director’s comments to come up with convincing fear, pleading, and cries of pain. Add in some flashing lights and electricity buzzing, and it can cover up any sign of acting. Of course real electric chairs aren’t flashy like that, but I doubt a fifteen year old who is rapidly realizing they just killed someone is going to be considering that the lights and sounds are just for show (plus being in Milgram where so many things are done with odd theatrics). Es makes their decision from a little room by themself, and must watch on a "live security feed" as the prisoners are led into the room "next door" to face their fate.

Since they can’t be 100% sure who Es will forgive, everyone must film one. A few of the prisoners hang around the tiny recording room, offering support and encouragement, and watching the final product back to compliment the actor, but some are too disturbed to stay long / specific friends are too much to handle. Yuno is perfectly composed during everyone else’s, but hearing Mahiru scream shakes her. Fuuta teases Kotoko nonstop about hers, but doesn’t show up on her filming day. Muu is the one telling everybody this type of acting is no different from the mv acting, and ends up breaking down during Haruka’s. Everyone shows up to Amane’s to give her support, but hers really gets to all of them.

The extra angst version (which is a bit harder to swing in my mind because of the prisoners’ lack of acting training) is the same except Es really is in the room with them, able to talk a bit first. They announce the verdict and get the prisoner's live reaction, whatever it may be. It’s way more personal because the prisoners are able to address/accuse/plead with them directly, and this time Es is forced to throw the electric switch with their own hands.

Though the au overall is heavy on the fluff and fix-it, this is the moment where I let myself lean into the angst. The prisoners know how cruel it is to put Es through this, but they must finish the experiment or it will all be for nothing. They have to justify to themselves why it's alright to make Es face such a deeply traumatizing lie, or they try to convince themself that they'll be forgiven no matter what, so there's no lie involved. They study Es' reaction to their deaths, going through a million emotions -- anger than Es would kill them, peace that the reaction proves how much Es cared, but above all, immense guilt that they're putting Es through all this pain.

#milgram #es #lights camera sing your sins #leave it to you to ask about the major angst moment of the otherwise very fluffy au...... (/J <3)#i have thought of this so many times.... almost always followed up by es getting to reunite with them again in confusion and joy #milgram itself is a reality-questioning experience that will already mess with es A Lot but the executions specifically will #really screw up their sense of trust :(#thank you for the ask pal!! i love thinking about this especially with all the t3 fears going around lol #lcsys save me. lcsys. save me lcsys.

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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 2 months ago

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oops, another lyrics inspired ousai/saiou AU

[me, on 24/09/2024] finally gave in to youtube recommended and listened to "Taste" last night, and it crossed "Good Luck, Babe!" in my mind at some point and proceeded to create this scenario in my mind, and ngl, it's a rough fit for saiou, but bear with me person A, let's say Shuichi, because I can at least somehow see Kokichi as B, is in a straight relationship, and maybe breaks up or "goes on a break", and got forbid I'd make the poor soul Kaede, but her LSE neglectful boyfriend who doesn't make moves seems like a good reason. Point is, summer fling, hot, fast, and very much gay, gay, homosexual. And then he goes back and gets back with his gf. It's technically not cheating! They were on break, and now, he's going to be capable, he'll be attentive, he'll know what to do (kinda going into Espresso territory, "I brand new'ed it for ya"). He'll be trying real hard to make it right, prove that this is what he wants, but the only reason that he can is because he has Kokichi to think of. And after a few months Kokichi moves there (he knows Shuichi's around, they exchanged contact info, but never ended up using it, or maybe texted very briefly and let that trail off), and finds out that Shuichi is back with his ex that he was supposedly totally over with, so what gives? The taunts in verses are directed to the girl, but chorus, and even more so pre-chorus "Now I'm gone, but you're still layin' Next to me, one degree of separation" are directed at Shuichi, this is the same as Chappel's "You can kiss a hundred boys in bars/Shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling". And just. the violence in the mv, changing the perspective to being a memory she's violently trying to get rid of, rather than jealousy, using the guy to try to get the taste out but only getting more obsessed and earning the wrath of of a lover scorned, so both her mind and the actual person are playing against her

step 1??, step 2??, step 3 mmaybe hate sex, revenge home wrecking, marking him up and leaving him no excuses, step 4 profit? oh and they should get in a fight that's weirdly sensual at some point, that seems to be the trend lately generally, a lot of fighting, but more mind games than physical fights, but at least one actual physical fight, and all of it unsubtly horny, fighting that makes you think "This scene is about gay sex" idk, my brain is mush, I just want them to aggressively make out, biting, killing, same thing

