#i let tumblr decide when to post them tbh
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I agree that tumblr should try to get growth from artists not just whomever wants to try the trendy things (aka users who will get an account, try for 5 mins, abandon when they realize it isn't like their preferred site) but literally. tumblr isn't looking for new users because more users is the end-goal. Tumblr. Does. Not. Make. Money. Tumblr spends a LOT of money hosting all our fuckin content, and running a website about it, and so far, thats been """subsidized""" by investors who sank money into a pit hoping that one day it would give something back to them. Tumblr TRIED monetizing the existing userbase, without being total sellouts. The reason none of your ads are relevant to you most of the time is bc they dont sell your data to advertisers for targeting. They tried blaze, and ad-free, and crabs, and a merch store, and check-marks. And those are all used by a *portion* of the userbase, but not a *large* one. So tumblr still doesn't break even. They need to find some way to make enough money that the website can keep going once the game of money-pit hot-potato comes to an end. One day, if tumblr continues to be a money pit, tumblr's current owners will have to make a choice. Sell it, or shut it down. Selling it would only be possible if someone is willing to pay for it. Someone would only pay for it if it seemed like it could make anyone any money, ever. So tumblr has to make money. Or at least convince someone that it COULD make money. And having users makes it easier to convince someone you can make money off those users.
i get the point of the polls informally showing that the vast majority of tumblr users have been here for years and barely anyone is new. the problem is that the suits don't look at that kind of data and go "ah, we understand. the majority of our users are oldheads who want things to stay the same. we misunderstood our audience." they absolutely have hard numbers on these things. they surely know most active users have been here forever. but they look at these stats and go "wow, our growth rate really IS shit. we're still relying on an ever-dwindling pool of users who have been here since they were teenagers in the early 2010s. we need to be working even harder to make this place appeal to new users"
the higher ups and investors on sites like this want infinite growth forever. this is why they keep changing the layout to make it look like other, more popular sites, even though we hate it. this is why they try out shit like tumblr live that doesn't appeal to the established core userbase in the slightest. it's not for us. it's also not for the ~5% of active users (if the poll going around is to be believed) who signed up within the last year. no, they're chasing after the hundreds of millions of people who use twitter and the BILLIONS of people who use tiktok, hoping to appeal to them and make tumblr more popular again
this is, of course, deeply stupid. nobody is leaving tiktok to hop on tumblr live. they already have tiktok. and we're on tumblr because we like tumblr, not because we want it to morph into something else. but i'm sure automattic's got venture capital investors breathing down their necks going "why isn't tumblr more like twitter or tiktok or facebook or instagram or" etc. etc., and so here we are
#listen i hate a lot of the changes too - i submit feedback when i feel strongly about it#especially if its something that isn't purely visuals#like the removal of icons from the dashboard is an atrocious move that destroys my sense of community on here tbh#but this is a company with a shockingly small number of employees#desperately trying out as much as they can to see what works#do i like being a guinea pig for every little thing they decide to launch? not really#is it ruining my life? no#would i do the same if i knew i had an insanely loyal userbase who wouldn't leave my site#even if they hated my guts every time i so much as changed the shade of blue?#let alone changed actual features of the site? fuckin absolutely#tumblr users please remember: if a service is free then YOU are the product#tumblr has resisted selling your data as a business strategy for a while now#it would be oh so easy to make money if they just did that instead#every post promising that tumblr users would pay up to keep the site running if only it ~stayeed true~ turned out to be false#so while i understand frustration with individual changes being made#ia m SO fed up with the attitude thats like#WHY are they changing the site aren't we GOOD enough for them >>>>:(((((
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Also forgot to mention a guy in my class today said that blogging is narcissistic. I just sat there like 🫠
#context: every time we finish a coding project we have to write a blogpost about it#(not on tumblr obviously. we each have our own buggy little eleventy site <3)#i really just write up the most basic; dry posts. i'm like 'okay here's what i did; here's some screenshots'#like i don't talk about my life because that's not anyone's business and they didn't request that in the assignment#idk what the purpose of the blog part is tbh. i mean they could've had us write a short essay on it and it would accomplish the same thing#i think they just like watching me struggle with my site that literally breaks itself#so glad i'm quitting this course. learning what someone else wants me to learn; on someone else's time frame; is honestly making#me hate coding. you know what i did after i decided to quit? completed two old projects#i've been letting them stagnate for weeks because i didn't have time to do them#but i find building the front end of a website and learning css and all the things i can do in css SO much more interesting#than trying to show off in javascript#anyway. back to the original point. is blogging narcissistic? lol#i honestly don't see it that way but maybe that's because i spend more time reblogging stuff than actually making my own posts#i also am not trying to make myself look good when i talk about myself. i'm pretty open about being a loser#i'm in my late 20s with no job; no car; no significant other and no prospects#i have a crush on a man who looks like sideshow bob. i don't know how to ride a bike. i am very open about this#does that make me a narcissist? who knows. who cares. i'm quitting the course (not bc of this lol)#personal
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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:
This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:
First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)
These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.
I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.
This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.
Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.
This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.
If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.
With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.
Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can
Food
Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).
This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.
Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.
(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)
Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.
The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.
And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.
It's What Humans Do
In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).
He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).
What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.
But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.
Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?
Angels, Demons, & Asexuality
Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.
Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)
And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).
The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.
I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.
Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.
Except...
Brielzebub
We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.
For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.
And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).
Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.
Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.
Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction
But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?
And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.
At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).
So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?
I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.
After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)
Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.
However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".
Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.
I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.
But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.
(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)
More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.
Aziraphale's Hedonism
Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.
It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.
Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.
Dancing
I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.
I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.
We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.
(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)
As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.
Love Languages
I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.
We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.
You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.
The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).
And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.
So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.
So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.
"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"
Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.
First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")
(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)
More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.
Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.
The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).
Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.
Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.
The Birds & The Bees
Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.
Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.
Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.
The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma
The Kiss. Where to even begin?
This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.
Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.
It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.
Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.
Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.
So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.
I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.
What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.
All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.
(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)
Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).
Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.
In Conclusion
I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.
So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.
You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.
But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.
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Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post
#pinned post bc I'm particularly proud of how it turned out and i don't want it to get buried when people check out my blog lol#Good omens#good omens spoilers#good omens season 2#good omens season 2 spoilers#good omens 2#good omens 2 spoilers#gos#gos spoilers#gos2#gos2 spoilers#gomens#gomens spoilers#gomens 2#gomens 2 spoilers#good omens s2 spoilers#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#aziraphale#crowley#mine#meta#character analysis#character study#discourse#making an effort#this literally took me a week to finish i really hope it doesn't sound stupid lol#i know I'm gonna wake up in a cold sweat every couple days bc i forgot to add something but i needed this out of my drafts and also my brain
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zerobaseone maknae line as tropes / cliches ૮ • ﻌ - ა
pairing shen quanrui (ricky), kim gyuvin, park gunwook, han yujin + gn reader⠀⠀⠀details fluff, slight angst in ricky’s and gunwook’s, bulletpoint and written
cw getting stood up, mention of lipstick use in ricky’s ⠀⠀⠀wc 738 696 604 802 respectively (2840 in total)⠀⠀⠀reading time 11 min
note title kinda misleading TBH... havent written on tumblr in a while, so this is a new account and my first post! im hoping this doesnt flop :( i loved writing this so much, so if it flops i might just repost it ... idk.. likes and reblogs are appreciated !!! (only if u want to ofc 🤞🏻)
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ricky 리키
blind date... but you got stood up, and ricky is your best friend
it’s not that you really wanted to go on a date, it’s that your friend assured you this was the perfect guy for you
and your friend swore, cross their heart, that you would not regret letting them set you up
but now you’re sitting at a table alone, with pitiful looks being thrown your way by the restaurant staff and the other groups of people around you and it’s clear to you; you do regret it, and this is the last time you’ll let anyone other than yourself handle your love life
after compulsorily buying a meal for yourself so as to not leave the place empty handed, you slowly chew on your food, wondering where it went wrong
did he see a picture of you and decided that was it? did he hear a story about you that was just unflattering? what was it about you that made them turn around and away from the restaurant—away from you?
in the midst of all this, your phone emits a ding! sound. you’re not doing anything important, so you see it fit to check the notification
ricky 😡🐱: how’s your date going?
terribly. but that’s a little embarrassing to admit, especially to ricky...
yn: good! i’ll text you later
you lay your phone down on the table and pick up your utensils once again to finish your meal, but a shadow casting over your plate interrupts you
“why are you alone, then?”
When you follow the voice (and the shadow), Ricky is standing next to your table, his phone in hand with the screen open on your text thread. He turns it off with a swift click of the power button, and he takes the space on the other side of the table where your date should have been.
You don’t know how to respond. You’re embarrassed; a second ago, you were alone at a restaurant filled with people, and now, your best friend has caught you lying to him about being at said restaurant alone.
“What happened?” Ricky asks as his arm makes its way across the table to your glass of water. He lifts it to his lips, taking a sip and placing it back down. He looks genuinely concerned, maybe even a little pissed, but all you can focus on is how your lipstick stain is on the rim of the cup, and how he drank from that same spot.
You shake your head. “I, um,” you pause, pursing your lips and trying to find a good enough (fake) reason. “Nothing. I didn’t like him, and he said he had other plans, so I just let him go.”
