#i like that i did a bigger piece for her joke birthday that is 100 percent not real

[tillman]

happy 2nd birthday to millia rage . they got slurpees for 7/11 .

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 507

OK QUICK QUESTION, OUTLANDER WRITERS, IF YOU’VE STILL BEEN CAPABLE OF MAKING EPISODES THIS GOOD THEN HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY MAKING *GESTURES AT THE LAST FEW SEASONS* ALL THAT SHIT?!

This is literally the first episode of Outlander in fucking *years* that I have liked and actually meant it. Like, I *wanted* to watch it again. I cannot remember the last time I’ve wanted to rewatch an episode rather than it feeling like “fandom homework.”

Their track record over the last few years has me worried this was a fluke. And they just accidentally did a good job, and we’ll be back to mediocrity next week. But...y’all. What if the show actually gets good again? You know, that thing we’ve been hoping would happen for 84 fucking years...

*attempts to keep expectations in check while simultaneously being excited to actually have positive feelings toward the show again*

(Now can we have a Claire-centric episode that isn’t about rape and/or the usual ye olde times violence against women?)

Nudity AND sexual content warnings at the start? It’s a quarantine miracle!

Am I the only one who isn’t so much a fan of the voiceovers?

Opening with Roger singing, and the title, made me rull skeptical of how much I’d like this episode. Glad he was just the B plot.

*mentally prepares for next week, because ugh, fuck that guy*

At least we won’t have singalongs anymore? *runs away*

The shots of the camp and stuff reminded me again how glad I am that this season feels much less claustrophobic overall than last year.

JAMIE IS HAVING A SUPER SOFT BIRTHDAY PARTY!

LOOKIT THESE SOFT AF FRASERS!

MY BABIES ARE SO ADORABLE AND CUDDLY AND KISSY AND SNUGGLY AND MAKING DICK JOKES!

Move over Marilyn. I have a new favorite version of Happy Birthday.

Now quick, sing it a second time. I need a very sexy hand washing timer.

Ok but two of the English soldiers have the same last names as two people I work with but don’t particularly like. Eeeep.

99 yellow cockades on the wall, 99 yellow cockades. Take one down pass it around, 99 yellow cockades on the wall!

Update, I’m still not interested in the Browns or Isiah. But I guess if they’re gonna do what they’re probs gonna do next year, they have to make the Browns’ beef with Jamie a bigger thing than one episode... Le sigh.

Omfg the scene with the Findlay boys. They’re so young! Jamie’s giving them advice! They’re gonna follow the advice! And it’s gonna be tragic af! Literally perfect choice, tbh.

Tryon is such a condescending douchecanoe. Just going full Javert here.

Why the fuck is Bree in Hillsborough, though? Besides, needing to be conveniently there for Plotty McPlotterson reasons.

The more they say Alamance, the more all I can think of is Salamence. Which is fitting considering what happens to fellow ‘mon Roger MacSeedot at the end of the episode.

A+ choice moving Jamie calling on Dougal to here rather than before the flaming dildo.

Especially given a certain piece of stunt casting...

“My professor said that some people consider this to be the spark of the American Revolution.” *stares in Boston*

“Ye say some people believe this is the spark. Couldn't the spark alight from somewhere else?” “Yes, it could. You know, in Boston. Where you grew up. Your professor in Cambridge can shove it.”

If Harvard wasn’t closed because of the ‘rona, I’d march down there and give that fictional professor from decades ago a piece of my mind.

They’re really putting a lot of faith in a fucking handkerchief. Don’t see how that could go wrong.

“Now go. Be ready for the morrow.” And then all the Regulators sit down around their fires and sing Drink with Me.

Yes, I’m still on the “this season is Les Mis fanfic” train.

Ok but Murtz was ready to die at Culloden for a cause he believed in *with* Jamie and now, after hearing what Roger has to say, he’s ready to die here for a cause he believes in *against* Jamie* AND I AM FULL OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

*yes, I know that Jamie’s not 100% into it and definitely isn’t actually on the side of Murtz’s enemy.

“You have farmers, with knives and pitchforks.” *queues up Turning*

How fucking far away was this creek though that it took all fucking night to get there? Now is not the time for a sleepover party, Roger.

PERSONAL SPACE BUBBLE, ROGER, PERSONAL SPACE BUBBLE!

At least he doesn’t fucking kiss her, but you are *such* a dumbass, Roger.

LOL @ DOUGAL 2.0

They do love them some stunt casting on this show, don’t they.

Ok but making Jamie wear a red coat is a great fucking choice. And I know I shit on Heughan a lot, but his face as Jamie puts it on shows literally every emotion and his entire history with the men who wear those coats without saying a word.

Ok but since they cast Graham McTavish as a bit of a joke, does this mean we aren’t going to be subjected to Roger and Buck’s adventures through time? Because omfg I hate that shit so much. I mean, it’d be on brand for the show to make us watch an abusive husband gallivant around as a buddy of one of the leads, but it wouldn’t be a good look.

Buck!Dougal must have one of the previous season’s wigs. Because what is that dead thing on his head, haha.

Ditto what I said about Heughan re: Caitriona’s face when she see’s Jamie in the coat.

I AM STILL TRASH FOR THE SOLDIER THING.

Also, this is a good example of book shit worked in. Not awkwardly shoehorned in like they usually do.

Kinda bummed that Nurse Marsali is out of action, but get why Bree’s there. Whatevs. Can we get more Nurse Marsali soon?

The Browns are super obvious about trying to kill the person they’ve told everyone they want to kill.

Also like fuck the Browns for breaking her magic needle, but Claire, girl, keep a better grip on that shit.

THE MOURNFUL VERSION OF THE JE SUIS PREST/PRESTONPANS MUSIC IS PUNCHING ME IN THE FEELS.

FUCK THE ENGLISH, TBH. THEN AND NOW.

Also, why the fuck didn’t JAMMF ditch the coat as soon as they went into the woods? Not the smartest idea to run around in a bright fucking target, buddy.

OMG IT’S SO PERFECT THAT ONE OF THE FINDLAY’S DID IT. War is awful. War is random. And having a fucking pretty much child following the advice of his commanding officer, thinking he’s protecting his Colonel, be the one to kill Murtz is just the most perfectly tragic choice.

“Dinna be afraid... It doesn’t hurt a bit to die.” *sobs in Voyager*

I love that it’s Jamie’s men, who are ostensibly fighting for the English, are the ones who help him with Murtagh. Because, after all, they’re loyal to their chief and new clan, not the crown.

OMG ALL OF THEIR FACES THOUGH! JAMIE WITH THE GRIEF AND DENIAL AND ANGER AND BARGAINING! CLAIRE WITH THE GRIEF AND ACCEPTANCE! BREE WITH THE GRIEF AND DEPRESSION!

(Maybe not depression with Bree, I was just trying to fit in all five stages of grief.)

I’m obviously super sad to be losing Murtz, but this does feel like a good way to end his arc. With the added bonus of putting Jamie on the path to join the Revolution in a few years.

I’M JUST GONNA MISS THAT CROTCHETY FUCKER SO MUCH, OK! *drinks wine straight from the bottle*

Jamie ripping Tryon a new one is...not smart. But it’s what we all wish we could yell at the fuckwad. So carry on, JAMMF.

He’s being very Beauchamp-esque with this rant.

“I’ve paid my debt... and I’m finished with my obligation to you and to the crown.” Is that how that works though?

“You may have your coat back, sir.” A Mood™

I’m glad Claire kept his little scrap of plaid.

Ngl, I loved the Claire and Murtz relationship more than the Jamie and Murtz one. I am very sad for Claire.

Oh man, they are trickily ending on a high note*. We may have lost Murtz, but at least we’re rid of Roger!

*YMMV, don’t @ me.

But alas, next episode starts the saga of Emo!Roger. You can tell he’s gonna be alive because they show his one hand slipped from the handcuff rope and up at his neck rope.

We’ll deal with that next time. For this week, I’m just so fucking glad I’m still able to love this show and feel actually feelings while watching it.

I’ve missed that. So fucking much.

[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviews Stuff: Steven Universe: The Answer

Happy pride everyone and naturally, it just wouldn’t feel like a celebration of pride in animation without one of the frontrunners of LBGTQ represintation in Children’s television, as well as quality in storytelling in general: Steven Universe.  Since your seeing this you probably know the gist but as my idol peter parker would say let’s do this one last time:  The story of Steven, a 14 year old, though he dosen’t look it, boy with a boundless amount of love, compassion and empathy,  lives in beach city with his borderline homeless dad , surrogate moms and surrogate until we find out they actually are kinda related sister: Garnet, a fusion of two gems in love and thus the sum total of both them and their feelings, Peal, an emotional but loving gem who grew from a servant to Rose’s right hand, sometimes lover, and confidant, and Amythest, a gem born long after the war that brought everyone else here who acts like a 20 something or teenager half the time. Steven soon finds himself fighting alongside themt o protect earth both from the monsters caused by the final battle of the war his mother fought to save earth from distruction and let her army live life how they choose, and the gem homeworld as it starts to take an intrest in earth again. And as the fight goes on Steven also starts to see just how flawed his family is and how much they haven’t moved on from his moms death and finds himself forced to help them past it while grappling with his mom’s terrible and complicated legacy, everyone expecitng him to basically be her, and what it means to be a  being that’s truly one of a kind.  I absolutley love the show: it’s not without flaws; Characters tend to be ingnored for seasons or episodes at a time,some arcs are really weirdly paced and the slice of life episodes can be jammed in the weirdest places. But the show’s strength: a devotion to having emotional resolution be even more important, and sometimes just as powerful animated and framed, than fighting, though the show’s fight scene’s are incredible, incredibly deep characters with fully fleshed out arcs and growth, and a love for tackling deep, heavy subjects through metaphor or even directly, taking on things such as gender identity, societal conformity, ptsd, grief, gender identity and many many more with grace and weight and helping kids with them in the process.  The show is also the frontrunner for LBGTQ+ representation in cartoons in the 2010′s. While other shows had bits nad pieces, series creator Rebecca Sugar was the one responsible for making Marcline and Princess Bubblegum ex-lovers and making it obvious as possible without saying it because standards were bullshit, Steven Unvierse decided to say fuck subtley and thus had PLENTY OF gay content: Garnet is a fusion of two women and the embodiment of their love and relationship, and when the two show up their very affectionate with one another to the point of bullcrap censorship in less tolerant countries such as india and russia, while Pearl out and out had a CENTURIES LONG romantic relationship with Steven’s mother who was explictly pansexual, and that’s just the main cast!  But I genuinely believe that it’s thanks to Steven Universe that children’s animation is as LBGTQ+ positive as it is now. SU wasn’t the first to have gay leads but it was one of the few kids shows with the balls and, at least in the us, network support to explictily have gay characters as some of the main cast, and I feel the show’s success softend execs at CN and other companies to let more representation too. Since SU”s airing, most CN shows have had gay content great and small, Nick has had gay parents and a bisexual lead, not to mention the korra ending kicking it all off, and Netflix has said hold my beer, having not only multiple gay main characters, but having the finale of she ra be built on a decleration of love between two women saving the universe and being the climax of the entire series.  Not that those crews likely still didn’t have to FIGHT for most of that, i’m not bilind and NOelle Stevenson has outright admitted she had to be sneaky about catradora for season 1 as to not get it shut down, but I feel SU”s sucess and Rebecca and crew’s own likely fights put the various studio goon’s reflector shields down and got more representation into children’s media. And that’s a wonderful thing.  So naturally the show was a lock for this month and for coverage here.. i’ts just given the show’s heavily seralized nature and the fact it dosen’t really have any long romantic story arcs. Sure ther’es plenty of romance, but it’s mostly either in the past or between an already married couple that’s also a person. The show’s arcs were more focused on worldbuilding and character building, which I do prefer and will be doing one in July.  But it did make it tricky to find an episode to spotlight the character I wanted to spotlight: Garnet Garnet is easily my faviorite character, with pearl a very close second: she has a great dynamic, is a decent if flawed mother and leader, and is also damn funny with her deadpanned reactions to things being utterly divine. As well as whatever the hell this is. 

The problem is I also wanted to spotlight the parts making up her: Ruby and Sapphire, their relationship etc as they themselves are fantastic and i’m 100% convinced were the inspriation for one mr mc skat kat and one paula abdul’s magnum opus in steven’s unvierse

The problem is most rupphire episodes are tangled in bigger arcs. They debuted at the end of the invasion arc, they had the baseball episdoe together shortly after another arc, and their wedding is tied up in the reveal rose was pink diamond and the reception is crashed by the climactic battle with Yellow and Blue that sets up the final arc of the whole series. But thankfully season two gave us The Answer to my problem.. ironically named the Answer, basically Garnet Year One as Garnet tells steven how she came to be, a story so beauitful they made a storybook out of it.. and it’s my honor to present it here after the cut. 

We open at the Barn... as a refresher at this point the Gems and Steven have been staying at Greg’s old family farm in order to have the  space and suplies to build a drill to stop the cluster from hatching and destroying earth, with Peridot reluctantly working with them. So as such Steven’s sleeping there when Garnet wakes her.. and in a notable departure for her it’s san’s shade, which shows her adorable excitment as she wakes Steven. Turns out it’s his birthday! And.. I don’t really begrudge the show for takin ga break for two episodes to celebrate it: besides being the only time steven went up a year, on screen, it was a nice break from the peridot/cluster storyline for a second, and this and the following episode are pretty great and both add a lot to the world as a whole. It’s why i don’t MIND when SU takes a break from the plot, as long as they do it for good reason. 

IN a great callback steven asks if garent’s going to tell him she’s a fusion, as Jailbreak revealed the reason she hadn’t yet is she was saving it for his birthday, which is a good joke and a great callback. Garnet cheerfully tells him know but has clearly found a backup: While steven knows she’s a fusion now.. she never told him how she came to be and how ruby and sapphire met after all.  So we journey back about 5000 years to, as we’d learn much later with the pink diamond reveal, the start of the gem war. Earth was to be the next great colony, as we’d learn next season for pink diamond, but something was in the way: The rebel rose quartz and her brutal right hand pearl were causing tons of distruption, so the rest of the diamonds had come to snuff out the rebellion personally.  So that’s where Ruby and Sapphire came in. Sapphire is a higher class gem, and befiting her caste is a precog, with Sapphires brought in to tell the diamonds the future so they can either make sure it happens or change it’s course. Garnet neaturally has this ablility too but vastly improved to see multiple timelines. She’s proper and distant.  Ruby meanwhile is a shy, if more intellgent then her peers grunt soldier. Rubies as we learned here are basically made in groups to fuse. To homeworld, Fusion is simply a tactic to create a slightly stronger gem out of three other gems, and basically creates one giant person. In Contrast up to this point the series has shown fusion as something important to the crystal gems and requriing more work: It requires all parties to be in sync to even happen much less stay together, and requires an emotional connection; Freindship, romance, kinship... whatever it is it’s needed to hold the fusion together. It’s part of what MAKES garnet so impressive: Garnet is a permafusion, only unfusing either when her two halves are needed. or when thier personal conflict is so great they CAN’T stay fused. It also means due to said emotional resonance and combining the best traits of two gems rather than creating just one big gem, that the crystal fusions we’ve seen are vastly more powerful and versitale.. evne if they dont’ speak much because Rebecca made the mistake of getting big artist to do the role and apparently refused to just you know.. recast? It’s something that always baffled me. There’s no shortage of talented poc performers who can sing out there.  Anyways, that’s part of what makes this intresting: up till now, we’d only seen one form of fusion.. we hadn’t seen what homeworld thought of it and used it for, and to the show’s credit it was hinted back during the return arc when Jasper called fusion a “tactic for making weak gems stronger”, since as far as homeworld used it, that’s what it was and it’s a stark contrast to the crystal gems harder to maintain but much more intresting and unique fusions. 

We’ll get more into this later. The two front rubies argue about whose going to punch people whie our ruby just points out the obvious: Their just going to fuse into a really big ruby and punch together. This gets her shoved into sapphire, which despite not being her fault gets gasps and monocle pops from the gems around them. And it’s about time I dug into the episodes unique animation style: instead of the usual, only a handful of characters, the rubies, sapphire, and later rose and pearl, are animated normally and even then, at least for the first half, are brightly lit in their primary colors, while the rest of the gems present are just barely animated sytlistic shadows. It’s a really intresting choice and a clever way to save on budget, while still looking gorgeous. 

Sapphire, while refusing Ruby’s help getting up, is understanding if monotone, but as w’eve seen in the present, tha’ts mostly just a side effect from seeing where everything’s going, and likely the reason garnet’s own emotional process is much like that; Stoic but willing to emote when necessary. Sapphire however has a reason for brushing her ruby off: the reason she was called here.. Blue Diamond.  This is intresting as it’s not only the first time we HEARD of blue, as before this we only heard of Yellow, who’d make her proper debut at the end of this season, but the first time we saw a diamond in any way shape of form. Sure we had murals and such, but given the lack of info about the diamonds this early on it was impossible to tell whow as who and the only giveway there was more than was diamond was the symbols: the era 1 symbols in temples and at the arena showing all 4, hinting at pink, and the modern one shown in jailbreak that was a triforce. We do only see Blue in a hood, covered by her palquin and her voice done by Garnet, but it’s still the first tiem we’d see any of the diamonds in any onscreen form. The Garnet voice is also notcable as every other voice in the flashabck, including characters who aren’t either part of garnet or the same gem type as part of her, is normal.. it’s only blue Garnet does a voice for.. and a clever way of covering for the fact they likely hadn’t cast her voice actress yet. It’s also notable for the introduction of Blue Pearl, who silently stands by her Diamond teh whole time.. it’s weird thinking back to the fact that this was the first time we’d really SEEN other versions of our main cast: other rubies and another pearl. Sure we knew they were all part of one type or another with the obvious exception of garnet.. but this episode is notable, and weird to think about giiven how many variants we see as the series goes on, for being the FIRST time we see this on screen. 

Sapphire reveals that while she, and two of her rubies, will poof the rebllion will end here, and Blue is releaved to here this, thanks sapphire and dismisses her. As Garnet explains, Sapphire had no issue with this as she simply saw her life as one straight line: No choice no, option: Fate would just come as it may. Sapphire also muses to Our Ruby on the fact that she finds this planet a wonderful place for a colony.. and that she wishes she could’ve seen more of it. While Our Ruby says theirs more time, Sapphire, while appricating the sentiment gently shoots it down.  This little moment is interuptted however as Rose shouts out, signaling her and Pearl’s arrival. The battle has begun. And I do like the clever use of storytelling here.. not in presetnation but in what we’d learn muchhhh later with the big reveal: To a first time watcher, we just thought that it was only rose and pearl for story purposes or it was a small attack. After all the rest of the characters we’d seen were just shadows, so I, and I presume many others just assumed the rest were off screen or failing that this was just a small strike. As we’d learn once we got the full story of Pink Diamond becoming rose.. it was indeed JUST them, and only them at the time. it’s probably why in the future sapphire saw the rebellion ended her: Pink while powerful had to reign it in as not to be found out and pearl, while as we see her is already utterly badass and an ace with a sword as she mows down Quartz soldiers, is still one gem going up against a literal army.  Another noticable thing, that hints at when this takes place is the fact that when Rose takes down the fused rubies, poofing two of them and leaving ours to flump to the ground.. she uses her fists. At this point her iconic sword is well established and it’s assumed it was just left out for artistic purpose.. but since we meet who made it next season with Bismuth, it’s another clever hint this is before there was a proper army. Bismuth wasn’t a gem yet so Rose/Pink just had her natural strength and shield to protect her, which wasn’t nothing, but the sword probably made it far easier to hold back. 

And thus we come to the moment of truth: Pearl has come back and is about to mow down sapphire.. when Ruby realizes just waht Sapphire meant and waht she’s about to do and thus.. the future changed. Ruby tackles her out of the way. And Garnet is born. 