Clown: I love when Shuichi Saihara is the messiest bitch alive I need him to get his ass handed to him immediately I am looking very hard at the physical fight, who initiates that? What pushes them to start clawing at eachother like two feral cats?? I hope kaede hits them with her car/silly

me: I said god forbid it be Kaede… idk, maybe I could copy Most Heavenly Way to Die's homework and say Shuichi refused to be grouped or paired with Kokichi for something, and Kokichi blew up depends on the setting, it wouldn't even have to be a school thing, it could happen at a party, because they have mutual friends, and Kokichi just gets fed up with the avoidance, don't pretend you weren't just staring, don't you fucking ask someone to switch places with you- or maybe even hears Shuichi lying about why he "doesn't like" him, and that really gets to him because of the combo of dishonesty and talking shit about him and the fact that Shuichi is just full of it like, overhears after somebody casually asked about it I'm seeing it as a most likely college AU, (it'd be honestly cringe of them if they were adults with jobs acting like that, but I don't want to get into the whole bucket of last year of high school cliches either, even though that'd probably make the most sense with the messiness levels)

[a couple days later] I got caught in a music loop so hard that my sister started complaining, but I just wanted to say [screenshot of full lyrics to Sue Me by Sabrina Carpenter] Kokichi bringing that petty vibe to their fighting maybe making eye contact with Shuichi while kissing someone else

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #kokichi oma #oumasai #saiouma #ousai #made by me #writing inspo #writing ideas #writing inspiration #writing prompt #do not put Kaede in the role of the poor gf that gets cheated on. do make the girl hit them with her car. please

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kurov1864 · 1 year ago

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Milgram idol au (pt.9)

008 Amane:

WHY IS THERE A CHILD THAT'S HIRED AS AN IDOL????????????????

Okay anyways. She's not active.

Not officially on hiatus, but she doesn't show up a lot. New Milgram fans get very confused when veterans mentions her because they have never once saw her face.

Only in the debut MV, and maybe in one of the Milgram girls subunit songs. She's busy with school ok. Leave her alone.

Ngl it'll be kinda funny if she acts really differently on and off camera. On camera, she's this super calm, determined, bright and cool idol. Off camera she's this smug smartass who sasses the other idols and literally roasts them for lunch.

Amane still gets included in official, official merch though.

She's very active on social media to make up for the lack of appearances. I would think that most of her current fans would find her account through the initial debut link, then get jumpscared when she actually replies to their comments.

Not as well-known or popular as the other idols, so this allows her to sorta act more personal-like? Basically, she acts like a small streamer. Replying to (almost) every comment, being very active on retweeting fanworks, etc. She's grateful and appreciative for any fans that she has, especially since she understands that it's quite unfair to them

Real fans know that she isn't the cool angel she makes herself out to be. Sorry Amane, but your dry messages on Twitter is NAWT fooling anyone.

Feels like there would be an "inner circle" for her fans, where she actually makes fun of them. In turn, they make sure to repay the favor.

Supporting vocalist. Amane's voice would be light, wispy and airy, just like a fairy. But it can very quickly become intense and passionate. Despite her quote un quote, "cool beauty" image (ignoring the fact that this image is usually reserved for cough OLDER cough members), she has a certain fire burning inside her that she cannot hide, no matter how much she chooses to ignore.

I don't think Amane is as close to the other idols due to a) not living with them, and b) not spending time with them

Notable relationships would be a sibling-like bond with Fuuta (meaning he mocks her for being 12 and she mocks him for being a "redhead"), one-sided child-parent duo with Shidou (Shidou swore he heard Amane hiss when he tried to pet her head after filming the debut MV), cordial mentorship with Kotoko (Amane lowkey looks up to her, despite in her own words "being a closeted furry"), and "strictly business" relationship with Es (they send passive aggressive looks towards each other and speak more corporate than Mikoto)

#kurovwrites #headcanons #milgram #alternate universe #milgram headcanons #amane momose

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restlessmaknae · 2 years ago

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back to life

Jinyoung didn’t deserve to be believed, being misunderstood was his punishment for not being able to help his friend when he would have needed it. He felt like he could have a redemption only if he finished school without anyone talking to him, so why... why did you want to see him when he wanted to be invisible?

