#i know very well how to use line weight and stuff i just prefer my usual thin anime style

[kekisu]

[cregansdingdong]

ᴍᴇʀᴄʏ.

Cregan Stark x fem!reader | no use of y/n | warnings: NSFW, porn without plot, m!receiving oral, very sloppy blowjob good stuff, starts off slow but then there's some face-fucking, swearing, one *tiny* face smack (its not bad i promise), he’s gonna come in her throat for giving him attitude; yeah the gif is the perfect representation for this tbh

Hot stuff under the cut. 18+ only. I'm not responsible for the content you choose to consume. ty.

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“What was I supposed to do then? Refuse the Lord Commander?” Cregan raises a brow, head tilted up at the ceiling as his wife stood there in front of his desk, hands on her hips. “I didn’t say that, Cregan. He could’ve waited a moment rather than storm into breakfast. And for what? To report a runaway from Castle Black? He could’ve sent a raven and saved himself all the trouble. I think he just wanted a small getaway.” He barks out a laugh at her accusation. “And I think you’re spoiled. My spoiled little wife who does not like having my attention taken away.”

“And so what if I don’t?” She huffs, lips morphing into a scowl. “Especially not during meal times—you’re a busy man and breakfast is Cregan time, not Lord Stark. My time with my husband. Lord Commander Markus surely was exhausted from his journey—but the entire thing was needlessly frantic. You are not a dog he may call on the moment he prefers it.” Cregan, since the day they'd married, had been a fairly patient man. She had a southern temper, which he had to learn how to douse and maintain just as she did. That's not to say his wife wasn't capable of controlling herself—she merely didn't care how she spoke to him.

His glance is lined with warning, but she either didn't catch it or ignored it completely. He guesses the latter. “Those sorts of matters are my responsibility. Deserters must be punished by my hand, wife. That is the way of the North, which you know well by now. Refrain from comparisons.” Neither of them were backing down. “Of course that is the only thing you take away from what I'm saying.” She scoffs. “My comparison is correct. When he calls, you bark. When he arrives, you heel. Are you his Warden Wolf or his pup? Because I'm not sure I can tell the difference any—”

“Get on your knees.”

“...what?” The surprise on her face would be etched into his memory forever. “On your knees. I won’t tell you again, wife.” His voice was low in the quiet of the room; daunting, even. “Right here.” Cregan scoots his chair back from the desk, thighs spread, gray eyes unblinking as he waits. She debated walking away, but she knew better. He watched as she took a few meager steps around his desk, the hem of her gown slowly gathering on the floor. Maybe she'd pushed him too far this time. “I think you've forgotten yourself—who's wife you are.” He squeezes her chin in his large hand, pleased by her soft sound of protest. “Yes, you have.” He grunts, stopping the words from leaving her mouth. “And now, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you—when I tell you. Do you understand?”

He seemed fairly satisfied with her little nod. “Good, pup. Unlace my breeches.” His wife reaches out to fumble with the ties after only a moment, his hand releasing the grip on her flushed face. She tugs the laces with a fervor, feeling him harden under her fingertips. It didn’t take much, honestly. He murmurs something she doesn’t catch as she gently wriggles him out of the confines of his breeches, brows furrowed in concentration. “You don’t deserve my cock in your mouth yet. Kiss only. Use your tongue if you have such a lack of self-restraint. You’re good at that.” The jab was directed and shot, but the weight of him in her hand had her head spinning too fast to say anything smart in return. Her lips meet his tip with a quiet, pleased hum, her tongue dipping into the crease where his precum dribbled. 

Cregan’s reaction was immediate. “Like that…” He sighs, head tilting back, just savoring the relief. Fire thrummed in her stomach. She kisses down the underside of his cock, ignoring the tickle of the dark hair at the base of him as it brushed against her jaw.

His arms were slack on the rests, fingers twitching with every small suction of her lips on him. Kiss by kiss, he hardens fully under her hands, and lines of swears erupt from his throat like mantras. “In your mouth now, pup.” He looks down at her with hooded eyes, looking like he was trying not to smile but failing anyway. To be fair, it was Cregan. The slight quirk of his lips was upturned enough to count. She situates herself a little further between his thick thighs, resting her elbows down midway as her palms lay over his. And then she took him into her mouth.

“Fuck..” He groans, something low and sinful that brought her butterflies. It was quite the sight to see the Warden of the North melt so easily by a tongue. He wasn’t like most men sometimes—usually. This, though. He certainly was. Not much longer before he’d forget what she said to him in the first place. The thought drove her to sink deeper on him, barely able to go halfway but that was already enough to get his tip in the far end of her mouth. He curses more—although entirely unintelligible this time—and his hands lift, presumably to tangle themselves in her hair. But they don’t make it there. She might’ve been trapped there on the floor between his legs, but that didn’t mean he was going to get all that he wanted. Her nails dig hard into the back of his hands, close to the wrists, and keep them firmly planted against the armrests.

He hisses momentarily in surprise. With his thick skin, it was more likely his ego was more hurt than his hands. She bobs her head with a vengeance of her own, and he slumps in the chair with a growl, thoroughly annoyed to be held back. “I’m going…to give you…five seconds...wife. Release me.” Her nails dig harder in response, pinching the skin hard enough for him to react. Cregan’s thighs tense more under her elbows. She counted down in her mind as she was sure he was doing in his. It was absolutely worth a bit of punishment. Saliva coated his cock, the drool slithering down the underside of it enough to make it sound even more lewd. He loved it when she abandoned her manners. “Wife.” He warns again. What happened to never repeating yourself twice, husband? The thought would’ve made her laugh if it weren’t for his cock.

He bucks his hips toward her throat—on purpose, obviously—and the force of it surprises her entirely, gagging in the slightest as she loses her grip on him. His hands are snatched from under her ruthless nails, and although out of view as he clutched her cheeks together, she didn’t fail to catch the pinkish skin around the moon-shaped indentations. They would certainly leave a mark tomorrow. Cregan pushes her back from his cock, seething, and his dark eyes never leave her face. His fingers dig into her cheeks unconsciously before letting go—and as quick as they go, a warning smack makes her face turn to the side. It didn’t hurt, by any means, but it sent a thrill right down between her thighs. “If you ever hold my hands back again, I’ll fuck you so full of my seed that all of Winterfell will hear your pathetic little mewls for me to stop. Do you understand me, pup? Answer me.”

“I understand.” She relents, eyes darting from his face to his red cock, the beat of her heart following every throb of the pretty veins. His eyes narrowed at her, not entirely trusting but he’d gotten his point across. “Make me come, wife.” She didn’t need him to say another word, her lips instantly wrapping around his tip to pick up where she left off. This time, she kept her hands planted on his thighs, breathing harshly through her nose as she took more and more of his cock. Her fists clenched around his breeches tightly, her gaze flicking up at him. He was watching, panting, the last of his restraint hanging by a thread. Cregan never lasted very long in her mouth, not that either of them thought he needed to. “To the base.” He mutters, holding off the urge to fuck her throat. He wanted to see if she could do it herself first.

His wife does her best attempt three-fourths of the way—close enough for the tip of her nose to brush against the coarse hair. The feeling nearly brought him to the edge anyway, close to falling off entirely. His grunts were louder, less composed. He was getting desperate. He reaches out to grip her hair, his own strands drooping down into his line of sight. “I’m gonna come—hold your breath for me.” She does. He doesn’t waste a moment, cupping her face gently, thumbs soothing the skin of her cheeks as he starts to buck up into her mouth like he was rabid. The sound of his tip sliding almost into her throat was enough to do it. Cregan was snarling now, fucking her face with purpose as the come dribbled down her tongue and mouth. “Good girl! Good fucking girl! Taking me so well!”

