#i legit feel like the last crumbs in the bowl | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

abiteofnat · 4 years ago

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If you’re reading this, I’m coming back to Chicago, beetch

The non-existent rumors are true. After a brief 10-month exit from the city to soak up the fresh air and social distance-friendly suburbs, I am now returning to Chicago as a single, slightly more anxious version of myself. While I’m still trying to kick some of the anxiety and OCD that COVID-19 pushed from “lifelong tagalongs” to “all-controlling demons”, I feel 97% ready to be back where I feel most myself, and cannot wait to welcome that change. While that 3% still makes me a little uncomfy and hesitant, I’m a believer in pushing your boundaries to allow yourself to grow, and also, I am really sick of suburbs food.

Ha! I joke. I wouldn’t move downtown simply for access to more diverse & higher quality food... or would I? All I know is while there are plenty of gems in the North Shore, I’ve eaten take out from all of them ten times over, and I did not foster my dislike of cooking out of nowhere. My parents do not enjoy cooking, my sister pretends to enjoy cooking, and I will cook if it is 5 ingredients or less. My latest speciality is a toasted bagel with butter, hummus, and EBTB seasoning. Voila. So when it comes to dinner, we are living off of a carousel of suburban favorites, and are losing steam as we are still not comfortable with dining inside (or dining inside in the city, where the fun food is).

All of this to say, it’s exciting to imagine what life is going to be like in a few short weeks. While I’m still extra precautionary, I can’t wait to have my own space downtown, where I can enjoy coffee on my little balcony (!!!) and dream of the days friends can come squeeze into my studio safely while I lay out an entire table of sharable spreads and snacks from Ema (Charred Eggplant Spread is the best one, don’t fight me).

So you may ask, how did you come to this decision to move to the heart of downtown out of seemingly nowhere, you hermit?

It starts with my mom and I having a brief, simultaneous breakdown and coming to the conclusion that we would both feel comfortable doing a staycation downtown, as long as we wore masks, sanitized always, and braved the cold to eat outside. This was big for me! As a person with real OCD, not cute TV show “I have to keep my pens straight” OCD, this would be the most exposure I’d had to a lot of uncontrollable variables since the pandemic started. If you’re thinking, “you get to spend a weekend downtown in a hotel with your mom, shut up”, know that I hear you. I am unbelievably grateful that I’ve gotten this time with my parents, and that we can do a staycation. However, having anxiety comes at a cost, and that cost is blowing everything way the fuck out of proportion instead of being able to rationalize it sometimes. Let’s! Normalize! Having! This! Discussion!

So, we went downtown in early March for a two-night stay, and oh my goodness. The realization that we got to be in a different space, and do different things, and eat different food for a weekend made it feel like a legit vacation, and not like we drove 30 minutes to get there. The view from our room was of Michigan Ave, and hearing the traffic and seeing the people out and about instantly made me feel a sense of peace I wasn’t expecting. I’ve lived downtown for 6 years, but it always shocks me how much the city feels like an extension of me once I’m in it after being away. My mom and I went out for a walk (gentle yet forceful reminder to please wear a mask), then decided to grab dinner while we were out. The plan was to bring it back to the room, but there was a warm spell, and there just happened to be a table for two at Topolobampo on Clark, and suddenly we were sitting on the patio under the lights eating masa quesadillas dipped in a spicy salsa verde. It just happened!!!

Before getting downtown, I was tentatively looking at apartments for the spring. I was looking at Lincoln Park, Old Town, maybe Lakeview, and came across a listing in the Gold Cost that caught my eye. That one was swiped out from under me within days, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the area. Then I discovered another unit that was available, and couldn’t shake it from my mind. Over mushroom tacos I discussed it with my mom, and we decided to go see it. Totally not what I had been planning for in terms of location, but why not?

Once we polished off breakfast the next morning (Eggs Benedict with fried eggs, extra hollandaise) we headed out to see the place. Let me say I have never seen my mom fall in love with a single apartment I’ve lived in, and she was ALL. FOR. IT. Unreal reaction on her part. Once I saw the west-facing views and the incredible natural lighting, I was 100% in as well.

We spent the rest of the weekend wandering the downtown area, enjoying another dinner outside at The Gwen and my mom’s first visit to the Starbucks Reserve Roastery, which was 95% more empty than I’ve ever seen it given we went in a pandemic at 8:30PM. Shit on Starbucks all you want, but that Roastery is an incredible use of space (in non-pandemic times) and the coffee & Princi pastries are really, really good.

When we got back home feeling refreshed and like we had actually gone on a vacation, I jumped into apartment shark mode real fast and signed as many documents as the very kind realtor could send over. One week later, whabaam, I was a Gold Coast girl. Ahem, *lady*. What better way to celebrate than going to Somerset and having the Rapini & Roasted Garlic Flatbread and Wild Mushroom Risotto? No clue. As I sat outside, yet again with my mom, I felt a wave of excitement come over me and realized, this is it. This is the sign and feeling I’ve been waiting for, telling me it’s time to move back to the city and start over. The creamy, herbacious risotto also helped solidify that.

SO. After all of that, the news is I’m moving, and you’re probably wondering why I shared all of this on a blog about food. I meant for this post to be about everywhere I ate during my staycation, but realized quickly we ate at some very basic places - DELICIOUS, but still basic. Oops. Below are all the dishes I had and a rundown of the flavors, textures, etc., however don’t expect to find any new, revolutionary restaurants. Sorry!

1. Topolobampo

This Rick Bayless restaurant has been around forever, and unfortunately, you can tell by the interior. We’ve eaten here as a family a couple of times before, but never had a noteworthy experience. I can confirm that in a pinch, the patio covered in fun lights & mini piñatas, and the sharable, filling bites will do just fine. This was my first time going to a Mexican restaurant as a non-alcohol drinker, and instead of my typical mezcal margarita, I opted for a Fresh Limeaide which was refreshing and flavorful. We split the Guacamole and Chips, which if you’ve ever stopped at the Frontera in O’Hare, you know is good as fuck. It’s smooth, creamy, tangy, and topped with chopped onions and cilantro for a little crunch. It’s not the most life-changing, but it is consistently satisfying. Next, we got the Mushroom Tacos and Masa Quesadillas. The Masa Quesadillas were a fun surprise, as instead of a tortilla, the masa is what makes up the outside. They are almost like empanadas and stuffed with gooey, melty cheese, and come with a spicy salsa verde on the side. I would come back for these alone - they’re rich yet light, warm, and comforting, all the things you would want when dining outside when it’s still a little chilly. The Mushroom Tacos were quite frankly unreal, because whatever they seasoned the mushroom slices with and grilled them on made them taste unlike any mushroom I’ve had before. There was definitely some meat crossover on the grill, so don’t order those if you’re vegan, or ask them to prepare the mushroom separately. I however was LOSING MY MIND. Over mushrooms. The joys of being vegetarian!