Ricky furrows his eyebrows at that. It’s a very visible sign of incredulity; he doesn’t believe your lie. Nevertheless, he simply shrugs it off. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
“Thanks, I guess,” you reply, still dealing with the aftereffects of being stood up. You poke your fork at the food before you; a lost appetite and an expensive meal don’t mix well.
Ricky leans forward, letting his forearms rest on the surface of the table. He’s looking at you so seriously, analyzing your every move. “Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask, attempting to come off as teasing, but he only waves you off. “I just want to look at you.”
You feel yourself practically melt under his gaze, but you ignore it. This is Ricky, your best friend... nothing more. Right. This is Ricky—you should tell him the truth about why you’re alone.
“He didn’t come,” you admit. “I wasn’t super excited about this date, but I thought– I thought I would at least go on a date. This is... nothing. I was here by myself before you got here.”
There’s a pained glint in his eyes. Is he feeling sorry for you? Maybe you do deserve all the pity you’ve gotten today. He gulps, keeping eye contact with you while biting on a small portion of his bottom lip.
After a while, he sighs. “Come on.”
Ricky begins to stand up, stuffing his phone into his pocket before you hold him back by the wrist. “What?” you question.
“We’ll go do something else,” he says with a bob of his head. Your grasp on his wrist somehow turns into your hands being interlocked. “Let me take you on a date. I’ve always wanted to, and I promise I won’t screw it up.”
gyuvin 규빈
boy next door who you’ve always had feelings for, you just never thought of him liking you back
you’ve always liked kim gyuvin
from the moment his family moved in next to your house, with his bedroom parallel to yours
you could see everything through his window; who he was, what his hobbies were, what he admired, and how he acted with his friends
this all made him seem... unattainable. you felt like you were the audience for a show, and gyuvin was the actor
it didn’t help that you went to the same school, and to further that, he was immensely popular
it was obvious. how could you expect that someone like him wouldn’t be? he’s tall, cute, extroverted, funny and kind—the entire package, if you would say so yourself
you weren’t totally unpopular. you had your fair share of friends, a few social circles that you hung out with. but gyuvin seemed too out of reach for you, even if he was your neighbor
the singular interaction you’ve had was when he came over to ask for sugar. it went like this: “hi!” “hi?” “i was baking, and i kind of ran out of brown sugar. do you maybe... uh...” “oh, sugar? wait, i think i do, hold on.”
it was that awkward. so when your mother told you she became new friends with gyuvin’s mom and wanted to have dinner at their house as a family, you freaked
but it’s not like you can say no, so you found yourself at the kims’ door a few days later
“Hi! You must be [Name]. I’ve seen you around, and I’ve heard about you from Gyuvin, but you’re much prettier up close! I know who you get your looks from,” Mrs Kim says, winking at your mother.
“You’re too kind, your son is very polite, and...”
You tune their conversation out—did she say she’s heard about you from Gyuvin? Why would he be talking about you?
Your mom finishes it (whatever she was talking about) off with, “They’d be perfect together, don’t you think?” Mrs Kim nods vigorously, then pats you twice on the shoulder. “[Name], maybe you would want to go spend some time with Gyuvin first? I’m afraid dinner isn’t ready, there’s still a long way... I’ll call you both down when it is. He’s up in his room.”
You bow, excusing yourself and obligingly treading up the stairs. This is the second time you’re about to interact with him—you better not mess up.
On the final step of the staircase, you start to hear talking from one of the bedrooms. From where you stand, it’s not clear where its origin is, and so you try to listen for the voice. It leads you to a slightly open door, and holy shit—this is Gyuvin’s door.
“They’re coming over today, and, ugh, I don’t know,” he rants. Is that about you? It has to be. Who else is coming over? You move closer to the door frame, nearly peeking your head in. “I just– I don’t know how to talk to them! Last time, I went over to ask if they wanted to hang out and...” he trails off, the regret evident in his tone. “I asked for sugar. To bake.” Oh my god. This is about you.
You take another step, risking the possibility of the door creaking. “I don’t even bake! I came home with sugar and my mom asked why and I just said I found some on the street.” He sighs, exasperated. You inch even closer, toying with the chances of him catching you eavesdropping, when... creak. At the same time, Gyuvin’s rant is cut short. “Gunwook, you have to help me, I can’t be an idiot in front of them–”
His head snaps towards the door, where you are, standing and staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. He quickly hangs up, bidding Gunwook a hushed goodbye through the microphone. “How much of that did you hear?”
You swallow the lump in your throat, flattered and shy at the same time. “I think... all of it.”
Gyuvin’s hand raises to cup his nape, and he gives you the most endearing yet bashful smile. “Would you, maybe, um, wanna hang out sometime? With me, of course...”
gunwook 건욱
friends to lovers, and everyone is sure you both like each other but all you do is deny it
you know gunwook like the back of your hand
although you met a little over a year ago, he quickly became a constant in your life, especially because you saw him everyday at school
he would wait outside your class, eat lunch with you, walk you home (and sometimes to school in the mornings), help you with homework even though he’s always busy with all the extracurriculars he participates in, and additionally schedules weekly study sessions together
this led countless people to think you were dating, even though you’re really not
you deny it, making a gesture with your hands indicating the negative. “we’re just friends, he would never be my boyfriend,” you laugh it off. gunwook tenses up, and the corners of his lips suddenly become downturned. “yeah, we’re just friends...” he agrees, sounding somewhat unsure
that’s what happens every single time someone mistakes you for a couple. you’re the first to refuse that assumption, while gunwook just follows your lead
you thought, “hey, maybe he’s just shy around the topic of dating.” and so you don’t push it, or even ask about what he thinks of the rumors surrounding you two
at this week’s study session, which he scheduled at his house, he can’t focus
repeatedly tapping his pen and running his fingers through his hair—doing anything but his homework, really—he doesn’t even spare you a glance
and so you take the responsibility upon yourself to ask. “is something bothering you?”
Gunwook sighs, looking as if he’s internally debating the pros and cons of unloading his baggage onto you. His eyes dart around his room, from the door, to the desk, to the bed, and finally to you, before he swipes his tongue between his lips and lets out a breath. “Can I ask you something?”
You drop your pen. Why does he seem so conflicted?
Readjusting your position on the bed to face him, you lean closer to Gunwook as you shove your school books and other materials out of the way. “You can ask me anything,” you say, determined to comfort your friend.
He visibly hesitates, biting his bottom lip. He’s still not looking at you, and not so much as a second is allotted for one glimpse. “Do you...” he pauses, trying to muster the courage. “Do you really think of me as just a friend?”
The question almost makes your jaw drop to the floor. What does he mean by that? Sure, you did have a short-lived crush on him when you first got acquainted, but it faded instantaneously. You didn’t know you could be anything more—you thought you had no chance with a guy like him, so your feelings were trivial to you.
Tilting your head, you reply, “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Gunwook shrugs, also following your actions and pushing all his textbooks away. “I guess– oh my god, this sounds stupid, but,” he groans, “I’ve liked you since last year, since before we even became friends. And whenever someone asks if I’m your boyfriend, you just– you immediately say no.”
He... likes you? You’re dumbfounded, eyes wide and mouth actually agape this time. You’re certain your cheeks are red, judging from the heat you feel rush up to your face.
At your silence, he continues. “I know it’s stupid. I didn’t just become friends with you because I like you, it’s more than that, but everytime you say I could never be your boyfriend or something like that, I hate it.
“I’ve liked you for so long, and please answer me,” he sounds breathless as he speaks, “Can I... can we be anything more?”
yujin 유진
first love / teenage crush
you didn’t know when you started liking yujin, you just did
maybe it was when you would watch him play soccer after school, with him alone on the field practicing and you doing your homework on the bleachers
or maybe it was when he bought you a drink that one time. you were thirsty after running to school because you were on the verge of getting an offense on your permanent record if you were late one more time
clicking a few buttons on the vending machine, the solace provided by strawberry milk was nearly yours—until you open your wallet to find that there’s only a thousand won inside
“maybe next time,” you think, “i don’t need to drink anything right now.”
but before you can leave, someone sneaks their two thousand into the slot for you, and the milk drops down into the small metal box below for you to claim
when you turn around, you’re met with yujin
and then a switch flipped. since then, you’ve noticed han yujin wherever you went
you stumbled onto the soccer field on a hot day when you were assigned cleaning duty, and you found that he was the only one there
deciding to repay the favor, after spectating him practicing for a while, you go to buy a drink for him too when you buy your own
you leave it next to his bag with a note, saying: “you’re really good! i bought this for you, make sure to get some rest ♡”
and so watching him practice while doing your homework became a regular occurrence for you, even if you weren’t 100% watching all the time. it was like background music, and your interest in him (caused by him buying you milk) became a full blown crush
Following the steps of your daily routine, you hurriedly arrange your books in your backpack, ready to go see Yujin—the best part of your day—when your teacher stops you at the door.
“[Name], I’d like to talk to you about tutoring someone,” she says, a soft smile plastered on her face as if she wasn’t actively ruining your day. “You’re one of my best students, and a classmate of yours really needs help.”
As hard as you tried to get away, you got stuck in the classroom for the rest of the afternoon, discussing possible tutoring times and the topic outlines where your “classmate” needed further explanation. Not only were you annoyed you missed some time to see Yujin, but when you got to the field, hoping he would still be practicing late into the night, he was gone.