Eventually, he slowed, spent and breathing heavily as she recuperated through long inhales and exhales through her nose. She was still sucking on him though, eager for every drop. Leaned back in his chair, limp like a rag doll, Cregan gave her one of his sweet, lazy smiles. “...Told you not to compare.”

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[justmeinadaze]

Hi! I have this really REALLY angsty request that if you don’t want to do it okay, but since you’ve posted things with a similar theme I thought maybe you could write it.

So it’s similar to the pop star!reader x bodyguard!steddie, but this is just regular them Ig? So reader overdoses with some of Eddie’s stuff, and when the boys arrive, Eddie kinda gets flashbacks from when his mom overdosed. I’m just really a craver for angst, hurt, comfort fics

Thank you so much! I love your stuff!!🤍🤍

Steddie Asks/ Ko-Fi <3

Warning: Dark themes of drugs and overdosing, all three discuss an incident where the reader overdoses

The table is silent as you and your boyfriends pick at the food they had purchased after bringing you home from the hospital. Having grown accustomed to the balanced meal they provided, you were struggling to fully get through the heavy pasta in front of you. 

You hated this; the weighted energy that hung in the air. 

You would give anything to go back to how things used to be when you, Steve, and Eddie could just laugh and have fun but a line had been forever crossed. Trust broken in that one moment when you snuck into the metalhead’s things and found drugs that weren’t meant for you especially after you promised things were going to be different. 

“I know! I’m sorry! I don’t mean to go overboard. Everything is just so overwhelming and it helps me…breathe. I promise, I’ll slow down. I’ll get clean, I swear.”

You meant it at the time and every time after when you talked yourself out of buying a new supply. But when you were fired from your job for seemingly no reason, you needed to numb your brain. 

“Just one more.”, you had told yourself.

One more turned into another hit and then another…and another…until a couple of days later you woke up in an emergency room with your boyfriends clinging to your hands. 

“Do you want me to make you something?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve barely touched your food. If you don’t want it I can make you something else.”, Steve explains as his eyes scan you over. 

“Oh, um, no. I’m ok. I’m just not very hungry, I guess.” He nodded without saying another and you felt like you were going to explode. “How long are we going to do this?”

“Do what, honey?”

“Avoid the topic of what happened.”

“We don’t need to talk about that now.”, Eddie mumbled without even looking your way.

“I’d like to. I’d prefer it over this.” Neither man said anything as they continued to stare in front of them at their food. “Come on, guys. Yell, scream, throw things; I don’t fucking care just…talk to me.”

“Not right now.”, the metalhead repeated in a firmer tone. 

“When then, Ed?”

“Whenever Eddie chooses it seems.”, the other boy sassed throwing you off guard slightly. You half expected any hostility to be directed towards you but the way Steve said that…he was angry at his friend as well.

“Well go on. Out with it, Harrington. You’ve been fucking passive aggressive since we got to the hospital. Just fucking get it out, man.”

“Oh, it’s ok now? Now you’ll fucking listen to me. You didn’t listen to me when I asked you not to keep any drugs in this fucking apartment!”

“I didn’t expect her to dig through my things!”

“She’s an addict, you fucking idiot!”

“HEY!”, you shouted as Eddie rose from his chair, knocking it down behind him. “I said talk, not be mean. This isn’t his fault.”

“No, you’re right. It’s both your faults. I asked him not to bring drugs here because you were trying to get better, Y/N, but you were still struggling. I saw it every day you came home! You were always one step away from fucking breaking but you never said anything! Why!? Why didn’t you talk to us or hell even a doctor?! I don’t fucking care!”

“I didn’t know how…”

“Oh, fucking bullshit!”

“Because I didn’t want to burden you two! That’s all I fucking am! You both have enough going on than to deal with me.”

“So, this was better? Us finding you on the fucking bedroom floor?!” At Steve’s words, Eddie crossed his arms as he hugged himself tightly; the memory of that day hitting them both. “Did you think when we found you barely breathing, we thought ‘Oh thank God. One less problem.’? Or when we watched EMS poke and prod your pale, sweaty skin that we were thankful you did this instead of coming to us? That we would be proud that you feel better numbing yourself with that shit than being open with the men you supposedly love?!”

In anger, he flipped the dining room table making you jump and stand as everything crashed to the ground. The former jock had been holding this in for weeks and now that the flood gates had been opened, he couldn’t stop them. 

“I thought you were gonna die. You didn’t see what we saw, Y/N. All the color was gone from your face and you were so sticky with sweat…I’ll never forget that smell… You didn’t move or answer us. When EMS arrived, they were shouting a lot but the thing that stood out was ‘She’s not breathing.’”

Eddie’s own breathing stuttered and when you glanced his way you realized he was trying to control the tears that had begun to fall. 

“They asked what you took but when we told them we didn’t know but we know your history and they suggested what it could have been, I knew from his face it was something Munson brought in. I almost fucking killed him, Y/N.”

“Steve—”

“No. I’m not exaggerating or anything like that. It took all of my energy to not beat the shit out of him right then and there.”

“You think I don’t do that already?”, the metalhead growled. “You think I don’t fucking beat myself for what happened?! I stopped dealing the moment we found out about her vices. I gave Rick back everything I had because I knew that temptation would be hard for her. He needed someone to hold onto his stuff for a couple of days because Rick expected his PO to make a surprise visit. Steve, I swear to God, I didn’t think she would… I trusted her…”

After drying his eyes, Eddie squared his shoulders towards you both. 

“Maybe that was naive but she was getting better. That’s our problem, Harrington. I trust her too much and you don’t trust her at all!”

“I don’t and this is exactly the reason why!”

“I understand.” Your tiny voice cuts through their fury giving them pause. “When I get low like I did and the craving hits… it’s like being in a black hole I can’t crawl out of. I didn’t think about how my choice would affect either of you but especially Eddie. All I could think about was how I just needed the pain to stop. I am so fucking sorry. I-I-I understand if you want to take a break or some time away from me while I deal with this. I just—”

Steve cuts you off by stepping over the contents on the floor and yanking you to his chest. 

“You’re doing it again, honey. You don’t have to face this alone. We’re here to help you every step of the way.”

“Just because we’re upset with you doesn’t mean we stopped loving you.”, Eddie added before wrapping his arm around you both. “I’m sorry, Steve. I really am.”

“I forgive you. It’s going to take some time but we can get this and become better together.”

“I love you both so much and I’m so sorry for scaring you. Even if it takes my whole life I’ll make it up to you.”, you pledge as your voice is slightly muffled by the chest in front of you.

“Baby, all we want is for you to be happy. That’s all we’ve ever wanted.” Nodding, you push your face into the metalhead’s warm embrace as Steve released the two of you to pick up the table and the mess he had made. “Y/N, you remind me a lot of my mother. You are beautiful, funny, and sweet almost to a fault but when we found you… you were unresponsive like her… My dad abandoned her long before she passed but I promise, sweetheart, we’ll be right here with you every step of the way. You’re not alone.”

After kissing your forehead, Eddie knelt down to help his friend and both boys exchange a small smile before you follow his decent to help to. 

“Oh, Y/N, we got this—”

“Together, Steve. Any kind of chaos or situation life throws our way we handle it together.”

[raggstorice]

FLASH HEADCANONS!

Where I take a fandom and give a Headcanon for Every. Single. Character.

Twisted Wonderland! #1

Here we go!

Riddle: whenever a bug lands on him he freezes. Just stops.

