#i know this parallel has been made a million times i'm just SAD

[softestaries]

I hate it here

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

It's episode 4 If I Can't Reach You / Let My Song Teach You, time for two of my favorite things: glam rock and homosexuals. which are basically the same thing if you think about it.

she's like damn, billy, that was ruthless. honestly this is going to make her care about billy even more, not only he's powerful, not only he reminds her of nicky. now he's a murderer too?? perfect son is perfect. I love how she's studying sharon's body with her detective Agnes face, her mind is going a million miles a minute

her third-wall-break winks destroy me. and that poor hairdo. all gone expect for the giant turd on top.

alice being truly and genuinely sorry about sharon. lilia and jen being gossiping hags

agatha honey you're so dainty and feminine, look at you. and that's an interesting and not at all painful tree shape you picked. (I would have never noticed any of this without brightening the scene, it's outrageous. everyone involved in this show is amazing except the lighting department. shame on you lighting department)

whatever alice does openly and sincerely, agatha does secretly or as a joke. parallels, parallels

jen is like, can you believe this bitch

without being asked, alice goes to help digging the grave

that is the idiot I fell in love with and I'm way past regretting my choices at this point!! I know how rio feels now

"coven two" is one of those lines that make you laugh on first view and shreds your heart in a million tiny pieces at every following rewatch. this show HAS to be watched at least twice, don't ever trust reviews or complaints by ppl who didn't, because they missed at least half of what makes it great.

a clown running from the tragic truth that her son wrote the Ballad, making sad clown noises all over the Road

when alice is called to referee as the Resident Ballad Expert and agatha looks at her expectantly hands in pockets, somehow extremely obnoxious, extremely gay and extremely sad at the same time

alice is SO above bickering. jen is being a baby because she's mad at agatha, lilia is being a baby cause she's grumpy and a contrarian, billy is sixteen, agatha is, well, agatha. alice is the only adult in the building

just one, huh? that's fine. that's fine. who needs a heart anyway.

the common gypsophila or baby's breath symbolizes sincerity, purity, innocence. does it symbolizes sharon? or is billy leaving it on her grave a metaphor for his naivety and good intentions gone wrong?

billy's romantic ideals of what it means to be in a coven have just been shattered. he set out, consciously or not, to teach something to these witches and of course it didn't work. he is the one who needs guidance, he is the one who's making a mess of things. he's just a kid.

agatha going !! when billy says he wishes he could go home. agatha covertly pointing out that he has a replacement body and she would really like to know how. she's observing him so closely, trying to puzzle out the mystery. exactly like she did with wanda inside the Hex. not revealing her cards just yet, testing and manipulating him. when that strategy blew up in her face so spectacularly the first time! she's so smart and so reckless it makes her practically an idiot

case in point: she's making up stupid rules trying to manipulate billy into shaping the Road the way she wants. that's right, agatha. let's summon another poor victim you can siphon, wonder who's gonna show up! (and she KNEW sharon was laying dead ten feet away and SOMEONE was bound to be in the neighborhood. dumbass.)

aww he's so proud of himself for having brought the spellbook. he's being helpful! he's made his four moms happy!

check, debatable, check

debatable and debatable

I'm gonna give that one a BIG check

yes I know advil spells "vidal", thank you tumblr for letting me know that one. also same, alice.

'esse viridis non es facile' IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! oh I knew my high school latin was bound to come in handy at least once in my life

(by the way the set + costumes combo is giving me such hocus pocus vibes, but you could never tell because the SCENE IS SO FUCKING DARK) (NO I WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT)

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

I mean girls, you chose to follow the head clown, you have to travel in the clown car. that's on you.

WHY IS THE PRINT SO SMALL???? I LOVE YOU PATTI LUPONE

admit it we all wished it was sharon for a moment

oh?? is that mayhaps someone you know, agatha???

and that's a wrap, see you guys tomorrow!

no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm doing another one tonight. I need to shove all the rio scenes in my eyeballs NOW

go to episode 4 part 2

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

coney island x mbobhft

WHAT A COMPLETE SHOCK I WONDER WHAT INSTIGATED THIS /ijbol

Sorry for putting you on blast friend but also this is a very unique experience we share 😂

Ah, London N6, a night that will live in infamy for many reasons, not the least of which being IT WAS RARE WE WERE THERE WE REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL.

As many of you will know (and @claudiajcregg literally witnessed next to me as I mouthed WHAT THE FUCK), this is the mashup that broke my brain because it made my third eye open in the rafters of fuckass Wembley Stadium.

Warning: this is going to be a very long one because I am far too personally invested in it 😂

(It's so interesting seeing it from this angle head-on given that we were behind the stage 😂 I don't think I've ever seen it properly lol.)

First of all, My Boy was one of those songs that I loved as a bop when TTPD came out, but then when the voice memo version was released last summer (iirc a few weeks before this?) it made the song click even more pointedly because it made it infinitely sadder (and clearer and maybe confirmed my own inklings but anyway). Looking over my blog archives the day it was released is a trip because it can just be summed up as: IT'S SO FUCKING SAD! The idea that someone who you considered your closest confidant also being the one to help break you into a million more pieces? Devastating! "It sounds sad because I'm sad in general," ugh. But I digress.

Then you have Coney Island, which is where I confess that despite evermore being my favourite album, the song was one I didn't particularly gravitate towards. It's beautiful! It's evocative! It just wasn't one that like, permeated my consciousness all that much. It was one of those "wow she's sure telling a sad story with pretty words" type of things. Until, of course, she combined it with My Boy to maximize their joint slay that wrecked my brain and made me reconsider BOTH of them.

OK ENOUGH BACKSTORY LET'S GET TO THE PLOT 😂

Should've known it was only a matter of time, my boy only breaks his favourite toys... Break my soul in two, looking for you but you're right here, and if I can't relate to you anymore, then who am I related to? I loooooooove that transition! Again, one of the fun parts of the mashups that has become more evident as I've been on this exercise is that sometimes you can see the "hook" lyrically of what makes her craft the mashup. Here, it's the break toys/break my soul parallel.

And I *think* this might have been the point at which my brain went WAIT WHAAAAAAAAAAT in real time lmao. Again, I don't know why Coney Island never quite rooted itself in my brain, although thinking back on it, I do wonder if the fact that it's a duet played a role in that; as someone who tends to gravitate towards melody/sound before lyrics, maybe the fact that it's split between Matt Berninger and Taylor just made the story "split" in my brain? I don't know, but Taylor playing it on her own on the piano somehow made it click haha.

