#i know this is very different from what i usually post but i hope yall likey

[lupucs]

I just realized I never drew them ⚔️

[luvergirl-866]

that’s so true

word count - 8.3k

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

c/w - language, toxic p/toxic relationship (situationship) (kinda toxic a too)? i guess you could call it angst? but it’s very unserious bc i’ve been doing too much serious stuff. fluff and happy ending. very dialogue heavy

a/n - i don’t usually like to incorporate music into my fics but the anon who gave this prompt specifically recommended it so i hope i did it justice! also, this takes place azzi’s freshman year so like 2021/2022, and i know this song didn’t exist then but this is fiction so i can do what i want 😛. hope yall enjoy!!!

They only have five minutes before they’re supposed to leave with everybody else to Ted’s. Unfortunately for Azzi, Paige Bueckers is very hot and also very much on top of her, and both of these things coincide to create quite the predicament: they can’t stop kissing.

It’s normal for them, lately. Kissing is easier than talking, considering talking has gotten harder since they started—whatever this is. Or maybe restarted is a better word, considering they did this same thing in high school. But back then, the kissing was a little clumsier, often fast and desperate, whereas now they’re older, mature (yeah, right) and they take their time with these things, often just making out for hours before they move on to other things, relishing in not having to worry about either of their parents or siblings barging in on them like they used to.

There’s also another difference—back then, they were dating. Like, introducing each other as their girlfriends, going on dates, holding-hands-in-public dating.

That’s different because today—and for the past six months—they’ve been decidedly not dating.

“We don’t need distractions,” Paige had said after they’d fucked, only a month after Azzi came to UConn. (They had both agreed to stay just friends—best friends—but nothing more. But then they had to live in the same building and watch each other get all hot and sweaty at practice and see each other in skimpy pajamas and who were they to blame, really, when they fucked in that club bathroom one heated but sober night? They had spent a year broken up, a year of being long-distance besties, FaceTiming and texting and posting each other on socials with captions like “happy birthday i miss you” and “come see me”. It honestly would’ve been wrong for them to not fuck.)

“Mm—Paige, wait,” Azzi whispers when they finally separate for air.

“What’s up,” Paige says, eyes roving over every inch of Azzi’s face. Her voice is a little raspy from lack of use and it does things to Azzi’s tummy.

“I—you don’t—we need to go,” Azzi urges, pushing at Paige’s shoulders. Paige, of course, just smiles at that, pressing her knee up in between Azzi’s legs. It’s really not her fault when she gasps a little.

Paige chuckles, leaning down to kiss her forehead, then between her eyebrows. “Do we?” she mumbles, pecking the tip of Azzi’s nose and the corner of her mouth. “Like, do we really?”

“Yes, Paige, we do.” Azzi moves one of her hands down to Paige’s occupied thigh, trying desperately to separate the toned muscle from her aching core. “C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“Definitely not as much fun as this is.”

“Well, we can continue later, when we get home.” That gets Paige to move her knee back, offering Azzi both relief and leaving an ache between her legs. She does her best to flash a sultry smile. “It’s a weekend. We can stay up all night if we want.”

Paige looks at her skeptically. “I thought you were stayin’ sober?”

Azzi moves her head back and forth. “Might not.”

“For real?”

“Uh-huh.” Azzi winds her arms around Paige’s shoulders, then scratches a little roughly down the length of her back, something Paige has always been into. It works, Paige’s jaw dropping just enough to show the pink of her tongue. “I want it, too, P. We just can’t ditch the team again. I think they already suspect us.”

“What?” Paige makes a face and scoffs. “Nah, we’re sneaky.”

“You called me babe in front of everyone at practice.”

“That’s a friend thing.” Paige waggles her eyebrows and plants a kiss on her lips, as if to prove just how friendly they are.

“Nika saw you basically groping me the other day, too.”

“I never did that.”

“My apartment, the kitchen. Movie night. I was making popcorn and you came up behind me and grabbed my tits.”

“Hm. Don’t remember that.”

“You said ‘I wanna fuck you from behind right now,’ and poor Nika walked in and stared at us and said, ‘This doesn’t look like you’re making popcorn’.”

Paige groans, dropping her head into Azzi’s shoulder and effectively laying the entire length of her body on Azzi’s. “I did wanna fuck you from behind. You were wearing those jeans…”

“Paige!”

“Okay, whatever.” Paige is a little muffled now, buried in the crook of Azzi’s neck. Her breath tingles, sending hot shivers up the length of her arm. “I do that to everyone, Nika won’t think anything of it.”

“Oh, really,” Azzi says, tone dropping into something utterly unamused, and Paige’s head pops up when she hears it. “So you say things like that to every bitch?”

Paige’s eyes widen. “No!” she grapples for something to say, and Azzi just raises an eyebrow at her. “I don’t—I meant—I just didn’t wanna admit you’re right, I wasn’t—baby.” Paige juts out her bottom lip. It kinda works. “You know I wasn’t thinkin’.���

This is another interesting thing about their current situation: because they’re not dating, they’ve never discussed where they stand in terms of other people. Sure, at the very beginning, they agreed since it was just casual sex, there was no reason for them to be exclusive. They didn’t want to get anywhere near that line of the all-consuming, intense relationship they had in high school, and they figured seeing other people—or at least having the option to do so—would steer them clear of that. And it worked for about…two seconds.

But then somewhere down the line things got a little blurry and slowly but surely Azzi stopped thinking of them as friends with benefits and as more of a slightly complicated but also fun situationship. Because at some point they started kissing without the goal of sex or even third base, just little pecks here and there when they had a second alone. And then they started staying a little longer each time after they’d fuck—at first, they’d leave directly after. But then they would stay for some basic aftercare, and then it got to full-on snuggling, and then it got to their clothes in each other’s apartments from how often they’d stay the night with each other. And the most recent development which really cemented things for Azzi: Paige has started using pet names outside the bedroom, something she only ever did while they were girlfriends. It’s only been a few weeks since this started and Azzi was absolutely floored when Paige had picked up her phone call with a, “Hey, baby.”

And now here they are, late for yet another night out because Paige is very clearly scandalized at the mere notion of her seeing another girl—even though it’s supposed to be allowed—and Azzi has to be honest, she doesn’t love the idea, either.

“Aw, c’mon,” Paige says when Azzi doesn’t reply. “Don’t be mad at me, mama.”

Azzi blinks up at her, officially not jealous and not overthinking about their complicated situation any longer. “You’re stupid,” she teases, scooting back and sitting up.

Paige follows closely, so that by the time Azzi is propped up against the headboard she’s on her lap. “You’re really stopping us?” she asks.

“We’re already late, I’m sure everybody left without us,” Azzi says, tapping Paige encouragingly on the hip, “so yes.”

