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btstulip · 4 months ago

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Jimin being bullied in AYS?

I never expected to be writing about this, but I feel it's important to talk about. Bullying and toxic behavior is serious and I keep seeing it come up when people talk about Are You Sure?! episode 3 in Jeju.

Frequently when reading about people's reactions to AYS, I find myself wondering if we've watched the same show. Even though I know our own life experiences influence how we see the world, it's always amazing to me how different that perception can sometimes be.

I am not here to tell anyone they are wrong about Jungkook and Tae and it makes no difference to me if you like them or not. I am only hoping to give people the chance to look again from a different perspective and maybe ask themselves what kind of lens they may be viewing this episode (and maybe life) through.

It’s not my perspective I want to show you… it’s Jimin’s.

This is going to be a bit long, but I hope that you will read to the end and feel free to discuss or share your own perspective in a respectful way.

▶︎ Jimin feeling sick

Before getting into what Jungkook and Tae did that has upset people, we have to discuss Jimin feeling unwell. I want to start by pointing out that Jimin is in a good mood and his stomach does not seem to be slowing him down. Obviously he isn't 100% and he mentions feeling like he will vomit if he eats, but we see him drinking without issue and otherwise seeming fine. He's having fun at the restaurant and even chases Tae.

Let me repeat that, Jimin chases Tae down the street, abandoning his shoes! I am not saying Jimin doesn't feel sick, but he is obviously far from miserable.

The most popular theory is that Jimin has motion sickness from driving since he is known to get motion sick. I personally struggle with this theory since he is in such a good time in the car and not holding back puke the whole time. My personal theory is that Jimin is probably hungover, but obviously I could be wrong. Another reasonable guess would be that he is recovering from food poisoning or a stomach bug where he is feeling better, but still fragile. Either way, he seems okay for the most part.

▶︎ Bullying or playing?

I'm going to try to stick to the events in this section, but please keep reading because I have some things I want to point out in the next section.

It starts with the guys hanging out on the floor together having fun just being with each other. Tae and Jungkook start head banging while Jimin lays on the ground next to them. Jimin then sits up and says he feels sick. Then he tries to lay on Jungkook, but they both laugh when Jungkook stops him (while looking directly at the camera). At that point Tae spins Jimin around and wants Jimin to join them in head banging, but Jimin says he might throw up.

Jimin goes along with it anyway right up until his stomach revolts. At this point, Jimin pushes Tae's hand away and lays down. Tae laughs and Jimin smiles. Pretty sure he is feeling a bit like an old man.

Shortly later we see Jimin happily hanging out on the floor and singing when Jungkook decides to go swimming.

Then comes the water guns. Jimin is relaxing on the ground singing to himself when Jungkook runs up and sprays him and then runs off to ambush Tae. Jimin says he's exhausted at this point, but he doesn't seem upset, more like just stating facts and maybe explaining why he isn't joining them. There's lots more spraying by Jungkook, then Jimin goes back to singing while they reload and both come back for another round and soak Jimin. All the while they are spraying him, Jimin keeps laughing. Even when you can't pick out Jimin's individual laugh, (after 1 min mark in the video below) you can see his shoulders moving and at the end, you can clearly hear him laugh to himself, still entertained by the antics of these big kids.

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Jimin changes into swim trunks and watches his friends play in the pool before sitting down and talking to us about how he is getting older and his body doesn't work the same anymore. He's obviously not feeling up to joining Tae and Jungkook in the pool, but he's smiling and moving around. And after talking to some birds, he decides to nap on the ground instead of going to lay down in bed.

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Also, after a little nap and rest, Jimin starts running around with the water guns and then they all go to indoor rock climb and ride go-carts.

▶︎ Jimin isn't helpless. Period.

I have rewatched the footage over and over so I can look critically at the situation and three key things stand out to me:

Jimin isn't "that" sick. I am not trying to minimize how Jimin felt at all. He was obviously unwell and wanted to rest. However Jimin wasn't so sick that he couldn't get up and leave if he had wanted to. He had lots of chances to go lay down in bed and chose to stay over and over again. But we saw Jimin go all out chasing Tae earlier, and after a nap, Jimin is back to goofing around.

People need to respect Jimin and his choices. He isn't powerless. He knows how to set boundaries and chooses which boundaries to set, like pushing Tae's hand away when he feels like he might puke. Jimin is not being forced to stay downstairs, start round two with the water guns, go rock climbing, or ride go-carts. All of these were his choice and point to him feeling well enough and wanting to participate in the ways he chooses.

Jungkook and Tae are playing and laughing with Jimin. They are not trying to be mean to Jimin, they are including him in their fun. And we clearly see Jimin laughing and smiling in response. Even when he tells Tae to stop spraying him, he says it in a very soft, not assertive way and then continues to stay there and laugh when they keep spraying him. He isn't getting annoyed or frustrated. Jimin may not feel like getting up and running around with them (at least not in that moment because he does later), but he seems more entertained by their behavior than annoyed.

▶︎ Look again

When I watched the first and last time, I saw so much love and joy and I don't know how people missed it.

Love is never an excuse for putting up with someone who treats you badly. When people set boundaries, they should be respected. In order for me to see the behavior in this episode as anything other than harmless play, I would have to believe that Jungkook and Tae were intentionally being cruel, Jimin was upset by how he was being treated, and that Jimin wasn't capable of stopping the situation when ever he wanted. But I just can't find any evidence showing any of that. In fact, I see the opposite.

I’m going to focus only on what we see in this episode, but we have years of evidence that we are ignoring.

When Jimin is actually sleeping, we see both Tae and Jungkook check in on him and leave him to rest peacefully.

And later, when Jimin cut his lip, the panic and concern on both Tae and Jungkook's faces speaks volumes. Yes, it only takes a second for them to realize that Jimin is okay (that's how well they can read him) and return to smiling and being playful. But even when Tae breaks the tension with a fake punch, Jimin doesn't show even the slightest bit of annoyance. This is how they often play together and Jimin is okay with that in this moment.

Can I just point out for a second how funny I find it when Jungkook turns and tells the staff that Jimin got hurt like a little kid telling the teacher? 😂

This is their bond and we only get a glimpse of it. And we can’t forget the fact that Jungkook picked up and brought Jimin his shoes. If touching those things isn't an act of love, I don't know what is. LOL

I watched this episode over and over again and I didn't see Jimin being too sick and weak to set boundaries for himself. If Jimin had wanted Jungkook and Tae to leave him alone, I believe Jimin would have communicated that clearly and firmly and they would have listened. We have years of evidence that both Jungkook and Tae love and respect Jimin, to the point where people feel "shocked by this side of them they have never seen before". I think it's because "this side of them" doesn't exist and has been imagined by people that have forgotten that Jimin can set boundaries and make decisions for himself. I don't understand how people can ignore the evidence in order to see their play filled day together as something toxic and cruel.

Ultimately, it isn't up to us to decide if Jimin is being bullied, it's his. And if you look to him for signs he is upset with what is happening, there just isn't any evidence of that at all.

I say this from a place of love and without judgement... if you are more upset for Jimin than he is, then this may be less about Jimin and his relationships and more about how you feel in yours. If you saw something other than Jimin choosing to participate in his own way and having fun in spite of feeling under the weather, I suggest you spend some time reflecting on your ability to set boundaries for yourself. ❤️

#vminkook #are you sure?!#are you sure #ays #are you sure?! episode 3 #own opinion #own post #own gifs

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fixa-ryeter · 2 years ago

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you know what. thank you to @rovercat ‘s post (sorry for the ping, but i would like to express gratitude) for reminding me of the Mogami Arc essay (slightly loose term) i had written (turns out it was fully written already LMAO) and abandoned because i forgot about it

so here’s the thing in full. apologies for the lack of pictures and the over-abundance of words ,,,

okay.. i know i always throw around the fact that i love the Mogami arc so much and when people ask usually i’m like LMAO BECAUSE ANGST but genuinely? there’s another reason.

there’s just something about being pushed down to rock bottom and being on the brink of becoming what you think is the lowest of the low… and having your perception of morality altered from there.

like listen. Shigeo’s rule of Never Use Powers Against Others is set in soft stone by none other than Arataka Reigen, and it’s reinforced by the alleyway incident with ??? emerging and hurting Ritsu in the process. up until this point his entire theory of how to be a good person like Reigen told him to a few years ago is… do not use your powers. the only exception he’s made is for his brother and it was a pretty reasonable,,, yk,,, his brother got beat up and kidnapped,,, like i would excuse myself for that too.

but enter Keiji Mogami who Challenges that rule. Shigeo has been able to adhere to that rule in his reality because he’s surrounded by good people who will support and defend him, so he has no reason to do it himself with his powers… now Mogami’s world treats him to a whole 180° where he doesn’t have powers, but practically every single person there is such a goddamn piece of fucking shit toward him that he starts wishing he had the power to defend himself. to fight back. to teach them a lesson, even. and when Mogami grants him that power after 6 months of hell… like come on. he’s fourteen. of course he’s going to get influenced. and he did—he had already made the decision to hurt Asagiri.

「僕があんたらに何をしたっていうんだ？さっぱりわからない。でもわからなくていい…どうでもいい…」

“What have I ever done to you? I don’t understand at all. But it’s okay if I don’t understand. It doesn’t matter…”

yeah i don’t know about you but to me that definitely sounds like a kid ready to succumb to using power

but then comes Dimple, who snaps him out of it, and he never truly lays a finger on Asagiri… but he’d already made the decision that it would be okay to do that, before Dimple stepped in. Shigeo has already lost to Mogami…

not really.

Mogami thinks the world is abhorrent. he’s had his own spoonfuls of poison that give him this view: the world is full of malicious humans who do bad and get away with it, so why not punish them? they are the people who should suffer the negative consequences, and it’s not wrong to wield your power to give them those consequences. they deserve it. it’s necessary, essential to punish wrongdoers. he wants Shigeo, one of the most powerful espers in the series, to empathise with his view. and he does. Mogami influences Shigeo to hurt someone. But it’s Dimple that influences him not to carry through with it, and here’s what i really want to expand upon.

influence is a powerful thing, but it’s not about winning or losing to influence; to me, this arc is (at least partially) about what influences you. what shapes you to be the person you are? what experiences lead you to bad deeds? what events lead you to good actions?

Mogami and Shigeo have both touched on this; it’s partially up to luck to decide whether you’re surrounded with good or bad people, and whether you grow up with good or bad influences… and those will shape you as a person. you don’t put all the blame on a person for their actions, because there’s another question to ask after ‘are their actions good or bad?’—‘why do they do this?’

reality is chock full of these examples, big or small. as a child who had great expectations (Dickens!) put on him, i grew up to be a person conscious of my achievements and how others perceive me; many of my actions have the purpose of keeping up an impression i want to withhold of myself.

but let’s shrink back from reality to anime—Teruki Hanazawa, a boy unlucky enough to have absent parents who don’t give him the love he needs, abusing his powers for a perfect world where he is acknowledged, praised, worshipped. Katsuya Serizawa, a man unlucky enough to be given powers he doesn’t know how to control, shutting himself in his room until he is manipulated by Toichirou Suzuki and dragged out of his room to become a terrorist. Fuck it—Yusuke Sakurai, who never experienced the good of society as a young child, feeling the need to put himself in an organisation who claims to be above society, to take over the world because to absolute hell with a society who’s never treated him well. They’ve all got their backstories, the things that shaped them into what they became in their futures. And each of them were also influenced by others to become better versions of themselves: Teruki and Serizawa by Shigeo, and Sakurai by Reigen.

it’s easy to put the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ labels on people, but i think that the Mogami Arc is against doing this so simply. the ability to empathise with one’s environment and experiences is the most important thing here. it’s what Shigeo learns from how he has been influenced by the people around him, but ultimately, Mogami, someone who had managed to make him a ‘bad person’ who was willing to hurt, even if only for a short while. it’s also why i think that the Mogami Arc is integral to how the World Domination Arc played out—Shigeo empathises with Toichirou. he offers to be someone to talk to, and up until 100% Resignation, attempts again and again to make Toichirou see that there is a way out of the lonely world both of them have seen and lived in, to make Toichirou willing to turn over a new leaf. and even after that, how he tries to absorb Toichirou’s energy to let him have a chance at apologising to his family, to become a better person by righting his wrongs… how to use his empathy is something that Shigeo learns from this arc, i think.

the Mogami Arc is also a testimony to Shigeo’s kindness.

