#i like his relationship with sasha their friendship is cute | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

emepe · 7 months ago

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— Pairing: Eren x Reader, friends to lovers

— General info: series, 18+, modern AU, serial killer AU, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

— Summary: Fate is a tricky thing. Certain situations can’t be avoided as much as certain people’s lives can’t be kept from intertwining. With a serial killer on the loose, and unexpected relationships blooming, how will the universe intervene?

— Chapter summary: The perfect first date: food, honest conversations, and tragic news.

— Content warnings: murder, mention of child neglect, implied SA.

— Notes: Hello, everybody! Welcome to chapter 5 <3 Thank you so much to everybody who has shown support for this story, especially those who have joined the tag list. If anyone else would like to be added, lmk in the comments here or for the chapter guide, or through DMs. Happy reading!

Links: Read on AO3 | Chapter guide | Masterlist

I want to know you

“Oh my gosh.”

Your muffled praise comes out in between chews.

Eren watches you amusedly as you swallow and wash the first bite of your taco down with agua de horchata.

“You like it?” he grins, an endeared laugh sputtering from his lips as he watches your brows scrunch in concentration toward your meal.

Your eyes shimmer with joy when you look up at him and nod.

For your first date, Eren decided to take you out to the food trucks stationed across town. You finally got the chance to try out the tacos Sasha and Connie raved about the night you met everybody. It was the perfect way to secure a fun time while also curing you of any leftover hangover symptoms. With the fresh air brushing through your hair and cooling your skin, and Eren as your companion, you couldn't have asked for anything better.

Eren could barely get a wink of sleep after he got back to his apartment, his excitement too much for his body to bear as he replayed everything in his head. The moment you kissed him first, when you made tea together, when he kissed you, and when you told him you liked him back. Even now, as he watches you test how much salsa you can handle in one bite, the memories keep swirling in his mind in a swoon-worthy loop.

The reality of it all still hasn't fully sunk in. He doesn't even know when you could've possibly changed your mind. It all fed into the theory that he probably didn't need to stress about it as much as he did — all he had to do was be himself. But what kind of man would he be if he just assumed you'd give into his charms no matter what?

This moment, he thinks, is nothing but bliss.

“You're staring again,” you murmur, glancing at him through your lashes.

It's never bothered you if you're honest. Eren’s intense gaze has always been warm, always shy, and full of admiration. Even before last night, you never chose to call him out for it. It was innocent. Now that you've confessed to mutual feelings, every glance, every accidental or purposeful touch begs to be acknowledged.

You marvel at his cute side, which makes him blush profusely and produces that boyish laugh of his each time, in place of muttered apologies or swallowed words.

There's still an air of tension on scarce occasions when he debates which limits have been implicitly lifted after last night's intimate moment in your apartment. It's all so new, and your friendship was fairly brief. Asking if he can hold your hand, hold you by the waist, or tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear is still a bit awkward for him.

“I can't help myself. You're just too pretty.”

It's your turn to avert your gaze shyly, your cheeks burning intensely. Of course, the compliment was more than welcome. You purposely stayed awake after he left your place to lay out the perfect attire for the occasion. A chunky beige sweater, a denim skirt, and knee-length boots were the way to go, you decided. As a special touch, a chunky silk headband adorned your head — a nod of sorts to your halo from the Halloween party.

“Your tacos are gonna get cold if you keep getting distracted,” you murmur, though a hint of a smile slips through the cracks of your stern demeanor.

“Fine. Let me stuff my mouth and shut up,” he sighs, faking a sniffle.

You laugh.

On the other side of the park, five people watch your first date unfold before their eyes from the safety of an SUV.

“Are you sure it's them?” Sasha asks from the backseat. Jean and Mikasa have their matching sunglasses low on the bridges of their nose as they squint at the picnic table you and Eren are sharing.

“For sure, for sure.” Jean nods.

“No wonder neither of them replied to the groupchat,” Mikasa adds.

“We could go eat somewhere else?” Connie suggests.

Sasha instantly grumbles a fervent denial.

“I've been craving tacos since before we even got to the bar last night.”

“We could just wait them out. They're not gonna stay here forever. Eren's taking her for a drive after.”

Jean shoots an annoyed glance at Armin through the rearview mirror.

“You knew they were coming here?”

Armin raises both hands in surrender.

“He only mentioned it in passing when I called him last night! I didn't think we'd bump into them.”

“Maybe, we should go,” Mikasa suggests. “This feels too much like spying.”

The group watches as Eren brushes your hair out of your face when the wind picks up for a brief moment, leaving you to look up at him with a shy smile shaping your lips.

A collective aww echoes inside the car.

“So,” Eren says, smacking his lips together after a sip of water. “I have to ask you something.”

“Hm?”

“What changed your mind?”

“I already told you. You grew on me.”

From the way you avert your gaze and bring the plastic cup of water to your lips for a long sip, he can tell it's an attempt to dismiss the topic.

He zeroes in on your face and stays that way even after your eyes meet his and read through his silent plea.

“I like how kind you are,” you finally say, voice as soft as ever, caressing his ears and pulling at his heart with every syllable.

Eren doesn't consider himself to be known for his kindness. In fact, before this very moment, it hasn't been a topic to linger in his mind. He doesn't lie awake at night thinking about how he may be perceived and what he can do to switch the narrative in his favor. But perhaps you've hit the nail on what makes Eren Jaeger so appealing beyond his looks because a genuinely kind person doesn't have to think much about being so.

“You're… caring and strong but gentle at the same time. And you're genuinely nice to everyone, it's admirable.”

Eren's skin burns with a fever as he holds your gaze.

“I'm actually a bit jealous,” you murmur, tearing your gaze from him to focus on your now empty plate.

“What? Why?”

You shake your head, refusing to answer him.

“Nothing. Forget I said that.”

You don't have the nerve to explain your reasoning as you feel yourself shrink to half your size. It's not something one can just say — to tell someone that you wish you'd met them sooner because maybe then you wouldn't have had to spend your formative years feeling so lonely, that you would've done anything to have been handled with such care when everything was going downhill. To get drunk off of it and maybe now you wouldn't be so closed off to any attention and yet simultaneously still so desperate to be taken care of, to allow yourself to be cradled in someone's arms. It's embarrassing to display such childlike ideas — you're responsible for yourself; you and only you.

Eren's lips press into a thin line as he observes you through pensive eyes. His features soften soon enough, as he decides to retreat from crossing any boundaries.

“Do you mind if I ask one more thing?”

He raises his hands in defense when you start fidgeting in your seat.

“It's not about what you just said, I promise.”

Warily, you nod.

“When we met at Armin's party… I really wanted to get your attention.”

The familiar wave of heat starts washing over his cheeks.

“I thought you were pretty — even before when I bumped into you at the bakery. Then when I saw you talking to everyone and smiling, I just… I couldn't stop looking at you. And so I tried to get you to notice me too, you know? But when you said you didn't see me that way I figured I should stop trying. I thought maybe I would get over my crush and I'd be fine with being just friends. So when you kissed me last night at the bar… I kept racking my brain for what I could've done to make you think of me differently.”

Running a hand through his hair, he sighs, the heavy exhale ending in soft shy laughter.

“I'm just curious, that's all. I swear I wasn't trying to get you to look at me anymore.”

A moment passes by in silence after his admission. He waits patiently, his gaze bouncing from your face to his hands, to nowhere at all, and back to you.

“It's a little embarrassing,” you begin.

“I want to know.”

“You remember when we both went to Armin's apartment? When he got sick?”

He hums, encouraging you to continue.

“You were moving around his kitchen, making him soup and tea. And then you sent him to his room to make him rest.”

You bring a hand up to cover your face, much too shy to give him a full view of your meek expression as you continue speaking.

“You were so stern but gentle. I might’ve felt something that day.”

Pride swells in Eren's chest as the butterflies stir frantically in his stomach and his cheeks flare with heat.

“Then the day we went apple-picking. When you took care of me after I got hurt?”

He nods when you glance up at him briefly to make sure he's still paying attention.

“That's the day I realized I liked you.”

His attempt at biting back a grin fails miserably and he finally gives in to the thrill produced by the new information.

You notice this. It's endearing to watch him light up at the compliments you direct at him. It's as if your words hold an incredible power over him — the power to make him a blushing, grinning mess.

“And you're insanely hot, I can't keep lying to myself,” you bluntly state with a shrug.

The sudden laughter bubbling up his throat causes him to fall into a fit of amused coughing. Your laughter laces with his, the sound dancing around you both like music.

“What about you?” you ask once he regains his breath.

Eren's head tilts in confusion.

“I've never changed my mind since meeting you,” he firmly states.

The seriousness in his tone squeezes at your chest. You clear your throat, bashful.

“I mean, the exact moment you started feeling something.”

“The night we met. When we were out on Armin's balcony,” Eren replies without missing a beat.

Your eyebrows twitch in shock.

“That soon? That was the first day we met.”

Flashes of that night come flooding into Eren's memory. The image of you looking up at him with glassy eyes as you wondered aloud if there would be anyone to mourn you — so small, so fragile. He wanted to cradle you in his arms and nurse you to sleep. Just looking at you built an incredible pressure in his chest. From that moment on, he had no doubts about his simple crush evolving into something more meaningful.

“I really couldn't stop looking at you.”

“They look good together.”

A series of hums and murmured agreements follow Mikasa's statement.

“We can't let them know we spied on their first date,” Connie says, his eyes looking down sternly at everyone until they nod in agreement.

“Blame Armin. He knew the entire time,” Jean jokingly mutters, glancing briefly at the blond through the rearview mirror.

“Again, I didn't think we'd bump into them. Jeez, give me a break,” Armin huffs.

Mikasa suddenly gasps as she watches you and Eren get up from the picnic table and head out of the park to where Eren's car is parked.

“They're leaving, get down!”

The drive to somewhere unknown to you is reminiscent of the drive to Sunrise Orchards. The only difference is that this time, nobody occupies the backseat and it's just you, Eren, and the soft music that swirls around you.

After Eren refused to give you any hint of your destination, you calmly accepted anything to come your way. As you and Eren engage in an inevitable game of twenty-one questions — nobody's keeping count — you keep your focus on the passing trees and speeding cars, fingers mindlessly tapping along to the beat of the songs that play on the radio that you happen to know.

“What's something you're really nerdy about?” you ask.

He hums in thought for a moment, then laughs.

“I collect Sailor Moon figurines.”

Your eyes widen.

“Really?”

Grinning, he nods.

“Not in a weird way,” he clarifies. “I just loved watching the show when I was growing up, and it kind of stayed with me.” He shrugs. “I like cute things.”

You giggle.

“I'm surprised, I would've thought you were into Dragon Ball Z.”

“Oh, I'm definitely a fan, too. But kid Eren wanted to marry Sailor Mars when he grew up.”

You laugh.

“Okay, your turn.”

“What do you think of aliens? Real or fake?” Eren asks.

While your questions mostly refer to basic things such as places he’s traveled to, sports he's played, how many years since he moved to the city, and how many relationships he's been in — he did a year abroad in Spain during college, played lacrosse in high school, it's been three years, and he's only ever had one girlfriend — his land on a random spectrum, from asking about your favorite snacks to your thoughts on the moon landing and if you would've turned around had you been Orpheus.

“Real,” you say without an ounce of hesitation.

“Really?”

He turns to look at you with surprise.

“It's ridiculous to think there's nothing but space matter out there,” you explain matter-of-factly. “The universe is huge. We haven't even explored more than five percent of our own ocean. There's got to be tons of stuff we don't know about up there.” Your hands move around in broad gestures as your voice picks up with every word.

“Okay, relax,” he laughs. “I agree, aliens are real.” He shoots you an accomplice smile. “Maybe.”

You playfully punch his arm.

“Easy there, Rocky. I'm driving here.”

A laugh sputters from your lips.

“Your turn,” he murmurs amusedly.

You hum as you look out the window pensively until a question pops into your head.

“Are you religious?”

He shrugs.

“I'm not sure what to call it. My mom's catholic so I grew up going to church and all those things. I don't know if I actually believe in God, though. I'd feel like a hypocrite if I said yes knowing I haven't prayed since I was a kid.”

“What about your dad? Was he religious?” you ask, disregarding the fact your turn in the game is over.

“I think he just converted to make my mom happy. He was more of a science man.”

You nod contemplatively.

“Your turn,” you murmur.

“Hm… same question.”

You inhale deeply, holding the air in your lungs as you briefly think your answer over.

“I'm not,” you conclude.

He eyes you furtively.

“Why's that?”

A familiar pain wraps around your throat, as you debate whether to choke the words out or swallow them. Eren turns to you, concerned, as he pulls into a line of cars looking to be let into what seems to be a private park. You make your choice.

“I used to pray a lot when I was younger. I don't think I asked for much but everything always went unanswered.”

The amount of times Eren's been waiting for you to steer near the topic of your past is too many to count. Ever since your drunken comment at Armin's apartment, he's been wanting to know. Pure curiosity played a huge part, of course, but mostly he’s been wanting to understand you. Maybe get to know why you’re so quiet, and why you shrink into yourself when coming face to face with new people.

So now, when it feels like your words are teetering on the edge of the topic, he can't help but feel consumed by the fear that you'll close the door on him before he gets a chance to offer you an ear.

The car behind him honks impatiently, breaking Eren out of his daze and forcing him to pull up to the now empty spot beside the entrance booth.

He pays the entry fees and pulls up the car into a gravel parking lot.

“Give me a second,” he smiles before climbing out of his seat and rounding the car to open your door. He keeps a hand on the roof of the car to keep you from bumping your head as you step out and look around curiously.

There's barely a crowd, just a couple of families making their way onto some wooden paths lined with tall grass on both sides. The wind is a bit stronger than it was before, but nothing you can't manage.

“Where are we?”

You look at Eren quizzically.

Typical of when he's nervous, he runs a hand through his hair.

