#i legit usually only cry once a year or so

[foreverjola]

When I think about it a lot - marriage is forever. And a relationship is someone you have to consider *ALL* the time. Because you love them and therefore want to. I have people I consider. But no one to that extent. I can get up and leave and do what I want to a relative degree. But I'm also relatively lonely. I feel like I have no one truly close. Everyone has other people. I'm just an option for them. So in those times, a person sounds nice. A man. A Christian man. A Black man. An abstinent Black man. An abstinent Black man who doesn't want children. An abstinent Black man who doesn't want children who is within ten years of my age.

My pool must be infinitesimal, right?

But I only need one.

But The One is a myth, right?

[cherriegyuu]

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4skP1tuO6F/?igsh=MTNtamg3ZmM1aDgxbw==

Can u plssss make a husband mingyu fic of his daughter absolutely hating his haircut go from long to extremely short causing him to sulk and hate his own hair then y/n having to comfort him😭�� this video legit reminded me of this instantly idek how

i'm not supposed to be taking requests but this was just something that stuck to my mind ever since i read it. so here it is! i hope you like it! i'm also just in time for his birthday

when he cuts his hair

pairing: mingyu x fem!reader genre: fluff word count: 769 warnings: slightly suggestive not proofread

You did your best to contain your smile, or at least tried to hide it, as your daughter cried into your shoulder, her small tears soaking your shirt and her hands balled into tiny fists in your hair. Under normal circumstances, you’d have taken her hand away but in that moment, it seemed like the only option to have her calm down. 

Your husband sat on the couch, the blanket you kept on the back of it wrapped around his head and shoulder, as his eyes were two full moons in his face. Mingyu was a mixture of laughter and unwashed tears as he watched your daughter cry into you. 

“I didn’t know” his voice came out in a whine, his hold on the blanket tightening “I thought it would be okay”

Mingyu had left the house that morning saying “I’m going to cut hair, I’ll be right back”. He had kept his hair longer for almost a year and it was probably one of your daughter’s favorite things about him — that and also the fact that Mingyu even existed. “Not only does she look like you the most but she also loves you the most” you’d half-heartily complain sometimes. 

It became some sort of routine, if she fell asleep with Mingyu around, she’d most definitely have her hand in his hair. Logically and rationally you knew that Hanna wouldn't like the new haircut, but you also didn’t think that it would be that much of a big deal. What you also didn’t expect was for Mingyu to come back with the shortest hair you have ever seen on him. 

You had known Mingyu for roughly twelve years and he always kept his hair on the longer side. While the sight was a fantastic one, Hanna didn’t seem to share the same idea. 

She ran to the door excitedly the second she heard the sound of keys on the lock to greet her dad. She had the biggest smile on her face and then it just disappeared as she took in her dad’s new look. Her small features contorted and her eyes filled with tears and she ran back to you, hiding behind your legs.

Like he usually did, Mingyu kneeled to welcome the hug that always came but this time there was none. 

You wished you had recorded the whole thing, the way Hanna started to scream her lungs out because “not daddy” and Mingyu was a few seconds away from crying. 

“Hanna” you cooed “you don’t want to say hi to daddy? He missed while he was away”

She shook her head.

“Not daddy,” she said again, the new tears coming down her face.

It took you a good hour to get her to settle down and sleep. Her body still shook with sobs when you put her in bed. 

Mingyu was in the living room, in the same exact position as before, the blanket still wrapped around his head. His eyes were sort of lost until he finally seemed to notice you were back. Once again his eyes were filled with tears. 

“Babe, no, it’s fine,” you said, approaching him. 

When you were close enough he pulled you to him, hands around your waist and his head resting on your stomach. Slowly you pulled the blanket away from him and ran your hand over his hair. There wasn't a lot to hold onto, there was barely any hair in between your fingers, just a little more at the top for a quiff.

“She hates me now,” he complained.

There were these moments when it was hard to tell who was actually the 2 year old and who was the grown man.

“She doesn't, she just needs to get used to it. You're her favorite person” you assure him “She's just surprised. When you left there was hair in your head”

Mingyu groaned at your laugh.

“I just wanted to try something different”

You held his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. Mingyu rested his chin on your stomach, beautiful dark eyes looking back at you.

“Do you like it, at least?”

You bit your lips, trying to keep yourself from saying that maybe you didn’t like it as much, that your favorite hair was that middle ground between short and longer. 

“You look younger” your words were slow, a little careful.

He groaned, pretending to cry, his arms getting even tighter around you. 

“Both of you hate it”

You bent forward and placed a kiss on his nose and then his lips until his pout was replaced by a smile. 

“At least there’s a little bit to hold on to”

taglist: @wonwooz1, @mirtaspace, @feat-sun, @belladaises, @immabecreepin, @miriamxsworld, @aaniag, @byunparklimchoi, @k-drama-adict, @maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr, @roguesthetic, @sofix-hc7, @moonlightgrleric, @mixling-blog, @haowonbins, @valgracia, @slut4donghyuck, @muantuankim, @shuabby1994, @sukiscones, @plumings, @aaa-sia, @bouclesdefeu, @hyangg11, @sea-moon-star, @writingbarnes, @strawberryroseee, @lovely-ficsfor-me, @lixisoul99, @jjeongddol, @whoa-jo, @poiibbtt, @seokqt, @palmsugr

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[lastoneout]

I don't really know exactly why I'm posting this, I guess I just want to share my joy, but y'all...the nerve block worked. My migraine went down a little over the night so I was only at like a 1.5-2 but I swear to god the second they were done EVERY SINGLE PART of my head stopped hurting. The only pain I'm feeling rn is at the injection site and a smidge in my jaw, but that's not a huge deal bcs I know the steroids take a long time to do their thing and I usually have pain around the injection site when they do this in my back, plus I did already suspect something like 10% of my migraines aren't entirely due to my neck, but like...it worked. It fucking worked.

I've been living with chronic migraines my entire life, and in the last five years, they've gotten so bad that I can't work and have to cancel streams and hangouts with friends all the time. I have migraines more days than I don't and I've never been able to find out what my trigger is aside from not sleeping well and eating lays potato chips(rip I miss them so much) or gluten or being on my period?? and on some days I'm in so much pain I can't even feed myself or shower. 8-10 is the norm, they don't go lower on their own, they NEVER go away on their own, no matter how much time I spend lying in bed in the dark with icepacks on my face. My migraine rescue meds don't always work, or they work for a day and then it comes back, and I seem to be fucking Immune(tm) to Excedrin and ibuprofen. All that together has legit been ruining my entire life.

And I am not even a little ashamed to admit that once they were done and asked how I felt I broke down sobbing in the exam room because it WORKED. Instantly. Years of pain and agony and no help from my doctors, of blaming a medical condition that treatment hasn't fixed, telling me to limit screen time and lose weight, forcing me to try 50 different medications none of which help, of spending long nights in the ER hoping they can fix me even though it's typically a 50/50 chance....and now it's over. I don't have to do that anymore. They fixed it. They fixed it.

I'm crying right now as I write this. I never thought this was possible. Like I believed that it was my neck and my doctors agreed, but I was so worried that this would all be for nothing, I didn't think it would work, I know most disabled people dream of finding the One Thing that's causing all their problems even though most of us never do, but I guess luck decided to smile on me this day, this is what's causing my problems and it's treatable. It's over. I found the path out of this hell and it was the right one. I don't even know what to do, what to say. I'm so happy I can't even be happy, all I can do is cry because the hardest part is over.

