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#i lifted so much weights but THIS was pushing too hard
Note
Bear with me this one’s weird
So like (dark f1 boyfriend) takes you out to dinner because they haven’t seen you for a while. At the dinner table, they kiss your hand and somehow smell your pussy still on your hands. They are like “did you fuck your self when I told you not to touch yourself without permission” and they just sit there and stew in anger until you get home and they fuck you so hard into the next day
Sorry if this is too odd
Disobedience
Word count: 1k
Pairning: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: NSFW, Domination, Punishment, Degradation, Anger-fueled sex, Mature Language, Smut
______________________________________________________________
The last few weeks had been long. With Lando gone on back-to-back races, the days felt like an endless stretch of lonely nights. His strict rules about not touching yourself without his permission played on your mind constantly, testing your patience. You tried to follow them, to wait for him, but today, temptation had won. That familiar ache deep inside had pushed you over the edge, and your hands had wandered, betraying his trust.
You were still feeling the lingering heat from earlier as you dressed for dinner—a fitted, deep red dress that hugged every curve, the satin fabric smooth against your skin. It had a plunging neckline that teased just enough without giving too much away, paired with sleek black heels that added a sultry edge to your outfit. You glanced in the mirror, adjusting the dress, running your fingers through your hair as a pang of guilt hit you. Would he know?
When Lando arrived to pick you up, you noticed the tension in his jaw, but he greeted you with a soft smile, his hands slipping around your waist as he leaned in to kiss your cheek. He seemed relaxed, though his eyes lingered on you a bit longer than usual, tracing every inch of your body in that dress.
“You look beautiful,” he murmured against your skin, sending a warm shiver down your spine.
The drive to the restaurant was filled with his usual charm—playful teasing, a couple of comments about how much he’d missed you, but there was an undertone of something darker. He’d glance over at you with a look that made your stomach flutter, one that promised there was more beneath the surface than casual conversation.
Once at the restaurant, a small, elegant place nestled away from the crowds, you were seated in a cozy booth. Lando, ever the gentleman, pulled out your chair and ordered for the both of you. The soft lighting made everything feel more intimate, but as you settled into conversation, the memory of what you’d done earlier weighed heavily on you.
At one point, Lando reached across the table, taking your hand in his. His thumb brushed over your palm, and then he lifted your hand to his lips, kissing it gently. But then, his lips paused. His eyes flickered with something darker, more primal, as he inhaled slightly. You froze. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks—he could smell you, still lingering from earlier.
His grip on your hand tightened, but he didn’t say anything right away. His eyes, though, told you everything. That dark, stormy look meant trouble.
“Did you fuck yourself when I told you not to?” His voice was calm, too calm, as he leaned in slightly, his thumb pressing harder against your skin.
Your heart raced, shame and excitement flooding your body in equal measure. You wanted to deny it, to find a way out, but you couldn’t lie to him, not when the evidence was so clear.
“I… I couldn’t help it,” you whispered, your voice barely audible above the soft clatter of dishes in the background.
Lando’s eyes darkened even more. His lips pressed into a thin line, but he didn’t say another word. Instead, he leaned back, releasing your hand as he sat there, stewing in silent anger. The rest of the dinner was quiet, the tension between you almost unbearable. You could feel the weight of his displeasure in every glance, every small movement he made. He didn’t eat much, just sipped his wine and watched you with that simmering rage in his eyes, like a predator waiting for the right moment to strike.
By the time you got back to his place, the silence had grown thick, the air heavy with anticipation. The door had barely clicked shut before Lando had you pinned against it, his hands gripping your hips, his body pressed flush against yours. His mouth was at your ear, his breath hot and angry as he spoke low and harsh.
“You disobeyed me,” he growled, his voice dark and full of promise. “I told you not to touch yourself without my permission, didn’t I?”
“Yes,” you whispered, breathless as his hands roamed your body, rough and demanding.
“And yet here you are,” he continued, his hands sliding up your dress, his fingers teasing the sensitive skin of your thigh. “You couldn’t even wait for me, could you?”
He didn’t wait for a reply. His hands slid between your legs, fingers pressing against the fabric of your underwear. You whimpered as he found the wetness that had lingered from earlier, his lips curling into a wicked smirk.
“You’re soaked,” he murmured darkly, fingers moving over you with practiced ease. “You really couldn’t control yourself.”
Before you could respond, he spun you around, pressing your front against the wall, his hands tugging your dress up higher, exposing you. His hand slipped around your throat, tilting your head back as his lips brushed your ear again.
“Now, I’m going to remind you exactly who you belong to,” he whispered, his voice thick with dominance.
And then he was inside you, hard and fast, his thrusts punishing as he drove into you without mercy. Each movement was rough, possessive, claiming you as his again and again. Your moans filled the room as you lost yourself to him, every part of you consumed by the overwhelming intensity of his control.
Lando didn’t stop. He fucked you relentlessly, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you back onto him as his pace grew harder, faster. The punishment you deserved for disobeying him stretched into the night, his desire to claim you again and again driving him into a frenzy. Every time you thought he was done, he started again, taking you from different angles, pushing you to your limits. You begged, moaned, screamed, but it only spurred him on.
By the time morning light began to filter through the curtains, you were a mess—sore, breathless, utterly consumed by him. Lando finally slowed, his breath heavy as he pulled you into his chest, his hands gently stroking your back.
“You’re mine,” he murmured, his lips pressing against your temple. “Don’t ever forget that.”
You nodded weakly, body trembling from the aftermath of his punishment, knowing that you never would.
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rosemariiaa · 3 days
Text
~Holding On~
pairing- Paige x Azzi
a/n: not really much to say.. but this was kind of sad to write. I’m taking requests for a while until I start on something new , so send what you want to read lovelies 💌
Anon Request: • can u write pazzi oneshot where paige has thanatophobia and has panic attack and azzi id there to comfort her •
themes: fear of dying
Enjoy!!!
The apartment was quiet, but inside Paige’s head, it felt anything but. Her breathing was shallow, erratic—her hands trembling as her mind spiraled down a dark, endless tunnel. The walls felt like they were closing in on her, the fear wrapping itself around her chest like a vice. She was trying to keep it together, but it was slipping, all of it slipping.
She couldn’t stop thinking about it. The end. That moment when everything just… stops. What if it came sooner than she thought? What if she wasn’t ready? What if she left everything and everyone behind?
Her chest tightened, her heartbeat thrumming too fast, too loud. She pressed her back against the cool wall of her room, gasping for air that didn’t seem to reach her lungs. The world felt like it was fading, like she was falling, and she couldn’t stop it.
Azzi wasn’t supposed to come over tonight. Paige had tried to be normal during practice, tried to laugh and joke like always. But the moment she was alone, it crept back in. And now it was suffocating her. Somehow, through the fog of her thoughts, she heard her phone buzz. Azzi. She didn’t have the strength to answer it.
Then, the door opened. Paige’s breathing hitched when she heard Azzi’s voice, soft but concerned. “Paige? You didn’t answer my texts. You okay?”
Azzi’s eyes immediately landed on Paige, crumpled on the floor, her knees pulled to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around herself as if trying to hold her body together.
“Oh my God, Paige,” Azzi whispered, rushing to her side.
Paige couldn’t even speak. She could barely breathe. She felt a cold sweat trickling down her spine, her vision swimming. Her mind was racing, chaotic and frantic, screaming things she couldn’t control.
Azzi dropped to her knees beside Paige, her own panic rising, but she pushed it down. She needed to be strong right now. Gently, she cupped Paige’s face in her hands, forcing her to meet her eyes. “Hey, hey… I’m right here. You’re okay. Breathe with me, okay?”
Paige’s eyes were wide, unfocused, but she tried to latch onto Azzi’s voice. It was like a lifeline, a rope pulling her from the deep end, but it was hard. Everything was hard.
“I can’t,” Paige managed to choke out, her voice raw, broken. “I can’t… Azzi, I… it’s like… I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel like I’m going to die. I— “You’re not going to die,” Azzi said firmly, though her voice cracked with emotion. She wrapped her arms around Paige, pulling her close, holding her as tightly as she could. “You’re safe. I’ve got you.”
Paige’s body shook as she collapsed into Azzi’s embrace, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Azzi held her, one hand stroking her hair, the other rubbing circles on her back. She didn’t say anything for a while, just let Paige cry, let her panic run its course. The weight of the fear was crushing, suffocating.
“I’m scared,” Paige finally whispered, her voice so small it almost broke Azzi’s heart.
“I know, baby. I know,” Azzi whispered back. “But you’re not alone. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
They sat like that for what felt like hours, the weight of Paige’s fear slowly lifting, little by little. Her breathing started to even out, though the trembling in her hands remained. She could feel Azzi’s heartbeat against her own chest, steady, grounding her in a way she hadn’t thought was possible.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Azzi asked quietly, her fingers still running through Paige’s hair.
Paige didn’t answer at first. She didn’t know where to begin, how to explain what it felt like to be so terrified of the end—so terrified of something inevitable. Finally, she whispered, “I think about it all the time. About dying. About not being here anymore. It’s like this… weight. I try to ignore it, but sometimes it just… it takes over. And tonight, I just—” Her voice broke, and she clutched Azzi tighter. “It’s too much.”
Azzi closed her eyes, trying to keep herself from crying. She hated seeing Paige like this, so vulnerable, so scared. “You don’t have to go through this alone,” she said softly. “I know it feels like you’re carrying it all by yourself, but I’m here. Always.”
“I don’t want to lose you,” Paige whispered, her voice barely audible.
“You won’t,” Azzi said, her voice fierce, determined. “You’re stuck with me, okay? Forever, if I have anything to say about it.” Paige gave a shaky laugh, though it was more out of exhaustion than amusement. “Forever, huh?”
“Forever,” Azzi confirmed, leaning down to press a kiss to Paige’s forehead. “We’re in this together.”
Paige nodded, her breathing slowly returning to normal. She didn’t feel okay, not completely. The fear was still there, lurking in the back of her mind, but it felt… manageable, at least for now. With Azzi holding her, it didn’t feel like it was swallowing her whole.
“I love you,” Paige whispered, her voice soft and fragile.
Azzi’s heart swelled, and she kissed the top of Paige’s head again, pulling her even closer. “I love you too. And I’m going to be here, no matter how hard it gets. You don’t have to be scared alone.”
They stayed like that, tangled together on the floor, the world outside their small apartment fading away. For now, it was just the two of them, holding onto each other through the storm. And for the first time in a long time, Paige didn’t feel quite so afraid.
————-
tags: @thaatdigitaldiary @patscorner 💌
96 notes · View notes
ducktoo · 1 day
Text
Syncing Dream [Aespa x M!Reader]
11. Gym-selle life
Note: Enjoy the fluff!
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It was a rare, calm afternoon at SM’s gym, and Y/n found himself with some unexpected free time. After that incident, he decided that his small frame wasn't cut it for this line of work. So, he started hitting the gym.
And it was always best to do a workout on a free day.
No schedules, no urgent texts from the group, and no chaotic last-minute changes—just peace. But peace didn’t seem to last long, not with Giselle around.
“Hey, boss baby,” Giselle’s voice rang out as she walked into the gym, a sly grin plastered on her face. She was dressed in her workout gear, hair tied up in a messy bun. “I heard you were looking for someone to train with.”
Y/n, who had been lazily scrolling through his phone while sitting on a bench, raised an eyebrow. “…Was I?”
“Well, you are now,” she declared, grabbing a mat and plopping it down next to him. “Come on, let’s do a workout together. I’ve got some steam to blow off, and you could use the exercise.”
Y/n snorted. “I do exercise, Aeri”
“You walk us from the van to the stage. That doesn’t count.”
“Hey, there’s a lot more to my job than that,” Y/n shot back, standing up to stretch. “Besides, I’m not that out of shape.”
Giselle crossed her arms and eyed him suspiciously. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure the last time you ran, you were dead after a flight of stairs.”
Y/n’s mouth opened, ready to argue, but he couldn’t exactly deny the truth. “Okay, fine. But that doesn’t mean I can’t keep up.”
“Prove it then,” she said with a challenging glint in her eyes. “Let’s do some cardio, weights, and maybe a bit of core. Think you can handle it?”
“Oh, don’t test me, Uchinaga” Y/n said, rolling up his sleeves and drove both of them to the gym.
-
The first few sets went as expected.
Y/n kept up with Giselle through the warm-up—jumping jacks, a bit of light jogging, and stretches. He felt confident. Too confident.
But as soon as Giselle cranked up the intensity with high-knees and burpees, Y/n quickly realised he might have bitten off more than he could chew.
“Fcking hell, you... do this... often?” Y/n panted, trying to catch his breath between sets. His legs were already feeling the burn, and they hadn’t even started with the weights yet.
Giselle, barely breaking a sweat, looked over at him with a smirk. “I’m fine, Y/n. You good?”
“Never better,” Y/n grunted, wiping the sweat from his brow and forcing himself to keep up. He wasn’t about to let Giselle think he couldn’t handle it.
The next part of the workout involved weights, and Y/n felt slightly more confident. He had done some weight training before—how hard could it be?
The answer: very.
Giselle lifted with ease, moving through reps with the kind of strength that made Y/n wonder if she had secretly been training for a boxing match. Meanwhile, he was struggling to maintain his form without collapsing under the weight.
“Come on, Y/n, you got this!” Giselle teased, watching him wobble as he tried to do a squat with a barbell. “You’re not gonna let me out-lift you, are you?”
Y/n gritted his teeth, determined to push through the pain. “Hell no.”
But by the time they got to the core workout—planks, sit-ups, and leg raises—Y/n was just about ready to tap out. He collapsed onto the mat, staring up at the ceiling as his abs screamed in protest.
Giselle, still full of energy, laughed and nudged him with her foot. “Tired already?”
“Damn…right I….am..,” Y/n wheezed, still flat on the ground. “Just... Gonna catch my breath.”
“Sure,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Let’s cool down, then.”
-
After finishing up the workout, Giselle led Y/n through some stretches, and thankfully, they were much more manageable than the burpees. The two of them stretched in comfortable silence for a while, the intensity of the workout replaced by a relaxed atmosphere.
“I gotta admit,” Y/n said, still a bit breathless, “you’re in way better shape than I thought.”
“You expected me to be weak or something?” Giselle asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Not at all,” Y/n replied quickly. “It’s just... I didn’t expect you to be that strong. I’m impressed.”
“Well, we do have to keep up with choreography and performances,” she pointed out, grinning. “Plus, I like staying fit. Makes me feel good.”
“I can see why,” Y/n mumbled, rubbing his sore arms. “You almost killed me out there.”
Giselle laughed. “You’re just out of practice. But don’t worry, I’ll whip you into shape in no time. You’re gonna be running laps around the rest of us soon.”
Y/n raised an eyebrow. “You sound like you’re planning to make this a regular thing.”
“Of course I am,” Giselle said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re officially my new workout buddy. So, no more slacking off.”
Y/n groaned but couldn’t help smiling. “Great. I’m doomed.”
Giselle just grinned, clearly pleased with herself. “You’ll thank me later.”
“Sureeeee” Y/n remained sceptical, but complied nonetheless.
-
After their workout, the two of them decided to reward themselves with a cheat meal. They headed to a nearby café, ordering some well-deserved food to replenish their energy.
As they dug into their sandwiches, Y/n leaned back in his chair, finally feeling the soreness in his muscles set in. “I’m not gonna be able to move tomorrow, am I?”
“Probably not,” Giselle replied nonchalantly. “But that’s how you know it’s working.”
Y/n rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t help but smile. “You’re evil, you know that?”
“Hey, you agreed to this.”
“Regretting it already,” Y/n muttered, taking a bite of his sandwich. “But thanks, Aeri. I do need to train after that happened.”
"I should say thanks instead, Y/n" Giselle smiled. "You looked surprisingly cool back there."
"No it wasn't. But at least it drives me to hit the gym" He chowed down his well-deserved burger.
She waved him off. “No problem. It was fun.”
The two sat in comfortable silence for a while, the post-workout exhaustion settling in. It was moments like these—just relaxing and sharing a meal—that reminded Y/n how much he appreciated his job. Sure, it was chaotic and exhausting at times, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything.
As they finished their food, Giselle glanced over at him, a mischievous look in her eyes. “Same time next week?”
Y/n groaned, but the smile on his face gave him away. “Fine. But next time, I’m picking the workout.”
“Deal,” Giselle grinned, already looking forward to their next session.
-
A few months had passed since Y/n’s “death by burpees” workout with Giselle. He had committed to their regular gym sessions, despite his initial reluctance. Cardio, strength training, and core work had slowly started to pay off. His stamina improved, muscles grew, and even his posture became more confident. However, Y/n didn’t give much thought to his own progress. To him, it was just about keeping up with the girls and doing his job better.
But aespa had definitely noticed.
One afternoon, while Y/n was grabbing some water bottles for the group, Winter’s voice broke through the chatter.
“Wait—when did this happen?” she asked, her brow furrowed in confusion as she stared at Y/n.
“Happen? What?” Y/n responded, blinking in confusion.
“This!” Winter gestured dramatically towards him, like she was pointing out something obvious. “Idiot. You’re... like... buff now.”
Karina, who had been mid-stretch, stopped and glanced up. “Oh my God, she’s right.” She sat up straighter, her eyes scanning his form. “Wow, you’ve definitely been working out.”
Giselle, not one to miss a chance to brag, gave a smug grin from her spot by the mirrors. “Told you I’d get him in shape.”
Y/n shrugged awkwardly, not used to being the centre of attention. “It’s just a bit of working out,” he muttered, scratching the back of his neck. “Nothing crazy. Just training to get stronger, you know?”
Winter stood up, her eyes scrutinising him with exaggerated intensity. “No, seriously. When did you get all... strong? What are you eating?”
Ningning, having missed the start of the conversation, wandered over. “What’s going on?”
“Y/n’s been hitting the gym,” Karina explained with a chuckle. “And apparently, he’s swole now.”
Ningning raised an eyebrow, walking up to Y/n and poking his arm experimentally. “Whoa. You’ve been hiding this under all those hoodies?”
Y/n groaned, quickly becoming flustered. “It’s just some muscle, nothing worth—”
“Nope, this is big news,” Ningning interrupted, laughing as she continued to poke him. “You’re all buff now, which means you’re finally ready for me to set you up with someone.”
Y/n blinked, taken aback. “…Dafug? You what now?”
Ningning grinned mischievously. “You know, now that you’ve had a glow-up, I can totally help you get a date. I know tons of cute girls. Heck, we can set you up with Seulgi-unnie for the lols.”
Karina and Giselle burst into laughter, clearly entertained by Ningning’s playful matchmaking attempt.
“Oh, this is going to be good,” Karina teased, sitting back to watch the chaos unfold. “Let’s see who she has in mind.”
Y/n felt his face heat up, shaking his head vigorously. “Ok, please don—”
“Come on,” Ningning pressed, clearly enjoying his embarrassment. “I’ve got connections. You won’t have to stay single forever.”
Before Y/n could protest further, Winter, who had been watching the entire exchange with an unreadable expression, suddenly spoke up.
“He doesn’t need your help, Ning,” Winter said, crossing her arms and stepping forward. “He’s fine as he is.”
Everyone turned to look at her, the room going silent for a moment. Winter’s tone was oddly defensive, and it wasn’t long before Karina and Giselle exchanged knowing glances, their lips curving into mischievous grins.
“Oh?” Karina said, eyes glinting with amusement. “Minjeong-ssi, are you... jealous?”
Winter’s eyes widened in alarm. “What? No! I’m just saying—he doesn’t need her to—”
“Yeah, sure,” Giselle cut in, smirking. “That sounded totally platonic.”
Winter’s face turned pink as she struggled to find the right words. “I-I didn’t mean it like that!”
Ningning, ever the troublemaker, immediately pounced on the opportunity. “Ooooh, I see what’s happening here,” she teased, her grin widening. “Minjeong-unnie doesn’t want anyone else setting Y/n up because *she* wants to do it herself.”
“Stop twisting my words!” Winter protested, her blush deepening as she glared at Ningning.
Y/n, caught in the middle of the teasing, could only stand there, his eyes wide as the girls ganged up on Winter.
“Ya, this isn’t—” he started to say, but his words were drowned out by the escalating laughter.
“You’re blushing,” Karina pointed out, clearly enjoying the show. “It’s cute.”
“I am not!” Winter huffed, her arms tightening across her chest defensively. “You’re all ridiculous.”
The teasing only got worse from there.
“Don’t worry, unnie,” Ningning said with a wink. “If you want Y/n to stay single, all you have to do is ask.”
“I don’t want that!” Winter groaned, covering her face with her hands. “Can we just move on?”
Giselle, still laughing, patted Winter on the back. “Hey, no need to be shy. It’s okay to admit you care.”
“Ugh, you guys are the worst,” Winter muttered, her voice muffled behind her hands.
Y/n, meanwhile, was doing his best to keep his own blush under control. He had never seen Winter get this flustered before, and while he didn’t want to make things more awkward for her, the situation was undeniably hilarious.
After a few more minutes of relentless teasing, Karina finally took pity on Winter and waved her hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, let’s give her a break before she explodes.”
Winter peeked out from behind her hands, her face still red but visibly relieved. “Thank you.”
But Ningning wasn’t done just yet. “So, if Winter doesn’t want me to set Y/n up... does that mean she’s volunteering?”
“Okay, that’s it,” Winter groaned, grabbing a pillow from the nearby couch and tossing it at Ningning’s face. “We’re done talking about this!”
Laughter erupted once again as Ningning dodged the pillow, her grin as wide as ever. “Fine, fine! But just know, I’m always available for matchmaking if you change your mind, Y/n.”
Y/n let out a sigh, shaking his head with a chuckle. “I think I’ll pass.”
-
After the chaos of teasing finally died down and everyone had settled back into their routines, Y/n found himself replaying the conversation in his head.
He knew the girls liked to mess around, but the way Winter had reacted earlier... it left him with a strange, fluttery feeling in his chest. He wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was it just the usual banter, or was there something more behind her defensiveness?
As he helped pack up the practice room for the day, Winter approached him, her expression noticeably less flustered now that the teasing had subsided.
“Sorry about earlier,” she said quietly, glancing away. “They can be a bit... annoying sometimes.”
Y/n smiled softly. “Ehhh… I’m used to it by now. Got that every day.”
Winter nodded, her gaze still avoiding his. “I just didn’t want them making things weird for you. Ningning has a habit of taking things too far.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured her. “Thanks for stepping in.”
She glanced up at him then, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Anytime.”
For a brief moment, the two stood there in comfortable silence, the noise of the others packing up in the background. And while neither of them said anything more, there was an unspoken understanding between them—one that Y/n couldn’t quite put into words but felt all the same.
As they left the practice room that evening, Y/n couldn’t help but wonder if things between him and Winter were changing.
Maybe. Just maybe.
And if they were? Well... he wasn’t entirely against it.
-
The next workout session was supposed to be business as usual—just Y/n and Giselle hitting the gym like they had been doing for months. It had become a routine, something Y/n had grown to not only accept but almost look forward to, despite the occasional grumbling when Giselle pushed him a bit too hard.
But today, something was different. Or someone was.
As Y/n and Giselle entered the company gym, stretching and preparing for another gruelling session, a familiar face strolled in behind them—Winter.
“Wait,” Y/n blinked, watching as Winter tossed her bag down by the mats. “Jeong, what are you doing here?”
Winter shrugged, acting nonchalant, though there was an unmistakable determination in her eyes. “What? Can’t I join you guys? I don’t always want to be the homebody, you know.”
Giselle smirked, clearly entertained. “You? Winter? At the gym? Voluntarily?”
Winter rolled her eyes but smiled, crossing her arms. “Don’t sound so surprised. I’ve worked out before.”
“Yeah,” Giselle teased, “but your ‘workout’ is walking to the kitchen for snacks.”
“She’s right, you know?” Y/n chuckled, stretching his arms behind his head. “I’ve never seen you step foot in the gym before.”
“Well,” Winter huffed, glancing between the two of them, “today’s a new day. I figured I should at least see what all the fuss is about since you two keep talking about it.”
Giselle raised an eyebrow, amused by Winter’s sudden enthusiasm. “Uh-huh. And this doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that everyone was teasing you about Y/n yesterday, right?”
Winter’s eyes widened, her face flushing as she shook her head. “No! It has nothing to do with that! I just... wanted to try it, okay?”
Y/n bit back a grin, not wanting to embarrass Winter any further. “Well, if you’re serious about joining us, uhhh welcome.”