「まだ最低な浅桐さんを助けてないんだから。」

“I’ve yet to save that horrible Asagiri-san.”

she’s been a horrendous character to him. Shigeo knows this full well, and yet he still tries his fucking hardest to save her. when he’s met with a vile personality like Toichirou’s, he displays remarkable insistence of trying to talk to him, to empathise with the world he lives in, no matter how much Toichirou hurts him in spite of his kind intentions. (if only he could grant himself this kindness earlier.)

like, shit. the world sure can be horrible. but the bitterness that Mogami carries doesn’t fix shit; it’s Shigeo’s faith in the power of influence and relationships between people that does. by being a kind person, he’s able to influence others to change, at least a little, for the better. Asagiri and Toichirou are good examples of this. it’s also neat fucking proof that people rely on each other, because influence comes from each other!!

so in short: i fucking adore the Mogami arc because of how it explores empathy and kindness, and ties them together. how Shigeo can change others with his kindness, and how we learn that we’re capable of changing others for the better, so why not try do to that?

#mob psycho 100 #mogami arc #mogami keiji #kageyama shigeo #mp100 analysis #mp100 #did you know i love the mogami arc with all my heart #mp100 meta

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big-coyote · 11 months ago

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(this is the oc anon) i also forgot to ask but is there stuff that i could write about them to give them more depth as a therian? i dont think i am one, i may be animalhearted i tthink is the word, but ive seen posts about how being alterhumans not always pretty and fun and want to incorporate that too but again i dont know enough abt that hah ! thank you so much by the way

(2/2) Hello again! This is a follow up to the first ask! If you have any of your own thoughts feel free to comment or reblog!

I don’t think there’s any one universal experience in being a Therian or having a nonhuman identity. Some find it a very positive experience overall while others find it a very stressful and difficult experience. I think like many other identities there will be good and bad, fluctuations in how your OC may feel at any given time.

Maybe they at first try to hide their identity and feel ashamed. They don’t talk about it to anyone and feel like they are making it all up in their head, many therians I’ve meet often have imposter syndrome in their own lives. And maybe overtime your Oc learns to push through the feelings of doubt before finely embracing their identity in all of its forms.

Maybe they have always had a feeling they were different. Despite everything they felt separated from their peers and loved ones around them, but never had words to properly describe their feelings. Until one day they discover their identity and it all clicks into place, they find the correct words for their feelings and it all makes sense. The years of feeling out of place finely comes together and they feel at ease with this new found understanding of themselves.

Maybe they don’t care about their identity all that much. Maybe it is only one small factor of their life and there are other things that take priority over it. They may still be a Therian but they are also have many other identities or aspirations that influence them and make them who they are. Their job, their school, their friends, their family, their religion, their gender, their race, their sexuality, other parts of their lives take priority first so being a Therian is just one more thing to them.

Maybe they feel dread. They hate the body they live in and they loath the life they live. Being nonhuman has been one small bright spot in their life, but they wish they could run away from it all. Go into the world as their true self and be seen for what they are on the inside rather then the outside.

Or maybe they’ve always known they were a Therian and have loved every second of it. They are out, proud and loud. No shame. No guilt. They love their lives as authenticity and happily as possible without a single doubt.

There is no right to wrong way to feel about your own personal identity, that’s entirely up to you to decide. Or- I guess your OC to decide lol. I feel like looking at your OCs lives experience and their personality might be the best way to build a story about how they feel about their identity. I find it really fascinating when characters perception of themselves is shaped by the world they live in or how they experience things.

I’ve heard about being animalhearted which seems really interesting! I do hope you’re able to continue on your OC and again if you have more questions/want to share stuff my DMs are always open to chat! Thanks so much for the ask! I appreciate it! :D

#otherkin #alterhuman #wolf therian #otherhearted #otherkith #therian community #therian help #coyote therian #nonhuman #wolfkin #therianthrope #therianthropy #raven therian #alterhuman community

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a-wolf-at-the-door · 1 year ago

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I've been thinking about the No-Thing. Obviously, in the process of unbecoming a No-Thing, it stopped being. Despite no longer being, it does still exist, otherwise it wouldn't be able to know that it is a No-Thing.

In that case, if one would be able to step into the Void and survive, how would they perceive the No-Thing? Would it be a visible No-Thing? Would it be a feeling? A sound? In what perceivable way does the No-Thing exist? Not necessarily for the human perception systems. We are quite limited in those.

OR is the No-Thing's perception of itself so skewed with suffering and change that it no longer perceives itself as a thing that IS? Could it be that the No-Thing still is, but can't conceive the notion of its being?

I miss Rose :( she was in far less pain than the No-Thing.

Hope your week is going well, and that your weekend gets you very well-rested.

First off thanks for your well wishes and I hope your week is going well too!

I’m so glad you’re thinking about this, I have spent many hours wondering about exactly this question. I have four answers for your one question. They take the form of bad news, good news, a twist, and a promise. The twist is an essay tbh, get ready for a long read!

The bad news: I don’t have a satisfying answer to what the No-Thing is and how the No-Thing would hypothetically be perceived. This is partly because it’s a counterfactual hypothetical: the No-Thing isn’t. Is. There isn’t anyone else doing the perceiving, and if anyone else were to enter the Void they’d be either killed or No-Thing-ified too, excepting those with a Void ship, but my understanding was that part of the way the Void ship worked was by preventing external perception anyway… The other reasons I don’t have a satisfying answer: answering might involve a little bit of spoiler-ing that I don’t want to do, and also, though I pretend otherwise, I can’t entirely wrap my head around the concept of unbeing either! I’m trying to convey not only that which cannot be conveyed but also that which cannot be comprehended, and to get across the truly incomprehensible I can’t cheat and comprehend it!

The good news: You get to decide how to imagine it! Each reader probably has a different understanding of what it must be like for the No-Thing in the Void. Our imagination of unbeing is informed by our individual experiences of being, of embodiment, of identity. I know I move through the world of being very differently than many in my circles, partly due to big Identity Labels™ (cis woman, queer, short, thin, young, white, Latina, neurodivergent, etc. and oops! Now you know a lot more about me!) and partly due to non-Identity Label™ experiences, traumatic and restorative and neutral alike.

The twist: I lied a little, or told a half-truth. Definitely true thing: I believe that stories are always collaborations between writer and reader. Writers provide the scaffolding and readers fill it in and make it particular. We can try all we like to evoke a certain experience, but everyone brings their own background and experiences and lens to the story, so no two people ever really read the same story. And so with that, I think it’s the author’s responsibility to let go. The words on the page are published and the rest of the work is up to the reader to determine and decipher however they may.

But.

I am feeling a little irresponsible.

So I’m gonna tell you more about what inspired the way I write the Void. This isn’t technically a direct answer, nor is it meant to be the sole interpretation of the Void. If you don’t like it, you can always ignore it! Anything I say about these fics is pretty much “fan interpretation” unless it’s in the body of the fic. Here, I’m not really the all-knowing author, I’m just someone who gets to read ahead before everyone else. (because I wrote it lol)

So. How and why do I write the Void (and the No-Thing) the way I do?

The easy answer would be to point to some literary influences. I drew on some elements from DW canon. I love The Magnus Archives podcast and The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater (who is just generally a huge influence on my writing style, I adore her and her work). I consume a lot of speculative fiction and poetry and interesting science writing.

But the real deep-rooted influence of my imagining of the Void is rooted in my mental health challenges. I want to first couch this by saying I’m in a really good place right now and have been for a while. I’ve done a LOT of therapy and I’m on the right medications and I’m making a ton of progress taking care of myself, but I have at points in my life suffered from intense depression, anxiety, and complex trauma. I also have ADHD (but I don’t like saying I “suffer from” that one because it’s so intrinsic to who I am). I’m about to talk about these mental health things in a bit more depth so if you’re not comfy reading about them skip ahead to the promise!

Ok.

I have always struggled with embodiment. Not so much with my specific body—I have a lot of privilege as a thin cis woman and I want to acknowledge that—but with the idea of being in a body to begin with. I blame some of that on the Catholic Church teaching me that the body and all its earthly desires are bad things, and some of it on growing up surrounded by people with a lot of internalized fatphobia, and some of it on growing up intellectually gifted in a society that has a bedrock belief in Cartesian dualism (mind and body are separate, mind is superior to body, mind is pure and godly and must be cultivated, body is impure and animalistic and must be controlled/repressed). My thoughts have always been so fast (thanks ADHD) that I often felt like my body was a limitation.

I have long been very antagonistic towards embodiment and am only recently (past few years) beginning to truly unpack and heal from that. For a very long time the narrative in my head was like this: I am a mind and my mind is clever and creative and quick and capable of so much. My body is an inconvenience. Taking care of it takes time away from the extraordinary things my mind can do. Why does my body betray me by needing sleep, needing food and water, needing bathroom breaks and tooth-brushing and medicine and moisturizer? Why can’t I write as fast as I think? Why can’t I just be a cloud of disembodied thought?

A lot of egotism, a lot of shame. The two often go hand in hand.

These thoughts go back as far as I can remember. I learned to type really fast because I have memories of being a toddler watching my mom typing away and being jealous because handwriting was too slow for me to get my stories out.

I was also a pretty morbid kid. Like seriously, I would read the obituaries in the newspaper and search specifically for young deaths. I don’t know where this came from—I have been very lucky and have still not lost many people close to me, and at that time I hadn’t really lost anyone close to me at all. But I thought a lot about death.

I wasn’t a very good Catholic. I scored highly in religion class because I scored highly in almost every class, and I could believe that Jesus had really existed and done all that stuff the Bible said, but my faith broke down when I thought about death. Hell was terrifying. Purgatory was still beyond my comprehension. My real issue was with Heaven. It sounded interminably boring.

Before anything else, I am and have always been a writer. And as a writer I know that plot relies on conflict. So a reality where everything is perfect all the time and everyone is happy and nothing bad ever happens? Couldn’t get behind it.

As I started losing my faith, my thoughts turned more towards oblivion. (Cue early-2010s TFiOS-era poetic depression). The idea of winking out into nothing terrified me, consumed my thoughts, kept me up at night. What would death be like? Nothing. And what would Nothing be like?

So you see, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about unbeing. And I’ve spent an awful lot of time ignoring the realities of my being, dissociating from my body because I felt limited by it, ashamed of it, detached from it, betrayed by it. (In reality, I was the one doing the betraying.)

Writing Rose/the No-Thing in the Void has been an exercise in paying attention to my being. Trying to capture absence means I have to better understand presence. And it’s made me a hell of a lot more aware of reality.

Because depression lies to you and tells you that you are nothing, that you know nothing, that you feel nothing. Anxiety lies to you and tells you that you are everything everywhere all at once, that you know and can predict every possible outcome, that you are hyperaware of all that’s happening. The No-Thing is both of these and more and less. Like depression, the Void robs Rose of identity, memory, connection, but also like depression, it does so imperfectly. She is not unsalvageable because no one is ever unsalvageable. Like anxiety, the Void gives her a hyperawareness and detachment, a series of images she can’t quite connect and comprehend, an inner monologue she cannot silence. But also like anxiety, it doesn’t actually bring anything into clear focus or control.

Rose’s journey back towards embodiment is coming, and I’m really excited to write it. Partly for her, and a lot for me. It’s going to mirror some of the lessons I’ve learned as I get more comfortable with the fact that being human means being embodied, that I am on the same team as my body, that it sends messages to me and I choose to listen or ignore them, that it never betrays me but that I can choose whether or not to betray it. Her return will also show more of Bad Wolf as a disability. (Disclaimer: I don’t generally disclose the specifics but I have a few conditions that can be classed as disabilities, though they are the sort that can be managed thanks to modern medicine, my parents’ health insurance [thanks Obama!], and a lot of luck and privilege, so with the exception of rogue flare-ups, they don’t usually have disabling effects on my day-to-day life.)

The promise: Rose will return. Can I promise she’ll be in less pain? No. But can I promise she’ll come back and grapple with her new challenges and do it all with characteristic aplomb? Yes.