There's still work to be done, but the path is clear. And honestly @ any gods that are listening, please grant this to my fellow disabled people. They deserve to feel this, we all do.

[createandconstruct]

Any dadmight headcanons?? 👀👉👈

An excuse to gush about dadmight?????? Anon...thank you so much 🥹

I don't even know how to organize these so I'm just gonna start??? (Under read more cause we kinda lost control?)

During those 10 months of training Izuku actually opened up a lot to All Might. Some of this is Toshi probing but it's also because for the first time Izuku actually feels like someone is really, truly listening to him

Toshi knows (but also infers because Izuku isn't one to point blame) the extent of the bullying and Bakugou's involvement in it, but Izuku made him promise not to do or say anything about it

Which yes Toshi kept his word but he also made sure the behavior was absolutely not continuing as Izuku promised it wasn't (cue Toshinori texting Izuku more frequently, eyeing him for injury a little more carefully during training, asking a few more questions about his day, and giving him a ride home even when Izuku insists he doesn't need it)

This, on top of answering Izuku's training questions for days they don't meet, actually opens the floodgates for them to start messaging each other quite frequently

Though Toshinori definitely prefers talking face to face or on a phone call. Case in point: he's horrible at responding. The first couple weeks of their messaging this stresses Izuku the fuck out because he follows hero news so he knows when All Might is out fighting so when the man isn't and isn't answering - well obviously Izuku screwed something up, All Might's annoyed, and Izuku's ruined the one single great thing he's ever gotten

What follows is a training session where Izuku is sullen and not at all as energetic as he usually is which prompts Toshi to so gently ask him what's wrong. It's so caring and sincere that Izuku crumbles stammering out apologies for bothering All Might with his over texting and Toshi is simply ?????? because he was convinced he had responded? And Izuku is just ?????? And they both look at their messages and then All Might is apologizing because he saw those messages and really thought he had texted Izuku back! And oh! It was a misunderstanding! Thank goodness! Training ends early as Izuku can't stop crying with relief. It leaves Toshi flailing a bit at the reaction and it's what really solidifies how easy to tears the kid actually is.

But this is what forces Toshi to realize he needs to get a little better at being a bit more prompt with his replies. He's a little out of practice considering the only person he's talked to in the last few years in Tsukauchi

Once Izuku starts UA they don't message each other as often since they pretty much see each other everyday but Izuku will sometimes send off a little report about how his day or a specific class went if he doesn't have heroics

Toshi is also very much an emote/emoji user and loves the thumbs up. Izuku loves it too because whenever Toshi sends one he can practically envision his hero throwing it up with a smile right there in front of him.

(Spoilers for the end of manga) I imagine that when Izuku graduates and starts attending university for teaching things slightly shift though and he is absolutely FLOODED by messages. Toshi steps back from teaching and actually takes time to enjoy his retirement. He travels quite a bit (in part because of the Iron Deku armor) but it barely even feels like he's gone for Izuku because legit Every. Free. Moment Toshinori is sending Izuku pictures and little updates from his trips

And the messages are a spectrum. Izuku either gets random photos with 0 context and no caption while he's in the middle of lecture OR Toshinori sends a picture with some silly caption or pun followed by an entire PARAGRAPH of what he's up to

And while the novelty of All Might texting him never truly wears off sometimes Izuku's so busy that he can't respond right away

There's a one time where Toshi, all the way across the Pacific, doesn't get a response (because Izuku has just stayed up all night writing a term paper like the good little college student he is) and (admittedly, a little selfishly, cause Toshi's allowed to be) he just sends Izuku a : (

Izuku wakes up, sees it, and is h o r r i f i e d

He sends a frantic apologetic message and Toshi calls him back laughing and telling him not worry. He tells Izuku to make it up to him by taking a break from studying to go out to eat with him once he's back in Japan

On the topic of traveling, Toshi also ALWAYS brings Izuku souvenirs back. The first few trips he gets little touristy items per the location and while Izuku is always happy and appreciative Toshi ends up going back to gifting rare, exclusive hero merch he sometimes finds (searches/pulls some strings for) because that's still the thing that makes Izuku beam and that's all Toshinori wants to do in his later years

And whenever Toshi is back home they spend quite a lot of time together. They'll see movies together, go out for food, and sometimes Izuku will drop by Toshi's place and just to do homework since it's quiet and they both appreciate the company. Izuku has even fall asleep a few times there and it always makes Toshinori all the more thankful he'd gotten a place with a guest room. One that is specifically tailored to Izuku's preferences mind you.

[boy-above]

hello my beloved followers i realized i haven't given a life update or really talked much lately so i shall now

my mom has officially moved out so it's just me and my dad now. things are honestly kind of nice because my mom has hoarding tendencies so our house was always full of shit we didn't need and all the clutter and mess everywhere was kind of oppressive. everything is so clean and organized now so i'm kind of enjoying it. but i feel bad for enjoying it because yknow, it's my mom and i miss my mom and i feel bad for finding positives. but also, my mom is doing a bad job hiding that she kind of resents me, i guess because i get to stay in the house and continue living the life she can't anymore. she keeps saying "your life isn't changing at all" as if she wishes my life Did change, like that i would get uprooted like she did, which i think is kind of a fucked up thing to wish for your child. she just seems angry that i haven't been falling to my knees crying in front of her over the whole thing; my whole life she's always judged me because i don't Perform Emotion the way she expects me to, ie she doesn't like my autism. i'm not someone who cries very much, i probably have a genuine cry maybe once every six months or even less. and i especially don't cry in front of people. but she can't fathom the idea of being sad without crying about it, so she's convinced i'm not sad at all about being separated from her and even said i was happy about it at one point which just pissed me off.

so tbh she kinda created a self fulfilling prophecy, i was sad about her leaving and my life changing like this, but as she started acting more and more resentful about it it's making me not miss her as much. and i mean, yeah, there's definitely stuff i'm not gonna fucking miss about her lmao. here's a list <3

• she has hoarding tendencies so no more clutter everywhere. everything now is so clean and organized, we actually have space in our house, especially in our dining room and basement. we could barely walk through our laundry room before.

• she would buy things in bulk and hoard them because they were on sale, ignoring that people less fortunate than us could have used those sales way more. all my friends know about the great 20 Sticks Of Butter In Our Fridge saga.

• she would buy things she knows we don't use because they're on sale, and when we didn't use them she'd still get mad about it. she accused me of wasting food constantly despite buying things i never asked for. i have ARFID on account of my autism so she knows there's only a few foods i eat but she would still buy foods she knows i wont eat and get mad about it anyway.

• NO MORE DIGGING THROUGH MY FUCKING TRASH. this woman used to dig through my trash because she's allergic to throwing things out. she would buy clear trash bags just so she could scan the garbage easily. the worst one was when i threw out some underwear because they were getting old and stained, and she bragged about taking them out of my trash and wearing them herself because they fit her, and scolded me for "wasting them". disgusting!! lmao!!

