#forcefields are THE coolest thing you can have

[slasherscream]

She Likes a Boy (And I’m Not Just a Boy)

pairing:  jordan li x fem!reader

summary: You and Jordan are friends with benefits, and Jordan is trying so hard to be okay with that. Somehow, they still fell in love with you despite their best efforts to not fucking do that. But you've only ever fucked them when they're a guy, so they assume you're only interested in them one way. Just like everyone else. You've never said anything to make them think any different so it's obvious, right? So they take what they can get. Which is only half. And they keep you at a distance, because anything else will kill them.

A/N: flashbacks are in all Italics. some smut.

gif credit: artemidosgifs and stannyramirez

“Oh shit, Jordie, wait-” You can’t catch your breath, legs shaking where they’re thrown over Jordan’s shoulders. 

“Stop fucking squirming.” Jordan huffs, licking some of your wetness off your thigh.

Your vision is swimming a little. How long have you been in this position? Or in Jordan’s room? It’s hard to keep track of anything, when you’re with them. His tongue finds your clit again. Insistent, rough swipes. You’re too overworked now for anything gentle to even register. How many times have you cum now? 

“You always taste so fucking good.” Jordan moans, voice hoarse and low.

He puts a hand under your back to press you further into his mouth. With only your shoulders pushed into the mattress you can’t move. Jordan’s eyes are always glued to your face when you fuck. As if he’s daring you to shy away from whatever he’ll do to you next. 

Considering that his favorite thing to do is overstimulate you, you’re not sure the irritation is fair. What are you supposed to do when he’s made you cum four times and is still going? According to Jordan, the answer is simple: lie there and take it. 

Lifting you up. Pinning you down. These are the solutions he’s arrived at. Jordan hates having to chase you just to give you the orgasm you begged him for in the first place. 

“You ready for my fingers again?” Jordan asks, but it’s not a real question, because you don’t get to so much as gasp before he’s plunging three fingers into you again. 

He’s rough as he rocks his fingers into that soft spot inside of you that always makes your eyes roll back into your head. He knows the angle you like him to use by heart. 

“Fucking shit, Jordan!” Your hands fall into his hair, grip like a vice, and Jordan half moans and half laughs against you.

It’s the vibrations that send you over the edge again. The breath leaving your lungs in one rush as that coil inside releases and makes the world go white and your ears ring. 

You come back to yourself slowly. Jordan hovering over you, pressing kisses into the side of your neck. You grasp at his shoulders, pulling him down so that he's laying on top of you. The weight is comforting after the overwhelming head rush. You still feel shaky. He goes down easily, wrapping one arm underneath you.

“I can feel you smirking, jerk.” You laugh weakly, hitting his arm.

“You soaked my fucking fingers. Think I'm allowed a smirk.” Jordan says. 

He lifts his head from your neck and there's that smug look you love to see him wear. It's enough to make you ready to have him all over again. You settle on gently massaging his scalp. 

“I'll tell you what you're allowed.” You tease, grinning at him. 

“Hah! Always have enough energy to be a fucking brat, huh?” Jordan rolls his eyes. 

You wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer. “I've got enough energy to make out too! Gimme a kiss.”

“Fucking insatiable.” Jordan scoffs, but gives in. Because he always does. 

It's hard to think when Jordan kisses you. He kisses like he doesn't need to breathe. Or be anywhere else but with you. One of his hands finds yours, locking your fingers together. You squeeze tight. Try not to imagine holding his hand like this outside each other's dorms. Because that only ever makes you feel empty afterwards when all the hormones from the orgasms should leave you floating.

You get a third wind when Jordan rocks his hips against yours and you feel he's hard again. You reach a hand between the two of you, grasping his dick to angle him back inside. Thank God for Supe refractory periods. You sigh when his tip pushes into you. 

“Yeah princess? You want me again?” He tries to sound teasing, nonchalant, but he only sounds like he wants you just as bad.

You rock your hips so that he slides inside fully. Watch him tilt his head back and moan for you as you move. Hungrily taking in the way every sound shapes his mouth. You lean up to kiss at the underside of his jaw. You can't leave any hickies on him but you always kiss him like you want to. God you fucking wish you could. Maybe if you could leave marks people wouldn't chase after them so much. If everyone knew Jordan was yours. But Jordan isn't yours. 

You bite him a little harder.

Jordan's hand finds your throat. You whine, the noise strangled against his palm. You go lax as he pushes you back into the bed. Gently. His fingers flex, a little tighter, and your eyes flutter shut. 

“Gonna be good for me?” Jordan asks.

You nod your head frantically, legs dragging him closer. It's never close enough. No matter what you do. 

“Yeah, I'll be good, Jordie.” You say the words he wants to hear, feeling your head go soft and thoughtless again.

“Fucking liar.” He grinds his hips into yours and chokes you harder when you clench around him. 

You’d been fast friends, best friends, since the moment you stepped on campus and met one another as freshman. Talking to Jordan. Spending time with them. Everything that first year didn’t even feel like getting to know one another. It just felt like coming home.

You didn’t say as much to Jordan. They would have rolled their eyes and scoffed at how sensitive you were, if you had. But you knew they felt the same way. You were the one Jordan went to whenever they were sad. When they were excited. When they were coming into themselves, learning to love who they were after a lifetime of everyone else telling them not to. 

You were the first person to see them. Before Brink, even, you saw them. All their potential. All their greatness. All of them, and Jordan had never forgotten that. 

Jordan saw you too, in turn. You’d never felt like much more than a pretty face, before Jordan. 

You were the type of beautiful that made people look twice when they walked past you. When you were a little girl you soaked in all the praise like a flower. Every: ‘she’s so pretty’, and ‘well look at her!’, or ‘oh wow!’ was nourishment to your little soul.

It would be impossible to pinpoint the moment you realized that was all anyone saw. Even once your powers manifested. Advanced healing, advanced reflexes, limited invulnerability, energy manipulation. You were the whole nine yards. Your parents, when you were thirteen, had sent a video of you using your powers off to Vought. 

A man and woman showed up a day later in suits, wanting to meet you personally.

“She sure is a little looker, isn’t she?” The man had said, and he’d held your hand for too long before he let go. 

They’d come prepared. With ideas for costumes. Which team of teenage Supes you should be placed with. If you should just go straight for television. The adults talked around you. Not paying you any mind as you stared at the costume that would reveal so much skin. You’d never worn a skirt that short before. You hadn’t been allowed, hadn’t even wanted to, really. If you’d come home from the mall having bought anything like that on your own, your parents would have blown a fuse. Now they just sat on either side of you, mile wide grins plastered on their faces. 

All the voices faded to background noise. You realized maybe you were too young to be a superhero. You thought it would involve more... saving people. Running into burning buildings. Getting the bad guys. Saving the day. The people from Vought were only talking about magazine spreads. About what persona would fit your look. 

“What about school?” You’d asked, quietly, and everyone in the room had turned to look at you baffled. 

“What about school, sweetheart?” The woman laughed. “You’ll get a private tutor, of course. But your future is big. You won’t even have to worry about stuff like that anymore. Goodbye lame homework. Hello red carpets!” 

You sat very quietly until they left. Your parents were more angry than you’d ever seen them, when you told them you wanted to wait until after high-school to pursue being a hero. 

You knew telling them you weren’t sure you wanted to do it at all was off the table. 

During high-school you noticed people didn’t listen to you. You would be telling someone about your favorite book; or talking about a movie that changed your whole worldview, only to realize the other person had been staring at your lips the entire time. 

You stopped talking so much about things you cared about. No one listened anyways. 

‘Bimbo.’

‘Airhead.’

‘Slut.’ 

Were all things you’d heard before you’d ever gone on your first date. Gotten so much as your first kiss on the cheek. High-school was lonely, and you couldn’t talk about it being lonely without sounding like an asshole, you quickly realized. The few friends you had would roll their eyes when you’d try and vent. You thought it was just playful ribbing. Friends tease each other. It made you feel included! Until you caught them mocking you behind your back to one another.

‘Look at me, I’m Y/N, and life’s so hard because I’m so pretty and popular. Is she fucking serious? Stuck up bitch.’ 

You stopped venting.

When you got to God-U, you weren’t sure what to expect. College was a chance to reinvent yourself. Even if you weren’t sure you wanted to be a Superhero you knew this could be a chance to find your people. Lifelong friends. 

People who you could get coffees with between classes. Who would go to all your birthdays and want to be there. People you would spend hours on the phone with. Fall asleep studying together. Girls who might like you enough to make you their maid of honor. Guys who would high five you when you did something cool and not try to sneak a glance at your chest. 

You were imagining it all as you unpacked your boxes. Your stomach twisting itself into knots. Living in a half world between excitement and dread.

Then you met your roommate and she gave you the look. The look you’d gotten all your life from girls, and you knew you’d never be real friends. Girls who looked at you like that kept their boyfriends away from you at parties. And they never shared the secrets that friends share because they thought you’d put them in a fucking burn book. The look alone almost made you give up and just go home. 

You went for a walk instead, fighting back tears. That’s when you ran into Jordan. Literally, ran into Jordan. You knocked the both of you to the ground. 

When they’d snapped, “What the fuck dude?” at you, harsh and angry and very them, you’d burst into tears. 

It wasn’t the perfect way to meet your person. But you were glad you met them at all. 

 “Stop moving your eyes away from the screen.” Jordan says. 

“I’m not allowed to move my eyes away from the screen?” You laugh.

“No, this part is really important. You have to pay attention. I wanna see if you catch it.” 

You try your best to keep your eyes glued to the screen, as instructed. But you can’t help the way you keep glancing towards Jordan. She looks good. She always looks good, but right now you don’t even want to look away from her. The colors of the movie flashing across her face, blues and golds, make her look like a painting. 

“Are you watching?” Jordan asks, and you smile at the excitement in her voice. 

You look back towards the movie, wondering what she wants you to see so badly. You look just in time. A small detail catches your eyes and you gasp, reaching out a hand blindly to shake her in your own excitement. 

“Did you see that in the background?” You shake her again, for good measure.

“I saw it.” Jordan laughs.

“That means that he killed the wife!” 

“How do you figure?”

You pause the movie, ready to explain where you think the plot is heading. When you turn to face Jordan you have to take a deep breath. You don’t know whether you love or hate that look. Your feelings on the matter change day to day. 

Jordan is leaned up into the arm of the couch, relaxed, and she’s staring at you with The Smile she wears sometimes. She started doing it a few months into your friendship. Back when you used to talk and then slowly stop. So completely sure that nobody wanted to hear what you had to say. 

Jordan had asked you, back then, why you always stopped telling stories halfway through, or stopped talking about your day, or the latest book you’d read. 

You wanted to lie, at first. Eventually you told a half truth, “I never have anything interesting to say.” 

Jordan had looked at you for a long time. You were worried that somehow, up until that moment, they hadn’t realized how boring you were. But you acknowledging it out loud had made them think about it, and now they were going to ditch you for a friend who was interesting, funny, and smart. 

Instead, Jordan had told you that she loved the way your mind worked, and she’d smiled The Smile at you, for the first time. You hadn’t known how to respond, to the words, or the smile. You turned the conversation back towards Brink’s latest class assignment. 

Later that night you’d gone back to your dorm room and cried, but you’d felt happier than you’d ever felt. 

It made you feel warm and soft that three years later Jordan still smiled at you like that. It felt like your cue to say anything on your mind, no matter how dumb. Green light means go. The Smile means talk. 

“Well?” Jordan nudges you with her foot, still smiling, and waiting for you. 

You shake your head to break free of the spell she puts you in, “Well, look at his sense of style for the entire movie. All his stuff is modern and sleek and then the first time we see his bedroom all the rest of the decor is in line with the rest of the house, except that one thing. All the camera shots are so purposeful and they lingered a little, after he walked away. They wanted us to see he was keeping a trophy. He totally killed her, didn’t he?” 

Jordan pauses for a second and then laughs. “I don’t know how you always guess right. I didn’t see the twist coming at all the first time I watched it.”

“Secondary super power.”

“Connecting all the dots?”

“Connecting all the dots, yeah.” 

“Y/N! Y/N, thank fucking god, you gotta come with me.” Cate grabbed you by the arm, rougher than she’d ever touched you before. 

“I was on my way to class.” You tripped over your feet as Cate pulled you the opposite way you needed to go.

“Forget class! Jordan’s gonna get themself expelled.” Cate snapped. 

“What?!” 

“They’re beating the shit out of Peter in the locker room. Luke’s not on campus. I can’t get close enough to stop them-”

You’d broken into a sprint towards the fighting arena. You didn’t know what the hell was happening. Peter and Jordan had spoken maybe ten times to each other in all the years of attending the same university. 

You’d never gotten anywhere so fast in your life. Andre was standing steadfast in front of the entrance to the boy’s locker room, a small group of other students standing outside. You could hear the sounds of fighting pouring out from the door. 

“Back it up you fucking vultures.” Andre snipped. He might not have super strength but he was still Number 4, and could look intimidating when he needed to. 

“Andre, what’s going on?” You pushed to the front of the crowd. 

“Thank fuck Cate found you. You gotta get in there. Jordan’s gonna fucking mur-” Andre glanced at the phones pointed at the both of you, trying to record even a drip of gossip about top students trying to seriously hurt each other and lowered his voice, “Jordan is actually gonna fucking kill Peter. I’ll keep the crowds back. Get in there.” 

You moved past him into the locker room and your jaw dropped at the state of the place. 

You thought these lockers were bolted down. Apparently not. At least four rows of them were knocked to the ground, heavily dented. A water bottle refilling station had been crumpled to nothing, exposed pipe spraying water across the floor.

“Get off of me you fucking animal.” You heard Peter cry from further in the room and ran. 

Jordan had shoved Peter up against the wall. You were surprised Peter was still conscious. He was lucky he healed so fast. You could see his black eye fading even as Jordan broke his nose. 

“You fucking stay away from her. You understand? I hear you fucking talking like that again and I take the tongue out of your fucking mouth, you asshole.” 

Peter laughs through a mouth full of blood,“Not my fault she gave it up so easy, Li-” 

Jordan throws him into one of the last standing lockers and you see that they are indeed bolted into the ground. Evidently, Jordan throws stronger than Supe resistant steel can take. When Jordan moves to lift Peter out of the crater his body made in the downed locker you rush in between them, putting a shield up. 

“Y/N?” You can see some of the anger fade from Jordan’s face, just a little, at the sight of you.

“Hey, Jordie. Think Peter has had enough.”

Jordan scoffs, “No, he really fucking hasn’t,” he leans around you to yell at Peter, who’s trying to push himself onto his knees, “He’s still running his fucking mouth!” 

“Pussy whipped asshole-” Peter groans.

You glance at Peter on the floor, aghast, “Peter! Stop antagonizing, Jordan. What’s wrong with you?” 

“Unbelievable, honestly. You walk in on Jordan kicking my ass and you tell me to stop antagonizing the fucker?” Peter huffs, pushing his nose back into place so it won’t heal wrong. 

“Name calling isn’t gonna make him stop kicking your ass. I’m trying to help.” You shoot back.

“Well, no one needs your help, you dumb-” 

“Hey.” Jordan interrupts. He’s not yelling anymore, but his voice is the loudest thing in the room. “Watch your mouth, Peter. I fucking mean it.” 

You look back and forth between them. They watch each other for a long moment. Jordan looking eerily calm. Peter looks away first. 

“Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought. Come on, Y/N.” Jordan grabs your hand and marches you out of the locker room. Past Andre and Cate, who try to stop you both but Jordan waves them off and muscles his way past the crowd too. 

He doesn’t stop until you’re back in his dorm room and he’s shut the door behind the two of you. 

“You were fucking that loser?” He asks, clicking the lock into place.    

“You’re lucky Andre and Cate kept people out of the locker room so there’s no video of everything! You could get expelled, Jordan! What the fuck happened?” 

“He hit me first and he’s not even in the top ten. What’s he at? Number 14? No one’ll give a shit what happens to him. When did you start fucking him?”

“I’m not fucking him! Or… I’m not just, fucking him. I’m… I was dating him. Why were you two fighting?” 