Ok that’s all! Hope you enjoyed the essay that didn’t really answer your question lol, now go forth and imagine!

#ask lia #spoilers for my fic lol #tw mental health #tw mental illness #tw anxiety #tw depression #tw body issues #oops I wrote an essay #tw religious trauma

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seventeenlovesthree · 2 years ago

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Since I’ve been in rambly mode recently, I wanted to pick up some of the points I thought were highly interesting when it came to “how Digimon actually tried to foreshadow (and allude to) Taichi going into politics”. This will not be a FULL analysis, because I always like to include picture evidence to further my points, buuuuuuut I still wanted to get my general thoughts out of the system.

The rant I went into started with the simple notion that I was wondering whether or not Taichi has learned/will learn more languages in the future - since Kaguya-sama’s Chika Fujiwara is supposedly able to speak 5 languages, as her parents are diplomats and Taichi may or may not have become studious (or may have Koushirou develop an auto-translator-device for him, the jury is still out there).

Considering how we saw Taichi already being in his fourth year of political sciences on university level in Kizuna, I was wondering about the transition period here. Because despite the fact that he still seemed pretty aimless by the start of the movie and hadn’t even decided on the topic of his thesis yet, he at least must have had a general idea of where he wanted to go - right?

If you take it at face value - Tri as a whole was contextualizing it by making him not wanting to fight at first and find a better alternative with less damage. That's even what Yamato of all people says about him in the last movie (with only Koushirou going "Nope, I will not risk more lives by letting a reboot happen, I’ll find a different solution" as additional impulse control, but let's not dive further into that).

Either way, the first half of the first Tri movie WAS about Taichi not having figured out any career choices yet - and thanks to being exposed to Daigo working for the government linked to Digimon affairs, his experiences and especially his DEATH may have had a huge impact on Taichi wanting to change the course of how the Digital World is perceived already (especially by the public/media), strengthening the relationships, etc. So in that regard - Tri may actually have succeeded in explaining why Taichi went where he went. It may not have been pleasant to watch him falter so much, but considering everything he went through, it's NOT unlikely, because that's what he HAD to overcome.

But before looking at that, we of course have to include 01 and 02, because the epilogue was interwoven here. Besides Koushirou, he was the most committed to Digital World related shenanigans in 02, adding Yamato at times, but Taichi was already pretty involved there. All iterations of the anime Adventure timeline confront him with making unpleasant choices for the sake of everyone time and time again and while that visibly stressed him every single time (and required some punching to get out of his system), it was basically the best preparation he could have gone through.

Going even further back, in 01, throughout the first half of the season, he displays more of your typical Shounen growth attitudes - overcoming his recklessness, etc. -, nothing too outstanding here, but if you squint, you can already see that as him having to become more "moderate". Once he gets called "leader", he doesn't really apply that to himself yet, BUT he absolutely has the sense of responsibility, not only because he is used to that as a big brother, but because he IS a caring, perceptive person under that layer of "head-through-wall"-attitude of an actual 11-year-old.

And then in the second half of 01, he was seen contemplating a lot more, weighing options (even if Yamato still told him he was reckless, but we know Yamato is an unreliable narrator due to being influenced by his own dark cave arc at this point).

In sum, you may not expect the sporty leader stereotype to go into politics, but his personality structure actually made him want to look for options that were suitable for the most amount of people involved at some point! And the relationship between the real and digital world became more and more important to him as well!

The only thing they struggled with was finding a good transition, because they spent SO MUCH TIME on Taichi not knowing where he wanted to go (which is VERY relatable of course!!!). Personally, I like to believe they just wanted to make Taichi's story more complicated, because the focus HAD to be on him due to main character syndrome. He was so put together in 02 already and then hormones and depression and abandonment issues hit him... Him wanting to go back in time, because everything seemed simpler (even though his brain was pretty much lying to him there, because nope, that wasn't simple, that was at least 8 near-death-experiences in a row, you are traumatized, my friend), because he felt like he was more courageous back then. When, in reality, life DID become more complex, yes, but like Agumon said in the stageplay: There are simply more things he learned he wanted to protect.

#my two cents #taichi yagami #tai kamiya #digimon #digimon adventure #man i love this boy so much and making sense of his arc is a lot of fun #as frustrating as it can be at times it's actually more consistent than you think #meta

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birchatthecrossroads · 6 months ago

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Lessons from a fish.

9 July 2024

I was once on a road trip with a family I nannied for. The heat wave was record breaking (at the time), there were two little kids in the car, and the drive was long. Everyone was overheated, exhausted, & miserable.

On a whim, we happened to be driving by a pond with a beach. There were no other people around & it looked nice, so we decided to stop and cool off for a bit.

I had just spent two weeks dealing with especially mischievous faeries, communing with fire spirits, and getting actively not murdered by a cult. I needed some alone time. I separated from the group, found a tree-shaded spot, & crouch-waded in the water up to my shoulders. It was really nice.

There were fish all around too. I asked one

"Master Fish, what is it like to be a fish?"

The fish replied "To find out, first move your fins like this"

I start to imitate the movement with my arms

"No no!" the fish said "not your arms, your fins!"

I said "I... I don't have fins."

"Therein" said the fish "Is the lesson; so long as you maintain this physical form, you cannot possibly comprehend what it is to be a fish."

That is a lesson I took with me.

Jump to today, I was pondering a thing.

Good choices come from wisdom, wisdom comes from learning from life experience. The life experience need not be yours. Learning from the experiences of others can provide valuable insights and guidance.

I was wondering if we could truly learn from simple observation of others.

Observing others can offer valuable lessons and perspectives that may shape our own understanding of the world. However, can we truly observe why someone succeeds or fails at something without truly knowing the person?

Observing someone's success or failure might give us clues, but without understanding their mindset, values, and intentions, it's hard to grasp the full picture. It seems that for the same reasons we shouldn't make flash judgments of others, we should also be cautious about learning from their failures. Just as fleeting impressions can mislead us, jumping to conclusions about someone's failures can lead to oversimplification.

Mistakes are lessons paid for in pain. Perhaps it is always necessary to pay part of that fee ourselves if we are to benefit from the knowledge. Painful as they may be, mistakes can indeed be powerful teachers. Experiencing the consequences firsthand often drives home the lesson in a way that mere observation cannot.

When things don't make sense, that means there's something you don't know. So, If at first you don't succeed, find out why. Understanding the "why" behind our struggles can often illuminate the path to success. Keep seeking knowledge and insights to unravel the mysteries that lie ahead.

Now that I think about it, I'm not sure there even is a universally agreed upon definition of success or failure. The subjective nature of success and failure can make it challenging to define. Maybe we should focus on understanding what drives each individual's perception of achievement and setback.

You are the acts you perform. This is influenced by perception as much as intention. Our actions shape our identity, and how they are perceived by others can influence how we see ourselves. Perception and intention play significant roles in defining who we are.

Self perception, as well as how others see us often mix to create our self image going forward, further influencing our actions in a subtle complex recipe. The interplay between self-perception and external perspectives can create a complex tapestry that shapes our self-image and influences our future actions. It's a fascinating dance of internal and external forces making it dubious at best to truly learn from the mistakes of others.

The intricate web of personal experiences, perceptions, and intentions makes it challenging to fully grasp the lessons from others' mistakes. Each individual's journey is unique, and understanding the nuances requires a deep dive into their personal story.

But the trouble there is the lesson I learned from a fish. As long as you are you, you cannot truly comprehend what it is to be them.

#mistakes #identity #lessons #fish

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shroomsshroom · 10 months ago

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whitefluffybearcub · 11 months ago

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1/1/2024

— everything is fate, karma, and destiny. Do your best. Be patient. Let the rest be.

— pity the living, above all, Pity those without love.

— to raise your vibration is a lesson itself. Once your energy rises, you would see that all of the ego and human emotions are not necessary anymore. You are not triggered nor reactive. You just go along with the simulation, to observe and learn still.

— how you perceive within this destined simulation is also a way to be free in mind and spirit, though the simulation would still go on as designated.

— healing means to be able to come into a circumstance and be able to sit with it, Contemplating how to take a better care or finding a peaceful solution.

— it isn’t what is impossible, it is how narrow minded human thinking are conditioned to be. In a simulation, like a video game, what isn’t possible?

But within the simulation, characters try to influence other characters to think a certain way, not necessarily for a good intent, so there is good and bad in everything.

There would always be a balance within the simulation. Good and bad.

1/2/2024

— you are whatever you perceive yourself to be. Victim, villain, or hero and more. Each to their own game.

But ultimately I hope you would learn that you are much more than just characters you play in this simulation called earth, you are eternal energy from the source, equal as the source, love.

— attachments keep one In the loop, whatever form it may be.

— karma is a vibration, a game, also a perception.

— they do not know that they have been programmed.

As one raises their vibration, they would know more and more, the knowledge of it all.

— how one perceives what something ought to be, it indeed would be for them until they change their perceptions. And this is usually planned in their designated destiny already.

How would you like to play a game, for how long in this illusion my dear.

— karma is vibration, allows one to connect with and attract the alike. Karma is also what one makes of it. Karma is also an illusion.

1/3/2024

— be mindful that human attachment comes in all forms, love, lust, hatred, jealousy, revenge, even beauty, and much more.

See mindfully. Don’t react.

— you can either see it from up high and afar or you can always delve deeply into the stories. Be mindful the latter would always be heavy with human emotions and thoughts.

— traps, deceits, and distractions that are disguised as trending news or hot trends, what is it this week kids? ;) play nice everybody.

Aw human worlds.

— every human is attached to something: sex, money, power, love, hatred, revenge, gossip, jealousy, lies, manipulation, drama, material name brands, drugs, beauty, recognition ,ego and else. These attachments eventually become traps. The trapped could do nothing but to run in a loop, until one day they decide to be free.

What is your game In this grand buffet ?

1/4/2024

— deeply attached with illusions in this designated simulation, yet it is all part of the experience human calls fate, destiny, and karma.

Everything and everyone has its time with it but even time is an illusion.

Love is behind all of it, so I choose to believe.

Thank you.

— human arena. Mercy reduced to promote an agenda. One also exposes themselves that they are not compassionate, That they might have chosen fear over truth.

If compassion is only conditional in the human world, then it is not genuine.

people around you only love you because you have money, when money is gone love is gone as well., Then that isn’t true love.

— in your story, when you have sold your soul, even long ago, it would still come collect one of these nights, when you expect it, when you not expect it. Just a matter of the prison sentences.

1/5/2024

— just thoughts alone, can make one happy, kind, grateful, angry, hateful, deceitful, jealous and else. Perception shape a person’s life by connecting them accordingly to their vibrations. The human life simulation would send circumstances and encounters but they do not control your perception, you do. You can be optimistic or sad in the same concrete classroom, watching a same movie.

You would have to understand this to elevate, and only if you are meant to understand. If not, one would just run in a maze, going in circles, attracting the same people and circumstances, such vibration is also called karma. Most people are in this maze. They do not realize they are much more than just the characters they play on earth.

— each religion is a human program. They want you to worship a higher power. This created a perception that you are, as a human, Inferior. You would respect, you would be grateful but know that you are never less than anything or anyone else.

The program is created to control humans but whether one believes it or not, it is also designated in their destiny.

— really, it is just energy dressing up in all things possible in the human realms, playing and humbling each other.

1/7/2024

— as humans, we are one. You are everyone, you are everything, you are also part of the source.

— karma is a vibration. Most humans are tuned into this karmic vibration. And so the human stories begin.

— your perception of this reality determines your vibration and frequency. Each vibrational level offers different level of humanly knowledge.

Your perception is the key whether you are stuck with attachments or be free.

— 1/8/2024

— everyone, the human narrative needs you to do your magic, whether you are a princess, or a evil queen, and such. You are all essential In the story line. For instances, There has to be a poisoned apple so a kiss can happen leading to a happily ever after. There has to be corruption, deceit, and war so that the conscience can be awaken.

Wave that wand, do your best, do your worst. All meant to be anyway. You are all on track with fate, destiny, and your karma ; o )

— a human’s perceptional programing is their story, their culture, religions, ego, love, karma, and sometimes traps. All of it has to do with perception if one is in the lower energy realm.

