#i laid in bed for three seconds and i dont know what happened i saw a vision and thought to myself 'how can i make my mommy issues worse'

[todayisafridaynight]

whatever //blasts your old man with the butch beam//

[aluraveil]

no title because i dont have a name for this and i cant think of anything what

TW: Yandere themes, implied kidnapping, captivity of reader, Arlecchino is really mean and aggressive, and yelling.

Word Count: 800

A/N: This is so bad because I rushed to get this out. Again this is incredibly rushed so don’t expect to much LOL

There's always a way to tell if Arlecchino is in a good mood today.

Whenever she's happy, she always opens the door like how she normally does. She opens it, and then she'll close it with a soft click. She'll take off her shoes and hang up her coat and then she'll call out your name and that would be your cue to come greet her at the door.

You were laying on your bed wanting nothing more to sleep and do nothing the entire day. But suddenly the door slammed open and loud footsteps echoed through the house.

The second that the door slammed open, you could feel your heart drop.

Arlecchino.

She's back. And most importantly, she's not in a good mood today.

You could hear yelling and the voice of her screaming about who knows what. The second you heard her yelling, you instinctively hug your blanket tighter because you're scared. You're scared of her.

As if on instinct, you grabbed your blanket and kneeled down into the corner of the room. You sat there as if you could hide away from her.

You knew how angry Arlecchino gets whenever she's in a bad mood. 9 times out of 10 she always makes sure to take it out on you. She's scary and she yells a lot whenever she's mad at you. Flashbacks of when she would yell at you came across your mind and anxiety filled your veins.

You could hear loud footsteps making their way to your shared bedroom. Oh no. You don't know what to do. She's probably going to yell at you isn't she?..

Well you were right.

Arlecchino opened the room with a loud thud and despite knowing it was coming, it still scared you because of the loud noise.

She took a glance at you all curled in the corner with a blanket over you and how nervous you looked, she raised an eyebrow before saying, "why are you sitting in the dirty corner? Get up."

You didn't know what to do. You were paralyzed in fear. You took one look at her face and you could tell she was pretty heated.

Damn.

She had to ask that didn't she? What a way to rub salt on the wound.

"Did you hear what I said? I told you to get up." Arlecchino said looking disgusted at the way you were on the ground. The anger in her face dissapeared a bit before she noticed how nervous you looked. "Why do you look so scared right now?"

"I- uh.. um" You stuttered. How the hell are you supposed to answer that?

"I'm scared of you because you're always yelling and whenever you get angry you become scary and I don't like it. I don't like how you brought me here against my will. I hate you. I hate you so much. You're a cruel person and I don't want to ever see you again."

Is what you wanted to say.

But alas you were a scared pet, too afraid to talk back to your master.

"How many times do I have to tell you?!?!" She begins shouting. "Get up from the floor right now."

You scrambled to get up when she started shouting at you. It was best not to anger her anymore.

"You can never do what you're told can you?" She yelled. "I had to tell you three times to get up from the floor."

Arlecchino began yelling at you for the next minute about how you can't follow simple directions. After that, she walked away to let off some steam leaving you in the room all dumbfounded. You sat on the bed and decided to lay there. You were tired of her and how angry she could be.

Later on in the night she came back to your room and she saw you laying there. She laid right next to you and her arms wrapped around you body holding you tightly. Your heart immediately dropped when she starting cuddling you.

"I love you darling.." She mumbled as she nuzzled her face into your neck. A few hours ago she was yelling at you and now she's acting like nothing happened?

You couldn't do anything about it though. Arlecchino is always like this. She never apologizes after she yells at you.

You were afraid that if you didn't give her any affection, she might start yelling at you again. So you said the four words that would make her happy.

"I love you Arlecchino.."

You could feel her lips turning into a smile as her icy touch makes you shiver. As long as you show her some sort of affection she will be happy. Maybe she'll stop taking her anger out on you next time..

Probably not.

But hey? You could at least have some hope right?

Right?

[softtcurse]

You found this, You need this

contains 18 + content , please do not read of you are not 18+

“Jack I really have to go” You laugh as you feel him place kisses all over the underside of your neck. His hands gripping your hips teasingly. He didn’t want you to leave, and you knew that. Unfortunately for him he knew your situation. It wasn’t an easy one but he understood the premise of it. You wanted to be with Jack, the timing was just off. A deep out of guilt always sets in your gut when he talks to you about your future together. You wanted it to happen as soon as possible.

Just a little more time

“Why do you have to go hmm? You don’t even want to leave, practically soaking my fingers through your panties baby” He spoke into your head. A shudder made its way up your spin. His voice always did it for you. His hands were heaven sent too. He knew what he did to you and it’s not like you minded anyways.

“He’s gonna start being annoying and asking me where I’m at again” You pouted. Your hands finding his curls. You were laid back on his bed, where you have found yourself more than once before. Nearly three months of sneaking behind your current boyfriend’s back to see Jack. It’s like his house is your home now too. He’s made it evident that he really does want it to be. You looked down at his lips. They were already a little bit and even you couldn’t help yourself to lean it to give him a kiss. His tongue chasing yourself. Your body was like his kryptonite. He always wanted to find himself buried in the opening of your thighs, having you whimper his name.

“You don’t have to tell him shit” Jack said with a roll of his eyes. His hands tugging at your shirt. You obliged. Blinking your eyes up at him as he worked in his own shirt. Tossing it aside and then looking down at you. “So many damn clothes on” He tsked. “I should punish you for that” He said jokingly with a grin. You let out a laugh of your own and rubbed your hands down his back. Perfectly manicured nails that the man above you himself had paid for. You always did love a man that spoiled you and he always did it without you even having to ask. By no means were you a goldigger, Jack liked taking care of you. Who were you to say no? Your soon to be ex boyfriend Jamie couldn’t give less than a fuck about paying for you. He wasn’t a real man, you had told yourself one too many times. Jack changed your perception and made you understand that you wouldn’t settle for him.

“You think so?” You asked him. Your hands under the hem of your shirt.

“Come on, stop playing” His laughed echoed against the walls of the room again.

“I dont knowwww, you gonna be a good boy?” You felt yourself almost out of breath from how hard you were trying not to laugh. Talking to him this way always riled him up. You had never taken charge in the bedroom with him and you preferred in that way. He knew how to play his role just like you knew how to play yours.

“Man, you know just as much as I do that’s not how this shit works.”

“So then remind me how it works”

It didn’t take long for him to start tossing article of clothing everywhere. You could’ve sworn your panties had landed somewhere in the nightstand, because Jack wasted no time in starting to kiss you again. His hands roaming from your breasts giving them the attention he always gave them. Before moving on to your thighs that were always waiting for their time to shine. That was one of his favorite body parts of yours. They just did something to him that he couldn’t quite describe.

You felt his lips leave yours and soon enough they were traveling down to the valley of your breasts, to your stomach, down your hips, and opening your eyes you saw him down under the covers. Hands gently parting your thighs open to see a sight that he was always happy to set eyes on.

“How badly do you want it?” He asked you huskily. Your hands firmly placed on his hair, curled tickling your palms. He knew what he was doing to you, and you loved every second of it.

“Im here with you am I not?” You challenged, a quirk of your eyebrow and he raised his eyebrows like he was impressed.

“Hmm, I’ll take that answer” He chuckled softly. With ease he started to go down on you. You succumbed to his touch, his mouth. He lapped at your pussy with need. His tongue hitting all the right spots and his hands squeezing your breasts. No other man had made you feel the way Jack Harlow did. You weren’t sure you were willing to have it any other way either. Your clit was being flicked by his tongue, he knew all your spots and what go you going. It didn’t take long for him to learn.

“F-fuck” you whimpered. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head as his tongue worked quicker to ensure your orgasm. His left hand came down and he started to play with your clit with his thumb. Speeding up once he felt your thighs clench. Your legs shutting closed and he wasn’t complaining about the way he was buried in your arousal. The sweetest taste he ever had the pleasure of having.

“Ready for me to drop you off?” He asked you. Pulling away suddenly. He looked as if it was a regular day occurrence. Your orgasm was denied, snatched right from under you. You looked at him. With your jaw open and blinking at him as if he was crazy. All while he searched for his clothes. Moving away from you and picking up his boxers from the floor. Sliding them up and then searching for his pants.

“Are you fucking crazy?” You asked him. Your hands moving to sit yourself up. Leaning against the headboard of his bed. Your thighs felt like jello, and your core was still very much in need of some type of release that Jack simply was not going to give you.

“No? Im taking you back to your apartment, that’s what you wanted right?” Jack spoke with a smirk on his lips.

“What type of game is this?”

“A new one, it’s called ‘how far Can Jack push her before she’s begging for it again?’”

If this man wasn’t so attractive you would’ve killed him by now

///

“I love you ma, text me when you get inside. Okay?” Jack asked as you leaned up to press a kiss against his lips. He was parked a few parking spots down from where you apartment entrance was so Jamie would happen to peek outside and possibly see the two of you. You nodded your head. Your hand on the back of his neck as you brought him in for a another kiss. He always opened your door for you, always making sure you got in safely and even closed it for you. Which you weren’t really used to a guy caring that music about you. The year you and Jamie dated you could probably count on one hand how many times he opened the door for you.

“I will, love you too.” You smiled tightly at him. You really didn’t want to go inside. Not that you were scared of Jamie. But because he always made it a point to stay in your apartment because he felt he had the right to. He annoyed the fuck out of you most times. Not only was his mood always shifting but he was also almost always trying to gaslight you into thinking him cheating on you was crazy. Even when you literally had almost caught him in the bathroom of a club Jack performed at the first night you met him.

Jack held his hand out for you. You grabbed your overnight bag and let out a huff. “You’ll be back before you even know it” Jack told you, offering even the smallest bit of encouragement he could. As soon as he had pulled up to your neighborhood and waved at the security man. You were already counting down the days in which you would see him again.

“Three weeks, I’ve waited longer for other things.” You shrugged and felt your eyes get blurry from tears. He would be going on his Europe tour the next day and you wouldn’t see him for almost a month. Jack offered to fly you out so you could see him, you and PG had grown a bond in the three months you knew them. They loved having you around and they treated you like you were their little sister. They of course also knew about your situation with Jamie and didn’t say much about it. They even had offered to pop his tires for you if he got out of hand at any point. You were entirely grateful for Jack. He brought a new light in your dim life. Jamie had sure sucked the life out of you even without you knowing it.

“Exactly” Jack pressed a kiss to the side of your head. You immediately embraced him. Squeezing him a little too tight, but he want going to tell you that.

“I’ll FaceTime you everyday”

“You always go Jack”

“I’ll do it every second then”

You tearfully laughed. Letting go of him. “Okay, I love you so much”

“I love you too sweet girl. See you soon”

You nodded your head and wiped off the tears that stained your cheeks. Your heart beat speeding up just a little bit as you watched Jack get back in his car. He didn’t look too thrilled either. But his eyes locked yours and he pretended like he was okay. You made your way on the pavement, Jack keeping an eye on you and making sure you go into your building safely. Three months would be hell, but seeing you in the end would all be worth it.

A few minutes later you found yourself opening your apartment door with your key. The sound of tv playing, immediately your mood got even more sour.

You turned on your living room lights and jumped at the sight of Jamie. His phone in his hand and he was sitting in your love seat. He was relaxed and leaning back laughing at something stupid on the tv. YOUR tv. You just wanted to go lay down and sleep. One day closer to seeing Jack again.

“You scared the shit out of me” You said. With annoyance laced all over your voice. “I told you to stop coming in here when I’m not here, it scares me. Makes me think someone broke in. ” You dropped your keys on the coffee table. Placing your bag down and watching as he had helped himself to a drink from your kitchen. Ciroc, Jack’s favorite that you had stored there specifically for him. He didn’t drink but occasionally he would have some when he was over.

“I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to come see my girlfriend” He spat at you. Rolling his eyes. You fought the urge to kick him in the balls and shove his stupid phone in his throat.

“Im not fighting with you today, I’m so tired and ready to take a shower” You mumbled at him. Pulling your phone quickly from your jean pocket and texting Jack to let him know you where home safe.

‘just got home, he’s here but I’m about to make him leave lol, lmk when you get babe ily 💓’

You sent it and turned off your screen. Grabbing your bag from the floor and making your way into your bedroom.

Jamie followed you. His drink clinking with the ice in his glass.

“How was your weekend with the girls?” Jamie asked you. As if he really cared. You pulled some drawers open after turning on your light. Finding a pair of soft cotton sorts and a t shirt to wear after your shower.

“It was good Jamie, are you almost on your way?”

“How’s Jack by the way?”

You paused. Shorts and shirt still in your hand. You turned around. Wondering if you had heard him correctly. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

“How. Is. Jack?” Jamie smirked at you. Watching as your face turned pale.

“Don’t say his name”You muttered. Your cheeks heated up. The idiot had the audacity to laugh at you.

“What was that baby?”

“I said dont fucking say his name You stupid fuck!” You yelled back. “What kind of sick joke is this Jamie? You couldn’t have done this shit over text?!”

“No, seeing you knowing that you got caught sneaking around with some rapper makes my day just a little bit better. Huh? You thought I wasn’t going to catch on? Why your thighs are littered with bruises? Why we haven’t had sex in three months? You think I’m fucking stupid or something?” Jamie said to you, spewing his venom lace tirade at you.

He wanted to hit you where it hurt, but the fact that you didn’t care about him anymore made you laugh. He really thought you were going to sink to your knees and beg for his forgiveness? It was only a matter of time before you dumped him anyways.

“Yes, you are fucking stupid. You have to be the single most idiotic person I have ever met.” You gripped your clothes tightly. “You think I’m sad that you found out? You think I’m upset that this is ending?” You put your hand up when he started opening his mouth. “How do you feel knowing that ‘some rapper’ was fucking your girlfriend for three months? How do you feel Jamie, knowing that I was begging Jack to fuck me so hard that I forgot my own name?” You stepped closer to him. His face was red of embarrassment. Good.

“You’re a sorry excuse of a man, and I’m so happy this night ended the way it did. Now get the fuck out of my house before I get the apartment security on your ass you weird motherfucker” You smiled at him, and blew him a kiss. You watched with pure amusement and a full heart as he muttered cursed at you.

“You’re a fucking whore” He slammed your spare key on your vanity and a few minutes later you heard the door slam shut. At least he had some sense not to try anything stupid.

Realizing what this meant you reached for your phone again. Jack had already responded but you didn’t even bother to read it. Calling his phone as you sat on the bed. The biggest smile on your face your cheeks almost started to hurt.

“Everything okay ma?”

“You got room on that private jet for one more?” You laughed.

[technowoah]

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

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[loousir]

[Satyr} Insecurities

Soft Male Presenting NB Satyr x Male Reader

Dakota

Warnings: Dakota get comforted by you after a sudden breakup and you end up confessing, they realized they like you too, mentions of alcohol (tho not explicitly stated other than beer), two faced boyfriend (now ex)

Masterlist

---------------------------------------------------------

Currently, you are on your way to third wheel for your best friend, Dakota. This guy that Dakota was dating was one that you really did not like. He was all sweet and kind around Dakota but the second they turned their back, he was a complete jerk. You knew you should tell Dakota but they just looked so happy being with this guy that you didn't want to ruin this momentary happiness.

Anyhow, both of you were walking down the street to a small yet busy pub that he had asked Dakota to meet. Dakota had asked him if you could come and he said yes but you knew he would have said no if that didn't ruin his "perfect boyfriend" image. You developed feelings for Dakota years ago, long into your friendship with him but you never confessed. You knew they didn't feel the same so you decided to just try to be the very best friend you could be.

Dakota pointed out the place you two were going and you followed them up to the front door. You opened it for them and they almost instantly spot their boyfriend, going over to him and hugging him. You smiled a sad smile and looked at the two before joining them at their table. He had sent Dakota off to get drinks for the three of you. "How have you been (R/n)?" He looks over to you with a not glare for once. "I'm breaking up with him."

Your eyes widened slightly. "What?" He nods. "Yeah I got hit pretty hard in the face with reality after the last time we met." His whole demeanor had changed from what it was before. You tried to say something but Dakota came back with a beer bottle and two glasses. They set one of the glasses down in front of you and handed the bottle to their soon to be ex who's demeanor went back to perfect boyfriend mode.

You smiled at Dakotas smile before taking a drink of what they got you. "Ah, (R/n)! Did you see the new episode yesterday? It was so good!" Dakota said before going on to ramble about bits and pieces. (R/n) smiled and nodded, chatting about said episode with Dakota.

A few minutes had past with the three of you talking before (R/n) decided it was time to bring the bad news. "Dakota." They looked up to (R/n) who looked like he just accidentally kicked a puppy. Dakota noticed and went to grab his hands to ask what's wrong but he pulled away. You looked away out of courtesy but still listened in. "I'm sorry Dakota. I dont think we can be together anymore. Its really me, not you. You've been nothing but good to me and I want you to be happy but it can't be with me."

"Maybe we'll see each other around. Don't worry about paying for drinks, I'll cover it on the way out." He said standing up to leave. Dakota couldn't seem to process what what happening as they watched their now ex-boyfriend walk away. "Kota, let's go." You said standing and grabbing their hand.

They didn't move but instead started to shake slightly. "Dakota, please." You pulled them up and practically dragged them out of the pub and stopped when you were a block away from it. Dakota hadn't said a word but held on tightly to your hand. "Do you wanna go back to your house?" You asked, looking to them. They nodded softly, more hair moving to cover their usually covered eyes.

You squeezed their hand gently as the two of you walked back to Dakotas place. It wasn't too far from the pub so neither of you saw the point in taking the car. After a few minutes of walking, Dakota stopped, making you look back. "Im... S-so sorry... I... I cant..." They tried to say something but ended up almost collapsing, legs shaking like crazy. You caught them before they could and opted to carry them the rest of the way.