“Dating? For how fucking long? You didn’t tell me you were dating anyone.” Jordan’s hair is already a disheveled mess. He yanks his fingers through the strands and makes it worse. 

“We’ve been going on dates for like… three months? Kinda? Maybe.” You say quietly. 

“Three months?! Are you serious? Why didn’t you tell me? What the fuck?” 

“Why are you so mad?”

“Friends talk to each other about shit like this! And if you’d talked to me, I would have told you that Peter is a clout chasing piece of shit that’ll never amount to anything. You should’ve heard the shit he was saying today. Fucking piece of shit!” 

“That’s why you were fighting?” You wring your hands together, a knot tying itself over and over in your stomach. “What did he say?”

Jordan stops pacing the room, goes still and turns away from you. 

“Well? What did he say? It was bad enough to make you two beat the shit out of each other! So what was it?” 

“He just… You don’t have to worry about it, okay? He won’t go near you again.” Jordan says firmly.

“Whatever he said he’s gonna keep saying. Just behind my back. I should know.”

Jordan sighs and moves to sit beside you on his couch, knee bouncing with anxiety. “He was… bragging to his shitty friends. About being the first guy on campus to fuck you. About how it didn’t even take that long and… how… he was thinking of recording you. So he could show them how slutty you are. It was…. fucking disgusting.” 

“Oh.” You say. 

You swallow around the lump in your throat. You’d done everything you could to avoid something like this happening. Had kept your dates off campus, to make sure he actually wanted to date you and not just the hot girl ranked Number 3. You’d spent nights staying up on the phone laughing and talking. You’d put off sleeping with Peter for a whole two months, even though you liked him, because you wanted to make sure he liked you. 

You hadn’t even let him call you his girlfriend until a few days ago. You thought he really liked you. But no matter how hard you try… you guess this is it. You’re just something pretty to look at. Even Vought doesn’t take you seriously, despite your powers. You’re the top ranked student in everything. Right behind Jordan. Forensic analysis. Combat. Battle strategy. Still, you only ever get asked about makeup routines and how to maintain your figure in interviews. 

You wipe at your burning eyes and try not to cry about something you’ve already accepted. 

“Fuck that guy. Fuck him. He’s so far beneath your level I’m surprised you can perceive his plane of fucking existence, okay? He’s a fucking single cell organism. He doesn’t even know what a brain is.” Jordan gets up from the couch to kneel in front of you, tries to look you in the eyes. 

“I’m so fucking stupid.” 

“No, you fucking are not. Don’t say that about yourself. He’s fucking stupid. It’s genuinely insane you even wasted your time with him. Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing anyone?” Jordan asks, voice quiet.

“I just…. I wanted to make sure he was actually gonna stick around before I even brought him up to you. You’re so … important, why tell you about someone who isn’t? It’s not like you write home to me about any of the people you mess around with! We’ve never really talked about this kind of stuff.” 

“Yeah, but it’s different. I’m not serious about anyone! You were actually dating, Peter. And I would have told you not to.” Jordan rolls his eyes.

“Well, I wanted to make sure it was serious. Before I even said anything.” 

“It wouldn’t have gotten serious if you’d told me about it in the first place. I wouldn’t have let Peter within ten feet of you!” 

“We’re talking in circles.” You huff in frustration, pressing your palms into your eyes to stop the stinging.

“Sorry, I just…. Fucking still wish I was beating the shit out of him, honestly.” Jordan says.

“You are not leaving this room for the rest of the day, Li. Even if he is Number 14, you can’t walk away from a fight then go back for seconds cause you didn’t get it all out the first time. That won’t hold up too well in court.”

“He heals too fast for there to be any marks left on him. It’ll all be hearsay.” Jordan smirks.  

You let out a weak laugh. Jordan reaches out, touching the corner of your lips. “Can we shoot for something a little bigger? If I don’t see you smile soon I’ll actually go kill him.” 

You roll your eyes and slide to the edge of the couch, so you’re resting your head on Jordan’s shoulder, leaning all your weight against him. He wraps his arms around you, rubbing circles into your spine.

“I really wanted it to work out, Jordan.” You mumble into the skin of his collarbone.

“With fucking Peter?” 

“With… anyone.” Your voice wavers and Jordan’s grip gets tighter. “It’s so fucking lonely. I just want to be someone’s favorite person. Not because of how I look, but because they like me. Really like me. And no one fucking does, no matter how hard I try.” The tears start falling now and Jordan pulls back and makes you look up at him, one hand on your cheek. 

“Hey, hey, don’t cry. I fucking… I like you. I’ve always liked you.” Jordan says, frantic as he wipes away the tears as they come.

“It’s not the same, Jordan!” You shake your head, and bite your lip. You’d almost said it’s not enough. Because it isn’t. But you can't think about that for too long. It makes the hole in you ache a little worse. 

“Yeah….guess it’s not.” Jordan says quietly. He keeps wiping away the tears, dutiful and gentle as he goes. 

“You said he hit you first?” You ask, after a long moment of him quietly soothing you.

“Come on, I’m not stupid. Had to let him get the first swing in.” Jordan smirked.

“What did you say to make him hit you?” You ask.

“Told him he was lucky you believe in charity work and giving back to the fucking needy.” 

It’s enough to startle a laugh out of you. You smack his arm weakly before pulling him into another hug. He kisses the top of your head so softly you don’t notice it, too busy laughing. 

“Y/N, good to see you dear. You keeping our Jordan out of trouble?” Brink asks as he comes out of his office, not surprised to see you perched on Jordan’s desk. 

“Professor, we both know that I’m the one getting Jordan into trouble.” You flash the older man your most mischievous grin. 

“Ah, my apologies. I assume that means you’re distracting her from doing her work, as well?” Brink raises an eyebrow teasingly. 

“Yes.” You say.

“No.” Jordan protests, at the same time. 

You throw your head back with a laugh. “It’s a goal I hold most dear to my heart, to distract Jordan from grading these papers. I think I’m succeeding wonderfully, you’ll be happy to know, Professor.” 

“She’s joking, Professor.” Jordan smacks your thigh and you glance down just in time to burn the image of her hand on your thigh into your brain. She almost never touches you, when she’s like this. 

“You know, Jordan, I didn’t happen to lose my sense of humor after I hit sixty.” Brink waves off Jordan’s concern and leans towards the two of you, whispering conspiratorially, “I know the gray hair gives the illusion of being a boring old fart, but I do like to laugh every now and then.”

Jordan shakes her head with a small laugh and you can’t help but watch, entranced, at the way her hair brushes the olive skin of her cheeks. When you look back towards Brink you find him already watching you, a knowing smile on his lips. You laugh nervously, and look down at the wood grain texture of Jordan’s desk. It’s suddenly fascinating. Is it real oak? Cherry?

“You close to being done, Jordan?” Brink asks casually. 

“Uh-” Jordan’s face blanches and you suddenly feel genuinely sorry for distracting her from her work. 

“-relax, kiddo. You’re not in trouble. Geez, what am I, a work nazi? Those papers don’t need to be graded for another four days, right? You work too hard. I was just asking cause’ I was getting a little hungry myself and wanted to know if you could use a break? There’s a great new Indian place nearby, apparently. Professor. Karp was telling me about it yesterday. It’s only a twenty minute ride away. Wanna tag along?” 

“I should probably finish up a few more papers-” 

“She would love to take a break, Professor.” You reach over, saving the work Jordan’s done and shutting down her laptop at lightning speed. 

“Brat.” Jordan mouths the word at you quickly, so Brink won’t see. 

You stick your tongue out at her, not caring if anyone sees. 

“You should come along too, Y/N. Been awhile since we last caught up.” Brink has a twinkle in his eye that you can’t quite place.

You slide off Jordan’s desk anyways, not willing to pass up any valuable Time Spent With Jordan, “I’m not sure if I trust Professor Karp’s recommendation on restaurants, but I’ll try and be very brave about it if the food is awful.”

“Jordan, have I ever told you how much I love this girl?” Professor Brink shrugs on his coat with a laugh. 

“Yeah.” Jordan watches Brink help you into your own coat with a small smile. “Yeah, Professor you have.” 

“Fucking fuck me!” Jordan throws her phone onto the coffee table in front of her.

“Are the parental units being emotional terrorists again?” You ask from your spot on her bed, turning the page of your textbook, mindlessly highlighting another sentence that could be important for the upcoming final. 

“No, it’s just the whole fucking roster is busy.” Jordan roughly runs a hand through her hair, disheveling her bob. 

“Huh?” You look up from your notes.

“The whole roster is locked in for finals but I really need to let off some fucking steam!” Jordan sighs.

“How big is the roster?” You try to sound curious, like a best friend would be, and not irritated, like someone in love with their best friend would be. 

“Too big for me to not be fucking someone right now.” Jordan snips. 

“We are studying right now. Or I’m studying, and you should be studying too, instead of thinking about needing to get your rocks off.” You say coolly, flipping to the next page. 

“I can’t fucking focus.” Jordan groans, but comes back over to the bed and flops down beside you, throwing her arm over her eyes. “What concept are we on now?” 

“Theories on limiting public and private property damage in fights with other Supes.”

“There is no fucking way I can focus on something that fucking boring without having an orgasm first.”Jordan groans, again, “It’s not even about limiting loss of human life or injury?”

“Nope. Property damage.” 

“Fuck me!” 

You both fall into silence. You studying. Jordan, you assume, weighing the pros and cons of downloading Tinder. The thought makes your stomach drop.

Then you get an idea. An awful, horrible, no good, rotten fucking idea. 

Your mouth is opening before you can stop yourself, “You could fuck me.”

“Huh?” You’ve never seen Jordan sit up so fast.

“I just mean- … we really gotta focus and I... I mean if you just need to let off some steam we could always…” You try your best to fumble your way into proper usage of the English language but even the thought of fucking Jordan makes that impossible. 

“Are you serious right now?” Jordan shifts halfway through the sentence, eyes glued to your every nervous, jittery movement as you sit in front of him.

“Wouldn’t have said anything if it wasn’t a real offer.” You say quietly, not looking up from the book. 

Jordan snatches said book from your lap and tosses it away, ignoring your noise of protest. “You don’t think it’d make things weird?” 

“Weird was when I had to take you to get your wisdom teeth removed and you kept saying the green man was gonna get us while you were still high off the good stuff. Sex is just sex, right?” You try to say it casually. 

“Would… would it be a one time thing?” Jordan asks slowly.  

“It could be more… we could be-” You say, equally as slow. 

“- could be?” Jordan echoes, voice sounding oddly tight and expression carefully blank.

The look is so strange it makes you panic, and if you’d thought of saying something stupid and desperate for one second like ‘a couple’, well, that look on his face is more than enough to send you straight back to reality on the ‘my-life-fucking-sucks’ express in no time flat.

“We could be like friends with benefits!” You blurt out in one breath. 

“Oh.” Jordan says. 

“It was just an idea.” You reach for the textbook again, which landed near Jordan’s thigh. You’re careful not to touch him when you grab it, or sound too disappointed, or heartbroken at the completely lackluster reaction Jordan has to the thought of having sex with you. “A stupid idea, forget it.”

“Why’s it stupid?” Jordan’s brow furrows, tone teetering on the edge of defensive. 

“I mean…” You can’t think of a reason fast enough. “We’re probably sexually incompatible.” 

“Why do you assume that?” Jordan goes from staring at you, to glaring at you. 

You’ve always hated how once Jordan latches on to a line of questioning, you can’t get them to drop that interrogation for shit. A dog with a bone has nothing on a Jordan who wants an answer.

“I don’t… know?” You say, but it sounds like a question. 

“I think we’d be compatible.” Jordan states this like he’d state the sky is blue or water is wet. 

“Have you thought about it before?” You ask, bewildered. 

“What, are you into something really kinky?” Jordan answers your previous question not at all.

“No!” There goes that nervous body language of yours again. 

“Only way to really know if we’re sexually compatible is to actually try it out.” Suddenly, Jordan is within your personal space bubble. 

You don’t really know how to react, your body freezes up on instinct. Jordan’s hand comes up to rub soothing circles into the crook of your elbow. Your shoulders fall away from your ears.

“Can I kiss you?” Jordan’s voice is quiet, soft as he tilts his head to knock his nose against yours. Playful, teasing. But the look on his face is something you can’t place at all. 

You feel his breath on your lips and nod absentmindedly. 

“Don’t want you to nod when I ask you a question like this. Yes or no, Y/N?” 

“Ye-” The words not fully out of your mouth before Jordan is kissing you, a heavy hand pulling you closer by the nape of your neck. 

You pull yourself into Jordan’s lap and try to focus on how good it feels when he nips at your bottom lip, instead of how much you wished you’d asked him to be your boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Partner. Everything. Even if he’d said no, at least then you would have had an answer. Now you’ve only made your life harder. 

You stop thinking so much when Jordan puts a hand on your hip and guides you to grind yourself against him. 

“Y/N’s right.” Jordan mutters, not looking up from his phone. 

“No, she is not. You’re just agreeing with her because that’s your default factory setting. Listen to the context of the argument please.” Andre snaps, drowning his Vought Triple meat burger in ketchup.

“I did. Your grim dark theory on children’s media is lame, and Y/N knows more about the Monster’s Inc universe than you ever will.” Jordan shrugs.

“Hah!” You laugh in Andre’s face.

“Is it really such a flex to be an expert on the lore of a Pixar movie universe?” Cate asks teasingly. 

“Yes.” You say. 

“No.” Andre says, like a sore loser.  

“I agree with Y/N, it’s literally in the explicit text of the movie, Monsters Inc isn’t a post-apocalyptic world. It’s a separate dimension from ours. The monsters come to our dimension to harvest screams of children to get clean, scream energy. God, Andre, pay attention during movie night.” Luke jumps in on the tormenting Andre train, grinning wildly at the other man from across the table. He gets a middle finger for his troubles. 

“I’m glad someone pays attention to the intricate lore of the greatest movie of all time.” You sniff haughtily. 

“I literally agreed with you first.” Jordan looks at you from over the top of her phone in a way that makes you blush. 

“I’m glad two people are paying attention to the intricate lore of the greatest movie of all time.” You clear your throat. 

“Thank you.” Jordan’s intense brown eyes fall away from you and you take a gulp of your drink. 

“Bathroom alert, Y/N. A stall just opened up.” Cate tells you pointing to the bathroom door right as another girl exits. 

“I am kissing you on the lips, telepathically.” You say, sliding from the booth you’re all sharing.

“Don’t you telepathically lip lock with my girlfriend.” Luke calls after you, laughing.

“Get some powers of telepathy yourself and make me, fire boy.” You enter the bathroom, shutting out the sounds of laughter from your table with a smile. 

You take the biggest stall at the back and try to go about your business quickly. You hear two faucets turn on, someone washing their hands, and try not to get pee shy. 

“So how was it?” A monotone voice asks, you assume one of the hand washers.

“You know I don’t usually kiss and tell, but it was insane.” A higher, more giggly voice answers. 

“So they really are good in bed then, huh?” The monotone voice sounds a little more curious. 

“Incredible. All the rumors are true. They’re a little… uh, brusque, about the after sex part, if I’m putting it lightly, but the sex itself was great!” The high voice chirps. 

“What? Did they throw you a towel and tell you to kick rocks?” The monotone voice asks. 

“Pretty much.” The high voice sighs. “But they made me cum so many times I think I’d still pick up if they called me again. You think they might?” 

“I say this with all the love in the world: girl stand up.” Monotone voice drawls. 

“You wouldn’t be telling me that if you knew how good it felt to sit on her face.” High voice says.

You stifle a laugh, trying not to get caught eavesdropping, but with Supe hearing it really is hard to mind your own business. Besides, they’re not being that quiet about the conversation anyways. 

“I’ll have to take your word for it.”

“Or you could experience it for yourself. They were just as good as a boy as they were as a girl. Maybe better. I dunno. She was more aggressive as a girl, which was kinda hot.” 

“Jordan Li, pussy eating extraordinaire. Can we go now? Our food is probably ready.” Monotone voice sighs. 

“Fine, but I’m telling you, the things they can do with a strap are-” 

The voices fade away with the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing. 