I absolutley love Garnet’s cotton candy design, both as a sensible evolution, as this is a garnet formed in a moment of passion and accidently versus the one we see in the present or even in flashbacks: a person formed by choice and love and thus having a more stable form. Naturally, Rose and Pearl are baffled by this.. and it’s even more understandable.. as the above mentioned pink diamond origin episode explained.. they had never SEEN this kind of fusion before. While i’m sure this isn’t the first time this happend in gem history, any others were likely killed as soon as it were over or went into hiding as we saw with the off colors. And Pink being sheltered and Pearl being created for her, probalby simply never thought of something like this existing. But they also realize this never before seen to them miracle is their cue to skidoo and book it out of there.  Naturally Blue is pissed and the court are disgusted as the two defuse and both have about the same reacation. 

Before Blue can murder Ruby for you know, doing her fucking job, Sapphire ttakes her by the hand and books it off the sky arena and the two plummet to earth  while ruby screams no a lot. The foundation of any good relationship. 

They float down to earth.. because she’s Mary Poppins Ya’ll. Ruby reveals why she’s upset: Because as she sees it, there’s dozens of her. She’s not WORTH this. Sapphire has no reaction because for the first time, she has no idea what the future brings, what it means and the future she saw was just shattered. She’s frozen. 

Jokes aside I really love that pun. Ruby worries and quickly scoops her up bridal carry style and quickly finds the two a cave. In the cave the two light that flame get that and Ruby continues to freak out over what happened,  upset with her self that she’s supposed to save sapphire.. with Sapphire gently reassuring her “you already did.”  It’s also intresting as it shows even garnet, or at least half of her, had to go through what peridot did.. it went down a bit easier since exile happened right away, but Ruby still had to shake off the homeworld conceived notion that she was WRONG for saving sapphire simply because it lost them the fight and got them fused and all that. It’s also a nice metaphor for someone whose been told, for a nightmarish rainbow assortment of bullshit resaons, that being gay is wrong only to discover they are and having to realize there’s nothing wrong with who they are. 

After a breif flash the two finally talk about their fusion, with Sapphire being suprised considering she figured fusion wasn’t anything like they experinced.. only for Ruby to chime in that sh’es RIGHT: Their fusion wasn’t anything like Ruby’s normal “me but bigger’ fusion.. they lost htemselves.. and both clearly enjoyed it, expressing it through having a third eye for ruby and more than one for sapphi 

We then get the utterly adorable musical number: “Something Entirely New”Which takes the so far mildly subtle “This is like two people who had sex with the oppsite gender for the first time “ metaphor.. and just makes it texual as the song basically screams of two people talking over an unfamiliar sexual experince, but in a cute, well done, and intentionally awkward way that’s still approraite for the kids. it’s a real beautiful song and also shows the burgoning couple bond on earth. This is important as a previous episode had garent and out and out say that love takes time and work, accurate and that love at first sight simply dosen’t exist.. and we also see she practices waht she preaches as the montage does show some time past and even before that the two genuiely bonded. Sure they FUSED on the spur of the moment.. but actually loving each other took time and bonding. 

As the song ends, the two dance romantically,deciding to be Garnet for good as we get some nice callbacks to jailbreak: the two hum the tune to stronger than you, now revealed to be their song and spin similarilty to the way they have when they’ve fused, a nice callback that also add’s weight to those previous moments.. and thus two become one and Garnet is reborn. 

Garnet narrates as her past self gets used to her strange new form.. and just as she does she falls down a ditch. Eh could’ve been worse. 

Garnet finds herself face to sword with Pearl. Pearl backs off a bit once she realizes who their dealing with, and Garnet panickedly offers to unfuse.. only for Rose to enter. Garnet narrates them as Rose Quartz and her terrifying renegade pearl. 

Truly a force to be reckoned with. Rose dosen’t care about her own feelings though “What you feel is bound to be more intresting” It’s a good moment both because Garnet , up to this point hasn’t had to think about what they are or how they feel.. but more notably... no one but the two gems makingthem up ever cared, not before they were garnet and after all the homeworld gems wanted was to kill her. We also get a great line from garnet: “Why am I sure that i’d rather be this than anything else and that i’d rather do this than anything else i’m supposed to do? “  Rose’s response.. to give a giant grin while saying welcome to earth. As Garnet continues to question things, Rose tells her to never question this, never question what you are... which is a damn good message for a kids show to give out. The metaphor is crystal clear: no matter where you are on that beautiful lbgtq+ rainbow: NEVER be ashamed of who you are, never question it.. just enjoy it. Be who your meant to be and love that person. It’s a damn good message and one badly needed in a medium that for way too fucking long was SCARED to tell messages like this: Of sponsors, of foreign markets, and of idiots like one million moms. it took people like rebecca and her crew to say “fuck that”, to say that queer kids NEED these kinds of stories to know they aren’t alone, they are beautiful how they are. They shoudln’t have to wait to find out what they are.. is okay. And that’s beautiful. 

As Rose Tells Garnet that she is the answer, and as we cut back to the present, Steven asks what the answer is. Garnet simply answers: Love. And we close on one great exchange Steven: I knew it Garnet; (wistfully) So did I. 

Final Thoughts: While I remembered the episode being good, hence part of the reason I choose it I forgot just HOW great this episode was, especially post reveal. The art direction is goregous, shot like a fairy tail and rightfully so since this episode is told as one, the story is heartwarming and erica and charlene really act their hearts out as ruby and sapphire while Estelle kills it as both present garnet narrating and past garnet, a garnet ENTIRELY diffrent from what we’ve seen but acted beautifully. It’s espcially noticable since unlike the other two lead gems, we obviously wouldn’t see more garnets like we would amythests and pearls, so unlike her contepraries estelle really didn’t get to flex her vocal range as much playing alternate versions as the seasons went on, with this being the closest she got.  The episode is beautiful, has a wonderful message, and is just utterly charming and is agian why I DON’T mind that every su episode dosen’t advance the plot: Sometimes it dosen’t need to. And even so this one ended up being WAY more important than I remembered, introducing blue diamond and turning out to be MASSIVELY important once the reveal kicked it: For it was Garnet, and the love dthat forged her that changed Pink’s direction. Before the rebellion was simply a way to stop the occupation of earth and would’ve been snuffed out if not for ruby’s actions.. but seeing garnet, seeing how earth and being free from homeworld’s restraints could positvely impact someone.. it changed rose. Besides bringing her and Pearl together, it also made her realize just what her rebellion could bring to people and what a gem could be and even more how precious her future home was. By forming in an act of Love, garnet changed the entire future of gemkind. By staying that way she did so once more. And that’s beautifully. overall an underated, even by me, little masterwork with once again a damn fine message.  We’ll get back to SU soon enough, as I plan to cover the series first full arc as we meet peridot, and see into the souls of our heroines. But first Pride isn’t over yet, and I have one last card on the table as we todd it up a bit with my first look at bojack horseman. Like this if you enjoyed it, comments subscirbe etc etc and don’t be afraid to comission a review for 3 bucks, and until we meet agian, later days. 

[nisaadventures]

I’m turning 30 in 10 days... yikes.

The last year of my life has sucked... lol. Okay, it wasn’t all bad. I’m exaggerating... but I’m also not. I know there were plenty of nice moments in the last year... but when I think about the last year of my life, its just full of so many firsts... awful firsts... 

First time celebrating their birthdays without them...

First holiday season without them... anyone else miss mom’s turkey? Most people don’t like traditional thanksgiving dinner because the turkey is more often dry... mom’s was never dry... Okay the key people.. Don’t actually cook your stuffing in the turkey. Its just going to suck all the juice life out of your bird... I mean come on. Trick #1 stuff the turkey with fresh cut oranges and yes, you can leave the skin on... #2 do majority of the oven time in an oven bag to keep the moisture in. #3 cook breasts down. Its the part thats usually most dry, so duh... keep it in the juicy, buttery goodness of the pan. I never made the entire meal, I usually just helped mom with everything. These are just some things I’ve taken away in my observations. 

Halloween trip to Disneyland without them... Disney is always a good time, but I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t feel heavy in some way... and that is saying something because Disneyland is my happy place lol. 

Looking forward to 2020... Hoping that it had so much better in store for us. 

Dear lord... what a joke. 

Going to Hawaii for our “family trip” without them...

A pandemic without them... I mean yes, I’m thankful they aren’t out there with COVID on the rise... I’m glad they’re not stuck at home because COVID. Mom and Michael are both too much of busy bees to be cooped up in the house for too long. 

Not going to lie... picking up where they left has been hard. All of moms plants... The dogs.. Taking care of the backyard, where Michael usually would. Mom would definitely do too much at once. She’d be out in the yard planting something and pulling out something else in her damn UGG boots! wth mom?! Those are expensive! lol. “Oh its fine.. I’ll wash them.” Omg lol. Either that, or she’d be over here trying to move heavy a$$ pots by herself and I’d have to stop her before she hurt her back. Ayiyi. 

Keanu and Aria’s birthdays without them... seeing my babies sad and missing their grandma, grandpa, and aunties has been hard. It will be out of nowhere sometimes... and all the nights of Aria waking up in the middle of the night crying. I feel you baby girl... I get it. I miss them too... Its okay to be sad... Mantras... 

You were her little rays of sunshine. Grandpa and grandma loved you SOOOO much. 

Mom would babysit the kids on Saturday mornings, while Kuya, Vaness, and I went to workout. They’d go get breakfast, pancakes and eggs, at UJs. She’d take them to Target, the dollar store, Walmart, etc. just so they could look and maybe get something to play with together. She always crafted with them. 

Living in this house... especially with COVID... has been hard. I miss just sitting at the dinner table, eating sho mi, and talking about work. Mom and Michael getting all worked up over some crazy manager, or something going down with the union.. yup, that’s where I get it from... advocacy and leadership skills FTW.  One thing they could always talk about for HOURS was work lol. 

I remember when I was a little girl, Mom would let me play in the bathtub until I was all wrinkled. She would let me bring all my toys into the tub. At one point I even had a care bear doll that she, for some reason, let me take in the bath lol. She’d throw it in the dryer for me after I was done. 

I remember going to the grocery store with mom and leaving with two full a$$ grocery carts because we had a full house at all times. I mean it was Kuya, my cousin Jojo, my brother Derric, my cousin John, Bubba, my cousin Jay, me and whoever else was over the house lol. When Kuya was in high school, it was all of his buddies partying at our house and crashing on the floor in the living room, dining room, and all the couches. She was the #1 host for sure.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat yet?” 

Thats love. 

All of Kuya’s high school friends called her Mom. My friends called her Mama Fern. She loved that. 

I remember playing hide n go seek in the dark in our tiny town house.. Later in the bigger house on Glenbriar... where mom actually tripped and broke her arm... But she laughed so hard she peed her pants, so she was a good sport? lol. Needless to say, we sort of stopped playing after that.

I remember making dim sum with mom for the first time. Such a hot mess, flour and food everywhere, but so fun. We definitely didn’t do that again until there were more adults around to help lol. Mom knew how to run through a kitchen like a tornado. Hot mess! but the best cook. 

Mom was always careful. She always wanted to make sure we were safe, that I was safe. I couldn’t go outside unless one of the boys was with me. When I would swim she would get nervous, even though I learned how to swim at a young age thanks to Kuya. One day, we were having a bbq, lots of family over, I was playing in the jacuzzi (drawing on the wall of the jacuzzi with a piece of chlorine... don’t play with chemicals kids lol) and she thought I was drowning? So she jumps her a$$ in there fully clothed and yanks my a$$ out. I was shocked as hell, so I naturally started crying hella hard and complaining about the fact that she scratched me when she yanked me up out of the water lol.

Keep in mind that that was not the first time one of the twins jumped into the pool fully clothed to “save” someone hahaha. 

 Speaking of fully clothed in the pool... The time auntie tripped and fell slo-mo style (that questionable, are you going to catch your balance, speed) into the pool LOL. Mom was dead laughing at her. Most hilarious video. 

Those twins lol. 

Jeeze.. speaking of the twins. They had this crazy connection. Tell me why when mom got sick with suspected viral meningitis and had to be hospitalized... Auntie straight up followed her right into the ICU with viral meningitis... 

Who remembers their 50th birthday? Talk about doing it BIG. So much fun. All the performances. Lani was there... KMA performances and kuya and John getting down for Maglalatik. Who doesn’t like seeing some half naked, buff dudes, bang coconuts together? haha. The twins getting down with their hula performance. Cute!

I remember when Mom and pops were going through their divorce and she would text me after midnight. I was going to Sac State and of course I was team NO sleep at the time. I would be in the AIRC studying. I’d comfort as best as I could from a distance... and then come home on weekends to be there with her when I could. 

She found her footing again. Started going to the gym with Kuya more... Started running all the time... all of her half marathons and finally she did the Nike Women’s Marathon. 

Hiking Half Dome with her. What.a.badass. 

That is really how I see her. She was so badass. When she was my age she had my 9 year old Kuya and I was on the way... She was working and supporting us and then eventually decided to make a better life for us, and went back to school... NURSING SCHOOL. wth. I can’t even imagine doing that right now, but reminding myself of where she has been and how much she PUT IN WORK... That keeps me grounded in the fact that we are responsible for our lives. If you want something, you have to work for it. You can’t just hope for better... you make better happen. 

I guess its that reminder... her strength... her and Michael’s love and hard work... That keeps me going. 

Being mindful... being thankful... acknowledging my own strength... 

But with that said... August has been increasingly hard. I don’t like to think about my birthday. I don’t even want to plan anything. They’re not here... I can’t celebrate with all my loved ones and friends. Thank you COVID... 

We’re just getting closer and closer to the anniversary? Nah.. lets not call it that... anniversary sounds like something nice... something to celebrate... This is NOT that. The day your loved ones are taken is not something to celebrate... I mean honestly, if I had to pinpoint the worst day of my life, that was it.... When I think about that day I can’t breathe. Terrible memories... so many sleepless nights. I’ve come so far. Its still hard, but I’ve come a long way. 

Anyway... this post is sort of random and nostalgic. Things I hold onto. Things that make me happy cry... Things that weigh heavy on my heart. 

Here’s my playlist for grief... reminders of them... collected over the last year:

Aloha for now -Kaleo Vai & Passion 

One day at a time -Jennifer Chung

In the end - Gabe Bondoc, Melissa Polinar, Passion

Round and around -Kolohe Kai

Fade Away -Rebelution

Alive -The Green

New Day -Kimie’

Angels above me -Stick Figure

Memories -Maroon 5

Wish you pain -Andy Grammer

100 -Katchafire

Everyday life -Coldplay

Out of the darkness -Isla vista worship, Bre Reed

Amen -Andra Day

Grateful -13 Crowns feat. Poo Bear

Rainbow Connection -Gwen Stefani

Be okay -ZOE worship 

With you -Eryn Allen Kane

Dont worry -Mesto feat. Aloe Blacc

Just livin’ -Sensi trails, Kbong

Remember me -Miguel, Natalia Lafourcade

Even more -Major

Let it be -Xav A.

Give Thanks -Iya terra, Stick figure

Mr. Sun -Sammy Johnson

Rest easy -Thrive, Nico of Tribal Theory

Sunny Days- Allen Stone

Today’s a new day -Common Kings

Mother’s Love -Jonah Jaxon, Micah G

The bones -Maren Morris, Hozier

Give you blue -Allen Stone

And we remain -Johnnyswim

Yellow -Kina Grannis

Streetcar -Daniel Caesar

Meant to be -Bebe Rexha, Florida georgia line

All you need to know -Gryffin, slander, Calle Lehmann

Like I’m gonna lose you -Jasmine Thompson

[bangtan-madi]

Hello, I love your writing, can you please do: 102. — RFA + how they are as parents?

Jaehee

I definitely see Jaehee as more of a structurally-strict parent.

Guidelines, boundaries, rules: they’re super important to her. After all, kids are happier when they know what parents expect, right? It also comes from the fact that, deep down, she’s a very anxious person. She puts in rules so her anxiety doesn’t cause her to flip-flop. The last thing she wants is for her nerves to rub off on her child in a way that makes them nervous, too.

However, Jaehee is not overly strict. She’s kind and tender. If her kid messes up or breaks a rule, she’s more the type to sit them down and ask them why they did that, what’s behind the action, why they’re suddenly acting out.

Her gentle nature definitely helps her when it comes to mothering. True, she expects certain things, but she’s not the type to get angry, even when nervous.

She never yells. You’ll never catch her shouting at her child, no matter what they’ve done. To her, that’s the opposite of helpful. Getting louder doesn’t prove your point.

She upholds standards so they’ll know how to survive in the world. Every rule comes from a place of love. She doesn’t make them up for no reason.

When they’re younger, she’s a bit harder on them, but that’s to show that the standards are there for a reason.

No, you can’t eat candy for breakfast. Why? Because it’s unhealthy.

No, you can’t sleepover at your friends’ house. Why? Because I don’t know their parents.

She might come off as overprotective, but trust me: it comes from a place of pure love. Her greatest fear is not being able to protect her baby. She’ll do everything in her power to make sure that fear never comes to fruition.

As they grow older, the rules are less strict but still existent.

Despite all the rules that sometimes create animosity between her and her child, you will find no bigger cheerleader than Jaehee. She’s at every practice, every recital, every event. Even work comes second to her baby. She’s that mom, the embarrassing one screaming their kid’s name and pulling them into a big hug, no matter their age.

Jumin

His parenting style is similar to Jaehee in a lot of ways.

From day one, his child knows what’s expected. There are ground rules and they will be enforced with a gentle hand.

However, unlike Jaehee, Jumin is more open to changing those rules if a good argument is made. This applies more to when his kid is older, but the last thing Jumin wants to do is constrict or suffocate his child.

This has to do a lot with his own upbringing. His father was a kind man, but Jumin always felt like he had to be perfect, otherwise the love would disappear.

He never wants his child to feel like that, so Jumin is open about his mistakes. He’s definitely the type of parent to apologize when he realizes he’s done something wrong, no matter the time of day. There have been times when he’s woken them up in the middle of the night to say he’s sorry.

Jumin doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time when it comes to being a dad. His kid knows that, and as they grow older, they do their best to be well-behaved.

The open-line of communication Jumin encourages keeps the house pretty level-headed. Fights are few and far between, and mostly sprout from heated debates.

Also, like Jaehee, Jumin is a huge cheerleader for his kid. But let’s be honest: everyone in the RFA is going to be crazy supportive and vocal for their kids. They just go about it in different ways.

Jumin, however, has the money and resources to put his kid in just about any hobby or interest they have.

One week they’re interested in horses? Guess who just signed them up for lessons with a world-class trainer?

Oh, and now they’re talking about swimming? Jumin’s already dialing his groundsman, inquiring about how much it would cost to turn the floor below the penthouse into an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

He never wants his kid to feel like they have to grow up to be just like him, or even have a little bit of interest in his company. All he wants is for them to be safe and happy; the rest can work itself out.

All in all, Jumin throws himself into being a father, giving 110% effort. For the first time in his life, work comes second, and he wouldn’t change it for the world.

Seven

And then there’s Seven. Oh boy.

If there ever was a father that’s the personification of a bad dad-joke, that’s Seven.

After just spewing headcanons for Jumin and Jaehee, this guy is…very different. Those two had rules for good reason, but Seven? He doesn’t really believe in rules. At all. That carries over into fatherhood.

Like, just be a good person, maybe wait until you’re older to break the law, and make sure you come to me if you get in trouble. That’s basically his attitude as far as rules are concerned.

It’s not that he doesn’t care. Trust me, he cares a fuckton. When you think about the horrible childhood he had, everything starts to make sense.

His mother had Seven and his brother out of wedlock, fathered by a powerful politician. She used them for money and abused them because she felt like it. The Choi boys never felt safe in their house, not once. They were always on edge and scared of the next outburst, worried as to when they might eat again, and fearful of the future.

Seven would rather die than have his kid go through anything like that. He takes it upon himself to provide everything, more than his kid could ever want. He’s definitely the type of dad to go way overboard with clothes, toys, treats, and basically everything.