“Great,” Winter said, a little too quickly, as she avoided eye contact. “Let’s do this.”
-
“Why do I feel like I’m dying?” Winter panted, clutching her side as she bent over, trying to catch her breath.
“That’s because you are.” Y/n deadpanned.
“Shut…up, Jung Y/n.”
Giselle, barely breaking a sweat, glanced down at Winter with a smirk. “Told you it wasn’t going to be easy. Welcome to gym life.”
Y/n tried to suppress his laugh as he wiped his forehead with a towel. Winter had gamely joined in on their usual warm-up routine, but it was clear she wasn’t used to this kind of intense exercise. While she might have been an idol, used to dancing and rehearsing for hours, the focused, relentless pace of their workout had caught her off guard.
Winter shot him a look, narrowing her eyes. “You think this is funny?”
Y/n raised his hands in mock surrender, still smiling. “Damn right, it is.”
“You’re such a piece of bull,” she muttered, straightening up and stretching her arms over her head. “I thought I was in good shape... but this is torture.”
Giselle grinned, tapping her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. Besides, it’s good to switch things up every now and then.”
Winter groaned but nodded. “I guess.”
Y/n couldn’t help but admire her determination. Despite her complaints, she hadn’t given up, and in a way, it reminded him of his own early days at the gym—awkward, out of breath, but still pushing through.
“Alright, let’s get back to it,” Giselle said, clapping her hands together. “Next up, we’ve got some core work. You ready, Winter?”
Winter hesitated, glancing at Y/n. “Do I have a choice?”
“Nope,” Y/n said with a grin, grabbing his water bottle. “You’re stuck with us now.”
-
After a gruelling session that left even Y/n feeling the burn, the three of them finally headed back to the dorm. Winter had survived—barely—and while she complained the entire walk back, Y/n could tell she was secretly proud of herself for sticking it out.
As they reached the dorm entrance, Winter paused, stretching her arms again. “I’m never doing that again.”
“Oh, come on,” Giselle teased, unlocking the door. “You loved it.”
Winter shot her a glare. “My body says otherwise.”
As they stepped inside, they were greeted by Karina and Ningning lounging on the couch, looking far too comfortable for Y/n’s liking.
Ningning was the first to notice their return, her eyes lighting up with mischief as she sat up. “Well, well, well. Look who’s finally joining the fitness squad.”
Karina raised an eyebrow. “Minjeong, you? At the gym?”
Winter groaned, flopping onto the couch beside her. “Yes, and I regret every second of it.”
Giselle snickered, tossing her bag aside. “She did pretty well, considering she’s not used to it.”
“Used to what?” Ningning asked, looking between them.
“Working out with us,” Y/n explained, grabbing a seat in the nearby armchair. “Minjeong joined our gym session today.”
Karina blinked in surprise, then smirked. “And lived to tell the tale?”
“Barely,” Winter muttered, slumping against the cushions. “I don’t know how you guys do that every week.”
Ningning’s eyes lit up again, clearly not about to let this opportunity pass. “You’re just trying to keep up with Y/n, aren’t you?”
Winter immediately sat up, glaring at Ningning. “No! I just... wanted to try something different.”
Ningning’s grin only widened. “Suuuure. You weren’t worried about someone else setting him up with a date or anything, right?”
Winter’s face turned red as she scrambled for a response, but before she could defend herself, Karina and Giselle burst out laughing, joining in on the teasing.
“Not this again,” Winter groaned, burying her face in her hands. “I’m never going to hear the end of this, am I?”
“Nope,” Ningning said cheerfully, patting her on the back. “But hey, at least you survived the workout.”
Y/n, watching the chaos unfold, couldn’t help but smile. It was good to see Winter come out of her comfort zone, even if it was for something as simple as a workout. And despite all the teasing, there was a warmth to the way the girls interacted—an unspoken understanding that they were all in this together, through thick and thin.
As the laughter died down and everyone settled into their usual spots, Y/n found himself glancing over at Winter. She caught his eye for a brief moment, and though her cheeks were still pink from the teasing, she offered him a small smile.
Maybe she wouldn’t become a gym regular like Giselle, but the fact that she had joined them—even if just for a day—was enough.
“Next time,” Y/n said, raising his water bottle, “I’ll go easy on you.”
Winter groaned again but smiled. “You better.”
“Actually. Nah. It’s funnier seeing you suffer.”
“YA-“
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orions-choker · 3 days
Text
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Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Serial Killers, Murder, Obsessions, Yandere tendencies, Oral Sex, more to be added.
Chapter Five
In an unfortunate turn of events Y/N was left alone inside the venue, she hadn’t humored the idea that seeing as Kirk was playing he would have to leave her alone to get things ready backstage. Nervously she sat at one of the rickety bar stools, it wobbled under her weight and she steadied herself quickly. “Jesus.” She mumbled to herself. “How is this place still standing?”
Her eyes scanned across the room. It was dingy, dimly lit. It smelt musty and damp, though that might have been the amount of bodies piling in. At the front of the room was an old stage, small and illuminated with stage lights. Decidedly she would never step foot in here alone. She slumped over at the bar, watching the stage curiously as the first band moved to set up. Really all she wanted was to see Kirk play.
In the back of her mind was a prodding feeling. He had acted so strangely earlier in the car, she had never seen him move so aggressively, the shine of that silver blade. A frown tugged at the corner of her lips as she thought about it. What could be so secretive about a knife? A family heirloom maybe? But why in the glovebox.
She was shook from her thoughts by the overwhelming sound of the strum of a guitar. Considering the place looked half abandoned the place had an impressive sound system. It commanded her attention so she turned to the stage once more. The name of the first band escaped her but she watched intrigued anyway.
The group of guys looked nervous even from here, a group of lanky teenagers whose instruments seemed too big for their bodies. But the way they played was anything but. Her senses were assaulted by the clanging of fast and aggressive music. Based on the way the crowd erupted with excitement she would say they were doing good.
It was too much, it rocked her bones, the vibrations in her body made her feel sick. She needed air, she needed to get out. The bar stool almost fell over as she pushed herself down onto the floor. Tucking her arms to her chest she pushed her way through the sea of people towards an illuminated exit sign. She sighed in relief, pushing her body against the door she stumbled out through a side entrance. Cool night air greeted her skin like a welcome embrace.
She leaned against the side of the building, her chest heaving as she drank in the air greedily. Like a weight had been lifted off her chest, her head tilted back as her breathing calmed down. Her eyes scanned the surroundings, she had been led out to a side alley, dimly lit by the distant streetlights from the parking lot. Taking a step forward she turned her head, good she could see Kirk’s car from here if she needed to leave suddenly. Though she desperately wanted to stay, to support him.
Turning her head the other way was looking towards pitch darkness. Distantly there was the sound of a steady drip. The faint scent of iron hung in the air. Her brows furrowed curiously as she took another step forward towards the darkness. Suddenly the hairs on her neck stood up, her skin tingling with the innate sense of danger. She needed to get back inside. Taking a step back from the encroaching darkness her back hit something hard, someone.
A scream ripped through her, attempting to spin around when a heavy hand held her in place, another coming up to cover her mouth muffling her panicked noises. Her eyes went wide, darting across trying to get a glimpse of the assailant behind her. Her body thrashed in the strong grip. This was it, the man she had seen in her backyard, the killer on the loose.
“Shit Y/N calm down.” Kirk’s voice hit her ears, his breath ghosting across her skin. Her body stiffened, the sound in her throat dying out. “It's just me, sorry I didn’t mean to freak you out.” His apology fell on her ringing ears as he slowly released his grip on her. Slowly she turned around, unable to believe it was really him.
But there he was, standing with a sweet sheepish grin, his eyes soft and worried. A sigh of relief rippled through her as she leaned forward pressing her head to his chest. Instinctively his arms came to wrap around her shoulders. “Fuck, Kirk what the hell is wrong with you, who grabs someone like that?” She complained, tilting her head to look up at him. “I thought I was about to get stabbed.”
He looked surprised by that, his hands rubbing along her arms comfortingly. “Ahh, jeez, sorry I thought it would be funny.” He winced. “I went to go say hi before we went on and couldn’t find you.” She took another step forward allowing herself to be enveloped by his comforting aura, her heart still pounding in her chest rapidly. “Why are you so jumpy though?”
It took a moment before her breathing evened out and she was able to form a response. “I don’t know I’m just, all the news lately has been eating away at me…” she groaned. “The other night too, there was someone in our backyard and I haven't been able to shake the feeling of being watched.” She confessed to him as she finally pried herself from his arms.
“In your backyard?” His eyes widened in concern. “Shit why wouldn’t you say something, I shouldn't have left you alone.” There was remorse in his voice. He pulled her back into a tight hug. “C'mon let's head back inside, I’ll sneak you into the back if it makes you feel better.” He guided her towards the door.
Y/N nodded slowly as she let herself be guided back inside, her eyes shifted once more down the alleyway before it disappeared, the scent of iron seemed stronger now, her eyes catching the gleam of a shimmering red trail pooling across the gravel. Then the door shut and she was enveloped once more by the hammering of music against her skull. Kirk guided her easily through the crowd towards another small door, he pushed her inside.
It led to a series of dimly lit hallways, the sounds from outside muffled just slightly, it was enough. It wasn’t empty by any means, groups of people sat gathered around fiddling with instruments. Her eyes caught a group of three men, she recognized them from her first day home in Kirk’s backyard. “Hey guys this is Y/N, she's gonna sit back here for the show she’s not doing too well for her first time.” Kirk pushed her gently into a chair beside them.
Their curious eyes landed on her. A tall blonde man was the first to greet her, a wide nervous smile and intimidating blue eyes. He introduced himself as James, then there was Lars, and Cliff. Kirk’s bandmates. Oddly enough she felt relaxed in their presence. “Sit tight babe, you can see us pretty good from here.” Kirk mumbled as he leaned down to press a soothing kiss to the top of her head.
There it was, that word again that sent a pain through her stomach. Babe, she liked hearing it from him, didn’t like the casual way in which he said it. It was impossible to determine the nature of their relationship, after hanging out for a few weeks she would consider themselves friends. But the way he kissed her in his room, the way he so easily gravitated towards physical affection with her. She wanted more.
Kirk was right, she had a not bad view of the stage from where she was sitting. She watched as the guys exchanged pleasantries with the band before them as they passed each other on the way up. She loved the way Kirk's fingers gripped his guitar, long and slender splayed out across the frets. She needed to see him play.
And see him play she did.. He was an entirely different beast with the guitar in his hand. Focused and skilled, even if it wasn't her favorite style of music it sent a pleasant thrum throughout her. His hands moved at insane speeds, the smile that crossed his face was almost angelic. That's where he was meant to be, on stage, it was the most in his element she had ever seen him. He was gorgeous.
She was left breathless by the end of the set, wide eyed and shaky. She could hardly comprehend that it was already over. A deep sense of disappointment filled her as the lights dimmed and Kirk approached her from the stage. “Is it over already?” She asked breathlessly, standing up to greet him. Her fingers itched to grab him, her body felt like it was on fire.
His laugh filled the air. “Was it good?” He asked her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She could feel the sheen of sweat on his skin through her shirt but she didn’t care. Her eyes were filled with wonder as she looked up at him. She nodded slowly.
“More than good, that was incredible holy shit.” She praised him enthusiastically. “Since when did my nerdy next door neighbor become such a god?” Kirk’s chest puffed up a bit at her words, his grip around her shoulder tightening. She hardly registered the speed in which he was tugging her out of the venue, across the parking lot to his car.
There was a sense of urgency in him as spun her around, pressing her to the side of his car. His hands heavy on her shoulders. “Can I kiss you again.” He asked like a desperate plea, stepping forward between her legs as he towered over her. “Please.” Y/N nodded quickly, her hands coming up to tangle in his slightly damp hair. Their lips pressed together hungrily, an aggressive clashing of teeth and tongues.
It was wet and sloppy as she moaned into his mouth. His hands were warm against her chilled skin as they traced up her stomach beneath her shirt. His knee rocked between her legs, a heavy pressure against her core that had her nails digging into his scalp. Her hips rolled down against him as she gasped against his lips.
A loud wolf whistle broke them apart. A group of drunks across the parking lot hollering at the show they were putting on. “Fuck, not here Kirk.” Y/N pushed him away gently, shivering at the growl that left his lips, the way his hands gripped tighter onto her before letting go. There was something possessive in the way he loomed over her. “Take me home.”
That seemed to satiate his hunger, the promise of something more in private. The two of them climbed into his car eagerly. His hand found itself a spot on her inner thigh, his fingers digging into the fabric of her jeans. He massaged her roughly as he peeled out of the parking lot, racing down the dead streets with one hand clutching the steering wheel. She squealed in a mixture of surprise and excitement.
“You have no fucking idea what you’re doing to me Y/N.” Kirk choked out, his eyes darting to her’s quickly. “I want to destroy you.” The words were harsh and biting. It sent a heat of arousal through her, the space between her thighs dampened and she pressed her legs together, squeezing down on Kirk's hand. Instead of pulling down their street Kirk went a street over, half-hazardly parking in an empty lot. Y/N looked up at him confused. “I can't wait, get in the back.”
Looking between him and the back sweat of Kirk's car, Y/N hesitated for a moment. Her eyes dropped down to his jeans, watching the strain of the fabric around his growing hard on. She swallowed hard and nodded, quickly climbing over the center console into the back seat. Kirk's hand rested on her ass as he guided her back before joining her. “I don’t want to fuck in the back of your car like horny teenagers.” She gasped out, settling down on her knees between his legs as he leaned back in the seats.
He looked down on her with an amused smile, the sight of his pointed crooked teeth making her skin tingle pleasantly. “That’s fine, just please touch me.” He groaned, his fingers popped open the button on his jeans, pulling the zipper down over the growing bulge. Her stomach dropped at the sight, his cock pushed up against the flimsy fabric of his underwear and her mouth went dry.
She was about to blow him. Kirk, her next door neighbor, her childhood crush, her current crush. She watched with wide eyes as he reached below his waistband, his hand wrapping around the base of his length and tugging it out. The head was swollen to a pretty deep red color, leaking already at the tip. Her fingers dug into his thighs in anticipation. The desperation in his eyes had her leaning forward, wrapping her lips around the skin.
His body shuddered beneath her with a shaky groan. “Oh,fuck.” He gasped. Kirk's hands came up to head, dragging his fingers through her hair as he pulled it back out of the way for her. Giving him a better look of her face as she hollowed out her cheeks and sunk down further across the girth. Y/N’s nose nestled into the patch of hair at the base of his cock as she fully swallowed him. “Jesus christ Y/N.”
His cock twitched across her tongue. The weight was pleasant in her mouth and she hummed gently, smiling at the way his body rolled up at the vibrations. He tasted a lot like sweat, she supposed that was to be expected after he played a show, but beneath it was the sweet scent of tobacco that seemed to linger on his skin. Slowly she pulled back, pressing her tongue to the head playfully as her hand gripped the rest of him.
She worked in tandem with the strokes of her hand, sucking on the head and twirling her tongue across the slit. The desperate whiny moans spilling from Kirk's lips were enough to spur her on further. He sounded so sweet coming undone beneath her, she wanted to bask in it forever. She traced her tongue along the underside, working from his balls up and back down again. His nails scraped against her skin.
“Y/N, fuck can I.” He groaned, his body curling up as she took all of him in again in one swift movement. His hands clutched at the side of her head as he jerked forward. “F-fuck so good.” He rasped out. “Can I come in your mouth?” He asked sweetly, and how could she deny it?
Her response was to quicken her movements. The car filled with the wet sounds of her swallowing around him and the occasional gag as he hit the back of her throat. She could feel him shaking beneath her, words escaping him as he was left panting. He twitched in her mouth and she pulled back, opening her mouth as he came undone. Hot thick ropes of his release coated her tongue, some of it missing her mouth and spreading across her cheeks.
Kirk looked down at her with wide eyes, pupils blown and fucked out as he watched himself finish across her face. “F-fuck.” He heaved out. His hands held her head steady as the last of his cum dribbled across her lips. His cock twitched gently as she let go of it. Her mouth closed as she swallowed. The warmth and saltiness of it had her shuddering lightly. Her hands came up to wipe across the skin where he had spilled out, gathering it on her fingers before bringing it back down to her lips. She wiped her hand clean as she smiled up at him.
“I hope that was okay?” She asked him, tucking his softening dick back into the constraints of his underwear. “I’m not really one for casual sex.” She mumbled as she crawled beside him onto the seat, her knees were screaming at her for the awkward position she had been in.
Nodding, Kirk pulled her into another kiss, softer this time, filled with an appreciative tenderness. “Really fucking good, god thank you.” He sighed against her, tasting himself on her tongue he moaned. “You’re something else Y/N.” His fingers rubbed across her cheek slowly, pressing their foreheads together as he looked deep into her twinkling eyes. “Let me take you home now.”
Kirk pulled into his driveway. Making his way to open the door for Y/N once more. He held her hand tightly as they crossed the lawn to her front door. It was only a couple feet away but the gesture of him walking her to her door had her heart fluttering. “We're going to hang out more right?” She asked hopefully as she spun her body to face him, her hand hovering above the door knob.
“Of course, you didn’t think this was a one time deal did you?” He asked her with a smile and shake of his head. “I’m not a dick.” He teased her as he leaned down to kiss her softly. “Go to bed.” He ushered her inside. The last thing she saw before locking the door was his grinning face. When she settled into bed that night she felt warm, content, and safe.
It was all ripped away from her the next morning as she settled at the kitchen table. The static of the radio filled the room. “Another body was found just last night, outside The Exchange, a local metal bar downtown.” the reporter's voice snapped Y/N from her tired haze. “A young woman was found disemboweled and partially decapitated in the alley beside the bar, likely happening during the show that occurred there last night, if any members of the community have any information please step forward.”
The color drained from Y/N’s face, her skin clammy as she dropped the spoon in her hand to the table. Her eyes were unfocused. Outside the bar, the alleyway, last night. The impending sense of doom she had felt, the strong smell of iron and the brief sight of something red. Her stomach lurched and she gagged. “Y/N? Oh god isn’t that where you went last night?” Her mother asked in a panic, her hands coming to rub her back soothingly as she dry heaved at the thought.
“It is.”
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lillyspeakz · 3 days
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Can you write some incelbur bieng huge and reader bieng tiny smut ???
lowkey dub-con; pinning down, restraining, SIZE KINKKKKKK, hand kink, choking, degradation, aftercare!, a lot of spit
“You think now that I finally got my hands on you I’m gonna let you go? Stupid, stupid thought little one.” Wilbur groaned as his hands pinned you down on the bed, leaning his weight on your body as he did.
Wilbur finally got his hands on you, finally making you love him and showing how much you mean to him. You were everything he revolved around, every waking thought, everything he needed. Truly. So when you invited him into your house after a date one night, he knew he had too do something to show you. Show you just how much you meant to him.
“Look how fucking small you are, bet you want me to split you in half and use you for all your worth yeah baby?” Wil said as he thrusted slowly into you, pulling all the way out and slamming back into you, making you cry out into the pillow.
You were lying on your stomach, hands behind your back as you took him, body lying limp as his weight forced you down into the mattress. As much as you squirmed and denied every sentence, you loved all of this. How gross and cruel he was being, leaving you on the edge the whole time as he tore you apart.
Wilbur leaned down, his body covering yours entirely as he pulled your head to the side in order to see your face. As he saw tears fill your eye line as your eyes rolled back to your head as his thrust continued, getting harder and harder each time to keep his patience up. He was hitting so deep inside you, his length and girth filling you up and hitting every spot imaginable. Your back arching in his hold as he let go of your hands and pulled your hips up to meet his, gripping the skin hard as he finally fucked you fast and hard, drool falling out of your mouth as your mouth opened in silent screams, broken moans following.
Wils thrust faltered as he bottomed out inside you, pulling you all the way up, pressing your back against his chest, holding onto your throat as one hand pressed down on the bulge appearing in your stomach. “Feel that baby? That’s all me, no one else. Only I can make you feel like this. Make you feel amazing while claiming you as my cocksleeve yeah?” Wilbur smirked down at you as you gripped his hand that was on your throat, your hand moving his wrist up towards your mouth. “Does the slut want my fingers in their mouth? Love my hands that fucking much you need them in you at all times?! Didn’t think it’d be this easy to corrupt you darling-“ Wilbur chuckled as he shoved two fingers down your throat slowly, relaxing them as they curled into your throat.
His thrust continued as he pressed down on your tongue, making you gag as your head fell back into his shoulder. His fingers fell out of your mouth, drool falling across your face as your whole body went limp in the man’s hold, the pleasure of the situation being too much for you to keep up.
“Stay awake baby, I’m not nearly done with you. I’ve waited this long for you, so you’re gonna take all of it.” Wilbur smirked against your ear as he pushed you back down on the bed as he gripped your hips harder and fucked you hard and deep, his moans filling the space as your body took all of it.
It was like you were his own personal toy. Something for him to throw around and fuck whenever he wanted, and you were. You will be. You didn’t mind, if it meant this treatment everytime.
“Come on baby, give me those noises.” Wilbur demanded as he lifted your head up by your hair, a pool of drool dripping onto the bed as your breathless moans and whines left your mouth, your mind barely with you as you let him control your mind. “Good job baby! Fuck, I’m gonna cum!”
Wil watched as he disappeared inside you, the ring of white around his base as your arousal ran down your thighs and into the bed. He groaned at the sight of your needy core, fucking you impossibly harder as you brought a hand back to catch his, squeezing it as you screamed in need.
Wilbur placed your hand back down on the bed as he held it, leaning down on the bed as he placed his body on yours. “Come on baby, cum for me! Did so good for me- fuck! Good job baby!” Wilbur moaned out as you tightened around him, his thrust faltering as you sucked him in as tight as you could, eyes rolling back as your thrusted into you one more time before cumming inside you, as deep as he could go.
Heavy pants and whines were heard as you both came down from your high, Wilbur slowly pulling out of you. You whines as he left you, the emptiness leaving you feeling cold in some odd way. Sitting up, Wilbur spread your legs open again, mesmerized by the way his cum ran down your core and into the towel he had laid out before.
“All mine baby. Only mine.” He whispered as he kissed your thighs, massaging the skin around them. “Did so good baby. My good darling, always.”
“‘m tired Wil.” You whines as you reached for him, eyes closing as your body relaxed.
“Stay awake darling, you need to drink some water first, here.” Wil helped you onto your side as he grabbed the water bottle from your nightstand, helping you take a sip before lying you back down and placing a small peck on your lips. He quickly got up and went to the bathroom, finding a small cloth to wet down, quickly coming back as he wiped you down as quickly and gently as he could .
As you hissed from sensitivity as the cold cloth tan against your clit, Wilbur quickly apologized as he cleaned your thighs quickly and threw the cloth and used towel somewhere else than the bed.
Flopping down beside you, Wilbur brought you into him as he kissed your forehead, small snored being heard from your lips already as he laughed,
“Goodnight to you too darling, I love you.”
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reitziluz · 1 year
Text
remember. if you have neglected your bodily needs and been a sad lump at the bottom of the couch for two days. and it's a sunny bright day. even if you were okay going to the gym. you might not be safe to engage in other, strenuous activity that has been a migraine trigger in the past
also, lying on your right side (or the placebo of it idc) makes the meds hit harder
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gloomwitchwrites · 2 months
Note
I'm in a roll....
The 141 in grey sweatpants. 🥵
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You're in a roll? Me too. A brioche roll. Or maybe a Hawaiian roll. Or rolled inside one of Price's many cigars. Kidding (not really). I knew what you meant.
And grey sweatpants...yes please! I am salivating over here. Literally drooling. And it's only grey sweatpants. No shirts. No shoes. Just sweatpants and muscle. (my god I need to go touch grass).
These are...spicy. How could they not be? It's our favorite men in nothing but grey sweatpants.
For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE
Task Force 141 x Reader
Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): established relationship, suggestive themes, swearing, invitations for sex, dirty thoughts, sexual situations, married life, fade to black
Word Count: 2k
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
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John Price
“It’s bedtime. Bath. Pajamas. Teeth.”
“But Dad! Lucy and I—”
“Bed.” You grin into your glass as John ushers the children out of the living room. “Come on you two. I want to kiss your mother.”
“Ew. Gross!” the kids screech in unison.
The trio disappears down the hallway. You hear water running and the laughter of your children. John eventually emerges thirty minutes later. He runs his hand over the top of his head, sighing heavily.