• no seriously this is genuinely freeing. i can throw things away now. i can donate things i dont want. i dont have to vet every fucking item with my mom before it leaves this house. because usually what would happen is that she'd say "i can sell this, i'm going to put it in the yard sale" and then it would be in our house for a decade longer because it wouldn't sell in any yard sale we had. like there's legit stuff in her yard sale stash that i wanted to get rid of 15 years ago and she's just held on to because surely this will be the year she gets five dollars for it! surely!

• no more becoming enraged if i have the nerve to lock the door because she thinks she's entitled to access to me 24/7. i would say no more barging in without knocking, but she still does that every time she comes over to our house anyway 🙃

• no more eating my stuff. like this isn't as bad as the others but it always pissed me off when i'd ask for a pie or something similar and i'd get one piece and the next day it would be gone. she would say i "wasn't eating it" and say how she Had to eat it because it would have gone to waste if she didn't. she doesn't understand that normal people don't eat an entire pie in one sitting, so she really will just eat my whole fucking pie and then tell me i was gonna waste it because i didn't inhale it all at once. and yes she would do this on my birthday with cakes and the like as well. eat my whole fucking birthday cake 🙃

there's a lot more i could get into, i had a whole post a while back about how sexually inappropriate she was with us as children so i'm always going to have resentment towards her for that, but i wont get into that right now.

ANYWAY yeah ive just been adjusting to living alone with my dad and it's honestly been pretty good. and i hate to say this but i think it would have sucked a lot more to live only with my mom. in fact i kinda think it would have been a nightmare. the reason i stayed with my dad was because he kept the house, and i refuse to move out of this house lol. it does make me feel bad that i haven't visited with my mom very much but like i said her acting like kind of a bitch about the whole thing is not helping her case here.

besides uhhhhhh all of that, i've been doing not very great. i've been feeling really lonely, i crave attention from strangers that i'm never gonna get, and ive been trying to draw but it feels kinda pointless because i know not many people will care. it doesn't help that i have ajawnich brainrot but none of my friends like them so i can't really talk about them 🥲 i'm currently drawing my pookies and trying to have a "this is for me" attitude but it does make me sad rip. i've also been struggling with things like personal hygiene and keeping my room clean, it's an absolute mess right now and it's stressing me out just looking at it. i've at least had fun playing infinity nikki lately and i think perhaps i should post about it here more.

anyway uhhhhh i love you guys thanks for sticking around, i've been losing followers lately bc i'm annoying so thanks to all those that are still here

[hualianff]

Hua Laoshi II 《I》

Hua Laoshi often brings in baked goods his husband made. He stands by the doorway and as students are entering, handing sweets out individually while smiling:  “good luck on this exam, kids” 😌😌

HC definitely flames his students every five minutes - in good nature, of course - and continues his lectures like nothing happened. His deadpan is so good that newer students find themselves chuckling out of nervousness more than anything. 

HC’s students catch him chewing on his pens and pencils, leaving wacky indents on the ends. 

One student: “Hua laoshi, how does your husband stand a house with spit-covered pens?”

Everyone laughs.

HC doesn’t react, instead drawling out: “Careful, I’m still the one grading your final exams.”

Everyone immediately snaps their mouths shut, eyes wide with regret. 

HC then smirks as he uses his teeth to put the cap back on the pen. 

A seasoned trickster, that one. 

(On a different occasion, during an in-class writing assignment, the distinct sound of teeth gnawing against plastic clicks in the quiet classroom. Another student tries their hand at poking fun at Hua laoshi’s interesting habit.

Student: “sounds like you don’t have enough to eat at home” 

HC, without missing a beat: “and sounds like you don’t want an A for this course”

Everyone else in their heads: “damn, he’s good”)

But once you get familiar with Hua Laoshi’s character, the playful sarcasm is easier to detect.

The best is when HC makes a roast that’s so ridiculous, his deadpan slips, and the corners of his lips begin to twitch. Which usually only happens when he’s clowning He Laoshi…the professor Hua Laoshi is supposedly closest with? Ha.

***

HC smiling down on his phone minutes before class.

Student: “Hua laoshi, you shouldn’t be using your phone during class~~”

HC, who was definitely texting XL: “I- ZIP IT.”

***

But seriously, the contrast between how students perceived HC at the beginning of the year compared to the end is drastic. From fearing for their academic life to legit crying at the fact that the class is over and they won’t have Hua Laoshi next time. 

HC asking for course evaluations like: “but yeahhh, if there’s not a big turnout and the reviews aren’t that good, I might leave and find another job idk” :/

Students: “WHAT UNACCEPTABLE”

Of course, HC receives very high ratings. Many students request his letters of recommendation too, which are personal and beautifully written. 

In turn, HC actually receives many thank you letters at the end of his courses. Thanking him for accommodating special circumstances, for encouraging the balance of school and mental health, and for teaching such an excellent class.

A couple of them are even harmless crush confessions always signed with “ok but i also love laoshi’s husband so i get it” 

XL always cracks up when HC shows him those letters. 

XL, tapping HC’s chin: “that’s why I put a ring on you”

HC’s eye dilates, and he visibly swallows.

HC: “Gege should list all the things he loves about me too.”

XL: “like my vows?” (The vows that definitely made HC cry.)

HC places his elbows on the counter and innocently rests his chin on his clasped hands. The answer is clearly “yes please, my dear husband.”

XL: “San Lang is fishing for compliments, I see. But that’s okay-“ He places his hands on HC’s cheeks. “I always have compliments for my husband.”

HC: ;) 

***

HC waking up at 7:00 AM for his 8:30 AM class…

Just imagine HC groaning and burying his face into his pillow, shirtless and flat on his stomach-

And XL comes around to pat his bum: “Up, San Lang, up”

HC: “ugh don’t wanna go, fuck them kids”

XL, patting HC’s arm: “you love those kids and you know it. Come on, I made you breakfast and coffee.”

***

XL traveling out of the country for work and HC being like “missing gege everyday :((( “

No husband to tell HC to come to bed after staying up until ungodly hours to grade.

XL over the phone: “what else are you doing besides work?”

HC: “…waiting for you to come back home”

XL: “oh, baby…” 🥺)

HC’s students can tell he’s not his usual self. Not like sad, but a little bored? Like, dimmed of his usual mischievous light. And more…tired.

HC has his bad days too, but then it’s worse if his best friend/partner isn’t there.

Then a week later, HC sends an email with the subject line being: “no class, losers!” and the email basically saying, “gotta pick my husband up from the airport” 😈

***

Anniversary day !! 

Aka, Hualian ice skating.

But HC’s long ass legs have the balance equivalent of a newborn baby deer. It’s even the sixth or seventh time XL has taken him on an ice-skating date and HC’s sense of balance is still somehow absolute shit.

It’s just that HC can’t for the life of him make it three steps before doing the obnoxious falling act of the century all over again. And HC will be damned if he keeps falling flat on his ass, holding XL up for the nth time.

So cue Hualian skating with XL’s hand around HC’s waist :) HC muttering curses under his breath every time his left foot decides to be goofy for a hot sec, but luckily, XL helps keep him on his feet. ❤️

(HC: “Gege I’m gonna romance you so fucking hard you won’t know what hit you” 

XL: 🤣🤣 “I look forward to it”

And then HC ends up falling flat on his back.