Ace: His parents always shut down his beliefs. Very much a 'Stay in line and You'll be fine' type of family. (If requested I will rant on my HC Ace backstory)

Deuce: He calls his mother every day and one day she just starts crying and is all like 'Im so proud of you. You've changed so much and I love you.' and Deuce started crying too.

Cater: Does not actually care that much about Magicam. He just needed something to base his personality off of.

Trey: Uses southern insults All. The. Time. People talk to him and he's just 'Well good for you!' and people think he's the nicest.

Leona: If you put a weighted blanket on him he will just fall over like that one scene in Lilo and stitch.

Ruggie: Knows everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Try to introduce him to someone new and he'll just be like 'OMG my old friend!' yeah.

Jack: Named his cactus Paula. Also Talks to it and uses it like a doll. (Like that one scene in DRDT)

Azul: His first experience with a land dweller was when he saw a coin fall from the surface and he followed it. There was a language barrier so he couldn't talk to them. He wonders how they're doing some days.

Jade: Had a bonding moment with Jack over their love for plants (mushrooms and cacti) also eats mushroom-spinach pizza (like me!)

Floyd: He bites. Also he's banned from playing against other schools in Basketball because of the sheer amount of fouls he gets. Jamil is so done.

Kalim: Will summon a rainbow to cheer someone up. He's precious.

Jamil: Doesn't actually hate Kalim. He just needs to be mad at someone. Oh also he cooks for the Basketball club and brings food to practice. Ace is his biggest fan.

Vil: Godly eye makeup. He's the one who gave Rook his feather in his hat.

Epel: Bad Ass Mother Fucker. He prefers to fight with his tounge rather than his fists. The only one to realize Trey's passive aggressiveness.

Rook: Will bring back fresh meat from his hunts. Him and Jade bring the best ingredients to the Cafeteria and no one knows.

Idia: one time he hid from people in an empty classroom for several hours after school. Ortho almost sent a search party.

Ortho: Spends hours analyzing his friends. Like as a hobby. He brings them perfectly planned gifts and they all love it.

Malleus: Lilia cuts his hair. He also polishes his horns. He secretly really enjoys Sebek's loyalty just wished he was quieter.

Silver: Takes care of the horses so well. They love him and will only accept food from him.

Sebek: He can be surprisingly quiet if you ask nicely. He gets loud again if he gets worked up. Autistic.

Lilia: He loves his sons. He ends up taking care of the whole Campus. No one in NRC can take care of themselves properly so he does it. Mockingbird by Eminem coded

Crowley: He shows up randomly and helps students. Lilia is taking a student to the infirmary? He's there and takes them for him. Leona is asleep in the botanical garden? Crowley kicks him away from the path. The teachers are so done with the chaos and are ready to combust? He's there. He will make the chaos worse and somehow contain it at the same time.

Crewel: He stays stocked up on potions ready to help any students that are ill, tired, or in any sort of pain. He will let you sleep in his classroom and will pull you into his office if he thinks somethings up. Many students have cried in front of him.

Trein: Will go out of his way to include history not taught in textbooks. Stuff about gay rights, racism, trans right, war crimes, fun facts about political leaders, etc. He does it all in the most monotone voice ever.

Lucius: The best cat. Used to be a stray wandering campus. Will bring gifts to students it likes. Recognized Leona as one of its own.

Vargas: Always down to help students. Oh you have Asthma? Good thing I have SEVENTEEN EXTRA INHALERS. You seem to be struggling a little why don't you sit down? Exercise without rest is as good as no exercise at all.

Sam: Will give freebies to students who need it. Oh you skipped lunch to study for a test? Good thing I have a sandwich just for you! Your pen broke? Which one do you want? Also will tell you all the tea.

Grim: Whenever he eats those blot crystals he suddenly knows all of the victims trauma which he reports to Yuu.

Yuu: Has serious conversations with Overblot victims. The best non licensed therapist.

Authors Note: It's 1:23 AM. I'm going to sleep.

[burnwater13]

Image shows Fennec Shand, Din Djarin, and Boba Fett standing in the bombed out shell of Garsa Fwip's Sanctuary in Mos Espa. Caption reads: This is my city. These are my people. I will not abandon them. - Boba Fett Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 7, In the Name of Honor. Calendar by DateWorks.

Grogu appreciated that the Daimyo was concerned about the citizens of Mos Espa and by extension all the people on Tatooine. He seemed to understand that the people of that planet were independent, but had a hard time doing anything but the work it took to live from one day to the next. Someone was going to have to drive the syndicates off the planet and if he was that someone, well fine. He had good reasons to do it and no good reasons not to do it. Grogu supposed that was part of his nature as a Mandalorian.

Grogu would have thought that Cad Bane also understood that. He might have been Boba Fett’s mentor for some period of time (the Daimyo had told Grogu all about that) but you didn’t just absorb all the behaviors and knowledge from your mentors. Sometimes you barely picked up any of their behaviors at all. Every Jedi Master at the Temple on Coruscant had tried to improve Ian’s behaviors, but Grogu’s friend had been particularly resistant to that sort of influence, a very odd thing for a Jedi youngling. If that was the case for a Jedi youngling, Grogu couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to influence a Mandalorian youngling when you didn’t have the whole weight of Mandalore and the Creed to help you.

He could just imagine the young Boba Fett, quiet, serious, waiting to carry out whatever orders his dad had given him. Asking questions and paying attention because that’s what Mandalorian younglings were supposed to do, but only for other Mandalorians. Then a guy like Cad Bane shows up and tries to order him around and its simply chaos. Boba Fett didn’t learn by being talked at, any more than Ian had. He learned by doing things. Of course learning that way was probably a lot more physically painful, but it was undoubtedly effective if you survived. 

Grogu thought about one of the last times he had seen Ian. They had both managed to sneak into the hanger where all the starships (which were mostly small) were managed and maintained and performed an assessment of them. During their assessment, it became very clear to Grogu that his criteria for a ship and Ian’s criteria for a ship were very different. Grogu liked the ships that had large, private privies, multiple seats on the bridge, and a full galley. Since he could sleep in a hammock without much effort, he hadn’t really cared about cabins, storage, weapons, or sensor arrays. Ian, of course, was just the opposite. He wanted small nimble craft with impressive armaments, top of the line sensors, and preferably just a few hidden compartments that made hiding stuff easy. 

That meant that Ian liked the ship that Anakin Skywalker often used, while Grogu was a much bigger fan of Master Yoda’s ship. They both agreed that in a pinch, if absolutely necessary, they could deal with the ship Master Kenobi used. It met a few, but not all, of each of their requirements, but had the one benefit of being properly maintained at all times with no damage to it. Grogu wasn’t sure why that was the case, but Ian had told him you couldn’t look a gift gundark in the mouth. Grogu had replied that he hoped never to know people who thought of gundarks as gifts. Those critters were dangerous. 

“Kid, you crack me up. You’ve looked right down the gullet of some of the biggest critters I’ve ever seen and pulled Master Kenobi’s cape out before it was digested. Why would a gundark bother you?”

Grogu explained and Ian had laughed.

“Of course they smell bad on the outside. Just imagine how bad they must smell on the inside.”

Grogu hadn’t wanted to imagine that at all. 

Had that happened to Daimyo Fett when he was learning from Cad Bane? They both appreciated different things and worked out different ways to achieve their goals, but somehow, managed to work together when absolutely necessary? Or had the youngling realized that he was just safer if the scope’s target was trained on the taller man? Grogu had no doubt that Fennec operated that way. She was far more conscious of everything around her. Daimyo Fett cared about people right up to the point where they clearly demonstrated that they didn’t care about him. Then they were in trouble. 