So back to the story of the mashup: You have the start of the story about the a cycle of depression (voices in his head), resentment (only breaks his favourite toys) and lashing out (I'm queen of sandcastles he destroys). And the cycle is on both parts tbh (sickest army doll/rivulets descend my plastic smile). It's a contrast to the early days of the relationship, where she felt like they were something special (but you should have seen him when he first got me/it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night), even though reality would set in and destroy it.

So then enter Coney Island, where she/the narrator is saying: you keep breaking me because you're pulling away from me (ostensibly because of said cycle) and I don't know why. You used to be the person I relied on the most in this world, and now I feel like half of me is drifting away. (At least, that's how I read "break my soul in two.") Like, this person is still physically there, but in every other respect, they're a million miles away. (Looking for you, but you're right here.) You used to be my everything, my other half, but if you're now pulling away from me, how am I supposed to exist in this world without you? (if I can't relate to you, then who am I related to?)

So admittedly this is where the duet vs. solo gets complicated in the narrative lol and I'm probably going to contradict myself just as a warning. But the theme from the start of My Boy is totally reflected in, "If this is the long haul, how did we get here so soon? Did I close my fist around something delicate, did I shatter you?" Again, the idea of: this was supposed to be our forever, yet it seems like we have just hit the beginning of the end. Was it something I did? Did I break you the way you've broken me? Is that why I'm in so much pain? IT'S SO SAD. (And again: is not only very similar to the theme of My Boy, but IMO of TTPD in general.)

The chorus of Coney Island is what this mashup REALLY illuminated for me: The idea of remembering the good times at a spot that used to be yours together, and wondering how the hell you lost sight of each other (lol) and ended up here, broken and alone. "Sorry for not making you my centrefold, over and over" is so ouchie because if it's the narrator singing that, it could almost be a little resentful, like, "I made you the centre of my universe, sorry I couldn't keep doing it again," but if it's the subject, it's like, "sorry I could never prioritize you the way you did me," and either way it's SAD.

"Lost again with no surprises, disappointments close your eyes and it gets colder as the sun goes down," REALLY got me, because it's just so resigned! Like, you keep expecting things to get better, but they don't, and you're just continually disappointed and floored with every setback. There's no grand gesture, no magic cure to save the day, everything just wilts and fades away. "It gets colder and colder as the sun goes down," is just like... all the life in your home and your relationship bleeding out like, well, death by a thousand cuts.

The bridge of Coney Island finally really hit me here because it's like the promise of youth being completely replaced by the jadedness of adulthood. "Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock, did I leave you hanging every single day?" to me just feels like: I knew you were waiting for me [to join you-- and IMO that's a metaphor for "you were waiting for me to be ready for our plans"], but I kept stalling and with every day that I stalled I hurt you even more. Obviously this may be reading too much into it, but I could make a case for the "old spot by the tree line" being a stand-in for a familiar beloved space (e.g. home) and the gold clock being a stand-in for counting down to life plans that had once been on a timeline that no longer were. But this is getting deep into literary analysis instead of a walk down memory lane with the mashup itself 😂 Anyhoo this just gave me more thoughts about another song but we are not going there on main.

And of course, "did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray a universe away" ties into so much of what we hear on TTPD (and imo much of rep through Midnights too), but also calls back to "here we go again, the voices in his head call the rain to end our days of wild," in the My Boy intro of this mashup. Like I said, this is where the duet vs. solo gets complicated if you're looking at it from a performance point of view here 😂 but it makes sense to me. (And to borrow from twitter brain rot, it fits my narrative.) But, this person drifting away emotionally and taking it out on her (a universe away) completely tears her world apart and turns her world into sadness in kind. (Which: again, is the theme of My Boy too.)

And maybe my favourite part of the mashup, thematically and sonically because it brings it all together:

When I got into the accident, the sight that flashed before me was your face, but when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name... but just say when I'd play again, he was my best friend down at the sandlot, I felt more when he played pretend than with all the Kens, cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart, left all these broken parts, told me I'm better off, but I'm not.

It's this idea of: this person loves you more than anything (e.g. your face being the first they see when their life flashes before their eyes), but being unable to show you that kind of love and taking you for granted in spite of it (forgot to say your name). Like, I'd die for you, but I still can't be there for you. THAT IS HEAVY. (Yes, complicated by duet/solo, no, I don't care.) And in spite of it all, I would have still tried again! (And she did, ahem.) Because even when you hurt me, I still loved you more than anyone else! This love felt like it was worth more than the pain it caused, even when I was denying how much it was hurting me! I somehow believed you every time, but I know it was killing me. OOF.

(I could say "told me I'm better off, but I'm not," sounds like "You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?" but I don't mean to veer into muse discourse because the mashup stories stand alone on their own etc.)

In the end, it comes down to "he saw forever, so he smashed it up." If you're looking at it as one full story, My Boy is like the context about the dark place they both find themselves in, and Coney Island fills in the lines about how said boy broke said favourite toy, little by little, until it turns into the destructive force you find in My Boy that leaves her in pieces to pick up on her own. And this is a case where the mashup really deepened my understanding of BOTH songs! Coney Island wasn't just a tale of fading love in the backdrop of the place of childhood dreams, it's a whole metaphor for a shared life disintegrating. And while I got the themes of My Boy instantly, pairing it with a song that's a little more grounded in reality kind of highlights the darkness behind the toy box conceit even further. My Boy sets the stage for the fallout from mental health and personal struggles, and Coney Island shows how that happens.

As an aside, she does some incredible things vocally in this mashup, and the way she belts out "I'm not" repeatedly is one of them! The power! The emotion! Master class in using your voice as a tool to tell a story! From the first quiet "I'm not," to the final angry one, it is a journey!!!

Thank you so much for this bestie!!!! It took me literal hours but it was worth it 😂 Aaah August 2024 you will always be famous.

(And for everyone else: we are still on a moratorium for mashup madness asks because I still have too many to go through lol. I will let y'all know when I am accepting requests again!)