2. The Gwen

On a happening Saturday night in Chicago, Upstairs at The Gwen is sure to be a packed scene. Located in River North, this hotel bar/restaurant offers a somehow cozy rooftop filled with loungey couches, fire pits, and ambient lighting, even though you’re surrounded by apartments and skyscrapers and there is nothing “cozy” about River North. Every table was filled, yet since you’re outside and it’s fairy spread apart, it still felt safe. I got my new classic, a Lemonade, and we got the Burrata to start. With sourdough, roasted beets, squash, pomegranate, pistachio, & arugula, this plate was nothing short of mouth-watering. It has textures! It has flavors! It has pomegranate seeds, the TikTok must have of the moment! The bread was 10/10, the burrata was 8/10, and all of the toppings made for a very find bite of salad on their own. For my main I got the Lobster Fettucine, a beautiful bowl of ��charcoal fettuccine with saffron-tomato sauce, lobster, calabrian chili butter, and basil-brioche crumbs” as listed on their website. Take any of those ingredients and it’s going to be delicious, but all of them TOGETHER? INCREDIBLE. The chunks of lobster were huge, absolutely making the dish worth its price tag, and the sauce was flavorful, unique, and unlike any sauce I’ve tasted in the last few years. It’s typical to do a squid ink pasta with seafood and tomato sauce, but the saffron added a new element I very much appreciated.

3. The Starbucks Roastery

I KNOW. THIS IS A TOURIST DESTINATION. All I am saying is if there’s no line, go get an iced latte with two packets of sugar in the raw. That’s all. It’s really good after something like, I don’t know, Lobster Fettucine.

4. The Penninsula

You cannot go wrong with hitting up The Penninsula for breakfast or brunch, especially if you are staying there and have the option to do room service. Typically we would go to Pierrot Gourmet, the cafe in the ground floor of The Penninsula, however it has been closed temporarily. If there’s one thing to order with your breakfast, it’s the smashed fingerling potatoes. Delish.

5. Somerset

Somerset is becoming a quick go-to of mine for an impromptu dinner downtown, given it’s in the heart of Gold Coast and is cute if you’re sitting indoors or outdoors. The food is nothing too innovative, but it is done well, which is the most important part with “cuter” restaurants that may focus on the Instagram appeal over the food sometimes. Each time I’ve gone I’ve gotten the seasonal flatbread and a pasta or risotto, usually something with mushrooms, and it’s always been plate-licking good. To drink, I got -you guessed it- a Lemonade! For dinner I went with the Wild Mushroom Risotto which was everything you could hope for in a risotto, topped with olive oil, herbs, and local parmesan. We split the Rapini & Roasted Garlic Flatbread which was as it sounds, flatbread covered in rapini, garlic, and ricotta, which added a nice crunch and had enough rapini to feel like it was replacing a boring vegetable side dish or salad. The patio vibes were wonderful, the judgemental girls in the greenhouses looked like they were having a good time, and our waiter couldn’t have been sweeter. I will be going back to try the Fontina Arancini, which I just noticed on the menu. FRICK.

So there you have it, a very long-winded explanation of the last few weeks of my life and where you can find me on a staycation in Chicago. Hopefully once I move back to the city I’ll have endless new spots to try and won’t be basic anymore!

Until next time, Happy Eating!

-Natalie

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elizabeth-234 · 4 years ago

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The Hourglass

Previous Chapter Thirteen: Trust in me

Happy Monday. This completes day thirteen of whumptober: breathe in and breathe out. Enjoy!

Chapter Fourteen: Moments in Time

“Say hello to your new guardians.”

Peter pulled down the sleeves of his shirt and gave a withered glance at Tony who greeted them with a smirk in the lobby of the hospital. He ignored the flip in his stomach. This was a different Tony All that mattered was finding the truth and if he was a bit giddy from escaping the hospital, well, he wasn’t going to complain.

“Hell, Tony. You work fast when you want to.”   

“What can I say,” He said saddling up to them and throwing his arms around each of their shoulders. “I’m the kind of person who can…”  

“Stuff it?” Rhodey added helpfully.

“Fuck off?” Peter said to which Rhodey laughed.

“I can offer my support and guidance to this wrecked youth in need. You imbeciles. It’s not too late to take you back.” He said with a side eye at Peter as Rhodey and him continued to laugh together.

“We have to keep him. I mean he looks so good in the plaid and all.” Rhodey shoved them all so they wobbled over each other’s legs and barely missing the spinning doors. Peter remained squished between them the whole trip to the car. His cheeks hurt from smiling.

Unlike so many years ago they arrived at the apartment with the gloom of impending doom. Though he still had a flash of apprehension, this time was fresh. He almost expected to see the door split in two on the floor and broken kitchen table, but there wasn’t a single scuff mark or dented piece of furniture in sight. Not even the fabric of the couch, less faded green than he remembered, was worn from use.

At the hospital it was difficult to believe the he had time traveled but the apartment it was obvious. The rubber pile in the corner turned out to be a clear inflatable seat with glitter. Behind it was a sturdier, more expensive looking chair pushed into the corner. The influence of Rhodey and Tony and their youth, he assumed, was abundant. He often wondered how long they lived in this space.

They settled around the table Peter had last seen in pieces. He grabbed the cups out of the cupboard to pour water.

“What?” He said as he set them down on the table. They eyed each other before Rhodey spoke.

“How did you know that’s where the cups were?”

Peter looked down at the table clenching his fists in his lap. “Oh, uh, well. That’s just how it was at my house and I assumed the same here. It’s a fairly common cupboard design about 45 percent of people have the cups to the left of the stove.”   

They stared at him and shared another look. Peter watched as Rhodey shrugged.

“Alright.” Tony said clapping his hands to gather them around. “I need to fill you in on the cover story and just make sure everything’s okay with you. This is not an actual kidnapping no matter what my compatriot says.”   

“You thought it sounded cool as well.” Rhodey crossed his arms in front of him.

“Of course, it sounds cooler. Anyway, I want to preface this by saying I can undo any of this if you want. You also don’t have to sign them now, although if someone comes sniffing around it would be better.”

He shifted through the stack of papers laid out on the table and began describing the plan. Tony hadn’t been joking when he mentioned guardians earlier. The guardianship, as far as he could tell from reading through the papers was as legit as his driver’s license. Peter signed his name wondering how legal this all was. Tony was putting the papers away in a matter of minutes.

When he asked how everything wrapped up so quickly Tony said: “I’m rich, kid, and money buys this type of stuff way too easy to be okay with but it does have its advantages. Case in point here.”  

“You were right to be worried. The CPS was looking for you. Along with…”  Someone kicked Peter under the table.

“Ow!”

“Oops that was meant for Rhodey.”  

“Ow, damn Tony.”

The two devolved into bickering from there and Peter never learned what Rhodey was going to say.

The brush moved up and down the wall. It repeated the same motion over and over leaving a trail of evidence on the vertical surface until it dried. He knew what room would be his before they walked him down the hall. There was the bed and dresser but was void of all the decorations that had been hanging when Peter lived there before.

“We’ve just never gotten around to decorating. So, it’s up to you, honestly I couldn’t care less so go all out.”

Peter requested blue paint and bedspread but gave no more direction than that. All three of them dressed in old t-shirts so the painting would go quicker. Peter’s thoughts wandered after the first wall. With every new stroke of paint, he wondered how and if he was changing the future. The possibilities confronted him with every decision no matter the size. He could be changing everything. The time space continuum could be irrevocably destroyed by him eating a bowl of Wheaties in the morning. Not that the apartment was stocked with any healthy cereal.

The worst aspect was the secret voice in his mind that wanted to change everything. He wanted to storm out and never return to the apartment. He longed to stay wrapped up in his new comforter and never leave. He wanted to go see May. Longed to stare at her smile and wrap his arms around him. Would she recognize him somehow in the deepest parts of her? Would their connection transcend time and reality? What was the right choice?

The answer scared him.

The impossibility of the situation was precisely why he was staying inside the apartment as much as he could. This afternoon was paint day.