Paige doesn’t yet move and doesn’t look like she’s going to until a sharp knock at the door makes both of them jolt. “Hey!” It’s Aaliyah’s voice. “Y’all cannot be taking this long to get ready.”

“I don’t…we just…” Azzi stammers as Paige scrambles off her, and they both get quickly to their feet, making as little noise as possible, “our hair wasn’t cooperating,” she says, reaching up to fix Paige’s tousled hair. “We’ll be right out!”

“You better be, we’re all waiting outside and it’s fucking cold.”

“Coming!” Azzi calls, letting Paige wipe some of her smudged lip gloss, rolling her eyes when Paige smirks at her and says, “Oh, you will be.”

She has no idea what Paige Bueckers is to her, but an annoyance will always take the top spot.

————————————————

When Azzi had claimed she’d stay sober with the other freshmen, she hadn’t accounted for the fact that she has a best friend who loves to party and who loves peer pressuring even more.

“C’mon, just a few shots,” Paige pouts, leaning in too close to her. Azzi glances around the bar, trying to see if anybody is watching them, but she can’t tell. There’s too many people.

“Nobody can hear us,” Paige assures her, placing her hands low on Azzi’s hips, pressing her into the wall of the corner they’re semi-hidden in.

Azzi swears this girl is horrible for her blood pressure. “Paige,” she hisses, removing Paige’s hands, “not here.”

“You shoulda let us stay home,” Paige says, and now that her hands are placed firmly at her sides her eyes do all the wandering for them, raking slowly down Azzi’s body and back up. “I woulda had you fucked out by now, I swear.”

“Oh, I believe you,” Azzi mumbles.

“You seem anxious, baby.” Bravely, Paige holds her again, though this time it’s at a more friendly place, higher up on her waist. Azzi tries to meet her eyes but they’re held firmly on her lips. “Fuck. I wanna kiss you so bad.”

“No, Paige,” Azzi says, as sternly as possible. She would rather like to kiss her too, but not here, not now, not when Paige is tipsy and Azzi is horrendously sober.

“Okay, I’ma go get me another dirty shirley.” Azzi swears she would marry that drink if she could. “And I’ma grab a couple shots for you while I’m at it. And then we’re gonna fuck in the bathroom.”

Azzi smacks Paige on the arm. “I’m done with public restrooms. Once was enough.”

Paige, still sober enough to have some sort of common sense, wrinkles her nose. “Yeah, you’re right. But I’m still grabbing shots.” She smacks a wet kiss onto her forehead and with that, turns around to head toward the bar.

Azzi doesn’t get a second of peace before someone else is sidling up to her. Though when she looks over she sighs with relief when it’s just Caroline. “Hey, Carol.”

“You’re so lucky you have a girlfriend who’ll buy you shots,” Caroline says, looking wistfully in Paige’s direction.

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

Caroline side-eyes her. “Uh-huh.”

“She’s not. We broke up.”

“And then got back together.”

Azzi shoves her away before pulling her back, linking their arms together as she leads them towards their team’s section of seats. “Nope. We’re still exes.”

“Exes who are romantically involved.”

“Carol,” Azzi groans, urging her to shut up as they approach the rest of the girls. “We’re just friends.”

It used to leave a bitter taste in her mouth, lying to her closest friend, the one whose shoulder she cried on when she and Paige broke up. But after six months of doing it, she’s used to it. And it’s not like Caroline believes her, anyway.

“Okay,” Caroline says skeptically. “So if the guy that’s been looking at you since we got here asked for your number, you’d give it to him?”

They’re at the team’s booth now, and Amari perks up at the mention of the slightest possibility of drama. “What guy?”

“I haven’t noticed a guy,” Azzi says, which is the truth. As it usually goes, she’s only had eyes for Paige tonight.

“Over there,” Carol says, leaning against the table and gesturing subtly across the bar. “Muscle shirt.”

“Immediately no,” Azzi replies, not even looking for him in the group of guys across the room. But he must be actively searching her out because just as she’s about to look away she catches his eye, and even though she immediately looks away, she can still see him grin out of the corner of her eye.

“Uh-oh,” Amari mutters. “You engaged him.”

“Don’t make eye contact,” Azzi says, turning away from him to face her friends. “Make yourself unapproachable.”

Caroline turns away, too, and the two of them lean over the table.

Aaliyah looks up from the conversation she was having. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Hiding,” Azzi hisses.

Amari peeks around Azzi’s shoulder, then settles back in her seat. “He’s coming over.”

“What?” Azzi wants to look at him but doesn’t, instead inching herself closer to Caroline. “Save me.”

“Who is that?” Aaliyah asks, not-so-subtly staring at the guy.

“A man about to flirt with Azzi,” Caroline says, nudging her away.

“Oh, Paige is gonna be maddd,” Aaliyah sing-songs, and they all giggle like this is funny and not absolutely awkward and stress-inducing.

Azzi glares at them. “She has no reason to be mad.” And it’s true, she kind of doesn’t, but that doesn’t mean she won’t.

“Oh, yeah?” Caroline asks, glancing behind them just as Azzi feels the man come up behind her. “We’ll see about that.”

And then there’s a tap on her shoulder, and Azzi takes a deep breath before turning around with a strained smile on her face.

“Hey.” Muscle shirt is standing a little too close for comfort, which she’s sure he’ll excuse by the crowded bar but is obviously just him being weird. “You’re Azzi, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Azzi says, leaning back against the table.

“I’ve seen you around,” he continues, smiling cockily, obviously very proud of himself for being brave enough to approach her. “You come here a lot, right? To Ted’s?”

Azzi shrugs, looking casually to her side in the hopes that Caroline will rescue her, but to her astonishment she has slid into the booth next to Aaliyah and is now chatting happily with the rest of the team. “I guess.”

“Noticed you weren’t with Bueckers,” he says, and she winces. Not five sentences into the conversation and he’s already brought up her current situationship. “Thought it was a good opening.” He laughs. She doesn’t.

“How so?” she asks, a little nervously.

“I mean, she obviously doesn’t want anybody coming near you.” A girl squeezes past behind him and he takes it as an excuse to inch even closer to her. Azzi presses herself further back into the table. “Can’t even look your way without her looking like she’s gonna fight someone.”

“She’s just protective,” Azzi says. As if Paige would do that for any of their friends, as if that level of pure possessiveness is normal.

“Right.” He doesn’t sound fully convinced. “You didn’t ask my name.”

God. Why are men so…gross? “My bad.” He stares at her expectantly. “Uh…so…?”

“I’m Elliot,” he says, grinning at her. That muscle shirt is really not doing good things for him. “You want me to buy you a drink?”

“Um, actually—“

“She’s good.”

Azzi’s shoulders sag at the mere sound of Paige’s voice. She can’t help but smile when Paige approaches them, moving roughly past Elliot to sidle up next to her. She hands her two brightly colored shots before slinging an arm around her, firmly ignoring Elliot. “Gotchu these. Lemme know if you don’t like ‘em.”