Dakota holds onto you and cries into your neck. You gently rub the back of their head and whisper reassuring words into their ears. After a few more minutes of walking, you make it to the house and carefully unlock the door and close it behind you before taking them upstairs to their bedroom. "I'll go grab some water. I'll be right back ok?"

You head back down stairs, lost in thought as you grabbed water from the fridge before heading back up. You didn't expect to see what you did though.

Your body stood ridgid with shock. Standing in front of you, staring back with wild and afraid eyes was your best friend of 5 years. They looked like they were wearing pants but they weren't. Their legs were covered in dark brown fur, same colour as their hair. Your eyes followed the soft digitigrade shape down to the cloven hooves in place of feet. A small tail to match laid tight against their body.

"Dakota..?"

You breathed out hesitantly. They seemed to snap out of whatever trance they were in for a moment and they started to shake. "Hey... Hey whats wrong?" You asked as you very slowly approached them, as if the wrong step could send them sprinting away. They didn't say a word and you eventually got to their side. You very carefully grabbed their hand but they pulled it away faster than you could blink.

They looked at you with such fear that you could barely even tell if it was your sweet Dakota anymore. A tense moment passed as you had seen his eyes for the first time. You gently took their hand again and pressed their palm against your chest. They could feel your heart pounding, theirs was probably just as fast. You and Dakota had this thing where if one of you were panicking, the other would place a hand on the heart of the one whos panicking. It usually ended with a hug but it was really just a comfort thing that Dakota had started with you when they had a panic attack in public. Once they had seemed to realized, some lever must have flipped as they pulled you into a tight hug.

"(Y/n)..."

You hugged them back, gently placing a hand on the back of their head to keep them close. A silent minute had past before you felt your shoulder getting wet again. "I'm so sorry." It was barely a whisper but you heard it. Neither of you said a word after that. Dakota pulled their head out from the crook of your neck and rested their forehead against your chest.

"I didn't want you to find out like this..." Their voice was small as they spoke, hands gripping tightly to the back of your shirt. You carefully set a hand on their cheek, coaxing them to look up to you. Their eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying. The bright green, almost yellow irises stood out against their pink-ish scleras. "Your eyes are so beautiful." You mumbled out without thinking.

Dakota blushed and looked away. "I know you probably don't wanna talk so let's sit down and I'll go first." You lead them over to the bed and both of you sat down. "Judging by your reaction you didn't want me knowing about the whole... Lower half thing." You paused to look at Dakota who nodded. "Sorry." You said, still processing everything. Dakota shook their head. "N-no... I..."

"I don't know what to say..." Dakota said with a heavy sigh. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything-" They cut you off before you could continue. "(Y/n) I've lied to you for 5 years about it! Of course I have to say something!" You looked away from them and sighed. "I would be lying if I said it didn't upset me that you never told me what you were." Without hesitation, you grabbed Dakotas hand again, staring at it as they let you intertwine your fingers. "But I always had a feeling you weren't exactly human anyways... Of course I wanted to know but I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around me."

Dakota looked to your eyes, tears welling up in theirs again. You could see that they wanted to apologize for not saying anything but you just shook your head. "Kota, I could care less that your a Satyr. If anything I like you even more." You mumbled the last part but they still heard it anyway, signaled by the blush that rose to their cheeks yet again. Dakota placed their free hand on your cheek and made you look back to them.

"I love you so fucking much Kota. You don't even know. I'm sorry. This is probably a lot on top of me finding out about probably your biggest secret and the... Y'know." Dakota shook their head. "Its all been so overwhelming. I'm honestly surprised I haven't passed out yet." You let a small huff of a laugh pass as they pulled your face closer to theirs. "You seemed to have calmed down a lot." You mumbled out.

Dakota nodded. "Yeah. I guess I'm... Relieved... I've known you long enough that I know you when you aren't feigning truths." They pause for a moment. You took this moment to observe their tear stained face. "(Y/n). I dont ever want you to leave me." Their voice had been shaky since you found out about them being a Satyr but it was even worse when they said that. "I couldn't truly live if you weren't in my life Kota."

They looked at you with wide eyes. "Sorry, said something weird didnt-" You were cut off by a pair of soft lips against yours. You carefully kissed back, tangling your hand in their soft, fuffy hair. The second both of you pulled away, Dakota smiled and pulled you into a tight hug. "Kota-" "I think him breaking up with me was the best decision ever." You furrowed your brows, really confused.

"What? Why? I though you two were happy together." Dakota nodded. "I was happy. But I also saw how unhappy you were. A-and it made me realize... Just how much I wanted to make you happy because you make me happy." You couldn't say anything but just looked at them with surprise. "Can I... Can I kiss you?" You asked quietly. Dakota laughed and nodded, pulling you into a kiss.

Your hands decided to test the waters a bit and you gently ran a hand through the soft fur that coat their leg. They shivered and gripped onto your shirt, leaning into the kiss more. You pulled away and let your hand linger on their thigh. "Did... Did you really mean it when you said that you liked me more knowing I was a Satyr?" You blushed and laughed awkwardly while looking away. "Yeah... I didn't realize I said that out loud."

Dakota let out a gentle laugh and pulled you into a tight hug. "Let's take a nap, I'm tired after crying so much..." You nodded and kissed their neck softly as the two of you laid down.

"Please stay by my side."

I originally started this one shot at the paragraph that starts at "Your body stood ridgid with shock." so sorry if everything above it seemed weird-

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1890

[peachiimilquetea]

something angsty with tenya leaving fem reader for the event? ty! prompt: “you can’t leave me. i don’t know how to survive without you.”

“𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞. 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮.” + tenya iida

a/n: bro… i don’t really like angst without the potential for a somewhat happy ending so i hope you’re ok with the fact that it’s not completely sad. i did pull on the heartstrings quite a bit tho, i hope you enjoy! check out the event here

contains: angst (obviously), iida being heavily influenced by his family, tensei to the rescue lowkey, crying, insecurities, mentions of alcohol, ambiguous ending, miscommunication

length: 2.0k

at first things had started off small.

iida worked long hours as the work of his brother’s hero agency fell on his shoulders. he tried his best to make time for you, but it always felt like your schedules could never line up just right.

you tried to work something out, quick calls on break times and cute messages around the house to remind you of one another, but most efforts fell flat.

then things started to get worse.

long and empty nights were spent building up resentment towards the man you had married. he was always doing something, something that took precedence over the vows you made when you walked down the isle no more than three years ago.

you knew his family didn’t like you that much, feeling that a marriage for love was a waste of such a powerful commitment. a commitment that could built them an empire, and boost the rank of their hero agency, solidifying a legacy for them.

tenya defied them for you, boldly declaring that he would marry whoever he wanted and that you were in it for the long haul. you were the girl of his dreams, he said, and anything that got in the way of his happiness was not something he would subscribe to. that only made them hate you more.

so when his texts of encouragement grew shorter and more sparse, and he began to have more special responsibilities bestowed upon him by none other than his father, you knew it was on purpose.

unfortunately, it was an effective strategy to chip away at a young and unseasoned marriage.

“tenya can you please just check your schedule? i really want to spend more time with you.”

he sighed and rubbed his temples as he sat in his office. why were you bothering him with something so insignificant? you knew how important this transition of power was for the iida family, for the legacy of ingenium, but you still persisted.

he could feel the anger beginning to build until he looked in your eyes and saw the sadness brimming in them. his heart squeezed in his chest as he watched you, his wife, plead with him to spend time together. when had things come to this?

“i’ll try my best, but i cant promise anything.”

at this point, that was better than anything you could’ve hoped for.

with a kiss to his forehead you left him alone to get the heaps of paperwork he had to do, spirits lifted at the prospect of spending time with him again. just like the way it used to be.

you checked the time on the microwave for the 9th time. fifty-seven minutes had passed and your husband was officially late.

you should have seen it coming really, empty promises were becoming more and more common amongst the two of you. he would promise to try harder and you would promise to cut him more slack, the constant push and pull never being enough for either party.

getting up from the barstool at your kitchen island you made your way to the wine cooler to get a drink. not even bothering to pick up a glass you slumped on the couch, kicking off your shoes and splaying yourself out, just wanting the cushions to swallow you whole and dull the aching in your heart.

he wasn’t coming.

he was never coming.

you laid passed out on the couch when iida finally came home 2 hours later. he was only stopping by for a quick break, then going back out on patrol and he completely forgot about the things he said, smiling through tired eyes as he thought, this time i’ll make it up to her.

at the very least he could clean you up and tuck you in. he could brace himself for the impending fight later, but he was concerned about you. you never drank, not unless there was something wrong.

iida easily hoisted you up over his shoulder, discarding the various wine bottles and taking you to your shared room, although he wasn't sure if it was still considered shared anymore.

he laid you on the bed softly, changing you into one of his old shirts. his fingers ghosted over your cheek as he watched you sleep, the reality of where he was sitting heavy on his heart.

he loved you and yet there was nothing he could do to help at this moment. he had to leave for night patrol. he had to leave you.

his gentle touches roused you from your sleep and your eyes felt heavy as you tried to blink them open.

“you came?” you breathed, voice sounding foreign even to yourself.

iida gave you a small smile, “im sorry.”

your demeanor did a 180 at his apology. he was sorry. he was always sorry. but sorry couldn’t fix this. not when it had been so broken.

you winced and sat up, “sorry for what? sorry that you broke your promise for the thousandth time or sorry that you’ve been such a shit husband for the past few months?!”

“______-”

“no tenya. you do this every single time! every time i want to spend time with you theres always something more important! what could be more important than your wife?!”

“______ you know my father-”

you laughed bitterly at the mention of his dad. he always had to be such a good little iida child, always on daddy’s beck and call. it made you sick.

“your father doesn’t even want us to be together! cant you see that he’s doing this on purpose! youre a grown man! not a child permanently tied to his mommy and daddy!” you spat

“hes giving more responsibility for the sake of the agency! for the ingenium legacy! why are you always so selfish when it comes to these things?”

“selfish? selfish?” you asked, incredulous. you couldn’t believe your ears.

“yes selfish. do you know how much i sacrificed to be with you? how much i already have on my plate on top of trying my best to make time for you?”

you stared in astonishment.

sacrifice?

what had he sacrificed for this relationship? he got to do what he wanted, come and go as he pleased with virtually no regard for how you felt or what you did. what sacrifice was there in that way of living?

“fuck you, tenya.”

tenya took a deep breath and ran his hand down his face. he chose his words carefully before finally saying, “i cant do this. im leaving.”

you could hear a pin drop in the room. you felt your blood pound in your ears as you stood up quickly, dizzy from the alcohol but still trying to process the words you had just heard.

leaving?

“youre leaving?”

“yes, i have to go. im not doing this with you, not now.”

your heart felt like it had been smashed by a sledgehammer, as you tried to regulate your breathing. leaving. he was leaving.

“w-wait,” you feebly attempted to cling onto him as he gathered a few of his things.

“tenya you cant leave me.”

“_____ i do not want to do this right now,” he sighed, easily shaking you off and moving to collect more things. his words were buzzing around on the inside of your skull. he was leaving.

leaving without so much of a second thought. he had been planning this. still unsteady on your feet you hobbled after him as quickly as possible, desperation taking over every fiber of your body. you didn't want to lose him, you just wanted your husband back, you happiness back.

“y-you cant do that! you cant leave me! i dont know how to survive without you, tenya, please-”

“_____, just go to bed. you’re drunk.”

you trailed him around the house,“no, you don’t get to decide when this is over. i'm the one whos been hurting for months you cannot just leave me by myself.”

iida spared you one last glance before grabbing his bag, “goodbye, _____”

crushed, you sank to your knees, leaning on the couch for support. you felt like you were dying., hell, you probably were dying. you had never had so much to drink in your life, and you were desperate to make the pounding pain in your chest stop.

you cried yourself to sleep that night, waking up to the sunlight coming through the window with a splitting headache. you felt like your skull was trying to crack itself open from the inside but you shakily got to your feet, remembering bits and pieces from your fight with iida.

you could tell he didn't come home last night; everything was exactly the way you had left it last night. the house alarm was still on, and his shoes were gone.

he actually left.

anger bubbled in your chest as you thought about what had actually happened. you would not let him get the last laugh, or be the last one left, the one waiting on him patiently to pick up the pieces after trying to keep it together. you would leave too, as much as it hurt, and show him just how selfish you could be.

in a flash, you haphazardly packed a bag with essentials and had texted your friends that you needed a place to stay for a few days. you didn’t get into specifics- your heart ached too much to relive the events of the previous night- but you told them you had reached your limit and you needed to take some time to cool off.

alternatively, iida did not sleep that night. after finishing patrols, he stayed at his brother’s apartment out of pure convenience, not feeling prepared to face you after everything that had transpired between the two of you.

the dark-haired man laid staring at the ceiling of tensei’s guest bedroom, wracking his brain and trying to pinpoint how things had gone south so fast. he wanted to fix things, but really didn’t know how. he couldn’t even tell you what was broken, let alone how to begin to fix them.

his brother had tried to give him advice after listening to the entire story, but there was only so much he could do. he knew that you were right, their father was keeping him from you on purpose, slowly making tenya think that he was in the right in an attempt to break you up, but he couldn't be the one to tell him.

tenya had to come to that conclusion himself. he needed to be the one to set boundaries and save your relationship, but from the looks of it, soon any attempts would be futile.

“_____? darling?” iida called as he came into your home. immediately noticing your missing shoes, he moved to the bedroom in a flash, checking to see if you had just moved them or something.

the room was a mess, drawers left open and clothing strewn across the bed and floor. the bathroom had been cleared of almost all your essentials, and a note was left on the dresser. gingerly, iida picked it up and read it, offering up a silent prayer that it didn't say what he thought it did.

i don't know when you'll see this, or if you ever will. if you're reading it, that means you came back home but you will not find me there.

im tired, tenya.

im tired of always being the one to extend the olive branch or bend over backwards for you.

i refuse to be in that position any longer. i love you… i love you so much it hurts sometimes because i know this isn't the way things were supposed to be. but you left, and so i decided to leave too.

if a way to fix things exists, i want us to find it, but right now i need some time to reevaluate us and what that means. i hope you understand, i know you will.

if you want to reach out, im open to talking about this further, but for right now i need to think.

goodbye.

--------

[danniburgh]

Rushingly Bittersweet (Javier Peña x f!reader) part 23

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc//f!reader with name.

Summary: After the fall of Escobar everything starts happening way too fast for Javier; his raise, his new office, his new team, the Cali cartel’s operation, the sudden arrival of a new agent that was transferred to his team for no apparent reason, the way he was falling in love with her almost unintentionally.

And he couldn’t seem to stop any of that.

Word count: +6.4k

Chapter warnings: lmao angst and then fluff, a brief mention of food, and drugs and a dog.

A/N: This chapter is set after season three. // aAAAAAA this is so long i dont even why but it took me like ALL day FUCK FUCK FUCK anyway thanks to all my babies that got me through the desperation of wanting this to write itself lmao, also two chapters and we are DONE with the main story holy shit

ao3 // fic index // Masterlist // fic playlist

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓 let me know if you wanna be tagged

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gifs: @pascalsky

Javier groaned when he sat up and moved his legs to get them out of the bed and looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand; three forty-eight in the morning. He turned on the lamp, reached at his nape and scratched with blunt nails and reached for the pack of smokes that he left on the nightstand before laying down to try to sleep with the other hand.

He pulled the last one out of the pack and stood up to throw the empty carton in the trashcan near the door; he eyed the empty pack from the day before in the bottom of the can with the cigarette clinging to his lips thanks to near dry spit making them sticky and let out a deep sigh.

It wasn’t working.

His tongue moved to shift the cigarette from his lips and he let it fall inside the trashcan, knowing it wouldn’t be the last one he put between his lips, but at least he didn’t light it.

Javier thought of getting out of the room and raiding his dad’s bar again, but he knew it wouldn’t do him any good.

It wasn’t working.

He knew it, and it couldn't be denied any longer. He wasn’t getting any younger and his old ways weren’t helping him forget as they used to ten or fifteen years before.

Javier walked back to the bed and sat on the edge, letting his half naked body fall backwards on the mattress and looking at the ceiling, he felt his hand twitch and he felt it empty without a nicotine stick firmly pressed between his index and his thumb but did nothing to calm it down.

Ten or fifteen years before: had it really been that long? Javier huffed at nothing and scratched his chest, leaving his hand there, uselessly wondering what would it be of him if he did something different; incidentally working through years and years of missteps, mishappens, mistakes, and shaping them in some other way that would have saved him from five months of poor sleep and constant drunkenness, five months of chain-smoking and lack of sharpness, five months of only remembering the bad things he had done and the bad things he deserved.

He huffed again because of course his retirement wouldn’t be him sitting on a porch to enjoy the evening Texas breeze and a glass of scotch; even if he had tried it.

It was having nightmares every third night he wanted nothing but to shove deep inside his head, but that then, reluctantly, he had to tell his new therapist his dad had forced him to go to.

It was having to remember all the men he saw dying every time he heard the words war or coke or shooting. Having to remember them changing and fighting and dying for a cause he wasn’t sure if he still believed in. Having to remember Carrillo every time he and Steve talked on the phone.

It was remembering you each time someone sent him a letter congratulating his work or asking for consultation or asking for an interview; because he had an idea of what you had been through and he was sure he didn’t deserve all that claptrap. He did nothing but cause chaos and destruction and death and even though his therapist said it wasn’t his fault he knew it was because he aided for it to happen.

But you? You did everything you could to find yourself a way to recover what was yours, and you still lost it.

Javier sat up again and after six exact seconds of consideration, he leaned forward and opened his nightstand drawer. He took the black tape he had been clinging to for five months and held it in front of him for a couple of minutes.