He’s a goofy parent. When his child is a baby and toddler, he’s constantly doing silly things to make them laugh. Strange faces, weird voices, throwing himself on the floor or into the nearest piece of furniture, he’ll do just about anything to see them giggle and clap their hands.

He’s so animated, and that doesn’t go away when they get older. While Jaehee is the embarrassingly supportive mom, Seven is just plain embarrassing. He’s going to throw enormous birthday parties, holidays, graduations…Face it. Seven’s going to go waaay overboard for every occasion.

Because why not? He never celebrated anything when he was a kid, so now he puts everything into celebrating his little one.

Piggyback rides and shoulder rides are happening, whether his kid likes it or not. And he’s 100% the dad that throws their kid into the air, probably a little higher than he should. Spinning them around in circles, getting on the floor and playing horsie, breaking into tickle wars, Seven’s going to be a more physical kind of parent. Hugs, snuggles, naps, the whole shebang.

More than just being fun though, Seven wants to make sure that his kid’s needs are always taken care of. He never wants them to worry about anything: money, safety, food or water, affection, nothing.

This also transfers into being overprotective, although he’s not a helicopter parent. He has other ways of watching their every mood, such as CCTV cameras and tracking their cell. Not that he looks at what they’re doing on it, he respects their privacy, but he does like to know where they are at every second. Between his past and his job, no one can blame him.

Honestly, he might not tell them as much as he should due to the fact that he has a hard time with connection and emotions, but Seven is so freakin’ proud of his kid. They could do anything, be anything, and he’d be equally as proud of them. There isn’t anything they could do to change that.

Yoosung

Honestly, if you want the calmest and collective parent in the RFA, Yoosung is your best bet.

While he can be a little immature at times, having a kid of his own really caused Yoosung to step up and into his role as a father.

When they’re a baby, he’s both overprotective and insecure. Yoosung had a fairly average childhood with good parents, so he’s surprised when doubts of his abilities slip into his mind. Is he a good enough dad? What if he’s doing too much, or not enough? What if he makes a huge mistake and can’t fix it?

Over time, he realizes that he underestimated himself and that every parent has those doubts. He comes to terms that, while he isn’t his mom or dad, they gave him a stable childhood where he was able to grow up happy and content. So he tries his hardest to recreate that feeling for his own kid.

Happy-go-lucky in nature, Yoosung is definitely the kind of parent that’s still in touch with his childish side. Obviously, one of the biggest way he and his child bond is through video games. As they grow up, Yoosung buys them all the best for their age group. It becomes their thing, dad-bonding time as it were.

Another thing they bond over is food. After taking up cooking even more after becoming a father, Yoosung never ceases to take up even the most ridiculous food-related challenge from his kid. When they’re little, it often ends in absurd creations that both parties agree should never be recreated.

However, when his child gets older, it shifts into something they do on the weekends to de-stress and talk about their week. Yoosung is thankful for the helping hand and is happy to show off his self-taught tricks.

Open-dialogue is so important to him, as it is to basically everyone in the RFA. He’s constantly curious as to what his kid’s up to, what their friends are, what their hobbies are. He’s not overbearing or overprotective; he has no reason to be. He honestly just wants to know so he can relate to them better. He’s even been found reading up on something his kid mentioned in passing.

Definitely the kind of dad to offer up the house for sleepovers and play-dates, even into high school. The Kim household is a place where kids love to go. There are always sodas in the fridge, always junk food in the pantry, and always the newest video game tech ready in the living room. Because of his nature, Yoosung relates a lot to kids, even as he grows older.

Honestly, Yoosung just tries to be there for his child, no matter what they need. If that’s money for a trip, he’s got it covered in surplus. If it’s a night to relax after a long week of finals, he’s already prepped their favorite meal and rented a movie. If it’s a talk about something important, he’s already sitting on the sofa with open arms.

Zen

Besides Seven, I think the person with the most to prove–and the most to make up for–when it comes to fatherhood is Zen. His childhood was a joke. Between his mother constantly telling him he was ugly, to the brother that betrayed him, it’s no wonder he has doubts about having his own child.

But, by god, is he a natural.

Of all the members of the RFA, I think that Zen’s loving and caring nature makes him the most natural father. While the others had some maturing to do, or at least a shift in central focus, Zen is already there. He’s already mature, and he already puts others first. While becoming a dad stretches muscles he hasn’t had to use before, it’s nothing that doesn’t come easy to him.

A really big thing for Zen is assurance. He’s constantly telling his kid how good they’re doing, even before they can comprehend what that means. From the very first breath they take, to their first steps and first words, to their first day at school, and every little thing that follows: Zen will always tell his child how amazing they’re doing. Even if they mess up, he’s right there, complimenting them on how hard they tried and how he’s proud that they didn’t give up.

But more than just ability, Zen is insistently reassuring his kid about their looks. That’s a really important facet of mental health. He knows all too well how a parent can affect how a child views themselves. ‘Cause if he can help it, his kid is going to grow up with the best damn body image ever. He knows he can’t prevent every bad thought that finds its way into their head, but he’d be damned if he was the cause of a single one of those demons.

He’s constantly telling them how good they look. When they’re younger and still unable to pick out their clothes, he tells them they look adorable. When they’re older, toddler to elementary, he allows them to dress themselves, even takes them shopping when they want a new look.

Who the hell cares if they pick out something that doesn’t conform with gender stereotype, or something with clashing colors? They look fucking adorable in that Pokemon shirt and zebra-pattern tutu. Anyone even thinks about saying something about it? Good luck. They gotta deal with Papa Zen.

When they’re a pre-teen and teenager, that freedom of expression expands into hair and makeup. Whatever gender they are, Zen is more than happy to encourage them to do whatever the hell they want with both. I mean, it’s not as if his look is traditional, per se. Even as a father, who is he to tell his kid what they can and cannot do to their appearance? As long as it doesn’t hurt themselves or anyone else, he couldn’t care less. He thinks it’s awesome.

Zen applies that attitude to most areas of parenting. Rules and punishments, personal choices, successes and failures–whatever his kid does, as long as they’re not hurting themselves or others, he supports them.

It’s not to say he’s not involved. Oh, no. Quite the opposite. Zen’s an actor, and as such, he knows how hard it can be for the world to accept someone that’s out of the ordinary (or what he would call extraordinary.) Whether that be a styling choice or a career choice or a romance choice, Zen will always be involved in his kid’s life. Never as an opposing force. Always as a supporting hand.

Basically, when it comes down to it, Zen is going to be the kindest, most supportive dad ever. His kid is going to know from day-one that Zen is always in their corner, and that if there’s anything they’re interested in or need help with, they can go to him. If they have problems, Zen is there to help. If they want to go after a dream that everyone says is impossible…Well, you know Zen is going to be right beside them, encouraging them to make their mark on the world.

[btsjimln]

100 things Jimin has said or done that has made me believe he’s an angel roaming and existing on earth

Jimin got worried over the fact that dogs only see two colors

Jimin broke apart dog snacks so the dog named Miri could eat them safely

In his birthday vlive when a fan commented saying as long as Jimins happy I’m happy, jimin said no I’m happy only when you’re happy

In one run episode where the game was about keeping your balloon jimin accidentally popped Jins ballon, later on when Jimin had lost his ballon he found another one which he then decided to give it to Jin because he popped his previous one

At the LY tour Jimin stopped singing for a moment to check on a fan who had passed out, he crouched down and watched on as people helped the person and didn’t budge until he got a signal that the fan was for sure doing alright

At GMA a little girl got to meet bts, she started to cry when meeting them. Jimin went immediately to comfort her, he hugged her, he caressed her head he even carried her across the stage because she wouldn’t let go of him

When asked in an interview who the best dancer Jimin did a whole show, jumping out of his seat, getting down on his knees and pointing at Hoseok, having Hoseok smiling and laughing at him

The owner of the calico cat (Curry) that was in the serendipity video said that before shooting the video Jimin wanted to get closer to Curry so that Curry wouldn’t feel nervous during the shootings

One of the staff members even mentioned that Curry might scratch him but jimin said that it’s okay even if she scratches him

Jimin heard if you kissed stingrays they will grant u luck so he kissed a stingray multiple times to grant enough luck for all of us

At the soribada awards one of camera men accidentally bumped into Jimin  even though Jimin was in the middle of perfoming, he stopped up for a second and  made sure the camera man who bumped into him was doing okay

Jimin once said said because Jungkook’s room is close to Jimin’s and because Jimin is the type to go to bed very late he tends to walks past Jungkook’s room to make sure he’s washed up before bed or turned his light off for him if he’s fallen asleep and forgot to do it

In a run epsiode where bts were to make kimchi, after struggling with making it Jimin commented on how he didn’t realize how much work was put into it and how from now on he’ll buy his mom kimchi instead of having her make it

Behind the scenes of the idol mv Jimin found a bug that was missing its leg he told it its a dangers place for it to be here and put it to the side so it wouldn’t get crushed 

In a vlive Jimin said how Hoseok told Jimin he could play games at night if wanted to because as mentioned earlier Jimin tends to go to bed late because he can’t fall asleep for some reason and he tends to get bored of just being on his phone but Jimin said he doesn’t want to do it he doesn’t want the sounds to wake him up especially if the day’s been rough and Hoseok has made effort to go to bed in time

Jimin believes aliens exist and said that even though it wouldn’t do much for him if they existed the thought just makes him happy for some reason

Jimin always makes sure to go to each member’s solo project schedules no matter how early or how late the hours are to support them

During a run game where they were supposed to pick clothes for a member Jimin made sure to choose two pair of outfits one for a smaller frame one for a bigger frame (as well as a third one as a special)

During the promotion week of the Answer album Jimin got barely any sleep to the point where people could hear members encouraging Jimin to fight on before a performance yet you can’t see in the performances if he was tired or not because he always gave every performance his all

Whenever a member gets a punishment in run bts Jimin is more likely than not the person to offer himself to go with them: example he offered himself to go with Namjoon to climb a mountain when he seemed apprehensive about it, 

he offered to even go with Jin in run bts when Jin said he’ll walk his way to the house they were staying in if it meant the rest got a treat

In the same run episode Jimin noticed Jin was getting tired of walking up the hill so he gave him a piggy back ride although jimin obviously got tired from it,  when Jin asked him if he was tired he denied it

Not only that but in that same run episode Jimin had tried multiple times to play games to win drinks for bts

He even offered himself in the same run episode to peal Yoongi’s egg who said he really liked the egg but it was hard to peal it

In another run episode Jin joking said I’m upset because he was losing a game jimin heared him and asked him are up upset hyung, even gave him a finger heart to make him smile

At a recent performance Jimin saw Jin standing off to the side quietly so he quickly went to him and spread his arms out to hug him

Jimin said that the reason as to why he started to take Polaroid picture is because he wanted to save moments and memories with the members when there weren’t cameras around

When they first started out and struggled with money Jimin still got Hoseok a pair of very good shoes and it’s still a present Hoseok cherishes and keeps today

He also got Jungkook a bag so he wouldn’t have to carry around such a heavy one as his previous one was he even got Namjoon clothes because it seemed to be his style

K media even pointed out how Jimin is always giving thoughtful birthday presents to members and putting their tastes into consideration (like a bag for Jungkook, cardigan for Namjoon, hoodie for Jin etc) They also pointed out how Jimin was always the one who is holding a cake on their bday videos

In Taehyung’s birthday bangtan bomb when eating Taehyung’s cake JImin knew that Hoseok doesn’t like sour flavors and since the cake had sour toppings on it Jimin seemed concerned about whether he’d be able to eat it. Hoseok looked really touched at the comment but said it’ll be okay but Jimin still told him which one’s he should eat to avoide the sour flavors

In a Bangtan bomb Jimin checked up on everyone and went to each members bed and wished them a good night, he even stroked Jungkook’s hair lovingly while wishing him a good night softly  

Because Jungkook recently injured himself he wasn’t able to dance along with the rest during the performances, at one point while they were performing Jungkook got so upset he started crying, Jimin who was all the way across the opposite side of the stage stopped performing and ran to Jungkook to comfort him

Jimin also said the same day in regards of Jungkook’s injury  “ I know you all are worried about Jungkook, but if Jungkook goes home like this today, all he'll do is cry. on three, everyone say I LOVE YOU JUNGKOOK”

Jimin stayed by Jungkook’s side during the concert where he was injured comforting and cheering him up for more than a minute and leaving only when Taehyung came to make him company

Jimin stood with Jungkook when he was injured, he sang for him and with him, he made him laugh and smile he held onto him while he was crying with the most endearing look on his face to exist

In a bon voyage episode Jimin and Namjoon had to walk uphill Jimin made a comment on how he felt bad for the staff because they had to carry heavy equipment  up with them

In a bon voyage episode Jimin and Jungkook bought slushies for the staff that were with them, Jimin went up to the staff and made sure everyone got one by asking them mupltiple times about it

In a bon voyage epsiode Jimin said that as a child he wanted to be a pirate and he promised his mom he’d be the number one swordsman in the world, he didn’t know pirates were bad back then and felt embarassed confessing it

Jimin said if he could have any job he’d be a cop

Jimin once took pictures of graffit art that said things like fuck you and literally went and changed it so it would say i love you he even went and cropped out an inappropriate  part of another graffiti picture

When Jimmy Fallon fell down to the floor from laughing Jimin quickly made sure he was’t hurt and asked him how he was doing (albeit such a simple thing I found it endearing he’d do this when this is one of his most common habits) 

In one run epsiode even though Jimin solved most of the puzzles for his team at the end of it he said teamwork is the most important thing and gave his team all the creds for it

In a run episode where they were to make and drink coffee Jimin knew Taehyung doesnt drink coffee and he made sure that everyone knew about it. he even asked the instructor if Tae could make a hot chocolate instead

During an episode of Bon voyage Jin was too busy cooking  food to eat  Jimin quickly called him over when he noticed it and told him to have some even made sure to feed him some pieces before it was all eaten

In a episode of bv where Taehyung had yet to arrive there, when someone said something about how this was  a friendship trip Jimin got upset and  asked how is this a friendship trip if Taehyung is missing he said Taehyung has to be here for it to be a friendship trip

When Jin and Jimin were ordering sandwhiches Jin ordered first 7 until he remembered they were 6 and you could clearly see Jimin got upset over the fact that Taehyung wasn’t here he even graoned and said come on Taehyung

Because Yoongi had a private emergency while they were filming bv he had to leave. Hours after Yoongi left bts were back home playing their own songs, when Yoongi’s part came on Jimin quickly went out his room and said Yoongi hyung i miss you 

When Taehyung asked what the biggest room is in the bon voyage house they were staying in Jimin got too excited and quickly told him which room is the biggest  even though the rest of the members agreed to not tell him got really embarrassed and made the cutest face to exist

Jimin didn’t take any sides in tae and jins fight that happened in burn the stage instead he showed them both what they did wrong and adviced them how to go from there 

Later on, before their concert, Jimin noticed  that Taehyung was visibly still upset over the fight before so he went up hugged him and even gave him a pep talk

In burn the stage when Jin and Taehyung were fighting everyone left them to talk in private but Jimin stayed although hidden in the back and out of view for them, once they were done he walked out and offered to get food togeher he even microwaved the food for them

when Jungkook neeeded paramedic assistance Jimin stood to the side and let them do their job but he wouldn’t leave until he knew Jungkook was doing better

Jimin kept talking about how he was thankful they choose to go to Malta for Bon Voyage after he had seen how pretty the moon looked there

In one epsiode Jimin even kept talking excitedly about how he spent a whole afternoon just talking with the cats in the area of Malta

During Buzzfeed’s puppy interview they got a puppy who was quiet shy and timid Jimin soon took him in his arms he played with him for most the interview and gave him kisses and cuddles when he put him down to go to other members the puppy wouldn’t budge and went back to his arms even when the interview was ending and he was putting him down the puppy went back to his arms

Even though Jimin first said in the summer package that when he first heard they were going to see stingrays he was kind of scared but  he still felt he wanted to pet them and kiss them and he found it endearing how sweet they were being when you tickled them

Jimin said whenever he does a vlive he feels like he has to prepare himself before doing it and that’s why he takes so long to come on there and apologaized for it

In an episode of run bts Taehyung got  sad after hitting the ball in the wrong direction when playing badminton, he started to walk away. jimin saw it and quickly called him and held his hand to comforting him 

Someone once called jimin perfect on vlive he genuinely looked confused and asked perfect? how?

whenever jimin falls on stage he’s quick to brush it off and move on from it but whenever someone else falls on stage like tae did for example in the recent concert he wouldn’t take his eyes from him until he was assured Taehyung was doing okay

In a vlive Jimin did with Jin, when saying goodnight he made sure to say goodnight to fans in as many different time zones as possible

When arriving at the Billboard music awards, while the rest were in awe of all the fans that were waiting outside for them, and even the signs that were there for them, Jimin was concered over the fact that they were out waiting in the heat and how it must’ve been like waiting

Jimin also once went to apologaize to all fans who were waiting outside for them to perform, he said it must be hard for them and that they should’ve hurried to get ready and perfom faster, he felt bad and felt like he keeps having fans wait for them

Jimin gave away 60 signed cds of his for all the 60 students at the elementary school he once went to and even paid for the uniforms for the kids that were entering middle school that year

Jimin and tae both gave away their clothes to an organization that sells  celebrity clothes and where the profits go to children 

Jimin once bought 50 kimbaps when for just dance academy students when they were having their recital last year

a student from jimins elementary school also said said jimin personally called the school and said he wanted to sponsor the graduates scholarships  

Taking care of Jungkook is literally is one of the things jimin put on his ‘small but definite happiness list’ 

In one bv episode you can see jimin walking to Jungkooks room, waking him up asking him if he went to bed immediately when jungkook said yes he praised him for it he even told him to be careful with his joints in the morning when he was stretching

In the summer package jimin asked tae if he could make a snack for  him whilst tae was making a snack for himself which tae did Tae was watching something when doing this for Jimin so Jimin found it endearing that he’d bother to do this for him when in the middle of something and kept patting his head and cooing and prasing him 

When asked who his favorite member is jimin said that all of the members help him or advice him in one way or another’s that if he has a problem they all deal with it together

During the past few ly concerts Jimins has had aches in his back but he didn’t say anything and kept pushing on perfoming

In Jimin’s and Jin’s recent vlive jimin absently said  because  theyre having dinner in Jimins rooom jins room won’t have to smell of food

when guest starring in please take care of my refrigerator Jin said Jimin’s been a humble person ever since he was born

When in bv Jimins group didn’t have money to pay for their fairy jimin quicky told them to take his wallet to pay with it

When hobi was shooting videos for his mixtape jimin went and visited him and even brought him a gift

this one time jimin told taehyung “even if i cant help you i can give you strenght”

At the backstage of billboard music awards Jimin talked about how he was very nervous to deliver his award speech but he kept on thinking if they win this award he has to deliver this message

Jimin once spent a good amount of time trying trying to read on trashcans if the trash bin contains non-biodegradables so he could throw rj’s plastic packaging

During an interview with Grammy museum, when the interviewer mentioned the fans jimin got the most endearing smile on his face turned to the crowd and smiled at them, he even decided to answer the question that was fan related

when asked to choose between people plants or pets jimin choose people and pets

Jimin  wrote a letter to yoongi telling him to take care of himself and rest well and that he worries about him and his body when hes over working himself for things

When playing around with yeontan jimin wanted to give him a snack but he first went and called tae to ask if it was okay to do it before he gave him it

As jimin was perfoming at the ly tour he saw a fan cry he told them to not cry to smile and that they(bts) loves them

During the time tae was away in bv  jimin kept him updated with what was happening  with videos and photos

When doing a vlive jimin noticed a lot of people being worried about him in the comments he quickly adressed it and told them to not worry that he’s eating well and taking care of himself

Even in an interview jimin told fans that they’re all taking care of themselves and eating well and to not worry about them

in one run epsiode hobi was making food on the grill and when jimin noticed he was struggling he went to help him, even when hobi didn’t ask for him  to get him scissors he literally ran all the way to the kitchen to get them

In a vlive Jimin said he likes being around his members he wants to be around with them. he like being together with them. 