HC: “fuck I think I pulled something”

XL: “baby, we didn’t even make it to the bedroom “ 😭)

***

Reminder that HC has his and XL’s wedding photos on his desk!!

***

Think about HC coming back home from work in his formal attire and XL pouncing on him as soon as he enters. The sound of XL unbuttoning HC’s shirt, placing kisses along HC’s neck, down his chest, and then getting down to unbuckle HC’s belt-

All while HC is a bit disoriented but thoroughly enjoying the welcome home 🫶🏼

Thirty minutes later…

HC: “something smells like it’s burning”

XL, sprinting to the kitchen: “MY SOUP!”

That soup is not only burnt, but it’s also solid by now…

XL: “eagerness gets you nowhere” 😭😭

HC: “idk about you, but I felt like I had enough soup already”

XL, pointing to the pot on the stove: “SAN LANG THAT WAS OUR DINNER” 😡😡

HC: [pikachu meme] “you’re the one who jumped me”

XL: [puffed out cheeks] “I can’t help it, you looked so good…”

HC: “ok how about you go shower and I’ll cook us something new :) “

XL: “nooo” :((( “I was supposed to make dinner tonight and then I RUINED it 😭”

HC: …

HC: “what if we…order takeout?”

XL: :0

XL: :)

XL: “fantastic idea, dear husband of mine” 😇

***

Throughout their years together, HC and XL have managed to create such a safe space that differs from what everyone thinks is normal in a relationship. Thus, HC would give the best dating advice. 

It would be in the secrecy of his office hours and if a student was really curious about what they should do in their own relationship/situation, they can consult in HC and boom, great advice from a happily married man.

“Even if I think it’s something small, I’ve learned to bring it up to Xie Lian. Cause he’s the type of person who would rather you tell him what’s bothering you instead of figuring it out some other way.”

“And we’re a team, so we work to figure out a solution together.”

“He’s my best friend, my partner, my husband - whatever, you name it. My biggest supporter. It takes effort on both ends to ensure we’re there for each other in the way that we need, to keep our relationship functioning and thriving.”

HC after rambling for 10 minutes: “Oop I’ve said too much”

Student: “nope, that was perfect” *has been blessed by Hua laoshi’s words of wisdom*

Also the student:

*sneakily wipes a tear cause how can two people love each other that much*

“write that down write that down”

“how could Hua laoshi think he deserves anything less 😭😭 Hua laoshi deserves everything ofc”

Student: “adopt me pls”

HC: “no u already got a momma and baba”

Student: “I have a mama who's a saint and daddy issues to last a lifetime”

HC: “well shit, you’re just like me fr”

***

HC updating XL because he’s a little late getting home and also just thinks it’s nice to share. But while HC is casually talking about what he said to his student, XL is staring at him with the most tender expression ever.

It takes a while for HC to notice, he pauses and asks, “is something wrong?”

XL simply shakes his head, eyes crinkling. “You’re just…amazing. You’re really making a difference in their lives, you know?”

HC shifts his gaze away nervously, but his ears noticeably redden. XL wants to kiss him silly.

Words aren't enough to describe how much XL loves his husband. 🥺

“It’s not a huge deal-”

A hand covers HC’s mouth, gently cutting him off. 

“Believe me. The world is a better place with you in it, San Lang.”

HC merely grunts in response. XL huffs out a laugh, reaching his other hand up to fondle with HC’s left ear. The two lean forward on instinct, resting their foreheads together.

“You are so precious, so precious to me,” XL breathes out.

HC’s expression softens in a way it only does in front of XL, and XL silently thanks whatever higher power there is that brought him the most wonderful human to love. 

***

w/ @no-one-says-hi 

[sykylarksky]

Last year, I did a favor for my younger sister.

I agreed to watch her dog and give said dog her meds while my sister focused on her other dog, who was undergoing cancer treatment at the time.

I, like every other responsible adult in existence, still had to go to work.

Did I make sure to get Rubi her pills twice a day? Of course. It wasn't a perfect 12 hours apart, but it was as close as I could with the hours I worked.

I made the mistake of telling my sister that I would be:

30 minutes late

To give the dog her anti-seziure meds.

She blew up at me, accused me of being lazy, told me she didn't care if I had to leave work in the middle of the day, under no uncertain circumstances was I to give the dog her meds at the wrong time.

We exchanged words, me telling her that that's not how employment works, and since I was not my own boss like she was as a professional pet sitter, I definitely couldn't get there at exactly 9pm.

She continued to insult my profession and workplace ethics.

So I thought to myself:

ENOUGH

This was just the latest in a long line of insults and confrontation between us that usually ended with me in tears and deep self-loathing.

I finally realized that she was toxic for me, and I couldn't bear to have her in my life anymore.

I blocked her phone number and resolved to not speak to her again until she got her shit together.

The next day she proceeds to drag my poor nephew into it, telling me lies designed to specifically hurt me by saying he didn't love me anymore, that I was such a garbage human that my nephew suddenly changed his entire opinion of me.

I had plans with my then 13-year-old nephew to go to the movies together that I had been hoping she would be mature enough to let him go to, but she proved me wrong.

It was painful, and once again, she had used her poisonous tongue to get under my skin like she knew she could do.

I struggled with my mental health that night, came the closest I had to making another attempt on my life since the last time, over 10 years ago.

So for the last year, I've had her phone, and her husband's phone blocked fron making calls or texts to me.

Now the reason this is relevant is that today she just called our mom a bitch for wanting to keep my nephew over for Friday night.

She was gonna play golf with him during the day (their family activity together, they bond over a shared love) and would return him to their apartment the next day. My sister is on a pet-sitting stay in the next town over, an hour long trip, and it would just be more convenient for him to stay with her.

Now, last week, my mother bought my sister a new car from her friend who was selling her gently used suv. She paid 15k for it and helped my sister sell her old car, which was on its last legs, for a grand total of 1k (It was legit falling apart, over 20 years old).

But was my sister grateful at all? No, she demanded the 1k as soon as possible.

She said such awful things to mom on that phone call.

Mom was practically in tears afterward, and she's a strong woman who I've only seen crying at deaths in the family.

They are now not speaking, and my poor nephew is once again caught in the crossfire.

I don't know how the situation is gonna develop, but I fear for all of our mental health.

Send me luck, cause I'm gonna need it.

[frannyzooey]

If you had any advice for someone new to posting fics, what would it be?

I am absolutely jaw dropped, crying on the floor in love with your writing, and it’s inspired me to start writing again. I’m sure you hear that all the time, lol.

But I’m so anxious about putting work out there, and the idea that it may not be liked, or even seen. Which, like, is hard because I know no one owes me anything! and there are so many incredible writers out there! I guess what I’m trying to say is - what is the best way to become a part of the community, and not the creeper breathing breath on the glass window looking into the party?

You’re genuinely so kind to all of your followers and readers, I would just love to pick your brain a little!

Thank you for everything you give to us. 🫶🏻

FIRST - get over here and tuck yourself under my arm ❤ feel the squeeze I am giving you, in both welcome and reassurance! ❤

This ask couldn't be better timed because I was literally just having a conversation with @astroboots today about how I feel like tumblr is a safe space for sharing my writing, but I am absolutely petrified about sharing it any other place. The thought of even talking about my writing out loud makes me want to curl up and hide my face, and even on this platform, I still get anxious sometimes. The Dinner, recently, was a good example of that - I was beyond nervous to post that one.

