#i like adding little links to posts filled with lists

[kerosene-saint]

I love organizing meaningless digital things very much

[glossysoap]

price recs / poly 141 recs

requested by the one and only @vgilantee! i’m so sorry this took so long 😭

mind the warnings/tags when clicking on each link.

like i said with my last rec list, if i think of any others i’ll edit this post to add them, then i’ll reblog this post with a note saying it’s been added to.

in addition, as i was putting this post together, i read all of these recs again. i have reblogs of them all drafted up, even if i’ve already reblogged them before. after i post this, i’ll start posting those reblogs so i’m sorry if it clogs your dash 😅

price:

- the space in between by @391780 (i mean come ON. you know i had to. that series, and early, has me by the neck. i rec anything from early, duhhh)

- the arrangement by @/391780 (as i’m typing this i’ve only read the first chapter and i already KNOW i’m obsessed with it)

- mafia price au by @cordeliawhohung (there’s also pieces for ghost, gaz and soap in the same universe that i recommend as well! it’s all linked in the same masterlist)

- oral fixation by @/cordeliawhohung (foaming at the mouth for this oh my god 😵‍💫 and literally anything by core obviously)

- mask on by @/391780

- the captain’s wife by @/391780

- first time by @/391780

- sick day by @/391780 (so so sweet and what a cute read 🥹 tossing this at char while they’re sick because it’s absolutely perfect.)

- captain’s on the way by @/391780 (once i get that text, oh you can bet your ass i’ll be ready 🥰)

- price returning from deployment by @vgilantee (i recommend anything from char duhhh. if you check in the reblogs you’ll see any additions char has added to this post.)

- kissing price by @/vgilantee (literally the dream)

- subspace + oral fixation by @/vgilantee (oh jeez 😵‍💫 this is still just as hot as when we talked abt it in dms)

- cumming in his pants by @/vgilantee (if you check in the reblogs you’ll see any additions that char has made to this post)

- heavy by @/vgilantee (i know it’s heavy, i just know it. i can hold it—)

- were - price’s cock by @/vgilantee (if you check in the reblogs you’ll see any additions that char has made to this post)

- cockwarming him while sick by @/vgilantee (check the reblogs and you’ll see any addition that char has made to this post)

- devoured by @xxshadowbabexx (woof woof woof oh my god. still barking at this request you filled for me 🤭)

- rules are made to be broken by @/xxshadowbabexx (oh lord oh lord oh lord. foaming at the mouth for this request you filled for me 😵‍💫)

- you stopped sharing your location with price by @syoddeye (one of my first reads that yanked my ass into dark fic 😵‍💫 i need that man)

- barista sized hole by @/syoddeye (god this changed me 😵‍💫 bark bark bark. literally anything from sy!! duh)

- flashing by @/syoddeye (oh i’m gonna need him to chase me thru the house just like that)

- thighs + choking kink by @pfhwrittes (anything from p really. oh this made my fat little heart sing!!!)

- male submission by @/pfhwrittes (i need him i need him.)

- older by @femalefemur (oh lord this spoke to me 😵‍💫)

- calling him captain by @/femalefemur (GOD the title kink/honorific kink was fed with this. i rec anything from cyn, obvi)

- peeping tom i / ii / iii by @secretsynthetic (i wanna say these were the first pieces i read from naomi and ugh, they warmed my heart. i rec everything from naomi, duh.)

- priceghost/puppygirl reader intro i intro ii / i / ii / iii by @/secretsynthetic

- tiger balm by @/secretsynthetic (so so precious. i love pricegaz as a ship and naomi captures it so so well and adding reader into the mix just makes it even better 😵‍💫)

- take me home, country road by @ceilidho (duh, of course. and i think we all know i rec everything from ceil)

- pretending to be husband/wife by @/ceilidho (woof woof woof)

- babysitter au by @/ceilidho

- captain price x reader x captain mactavish by @sprout-fics (this was such a NEED. also i rec anything from her, duh)

- (re)organized crime by @charliemwrites (oh this series is so fucking cute. i’m in love! i rec anything from charlie, let’s be real.)

- price’s thighs by @captainswhore (i love everything they post and i love when you tag me for my thoughts on things 🥺 i rec anything from them)

- hoarfrost i / ii by @eilidh-eternal (the way this feeds my predator/prey kink is absolutely outrageous. i love it so much never stop please 😭 rec everything from eilidh, duh)

- house hunting by @/eilidh-eternal

- nevermind i / ii by @captainfern (these were one of the first cod fics i ever read and whew buddy, it not only infected me with the price bug (that’s never leaving) but its also one of the fics that made me wanna start writing for cod. so i’m absolutely rec’ing everything from fernie 🥹)

- headlock by @/captainfern (rorororo oh my god. y’all know how i am about headlock sex.)

- you know you’re right by @/captainfern (jealous bodyguard price fucking you stupid? oh i need him)

- about a girl i / ii by @/captainfern (i’m always fucking weak for the trope ‘he makes you squirt for the first time and now he’s gonna make you do it like 5 more times if it’s the last thing he does’)

- bury your teeth in me by @yeyinde (jesus christ this was so hot, i’m stunned. i rec anything from lev, ofc.)

- spanked by price by @/yeyinde

- keep quiet by @kyletogaz (woof woof woof! that’s me barking! i rec anything from jess!)

- retirement party by @sentientcave (i need to catch up on this but i’m rec’ing regardless bc i know it’s gold. i rec anything from charlie)

- firewatch by @roosterr (oh this was amazing. i loved their banter!! so cute! i rec anything from rooster!)

- outside it starts to pour by @/roosterr

- john? by @ghastlybirdie (sunny this was so 😭😭 when i first read it (and any time after that) i just about cried bc it’s so!!! so so sad but also precious. it’s so immersive and amazingly done. i rec anything from sunny ily)

- my daddy didn’t love me by @makoodles (oh lorddddd this fed me so well. daddy issues gang rise up 😭 i rec everything from them)

- walkthrough by @mikichko (sosososo cute!! i rec everything from kiko)

- inspections by @moondirti (fuck fuck fuck 😵‍💫 i rec everything from them ofc)

- price + nik inspection by @ghouljams (literal legend, ofc i rec anything from them!)

- backshot hc by @/ghouljams

- landscape with honey by @/ceilidho

- neighbors by @eowynstwin (i rec literally anything from madi!!! send them love <3)

poly 141:

- origins of poly 141 x reader by @/vgilantee (keep an eye out for any additions to the post, as always. i rec anything and everything from that au)

- monster 141 au by @/vgilantee (i know it’s not all technically poly but in my head it is, so 😌 and i rec anything and everything from that au) click the tag under that post to find all posts in that au

- #141omegaverse~ by @/vgilantee (idk how to make links for tags unless it’s already made into a link, so go search that tag on char’s blog 😅 and i rec anything and everything from that au)

- price’s girl is the 141’s barracks bunny by @/vgilantee

- mafia au series by @groguspicklejar (y’all KNOW i had to include this. really anything from kelsi ofc)

- from specgru with love by @/charliemwrites (the angst in this is so fucking good. the 141 yearning for reader while readers moved on and leaving them in the dust? AND the jon bernthal face claim for the hot as fuck captain on readers new team? i’m fainting.)

- mister(s) steal your girl by @/charliemwrites (i need to catch up on this one but i’m rec’ing anyway bc i know it’s pure gold)

- tf141 kinks by @/pfhwrittes

- tf141 kinks pt2 by @/pfhwrittes

- tag, you’re it by @/sprout-fics (what a classic. i’m 99% sure i reblogged them a lot earlier in my fandom days but regardless, i’m going through and reblogging everything in this list anyways.)

- omegaverse au by @/sprout-fics (i need to catch up on this but i’m rec’ing regardless bc i know it’s so fucking good.)

- afterburn by @/sprout-fics (what a great aftercare fic, so soft and sweet and heated all at the same time.)

- poly 141 headcanons by @/sprout-fics

- netflix and chill by @luvit (this series was sooo 😵‍💫 the variation of kinks between each one was so hot. also it’s totally obvious that i rec everything from them)

- that man is a dog! by @/luvit (i need to catch up on this but i’m rec’ing this regardless bc i know it’s gold)

- contractor au by @/kyletogaz

- vampire 141 making you cum with a bite by @/kyletogaz

- you, gaz, and price by @kyletogaz

- squirting by @chamomiletealeaf (woof woof this is so fucking hot. i rec anything from them)

- 141 sharing you by @/captainfern

- backshots by @/captainfern

- free use by @ohbo-ohno (oh lord,, that is just the dream. where do i sign up? also i rec anything from bo)

- orgy by @/ohbo-ohno

- fucking machine by @/ohbo-ohno (i know this one isn’t including a reader but its sooo 😵‍💫 that i had to include it)

- body electric by @/yeyinde (THEE call of duty gangbang fic.)

- virgin reader x 141 i / ii / iii by @/yeyinde

- spoils by @/syoddeye

- pack cuddles by @mockerycrow (so so so cute. i’ve reread this countless times. i rec anything from crow)

- spread open by @iciclesses (oh lord!!!!! oh my god 😵‍💫😵‍💫 i rec anything from them ofc)

- they decide you’re theirs by @fulltacs (bowing down to you and your genius brain. thank you for feeding us and for doing the lords work ykwim 👀. i rec everything from them)

- poly 141 therapist sharing au by @kyletogaz (holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck)

- heavy hitters; a wrestling au by @dwarvenales (love love LOVE. i rec anything from kai ofc)

- scp au by @ghouljams (ok i know it’s not technically described as poly 141 per se but it’s a 141 au and i couldn’t resist adding it)

- binders and boyfriends by @pfhwrittes (again i know it’s not poly 141 per se but it includes the 141 as a whole and i couldn’t resist adding this to the rec list)

- tradie 141 au by @/pfhwrittes (again, couldn’t resist)

[feedthefandomfest]

Comment Bingo (Original Edition)

Very simple rules: connect 5 squares in a line by completing the task in each square

Very simple goals: encourage readers to comment on fics; encourage fandom writers to KEEP WRITING

(reposted so a cleaned up version links back here rather than my main blog)

STEPS:

Download Bingo Card HERE (png) or HERE (jpg) or HERE (pdf)

Complete the tasks on the card, marking off each as you go, until you've completed 5 in a line (vertical, horizontal, or diagonal; NO double-dipping; kudos ♥️ is a free space)

POST your winning card (or list your filled squares) and tag @feedthefandomfest! Glory in your victory.

REWARD:

✨ victory badges ✨

Tag me when you earn a bingo (or double, triple, quadruple... FULL CARD bingo) and I'll reblog a shiny badge with your name on it to commemorate the win.

FAQ:

Can I comment on tumblr or only on AO3?

Either one is great! The tags are drawn from AO3, but most can be adjusted to suit tumblr as well, so I say go for it. Tumblr fics deserve love, too.

Can one comment count toward multiple squares if the fic fits more than one category?

Since the goal is for as many fics to receive comments as possible, try to comment on a different fic for each square.

Is there a time limit?

Nope! Take your time or set your own deadline, whatever works for you. This blog is still in its early experimental stage, so feedback welcome. Play around and let me know what you like and what might be added/changed—including ideas for squares on future cards!

Do I have to record progress on the actual card?

Nope! If it’s easier to keep track in a different way, that’s fine. This is all very honor system, so if you say you earned a Bingo, we’ll call it a win 🎉

Some people have been tracking not just completed tasks, but the fics they read along the way, so that when they post a bingo, they can also promote the fics/authors in a little rec list. Not required, but definitely cool to see!

Can I adjust the task in a particular square to suit my comfort level?

Of course! If you deliver something in the spirit of the task, then it’s all good. Use your best judgement in constructing a comment that will make the author smile, and you can consider it a job well done.

In general, so long as each square has produced at least one comment, you’re golden and I salute you 🫡

Happy commenting!!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How a billionaire’s mediocre pump-and-dump “book” became a “bestseller”

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/15/your-new-first-name/#that-dagger-tho

I was on a book tour the day my editor called me and told me, "From now on, your middle name is 'Cory.'"

"That's weird. Why?"

"Because from now on, your first name is 'New York Times Bestselling Author.'"

That was how I found out I'd hit the NYT list for the first time. It was a huge moment – just as it has been each subsequent time it's happened. First, because of how it warmed my little ego, but second, and more importantly, because of how it affected my book and all the books afterwards.

Once your book is a Times bestseller, every bookseller in America orders enough copies to fill a front-facing display on a new release shelf or a stack on a bestseller table. They order more copies of your backlist. Foreign rights buyers at Frankfurt crowd around your international agents to bid on your book. Movie studios come calling. It's a huge deal.

My books became Times bestsellers the old-fashioned way: people bought and read them and told their friends, who bought and read them. Booksellers who enjoyed them wrote "shelf-talkers" – short reviews – and displayed them alongside the book.

That "From now on your first name is 'New York Times Bestselling Author' gag is a tradition. When @wilwheaton's memoir Still Just A Geek hit the Times list, I texted the joke to him and he texted back to say @jscalzi had already sent him the same joke (and of course, Scalzi and I have the same editor, Patrick Nielsen Hayden):

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/still-just-a-geek-wil-wheaton

But not everyone earns that first name the same way. Some people cheat.

Famously, the Church of Scientology was caught buying truckloads of L Ron Hubbard books (published by Scientology's own publishing arm) from booksellers, returning them to their warehouse, then shipping them back to the booksellers when they re-ordered the sold out titles. The tip-off came when booksellers opened cases of books and found that they already bore the store's own price-stickers:

https://www.latimes.com/local/la-scientology062890-story.html

The reason Scientology was willing to go to such great lengths wasn't merely that readers used "NYT Bestseller* to choose which books to buy. Far more important was the signal that this sent to the entire book trade, from reviewers to librarians to booksellers, who made important decisions about how many copies of the books to stock, whether to display them spine- or face out, and whether to return unsold stock or leave it on the shelf.

Publishers go to great lengths to send these messages to the trade: sending out fancy advance review copies in elaborate packaging, taking out ads in the trade magazines, featuring titles in their catalogs and sending their sales-force out to impress the publisher's enthusiasm on their accounts.

Even the advance can be a way to signal the trade: when a publisher announces that it just acquired a book for an eyebrow-raising sum, it's not trumpeting the size of its capital reserves – it's telling the trade that this book is a Big Deal that they should pay attention to.

(Of all the signals, this one may be the weakest, even if it's the most expensive for publishers to send. Take the $1.25m advance that Rupert Murdoch's Harpercollins paid to Sarah Palin for her unreadable memoir, Going Rogue. As with so many of the outsized sums Murdoch's press and papers pay to right wing politicians, the figure didn't represent a bet on the commercial prospects of the book – which tanked – but rather, a legal way to launder massive cash transfers from the far-right billionaire to a generation of politicians who now owe him some rather expensive favors.)

All of which brings me to the New York Times bestselling book Read Write Own by the billionaire VC New York Times Bestselling Author Chris Dixon. Dixon is a partner at A16Z, the venture capitalists who pumped billions into failed, scammy, cryptocurrency companies that tricked normies into converting their perfectly cromulent "fiat" money into shitcoins, allowing the investors to turn a massive profit and exit before the companies collapsed or imploded.

Read Write Own (subtitle: "Building the Next Era of the Internet") is a monumentally unconvincing hymn to the blockchain. As Molly White writes in her scathing review, the book is full of undisclosed conflicts of interest, with Dixon touting companies he has a direct personal stake in:

https://www.citationneeded.news/review-read-write-own-by-chris-dixon/

But this book's defects go beyond this kind of sleazy pump-and-dump behavior. It's also just bad. The arguments it makes for the blockchain as a way of escaping the problems of an enshittified, monopolized internet are bad arguments. White dissects each of these arguments very skillfully, and I urge you to read her review for a full list, but I'll reproduce one here to give you a taste:

After three chapters in which Dixon provides a (rather revisionistd) history of the web to date, explains the mechanics of blockchains, and goes over the types of things one might theoretically be able to do with a blockchain, we are left with "Part Four: Here and Now", then the final "Part Five: What's Next". The name of Part Four suggests that he will perhaps lay out a list of blockchain projects that are currently successfully solving real problems.

This may be why Part Four is precisely four and a half pages long. And rather than name any successful projects, Dixon instead spends his few pages excoriating the "casino" projects that he says have given crypto a bad rap,e prompting regulatory scrutiny that is making "ethical entrepreneurs … afraid to build products" in the United States.f

As White says, this is just not a good book. It doesn't contain anything to excite people who are already blockchain-poisoned crypto cultists – and it also lacks anything that will convince normies who never let Matt Damon or Spike Lee convince them to trade dollars for magic beans. It's one of those books that manages to be both paper and a paperweight.

And yet…it's a New York Times Bestseller. How did this come to pass? Here's a hint: remember how the Scientologists got L Ron Hubbard 20 consecutive #1 Bestsellers?

As Jordan Pearson writes for Motherboard, Read Write Own earned its place on the Times list because of a series of massive bulk orders from firms linked to A16Z and Dixon, which ordered between dozens and thousands of copies and gave them away to employees or just randos on Twitter:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/n7emkx/chris-dixon-a16z-read-write-own-nyt-bestseller

The Times recognizes this in a backhanded way, by marking Read Write Own on the list with a "dagger" (†) that indicates the shenanigans (the same dagger appeared alongside the listing for Donald Trump Jr's Triggered after the RNC spent a metric scientologyload of money – $100k – buying up cases of it):

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/21/books/donald-trump-jr-triggered-sales.html

There's a case for the Times not automatically ignoring bulk orders. Since 2020, I've run Kickstarters where I've pre-sold my books on behalf of my publisher, working with bookstores like Book Soup and wholesalers like Porchlight Books to backers when they go on sale. I signed and personalized 500+ books at Vroman's yesterday for backers who pre-ordered my next novel, The Bezzle:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/doctorow/53531243480/

But there's a world of difference between pre-orders that hundreds or thousands of readers place that are aggregated into a single bulk order, and books that are bought by CEOs to give away to people who may not have any interest in them. For the book trade – librarians, reviewers, booksellers – the former indicates broad interest that justifies their attention. The latter just tells you that a handful of deep-pocketed manipulators want you to think there's broad interest.