“Why the long face, Peter?” 

“Go away Tony.”  

“Well, he’s got a point. You look like you wanted to paint it with lavender and we wouldn’t let you. I knew that lilac would’ve been perfect.”   

“Shut it, Rhodey.” He said with a reluctant smile. Tony stepped toward him and with a flick of his wrist, pointed the paint brush at him. Peter wiped his sleeve along his chin.

“Point to you, Honey Bear. I need to step up my game.”  

“What-what do you mean?” Peter dipped his paintbrush into the pot, making sure to wipe one side off before dabbing it into the corner of the wall.

“We’ve got a small bet going to see who can make you smile more. Believe me, kid. It’s harder than it looks. Here I thought I was king of moody but you might take the cake.”

They gave each other high-fives as Peter deadpanned. He should be mad they were betting about him. They were laughing and he agreed, it was ridiculous. Their attempts were absurd and stranger still, it was working. Tony rubbed in the point he won from Peter’s smile. Before he could celebrate Peter jabbed him with the paintbrush staining his shirt with a blue dot. He turned to Rhodey and with some extra strength and a precision throw launched the paintbrush at him.

Both exclaimed and an all-out war ensued.

The room was painted… eventually.

The paint never came out of their clothes.

None of them cared that much.

“Did you hear that our esteemed guest. It’s movie night, although I wouldn’t get too excited because it’s Tony’s turn to pick.

“You guys watch without me, I’m not feeling it.”  

Peter found out within days of living with their younger versions that Tony was right. He was the king of moody and he was wearing the crown tonight. Only with the promise of cookies and popcorn had he emerged from his room wrapped snug in one of his blankets. Tony snatched the cookie tin away from Rhodey and, with crumbs on his mouth, refused to watch any movie his friend suggested.

“But we didn’t celebrate Christmas Tones. Pllleeease.”

“You know I don’t like it.”   

They sat, arms crossed, staring at each other. Peter shifted his weight between them. He was on his way to make popcorn at Rhodey’s request but Tony’s refusal had put a stop to the plans. He risked a glance at Tony who was still staring daggers at his friend.

May and Ben had seen how Peter struggled with the holidays in the beginning years of living with them. While they never forced cheer on him, they created traditions Peter could find a sense of newness in. Instead of baking gingerbread cookies, they cooked pfeffernusse. Rather than hanging stockings, their faux fireplace was lined with t-shirts they decorated and sewed up at the bottom. Sometimes Christmas wasn’t about Christmas as much as it was about just being with people. Peter had an idea. It just so happened to involve a movie he’d watched with them twenty-five years into the future.

“How about we watch some good old classic horror films. House of Dracula?”

The suggestion was unfair in some ways because he knew Tony only watched horror movies during the holidays. Their conversation at the hospital shed some light on the reason why he refused to watch family films at this time of year. Peter decided not to question if this was a previous tradition or if he was the one to introduce it.

Two hours later found Rhodey snoring – heavy breathing, he insisted – on the couch. Peter and Tony carried the empty dishes into the kitchen. Peter began washing and Tony leaned against the island counter, water in hand.

“Hey, Peter?” Tony handed him the glass but didn’t move away from his side.

“Hmm?”  

“How did you know I liked to watch horror movies?” Peter froze for a moment and began scrubbing again. He forced himself to laugh.

“I didn’t. I picked something not Christmassy but still a movie so Rhodey would be happy.”  

Tony hummed. “You’re a strange kid. You know that?”

“So I’ve been told.” He scrubbed harder.

“You know I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Do I? I don’t know you. Not really. I don’t think I ever did.” The frustration was hot on the back of his neck. Peter rinsed the brush and began scrubbing anew. “Why do you watch horror movies at Christmas anyway?”

Tony contemplated his words. Timed slowed in that moment. The water dribbled down his wrist and into the sleeve of his sweatshirt, Tony’s foot tapped against the cabinet, and the snores from Rhodey wafted into the room. Finally, he stopped tapping his foot and turned toward Peter.

“It was something my mom and I did. I, uh, didn’t get along with my dad and used to get scared too easily. We would watch them together to conquer that fear I had. It’s stupid but I just never associated Christmas with Christmas growing up.”  

“It’s not stupid and, if it means anything, I understand. When I lived with my aunt and uncle we never really celebrated in a traditional sense. I’m sorry I snapped.”

Tony shrugged. “It’s nothing I didn’t deserve. I’m trying not to push but I am me so bear with it while I practice.”  

Peter chuckled. Tony had no idea how pushy he was sometimes.

Peter choose the wrong one.

It was such a small detail; one he barely noticed was absent on his second introduction to the apartment. Tony had given him a magazine and instructed him to pick any phone he wanted for the living room. He dropped it on Peter’s desk and hurried off not answering his questions about what happened to the last one. Peter gathered from Rhodey that someone, he wasn’t going to snitch, had thrown it out the window.

Yes, out their multistoried apartment window.

Peter flipped through it and then he’d seen the one. It was so cool complete with clear plastic and these colored innards. The neon fidgets inside would move when you were on the phone convinced him so he’d ordered it without a second thought.

It wasn’t until he awoke in the middle of the night sweat soaked through his shirt that he remembered. He stumbled to the office and rummaged through the papers in hopes of finding the receipt. Of all the times for someone to organize.

Damn it.

The phone in the future wasn’t clear with neon accents. It was a hamburger. The phone was in the shape of a hamburger. Would this food shaped communication device be the difference between life and death?

He didn’t know.

It was his fault.

He backed up into the hallway until his back hit the wall.

Peter barely noticed the shaking of his hands but could feel the pins and needles of each breath he took. His breath stalled and built up the pressure in his chest begging to escape out. His fingers tingled. Peter lost track of time.

“Breathe in and breathe out.”

“We’re here… sitting right beside you, Peter.”

“You are here in our apartment. You are Peter Parker. I’m Rhodey. That’s Tony and we are going to be okay.”  

Peter came back to himself in slow increments. His back was pressed against the wall. There was cramp in his legs from curling them up to his chest. He stiffened and then relaxed. Two bodies were pressed against each of his shoulders. His head was bent up, resting on Rhodey’s shoulder and his hand was tucked into Tony’s palm between their bodies on the floor.

He didn’t remember his mission or how angry he’d been. All he could think about was the fact he might have ruined it all. He might have taken their future away and it was all his fault. What would happen if he ever went back to the future and these solid presences were no more all because he made a mistake?

Rhodey shifted in his sleep. Peter’s head fell more fully on his shoulder. He breathed in the minty scent and some of the anger he dragged back with him from the future chipped off his heart. Did the truth matter from the future when the Tony and Rhodey from here and now were beside him, comforting him?

Peter closed his eyes and slept.

Thank you!

Next Chapter Fifteen: Down Once More

#whumptober 2020 #whumptober2020 #no. 13 #breathe in and breathe out #breathe in #peter parker #rhodey #james rhodes #tony stark #marvel #avengers #spider man #fic #fanfic #ao3 #AU #time travel #avengers AU

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pongpalace · 7 years ago

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@omgcpwinterextravaganza | december 1; gift exchange

spreadsheets to make it easy [ao3]

unbeta’d and late as is usual (~4200 words)

Justin isn’t sure what he expects when he clicks on an email with the subject Adopt a Child for the Holidays! , but he’s not that surprised when the link inside brings him to the homepage of a local orphanage. He’s more surprised than he’d like to admit outside of his own head when it’s a link for donating a holiday present to a child rather than actually adopting a kid for the holiday month, but he blames that on the fact that he’s been in a youtube spiral since he got home from work at lunch and has apparently forgotten how to think for himself.

