#i know this was in response to my reblog about getting older and surviving shit and i love ya for validating the kick ass vibes

[savage-rhi]

YOU ARE AWESOME.

REMEMBER THIS, YOU ARE AWESOME.

AND I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE MET YOU!!

Honestly, I am always so happy to see you on my dash! :D SO KEEP GOING, YOU ARE AMAZING.

(also fml getting older is GOAT. Let's count all the wrinkles together!! 😂😂😂😂)

@nemo-of-house-hamartia THE FEELINGS ARE MUTUAL BY A TEN FOLD HON 💙💙💙🫂🫂🫂I love your energy, and I love seeing the things you create! There's a lot of people I look forward to seeing pop on the dash and you're one of them. I'm glad we share the same planet!

LETS BE BAD OLD BITCHES TOGETHER 💯🙏🏻 WE MADE IT THIS FAR, MIGHT AS WELL GO OUT LIKE KINGS AND DINE ON OUR FICTIONAL CRUSHES 😂

[tragictrainmen]

Welcome

Yo I'm Ari! I'm an autistic trans dude who loves me some autistic Trains dudes. HA

I’m a 31yr old adult but this is a harmless pokemon train blog. Not really gonna be posting anything inappropriate. please interact responsibly and only follow if you want to. *thumbs up*

Anyway this is an introductory post of sorts. :> I’m compiling all my headcanons for the Submas twins in one place, and so ppl wanting to follow can get a feel for the kind of content I’ll be reblogging! (and maybe even... making????)

SO let’s get started.

Headcanons that apply to both the boys:

Eyes glow in low light. This is seen with Ingo's eyes in PLA and is too cool not to just call canon. Graphical error? Never heard of her. Seriously thought it was to make Ingo feel like a ghost lost in the past. Really thought his plot twist was gonna be that he was dead the whole time. |D

Both boys are on the spectrum. Both are canonically literalists who avoid lying, share a special interest in trains and Pokemon battles, both struggle with social cues and come across as either aggressively blunt (Emmet) or constantly unhappy and severe (Ingo).

They’re Aro/Ace, although they have a close Platonic friendship with Elesa. I Love adopted sister Elesa content. I am NOT a blankshipper. Do not like incest content. Looking for healthy sibling relationships in my content pls and thank you. I also Love Uncle Ingo and Akari content. He’s a good dad.

On that note: I really like shit that subverts toxic masculinity, especially as a trans dude myself, so I don’t see male sibling affection as idk.. erotic? wrong? If they cuddle on the couch watching a movie together then like. That’s just them hanging out. Idk I'm the oldest of 5 siblings I know what siblings do when they love each other and live together. (and have survived trauma together) And half the reason I like submas content is bcus of their healthy sibling bond that survives through their trauma. Also they are neurodivergent. 🤗

I don't headcanon either of the boys as heavy swearers. Maybe Emmet will say shit and Ingo would mutter damn, but neither would say fuck publicly. It’s more of a professionalism thing, and they’re both very articulate in unique ways. I feel like they’d be concerned cussing would cause someone to take them less seriously. (I don’t mind content where they do cuss! I think Emmet saying fuck is funny as shit, it just doesn’t fit how I ‘read’ them.)

The nitty gritty, like personal autistic headcanons for each brother and how they operate together will all be under a cut to save post length.

Ingo:

- Autism shows itself in lack of facial expression. Pretty much does not realize he is Not Emoting 90% of the time. (This is actually canon in Pokemon Masters? He's genuinely surprised you've never seen him smile) He does smile in PLA, but VERY rarely, and uh. it’s like, almost a straight line. That’s the best you’re gonna get.

 -Also will show excess emotion in his voice, and on top of that, his volume control is pretty terrible, and he often uses said volume to accentuate happiness or excitement. Will gradually get louder the more intensely interested in a conversation he is in. Will be shouting about Pokemon battle strategies in a diner and not know he is shouting.

- Has learned to mask behaviors because of his personal sense of responsibility.

-He has older sibling syndrome BAD. It made putting aside his autistic needs a priority as a child and he still struggles with it as an adult.

-This can make strangers believe he's the more 'neurotypical' brother, which is bullshit haha. Ingo will still fidget with his hands in private or around Emmet.

- Fidgets include picking the grime out from under his nails meticulously. (Often done while alone, or before bed) Clapping his hands together or slapping his lap/ the wall/ the seat repeatedly when he finds something funny, and touching or adjusting his hat. He will reach for it even when he's not wearing it.

-He will also clasp his hands together and rub his thumb in circles along the back of one hand. Will also do this while holding hands. Or putting a hand on your back or shoulder. Thumb rubs from Ingo are a common side effect of him touching you for any prolonged period of time.

-He will also take and inspect Emmet's or Elesa's hands/nails when they're alone or waiting for a long period of time. (He will do this while they watch TV, for example. This is a social love behavior and is not something he does with anyone else. He might have done it to Akari a few times? To her utter confusion. “Ingo is there something wrong with my hand?”)

-Aside from voluntary hand-touching, Ingo actually dislikes being hugged or held without express permission first. Will often still stiffen up like a board when hugged with permission. Touching can be painful. Doesn't so much have this issue with kids, who he absolutely adores. But kid hugs are rare and don't involve someone squeezing your shoulders or restricting your arms so they're aren't that bad.

-Organized to a fault. Used the calendar app and the alarm app to their fullest potential. Follow the schedules? He and Emmet live by this. Emmet follows Ingo's schedule. They work best that way. His office desk is meticulously organized. No matter what Emmet's looks like, it's always just as tidy as Ingo’s by the time they head home. (He makes sure Emmet cleans up after himself)

-Living situation is the same. Clothes get ironed because Ingo makes sure they do. Chores are ordered by day, week, and brother because Ingo and Emmet need structure, but Ingo's the only one good at Maintaining structure. More on Emmet later.

-Music taste is primarily modern classical. Piano or small orchestral accompaniments like Ryuichi Sakamoto and Andrew Shapiro. Or Orchestral movie scores that emphasizes the grandiose, think the soundtrack of Interstellar. Hanz Zimmer's more classical stuff. Any Gibli movie soundtrack is also fair game. He also likes jazz and certain types of alternative folk. Would probably like Rainbow Kitten Surprise and Mumford and Sons.

-Comically enough, both brother's will willingly tolerate each other's music. Even though they have. Uh. Opposite tastes. They share the same Spotify account even. Ingo will tolerate most average Radio fare, and is probably the most willing to give up the aux. Sort of a music pushover. Is surprised when someone wants to listen to his music.

Emmet:

-Autism and Adhd bundled together into a man that is somehow both the most monotone and most enunciated fast-talker you've ever met. He says everything so abruptly. But you understand every word. He has had A LOT of practice making himself understandable. I've seen some posts around talking about Emmet being nonverbal when he was younger and I wholeheartedly agree with that.

-Emmet's language journey was a rough one, but he's an incredibly confident speaker. I don't believe he's self-conscious about how he talks. To be honest, I don't think Emmet is Aware he speaks oddly at all. If someone says something, he literally has no clue what they could be on about. Yeah Ingo talks kinda weird I guess but him? No. You are wrong actually.

-Is Not Sarcastic. Does Not Know How To Sarcasm. His verrrys are verrry genuine. They just uh... Never sound that way. RIP. He IS a bit blunt though. He has no filter.

-Stimming is far more obvious in Emmet. He is a foot tapper, the sort to rock back and forth on his heels if he's impatient. He claps when he's happy, he claps when he's excited, he claps when something is funny. He is power-walking towards you right now because he can't hold still anymore. :) :) :) Chews his nails, but only while hyper-focusing. Much to Ingo's frustration. Ingo is the only reason his nails have any growth at all. He sometimes makes them bleed without realizing it. :(

- He will twirl or click anything in his hands if he is holding it long enough. He will tear or fold the corners of paper if left holding it for too long. Will scribble on the edges of notes or even on important documents if not given enough stimulation. Likes to draw smiles in the corners and repeated straight lines close together. (The straighter and closer the better!)

-While Ingo has an almost compulsive level of organization, Emmet's forms are always crumpled a little, smudged in places. There's a smiley face next to where he needed to sign his name. A coffee ring somewhere maybe. He doesn't know how coffee got on it. :) He's verrry sorry! It is still a proper legal document thought :) you will take it.