“Come on,” he says, stuffing his hands in his pockets and leading you down the same path you saw the other families disappear into.

The further you walk, the wooden planks that make up the path you walk on are further buried in sand. The air grows saltier and the wind grows cooler as the grass at your sides thins out and you're exposed to a private beach.

You look up at Eren. He shrugs.

“You said you wanted to go to the beach.”

Your lips perk into a delighted smile as you take in the view. Even with the sky in all its gloomy autumn glory, your face lights up at the scene. The water calmly washes back and forth, kissing the shoreline each time as its foaming whispers tickle your ears. The tall grass behind you sways with every blow of the wind.

“I know it kind of sucks right now because of the weather but I wanted to get first dibs with you before we come back in the summer with everyone else.”

You cover a giggle with your hand as you both walk deeper into the sand. Your boots were a fortunate fashion choice. Otherwise, you'd have sand sneaking into your shoes had you worn sneakers like Eren. He doesn't seem to mind, though, as he happily walks beside you, eyeing you carefully in case you take a bad step.

The two of you sit side by side on the sand, far enough from either of the families that came before you so that any ensuing conversations are kept just between you and him.

You close your eyes and allow the salty air to fill your lungs as the wind blows at your hair.

Eren keeps his eyes on you the entire time, admiring every dip and curve of your side profile until you gently call his name and meet his mesmerized gaze.

“Hm?” he hums, brushing any stray hairs from your face.

“I have a confession to make,” you sheepishly murmur.

An eyebrow quirks up on Eren's face in response.

“I've been to the beach before. Just once.”

He nods along, unsure of where you're headed.

“It's not a good memory.” Your voice shrinks. “But this is nice.”

The grateful smile on your face fades just long enough for you to lean over and kiss his cheek. That same smile grows when his face reddens.

“Do you mind if I sit a little closer?” you ask.

He shakes his head.

You inch closer to him, enough so that when you turn to look at him again, your faces are just inches apart.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“You're welcome,” he whispers back.

You remain quiet for a moment, purely enjoying the act of looking into each other’s eyes. It'd be great practice for Eren to stop feeling so shy now that you look at him in the way he always wished you would if he weren't blushing profusely the entire time. But it gets easier with every precious second.

His eyes dart to your lips, which causes you to finally be absorbed by the same shyness as him as you lower your gaze for a second before looking back at him.

Eren has never been so captivated by another girl like this. He so desperately wants to cup your face in his hands and kiss you, but the words you've scattered on the way here keep gnawing at his brain.

“Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Now that we're dating,” he pauses to clear his throat. The words are brand new on his tongue, he can nearly imagine a sweet taste to them even if the ones to follow are laced with an uneasy sensation. “Is it okay if I ask you about more personal things?”

Eren has been witness to you looking small only a handful of times — or rather, two. This makes three.

Upon your hesitation, he decides to retract the idea.

“I’m sorry. If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”

A reassuring smile pulls at the corners of his lips.

“I can talk about aliens for hours on end.” He sighs. “I just… my offer from last time still stands… and I meant it when I said I want to learn everything about you. But I don’t want you to feel pressured to tell me about it.”

You shake your head — finally, a response.

“It’s not that,” you mutter. “I just don’t want you to feel like I’m dumping everything on you. It wouldn’t be fair.”

His eyes soften.

“I’m asking, though.”

Uncertainty clouds your eyes, leaving Eren to wonder just how bad everything must be for you to feel so scared. Just your blunt revelation on that first night felt like a low blow. It’s more than likely the weight of it all has been crushing you from the inside your entire life.

You nip at the cracks on your lips, pulling at a sliver of skin until it peels and leaves a faint trace of blood.

It’s hard to let someone in. You know Eren means well — offering to hear you out and willing to ease the weight that’s been suffocating you for twenty years. But the way you see it, it’s incredibly selfish to ask him to share your burdens when you’re barely strong enough to hold onto them yourself.

If you’re a bit more honest with yourself, you’re also trying to guard him from destroying his perception of you. You know he’s liked you from the start. You wanted to keep a friendly distance — that was the plan. After all, there’s only so much one can grasp when looking at the big picture.

Now that you’ve come to understand how you feel about him — and now that you feel you have something to lose — it’ll devastate you to have him see how truly weak and battered you are. He’ll want to comfort you — tell you that you can always seek refuge with him. You’ll accept out of greed. Little by little, you’ll get used to relying on his protection and embrace and he’ll inevitably get tired of it. Not that Eren seems like the kind of person to abandon someone he claims to care about, but sometimes even the most patient hearts get worn down.

“If there’s anything you don’t want to talk about, you can just… punch me in the face or something. I can take a hint.” Eren shrugs.

Your laughter pours into the palm of your hand. Eren watches you proudly, relieved at his success in dissipating your tension.

“Okay,” you murmur.

With an appreciative smile on his lips, he nods.

“Alright.”

He leans back, pressing his palms into the sand as he looks up at the sky in thought.

“What was the town you grew up in like?”

In Eren’s eyes, you nearly seem relieved by the question, which is exactly why he started with something fairly easy. He won’t take things too far today, just enough to strengthen the foundation of what he wants to build. The rest, you can tell him with time.

The name of a city Eren’s never heard of comes out of your mouth.

“It’s not a very big town,” you explain. “But I guess still big enough to have a bad side.”

A humorless chuckle escapes your lips.

“Um… there’s not much to say, really. I was born there, grew up there, and went to school there. It wasn’t a violent area but it was pretty… forgotten, I guess. Most of the people living there were low-income. I lived in this really small apartment with my parents. It only had one bedroom so the living room was also my room. There were many kids there but they were either too old or too young for me to play with, and you already know I don’t have any siblings, so… you know, I grew up feeling pretty lonely.”

You sigh, offering Eren some silence as a sign that you’re done answering his first question.

“What were your parents like?”

“My mom… was really pretty,” you smile, though when you look back at him, Eren notices a hint of tears lining your lashes. “She had me when she was a senior in high school so my parents got together pretty young. After they separated, I still got to see my dad for a while until he just… forgot. I think he got a new family but I’m still not sure the man I saw a few years ago was him. If it was, then, he was doing pretty well. He was driving his kids to school.”

“Did you like school?” he asks.

“I loved it.”

Your face lights up as you recall your moments spent in a classroom, thrilled to learn and devouring every book you could from the school’s library.

“I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.”

A smile makes its way to Eren’s face as he pictures you surrounded by kids eager to learn.

“Yeah?”

You nod, a hint of nostalgia and childlike glee shimmering in your eyes.

“Why didn’t you?”

A heavy sigh slumps your shoulders.

“Well, for starters, I’d need a degree.”

Brows furrowed, you chew on the inside of your cheek as you contemplate what’s lost. “I only have a GED.”

Eren feels a puncturing sensation as his heart deflates.

“You could still go back to school,” he suggests. “You’re young, you have time.”

It’s nothing you haven’t thought of before, but his words are comforting nonetheless. But you shake your head.

“No. I think the itch has passed, anyway. Besides, I’m happy now just to get by even if I never pictured myself as an office manager.”

Eren nods in understanding.

“Wait, so you didn’t go to high school?”

“I dropped out halfway through freshman year,” you explain. “Things at home weren’t going so well, so I just… had to.”

“So, you started working?”

You nod.

“Yeah. I was fifteen so I picked up as many odd jobs as I could.”

Eren looks up at you in awe.

“And you still found the time to study for your GED. That’s amazing,” he gushes.

A shy gust of air blows through your nose.

“I had some help, so I didn’t struggle too much.”

Eren tilts his head in curiosity. Maybe there was a time when your mom got better enough to help you study.

“Your mom?” he asks.

Your shoulders stiffen and you start blinking nervously.

“Um… no.”

You look down at your lap, where you nervously pick at your cuticles in an attempt to ground yourself. Eren watches you closely.

“I um… one of my old high school teachers took me in for a while. He helped me prepare for the test.”

Eren purses his lips, confused as to why you seem so uneasy about it. Maybe you’re embarrassed by the fact that you had to search for help outside of your home, but that’s nothing to stress over. In fact, he’s relieved you had someone to lean on during such tough times.

“He sounds like a nice guy,” he murmurs.

“I guess,” you whisper so softly it barely reaches his ears.

“Have you kept in touch with him after moving here?”

A ghostly ‘no’ makes its way past your lips.

Eren sits up straight, an uneasy feeling nudging at the pit of his stomach. He lowers his head so he can get a view of your face. Your eyes seem dead, all glassiness vanishes as you stare at a blank point.

“Hey, you okay?”

His voice draws your attention. You look back at him, eyes wide and lips parted to take in hushed shallow breaths. Eren’s eyebrows upturn in concern. Little by little, the longer you look at him, your features soften, your shoulders relax, your eyes come back to life, and your breathing steadies.

“You wanna punch me in the face?” he offers.

“No,” you murmur back, eyes twinkling with amusement. “But can we stop for now?”

He smiles and nods.

“Give me your hand.”

“Why?” you ask, but give in to his direction anyway.

“Because,” he says as he presses your hand down against his chest, right above his heart. “I want to kiss you, and I don’t want you to freak out on me like last time.”

Though you know he’s teasing, embarrassment creeps up your neck at the memory, anyway. Still, you gently stroke his chest with your thumb, relieved to feel his heartbeat on your fingertips.

“It’s not like I’ll freak out each time,” you mumble, breath shortening as he dips his head forward to brush your nose with his.

“Just in case, then,” he whispers, his breath tickling your upper lip.

He tilts his head as he closes the gap between you. At a hair's distance, he whispers a teasing ‘deep breath’, swallowing your laughter immediately after.

His lips gently caress yours, slowly, with calculated strokes that make you sigh into his mouth. Any lingering trace of stiff muscles and chest pain is gradually ridden by his soft affections. The hand that keeps you holding onto his heart is warm and strong, giving you a light squeeze as his heart rate picks up with the pure ecstasy that comes with kissing you.

He pulls back, just enough to grant you room to breathe.

“You okay?” he whispers.

“Yeah.”

“You’re not feeling lightheaded or anything?”

You giggle against his lips.

“No.”

“Lucky.”

He captures your lips once more as his free hand comes up to cradle your face and hold you closer. Your skin is warm to the touch, evidence of your timidness as you allow his tongue into your mouth to tease your own. Shivers run down your spine upon a single strained moan that bubbles from Eren’s throat as your tongues push and swirl against each other.

Despite the heated tone of Eren’s affections, you somehow feel at peace, taken care of, and safe. Your heartbeat echoes in your ears as his pounds against your fingertips in the same frantic manner. With the wind now dancing more aggressively around you as you feel yourself melt into his passionate kiss, this moment feels nothing short of poetic. It’s a mirror to the mayhem of incoherent ideas in your head — dizzying and beautiful, all at once.

With the hand that’s comfortably nestled into his chest, you push him back lightly but remain close enough for your shallow breaths to lace in the air with his.

“Eren,” you exhale.

“Hm?”

He pulls back to observe you better. Your lips are glossy with his saliva, reddened and swollen from his sweet assault. Your eyes twinkle as they stare into his affectionately. It’s an image worthy of committing to memory.

“Is it okay if we take things slow?”

Your voice is low, unsure. It looks as if you’re wary of his response — not out of fear, but rather out of genuine concern.

“Slow is good,” he murmurs, relieved.

“You sure?”

“I promise.”

If anything, Eren’s grateful to follow the pace you set. There’s nothing more addicting than having his lips on yours — and he undoubtedly wants more if he can handle the repercussions on his cardiac system — but if he can ease into it instead of putting his heart at risk, then best not to race into anything.

A gust of wind blows past you, picking up grains of sand in its wake as well as raising goosebumps on your skin.

“We should go. I don’t want you to get sick,” Eren says, voice firm and decisive.

He helps you get back on your feet and starts leading you back to the parking lot.

When you’re just about to reach the wooden planks, you nearly trip over a rock buried in the sand. Eren’s arm wraps around your waist to keep you from falling. As you regain your balance, he grabs onto your hand, lacing your fingers together while he fakes nonchalance through his blushing cheeks.

“Just in case,” he mutters.

He doesn’t let go until you reach his car.

Eren carefully pulls into a spot in the parking lot behind your apartment building. With a smile, he unbuckles his seatbelt and rounds the car to open your door.

Your hand meets his, comfortably slotting your fingers between his as if his hold has been tailored to accommodate you.

He glances at your locked hands and back at you, a small smile playing on his blushing face.

“Just in case,” you murmur.

You walk hand in hand to the main entrance and make your way to the elevator. You settle in, glancing at each other to exchange smiles.

“Do you think I’ll have any luck for a second date?”

You click your tongue, shaking your head in mock disappointment.

“Ah, you see, you just ruined it by asking.”

“Oh, shoot,” he groans, theatrically snapping his fingers. “Well, what can you do, am I right?”

With a shake of your head, you smile.

The elevator dings on the third floor and you make your way down the hall toward your apartment door. The short journey brings back memories of the previous night, or rather what occurred just some hours ago. It all seems so foreign now as if the last time Eren watched you unlock your door was ages ago — as if your new reality has been going on for more than a single day. The couple facing each other as they struggle to bid each other goodbye is completely different from the two shy people who shared a kiss at a bar.

“Thank you for today, Eren,” you murmur as you step forward to place a hand on his chest, in your designated spot.

Humans need to go through the motions an average of twenty-eight times to build a habit, but it’s no surprise that holding his heartbeat in your hand has turned into one much more easily with all the warm feelings it awakes inside you.

You blink up at him, hoping he’ll take the hint. The corners of your lips tug upwards when he dips forward, aiding you in closing the distance between you.

“My pleasure,” he murmurs, gazing affectionately into your eyes.

His free hand reaches your face, cradling it softly and stroking your cheek with his thumb as you lean into his touch.

“I think you’re a shoo-in for a second date, by the way.”