Azzi nods, and usually she’d shy away from the physical contact, especially right in front of their friends, but now she leans into it, safe under Paige’s arm. “Thanks.”

“Sorry I took so long.” As if sensing her discomfort—which she probably can—she rubs her thumb soothingly over her shoulder. “They’re super busy up there. You okay?”

Azzi opens her mouth to respond, but Elliot interrupts her. “She’s fine, dude. We’re just talking.”

Paige looks at him. “Aight. Well, you can be done talking now.”

Their teammates have gone mostly quiet behind them, and Azzi rolls her eyes when she hears them snickering.

Elliot scoffs, but he’s skinny and a little shorter than Paige, and when her arm tightens around Azzi’s shoulder he puts his hands up. “Damn, okay.”

Azzi breathes a sigh of relief when he’s gone. “Thank god. That was so awkward.”

“You shoulda called me,” Paige says, dropping her arm to turn around and face their teammates. “And y’all shoulda helped her out.”

The girls look up at them innocently. Amari smiles charmingly at Paige and says, “We knew you were gonna do it soon enough.”

Azzi shakes her head and downs one of the shots. It is as disgusting as it looks.

“You guys suck,” Paige says, pulling Azzi into her side once again. “Leaving my girl in the trenches like that.”

Dozens of eyebrows raise at that, and it’s then that Azzi smells the booze on Paige’s breath. She flushes, trying to pull away. “P,” she mutters.

“I know,” Paige says, holding fast to Azzi’s waist, setting her shirley on the table so she can wrap the other around her, too.

“Paige,” Azzi urges, pressed completely now into Paige’s chest and trying desperately to ignore the scrutinizing looks from her teammates. She hopes they’re all too drunk to think hard about Paige’s behavior.

“Yeah,” Paige says, her hand creeping slowly down Azzi’s back.

“Did you have another drink?” Azzi asks, trying to walk them away from the booth, but Paige keeps her feet planted.

“I might’ve had another shot.” Paige grins, and Azzi would easily admit she likes it a lot more than muscle shirt’s. “Missed you, baby.”

The girls are pretending not to eavesdrop, but they’re clearly listening, sharing furtive glances with each other. Which is just—great. Because tomorrow the girls are going to have questions and Paige will be sober enough for that to stress her out, which will in turn stress Azzi out, and there will be no saving face if she lets Paige continue on like this.

“Not now, Paige,” she hisses, trying desperately to push her back.

Paige pouts. Their faces are far too close together. “What, you wanna go back to that guy or sum’?”

Azzi knows she’s not serious, but it still annoys her, and she doesn’t feel quite as comforted in Paige’s arms anymore. “Seriously, I’m not in the mood.”

Paige scoffs, maybe a little more serious now. “Course you aren’t.”

Azzi blinks at her, and when Paige’s hands drop to her sides she takes a step back. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno.” Paige gestured between them. “Just that you never wanna be around me unless we’re fu—“

Azzi’s overstimulated and irritated, but she still has enough common sense to shove Paige hard enough to shut her up. “Don’t.”

Paige watches as Azzi drinks her other shot. “What? You really don’t want anybody to know, huh? You that embarrassed or something?”

Azzi shakes her head in disbelief, stepping back towards Paige so they can at least have this conversation too quiet for anybody to hear. “Are you dumb? You’re the one who wanted to keep this secret.”

“Because I didn’t want my teammates thinking I was distracted!”

“Our teammates, Paige.” Azzi gives her another little shove for good measure, and then she steps away again. “You’re acting stupid. Go chill out and come back when you wanna be normal.”

“Fine. I will.” With that, she turns on her heel and disappears into the crowd. Azzi rolls her eyes at her hot-headedness. They’re both too stubborn for their own good, but Paige is ten times worse when she’s drunk and Azzi has always been more logical. Little, senseless arguments like this never happened when they were dating—or even when they were broken up—but now that they’re at this weird in-between, they’re becoming more frequent.

Hence why they prefer to kiss instead of talk.

Azzi plops down beside Amari, grateful when nobody questions her, and feels a little better when she thinks about how good the make-up sex will be later.

—————————————

There will be no make-up sex tonight. Or ever, Azzi thinks bitterly, glaring daggers at the girl Paige is currently feeling up.

Okay, feeling up might be an overstatement. She has a hand on her arm. But Azzi knows better than anyone that for Paige, hand-on-arm action might as well be foreplay. And the girl seems to sense it, too, if her batting eyelashes and twinkling smile have anything to show for it.

“She’s just doing it to make you jealous.” Once again, it’s Caroline, sidling up next to Azzi to study the tall blonde across the bar.

“I have no reason to be jealous,” Azzi all but spits out, and Caroline smirks.

“Pretend all you want, Az. But it’s impossible to not see what’s going on with you and her.”

“There’s nothing.” Paige’s fingers trail down the length of the girl’s arm and it’s almost like Azzi can feel it, too.

“Are you guys exclusive?”

“No,” Azzi responds immediately, too tipsy to be thinking straight, and when Caroline smiles proudly to herself, she backtracks. “I mean, obviously not. We’re not anything.”

“Well, if you’re not exclusive, she’s not doing anything wrong.”

Azzi hates this bitter reminder and turns her anger onto her best friend. “Shut up, Carol.”

“You two should probably talk about not seeing other people,” Caroline says, as wise and perceptive as ever. (She is also significantly more sober than Azzi is.)

“She can see whoever she wants,” Azzi seethes, stirring the ice in her drink. “I don’t care.”

Paige’s eyes flit from the girl’s face to Azzi. And then, with a little smirk, she leans in to whisper something in her ear, blue eyes never leaving brown as the girl giggles and grabs onto her arm. She smiles, too, and Azzi takes some satisfaction in the fact the girl has no idea she’s not the one Paige is doing this for.

She’s always been good at putting up a show. And Azzi has always been her captive audience.

Not tonight, Azzi decides as she looks firmly away. It’s about time Paige learns to behave herself.

—————————————-

It’s been a long night of drinking and trying not to watch Paige attach herself to this random girl’s hip when Azzi is approached by none other than random girl herself.

She’s gorgeous up close, but Azzi can’t help but notice her brown curls and crescent dimples, the way they’re the exact same height. It nearly makes her laugh.

“Hey,” the girl says, dropping into the bar seat next to Azzi.

“Uh,” Azzi says, vey tipsy and very irate. “Hey.”

“What’s that? It looks so good,” the girl asks, pointing to her drink. Her voice is soft and kind, nothing malicious gleaming in her eyes. Azzi hates it.

“Just a mango daiquiri,” Azzi responds, kind of unable to be snarky about it with the wide-eyed way the girl is looking at her.