He chuckled at himself and gripped the small cassette, took from the drawer his tape player, pressed the red button for it to open, let the tape fall in the slit and closed it, turned it on and rewinded the tape, trying to make the calculations in his head of how many times he had repeated that process as the tape ran to the beginning.

He put the headphones on, laid down back on the bed and pressed play.

“Hi, Javi, uhm…”

God, how he missed you.

The phone rang again, fuck the phone, you thought, and hid your face under a pillow, trying to fall asleep again despite the clear signal that you were no longer sleepy.

And the phone rang again, you lifted your head from the cocoon of pillows and eyed the clock on your nightstand, who was calling you at five seventeen in the morning?

Grunting, you got out of the bed and walked out of the bedroom to the small space that made your living room, dining room and kitchen and got to the phone.

“Hello?” your voice was a deep groan, and you cleared your throat.

“Another letter came for you, when are you gonna change your address?” your dad’s voice broke through the receiver and you closed your eyes, breathing in and out the stress it was already provoking in you.

“I’ll get to it, dad,” you replied “are you gonna send it to me or can I go to the house?” you questioned, feeling already your lower lip tremble.

“I’ll send it, your mom doesn’t wanna see you yet,” he let out in a stern voice “sorry, pumpkin.” he whispered and hung up the phone.

You sat on the armrest of the loveseat next to the phone and let your tears fall from your eyes, not even bothering about cleaning them anymore.

You sighed and nodded to yourself, letting your tired gaze roam around your tiny living space and you missed the openness of your family house, the one you had come back to and were expelled from by an angry mother that felt ashamed of the truth you told them.

But you had to give it to her, she didn’t even know you went down to Colombia, or that you’d been having drug issues, or that they fired you.

She had told you she didn’t know who you were anymore.

Neither did you.

So you left, they couldn’t be more disappointed in you than you were in yourself, so you walked out as your mom wanted and tried to find a home for yourself as you still wondered what the hell were you supposed to do. There wasn’t a handbook or a protocol that taught people how to stop being a DEA agent, the government didn’t train people to go back to civility or even offered a program to forget all the shit you had lived in the places they had sent you.

You stayed in your hometown, unknowingly to your old friends and twenty minutes away from your parent’s home and didn’t leave your house unless absolutely necessary; Albuquerque wasn’t a small town, but it wasn’t big, and you were dreading walking past someone who knew you before you had lost yourself and tried to explain all your baggage, you didn’t have the time, or the energy. And you didn’t want people feeling sorry for yourself, with the woman in the mirror you had enough.

Everything seemed pointless, and you felt heavy all the time, as if you were carrying a chain ball in each foot and shackles in your hands while being dragged down by quicksand.

In the kitchen's corner you saw the last two boxes you still didn’t have energy to unpack after moving them across the continent and let out a teary sight as you stood from the armrest and walked to them.

You opened the first box and saw it filled with office clutter; pencils, markers, some notebooks and notepads, the brown journal you had been looking for to burn on your stove; a set of keys you weren’t sure what they opened and in the bottom, folded pieces of paper.

“Oh, no.” you muttered to the air of the warm kitchen and you doubted reaching in for it… The hesitation lasted two minutes but for you it was like two hours, you knew what it was, you knew why it was in that box and when you took it it felt hot and heavy. You were holding feelings in that letter, you were holding hours of shed tears and memories you didn’t want to have anymore. Memories that still haunted you whenever you smelled roasted colombian coffee and saw an ad of Malduros on tv.

You didn’t open it. You knew what was written there. And for a few seconds you thought of burning it on the stove instead.

“Well, I don’t want this, might as well send it.” you muttered under your breath, recognizing it would do you some good to stop holding to it, acknowledging it would do you some good to know he had it. If he wanted to rip it into millions of pieces or burn it or toss it in the trash or eat it, it was his problem.

You bit your lip as you walked to the phone; you hadn’t thought of him in a while. But as you sat on the loveseat all the shit you wanted to bury if not get rid of came back to your mind like a high wave of a rough sea; sharp, cold, gritty.

“Shit.” you gasped, trying to breathe in and out several times because you didn’t want to cry. It was too early for crying.

You grabbed the phone and thought who could have Javier’s address. God, even thinking of his name made your chest flutter and your stomach churn. You had fooled yourself into thinking he didn’t have an effect on you anymore, into even assuring five months was enough to forget him. What a fool.

You dialed the number of the only person you knew for sure knew the address by heart; the phone rang three times before it was answered.

“Hello?” a sleepy nasal voice greeted, and you smiled through the few tears that had accumulated in your eyes, grateful that he still had his embassy issued cell phone.

“Stod!” your smile was making your cheeks hurt, and you wondered in the back of your head when was the last time you had smiled.

“Who’s this? Flor?” he asked and you let out a stiff chuckle. You decided not to be a huge asshole and dump something heavy as your actual name that early in the morning, so you went with it.

“Yeah, sorry to call at this hour, did I wake you?” you played with the edge of the loveseat’s armrest.

“Kinda,” a noise of shuffle was heard “but it’s almost seven here, so I’m not that mad,” he teased, making you chuckle again “how are you? to what do I owe the honor?”

“Uhm, I–‌I’m calling to take advantage of you,” you said, hearing his chuckle through the line and a whisper of of course you did, “by any chance do you know Peña’s address in Texas?” you asked, closing your eyes and crossing your fingers, wishing for him to not ask:

“Why?”

“I–‌I have something of his...” you mumbled under your breath “I just found it and I wanna send it.” you said, which wasn’t technically a lie.

“Uh…” Stoddard hesitated, and you heard a faint of a pouring noise in the back that made you sigh, a cup of coffee would do you wonders, “well I do–I don't know if I’m allowed to just say it, y’know?” you frowned.

“Oh, come on, please?” you pleaded, your leg started bouncing because of the anxiety that was growing in your chest.

“What is it? is something important?” he asked.

“Super important,” you nodded even though he couldn’t see, “he needs it.”

“How do you know?” he questioned again, and you whined under your breath.

“Uhm, I ju–‌I just know, uhm…” since when were you a twitchy, nervous mess? “can’t you just tell me?”

“Not really, no.” he muttered in that voice that made you want to punch him and hug him at the same time.

You let out the air of your lungs and controlled your body.

You had promised yourself to tell the truth when it was necessary. So you were going to.

“Look, Stod, this is long to explain, okay?” you began, and he hummed affirmatively in response, “the only thing you need to know is that the thing I have here is very important that he gets because he needs to know that I kept it for him.” you said, closing your eyes again.

“Flor you just told me nothing.” he let out, his voice was being muffled and it sounded like he had something in his mouth.

“Fuck, Stoddard, I love him, okay?” you let out “and this thing I have is a letter that I need him to have so he knows I love him!” you panted and bit your lip when he didn’t answer.

You just had said out loud you loved someone, you just had said to someone you loved Javier Peña for the first time. Shit.

“Oh,” Stoddard said after a moment and you held your breath, “you have where to write?”

“You’re a fucking king!”

Six hours later, you wanted nothing else but to turn the fucking car around.

“This is a mistake, this is a fucking mistake!” you yelled inside your car, opening the glove box to toss there your sunglasses. The highway 285 was eternal, and you hated driving through it; it was empty, there was nothing but desert landscapes and the occasional tree, but you were halfway, just crossing the state border and there was nothing in the everlasting earth that would make you drive back home, not even your fucking hesitation, not even your self-doubt.

“What the fuck am I gonna say?” you asked yourself again, chewing on your lower lip and gripping the steering wheel, “am I just pulling on his driveway and knocking on his door and saying hi I’m sorry I broke your heart I have a letter for you? Fuck!” you saw the beginning of yet another town and you drove slowly looking for a gas station, “or better yet, I read this shit to him to complete the humiliation!” you turned your head for a second at the letter resting easily in the co-pilot’s seat and you groaned, finding a gas station. You were also hungry.

With the car’s tank full and a plastic bag filled with snacks for the remaining six hours, you sighed to yourself and started driving again.

“You’re doing this because you need closure,” you told yourself, shoving your hand into a bag of salted chips and bringing three to your mouth “if he doesn’t wanna see you, too bad, he’s gonna miss your haircut,” you mumbled, chewing at the same time “you leave the letter and let him decide what to do with it.”

With the highway 285 long behind you and the sky just beginning to turn orange, you had convinced yourself of your own reasons and you even had a plan to go back home as soon as you were done in Laredo. You also had promised yourself and all your Muertos, you wouldn’t react to Javier Peña if he didn’t react to you and as you had learned in your three-year station in México, you can’t break a promise you made to dead people.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you said when the marked map told you you were a block away from the Peña’s ranch house, you were chewing the last bit of a nearly melted chocolate bar you had bought hours ago as your nervousness betrayed you and you started chuckling at your impulses, “holy fuck, I wanna go home!”

But you were already there. The gate was open and there were two trucks parked on the driveway. So you sucked everything you were feeling, and you turned off the ignition. Fuck. It.

You breathed in and out several times before you unbuckled your seatbelt, grabbed the letter and opened the door. You did it again as you walked the gravel path to the house and were grateful it was already dark, so at least the night could help you hide until the last second.

You stopped walking, rationality coming back to you.

“What the fuck am I doing?” you whispered to yourself and turned around, shaking your head as you walked back to the car.

“Mija!” you heard behind you, you froze in place and stiffened at the sound of a thick accent in a rough and warm voice.

“Oh, no.” you said under your breath.

“It’s you!” you turned around, and you saw the face of the man you had only met through an old picture Javier carried with him at all times. “viniste.” (you came) behind him walked a black, large dog that ignored the man and huffed at you.

“I’m sorry?” your voice went out thin and high, and you wanted to chastise yourself for it. You had given yourself a seven-hour pep talk on the way, and you were already breaking.

“I told him,” the man rolled his eyes behind the glasses he was wearing and gestured for you to walk closer “Jesús Peña, nice to finally meet you,” he extended his hand to you and you took it and shook it, the dog got closer to you and smelled your legs, you tried to smile at him and at the dog but tears were already gathering inside your eyes “le dije que ibas a venir a buscarlo.” (I told him you’ll come looking for him)

“I’m sorry, Mr. Peña, I–‌I do–‌”

“Mr. Peña nada,” he interrupted, “call me Chucho,” you nodded and sniffed slightly “ven,” (come) he gestured again and started walking towards the house, “Pepe, métete.” (get inside) he called, and the dog trotted to his side.

“Wait, Chucho, wait!” you called him under your breath as you followed him, he didn’t stop.

“Come on in,” he opened the house door and waited for you to get inside. He nodded his head for you to walk in and you frowned.

“You don’t even know who I am, what ar–‌”

“I know enough,” he said solemnly, walked inside and you and the dog did too and he pointed to an armchair “siéntate, mija, he’s on the back.” he turned around and walked through an archway to what it looked like the kitchen and disappeared through a door, Pepe behind him.

“What the fuck.” you sobbed out, knowing you had little time to leave the letter you were clutching in your hands on the coffee table in front of you and walk out and leave for good. But you couldn’t move, you were in Javier’s house and you wanted to stop being there, but your body was frozen in place and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. You wanted to scream at yourself, at your fucking impulses; you had all the opportunities to turn around and go back home, why didn’t you listen to your logical, rational, always right brain?

“Hi.” you heard behind your back and you covered your mouth with the hand that wasn’t holding the fucking letter.

You turned around and blinked the first two tears of what you already knew was going to be a sea of them.

He was wearing the red shirt. And God, it was his color.

Javier wanted to run away and hide.

He had just made peace with never seeing you again; he had just accepted that the only part he would have of you was that voice mail you had left him months before. But there you were, teary and gorgeous in front of him. Shaking and with your hands holding a piece of paper as if it were your lifeline.

His head was a contradiction, because he wanted to grab you and hug you all the same he wanted to grab you and shove you out of his house and his life.

“What are you doing here?” Javier asked, knowing deep inside him he wanted to tell you how good you looked and how much he liked your new hair. You let out a shaky breath at his deep voice. You had missed it.

It was the first time you saw him in five months, and the weight of your feelings for him fell again on your shoulders like a recently broken off boulder, heavy, rough edged and shapeless.

“I don’t know.” you answered truthfully, he sighed and deviated his eyes from you, you breathed in heavily and the only thing that got into your lungs was his essence. You cursed under your breath and he huffed, putting his hands on his hips and leaning to the side.

“How d'you found me?” he questioned, and you huffed through the tears.

“I have my resources.” you let out on a whisper. Trying to find his eyes, you needed to see his eyes.

“What do you want?” Javier asked again, and you deflated at the tone of his voice. The rational part of your brain yelled I told you so at your feelings and you knew it was right, you were expecting too much of yourself and of him.

“See you,” you bit your lower lip and Javier saw from the corner of his eyes how you scrunched up your nose, and he felt something inside his chest flutter, hating and loving all the same how much of you he still had stored inside his memory, “I have something for you.”

“Keep it.” he let out. You shook your head and raised your hand with the letter on it.

“Read it.” you half ordered, half pleaded, Javier chuckled and then shook his head, mimicking you.

“I don’t want it.” he knew he was lying to himself, he wanted to know what it was, he wanted to grip it and smell the paper and read it over and over but his body wasn’t responding to what his feelings were telling him and only responded, almost in automatic, to his prideful side, to that side of him that still resented you and himself.

“Alright then,” you said, standing straight after realizing you had regained the ability to read him even through your tears, and understanding there was something he was struggling with, “I’ll read it.”

“Stop.” Javier frowned and looked at you, his eyes pleading for you to do something you couldn’t decipher.

“I know, okay?” you said, trying to reassure him and yourself “I know I’m in no position to ask for shit,” Javier dropped his hands to the sides “but I just want ten minutes, just ten of your life, and you’ll never have to see me again if that’s what you want.”

You knew it was a risky thing to say, but you needed him to know, you needed him to understand you because you knew and he knew you did understand him. And he needed to know you. You and your version.

He said nothing, you took it as his queue to start so you breathed in deeply and unfolded the letter.

“Stop.” Javier said under his breath.

“No,” you wiped a tear off your cheek “I wrote this when I went back to Colombia after I got fired,” Javier looked at you and you saw his face quirk in something close to pain “uhm, before I wrote this I drove around Bogotá,” you recalled that last day in the city and how much it pained you to be there, “I went–‌I went to some of the places you told me you liked” you tried to smile and dropped your eyes to your shoes, trying to find something to cling to and compose yourself “even that little cafe you told me about, near the palace of justice, remember?” you sobbed out. And he called your name. Making you gasp.

“Stop,” you looked up at him and saw him frowning, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, “we don’t need this.”

“I do!” you let out, Javier brushed his lips with his thumb and felt his hand twitch in need of nicotine again “I need to tell you all this!” you wiped your tears away again “I need closure!” you cried out.

Javier felt his stomach turn around and all the blood of his body went to his feet. Fuck. 

How could he had been so stupid? he got into his own feelings too much and he forgot that you had cried your eyes out to him all those months ago when you handed him everything you were in a couple of manila folders. He had gotten wrapped by his own feelings and the hurricane your declaration had created in his life that he had forgotten just how much you were suffering as well. Because he might have thought about you; all the time, every day; he thought about your past and your reasons and motivations. He even thought of you naked on his bed in Colombia, under his body, moaning and gasping when he needed some release, but he forgot to think about your feelings.

“I didn’t come here to ask for forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve it,” you said and Javier felt the wetness of a tear escaping his eye and making its way through his cheek, “I’m trying to get closure, Javier, please let me try.”

Javier nodded.

You cried more when you saw him brush a tear off with his thumb and chew the inside of his mouth. You wanted to run away; you were sure he was better before you came to his house and disrupted his peace; you were hurting him again, and you wanted to kneel in front of him and ask him for what you said you weren’t seeking. He made you want so much.

You sniffed and dropped your eyes to the open letter in your hand, Javier didn’t move from where he was standing.

“No amount of guilt will or can change the past,” you began, Javier crossed his arms on his chest and saw movement to his side, “that much I know. I kno–‌know that it doesn’t matter,” you sniffed again and Javier turned his head to watch the dog casually walking towards him and sitting next to his boots. You saw it too, and you let out a sad chuckle.

“Ignore him.” he just said. You nodded.

“Uhm, it doesn’t matter how much I apologize, or how many I’m sorry’s I mouth, forgiveness doesn’t come for free.” you didn’t want to lift your eyes to see him, so you continued.

Javier only saw you reading him something he was sure you had poured your heart into, and he wanted nothing but to hear what you wanted to say to him, but he couldn’t focus into listening, because there you were, again in front of him doing what he never dared to do.

Opening your fucking chest, taking your heart out and giving it raw to him.

“...knowing and realizing and acknowledging just how much I love you.”

Javier drowned a gasp, as he fell in love with you all over again, you were doing what he didn’t have the balls to do, because in his sleepless sleep he wanted to look for you, in the middle of his idle nights, just after waking up after a nightmare, he wanted to find you and go to you and tell you whatever the fuck he could to be back with you. But he never did, he never did because he was a coward, because he feared his own feelings so fucking much.

He couldn't hear anything of it after your declaration of love. God, how much he loved you. You were standing there, with your eternally hopeful eyes filled with crystalline tears and several pages of written feelings. And he realized, there, with you in the middle of his living room, shifting to the next page, that even though you were extremely similar, you were also very different.

“...with you I found a reason to give up after all the shit I've lived in…” you muttered and he found the differences inside him; you were braver than him, you were smarter and more connected with what you felt; you weren’t scared of your feelings as he was. You went for what you wanted and even though it had been five months of that dreadful day when he saw his heart squeezed out of his body by your hesitant hand, that day he still replayed inside his head when the day was just over and his brain was floating between sleep and awakeness, he still wondered why you were bothering.