Grogu wondered if that was a Mandalorian trait or just something that the Daimyo did? He’d let the Gamoreans work for him because they were willing to pledge their loyalty to him. He’d forgiven Krrsantan because he didn’t consider it the Wookiee’s fault that he had ended up working for the Hutt Twins. He obviously got along well with Din Djarin and Fennec. But somehow, somewhere, Cad Bane had crossed a line and the Master of Mos Espa was not tolerating that. 

There was probably something in the Creed about mentors not attacking their students. Yes, you could test them. Obviously. You had to see how well your training had worked. But betray them? Nope. That was probably like taking your helmet off, or selling your beskar, or refusing to help another Mandalorian. If you did it, you were out. 

Cad Bane was definitely out. Bounty hunter rules must have been a lot less strict than Mandalorian rules and Boba Fett wasn’t about to forgive that. Grogu just hoped that the people of Mos Espa appreciated how much the Daimyo cared about them and Tatooine. They had a chance to make their own way now with a person who was willing to do the hard work they hadn’t been able to handle. Maybe they would have a celebration and take the time to appreciate all the good the Daimyo had brought into their lives? 

They could call it “Mandalorian Foundling Appreciation Day” or maybe just ‘Thanksgiving’? Either way, Grogu was glad that he knew the Daimyo and that counted for something.

Boba Fett speaking to Cad Bane (out of frame) while standing on the streets of Mos Espa, Tatooine. Caption reads: I will not abandon them. - Boba Fett. Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 7, In the Name of Honor.

[mysticstarlightduck]

OC Interview Tag!

Thanks for the tag, @mk-writes-stuff (here)!

I'll go with Corah (the main character of "Of Starlight and Beasts") because I don't think I've done this tag for her before!

Are you named after anyone?

"No, not really."

When was the last time you cried?

"I don't really cry all that often - at least not in front of people. At least I try not to. When I'm sad or something truly upsets me I just kinda, shut down and run off to try to find somewhere I can truly be alone. Then I cry. The last time I truly cried was when our kingdom was attacked by those horrid monsters a few months ago. It was chaos and I can't help but feel I could've done something to prevent it, even though that's a foolish notion."

Do you have kids?

"No, of course not, I'm too young for that, I'm only nineteen! I'm almost still a kid myself. And I've got a whole world to see, a lot of adventures to have, wrongs to make right and monsters to fight before I can start thinking about that. If I ever have children, I'll try to be like my Dad was for me - present and caring, as a parent should - not like my mother who left when I was little and never once looked back. Sometimes, because of her, I worry that - if I eventually have any children - I might not be a perfect mother, if I ever become one."

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

"Only sometimes! It depends strongly on my mood and whom I'm talking to. If I'm happy, I might use sarcasm to make some light hearted jokes, if someone is doing something annoying on purpose I'll use sarcasm as a rebuttal, and so on and so forth. I try to be very careful not to hurt other people's feelings, because it doesn't hurt to try and be as polite as possible to everyone you meet - its common courtesy and even a simple smile and kind words might make someone's day much better, because you never know what they're going through. But on a less serious note, I tend to use sarcasm a lot with my friends - mostly because I trust them and also because they're incredibly sarcastic as well so they're able to match my energy very well!"

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

"I try to understand a bit more about their intentions and morality, if they're trying to help people or if they're using power to cause harm to others. I can get a general vibe of whether someone is good or bad from a first impression - but I tend to give anyone the benefit of the doubt until I'm proven wrong. I also notice try to notice the little details that might give me some more insight into that person's personality and daily life. Sometimes the details speak the loudest, because everyone is so unique and different in their own personal way."

What’s your eye colour?

"Dark brown!"

Scary movies or happy endings?

"I personally like both! When I was a little girl I used to adore the kinds of tales that had very intriguing and scary events that the protagonist had to face throughout the story - the more epic and high stakes the obstacles the better - as long as the hero triumphed in the end. And to this day, though my taste in books has certainly matured that preference hasn't changed. I think that, when you grow up in a kingdom that is constantly beset by monsters and horrors born of dark magic, you learn that fear is a natural part of life, and you learn how to deal with it in a way that doesn't let it consume you - you learn to grow from it, and to use that fear in order to create a better future. My Dad comes from a long line of monster hunters, so I was naturally raised with a lot of tales about eldrich creatures from far off lands and the knights who defeated them."

Any special talents?

"I am a knight-in-training, and I take my training duties very seriously. Because of this I can say I'm pretty talented when it comes to fighting, especially with the use of swords, spears and daggers. I'm also good at archery and I've learned how to fight wearing plate armor (the weight of that amount of metal takes a while to get used to, but once you do it becomes pretty much second nature). Though I take pride in those talents I've nurtured, I still have a lot to learn - hubris can lead to fatal mistakes in a fight. I also like sewing and making simple jewelry out of daily items, and I think I can dance well enough to not make a fool of myself in front of everyone in a masquerade. At least I hope so!"

Where were you born?

"I was born in the capital city of Tirawen, and have lived there ever since. It's a beautiful city, with good people and an incredibly vast set of cultures, but its also a very complicated place - the nobility is trapped in a constant 'dance' of which House has the most power and influence, and as such, gossip and intrigues are a harsh reality one has to deal with when around the city's elite. The kingdom also is constantly beset by monsters, though due to the capital being in the heart of the kingdom, it is usually safer than the provinces, despite the kingdom's magic barrier shielding most of the land. Also, fun fact that some people don't know: due to our kingdom being constantly in contact with that same magic, people from Tirawen often have longer lifespans - up to 200 years old if they live really close to the heart of the kingdom where magic is the strongest! I just find that pretty neat!"

Do you have any pets?

"We have an old dog named Miss Hilde who is the sweetest little thing - despite her being the biggest dog I've really ever seen. She's incredibly playful, but don't let those big, seemingly thoughtless eyes fool you - she's a sneaky and sassy pup who likes making a mess at every chance she gets, because she knows she'll get away with it. Or at least that's what I think my dog thinks, haha."

What sort of sports do you play?

"Does jousting, horseback riding, swordfighting and other knightly duties - like archery, duelling, etc - count? I hope it does, because that's pretty much a lot of what being a knight entails - at least I'm constantly exercising, so hopefully I'll be a healthy and buff old lady when I eventually grow old, haha."

How tall are you?

"I've always been pretty tall for my age, which has definetly come with its own sets of advantages and disadvantages."

What was your favourite subject in school?

"Hmm. In my time at the academies I used to really like subjects such as 'History of the Ancient Realms', 'Handling Magic', 'the General Sciences of Alchemy' and every single class that had something to do with improving my abilities as a knight!"

What is your dream job?

"I think I've probably already talked your ear off about wanting to be a knight, by now, so I think we've got the answer right there, haha. I cannot wait to pass my Trials and be fully knighted as a soldier of the realm - then I'll be able to serve my country and protect the people from the monsters that lurk in the night, as well as bring honor back to our family name... Which is a very complicated subject for another time."

Tagging (gently, no pressure): @agirlandherquill, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @littleladymab, @little-peril-stories, @illarian-rambling, @elshells, @winterandwords, @writernopal, @moonandris, @eccaiia, @inky-duchess, @i-can-even-burn-salad, @clairelsonao3, @thepeculiarbird, @steh-lar-uh-nuhs, @ybotter, @aalinaaaaaa, @autumnalwalker, @oh-no-another-idea, @cowboybrunch and OPEN TAG

[apoptoses]

Omg reverse roleplay part 3????? I LOVE it reverse roleplay stuff

okay so you're gonna be disappointed because my naming conventions mean if a fic is connected to a previous fic, i use the same wip title on it to keep them organized. so while technically this DOES originate from the very first reverse roleplay fic, it has nothing to do with that activity 😂 it's just daniel in charge.

but i got stuck on it 5k in and now i think i know why (they need some breathing space between returning to night island post akasha -> fooling around to let some tension build). maybe i'll get back to it and give it another try!!