Once you are in a low vibrational energy space, you won’t remember a lot of things. It has been designated that way. Earth is a such place.

— 1/10/2024

— who you chose to experience, know that it is all already written in the program that human comes to know as destiny.

The programs are similar because they operate by different level frequency and vibration, making these characters quite predictable. One who is conscious and not blinded by the superficial, would truly see and understand, but also only if they are meant to be, meaning they themselves would have to operate at a higher vibration to see through the veils.

— the stars that shine as bright as the sun, all according to the mouths of the evil, please know that there is also a equivalent of the true darkness behind these said stars.

1/11/24

— when you know the truth, all manipulations become invisible and absolutely meaningless. Have a chuckle or two at the theater they put on.

— all is well. A done deal.

— devil is In the details, always.

1/12/2024

— fate says evil has to appear so there is a catalyst for strength of the good. It is a program. It has to run this way.

— they, who have sold their soul to be on that billboard of the hill, would be trapped in fear, deceit, ego, and depression. And they would later find out they have been lied to. Wealth, not truly theirs at the end. Reputation, at the mercy of their higher ups,

It is their program.

— in the world of evil, the new evil would have to kill the old evil so one can replace. They also fear each other.

They serve as each other’s karma in some circumstances. It is their program.

— in the programs of evil, whether willing, coerced, or born into it, they would always be at the mercy of the devil except it does not have mercy. They are usually in for life even if they change their minds.

— be reminded, fear is created and orchestrated for control, the devil is always in the details.

— your urge to be right in front of others, most likely ego related, you would definitely suffer from it in mind and body.

Ego is such a low vibration. It is easy to predict what it attracts in terms of its same level energy. For instance, ego attracts another ego.

— if you are attached to ego you would definitely suffer from it but you do not need ego in this Illusion of a simulation. Let everyone else figure it out for themselves.

1/13/2024

— all idea and knowledge are infused into this simulation by a higher vibrational energy. It is within the simulation because it has been designated to.

Humans do not discover anything or ideas they are not supposed to. Everything is fed and happens in order within the program, even ones that seem like disorders. And remember you are not just the character you are playing in this program. You are also the source, the higher vibrational energy, eternity and everything.

— for the ones who have done the unethical and the unspeakable, you would learn that karma is a bitch.

1/14/2024

— each program of life is different. If it is meant, life would find a way to show you that there is much more than this life which merely is just a program in a simulation.

There is energy of unseen, untouched, unknown. You are also part of it.

1/15/2024

— if the great awakening in this reality is inevitable, then there must be catalyst for it to happen. Everything has been written in the program.

— when you tell the truth, and yet the ones who are supposedly your protectors do not give you the attention you deserve and instead try to shame & bury your words. That itself is going to wake up minds by showing the truth of anyone that is supposedly to be anything else.

By doing that further, it is going to wake up more spirits and minds. I see it now.

— be grateful for this, when people show themselves for who they really are in this world, you wouldn’t have false perception /hopes anymore and that could also be a catalyst for you to make better choice and ultimately improve your experience.

The catalysts are sometimes In the forms of bad guy characters, they are needed in this narrative, do not forget. All is an illusion anyway.

— if it is not genuine, it would eventually expose itself. The deceit is an energy that seeks to rebalance itself.

— people who are lied to. They would be so angry. The anger becomes the catalyst for the new found strength to correct and for healing.

A story that is playing out in a program simulation.

— in the simulation, time has to proceed in a linear fashion. One chapter ushers into the next one. It is how the program runs.

— arguments of ego in a simulation of illusion, if you know you are in just that, would you attach or detach. The same concept goes for all low energy emotions.

1/16/2024

— this is part of the program, where things and people are shown for what they actually are, and what they are intended to do. It is made this way so that there is a great awakening. A chapter In the program. You realize that all along, everything and everyone has been doing what they are supposed to have done, thus leading to the great awakening of the mass. Everything has been designated.

1/17/2024

— the ones who are aware they are in a simulation, would notice how simulation work on a daily basis with reminders.

1/19/2024

— in the programs of humans, if someone else is able to make you believe you are not enough, that you are inferior naturally. I am afraid you have already lost (yourself) and they have won.

— all is just a part of the program for just a moment, dear consciousness, the highest love.

— the program is an illusion, expression and experience . What matters in the program, ultimately do not matter.

1/20/2024

— when you chase after something or someone that does not make you genuinely happy, that should be your biggest lesson in life but only when you realize it.

— if it didn’t get you, you would see that the masses are in a trance and on a hysterical trip in this time.

— in the programs of humans, the biggest names and organizations are really only about exploitations, for money, power and control, at the expense of the masses.

— everything in the human program has been preset, they call it destiny. Everything plays out the way it is supposed to in its vibration.

Let it be. Do your best but be calm and mindful. Let go.

— while playing house on earth, please know that you are much more than just a number, a race, a face, a brand, and else. You are much much more and just as powerful as the most powerful energy of love.

— in the lower vibrational realm like the human world, both good and evil judge each other within the same frequency length. These judgements serve a purpose in the human programs.

1/21/2024

— the construct of the human programs are somewhat predictable, they have to tune into a certain level of vibration to play a certain characters in the human life. What they are, do and attract are all vibrations related.

— in the program of pretend, coercion, the threatened, the abused, then the abuser, they may be promised fame, power, and wealth but none of it is enjoyable for them at their vibrations. Their programs. What a program.

At a certain low vibrational frequency, happiness can not be.

— once a circus, always a circus. One ringleader gone, another already in line.

All the titles and awards are meaningless.

The light and shadow along with smoke and mirror create the illusions.

Everyone is in masks, pretending and playing characters.

The chases are really in a loop, going no where.

Have fun anyway because these performances are amusing. You learn a thing or two in this fun land ; )

— in each human life, there would always be sadness with no exception, otherwise there would be no human world. I sincerely hope there is also healing in your journey. Hurt becomes strength. Sadness becomes healing that further leads to love and happiness.

1/22/24

— when you are allowed to understand that all of this human world is an illusion then you would begin to understand that ego is not necessary. It is a catalyst for all happenings in this simulated narrative but only when it serves a purpose to fulfill the fate’s script and karma.

Ego would always be a part of the human expressions but when it does not serve you anymore you can let go. You are not denying the human expression. you operate at a different level.

— the ruthless, the greed, the corrupt, the ego, the evil and such, would always be humbled by fate and karma. After all, it is all about the balance of energy in this simulation.

— humans play the meticulous games. From pain and insecurity to ego and abuse. A vicious cycle forms and some choose to run this loop repeatedly. A program seen in this reality in a infinite way.

— each being on earth is an expression. Expressions intertwine and influence each other. The earth itself is also an expression which houses all of the expressions of beings.

The word “expression” is interchangeable to the word “program” in the concept.

— the karmic program, the abused couldn’t heal then becomes the abuser. And the loop starts all over again. It takes healing for it to get out of this loop.

— each perception of anything physical, with shape and forms, tells you that you are in an illusion of energy, no matter which level of vibrational frequency or realm.

Let there be light, May be the first of first in the realm of illusions.

— you better believe that, no matter who they play on the main stage, they are all just going along with a script. Otherwise they would have already be thrown off the main stage.

Each chess move, even in opposition, is orchestrated by the same hand, when all eyes are watching.

Don’t be surprised that the characters you like turn out to be just delivering an act.

— the mindful always sees when something isn’t genuine. They read between the lines where the devil lives.

— thank you for you and being here. I wish you love always.

— the universe would keep sending you reminders that much of what is on the main platform is just facade. A facade of happiness is quite the opposite of genuine happiness. As if how happy they portray themselves to be for all to see is a direct reflection of how dark their inner depression and demons are.

— I believe karma is in your program. May it be one of your greatest and most heartfelt teachers.

— the energy of wickedness would eventually show up, especially on the facade, giving out its obvious vibration.

— in this world, the ones who try to control and manipulate you, care more about your reactions than anything else.

— what makes you depressed and unhappy, could be that you have become someone others want you to be, not who you truly want to be.

You are trapped in a mask and could never breath freely.

— the evil agenda that you help and contribute would someday come back to harm you and your loved ones. Karma always comes to teach in this program.

—Karma: the fires you set out to burn others, come back to burn all you have as well. And if you chuckle at others while they burn, they have a karmic responsibility to laugh at you when you burn.

You are to feel what it is like to truly and genuinely be In the essence of karma.

All is pre-destined already anyway.

— the ones who sold their souls and sacrifice others for the devil, eventually also become a sacrifice for the devil when it sees fit. Karma comes full circle.

1/23/2024

— ego and vanity are a sure way to be depressed.

— try to see each being as an expression without judgements. They are meant to be who they are. All in the stars and destiny.

— observation: there is such human program where one does not answer to themselves but to the ones who control them. They lose all essence of their true self and morph into a true slave.

— to harboring a lie that weighs on your conscience. You are never truly alone. You are forced to live with a unwelcome guest.

— toxic people would attract toxic people because they operate at the same wavelength of vibration. If fated, they would make a fiery clash with one another.

But it also has to do with karma when seemingly good people encounter bad ones, all in the program.

— most awards are really just politics of its kind. Most of the politics are corrupt at heart. Just a program of pretends and egos.

1/24/2024

— you are in the program of karma. Learn a thing or two.

— all of the people at high places are all compromised and corrupt somehow. They answer to, not themselves but whatever that controls, blackmails, and threaten them.

In this reality, it is just how these programs run.

— everything that is put out on the main arena stage is trying to get an reaction out of you. How you react shows them how you perceive something or someone. If they control your perception, they control you but it is also meant to be this way by fate. Ones who see it would see. The blinded would keep being a cattle. Also all meant to be.

It is an experiment and an operation of the psychological minds. It is how the program works.

— the figures of the famed are all corrupt and compromised. Some of them are made into idols and leaders on the main stage, but as a mockery In the shadow.

In this movie, the devil loves to mock and if you read between the lines, you would see that the devil is everywhere In the details.

— this reality, what you react and give your power to lives but whatever you don’t react to would just vanish quietly.

— love, hate, kindness, evil, jealousy, ego, no matter what it is. Each is its own expression and is infused into this designated reality to experience. Some of the expressions can only be created and experienced in this realm. The whole system of Illusion and simulation has its purpose. No one can understand it all while being in it, just bits and pieces.

It just is. Everything and everyone just is. There is no good or bad from the perspective of the source, which all of everyone and everything is also connected to it.

All would be known once the energy elevates. Just a game really.

1/25/2024

— perhaps most of the main stage speakers, all have been blackmailed into saying and doing what their controller want them to, for the purpose to be hated on with passion.

Emotions are a powerful thing. They love to play with your emotions. They want you to react with hatred and without rationality.

1/26/2024

— the soul allows all who are on earth to be who they are because each is a designated expression in this realm. The soul does not judge but it seeks to fulfill the balance of energy humans call karma. It seeks to experience all that there is even in the most despicable ways in humans’ eyes.

It really is just like a game but with heartfelt and heavy emotions. The players themselves won’t even know they are in a simulated game.

— a human is conditioned to be who and how they are because it is their program. They are a supposed expression in this realm.

Good and evil and all in between, the variety fun pack. Judgments of evil and the compliment of the good, and all gossip in between, all of this is really just for the human world strictly.

1/27/2024

— there are things in this human world in which one can’t explain how. Some call it paranormal or metaphysical but it is merely your soul telling you there is more than this one human life you are experiencing, more than the five senses. You are much more and just as powerful. It is the low vibrational filters that sort of dumb you down but it is by design until you are ready. You are unlimited and eternal, just like the source of energy.

— the villains in this human realm, energetically, is really just bottled up and suppressed pain for a really long time.

If anything, they need love and mercy to be good again and to elevate.

To want to average what wrong has done to you in the same manner vice versa, you are dragging yourself down energetically as well.

— when you are too fixated on one thing, you are stuck in a piece of the puzzle. Sometimes you have to let go in order to see the bigger picture.

1/28/2024

— please know that morals are infused into each human. It is only natural to feel angry or scared. It is part of the program. It is just a scene of a movie. Don’t fixate on it for too long. Let it go as soon as possible.