Although you were displeased at the thought of having to tutor your male classmate every day of the school week, you had no choice. In addition, he was at least paying you, so it wasn’t like your hard work was for nothing—just that now, you would have to sacrifice your time with the boy you like.
You started to tutor him after school, and going to see Yujin became a rare possibility. Your tutoring was yielding good results, however, and your tutee received high marks on almost all tests after being taken under your wing.
He runs up to you, showing you his paper with a big red ninety-eight in the corner; he got an even higher grade than you did. “[Name]! Thank you, look at this! I’ve never gotten a grade this high!” You nod, but everything he’s saying is going in one ear and out the other. Since he technically doesn’t need your help anymore, maybe you could go watch Yujin today.
You cancel your session for the day, with permission from your advising teacher. After two and a half weeks, you’re finally back at the field—but this time, he’s the one who isn’t here. You let out a deep breath, deciding to power through and do your homework like normal.
You’re in the middle of trigonometry when a cool sensation is pressed up against your cheek, water beginning to drip down your skin. Flicking your head towards the perpetrator, you discover it to be Yujin holding a strawberry milk for you. He giggles, handing you the small box and sitting down beside you. “Here. I haven’t, um, seen you in a while. Why’s that?”
You take it from him, detaching the straw from the back of the box and poking it through the designated hole. “Yeah,” you say, sipping on the milk for a few seconds after. “I started to tutor Jiwon, so I couldn’t come the last few weeks.”
“Oh, you must be busy, then. Nevermind,” he mutters, shaking his head. “No, what is it? You can’t just say nevermind.” You scoff, a teasing grin making its way onto your face.
Yujin gulps. “Will you, uh... come to my game this weekend?”
#zb1 imagines#zb1 reactions#zb1 scenarios#zb1 oneshots#zb1#zerobaseone#zb1 yujin#zb1 gunwook#zb1 gyuvin#zb1 ricky#zerobaseone imagines#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone x reader#zb1 fics#zerobaseone oneshots#zerobaseone fics#zb1 drabbles#zerobaseone drabbles#zerobaseone scenarios#han yujin#park gunwook#shen ricky#kim gyuvin#han yujin imagines#ricky imagines#gyuvin imagines#gunwook imagines
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Hellow again 🌟
Pleaseeee, I would happily watch a 4+hours long youtube video of you rendering things, and tbh the more chaotic the better, all your works end up being masterpieces, it's hard for me to imagine them being anything less than perfect and, as a person who get frustrated and abandons their wips when things get messy, it would be encouraging to see how you navigate the "trust the process" stage of things.
I would love to see a process video of the "golden hour skk"(the one where they're in the laundromat) or the one where they're watching the rain (i don't usually like green so that illustration it's the exception, I ADORE the colors and the vibe there), but I'll be extremely grateful with anything you decide to share, on here or on yt
sorry for taking so long to answer this LOL. the plan was to finish another painting (just posted btw!) and screen record then speed it up to have a high quality speedpaint that i could have commentary over... but wifi here SUCKS and things were refusing to cooperate. mb
tumblr won't let me upload two videos so here's one of them lol. i'll make a separate post for the other one ^^
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📚 Small Intro To Polytheism📚
One of the most frequent asks I receive is how and where to get started when it comes to polytheism. This is a fairly broad subject and I’ll try to be as general as I can for advice but I will include specific references for Norse polytheists as that’s my shit. This information can be used to help you find a pantheon or to help you pick deities to work with it. If you’d like to use it to pick a patron deity that’s super, if you want to worship 20 gods and not have a patron deity that’s cool too. You do you dude. Please keep in mind this is all reflective of my research and personal practice. 🌻
Picking A Pantheon/Deity
This really boils down to personal preference. You’ll read a lot of posts and books that tell you many different ways and it’s entirely up to you because it is your practice. That being said, there’s a couple of different ways to go about it.
Research! This is one of my favorite ways to delve in. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with reading the stories of multiple pantheons and picking on that calls to you. You can also talk to other devotees and see what they have to say about deities and their religions. It is important to keep in mind that some religions are closed so please do proper research!
For example, I wasn’t originally a Norse pagan. I read some stories and thought the Hellenic pantheon would best suit me. I reached out to Eros for a while but after feeling no real connection to the pantheon I continued my research! After reading up on the Norse pantheon I decided to reach out to them out. Obviously, I fucking loved it because here I am. Point being, you can pick a pantheon based on research and not some divine message or whatever. You are also more than welcome to try out a religion, decide it doesn’t suit you, and move on.
Divination! You can use runes, a pendulum, tarot, etc.This can go a few different ways. You can write pantheon/deity names on separate pieces of paper, mix them up, and place them face down then ask the pendulum to pick. You can assign a deity/pantheon to each suit of cards or major arcana card or even do the same thing with runes.
For example, this is how I found a devotion to Frigg and Hel. I asked if there were any deities who were interested in working with me and pulled the runes Hagalaz and Berkana which read as Hel and Frigg to me. I followed up with tarot cards and pulled Death(Hel) plus the Queen of Pentacles(Frigg).
Asking/waiting for a sign. This isn’t something I’ve personally done so I don’t have much to say on the subject. You can go about meditating, praying, doing a ritual, or whatever and essentially wait for a sign after. It can come via a dream, something you experience, symbols you see in your daily life, it’s pretty much up to your intuition to decipher it. If anyone has information they’d like me to add in here please let me know!
If there’s a god you’re curious about and don’t want to do any of the above it’s totally cool to just reach out and ask if they want to work with you.
Idk How To Research
Same, tbh my keyword search game is weak. Anyways, good portion of us are looking up dead religions with little reliable resources. To give those curious about the Norse an easy head start here’s a compiled list of books by yours truly(click me!!) . It’s important to take everything with a grain a salt of salt when doing research. In my experience a lot of the retold Norse sagas have been Christianized or written under heavy Wiccan influences. It’s a good idea to do research on the author before reading one of their books.
Other blogs! There are tons of great witches and pagans on tumblr that have information waiting for you. 💗 You can search their blog/tags for good references for books, websites, podcasts, etc. Plus lots of blogs are open to answer asks. If you don’t know where to start for searching it’s best to try things based around your interest like: “norse polytheist”, “hellenic witch”, “gaelic polytheism”, etc.
Media! How lucky are we that we live in the age of technology? Knowledge is right at our fingertips! There are countless documentaries, podcasts, and audiobooks on youtube full of information for different cultures and religions. I’d personally recommend almost anything by BBC, Myths & Legends, and World Mythology!
Books! I love starting on goodreads to find good books and trust worthy authors. They’ve had almost every book I looked up with bunches of different reviews so you can get varying perspectives. Check out your local library as well! A lot of city libraries have online databases now of all of their books so you can “check it out” online and read the PDF(personal fave).
Feeling Lost Still?
That’s completely reasonable and your feelings are more than valid. It can be overwhelming and lot of information to soak up. Just do your best and take it at your own pace, there’s no rush to find a deity or pantheon. 💞 Below are a few other general concerns I hear a lot that I was hoping to address.
“I’m leaving a monotheistic(Christian, Catholic, Jewish, etc) religion and it’s giving me anxiety.” This is entirely common and almost expected in my opinion. I was raised Roman Catholic and my first year to two looking into polytheism riddled me with anxiety. I was constantly concerned that god would smite me down or I’d face an eternity in hell for worshiping false gods. While I can’t speak for everyone that fear was entirely erased for me when I found my gods. I’ve never felt so safe and strong and hopefully with time you can find the same in your gods!
It’s okay to want to learn more or to seek something more. I can’t tell you how to handle your anxiety but please know you’re not alone in that fear. There’s whole communities out there willing to support you and help you find your safe space(including me)!
“What’s UPG?” You’ll see a lot of posts, mine included, that mention UPG - UPG is Unverified Personal Gnosis. This is essentially someone’s personal thoughts and beliefs about a deity. For example, I associate Sif with hazelnuts. There’s nothing in the lore or any book that says that she likes hazelnuts; that’s just a personal opinion(aka a UPG).
“How do I reach out to the gods?” I have a lot of information on my blog about this topic although a lot of it is Norse specific. You can check out my beginner polytheist tag here and my beginner norse post/ask here.
Altar! This is my go to typically. Altars aren’t limited to the cookie cutter image that comes to mind(no hate though I have a few); one thing you can make a side blog dedicated to your pantheon/deity, make a small one in a tin can, or even make one in a video game like Minecraft or some shit. You can be as creative or as to the book as you want. It’s up to you.
Prayer! You can totally just sit down and be like, “Hey man wanna work on some shit together?”. While I’m not 100% that all gods would be down with you being that casual it’s still something you can try.😂 You can reach out to them by sitting down in a quiet space and meditating into prayer, praying in the car or in the shower, or just pray at the altar you set up if you did. Again, I can not reiterate this enough, it’s your practice, reach out to them as you please.
Do something personal! This is more like devotional work in my opinion. Let’s say you knit and you want to reach out to a creative or domestic deity, you can knit something as a devotional act to them and as a way to reach out. For example I pick up litter in honor of the Vanir and Jörð, or I play Skyrim for Thor and Týr.
Most importantly just be honest and up front with the god that you’re reaching out too. Considering that statement be honest with yourself as well. There’s no point going into a relationship with a god if you can’t be upfront, it’ll end up in nothing but grief.