You find you don’t really want to finish eating your food, when you get back to the table. You spend the rest of lunch trying your best not to look at Jordan, and also ignoring Cate’s concerned gaze boring into the side of your skull. 

You pretend to be sick to avoid having to face the reality of Jordan being more than happy to touch other girls as a girl. They just don’t want to touch you when they’re a girl. You wonder what about you is so uniquely off putting. You wonder why it can’t be you. Why can’t it ever fucking be you? 

Jordan barges into your room on day three of the silent treatment that you told the group chat was due to a raging fever. 

Luckily your eyes, swollen shut from all the crying, and the red nose to match, corroborate the story. 

“We got it all. We’ve got tissues. We got soup. We got pain meds. We got liquid meds. We also have all the ingredients for a hot toddy, if you want to mix your poisons a little.” Jordan begins to unpack everything onto your counter. 

“I don’t want to take anything.” You say morosely, and a little mean, kind of wanting to hate them but just feeling sad. Jordan’s your best friend before anything else, and you could never hate your first real friend. 

“Come on, just a little something. You sound fucked up.” Jordan practically coos, touching your forehead. “Feels like your fever’s gone down a little. Sit up for me.” He says, and pulls you to sit up when you don’t do it on your own.  

“I don’t want to fucking-” Jordan puts two pills in your mouth as soon as you open it to bitch at him. He hands you water to help you swallow it down. 

“Thanks for that. That was really fun for me.” You snap once you’re done.

“It’s for pain and should bring down the rest of your fever.” Jordan lays you back down, tucking the covers all the way up to your chin. You marvel at the way he doesn’t rise to the bait of your very clear attitude. Jordan, catching the look on your face offers you a small glare. “I’m worried. You usually don’t get sick. I’ll check that attitude when you’re better. Now, do you want the damn hot toddy or not?” He rubs your head soothingly.

“Yes, please.” You try not to pout as you watch Jordan make the drink for you. You really hate how hard it is to hate them. “Sorry, Jordie.” 

“Oh, you can go ahead and save that apology for when I make you cry into your pillow, yeah?” Jordan doesn’t even look up from measuring the ingredients.

You pull the covers over your head and leave them there until Jordan pulls them back down. 

You almost hadn’t come to the party. 

You weren’t in a partying mood, as of late. You were in more of a Shakespearean pining era than a City Girls one. But the group had bullied you in the group chat for a week straight until you’d promised to come. The group bullying hadn’t worked so much as Jordan asking you one single time to go had.

So here you were. 

You’d been nursing one drink for the better part of an hour and hadn’t done a single line of cocaine. Jordan had offered you some, but the line had already been placed on the back of his hand. You politely declined, much to his confusion. You only ever did hard drugs with Jordan, and only at big rager parties like this one. 

At the moment you’re nearly sober. Because you didn’t so much as want to touch Jordan right now. Let alone do something like snort a line off of him. Then you’d have to do something like lick the residue off his skin. Which would lead to kissing him. Which would lead to making out with him. Which would lead to fucking him. 

And you think, for the sake of your sanity, you need to be done fucking Jordan Li. 

It’s been about three weeks since you were “sick” and you’d dodged every attempt at getting physical that Jordan tried to initiate since. At first you were able to pass it off as still feeling icky. That excuse worked for a week. Now, you didn’t hang out alone with them and pretended not to see Jordan’s ‘you up?’ texts until morning. 

Your friendship just needs a hard reset. This time spent not having sex will do it. 

Besides, it’s not like Jordan isn’t swimming in fucking choices. What does it matter if you’re one less body off the menu? There are plenty of hot girls at this school. Jordan’s probably already fucked half of them.

You throw back the rest of the drink you’ve been nursing all at once.

“Are you okay?” Cate puts a hand on your arm and you offer her a blinding, completely fake smile. 

“Yeah!” You say, as chipper as possible.

“Jesus christ.” Cate replies, face going all sad and concerned. “What did Jordan do?” 

“Huh?” You blink, confused.

“You are the most pissed off I’ve ever seen you. What did Jordan do? You’ve been avoiding them for like two weeks. What gives?” Cate pulls you closer by the arm so that she doesn’t have to shout over the music. 

“Nothing!” 

“Can you try to lie again but do it better, this time?” Cate frowns.

“Jesus Christ, does everything have to be about Jordan? Must my whole entire goddamn life revolve around Jordan Li?” You snap, the way someone who isn’t mad about anything does.  

“Okay.” Cate says slowly. Like she’s trying to placate a wild animal. 

The tone alone makes you roll your eyes and move to disappear back in the crowd of drunk twenty-somethings. But she firms her grip on you, the leather of her glove digging into your skin. 

“Y/N-”

“I’m fine, Cate. I just have to get over it.” 

“Get over what?” Cate narrows her eyes at you. That shrewd look she sometimes wears when she knows something before someone else falls onto her face. 

You wonder if you’re completely transparent about your pining or if Cate missed a dose of her medication. Is she starting to hear the buzzing of your frantic, angry, miserable thoughts? Or is she just naturally perceptive? 

“So, this is where the real party is hiding!” An arm is thrown around your shoulders suddenly and you are careful not to sigh, because Jordan may not be as perceptive as Cate, but they’re pretty damn close. Especially when it comes to you. 

You’ve never moved away from them holding you close like this before, so you can’t do it now. You try to just be still. Don’t lean into his warmth, but don’t cringe away either. You probably used to melt against him, when he touched you. Pathetically. Desperately. A sunflower following rays of light across the sky. 

“-Princess?” Jordan gives you a gentle shake and your head snaps to the side to look at him. “You okay?”

“Yup!” Apparently, you didn’t say that convincingly because he starts to scowl at you. Surprisingly enough, the thought of withstanding a Jordan interrogation does not make you want to be at this party for much longer. “I’m gonna head out, though.” 

“What?!” Twin exclamations of confusion form Jordan and Cate both.

“Not feeling it. I think I need to get some more sleep. I got a headache, or… something.” You shrug.

“Or something?” Jordan echoes.

“You are not going anywhere, yet, dear friend.” Andre throws his own arm around you, appearing from thin air, and tugging you away from Jordan. You’ve never been more grateful to him. 

“How do you figure that?” You laugh.

“We’re about to play truth or dare in the other room and you dodged playing last time. You can leave after you’ve played. You can’t get known as the truth or dare dodger.” Andre says. 

“You say that as if being a party game dodger is like being known for dodging the Vietnam draft.” You snort.

“No, it’s worse. People that dodged the Vietnam drafts are heroes. Truth or dare dodgers are cowards. Come on.” Andre begins to drag you towards the other room and you go along with minimal dragging of your feet across the floor. 

The room is crowded, but all the faces are familiar. They’re all within the top twenty, or the groupies that hang around everyone in the top twenty. You pull Andre across the room to a spot on a raggedy couch you have to squeeze the both of you into. No room for Jordan, who you want to avoid. Or Cate, who is too fucking perceptive. 

You wish you’d grabbed another drink for yourself. Jordan winds up across the room from you, in an optimal position for trying to catch your eye and give you a concerned look every ten seconds. 

This does not make Truth or Dare more fun to watch. 

Vulgar dare from one classmate to another. Forcing someone else to admit an uncomfortable truth. One humiliation after the other. Pick your poison on whether you want to debase yourself through the damnation of your own words or a physical act. All challenges of self-mortification being doled out by people who secretly don’t like each other very much, but all call each other friends anyways. 

“Earth to Y/N the space cadet.” The girl sitting next to you gives you a playful shove. You try not to glare at her. Her name escapes you. You think she hangs around with number 6. Or something. 

“What?”

“Cate picked you. Truth or dare.” She says the words ominously, causing teasing jeering to rise from the entire group. 

“Well, Y/N, what’s it gonna be?” Cate raises her eyebrow at you challengingly. 

“She doesn’t have to play if she doesn’t want to, guys.” Jordan rolls his eyes.

“Dare.” You say, wanting to get this over with. 

The room erupts into excited noise. You don’t know why. Cate, of all people, would never force you to do anything humiliating. Or truly scandalous. It’s why you trust her enough to say dare, instead of truth. But you never pick dare, because anyone else would abuse the power. Everyone looks too eager to see Number 3 do something embarrassing. 

As if Cate isn’t your closest friend beside Jordan. As if she’d abuse the trust you place in her. It makes you sick. You don’t wanna be here. At this party, or at this stupid fucking school.

“I dare you…. to kiss the prettiest girl in the room.” 

“What?!” Jordan turns to give Cate the nastiest, most disgusted glare you’ve ever seen.

“She doesn’t have to do it if she doesn’t want to. You know I’m all about consent.” Cate shrugs innocently, crossing her legs together and giving you a smirk. 

You sit for a second, contemplating your next move. There are plenty of pretty girls at this party. In this room. If nothing else, the top twenty and their groupies are photogenic (hell, some of them are only in the top twenty because of their looks to begin with. You hope you’re not one of those.) But there’s only one girl you want to kiss at this party. 

There’s only one person in the world you want to kiss at all. 

You take a shaky breath, feeling like the walls are closing in. Andre nudges you subtly, catches your eye, as if to say: ‘you okay?’ but there’s something else in the look too. Something that says it’s not just Cate, who knows. Probably your whole friend group knows how you feel. Probably the whole school. Probably anyone but Jordan sees it. And Jordan probably does see it, because they’re too fucking smart not to, and they’re choosing to ignore it. Because it’s easier that way. Because your feelings are probably too inconvenient. Because you’re not their type. Because you’re clingy, and stupid, and not good enough- 

You stand up. The room is a wall of noise, and smell and sound pressing in on you. You see Cate smirk. You see Jordan looking away. You see every girl in the room sit up straight. Delusional, if they think any of them could ever be anything, compared to Jordan. 

You walk past every other girl in the room, and stand in front of Jordan, who still isn’t looking.

You kick his ankle with the toe of your heel, to get him to look at you. His head snaps around, the curls of his hair sticking to his forehead, and he looks comically confused. And it’s really too fucking much, for someone as smart as Jordan to look so confused. So fucking baffled, about what’s happening here. But it’s a pretty convincing act. That only makes you more angry. 

You make an impatient motion with your hand. A ‘do it already’ movement of your wrist. The same way you’d crossly signal for another driver to go first at a fucking four way stop. 

He just blinks up at you, owlish. 

"Well? Are you gonna let me kiss the prettiest girl at this fucking school or what, Li?" The room has gone a little quiet, or maybe the blood is rushing in your ears so bad everything is quiet in comparison. 

Jordan stares up at you for a moment longer than is comfortable. And you really start to feel the eyes of everyone in the room on you. You don’t let yourself shy away from the attention. Not Jordan’s, not anyone else’s. You straighten your spine and look down your nose at him, and tap your foot. Try to look like the mean girl everyone expects you to be because no one cares who you actually are. 

As if you could care less if Jordan leaves you stranded right now. As if it will be their loss, if they don’t kiss you, instead of the worst moment of your entire life. 

Jordan shifts. 

You try not to think of how desperate you must look, when you reach out at a speed that isn’t human to hold her face and angle it up, so you can finally fucking kiss the girl you love. 

You wish you could kiss her like it didn’t mean anything. Like she’s nothing. Like you hate her. But you don’t know if this is the only time you’ll ever get to kiss Jordan when she’s your girl, and not your boy. This might be the last time you kiss Jordan ever. 

It has to be. 

You close your eyes tight. Try to ignore the way they’re stinging. You kiss Jordan slow and tender. The way you’ve always wanted to. You tangle a hand in her hair, to bring her closer. You try not to marvel at the way the longer strands tangle in your fingertips. She gasps against you, and her hands find your waist and you are too sober to cry over Jordan touching your waist above your clothes. Like a fucking middle-schooler. 

But the tears start falling anyways. You let out a quiet sob against her lips that you try your hardest to stifle, and Jordan may not have kissed you like this before. But she’s kissed you plenty. She pulls back, startled, like an animal. Big brown eyes full of concern. 

And the spell is broken, and you are standing in front of about thirty of the world’s worst, most unsympathetic human beings, crying, because you kissed your best friend who doesn’t want you back. 

You’ve got ten seconds to leave before someone pulls out their phone and records you. If they haven’t already started. 

So you run.

Through your tears the layout of the house becomes unfamiliar. You try to hide your face a little, and hope people don’t recognize you as you pass them by, sobbing openly. 

Years of pent up feelings are bubbling out of you. The relief. The grief. The way you hate yourself for falling in love with the only person who has ever loved you. Wondering why you couldn’t just be grateful for the kindest, most understanding friendship you never even thought yourself worthy of. Why couldn’t that have been enough? 

Why did you fall in love with them? 

A hand closes around your wrist and you try to yank yourself away but you’re pulled into a bathroom and the door slams shut behind you. 

You wipe your eyes so you can see who’s tried to save you from embarrassing yourself any further. 

It’s Jordan. Because of course it is.

You burst into tears again. 

“Are you fucking drunk? What the fuck was that? Y/N what the fuck is happening right now?” Jordan sounds on the verge of a mental break. 

She’s probably wondering what type of things people are gonna start saying about the two of you on social media. She’s probably mad at you for giving her a PR mess to clean up. 

“I’m not drunk!” You protest, sounding a little like someone who might be drunk. 

“Are you high? What did you take? Lemme see your pupils.” Jordan reaches out to grab your face and you swat her hand away. 

“No one fucking drugged me, Jordan. I’m just a stupid fucking idiot who’s in love with you! There! Are you happy?! Why don’t you go laugh at me with one of your stupid fucking girlfriends. You’ve got so fucking many of them.” You wail, sinking down to the floor, and hiding your face in your arms. 

The room goes quiet, besides the sound of you crying. Loudly. You think you might be having an anxiety attack. You can’t breathe right. But maybe that’s just from the heaving, toddler-like sobs. 

“You’re in love with me?” Jordan asks, quietly. 

“As if you don’t know!” You snap your head up to glare at her. She kneels down in front of you, and puts her hand on your knee and you try not to get distracted by how pretty she is. “I follow you around like a puppy dog. Like your little shadow. And everyone notices except for you, because you don’t want to notice, because you don’t fucking want me. I got the message, Jordan. I got it!” 

“What message?!” Jordan grabs you by the shoulders, voice fraying at the edges, and looks like she wants to shake you.

“You don’t touch me!” Your voice raises to the edge of a yell, and the sound of it echoes in the small room. 

“What are you fucking talking about-”

“-don’t be cute, Jordan. You don’t touch me when you’re a girl! I thought… I thought it was maybe just that you didn’t touch girls when you’re a girl but it isn’t. Apparently you have plenty of fucking girls that you touch and fuck, when you’re a girl. It’s just me, that you don’t! What’s so fucking bad about me? Huh? What’s wrong with me? Why don’t you want me?” You demand.

You think you might sound like an insane person, and you wish you could pull the words back in but the hurt is bubbling out. A river relishing that first burst of freedom when a dam breaks, no matter how much damage it causes. 

Jordan is staring at you like you’ve grown two heads. Mouth agape. You wish you were dead, a little.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Jordie.” Your voice goes small, and you sniffle. “I really tried to stop. But I can’t, I love you. I’ve probably loved you from that very first day. Because you’re wonderful, you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met and I don’t know how anyone…” You trail off, fanning at your eyes to try and pull yourself together. “...I don’t know how everyone else knows you without being in love with you. I wish I wasn’t in love with you, please don’t be mad, please don’t fucking-” You sob, again. 

You find yourself pulled into Jordan’s lap this time. It’s a foreign feeling, to be touching so much of Jordan when she’s like this. You bury your face into her neck and cry, and let her black hair block out the fluorescent lighting. She shushes you, cheek pressing against the side of your head, and that’s familiar. The way she soothes you. Your hands wrinkle the fabric of her jacket, clinging to her tightly. 

“I’m sorry. I can get over it, I promise. I just needed to tell you. I’ve never kept anything from you before. It was killing me, but I can get over it, Jordie, I promise-” 

“Hey, hey, hey, no-” Jordan’s turning you to look at her suddenly. “Don’t fucking… I’m not… I’m not mad at you or fucking… gonna leave you, Y/N. What the fuck? I love you.”