Even as Jimin was leaving his hotel even as he was passing by with a car he made sure to great armys who are waiting outside for them 

When signing things Jimin blew on his autograph extra well making sure its nice and dry so it won't smudge before moving on with the next item

Whenever he’s drawing something for us he spends hours upon hours into it, putting a lot of time and effort into it and once spent a whole day drawing a page for their colorbook

namjoon said jimins a person who needs lots of love and attention

jimin said he wants to be know for his sincer heart

In a vlive jimin said that perfoming at the Bilboatds isn’t everyone gets to do you can see he was really honored and touched by getting the chance to perfom there

when tae arrived to the bv location jimin kept holding him, holding his hand, telling him he loves him and excitedly chatting with him 

jimin really doesn’t like to do vlives alone solely because he enjoys constantly being surronded by his members and when they arent around he misses them

Jimin got a water bottle for seokjin which BTS ended up sharing between them all jimin waited patiently but ended up being last and getting a tiny bit of it

at a ly concert jimin kept comforting the fans that were crying on one side then when he himself ended up crying later on he came to that side and cried

jimin is the most amazing wonderful thoughtful considerate person there is he would literally give the clothes off of his back if you asked for it his heart is as pure as his soul he has the biggest heart and the purest soul in the world  he deserves all the good this world can give and more 

[bwbeedubs]

Rather Be

(X)

The smell of burning wood filled her nose as she made her way closer to the garage shop, the sound of a saw going ringing louder in her ears with every step. She poked her head around the entrance to see Jason hard at work, his head bopping to the music from his headphones, completely unaware of her presence.

Not wanting to disturb him while working heavy machinery, she clutched the bag of food tighter in her hand as she waited in the archway for him to notice her. Maybe she should’ve texted first or just waited for him to come home… That’s what they always did anyways.

But being in the apartment building without him there was becoming strange to her. Especially after her earlier festivities… Lord, she didn’t want to be alone after all that trouble. And Jason’s presence always seemed to ease and soothe her, that she often sought him out for it. Who was once an annoyance had somehow become someone she had trouble being without. So here she was -  At his shop, a few blocks east from their place, holding Thai food, waiting awkwardly for him to notice her.

Not that she had to wait long, Jason always seemed to notice when she was around.

“Oh, hey!” Jason greeted with smile, turning off the saw and pulling his headphones from his ears and lifting his goggles from his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Raven shrugged. “I had a meeting nearby. It let out early so I thought I’d thought I’d come by… See your work and all that since you keep asking.”

“Well, I’m glad you did,” his smile widened and brightened at her, and she had to ignore the flutter she felt in her chest. Damnit, why was he always so good at that?

He sniffed. “Mm… What smells so good?”

“Oh, uh…” Raven blinked, looking down at the bag in her hands. “Thai. I stopped by that place you always get us food from and got us some dinner. I, uh, got you your usual; Pad See Ew with no baby corn and steamed dumplings for us to share.”

“You remembered my order?” He asked, quietly as he walked towards her, his charming grin still ever present, and it made her knees feel like jelly.

Oh, he needed to stop doing that...

Averting her eyes, Raven pushed her hair behind her ear and tried to feign casualness to the best of her abilities. “Well, yeah… we order it so much... It’s not hard to remember.”

A strange look passed over his face, his eyes sparkling with something warm and gleeful as his lips pressed into a bashful smile, and she couldn’t help but think of how cute he was like that. Gently, taking the bag from her hands, he nodded. “Well, I really appreciate you remembering that about me.”

“Of-Of course...” Raven stuttered, realizing that she had forgotten to breathe in his presence. Blushing at the faux pas, she coughed looking at the pieces of furniture around them. “So, this is what all you’ve been working on this whole time, huh?”

“Yes, yes!” He waved her in, enthusiastically. “Come in, come! Come, have a look!”

Without waiting for her reply, he took her hand and pulled her further into the shop, buzzing with excitement. “I know my little whittlings are shit and all but as you can see my bigger pieces aren’t bad at all.”

Aren’t bad at all? His pieces were immaculate! All of them were so intricately put together and cared for, and the craving was so meticulously done… “How are your whittlings so bad?” She said before she could think to stop herself. Realizing what she just said, she rushed to recover. “I-I mean, I like it when you drop one in the drop off shoot when you get me for lunch sometimes - don’t get me wrong- but these are just…”

“Actually good?” He raised his brows with a playful smile. “Yeah, turns out I work better on a bigger canvas - sort of speak.”

“I’ll say,” she trailed, looking closer at the detailed floral carvings on the back of a swinging bench. “These are incredible…”

She felt his hand squeeze hers causing her to she rip her focus away from the careful carvings to see his wide smile looking back at her, his malachite eyes bright with pride and something she wasn’t 100% sure what it was. “Doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying to impress you with my whittlings though.”

Feeling her cheeks warm up again, she averted her eyes again and tried to stifle the feelings he seemed to effortless drum up inside of her. “Well… practice does make perfect, I guess.”

He chuckled, squeezing her hand again before letting go and setting their food on what seemed to be his work desk. “I just have to finish a few touches on this table, if you want wait and walk home together?”

“Uh, sure. I can wait.” She pointed to the bench. “Can I sit on this?”

“Found a piece you like, I see,” he commented, warmly. “Yeah, sure. Make yourself comfortable.”

Raven shrugged, taking a seat on the bench. “It’s a nice piece. I, especially, love the floral details in the wood here.”

“Well, look at you: Liking flowers and shit,” he joked.

She rolled her eyes as her fingertips traced the pattern. “If Persephone can be the Goddess of Spring and the Queen of the Underworld, I can like flowers too.”

“Yes, you certainly can,” Jason laughed, slipping on his goggles back on before turning on the sander and getting back to work. “One sec.”

Raven nodded, continuing to admire his work on the bench and noticing all the care and dedication he had put into it. While she had seen some of his work in his apartment, she had never seen it up close, and now she really wanted to, if it was anything like what she was seeing now. It was so expertly crafted… she wondered how time and patience it took for him to finish it. Admiring the art for another second, she sighed as she turned to look back at him and—

Oh, she shouldn’t have done that…

There he was… Sanding down a piece of wood, his biceps bulging as he tried to keep a hold of the machine in his hands. His skin glistening with sweat and sawdust from a hard days work. His face hard with concentration, making sure he executed his task with complete precision.

She felt her cheeks grow hot as her mind began to wander…

Those strong arms wrapped around her while his hands gripped her and squeezed her and pinched her in places where there was fat. Raven bit her bottom lip as she imagined him lifting her up on his table and pushing her skirt up to her hips as her hands worked off his belt and jeans. Her stomach twisted pleasurably at the prospect of his hot kisses pressing against any bit of skin they could reach, biting and sucking ever so often as he pushed her panties off to the side, too eager to feel her tremble underneath his hands and yet, perfectly patient enough to see her bliss through. His sweaty, crinkled brow leaning against hers with his eyes full of concentration, fighting off his desire for hers until that precious delicious moment when she—

“So the guys from the bar were wondering,” his voice interrupted her salacious thoughts, and she felt her face blush harder in embarrassment. He didn’t seem to notice her discomfort, turning off his sander. “If you would like to join us for my rooftop birthday next Saturday.”

She furrowed her brow. “I thought I didn’t have a choice…?”

“Oh, you don’t,” he laughed before shrugging. “I guess, what I’m really asking for them is if you could—“

“Invite the girls?” Raven finished with a knowing look.

He shrugged, sheepishly. “The guys thought you would be more comfortable-.”

Raven snorted, not believing the attempted reasoning for a second. “The guys want more girls there. I get it. And sure. I’ll message the girls in the morning, if that’s what you want.”

“They’re planning this thing. I just want good friends, good vibes, good booze, and a good birthday,” Jason replied while he finished sweeping off the excess dust from the wood he was working on. “If they want extra people on the guest list, let them have it.”

Raven nodded. “As long as it’s what you want.”

“You said you’d be there, right?”

“I said, I would be,” Raven replied, her brows knitting together as to why would he ask that question again.

“Good,” he nodded as he started to put things away. “As long as you’re there, I’ll be happy.”

She tilted her head. “Me?”

“There’s no one I’d rather share my birthday with than you. So yeah... You,” Jason looked up at her, pushing his goggles to rest on his head before his signature playful grin eased back on his lips. “Shall we go home?”

[acelezz]

“L is For Luna” (Part 2): A Saluna Fanfic

Title: L is For Luna

Summary: When Luna finds a love letter in her locker, she hopes that it is her crush Sam, but is doubtful. With the help of her ten siblings, Luna will find out whether her dreams of being with Sam will ever be a reality or not.

Part: 2

Author: L-is-For-Loud-House

Fandom: The Loud House

Ship: Saluna (Luna Loud and Sam Sharp)

Timeline: A few months after “L is For Love”

Genre: Fanfiction/Romance

Word Count: 1,746

...

“Clack, clack, clack!” The sound of Luna hitting Lori’s blue high heels on the white dresser in Lori and Leni’s room went.

It was now 3:00 in the afternoon and all of the Loud siblings had just gotten home from school ten minutes ago. They all had been gathered into Lori and Leni’s room by Luna for a Loud Sibling Meeting. 

“I hereby call this meeting to order!” Luna announced.

“Lisa, can you read the minutes from the last meeting?” Lori asked the 4-year-old prodigy.

Lisa then proceeded to whip out a piece of paper which was a review of their last meeting. “Alright. Item one: It was resolved that in the matter of Lynn’s football-”

Lisa was then interrupted by Luna ripping the paper from her hands and crumbling it up into a ball. “Sorry, we don’t need to hear that today, Lise.” Luna then chucked the paper into the trash can. “Alright, so you’re probably all wondering why I gathered you all here today.”

“Whatever this is about, it better be good!” Lola hissed. “I was in the middle of practicing for my next pageant!”

“And I was in the middle of writing a new joke!” Luan added.

“And I was just about to go play in the mud!” Lana chimed in.

“And I was just about to read my new Ace Savy comic!” Lincoln exclaimed.

“And I was just about to paint my nails with my cute new nail polish!” Leni stated.

“And I was in the middle of writing a new poem!” Lucy announced.

“And I was just about to go outside and play some soccer!” Lynn whined.

“Poo poo!” Lily cried with annoyance.

“Ok, I get that you all want to go back to whatever it was that you were doing,” Luna told her siblings. “But this is my one and only voice. So listen close, it’s only for today. And I promise that this won’t take long! Alright, I gathered all of you in here to talk about this!” Luna then revealed the love letter that she got earlier on in the day at school to her siblings.

All of them groaned.

“Ugh, not this again!” Lola groaned.

“Luna, don’t you remember that sending love letters is Mom’s thing for Dad?” Lori asked. “You should probably give that to him so he can see what she wrote for him!”

“No, dudes, this letter is actually for me! I found it in my locker this morning!”

All of Luna’s siblings gasped.

Leni then ran up to Luna and gave her a hug as she squealed, “O. M. Gosh, Luna! Congrats, little sis! This is totes exciting!”

“Thanks, Leni,” Luna chuckled as Leni let go of her.

Leni then gave Luna a nudge. “So are you gonna tell us who it’s from?”

“I-I don’t know...” Luna then unfolded the letter and showed what had been written on it to her siblings. “Whoever wrote it signed it as ‘Your Secret Admirer’. So I need all of your help to figure out who it is.”

Lori then let out a squeal. “Ooh, I bet it’s Sam!”

The rest of the siblings except for Luna then let out a teasing, “Ooo...”

A slight blush came across Luna’s cheek as she nervously rubbed her arm. “I don’t know dudes. I’m really hoping that it’s Sam, but she’s way out of my league.”

“Are you kidding me?” Lincoln asked. “She totally likes you!”

“Well she definitely does as a friend, but I don’t know if it goes any further than that.”

“Well, who else could the letter be from?” Lynn questioned. “She always wants to come over and jam with you like five out of seven times of the week!”

“Yeah, and the way that she always looks so happy whenever she’s commini-gay-ting with you!” Luan teased.

“Luan!” All of the Loud siblings shouted.

“Wow, that joke certainly did not get BI you guys!” 

The 14-year-old comedienne hen broke out into a fit of laughter while all of her siblings groaned and facepalmed themselves.

“But, Luna, despite her terrible jokes, Luan does have a point,” Lori began. “Remember that Luan, Leni, and I all go to the same school as you so we occasionally see you in the hallway with Sam. But we all know how important spending time with her is to you so we always let you two be. But all three of us have seen Sam walking in the hallway with other friends or by herself and she always seems to be the happiest whenever she’s with you.”

“Really?” Luna queried.

“Totes!” Leni agreed. “Her smile is always like ten times bigger whenever she’s with you!”

Luna smiled at the thought of Sam’s gorgeous smile. “Well, I always did think that she was a naturally happy gal. But you guys do have a point that I have no clue how she behaves when I’m not around. But I’m still not too sure if the letter’s from her, dudes.”

“Why? Is there anyone else that we should know about, Luna?” Lola asked, grinning.

“No, as of right now, Sam’s the only one out there that sends a million butterflies into my stomach. While I do have something for Mick Swagger, it’s not the same thing. I really look up to him and I think that his music is rockin’, so he’s just a role model to me. No one else has the same effect on my heart like the way that that Sam chick does. But what if there’s someone else out there who has been crushin’ on me and I just have no clue because we’re either not close or they’re just excellent at hiding it.”

“Well, it seems like you wouldn’t have a clue if anyone had a crush on you since you’re clearly oblivious to the fact that Sam likes you back!”

“Yeah, I do not enjoy feelings such as the ones that you have described and even I can see that Sam is attracted to you,” Lisa agreed.

“Maybe she’s just attracted to me as a friend,” Luna said, clearly in denial.

“Luna, why do you keep on disagreeing with everything that we’re saying?” Lana asked. “Did something that we don’t know about happen between you and Sam?”

“Nothing bad happened. But I did tell her about the letter.”

“And what did she say?” Lincoln asked.

“Well, she didn’t say whether it was her or not. But she did agree that it’s a bummer that the letter is signed anonymously. But this when we were walking to our first period classes and she had to go to chem. But, she did hug me and told me that she was excited for me right before she had to go. It surely did ignite the butterflies in my tum-tum and had me surprised because she ain’t much of a hugger. But then I figured it was because we’re really good friends so she’s just really happy that I got a love letter.”

All of the Loud siblings let out a squeal.

Luna raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Luna’s siblings all giggled at her.

Lori then put a hand on her short-brown-haired sister. “Luna, you have no idea how literally oblivious you can be sometimes. Sam was totally the one who wrote that letter! She’s probably just too nervous to admit that she was the one who wrote the letter, just like how you’re too nervous to admit to her that you’re the one who’s been sending her all of those love letters! Say, didn’t you tell us that you had a similar reaction when she told you about the letters that she got?”

Luna’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of red as she let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I did. Man, were the butterflies soarin’ when she mentioned that. I nearly almost lost my cool. But yeah, all I said was that I really hoped that she figured out who sent them to her.”

“Yeah, so she probably likes you back and figured out that you were the one who wrote the love letters, but like you, wasn’t 100 percent sure. She’s probably too nervous to ask you so she’s trying to find out if she’s right by returning the favor. And like I said, like you, she’s too nervous to admit that she was the one who wrote the letter so she’s trying to hint her feelings towards you like doing sweet and romantic things that she normally doesn’t do, like hugging you.”

“Wow, Lori, you sure do have a point there. But still, dudes, what if we’re all wrong? How can I find out that it’s her for sure?”

“Well, my advice from a few months ago still stands accurate,” Lucy answered. “Since Sam, um I mean the writer, is clearly shy, you need to give Sam a signal to let her know that you’re interested. If you receive a second letter soon after, then she’s clearly the author.”

“That’s a great idea, Lucy, but I don’t know if I’m brave enough to do that,” Luna admitted. “I’ll probably just chicken out.”

“That’s it!” Lola yelled as she hopped off Lori’s bed. “I can’t stand to see you act like this!” Lola then grabbed Luna by her shirt and pulled on it, bringing Luna’s face right down to hers. “You need to woman up! You think if Sam can’t admit that she wrote the love letter and if she’s not a touchy person that she wasn’t apprehensive when she hugged you?”

“Well, she didn’t seem like it,” Luna answered.

“Well, she probably was! Same people are just better at hiding things like that than others! But she did it anyway because she’s brave and because she really likes you! That probably took a lot out of her so now you’re going to muster up all of the bravery that you’ve got and return Sam the favor by sending her a darn signal!”

Lola then let go of Luna. Luna gulped as she stood upright again.

“Sam is coming over tomorrow, correct?” Lola asked.

“Yeah, she’s coming over so that we can jam out with my new amp,” Luna replied. “She told me that she would have come over today, but she couldn’t of because she had to go to the Royal Woods Diner after school with her family to celebrate her dad’s birthday.”

“Perfect. You can give her your signal then.”

...

(Part 1) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

...

Check out “Lincoln’s Concert Catastrophe”!

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

[makingitourway]

85 Questions Tag

rules: answer these 85 questions about yourself and then tag 20 people

the shanster @mysteryoflovemyway tagged me, ty shan ily!!

last?

1. drink: water

2. phone call: my work!

3. text message: THE SHANSTER HERSELF

4. song you listened to: “Lefty” by Title Fight 

5. time you cried: I watched the Amy documentary again last night and bawled my lil eyes out 

ever?

6. dated someone twice: negative

7. kissed someone and regretted it: negative

8. been cheated on: negative

9. lost someone special: lots 

10. gotten drunk and thrown up: I’VE NEVER HAD A HANGOVER AND I’VE NEVER THROWN UP WHILE DRUNK I AM INVINCIBLE

fave colors?

11. black

12. blues

13. greens

in the last year have you?

14. made new friends: yes!!!!!!! a handful of which are from this very website!! go figure!!!!

15. fallen out of love: I HAVE BEEN SINGLE MY ENTIRE LIFE STOP ASKING ME THESE THINGS

16. laughed until you cried: duh!!

17. found out someone was talking about you: yes i went to middle school hello 

18. met someone who changed you: fer sure!

19. found out who your friends are: ????????yes??

20. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: negative

general

21. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them, i only have like 100-something friends, and I never go on it.

22. do you have any pets: all my pups are deceased

23. do you want to change your name: “nik mf nasty” has a really nice ring to it, don’t you think?????

24. what did you do for your last birthday: I went to my favorite bar with my mom and aunt and my favorite coworkers and had a really fun night :)

25. what time did you wake up today: 9ish

26. what were you doing last night at midnight: crying bc of Amy Winehouse

27. what is something you can’t wait for: TO GO ON MY CALL ME BY YOUR NAME NORTHERN ITALY PILGRIMAGE WITH MY MOM

28. what are you listening to right now: “Mind Fields” by No Vacation

29. have you ever talked to a person named tom: p sure yes; but also what does “talked to” mean in this context??

30. something that gets on your nerves: PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE A MOTHERFUCKING BLINKER

31. most visited website: tbh probably netflix 

32. hair color: dark brown!

33. long or short hair: it’s damn near past my butt, she needs a haircut 

34. what do you like about yourself: my ability to adapt

35. want any piercings: I kinda want my other nostril pierced. we love balance. 

36. blood type: um, no?

37. nicknames: my gov’t name is *********, but i’ve been called nikki since I was little. will respond to: nikki, nik, nik (mf) nast(y), slick nik, nicholas, la nini, etc. 

38. relationship status: someone find me a mans to date

39. zodiac sign: gemini ass bitch!!

40. pronouns: she/her

41. fave tv show: I LOVE TELEVISION UMMM the office, parks & rec, people just do nothing, parenthood, jane the virgin, this is us, food network competitions????!!?!

42. tattoos: I have ten I think?? mostly all my bigger pieces are on my leg, and I have a few lil ones on my arm

43. right or left handed: right

44. every had surgery: root canal??