I'm certain that Dixon – like me – feels a bit of pride at having "earned" a new first name. But Dixon – like me – gets something far more tangible than a bit of egoboo out of making the Times list. For me, a place on the Times list is a way to get booksellers and librarians excited about sharing my book with readers.

For Dixon, the stakes are much higher. Remember that cryptocurrency is a faith-based initiative whose mechanism is: "convince normies that shitcoins will be worth more tomorrow than they are today, and then trade them the shitcoins that cost you nothing to create for dollars that they worked hard to earn."

In other words, crypto is a bezzle, defined by John Kenneth Galbraith as "The magic interval when a confidence trickster knows he has the money he has appropriated but the victim does not yet understand that he has lost it."

So long as shitcoins haven't fallen to zero, the bag-holders who've traded their "fiat" for funny money can live in the bezzle, convinced that their "investments" will recover and turn a profit. More importantly, keeping the bezzle alive preserves the possibility of luring in more normies who can infuse the system with fresh dollars to use as convincers that keep the bag-holders to keep holding that bag, rather than bailing and precipitating the zeroing out of the whole scam.

The relatively small sums that Dixon and his affiliated plutocrats spent to flood your podcasts with ads for this pointless 300-page Ponzi ad are a bargain, as are the sums they spent buying up cases of the book to give away or just stash in a storeroom. If only a few hundred retirees are convinced to convert their savings to crypto, the resulting flush of cash will make the line go up, allowing whales like Dixon and A16Z to cash out, or make more leveraged bets, or both. Crypto is a system with very few good trades, but spending chump change to earn a spot on the Times list (dagger or no) is a no-brainer.

After all, the kinds of people who buy crypto are, famously, the kinds of people who think books are stupid ("I would never read a book" -S Bankman-Fried):

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/11/29/sam-bankman-fried-reading-effective-altruism/

There's precious little likelihood that anyone will be convinced to go long on crypto thanks to the words in this book. But the Times list has enough prestige to lure more suckers into the casino: "I'm not going to read this thing, but if it's on the list, that means other people must have read it and think it's convincing."

We are living through a golden age of scams, and crypto, which has elevated caveat emptor to a moral virtue ("not your wallet, not your coins"), is a scammer's paradise. Stein's Law tells us that "anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop," but the purpose of a bezzle isn't to keep the scam going forever – just until the scammer can cash out and blow town. The longer the bezzle goes on for, the richer the scammer gets.

Not for nothing, my next novel – which comes out on Feb 20 – is called The Bezzle. It stars Marty Hench, my hard-driving, two-fisted, high-tech forensic accountant, who finds himself unwinding a whole menagerie of scams, from a hamburger-based Ponzi scheme to rampant music royalty theft to a vast prison-tech scam that uses prisoners as the ultimate captive audience:

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865878/thebezzle

Patrick Nielsen Hayden – the same editor who gave me my new first name – once told me that "publishing is the act of connecting a text with an audience." Everything a publisher does – editing, printing, warehousing, distributing – can be separated from publishing. The thing a publisher does that makes them a publisher – not a printer or a warehouser or an editing shop – is connecting books and audiences.

Seen in this light, publishing is a subset of the hard problem of advertising, religion, politics and every other endeavor that consists in part of convincing people to try out a new idea:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/04/self-publishing/

This may be the golden age of scams, but it's the dark age of publishing. Consolidation in distribution has gutted the power of the sales force to convince booksellers to stock books that the publisher believes in. Consolidation in publishing – especially Amazon, which is both a publisher and the largest retailer in the country – has stacked the deck against books looking for readers and vice-versa (Goodreads, a service founded for that purpose, is now just another tentacle on the Amazon shoggoth). The rapid enshittification of social media has clobbered the one semi-reliable channel publicists and authors had to reach readers directly.

I wrote nine books during lockdown (I write as displacement activity for anxiety) which has given me a chance to see publishing in the way that few authors can: through a sequence of rapid engagements with the system as a whole, as I publish between one and three books per year for multiple, consecutive years. From that vantagepoint, I can tell you that it's grim and getting grimmer. The slots that books that connected with readers once occupied are now increasingly occupied by the equivalent of the botshit that fills the first eight screens of your Google search results: book-shaped objects that have gamed their way to the top of the list.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/jan/03/botshit-generative-ai-imminent-threat-democracy

I don't know what to do about this, but I have one piece of advice: if you read a book you love, tell other people about it. Tell them face-to-face. In your groupchat. On social media. Even on Goodreads. Every book is a lottery ticket, but the bezzlers are buying their tickets by the case: every time you tell someone about a book you loved (and even better, why you loved it), you buy a writer another ticket.

Meanwhile, I've got to go get ready for my book tour. I'm coming to LA, San Francisco, Seattle, Vancouver, Calgary, Phoenix, Portland, Providence, Boston, New York City, Toronto, San Diego, Salt Lake City, Tucson, Chicago, Buffalo, as well as Torino and Tartu (details soon!).

If you want to get a taste of The Bezzle, here's an excerpt:

https://www.torforgeblog.com/2023/11/20/excerpt-reveal-the-bezzle-by-cory-doctorow/

And here's the audiobook, read by New York Times Bestselling Author Wil Wheaton:

https://archive.org/download/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_459/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_459_-_The_Bezzle_Read_By_Wil_Wheaton.mp3

[loveanddeepspice]

𝕋𝕖𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔾𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕖

✞ synopsis:  you've come back to the small town you grew up in for a visit. though your relationship with the catholic church and faith in general have been strained since you were younger, you find yourself drawn back to the church... or more specifically... the new priest... you aren't ready to share your secret sin with him... but you may not be able to help yourself.

✞ pairing: sylus x curvy fem!reader

✞ rating:  18+ (minors do not engage)

✞ cw:  religion (catholicism), priest, lapsed faith, adultery, priest kink, suicidal mention, dead parent, sex, masturbation, drugs (marijuana), mentions of other drug use, drinking (more will be added when/if they arise)

✞ disclaimer: this fiction explores a romantic relationship between a lapsed Catholic and an unconventional priest. it is not designed to be inflammatory or critical. catholic authors were asked to participate in the process. we hope you enjoy it, but we know that these topics can be sensitive, so please skip this fiction if it will in any way offend you.

✞ chapter:  6 / ?

✞ co-authors:  redbriony, confuseddoughnut (they do not have tumblr)

✞ ao3 link:  here

✞ chapter synopsis: "the only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it." - oscar wilde

✞ index: chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5| chapter 6

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Despite what happened, you would have done anything to face Father Sylus again. 

He was the type of person who radiated energy from within, dedication unlike anyone you had ever met - which could be a good or a bad thing. The thoughts became an obsession, all that seemed to fill your brain. The recollection of his touch made you sweat. It was the last thing you thought about before drifting off to sleep, the first thing you thought about when you woke, and the next few days stretched.  One thing was sure: you longed to see him again, if only for the courage to apologize.  But did you even have to apologize? He was the one who had kissed you first, right?  It was so unbelievably confusing. You’d talk yourself through circles; for once, no amount of sleeping seemed to help.  You weren’t even given the option to sleep it all off anyway or mellow properly in your self-pity. Upon learning of your ‘arrest’ from Talia, your father forced you out of the house that Sunday to go to church with him.  “What’s going on with you, Y/N?” Dad raised his eyebrows and frowned as he gripped the steering wheel, and you could tell he was trying hard not to get angry or frustrated. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, hon. You came back, and you’re acting weird.  Can you just tell me what’s wrong?”  Shaking your head, you shrugged, trying your hardest to maintain eye contact on the door handle, ignoring your dad’s question and wishing he’d just leave you alone.  “You went from being happy to totally distraught since you moved out. What am I supposed to think here, huh?”  ‘Maybe everything went to total fucking shit,’ was what you wanted to say, and tried not to roll your eyes. Dad tried so hard to not act like the authoritarian or pushy father, especially after your mother had died. He was never like that. And it was because of that you figured it was time to be at least a little truthful.  “I quit my job. I don’t know what I’m going to do from here, but -” you said, “I just…needed some time to think things through.”  Your dad parked the car and turned to offer you a subtle smile. You were convincing enough, obviously. “Okay, fine. Work in the store until you figure it out. It’ll be like old times.” One hand gripped the steering wheel as he looked at you, almost seeming to peer into your brain as his eyes flicked ever so slightly. “So, uh, is this about your mom? I didn’t know you were still upset about that. I should’ve tried to talk to you more.”  You bit down your reply, feeling a bitter taste in the back of your throat, and willing it away.  “No, it isn’t. Just forget about it.”  A long sigh filled the small space as your father pressed his lips together. “Christ, I can’t be mad at you right now. I’ve always let you do what you want.”  This was strange, a particular ache settling inside and spreading to your limbs like an infection. Maybe it wouldn’t stop now that it had started. And the first instinct was to get away and run. Run and run and just get away.  “Hon, Y/N,” Your Dad’s voice was pleading, and you nearly missed it. “We can go talk to -”  “No!” You blurted, immediately regretting it, mortified at just the thought. How did you speak so fast? “No, it’s fine. Let’s just go inside. We’re gonna be late.”

You didn’t feel any better inside the church, but you weren’t expecting much to begin with. All you could do was suck it up and seat yourself beside your dad. It wasn’t crowded, but there were a few unfamiliar faces, so maybe not everyone would notice your fucked up mood. 

Everything felt surreal. You were sitting there in church with the sun streaming through the stained glass windows, and your gaze landed on the one depicting the Virgin Mary.

The word ethereal came to mind. 

Everything seemed like it would evaporate into thin air. Like if you moved too quickly, you’d wake up from one of those dreams that just turned out to be inside of another dream. 

And when a hush fell over the congregation, you had no choice but to look forward. No matter how your brain fizzes or your fingers tingle. You were forced to look at that handsome face in front of the church and feel the emotion well inside you. Something that felt different than embarrassment or frustration. 

Even from this distance, Father Sylus exudes that particular aura, daring to fill the whole church with its strength. You are once again reminded of how inescapable his presence is—not through belief or goodness, but something, someone who felt unearthly, even celestial, as absurd as it felt. 

Ethereal. Once again, with that pretty word. How could you even begin to explain it? It was so easy to feel some sort of bitterness, perhaps even selfishness. Who could blame you? Everything always seemed too simple when you looked at it from a distance. 

“Good morning,” He began, his voice taking on that strangely powerful, lilting cadence. He paused, hands clasping, and his posture was different. Shoulders broad, spine straight, chin lifted slightly. “I want to take a moment before we begin to discuss why we’re here.” 

You were drawn to his words, which had formed an invisible link to you. Maybe if you closed your eyes like you did at night, you could picture that night in the car. It felt foolish because you were certain your own thoughts were desperate. How stupid did it make you seem, trying to replay the sensation? A stupid crush. That is all you wanted it to amount to, even if looking into his fiery gaze had made you feel like you were melting.

“We’re here, in the house of the Lord. Why is this?” 

If a month’s insistence on chasing after a flame could be compared to anything -

 “Free will.” His tone picked up. “Through our actions, we make conscious decisions. As far as humankind is concerned, free will also makes us human.” 

Your breathing stilled. Something terrible seized your gut, a cramping feeling causing you to grit your teeth. 

“This is a sanctified place,” he continued, voice rich and filled with energy. “Within these walls, you should experience peace. Not conflict or anger. All are free here because it is with our actions that we build ourselves.”

How the hell did he manage this? The words continued spilling from his mouth, something pulling you further. And after a pause, his gaze filtered over the room again - and landed on you. 

Time was beginning to stand still, and you swore your face began to heat up. But, thankfully, the look didn’t linger on you, moving on as he cleared his throat. 

Well, fuck. 

There was only a tiny shift in expression, and perhaps you were the only one to notice how his pause seemed more lengthy than those before it. 

"We - uh.” Father Sylus made a show of glancing down at the notes before him and shuffling a few pages. “Sorry.” He cleared his throat again, a little louder this time. “What I mean to say is, with free will, we struggle against our urges and temptations. Sin beckons - uh,” another loud cough. He looked nervous. Vulnerable. In more ways than one. 

Father Sylus hastily pushed aside the pages, shoulders lifting in a deep breath before looking again at the people gathered. He straightened a little, and his powerful tone returned as he folded his hands neatly. “So, how do we resist? It can be hard to…admit one’s faults.” He let out a little huff of air, glancing down again. Then, he stepped away from the podium, stepping along the carpeted dais, hands clasped behind his back and thumbs tapping against each other. 

The congregation started shifting. A glance here and there, unable to guess what he would say next. Probably wondering why their priest was acting so…off. If you weren’t glued to your seat in, well, any number of the emotions you were feeling now - you would have high-tailed it out of there already. But instead, you were frozen in place, feeling like an outsider, feeling the shift in the air more than the others around you. 

“Take those feelings and multiply them by ten.” He stated, looking towards the back of the church at nothing in particular. It was as if he was somewhere only his mind knew. 

“Opportunity is often just an invitation to sin, yes. Free will is a man’s greatest power but also his biggest weakness. With that power comes responsibility. Satan doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns in the middle of the night.” 

Oh God.

 There was a tense pause and stillness, and you wonder how you managed to sit here and listen. Those crimson eyes trailed around the room, but for another second, a brief and terrifying second, they burned into you.

“Satan comes as everything you’ve ever wished for.” He laughed, bitter and slightly hoarse. Then his eyes snapped forward again, unabashed. 

He coughed, cleared his throat again, and gestured with a finger above his head. “We all - well, we all think we can overcome any challenge. Big or small. Big and small.” Father Sylus let out a shaky exhale. “Um, the point is...The point is that the devil is ready to collect when you can’t. So, the point is that - uh,” His tone shifted to something smaller that made your insides tremble agonizingly. A breathless, tight sort of anxiousness that stole through your lungs and caused your heart rate to increase. It was impossible to deny that despite the words coming out of his mouth, you actually wanted to hear him continue. “Um, sometimes I think the hardest thing is that we are human, and we are weak.” 

Before he could even continue, his voice cracked. “I’m sorry.” He swallowed, grimacing, an anguish that you recognized. “Excuse me.” He looked like he might break, the wavering tension almost stifling the room, his expression almost tormented. 

“I’m sorry. Excuse me.” And with that, he disappeared into the back, leaving everyone shocked. 

Everyone except for you. 

“And that’s why I’m never going to church again.” You rolled your eyes as you leaned against one of the shelves in your dad’s store, looking over at Rafayel, who was leaning against the counter, making it his personal mission to get every last drop out of an iced coffee. “You should have seen the look on his face. What a fuck up.” 

Rafayel wrinkled his nose, looked around the otherwise empty store, and then glanced at his phone. “Yikes. Poor guy.” He sighed and tapped his foot on the floor. “Talia came home and said he had a migraine - but it’s even more hilarious that a near-public breakdown was because of you.” 

“My God, you are awful.” You frowned and stepped forward to lightly punch his arm, reaching out and catching his elbow with a grimace as he pretended to almost fall over. “That’s a horrible thing to say! You were the one who was practically encouraging me!” 

“I would never,” Rafayel huffed, clicking his tongue and shaking his head. “Anyway, it’s been almost a week now. You’re gonna have to suck it up and face him sooner or later.” With a firm nod, he shook off your hold and dusted his hand on the faded denim of his jeans, turning his attention back to his phone and shaking the ice in the cup he held. 

“How would I do that?” You asked. 

As if oblivious, Rafayel arched a brow and smiled tightly, peering at you over the edge of his phone. His tone was less-than-reassuring, sounding almost pitying. “No fucking idea.” 

You opened your mouth to argue but thought better of it as the shop door opened, just in time for the chilly afternoon to bring in your dad and Xavier. You took a deep breath at the sound of the bell and forced yourself to calm down.

As if on cue, Rafayel pushed himself away from the counter and looked in your direction. “Well, Y/N.” He said, tossing a wink in your direction that made you want to reach out and knock the silly grin off his face. “Good luck.” With that, he turned and walked out of the store with a shake of his head. 

Your dad mumbled something under his breath before tossing a wave a little too late and heading into the back of the small building. 

Unease had settled in your stomach at your friend's departure. You felt as if you had more to say, ask, or get a general idea of as you stared at the shop's door. You ran a hand over your tired face and sighed. 

“Hi,” Xavier gave you a careful, controlled smile as you turned toward his voice. “Need help with anything?” 

You tried your best not to fidget or bite your lip. “No, but it’s nice of you to offer.” You shrugged and glanced away briefly. “Why? Got nothing else to do?” 

“Uh, I work here?” He blinked as he stepped forward. You could take in his softening facial features now that he was closer. His smile didn’t quite fade as he looked around the quiet shop. “Anyway - I um. I tried to call you last night? About dinner?” 

Tilting your head in confusion, you froze. Then, you processed the sentence. 

Dinner. Shit. 

“Oh! My phone went missing. I’m sure it’ll turn up soon or something. Wasn’t the nicest phone anyways,” you brushed some hair behind your ear. “I still can’t figure out how it disappeared!” You forced a laugh at your lie and shifted uncomfortably.

You’d completely forgotten about agreeing to go out with him. How fucking stupid were you? So caught up in the idea of -

“Well, uh, I didn’t plan much. So it’s okay, we can just do something another night. Right?” Xavier suggested, and you couldn’t tell if he had let it go so quickly or was suspicious about your behavior. 

Either way, you smiled, rationalizing with yourself for what felt like the millionth time that spending time with him would be a good thing. Any way to keep your mind distracted. Clearly, he still wanted to go out with you, and you certainly wouldn’t say no. After all, who could blame you for latching on anyone who showed the slightest interest? 