You could start crying from the relief of hearing those words come from her lips again. You thought she wouldn’t ever speak to you again. She grabs you by the chin and kisses you, hard, your teeth clink together and your noses mush and you go completely still and frozen, like a scared deer. 

“I could see the words not fucking register in your brain the way I meant them. I am in love with you. Romantically.” Jordan barely pulls away, you feel her lips brush against yours, every other word. 

“What?” 

Jordan laughs, “Good, now you’re just as confused as I fucking was. Why the fuck wouldn’t I want you? I’ve always wanted you. You’re…you.” 

“I’m me?” You echo. 

“I didn’t…. I didn’t want to make you feel… like everyone else has. Like I was just fucking waiting around for a chance to date you. Or fuck you. As if your friendship doesn’t fucking matter. Or was a consolation prize, if I couldn’t get you to date me. It isn’t a consolation prize. It’s the most important thing to me in the fucking world.” Jordan laughs, and the sound is suspiciously choked up. 

“Oh.” You say, and are crying. Again. Jordan laughs and wipes the tears away with her thumb. 

“But what about when we started having sex? You still… never touched me when you’re like this.” 

“You’ve never said anything about liking girls.” Jordan says quietly.

“You’re not just a girl. You’re the girl. And guy. ” You say, holding her hand against your face and kissing her palm fiercely. She laughs again, and puts her forehead against yours. 

“So what? I’m the one girl you’re into?” Jordan raises a brow and doesn’t look very happy saying the words, oddly enough. 

You tilt your head trying to puzzle out why, slowly, you arrive at a conclusion. “I literally talk about girls all the time.” 

“When?!” 

“I’m constantly pointing out pretty ones!” You snap. 

“I thought you were just being sweet!” Jordan snaps back. 

You close your eyes and breathe in the smell of her cologne. 

“You make me so angry I don’t know how to think.” You say, and kiss her bottom lip softly. “You’re not an… experiment, if that’s what you’re asking. You’re the…” You trail off, realizing this is not one of your romantic daydreams where you’ve thought of the words you’d tell Jordan over and over again. 

In real life you can’t tell people that they’re the love of your life if you aren’t their girlfriend. Unless you want to look crazy.

Jordan, who is your best friend, before she’s anything else, melts. Because she knows you well enough to know what you aren’t saying.

“Yeah.” Jordan nods, sniffling once and trying to look very tough even though her lip is quivering a little. “I… I love you too. Or whatever.” 

“If it makes you feel better I’ve slept with other women before, to make sure I wasn’t just in love with you.” 

“Weird fucking thing to tell me after I say I love you, but go off.” She glares at you. 

“I think you could do with feeling a little jealous. Why am I hearing stories about how good you are at fucking other women while I’m trying to piss at Vought Burger in peace?” 

“What?” Jordan’s brow furrows. 

“Three weeks ago I heard-”

“-I fucking knew you’ve been mad at me!” Jordan grabs your waist, pulling you closer.

“You would have been pissed too, if you heard the shit I was hearing!” 

“If I hear anyone talking about fucking you ever again I’m going to go to prison.”

“Hot.” 

“Shut up and be my girlfriend.”

“Shut up and be my everything.” 

“You’re gross.” But she kisses you, and it’s gentle, and no one else is there to see it. 

And it’s perfect.

A/N: this is my first time doing full on smut for a fic! it beat me the fuck up. if you enjoyed this fic consider reblogging, leaving a reply, or an anon! a writers fuel is engagement. and this fic took too damn long to write. xoxoxo

[jackfrombaskinrobbins]

✰ breakfast with the avengers, as a teenage avenger!! (headcanons)

type of writing: headcanons / scenario

wordcount: 979

characters: a lot LMAO a few main ones are clint barton, scott lang, miles morales, harley keener, the reader, steve rogers, and tony stark.

a/n: just to make it clear, for the “teenage avenger” series, i have a core group of “teenage avengers”. this includes the reader, peter parker, harley keener, and miles morales :) also requests are open! lmk if you want a scenario or headcanons! can include the reader or not!!

-----------------------✰--------------------

the avengers might be the busiest people in the world.

however, they always make time at least once a month to have breakfast together at the compound.

it was steve’s idea (of course!!) but when he mentioned it for the first time, everyone quickly got on board.

pietro was so excited that he sped over to the cupboards, talking incoherently about chocolate chip pancakes.

however, he soon came back (in less than a second, ofc) with a sad face.

turns out, you all had an issue on your hands. 

there was no pancake mix, no bacon, no eggs, no fruit, no nothing!

ok, he was being dramatic. there was some food, but certainly not enough to feed ALL the avengers.

tony volunteered the “kids” ( you, harley, peter, and miles ) to go to the store.

clint decided he wanted to go too, and then scott decided to join at the last minute.

so the six of you piled into the car.

scott drove (regrettably -- the man has some issues with attention), you got shotgun, and peter, harley, miles and clint were all in the back.

now, you may be wondering why clint was in the back and not the front, because he seems to be a responsible adult in this situation.

well, first of all, have you met clint barton? do you even know what he’s like? 

second of all, the avengers have a very strict “you call it, you get it” policy when it comes to the car.

this happened when thor “accidentally” stepped on scott’s foot so that he could get in the front seat.

anyways scott definitely plays cheery 70s music in the car.

he turns it up super loud and sings along (very off key)

every single time that man stops at a stoplight he turns around with an eager look on his face. harley is usually on his phone, but peter and miles try to give him a smile.

clint’s just flipping him off :) 

so once y'all get to the store, it's time to get serious.

well, in harley, peter, miles, and your eyes.

for clint and scott? debatable.

as you're all getting the cart, somehow clint and scott slip away.

and then you hear it.

" y/n !!! y/n !!! "

you turn at the mention of your name to see clint barton, that silly little guy, holding six lightsabers in his hands.

how he got six of them in like less than a minute is a great question.

and yet, it's the coolest thing you've seen all week.

immediately, the whole trip is overtaken by all of you chatting about how to use the lightsabers.

some ideas include; scaring tony by calling him into a dark room where you all turn them on at the same time, scaring steve by calling him into a dark room where you all turn them on at the same time, scaring sam by calling him into a dark room where you all turn them on at the same time...

ok maybe they were kind of unoriginal.

you decided that you would consult sam + bucky (the prank masters ofc) later to get some advice.

anyways you bought so much stuff.

like there were literally three carts of food.

on the way home, clint had to ride in the trunk LMAO

btw the compound is so cool and high tech that once you pull the car into the garage and open the trunk, there’s this little robot that sorts everything out and then puts it in tubes that take it to the pantries and fridges. 

it’s very convenient because it would’ve taken you all like fifteen trips, even with super strength or whatever 

so now you’re finally back up in the kitchen

and pietro keeps telling you all how hungry he is

wanda tells him to stop and literally makes a forcefield with her magic so he can't interrupt y'all LMAO

now you're actually good at cooking.

im gonna go ahead and say you, sam, and wanda are the best cooks in the compound.

happy is actually good too, he just never wants to HAHA

but you made a deal with him that you wouldn't bother him for three days if he helped you so he's in the kitchen now.

he even wore this super cheesy "kiss the cook" apron that tony got him for christmas once

AND a chef hat.

anyways so y'all have to make a LOT of food.

i mean the avengers are the avengers, they get really hungry.

so originally miles & peter & harley wanted to help you, but then peter somehow cut his finger plugging in the waffle iron? so you just put him in charge of music.

and then harley kept accidentally knocking the pancake mix everywhere.

so then sam made him stand by him and watch him cook.

miles was good though, he has skills.

you had to make pancakes AND waffles, because nobody could come up with what was best.

once when you were on winter break, you tried to have a final competition on whether pancakes or waffles were better.

just as pancakes were in the lead, dr strange came in and said waffles were the best.

so now you always have to make both.

you enlisted steve to help bring everything to the table.

he's really good at balancing like six or seven plates at a time.

scott was ready to help too, but you just made him set the table instead because otherwise he was gonna get hurt.

once everything was done and on the table, you all sat down.

but then just as you were ready, the lights went out.

and that kind of freaked you out, because i mean, yeah.

AND THEN YOU SAW A SINGLE LIGHTSABER TURN ON.

so you turned the lights back on and yelled at clint for scaring you.

and then you all ate together :)

-----------------------✰--------------------

[boomstyle]

Sonic Boom: Friend or Foe

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters and settings of Sonic boom. Oh, watch out for OCs!

Roboken War

(Force field cage)

Well, that was just as quick as it's. Now, where are we?

Tails and I reach the cage in just a zip. I thought Lyric will just put mind control device or at least send them far away from our reach. Well, I guess Lyric may not be as smart and cunning as I thought after all.

Speaking of cunning and smart, I can't stand a breathe anymore. I wish we can get out of here. Wait! We can't. Lyric closed the entrance of the central power station with a force field. I guess he's smart and cunning after all. Ugh...

While I was desperate to get out of the room, Tails was busy tinkering on the force field cage. Hurry up Tails, the gas is getting stronger. Now, I feel nauseous.

"Tails, would you mind speed it up a little?", I asked Tails politely.

"Sorry, Sonic. This may take a while. I can't find the key just yet. It must be somewhere up here.", Tails explain the technical thing but I am not sure what. What I really know is that I am gonna vomit for real.

(45 minutes later)

Ugh... What's taking Tails so long?

"Aha... I found it. The key to the force field was at the upper edge. Just gonna rotate it to the right and here it goes.", Tails was busy tinkering.

"Once I open the secret key, it will be easier to disable the force field."

"Yeah, Tails. Just pretend I don't hear it!", I replied in a cool manner. Not exactly a cool manner though, I was being slightly rude. If Amy heard me saying this, she might just taichi me or whip me or worse hit me with her so-called "legendary hammer". What's so legendary about her hammer? It's just a regular oversized hammer.  Sometimes, I don't understand why she's super obsessive about her hammer. If she loses her hammer, she could have just fought in hand to hand or use her enerbeam whip or sword. I mean, she's athletic and has amazing martial art skills to top it off so she didn't really have to bother the whole team to search for her hammer or be like "My hammer is my whole identity. It's a gift from fate.". Tsk...whatever.

Yep, Archie Sonic Boom Issue 3 (HammerSpace). You got it. No need to beat the bush like that, Amy. I feel really bad for Sonic.

I was drowning in confusion until Tails snapped me out. He didn't exactly snap me out, more like bringing me to reality.

"Done it! I've taken out the force field from here.", Tails said in excitement. Team Cyborg is released from the cage. Now, time to open the forcefield!

"Oh, finally! Now, how do we open the forcefield barrier, Cyborg me?", I asked in desperation and relief at the same time.

"Right here!", Cyborg Sonic replied. What? The forcefield entrance key was literally close to us but I see nothing.

"Where? It's just a freaking wall?", I scolded him out of impatience. Ugh, I can't take it anymore. The gas...(cough)...

"Just do as I said!", Cyborg Sonic instructed.

"Fine! Just gonna touch this...(surprised) wall (slowly)", I am stunned. I can't believe it. They're right. Just gonna press the bottom and it's done.

"Yay, we did it! Teamwork rocks! Now, let's move it!"

Just as I thought our business is done from the moment we escape from the central power station filled with gas and traps. I was hell wrong. I heard an invisible siren tone with a beaming red background while we ran away. Talking about disco light, this is worse.

*Lol* (Remember when Dave fool himself in "Next Top Villian", Sonic Boom Series Season 1.)

(Siren Alarm Beam Tone)

"Ugh... Come one! We just escape from it.", I complained.

"Sonic, our escape caused the siren to beam. So this is expected.", Tails calmed me down.

"But we just get out like a few hours ago.", I argued. Technically, it's been 45 minutes but it feels like hours already.

"Are you guys done with your blabber, Sonic?", Cyborg Amy shouted. Ooo... She's just as scary and temperamental as Amy.

"Fine! I'll shut it."

"Good. Let's keep moving! We didn't have all day."

Okay, okay, Amy! Is it necessary for you to be so demanding? Just chill out, Cyborg Amy! Regardless, she's right. There's no time to waste. If we don't get out, we might as well got caught by Lyric. Yep, we did.

"Where are you going right now?", Lyric asked.

"You think you can escape from me, Sonic. Think again!"

"Rise my armies! I command you to finish them once and for all!"

"We can call your robot quit in just a zip, Snake-head.", I deride Lyric confidently.

The infected robots shoot lasers at us as instructed. Tails and I started off dodging their attacks while Team Cybonic launched their special attacks. Well, more like duplicates of our attacks. Hehe...

Just as the battle started, my gangs came to my aid. Oh, just in time but where's Shawn? I mean, the East bender faker. Yeah, he must be planning this whole thing. I bet but regardless, I am glad that my team to the rescue. As I dodge a laser, I spot FriendBot along with Amy, Knuckles and Sticks arrive at the scene and prepare for combat.

"Anyone need some backup?", Amy asked.

Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks charge down and destroy some robots. Sonic dashes towards Amy.

"Amy. I'm glad you're here.", I started a conversation but Amy just shrugged me off. I wonder what's bugging her. Surely, Shawn must have manipulated her. Now, that she ignored me as if I didn't exist. This is just not like her.

"Oh, so you're just gonna ignore me, your boyfriend. Alright, sure. Go ahead."

Oops, did I just said b-word out loud? Not that I care or whatever but we're totally busted right now.

"Hmph... Like I even have one...", Amy shrugged me off.

Oh, is that it? You're just going to going to act negatively out of character toward me. That's it, I had it enough of your rudeness. This is just not you. He's literally turning you into a cold-headed girl. I know she can get temperamental, snarky, rude, or slightly selfish at some point but this is way too far.

"That's it, Ames. I had it enough. If you want to break up, just say so. (punch and kick robot nearby) No need to buzz over me like that.", I confronted her.

"You're saying I got too far. Well, that describes you, Mr. Hedgehog. The way you treated Shawn was totally unacceptable. And besides, you're not so good after all. You're snarky, reckless, messy worker, impatient and impulsive.", Amy talked back.

"Like you have the best personality, I'm sick of your bossy, demanding, and overbearing attitude behind your mature act.", I argued her back.

"I was doing it for your good. You could get a little bit too far with your prank games, jokes or worse run head log in trouble. So I have to step in AS THE MOTHER FIGURE OF THE GROUP(shouted and smash the robot)", Amy defended.

"Yeah, like I need one.", I grunted.

"That's the problem with you. You act as if you're the coolest top speedy hedgehog ever but you're not thoughtful. The way you badmouth and suspect Shawn when you yourself were the one who introduced it to the whole team explains it. You're saying you're responsible for him but what I got is empty promises.", Amy berated me while she was busy beating robots near her just like I did. Speaking of which, what she said reminds me when I introduced Egg man's so called brother without even consulting the whole team. She's kinda right at this. I should have been more considerate and premediated next time. The way I just invite Shawn and Steve Eggman in the group without much consideration indicate my impulsiveness. Looks like I really realized how impulsive and unthoughtful I have been but still, she's literally overreacting just like usual. Thus, why should I be blamed for it?

"Oh come on, why do I get blamed for it? You're literally falling your heels over him anyway so why should I have to get the portion of the blame?", I threw the blame on her. I admitted I am being impulsive and inconsiderate considering how I just invite Shawn in without any consultation.

"Responsibility, Sonic! You can't just introduce someone and suddenly come up with a conclusion that his guy is bad when YOU CAN'T EVEN PROVE IT!", Amy reasoned with me. In some way, she's right but she just didn't understand the issue here. Shawn is...

"Yeah, you're right. I don't have proof but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. You know why? HERO!", I am enraged and boastful, yes and I don't care.

"That's it! I can't take it anymore. You, sir, are impetuously boastful and arrogant being. Have you even take my feeling into account when you said that? it's like you don't consider me a girlfriend anymore. You know what, let's break up!", Amy leashed out on me.

"You wanna break up. FINE! Who wants to be with a Bloodthirsty and indicative hedgehog in a cute and friendly package?", I said.

"And who wants an egomaniac, reckless and immature guy in a speedy hero PACKAGE?", Amy retaliated. She's going super angry and yep, this is good and bad at the same time.