45. piercings: ears, septum, nostril (I always lose the jewelry for my nostril tho so rn I’m only rockin my septum and my regular ol’ ear piercings)

46. sports: I played soccer for a really long time but i would rather do anything else than watch sports on tv

47. vacation: yes?

48. trainers: what does this mean I AM THOROUGHLY AMERICAN 

49. eating: she big, so yes pls tysm!!

50. drinking: we love to be hydrated henny!!

51. i’m about to watch: tbh probably the office or great british bake off

52. waiting for: my laundry to be done!

53. want: money 

54. get married: HARD PASS, MARRIAGE AS AN INSTITUTION IS A JOKE AND IS SO UNNECESSARY 

55. career: i want to make/write movies, but anything where I get to utilize my voice and my creativity would be tight

56. hugs or kisses: hugs?? 

57. lips or eyes: LIPS

58. shorter: who wrote these non-question ass questions???????

59. older or younger: ????????????????????????older?? what are we talking about

60. nice arms or stomach: i’m tired, NEXT

61. hookup or relationship: the latter 

62. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant troublemaker ((((gemini ass bitch))))

have you ever?

63. kissed a stranger: no

64. drank hard liquor: i love tequila

65. lost glasses: yes all the mf time

66. turned someone down: there was someone to turn down???

67. sex on first date: yolo?

68. broken someone’s heart: my own????????fuck that was deep

69. had your heart broken: ^

70. been arrested: no

71. cried when someone died: i cry at everything

72. fallen for a friend: there was a time i thought i had a crush on one of my bffs in hs but now i look back and i’m like bitch you were so bored go do your hw (so, no)

do you believe in

73: yourself: yes but i don’t apply myself in the ways i should so nothing ever gets done 

74. miracles: sure

75. love at first sight: there are many different kinds of love according to sternberg, so yes, sure.

76. kiss on the first date: why tf not i have my hpv vaccine

77.  whoever made this question list is fired 

other?

78. best friend’s name: I have multiple best friends 

79. eye color: brown

80. fave movie: are you kidding i have so many???????? Goodfellas, Call Me By Your Name, Little Miss Sunshine, Grand Budapest, Deathproof, Chef, Baby Driver, School of Rock, Moonlight, Florida Project, Lady Bird, Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Superbad, Like Crazy, Once, Sing Street, Begin Again, I Origins, THE LIST IS SO LONG I LOVE FILM

81. favorite actor: of my generation? tomato chandler 

82. favorite food: any food of my ethnic background is a-ok w me 

83. extrovert or introvert: both??????? (((((gemini ass bitch)))))

84. favorite flower: peonies, carnations

85. favorite hello kitty characters: I used to love Badtz Maru and Kerropi but THIS IS THE MOST RANDOM QUESTION WHAT IS GOING ON

I can’t believe I sat here and answered all of these kind-of-questions omg. 

shannon tagged almost everyone I would’ve tagged so -- @chezchalamet @wedoitallthetime @statistics-statistics, if you guys want to, go off!!!!!!!!!!!

[kumeko]

Birthdays

A/N: for the FESibs zine! I absolutely love writing about Lissa, Chrom, and Em and I should really do more of it. For those that bought the zine, I’ve added an extra piece about Em in this version, which I couldn’t fit into the zine.

Summary: Three different gifts for three different times—Lissa, Chrom, and Em through the war.

…

…

…

…

Lissa wasn’t sulking.

War required sacrifice, she knew. Sacrifice which sometimes included food, forcing them to resort to bear meat. Or boar meat. Or whatever-Frederick-managed-to-hunt meat. Despite any misgivings she had about it, she held her nose daily and swallowed what could only be described as month-old shoe.  She even raised only a minimal fuss about it too.

So when Emmeryn apologized, explaining that they didn’t have the rations to make a birthday cake, Lissa understood. It was war, after all. If she happened to leave the castle, climb up a hill, and plop on the ground, it was an unrelated thing. It was quiet here and it had nothing to do with sulking.

At all.

“There you are.” Chrom’s voice startled her and she lifted her head. Sparing him a glance as he trudged up the hill, she buried her face in her knees once more. “Are you still sulking?”

“I’m not!” Her voice was a little louder than she intended, a little harsher, and maybe she was sulking. Just a little.

But only a little because Lissa knew better.

“Lissa…” Chrom sat next to her.  Bumping his shoulder against hers, just like he used to when they were children listening to one of Em’s long lectures, he sighed. “I’m sorry but you know we can’t—”

“I know.” Lissa cut her brother off, raising her head slightly. Despite how she acted, she wasn’t a complete child. “I know just…I’m a little sad, ok?”

“Yeah…I think you liked cake more than the gifts.” Chrom laughed weakly. He wrapped his arm around her, giving her a loose hug. “I’m sorry.”

It was unfair, entirely unfair. She couldn’t stay mad when he acted like that. Resting her cheek on his chest, she mumbled, “It’s not your fault.”

His grip tightened. “I’m still sorry.” They sat there for a moment, quiet, before he let go. “I know this isn’t quite what you wanted, but we got you something.”

She peeked up at him. “What?”

“A gift. It was hard to find something good, considering how strapped we are.” Chrom reached into his pocket, fumbling in there before pulling out a small yellow pouch. “Em got you some orange ribbons and I managed to convince Gaius to part with a little candy. It’s not quite a cake or a big present, but—”

Lissa tackled him to the ground before he could say another word.  She had the best big brother and sister.

“Chrom?” Tentatively, Lissa entered the throne room, hiding a bag behind her. There were few candles lit; most of the attending nobles and guards had left to prepare for her brother’s birthday feast. Squinting, Lissa spotted Chrom standing next to the throne. Sensing something wasn’t right, she slowly approached him. “What are you doing?”

“Hmm?” At the sound of her footsteps, he glanced at her. There was a pensive look on his face, the same look he had when he had been crowned just a few weeks ago. “Lissa?”

“You asleep?” Even to her own ears, her joke fell flat. Dropping her smile, Lissa stood next to her brother and set the bag on the floor. With most of the candles out, the room felt bigger, emptier. “What are you doing?”

“I…” Chrom laid his hand on the throne, gripping it tightly “Em should have been here.”

“…yeah.” Downcast, she stared at the empty seat. Emmeryn was dead. For a while, Lissa had hoped she was trapped in a nightmare, that none of this was real and she’d wake up to Em’s gentle smile. Yet the war grew worse and Chrom was king and no matter how much she pinched herself, reality stayed the same.

“I…I’m not ready to be king.” Her brother’s confession came out a whisper, soft and delicate like a seashell.

Lissa couldn’t say anything, not even that he was wrong. Her hand reached to her hair, to the orange ribbons she used on a daily basis now. Her gift was the last thing she had of Emmeryn and even that was getting harder and harder to remember.

Chrom’s voice was barely audible now. “I couldn’t save her…”

“We couldn’t save her.” Lissa wiped the tears from her eyes; this was no time to cry. Not when her brother needed her, not when he sounded like a child, lost and afraid. Emmeryn would never have wanted that. “It’s not your fault.” When he didn’t respond, she grabbed his arm. “It’s not,” she repeated, firmly.

He didn’t look convinced but he stopped frowning. “Lissa…”

“Besides, it’s your birthday! We can finally have cake and celebrate!” Lissa let go and reached down into her bag. Pulling out a large blue cloth, she presented it to Chrom. “Here’s your present.”

“What…” Chrom trailed off as he unfurled the cape. “When did you make this?”

“…Em and I worked on it together…” Lissa blinked furiously, refusing to cry. Shakily, she pointed to the edge of the cape. A quick look and it was apparent two different hands had made this—in some places, the seam was barely visible, in others all that could be seen were mismatching stitches.  Em had promised to help after and—Lissa had to stop thinking about that. “You looked like you needed a new cape.”

“You…” Chrom gripped the cloth tightly, closing his eyes for a moment. Then, with a shaky smile, he donned the cape. “What do you think?”

It was crooked and Lissa snorted. There was something very Chrom-like about this, something that screamed of home and normalcy. Em would have laughed, she was sure. And if she wasn’t around anymore, then it fell to Lissa.

“You didn’t put it on right!” Lissa scoffed, reaching up to tighten his clasp. “Here, I’ll fix it.”

Emmeryn was alive. Lissa repeated herself over and over. Em was alive. No matter how many times she said, thought it, it didn’t feel entirely real.

But Em was sitting next to her, breathing and smiling and fully, 100% alive.

“It’s nice out.” Lissa beamed at her sister, resisting the urge to throw her arms around her. Even if Em was alive, she wasn’t back. Not entirely, at least.

“Yes…it…is.”  Em’s words were slurred, her mouth having difficulty pronouncing what was clear in her mind.

“This is the best view of the city.” Chrom gestured at the view in front of them. Coincidentally, the hill she had sulked one less than a year ago happened to be the best picnic spot. She was glad that was one detail Chrom left out.

“...I see…” Her sister nodded slowly as she scanned the surroundings. “It is…beautiful…”

“And at peace and all because of you.” Chrom held Em’s hand tenderly, his expression soft. He smiled more these days and Lissa wasn’t sure if it was because they war was over or because Em was alive. It was probably both.

She was sure her face looked exactly the same.

Perplexed, Emmeryn squeezed his hand. “…ok…”

“We…I would not be here right now if it weren’t for what you did. Thank you.”

It was too much, all too much. Lissa could feel her eyes sting, her throat burn, and today was a happy day. She wasn’t going to cry again. Quickly, she shooed Chrom away. “Get the picnic basket!”

There was a knowing look in his eyes and he ruffled her hair. “You ok?”

“I’m hungry.” Lissa batted him away and he dodged, laughing.

“Fine, fine, I’ll go.” Rolling his eyes, he obeyed.

“He’s not allowed to tease me.” Lissa complained, resting her head on her sister’s shoulders. When she was younger, they’d come out on nice summer afternoons. Chrom would practice his swordsmanship in the one place it didn’t matter if he broke something while she napped on Em’s lap. Her sister would stroke her hair softly, just like she was doing now.

Lissa’s eyes snapped open. She wasn’t imagining it, her sister was stroking her head.

“The ribbons…look…good…on you…” Em gave a gentle smile, her hand still softly brushing Lissa’s hair. Was it a coincidence? Lissa was wearing her birthday present, those orange ribbons Em had picked out herself and did she recognize it?

Her mind was in tatters, a jigsaw puzzle with most of the pieces missing, but maybe it was starting to slowly stitch back together. The smile Em gave was ambiguous, the clarity in her eyes possibly a trick of the light, but Lissa wanted to believe.

Her sister could back. Her sister was coming back.

“Alright!” Having returned, Chrom set down a cake in front of them. “Fredrick helped make this, so we didn’t burn anything down this time.”

Lissa wiped the tears from her eyes before her brother could say anything. “Happy birthday, Em.”

Really though, it felt like she was the one getting the gift.

[scoobydoominuscoobydoo]

 Part Six

“You know like...two people, together. That nobody ever thought would be together...”

“I’ll let you students know right now that this job I’ve appointed you is your top priority, grades and attendance will be ignored until you find Miss McCall.” 

Velma visibly flinched, as if their attendance record could get any worse this year.

The gang all sent each other worried looks, the fact that the principal thought calling them in here to let them know that their grades and attendance didn’t matter would make them find Natalie McCall faster was concerning.

Never had so many people put so much faith in them and so far they were letting them all down.

To the point that the freaking principal, the god of their dimension, had to intervene and tell them that either they get their shit together and find his granddaughter or be forced to repeat the year due to the amount of classes they missed. Or worse.

People had sudden expectations of them now. And it was nerve wracking.

Before people would just label them the Nancy Drew wannabes that always sat outside during lunch and had a weird van that seemed like the prime piece of real estate to hand out pot.

Which explained why so many people approached Shag with the hope of buying “A couple ounces.” 

Which only led to Shaggy being confused and that person never associating with the gang ever again.

Daph would usually just say, “I’ll explain it to you when you’re older dear.”

But now the student body president, and local queen of Coolsville, had been kidnapped a week ago and still no ransom was announced.

Suddenly people expected the Nancy Drews and their pot van to jump right in and search for the top rung of the social ladder. But for a while the gang hadn’t planned on getting involved, seeing as there was no man in a mask involved. So it didn’t really fall under their criteria of mysteries.

But when Natalie’s boyfriend approached them offering money to find her, it became clear the people thought they were going to find the lost girl.

After a couple more days of pestering and one altercation where one of the girls from the cheer squad shoved Shaggy against the lockers and demanded they find Nat unless they wanted to be thrown into the school swimming pool that would be “conveniently” filled with a mixture of Vaseline and Nair. 

Of course Daphne nearly strangled her to the ground, she had zero tolerance for anyone who threatened her gang (Shaggy especially) but Shag pulled her away and promised they’d try what they could to find her.

Unfortunately, the gang had no idea where to start and Daph’s constant suggestion that they just rip the cheer squad a new one and let the police handle it wasn’t helping.They had started by talking with the parents who didn’t even try to hide their disappointment at the sight of a bunch of seniors being their only hope to find their baby girl.

They then, skeptically, relayed anything they could remember regarding the kidnapping and their daughter.

The only useful things they got out of that conversation was the fact the Natalie was “the perfect little angel.” And that she was snatched the day of her 16th birthday party.

A party Daph and Fred had been invited to but both turned down since Scooby had a vet appointment that day and they didn’t want a stressed out Shag left alone with Velms who would definitely try to be sympathetic and comforting. But she would absolutely 100% beyond the shadow of a doubt fail horribly and certainly make it worse. Bless her heart.

A few leads would pop up here and there but for the most part they all led to zilch.

The students were getting anxious about Nat’s safety and annoyed with the gang who had yet to find anything on her. The cheerleaders had filled Shag’s locker with unopened tubes of Nair that all came tumbling down on him when he opened it. 

This only further convinced Daph that they needed to attack the squad and forget about finding Nat.

“Daph, like they just miss their friend. Wouldn’t you do the same thing if I was snatched by some freak?”  

“Shaggy, the last time you got kidnapped you were missing for 24 hours and even during that small amount of time I wasn’t able to function or think. I-If you were missing for the same amount of time as Nat than I........”

She never finished that sentence. 

They had left the principal’s office with grim looks on their faces.

The gang could see the gears in Velma’s head set at maximum speed as she tried to figure out their next damn move.

Fred grabbed the back of her shoulders and steered her through the crowd of people as she continued to think. Daph sent glares to any of the cheerleaders that walked by them and took a protective stance next to Shaggy. 

“Oh man my sweet knight in shining armor! Like, what would I do without you?”

She was pulled out of bodyguard mode by his clear teasing and sighed, she knew Shag wanted her to give them a break. But that would mean having to apologize to them, and Daphne was not a fan of saying sorry to people she disliked.

They all stopped at Velma’s locker, the wheels still turning it seemed, and Fred leaned against the door of the locker next to hers.

Shaggy and Daphne looked at each other and then back at Velms.

Whenever her brain was turned onto 100% she would usually be spaced out for a few minutes to a few hours. They were all hoping it would be the latter.

And they were lucky this time because after another five or so minutes with eyes glazed over, she popped back into reality with a start. Making Shaggy jump back and bump into one of the students. Both of them crashed to the ground.

Velma looked down and rolled her eyes, “Maybe we should call you Danger Prone Shaggy so that you and Daph can be all matchy matchy.” 

Daphne giggled nervously as she grabbed onto his arm and helped Shaggy stand up again, sending anxious glaces to a confused Fred, who didn’t get the point of Velma’s joke. 

Shaggy didn’t seem to hear what Velms said since he was too busy apologizing to whoever he crashed into and knocked down.

As he turned his attention back to the group, Daph let go of his arm and pretended to be busy brushing imaginary dirt off of her dress.

Fred just shrugged and turned back to Velma.

“You got anything Velms?”

She stared at all of them for a second before smirking, “Of course I do, why else would you guys keep me?” She turned around and started to enter the combination for her locker as she began to explain her idea.

“This is obviously so much bigger than just Natalie. I mean while it may be tempting to kidnap a 15 - no - 16 year old girl now.” She pulled open her locker, “I believe that this has something to do with her parents, her father more specifically.”

“Wait so you think Nat’s dad, like went out and pissed somebody off and like a decent human being the somebody that got pissed went and kidnapped the apple of his eye and now has him so nervous that he’s practically pulling his hair out without touching it?” Velma sent Shaggy a glare and turned back to searching her locker.

“I checked out a book on the McCall family seeing as they’re one of the oldest families in Coolsville and this town is bored as fuck.” She shoved a pile of, “light reading” books aside and got on her tip toes to try and reach up and grab whatever was behind them.

“And for the generation before ours, or Nat’s parents. The family had split off into two, one with Nat’s dad and - thank you Freddie - one with Nat’s uncle or her dad’s brother.” She held out the book that Fred had grabbed from the locker and handed to her.

She flipped through the pages quickly, most likely trying to spot one page in particular.

“Basically a lot of bickering and, ‘Why did daddy give you the nice house and I just got his $300,000 car??!!’ went down and the brothers stopped talking to each other.” Daph snorted.

“Been there done that, family feuds are so not as fun as you’d think.” Everyone rolled their eyes and sent Daphne a look that said, “Not now.”

“Aaaanywaaay, because Nat’s dad had made smarter business choices and isn’t a fucking moron his brother got pissed at him and decided the reason he was rich was because he inherited ‘more’ than him from their dad.”

Fred cleared his throat and nodded.

Daph sighed, “So....you think that this brother hated Nat’s dad so much that he kidnapped his niece....o-out of revenge for being poorer than his brother??”

Velma shrugged, “That would explain why there’s been no ransom demand, and the brothers have both been known to threaten each other in public. Plus he’s able to play the concerned uncle card so the police haven’t focused on him.”

Freddie groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Velms you do realize that is grasping at not even straws here, we’re grasping at coffee stirrers?” 

Velma shook head.

“Look this uncle recently rented out the newer yacht brought to the marina and he’s done nothing with it. He hasn’t even taken it out on the the water! I’ll bet you anything that he’s keeping Natalie there!”

Shaggy chuckled nervously, “Like, I hope you’re not willing to bet us all probably getting expelled if this doesn’t work out.”

He could see Daphne glance down at his hands out of the corner of his eye. They weren’t shaking, but he wasn’t really sure why she thought they would be shaking at all.

After Velma’s revelation they discussed the plan with the police.

While the idea got a lot of eyebrow raises, these meddling kids had never been wrong before.

So they dropped Shaggy and Daphne back at the high school so that if Nat was safe and intact they could call them and they would let the school know she was fine.

Fred and Velma were gonna be forced to stay in the squad car and that was the best they could get.

As Shag and Daph waited for the call from Velma it became clear how riled up the students were getting. The cheerleaders sneered and others sent them warning glares. They had no idea why them not being able to find Nat would automatically be their fault. Solving mysteries grounded in reality was never their thing and Nat was no exception.

Shaggy sighed, that was just the logic of high school, he was so glad he only had less than one year left of this hell.

And then he gulped, if this didn’t work out then who knows what the principal would do to them. He could force them to repeat a year or worse, expel them.

If that happened it wouldn’t be any good for Fred and Velma who both applied to Yale and Stanford. He glanced over at Daphne who was twiddling her thumbs and just looking pretty in general. She wanted to go to NYU in a desperate attempt to escape her family’s stupid traditions and live as far away from them as she could within reason. 

He felt his heartbeat start to pick up.

The future always seemed to make him nervous. 

But the chance that this would ruin his friend’s futures, Daphne’s future, it just made his skin run cold.

He wondered how their parents would react.

He gulped, he had a pretty good idea of how his parents would respond.

He took a deep breath and bit into his lower lip, he needed to calm down. If he panicked now then he would just go absolutely insane if Nat wasn’t okay.

It had been around an hour since they had been dropped off and there was still no call from Velms and no news of the condition of of the victim.

Daphne looked over at Shag and saw that he seemed to be in his beginning stages of panic, she wasn’t totally sure where the panic was coming from but the current stakes people had put on them were even making her nervous. 