He eats the sandwich he made for dinner one handed while he skims through the page, looking at the pictures of kids of all ages decked out in holiday reds and greens and blues and whites, smiling or making faces at the camera. The captions on the photos say that they were taken from last year’s party, the first time the orphanage was able to do a holiday party, if the captions are to be believed and Justin hasn’t accidentally opened a virus again by clicking on a link from an unknown source. He doesn’t remember giving out his email address to any orphanages, but then again Holster never remembers his own email address half the time so he uses Justin’s to sign up for things. At least if this is clickbait, it’s probably Holster’s fault time.

The more he clicks through the tabs though, the more Justin thinks this is probably a legit orphanage looking for donations in order to make sure they can purchase enough gifts for the kids who will be there through the holiday season. He’s staring at the bright red ADOPT-A-CHILD button that’s been on the side of every page when Holster kicks open the front door of their apartment.

“Hey, fuck daylight savings,” Holster says in lieu of a greeting. It comes out a little muffled; he’s got a scarf wrapped around the bottom half of his face to fight the wind, but he shucks that off easily enough and throws it on top of the chair they’ve been using as a coat stand since the weather’s turned cold. His jacket goes on top of it. Justin would be more annoyed if they weren’t the same size in outerwear and wore each other’s interchangeably. Holster continues, “It’s like barely 6pm and it feels like midnight, I hate it.” He kicks his shoes at the wall, letting them fall on top of Justin’s neatly placed shoes. That actually annoys him so he glares at Holster until he bends and fixes them.

“And it’s dark and cold, and I had to talk to Margaret about her daughter for fucking ever,” Holster continues talking all the while he passes the kitchen and goes into his room to change out of his work clothes.

“I thought she moved to the third floor?” Ransom asks. He doesn’t bother raising his voice; the walls are thin enough that Holster’ll hear him, even if he closed the door while he changes.

“She caught me in the elevator,” Holster shouts back.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, she’s apparently single, and looking for a nice boy to settle down with and for some strange reason doesn’t appreciate her mother’s matchmaking skills.” Holster comes back into the kitchen, dressed in old Samwell sweatpants and his hair messed from where he probably got caught pushing his head through the sweatshirt he threw on. He ducks in for a kiss before dropping into the seat beside Justin and putting his feet up on Justin’s lap. “You’re a lucky bastard for getting the half day.” He steals the unbitten half of Justin’s sandwich.

“Hey,” Justin says mildly, like he hadn’t put extra mustard on that side for Holster anyways.

Holster just grins and wiggles his toes, digging them into the meat of Justin’s thigh. “Whatcha doing?”

“Thinking about adopting a kid,” Justin replies and it probably says something about them that Holster knows exactly what he means without any context.

“Oh good, you got the email!” Holster drops his feet to the ground so he can sit up straight, and drags his chair closer to Justin’s. “There was a sign up sheet going around this afternoon.”

“When are you going to learn your own email address?” Justin asks, but he tilts the screen so they can both see the happy pictures.

“Whenever you grow out of the email you made in elementary, justin-oh-one-two-three-at-hotmail-dot-com?” Holster elbows Justin and starts clicking through the pages himself. His grin widens on the EVENTS page. “So, they have an option of either sending money so the volunteers can buy the gifts or you can buy something yourself and drop it off.” He drops his sandwich and Justin’s eyes are drawn to the pink of his mouth while he sucks mustard off his fingertips. When they’re clean, he drags the laptop over to his side of the table completely and clicks on the ADOPT-A-CHILD button that Justin’d been staring at before. Holster keeps talking while he fills out the form that loads, typing in his name and Justin’s email address. “I know you’ve got a big project coming up, but if we go this weekend to pick something out, and then we can wrap it and I’ll drop it off on Monday when I have the half day?” He swings his big head over to look at Justin when he finishes, and looks so excited that Justin can really help but lean forward and press a soft kiss to his lips. Holster is always stupidly beautiful when he’s excited about something, be it his newest TV obsession or gift shopping.

“Yeah, okay,” Justin says, when they pull back. Holster knocks their noses together when he leans in for another peck, but then he goes right back to the form.

“How many kids?” He hovers over the drop down menu.

“Two.�� They’d never decide on a gift for one kid without an argument in the store otherwise.

“Good call. Boy or girl?”

Justin shrugs and leans his head on Holster’s shoulder and watches him chose the Any option before hitting the submit button on the form. Another window pops up telling them that an email with all the information about the child(ren) they’ve ‘adopted’ will be sent as soon as possible. Justin and Holster are both quiet for a minute—Justin’s enjoying breathing in time with Holster—then Holster turns so Justin, not realizing how much of his weight he’d been leaning on Holster, has to catch himself before he smacks his face into Holster’s chest.

“Wanna have sex before the house gets overrun with children?” Holster asks, wiggling his eyebrows and looking proud of what has to be the worst joke possible, even if the idea of actually adopting a kid with him makes Justin’s insides buzz pleasantly.

“Shut the fuck up,” Justin groans. “Do not make that joke in front of your mother. You’ll break her heart.” He punches Holster in the shoulder, hard. He closes the laptop and kicks his chair from the table so he can stand up.

“She is baby crazy,” Holster agrees, rubbing at his shoulder. He takes the hand Justin offers though, standing and kissing Justin deeply enough that he can taste the mustard from the sandwich, and then they do make their way to the bedroom, returning the kitchen for a snack sometime later for a snack to go with the new T.V. show Holster wants to show Justin.

Holster wakes up early and excited, only letting Justin go back to sleep when he’s reminded that no store will be open before 8 AM. Justin wakes up again sometime around 10 to a cold bed and has a moment of panic that Holster went to the store without him. He relaxes when he hears a kitchen chair creak against the laminate floor, grateful for the stupidly thin walls. He rolls out of bed and pads to the bathroom, peeing and washing his face and teeth and then goes to find Holster, while shrugs into clean-ish clothes to go shopping in.

Holster’s got Justin’s laptop open in front of him again, and an empty plate full of toast crumbs piled on top of the sandwich plate from yesterday that they forgot to put away and he’s frowning while he stares at the screening, scrolling with a purpose.

“What’re you doing, Holtzy?” Justin asks, smacking a kiss to the top of Holsters head and taking the plates the sink. He gets a bowl down and fills it with Frosted Flakes. He finishes the milk, leaves the carton out so they at least have a small chance remember to buy more while they’re out, and leans against the counter while he eats. He squints at Holster as he waits for an answer to his question.

“They sent the email about the kids. Siblings; a boy and a girl,” Holster says finally. “Andrew’s 13, likes the Bruins, dinosaurs, and those Percy Jackson books that Nursey keeps trying to make you read.” Justin hums through a mouthful of flakes and Holster keeps going. “Penny is 6-and-a-half and really likes soccer and Rey from Star Wars.”

“They sound great,” Justin says when he swallows. “Why do you look so sad?”

Holster breathes out through his nose. “I dunno. I mean, I guess I didn’t realize that our gifts might be the only gifts they get this year.”

According to the clicking Justin did yesterday, these will definitely be the only gifts the kids this year, but he doesn’t think saying so will help so he stays silent.