"HAYAK(smash)... (spin hammer attack other robots)... (pull the further robot near her with enerbeam rope) HAYAK (smash, smash, smash until every infected robot disintegrated)... (stand in her ninja-style pose)Ha... Time to take on, Lyric."

Just as we broke up, Amy turned into a temperamental monster. Then, she started to crash all of the infected robots in just a zip. Sticks, Knuckles and Tails as well as our cyborg duplicates are unimpressed. Wow, I was surprised they're not shocked at our break up and Amy's sudden temperamental combat.

"What a lovely couple indeed? I suspect that the alien overlord must have spelled them apart.", Sticks said.

"To be frank, this robot apocalypse has sent Amy mad too.", Cyborg Sticks said. Well, she's partially right. The robot apocalypse really sent Amy crazy after the break-up. Not the best answer you've got, Cybonic Sticks but you sure have Sticks' paranoid DNA with you. Am I okay? Why do I agree with Sticks' paranoid statement now? Oh no, if this happens again, I might need to consider seeing a psychiatrist.

"I don't know Sticks but surely, the secretive skinny couple has finally come to a devastating breakup. If Sonic and Amy were the one, I may be gigging out in shame.", Cyborg Knuckles replied sadly.  

"Yeah. Not cool, Sonic. First, you deny that you dated Amy and now, you just let Amy cut off the relationship.", Knuckles said while holding his clenched fist.

"Well, this gets little it out of hand. let's just help Amy fight off Lyric!", Cyborg Sonic said.

"Yeah", Team Cybonic and my gangs except Knuckles and Amy agreed.

While they're battling Lyric, we're in the middle of a pointless argument because of Knuckles. This is the first time we ever battle each other in the middle of a war.

"Knuckles, don't get me started!", I ordered. What the heck is wrong with Knuckles? Sure we kept the relationship in secret and just broke up but this is not an excuse for Knuckles to just burst up like that.

"Do you think I'm not smart, Sonic?", Knuckles asked.

"What? Not, it's not that... It's just", I tried to persuade him but Knuckles cut me off.

"It's just that I'm not smart enough to figure it out that you're dating.", Knuckles straightened his point. What? I don't mean to hide our relationship just to shame you. It's just that it's not a good time yet. If Eggman and other villains know about our relationship, the worst scenario is that the whole team and anyone related to us would be in a threatening situation. Seriously, Eggman may not be you know the victorious one but he's surely dangerous when unexpected. And besides, the group will be awkward if everyone knows we date.

"What's up, Sonic? Scared of me?"

"Knuckles. this is madness. You got to snap out, man. That snakehead was literally your battle.", I persuaded while trying to dodge his punches. I don't want to attack him. He's my friend.

"I've heard you said enough already"

We battle with each other until we heard Amy, Tails, and Sticks as well as our duplicates got smacked down in the middle of battle.

"Guys! Oh no!", Knuckles and I gulped.

"At last, I finally got to end you after a thousand years.", Lyric smirked while approaching us.

"I guess it's the end of Team Knuckles", Knuckles said. Team? Oh, forget it! I'm not going to argue. Besides he's right. It's the end of Team Son...ic.

"Lyric, I said I will find you", Shadow appeared. Uuu... Looks like the edgelord will end the robot apocalypse. He must have a reason as to defeat Lyric. He will not just be here to save us but anyway, it's our lucky day.

Shadow punch out Lyric and take out his technopathy. As the result, everything was back to normal except that all Roboken's army got dismantled, and yeah, things get messed up when Shawn approached in.

ugh... Finally, it's nearly the end of the book chapter. Sorry, I got too personal with the Sonamy relationship and rivalry between Knuckles and Sonic but I just can't help it. Anyway, How do you think Shadow and Shawn were able to come in? What will be the consequences afterward? Find out in the next chapter.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Genetics Prodigy

Also on AO3!

TL;DR:  

Quirks might be the coolest thing ever, but they aren't magic, they're genetic. So what's to stop one very stubborn quirkless prodigy from working out how to give himself some?

Ok so! Tech Genius!Izuku AUs are a thing, right? I love them to bits but my problem is I know nothing about tech so I can't write them, but what I do know is biology!

Biology/Genetics prodigy Izuku giving himself quirks!

Stays friends with Katsuki (They have a rough patch but they work through it), not sure if I want Izuku to fiddle with Katsuki's quirk or not - not sure if I'll make the quirk limit 1 or 2, but I've always headcanoned you can give more quirks to someone born quirkless, so Izuku will end up with a few

So, after the dawn of quirks, a lot of, if not all, genetic research stopped. Sure, tech marched onwards, but genetics became an even bigger taboo than it was before. Izuku is a little genius, and this his massive interest in quirks when he's told he’s quirkless? It's more of a “how do I change this” than a “can I change this”

Izuku has always been the smartest person Katsuki knows. They have a rough patch at the beginning where Katsuki is trying to claw this one thing he's better at Izuku than over his head, to make himself ‘better’ than izuku

People have always called the quirkless worthless. If he’s less than a quirkless kid, what does that make him? Izuku eventually manages to drag it out of him and tells him about all the things people did before the dawn of quirks. Katsuki changes his mind to instead believing that everyone else is stupid for thinking quirks are everything and is now very vocal about that. (He still loves his quirk though, as does Izuku.)

His first real trial is a bit of a silly one: he cures Katsuki’s lactose intolerance. They were both salty they couldn’t share their icecream.

Collection of quirks:

Bakugo:

Explosion

Fire Manipulation

Midoriya:

Telekinesis

Heal

Forcefield

Jump

I want Izuku to give himself a quirk aged like, 8, with bakugo there for the ride as a lab hand, and I want them to realise with mounting horror what they've managed to do

bakugo turning to izuku and whispering "how many quirks would it take to beat - be as strong as - all might?" and izuku just shrugs because he hadn't thought about that but what he's done could start a new breed of bioweapons

he knows enough about the brain to see that more than 2 quirks in a quirked persons body, or more than 4 in someone born quirkless would be seriously damaging, but he's really scared about what could happen if he did go over that limit.

he won't, but he's curious, and he feels a little sick because of it

Nezu catches wind of this baby bio genius, one of the red flags is the only recent research done into quirks was actually from the lab nezu was kept in, so when he sees someone digging into that research he's ready to rain hell down upon them

then he sees an 8-year old that gave himself a quirk and he's like "oh. son."

oh he also totally has a little collection of lab rats that he spoils to bits - he's careful not to give them any quirks that would hurt them / cause an ethical issue. mostly they just have colour changing and glowing quirks, one of them can photosynthesize

he's a very good boy and his little rat children love him

So, when one is as hopelessly heroic as Izuku, it tends to be hard to avoid ‘accidentally’ using your quirk in public. When you have a heal quirk? It’s basically impossible.

Healing quirks actually have a special provision under the vigilantism act, along with exemptions due to age, but when Izuku gets caught, the police don’t tell him that. They honestly just want to try and scare the kid straight because it was a ‘miracle’ (forcefield) that he didn’t get hit by the falling rubble.

So Naomasa is brought in, as usual for the Mustutafu area, and asks the basic questions: name, age, quirk. Izuku, being a genius but still like 8 and scared he's going to jail lies for the first two questions, and he doesn’t lie very well because the poor kid is chronically honest.

‘Um, my name is – Tsubasa! Yeah!.” “I’m 10!”

But the last question throws Naomasa for a loop. “What’s your quirk?” “I was born quirkless, I’ve got the x-ray to prove it.”

That wasn’t a lie. But he visibly used a quirk, they saw it happen. And Naomasa suddenly gets a terrible feeling, because there is only one person he knows that can take someone from quirkless to quirked.

“So you don’t have any quirk?” “No sir.” A lie. Fuck. He lets Izuku go because, despite the horror of a child caught in AFO’s clutches, he might be the most valuable lead they’ve ever had. So they keep an eye on him.

It doesn’t take long to see him using more than one quirk. The kid is creative and isn’t bad at disguising them as the same quirk, but using a forcefield to shield you and your friend from rain is visibly different from telekinetically doing the same, if you know what you’re looking for. And boy do Naomasa and All Might know what they’re looking for.

Their second heart attack comes from an absent “So have you been practising with flame manipulation?” “Of course, dipshit, I’m not lazy. We’ve gotta practise to become heroes, don’t we?” “I know, Kacchan! I’m just excited!”

They keep freaking out about it until they bring in Nezu. It takes him a week or so, but he quickly finds out whats going on. “So, I’m not sure if this is what you wanted to hear but: It’s not All for One,” general sighs of relief “But the child has worked out how to synthesize quirks.” PANICKED NOISES

I feel like izuku is def. the first to make a quirk suppressant chemical, which really interests overhaul. Unfortunately, so i assume he can counter than with something that could just speed up the metabolism to flush another chemical out and because aizawa's quirk binds to the quirk factor, he could just give himself a quirk that has a different biological mechanism - confusing the fuck out of everyone involved

Timeline of Izuku’s shenanigans

Katsuki: lactose intolerance cured, proof of concept – age 6

A very nice rat: Attraction of small objects, yes the rat used it and yes it was amazing because other rats counted as small objects – age 7

Izuku: Attraction of small objects – age 8 (Inko’s quirk)

Katsuki: Flame control, a portion of Hisashi’s quirk from Izuku’s genes – age 8

Izuku: Jump, from a detailed study about a quirked rabbit – age 8 (late)

Another very nice rat: given the ability to live to 10 years old. His name is Hermes – age 9

Izuku: Starts a medical degree – age 10

Izuku: Forcefield, partly from a study of a weak forcefield quirk from the beginning of quirks when genetic studies were less taboo, combined with some promoter sequences from Katsuki’s quirk – age 10

Izuku: Heal, something he’d been working on since the beginning, created without reference for a similar quirk, his masterpiece – age 13 (This quirk is not tied to the quirk factor and therefore can not be stopped by erasure or the quirk erasing bullets.)

Izuku: Finishes the medical degree – age 14

Katsuki tries to get him to write Dr. Midoriya on his application to UA but he refuses, sadly. Not that it matters, Nezu recognises the last name from some of the only quirk research since the lab he was kept in was shut down. He’s very interested about one of the boy’s earliest papers; a case study about a quirkless boy born to 2 4th generation quirked parents, and the conclusion he drew: it wasn’t possible. It doesn’t take a genius to work out the quirkless kid was Izuku himself.

Izuku and Katsuki walk to UA together, Uraraka still saves him from tripping, Katsuki was just laughing at his suffering. Izuku’s a little less awkward in this AU and actually manages to thank her. They all enter the hall together.

Izuku never exactly kicked him mumbling habit, Iida still tells him off. Katsuki is trying to fight the urge to fly down there and kick his ass. Not that they can see, but Uraraka is also glaring at Iida for being rude to the nice boy.

Iida tries to stop Izuku from saying hi to Uraraka but she blows straight past him, loudly thanking Izuku for stopping to say hi. She’s glaring at Iida, Izuku is blissfully ignorant of that. Iida feels like he's offended the wrong person.

The exam starts, Izuku jumps straight into the middle of the exam. His legs hurt but he's totally clear of the other test takers. He starts kicking butt. He yanks wires from ports, tears screws from joints, punches robots with forcefield protected fists, etc. He gets maybe 30 points like this.

All around him he can see people in danger, he throws up countless forcefields to protect his fellow test takers. The judges are impressed with the versatility of the quirk, All Might, even though he knows Izuku isn’t connected to AFO, is having a slight breakdown. Nezu is incredibly impressed. Izuku is flagging though, his forcefield quirk takes some serious energy when he doesn’t have much to spare.

The zero pointer is released. Uraraka is pinned, and, unlike canon, she isn’t unscathed. Her ankle is snapped under the rubble, her ribs are badly bruised. Izuku sees this happen and he just moves. He doesn’t trust his forcefield to hold enough weight, so he goes the other direction: brute force. Using his jump quirk, he rockets into the air, landing a solid, quirk enhanced kick to the face of the robot. As it teeters, he uses attraction of small objects on as many individual points as he can, flying over the back of the robots head. He lands with an impact that jars his teeth, just as the robot starts to tip backwards. He makes it to safety with seconds to spare.

He’s exhausted, so far into quirk exhaustion it isn’t funny, but he’s not done yet. He stumbles to Uraraka helps her lift the bolder off her broken ankle, and heals it. He collapses just as the test finishes, Uraraka catching him and keeping him safe from the last few bits of falling rubble. She’s so thrown by her healed ankle.

Recovery girl comes over, checking on Uraraka. She saw the injury on the cameras and felt bad for the poor girl, but when she gets over there’s nothing. Sure, there’s some blood, but under it all there isn’t even a single cut. Uraraka begs her to help the boy in her arms and she thinks she might know why. The boy looks half dead, likely quirk exhaustion. Still, she didn’t know anyone with a healing quirk was applying, normally Nezu would have told her.

[invisoviolet]

|| Get to know VIOLET PARR who’s TWENTY-FOUR years old and works as a COMIC BOOK STORE EMPLOYEE in town. She is from CORONA and is often times mistaken for MARGARET QUALLEY while others say she reminds them of VIOLET from THE INCREDIBLES. ||

HISTORY & HEADCANONS

Violet grew up always knowing she had the power to be invisible, because it’s something her parents discovered when she was only four months old. Getting up one morning to check on their daughter, the Parrs panicked when the looked in the crib and the little girl was no longer there. Chaos reigned through the house as they tore it apart, trying to figure out where their little girl who couldn’t even crawl yet could have possibly gone. Just when the were about to call the police, sure someone had snuck into the house in the middle of the night to kidnap her, when she popped back up right in front of their eyes. If they didn’t have powers of their own they likely never would have believed it, but they simply learned that their daughter was special, just like them.

It was made very clear to her from a young age that she was never to use her powers, and while Violet was always a very well behaved child, sometimes she still liked to have some fun with it, especially when she was young. She tried using it to sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to get a midnight snack out of the fridge, or to eavesdrop on her parents when they were having an important conversation she wasn’t supposed to hear. It almost made her the ultimate hide and seek player, a title that was very important to her as a young girl.

She didn’t discover she had the power to make forcefields until much later, when she was eleven years old. She was fighting with Dash over the tv remote, and every time she would get it back to turn her show on, he would speed up to her and take the remote out of her hands before she even noticed. They’d been doing this for about twenty minutes, driving their parents absolutely crazy, when the next time Dash ran up to steal the remote, a purple glow erupted around her, forcing him to bounce back. It scared the hell out of both of them, and while Violet had absolutely no idea how she did it, she realized that her powers were more than just invisibility. She still doesn’t have a perfect handle on her forcefields and stays up late at night sometimes, concentrating hard as she tries to make them bigger and stronger. They’re getting better but Violet still isn’t satisfied, knowing she can do more.

A lot of Violet’s insecurities stem from how amazing her parents are, and her deep fear that she’ll never be able to live up to them. People literally call her father Mr. Incredible, and her mom is the coolest — not to mention the most beautiful — person she’s ever met in her life. Everyone loves them, and it keeps her up at night sometimes wondering how she can ever do anything to be as great as them. All they’ve ever done is love and support their daughter, but she’s always felt small and insignificant in their shadow. She even has a power that encourages her to hide away from the world, and she just doesn’t know how she’s supposed to argue with that.

Growing up, Violet was never picked on or bullied by the popular kids, because she did everything in her power not to give them a reason to. She wore what was in style, listened to whatever music was in the top 40, and watched the same tv shows as everyone else. She never spoke up in class, even when she new the answer, and  never even told joke or said anything that might draw attention towards herself. She became a professional at blending in with the crowd, so much so that she kind of lost her own personality in the process. There’s a part of Violet that’s still trying to learn who she is, because she spent so long trying hard to be just like everybody else.

When she was in high school, Violet had a bad habit of using her invisibility to get out of conversations with people she didn’t want to talk to. If she saw someone coming towards her, whether it was a fellow classmate or a teacher, she would usually slip around the closest corner and go invisible. Sometimes if she was stuck in a conversation she couldn’t get out of, she would even take her chances and turn invisible if they turned away for a second. It worked perfectly for her up until the moment she used her invisibility to get out of a conversation with the gym teacher. After pretending to have cramps for the fourth day in a row because she did not want to play volleyball in front of the popular girls, she tried to avoid his confrontation  Not believing it could have been magic, the teacher convinced himself that she got away because she was such a fast runner and asked her to try out for the track team. Not knowing how to decline, she spent one disastrous afternoon trying out for the team. She tripped over hurdles, fumbled the baton, and had some of the slowest times on record. It was the first and last time she ever tried out for a sports team. She also started using her invisibility to avoid people a lot less.