“There were so many things I thought…” you kept reading as he wondered if it was possible for the two of you to connect with each other outside of shared trauma and sympathy for each other’s experiences. But he answered to himself that even if you two weren’t as emotionally available as you needed to be to build a relationship or if you both were having a hard time adapting to be and live out of the system, maybe the love was real.

You stopped reading after noticing he was just standing there with his arms crossed and his eyes on you but not seeing you; you wiped the last of your tears and chuckled bitterly to yourself. Making him blink a few times.

“Fuck this,” you crumpled the pages in your hands and dropped them on the coffee table, shaking your head. Javier frowned, “it doesn’t matter what I read, I shouldn’t have come.” you said, drowning your sobs and gasping for air. He wasn’t paying attention, and nothing about it was making you feel any better about anything.

“What?” Javier whispered, dropping his hands to his sides.

“A’right, then…” you didn’t look at him and tried to control your breathing again “I guess that’s what I wanted to do,” you walked to the door and opened it, Javier wanted to ask what the fuck was happening, he wanted to grab your arm and stop you as he didn’t do it when you were leaving his office back in Colombia “I’m sorry to have bothered you, Javier,” he winced slightly involuntarily at the way you sobbed out his name “I’ll go.”

You walked out of the house covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your sobs, your rational brain was right, it was a mistake; it was a complete and utter mistake, and you were so ashamed of yourself for even thinking it would change anything. You walked to your car feeling the sharp, stinging sensation of a migraine settling in your head. You heard steps behind you and you turned around slowly, not wanting to put hope on the source being Javier.

“Mija,” you look at Chucho trying to catch up with you, “¿a dónde vas?” (where are you going?)

“I’m going home.” you said, shrugging at the man when he stopped in front of you.

“Why?” he asked, frowning.

“Because he said nothing, Chucho,” you bit your lip and looked at the Texan night sky and huffed at yourself, “he said nothing.”

“But he wants you, mija!” he assured you, and you shook your head several times.

“If he wants me as you say,” you pointed towards the house behind him, “then how come I’m not with him?” you reasoned, “he doesn’t want me.”

You dropped your eyes to the gravel path as Chucho sighed and raised his hand to squeeze your shoulder just enough for you to feel less sad. Just how a father would do.

Chucho glared at the house, the door open and Pepe standing in the threshold; his son had been back for months, he had been living next to him, eating next to him, working next to him and breathing next to him just as he did before he went away but he knew, just like a father could, he was not the same man that left.

He reminisced over the muchacho his son was before he left Laredo, so eager to get out of the small town he grew up in and that harbored his family home, so anxious to meet new horizons, so keen to find and explore new places and learn new things; he sometimes found himself missing that boy, he sometimes missed his Javi; the one that helped him build a paddock for his own horse, the one that washed his truck without asking and without failing each friday evening, the one that took care of his Mamá’s funeral at sixteen when himself was too sad to think about coffins or tombstones; because the man that came back to him after almost two decades too far away from home wasn’t the same.

He had seen and done things that Chucho never wanted to to ask about but he imagined, his Javier wasn’t the same. And Chucho knew why, but he also knew about you. Javi had talked about you way too much for his own good, as he did everything. And Chucho also knew why, he wasn’t letting the woman that made his son come back home run away.

“He does want you,” he said, slowly, with a low voice, as if it were a secret, “mijo… es un idiota a veces, but he loves you.” (he’s an idiot sometimes)

“You don’t know that.” you refuted.

“I do,” he gave you a smile that was barely visible under the white mustache “el te ama, y yo…” (he loves you, and I…) “I’m so grateful.” you shook your head as two thick tears left your eyes.

“I broke his heart.” you sobbed out.

“Y me lo trajiste a casa, Florecita” (and you brought him home to me, little flower) you sobbed harder, not able to control it anymore, and he brought you to him, and held you.

“He told you my fake name?” you asked between sobs.

“He told me what you look like.” he muttered.

“I’m so sorry.” you let yourself be wrapped by him and you hid your face on his shoulder.

“Don’t be, without you I would’ve lost my only child.” you held him tighter.

“Please.” you pleaded for nothing and everything at the same time.

“You gotta fight for him, mija.” he muttered to your ear, and you shook your head, still leaning into him.

“I’m fighting for him!” you almost yelled “I’m here, aren’t I?” you lifted your head to look at the man and you gasped for air, dropping your hands to your sides “I drove almost thirteen hours non-stop all the way from Albuquerque just to be here!” you told him and the man stiffened as you lost your shit in front of him, you gripped your head between your hands “thirteen hours to read him that stupid letter and he didn’t say shit!”

“You did what?” you heard and lifted your head to see Javier standing behind his dad.

Chucho looked at Javier and then at you with your cheeks dampened with tears. He squeezed your shoulder again and turned to walk to the house.

“You were in Albuquerque all this time?” he said, and you nodded, noticing he was holding the letter in his hand “when you said you’d go you meant back there?” he frowned in confusion.

“Well, yeah, I have nowhere to stay so I might as well drive home.” you muttered, Javier’s frown deepened, and he stepped towards you.

“Stay here,” he said, “if you wanna leave you leave in the morning.” his voice was thin and low. You looked at his eyes and saw them reddened and wet.

“Did you read it?” you whispered out. He stepped towards you again, nodding.

“Stay.” he whispered back.

“You don’t want me.” you said under your breath as shook your head and he stepped closer.

“Who says that?” he asked, and you looked at the gravel path again.

“I won’t stay.” you felt Javier’s warm fingers graze under your chin and lift your head to him slowly.

“Don’t be so stubborn,” he chastised you with half a smirk forming on his lips “stay with us.” you shook your head again.

“You don’t want me here but you want me to stay,” you said, frowning at him “Javier you can’t have it bo–‌”

“I want you to stay,” he interrupted you “I want you to stay with me,” he whispered as his fingers moved to your cheek and wiped away a tear. “please.”

Javier had read your letter after you walked out and realized, at the prospect of you leaving for what it seemed like forever, at the possibility of you leaving him for good and he never getting to see you or your gorgeous face or your hypnotizing eyes or hearing your voice that did so many things on him, that the balance of his other losses leaned upwards when he weighed the probability of losing you.

Did he care about what you did? of course he did, it still stung sometimes deep inside his chest, it still filled him with something close to grief.

Was he willing to work it out and let it aside because he didn’t want to feel the agony and deep sorrow of not having you by his side he had been feeling for the last five months again? yes.

And the answer to that question inside his head startled him and shook him deeply.

You were there. God, you were there, there was no way he was going to let you leave.

Javier decided you could work it out later, he loved you way too much not to try. He didn’t even plan to love you the way he did, the way he discovered by reading that letter or remembering the man he was without you. He didn’t even plan to love you at all, but he did. He was madly, insanely, deeply in love with you.

Javier moved his hand to your shoulder and let the one holding the letter find its way to your waist. Find its way home.

“Don’t go.” he whispered again. He moved the last step to wrap his hands around you. You let out a low yelp at the feeling of his body so close to you, for a second you froze in place, your eyes closed and his warmth invaded your entire body as he hid his head in the crook of your neck. He inhaled your essence as you hugged him back and gripped him tightly against you.

Javier felt as if all his parts were being glued back together.

“Stay with me.” he whispered against the skin of your neck.

So you stayed.

←previous // next→

*THE LETTER*

Pepe:

pedrito's perma list: @queenofthefaceless​ @northernpunk​ @pascalesque​ @sleep-tight1​ @cheekygeek05​ @bii-aan-ckaa​ @letaliabane​ @starlightmornings​ @mouthymandalorianalso​ @supernaturalgirl​ @metalarmsandmanbuns​ @purplepascal042​ @asta-lily​ @greeneyedblondie44​ @missswriter​ @juletheghoul​ @pedro-pastel​ @agirllovespancakes​

Javi's babies: @pulplorrd​

RushBit tag list: @shestillwrites1​ @alliterative-albatross​ @absurdthirst​ @thoughtfulpandawasteland​ @wifeofdindjarin​ @lank-sextburg @the-ginger-hedge-witch​ @helloannbananalove​ @diogodxlot​ @pascalslittlebrat​ @sarahjkl82-blog​ @pedritobalmando​ @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan​ @mamacitapascal​ @dobbyjen​ @callsigncatfish​ @feminist-violinist​ @jasmincita​ @pascalove​ @eury-dice3​ @gingaahhhh @athalien​

[dreamkidddream]

Hello there! I totally agree Kunikida is soooo underrated!! one of the best BSD charatcters in my opinion! do you still take requests? if so, could you write a Kunikida story with Quote number 14 please? He deserves so much love, but if the requests are closed it's okay dont worry omg I understand you have many requests already! take care <3

Kunikida finally getting the love he deserves >>>>>>> literally anything else. This got a little shorter than usual so hope that’s okay. Thank you guys for requesting and liking my work 🥺💚💚 reader is gender neutral!

Prompt: “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.” with Kunikida!

You don’t know if you can do this.

“(Y/N) pl-please, just listen”, a harsh cough erupted from his throat. “I’ll-I’ll be okay, just please, you have to let me go.”

“Kunikida, you know I can’t do that! I won’t leave you! So please...”

His eyes were watery, hair disheveled, bags under his eyes, form shaking and barely standing. He looks like he’ll drop at any second, and you don’t know how much longer he has until he collapses...

“Get back in bed already! I told you that you have to sleep so you cannot go to work today. I already told Fukuzawa, and he said that it’s fine, so go get in the bed!”

Yeah you couldn’t do this. Kunikida, the man who never misses a day of work and who is determined not to, came down with a cold. His body would have been able to fight it off, but after working on this case nonstop for three straight days and cutting back on his sleep every night, his body gave out on him.

Good news: you and the President predicted that he would still try to come to work, so he asked you to stay home and stop him at all costs. Bad news: Kunikida is very determined to go to work, and has not stopped trying to leave the bed every time he wakes up from his naps.

“Please I’m...already late.”

“Kunikida, the day’s already over with and you need sleep.”

“But, I can’t just...abandon my work...the agency...what if-”

“Everything’s okay dear, just lay back down for me. Okay?” His forehead is burning up and he keeps fighting his sleep like a child. Despite how troublesome and stubborn he’s being, you couldn’t help that a little part of you was enjoying taking care of him. You don’t understand why he would be so embarrassed by this (I mean hello, you are his romantic partner after all) but this is Kunikida you’re talking about, so you’re not too surprised.

You know that he’ll be mortified when he remembers this- if he remembers this- but you don’t care.

Also, the fact that he’s acting so clingy and pretty much saying anything that’s on his mind the longer he’s awake isn’t helping his case either (and just making you enjoy this more and more).

“(Y/N)...why don’t you ever call me by my name?”

“Why, are my nicknames not good enough for you?” You were feeding him some homemade soup, making small talk and teasing him to try and keep him awake long enough to eat.

“No, I love it when you use them. But why don’t you ever use my name?”

You weren’t expecting that answer, but a half asleep Kunikida is an honest one, “I do call you by your name Kuni-”

“No. My first name.”

That’s...actually a good question. Why didn’t you call him by his first name? You’ve been thinking about it for a while now, but you’re just so used to calling him Kunikida that it hasn’t crossed your mind yet. Your relationship isn’t new per se, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable or make him feel like he has to do something that he’s not ready for. He does pretty much everything by his notebook, and what if he had it written down when he wants to bring this up? Maybe you’re overthinking it-

“(Y/N), call me...call me Doppo. Please.”

“You sure? Maybe we should wait to talk about this late-”

“I’m sure.”

He gazed at you with so much sincerity in his eyes, his hand laying on top of yours before sliding under to hold it. “I don’t want- I don’t want to wait any longer.”

You could only smile, and lightly squeeze his hand, “Okay, Ku- Doppo.”

You don’t recall ever seeing a smile so bright on his face before, but you wished it happened more often. It just brings a sort of glow to him, one that really suits him. “It’s late, and you need to get some sleep. Call me if you need anything-”

“W-wait!”

You hoped he wasn’t trying to fight his sleep again, “Yeah?”

“Can”, his face was flushed, and not just from his cold. “Can you...c-can you stay the night?” He tighten his hold on you, so scared that you’ll disappear forever if he dares let go. “Only if you’re okay with that, of course!”

Ever the gentleman even when he’s sleep deprived, you couldn’t stop the giggles from escaping your lips. You weren’t leaving anyway, but it was still sweet. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.” He was about to protest that he’s not cute (you’re the cute one, not him!), but he stopped after you brought the blanket over him and took his glasses off his face. “Let me go get changed, and I’ll be back, I promise.”

He heard the door click and felt his head land on the pillows below. He couldn’t believe that someone like you wanted to be with him. Someone so kind, so caring, someone that was so tender and compassionate with him. Words alone can’t describe just how...breathtaking you really are.

It’s no wonder he became so smitten with you.

He could feel his eyes drooping, but he didn’t want to go to sleep yet, he had to wait until he saw you again! You still had to come back, you said you would-

The door clicked open, and you came back changed with your own set of blankets and pillows. You aren’t shocked to see that he’s barely awake, his eyes slid closed with a smile on his face. “You came back...”

“Of course I did, I said I would didn’t I? Now”, you already laid your blankets out on the floor. You would sleep in the same bed, but you two being sick wouldn’t help the situation (as much as you wanted to cuddle, his health comes first). “Goodnight Doppo.”

A yawn left his mouth, “Goodnight (Y/N)...thank you for...everything.”

If you strained your ears hard enough, you could have sworn that you heard him uttered that he loves you, but either way, you fell asleep content.

—-

Kunikida woke up feeling refreshed and clear minded, not having that sluggish feeling anymore. He doesn’t remember parts of yesterday, and the parts that he does remember feels like a dream (were you really calling him by his first name now? Something that he’s been wanting for forever it seemed). He reached over for his notebook, but he felt something holding his hand, or really, holding his pinky.

Looking down, he saw you, his lover, sleeping on the floor, your pinky interlocked with his. He would have yelled at you for sleeping on the floor, but you looked so peaceful and he didn’t want to disturb you. All he could do is shake his head, “You fool.” His words held no bite, and he had a smile gracing his face.

He picked you up and put you on the other side of his bed (the one that you’ll hopefully be sleeping in by his side more and more), making sure not to wake you up in the process. Looking at his notebook, he’s already behind schedule on making breakfast, and he has to make sure that everything else happens on time.

Today is all about you, and it’s the day that he’s been planning on for a long time.

It’s the day that he plans on being the first to say that he loves you after all, and everything needs to be perfect. It’s for you, after all.

[h2bakugou]

hi love! can i request an angst to fluff with bakugo? maybe where he cheats and reader catches him. we dont go back to cheaters so maybe kiri and reader end up together and bakugo just regrets. i dont have any specifics in mind so feel free to let this play out however you want! just hurt me.

if this is too much or you dont wanna write this feel free to just ignore it! love you, have a great day!

a/n: hii hun!! ooo this is something i don’t think i’ve done before. i feel like i don’t write really good angst but this is a good prompt so i hope i write it well!! thank you for the request hun!! 

summary: you thought things were going good with bakugou until you catch him cheating on you. distraught, you find comfort in the arms of your closest friend, and something blossoms much stronger than before.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, cheating/mentions of cheating, established relationship with bakugou, bakugou’s a dick, kirishima is a real bro of the people and straight up puts his ass on blast

word count: 3.1k (so- i got carried away...god i hope this is good if not im so sorry angst is not my strong suit please-)

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

»»————-　★　————-««

It was the day after your three-month anniversary with Bakugou. You’d spent all day together yesterday, and for the most part, everything seemed normal.

Perhaps it was because Bakugou wasn’t texting the girl he’d been secretly hanging out with behind your back all day, or maybe it was because he’d planned to meet up with said girl after you finally left him alone.

Bakugou wasn’t interested in you anymore, but frankly stringing you along for his own benefit was a lot easier. Breaking it off would leave a bad image on his part, and the last thing he wanted was a smudged reputation.

Which was why he kept quiet about this other girl, and only met with her when he was certain he wouldn’t be caught. Sneaking off when everyone went to sleep because they assumed he was asleep.

It didn’t help that they lived fairly close to each other so taking time to leave school meant they could hang out with one another at their homes and suspicious eyes would be none the wiser.

Bakugou had lied to his mother about still being with you and claimed that you’d just moved on and left, making you look like the bad guy. So Mitsuki welcomed this newer girl, and showered her in affection much like she had done with you.

Except you were still with Bakugou. And he’d just told you he loved you again. Kissing the top of your head, seemingly unphased as you yawned, ready for bed.

“Goodnight.” You spoke quietly, wishing Bakugou a good night’s rest as you headed off down to Kirishima’s dorm, where you planned to watch him play a new game he’d recently gotten.

“Hey, Kiri!” You smiled, giving him a big warm hug. Kirishima’s heart ached at the little nickname you’d given him, squeezing and wrenching inside his chest as he smelled your sweet-smelling shampoo, your arms squeezing around him as you hugged him.

“Hey (Y/n), is that a new sweater?” Kirishima asked, smiling as he admired the crimson color.

“It is! I’m glad you noticed. It kinda reminds me of your hair now that I think about it.” You giggle, reaching up to ruffle his soft hair. He’d recently washed it and it currently laid down, unlike his normal hairstyle, his large pointy spikes were nowhere in sight.

Kirishima’s little heart only began to beat faster as you entered his room, sitting beside him as he loaded up the game. Resting your head on his shoulder, you would cheer him on as he played, currently whooping ass against Sero and Kaminari who he was playing with.

“Kaminari asked why you couldn’t come watch him play.” Kirishima chuckled, glancing over at you, noticing how tired you looked.

“Well, maybe I’d go watch him play if he didn’t suck.” You joked, hearing Sero ‘ooh’ over the burn you just slapped over Kaminari.

“Damn Kaminari, they got you good.” Kirishima teased, nudging your side as you giggled, sitting up. You stretched your arms and yawned. Kirishima quickly muted his mic and paused.