“Oh, fancy! I’m definitely gonna cop that.” She smiles conspiratorially at her. Azzi can’t help but smile back. Okay, now she just kind of hates herself. She’s never been one to be rude to girls she’s jealous of. Especially not harmless, sweet ones.

“It’s so good,” she’s saying before she can help it. “And they come in all different flavors so there’s like, endless possibilities.”

“Stop,” the girl gasps.

“I know!” and then they both giggle like the tipsy college students they are. This is possibly even better than hating her, because it’s almost like a smack in the face: look at me, Paige, being the bigger person. Making best friends with your target of the night. How’s that feel?

“Hey,” the girl giggles, leaning her elbows on the bar. “You’re Azzi, yeah? You play so good.”

“Thank you!” Azzi gushes, flashing her dimples as the girl does just the same. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Haven,” she replies. Even her name is nice. Azzi thinks about how Paige must’ve thought the same thing when they met a few hours ago, but she doesn’t like the thought, so she pushes it firmly away.

“Hey,” Haven says, sounding suddenly hesitant. “Um, I actually wanted to ask you something. About…Paige?”

Azzi’s eyes snap to where the blonde sits at the team’s booth—she always seems to know where Paige is in a room, though she never remembers tracking her movements—before she quickly looks back to Haven. “What about her?”

“Well…that,” she says.

“What?” Azzi asks, stirring her drink casually.

“The reaction you just had to me saying her name.”

Okay, so Azzi apparently does not appear as cool and collected as she thought. “Oh, that was just—I mean, she’s my best friend.”

“Yeah?” Haven asks. “Because I kinda got the impression y’all were…”

“No,” Azzi says, trying to contort her features into something like disgust. “Ew. Never.”

Haven raises her eyebrows. “Never?”

Why is everybody deciding to clock Paige and Azzi’s shit tonight? “Okay, like, maybe at one point. But it’s over.”

“Really.” She does not sound convinced at all. Glancing over at Paige, Haven leans forward, as if she’s afraid they’ll be heard. “It’s just, she keeps looking at you and you keep looking back and she was all over you earlier, so like—“

“I wouldn’t say she was all over me.”

“She totally was.” Haven’s looking at her like she’s clueless. “I just…listen, Paige invited me over tonight.” Azzi’s stomach drops. So definitely no make-up sex then. In fact, Azzi might as well pack up her vagina right now because Paige has ruined everybody else for her, too. “And I don’t wanna get in the middle of anything,” Haven continues, completely oblivious to Azzi’s internal vow of celibacy, “especially nothing messy.”

“Yeah, no, I totally get that.” Azzi sighs heavily; considering their situation is exactly what one might describe as messy, Azzi figures it’s probably the right thing to do to tell this poor girl the truth. “To be honest, we kinda are…I dunno. I mean, we fuck.”

“Okay,” Haven nods, sounding not at all surprised.

“She stays over most of the time. I stay at her’s sometimes, but she mostly stays at mine.”

“Spare toothbrushes in each other’s bathroom?”

Azzi winces. “Possibly.”

“Yeow.”

“And, like, generally, we don’t see other people. We used to, at the beginning, but not anymore. We were just talking about it today, actually. Well, not talking about it—we don’t talk about stuff. We’re not serious enough for Paige to wanna talk about stuff.” Azzi is rambling now, and Haven is hanging onto her every word, and Azzi thinks she loves making fast friends with other girls then realizes this is the exact thing that happens every time she gets drunk. Perhaps she crossed over that line awhile ago.

The two of them have their heads close together now, the rest of the bar completely shut out. “But anyway, she said something and I was like, what, you say that to all your bitches? You know, mostly joking but not.”

“Of course.”

“And she was all, no, baby, I would never ever have other bitches, don’t be mad,” Azzi says, deepening her tone in a stupid caricature of Paige’s voice.

Haven gasps. “That was today?”

“Like ten minutes before we came here.”

“And then she was all up on me tonight.” Haven glares in Paige’s direction. “Damn.”

“I know. But like, yeah, we’re not exclusive or anything so it’s fine. But it’s not, you know?”

“Oh, for sure. That’s fucked up,” Haven says haughtily. “So, wait, how long has this been going on for?”

“Uh…six months?” but no, that doesn’t feel right. “Well, I guess, like, four years? But six months.”

Haven blinks at her.

Azzi sighs. “We were super serious in high school.”

Haven nearly screams, slamming her hand on the bar. “She’s your ex?”

“Yes!” Azzi cries, and it feels so, so good for someone to understand her situation. “We were so in love and shit! And then things started feeling weird the summer before she came here—because, like, I’m a year younger than her so she was gonna be in college while I was still in high school and I—I could tell she didn’t wanna be tied down by her lame hometown girlfriend so I ended things.”

“Girl!” Haven yells.

“I had no other choiceeee,” Azzi groans. “She woulda broken up with me if I hadn’t broken up with her.”

“You’re crazy,” Haven says, shaking her head. “That girl is down bad.”

“Stop,” Azzi says, waving her off.

“She is, horrendously.” Haven gestures over to Paige. “As soon as you got to UConn she wanted to start something with you, right? And then y’all have a little tiff and she’s doing the most with another girl just to get your attention?”

“She asked you to go home with her,” Azzi points out. “That definitely wasn’t for my benefit.”

“Um, I’m sorry, have you not noticed how scary alike we look?” Haven asks, and Azzi flushes. “She was definitely gonna pretend I was you. Which I’m not down for, like, at all.”

“She’s such a dick,” Azzi says. Because she may have been in love with Paige Bueckers since high school, but yeah, she’s still kinda a dick.

“Totally,” Haven agrees. “But…

“Don’t tell me you’re about to defend her.”

“Listen!” Haven places her hands on Azzi’s shoulder. “I think her heart’s in the right place. She wants you. She’s just a little…misguided.”

Azzi shakes her head. “She was the one who said we couldn’t be serious. She said we couldn’t have ‘distractions’.”

“And you didn’t stop to think that maybe she was still insecure and hurt by the fact you broke up with her and was protecting herself from getting hurt again?”

Azzi blinks at this drunk, genius girl in front of her. “Whoa.”

“Yeah. You know what, I’m starting to think maybe you’re both a little stupid.”

Azzi shoves her. “Don’t get so cocky, you could be wrong!”

“I could,” Haven admits. “But where would that leave you? With an asshole ex-girlfriend who messes with your head for fun?”

Azzi thinks maybe, if they didn’t look so uncannily alike, she could kiss this girl. “I love you.”

“Girl, I love you more.” Haven pats her arm and leans back on her barstool. “Now take Auntie Haven’s advice and give her the silent treatment for a few days. She’ll realize her mistakes and come running back real quick.”

“What if I don’t wanna take her back?” Azzi says, already knowing it’s bullshit.