All this to say: you are not alone ❤

This fandom can be utterly terrifying because of the 1) sheer amount of talent but more so, 2) the sheer amount of content. It's being constantly created, even more with Pedro becoming bigger these days and it's so fucking intimidating even thinking about tossing your fic into the literal OCEAN that exists.

On one hand, an argument could be made that it's actually easier to post because of those reasons, but it's also legit anxiety producing in many, many ways.

The thing that I always say about writing is: find your people. Reach out to people you admire through reblogs, send them asks, pop into their DMs. Share and spread their work, their art, their gifs. Find one or two or ten that seem like they would vibe with you and connect! Because once you have your people in your corner, cheering you on, it becomes fun to post thinking about them reading it.

Instead of thinking of this place like the ocean, think of your curated corner like a little tide pool and your mutuals like little cheerleading starfishes. It's so much easier to share things when you know they will be accepted and supported by people, so start there! You're right in that no one owes you anything, but I am a HUGE supporter of not only writing for yourself, but writing for the seven (7) targeted people you love the most. The ones you know are going to scream in your DMs about it, the ones who helped you brainstorm, the ones who beta read and held you on their shoulders for a lap of victory after you hit post. THOSE people are who you post for (in addition to yourself.)

I (frequently) get pretty freaked out about the size of this fandom and get anxiety when it comes to the rapid upload of content - if you've ever seen me put on my "Out of Office", that's usually why...but thinking of this place as a condensed little bubble can really help ❤

That's exactly how I did it, and how I continue to do it! When I posted my first piece of writing EVER three years ago, I had 8 followers and one serious friend on here. ONE. But that ONE person gave me all the hype I needed to share, and even though my hands were shaking when I hit post, I was.....okay, because I knew they were there with open arms, ready to receive it. ❤

Second, we are ALL the creeper breathing on the glass, looking into the party - every single one of us. I can go on and on (and on and on, seriously, I have so many thoughts on this) about how this is a social media site and how that affects you psychologically for hours, but I don't want to bore you, lol. The best part about there being so many of us though is that...there are so many of us! You are bound to find your people. ❤

If you are scared, DM me. I would love nothing more than to cheer you on. This place has been such a safe haven for me, the only way I can even begin to pay that back is to pass it on.

OH - and EXCUSE YOU, I do not have people telling me that all the time! Holy shit?? I wish you could have been the soft ass look on my face when I got this ask, because that's just about the nicest thing someone has ever said to me, literally. I could kiss you on the mouth. Me? Inspiring you? I am BLUSHING.

Squeezing you EVEN TIGHTER AS I TALKED - do you feel the love, nonnie? 😍❤🥰 Congrats on beginning writing again - I am so FUCKING proud of you and WELCOME!!

[doueverwonder]

This is going to be SO disorganized, ignore me and my rambles no order just everything in whatever order I think of it in.

TEXAS his name is Lázaro Carlos Jones-Gómez, he regularly goes by Charlie, you can call him Carlos but do not call him Lazaro, he only has that name bc he was baptized with it. If you call him that though you will get his attention immediately bc his brain will think you're his mother (Mex if that's not clear) cause she is the only one who calls him that.

He's a little shit and I love him bc he's my little shit.

I accept no interpretation of him that's white bc why would you do that to him.

I've said this before but he's twins with Coahuila (Mariana Talía) who I can't actually talk about that much bc she's not my oc BUT she is older by 7 minutes, and they share a braincell and a half and usually don’t know where it is :\

speaking of other states he and Nuevo León (Jacobo) get in no less then 3 fist fights a year for absolutely no reason besides they’re idiots and like to beat each other up.

Speaking of fights, Charlie is missing a tooth, has 101 stories of how it got knocked out, most ppl don’t actually know which one is the truth (none of them he fell out of a tree).

Someone take his guitar away I beg, he gets 10 time more annoying when he has it. Which Tennessee (Annabelle) taught him how to play said guitar, everyone hates her for it. He's a decent player, and has a pretty okay singing voice, they're all just sick of listening to him.

Bc I have to have at least 1 very stereotypical thing, he has the largest cowboy hat collection this side of the Mississippi. Give him the most specific event, he has a hat for it.

He didn't talk till he was like 3-4 but oh boy is my man making up for it now, he doesn't stop. Talks with food in his mouth and in his sleep.

Refuses to speak Spanish to most other personifications bc spite but will absolutely be interpreter for any stranger on the street who needs help.

Bc I think it's funny gets to have the 'am I catholic or protestant?' debate.

His first about year of living in DC he barely spoke English and bc of that attached himself to the--at the time--only other native Spanish speaker in the house, Florida complained to Al everyday bc "I'm a babysitter now!" but wouldn't say shit to her Carlito over it ever.

His favorite shows of all time--despite their inaccuracies--are Gunsmoke (1955-75), and Zorro (1957-59)

Speaking of nicknames; Carlito was his main nickname for a long time, used to distinguish him from Cuba. Most of Latin America + Florida still call him that. Carlos = Cuba//Carlito = Texas. He started going by Charlie bc he didn't want to be called Carlito anymore, but being called Carlos felt weird bc no one ever called him that. So Charlie.

He has vitiligo bc I once saw a drawing of someones oc and it legit looked just like how I imagine Charlie and their oc had vitiligo so it just got pressed into my mind.

Also he was one of those kids who was super blond but by the time he was like 12 he wasn't anymore.

So y'all know my hc is personifications have a mom and dad, most of the states (US and Mexican) had 2 human parents and were eventually 'adopted' by Alfred or Rosa.

There are exceptions to that and Coahuila and Texas are one of them, way back when like 1820s Rosa (Mex) and Alfred were dumb and did a thing proceeded to have an extremely panicked nine months and an even more panicked "holy shit there's TWO"

So Charlie gets such a super fun family dynamic we love it for him.

I can't listen to Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys without crying now bc of him. I love Charlie, he is my son, I've put so much work into him bc I love him.

[kierrasreads]

Tales from the cafe by Toshikazu Kawaguchi Review

SPOILERS AHEAD

Plot

In a small back alley in Tokyo, there is a café which has been serving carefully brewed coffee for more than 100 years. But this coffee shop offers its customers a unique experience: the chance to travel back in time....

From the author of Before the Coffee Gets Cold comes a story of four new customers, each of whom is hoping to take advantage of Cafe Funiculi Funicula's time-travelling offer.

Among some faces that will be familiar to listeners of Kawaguchi's previous novel, we will be introduced to:

The man who goes back to see his best friend who died 22 years ago,

The son who was unable to attend his own mother’s funeral,

The man who travelled to see the girl who he could not marry,

The old detective who never gave his wife that gift....

This beautiful, simple tale tells the story of people who must face up to their past in order to move on with their lives. Kawaguchi once again invites the listener to ask themselves: what would you change if you could travel back in time?

Discussion

This book actually made me cry. While all of the stories were sad, "Married Couple" got to me the most. Not only do we see Kiyoshi travel back in time and talk with Kazu's mother, we learn that Kazu is pregnant. We also learn more about Kazu's tragic backstory. I legit cried when Kazu finally allows herself to be happy and her mother's ghost vanishes, seemingly to move on once she knows that her daughter has finally let go of the guilt that she's been carrying for over 20 years.