It is just part of the program in this simulation. All is an illusion.

— karma is an energy equalizer. It sometimes works in private. You wouldn’t see the ghost that visits the killer each night, only for the killer and their conscience.

— the meaning of human life, perhaps is to experience all of the highs and lows, and they will. Without the contrast, there would not need to have a human world.

After all, it is a simulated program that energy goes through to experience. Everything has been designated. You would not see a human life with only highs or only lows.

— if you knew how it would end, the process would at times become pointless or all you think about the end. It is designed that you do not know. The soul is all about the journey.

—social media and online activities, all of it can be addiction, depression, and poison. And they are all marketed toward the mass. Some would be ruined by it. Some would learn and heal from it.

It is that program.

1/28/2024

— the great awakening is inevitable. It needed the catalyst to wake up the minds. All is by design with fate.

— the disorder has always been In order, so that it can serve as a catalyst for the great awakening.

1/29/2024

— humans who spread deceits would create victims, and they eventually also become a victim of themselves. They are in a program of karma.

— after each low, some become kinder, and some bitter. It also determines their path a happy one or a depressing one.

— your kindness will lead you to happiness.

1/30/2024

— they do understand. They don’t understand. It all plays into that individual’s destiny and evolution in regards of karma.

1/31/2024

— please know that you are still love even in low places. It is the illusions that make you perceive differently.

— May what you choose to do, be your teacher, or your best friend.

— emotions are an enforcer in the human reality. Everyone and everything needs a motivation and a catalyst, to fulfill what they are here to do, good or bad.

— always beware of those who try to distill fear in you. Anyone who does that has abusive husband syndrome. And if you don’t stand up for yourself and break up, deep down you know how a marriage would turn out with an abusive and egotistical person.

That is just a metaphor.

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dear-derek · 1 year ago

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2023-06-28

Derek,

I think one of the biggest issues I struggle with is a lack of self accountability.

If I eat a shit-ton of cake, it's because it was right in front of me, and I was feeling bad, and I was brought up with food as my coping mechanism. It was a human moment, I couldn't resist. If I lose a friend, it's because they didn't like me, they ended things. How could it be my fault, when I never actually make any active decisions in relationships? If my life is barelling downhill faster than the speed of light, it's because the universe had it out for me. I was doomed from the start; I have the burden of knowing my own fate.

It feels so much better to be powerless and oppressed, to be allowed to pity oneself and wallow in disgrace like side characters in novels, than to accept the fact that you just fucked up.

I'm a determinist. It's something I love saying because it makes me sound interesting, but I wish it weren't true. To me, it's not something that can or has to be found from experimentation, it's a priori truth: the same way we know 2 + 2 = 4 because that's just how it works. We are experience machines; we indulge in the sensory information around and and internalize them. Instincts were built this way, too, making every aspect of our being fundamentally external and dependant on our environment.

Our own rationalism is further proof of determinism: we do, think, or say something based on what we've come to know, our little thinking minds subconsciously determine the best course of action based on genetics and environmental conditioning Those conclusions appear to the conscious self as desires, maybe impulsiveness, maybe a proper decision. They're still ultimately influenced by what we percieve, not some greater truth we think we've discovered.

Still, I think being a determinist is stupid. Not only does it take all the fun out of life, but it also sets into motion a negative conclusion, because it's based on the principle of innate passivity. Determinism also doesn't take away from the fact that I still experience life. As predetermined as I am, I'm not unthinking. As a determinist, there's nothing I can do to change the fact that I believe what I believe. As a person, with thoughts and feelings that are all completely biased and meaningless but still there nonetheless, I don't want to believe that my life isn't my own.

Still, if something in the world led me to stumble on this piece of knowledge, I don't know if I can reject it. How can you trick yourself into believing in magic when you saw the slit in the magician's rings? How can you believe in santa claus, after noticing your uncle's ring on his finger? I want to suspend my disbelief, but whenever I get close to doing so it occurs to me that that's the fault of my environments, and not a conscious decision. I then cling tighter and tighter to determinism, finding some stubborn solace in the fact that I'm not free, but at least I'm self aware.

But I'm not. People are arrogant, and they're self involved and irrational, and flawed. Logic itself is illogical when processed through their minds, and there's plenty of case studies to prove it. We all think we know the answer; We all think that we're the one to have miraculously solved philosophy. But we're all kind of stupid.

Who am I to decide that this is how the universe is ran? Who am I to accept my flawed perceptions as reality? If determinism states that I am the product of my environment, if it says that my truths are influenced on my subjective experiences, it's impossible for me, or anyone, to objectively understand or concieve of determinism. By its own rules, determinism is an impossible concept.

Why not, then. Why not believe in some sort of agency. A little part of me will always say that this denial is just some kind of coping mechanism, but determinism has filled that role, too. Why not replace it with something that will actually let me live with myself? Reality should not be ignored for the sake of personal comfort, but reality is so malleable and subjective that believing in it inadvertently rejects a big part of it we just can't see.

If I have to be blind, I want to be happy, too. So I'm going to go against my nature and dilute myself in the fantasy that I'm in control. It's probably wrong, but I've got nothing to lose if it is.

talk to you later,

#determinism #free will #reality #metaphysics #epistemology #knowledge #belief #a new hope #DearDerek #philosophy #tumblog #letters

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aro-comics · 2 years ago

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Growth (Part 1)

Growth, 1/3 – And … oh my gosh. I can’t believe it took THIS LONG to finish this comic ;A; I feel like I say this every time, but y’all – I STARTED PANELLING THIS ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR AGO. Really. It’s been sitting on my plate for too long, and I’m so glad I can finally share it!

Where do I even begin with my thoughts? For starters, I wanted to say the examples chosen in slide 8 are mainly from larger pieces of media, because they have greater influence on our *general social consciousness*. I don’t necessarily recommend or approve of the source material! I also have more thoughts on these characters, and about amatonormativity in relation to character growth in general, but for the sake of keeping this caption short(er) I will do so on my stories and pin them to my profile for future reference 😂

AUTHOR'S NOTE: For the sake of accessibility (and my own health) I will be making a transcript of the stories in its simplest form, posted here.

If you have any examples you can think of too, please let me know either in the comments or via DM 🐸🐸

I wish I was joking about the events which inspired this comic, but this LITERALLY happened to me, and this wasn’t the only time I experienced some form of amatonormativity or direct arophobia growing up. You may not think things like this are a problem, but this idea of romantic relationships as a crucial part of emotional growth has real world implications. Aros get told that their orientation IS the root of all their problems, or IS THE PROBLEM ITSELF, a lot. And not only is this wrong (and queerphobic), it also causes people to overlook the real issues that we may be struggling with. This can prevent us from getting help we NEED, not to mention the fact that orientation isn’t something that needs to be fixed.

In my personal experience … I don’t want to get into the specifics of the situation described here (Because it genuinely was one of the worst times of my life, and I don’t like thinking about it) – but basically, the help I needed was definitely NOT to get a romantic partner. A lot of my behaviours were very clearly ones that indicated I should have been hospitalized, or at least sent to a highly trained medical professional for intervention. But I never received any care, even though my parents were to some degree aware of what the issue was … and it somewhat appalls me that this family friend would take one look at me and somehow decide the issue was anything less than a serious, medical situation.

I want to emphasize I know none of them did it on purpose, and to be fair, it wasn’t entirely clear what the specific issue was (to the family friend at least). But it does hurt to have so clearly shown signs of crisis, to have done a near 180 in personality and behaviour, and to have it brushed off or implied that this is caused by something fundamental to your orientation. It makes me feel so inherently wrong, and if I’m going to be even more brutally honest I think the amatonormative way I was raised is a big part of the reason why I still struggle with my self esteem as an aro today. Even now, I still get told that maybe my remaining problems and personal struggles will go away if I was willing to give dating a try.

It just makes me so tired.

But, the more I reflect on my orientation and am able to connect with aros and the community as a whole, it has been helping. I don’t think it will go away any time soon, but at least when the feeling (that my orientation is something that’s fundamentally wrong with me) comes up I can tell myself that it just isn’t true. That I know that being aro isn’t a curse, isn’t a flaw, isn’t something that should haunt me for the rest of my life, that it’s something natural and beautiful and that I adore about my community. And I should extend that same care to myself, too. It has been getting easier.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. Do you feel that others perception of your maturity and growth as a human being is influenced by amatonormativity?

Image Descriptions

Title Card: Cover Image. This Comic series is titled “Growth”. Celia, an east asian girl with wavy chin length hair, is illustrated wearing a cream crop top and yellow pants sitting amongst leaves and yellow flowers on a rocky surface. A watering can sits in the background.

Slide 1: Celia is seen standing from the side, with her arms crossed. She frowns. “When I was going through one of the worst times of my life, a family friend went out of his way to tell my parents that he noticed how unconfident I seemed.”

Slide 2: Scene turns to a memory, depicted as a sketch. The family friend is shown talking to Celia’s parents. “He told them not to worry though, because there was an easy solution. I just needed to find the right person, and start dating them.”

Slide 3: A speech bubble from the family friend illustrates this analogy. On the left is a flower pot with no plant, and a sad face above it. On the right is a blooming flower with hearts around it.

Celia’s note: I wish I was making this up. Blossom was LITERALLY the analogy used here

Slide 4: Back to Celia, who is speaking to the reader now: “It really, really hurt. I knew the reason why I wasn’t the best version of myself wasn’t because I hadn’t found love.”

Slide 5: She stares down at a yellow flower as she continues, “But unfortunately, I think thoughts, and unwarranted comments like these, stem from a deeper amatonormative view of the subject of growth”

Slide 6: “Countless stories which show the hero’s growth as pinned to their romantic arc.” Illustrated beneath is a stereotypical hero kneeling on the ground in front of his love interest. He holds a yellow flower as he says “I couldn’t have become the person I am today without you, your love showed me what’s worth trying for”.

Slide 7: “And on the more toxic side of things, those without romantic love or those who reject it end up as decrepit, cold, emotionally stunted, or sad.”

A few characters from popular, influential, or otherwise notable television shows are depicted here: Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmations, Queen Chrysalis from My Little Pony (Generation 4), Dr. Berkowitz from One Day at a Time, Alan Harper from Two and a Half Men, and Rajesh Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory. A note indicates to the reader to check the description.

As a disclaimer: The inclusion of these characters do not indicate the author’s recommendation or approval of the original source material – they are only meant to serve as examples of the point to be made.

Slide 8: Scene switches to Celia now watering a collection of ferns, mugworts, and other leafy plants in a greenhouse. She says “As an aro person, it’s tiring to hear the more toxic side of this narrative again and again. It feels like we’re being told we won’t grow, like others can.”

#regularcomic #GrowthComic

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pearl-tarotist · 3 years ago

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ASTROLOGY INTUITIVE PLACEMENTS OR KNOW YOUR READER (through her natal chart)

Some of you may be a bit skeptical about who you read the tarot spreads from or about the talent/intuition of the reader. Let me show you my "intuitive/spiritual placement" from my natal chart. It will be long.

Have in mind, this is something fun and done to know more about each other; at the end of the day you are the one with the power to decide to believe in it or not.

Summary: in my limited knowledge about astrology, some of the most intuitive signs are the water ones (cancer, scorpio and pisces) and the water houses (4th, 8th and 12th). (The information is not mine, extracted from:) Information and astro-seek. (Feel free to correct me if something is wrong). There was also a lot of help from the marvelous: @sparklystarlightxo .

PLACEMENTS:

1.-Cancer sun and rising: strong gut feeling: able to just know things. Cancer is ruled by the moon; this "planet" shows a strong inuition and a more femenine take.

2.-Moon in the 8th House: enhancement of occult influence;very sensitive to the energies of others, and you can easily receive information from your higher self.

3.-MC (Medium Coeli) in Piscis (10th house): People with Pisces on the tenth house cusp often follow a career in church, medicine, theatre or other areas associated with spirituality and esoterism.

4.-The ruler of the 10th House (Neptune) in the 8th House (I'm not sure what that exactly means).: Work of these people often involves secrets, extreme conditions or risk-taking (for example, esotericism.).

5.-Neptune in the 8th House: Neptune rules over dreams, spirituality... and in my case stays in the 8th house.