“You do. But you gotta make her work for it. And then you have to communicate with her.”

Azzi makes a face. “Didn’t I already tell you we don’t like talking?”

Haven rubs her temples. “There’s your main fucking problem, Azzi.”

It’s then that Haven’s eyes trail to something over her shoulder and before Azzi can ask there’s a large, warm, all-too-familiar ringed hand on her shoulder. “What’re you two talking about over here?”

Azzi looks first at the hand on her shoulder, then slowly up to Paige’s face. Paige raises her eyebrows, waiting for an answer, and then Azzi looks back at Haven, meeting her eyes.

And then they laugh.

“What?” Paige nearly demands.

Azzi brushes her hand off, still giggling. “Leave us alone, Paige.”

“I just didn’t know y’all knew each other,” Paige says, and Azzi delights at how confused she sounds. “Because you two seem pretty buddy-buddy over here.”

“Didn’t realize you were watching so closely,” Haven quips. Azzi giggles.

“Never said I was.” Paige moves from behind Azzi, going to stand beside them, studying them closely. “You two are drunk as hell.”

“So are you!” Haven and Azzi both say at the same time, and tears are forming at this point. Azzi holds on to Haven’s knee to keep herself from falling off her chair.

“Aight, yeah, I’m getting you an Uber,” Paige says to Haven, before touching Azzi’s arm, “And I’ma walk you home.”

“I can get my own Uber,” Haven says haughtily, but Paige already has her phone out.

Once again, Azzi bats Paige’s hand away. “I don’t wanna go home with you.”

Paige rolls her eyes, still navigating through her phone. “I figured, Az. But we live in the same building. Just lemme walk you.”

“You’re not sober enough to walk me.”

“I’ve been drinking water for the past hour, I’m pretty much good.” Paige shuts her phone off and looks at Haven. “You car’ll be here in fifteen.”

“Wish you were pretty much good a couple hours ago,” Azzi grumbles.

Paige’s expression becomes a little less nonchalant at that. “I know, mama, we can talk about it tomorrow.”

And that almost works. But then Haven sends her a warning glare and she straightens up. “No, thanks.”

Paige’s face scrunches up like it always done when she’s shocked, and Azzi hates that it’s still the cutest thing in the world. “Whatchu mean?”

“Exactly that,” Azzi says, standing from her barstool. Her butt is sore from sitting for so long. “And I’ll walk home with the rest of the team, thanks.”

Paige splutters. Haven gives her the middle finger.

—————————————

Later, when they are walking home—stumbling, more accurately—Azzi is leaning against Aubrey when she hears familiar footfalls coming up behind them and braces herself.

“Hey, Azzi,” Paige calls, catching her arm as she catches up. “Come walk with me.”

“I wanna walk with Aubrey,” Azzi says petulantly.

Aubrey looks awkwardly between the two of them.

“Bro, just—“ Paige stops, mindful of their audience. “Let’s just talk, okay?”

“No, thanks.”

“Azzi, c’mon.”

“I’m drunk and I’m cold and I’m mad at you. Leave me alone.”

Paige looks desperately to Aubrey for help. Aubrey just shrugs and says, “What’m I supposed to do? She said what she said.”

“Thank you,” Azzi huffs.

“Man, fuck this,” Paige says. Azzi feels very satisfied when Paige falls back, leaving her alone. But her arm also tingles where Paige had caught it.

Oh, yeah. This makeup sex had better be good for the trouble she’s going through.

—————————————

It isn’t until the next day that, during a car ride with Caroline, Azzi disovers it.

The two of them have always had similar music tastes, so when an unfamiliar song comes on over the speaker, she’s a little surprised. However, as she listens to the lyrics, she finds herself even more surprised at how much they resonate with her.

I could go and read your mind

Think about your dumb face all the time

Living in your glass house I’m outside

“Hey,” she says, “what song is this?”

“That’s So True,” Caroline answers, still staring ahead at the road. “By Gracie Abrams. Why?”

Looking into big blue eyes

Did it just to hurt me, make me cry

Smiling through it all, yeah, that’s my life

“Oh,” Azzi says casually, “no reason.”

——————————————

It becomes very apparent there is a reason when, over the next week, the song becomes everyone else’s problem.

So apparent, in fact, that the team actually starts to worry about her.

“What did you do to her?” Aaliyah asks as soon as Paige walks into the apartment.

“You broke her,” Amari says.

“That stupid song kept me up all night and it’s your fault,” Aubrey continues, pointing menacingly at Paige.

“I didn’t do nothing!” Paige says, backing away from her angry friends.

“You better fix it,” Amari says. “Like, now.”

“Fix what?”

Oddly, they all go quiet at this. Paige is about to ask what’s up with them when music begins blasting from somewhere in the dorm.

“That,” Aaliyah says.

Paige scrunches her nose. “Bad pop music?”

“It is not bad,” Caroline says defensively, joining them in the entryway. When she gets judgmental looks from the other girls, she sighs. “Okay, it wasn’t bad. But Azzi’s been listening to it nonstop for a week and it used to be my favorite song and now I’m sick of it.”

“We’re all sick of it,” Amari adds unhelpfully.

“I still don’t understand what this has to do with me,” Paige says, but of course she’s lying. From what she can make out the lyrics are about a break up, maybe, something to do with jealousy and anger. With the way Azzi’s been dodging her this week (calls sent straight to voicemail, texts left on read, not even a hint of eye contact when they see each other) she knows she fucked up at the party.

It’s not like them to fight—really, it’s not. They’ve gotten into more arguments this year than they have in their entire friendship. Obviously, there’s a correlation there, something major signaling that this whole friends-with-benefits thing doesn’t work for them. Or maybe it does. Maybe it’s the whole best-friends-who-dated-then-became-exes-then-friends-with-benefits thing that they can’t do.

But either way—fights? Like, actual fights that Paige can’t talk (or kiss) their way out of? Those are rare.

She didn’t think their argument at the bar was that big a deal. Didn’t even think her flirting with another girl would make Azzi mad. (She’d been hoping for jealousy because dysfunctional as they may be, the sex is really good and it’s even better when one of them is all riled up).

She has a sneaky feeling this all has to do with that girl at the bar. Haven. The cute one who looked a lot like Azzi and seemed super into Paige until she turned around and became best friends with none other than Azzi herself. She should’ve known that would happen. Azzi always makes friends when she gets drunk.

She just wishes this bout of silence (and celibacy) between them would end already.

“You can’t be serious,” Amari says.

Paige shrugs.

“We all know you two are fucking, Paige,” Caroline says quite bluntly.

And, okay, the sheer panic that Paige feels at this is maybe a little ridiculous.