“You tired, let me walk you up to your dorm.” Kirishima was ready to tell the boys he’d be back in a few but you shook your head.

“I’ll be alright, keep playing. Kick some more ass for me.” You ruffled his hair once more and patted his head before heading out of his room, waving as he waved back.

You made it back to your room and got ready for bed, nearly falling asleep without realizing you didn’t have your phone.

It’d been maybe three hours, before you rolled over, curious about what time it was when you noticed the blank space on your nightstand, where your phone would usually charge.

Sitting up tiredly, you rubbed your eyes and glanced around. You’d completely lost it, you couldn’t find it anywhere, in your dorm at least. You were unsure if you’d had it when you visited Kirishima, but your only thoughts went to Bakugou.

Maybe you’d left it in his dorm when you visited to study with him. Now that you thought about it, you’d brought your books and stuff back down before he went to bed and you returned to tell him goodnight, but he never let you back inside.

It was dark outside, and completely silent in the dorms. Everyone was clearly asleep. Or so you thought.

Creeping up to Bakugou’s dorm, you were surprised to see a little light peeking under the door. You weren’t one to snoop, but you certainly knew for Bakugou to be up at this hour, something would have to be up, maybe he was sick, or couldn’t sleep?

You pressed your ear to the door and listened for a few seconds.

Those few seconds, time stood still.

“So when are we gonna make it official?” A girl’s voice wrecked through you, your eyes watering as you listened.

“I’m working on it. I just need (Y/n) to fucking leave me alone. All they do is follow me around like a lost fucking puppy, it’s annoying.”

This was not happening. He’d just said he loved me a few hours earlier. Why was he being so mean?

“Good, because I don’t how much longer I can keep this a secret. I need to see you, Katsu.” You wanted to throw up. You felt so sick. So hurt.

So betrayed.

You were overwhelmed with emotions, sadness, despair, hurt, anger.

Raising a fist, you pounded on that door like your life was in danger. You could hear a few whispers and footsteps as Bakugou quickly opened the door, surprised to see you. You barged in, shooting one glance at the girl sitting on his bed in one of his shirts, the same one you’d worn earlier that week.

You found your phone laying under a few papers on his dresser. You turned to see Bakugou just staring at you.

“Hey-”

“Don’t” You say quietly as you speed-walk past him and back down the hall. Bakugou doesn’t follow you, or try to stop you, or call out for you.

He slinks back into his dorm and resumes his time with his new girl, taking that as his sign that he was officially single.

Clenching your phone in one shaking hand, you can’t help but feel utterly worthless. And somehow your feet seemed to move on their own, right down to Kirishima’s dorm.

When you felt the door open, and heard a sleepy Kirishima ask if everything was okay, you finally realized you’d trekked down to his dorm without even realizing.

“N-no. It’s not okay, I’m not okay.” You whisper as he pulls you into him for a hug. He stands there, consoling you quietly, not even saying anything. Just rubbing your back as you sob into his shoulder.

He’s concerned, that’s evident by the way his expression is softened, and his eyebrows knit together, wondering just what had happened to have landed you here.

But as he finally pulls you back into his room, the only light coming from a pink and orange glowing Himalayan salt lamp. You’re shaking in his arms as you sink to the floor.

It’s the first time Kirishima’s ever seen you like this. 

So hurt.

“You don’t have to say anything, but I’m worried about you. You tell me when you’re ready okay? Do you need anything right now?” Kirishima’s spoke quietly, and softly, his large, rough hands for once being so gentle and delicate.

You sat and thought for a few minutes, just shaking in his arms as you tried to calm down. You were overwhelmed, too anxious about what had happened, if you weren’t enough for Bakugou.

But you finally spoke up, breaking the silence that had fallen over the two of you.

“I-I’m...” You breathed, finally looking up at Kirishima. You could feel the snot as it leaked from your nose and how wet your cheeks, chin, and neck were, but Kirishima didn’t look at you any differently. 

With red puffy eyes you glanced down and opened your mouth to speak.

“Bakugou, he was, I think...” You paused.

I saw what I saw. I heard her. That girl. He was cheating.

“Bakugou cheated on me.” You whimpered, more tears beginning to fall from your eyes. Your face fell back into Kirishima’s shoulder as your frame shook from pure despair.

Kirishima didn’t respond. He sat, his hands rubbing up and down your spine as you cried, anger boiling inside him.

Never, not even once, had he assumed, or even pondered that Bakugou would ever be unfaithful. His priorities of being on top seemed to overweigh everything else.

So when he’d started dating you, he was albeit a bit jealous, but he supported you and Bakugou’s relationship, despite wanting to be with you himself. But soon he realized you were taken by someone else, and he would respect that.

He changed his usual somewhat flirty comments, and kept things strictly friendly, but he couldn’t help but notice you still made his heart race.

But Bakugou, cheating? That was something he didn’t see coming. But regardless if it was shocking or not, it wasn’t right.

Kirishima didn’t agree with his actions at all, and seeing just how hurt you had been by his actions, it made him feel even angrier.

“Kirishima, I-I don’t know what to do. I thought he loved me. Why didn’t he love me?” You looked at him with tears pouring from your eyes. Broken sobs cracked from your wet lips, and Kirishima’s heart shattered.

Kirishima closed his eyes and placed a hand behind your head, nuzzling your face into his chest as he leaned into you, burying his own face into your shoulder.

“He’s an idiot. It’s gonna be alright. I promise.” Kirishima hushed you quietly, rocking you back and forth in his hold as you finally began to calm down, eventually falling asleep as he came to halt.

Reaching for a blanket, Kirishima wrapped it around you and held you tightly against him. His blood boiled inside him as he began to doze off himself.

“You are so amazing, please don’t let anyone tell you differently.” Kirishima whispered against your hair, resting his own eyes.

As time drained on during everyone’s slumber, a storm was brewing within Kirishima.

Waking in the morning, you awoke in Kirishima’s arms, just where you remembered falling asleep. You nudged him awake but that usual morning smile you wore whenever you’d see him in the common area for breakfast was no where in sight.

“Good morning.” You spoke quietly. It was awkward. But Kirishima quickly ruffled your hair.

“Bed head.” Kirishima pointed out, smiling at the disarray of your locks. You quickly turned away to try and fix what he was talking about.

“Hey relax, it’s okay.” Kirishima chuckled.

“I’m sorry for waking-”

“Don’t apologize. We’re gonna get through this together okay? I’m here to help however you need me too. Do you want me to walk with you to school?” Kirishima offered, helping you stand up as you both began to wake up.

“I think that would be nice. Thank you.” You can’t help but stare at the ground, feeling like a burden. You’d roped Kirishima in with your problems and now-

“I’m really sorry that Bakugou did that. It’s unmanly as hell. If he was unhappy he should’ve talked to you about it, going behind your back was straight up fucking idiotic.” Kirishima’s words sort of spilled out, immediately catching your attention.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay. I agree with you. If he was upset or unhappy, I just wish he would’ve told me.” Your bottom lip quivers as you speak about it, the memories flashing through your mind of seeing that girl on his bed, him talking about you like you weren’t even together.

About how he despised you.

“Go get ready for class, I’ll meet you by the stairs in ten?” Kirishima was already pulling out his uniform and removing his shirt as you headed toward the door.

You nodded and left quickly, running to your room avoiding being seen. And just as he’d stated, you met up by the steps in ten minutes and headed downstairs.

And there he was, waiting, like nothing had happened. Kirishima’s hand shot to yours, holding it tightly as you walked in the opposite direction. He lead you through the back doors and outside where you took a deep breath of the crisp morning air.

“It’s gonna be difficult, but try not to think about him. Every time you find yourself drifting back to him, try and replace it with something that makes you happy, like uh braiding my hair! Or making paper airplanes with Kaminari and how you beat him every time.” Kirishima laughs, lifting your chin up with his thumb and forefinger.

“He did a really scummy thing, and it hurts, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m gonna help however I can, and however you need me too.” Kirishima’s support was flooding your system. Your heart felt warm, despite feeling broken and cold hours earlier.

You didn’t thank him verbally, instead you threw your arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly, smiling.

Kirishima hugged you back and smiled. He missed your smile. 

Days turned into weeks, and things had slowly gone back to normal. You smiled more often. You informed Kaminari and Sero about your split from Bakugou, and eventually told most your friends, but not in detail.

However, Kirishima stayed by your side the most. And as you healed, you realized how much Kirishima had been there for you through all of it. And how maybe you had possibly got tied into things too fast with Bakugou.

While a part of you did love Bakugou during your time together, now you were beginning to realize how you really felt for Kirishima, a flame that had begun to burn long before you and Bakugou had been together.

But it seemed as you healed, and began to move on, finding your own happiness outside of Bakugou and the way he had treated you, Bakugou began to miss you.

Missing the way you’d kiss him, or hug him before bed. Missing the way you left his shirts smelling like you. Or the way you would always write little love notes on his study sheets.

Seeing you spend more time with Kirishima, seeing you so genuinely happy, the kind of happy you seemed to be when you used to be with him, made him mad. It made him miss you.

And sooner or later, his anger bubbled over and he snapped.

“Aye what the fuck?!” Bakugou shouted, watching as you quickly cowered away from Kirishima as Bakugou approached the two of you.

“You got a problem? We can take this outside if we need to.” Kirishima spoke up, quickly earning most of the ears of your peers.

“Yeah why the fuck you up on them like that?” Bakugou stared at you. Your face contorted in anger as you stepped forward.

“I’m sorry?” You laughed, staring at the blonde who was now your ex-boyfriend.

“You better back the fuck up.” Kirishima commented. Kaminari and Sero quickly stood to aid, positioning themselves on either side of you, positive you could handle yourself against Bakugou, but albeit cautious.

“No. Why’re you all up on them, you fucking got a thing for them? Spit it out shitty-hair.”

“No. You don’t get a fucking say in this. You fucking cheater. Ruining something so fucking special. Do you have any fucking idea how badly you hurt them? You didn’t even care to apologize. You fucking asshole. You don’t get to be upset.” Kirishima snapped. A few gasps from students. Bakugou’s face dropped at Kirishima’s words.

“I-I was just bored! All we ever did was just hang out-but I-”

“You what, Katsuki?” You approached him. You stood right in front of him and shook your head.

“I loved you. I really did, I gave my all to you, I sacrificed time and effort to make you happy because I felt like I was nothing compared to you. I have never felt like I was so below someone while being with them until I was with you. Constantly compared to you, it was fucking awful. You’re a cheating piece of shit. And I’m so sorry that you miss me now because I certainly fucking don’t miss you.” You spoke, your chest heaving as you sighed, turning and pulling Kirishima outside, along with a few others who had sided with you. 

Bakugou stood silently, feeling the eyes of everyone on him, judging him as he headed up toward his dorm.

“That was awesome!” Kaminari cheered, patting your shoulder.

“I didn’t know I had that in me.” You smiled, hugging Kirishima. Kirishima stood silently beside you.

“Hey, you okay? Forget about him, it’s over, we won, did you see the look on his face?” You nudged his side. Kirishima groaned and pulled you into him, slamming his lips on yours.

Your eyes widened as he kissed you, but you didn’t fight it. You closed your eyes and melted into the kiss, eventually drawing your arms up over his shoulders, deepening the kiss as he leaned into you more.

Kirishima pulled away and quickly glanced to Kaminari and Sero who’s mouths were formed into small ‘o’s quickly looking away as Kirishima chuckled.

“Woah.” You breathed, smiling as you stared at Kirishima.

“Sorry I have been wanting to do that for a long time.” Kirishima apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. You couldn’t help but laugh.

You leaned up and kissed him again, smiling as he kissed back, your lips moving rhythmically against one another.

Shortly after, Kirishima made sure you were ready for a relationship before asking. Recovery from your previous relationship had gone well, and once you were ready, Kirishima didn’t hesitate to ask. He would’ve waited a lifetime for you.

And Kirishima showed you love, real love. He cherished you, brought you up when you were low, and allowed you to shine, just as you did for him. Supporting him through his highs and his lows, helping him when he needed, and loving him for who he was.

You felt whole, truly happy. The kind of happy you hadn’t felt for a while. And you didn’t think about Bakugou once during it. If you interacted, you were curt, and always handled the situations quickly. You didn’t need to focus on him.

And when you beat him during a test, it only proved you had grown stronger.

Bakugou had lost this battle. 

And you were winning by a long shot, with a happy, healthy, relationship with someone who loved you, someone who truly loved you.

And that flame inside you, burning for Kirishima, only grew.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[hwangsies]

[10:24 pm]

johnny suh × female reader

warnings: a little angst, mentions of infidelity & heartbreak, johnny is whipped af, smut as in: fingering, unprotected piv, finger sucking, dom!johnny, begging, spit, some hairpulling, praise kink, size kink (cmon its johnny)

2.1 k words,

enjoy <3

-

You sigh and give up when the window you're trying to close doesnt move.

Three knocks on your door have you whipping around "yea?"

In comes johnny "hey, i just wanted to check on you"

You breathe "i cant get this window to close, i think its broken" you mumble.

"oh, no its always like this, hold up" he walks over to you, placing one hand on the window handle and the other on its frame before harshly pushing it close.

"there" he grunts, you gulp when sneaking a peek of his arms where his shirt has ridden up "now you dont have to sleep in the cold" he chuckles.

"thank you" you mumble as you walk over to your bed for now.

"you okay?" he frowns when you sit down on the edge of the bed.

"yea just-thanks again for letting me crash here, now that i'm kinda homeless" you chuckle ironically.

Your ex had kicked you out after finding out you did to him what he did to you, cheat.

You know it wasnt the right way to deal with it, but it just happened.

So naturally you had to bother your cousin, jaehyun, the only relative who lives close to you, if you could crash at his dorm for a few nights.

"of course y/n" johnny sits down next to you "we're all here to help if you need anything" one of his large hands finds your knee and you look up at him.

"did you come here just to check up on me?" you ask carefully, not wanting to scare him off.

The tall man sighs and runs a hand through his brown locks "i mean, we havent really talked since...you know" he gestures "and know he broke up with you because of it, and i just fee-"

"dont finish that sentence" you cut him off, locking eyes with him "he cheated on me first, and i know i shouldnt have been this petty, but you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. its my fault, not yours"

"okay" he mumbles, nodding slowly.

"you didnt tell jaehyun? right?" you inquire.

He laughs "are you kidding? He would kill me" johnny shakes his head "i'm his best friend, i'm not supposed to seduce his little cousin"

"okay first of all, i'm not that little, and second of all i seduced you big boy" you joke lightheartedly, at which he scoffs gently.

Johnny was always a good friend who you just saw as another older cousin like jaehyun. But then that one night, a couple nights ago, arose and you were drunk and he looked so good.

And he was so kind and listened to your worries, even when you were probably slurring most of them.

Johnny himself didnt mean to get caught in this dilemma, he had driven you home after a long night of drinking on your end.

But when he brought you up to your apartment that you shared with your now ex, who was out that night; probably doing worse stuff that you, and you practically threw yourself at him, he couldnt tell right from wrong.

Not when in comes to you.

You deserve someone better than that, was what johnny thought, he still thinks.

Your words that made him stay the night are still ringing in his head.

'every girl would be lucky to have someone like you'

'I wish i had someone like you'

'johnny, i need you'

"johnny" you speak again.

"yea?" he gets ripped out of his daydream and looks at you, god even when you've been crying you look beautiful.

He wishes you could tell you that.

"can you hold me?" you ask sheepishly.

"just for a few minutes...please?" you add when he hesitates.

Johnny looks over at the closed door before looking at you again, you blink at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, slightly sucking your plump bottom lips in between your teeth.

Everyone had already gone to bed, but he's still aware of the fact that your cousins room is right above the spare room, the both of you are currently in.

"yea, of course" he quietly agrees.

Once laid down, he spoons you from behind, tucking you into the blanket.

He's trying not to think about the smell of your shampoo, thats clouding his loungs, or how small you are in his hold, or how much he wants to intertwine his fingers with your smaller ones.

"johnny?" you speak softly after some time, as if not to startle him.

"yes?" he mumbles just as carefully.

You inhale deeply before turning around to face him.

"hi" he smiles softly, with gentle eyes.

You mom always told to to fall in love with someone with gentle eyes, you never knew what that looked like until you looked into his.

"hi" you say back before slightly clearing your throat"i meant what i said that night"

"what excactly?" he asks "you said alot of things i didnt think you'd remember the next day"

You huff in a smile as you shuffle closer to him, he smells like his cologne and dry cleaning.

Its familiar and you feel safe, always.

"that i wish i had someone like you, and that i need you" you repeat your words from said night.

Johnny sucks in a breath "y/n"

"please" you lock eyes "i want you" you cradle one of his cheels in your hand.

"you're vulnerable and it would be wrong of-"

"but its doesnt feel wrong!" you interrupt him "does it?"

"no" johnny breathes out before he can think, which you take as your sign to press your lips to his, in almost the same desperate way as you did a couple nights ago.

He doesnt hesitate to part the seam of your lips with his tongue before sitting up in between you legs without breaking the kiss.

Quickly, you push yourself up a little to take off his shirt.

You mewl when his hand rubs you over your shorts and he kisses your neck, running your hands up his ripped torso.

"gotta be quiet baby girl" he whispers into the skin below your ear before sitting up.

"can you do that for me?" he asks while pulling off your shorts.

"can you be quiet for me?" you raise your hips as you nod at his request, him pulling off your panties as well.

"good girl" he praises, dropping a kiss to your knee. Your wet pussy awaiting him, already glistening in the dimmed lights.

"fuck" he groans when slowly sliding one digit through your folds.

A soft gasp tumbles from your lips and your toes curl.

Hooking your right leg over his shoulder, he gently pushes one of his long fingers into you.

Your back arches when he rubs your clit with his thumb before adding a second.

"that feels so good" you moan, gently rocking your hips.