When I read "Kazu's spring has just begun," I had to set the book down and process the array of emotions that I was experiencing at that moment. I honestly relate to Kazu; I'm still grieving the death of my beloved aunt, who tragically passed away two years ago this May. For a while, I just felt numb and went about with business as usual: going to class, doing homework, and going to work teaching first graders how to use blocks of ten to figure out math problems or teaching college students how to use semicolons and how to correctly cite an article using APA 7th edition. I refused to confront my grief until one day, I allowed myself to face my feelings and begin the slow process of healing. I know that I sound like a walking cliche, allowing myself to actually feel something, but until you go through those stages of grief, you won't understand. Yukio is another demonstration of the guilt that's always chained to grief; he does turn his life around, reinstating the adage "it's never too late to start over."

Kawaguchi sensei's writing style is beautiful, with a few awkward bumps along the way. I'm not sure if that's tied to a translation issue or if Kawaguchi sensei did that purposefully. Regardless, his poignant writing style strikes an emotional cord. Through his use of third-person omniscient, the reader feels what the amateur time travelers are feeling.

There are some content warnings, so I'm listing them here:

D*ath

Grief

Loss of parent

Miscarriage

Cancer

S*icidal thoughts/s*icide mentioned

I cannot emphasize this enough, you need to read this series. My next review will be on Before Your Memory Fades, the third book of this series. I just know that it'll be as good as its predecessors.

Rating

5/5

[zanarkandfayth]

15 Questions

I was tagged by @ivorydice, thanks!

Tagging just... whoever. I don’t feel well and I don’t wanna think lmao

1. Are you named after anyone?

Well, I took "fayth" from Final Fantasy X because I adore the fayth so much and to me it's a gender neutral name. It started out combined with zanarkandfayth as a username idek when, late 2000s, and then just gradually evolved into me calling myself fayth. My legal name, no. My first name was apparently just easy for my dad to spell and my middle name is french because my mom likes the language. I hate both names and they can fuck off lol.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhhh... I have a hard time crying these days even though I want to. Almost did last night because surgery recovery has been a bitch, does that count?

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. Don't want them. I'm not even capable of taking care of myself, why would I want to be responsible for another human being? And I did not win the gene lottery and the world sucks, I'm not inflicting this miserable existence on someone else.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Yes, though less than I used to because even sarcasm is effort and I'm tired.

5. What sports do you/have you played?

I liked basketball as a kid, and baseball, though I wasn't any good at either. I used to like to run. Uuuh I also did taekwondo as a kid for a couple years? idk if a martial art counts as a sport though.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

Hair... idk it's usually the most noticeable thing to me. Except that guy who came through my line at DT once who was about seven feet tall, I definitely noticed his height first.

7. Eye colour?

Mine? Boring brown. Will forever hate it.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. I used to like/not mind scary movies when I was younger, but now I need the feel good chemicals. Also I don't watch movies anymore. Legit could not name the last movie I've watched at this point.

9. Any special talents?

Making my readers cry lmao. No, idk. What's considered special? What's considered a talent? I don't want to stand out.

10. Where were you born?

Southern US, the same miserable state I exist in now, good ole Tennessee, though I'm now at the opposite end of it from where I was born/grew up. It's worse on this end for sure.

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing, video games, cooking... I'd say reading but I don't do that as much as I used to. The guilt of not having the energy to comment on fics gets to me and so I just don't read at all instead :/

12. Do you have any pets?

A shithead named Max. He's a flamepoint siamese cat that an old neighbour rescued from where he'd been abandoned on the side of the road and me and my ex ended up taking him in. My ex named him (after mad max apparently and I hate his name lol) but he attached himself to me so when I kicked the ex out a couple years later for being an abusive cheating narcissistic asshole, Max stayed with me. He turned ten this May but he still zooms around the house like a kitten. I love him but my health problems have made it increasingly hard to take care of him so he's going to be my last cat.

13. How tall are you?

5'2, forever sobbing

14. Favourite subject in school?

English was the only one I really enjoyed just because it was so easy. When I did university for the third time (the one I actually graduated from lmao), I also really liked most of my sociology classes, enough to make it a second degree, and I liked my scottish history class. If I could afford a third degree it'd probably be in history.

15. Dream job?

At this point? Nothing. Being a stay at home husband (with no kids, yes), or being an eternal university student just taking classes and getting degrees for the heck of it would be my ideal. I would also like to try my hand at making my own video game, but a) I can't art for shit, and b) chronic fatigue makes even starting on learning coding too daunting. I don't even have the energy I want for my current hobbies.

[steamedtangerine]

A confirmation!

I started my Tumblr blog nearly 6 years ago (before the terrible cataclysm known by the refugees dwelling in the outer hills as THE BAN), and I did not hide the fact I posted NSFW content among the quirky, squinky stuff I had to share (so, if there are any under 18 hormone larvae lurking my account, I must ask you politely to POUND SAND! Beat it! Go play stickball or rob a bank or something equally productive.).

The close of 2018 cast a terrible shroud over Tumblr. For the year and half time I was on here (so far-not including the years I randomly lurked and kept holding the site up to different viewable angles to get a better grasp of what I was witnessing-I mean, I only became computer interactive back in 2010), I never once saw anything illegal. I did report one account claiming to be from Eastern Europe (that was reblogging my Silent Hill posts), that kept posting images of a shirtless boy that he claimed would come to his house to “have some fun”.

Nudity was being allowed on Pinterest and Flickr, and yet, no talk of Fosta Sesta was being applied to them. Could this be that Tumblr was purchased by the conservative corporation Verizon (home to Trump picks Ajit Pai and William Barr) in an attempt to squash the unanimous talk of Net Neutrality  that Tumblr championed (remember when that was a very BIG topic here on Tumblr?) by chasing off all us deviants who also picked on Trump and Kavanaugh and killer cops?....so, they thought.

Many of us persevered. We endured Rittenhouse trolls (oddly enough, only during the trial and no time before when the impact of the ugly murderous matter was fresh in the public’s mind), the insurrection, and Russian trolls trying to steer folks away from supporting sanctions. Pornbots still lingered in an attempt to frame smut alongside with RW politics (a complete abstraction from the years of Al Goldstein  and Larry Flynt), despite the fact that many archived accounts on Tumbex showed that many smut-loving accounts with a good eye for iconic and ironic content also were very left-leaning with every political matter that developed.

The issue of “Tumblr alternatives” came up (the point of this post), and many of them seemed too good to be true. One promised a well-moderated “Tumblr alternative” that would not allow Nazis. It was NewTumbl.

 After waiting to see if it endured, I set up an NT account before COVID. I already noticed it was a far cry from the pre-ban Tumblr: hentai was very absent, any of the usual Devainart fare that dominated pre-ban Tumblr (with fetishes ranging from furries to inflation to morphs, etc.) was nonexistent, noone was identifying actresses/models/performers, hashtags were scant, there was no creative or abstract use of images or gifs that had a self-conscious ironic take on smut in general, social interaction was nil, vintage was scant, original content died on the vine, even established accounts like the famous retro-fucking gave up after four months.