[the-words-we-sung]

Thoughts and pictures - S3E1

So after digesting my first watch a little bit, I'm starting my rewatch of this season and I'll share a few thoughts and reactions (and screenshots) because I can't keep it all to myself 😱

I was happy that we dived directly into the (sort of) trial and confrontation between Wilhelm, Simon and August. I do wonder how much time passed between the speech and this scene though. It sets the tone for the entire season for Wilhelm: he's gonna be alone, with no support whatsoever from his parents. He enters the room alone, his parents arrive after him and his mother doesn't even look at him... Simon arrives with his mother and August with his stepdad. But Wilhelm has to deal with the situation alone (aka how to get incredibly mad at Kristina barely 5min into the season 😤)

Simon looks so pretty and so sad. (And how did Omar manage to look even younger this season??) He wants to be done with this whole thing. Also I checked but 1.2 millions kronor is not as much as I thought it would be (it's apparently around 107 000€, which is not bad, but I was expecting more)

I see what you did there Simon 😏 (Can someone gif this scene and put it in parallel with Wilhelm seeing Simon's room for the first time and saying "cozy" in season 1? :p)

The boys coming back to the meeting: very smooth. Nobody knows what you were doing. Nop. Not at all. (We can see Linda kinda smirking when Simon sits back whereas Kristina looks like she just ate a very sour lemon). Wilhelm arranging his hair and Simon smiling at him: they might be in the middle of an important meeting and at the Palace but they're still 2 teenage boys in love (and I love them for that 💜)

Rickard looked and sounded like such an idiot in the previous seasons that I didn't expect him to actually be competent! But I guess we were mostly seeing him through August's eyes... I know Rickard said he was the best lawyer in the country but I have to admit that I thought he was just bragging ^^' Also: August is such an asshole. Did he really need to rile up Wilhelm like that? He's got quite the confidence to attack him and tell him how he just fuck things up on his own, in front of everyone like that, including the queen. Who, again, is not defending her son!! She tells them to shut up but she says nothing to August for talking like that to her son 😠

(They look like they've been called to the principal office). Kristina doesn't look at them immediately, she looks at Erik's picture on her desk first. Then she looks at August. And then finally at Wilhelm. She is so awful to him this season... Right from the start. And then she breaks down crying for Erik.

While Wilhelm holds her. I wasn't expecting to see her grieve so much this season. We didn't see that at all in season 2. Is it because she repressed all of her emotions too much? I hate that she breaks down like that just after Wilhelm publicly coming out. How can she not be there for him. I get that it must be hard to lose a son, but she still has a very alive one, who needs her.

Kristina is not getting redeemed in this season but Linda kinda is! I was super happy to see her get in mama bear's mode at the trial ^^ It was about time!! But here: I'm sorry Linda but it's not your son's role to keep you updated about what's going on in your house! You're the mother! Stop putting everything on this kid's shoulders!! Maybe he never tells you but do you ever ask??

Simon being truly angry at Sara is so good. I am so happy so he's able to feel that way and to not feel like he has to repress it, to forgive her, to help her. She did something truly bad and he's allowed to be mad. Also look at his angry lil' face 💜

In things that made me laugh: Wilhelm's reaction and face to learning that Simon is grounded all semester xD He was talking all smoothly/flirty and then his tone changes so dramatically when he realizes he won't be able to get his boyfriend in his bed very soon! Horny boy is horny (and frustrated :p)

This faaaaaace ☹

I'm happy to see that Simon still has Ayub and Rosh here to support him. I wish they would have told him that replying to comments online was a bad idea though. You know the saying kids: don't feed the trolls!!

Wilhelm looks like such a normal teenager when he gets back to his room. First time we see him so carefree. It breaks my heart to know that on the other side Simon is so unwell already.

Wilhelm waking up happy and smiling. And being just a teenager (for the first time in a very long time): thinking about his boyfriend, redrawing the heart on his hand. It's such teenager things!! My boy just wants to have a normal life... (And then he's immediately reminded that he's actually not just a regular teenager with Farima's text).

Simon's worried face when he asks about Wilhelm's initiation. You can see he's truly horrified at the idea that he might have gone through what's been described in the article.

And then it starts: the piling up of everything on Wilhelm's shoulders. First his mother looking really unwell and breaking down (even though she hasn't been said to be officially ill yet), and now the negative impact of his speech on the school... Which Vincent takes great pleasure in reminding him about.

This first episode is really good at setting things in motion. We see already the beginning of what's gonna go down during this season: Simon not feeling well, dealing with online hatred, struggling with his new place next to Wilhelm in the spotlight. And Wilhelm trying to finally live a carefree life at school with his boyfriend now that he's officially out but slowly getting crushed under the pressure of his role as Crown Prince and the increasingly obvious lack of support from his parents.

[teekays]

Davo for the character ask thing please!

this one took me so long because i have THINGS to SAY. i have cried in an airport over connor mcdavid. lets begin

First impression

i will be so real when i first got into hockey i totally fell for the like... this guy is the BEST agenda. mostly because i think i noticed that the praise he got was SO strong and i wanted to know what made him so good as opposed to other guys but i also noticed he got a lot of hate for being boring and i was like... they're all boring. why do we hate him for being boring specifically? and that led me on a quest to tease out The Connor Mcdavid Story

Impression now

i'm a mcdefender sorry. i know!! he's the most interesting guy in the world actually. like he IS boring but that is so clearly a purposeful obfuscation of whatever else he's got going on there that he developed because of course you're not going to just have your heart out there in the open as a first overall who's been hyped up for years as the Next One placed on a flop team in a flop city... it's also interesting to have seen that kind of relax a little bit in recent years and i think that relaxing is directly parallel to him becoming a little less like. black and white in his thinking which he very much was for a long time. like he's someone with a very strong sense of right and wrong and very strong ideas about How Things Should Be Done and as that has loosened up (because that's not conducive to like, being alive yknow) and as he's gotten more secure in his position he's gotten a little more willing to put himself out there which is fun. the morals thing does come out sometimes tho in that he will speak up if he feels like he needs to in the name of fairness. also i find his like, earnestness and the ways he's different than the nepo babies of the hockey world to be deeply charming even when they suck. like he's a shill grinding for his money but he's honest about it and i have to respect it. make your terrible millions and have a zero tolerance policy for being irreverent and Too Cool for the media while doing it. go white boy go

Favorite moment

sitting on mitch's lap in the everglades was a foundational babygirlism but also. right after the draft i don't remember who it was but little baby connor freshly in that oilers jersey was like "why are you ripping him to shreds rn he literally just got drafted" it makes my heart break into a million pieces i feel like when spongebob lost gary. because that's sooo... it's not him anymore really. but it will always be him and who he was.

Idea for a story

my sick and twisted mind has been percolating Mccareer ending injury for so long because i would like to see him freed from the shackles of hockey and having to build a life outside of what that means to him. who is connor mcdavid? find out next week when he escapes to a beach for a week and hates it

Unpopular opinion

say it with me now. estrogen could fix him! but also once again i think he is much less miserable than people want to think and if he is then it's justified. he lives in edmonton. you'd be sad too. also i covered this but he's actually a little freak and not boring at all if you know how to look at him!!!

Favorite relationship

i'm a mcstrome warrior til i die hashtag Your dead best friend is walking up the stairs hashtag I ain't a kid no more we'll never be those kids again. that being said i think also him and leon should get married. and another thing this may be also an unpopular opinion BUT i am actually so obsessed w ambitious girlboss lauren kyle and the way she so clearly runs their whole lives and he's so deeply okay with that... i think a common hockey boy trait is kind of always wanting to be told what to do because that's what you've done your whole life but to see someone quietly own it that way is so fun to me. i think she should lean into it and be like the tweet that's like "if two guys were in love with me i would manipulate them into doing gay shit together"/"if i had two boyfriends i'd dress them up like twins" with connor and leon and like leon is there for connor's benefit but she makes him think it's her idea so as not to upset the delicate balance. yknow?