"yea?" he grins, slightly scissoring his fingers to stretch you out for his cock.

His other hand travelling up your sweater and palming your breasts as he thrusts his fimgers into you at the perfect angle.

"johnny-fuck" you groan when the flicks on your clit increse in speed.

"gonna cum, baby?" he mumbles, dick straining against his sweatpants.

"yes-oh!" you moan out, at which johnny moves his hand away from your breast to hold onto your jaw.

"shhh baby" he grits through his teeth before pushing two of his fingers into your warm mouth.

You instantly moan around the digits, feeling your high approach rapidly.

"cum for me pretty baby"

One of your hands is pulling at the sheets while the other is holding onto johnnys forearm for dear life when you cum.

Your eyes screwing shut as your body thrashes with pleasure, white blooming behind your lids as he rides you through it.

"thats it, good girl" he gently massages your walls while you're still sucking on his fingers.

Johnny retreats both sets of fingers out of you, to pull you up into a stitting position.

You moan against him when he kisses you deeply.

Nimble fingers making their way to the hem of your oversized sweatshirt and stripping you of it when he breaks the kiss.

Pushing you down on your back again, his plump lips attach to your left nipple at which you moan softly.

"johnny, please" you whimper.

"mmh" his lips move to your neck, licking and kissing the sensitive skin there.

"I love it when you beg for me baby girl" he grins against your skin before pulling away to rid himself of his pants.

"sound so pretty saying my name like that" he mumbles before getting a good grip on your hips and flipping you over with zero to no effort.

You squeal when his hands pull up your hips, instinctively you prop up on your hands to see what he's doing, but he pushes your torso down again.

"fuck me, please" you whimper when he spreads your cheeks to get a good look at your sex.

"goddamm" you hear him curse before an obscene spit noice fills the room and you feel it splatter against your pussy.

You clench around nothing, which he sees and chuckles at before dipping his head and licking a flat stripe from your clit up to your opening.

"fuck-" your body jolts a little "please , john- fuck me"

"hmm, as you wish, love" your hole flutter once more at the petname before he pushes in carefully.

A groan tears from your throat, but you're quick enough to muffle it with the pillow.

"fucking hell- tight little pussy is not gonna fit all of me" he grunts as he spreads your ass cheeks again to see how tightly your walls are hugging him.

"more, please" you beg once more and he pushes inside of you all the way before quickly bottoming out.

"fuck" his voice is shaky and you feel a sense of pride come over you.

He picks up a good pace, his girth and lenght filling you up to the brim and hitting your spot with every stroke.

You moan and whimper into the pillow as johnny snaps his hips into you with an iron grip on your hips.

He feels the way you clench around him "you close baby?" he moans.

You lift your head to let out an affirmative whimper before he gathers some of your hair in one of his hands and tugs at the roots.

A whine leaves your lips before a second hand comes down to your breast and pulls your torso up and flush against his.

The arch in your back is uncomfortable but you barely feel it by the way he's fucking into you.

His hand leaves your hair in favour to cover your mouth, pressing the back of your head to his shoulder, when you yelp out at a paticular harsh thrust.

"come on baby, i know you're almost there" he rasps into your ear, the hand on your breats leaving in favor for your clit.

You groan into his hand when the pads of his fingers move over the sensitive nub at a fast pace.

You hold onto johnnys bulging biceps when you feel like you're about to explode.

"cream all over my cock baby girl, come on" his words send you spiralling into your second high of the night.

Your cries of pleasure get muffled by his hands, you feel your thighs trembling and ready to give out but he holds you up.

The overstimulation stets in and you jolt, pressing on his hand to move away from your clit.

The hand on your mouth moves as well before he bottoms out and flips you on your back again.

He looks sweaty but divine, muscles glistening in the faint lighting and some hair sticking to his forehead.

"wont last long anymore baby" he pulls you down slightly before pushing inside of you again.

You whimper and grab him by the neck, pulling him down to connect your lips as you wrap your legs around his waist.

His thrusts get sloppy as you kiss at his neck.

"cum in me, please johnny" you moan quietly into his ear, holding on to his shoulders.

His name on your lips makes him loose his composure, spilling his seed into you with a hiss and burying his face into your neck.

"i love you" he chants breathlessly before he realises that he's actually saying it out loud and not just thinking it.

Your body freezes when you hear his sweet confession.

"you do?"

-

a/n: turned a little more mushy than i had intended but oh well.

also not proofread yet, soz🤫

[love-granger]

can you write some George angst please

like break my heart bestie😀

Somethin’ Stupid

combined it with another anon ask: can you write sub george

George weasley x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ unprotected sex,cussing,breeding kink, sub!george,angst,choking,

A/n: I hope you like it also click the title^ and listen to the song it somewhat plays into the plot :) also bold words are the lyrics. Smut below the cut.

George had you lay on your back as he took off his remaining clothes while you patiently stared at the ceiling. He finally took off his boxers and said ”sorry about that.” “Dont worry about it” you assured him. He quickly situated himself on his knees in between your thighs.

”you ready?” he asked, you nodded while bucking your hips towards him. George spat on his hand and started stroking himself and slowly thrusted into you, he started trailing kisses down your neck.

“Mm..fuck” you moaned. George’s thrusts were slow, so you took control and pushed his back towards the bed so you could be on top. You repositioned yourself and put one leg over each of his thighs to straddle him. George took ahold of your hips and slowly lowered you on his throbbing cock. You slowly rocked your hips against his tip just enough to tease him, he went to give your ass a slight squeeze.

“Be patient pretty boy” you smirked. George couldn’t help but let out a whine wanting to thrust his hips up into you, but if he did he’d be in trouble. You finally picked up the pace, earning a groan from George. Your clit rubbed against his cock in the perfect way just as his cock could feel your walls clenching around him. “fuck y/n you’re always so tight for me” he moaned out. His raspy voice could make you cum right there. You felt your high coming, George started thrusting up trying to meet your movements. “Doing so good for me George” you whispered.

“George!” You gasp unwillingly when his full lips attach to your left breast, his teeth carefully biting down your nipple as his tongue swirls over it, igniting a fire inside of you. He couldn’t help but groan as he grabbed your other hand and trailed it towards his neck signaling for you to choke him. You let out a small chuckle as you gave his neck a small squeeze, keeping it there.

“Love I’m cumming...can i please cum” he pleaded

“Yes merlin yes..George cum inside me fill me up”

He groaned loudly while beads of his cum trailed down his length. You finally came all over his cock squeezing his neck while his juices mixed with yours. Your brows were knitted together while you let out breathy moans, George could’ve sworn it was the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.

“Holy shit George...that was amazing” you breathed out. you slowly took George out of you and went to get a towel to clean each other up. After you cleaned each other up you laid down next to him.

The time is right your perfume fills my head

The stars get red and oh, the night's so blue

“Did you get a new perfume?” he asked while breathing in your new scent and turning his body towards you. You smiled while doing the same “yeah I did. Merlin you won’t believe what happened today in potions.”

He smiled “what?”

“Snape fucking dress coded me for my skirt being to short” You grumbled out while adding air quotations. Before George got a chance to respond you abruptly got up.

“Oh fuck I forgot i have a study sesh with hermione”you said while searching for your clothes.

“Same time next week?” You asked as you zipped up your skirt and tucked in your shirt. You didn’t hear a response from George so you turned around to see if he was alright. He was staring at his hands, he heard what you said but was too deep into his thoughts to give you an answer. You scooted closer to the bed and cradled his face “you alright?”you asked. You weren’t a very affectionate person so times like this he felt as if you did love him more than a friend, he gave you a reassuringly smile as you kissed him on his forehead and just like that you walked out of his dorm. You and George’s relationship was easy you would say you had been best friends since second year and only until seventh year did you agree to hook up when you needed to take the edge off.

_________

*the next day*

George was seated in the Grand hall at the Gryffindor table, placing food on his plate and doing the same to your plate right next to his spot where you always sat. He saw you walking towards the table, and before you were able to sit down he asked you about the herbology homework.

“Hey, do you think I could copy the herbology notes we were supposed to do?”

“Sure” you dug through your backpack and handed the notes to George.

“Yes! thank you y/n i love you” George said as he gave a kiss on your head just as you bit into your toast.

“You’re welcome George, love you too” you chuckled

It was no secret his love language was words of affirmation. George let out a quiet sigh he always tried to make you understand the type of love he felt towards you, but you always saying “love you” and not “i love you” hurt him a bit. Merlin he doesn’t even think he’s ever heard you say “love you” to anyone else. He couldn’t really complain he guessed at least you were comfortable to reciprocate his love, even in a friendly manner.

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say

To make the meaning come through

But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late

And I'm alone with you

__________

*A week later*

It was a starry night at hogwarts you and George were near the black lake in perfect view to see the stars as soft music played in the background from your phone. You were bored and wanted to go stargazing with George and it was a perfect night to.

George got up to his feet extending his hand out towards you

You gave him a questioning look”what’re you doing”

“C’mon” he said motioning his eyes towards his hand

You took ahold of his hand, hopping to your feet, he pulled you closer towards him wrapping his arms around you as you wrapped your arms around his neck. The both of you slowly swayed to the music in the background. George was able to smell your intoxicating perfume once again,hoping the scent would seep through his sweater. He softly smiled enjoying this pure moment with you.

“im in love with you” George softly said, he quickly widened his eyes not expecting those words to come out of his mouth. You were shocked to hear those three words,that you knew were bound to come.

You dropped your hands from his neck taking a step back as an awkward silence filled the air.

“No you aren’t” you laughed hoping he was joking. He felt as if a knife stabbed him through the heart.

“I-im sorry” George muttered ,you stayed quiet while standing in front of him.

“no George, I’m sorry we should’ve stopped this a long time ago” you sighed realizing he wasn’t joking.

“I didn’t fall in love with you just because of the sex, I’ve always loved you y/n”

“I’ve loved you ever since i met you” ... “Is there someone else?” He asked

“What no, no there isn’t. I’m really sorry, i am but i just don’t feel that type of love towards you, and i don’t think i ever will” you said as tears welled in George’s eyes.

“I think it’d be best to just go back to being friends.” you said while fiddling with your fingers. He stayed quiet not knowing what to say.

“I’ll see you around” you quietly asked, not really needing an answer

“Yeah, sure”

George knew things wouldn’t go back to normal and he was right, he found it too awkward to be around you, and it wasn’t like you tried to save the friendship either. When he finally mustered up the courage to talk to you again he saw you locking lips with some random ravenclaw boy.

The time is right your perfume fills my head

The stars get red and oh, the night's so blue

And then I go and spoil it all

By saying something stupid like "I love you"

[death-cheater]

Sunshower

read my tags (:

In the darkness of nothingness, where all he could hear is his own breathing, a beeping sound from a distance, and numbing sensation all over his body.

He slowly rised his eyelids, like an involuntary action waking up from a long dream.

The ceiling was high and walls were all painted white. He thought to himself this was not his room nor anywhere else, however the atmosphere of it was familiar.

He laid in a steel-frame bed with his back slightly up, in a semi-fowler position.

Although his whole body was aching he tried to move slowly, or just a slight command to move his arm.

"Oh. You awake?" A voice spoke softly. "You shouldn't move around much, your wounds are still fresh."

Sitting beside his bed was a man of a familiar face. A very familiar one, sporting his trademark printed-shirt.

A 'flammable fashion' as someone once said. He was holding a "Best fashion magazine for Men."

"Kami...ya-san?" Doumeki's voice was weak and low. His vision was blurry, but he could recognize Kamiya right away. The daylight, confirms this. He tries to summon up what little energy he has to greet Kamiya.

"You're in a hospital." Kamiya explained.

"...how.... did I ....got here? For.... how long?"

Doumeki's voice was cracking as he inquired, making small movements as his body was able to.

"You've been out for Three weeks. I was already park up front when I saw 2 men attacked you. Things happened too fast I didn't have close look at their faces."

"You.... brought me.....here?"

There was a slight irritation on Kamiya's face. "You're a huge guy, so dont make it sound like it was a pleasure dragging you into the car."

He was about to flip a finger then remembered, no matter what, Doumeki still has a higher position than him in thier group.

Doumeki felt guilty, yet grateful.

"Im sorry....to have.... troubled.... you. And thank you."

If he could, Doumeki would have bowed to show his gratitude properly, but for now a nod was all he could do.

Kamiya stared at him for a few seconds and then told Doumeki;

"We dont know who's behind this attack, but I reckoned they were only hired thugs to do the job not actual gang members. Did you do something?"

There was silence in the room as if they were tracing in their memories or searching for clues, which rival group could have done this? But then again in this line of business it could have been anyone....

Kamiya sighed and got up from his seat, still carrying the magazine, rolled in his hand. "We'll get to that later. For now I'm going to report to the boss you're awake." he paused and then smirked at Doumeki, "Although getting stab 8 times is no joke. According to the doctor, it seems the weapon used was a small 2-inch knife. Still it's a miracle you pulled through. I guess it pays off to be all muscle." he said, while letting out a chuckle.

He walked to the door and stood still for a bit.

"...oh. by the way. That old boss of yours came by. He didn't say anything though." then exit the room, closing the door behind. Leaving Doumeki alone in silence.

His eyes were fixed at the flower vase that was placed on a small table on the corner, by the window.

He was drowsy and ready to fall asleep again. His thoughts are still hazy, vague memory of what happened. He tried to recount the events on that day...

That day where he felt like that was his last day on earth. That day he reimagined a figure of a beautiful man laying beside him.

That day where fear and regret filled him rather than the pain from the stab.

He thought of what Kamiya just said. He thought of Yashiro and how he wish to see him now.

He closed his tired eyes, thinking only of one person.

•••

The weather outside his window was cool, the Sun was peeking behind the thick clouds, as if playing hide and seek.

The windows were already open, letting in cool breeze. The scent of Autumn was approaching.

It's a great day to dry some laundry, or have a nice stroll outside. Is what he thought looking outside.

It has been 5 days since he woke up. And he felt like life is slowly returning to his body. He now has the strength to get up from bed without assistance, and his IV tube was taken off yesterday, so he can roam the room freely now. Although he could still feel a stinging feeling in his abdomen. Doumeki slowly sat up, putting his feet on the ground, gazing at the window, admiring the sky, while birds sing their romantic songs.

A car stopped just about right at the entrance door.

"I'll call you when I'm done here."

"For the meantime go pick up Nanahara." Yashiro told the driver.

A man in fine and expressive purple vested suit stepped out of the car.

" Understood." His new chauffeur was a thin man with shaved head and a piercing on his nose. He was somewhat around Nanahara's age.

When the car drove away, Yashiro looked up at a particular window where someone he's about to meet is.

His dark shade purple coat, draped on his shoulder, flutters as he was walking up the hallway. Hands tucked in on his pockets. His hair was slick back, exposing his radiant youthful face.

His Brand-new-burgundy- Oxford shoes, tapping on the floors, echoing through the silent hallways.

With his elegant and stylish look, anyone would mistook him for a famous model or actor. He barely represents his age. He had more allure than the youngsters he had ridden with in the elevator, which of course caught their attention.

Yashiro didn't returned the curious looks, as his mind was somewhere else.

He thought about what he could say.

He was ready to reprimand, to mock, or just to tease. Something along the lines of; "I told you to stay. maybe you wouldn't have gotten hurt."

His brow was knitted, unknowingly annoyed at something.

Yashiro was never the kind of man to show any sort of concern over anyone injured, (Except for that one particular event at the warehouse)

He would rather kicked you down and add more to your pain...

(If only he did stayed...)

All the words circling inside his head that's ready to burst out, disappeared, when he quietly slid the door open ----- and there he was, standing by the open window, adjusting the curtain blinds.

Yashiro's brow relaxed, his eyes softened and somewhat sad and in awe.

It was as if his facial expression showed grieving and relief at the same time.

Yashiro was staring at the back of the silent man.

He has known Doumeki to be that quiet and stoic type, so this was as normal as always...

Doumeki was only in his hospital wear, a simple and mundane attire...and yet there was a certain air around him that seem different. To Yashiro right now, he looked kinda cool (captivating), that it made him shiver a bit. Yashiro can't quite describe this feeling. Of course he kept this to himself.

"An annoying bird told me you woke up." He spoke in his silvery voice, walking up to Doumeki.

Doumeki turned slowly to the voice. His eyes widen with delight and his chest tightened of happiness from this unexpected visit. But he cannot be too obvious about his feelings. So he tries his best not to show.

"Good Afternoon, Yashiro-san." Doumeki greeted, lowering his head.

"How disappointing. I expected you'd be crying in pain. Looks like you're just the usual."

"I'm sorry to let down your expectations."

"Tch. You're really boring." Yashiro retorted coldly. He placed his coat on the table bed nearby.

"Was it Kamiya-san (that told you I was here)?"

"....Who knows..." he said unenthusiastically.

"......"

"Have they caught that did this?" Yashiro asked with indifference. Making It seem he was not interested but still want to know.

"No. Kamiya-san has been tasked to asked around. The Kumichou's is certain this was their form of warning and asked me to lay low for awhile."

"Hmm. Tsunakawa-san is really dotting on you , huh, Doumeki? Even asking for your sake?"

"I don't think so. The Kumichou's just being cautious."

"Indeed. He does seem like a careful man. Unlike his subordinate."

Doumeki didn't try to dispute it. It was the truth anyway. He wasn't careful enough to know maybe he stepped on someone's territory that day or how he could have let those men get at him without noticing anything. How he let his mind wander somewhere else than to be alert.

Both of them now standing by the window, Yashiro was fidgeting on his pocket, taking out his cigarettes and lighter.

"That's not allowed in here, Yashiro-san." Doumeki said, without a hint of humor or strictness.

"It's fine. The windows' open." Yashiro puffed a smoke out.