➳ Characters: high school senior!Jinyoung x female reader/you

➳ Genre: high school au, coming of age, real-life bittersweet

➳ Words: 5.2k

➳ Warning: due to the connection to the CIX story films, there will be mentions of Yonghee's suicide attempt, bullying, violence, minor character death (Seunghun's mother), blood, hospital visits, plus panic attack, insomnia and a lot of guilt, negative self-talk on Jinyoung's part, reader has a non-specified digestive disorder, so please, do not read the story if you feel triggered by such topics!

➳ A/N: This was a story that I came up with even before the Save me, kill me MV and the following story films (ep. 6-10) were released, so there are parts that do not cover the story films, yet this is my general interpretation of its lore, plus additional fictional parts. Hope you enjoy it! ❤️

➳ CIX taglist: @wccycc, @dat-town

Jinyoung knew that he deserved the glares, the stares, the malicious whispers behind his back. If that was what he had to bear for what he had done (or hadn’t done) to Yonghee, then so be it. He could never suffer as much as his friend had done so.

He deserved it, he knew that, he deserved it all.

So he kept his eyes on the ground, avoiding the endless sea of judgemental faces, shut his ears to block out the noise of rumours, and kept his emotions at bay to prevent further bursts of fury to unleash onto someone who didn’t deserve it. After all, if he had just been kinder to Yonghee, if he had just treated him gently instead of using violence, maybe this would have not happened… If… In this world, ifs didn’t amount to anything. They couldn’t bring back the happy memories they shared, they couldn’t turn back time prior to the tragedy, and they couldn’t magically bring Yonghee to consciousness. Despite the fact that the boy was still alive, the heart monitor beside his hospital bed indicating that his heart hadn’t given up, the doctors weren’t that positive regarding his condition.

“He fell from such a high building…”

“He lost so much blood…”

“The fall was rough, he hurt himself badly…”

As if the boy hadn’t struggled enough before, he was still in so much pain, and seeing his body attached to all those wires, oxygen mask on his scarred face, impossibly white sheets covering his injured body, Jinyoung felt even worse. Whenever he visited his friend in the hospital, whenever he looked at Yonghee’s face, he was reminded of their last encounter, and it was enough for him to want to scratch at his skin for it was too unbearable to deal with the consequences of his own actions.

Even though Hyunsuk had tried to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, Jinyoung didn’t believe him. After all, Yonghee had jumped the day he had pushed him to the shelves, yelling at him, asking if he had been crazy to want to hurt himself over a bad grade. He could never understand the obsession of Yonghee’s parents regarding their son’s good grades, let alone how much it impacted the boy since he himself had never been a good student, nor had he tried to be one.

If he could have just been a bit more empathetic, if he had just opened his eyes to the signs a little earlier…

Jinyoung felt the rush of guilt creeping into his veins, taking over his heart and mind, and he welcomed the feeling almost like a familiar visitor by now. He balled his hands into fists, his nails digging deep into the flesh as he tried to let it wash through him, let it drown him. He wanted nothing more than to drown in this feeling, but reality always brought him back to life - this time, it was you.

“Oh, sorry,” you apologised hastily as you noticed the boy sitting on the floor between two bookshelves, and he looked up, albeit a bit hazily. It was as if you had woken him up from a stupor, he still didn’t feel like his senses were his, his surroundings were real. It was always like this when guilt pulled him under.

He kept quiet, waiting for you to break eye-contact or outright leave this particular section of the school library that he had found to be quiet, so he could hide here while the others were having lunch at the canteen. Not that he had a good appetite these past few weeks, but bearing the watching eyes of others while eating would have been too much, all too much. So just like before, he was a coward, and cowardly chose the easier path - running away.

