#i know you know this about me but it bears repeating
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I want to add to this: 3rd graders can and will act like bitchy highschoolers with all the girl drama about whose prettier and all the insecurities. It really depends on the school (I have firsthand experience, you get two insecure girls in the room and they turn the place into a hellhole)
Also third graders don't want to be baby talked but they DO want to listen to the gummy bear song and the its raining tacos song on repeat.
They will love you if you know what fnaf and minecraft are and nothing makes them think you're old then telling them you were born before minecraft was invented. If you ask them what the fortnight is or point to a minecraft creeper and ask if that's Mr Minecraft they love it AND hate it.
In fact tell 3rd and 4th graders that you're 100 to 300 years old. They will secretly believe you but constantly check. Never sway. You are 300 years old. They love it.
Preschoolers, especially preschool girls, are little demons and it's fantastic. One 4 year old girl was eating dirt and rubbing mud on her face to give herself a beard. The other went screaming around chasing the boys with a warriors death cry one minute and the next minute told me that she "didn't wanna be the chaboose today".
Preschoolers cannot control their emotions yet. None of them can. They are all in with every emotion they have, good or bad. Balloon? Best day ever! Nap? Worst day ever. Snack after nap? Best day ever! Gender does not matter all preschoolers cry and laugh a lot and their emotions are too big for their tiny bodies. They're still figuring it out.
4th graders want to be cool. They are also still kids at heart. They walk that line of really wanting to be a big kid and make decisions and feel smart and independent and important but they want to have a makerspace and they want to have dance parties and listen to its raining tacos too. They want to be silly but taken seriously so you can be very silly with them, but you have to tell them when they've taught you something and they need a lot of encouragement too.
Ans yourw right, 5th graders think they know everything. 6th graders do too. Both 5th and 6th graders are obsessed with flirting and dating.
Sometimes 3rd graders, especially if they are exposed to lots of TV orhave older siblings, will parrot this behaviour early without really knowing what they're doing.
just saw another fic that completely misunderstood elementary schoolers. going to make a post as soon as my shift is done
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What would the ROs do if they woke up to find the mc had left the room to sleep like on the couch or something because they didn’t want to wake the ROs up with nightmares?
S: Their eyes flutter open, noticing the hand they rested on your waist now clutches the cold sheets where you once lay. They do not hesitate to search for you but are stricken by what they find. You, curled into a ball on the couch, whimpering in fear from whatever haunts your dreams. It's a familiar picture, and it pains them that you feel obligated to bear it alone when you have been so gracious with their own nightmares.
Without a word, S carefully manoeuvres themselves on the couch so their chest is pressed against your back. They slide one arm under your head while the other cradles your arm, intertwining your fingers in theirs. "Do not isolate yourself needlessly, darling," they whisper, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder. "We are aware of one another's darkness, yet here we remain. Please, do not starve me of my strength."
Rain: Rain is a light sleeper, so the moment the mattress rises from the lack of weight, their eyes flutter open to find you perched on the edge, readying yourself to leave. Before you can move, however, Rain reaches out, laying their hand atop yours, tugging your attention.
"Can't sleep?" They ask with a bleary smile.
"Nightmare," you repeat wearily, "It's okay. Go back to sleep. I'm going to sleep on the couch."
Rain's brow furrows, their lips thinning into a displeased frown. "Please stay. I don't like sleeping alone, you know?" They lean forward, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand that they hold. "If you are concerned about your nightmares keeping me awake, you needn't be. When alone, I do not sleep at all. I finally rest when I am beside you. Stay."
Taj: It takes until the morning for Taj to realise you sneaked out of bed in the night. Expecting to gather you in their arms the moment their eyes open, they are disappointed to find your side of the bed long cold. Grousing, they drag themselves out of bed to go hunt for you. They find you already in the kitchen making a pot of coffee, dishevelled hair and dark circles under your eyes.
"Didn't sleep well?" Taj queries, a cold stare you recognise all too well. It's the look of being perceived.
You shrug, trying to play off what you know they have already seen. "Nightmare," you offer, a slither of the truth, "but I didn't want to disturb you, so I tried sleeping on the couch."
Taj snarls, closing the distance and wraps their arms around your waist, resting their chin on your shoulder. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Pretend. I hate it." Their breath hitches. "I didn't even realise you were gone. I hate that, too. Wake me next time."
"You know you hate it when I wake you."
"Not if you're scared. Not if you need me."
N: N stretches their limbs, cursing the crick in their back as equally as the hard lumps in your mattress. They really must convince you to purchase something a little more luxurious. You'll thank them later. Their eyes flutter open, expecting to see you pressed closely to them, your rhythmic breathing lulling them sweetly back to sleep. But you are gone. Instinctively, they want to reach out with their mind to locate you, but they push it back down. Boundaries.
It's still dark, but N has no problem navigating it. The apartment is small, so figuring out where you have gone doesn't take a genius. Moments later, they find you curled into a ball, shivering and whimpering in your sleep. They tut, shaking their heads.
"I really wish you would ask for help, my dear," they whisper to themselves, kneeling until they are level with you. They press a hand to your forehead, allowing some of their warmth to seep into your skin. "Allow me to lay to rest whatever is troubling you inside that noggin' of yours, love, or at least let me stand beside you. Do not hide from me."
Umbra: Usually, Umbra spends their nights curled up at your window or lying beside you, guarding your sleep against those who might impose. It mostly depends on you. They like watching you fall asleep pressed against them because sometimes, on occasion, they allow their own eyes to shut. They do not need to, but being with you inspires hopes of ordinary domesticity; it reminds them to live.
But it never lasts long. The moment you shift in your sleep, and the fidgeting and the whimpering starts, Umbra is awake and alert. They once asked S what they might do to help in such a situation, but there is no magic cure, just reassurance. "I am here," they whisper, unsure if you can hear. "You are safe. You are safe." The words are a safety net they sometimes question whether they know how to wield.
You wake with a start, shoving yourself to the other side of the bed, chest heaving and hands shaking. You stare at Umbra, eyes wide, fear gripping your throat. "I'm sorry. Did I disturb you?"
"No," Umbra replies simply. "You never could."
"Would you prefer me to sleep elsewhere?"
"Why would I prefer that?" They query, cocking their head to one side. "I cannot protect you if you are anywhere else."
(Hopefully this was okay!)
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Thoughts and prayers rants...
So, now that I've had almost 48 hours to marinate on this and cycled through my emotions, I am in a much better headspace to talk on the whole 9-1-1 of it all.
But this bears repeating: We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.
So, first and foremost, I've decided that canon stopped for me at 8x05. lol. I am going to continue with my BT train like that shit show didn't happen. And for me, for a while, I am going to let the show end there. I will go back, probably after the hiatus, but not how I was. I do love all the characters on this show (some more than others) and I still want to be able to see their journey, but I need a break from that manipulation stunt. I'm still going to share all the positive BT stuff I see and all the beautiful Lou content I see.
Secondly, now that I am over the initial hurt of the breakup, I'm just mad. We were manipulated intentionally with 8x05 for us to feel worse when the break up happened. That was unnecessary. And that was cruel. And I know that a lot of this is because it was the icing on a shit week. Emotions were already raw due to the election and it was reallllllyyyy bad timing for this, but that doesn't make the way they did it okay, just that it can explain why there was such a strong reaction for many of us, on top of the completely justified anger.
Breakups happen, and that's okay. If it was the end of Tommy's time on the show, that's okay. I am a Buck girlie and I always will be. But... the breakup was reductive, stereotypical, and just poor storytelling. I get they want to leave doors open a crack, because you never truly know, but turning him into an OOC stereotypical biphobic gay man is disgusting. You had this beautiful thing and you shat on it. I am going to do another post about my personal relationship with groundbreaking storylines next.
That was a miscommunication. That was a breakup where someone chases after you and is like wtf actually just happened. It felt like whiplash, because that is not how breakups are formulated in media. You know how else you could have written him out of the story?
At the date (and the basketball tickets are actually a really sweet touch when you think about it) Tommy could have told Buck that he got a job offer in another city or state or that his parents are ill and he has to go home to take care of them and asked Buck to go with him. At the apartment, it could have been buck telling him that as much as he could see a future with him, he can't go with him.
Would it have sucked? Yes. But it wouldn't have induced this amount of rage.
For over six months Lou and BTs have been at the receiving amount of a ton of vitriol. And that's not to say that there weren't antagonizers on this side of the fence or that BTs never did anything wrong, but this isn't a both sides bullshit piece. People can suck everywhere, but only one "side" harassed an actor and his family with death threats, he read about the "stoning" calls, used slurs on a regular basis. All of this persisted for months for it to turn out that he was the only one who seemed to give a shit about the story and it's representation. There honestly doesn't seem like there would have been anyone better for it.
You know what's ironic? It was the Buddie's hate and vitriol that pulled me into fandom and made me love Tommy and then Lou. When they would run their mouths, I would look into it and I found a man who genuinely seems like (he is still someone we don't know) a wonderfully kind, sweethearted, genuine man. He looks like a bundle of light and his smile can warm even the coldest hearts. So their vitriol made me a fan. So thanks BoBs.
Buck and Tommy wasn't just about Buck's queerness and definitely not about "wanting to see two white men kiss". It was about our love for Buck. We saw him happier and more fulfilled than he's ever been. We see his life being lived and full of love and stuff and joy.
Again:
We fell in love with Tommy because he made Buck fall in love with Evan.
And you know what, not matter how reductive and all the phobics that breakup was, they can never take that away from us.
#we fell in love with tommy because he made buck fall in love with evan#bucktommy#tevan#tommy kinard#evan buckley#911 abc#the writing on this episode was complete ass as far as this was concerned#honestly#911 discourse#also stay the fuck out of our tags if you dont like what were saying
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I love your platonic hcs with five!! Can you make more please?:33
Yandere!Five/Reader [platonic/hcs]
tw: very soft yan!dad!five, reader described as child here, mentions of Five/Dolores romantic relationship, brief mentions of Five's past trauma, hints on eating disorders, overprotective behavior word count: ~900. a/n: Thank you for your request, Anon. It was good to write something about my old interest after quite a break. I made this is mostly based on information I had read months ago from some book. Tiny sequel for this.
Kinda sad that tua fics aren't as popular as before and slowly dying.
Let's ignore the ending and other moments we shouldn't talk and pretend like...everything ended well for the Hargreeves family! All the siblings mostly live separately from each other, but they still care for one another and meet on birthdays and other holidays.
Five meets a young, pretty lady during one of his undercover missions, and after that «love at first sight» trope, their relationship grows strong, leading to Five finally abandoning his job as an agent (honestly, good for him).
I really like the idea of Five having a quiet, peaceful life somewhere far away with his family. His wife is a popular fashion model and earns enough money for the family, while Five is the one who stays at the house, keeping you safe and raising the way he wished he was.
Five is scared to repeat the past mistakes his family members made; that's why I see him being extra overprotective with you. He wants to give you everything he never had in his childhood, and it often leads to you growing into some spoiled brat.
I can see him pausing for a moment and having that «wait...WHAT?» look when you reply with a sassy remark, and that's the moment he sees that you're basically becoming the tiny version of his young self. Part of him is proud, he knows that you will be able to stand up for yourself in the future, but the other part...he's not really happy to deal with someone who uses his own methods against him, as we can tell from the show (points at the other versions of Five).
Five is that parent who wakes up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for you. He has a sweet tooth, but he avoids giving you too much sugar, like I mentioned before. By the moment you wake up, you see a plate of eggs and bacon carefully formed into a smiley face with a glass of juice next to it.
I see Five spending a lot of time reading about parenting. He is well-educated enough in many fields, but it's just something he likes to do when he is free from house chores. Sitting in the chair with glasses on and a warm blanket laid on his lap, it's a heartwarming sight. Dolores will return from work later this day, only to see her husband having a nap in their little library and their child eeping next to him.
Five is especially careful with the food he prepares for you. After decades of loneliness in the apocalypse, he had few food choices. Every day felt like a constant survival, and the idea of you experiencing the same at such a young age terrifies him. He unconsciously gives you a little too much food, constantly asking “you need more?” just to make sure you're well-fed. Five might pay less attention to himself, but you're getting the best meal ever.
Five gives me the idea of that dad who will hold you close next to him 24/7. Yandere Five just can't bear the idea of you being somewhere away from home for more than an hour. There's a deep conflict in his heart, and his wife always tells him that it's fine. You're growing up, it's natural for you to try and separate from your parents, but this bothers him to insanity.
There's no more apocalypse, no more The Commission; the world is quiet now; there's no need for him to worry about. He never argues with you about it, the moment you leave your home to meet with a friend, your phone will cry from constant messages like “are you okay?”, “where are you now?”, “when will you go back?”. He needs to know it in case, well...just something happens, he's responsible adult, after all.
For most parents, Five seems like the ideal father figure, but he gets a little overbearing sometimes. When you snap at him, giving something like “just leave me alone!”, he would get quiet immediately. It is a significant difference between him now and in the past.
Usually he never lets people to dismiss him like that, he would have dragged you back and lectured you about disrespecting him, but now he's just sad. He will let you cool down, just to think what he has done wrong.
Five loves spending time with you, mainly because he never had the chance to spend some time with his own family. There were missions, there were trainings, there were constant fighting, etc., and after his retirement he plans to give his full attention to you. He knows a lot, from how to solve some difficult equations under 15 minutes to how to kill a person with a pencil, but it's not the same when the person whom you trust the most teacher you everything.
Reginald never bothered to spend a simple father and son moments, how to be a man and deal with various situations in his life, that's why he wants to teach you of something simple. He knows it's not as impressive, but it's quality time that matters.
#yandere x reader#yandere tua#tua x reader#yandere five hargreeves#five hargreeves#tw yandere#platonic yandere#five hargreeves x reader#number five x reader#the umbrella academy x reader
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Stop spreading misinformation.
Says someone about to do precisely that about men.
If women in general were around as many bears as they are with men, the attack rate from bears would be much higher.
Also, a strange man is actually unlikely to attack a woman, despite sexist stereotypes. Most attackers of any kind already know the victim.