She walked over to him slowly an began to make a grab for his hand, “Shags...you alri-”

Her moment was cut off by the sound of the Dairy Queen theme. 

Shaggy’s ringtone.

They jumped and seemed frozen for a second, both just looking at each other.

Exhaling, he grabbed his phone out of his back pocket and answered.

“Velma?......... It what?......With his girlfriend......She’s just....gone???” Daphne was holding her breath as she heard the bits and pieces and felt her heart sink as Shaggy’s face fell and his breathing picked up.

She wasn’t there.

They had no idea where she was.

Or if she was still alive.

His hand fell back down to his side, Velma still talking to him on the other end, probably not aware that he wasn’t listening.

Daph watched as his eyes began to dart around, “Shaggy a-are you alright?? You need to breathe!” She grabbed onto his hand which he quickly tightened around hers.

“Hey! Nancy’s! How’s Nat is she doing okay??” Daph groaned as she looked around trying to spot a place to escape.She could hear him begin to wheeze, totally at a loss for breath, as more people began to approach them and demand Nat’s condition. Making it even harder for Daph to plot an escape route.

After a second she groaned and made sure her grip on Shag’s hand was tight.

With her other arm she began to elbow people out of the way, trying to find somewhere where everything would be quiet.

Out of the corner of her eye she spotted the van parked next to the front courtyard. She looked back at Shaggy, who was definitely not okay, and tightened her grip on his hand and choosing to ignore all the people that were calling out to them.

She tuned them out as she opened the front doors and made sure her and Shaggy didn’t come tumbling down the front steps.

Looking back again her heart ached to see him like his.

Sure she had seen it happen before but usually Scooby helped him out a lot. 

And this was definitely nothing like her mother’s panic attacks that just required a shot of tequila and the Cheetah Girls 2 sound track.

Luckily the van had been left unlocked and she opened the back doors, climbing in and pulling Shag in with her.

Letting go of his hand, she crawled over and shut the back doors.

Now that she had nothing to tune out, Shag’s shallow, panicked breath was the only thing she could hear. She turned back and looked at his pale face, “Shag wha-what do you need me to do?” She crawled back over to him and grabbed both of his hands but he pulled them away. He cradled his head in his hands, still failing to breathe properly.

Daphne felt like crying and screaming and having her own panic attack but she would be leaving Shaggy alone. And that wasn’t an option.

“Sh-Shags look at me wh-what’s wrong?!”

She placed both of her hands on either side of his face and forced him to look at her face. His brown eyes were tearing up and were darting all over the place, almost refusing to stay focused on one thing.

As he tried to speak to her he seemed to be speaking fast in his head but it came out in a jumbled mess that he could barely squeeze out through panicked wheezes.

“W-We...sh-she’s- we’re never- gonna find her......Sh-She could - She could be dead!! A-and we’re gonna be......m-......my parents are-......they’re gonna kill me.” Daphne shook her head, her eyes were probably tearing up just like his.

He kept going on and on to the point that it looked painful for him to try and talk to her, to barely string these sentences together.

She couldn’t stand to see this, to see Shaggy, her Shaggy, losing himself and she couldn’t think of anything to do. She watched his eyes that seemed to examine every detail of her face.

Those eyes always made her happy.

She loved those eyes dearly, and couldn’t stand to see them so terrified.

What would she do to protect those eyes?

Maybe a better question is what wouldn’t she do for those eyes to stay safe.

Nothing.

There is nothing she wouldn’t do to protect those eyes, and the perfection they belong to.

Everything suddenly felt warm, not just the space around them but they themselves felt warm. A nice, comforting warmth, like the kind you get from a hug. But the kind of hug you want.

It had taken Daph a few seconds to process where this warmth was coming from.

And then she remembered that a few seconds ago she leaned forward and pressed her lips against Shaggy’s, which I guess is typically classified as a kiss. 

They stayed in that position for a while, Daph’s hands resting on his cheeks as they both relaxed. At that moment, neither of them wanted to move at all because then that would mean they’d either pretend this never happened or talk about it.

Eventually that warmth had to fade, so Daph pulled away gently.

Not nearly brave enough to open her eyes and look into that face.

She noted that his breathing seemed to be evening out which was good. She slid her hands down his cheeks and let them rest on her knees.

Letting out a heavy sigh, she opened her eyes and was quickly welcomed by the shocked face of her good old friend Shaggy. His eyes were wide as he looked at her, clearly trying to process the events that had just conspired.

“Wh-....What?” Daph flinched and bit her lip.

Shag was quiet again for a few seconds before saying, “W-Why the hell....Why did you kiss me??” Daph’s heartbeat picked up and she felt her cheeks go red. ‘Because I’m so freaking in love with you to the point that it physically affects me and I hate it but I think I’d go crazy without it.’

That was the first answer that popped up in her head and it was a little too over eager and on top of that it included the stunning revelation that she was in love with him.

Something even she herself was not aware of.

“I-...I just...I don’t know!! Isn’t that just what you do in the movies?? I-I just....you know figured since kissing is more powerful than modern medicine.” She blurted that all out a lot louder than she needed to but it’s the thought that counts.

Shag shook his head, “You tried to end my panic attack by like using something only Disney would think of?” Daphne rolled her eyes, her cheeks still feeling hot as ever.

“Well it worked didn’t it? Look at you! You’re all cool and okay. I mean....are you doing better?” She rested her hand on his shoulder, her voice quickly becoming concerned. He let out a sigh and leaned his head back so that is was rest on the back of the front seats.

“S-Sorry, it was just a little too much all at once.” She shook her head.

“Don’t apologize unless you did something wrong.” He chuckled and looked back forward toward her, good lord those eyes are back, “Shags, we’re gonna be fine, you know that right? It’s always gonna be okay no matter what happens. And even though we may have been wrong about Nat this one time that-....that doesn’t mean we won’t find her at all.” 

She held onto his hand gingerly and stroked it with her thumb.

“She’s gonna be okay Shag’s, we’re always gonna be okay.”

He stared down at their intertwined fingers and nodded slowly.  

Daphne smiled, “Now we could either stay in here and wait for Velma and Freddie, or we wait for them back in the school.”

“Like, staying here’s good.” 

Nodding, she relaxed her position, not letting go of his hands.

For the next few minuted they just sat in that familiar, comfortable silence waiting for their friends to return with the next plan.

The main thing on Daphne’s mind during that time was, out of all the kisses she’d experienced in her life, which was a lot; this one was definitely her favorite.

[loving-barnes]

UNEXPECTED SURPRISE – STEVE ROGERS

(A/N): Oh man, this could be much better. Oh well. 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x f!reader

Summary: Steve is sent away for six long months. When he comes back, something unexpected happened while he was gone.

Warning: fluffy fluff

Words: 2800+

FULL MASTERLIST | STEVE ROGERS MASTERLIST

UNEXPECTED SURPRISE – STEVE ROGERS

Steve was looking into the (e/c) eyes that were filled not only with love but also with worry and sadness. It was their last night together before he had to leave away for six months. Six months without his love felt like an eternity to him. They had spent the last few days together, trying to have some quality time alone, without the team’s presence. The couple was together for almost two years and they were happy – until Fury announced, Rogers, Barnes, and Vision had to go on a mission that was in Buenos Aires. Steve could feel how (Y/N)’s heart almost broke when she heard the news and so did his.

“I love you, you know that,” he brushed away a strand of her hair, giving her a sincere smile. “We will make it. It’s only six months, (Y/N). Nothing will change. I’ll be back before Christmas,” he kissed the tip of her nose.

“We won’t celebrate your birthday,” she bit her lower lip, trying to hold the tears back. “I was planning on making a huge party for you. It’s your 100th birthday this year.”

He smirked. “I’m too old for you.”

“Yes, you are. I’m a gold digger and I only want to date old, rich men,” she gave him a playful wink and snuggled her naked body closer to his. “Old, rich men with a hot body,” she kissed his left pectoral and hummed contentedly. “I wish…”

“Shh,” he stroked her hair and leaned his chin on top of her head. “I wish the same, but there’s nothing we can do about it,” Steve sighed. “Six months – it’s a long time but it’s not forever.”

“I know,” her lower lip trembled and she sobbed. “Sorry,” she apologized.

“Oh, baby,” his hand quickly found her face and he made her look up at him. “Please, don’t cry,” his face saddened. Steve quickly gave her a deep kiss that was meant to fill her up with all the love that was in him. “I’ll try to write you or call you every time I can, I promise. I know Fury said we are not allowed to communicate with any of you. However, I will find a way to at least send you a text or something.”

She swallowed a sob. “Promise me, you will come back to me, alive, in one piece, still filled with the love you are giving me now,” (Y/N) tried to smile but failed as she started to cry. “I’m going to miss you, yes. Unfortunately, I’m more afraid something might happen to you. I’ll not be there to protect your ass,” she tried to joke.

The man laughed, pulling her into a tight embrace, laughing into her ear. “Yeah, I’m going to miss your jokes, baby. You don’t have to worry, (Y/N). I’ll have Vision and Bucky there. Besides, I’m the Captain America. I’ll be more than fine.”

“Oh, Steve,” she laughed a little and hid her face in the crook of his neck. “Just hold me until you go.”

...

Standing in front of the jet and watching Steve coming out of it to say goodbye one last time was hard. (Y/N) was the only one there. The rest of the team said their goodbye last night when they were having a small party that Steve and (Y/N) avoided perfectly. The woman dryly gulped and did her best not to start crying again. Her heart was beating fast, trying to escape her chest and run to Steve.

“You okay?” he asked even when he knew it was the stupidest question ever. He quickly took her into his strong, protective arms before she started to cry. “I’m going to miss you, baby.”

“Me too,” she sighed. “I love you, Steve. Don’t forget that,” she looked at him. Their lips connected in one last loving kiss that felt like an eternity. It was becoming harder to let him go. “I-I,” she mumbled incoherently. “I have to go because I won’t be able t-to, uh,” she stopped in the middle of the sentence. “Please come back in one piece.” That was the last sentence she said to him. Afterwards, she turned on her heel and left.

“I love you too!” she heard him say, but she wasn’t able to turn around even when a small smile appeared on her lips.

Saying goodbye to someone was always hard and when it came to Steve, it was even harder. Luckily, Natasha and Wanda were immediately by her side, taking her to the nearest ice cream shop for a big treat. Their mission, as her best friends, was to keep her mind occupied for the first few days.

They spent nights together, watching movies and talked about everything. They also discussed if Steve learned something new in bed – they always asked about it when they had a slumber party. Wanda talked about various boys she met while taking classes of English in a private school in New York. Natasha mentioned something about Bruce and their relationship. Their mission to keep (Y/N) occupied was successful.

When new missions had started, (Y/N) became more comfortable with being alone. She always thought about Steve and imagined what they would be doing if he was in the tower. Tony, as a good friend and the new leader of the smaller team, gave her a lot of work and missions to do with the girls. She even lost track of time and sometimes had forgotten about the days and dates.

It was September when she noticed one thing wasn’t right. After a lot of thinking and finding out the problem, she called Natasha. Her face was pale and there were tears in her eyes. “Nat? Can you come, here? I’m in a big trouble.”

…

It was December 18th and the Christmas mood was all around New York and the Tower. Tony hired people to decorate the corridors and the main room with Christmas decorations. All of them were spending Christmas together. He even invited Clint’s family to join them. The Iron Man promised a family party with no other guests and with a little booze. They accepted.

Natasha was walking near the runway, waiting for the jet to arrive with the rest of their team. The mission was prolonged for almost two weeks, but finally, they were coming home. The redhead had a job to do and she didn’t know how to do it. She was fiddling with her fingers, nervously walking here and there like a lion in a cage. Occasionally, she asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. about the time and their location.

“You can do this,” she talked to herself. “You only need to send him up,” she whispered and looked up when she heard the plane approaching the tower. They were here.

She was the only one waiting for their arrival. The rest of the Avengers were in the main room, getting ready for a big welcome party - Tony insisted. Clint was with his family and he planned to arrive two days before Christmas.

When the plane landed and the door opened, Vision was the first one who got out, greeting Natasha. After two minutes, Bucky and Steve came out, both holding two big bags. They looked at her and gave her a big smile. “Romanoff, what a pleasant surprise,” Bucky said mockingly. “We were expecting a bigger audience, but this is better than nothing.”

Natasha looked at Steve and dryly gulped. The little grin he had on the face was gone. “W-Where is (Y/N)?” he asked nervously. She took a deep breath. “Natasha? Where-is-(Y/N)? Is she hurt?” he panicked.

“No. No! She’s fine, Steve. She’s more than fine,” she hesitated.

“What’s going on?” the brunet asked.

“Listen, Steve, I need you to go to her and s-she will explain,” she smiled at him. “She isn’t hurt and she didn’t find anyone, don’t worry. She still loves you.”

That made him relax a little and without any other question, he went to the elevator with his bags, not caring if the rest of the team wanted to greet him. There was only one person he had to see and that was the woman he loved the most. Something was definitely wrong with her and he needed to take her into his arms and make things better.

Once he got to their shared floor, he left the bags at the elevator door and walked through the hallway. “(Y/N)?” he called her name but nothing happened. When he didn’t find her in their living room and kitchen, he went to the bedroom. Slowly opening the door, he noticed her standing at the window, wearing a fluffy red bathrobe he gave her for her birthday.

“Hi, (Y/N),” he smiled; glad she was well and alive. “Nat told me to go to you. Is everything alright? Are you hurt? What is happening?” he started to ask many questions.

“C-Can you please sit down?” she asked quietly, not stepping away from the window.

“Baby, you are scaring me,” he did as he was told, sitting down on their bed while his eyes never left her figure. “Please tell me what’s wrong. I’m here for you. I won’t run away. Is your family okay? Please, (Y/N), tell me. This is killing me,” he begged.

She had to take a deep breath as her hand untied the bathrobe. Very slowly, with shaking legs, she turned to him. (Y/N) was more than happy to see him after six months that became harder than she thought they would be. Clearing her throat, she slowly took off the piece of fluffy material and revealed her big secret.

Steve’s blue eyes widened and he put a hand on his wide-open mouth. Everything looked normal except her big round belly. “I-I’m pregnant,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes while her hands stroked her belly that carried a child in it.

The man quietly stood up from the bed. (Y/N) expected him to leave the room without saying a word like she predicted. His next action only surprised her. He ran to her, both hands landing on her cheeks as he kissed her passionately. It wasn’t just a welcome kiss. It was filled with love that was now even bigger and deeper. The kiss was new to both of them and it brought tears to their eyes.

“I-I’m going to be a dad?” he asked, crying. “W-what, when? How? I mean, I just,” he was stammering as a smile came back on his face. “We’re going to have a baby?”

“Y-You’re not- ?” her eyes widened but any other words were swallowed as he kissed her again lovingly.

“How could I be?” he pulled her into his arms. “We are having a baby,” he whispered. “You gave me the biggest and the best Christmas gift ever – even when it is totally unexpected.” After that, he kneeled in front of her, putting both of his big hands on the belly, kissing it.

She combed his hair with fingers, smiling and crying at the same time. “Oh, Steve.”

“Tell me everything, baby. I want to know every detail. How far are you? When did you find out? Why haven’t you told Fury to call me back because you needed me,” he kissed her belly one more time before he stood up and dragged her to the bed where they sat down.

“Well, I found it out in September…”

…

“Nat? Can you come here? I’m in a big trouble.”

The redhead looked at her phone confused and then replied to her friend. “What’s happening? Can you tell me now? I’m kind of in the middle of a lunch with Bruce,” she sighed, her eyes looked at the man she was in love with.

“Y-You,” (Y/N) started to cry. “You have to come here, now!”

Natasha didn’t like the crying. It must have been something big and bad when her friend was crying. “I’ll be there in five,” and she hung up the phone, quickly putting a piece of meat into her mouth. “I’ll be right back. Something happened to (Y/N) and she’s crying.”

“Should I come?” Bruce asked, putting the fork next to his plate.

“No, finish your meal. I’ll call you if necessary,” she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and hurriedly left the main kitchen. She only hoped (Y/N) wasn’t crying because she missed the Captain. For the last two months, she was doing well. Why was she crying?

When she arrived at (Y/N) and Steve’s floor, there was silence at first, but then her ears registered the sobbing. They led her to the main bathroom on the floor. When she entered it, her friend was sitting on the ground, crying her eyes out. “(Y/N), what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” she questioned as she scanned the surrounding, looking for the cause of her breakdown.

The woman didn’t have to answer because Natasha found the answer on the slab next to the sink. There was a pregnancy test and it was positive. “Is this what I think it is?” she asked, looking at the test with wide eyes. “Are you pregnant?” What a stupid question.

“Nat, I-I can’t have this baby,” the woman started to talk. “Steve’s not here and he doesn’t know about it. I don’t want to have kids now when he’s not around. W-What if he doesn’t want kids? I just… I can’t,” she was shaking her head while her body was shivering.

“No, (Y/N), don’t think like that,” she sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders while one hand quickly found her mobile and texted Wanda. “Steve loves you and he loves kids. You saw how he adores children when they are around him. You two are a great couple. Maybe it’s soon but who cares? You are going to have a baby with Steve! The child will be surrounded by the best aunts and uncles, filled with love.”

“Nat…”

“Stop it,” she frowned. “Don’t think negative, understand?”

“But-“

“No, (Y/N). You are going to be an amazing mom with the best man by your side. Don’t even think he doesn’t want kids.”

…

“I was really scared,” (Y/N) looked into Steve’s eyes, smiling a little. “We never talked about being parents, having a kid together, starting a family. After I got checked and the pregnancy was confirmed by a doctor, I talked to Fury. He refused to contact you, said you have to focus on the mission. I was frustrated, angry and sad – call it pregnancy hormones.”

“How far are you?” he took her hands and gently kissed each on their back.

“This is my sixth month. I’m finishing the second trimester at the end of this month,” (Y/N) explained to him. “The baby is totally and completely healthy, you don’t have to be worried,” she gave him a resurrecting smile. “Although, the baby is going to be weird just like us,” she giggled. “It’ll have your super-soldier genes and my weirdness.”

The man laughed at the statement and immediately kissed her temple. “I’m so happy, (Y/N),” he smiled. “You are carrying our child. You are giving me my secret dream. I love you so much. I love you both so much.” His hand once again rested on the round belly, stroking it gently. He started to laugh. “The timing could not be better,” he grinned at her.

She was confused. “What are you saying?” she narrowed her eyes.

Steve’s hands went into the pocket of his jeans and he pulled out a small velvet box. “I wanted to do it on Christmas Eve but I think there’s no point in waiting any longer,” he gave her the box.

Her mouth almost dropped on the floor. “I-is it what I think it is?” she blinked at him a few times, not believing what was happening. The woman almost dropped the box when she opened it. There was a silver ring with a diamond in it and it was just perfect. “Oh, Steve,” he made her cry - again.

“Will you marry me, (Y/N)? Will you do the honour of becoming my wife, Mrs Rogers?” he took out the ring, slowly putting it on her ring finger. He already knew her answer.

“Yes, Steve! I will marry you,” she squealed, wrapping around his neck and kissing him deeply. “I love you, Captain.”

“I love you too, baby,” he nuzzled his nose against hers, smiling. He was the luckiest man on Earth. The woman he loved wanted to marry him and they were expecting a baby. “Can you tell me the gender of the baby? I believe you know it.”

She nodded. “I’m going to reveal it at the party that is happening tonight. Everybody wants to know it and since you are back, I will finally reveal it.”

“Can you tell me?” he begged.

“No. You have to wait for another hour or two. I’ve waited for you for six months. You can wait for a few hours,” she winked at him, gently kissing his lips.