“Can deities reach out through gods/signs?” They totally can. However, it is up to you and your intuition if a deity has and it’s not likely another witch will decipher that for you. Sounds, experiences, images, all have different meanings to each of us - they may show you something that’s very personal to you but would be mundane to someone else. Trust your instincts. However, please remember that not everything is magical, sometimes a raven is just a raven and not Odin.
✨Take everything you learn with a grain of salt. Including this post.✨
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#my posts#witchblr#beginner witch#witch community#pagan tips#norse paganism#norse pagan#beginner pagan#paganism#heathenry#witch tips
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Missions; Iso x GN!Reader Headcanons-Drabble
Ok so funny story, I was planning on posting a fic actually but my dumbass wrote it on tumblr and didnt save itand my phone died and i lost 90% of my progress so heres a drabble/headcanons I have abt missions with Iso
Not proofread, tbh none of my posts are💀
On your first mission together which also happened to be Iso's very first so he was still lesrning the ropes, you'd be the one aside from a senior member on your team to help guide him.
You two are stationed together on one site and he keeps making comments and asking questions about a lot of things to the point where you wonder if this really was the feared 'Dead Lilac', it was difficult to imagine when he was acting like he's seeing the sky for the firsy time.
But then the first bullet whizzes past, and Iso does a complete 180. He's no longer talking or making remarks, instead, he emits a purple aura, his eyes glowing, filled with concentration and determination, ready to take on the enemy. It was kinda hot in your opinion.
You may have been an agent longer than him, but he definitely has more experience. Iso saved you from getting shot dozens of times, throwing himself infront of you and coming out of it unscathed because he had his shield up.
The mission is a success via team elimination, you secure the spike and everyone goes home. Iso, however, is blanked out and isn't paying attention to anything around him. It's as if he's a mindless machine. You decide to sit down with him on the V/LTR and offer him a snack, he instantly snaps out of it and takes the snack grstefully.
You aren't assigned on another mission together for a while, and during that time, you hear stories about how much of a monster he is on the field from the others. You bring that up to him to compliment, but he's bashful about it.
You note how he isn't bashful about his skills when the others compliment him, and you wonder why you keep catching him looking at you. Every time you do, you notice how the tips of his ears are a tinge bit red.
The day comes when you two are assigned together, and it just so happens you two are put on a site together again. While you're setting up, he comes up to you, sheepishly asking what the plan was because... he forgot to read the mission brief...
You wonder how tf he forgot to read the brief when it was one of the most important things and explain it to him anyway. Though, he looked like he wasn't really paying attention, he was just staring at you with a look you've never seen before.
The enemy rush in on the opposite site and you two rotate over, watching each other's 6 oclock. You lead through while Iso is behind you, following closely with his focus unmatched.
The spike is planted, you guys get the picks. The rest of the team is down, leaving it up to you and him. Iso gets most of them, there's only one enemy left.
Iso doesn't realize it, but someone is aiming for him. You see it, and you push him out of the way as you shoot the last guy. Unfortunately, they also shot a bullet which grazed your side, leaving a deep gash.
He's panicking, how the hell did he let this happen? He can see the blood seeping through your clothing and he almost forgets everything. You yell at him to defuse the spike which manages to snap him out of it as you apply pressure to the wound.
Once the spike is defused, Iso immediately runs back to you, the precision and focus he has as a master assassin is half way out the window as he's performing first aid on you. He's apologizing over and over again for not being careful, while at the same time scolding you for taking the bullet. HE'S the bulletproof one here, not you.
Iso calls for backup and updates HQ about the mission status before turning his attentioned back to you. He's still upset about your injury, and scolds you again.
You make up some sort of excuse, having realized the reason why you did what you did. Iso continues to get upset over it and is asking you why you would do that.
You got really annoyed by his scolding and you tell him to shut up before grabbing his collar and pulling him in for a kiss.
#li zhao yu#valorant iso#valorant iso x reader#i love iso#iso#iso valorant#iso x reader#iso x reader hcs#valorant x reader#valorant
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Which are some of your unpopular opinions?
hmm well i don't think most of my takes are that hot tbh. our community here is pretty small so there's usually some overlap with head canons/fanon, etc. most of us are on the same page, or at least in the same chapter lmao. which is great! and even when i see a take i might not wholeheartedly agree with, i feel like it's still added to my subconscious lore to be explored later.
right off the bat, i guess one hot take might be that i find the theme song pretty grating 👀 i skip it every time. it's probably because ive heard it so many times since i was a kid up to now. i don't even really have a nostalgic or sentimental attachment to it at this point.
all my mutuals know this already, but season 1 is my favorite season, which i don't think is the case for most fans. i made a whole long post about that already though.
im already drawing a blank here ummmm
well, i probably have a lower opinion of edd's parents than most people in our little community. realistically it makes more sense that they're simply absent (neglectful) due to their demanding jobs, and that they work hard to give edd a good life, etc. but i tend to view it as more of a malicious, conscious choice. i like angst and drama, what can i say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
this one isn't really a hot take these days, especially among the tumblr crowd, but i like when edd is portrayed as the morally complex character that he is. i don't think he's all good or all bad. he's way more realistically ambiguous than that. i'd say i do lean towards him being a bit more devious than most though.
moving more into head canon territory here, but
i don't talk about this one a lot because it's totally projection, but i think edd would have issues with alcohol. between his autism, his ocd and his unloving parents, i think he'd hit the bottle a little too hard after realizing how much he likes the way it makes him feel. but he'll work through it eventually don't worry.
uhhhh let's see
again, not a scorching hot take here, but i enjoy edmay, and it's not because i don't want ed to be a "third wheel" (he's lowkey a third wheel in the show, but anyway-), it's because they're cute. that simple. i'm totally cool with ed being asexual, and i think it fits his character a bit more tbh. but i really like may, and i think her experience as the sort of outcast among her sisters is a good match for ed's experience as somewhat of an outcast even among his already outcast friend group. i think they make a very cute, very weird, and probably very smelly couple.
i have sympathy for bro! i think many of us do, but yeah. obviously he's really shitty towards eddy and even the other kids, but you don't just wake up one day and decide to be a "monster". he's clearly got trauma and issues of his own and while that's not an excuse, it's worth acknowledging. i'm fascinated by eddy and bro's dynamic and it's one of my favorite things to analyze and speculate about.
to me, it's likely that eddy would try to date girls in middle/high school, perhaps even beyond. i don't see him and edd even really addressing their deeper feelings until after graduation because of eddy's internalized homophobia and deep-seated denial of his sexuality. he'd still be worried about what people think in that regard. idk, i know a lot of folks see them being together shortly after bps, or even in high school but personally i don't see it. like edd knows how he feels, but he's not gonna push it. he'll let eddy figure it out on his own. plus it's amusing to imagine how awkward it would be for eddy and the poor girls that fall victim to his farce.
you'd think i'd have more hot takes about eddy but i think i post most of my thoughts about him pretty openly lol.
oh, i kinda hesitate to bring this one up cuz it's hard to explain or back up with much evidence, but PERSONALLY, i think eddy is pretty smart. i love to harp on his malapropisms as much as the next guy, and obviously he's immature and all the other negative adjectives associated with teenage boys. but he's very clever and witty, and like most kids with terrible trauma, "wise beyond his years". he's inventive and resourceful. he's good at analyzing people (in some circumstances) and learning what makes them tick. and despite being unable to come up with an example at the moment, sometimes the words and phrases he uses, and just generally the way he talks is more....advanced? than you'd expect from someone who can't spell "respect". i dunno, i'm sure at some point i'll make a long-winded post about this subject but suffice to say, eddy is smarter than he gets credit for.
but yeah nothing super controversial i wouldn't say. i have some weirder headcanons that im sure ill blab about at some point, but for the most part like i said, im pretty outspoken with my eene opinions. thanks for asking!!
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Hi. Can I request something similar to the immortals outliving you? Could it be with the rest of the characters and us passing from other causes?
Their reactions to losing you
I wasnt sure if you wanted the immortals as well, so I added them in here as well!