-Contrary to this, Emmet likes things just as neat and organized as his brother, but struggles to plan well and doesn't conceptualize time. His phone has just as many timers as Ingo's, but it includes ones with names like 'eat now' and 'leave with time for coffee'.

-He can struggle with executive dysfunction if left to do a task by himself without company. An issue he sees as a fault. Ingo can do things alone. Why can't he? Why does he have to fight himself tooth and nail just to take the trash out while Ingo is not home? This leads to uh. Some good angst when Ingo gets yeeted lol. Emmet cannot keep a place clean to save his life, and a lack of cleanliness directly affects his mental health.(he tries verrry hard though. Oh god does he try. u-u)

-Is more comfortable with most forms of contact than Ingo, but also prefers to be asked before being hugged. (has stricter boundaries about who can and can't touch him though. He will usually say no. Or ask Why.)

-Likes friendship kisses. 🚫not true kisses!🚫 Will kiss your hand. Will kiss your cut. Will kiss cute Pokemon. Has kissed his Electross's big dumb head before. Actually will also kiss soft blankets.

- Wait scratch that Actually both the boys like soft things. Ingo will rub them compulsively. Emmet will hold things up against his face and feel them against his lips. He will look like he's hiding his face during a scary movie but no he is enjoying a texture. :) (he is not scared of scary movies)

-As far as music, Emmet listens to the grungiest grinding electronic house imaginable. If it doesn't sound like someone tried to hybridize screamo and dubstep into a single song it's not Emmet. His tastes can also jump to more classic house and electronic music, with a preference for heavy beats and drops. He would like some Apashe and Infected Mushroom for example.

-He also likes alt rock, and mentions liking Piers’ music in Pokemon Masters, which is unsurprising. He would listen to Nightwish too lmao. Will usually wear headphones and play things loud as a form of self-regulation. Although he will willingly listen to Ingo's music no questions asked. But it makes him sleepy.

Maybe I will draw art of these two eventually. 😔 Until now, have this long ass post.

[eddie-scarpa-lived]

given eddie's penchant for doing ludicrously embarrassing shit, i feel like henry would really get that "i want to study him like a bug" feeling toward him. watching him make a complete fool of himself thinking "how does he live like this, if i did that i'd keel over and die on the spot from humiliation"

oh i think there's a lot of similarities and oppositions in them, that's why I'm forever mad we didn't get to actually see them interact!

recently you posted about Henry's fear of humiliation bc of the treatment from the Clemente crew and how he was seen as a spoiled brat because of his connection to Clemente himself - and I totally agree with that. (I originally wanted to reblog and add smth about Eddie but I don't wanna hijack posts about other characters to make them about Eddie hehe)

anyway, Henry has had this experience, but he managed to get through it relatively unharmed (I mean, at least on the outside). He does keep up the appearance of an experienced wiseguy who knows his shit (somehow). does he actually believe in himself? that's hard to tell, but I'm willing to say to some extent yes, he does see himself as someone who is able to survive (I always think of the line from the song "Wait for it" from Hamilton: "And if there's a reason I'm still alive / When everyone who loves me has died / I'm willing to wait for it". thinking about it, there are more parts of the song I would attribute to him). Anyway, he had to "grow a pair of balls" and be tough. Naturally, he'd be terrified of being embarrassed in such environment.

and this is where it's different between him and Eddie. I think as much as Henry's father wasn't the best, he gave him at least some example to follow. His childhood, his family, hell, maybe even his marriage, gave him some stability, some normality, for a moment. Eddie never had that. I stand by my hc of Eddie growing up sort of unwanted, uncared for, with a bunch of siblings that were never home etc., and getting his "example" from the slightly older guys who sort of bullied him, sort of accepted him, gave him booze and let him hang around with them. and he has this sort of pathological obsession with this sort of "friendship".

well, eventually, he got to work for Carlo, his best friend Carlo, and he's absolutely devoted to him. he went through hell for him. he was probably wounded working with him, he went to prison (hc he suffered there a lot, and did a lot of stuff he's embarrassed about), and realized he has nowhere to turn. but because of Carlo's paranoia and the whole Rocco situation, he was eventually promoted to the position of underboss. and I think the main reason he resents it (and drinks so much) is because it makes him even lonelier. he loved feeling "part of the crew", he loved hanging around with the guys, but now he's supposed to do the hard job and be the almost-boss himself, punish people, take their cuts, make the hard decisions, be the "cannibal", be the one everyone is afraid of. and he hates that, because he doesn't believe in himself, he doesn't believe he should have any of this responsibility, he actually feels like he doesn't fit in (bc of the prison experience, bc of his naive belief that the friendship with Carlo is real and pure, bc he's not Italian/Sicilian by birth, bc he doesn't speak Italian, bc he didn't want this position, etc.).

Eddie is rarely embarrassed because when he's lying in the gutter, throwing up in his car, or being punched in the face, he feels like he's getting what he deserves, he's where he belongs, and that it's the real him. Whenever he tried to show genuine emotion, he had people pull away, laugh in his face, or dismiss him for being drunk. Being punched in the face would remind him of being "just the Chicago guy hanging around with the older boys", or maybe even of his boxing times. That's why he'd want someone to do that (in the casino hc). He doesn't wanna be the guy everyone is afraid of.

Long story told short: He's a great company. He loves being a great company. In another life, he would make a great party host, give everyone a party hat, bake an apple pie, and make people sit around the table and engage in small talk. He craves to feel part of things, he wants to be wanted. But things happened, he started drinking, and with the drinking, the darkness started coming out. And when he drinks, he does embarassing stuff, because he loses a lot of the filter and braincells, and just lets all the worst of him (all his insecurities and fears) take over.

I genuinely believe that the late 1920s/early 1930s Eddie was a much more sober, brighter (in the sense of a face expression) person with a sense of humor that wasn't all cynical and dark, because for a moment, he felt like he had a purpose and place in the world, and that he was irreplaceable.

Lol, this got out of hand.

[yostresswritinggirl]

100 Followers Special

(And how to participate) you don't need to be a follower to vote ack

~yostresswritinggirl

Hello AGAIN, with your back to back followers special! Exiled here, very tired, as I just closed the requests box for our 50 followers special. I asked for some recommendations and no one helped me so this is what I came up with!

Granted, it's nothing that special, I literally just dumped my notes into this so—

Please make sure to follow the guidelines and read this thoroughly to properly participate!

1. You will be given a long list of fic prompts specific to a character that I've come up with for weeks on end, please don't steal, as I will remove them after this event is done!

2. Voting! You now have the power to influence my writing schedule haha- what you need to do: is to pick three prompts from the list and send it to me; either through reblog tag, a reply, or in my ask box (not anon so we can count fairly, will not publish these answers tho so worry not)! Not in messages tho! It should be in this format:

1. Character - prompt or prompt title

2. Character - prompt or prompt title

3. Character - prompt or prompt title

example:

1. Albedo - Citrinitas

2. Zhongli - Braid

3. Xingqui - Author!Reader

The top three most voted prompt and character will be the next fics I'll publish after I'm done with the current reqs. Speaking of: Voting ends when I finish the current reqs. You'll know it's done once the counter in my blog desc reaches 12/12.

3. In addition to the three prompts, you also get to add your own prompt to it! My prompts list does not include ALL the characters that's why I wanted to give you this option too! Add a fourth number and specify a character, a prompt/idea, and the format of the fic! Format it this way:

4. Character - Prompt/Idea (Format)

4. Kaeya - What's under that eyepatch? (Scenario)

After I pooled the answers, I'll randomly pick between the bonus answers and write them last! So give it your best shot!

4. Tags-list! I thought this would be necessary for this kind of a whim special, so if you wanna be tagged, just put Tag Me! at the end of your vote. Please make sure that you're actually able to be tagged because I just tried and some users are not in my orbit huhu, look here

5. If a pocket watch/series prompt gets chosen, I will only post the first chapter, not the whole damn fic pls. Have mercy,,,

I will post a counter of the top three in my blog description and will be updated as frequently as possible. Any questions, please direct to this post or my dms <3

Without further ado, here is your choice list!

Xingqui - "My liege, would you care to accompany me on my reading break? I've picked up a romance novel and it reminded me of us."