“I don’t wanna fuck up their holidays,” Holster admits quietly, after he’s been chewing on the words for a while. Justin puts his bowl down and goes over to his boyfriend. From here, he can see that half the laptop screen is open to the Toy-R-Us website while the other half is an excel worksheet. Now’s probably not the time to realize that Holster using spreadsheets outside of work makes him about a hundred times more attractive, so instead Justin crawls into Holster’s laptop, wiggling until Holster works with him and pushes the table back so they both fit. The chair creaks onminously. Justin takes Holster’s face between his hand to look at him seriously. Holster’s hands settle right above Justin’s ass, finding bare skin where his t-shirt has ridden up with the movements, but it takes a minute for Holster to look Justin in the eye.

“Let’s pick out the best gifts we can then, eh?” Justin says.

Holster humpfs a little. “You say that like it’ll be easy.”

“You’ve made a spreadsheet. Step one of making it easy, babe.” Justin presses a kiss to Holster’s nose, and this time feels Holster’s humpf. “Make sure you save it before we go.” He ignores Holster’s grumble, steals another kiss, and swings his legs back over so he can finish his now-soggy cereal.

He gives Holster another half hour of scrolling the Toys-R-Us website before bullying him into real clothes and then into the car. Justin drives, because Holster makes the argument that he needs to study his list and Justin lets Holster get away with it because this is important to him. To both of them, really. He puts up with Holster making them go to the store further from their apartment because it has a better selection apparently, but puts his foot down when Holster tries to backseat drive.

“If you wanted to fucking drive, you should’ve fucking drove,” Justin says, finishing his turn and then reaching over to charlie-horse Holster. There’s less backseat driving after that, but that might be because he’s pulled into the parking lot and it’s much busier than he expected so they both concentrate on looking out for empty parking spots. When the eventually find one, Holster dashes off to nab a cart, though Justin takes over driving it because he figures Holster might be too excited to stick to it once they’re inside.

He’s right, but after a round of the store to “see what they have in stock Rans, c’mon,” Holster sticks close to the cart while Justin it pushes it through every single aisle, eyes wide while Holster narrates the pros and cons of each item on his list every time they find something new.

Somewhere between the Barbies and the Lego sets, Justin wishes that he had made a spreadsheet too. There’s just so much , so many colours and sounds and options and he doesn’t even realize he’s on the edge of a panic attack until Holster pushes his phone into Justin’s hands and tells him to focus on the pros of Rey action figures versus the plush versions for Penny.

“Thanks,” Justin says when he doesn’t have tunnel vision and his ears aren’t ringing anymore. He keeps scrolling through Holster’s spreadsheet, feeling grounded in the columns and rows. It’s not set up exactly like Justin would’ve done it, but it’s working. The overwhelming amount of stuff in the store is made more bearable, knowing that they don’t have to go through all of it to find the best holiday presents for these kids.

“Spreadsheets babe,” Holster replies.

He takes Justin’s hand and they finish going through the store, eventually deciding on a set of mini sticks and an A-to-Z encyclopedia of Dinosaurs for Andrew and the plushy doll of Rey and Starwars colouring book with matching markers for Penny. They only go a little over the amount the Orphanage recommended for each gift because Holster insists that they need Hanukkah and Christmas wrapping paper (“One for each gift for both of them, Rans, duh”) and non-denominational cards, but Justin figures no one will fault them for either.

The rest of the weekend is spent arguing about the best way to wrap the irregular shapes of the boxes, finally ending when they run out of wrapping paper and have to go back to get more so they agree each wrap the gifts for one kid and stop messing with each other’s boxes because “it’s not a competition Holster for god’s sake.” They sit next to each other at the kitchen table again and each write a little message in both of the cards, signing them with their first names. Justin adds a little heart next to his name, and has to shove Holster onto the floor when he giggles and asks why Justin drew a butt.

Holster tries to be smug about getting to go home early on Monday morning when they drive to work together, but he’s too excited about getting to drop the boxes off after that he forgets to rub his half day in Justin’s face when he waves and as he’s leaving at lunchtime.

Justin’s phone rings at 5 that afternoon, screen flashing to the picture he took of Holster caught mid-sneeze during the summer. Justin has done everything he can on his current project until someone in accounting calls him back with more information about an account. He won’t hear anything back from them until tomorrow, so he doesn’t even feel a little bit guilty when he answers his phone while he packs up his bag to go home for the day.

“If you’re calling to brag about your half day, you’re too late. I’m on my way home,” Justin says. He swings his bag over his shoulder and waves to Bonnie as he passes her office on his way to the elevator.

“Rans, they’ve invited us to a party!” Holster’s voice booms in his ear, which means that he’s really excited about something and forgotten he needs to use his inside voice, wherever he is.

Justin steps into the elevator, sticking the phone between his ear and shoulder so he can fix the twist in bag’s strap and presses the button for the ground floor. “Uh… who?”

“The orphanage! They have a Holiday Party every year for the kids and they invite whoever’s bought presents. or donated.”

“Oh yeah?” The elevator stops on the third floor and Margaret steps in, looking like she has something to say to Justin. He twists so she can see he’s on the phone and makes his best sympathetic face when she deflates, but doesn’t actually feel that bad. “When is it?”

“Uhhh, on a weekend?” There a rustling on Holster’s end, like he’s looking through papers. “Oh. Not this weekend, but the one after. Pretty sure Bitty’s cookie day is the Saturday while this is the Sunday so we can do both. I already RSVP’d that we’re going.”

Justin nods a goodbye to Margaret as he gets out of the elevator. “Bro, we can bring cookies for the kids!”

“Exactly!” Holster exclaims. “Now hurry up; I’m double parked and I’m not sure the parking attendant is feeling the holiday spirit now that the sun has been down for hours.”

Justin snorts, but hurries outside to see where Holster has half-assed parked their car in the loading zone. Justin can see his grin as Holster waves to him. The grin gets wider when Justin hangs up on him as he opens the passenger and leans across to give Holster a kiss hello, even though it’s only been hours since he got a kiss goodbye.

Cookies aren’t the only thing that Justin and Holster turn up to the Holiday Party with two weekends later. Bitty sends them with a couple pies and Jack slips them a cheque made out to the orphanage with instructions to give it as a jumpstart for next year’s Holiday party. They’ve even got a couple of extra presents, some jerseys and t-shirts, just in case. The staff member who greets them doesn’t quite know what to do with all of it, but gives them nametags and sends them back into a rec room where there’s a Christmas Tree set up beside a table of brightly coloured gifts. Holster elbows Justin in the side when he spots their mismatched gifts.

“Mine still looks better,” Justin mutters under his breath. He gets an elbow to the stomach for that as they join the other adults and kids milling about the room.

They get directed to a snack table by a serious faced kid who’s balancing a plate with a single brownie on it on top of a place filled with baby carrots and Justin is drawn into conversation with the volunteer in charge of pouring juice while Holster is talked into lifting kids up onto his shoulders and giving them a tour of the room with a view. Justin isn’t sure how long he watches Holster be a human jungle gym but it does something to him every time one of the kids makes Holster belly laugh with something they’ve said. Justin’s just about to get in on the action when Bethenny, the woman in charge of the orphanage, gets everyone’s attention to start the gift giving ceremony.