Violet looked at going away to college as a chance to reinvent herself, especially when new people started to come to the island. She wasn’t stuck with the same people she’s known all her life, the people that knew her as shy, quiet Violet that almost cried in front of the class when she had to give a presentation once and she thought some of the kids were laughing at her. At the encouragement of her parents and a few close friends, she slowly but surely started to go out of her shell. She joined a couple clubs, she actually spoke up in class when she knew the answer, she smiled and made eye contact with people when she passed them in the hall, she even went to parties when she was invited. And the craziest thing of all: she actually got asked on some dates.

As much as it seemed like Violet went through some drastic transformation, really she was just letting the world in on her little secret: that she actually knew how ot have fun. It’s something she never let anyone but her family and a few very close friends know, because she was so deeply afraid of everyone else judging her. But something about being in that new environment made her feel like she was free to be herself and she was the happiest she’d ever been. She stayed out late, had plans on the weekends, and actually had more than a handful of friends. She was even known to crack a joke or two. For those four years, Violet hardly ever felt the need to hide from the world, using her invisibility a lot less.

The first few months after graduating college, Violet was doing fine. She still kept in touch with all her friends, was still invited to all the same parties, even went out to a club or two. But then everyone started to get busy as they started their new jobs, and Violet started to get paranoid. What if they didn’t want to spend time with her anymore? What if they got into the real world and realized that she was just a fraud? So she started reverting back into her shell, reaching out less and declining a few invitations beacuse she thought she was protecting herself. Eventually some of her friends did stop reaching out, and she’s finding herself just as lonely as she was in high school. She regrets it every single day, but she’s too scared to pick up the phone and call them up.

After spending a very long time sulking at what she lost, all because she once again let her anxiety get the best of her, she’s trying to be better. In an effort to make friends again and get her confidence back up, she’s forcing herself to do one thing she would normally be too scared to do each week. Whether it’s talking to a stranger in a coffee shop, or going somewhere crowded with friends on a Friday night rather than staying home to watch tv, or even going to a restaurant and placing her order without having rehearsed it in her head at least five times so she doesn’t trip over her words and make a mistake, she has to be brave at least once a week. She’s even keeping a journal to keep track of all her adventures, just for accountability. It’s the definition of baby steps, but she really is trying her best.

You can tell what kind of mood she’s in by the way she wears her hair. On the days she feels really bad about herself and wants to hide from the world, she lets her long hair hang into her face, using it as a shield between her and the rest of the world. Even though it’s just hair, it gives her a sense of protection that she doesn’t feel like she gets any other way. On the days where she has a little bit of confidence, feeling like she can actually take on the world, she wears her hair pulled back out of her face. When she was little she had a collection of headbands she would wear, but since they went out of style around the time Gossip Girl went off the air, she’s started wearing it in either a messy bun or a half ponytail.

She kept it hidden for a lot of years, but loves comic books and superheroes. The love started after she discovered her forcefields and she was freaking out, feeling like more of a freak than ever. Bob, wanting to show her that she was special and not a freak, took her to the comic book store and they scoured the shelves until they found some old Fantastic Four comics. Violet found some comfort and a sense of empowerment reading about Invisible Woman, and the series slowly helped her come to terms with her own powers. She’s always been incredibly grateful to him for that

Growing up and watching her parents be stupidly, cheesily in love, Violet found herself being a bit of a hopeless romantic too. They were proof that true love existed and that anyone could find it, because if someone could love her dumb, cheesy dad, then someone could love her too. She used to put a lot of pressure on herself to find her high school sweetheart since that’s when her parents met, but she’s long since given up on that. She just wants to find someone that makes her happy — it’s too bad she lacks the confidence right now to actually ask anyone out.

When she was younger, books often felt like her best, and sometimes only, friends. She was able to live vicariously through the stories on the pages, seeing herself in the protagonists that were far cooler and stronger than she could ever be, imagining herself inhabiting those worlds and living out the adventures she would be too scared to go on in real life. Stories were a comfort for her, a safe haven, and for as long as she can remember she’s wanted to be an author. She wants to create exciting stories that make young girls feel strong and confident, the same way her favourite stories growing up made her feel.

She graduated from Corona University with a degree in creative writing, and while she’s working on the concept for her first book she’s working at Avengers Comics to make ends meet. She was really hoping that she would only be there for six months, a year tops until she found a job actually using her degree but she’s been there for almost two years. It’s not the worst job in the world, but it does require her to talk to other people which means that she doesn’t love it.

Lives her life deeply embarrassed of almost everything she’s ever said or done. She’s spent plenty of nights laying awake in bed remembering embarrassing things that happened over ten years ago that she just can’t let go of, even if they were so insignificant that everyone else has surely forgotten about it. Also has a really hard time dealing with secondhand embarrassment. If something awkward or embarrassing is happening around her, whether it’s in person or on a tv show or movie she’s watching, she either visibly cringes until it’s over or just gets up and walks away. It’s too much, she can’t handle it.

Can go from being sweet and quiet to angry and moody in two seconds flat. It honestly doesn’t take all that much to provoke her. But thankfully it’s only her family that really sees her at her angriest, since they’re the people she trusts the most to be herself around.

If she actually gets comfortable around you and you get her talking, it’s nearly impossible to get her to shut up. Especially if it’s something she cares about. Not only is she the queen of nervous babbling, but she spends most of the day keeping quiet and keeping her thoughts to herself, that when she’s around someone she actually trusts, all her thoughts and feelings just come pouring out.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

friends, crushes, exes, the usual stuff. literally anything.

[jack-kellys]

it’s fizz, with another fic, another au. idea lowkey stolen from the lovely @vioislit, but she has input don’t worry :)

anyhow

———————

“super” broke

words: 1.2k

warnings: cursing, pain description, passing out...yes that’s all

—————

Jack

Jack didn’t actually like being late.

Crew was supposed to be at tech way before the actors, and yet here Jack was, earning a disappointed glare from his stage manager. Especially as her ASM, assistant stage manager, he should be ten minutes earlier.

Another thing Jack didn’t like- or understand, really: why was he, a design major, assigned to assistant manage again? He could’ve helped design this whole set instead of attending rehearsals and taking notes and all the damn reading he had to do and the organizing and piles of paperwork… Well. Maybe he was assigned this to reorganize himself, actually. God knew he’d been wildly caught up in...himself.

Jack had reason, of course. It wasn’t some self-absorbed thing (for once, Spot would say). He was genuinely busy outside of Shakespeare In Love—he had semester courses that were finishing up and finals were damn near literally creeping up his asshole, he swore. He had an entire art project to do that in actuality would have taken him two months...if he didn’t have only two weeks to do it.

Jack groaned inwardly as he set up his laptop backstage, nabbing his printed pre-show list to start checking things off around the area. He was used to burying himself, but lately the soil felt suffocating. The show—which had turned out to be much bigger than anticipated—his classes, upcoming finals, and...y’know.

The whole superpower thing.

Back in September, when Jack was working a play and running the lighting board, he’d been alone on headset and bored. He hadn’t learned much about sound design yet, so of course he was messing around. The spotlights weren’t up on the catwalk yet, their PSM wasn’t anywhere to be seen, and no one’s voice was crackling over the headset. Jack was idly turning dials on the soundboard as a result. Because Jack—and he knew this—was an idiot, he turned one of the many colored dials way up to one side. He’d done it before to a few different dials and nothing had happened, so he figured ...Wrong. He figured really fucking wrong.

A piercing sound struck horizontally in his skull, like it's lightning-bolt points were stabbing through his brain and out of his ears. His hands lost feeling and he tried to cry out, eyes squeezed shut, though he could only emit a small gasp of agony. Honestly, Jack couldn’t feel much of anything with the blinding pain at the forefront of his nerve endings. He knew his knees were to the ground now, he sure as hell wasn’t standing with his legs heavy as lead. It wouldn’t end, it seemed, the pain still as powerful as it was initially. If his hands decided to be useful, they could switch off the dial, or take off his headset, but for now, they were set on feebly attempting to protect himself. For some reason, he’d stuck his hands out and away, like the pain source was right in front of him.

Then, the brain-burning feeling dropped away, and Jack carefully opened his eyes to find a slightly opaque blue forcefield surrounding him like a bubble. He shifted to one side, and the blue moved with him. He sat up, and it adjusted. Jack broke out into an astonished grin. How the fuck had he gotten a forcefield from a sound board? Not like he cared how he got them—all that mattered was that he could make a forcefield with his fucking hands and that was the coolest shit he’d ever seen.

So that was the whole ‘superpowers thing.’

Since that day, Jack had been experimenting with himself, hence why everything else was becoming even more heavy on Jack’s back. He couldn’t help but dedicate real time to figuring out this random new ability. Homework kind of took a backseat to mysterious abilities.

Jack would find himself a private area in between classes—secluded enough not to simply be found but reasonable enough to not look sketchy—and just concentrate. Envision the blue around himself as he held up his hands, eyes scrunched closed. Picture its shade, a stark and royal blue, but still able to see right through it.

“Jack.”

The pulse of something so close to being emitted from his palms.

“Jack.”

Feel the zap of energy between his ears, somewhere deep in his brain-

“Jack FUCKING Kelly! You in there?”

His gaze finally focused back in with a gasp. Someone was whapping his cheek.

Oh, god. Right. Shakespeare. Shit. He was still standing backstage, and was apparently staring at nothing.

“Hi Sarah, um,” Jack chuckled sheepishly to his stage manager. “I, uh...dissociation’s a bitch, huh?”

Sarah Jacobs frowned. “Technically true,” she muttered. “Just get back to it. Actors are called in twenty, so make sure your side’s all set up.”

“Thank you, twenty,” Jack sighed with a smile as her boots padded away. Thank God he was on her good side. Sarah was one of the toughest seniors Jack had ever come across. Her glare could probably cut straight through a freshman’s heart.

Jack had finished setting in only ten minutes, about to decide to help the other ASM when something blinked out above him and a loud “SHIIIIIT, Jesus…” called from the back of the house.

“Oh God, Spot, what happened?” Jack groaned, glancing up towards the lights as he came center stage. A whole line of them had gone out. Shit. “The hell did you do, man?”

“Whatever it is, you’re dealin’ with it!” Spot yelled back. “I’m going over cues in three minutes. You figure it out, Kelly.”

He was on Sarah’s good side. Not Spot’s, despite he and Jack being in the same grade and shared many classes together.

“Fucking….fine.” At least it would give him something to do.

Jack’s investigation led him outside, unfortunately. He shivered against the cold as he checked the power box, only understanding what about half of the switches meant. Conlon never gave him a damn break, did he.

A gust of wind blew through him, making him shake like a damn leaf in addition. Fuck Spot rights, Jack decided spitefully.

“Uh, hello- hi?”

Jack paused, turning around to see leaves swirling in the air still as well as a curly-haired kid staring at him with wide eyes. He looked freaked.

Jack’s lips pursed, hand coming up to gesture.

“Did you…” Jack pointed to the kid, then in the direction the leaves were blowing.

“Yeah,” the kid nodded hesitantly, “I was running-“

“You were running?” Jack scoffed, surprised. “And it created a damn windstorm?”

“Well, yeah, what’s it look like?” The kid shrugged, taking a few steps closer to Jack. “Maybe don’t...tell anyone, okay?”

He looked rather vulnerable, eyes shifting around their surroundings in search of other possible witnesses. A pang of sympathy struck Jack’s heart, he couldn’t help it.

“Sure thing, kiddo,” Jack smiled. “I’m Jack. You can trust me, I promise.”

Jack watched the guy breathe out a small sigh. “I’m Anthony,” he smiled slightly, sticking out his hand. “And thanks.”

Jack’s smile grew. “Nah, nah, I get it. Gotta keep your identity secret, and all’a that.” He shook the kid’s hand as Anthony let out a small laugh.

Something white and hot zig-zagged up Jack’s arm at the contact. He felt his whole body nearly vibrate, and then he blacked out. This really wasn’t Jack’s goddamn day. ——————

of course the first thing I write is gonna be a series, because I hate making life easy please tell me if you don’t wanna be on my tag list anymore! or if you wanna be on it! it’s been a few months heh :) just message me I don’t bite

TAG LIST:

@suddenly-im-respecsable @getchapapes @felix-loves-albert-and-ralbert @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @stopthe-presses @technically-whizzy @papesdontsellthemselves @starrysence @seasickdolphin @iamliterallyaghost @beep-beep-byler @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @accidentalnewsiesblog @thebroadwayaesthetic @spot-me50-papes @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing @kingofsantafe @we-dont-sell-papes @eveningpaper @sure-as-a-star @godhatesjordan @awkwardstranger98 @ireallyloveiainyoungwow @big-potato-asshole @have-we-got-news-for-you @bxnesof92 @backgroundensemble @orollyitsracetrackhiggins @a-most-auspicious-erster @modern-race-owns-airpods @asphodelnerd @albert-eats-cookie-cake @certified-kingofnewyork

[wahbegan]

Review of HD Spooky Specimens

Yes, after finally giving in and playing the remastered version, a few of them actually merit re-assessment. Not all of them, but some. I wasn’t going to do this but THEN someone reblogged my original so what the fuck

Specimens 1, 2, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 13 all remain the same

#3 (ARACHNIPEDE yeah that’s pretty good right came up with it myself): So, first of all they fixed the “usually in the green room” bug, and now it basically always spawns, and actually comes out of the holes in the ceiling. More pressingly, the mad bastards made it EVEN BIGGER with SIGNIFICANTLY MORE LEGS and, as we’ve established, there is nothing that can’t be made scarier with more shitty little bug legs. Oh yeah, also its speed now seems to indicate it’s just had six cans of monster and a bunch of adderall and it’s about to shit its pants. Then they gave it a really good death screen! One of the only ones where you actually see the process of it killing you! Jesus christ! This thing’s perfect! Firing on all cylinders! They did it, they reached horrible perfection. This thing legitimately scares me now. I fucking hate it. Thank you for that. Previous score: 5/10. New score: 10/10.

#4: (For legal purposes we should clarify it is NOT Samara): The original remains unchanged, but in Endless Mode, which we’ll get to, they put in this new version that has a huge maw of gaping fangs and a bunch of extra arms, plus it twitches all over the damn place like it’s struggling with an epileptic disorder, or possibly Parkinson’s. This is all rather more effective than the usual form, and it has a new power with this weird static overlay effect that ends up basically blinding you before resetting with the sound of a camera, inexplicably, because the devs realized they forgot to suck Fatal Frame’s dick. It does make the chase much more tense, but it also treads that line between hectic and scary and just fucking annoying and frustrating, and occasionally drunkenly tumbles over it. Previous score: 4/10. New score: 6/10. 

#6 (Benjamin Puppetfucker): This, i think, is the only one where the changes in the new game made him significantly LESS frightening. More fair, definitely, but much less frightening. See, in the og, when he spawned, no matter where you were, he’d spawn right behind you. And if you looked at him too long he’d decide to just fucking cheat and teleport behind you. Also sometimes if you tried to hit him with the axe he’d decide to call FORCEFIELD like that obnoxious little shit on the playground we all knew and it wouldn’t take. Now he always spawns by the door and waits there like a good boy for you to calmly saunter over and split his fucking head open. Very good for working out my anger issues, but still. Previous score: 9/10. New score: 6/10.

#12 (URBAN EXPLORERS GONE WILD): Yeah, no, literally the only change they made to this guy is that they added a mechanic where when he sees you outside his mansion, a scare chord plays and he just starts fucking BOOKING it at you, like full on fucking Usain Bolt sprinting at you. Very simple tweak, but also it made me drench myself in piss. Only draw-back to scariness is he apparently has smoker’s lung and can only keep it up for like 2 seconds before he gets tired and has to take a breather. Previous score: 2/10. New score: 5/10. 