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[measuringlife]

Measuring Monday: Career Aspirations & Trajectory

The first job I said I wanted to have as a little kid (maybe 5 years old or so) “when I grew up” was a fashion designer. I remember this “fashion plates” toy I had where you could mix and match the plates of outfit tops and bottoms. Then pencil /charcoal rub across them onto paper so you could color in the outfit you created. I also had a light up sketch table for tracing that I remember I really liked. I got into playing Barbie and dressing them up however that dream didn’t last very long. In like 2nd grade I wanted to be a judge, perhaps because there were a lot of early-mid nighties high profile trials that sparked my interest. I soon learned that in order to become a judge you had to be a lawyer first, so that was my career ambition much to my mother’s delight for a few years.

In 7th grade, I started watching the Today Show on NBC before school and set my sights on broadcast journalism. I loved both the idea of anchoring the Today Show or being an MTV VJ. The more the 24-hour news cycle evolved the more I wanted to be a broadcaster, the round the clock coverage of Princess Diana's death was particularly memorable. While watching the Today Show I saw a commercial for Quinnipiac University (well at the time it was a College)’s new Ed McMahon School of Communications. Thus my love affair with Quinnipiac started.

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts I worked a lot in high school, plus my school was like 25 minutes away from home so I didn’t participate in extracurricular activities, even if I did there was a very limited “media” program - I think I only got a semester of “media” class in my junior year and I was never into print media so the newspaper wasn’t of interest either. However when it came time to start of Quinnipiac I started networking with the college radio station upperclassmen. I found myself doing the news for the daily morning show my first semester and then starting my second semester had my own weekly 2-hour radio show with a rotating cast of co-hosts over the years. I even did my internship at a top 40 station in New Haven. I was really torn when it came to graduation, but I took the safe route and got a free masters from the University of Connecticut in higher education and student affairs.

I start my post-college years working at UConn as a part-time hall director which meant free housing, free laundry, and a free meal plan plus a small stipend. It was a solid gig, but I definitely worked more than 20 hours a week. The summer between grad school years I did an internship in Alabama of all places at Auburn University. My goal was to move to California after grad school so I applied to 2 California schools, one in DC, FL, NC, and then Auburn almost as a joke, but I paper I really liked their program. After phone interviews with a number of schools, I also was shocked to realize that I really liked my interview with Auburn. Since I never studied abroad I thought why not spent 10 weeks in Alabama. Well, I loved it - much to my surprise!

When it came time to start job searching for my first full-time job out of grad school I had my eye on as I came to call it “the smile of the US” aka anything along a coast East, West or South. California was my top choice, but I knew I had to go where the jobs were. In addition to Cali, I was focused on warmer climates so the Southeast, particularly Florida were high on my list. I was also searching in North Texas since my Dad had just moved from south Florida to Dallas. I also kept my eye out for any openings at Auburn. I ended up having on-campus interviews at 2 schools in North Texas and one school in south Florida, plus an interview offer at a school in Savannah. I ended up choosing to work at Midwestern State University in Wichita Falls, Texas. Which was about 2 hours north of Dallas and 10 miles south of the Oklahoma border. I really like the school, the job, and the prospect of being 2 hours away from my Dad. I did not, however, realize what a podunk town it was and what a fish out of water I was going to be. Thankfully I did find some friends and I really needed them after only 5 months of living in North Texas when my Dad died. After about 10 days out of the office, I came back to work and Texas which some folks didn’t think I would, but I quickly realized I couldn’t stand to stay there without him.

I started looking for jobs in spring while nursing my wounds back to health with a new puppy and watching season 7 of American Idol. I applied to one job in NYC thinking that maybe I should head home. However, I soon learned of a job opening back at Auburn in the office where I interned. I actually interviewed for the job on campus on my Dad’s birthday. It was comforting to interview with people who knew why I was leaving a job after less than a year and know my recent history. Auburn was a good “layover” of sorts. I loved my job and my office, but my social life left more to be desired. After a serious relationship started to bloom and I began to feel real pressure to put down roots in Alabama I knew it was time to leave. I needed to date in a city that I could live more long term.

My next stop was George Mason University in Fairfax, VA. Mason was actually one of the schools I was seriously considering for my grad school internship. Unfortunately, this office was saddled with issues from the beginning, staff turn over, vacancies not filled, lack of direction. I also had a combative relationship with my eventual supervisor. I’m convinced there was some ageism involved, she thought I was climbing the ranks too quickly and saw me as a kid. Keep in mind she never made any attempt to try and know me. All she saw were my flaws and she refused to ever give me any of her time unless I begged for it. In retrospect trying to get her to “like me” or “respect me” or “be proud of me” led in part to my workaholism because I felt rejected and abandoned by an authority figure (only in hindsight and after a lot of therapy can I piece that all together). It was a slow burn of trauma, but traumatic nonetheless. I had spent a solid 18 months searching jobs in southern California, where my heart was set to go and the guy I was seriously dating (spoiler alert he's now my fiance)  was also very interested in a Cali move, but the jobs weren’t right. I interviewed for three jobs out there and turned down the two I was offered. At this point, I couldn’t wait for California anymore. I was so burnt out that I started seriously applying for jobs outside of higher ed.

I found myself in a few interview processes in the DC Metro corporate sphere. I kept my eye on Director level jobs in higher ed in DC, but given my specialty area they were far and few between. Imagine my surprise that while I was in the middle of a lengthy interview process with one company, my dream titled job came up in DC. The process moved quickly and I got the "dream" job. Year one on the job started off with a steep learning curve. I was trying so hard to do it all, to impress everyone, to come off confident and self-assured that I was burning the wick at both ends. And this was BEFORE 50% of my staff left. Okay in all fairness I run a two-person office, so when my one staffer left (and I 100% understand why he did, he was given a bigger shit sandwich than I was handed and he had to eat it longer). I was alone 6 months into the job as I approached my work's peak season. It was hell, I was drowning, and stupid me didn’t realize it. After years of learning how to survive nightmare situations, your reflexes kick in. I was in survival mode and I was surviving at all cost. The biggest collateral damage was on my mental health and my sleep. I had never slept 2-4 hours a night for weeks at a time and it was taking its toll.

When I hired my new staff member in the midst of this I made it a point to reintroduce myself after the storm had passed. I even quoted Fight Club saying “you met me at a very strange time in my life.” Strange = horrific, but I wasn’t ready to acknowledge had bad it was and how much of it I let happen. Ultimately like most people in recovery, I felt like everything was happening TO ME, but I now know it was happening FOR ME. I needed to hit rock bottom particularly around my workaholism and lack of boundaries. The past year has been so much better for so many reasons, including a wonderful new supervisor who for the first time in a long time I know undoubtedly has my back. I don’t know how long I’ll stay where I am or in the field in general. I'm working all these side hustles and really digging into this project to see if I can achieve my dream of living a creative and connection-filled life on my own terms.

[our-legacy-rp-blog]

MONI has been accepted for the character ISOLDA ARUNDEL

We absolutely love your take on Isolda, she should be an excellent addition to the RP. She is such an interesting character, and you certaintly captured that. Welcome to OL, and be sure you fill out the checklist HERE.

OOC name & pronouns: Moni, she/her Age: 25 Timezone: CST

Character’s name: Isolda Aruden FC choice: Candice Patton Position request: N/A

Birthday: May 10; Taurus.

Earth Sign; Taurus sign is know to be practical, patient, and thinkers. Slow and study wins the race, but once she finds something that catches her eye, there is no stopping her from finding the answer. While her sister is more of the extroverted bull, Izzy is the introverted bull who watches, waits, and then charges. She likes to look at all situations first before she goes forward with her plans.

Wand: 10 ½; Beech; Unicorn Tail Hair.

Patronus: Not everyone can produce a patronus and I’m one of those Harry Potter fans who doesn’t believe everyone should be able to produce one. When I read through Isolda’s Past part, I realized she could be a smart wizard but still not be able to master how to produce a patronus just yet. The problem is that she hasn’t fully maintained a positive memory strong enough for her to fully produce one. Along with her worries and change of heart she is having currently with her mother, it’s still hard for her to fully produce something longer than three seconds. This is something only her sister knows about to a certain extent. 

Boggart: Izzy’s boggart takes the form of her sister and mother being tortured and dying. When she first encountered a boggart at her house, it had been her trapped in small spaces. She was afraid that she would not be able to figure out how to get out of a space like that and that she failed to solve something. Yet when she was in Hogwarts, the form of the Boggart started to change. While encountering one at school, many people thought that it might be a werewolf or another magical monster. However, when it came out to the image of her mother and sister slowly dying, she realized that though she might have her differences with her mother and her ideals, her mother and especially her sister still meant so much to her that if she ever lost them, she was not sure how she would live on.

HEADCANONS:

Izzy has taken a strong interest in history and research during her time at Hogwarts. In her sixth year, she has been granted special permission to explore rare books that Hogwarts would receive along with access to the restricted section even though she is not a seventh year. She keeps multiple notebooks with different topics she is looking into. For those she doesn’t want her mother or sister to know about, she labels them something else to throw them off. 

As a stress reliever, Izzy bakes. Baking is full of precision, patience, and skill. She loves looking up different recipes and techniques to help improve her skill and taste palette. Her favorite thing to bake is bread because you have to pay attention to how much of each ingredient you put into your creation. She had once joked with her mother that if school didn’t work out, she would open a bakery in Diagon Alley. Her mother, with little to no shock to Izzy, was not amused with this comment but deep down she was sure her mother could agree that she could make a mean banana bread. 

As twins, Izzy always felt like the closest person in her life was Lissa. Lissa was her complete opposite but they complimented each other well. Izzy was afraid that once they got into Hogwarts, they wouldn’t have a close bond anymore. Her theory was proven wrong just a few months into their first year. Though their house brought out their best, and sometimes worst, qualities, Izzy felt just as close to her sister than ever before. There are just certain things Izzy feels it’s best to keep to herself rather than tell her sister. Other than that, Lissa is the only person Izzy feels comfortable talking to freely. 

Before going to Hogwarts, Izzy was gifted with a cat to keep her company while her and her sister shared an owl for mail. Izzy had found over the years that she was more of a dog person than a cat person but her tabby cat, Neptune, has grown on her over the years. Neptune has a way of comforting Izzy when she doens’t realize she needs to calm down or concentrate. He doesn’t get in her way or bother her all that much but he will make his presence known when he wants to. According to Izzy, Neptune might be mixed with something else other than 100% cat. He is too smart sometimes she feels but like her sister points out to her, she could be over thinking things.

HISTORY:

The Arundel family wanted for nothing in the wake of the Second Wizarding War. With many families decimated, their lines broken or simply killed off, the Arundels rose to the top of pureblood wizarding society like a predator on its prey. They’d always been an aspiring family, making connections where they could and intermarrying where possible, but there never seemed to get the recognition and status that they desired - they could never reach the highest positions in the Ministry of Magic, they could never secure alliances with the top families. But when many pure families sunk away with shame at the end of the war, the Arundel’s rose to the top: Ellise Arundel was perfectly placed in the Ministry to become Vice Minister of Magic, second only to Lowell Tegus. Securing the spot during his election, Ellise became the one Arundel to succeed where others hadn’t. Their pride kept them from boasting, but the family was happy - and so was Ellise. From then on, they held their heads high at gatherings and parties, but most importantly, they remembered who their friends were now that their fortunes had turned around.

Already married and with two twin daughters, Ellise was a busy woman with strategy on the mind and not a lot of time to spare for others. She tried to be there for her daughters, but the truth was that her job was everything: as Vice Minister, she was working with Minister Tegus in those early days to reform ancient laws, arrest werewolves, and establish calm among a people who were terrified. Ellise hardly saw the twins for several years back then, lost as she was in her work. A strong-headed woman with a vision for the future, Ellise became partners with Tegus to help restore the wizarding world to its original glory: something that they hadn’t experienced for many years. Popular among the members of several Departments for always sparing them the time to talk, listen, or answer questions, Ellise helped to bring support to Tegus’ campaign - as well as to humanise his cold approach to the werewolf issue. In office, Ellise was Tegus’ essential right hand in everything he did: she helped coordinate aurors from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, but she also helped to bury those who had died during the London Riot with dignity.

Izzy was always the quieter of the twins - the more likely to be in her sister’s shadow or to follow her lead. Lissa never took advantage of that, nor did she push Izzy to be someone she wasn’t: Lissa was instead loud enough and bold enough for the two of them. Izzy was cautious where her sister was rash; she was contemplative where her sister was talkative. Izzy was a child who thought about what she wanted to say before she said it - and even then, she’d think about the ramifications of those words. It was less about hurting someone’s feelings than protecting her own: Izzy knew the weight of words and the effect they could have. She saw it first hand when she and her sister would spend a few hours in their mother’s office sometimes, playing in the corner while Ellise went about her meetings and planning. Izzy loved her mother, but the force of her determination was both an awe-inspiring and terrifying thing to her. Growing up around such a strong woman who used words to convince the wizarding world that the problem was under control when Izzy, sitting in her mother’s office and hearing of the werewolf attacks and protests, knew those words were lies.

Groomed, trained, and pampered, Izzy and her sister spent their time learning how to be the best pureblood women that they could be. Given theoretical lessons on magical history and magic itself, Izzy found that she enjoyed pouring herself into knowledge more than the social aspect of her world. It was a distraction from what was going on around her, but Izzy enjoyed researching the history behind everything that was happening in the wizarding world, looking for pieces of the puzzle. In her mind, it was as though she could assemble all the separate parts and find the thing that they had in common - the one thing that would undo all of the trouble in the world. Reluctantly, Izzy was pulled out of her world of papers and books to socialise, her sister whispering names and titles in her ear at parties, the two of them smiling nicely.

Hogwarts came with a warning from Ellise: watch what you say and who you say it to. Izzy had never been one to spill secrets, so her mother had nothing to fear from her. The twins were separated into different houses, which became the first time that Izzy had to really fend for herself. Ravenclaw changed Izzy from being a closed off girl into someone interested in collaborative work, researching, and group projects. She was far from being the leader of any of these things, but she enjoyed the feeling of putting minds together to work toward a whole. For so long, the only mind that she’d connected with had been her sister’s, but now Izzy had a whole house full of smart people willing to put their effort toward learning - and she realised that she wasn’t out of place at all.

Izzy is a smart, logical, and problem-solving girl who thrives on filling her mind with dates, facts, and small tidbits. She’s perpetually searching for a bigger picture - something that all her knowledge can build to - and she often gets disheartened because she can’t quite get there. Though Izzy was raised to believe in her mother’s cause, that werewolves are monsters who need to be caged, it’s only within the last few months that Izzy’s faith has begun to waver. For the first time in her life, she has doubts: what if her mother is wrong? What if there is a better way to handle the werewolves? Izzy doesn’t dare speak out to her family and especially not her sister, all of who believe so strongly in what they’re doing. Keeping secrets isn’t hard for Izzy, but it does weigh on her mind a lot, especially when she has to keep up appearances as a hard and fast supporter of her mother’s agenda.

NOW:

After her O.W.L.S, Izzy received an O in History, showing her strength in History of Magic. Research had become one of her strongest skills over the years making her a tutor for those in her year and younger who needed help with their projects or reports. She had been brought in by her head of house and Professor Binns (still mysteriously teaching History of Magic and floating around like he never died in the first place) to talk about her place outside of Hogwarts. They encouraged her to possibly take a research internship during the summer before her last year in America. All she had to do was figure out what area she wanted to concentrate on. Wanting to write to her mother about the opportunity, she knew her mother wouldn’t be the biggest fan of this career choice. Ellise would want her daughters to take respectable jobs and well respected jobs. Izzy knew her sister would want to follow in their mother’s footsteps and it was suppose to be what she wanted too. After all, her mother was the one who was able to accomplish what all the other Arundel’s weren’t able to do: get the recognition and status they deserved. 

With all the events happening during her sixth year, Izzy is starting to realize she wants to do more to look into the laws that her mother helped enforce. Were the supernatural creatures her mother and the Ministry, a now close friend of the family, the monster they claimed them to be? Izzy could be like her sister and believe everything that was told to them. Izzy, however, was all about the facts. And the more she kept looking into the history, documents, and anything she was able to get her hands on, the more she began to realize that maybe what everything her mother and the Minister preached wasn’t 100% true. Now close to the end of her sixth year, Izzy realizes that there are a lot of decisions she has to make and secrets she needs to keep to herself. Even though she is close to her sister, she knows if she voices her opinions about her future and her current opinion, she might lose the ones she loves the most. 

[theforestwarden]

I didn’t know that I was starving (till I tasted you) | Molly & Forest

Flashback depicting the marvelous date between Forest and @scribeswhocode  that happened on 2/14/17 that I know you all want to know about  ;)

“Hey keep them closed Missy” Forest chided as he guided Molly into the apartment his entire body practically buzzing. He’d been so anxious about this night he was running on like 4 hours of sleep, but everything was going so well now that the anxiety had turned into excitement.  “Alright. Now you can open!” He said sweeping his arm out towards the dining room. He’d put everything out just before he left, the completely 100 percent Kosher vegetable lasagne salad and garlic bread all spread on the table, next to the beautiful center piece of tiny christmas lights and  flowers and from one of the plants in his room.

More than anything else, ​Molly​ had spent the majority of the day stressing about what to wear. After receiving the message from Forest and then receiving his gifts, Molly had left work early to head straight home and try to pick out her outfit before deciding nothing was right and going out to buy an entirely new one. She felt like her usual floral dresses and sweaters weren't quite enough for this. Two hours later and Molly was back at her apartment, finishing getting ready while she waited for Forest to show up. She had bought a long sleeved red t-shirt dress that went down just below her thighs and a pair of new short high heeled boots that were ridiculously uncomfortable because she hadn't had time to break them in. She was trying to give be different this time around, so she bought a black choker and applied a little more eyeliner than usual. Instead of straightening her hair or tying it into a bun as usual she tried to curl it lightly and let the waves fall more naturally. When Forest showed up she thanked him for the gifts before realizing that there were even more in the car. What the heck was she supposed to do on his birthday? After the ride her eyes were being covered as she was lead into the apartment and into the dining room where her vision was restored and she could see just how beautiful the place was set up. "Holy- Oh my- This is incredible. Truly. Wow." She spun in a circle around the room, taking in the whole thing before settling back on Forest. "Wow. Thank you so much

Beaming slightly, his cheeks now the same color as his new little red bow tie (yes he bought one thing for himself in all of this planning because he always wanted a science nerd red bow tie) Forest tried to shake off the praise. “It’s no problem,” he said walking over to  the table and proceeding to pull out her chair for her “I mean it’s not everyday you’ve got to celebrate a holiday and a birthday at once.” Because it wasn’t. Molly was the first person he knew who had one on a major holiday, and well he guessed he just wanted to make sure their first valentine's was special, as well as her birthday, and their first date. Even if it all happened to be rolled into one. Smoothing his navy blazer down over his button down though Forest waited for Molly to sit, mouth watering over all the food in front of him. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t sample some of it, but he’d also skipped lunch to make it so all of that started canceling each other out. “And like I said in my invitation everything is Kosher” He winked at her.

Molly was laughing as she sat down in the chair and waited for Forest to do the same before she started filling up her plate with food. She had never doubted that Forest would remember that she could only eat Kosher food. "Well don't worry you're doing great." Molly smiled widely at him, "Besides I've never really counted Valentines day as a real holiday anyways." Granted, she had never had a boyfriend before either which could have had something to do with that. Once her plate was completely filled she started digging in and had to pause to just savor the moment. She knew Forest was a good cook, so it really shouldn't have surprised her buy just how good it all was. "This is freaking delicious."

Smiling silently to himself at Molly’s praise Forest piled his plate high with food after his girlfriend, happy that there was still a little steam coming off the lasagne. He had nothing to judge this off of so he was reviled that he wasn’t letting her down.  “I mean i can see the commercialization of it, but I don’t know. I’ve always loved love so any excuse to celebrate that to me is worth it.” Forest  replied before taking a bite of food. Molly was right it was pretty good, especially since he made it differently than he usually did. “Thanks.” Forest blushed. With all the praise, and well just his unbelievably breathtaking girlfriend sitting next to him, he was probably just going to have to get used to wearing a permanent blush on this date “I mean it wasn’t that hard of a recipe.” He continued shaking it off a little “I can give it to you if you want.”