-> Author!Reader: You met Xingqui at Wanwen Bookhouse when delivering a batch of your newly-published book. But as a ghost writer, no one knew it was you that authored such books. Safe to say it was cute watching the noble bookworm fanboy about you in front of you. [FLUFF] [FIC]

-> Headcanons with a reader older than Xingqui who's a close family friend of the Feiyun Commerce Guild. Fascinated after meeting you in a party, the noble boy aspires to become the best man for you despite the difference, promising to be the best suitable partner for you in the future. [FLUFF] [HEADCANON SCENARIO]

Childe - "Hey there, comrade! What a coincidence that we had a break at the same time, care to accompany me for a walk? I promise I won’t lead you to a fight haha... hey, don’t look at me like that!”

-> Antinomy -  The 10th Harbinger (You) and the little shit they had to mentor (Childe), this fic enumerates the trials of the 11th before he became a Harbinger under your care. From strangers to mentor to friends to love- Childe made a grave mistake, now you’re once again strangers. [FLANGST] [ONESHOT]

Albedo - "Ah, it's you. I've heard of fleeting rumors that you've been pestering a certain someone just to see me. Next time, just come directly to me, I wouldn't mind the assertiveness."

-> Refer to these three as well: Albedo Fic Ideas [FLUFF/FLANGST/FLANGST] [ONESHOT/ONESHOT/SERIES]

-> “You’re Enough”: A year into being the new Chief Alchemist of Mond, Albedo finds himself holed up in his room in the dead of night, haunted as he continuously comes out empty on his research to bring his master back, feeling inadequate. So you reminded him of what he’s capable of. [FLUFF?] [ONESHOT INSPIRED BY You Are Enough - Sleeping At Last]

-> Under the Artificial Sky: Michaelangelo Scenario focused on Albedo’s sketching aspect. Grand Master Varka and Acting Grand Master Jean figured Albedo needed a break and a change of scenery, and sent him off under the guise of a commission in Liyue. What he didn’t expect was another artist from Fontaine accompanying him in this big project.(Albedo and Reader are tasked to paint the new Jade Chamber within 7 days) [FLUFF] [SERIES - 7 CHAPTERS]

-> Albedo SMUT: I had this idea while laying wide awake at 3 AM. The alchemist had been trying all remedies to shake off the stress and fatigue in his system and they all seemed to fail, no amount of sketching or discoveries can pull him away from it. So when you offered a solution he hasn’t heard, he’d jump at it immediately. “You know, some people say having intercourse with someone is a good stress-reliever.” “Intercourse? If it’s true, then please, I wish to have intercourse with you.” “Wha- wait Albedo, do you not know what that is? It’s only done between lovers!” “Convenient, I love you, anything else?” (Two virgin dumbasses do the thing to relieve stress) [SMUT] [ONESHOT]

Xiao - “I’ve taken care of every threat around this area, you can relax now, I made sure of that.”

-> What is it with you and Qingxin flowers? The Traveler had once heard of Xiao’s affinity for Qingxin flowers, and they’re flying companion boldly asked this lingering question to the adepti himself. His pupils dilate and sharpen before Paimon could finish her sentence. (An origin story about his favorite flower, and his favorite person) [SLIGHT FLANGST] [ONESHOT]

-> Just how harmful is adeptal energy to normal humans? You both found out in the worst way possible: silently, deadly. (Slight spoiler: you fucking die) [ANGST] [ONESHOT]

-> Nightmares Taste Horrible: He’s seen that look in your eyes and the ancient soul within it; you’ve lived long ago, and the only thing your soul carried now was the nightmares of a macabre timeline. Was it him or was it demons that brought you that fear? No matter, he’ll protect you even from yourself. (eating the nightmare of a dead soul reincarnated to you) [FLANGST?] [ONESHOT]

-> Go for the throat: The seal that marked you had made it all too late for him to remedy. Bleeding eyes, growing fangs, it’s just another demon to vanquish just like he’s done for centuries. What makes it different was it was sealed in you. (Inspired from Melanie Martinez’s song uhu) [ANGST] [ONESHOT]

Zhongli - “Mortals are capable creatures that evolve and adapt for means of survival, but they advance in ways that changes the world around them. This retirement, may be harder to me than it is to them.”

 -> “In human history, there’s a certain noble and powerful connotation to rulers who braid their hair.” Convince to braid his hair using some historical braid trivia; that long hair behind his back should not be ignored for any longer. [PURE FLUFF] [DRABBLE]

-> History has its eyes on you: A traveling theatre hailing from the land of entertainment finds its way to Liyue for their last caravan. A certain Geo Vision man seems to resonate with your newest script: fighting and protecting your land, building up its nation, before being forced to let go of it. He resonates maybe a little too much. (Musical!Reader with heavy references to Hamilton hehe) [FLUFF] [ONESHOT]

Venti - "Can you hear the symphonies of the wind as it sings to you? That's me, guiding you and protecting you! Whenever you hear it, know that you're safe and sound under my protection!"

-> the one the bard once loved: like actual bard, you are the archer or smth, loved by Venti and Barbatos. Yandere!Barbatos undertones, very unhealthy relationship. This hurts the kokoro. [PURE ANGST] [ONESHOT]

-> The Caravan: (related to the Zhongli and Musical!Reader up there) Your caravan stops at Mondstadt for a whole week before it reaches its final destination. This new fanfare pulled in a peculiar bard who now wants to tag along for the fun of it. "I have no more responsibilities in this free land!" Just what kind of responsibilities does a broke bard have in the first place? [FLUFF] [ONESHOT/HEADCANON]

Diluc - "You look weary, and you still managed to pull yourself here. Here, a fresh and cold glass, on the house. A relieved smile should be enough payment."

-> Abandoned by The Altar: A timeline oriented story focused on your once perfect childhood relationship as Diluc's bride to be, soon becoming estranged after the death of his father and his neglect. You only wish now that he looks at you the same way he did when you heard you were supposed to be together forever when you were young. [FLANFF] (The ending gets better pls; Inspired by Still Into You - Paramore) [ONESHOT]

-> There are No Laws Against Homelessness in Mondstadt: My favorite title out of all of this ahahhaa- who says adventurers can't be broke? You're the living embodiment of that. (Good boi Diluc with a broke ass reader) [FLUFF] (Warning: homelessness) [ONESHOT]

Scaramouche - "Let's go already, the sun is setting and we're nowhere near our destination. If you wanted to linger just to spend more time with me, I would have indulged you behind closed doors anyways."

-> Scaramouche Finally Does the Fandango: Have you ever wondered how Scaramouche is like working with other people? His first assignment was to accompany you in your main region and he sees you in your natural habitat, entranced. [I dunno how to tag this, NORMAL?] [ONESHOT/SHORT]

-> Skincare bitch, how I headcanon Scaramouche as someone actually conscious and always tending to their skin. Look at that smooth skin, cute cheeks, let me pinch, eyeliner glory— In which case, that hat has more purpose than being a frisbee. (May or may not include reader. (based from a reblog convo with chels-void) [GOOD VIBES] [HEADCANONS]

-> Once Supreme: Before Scaramouche, there was someone else higher than him. Before Balladeer there was just a young man fighting for his beliefs and her Majesty. Before Mondstadt, his smile wasn't just for deception. "Someday, someone would take advantage of that smile, Scaramouche. It's not appropriate in this work environment." The day you break a man. (Harbinger!Reader again, and lots of HCs for Scaramouche, same format as Antinomy) [I also do not know how to call this, eventual ANGST] [ONESHOT]

Kaeya - "What are you doing out here in the dead of night? Citizens like you should be cozied up in bed and leaving the patrols to us Knights. Come, I'll accompany you back home."

-> Honey Whiskey: A mysterious band of dancers from Sumeru visits Mondstadt and its taverns to offer a night of alluring dances. What was supposed to be a night of drinking for Kaeya and his troops ended up becoming a tipsy surprise mission when the main dancer steps down from the stage— and ignores him?! How scandalous! (Slightly suggestive themes/You're a bad guy) [COOL?] [ONESHOT] [slightly inspired by song with the same name]

General:

-> A Musical!Reader but with a scenario with every other character, most probably headcanons master post.

-> Genshin Food prompts: From that one post, I ended up making a whole storyline of oneshots related to their special dishes. Oneshots connected to a bigger picture. By impulse you've ended up leaving your normal life behind to pursue your cooking career, starting from Mondstadt, to learn all the cuisines to establish the first ever international restaurant. With the implications of magic and peculiar customers, your simple dream turns into a harder goal. [GOOD SHIT] [SERIES] [CANON-COMPLIANT]

-> God of Time!Reader that hails from Fontaine. Do you wish to know more about their origins and their purpose in this world? [CANON-COMPLIANT] [HEADCANONS] (General since it deals with all the characters/interactions)

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Tagslist-for-my-thirsty-homies:

[luidilovins]

You should turn your post on the Uncanny Valley into a book or something. I am not even kidding, it's brilliant and sorely needed information. Thank you for it.