Which brings the number down to, what, a few dozen men in over a hundred million?
Pretty good odds, I think.
“All bears will kill you” you’re perpetrating animal cruelty ideology that animals are monsters, and humans are above animals. Holy hell. Why are you so selfish? I’ve encountered bears while camping and hiking and if you don’t provoke them you will most likely be safe. My Dad saw one that was close enough he could touch him if he raised his hand. Nothing bad happened to him. You know this is the garbage thinking that caused ppl to hunt innocent sharks bc of the Jaws movie.
I love how you threw your toys out of the pram with all this meaningless blather and anecdata…
…and you hope we won't notice that you carefully removed the end of the sentence.
Or maybe you somehow thought it was irrelevant. Doesn't really matter.
murderer statistic used to justify womens' irrational sexist fears
Drink a molecule.
HAFW >Why's it up to women to brush aside and pretend not to be afraid of what is a more than non-zero chance of rape and murder?
The chance of murder or assault victimization is much higher for men, but y'all act like (and sometimes explicitly say) only women "have to" be concerned about being attacked by men.
Also, I love the implication that every single woman shares your fears. Which is, um, sexist.
Why's it that whenever men can't find dates there are ten million articles deeply pondering but when women say they'd prefer the bear- (We KNOW it's deadly) because unlike human men it won't act out of cruelty and malice, it's suddenly women's responsibility to police their frustration with men?
Most people don't like being told that they're considered more dangerous than a notoriously dangerous wild animal.
Also, plenty of women disagreed with Team Bear.
Also, you're assuming the choice was based on actual valid frustrations, and not a single member of Team Bear is a paranoid idiot.
You yourself seem to care more about the assailant's motives than the actual harm it will do to you, which is, uh, kind of proving the idea that you people are deluded.
Also, I love how you think discussing an extremely common human issue - one commonly found in ladies mags too - is on the same moral level as being vocally afraid of half the human race, especially compared to a bear.
More evidence for the delusion theory.
Logically speaking, you should be happy that men are reacting this way. This means many of them will have less contact with women.
Which should make women safer, right?
That's what you want, right?
Or is it really about having moral authority?
If it was a known fact that clowns made up 90% of all sexual-based offenses, avoiding them wouldn't be "irrational"
It would be if there were only 10 sex offenses a year. But something tells me you didn't look up any actual stats.
Also, most sex crimes are done by repeat offenders, IIRC.
khorne> You'll push forward your ideas like they keep you safe but they haven't and don't.
Khorne, you're assuming these people have enough self-awareness to even recognize that their ideas don't work.
People on Team Bear.
A tad optimistic.
Why women choose the bear: https://www.whoismakingnews.com/
Don't care. Still irrational. Most men won't hurt you if you get too close. All bears will hurt you if you get too close.
They are territorial, wild animals.
Also, quite a lot of women are not team bear. XD Quite a lot of women understand how sexist and stupid that choice is.
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MAFIA X COP
mafia boss!clay beresford x cop!reader
warnings: NSFW / SMUT ; sex tapes ; kidnapping ; (unprotected) PIV sex ; long buildup to the actual sex scene
writers note: this is all fiction and probably won’t happen in real life, im not too educated in the whole mafia stuff so if there are any inconsistencies i am sorry !
You're a detective for the NYPD (new york police department) and you're running an investigation on a robbery - when you realize clay, a very powerful and dangerous man, had done it, you quickly shut down your investigation, not wanting to get involved with him. you're completely oblivious to the fact that clay had already found out every single detail about you the day you joined the force. from your appearance, to your favorite color, to a super top secret sex tape you made in college…
Clay is sitting in his hotel suite, nursing a whiskey as he watches you on top of some scrawny guy. the footage is black and white and shows you bouncing up and down on the boys lap, your back arching at a certain angle that makes your tits look amazing.
Clay sets down his drink once he feels the stirring in his pants. he grabs the phone and dials a number from memory,
“Vinnie, get me y/f/n y/l/n.” he says firmly and quickly. “Get you her…” Vinnie repeats with his thick italian accent,
“how, boss?” He asks, needing more info so he doesn’t screw anything up.
“Just bring her to my suite, as soon as possible. And listen, vinnie… be gentle, yeah?” clay replies, his tone softer than usual.
the next day, as you’re walking briskly to your apartment building, two men emerge from the shadows. one clamps a gloved hand over your mouth, before you can scream, while the other puts a bag over your head.
you get thrown into a van with three other men, the two that had kindapped you and the driver.
The men carefully guide you to sit on the van's bench seat, their grip firm but not painful. One of them speaks in a gruff whisper, “Don't make this harder than it needs to be, Detective. The boss just wants to talk.”
“W-who are you?” you ask, your voice cracking.
“Name’s vinnie, that’s marco and the driver there isn’t important. We’re taking you to clay beresford.” Vinnie grins, as if he had just told you incredible news.
“Beresford…” you repeat, the name familiar on your tongue.
Vinnie chuckles darkly. “That's right, dollface. Beresford. Now, you're gonna come with us nice and quiet, ain't ya? No fuss.”
You sit quietly, leg shaking in … fear? anticipation? just anxiety in general maybe?
They bring you to clays hotel suite discreetly. Vinnie knocks on the door and as expected, clay opens it. “leave us.” he waves off vinnie and marco.
Clay undoes your blindfold and it takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the light, your pupils dilating. “Clay,” you greet him coolly.
“Y/f/n,” he greets with the same cool tone. his gaze travels up and down your body, stopping shortly to take in your heaving chest before continuing down to your hips. “you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting for this.”
“What do you want?” you ask, trying to mask your fear.
Clay steps closer, his hands roaming over your sides “I think you know exactly what i want.” his hand reaches to unbutton the first button on your blouse.
“You want to fuck a detective?” you ask in disbelief.
“It’s more than that, darling.” he murmurs, his finger popping the button open, “I want you to be mine. To be my wife. To carry my name. To bear my children.”
You reach up to redo the button on your blouse. this is crazy. you’re a cop, for gods sake! you can’t just marry a mafia boss. i mean- it goes against everything you believe in! “I can’t do that.”
“Can’t or won’t?” he lets his hands drop to his sides, “last time i checked you weren’t spoken for. No husband, no boyfriend.”
“Just because im single doesn’t mean i can be with you.” You state firmly.
Clay chuckles darkly, “and why not?” He moves closer, slowly sliding his hands around your waist to pull you flush against him. “i can give you everything. money, power, protection, anything you want or need, i have it ready for you.” He murmurs against your lips, leaning in to press his against yours.
You lean up, ready to lose yourself in his lips before backing away. “no, no, i can’t do this.” You rub your temples, frustrated.
“Come on, what’s stopping you?” clay asks, crossing his arms.
“I just can’t.” You furrow your brows, confused as to why this is all happening and how it happened so quickly.
“Your lips say that, but your body says otherwise.” you’re back in the position you were before, with his arms around your waist and bodies pressed together “Can’t you see it? our bodies fit together perfectly, we’re made for each other.” Clay chuckles, exaggerating his words in a playful manner.
You back away again “i- i took an oath to serve and protect-,”
“Fuck oaths. Y/f/n, im telling you that you can have everything in the world if you just say you’ll be mine and you’re thinking about some oath?”
You stay silent, feeling way too many emotions to say anything.
Clay rubs his temples, unsure of how to convince you. “Look, i know this is a lot to take in, but i’ve been fascinated with you since the day you joined the force. I promise you, if you just say yes, you’ll be the happiest woman alive.”
He leans in close, too close, close enough for his lips to touch yours. To his surprise, you don’t pull away. He smiles softly against your lips as your tongues tangle around each other.
You’re both left breathless and panting when you pull away, “you’re a crime boss..” you whisper against his lips. “I’m a businessman.” he corrects you before claiming your lips again and letting his hands wander all over your body.
Clay lifts your leg up to hook on his hip, sliding his hand down to your ass then lifting you up. “Wrap your legs around me, darling.” He murmurs against your lips and you do as he says without thinking twice.
He carries you to the bedroom and lays you down on the king sized bed, one hand on your waist and the other spreading your legs. He starts unbuttoning your blouse eagerly, his lips still pressed against yours.
His lips wander down to your neck, sucking and biting gently. Your blouse is now half open, your tits almost spilling out of your bra.
“Say you’ll be mine, y/f/n.” he murmurs against your lips as his hands slide down your unzip your skirt. “say it.”
You pause for a moment then murmur “I’ll be yours..” against his lips.
Those three words seem to heighten clays desire, his movements become more hungry and less calculated. He slides your skirt down then takes a moment to admire your naked form.
“Holy…” He breathes then presses a kiss to the center of your chest, then your stomach, then just above the waistline of your panties. “a body like yours deserves to be worshipped.” he murmurs then crawls back up to kiss your lips.
You kiss him back hungrily, now starting to undress him. once his dress shirt is open he shrugs it off and reveals a set of toned abs. his hands swiftly unbuckle his belt and slide his pants off. your gaze drifts down his body in appreciation, stopping at his boxers to appreciate the bulge.
“Like what you see?” he smirks then hooks his fingers in your panties, silently asking for permission to tug them down. you nod and he pulls them down your legs then tosses them on the floor, reaching his hand behind your back to undo your bra.
His gaze zeros on your tits, he leans in and presses a kiss or two on your breast before sucking on your nipple gently. He releases it with a soft pop then hooks your legs over his waist.
Clay aligns himself with your entrance then slowly pushes in “stop me if it’s too much,”
You throw your head back on his pillow and moan at the feeling of his length stretching you out.
Clays eyes are shut and his brows are furrowed as he groans, pushing deeper and deeper until his base disappears inside of you.
“Oh god” he moans, stilling inside you for a moment before he starts thrusting slowly “you’re so fucking tight.”
His hands guide your hips, moving them at the same speed as his thrusts at an angle that hits your perfect spot.
“Right there!” you throw your head back, your back arching slightly, signaling that you’re close.
“That’s it, baby, let go.” he smirks and keeps thrusting, gradually getting faster and harder.
You let out a high pitched moan, your legs twitching beneath him as you find your release.
Clay feels your walls clench around him and the feeling is… incredible. “fuck” he moans, “good girl.”
He holds back, determined to make you come again before he does. his fingers slide down between your thighs, rubbing and teasing your clit as he watches you writhe beneath him.
His thumb presses down and rubs your clit in time with his thrusts. His focus solely on your pleasure. “god, you’re gorgeous” his gaze locked on your face as you moan his name.
Clay lifts your hips higher, hooking your legs on his shoulders and thrusting in again, the new position allowing him to hit that perfect button inside you.
You let out a loud moan, biting your lip afterwards.
“That’s it, let me hear you.” he smiles and kisses your lips gently.
Those words make you break, your body shuddering beneath him, your back arching and your eyes rolled back. clay feels your walls clench around him once more and he lets himself let go. “fuck… fuck, FUCK!”
He stills.
Clay pulls slowly pulls out, his sheets now soaked in both of your juices and cum leaking out of your pussy.
He takes a couple of deep breaths then gets up, grabbing some paper towels “let me clean you up” he says softly and start wiping.
Once you’re both somewhat clean, he lies down next to you and pulls you close, “Thank you.” he murmurs against your neck, leaving a soft kiss on the back of it.
“For what?” you smile, amused and a bit confused.
“For agreeing to be mine.” he places another kiss to your neck then settles against the pillow, ready to fall asleep with you in his arms.
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i love rian johnson for making me feel smart when im really not, and for making ALL of his characters fun
#the second thing is a collaboration between writers actors and him really#but it's just like astounding to me#idk if it's the abundance of shitty dismissive writing for side characters in other shows and movies#or if it's really uniquely good in his stuff but at least for me there are no misses#feels to me like everyone's at a 100% ALL the time it is INSANE#maybe bc murder mysteries use a lot of stereotypes so it's prob easy to nail#anyways i am having a blast i think im staying up all night to watch this#also can i just say natasha lyonne has my entire heart and soul always and forever?#i know you know this about me but it bears repeating#i feel genuinely lucky to be alive at the same time as her she's incredible#like most of the time I'm like whatever actors are just regular people who like to play pretend idc#but SHE#she's a STAR#laz watches
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I don't actually go here, but have this little sketch that I made for @frogtossing that might have gotten a little out of hand. Woopsies.
(I was looking through some Joker Out tags out of interest and got stuck on watching some music videos and the one for New Wave?? I like the vibes a lot)
#Okay bear with me here#I know next to nothing about all of this; I am way out of my usual areas of expertise so if I am missing tags let me know#Joker Out#Jan Peteh#Digital art#I will be honest the most fun was scribbling in the background#I also took some artistic liberties with his jacket (I couldn't be bothered to spend more time on it)#And I am so sorry if his face doesn't look closer to how he actually looks I did my best#I am and will always be someone who prefers faceless characters and monsters#But I did my best#Hope you like this Tossing! If you don't there will be no refunds#Except maybe I might make you a second autism creature plush if that were the case#Also I know the colors are off#That is also an artistic liberty I took#(I repeat this was supposed to be a sketch; the fact that there is a background at all is already incredible to me)#((I made this in about 45 minutes which is a record time for me))
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You know, I feel like, this entire fact rests purely on the point that, the series NEVER dared to resolve the entire Uchiha conflict, and I don't mean the battle with Madara and Obito, I mean, literally, publically acknowledging the Uchiha clan, how it came to their massacre, pardoning them with memorial statues and whatnot, etc. Because, otherwise, I can understand why Sasuke wouldn't ever regurlarly show his face around Sakura and the others, because he might be feeling betrayed by his own team. Neither Kakashi, nor Naruto, ever made an effort to dig up facts about the Uchiha massacre, challenging the elders and feudal lords, who are all bearing responsibility for the massacre even taking place, enabling Danzo and the Konoha elders, period. Because of this, I cannot exactly blame Sasuke for not returning often, since this village betrayed him first, and yet, for decades on end, he has to live in shame of his own heritage, despite the fact that most of them DIDN'T EVEN AWAKEN THE SHARINGAN, MAKING THEM INNOCENT CIVILIAN CASUALTIES, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
It hurts way more with Sakura, because, it's like, even with Sarada being born, this isn't peace. This is yet another facade to undermine Sasuke's suffering, and I frankly find this disgusting. And don't get me wrong, Team 7 bears no blame here. I am not putting the blame on the characters here, by the way, I am having all my eyes focused on the writers, who just did a major cop-out here, and just made everything so fancy and pretentious, just to hide the fact: They stopped giving a damn with the Boruto continuity, they weren't even trying to make it consistent with the previous lore and characters.