Favorite headcanon

this is also from what we've seen mostly based in fact but he's absolutely dogshit at other sports. like. some guys are athletes and other guys are hockey players and he is absolutely a hockey player to his core. hilarious

[9w1ft]

Can I just say, since we're on the topic of Hoax, how beautiful the- 'Don't want no other shade of blue but you' line is? Because for me it beautifully parallels Dancing with Our Hands Tied's line 'Say that we got it. I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted'.

We can clearly see the progress of the lovers' journey:

Deep blue but you painted me golden -> I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted -> She built a fire just to keep me warm -> My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue -> It's so excruciating to see you low, just wanna lift you up and not let you go -> I don't wanna look anything else now that I saw you.. I only see daylight -> For you I would ruin myself a million little times -> But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm if your cascade ocean wave blues come -> I'd swing with you for the trenches -> I'd give you my sunshine give you my best -> Don't want no other shade of blue but you, No other sadness in the world would do

So in the beginning she was the mess, the "Blue", but her lover was willing to accept all of it to be with her. Her lover gave her her sunshine or warmth initially (given that her lover is a literal sunshine too). But we can see during Lover and folklore, the lover is slowly losing her 'sunshine', the blues that had only been present in Taylor's description of herself, is now showing up on the lover. Is her lover turning blue because she chose to be with Taylor? In keeping her promise to be with her, she becomes the mess too. But the beauty of it is Taylor now in turn becomes the sunshine too, the warmth for her lover (as seen in Peace and Hoax). You could just see that their love is strong because they know what being together will do to them publicly and privately (in a mental and emotional sense), but still they choose each other. No matter what, they choos each other 😭 that's so beautiful i cant- but anyway, Taylor gave us her REAL ending right?

The Lakes: I'm setting off but not without my muse

Her muse is still in the trenches, still blue, still a mess. And she won't stop until they can both be free. It's her "real ending". She already laid it out for is 😭

yes and the way the music swells a bit when she says “but not without my muse” made me SO EMOTIONAL when i heard it the first time

i have grown to appreciate the growing catalog of songs that get into the intricacies of the mature stages of a long relationship. the for better or for worse of it all. it gives depth and dimension that one would anticipate from a long haul. i’m sure it takes more skill to write and it’s been really cool and meaningful to see taylor’s writing progress in this realm.

[surrealsunday]

helloo! wow it’s been a little while ngl! but when when chap10 was posted i was like “do i read it now or wait till the epilogue is posted? 🤔” and i ended up waiting for the epilogue, idk in my head it’s as logic sjsbdb. meanwhile i decided to rewatch stranger things + skamfr kinda at the same time bc it’s been way too long (for the latter). then the epilogue was posted and haven’t found the time or energy to settle and read the last two chapters (we love uni for that). till tonight!! so here’s my not so little review of the chap10 + the epilogue 😅

-> chap10

woaaah im at loss for words for how cute and beautiful that chapter was omg! the vulnerable moment right after the intensity of their love scene hit me right in the feels, lucas’ “please don’t hurt me (again)” and then eliott hugging him tight saying “i promise” 🥺MY HEART🥺

also these little acts had me giggling and kicking my feet

gosh i’m just so giddy when it comes to them like- THEY. ARE. IN. LOVE. 🥹

OH YEAH the moment when idriss came back home and said “I swear, if you fucked in the kitchen, Eliott -" made me think of that one scene in tempo (i think) when he discovers they did it on the counter and there was like evidences or sth and i just burst out laughing 😭 like i imagined him being so done already with them (/affectionate of course)

-> epilogue

MY HEEAART!! i know i’ve said it like a million times already but i’m so soft for theeem 🥺

i really loved how eliott reassured lucas during the moving, how they once more opened a little to one another. then lucas asking him to say something true abt himself, eliott’s little story was very cute despite starting kinda sad :(( but that little parallel to the minute par minute scene but this time it’s eliott calming lucas down ☹️

but goosh i’m in love with their love, in every universe istg 🥰 like i smiled SO BIG here!

now real thing: i cant believe it’s over now :/ i’m gonna miss them so much, these version of elu is definitely one of my favorite! i wanna thank you for writing this fic that, i’m sure, helped a lot of people (including me) escape their boring ass work/uni life ahah. every time it truly has been an amazing time, even when pain was dominent sometimes. but as always i’d say sjsbsb

wishing you a wonderful friday and weekend, i’m gonna spend mine mourning elu!10things and thinking of how much their love is incredible in every universe 😭💞

gosh i just realized i forgot about to say some more things in my previous message 😭 in my defense it’s 1am so- anyways

i’m also very thankful you listened to the little voice in your brain and wrote that little epilogue, the quote of kat is one of my favorite and it’s really well included! would have been such a waste not having lucas saying this tbh.

also the last pic of chap10, eliott’s post with the shadows…wow i literally stared at it for 10 good minutes it was so well done! especially lucas’ wild hair sbsjsb (also i see you have been generous for some parts 👀)

finally, i thanked you for the fic but i also wanna be grateful to your friend julie for pressing you making this fic alive ahah, bc yeah your elu fic are really one of the most emotionally amazing and still being able to read elu content in, now, 2023 is truly incredible ♥️

Oh my gosh I somehow completely missed the notification for these messages in my inbox. I'm so sorry! I was not ignoring you, I just am a useless human 😂

As always I absolutely love hearing your thoughts. I'm so glad you liked chapter 10 🥹. It was interesting pairing smexy times with some super raw emotional nakedness. I liked it tho. It felt right and natural in the moment.

Your memes btw aldfkjalsdfkja. They kill me 😂😂😂

I thought about Idriss in Tempo too at that moment! I truly don't know why I keep doing these things to poor Idriss lmao. But I make it up to him with Manon. So I don't feel too bad 😌.

Ok, so I very much got minute-by-minute vibes in that moment of the epilogue too, but it wasn't pre-planned that way. I kinda love that you had the same reaction. It just sort of happened and as I was writing it occurred to me that it very subtly nodded to that classic Skam moment. It seems they're determined to be that way in every universe.

Ahhhh the shadow pic! It's one of my faves! I get obsessive about most things (this is not news lmao) so it wasn't surprising that I obsessed over getting those shadows right, but in the end when it did look like them I was sooooo satisfied. And yes, satisfied with the very lovely booty on Lucas too 😌. It makes me so happy you liked it too!