This is all written in one go since tumblr doesnt let me save drafts for asks so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistakes <\3 it's like 1am rn
CONTENT WARNINGS, idk what all needs a warning but I'd rather play it VERY safe:
M*rder
M*rder revenge, almost all of them touch on it tbh, love me the revenge trope
Snorts^
D3ath, obviously
Grief and the general hurt that comes with it
In EJs case he sees your death first hand
Does violently slamming yourself around count as SH /genq, because if so that's vagued in EJs part as well
Maskys handles a hit and run but its vague
Masky also hints to a smoking addiction
Nonspecific illness in hoodies part
Slenderman;
I remember that I mentioned this for Slendermans part, but I had an idea that he already accepted that fact that you wouldn't last forever
But I don't remember if I mentioned/vagued the idea of how he'd react to you're life being forcibly cut short
Accepting the fact you'll eventually pass away does nothing when he finds out someone else was responsible for your sudden end
All that comes out is a cold rage, something that the creature hasn't experienced in a long time
Writing this, it makes me remember that clip from the first episode of castlevania where dracula appears in the fire in episode one, after they kill his wife
But instead of carelessly showing himself to the world in a fit of rage, he fiercely protects everything that you touched; his forest, your home, your grave, ect
But despite the rage he doesnt immediately take down the person who caused this
Nonono, he does what he does best; he chips away at the person's mind through stalking and paranoia, essentially tormenting them for.. god knows how long until he gets bored
When he does decide hes through with them he'll make sure their... death... is drawn out
Basically don't meddle in the life of a forest monster; he may be a very... passionate.. lover
Splendorman;
Incredibly similar to the other version of this post where he naturally outlives you
But if you pass unnaturally, he'd be even more torn up about it
His time with you was already going to be short to begin with, but it was cut down even shorter
Doesnt matter the cause; murder, illness, accident, ect.. he'll be just as broken up
There's no real significant changes; he still mourns and honors you the same way for the most part
Laughing Jack;
It was an accident; one day you were there and the next, gone
He would stay in the house for a few days, not even knowing what was going on
At first he'd be worried and confused, before those feelings would deepen into something debilitating
He'd probably eventually find out through the news, after turning on the tv to pass the time and fill the silence
His worry immediately morphs into ice cold; he could feel his heart drop
He'd throw caution to the wind and try to track down whoever did he
He doesnt care if it was an accident, he wants justice and compensation
He follows a similar route as slenderman; the only thing is, is that jack lacks the patience to draw it out
After everything is said and done he's beside himself; avenging you didnt bring him back and it hardly made him feel better
He likely just. Goes back to what he was doing before he met you; drifting from house to house and causing havoc; but now he carries a melancholic aura
Eyeless Jack;
Another story of revenge, but with a twist so his part isnt too similar to LJ and slenders
So I'll be using the idea I should've given slenderman (but I'm too stubborn to rewrite his part)
Like Slenderman, Jack is seen as a cryptid and thus, there are naturally going to be people trying to hunt him down. Especially considering before he was a cursed monster he was a normal dude who got caught up in a whole... thing... and who's body was obviously never found as it still walks
Jack is.. semi used to that; but one day he completely catches him off guard, and what's worse is that you were there when it happened
It was a group, too, usually they come in two; but there were more that day. If it were less Jack could have easily put a stop to it all
It escalated
You had tried to step in to help him, to buy him some time so he could run; but it all went wrong
I don't like going into detail about this kind of thing, so this will be up to interpretation
The whole thing flings him into a rage and he makes quick work of the remaining hunters, but it's all too late
Even if he wasn't, how could he help? He cant just leave the woods and dump you at a hospital... but he doesnt have the supplies to help you then and there... and even if he did you were both much too far away from the cabin
It just leaves him helplessly trying to stop the bleeding
He hardly ever leaves the woods after that; not even to eat
He's resorted to.. rather violently subduing the monstrous side of him that craves flesh
There's broken furniture everywhere
He blames himself
He should have had you stay in the cabin
He should have told you to run
He should have told you to hide
He should've...
The worst thing is that he begins to believe that it was his fault; afterall he let you out of his sight when he began fighting. Even worse, and perhaps stupidly, he believed this wouldn't have happened if he never met you
Its
Rough
Masky;
He just sits there, quietly
Be it shock or something else he just sits there
But his mind is going a mile a minute to try to figure out what exactly happened to you
You were.. in a wreck, and the other person just. Fled.
As feral as I tend to write and interpret masky, he can be thorough when it comes to investigating
Though I'm torn in whether or not he'd actually be able to find the person; especially because I'm kinda. Dumb when it comes to crime stuff and I'm not about to do mental gymnastics on something I'm not confident in <\3
In terms of grief, he seems... lost...
I don't usually hc that Masky smokes; that's just a Tim thing
But I feel like the smoking would bleed into Masky and become a whole... issue.. whether or not Tim as his own person knows about you/was involved with you is up to interpretation; as I tend to write the proxies as a separate.. thing
Still trying to find the correct term
But yeah
Focusing back in on Masky, he's kinda just lost. Angry, definitely, but mostly just. Wandering through life
He doesn't want to forget you
Hoodie;
Similar to Masky he's quiet and lost
Similarly he would feel the urge to try to find out who took you away; but I feel we've had enough "S/o dies at the hands of someone else" for this post, so we'll do something else... and because I fear hoodies portion will be too similar to maskys
You got sick, to put it simply
It's.. odd..
He's well aware that you're deteriorating, and he's aware that time is running out
But he can't help but feel calm in your presence; its only when you're apart that he feels that dread, and its constant
Maybe it's the fact that when he's with you he can easily convince himself that, in that moment, you're alright
It hurts when it finally happens
Out of all the guys, he's probably the most normal(?) About the situation
He visits your grave, a lot of the time, leaves little gifts there
He doesn't talk much, but he probably talks to you
Likely keeps something on him to remember you, like a locket or something
#creepypasta headcanon#creepypasta#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#crp#creepypasta imagines#slenderman imagine#slenderman x reader#slenderman#splendorman x you#splendorman imagine#splendorman x reader#splendorman#laughing jack x you#laughing jack x reader#laughing jack#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack imagine#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack#masky x reader#creepypasta masky#masky x you#hoodie x reader#hoodie imagines#hoodie x you#angst#creepypasta angst
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Update
Not feeling so hot and I'm not going to do anything impulsive at 8PM on a Friday evening but
here is a link to a sfs folder with ALL of my content that's currently only hosted on patreon.
I want to add individual sfs links to the tumblr posts but that's a lot and I'm now regretting never adding alt dl links this whole time... and sorry I don't think the downloads in the sfs folder are in order... it also might be some other things, like fixed meshes or stuff. tbh I just added everything I've made after April 3rd 2023 since that was the last time I uploaded anything to sfs.
I guess while I'm here... I was going to wait until after I finish up the last of my active requests (probably by Monday, I'm almost done) but I desperately need a break from CC. I sent a group message on the 17th to my $4 and $6 patrons encouraging them to cancel, but I know not everybody knows patreon even has dms so maybe you'll see this post and I'll reach out again in the coming days so nobody is wasting their money. I am so immensely burnt out and I need to not create for a while. This is completely my own fault, nobody made me work on CC for 8-10 hours 5 days a week for the last several months and I fully knew it wasn't sustainable ages ago but I kept doing it because it made me feel good, until it didn't. Quite honestly, even before I sent the group message the instant wave of relief I felt just having made the decision to take a break... that caught me off guard but just confirmed I need this. I do feel really awful about it because I feel like I'm letting people down but at the same time I don't want to hate creating which was already happening. That being said, I don't know how long the lull in CC is going to be, and if you're only following me strictly for CC I apologize. As said I am still finishing up one request I still had, I'm about 75% done with that as of this post. But that's gonna be it for a while.
There is a part of me that wants to stop using patreon completely and unpublish my creator page (which is what I'm not going to impulsively do tonight without properly thinking it through...since there are positives like how easy it is to download files and whatnot) but I'd again encourage not only those who joined the $4 and $6 tiers but also the $2 tier to cancel so that you aren't wasting your money. If I did do this I would definitely do the individual sfs links on everything first. I'd not just leave you guys unable to download my stuff.
So, what does that mean for this blog? I'll spare ye, impatient readers, who have already read a lot because I ramble⬇️
Well, as of posting this I still have THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FOUR Strangetown posts in my queue. And I'm not tired of playing that.
I'm looking forward to having an opportunity to do all of the things I've been neglecting. I'm finally going to go through the subfolder within my downloads of everything I'm downloaded the last few months and decide if I wanna keep it in my game or not. And finish default replacing everything. And all my other various little projects I haven't been doing.
Also, I want to start playing Veronaville 😮I've already started downloading lots from kattaty to replace the in-game ones, and I found a cool replacement for the neighborhood map. I am leaning towards making a new sub-blog for this so that you don't have to try and follow Strangetown/LFT posts and Veronaville/ALT posts at the same time. I've only ever played the Veronaville sims for like one day as part of a super failed megahood years ago so I'd like to get to know them.
So basically, I guess I'm a gameplay blog for now? Until I want to create anything again anyways, but I don't know when that will be.
I don't know how to end this post... I'm sorry for the disappointment, but thank you so much for enjoying my stuff 💛💛
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Hii, fellow poly Minsung whore activist here🥰 I’m nervous about using my account so I went anon, I hope you don’t mind. I have a little scenario here that I’m probably so wrong for but I’m delulu ash.
Maybe reader (whose a fan or a friend is dragging her along with them) meets Minsung (who’re already in a relationship ofc) in a city they’re having a concert in. Minsung are like “hey ykw she kinda fine, let’s spice things up and bring her back to the hotel.” During their night together, the boys use degradation, praise, grips hard enough to bruise, and soft touches just to make her head spin.
Now I love me some a sprinkle of angst. She has a moment of overthinking after Minsung fall asleep and escapes?? Sort of lol. Minsung do not like this, no no no😔.
That night, she ends up at their concert with some good ass ground floor tickets. While she doubted they would see her and if they did, they probably wouldn’t recognize her (girl like they weren’t giving you the best dicking down of your life the night before), they do in fact see her and you just made this easier for them bbg. They told the other members and security guards to bring her backstage after the show.
Oh babe they mad as hellll. They don’t even wait to get back to the hotel as they drag her to an empty room and destroy her. We’re talking hand prints on her ass, more prominent fingerprint shapes on her hips, arms and neck, tears streaming down her face, the whole 9 yards.