For a more detailed rant, feel free to check this small post of mine, where I go over the most important reasons as to why I think, Kishimoto and Ikemoto completely disrespected Sasuke's entire character and arc:
Seriously. FUCK. THE. BORUTO CONTINUITY.
I can only repeat it.
FUCK. OFF. BORUTO.
Louder.
FUCK. RIGHT. OFF.
Peace.
Sakura doesn’t deserve neither one of them as friends.
I’m crying because Sakura is the only one being dejected by her own husband
Meanwhile this is most of THEIR daily lives.
And you know what the IRONY is?
Sakura probably STILL looks down on THEM because “they don’t have Sasuke”.
She probably STILL thinks Sai is a Sasuke look alike and that Ino settled for him.
She probably STILL thinks Naruto is an annoying loudmouth fool that somehow got Hinata to fall for him.
It’s sad that Sakura thinks she’s got the prize even though Sasuke doesn’t even want to hold her hand without Sarada in the middle.
I mean look at this:
Can Sakura even do this without Sasuke running away from her?
Does Sasuke EVER touch HER?
#sasusaku#pro sasuke uchiha#pro sasusaku#team 7#fuck off boruto#anti naruto ending#anti boruto#naruto series#naruto#pro sakura haruno#pro sakura uchiha#naruto fandom#rant post#vent post
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Osamu Dazai and the Depressing Era
#I have so many thoughts through my mind these days I was barely able to focus on the episode. I kept zoning out#I made barely any post#Okay some thoughts. The thing that really hit me since the first time watching b/sd... Is the–#“I don't kill people because I want to write about lives” “I start doing good because my friend asked me to”#Like I get grey morals and everything but also. Sorry for being so simplistic but I think everyone should do good / not kill people–#because killing people is bad lol. No because of other personal reasons#I really *really* feel b/sd ultimately has a very nihilistic approach to life.#And that when Oda said “You won't find a reason to live whether side you're on. Both sides are the same.” it's not Oda-character talking–#but it's really the author expressing their own worldview through the one character that's the most distinguished#They really think there's no difference between good and bad in their little nihilistic world.#Which is something I personally don't agree with.#“It is a given that everything that is worth wanting will be lost the moment I obtain it”#......... No it's not you just need to go to the shore and listen to the waves crush and the seagulls squeal dude. It's going to be okay.#That's why it's so easy to portray Dazai as perfect and flawless for the author btw.#Because nothing he ever did in the pm was wrong if “good” and “bad” don't mean anything to begin with.#And this is coming from a deeply relativist person. But I believe even grey morals have a limit.#Thus my general disagreement with most b/sd themes#I don't know why I went off this tangent btw I didn't intend to.#I suppose it bears repeating once in a while where I stand compared to the b/sd themes and my personal interpretation of them#(Even though I acknowledge most people don't agree with such interpretation... )#There were other things regarding the episode I needed to say but I forgot...#One of them was that season 2 Dark Era proves that even amv openings can actually be good if you put enough budget in them#Which makes me even more pissed at the season 3 / season 5 ops#random rambles
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Ranveer being the most malewife ever and trying to warn us about the danger of Deepika showing up on screen looking like that before Besharam Rang released. he gets it
#film: pathaan#pathaan#ranveer singh#deepika padukone#bollywood#local gay watches Bollywood.txt#not going to shut up about this for the next three months until i see it myself so bear with me here#anyway this is bc i just read an article where he mentioned Deepika filming for Pathaan in a video and it's bisexual talk hands down#he's like 'oh she's shooting in Spain rn for YRF with king SRK and sexy sexy John Abraham'#'she was telling me you need to look at John’s body. i told her 'yeah baby i know. he’s got one hot bod on him''#sir???#proceeds to then gush about her look in Besharam Rang by saying he got an early preview and she is f*cking gorgeous#and none of us will be able to survive this bc 'aag lag jayegi screen pe' aka 'the screen will be on fire'#again i repeat: sir???#do i need to keep saying that we're sharing at this point or have i said it enough to be understood
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today at work i had to listen to my coworkers talk about how they're still feeling so sick and how they've never been so tired in their life after pretending covid is just a cold the other day and then later they started talking about how intensely they hate homeless people as if that's a normal way to act. also (separately) i got bitched at for not operating the washing machine at seamless maximum efficiency. dude i don't even get any benefits besides potentially discounted veterinary services
#well i think i get accrued sick leave or whatever but at the rate of like. barely anything per hour of my life largely wasted#it's insane and evil how people talk about homeless people around here i mean i know that's not just a problem here obviously but they#literally act like Those Crackheads are the root of every problem in our towns it makes me so angry. get over yourself#and for no reason like nobody did anything to the person who was saying this she just had to witness somebody with a pipe. that's it#idk i'm personally acutely aware of how little difference there is between me and any guy on the sidewalk and some people have been lucky#enough to umm lose that perspective#i also do drugs and make weird mental illness noises and motions the only difference is i have a door to keep it mostly behind#and i only have a door because i was lucky enough to have family who could lend me a significant amount of money when i had none and friends#who helped in other ways. idk even if none of that was the case i think it's deranged and deeply cruel to talk that way about random people#who haven't even done anything to you besides exist#cruel and stupid. and myopic#did you have to see a homeless man 😢 maybe even someone doing drugs in public 😰 get the fuck over yourself#ik i said that already but it bears repeating. get the fuck over it asshole#me
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Well, I can't refuse an excuse to indulge lmao. Some of these explanations will have to remain very brief/vague in an attempt to tiptoe around spoilers, but I'll say as much as I can!
Honorary mention to Killers Walk which won't make it onto this list with an explanation because you know I just put it on here for sillies.
Be prepared for this to get pretty long!
(Don't Fear) the Reaper
This one's obvious, but I do want to mention that the change of parentheses placement was purposeful. (Don't) Fear the Reaper as in do, as in you should, as in you have every reason to fear them, but that "(don't)" is meant to imply a whisper from the reapers themselves. A plead. Please don't be scared of me.
One Way or Another
Also pretty obvious, but this one especially made it on to the playlist because I am struck with visions of an animatic of Sun going ham with his axe/knife on the counselors, montage style, every time it plays. It's just so fitting to how giddy and enthusiastic he is when getting his hands dirty. Then there's the final chorus, "One way, or another, I'm gonna lose ya, I'm gonna give you the slip, I'm gonna trick ya," which will be especially relevant in these coming chapters.
Wolf Boy
The first appearance of a modern song! I normally like to keep my au playlists to the era they take place in (take the Dead Mall Dare playlist, for example), but I had to break that habit for this au because there were just too many songs that fit too well to pass up. This being one of them!
The lyrics feel play a play-by-play of the experience thus far. Y/N has many bones to pick with them (murder being just the start), and they would give anything to just forget about this whole event and go back to how their life was before, but it's never that easy. I think "I ain't gonna play the same" touches on Y/N's refusal to look the other way. They had an opportunity to save themselves if they only played along, but they're playing another game entirely, and they don't intend to lose.
"Wolf boy" itself is undeniably clear (I mean, I literally made a Wolf Among Sheep reference last chapter), especially with the line about a puppy becoming a beast. They've seen how Sun switches on a dime, the way he puts his amicability up on the shelf like a prop, and now that you've made your decision, it's your head on the platter.
"Can you dig what I found?" reminds of moments where they first started putting the puzzle pieces together, and most especially when they discovered Jenn's drivers license. They won't be left alone anymore because they can no longer be trusted not to stick their nose where it doesn't belong.
"You think you're some tough stuff, I hope you're happy now," said after three of their friends have now been put to the blade, one way or another. They still don't understand why Sun enjoys their suffering so much, why it makes him happy to see them panic, and with how smug he's been about it all it's really starting to piss Y/N off. There's only so much empathy one can share with a serial killer before it becomes motive.
"If you're gonna huff and puff, I gotta save this town" because they've finally reached their breaking point, and they're prepared to drive the wolf out of town if they have to do it all on their own.
My favorite part about this song is how the vibe of the final chorus changes — and how sudden the change is. To me, this is the musical version of the moment the Final Girl decides it's time to fight back.
Shout
This one, to me, feels like a one-sided conversation between Sun and Y/N. "These are the things I can do without" being his implications of what he is willing to risk, and what he is willing to lose to get the job done. Because he has nothing left to lose, and that makes for a very dangerous person.
"I hope we live to tell the tale" The fish metaphor. The fish metaphor. You understand. "And when you've taken down your guard, if I could change your mind, I'd really love to break your heart" It bears repeating that he is still convinced he can change your mind, and you'll one day see his side of things. He would love nothing more than to wrap things up here and then live out the rest of your lives together as besties. But both of you know that's not going to happen.
Eyes Without a Face
The first song mentioned in the fic! (Actually, the only song actually mentioned in the fic so far. I gotta remedy that.)
"I'm all out of hope, one more bad dream could bring a fall."
"I spent so much time believing all the lies to keep the dream alive"
"Now all I can do is love what was once so alive and new, but it's gone from your eyes. I'd better realize." What can I say except that this guy is depressed and delusional. I hope you pick up on the themes of this one on your own because I keep trying to come up with ways to articulate why this one is important but I just look like a guy with his theory board and red string. Please tell me you understand. please. please. plea
Hungry Like a Wolf
This one is just for funsies. Something something Wolf and Rabbit dynamic. "Strut on a line, it's discord and rhyme" something something he be flipping on that dime again. You get it.
Private Eyes and Somebody's Watching Me
I'm not explaining this one. They're both about stalking and seeing through each other's facades it's not that deep (it is).
Psycho Killer
Come on man.
Dead Man's Party
Oingo Boingo beloved. This one is one of those songs that is a mix of Vibe and Lyrics. Sun would kill somebody to this. It's just bouncy enough to match his vibe perfectly. The lyrics themselves are pretty obvious:
"I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. Walkin' with a dead man over my shoulder"
"Waiting for an invitation to arrive, goin' to a party where no one's still alive"
"Don't run away, it's only me"
There's more to it of course but alas, spoilers. You'll figure it out.
Dancing With Myself
If DFtR au were a movie this would be on the soundtrack, and yeah, Sun would kill someone to this one too. It makes me think about the times they've made their own company with the forest animals after being made outcasts, and especially when he extends an offer for you to join him— but, ah, that hasn't happened yet, has it?
Personal Jesus
What can I say except that this guy is too smug for his own good, and that kind of self assured vanity can only bring further tragedy. Sun and Moon are convinced that what they're doing is righteous, that it is justified retribution, that they are the heroes of this story. And Sun is personally going to do everything he can to convince you of that.
Bigmouth Strikes Again
"Sweetness, I was only joking when I said I'd like to smash every tooth in your head"
"Sweetness, I was only joking when I said By rights you should be bludgeoned in your bed"
"Now I know how Joan of Arc felt, as the flames rose to her Roman nose and her Walkman started to melt."
This guy is not joking. And his martyr complex is showing.
Tear You Apart
I pointedly look away from the camera. Anyway—
Y'all Want a Single
This one is so self indulgent. I just like to imagine Sun beating the shit out of somebody to this song I'm so sorry. This is the song where he stops playing with his food and just goes balls to the walls.
Who is She
Hey, I drew that vhs poster to this song!
There's just something so eerie about the vibe of this one, and I really enjoy the mental picture it draws of Sun and Moon's opinion of Y/N; how conflicted he is about their presence, how intriguing they are, how their antics are equally exciting and frustrating. This song is about them losing you. You, who they never had to begin with.
#4, Portrait of Mr. Boogie, AHS 1984, The Quarry
Skipping ahead on the list a bit so I can save the best songs for last. These four songs are nothing but atmosphere music for me. They don't personally relate to the story in any way (I mean, they're instrumental, so yknow), and are just songs that I keep on the playlist because I've repeatedly written scenes to them.
#4, specifically, was played while writing out the discovery of Chet's body (for real this time), and I'd like to think it's the song that would play during that scene were this a true slasher film, too.
Run Rabbit Run
Yeah yeah rabbit is in the title. Yeah yeah Moon made reference to this very song in his rhymed threat about a hunter coming for a trapped rabbit. But also this song is immediately relevant to the next chapter :) and I can't say more than that.
Now we're getting into heavy spoiler territory. These next three songs will be kept purposefully vague, but I hope you'll remember them when the time comes that all of it is laid bare.
Disenchanted
This song is about the tragedy. The tragedy that befell the campgrounds, yes, but more so about the tragedy that Sun and Moon endured as a result.
"Well I was there on the day They sold the cause for the queen And when the lights all went out We watched our lives on the screen I hate the ending myself But it started with an alright scene"
"It was the roar of the crowd That gave me heartache to sing It was a lie when they smiled And said, you won't feel a thing And as we ran from the cops We laughed so hard it would sting"
Sun and Moon were never given a chance to prevent this. They were always doomed from the start. When tragedy struck, they could only stand back and watch as decisions were made for them, as their very life was tossed around in conversation like it meant nothing. So they took matters into their own hands, and decided to flip the script.
The outcome has been miserable, but the beginning — their life before that point — was wonderful. It was home.
There's more that has to do with the lyrics further down, but you'll have to wait for the explanation on that until more has been revealed.
Dead Come Talking
Ohhh this one gets me Emotional every time. I can't say too much about it because this song and the one after it are both entirely about Sun and Moon's personal hardships, of which have not yet been properly addressed or revealed in the fic. I will say that the haunting they've forced upon the counselors is a shared experience, something they've personally been enduring for years, already. Sun and Moon are haunted by their past, by their grief, and in that way they themselves are the ghosts haunting the campgrounds.