Between bites of food, ​Molly​ feared talking with her mouth full so she tried to keep conversation to the bare minimum. The last thing she needed was to embarrass herself on this date. Not that Forest would even care, because she knew that he wouldn't. He would probably just laugh it off with her and go on with his night as if nothing had happened. It wasn't like Molly's face could get any more red than Forest's already was tonight. "I get the point of it. Both points. The capitalism and the love part. I think it's important for first time couples to celebrate it. I just think if you're like three years into a marriage and still worried about getting your wife flowers or else she will get mad at you then something is wrong." Molly found herself going on the rant before she could realize that now, on a date during Valentine's day probably wasn't the time to speak of her disdain for the holiday. She was so used to being that moody lonely kid hating Valentines day not only because she was single, but also because it took the attention away from her birthday. "And now is not the time for that at all." Molly laughed and stuffed her face with more food before she made a bigger full of herself. At the thought of the recipe, Molly just gave a thumbs up until she was done chewing. "Or I can make you cook it again and help you so I learn how to make it. Like a couple thing. Where I get food."

Nodding Forest took a sip of his water, trying to make everything in the woefully normal glass last as long as it would in his big cup. Because he wasn’t a Leshy tonight ok. He was just a normal guy on a normal date with his beautiful and normal Jewish girlfriend. “Yea. I mean like I said” He continued placing his fork down for a moment “I think if you’re celebrating love in your own way, that’s the true meaning of the holiday. If you’re just buying overpriced flowers and candy because you think its expected, then that’s when it’s a problem” Wiping at his mouth with his napkin however Forest was a bit relieved when she changed the subject to something more cheerful. Like mooching food off of your ever dutiful boyfriend.  “I’m sensing the beginning of a trend here” Forest smirked as he lifted another forkful to his mouth. It was more of a tease than anything serious and he hoped it showed. Because he literally would cook Molly anything she wanted if it meant he simply got to spend time with her. “But I’ll let it slide seeing as how I like to cook, and you like to eat. It’s a win win all around” He winked at her again.

Molly nodded her head in agreement with what Forest was saying, mostly because she had no interest in going back to the subject of Valentine's day on Valentine's day. It was oddly depressing. Of course the Holiday was based on a guy getting beheaded for marrying people, so apparently the rest of the world used to think about love the same way Molly would like to think she used to. She knew that she had always been a hopeless romantic, but had no interest in admitting that. "It's totally your fault for admitting that you like to cook and then agreeing to date a girl you know is ridiculously hopeless at it. So I don't feel bad for you at all." She decidedly cut it off by taking a dramatic bite into her food and giving a wide smile at him.

Scoffing slightly at her words Forest chewed the bite of lasagna he had just taken shaking his head in the process. She’d gotten this far in life so Forest had to figure she was probably able to cook more than she was letting on. But he liked this banter between them now, and the more they hung out together the easier it seemed to fall off of his lips. “You going to fix all my computer problems then?” Forest questioned mirroring her smile. “Because if i’m going to cook for you it’s only fair you save me from the technology I don’t understand” He waved his fork at her teasingly, glad that they could not tease each other like this. I mean it wasn’t that they hadn’t been able to tease each other before but now. Now it seemed more appropriate. More loving. Now it seemed as if, well they didn’t have to hold back bits and pieces or something. They could just be Molly and Forest. Molly and Forest in love.

Molly groaned sarcastically, the smile never leaving her face. "That is totally unfair." She crossed her arms to pout like a seven year old child and feigned anger. "All you have to do is make good food and you're asking me to work miracles? I think I'm really getting the short end of the stick here." It was mostly a joke. After all, Forest wasn't a complete lost cause when it came to technology. Mostly. He at least knew how to turn a laptop on and find the internet browser and he had caught onto Mario Kart quick enough.

“Is it though?” Forest replied with a twinkle in his eye. Yea teaching him about technology might be a little bit more of a feat than him simply cooking for Molly, but hey, who doesn’t like a good challenge. Plus he was starting to get that whole Mario Kart thing. “And it’s only the short end of the stick if I start beating you at your own game.” He smirked at her before shoving another large bite in his mouth. Chewing and swallowing though Forest placed his fork down for a few seconds patting at his mouth with his napkin “So how was your day?” He asked genuinely interested in how her birthday had gone for her.

Molly couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Forest actually rising above the challenge and beating her at anything that involved technology. "Yeah, Sure Jan." Molly joked at him. Forest probably didn't even know the sure Jan meme, and yet he was trying to say he would beat Molly at her own game some day. Ha. Cute sentiment from the tree boy. "I'll believe that when I see it." Molly was pleasantly surprised that she could be happy about her birthday. Her birthday on Valentine's day had always been somewhat of a sore spot, but she never actually cared much because she spent it with her family. This year, she was expecting things to be much worse than they actually were. "It was fantastic. I spent it working and then with Bridget and now with you. Can't complain too much. How about you?"

Looking a her Forest raised a single confused eyebrow. He was used to references going over his head but this one seemed like something he should know. Especially if Molly knew it! But going about with another mouthful Forest shrugged it off, figuring Molly would either explain or just let it go too. “And you will see it” He replied “i’ve been practicing!” Because he had been, at least with Mario Kart, and his laptop, and phone. So there were at least a couple things he would be able to do better! Hopefully. Maybe one day. Chuckling softly at his own technological ineptitude though Forest shook it off figuring this was one battle would probably never win and instead when about detailing what he did during his day today. “School, a smidge of work, and then cooking so pretty good myself” He smiled softly at Molly before breaking the eye contact to go back to eating. Swallowing his current forkful of Lasagna though he asked the question that be burning in his mind since he woke up today “Any good presents today besides mine?” He was grinning at her now.

"Bridget made me some super cute cupcakes" Molly smiled. She had had a few at work but the rest were all sitting on her counter at the apartment, "I'll let you try one when you come over next." If she didn't eat them all first. She rarely kept any food in her fridge that could be considered real food, so those cupcakes might have to play breakfast every now and again. As she was finishing up her food she asked Forest curiously, "So what's next after dinner?"

“Aww that’s nice” Forest replied smiling. He was happy that some of Molly’s friends did something for her too. Just so she had more than one person in her corner on her special day. “But yea. I’ll have to try one, if they aren’t gone by the time i get ther” He winked at Molly. He���d seen the inside of her fridge a few times, so he knew that she was not always the best eater in town. He’d have to set a reminder to cook for her more so she got something nutritious and filling every once and awhile. Waving his fork around slightly as she asked what was next forest tried to keep himself casual. “Well I guess that’s up to you. Like I said I’ve got lots of things we could do, like lounge in a wonderful pillow fort for instance” He grinned over at her. “But first we’ll have to get the cake and sing Happy birthday! Can’t forget that.”

"I can probably save one for you at least" ​Molly​ smiled, happy that the two were basically thinking the same thing. Even if the thoughts they had were usually at Molly's expense. Should she be happy or embarrassed that the two of them were both thinking the same thing about Molly's awful diet? "A pillow fort? Yes yes yes please. I love pillow forts!" She was getting a bit too excited about the pillow fort probably, but luckily the idea of Forest singing to her was enough to calm her down a bit at least. "Oh no. No singing happy birthday. I hate it enough in crowded restaurants I don't need you singing it to me. Plus, I'm the singer of the two of us. The only song that is acceptable for you to sing is Color of the Wind." She laughed at her own joke. Color of the Wind. Good one.

“I’ll take that.” Forest replied with a nod “Though if it’s between you not eating breakfast or something and me getting a cupcake, take the cupcake” Because he literally would not be upset at all. He just wanted Molly to eat. Sensing how excited she was about the pillow fort though Forest blushed a bit, he didn’t know shes be that into it, but it was nice. “Well if you’re this excited about a pillow fort, wait till you see what’s inside” Because oh yea she was probably going to flip when she say the laraoke machine. “Sorry, but its already decided” He put his hands on the table when she mentioned that she didn’t want him singing happy birthday, “you are getting an off key rendition of Happy Birthday. And then possibly Listen to Your Heart, because Grandmother Willow just understands me ok.” Forest replied with a grin, happy that he actually got the reference. I mean he hoped she was referencing Pocahontas, which one of the few disney movies he was actually able to watch during his childhood.

Molly scratched at her head, already embarrassed for Forest's singing before he even had the chance to do it. Was it possible to die of embarrassment for someone else? She supposed she was about to find out. "Listen to your Heart is totally acceptable. It's a great song." She skipped over the part about not eating breakfast, the less she talked to people about that the better. She disliked the idea of people feeling bad for her. Considering it was so easy to feel bad for her right now, she usually just chose to neglect sharing information that she felt was especially embarrassing to preserve everyone's sanity. She could argue with somebody all day against their pity, which wasn't productive to any party involved. "Okay. Well let's get it over with. Bring it on."

“Good because that is what I will be singing” Forest nodded, hoping the karaoke machine had a full range of disney medleys on there, as there was no way he was singing acapella. Plus he was sure Molly would want to use it straight away. So he and grandmother Willow could help break it in. Wiping his mouth through for the last time though Forest sighed “Well if the lady doth commands”, he said getting up from his spot with a grin “Anyways I will be right back with your cake so you better not dine and dash on me” He stuck out his tongue at her before disappearing into the kitchen for a couple of minutes a small home made cake with Molly’s favorite frosting and ablaze with candles in his hands upon his return.

Molly felt like she could finally take a breath when Forest left the dining room to grab the cake. She couldn't quite pin down why it was that she felt so nervous about all of this. Maybe it was just because it was her first real romantic date. Although she never figured that she would be as comfortable around her boyfriend as she was around Forest. Maybe because the two were best friends first. Everything to her was very confusing about her dating life. She also never thought that she would be the less awkward of the two, but here Forest was adorably fumbling through the date so nervous and cute. Speaking of him, he came back from the kitchen a few moments later holding the cake with the candles lit on top of it and Molly clapped her hands and smiled while she prepared herself to hear Forest attempt to sing happy birthday to her.

Standing there watching Molly smile Forest couldn’t help but grin himself the sheer joy of doing something for his girlfriend, his best friend, giving him well, Joy.  Placing the cake on the table Forest pulled out a party hat from his back pocket slipping it easily over his own head (because he wasn’t about to ruin his girlfriend's hair,no sir) just waiting for Molly’s reaction. “Happy brithday to yooouuuu” he started to sing in his worst off key rendition he could “hApppyy Birthday to youuuu. Happpyyy birthday dear themostbeautfiulgirlintheworld Mollyyyyyyyy. Happy Birthday too yoooouuuuuuuu” Ending on high note Forest did a few jazz hands as we waited for her to blow out her candle and make a wish.

Molly sat smiling through the pain of Forest singing, knowing that he was purposely singing even worse than usual just to spite Molly and make her suffer. Despite that it made her smile even more because of it. So she smiled and laughed through the entirety of that awful, awful singing and afterwards she sat for a long moment and closed her eyes to make herself think of a wish. Or if nothing came to her like usual she could at least make it look like she was wishing for something. But this time a wish came quickly. And all she wanted was for some sign that everything was going to be okay. She blew the candles out and peaked one eye open. Looking up at Forest was the first sign that things would be. After he set the cake down is when Molly pushed off of the chair and forward to kiss him.

Watching Molly sitting there laughing and smiling Forest just beamed proud of himself. It was safe to say he’d never done anything like this for anyone ever and it was wonderful to know he was doing something right for someone that had become so special to him. Something real right, because the second he set down the cake Molly lips were on him. And naturally Forest froze every sense in his body over stimulated with the weight of two soft petals pressed against his mouth. Because this was, this was a lot to take in. Their first intimate gesture and he was stuck there like a deer in the headlights, cheeks slowly becoming more and more scarlet by the minute and his brain feeling like it was on fire every second Molly was this close to him. But the funny thing was now that Forest had this, he never wanted to stop. Ever. He didn’t need to breath right? Like carbon dioxide was for chumps right? Putting his hand along her waist Forest held himself there not really knowing what to do but figuring he’d follow Molly’s lead, lettering her pull away first. Standing there looking at her though Forest realized that he didn’t know how to continue now.  He didn;t know how to be normal now that he’d shared something like this with Molly. But he knew he had to do something. “So t-this was to get me to s-s-hut up wasn’t it” Forest stuttered out not knowing what else to say but figuring trying to joke about you know HIS FIRST KISS would just make everything way way less awkward.

Molly pulled away from Forest possibly more shocked than the state he seemed to be in, which was really saying something. "Wow. Okay. So I just did that." She spoke aloud, to her own personal horror. The thought had been screaming through her head amid the entire kiss, but up until this moment her lips were a little busy. Now apparently anything was fair game and she was entirely too nervous about that. "How'd you know?" Molly laughed nervously, thankful for the joke and anxious that the kiss was going to become the center of attention. She didn't know enough about relationships to know if that was the right or wrong thing to do. "So about that pillow fort!" She blurted out suddenly and did a 180, ready to head towards Forest's bedroom, "I gotta see the masterpiece."

“Yea” Forest breathed out as he started to come to not even really registering that it was something that had happened to him. Because no one kissed him, ever. Well except his mother. Once. On the forehead. But this, yea well this was so much better than that. As it should be. Taking a few more deep breaths Forest blushed a little grinning at his horrible attempt at a joke. “Well I-I guess that’s one way to do it. Possibly my new p-preferred method” He shrugged slightly at the thought. Watching her though almost blot out of the room Forest pushed his feelings down, knowing that something else needed his attention now.  “Molly” Forest chided, reaching out for her hand. He could tell she was nervous. But she needn’t be, she would never be able to do anything wrong in Forest’s eyes. OK well that was a lie, but there was a laundry list of things that she could do that he’d be ok with and kissing him was definitely on the top of that list.  “You don’t have to run out of the room you know,” He was smiling now hoping that a return to normal would help signal that everything was still ok between them, “Because contrary to popular beleif the pillows will in fact wait for you.”

"Will they wait for me? I don't have any proof" ​Molly​ laughed nervously and wasn't sure if she would ever be able to laugh normally again. Not at the rate she was going. She wasn't the type to do something like that. She always figured that whoever she dated would have to lead her when it came to relationships. Then again she also never thought that she would be the type to do any of the other crazy stuff she had done since moving to Ashkent Creek. "Sorry. I'm just... nervous. Nervous is normal right? I think that it's pretty normal. Plus I'm just super excited about this pillow fort." Another nervous laugh, this time paired with her hands reflexively twirling at her hair. At least she wasn't lying when she said that she was excited for the pillow fort.

“Oh so you need proof now?” Forest chuckled trying not to let Molly’s nervousness affect him. I mean was his mind racing from his first kiss? Yes. But like a lot of other things, Forest shoved that to the back for now, and instead focused on trying to make this better for Molly. It was her birthday after all.  “Nervous is normal.” Forest nodded as if he actually knew about the subject (which he didn’t) “But I think not being nervous would be the best” Reaching out for her again Forest held his out, urge to interlace their fingers together to quell the nervous energy hitting him harder than it ever had before. Because Molly was his best friend, and even though they were moving into new territory, with dates, and kissing and just, relationship stuff, underneath it all they were still just Forest and Molly. “Shall we?” he asked quietly.

Molly grabbed onto Forest's hand, careful not to squeeze too tightly despite how nervous she was about the situation. "Lead the way kind sir" As if she had no idea which bedroom was his. She followed Forest through the hallway and closed her eyes as the door swung open, wanting to see the entire fort all at once instead of seeing it swing into view obscured by his bedroom door. She gasped and jumped into the air excitedly when she saw it. "This is amazing! I feel like I'm twelve years old again!" She clapped her hands together and turned to Forest and wrapped him in a tight hug, "You crushed it. Seriously." She whispered to him before stepping into his room. "Aren't you going to give me the tour?" Despite all the reservations and emotions she had felt this morning knowing it was her first birthday without her family, times like these reminded her that she would be okay here in Ashkent Creek.

[whore---ible]

hella bored once again. jk i just really like quizzes.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? 50/50 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i hate the cold and i hate wind 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissue hahaha 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i like mocchacino or a latte 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? yes? 6: do you keep plants? no i’m not good for their health but i would like to 7: do you name your plants? no i just told you i’m a murderer -_- 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? i write 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yea 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? whatever i feel like doing 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? im so white im translucent 12: what’s your favorite planet? the little prince’s planet 13: what’s something that made you smile today? my mom was being funny earlier. i rarely see her like that. 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? white, minimalistic but super artistic at the same time. 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! no 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? alfredo/mushroom 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i like my white hair rn but i miss my pink hair 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. i did twerk on a car that was at a red light in the street juste beside a bar. everybody was looking at me….. i was so drunk i puked just after that lil dance. 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i rarely write in it but i write who i had sex with and who i love and things like that so i’ll be able to stalk them when i’m older 20: what’s your favorite eye color? green 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. my little black leather backpack. 22: are you a morning person? not at all 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? netflix and chill 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? nop 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? an “haunted” hospital 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? my high top white vans 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint 28: sunrise or sunset? sunset, but watching the sunrise is always funnier bc i guess im drunk with my friends somewhere cool 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? i dont know man. i think they are all super cute when they laugh. 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes, in bali, its too long to explain but i thought i would die or get kidnapped or whatever 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i dont really care. i mostly wear black socks. i would like to have some cooler socks but i cant find them anywhere. i dont know where to buy fuxking socks man. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. im always with friends after 3AM come on 33: what’s your fave pastry? croissant 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? dont remember 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? i’m into massive attack these days 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like it clean but im a mess 38: tell us about your pet peeves! my pets are boring af 39: what color do you wear the most? black and grey 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? im slways always always wearing 4 rings. two that i bought when i was leaving for bali, one i bought in cuba i think and one i received as a gift after i had a threesome bc the girl didnt want me to forget her 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? charlotte before christ 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! cafellini, my friend owns it 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? i cant remember  44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? dont know. its rare. 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yasssss 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. huh 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? why the fuck would i ban any food i love food 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being kidnapped. and yes it is. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? not really. the last one was from de band “scyzzors” 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? all my bracelet from differents event i go 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? les sentiments humains - pierre lapointe 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? …. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? those are some cool classic movies 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? cath 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? i kissed someone to make sure i could still be attract by men 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? big smile, kindness, honesty 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? won’T do that 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? i think we’re all wine moms lol

59: what’s your favorite myth? that people get wild when its full moon

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yea i like contemporary poets 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? i gave nothing for my mom'd last birthday bc i was in bali... that was stupid. i received an unmbrella last christmas. i never use fucking umbrellas. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nop. just water and coffee. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? im fussy about my book, not my music. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? sure 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? super simple. a crown in delicate wood with some pink and white orchids. 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i'm a little bit scared but i find it beautiful. 68: what’s winter like where you live? fucking cold. too much snow. 69: what are your favorite board games? i would say destiny wheel. but i prefer cards. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? yes 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? green tea 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yesss 73: what are some of your worst habits? im a mess 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. ughhh 75: tell us about your pets! theyre fucking cute but soooo boring. im allergic to them tho so maybe thats why i found them so boring lol. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hmmmm nop 77: pink or yellow lemonade? yellow 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? h8club 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? i dont know man people do cute things all the time you just have to open ur eyes 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? yea three walls are white and one is black. it makes the room look bigger. 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. uasjdbskfd 82: are/were you good in school? yea  83: what’s some of your favorite album art?  84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? nan i think i have enough for now 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nop 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? hmmmm café de flore 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i dont know 89: are you close to your parents? i dont talk to my father and i have a difficult relationship w my mom 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i loooooove montreal, especially in the summer 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? maybe ill return to bali 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i’m drowning in cheese 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? almost my natural hair, they have waves 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me 95: what are your plans for this weekend? i’ll get drunk for sure bc it’s my weekends birthday 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? i procrastinate, there are tooooo many 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? zodiac 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? this autumn, and yea it was cool 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. i have a lot of those 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years in the past so i would do things differently