Really it was my absolute pleasure to share this fic, most especially because I seriously do have the best readers in the world, and you all are so generous in leaving me your thoughts and feelings about the story (there is really nothing better than that as a writer). It's a big part of me coming back to Elu over and over, I think. I love reconnecting with all of you. And of course I'm more than happy to provide distraction from real life!

P.S. I told Julie what you said and lemme tell you... the way she got all proud and puffed up on herself 😂😂😂. I told her to take it down a notch but she's already kicking into high gear on harassing me for new stories lol.

Anyways, all the love to you. Thank you again so much for sending me your thoughts as you read the story. 💖💗💞💝

[hanjo-love]

Now I became selfish and I hope the shard is showing Hanji being saved by Kiyomi or something. She go the worst treatment and if Isayama was afraid of the backslash like you said why make it even worse with those parallels with eremika? Is he preparing the Fandom for another levihan moment? I'm tired of EVERYONE surviving but her, Kiyomi's kindness really??? And Onyankopon, while I don't hate him, he survived a plane crash and he doesn't add much yet he is there for being the editor's favorite, Yelena is there after all she did and she adds even less, and the people titanized will revert to human (or at the very least Isayama's favorites will).

Oh anonie, you and me both my friend, you and me both 😔 Beware, a long rant-ish meta is ahead of you lol

I have absolutely no fucking idea why Yams decided to treat Hanjo like shit. You know, after a long time of denying her death, I was starting to accept it, because she was finally free, free of the burden and pain and finally reunited with the people she missed and longed for the most. But then Yams decided to slap us all in the faces saying there's no happy & peaceful afterlife in snk and Hanjo was probs only hallucinating because of her 4 years long depression? Well then, fuck you Yams! What was that even for? Isayama never backed off of showing us the horrors of death in snk, no matter how important the characters and how brutal their deaths really were. Still, he never showed us Hanji's actual death or dead body. He kept it misterious and his vague answers only made it worse. So it's only natural for us to expect a plot twist, right? That's the reason all of us gathered various hints in the manga, anime and his interviews. And lemme tell you, these theories are far more logical, better explained and have less plot holes than the entire final arc smh (yes I'm salty, fight me lol)

I hate to admit it, my inner self is still in denial and fighting, but Hanjo ain't coming back folks. We won't get any background story and the misterious shard will never be explained to us either. Yams had more than enough time to bring Hanjo back, if he truly wanted to. But he didn't. And now with only one chapter and so many unanswered questions left, there's no time for Hange's return. Why would he even do that anyways? Hanjo isn't important to him or to the story anymore. To us she is, always was and always will be ❤️ You know, I'm so fucking desperate to see her again, I'll even take one last panel of Levi remembering her, just like in ch136. Yams just let us see Hanjo one more fucking time 🙏🏻 I need to say my proper goodbyes to my one&only comfort character, who's influenced my life like no one else ever did ❤️

Back to Levihan (I don't think I can answer an ask without my biased and trashy shipper ass butting in lmfao): the question why Yams confirmed Levihan as canon if he didn't intend to bring Hange back and reunite her with Levi to make us him happy again? Well, isn't it obvious? This man is the devil incarnate. THIS MAN HAS NO FUCKING CHILLS lmfao JK y'all before someone declares war on me and my blog haha Well anonie, I feel like Yams really wanted to confirm his initially planned ships as canon, before the manga ends. And he chose the safest way possible. Easy as that. Also he said he is going for a bittersweet ending and what's more tragic (in this literal hell) than separating lovers, ergo Eremika and Levihan.

Now to something else, that's been bothering me for a while now and I'll use your ask anonie to share my thoughts with the world even though nobody asked lmao tbh I'm a bit disappointed with Armin. I love him, I really do. He's my precious cinnamon roll and my fave 104th kiddo. But honestly, I was expecting a bit more of the alleged "hero who will safe humanity". In fact, I'm sure Hanjo only died for Armin to become the new commander. That's it. That was the reason she had to die. Yams glossed over her to make Armin shine. But in fact, Levi's the one who's giving orders ever since Hange has left them. I might me salty, but I really hope the talk with Zeke (and probs Ymir as well, we still might have a chance to see the dialog that made Ymir change her mind) and his titan nuke weren't the only things he did as "humanity's hero" in this final arc. For some people this might me enough, for me it isn't. It wasn't worth Hange's sacrifice. Also what made me really sad was Armin himself glossing over Hanjo when he remembered Erwin Danchou, but not her. Like she didn't just pass away an hour ago to save their pathetic asses. Ugh this is making me hella mad, ngl. Hanjo didn't deserve this treatment! She gave her all for this! To save the alliance, to "pay the price" for her "sins" as the SC commander and to save humanity. I can't deal with how all of them and the fandom apparently forgot about that.

Now on to "Kiyomi's kindness" lol I wasn't really mad at Gabi for saying this as most of the fandom was. I won't go into detail why she isn't really a rationally thinking character (yo guys, you do remember she's a 12 year old kid, right?), but it's a fact that she didn't care for Hange enough to mention her. I mean, why would she? She barely even knew her. Also we don't really know what's gonna happen with Yelena, Kiyomi and her delegation. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but I feel like Kiyomi accepted her death with saying "that's not enough atonement for what I did anyway". I mean they don't know if the alliance will win (they probably think they won't) and they're in the middle of literally nowhere. So I feel like Gabi said that because Kiyomi sacrificed herself (and the others on that ship) willingly, for Gabi, Falco and Annie getting a little chance of surviving and helping the alliance. But I get the rage of the fandom. Especially because no one, except for Levi, remembered Hange after her noble sacrifice.

As for Yelena and Onyankopon, there obviously has to be someone from outside of Paradis to survive the rumbling, otherwise it wouldn't make a lot of sense, I guess. I like Onyankopon a hecking lot ❤️ precious boi was literally crying for Hanjo 😭 Yelena on the other hand deserves what she got. Death would be too easy and kind for her tbh. She has to live with the consequences, just like Kiyomi, so I'm actually glad they survived. So my guess is, it's not really about who's Yams' favorite and what these people are contributing to the story, but it's rather about a logical ending and a good conclusion of the story.

I agree with you about the ones who have been titanized. They'll for sure revert back to humans. It's not really Yams' style to kill of an important character like Gabi, whose character development he's been forcing on us for quite a while now lol. I'm pretty positive about an ending with the titan curse being broken and bringing the titanized people back to human beings (probs also the millions of colossal titans?). It's only natural for Yams to end the story with the titan curse being lifted. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense to end his story at this point. But let's not forget what a big ass troll Yams is lmao you never really know what he's up to, so let's prepare for the unimaginable lmfao

I'll probably never forgive Isayama for what he did to Hange, his best written character, how he completely ruined her and threw her away as disposable, just to make other characters "shine". HER DEATH WAS POINTLESS AND IT DID NOT FUCKING CHANGE ANYTHING! That's the harsh truth y'all. Yams betrayed Hanjo and us AND FOR WHAT?