BONUS: ENDLESS MODE-

KH1 (Cop Popeye...Copeye?): Yeah, this guy is so slow and ineffective that he’s not even actually in endless mode, but I felt bad leaving him out. Kinda freaky looking? Idk. ACAB 2/10

KH2 (Body bag on loan from Arkham Asylum): He’s aiight. He’s a decent boy. I mean...the fog’s aiight. He’s pretty fast. I like that he fucks with the environment in KH, but there’s nothing really...special about him. He’s just kinda there. 4/10

KH3 (Excellent argument for abortion): So these things are viscerally extremely gross, and the sounds they make are god-awful, but they just refuse to go away, and the god-awful sounds stop being god-awful in a good way and start being god-awful in a decidedly gross way. They either block your way out of a room completely or just hang out and do nothing. Nuisance. Gross nuisance. 3/10

KH4 (The Incredible Teleporting Mummy in a Gown): Yes, I know it’s a hospital gown, shut up, i’m still technically right. Anyway, this dude’s spooky, teleports basically exactly the same way that Mr. Benjamin Puppetfucker does, but his presentation’s nice. I mean what do you want? It’s functionally the exact same monster, so same score. 6/10

KH5 (Now THAT’S what I call a Mad Cow): One of the coolest and most unique designs across any iteration of the game. I love it, especially in this with the glowing eyes and shit? Ooh, mwah, chef’s kiss. BUT....exact same issue Deer Guardian, Guardian of the Deer had. Unnnnfortunately, once you’re out of its maze, you realize that they put it in a maze because there’s really no other way it’s any kind of credible threat to your safety. Just kinda floats along. Doing its thang. It’s just vibin. 6/10. It gets one less point than Deer Guardian because it can’t even go through walls. Amateur.

KH6 (FUNNY TOPICAL REFERENCE THAT WILL AGE VERY WELL): This thing is legitimately freaky as fuck with its eyeless, grinning face and bloody fingers and weird intestine/floral designs on its dress, and the way it appears in front of exit doors is a nice change of page from the usual chase. Then it kills you and between its nonsense death screen and its name in the game files, you learn it’s a fUCKING Rebecca Black Friday joke. Well, that’s getting your score cut right the fuck in half, missy. 4.5/10 Ah shit, I just remembered that this is one of the like two monsters I legitimately dreaded running into, so FINE, terrible genesis to one side and give her an 8/10. I’m still docking her one point from the 9. I can’t let that shit go unpunished.

E1 (Whiteface. It’s literally Whiteface. You know, from Imscared.exe? Yeah that): Now when I say literally, I do mean quite literally. Like they got permission, i guess. So uh...we won’t judge based on that, i guess, since it is an official cameo. Interface screws are cool, second chance mechanic is unique and gross, I didn’t want to run into it, chase is like a bit overly long to where it starts dragging, though. Also since its supposed to be a sentient computer file that breaks the fourth wall, I get very distracted and hung up on the logistics of what the fuck it’s doing in this castle and it takes me right the fuck out of it. Let’s call it a 7/10. 

E2 (Otto the Otter (yes that is its real in-game name)): I, too, hate Five Nights at Freddy’s, and this thing is very obviously not supposed to be scary, it’s supposed to be hilarious and petty and kind of adorable. And he succeeds beautifully. I felt myself cheering for him. I almost wanted to let him kill me so he’d feel good about himself. I love you, Otto. You’re my boy. 10/10

E3 (OH GOD THAT’S NOT E.T.): I fucking love this monster. The soundtrack and interface fuckery are great, the chase mechanic is unlike anything else, it’s truly original, and it’s disturbing in a much more subtle and low-key way that this game is generally sorely lacking. I love this kid infected with an interdimensional parasitoid! At least that’s what I think it is. Hey, if you have a better explanation, I’d love to hear it, smarty pants. (10/10)

E4 (Wolfu, the Wolf Waifu): I’m so conflicted about this thing. I love its gimmick, I love that it sends you to a forest to be ripped apart by wolves, I love the shadow animals. But it’s a fucking anime girl. A FUCKING anime girl!!! I....??? Why is this creature of indeterminate age deliberately drawn to look somewhere between 13 and 16 floating after me? Why does it have catgirl trappings? Why am I suddenly stricken with the unshakable and truly dire knowledge that there is fetish porn of it somewhere? 5/10.

E5 (Lisa it’s just Lisa from P.T.): oKAY, SO. Blatant plagiarism aside (this isn’t like the Whiteface thing, it’s more like the Mermaid Puss being directly lifted out of Amnesia thing), this monster is incredibly effective. Terrifying. Horrible death screen, number one enemy I dreaded seeing. BUT her chase really is obnoxiously long, especially with the looping room number, and eventually you figure out that she doesn’t teleport while you’re looking at her, she just turns invisible to psych you out, so if you just walk backwards she can’t do shit. I’ll still give her a 9/10, but with the caveat that if I wanted to play P.T...I’d just fucking play-Oh. God damn it.

[elexuscal]

Fanfic: In Her Own Image

Summary: Pink has something really, really, really important to share with her fellow Diamonds- a brand new quartz design! And it's gonna be the strongest, coolest, most loyal-est quartz that was ever made.

Pink lay on the floor of the main chamber of the newest Spire on Earth, sprawled out on her belly, tongue sticking out as she worked diligently at her holo-pad. No one paid her much mind, and for once, that suited Pink just fine. She had work to do.

It took a long, long, looooong time, but finally, she was finished!

“What d’you think?” she said, tilting her holo-pad downwards so her tiny pearl could see it.

Her pretty pearl gave a pretty smile. “It is lovely, my Diamond.”

“Of course it is!”

The pearl’s opinion didn’t really matter here, anyway. What mattered was her fellow Diamonds’.

It took some time to get their attention— they were all busy discussing something that sounded utterly boring, ‘supply lines’ and ‘defective strings’ and ‘wasted resources’— but finally Pink’s waving and poking and groaning got through to them.

“Yes, Pink, what is it?” Yellow sighed.

“I designed my first Gem!”

There was a pause as the other Diamonds looked at each other.

“Did you now?” asked Blue, smiling.

“Yes!” said Pink.

“Let us see,” said White.

Pink’s chest puffed out with pride.

She did her best to restrain the smile on her face, and wear the calm, serious expression all the other Diamonds used when announcing something. She stood up quite straight, holding her holo-pad behind her back.

“Presenting,” she announced, “Pink Quartz 1.0!”

“Pink Quartz?” Yellow echoed.

“There’s already a Pink Quartz,” said Blue, gently.

Pink’s fist curled in annoyance. There was? That wasn’t fair! She wanted to name her first ever Gem after her! It was only right!

She stopped herself from saying anything. She didn’t want to look stupid for not knowing there was already another Pink Quartz (even if it was utterly annoying and super stupid).

“Well, the name doesn’t matter,” Pink said quickly. “We’ll name them after… something else that’s pink. Maybe one of my planet’s flowers. What really matters is what they cando .”

“What is that then?” said Blue.

“So much! These Quartzes will be the coolest, most powerful soldiers in all our armies! They’ll be super tall, and super strong, of course. They’ll also be able to fly, and spin, and shape shift, and create forcefields, and control plants—“

“Control plants?” Yellow interrupted. “What’s the use in that?”

Pink was thrown off by the interruption, but rallied quickly. “You could make a whole bunch of vines and roots or something grow really quickly and capture enemies, and drag them down.”

“Hmph,” Yellow sniffed, leaning back. But there was the smallest of smiles on her face, and Pink thought she might have impressed her.

Which was good, because honestly, the reason she’d Not-Pink Quartzes to control plants, was because she loved flowers, but she kept squishing them and they grew far too slowly, and she wanted someone who could make more for her, in any colour she wanted.

“But wanna know their very, very best power will be?” Pink didn’t wait for any of them to answer, and immediately shouted, “HEALING!”

A resounding silence.

Pink squirmed and squirmed.

Finally, White spoke: “That would be a very useful power.”

Pink grinned from cheek to cheek.

“A very difficult one to make a reality, however,” Yellow said. “Our gemeticists have only just begun to figure out a way it might be possibly implemented…”

“Then it can be done,” said White.

“But in a quartz? A warrior?” Yellow insisted.

Blue drummed her fingers. “I think the prospect of a… battle healer is interesting. Someone who could defend herself, and be on hand to give other soldiers healing when it was most necessary.”

“I see your point,” Yellow conceded.

Pink felt fit to burst. They liked it! Her first ever Gem, and they all really liked it!

“But,” Yellow continued, and Pink felt her insides fall, “I am still concerned with the sheer level of power being placed in a single gem. All those abilities would require a lot of resources.”

Blue nodded, but said nothing. Neither did White. When Pink met her gaze, she simply raised an eyebrow.

White wanted her to talk. To defend her plan.

She gulped.

“I…” Pink began. “Maybe it will take a lot of resources. But Earth is full of energy. And it’s my colony, so I can use its energy however I want. And I want it used to create a trial of my new quartz!”

White nodded.

Yellow and Blue followed her lead.

And they all smiled.

Pink screamed with delight, and launched herself at them in a hug, accidentally knocking pearl to the floor in her haste, the silly thing.

They scheduled a meeting with all the best scientists and gemeticists and Kindergarteners for later that day. It would be their job to make her design a reality. Pink could hardly wait.

She tried to get some of her work done— read over the plans for the Communication Hub, and the importation of warp pad crystals, and listen to some squabble going on between a few of her emeralds. But she just couldn’t focus, not at all. Finally she announced she was done for the day, and not at all, so went for a trip in her Palanquin, to see all the pretty pretty sights of her beautiful colony.

She kept getting distracted by her design, though. The picture of her new gem was even more wonderful. Those broad shoulders, those strong muscles, that lovely hair, just like her own, even bigger and more fluffier.

A wind blew, strong enough that it tossed back the curtains and swept the hair out of Pink’s face. It carried a lush, sweet scent, catching her attention.

They were passing through a field thick with the most glorious of flowers, all vibrant reds and pinks. Roses.

The young Diamond glanced down at her drawing. For a moment, the shape of the drawing’s thick curls looked just likes the flowers’ blossoms.

Pink smiled.

“Hello,” she told her drawing, tracing its face. “I can’t wait to meet you, Rose Quartz.”

oOoOo

Author's Note: I've had this idea knowing around for awhile, but Jungle Moon finally solidified it. I absolutely love lil entitled Pink Diamond who thinks she deserves the world on a silver platter...

[tyranttortoise]

Okay, so both of the Alien s/o soul hc you were very good. And they got me thinking again (soul asker annoy) If souls are privet/hidden for any reason, why not show off their tec? I mean they did just crash into the side of a bloody mountain; something has to still be usable.... It might help convince UT Sans faster and maybe US Papyrus at the very least....I think...

* Thank you!  You brought up another good point with the tech.  

We could say that the alien was on Earth during the monster-human war and got banished with the other monsters, so perhaps during that chaos, they lost their tech.. or tried to make a break for their ship, only to be driven Underground.  

But that theory aside, if they did have the tech, I definitely think it would convince the skeles faster.  Let’s see.. UT!Paps, US!Sans, and SF!Sans don’t really need convincing.  

UT!Sans 

He would be super into it.  It blows his mind, and the first thing he wants to do it take it apart and attempt to put it back together.  He wants to know everything about it, and then he wants to know if he can apply those capabilities to other machines.And maybe fix the machine in his basement.

UF!Sans

 He’s still so out of there.  His life is too complicated, and now he has to worry about an alien using a death ray on him?  *nopenopenope.

UF!Paps

“PROVE IT!”

Well, looks like they can prove it.  Paps tries to wave it off, claiming that it’s something they found from the Surface or something that the “CRAZY BITCH ALPHYS” made, but.. he actually starts to believe it.  

He refuses to admit that out loud, however.

US!Paps

Like UT!Sans, he’s going to want to know everything there is about the tech, and then he’s going to have a million questions on astrophysics that he expects answered correctly.  He’s a huge skeptic about the whole situation–although, let’s face it; he’s still going to be making space puns regardless.  

If he doesn’t believe it, he’ll at least think that his S/O is some kind of quirky, genius inventor. 

SF!Paps

He’s surprised by the proof, and now he’s going to take the claim a little more seriously.  He doesn’t really care about the tech, and hell–he doesn’t really care about whether or not their an alien, either.  That’s fine, and depending on what the tech does, he’ll either be impressed, entertained, or try to find a purpose for it Underground.  

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Outertale?  Because I absolutely adore all the designs and everything to do with stars.For this, I did some digging through the Outertale blog because I was pretty sure I remembered reading somewhere about the monsters being a variant form of alien life.  So, technically, the monsters are aliens.  And the alien SOULs in Outertale are actually particles that are held together psychokinetic field that form their bodies and can release energy to cause magic.  

So, while I was about to say I could see there being other aliens out there somewhere that’d end up crashing through forcefield like Frisk.. I don’t know if even think those aliens could break the barrier.  By the SOUL lore of Outertale, human SOULs would still be way stronger/sturdier.  

(Though monsters turning into star dust when they die is about the coolest thing.)

But throwing all that aside and circling back to the alien SOUL thing and what it’d look like, etc, I like the idea of the SOUL being comprised of two shapes.  Probably a heart as the main shape with another shape in the middle, and I think the colors would represent entirely different things.  I’m a big fan of the two shapes being different colors, with two very different meanings.  Maybe the color of the heart represents their core attribute, while the one in the middle is what they strive to be?  

Or maybe it’s actually the color of a vice they have, like the deepest, darkest part of them.   

[recentanimenews]

The 19 Most Hype Moments from EVERY Dragon Ball Movie

Dragon Ball is that special kind of thing that transcends anime fandom itself--there are folks who don't even like anime or manga by and large, and yet they love Dragon Ball. You can sing "Cha-La Head Cha-La" at karaoke and people sing along, you can start shouting "KA... ME..." into a crowd and let them finish the rest--Dragon Ball's popularity is on a whole 'nother level.

  Of course, with that level of popularity you're going to get anime-original content, and in Dragon Ball's case we didn't get too many in the way of filler episodes... we got movies. Dragon Ball Super: Broly, which released last month in Japan to ludicrous box office numbers, is arriving in the US tomorrow, and is the twentieth theatrical Dragon Ball release.

  Twentieth.

  Kinda crazy, huh? Personally, I've always had more of an attachment to Dragon Ball's movies compared to the TV anime (I'm a "read the manga" kinda guy), so I wanted to go back and look through each and every one of the past nineteen Dragon Ball movies and pick out my single most hype, most "HOLY CRAP" moment or scene in each one... and who got the most robbed, for good measure.

SPOILERS FOR 33 YEARS' WORTH OF DRAGON BALL MOVIES FOLLOW

  1. Curse of the Blood Rubies

  Most Hype Moment: Goku vs Bongo

The first few Dragon Ball movies are sorta-retellings of the main story, so in Curse of the Blood Rubies we get Goku meeting Bulma, Yamcha trying to rob them, Master Roshi and Oolong being... themselves... and new villain King Gurumes and his goons in place of Pilaf, Mai, and Shu. The movie had been building up Gurumes' right-hand man, Bongo, so Goku legit having a flying staff fight with him while Bulma tries to evade an entire air force is pretty great stuff. Still, shoutout to Yamcha's not-showdown with Pasta.

  Who Got Robbed? Technically, Goku did, right at the beginning of the movie! Honestly, I don't think anybody got robbed in this--early Dragon Ball was really good at making sure everybody got to do something even if it wasn't related to the action, and Curse of the Blood Rubies lets the whole cast shine.

  2. Sleeping Princess in Devil's Castle

  Most Hype Moment: Goku and Krillin, the perfect tag team

With the goal of "training under Master Roshi" driving them, Goku and Krillin team up to take on all of main villain Lucifer's henchmen at once, and it's pretty damn cool. It turns into a running fight and they get overwhelmed later, but then they get to team up again to fight Lucifer himself (and Yamcha gets to take on Lucifer's top guy!), just solidifying what a great team these two are.

  Who Got Robbed? Again--nobody!