Spring Break 1899
This is it. This is the most important song on the playlist. This is the song that plays at the end of Act 3. The song that plays when Sun takes in all that he's done, when the carnage sits before him and he's made to face every wrongdoing, every decision and path that has brought him to this point, and come to terms with whether or not he still wants to continue. Whether he has the strength to continue. This is the song that plays when he makes one final choice.
Echoes
The aftermath.
Do you perhaps... have a playlist for dftr?
As a matter of fact, I do 😌
It's a little on the short side at 2 hours because I am very specific with what songs get put on my au playlists, but that means each and every song has been picked with purpose (and I'm still adding more every day).
Also — you're right on the money with that song choice, anon. I don't want to spoil anything, but let's just say it'll soon be very relevant.
#DFtR au#please know that as we get into these next final chapters#you're going to start seeing them named after these songs#and you will learn what the song is referring to#and when that time comes I hope you'll be crying along with me
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Well... Banner thoughts
1. Black Knight/Zelgius is absolutely perfect. I laughed at his “accosted by children” line and also just love that he’s CHRISTMAS-themed.
2. Dorothea...
Ok look... I very very very VERY rarely use this word because it’s either misused as all hell, or people are making an exaggeration over it.
But... I genuinely think IS is being sexist with Dorothea. In a way that’s so hurtfully ironic to her character. I hate using the word “sexist” because she’s NOT REAL, I get that, but like I honestly don’t know how else to go about it. Dorothea hasn’t even been included as a base alt in this game; She’s so far had the most alts out of any character without actually being in the game. And that’s not a BAD thing. But... Look at all her alts: Summer swimsuit alt, Plegian alt with skimpy clothing, and now her Christmas alt with a SUPER low-cut top and fishnet stockings. Like wasn’t the whole point of Dorothea’s character that she was seen as a low-class nobody who only gained value for her voice and her body? And all IS keeps doing is giving her more sexy alts BEFORE EVEN GIVING HER A BASE UNIT IN THE GAME?
And ok, let me absolutely clarify: These are just lines at the end of the day. It’s just a drawing. In the long run, I don’t give a shit and it doesn’t affect me. But in the short run... Fuck, I wish they’d be a little more balanced and less blatant with who their fan-service is for. Oh, also STOP MAKING THE THREE HOUSES UNITS MANDATORY ADDITIONS TO THE CHRISTMAS BANNER.
3. Annette. Sweetie, darling, love of my life, honey, I love you. I really do. You are precious to me.
... But you are also a Three Houses character and the fact that both you AND Dorothea are on this banner means that you’re killing the banner diversity.
(I still love you though, puddin’ ;w; )
4. Cordelia and Selena.
HRGHHHHHH.... Really mixed on this one.
On the one hand, it’s... really weird that they’re going “Haha look, it’s a Harmonic Hero” when no. It’s not. Shuddup. Also hell, could they not have made Selena the main unit? This is her “first” alt in the game (but really no it isn’t, the Easter alt is), and they decided to make Cordelia ANOTHER alt primarily. Also right on the heels of her Fates alt being added? Really? So now we have Regular Cordelia, Bridal Cordelia, Summer Cordelia, Resplendent Cordelia, Caeldori, and finally this Christmas one. Yaaaay.
But on the other hand, it’s sweet that Cordelia and Severa are finally in a Duo Heroes together. So I’ll let it slide.
5. Bruno.
Augh... I haven’t seen the art yet but Bruno is slowly stepping into Dorothea’s territory, just in the male version of it. IS, please just give us Bruno as a Legendary Hero for the next banner. Please don’t make him like Dorothea where all we’re getting is man-tiddy. Like... Do as much fan-service as you want AFTER their base unit gets added, but consider adding him first. Also maybe do the cool thing you did with Conrad where his mask is off when you check his profile.
Actually, I kind of hope he has his mask off for this banner.
All in all, I honestly hate to say it but this Christmas banner is a pass for me. I might try to free Summon for Black Knight but that’s it.
#Fire Emblem Heroes#FEH#IT BEARS REPEATING BUT AGAIN LET ME CLARIFY: I KNOW THESE CHARACTERS ARE NOT REAL PEOPLE#I STILL FEEL AT THE END OF THE DAY THAT THIS FAN-SERVICE IS HARMLESS#But like... from the standpoint of a writer: How fucked is it that you have this character who struggles with her beauty sometimes#Because that's all she's seen for; to the point where her OWN FATHER tried seducing her without knowing who she was#And the company just decides 'Yeah let's keep making sexy alts for her before we even include her base form'#Like shit dude even though I whine about units getting their millionth alts I honestly don't actually care; THEY at least have been included#They could have fixed this if back during the 3Hopes banner they picked Dorothea instead of giving Hilda another alt
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minecraft is such a good game
#i know it doesnt bear repeating but just#damn#im also just excited to get my c418 vinyls of volume alpha and beta#nothing makes me want to sit in nature and think pensively about my past quite like mice on venus#i miss you so much#or maybe the idea of you#or maybe what we had when things were okay#everything will be okay because it has to be
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Chapter 17: Somewhere, somewhen.
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“Hey Hywel, this isn’t your first time on a ship, is it?” Phoenix shouted across the deck as she walked over.
“What makes you think that?”
“There’s nothing left to do, the sails are all secured, our heading has been correct the last four times I checked it, which it wouldn’t stay right if someone wasn’t fixing it, and I just checked a spot on the rigging that’s been giving me some trouble, and I think I just learned a new knot.” “And it certainly wasn’t Orwen.”
“Well, I just wanted to be helpful, yáll have done a lot letting me ride with you.”
“Is it the demon?” “Does the demon know stuff about sailing?”
“Yeah, Dere wants me to become friends with you guys.”
“Aren’t demons supposed to be evil?”
“Self-interest on his part” Hywel laughed “the hope is that I become so attached to you that I can’t sacrifice myself for the greater good.”
“Is sacrificing yourself just, like, part of the plan?”
“Yeah, pretty much.” “The thing in Core is, well, it’s really big and powerful, when I fight it, I probably won’t survive.”
“Then, like, maybe don’t fight it?”
“Hm, were that it was so simple.”
“But it is.” “You dying fighting something you can’t kill does no one any good.”
He shrugged “what does the world lose but one more monster.”
“You keep calling yourself that, you know that’s not true, right.”
“You don’t know what I did.”
“What did you do?”
“This power that I have, it cost lives, as many as a hundred people died, probably a lot more because of the war getting worse.” “I signed up with the Seekers because I wanted to help people, but in the end… that conviction failed.”
“They were going to kill you, weren’t they?” “To try to get rid of Dere?”
“How do you know that?”
“My, uh, mother, such as she is, tried to get me to do something like that. It didn’t go well.”
“That’s awful.”
“Do you want to hear a story?”
Hywel gestured for her to begin.
______________________________________________________________
“So, the whole, uh, fiasco? that comprises most of my life started the day I turned seven, actually a little before that.” “My mother left our family to go back to her military career when I was 6, right after my big sister came down with consumption, I think she couldn’t bear to watch that. My father, I think he got sick a little afterward, but he hid it, he taught me a lot of things that year, things you need to know to survive on your own, and a few weeks before I turned seven he was on his deathbed and he gave me this knife, and his necklace. He told me the necklace was for remembering, and the knife was for surviving. I did not think I’d actually have to use it.”
“I was then an orphan, but my best friend at the time, Seria, her family was kind enough to let me stay with them. So, one day, my birthday, we were walking home from school, and these big jerkass boys who like to bully us come along, they did this most days, usually it just meant calling us names and stuff.”
“The biggest guy comes up and straight out pushes me, and says something like, ‘oh, that’s what smells, its that shitty harelip comin’ through here’, so I say ‘no, its actually you, horseshit for brains. Oh, sorry, that’s an insult to horseshit.’”
Hywel was taken aback, “What?”
“Seven-year-old Phoenix was a riot.”
“But anyway, they push us around for a hot minute till I get tired of putting up with it and punch him in the gut.” “At this point you are to be reminded that I was a seven-year-old girl, and not a very big one, and my punches were not very strong.” “This guy calls me something I will not repeat and pulls a knife on me.” “It is at this point that his friends run off, presumably to have plausible deniability, and Seria backs away.” “He runs at me, and misses me with three consecutive slashes, long enough for me to draw my knife and hit him in the arm, causing him to drop his knife. I don’t remember what happened very well from then on, but he kept trying to hit me, so I kept stabbing him, like thirty-seven times.”
“So now I’ve killed an eight-year-old boy in the middle of the street.”
“I have one question for you. Am I a monster?”
“No, it was self-defense, obviously not.”
“He didn’t have to die.”
“Maybe not, but that’s not on you.”
“We are not different.” “What you did is not what defines you, it’s how you choose to live with it.” “And I recommend choosing to live, its so much better that way.” “That part of you that wants to believe you’re a monster, you have to ignore it, you can’t live like that.”
“I don’t know how else to live.”
She shrugged “You’ll find a way, eventually. I can’t speak to how long it takes, I’m not sure I’ve found yet.”
______________________________________________________________
“Potatoes, rice, beans, cabbage.” Persephone waved at Orwen. “You paying attention?” “If Phoenix comes in here before we’re done it will ruin the surprise.”
“Oh,” Orwen told himself to focus, and he quickly got the requested ingredients. “I’m sorry, I’m just distracted.”
“It’s Phoenix. You still have to turn her in.” “Chop these potatoes, thin circles please.”
“Yeah.” “But she trusts me, you all do.”
“I mean, not that much.”
“You think that in the end I’ll ‘do the right thing.’” “Here’s those potatoes.” “I won’t, you know, yáll are just making my job easier.”
“Practically easier.” “Obviously we’re introducing some extra cognitive difficulty.”
“I mean, it shouldn’t.” “This has been the plan the whole time. Anything I did to help you guys was a ploy, part of the strategy.”
“You’re a big fan of lying to yourself.” “Can you dice this onion? Real fine please.”
“I’m not lying to myself, I will bring Phoenix in, even if you all feel like it’s a betrayal.”
“Oh, I believe that. It’s just that there have been opportunities that you’ve passed up for the loyalty that you don’t have.” “You’ll probably do it, but you’ll feel bad about it.”
“No, I won’t, I’ll be welcomed back as a hero.”
“And the praise of your peers will give you the satisfaction you seek?”
“Onions.”
“Thanks dear, carrots next.” “You see, I’d be willing to bet that when you go back, you’ll have a lot of people congratulating you on a mission well done, but you’ll be left with the knowledge that any of them would have left you in Ser.” “That is to say, no one who really cares about you.”
“You don’t know me. Here’s those carrots.”
“I got beets coming out of the oven in a sec.” “Deep down, all you really want is to be with a group of people who care about you.” “But you’re convinced that no such group exists, so you go for the next best thing, mass approval.”
“That’s dumb, I don’t need to prove anything to anyone but myself.”
“I’ve heard that line before.”
“Really, from who?”
“Me.” “You’re doing everything you can to get some abstract end goal where you will have proven yourself.” “It’s like pulling on a rope with no end. You wear yourself out until your fingers are raw, but you get no closer to the end.”
“Well, then I’m not pulling it, I’m climbing it. How do you let go of a rope and not plunge into the abyss?”
“I picked up a stranger who wants nothing more than to imprison my friend, I’m on what will probably be a fruitless journey to save someone who doesn’t even care about their own life, and I’m fricking peeling apples to surprise someone who is a much better chef than me.” “Do you think I dropped the rope?”
“Who are you to judge me then?”
���No one, we all have different struggles, I just hope for Phoenix’s sake that you figure out yours.”
______________________________________________________________
@brokendarkfairyempressforever
@hijabi-flavored-nerd
@betanian117
Just to clarify, Phoenix's backstory is maybe a tad over-blown from a tragedy perspective, but like, go watch Hero Academia or One Piece or smth, its an anime trope I promise, I'm not inflicting trauma on young girls for realism purposes (though I also don't think its necessarily unrealistic sadly.)
New post for the Phoenix Story:
Up to chapter 12:
CW for some Suicidal Ideation, General Angst, Mild Body horror, and as of now, one instance of the f-word.
Chapter 1: A Beautiful Night
______________________________________________________________
Phoenix finally relaxed.
As she watched the moon slide over the sun, she relished in the fact that she was now, truly, wonderfully alone. Alone, more than anyone else had probably been in a long, long time. There are, of course, ways to be alone not requiring physical distance, and ways of being together that overcome any distance. But it had been a decade since Phoenix had truly experienced togetherness in any of those ways, and the physical isolation was as absolute as she could imagine it. There was no one within 30 miles of where she sat, on an island that no one knew existed on the edge of where life in the sky had penetrated. No one could get there, the navigational skills required were immense and rare, even in such far-flung places as this.
By all rights, trying to get to Phoenix in that moment would be like trying to contact the spirits of the dead.
It was good to be alone, for it was only in this isolation, which, she imagined, would be for some soul-crushing, that she was finally safe. For the first time in a long time, a decade, exactly in fact (she had felt her 17th birthday as she stepped onto the island,) she was safe. At that thought, a wave of, not happiness, but certainly peace washed over her.
She knew it wouldn’t last, in two hours her first scar would twinge, and that would bring back memories of the worst time in her life. And she couldn’t sustain the aloneness, if only for purely practical reasons. But she would enjoy it for now.
She looked up and saw that the moon had finished its arc, leaving only the corona of the sun visible. As the night songbirds started to sing, Phoenix went to find a place to sleep for the first night in a new chapter of her life.
And what a beautiful night it would be.
______________________________________________________________
It was of course a beautiful night, but Orwen didn’t see much of it, despite his perch on the roof of the headquarters of The Hunters. He did not admire the beauty of the stars or the reflection of the ring of fire in the lake, but rather stared into a handheld mirror, running a finger along his scar.
The scar should have been a thing of beauty, it was a perfect Hunter’s Mark, a thin but bright slash from the inside of his left eye to the right corner of his mouth. By conventional wisdom, he should have been grateful, the mark was only supposed to fall on the greatest hunters.