After transferring schools, somehow rumours followed him, and now everyone here thought that he had killed a student aggressively at his previous school, and he had only managed to avoid juvy because his parents were rich and bribed the jury. While in reality, Yonghee’s case was classified as a suicide attempt for now, and the boy had neither died, nor had Jinyoung been the bully in his case. Not that it mattered when his friend was still lying in bed, still in a coma.

“Do you mind if I join?” You inquired instead of leaving, and confusion brought Jinyoung back to the here and now. Why were you trying to join him when he was a so-called murderer? And why did you bring your lunch box to the library? Did you not eat at the canteen like the others?

He merely looked at you, unfazed, and only spoke up when you didn’t leave.

“Why? Don’t you believe what they say about me?”

“I don’t,” came the answer immediately, and the fast response took the boy aback. “If you had indeed killed someone, and your parents would have bribed the jury, they would probably not want anyone else to know about the bribery, so word wouldn’t have gotten around. Besides, you would probably not be as lifeless as you are now if you had indeed killed someone in cold blood,” you explained thoroughly, your tone almost diplomatic. Ah, now he knew who you were - not by your face but by your voice. You were the top student of the other class, and you went to English classes together. You were always the one who had to give the right answer when no one wanted to speak up.

“Why believe in my innocence when you don’t even know me?” Jinyoung protested, not letting the topic drop. He didn’t deserve to be believed, being misunderstood was his punishment for not being able to help his friend when he would have needed it. He felt like he could have a redemption only if he finished school without anyone talking to him, but instead, looking down on him, and labelling him as a murderer.

So why, why did you want to see him when he wanted to be invisible?

“I know prejudices are scarcely right, and besides… you are in my usual hideout place,” you remarked as you pointed around you. Jinyoung could have believed that the autobiography section of the school library wasn’t that frequently visited, but for you to have it as your usual hideout place meant that you must have frequented it.

Jinyoung found himself unable to say anything to that, and you took that as a sign of approval, so you lowered yourself down and sat on the ground, your back to the shelf opposite of the one Jinyoung leaned towards. You were at a decent distance from each other, but the boy still felt oddly bare given the visibility. It was as if he was afraid that you would get to know how torn and broken he was if you got any closer. Which you didn’t, thankfully.

Instead, you opened your lunch box, and took a bite from your seemingly homemade food. You stared at the books in front of you instead of looking at him, and he was both relieved and frustrated by this. All of this just for you to sit there to eat?

On the other hand, Jinyoung knew that he had no reason to question you. Not you out of all people. So he just let you have your lunch in peace while he was slipping back into his own self-destructive thoughts, glad that they didn’t change. Someone like you might have believed that he was innocent, but Jinyoung knew very well that he wasn’t. If anything, he might have been the worst of them all. Even Seunghun could forgive Yonghee after what had happened to Seunghun’s mother, but why couldn’t Jinyoung move on from that day and wish for his friend to wake up?

Because he knew very well that he would need to face him, and he wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t sure that he would ever be.

Jinyoung should have known that when you meant that the autobiography section in the school library was your hideout place, you meant that you went there frequently, but he didn’t give it too much thought. In fact, he didn’t really give anything too much thought apart from how he should have been there for Yonghee, and how much he wished he could have turned back time to make everything right.

On the other hand, you did come back day after day, and the boy didn’t have the heart to send you away, nor did he find a different hideout place when students were all over the building and the schoolyards during lunch break, so there was nowhere else to hide. Here though, no one bothered you. To be precise, Jinyoung was bothered by your presence at first, but since you didn’t push him for answers, you just greeted him when he showed up or vice versa, and finished your lunch in silence, he couldn’t find a reason to be bothered by you. He merely didn’t understand why you weren’t bothered by him.

“Why don’t you eat with the others?” He found himself asking once, eyes narrowing as his eyes found yours. You blinked a few times at him as if you were surprised that he had actually asked a question from you, and gulped down your food before answering.

“I don’t have any friends, and I don’t want anyone to comment on my food. I have enough of that on school trips,” you sighed out, your voice carrying an all too familiar emotion - bitterness. Raw, deeply personal, and fragile. Bitterness wasn’t a feeling that he had been familiar with before, but now, if one emotion could embody what he was going through, it would be this one big mess of bitterness without seemingly an end in sight.