Doumeki gazed at the man in front of him. He didn't have any particular thought or opinion about him at this moment. His eyes were steadily looking at him. Admiring his attire that perfectly fits his frame. His delicate pale hands, although sometimes can be heavy and sadistic. His slender neck that no matter what angle, he would always looked good. His over all charm that Doumeki cant ignore. His very presence that works like gravity, pulling everyone into his orbit, and Doumeki was no exception. Yashiro's hair shone, as if a halo was place on his head, as the light softly touches him. Doumeki wanted to brushed his fingers through that fine hair he loves so much.

//While most men around Yashiro would prefer him fully naked, on his knees or spreading himself for them, treating him like their personal whore, Doumeki was content like this.

Yashiro is fully clothed and well dressed, as always, and like the first time Doumeki set his sight on Yashiro, simply standing on the door frame, with a cigarette between his lips, he thought him beautiful. He was, he is, and forever beautiful in Doumeki's eyes.

He admires, respect and love Yashiro.

Yashiro could feel Doumeki's burning stare but choose to ignore it, looking straight ahead as he continues to smoke. More like he's scared he might get hypnotized by them and fear to give in, even though there is nothing to give in to. It's almost like it's Doumeki's hidden talent (weapon) against him. Yashiro, since the first day they met, was entrance by his dull looking eyes. It was expressionless, and yet, Yashiro felt he was under his spell doing something he never usually do. One would wonder, who really is the prey who stalks their meal, between the two?

With little thought of action, Doumeki made small steps towards Yashiro. In slow motion he moved his right hand to gently take the cigarette away, extinguishing it on the window ledge.

It startled Yashiro. He looked back at Doumeki in silence, following his movements. Doumeki's left hand softly holding Yashiro's right wrist. Doumeki kissed the outer region of Yashiro's lips. His action made Yashiro tensed up.

As Doumeki slightly pulled away, his eyes were locked on to Yashiro's. He wonders why Yashiro took the time to visit him, when he knew there was nothing in particular to meet him. He dared not to question the presence what seem like a deity giving him a special visit. His heart of heart tells him, Yashiro is really here. He's not an imaginary figure, brought by his long time yearning. He can touch him, smell him, kiss him. Yashiro is right here in front of him.

Yashiro looking back at him as if he could already read Doumeki's thoughts.

"What? Do you want to do it, Chikara-kun?" he asked with a faint smile. Trying to quiet down his internal panic, now that their eyes are meeting directly. He failed avoiding those powerful eyes after all.

Doumeki blushed at the sudden name-call. He shook his head, never looking away from Yashiro. His calm demeanor somewhat throws Yashiro off, as he was expecting some sort of reaction, thinking since he's been in the hospital for so long, he must be pent up. And to further his provocation, he tried to seduced Doumeki instead.

"Well, I do. I've been feeling it since---"

"Yashiro-san, would you like to live together with me?" Doumeki asked calmly with more longing in his gaze towards Yashiro.

The question came out of no where it made Yashiro utterly speechless. His lips parted. Stunned, his eyes widen in bewilderment.

It took him few seconds to come back to his senses when he felt Doumeki's rough, warm palm, embracing his right hand.

Doumeki traced Yashiro's fingers and locked his fingers around Yashiro's firmly.

Doumeki stepped closer to Yashiro, where they could almost feel each other's breath, as Doumeki's right hand is now sliding on Yashiro's waist, placing him tight close to him. Doumeki had a whiff of Yashiro's cologne since he came in. It's an irresistible scent. It's sweet but not too strong. There's a hint of floral in the mix....lavender? If Doumeki could have his way, he would have nose dive in on Yashiro, bury his head and just breathe in Yashiro's smell.

" Will you give me an answer, Yashiro-san?"

Doumeki's voiced lowered even deeper, as if whispering. The frequency of his voice made Yashiro weak on his knees.

"What kind of absurd fantasy are you thinking?" Yashiro's voice was calm yet condescending, and to hide this uneasy feeling, he masked it with sarcasm.

"You sure you weren't hit on the head, you giant oaf?"

"......."

Doumeki is already used to his mockery that he just let it past him.

"Live together? Why would you want to live with someone like me? Huh, Doumeki?" Yashiro was glaring at him. Like a cat hissing.

"I told you didn't I? I can never be in a normal relationship. So, you better stop whatever fantasy you conjure up."

Yashiro tried to shake off Doumeki's hand, which was an impossible task to do. Doumeki, even as a wounded patient, still bares the strength of racing horse. Or a wounded Lion, protecting its territory. Doumeki was an immovable mountain.

The more pressure Yashiro does, pushing Doumeki away using his left hand, the more Doumeki's grip tighten, on the other, but not enough force to hurt Yashiro. An obvious gesture of not wanting him to escape.

"That day," Doumeki began, "when I was dying on the ground....more than the pain from the stab, more than death... I was afraid of never seeing you again, not being with you anymore. It was unbearable to imagine that, that was last time I ever see you."

Doumeki leaned his head on Yashiro's shoulder for support, as he was actually feeling lightheaded.

"I dont believe in miracles," Doumeki added. His voice started to tremble, "but I want to believe this was fate giving me another chance. For the time spent not being with you."

"Is this the drugs talking?" Yashiro thought looking skeptical , "He seemed to be more chatty than I ever remember."

Doumeki held Yashiro tighter, "I want to see you every day...Wake up to you every morning. Make time to have a meal together..."

"That sounds really annoying---"

"Maybe it's impossible. Maybe you hate it. And maybe you'll hate me for it, but it's my only desire to be with you always. Always."

It suddenly started to rain, while the Sun rose above the clouds, making the rain shower look like glitter, like tiny stars in daylight. It made such a picturesque view from the window.

"Oh, What was the name again? Sunshower?" Yashiro thought, as he put his hand on Doumeki's head, petting him. (Huh...? What...?)

He unconsciously rised his hand, and placed it on top of Doumeki's head.

There was that random parental feeling he had, like comforting a confuse crying kid.

And for sure. He surprised himself with this. In his inner mind he tried to remember if he had ever petted anyone at all?

Yashiro now feels Doumeki's weight, as if pushing him down. Yashiro complained how heavy Doumeki was leaning on him.

"Hey, Doumeki, I will listen to your stupid rants later, for now go back to bed."

Yashiro closed the window half way, supported Doumeki to his bed, grumbling. Good thing it was only 3 steps away. Quite a struggle carrying a large man.

When Doumeki laid down, settled himself, he immediately grabbed Yashiro's hand.

"What do you want now? " Yashiro was getting irritated, "you're being annoyingly clingy! Is it your wounds, should I call the doctor?"

"Stay." Doumeki said, gasping, his face showing obvious pain. "Stay for awhile. please. Yashiro-san." Doumeki was feeling his wounds hurt again. Although he had his bandages changed this morning, but it felt like the wounds have reopened.

Doumeki endured it, just for him to have Yashiro stay.

Yashiro looked at him sympathetically, feeling petty to his desperate plea...

This time Yashiro didn't complain or try to snap back at Doumeki. This time he felt like granting a request. He felt indulgent toward this pathetic looking, crying brat.

He let out a heavy sigh as there was no fighting off this man's stubbornness.

He reached for that armchair nearby, Doumeki's hand was still holding him.

Yashiro sat down and faced him quietly.

Doumeki started to dozed off, still securing Yashiro's hand on his.

He was in pain, but he felt comforted just having the man he loves the most in this earth, right beside him.

What Doumeki said echoed in his head over and over again....

Yashiro can't think straight. A simple question made things in his head jumbled up.

"What did Doumeki asked again? Live together?"

"Can anyone even stomach the thought of being with someone so messed up, let alone live with that kind of person??"

Yashiro was becoming doubtful, feeling anxious of Doumeki's words.... or was he even aware what he was saying?

"What, did the hospital gave this guy some very strong drugs?" He thought, "he's being delusional."

Yashiro looked out the window, the rain was still pouring, but it's only drizzling now, making soft taps and droplets sliding down on the glass window. The sky was starting to turn pink, ready to transcend to night time.

Thinking back, It was an idiotic and senseless idea. And sure, he knows Doumeki can be too emotional, despite his 'lack of character'. That, maybe, part of it was actually him speaking sobber, not under any influence...?

His honesty is admirable, stupid, some times desperate....more often scary to handle...

Yashiro considered that age must really caught up to him. That, maybe, over the years he softened.

The old Yashiro would have kicked Doumeki by the gut, watched him squirm in pain, make him shut up before he could say another word.

He wondered if he too has changed without him meaning to or noticing.

Or was this, perhaps, Doumeki's character robbing off on him?

Especially for something like this. To even have Yashiro included in their 'normal' future. From someone he considers 'scary and dangerous'....he would have thrown a wild fit, then run far, far away.

( -Vrrrr- )

Suddenly his phone in his pocket vibrated. "Misumi-san" showed on the screen. Yashiro stared at his phone blankly.

He already knows why Misumi called, what's gonna be the talk about. He looked back at the sleeping Doumeki, he sighed, feeling defeated.

•••

In the tranquility of the night, Doumeki awoke when his throat was starting to feel tight and dry.

"water...." he mouthed.

When he regained complete consciousness, he stared in complete astonishment when he realized Yashiro hadn't left his side. He instead slept upright on the armchair, still holding his hand.

The gibbous moon shone behind Yashiro from the window, as if giving its spotlight to him. Making him glow with more elegance. Yashiro looked so ethereal, it made Doumeki held his breath.

Doumeki forgot about his throat problem. He forgot he needed water.

Because right now, no glass of water can replenish this wonderful moment.

Doumeki smiled, nearing into tears.

- End.

[ablackfangirlwrites]

72 hours

When you find out you only have 72 hours left to live and you only want to spend it with one person

Keigo | Hawks

"Hey, Kid."

Keigo said walking into your hospital room.

"....hi..."

Keigo tilted his head sympathetically usually when he called you kid you'd pout and argue that he wasnt that much older then you

But instead you gave him a weak smile

"Aw, whatever it was it couldn't have been that bad." He teased you.

The two of you had been friends for years

Keigo wanted to see you give him a real smile

When he first started being a hero thats when the two of you met

It actually was an accident

He was chasing a villain through a crowd and the villain decided to use you as a distraction by throwing you in the street

And he saved you

Once the fiasco was over you had found him and thanked him for saving you

And from then on the two of you hit it off

But only as friends

You knew he was a busy hero he didnt have time for a girlfriend besides the two of you were only friends

Plus there were so many girls that wanted him too

So what could you offer? It was easier to just stay his friend

And he had the same thought pattern more or less

Just stay your friend that way he could be close to you

Better he stay your friend then potentially mess up something by being in a relationship with you and you guys have a bad break up

"I'm gonna die Keigo..."

You told keigo trying to keep your from crying

But it wasnt working your were in tears

"What?" Keigo frowned walking further to your bedside

Eailer that day you happened to be close to a villain attack and ended up getting hit by their quirk in the crossfire

Whiched landed you in the hospital

And from what the doctors and police had told you apparently the villain that they were chasing was very dangerous and had a life shortening quirk

"They said I have 72 hours to live..."you sobbed

When you told keigo that he already figured out what had happened to you

And for the first time in his life he felt truly devastated

You were the first friend he had since he left from all his training from the commission

You were the first person he was ever in love with

And you were gonna die

"I dont wanna die keigo." He could hear the fear in your voice

"You're not gonna die Y/n," he tried to consoled you "I will figure this out, I wont let you die."

He was about to get up and leave but you quickly grabbed his hand

"Please don't leave me."

You weren't close to your family and Keigo was the only person you had left

"Y/n...I cant sit here and watch you die...I have to figure something out."

"The doctors already said there was no cure....the police said the same thing everyone that villain hit died three days later and I know you know that."

He did know it

The villain that hit you was on everyone's radar and he had killed a lot of people

And now all he could do was be angry that he wasnt the one who caught him

Cause if he was you wouldn't be in this situation

He knew there were so many attempts to stop the casualties from dying but none had worked

The two of you sat in silence for a while neither of you knowing what to do or say

Finally keigo spoke up, "What do you wanna do?"

Trying to suppress a cry, you'd whispered, "everything."

Up until now your life hadn't been that eventful

Yes you went out with friend and had good times but there was still so much you didnt do

Hawks sighed, "fine then we'll do everything."

"Hawks that impossible I dont-"

"We will do everything we can for the next 72 hours." He cut you off

"What?"

"We're going to do everything. Everything and more whatever you wanted to do in your life we'll do for the next three days." He told you.

You protested but keigo wasnt having it

He got and started to pull you up with him

"I wont let you go dying sad and alone in bed. We're going to take these next three days and live."

The two of you would do just that too

He'd take you everywhere he could too you'd see all the big sight of your city you lived in but never had the time to go see

He take you to eat all the food you ever wanted to try

Everything that you wanted he provided

And you enjoyed it as much as you could on the first day

By the second day you were so tired from all the excitement you wanted to stay home but Hawks insisted that you didnt

Things were bittersweet but the two of you were making the most of it

On the second days evening you were at a bar and you got into talk about all the other things in life you really wanted

"I wanted to get married you know Keigo..."

He would just listen to you

"I wanted to get married and live in a little apartment with my husband and just kiss him when he left for work and be so happy when I saw him come back. We'd be so in love... I wanted to have children too...I mean at least one" you were smiling as tears started to fall you wanted that life with him but you knew it was unlikely and now you knew it would never happen

"But I wont get any of that cause some stupid villain..."

"Then marry me?" Keigo said

You laughed but keigo grabbed your hand

"Marry me f/n? In the morning let's do it."

"Keigo-"

"I can't give you any children, but shit-" keigo had been feeling so many emotions with all this going on but he kept up a smile for you

"I hate that it took this all to happen. But I do love you F/n...more than a friend, and i would be so happy if you married me tomorrow."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"You're serious?"

He just nodded

Not knowing where to even start you cried boy happy and sad tears telling him "Yes!"

"Keigo I've loved you for so long!"

And for the first time the two of you shared a kiss

First thing the next morning the two of you went to the court house to make it official

The two of you were so in a rush you didnt even get real rings instead the two of you bought ring pops

Hawks got you a cherry flavor one

And you got him watermelon

The marriage was simple and quick

The two of you didnt want to waste any time together

Cause these were your last 24

You did a few couple things but more than anything you just wanted to spend the rest of the time you had with him

Hawks got the two of you a honeymoon suite

Where the two of you laid in bed talking

Imagining what your lives would have been like together

Things eventually got started to get a bit hot and heavy but you'd stop him

Looking away from his gaze while he was over you

"Keigo...I've never....you know.."

He'd frown, "You never what? Ohhhh." He then exclaimed once he realized what you meant

"Really?...wait so you were gonna die without-"

Feeling embarrassed you tried to to hid your face, "I know just never talked to anyone really and you were the only one I wanted for so long....and I didnt want to tell you...I didnt know how you'd react I'm sorry dont-"

"Babe, clam down."

He rested his head against yours

"We dont have too."

"But I want too." You'd tell him

And so Keigo would make love with you for the first time

After the two of you would lay there together

Smiling, "we should have done that a long time ago."

Keigo laughed, "I know right"

Laying on his chest, "We're idiots."

"I love you f/n..."

"I'm glad to be spending my last few hours with you."

You smiled and held on to him tighter

"You're the best husband I could have asked for."

"You're the best wife."

"Do you think you'll get married again.."

Keigo didnt answer you

"I want you too."

"Y/n...."

You sat up, "This is my final will...and testimony...I want you to find someone else...dont live alone and sad. our friendship is beautiful and I love you..so when I'm gone I still want you to live...live for both of us...okay?"

Keigo wanted to stop you from talking but he knew this was important for you even if he didnt want to hear it

"....okay."

"You promise?"

Keigo didn't look at you, "...promise."

You knew this was going to be hard for him it was already so hard for you

"I'm going to leave now."

"What?" Keigo sat up alarmed "where are you going?"

"I dont want you to see me dead. The last memory I want you to have of me is a happy one."

As you said that you started to get dressed

"Can I talk you out of this? Stay with me?" He wasnt ready to say goodbye

But you said no

By now you only had about two hours left and your mind was made up

"Take this." He got up and gave you one of his feathers "so I'm with you."

"God, that's cheesey." You tried to laugh

But he didnt show any emotions he just wanted to be with you anyway he could "Please."

You nodded taking his feather and the of you shared your last kiss

Then you left

Keigo didnt sleep that night he only wondered what you were doing

After that night Keigo never saw you again

He didn know where you went he only knew you were gone

Keigo wasnt really the same after you were gone he did everything the same

But something was always missing

His best friend

But for your sake he did what you asked he lived

[words-for-holland]

HOW TO CARE FOR A DRUNK GIRLFRIEND

Pairing : Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Y/N may have had a little too much to drink after hanging out with her friends...At least Tom’s there to help. Here’s his guide.

A/N: Wow! Thank you guys for 500! I know I havent posted as much as before but thank you for sticking around on this Tom Holland fangirl journey with me ❤️ Enjoy! Also hi I wrote this drunk as we speak.

“Darling are you just doing a friends night or are we double dating tonight?” Tom asked, as he continued to focus on a rerun of Love Island, unsure of his girlfriends plans for a calm Friday Night. He knew Y/N’s closest friends were already dating each other, and just wanted to make sure she didnt feel like a third wheel when going out with them. Usually it wasnt the case. The three had been friends for so long, it was just in their nature to act like best friends just like Tom was with Harrison, Twuaine and Harry.

While Tom would rather have Y/N stay home and use this night to spend it cuddling with her all night long, he also knew how long it’s been since she saw them. He wanted her to have a night for herself to let loose and have fun with other people she cared about the most. “It’s just friend’s night, but youre welcome to come join us if you want.” Y/N offered sweetly as she put on the finishing touches to her outfit.