The kids go sit near the tree while the adults in the room hang around the edges of the room. The volunteers go through the table of presents, calling names and handing each gift to the kid it goes with, with reminders to wait until everyone has their gifts. It turns out the serious faced kid with the carrots and brown is Andrew and the little girl who first convinced Holster she needed to sit on his shoulders “for science” is Penny. They both look pleased with the wrapping jobs, and Justin even catches Andrew staring at the little menorah’s that cover the Hanukkah wrapping paper, before rubbing his thumb over them and smiling. Holster’s grinning too when Justin catches his eye.

When every kid has a present in front of them, Justin braces himself against Holster for the flurry of activity that’s coming. Someone starts a countdown that’s enthusiastically taken up by the younger kids who want to show off their counting skills and at zero, there’s a happy shout and the holiday music that’d been playing in the background is overtaken by the sounds of ripping paper and excited kids.

There’s so much movement that Justin isn’t sure where to look, but an extra loud shout of glee from his left grabs his attention and he doesn’t even try to stop the giant smile he knows he’s wearing when he sees that Penny’s ripped into Holster’s haphazard wrap job of the Rey plush and is hugging her, even as the rest of the gift is still attached to the it. There’s more shouts of “oh cool,” and “check this out!” and one “holy shit!” that has Holster snort so loudly that Justin thinks he might be choking on his tongue as he muffles his laugh in Justin’s shoulder.

Justin is thumping on Holster’s back and doing a shitty job of hiding his own laughter when someone tugs on his other hand. He looks down to see Penny and Andrew in front of him. They’re both holding their gifts, now properly unwrapped, as well as a small square of folded tissue paper.

“Mr. Adam?” Penny says when she sees that she’s got his attention. Holster looks up at his name.

“That’s me,” Holster says. He drops down into a crouch so he’s at Penny’s level.

“Is that Mr. Justin?” she asks, leaning close so she talks right into his ear.

“Yep, that’s Justin,” Holster replies. Penny nods seriously, and hands Holster the blue tissue paper she’s holding.

“This ‘s for you. Andrew has one for Mr. Justin,” she says.

On cue, Andrew passes the green tissue paper that Justin now notices has his name scrawled on it in big little kid letters.

“Oh, thank you,” Justin says, turning to look down at Holster. He looks just as bewildered as Justin is at holding a tissue paper square.

“Thank you for the dinosaur book,” Andrew says. “And the mini sticks, they’re super cool.”

“No problem, buddy,” Justin replies, still feeling a little lost.

“Thank you for Rey too, I really love her!” Penny jumps in. She almost knocks Holster over when she suddenly wraps her arms around his neck. “She’s my best favourite!”

“Mine too,” Holster says, gently wrapping his arms around her and patting her on the head. Justin watches Andrew watch the hug, and grins when Andrew looks back at him like he’s contemplating a hug. He doesn’t look super enthused by the idea so Justin offers him a fist, which he happily bumps with his own, even cracking a grin when Justin does a finger wiggle-explosion at the end.

Penny pulls back from Holster, but keeps her hands on Holster’s shoulders so she can look at him seriously. “Okay, now it’s your turn.”

“Uh, what?” Holster asks, looking up at Ransom again. Penny rolls her eyes.

“Open your gifts now,” Andrew fills in, jerking his head at the green package in Justin’s hand. “We need to exchange gifts for it to be a gift exchange.” He sounds a little put out at having to explain the concept of gift exchange to two adults.

“I- seriously?” Justin asks. He looks around and finds that all the kids have team up with the adults and like him and Holster, most of the adults are just as surprised as they are to find the kids holding out gifts with their names on them.

“Yeah! Open it, open it, open it!!! I wrapped and Andrew made them, but I help-ed and Mr. Adam, can I help you?”

Adam sits flat on his ass so Penny can crawl into his lap without knocking them both over, and she chatters away into his ear while he rips into it. Justin sits down too and with a little huff, Andrew joins them on the floor. He points out where the end of the tape is when Justin just keeps turning the package in his hand, touched beyond belief that these kids who don’t have much, have enough in their hearts to want to see other people happy.

Refusing to cry in front of the kids, Justin finds the seam and rips back the tape, opening the envelope to see a knotted string bracelet. He looks over to see that Holster has something similar. He has his wrist out and is letting Penny try to tie it on.

“You made this?” Justin asks Andrew, who nods, blushing slightly. “Oh man, this is super cool Andrew, thank you!”

Andrew looks down at his shoes, though Justin can still see his pleased smile. Justin leans in closer to him.

“Like the coolest thing that Hol- Adam owns probably,” he says, whispering it loud enough that he knows Adam will hear it. He gets kicked in the side for his troubles, but Adam also laughs out loud and Penny is absolutely delighted at the idea.

“Will you tie it for me?” Justin holds his hand out. Adam nods and scooches forward, balancing on his knees while he takes both ends and wraps them around Justin’s wrist. He bites his lips while he concentrates, nodding at it once when he’s finished. Justin shakes out it his hand to admire the colourful string. It doesn’t move much; Andrew’s tied it tight enough that it bites into Justin’s skin a little bit.

Honestly though?

It’s the best gift Justin’s ever gotten in an exchange.

#omgcpwinterextravaganza #ransom x holster #holsom #omgcheckplease #omgcp #i writ i write i wrote #this is fluff #there's a mention of a panic attack but it stops before it really starts #lemme know if you want me to tag for that #it's 3:40am when im posting this on december 3 #don't worry im also annoyed at myself for missing december 1 so badly #this was supposed to a little thing but then it grew and grew and grew #¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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casuallydeliciousphilosopher · 7 years ago

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Tagged by @ships-sailing-in-the-night :D

rules: answer these 85 statements (god damn, what is this a tumblr exam?!?!?) about yourself, then tag 20 peoples

I tag: @theleafpile @kanshou87 @m0urningd0ves @adastratostar and anyone else who wants to do it becasue I’ve already annoyed too many people by tagging them lol.

last

1. drink - green tea w/ honey

2. phone call - my boyfriend

3. text message - to my beta reader is also an awesome friend <3

4. song you listened to - Never Be The Same is playing on the radio as I type this.

5. time you cried - oh god...like two days ago I think??? I get really emotional over little shit when I’m sleep deprived.

6. dated someone twice - I’ve never broken up with someone and gotten back into a relationship with them again...but I have broken up with someone before and then went back for a one night stand because the sex was really good...so does that count??? Idk.

7. kissed someone & regretted it - I’ve never regretted it

8. been cheated on - Sit down, it’s storytime! My first boyfriend texted me before one of our dates once and said he head the flu so he couldn’t go out. Me, being the wonderful partner I am, decided to go to the store and buy some chicken noodle soup, and ginger ale, and cold medicine and visit him. So I get to his place, nobody answers the door so I use the hide-a-key (we’d been going out for about 6 months so I knew where to find that shit). So I’m walking upstairs and I can hear people fucking, like hardcore fucking *faster, harder, choke me daddy* that kinda shit. And I just kinda pause on the staircase and think to myself OH HELL NO!!! So I rush up to his room, throw the door open, and low and behold he’s fucking some blonde bimbo and he looks over and we make eye contact and I can see the oh shit look on his face. So I screamed something like you whore fucking bastard and threw the bag of groceries I’d gotten at him and the hot soup container broke open and splashed all over him and his side hoe and the last thing I heard as I stomped back downstairs to leave was his frantic voice yelling oh god it’s on my dick! Needless to say, I never responded to his texts after that.

9. lost someone special - too many people. But recently I lost my grandfather earlier this month on super bowl Sunday, my whole family was there when he unexpectedly died on us. And back in October of last year, I lost a close cousin in a mass shooting, and it’s really hard to heal from that because every fucking time I turn on the TV I see that another shooting has happened. So...