Tbh its just speculative that the uncanny valley is an inherent biological trait and not cultural or a learned behavior at the moment. A good example would be the cultural phenomenon of colorophobia where in the US we have a longer history of using clowns in our horror pop culture genres than countries like Japan.

Clown entertainment has been around since the Egytian times and maybe some people have always been freaked out by them it honestly just takes one director or author to have an disproportionately irrational fear and good cinematography skills to convince people that they SHOULD hate clowns just as much, (I could say the same about the movie Jaws but thats a bit of a tangent,) or a memorable event that damages the public's trust in something that SHOULD be innocent or harmless. (A good examples being the John Wayne Gacy trials.)

Clowns are also thought to be in the uncanney valley so ita a fairly good argument on cultural phenomenon versus genetic traits. Up until aroud the 60s-70s clowns were actually fairly well liked by the US general public and a lot of older generation still find a fondness in it that would scare the living shit out of their grandchildren.

As far as evidence that I may be right about the "uncanney valley might be because of rabies" theory, there has been a small case study suggesting that the movements of a non-human robot that trigger the effect in us, is also present in people with parkinsons but the sample size is too small for me to be thoroughly convinced.

And don't be mistaken I also dislike this concept because saying that ableism is an inherent human trait is just as bad as saying racism is an inherent human trait. There is little to gain from distrust in the disabled and little historical evidence to suggest it was common or beneficial to discard disabled people. Disabled people's remains have been found time and time again to live to incredibly long livea and be cared for, and participate in their communities. I'm highly critical of this particular case study and I take it with a grain of salt because its on cosmo, but evidence of human disabilities and compassion can be sourced by actual bones and it's been placed on VERY credible sources. NPR, NBC, Discovery, Nat Geo, NY Times, literally the clostest you can get to creme of the crop news articles on DOZENS of accounts and if you have a goddam problem then pay for a tour to the Smithsonian, find an archeologist and coherse them into showing you the bones and then explain phorensics to you because you probably wouldn't understand unless you too were a phorensic archeologist yourself.

What I DO BELIEVE tho is that if the uncanny valley is a legitimate inherent trait, that like most evolutionary traits, it made it this far for this long because it somehow served us benificially. And the biggest benifit I can think of is identifying neuro-infectious diseases because they can spread agressivley, many of them lead to death or lasting effects and are fucking MISERABLE to catch. We're talking brain swelling, fevers, uncontrollable vomiting, tremors, hallucinations, motor and vocal tics, difficulty swallowing, seizures. This could all happen because they eat infected deer meat or because of one bad fox bite. It's miserable if you survive and horrifying if you dont. Rabies can survive in your muscle tissue for years before infecting your brain and once it does usually you only live for about 5-10 days in and out of concious knowledge that you're going to die painfully, and disease aggrivated psychosis. It would be hard to pinpoint the causation because the amout of time before full blown infection would vary too much to assosiate for a long time. So your only option is to hone in on telltale signs.

The disabled people who would suffer from herdeditary or developmental neurological disorders run the risk of prejudice from mistaken identity, but if a human is part of a community, and doesn't die within a week from having a wobbly head, it would sooner or later become apparent that they're not dangerous. I think nowadays culturally people don't press to learn more about disabled people due to social and political prejudice and never fucking grow up past that. Mistaken identity or not. You learn about people from the patterns of their behaviors so even ones that seem abnormal to you become a normal recognizable pattern for them. Fancy that.

We don't get grossed out by chimps or gorillas, who are even more distant cousins, and the proof that we don't have a search and destroy button for anything immediatly related to us is a bunch of bullshit can be found in almost every human's blood on earth. And not just neanderthals, but denisovans as well. And that's not even accounting for genetic backtracking the crossbreeding of other sapiens species before we were whittled down to just the three. What makes the tweet even stupider is that when neandertals still roamed the earth humans were shorter, hardier, and overall more rough looking so we looked even indistinguished then. We Also Chewed On Bones and neandertals handled cold climates better than us based on a study on chest cavity density and, skull nasal intake and heat circulation, providing genetic diversity and the upper hand in survival in the tundras or mountainous regions spanning over Eurasia. If it wasn't for humans fucking neandertals we might not have been able to spread over the contient or diversify the way we did.

So my full hypothesis is that if the uncanny valley is a genetic inherent human trait it was used to benifit people from catching agressive diseases in a time where the benifit of fearing a group member with rabies outweighed the cost of fearing a group member with a disability like parkinsons.

WHAT PISSED ME OFF was the idea that we are DESIGNED to be unwary of our evolutionary cousins could easily be used for white supremacist spaces to justify racism BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAS

So that one tweet that might seem like a quirky thinkpiece in my eyes is just fuel for eugenics trend round whatever number we're on. It's like we don't fucking learn. It would be REALLY easy to retool the concept that it's natural for people to be fearful of whatever the bullshit definition of sub-humans are. Claiming that black people were sub-human thus deserving of mistrust and submission to white ownership worked like a fucking charm.

Maybe if I go to college and major in psyche/socio/civics it'll be my college thesis. Right now I'm more of a hobbyist than anything, but what I DO know is that anyone can make an untested hypothesis to combat another untested hypothesis and it should hold just as much goddamn value. I combatted the idea that the idea that human othering was funneled into an unconfirmed effect that causes disgust and terror based on non-human sapiens is in fact racist and gave what is in my opinion a more evoluntionary practical approach to the uncanney valley.

The generalized links that I used APARENTLY weren't good enough for some people but aparently a single tweet that says "hur dur heedle dee uncanney valley exists because of human cousins" was taken at face value even tho it was probably tapped out in five seconds without regards to the reproccussions. I find a huge discomfort that less than studious links about the evolution of monkey social behaviors that I used as a guideline to explaining my concerns became the focal point for people to nitpick without even having the gall to "well actually" on the subject. That absolute ravaging NEED to rip apart at it and devolve into name calling because I MENTIONED racism is fucking suspicious and I don't trust it. I had to stop looking at the responses because some people were only reblogging and arguing with barely half of my argument and i was getting nowhere fast.

There were a few people that made actual points with cited sources that made their own rebuttle arguments. That I respect. It's just as valid an argument as mine and I'm ALWAYS willing to take on more credible sources to strengthen my stance or gain perspective.

But it's the utter dismissal of a concerning concept that just seeped into the subtext that gnawed at my gut. Some people on top of hating the linked sources I provided, admitted they didn't read it, refused to read between the lines to purposfully misinterpret or derail my main points, and detract that my claim that the tweet was a result of systemic white supremacy saturated into modern science was a bunch of bullshit because I claimed that 1500s anglos invented racism.

The thing is we did invent the racism that we fucking currently subscribe to.

We practice the science that we formulated based on our own social prejudice. Real people die from this.

We remain uncritical of our own theorums that we postulate then pat ourselves on the back like we're philosophical geniuses even though racism is a family heirloom with a new paint job.

We preach the eugenics ideals that we pulled out of our asses to benifit from fearmongering, promises of national security and unpaied labor.

White supremacists create subtext with the intention of it being consumed by accident or in ways that seem palatable.

Fuck.

That.

I don't hate the person who wrote the tweet. Chances are that they gave the tweet as much thought as they took the time to write it and went on their day as a fun little thinkpiece. Everyone on the internet does it. But its that kind of thinking error that needs to be adressed as a progression of historic and scientific prejudice that gets rehashed, recycled and untouched and continually damages and is weaponized against marginalized people. I am not wrong for taking it seriously especially when a bunch of people were sitting around nodding their heads just as effortlessly.

I don't owe the internet any more sources than the tweet. I don't owe anyone on the internet a full scientific ananysis. And the people's reaction to what I had to say was actually what further convinced me I might have hit the nail on the head.

[ninbinary]

DnD Character Backstory Datapoints - Example 1: Human Orphan Lives Dangerously

Hey, thank you to @kursed-curtain (who tumblr will not let me "@", good application u got here) for reblogging my DnD Character Backstory Datapoints suggestion :) (It goes without saying you could ideas like this for non-RPG character or story generation too, and could add more dice representing different things!)