When he enters the living room and notices you, he grins mischievously. His body is on full display. Broad chest with a lovely dusting of dark hair that trails downward to disappear beneath the band of his grey sweatpants. John is all thick muscle. A wall of strength. You’ve always loved that about him. How he seems to take up so much space or the way he crushes you with his body when he goes in for a snuggle.
John plops down on the sofa beside you. The moment his ass hits the cushion, John grabs for you. You giggle, playfully pushing at your husband as his weight tips you back, pinning you to the sofa.
“The kids,” you protest with a whisper.
“They’re sleeping,” he replies just as softly, keeping you pressed beneath him.
John goes in for a kiss. It is sweet. Slow. Deep. Completely indulgent. There is so much of him. And his scent is everywhere. It fills your lungs. Makes you weak.
Your lips part and John slips his tongue inside. You start to soften, to lean into his kisses. Each is salt-laced passion. A tease for later. He might have you pinned against the couch, and his tongue down your throat, but John will move this behind a locked door.
As John goes in for another kiss, the sound of a door unlatching comes from the hall. John freezes and you go still beneath him.
“Fucking hell,” he mutters.
Pushing up to a more seated position, John addresses the offender with a raised voice. “You best be in bed.”
There’s a gentle squeak, and then a door closing.
John sinks back down, resting his forehead against yours. He sighs heavily, and you give him a quick kiss. He returns it, and then snakes an arm under your back. He hauls you up and into his lap. You straddle him, hands pressed against his firm chest.
Through the sweatpants, you can feel his hardness pressing against your thigh. John’s hands roam downward to cup your buttocks, squeezing.
“Ready to take this elsewhere?” he asks, grinding his hips upward.
You have to stifle a moan.
“Please, John.”
With a light slap to your ass, he lifts you off his lap and onto your feet. The ground is solid. Steady. But then John’s hands return, and then you’re away, being guided down the hall to your bedroom.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
You snuggle into the couch and crack open your paperback book.
Everything is in order. You have a glass of wine, a bowl of snacks, the tableside lamp on, and a cozy blanket. It’s late, but it’s officially the weekend. There will be plenty of time to relax.
“Reading out here?”
You glance up, and find Kyle in the entrance of the hallway, leaning against the wall. He’s shirtless. Without shoes. Just him, his freshly showered skin, and a pair of grey sweatpants. Kyle absently scratches at his chiseled stomach, head slightly tilted as he waits for your answer.
You can’t help but focus in on every line of muscle.
“Babe,” he prompts, laughing.
“Sorry?” you reply, blinking.
Kyle laughs again, the sound sweet. He strides forward, coming to a stop beside the sofa. He taps the side of his mouth. “Got some drool.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you giggle, checking with a quick wipe with the back of your hand.
Kyle’s smile is infectious. You can’t help but match it.
“Can I join you?” he asks, already lifting the blanket.
“You’re not going out with the boys?”
Kyle shakes his head. With one hand he lifts the blanket, and with the other he grabs your legs and lifts. He slides in, and drapes your legs over his lap before returning the blanket to drape over your body. Keeping one hand under the blanket, Kyle rests his hand on your inner thigh. It stirs heat in your core.
“Tomorrow,” he yawns. “Simon has a sick kid.”
“Bummer.”
Kyle shrugs, draping his over arm over the back of the couch. His hand on your thigh is a brand, and it’s only made worse when he starts massaging.
“Is it a spicy one?” asks Kyle, nodding toward your book.
Yes.
“Maybe,” you say slowly.
Kyle smirks, and then the book is out of your hand.
“Kyle!” You reach for it, but he twists, blocking your forward momentum.
He examines the pages in front of him. Heat rushes into your cheeks. As he reads, his eyes widen.
Kyle’s mouth drops open.
“What?” you prompt. You try to snag the book but he blocks you.
He glances at you. “Are you aware of where he’s putting that gun?”
“It’s fictional.”
“When you ask me to recreate things—”
“Kyle—”
“—is this what you’re talking about?” His gaze goes from you to the book and then to you again. “I’m down for a lot of things, love, but I’m not sure I’m down for that.”
Pushing off from the couch, you snatch the book out of Kyle’s hands. He surrenders it easily, a smile on his perfect face. The blanket is a crumbled mess beside him, but that’s not what you’re focused on.
The grey sweatpants have shifted, exposing more of the deep v of his pelvis. But it’s not just that. Kyle is hard. That is very clear.
He leans against the back of the couch, throwing both arms out to rest over the top. Flexing his hips, Kyle puts himself on display.
“I’ve got something else I can put inside you.”
John "Soap" MacTavish
A delighted shriek comes from the kitchen.
Johnny emerges, completely unbothered even with the two children in his arms. He has the oldest child, who just turned five, sideways and tucked under one arm. The boy has a wicked smile of his face even as he wiggles, trying to free himself from his father’s grasp. It’s fruitless.
The other child, a boy of three, keeps shrieking with delight even as Johnny lifts him into the air by his ankle. He is upside down, arms flailing, his brown hair hanging below him.
Johnny doesn’t even blink. Doesn’t even break a sweat. He carries the two of them like it’s nothing.
He’s almost completely naked except for a pair of grey sweatpants that hang low on his hips. They show off the deep v of his pelvis, and the dusting of dark hair that spreads over his chest and descends downward. You’ve touched that chest so many times. You know it as well as you know yourself.
Johnny’s gaze is on the television, watching the football match. The kids still shriek and playfully claw at him. But he remains unbothered.
Sitting there on the sofa, you consider that a third kid might not be so bad. You’d give him a small army if he asked.
Johnny glances away from the television, and when his gaze lands on you, it is entirely knowing. Heat curls in your belly, and his smile widens.
“Found these gremlins digging in the pantry,” he says, indicating the kids by hoisting the three-year old higher into the air and squeezing the other tighter against him.
Both kids giggle manically.
“After brushing their teeth.” Johnny tuts. “What’s to be done?”
Both children continue to giggle, not answering their father.
“Sounds like it’s time for bed,” you muse.
The children groan.
“But I’m not tired,” moans the five-year old.
“Too bad,” laughs Johnny. “Come on.”
He doesn’t put them down. He carries them like that all the way to their bedroom. Even from your spot on the sofa, you can hear their manic giggling. After a while, it quiets down, and Johnny emerges from the hall.
Instead of sitting down on the couch next to you, he grabs the remote and shuts off the television.
“Not interested in the game?” you ask.
“Nope. Want something else.”
His sultry smile tells you enough.
Slowly, he approaches, coming to a stop in front of you. He offers his hand, and you take it. With little effort, Johnny brings you to your feet, and hauls you close. Your free hand immediately rises, pressing against his chiseled stomach.
“What is it that you want?” you murmur, already knowing the answer.
His hardness presses against your belly, his voice going low and gravelly as he speaks. “I’d like to spend some time between those gorgeous thighs.”
“Doing what?”
“Whatever I very well please.”
Simon "Ghost" Riley
This is agony. A terrible joke.
Simon is right there. Sweaty. Shirtless. In nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants.
He’s completely in the zone. Heavy metal blares through the stereo’s speakers, drowning out the sound of his gloved fists striking the punching bag. Morning light pours in from the open window, giving Simon an ethereal glow.
You watch from the doorway, chewing on your bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to pounce on him. Simon is all muscle, and not in a gym rat way. He is thick everywhere. You want to lick the sweat from his skin, to drop to your knees before him, and tug those grey sweatpants down.
You know what you’d find. And it sounds delicious.
But he is in the zone. And you won’t disturb him.
Pushing down the naughty thoughts, you start to turn away, to return to the kitchen and find something to eat for breakfast.
The music abruptly cuts off.
“See something you like, love?”
Simon’s raspy voice draws you back to the room. With one hand on the doorframe, you meet his gaze, and promptly melt into the floor. He has a cocky grin on his face, and his shoulders heave slightly from exhaustion.
You lick your lips. “Always,” you reply, fingers digging into the wood.
Simon’s gaze scans you. You feel exposed, like he can see through your clothes. It’s knowing. Amused.
“What is it?” you prompt, staring just as hard as he is.
Simon removes one glove and then the other. He tosses them to the side, never taking his eyes off you.
“Come here,” he says.
You don’t move.
Simon arches a single eyebrow. Instead of repeating himself, he gestures with one finger, indicating that he wants you to come to him.
Heat rushes from your cheeks down to your toes. Slowly, you peel yourself away from the door, heading for him. Simon’s natural swagger is alluring, and those sweatpants sit so low.
Just one tug. That’s all it would take. And you’d be able to take him in your mouth.
As you approach, Simon reaches out, grabbing your waist, tugging you close to him. You instinctually hook your finger in the waistband of his grey sweatpants.
Simon smirks.
You inhale deeply, savoring the manly musk of him.
“Hungry?” he asks.
“Not for breakfast,” you sigh.
“For something else then?”
You nod.
Simon leans in but doesn’t kiss you. He holds back slightly, lips curved into a hint of a smile. “Want to hear what I have in mind?”
“Yes,” you breathe.
Simon presses his thumb on your bottom lip. “I can fill that mouth.” His thumb drops away from your lips, and trails over your chin before brushing over your stomach. “And belly.”
His gaze stays on you. “What do you think of that, love?”
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oreo-creampie · 1 year
Text
‘𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐥 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬’
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: size kink, teasing/mocking/encouragement/light degradation, toji bites you once, daddy/mama/princess, toji is very cocky with how you're boosting his ego, big dick toji struggling to get all of his cock in you, pain kink, choking, squirting, mind break, restriction but toji uses his size and weight to do so, manhandling, very light objectification, cock drunk!reader, pussy drunk!toji
𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧: Toji getting turned on by how small the reader is compared to him and then fucking them senseless?
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Pinning your wrists above your head with one large, calloused hand. "Your sloppy little cunt is so beautiful takin' my cock. I knew she would be the moment I saw you." His thick cock stretching your sloppy sensitive cunt loose is already overwhelmingly after he just put it in.
"So fuckin' short, the way I can bend you in two and fuck you stupid. Nnng!" Toji keeps his groans low trying to hear you whine.
Twisting your hips, gliding your tight cunt on his cock. You can feel the soft ridge line of his cockhead tugging on your tight cunt. He's about to slip out when Toji rocks his hips forward, stroking your sweet spot, and reaching too deep.
Your toes curl, eyes rolling back, crying from the intensity. Toji scoffs, "I've just started lil mama n' you're strugglin' to take my fat cock already." Letting go of your wrists, sinking his thick fingers into your squishy hips’ crease. "Pitiful crybaby, aren't ya?" He rocks his hips forward, his well-defined abs clenching.
He groans, getting you off with the raspy sound. Each taunt, moan, and tremble of his large muscular body pushes you to take more from Toji. You can't get enough of overwhelming him with your cunt. Ignore the impending sense of breaking in his hands.
Toji could fuck your cunt into a mindless sleepy mess with your cunt gaping, dripping cum. You'll be sore, wanting more when wake up. "Can't help it, you're so big!" You can see his ego swell with his growing cocky smirk.
He lifts your hips off the bed. "Lil mama that was just half.” Thrusting forward, his balls heat your ass. Your eyes widen, jaw drops, digging your nails into his hard pecs. Scratching his chest, leaving pink lines leading towards his well-defined abs.
You whine in disbelief. "Daddy!" You can feel him beneath your belly button. Is he really that deep? “Too full! Too nnngg! Can't! Gonna break!" Toji roughly chokes you, lifting you off the bed and holding you upright.
You're a cock drunk flesh-light from how he roughly bounces you on his cock. Shifting his body, pressing your back to the wall, pinning you by your hip and neck. Your eyes roll back when your clit brushes his navel.
His large thumb under your chin forces you to look up at him. "You were too tight for me to get that last inch innnnn!" Clenching him, Toji shutters, closing his head, dropping his head to kiss you.
Splaying your fingers on his thick pecs and hard abs, feeling the latter flex with each thrust. You can't wiggle away from any of his thrusts, he's too big and strong. Breaking the kiss, loosening the grasp on your neck.
Crooning, "Such a tiny slut takin' all of my cock so well. And here you were whining it's too much." Dropping his hand to your hip, sinking his fingers into the taking the full brutal force of head rough hit from his cock.
Drowning you in an intense pleasure bordering on painful. "Is it! NNn" Is all you can manage, getting off on how small you feel in comparison to him. Toji is looming over you, pinning you to the wall. Bullying your squirting cunt with his fat veiny cock.
"Fuck lil princess your cunt is gushing drenching my balls n' making such a mess." Toji glides his cock out with a loud squelch. Firmly holding you to the wall by your squishy hips, dipping his head between your thighs.
Toji groans stuffing his face into your dripping cunt. Gliding his tongue into your sensitive sloppy cunt. “You taste so fuckin’ good mama.” Sucking on your clit, groaning, your toes curling from the sweet vibration.
Slipping his tongue into you, curling it, stroking your sweet spot. Squirming, his arms flex restricting your hips. You were going to feel him long after he went back to his apartment. "Wanna cum!" It drives you wild how you can feel him smirking into your cunt.
Your neediness and easily manhandled stature stroking his ego. "Greedy whore." Biting your thigh, close to your fat cunt. Sucking harshly, biting down hard when he pulls away. Crying, "Please!" He lets go, kissing the throbbing bite.
Pulling you off the wall, throwing you onto your bed face down. Grabbing your hips, "Hmm won't let up easily you're too damn short. Fuck you look so damn breakable, makes me want to ruin ya more." Stuffing a pillow beneath your body.
Lining his cock up, gliding it between your puffy wet lips. "Nnn the things you're makin' me feel princess. Don't get mad at me if ya can't walk after this." Rocking his hips forward, he fails to get the last couple of inches in on the first thrust.
"Wanna make your too tight cunt take my fat cock until she's gapin', drippin' cum." Hunching over you, grabbing your hair, yanking your head back. Using his weight in his thrust.
His large body stifles the lurch forward your body should have taken. "Hnn it's so damn easy to pin you down and fuck you. It's not even fair to your poor little cunt is it?" This angle adds more pressure, each stroke gliding over your sweet spot making you forget your name. And everything else but Toji.
He groans, "How is ya getting tighter lil princess? Fuck ya gonna cum again so easily? Am I just that good? Ya love my cock that much you wanna soak me again?"
oreo-creampie’s m.list
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nighttimealone · 4 days
Text
Cw: Nsfw (gym owner+ your personal trainer Simon)
Simon notices you the moment you step into the gym. nervous, pretty, looked entirely out of place. He greets you with a nod and a gruff “Hello” when you saunter to the counter and look up at him timidly. Gleaming doe eyes meeting his and a bit intimidated by his presence.
“I want…want to sign up for the course…” your voice comes out soft and quiet, still a bit scared by the wall of man in front of you. His lips curl upward slightly, though his schedule is pretty tight already, but he doesn’t mind squeezing time out just for a cute and beautiful girl like you.
“The only time I’m free now is 21:00.” Simon said, asking if you’re okay with it, and you agree without a doubt. This is the gym closest to your place, and has the highest rating among others, you don’t mind if the session will start a bit later in the night.
He’s a great personal trainer, like the what the comments say on the internet. He’s meticulous, knows how to effectively improve your stance. You’re not sure if it’s normal for personal trainers to stand this close when you’re squatting, so close that you can feel the heat radiating off him, his breath fanning on the nape of your neck. maybe he just wants to make sure you won’t accidentally hurt yourself, you think to yourself after few sessions with him.
Simon can’t forget the first session, you step into the gym with the sports bra and gym shorts, hair tied into a high bun that shows off your flawless neck, he wonders how smooth it will feel when he runs his fingers along it. His chest touches your rear when you’re lifting weights, “In case your grip slips.” He tells you when he sees the confusion in your eyes. His eyes glued on your hips when you just finished few reps of lying leg curls, ass cheeks so nice and supple, you breathe a bit fast as you keep lying on the training machine, unaware of him try not to form a boner from ogling at your moist lips and the contours of your body.
You’re a bit frustrated with the progress you made so far, asking him if you’re not working hard enough. Your slight pout is too adorable, and he resists the urge not to swipe his thumb over your bottom lip. “You’re doing alright, give your body some time to build muscles.” Simon reassures you, but he can still see the chagrin on your face. You’re stressed out, he can tell, and as your personal trainer, it’s his job to help his student unwind, yeah?
The disappointment and anxiety are thrown to the back of your mind when he sits on the bench in front of the mirror, two fingers deep inside you, twirling and pressing the gooey spots with you moaning on his lap.
“Look at the mirror, sweetheart, look how beautiful you look when your little pussy’s swallowing my fingers.” His other hand move to your chin, turn your head towards the mirror. You can see his smug smile even with that disposable mask on, his fingers shoved deep into your cunt, bring out your profuse juices when he drags his fingers out. The scene is too embarrassing, your cheeks flush with arousal and shyness when you shift your gaze away from the mirror.
“Look at the mirror, love.” His tongue clicks twice, tone firm without any space for you to reject, so you obediently look back, let out a high-pitched sweet whine as you watch how his cock sinks into your tight cunt, pussy lips pushed aside to fit his fat cock. “Fucking pussy so tight, so perfect…fuck…” He inhales deeply, landing a soft swat on your bum and makes you yelp at the comfortable sting.
He definitely didn’t choose to schedule your session this late, that no one will be in gym except you two, so he can bend you over every surfaces here and fuck you till you squirt all over the nearest wall. His hips never cease, shows you how much stamina and strength he has as the best personal trainer. Pinning you over the machine you did lying leg curls, the angle of the it allows your ass to arch up and let him drive his pierced cock deeper, each piercings knead and glide through your spots one by one every time he slams his hips back.
When your thighs’ twitching even harder than they were after your leg days, you looking up at him with dazed eyes, entirely blissed out from how many mind blowing orgasms he gave you, Simon lifts you up again, easily maneuver you to hook your knees over his elbows, he pushes his cum-drenched dick inside again, still rock hard and ready to wrench yet another release from your heavenly cunny. He walks you to the mirror again, every steps makes his hips bucks and cock thrust up in the force, and all you can do is moan and whimper. “too much, too much Simon…”
But He only huffs out a laughter at your words while he stops in front of the mirror, giving you the full view to the reflection—your fucked dumb expression, thighs spread widely and supported by his strong arms, pussy swollen and clit peaks out from the folds, yet your tight walls still massaging his cock nicely as if you’re trying to please him.
“So perfect, princess. look just right when you’re in my arms.” Simon presses a kiss to your shoulder, adjust his grip and let your weight help him to reach the deepest, the tip of his shaft rest against your cervix. “Let’s have the next round on the leg press machine, yeah? I know you hate doing leg press the most, maybe you’ll be more pliant the next time, because you know how I’ll make you soak that seat after the session ends, hmm?”
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cherry-hulu · 13 days
Text
— NDA
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Synopsis: Face planted in the sheets. Mingyu thrusting roughly behind you, constantly hitting that oh so sweet spot. Post concert depression who?
Warnings: Idol!KMG x Fem carat!reader, post concert sex, unprotected sex, underskirt, blow job, face, fucking, pet names (princess, baby, good girl), belly bulge, throat bulge, size kink, lmk if I missed anything
When a staff came up to you, pulling you to the corner and asking you about what you'd think about a special backstage meeting. You definitely did not thought that it would come to this. You didn't even expect to be invited. All you knew was that you and Mingyu have been meeting eyes all throughout the concert and that your tummy could definitely be mistaken for a butterfly conservatory with how wild it was in there.
And now it feels like your guts were being rearranged to accommodate Mingyu's size. Creating an indentation of his cock, carving his own— not so little— space within you.
It all happened so quickly. One moment he was pulling you aside and the second he was pushing you up against the door, body to body, skin to skin, having an aggressive make out session. Nothing about it was gentle. Eager masked by aggression motivated each movement done to each other.
You gasped as he kisses down your neck, down to your cleavage while sliding down the sleeves of your pretty blouse alongside your bra. With one hand, and lips attached to your skin, your mounds were exposed to him in no second. He'd done this a hundred times— more than enough to know that he doesn't have that much time.
So he rushes. Picking you up, your legs wrap around his waist in instict causing your clothed cunt to slightly rub on his abs causing both of you to moan.
Mingyu lays you down on the couch as he takes his shirt off before diving back into your chest. You moan as your hands touch all over him. Feeling his skin, his muscles, his biceps as he grinds on you. With your skirt lifted slightly up, his hard on slots perfectly between your clothed cunt causing both of you to moan during the kiss.
You palm him, holding his heavy cock in your hands before kneeling in front of him and pushing his pants and boxers down to reveal him. Standing proudly and sticking against his stomach, tip red and angry with sploches of pre-cum. With no hesitation you take him in, eyes keeping contact with his— just like how you were during the concert.
"Fuck. There you are again with those damn eyes." Mingyu mutters as he grabs the back of your head patting it down. "Such a good girl, getting on her knees for me without command. You really want me that bad huh? Enjoy me princess, not alot of people get this chance." As he watches you take his cock.
You do it slowly as to enjoy the moment and also because it would be impossible to take him in one go. And Mingyu was so obsessed with you. His hands wrapped around your throat feeling the bulge caused by him, small tears running down your eyes as you look up at him with doe eyes. "Fucking perfect."
Slowly you start to move, bobbing your head forwards and backwards. You had a slow pace, adjusting to his size careful on not going too hard incase you might choke. It didn't took long before Mingyu grabbed your head and started facefucking you instead.
Throwing his head back, your cunt throbbed even more, a visible and prominent wet patch on your panties as you saw him. The hand on your back, the weight of his cock in your mouth, his thrusting motions. It was all so hot.
He thinks the same as he looked back down at you, looking up at him with eyes big, mouth wide open stretched around his cock. "Shit baby you're so fucking hot." He mutters before pulling out. Cock immediately standing back up against his stomach. He was rock hard.
"Wan' more please.." You whimper straightening your posture as you look up at him more, pouting. "You'll get more princess don't worry, but right now I want nothing more than your pussy." He says as he lays you back down, bending your knees and lifting your skirt up slightly giving him a perfect view of your clothed cunt.
Due to the hot weather in South Korea, you opted to just wear panties out and decided to just be more careful with your movements. "What a slut, walking around with no safety shorts on? Jumping at my concert, while giving me those eyes? You were just waiting to be fucked weren't you?" Mingyu says as he pulls back the middle of your panties before letting it snap back and rubbing on the wet spot right after.
He lifts the panties off you immediately revealing your throbbing pretty pussy. "Pretty and pink, perfect princess." While rubbing your bud.
Coming near you, you spread your legs immediately accommodating his size. Mingyu slaps his fat cock on your pussy a couple of times, teasing the tip on your entrance before slowly pushing in.
It felt so surreal, he was stretching you so much. Immediately, your upper half lifted off the couch, mouth hanged wide open as he eases into you. His hand wraps around the whole circumference of your waist making him harder "So small baby."
Propping your legs on his shoulder after easing himself in. He started off slowly before gradually speeding up as be remembers the limited time. It didn't took long before the room was echoing with the sound of skin slapping and your load moans and whimpers that just gets Mingyu to fuck you harder each time.
"S.. S.. So.. B.. Big.. M.. M.. Min.. G.. Gyu," While he fucks you relentlessly. He rubs the bulge on your stomach as he chuckes lightly "Weren't you just talking relentlessly earlier? Where'd that go?"
He flips you around—penis still lodged in you—now face planted into the couch as he fucks and reached you deeper and harder. The furniture now moving inch by inch away from it's original position. His hand rests on your back, while his other hand lifts your skirt up and spanks your ass loving the way it turns red.
"I.. I'm cl.. close," You whimper. "Me too baby, me too." Mingyu responds as he fucks you harder than possible. A few more thrusts and you were creaming all over him creating a white ream in between your connection. One more hard thrust before he pulls out and cums all over your back, jacking off lightly to ride his high.
Resting his fat cock on atop of your but, he kisses your back lightly as he whispers you praises and affirmations. "Did so good baby, 'm so proud of you."
Mingyu turns your around and sees your fucked up state. Kissing your forehead, he spreads your legs around him once again startling you as your eyes open wide. He starts to go down your body as he looks up at you witha smug look on his face. "What? I'm just getting you your moneys worth."