6.-Uranus in the 9th House in Aquarius (its ruling Planet): Uranus in the ninth house suggests confusion and changes in the area of higher thought, law, religion, philosophy and travel. It suggests that these people have progressive and broadminded attitude towards life. They are intuitive and idealistic.

7.-Stellium 12th house: (yes, it is hard). The planets in the 12th house are Jupiter, Saturn, Mercury... Jupiter in the 12th house indicates a strong liking to astrology.

"The twelfth house is traditionally connected with Pisces. Pisces is the most mystical and otherworldly sign in the Zodiac. People who have this sign strong in their birth charts are extremely sensitive and have a very strong intuition".

-Mercury in the twelfth house represents the subconscious mind. Thinking of these people is influenced by their subconscious and past experiences.

8.-North Node in 12th house and in Cancer: These people need to open up to their spirituality and imagination. They need to escape the constraints of the usual and explainable and be open to the unusual and unexplainable. They need to go beyond the rational and analytical, develop imaginative powers and spiritual awareness.

9.- The mix of mercurial and piscis energy (12th house stellium) makes easier spiritual downloads from the universe.

ASPECTS:

10.-Moon conjuction Neptune: This conjunction also gives people a combination of perceptiveness and sensitivity, and the ability to accept the world of higher vibrations.

11.- Venus Trine Neptune: This harmonious aspect gives people a sense for romance, compassion, and intuition in relationships.

12.-Node Parallel Sun (0°50’): This conjunction greatly increases the importance of the sign and the house in which it appears. (1st house sun and 12th house node). The capabilities, potentials and tasks that are related to it can be responsible for a significant boom.

THIS WAS LONG; I hope you understand a bit more of myself and trust in me a bit more even when Tarot and Astrology are nerver 100% correct. I'm always trying my best.

#astrology #astrology community #astrology facts #tarot #intuitive placements #intuition #tarot reader #12th century #cancer #piscis #scorpio #8th house #moon #neptune #jupiter #node #north node #spirituality

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furiousgoldfish · 4 years ago

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Tactics of narcissistic abuse

Love Bombing & Mirroring are tactics to gain your favour. These will come from a narcissist you’re just getting to know and they’re trying to convince you they’re your perfect partner, soulmate, best friend, ideal lover. Love bombing is showering you with over-the-top affection and support, they’re likely to see what works best on you, then give you just that. They’ll convince you that you’re special and make you feel special, whether it’s with attention, gifts, promises, love phrases, or making you look and feel very good in front of other people. If they can spin this as fate or destiny, they will. You have one lucky coincidence? It’s destiny that you met. They’ll create the image of ‘it’s us against the world’ and convince you that they’re all you need to never be alone, unappreciated or unhappy again. They will say phrases like 'We were born to be together’ or 'You’re the only one who understands’ and make you feel like you’re in a romance film. Mirroring is the way to convince you that they are just like you, your perfect match. They do this by pretending they want the same things as you. All of your opinions will be shared, your desires will be their desires too, however you want to live, that’s now their ideal life too. If you want children, so do they, if you want to live in a cottage, so do they.

These will be repeated until you feel like you finally got something perfect from life, you commit to them and trust them completely. You will become lenient with your boundaries and disregard minor red flags, because hey, you finally found love, or someone like yourself who makes your life better. These are crucial to keep you around for a long time; the illusion of happiness and perfect companionship you always wanted will keep you holding onto them in hope that things could once again, be this perfect for you. You will not want to let go of them even after the love bombing and mirroring is long gone. Love bombing and mirroring are not indicative of how they’re planning to treat you once you’re committed to them; as soon as they feel you are ready to fight for a life with them, roles will change and you will have to endure escalating abuse from this person, endlessly.

Scapegoats and people badly damaged by trauma will often not get the full love bombing or mirroring, narcissists will be able to win our devotion by acts of basic decency, small thoughtfulness and acting tolerant of our trauma symptoms, this will feel like everything to us, and once we decide this is a good, special person who makes us feel safe and we’d do anything for them, they’ll turn and exploit us endlessly.

Only way to spot this on time is: there will be a little voice of suspicion in your head going ’Isn’t this actually a little too perfect to be real? A little too convenient and ideal?’ and you will not want to listen to that voice. You should listen to it. It’s your instinct, trying to tell you something is off. I won’t blame you if you don’t. Most people won’t just walk away from their ideal partner because things seem 'too perfect’. But, get suspicious at least. Alert to red flags.

Enablers and Flying Monkeys

Narcissists can’t abuse if they’re on their own; they will work hard to build a reputation and charm people who they can later use for purposes of enabling, triangulating, controlling, scapegoating and smear campaigns. Enablers, or Flying Monkeys, are people who are either admiring the narcissists, want to be in narcissists good favour, are trauma bond and scared of the narcissists, are emotionally manipulated or simply too cowardly to point out that the narcissists is wrong and cruel. Most people will fall under the influence and want to be on narcissists side because it’s easier, tempting, feels safer, and doesn’t require much thinking. Narcissist will sometimes emotionally manipulate people to go do their dirty work; they will cry about how they miss their runaway children so flying monkeys would harass and judge children for running away, they will invent stories of abuse and insanity of their spouse so people would shame and judge the spouse who the narcissist is abusing. They create environment in which they can keep abusing and other people will jump to defend, justify, victim-blame and further confuse the victim. “They had a hard life”, “They’re your mother/father/uncle, you have to forgive them” or “He’s not that bad” are the phrases you’ll hear from enablers and flying monkeys. The term “Flying Monkey” is taken from the Wizard of Oz, because the Wicked Witch owned an army of brainless flying monkeys who would do her bidding – much how narcissists do with their enablers.

What enablers are doing is absolutely wrong. They should not be ready to defend abuse, or excuse and justify it, or believe and act on smear campaigns, not for any reason. They are hurting and isolating the victim, and regardless of how much they suck up to the narcissist, they will eventually become the targets too. Victims are right to cut out enablers just how they’re right to cut out abusers. You do not have to suffer for their cowardice or stupidity.

Triangulation is a form of abuse where narcissist brings another person into the relationship in order to bypass your boundary. For instance, you refuse to speak to the narcissist, so they send your family members, friends, or their friends, to talk to you about how much you’re hurting the narcissist and how cruel and unfair you’re being. Or, you’re trying to set a boundary in your marriage, and suddenly a friend or a relative comes talking to you about how unreasonable it is to set such awful boundary and to think of your spouse’s feelings and how bad they have it. Narcissist may try to use you for triangulation too, for example, they might tell you 'Go tell your sister she should do xyz and she’s making a mistake, she’ll listen to you’. It’s implied you agree with the narcissist, and that both of you are doing it for the sister’s good, when it’s more likely the narcissist is trying to force this person to do something they’re deeply set against and would only serve the narcissist. Narcissists will use their children to triangulate a marriage, they will often 'gang up’ other family members on their spouse, or one of the children. If you’re the victim, you’ll find yourself cornered, isolated, and in doubt whether you’re doing the right thing, trying to establish a boundary. Narcissists will also often show affection, compassion or even love to a third person simply to make you jealous and worried that something is wrong with you since you don’t get the same treatment. It’s what creates an illusion that the entire world is agreeing with the narcissist and no matter what you do, you look unreasonable for fighting them.

Narcissists will sometimes invent completely boogus scenarios and try to terrify people into doing their bidding and believing they’re right. As if the world will fall if narcissists don’t get what they want.

Society at large will often enable abusers; you can call out abuse and be rendered a 'killjoy’ because people prefer to enjoy cruelty together with the narcissist than to oppose them. Narcissists are capable of rousing a whole gang of people to turn against the victim and to aid in their abuse; this is scapegoating.

Gaslighting is a form of abuse where the abuser attacks your sense of reality. They will usually do this to obscure and deny acts of abuse. “I never said that” “That didn’t happen” “That’s not how I remember it” “You imagined it” or “You’re crazy, I would never do that!” are common gaslighting phrases abusers use for events that absolutely happened, and they absolutely remember. It’s even more powerful if they get other people to agree that you’re insane for remembering a past event of abuse. They can sometimes try to convince you that something didn’t occur while it’s still happening. This renders your intention of calling out abuse impossible; you’re now debating whether the event even happened and your sanity is questioned.

The point of this is to drive you into insanity; prolonged gaslighting will make you doubt your own memories and senses, and you will no longer be secure in your own point of view or version of reality. You will not be able to fight abuse, because you will get stuck on wondering if it’s even real, or if you’re making it up. Narcissist wants not only to abuse you, but to control your perception of it, reaction of it, and to disable you from telling anyone and being taken seriously. Smear campaign and gaslighting ensures that everyone thinks you’re lying to make problems, even you.

You can attempt to block gaslighting with phrases like 'That was not my experience’ 'I know the truth and I am not debating it with you’ ’ Don’t tell me what happened, I was there’ or ridiculing them for thinking it would work, but sometimes abuse will escalate if you refuse to play along, so be very careful with them.

Baiting, Projection and Scapegoating

Baiting is the way narcissist finds out which triggers will work on you. Types of baits are: Scaremongering, Accusations, False Claims, Guilt-tripping, Victim-playing, False Hope, or Intrigue. They will use these to elicit either fear&anxiety, or guilt&responsibility. You are likely to get pulled in and respond emotionally to these, and thus the narcissist will discover which one of these is most triggering and they can use it to either control you, or to affirm that they can still get you riled up, scared, guilty – they feed on being able to provoke these, it makes them feel powerful. They can later use the same trigger to push you into guilt and fear if you try to resist their control. If they continue doing this to you for a long time, you are likely to develop self-doubt and anxiety about your own persona. Way to counter this is to grey rock them.

Projection is a primitive defense-mechanism, where a person feels uncomfortable with their behaviour or thinking, so they accuse someone else of it to deflect the bad feelings from themselves. This can feel the same as baiting, but narcissists do it without realizing they’re giving you the information about what they’re actually feeling and doing. For instance, a narcissist will accuse you of being self-absorbed after they start feeling uncomfortable with how self-absorbed they are, they will start to call you selfish when it comes to their mind how selfish they are. They will accuse you of the exact shit they’ve been doing whether it’s lying, manipulating, faking for attention, cheating, exploiting, lacking compassion, stealing. These claims will feel like they’re coming out of nowhere at first, but eventually you will wonder if you’re really like that, and accept their projection on yourself, believing to really be as bad, or worse than they are. Even though they’ve done 100% of these things, while you have done none of it. This can also be countered by being aware what is going on and grey-rocking them. Deflecting the blame back to them will not work because they’ll either deflect it back, or throw a tantrum and insult you.

Scapegoating is the most vicious abuse narcissist can inflict on their victims and is designed to completely break a person’s spirit while creating power out of terror. Scapegoating doesn’t only serve to terrify and control the victim; it shows everyone what the narcissist is capable of, causing them to go very far to avoid becoming the next scapegoat. This creates enablers, flying monkeys and other benefits for narcissist to enjoy, while the scapegoat is isolated, not believed, and often shunned by the community to show loyalty to the narcissist.

Scapegoat will be blamed for every narcissists flaw, accused of provocation and creating trouble, shamed for their likes and interests, humiliated for their appearance or needs, their work will be rendered worthless and any pain and injury will be treated as if the scapegoat deserved it, or wanted it. Nothing is out of bounds to criticize or belittle in the scapegoat; flying monkeys will do it too, to either affirm themselves with the narcissist, or because they too crave power by stepping on someone defenseless. If a narcissistic parent decides to scapegoat a child, the other parent might stop caring for the child, and agree that the child deserves only to be neglected and shunned. The illusion narcissists create, of entire society agreeing that a person is irredeemable, deserving only of pain and ridicule, has turned people to suicide.

Scapegoat absorbs all of the narcissist’s malice, cruelty, sadism, baiting, projection, guilt and tantrums, so other people in the environment can get some relief and can use the scapegoat as their shield. You can be chosen to be a scapegoat for challenging the narcissist and standing up to them, for refusing to scapegoat someone else, for seeing thru them and showing any potential for undermining their authority, if narcissist is jealous of you, if narcissist feels threatened by your intellect, compassion and emotional depth they lack. And often, you’ll just be chosen because they’re in position of power and you’re unprotected. If you’re their child, a lonely classmate, employee with no high reputation or lots of friends, a minority, different in the way of sexuality or behaviour, anything that is easily used to sway a group of people against you. Narcissists will make sure to spread a smear campaign filled with lies against you, so that nobody would align with you, or believe you if you try to counter their word.