“You must not have many prospects in your agenda, then,” he teases, recalling your sarcasm from the night before.

“No, I do,” you reply with an air of arrogance. “But there’s only one I like,” you whisper as his nose brushes against yours.

“I hope it’s me, otherwise this entire afternoon has been very misleading,” he grins.

In response, you press your lips against his in one swift peck which he takes the reins on converting to a proper kiss goodbye one breath later.

Slowly, gently, warmly. Very fitting for a guy like him to kiss.

“I’ll start making date plans as soon as I get home,” he murmurs against your lips.

“Don’t be too long, please.”

He chuckles softly.

“I won’t.”

The warmth on the side of your face fades, leaving you to feel empty from the lack of his touch as his hand falls to his side.

“I’ll see you soon,” he grins, stepping away further as he waves you goodbye.

“Bye, Eren,” you smile, watching him turn around and head to the elevator.

You perk up at a sudden reminder, and his name bounces off your tongue instinctively.

He turns around, his boyish grin still playing on his lips from your goodbyes.

“Yeah?”

“I’ll tell you everything one day. I promise.”

His eyes light up at your words while yours shimmer with hope and sincerity.

“Take your time. I’m here for the long haul.”

Once you shut the door behind you, you bring a hand to your heart, an echo of a smile still lingering on your features as Eren’s words ring in your head.

You slip out of your boots, changing into slippers to be more comfortable.

With the press of a button on your remote, the TV blinks to life, the evening news serving as background while you fix yourself a cup of tea in your kitchen. The reporter’s words are mostly lost on you as you still struggle to ground yourself from the high of a perfect first date.

It’s not until the words woman found dead reach your ears, that you abruptly crash down to earth and rush to turn up the volume.

With a fearful glassiness coating your eyes, you stare at the television screen as the details of a new murder are disclosed. Despite your undivided attention set on the news, you only manage to grasp a few relevant words. Slash, neck, dumpster, twenty-three, suspicion of rape. The blood drains from your face and your mind goes completely blank when it’s revealed that the victim was last seen attending a Halloween event at a bar last night — the very same bar you were at last night with your friends.

The kettle on the stove screeches for your attention moments after the news is replaced by a less tragic one, but it takes you much longer to find the strength to stand.

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taglist: @erenjaegerwifee @youatemylollipop @okaystopwhore

#eren yeager x reader #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction #eren jaeger fanfiction #eren jaeger fluff #eren jaeger x y/n #eren yeager fanfiction #eren yeager x you #aot x reader #aot x y/n #snk x reader

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anderants · 7 months ago

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Before s2 of heartbreak high me and one of my friends made a bunch of predictions / hopes for the new season and I’m quite proud of how many I got right.

We both agreed that Spider was gonna get more development, it seemed fairly obvious that his heart wasn’t really in the whole being a jerk shit, but we were slightly off about why - we assumed that his family was gonna be worse in a very different way, like mr Voss kinda family. I’m so glad they explored him more though! I really like his character.

I’m also really glad we got more of a look at Ant! We didn’t get a lot more but I think he’s interesting. Didn’t predict him and Harper before watching s2 but I really like them!

There was more of Missy (as there should be!) but not quite enough for my liking, but I’m so here for it! I thought they might explore her relationship with Sasha more, because in s1 she seems to follow Sasha around and go along with everything she says and I thought that might come up. It did to an extent and I’m glad we had more of her as an individual person but she deserves more. (I like her and Spider though, I think they’re cute!)

I’m kinda disappointed with Sasha’s character development, I really thought this season would have her work on herself and have her realise how she acted in s1 was not ok, but I’m holding out hope we get that in s3 (which there better be an s3!!). She seems to have become more superficial in her activism which sucks.

Any prediction I had about Dusty was wrong given he went to a different school. He gave me the ick from episode 1 and I thought we might see a worse side to him, but tbh his arc was kinda done by the end of s1. It was interesting seeing him talk to Darren, that was a friendship I didn’t see coming.

Didn’t see any of Quinni’s arc coming!! So here for her unmasking and learning who she is. I don’t really remember what I thought she would do in s2 but I am glad we got more development.

I’m sad we didn’t get to see who was updating the map. I was really hoping for some closure on who made the map on the table, because it seems strange that someone new would do that and we wouldn’t find out.

Anyways I loved season two and I probably forgot a ton of stuff, but! Character analysis my beloved.

#heartbreak high #ander rants #heartbreak high season 2 #quinni gallagher jones #sasha so #missy beckett #spencer white #anthony vaughn #harper mclean #dusty reid

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randoms-fandoms · 8 months ago

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Hi! Would I be able to request Marcy Wu x Fem!Reader who goes and ASKS HER to play Creatures and Caverns or Watch War of the Warlocks? (She deserves it! 🥺)

Absolutely! I do not know anything about the game, but I’ll try my best <3

Warnings: a little bit of canon typical calamity trio toxicity, but with the reader thrown into the mix :)

Relationships: pre-established Marcy Wu x (female) reader

Marcy Wu had been your best friend for years. Of course you didn’t predate Sasha, and certainly not Anne— but what you had was more special. More tender than the loud, fierce friendship the three shared. Your bond surpassed platonic feelings, at least on your end.

Your feelings were clear. You loved Marcy. You had for years now, though this more painful edge had only recently developed.

When Marcy kept you up all night on the phone, crying because Sasha had chosen to invite Anne to something and not her, of course you felt compassionate. You also felt angry. Not because of your lost sleep, but angry on Marcy’s behalf. Why even tell her about the activity if you’re not gonna invite her?

Whenever you all hung out as a group, something that happened more often now that the school year had began, you didn’t miss how the excited grin on Marcy’s face would fade when she noticed Anne and Sasha weren’t paying attention to what she was talking about. You just bit your tongue and engaged in Marcy’s story, trying to cheer her up.

It nearly pushed you over the edge when you noticed Marcy had cut off all of her colorful friendship bracelets. “Anne said that’s why people make fun of me in P.E— its not really a thing people wear anymore.” She explained casually, shrugging, as if it didn’t matter. Her arms looked bare and lonely.

You tried not to hate them, you really did— Marcy loves Anne and Sasha, I’m sure they’re actually nice… but you were just so frustrated that they were unintentionally ignoring the funniest, smartest, kindest person in the world.

A mean little part of you was kind of glad that their friendship seemed to be struggling. You hated it every time Marcy was hurt by them, but at the same time, you felt a small bit of joy in being the one to comfort her.

All these conflicting feelings were eating you alive. You couldn’t stop thinking about Marcy, everything you saw reminded you of her.

One weekend, you were cleaning your room when you found an old set of dice that hadn’t been used in a while— they were a birthday gift from years ago, but you hadn’t played creatures and caverns in what felt like forever. I bet Marcy would have fun with this, you thought with a smile.

The next think you knew you were pacing your room with a ringing phone to your ear, heart beating in your throat. You didn’t know why you were nervous; you hung out with Marcy all the time— but this would be the first time she came to your house. You usually hung out at her house.

Marcy picked up the phone after two rings. “Hey, how’s it going?” She asked. You could hear the smile in her voice.

“Um, hi Marcy! I’m good, I was just, uh—“ you looked down at the small bag of dice in your hand. “Are you busy today?”

“No, never.” She said with a little laugh. “I’m free pretty much every weekend.”

You nodded to yourself. “…Do you want to come over and play creatures and caverns with me?”

Marcy gasped. “Of course!” She exclaimed. “You have no idea how happy I am—“ you heard a crash on the other end of the line. She must have gotten up too fast and tripped. “I-I’ll be over in just a minute! Text me your address!”

You smiled wide, excited to see her. “I will! See you soon!”

The room felt too quiet when you hung up the phone. You already missed her. After texting her your address (and receiving a string of happy emojis in response), you looked up and came back to reality— I should get ready.

You surprised yourself by how quickly you got dressed. A cute shirt from a concert you had been to over the summer and a comfortable pair of shorts. You looked over yourself in the bathroom mirror and smiled.

You were glad you were already close to being done with your cleaning when you got distracted— all you had to do was make your bed, which didn’t take long.

Marcy arrived quickly. She looked out of breath when you opened the door, face flushed and breathing hard as she unbuckled her bicycle helmet. “Hi!” She said, smiling wide.

Her excitement made you happy. “Hey, Marcy! Come on in.” You stepped aside to let Marcy in. She took off her shoes and left them by the door.

“Um… thanks for inviting me over!”

“Of course! You’re the first person I thought of when I found these.” You pulled the bag of dice out of your pocket and felt yourself smile automatically when Marcy’s face lit up.

She took the bag from you and opened it, beaming. “Oh my gosh, this is a limited edition set! Where did you get it? They stopped making these forever ago!”

“I got them for a birthday present.” You replied, trying to remember all those years ago. “My parents must have found them in a secondhand store or something. Anyway…”

“I brought all my stuff, and plenty of paper. This is perfect! We could design up our own caverns, and do a whole campaign together!” Marcy looked up at you, still super excited. You felt a twinge of guilt upon realizing that you didn’t really know what she was talking about.

“Um… Marcy? You might have to teach me how to play.” You said, laughing nervously. “Is that okay? I’ve never actually played a game of creatures and caverns before.”

Marcy’s smile turned into something softer. “Of course! I’d be happy to teach you! Let’s start by setting up the board…“

The rest of the afternoon, you had more fun than you’d ever had in your life playing a tabletop game— Marcy was just so full of energy, cheering with excitement, eyes glimmering with joy when she laughed. She was adorable, you thought, and you couldn’t help but flirt with her a little— in your own special way, nerdy and sweet, just the way you knew she’d like.

“You know a lot about this game— you must have played a ton of campaigns!” You praised, watching a blush spread over Marcy’s smiling face.

“Well, not exactly— I’ve always wanted to, but I’ve never had anyone to play with before! I tried getting Anne and Sash to play with me a few times, but they always get bored after one session.” She laughed awkwardly. You reclined against the edge of your bed, not sure what to say.

“…But it’s okay.” Marcy continued. “I know it’s not what they’re into, so… it’s whatever,”

You nodded, suddenly feeling a little nervous. “Um, do you think we could make this a regular thing? Playing Creatures and Caverns together?”

Marcy absolutely lit up. “Of course!” She leaned in excitedly, grinning from ear to ear. “We could play every weekend, and draw pictures of our characters!”

You fought the goofy smile that was creeping its way onto your face. “That sounds great, Marcy!” You sat perfectly still, shyly aware of how close she was now. Marcy didn’t seem to notice for a moment, then she glanced away and pulled back, clearing her throat.

“It doesn’t have to be every week if you don’t want to—“ she rushed. “I mean, I was being too… presumptuous. I think. We don’t—“

“Marcy, no!” You frowned, sitting up. “I do want to hang out and play with you as often as we can, I was just…” you realized with dismay that she had misread your shyness at the proximity as reluctance. “I was…” you tried again, too embarrassed to tell her the truth.

“Let’s go back to playing.” Marcy said, but her smile didn’t exactly reach her eyes. You decided you had to explain to her, if only to save you the guilt.

“Marcy, I need to tell you something.” You said seriously. She paused, looking up into your eyes. Ugh, she’s so pretty…

“Yeah?”

“I, ah—“ you felt your face heat up. “Um, do you want to… go on a date sometime? Or more than one date?” You watched as her mouth fell open slightly, surprised. “I really like you…” you continued, trying to fill the silence.

“Of course I’ll go on a date with you! Can you— can we be girlfriends?” Marcy asked, sounding in disbelief.

You broke into a breathless smile at the prospect. “Yeah! That sounds really great.”

“Aaaah, I’m so happy…” Marcy shook out her hands, then scooted to sit next to you. She hugged you tightly. The warmth made your heart beat a little faster, and you hoped she couldn’t feel that you were trembling slightly with nerves.

“I’m happy too,” you replied, resting your chin on the top of her head.

The two of you sat there in silence for another moment before Marcy pulled back and smiled broadly up at you. “Now can we go back to playing?”

You smiled right back, glad she felt comfortable enough to ask you that. “Of course!”

A/N: hope this was alright, sorry for the delay— I’ve been busy with irl things like funerals and school

#x reader #amphibia #amphibia x reader #marcy wu x reader #marcy wu #x reader fanfiction

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erinelliotc · 8 months ago

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Why do you ship EddEddy when in canon we have the very harmonic friendship of Eds? What's interesting about the dynamic between Edd and Eddy, if Ed isn't there, it's pretty boring without him.

I'll talk about this in much more detail after I rewatch the show a few more times and make my video talking about EddEddy, BUT here's some of what I have to say about it:

Yes! I agree that they have a very harmonious friendship, all of them together. They're soulmates and they love each other very much. I really envy what they have because it's something so perfect and beautiful. The show is about Ed, Edd and Eddy, but I think it's very clear that:

1) Eddy's the main character

2) The show focuses more on his relationship with Double D, especially from season 5 onwards

They work well both as the three together and as separate duos too. Each duo has a different dynamic, and from my perspective, Double D and Eddy have a dynamic that involves mutual romantic feelings (that they're not yet aware of), which I don't see between Ed and Double D or Ed and Eddy. To be more clear, it seems to me that Ed has or may have a crush on Double D and Eddy (there are a number of scenes that indicate this), but I don't see them reciprocating, feeling the same way about him. And believe me, I really wanted to ship them. I love polyamorous relationships (Anne, Sasha and Marcy from Amphibia are a great example, I think the three of them have a clear interest in each other), I love edt3 fanarts, I think they're cute together, BUT I just can't see them working together as a polyamorous couple because I don't see Double D or Eddy being romantically interested in Ed at any point of the show or even in the future because it doesn't seem to be heading in that direction (I think that in Big Picture Show it even becomes a little uncomfortable how much Eddy specifically refers to Double D even when Ed is with them, which already happened in other moments of the show (and Double D specifically referring to Eddy as well) and intensified in the movie, but it's another factor that seems to indicate how emotionally close the two are, in a way beyond friendship...).