She never wanted the team—anyone, really—to know she and Azzi were back together. Because, well, they weren’t, for one, and there’s no good way to tell your parents, “Hey, you know how I was super emo about how the love of my life broke up with me before college? Yeah, well, it’s been a year and I’m not totally over it but I fucked her in the bathroom at a club and we’re going steady—as in, fucking—now!”

But the main reason she didn’t want anybody to know is because she was—is—so afraid of having her heart broken again. And if she keeps this to herself, then she gets to act like she doesn’t care if history repeats itself. Gets to move on and not think about it and use other people as rebounds without anybody batting an eye.

But it’s been six months of them going from friends with benefits to best friends who also kiss and have sex to best friends who kiss and have sex exclusively with each other. She may have gotten a little too cocky, may have thought they were finding solid ground, and may have not put so much effort into hiding it.

But Azzi hasn’t spoken to her for a week and she doesn’t even remember what solid ground feels like anymore so yeah, the notion of her friends knowing about them when they may be on the brink of ending is a little scary.

“Okay,” Amari says tentatively when Paige stares blankly at them, “don’t freak. It’s not a big deal. We don’t care.”

“No, I—I know,” Paige stutters.

“Seriously, P, it’s cool,” Aubrey says, patting her shoulder. “Just, you know, go fix it.”

That song has played three consecutive times since this conversation started. They may be right. Paige might’ve broken her.

Might’ve broken them.

“And while you’re at it,” Caroline adds, giving her a little push in the direction of Azzi’s room, “make sure you guys are official so we don’t have to deal with this again.”

Paige tries to plant her feet to prevent her advance towards Azzi, but Aubrey rounds to her front and starts pulling at her arms while Amari pushes and then she’s directly in front of a door with a pink ‘welcome’ sign hanging off the front. As that song thuds accusingly through the door, Paige doesn’t feel very welcome.

“Okay, stop being a pussy,” Aaliyah pipes up from behind them, “and go in there. Please.”

“Make it stop,” Aubrey says. She almost sounds like she’s about to cry.

Paige stares at them, wondering if they’re really going to make her do this. But they all nod at her before disappearing down the hall so it’s just Paige in front of Azzi’s door and she could leave, could just go back home but she’d never hear the end of it from her teammates. (And she might end up hating herself if she does that, too.)

So, with a deep, steadying breath, Paige lifts her fist and knocks.

“Coming,” Azzi calls. Blessedly, the song turns off and there’s some rustling inside before the door creaks open.

Paige expects a lot of things when Azzi first sees her—anger, upset, a door slamming in her face.

What she doesn’t expect is the satisfied smile that flits across Azzi’s face before she carefully fixes her expression into something more somber.

“Uh, hey,” Paige says. “Can I—“

“Come in,” Azzi says gravely, opening the door all the way to let her through.

“Uh, aight.” Nervously, Paige walks past Azzi, a little afraid that is some sort of trap based off the strange way she’s acting. Once she’s inside and the door’s shut, she faces the younger girl, though doesn’t quite look her in the eye. “So, I just…you know, about the other night. At Ted’s.”

Azzi nods. “Go on.”

“Well, I know I started that lil argument and I feel bad.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I was just drunk and I wanted your attention so I acted stupid.”

Azzi crosses her arms impatiently. Paige wishes she had written this down and practiced beforehand or something.

“And with that other girl—“

“Her name’s Haven,” Azzi says sharply.

Paige blinks at her, surprised. “Yeah. Her. Well—“

“She’s actually really nice. We’ve been texting.”

Paige can’t help but scoff a little at that. “What, you gonna leave me for her or sum’?”

“We look related, so no,” Azzi says, raising an eyebrow. “And if I remember right, I thought it was you asking her to come to your place that night.”

Shit. So the two of them really did talk about everything. That’s not great for her.

“I didn’t mean it,” Paige says, which is very much true—she doesn’t know what she would’ve done if Haven had agreed to come over that night, but she certainly wouldn’t have kissed her. “I just, we were arguing and I wanted to make you jealous so we could, like, kiss and make up.”

Azzi crosses the room to sit on her bed, and Paige hovers awkwardly, wondering if she should follow. She decides on staying put. “I was jealous,” Azzi says. “But it just pissed me off.”

“I know, and it was a stupid thing to do.”

“I just—I thought we weren’t really, like, seeing other people.”

Paige freezes. This is completely outside of argument-at-Ted’s territory and it seems a little more like serious-talk-about-us time. Which Paige is just not prepared for at all. She should’ve made notecards for this.

“I mean—we aren’t—but, like…” Paige trails off, and she knows it’s bad how uncertain she sounds when hurt flashes over Azzi’s expression.

“Have you? Been seeing other people,” she asks, and Paige can tell she’s trying to sound nonchalant, putting on a brave face, but in reality she’s terrified of the answer.

Paige rushes to reassure her. “No, Az, no. Not a—seriously, not a single person. Not since that day at the club.” Not since the day Azzi came to UConn, if she’s being a little more accurate. But Azzi doesn’t need to know that.

Again, Azzi tries to act like it doesn’t affect her. But Paige knows her far too well—far too intimately—to miss the way her features relax, her shoulders lowering just a little bit. “Me neither,” she says softly.

Paige lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding at that. “Okay.”

“So…what does that mean?” Azzi asks tentatively.

Now that Azzi seems a little less guarded, Paige takes her chance to sit beside her on the bed, though not too close. “I dunno,” she says lamely, but when she’s met with a heavily annoyed silence, she sighs and tries desperately to think something up. “I mean. We can’t really be casual and exclusive. That’s not really how that works.”

“Yeah,” Azzi says.

Paige waits for her to pick up the conversation at least a little, but she doesn’t, and Paige is forced to go on. “I don’t—I think it’s not even something I want anymore. The whole casual thing.”

It’s hard, getting the words out, like each syllable is a barrier being broken, and maybe it is. Paige looks down at her hands, fiddles with them, anything so she doesn’t have to watch Azzi’s reaction.

“Paige,” Azzi says quietly.

And when Paige catches the hesitancy in her tone—the fear—she is suddenly too desperate and maybe even too in love to keep quiet just because it’s hard. Because she can’t do this, not again. She can’t watch Azzi walk away without at least putting up a fight.

“I know what I did was wrong,” Paige blurts out before Azzi can say anything else. She looks up, stares at the wall ahead, before turning to Azzi. She tries to detect the look in her eyes and what it may mean, but can’t. “At Ted’s. And I’m sorry. I guess I just—these past six months have been so—I mean, they’ve been good, but they’ve also been super fucking confusing and kinda scary, too. It’s like I’m always on edge waiting for you to end things, so whenever we get too close to how we were—before, in high school—I back out, no matter how hard it is. No matter how good it feels to have you again.”