“So this is where you’ve been during the day for all these years,” Daniel said as he stepped into the room.

It was like something that had been cut from some renaissance manor and transported straight to Miami. Hell, knowing Armand it probably had. Daniel ran his fingers along the dark, linenfold paneling as he walked the periphery of the room. The elaborately carved and painted ceiling glittered in the dim light of the electric candelabra installed by the door.

Daniel felt as though he were enclosed in an old jewelry box, the ceiling so low he could almost reach up and touch it. He stepped onto an antique rug and wiggled his toes in its wool fibers. With his immortal eyes he could see the thinnest crack in the paneling, suggesting another hidden door. A closet, probably. Surely there was nowhere in this small room to keep Armand’s great collection of clothes. There was just enough space for the desk and bookshelf, and a silk covered chaise lounge. And the coffin-

Daniel had no idea one could find a coffin made so large. The black lacquered lid was shut but even without it being open he could tell the inside of it would be wide enough for two.

He turned his attention to Armand, who stood with his hands behind his back, expression smooth and placid as it had ever been. Daniel’s heart drummed in his chest.

“That’s an awful lot of coffin for someone your size,” he joked, and then cringed when his voice wavered with his nerves.

How childish, being nervous about whether Armand would invite him to sleep in here with him. Daniel felt like a teenager, desperate to be invited into the room of the first boy he’d ever liked.

They’d slept together, of course. But out of necessity, when it was easier to acquire one coffin a the last minute than two. Armand, exhausted and wan from his turning, had climbed in on top of him fully clothed and collapsed into the death sleep before Daniel had even had a chance to kiss him. And then in compound- well it hadn’t felt right, flaunting his status as Armand’s fledgling in front of all of his former loves. Besides, it was safer sleeping alone, Marius had insisted.

Daniel tilted his head and watched his reflection in the shining black surface of the coffin lid. Without meaning to, he lifted his hand and traced the lines around his mouth, forever etched into his skin by immortality.

“Yes. I thought perhaps it would be more comfortable,” Armand said. “You’ve always preferred to fall asleep lying on your side.”

The hinges on the coffin made no sound as Armand lifted the lid. It wasn’t brand new. The divot in the padded interior was just the width of Armand’s narrow shoulders, the wrinkles in the pillow sham spoke of his tossing and turning in the early hours of the evening. Daniel toyed with the pleated satin that lined the lid and wondered when Armand had purchased it. How long he’d deliberated over whether Daniel would ever sleep there at all.

“So you want me here with you after all,” Daniel said quietly.

“Yes,” Armand shifted his weight from foot to foot. Beneath him the floor boards creaked. “Why would you think I wouldn’t?”

[tumblingxelian]

Bruce/Batman - Gritty or Gentle

There's often a lot of bickering about Batman's character.

Whether he should be cruel or kind, his stories gritty or gentle.

His character a serious man with a heavy weight in his shoulders but who handles it well; or a paranoid, toxic and controlling man trying to do good.

I've enjoyed or at least engaged with both incarnations and found worthwhile stories in both. The nicest Batman outside of things like Adam West would be Batman 2004, while for the more cruel Batman, well there's plenty of comics XD

Having enjoyed both, I think I found a way to contextualize why I tend to prefer my Batman to be kind of a fucking mess in comics but can and do really enjoy the more chilled out versions like 2004's in other media.

See, when Batman was first conceived of he didn't have a tragic backstory. You didn't need a reason to go beat up corrupt cops and mobsters, that was just what cool swashbuckling people did or should do.

But when they did give him a backstory it was that he lost his parents was raised by a relative and resolved to fight crime; then supporting character Alfred got retconned in as his parent ETC, you know this part.

The thing is, during this period, while he could be odd and or rather stiff. He wasn't like, a huge asshole or anything, or notably abusive outside of like, stuff that was normalized like spanking which wasn't that omnipresent anyway.

(He did kill that guy one time in an early comic, but if you wanna call that early installment weirdness I'll allow it cos its not very relevant.)

What matters is that there is enough there that I could easily see Bruce and Dick coming to have tension down the line with Bruce not really knowing how to handle Dick growing up and beyond their comfortable dynamic, even if he does try to handle it well. Especially as he likely struggled with being able to slip into the role of a parent.

IE, he and Dick are partners, mentor and student, friends, brothers and father and son. Which is a lot of emotional weight and also means when Dick starts growing more independent I could easily see Bruce bracing against it even if things never escalate to estrangement.

Then Jason is introduced and he gets a Bruce who is much more equipped to fill the parental role without uncertainty, and things seem fine.

But there's also some issues.

Some tied to the occasional misstep on Bruce's part and some of Jason's unaddressed trauma.

But others problems emerging could easily be be tied to Bruce being, ya know, affected by seeing so much crime for so long and also engaging in violence so often that its starting to change him.

Not to a degree where its unmanageable but definitely a problem.

For example, both he and Jason beat the ever loving fuck out of perps who upset them after getting too emotionally invested in a case. Both of them off, not just Jason.

This could have been dealt with, overcome, maybe even a vacation like he took post UTRH.

But then Jason dies.

Now he's traumatized all over again but this time its a parent losing his child rather than a child losing parents but still having a safety net in the form of other family/adoptive family.

Its something more explicitly 'his fault' because of the Robin business and how they ended up there.

Its something he does not have over a decade to come to terms with, process or grieve because he has to get right back into the fight to get Joker and then he doesn't stop.

So his and Dick's relationship starts decaying as Bruce starts lashing out more.

He does so because he has become more and more desensitized to violence and its use as a means to solve problems and coping mechanism that its becoming ingrained instinctual.

He's exhausted, grieving, filled with direction-less anger and isolating. So he doesn't have the chance to start getting better. In part cos there's no one who can really make him do so given the independence, resources and skills he has available and due to his personality always having been stubborn and strong willed.

Because even before he became as fucked up, he was still a very willful person. Its not like he told his uncle his plans or let Alfred dissuade him from becoming Batman. So he's always had an element of being if not isolated, inclined to keep his thoughts to himself and push through resistance to his ideas.

Which could and is easily made much, much worse by these traumatic events and lack of healthy outlets.

After which its basically a case of increasing paranoia from all the ongoing threats, nominal improvements with a somewhat expanded support network. Follow by steps back, steps to the side, good days and bad days.

Events like Stephanie's death, Tower of Babel, his crime control plan and Jason's return all reflecting and enhancing his ever compounding trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Put simply, I can totally see why Batman would become the kind of person he does in a lot of his more unpleasant comics, and I feel its relatively coherent.

Certainly more so than just ignoring it all and framing him as this emotionally intelligence sweetheart who's all about getting rid of police and prisons with perfect and uncomplicated relationships with those he loves.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Regalla

Well, first there was the Stuff at Base to deal with.

Poor Erend. He tries to brush off the squishy stuff but he is just this ... big dumb loyal marshmallow wrapped in steel and I just want to hug him.

I do love the viewpoints and moods we get from this group. Zo is ... I have a suspicion about a thing, but overall she's ... maintaining. Alva ... is probably not used to this level of setback, just because of how setbacks are dealt with among the Quen, so obviously she's entirely at sea about how to bounce back. Kotallo is moving on to the next battle because he can't mourn the dead until all the battles are done, just so he knows how many of the dead to mourn - and besides, that's his people. And Erend ... see above re: big dumb loyal marshmallow.