I want to make it clear that I disagree with the view that romance is more important than friendship. I don't think boyfriends/girlfriends/romantic partners or love interests are above friends, they're just different equally important dynamics. When I talk about this, I don't mean in any way that Double D and Eddy's relationship is better or more important, or that Ed is less important to them or less loved by them, they're just relationships and feelings with different natures and ways of functioning. So please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Double and Eddy like each other more than they like Ed, I'm just saying they have a different dynamic and type of relationship, and different types of relationship usually mean different ways of interacting, and usually romantic relationships imply on more intimacy (both physical and emotional), and that's what I see happening with Double D and Eddy. There are certainly things in the relationship between Ed and Double D that Double D doesn't or can't have with Eddy, and things in the relationship between Ed and Eddy that Eddy doesn't or can't have with Double D. As I said, each duo has their own dynamic, their own unique and exclusive specificities that they can't get with their other duo, and all three love each other deeply and equally, just in different ways. That's all.

To me, Double D and Ed's relationship follows more of a mother-son dynamic (sometimes brotherly too), and Ed and Eddy have a more brotherly dynamic (@gettingfrilly made a really good post talking about it in more detail, about how Eddy's like a younger brother to Ed because he's very much like Sarah but unlike her he shows that he likes Ed and has fun with him, and how Ed's like the supportive and affectionate big brother that Eddy didn't have). I think the show makes it very clear that Double D and Eddy are supposed to have a couple dynamic, whether as a joke/comic relief or in a serious way. It's very visible to me that their relationship is supposed to give this huge old married couple who always disagree and fight energy, and even Ed often seems to look at them as if he's finding their excessive closeness strange, either shipping them or wanting to participate too.

Someone pointed it out already, but I think it's very relevant to note that the only times Eddy cries throughout the entire show is because of or related to Double D (I'm talking about emotional crying, not crying from physical pain). @gettingfrilly also made another post that I really like and completely agree with about Eddy and empathy. I recommend reading it. Anyway, Eddy's not a very emotional character at all because as we know, he's always trying to repress the feelings that make him "fragile" and to imitate his brother. He tries to act cool, to be superior and better than everyone, to be very manly, so he can't cry, he can't be a sissy, he can't be sensitive, vulnerable and emotional, he has to be tough, he has to be a man, he has to be unbreakable and unbeatable, he has to be self-centered, he can't be compassionate, empathetic and caring, and I personally think that in the end, whether we like it or not, he ends up absorbing all of this into his personality because that's how he was raised and conditioned from a very early age, and that's how he coped with it, so being self-centered and feeling uncomfortable dealing with and showing these types of emotions is now part of Eddy's personality, even though he doesn't feel good about being that way. He's spent most of his life having this distorted perception that acting like this is the normal way to be and treat others, that acting like this is "cool" because it's how his beloved, precious brother acted, so it's very complicated for Eddy to deconstruct this within himself now, and in fact it's already a bit late to actually change this because his personality has already been shaped and built, and all he can do now is remind himself to be more sensitive and care more about others. Being kind and empathetic is not something that comes naturally or easily to him, but rather a task he needs to rationalize and remember to do, and even in the few moments when he shows that he at least cares about Ed and Double D, his way of expressing affection usually comes in the form of practical actions rather than affectionate words, so sometimes it can seem like he doesn't care when he actually does, or that he has a very cold, insensitive and crude way of showing affection. It's necessary to teach him the way friends act toward each other, teach him about acting with affection and love. He needs people, most of the time Double D, to tell him how and why what he did is bad and harmful to others, but there are many moments when you can see a genuine effort on his part to try to understand, improve and show that it wasn't his intention to cause any harm, after all, this only makes others dislike him, and he doesn't want that. Eddy's desperate for acceptance and being liked by everyone, which conflicts with his "I don't give a shit about anyone but myself" way of being and acting, and being the way he is keeps everyone away from him and makes them not like him, so he suffers a lot being in this limbo between "I don't care about others" and "everyone has to like me".

Anywaaay, back to the main topic: the fact that the only times this character who struggles so much with all of this cried had something to do with Double D says a lot about how intimate he feels with him. Double D and Eddy seem to share a very strong emotional as well as physical intimacy. Sure, it's part of the show that the characters in general have a lot of physical contact, so it's something a little difficult to analyze, BUT the impression I have is that Double D and Eddy still have more scenes with physical contact, and their type of physical contact also seems more intimate to me, more romantic... (I mean, just watch the final scene of BPS of them holding hands looking into each other's eyes. It's pretty obvious).

The person also pointed out how emotionally attached Eddy is to Double D, and that's so true. Double D messes with Eddy's emotions in a very interesting way. He "messes up" everything that Eddy learned as his truth and that was established, awakens many things in Eddy, brings out the best side of him making him have to think and reflect more about things, people and the impact of his actions. Despite also having a lot to learn and improve, Double D has a lot of emotional maturity and responsibility and tends to have a very careful and kind way of dealing with people. Although this way of him being what Eddy understands as "sissy" and is often the target of his mockery or he even appears angry when Double D acts like this, Eddy can't help but feel embraced and comfortable with Double D's affection, sensitivity and support in a way he seems to have never felt before considering his history with his brother and his difficulties and cluelessness about affection and love. Yes, Ed's also a very affectionate person, I'd say even more than Double D. They both like to express affection physically, but while Ed's more like a clingy, happy child or puppy with lots of love to give (mainly physical) and silly things to say and do to put a smile on people's faces to make them feel better, Double D has a more "therapist" and "maternal" side. He's very conscious and attentive, he takes care of people, provides support and a safe space, analyzes situations and tries to help with understanding, counseling and kind words. All this almost unnatural excess of kindness and support is something that Eddy is definitely not used to and finds very strange, but it makes him feel good without him realizing it, as throughout the show we see him frequently turning to Double D when he feels lost, confused, frustrated or scared, as if he sees Double D as a great source of emotional support to help him feel better and get back on track, and as his guide to better understand situations and solve problems. Obviously this isn't something exclusive to couples, but this type of dynamic indicates a very great intimacy and is usually more characteristic of romantic relationships, being another factor that makes their relationship seem to tend more toward romance.

There are many other things, but I prefer to save them for when I make my EddEddy video.

"What's interesting about the dynamic between Edd and Eddy"

Wow I really like this subject because to me this is one of the biggest reasons why they have so much chemistry and are so good together and to each other. I don't want to talk about this in much detail because I want to save that for my video, but basically: Double D and Eddy have some very opposite traits that complement each other, and they have a lot of growth and character development because of their differences interacting together. The show focuses on their relationship because their character development mostly depends on each other. Double D is good where Eddy has to grow and mature, and Eddy is good where Double D has to grow and mature. They have so much to offer and teach each other, and that's what they do by living together daily for years. They unintentionally learn from each other and help each other improve and work on their bad aspects/tendencies, and achieve greater balance in their personalities and behaviors, helping each other not to lean too much in one direction and too little in the other. I think that many of the things they both hate about each other are actually things they deep down admire and even envy about each other (Eddy gets angry and mocks when Double D is smart and uses his extensive vocabulary, but in "Once Upon an Ed" he makes it very clear how he'd like to be smart and use "fancy words" like him, or even be smarter than him, because Double D's intelligence actually makes him feel inferior and dumb. And Double D complains about Eddy's stubbornness but shows that he feels uncomfortable with his own lack of attitude and that he'd like to be more determined, less of a people pleaser and stand up for himself more like Eddy, in addition to him seeming to try to imitate Eddy in many moments, acting with Eddy in a similar way to how Eddy acts with him). The answer is to balance their qualities and flaws, because they complement each other perfectly. And as many say, Ed is the glue that keeps the trio together. He's a crucial piece in their group. In fact, they all are, each of them plays a very important role. @gettingfrilly made another great post (I'm starting to realize how we share similar thoughts xD) about what happens if each duo doesn't have their third Ed. Please read it because I couldn't put it in better words.

Well, as I said before, the three Eds love each other intensely and equally, just in different ways. Even though Double D and Eddy have a romantic relationship, they all need each other and don't function well forever as just the two of them. They work well separately, but just in the short term, as something momentary. They are meant to be a trio and this is how they truly reach their full potential.

#ed edd n eddy #ededdneddy #eene #ed edd and eddy #edt3 #eddeddy #eddxeddy #edd x eddy #eddyedd #eddyxedd #eddy x edd #eene analysis #my analysis #eddy #eene eddy #double d #eene double d #ed #eene ed

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seeingivy · 10 months ago

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Do you draw inspiration from.your own life (events, emotions...) to write ?

HEAVILY!!!!

I think this is something I do specifically for my longer form fics...the one shot tend to be more of the sporadic, cute scenarios I imagine while I go to sleep. but longer form fics are where I really start digging into my own life and putting my own thoughts/feelings into it

a few examples:

roommate eren: actually doesn't really apply, because that was so early into my writing.

method acting eren: (gets bullet points)

eren as a character and y/n as characters I feel have parts of myself that I often feel like are at war with in my own head lol (which is why they have conflict!!)

y/n gets swayed by people around her so quickly and cares about what people think - a little too much. eren is also just deeply self destructive at times and so in his own head that he can't see what's in front of him at all. those two things combined are not a pretty combo, which is why x y and z happens in method acting.

historia's whole being jealous of y/n arc is based of me in real life!!! struggle with real life comparisons so hard and it can be something that is so obsessive for me. when the song lacy came out, it was the first time I really felt seen in the way that wanting to be like someone else so bad can be so all consuming that I wanted to kind of include that in the fic, esp how it pertains to female friendships (will say, all the reception I got about that character and that friendship soothed a lot of rough spots in my heart about that so I appreciate you all)

lana's struggles with love - particulary the part that she has bad relationships of love modeled to her, hence why she originally puts up with ricky in the first place is also based on me (guys this fic is so self indulgent please leave me alone ok) and I haven't reached the whole self actualized love part but i'll get there! (thank you for all the love on the lana character I could cry if I thought about it)

also a bit more deep, but a lot of criticism that I got about the fic (esp after the whole reveal of why eren did what he did) was like "oh he could have just told her" "I don't get why he didn't" was kind of meant to be a more subtle thing of how when you love someone who is struggling with mental illness/bad environments (which at that point he was in a kind of abusive relationship with his producer so), it's often that the way that they cope or react as a byproduct is sometimes something that doesn't make sense/isn't logical - and is no way that something to put up with (which is literally why she doesn't), but it's also why eren is more logical and rational when he gets help. you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped (which at that point he didn't want to) and they need to put their own work in (which eren obv does after everything that happens)

^^ (this is based on relationships that i've had in my own life but also feeling put in that position of doing things that weren't rational and didn't make sense that hurt people and later realizing when I put the work in what a lot of that actually was and trying to have grace with it)

kind of random, but I always imagine method acting sasha as poc. I didn't want to say it explicit so people didn't start beefing with me about x y and z, but that's why she doesn't get the same treatment as y/n or mikasa. (not saying that y/n is white or fits beauty standards, but she's a self insert so I can't exactly assign her a race so the same point can't be made). but for the sasha character, it's kind of those feelings that poc/darker skinned girls get of not being the person anyone is interested in, the girl who is always funny and never pretty, super motherly but never the girl anyone has a crush on. anyways. (sincerely the token mom friend in highschool!!!)

best friends older brother sukuna:

so like. ive never talked to my best friends older brother. he is thirty. and he's also married to a sweetie pie.

THAT BEING SAID

a big part of that fic is obviously intimacy - but more the fact that there's a lot of depth to intimacy beyond sex - especially for people who have bad first experiences and how they kind of have to grapple with that afterwards (I will not elaborate on how I relate to this. connect dots.)

AND ALSO. sibling relationships is a big part of that fic. I have two older siblings (and the fic also has two older siblings). the relationships that I have with both of them are so dynamically different - in terms of good sibling/bad sibling (if that's even a thing, which the point is kind of that it's more complicated than that) and also younger/older dynamics

^^I won't elaborate more on that but just know in that fic that i've had my fair share of sammy and my fair share of sukuna - but also had my moments where i'm immature and not fair like y/n and yuuji. so.

thanks for this ask it was so fun!!! so sorry I yapped....and overshared.....

#asks!#method acting #bsfs older brother sukuna!#I LOVE U POOKIE thanks for picking at my brain #there are typos #I am too lazy to fix them I just wanted to yap

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kellyvela · 9 months ago

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I have updates for your long post on the rat: You know when Sophie and Perry were walking around in Paris. There’s new pics! Guess who they were with? Ella Richardson and her boyfriend. :) But the JB stans will still insist that Sophie and P had an affair even though his ex’s best friend literally keeps hanging out with them. Hah. And the zero proof in general. But mention that he was liking his current girfriend’s (who was still in the relationship with her ex, that she gr**med btw, but nevermind) IG posts all the way back jn 2016 and literally has pics w her from Coachella that year they go siiiilent.

Hi Anon!