Idk where to go from there tbh. Anyways I hope you enjoyed my delulu thoughts <3
Okay now, honey. First of all, there's no such thing as a "wrong" scenario. Everything that it's discussed in this blog is acceptable and very much not-delulu, so don't brush off your scenarios. Specially when is so FUCKING GOOD AND DELICIOUS like this one. Like, excuse me🥵🥵🥵?? You came up with this masterpiece and brought it to me for free?? Sweetie, you should post it in your own blog and let the world see this jewel of yours. Don't feel nervous of using your account. I always make my horny, unhinged requests displaying my username. This is Tumblr. No one here can judge you for your thoughts
You bet I enjoyed every line of this delulu side of yours.
Reader doesn't really follow the group, but her friend is a Stay and this concert is the lifelong opportunity they've been dreaming off, but they don't want to go alone, so they drag Reader to accompany them. While the friend is resting in the hotel/house, Reader decides to take a stroll around the city and comes across MinSung at some point. Maybe they meet in a shop, where they struck a converstation about common interests, and seeing they get along well MinSung agree and say "fuck it, can we join you?" and that's how they get to know each other better.
Reader doesn't know who they are, but their faces are familiar, and they're just happy to chat with someone like normal people. They've wanted to explore the city a bit before the concert, as the weather looked great for some alone time together, but they encountered the language barrier issue and the lack of knowledge about the place. When Reader appears and helps them out, being so friendly and nice about it, their first instinct is glue themselves to her for the rest of journey. Also, they find her really attractive and can't help but admire her discreetly and exchange appreciative comments that she can't understand. And that's how they spent their day hanging out, just the three of them, while Reader acts like a guide and they start to be bolder with her.
At some point they're sitting in a bar together, drinking a bit, and they have privacy to talk about anything. It's also then whey they begin to make their attraction clear. They've been so fucking stressed with this tour, sex recently hasn't been enough for them, and she's just so gorgeous. So cute. The way she speaks, moves, even the way she dress is driving them mad slowly. It doesn't help that she returns every bold gesture from them. She's not blind. She finds them hot too and it's been a while since she had some "fun".
So, after a while of wandering hands, spicy "jokes" and suggestive comments, the tension feels too thick and they throw the question in.
"We should get going back to our hotel room. Want to come with us and see it?"
She's not drunk enough to miss the intentions behind that question, but she's tipsy enough to accept.
The flirting doesn't stop and when they set a foot in the elevator, the tension snaps. They jump at her like hungry wolves, biting and grabbing every piece of skin they can get their hands on, and Reader welcomes all of it like a submissive lamb, ready to be devoured.
They struggle to open the door, being so occupied feeling her up under her clothes and leaving marks already. Once they're inside, one of them closes the door with a kick without taking his attention from her. They leave a path of clothes behind them that ends up in their bedroom and then she's thrown to the bed. She doesn't have time to recover before they're on her again, exploring every inch of her know naked body with their mouths and hands. Her brain is all mushy from the intense pleasure and adrenaline she's feeling. MinSung unleash all the pent up frustrations and desire they've been dealing with on her.
The entire night was filled with her moans and whimpers while they took her roughly, leaving their hands printed on her hips and inner thighs, as they groaned and cried out of sheer pleasure and relief. Sometimes they went at her at the same time, others they took turns while one watched.
"Such a good girl for us, isn't she, jagi?"
"Damn right she is, so eager to please us, to let us play with her body."
"Look at her, so obedient and cute for us. What a good whore, letting herself be fucked by some men she doesn't even know"
"Go on, use your mouth like the little slut you are. Nice job, kitten"
"We'll fill you up so much it'll be leaking out of you for days"
Her mind turns blank, the world spins, and her body starts to shake uncontrollably and tremble with the amount of orgasm she had. They grab her legs and torso with such force it feels they're trying to press the imprint themselves in it, moving her body as they please to find the right angle. When she cums again, she's half-unconscious and the boys are tired too, finally spent. They clean her up, massage the bruises the left and watch her fall asleep while caressing her face and kissing her skin. They chat for a while before the tiredness consumes them too, Reader safely kept in their arms.
The morning after, she's the first to wake up and doesn't take long to realize what happened. She remembers enough of it and feels her face get warm at the memory, but also gets giddy at it. She stretches a bit, careful to not wake them up, and supress a hiss of pain when she feels the marks they left. She reaches for her phone, reading the messages and calls from her friend, who's worried sick, at which Reader calms them down by giving them a "censored" version of the events. Then the friends reminds her of the concert and sends a photo of one of the promotional posters, featuring all members.
Reader feels her blood freeze inside her body.
She turns around to look at the boys in bed, then at the picture on the phone, then at the bed again, and she feels faint.
Maybe it's the remnants of the alcohol, maybe it's the weight of the revelation, maybe it's the lack of sleep she got, but Reader has to fight off a panic attack and the only thing she can think of at this moment is running away from this situation. So she gets dressed, grabs her stuff, and leaves hurriedly without waking them up and full intention of not looking back. When the boys wake up, they expected to see her in their arms still and maybe get another round, but imagine their shock when they see she's not there. Ohh honey, they're seriously mad. Why the fuck did she run? How could she after they night they had? They try to brush off the anger because they know chances of seeing her again are slim and there's no point.
Meanwhile, Reader's friend notices she's not quite the same since she came back and she's even more reluctant than before in attending the concert. To get her friend off her back, she admits she saw MinSung during her walk and chatted with them "a bit" and now she's embarrased to see them. Her friend, obviously, has a fangirl moment at first and chastises Reader for not telling her first, bombing her with questions, but she avoids the spicy parts of the story. Her friend finally tells her to not worry, that although their seats give a good view of the stage, it'll be very hard for the boys to spot her in the crowd anyway. Reader relents and goes to the concert, having dressed prettily at her friends' insistence because "they have to look their best for the occasion!". When they arrive, Reader feels more at ease with the amount of people surrounding her and thinks her friend said the true.
However, when the group comes to the stage, she feels her heart stop at recognizing the men she had that glorious night of sex with and becomes shifty. They don't make signs of having spoted her, even when Jisung came near their zone, he didn't seemed to notice her, and she allowed herself to enjoy the performance, convinced that they was safe. But she didn't know Jisung had indeed spoted her, hence he aproached their location to confirm. He didn't hesitate in telling Minho, and when they overcame the shock, they former anger came back again and they agreed to a plan. Stays could feel a shift in the boys' performance, they seemed more brutal, harsher.
When the concert ended, Reader was about to leave with her friend until a security guard stopped her and told her she was demanded backstage. Both of them were shocked and confused, and Reader's friend even acted worried, refusing to ler her go in fear she got in trouble for something. Reader calmed her down and asked her to wait in the hotel, since the man told them it wasn't anything bad. While she was leaving, the friend winked at her and exclaimed "tell me all the details when you sign the NDA".
A staff members takes her to an empty dressing room and tells her to wait, leaving her alone there. She's fidgeting, not knowing what to expect but having a small suspicion. Suddenly, the door opens with a slam and she jumps in the place. When she sees the two boys enter and locking the door behind them, she knows she's fucked.
They let her know exactly how pissed off they are, interrogating her and even accusing her of being a fan pretending to not know them just to get her wet dream come true. She argues back and denies it all, returning all their yells, until a hand grabs her painfully by the jaw.
"You don't fucking get to talk back to us, whore. We should've put you in your place from the beginning"
"I think she's a little too high up there, jagiya. Let's remind her exactyl what her place is"
All the gentleness they showed the first night is gone. Her clothes are ripped in shreds and thrown carelessly around the room, as she's pushed forcefully on the ground.
They don't hide their satisfaction and pride at seeing the faint marks they left previously, pressing them enough to make her whine in pain.
"Don't whine, slut. We're about to give you even more of them."
They go at her at the same time, no turns now. They edge her until she's sobbing and screaming, first with their fingers and then with their tongues. She gets spanked by one of their belts, feeling the bruises starting to form in her ass cheeks and thighs. She's then gagged with the same belt because "way too fucking loud, kitten. you're not allowed to make a sound".
When she's spasming, eyes rolling back and begging through the belt for some release, anything, the boys exchange a knowing glance and untie the gag, letting her breathe through her mouth in relief. But her relief doesn't last when they position her in the middle, with both of their dicks inching to her cunt. She knows they're up to something, but her brain is too fucked to guess what. When she feels both of their cocks entering her at once, she's about to scream again but a hand quickly covers her mouth, and they both start moving agressively inside her, leaving their dicks printed in her walls. The feelinf their cocks rubbing against each other and her clenching almost makes them cum again, but they control themselves.
They fucked her back and forth across the room, moving from the ground to the couch to the chairs to the make up tables, etc.
"That's what you fucking deserve for leaving us, baby. What the fuck were you thinking with that dead brain of yours, hm?"
"Look at her, so cockdumb already, acting like a desesperate bitch in heat. Aren't two cocks enough for you?"
"Is this what you wanted? Being fucked by two celebrities to share the experience with your friends? Of course you did. You're nothing but an attention seeking slut, only thinking about having a dick inside you"
"We'll make sure you can't even walk after this. You're not going anywhere this time, darling. Let's see how can you run away then."
She can no longer tell if what she's feeling is pain or pleasure, but when they cum inside her and she feels both of their cocks twitching inside her, it triggers her own orgams and her vision turns white. She faints in their arms, muttering and having spasms. They pause to recover their breaths too, checking on her worriedly and chuckling softly when she replies gibberish. One of them lifts her up bridal style and lay her down in the couch, both caging her with their bodies.
"You were ours from the moment you entered our your bedroom"
Tagging @channieandhisgoonsquad @2chopsticks2eyes @sweetracha because they gave me ideas for this. Feel free to add something or give your own version of it. The more the merrier.