10. been depressed - all the time??? Like...why do you think I’m almost never sober????

11. gotten drunk & thrown up - I drink a little too much too frequently to be honest, but I’ve never thrown up because I was drunk.

fave colors

12. dark bright blue

13. candy apple red

14. fresh grass green

the last year have you…

15. made new friends - What are friends??? I’ve made new acquaintances, and I’ve made a few online friends if those count.

16. fallen out of love - Not within the last year.

17. laughed until you cried - Yes. The last time was back during Christmas when my boyfriend was doing some stupid shit while badly singing along to some weird song that screamed snow every other second.

18. found out someone was talking about you - People talk shit, I don’t bother to keep up with it.

19. met someone who changed you - I’ve met a lot of people who changed me, but not within the last year.

20. found out who your friends are - I have no friends???

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Haha! Does my boyfriend count??? Cuz otherwise it’s a hard no.

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in irl - Almost all of them, but they’re really only acquaintances/family members.

23. do you have any pets - my boyfriend just surprised me with a puppy this last weekend as a belated valentines day gift. She’s perfect and I love her. Say hi to Korra, she’s a husky.

24. do you want to change your name - Yes. I want to change it to a “guys” name because gender discrimination in any STEM field is a legit thing. Also I don’t really like my given name.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - I went to Vegas and the Grand Canyon with my boyfriend (because our birthdays are only 3 days apart so we always combine them into one celebration). Gambling, drinking, debauchery in general and then a nice relaxing weekend of hiking and sightseeing. It was pretty awesome.

26. what time did you wake up today - 6:00am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for - the sweet embrace of death??? Idk.

29. what are you listening to right now - a local radio station

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yes! Tom was the name of the first guy I ever danced with. He was super cute, also we were both named “most likely to succeed” for our senior yearbook (Lol who the fuck picked me for that???) so we talked a little bit then when we were waiting for our photoshoot. He’s super cool. He’s an engineer at Tesla now...and here I am...wtf am I doing with my life????

31. something that’s getting on your nerves - trying to potty train the new puppy. Lord give me strength!

32. most visited website - Oh sweet fucking Jesus...please don’t do this to me...You don’t want to know my search history...But, I just pulled up a new tab on my phone and my top three are (unfortunately) PornHub, AO3, and my College Login Page...I’m gonna go hide now...

33. hair color - Brunette

34. long or short hair - Medium. It’s mid-back length. Maybe that’s long??? Idk.

35. do you have a crush on someone - my boyfriend and many fictional characters.

36. what do you like about yourself - Nothing??? There’s not a whole lot to like???

37. want any piercings? - I have all the peircings I want. I want more tattoos.

38. blood type - Why the fuck do you want to know? AB+

39. nicknames - Dez, Dezzzy.

40. relationship status - Been in a relationship for 4 years now. He’s an asshole. But he’s my asshole.

41. zodiac - Gemini

42. pronouns - She, Her

43. fave tv shows - Lucifer, The Magicians, iZombie, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Westworld, Avatar, 11-22-63.

44. tattoos - I need more, right now I have an Unalome on my sternum. What is an Unalome you ask? It’s my Tumblr icon. And a Buddhist symbol that represents the path to enlightenment. Yes. I am a Buddhist.

45. right or left handed - Right handed

46. ever had surgery - Nope.

47. piercings - Ears and Navel

48. sport - I don’t play sports. I don’t watch sports. I do autocross...but I don’t consider that to be a sport, just a hobby.

49. vacation - My boyfriend and I bought tickets to Paris for this summer! :D

50. trainers - ??? What am I missing here??? I need context.

more general

51. eating - Again. I need context. What? Eating? Yes. I eat. I’m destroying a Snickerdoodle as I write this, crumbs cascading down onto my grimy pitiful keyboard.

52. drinking - Whoo boy! Don’t get me started on drinking! My liver is dead and so are my emotions! :)

53. I’m about to watch - Nothing. Because everything is on haitus.

54. waiting for - The inevitable release of death???

55. want - CONTEXT!!! I want these questions to have some damn context!

56. get married - I’m gonna tell you a secret, but you can’t tell anyone. My parents are crazy christian religious nuts and my boyfriends parents believe in marriage later in life. But, my boyfriend and I are actually already married on paper lol. Like, we’re both happy together and we cohobitate well and we have the same goals in life so we signed some paperwork at the courthouse to get the taxbreaks mostly lol. This is the first time I’ve aver actually told anyone the truth about that. But we both agreed that our parents dont need to know, because why the fuck is it thier business?? Anwyays, we always still refer to each other as boy/girlfriend because if we slipped up in front of them then things would get ugly lol.

57. career - I’m in school getting my Architecture degree.

which is better

58. hugs or kisses - Hmm...it depends. I’m not exactly a big touchy feeling person. I’m gonna go with kissess.

59. lips or eyes - Eyes. I love me some pretty eyes.

60. shorter or taller - I’ve been with people both shorter and taller than me, and they both have their advantages and disadvantages. Taller people can reach the top shelves of cabnites and grocery stores, but you have to lean onto your tiptoes everytime you want a kiss. Shorter people are nice because you get to card your fingers through their hair and cup their cheek/jaw, while they have can really only wrap their hands behind your neck. Hmm...idk. I have no preferance.

61. older or younger - People or in general or like romantic partners? I like people of all ages lol. But like, romantically, I’d have to go with older.

62. nice arms or stomach - Hmm. Arms. You see a persons arms way more often then their stomachs.

63. hookup or relationship - I’ve done both. And it depends on the person wether or not a hookup or relationship is better. Hookups are for lust, relationships are for when you actually invest on an emotional level.

64. troublemaker or hesitant - Hmm...I can say that troublemakers will bring drama. I like hesitant.

have you ever

65. kissed a stranger - Aquiantances yes. But not a stranger.

66. drank hard liquor - Why is this even a question??? I’m not even sure I can function without hard liquor anymore.

67. lost glasses - I don’t have glasses.

68. turned someone down - Yep. Never date someone just to spare their feelings, you’ll just hurt them more down the line.

69. sex on the first date - I have. Sex is fun.

70. broken someone’s heart - I try not to but I probably have.

71. had your heart broken - Obviously.

72. been arrested - Nope. I was always the one who did the arresting.

73. cried when someone died - How can you not cry when you watch someone die in front of you? Like? What kind of cold boded robotic motherfucker must you be??? People who feel no emotion while watching that kind of thing scare me, run away, that’s a fucking serial killer.

74. fallen for a friend - Yep. It can be hard not to.

do you believe in

75. yourself - I believe in my ability to drink one bottle of tequilla a night, and my ability to hit a moving target from 300 meters.

76. miracles - Nope.

77. love at first sight - Nope. Love is emotional, you don’t form emotional connections at first sight. Lust is the only thing you can form at first sight.

78. Santa Claus - Nope. I’m not three.

79. kiss on a first date - Isn’t that like the bare minimum for a first date??? I’ve never not kissed on a first date.

80. angels - Nope.

other

81. best friend’s name - My bestfriend is my boyfriend.

82. eye color - Blue

83. fave movie - At the moment, Wonder Woman. But the Lion King will always hold a special place in my heart.

84. fave actor - Tom Ellis, Tom Hiddleston, Chris Pine, Chis Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Pratt, Hugh Jackman.