Zo wants to speak to me before I can do anything else? Okay. So now I get to confirm why she's so relatively calm, because that kind of thing is generally--

...okay, first? There is so much beauty in this game, even in its saddest moments, and I will bask in this until--

Yep. Relatively calm because she carries a piece of him, literally. It'll be interesting to see how that little one is raised. (And as a friend of mine pointed out, Sona's lost both of her children now. Though I guess she probably accepted that she lost Varl when he left the Sacred Lands. That's still kind of a Nora thing.)

Also like I was telling this friend of mine? It did have to be Varl, not only for thematic reasons, but for narrative ones. We needed Kotallo, Zo, and Alva as anchors to the current part of the world we're in. We still need Kotallo because we still have things to deal with as regards the Tenakth. Alva will not only be needed in terms of information about the Ancestors, but may also serve as a link to follow in the next game (assuming there will be one, but this doesn't feel like it's going to be over when we punt the Zeniths off our planet; nothing's that simple in this series). Zo ... well, narrative aftercare at minimum, since she's carrying Varl's child. And Erend? Well, he was a possibility, but he was too obvious a possibility, to start with. I mean, come on; he's a beatstick who deals with problems by charging headfirst into them. He's learning a bit of strategy now, but his death wouldn't have the same narrative weight because it's kind of expected from someone who goes into melee with Bristlebacks and who you know would die for you without a second's hesitation. Varl? He's been with Aloy since nearly the beginning. He taught her so much. He wasn't just a Rost for Beta - he was what Rost should have been for Aloy; Rost just didn't know how to be that. He tried to get Aloy to embrace life with the tribe, but he thought the only way was to separate himself from her entirely. Varl spent the last two games walking the line between "what tradition demands" and "what my friend needs", and choosing the latter every time. His world became so vast when he left the Sacred Lands. There were few enough places with narrative weight left for him to go. I've read at least one review that said they wanted to see more of Varl's character arc and that only annoys me because a) we saw a lot of it anyway and b) the only way we could have seen more of it was if it had been him as the main character and not Aloy.

(Yeah, it felt like half the reviewers at minimum would have very much preferred that Aloy be male. They don't like how bossy she is, they think she isn't likeable ... all these things that just get a pass when it's male characters being like that. I hate it.)

Okay. Let's see if flying on a Sunwing will ease my pain.

..................................WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(I mean ... it really kinda does.)

I FINALLY GET THAT TALLNECK WOO!

I should take a break but ... no. No, I am going to finish off those rebels. I'm done.

YOINK.

Ooooooooooooohohohoho this is awesome.

Okay, what now?

Melee combat with minimal space, that's what. Oh, get fucked.

Right. A little more space. Not much, but...

...You know what? You don't deserve precision or clean shots. For you, Regalla? I'm bringing out the very well upgraded legendary hunter bow. And the fire arrows. BURN!

It is so satisfying watching her be on fire.

Soooooooooo ... I get to throw her at the Zeniths? Really? Yes. Okay. I will do that. Kotallo can keep her honest, and that's what she wanted to do anyway, thanks to Sylens--

Oh. Speaking of. Message from these Prometheus people, which meeeeeeans...

Hi, Sylens. How's the everything? Your plans went tits-up? Yeah, good, because yours were made of dickhead. AGAIN. You want APOLLO? You follow my plans. Because I have them, yes. And I finally, finally know more than you do.

So I am going to get everybody - friends, foes, annoyances - into my base and we're going to do this shit. But to give everybody time to get there ... I have a couple of flight-related side quests to deal with.

Ah, there are those assholes who attacked Tide's Reach. One just wants to ... die on a tiny spit of rock, okay.

Okay, raider rebel jackasses, what building did you climb--?

Oh, this is going to suck for my usual methods of combat...

Melee combat, on a very tiny ledge, with a very long drop I HATE THIS SO MUCH.

Well, I got through it anyway. Now to that one last shelter I couldn't get because I needed flight--

GREENSHINE SLAB YAY!

Now is a good time to take a proper break. I have one more side quest and then I think endgame. I can wait for NG+ for anything really to do with the arena etc.

Yeah, I require an actual meal, and bath, and all that good stuff. But ... lots of thoughts, lots of feels, and holy fuck I forgot how much I love flying mounts.

[phenikas]

What do you use to make your renders? Is there a place you get your models?

Hooo boy, be prepared for a truckload of information! 😅

The software that I use is called Unreal Engine (same game engine used to create the BL games aside from old Tales), specifically UE5, to do all the heavy stuff, like posing the characters, making backgrounds, environments, effects and such. Some people prefer to use Blender or Source Filmmaker, which is totally valid. I'm not as familiar with those softwares, so I just stick with what I know. There's definitely some stuff I need Blender for like customizing the models for use, but the gist of it is done in Unreal. I've also made some custom post-process stuff and visual effects by watching YT tutorials, like the lighting effect, the general black lines around models, or even my own version of Holo-Jack. I don't think I would've been able to work with those as well in Blender for example (I don't even know if doing something like this is an option in Source Filmmaker, either.)

When it comes to models though, that's a different story entirely. There are some amazing people out there who have done an incredible job porting out the characters and some other models and then customizing them for ease of usability, like 416Lottie, Kabalstein and N1ghtinGalez on DeviantArt. Personally I use their versions of Rhys' old Tales and Jack's and Timothy's BL3 models, however when it comes to customizing the textures, that's all my own handy work.

Oh and there's also a site (SFMLab) that lets you download any source filmmaker model the community has put out. I've only used it once, but it's worth checking out.

Zane and Jackbot, though, along with the rest of the models, I ripped out of the games themselves.

For BL3 and New Tales, there's an amazing software called UEViewer which lets you export models and textures (and also the original skeletons for the movable bodies, which quite differ in the number of facial bones compared to the models of 416Lottie, Kabalstein and N1ghtinGalez, that's how you know how much work they've done. Getting rid of bones and then weight painting the leftover areas is something I have yet to learn). However, you have to have the games downloaded in order to do this and it doesn't work on animations (sounds and sound effects I haven't checked yet.)

For old Tales, I also ripped out some files, which I haven't had the chance to use, however I followed 416Lottie's tutorial on how to do so (it's quite lengthy and very complicated but once you get into how things work, it's quite straightforward.) There's also the TelltaleExplorer, but as I've come to learn, this one cannot export the models and the textures always come out corrupted, so I only use this one to read text files (e.g. there's some very different dialogue written in there, some old version of the script) and listen to the voice lines.

Oh, and last but not least, I also use Photoshop to edit the pics I take in-engine cause I absolutely hate working with the post-process stuff in there lmao.

If you have any further questions, feel free to ask!! :)

[cj-the-random-artist]

sorry if you've answered this before, but how do you draw/proportion bodies? The way you draw poses is so nice and fluid and I'd love to see how you do it! Your art is always such an inspiration to me, thank you for posting it

Hello! So first of all, that's a huge compliment and I really really appreciate it! I don't have the words, just. Dang. I really appreciate that so so much.

As for how I draw / proportion bodies, I don't really have a fully set process or anything, because almost all of what I do has been a result of me messing around and finding out for several years. That said, I'll try to go over some of my general process here and if clarification is needed for any part of this my askbox is always open and I'm happy to try and answer.

So I generally try to start with a rough gesture-ish shape for the torso that kind of establishes where I want the torso to sit and at what angle I want the hips / shoulders to be at. It helps for a pose to look a little more natural if there's a little bit of asymmetry and if the hips and shoulders aren't exactly at the same angle. Once I have that initial shape set up, I like to add the legs on, so I can get a feel for the weight distribution.