This would be a step in the right direction, right? Things would get better. They had to. No matter how weird it felt for you to think so. 

“That’s fine. Sorry, my head’s all over the place.” 

The worst part of it all was the sudden weight in your stomach, the ache in your chest that was becoming all too tiring. Something pushed you in the complete opposite direction of the young man in front of you, towards what you really wanted, and had no explanation for why you did. 

“Y/N?” Xavier spoke again and stepped closer, watching your expression with careful scrutiny, his hand reaching out to touch yours, giving you a new feeling of unease. “Hey, um, - you alright?” 

Your heart wrenched a little at the worry, and you wondered exactly how pathetic you appeared. “I think so. Can you take over? I gotta step out for a while.”

It grew colder as you walked along the sidewalk, sticking your hands inside your jacket pockets. Clouds gathered in the distance, inching their way towards the suburb. The air smelled fresher, as if it might snow lightly sometime at night. A breeze swept over the street, stirring pieces of your hair from its confines, and you briefly thought you should have remembered your scarf. 

Then, you came to a stop in front of the church. 

You looked down at your outfit, the jeans and the oversized blue sweater you had found in your mom's closet, when you couldn’t be bothered to do your own laundry. Perhaps she would give you strength, or at least enough willpower from wherever she was to give you the courage to turn right the fuck around and go back home.  She was always straightforward in that way, even without the drinking. If only you had taken after her in that aspect. 

For a moment, you almost turned to leave, giving yourself the opportunity to simply walk away and go home. However, after a few seconds of mental debate, you stepped along the worn walkway and up the steps, slipping your hand out of your pocket to place it on the worn wooden door. 

Somewhere in your mind was a glimmer of hope, the possibility of resolve.

Now that you had gathered whatever courage you had left, you took one last, bracing breath before pushing the door open. A jolt of energy speared up your arms, a buzzing sensation against your fingertips. Once you were inside, everything felt eerily silent. Almost too silent. But as the familiar warmth enveloped you, your body relaxed slightly as you shrugged off your jacket. 

The last light from the day was casting through the windows, and the interior was a muted, golden glow and soft orange. It felt warm in more ways than one. Despite the hushed nature of the building, energy thrummed within you. The atmosphere was inviting, but for some reason, you couldn’t quite muster the ability to step forward any further, feet stuck to the floor beneath you. It was ironic, yet in a way, expected; you felt like crying or throwing something, but maybe punching Father Sylus would give you the most satisfaction. 

The chapel seemed alien to you as you made your way further inside. 

Loneliness was all-consuming, a fear ever present and threatening in the back of your mind. You wondered why it hurt so much. And, you considered whether you have ever experienced a real connection in your life. You zeroed in on the cross beyond the rows of pews as if you could use it for answers. It glinted a little in the evening light that filtered through the stained glass. Your eyes felt dry as they fixed upon the illuminated wood, searching, listening, walking towards the front of the church like a mouse. 

“You think this is funny, don’t you?” You asked your question out loud. The silence of the building taunted you in return, and something constricted within your chest. The rush of it all was consuming, filling your every thought with hope and expectation. A breath sucked in, and you shook your head, blinking. Everything felt off, and you had no idea what your body was supposed to do with itself. “This is so fucked. You know, this is all…just so messed up,” you choked out the whisper and, with a small gasp, swallowed. The emotions swelled. Heavy and pounding and suddenly overwhelming. 

Who gave a shit? Nothing would change. 

But, maybe - 

Would God be willing? Could He lift the spell put on you that would continue to grow? 

“Mom is dead, and she’s not coming back.” The words spilled and dropped like shattered glass. “And, uh, it’s just like, that’s fucked up. Isn’t it? Please, it’s - well, I wish I knew, God damn it. Motherfucker!” You swore louder than you should have, not recognizing your own voice. A feeling that had no name gripped your heart. This was it. You were giving up. “Totally fucked up. And you go and make me do stupid shit? What kind of test is that?” 

Only silence answered. You wondered how you should feel. As angry as you were, it felt strange to voice it. Finally, saying the words brought unusual comfort, and it was too easy to admit everything now. “Yeah, yeah. You should really apologize, God. Lord. Jesus. Whatever.” 

“I’m sorry.” The voice that spoke back did not belong to you. Echoing off the walls and the stained glass, it sent a jolt up your spine, causing you to spin in its direction. Leaning against a doorframe was Father Sylus, looking down at the floor, that shameful expression resurfacing on his face. You witnessed the repentant facade as he lifted his head and looked at you. 

It felt like a flood rushed through you, coursing, washing away the anger, seeping into every cell, and filling you with something new. Warm and soft, somehow breaking you apart as it passed. Something indecipherable but true. 

Something almost wonderful and exhilarating. 

He looked like something you could draw. That raw, exposed sort of aura. 

That same warmth enveloped your heart, the comfort expanding across your chest. There was something profound and affectionate within his gaze and the sense that you had underestimated what was truly meant by the phrase ‘care and concern.’

It could have been a few seconds. Or minutes passed as you stood rooted to the spot. The beating of your heart seemed to echo in your ears. Blood pulsed through your veins, the silence around you growing louder. 

“For what?” You were almost afraid to speak up. 

“For whatever you’re feeling,” Father Sylus stated plainly. Then he straightened, and his look shifted, and for a split second, he stepped forward, only to pause with his fingers twitching at his sides. Maybe there was confusion flickering in his gaze. Or longing. But he still didn’t move from where he stood, as if unable to break the tension he had with himself. After a time, he studied your face and added, “For everything and for nothing.” 

After a moment of thought, you shook your head. “That’s vague.” 

“It’s all I’ve got.” Father Sylus ran a hand behind his neck, almost nervously, eyes shifting and gaze searching. Another pause lingered between you, and you blinked a few times. He opened and closed his mouth, finally settling on placing both his hands on his hips, inclining his head to look at the stained glass windows. “That…and guilt.” 

His admission seemed weighted, and his voice was heavy. You watched him take a step forward, then hesitate. 

In that second, there was a great leap in understanding. You understood that he would not look directly at you because it would break this sacred reverence between you and whatever else was going on within his mind. 

Maybe it’d always been a game, and perhaps you knew deep down that this would be his next move. The inevitable, silent communication. Slowly, you folded your shaky arms over your chest. The look that flashed in his eyes made you shudder. With a new boldness, you swallowed and whispered: “Why are you telling me this?” 

Exhaling hard, you weren’t sure whether to scream, laugh, or cry as you awaited your answer.

He swallowed, his dark gaze teeming like a fire in the low light, the red burning. His lip curled. “Because I feel like you can understand it. Why I feel this way.” 

A sick urge, sharp and needy, had you crossing the space between you, the air shaking and trembling as he finally took another stride forward. Your eyes traced over his face. Deep and pained and beautiful. His chest heaved. A strange, bittersweet satisfaction filled you. 

“I - I can’t stop thinking about -” you broke off, words quivering as you spoke. “Us. The other night - it keeps going through my head, what I said, and -” your voice was breaking again, the achy, miserable desperation settling in. 

You could tell he was holding his breath, hands now clenched into fists, gaze searching and uncertain. “I didn’t mean to deceive you.” The words hung heavy as he stepped closer, finally closing the distance between you, tilting your chin, and forcing you to look at him. The grip held you firmly, though his eyes remained gentle and pleading. “I want nothing more than to pray - beg for your forgiveness. Try and restore whatever trust I’ve betrayed - but in all truth, God, I -” 

Another thick swallow, and he paused, the corner of his mouth twisting. He squeezed your chin lightly as if in search of some answer. Then his hand fell to his side, his head turning to look at the cross behind the altar. Something burned beneath your ribs. 

“What is it?” You whispered, trembling with the effort of not spilling all your unresolved thoughts. “Tell me - tell me something, anything, or - or -” You stopped yourself, feeling a little pathetic at not being able to formulate the proper words. 

“My path was never exactly clear, but,” Father Sylus swallowed thickly, sounding more scared than ever. “Someone I loved when I was younger - she -” A long sigh escaped his lips. “We were each other's firsts and…We loved each other very much.” He exhaled again. His face creased into sadness, reminiscent and haunting. A sharp pain, almost. One that lingered from emotions held within. The truth was there, plain as day, naked, heartbroken, and fragile. “She died when she was eighteen.” 

Pain squeezed at you mercilessly, tight and almost bone-crunching. You stepped closer, your brain slowly putting it all together, realization hitting. Then your bottom lip trembles as you reach out, taking hold of his hand and squeezing it. “I’m sorry,” you manage to say after a moment, “that must have been -” Another pause, trying to settle your lungs into a steadier breathing pattern. 

He squeezed your hand, looking at you, catching your gaze and holding it, unwavering. “I went to her funeral in a church far bigger than this one with twice the congregation. And later that day, when they put her down into the ground, I listened to the Monsignor pray over her soul.” He looked away again, this time up at the beams in the ceiling. “And I really listened to what he was saying for the first time. And I don’t know why, I just suddenly felt…” He trailed off, and you moved your hand further up his arm, willing him to continue by pressing your fingertips gently into his forearm. 

He smiled at the ceiling, faint and apologetic. “I felt at peace. Everything clicked into place. As stupid as that sounds. It was like something I couldn’t understand but needed. And, well,” he shrugged. 

“At last, it finally made sense to me,” he muttered. “The power God holds over us was always right there.” Then he turned to face you, his fingers reaching and resting on your cheek, tracing the soft skin of your jaw. “And now, I stand before you - finding these feelings again, the first true connection I’ve felt in years. I don’t mean to doubt anything…but I don’t know how to...” 

He let his voice drift off before tucking your hair behind your ear, movements tender. You wondered what he could see in your expression. 

“How did she die?” You asked quietly as if the question would destroy something in the air, but you needed to ask it anyway. 

The corners of his mouth trembled as he stroked his thumb along your jawline, offering you a small, grim smile. “She was mad at something, drank herself sick. Decided a joy ride on a motorcycle might be a good idea,” he turned his gaze to the ceiling again, and it finally hit you that he kept doing that as a trick to keep himself from crying. “She lost control and swerved, hit a wall head-on. Died on impact. Stupid girl with the dumbest ideas. She used to talk about seeing if the world curved or if the stars continued forever. She was funny and smart - but not as smart as she should have been. Her blood alcohol level came back three times the legal limit.” 

“That’s horrible,” you breathed. The puzzle pieces were assembled together. A crash. Drunk. How similar it was to your mother. Only your mother hadn’t met death head-on. It was still one of those things that made you wonder; which would have been worse? The chance was so similar yet unique. Still, as Father Sylus spoke about it, you swore you felt the faint sorrow he must still carry within himself.

“Sylus, I’m -” 

“Don’t be sorry.” He said, finally regaining a certain poise about his face, somehow managing to look warm even at this moment, smiling very softly. 

At his words, you realized you were breathing harder than before, and it didn’t go unnoticed as he scanned your face. You didn’t know what was wrong with you; you felt an emotion you could no longer explain. He had experienced loss, same as you, just not in the same way. 

Father Sylus let out a dry snort. “It’s not a happy memory, but something good comes from pain. Distrust to trust. Fear to courage. Hatred to love. To an extent, those things make you understand and appreciate everything.” 

You nodded, unable to stop yourself from wrapping your arms around his middle, convincing yourself you would forget how to breathe if you didn’t. You embraced him because it felt like the right thing to do, the smoothness of his shirt beneath your fingertips. His hand ran up along your side until it rested on your neck's base, soft, gentle, and warm. He exhaled a little before resting his chin on the top of your head. 

As he held you, you realized that this was what you had wanted. This was what you had really been aching for. Everything shifted again, changing, rushing with a tangle of nerves and dizziness. Nothing else would settle more easily than being cradled right there, where you could breathe him in. 

“Hey, do you -” He leaned back, both hands cupping your face, tilting it to meet his own. It took him a moment to formulate his question. “I shouldn’t ask, but - do you still want me?” 

Of course you did. More than anything. 

But even then, you should have stepped away. Should have walked out without another word, back to whatever fucking regular life you thought you had. But with whatever strength you had left, you pushed everything aside and quietly said, “Yes.” 

He had pressed you against the wooden door of the office, pinning you in place after dragging you in there and shutting the door. Not that you really had any intention of going anywhere. Not with his lips moving against yours, the desperation sending sparks along your skin.  His tongue darted out, parting your lips and moving into your mouth. Hungry and forceful and tasting every inch.

“You know,” he said as he pulled back, taking a second to breathe, “It’s so hard to be good when you’re so…” He trailed off, leaving you to only imagine what he would say. 

No, you had no words or any logical thoughts, really. Perhaps this was the closest thing to heaven you’d ever feel, surely. And Father Sylus ran his hands down your sides, slow and possessive, grabbing fistfuls of your sweater and bunching it up. Heat began spreading throughout your body as his fingertips crept underneath and stoked along the sensitive skin. 

“Will you let me in?” He mumbled, his lips now on the underside of your jaw as his palms spanned across your stomach as if trying to map out every inch of exposed skin. The blood pounded in your veins, pulsing in rhythm with your heartbeat.

“If this is what it feels like to be tempted,” you mused, gasping as he sucked on the skin above your collarbone, gripping the front of his shirt. “I have already failed. Miserably.” 

Letting out a hot breath that sounded an awful lot like laughter, he pulled away, a smile stretching across his lips, amused. “I suppose you really have,” he chuckled. His hands gripped your hips and spun you around so you were against his desk. Then he ducked down to press more kisses along your throat. The shivers returned as he lifted your sweater over your head, tossing it aside with another wicked grin. And for the first time, you noticed the hint of a dimple in the corner of his mouth. 

After a moment, Father Sylus fumbled with the buttons of his shirt until that, too, was discarded, skin suddenly bare. The sight made you stop, observing for a moment. For the first time, your fingers reached out and touched the skin of his chest, moving over the muscles and across his stomach. You marveled at the way he flinched slightly, inhaling sharply at your touch. 

Everything felt…hot, heavy, and inappropriate in the best way. 

And before you knew it, his hands were running up along the bare skin of your stomach, a barely-there brush that made your breath hitch. Then his hands were behind your back, unhooking your bra as his lips found yours again, rough and fervent. As it was removed, there was not a second of delay before his hands cupped both of your breasts, squeezing and drawing his thumbs over your nipples. 

“You’re so beautiful,” his hands shifted, fingers resting along the waistband of your jeans. 

It was like every little action was becoming overwhelming, sending pulsing waves through every nerve, vein, and muscle. When he popped the button, slid the zipper, and slowly eased the jeans down, the pulsing only got stronger—dizzying with its intensity. It was challenging to focus on anything else that would make more sense. Your mind was clouded. 

“Wait,” you breathed, sitting on the desk, pulling the clip from your hair and tossing it to the floor, the waves tumbling out. His hands never left you, still roaming over every little centimeter of you they could get access to, “I -” 

It didn’t need to be said, whatever it was. Because a grin broke out across his lips. A bright, glorious grin as Father Sylus pressed another harsh kiss to your lips like he could swallow the words down.

Stepping closer, he maneuvered you onto your back, your legs dangling over the edge of the desk. The smooth, cool wood pressed against the length of your spine and shoulders as you heard something that sounded like a book fall somewhere behind you. He gripped the soft flesh of your thighs, blunt nails digging in. Breath hitching, your heart thumped at the roughness and passion of his movements. Something animalistic and unrestrained lay just beneath the surface, waiting, ready. 

“Let me,” he urged quietly, fingers winding over the lace underwear, dragging them down the length of your legs. Fingers stroked up again, curling and caressing your inner thighs, one hand finally reaching the place where you were already desperate, soaking wet, and aching to be touched. Without hesitation, a digit dipped, sliding along your slick folds and slipping in easily. The motion made you bite down on your tongue as his other hand ran along the underside of your knee, urging your leg up and apart. 

You felt the pad of his thumb gliding over the little bundle of nerves, back and forth in a way that made you groan. 

“You are,” his voice was low, almost a growl, and his teasing continued. “So gorgeous, laying there. I can’t stop looking at you.” One finger became two. Slick and hot as they moved into you, each stroke moving deeper. All too suddenly, his lips were crashing down against yours, kissing you hard and desperately as if set on devouring you whole. 

The only thing keeping you stable was grabbing his shoulder and his upper arm. The sudden rise of pressure rushed around you. His thumb slipped, pressing down a bit more on your clit, drawing another gasp from you, a sound that filled the room. Then he pulled his hand away, an invisible weight settling when the digits were gone, leaving you empty and still aching for more. 

“I’m on birth control,” you managed, eyes blinking rapidly as you processed that this, in fact, was actually about to happen. The fullness beneath your belly was spooling tighter, coiling. 

It was only a few seconds; that’s all it took for him to undo his belt buckle, his length freed. Straining, leaking, begging to be inside you. The size of it makes you swallow a certain anxious lump in your throat. 

“Please.” The word spilled out before you could stop it. The coil inside you grew more and more tense and throbbing. You needed it now; the consequences didn’t matter, nor did the guilt or shame. “Please.”

His breathing hitched as if a long controlled flame within had been ignited. One of his hands rested on your hip, the other hooking under your opposite knee, parting you further and steadying himself. The tip of his cock pressed at your center. You didn’t have any time to prepare because, at that very moment, he was pushing further, sliding into you inch by inch. 

The heat and fullness and pleasure coursed, trembling through you. 

“Sweetheart,” he breathed, face buried in the crook of your neck, but you could hear the grin in his tone, the soft desperation in his voice. “You, you -” but his breath choked off as he pushed all the way inside, the moan that ripped through him cracked and hoarse. 

It took you a moment to feel him fully, gasping for air and dazed beyond what was really necessary. Holding tight, you wrapped an arm around his neck, exhaling hard. The room became a haze around the two of you, the entire moment almost suspended, paused, put on hold. 

When he moved his hips again, you whimpered as he hit somewhere deep, and your pleasure spiked. 