In thanks, I decided to type up an example of me using it to create a (reallly overly-in-depth -- this is gonna be a long post!) character backstory idea from thin air.

(Let me know if you guys out there like this, and I'll do it again sometime! Also let me know if you use this datapoints-system to create a chararacter (or feel free to use this character backstory), and let me know how it goes!)

A) Human character, Younger (d2 + 1 periods)

(I'll refer to the character as "Character", and I'm not doing anything to bake Character Class in to the story (though I'll talk about that at the end), to try to make this as "generic" as possible!)

A0) number of time periods:

d6 roll of 4 = d2 roll of 2; +1 = 3 time periods.

A1) First Time Period:

d12 = 10 [10/12 Danger]

d10 = 6 [6/10 City]

d8 = 1 [1/10 Species Diversity]

That's an Extremely dangerous time, in a Relatively Urbanized area, with only 1 kind of species. Given that its the First time period for a started-adventuring-younger character, I think my overall summary would be:

"Abandoned Orphan in a Medium-Sized Exclusively-Human City"; they spend their early years with a few slightly-older orphans living in alleys and stealing food.

(Alternatively, other interesting ways you could interpret this: if your gameworld has "bad guy countries / city-states" near your "generally friendly demihuman species", you could do these dice as "orphan human in a [bad guy species] city")

A2) Second Time Period:

d12 = 11 [11/12 Danger]

d10 = 3 [3/10 City]

d8 = 3 [3/10 Species Diversity]

Wow, it's somehow gotten MORE dangerous for poor Human Character; but its also only half as Urban, and they're finally around a few more species of Demihuman. How would moving OUT of the city be MORE dangerous? Well, 'city invaded' is always an option, but because of the other two dice, here's how I'd turn these dice into a story point:

"Character's youth life of petty crime / cutpurse-ing for basic necessities finally ends in trouble so serious that they flee the city / their orphan-gang / the only home and family they've known, and join up with a travelling caravan." Depending on how "dark" you want the character to be, you could take it any number of ways; but let's say you want a Shit-Life-but-Charitable character and go with: one of their pickpocketting sorties goes bad, and as the pack scatters, Character and a close friend get caught in a blind alley by a city guardsman. Character is at the top of a ladder while Friend is scrambling up, but the guardsman is closing in, sword drawn, so Character throws a brick and kills the guardsman. Friend gets away, but before Character escapes, the next wave of guard sees their dead comrade and gets a good look at Character.

Character makes arrangements ASAP to sign on as a caravan guard, calling in favors to get semi-respectable looking leathers (and maybe the dead guards' sword) and a forged letter-of-reference from their gang's fence. Within a nervewracking 24 hours of lying low, Character's friends have managed to sign them on to a caravan, and one last sprint through the city's allies and undermaintained warehouses later, Character is all set. The next morning they're marching out the city gate with a 4-wagon, 15-individual caravan, run by a halfling merchant, taking fancier fabricks and fashionable metalworked jewelry to the more rural human/halfling backcountry outside of the city.

(So, here all the Danger is about the transition TO this period of Less-City, More-Species-Diversity time period). Let's see how it wraps up with Third Time Period:

A3) Third Time Period:

d12 = 10 [10/12 Danger]

d10 = 9 [9/10 City]

d8 = 2 [2/8 Species Diversity]

Oh dear; danger DOES seem to follow poor Character around! We're back to a Lot of danger, in an EVEN BIGGER CITY, around only a Few different species. How should this conclude Character's pre-Adventure story?

Well, since its so dramatic (STILL Danger, BIGGER City!), its going to end with such a bang, you'd probably want to think about where Campaign's going to begin.

(One way to read the Danger is by saying, "the caravan was raided and the survivors were taken prisoner", but how does that result in such a high City number (while the Species Diversity stays pretty low)? For example, if City stayed low, you could have Character be prisoner of a small bandit camp operating out of a wooded area.)

Well (and if this fits with the campaign setting), we could read it this way:

"the Caravan was raided by marauders from Underground-living [Species X], which hasn't been active in this area for decades..." The survivors were taken back through Species X's New Outpost in this region, and then a select few (including Character) were sent to the capital for one of the following unsavory ends (Ritual Sacrifice, or Gladitorial Combat, or Being Eaten at a Feast Celebrating the New Outpost, etc).

Fortunately for Character, one of the Species X jailors becomes sympathetic because.. they take pity on Characters' youth; or because of the Character's brazen tenacity defending a fellow prisoner from the head jailor's abuse [hey, tying back to their killed-a-guardsman moment], or something; and arranges for Character to be smuggled out of Species X City into the surrounding countryside.

(Another Alternative Idea, had One Dice Gone a Different Way: maybe if Species Diversity was higher, the Species X City could have enough different kinds of folks walking around that you could think about letting Sympathetic Jailor take on Character as a servant, apprentice or even adopted child -- albeit temporarily, or else they'd never be a player-character meeting up with the party. But it would definitely be interesting to see what a Human Orphan from the Mean Streets of [Medium-Sized Human City] would be like after spending their formative years as Adoptive Mindflayer Dad's protege).

Anyway, Wrapup:

Now a long way away from their 'home' city and probably home country (remember, they were captured by Species X nearby, but then moved days (or weeks) travel underground to Species X Huge City), Character finds their way to [wherever the Party starts], and will hopefully have a much less dangerous life just killing monsters and collecting treasure.

Character would definitely have a lot of street-smarts, might have a "I will survive no matter what" mentality, a healthy disrespect for law-and-order, probably standoffish about friendships but a deep loyalty to those they get close to (many of these being Great traits for an adventuring party!).

There's a lot of ways to tweak this outline to make them more "dark and moody" or give them different responses to their travails (if you wanted to make them more of a "mad dog", or utterly ruthless), and there's also room for plot hooks (who were their parents? What happened to their Orphan Gang back home? Does [their original city] have enough intra-city communication that their guardsman-killing will haunt them (for example, make the guardsman they killed someone with connections or seniority, so there's someone with a big axe to grind about eventually getting the guardsman's killer)? Did they grow close to some of their fellow Caravan people and did any of them survive the attack?)

Also if you have a specific character class in mind you can tweak bits of this -- Rogue or Warrior types fit perfectly, but a more Wizard-y character class could certainly fit too: you could play up their burgeoning powers, and have power flare-ups central to Character's 2 dramatic acts -- when they killed the Guardsman in Second Time Period, and have it be the reason that Sympathetic Jailor helped them in Third Time Period.

Thanks for reading all this, anyone who made it all the way through, and let me know what you think! (And no thanks to Tumblr, whose Text Popup stopped letting me type certain letters -- I wrote the actual Character Creation thing in a textfile cuz it was so long, but I then had to compose the incidental comments / intro in a textfile too then copy-paste-format it into this tumblr window >:P)

[plainvanillapotato]

the 100 diaries S1 E5

quarantine diaries: may 23 2020

season 1 episode 5: “Twilight’s Last Gleaming”

is the title a reference to the american anthem? cuz if so remember fergie? 

bet you wish you could go back to those good old days

anyway back to the show

finn and clarke. its a cute ship but i dont think that its endgame especially with raven coming down to stir the pot but also because i’ve read some of y’alls urls...

population reduction. nice way to say mass murder. 

what are the actual odds that raven would actually land close to where the 100 is at? cuz i have a feeling its not high but plot i guess

for someone is really about hope and being optimistic clarke really said why would i wish on a shooting star “its just a rock burning up in the atmosphere”

*after seeing raven’s pod enter the atmosphere* “please tell me they brought down some shampoo”- a girl that bellamy is sleeping with...I am this girl and this girl is me. Cuz homegirl is asking the real-life questions. like do they have toilet paper what about pads or tampons i assume no and umm big yikes. but when we all panic bought toilet paper wow that was only a couple of weeks ago. also what these kids really need are some goddamn condoms. cuz from what i’ve seen they are not fit to be parents.

these fools out here thinking that the ark is dropping supplies but its just raven very horny for finn. little does she know about finn and clark. is this a train wreak waiting to happen yes think so...uh oh spaghettios

clarke watching finn and raven reunite big awkward 

also can we please talk about how raven literally crash landed but her eyebrows are still on fleek. i could never.