I already spent a couple of hours looking at all those precious pictures, I already tweet my favorite ones and I was thinking to do a Paris Fashion Week Part 2 or something, because THEY ARE SO CUTE AND SWEET AND LOVELY TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!

~~~

On the other hand, yeah Sasha von Bismark and Ella Richards were with them on Monday Parisian stroll, and yeah they both are long time friends of Perry's ex, even before Perry and his ex were a couple.

There's even a pic of Perry hugging Ella from that day at le Pont des Arts; and the night before, Sophie and Perry attended the same dinner than Ella and Tish Weinstock, another long time friend of Perry's ex. There's a pic of Perry hugging both girls.

I get that they all are aristos and socialites and things can be different to them regarding their relationships and friendships, but loyalty still exists, and it's pretty obvious Perry and his ex weren't together for a long time before he started dating Sophie, so everyone is OK with them as a couple, and at the same time they still hang out with Perry's ex.

Wanna know something funny? It was jj fans the ones that started tweeting about the rat knowing his new woman since 2015 at least, and liking her pictures since that year and staying together at the same house for Coachella 2016 with graphic evidence LMAO

The jj stans themselves gave the material for that Tiktok, outing their fave as a serial cheater . . . . Oh, the irony . . . .

BUT ALSO!!! I was reminded today that shortly before jj started dating Sophie, he was still involved with a Brazilian model named Daiane Sodre, I mean look at the date of the article, that's from October 20, 2016, and the rat first date with Sophie was on October 15, 2016 . . . .

💀

Thanks for your message :)

#anon asks #sophie turner #PP #the rat and his stans can choke

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clay-cuttlefish · 1 year ago

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Oh Greg Rucka we're really in it now. Everything from Officer Down to when Gotham Central starts.

Officer Down

There's been a lot of cop shit so far, but this whole event is nonstop Cop Shit.

Batman going out of his way to wish Gordon a happy birthday is a pretty good moment. World's weirdest work friendship.

The speech about arresting people being the expression of police power is so dumb. You've killed people Gordon.

Unbelievably depressing how important Gordon is to Renee. She has so few people in her life.

Text-to-speech user Cass my beloved.

There's a joke about Cass being trans Batman that's tasteless but is a little bit funny to me as a Cass gender enthusiast.

I am willing to suspend my disbelief, and my real world beliefs about vigilanteism, to read about a spooky goth manbaby's unhinged family drama as he fights a clown trying to explode the city. It is very hard to do that when he works directly with the cops about normal crime, and Crispus laying out why that's fucked up only to walk it back drives me up the wall more than any unacknowledged shittiness. "Oh blah blah Montoya was right this is just how Gotham is" no the fuck she isn't!

There have been flickers of it in earlier appearances, but this story, and the very end, are where Renee is firmly out of the role of Good Cop and into her own arc.

Renee goes from not being a smoker to drowning her sorrows in the space of two issues. It's fast, but it doesn't feel rushed to me. She's been holding back so much for so long - now that her facade has broken, she can't put it back together.

Tec #755

Renee's only in this for a few panels and one line, but it's an interaction with Two-Face when he crashes Gordon's retirement party and gives a heartfelt speech.

Unknowing (Tec #758-760)

Things have settled for now, with Renee and Crispus working together fairly amicably.

And then they get mind controlled. Whoops.

Renee and Babs get dinner together in the backup for 758, which is cute. It's mostly a framing device for a story about the new commissioner, but hey! They're friends!

The actual important effects of this come later, but it's a good story and I like Sasha.

Tec #761

Renee and Crispus are outsiders even within their department and she's actively mocked here, which really doesn't help her ongoing breakdown.

Having Sasha's training montage as a side panel, with the department investigation overlaid, is a lot more interesting than just having them separate. It's a cool looking issue.

Hey remember how Bullock was implied to have killed that guy?

Tec #682

And that's Bullock gone. Renee's willing to investigate the murder he helped commit, despite trying to commit it herself, so she's a lot more stable than she was at the time. Unfortunately things will continue to deteriorate for her.

Orpheus Rising

A mini about the new vigilante Orpheus and the racial tensions in Gotham. There's still a lot of police apologism, but it's leagues ahead of its contemporary Bat comics when it comes to acknowledging police racism.

His introduction is explicitly about the lack of Black heroes among the Bats and how there aren't enough heroes of colour in general, which feels especially bad to read knowing that he's killed off in War Games less than three years later.

Tec #764

Bullock is finally actually gone, and he's replaced by Maggie Sawyer, an out lesbian from Metropolis who doesn't make me want to punch the screen.

Batman #597-598

Renee's increasingly quick to try and pass "freak" crimes onto Batman. That's probably fine.

Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive

Not a lot of important characterization for Renee here, but she and Crispus get to be competent and chase Alfred, so it's a good stable period for them.

Bruce implodes every relationship in his life and gets caught up in absurd Checkmate espionage and none of that is relevant.

Green Arrow Vol. 3 #16

Vic at Ollie's funeral. Not tiny in a crowd this time! They're acknowledged as friends!

#clayposts #clayreads #the question #renee montoya

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daleelahwrites · 1 year ago

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How do you think Berusasha would meet in a modern/ High School AU?

In my headcanon, they attended separate schools but shared a passion for archery. Both excelled in competitions, reaching the state finals where fate brought them together. Their initial encounter sparked a friendly rivalry, but as they spent more time together, their relationship blossomed into a genuine friendship.

Bertholdt started attending Sasha's cooking competitions, supporting and cheering her on, while Sasha reciprocated the gesture by showing up to cheer for Bert during his Tennis or Golf matches. This mutual support and shared interests strengthened their bond, turning them into friends and eventually into lovers.

Hi anon!! Hope you are doing fine! Thank you so much for the ask!! 💗

I just LOVED your headcanon!!! 😍😍😍 I had never thought about berusasha in this scenario!! This is so cute and sweet! I think in a modern!au they would have exactly that sweet and funny kind of friendship and (later) romance! 🥹🩷

Bertholdt into tennis/golf is so cool?? Sasha sure would be the vocal type of cheering. Who needs a whole crowd when Sasha Braus is there? I can see Bertholdt sweating to death lol but he would like her being like, well, like Sasha. And no one there has such enthusiastic fan. 🩷

Now I'm daydreaming aaaa heuabdoahqodjfjiw 🥹🥹🩷 thank you sooo much for share with us your hc!! 💗💗

Is it okay if in the future I create or edit a aesthetic collage base on your hc? Thank youuu again!

#ask #ask anon #modern!au #snk headcanons #berusasha headcanons #berusasha #bertholdt x sasha #THIS IS SO SWEET!!

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derelictheretic · 2 years ago

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hi, it’s your secret santa! i was just wondering if you wouldn’t mind telling me more about anya and mary may’s relationship? and just about anya in general?

Hi, of course!!

So quick rundown on Anya's past; She was born in Russia, she lived with her family in a small cabin away from any city or town because her Mother was a botanist. Anya and and her two younger brothers where taken from their parents at some point and then she and her brothers were separated. She was taken in by a kind of russian mafia but she eventually escaped to America when she was 17/18 and then moved around a lot until she settled in Hope County!

She has severe trust issues because of her past and is always in survival mode even though she comes across as relaxed and unbothered by almost everything. She's sort of an antisocial hermit and prefers to be at home with her cats (Sasha and Lev) but she does like to people watch so she'll find a bar and sit in it for a few hours to spectate. (aka she's secretly lonely but doesn't understand that so she thinks she's studying ppl in their natural habitat when really she's just yearning for a human connection)

She comes off as reserved and mysterious, she's good at keeping a neutral expression and mostly due to her appearance and being 6' she comes off as pretty intimidating. The only times her facade really cracks is when she's watching Mary May with a soft smile or she's drunk, she lets all her inhibitions go when she's wasted and is loud and boisterous and emotional and the opposite of her usual self.

She met Mary May when she went to the spread eagle to people watch and got stopped in her tracks by the beautiful bartender. She had never been in a relationship before Mary May and even starting the friendship was a struggle but Mary May brought out a softer side of her she didn't know she had. Anya's a good judge of character and she could tell after a while Mary May was just a genuinely sweet woman trying to survive this world just like her and after that realisation Mary May became the first person outside of her family that Anya loves and trusts.

They both have very bold and dominant personalities but Anya takes charge a lot more in the relationship and Mary May doesn't mind because she likes being spoilt for once (she still does her best to pay it back of course). Anya can be blunt and miss some social cues which leads to her acting like an asshole sometimes and Mary Mary calls her out on it everytime but they don't have big fights, they can usually talk it out over a drink and work it out. Like Anya would Never raise her voice at Mary May even if Mary May was screaming in her face, Anya just doesn't raise her voice in general.

They're very playful with each other, they'll tease each other and have regular banter and they're not afraid to poke fun at each other. Anya's not the out loud sappy type but she can say some sweet things, if only to watch Mary May turn bright red and tell her to shut up. They're both pretty physically affectionate with each other, Anya would live with her arms around Mary May's waist if she could get away with it. Anya also calls her cute nicknames in russian bc she feels embarrassed saying them in english. (Mary May usually sticks to baby, babe or darlin but also asshole, motherfucker, giantess lookin ass and dracula <3)

They're very supportive of each other, I think they definitely become each others rocks during the relationship. They're both dealing with a lot and like to seem strong to others so I think they'd lean on each other a lot since they don't mind letting their defences down with each other. And they're both very protective, neither of them are afraid to throw hands if someone badmouths their gf.

(this is all until it all crashes and burns when Anya joins the cult bc her survival instincts tell her its the only way sOBS—)

I hope that's enough, let me know if you need anything else!!

#dean answers #anon #I could go on and on about them I love them sm ajsjsjsjsjfj #I hope any of this helped !!#ship: Pick Your Poison #oc: Anya Cherkov

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sapphosclown · 2 years ago

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how about Willex 002 and Elena Cañero-Reed 003 for the ask game :)

i love them both thank u

003: Willex

When I started shipping them: october 2020 when i started jatp (maybe a before i even watched tbh i saw some fan stuff i think)

My thoughts: i desperately wanted to see how they developed through season 2 and i am so upset we won’t get to

What makes me happy about them: in terms of representation, i love how casual it was and how their romance was important to the plot, if it wasn’t included it would’ve changed the show completely. but just as characters i love how willie encouraged alex to grow and was there for him when he was freaking out. i love how pure alex’s crush was on willie, he was just a 17 year old kid who somehow found a cute boy in the afterlife 25 years after his death. i also appreciate the angst in the second half of the show

What makes me sad about them: willie will never canonically know that alex isn’t gone forever and they will never officially be boyfriends

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: i have a confession and it’s that i don’t really think i’ve read many willex fanfics, definitely not enough to have pet peeves

Things I look for in fanfic: the few i’ve read i appreciate a good balance of angst and fluff and i like seeing people’s interpretations of post-canon

My wishlist: willex rain kiss

Who I'd be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i’m not a fan of present day lalex so tbh no one?

My happily ever after for them: willie goes on tour with jatp and skates happily around the world while getting to watch his beautiful boyfriend do what he loves. they just want to be together as much as possible, not in any rush to crossover bc they have each other and that’s enough for them for now

003: Elena Cañero-Reed

How I feel about this character: i love her to death she is my emotional support middle schooler she is so important to me

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: that other kid running for student rep i was so ready to see that happen.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: her and bobby :,)

My unpopular opinion about this character: she can be annoying however that is part of her charm

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: in my dreams of s3 elena and the other dude she ran against both won and now they have to learn how to lead together (plus would be great opportunity for rivals to lovers era)

Favorite friendship for this character: sasha 🫶🫶

My crossover ship: none

#thanks for the ask amanda 🫶🫶#ps i got both of your asks lol #bonk thoughts #ask games #long post

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starlightxsvt · 3 years ago

Text

Because I Love You I c.sc

pairing ➳ best friend!seungcheol x female! reader

genre ➳ best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, a good dose of angst, lots of pinning, fluff to heal your heart, a lil spice.

warnings ➳ cursing, jealousy(lots of it), Mingyu being a big dumdum, Halloween party( yes ik very well halloween is over), reader wears a slutty witch outfit, emotional constipation ig, they are both idiots, arguments, crying, heavy makeouts, them both horny.

word count ➳ 9.3k

synopsis ➳ harboring feelings for your best friend of years have never been this hard. now, when he shows up with a beautiful girl in his arms you aren't sure how long you can keep your feelings to yourself.

playlist ➳ because I love you- gummy// lie- sasha sloan// in silence- janet suhh// teenage dream- katy perry// lean on me- seventeen// you belong with me- taylor swift.

a/n: hi hi everyone! It is here! A good dose of pinning and angst and jealousy is finally here! I had a fun time writing it and I hope y'all feel the same while reading this. Let me know your thoughts please 🥰

When you first saw Seungcheol, he was a floofy haired boy wearing this cute jumper and baggy pants. His cheeks were squishy and his smile was gummy which instantly warmed your heart and made you want to be friends with him. Which you did.

It was middle school then.

Now you are in college.

Seungcheol still has his squishy cheeks and his gummy smile but now they sit on a tall, well-built and dashingly handsome man. But he hasn't changed. He's still the same boy at heart, who welcomed you into his circle with open arms all those years ago.

If anything has changed though, it's your feelings for him. You two started as friends and soon became best friends, literally inseparable from each other all through middle school and then high school.

Now at 21 years and in college, you have realized how exactly deep your feelings run for your best friend. The wake-up call was when he showed up with Evelyn; a sweet, petite brunette at a get-together with all your friends.