85. fave actress - Gal Gadot, Lauren German, Lesley Ann Brandt, Amiee Garcia, Hallee Berry, Mila Kunis.

#personal #about me #wow #this was a thing #i know #i hate myself too #:P

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bulbspoon9-blog · 6 years ago

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classic yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting + adelaide’s first birthday

Well, I basically blinked and my baby turned one. Guys, the time FLIES. It really, really does. I can’t believe I’m a year down into this mom-of-two thing. I may have a few more wrinkles and a backlog of eleventy billion hours of sleep I need to catch up on, but man — every day spent with my two girls is sweet (and sometimes sour, when one of them steals a toy from the other one or, heaven forbid, one is eating a banana and the other one isn’t and the one who isn’t eating a banana MUST HAVE THE BANANA NOW, but I digress).

From the last week of April through the first two weeks of May, three of the four of us have birthdays. Addy’s is April 27, mine is May 8 and Avery’s is May 9. So essentially, we just have one ridiculously long birthday celebration for almost a month, with lots of cake. It’s the best.

For Addy’s birthday this year, we had a small family party with some brunch food (guys — I just discovered that I really love quiche. Quiche is tasty! Will be having more quiche in my life) and this yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting — a classic birthday cake for a really special little lady. And a good time was had by all.

When I made Avery’s first birthday cake, it was my intention to make that HER cake — as in, every year on her birthday, she gets her special cake. Well, maybe we’ll get to that point, but for now, each year begs for something new from the pint-sized girl with the strong opinions. Last year, it was cupcakes. This year, it was a cake that looked like a bunny. Next year it’ll probably be something similar to those massive displays they make on Cake Wars. Who knows. All I’m saying is, I’m looking forward to the day when she’s finally OK with something that doesn’t involve pink and glitter and maybe doesn’t talk about said cake for six months straight prior to her birthday so then I’d feel reaaaaalll guilty if I didn’t just make the cake she asked for, but ANYWAY. One of these days, we’re going to just stick with the same cake flavor like we did back in my day. Ahem.

But since Addy isn’t old enough to protest and actually never had cake until her first birthday, I got to decide her cake for her. I’ve always been wanting to make a classic yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting that really nails how I envision this iconic celebration cake in my mind — a sturdy but moist crumb, lots of vanilla flavor, and the frosting is super chocolatey and fluffy but also thick and almost mousse-like and not too sweet. And sprinkles. There must be sprinkles. And this recipe covers all the bases.

The cake is actually adapted from one of my favorite baking cookbooks, The Vanilla Bean Baking Book (written by Sarah of The Vanilla Bean Blog), and in her recipe Sarah uses the “reverse creaming” method — essentially, this means you add the butter to the dry ingredients and make a coarse crumble of sorts before adding the remaining ingredients, instead of creaming the butter and sugar together first like one typically does with cake. In doing so, the cake is able to be dense but not dry or too heavy — it’s delicate but not overly fluffy like a boxed cake mix can be. I think I’m doing this for all future cakes, because I love the results.

The frosting is an adaptation of a chocolate buttercream from Sally’s Baking Addiction for which I am now officially head over heels. It’s thick and fluffy and intensely chocolate-flavored but not overpowering: which is how I prefer frosting. I can’t stand the super-sweet stuff that takes over the whole flavor of the cake and leaves you with that cloying taste (in fact, I was that kid who always took the frosting off the cupcakes at birthday parties and just ate the cake part). This is so not that frosting. This is the frosting of which dreams are made. It received my grandma’s seal of approval, so you know it’s legit.

Combining those two recipes as my base, putting it all together, adding some sprinkles and topping it all off with a single candle, I had made my classic birthday cake dreams come true. And I think I made every one of Addy’s dreams come true, too, as she devoured that cake like it was her job. As you can tell from the photos below, things got out of hand quickly. She’s amazing.

Happiest of birthdays to you, sweet girl!

Yellow Birthday Cake with Chocolate Buttercream Frosting

Author: Girl Versus Dough

Prep time: 2 hours

Cook time: 17 mins

Total time: 2 hours 17 mins

Yields: 12 servings

3 eggs

2 egg yolks

1 tablespoon vanilla

¾ cup sour cream

¼ cup buttermilk

2 cups all-purpose flour

1½ cups sugar

¾ teaspoon baking powder

¾ teaspoon baking soda

¾ teaspoon salt

½ lb (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into 1-inch pieces

1¼ cups (2½ sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

3½ cups powdered sugar

¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

¼ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

¼ cup heavy cream or milk

First, make the cake: Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour two 8x2-inch round cake pans and line bottoms with parchment paper.

In medium bowl, whisk eggs, egg yolks, vanilla, sour cream and buttermilk.

In bowl of a stand mixer with paddle attachment, mix flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt on low speed until combined. While mixer is running on low speed, slowly add butter pieces one at a time until mixture looks like coarse sand. While mixer is running on low speed, add half the wet ingredients. Increase speed to medium until well mixed, about 30 seconds, then return to low speed. Add remaining wet ingredients, mixing until just combined. Increase speed to medium and beat 20 seconds. Scrape down sides of bowl with spatula and mix batter a few more times.

Divide batter between prepared cake pans and smooth tops with spatula. Tap pans on counter twice to reduce air bubbles. Bake 17-22 minutes until cakes are golden brown and a toothpick inserted in center of each cake pan comes out clean.

Cool cakes in pans on a cooling rack for 30 minutes, then turn cakes out onto rack, remove parchment paper, and cool completely before frosting.

To make the frosting: In large bowl using electric hand mixer or in bowl of stand mixer with whisk attachment, beat butter on high speed 1 minute until smooth and creamy. Meanwhile, in medium bowl, whisk powdered sugar, cocoa powder and salt until combined. With mixer on low speed, slowly add dry ingredients. Add vanilla and cream. Once incorporated, increase speed to high and beat 3 minutes until well combined and fluffy. If frosting is too thin, add more powdered sugar. If frosting is too thick, add more cream.

Frost cake, then top with sprinkles and candles and have a party.

3.2.2802

Source: http://www.girlversusdough.com/2018/05/14/yellow-cake-with-chocolate-buttercream-frosting/

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barvan51-blog · 6 years ago

Text

classic yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting + adelaide’s first birthday

Happiest of birthdays to you, sweet girl!

Yellow Birthday Cake with Chocolate Buttercream Frosting

Author: Girl Versus Dough

Prep time: 2 hours

Cook time: 17 mins

Total time: 2 hours 17 mins

Yields: 12 servings

3 eggs

2 egg yolks

1 tablespoon vanilla

¾ cup sour cream

¼ cup buttermilk

2 cups all-purpose flour

1½ cups sugar

¾ teaspoon baking powder

¾ teaspoon baking soda

¾ teaspoon salt

½ lb (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into 1-inch pieces

1¼ cups (2½ sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

3½ cups powdered sugar

¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

¼ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

¼ cup heavy cream or milk

First, make the cake: Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour two 8x2-inch round cake pans and line bottoms with parchment paper.

In medium bowl, whisk eggs, egg yolks, vanilla, sour cream and buttermilk.

Cool cakes in pans on a cooling rack for 30 minutes, then turn cakes out onto rack, remove parchment paper, and cool completely before frosting.

Frost cake, then top with sprinkles and candles and have a party.

3.2.2802

Source: http://www.girlversusdough.com/2018/05/14/yellow-cake-with-chocolate-buttercream-frosting/

0 notes