But to him, it only reminded him of his greatest failure. Six months tomorrow. Six months since he had fought the hardest fight of his life. Six months since the first time he thought he might die. Six months since he’d fought and killed the greatest of the Seekers, but that had not been what gave him the scar.
He was the Nitehawk, the greatest hunter of all time, but a lowlife thief had not only beaten him, she’d marked him.
“You mean nothing,” he told himself he was talking to the scar, “until I find her.”
He was not there in the morning.
______________________________________________________________
“Not so fast Dere! I can see you.”
As the figure ran along the wall, Hywel knocked an arrow.
“Not leaving on my watch!”
He let the arrow fly. It didn’t strike the figure, but it didn’t need to, because Hywel quickly Stepped, and was up on the wall, arrow gripped in his right hand. His left was soon gripping the figure’s coat, which slowly shifted back into its more natural catlike form.
“Would you believe I was just out for a walk? It’s a very nice night!” Dere exclaimed.
“No, I don’t believe the words of demons, especially not ones who I catch escaping.” Dere was always unpleasant to deal with. “And now of all times we can’t afford to give you an inch. Not with Scout dead.” Their leader had been killed 6 months prior, and morale had been severely sapped since. The Seekers, and by extension the Alliance of the Sky, had been losing ground fast ever since. They’d already lost control of Nerestar and Dorsinli.
Hywel wasn’t worried they’d lose the war anytime soon, but it didn’t look good for his chances of ever leaving this post.
As Hywel carried the wretched thing inside, it displayed an array of strategies to avoid its inevitable return to imprisonment. First it pretended to be cute and demure, then it scratched futilely at Hywel’s thick gloves, screaming obscenities that hadn’t been heard by mortal ears in centuries, then it whispered in his ears with that terrible voice, promises of power and wealth. Lies, of course, though, weighed against the prospect of spending the next decade on post guarding the creature, Hywel had to admit to being tempted.
______________________________________________________________ Chapter 2: A wonderful morning.
Other than blackberries, the island seemed to be almost completely empty. It would be a lot of work to make the place habitable long term, and that would have to include several trips to somewhere habited. But a few trips to get some chickens and sheep and then Phoenix could probably stay here for a long time. Eventually, she would have to build a house, but she didn’t know where she’d get the materials for such a project.
Its kind of ironic, I guess. To make my fortress of solitude, I have to go to people.
I can wait a while though.
She worked to clear a patch out from the blackberries – fire made quick work of the bushes – more so to distract herself than anything else. She didn’t want to think about… well anything really, because everything would eventually trail back to the fact that she had to go to town. Town, where she might encounter someone who knew her and if she found someone who knew her there, that was the only way she could die.
Why do I always think about death?
Its irrational, no one will be there, because no one knows I’m here, that’s why I came here in the first place.
But in the back of her mind, a picture would not cease to form.
I hate you, Karol. She thought as she clapped her hands, burning away another blackberry bush.
______________________________________________________________
Orwen was known for being fast, but right now he was mostly just frustrated. He had tracked slippery prey before, but Phoenix Alkaryl was one of a kind. Six months of searching had seemed only to deepen her cover, and he could still only narrow her location to about a quarter of The Sky, a pitiful performance by any Hunter, let alone The Nitehawk.
Doesn’t matter how long it takes. I will find her.
He was pouring over a map (the mirror laid just north of Levias) as he sat on the 11:45 ferry from Nerestar and Dorsinli, a convenient service which, 6 months ago, he couldn’t have used. He was glad the Free Cities were winning the war, if for no other reason than it made his job easier. Phoenix couldn’t be anywhere in Alliance territory, ever since he had killed Scout of the Seekers, the Alliance had closed their borders to all travel, Phoenix was supposed to be a good navigator, but no one got past Alliance gusters.
If she’s this far off the map, she probably wanted to disappear. So, she probably went outward.
As he left the boat, he caught a glimpse of something he’d never seen before in an alley. A tall woman, wearing golden chainmail, one side of her face, covered in burns, with three of her limbs replaced with prosthetics. Their eyes met, and she smiled with one half of her face. A Valkyrie, they were all supposed to be on the Levian front. He tried to walk quickly away, but as he turned a corner, he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Excuse me, you are the Nitehawk, yes? You’re looking for a girl named Phoenix, right? The one who gave you The Mark?”
“Indeed.”
“I know where to find her.”
______________________________________________________________
Guarding Dere was hell, and Hywel had been booked for a full week of it. In a way, you could understand its plight, Hywel didn’t like to be cooped up either and Dere had been locked away for 150 years. But in every other way, well, the thing was pure evil. You could feel it, just standing near it, malice almost seemed to radiate off of the beast, and if you met its eyes, you saw nothing but two pools of absolute emptiness, not just nothing themselves, but threating to make you nothing as well. And its smile was dreadful, you knew it was happy with itself, and when you saw it smiling, you couldn’t even hate it, the hate would drain away before you could replenish it. All you could feel was nothing.
And then there was its voice. It didn’t make any sound, you heard it in your head. It didn’t say anything of any consequence, but it seemed to know everything about you. Or sometimes it would say the most utterly outrageous things, but that was the trouble, after a while of hearing, you sometimes wouldn’t know the difference.
It was evil. In its most concentrated and loathsome form. Precisely what the Seekers were out to eradicate. Or at least that’s what they said. In the last couple of years, they seemed to mostly be fighting in the war. Capturing and killing things like Dere was precisely what Hywel had signed up for. Though the job mostly consisted of long guarding of the one that had already been captured.
Sometimes I hate this job.
You know, if you’d be willing to make a deal, I could give you the power to do all the things you want. Just think of how much better the world could be if you had that power.
I always hate you.
It was going to be a long week.
______________________________________________________________
Chapter 3: A Long Week.
______________________________________________________________
Hyla really didn’t constitute a city. But it was enough. Big enough that she could buy chickens and sheep. Big enough that her nerves would never rest. She was only there for a few hours, but her heart pounded the entire time. Her nerves acted up around any large group of people, but they were worse this week than ever. She was constantly reminded by her scars. This week one decade prior had given her so many. A particularly large one panged on her chest as she arrived back on the island, she’d killed the bear, but not before taking a swipe.
Desperate for distraction, she started planting vegetables, with any luck, she’d get some potatoes before winter hit. Then it wouldn’t be as bad as that first winter she’d weathered. She worked furiously, and the potatoes were all planted within an hour, she’d thought it would take till nightfall.
Ok, we’ll start building shelter then.
She dug out a pit, which she preceded to thatch over with blackberries, a task that, blessedly, took her the rest of the week. It was not a complete respite from her thoughts and memories, but it provided some comfort. It wasn’t ideal, but it was critically big enough for all three of her new sheep. They wouldn’t do well outside with how cold outer ring winters could get. Even with her magic, Phoenix had not relished the idea of spending a winter without shelter.
______________________________________________________________ I probably shouldn’t trust her. The Valkyries were a very secretive organization, not known for good faith offerings of assistance. But I can’t just let her go.
“Where?”
“The city of Asera.” Asera made as much sense as anywhere else, a Free City on the outer ring with enough people to disappear into, but not enough that you would definitely get caught.
“Why do the Valkyries know that?”
“Alkaryl is of special importance to us, whenever she is spotted, we’re the first to know.” A little suspect that the Valkyries have more of a stake than the Hunters, but all right.
“And why tell me?”
“You ask a lot of questions.” She raised her eyebrow.
“Well, sorry if you don’t look like a particularly reliable source.”
“It’s her time to die.”
“Thank you for the information.” Orwen turned to go.
“You misunderstand, I am to accompany you.” Fine by him, passing up the help of one of the most feared fighters in the Sky would only hurt his mission.
“All right, we leave at once then.”
She shook her head “I have a few matters to attend to beforehand. Meet me by the northern gate.”
Orwen tried to dispel his suspicions about the Valkyrie. His instincts were usually right, but he hadn’t slept in a while, and her story made sense, he needed her help to find Phoenix. But something still just wouldn’t sit right. He’d have to tough it out, for the mission.
Traveling with Sharon was not pleasant, she seemed to be all business, and was pushing Orwen to go faster, despite the fact that he was travelling with almost three times the normal weight. Her face apparently never moved, and she refused to engage in any conversation that wasn’t complaining about how long Orwen’s Speed took to recharge (despite the fact that they were on track to cover two thousand miles in a week.) But thankfully, Orwen’s suspicions subsided, though that might have been more because he was collapsing into bed at the end of each day.
But, after all this time, he was finally moving forward with his mission.
______________________________________________________________
Hywel emerged from his Hell on the fifth day, after 4 sleepless nights in a row, facing two more, when respite finally came.
“Hywel, you have been summoned to the Chamber.”
“Thank you, and I’m sorry you have to deal with this thing now.” Hywel gestured to Dere fatalistically.
“They’re coming with us.”
“What?”
The other seeker shrugged, unlocked the cage, and slipped Dere into some kind of collar “I don’t know, I was just told to get both of you.”
Hywel was led to the doors of the Chamber and then was left with Dere’s leash.
The doors into the Chamber felt especially heavy on Hywel’s tired hands as he pushed them open. He had been here many times before, but now of all times, it felt imposing. Dere’s whispers had not stopped.
The Chamber was laden with the scent of old parchment paper and dead spells. It was deafeningly silent, except for a scribe scribbling minutes of the previous engagement, probably an execution, given the somber looks of the Council. They sat on a raised platform, overlooking the whole room, there were seven of them, and all of their choices were final.
“Hywel Sutherland. Seeker Honorable.”
“I sir.” Hywel snapped to attention.
“Do you know why you have been summoned?”
“I was not informed, sir.” He looked up, the center councilmember was the one speaking, Garrel Satia, Killer of a Thousand foes. A garish title, but Hywel was in the presence of legends.
“A great time has come upon us. For just yesterday a method has been discovered to eliminate the Demon of which you now hold the leash from this world.” Oh, this’ll be good, how do they think they’ll get rid of me this time… Dere’s voice echoed, Dere caught his eye, They try to do this at least once a year, don’t worry, it won’t work, but you might die anyway…
As if to confirm the cat’s words, another councilmember spoke, Latise SeBorno. “And we are fortunate to have such a dedicated seeker as yourself at this time, for the ritual is not without sacrifice.”
“You, Hywel Sutherland, Seeker Honorable, have been chosen for this purpose.” This is what they always do, sacrifice loyal subjects for a chance at killing the only thing they fear. By the way, my offer still stands, but this is one of your last times to take it. The last guy didn’t and they let the Nitehawk kill him.
“What kind of sacrifice does the ritual entail?” Hywel asked.
“If all goes well, it will leave you exhausted for days” Made up, killing a demon would drain anyone for years… “If the worst occurs, you may have to give your life.” You see?
A third councilmember spoke up. “It is for this purpose that you have been tested, to prove your loyalty before we asked this of you.” You’ve been guarding my cell for five days, I thought they discovered it yesterday?
“And what if I refuse?” In response to this question, all seven of them stood up.
“THE COUNCIL HAS CHOSEN; ALL OF THEIR CHOICES ARE FINAL.”
Is it too late yet Dere?
Fortunately for you, it’s never too late to make a deal!
Ok, I accept. His mind raced, but there was no time to think about this decision. Everything went black.
______________________________________________________________
It opens its eyes.
______________________________________________________________
Chapter Four: A first eventful hour.
______________________________________________________________
Two Levians were sitting at the bar. Phoenix studied them as she sipped on her drink, tea. She’d had to come into town to stock up on food, as winter had started early. Almost a month earlier than it should have. She’d been forced to come inside or be outside in a winter storm. So, she sat in the safest seat in the tavern, a lonely table with a view of the entire space and surveyed the Levians.
She knew they were from Levias for a number of reasons. The first was that they were loud, she could listen to their conversation from across the room. The second was the woman’s jade earrings, unusual for this region. They had matching upper arm tattoos of a snake eating its own tail, which probably meant that they worked for the Levian government directly.
These were highly unusual people to be here, but they didn’t seem like bounty hunters. If this hadn't been a very small town, she might have pegged them as tourists. They weren’t wearing rings, so probably not a married couple. They seemed like good friends though, which made Phoenix jealous, though she didn’t really think much of it. She took out her necklace, a piece of wood, polished so smooth that it could have been mistaken for a gemstone. It was a gift from her father, he’d given it to her after her sister died, he was already sick and said he didn’t think he’d last much longer. He died that night.
“Hey, I really love your necklace.” Phoenix had drifted into her own thoughts and was stunned to see that the Levians had come over to her table. It was the girl who had given her the compliment.
“Oh, oh, oh, umm, Thanks? I guess.” She stammered.
“Sorry if I intruded, you were looking kind of sad, and then I saw that we have the same necklace.” The woman pulled out a necklace which was, in fact, almost identical to Phoenix’s.
“Wow, uh, yeah, its cool.” Not to mention impossible, her father had never been to Levias. “How?”
“What do you mean “how”?”
“I mean, this necklace was given to me by my father, who had never been to Levias.”
“Well, then he got it from someone else, because that’s the only place they’re made.”
“Weird.”
“You look like you have a lot of stories you could tell.” The large man commented.
The woman shot him a look. “I’m sorry about Flynn, he means well but doesn’t understand social cues sometimes. We’ll leave you alone now.”
“He’s not wrong, you can take a seat if you want.” She gestured to the empty chairs. “I’m Phoenix by the way.”
______________________________________________________________
Sharon shook Orwen in the middle of the night.
He was awake.
He was running.
He didn’t know what he was running from.
“Get down.”
They both dove.
He thought they had both dove.
His hands were tied behind his back.
I probably shouldn’t trust her. Orwen’s own thoughts came back to him as he was struck on the head.
He woke up in a dark room, hands shackled to a wall.
I failed.
No, I cannot fail, I’ll escape this.
These are Valkyries, there is no escaping this.
I’m the freaking Nitehawk, I’ll find a way.
His thoughts were muddled but quick, probably a concussion. He surveyed his surroundings as his eyes adjusted. He couldn’t make much out.
Fuck this. He stomped at the ground angrily.