That was the first time Seungcheol showed up with a girl anywhere and you realized it's serious as Seungcheol is more of a one-night stand and no relationship type of guy. He was smiling ear to ear, his usual cheerfulness more prominent and you discerned he must really like her.

Now two months later, they are still going strong and seeing them together everyday has given birth to a little green monster inside you. And you hate yourself for it. Seungcheol is your best friend for fuck's sake, you should be happy that he is happy. But you are not. At this rate, you wonder how long you can continue your friendship with him before you lose your damn mind.

"Hey, you alright?" Seungcheol's voice makes you jump out of your reverie.

"Huh? Y-yeah, I'm fine."

"Really?" Seungcheol narrows his eyes at you in suspicion. You shift under his continuous stare because you know how well he can read you. "If something is bothering you, you can always tell me, you know?" He adds softly. "Of course I know Cheol. I promise I'm fine." You try your best to act unbothered.

He nods understandingly before a ping comes from his phone, alerting him of a text which he checks immediately. "I gotta go, _____. Let's hang out sometime, yeah? Just you and me."

"Hmm, yeah, sure." You give him a thumbs up as he jogs away. As soon as he's gone you let out a breath of relief, sagging back into the bench. However, your time to yourself is shortlived.

"_____!" A loud voice calls your name and you turn to see Mingyu running towards you, hand waving wildly in the air.

"If you are here for my notes then get lost Mingyu," you say dismissively before he can even come close. The giant man whines before sitting down next to you, his lips shaped into a pout. "Come on babe~ don't be like that. I just came to say hi."

"Mhmm," you hum, not buying his words.

"When are you gonna tell him that you like him?" He nudges your shoulder with a smirk on his face as you whip your head towards him. "What! I don't have a crush on Seungcheol!"

"I didn't say who," The bastard's smirk grows bigger as he wiggles his eyebrows at you. You feel your whole face heat up.

Oh god.

Laughing at your flustered state Mingyu sighs, "I knew for years. You probably had a crush on him when you first joined our group. You keep looking at him with these lovey-dovey eyes."

"Shut up, Gyu!" You smack his arm. "If you tell Cheol a word about this I swear-"

"I swear my lips are shut," He holds up his hands in surrender. "But...you know, I could help you get him." He comes closer to you. You roll your eyes with a defeated sigh, "What are you trying to do, Mingyu?"

"Nothing!" He gasps, offended. But then he coughs, scratching the back of his head, "Well, there's this red-haired babe in your psychology class and I was wondering if you could set me up with her." You watch him, baffled. "Idiot, you don't even know her name! Besides, what am I? A matchmaking service?" You roll your eyes at his antics to get inside yet another girl's pants. Mingyu has quite the reputation around the campus for jumping from one girl's bed to another's.

"Aw, come on, don't be like that," Mingyu keeps whining like a child. "I help you, you help me. Or more like I help you get the man you've been in love with and you just hook me up with this girl."

"What is your grand plan to get me the man I've been in love with, may I ask?" You raise a brow at him. His face inches closer to yours and a conspirational grin appears on his face, "You see, there's this huge ass fancy Halloween party at Joshua's place this Friday. And you, my babe, are gonna show up in the sexiest outfit in town- hold up, it gets better! I am gonna act all handsy with you, ya know what I mean?" He wiggles his brow and you let out an annoyed groan, pushing his face away, "Yeah, that is like the worst plan in the history of plans, you dumbass. You really think you can make him jealous? He's in a fucking relationship, a very committed one at that!"

"Eh, I wouldn't be so sure," Mingyu shrugs, tilting his head. Your brows crease eyes narrowing on him, "What do you mean?" Blatantly ignoring you, the man continues, "Listen, you show up with me and then we get all touchy with each other in front of Seungcheol. When he sees me all over you, he should step in and if he does, bingo! That means he has feelings for you." You watch Mingyu with a bored face as he rambles on, wondering how stupid someone can be. It's truly a mystery why all girls go gaga over him.

However, later that night, when you lie down in your bed, Mingyu's words haunt you, and the more you keep thinking of it, the more convinced you feel.

How bad could it be? It doesn't hurt to try. It's harmless, right?

So somehow, you end up agreeing to Mingyu's offer, and the next day you both go out for outfit shopping where the giant man almost forces you into buying the skimpiest clothing ever, a slutty witch outfit. It's a black velvet top with the lowest neckline you've ever seen paired with a scrap of material they call a skirt. It also comes with mesh stockings and gloves and killer heels which are so long that you know your feet will be numb later on. When Friday comes and you stand in front of the mirror with the outfit on, you keep staring at your reflection with your jaw loose.

Why are you doing this again?

Sexy is probably the decent word to describe how you look. While doing your makeup you contemplate your decision and you almost chicken out, until Mingyu calls you to let you know he's outside your apartment. Asking the heavens for help, you walk out the door and when you meet him outside his jaw almost touches the floor as he whistles, "Holy shit, remind me why we're not dating?" You roll your eyes, "Shut up, Gyu."

Grinning evilly he laughs, "Just kidding babe. But you look fabulous. Real fabulous." Chuckling softly you move towards him complimenting, "You look fabulous as well." He's dressed in a vampire outfit, nothing too special, a white shirt and black cape and fangs, but he has the looks to make it special. "Shall we?" He extends his arm towards you and you grin, slipping yours in it.

When you arrive at the party it is going on in full swing, loud, full of not so sober students dressed in various outfits and it takes you a while to spot your friend group amidst the plenteous crowd. They are all relaxing in the backyard, drinks in their hands, laughing loudly over something. Your eyes land on him first, dressed in what you assume is a devil's costume, shiny black shirt paired with blazer and pants as the horns attached to a band are sitting in his hand.

"You guys are here!" Someone chirps but you don't pay attention, too busy looking at Seungcheol as he turns his head and stops his eyes on you before they dilate, probably in shock. Blatantly, he eyes you from top to bottom as you stand there shaking in your boots, realizing this was all a stupid idea.

"_____..." Seungcheol begins but gives up, professedly at a loss for words as he keeps on staring at you, making you feel only more flustered under his gaze. "_____! Wow, you look seriously hot!" Joshua says, appearing from somewhere with drinks in his hands. Evelyn, who is dressed in the prettiest angel costume ever, grins, agreeing with Joshua, "Seriously, you look bomb! That outfit? You're killing it."

"Thanks," you go demure with all the compliments and Mingyu decides it is the perfect time to get handsy with you as he throws a hand over your shoulder, pulling you close while almost smashing you into his huge chest and grinning, "Thanks, guys! I picked it for her!" You don't miss the way Seungcheol's brows furrow at Mingyu's reply and a faint hope blooms in your chest. Maybe, maybe he's jealous.

Seungcheol stands up, eyes on you as he saunters towards you. "_____, wow, you look...wow." You can't help the giggle that escapes you before you thank him for his compliment. Probably seeing Seungcheol talking to you, Mingyu wraps himself tighter around you, if that's even possible. You try to nudge him discreetly but he just keeps grinning like a fool before announcing, "I'll get some drinks for us. Wait here, babe."

Too busy glaring at Mingyu, you miss the way Seungcheol scowls at the interaction in front of him and as soon as Mingyu skips over towards the drinks, your best friend speaks, "Hey, can you spare me a second? Let's talk inside, it's too loud here."

"S-sure." Abruptly, he turns around and leans towards Evelyn to whisper something in her ear, and in reply, she nods, beaming at him. You follow Seungcheol inside Joshua's house, shuffling through the overflowing crowd all over and he leads you up the stairs and towards Joshua's bedroom, where you finally find some quiet.

"So...what's up?" You immediately plop down on Joshua's bed, thanks to the ridiculous heels which are nothing short of killing you. As if hesitantly, Seungcheol sits beside you, scratching the back of his head. "Did Mingyu really pick this for you?" He asks, motioning towards your outfit, and you nod, confused. "Why? Is there something wrong?"

"No! No...I just- I've never seen you in something like this..." He murmurs and you see faint redness appear in his ears. You shrug, trying your best to appear unfazed, "Well, there's a first time for everything." Seungcheol simply nods and silence follow, making you chew on your lip anxiously. What's going with him? In your years of friendship, there has never been a time when things were this quiet and...awkward between the two of you. Awkward, right.

The air in the room feels extremely awkward, full of thick tension and you wonder why he is so silent when he called you here. You're about to open your mouth until he does. "Are you and Mingyu...a thing?"

"What?"

"Are you... like- dating Mingyu?"

"Why do you ask?" You question abruptly. Seungcheol looks taken aback for a while. "I'm...I'm your best friend. I am curious. I mean we recently had that talk about you dating and stuff and you appeared rather disinterested so I...I wasn't expecting to see you with someone...especially Mingyu. "

"What's wrong with Mingyu?"

He rolls his eyes, letting out a noise of annoyance, "Come on. You know how he is."

It is true that last week you and Seungcheol had a conversation about your rather plain dating life and him encouraging you to see someone to which you replied you'll think about it. So now, when you are seemingly dating, why is he so sour about it?

"I don't know what you are talking about, Cheol. Mingyu's pretty decent." You feign ignorance, adverting your gaze. Seungcheol rakes a hand through his hair, "You didn't exactly answer my question, _____. Are you dating him or not?" His voice sounds snappy suddenly and a frown comes over your face. You can't help the venom in your voice, "What is it to you, Seungcheol? Why are you so bothered? I can date him or just fuck him or whatever, what is it to you? Who are you, my dad?"

Shock colors your best friend's face and immediately you feel guilty. You don't know what made you spew those words and you instantly regret when you see him frown, hurt painted all over his face. "_____," he calls your name but then abruptly stops and you bite your lip.

Shit. How could you say those things to him?

You open your mouth, ready to apologize a hundred times when he stands up with a loud sigh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get nosy. I should go downstairs. They're waiting for me." His tone is flat, dejected and it breaks your heart into a million pieces. Tears burn your eyes but you're so choked up that you can't utter a word so you watch him leave.

"I fucked up bad, Gyu," you murmur in a hopeless tone. Mingyu, who doesn't seem all too bothered hums while digging into your leftover lunch. "I'm sure it's nothing you can't fix." He offers and you sigh, rubbing your forehead. "It's all your fault. If only I didn't listen to your stupid idea."

"Hey now! That's mean!" The puppy-like man pouts making you roll your eyes heavenward. "It was a fantastic idea," he continues. "If only you kept playing cool and didn't lose your temper." His words make you sigh louder and you feel like a deflated balloon as you sag against your chair. "Oh god, what do I do now. I was such a bitch. I'm embarrassed to even show up in front of him." You wail. Mingyu is about to console you when Seokmin appears, suddenly sitting down at your table.

"Hey, guys! What's up?" He grins, his usual cheery self. Mingyu sets his spoon down, "Oh, _____ is just sad that the love of-" You kick the stupid man underneath the table and send daggers his way, trying to get him to stop. Seokmin looks between the two of you, confused, before he rests his hands on the table and leans towards you. "Hey, _____. What's going on with you and Seungcheol? Is there any problem?"

"Huh? N-no, why?" You can't mask the tension and alarm in your voice. "No...it's just that yesterday we were talking and I brought you up and he seemed weirdly stiff. You also left the party all of a sudden that day. Is everything alright?"

"Uhm..yeah, yeah. We're good." You swallow. We are so not good. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Mingyu raising a brow at your obvious lies, sporting a smirk and you clench your fists. This sly bastard. You send him a threatening glare that says I'll deal with you later but his expression says that he couldn't care less.

That day after your classes you accumulate all your courage and send Seungcheol a text, asking him where he is and if he's free. A few minutes later, comes his reply in which he tells you that he's in the studio so you immediately flag down a cab to get there promptly.

When he isn't attending classes, Seungcheol spends most of his time in this studio downtown where he works on making music and choreo with two other guys named Woozi and Hoshi. In the early times, when he first joined the studio he was really shy and didn't tell you about it for almost two months. But you eventually found out and you and others in your friend group realized that he's got a knack for writing songs and rapping. It's been a couple of years since he joined the studio and he made a few good bucks by writing and composing some songs. When you asked him if he wants to make a career out of this and in reply, he told you he's still thinking about it.

The cab stops and you jolt out of your thoughts, quickly paying the driver and entering the building in hurried steps. You head straight for the practice room where you find Seungcheol sitting alone, busy with his- surprisingly because you expected others to be there too. Closing the door behind you, you tentatively step inside. "Hey."

He looks up from his phone, "Oh, hey." He sets the device down as you pad towards him looking around. "I thought others would be here."

"Yeah, I came early. They'll be here in a while," Seungcheol replies, stretching his legs. Nodding, you stand uselessly in front of him, hands busy fiddling with the hem of your tote bag. He watches you with blank eyes which magnifies your shame a hundred times. It was never like this between you and him. It was never supposed to be like this. With a deep breath, you take an attempt to get yourself together before gently sitting down next to him on the floor. Staring down at your lap, you speak. "I'm sorry."

Silence.

Unnerving silence is all you get and you are too ashamed, almost paralyzed to sneak a peek at him. Long, agonizing moments pass before you hear him sigh. "No, it's okay. It was my fault." Your head spins towards him, "No! No, it wasn't! It really wasn't. I was a total bitch. You were just asking your best friend if she is dating someone and she was a snarky rude bitch to you." Despite the situation, he chuckles softly before setting his eyes on you, gaze fond. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It's okay. I'm your best friend. I forgive you."

Wow. That went easier than you thought. His easy forgiveness makes you somewhat more embarrassed. You whisper, "Thank you. And I'm really sorry, once again. I...I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay. I was rude too. If you genuinely like Mingyu, you should date him," he advises, his voice soft like silk. You chew your lower lip anxiously, "Yeah, about that... I'm not dating Mingyu." Seungcheol gapes at you in silence before raising a brow at you, "What?"

"Yeah... We're not dating. In fact, he has his eyes on someone else." Seungcheol sits in silence for a while, making you feel nervous for no reason. After a few bits, he murmurs, "Oh. Then why was Mingyu like that with you?" He frowns. A nervous chuckle escapes you as you tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, "I don't know either. You know how he can get too friendly at times. I didn't mind him, really."