“Fuck,” he whispered against your skin, raising himself just enough to look at you, eyes glinting with a certain fervor. A little dark, a little feral, something wildly possessive and hungry and yearning all at once. “Oh, fuck,” he hissed, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes. Another jolt shot through you. Another strong thrust, this one harder than the last, followed by another. And another. It took a minute for him to set a rhythm, but when he did - you were sure the air was being pushed from your lungs each time. 

You couldn’t do anything but hang on. His mouth met yours in a sloppy, forceful kiss. Gasping and shuddering, you tried not to shout at the next jolt. The constant grind fills you every time. Deeper and sharper. The steady, thrumming pleasure. Intense and focused, as if Father Sylus were on a mission. Searching for something. Finding each sweet spot with whatever desperate greed drove him. Like now that he’d had the taste of something forbidden, he wanted the best of it - anything you could offer. 

He shifted slightly, and before you knew it, he hooked your leg over his shoulder, the deep angle making you arch from the desk. 

One hand tangled in his hair, the other on his shoulder, gripping hard and pulling him closer, trying to keep him buried deep inside of you. The friction built, the pace driving forward and drawing the pressure up, leaving you malleable and aching for release. But somehow, wanting it to last as long as possible. 

When the pleasure spooled tighter and tighter, every breath came short, coming fast and shorter. Until finally with one long, breathy whimper of an exhale, release washed over you, crashing like a wave. His name slipped out of your mouth, some deep, instinctual part of your brain keeping you present enough to utter it, still pulsing around him, shaking. 

And that brought him there, a little broken sound falling from his lips. Hips snapping, driving just the slightest bit further until he groaned into the side of your neck, spilling inside you. After a moment, the stillness settled between the two of you, heavy and thick. There was no actual sound other than ragged breathing. 

You stared at the ceiling, trembling and a bit boneless, wholly dumbfounded and satisfied. Then, with every ounce of energy left, you sat up, placing a hand on his chest.

“You okay?” 

A rush flooded through you at his question, and you struggled to make sense - to be logical and reasonable. 

“Yeah,” you said quickly, “I just. I…” What was the right wording? You trailed off, eyes focused somewhere beyond him. Struggling, you kept your eyes away. How could you possibly articulate the warmth that had settled over you, the lift in your confusion that had been gnawing at you until this moment? How could you explain feelings that make no real sense? 

“I feel at peace.” A near whisper because your words made it tangible, whatever it was. And really, you did feel lighter. It was as if something weighing on your shoulders had lifted in a way that wasn’t just because of the act that had been performed. 

“Really?” A sharp inhale of his breath. 

You nodded, reaching out to hold his face and running your thumbs along his cheekbones. Father Sylus slowly returned the nod, a tentative but wonderful, hopeful smile quirking up his lips—something bright and genuine, untouched by bitterness or remorse.

Serenity had sunken in with a comforting familiarity. Settling inside, like the feeling of returning home. Like the truth had opened its door. Acceptance and serenity. Understanding. Clarity, even. The knowledge you weren’t as broken or faulty as you thought. 

A moment passed, no words spoken. Then, still breathless and maybe a bit disbelieving, Father Sylus reached out and traced a cross on your brow with his thumb. 

“Did you just -” You blinked, a bit indignant as you huffed. “Did you just…bless me?”

He looked a bit sheepish, hands resting on your shoulders, thumbs rubbing gentle circles along your collarbone. “Guess I did.” With a slight chuckle, he leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. 

Tag list: @celestialforce, @readerxyourbabe, @babyx91

[voxmortuus]

Please could you do Will Graham x fem reader where she's kidnapped by him but he treats her so well? Like he is madly in love w her and even tho she doesn't like being kidnapped, she accepts her reality and starts to get along well with Will? And he's happy because maybe she can start feeling the same that him.

Smut and fluffy/angsty please! I love your work

►PAIRING: Will Graham X F!Reader ►UNIVERSE: Hannibal ►WORDS: 1.1k ►SUMMARY/PROMPT: See Above. ►SONG INSPIRATION: Obsessed by Elle Lexxa ►TRIGGER WARNINGS: Angsty Reader | Fluffy Will | Unprotected Vaginal Penetration | Acceptance of situation - Stockholm Syndrome | I may be missing some, but you get a general idea, so please proceed with caution if there is anything in there that is overly triggering please let me know politely and I will make sure it is added to the list. ►NOTE: Hello Anon Requester and Reader. So in a previous post I had stated I will no longer be taking on Hannibal and Hannibal character requests until further notice. However, this request would finish up my series of Obsession. So for you and for the sake of finishing my series, I will fill this request and make it my third and final part of Obsession. You can read part one and part two in the links next to the masterlist. Sorry if this isn't what you expected, or had envisioned yourself, I apologize. But I hope you enjoyed my vision. ►IMAGE & DIVIDER CREDIT: @nyxvuxoa ►My Master Masterlist | Hannibal Masterlist | Obsession Pt. 1 Obsession Pt. 2

You were just as lost then as you are now. You had no idea what was happening, but you were feeling it. You were feeling it deep, this sense of acceptance over everything. Maybe Will wasn't so bad, maybe there was good to him, after all, you never wanted for anything, you never needed anything, and anything you ever desired besides escaping you've gotten. The way you take your toast with a little extra jam on the bottom corner for your first bite, or how you take your coffee with a little pinch of cinnamon in the grinds before brewing. He took note of all of this, and you never felt unsafe with him. He never hurt you. All he's ever wanted was to love you, and for you to love him and here you are questioning the very same thing.

Knocking at your door he peeks in and looks at you with such a kind loving smile. "Good morning. How did you sleep?" He asks you.

Nodding you give a small smile tucking some hair away from your face. "I slept alright, thank you. Coffee? Maybe I can, I don't know, join you for breakfast this time instead of eating in here? The room is starting to smell like breakfast lunch and dinner." You give a small smile and a soft chuckle.

Will's eyes light up and he looks over you and with an eager nod he looked over you and gave you a genuine loving smile. Swallowing your pride, you give him a smile back and search his face. He seemed kind, caring even. You didn't want to judge but it was like you couldn't help it. He kidnapped you after all, but there was just something so soft and somber behind his eyes. You could feel that he could really do damage if he chose to, but he didn't. He didn't hurt you; he didn't want to. He's been nothing short of sweet with you.

You reach for him and look over him and give him a sweet smile and he takes your hand and kisses your hand gently before he unlocks your ankle from the chain and leads you to the kitchen. Sitting you down he smiles.

"Coffee? What would you like for breakfast?" He asked.

"Coffee sounds perfect. Breakfast... blueberry pancakes? With sausage on the side and an egg?" You ask with a small smile. "I can help if you'd like." You offer.

Looking at you he tilts his head and smiles nodding. "I'd like that."

Making your way over to the counter, it felt good to stretch your legs and do something other than reading, or sketching, even pacing your room was growing exhausting. You would attempt to see if he can take you out back to his beautiful garden later. But right now. Right now, you just wanted to enjoy doing something different after what seemed like days.

Taking a moment to watch him, you feel this urge to reach out and touch him. Looking up at him you smile. He looks over you, but it was this urge to reach out a little more. Pushing past, you start to realize a little more about him that was deeper, it was a deeper acceptance of things, you realize you're really not going anywhere.

"I want you to make love to me Will..." You state, almost hesitant, but genuine. "In your bed..." you add.

He stops and looks at you, tilting his head, a little concerned, but there was something in your eyes that spoke truth. He knew what this was, but he was also blinded by his own wants, needs, and desires. His utter infatuation with you.

He pulls you close and kisses you deeply. In a fever you wrap your arms around him and pull him even closer, your hands in his hair. Bending slightly, he picks you up, wrapping your legs around him as he takes you to his room.

Laying you upon his bed he looks over you as you toss your night shirt to the side and you sit up, reaching forward and pull at his pajama pants as he strips his shirt off and tosses it to the side. Dropping his pants, he scoots you further up on the bed, so your head rests on the pillows.

"Are you sure?" He asks. The first time he's asked for consent, but you know what, you were willing this time.

You look at him and nod. "I'm sure." you whisper as you press your lips to his and pull him closer.

Pressing your hips up toward him, you feel his member against your flesh, and you let out a soft whimper and a heavy breath. The kiss deepens. Feeling him stiffen against your warm, damp, needing core you whimper again and roll your hips against the stiffing flesh and with a small adjustment he slips his member between your heavenly folds, and he lets out a groan.

Feeling the way he stretches you, you let out a soft moaning whimper as you arch into him, your nails rake across his back up to his shoulders. His lips press against yours in a small fit of fever. With each thrust the grunts and groans matched.

He made your body feel hot, tingly, wanted even. Why did you not see this before? Maybe it was because it wasn't under your terms, but now, now this was your terms and it felt different. You could get more used to this than what you are now.

The roll of your hips matched the press of his in perfect unison, the moans from your lips bounced off the walls and it only fueled him even more. The way he filled you caused you to want more. You were absolutely lost in this moment, craving more you widen your hips and lose yourself completely to him.

While the act itself was intoxicating, what fueled you more was feeling that pining for a finish, feeling it swell within your core you clench your legs around him pulling him deeper into you. Letting out a seductive lustful scream in raw pleasure you feel this orgasm consume you. But it was when you felt him press deeper into you releasing his hot ribbons of seed, feeling them coat your walls you let out another trembling fluttering moan that fills the room.

After a few moments you both look at each other and you smile a somber calm loving smile. "Breakfast?" you ask.

With a chuckle he nods and carries you to the kitchen, setting you on the counter, his seed oozing from you as he smirks. It was this moment you realize that this man, you were going to enjoy the company of a little more than before. This moment right here that he knew you were going to be with him forever.

[wingwaver]

A few tips for new Tumblr users wanting to write here

Yo if you're here from Reddit or Twitter or some other site and just wanted to give this a shot you may have seen some blogs that are dedicated to writing headcanons or short fics or even original works for their own OCs and you may be thinking "hey I wanna give that a shot! I like to write!" then I have some tips to make it easier on you and people who see your content.

1. First off, if you're writing a pretty long piece the you should probably put it under a read more, it'll look like this on mobile

and this on desktop

or you can write :readmore: on a line by itself and press enter.

2. Now if you're gonna write for a whole bunch of different fandoms and you wanna make a master list then I suggest making an actual list with the fandoms you write for and then making more lists with the actual content as a you go along because you can only have 100 links in one post (I know that sounds like a lot but as someone who has around 300 Transformers things written trust me you fill up a post quicker than you expect, especially if you take requests from other people). The way I typically do it is like this

The first pic is the MASTER master list that lists everything I write for and when they're underlined like that it means they're links. The second pic is after clicking the G1 link, it's a separate post that has the actual fics and headcanon links. Note the 6/100 in the tags, this is how I keep up with how many things I've added. You can of course just use the numbers options from here

or just number them manually from your keyboard like I'm doing with this post. Adding links has no barring on what else you add to the post so you can add yourself some fancy header or divider pics if you want.

3. Adding links! Links can look like this https://www.tumblr.com/wingwaver/721887224846778368/test-post-for-reasons?source=share or like this https://wingwaver.tumblr.com/post/721887224846778368/test-post-for-reasons depending on whether you're linking from mobile or desktop/browser Just highlight the text you wanna add a link to and a the little chain will move to the end, click it and paste your url you want to link to and press add link, then press post/save draft/save (whatever the blue button says)

Now you've successfully linked a post to another post!

4. Tagging! To get your fics and headcanons seen to build an audience you usually wanna tag the stuff correctly. If you're posting a fic about Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney then you'll tag it with #Ace Attorney, #Miles Edgeworth, and #Phoenix Wright in the tags area. But it's also a good idea to mention if it's a ship or general fic in the tags too. If so then putting ship names and #Miles Edgeworth x Phoenix Wright and #Miles Edgeworth/Phoenix Wright in the tags will help everyone know this is a ship fic. Tagging with characters or fandoms that aren't apart of the fic just clogs the tags for people looking for content of said characters and fandoms so it's very looked down on here and will likely get some of your stuff reported for spam so only use the relevant tags. Also tagging for triggers can be tricky here because of how fucky tumblr is but please don't tag censor tags. Tagging things like #a**** or #a*use or even #abu$e doesn't work here because people who have #abuse blacklisted will be able to see this content because it wasn't tagged properly. Also if you're writing for OCs or reader inserts it's common courtesy to tag those appropriately too. Someone looking for a reader insert may not want to read an OC and vice versa. Also many people filter those out so try to add tags like #x reader, #*fandom name* x reader, and #*character name* x reader for easier filtering. Also people cruise those tags too so it'll help people who fo want to read that content find your stuff!

[shepherds-of-haven]

Happy New Year, everyone! I thought it would be fun to do a little retrospective on the game's progress over the last year... Shepherds of Haven has grown so much from the little demo I posted in January 2018, and it continues to steadily build and flourish in so many different and exciting ways! Here's a look at just some of the things we accomplished in 2023!

I added 143,151 words to the game (2.5 main chapters, 8 new character interludes) in 2023: the equivalent of writing the longest Lord of the Rings book in one year! We also broke our huge 1 million word milestone—without including code—meaning Shepherds of Haven is now officially twice as long as War and Peace, and almost as long as the entire 7-book Harry Potter series... and all in a single game!

A lot goes into game creation behind the scenes, including the coordination and creation of visual assets for the game—like character cards, codex entries, maps, portraits, and backgrounds—fun stuff for the fans (like the MC info template we created), and songs for the official soundtrack. As the game creeps slowly and determinedly towards its initial completion, that also means learning new things as a solo developer to prepare for the future, like learning to build an official website, researching business and tax practices, and beginning to think about how to conduct testing, publishing, and marketing down the road. Much of what I enumerate here hasn't been made public yet and will continue to cook in the background for a while, but I'm very proud of the work I've gotten done this year and will be excited to unveil more in the future!

And of course, for even more Shepherds of Haven content, I've added and completed even more stories for our little library on Patreon (which also has sizable word count at this point): The Bridge of Bones (a Trouble and Riel murder mystery), O Happy Dagger (a dark adventure featuring Briony, Chase, and Red), and The Hunt (a wild tale involving Tallys, Halek, Shery, and new kinds of spirits, fey magic, and Elves) were all serial stories completed in 2023, while Some Kind of Virus is a cyberpunk zombie apocalypse AU that will continue to be updated with new chapters monthly.

A full list of the Shepherd short stories and serial novellas (with links) can be viewed here!

I hope you enjoyed this session of Shepherds of Haven Wrapped! Honestly, this doesn't actually cover everything I've been working on, but some things can't be packaged and listed out neatly, or otherwise won't seem very interesting to anyone else but me! 😂 As we inch through Chapter 9 and get more interludes done (only a few more main chapters to go), I'm hopeful that I'll also be able to find time to work on my next novel, but we'll see if the Shepherds schedule ends up ramping up or settling down as we work steadily towards finishing the main story!

One important thing before wrapping up is to acknowledge your guys' role in this wonderful, wild journey. I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you for your invaluable contributions to the development of Shepherds of Haven. Whether you took the time to share links to the game, supported its growth on Discord or Patreon, left encouraging messages or asked interesting questions, reported bugs, or showcased your remarkable works of fanfiction or fanart, I am sincerely thankful for the unwavering support from this amazing community! Your collective efforts have played a pivotal role in shaping the world of the game into what it is today. Words cannot adequately convey my gratitude for your support, and I am truly blessed to have such a passionate community surrounding this project.

As we step into 2024, I am filled with anticipation for the developments awaiting Shepherds of Haven. Big things are on the horizon, and I am so excited to share these experiences with you! Thank you for being an integral part of this journey, and here's to the continued growth of our shared little world. Cheers to 2024—may it be a year filled with creativity, adventure, and joy! 🎊

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

The Honeymoon Is Over

Alrighty! Chapter 10 of Dating App is here! Only reason it is done so quickly is cause it was mostly written. Also fair warning, I might not be posting as much in the coming months. I'm working more on my novel and starting a Masters in August. So, I might not have as much time for my fanfictions.

Also there are now too many chapters and I really can't be bothered to link all the chapters, but they're all linked on my Masterlist so head over there for the other chapters (Sorry guys). And as always feel free to let me know if there is a scene you would love to see with Chica and Rafael, or Chica and one of the other guys! Also let me know if you wanna be added to the tag list.

Also this is really where the timeline no longer exists. Cause obviously October Surprise happens in Season 15 and Carisi doesn't exist in season 15 but you know, this is fanfiction and I have the power....

Warnings: Sexual content, harassment (minor), Rafael being an ass, primal/prey (minor), pet names. I think I got everything but let me know.

Master List

Prompt List

Tag List: @pear-1206

2 Months Later

“Wait, wait,” you waved your hand. “Isn’t he a friend from when you were a kid?” Rafael nodded, the tense look on his face not leaving. “Oh, Rafi I am so sorry. This must be so hard for you.”

“Thank you,” he muttered still looking at the evidence Liv had given him. It looked like there was a lot of evidence against Alex Munoz, and it also looked like potentially he was using their other friend for his benefit.

“Is there anything I can do?” you asked twisting your fingers together. You had seen Rafael upset with a case before but it was nothing like this. He had been so…sad and angry since it started.

“No,” he muttered again not even looking up at you. You bit your lip, trying not to take it personally, this was a tough case for him and he was undoubtedly under a lot of pressure. But the illogical part of your brain didn’t understand that. You had dealt a little with your rejection sensitivity, but it was still difficult to handle when a person’s mood changed around you.

“I’ll make you some tea,” you whispered, taking one last look at his hunched shoulders before heading to the kitchen.

Reaching for the kettle you filled it up, wondering if maybe you should make him some coffee instead. He had been having a lot of late nights lately, becoming more and more direct, and even a little dismissive of you, so you settled on tea to at least try and coax him into sleeping at some point tonight. You wondered if maybe you should leave for the night after making his tea, you were clearly in the way and you didn’t want to bother him either. Maybe you could message Liv and Amanda, they might be able to help you to help him. They’d both known him for longer.