This type of treatment is beyond anything a human being could deserve, and devastating for the victim’s self esteem and sense of reality. After surviving a scapegoating situation, people might not want to find themselves in any social setting anymore. They might start believing themselves to be unlovable and defective. There is usually no way to counter it or fight your way out, unless there’s a higher authority who could side with you, or there’s a way to physically remove yourself from this environment.

Grey Rock, Hoovering and No Contact

Grey rock is a way to counter baiting and projection; narcissists learn and thrive on our emotional responses, it gives them a thrill to be able to send us into rage, terror, disbelief, shock or panic. Grey rocking means you give zero emotional response, and thus prove yourself very boring and a bad source of narcissistic supply. So, regardless of what egregious threat, accusation, claim or insult they make, you just reply with 'mhmm’ and look completely disinterested. You reply with one-word sentences, say 'sure’ or 'yup’ if they accuse you of something or try to fearmonger, answer questions with 'maybe’ or 'I don’t know’, agree with whatever bs they’re pulling out of their ass without caring, refuse to get pulled in or baited, give them no significance in the conversation until they leave. It is very hard to do, because they will up their game and even fly into rage to get a response, if they feel entitled to it. In some cases they might resort to violence. Often, they’ll keep changing the tactics until something works, and if nothing does, they’ll feel dejected and go find another source of supply. If they feel like they can’t get to you, this undermines their imagined power over you.

No contact is the only way to truly win against a narcissist; if they can’t reach you, they can’t manipulate or hurt you. This means no responding to messages, no letting them know where you live, blocking them on every service, and in most situations, even the enablers have to be no contact, because the narcissist is likely to send them into triangulation and use them to get to you. If you’re unable to go no-contact with a narcissist, a lot of people opt for 'low contact’, which means you only hear from them once a year, or once every 6 months, insufficient for them to gain control over you, and you grey-rock them all the way, and never share any personal info that might be used against you. Hoovering is something a narcissist will do to you after you’ve left them. They might leave you alone for a long time, then suddenly send a message saying they miss you, or they’re thinking about you and wishing you could do xyz together. They might also influence another person to tell you 'x misses you, they wish to see you again, they’re doing bad without you’. This is done to remind you of the 'good times’ and an attempt to draw you back in, as you’re supposed to have forgotten all the abuse already and be ready to take them back. It might come as outrageous expectation or denial of everything bad that happened – that’s because it is. All you have to do is grey-rock this, not respond, and enjoy in knowledge that even if you can’t ensure revenge, you can take yourself away from them, and they will never have you back.

Sources: Baiting, Scapegoating, LoveBombing, Gaslighting(video), Projection(video), Triangulation, Mirroring(video), FlyingMonkeys (video), Hoovering, Grey Rock

#narcissistic abuse #scapegoating #psychological abuse #narcissistic parents #emotional abuse #gaslighting #love bombing #mirroring #baiting #projection #triangulation #flying monkeys #enablers #this took 3 days to write wow #did you notice tumblr beta has a character limit???#i had to turn it off to be able to post this #i don't want a character limit on tumblr #let people read

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ilballodellavita · 3 years ago

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Måneskin Europa Plus Interview Translation

Hi everyone, this is a translation for Måneskin’s interview in Russia on 01.09.2021 with the radio station Europa Plus. I translated using just the Italian/Russian translator and of course Måneskin’s answers since I only know Italian, so if you speak Russian and I missed something feel free to tell me <3 This is also my first time translating such a long video so thanks for your patience! :-) You can download the interview here (Thanks @definitelynotdamiano for this link!) Tr = Translator

[ ] = My notes

Enjoy! (Under a read more because it’s pretty long)

Tr: We had to meet you, we are also your fans because we were at your event last night. We’ve been in love with you since Eurovision

All: thanks!

Tr: After the event last night we came here this morning without even changing

Vic: Right on *laughs*

Tr: It’s the first time that we [the interviewers] have our makeup like this, it’s unusual [for us], the first question is do you put on your makeup by yourselves or do you have a stylist to do it for you?

Thomas: Depends

Vic: When we are working we are fortunate to have a stylist because-

Thomas: Exactly

Vic: -if we were to do it ourselves every morning it would be very bad

Thomas: Very very bad yes

Tr: Today your makeup looks very nice. How are you finding Russia? Is it your first time in Russia? Do you like it/not like it?

Thomas: It’s very pretty

Damiano: Yes it’s the first time we’ve come

Thomas: We haven’t been able to see very much however it seems very pretty

Tr: The Russian audience is very different from other European countries; are you surprised at the amount of fans you have here in Moscow?

Damiano: Okay, it’s not so different, it’s very very hot. But yes we were surprised at the quantity of the fans we have

Tr: How did you ever decide to come to Russia? No one knew, it seemed a bit, as they say in Russian, an “all of a sudden snow”

Damiano: People have been asking us for a long time

Vic: They messaged us to try coming there and therefore we are inevitably here

Tr: You are exactly the type of singers that listen to fans and go where people ask you to go in regards to other countries then?

Vic: Yeah if we can

Ethan: Absolutely

Tr: [One of the interviewers] is learning Italian and when she hears you speaking Italian she is already happy and jittery (in an excited way) so really you can talk about anything. Anything you want she will be happy.

Thomas: Great

Damiano: Perfect

Tr: After your Eurovision win, has your life changed a lot? Or even before were you pretty famous in your own country [Italy]?

Damiano: No, no we’ll say not too much [of a change] however of course in Italy we already had good results. Surely it was a big change from before really just touring around Italy to now going and touring around Europe.

Tr: What objectives did you have for Eurovision, did you go to have a little fun or with the goal of winning for Italy? To, let’s say, defend the honour of your country?

Damiano: No, let’s say, both the things but more so to prove to Italy and others we could win with a genre of music that’s different from the traditional Italian music that is always supported; music that’s more melodic and light. We wanted to make another side of music in our country.

Thomas: Exactly. This type of music isn’t very public or wide-spread and we’d like to see it grow obviously

Tr: I would like to thank you because every once in a while I listen to as well as share Italian music to impressionable kids and the [traditional Italian] songs are more melancholic and sad and I was missing that “drive” that you bring into our lives.

Tr: It’s been a pleasure especially to watch your press conference after your Eurovision win and in my opinion they should let everyone put their feet up on the table when they are responding to the questions of the journalists.

Vic: That’s my opinion too

Damiano: True true true

Ethan: I agree

Tr: A question for Damiano: as a singer, at times you will have problems with the voice due to stress, if you have these problems how much time do you need to recover?

Damiano: It’s a thing that can happen but I try to prevent it from happening with various techniques that I am happy to follow to do everything [I can] so that it doesn’t happen

Vic: Yeah it never happens

Ethan: Damiano is very disciplined

Tr: Therefore no chocolate or honey?

Damiano: Exactly

Tr: Why did Ethan say Damiano is disciplined? In what sense did he mean?

Ethan: Well, he’s a person that really looks after himself, and if he commits to something he will do it and will see it through to the end

Tr: During concerts you all seem very lively. But in your private lives you all seem very calm, preferring to stay at home with family, not going out too much, in your private lives are you more outgoing or the reverse?

Damiano: The 3 of them [Ethan, Vic, Thomas] are more outgoing in respect to me, I prefer to stay at home.

Tr: How were you all welcomed back in Italy after the Eurovision victory? Because the last [Italian Eurovision win] was 1990 if I’m not wrong.

Ethan: Full of journalists!

Vic and Thomas: Good!

Vic: Almost like a soccer team welcome!

Ethan: In short, when we returned after the victory to our country we celebrated with our families because we hadn’t seen them in a while

Tr: If I’ve understood well, you will do a world tour and therefore you still have little time to see family

Vic: Exactly. In general, we have little time to relax *laughs*

Tr: And maybe then you have a little time to write other songs too

Damiano: No those are-

Thomas: No, no we find the right moments for them, obviously we have moments of inspiration with whatever we are doing. If we are live, doing different promotions, or meeting different fans, we always find moments of pause whether its 3 hours in the day to be writing

Vic: Yes, exactly the most important thing is the need to be truthful; inevitably we will be too busy or too tired and we will say “Okay, wait we need time to write”

Tr: When you compose music, how does it work? Are you working together on some parts, waiting on a muse, or saying “no, today we’re going to make a song”

Damiano: No, creativity comes at unexpected moments but it’s also a thing you can train. We find that when we have the time to write for a couple of days in the studio it’s usually in the morning and the evening when we throw out ideas, search for influences… unfortunately you can’t always expect an epiphany; otherwise it’s a bit difficult

Tr: You all know Little Big, right? [Little Big is a Russian band Måneskin in a different interview said they knew of]

All: Yeah yeah

Tr: So then while we are talking about Little Big, they said that during the pandemic lockdown they lived all together in a house and every day worked; did you do the same thing?

Vic: Unfortunately no, during lockdown we could not be together so we had to experiment with different ways of writing at a distance… obviously it’s not the same [difficult] for a group that’s fundamentally together, so therefore until we could meet again we were doing that.

Tr: We want to talk about your style, it’s a little inspired by the 70s, glam rock… and is this a style that you have chosen or is someone giving you advice about what to wear

Vic: For us it is very important to choose because the clothes that you wear really express you and we want to represent that. Therefore we’ve always been ourselves from when we were little up until now.

Tr: Do you have any intentions of launching a clothing collection?

Damiano: For now we’re focusing on music but maybe in the future when we have more free time

Tr: Going back to your style, it comes off strong, do you ever come across people who don’t understand and maybe complain about it? How do you react to this “aggressive” perception [of you]?

Damiano: In reality, even now that we have success, those types of comments get sent to us and we just rise above them. But when we were playing on the streets it was particularly difficult because there was a concentration of people just yelling insults at us, but luckily there are four of us and we support each other and grow to be more confident in ourselves.

Tr: Before coming out on stage at your concerts, do you have any particular rituals that bring you luck? That you do every time and it brings you luck?

Vic: Ehhh there’s some swear words

Ethan: We say “C’mon c’mon c’mon!”

Damiano: “C’mon c’mon c’mon” is the censored version

Ethan: Exactly

Tr: Before going on your transmissions, now every time you will change out the swear words!

All: Exactly *laugh*

Damiano: In Italian though

Tr: We have noticed that when someone doesn’t understand Italian, you can say anything in Italian [to them] and it just sounds really nice

Vic: Thank god *laughs*

Tr: What music do you listen to, what music inspires you? Are there artists that inspire you but you never listen to them? To avoid contamination and eventual plagiarism in your case?

Thomas: For us contamination is a very important topic… anyway we listen to different artists big and small and we search to mix them and we have a clear idea of what we want to do. It’s really important to take inspiration from many different artists and take the best parts from each of them.

Vic: Yes, of course we have particular artists that we take lots of inspiration from but we search to listen to a lot of music and center in on the little details we want.

Tr: Why did you decide to do a cover of Beggin’, did you have any fear before doing it?

[Damiano scrunches his face at this, I’m actually not sure if I translated it wrong or if that’s just a weirdly phrased question]

Vic: No, in reality it was very very small [that is to say, not scary?], compared to the first songs that we played together and now that we’ve written our original songs. In fact we never expected this [Beggin’ becoming a hit] to happen.

Tr: And maybe it’s the first time that a cover became big before your own songs; you’ve had such resounding success even on social media everywhere

Damiano: No no yeah it’s absurd

**Instrumental break where 2 songs play, Damiano gets up and comes back**

**A caller speaking Russian calls in, it seems they are playing a game with the caller about their Måneskin knowledge. During this time Måneskin does not speak except to each other, which cannot be heard**

Tr: We have received a bunch of questions but there are 3 questions that everyone is asking in particular. I will ask them now.

Tr: Is it true that you all have matching tattoos?