Humming, Seungcheol nods before leaning back against the mirror on the wall. You do the same and like that, the two of you enjoy some tranquility and this time the air is much more comfortable, like old times. He hums a tune sitting comfortably next to you as you play with your bag on your lap, thanking the heavens for letting you overcome his hurdle with ease. The quietude comes to a halt when Seungcheol opens his mouth, his voice subdued as he utters the words, "Evelyn and I broke up."

You almost choke on your saliva because never in a million years did you expect him to casually announce his breakup. You turn your head to take a look at him and oddly find him smiling a little. He doesn't appear bothered or hurt and that troubles you further. "I- what? Why?" You whisper. "It just wasn't gonna work out, you know. We both agreed to that so we just split up." You don't have words to that so you nod your head dumbly, murmuring, "I'm sorry."

"Nah," Seungcheol waves his hand in the air. "It's alright. It's nothing to be sorry about. We separated on good terms. She was saying that she actually likes someone else and I totally understand, you know?" You don't but you just nod your head, still processing the news. After a few more moments of stillness, you attempt to joke, "Well, welcome back to the singles club, I guess." Seungcheol laughs, playfully smacking your shoulder as you join him, your face splitting into a grin. Your heart feels lighter and your mind a lot less burdensome and you wonder if it's because you made up with Seungcheol or because of his breakup.

The next day, on your way to class you come across Evelyn who stands by the economics building, looking around for someone you assume. At first, you think about not saying hi but deciding it'll be rude, you approach her with a slight wave. "Hey, there." Her eyes land on you and she grins, as sweet as ever, "Hey! _____!" Her hands move enthusiastically. "How are you!" You come to stand in front of her, "I'm good. What about you?"

"I'm great too," she smiles. Tentatively, you offer, "I'm sorry about the... breakup, you know. Seungcheol told me."

"Oh," she makes a face, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. "It's alright. We broke up on good terms, you know? It's all fine. I also might like someone else." She grins conspirally. "By the way, have you seen Seokmin?"

"Huh? Seokmin? No, why?"

"Oh, he was supposed to go to the library with me but I can't seem to find him. He isn't picking up either."

"I have no idea where he is. Sorry." You offer "No, it's alright. He's probably sleeping. You'll get late for your class now. Bye!" She points to her watch, reminding you of the time. "Yeah, right! See you," you return her enthusiastic wave before walking into the lecture building still processing how casual their breakup really was.

Later that week when you and the whole group sit down for dinner at a restaurant, Jeonghan suddenly makes an offer, "Hey guys. The vacation starts tomorrow. Why don't we all go somewhere together this time." Chewing on his food, Mingyu agrees excitedly, "That's a great idea dude! We really need a break."

"My father's friend has this nice resort by the beach. I'm thinking we could go there. What do you say, babe?" Jeonghan asks, turning to his girlfriend, Iris who nods her head with a grin, linking her hands with Jeonghan's. Ever since they started dating a year ago, she has become a part of this group, and boy, do they not hesitate to get affectionate with each other in public. On cue, Jeonghan returns her grin, more mischievous as he leans over to press a kiss on the corner of her lips. Seokmin makes a noise of disgust, "Can we have one dinner without you two smooching each other?"

"Someone's jealous," Jeonghan teases, slinging an arm around his girlfriend while all of you chuckle. "But seriously, it's a good idea. We should go." You speak, taking a sip of water. Seungcheol hums his agreement from beside you and like that, everyone is on board with the idea. So a couple of days later you all get on Seokmin's dad's minivan as Seungcheol drives you all to the beach. It's not a long ride by distance but it definitely felt lengthy when Jeonghan and Iris started aggressively making out in the back of the van, which was positively intended to annoy all of you. Seungcheol turns the radio louder to cover their obscene noises and Seokmin covers his ears whining while Mingyu, being a sly, unashamed bitch, sneaks glances at them and you try your best to focus on the music playing and the view passing by. When it's dusk, you arrive at the beach and check-in immediately, starting your seven day vacation. Everyone gets separate rooms except the gross couple but you aren't so happy about it because your room is right beside theirs and you know they'll keep you up at night because you are pretty sure the walls here aren't soundproof.

The next morning you wake up fairly late due to the exhaustion of the journey and your general laziness. Stepping out of your room after quickly making yourself presentable, you head downstairs to catch the complimentary breakfast buffet. By the time you finish eating there is no sign of others so you call Seungcheol to know about their whereabouts and he informs you that they are at the beach. And by them, he meant just him and Seokmin because when you arrive at the relaxing area under a huge umbrella you find only two of them there. And Seokmin seems to be napping away under the sun, a straw hat resting on top of his face to sleep without hindrance.

"Hey there. You're finally up," Seungcheol smiles, yomping through the sand. He is dressed in a pale blue oversized shirt and white shorts but what gets heat steaming from your ears is how he left the top two buttons of his shirt undone, which gives a delicious peek of his silky skin beneath. Also, the sunglasses resting on top of his head doesn't really help with your mental health. Swallowing you quickly look away. "Yeah, I slept like a baby," with a sheepish smile you walk closer to him. "Where are the others?"

"Oh, Mingyu and the gross couple went to town for sightseeing and shopping. Min and I stayed," Seungcheol explains, kicking the sand underneath his feet. Nodding you gaze around, relishing the beautiful scenery and the perfect weather; the sun high up but not too hot, just perfect. As it is off-season the number of visitors is very low hence there are like three people besides you all on the beach.

"You look nice," Seungcheol juts his chin towards your dress; a simple pale yellow mid length dress with spaghetti straps. His compliment makes your heart flutter and your face burn. "Thanks," you reply as coolly as possible. The two of you sit down on the folding chairs and enjoy the waves crash and the blue of the ocean. As a thought occurs to you, you speak, "The other day I met Evelyn." Turning his head towards you Seungcheol takes off his shades. "Oh?"

"Yeah...she was really chill you know- not that it's a bad thing, I'm just saying. She also mentioned she likes someone else. Do you have any idea who it might be?" You turn to face him. "I'm so curious." Seungcheol chuckles softly at your desperateness, "Trust me I am too. When I asked her who it is she just smiled and said I'll see." You groan, "Ughhh, who could it be! I'm really curious who she left you for."

"Ouch," he feigns hurt, making you laugh. "I guess we can only wait and see. I wish the best for her. She's a great person." Nodding you nudge Seungcheol. "You're not so bad yourself," you tease.

The day passes by as you all play in the water when the others return and then eat some hearty lunch from a small restaurant nearby. After that you all lounge on the beach as the sky turned dark, sipping drinks and watching Seokmin and Mingyu be their stupid selves.

The next day is full of more sightseeing and sunbathing and taking pictures. After a really fun day, Mingyu sets up a barbecue at the beach as all of you assist him. With lots of side dishes and beer, all of you eat by the bonfire which Seungcheol and Seokmin worked hard on setting up. As you and Iris clean up the one-time plastic plates Jeonghan proposes to play a game. After a debate between him and Mingyu, it is decided to play truth or dare which Seungcheol claims is just childish. "You're just scared," teases Jeonghan with a suggestive wriggle of brows. The game begins with Seokmin who chooses truth and is asked by Jeonghan when did he lose his v card. The game progresses like that, full of silly truths and dares and Jeonghan's relentless teasing. At your first turn, you choose dare and end up doing or trying to do belly dance.

"Is there anyone among us that you have feelings for?" Jeonghan drawls, taking a sip of his beer, catching you off guard on your second turn. The look that he shares with Mingyu makes you realize that the bastard did not keep your secret.

He fucking told Jeonghan! That prick.

"Um..." Swallowing, you look around nervously, chewing on your lip. Half of you just want to lie and say no but you know for a fact that Mingyu and Jeonghan won't let you off so easily knowing your little secret. You take a peek at your best friend sitting next to you, his face concentrated on yours, and blowing out a loud breath you huff, "Yes." Seokmin makes a scandalous gasp as you feel Seungcheol shift next to you. The two evils snicker among themselves as you glare at them.

You're gonna kill Mingyu.

"Who is it?" Jeonghan smirks. You grit your teeth, "That was not the question, asshole. You asked if I was interested in someone and I replied. Done." Jeonghan, not one to give up says, "Okay then. Give me another truth. Who, among us, do you have feelings for?"

Oh god. You were gonna commit homicide.

"It's not my turn, Jeonghan." You hiss at him, sending daggers his way. Completely baffling you, Seungcheol speaks up, "No, _____. Answer it. Who is it?" Shocked you gape at your best friend.

Why is he doing this to you?

For a second you hope he's joking but the utter seriousness in his face tells you he's not. There are a few moments of stunned silence where you and Seungcheol stare at each other while four pairs of eyes burn into the two of you. Blinking, you murmur, "I'm out." Standing up quickly, you wipe the dust off your ass before marching back to the resort. You think they'll leave you alone but they don't- Seungcheol follows you with a call of your name. Annoyed, you turn around to face him, "What?"

"Is it Mingyu?" He asks, coming to a halt right in front of you. You can't help the tears that form in your eyes.

Is he really doing this? Again?

"Really, Seungcheol?" You whisper disappointedly. "No...just. Why don't you say it out loud?" He rakes a hand through his hair, frustratedly it appears as he huffs. "I mean, we're all friends here. You can just say that you like Mingyu. Why are you hiding?" Clenching your fists, you will yourself not to cry. "Well, you being like this makes me think maybe we aren't friends." Your voice is a breath above a whisper. You don't wait for his reply as you turn around and resume your walking, only faster this time, desperate to get away from everything, from him.

Maybe you shouldn't have come on this trip.

A night full of crying later you wake up to your phone ringing. There are a few texts from Mingyu and Jeonghan asking if you are in your room and are you okay and you realize it's almost noon. Sighing you quickly type out a reply to Mingyu before heading towards the bathroom, trying to wipe the tear stains on your face and your puffy nose. Just as you finish freshening up, there's a knock on your door and opening it, you come to face Seungcheol.

Immediately your throat tightens and you're about to close the door until he speaks, "Can I come in? Just for a minute?" His voice is soft as if he's addressing a child and swallowing the lump on your throat you step aside and let him in. He cautiously sits down on the small sofa by the bed while you gulp down an entire glass of water, trying to get your parched throat working. Wordlessly you sit down on the bed and look at him, awaiting him to speak, too tired to open your mouth.

If you're being honest you are too tired after last night to deal with him right now but since he's already here it's better to get it done with. "I'm sorry," he whispers. Expression bleak, you watch him. The silence is unnerving. Seungcheol stammers, "I- I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I just- I'm really fucking sorry, ______. I crossed the line." Rubbing your forehead with a sigh you look down at your lap. Yeah, he did.

But part of you wonders, why? Why did he suddenly become so desperate, so... jealous? Perhaps...?

"Listen, I'm sorry for being an asshole. I just...I couldn't control my curiosity. I really wanted to know who you have feelings for. You're my best friend. I... wanted to support you."

Yeah...best friend.

With a soft exhale, you smile at him as your heart breaks with a slap of reality, "It's alright. I understand. Let's forget it." Seungcheol stares at you for a beat, a perplexed look on his face as if he can't believe you just forgave him. How can you not? You're so fucking in love with him.

"I- that's... great. Thank you." He stumbles over his words. "And sorry for barging in. You just woke up, you should eat." He gets up swiftly, murmuring an awkward goodbye to you, and heads out the door. Blowing out a frustrated breath you lie down on your bed, the tornado of emotions inside you becoming a bit too hard to manage.

You spend the rest of the day by yourself, locked up in your room, saying that you don't feel really good, which was true and opt to watch Netflix. Mingyu and others pay you short visits throughout the day, making sure you're okay but not pressuring you to come outside after last night.

The next morning arrives, all bright and shiny, sky clear, birds chirping; too much of a nice weather to stay cooped up in your room. So after having breakfast in your room, you head out in search of your friends who you find are all sitting in the lounging area by the resort pool.

"_______! Hey! We were just about to call you!" Seokmin waves his hand excitedly as he sees you approaching them. "Seungcheol is going-" He is cut off by Seungcheol who stands up swiftly and smacks his shoulder. "Hey, ______. Can we talk... for a second?" His nervous tone and everyone's weird attitude bewilders you, nonetheless you follow Seungcheol as he leads you to the indoor lounge.

"Hey, so umm," Seungcheol fiddles with his fingers, weirdly nervous which makes you nervous. "Seungcheol what's wrong?" You cannot mask the worry in your voice. Seeing you distressed, Seungcheol quickly says, "No- don't worry. I just um- I just wanted you to hear it from me.''

"Hear what?"

Seungcheol inhales deeply, "I'm proposing today. I...like someone. I've honestly liked someone for a long time." His confession makes your world stop, quite literally. It feels like you are free-falling, falling and falling and falling with no ground to catch you. Simply, breathlessly, you stare at him while he does the same, probably waiting for your reaction. Your brain completely stops working. For a while you draw blank, feeling nothing until your brain suddenly reboots and you blink a few times. Coughing you try to mask how crestfallen you feel and appear not at all heartbroken. "That's- um...wow. That was quite unexpected. I'm not even sure if I heard correctly."

Seungcheol gives you his signature gummy smile with a tinge of shyness. "Well, I've kept it hidden for a long time and...I just can't anymore, you know?" Giving him your best enthusiastic smile, you ask tentatively, "I'm really happy for you. Who's the lucky girl?" Shyly he scratches the back of his head, "Someone you know actually." Your brows shoot up, "In our friend group? Who?" He throws a teasing smile at you while you mentally go through all the females you and Seungcheol are aquatinted with.

Who could it be?!

"You'll know when I confess," is all he says and you don't prod him further because you don't really want to know who it is. You want to live in your fantasy for just a little longer, before everything crashes and burns. You manage a grin, "Well, congratulations, dude! I'm so excited and happy!"

It's true, you are. You are happy that your best friend has found someone to love while at the same time you are breaking into a million pieces on the inside because it is not you. You probably never had a chance, you stupid girl.

"Wait so, she is coming here? You are proposing today? What if she refuses?" You throw a series of questions at him, wondering since when was he planning to announce his love. Is this why everyone arranged this trip? How did you not know anything?

Seungcheol scratches the back of his head, "Yeah...um, I'm proposing tonight on the beach. Thought it would be romantic with the pretty scenery and stuff. So yeah, she's coming then. And if she doesn't accept me...well, then I don't know what I'm gonna do honestly." Nodding, you swallow the lump in your throat. "Wow, you've been planning quite a lot huh?" He laughs, his beautiful gummy smile on display as your heart shatters at his innocent giddiness.