Tom smiled, shaking his head. “No, its okay. Just go out and have fun with your mates. You haven’t seen them in awhile. You three should use it to catch up. I’ll just wait for you here.” He quickly kissed her on the lips, taking in a taste of her vanilla lip gloss, and then leaving a soft kiss on her forehead before she went on her way.

5 hours passed, and Y/N’s friends dropped her home still in one piece. “Baby, Im homeeeee.” Y/N slurs as she tries her best to contain her composure, slightly wobbling to the left and the right. She grabs the edge of the table to steady herself as she makes her way close to Tom.

Tom notices the change in her demeanor and knows right away she was drunk...completely wasted. “Jesus darling. Hold on let me get you a glass of water.” He says right away, letting Y/N take a seat.

“What??Im totally fine!” She says, her eyes starting to close. “I just had a little bit of wine that Sean brought for the table. I didnt like it but it was good.” She giggles. “Did you know that I could drink a lot of alcohol?”

Tom laughs at her question as he hands her the water to drink. “I mean anyone can, but I dont think you can handle it.”

“What do you mean Im doing fantast—.” Y/N stopped mid-sentence as she felt her stomach gurgle. “Uh oh.” She says, as she makes her way to the bathroom, spilling out the contents in the toilet. “That’s disgusting.” She comments as Tom quickly held her hair up, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

“Lightweight.” Tom chuckled to himself, as he continued to soothe his girlfriend.

“I heard that you dipshit. Im drunk not blind.” Y/N yells out.

Tom laughs even harder, wishing he had his phone on him to record his girlfriend’s antics. “Cmon then, lets get you cleaned up and ready for bed.”

“Yeah, yeah, but I need to pee.” Y/N comments as she gets up. “Oh my god.” She says.

Tom’s eyes widen, in fear that something might have happened. “What’s wrong?!” He asks with a slight hint of panic hiding in his voice.

“Im bleeding.” She murmurs. “Oh my god, Im bleeding!” She exclaims.

“Period too?” Tom comments, so he didnt have to just take care of a drunk girlfriend...it was a drunk girlfriend on her period, what did he do to deserve such a combination. He quickly went to grab Y/N her favorite set of pads, and a new shirt to sleep in, helping her change.

“I dont do sex on the first date.” She slurs closing her eyes. Tom smiles at her statement, as he finishes changing her. “It’s okay darling, I would never take advantage of you. And first date? Girl please, even drunk you knows we’ve been dating for a whole three years.” Tom responds in his sassiest voice.

Y/N couldn’t even comprehend half the words Tom was saying to her as she immediately laid back on the bed...only to fall three seconds later on off the bed and to the floor.

Thump

“Jesus Y/N!” Tom exclaimed helping her up. “I think I have to reconsider you going out on Friends Night without me. You’re gonna hurt yourself like this darling.”

“Noo Im fine!” She whines as she tries to fall asleep.

Tom lays with her cuddling and keeping Y/N close to him. “Sure you are.” He mumbles.

A few moments of silence pass before Y/N speaks out. “Tommy?” She whispers.

“Hmm”

“Do you...do you really think Im enough for you?” She asks. This must be her emotional drunk stage talking.

“Y/N... you are more than enough for me. You’re all I could ever ask for. Your smart, funny, creative, and a gently soul. I love you so much and despite what anyone says...You are the most perfect human being to me. I hope you remember that, sober or not. You’re the only one for me.” He says aloud, looking into her eyes.

Y/N looks at him, smiling. She puts her hand on his cheeks, stroking it ever so softly. “Thank you...I love you so much.”

Tom smiles back in return, kissing her forehead. “I love you too.”

[strawbunniiee]

A Girl and a Ghost Ch 5. Precious Rose

SOOOO this one is a bit lengthy!! there’s a bit of blood, a lil language, so fair warning! oh yeah and HEHEHE SPOILER ALERT THERE’S SOME TASTY PHANTOMEACH MWAHAHAHHAA

i had a LOT of fun writing the phantom and peach fluff hehehe ;)

dont worry!! this definitely won’t be the last chapter either, there’s still gonna be more of my cheesy fic sjfndkfd

hope you enjoy!! @salamifuposey @monsterbride99 just letting these lovely hooman beans know that this chapter exists!!

Jawaii had her arms raised, ready to slice King Boo to ribbons, but the king blasted her back into a wall.

Jawaii had the wind knocked out of her lungs as she slid to the floor.

Phantom rushed to Jawaii's side, picking up her petite body. His eyes became a deep, dark blood red as he shot a murderous glare at King Boo.

"She didn't even stand a chance." he smirked.

Phantom charged a blast of blue fire in his palm. "DIE!" he screamed, hurling it at the king with all of his might.

He had attempted to avoid it, but he wasn't fast enough. The ball engulfed him in flames as he screamed.

The king flung a fireball from his cracked crown, but due to his crown being damaged, it spiraled out of control, which hit Phantom in the process but also set the attic ablaze. He gasped and grabbed Peach's body.

Jawaii regained her breath and jumped off of Phantom.

"JAWAII, NO!"

She didn't listen, instead she ran to King Boo and aimed to tackle him. She phased right through him and onto the floor. This just made him guffaw.

"YOU IDIOT! OH, YOU MORONS JUST MAKE ME LAUGH!"

Phantom began to inhale, gathering air in his body to let out the loudest, most powerful opera scream he had ever sung.

King Boo saw this as an opportunity to take Peach back from Phantom. The ghost Rabbid glanced over at Jawaii in panic, as if begging her to do something.

Jawaii leaped up while the king was distracted and stabbed him, taking great effort to make it as painful as possible for him. It cut open his skin, creating a massive gash on the side of his face, bleeding out a strange blood-like substance, perhaps ectoplasm.

The king let out a monstrous howl as he fell over onto the floor screaming, his hands over the gash.

Then, Phantom finally let out his scream, after inhaling so much air he felt like he was about to explode. It was a force so strong, so powerful that it blew a massive hole in the attic, blowing the bleeding king far away, all the way to the swamps in Spooky Trails.

Both of their ears rung from the noise.

Peach began to slowly wake up. Phantom picked up Jawaii and burst out of the hole in the manor, taking the three of them away.

———

Peach screamed when she fully woke up.

"Wh-where am I? Who are you? ...Oh. Mr. Tom?... what happened?" the princess sputtered out, deeply confused by what was happening. "All I remember is... King Boo taking me away, and then... nothing. And... who's the little girl?"

Phantom's face turned red and his eyes widened as he shyly looked away, blushing. "Ah, w-well... Princess, it's a rather complicated st-story, you see,—"

"Phantom, why don't you and I tell her what happened together? Maybe it'll be a lot easier that way!" Jawaii chimed in cheerfully.

Phantom smiled at Jawaii. "I suppose you're quite right!"

The two happily retold Peach everything that had happened, complete with how the two became friends, their adventure in Spooky Trails, leading all the way up to them rescuing her from King Boo.

"Oh my goodness, what a story! It sounds very scary but exciting at the same time! I'm glad that you're safe and sound, though!" beamed Peach.

Phantom blushed yet again. "Oh, why thank you dear Princess! I'm quite happy you went on unscathed as well."

"Hang on a sec, you know this lady Phantom? She seems very nice!" asked Jawaii.

"O-oh, yes yes! I do know her. We're, erm, friends." Phantom said quickly.

Jawaii squinted suspiciously at him. "You seem super awkward in front of her. Do you have a crush on her or somethin'?"

Phantom's face was a bright red tomato at this point. "N-no, that's preposterous, o-of course not! Why, no male and female can be t-together without people believing that they are lovers!"

Peach giggled a bit. Jawaii grinned mischievously.

"You know, Jawaii has a point. Do you have a crush on me..?" asked Peach.

"...N-no, it's just hot out here. I act a b-bit strangely when it's scorching hot like this!" It was actually quite cold that morning, contrary to Phantom's statement. "Oh, and would you look at th-that, we're here already!"

They had made it to the silent castle in the early hours of the morning. The sun had not even come up yet, still pitch black and silent. Phantom set Peach and Jawaii down gently.

"...Thank you so much for saving me from King Boo, Tom." Peach gave Phantom a gentle kiss on the cheek. His face violently blushed as he had a look of sheer surprise on his face, his jaw hanging open. Jawaii couldn't help but snicker at the look on Phantom's face.

"I... oh my! I wasn't e-expecting that, my princess." Phantom stammered.

Peach simply just smiled. "Would you like me to get you a room to stay in for the rest of the night? You two must be very exhausted after your dangerous adventure together!"

"That would be very much appreciated!"

"Oh... Jawaii? Should I tell your parents where you are...?" asked Peach, concerned.

Oh crud, I totally FORGOT about that. thought Jawaii.

"Uhhhhh... I'm sure they're fine! I'll just come back when the sun's up!"

"All right, then. I'll be right back in just a moment!" Peach walked off.

Phantom went silent.

"Hey uh... now that she isn't here... do you actually have a crush on her?" asked Jawaii.

Phantom looked around and whispered in Jawaii's ear. "To be completely honest, yes. I do. She's the most beautiful, kind woman I have ever met... and thanks to King Boo bringing back the memories of my past life, I know that I had spent my past life attempting to get her to notice me. But it had resulted in my demise."

"First of all, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, no shit Sherlock, for a theater nerd you're a TERRIBLE liar y'know." she teased lightheartedly. "Second of all, ouch... that really sucks. But hey! In this life you befriended her!"

Phantom sighed. "I wish so dearly that we could be together. I tried so hard in my past life, I sacrificed so much to get her to notice me... but that red capped demon had gotten in the way countless times. And worst of all... he and Peach are together."

Phantom began to softly sob, his hands over his face in despair. Jawaii slowly walked over and gave him a hug.

"Aw... I'm so sorry about that... But my mom says it's not good to bottle up emotions. Maybe you should tell her how you feel..?" she suggested.

Phantom just stared in silence for a few moments before he finally responded. "...Perhaps."

"Maybe I could help you with it!"

"...No, i-it's best for me to simply just... tell her. I've known her for quite a while now, but I've mostly been too nervous to do as much as speak to her."

Jawaii hugged him again, even tighter than the last time. "I'm here for you, best friend." she smiled.

Phantom hugged back. "...Thank you, Jawaii."

After a few minutes, Peach came back in to tell them that their room was ready.

"Sorry about the wait! We had a few issues... come on in, it's much comfier in here than it is out there. It's so cold out." she said.

"Oh! You're all right, Princess."

Peach escorted the two into the castle and into their room. Just like outside, the castle was very dark. It had little to no light other than the light of the stars and moon softly shining through the windows.

When they arrived, Peach opened the door. The room was very tidy and had very expensive looking furnishings, and two extremely fluffy beds with plentiful amounts of pillows and blankets. Jawaii gasped and immediately began to jump on the bed. Phantom and Peach laughed a bit at Jawaii's antics.

"Well, sweet dreams you two. You both deserve it after the adventure you've had tonight! And thank you both again for saving me... that was such a terrifying experience. No matter how many times I get kidnapped, it's always so scary."

She smiled and blew them both kisses. Phantom blushed.

"Ah... you're welcome, Peach. Bonne nuit."

Peach smiled and closed the door. She went back off to bed happily.

"What the shit did you say to her? Bun... bon-nue. What?" Jawaii asked, deeply confused.

Phantom quietly chuckled. "Bonne nuit. It's French for good night."

"The heck's a French?"

"Heh heh. Perhaps I shouldn't be laughing, for you're an alien child. You don't know everything about Earth and that's understandable!"

"No, it's okay. I like to make people laugh. 'Cuz it means I made them happy!" replied Jawaii.

Phantom smiled at Jawaii once more. "We should get some rest, my child. We've had a very long day. Bonne nuit, Jawaii." He laughed a bit at his own joke.

Jawaii smiled. "Nighty night, Phantom." She yawned and stretched and sprawled out on her bed, quickly falling asleep within a matter of minutes.

Phantom, however, lay awake in his bed, thinking about what Jawaii had told him to do. He tossed and turned, pondering his decision. His heart throbbed, wondering what would happen.

Then, he decided.

He was going to tell her tonight. He had figured that he may as well get it over with now.

He nervously got out of bed and quietly phased through the walls to get to Peach's bedroom, where she had still laid awake. She was slightly startled by Phantom seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

"Oh! Tom? Is there... something you need?" she asked

"Well... there is something I must tell you. I've hidden it from you for so long... because I was afraid of being rejected, I suppose." he admitted.

"Oh... Well, what is it?"

"I know that you are already taken... b-but..." Phantom covered his blushing face with his hands, and forced himself to finally choke out the words.

"I l-love you."

He knew that this was the end. She was going to kick him out of her castle... or far worse.

But her response shocked him down to his very gramophone.

"Well... if I'm completely honest, I have feelings for you too. That peck on the cheek earlier... was something I've wanted to do for a long time." she smiled and looked away a bit.

Phantom stared dumbfounded at her. He couldn't believe it. "B-b-but, you— and M-Mario—" he stammered.

"Oh, that's just a rumor that goes around... everybody seems to think that! He's still a very close friend of mine, and I'm so glad he's saved me so many times."

"Erm... speaking of that... King Boo told me something about myself that not even I had known. I... I was a human once. I wanted so badly for you to notice me... each time you were kidnapped, I always attempted to save you... but my attempts were futile, for Mario always saved you before I ever could. But one day, King Boo trapped you in a painting... and for the first time, I had arrived in time to save you. Unfortunately, he had killed me and sealed my soul inside a gramophone. I had forgotten about this previous life... until he had told me. Then all of the memories rushed inside me. Saving you had felt... like I had finally fulfilled my goal." he explained.

"...Actually... now that I think of it, I do remember a handsome young man who had clothes not different than yours who had come to save me from him. I remember his beautiful deep voice... with that accent... it was your voice! Your voice was always so familiar to me...but I could never figure out where I heard it."

Phantom's face turned red from the complements. "P-princess, please stop flattering me..."

She giggled. "You haven't become any less handsome than you were as a human, you know."

Before Phantom could respond, she kissed him again. This time, on the lips.

The two kissed under the pale morning moonlight shimmering down into the room.

[dibs4ever]

I want to keep you

Barbara laid back in her bed. Feeling exhausted

No she hadn’t been out patrolling

She hadn’t done that in months

But she was so tired she felt like she’d been on a full nights patrol. She hadn’t slept more than 6 hours combined in the last 3 days

Why?

Her fingers danced across the reason

Her swollen belly, with a little life growing inside

A baby boy to be exact

She was 8 and a half months pregnant, she’d picked out an amazing couple to be his parents. Greg and Neil, they’d been on the waiting list for a baby for the last 23 months and she was giving them the baby they so desperately wanted. She was doing the right thing right? The child would be born half an orphan. His father dead. Her a single woman with no experience on what it was like to be a mother, a full time librarian, Batgirl, and living in a dangerous city. Police commissioner Jim Gordon’s 20 something year old daughter, a single mom to a father she refused to name . Wasn’t exactly the smartest move.

Dick....she missed him. She missed him so much it hurt still even 8 months later.

Her fingers danced across her belly, feeling the flutters. It was an odd yet thrilling sensation feeling the baby boy move. She had her shirt up so she could see her bare belly move around as the baby did so.

She smiled “You’re the reason I haven’t slept. Moving around like that.” She felt what she assumed to be his foot kick her hand and laughed

“Okay well part of it, other part is my own anxieties. Not much longer and you’ll be here and honestly I’m scared.”

Another kick

“Not about birth, that’s actually the part I’m least scared of. I don’t want to have you though. Being pregnant means-“

She blinked back tears before continuing “Being pregnant means you’re with me, once I have you-you’ll be gone. I mean I know Greg and Neil will be amazing parents. They’re going to love you to no end and you’re going to be provided for it’s just....” she took a breath “Dont tell anyone but a part of me wants to keep you, see what traits of me and....him you have ya know” another kick

Barbara’s tears were replaced with a weak giggle “I’m almost positive you got his acrobatic genes. All I’ve felt you do the last month is flip around inside me and punch me in the ribs while doing so, getting tight in there Huh buddy?”

As if on cue she felt the motion inside her gut that had became familiar. She held her breath holding her hands on her belly feeling the weird sensation as the baby did a full body flip inside her.

She let out a grunt, lying there for a moment til the baby was situated and she wasn’t uncomfortable.

She thought back to that night. Nightwing and Batgirl both just had a rough battle, ending a long three month investigation with success.

Joy, adrenaline and exhaustion running through their bodies. They stood on a rooftop, taking the time to cool down and enjoy the view before heading to their apartments for a long deserved rest.

They would stay together. They’d been dating in secret now for five months. Thinking that maybe if they let themselves get into a firm stable relationship perhaps this time it would work forever. Although they were sure some people knew. They did belong to a family of some of the worlds greatest detectives after all.

He’d wrapped his arms around her from behind as she stood on the edge looking at all the lights below. She felt his chin come to a rest on her shoulder “It’s beautiful isn’t it?” She asked

He nodded against her “Yeah it is”

She smiled leaning into him, enjoying the peaceful moment

“But I’m not talking about the skyline.” He whispered before turning her chin so their lips could meet

That was all the convincing it took. Both were more than starved for touch. Having been preparing for this raid and rehearsing it for two weeks along with trying to keep their relationship secret It made their love making non existent as of recently.

Together they made love on top of Gotham’s tallest building overlooking the city they loathed below.

She was pulled out of her daydream by the life inside her moving again. He did that a lot. A constant reminder of what he was. The product of her and Dick.

She didn’t want to see him. She’d decided that once the baby was out she wanted them to rush him out of the room immediately. If she never saw him it’d make it less real

“If only he was here” Barbara said her hand on her stomach as tears attempted to build up. This was something that had been happening a lot lately. She assumed it was through a mixture of hormones and perhaps the reality of what she’d do soon

“ I want to keep you more than anything- you’re like my last piece of my best friend,but I can’t be selfish”

Should I do a second part of Barbara meeting her & Dick’s son?