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pedantic-poison · 1 year
Text
Delicious | LN4
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pairing: fem sainz!reader x lando norris
genre: SMUTTTTT, 18+ MINORS DNI, p in v, fingering, light choking, use of pet names (darling, baby, sweetheart, good girl, etc), cream pie, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it y'all!!!!), language, hold the moan vibes, dirty talk, Lando being a hoe
requested: yes!
word count: 3.9k
author's note: i LOVE me some brother's best friend trope
When your older brother first joined McLaren, you were unbelievably proud of him, so, naturally, you moved heaven and earth to make it to his first race with the team. Meeting Lando, you finally understood why all of Carlos' stories from before the season started were about his new teammate, and how much he made him laugh. He was friendly to you, and kind, and had a knack for making sure you never felt out of place. He also made your chest go a little tight, but you chose to ignore that feeling. Best not to complicate things for your brother.
It's been years since you first met Lando, and you can't quite use that excuse to convince yourself you need to avoid Lando. You still try, certainly, but it doesn't really carry the weight it used to, not with Carlos at Ferrari now. Would it still be messy? Maybe. Would it be a complete shit show? ...Probably not, right?
That little tendril of doubt created just enough space for that weird feeling Lando elicited to bloom. And now, with the Summer break giving Carlos time off, he's invited Lando to your family's home, for an entire week.
"Morning," the sound of Lando's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. As if it wasn't already bad enough that he was staying in your house, now Lando had the audacity to show up in the kitchen, voice gravely from sleep, with a pair of gray sweatpants hanging low enough on his hips to show the V-line of his muscles there. Your eyes trailed up his torso, allowing yourself to indulge in his tan skin and taut muscles for just a moment, before your gaze met his. A knowing look danced across his face, eyes glinting with mischief, as he smirked at you over his mug of coffee.
"Oh, um, good morning," you coughed out, embarrassed at having been caught. "How'd you sleep?" you managed to force out.
Lando took his time, finishing his sip of coffee before answering, "Slept alright. Couldn't fall asleep for a while, for some reason, though." You couldn't quite decipher the look on his face while he said it, but he didn't give you enough time to overthink it. "You?"
Your face heated immediately at the reminder of what exactly you'd been doing last night, instead of sleeping. "F-fine, thanks." It had been four long days where Lando had made himself seemingly unavoidable. Even at night, when you could close your door to the rest of the house, and lock yourself away, your thoughts strayed back to Lando no matter what you did. Last night, the ache in your core had gotten so unbearable that you'd touched yourself to the thought of him. It seemed that even the walls of your room couldn't quite keep Lando out.
"What's got you thinking so hard over there, Sainz?"
You schooled your expression, refusing to let him throw you off balance again. "Wouldn't you like to know, Norris." The coffee mug in your hands hid your face rather well as you lifted it to take a sip, leveling him with a look that you hoped seemed like a challenge.
Pushing off the counter he'd been leaning against, Lando took a step closer to you. "I really, really would, actually."
You allowed yourself to lean in for just a moment, inhaling the smell of him, before pulling back. "Too bad." Chair legs scraping against the floor as you pushed away from the table, standing and taking your mug and book with you.
"Oh, come on! You're really gonna tease me like that?" he whined, shouting at your back as you headed up the stairs.
"Gotta make you work for it, Norris!" you called back, retreating into your room once again, giddier than you'd care to admit, and telling yourself that you'd only left because you had work to do. Certainly not because you weren't sure how much longer you'd be able to hold on with Lando under the same roof.
Just three more days.
The loud splashes and laughter from outside drew your attention away from your book, for what felt like the hundredth time in two minutes. Sighing exasperatedly, you rolled over on your bed, craning your neck up to look out of your window.
Carlos and Lando were in the pool in the backyard below you, squealing like little kids as they hit each other with water balloons. You rolled your eyes at the childish behavior, even as you fought (and failed) to keep a smile off of your lips. You heard your father's voice ring throughout the house, and Carlos and Lando must've heard it too, because they quickly dropped their makeshift weapons at the call that they needed to get cleaned up for dinner. Your parents weren't terribly strict, but even they preferred for everyone at their dinner table to be fully clothed and not dripping everywhere.
Just as you'd made your way out of your room to head downstairs, you froze, finding a sopping wet Lando Norris in the hallway. Even after you (accidentally) ogled him this morning, you couldn't manage to keep your eyes on his as you watched the way the droplets of water fell off the ridges of his chiseled chest and torso. You hadn't quite noticed how close you'd come to running into each other, barely a foot of space between you, that seemed to shrink more and more the longer you stared. And you weren't the only one. The sundress you wore hung off your body in a way that made Lando want to memorize every line and curve of it himself. Looking wasn't enough - he'd always been more of a hands-on learner, anyways. And the way the gentle breeze swirled the skirt of it around your hips and legs made him want to find out if you were wearing anything underneath it. Made him want to rip anything he found there off with his teeth.
"Hermanita! Lando! Dinner in twenty minutes!" Carlos shouted up, from the sound of it in the kitchen, most likely helping your parents like the doting son he was. Helping, unlike you. Standing in the hallway, now only inches from Lando, chest rising and falling erratically as you tried to convince yourself that you should not fuck your brother's friend and former teammate in your parents' house with your entire family downstairs.
"Twenty minutes," Lando breathed, barely above a whisper. He took a final step forward, mouth painfully close to touching yours as his spread into a mischievous grin. "I can work with that."
His lips crashed into yours, hands gripping your face delicately as he did so, moving only after yours landed in his hair. Lando finally, finally, got his hands on those hips that had been torturing him, tempting him, for years, squeezing as he pulled you into him. Your fingers raked through his curls, tugging gently as you pushed him backwards into your room. He went willingly, grinning into the kiss at your enthusiasm as you kicked the door shut behind you, letting you take charge for the time being and falling to the bed when the backs of his knees hit it, hands dragging down your thighs as he went. For a moment, you paused, taking in the way Lando was looking up at you. Adoring. Reverent. Hungry.
His hands on your thighs urged you forward to straddle him, sliding his grip up your back to pull your torso flush with his. "God, these fucking tits," he groaned, squeezing you harder into his chest before sliding his hands around to your front, cupping them harshly. Through lidded eyes, you watched his hands, large, nimble, and veiny, knead your breasts while he hummed appreciatively, unable to look away from your chest for even a moment. "Been waiting to get my hands on you for so long, sweetheart," he heaved, speaking into your skin as his lips trailed over your exposed chest, just under your collarbone, punctuating the statement with a final, firm squeeze of your tits.
Before you could finish the whine building in you at the loss of his hands, Lando had yanked down the flimsy straps of your sundress, allowing your tits to spill out over the neckline. Lando swears he could come from that sight alone. "You're so gorgeous," he muttered, more to himself than to you, before looking back into your eyes, "so fucking gorgeous." His lips found yours again, stealing your breath as one hand reached up to ghost over your nipple, already sensitive and hardening from the cool air in your room, while the other lowered to rest on your waist, gently urging you to rock your hips against him at your own pace. "So," his kisses now landed on your jaw, "so," your neck, "beautiful. I think it might actually kill me," gently nipping at your pulse point before soothing the tender skin with his tongue.
Your breath had grown shallow from the attention he paid to your neck and chest, hitching as he tweaked your nipple just right, almost harsh enough to be painful but light enough to make you crave more. But what caused your breath to quicken was the feeling of Lando under you. Those strong, muscled thighs, bracketed by your own, felt so firm you couldn't stop your mind from wondering how they would feel if you ground yourself against them. The way they tensed as he moved, or restrained himself from moving as he tried to let you set the pace, felt so delicious against your thighs and through layers of fabric, you can't imagine how they would feel flexing against your core. Delicious as those thoughts were, they would have to wait for another time, because nothing was more tempting than the press of his hard cock against you, straining at the material of his swim trunks, the remaining water of the pool dampening your already wet panties.
"Shh, sweetheart, we've got to be careful," Lando startles you, the hand that had been on your tits gently closing over your mouth, and only then did you realize just how much noise you'd been making. Your cheeks heated at the realization, feeling your breath catching in your throat, rapid and uneven, whimpers and whines and a whole host of other, embarrassing sounds trapped beneath the firm press of Lando's large hand. You were so worked up that even that thought, the sheer size of his palm against you, how those thick, nimble fingers would feel between your thighs, made you whine louder, hips speeding up as you sought some kind of friction. Lando's eyes darkened as you ground yourself onto him, harder, faster, hand tightening around your waist and thighs flexing underneath you. He was holding back, you could tell, his restraint hanging by a thread, and every move you made threatened to fray that thread to its breaking point.
You wanted to make him snap.
There would be another time to savor this, to take your time, to memorize every inch of him, later.
You raised one of your hands from his broad shoulders, gripping the hand that covered your mouth and tapping twice. Immediately, Lando removed his hand, eyes filling with concern that he'd done something wrong, but before he could ask you were already whining again.
"Please, Lan," you begged, hips pressing down as harshly as you could manage. "Need you so bad, please, please," your voice was thin and breathy, and if you weren't nearly delirious from finally having this, having him, within your grasp, you might've been embarrassed by it. "Don't tease me, I c - can't take it."
Lando's head fell back with a groan, making no effort to silence himself as he did with you. "Fuck, darling, you want me that much, huh?" You nodded eagerly, hips continuing their grind as you felt Lando's cock twitch beneath you. "Such a desperate little thing, aren't you?" he asked, latching his mouth on the flesh of your breast, sucking a harsh mark into the delicate skin. Low enough that your family wouldn't be able to see, you realized, but dark enough that you'd have a reminder of him on your skin for the next few days. The thought made you flush with heat. The sudden bite of Lando's teeth on your tit shocked you out of your haze. "I asked you a question, sweetheart."
You blinked down at him, bleary eyed, "W-what?"
His grin was wicked as he looked up at you, "Aw, poor baby's already going cock dumb and I haven't even fucked you yet." Your cheeks heated, and he didn't give you the time to gather yourself enough to formulate a comeback. "I asked if you were a desperate little thing for me? You desperate for me to fuck you stupid, darling?"
A whine escaped your lips, unbidden, at his words, and the look in his eyes told you he wouldn't let you deny its cause. "God, yes, Lan, yes I'm so desperate for you, want you to fuck me so bad, I - fuck -"
The sensation of his fingers sliding your thong to the side scrambled your brains again, scattering any thoughts you'd managed to gather. The rough, calloused pad of his thumb brushed over your clit, and your body rocked violently into his hold, chasing the pleasure. "Keep talking to me, sweetheart, tell me what you want. Tell me all the filthy things my pretty little girl wants me to do to her," he whispered into your ear, lips going back to attacking your neck.
"W-want - want you to - ah- fuck me with your fingers, think about those p-perfect hands all the - fuck - t-time, want your thick fingers in me before you fuck me, Lando," you moaned out, pushing through even though your whines threatened to interrupt you.
"Good girl," he purred, sliding his middle finger through your folds, moaning into your neck at the feel of you. "So fucking wet f'me, darling, fuck," his left hand tweaked your nipple, as his right slowly sank a finger into you. The sound he let out was almost animalistic as he felt you clenching around him, reacting to the stretch that even one of his fingers made you feel. "Holy shit, you're so tight, baby," he lifted his head to be level with yours, wanting to watch your face as he touched you. "How am I gonna fit my cock into this tight little pussy of yours if you can barely take one of my fingers?"
The only answer you could give him was a needy moan, one that had his left hand going back up, not to cover your mouth, but to rest on your throat. "Shh, remember, sweetheart, you don't want your parents to hear us, do you?"
You shook your head fiercely, but immediately lost your train of thought again as Lando began to pump his finger in and out of you, slowly to let you adjust. His thumb landed firmly back on your clit, and the way he curled his long, thick fingers had him reaching a spot inside of you you'd never managed to reach before.
"What else do you want me to do, darling? Don't tell me you've already gone brainless? I've barely gotten started with you."
"Want more, Lan, want you to stretch me with your fingers so you can fuck me, want to feel you - oh, god," you barely managed to catch yourself before you screamed at the feeling of Lando pushing another finger into you. Even though he was aided by your wetness, Lando slowed his pace as he let you adjust again, easing into you as gently as possible as he maintained his circles on your clit.
"Want to feel me what, sweetheart?" he encouraged, curling his fingers to that same spot, this time hitting it hit his index and middle fingers and making your brain short circuit.
"Want to - Lan - w-want, I, fuck," you babbled, head falling to the crook of Lando's shoulder as you struggled for words.
"Come on, now, darling, be a good girl and tell me what you want. You do want to be a good girl f'me, don't you?" He chuckled lightly at how quickly you nodded, head staying buried in his neck.
"I- I want t-to feel you in me, feel your cock in me, feel you stretch me out with it, f-feel you fill me up - stuff me full with you, with your cum, leave me dripping with it."
The hand on your throat tightened harshly, briefly, before both of Lando's hands were off you and working on his swim trunks. "Jesus christ, baby, you've got a dirty little mouth on you. Such a perfect fucking girl for me, darling, such a dirty little thing, god you're perfect," he mumbled the praises into your mouth, stopping every so often to kiss you tenderly, hungrily, as his hands made quick work of the tie on his swim trunks, pulling them down enough to let his cock spring free. Your eyes widened involuntarily at the sight of it slapping against his stomach, the hard muscles of his abs and the red, leaking tip of his cock mesmerizing you.
You lifted your hips, allowing Lando to yank you closer to him until you hovered just over his cock, both of your hands bracing against his shoulders as one of his went under your dress to guide his cock through your folds.
"You want me to fuck you, sweetheart?"
"Yes, please Lan, please, ple-"
You had to cover your mouth with your own hand this time, the stretch of his cock making your eyes water, tears springing from them. Lando stared straight into your eyes as he sank you down onto his cock, bottom lip trapped between his teeth in a feeble attempt to silence himself. Both of his hands landed on your hips, gripping harshly as he held himself back from fucking up into you right away.
"God, baby you're so tight, you have such a perfect little cunt," he panted, eyes fixed on yours, not wanting to miss a single expression on your face. Finally, he bottomed out, the slow glide of his cock in you heavenly, fingers flexing against you as he forced himself to be patient.
A weak whimper left you despite the hand over your mouth as you slowly rose up, dropping harshly back onto Lando's cock and digging in your fingers at the sensation.
"Fuuuuuuuck," Lando ground out, hips bucking slightly up into you as you sank back down on him again.
It didn't take long for your legs to begin to shake, pace faltering as you grew tired. "Lando," you breathed out, head nestled in the crook of his neck again.
"Yes, darling?" His voice was thin, reedy, telling you he was just as affected as you were, even if he was better at hiding it.
"Can't - can't," your own gasp interrupted you as the head of Lando's cock hit a particularly sensitive spot inside you. "Too tired, need you to - god."
Lando chuckled, chest rumbling underneath your forehead, "You need me to do it for you, baby? You already too fucked out to move?"
"Please," you whined, unable to muster any embarrassment at the desperation in your voice. He knew he did this to you. Why bother trying to hide it?
Something in your neediness got to him, hands sliding up to your waist and squeezing as he gave himself a better hold on you. "That's a good girl. Don't worry, sweetheart, I've got you."
He lifted you off his cock, before slamming you back down onto him, hips fucking up into you harshly. The feeling of him manhandling you with ease was nearly enough to make you come on its own, but that combined with the way he kept hitting that spot inside of you, over, and over, and over again? You were so close you felt like you were going to explode.
And Lando knew it, too. Could tell from the way your hands scrabbled for purchase on his muscular shoulders, the way your head went limp on his shoulder as you gave him complete control over your body, from the way you clenched around him, and when he dropped one of his hands to graze a thumb over your clit as he fucked up into you, you were helpless to do anything but collapse into his embrace as you rode out your high.
Lando continued to hold you up by your waist, limbs sluggish and heavy, as he chased his own high, spurred on by your whimpers of overstimulation. But what finally pushed him over the edge was the sound of your voice, wrecked and fucked out, whispering weakly in his ear, "Please, Lando, please fill me up."
He came with a groan that he tried to bury in your neck, nipping lightly at the skin as he came down, chest heaving and moving you with it since you still hadn't managed to regain control of your own body just yet. The feeling of him painting your walls made you whimper, unintentionally clenching around him again, which elicited a deep groan from him.
"You keep squeezing me like that, darling, and you're gonna get me hard again."
You giggled, which earned you a playful swat on the ass from Lando, chuckling along with you as he stroked your cheek tenderly, admiring you in your post-orgasm haze.
"Lan-"
"Dinner is ready! Hurry up and get down here, we're starving!" The sound of your brother's voice jolted both of you out of your stupor, matching looks of panic on your faces.
Before you could say anything else, Lando whispers, "We're talking about this later tonight, sweetheart." Placing a kiss on your cheek, Lando lifts you off of him, hissing at the feeling, and setting you on your bed next to him before getting up and running across the hall to his room.
After you managed to muster the strength to move, you quickly fixed your dress, trying to make sure that your face and hair weren't dead giveaways for just having had the best sex of your life. You rushed downstairs, blaming your breathlessness on having run to dispel your mother's concern, and sat down quickly, trying to avoid any questions about what had taken you so long.
A few seconds later, Lando joined you, sitting across from you, eyes burning into you in a way that made you shift in your seat. That turned out to be a huge mistake, because just as your brother passed you the salad, Lando's cum leaked out of you as you realized belatedly that not only had you not cleaned up, but you hadn't even put your panties back on. You froze, quickly shifting back and squeezing your thighs together in an effort to stop him from seeping out of you, and miraculously, none of your family seemed to notice.
But the way your eyes widened told Lando exactly what had happened.
When your parents asked how the dinner was, you stammered out some poor excuse of a response, not really knowing how to speak to your family with Lando's cum dripping out of you.
Lando shot you a wicked grin, winking quickly enough that no one else saw it, and stared right into your eyes as he answered.
"Delicious."
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sweetteainthesummerx · 3 months
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wrapped 'round my finger !
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★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
pairings: quinn hughes x best friend!reader, quinn x sunshine!reader
warnings: angst and comfort, fluff, smut, fem!reader is described as smaller (shorter?), and swearing.
summary: you're the sweetest thing on planet earth, but you have terrible taste in guys. however, you've got the captain of the canucks wrapped around your pinky. too bad you don't see him that way...right?
trope: best friends to lovers, idiots in love, grumpy x sunshine, whipped boyfriend
word count: 1.3 k
notes: princess treatment is WHAT EVERY GIRL DESERVES!! also I just love quinn hughes :) happy reading!!
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
bsf! quinn hughes who absolutely is wrapped around your finger. he loves you so freaking much and he's so in love with you it's all over his face. bo and millsy take turns making fun of him, while petey watches his lovelorn expression with a teasing grin.
bsf! quinn hughes who treats you like a princess: he's always giving you his jacket when you pout because you're cold, even though he already told you to bring a sweater. he's always opening doors, cans of soda before he hands it to you. he grumbles when you flutter your eyelashes at him, but flushes pink anyways and does what you want.
bsf! quinn hughes who doesn't let you lift a finger when you're together. he does everything for you, because you deserve to be taken care of.
bsf! quinn hughes who has to watch you date guy after guy, something sour and heated twisting in his chest because they can't treat you right like he does.
bsf! quinn hughes who finally confesses his love for you after you complain about a guy who left you at the restaurant to pick up a package during your date, because he's so fucking fed up with you being unhappy and the fact he can't kiss you like wants to.
bsf! quinn hughes who kisses you hard and rough as you whine into his mouth and clutch at his shirt while he grips your hips hard enough to leave a bruise.
bsf! quinn hughes who doesn't let you go, instead picking you up and (gently) tossing you on the bed. he crawls up to lick into your mouth one more time before going down on you.
bsf! quinn hughes who's totally a munch, but only for you. he keeps going even after you cum all over his face twice. you're grinding against his nose, as he murmurs "just one more". you're all teary and fucked out, but he pulls two more orgasms from you: one with his fingers and the other with you canting you hips on his thigh.
bsf! quinn hughes who groans and throws his head back when he finally pushes himself into your heat, after you tell him you're on the pill. you feel so much better than his hand during roadies where he moans your name to find release. you claw at his back, grabbing at his biceps as you call his name. he wants to swallow you whole.
bsf! quinn hughes who has dreamed of you on your back in his sheets, your manicured nails scraping his scalp as he ruts into you. the pleasure is almost unbearable, and he shudders all over. he has one forearm above your head to hold his weight, the other pressed on your belly where he can feel himself moving within you.
bsf! quinn hughes who marks up your neck as you whimper and mewl at the overstimulation, trying to wiggle away. he mouths at your pulse, relishing in the way it thumps loud and fast.
bsf! quinn hughes who grunts and almost comes when you lock your legs around his waist, whining for him to fuck you harder. he grabs your chin so you can watch as he lifts one of your knees over his shoulder, both of you rolling your eyes back at the new angle.
bsf! quinn hughes who is enraptured as you come on his cock, crying and pulling him close. he murmurs, "good job, baby. that's it. ride it out". you finally settle down as he rides out your high as long as possible.
bsf! quinn hughes who is still incredibly hard and pent up, but your hole is too sensitive. he's ready to take himself in his hand, except you flip yourself over onto your tummy, tucking your chin over you shoulder with your ass in the air, all tired bedroom eyes and mussed hair. he tells you you're perfect as he fulfills another of his wet dreams. he makes a mess of you, and presses his lips to your spine as he finally releases.
bsf! quinn hughes who holds you close in the shower, as you give slow, languid kisses to his chest.
bsf! quinn hughes who asks you shyly to be his as he cuddles you to sleep from behind. you tell him yes, flipping to shove your face into his neck, hiding your massive grin. he smiles: he finally got the girl.
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
bf! quinn hughes who is way more publicly affectionate with you than anyone has seen him be, especially after you guys finally get together.
bf! quinn hughes who becomes so clingy that even his brothers cringe at the way he becomes an absolute baby when you enter the room.
bf! quinn hughes who loves being cooed and fussed over. he loves when you feed him after a long game, eating straight from your fingers as he leans back on the headboard of your shared bed as you sit on his lap, pushing bites of food past his lips.
bf! quinn hughes who is so proudly a loverboy. he always has to have a hand on your back, an arm around your waist or shoulder. petey jokes that his eyes are practically magnetic to you.
bf! quinn hughes who's not that tall - especially since he's surrounded by other bigger hockey players - but you make him feel like the biggest man in the world. you always tuck your tiny hand into the crook of his elbow, clinging to his bicep as the two of you walk in public. he loves how you need to tiptoe and tug him down to kiss him, despite the neck pain.
bf! quinn hughes who loves to toss you around like a ragdoll, safely, of course. he loves to manhandle you: throwing you over his shoulder playfully and slapping your ass as you shriek, swatting his broad back. he picks you up like you weigh nothing to plop you down on the counter to hear you yap as he makes breakfast. you climb him like a tree when there's a spider in your en suite bathroom.
bf! quinn hughes who loves seeing you wear his clothes, because you look so cute drowning in his hoodies. his favourite thing to come back home to is you wrapped up in one of his jersey's - a warm flush pleasant over his skin because you're wearing his last name so proudly - and a home cooked meal after a hard game.
bf! quinn hughes loves to make you laugh, and will talk hours with you even though he has a hard time opening up to anyone else. he also loves listening to you talk, because you're just so kind and good to everyone, and it shows through the loving way you speak.
bf! quinn hughes who loves when you compliment him. a "good job, quinny. you played real good today", or a "thank you for dinner, baby" or even "please don't shave your playoff beard! you look so handsome" gets him all hot and bothered.
bf! quinn hughes who for sure has a captain kink. it's a heat of the moment thing for you, when he's got his face tucked into your neck as he grinds down into you, and you mewl his name along with his title. he stops, and you slap a hand over your mouth in embarrassment. he tugs it off, teeth scraping at your jaw as he tells you to say it again.
bf! quinn hughes who is bossy - in bed and out - and you love it. you love when he tells you to dress nice for a date to your favourite restaurant, who orders your food for you because he already knows what you want, who tells you to buy something pretty with his credit card because he can spoil you that way.
bf! quinn hughes who just loves you so much!!
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.
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iwaasfairy · 5 months
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┌─ “ ! „ HEARTBEAT
tw. pseudocest, noncon, possessiveness, grooming?, age gap, blood, murder, a lot of trauma bonding
wordcount. 6k
a/n. thank yoUUUU rhi for betaing you are my favorite as alwaysssss I love you soooo much ♡♡
okkotsu yuuta x fem!reader
Blood is splattered on the ground of the dirty alley, and there’s another heavy thump when his kick once again lands on the kid’s skull and he moans in pain. He calls him a kid in his head because he’s got that shit-faced little attitude, and now an ugly gap where his front teeth used to sit, but he should be old enough to know better. As a couple passes by the narrow street, he shields things from view a little, before using the long edge of his sheathed sword to push the dumb, bloody face to the side. Because his eyes are starting to look like two overripe tomatoes from the impact, he couches down before the sandy brunet.