Also notably, I have a little marker for the head on there so I know roughly where that will be placed.

Generally after this stage I'll go in and add arms, and when I do that I'll usually make clear note of the hands, then the shoulders, then connect them at the elbow. I'll also draw on the head at this point, and for that I like to mark where the collar bone would be. There's a muscle on both sides of the neck that starts at the collar bone and ends right below the ears so that's generally a good reference point. After that I'll draw on the jawline and start marking down the head shape and where the face will go.

After this point I'll start adding on stuff like face, clothes, etc. (This ended up being a Bdubs)

A few things to try and keep in mind for anatomy is rough skeletal and muscle structure. I find it helpful if I'm struggling with a pose to think about where the ribcage, pelvis, and joints would reasonably be, and usually that will help me deal with most issues I might have. Additionally, thinking about muscle structure and body fat helps better establish the external shapes of the character, so I try to think of those too while I'm drawing.

This isn't super detailed, but I also marked here where rough skeletal points are and what the angles of the hips and shoulders are.

That said, that's not the only way I think about posing when I do start on a drawing. When I'm drawing something at a more intense angle, I prefer to start with whatever part of the body is closest to the camera and work my way back. When doing a more action- oriented pose, I tend to focus more on the line of action first so that I can do more with the gesture.

If it's not completely evident from this page, though, not every pose I draw will work out. It's fairly common for me to end up with stiff poses or ones with weird, warped proportions, especially when I'm doing more action oriented or foreshortened poses. (But of course, I don't post all the stuff I make.)

I guess to give a few closing notes, I've found that taking in information about anatomy and posing from a lot of different sources has helped me improve at it. I took a life drawing class recently that taught a very traditional manner of drawing the human figure that had a lot of emphasis on accuracy, and I took an anatomy and physiology class a couple years ago, which helped me gain an understanding of the human figure on a more scientific level, which I found very helpful. That said, I've found that YouTubers like LavenderTowne have a lot of useful information on drawing stylized anatomy and fluid poses, and her Do This, Not That videos are very informative, so I recommend looking into those a little bit for more stuff.

And a few more closing notes, that I've found work well for me personally, I highly suggest sketching loosely and lightly, and being okay with not drawing perfect poses every time. I've found, for myself, that not committing to lines right away allows me more space to find that sweet spot, so to speak, where things just work. I've found myself erasing the same lines over and over again so many times. Heck I'll draw the same post multiple times to get it to look right. It might not always look right on the first try and that's absolutely fine. Quite honestly it doesn't have to look right on the first try. For every pose I draw that turns out nice I have probably an average of 15 that have been erased or scratched out. So, like... don't get too hung up on stuff being perfect. And another small bit! Exaggerate stuff! It's fun! But it also helps capture the feeling and energy in the pose more than anatomical accuracy does, and I'd argue that especially when it comes to stylized work, it's important to push stuff to be a little bit "more" than it "realistically" would be, because I've found that can also help with fluidity. Besides, if it's been pushed too much, it's a little easier to pull it back.

I hope that long winded spiel was at least a little bit helpful, and again if any of this needs clarification, lmk! And have a fantastic day :D

[blnk338]

Can I ask a super personal question? I don't know what your sexuality is and you don't have to say of course but if you were say, bi. Would you be able to come out to your mom seeing how "rocky" your relationship is (I'm not sure how to phrase this, just remember u saying something about it not being the best)? And how would you approach the topic? Or maybe it would be better to take Nadya/mom as an example? I'm having trouble remembering what her mom's reaction was or if Nadya ever told her? Sorry if it's too out there, I just find topics like this important, especially if I can use advice I learn in future and you seem to enjoy deep discussions like this. Maybe if other people want to share their experiences as well that'd be cool? If you're okay with it only though. I am so nervous to send this but I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I hope it's not trouble!

//homophobia, transphobia, shit parenting, mentions of abuse

to put something into context to better answer your question, ill choose another thing to compare it to outside of sexuality: gender. there were a few years that i experimented with who i felt i was gender-wise. i tried to come out to my mom as a trans guy (identified as nb first, but didn't think they/them pronouns fit as much, and knew she wouldn't understand so i wasn't out at this point), and her general reaction was: "i don't hate gay people (she just generalized all LGBTQ+ as 'gay'), but you're not gay and you can't say you are." please note that my dad was actively supportive and, frankly, just wanted me to be safe and happy, so it wasn't a big deal; he also made it clear that he wasn't surprised that i was changing because everyone does (his rules were pretty much on the line of "as long as you aren't hurting yourself or others, I don't care). it took me a very long time to realize that my situation wasn't as bad as many other cases of kids coming out, but it wasn't a positive outcome. i was actively neglected and my mom chose to support whatever else my older sibling did because they were the golden child. in school and around friends, i used he/him pronouns and a different name, but that was never respected at home.

but i got into high school and realized that i wasn't trans, i was actually harboring a lot of internalized misogyny and i just hated being cornered into the traditional idea of a woman. with that being said, the damage was done. when i told my parents (sort of a re-coming out? i don't even know how to describe it, but i was still worried that they would be mad that i was changing again.), it was another weird reaction. dad was fine, mom was indifferent, and never said anything about 'having her little girl' anymore because i think she realized that i wasn't going to be the girl that she wanted me to be. today, i know i have masculine traits, but i still feel like and am a woman.

the traditionalism that i think she wanted to put on me didn't work and i took on a lot of typically masculine traits: I'm built, i prefer shorts/pants over skirts/dresses (though, I'm not opposed), i like engineering and computer science and construction, and I'm not that much into makeup or typically girlie stuff. it took me a while to unlearn the hatred i had for femininity due to the strangulation of my mom. if any of you are worried-- don't feel that way at all, I'm safe. I've moved out and cut contact

nadya's mom never actually had much of a reaction. i didn't want to add the underlying homophobia because i was worried it would go too far for people, y'know? i had nadya's mom, who i have named diane, just be horribly neutral-- she didn't care that much. i hope this is okay for this part of your ask haha

i didn't grow up in a red/conservative family though. my folks are immigrants, but come from two wildly different cultures. there wasn't a fear of me being kicked out or abused (at least physically) because I knew that a) my dad wouldn't have let that happen and b) i was a fat kid who had the weight over my mom, if she had chosen to hit me, i wouldn't have gone down without landing a few hits in myself.

i don't mind questions like this at all, and I'm grateful that you feel comfortable asking. if i did have a problem, i simply would've been vaguer :)

however, with the idea of coming out, it is now more pertinent than ever that you be careful, especially in the us. i recommend taking your own steps and trying to analyze whether or not your parents would take it well-- your safety is the number one thing that's important.

remember that if you have to cut people out, it is not a judgment on your character, but on theirs. if someone chooses to hurt or throw out their kid/anyone they know for being queer, they are not worth your time.

[miekasa]

mie.. i’m going into another eren phase.. so can you pls tell me your fav boyfie eren hcs…

Yeah, why not. I have so many random ones because he is my boyfriend <333 so here you gp

sfw

Eren doesn't actually work out all that often. He’s always been athletic, so his exercise comes in the form of playing sports, but he doesn’t really go to the gym outside of playing/practice.

Loves cake pops, more often than not “treats himself” to one after an exam or assignment, or whenever he feels like it lmfao. He basically eats it all in one bite, keeps the stick in his mouth to fidget with until he finds a trashcan. 

Likes seeing you in his hoodies because, well, it’s his hoodie on you; but mostly because of the size of the actual hood on you. He thinks it’s so funny but also pretty cute how the hood alone swallows you up. 