What was on the site was a lot of cruddy porn....bad, bad, bad stuff. Ugly, geriatric amateurs and people screeching “Gooner/sissy/”reblog if you....’” nonsense. There were also a lot of highly unimaginative caption posts and really bad incest fantasies. It seemed like someone wanted to troll the site....but even the usual telltale signs of 4Chan’s influence was absent from this swamp. The whole site seemed artificial and very removed from anything legitimately erotic online.

Yet, I tried to push on. My account was naturally above board. I posted vintage, ethnic, celebs, interracial, some gay, size fun, punk, public....but most of all, I did my research and made sure to list names of actresses/models (I learned the hard way, that even legit celebrities featured in mainstream movies and publications does not mean that they were “legit” at the time-that’s why it’s good to research between sites like VEF, namethatpornstar, Reddit, etc.-so, DO THE RESEARCH!) and hashtag things)....all this along with my goofy gifs, political posts, Steamables, and slack-driven content-which all pretty much was DOA from the getgo there. I was getting over five blank accounts following me daily (Dean-the supposed creator of NT-told folks not to block blank accounts, which was....odd). I noticed that the front page of NT defaulted to BS boomer MAGA crap. In fact, a lot of the RW crap on there was supported by the same insular fake crowd. Then I started noticing reposts....fake RW accounts would take rare content from me and others to pad their crap set-ups.

It got worse.

I started seeing material of questionable content. If it wasn’t straight-up “88″ Nazi shit, it was heavy drug use (ie. “slam”), bestiality, or it was gratuitous race-subjugation blogs (something absent even from pre-ban Tumblr). Then I started seeing models who seemed way too young. I started to report them; then such account activity disappeared. I thought it was just an ugly wave of some agency trying to shutdown the site.....buuuut they came back later...even heavier. Certain legit blogs were calling out the problem. I took to reporting more and more accounts, and I got the feeling that some blogs that were sent in to exclusively “follow me” were throwaways testing to see if I would report their underage content and single me out as a whistle-blower. I considered getting off the platform.....but before I could, I was banned.....never given a definite reason why....just removed permanently. No appeal. Nothing.

In the aftermath, II found at least three posts on Reddit with lots of users complaining explicitly in consistent detail the very same thing that happened to them. They were legit, longterm accounts that never posted underage content, and they had gay material and/or frequently reported the bad stuff (Nazis, pedos, etc.) flooding in. We all brainstormed on what was the gross angle of that site, and why the pedo crap persisted, despite the reportings, and we were the ones getting the boot.

Wanting to shake out that pebble in my shoe, I decided to open another NT account under a different email. Anything I did there is gone. All hastags I had are gone. I found many accounts I trusted are gone. I found Askthecrankyfairy was still around, but his last three posts for April are odd. In the first was one listing accounts that went MIA....many of them LGBT contributors. The last two laid out in full detail what had been going on at NT since October. Basically they were an appeal for any remaining folks to leave that site for good. They outlined everything from the issue with reposts to the failed reporting of underage crap to the removal of legit accounts to the MAGA dominating front page to the Nazi crap.

Yet, the most suspicious fact to surface is how some folks tried to be moderators to remove the bad stuff, and they were denied. The very accounts that were designated by staff as moderators were posting the very bad illegal stuff that banned accounts had reported (as many found out). Basically, the foxes (or pedobears) took over the security of the henhouse and were wrecking it with their garbage!!

BOTTOM LINE: I take it as a great honor to have been removed from such a horrible shitsite as NewTumbl.

....it’s just a shame there was never a decent “alternative” to Tumblr, and now that Imgur has removed NSFW content and Tumbex is having issues (again), there is a concern of where to find a decent image host site and what the landscape of NSFW material might be in the next few years. One thing is for sure, any loss to NewTumbl will go unnoticed, have zero impact on the world, and would be for the overall best.

[daddyd0nt]

Growing up and even in college even after I started dating B a lot of guy friends told me some variation of “I’ve considered/fantasized about pulling some shit but I respect u too much” which I always thought was their way of telling me when we got too close that they thought I was too ugly to ever love romantically but like the way they treated me compared to the way they treated/talked about the girls they fucked/dated or like even when I started dating B and was declared sexually unavailable the way they treated me compared to single girls is really fucked up in retrospect.

I think the most startling example of this is a friend who came on to me pretty heavily first semester of freshman year. He was a nice kid and cute and I still love the guy he was a great friend we were literally Ana buddies for 3 years I went to visit him once during a break freshman year and we smoked cigs dipped in PCP and coke like he gave me for the first time on Valentine’s Day and flipped an abandoned rusted out smart car off a pier and watched it sink. he was never creepy he was a gentleman to me and treated me like a friend and a person. I was told by every girl I knew that the first time u have sex is painful and awful and you cry and bleed and was terrified (which is why I compromised with blow jobs so often when I felt like the situation might not go well for me if I all out refused a sexual advance). I had been SA’d the summer after my first year of HS but it had been brief and shallow enough that my hymen didn’t tear and it hurt bad enough that I pushed him away from me and threatened to scream and he stopped so I was legit petrified about losing it for real.

So my plan was I’d get black out fucked up and it might not hurt as much/I might not remember it if it was as bad as everybody said. I got obliterated on klonopin and malt liquor with this kid and asked him to walk me back to my dorm and we smoked in the rain and then asked him up to my room and he came with me. I knew his porn habits and had heard from a few girls who slept with him that he was a rough fuck and I figured I wanted to do it with him because it was a better chance that he wouldn’t get turned off if I couldn’t mask how afraid and in pain I was (I learned to encourage sadism in my male partners because if they were acting scary and violent I didn’t have to hide the fact that hooking up was scary and painful at worst they didn’t care and at best they just thought it was part of some kind of spice play-acting). So I pretty much told him I wanted to lose my virginity and since he’d never been with a virgin and expressed it was a fantasy I said I was down. He said he couldn’t “take that kind of power over me” because he loved me too much. He then listed a few girls we knew that he’d slept with and what their horrible flaws were that made it okay to fuck them. We fell asleep holding each other on my dorm mattress with his boner pressed into my thigh and never talked about it again.

Like I think a lot of men not only don’t have sex to express love but see sex as a primarily violent/degrading act. Girls grow up hearing we are only supposed to fuck if we are in true love, where men are conditioned to view the same act through a lease of dominance especially when it comes to casual sex. Even a lot of the sex I had with girls I didn’t want to have sex bc I liked sex I used it as social currency when it wasn’t just self harm. Like with males usually the worse and more traumatic and not-okay the encounter the more I like not liked it in that I was turned on but I guess I’d say it made me more okay with it when it didn’t feel like a choice I’d made because as long as I didn’t complain and stayed chill with the guy and treated it as a hookup I was able to translate the experience to social capital.

[kattythingz]

My most favoritest wife ever….. 💘💡💛🔮

Dearest husband, you flatterer 🤭 If I must.....

💘 - is it easier to write angst or fluff?

Years ago, I would've confidently answered with "FLUFF ALL THE WAY BABY." Buuuut my preference has changed a lot since then, and I don't write nearly as much plotless fluff as I used to. More and more I've found myself really getting into writing emotional scenes, especially crying ones. That being said, fluff is still ingrained into my writing roots, so it's def easier compared to angst. One day, though... one day angst will come to me like breathing. Then it's OVER for y'all bitches.

💡- how many WIPs do you currently have?