“You know what this is about?” Yuuta’s voice is hoarse. He hadn’t really noticed it before, but it’s been a busy week cleaning up your messes. Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t mind. If anything, it makes him feel sort of useful. You’re good and kind and don’t get into trouble on purpose — which is why he’s here late at night making sure things get handled. Niisan’s got it, after all. He doesn’t bother to clear his voice. “Hey.”
“Take my cash,” the young man below him now whistles through the missing teeth, teary eyes darting around as he pats his hand all over himself to look for a wallet.
Yuuta scoffs. “I don’t want your money. If I did, you think I’d waste my time beating your face in like you had it coming?” The anxious, almost nervous lilt to his own voice doesn’t escape him. If you could see him now, you’d probably say that he was enjoying this too much - and while he is, the idea of this getting back to you doesn’t escape his mind. It won’t though, logically speaking. The kid probably wouldn’t be able to see straight for a couple hours, and you will never find out. “I want to know why you’re hanging around Rika’s kid sister.”
“Kid? W- I don’t know any Rika!” He yelps when he tries to lift his head and gets the handle of the weapon hit hard onto the bridge of his nose again, adding more blood to the mess that’s running all over the bottom of his face. Yuuta really can’t see it, lifting his top lip in slight disgust. Handsome, where? Just as much as this boy isn’t really a kid anymore, neither are you. But you’re younger, and deserving of protection — is it really so bad he wants to imagine you as his baby sister for a bit longer before you start trying to escape from under his wings?
Not that you’re going to go anywhere.
“I don’t know a Rika,” the blond whines again now, hiding his face into his hands to drool and hiccup against the cold floor.
“Orimoto Rika, has a kid sister.” Yuuta bites back, patience running really thin.
“O-I- I kn- oh, we’re in the same uni prep class!” He gets up to close his eyes and focus all his attention on not just kicking against his skull until the answers fall out. He knows that, how else would he even know to ask? The head damage takes it a few seconds to make the guy continue, sniffling. “We’re friends- or- my friend knew her. I liked her so we hung out a few times.” Yuuta’s hand is cold around the worn handle.
He takes a slow breath, watches the cloud of air as he lets it out. The promise ring glints in the light of the street, and it’s all familiarity and instinct that makes him brush his thumb over it. “Were you serious with her? Or did you tell her whatever so you could fuck her? Hm? Did you fuck my little sister?” The brunet snivels and whines under him when his foot lands back right before his face, demanding attention.
“I won’t talk to her anymore, I swear! I swear I w-won’t even - it’ll be like I never existed. Please.” The pitiful whining he’s doing, groveling like a dog below him - sort of reminds him of a younger him. Someone who didn’t have a purpose yet, and was scared of everything for it. The heavy weight of the ring clings to his hand when he lifts it to unsheath the katana, seeming to wrap a comforting palm around his own. If he could, he'd tangle fingers with her.
“P-please, let me go home! I didn’t do- I wouldn’t touch your s-sister, I didn’t know.”
“I hate guys who aren’t serious with her.” He clicks his tongue, and has to spit out the nasty taste that this entire situation leaves on his tongue. The weight of the sword is barely an inconvenience when both hands wrap around the handle properly. He’s doing this for Rika and him. Always. “She deserves so much better.” A mean flash of possession crosses his thoughts - how no one except him will ever be good enough. But he pushes it back, because that has nothing to do with why he’s doing this. Nothing.
+
“Yuuta~” Her voice haunts when he closes his eyes.
He’s in the sandpit of the Children’s hospital, rocking back and forth softly on the edge of it as he waits. The sun makes the sand nice and toasty, it warms his feet when he plants them down. “Yuuta!” It’s instinctive, when he looks up at the familiar voice. Rika’s hair travels in a perfect arc behind her when she runs to make it catch the light like a halo. Pretty blue dress making the shine of her hair even brighter, cheeks rosy, and her eyes glittering diamonds when they find his and she crashes down next to him. Her scraped knee is proof that it’s too hard, but he can’t help but smile when her cheek touches his arm on the landing.
Something hits the floor with a loud thump.
Yuuta turns over his shoulder to watch. There’s a smaller child that’s chin down on the earth behind them two, thick crocodile tears threatening to spill when Rika gasps. “Rika neechan~ Wait.” You pout, straightening up quicker than you should to reach your hands out to her. The girl hurries over to dust your cheeks off and drag you along behind her. It’s such a nice day out, Yuuta’s sweater is just thick enough to make his entire body warm. He stares at your face a little too long, before glancing between you two.
You’re still rounder than she is, but it��s undeniably eerie. “Your sister?” He asks softly, and Rika grins wide. She gently maneuvers you by the hand to sit next to her, then pulls you into a hug.
Her lips are pretty pink when she licks them. “This is Yuuta. Say ‘hi Yuuta’.” You parrot your sister obediently, as she waves your hand around at him. “Me and Yuuta are going to get married. So you should be very nice to him, okay?” Her sweet cheeks are the exact same as yours, long lashes and big, knowing eyes that always have him staring. You just look absentmindedly at the grass when Rika holds you into her side, but nod.
He smiles softly when your big eyes find his again. And Rika giggles. “And she’s gonna be your sister one day, so you gotta protect her well. We’re gonna be one happy family, promise?” She extends her arm to hold out a pinky finger at him. “That’s what I want.”
+
His fingers are pressing indents into your arm. It’s unusual. Yuuta’s always gentle, he’s soft and cares, but today his hand is screwed almost protectively tight around your upper arm, and you can’t say that you hate the feeling. Maybe childishly, you want him to squeeze even harder - so you’ll have no reason to get out.
You don’t come here a lot. Not since the accident tore open the painful scarred memory of it, but even before then, it wasn’t exactly your favorite place. It’s at Yuuta’s gentle prompting that you even managed to dress, and now walk however slowly between the low stone walls. The rain taps impatiently on the umbrella above, as the older boy casts you a careful glance. Then slowly bends to sit on his ankles, and grabs your hand ever so softly, meeting your eyes. His hands, though big enough to dwarf yours now, are almost velvety when they clasp around yours. It feels like he’s exponentially grown, while you’ve stayed pretty much the same.
Partly the illness. Mostly the age.
“Think you can go on?” he softly asks, kind eyes sympathetically regarding you. Like he’s making a judgment call about whether to turn back after all - debating the long walk back to the hospital. “I’ll be right here with you.”
“You’ve already gone before, haven’t you?” Your voice sounds a bit accusatory, a bit pouty too. Can’t be helped. Yuuta could be a living saint and you’d still find it hard. He clearly doesn’t take it to heart, because he smiles. His one hand then moves up to ruffle your hair.
“It’s still hard for me too, though,” his lips quirk up in an almost smile, but you can tell he doesn’t mean it. It’s sort of comforting to know that even someone like him feels it. Of course he would. Your neesan was family, but Yuuta probably knew her better than you ever could. He was beside her when she got out the two times, and was waiting when she had to get re-admitted. He was there when she got hit— there’s a comforting brush of your cheek when he stands back up and the umbrella gets so much higher. Yuuta blinks. “Come. I think you can do it.”
Your chubby cheeks flood with warmth, as you take his fingers into your hands with a nod. “Okay.”
It’s like this that you wind up at the headstone, stepping through dredged earth that’s been walked on too much. It seems to cling to the bottoms of your shoes with intent - you squeeze Yuuta nii’s hand tighter at the sight of the family grave. It now holds three of your kin in a warm embrace under the several bouquets of wilting flowers, and however morbidly, you think that maybe you’ll be joining soon. You’re young, but it’s not lost on you when the nurses send each other pitying looks.
“Is this where neesan’s buried?” Your voice sounds pinched and small, and sort of pathetic. You imagine Yuuta nii cried when he came to the funeral, but he wouldn’t have whined. You’re whining. You don’t want Yuuta to get fed up with you. Not when he’s the last semblance of ‘family’ you have left. After a while of staring blankly at the stone, he nods, and turns over his shoulder to smile at you again, pulling you a little closer to him. Your arms loop around his waist, staring down at the pretty whites that shake under the rain. “Is this where I’ll be buried when I die?”
He freezes. You feel bad about the double take he does when his spine goes more straight, rigid limbs dropping by his side as a deep, uncomfortable breath makes its way out. Your hands wring together instead.
However long it takes for him to unlock his limbs is however long you breathe through your tears as they well up stubbornly along your lash line, before your head is pulled to his ribs into an embrace. He swallows back emotion himself. “That’s not- I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise. I promise.”
“I’m sick-”
“No.” His eyes glint with something silvery when he takes your face between both hands and lets your childishness wash over him, clenching his jaw. “What happened to Rika was an accident- I- I couldn’t do anything then. But nothing’s going to happen to you as long as I’m here. I need- you to believe me.”
You don’t flinch when he uses your cheek to turn your face his way, but the urge still sits. His eyes study your face too intently, like he’s looking for something he can’t quite find. “I promised that I’d be a niichan that protects you.”
Rain splatters into a million glistening flecks as it meets the headstone.
“Okay,” you say.
It isn’t lost on you that his jaw is set too tight as he drags you back by the hand towards his bike, fist clenched around the umbrella. He breathes a tiny, ‘Later, Rika’ before turning on his heel. You don’t manage the same. Your voice gets stuck in your throat, even when he helps you up onto the bike rack in the back, pulling your face into his chest too tight- squeezes you to mold against him. He smells nice for a teen boy. The kiss he leaves on your crown is gentle, and leaves a soft warmth on your skin — You doubt it is really meant for you.
+
The door pushes open as you’re putting clips into your bangs, tongue trapped between your teeth. You cast Yuuta a glance through the mirror when he lingers at the door, and try to smile. “I’m almost ready.” You’re no longer too keen on fighting, the longer the silent treatment drags on. After a while of watching you with his arms crossed over his chest — he walks over to your bed to plop himself down and lets himself fall backward.
“I’m sorry,” the noiret sighs at nothing in particular, as you put on a necklace and after debating for a second, some perfume. The noise makes Yuuta look, studying you when you turn. It’s easy to forget sometimes that Yuuta didn’t have to stay with you, and he sure as hell didn’t have to give up a lot of his youth to take care of you like he does. Like your other family refuses to do when all the cards are on the table. He catches your stare. “You know I love you. I… worry when you’re not right here where I can see you. We stick together.”
“I know.” Your smile only barely makes your lips move, but you do mean it. You just wish realizations like this didn’t always have to come at the cost of fighting. “For what it’s worth, I’ll probably always forgive you.” You try to laugh, and brush your hair out of your eyes a final time before grabbing your bag. “I’m only going to be out for a few hours, max.”
Yuuta frowns when he sits up. His dark hair is brushed out of his face, damp and soft from the shower. “You’re still going?”
You blank. “Yeah, Himari and Shota are waiting for me. We’re going to see a movie.” He only has to let his eyes travel over your body and clothing once, for you to read what he’s thinking. You yank the edge of your skirt a bit lower, and pull your shoulders up. “What, what?! I can’t go out looking like this? It’s basically the same length as my uniform, what’s wrong with that?!”
“I didn’t say anything,” he breathes back, empty eyes regarding you with a static sort of- indifference, you guess.
“You don’t have to, niichan! God!” You turn to walk out the room, but Yuuta grabs your wrist when you pass by the bed. Sat down like he is, eyes tracing you like a lion- Yuuta no longer looks like the boy that used to draw stars on the ceiling of your hospital room for your amusement. Your cheeks heat when he basically glares straight at you for your attitude, and mulls the answer around in his mouth. Your anger subsides as you take a breath. This is the guy who makes you fresh apple juice in the morning, and calls you up between shifts. Because he cares. He just cares.
“Can I please go, Yuuta nii?”
After a few seconds, he clicks his tongue, staring at the edge of your skirt before tugging at it too, barely hiding a frown you can see dig between his brows. “You know I don’t like that Shota kid?”
Your lips jut out. “Yeah…” It’s getting awfully close to time to leave. You take a step back just to get his hands away from you. It’s distracting, and this is your brother you’re dealing with. “But he’s really nice. He started high school already but he used to be in my class the last three years, so… so you don’t have to worry. He knows I can’t do everything because I’m sick and he says—”
“Yeah, I’m sure he says everything you want to hear… You’re smarter than this. You don’t actually believe that.”
“He’s my friend.” A friend that makes your heart beat a bit faster when he smiles at you, but what’s it to him? “He doesn’t lie.”
Yuuta grimaces when you stare him down. “Don’t tell me about teenage boys, I used to be one.” He bristles before sitting up straighter, and though he’s technically below you, you still feel his energy tower as those big, dark eyes stay on your face. “Are you really ‘going to see a movie’? Or are you just going to sit in a boy’s room all night while I’m worried sick-”
You’re about ready to walk out, but his fingers are still looped around your wrist. “We are going to the movies! Himari and I! Just because a boy is there- ugh! Niichan, don’t make it weird!” The heat burns higher on your cheeks when you ball your fists, ignoring the pressure behind your eyes. This is so embarrassing. “I want to go.”
It’s quiet for much too long, making goosebumps appear all over your exposed skin. Then he breathes. “Come here.” His voice has more of an edge than it used to. You used to like the way your name fell from his lips. You’re not so sure you do anymore. Instead of storming out and forgetting all about him, you stare back at the sharpness in his eyes. When he pats his lap with familiarity, you jerk a brow. But you sit. His breath brushes along your neck too softly where he’s seated. It tickles on the way down.
It almost feels like… like he could wrap his hands around your neck and squeeze until you stopped struggling.
Yuuta nii wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t.
Fingers come to your necklace, undoing it, and it drops into your lap on the pretty, blue skirt. It’s suddenly much too cold in the room, and you resist the urge to wrap your arms around yourself. It’s fine. You’re fine. Yuuta is family.
Still the untouched skin of your neck feels too exposed.
If he notices your rigid posture, he doesn’t bother fixing it. Just reaches, then pushes your head forward. The childishly familiar pink, bedazzled heart he holds up instead glints, swaying from where you left it on your side table for the night. “You get back at 9,” his lower voice sounds, “or else I’m driving out to wherever you are and dragging you back to my car.” When you don’t say anything in response, he brushes away your hair from your shoulders.
“Yuuta nii,” you start, clamming up when he drapes the dainty thing around your throat and does the closure for you. “I wasn’t going to wear that one tonight.” You don’t always want to wear whatever Rika left behind until infinity.
“I think you will,” he breathes back, and kisses your exposed shoulder. It’s less sweet, more something to punctuate his statement. If he wasn’t so familiar and soft, you’d immediately fight against the way his strong arms wind around your waist to anchor you in his lap. “Just wear it.” His hands stay against your skin, long after he’s finished. Too long, and after seconds of sitting in the tense silence, you jerk up off his lap to grab your discarded bag from the floor. The other necklace drops to the carpet somewhere, but you don’t care.
“Fine,” you bring out tightly, before giving him a last look. Your bottom lip trembles a slight bit, so you suck it into your mouth to make it stop. And tears sting at the corners despite yourself. “Later, then.”
“Tell Himari that niichan says hello. It’s been so long since she’s been here.” He gets up from your bed too, and you resist the urge to rush out the room before him when he steps around you. You can’t fight the feeling that somehow… you were just caught in your lie. Your phone beeps in your bag, as Yuuta nii disappears around the corner. Shota, probably.
+
Blood. The door creaks, swings against the wind.
Dead.
You hope he’s dead. Blood pools at the center of the showers, sinks down the drain too slowly. It sticks to the pretty porcelain tiles of the old school locker room before the water gurgles it down.
They’re dead.
You don’t have to question it before it’s confirmed. Before the heavy, silver cleaver is lodged into the side of the already ruined skull. All of them. All of the boys of the soccer team seem to be present, though you don’t want to try and count. Counting makes it real. This shouldn’t be. The heavy thump makes way for a gross squelch when he yanks the metal out, and keeps the body down with his foot.
The spatters on his face are still wet. You can’t help the way your voice comes out when you breathe in deep and try to keep the tears from spilling over. The cleaver’s red and sticky and so is his hand, up to his forearm, his forehead from wiping his hair away. All of it, ruined.
“Y-yuuta nii?”
The metal door of the locker slams closed with the wind and hits you in the back, sending you skittering forward a few steps before you force the air out of your lungs with a stuttered pant.
With a soft smile, he turns over his shoulder. “Shhh.” The blood’s crusted under his nails when he presses a finger to his lips, then waves you closer. “Help niichan out?” His eyes glint over, before his smile goes a little wider, and he whips the blood off the weapon onto the ground. “S’ your fault I had to do this after all. We can clean up together. Hm?”
Your breathing is so shallow that you can feel your heartbeat in between your ears. You aren’t sure why you nod. The guilt tastes bitter on the way down.
+
Rika was dead on impact. She didn’t have a chance, even after she fought so vehemently against what took your mom. You know that. Even if she didn’t get struck by misfortune then, she might’ve not lived past her teens.
Yuuta doesn’t seem to know. He also doesn't seem to consider the same for you either— letting you toy with the edge of his shirt where you’re curled into him in your too-small bed. The hospital wants you back for another check-up.
It’s true that you’ve already outlived your sister, but that doesn’t mean it’ll last forever. Yuuta nii doesn’t want to hear it. As he brushes your hair with his fingers, you scratch the arm where the IV’s always get attached with an absent minded pout. Until Yuuta notices, pouting down at you. “Are you still feeling dizzy? I can make you some green tea if you’ll let go of me for a few minutes. Lots of honey like you like.” You quickly shake your head.
To him this is final, the worst you’ll ever get, and in reality that’s probably not the case. You don’t tell him though. His deep eyes stay on you a little too long. “What’s wrong?”
Sometimes you wake up and can’t open your eyes past a blurry sliver, your head tight enough to make your skull feel like it’s caving in. Times where you have to clasp your stomach painfully tight to hold yourself together — stumbling in tears into Yuuta’s room. Like you’ll disintegrate in his arms unless you lock him around yourself. This isn’t as bad, but you still feel bad.
Feverish and cold all at once, achy where your stomach goes up and down. You can’t mention the possibility of having to go back into urgent care without aniiki spiraling, so you keep your mouth shut. “I don’t like green tea,” you guiltily admit instead, and stare up at him when he holds a few knuckles to your head, studying you.
His expression scrutinizes you a little tighter, before he pets over your crown. He presses a soft kiss onto your lips. It’s Rika that loved it, you want to say, but for some reason you can’t make the words come out. He sighs, slightly put out, but then nods. “If you’re feeling better later, maybe you can help Yuuta nii with the curry. Okay?”
“Mhm,” you smile up at him, and you can see how the muscles in his jaw unclench.
His soft hands cup your face intently, staring down at you too intently. It starts sweet, until the feeling of his breath dust over your face and you watch as he flicks his eyes all over you. “You look so much like her. I can tell now that you’re getting older though,” his thumb smoothes over your soft cheek. “We should see if there’s something in Rika’s stuff you can still wear.”
“Won’t be able to fit it anymore, niichan.” Your voice comes out apologetic, though you don’t know why.
“Hm. You might be right.” His look goes more distant before he pulls you closer. Legs tangled, arms loosely looped around you. “You’re still smaller than me though. Luckily.” He takes a deep breath, before nuzzling his nose into your crown to breathe long and deep. His warm hands trail over yours before squeezing. “I love you, you know that? Always will.”
You stare at the wall of mementos past Yuuta’s shoulder. Suffocatingly cram packed. Her pictures. Her music poster. Her pre-teen bottle of perfume you wear only on special occasions. Your hands stop toying with the edge of his shirt to brush instead along his forearm until you meet something that isn’t skin. Yuuta’s quiet, but his breathing is slightly pinched— you don’t mean to.
You glance between you two to the plastic your finger hooks onto. The bracelet she made in the hospital care ward for Yuuta that he still wears despite the fact that the color has long peeled off of the cheap beads. “You loved neesan, right?” Your lashes almost brush when you look back at him, watch him trap his tongue between his teeth for a moment as pink sits on his cheeks. His hand wraps around yours to tangle fingers.
“I… did.”
He swallows. “She made the hospital seem a little less lonely.” The mementos seem to stare at you from across the room as he speaks, and the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach refuses to fade. If anything, it gets more painful. Tighter. “We’re going to be together forever though. And I,” he squeezes your hand, voice fading to barely a whisper, “I love you. Love you so much.”
There's a cold slid over your fingers when he moves. You allow him to slip off the band, gently, and almost as if he wants to give it to you without you noticing, his fingers slide the cursed thing onto your hand instead. His smile is gentle, makes those dark eyes look a little less pressing. “When you’re cleared from going back to the hospital, we can find me a matching one. We still have to get married, right?”
The room feels cold.
“... Okay.”
+
“Let’s kiss?”
It’s too late to be early when the shared bed gets crowded over on your side. “St- I’m going to sleep, Yuuta nii. Stop.” You don’t open your eyes to the touch, definitely not to the gentle brush of his fingers over your lips when he gets too close. Always too close- it’s suffocating. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”
“Don’t be like that.” He sounds happy. He always sounds like that when it has to do with you, and it doesn’t take long for your eyes to flutter open when the thumb instead pushes into your mouth. “If we get married, this will be normal. Don’t pull back.” He pushes onto your tongue to make you hold it in your mouth all heavy and tasting of him, then leans in to push his forehead to yours. Deep, possessive eyes pinning you in place.
“You don’t want to?” It almost sounds mocking. You know you brought this on yourself. You asked to go home early, you asked to invite friends. Maybe this is payback the way big brothers give it. There’s tears that spring up anyway when his other hand slips under your shirt and he squeezes your soft belly. As the spit he wipes on your lips gets kissed away by an impatient sigh. “I’ve wanted to for such a long time. You wouldn’t ask me to wait more.”
“Yuuta nii. We’re siblings, aren’t we?” The ring glitters. Your hand is clenched into the front of his shirt as warm hands grab down your body— hands you love. Hands you trusted.
“Of course we are. That’s why I’m doing this, silly girl.” Hands that push your underwear down your round hips despite you fighting to keep them up. He giggles when you burn with embarrassment, before pressing kisses to your temple. “I love you. I love you, I love you. Who better to kiss you than big brother?” You shake your head, try to push- he doesn’t budge. Just keeps your body in place under his with his weight.
“G-get off of me, Yuuta! Stop being so weird!” You cry, pushing until he grabs your wrist and forces it down beside your head. He’s still smiling though, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Like you’re still a child acting out. It’s that which makes you squirm more, and the glare digs into your forehead when he gets on top of you. “Stop~ I don’t want to kiss.”
Instead he laces his fingers with your ring hand, as the other patiently flutters down to rub over your pussy. You don’t want to. You don’t. Yuuta just smiles when he tilts his head to regard you, and squeezes your fingers a little tighter. “Rika-chan asked me to take care of you. Don’t get so mad.”
+
It’s getting cooler and cooler and cooler the longer he stands. Pressed in the corner of the sterile, greenish blue atmosphere with white sheets draped over your body. He takes a long, deep breath until the nurse finishes up with the checks, taking freshly drawn blood away in a vial. “You’re the guardian?”
The red stands out against your complexion as your restless sleep drifts deeper— he shifts in his seat to lace his hands together. “Her big brother, yes.”
She doesn’t bother to pretend to care when tapping her clipboard, gives a distracted smile. “The doctor will be here within the next hour, okay? Please wait here until then.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Yuuta’s quick not to let the smile quirk up onto his mouth when she’s already walking out before he finishes. As soon as the door falls into lock he gets up from the uncomfortable chair to kneel by your bedside and grasp your hand.
Soft. Small.
He hates to admit that he could spend hours here by your side; but the truth is the truth. He could, and he has. And he will, until it is no longer necessary.
Yuuta kisses your hand with a gentle smile, feeling your heartbeat thump under his lips. You mumble, he swears he can hear his name. “I’m here. Niichan’s here.” He smiles a little more when the soft fingers wrap back around his hand and he watches your expression relax even in your sleep. He can’t help it, the soft thumping against his cheek makes his entire body warm.
You’re so alive, and so close- every cell in his body yearns to be beside you. He kisses the area between your thumb and pointer in an attempt to soothe the feeling of biting down entirely. Instead he clasps your hand with two of his before standing up. “You would have loved Rika.” His mouth tingles. “She would’ve hated you- but you would have loved her. I think she would have been a bit jealous though.”