love how octavia calls bellamy “bell”--> please tell me that someone has photoshopped bellamy’s face on bell body from beauty and the beast if so please reblog with the image cuz i need it in my life

bellamy cutting out the radio and throwing it in the creek-->once again bellamy proves that he’s out here just to save his own skin but ok yeah i understand it like ngl i would do the same

i dont understand thelonious. one episode he’s like no kane who the tf do you think you are? you can’t go around and kill people and then in this episode he’s like ok so imma kill myself and leave you in charge :/

abby negging theloniuous to not kill himself...wow now i see where clarke gets it

oh Octavia...im clumsy too.

maybe its because im rewatching atla but bellamy talking about how jaha deserved to die reminds of jet and the freedom fighters. it might also be because bellamy’s hair in this episode is a lot like jet’s. 

see... jet vibez

i know in one of my other posts i compared bellamy to zuko but as of rn he’s more of a jet (charming yet ruthless leader of a group of kids) especially back to whatever episode where he did a speech about privilege and wanting the upper class to do the work for once--> very reminisce of Jet and the freedom fighters. both bellamy and jet are very bitter towards those in power because they did wrong toward their family members. BUT also season 1 of avatar where jet is willing kill a village just to get rid of the fire nation is similar to bellamy wanting everyone to take off their wristbands despite clarke’s warning about how the need the aid of the ark to survive

and yes im aware of the comparison between bellarke but zutara now idk about that because zutara holds a special place in my heart. honest to god there was so much parallels between the two (twin flames) and foreshadowing you can’t convince that the two are not soulmates. i’ll wait and see tho

abby really released the video that she essentially killed her husband for creating. ok. and then she pretend that the council was the one responsible for his death when she was the person that gave him up. playing the hero when you’re actually the villain

aww the dad is gonna voluntarily die to help his daughter...my heart

side note: what is the life expectancy of people on the arc cuz the oldest person i’ve seen (kane’s mom) could not have been older than 75

wow they really didn’t see the signal from earth great. just great. is it just me or is how they killed the people on the ark remind you of gas chambers? idk this episode was very sad and depressing for me

also now clarke wants to wish on a star? is that character development or is she just salty about finn and raven?

fuck....Octavia is dead that or i predict that she becomes the princess of grounders kind like how princess leia was taken in by the ewoks (and before anyone gets any ideas no I do not consider grounders as lesser beings if anything i think that they are superior to the spacers i’m just spewing out random shit)

also major side note: where the hell is this asian lady on the ark. the last i saw of her was the pilot episode so where is she?? did they cut out of the story??!

....i was very curious and annoyed so i looked it up and yes. they did fucking cut her out. wtf did they really just bait me with diversity in the pilot. I’m honestly mad because as an Asian american i like to see representation which is why i was so happy to see female asian american on screen when i watched the pilot. now im angry. while i know that diversity is not a big deal to some people it is to me and i really don’t appreciate the 100 showing all these diverse faces in pilot to only to just cut them out of the show. seriously wtf (monty better have a badass storyline) 

don’t worry i’ll keep watching the show and blogging but rn im just really disappointed in the show. like really please don’t dangle diversity in my face when you’re just gonna snatch it away

[porkchop-ao3]

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 10)

A Hearty Breakfast

A trip to the saloon and some deep conversations. 

I hate to ask, but as someone who is new to this fandom I would appreciate the help in getting my work actually seen by people, so if anyone is enjoying this fic and is feeling generous, some reblogs would be appreciated!

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

-

Arthur rode us straight into town towards the saloon; I hadn't been in there for a while. The last time I had, it'd been the night my horse got stolen. I wondered if by chance we would see the bastard who took her, but it wasn't likely. Arthur tethered up the horse and climbed down, offering his hand to me; I took it as I hopped down, swooning inside at the act.

We'd been silent for a long while and I was beginning to feel awkward. I felt like I should ask him if he was okay, but at the same time it'd been so long since we said anything that it felt out of the blue, like I'd left it too long. Or maybe he didn't want to speak about it. Or maybe I was over thinking things and I should just ask him, for Christ's sake.

“How're you doing?” I asked as we entered the saloon. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye as he settled into a seat at the bar. I took the one next to him.

“Just fine,” he told me, but his tone was a little monotonous and disappointed. “I don't know about you, but I fancy a drink.”

“This early?”

“Sure. Whiskey, please,” he said to the barman before looking at me expectantly. “You joining me?”

“Um, alright. I'll have the same,” I nodded.

“What food you got?” Arthur asked the man behind the bar.

“We have oatmeal, at this time in the morning,” he explained.

“That'll do me jus’ fine. That alright with you?” He asked me, and I nodded again. Arthur put some money on the bar and the barman poured our drinks before turning away to get our food.

“Whiskey and oatmeal. Sure is a hearty breakfast,” I said with a quiet laugh as he downed his drink. Arthur didn't respond, rolling the empty glass between his thumb and forefinger, deep in thought. The barman placed our food in front of us, and I thanked him.

I sipped at my whiskey rather than downing it in one, then tucked into the oatmeal.

“Once again I've been disillusioned,” Arthur said quietly. With my mouth full of food I couldn't question him, but I didn't need to. “You know, I thought maybe she was reaching out to me because she cared for me. Maybe somewhere deep inside I had a little hope that we might…” he trailed off, then placed some more money under his glass, sliding it over to the barman for a refill.

“I know it's silly. She and I would never work, her life is so different from mine. But, there was always hope,” he continued, downing a second shot, sucking in air through his teeth at the burn.

“I'm sorry, Arthur,” was all I could say. What else was there?

“She only wanted my help. I suspect she asked me because she knows I always fawn over her every need like a fool. And I probably would've done this time, if you weren't there,” he looked up at me. “But she's gonna have to find someone else.”

"A lady like her, I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard," I said quietly and he frowned a little.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't need to tell you she's beautiful," I explained. Arthur kept his eyes on mine for a little while before they flitted away, and he looked forward at nothing in particular.

"That she is," he agreed. "And she's a good woman. She's a whole package, she just… her family don't like me. She always wanted to change me, but asking me to change is asking me to abandon everything I've ever cared about. The only thing that's real to me, the men who raised me," he swung an arm back in a vague gesture towards the camp.

I stared at him as he spoke, noticing a certain kind of flame appearing in his eyes.

"And I just can't do that. Not for her, not anybody. It's a shame, is all," he looked down at the oatmeal and with a sigh he picked up his spoon.

"Loyalty is very important to you, isn't it?"

"Of course it is. If you ain't loyal to something, what do you even work towards?" He glanced at me. It made me think; what was I loyal to? I'd been left with no person to be loyal to.

"Survival," I offered. He considered my response as he chewed on his breakfast. He swallowed before speaking.

"If you're just trying to survive, then I guess that's called being loyal to yourself."

"I suppose you could look at it like that," I nodded.

"I guess what it all comes down to is figuring out what's most important to you," he said as I finished off my glass of whiskey. He flagged down the bartender to bring us two more before continuing. "For me that's the gang. What is it for you?"

"Right now it's getting my life together, finding me a tent and some weapons."

"That's interesting. I got a tent packed away on my horse – plenty of weapons too – what stopped you from just riding off into the sunset when I was talking to Mary?"

"I make a point of not screwing over the people who help me. You and the rest of the gang have kept me alive all week, you've shown me such kindness. I'd've been up shit creek without John's help. I'm not a saint but I ain't one to bite the hand that feeds me."

Arthur nodded slowly as he listened to my answer, eyes narrowed just slightly in consideration.

"That, and I don't doubt your ability to hunt me down and gut me if I did," I added, watching Arthur's face shift into amusement. "Lone wolves don't last long by making a bunch'a enemies."

"Lone wolves don't last long full stop, if ya' ask Dutch," Arthur said through his chuckles.

"Well, I ain't asking him."

Arthur stopped laughing and looked at me, seriously. "You're really hell bent on getting out of here, back on your own two feet, huh?"

"I am,” I answered without leaving a pause between us. Arthur took in my straight faced expression for a while then gestured to the fresh shot in front of me.

"Get that down you," he said, picking up his own. We necked them simultaneously.

-

I wasn't much of a daytime drinker, this was the first time I'd ever really drank before evening rolled around. Heck, the times I drank were few and far between regardless of what time of day it was. But Arthur kept on buying us drinks one after the other as he spoke about his life, and we were getting a little tipsy.

He told me about Dutch and Hosea and how they'd brought him up, practically like a son of their own. He told me about how the others had joined, how Charles was the newest after Sadie, after me. I'd been surprised when he'd counted me, as if I was a part of the group. It was odd being thought of like that, actually considered being part of a whole, or thought of at all, really. It made me feel something unfamiliar but not by any means unpleasant. I didn't dwell on it.