The boy assumed that you would leave it at that, but you didn’t. He found that he didn’t exactly mind.

“I have gut problems, so I need to bring my own food, but they make fun of it as if I chose to eat this way. You don’t realise how isolating it can be when you can’t eat the food that others eat, but here, no one bothers me,” you added as you looked around the huge, still shelves of books that could indeed not ask stupid questions, let alone judge her for spending her lunch break here. He could understand the sentiment well.

“That’s ridiculous,” he snorted in disbelief, but your lips trembled and sadness moved into your eyes, so he felt the need to add. “That they make fun of you for that, I mean. It’s not your fault,” he justified solemnly, and your shoulders easened as if you had been bearing a weight for so long that had just come off now.

“You’re the first person who says that at school.”

Jinyoung was about to open his mouth, but he couldn’t utter a word. It had never been him who had caught onto someone’s change in their body language or who was said to be the most empathetic. After all, if he had been, Yonghee wouldn’t have laid in a hospital bed… So for you to voice out that he was the first one who took your side, he didn’t even know if he should have protested or shared that it was only natural in his eyes.

He closed his mouth, and looked down at his own intertwined fingers - ones that pushed those away who wanted to keep him close, ones that pushed Yonghee away quite literally when he should have needed help the most. He felt himself going back into his usual spiral of destructive thoughts when your voice pulled him out.

Again.

“Where’s your lunch? Aren’t you eating?”

He was so surprised by the question that his eyebrows elevated and his eyes widened. He was sure that he seemed pretty dumbfounded because you let out a short-lived yet beautiful (thus fragile) giggle, and explained that you figured out that he was here during lunch break because he didn’t want to eat with the others. However, unlike you, he didn’t have food with him.

“I don’t feel like eating.”

“You should. You need the energy to bear all the weight of those malicious rumours,” you pointed out almost gently, giving him a small smile before turning back to your food and proceeding to eat.

You didn’t say a word afterwards, nor did he, but now he wasn’t sure whether his lack of response was because he didn’t find it in himself to tell you that he didn’t care, that he was fine, that he deserved it, that you didn’t know anything, or because he was awestruck by the fact that someone cared. That you cared whether he ate or not, whether he was affected by the malicious rumours or not.

That you cared about him in the first place.

Jinyoung wouldn’t deem it a habit, but you still came back day after day, and he did come back day after day as well, and somehow you fell into this unfamiliar rhythm of silences filled with occasional, more or less vulnerable questions, and his heart was open to answer them. Even when you inquired whether he didn’t want to fix the broken watch around his wrist and he said that it was a friend’s, so he didn’t want to, he didn’t mind telling you, and you didn’t push for more details, so he left it at that.

He didn’t admit though that the watch was Yonghee’s, and that he found it with a torn glass lens on the rooftop of the school - from where Yonghee had jumped from. He had picked it up alongside the boy’s phone, and selfishly kept the watch, so that it could remind him of the only time that mattered - of his friend’s lifespan; so that it could be a compass for him - to show where he was supposed to go; so that it could be a guide for him - to indicate what he was supposed to do, what was the right thing to do. Such as not beating up the bullies at his previous school even though he had wanted to.

You also shared how tough it was to constantly live up to the expectations of your parents, teachers and classmates, and how you were always supposed to give the right answer even if you were an outcast, even if you were ridiculed for your health problems, even if you were never enough. Hearing that, Jinyoung couldn’t help but be reminded of Yonghee (when wasn’t he reminded of his friend, honestly?), but you seemed to be floating above all the criticism well.

When he inquired how you managed, you shared that you worked with a therapist, and the boy was surprised both to hear that and to hear you admit that, yet you confessed that asking for professional help had probably been the best decision of your life. You knew either way that school would be over soon - as you were seniors -, and you hoped university would be different. Besides, you hoped that you would meet people who could understand you like you had found Jinyoung.

The boy was never one to feel touched, but when you confessed that you deemed him someone who could accept you for who you were, he felt immensely moved. He was overcome with this inward urge, this deep want to keep you safe that was just so jarring, he felt like catching his breath while only staying still. Yet, he couldn’t tell whether it was because he didn’t want history to repeat itself or because he genuinely wanted it to stay this way. He was, as always, torn, and he wasn’t sure whether he could get an answer to his turmoil of emotions.