He dips to press a soft kiss onto your lips, humming softly when your warm breath dusts over his cheeks. “You’re so cute.” A few years ago, you would’ve had visitors waiting for you. “I know you were looking forward to graduation, but I’m still here for you.” He places his hands on both sides of your face to hover over you instead of pulling back, can’t keep himself from it.
“You don’t want to leave your niichan, right?” It’s not your fault that everyone else wants you to move on. He’ll take you just as you are. He has to force himself to pull back before he kisses you again, so you don’t wake just yet. You will. And you’ll cry into his chest about missing your precious graduation, and about being stuck here again, just when you were getting better. He never much wanted you in uni anyway.
From his space sat on the edge of your bed, he can easily see how the blanket squirms. How the motion curls and wiggles until he easily pulls the sheet down your chest, then your stomach.
Two beady eyes stare up at him as he brings his face a little closer. The fly head is still clinging to your stomach, hasn’t moved from where he left it. By now it’s become an accessory every few months. It’s not strong enough to kill you— just barely enough to keep you believing you’re still sick, and that’s all he really needs. You need his care, need him. He resists the urge to pick the thing up at least until he can take you back home.
Instead he nudges it up a little higher, so he can place his palm onto your belly to stroke gentle circles in its place, feeling the heat through the gown. He can feel your heart bounce all the way down your body, it’s so cute. When the little fodder curse crawls onto your chest, lids shooting open as you gasp. “Yuuta nii-” Your eyes are lined red, and as soon as they find him you start bawling.
More than happy to let him hike you up from the bed and into his arms, where you bury your face into his neck. Your hiccups are so cute. It’s easy to kiss them quiet when you don’t have enough breath to ask him to stop. He’s sure this time he could slip his tongue into your mouth and you wouldn’t say a thing.
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slasherscream · 5 months
Text
She Likes a Boy (And I’m Not Just a Boy)
pairing:  jordan li x fem!reader
summary: You and Jordan are friends with benefits, and Jordan is trying so hard to be okay with that. Somehow, they still fell in love with you despite their best efforts to not fucking do that. But you've only ever fucked them when they're a guy, so they assume you're only interested in them one way. Just like everyone else. You've never said anything to make them think any different so it's obvious, right? So they take what they can get. Which is only half. And they keep you at a distance, because anything else will kill them.
A/N: flashbacks are in all Italics. some smut.
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gif credit: artemidosgifs and stannyramirez
“Oh shit, Jordie, wait-” You can’t catch your breath, legs shaking where they’re thrown over Jordan’s shoulders. 
“Stop fucking squirming.” Jordan huffs, licking some of your wetness off your thigh.
Your vision is swimming a little. How long have you been in this position? Or in Jordan’s room? It’s hard to keep track of anything, when you’re with them. His tongue finds your clit again. Insistent, rough swipes. You’re too overworked now for anything gentle to even register. How many times have you cum now? 
“You always taste so fucking good.” Jordan moans, voice hoarse and low.
He puts a hand under your back to press you further into his mouth. With only your shoulders pushed into the mattress you can’t move. Jordan’s eyes are always glued to your face when you fuck. As if he’s daring you to shy away from whatever he’ll do to you next. 
Considering that his favorite thing to do is overstimulate you, you’re not sure the irritation is fair. What are you supposed to do when he’s made you cum four times and is still going? According to Jordan, the answer is simple: lie there and take it. 
Lifting you up. Pinning you down. These are the solutions he’s arrived at. Jordan hates having to chase you just to give you the orgasm you begged him for in the first place. 
“You ready for my fingers again?” Jordan asks, but it’s not a real question, because you don’t get to so much as gasp before he’s plunging three fingers into you again. 
He’s rough as he rocks his fingers into that soft spot inside of you that always makes your eyes roll back into your head. He knows the angle you like him to use by heart. 
“Fucking shit, Jordan!” Your hands fall into his hair, grip like a vice, and Jordan half moans and half laughs against you.
It’s the vibrations that send you over the edge again. The breath leaving your lungs in one rush as that coil inside releases and makes the world go white and your ears ring. 
You come back to yourself slowly. Jordan hovering over you, pressing kisses into the side of your neck. You grasp at his shoulders, pulling him down so that he's laying on top of you. The weight is comforting after the overwhelming head rush. You still feel shaky. He goes down easily, wrapping one arm underneath you.
“I can feel you smirking, jerk.” You laugh weakly, hitting his arm.
“You soaked my fucking fingers. Think I'm allowed a smirk.” Jordan says. 
He lifts his head from your neck and there's that smug look you love to see him wear. It's enough to make you ready to have him all over again. You settle on gently massaging his scalp. 
“I'll tell you what you're allowed.” You tease, grinning at him. 
“Hah! Always have enough energy to be a fucking brat, huh?” Jordan rolls his eyes. 
You wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer. “I've got enough energy to make out too! Gimme a kiss.”
“Fucking insatiable.” Jordan scoffs, but gives in. Because he always does. 
It's hard to think when Jordan kisses you. He kisses like he doesn't need to breathe. Or be anywhere else but with you. One of his hands finds yours, locking your fingers together. You squeeze tight. Try not to imagine holding his hand like this outside each other's dorms. Because that only ever makes you feel empty afterwards when all the hormones from the orgasms should leave you floating.
You get a third wind when Jordan rocks his hips against yours and you feel he's hard again. You reach a hand between the two of you, grasping his dick to angle him back inside. Thank God for Supe refractory periods. You sigh when his tip pushes into you. 
“Yeah princess? You want me again?” He tries to sound teasing, nonchalant, but he only sounds like he wants you just as bad.
You rock your hips so that he slides inside fully. Watch him tilt his head back and moan for you as you move. Hungrily taking in the way every sound shapes his mouth. You lean up to kiss at the underside of his jaw. You can't leave any hickies on him but you always kiss him like you want to. God you fucking wish you could. Maybe if you could leave marks people wouldn't chase after them so much. If everyone knew Jordan was yours. But Jordan isn't yours. 
You bite him a little harder.
Jordan's hand finds your throat. You whine, the noise strangled against his palm. You go lax as he pushes you back into the bed. Gently. His fingers flex, a little tighter, and your eyes flutter shut. 
“Gonna be good for me?” Jordan asks.
You nod your head frantically, legs dragging him closer. It's never close enough. No matter what you do. 
“Yeah, I'll be good, Jordie.” You say the words he wants to hear, feeling your head go soft and thoughtless again.
“Fucking liar.” He grinds his hips into yours and chokes you harder when you clench around him. 
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You’d been fast friends, best friends, since the moment you stepped on campus and met one another as freshman. Talking to Jordan. Spending time with them. Everything that first year didn’t even feel like getting to know one another. It just felt like coming home.
You didn’t say as much to Jordan. They would have rolled their eyes and scoffed at how sensitive you were, if you had. But you knew they felt the same way. You were the one Jordan went to whenever they were sad. When they were excited. When they were coming into themselves, learning to love who they were after a lifetime of everyone else telling them not to. 
You were the first person to see them. Before Brink, even, you saw them. All their potential. All their greatness. All of them, and Jordan had never forgotten that. 
Jordan saw you too, in turn. You’d never felt like much more than a pretty face, before Jordan. 
You were the type of beautiful that made people look twice when they walked past you. When you were a little girl you soaked in all the praise like a flower. Every: ‘she’s so pretty’, and ‘well look at her!’, or ‘oh wow!’ was nourishment to your little soul.
It would be impossible to pinpoint the moment you realized that was all anyone saw. Even once your powers manifested. Advanced healing, advanced reflexes, limited invulnerability, energy manipulation. You were the whole nine yards. Your parents, when you were thirteen, had sent a video of you using your powers off to Vought. 
A man and woman showed up a day later in suits, wanting to meet you personally.
“She sure is a little looker, isn’t she?” The man had said, and he’d held your hand for too long before he let go. 
They’d come prepared. With ideas for costumes. Which team of teenage Supes you should be placed with. If you should just go straight for television. The adults talked around you. Not paying you any mind as you stared at the costume that would reveal so much skin. You’d never worn a skirt that short before. You hadn’t been allowed, hadn’t even wanted to, really. If you’d come home from the mall having bought anything like that on your own, your parents would have blown a fuse. Now they just sat on either side of you, mile wide grins plastered on their faces. 
All the voices faded to background noise. You realized maybe you were too young to be a superhero. You thought it would involve more... saving people. Running into burning buildings. Getting the bad guys. Saving the day. The people from Vought were only talking about magazine spreads. About what persona would fit your look. 
“What about school?” You’d asked, quietly, and everyone in the room had turned to look at you baffled. 
“What about school, sweetheart?” The woman laughed. “You’ll get a private tutor, of course. But your future is big. You won’t even have to worry about stuff like that anymore. Goodbye lame homework. Hello red carpets!” 
You sat very quietly until they left. Your parents were more angry than you’d ever seen them, when you told them you wanted to wait until after high-school to pursue being a hero. 
You knew telling them you weren’t sure you wanted to do it at all was off the table. 
During high-school you noticed people didn’t listen to you. You would be telling someone about your favorite book; or talking about a movie that changed your whole worldview, only to realize the other person had been staring at your lips the entire time. 
You stopped talking so much about things you cared about. No one listened anyways. 
‘Bimbo.’
‘Airhead.’
‘Slut.’ 
Were all things you’d heard before you’d ever gone on your first date. Gotten so much as your first kiss on the cheek. High-school was lonely, and you couldn’t talk about it being lonely without sounding like an asshole, you quickly realized. The few friends you had would roll their eyes when you’d try and vent. You thought it was just playful ribbing. Friends tease each other. It made you feel included! Until you caught them mocking you behind your back to one another.
‘Look at me, I’m Y/N, and life’s so hard because I’m so pretty and popular. Is she fucking serious? Stuck up bitch.’ 
You stopped venting.
When you got to God-U, you weren’t sure what to expect. College was a chance to reinvent yourself. Even if you weren’t sure you wanted to be a Superhero you knew this could be a chance to find your people. Lifelong friends. 
People who you could get coffees with between classes. Who would go to all your birthdays and want to be there. People you would spend hours on the phone with. Fall asleep studying together. Girls who might like you enough to make you their maid of honor. Guys who would high five you when you did something cool and not try to sneak a glance at your chest. 
You were imagining it all as you unpacked your boxes. Your stomach twisting itself into knots. Living in a half world between excitement and dread.
Then you met your roommate and she gave you the look. The look you’d gotten all your life from girls, and you knew you’d never be real friends. Girls who looked at you like that kept their boyfriends away from you at parties. And they never shared the secrets that friends share because they thought you’d put them in a fucking burn book. The look alone almost made you give up and just go home. 
You went for a walk instead, fighting back tears. That’s when you ran into Jordan. Literally, ran into Jordan. You knocked the both of you to the ground. 
When they’d snapped, “What the fuck dude?” at you, harsh and angry and very them, you’d burst into tears. 
It wasn’t the perfect way to meet your person. But you were glad you met them at all. 
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 “Stop moving your eyes away from the screen.” Jordan says. 
“I’m not allowed to move my eyes away from the screen?” You laugh.
“No, this part is really important. You have to pay attention. I wanna see if you catch it.” 
You try your best to keep your eyes glued to the screen, as instructed. But you can’t help the way you keep glancing towards Jordan. She looks good. She always looks good, but right now you don’t even want to look away from her. The colors of the movie flashing across her face, blues and golds, make her look like a painting. 
“Are you watching?” Jordan asks, and you smile at the excitement in her voice. 
You look back towards the movie, wondering what she wants you to see so badly. You look just in time. A small detail catches your eyes and you gasp, reaching out a hand blindly to shake her in your own excitement. 
“Did you see that in the background?” You shake her again, for good measure.
“I saw it.” Jordan laughs.
“That means that he killed the wife!” 
“How do you figure?”
You pause the movie, ready to explain where you think the plot is heading. When you turn to face Jordan you have to take a deep breath. You don’t know whether you love or hate that look. Your feelings on the matter change day to day. 
Jordan is leaned up into the arm of the couch, relaxed, and she’s staring at you with The Smile she wears sometimes. She started doing it a few months into your friendship. Back when you used to talk and then slowly stop. So completely sure that nobody wanted to hear what you had to say. 
Jordan had asked you, back then, why you always stopped telling stories halfway through, or stopped talking about your day, or the latest book you’d read. 
You wanted to lie, at first. Eventually you told a half truth, “I never have anything interesting to say.” 
Jordan had looked at you for a long time. You were worried that somehow, up until that moment, they hadn’t realized how boring you were. But you acknowledging it out loud had made them think about it, and now they were going to ditch you for a friend who was interesting, funny, and smart. 
Instead, Jordan had told you that she loved the way your mind worked, and she’d smiled The Smile at you, for the first time. You hadn’t known how to respond, to the words, or the smile. You turned the conversation back towards Brink’s latest class assignment. 
Later that night you’d gone back to your dorm room and cried, but you’d felt happier than you’d ever felt. 
It made you feel warm and soft that three years later Jordan still smiled at you like that. It felt like your cue to say anything on your mind, no matter how dumb. Green light means go. The Smile means talk. 
“Well?” Jordan nudges you with her foot, still smiling, and waiting for you. 
You shake your head to break free of the spell she puts you in, “Well, look at his sense of style for the entire movie. All his stuff is modern and sleek and then the first time we see his bedroom all the rest of the decor is in line with the rest of the house, except that one thing. All the camera shots are so purposeful and they lingered a little, after he walked away. They wanted us to see he was keeping a trophy. He totally killed her, didn’t he?” 
Jordan pauses for a second and then laughs. “I don’t know how you always guess right. I didn’t see the twist coming at all the first time I watched it.”
“Secondary super power.”
“Connecting all the dots?”
“Connecting all the dots, yeah.” 
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“Y/N! Y/N, thank fucking god, you gotta come with me.” Cate grabbed you by the arm, rougher than she’d ever touched you before. 
“I was on my way to class.” You tripped over your feet as Cate pulled you the opposite way you needed to go.
“Forget class! Jordan’s gonna get themself expelled.” Cate snapped. 
“What?!” 
“They’re beating the shit out of Peter in the locker room. Luke’s not on campus. I can’t get close enough to stop them-”
You’d broken into a sprint towards the fighting arena. You didn’t know what the hell was happening. Peter and Jordan had spoken maybe ten times to each other in all the years of attending the same university. 
You’d never gotten anywhere so fast in your life. Andre was standing steadfast in front of the entrance to the boy’s locker room, a small group of other students standing outside. You could hear the sounds of fighting pouring out from the door. 
“Back it up you fucking vultures.” Andre snipped. He might not have super strength but he was still Number 4, and could look intimidating when he needed to. 
“Andre, what’s going on?” You pushed to the front of the crowd. 
“Thank fuck Cate found you. You gotta get in there. Jordan’s gonna fucking mur-” Andre glanced at the phones pointed at the both of you, trying to record even a drip of gossip about top students trying to seriously hurt each other and lowered his voice, “Jordan is actually gonna fucking kill Peter. I’ll keep the crowds back. Get in there.” 
You moved past him into the locker room and your jaw dropped at the state of the place. 
You thought these lockers were bolted down. Apparently not. At least four rows of them were knocked to the ground, heavily dented. A water bottle refilling station had been crumpled to nothing, exposed pipe spraying water across the floor.
“Get off of me you fucking animal.” You heard Peter cry from further in the room and ran. 
Jordan had shoved Peter up against the wall. You were surprised Peter was still conscious. He was lucky he healed so fast. You could see his black eye fading even as Jordan broke his nose. 
“You fucking stay away from her. You understand? I hear you fucking talking like that again and I take the tongue out of your fucking mouth, you asshole.” 
Peter laughs through a mouth full of blood,“Not my fault she gave it up so easy, Li-” 
Jordan throws him into one of the last standing lockers and you see that they are indeed bolted into the ground. Evidently, Jordan throws stronger than Supe resistant steel can take. When Jordan moves to lift Peter out of the crater his body made in the downed locker you rush in between them, putting a shield up. 
“Y/N?” You can see some of the anger fade from Jordan’s face, just a little, at the sight of you.
“Hey, Jordie. Think Peter has had enough.”
Jordan scoffs, “No, he really fucking hasn’t,” he leans around you to yell at Peter, who’s trying to push himself onto his knees, “He’s still running his fucking mouth!” 
“Pussy whipped asshole-” Peter groans.
You glance at Peter on the floor, aghast, “Peter! Stop antagonizing, Jordan. What’s wrong with you?” 
“Unbelievable, honestly. You walk in on Jordan kicking my ass and you tell me to stop antagonizing the fucker?” Peter huffs, pushing his nose back into place so it won’t heal wrong. 
“Name calling isn’t gonna make him stop kicking your ass. I’m trying to help.” You shoot back.
“Well, no one needs your help, you dumb-” 
“Hey.” Jordan interrupts. He’s not yelling anymore, but his voice is the loudest thing in the room. “Watch your mouth, Peter. I fucking mean it.” 
You look back and forth between them. They watch each other for a long moment. Jordan looking eerily calm. Peter looks away first. 
“Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought. Come on, Y/N.” Jordan grabs your hand and marches you out of the locker room. Past Andre and Cate, who try to stop you both but Jordan waves them off and muscles his way past the crowd too. 
He doesn’t stop until you’re back in his dorm room and he’s shut the door behind the two of you. 
“You were fucking that loser?” He asks, clicking the lock into place.    
“You’re lucky Andre and Cate kept people out of the locker room so there’s no video of everything! You could get expelled, Jordan! What the fuck happened?” 
“He hit me first and he’s not even in the top ten. What’s he at? Number 14? No one’ll give a shit what happens to him. When did you start fucking him?”
“I’m not fucking him! Or… I’m not just, fucking him. I’m… I was dating him. Why were you two fighting?” 
“Dating? For how fucking long? You didn’t tell me you were dating anyone.” Jordan’s hair is already a disheveled mess. He yanks his fingers through the strands and makes it worse. 
“We’ve been going on dates for like… three months? Kinda? Maybe.” You say quietly. 
“Three months?! Are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me? What the fuck?” 
“Why are you so mad?”
“Friends talk to each other about shit like this! And if you’d talked to me, I would have told you that Peter is a clout chasing piece of shit that’ll never amount to anything. You should’ve heard the shit he was saying today. Fucking piece of shit!” 
“That’s why you were fighting?” You wring your hands together, a knot tying itself over and over in your stomach. “What did he say?”
Jordan stops pacing the room, goes still and turns away from you. 
“Well? What did he say? It was bad enough to make you two beat the shit out of each other! So what was it?” 
“He just… You don’t have to worry about it, okay? He won’t go near you again.” Jordan says firmly.
“Whatever he said he’s gonna keep saying. Just behind my back. I should know.”
Jordan sighs and moves to sit beside you on his couch, knee bouncing with anxiety. “He was… bragging to his shitty friends. About being the first guy on campus to fuck you. About how it didn’t even take that long and… how… he was thinking of recording you. So he could show them how slutty you are. It was…. fucking disgusting.” 
“Oh.” You say. 
You swallow around the lump in your throat. You’d done everything you could to avoid something like this happening. Had kept your dates off campus, to make sure he actually wanted to date you and not just the hot girl ranked Number 3. You’d spent nights staying up on the phone laughing and talking. You’d put off sleeping with Peter for a whole two months, even though you liked him, because you wanted to make sure he liked you. 
You hadn’t even let him call you his girlfriend until a few days ago. You thought he really liked you. But no matter how hard you try… you guess this is it. You’re just something pretty to look at. Even Vought doesn’t take you seriously, despite your powers. You’re the top ranked student in everything. Right behind Jordan. Forensic analysis. Combat. Battle strategy. Still, you only ever get asked about makeup routines and how to maintain your figure in interviews. 
You wipe at your burning eyes and try not to cry about something you’ve already accepted. 
“Fuck that guy. Fuck him. He’s so far beneath your level I’m surprised you can perceive his plane of fucking existence, okay? He’s a fucking single cell organism. He doesn’t even know what a brain is.” Jordan gets up from the couch to kneel in front of you, tries to look you in the eyes. 
“I’m so fucking stupid.” 
“No, you fucking are not. Don’t say that about yourself. He’s fucking stupid. It’s genuinely insane you even wasted your time with him. Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing anyone?” Jordan asks, voice quiet.
“I just…. I wanted to make sure he was actually gonna stick around before I even brought him up to you. You’re so … important, why tell you about someone who isn’t? It’s not like you write home to me about any of the people you mess around with! We’ve never really talked about this kind of stuff.” 
“Yeah, but it’s different. I’m not serious about anyone! You were actually dating, Peter. And I would have told you not to.” Jordan rolls his eyes.
“Well, I wanted to make sure it was serious. Before I even said anything.” 
“It wouldn’t have gotten serious if you’d told me about it in the first place. I wouldn’t have let Peter within ten feet of you!” 
“We’re talking in circles.” You huff in frustration, pressing your palms into your eyes to stop the stinging.
“Sorry, I just…. Fucking still wish I was beating the shit out of him, honestly.” Jordan says.
“You are not leaving this room for the rest of the day, Li. Even if he is Number 14, you can’t walk away from a fight then go back for seconds cause you didn’t get it all out the first time. That won’t hold up too well in court.”
“He heals too fast for there to be any marks left on him. It’ll all be hearsay.” Jordan smirks.  
You let out a weak laugh. Jordan reaches out, touching the corner of your lips. “Can we shoot for something a little bigger? If I don’t see you smile soon I’ll actually go kill him.” 
You roll your eyes and slide to the edge of the couch, so you’re resting your head on Jordan’s shoulder, leaning all your weight against him. He wraps his arms around you, rubbing circles into your spine.
“I really wanted it to work out, Jordan.” You mumble into the skin of his collarbone.
“With fucking Peter?” 
“With… anyone.” Your voice wavers and Jordan’s grip gets tighter. “It’s so fucking lonely. I just want to be someone’s favorite person. Not because of how I look, but because they like me. Really like me. And no one fucking does, no matter how hard I try.” The tears start falling now and Jordan pulls back and makes you look up at him, one hand on your cheek. 
“Hey, hey, don’t cry. I fucking… I like you. I’ve always liked you.” Jordan says, frantic as he wipes away the tears as they come.
“It’s not the same, Jordan!” You shake your head, and bite your lip. You’d almost said it’s not enough. Because it isn’t. But you can't think about that for too long. It makes the hole in you ache a little worse. 
“Yeah….guess it’s not.” Jordan says quietly. He keeps wiping away the tears, dutiful and gentle as he goes. 
“You said he hit you first?” You ask, after a long moment of him quietly soothing you.
“Come on, I’m not stupid. Had to let him get the first swing in.” Jordan smirked.
“What did you say to make him hit you?” You ask.
“Told him he was lucky you believe in charity work and giving back to the fucking needy.” 
It’s enough to startle a laugh out of you. You smack his arm weakly before pulling him into another hug. He kisses the top of your head so softly you don’t notice it, too busy laughing. 
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“Y/N, good to see you dear. You keeping our Jordan out of trouble?” Brink asks as he comes out of his office, not surprised to see you perched on Jordan’s desk. 
“Professor, we both know that I’m the one getting Jordan into trouble.” You flash the older man your most mischievous grin. 
“Ah, my apologies. I assume that means you’re distracting her from doing her work, as well?” Brink raises an eyebrow teasingly. 
“Yes.” You say.
“No.” Jordan protests, at the same time. 
You throw your head back with a laugh. “It’s a goal I hold most dear to my heart, to distract Jordan from grading these papers. I think I’m succeeding wonderfully, you’ll be happy to know, Professor.” 
“She’s joking, Professor.” Jordan smacks your thigh and you glance down just in time to burn the image of her hand on your thigh into your brain. She almost never touches you, when she’s like this. 
“You know, Jordan, I didn’t happen to lose my sense of humor after I hit sixty.” Brink waves off Jordan’s concern and leans towards the two of you, whispering conspiratorially, “I know the gray hair gives the illusion of being a boring old fart, but I do like to laugh every now and then.”
Jordan shakes her head with a small laugh and you can’t help but watch, entranced, at the way her hair brushes the olive skin of her cheeks. When you look back towards Brink you find him already watching you, a knowing smile on his lips. You laugh nervously, and look down at the wood grain texture of Jordan’s desk. It’s suddenly fascinating. Is it real oak? Cherry?
“You close to being done, Jordan?” Brink asks casually. 
“Uh-” Jordan’s face blanches and you suddenly feel genuinely sorry for distracting her from her work. 