Damiano: Two

Tr: Where? Let us see

[They only show them the heart with arrow tattoo, not the Må one]

Damiano: How can I show you, uh, *unbuttons shirt to reveal his*

Ethan: *turns around and moves his hair to reveal his on the back of his neck*

Vic: *rolls up her sleeve to reveal hers*

Thomas: *rolls up his sleeve to reveal his*

Tr: The question for Ethan from yesterday [this is the same translator from the other interview and he was asked this yesterday] is “What shampoo do you use”

Ethan: I use shampoo based one hundred percent from love

Tr: The last question, and maybe the weirdest question, who of you follows the cosmos [space, like NASA] account and why?

Ethan: It’s me, I follow it because I've followed it a long time from when I first started following things on social media, because when I was little like 12-14 years old I had a love of astrophysics and therefore I followed all the pages.

Tr: Going back to your hit, I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE, what inspired this song. What message did you want to transfer to the public with this?

Damiano: The inspiration for the most part like all our songs comes from personal experience and this piece talks about the various “hidden” aspects of sex, like the “strange” or “excessive” acts and we wanted to normalize it by writing a song because we live like this ourselves.

Tr: When can your fans expect a new song? Do you have anything ready?

Vic: Yes

Damiano: Believe believe believe

Tr: You probably don't have any more secrets for your new album?

Damiano: We are full of secrets

Tr: We’ll try the other part, we know that you had a collaboration with Iggy Pop, do you have intentions of collaborating with others?

All: It’s a secret! *laughs*

**At this point they ask Måneskin to create a playlist of songs they like on a piece of paper, Thomas goes first, then Vic, then Damiano, and finally Ethan**

Damiano turns to Thomas: Can I tell you something? Scratch this out because no one can read it. It’s impossible. *Damiano tries to read it, then says no* *He then further insults him, but this is in good fun*

**Vic begins to draw Damiano, and Damiano, Ethan, and Thomas comment on it saying it’s nice and giving tips on what to add. Thomas says to add earrings and the snake tattoo on his chest, and Damiano asks her to “please give him high heels”**

**They then are given posters to sign while they look at Måneskin’s list**

Tr: Who wrote Death II - Pulp

Vic: Me

Tr: Do you have any intentions on covering Death II - Pulp? Or a collaboration? Or is it a secret?

Vic: We have a lot of secrets but they’re secrets from everybody

Damiano: Why not

Tr: Who wrote this one? [Even Flow - Pearl Jam]

Damiano: This one is mine

Tr: Ethan has chosen this one [Achilles Last Stand - Led Zeppelin]

Ethan: Yes

Tr: All the children now are going to school listening to this song so it will be a hell day at school

All: *mild laugh*

Tr: Who wrote Paranoid Android - Radiohead? Thomas.

Tr: After this interview where are you going, there is a crowd of fans outside you must get through to get past

Vic: To sleep!

Tr: In Russia, like most of the world, we are waiting for your concerts. Do you want to play in Russia, and do you know when?

Damiano: We still don’t know when but surely we will

Tr: It’s another secret?

Dami: *laughs* No this one we don’t know for real

Tr: We hope that the next time we see you there will be less secrets. Anyway we are waiting anxiously for your album. We will listen to it. Yesterday we had a lot of fun at your concert and here in Russia you have a lot of fans. We wish you a lot of success and we will always wait here.

All: Thanks very much

Here is the playlist mentioned above, and Vic’s drawing of Damiano ^

#maneskin #Måneskin #damiano david #thomas raggi #victoria de angelis #ethan torchio #translated interview

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starshipsofstarlord · 4 years ago

Note

Hey!!! I'm so glad you liked the blurb night idea :) 💞 Can I request a blurb with Peter bumping into the reader while she's kinda lost at times square and he's dressed as spiderman so he tries to flirt with you, but it makes you laugh instead?

I loved the idea hun, thankyou sm for helping me with this idea xxx

“You’re a guy?”

Pairing | Peter Parker x reader

Summary | based on the request

Warnings | mentions of crime, brief mention of death and drugs, mention of sex

2K blurb masterlist

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

“And there was this girl. She was really pretty, but-“ May quirked her head at her nephew, hardly understanding his blabber as he sped through his words like he was racing verbally against a cheetah, though, she was manage to uncover that particular sentence.

“Whoa, slow down kiddo.” His aunt laughed lightly, bracing her shoulders on his arms as he caught his overexcited breath. “How about you start from the beginning, and take a breath?” May had much practice with calming the boy down, she sincerely remembered how that night his parents had dropped him off, how worried he had been for them not to return. And they didn’t.

Peter bobbed his head in a eager nod, doing as he was recommended by his legal guardian, puffing the air in through his cheeks, as he inhaled and exhaled normally through his nose.“I was out patrolling the city, checking out for any bad guys, and then, I saw her...” her, the girl that had captured his attention, and distracted him from his friendly neighbourhood duties. She was much like a magnet, pulling his north face into her axis spinning world, distracting him from the things that he was actually meant to be ensuring did not happen on his watch.

“Weren’t you supposed to be patrolling?” The elder of the two quirked a brow, earning a splutter of a response from the teenager under her roof. She wasn’t a strict guardian concerning his heroic antics, though, she made sure to keep him on track for his own sake. Peter had quite the tendency to become overrun with stress from the amounts of responsibilities that he took on, and him being only young did not help the situation.

“I’m getting to that!” He was fast to defend himself, huffing his chest in as he prepared to tell May his story, from the beginning. It was quite the tale, he’d say, combined with the embarrassment of his own presence entangled in the random and friendly interaction that he had felt promiscuously lulled to create.

Queens, it was new to you. There were so many streets, filled to the brim with people that seemed to know where they were going. Unlike them, you didn’t, in fact, you’d go as far to admit that you were lost. Lost in a place that was known for the chaos that wrapped it off with a tarnished bow, and made the collateral practically fashion within its various newspapers that rounded every corner to divulge their companies’ obscure theories.

A panicked look struck your eyes, as you turned, shaking your head and pressing through the mass of citizens and finding an empty lot, scrolling through your phone, diverting your attention quickly towards google maps. It was the only thing that you could think of, it’d be a shame if you were to disturb one of the many passersby from their clearly packed schedule; you did not need that, nor berating them on your conscience.

“You lost or something?” A voice asked, making your shoulders jump as a figure, twisted in the colours red and blue, with a seam of black fell from the roofs above. Your heart rate imploded, more so when you realised who the mask wearing vigilante was. The wearer, although unknown, was infamous for the successions of saving lives that they had participated in, including defending the galaxy against outside threats.

It was Spiderman, the neighbourhood dubbed avenger, that tried their utmost to return stolen or lost bikes to their rightful owners, and protected banks from armed and overnight robberies. There was known to be something different about this particular hero, they were young and clearly had time to improve their skill set, for they were quite the clutz, and spoke significantly more to those he faced off against than what was necessary.

But this one hero, stood out amongst the rest. Not only was their suit designed by Stark technology, as you had written about in a work article, but it was far more concealing, and not to mention restricting, for the person beneath the red concoction to wear. Yes, you were in town for a new job, specifically to delve into the details that regards the world of heroes, and exploit all possible angles to how they deserved as much recognition for their stunts, as the president received for his noble speeches.

“I-“ you paused, think back over what you were preparing to say. It was without a doubt, that you had not expected the vigilante to appear in your spectacle gaze the first time that you stepped foot on the premises that he roamed, and protected. But here the spider enthusiast was, leaping down to stand beside you, burdening you with more knowledge that you could use, such as the person beneath was not as tall as you had expected, and there was definitely no way you could see their true eyes through the shallow white cases that covered them.

That was something you could write about, and make various descriptive theories about. ‘Seeing in white vision, sparked by the purity that glazed their unknown signature irises, Spider-Man halts all with the sparing of their true self. They may have reasons for shielding their eyes, much like Daredevil, not needing to see when they are overcome with various other senses that convulse their body into attentiveness,” -no, that sounded absolutely terrible.

And not to mention, if you spread that horrid writing about, Murdoc would be ashamed of ever deciding to get your aid in uncovering the route of the villainous underworld, that had take over Hell’s Kitchen and turned it into their own ring for drugs and more. The battle of New York had many repercussions, that being one, another influencing you into the career choice of being said reporter that you now proclaimed yourself as.

“Yeah, I am.” You responded with the company of a smile, and Peter swore he could feel his heart convulse beneath his suit. It’s pace was vaguely rapid, disheartening him from thinking of any more to say, he was practically speechless. “I’m looking for New York Times, you ever heard of it?” Yes, he most definitely had, it was the average run of the mill newspaper company, though, he did not know that you intended to change that into something much more.

“Funnily enough I have.” He scratched the back of his head, his arm subconsciously flexing as he did so, feeling like he had failed as your eyes remained focused on the wideness of his suit’s intense eyes. “It’s about three blocks from here, I could take you there if you want, I have nothing more to do.” From his proclamation you quirked a brow, crossing your arms amusedly.

“Don’t you have a city to watch over?” You asked, watching as Spider-Man’s false eyes widened, and he visibly panicked, realising that you had been right. “I’ll find my way, I’ve been to New York, many a time, Queens is bound to be a piece of cake. Also, a map is always handy.” A shrug rippled off your shoulders, Peter watching and walking closer as he thought of something more to add to the initial acquainting conversation.

“I’m Spider-Man.” Inwardly, and beneath his mask, Peter cringed noting how his voice rose, and it could be perceived as boasting. That though was definitely not his intent in the slightest, but he worried of how it may have come across to you. He wasn’t sure how you may have read it as, but a swarm of relief filled his lungs as he watched the corner of your eyes crinkle up, humoured by the tone of his that had significantly heightened. “Im a guy by the way.”

He felt the need to state that, especially considering people’s perceptions in the past. But instantly after saying it, he was regretful, through, he had to admit, he enjoyed listening to you laugh, it was like a melody that he wanted to listen to until the end of time. “You’re a guy?” You released a dramatic gasp, aiding your phoney response. “Yeah, no. I completely thought that you were a girl.” Sarcasm, he had well gotten used to frequency of it thanks to Mr Stark, who... well, he wasn’t around any more.

“You’re funny.” He smiled, shaking his head whence he realised that you could not see his hidden expression. “I don’t know, maybe, would you like to go to coffee with me, if you have time before you have to get to the news place? I mean, I don’t drink that much coffee, I get told that if I have too much caffeine that I get a little hyper, but I mean, I’m trying to ask you out and I have a really bad track record of-“

“Sure.” You spoke, ignoring the map that had finally loaded onto the screen of your phone. It was to your luck that you weren’t required to make your presence known at the business until tomorrow, and there was always time to kill, so you thought screw it, and decided to find it so that you didn’t get lost the approaching day. “Are you going to be wearing that, or you know, take it off?” You pointed at him, making peter surprised.

“It’s not that kind of date.” He quickly responded. “I meant just for a drink, not to hook up in the back of an a- oh, you meant the suit, didn’t you.” With a roll of your eyes, you nodded, pursing your lips together, as Peter felt the rain of relief once more. “Oh, that’s good, not that I wouldn’t want to, you’re gorgeous, that just wasn’t my intent and I’m rambling again, aren’t I?”

“Basically.” You wrinkled your nose, with a laugh, the way you scrunched it up was adorable to Peter. “So I’ll meet you here in two hours, I’ll let you finish up your duties, and change into something that doesn’t make you look you’re wearing a thong, because I can tell you from experience that those things are not comfortable. That good for you Spidey?”

“That works.” He spoke, trying his best to contain his overflowing excitement, biting his lip to do so. “That definitely works.”

“Hi.” The familiar voice of Spider-Man spoke, and you turned around, watching as a young man, not much different in age from yourself rounded the corner. He was clothed in a blue and white chequered flannel, and grey jeans, and you had to say, that whilst the amazing Spider-Man was quite the sight, this was something else.

“Oh, I was waiting for a girl actually.” You informed him, clearly messing with him, as you walked closer, a stretching smile pinning up the corners of your lips. “But I guess you’ll do webslinger.” He could feel his heart racing, but he walked closer, watching as you eyed him, a stranger met with the sight of a vigilante unmasked. “Where to, red and blue?”

“There’s this really good place on main, they sell the best sandwiches. And trust me, once you buy from there, you won’t stop...” the two of you began to walk away together, and towards Peter’s secret destination, where the two of you learnt the others real name.

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