Grocery shopping with you is one of his favorite activities. He rarely goes by himself—if not with you, then with Mikasa or Armin—and all he really does is follow you around the store and occasionally put some stuff in the cart, but he still loves it. He likes running and then jumping on the cart like it’s a scooter. 

No matter how many makeup tutorials he watches, or how many times he watches you do your own makeup, he doesn’t really understand how it works lmfao. He likes watching it, and he thinks you look pretty if wearing makeup is your thing, but he baffles him how a little tube of concealer brightens your under eye.

Speaking of which, he sits criss cross applesauce either on your bed or on the toilet if you’re in the bathroom, while he watches you do your makeup. Counts the steps in his head, always confuses the contour and bronzer. It’s okay, he’s learning. 

He both likes and dislikes FaceTime. He likes the convenience of it (and will abuse it by calling you even tho you’ve just barely left his house), but he would much rather just go and see you; so he does. Unless there’s something keeping you apart, Eren will make the effort and the trip to go and see you, even if it’s late at night. 

He gets warm very easily, but always has some sort of coat/outerwear on him, even if it’s just a light windbreaker. He usually ends up hanging it over your shoulders or telling you to wear it because you “look cold” when he wants to take it off. 

He walks just like a half step behind you; technically still by your side, but trailing you by the tiniest amount. That way he gets to be with you and watch you, and also steer you away from anything/anyone else he sees ahead while you’re walking. 

If he notices your shoelaces are untied, he gently pokes your shoulder to get you to stop, then bends down and ties them for you. 

His phone case is brown leather, and has your initials engraved at the very bottom in a very tiny, dark green font. 

Likes walking around with you at night so congrats on having your own personal guard dog for Safety lmfaoo. Sometimes you guys don’t even talk; he just wants to hold your hand and wander around, and just be with you for a little bit. 

He is the one putting hair ties on YOUR gear shift and around YOUR wrist. Marking his territory lmfaooo

Learns to like coffee in college, and learns your Starbucks order pretty quickly. He’s got a very small addiction, but he always buys you a cup when he gets his own, so at least it’s beneficial for you. He doesn’t usually have much an extreme sweet tooth, but he takes his coffee with quite a few pumps of syrup and/or sweetener. 

Eren loves hugs, and once he starts getting them, he refuses to go with out them. Back hugs are his favorite, whether it be you hugging him from behind, or him doing it to you; either works for him, both feel like heaven. 

You know when it’s time to head home after a party/hanging with your friends because Eren will drape himself over you and gradually apply more of his body weight the more tired/drunk he gets. Regardless of whether or not he’s sloshed, he’ll still press very light and innocent kisses onto your neck and ears. 

Turns out he really likes getting kisses on his cheeks. It always takes him by surprise; his eyes widen and his eyebrows raise just a bit, but he usually evens out his expression before you pull back, so you don’t see. What you do see is the sorta glazed over, happy look in his eyes, and if you look closely, you might see his pupils dilate, too. 

He actually doesn’t mind reading, he just never thinks to read in his free time. When he does remember, and what he’s reading is interesting to him, he finishes the book pretty quickly—a few days, maybe a week at most—it’s kind of impressive. Then he goes on to not look at another book for a good five months lmfao. 

Asked you what detergent and fabric softener you used on your sheets, then bought the exact same products to do his laundry with. 

He picks you up pretty often. It’s not always tossing you over his shoulder, or carrying you bridal style, but if he needs to get to something behind you in the kitchen he’ll just. Just pick you up, turn, plop you down, get what he needs, pick you up, turn around again, and plop you right back into place. Like a doll. 

Actually very good and very meticulous when it comes to cleaning. Not a single hard water stain in sight on your dishes. Sparkling countertops and tables, your oven has never looked shinier than when he’s done with it. 

Doodles on his notes when he’s bored in class. Doodles on your notes if he’s bored in class and you’re there, too. 

He claims to not get jealous easily, but he definitely does. His methods of dealing with it are either to (a) pout (usually only happens when he gets jealous of someone you’re telling him about), (b) find an excuse to pull you away from this other person, (c) be extremely cold to this other person, (d) pretend to be sick/tired/hungry as an excuse for you to be concerned about him/dote on him in front of this other person (this is his favorite method). 

Will push your phone down/into your face if you’re laying down using it or just scrolling through your feeds. Thinks it’s peak comedy, always runs away with a little shit grin on his mouth. 

He’s always tuned into you, and sometimes physically turned to you, even in a larger conversation with other people around. Finds a way to pull you into the convo if you’ve been on the quieter side, nudges at your side under the table to bother you when you’re distracted, frequently looks at you even if someone else is talking. 

nsfw/suggestive

Eren really likes lazy sex, and it’s arguably one of his favorites; and for someone who’s not a morning person, he sure does like morning sex. He does this thing where he wakes up at like eight in the morning, starts feeling up on you, and eventually very lazily fucks you before you even have the chance to say good morning, then crashes and sleeps for another two hours. Sometimes he doesn’t pull out. 

Always gets hard when you do try on hauls of the new clothes you’ve bought; whether it be via FaceTime or in person. You could be showing him your new sweatpants, and he’ll still find it sexy. 

Can and will find time to grope you whenever possible. Getting water from the kitchen means you’re getting your ass smacked while you open the fridge. Putting on your shoes also means you’re getting your ass smacked when you bend over. Standing around debating on what to wear for the day means he’s coming up behind you to put his hands on your boobs. Doing your skincare routine in the bathroom means he’s got his hands on your hips squeezing at your skin. 

Likes being bitten. Will tell you to bite him; he’ll lean down while he’s fucking you, smile wickedly when you grab and claw at his back, and you’re gasping against his shoulder, “Wanna hurt me? Go ahead, baby, do your worst.” 

He loves making out with you, even if it doesn’t lead to sex; actually, sometimes, he prefers it that way. You make his head spin just by kissing him, and there’s a special kind of bliss of just rutting against each other without fucking that he loves. 

Lovesssss taking mirror selfie’s with you on his lap and your back to the mirror, especially right after sex. Your head resting on his shoulder and he just barely murmurs, “Stay right there, don’t move.” Might start a collection of pics like that.

Tugging on his ear acts as encouragement, but somewhat surprisingly, that sole action doesn’t necessarily turn him on; it doesn’t turn him off, and he likes it, but it’s more... soothing? than sexual to him. What you should do instead is put your hand on the back of his neck/touch the hair near his nape. 

He could have done all the work, but will still wrap you in his arms and kiss your head and tell you how good you are, how good you were to him. He really does think you fucked him 9/10 times and takes pride in it too lmaooo

Holds your jaw open with one hand, presses the index and middle fingers of his other hand against your tongue, and watches your spit pool around him. He exhales slowly at the sight, moving his fingers around to coat them evenly before pulling them out of your mouth and separating them; watches a thin line of spit connect them and groans. 

Holds you jaw a lot, actually: when you’re kissing, when you’re blowing him, when he’s on top and fucking you, when he’s fucking you from behind, he’ll pull you up with one hand, use two fingers and turn your head to the side so he can kiss you. 

It’s him that kinda loses it first most of the time; that gets that fucked out, hazy look in his eyes, that makes everything feel like too much so his head drops to your shoulder and he resorts to biting at your neck to further stimulate you. 

Likes sucking on your tongue when you kiss. Falls in love with you all over again on the spot when you do it back to him. 

You could just barely put your hands on him and Eren will groan, mutter about how you’re so sexy and how badly he wants to fuck you. Could just lay back with your chest heaving from kissing him and he’s got hearts in his eyes and his dick is hard.