The cell was small and cramped, with thick iron bars, the shackles were tight enough to cut into his wrists. No way to escape unless he was let out, no way they’d be stupid enough to do that.
I will escape, I have to. He let out a scream of frustration. But this is going to set me so far back.
______________________________________________________________
Hywel woke up with a pounding headache and a feeling like dread. But not for the future, but for the past.
Yeah, the first time does that to you. There’s water on the table behind you, drink all of it. You’ll die if you don’t drink and eat enough, and neither of us want that yet. Dere’s voice in his head. But all he could think about was water.
He found the jug and downed the entire thing. But when he looked up, he took a step back in shock.
The scene before him was horror.
He could recognize the walls of the Seeker complex, but the buildings had been leveled. Everything had been stained pitch black, like the aftermath of a wildfire, though Hywel knew this had been much, much worse.
And its my fault.
His entire world started spinning. He felt dizzy. This was his choice. Everyone was dead. It was his fault. His whole life was gone. He chose this. He must have known the deal wouldn’t end well. Everything he stood for, gone in a moment.
Am I the bad guy now?
�� This one question consumed his entire world as he collapsed back onto the ground.
______________________________________________________________
Chapter Five: A second eventful hour.
______________________________________________________________
The woman had introduced herself as Persephone, and the large man was Flynn. They had plenty of stories of their own to tell, apparently it had been a while since they’d left Levias, and they’d gotten in no small share of trouble since.
“And then less than an hour after we get rid of the dragon, what do we see, but a pirate flag. Luckily, our ship has wards for cannon fire, but these are pirates with trained dragons we’re talking about.” Flynn was busily recounting the story.
“So obviously, we just hightail it out of there, we actually used the wind jar we got from the cyclops incident here, because, come on, pirates with dragons.” Persephone interjected to finish the story.
“Skull and crossbones with wings? On a background somewhere between yellow and green?” Phoenix thought she knew the pirates in question.
“Exactly.”
“Well then, that’ll be Jorge Redbeard. Kinda a nasty guy, I hear it’s not even his natural beard color. I got captured by them once, not for very long, but I did see around the ship.” Phoenix leaned in. “Dragon droppings absolutely everywhere.”
“Hilarious.”
There was a pause in the conversation, but Phoenix didn’t want to stop talking.
“So, what actually brings you all this way from Levias?”
They looked at each other awkwardly, as if sharing a secret conversation through just their eyes, before Persephone apparently decided this was information that could be divulged.
“It’s complicated, but the short version is that Flynn is suffering from a terrible disease. We’re looking for a cure.” The levity drained from Persephone’s face as she said this.
“Oh”
Flynn waved a hand dismissively “Don’t worry about me, I won’t die… at least not soon, I just can’t go back until I’m cured.” He acted like it was the most reasonable reaction in the world.
“Where are you going?”
“It’s a small village, named Ser, there’s a healer there, supposed to be the best.” Persephone was apprehensive.
“I know him, and he is the best.”
“How?”
“It used to be my home.”
______________________________________________________________
It wasn’t long before someone came to get Orwen. She unlocked the shackles but kept her hand tight on his wrist. Pushing him roughly forward. He didn’t struggle, there wouldn’t be much point yet, he’d been trained for situations like this, he had to follow that training.
He was led into a large room lit by torches, with a big round table in the middle, surrounded by Valkyries, he could recognize Sharon across the table from him. He was sat down into a chair, and his hands were locked into another set of shackles.
“Good job people. We caught him.” The Valkyrie in charge spoke to the others. “The Nitehawk, right in our trap.”
“You just gonna keep gloating?” Orwen was practiced in keeping a calm demeanor.
“You’re in no position to talk, you fell for it.”
“I mean, it was a good plan, and lucky timing, you wouldn’t normally be able to do that.”
“You’re just bitter.”
“Are you ever gonna tell me why I’m here?”
The goal was annoyance was keeping the idea that he was completely trapped. This was, of course, not true, these shackles were much looser, he could dislocate his thumbs and slide them right off. But that wouldn’t do him much good right now, surrounded and unarmed, he had to buy time.
“Why so impatient? It’s not like you’ve got anywhere to go.”
Orwen smiled. “Actually, you are detaining me from an important mission for the Hunters.” The training was working, and he’d just found his way out, an outward facing window, thirty feet up, not ideal, but workable.
“Well, if you must know.”
Monologuing? His respect for the Valkyries was dwindling by the second. The woman in charge was describing gruesome torture methods, but she was putting the implements on the table, about 3 feet in front of him. She had better get fired for such a lapse in judgement. Not that anyone less skilled than Orwen would be able to escape. Then it happened. The guard change, all six subordinate Valkyries filed out of the room through the opposite door, the new ones coming in only a second afterward, but a second was all he needed.
“I’m really embarrassed for you here.” Orwen said before using Perfection.
Everything started to move in slow motion. Then his hands were free, then the lead Valkyrie was hit over the head with a large set of thumbscrews. Then he grabbed a spear and vaulted, landing on a ledge 10 feet up. Just 20 more to go, he’d practiced the next move many times. He dashed to the corner, and then using his Speed, ran up the wall, catching the edge of the window and pulling himself up and over onto the other side. He didn’t have any speed left, but he didn’t need it. There was a direct line of sight from here to a dock with a small gondola. He stopped using Perfection, he didn’t need it anymore.
Clean escape, that’s what they’d trained him for.
Hywel woke up a second time, but this time, he just stared at the sky.
I can’t be. I spent my whole life dreaming of fighting… what I am now?
You’ll destroy yourself thinking like that, believe me I know.
So, what do I do.
Distract yourself, anything, I recommend getting off this island and getting us some food.
I can’t just distract myself from the revelation that I am now everything I know to be wrong.
What do you think demons have been doing all this time?
It wasn’t a bad point, so Hywel went looking for a boat, whatever he was gonna do, he needed to get off this island.
______________________________________________________________
Chapter 6: Godspeed.
______________________________________________________________
It was decided that Phoenix would accompany Persephone and Flynn to Ser. It was a dangerous choice, Persephone and Flynn were still not much better than strangers, but Phoenix didn’t think that she could let them leave without her, during their conversation, something had stirred within her that she hadn’t felt in a long time, and now that she remembered it, it would be impossible to forget anytime soon.
It was dumb, of course. She didn’t like it. She’d made the same mistake with Karol, and that had left her with a knife between her shoulder blades.
But this felt different.
Of course it did, this time she would take precautions. She wouldn’t let herself get too attached, and she’d remain ready to escape at a moment’s notice. She wouldn’t be trapped.
Persephone and Flynn’s ship was massive, with three masts and several decks. The fact that they had been able to sail it with no extra crew meant that it almost certainly also had magic. It was truly a beautiful thing. And it was fast. Multiple times the top speed of Phoenix’s little gondola. They had enough space to pen up Phoenix’s animals, and within a day of the end of the storm, they had left for Ser, though, even with such a marvelous ship, traveling a hundred miles in outer ring winter would be nigh impossible without masterful navigation skills. Which was probably the only reason why she’d been invited along.
______________________________________________________________
Three days and nights in a small gondola adrift in the clouds. Orwen preferred running to boating, but he was competent enough in an emergency, which this definitely constituted. Even though he’d escaped, he’d be hunted down if he wasn’t careful. That’s what had gotten him into this mess in the first place, carelessness, he hadn’t followed his training, he’d been too focused on that one thing that he’d gotten sloppy. He couldn’t afford to get sloppy. He needed to focus on everything all at once. He’d need to do this perfectly to have any chance at completing the mission.
He finally arrived at his destination. He had no reason to believe that Phoenix was in Asera, but he did have a contact here that might be able to help. He’d been to Asera before, so he knew his way around, but between constantly checking to see if he was being followed and the fog that had been slowly encroaching on more and more of his waking hours due to lost hours of sleep, he missed turns constantly, and actually getting to his destination took him almost two hours.
Three knocks on the door, pause, repeat, pause, repeat.
The door was opened, and he was welcomed into a cozy little house with a fire roaring and a meal already cooking. He did not enter but stood in the doorway.
“You look like absolute crap.”
“Feel like it too.” Orwen longed to collapse into the guest bed, Bolson always kept it ready. “But I don’t have much time, I gotta get going soon.”
“Chasing Phoenix still?” “You ought to stay and rest a little, you can’t bring her in in this condition.”
“You forget who you’re talking to.”
“All right, all right. You’re in luck, we just got word about her.”
“Really, where?”
“Our person trailing the crown prince of Levias saw her leave with them.”
“So, she’ll be in Ser, and soon.” “That’s a ways away. I better get going. Thanks.”
Orwen turned to leave.
“Hey, remember not to run too fast, you’re gonna run yourself to death at this rate.”
______________________________________________________________
Hywel had never been very good with boats, but he didn’t know where he was going anyway, so it didn’t matter that he went slowly.
Where do I go?
Big island, on the horizon, there’s houses, there’ll be food.
I know, but after that where? I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
Just focus on now, get food, eat it, then you can think about where to go next.
Do you ever think about anything other than food?
I think of lots of things that I want.
Ok, but anything other than what you want right now?
No, what else would I think about?
I don’t know. The future, the past, the people around you and what they need. Right and wrong.
That’s complicated. I prefer food.
I guess that makes sense. What did the Seekers call you things? Holes in the universe.
And the very manifestations of hunger and lust, yes, you get it, I eat, and then I go find other things to eat.
Hywel would not be finding any answers to his problems from Dere, but of course, it wasn’t like he could keep his thoughts to himself, he didn’t know exactly what had happened, but Dere was somehow… a part of him now.
That’s why you’re evil, I guess. You can’t really be anything else. Unsatisfiable hunger never really helped anyone.
It helped you.
At what cost though? Is it even worth it? Considering that my life cost that of others?
This is why I focus on food. Anyway, we’re here.
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Chapter 7: A Sight in the Distance.
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Phoenix looked out from the crow’s nest of the ship across the sea of clouds. She didn’t have to be up here, it was a calm day, and the ship could essentially sail itself. She could have been down on the deck, where Persephone and Flynn were talking. She could be a part of that conversation.
But she was anxious. She worried about whether this was really a good choice. Her instincts told her that getting too close to these people would end poorly. Like with Karol, and Seria. Her instincts had kept her alive this long.
And yet…
Another part of her longed to descend.
Persephone looked up at the crow’s nest. Phoenix hadn’t come down in a while, she didn’t even think she’d gotten lunch. She was debating whether it would be better to bring her some food, or if she probably needed to be left alone.
“You should go check on her.”
“And have to climb all that way?”
“You could always fly up, I really don’t understand the point of hiding that stuff from her, she seems trustworthy, it’s not like she’s gonna do anything bad to us.”
“Remember that we’re taking precautions for you. You are way too important to risk like that.”
“Ok, but we both know you’re gonna check on her. It’s your arms that have to haul you up there.”
“You could probably throw me.”
“Is that not more suspicious?”
“I don’t know.” Persephone left to get some sandwiches.
“You climbed all that way just to bring me sandwiches?”
“Indeed, but mostly to check how you’re doing. You’ve been up here for a long time.”
“Yeah.”
Phoenix picked up a sandwich off the plate and started eating.
“You like being alone?”
“I don’t know if I’d say that.”
“Then it’s probably just comfortable. You’ve been alone for a long time.”
“Definitely that.” She took another bite.
“And going back to Ser is dredging some stuff up.”
“Going back to your home does that.”
“It’s not my home, hasn’t been for a long time.”
“I hear that. I could say the same for where I was born.” Persephone stared wistfully “I assume there’s no family waiting for you?”
Phoenix shook her head. “I’ve been an orphan since I was 6.” “These sandwiches are really good.”
Persephone could tell she didn’t want to talk about it. “Thanks, I make my own mustard.”
Phoenix saw the island of Ser in the distance.
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Orwen ran.
The path he was taking had been built recently, to help move supplies for the war effort. Warpaths were always good for him; they took away the requirement for ferries.
He was using every once of Speed he got, and walking in between uses. This wasn’t the healthiest way to do it, but it was the fastest. He could rest when he’d found her.
He slept as little as possible. He needed regular sleep, or his Speed wouldn’t work, but he had to keep going. He was so close he could taste it. Several times he’d thought he’d seen Valkyries in the bushes. He didn’t know if he’d know if they were real.
He was so tired.
But he had to keep running.
Run.
Run.
Run
Run.
Run.
Run.
Run.
Fight.
They were on him.
He stabbed.
They died; he’d hit his mark.
Run.
Run
Run.
Run
Run.
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Hywel ate. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was. He must have eaten every last crumb they had to offer.
I guess having a demon inside you probably does that. Ok, I ate, now what do I do?
Probably sleep.
You’re no help.
Hey, I just say what I’m feeling.
Hywel just started walking. He didn’t know what he was looking for, but he hoped he’d know it when he found it.
Possession seemed to have its merits. Even though he was constantly hungry and sleepy, he didn’t seem to need food or sleep to survive, or at least, he was able to walk without stopping or sleeping for 5 days straight, so that seemed to be the takeaway.
He finally stopped only when he saw it. The front line of the war. A burning mass of shattered, quickly constructed defenses. They had recently lost a battle. He didn’t know which side they were, and though he might have cared sometime earlier in his life, he couldn’t care less now. All he saw were the dragons.
You aren’t supposed to use dragons as weapons. In captivity they’re killing machines, and if they get loose, they cause immense amounts of damage, indiscriminately, but in the wild they are gentle giants, and rarely have negative encounters with anything other than sheep.
The fact that there was a village this close to the front line was a tragedy enough. But there was a village, and dragons. Hywel had no more thoughts.
It took seconds, or it seemed like seconds, for Hywel to get between the village and the dragons. He had climbed onto the tallest building in town. And he had his bow at the ready already. As soon as the closest beast was within range, the arrow fired, and then Hywel was on the dragon’s back. He didn’t know what he was doing, the power seemed to flow from instinct, not thought, the beast’s throat was torn out and he had leaped to another one.