Rather robotically you went through the motions of making him his tea. Including making a little plate together with some biscuits you had baked together for him to snack on. Picking up the plate and the cup you slowly wondered back to his office, pausing at the doorway to try and gauge his mood. His shoulders where still hunched and tense, he was definitely clenching his jaw from the look of things. Quietly, then. And then you would leave.

You found a spot that was clear of paperwork and away from the risk of spilling on anything but in his line of sight. You resisted the urge to whisper to him, to wrap your arms around his shoulder and press a kiss to his temple. You weren’t sure how such actions would be taken at the moment. You had never really had to deal with Rafael when he got into a mood like this, you knew that this was something that would potentially come up in your relationship but you had just thought you might somehow know how to handle it. But now? Now that the moment was actually here you were not sure. Since this case had broken, Rafael had been different. Even with hard cases in the past he had never gotten like this, you still knew you could interrupt him and demand a cuddle or a kiss. But right now, right now you didn’t think that would be appreciated by him. Although you didn’t want to interrupt him, you also didn’t want to just leave without saying anything. In case that worried him.

“I’ll head home Rafi, please try and get some sleep,” you tried to force your voice to be controlled and normal but it didn’t quite come out that way. It was shaky and quiet.

“Sure,” Rafael nodded. He didn’t even look up. Breathing deeply, you just bit your lip and left. Stopping to pick up your bag and coat, casting one last look at his office doorway before leaving his apartment.

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” you mumbled to yourself, biting at the skin around your thumb. “He’s just stressed with this case that shook up his world. It involves his childhood friend. Liv mentioned he could get like this. Brain this is not a rejection. It’s fine.”

After this case was over you thought it would be a good idea for the two of you to talk. You hadn’t really mentioned that you suffer from rejection sensitivity or that you were unsure how to handle certain moods. Which in hindsight, probably wasn’t ideal considering you were dating a lawyer. It just had never come up before because you knew going in that his hours were going to be insane and he might have to cancel dates, so it never caused your rejection sensitivity to flare up. It was the moods that did it. Being unsure how your presence would be taken.  

You really didn’t want to be alone right now but you also didn’t want to bother anyone, Lily was out of town, Courtney was doing a night shift and Shannon had had a long tiring day so she was already in bed, even though it wasn’t that late. You thought about maybe messaging Liv or Amanda but you figured they were probably just as busy and under pressure as Rafael was and you really didn’t want to bother them.

But almost as if their ears had burnt your phone rung, showing Liv’s contact.

“Hey, funny thing I was just thinking about messaging you,” you smiled into the phone, your tone a little less forced than it had been when you said goodbye to Rafael.

“Great minds think alike,” Liv chuckled. “I wanted to see if you wanted to grab a drink? This case is doing my head in and I could use some company that I haven’t been around all day.”

“Absolutely, I could honestly use a drink as well,” you agreed.

“Want me to come by Rafael’s to pick you up?”

“I just left Rafael’s actually, I’m walking to the subway, so I can meet you at our usual place?” you suggested.

“You left? Is everything okay?”

“I think I’d rather tell you in person, and you can tell me all about your day as well,” you informed her.

“Sounds good, if I get there first, I’ll order drinks,” Liv agreed easily.

“Alright sounds good, I’ll see you soon.”

You picked up the pace now that you had somewhere to be. You hoped it wouldn’t be awkward for Liv if you brought up Rafael’s mood and asked for help.

--

Liv was sitting in your usual spot by the time you got to your usual bar. She had two glasses of red wine and a bowl of chips sitting in-front of her. You beelined over to her, smiling in greeting as you took a seat, and a big mouthful of wine.

 “Hi, sorry, didn’t realise just how much I needed that,” you grinned a little sheepishly.

“Sounds like it, you finally meet grouchy Rafael?”

“Oh, I meet him in the three weeks where we couldn’t meet up when we first started dating,” you shook your head. “This Rafael is something else entirely. I don’t think he even heard me when I said I was leaving. He has barely looked at me the past few days, I feel a little like I am walking on eggshells around him which I didn’t get with grouchy Rafi, there I knew I could still pester him and it would be fine because he looked at me and I could see past the grouchiness.”

“He hasn’t gotten angry with you, has he?” Liv asked brows furrowed.

“No, but I sort wish he would so I would at least know if I was annoying him,” you shrugged. “Instead, he just mutters his answers and doesn’t really look at me, I don’t even know if he listens to me. I know that this case is different to every other case he has handled, since it involves his old friend but…I was prepared for the late nights and the missed dates but this…I wasn’t prepared for this and that’s…well…I’m not handling it.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Liv reached out grabbing your hand. “Have you tried to talk to him?”

“No…and I know that’s silly, we’ve been dating for six months now but, can I tell you something?”

“Of course,” Liv assured you.

“I have rejection sensitivity, and normally I’m pretty good at handling it,” you explained trying to get everything out in a rush, you never had to tell anyone this before besides your shrink. “Cause, I knew going into dating Rafael he worked long hours, so he might have to reschedule dates or be late to them, so I can handle that. I just wasn’t prepared for the kind of mood he is in where I’m unsure if I can be around him, or if I can say something. I just…logically I know that it’s fine but the thing is my logical brain isn’t what is in charge right now.”

“He doesn’t know?” she asked, sipping her wine.

“No, it’s never come up,” you shrugged. “I guess the “honey moon” phase of our relationship is about to come to an end.” You tried to joke.

“Do you want my advice?” Liv asked.

“Sure, and then we can talk about your day,” you offered, smiling over your wine glass. “You’ve known him for a few years, I was tempted to ask you but I didn’t want to make things awkward.”

“You wouldn’t, you’re my friend as well,” Liv assured you, reaching out to take a chip. “Alright the thing with Rafi is, he doesn’t always realise that he is being a bit of a dick. Even if this case is difficult for him, he shouldn’t be acting like you aren’t there. My suggestion is to tell him, and don’t back down when he gets defensive. He’s stubborn but he also cares deeply for you.”

“How defensive will he get? I’m not really good at conflict with people I care about,” you admitted.

“Pretty defensive,” Liv said honestly. “He can definitely be an ass I won’t lie about that; we have had plenty of fights since we met, but look just be honest and most importantly, don’t let him be an ass. Call him out on it and stand your ground, he’ll eventually realise you are right and apologise. That is the good thing about him, he doesn’t ignore the facts and doesn’t pretend that everything is fine after he acts like an ass.”

“Okay I can totally do that,” you nodded, sipping on your wine before munching on a chip. “I could just pretend he’s an obnoxious person in the library.”

“That could definitely work, Lily mentioned that you can be quite scary when you turn on your librarian voice,” Liv laughed a little.

“Alright, that’s my little bit for the night,” you sighed, propping your chin on your fist. “How’s your day?”

“Shitty, Nick and Rafael got into a bit of tiff over this, and the fact that Rafael told Alex that we were investigating him and had evidence isn’t great which also incensed Nick,” Liv groaned. “And there’s something going on with Amanda and Carisi, which is making it awkward in the office, and giving Nick something else to have an issue with.”

“You know your squad has enough drama to be a tv show,” you pondered. “I bet Finn is somehow enjoying this, isn’t he?”

“You’ve known him two months and you already know him so well,” Liv nodded. “And I could definitely do without the drama, but I do love all of them. Even when they’re being ridiculous.”

“I see why you needed to be away from them,” you finished the wine in your glass. “Want another one?”

“Yes, and another bowl of chips I think,” Liv nodded. “Thank you!”

You grinned getting up to go and order, your night started out terrible but it looked like it would end better. You smiled at the bartender when he placed the two glasses of wine in-front of you, telling you that the chips would be over to your table in a moment.

“I’ll pay for those,” a voice interrupted you before you could hand over your card. You turned to your left seeing a tall man in a suit smiling at you.

“No thanks,” you handed your card over, before moving the glasses a little closer to you.

“Oh, come on, a pretty lady like you shouldn’t have to pay for drinks,” he insisted moving closer to you.

“This pretty lady is happy to pay for her own drinks,” you assured him, trying to keep your tone even, wishing the bartender would hurry up. Conflict with strangers was something you could handle but you’d rather not cause a scene.

“No need to be so aggressive,” and there goes the tone change. “I was just trying be nice.”

You bit your tongue deciding to ignore him, smiling gratefully at the bartender when he came back with your card. You tucked into your pocket and picked up the glasses of wine, high tailing it back to Liv and away from the stranger at the bar. You had just managed to make it there and sat the glasses on the table when you noticed Liv’s face had grown tense.

“Liv?” you asked.

“Can we help you?” okay you had never heard that tone of voice from her before. It was fierce.

“Yeah, you can explain why your friend is such a bitch,” you spun around to see the guy from the bar standing right behind you. The look on his face had your instincts screaming for you to get away from him or fight him.

“Excuse me?” you demanded, the fight him instincts winning out.

“I was trying to be nice and pay for your drinks, and you were aggressive,” the guy seemed to be building up for a rant.

“You need to leave, now,” Liv demanded standing up, pushing her blazer to the side so her badge was visible. “And how about you don’t act like this towards women when they turn down your offer to pay for drinks.”

The man looked at Liv, eyeing her a little as if deciding this was worth potentially getting arrested. He glared at her and you before storming off.

“Okay, not gonna lie, that was kinda hot,” you gushed as she turned back to you. “I felt so safe just then. Like you were my knight with a shining badge.”

“Thanks,” she said lips quirking up a little in a smirk as she took her seat again. “I’ll gladly be your knight with a shining badge anytime. Although, you could also tell Rafael about this, watch him get all heated and go into lawyer mode, because that is also very hot.”

“I have wanted to see him in court but he doesn’t want me getting anywhere near the cases you guys have to deal with,” you shrugged.

“I can’t say I disagree with him, they do get quite bad,” Liv agreed. “But there are moments where I think you could watch; I’ll bring you sometime.”

“He’ll hate that,”

“Yeah, but I figure he probably deserves it,”

You giggled a little, so glad to have a friend like Liv. You raised your wine glass wiggling your eyebrows at her.

“To amazing friends,” you cheered.

“And to annoying their boyfriends!”

You cheered as you clinked your glasses together, Liv laughing more than she had all day.

--

You breathed deeply raising your hand to knock at Rafael’s door. Doing this after having three glasses of wine in a small amount of time was probably not a good idea but Liv encouraged you, saying that maybe having some liquid courage would help. And you couldn’t argue with that.

“What?” Rafael opened the door, glare firmly in place before it got replaced with a look of shock. “Chica?”

“Hey, um, can I come in?” you asked rocking a little on your feet.

“Sure, I didn’t know you had left,” he muttered looking a little guilty which was a nice change from the angry look on his face from earlier. Though it did hurt a bit to know that he truly didn’t listen to you or even notice that you weren’t in his apartment.

“Yeah, I kinda thought that,” you told him. “And is actually what I wanted to talk to you.”

“Can it wait? I-”

“No,” You interrupted him a little aggressively. “Because this is important, and it is about us. So, I hope you think it is important enough to take time out of work to talk about it.”

He looked stunned by your tone and the words you used, his mouth opening a little before it clamped shut, his face closing off and going blank. That face that you had gotten a little to use to seeing in the past few days, and you hated it. It made your blood boil now to see it when you asked to speak with him. Alright, from what Liv had said you guessed he was going to be defensive from the start but you would stand your ground.

“Of course, we are important,” he started. “But right now this case-”

“Is not more important than the fact that you have ignored me for the past three days,” you stated. “You have barely looked at me, you haven’t listened to me, which is evident since I told you I was leaving after I left the cup of tea and biscuits on your desk hours ago, and you said “sure”.”

“I-”

“I’m not done,” you interrupted him again holding your hand up. You had practiced what you wanted to say in the car ride over here, Liv listening as you stumbled over your words before you got firm in what you wanted to say. Though watching as the blank look on his face turned a little angry didn’t help but that wine was enough to override your issue with conflict. “You have been an ass, we’re partners, and I am here, and I want to help you but you have closed yourself off, which if that is what you need to do then fine but you can’t completely shut me out of your life. You can’t ignore me for days. You need to communicate what you need and how you are feeling.” You were about to add more but it seemed Rafael had had enough.

“I’ve been an ass really?” he scoffed. “Well, excuse me for needing to focus on this case. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but this is personal. My childhood friend is being investigated. I can’t cater to your every whim.”

 “Cater? I don’t need you to-” this time you cut yourself off. Alright you would not turn this into a full-blown argument, you needed to get this back on track. “I understand that this case is important and personal on a level that no other case has been, I am not trying to argue that and I am not trying to diminish how you feel about it, but the fact is you haven’t spoken to me about it, you haven’t told me how it affects you, and your current mood makes me feel like I can’t be here, that if I were to so much as touch you or talk to you, you would get angry with me. Which is not something that has ever happened before.”

“I’ve spoken to you,” Rafael crossed his arms.

“No, you haven’t,” you shook your head. “Even with past difficult cases I have not felt like I was walking on eggshells. You have been an ass.” Liv said to not back down on the fact that he is an ass, so you planned to end nearly every sentence with the fact.

“Well, that’s not my fault,” Rafael insisted.

“Are you kidding me?” you shouted, finely losing it. “Did you listen to anything I just said?!”

“Yes, I was listening,” he snarked, arms uncrossing. If you hadn’t gotten worked up you might have noticed that his eyes were softening even if his voice wasn’t.

“God you are such an ass!” you cried voice breaking a little as your eyes started to fill with tears, this was one of the reasons you hated conflict with those you cared about. It resulted in tears; you were an angry crier. “I literally said you had been ignoring me and hadn’t looked at me properly in three fucking days! How is that not your fault?!”

“I really haven’t spoken to you in three days?” he asked, guilt starting to break through at the sound of your voice breaking.

“No, not really,” you whispered. “You muttered mostly one-word answers at me and sometimes you just grunted at me.”

“Or looked at you?”

“At first you did, but then you just looked at me for a second before looking back at the case notes and eventually never at all,”

“Shit, I’m an ass,” Rafael rubbed his face.

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to tell you that,” you chuckled wetly.

“I am definitely an ass, whatever I have going on with work is not an excuse for treating you so horribly,” he stated walking towards you but stopped just before he got within your space, opening his arms. “I am so sorry Carino. I can’t say it won’t happen again but I will say that I will work on noticing it and stopping it and listening to you when you call me out on it.”

“Thank you,” you smiled wiping at the tears as you stepped into his open arms wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “I promise to not let you get away with it for so long.”

“Good,” he whispered wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you close to him. “Thank you, for standing your ground.”

“Not gonna lie, it was tough, the wine I hold with Liv helped,” you confessed. “I don’t do well with conflict involving people I care about.”

“I do remember you mentioning something about that,” he nodded kissing your forehead.

“Since we are in a confessing all truth kinda conversation there is something else I need to tell you,” you said biting your lip. “I have rejection sensitivity.”

“Oh,” Rafael seemed a little unsure how to respond to that. “Sorry, what does that mean exactly?”

“For me it is more connected to people’s moods, sometimes if plans get cancelled last minute that can affect me but only if I am unaware it’s a possibility,” you explained. “With us, the plans aren’t too much of a big deal because I knew going into this relationship that it was a possibility so that’s fine. But if a person’s mood changes and I can’t pinpoint exactly why and if that mood is somewhat directed at me, I start to worry that I have done something, that the person is mad with me and all the bad scenarios start going through my head, like the person hates me.”

“Ah,” he nodded, kissing your forehead again. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I should have told you sooner but I thought I had a better handle on it and I, I just find it difficult to talk about, cause a few people in the past haven’t taken it seriously,” you stroked the back of his neck.

“I want you to know that you can tell me anything, and that even if I get defensive you are probably in the right and you should stand your ground,” Rafael grinned cheekily at you, causing you to roll your eyes a little, before that grin turned into a frown of confusion. “Wait, you had wine with Liv tonight?”

“Hm oh yeah, she called me after I left here and we had some wine and talked about our days,” you nodded, before your lips twitched, being really tempted to bring up the guy from the bar and honestly your friends said that makeup sex was the best, so you wanted to see if you could bring out full lawyer, protective boyfriend for it.

“Chica? What’s that look for?” Rafael tapped your hips with his fingers.

“Oh, well, while I was buying the next round this guy asked to pay for them,” you shrugged, biting your lip hard to stop yourself from grinning at the look that took over Rafael’s face. It looked like his eye was a second away from twitching, and you were a little worried about his teeth from how hard he was clenching his jaw.

“Really?” he ground out.

“Hm, I said no, and then he was all like a pretty lady shouldn’t buy her own drinks,” you nodded, innocently looking up at him from under your lashes as Rafael’s hands tightened on your hips.

“He called you a pretty lady?”

“Yep, I then told him that this pretty lady can drink buy her own drinks,” you continued. “He didn’t like that. Called me aggressive, and then he followed me back to the table where Liv was and called me a bitch.”

“He. Did. What?” oh he was seething now; this was a much different kind of anger than what he had moments before. “What was his name?”

“Called me a bitch and said I was aggressive for turning him down,” you shrugged, deciding to continue pressing his buttons. “Liv went all badass cop and it was kind of hot. And I didn’t take the time to get his name.”

You had the pleasure of seeing Rafael go from furious to confused to amused and back to furious. It was a little like whiplash but also really amusing.

“First, I’m getting Finn and Amaro to get the security footage from that bar and then run facial recognition to get the name of that bastard,” Rafael told you. “Second, I am then going to get a warrant for his arrest.”

“Rafi!” you scolded.

“Hush, not done,” Rafael tapped your nose before grabbing your hip again. “Thirdly, I’m going to ruin that man’s life. And finally, you’re not wrong Liv in full cop mode is rather hot.”