Nevertheless, when you didn’t come to the library for a few days, Jinyoung immediately jumped to worrisome conclusions, and he even went as far as to ask from your homeroom teacher whether you were absent because of an illness or because something had happened to you. The elderly man reassured him that you caught some bug, so you would probably come back a few days later, and unbeknownst to him, he was relieved, lungs working to full capacity again, heart quitting those crazy palpitations he had while worse and worse scenarios were going through his head.

Interestingly so, the next time you met wasn’t even in the library, but at the sports day event where everyone was supposed to participate, at least as spectators, and he found you sitting alone on the bench of the grandstand, so he headed towards you.

You looked up as he approached, and there was a small smile hiding in the corner of your lips as you realised who he was. Upon the sight, he was yet again overcome by that feeling of protectiveness. He knew that just as much as he could make you smile, he could hurt you as well, and he didn’t want that, but he didn’t want to run away either. Not from you. Not from someone who didn’t push him for questions, who didn’t care that he didn’t talk a lot about his past, who didn’t care that odd rumours were spread about him.

Besides, his internal turmoil in the past few days prompted him to appreciate the time you two could spend together, and so he wanted to keep these times within an arm reach, he didn’t want them to slip through his fingers, to crush and burn, and be just a faded, bitter memory in the future of what ifs and could haves.

So he took the first step towards you, and then the next, and before he knew it, he was sitting beside you, both of you watching the currently playing students on the field.

“You didn’t come in the past few days,” he pointed out matter-of-factly while still keeping his eyes on the football match. He saw from the corner of his eyes that your shoulders tensed a bit, and you audibly took in a deep breath before answering.

“Yeah, well… I wasn’t really feeling well. The meds that I’m taking for my gut suppress not only the harmful stuff but the beneficial bacteria, so I’m more susceptible to illnesses. It’s not the first time it happened either,” you concluded a bit bitterly, and he could hear the hurt in your voice. Though you tried to mask it, though he had not always been good at picking up on the signs, he could tell that your condition bothered you - the fact that you were tending to one illness while leading the way for others.

“Are you feeling better now?” Jinyoung inquired genuinely after clearing his throat, and looked at you just in time for you to look at him. As your gazes connected, something inside of him burst, and it flew through him in waves of warm, comforting reassurance. Just the fact that you were beside him, seemingly safe and sound, lifted such a heavy weight off his shoulders, he felt like he could breathe again.

At least for the lifespan of this conversation.

“Yeah, I think so. Don’t worry.”

“I didn’t,” the boy tried to protest immediately, but you narrowed your eyes as if you were trying to decide whether to question his words or not. In the end, you did speak up.

“The homeroom teacher told me that you asked about me. He thought I was tutoring you or something like that, and that’s why you asked about me,” you replied without batting an eye, however, Jinyoung couldn’t bear to look at you anymore. Instead, he looked away, finding the currently running boys on the field much more interesting.

The truth is, the boy didn’t know why he was embarrassed about the situation. Worrying about someone after what had happened to Yonghee was still an unfamiliar feeling to him. He didn’t even know he was concerned about you until you didn’t show up at the library, but if there was one thing he had learned from the past few months behind him, it was that he couldn’t take anything for granted. Or anyone, for that matter.

“Anyways, do you want to exchange contacts? At least, I can tell you next time if something like this happens,” you suggested warily, breaking the silence that fell upon the two of you. Jinyoung slowly shifted his eyes from the field to you, but you were looking down at your intertwined fingers, your phone resting under your hands.

“Sure,” he found himself saying even though he wasn’t sure that it was him speaking. Even you were a tad bit surprised that he had given it so quickly, but either way, you exchanged contacts before you were called for a jogging race and needed to leave him behind.

Nevertheless, as you were walking down the stairs, you halted and looked back over your shoulder, directing a gentle smile in the boy’s direction. Whenever he saw you smile like that, the only thought that he had was for how long you could smile like that before he would paint it with agony and hurt, before he would ruin your blossom of affection, before he would break the heart you held out to him.

“Thank you. For worrying about me.”