Thanks for the ask anonie and sorry I turned this into my personal rant lmao hope you still enjoy reading my thoughts on this ❤️

[handonhaven]

So um there is certain group that in this fandom(I'm not gonna name which one but I think it'll be pretty easy to figure out) that have taken to editing articles online to make it seem like their ship is happening and pretty much everything else they wish would happen on the show. Granted the edit to the articles don't last very long before they get changed back. But still I feel like that just a whole new level of sad. To go through all that trouble and they're just feeding into their own "I feel like I been lied to" thing. That's why if it's not one of those websites where Brett and other cast members do their interviews(the website that can't be edit) then I don't pay no mind or believe anything it says

Okay I know I'm really late with this one(and sorry if you answered something like this already) but Lizzie and Josie just made me mad to no end in 3x16. First let me start by saying I get them being upset that Hope ditched them and stole their car. That's understandable. But the fact that they didn't care where Hope was or where she went or if she was okay etc. That made me so mad, and then the only thing Lizzie cared about was making sure Hope would be in a relationship with someone other than Landon(don't even get me started on the comment she made about them and sex 😡😡). Because why shouldn't Hope be with the one person who loves her truly just the way she is. And does whatever he can to make sure she's okay and does whatever he can to help her unlike everyone else at that school, as well as a million other things I could add. And then at the end of the episode when Hope was back at the school both Lizzie and Josie go talk to her and try to act all high and mighty in a way. Asking Hope of it meant nothing to her what happened between them in 3x15. Clearly it meant nothing to Lizzie and Josie because they spent all of 3x16 not giving a crap about Hope. I mean they say they want to be there for Hope and help her and so on but then turn around and do the exact opposite. I honestly can't.

I think I can honestly say after this season. I would sacrifice anyone if it meant that Hope and Landon could be happy. I would throw anyone and everyone under the bus if I had to. Heck I would throw someone to malivore if I had. Just so they could be happy. Because all the trauma they went through these past 3 seasons plus all the trauma they went through before hand. They're done, like let them be done going through trauma. Just let them be happy of once, I don't care who has to pay what price let someone else go through something. I know it would suck for another character to go through pain I do. But Hope and Landon has had 3 seasons of nonstop trauma. That's way more than enough. Just give them a break and let someone else go through something. I don't care who they would throw under the bus to make that happen. Just make it happen, so that way Handon can deal with and possess all the trauma they've been through and move past it and just be happy. I know it's wrong to say let another character through pain so they can be happy, I do. But after three seasons of only them going through some much this is how I feel now. Yes I know other characters went through stuff too, but it was never to the extent to what Hope and Landon have been going through. And they even got a break from it and got to deal with. Hope and Landon have never gotten that.

So my friend came up with this theory that 4x04 is going to be a parallel to 3x04. Because at the end of 3x04 we had to watch as Hope watched Landon melt right in front of her. Which was heart breaking enough by the way. Then the end of 4x04 will be Landon watching Hope die right in front of his eyes. Just thinking about something like that happening just breaks my heart 💔💔💔💔. It was bad enough having to see that once. But they have see that twice.... I think my heart will jump out of my chest and fall into the ocean somewhere never to be seen again. There's no way I could take seeing something like that twice.

Okay so I know everyone has there own thoughts on this one, but I would love to hear yours. So if Klaus was alive and met Landon what do you think he would think of him? I honestly think he would love Landon(even though he wouldn't come out right and say that). For the person he is despite everything he's been through in his life, and how he's always trying to better himself. For how good he is to Hope and how happy he makes her. And for how he's trys to help Hope with everything, and does what he can to help keep her safe. And so on.

Seriously?? Wow. So that’s how they’re spending the hiatus? That’s definitely sad and absurd, the kind of stuff they do continues to reach new levels. I just don’t get what the point is of trying to temporarily deceive people by doing that... so that they can feel like they’ve won for a little while? They must be pretty desperate. And they really are just lying to themselves at this point, and are going to great lengths to lie to other people too. Idk what sites even allow them to do that, at least the articles get changed back though. But yeah, I’m gonna stick to only looking at legit articles and websites, and official info from people who actually work on the show. That’s just incredibly stupid, honestly.

I actually did talk about that a bit in a response to an ask here x. But yeah, same. I understand them being upset about Hope ditching them too, but Hope clearly did it to keep them out of what she was doing because there could’ve been danger. That’s nothing new for Hope, and since they’re supposed to be her best friends, shouldn’t they know that? And even though they were upset, they still should’ve been more concerned about Hope’s safety, which they weren’t. And yes, exactly. Yes to all you said. It was all so frustrating to watch and made me mad too. And so true about Hope and Landon, Hope should be able to be with him, he’s all those things you said and more. So there was no good reason for Lizzie to try to find Hope someone else when she still loves Landon and wasn’t interested in moving on. And I agree about the end of the episode as well. Once again, their concern was the fact that Hope had ditched them, not if she was okay. Exactly, it doesn’t seem like 3x15 meant anything to them since they were so quick to give up on Hope. Just one thing went wrong, which was really more of an inconvenience for them, and they didn’t even try to be there for Hope. They got offended and did nothing. So it makes me worried for when Hope has to deal with Malivore and whether or not they’ll really be there for her.

Yeah, I mean, hopefully no one would have to be sacrificed for them to be happy. But it’s really sad that it’s gotten to the point where it feels like it would take something that extreme to make it happen. It’s truly insane the kind of trauma they’ve gone through and how they can never get a real break and be happy. I agree, if anyone deserves to be happy at this point, it’s them. And I wouldn’t want someone else to have to suffer either, but if the writers are so insistent on having someone suffer, they need to have it not be Hope and Landon for once! They need a better balance of what goes on with all the characters instead of just putting Hope and Landon through everything all the time. Exactly, they seriously have gone through nonstop trauma, they can’t go through anymore at this point, it’s too much. I agree, they need to be able to recover and heal after all they’ve been through so that they can be okay and be happy. I honestly don’t know how either of them have even been able to keep going after all they’ve experienced, it’s so horrible. And yeah, it’s not that the other characters haven’t gone through stuff too, it’s just not at all like what Hope and Landon have dealt with. And like you say, with no breaks, no time to heal. I just think it’s ironic how they wanted this show to be lighter, yet they still put these characters through terrible things, Hope and Landon most of all. They have them constantly dealing with trauma and pain and death, they just lighten up the tone and throw in some comedy amidst all of the tragedy to make it seem lighter when it’s really not. Not for Hope and Landon anyway. I wish they’d make their actual lives and experiences lighter overall, and let them live and be happy for a bit, it’s what they deserve.