“She said the same thing about you in lawyer mode,” you mused. “Also, Rafi, you can’t ruin that guys life just because he was an arse who can’t take rejection.”

“I certainly can, I’m an ADA,” he countered. “And my best friend is a Sargant in the NYPD, and my friends are all cops, who adore you and would most likely help me with my plan.” 

“That I believe would be considered an abuse of power,” you pointed out drumming your fingers on his shoulders as you moved your hands down to be placed on his chest.

“I believe I don’t care,” he shrugged. “And once the judge meets you and you charm them, they won’t care either.”

“You know you’re putting a lot of power on my ability to charm people,”

“Chica, you got me to relent and admit I was an ass, quicker than anyone else,” Rafael told you as he slowly walked you backwards until your back hit the wall, his green eyes simmering with heat. “And that is including my mother.”

“Okay, that has to be bullshit,”

“Nope,” he said distractedly, as he eyes traced your face before trailing down to your neck. “Now, I do believe make up sex is traditional for couples who just fought.”

“Is that right?” you asked, slowly grinning as you relaxed against the wall and lifted your head a little to show off your neck, and pushing out your chest to draw attention to your cleavage.

“Chica,” he drawled. “Did you happen to mention that guy from the bar on purpose?”

“I would never,” you innocently claimed.

“Uh-huh, some reason I don’t believe you,” Rafael whispered dropping his lips to your neck. “But I’ll let it go.” He pressed kisses up and down your neck, peppering them along your collar bone and the top of your shoulder before bringing his lips back to hover over yours. “I’ll warn you though, I have a desire to mark you more than normal. Is that alright?”

“Fuck yes, Rafi,” you gasped as you felt a flare of desire burn low in your gut. Turns out turning on protective, lawyer boyfriend mode resulted in primal Rafael. And that was something you were a-okay with. “Mark me as yours.”

“Good. Girl.” He breathed as his teeth latched onto the crook of your neck, his tongue quickly running over the mark to sooth it followed by a press of his lips as he continued to suck on it.

You whimpered, grabbing onto him and lifting one of your legs to wrap around his hip and draw him closer. His hands stayed on your hips, holding them tightly almost enough to leave marks. But even with the more aggressive way he was marking you, there was barely any pain and what pain there was only added to the pleasure that was flowing through your body. This was something that the two of you had worked out early on in your relationship, you liked a little pain to be mixed in with your pleasure, especially if it was pain that came from markings.  

“I’m going to be so marked tomorrow,” you told him.

“Hm, not just tomorrow but the next day and the next day,” Rafael growled against your neck as he moved across to your other side to make an identical mark there.

“Ah, shit,” you moaned, hips rolling against his, rubbing against his slowly hardening dick. Grinning when you heard him groan against the mark he was currently making near your collar bone.

“Chica, keep doing that, roll your hips just like that,” he ordered, his hand moving down to grip the thigh of the leg hooked over his hip, squeezing it in time with the roll of your hips. He wanted there to be slight bruises on your thigh in the shape of his hand.

“Rafi, you better leave a matching mark on my other thigh,” you breathed. “You know I like to match.”

“I know don’t worry,” Rafael mused. “I’ll have plenty of time to mark up your other thigh.”

“Of course, you do love my thighs,” you giggled, gasping when Rafael licked up your throat. “What are you an animal?”

“So, it’s okay for you to lick me but I can’t lick you?” he demanded leaning away from your neck.

“Hush, less snarking more marking,” you ordered. He titled his head to the side, smirking as he gently lowered your leg and walked away from you, the lose grip you had on his shoulders allowing him. “Hey! Thought we were having makeup sex?” you pouted at him.

“Oh, we will, I just had an idea,” he stated hungry eyes raking up and down your body. You flushed, whole body going warm as arousal settled low in your gut.

“What is it?” you said shakily, legs going weak. The look on his face was near feral as his eyes dragged back to yours, your mouth opened a little as you nearly panted.

“Run.” He raised an eyebrow in a slight question.

“Green.”

“Then, run little bunny.”

Giggling you pushed away from the wall turning to run through the apartment, circling around the couch and running towards the bedroom. Just as you crossed the threshold you felt arms wrap around your waist tugging you tight to the body behind you.

“Got you little bunny,” Rafael’s voice purred in your ear. “Now you’re mine to with as I please.”

“Oh, such a shame,” you giggled.

Rafael licked a line up your neck before releasing you, his hands tugging on your shirt throwing it to the side before he spun you around by your hips.

“Finish undressing and then get on the bed on all fours,” he ordered in a rough voice.  

You whimpered softly as you obeyed him, your body shivering a little in anticipation as you positioned yourself on the bed.

“Keep your eyes forward, you aren’t allowed you touch yourself or me,” Rafael instructed. “It’s up to me if you cum tonight.”

“Yes sir.”

--

Two Days Later

“Is this in anyway about us?” you paused just before the door to Rafael’s office. The concern you had for him had only grown after your conversation a few days ago. Since he mentioned that he probably wouldn’t be home you decided to make him his favourite meal and bring it to his office. You had an idea of who that voice belonged to, and your heart picked up, since your conversation he tried to be better with not blocking you out, and that included opening up about everything.

“Yelina,” you knew that tone. That was his, ‘I am trying to remain civil but it is trying’ tone. You narrowed your eyes; you knew who Yelina was and you did not like her one little bit. You always tried to be nice to people but her, ooh when Rafael told you the story you wanted to punch her in the throat. And that feeling was something new. And right now, she was in Rafael’s office most likely trying to make Rafael feel guilty over what her creep of a husband has been doing.

“Papi, I know-” you tuned out what else she was saying as you saw red, she was not trying to flirt with him or imply that he has feelings for her. Hell no.

“Rafi, I brought you some dinner,” you walked right in through that door, right up to his side wrapping your arm around his waist, and under his jacket. “Oh, sorry I didn’t realise you were busy.” You turned and smiled ‘innocently’ at Yelina, your eyes taking her in. You guessed she was pretty, had nothing on Liv, Amanda or your three girls but she was pretty, however, there was something about her body language that just took away from it.

“Chica,” Rafael breathed, his own arm wrapping around your shoulder and holding you close to him as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “It’s fine, I’m happy you’re here.”

“Yeah?” you looked up at him. “Well, good, I made your favourite, bub.”

“Excuse me, sorry we were in the middle of something,” Yelina interrupted.

“Oh, right, I slightly overheard that,” you nodded looking back towards her. You looked her up and down again, eyes narrowing down, you grinned at her. “Sounded like you potentially trying to use the past you have with Rafi to get him to back off from your husband, and what he has been doing.”

“Who do-” she started taking a step towards you.

“No, who do you think you are?” you demanded, pulling away from Rafael. Your face set in a scowl as you stared her down. “You came into Rafael’s office, making demands of him and using your past with him to try and get your way. Never mind the fact that you haven’t contacted him in years, and yeah, I know that because my boyfriend and I talk. That is an incredibly horrible bitchy thing to do. And I also know you were not just about to try and creepy flirt with him, with is a whole other issue that I think you need to sort out.”

“Chica,” Rafael’s voice was amused as he watched you stare down his old flame, he was a little shocked he hadn’t ever seen you like this in the six months you had been dating and it was a little sexy. A bit of turn on to have you defending him. The way you argued with him the other day was different, this anger wasn’t directed at him it was for him.

“So, I suggest you hurry on to your boring little dinner with your horrible husband, while Rafi and I enjoy a lovely romantic night together, because he is such an amazing man,”

“Boyfriend?” Yelina asked her eyes going from you to Rafael.

“Yelina, this is Y/n, my girlfriend,” Rafael finally introduced you to his old friend, stepping up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you back to his chest, resting his chin on your head. You were wearing flat shoes so instead of being around his height you were at the height of his shoulder.

“Rafi, how young is she?” Yelina asked crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

“Old enough, and don’t you dare try to make a comment about this,” your temper that was just a small little fire, grew the longer you talked to this woman.

Yelina sent you a scathing look before looking at Rafael one last time, seeing that she wasn’t going to get anything from him, she stormed out of his office. You extracted yourself from Rafael’s arms and made sure to close and lock the door to his office.

“Chica,” Rafael sighed rubbing his mouth to try and hide the grin that was forming as you turned around to face him again. You pursed your lips, leaning against the door and held the lunch tote bag in-front of you, after removing the scarf you were wearing to hide the dozens of love bites that Rafael left on your neck the other night.

“What?” you pouted. “I made dinner.”

“Yes, you did,” Rafael nodded as he walked towards you, eyes heating at the sight of his marks on you. He took the tote from you, setting it on the ground to the side as he crowded against you. His hands finding their home on the door beside your head. “And you told her to leave.”

“Yes, I did,” you whispered coyly, as you looked up at Rafael, biting your lip. “Was that, okay, I didn’t overstep?”

“You definitely didn’t overstep Carino,” he promised you, leaning down to nibble on your throat over one of his marks. You gasped, hands reaching out to grab hold of his waist as he pressed his body fully against you as he pressed kisses along your jaw.

“Rafi,” you moaned, spreading your legs to allow one of his in-between. You rolled your hips against his thigh, grinding your clit, whimpering a little when he pressed in closer. The outline of his cock pressing again you.  

“Carino, you just did something for me that no-one has ever done,” he whispered against your lips.

“And what was that?”

“Defend me,” he pressed a kiss to your lips. “Claim me.” Another kiss. “And state that I am a better choice than him.” And another kiss. That lingered. His lips pressing harder and harder against yours, as his hips rolled into you. His hands stroked down your side, grabbing your hips to pull you even tighter against him, grinding you against his thigh.  

“Rafael,” you whined breaking again from him. “This is not what I intended when I came over here.”

“Maybe not but watching you get mad at Yelina on my behalf was sexy,” he groaned gripping your chin to keep your eyes locked. “And fuck woman, it was such a turn on.”

“Well, let me just add that to list of things I never thought would turn you on,” you giggled, which turned into a laugh when the hand that was gripping your hip tickled your side.

“You have a list?” he asked, the fingers holding your chin stroking up your cheek and into your hair.

“You don’t?” you countered.

“Touche,” he nodded kissing you again, both hands now holding your face so gently. “Chica, I love you.” His green eyes were a pool of warmth, that stared into yours. “These past six months have been like nothing I could ever imagine. You have brought life and light into my life, and you call me out of my bullshit. I love you.”

“You love me?” you asked, voice shaky as you felt tears form. Your body shivered, butterflies making their home in your stomach.

“Yes, my Corazon,” he nodded leaning his forehead against yours.

“I love you too,” you whispered, hands squeezing his waist. “I have never been as happy as I am every moment I am with you.” You leaned up to kiss his lips, nuzzling his nose.

“My perfect Carino.”

[ilovepinof]

HI! I’m currently making a Dnp Youtube playlist so I can fully introduce them to my mother (since shes going to TIT with me). Do you have any favorites/recommendations??

I’m adding more post hiatus vids since thats the energy we’re mostly getting on tour, but i’ll take anything :]

A silly bonus: The other day I gave her a short rundown of the timeline, and she pauses me and goes “Oh they live together?”, and I said yes expecting her to inquire further but she just went “Very nice.” 😭😭😭 so either shes completely clueless on the dynamic or understood it immediately, but I found that funny.

(I literally saw a big post about this yesterday I wish I could find it but alas I will try to give my best suggestions)

This post can be useful for anyone who has friends/family going to TIT with them that may not know much about Dan and Phil!

This post could also be useful to share with any friends who want to get into Dan and Phil

Feel free to pick and choose, you obviously don't have to watch every single one of these with your TIT buddy.

Category 1: Dan and Phil Lore - There are a few current videos that can give insight into past&present Dan and Phil lore without having to go super duper in-depth with her about everything.

Dan and Phil React to Every Phil is not on fire! #1 - I feel like anyone whos seeing TIT should be aware of Pinof lore but maybe thats just me because...I mean look at my username. I think watching PINOF react #1 is good enough because its the core trilogy and explains their origins well

Are Dan and Phil Connected? - I'd describe this video as taking a ton of shots of Dan and Phil lore rapidly at once, though she wouldn't understand everything she could at least begin to know stuff!

Both Pizza Mukbangs!! Here is mukbang 1 & here is mukbang 2. I feel like these two videos really encompass a lot of what Dan and Phil have gone through in the last few years and lay a good foundation of the tour.

Halloween Baking - SLIME AND SADDNESS CINNAMON ROLLS - Dan and Phil baking is a core part of Dan and Phil content and cannot be missed. This one doubles as a fun activity! You can bake and watch Dan and Phil together! Me and my (non phannie) partner did this and it was so much fun.

Any WDAPTEO - Heres a link to the most recent one

One final option in this category would be either of the dnp react to phan twt videos because it would explain the fans more but I don't feel as if this is necessary.

Category 2: Dan vs Phil - I feel like Dan vs Phil really shows a lot about their individual characters and dynamics. I'd start her off with these videos to get her into the world of Dan and Phil a little. Here are the ones I suggest.

Dan vs Phil IS BACK! Switch Sports

Is Dan smarter than Phil?

Dan vs Phil - FALL GUYS!

PARTIAL KITCHEN REVEAL SHUFFLEBOARD SHOWDOWN!

Category 3: Misc - Videos that I could not fill a full category for but I think would still be good.

This game ended our friendship - Bread and Fred - In a similar way that I feel like Dan vs Phil shows their dynamics well, I think it's important to also show the chaos of their team work. This one was one of my favs I rewatched it so much.

Who is the liar? Dan Phil or Pj - Whats a better way to get to know someone than Dan and Phil with one of their good friends? I highly suggest any Dan Phil Pj Soph video!!

GOLF WITH SLITS - Dan and Phil Play: Golf with Friends #9 - An iconic channel series.

Category 4: (some of) ILOVEPINOF's fav comeback videos - These videos were just my personal favorites. Think of this list as kind of "extra things you could watch" because they're all reallly good videos in my opinion.

Dan and Phil's raging Trombones

Trunk Dexting with Pan and Dhil

Dan and Phil Dress Each Other

Forcing Dan to Watch MORE Tiktok Likes

THE BACHELOR PARTY - Dan and Phil play The Sims 4: Season 2 #5

[edgelessdagger]

🗡 Heya there! Help this dagger stay sharp! 🗡

see the full example art under the cut below, or by going to my blog

commissions are open for these little guys! for a base of just ten dollars you can tell me an animal and archetype and i will draw it for you! yes! do you want to see a mole wizard with a shovel for a staff? you got it! a bison gunslinger? that sounds fun! a cobra monk? i’m sure i can figure that one out! any animal will do. any animal. get as silly with it as you wish!

i’m only doing these simple animal/anthro lil guys right now (am i allowed to call these furry?), as they’re uncomplicated enough for me to make without adding too much stress to my life, can get them done relatively quick, and they’re super fun to draw. i more or less favor a medieval fantasy kind of aesthetic, but if you’re thinking of a different vibe, we can absolutely talk about it!

i need about 80-100 bucks for my adhd meds within the next few days before i run out (hoping to god and fuck that the price doesn’t increase without warning before i can get them. thanks free market!). so if you like what you see and would like to help me continue being able to make art, heres your chance! i’m opening 10 slots for these, and may possibly close them before they’re all taken if i reach my goal before that, so claim yours while you can!

whether you commission me, donate, or just share this post and/or my art i want to thank you so so much for the help and appreciation for my work. i love you and hope your life is filled with joy. 💕

Link to the kofi commission listing

Link to my kofi page if you'd just like to donate

🗡❤️

i feel sort of obligated to clarify something real quick and ask that you please be patient. i am slow, and in a more or less constant state of sleep deprivation, bodily pain, and just general stress. this makes certain things, like figuring out how kofi works and the technicalities and minutiae of freelance work, pretty darn difficult. if i somehow miss something or fuck up in some way just let me know and i’ll try my best to get it fixed as quick as possible. thank you 💕

[littlestartemis]

This is like THE thing I'm most annoying millennial about, but I've decided I'm going to make a guide about this instead of just venting to my friends about it for the Nth time. I am not a fan of spotify. On the surface I already didn't like it, the idea of paying a monthly subscription for a media player that requires an internet connection was abjectly backwards imo. Then I actually used it recently, and I'm even more frustrated, because searching for songs doesn't give you any clear indication on if it's the Actual Song you wanted, or just some rando's remix or something. Not to mention the queue and playlist functions just not working 1/3 of the time, and... yeah.

"Man I wish this artist would release on spotify so I could listen to this song."

"Hey are you gonna put this thing on spotify? I'd really like to listen to it away from my computer/off youtube."

Allow me my one snarky comment here because I feel strongly about this and then the rest of the post will be a polite and detailed guide.

I'm gonna let you all in on a secret, you'll never believe this. There's a method, inside your computer (and phone!), where you can listen to music, any music you want... without the internet. Fuckin wild, right? (Making a break because this ended up being longer than I thought it would)

On your computer, even up to Windows 11, you have a thing called "Windows Media Player" that's just automatically on your computer. And if it's not, for whatever reason, lemme make things even easier for you with a link to install it.

You open it up, and you're greeted with this. (yours obviously won't be filled with FFXIV clips and songs by default, just work with me)

Now, I think everything here is perfectly self explanatory, but I've heard as time's worn on that the younger generations are becoming increasingly poorly taught when it comes to navigating computer programs.

Home is just the first thing you get when you open it. Shows all your recently viewed media on your computer

Music Library is your entire collection of songs in your music folder (we'll get there)

Video Library is the same thing but for video files

Play queue is what you have queued up to play in a list Right Now

Playlists is... the list of playlists you've made

So! Good first step, we have a media player. This thing doesn't need an internet connection, it can make playlists, it can shuffle, it's got it all. But like, how do you actually get songs on it, right? Well, we've got a few methods.