Azzi opens her mouth, the beginning of a word escaping, but Paige’s heart races and she stands, stopping her. “But I’m realizing that I don’t think I can do that with you. I don’t think I can be just friends with you, or friends with benefits, or even whatever the hell it is we’ve been doing. Every day since you ended things I’ve been a fucking wreck, Azzi.” And it’s true. Her freshmen year had been hard, spent sleeping with random caramel-skinned, dimpled girls to try and fill the Azzi-shaped void in her heart. And the summer after was hell, too, reconnecting with Azzi long-distance and trying to become friends again, acting like they were never anything more. And the past six months has been the worst of it all, because having Azzi but not really having her, keeping her at an arm’s length and teetering on this edge of will she do it again and when will it happen proving almost painful.

Azzi stands, too, stepping in front of her, tilting her chin just slightly up to make eye contact like she’s always had to do. “I didn’t want that, Paige,” she says, almost as if she’s pleading. “I wanted—I thought you’d have more fun if you were single. I thought you’d resent me for, like, tying you down.”

Paige looks at Azzi for a solid few seconds, trying to discern whether she’s fucking with her. And when Azzi doesn’t laugh or tell her this was all a stupid prank she turns around, pushes her hand through her hair, and then faces her again. “Are you fucking for real?”

“Yeah,” Azzi says sheepishly. “I thought—I don’t know. I was also sixteen and stupid and insecure, and I just wanted to make you happy. I didn’t think about what I wanted.” She looks down at her feet. “Didn’t realize how hard it’d be.”

“Yeah, you were stupid,” Paige snaps, and when Azzi flinches, she takes a step towards her. “You really thought that I’d—what, not want you? Want to fucking break up so I could hoe around?”

“Kind of!” Azzi says, throwing her hands in the air. “Things already felt off that summer before you left—“

“Because I didn’t want to leave you!” Paige practically shouts, and she wonders briefly why they never bothered to discuss this before. “I had no idea what I was gonna do when we were so far apart, but you know what? We could have handled it. We could’ve handled a year. I wanted to handle it, if it meant we could stay together.” She takes another step closer, so they’re face-to-face now. “I thought you were bored of me or sum’, you know? I was so fucking hurt.”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you!” Azzi cries. “Obviously I wasn’t bored, Paige, or I wouldn’t have jumped your fucking bones the minute I got to school.”

“And obviously I didn’t wanna be single or I wouldn’t have let you!”

Silence washes over them, and Paige is sure she could hear a pin drop, almost as sure as she is that their teammates are thoroughly listening to this argument outside the door. But she doesn’t care. Not when she’s looking close-up at the girl she’s loved forever and seeing her for the first time in almost two years—inches apart without hidden hurt or secret regrets tucked between them.

They’re both breathing heavy, both affected by everything they’ve just said and everything that still needs to be said but it’s not a surprise that they hold each other’s gazes, both too stubborn to be the first to look away.

And when the eye contact becomes too much for Paige to bear, she decides she will not chicken out, will not let her trepidations hold her back this time. And she leans forward and kisses her.

They’ve kissed—a million times, probably. Maybe more. At this point, they’ve learned each other down to the last breath, the last hair on their heads. They know exactly where to put their hands, exactly how to tell what the other is feeling based off the way they move their lips, exactly what things to say in between kisses. But despite all that, this—this feels brand new. Gentle, and tentative, but excited, too, like they know it’s the mark of something different. Something better.

———————————-

A week later, when Paige appears at her doorstep with a nervous little smile and flowers to take her on their second-first date, Paige asks her about the ‘lame girly song’ she’d been playing on repeat. Azzi tells her the song is not, in fact, lame, and is actually really quite good. She doesn’t admit that she can’t listen to it anymore.

(And, because I know you’re all wondering—yes, the makeup sex was as good as Azzi’d hoped.)

[soullumii]

if my heart’s gonna break | joel miller x f!reader

part 1 (read part 1 before reading this!)

summary: a couple nights later, you head back to joel’s

warnings: 18+!!!! smut again. unprotected piv. fem!afab!reader. angst again don’t worry i’ll make a happy ending okay

word count: 4k

joel mod in gif is by speclizer (so fucking hot oh my GODDDD)

a/n: finally finished part 2 omg i’m sorry for the wait yall… i’m a perfectionist it’s lowkey debilitating. anyways… i hope u guys enjoy <3 tysm for the support on part 1 and tbh on all my other fics too… i can’t believe ppl like my writing that much. i am very grateful! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

im scared but if my heart's gonna break before the night will end

i said we're in danger

sleeping with a friend

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

You cant stop thinking about the kiss. 

The kiss that honestly shouldn’t mean so much to you. You’ve kissed him, like, so many times. So many times his tongue has been in your mouth, been in your damn vagina. So why the fuck… why the fuck are you so worked up over this right now?

It’s just…it was so heavy. It felt like…like more than just a kiss. Like he was laying his life down for you, much like he does in patrols. 

He… Joel… he usually never kisses right after sex. He recognizes in the post-coitus energy that things are different. They mean more. He has to know that. So… why now? Does he…?

No. You’re just in your head again. Maybe you’re thinking about it too hard. You’ve never had a friends with benefits situation before now. Maybe this… maybe this is regular.

But for your own psyche, you think you might have to set some ground rules. 

There was always that main rule, that wretched, critical rule. The one you said to him on the first day of your strange exchange.

“Don’t go falling in love with me, cowboy.”

Well, to hell with that one, right? Pretty sure you’ve beaten that shit to death. Shattered all possible remains of it.

So more rules. More rules will have to do. Starting with:

No kissing.

Should be easy enough. 

You’ll figure out the rest later. You have got to stop thinking about it, though, because you’re on the way to his house right now. 

You knock swiftly on the door, and you swear you feel your heart drop into your pussy the moment he opens the door to reveal himself. A plain, black t-shirt is stretched across his broad chest, haphazardly tucked into a pair of plaid pajama pants that hang loosely around his hips. His graying hair is ruffled beyond belief, curling around his ears and falling over his forehead. In your fits of passion and desire a couple nights ago, you hardly realized it had grown longer. It looks nice.

This sleepy and soft Joel is not one you’ve seen in a while. Well, it’s not like you’ve seen him much lately anyway, with him having been gone and all. Still, it’s disorienting. 

“Howdy,” he says.

“Um. Hi.” You try not to gawk. “Did…did I come at a bad time, or something?”

“No, not at all. I just got back from patrols… took a shower,” he says, leaning a shoulder against the door jamb, strong arms crossing over his chest. There’s a tiny, barely perceptible smirk on his lips. “Need somethin’?”

You see it now, the water clinging to his hair, darkening it, beading at his temples like sweat. You follow a line of water trickling down his throat until it disappears behind his collar.

Rule 2: Don’t come over after he’s showered.

“I…uh, I can come back later if you want—“

You’re nervous to ask him what you want to ask him, which is honestly ridiculous considering you guys have been doing this for months now. You used to be able to just knock on his door and he’d pull you in, and it was that easy. Or you’d give him a look when in public, and he knew exactly what you needed.