Oh my gosh! So I’ve also wondered if Hope is gonna die in 4x04, but I didn’t even think about how that would be a parallel to 3x04! 😭 It will be so painful if it happens, I’m not sure I can take it either! Although, if Landon is there if it happens that could also make for an amazing scene. Like seeing Landon crying over her, or his reaction to it triggering his Phoenix powers again, or maybe even getting healing tears? I’d lose it. It would definitely be heartbreaking, but as long as they wouldn’t get separated again like in 3x04 and they could still be together after, hopefully we would survive seeing something like that again!

When it comes to Klaus and Landon, I have so many thoughts about that, I could make a whole other post about it. But I completely agree with what you said. Every time I see people say Klaus would hate Landon, that he would’ve killed him, etc. like... it makes me mad but I also wanna laugh. Because there’s just no way that Klaus would feel that way about Landon, and whoever thinks he would either didn’t actually watch The Originals, or at least didn’t pay attention to it or understand it. I don’t know how anyone can watch that show and come away from it thinking Landon isn’t the kind of person Klaus, Hayley, and the rest of Hope’s family would want for Hope. And we already saw Klaus’s reaction to Landon dancing with Hope. He was smiling and happy to see Hope with him. He’s already basically approved of Landon. But I really do think he would love Landon too. He wanted Hope to be happy, and Landon is the one who makes Hope happy. So I think that alone would be reason enough for Klaus to like Landon and want him in Hope’s life. But also the other things you said as well, I think he would really admire Landon and the kind of person he is after all that he’s been through. I’ve always thought it was interesting how, in some ways, Landon went through similar things in his childhood like Klaus and Hayley did. He was abused, and Klaus was also abused, and was in foster care with no real family, like Hayley was. And I think for Klaus to see the way Landon has handled that and didn’t let those things change who he is as a person, and still chose to be a good and kind person even after being treated so horribly, I’m sure that would mean a lot to Klaus. To see the way that Landon has been able to overcome darkness in his life, and that’s what Hope needs as well. Klaus and the rest of the Mikaelsons always wanted Hope to be better than how they had been, and Landon helps Hope to be better and helps brings out the best parts of her. And of course with the way that Landon treats Hope, and how much he loves her, how loyal he is, and the way he fights for her and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep her safe, I’m sure Klaus would be so grateful to Landon. Like, just imagine Klaus’s reaction to what Landon did for Hope in 2x11, along with everything else he’s done. How could Klaus not love someone who loves his daughter that much and is that devoted to her? I could go on about this, but this has gotten ridiculously long so I’ll stop. But yeah, I definitely think Klaus would love Landon and be so glad that Hope has him.

[my-robot-heart]

My fave ones?

🤔 (on an unrelate side-note: you have no idea for just how long I've wanted to use this emoji 😁)

It's hard to list my favorite ficlets of yours without listing all of them... but I'll try 😅

All three (if I counted them right... 😵‍💫) ficlets with drunk!Red and the one with drunk!Lizzie (seriously, where are his pants? 😆😏) are definitely up there with the one about the glasses (because I wholeheartedly agree: the idea of Red wearing glasses but being a little self-conscious about it and Liz just loving the sight of him in glasses is precious 🥺),

the blanket one (❝Her hand was holding his, and her thumb was tracing light patterns on his palm. That felt nice.❞ and ❝...She said.., "...Do you need anything?" He shook his head gently. Nothing. He already had her.❞ and ❝She looked slightly more disheveled than he was used to, and he liked it.❞ and ❝She looked at the blanket, now laying on the floor, and back at him. Then her face broke into a smile and she leaned in to give him a gentle hug. "I'm glad you're back to normal, Red."❞ and, of course, "... I heard you call me Raymond" 🥲😭 and the general warm and fuzzy feeling this whole ficlet gives me ☺️),

the short but sweet "- I hate you - Why? I'm lovely" one,

the How To Steal A Million style one (❝"Red. Your knee is jabbing my back," Lizzie said through gritted teeth. He shifted slightly, which brought his elbow into her ribcage. "Better?" He asked. "Sure," she replied.❞ and ❝She shifted her body and he made an oomph sound as her knee found his ribcage. "So sorry," she whispered, hiding a smile. "Quite alright," he said, unconvincingly.❞ and ❝"An hour to kill," he mused. "I can think of several satisfying ways to spend it..." She leaned back against a mop in defeat. "Of course you can."❞),

the breaking the door one (❝"On the contrary, Lizzie," he replied, opening the refrigerator and taking out a sandwich. "I got to see you break down the door and I must say I found it quite... diverting. This sandwich is also tasty." He took a large bite, and offered it to her. "This sandwich? Red that's probably evidence!" She tried to ignore his comment about the hotness of her door busting action. "Mm," he replied, munching a second large bite. "I would say the trip was most definitely not wasted. Let's see what's in the cupboard!" Lizzie shook her head. Why she'd brought him along she'd never know. She opened the cupboard with a shrug. Might as well.❞),

the one where Lizzie realizes she is paralleling what Red did for her when he waited outside the courthouse for her when she was released, yes, of course (🥺 🥺 🥺 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️),

the one where pregnant Lizzie admonishes Red for not taking proper care of himself (because the golden Tom-free 3B AU where Red and Liz are as they were in 3A but also "You can't just follow me around all day at work, and drop off whatever my pregnancy cravings are at night, and not sleep, and not eat, and jet around from place to place doing - whatever the hell you do, and think it's not all going to catch up with you." because that's a very Red thing to do and Liz thing to say and "Now, I'm going to order us some food, and you're going to sit here and eat it with me, actually eat it, Red. And then we are going to sit here and watch reality tv until we get tired, and then we are going to sleep- for a long, long time. And we'll ask Dembe to bring breakfast tomorrow, but not too early, because- we both need a break" because just imagining Liz saying this and them then actually doing this makes me melt and ❝"Don't scare me like that again, okay?" He smiled. "I'll do my best, Lizzie."❞),

the "you need to get some rest." one with dramatically sneezing, suddenly ill Red, who's always got a handkerchief handy and a gentle, loving Liz who stays at home with her sick puppy criminal,

the absolute perfection of the "i didn’t mean the things i said." one,

the "i heard you crying" one (❝"You don't have to leave me, Lizzie," he added, placing a gentle kiss on the very corner of her mouth. "You don't ever have to leave."❞),

the “i want to be happy but i don’t think i deserve it.” one (because Raymond "I don't deserve you, Lizzy" Reddington and Elizabeth "You deserve every single bit of happiness and more, you brilliant fool" Keen are my jam)