#poly minsung#minsung x reader#lee know/han jisung x reader#lee know x reader x han jisung#skz smut#lee know smut#han jisung smut#requested#skz drabble
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Yeah I think I am officially done with the Helluva boss critical community… for good.
Before you guys flip your shit and accuse me of being a Stan, let me explain.
So I deleted my tumblr app and decided just to refreshen my mind and focus on other things. (Like my art, my own possible indie project, ect ) and being away for a while… it kind of made me realize how much of the critical community was becoming too much for my mental health.
Originally, I joined because season 2 disappointed with season 2, didn’t like how Vivziepop retconned things like the pilot, the possible workplace allegations, and of course… the fandom being super toxic as hell work promoting toxic positivity.
But holy shit…. Somehow the critical community is even worse than the fandom.
Like I swear nobody talks about what’s wrong with this community. I’ve seen blogs have such an unhealthy hatred to Viv where they post nonstop about her… it’s insane. Like when making account names “wah I hate Vivziepop”
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think all critical blogs act like this. I do in fact still follows few, only thing is the ones I follow don’t constantly whine and bitch all the time and actually do critique. And these reblogs I follow just do AUs, rewrites, and redesigns which to me I will always see as harmless fun since that’s what I wanna do.
As for the other half of criticals…. Hell, these people legit get mad and share screenshots making fun of fans with different opinions. Like, bruh, didn’t you guys get angry at stans for doing that to y’all? You guys are literally doing the exact same thing. And no I’m not talking about sharing screenshots of toxic fans that attack former employees and make excuses for a questionable workplace…. But like they’ll just mock fans that didn’t do anything bad.
I’m all for critiquing a fandom and there are Stans that have such an unhealthy parasocial relationships with Viv… but somehow I see people acting the same with their unhealthy hate obsession. Literally going through her IG and bitching and moaning…
Seeing people making assumptions about her and Gooseworks with the glitch x as well as Tracy just shows me how unhealthy this hate is becoming.
Yes, Viv and Tracy had a bit of a heated thing on Twitter. However, I don’t think it’s fair to assume she’s this evil evil hellspawn that’s plotting to destory glitch x. “She’s kissing ass to goodeworks with her fake smile” dude she’s probably a fan of their works, you really don’t know that.
Also, while I’m aware of the allegations concerning Salem (who I hope really recovers and they did really make this episode the best IMO)… it’s probably not fair to assume all employees get treated the same way… the only people that seem to know what went down are Erin, Ken, Salem, and Ashley Nicolas. Do I think the workplace abuse is possible? Yes, it’s why I haven’t bought any merch.
BUT the reason why I don’t like to discuss things like this is because half of the other stuff seems like flimsy evidence besides Salem’s vents. And I think it’s a bit risky to spread such misinformation and make assumptions. (One blog I’ve seen had so many anons sharing rumors and just go along with them which to me is dangerous…)
Like when the new episode aired, unlike everyone else, I actually loved it. This recent episode was so great it’s what I wanna see more of for Helluva boss. But eh… I noticed some haters bitch for the sake of it. Now, some of the critiques aren’t too bad, I did notice some flaws and I understand the concerns for salem. But like other half it’s just bitching for the sake of it…
Also I heard rumors how the deranged stalker fan of Fizz is a parody of critical blogs… tbh I highly doubt that because that trope always existed in cartoons (like Aggrestuko had one too) but considering a good chunk of “criticals” have a hate boner for viv, can you blame some fans for thinking that?
I really don’t like how the critical community became the anti community. Because not every critical person is an anti, I don’t even wanna fuck with that shit and I don’t ever wanna resort to that.
Hell, they drove one critical blog I loved away… over a bad miscommunication.🙃 and that blog was right, you don’t wanna make friends with this community with how some toxic people are.
Also I’ve been drawing a lot of Hazbin hotel stuff for my Heaven AU and it reminded me why I enjoyed Vivziepop’s ideas and stories so much. It somehow was helping me take edge away from my mental health.
I think it’s possible to still be a fan without labeling yourself as a stan or anti. That’s why I made this blog for. I was so worn out by the toxic positivity of the fandom, so this is my comfort space. But now I need to cut the critical community away since it’s now full of toxic negativity.
And as I said, I do plan to make an indie cartoon series and I feel like being part of this critical community is NOT gonna make me professional on my end. That being said, I don’t like Viv as she said things that rubbed me the wrong way BUT I’m not gonna let that kill my joy for Hazbin hotel.(and Helluva boss to an extent) I do think she has good ideas and they CAN work but she does need more writers than animators to help her execute them.
That’s why I’m only a bit more excited for Hazbin hotel lately
Now I’m not angry at anyone who followed me. I just wanna make some boundaries, and that being said, I’m still gonna critique both shows. However, I’m just gonna tag these posts as HH/HB critiques than HH/HB critical for now on. I feel like that’s more professional and more genuine if you wanna share opinions on stuff.
Just wanna get this off my chest, it’s what I wanted to express for a while.
And if fans come across this blog, don’t be afraid to interact I won’t bite. Everyone has their different opinions. I only have an issue with Stans that promote toxic positivity and dismiss employees that were treated badly is all.
#helluva boss critical#helluva boss critique#hazbin hotel critical#hazbin hotel critique#for now on#I wanna restart fresh#and I don’t want antis and Stans to interact with me#you guys need to touch grass with your obsession with viv#it’s hella creepy
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Your talks about Missa's mischaracterization are exactly why I made a post specifically asking for Missa mains to give me their analyses for me to reference in Awake Me From My Nightmare.
I even went as far as to slap some parts of the post in Google Translate encouraging Spanish qsmp fans to reply to me and I'd just have someone translate their analysis for me. Which I did (thank u Kami ily). And I was so fucking happy when more of my responses came from Spanish speaking fans than English. Peak QSMP moment <3
But anyway yeah. Missa's characterization has been lowkey my biggest concern writing the fic tbh. I wanna do him justice. He definitely isn't written as a pathetic woobified uwu cinnamon roll, that's for sure.
I've been staring very hard at the paragraphs people gave me on his character and I THINK I've been doing a decent job at balancing the "gets overwhelmed by things" wet cat side Crows see AND the "um actually he could kick your ass and can be a bitchy little shit" reality?? Mans is getting lots of moments where he's like "fuck this" and gets ready to Literally Fight God. There's still lots of tears, but like, if YOUR husband was in front of you covered in his own blood and lookin like he's rapidly wasting away in real time, you'd be an emotional wreck too. So I'm decently confident in his characterization, but I still have that "AAAAA I HOPE I'M DOING THIS RIGHT" worry. 100% gonna be clinging to comments from readers about if I did him justice. So far I've characterized everyone (Phil, Fit, Etoiles) super well according to readers. 😭🙏🏻 Hoping I keep up the streak with Missa in Chapter 3.
The discussion you've been having is exactly why I'm doing my best to do him actual justice. And I might actually read back through your posts and translate the Spanish bits just to get even more insight. I don't see enough people talking about qMissa like this.
And on a semi-related note, GOD I wish there were more YouTube clip compilations of Missa moments. Like idec if they're not just qsmp, I want more of them in general!! Idk if I just wasn't searching well enough or what but when I went looking a while back, there were MAYBE 2 videos at all, let alone Eng subtitled so I could understand them. And rooting through Tumblr for clips is a pain. 💀
Tldr thanks for talking abt this Rakk, this is exactly why I've been busting my ass trying to not write Missa reduced to one trait or the other. Tbh I've been seeking out proper analysis/understanding of qMissa even before I was writing him in a fic. Bc I KNOW what we Crows see is a fraction of his character.
ISAAAA you're doing God's work honestly, the "fights God through tears" is peak qmissa characterization akfknsjx
I do think we need more translated Missa content, sadly like the best thing you can get is qsmp clips translated or someone on twt decided to translate this one bit from his videos (like him having a crush on a pineapple)
it's sad that it doesn't get talked about how clever the guy is and while the fix is pretty easy (just getting more missasaurios to talk about him) it's just a case of bothering to translate stuff cuz that shit takes time and effort
as well as missa's miscaracterization not being talked about as much cuz a lot of the ppl who talk abt him are English crows who think he's a sopping wet cat<- i am BEGGING for people to unlearn this word it's making me insane
#ask tag#Isa-ghost#hi Isa thanks for reading my posts I maybe care alot about characterization and Canon and I also want my guy to get justice#qsmp missa
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Hey guuuuuys
As a heads up, I'm going to be converting this blog to be mostly my main/pokemon blog. I've been thinking about it for a while tbh and when it comes down to it, I've been feeling a huge disconnect from selfshipping as a whole for a while. It was nice and a great way for me to cope before I was able to get mental health care, but it's definitely more of a hobby now more than anything. Don't get me wrong, I still love my funky little gals and guys and it's fun to think about them in different scenarios! I'm still going to always lose my shit over Piers! But honestly? All of my "inserts" have basically come into their own, if that makes sense. They are not me. They may share a name with me sometimes but that's definitely an OC, that and I'm too lazy to rename the various Mandas and Jeannes across franchises cause that shit is a lot of work. And besides, literally everyone who has made a character has put some of themself into it and I know that I'm not wrong--
Now, what does this mean for me/the blog?