Damn it, ____. Get it together.

Your best friend has found his love. He must know her well enough to call her here and propose. Surely, she will say yes. Oh god. Seungcheol won't be yours anymore. Fuck, he was never yours.

"You gotta be there okay? Others will be there too. Mingyu is gonna be our photographer. I'm planning on having dinner will you all after I propose."

Oh god, could this get any worse? He will propose and he wants you to be there, witness it firsthand? How cruel. Mustering your biggest grin, you say, "Of course I'll be there. How can I not?"

You regret saying that. You deeply, deeply regret that. You cannot be there without starting to bawl in the middle of his proposal. Shit. How could you become like this? When did you become so pathetic? Head in your hands you sit on the floor, back at your room after Seungcheol dropped the bomb. You feel like you're hyperventilating, losing your grip on reality. Half of you want to scream and cry and run away from here and the other half just wants to go to Seungcheol and tell him. Alas, you can do none.

Evening arrives too fast for your liking and as you begrudgingly put yourself in some decent clothes you contemplate on saying that your period started and you're having cramps. No, that would be the most asshole-ish thing to do. Seungcheol would definitely be sad. Swallowing you gaze into the mirror, making sure you do not appear like you are on the brink of losing your shit. Smoothening your hair and dress, you take a lungful of air before stepping out of your room and towards Seungcheol's. He opens the door as soon as you knock, dressed in a black shirt and washed jeans with a camo print jacket and he looks fucking insane. His hair; oh god his hair- is styled back with gel, a few strands falling loose, revealing his forehead and you go nuts. In a trance, you stand there like a lovestruck fool, too busy drinking him up. God his girlfriend is gonna be so lucky.

He motions you to come in with a smile, "Hey, I'm almost finished. I just need to put my shoes on, okay?"

"Mhmm," absentmindedly you hum. "Is she here?"

"Uhh, yeah. She's nearby. Will be here soon." There's that giddy, shy smile on his face as he talks about her. Your whole body burns with jealousy and it frustrates you further. You have no right to be jealous when you have been running from your feelings for years like a pussy. "Great," you manage a fake smile, watching him as he puts his socks and shoes on. When he's finally ready he grabs his phone, checking it quickly before turning towards you, the biggest smile plastered on his face, "Let's go." You literally see the excitement and tension radiating from his body and it makes you more solicitous. Your sanity is hanging by a thread now, as it all starts to feel extremely real.

It is happening.

Before you can stop yourself, you call for him, "Seungcheol?" He has almost reached the door at this point. "Yeah?" He takes a few steps back to meet your gaze.

"There's something I need to tell you." You breathe. Wait, what are you doing? Nodding, he takes a few steps towards you, "Sure. Go ahead."

Breathe. Just breathe.

You will yourself to just inhale and exhale while trying to not crumble down in front of him when saying the words that have been on your tongue for years. This is might not be the best time; in fact, it isn't, but you need to get this off of your chest or else you might actually die. So putting your big girl shoes on, you do the worst thing one can do to their best friend just before they are about to confess to someone- you confess to them instead.

"I love you." Your voice doesn't waver, surprisingly. It's loud and clear, no hesitation, full of candor.

"I love you. Not just in a best friend typa way. I love you as in you're the love of my life, Cheol. I've loved you for years. I'm fucking crazy about you. You're all I think about. I- I really had to get this off my chest, you know? I love you so much that if I didn't say it out loud I thought I was gonna burst." By miracle you keep going while Seungcheol watches you; first with a frown and then his face covering with shock as his eyes widen like saucers, his mouth hanging open a little. He gapes at you, like a fish, all wide eyes and unbearable silence.

And you just stand there, waiting to embrace whatever comes next to you. Still, when he utters one single word you realize you are not prepared at all for what he's about to throw at you.

"Fuck." He whispers under his breath.

Fuck it is.

Fuck, it truly is.

Everything is fucked.

It feels like a staring competition, you and Seungcheol just watching each other. You stay rooted to your spot despite just wanting to run to the farthest corner of the world. The realization has started to dawn on you- your untimely confession and Seungcheol response. Shit. Shit. How could you do this to your best friend?

"_____-" Seungcheol opens his mouth to speak but he can't manage to speak many words so he shuts it again and stares at you with that flabbergasted look. You try your best to save what is left of the situation which is nothing basically. "Seungcheol, I am so sorry. Fuck- Forget I said-"

"I hate you _____." Seungcheol's voice stops you in your tracks as you watch him like a deer facing a hunter's gun. Your broken heart breaks even more but you stand strong and soak his words up, knowing well how much you deserve it. Of course he hates you, genius.

"I really hate you, you know? You ruined my proposal. You just had to confess when I was gonna do it. Do you know how long I've been preparing for this? Do you know how stressed I was? I worked so hard to surprise you and now-" Seungcheol was sulking and rambling while you stand there like a deer caught in headlights.

What the fuck is he saying?

"WHAT?" You choke out, feeling like you are about to collapse any second. "W-what the fuck are you saying?"

Seeing your stunned state Seungcheol falls silent for a second before whispering, "I'm saying I'm in love with you too. I'm fucking crazy about you too." His face turns red at the confession and he groans, covering it with his hands, "Ugh! This is not how it was supposed to go down!"

While he is worried about the stupid proposal you feel like you've been running a marathon for the last hour. The air in your lung simply dissipates at his words and now you don't know whether to pass out, cry or laugh.

Seungcheol loves you? Choi Seungcheol, your best friend of eons, loves you? Are you dead? Is this heaven?

You're too lost in your head that you don't realize Seungcheol is standing right in front of you until his hands come up to hold your arms. "_____? Hey, you listening to me?" Blinking, you try to focus on him. "What the fuck Cheol?" You repeat once more, undeniably having a hard time trying to decipher everything but Seungcheol just chuckles at your incredulity. "You- you-" you stop yourself before you start crying.

"I know baby. I can't believe it either but fuck, am I relieved." Seungcheol pulls you into his chest, his strong arms snake around you in a secure hold. You immediately melt into a puddle, literally and manage to whisper, "Why...why didn't you say anything?" You hear him sigh, "I don't know baby. I was scared. I was worried we were gonna lose what we had, you know?" Hearing him call you baby makes you want to punch the air and jump up and down until the building is shaking but instead you swallow and wrap your arms tighter around him. Seungcheol holds you even tighter and together, you two just stand there, wrapped up in each other.

Unbeknownst to you, a tear slips down your cheek which Seungcheol notices when he pulls back, "Baby, why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"Fuck. I- I'm just so fucking happy Cheol. This is...fuck. I can't believe it." You stammer with a shy smile. Beaming at your antics Seungcheol wipes the tear off before pressing a chaste kiss on your forehead. You watch him for a beat before whispering, "Can you...kiss me, please?" His eyes widen as he takes in a sharp breath and before you can feel embarrassed he presses his lips against yours. His lips are pillowy soft and you never want to stop kissing him- that's your first thought. They move against yours in gentle motions before tentatively, he slips his tongue inside your mouth. You can't help the moan that escapes from you as you grip his jacket tighter. You're about to climb on top of him like a horny teenager when he pulls back, a flushed yet cocky look on his face. "As much as I'd love to take this further, I still want to propose to take you to the beach. So we should get going. Besides, we have a lot to talk about."

"Can't we just forget all that? I don't care about the proposal." You whine like a child, clinging to Seungcheol. "Oh sweetheart, but I do. I worked so hard for it." Seungcheol coos at you. Huffing you bury your face in Seungcheol's chest as you remember you have to face Mingyu and Jeonghan. Hearing you sigh, Seungcheol asks, "What is it?" You shake your head, "Nothing. Let's get this done with."

When you both arrive at the beach, hands linked together, you find all your gang gathered in front of what you can assume is a decorated tarp. Mingyu and Jeonghan throw a dirty, knowing smile at the two of you as soon as they spot you.

"So...we missed the finale huh? Y'all are all done, no?" Jeonghan drawls, slinging an arm around his girlfriend while Mingyu snickers from beside him. Seungcheol watches them with confusion for a second before gasping, "Wait- you all knew? I- I didn't-"

"Everyone knew you liked _____. Expect...for her, I guess," Iris rolls her eyes. "Wait- What! I had no idea!" Seokmin wails from one side making others roll their eyes. "Of course you didn't, dumbass," Mingyu teased. "Well, I guess we better get going. Y'all probably have a lot to talk about. We can have that dinner tomorrow." Mingyu says dragging Seokmin with him as they all start to head towards the resort, giving the two of you privacy.

"Wait- Wha-" Seungcheol is still flabbergasted and Jeonghan pats his shoulder. "It's okay, dude. We've known you two for years. Y'all would look at each other with heart eyes and shit which it was impossible to overlook. You two are just huge fucking idiots." Jeonghan throws a cheeky wink at you. Inwardly, you're grateful they don't bring up your stupid antics and whining that you have done for Seungcheol until now.

"Wait- seriously? Those two are in love with each other? Like the I- wanna-have-sex with you type love?" You hear Seokmin say as they all take their leave and a smile appears on your face. However, Seungcheol has other plans. "Wait a minute!" He calls to the departing group. "So...at Joshua's party, were you purposefully flirting with her? To rile me up?" His question is directed at Mingyu who smirks proudly while you burn in embarrassment next to Seungcheol.

Your now boyfriend raises a brow at you, "Really?" You squirm under his gaze. "It was his idea!" You immediately point your finger at Mingyu who cackles. "What can I say? _____'s hot." He shrugs casually and your mouth drops at his straightforwardness. Seungcheol growls, "You little shit!" He attempts to throw his shoe at Mingy but the tall man runs away, poking his tongue out to him. Others chortle and follow him while Seungcheol guides you under the tarp murmuring, "I'll deal with him later."

Now that you're closer, you can really see how beautiful the white tarp is; decorated with fairy lights and lots of blankets and pillows to rest on. There's a little table at one side where a nice bottle of wine chills, along with some small snacks. The best thing about this whole arrangement undoubtedly is the view; the roaring waves crashing at the beach, the sound so soothing and melodic to your ears. Seungcheol silently watches you soak up the view with fond eyes. "Do you like it?" He whispers.

"I- I love it. I love it, Seungcheol. Thank you. So much," you whisper, almost breathless and a bit teary. Seungcheol quickly helps you sit down before engulfing you in his arms. He breathes into your hair while running a soothing palm down your back. "Thank you, _____."

"For what?" You whisper. "For choosing me. For loving me. I don't know...thank you for everything. I can't imagine a life without you."

"Oh Cheol," you melt further into him. "I can't either. I've- I've loved you for so long and now-"Choked up with emotions you fall silent and instead lean back and press your lips against him, softly at first. Then he takes the reign and the kiss becomes heated, filled with raw passion and desire. Somehow you end up on Seungcheol's lap while his hands wander underneath your dress, your lips connected all the time. Half consciously you start unbuttoning his shirt but Seungcheol seems to come out of the lust haze for a second as he grabs your hands to stop you. "Wait."

"Huh? Why?" You whisper, lips swollen, hair messy and heart pounding so loud you might die. "I- just...fuck. I don't want our first time to be like this. I wanna love you, be gentle with you." Even though his words warm your heart, the horny part of you pouts. "Well then let's get back to the hotel! You can love me all you want!" Seungcheol chuckles at your antics, "After I worked so hard to set this up? No baby, we have all night. Don't worry." He presses a kiss on your cheek as you sit there, grumping like a kid.

"Now let me pour you some wine. We have a lot to talk about. I can't believe you let Mingyu get all handsy with you!" The sulking in his tone is unmistakable and you can't help but smile. "Well, I had to get your attention somehow!" Giving you a playful glare Seungcheol hands you the wine glass before wrapping an arm around your waist as you both get comfortable against the pillows. "Well, you have my attention now and you're never getting rid of it." He whispers, pressing kisses into your neck, and you hum, a huge grin set on your face.

The night progresses as you both talk and reminisce memories under the tarp, snuggled closely. And when it gets too cold you two leave for the hotel where he ushers you into his room and spends the whole night kissing every inch of your body and cherishing you, whispers of 'I love yous' in the air.

Next week when all of you return after a fabulous trip, Joshua arranges a get-together for all his friends. You and Seungcheol walk into the restaurant hand in hand as the crowd erupts in cheers and teases. Under all their gazes, you turn shy but Seungcheol couldn't be more proud as he every so often presses kisses on your face and hands. You smile as he proudly shows you off and talks about you to everyone like you are the most endearing thing in this universe.

Your mind wanders back into that night, under the tarp, after you had a few drinks and Seungcheol had this giddy yet teasing smile on his face. You remember the way his fingers traced your heated skin and how loose lipped he became when he was just a little intoxicated.

"You're so fucking sexy. I can't believe you are mine, finally." He said, his hands traveling down to your breasts while the other cupped your cheek. "I'm never letting you go. Even if I become the most famous person in the world or a penniless, homeless man, I'm not letting you leave me. And someday, right here, like this, I'm gonna ask you to marry me. I'm gonna make you my wife and have way too many children with you."

"Seungcheol! You're drunk."

"Oh, you wish, baby. I know very well what I'm saying. I'm gonna marry my best friend one day. That's so fucking sexy, isn't it?"

The memory leaves goosebumps on your skin but you feel all giddy inside, like a lovestruck teenage girl. The past week with Seungcheol has been the best of your life and you can't wait to experience what's coming.

You're about to tell Seungcheol to stop his bragging when the restaurant door opens with a jingle, revealing Evelyn. Just as you are about to greet her you see the person accompanying her and your mouth falls shut. Along with you, your whole friend group falls silent as you all gape at the two people that just arrived. "What the fuck?" Seungcheol whispers from beside you. "You gotta be shitting me," whispers Jeonghan from some corner of the place.

Evelyn stands there, hands linked with the other person, a shy smile resting on her face. The same goes for the man, pink tinting his cheek as he scans everyone's reaction with a coquettish smile.

The man turns out to be Seokmin.

a/n 2: If you enjoyed reading this, please reblog and lemme know your thoughts! My asks as well as the comments section are always open so please spare a few seconds to let me know how you felt! Have a good day/night~

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Taglist: @haylo4ever @laconic-abditory @madamechoi @winterciella

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