the one where Red calms Liz down after she has a nightmare/a panic attack (because of Red breaking a door down because he's that desperate to get to his Lizzy in case she's in danger and Liz ❝caring less about the door and more about the fact that he'd not wanted to wait, in case she'd been in imminent danger❞ but also, on a more personal level, because for me as a person who's prone to having panic attacks and often experienced them alone it's nice to read about Red being there for and knowing just how to calm Liz down)

the “I never stood a chance, did I?” one because oblivious Red who's sad because he thinks that his beloved Lizzy would never return his feelings while she's literally standing in front of him and confessing her love for him is one of my favorite Reds... also, "And I swear to you, if you ever mention Ressler to me again while I'm trying to tell you how I feel about you, I will kill you",

the one where they go shopping (blankets 🥰 and exchanging sympathetic glances with another man who's been forced to carry the bags for his overly-enthusiastic lover 😂),

the “You’re not as evil as people think you are.” one because match-making Dembe is also my jam

and "Hey, stay with me" one because literally everything about this story is perfect, from Red having hallucinations about something happening to Liz (because of course it's one of his deepest, darkest fears) to Liz being desperate to soothe him somehow, anyhow to coconut trunks and red swimsuit (and I also struggled to remain calm after "Are you... an angel?"... especially, after I imagined very vividly Red, in his drugged state, saying it so quietly, so brokenly and, perhaps, just a little bit hopefully because he's just seen the love of his life... get hurt, let's put it that way, but then he hears her voice but she obviously can't be there real and alive and well but she's also his angel, in a way... 🥺 🥺 🥺 😭 😭 😭)

and...

I didn't really keep my promise not to list all of the ficlets, sorry 😆 I just love them all for different reasons!

Also, I absolutely did not open the collection in a new tab so I could reread all these ficlets again and copy and paste some quotes I especially loved... I didn't 😏 (but of course I did)

Sorry for the lengthy ask...

Yours,

🍒)

Oh 🍒 anon! Um never a need to apologize for speaking so nicely about a million of my ficlets lol. I feel like you selected the lines I was most pleased with, also, and it reminded me to reread some of them actually because sometimes it's like - I wrote that? It's perfect for me! (Obvi) 🤣

This is such a treasured reply to my question. Thank you so much 💞

[iboredteen]

Paper Planes : the prologue

" Staying up way past your bed time, sneaking out of house and partying all night was my idea of a normalized behavior of a high schooler - until I realized that my little detour was about getting a bottle of Lexapro instead."

Synopsis: Meet Jong Y/n ,a girl who has always been that one nerd right up in the front of the class who never really talks. Or the one who always wears the same hideous green sweaters which even makes the 53 years old chemistry teacher, Mrs. Choi nice looking in terms of fashion, who spends break time in that one boring section of the library where even the librarians stop trying, pretty much got no friends, prolly has no life. What are the odds?

For Y/n though, life is simple. No sad backstory (except a few tragic failures at making friends and a constant fear of getting sick),a full access to Netflix and frozen pizza and Raspberry Almond crumb tart every Friday night.

But sometimes, when everything seems fine, nothing really is.

In this twisted little paradise of illusions, two parallel universes collide and take off with a promise of blossoming memories, emotions touching the skies and a spiraling silence of chaos, just like paper planes.

Spoiler alert- if only they didn't see him.

Pairing: Jimin x reader

Genre: A/u , angst (to a certain extent), fluff, slight smut.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prologue~

All my life I've made a lot of wishes, except, none of them came true. Even the simple ones. Like jumping into puddles without getting in trouble or having a late night candy snack without getting caught.

Well, I'm still not allowed to ,but at least I have a hide out plan now.

Ever since Dad became a Congress member and Mom became one of the front faces of an NGO, 'restrictions' , 'responsibilities' , 'perfection' (basically all the scary nouns that ruined my childhood -which is also a noun) have all become a huge part of my life. The tiny middle schooler me didn't understand why all of a sudden the cute stray puppy became a 'touch-it-not', why the old swing set in the playground became a 'get-sick-soon zone' or why Happy Sushi store down the street became unhygienic?

I still don't, all I know is that these big words just make feel vulnerable, like a small girl left on her own in a world full of monster like critics and expectations and unlike before, no one really told me what was I supposed to do this time around. Almost makes me want to run away, but I'm not allowed to do that either.

Getting into the good books of people I don't even know was initially what I was supposed to do . Only, it didn't exactly go as planned though. Their 'ideal-model-to be' kid turned into someone who doesn't know how to have a normal conversation and is pretty much the awkward sociopath girl whose only goods are her overachieving parents.

Mission successfully failed, eh?

Sometimes, I wish I had someone to comfort me, to tell me that it's okay to be the imperfect odd one , to hear me out or just be there for those couple dark moments when my demons surface and just won't let go.

As I gaze at the grey cluster of clouds above, I feel the cold engulfing my hand and look down at his long slender fingers intervened in my small warm ones.

Maybe I do have someone after all.

I stare at his face which is angled upwards towards the dusky sky and take in his features. His blue coral eyes seemingly lost, nose scrunched up, plum lips slightly parted blowing air out through them and a broody stillness over his body form.

"I still don't understand." His deep raspy baritone shook me out of my daze, "Why won't you let go of me if you really hate me that much? All you have to do is take that one step and I'll be gone. Forever, just like you wanted" His curious yet strong gaze pierced into mine and I flinched.

A chill rushes down my spine. I gawk at him as a million possible answers swirl up in my mind.

Was it because he was the only one there when no one else was? Or because he knows my secrets enough to make me feel naked? Or maybe I am just pathetic?

I exhale out a long sigh as a droplet of water falls on me followed by yet another, breaking my awkward state of panic.Saved by a drizzle.

I squint my eyes as I look up and feel the water rush down drop by drop in elaborate urgency. At that moment I didn't care if Mom would ground me for staying out and 'getting sick'. All I could see was me and the gloomy mirroring skies had poured down in passive aggression.

"Come on", an intruding murmur broke me out of my stance. He grabbed my hand and ushered us to a nearby bus stand to avoid the rains. How he hated the showers.

I turned my head and saw the chaos around us. People hurrying their ways to the nearest shelter, kids being gleeful yet cautious and their mothers trying to get them into the nearby convenience stores.

I turned away from the commotion ahead me and saw him concentrated on getting rid of the wetness of his soaked shirt and it is then that I realized that as time passed, our encounters and separations became so vivid that with every alley, every crossroad that we passed, it all led me to this very place.

A moment like this.

A/n: Hey guys! This is first attempt on writing something! Hope you guys like it. I would love your constructive feedback 💜