I'd stopped him from ordering another shot, reminding him that we still had to get ourselves back to camp, and pried him away from the bar. We were sitting side by side outside the saloon on the deck, legs dangling off the edge near where Jet was hitched. He'd asked me about my life, and I'd told him everything, answering all his questions, letting go of all of my past like word vomit.

"My ma and pa died years ago. We all caught the flu, was a time where I thought we were all gonna die," I was saying, leaning back on my elbows and getting dirt on my blouse carelessly. Arthur was watching me over his shoulder, smoking a cigarette. "We all just got worse and worse, but me and my brother pulled through. Our folks were older and weaker, so," I trailed off with a soft shrug of my shoulders. I only felt a little emotional, I'd come to terms with it a long time ago.

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said.

"Yeah, well, folks die. Everyone's lost someone."

"You're allowed to be sad about it," he twisted his upper body to better face me, but turned his head to exhale smoke so he wasn't puffing in my face.

"Sometimes I am," I nodded. "Wouldn't be human otherwise, but life goes on. One day it'll be me in the ground, and I'd rather spend my time focusing on what's happening now than what's in the past."

"That's wise," he said. "Guess that's part of why I didn't wanna get wrapped up with Mary again. That's all in the past."

"You'll find someone who's right for you, there's a person for everyone. 'Course I'm just regurgitating what my mama told me and I never used to listen, so I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to tell me to shut it," I snorted.

"You don't believe you'll find someone?" He questioned and I sighed, chewing on my lip for a while.

"I don't know. If it happens, it happens. I ain't never looked for anyone, maybe if I put in the effort I would, but I suppose I haven't really thought much about romance before," I admitted and he nodded in understanding. "Nobody's ever approached me in that way, at least not for anything serious. Most I've had is filthy propositions from drunk men in saloons with rings already on their fingers."

"And what do you do when that happens?" He asked me, cocking a brow.

"Usually I rob 'em," I smirked, making him laugh and shake his head.

"I don't blame you," he said, flicking his spent cigarette into the mud. He leaned back on his elbows too, putting us close together. I felt warm and my heart sped up. "You can surely handle yourself, out there. But I gotta understand why you're so set on being alone anyway. Ain't you enjoying being surrounded by folk who have your back?"

"Of course I am. I like being where I am for the most part, I feel safer, for sure. But I just…" I sucked in air through my teeth as I struggled to find reasoning. Abigail and John sat in the forefront of my mind, and right at the tip of my tongue.

"Go on," he nudged me and I met his eyes, his face was only a few inches from mine but neither of us moved away.

"I don't much like how I've been coming across," I confessed to him.

Arthur frowned, looking adorably confused; exacerbated by his drunkenness.

“I just keep showing myself up. I mean, first of all I turn up in the middle of the night, lookin’ a state and clinging onto some feller who's just saved my hide. Karen already thought I was pathetic then, always needing saving," I started, feeling it all welling up inside me, and I was pulling the cork.

“There's no shame in needing saving once in a while. I've been saved plenty of times, Dutch and Hosea; they saved me," he pointed out, and while that was true it by no means made me feel better.

“But then I seemed to make myself look even worse, and you're gonna think this is silly…"

"Try me."

"Did it look like I was throwing myself at John?"

"John?" He blurted out, a disbelieving laugh bursting from his chest. I averted my eyes and frowned.

"Karen thought he and I were gonna have an affair, that's what she said, no doubt Abigail thinks that too. I reckon she hates me.”

“An affair? What on earth are you-”

“I ain't like that. I told you I ain't ever loved no one and that was true. I ain't felt anything close. I never meant for it to look that way, I like John but I ain't like that. But I'm here five minutes and I've somehow got people thinking I'm some sorta hussy or homewrecker," I sat upright, and Arthur moved with me.

“You'd be wise taking anything Karen says with a pinch of salt. She likes stirring things up, I reckon.”

“And then of course there's you," I turned and looked at him, unable to stop myself from spilling my guts. I said whatever was on my mind whenever I had a few drinks.

“Me?” He smacked a hand on his chest, a kind of dread in his eyes as he tried to think of what he'd done wrong.

“I acted like such an idiot that night in Blackwater, I never thought I'd see you again, but here we are. And I still keep acting like an idiot.”

“Pssht, you worry far too much about stuff that don't matter. You ain't acting like anything, what the heck are you thinking?”

"I've already ran my mouth enough. Ignore me, and don't let me drink again," I grumbled, shaking my head.

"No, hang on, I don't get what you're saying," he frowned, taking my arm in his hand and urging me to look at him. "I don't think you're an idiot, as far as I can see you ain't done anything stupid."

"You can't tell me you don't remember the sorts of things I said back in Blackwater," my face was positively burning up but the alcohol on my tongue pushed me further. "That was downright embarrassing. For both of us!"

"So what, you got drunk and made some dirty jokes to a stranger, you think I ain't done worse?" He hadn't let go of my arm yet and it felt so impossibly hot.

“I saw you laughing, last night, when I said you were handsome. And I don't blame you one bit, I know I'm the last person–”

“Hey, hold up. I never laughed… did I?” he frowned, deep creases forming between his brows, his pretty blue eyes flicking back and forth between my own.

“You wanted to, at least.”

“I don't know, maybe I did, but it ain't how you think it is," he let go of my arm and turned to face forward, running a hand over his stubble.

“It's okay, I understand. I'm not the prettiest, nor am I good for much. Me saying that sort of thing to you is just silly."

Arthur sighed and I swore I caught him roll his eyes. “If you must know, you flustered me.”

“Flustered.”

“Yeah. You caught me by surprise, I didn't know what to say. You just came out and said it and there weren't nothing behind it but sincerity, there ain't been many women who've said that to me without offerin’ herself for a fee," he was getting fidgety, gesturing a lot with his hands as he spoke, continuing to face forwards without looking at me.

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Believe what you will, but you shut me up good and proper," he finally glanced at me. Were his cheeks pink or was I just imagining things? "You're a pretty girl, regardless of what you say about yourself."

"You honestly think that?" I asked him, going still and feeling odd.

"Well I ain't lying to make you feel better," he shrugged, then scooted forwards and pushed himself to his feet. He swayed a little. "You wanna head back, now? Susan's no doubt gonna give me an earful over this, but..."

"Do we have to?"

Arthur thought about it for a moment. "No, I guess we don't."

We remained quiet for a moment, me still sitting down, him standing in front of me. He held my eyes, though, refusing to look away and keeping my attention.

"Ride with me," he said, gesturing with his head towards his horse before going over to it. He dragged his feet a little, walking with far less poise than he usually did. I wasn't looking forward to mounting a horse with so much whiskey in my stomach, but at least I wasn't wearing a frock.

I pushed myself up and made my way over to him, he was trying to get his foot in the stirrup. When he finally managed, he pulled himself aboard with as much grace as a one legged donkey and I couldn't help but snicker. He smirked at my amusement and held his hands out to me, I held onto one as I pulled myself up onto the horse. It took me a moment to figure out how to shift from laying across its back on my stomach, but Arthur pulled me into position with a drunken laugh.

He reached for the reins, hands finding the braid in jet's main. He inspected it for a moment, puzzled. "You do this?" He asked.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"No, I ain't– that's cute," he let out a little laugh and I shifted so I was hiding my face behind him. He let the braid go without undoing it, though it was falling out a little on its own. "Anyway, my thinking is we go for a little ride, try and be sober by the time we head back. It's barely just past noon and we drank a little more than's good for us," he snorted.

"Who's faults that?"  

"Mine," he laughed, though my question was rhetorical.

"We ain't that drunk," I reassured him with a chuckle.

"Yeah but we ain't sober, neither," he snorted.

Arthur was leaning into me a little as we rode, and I was leaning into him. Pressed together, our bodies were a little more stable, and as much as it made me feel a little funny inside I certainly didn't mind the closeness. Arthur smelled good, I was surprised that the hint of perspiration on him was actually pleasant. I never thought that sweat could smell good, but mixed with this sort of sweet, smokey smell of his, I kept on breathing through my nose.

[kitty-bandit]

All the numbers for the salty ask meme XD

Anon, you seem to know I’m a Secret Salt Queen. XD

Also, this is ALL for DGM.

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Honestly? I may hate a few ships, but I can see the appeal of them. Even certain crack ships. Like, just because I don’t find it appealing doesn’t mean I can’t see why others might like it.