If you're a fan of contemporary/pop music, you've got the easiest time of things. If you're already someone who's ok with paying spotify once a month for their service (which is just a media player with always on internet), you shouldn't have a problem with giving that money directly to the artists you already like the work of instead. Not to mention, on streaming services music can be added and removed at the whim of... really any number of people. Whereas if you get yourself the mp3 file, you own that shit forever.

Most every artist offers a way to buy their music from them directly in album form. For shows, movies, and video games, that can be a little more up in the air, but it's nothing a quick google search of "[media name] original soundtrack download" can't direct you to. My first port of call would be to recommend this site here. Despite the name, it carries an absolutely stupid titanic repository of music downloads, the vast majority of which being for things that either no longer have legal means of purchase, or never had one to begin with. You'll have to download them one at a time if you don't/can't make an account and donate to them, but... that's literally just a time investment. Lil bit of elbow grease.

Now, let's say you're willing to put in that elbow grease, but what you wanted isn't here. Well, you've got an ancient, tried and true method to follow suit on next; youtube conversion. It couldn't be simpler. Copy/paste the url (the funny string of letters numbers and characters in the bar at the top of your browser window) into the thing that says "please paste youtube url here", and press the convert button. You've even got options to change the quality (if you need a smaller file size) and trim a length of time off the beginning or end of it! Again, you'll need to do this one at a time, and via this method you won't get premade names (beyond whatever the yt video's name was) or special album art or whatever. But if all you're after is listening to your music of choice without fucking spotify, that shouldn't be a problem.

And I'm not done yet! Circling back to my earlier comment about "some kids just don't know how to work their computers", some of you may genuinely be asking "what am I supposed to do with these mp3 files after they're on my computer?" We'll start with "where even are they" to begin with. You have something baked into your computer called a "file explorer". I keep mine pinned to my taskbar, but you aughta be able to find it and open it up by searching that name in your start menu

This is what the left side of that File Explorer window aughta look like, more or less. You only need to worry about two of these things here for our purposes; Downloads, with the arrow pointing down at the line, and Music, with the music note in the green circle. By default, anything you download, be it from a converter, more illicit sources, or 100% legal "I bought this from the band's website", is going to go into your Downloads first. (side note, if your computer ever tells you you're running out of space and you're like "what the fuck how??", check your downloads, might need to clear that shit out into the recycle bin) You're gonna move those files from Downloads to Music (I only recently learned that file explorer supports additional tabs now, like browsers! That rules). The simplest method of moving them over though would be to click once on the file, then right click, you'll see a row of pictures at the top of the right click menu, you want the scissors (this is called Cutting). Once you click those scissors, you head over to your Music tab, and in the empty white space, you right click, and at the bottom of the menu you'll see a clipboard with a piece of paper, (that's Paste) click that, and it'll remove that file from Downloads, and move it over to Music.

Your media player program is automatically designed to detect mp3 files inside that Music folder. So, from here, you just need to work the media player!

Open up that Music Library tab in your Media Player, and everything will automatically be grouped Alphabetically, you can change that with "Sort by:" in the top right. Know what else? If you do buy an album (or download one otherwise), it'll recognize that on its own too! You can sift through your collection by Albums at the very top there! So you just wanna listen to an album, you can pop over there, click an album, and...

Play all, right at the top, the red button.

You wanna make a playlist? Right click any song, and in the right click menu you'll see "Add to+", check that, and you'll be prompted to just add it to the now paying queue of songs, or to make a new playlist. Do that, you name it what you want, and now you can just right click-> add any songs you want to that playlist.

Now when it comes to phones, I know most people have iphones, and in that realm... yeah I can't help you sorry. But if you're not, we're in another "this should be on your phone already, and if it's not you can install it". Samsung Music. Open that bad boy up, and

Damn doesn't this look familiar. On my Samsung phone at least, nearly EVERYTHING I just laid out applies to making this all happen just on your phone with no computer. But, if you only download on the computer, and still want this shit on your phone, there's a VERY easy method there too!

Get a USB-C cord, hook up your phone to your computer, and you remember the method I told you for moving those files over from Downloads to Music? Works the exact same for moving things from your computer to your phone. Hell, your phone even has a Music folder of its own! Works the same.

This has been my very long and hopefully helpful PSA about listening to music via methods that don't involve God Damn Spotify. Go enjoy yourselves. Don't pay for shit you don't need to pay for.

[halfmoonism]

Fics for Gaza 🍉

heya! I'll be participating in the @ficsforgaza fundraising initiative through sponsoring wips and taking requests. further rules and all my personal request guidelines will be listed below read more! my writing samples can be found in my writing masterlist (linked below) or snippets of my sponsoring wips below :)

also, do not give money directly to me. I have no links for money up regardless and I will never ask. instead, directly donate to a vetted fundraiser (can be found here and here if you need a place to start looking) and send me proof of donation (please block out personal info). fill this form out too when you make a donation, ty :)

lastly, please consider donating anyway even if you don't want to sponsor anything of mine. there's a creator masterlist if you'd rather look at what other creators are offering! and check out gotcha for gaza for any fandom-specific initiatives! free palestine till it's backwards.

general (more info below): writing masterlist post vetted fundraisers: here and here, though those are far from the only places you can find vetted fundraisers!! rate: $1 = 100 words, $8 for a drabble set fandoms I can write for: anything in my ao3, anything from the sponsored wip list, further details in carrd

General

for both

i will not be posting asks, so I'm running on an honor system. don't send multiple authors the same screenshot please, I don't want to have to stop the honor system :')

i'll have your request done within two weeks for every 1k (so 1k = 2 weeks, 2k = 4 weeks, etc) and will sent updates weekly and whenever you request

if life happens, i'll let you know immediate if i'll need more time + how much longer i'm anticipating

for requests

please send me an ask or dm (preferable, only for requests) w/ your request via dm first. so long as it falls within my request rules, it should be all good :) once I accept, then send proof of donation please!

drabble sets are a series of 25 3-sentence drabbles I can write for any prompt, as loose (fandom, pairing, centered around rain) or specific (fandom, pairing + another chara in the bg, during a specific scene in canon) as you'd like. you can req these too!

for sponsored wips

donate first to a vetted fundraiser and screenshot proof + block out any personal info

send me an ask off anon with your proof of donation and which wip/s you would like to sponsor. I will update wcs weekly

please let me know ahead of time if you would rather remain anonymous when I post the wip! I will automatically mention you in the notes unless you specify

Requests

carrd version + ship details for each fandom available here.

all fandoms I will write for (italicized = have written in published work): great ace attorney chronicles, mob psycho 100, xenoblade chronicles 1, persona 5, persona 4, death note (+ another note), pokemon gens 1-4, fe: awakening, project sekai (vbs), find love or die trying, your turn to die, undertale, long live the queen, a date with death, little nightmares, disco elysium, ib, the uncle who works for nintendo, the case study of jeweler richard, the stanley parable, portal, end roll, omori

will write: a lot. many types of AUs, canon divergence, canon missing scenes, angst, fluff, mild humor, mild crack, etc etc. requests can be as vague or as specific as you'd like. that also includes drabble sets

will not write: nsfw, dead dove, underage, omegaverse, cheating/infidelity, rape/non-con, pregnancy plotlines. generally if I don't have a ship listed in the carrd I'd rather not write it, but if I have any notps that I just can't write for in a given fandom, I'll let you know immediately

Sponsored WIPs

notes:

updates weekly

this includes potentially adding parts to completed works that I am open to writing :)

will be sorted from continuations of completed works -> short to longer fics

many wips already have prewritten segments; all sponsored words are not par of the prewritten segments, they are just the anticipated amt until the end of the fic

all of this is also listed in the carrd for easy access, but updated wcs will only be listed here

hand on my stupid heart, the henry epilogue — fe: awakening, inigo & henry & olivia, henry/olivia

synopsis: third ch of the dysfunctionally healthy family dynamic that takes place during their supports while inigo's trying (and failing) to snoop on henry+olivia. wherein henry is on an entirely different wavelength from both olivia and inigo (aka he figured early on that inigo might be his son but rejected the idea on principle) but he still just Gets It

tags: this is just silly. silly and a little sad. and rather yearning. henry is a little insane

sponsored: 0/1500

fun little excerpt: Olivia is strange, even for him. Hmm. Wait, that’s not true. She’s the shy, pretty dancer that joined at the tail end of the Plegian war—he’d consider that pretty normal. But for such a shy person, she sure does get weirdly defensive whenever he says something she doesn’t like, which is a lot! And he still doesn’t get the whole learning emotions thing, but he’s pretty sure Olivia doesn’t go around teaching the whole camp how to frown? Then, alright, Olivia’s strange when it comes to him, that’s for sure, but not anyone else. That's nothing compared to Inigo, though, ahaha.

East of the Sun pt 3, ryuunosuke's (un)grand return — tgaa, heavily implied kazuma/ryuunosuke, bg sholmes/van zieks + post-kazuma getting absorbed into a found family

synopsis: when ryuunosuke first sets foot on london again, he'd expected quite a bit to change from kazuma's letters. but not this much. aka kazuma purposefully didn't tell ryuunosuke abt sholmes/van zieks beyond sholmes visiting the office more and ryuunosuke kind of loses it

tags: post-canon, mild humor, ryuunosuke just goes through it (affectionately) while yearning himself (derogatory)

sponsored: 0/1700

Pushing Up Daisies, that's what you call thaumaturgy sequel — persona 5 royal, akechi & sumire, bg one-sided joker/akechi (that ends)

synopsis: wrapped in the suffocating vines of a perfect reality, akechi goro, without fail, calls yoshizawa kasumi every monday at 9am, never any earlier or later. he won't stop asking her what her name is.

tags: post-royal bad ending, two ppl who lost themselves clawing their way to a bittersweet ending

sponsored: 0/5000 (I don't think it'll be this short but I'll start if 2000 is met)

a long and bountiful life — mob psycho 100, dimple & mob

synopsis: “This is the first and only time I’ll use my hypnosis on you,” he says to a swaying Shigeo, and he knows this is it. (Well, he always did have grand ambitions.)

tags: canon compliant, ending of divine tree arc, angst (ig), regret

(already written: 163) sponsored: 0/1500

fun little excerpt: So, he failed. He loves that kid. He loves that kid and he’s screwed up everything for him, digging from the roots and all: the brainwashing, the mocking, the insincerity, everything he stands for was everything he threw against Shigeo, and the inkling sensation of guilt was easy enough to ignore when Shigeo had gotten full of it and denied his very existence. Easy enough when Hanazawa had stormed in and carelessly flung energy around, easy enough when he just kept proving everyone right about him, perfectly fulfilling their lack of trust and unsavory impressions, their scowls and hatred. He’s used to it! He drank it up! Of course he could take Shigeo like this! Yeah, right.

things older and murker than love [holder title] — mob psycho 100, reigen & mob & hanazawa

synopsis: sometime post-canon, hanazawa walks into s&s with an unusual request: his apartment is haunted. that isn't quite right, but shigeo doesn't know how to tell him that the walls themselves are reaching out to haunt him. (he thinks hanazawa knows, anyway.)

tags: post-canon, in which the haunting is not a person but a place, found family, hopeful ending

(already written: 912) sponsored: 0/1500

fun little excerpt: "You would?" Hanazawa mumbles. The weakened awestruck tone sounds wrong in the office, rejected from every surface and bouncing around with nebulous intent. "I mean—thanks, Kageyama." To Reigen: "No, not like something's in them. It's like—ah, you wouldn't believe me." Reigen raises an eyebrow, the way he would to a particular difficult customer. Except Hanazawa isn't a customer and Reigen's gaze is softer, fond concern shaving away the rigidity of his confidence like a whetstone.

by the cliffside, left wanting — disco elysium, cuno & harry & kim

synopsis: EMPATHY [Godly: Success] — He doesn't have anyone in the world. (The boat not having room for three doesn't stop two detectives and a fledgling hope for change.) aka: cuno goes along with harry and kim for the ending sequence

tags: canon divergence, canon-typical violence, implied/referenced child abuse, slurs (cuno), found family

note: as this is cuno pov, this means there are swears/slurs in like every sentence. oh my beloved awful 13 year old son

(already written: 2642) sponsored: 0/1500

fun little excerpt (literally a swear word in every sentence): "What if I do join the pigs, huh?!" he screams, balling his hands into fists like a goddamn street fighter, and C's face turns three shades of purple like the people in those fucking snuff films she forces him to watch. "Cuno can do whatever the fuck he wants! If you're gonna hold the Cuno back, C, then Cuno's gonna ditch your sorry ass!" He can see the moment she processes each syllable and shoves that catacomb dream out of his old-ass creaky apartment window. Yeah. Cuno's not a stupid fuck. He knows he's in deep shit. He knows C will fucking shank him in his sleep, that type of shit. Then his fucking pig sets a dinky fucker alight and the old world's gone up in smoke.

an old world's haunts — your turn to die, joe &/ sara (one-sided most likely)

synopsis: in every world but this world, sara doesn't lose joe. she can't lose joe. she can't lose joe. (in which sara's utter ruthlessness in the simulations is explored)

tags: major character death (undone, but happens in every 'world' iteration), canon-typical violence (often enacted by sara), emotional manipulation, just. absolute cruelty to survive, the ai simulations.

(already written: 2828) sponsored: 0/1700

untitled canon-divergent au — mob psycho 100, reigen & mogami

synopsis: the world's greatest psychic of the 20th century meets the world's greatest psychic of the 21st century earlier than expected. Somehow, this makes all the difference. aka, in which 12 yo reigen forces mogami to take him in as an 'apprentice'

tags: for want of a nail, nobody is dead, being kind to ppl for fun and profit (it is not fun and there is minimal profit), redemption sort of, found family, non-linear narrative

(already written: 658) sponsored: 0/2000

fun little snippet: But the kid's face reminds him of his own teenage self on the reruns he's unfortunate enough to catch, far-removed from the skin of the drained, lying has-been he's currently wearing. The desire to be someone, to go out of his way to be better is altogether too familiar. Denying this kid now, no matter how pragmatic, feels like betraying the sense of self Keiji perhaps liked best. So he asks, "What's your name?" And makes a mistake.

some sort of remaking — persona 4, kanji/naoto/rise

synopsis: as valentine's day approaches, rise gets hit with the bright idea to teach naoto how to flirt so that they and kanji could finally get it together. that is... not exactly what happens

tags: developing relationship, getting together

(already written: 479) sponsored: 0/2000

fun little excerpt: "No, Naoto-kun, your line delivery's a bit—here, say it a bit slower and try smiling at the end, 'kay?" Naoto-kun, ever the fast learner, follows her instructions to the letter. Which is great, of course! Makes her job easier! Her heart's having a hard time in the face of their sincere smile, though. She didn't think a smile could shine outside of sets.

[doahaesunshine]

Chapter 12

Chapter WC: 2576

Tags

The frog, the frog, the frog.

Master List | Prev | Next

July 15

Twenty-eight weeks and two days…

Any sane individual would have given up and moved on by now, but Seungcheol’s sanity was slipping. He would never admit that his determination had bordered on full blown paranoia and it didn’t go unnoticed. 

It started back in January when he refused to attend the funeral. He didn’t see a point in seeing an empty casket get lowered into the ground, even if his family begged him. They meant well – and Seungcheol knew this – but no amount of closure or peace was going to stop him from searching.

After he had confronted his friend’s father about staging a suicide, Seungcheol was filled with endless questions. First of all, why was the father okay with staging the scene? Next, why was there no body? And finally, what the fuck does ‘you don’t understand the forces at play’ mean?

The majority of Seungcheol’s free time was spent scrounging up any information at the town library. He started practical, digging up every missing persons case in town via the library’s digital scanners, but the only person in the local news was Seokmin Lee, the first friend he lost. Another article mentioned an unusual earthquake that nearly wiped out the town, the natural disaster causing the river’s current to shift and strengthen.

Seungcheol turned away from the scanners and moved onto the computers. The public databases would offer more than local news. Missing persons cases were plentiful, but  the added detail of it being on Christmas Eve helped narrow it down greatly. Four years ago in New York, a young man by the name of Vernon Chwe went missing in the city. His little sister said that he went to hang out with some friends and he never came back home. The poor family thought he ran away, he was only 21.

On the other coast there was an incident in Los Angeles, California that took place on Christmas Eve 2014. A married couple were found dead in their estate; they had a son, Joshua Hong, but his body was never found. The police concluded that it was a robbery gone wrong and the family suffered because of it, none of the suspects were found guilty. 

There were a few other missing persons during the month, but reports the day of Christmas Eve only happened every two years. Seungcheol saw a pattern the more he researched, the only problem was what he was going to do with that information. They were all freak accidents or people disappearing into thin air. He had a foolish thought, one that would end up in nothing, but his curiosity had to be satisfied.

Seungcheol opened up a new tab and searched local urban legends. The first link was a forum dedicated to his small town, but everyone had an online tag or was anonymous so none of the names were familiar. 

its.ya.boi.19 : Some people said they’ve seen a woman walking on the bridge alone at night. They said she dresses in all white and lures any men that come across her. I think she drowns them… Hi~Welcome2Chilis : I heard it was a man Dr.Pepe : Sounds like bullshit ur.mom.rated.E.4.everyone : I think its legit. I saw something on the bridge at midnight. But it didn’t look like a person… Dr.Pepe : That’s so stupid. ur.mom.rated.E.4.everyone : No! Think about it! MERMAIDS Hi~Welcome2Chilis : It’s a river… the_G.O.A.T_69 : i mean times are changing. what if they moved to the rivers because of pollution??? Dr.Pepe : Do you proofread your posts? the_G.O.A.T_69 : i don’t need to “proofread” and i believe the guy. you ever hear of sirens?

Mermaids? Sirens? What even was a siren?

Seungcheol returned to the search bar and typed in: What is a siren?

He pulled up the Wikipedia page and read through it.

In Greek Mythology, a Siren is a human-like being with an alluring voice. Old stories tell of Sirens luring sailors to their deaths by attracting them with the Siren’s song. Sailors became enthralled, steering their ships onto rocky shores resulting in a shipwreck and the crew's demise.