Everybody gets to do something, and nobody feels like they're there just to take up space. It's kinda nice, while it lasts. Honestly, if there's one character the movie doesn't have enough of, it's Lunch, since everything she does is awesome and more of her wouldn't hurt.

  3. Mystical Adventure

  Most Hype Moment: Akira Toriyama's two most popular creations team up to murder a man

Tao Pai Pai's kind of an evil jerk, and in this quasi-retelling of another stretch of Dragon Ball proper, he publicly and brutally murders Bora before beating up Goku and blasting him out over the horizon. Tracking Goku and a Dragon Ball, their fight ends up in Dr. Slump's Penguin Village, where Goku gets an assist from little robot girl Arale and they literally blow Tao up with his own missiles. Solid runner-up moment: Tenshinhan being a hero and using a beautifully-animated Kikoho on the Crane Hermit.

  Who Got Robbed? Nobody, really?

Although the argument could be made for Yamcha--he was doing well in the tournament! It seemed like he was getting a push! He did pretty awesome things in the last two movies--but really, much like Krillin later on, his job is to job.

  4. Dead Zone

Most Hype Moment: Goku vs Ginger and Nicky

Time for that first timeskip! There's just a whole lot of cool action in Dead Zone--Piccolo winding up a punch in slow motion for what feels like a full minute before totally murdering Sansho, Kami's laser eyes, and the final 2v1 where Goku and Piccolo team up against Garlic Jr. But the real star of this movie is Goku taking on two of Garlic's henchmen--Ginger and Nicky--with some slick weapons choreography wrapped up with a great Kamehameha.

  Who Got Robbed? Chi-Chi

Yeah, I guess I could say Krillin since, y'know, he gets peed on and then gets half a building dropped on him, but let's keep this interesting. When Garlic Jr's minions show up to kidnap Gohan, Chi-Chi squares up and reminds us that yes, she is in fact a world-class martial artist who just happens to hang with freaks and aliens, and gets one-shotted by Ginger's forcefield. It's okay, we all still know who commands the strongest, fight-hungriest being in the universe.

  5. The World's Strongest

  Most Hype Moment: OH SHIT THE WHOLE GANG'S HERE LET'S DO THIS

This is a Z movie where Master Roshi--MASTER ROSHI--gets two awesome fights, Piccolo is a good guy who becomes a mind-controlled bad guy and goes back to being a good guy, and while Goku definitely gets the last hit, everybody has to work together to keep Dr. Wheelo off him! But this right here, this one shot where everybody lines up to charge Dr. Wheelo... this is the good stuff.

  Who Got Robbed? Krillin literally adds nothing

In his past three movie appearances, Krillin has guts--he charges into fights, stands his ground to protect people, and even gets a few cool moments of his own. But in The World's Strongest, he's diving for cover, regularly getting slapped around, and the only actually-helpful thing he does is prevent Bulma from getting blown away at the end. Oh well, he'll redeem himself--no really, he totally does.

  6. The Tree of Might

  Most Hype Moment: Goku wipes out Turles' henchmen

On the one hand, it's a little annoying when you bring most of the good guys to a fight, and Goku's the only one to actually do anything. On the other, it's so freaking cool to watch, and Goku styles on all these fools in the most dynamic, satisfying way possible.

  Who Got Robbed? The whole gang shows up, fails to make a dent in Turles' henchmen

Y'know how "wait for Goku" is the all-too-accurate joke of this series? It's in full force here--the Z Fighters come out in force, everybody has a unique opponent to fight, and everybody gets absolutely demolished by Turles' goons. Piccolo's smart enough to show up later--all he needs to do is show up, fight Turles himself to buy Goku some time, get blown up, and collect his paycheck.

  7. Lord Slug

  Most Hype Moment: Piccolo offers a helping hand... to Hell

Hoo boy, do villains die bad in this movie, or what? Goku blows Medamatcha to pieces, and then bounces Angila's mouth-beam back where it came from, decapitating him, but I think the worst one goes to poor Wings here. Wings tries to fight Piccolo, but gets thrown around, beaten up, kicked while he's down, and then he offers a hand (and a job) to Piccolo. Piccolo reaches down, then opens his hand up and executes him. It's awesome enough to get everybody watching to go "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" but also kind of a war crime, so you're feeling uncomfortable about it afterward. Still, really awesome.

  Who Got Robbed? The audience

I think I've talked about this before, and it only partially has to do with Gohan's stupid whistling song. See, the Japanese title for this movie is 超サイヤ人だ孫悟空--Son Goku, the Super Saiyan, but Goku doesn't really go Super Saiyan in this movie. And, y'see, him kinda-sorta-not-really "going Super Saiyan" doesn't actually do anything against titular bad guy Lord Slug other than shift the momentum in his favor--there's a weird Piccolo/Goku not-quite-fusion and Goku blows Slug away with a Spirit Bomb. So yeah. I... might have some repressed childhood issues due to this movie lying to me.

  8. Cooler's Revenge

  Most Hype Moment: Salza and Piccolo reenact the ending of Die Hard

Goku finally became a Super Saiyan in a movie, for real! Cooler is defeated, blasted into the sun! The world is safe again, right? Not exactly--Cooler's top henchman Salza is still alive, and even though he's pretty beat up, he has more than enough left in the tank for OH NEVER MIND Piccolo just killed him from off-screen. Thanks, dude!

  Who Got Robbed? Honestly? Nobody

Krillin puts up a decent-enough fight even if he doesn't take out any of the henchmen--he basically heads up the plan to locate and heal the wounded Goku. Same goes for Gohan--nobody really does nothing in this movie and they all contribute to the final victory, so good job, team!

  9. The Return of Cooler

  Most Hype Moment: Vegeta's constant, awesome assists

Flying in with a huge head kick? Helping to take down Metal Cooler? That final, desperate ki blast that gives Goku the second he needs to land the final blow? Vegeta's a huge help in this movie!

  Who Got Robbed? Vegeta constantly, awesomely getting shut down

Well, for about half the time. That huge head kick? Metal Cooler gave just as good as he got. Big Bang Attack? Vegeta got kicked in the junk, then got his face grabbed and almost blown off. For every cool thing Vegeta does, he immediately gets knocked back down a peg. This won't become a routine or anything, right?

  10. Super Android 13!

  Most Hype Moment: Trunks vs Android 14

The Japanese title of this movie is 極限バトル!!三大超サイヤ人--Extreme Battle!! The Three Great Super Saiyans and HO DAMN does it live up to that. Goku, Vegeta, and Future Trunks (in his first movie appearance!) are each given an Android to fight, and Trunks takes his opponent out in the coolest fashion possible--charging toward him, slashing with his sword, staying in this pose until the dude flies in half and explodes, and only sheathing his sword afterward. So cool.

  Who Got Robbed? Piccolo

After getting beaten up real bad in Tree of Might, Piccolo went on a huge upswing for the next three movies, constantly taking out henchmen, saving the rest of the Z Fighters, and participating in one of the final battles! So we've built up some expectations for Piccolo at this point, meaning it's disappointing when he shows up late (after Vegeta!), barely scratches the final boss, and really only helps by momentarily serving as a punching bag.

  Yes, I realize the easy joke is to talk about how Android 13 full-force punches Son Goku in the Son Gonads, but I'm a professional.

  11. Broly - The Legendary Super Saiyan

  Most Hype Moment: Broly no-sells a point-blank Kamehameha

An unspoken rule of Dragon Ball is that the slower you say "Ka... me... ha... me... HA," the stronger the attack is. After getting thrown through multiple buildings and surviving the explanation of Broly's super dumb backstory, Goku decides to finish things with his signature move. He spends a while charging it up, too, while Broly slowly walks towards him... and then Goku lets loose, firing a Turtle Destruction Wave point-blank into Broly's Dwayne Johnson-esque pecs. Even after the massive explosion, Broly is unperturbed and grabs the dumbstruck Goku by the face. The movie's nice enough to not show us what happens next.

  Who Got Robbed? Vegeta doesn't even last 30 seconds

I could change this to "Vegeta literally does everything wrong in this movie," but this stands out the most--after preening, posturing, bitching, moaning, and finally freaking the f**k out, Vegeta finally decides to join in the melee after Piccolo yells at him. How long does the Prince of Saiyans last against Broly, the Legendary Super Saiyan?

  29 seconds. Next time you rewatch this movie, count 'em. Also, after that, he spends like five minutes complaining about how he's not going to lend his energy to Goku so they can just beat Broly and go home. That was pretty annoying, too.

  12. Bojack Unbound

  Most Hype Moment: Gohan snaps

There's always a point in a Dragon Ball movie where the hero(es) figure out some clever-yet-simple method of beating the exhibition-match bad guy, and it usually involves borrowing energy from friends (or Goku's only-really-effective-in-movies Spirit Bomb, so... same thing). But this time, Gohan goes Super Saiyan 2, like he did against Cell, and it's chilling. Most of Dragon Ball's cast have a body count thanks to the movies, but Gohan tears Bojack's minions apart with his bare hands, and it falls into that "horrific, but awesome" bucket that Dragon Ball sometimes dips into.

  Who Got Robbed? Piccolo

Did you know that this is the last time Piccolo shows up in a Dragon Ball movie until Battle of Gods? Maybe they were running out of things to do with him, but basically he shows up, saves Gohan, and promptly gets blown away by Bojack. He saw which way the wind was blowing and decided to take a break.

  13. Broly - Second Coming

  Most Hype Moment: The Son Family Kamehameha

Oh hey, we're finally into Dragon Ball's other timeskip! Goku's very dead at this point, but he shows up to join Gohan and Goten for that great father-sons activity called "it's not murder if it's self-defense and it comes at the end of a really cool martial arts battle." No really, it's really cool--the somehow-still-alive Broly leaps up onto a spire of rock and throws a huge energy ball down at Gohan, intending to finish him off. Gohan fires off a Kamehameha, and is joined by his little brother Goten. The two of them are just barely hanging on, and their pleas for help become a wish to the Dragon Balls (collected earlier in the movie!) and Goku shows up to help. With a brief distraction from Trunks, the Son family shoots Broly into the sun and his heart explodes! DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS A CHILDREN'S MOVIE

  Who Got Robbed? Piccolo again

Looks like I was wrong in the Bojack writeup! Gohan's in trouble--he's unconscious and about to sink into lava! Suddenly, silently, Piccolo shows up, swoops down, saves Gohan--his awesome flute theme plays, and Gohan is safe. But it turns out that Piccolo couldn't be bothered to show up in the first of several Broly sequels--it's actually just Krillin, dressing up like Piccolo for laughs and getting unceremoniously dumpstered by Broly, also for laughs!

  14. Bio-Broly

  Most Hype Moment: HE JUST WON'T GO DOWN

On a rewatch, Bio-Broly ended up being awesome mostly for how insane the odds are stacked against our heroes. Nobody's a top-tier fighter (we have Trunks, Goten, 18, and Krillin), but everybody keeps taking gnarly hits, getting up, giving it another go, getting knocked back down, and then getting up for another round. They only really get a break when Trunks pours toxic goop all over Broly, giving them a chance to save people from, uh... the overflowing toxic goop.

  Who Got Robbed? Everybody who avoided this because people (like me) said it was the worst Dragon Ball movie

That's Return of Cooler. Give this one a shot--it legit feels more like original Dragon Ball despite being, y'know... a Broly movie. It's nice to be proven wrong sometimes.

  15. Fusion Reborn

  Most Hype Moment: Super Saiyan 3 isn't enough?!

Okay so, Goku's stuck fighting big, adorable first-form Janemba while Pikkon's off trying to free Hell's bureaucracy. Goku turns Super Saiyan 3 and absolutely pummels Janemba... to the point that it transforms into a sleek, mean-looking red-and-purple badass. A sleek, mean-looking red-and-purple badass who can evenly fight with a Super Saiyan 3! Backed by some beautiful animation, the new and scary Janemba lays into Goku and puts him on the run.

  Who Got Robbed? Sorry Gohan, guess you're not the protagonist any more

On any other day, "Gohan fighting Frieza" sounds like a cool thing, right? Well, with Hell frozen over, a whole bunch of former DB villains show up, and Gohan, along with Videl, Goten, and Trunks, get to play cleanup on Earth while Goku and Vegeta do the real work. At least Gotenks re-kills a bunch of Nazis.

  16. Wrath of the Dragon

  Most Hype Moment: When the dust settles

Wrath of the Dragon is a constantly-escalating ride where you think there's a straightforward solution--Tapion sealing the monstrous Hildegarn in his magic flute--but when that falls through, the gang's gotta do what they do best and use some good old-fashioned action violence on the giant monster. This all culminates in Goku going Super Saiyan 3 and using this crazy-ass golden Dragon Fist attack that we never see anywhere else (maybe GT?), and as the dust settles, the clouds part, and you see a victorious Goku standing amidst the rubble with his fist held high... it's almost a spiritual experience.

  Who Got Robbed? Gohan definitely isn't the protagonist any more

So Wrath of the Dragon is supposed to take place shortly after Kid Buu is defeated, meaning this is Ultimate Gohan/Mystic Gohan/whatever he's still in high school so he's not "Adult" Gohan, meaning that you think he'd at least help out against Hildegarn. He does not, barely participating in the fight and getting knocked out almost immediately.

  17. The Path to Power

  Most Hype Moment: Goku wipes out the Red Ribbon Army

Released to celebrate the series' 10th anniversary, The Path to Power is a super-gorgeous loose retelling of the early part of Dragon Ball, going from Goku meeting Bulma to the assault on Red Ribbon HQ, connecting it all with meeting Master Roshi for the first time. Everybody gets kidnapped, so Goku rushes to save them... and takes on an entire army in the process. From an aerial chase to a rough fight against tanks and foot soldiers, to the final, emotional showdown with Commander Black, the entire movie builds up to this and doesn't disappoint.

  Who Got Robbed? Nobody, it's an original Dragon Ball movie

Although there is an argument to be made that we got robbed, because I would have loved more Dragon Ball movies like this, but instead, we took a long break from DB...

  SEVENTEEN YEARS PASS. WHAT, YOU THINK I WAS JOKING?

  18. Battle of Gods

  Most Hype Moment: Goku rushes Beerus only in regular Super Saiyan form

Even the mighty Super Saiyan God form isn't enough to stop the God of Destruction, but Goku's riding this high until the very end. "Only" turning Super Saiyan 1, Goku goes toe-to-toe with Beerus, dragging the fight out into the upper atmosphere and getting whooped--but it's awesome the entire time, especially with FLOW's "Hero" playing in the background.

  Who Got Robbed? Videl

Remember how cool Videl was? How she was Gohan's fiery other half, loved to train, wanted nothing more than to learn how to do all the cool superhuman shit? Remember how she charged Broly head-on, then came back for more? Yeah, all that's in the past now.

  19. Resurrection F

  Most Hype Moment: EVERYBODY GETS TO BE AWESOME

"Krillin, Tenshinhan, and Master Roshi all get awesome moments in a Dragon Ball movie." Yes, Mystical Adventure came out in 1988, but what if I told you that I was describing a Dragon Ball movie from 2015?! While the headline fights definitely go to Goku and Vegeta, Resurrection F remembers that Dragon Ball has a whole supporting cast, and puts them to good use fighting Frieza's army.

  Who Got Robbed? Vegeta, but it's okay this time

This is the one time that Vegeta gets robbed in a Dragon Ball movie and it doesn't feel wrong--it's legitimately part of the story because Vegeta plays with his food and doesn't immediately finish Frieza off. Getting a re-do thanks to Whis' literal deus ex machina button, Goku flies in and killsteals Frieza from right under Vegeta's nose, saving everyone from the real enemy of Dragon Ball: Vegeta's ego.

  And that's all of 'em! Dragon Ball Super: Broly hits US theaters tomorrow, so let's all go see what the most hype moment is... and who gets robbed (my money's on Vegeta)!

  What about you--what are your most hype moments from the Dragon Ball movies? Who do you think got robbed? Sound off in the comments and share your takes!

-----

Nate Ming is the Features Editor for Crunchyroll News and creator of the long-running Fanart Friday column. You can follow him on Twitter at @NateMing. Check out his comic, Shaw City Strikers!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com