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

The only real BRoTP I have in DGM is Allen x Lavi x Krory. I think those three are adorable together in a platonic way.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

ROFL, YEAH. There have been a couple over the years, and some were (at the time) considered good friends. There is at least one BNF who I no longer associate with because they couldn’t handle my anti-censorship/ship-and-let-ship stance, even though we’d been friends for years. (I’d supported this person emotionally and financially when they were in trouble, and even beta read for them/helped out with fan events/written a fic for them.) When the fandom drama got intense and antis started causing shit, I got more vocal about anti rhetoric not having a place in our fandom. This BNF couldn’t handle it and ‘broke off our friendship’. We haven’t talked in probably 2 years.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

Whoops yeah. It’s Yullen. XD Though, I’m not so disgusted when I see the ship anymore, and I’ll even reblog art from time to time. But I don’t go out of my way to seek out content.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

ROFL, you mean Yullen again? Yeah. XD I’m trying to get over my hatred, but it’s a slow process.

6, Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

YUP! Fandom actually got me into Lucky and Poker Pair. I was not a fan of Tyki’s for the longest time (mostly because of OLD fandom portrayals of his character), but a few friends wrote some amazing fics with him and converted into a Tyki lover. XD

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

Not really. I’ve certainly lost interest in writing certain ships, but I’ve never really grown to hate any of them.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

Hahaha, yeah. Mostly antis being assholes because I don’t cower before them.

I’ve also gotten trolled on my fics on ff.net (one of the various reasons I won’t post there anymore). It was nonsensical sexual harassment, but still. It was gross.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

Chaoji. Need I say more?

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Speaking strictly in terms of the manga (because the anime went off on some ridiculous tangent arcs during hiatuses that I just can’t get into), the Mater Arc. It wasn’t bad per se, just… it didn’t interest me. It’s the first real arc for the manga. When I first read/watched it, I hated Kanda a LOT. (Love him now, though.)

And Allen was… not interesting to me. In the early chapters, he felt so flat and dull. The typical nice shounen main character, y’know? OBVIOUSLY Hoshino threw a 180 on that, and now he’s interesting as hell. But yeah, Mater bored me. XD

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I don’t think so?? Most of the unpopular characters are ones I don’t like either.

13. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

If there is a universally unpopular arc, I’m not aware of it. XD

13. Unpopular opinion about ______ character?

I’ll just choose a character I have an unpopular opinion about:

Lenalee

Whenever I see people who yell about others hating Lenalee, I’m confused. I never see this hate, or if I do, it’s so few and far between that it’s not even worth mentioning.

I think it’s a hold over from years back (DGM is like, 15 years old now) when older fandom channeled their internalized misogyny and projected it onto female characters. I lived those days, when a female characters only ‘got in the way’ of your gay ship. (Likely a visceral response to the blatant homophobia in fandom at the time as well, but that’s another story for another time.)

People defend Lenalee without batting an eye, but really? She’s done some shitty things and she’s a rather selfish character. I love her to bits, but she’s not the perfect angel people like to make her out to be.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom?

We’re not the perfect fandom everyone thinks we are. Sure, we’re smaller, so problematic people/things crop up less often, but we still have plenty of issues. We’ve got antis, we’ve got homophonia, we’ve got racism. We’re not perfect.

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

Hallow was good. You’re all just mean. XD

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

MORE LAVI!

17. Instead of XYZ happening, I would have made ABC happen…

Hooboy… What would I change…

OKAY–After the Ark Arc, I would’ve had Allen and Lavi interact more. I wanted to see the aftermath of that! Because before they had left China, Lavi and Lenalee thought Allen was DEAD. And Lavi was Not Okay™. They thought that all the way up until the fight in Edo, when he returns. They almost immediately get sucked into the Ark, and everyone starts dropping like flies after that.

And Lavi’s the last one to ‘die’ in the Ark. Allen watched him fall into the abyss with Chaoji. And he s c r e a m e d.

Yet we have no “I thought you were dead”/ “I thought YOU were dead” conversations. There’s no “I’m so happy you’re alive” conversation and I feel CHEATED.

18. Does not shipping something ‘popular’ mean you’re in denial and/or bised?

I give absolutely zero fucks about what’s popular to ship.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Everyone is a little too Precious™ about Hoshino. I love the woman and all, but some people act like guard dogs if anyone criticizes her on anything whatsoever.

Also, I’m perplexed by this “Don’t share spoilers” mentality lately? What else is fandom for but to share spoilers? People act like sharing the RAWS after the magazine comes out in Japan is somehow tantamount to treason.

Like, bitch. Do you know I’d have to wait 2+ years to see any official translations for the manga? I buy the books when they come out, and since Hoshino writes slow, I depend on our fan-translators to give us something to read before I can get my hands on official merch.

Fan-translations are how small fandoms like us survive when we’re not speaking the official language of the source material. Acting like you’re on a high horse because you buy the Japanese copy, then can’t read it because you have a 3 year old’s grasp of the language, is just dumb.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Laven, IMO. Fite me on it. XD

21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

LOVE ‘EM!!! I’m so here for crack ships. You have no idea.

22. Popular character you hate?

I don’t think I currently hate any popular characters, but I used to hate Tyki and Kanda quite a bit. I love them now, though.

23. Unpopular character you love?

I don’t really have an unpopular character I love. XD I’m just boring like that.

24. Would you recommend DGM to a friend? Why or why not?

Absolutely. I think it’s an amazing manga.

25. How would you end DGM/Would you change the ending of DGM?

LOL WHAT END???

26. Most shippable character?

ROFL, Lavi. I ship that bitch with everyone. XD

27. Least shippable character?

Tiedoll. I’m sorry, I can only see him as the anime equivalent of Bob Ross, and we all know Bob Ross doesn’t fuck.

✧Salty Ask ✧

[atrellas-a]

TEMP. PINNED POST UNTIL I GET MY SHIT UP & RUNNING

independent, very private star wars oc rp. kay atrella (they/he), jedi knight. exploring the effects of growing up in a war, resistance, survival, and survivor’s guilt. est 6/22. loved by puck. 18+ and mutuals only, personals dni. basic rules under the cut. follows back from contrariian.

i. hi! i’m puck, 22, she/they. i’m in grad school & run a bunch of other blogs, so activity here is going to be pretty low.

ii. i only interact with mutuals, and i’m probably going to be relatively picky about who i follow back, moreso than i am with my other blogs.

iii. memes never expire! i try to practice meme karma to an extent, and ask that you do the same, but obviously not every meme is going to fit your muse (and not every meme is going to fit kay!). please reblog memes from the source, not from me.  also, memes are the easiest way to start a thread with me—spam me all you want, and feel free to turn any response into a thread! i don’t answer every meme that comes my way, so having a variety definitely helps.

iv. i use small text in my replies; i don’t require that you do the same. if you need me to use regular text for our threads, just tell me! accessibility is more important than aesthetics. i don’t know if i’ll have icons for this blog—if i do, i probably won’t use them consistently, lmao.

v. i’m multi-ship, and i love shipping. kay is bisexual! there will definitely have to be some plotting, since they’re a jedi—in their younger verse they’re adhering to the code, and in their older verse, they’re on the run—but, like, i’m sure we can figure something out if we think there’s chemistry there.

vi. i’m here for a good time! star wars canon is a shitshow, and i’m a firm believer in taking what i like and leaving what i don’t—and that includes pulling in things from legends canon as it suits me (which i’m more familiar with than current canon anyway, since i grew up on it).

vii. psd is favorite horror movie by tsarinasource

vii. other blogs: @contrariian (multi-muse, with sideblogs for horror ocs @dotsconnected and @forcesmiles) , @spiritdreamt (fandomless oc) , @madeoath (indie stan uris of it 2017) , and @puckrph (my meme resource blog).

QUICK ABOUT:

kay was born in 40 bby on corellia, and taken to the jedi temple as an infant. though they always excelled with more physical aspects of their youngling training, they were a devoted student determined to make the order—whom they considered their family—proud. when mace windu took them as his padawan, that devotion and determination continued. kay was knighted near the end of the clone wars, and survived order 66 only because they were on a council-appointed solo mission. they laid low until the establishment of the rebel alliance, which they quickly joined. only some high-ranking members of the alliance—bail organa and mon mothma, in particular—were aware of kay’s past. it was kept secret from the rest of the rebellion for kay’s own safety.