It was less than a minute before he landed, standing on top of the last dragon’s corpse, in the center of the village. The villagers didn’t cheer. They had been saved. But not by a hero, but by what was, to the vision of everyone, a monster.
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It stirs in its nest, looking out over the city.
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Chapter 8: Continuance.
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Ser was not like Phoenix remembered. It was a warzone; a battle had broken out recently nearby. Keeping track of the front lines was an impossible task these days. Phoenix hesitated, Flynn and Persephone did not.
They were immediately in the streets, telling people to get out, to go to their ship if there was nowhere else. Several houses had been hit by projectiles from the battle. Flynn quickly went to work getting people out of them.
The Firethrower. That’s why the battle was here. Most towns didn’t have one, sole control over one made it almost impossible to attack you, but this town had little value outside of it. Phoenix was running, through the town, through the crowds of people. It was the major threat to the city, but it could be easily neutralized. Until she got to the battle scene.
This is insane. That didn’t stop her. She threw herself into the mass of soldiers. She was adept at moving through crowds, and she wasn’t wearing the colors that would indicate to either side that she was an enemy. So, it didn’t take her nearly as long as it should have. She didn’t know why she was doing it. She wouldn’t normally risk herself like that. But there wasn’t time to think about that right now.
The weapon was made of wood, it was trivial to set it alight with her power, though, given its size, it took a while to really start burning. She was outside the crowd of combatants before they started to realize what had happened. Both sides of the battle started retreating quickly, but as she looked back she saw sizeable groups of soldiers peeling off to follow her.
Drat. She sprinted away as hard as she could. Some of them had horses, she wouldn’t be able to outrun them, but maybe she could get back to the ship before they thought to cut her off. The town looked to have been evacuated successfully. There was a throng of people on the dock. And Flynn and Persephone were… running toward her?
“What are you doing?”
“Coming to help you!” Flynn roared.
“If you didn’t notice, there’s a full army, get to the ship.”
“We can’t lead them that way, there’s innocent bystanders.” Persephone said.
“We can’t exactly fight here.”
“Watch us.”
Phoenix stopped as she got to them and turned around to face the oncoming army. It was a hundred to three.
“You’re gonna like this one.” Persephone smiled as she threw off her cloak, revealing a pair of sparkling butterfly wings, which started to flap, as she shrunk within seconds to the size of a squirrel.
She flew straight towards the oncoming throng, reaching a fast speed before – Phoenix couldn’t believe her eyes – she grew not only to her original size, but fifteen times the size. Digging large furrows into the ground where she landed, and probably more importantly, scaring the horses, and some of the people too.
“That buys us some time.” Flynn was right. They were chaos now. But it wasn’t over, as a few dozen foot soldiers were still running towards them. “It’s big and flashy, but she can’t maintain that size for very long, she expends enough of her power just staying human sized all the time.” “I don’t suppose you are good at one versus many fighting?”
“Not really, requires touch.” She held up her hands to indicate she was talking about her powers.
“Ah, well. I’m sure Persephone will understand that this was necessary. Probably be able to scare these guys off pretty easily.” He turned towards the oncoming soldiers; they were only about 60 cubits away now. He looked towards the sky, and his body started to change.
Phoenix knew what they were trying to cure now. Ursanthropy.
Faced with a twelve-foot tall werebear, the soldiers turned tail.
That was intense. That was insane. Why did I do that?
Persephone and Flynn were returning to their normal selves as they walked back.
They didn’t hesitate. I guess I was just following them.
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There was a point that Orwen got to where he couldn’t feel exhaustion anymore. He couldn’t feel anything anymore. All that was left was determination. He was so close, within mere hours, his mission would be complete.
There was nothing left to think about but what he would do when he finally saw her face. As he sat eating his dinner – the last dinner before he got to her – he looked into his little mirror (for some reason the Valkyries hadn’t taken it.)
Soon, it’ll all be worth it.
He thought of what he’d say to her. What would be a suitable ending line for this, the greatest chase of his life.
Phoenix Alkaryl, fleet of foot and strong of spirit. I am Orwen Desinor, the Nitehawk, master hunter. You have fled me for too long, but now it is time for this to come to an end.
He pressed forward, less than a mile left to go.
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Hywel ate and killed. It was all he could bring himself to do. There was a lot to kill in this part of The Sky, word of him quickly spread, he left quite the impression on those who saw him. He came to understand that people thought of him like a monster, that was how he saw himself, but they knew that if they pointed him in the direction of something evil, he would kill it, it was the only way he clung to the semblance of sanity he had left. He was able to convince himself that even if he was a monster, he could make himself a useful one.
And Dere was happy to oblige this behavior.
He caught a reflection of himself in a pool of water. A sunken face, despite all of the food he gorged himself on, he was emaciated. He was taller than he had been (now almost seven feet), but horribly thin, his skin (grey, or purple, or red, or yellow depending on where you looked) hung off of him in most places, as if it was made for a much larger man. His joints hung loose, constantly either horribly stiff or horrifyingly flexible.
It reminded him of why he was doing what he was doing. He wanted to die, but he couldn't justify doing it in any other way. And so he ripped and tore through the other monsters in these islands, he didn’t know where he was anymore, but he didn’t care.
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Chapter 9: Face to Face.
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Qualos wasn’t there. He had died months before, not from the war, but of consumption, the same thing that had killed Phoenix’s father and sister years before. There had been an outbreak, leading to the deaths of dozens of people. There wasn’t anyone left who cared about Phoenix’s exile. Which should have been a relief, it was convenient for her. But she couldn’t be happy about death.
The damage from the battle wasn’t huge, all things considered, only a few people were injured, and the people who lived in the destroyed houses found other places to stay, at least for the time being. But there was quite a bit to do, and it was almost an hour after the fighting had stopped before Flynn and Persephone approached Phoenix again.
“So, I’m guessing you have questions?”
“Not really, I think the fact that you’re a fairy with growth powers and Flynn is a Werebear is evident enough.”
“That’s not exactly it though.”
“Hmm.”
“Flynn is also the crown prince of Levias.”
“Nice.” Phoenix smiled. She wasn’t especially surprised, the giant fairy thing had kind of prepared her for anything. “Ok, so we got a disgraced prince in exile until he can find a cure for his Ursanthropy, and his guardian slash best friend, the two-inch-tall fairy who pretends to be a human but can also be the size of a giant. Anything else?”
“That’s essentially it.” “None of that is surprising you?”
“I’ve had a weird life. Traveling thief isn’t a career for the faint of heart. And honestly, that’s a pretty logical explanation for two Levians with a massive, fancy ship traveling alone to a tiny village at the edge of The Sky.”
“So where do we go now?” Flynn asked. “I mean, this is a dead end.”
“For a cure for Ursanthropy?” “The only other possibility is Core.” “That’s a long way though. We need to leave as soon as possible.” Phoenix started towards the ship, she didn’t really want to spend any more time here than necessary, there was no closure here anymore to the pain this town had caused her.
“Is there nothing else you want to do while we’re here?” Persephone asked.
“Nope, I told you, this used to be my home.”
“Well, we can’t leave just now, we have to buy some supplies if we’re going on that long of a trip.”
Phoenix settled on wandering around the town for a few hours, she’d be couped inside the ship for long enough soon.
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She was right there. He could see her. The journey was over, there was only one thing left for Orwen to do.
“Phoenix Alkaryl, strong spirited and fleet of foot. I am Orwen Desinor, the Nitehawk. You have fled for a long time, but it is time for this to end. Have you any final words?”
“Orwen! Nice to see you! It’s been a while.” Phoenix turned around. “Nice speech. A few comments. First, my name is Alkaryl, it’s Liventis, Alkaryl was my mother, though you Hunters probably only have us under her name from the military records. Second, you will not be capturing me today.” She held her dagger close. This would be a hard fight. But he would be attempting to take her in alive, which she knew wasn’t his specialty. She clapped her hands as she said “Ok, let’s do this.”
This was a distraction tactic, intimidation like this was a Hunter thing. He ignored her and started channeling Perfection he was low on both of his powers, he needed to get this over quickly. And he only had one knife, so throwing was out. He closed the distance quickly, ducking under her first attack and jabbing into her stomach, before dashing back out of reach.
She was clutching her side where he had stabbed her, but also… smiling? “You’ll have to do better than stabbing old wounds.” Indeed, as she took her hand away from her side, she revealed a charred hole in her shirt, and underneath a large amount of old scar tissue, and the newly cauterized wound.
He dashed back in, he couldn’t sustain Speed or Perfection much longer, he needed to end this now. Her knife was red hot as she took a swing at him. A torso strike wouldn’t do much to her, she was apparently practiced fighting through the pain, maybe if he hit her wrists? He ran out of Speed, he should have saved some up, but he had been in a hurry. He was still able to perfectly parry the knife, knocking it out of her hands. He turned to strike at her body again as he saw his fatal mistake, with no speed left to dodge it. He’d been focused on the knife; he hadn’t looked at her other hand. It landed on his shoulder, red hot. He blacked out from the pain, he barely had time to scream.
He had failed.
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Dere saw fear. Hywel saw justification. Or at least a route to it. It was a horrifying scene. Thankfully Hywel knew it wasn’t happening, yet this was the future.
People screamed. The streets ran red with blood. Hywel didn’t know what was going to cause it, but he thought Dere did. It didn’t matter, he knew he could stop it.
A beast lingered over the bodies of the people it had slain, licking its lips. Hywel almost cheered. This was what he was looking for. If he was to be a monster, if all that he would be able to do was kill, he could kill this thing, he got the sense that it was the biggest monster of all.
It cannot be killed. Dere’s voice was panicked. Do not look for it, you will die.
I think that’s the goal.
No, you cannot kill this, it is not some small beast. Even we fear it.
Well, if demons fear it, then it must be evil. Maybe I can find the justification I’m looking for.
Do you know what happens to me if you die?
You’ve been fine with it until now.
Only because you haven’t been after things that I couldn’t beat. That’s no dragon, that’s… IT.
Well, we better find a way to kill it. Because I’m doing it either way.
Hywel saw where it would happen, Core. And then he thought he saw It look right at him.
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Chapter 10:
______________________________________________________________
“We can’t really do anything else except wait for him to wake up.” Persephone had treated Orwen’s burn. It wouldn’t heal completely, Phoenix had only touched him for a second, but the heat had immediately caused a bright white handprint to form, and parts were brown or almost black. “It’s a pretty bad burn, and I think that he was already pretty exhausted, but he should survive.”
“How long until we’re able to leave?”
Persephone knew what Phoenix meant; she didn’t want to be here when Orwen woke up. “I don’t want to leave him here; this town doesn’t have anyone trained enough to treat him.” “If that gets infected, and no one is here to help him, he’ll die.” “And quick or not, he can’t get himself to the next town.”
Phoenix understood that Persephone didn’t want to be responsible for his death, Phoenix didn’t want to either, especially not in this town, but still... “So, we just take him with us?” “Did you forget he tried to kill me?”
“Yeah, if we’re going to go, we should take him.“ Persephone looked over at where Flynn was “and we need to leave.” She looked at Phoenix “look, I get that you don’t want to travel with him, maybe this is where we leave you.”
Phoenix balked at that, but she didn’t know why. Yeah, that was the most logical answer. But, for some reason…
She shook her head “no, you need me if you’re going to navigate all the way to Core.” She was fighting to stay with these people? She’d fought long and hard to get to where she was, she’d gotten paid already, she should just let them go and go back to her little island. Was she really going to choose traveling with the assassin that had hunted her for months.
Yes, yes, she was. “Look, so long as he’s injured, I don’t think he poses much of a threat. As soon as he can walk though, we drop him off.”
“Absolutely. And we can keep him in a locked room too.” Persephone smiled; she was glad Phoenix wanted to stay with them. “Hey Flynn, come over here, help me get this guy loaded up so we can leave.”
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Orwen didn’t wake up for almost a day, when he did, he was on his stomach on a large, soft bed in the belly of a rocking ship. His entire back ached, but the pain was by far the worst on his left upper back. He tried to get out of bed, but twisting his body only made it much worse.
“I wouldn’t try that” Persephone brought in some food. “your left shoulder sustained some nasty burns.” “We definitely need to keep you in bed for at least a few days.”
“Who are you? Also, where am I?”
“Oh, yeah, that. Well, we couldn’t exactly just leave you in a town with no doctors with that kind of burn. But we really needed to get going. So, we brought you on board.” “I’m Persephone by the way.”
“Do you know where Phoenix went?”
“She’s here too. But I wouldn’t try anything.”
“She’s here!? Why would you let me travel with her?” Orwen was ecstatic, though confused, maybe he hadn’t failed after all.
“The other option was to essentially leave you for dead. No one wanted that.”
Kinda stupid, I would have left her for dead in a heartbeat. But I probably need to pretend to play along for now.
“All right, I assume I’m at least locked in this room though?”
“And your daggers are locked up in a closet on the other side of the ship, yeah, we weren’t gonna take that chance.”
Persephone left, and Orwen started eating his food, he’d be coming up with some sort of plan to complete the mission, but for now, he needed to sleep, his back was killing him.
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Hywel finished climbing the hill. Core was a long way away, so he’d need to pace himself. He’d made good progress; he’d walked nearly 40 miles over the last couple of days. Though, at some point he would have to find a way to increase the pace, he’d probably need to get a ship, he had a sense that what he’d seen would happen in a matter of months, and he needed to travel a lot.
As he knelt beside the pond, he scooped up some water to drink, he hadn’t had a sip in weeks, he didn’t need it. And he looked at his reflection.
It was, better, or at least, less bad. The color was starting to return to parts of his face, and the bags under his eyes had shrunk significantly, he’d slept for the first time in a while. His increased height had not diminished, he still stood almost seven feet tall, compared to his natural 5 foot 4, but he looked significantly less emaciated.
What has happened to me? Is it really newfound purpose, or am I just getting used to being a monster?
Dere remained silent, he suspected he was being given a form of cold shoulder for his choice.
He was still drenched in blood, so he used this opportunity to bathe. His clothes were mostly ruined, and none of them fit well anymore.
I need to get new ones; I’ll need to be some manner of presentable if I expect to be able to get a ride to Core.