Your voice broke through the overwhelming mass of his own destruction that was ready to bring him down anytime, and suddenly, in that moment, his heart whispered something else: maybe your smile was one for change, one for hope.

Jinyoung knew that they all blamed themselves for what had happened to Yonghee, and they had all changed since their friend had tried to commit suicide. Byounggon, for one, had dropped out of school altogether after he had realised that he had no power as someone who lived alone on a rooftop, abandoned by his parents, struggling to make ends meet with school and his part-time job. He had started working full-time instead. Seunghun, who had aspired to become a dancer before, had given up on dancing after he had not been able to go back to the practice room because it always reminded him of how his mother had died. He was completely lost for now. Hyunsuk, who had always tried to do well at school - to gain his parents’ love and his father’s attention who lived far away since his parents’ divorce - had started dropping in rank, even going as far as attempting to steal because he could no longer tolerate who he was, and how the supposed-to-be perfect Yoon Hyunsuk had not been able to help his friend because he had been blinded by his own suffering.

And Jinyoung, well… He had changed schools, but his guilt followed him everywhere. His parents said that they didn’t even recognise him anymore, but Jinyoung couldn’t either. Whenever he looked into the mirror, he saw his friend’s face as he had grabbed Yonghee by the collar and pushed him to the shelves, and he wished he could break the mirror, punch the glass until his knuckles bled, scream at the top of his lungs until he became speechless. The truth is, he felt like a part of him had died on the day Yonghee had jumped from the rooftop. Living was painful, but sleeping wasn’t peaceful either. He was constantly tormented by nightmares, and not even the sleeping pills could help - they helped with actually going to sleep, but not with chasing away his nightmares.

He wasn’t one to believe in miracles because he had tasted the bitterness of life, but you, you seemed to shine some light in the darkness. A kind of light that warmed him but also scared him at the same time. What if you were suffering in silence, and he wasn’t able to help? Again. What if he was to hurt you, either literally or figuratively? Again. What if he couldn’t take care of you? Again. The thought of anything happening to you made his already agonising days even more frightening. Staying away from you seemed as much of a bad idea as getting closer to you. He was truly lost in his sea of emotions, he felt like drowning.

And just when he thought that he was doing better, he realised that the hardest part was still left: letting go of the guilt when his friend’s state was still uncertain. However, if you hadn’t told him to think from Yonghee’s point of view, he would have never realised that Yonghee would want him to be happy. Yet, he had a panic attack once when you were in the library and he got a message from Seunghun saying that Yonghee’s heart had stopped for a while, but they had managed to resuscitate him. Afterwards, words just spilled out from him, and it was like an avalanche: sweeping everything up into the air, raging through slopes and destroying anything that got in its way.

Jinyoung told you that he blamed himself for everything, and that he was the reason his friend had still not woken up, and you let him speak until his mouth ran dry, until his words bled together, until his heart was finally brought out from the shadows, put in front of you to hold and decide whether to break it or tend to it.

You seemed to decide on the latter.

“It’s hard to say for sure at times like this, but usually, a decision like this is more about a handful of different things coming together at the wrong time, and consequences seeming daunting. Your friend might have also wanted things to be different,” you mentioned tentatively after you had let him tell you whatever he wanted. He figured that you had a feeling that if you interrupted him, you would hold him back from sharing the whole story, and he was sure that it could have gone down that way because he wasn’t one to talk about his emotions, especially not the ones regarding Yonghee.

“I don’t know…”

“He might have been happy while you had been together. It might have given him strength to hold out for so long. Something in him still wants to fight,” you reasoned gently, your words rolling off like drops of rain on a tranquil night just between fall and winter.

These were just words, mere syllables put together, but Jinyoung was struck, he felt his heart clench, his mind flooded with the memories they had made in the movie club, flashbacks of Yonghee smiling, the twinkling eyes of the boy, the childish giggle of his… and in that moment, Jinyoung realised that his mind was clouded by all the pain of the past few months, and he couldn’t see the joy, the care, the happiness before… It was as if everything else had been erased from his life apart from his wrongdoings and the events that followed Yonghee’s fall.

And in that moment, he found himself collapsing like pillars of a building that gave in to the massive weight on top of them, and cries broke out of him. Ugly, raw, heart-wrenching sobs that you didn’t try to muffle, you didn’t try to calm down, you merely let him like it all out.