I'm still gonna post how I feel like posting. Things are going to be a lot less selfship focused. If anything, I'm leaning more on the side of oc x canon and oc x oc cause that's where I'm finding more enjoyment. No more fancy carrd with f/os and all that happy stuff, it's just going to be an about. No long ass dni honestly who the hell even takes the time to read them anymore (I mean, I do, but not the point I'm trying to make here). Granted my dni was never long in the first place but kgjwjdjejejjfayhs still. I'm still deciding if I'm going to go through the blogs I follow and trim things up. If I unfollow you, by no means is it anything against you and there are no hard feelings on my end. And if you'd like to unfollow me due to my focus shift, I encourage that.
Honestly over all, I haven't had a lot of energy to be publicly online in a while, anyway. It's what happens when you work full time, go to school part time, and have some mental disorders and a chronic illness that's been fucking you over since you were 2. The burnout is real lmao. I'd rather enjoy myself when I'm on tumblr than be all bleh, ya know?
I mean this when I say I did enjoy my time when I was selfship focused, but I think that part of my life is... Not quite behind me, but not a major part of my future anymore. In some aspects, it made my mental health worse, if I'm being honest, and I should have never let it get to that point. Granted that was before I was able to get diagnosed and start my mental health journey, but still. Should have stopped as soon as I felt myself not doing okay. I'm not going to dumb down or sugar coat myself anymore (granted I haven't been for a while but eh is what it is). I'm probably going to be leaving most servers I've been a part of and clean up my discord as well.
I'll still post self ship stuff here occasionally cause I mean, c'mon it's my blog I can do whatever the hell I want with it forever.
But I do think it's time to finally start finishing up this chapter. I'll forever and always be Amanda Pierswife though, you can pry this url from my cold, dead hands <3
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for skz or think decorating for Halloween would be the highlight of there year tbh. Like carving the pumpkins, putting up spider webs and buying masses amounts of candy would make them feel so giddy. Especially watching u hand out candy to the little kids dressed as ballerinas or pirates 🥹
stray kids on halloween
genre: headcanons; fluff, crack, general
warnings: cursing probably, not proofread
a/n: sorry, this should've come out in halloween night but DIDN'T. because tumblr decided not to post it when i queued it. anywaysss sincerest apologies. hope you can still enjoy this guys 😭
bangchan
wants a pretty chill halloween tbh
see cosy autumn traditions hcs to get some idea
he is open-minded when it comes to this holiday. he's fine jsut sitting back, staying at home and doing a movie marathon
but if you are a major halloween fanatic he can't help but indulge your obsession
because he freaking loves you, duh
once he finds out you're obsessed he wants to do everything. decorations, pumpkins, fancy-dress, the whole sha-bang
just to see that smile in your face <3333
minho
his fave holiday
other holidays, he really can't be bothered. but when halloween turns it's head around the corner, he's suddenly very alert
wants to dress up as a cat
would defo rock a chat noir outfit just saying
wants to look sexy for you 😘
let's you do his make-up
will not say know to couples costumes either, although he might protest at first
highkey wants to dress up his cats for halloween :(
changbin
defo loves halloween parties
would even ask you if you wanted to host one with him because he's down for that, and he's a good host!!
buys
buys LOTS of candy and makes sure everyone has their share
feeds you lots :] all the time!
very good with the kids who knock on the door for trick or treating
he just loves seeing them and compliments them in their outfits etc
overall, such a good vibe
hyunjin
locks the doors, closes the curtains, wraps himself in a blanket
he gets scared around this time of year ngl
people walking around at night banging on people's doors for sweets and shit MIND YOUR BUSINESS
likes the whole aesthetic of halloween and the creativity in some people's outfits but that's about it-
would much prefer stay indoors with you
but will do something artsy :)
likes carving pumpkins, it's quite satisfying for him, and he spends time putting intricate patterns in them
jisung
he's a scared-cat
but thinks halloween is fun so he's kind of a mixed bag
if you make him watch horror movies he's clinging to you the whole time
the type to jumo with his whole body and throw popcorn everywhere in the process
refers to stay in than go out on halloween
but if you both end up at a party, he wants to be the hottest person there and he's not settling for any less
not that he has any competition
felix
he thrives in the season
it's baking season for him!!
he spends the majority of his time in that kitchen
wants to make his own candies for the kids :D
candy apples!!!
cookies with spooky decorations on them!!!
i think his fave cookie design is a spiders web and he managed to perfect it over time so it looks really good
can't way to share his treats with the world and give everyone cavities 🥰
seungmin
unbothered
wants to eat all the candy for himself
would rather just go trick or treating with you instead of give candy to some random kids
because... more candy
so your adult-asses rock up to people's houses asking for sweets with your half-hearted costumes
i fully see seungmin wearing a white sheet and calling himself a ghost
you guys laugh most of the night - so it's more fun than he thought it would be
jeongin
halloween is like a 2nd april fools with him
he think he can get away with trickster shit just because it's 'the day'
the calender has allowed him to be this way and he's living for it
can and will prank them members and yourself
but let's you join in on all the fun
once the novelty wears off though, he gets kind of bored
if halloween is not about doing evil shit in a cape then what is it?
#abi's autumn asks 🍂#stray kids#skz#kpop#stray kids headcanons#skz headcanons#skz hcs#stray kids hcs#kpop headcanons#bangchan#chan#bang chan#lee know#lee minho#seungmin#kim seungmin#jeongin#yang jeongin#han jisung#han#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#seo changbin#changbin#lee felix#felix#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids fluff#stray kids reactions
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So I've finally finished Bloodhounds (+ ahjussi collection)
...and I have no idea where to start and what to say and how to feel.
No, wait, please hear me out.
It was b l o o d y and at parts a very difficult watch, as it has lots of explicit fighting scenes, which look extremely realistic and cruel. So cruel that I had to close my eyes and not watch, I even skipped many & i'm not sorry. However, there are also parts so heartwarming that it makes you forget about all the crimes and gore for a moment. So, it's up to you to decide if it's worth the struggle. Since the violence could be a bit too much for many, let's just say I do and don't recommend this one at the same time. Personally, one of things I greatly enjoyed is the subtle comic tone of Gun-woo's and Woo-jin's interactions with each other and their characters which represent people doing sports professionally so well, the purity of their hearts and lack of malice in everything they do, since they truly do live for the sports. Then there are two absolutely powerful and skillful young women, Hyeong-ju and Da-min, playing such important roles in the entire series, each of them individually contributing so much to the entire plan of bringing the bad guys down and saving what could still be saved. And also, one of the most enjoyable parts were definitely the bonds that came out of these newly formed friendships. Younger acting crew did an amazing job. In comparison to the older and experienced ahjussi crew (I'll get to them in a bit), they've got some serious talent. It must have been a huge undertake for both Woo Do-hwan and Lee Sang-yi to live up to the expectations of the entire team behind this drama. And they did it. They absolutelly slayed.
If you still haven't watched this drama, trust me when I say these two cinnamon rolls will instantly win your heart right at the beginning of the first episode. They're like the most perfect two besties you'd want to be besties with too. And yeah, you'll suffer thru all the horrors just to see them win the biggest battle of their lives. Gosh, every time I tried typing something coherent about them it just ended up being lots of crying shaking throwing up. They're the best, ok? And this is best I can do. ╥﹏╥
And while our marine boys scratched so many itches around this platform, I have to mention the absolute gentlemen that starred in this series and swept me off my feet *deepest sigh ever*
So many great actors took part in Bloodhounds, it's hard to believe my own eyes at times. Whoever was in charge of the casting did a killer job. I couldn't even take the bad guys seriously because they're freakishly handsome. Well, at least not until Kim Myung-gil brutally ended my favourite ahjussi trio damn you ep 6
What started as an obsession over two young marine guys and their bromance ended up as a hole in my heart over downfall of three middle aged criminals men and a will to trade all the money and gold bars for their lives. And more importantly, a huge appreciation for Korean actors over the age of 40.
No, let's be real. They're handsome and talented and great at their job and deserve all the love and support. With that in mind... here's a tiny screenshot dump because it would be a shame not to post it:
And I want to be normal about them and move on in peace but *internal screams* I've already mentioned Lee Hae-young in one of my earlier posts, addressing my obsession with the character he portrays, the sushi restaurant owner Hwang Yang-jung. And I know many people are obsessed with him too. But no one is speaking up. Which is silly. And tbh I really thought there would be more gifs of him and other men but...there's close to none? Can we talk about how fine this man is? How fine this whole ahjussi crew is? Can we... can we just acknowledge they sliced us all in tiniest pieces possible and burned us all till we turned into charcoal? Can we make a mess of kdrama side of tumblr by excessively posting about them? Pretty please?
It's true, I came for the boys, but stayed for these men. I'm not even joking when I say kdrama has me in a chokehold again, but this time for a whole new reason. Dropping everything just to watch series and movies these guys took part in sounds like the best idea at the moment. I even forgot about the new releases I started watching, which makes me laugh at myself, but... it is what it is. At some point, a girl just has to obsess over her favourite ahjussi, and that's okay.
#bloodhounds kdrama#bloodhounds netflix#bloodhounds#kdrama#woo dohwan#lee sang yi#heo joon ho#park sung woong#lee hae young#hwang yang jung#ryu soo young#ha soo ho#park hoon#jo wan ki#jo wan gi#kdrama recommendations#imsailorpluto#someone back me up here
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