“-relax, kiddo. You’re not in trouble. Geez, what am I, a work nazi? Those papers don’t need to be graded for another four days, right? You work too hard. I was just asking cause’ I was getting a little hungry myself and wanted to know if you could use a break? There’s a great new Indian place nearby, apparently. Professor. Karp was telling me about it yesterday. It’s only a twenty minute ride away. Wanna tag along?” 
“I should probably finish up a few more papers-” 
“She would love to take a break, Professor.” You reach over, saving the work Jordan’s done and shutting down her laptop at lightning speed. 
“Brat.” Jordan mouths the word at you quickly, so Brink won’t see. 
You stick your tongue out at her, not caring if anyone sees. 
“You should come along too, Y/N. Been awhile since we last caught up.” Brink has a twinkle in his eye that you can’t quite place.
You slide off Jordan’s desk anyways, not willing to pass up any valuable Time Spent With Jordan, “I’m not sure if I trust Professor Karp’s recommendation on restaurants, but I’ll try and be very brave about it if the food is awful.”
“Jordan, have I ever told you how much I love this girl?” Professor Brink shrugs on his coat with a laugh. 
“Yeah.” Jordan watches Brink help you into your own coat with a small smile. “Yeah, Professor you have.” 
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“Fucking fuck me!” Jordan throws her phone onto the coffee table in front of her.
“Are the parental units being emotional terrorists again?” You ask from your spot on her bed, turning the page of your textbook, mindlessly highlighting another sentence that could be important for the upcoming final. 
“No, it’s just the whole fucking roster is busy.” Jordan roughly runs a hand through her hair, disheveling her bob. 
“Huh?” You look up from your notes.
“The whole roster is locked in for finals but I really need to let off some fucking steam!” Jordan sighs.
“How big is the roster?” You try to sound curious, like a best friend would be, and not irritated, like someone in love with their best friend would be. 
“Too big for me to not be fucking someone right now.” Jordan snips. 
“We are studying right now. Or I’m studying, and you should be studying too, instead of thinking about needing to get your rocks off.” You say coolly, flipping to the next page. 
“I can’t fucking focus.” Jordan groans, but comes back over to the bed and flops down beside you, throwing her arm over her eyes. “What concept are we on now?” 
“Theories on limiting public and private property damage in fights with other Supes.”
“There is no fucking way I can focus on something that fucking boring without having an orgasm first.”Jordan groans, again, “It’s not even about limiting loss of human life or injury?”
“Nope. Property damage.” 
“Fuck me!” 
You both fall into silence. You studying. Jordan, you assume, weighing the pros and cons of downloading Tinder. The thought makes your stomach drop.
Then you get an idea. An awful, horrible, no good, rotten fucking idea. 
Your mouth is opening before you can stop yourself, “You could fuck me.”
“Huh?” You’ve never seen Jordan sit up so fast.
“I just mean- … we really gotta focus and I... I mean if you just need to let off some steam we could always…” You try your best to fumble your way into proper usage of the English language but even the thought of fucking Jordan makes that impossible. 
“Are you serious right now?” Jordan shifts halfway through the sentence, eyes glued to your every nervous, jittery movement as you sit in front of him.
“Wouldn’t have said anything if it wasn’t a real offer.” You say quietly, not looking up from the book. 
Jordan snatches said book from your lap and tosses it away, ignoring your noise of protest. “You don’t think it’d make things weird?” 
“Weird was when I had to take you to get your wisdom teeth removed and you kept saying the green man was gonna get us while you were still high off the good stuff. Sex is just sex, right?” You try to say it casually. 
“Would… would it be a one time thing?” Jordan asks slowly.  
“It could be more… we could be-” You say, equally as slow. 
“- could be?” Jordan echoes, voice sounding oddly tight and expression carefully blank.
The look is so strange it makes you panic, and if you’d thought of saying something stupid and desperate for one second like ‘a couple’, well, that look on his face is more than enough to send you straight back to reality on the ‘my-life-fucking-sucks’ express in no time flat.
“We could be like friends with benefits!” You blurt out in one breath. 
“Oh.” Jordan says. 
“It was just an idea.” You reach for the textbook again, which landed near Jordan’s thigh. You’re careful not to touch him when you grab it, or sound too disappointed, or heartbroken at the completely lackluster reaction Jordan has to the thought of having sex with you. “A stupid idea, forget it.”
“Why’s it stupid?” Jordan’s brow furrows, tone teetering on the edge of defensive. 
“I mean…” You can’t think of a reason fast enough. “We’re probably sexually incompatible.” 
“Why do you assume that?” Jordan goes from staring at you, to glaring at you. 
You’ve always hated how once Jordan latches on to a line of questioning, you can’t get them to drop that interrogation for shit. A dog with a bone has nothing on a Jordan who wants an answer.
“I don’t… know?” You say, but it sounds like a question. 
“I think we’d be compatible.” Jordan states this like he’d state the sky is blue or water is wet. 
“Have you thought about it before?” You ask, bewildered. 
“What, are you into something really kinky?” Jordan answers your previous question not at all.
“No!” There goes that nervous body language of yours again. 
“Only way to really know if we’re sexually compatible is to actually try it out.” Suddenly, Jordan is within your personal space bubble. 
You don’t really know how to react, your body freezes up on instinct. Jordan’s hand comes up to rub soothing circles into the crook of your elbow. Your shoulders fall away from your ears.
“Can I kiss you?” Jordan’s voice is quiet, soft as he tilts his head to knock his nose against yours. Playful, teasing. But the look on his face is something you can’t place at all. 
You feel his breath on your lips and nod absentmindedly. 
“Don’t want you to nod when I ask you a question like this. Yes or no, Y/N?” 
“Ye-” The words not fully out of your mouth before Jordan is kissing you, a heavy hand pulling you closer by the nape of your neck. 
You pull yourself into Jordan’s lap and try to focus on how good it feels when he nips at your bottom lip, instead of how much you wished you’d asked him to be your boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Partner. Everything. Even if he’d said no, at least then you would have had an answer. Now you’ve only made your life harder. 
You stop thinking so much when Jordan puts a hand on your hip and guides you to grind yourself against him. 
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“Y/N’s right.” Jordan mutters, not looking up from his phone. 
“No, she is not. You’re just agreeing with her because that’s your default factory setting. Listen to the context of the argument please.” Andre snaps, drowning his Vought Triple meat burger in ketchup.
“I did. Your grim dark theory on children’s media is lame, and Y/N knows more about the Monster’s Inc universe than you ever will.” Jordan shrugs.
“Hah!” You laugh in Andre’s face.
“Is it really such a flex to be an expert on the lore of a Pixar movie universe?” Cate asks teasingly. 
“Yes.” You say. 
“No.” Andre says, like a sore loser.  
“I agree with Y/N, it’s literally in the explicit text of the movie, Monsters Inc isn’t a post-apocalyptic world. It’s a separate dimension from ours. The monsters come to our dimension to harvest screams of children to get clean, scream energy. God, Andre, pay attention during movie night.” Luke jumps in on the tormenting Andre train, grinning wildly at the other man from across the table. He gets a middle finger for his troubles. 
“I’m glad someone pays attention to the intricate lore of the greatest movie of all time.” You sniff haughtily. 
“I literally agreed with you first.” Jordan looks at you from over the top of her phone in a way that makes you blush. 
“I’m glad two people are paying attention to the intricate lore of the greatest movie of all time.” You clear your throat. 
“Thank you.” Jordan’s intense brown eyes fall away from you and you take a gulp of your drink. 
“Bathroom alert, Y/N. A stall just opened up.” Cate tells you pointing to the bathroom door right as another girl exits. 
“I am kissing you on the lips, telepathically.” You say, sliding from the booth you’re all sharing.
“Don’t you telepathically lip lock with my girlfriend.” Luke calls after you, laughing.
“Get some powers of telepathy yourself and make me, fire boy.” You enter the bathroom, shutting out the sounds of laughter from your table with a smile. 
You take the biggest stall at the back and try to go about your business quickly. You hear two faucets turn on, someone washing their hands, and try not to get pee shy. 
“So how was it?” A monotone voice asks, you assume one of the hand washers.
“You know I don’t usually kiss and tell, but it was insane.” A higher, more giggly voice answers. 
“So they really are good in bed then, huh?” The monotone voice sounds a little more curious. 
“Incredible. All the rumors are true. They’re a little… uh, brusque, about the after sex part, if I’m putting it lightly, but the sex itself was great!” The high voice chirps. 
“What? Did they throw you a towel and tell you to kick rocks?” The monotone voice asks. 
“Pretty much.” The high voice sighs. “But they made me cum so many times I think I’d still pick up if they called me again. You think they might?” 
“I say this with all the love in the world: girl stand up.” Monotone voice drawls. 
“You wouldn’t be telling me that if you knew how good it felt to sit on her face.” High voice says.
You stifle a laugh, trying not to get caught eavesdropping, but with Supe hearing it really is hard to mind your own business. Besides, they’re not being that quiet about the conversation anyways. 
“I’ll have to take your word for it.”
“Or you could experience it for yourself. They were just as good as a boy as they were as a girl. Maybe better. I dunno. She was more aggressive as a girl, which was kinda hot.” 
“Jordan Li, pussy eating extraordinaire. Can we go now? Our food is probably ready.” Monotone voice sighs. 
“Fine, but I’m telling you, the things they can do with a strap are-” 
The voices fade away with the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing. 
You find you don’t really want to finish eating your food, when you get back to the table. You spend the rest of lunch trying your best not to look at Jordan, and also ignoring Cate’s concerned gaze boring into the side of your skull. 
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You pretend to be sick to avoid having to face the reality of Jordan being more than happy to touch other girls as a girl. They just don’t want to touch you when they’re a girl. You wonder what about you is so uniquely off putting. You wonder why it can’t be you. Why can’t it ever fucking be you? 
Jordan barges into your room on day three of the silent treatment that you told the group chat was due to a raging fever. 
Luckily your eyes, swollen shut from all the crying, and the red nose to match, corroborate the story. 
“We got it all. We’ve got tissues. We got soup. We got pain meds. We got liquid meds. We also have all the ingredients for a hot toddy, if you want to mix your poisons a little.” Jordan begins to unpack everything onto your counter. 
“I don’t want to take anything.” You say morosely, and a little mean, kind of wanting to hate them but just feeling sad. Jordan’s your best friend before anything else, and you could never hate your first real friend. 
“Come on, just a little something. You sound fucked up.” Jordan practically coos, touching your forehead. “Feels like your fever’s gone down a little. Sit up for me.” He says, and pulls you to sit up when you don’t do it on your own.  
“I don’t want to fucking-” Jordan puts two pills in your mouth as soon as you open it to bitch at him. He hands you water to help you swallow it down. 
“Thanks for that. That was really fun for me.” You snap once you’re done.
“It’s for pain and should bring down the rest of your fever.” Jordan lays you back down, tucking the covers all the way up to your chin. You marvel at the way he doesn’t rise to the bait of your very clear attitude. Jordan, catching the look on your face offers you a small glare. “I’m worried. You usually don’t get sick. I’ll check that attitude when you’re better. Now, do you want the damn hot toddy or not?” He rubs your head soothingly.
“Yes, please.” You try not to pout as you watch Jordan make the drink for you. You really hate how hard it is to hate them. “Sorry, Jordie.” 
“Oh, you can go ahead and save that apology for when I make you cry into your pillow, yeah?” Jordan doesn’t even look up from measuring the ingredients.
You pull the covers over your head and leave them there until Jordan pulls them back down. 
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You almost hadn’t come to the party. 
You weren’t in a partying mood, as of late. You were in more of a Shakespearean pining era than a City Girls one. But the group had bullied you in the group chat for a week straight until you’d promised to come. The group bullying hadn’t worked so much as Jordan asking you one single time to go had.
So here you were. 
You’d been nursing one drink for the better part of an hour and hadn’t done a single line of cocaine. Jordan had offered you some, but the line had already been placed on the back of his hand. You politely declined, much to his confusion. You only ever did hard drugs with Jordan, and only at big rager parties like this one. 
At the moment you’re nearly sober. Because you didn’t so much as want to touch Jordan right now. Let alone do something like snort a line off of him. Then you’d have to do something like lick the residue off his skin. Which would lead to kissing him. Which would lead to making out with him. Which would lead to fucking him. 
And you think, for the sake of your sanity, you need to be done fucking Jordan Li. 
It’s been about three weeks since you were “sick” and you’d dodged every attempt at getting physical that Jordan tried to initiate since. At first you were able to pass it off as still feeling icky. That excuse worked for a week. Now, you didn’t hang out alone with them and pretended not to see Jordan’s ‘you up?’ texts until morning. 
Your friendship just needs a hard reset. This time spent not having sex will do it. 
Besides, it’s not like Jordan isn’t swimming in fucking choices. What does it matter if you’re one less body off the menu? There are plenty of hot girls at this school. Jordan’s probably already fucked half of them.
You throw back the rest of the drink you’ve been nursing all at once.
“Are you okay?” Cate puts a hand on your arm and you offer her a blinding, completely fake smile. 
“Yeah!” You say, as chipper as possible.
“Jesus christ.” Cate replies, face going all sad and concerned. “What did Jordan do?” 
“Huh?” You blink, confused.
“You are the most pissed off I’ve ever seen you. What did Jordan do? You’ve been avoiding them for like two weeks. What gives?” Cate pulls you closer by the arm so that she doesn’t have to shout over the music. 
“Nothing!” 
“Can you try to lie again but do it better, this time?” Cate frowns.
“Jesus Christ, does everything have to be about Jordan? Must my whole entire goddamn life revolve around Jordan Li?” You snap, the way someone who isn’t mad about anything does.  
“Okay.” Cate says slowly. Like she’s trying to placate a wild animal. 
The tone alone makes you roll your eyes and move to disappear back in the crowd of drunk twenty-somethings. But she firms her grip on you, the leather of her glove digging into your skin. 
“Y/N-”
“I’m fine, Cate. I just have to get over it.” 
“Get over what?” Cate narrows her eyes at you. That shrewd look she sometimes wears when she knows something before someone else falls onto her face. 
You wonder if you’re completely transparent about your pining or if Cate missed a dose of her medication. Is she starting to hear the buzzing of your frantic, angry, miserable thoughts? Or is she just naturally perceptive? 
“So, this is where the real party is hiding!” An arm is thrown around your shoulders suddenly and you are careful not to sigh, because Jordan may not be as perceptive as Cate, but they’re pretty damn close. Especially when it comes to you. 
You’ve never moved away from them holding you close like this before, so you can’t do it now. You try to just be still. Don’t lean into his warmth, but don’t cringe away either. You probably used to melt against him, when he touched you. Pathetically. Desperately. A sunflower following rays of light across the sky. 
“-Princess?” Jordan gives you a gentle shake and your head snaps to the side to look at him. “You okay?”
“Yup!” Apparently, you didn’t say that convincingly because he starts to scowl at you. Surprisingly enough, the thought of withstanding a Jordan interrogation does not make you want to be at this party for much longer. “I’m gonna head out, though.” 
“What?!” Twin exclamations of confusion form Jordan and Cate both.
“Not feeling it. I think I need to get some more sleep. I got a headache, or… something.” You shrug.
“Or something?” Jordan echoes.
“You are not going anywhere, yet, dear friend.” Andre throws his own arm around you, appearing from thin air, and tugging you away from Jordan. You’ve never been more grateful to him. 
“How do you figure that?” You laugh.
“We’re about to play truth or dare in the other room and you dodged playing last time. You can leave after you’ve played. You can’t get known as the truth or dare dodger.” Andre says. 
“You say that as if being a party game dodger is like being known for dodging the Vietnam draft.” You snort.
“No, it’s worse. People that dodged the Vietnam drafts are heroes. Truth or dare dodgers are cowards. Come on.” Andre begins to drag you towards the other room and you go along with minimal dragging of your feet across the floor. 
The room is crowded, but all the faces are familiar. They’re all within the top twenty, or the groupies that hang around everyone in the top twenty. You pull Andre across the room to a spot on a raggedy couch you have to squeeze the both of you into. No room for Jordan, who you want to avoid. Or Cate, who is too fucking perceptive. 
You wish you’d grabbed another drink for yourself. Jordan winds up across the room from you, in an optimal position for trying to catch your eye and give you a concerned look every ten seconds. 
This does not make Truth or Dare more fun to watch. 
Vulgar dare from one classmate to another. Forcing someone else to admit an uncomfortable truth. One humiliation after the other. Pick your poison on whether you want to debase yourself through the damnation of your own words or a physical act. All challenges of self-mortification being doled out by people who secretly don’t like each other very much, but all call each other friends anyways. 
“Earth to Y/N the space cadet.” The girl sitting next to you gives you a playful shove. You try not to glare at her. Her name escapes you. You think she hangs around with number 6. Or something. 
“What?”
“Cate picked you. Truth or dare.” She says the words ominously, causing teasing jeering to rise from the entire group. 
“Well, Y/N, what’s it gonna be?” Cate raises her eyebrow at you challengingly. 
“She doesn’t have to play if she doesn’t want to, guys.” Jordan rolls his eyes.
“Dare.” You say, wanting to get this over with. 
The room erupts into excited noise. You don’t know why. Cate, of all people, would never force you to do anything humiliating. Or truly scandalous. It’s why you trust her enough to say dare, instead of truth. But you never pick dare, because anyone else would abuse the power. Everyone looks too eager to see Number 3 do something embarrassing. 
As if Cate isn’t your closest friend beside Jordan. As if she’d abuse the trust you place in her. It makes you sick. You don’t wanna be here. At this party, or at this stupid fucking school.
“I dare you…. to kiss the prettiest girl in the room.” 
“What?!” Jordan turns to give Cate the nastiest, most disgusted glare you’ve ever seen.
“She doesn’t have to do it if she doesn’t want to. You know I’m all about consent.” Cate shrugs innocently, crossing her legs together and giving you a smirk. 
You sit for a second, contemplating your next move. There are plenty of pretty girls at this party. In this room. If nothing else, the top twenty and their groupies are photogenic (hell, some of them are only in the top twenty because of their looks to begin with. You hope you’re not one of those.) But there’s only one girl you want to kiss at this party. 
There’s only one person in the world you want to kiss at all. 
You take a shaky breath, feeling like the walls are closing in. Andre nudges you subtly, catches your eye, as if to say: ‘you okay?’ but there’s something else in the look too. Something that says it’s not just Cate, who knows. Probably your whole friend group knows how you feel. Probably the whole school. Probably anyone but Jordan sees it. And Jordan probably does see it, because they’re too fucking smart not to, and they’re choosing to ignore it. Because it’s easier that way. Because your feelings are probably too inconvenient. Because you’re not their type. Because you’re clingy, and stupid, and not good enough- 
You stand up. The room is a wall of noise, and smell and sound pressing in on you. You see Cate smirk. You see Jordan looking away. You see every girl in the room sit up straight. Delusional, if they think any of them could ever be anything, compared to Jordan. 
You walk past every other girl in the room, and stand in front of Jordan, who still isn’t looking.
You kick his ankle with the toe of your heel, to get him to look at you. His head snaps around, the curls of his hair sticking to his forehead, and he looks comically confused. And it’s really too fucking much, for someone as smart as Jordan to look so confused. So fucking baffled, about what’s happening here. But it’s a pretty convincing act. That only makes you more angry. 
You make an impatient motion with your hand. A ‘do it already’ movement of your wrist. The same way you’d crossly signal for another driver to go first at a fucking four way stop. 
He just blinks up at you, owlish. 
"Well? Are you gonna let me kiss the prettiest girl at this fucking school or what, Li?" The room has gone a little quiet, or maybe the blood is rushing in your ears so bad everything is quiet in comparison. 
Jordan stares up at you for a moment longer than is comfortable. And you really start to feel the eyes of everyone in the room on you. You don’t let yourself shy away from the attention. Not Jordan’s, not anyone else’s. You straighten your spine and look down your nose at him, and tap your foot. Try to look like the mean girl everyone expects you to be because no one cares who you actually are. 
As if you could care less if Jordan leaves you stranded right now. As if it will be their loss, if they don’t kiss you, instead of the worst moment of your entire life. 
Jordan shifts. 
You try not to think of how desperate you must look, when you reach out at a speed that isn’t human to hold her face and angle it up, so you can finally fucking kiss the girl you love. 
You wish you could kiss her like it didn’t mean anything. Like she’s nothing. Like you hate her. But you don’t know if this is the only time you’ll ever get to kiss Jordan when she’s your girl, and not your boy. This might be the last time you kiss Jordan ever. 
It has to be. 
You close your eyes tight. Try to ignore the way they’re stinging. You kiss Jordan slow and tender. The way you’ve always wanted to. You tangle a hand in her hair, to bring her closer. You try not to marvel at the way the longer strands tangle in your fingertips. She gasps against you, and her hands find your waist and you are too sober to cry over Jordan touching your waist above your clothes. Like a fucking middle-schooler. 
But the tears start falling anyways. You let out a quiet sob against her lips that you try your hardest to stifle, and Jordan may not have kissed you like this before. But she’s kissed you plenty. She pulls back, startled, like an animal. Big brown eyes full of concern. 
And the spell is broken, and you are standing in front of about thirty of the world’s worst, most unsympathetic human beings, crying, because you kissed your best friend who doesn’t want you back. 
You’ve got ten seconds to leave before someone pulls out their phone and records you. If they haven’t already started. 
So you run.
Through your tears the layout of the house becomes unfamiliar. You try to hide your face a little, and hope people don’t recognize you as you pass them by, sobbing openly. 
Years of pent up feelings are bubbling out of you. The relief. The grief. The way you hate yourself for falling in love with the only person who has ever loved you. Wondering why you couldn’t just be grateful for the kindest, most understanding friendship you never even thought yourself worthy of. Why couldn’t that have been enough? 
Why did you fall in love with them? 
A hand closes around your wrist and you try to yank yourself away but you’re pulled into a bathroom and the door slams shut behind you. 
You wipe your eyes so you can see who’s tried to save you from embarrassing yourself any further. 
It’s Jordan. Because of course it is.
You burst into tears again. 
“Are you fucking drunk? What the fuck was that? Y/N what the fuck is happening right now?” Jordan sounds on the verge of a mental break. 
She’s probably wondering what type of things people are gonna start saying about the two of you on social media. She’s probably mad at you for giving her a PR mess to clean up. 
“I’m not drunk!” You protest, sounding a little like someone who might be drunk. 
“Are you high? What did you take? Lemme see your pupils.” Jordan reaches out to grab your face and you swat her hand away. 
“No one fucking drugged me, Jordan. I’m just a stupid fucking idiot who’s in love with you! There! Are you happy?! Why don’t you go laugh at me with one of your stupid fucking girlfriends. You’ve got so fucking many of them.” You wail, sinking down to the floor, and hiding your face in your arms. 
The room goes quiet, besides the sound of you crying. Loudly. You think you might be having an anxiety attack. You can’t breathe right. But maybe that’s just from the heaving, toddler-like sobs. 
“You’re in love with me?” Jordan asks, quietly. 
“As if you don’t know!” You snap your head up to glare at her. She kneels down in front of you, and puts her hand on your knee and you try not to get distracted by how pretty she is. “I follow you around like a puppy dog. Like your little shadow. And everyone notices except for you, because you don’t want to notice, because you don’t fucking want me. I got the message, Jordan. I got it!” 
“What message?!” Jordan grabs you by the shoulders, voice fraying at the edges, and looks like she wants to shake you.
“You don’t touch me!” Your voice raises to the edge of a yell, and the sound of it echoes in the small room. 
“What are you fucking talking about-”
“-don’t be cute, Jordan. You don’t touch me when you’re a girl! I thought… I thought it was maybe just that you didn’t touch girls when you’re a girl but it isn’t. Apparently you have plenty of fucking girls that you touch and fuck, when you’re a girl. It’s just me, that you don’t! What’s so fucking bad about me? Huh? What’s wrong with me? Why don’t you want me?” You demand.
You think you might sound like an insane person, and you wish you could pull the words back in but the hurt is bubbling out. A river relishing that first burst of freedom when a dam breaks, no matter how much damage it causes. 
Jordan is staring at you like you’ve grown two heads. Mouth agape. You wish you were dead, a little.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Jordie.” Your voice goes small, and you sniffle. “I really tried to stop. But I can’t, I love you. I’ve probably loved you from that very first day. Because you’re wonderful, you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met and I don’t know how anyone…” You trail off, fanning at your eyes to try and pull yourself together. “...I don’t know how everyone else knows you without being in love with you. I wish I wasn’t in love with you, please don’t be mad, please don’t fucking-” You sob, again. 