And for that, he would always be thankful because he felt like he had been holding out for so long, he had tried to keep it all together before because he couldn’t crumble, he couldn’t cause more pain to others around him, but maybe it wasn’t about being a burden to others, it was about being human.

After so long without being in the same room together that was not the hospital ward, the four boys got together to read Yonghee’s letter, back at the music club of their old school. To be precise, Jinyoung and Byounggon’s old school. And you were right, Yonghee confessed in his letter that the only happy times he had were the ones he had with the four of them. Damn it, you were right.

No wonder tears were shed, words were exchanged, and after watching the movie they had worked on together, Jinyoung felt like something mended. It was as if with Yonghee’s fall, they had all fallen apart like broken pieces of a vase because there wasn’t a glue anymore that held them together - there wasn’t Yonghee there to keep them together. Yet, now they were together like this again. For a while after what felt like eternity, they were themselves again. It felt like maybe they forgave themselves. Not entirely but maybe forgiveness wasn’t as far as they had thought so.

And coincidentally, the next morning when Jinyoung was at school, zoning out during Maths class, he received a message in the groupchat that Yonghee had woken up. He didn’t think twice, he disregarded the exclaims of the teacher, the stares of his classmates and ran through corridors, streets, hallways, hopped on and off buses until his legs could give in and fall to the ground beside Yonghee’s bed.

Byounggon was already there, but through the waterfall of his tears, Jinyoung couldn’t see what state the boy was in, he could only see Yonghee's face breaking free from the stern lines - the ones that made him resemble a statue for so long - and his eyes - wide and bright as usually - focusing on him.

“Jinyoung…” He muttered quietly, and his voice - the one he could only listen to in videos on his phone before - seemed both familiar and brand new. He couldn’t believe his ears. His friend had not only woken up, but he also remembered him. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he added, voice raspy and words a bit uncertain, but the message was there, and if Jinyoung could fall even deeper, he would have.

“Thank you…. Thank you so… much… for coming back,” Jinyoung cried out, interrupted by his jarring sobs. Yonghee’s lips curled upwards slowly, and Jinyoung found himself smiling with him through his tears. Gosh, just how easy it was to smile again.

He didn’t know what he would have done if Yonghee’s heart had given up for good, but now, he knew that he wouldn’t take anything for granted again. Not his friend’s silent plea for help, not his parents’ support towards him, not his friends’ care, not the smiles and laughs and jokes, not the silly little nothings and the “I’ve told you so” sentences, and not you as well, not the chances he had been given to feel alive again, not the friends he had mended his relationship with again, and not the bond you two had created. He would cherish all of it as much as he could, and make sure that he would voice it out. Because he now knew that life was so precious, and despite it being hard on the living, it might have been more difficult on those who had left or chosen to leave.

Something within him gave in, and he felt like his lungs were working on full capacity, but not because he couldn’t breathe - but because he was ready to welcome more air, more life. He was coming back to life bit by bit.

A/N: If you or someone is in need, don't hesitate to reach out for help! A list of worlwide helplines can be found here.

We are never alone.

I want to clarify that I believe one could be a support to a person struggling, but it's still the person in question who has to find the will in themselves to keep going. So I purposefully didn't make it into a romance-focused story where the reader "saves" Jinyoung because Jinyoung needed to forgive himself and "save" himself, but the way the reader supported him, showed him a different way of life and put things into a different perspective helped him tremendously to deal with everything that he was going through. They both helped each other, to be precise.

In my story, I wanted Yonghee to wake up from the start, but only after the boys forgive themselves, yet in the story films, I think there might be a different ending regarding Yonghee's condition. However, we can see the boys slowly coming together and moving on in their own way, and I wanted to showcase that same kind of hopefulness by the end of the story.

I'm super proud of CIX for having such a storyline, for taking it so seriously and for showcasing all the different ways a person can deal with such things and find some salvation. Super proud of them for their acting, too!

As for my story, I know it might not be able to do the storyline justice, but I hope it could spark something in your nevertheless. Thank you so so so much for reading it!❤️

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for CIX or for other bands, consider signing up for my taglist here.

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️

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