A mythological creature? Ghosts were one thing, but fish people who lured humans to their death by singing? Inconceivable.

So here Seungcheol was, walking along the bridge at nearly midnight, waiting to see if anyone would show up. The fairy lights were gone, only the dull yellow street lamps lit the path, making it difficult to see out into the water. A chilled breeze blew past Seungcheol causing a shiver to go down his spine, he should have worn a coat.

He stopped in the middle of the bridge and checked his phone, the time was midnight on the dot. Lifting his head from the device he looked around, scanning the area to see if anyone had appeared. Nobody was here but him, not surprising…

Sighing deeply, he grasped onto the railing of the bridge and looked out into the dark, murky water. He chuckled at his own stupidity.

“God, I’m an idiot… Maybe I really have tipped over the edge.”

He stretched his back and with an exhale, he stood up straight from the railing. A big yawn escaped him, strong enough to make him squeeze his eyes shut and when he opened them, he saw a figure. He blinked his eyes in disbelief, but no matter how many times he closed and reopened his eyes, the figure was still there. Seungcheol was no longer alone on this bridge.

Just as the forum described, a woman, or man, Seungcheol couldn’t tell from this distance, wearing all white. At first he thought the person was wearing a sheer outfit, but as he focused on the figure he saw that their legs faded into nothing. A ghost. Great, this is exactly what he needed right now.

Slowly, Seungcheol approached them, not wanting to scare the spirit. As he approached the figure, more details came into view. Their hair was a dark blue, almost black and their skin was fair with a slight glimmer, but that could be from the fact that this person was see through. Once Seungcheol was within reaching distance, the white cloaked figure gracefully turned their head to him. 

They were beautiful. Long, elegant features were perfectly sculpted, creating a face that anyone would be charmed by. Their eyes were a deep blue, akin to the midnight sky and Seungcheol found himself getting lost for a moment. 

“You can see me?”

The figure’s lips did not move but a calmly, modulated voice eased into Seungcheol’s mind. He flinched as it breached his senses but he stood his ground.

“Am I not supposed to?” Seungcheol asked, not knowing what else to say.

The spirit mildly smiled as a small laugh rang through.

“That means I was successful…”

Seungcheol cocked a brow at the statement. “Successful? What do you mean by that?

“I wished to communicate with this side of things and here I am.”

As amazing as this interaction was, and even though Seungcheol was thoroughly enthralled by this individual, he knew gawking wasn’t going to get him any answers. 

“I want to ask you something…”

There was no response, but the spirit gave Seungcheol their full attention.

“Are you a Siren?”

Another laugh bled its way into Seungcheol’s mind.

“No, I am not a Siren… I am a Diviner.”

“You’re saying that as if I know what you are talking about-”

“All of you humans have such a funny way of speaking. You sound just like the others.”

“Others?” Seungcheol’s interest was piqued, but he was so confused and didn’t have any idea what was going on or why this was happening.

“This river must have some sort of connection to the Arcane. It keeps pulling people in and the Weave led me here.”

“Arcane. Weave. Things I do not know. Please speak in words I understand…”

Another pleasant smile spread across their delicate features. 

“You really do talk just like them…”

Seungcheol huffed out a deep sigh. “Please stop being so cryptic. I came here looking for answers about my friends. If you know so many humans then maybe you know Seokmin or Y/N. Those names ring any bells?”

The spirit’s face softened, their eyes turned solemn and their smile disappeared. Anyone would be able to read that expression, this Diviner knew something.

“If you know something, please tell me. Both of them are my friends, my family .”

“Oh-” The raven haired figure turned their gaze away. “You must be Cheolie…”

Seungcheol’s eyes widened, tears threatening to fall as he furrowed his brow. “How-” His throat started to constrict as the tears started streaming. “How do you know that name- My name?”

The spirit gingerly reached out to Seungcheol, but flinched as something else caught their attention.

“Shit…” They said under their breath. “I have to go now- Return to this spot when the moon is full. I’ll have more time then- I promise.” Their image began to flicker.

“Wait! The next full moon- I don’t even know your name!”

“It’s Minghao…”

After the name was uttered, the image of the white-clad spirit dissipated and Seungcheol was left with hundreds of questions. If he was being honest with himself he didn’t even believe that any of that really happened. A ghost on the bridge? That could not have been real, but the spirit, Minghao, spoke to him. 

Seungcheol looked up at the night sky to gaze upon the moon. It was crescent shaped, but it was only a sliver. He unlocked his phone quickly and went to the browser search bar and typed: When is the next full moon?

The phone screen read August 1st.

On the bright side, he had sixteen days to compile a list of questions. But holy shit sixteen days seemed so long when you had to wait on someone else's behalf.

Morning approached faster than Seungcheol expected, the insomnia stunting his sleep and causing him to stay up countless nights. In total he slept two hours last night and was suffering, but it was nothing coffee couldn’t help. Besides he was on a mission and it started with meeting up with his friend’s father.

There was a local old-fashioned diner that served breakfast, Seungcheol decided that if he was going to bombard his friend’s father with questions, he may as well treat him to good food. Thankfully, the diner was mostly empty, save for a few regulars and the occasional commuter looking for a quick cup of coffee.

Sitting by the window, Seungcheol observed the people passing by on the street while spacing out. The past few interactions with his friend’s father had been strained to say the least. There were so many questions in Seungcheol’s mind already and the added confusion of ‘ You don’t understand the forces at play’ made his head hurt. The last time Seungcheol saw the man he was told to ‘not go looking for trouble’ but Seungcheol was a magnet for trouble. Being the oldest of his former friend group, he was in charge of keeping the others out of trouble but that meant he knew where to find it as well.

“How’s it going, kid?” The usually chipper voice of his friend’s fathers voice was now somber.

“I’m doing fine…” 

A long sigh left the man’s lips. “You don’t have to lie to me, Cheol.”

Silence filled the space between the two men, the only words spoken were their orders and nothing else. When the food was served, the waitress could tell the tension was high so after placing the dishes down she bolted. Eating was easier than talking, especially when the food was good.

“I know you didn’t invite me out for breakfast, Cheol…”

Seungcheol looked up from his plate. “I’m not trying to hide that fact.” He placed his fork down to sip from his coffee. “I just want to know what happened…” Leaning in, he lowered his voice. “I know they didn’t kill themself…”

There was a moment of pause. “Seungcheol…”

“Please just tell me the reason…” Seungcheol’s round eyes welled with tears, but he refused to let them fall.

“I wish I could, I really do.” Even their father’s eyes reddened. “But I can’t.”

Every time Seungcheol asked his friend’s father the same question, he was given various versions of the same answer. It was always a ‘I can’t tell you’ or ‘You don’t want to know’. He was never given a straight answer.

“Please, you’re basically my father and Y/N is like a sibling to me. I need to know-” Seungcheol choked on his words. “Why did you stage a suicide? Why was the casket empty? Why am I seeing apparitions in the middle of the night telling me they saw Y/N?”

“What did you just say?”

“Ghosts, man. I’m seeing fucking ghosts!” Seungcheol raised his voice and a few of the customers turned their heads to spectate his rambling. “I swear I’m fucking losing it-”

“Cheol, stop.” The father that Seungcheol considered his own met his gaze. “Go wait outside, let me pay the bill.”

“But-”

“Just- Go cool off.”

Seungcheol obeyed the older man and walked outside while he wiped his tears away with shaky hands. He inhaled deeply and exhaled the breath after holding it for a moment, his heart was out of control. 

The door opened once more. “C’mon, Cheol- Let’s walk and talk…”

Walking side by side, the two men followed the road to the bridge. It was still morning so the lamps were off and the overall atmosphere was different. Instead of deep, dark water that seemed to have no end, the river was slightly murky with fish visible just below the surface. 

“Is this where you saw him?”

Seungcheol turned his attention away from the water. “Huh-”

“The apparition or ghost - is this where you saw him?”

Answering with a nod, Seungcheol took another moment to breathe. “Yeah- I didn’t just see him though, we talked.”

The older gentleman sighed and massaged the wrinkle out of his knit eyebrows. “I was really hoping to keep you out of this just like I did for my child. I tried hard to be a good father, I really did, but the others kept ruining it.”

“Others? The ghost I spoke to? Or is there more than one?”

“Cheol, he wasn’t a ghost, he was an-” His sentence was halted. “He- Ming-” Blood trickled from his nose as he struggled to speak. “Shit- After all these years…”

Seungcheol held onto the older man’s arm to support him. “Hey- Are you alright?”

“Yeah- There are just somethings I can’t talk about or else this happens.” He pointed to his nose.

“I know who you are talking about. Minghao, right? He called himself a Diviner .” Seungcheol rambled everything he remembered from the previous night.

“I physically can’t answer your questions, Cheol- All I can tell you is that if you want to continue searching, be careful.”

After a quick nod, Seungcheol helped the older man to his car and paid him back for the meal even after arguing. He watched as the older man drove off to ensure he got onto the road safely and once the car was out of sight, he entered on his own.

“Great, more questions…” Seungcheol muttered to himself before putting the keys in the ignition and starting the car.

To join a tag list, please comment on the Fallin' Flower Master List!

@reiofsuns2001 @shinwonderful @starstrawb

[jasico-challenges]

Jasico Week 2024 FAQ

Please make sure you read this before sending us an ask.

Do I have to create a work for every single prompt?

No, you can participate as much or as little as you want, producing one work or seven, it's up to you.

I'm writing fanfic and I wil be posting on my AO3 account, do I have to post my work here too?

You don't have to it if you don't want to, but if you'd like for your work to be featured in this blog, you'd have to post it using a Tumblr account so we can reblog your post. Remember to follow the tagging system below when posting!

Does this event have a collection on AO3?

It does, this is the link to it: Jasico Week 2024 AO3 collection.

Can I combine Jasico Week 2024 with other challenges?

Yes, as long as the other event allows it.

What if I don't like a prompt?

Along with the official prompt list, there will be four alternative prompts that you can choose from to replace a prompt.

What media can I make?

Whatever you'd like! Fanfic, fanart, moodboard, gifs, edits, etc.

Are there any requirements to make fanarts, gifs and edits?

Not for fanarts, no. Just make sure you give credit on your post to any music and/or images you’ll be using when making edits and gifs.

Can I post early?

Yes, but we won't be rebbloging any works before the official event starts.

What about posting late?

We will reblog posts of the correct date and up to one day late. For example, if you couldn't post your work for day two in time, we will still reblog it on day three, but it will only count as day two, you have to post something else for day three for it to count as filled. (that is, if you're aiming at being a completonist).

Can I make NSFW content?

Yes, as long as there is a warning at the top of the post and the mature feature on Tumblr is used.

Is there a min/max word count?

No, write as little or as much as you'd like.

If your question wasn't answered or if you're confused about anything, feel free to send us an ask!

TAGGING SYSTEM

We will try to reblog as many post as we can but only properly tagged works will be added to the blog, so be warned, incorrectly tagged posts will not be reblogged. Follow the system bellow so you can up your chances of being rebbloged:

#jasicoweek2024

#day1, #day2, #day3, etc.

#prompt (birthday, pre-heroes of olympus, etc.)

#altprompt_ (if you use an altprompt, add this tag with the number of the altprompt you used, like so: #altprompt3)

#altprompt used (sickness, road trip, etc.)

#media (fic, fanart, gif, moodboard, etc.)

#trigger warnings (ex: gore, blood, graphic descriptions of violence)

#your own tags

Read our About post and Calendar to learn more about the event. Learn about prompt suggestion reading this post.

[ssspringroll]

Real Estate 'Listings' Info

TL:DR Vacant apartments. They're a sim-making prompt. That sim will live in that apartment in my game. Only occults are invited. (See sim guidelines at least, if you read nothing else)

E.T. Moneybags presents an exciting new housing opportunity for all displaced or needy occults. Looking for a new start? Move on in to a lovely Newcrest apartment! A newly developed neighborhood for all of freak-kind to live in peace, amongst themselves or while learning to integrate with human society!

After crash-landing in the yard of the Landgraab mansion some 20-odd years ago, they took them under their wing, showing them the wonders and joys of capitalism! Delighted by this, among other earthly delights, E.T. has spent their time on Earth finding ways to introduce culture to everyone they can. With a little investment help from their old pals the Landgraabs, they've hit it big enough for their dreams to come true: a housing development just for people like them. Aliens, Vampires, Werewolves, and more!

What is this?

I'm starting a new 'starter save', a personal save file that I will clone each time I want to begin a brand new save game. This has every lot changed, every EA townie updated, and a few new townies added in. Some of these new townies are made by me, but the rest? That's where this project comes in! Real Estate 'Listings' are a (hopefully) fun idea I came up with to invite other simmers to make some sims for my new starter save.

How does it work?

I will post photos of a vacant* apartment. This is your prompt for making a sim! If the whole apartment is decked out in purple, maybe it's a sim that really likes purple? If there's a lot of books and bookshelves, maybe they're a writer? It's up to you how much personality you want to give them! Once the 'listing' photos go up, you can comment or reblog with a notice that you would like to claim that spot. After the spot has been claimed, I will turn off reblogs for 3 days, during which time you can make and submit your sim! (If you need more time, let me know, but if I don't hear from you for 3 days, the listing will go back on the 'market'). Once an apartment has been filled, the post will be edited and the reblogs will stay off.

You can check the open listings at ssspringroll.tumblr.com/tagged/for rent. All listings (open and closed) can be viewed at https://ssspringroll.tumblr.com/tagged/ETM Realty

If you'd rather just submit a sim and let me figure out the rest, you can! More info here: https://ssspringroll.tumblr.com/post/747775297474183168/renters-wanted

If a listing has reblogs disabled, then it's claimed (or occupied, check the original post to see!) You do not have to claim an apartment before submitting a sim, but I highly recommend it! If someone else claims the apartment they get dibs on it, even if you started your sim before they claimed it. But there's plenty of apartments to go around, so don't worry! You'll probably find another one that you like.

*It is possible that an apartment will already have a resident and will instead be looking for 1 or 2 roommates to move in.

To submit your sim:

You may make your own original post featuring your sim(s), or you can reblog the listing with your sim(s) if you find that easier, more organized, or whatever (if you claimed an apartment and reblogs are off, you'll have to comment to let me know I need to re-enable reblogs!). Make sure you @ssspringroll in your post so I don't miss it!!!

Your sim(s) do not have to be publicly downloadable if you do not wish for them to be, you may private message @exculis (my main) with the link if you prefer, or send a non-anonymous ask.

Sim creation rules/'guidelines':

You do not need to make a new sim for this, you are welcome to offload sim(s) from your gallery (that you made, or were born in-game) if you'd like

You do not need to write any kind of backstory, biography, or anything else about your sim(s). You can genuinely just post them with no commentary if that's all you feel like doing. Remember these are townies! I'm not asking for maximum effort. I'm asking for whatever you can scrounge up.

Sim(s) MUST be an occult of some sort, or intended to be an occult of sorts. If you do not have the pack associated with the occult you'd like to make, that's fine! Just specify what they are supposed to be in your post somewhere and I'll make sure they get turned into that occult when I place them in game

Aliens are preferred, but all in-game occults are acceptable (including plantsims!). That said, they do not need to follow game-lore. For example, I often make 'demons' that are actually vampires, or 'fairies' that are actually spellcasters. You can have fun with it! However, I will not install any mods that add in new occult types.

Hybrids are allowed and encouraged! I play with the occult hybrid stabilizer, and I love weird combos! If you aren't capable of making them a hybrid on your own, once again that's fine! Just specify what occult types they're supposed to be, and I'll get them set up as best I can in game.

Only one outfit (everyday) is required, it's up to you if you want to put any other outfits on them. I won't stop you. If their other outfits aren't done, they'll likely just get randomly generated ones from me (unless they end up a major character in one of my playthroughs, then they'll likely get a more personalized makeover)

You do not need to customize Alien Disguise form, vampire dark form, mermaid form, werewolf form, etc. You can if you would like to.

You aren't limited to just 1 sim per household. Many apartments have space to sleep multiple sims, you're welcome to make as many as you want. Human sims are permitted if they're family.

You aren't limited to 1 submission, but you can only have one outstanding claim at a time. If your claim runs out, you decide to give it up voluntarily, or you fulfill the claim by submitting a household, you are allowed to claim and submit again if you'd like.

Pets are permitted. Horses are not recommended. These are apartment buildings 😰

I have all the packs, and cc of any kind is permitted. I only ask that you please include the cc in the download when you share the sim

I won't install custom sliders. I have too many in my game as it is and your sim will probably look fine in my game without them

Disclaimers:

I do not write stories, this is not a 'submit your sim to be a character in my story'-type event. These sims will functionally be townies in my game that may interact with whomever I am playing at the time, and might not.

I will do my best to mention the original creators of the sims if/when they are featured in screenshots on this blog, but please understand I may forget. I will always direct people your way if they ask directly about a sim, though (if your username hasn't changed by then/I can still find you, of course)

I will not share your sims with anyone else. I will not share my starter save or any save files cloned from my starter save with anyone else.

I can and WILL change anything about your sim(s) that I want to. If you aren't okay with this, this isn't the event for you

Complex gender options are a-okay! I won't touch things like physical frame, pronouns, clothing preference, or other gender options. I do play with the LGBTQIA+ mod, though, with auto-assign settings that may assign them a gender identity or orientation different from what you intended.

None of the apartments or their buildings are available for download. If you really want one of them for some reason, shoot me a message I guess. You will not get any of its residents. See bullet 3.

This isn't a 'enter and you might get in' type game, this isn't a contest. If you send me a sim (unless there's some kind of game-breaking issue with them) then they will go in my game. Into an apartment. Until I run out of apartments, and then any further submissions will just be left to run around homeless.

I may add to or edit this post as the event goes on.