His hair had grown ragged, it was long, but it had been falling out in tufts. He was surprised to see that he still he still had his dagger. He cut as much of the hair off as he could, better bald than patchy. He left his beard.
Wait, that’s odd, I couldn’t grow one before.
Sometimes that happens. Dere spoke up for the first time in a while. If your hair comes back, it might come back curly too. Possession does weird things to human bodies.
Oh, I hear you’re speaking up again.
Just here to remind you that if you are doing hygiene, you should trim your nails, they look like claws.
Indeed, they did.
You deciding to be helpful all of a sudden?
Maybe if we get you back in civilized society, I can convince you not to kill yourself.
Not a chance. Hywel smiled as he scrubbed the blood from beneath his fingernails, the first time in at least two months that he had smiled. But I appreciate the sentiment.
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Chapter 11: A long trip
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Phoenix sat on the deck, this area of the sky was calm, which meant slow going, but also not a lot to do as a navigator, so she was sharpening her knife.
“It’s a beautiful thing, glad to see you’re keeping it in good shape.” Flynn sat down beside her.
“It’s broken, it used to be able to fold, it also used to have a wooden handle.” Repetitive heat had fused the tang and the blade together, she’d had to weld additional metal onto it several times to keep it usable, the handle had now been shaped to almost exactly fit her hand.
“Put another way, it’s been shaped into exactly the right shape for its use.” “Weapons designed for magic have to be unique, that’s what makes them beautiful.”
“Every time I use it in battle, I have fix it up again, otherwise the blade warps.”
Flynn nodded “yeah, it’s a lot of work to hone after every fight, but what you get in return is a perfectly natural tool. I’ve seen how you fight; you use that knife like an animal uses claws, I would know.” He balled his hands up into fists.
“How does it feel?” Phoenix asked.
“Being a Werebear?”
“Yeah, that”
“It’s not bad. It’s never been the being so much as the being seen as that’s the problem.” “When I actually transform, all I feel is the power of it, like I can do anything I want to.” “That’s kind of the worst part too, is coming out of it, and not feeling that anymore.”
“Feeling like you can’t actually change anything that matters.”
“Yeah, that”
“And then comes the fear, that you’ll be trapped, and something bad will happen to you.”
“I don’t know about that; I’ve been living on borrowed time for a while. It’s more so feeling that I’m trapping her.”
“Persephone?”
“Yeah, she cares a lot, and she’s determined that I have to survive.”
“You won’t die though.”
“Not from ursanthropy directly, no, but my father, as much as he pretends. Well, we think he’s the one sending people after us. We talk a big game, but we barely survived the last attack, I don’t think we, I, make it all the way to Core.”
“He would do that?” Phoenix was astounded.
“He was willing to when we were back in Levias, said he ‘couldn’t allow exceptions to the rule of law’, even for his own son.” “I think he’s always seen me as less than my brothers, might have just been looking for an excuse.”
“I can’t even imagine that.”
Flynn smiled, trying to cut the gloominess of the conversation “don’t feel too bad, at least I got to grow up as a prince.”
“I mean, that doesn’t make any of that less tragic…”
“I don’t care that much, I’ve just kinda dealt with it.”
“That doesn’t work.”
Flynn raised an eyebrow.
“Running from your feelings I mean.” “Believe me, I’ve tried.”
“I wouldn’t call it that… I’ve just got, thick skin, that’s it.” “It doesn’t get to me.”
“Must be nice.”
“You’ve been running though?”
“Until it catches up with me.”
“And then you fight like a cornered animal.”
“That’s one way to say it.”
“Like, not trying to kill it, just make it go away.”
“I don’t like killing.”
Flynn nodded. “Does anyone really like it?”
“The last time I killed I broke my dagger.”
“That must be a good story.”
Phoenix looked at him seriously, “it was a bear, it almost killed me, gave me this” she pulled her sleeve up to reveal a nasty bite mark on her shoulder “but I killed it. I don’t like killing, so I haven’t killed since, I just run, and when I’m cornered.” “Well, if you don’t want to kill, you have to learn to inflict pain instead.”
“A lot of it.”
“Yeah, that.”
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Orwen lay in bed. The room had no windows, which, on a boat this fancy looking, probably meant it was toward the bottom. The walls were likely to sturdy to have a hope of breaking through, and there was no access to the door lock from this side, so picking wasn’t going to be an option. The only way he would be able to break out would be to jump Persephone when he brought him his food. If he did that, he could probably escape, assuming they didn’t have someone watching for him immediately outside the door.
His wound had healed considerably since he had come aboard the ship, but he strictly speaking still needed more rest. This, combined with his reluctance to assault Persephone, she seemed like such a nice person, led him to conclude that his best chance for completing the mission lay in a more, diplomatic approach. Gain their trust, lead them as close to Hunter headquarters as possible, and then bring Phoenix in at the last possible minute. He probably also wanted to save as much Speed and Perfection as possible. That meant sleep and food, easy enough, whoever was cooking the food was an amazing chef.
“I hope you’re hungry” Persephone walked in, talking in the sweet, almost sing-song tone she usually used with him, “we’ve got something delicious today, Phoenix made Borscht, I hear it’s a family recipe.”
“Does Phoenix normally cook? I’ve been wondering who it was.”
“Ever since we found out she’s absolutely amazing at it, we’ve refused to even touch a pot.”
After he tasted the soup, wonderfully meaty, he said “probably the right call.”
“From what I can tell, she just appreciates having this full of a set of ingredients.” “How’s your shoulder?”
“Much better, thank you. It’s been feeling better every day.”
“Well,” she turned to leave “let me know if you need anything else.”
“Hey, Persephone”
“Yes?”
“Seriously, thanks for doing this for me, most people I know wouldn’t.”
She walked away smiling. Exactly what Orwen needed.
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Hywel ran now. He had avoided crossing the war line before, but he could no longer. But the borders were closed, so there wasn’t an easy way to get across. And what was more troubling was that he had alerted seekers to his location. They had been tracking him down, whatever remnant of the Seekers was left apparently had capturing him as their first priority.
So, he was running, both from half a dozen trained Seekers and a large contingent of soldiers, who had at least a few boats. Thankfully, the wind was low today, so the boats couldn’t outrun his enhanced speed. He would have been captured ages ago if not for a confluence of lucky factors. He would almost definitely be captured soon, he knew where he was, and he had studied this area, Seekers were required to know the general layout of all the land around the war line. This road was old and would run out in less than a mile.
He didn’t want to have to fight them. They didn’t stand a chance, with Dere’s help he could probably have plowed through the entire alliance army, but he wouldn’t be able to avoid killing them, enough people had died needlessly because of him already.
So, he’d have to figure out a way to escape.
There’s the end of the road. Nothing within a thousand feet.
Two thousand feet out, there’s a rock, with a running start I can get you most of the way, and then shoot an arrow.
If I’m even a little short though…
You could always turn around and fight!
No.
He stopped about a dozen feet short of the edge, turned around and surveyed the oncoming army, and then he looked over the edge, nothing. If he fell, he would be falling forever.
I wouldn’t take that risk if I were you, you have choices here. Instead of throwing yourself over the possible suicide gap, you could stand and fight or let yourself get captured and break out later.
Hywel took a deep breath. No, if I want to believe I can be redeemed, there is no choice.
He backed up and took a running start. With Dere’s power, he launched himself across 100 feet, 500 feet, 1000, 1500, he just had to shoot this arrow 250 feet, not the easiest, but he could do it.
He knocked the arrow, drew, and shot. It raced toward that solitary rock…
And missed.
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Chapter 12: Impossibilities
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The wind had picked up, it was howlingly fast, the middle ring was known for wild changes in weather, but this was stronger than Phoenix had seen in a long time.
“If this keeps up, we’ll be in Dorsinli this afternoon.” She had to shout to be heard over the wind.
“Really? It feels like we just left Nerestar.” Flynn shouted back. It had taken three weeks to get from Ser to Nerestar, but only four days to get to where they were. “We’re making good time!”
“Remember that the distance from the middle ring to the inner ring is longer, and from the inner ring to Core, that’s going the feel interminable.”
“That’s not what the map shows.”
“I forget that you haven’t been farther in than the capital of Levias.” “Let me finish tying this up then I’ll come down and explain it.” The sail needed to be secured better, she finished tying the knot and then quickly climbed down the netting.
“Ok, so this is weird for people who were born on the Outer Ring, like us, but I forget that they don’t teach it in Levias, given that it only has territory in the Outer Ring.” “As you get closer to the middle of the map, it gets less accurate.”
“Couldn’t they just draw the map better.”
“No, see, there is no actual middle of the Sky. The radius is infinite.”
�� “How does that work?”
“No one really knows, but if you walk towards where the middle would be, you just find more sky. So, as you get closer to the middle, the map can’t be drawn right, because the circumferences of concentric circles still decrease.”
“That’s not geometrically possible” Flynn looked at Phoenix with a side eye.
“Thus, why the map doesn’t show it. But anyway, what it means is that each ring is significantly smaller around than the outer ones but the chords across them are increasingly long with respect to their circumferences.”
“Wait, wouldn’t that mean that they get to the point where its quicker to go around the circle than across it.” Flynn looked fully confused.
“Indeed, it depends on how far in the middle ring, but in the inner ring, every two points can be reached in less distance by a circular path than a straight one through the inside.”
“Hey Persephone, have you heard this before?” She’d just gotten back from taking Orwen his food.
“What is it?”
“I was just explaining hyperbolic space to Flynn here.”
Persephone’s face scrunched up in disgust. “I’m so glad I don’t have to navigate anymore.”
“Yeah, it only gets worse as you get further in, but it’s that or stay here with the bad weather.” Phoenix had learned the hard way, navigating by yourself out of even the middle ring was insanity.
“Hey Phoenix, Orwen wanted to say something to you.” “I told him you probably wouldn’t come.”
“Can I have Flynn outside the door?”
“Sure, I’ll stand guard.”
“Then there’s not much to worry about.”
______________________________________________________________
Orwen was surprised to see Phoenix come in.
“You came?”
“Yeah, there’s not much reason not to. I don’t have a lot else to do today.”
“I just wanted to say”
“You’ll say you’re sorry, I honestly don’t believe you. And it’s ok by the way. For you to hate me. I’d rather be on a ship with a thousand people who hate me openly than one who pretends to like me.”
Orwen opened his mouth to speak, but Phoenix raised a hand. “And don’t say it was only professional, we both know that’s not true; no one runs themselves that ragged for a job.”
I do sometimes Orwen thought probably too often, but there was no point in trying to convince Phoenix that he was, merely, following orders. “You’re right, it was personal.” “Still is. You have to know I still want to take you in.”
“Yeah, I figured that.”
“So, why’d you agree to travel with me.”
“It’s my principal flaw. I get too attached to people, I can’t leave.” She shrugged “They betray me, or they leave.” She said it in a nonchalant tone. “That’s why I have so many of these.”
“You know I could kill you right now if I wanted.”
“Oh, believe me, I know. But I’m not stupid, I wouldn’t have come if I thought there were a chance of that.” “You have to take me in alive.”
He did indeed.
“Not that alive.”
Phoenix chuckled at that one. “Hey, can you walk yet? I wanna show around the ship.”
“Now why would you do such a thing? I just threatened to kill you.”
“Oh, you’re so serious about the whole assassin thing. Its gonna grind your gears so hard to know you can’t bring me in yet.”
That much was true, it frustrated him to no end, but he wanted a distraction, and this sort of played into his plan. Though, what Phoenix had said about people betraying her got to him a bit. Just a bit. “Yeah, I can walk, let’s see it.”
______________________________________________________________
Hywel was only falling for a minute, but it felt like an eternity, by the time he realized that the first arrow had missed, he had no time to shoot another.
Well, this is how it ends, I guess. At least I’m taking you down with me.
He must have been almost a mile below the island when he felt a firm grip on the back of his shirt.
“Well, thank goodness, you’re a lot lighter than you look.”
He looked up, astonished to see a woman with two giant feathered wings sprouting from her back. She could only be described as radiant, quite literally seeming to glow, as if something within her could not be contained, and was struggling to be free.
She managed to drag him all the way up to the rock he had been aiming for. They could see the soldiers gathering at the end of the path.
“Ah, don’t worry about them, we’re almost past the border already, they won’t chase us any farther.” “I’m Karol by the way.”
“Hywel” “How, how did you find me?”
“If you didn’t notice, everyone on this side of the Sky has been following you for almost a month. I’ve been tailing you for a while, to make sure you don’t do anything stupid, like taking a plunge into the Void.” “Hey, I’d love to chat later, but we need to get going, they won’t follow us across the border, but we have about 1000 feet left.”
They traveled a pretty good distance, the rocks were close enough now that Hywel could jump between them.
“Sorry if this is offensive” Hywel started talking almost as soon as they had stopped “but what’s with the wings?”
“A recent thing, possession works weirdly.”
“Wait, you have a demon too?”
She raised an eyebrow “you don’t know much about how this stuff, do you?”
“Not a demon, then?”
She shook her head “no, demons are spirits of emptiness. Mine is a devil, a spirit of fullness, of bursting and limitless possibility.”
You’ve been awfully silent about this whole affair Dere.
Demons and Devils don’t mix. We kill each other.
“That seems infinitely preferable to mine.”
“Oh, it is, I wouldn’t have hunted down a demon.”
“You mean, you actually wanted to be possessed?”
“It’s a marvelous power, I wanted to be strong, so I could help people, I failed before.” “I think you’re the same, we both want to cleanse the world of its evil. That’s why I followed you.”
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@brokendarkfairyempressforever
@hijabi-flavored-nerd
I fixed a few things. Its almost 13 thousand words now, by far the longest thing I've ever written, and getting close to the halfway point plot-wise, which means that technically this will probably end up at Novella length (Its already 30 pages in the Word document I'm writing in).
Actually, I'm gonna tag some of my other mutuals as well, I won't tag you again though unless you want to...
@queenpiranhadon
@nervousscissorsgoopthing
@betanian117
@justalunaticfangirl
@shrxe
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