Counting just my "active" ones... five. Hoping to knock that number down to four before this month ends tho 👀

💛 - what is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

Everything you learned in high school is bullshit.

Grammar, "said is dead", set paragraph lengths, all those rules about whether or not you need commas before words like too, anyway, and either—ALL OF IT'S BULLSHIT. The more you write, the more you'll learn that grammar is one flexible bitch. But you also need to strike a good balance! You can't nullify EVERY grammar rule ever or that'll lead to some messy ass writing and become so obv it's distracting, BUT. BUT. You also shouldn't constrain yourself to dumb shit like "sound effects need to be in single quotes". ALWAYS ASK WHY. AND ABOVE ALL DO YOUR RESEARCH.

Once you understand the rules, you can break them very tastefully. And readers will notice ;)

🔮 - any advice for writers working through burnout or writer’s block?

See, for actual, legit burnout, as much as I wanna embellish some fancy solution of just "working at your own pace!!"—that's kinda bullshit lmao. Real burnout will kick your ass, and I cannot stress enough how forcing yourself through it will only make it so much fucking worse (speaking from unfortunate experience). HOWEVER, if it's simply a lack of motivation, that's a different issue! Lack of motivation can be from growing bored of an idea, lacking an outline/direction, feeling unsatisfied with the story, or just general exhaustion from the idea tbh.

My recent solution has been to put down the current idea bumming me out and switching to the "sillier" ideas I've kept on the back burner. That au you love but nobody else cares about? WORK ON IT! Write a long or short fic or make that art or anything. Just invest your brain into a different idea that tickles you and have fun!

That tends to get the gears going again, and USUALLY leads to returning to your old wip with renewed vigor. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and whatnot.

Hope these help!!

[wateryourfuckingplants]

This is legit so true

There was a bunch of shit going on and while getting where we were going I tripped and hurt my hand (no gonna get into detail about it in case anyone is sensitive), all I'm gonna say is there was blood and it hurt and I was in shock

So I was just sitting there in shock, the person with me sitting down making sure I was okay

After a minute or two this person walked by and kinda looked to see what's going on, my expectation being they were just weirded out or staring bc that's what people do.

Instead, once they actually came closer (we were kind of in front of the driveway to the building they lived in) asked if I was okay and if I needed anything

I said I'm fine, but then they offered to get some band aids from their apartment

I said that would be great

They came back down a couple minutes later with a whole bunch, like five and applied one for me.

While I'm usually uncomfortable with that, there was no uncomfortable lingering. They were just very careful and only made soft contact where it was necessary for the band aid to stick

They gave me the band aids, I thanked them and they went back in

Once I'd gotten over my shock I was basically crying because that was an amount of care that not even my family had shown me

All that is to say that you never know how the smallest action can brighten someone's day. It really turned a very stressful and bad day into a not so bad one

It happened like 5 months ago and I'm sure I'll remember it for years to come

Whatever they're doing, I only wish them the best

If you’ve had a period of basically dissociating from a hard time of your life, you’ll know that doing even the littlest thing that has an effect in the real world vs on a screen can be so profound. Something as little as you doing a favor for someone, or someone noticing something about you that you didn’t think anyone would even pick up on bc your brain is all messed up about being perceived. Your living footprint is all muddied and murky. It takes a lot to even feel like you’re inhibiting your body. So consequences that come as a direct result of you just living, whether big or small, blow you away on an inexplicable level

[unreadpoppy]

I’m gonna start tagging as like journey when I talk about stuff related to me and things I perceive about myself since I was diagnosed as autistic + ADHD. Anyways I want to talk about the senses. From I noticed in what bothers me about each sense.

Touch: I this one I don’t struggle a lot with, but I can depending on what it is.I don’t like being touched by strangers or having contact not initiated by me when I’m with people I don’t know that well, but I’m super okay and appreciate contact from people I’m close with (family and besties). When it comes to things considered more romantic (like kisses, or the usual hand on thigh, waist, etc) I will short wire, mostly because I’m not used to being touched that way, but it’s not something I don’t welcome (unless is if it is with someone I don’t like). Good thing is with those touches I am able to express like “hey tone it down” or “it’s fine if you touch me here”. Not the biggest fan of hand holding and for god’s sake do not touch my shoulders and specially, do not hold my neck. Seriously I have having ANYTHING close to my neck. I’m only welcoming necklaces on my life again cause now I can ask my mom to take the pingent and put it on a longer cord. Also even if I do like rings, I’m not much of a fan of wearing them and I don’t like bracelets (or even tying hair ties around my wrist). Earrings are the best. There’s a few texture I don’t like touching but they don’t bother me that much to be honest. Also hate the feeling of things on my face, which is why I don’t wear makeup, I don’t use my glasses as much as I should and why masks where a terror to me. If something on my face is bothering me, I’ll feel an uncontrollable “itch” on my forehead.

Taste: Definetly where I’m most sensitive. if I have a problem with texture, it’s definety with food. I can handle not so great but familiar tasting food but if the texture is off, I. just. Cant. Also foods that are too flavorful (idk how to explain this better) I can’t handle ( legit the reason I don’t eat pizza is because of the tomato sauce, it’s too strong for me). I can tell by just a small bite if I will like something or not, which is why I told my parents to not try and fool me by changing how they make my food because I will notice it.

Smell: Another sense that doesn’t interfere much. Usually a small needs to be really strong for me to feel like, so if you only sprayed perfume once, I likely won’t notice unless I get really close. Bad smells usually at easier for me to smell and they can make me real nauseous. Once I passed close to a small place that made crepes with Nutella in it and the smell was so strong and not to my liking that I legit got nauseous right away.

Sight: Really depends on the day. Some days the light is too bright and other it’s just fine, though walking in the sun without sunglasses often hurt (doesn’t help I got green eyes tbh). Mostly what can bother me is too much movement if I’m static. Like, just this year, the two times I remember getting sensory overload was when I was just standing normally and there was someone constantly moving next to me, it irritated me very quickly. Bright colors don’t bother me much. I do struggle sometimes with flashing lights and if there’s light when I’m trying to sleep. If I’m too tired, it won’t really matter, but if I’m just trying to fall asleep, I will like press something around my eyes so I can sleep (I used to have an eye mask but I lost it).

Sound: This one is slightly complicated. Loud noises don’t bother me like, like at all. So loud music in an open space, the continuous sound of heavy rajn and the sound of my AC or vent working don’t bother me. However, it’s the small continuous and non-rhythmic sounds that bother me. So water leaks are my terror, as well as cricket sounds. I can legit loose sleep if these types of sounds are around me and I will get frustrated and cry (which means that yes, the water leak falling in the bucket in my ceiling is driving me nuts. Good thing is that the sound of the AC is loud enough to cover it). Sudden loud noises, like a buzz going off, also bother me and I cannot have any sound going on if I’m trying to sleep, so putting music to sleep if a big no no to me. Seriously, it’s like I’ll close my eyes and I’ll even feel relaxed but as long as the music plays, I feel like I can’t actually fall asleep (it has happened on rate occasions where I was sleep deprived and other sounds were bothering me). Also I hate ASMR, it makes my skin crawl and makes me want to tear my skin away, seriously I hate it so much. Nowadays it doesn’t help much, but a few years ago, I listened to a lot of classical music while reading and it helped a lot with concentration.