You find yourself pulled into Jordan’s lap this time. It’s a foreign feeling, to be touching so much of Jordan when she’s like this. You bury your face into her neck and cry, and let her black hair block out the fluorescent lighting. She shushes you, cheek pressing against the side of your head, and that’s familiar. The way she soothes you. Your hands wrinkle the fabric of her jacket, clinging to her tightly. 
“I’m sorry. I can get over it, I promise. I just needed to tell you. I’ve never kept anything from you before. It was killing me, but I can get over it, Jordie, I promise-” 
“Hey, hey, hey, no-” Jordan’s turning you to look at her suddenly. “Don’t fucking… I’m not… I’m not mad at you or fucking… gonna leave you, Y/N. What the fuck? I love you.”
You could start crying from the relief of hearing those words come from her lips again. You thought she wouldn’t ever speak to you again. She grabs you by the chin and kisses you, hard, your teeth clink together and your noses mush and you go completely still and frozen, like a scared deer. 
“I could see the words not fucking register in your brain the way I meant them. I am in love with you. Romantically.” Jordan barely pulls away, you feel her lips brush against yours, every other word. 
“What?” 
Jordan laughs, “Good, now you’re just as confused as I fucking was. Why the fuck wouldn’t I want you? I’ve always wanted you. You’re…you.” 
“I’m me?” You echo. 
“I didn’t…. I didn’t want to make you feel… like everyone else has. Like I was just fucking waiting around for a chance to date you. Or fuck you. As if your friendship doesn’t fucking matter. Or was a consolation prize, if I couldn’t get you to date me. It isn’t a consolation prize. It’s the most important thing to me in the fucking world.” Jordan laughs, and the sound is suspiciously choked up. 
“Oh.” You say, and are crying. Again. Jordan laughs and wipes the tears away with her thumb. 
“But what about when we started having sex? You still… never touched me when you’re like this.” 
“You’ve never said anything about liking girls.” Jordan says quietly.
“You’re not just a girl. You’re the girl. And guy. ” You say, holding her hand against your face and kissing her palm fiercely. She laughs again, and puts her forehead against yours. 
“So what? I’m the one girl you’re into?” Jordan raises a brow and doesn’t look very happy saying the words, oddly enough. 
You tilt your head trying to puzzle out why, slowly, you arrive at a conclusion. “I literally talk about girls all the time.” 
“When?!” 
“I’m constantly pointing out pretty ones!” You snap. 
“I thought you were just being sweet!” Jordan snaps back. 
You close your eyes and breathe in the smell of her cologne. 
“You make me so angry I don’t know how to think.” You say, and kiss her bottom lip softly. “You’re not an… experiment, if that’s what you’re asking. You’re the…” You trail off, realizing this is not one of your romantic daydreams where you’ve thought of the words you’d tell Jordan over and over again. 
In real life you can’t tell people that they’re the love of your life if you aren’t their girlfriend. Unless you want to look crazy.
Jordan, who is your best friend, before she’s anything else, melts. Because she knows you well enough to know what you aren’t saying.
“Yeah.” Jordan nods, sniffling once and trying to look very tough even though her lip is quivering a little. “I… I love you too. Or whatever.” 
“If it makes you feel better I’ve slept with other women before, to make sure I wasn’t just in love with you.” 
“Weird fucking thing to tell me after I say I love you, but go off.” She glares at you. 
“I think you could do with feeling a little jealous. Why am I hearing stories about how good you are at fucking other women while I’m trying to piss at Vought Burger in peace?” 
“What?” Jordan’s brow furrows. 
“Three weeks ago I heard-”
“-I fucking knew you’ve been mad at me!” Jordan grabs your waist, pulling you closer.
“You would have been pissed too, if you heard the shit I was hearing!” 
“If I hear anyone talking about fucking you ever again I’m going to go to prison.”
“Hot.” 
“Shut up and be my girlfriend.”
“Shut up and be my everything.” 
“You’re gross.” But she kisses you, and it’s gentle, and no one else is there to see it. 
And it’s perfect.
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A/N: this is my first time doing full on smut for a fic! it beat me the fuck up. if you enjoyed this fic consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writers fuel is engagement. and this fic took too damn long to write. xoxoxo
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he115re · 6 months
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Nice tits
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Literally just the dreamies holding/touching your tits :)
MDNI!! , tit holding, nipple play, kissing, teasing?, proof read, uhm might've forgotten something.
Mark
He is the type to mindlessly play with your tits. You're both laying on the couch cuddled up to each other. In your most comfortable clothes, he has an arm over your shoulder while the other holds his phone. He's scrolling mindlessly trying to fill his mind of something as ads roll. The hand by your shoulder slowly slips into your sweater by the collar and immediately finds your soft nipple his cold hands making it harden.
You look at him to see if he's doing it on purpose but to your surprise , he's still mindlessly scrolling. He takes the nub between his fingers and starts lightly tweaking it. You sigh at the feeling, he's done this so much he doesn't even have to think about it.
You put your hand atop his to get his attention and he looks at you confused. He looks down at where his hand is and then at you and gives you an apolagrtic smile going to move his hand "I didn't tell you to stop" you mutter as you move in closer to him.
A boyish smile plasters across his face as you climb on his lap and start kissing his neck. "Would've done this ages ago if I knew you'd act like this". You don't think of protesting to his statement, instead you shut him up by kissing him.
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Renjun
When I tell you he knows you like his hands. He'll take any opportunity to say that. Puts his hand on your thigh and lightly squeezes while he's talking to a friend.
But his favorite activity so far is pulling your shirt up and holding your tits, you'll look down to see his hands and then to him and he'll just smile "thought they needed a holder" he says as he playfully pushes them up. Your nipples between his forefinger and middle finger, he pinches at them before moving to using this thumb to circle the now hard buds "and you said you loved my hands" he whispers in your ear "you can watch them as I play with your tits" he whispers as he kisses just below your earlobe.
Whatever you were doing is forgotten as you lean into his touch. You put your hands on his forearms as he continues go play with your tits. He lightly tugs at the buds watching your face for every reaction as he does so.
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Jeno
Face first into them. He'll come back from the gym and just needs to recharge. He'll drop his bag and crawl on top of you, lifting your shirt up making you giggle as his soft and damp hair tickles your skin. He knows you don't wear a bra while at home so all he needs to do is lay down.
And lay he does, his weight on you like a weighted blanket, his considerably hotter body warming you up. Any protest of him being too warm, too heavy, or stinky fall to deaf ears, he knows you love this about him. He's heard one too many times, of you talking to your friends about it when you think he's asleep.
If you start complaining a little too much though he'll sneak one of his hands up to your tit and gently massage it also lifting his head up so he can take your nipple into his mouth. Instantly your words get caught in your throat at his actions as he rolls the hardening bub between his lips. It's muscle memory at this point, he doesn't need to put much thought into remembering what you like.
He lightly sucks at the bud rolling his tongue along the tip. He release it with a wet pop as he moves his head go to the other resuming the same actions. You put your hand on top of patting it gently "okay-o-kay i-i get it I'll shut up" you say in defeat and he pauses his actions "but please don't stop" you mumble. He smiles and continues pulling you almost impossibly close to him.
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Heachan
Omg gamer alert. He loves playing games but he also loves watching you play games, any kind of game as long as you're passionate about it. Just the intensity of your concentration. You're so in tune that you didn't notice him sneaking up behind you, or when his hands slid under your shirt to grope your breasts.
You only really take notice when he tells you to use a specific item. Now the warmth on your chest makes sense. But you don't bother to say anything "it's extra support" he says as he excuses now playing with your nipples as he watches you play. "Heachan you're distracting me" you protest as you slightly curl into yourself. God if only he didn't know they were so sensitive.
He smirks "oh,don't mind me" he says as he continues now also kissing along your neck. He completely understands why you distract him from his game a whole lot now. A moan slips past your lips as he starts to suck a new hickey onto your neck. You quickly hit pause on your game and try your best to pull him closer to you.
"Fu-fuck this" you mumble as you pull him into a kiss which he gladly accepts. He leans over your chair pushing you deeper into it. Oh now he gets it, the power he feels just from doing this, he could get used to doing this more often.
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Jeamin
Loves watching you dress. Especially when you're still half asleep. The first thing you put on is a some pants. Then you walk around looking for your bra. And when you find it, you waddle on over to him for help. Tho it's not his favorite thing in the world "aw cmon let your tits outs" he'd protest but he does enjoy helping you put the clasps on if you're struggling. He gets to sneakily hold you tits saying he's adjusting the cups.
He also enjoys seeing your shirt bunched up at the top as you try to remember where you left your deodorant. He always comes up behind you and slides one of his hands under the cup of your bra as he reaches up to where it is, he always miss places it so he has the chance to. He squishes at the soft flesh as he leans down to kiss your cheek "you always forget where you put it~" he teases as he puts the deodorant in your hands.
It seems now's the time to forget about getting dressed as you turn your head to capture your lips in his, you don't miss the little smirk as you do so.
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Chenle
Domestic moment! Doesn't usually do it out of the blue, but seeing you doing some menial task like washing the dishes, making your self a snack, standing in the kitchen while he's in there, just doing anything in the kitchen. It fills him with the urge of being close to you. Skin to skin. But he can't since he doesn't want to disturb you.
So he settles for sliding his hands under your shirt, resting his hands on your bare hips and playing with the waistband of your shorts. "Lele what are you doing? " you ask with a slight giggle as he taps his fingers. "Can't I touch the love of my life? " he asks as he lightly squeezes at your hips.
You shake your head "I know what you're doing" you say in faux annoyance. Even if he doesn't do it often you know his ulterior motives. He feigns ignorance as he slides his hands up your hips to your waist "I have no idea what you're talking about". He says smile clear in his voice. His hands keep on wandering until they're at your ribcage just below the swell of your breast.
"Chenle" you say in a warning tone, but just as you utter his name he does the opposite. He easily pushes up your bra and replaces it by cupping your breasts. He smiles to himself as you sigh in defeat. He lays his head on your shoulder to look at what you're doing "whatcha doing anyways? " he innocently asks looking at your hands that are frozen in place as he starts to toy with your nipples.
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Jisung
He shyly slides his hands up to your chest. They were already there hugging your waist as you sit in his lap. He can't remember exactly why you're there but now he just has to hold them in his hands. They inch up slowly watching for any hesitation.
But to his suprise you just move his hands to your tits yourself, a surprised gasp leaving his lips as you do so. He hides his face in the crook of your neck slightly embarrassed by your boldness. But that doesn't mean he'll stop. You just gave him permission why would he stop now?
His hands automatically cup your breasts lightly squeezing at the flesh as he gently rolls his fingers over it. He loves the small reactions you give him despite being immersed in your own thing. The small gasp you let out as his pointer finger pushes on your nipple and then rolls over it. Or the way you stiffle a moan as he starts kissing at your neck both of his hands now gently playing with your tits. He's all too observant of every reaction even when you slightly shift and lean back against him.
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jobean12-blog · 8 months
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This Spells Love
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (Best friends to lovers)
Word Count: 2,782
Summary: Bucky is your best friend and he really is the best but he wants more, he wants everything, but the idea that it could ruin your friendship and he could lose you is too much...
Author's Note: This is for @the-slumberparty February Sleepover Challenge, Eight Types of Love and Philia (deep friendshp-friends to lovers). Our reader is a bit oblivious to Bucky's feelings but it all works out just fine in the end. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy!
Warnings: lots of fun and fluff and sweetness and Bucky being the best and some tension and a bit of flirty fun too, slightly oblivious reader.
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The groan Bucky lets loose makes you spin your head to look at him.
“Did you say something?” you ask, trying to speak loud enough over the din of the bar.
He shakes his head no and digs his teeth into his bottom lip when you smile and shift again in his lap, turning back to your group of friends. Every time you move it’s sweet torture but he can’t seem to keep himself away…and besides, there are no empty seats…he can’t let you stand and you wouldn’t want him to stand…so sitting in his lap it is!
His fingers dig into your thigh and you turn to face him again.
“Are you sure?” you ask, searching his face.
“Yeah, doll. All good.”
Steve shoots Bucky a smirk and Bucky shoots back a steady death glare.
“Did I miss something?” you ask Nat, who’s sitting to your left.
She just smiles and takes a sip of her drink.
You can feel Bucky’s warm breath on your neck before he speaks.
“You want another doll face?” he asks.
With a pensive tilt of your head you pause before telling him, “yeah, one more.”
“I’ll be right back,” he whispers against your ear.
He deposits you in the seat and walks toward the bar.
You instantly feel his absence and fiddle with your empty glass. You listen to Steve and Sam argue about their last run time while Nat and Wanda chime in, teasing both boys but the conversation starts to fade away when you feel the weight of Bucky’s eyes and you look toward the bar to catch him staring.
He waves awkwardly and you giggle.
“I’ll be right back,” you say to the table.
When you reach the bar Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up in question.
“You looked bored,” you shrug.
“Thanks doll,” he winks.
There are even more people by the bar and they continue to crowd around you, pushing to get closer. When someone bumps you particularly hard Bucky pins them with a murderous stare before he slips his metal arm around your waist and pulls you in front of him.
He settles both hands on the bar top on either side of you and leans his chin on your shoulder.
“Too many people,” he explains as his hard chest presses into your back.
You snuggle into the safety of his arms and wait for your drink.
“Are you ever gonna say something to her man?” Sam asks Bucky as they stand outside the bar with Steve.
You, Wanda and Nat are in the bathroom.
“About what?” Bucky asks with an incredulous expression.
Sam rolls his eyes and Steve’s hands land on his hips.
“Buck,” Steve sighs. “You’re torturing yourself.”
“No I’m not,” Bucky counters. “Not having her at all would be torture.”
His last words come out quietly and Sam and Steve give each other a knowing look.
“Well, I still think you should do something…say something…she might feel the same way. What have you got to lose?” Sam asks.
“Everything,” Bucky answers as he watches you come out the door and back to his side.
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As you walk down the street toward your apartment building you can feel Bucky staring so you give him a sideways glance.
“It’s the shoes, isn’t it?” he demands when he catches your eye.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say and lift your chin.
“This always happens at the end of the night doll face. You wear these shoes and they hurt your feet and then I’m supposed to just watch you suffer.”
 “I have a solution,” you chime with a determined smile.
He stops walking to watch as you slip off your shoes and place your bare feet back onto the sidewalk with a contented sigh.
When you see Bucky’s scowl it makes your smile widen. “What’s the problem now Barnes?”
“Put them back on doll. You’re going to step on something like broken glass or worse…”
You spin away with a breeze and start walking again but before you get very far your feet leave the ground and you’re cradled against his chest.
“You were put on his Earth to drive me crazy; you know that doll face?”
“I’m not sorry about it,” you whisper into the collar of his shirt. “Does that make me a bad person?”
You giggle when you feel his huff of frustration.
“No. You could never be a bad person.”
As you nuzzle closer and inhale his familiar scent you express a quiet, “thank you,” before yawning.
“Too tired for the stars tonight?” he asks as his arms flex to heft you higher.
“No! I love when we look at the stars.” You tilt your head back and look at the sky. “It’s a clear night too.”
“Don’t you like it?” you ask, bringing your eyes back to his.
“I love it,” he says. “Just like I love when you practice new baking recipes and I get to taste test them all.”
“That’s fun for me too except that you say you like everything I bake! It can’t all be that good.”
You lay a soft hand against his scruffy cheek and the corner of his mouth kicks up.
“It’s all that good,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument.
“Well the next time my macaroons don’t have good feet you better speak up Buck!”
“Macarons have feet…not macaroons…big difference,” he says.
You hum against his neck with a smile. “I know that. Just making sure were paying attention.”
His hold on you tightens slightly and he looks down just as your eyes start to close.
He’s always paying attention.
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Bucky slows his steps and turns on his heels, watching as Sam and Steve approach.
“Man you two are slow today,” he teases.
Steve purses his lips and throws a thumb in Sam’s direction. “I’m just trying to keep this one company.”
Sam grunts out a string of curses and plops down on the nearby bench.
“I can’t stand either of you,” Sam says between catching his breath.
“I have to make a phone call,” Bucky states as he saunters off for some privacy.
He presses your name on the screen and puts it to his ear.
“Hiya doll face,” he says when you pick up.
“Hi Buck!”
“Are you on your way home yet?”
“I am.”
“Pizza?”
“Sure, I’m starving…”
“Me t…”
“Of course you are,” you cut in. “You’re always hungry.”
He laughs. “Well I did just finish a run.”
“I’ll meet you at my place?” you ask.
“Sounds good, how much time do you need?”
You open your mouth to answer but the words die on your lips when your foot catches a crack on the sidewalk and you careen forward.
“Doll?” Bucky asks, “you still there?”
He hears scuffling but you still don’t answer.
“Doll?”
His heart beats faster the longer you don’t reply and instinctively his feet start to carry him toward your workplace.
“Where are you goin’?” Sam asks as Bucky runs by.
“Everything ok?” Steve asks.
“I gotta go,” is all Bucky says as he starts jogging.
He’s already half way to you when you pick your phone up off the concrete and try to say hello. The screen is cracked and black and you curse under your breath.
“Bucky?” you say softly but your phone is dead.
You try to put pressure on your ankle but it hurts and with a wince you scoot backwards to avoid the foot traffic. You search the crowd, waiting for someone to stop and help but it isn’t until you see Bucky rush toward you that you feel true relief.
He’s at your side, kneeling on the concrete and running his eyes over every inch of you. He’s sweaty and breathing heavily and one of the most welcoming sights you’ve ever seen.
“Thank fuck,” he breathes out. “I was worried sick.”
You start to say you’re sorry but he interrupts you.
“You tripped didn’t you?” he asks.
You nod.
“How?”
“My foot…got stuck. I don’t even know.”
He stares at you blankly before pinching the bridge of his nose. When he opens his mouth to speak you clap a hand over it.
“I know…I’m clumsy and I have to be more careful…just take me home.”
His expression softens.
“Of course doll, it’s a good thing I’m here.”
“It is,” you echo. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He gently brushes his fingers over your ankle, inspecting it.
“Come on doll. Let’s get some ice on this.”
When you reach the door of your apartment Bucky props you up against his side, his hand secured around your waist and his fingers slipping under your shirt when he moves so you can get your keys.
He sucks in a breath at the contact and you give him a confused look.
“What happened?”
“Nothin’,” he answers, willing his fingers to stay put and not explore your soft skin. “Got your keys?”
“Right here,” you say and hand them over.
He unlocks the door and helps you inside.
“We forgot the pizza!” you say, whirling around and nearly falling over since you’re mostly supporting yourself on one leg.
He reaches out and snakes his arm around your waist again. “Woah, careful doll face.”
You place a palm on his chest and lean into him. “I’m hungry.”
“I’ll order a pizza right now. Don’t worry.”
“Order two. You practically eat a whole one yourself.”
“True,” he winks.
He pulls out his phone and starts to dial the pizza place.
“Wanna stay and watch a movie?” you ask.
His fingers pause and hover over the buttons as he looks up at you. “Which movie?”
“Hmm…how about Magic Mike?”
“Doll.”
“Alien?”
“You won’t sleep for weeks,” he says with a stern look.
“Fine! What about…” and you tap your chin.
“Notting Hill,” he suggests.
Your eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
“Sure,” he shrugs and rubs the back of his neck. “Steve said I should watch it.”
You give him a wide smile and push from his grasp, limping toward your bedroom. Bucky watches until you safely sit yourself on the bed and then goes to the freezer to grab a frozen bag of vegetables.
“I can’t wait until the pizza gets here,” you sigh as you start to unbutton your shirt. He tries to focus on what you’re saying but when you pull the fabric from your shoulders and reveal the light camisole beneath he suddenly feels like a trapped animal needing to either pounce or run away at full speed.
“Will you put the movie on Buck? I don’t want to get up again.”
You collapse back onto the bed and needing the closest distraction he takes the bag of peas and places it on your ankle, adjusting it so it doesn’t fall.
“Thanks,” you say. “Don’t forget the movie Buck.”
He blinks at you several times. “You want to watch it in here? What about the couch?”
He gestures to himself. “Look at me. I can’t get in your bed like this. I’m a sweaty mess.”
“You smell good to me but if you want to shower, there are extra towels in the hall closet.”
You hear the water turn on a few minutes later and realize you’re thirsty so you peel yourself off the bed and limp to the kitchen, knowing Bucky will reprimand you when he realizes you got up without his help.
Once you have your water you go back to your bedroom and wait for the shower to turn off, closing your eyes briefly.
You don’t even realize you’ve lightly dozed off until you hear Bucky’s heavy tread on the wood floor. You open your eyes and see him standing in the doorway, filling the entire frame.
Shirtless. Skin still shiny with wetness and his jeans sitting low on his hips, revealing the V shape of his muscles. And then you drag your eyes higher and stare at his abs, now flexing as he lifts the towel and rubs it over his hair one last time.
His metal arm shines under the bright lights in your room, distracting you further but not enough to miss the droplet of water that escapes the swipe of the towel and rolls down his sharp jaw before sliding down his neck and between his pecs. It get’s lost somewhere in the valleys of his six pack but your eyes move down again, landing on the dark trail of hair below his belly button.
“Did you forget I was here doll face?” he asks.
The sound of his voice pulls you from your haze and your eyes shoot up to his.
“No…” you start. “I just…I don’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
“How?”
“Doll did you hit your head when you fell?”
“NO!” you answer far too loudly. “It’s not that. I’m fine. My ankle just hurts but I don’t understand how you have those abs.”
You motion to his stomach and he looks down.
“You eat whole pizzas!”
He throws his head back with a laugh and then drops the towel into your hamper. He’s still grinning when he rounds the bed and climbs in behind you, all his muscles flexing as he settles in.
“Yeah well, I run a lot…and you know the serum helps.”
Your laughter eases the tension a little but only until he places his hands beneath his head and stretches out, making your bed feel tiny.
“Why don’t you ever bring girls around Buck?”
Your question surprises both of you and your apology catches in your throat.
He sits up without warning and reaches for your glass of water, taking a long sip.
“Forget I asked,” you mumble. “I shouldn’t have.”
He shakes his head and takes another drink.
“Do you want me to bring girls around?”
Your immediate reaction is to inwardly scream NO! but instead you ask, “would we still be able to hang out like we do?”
“Probably not doll face,” he says and shifts closer. “Pretty sure you’d make any girl jealous.”
“Then no,” you whisper. “No girls.”
You look away with the admission and then blurt out.
“You smell like my bodywash now. Did you use my shampoo too?”
“Nah,” he murmurs. “Just used the bar soap.”
You face him again and then lean over to sniff his head.
“You definitely used it, don’t lie!”
Capitalizing on having you so close Bucky wraps his arm around you and draws you against his side. Your head lands on his shoulder and you instantly relax, feeling safe and warm.
“You smell good. I like it,” he murmurs.
“I like the way you smell better,” you say sleepily, mumbling something else incoherent before you start to doze off.
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You wake slowly and as the heaviness of sleep wears off you open your eyes to partial darkness and become acutely aware of the hum of anticipation that travels over your sensitized and warm skin. You feel taut and the building pressure between your legs makes you rub your thighs together.
Bucky’s steadying breath makes you turn in his arms, your chest brushing his. You can feel your pulse beat against your skin, pounding wildly all over your body.
For long seconds you study his face and then your eyes are obscured by your lashes when your gaze travels lower, over his bare chest and then even lower to the obvious bulge in his jeans.
“Bucky I…”
Your eyes lock for a fleeting moment and then his gaze drops to your mouth. He dips his head, running his nose along your jaw until his lips lightly brushing the skin of your cheek.
“If you want me to stop…tell me now.”
You say nothing, his delicate touch making your entire body tremble. Then his lips graze yours, just barely, the quick taste not nearly enough.
“Or now…”
Your eyes are closed and you make no sound.
He presses his lips to yours, softly at first, searching and waiting for you to react but when a moan gathers at the back of your throat it’s all the reassurance he needs and he sweeps his thumb across your cheek, cradling your face and angling your head for a deeper taste.
When he rolls his hips you feel the fullness of his arousal against your belly and your lips part on a gasp. A low growl rumbles in his chest and he pulls away to look at you.
“Is that for me?” you ask, still breathless.
“It’s all yours…if you want it.”
His eyes darken with the words and you see the heat in his intense gaze but it only makes you feel coveted and safe.
“I want you Bucky. I don’t want anyone but you.”
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