Now, you’re painfully awkward. Curse him and curse your feelings.

He straightens a bit, his brows furrowing in slight concern. “What’s goin’ on?”

Heat spreads down your neck, embarrassment. Shame. It’s strange, how just a couple nights ago you let him finger you in public, and now you’re afraid to ask him for sex again in his house and for your panties back.

You should honestly just say something like:

I’m here for my underwear.

And you’re positive he’d say:

Want it back? You gotta earn it, sweetheart.

And your knees would buckle and you’d sink down to the carpeted floor in front of his couch and suck him off until he was coming down your throat, stroking back your hair and thumbing his cum on your plush bottom lip.

But instead you’re scowling at him and blurting: “I need a drink.”

How dare he leave you high and dry for three weeks, come back and fuck the shit out of you, make you realize you’re in love with him, and look this good?

God damnit, you need to get your shit together. 

Joel’s eyes widen, surprised only slightly by your outburst, before he backs up to allow you inside his home. When he shuts the door behind you, his hand settles warmly on your lower back as he steers you toward the kitchen.

He immediately beelines for the liquor cabinet and grabs a bottle of red for you. A warm, tingly feeling stirs in your stomach at the fact that he knew you’d want wine. The frustration you’ve been feeling fizzles out. 

“You know me so well.”

He gives you a light smirk, uncorking the bottle. The liquor gurgles as he pours it into a glass. “Think you’d kill me if I didn’t know after all this time.”

You laugh, “Sure, but the real test of friendship is if you knew how I’d kill you.”

“A swift kick to the nuts and then one of my guitars to my head.”

Your eyes widen on a guffaw. “You think I’d damage one of your guitars?”

“You care more about my guitars than my genitals?” 

“Yes. Why would I ever smash one of your guitars?”

He rolls his eyes. “Kill two birds with one stone—my soul and my body. It’s effective. If you needed to kill me, I’d hope it was like that. Now how would I kill you?” 

You hum in consideration. “Trick question. You wouldn’t—no, you couldn’t.”

“You know me so well.” 

His words mirrored back at you so gently, with his brown eyes trained on you intently has the warmth in your belly spreading, making you drop your gaze.

His smirk grows and he hands you the wine glass and reaches for some homemade brandy. You watch the muscles in his arm flex as he pours, sipping daintily while your mind replays thoughts of filth. Of you dragging that arm between your legs, grinding down on it until—

“So, you really only here for a drink?” He asks with a playful lilt, taking a sip of his own beverage and effectively jolting you out of your daydreaming.

You lean against the island, wondering if you should tell him the truth. From the way he’s looking at you, hungrily and heated, like a lion ready to pounce, you’re tempted to.

But…you’re afraid. You can’t stop thinking about The Rule. The one you broke and the ones you just made. You wonder if whatever might happen between you two tonight will unravel them before you can even put them into place.

You look up at him through your lashes, lips pursed around the rim of the glass. “Maybe, maybe not.”

His eyes darken, tongue darting out to lick his lips of sweet fermented wine. His gaze travels up and down your figure, comfortable and breathable in a t-shirt and shorts. Nothing fancy and cute like your sundress from the other night, because today you had to work. But Joel has never minded what you’ve worn, swearing you always look sexy in anything.

Which is something that also makes you question this friends with benefits situation you have here.

He sets his glass down and eases in closer, curling an arm around your waist to pull you into him. “How high’s the chance then?”

“…What do you mean?”

“I mean what’s the probability that you really did only come here for a drink?” he drawls, eyes following your lips as your tongue dips out to wet them. “Or was there another reason?”

The cold tip of his nose brushes along your throat, lips ghosting over your skin. You tremble in his hold. “Odds are in favor of the first option,” you breathe, “ran out of alcohol at my place.”

“And you couldn’t just stop by the Bison? Had to steal from my stores?”

“You know you have the good stuff.”

“You’re lyin’ but I’ll pretend like you ain’t.”

That makes you laugh, and more tumble out of you when one of his hands traces lazily over your stomach, fingers light and delicate and teasing.

“So why d’ya need a drink?”

Because you’re driving me crazy. Because I’m driving myself crazy. Because the universe wants to fuck me over.

You smile and your free hand skates up his muscled back, your fingers brushing along the stretchy fabric of his tee, your voice soft. “Just needed to destress a little. Work has been intense.”

He grins back, presses it into the spanse between your throat and your shoulder, before he lightly scrapes his teeth over it and lays a gentle bite that has you keening into him, pressing your body against his.

“Well, I could help you destress another way too,” he murmurs, palm squeezing the pudgy flesh of your waist, fingers digging lightly into your muscle.

“Mm… yeah?” you hum, your voice a low purr, back arching. Your breasts press into his chest, and Joel makes a sound deep in his throat in agreement.

He presses you into the island, caging you in with his hands on either side of you. He towers over you, a sweatpant clad leg sliding between yours. 

He leans down to kiss you, and a flashing light blares in your mind — NO KISSING — loud and bright and distracting. You turn your head at the last second, his lips landing on your cheek. But Joel doesn’t pull back, doesn’t question you. He just kisses down your cheek, along your jaw, mouthing at you. Sucking your skin to leave little marks that will either fade or be covered by concealer. 

It used to upset you when he left marks because they’re a pain to cover up. Then, you started to like it. You didn’t mind covering up the marks because when you took the makeup off and saw them at the end of the day, all you could think about was him. About the how he made you come. About the words he muttered in your ear. About the feeling of his hands on you—in you. 

Now, you’re starting to grow upset again, but this time it’s because you want to wear them proudly. Want people to know he gets to claim you like this. But… you can’t. But you also don’t want him to stop.

You allow him to continue marking you up, his hand coming up to rest behind your skull, holding you in place. You press your body into his eagerly and with desperate, soft noises that he returns with placating moans.

And then he shifts, and his thigh ruts against your clothed core, and you moan lightly, airily, grinding your hips down against him, searching for any friction. 

His hands curl around the hem of your white tee, and he peels it off your body. One skates behind your back to easily undo the clasp of your bra, and then your breasts are heavy and on display for him. 

Joel stares down at you with heavy eyes. “Christ, you’re beautiful.”

Longing claws at your chest, and you look up at him coyly, your lip caught between your teeth. Joel groans like he’s in pain, and squeezes along the underside of one of your breasts before leaning down to close his mouth over the nipple while his other hand gives attention to the other, squeezing and pinching. Your hands find purchase in his damp hair as low moans tumble from your lips. 

When he’s deemed one nipple adequately appreciated, he moves onto the next. Licking, revering, his dark eyes peering up at you while his peppered hair is fisted in your hands. The sight has slick arousal pooling in your underwear.

Eventually he pulls back and his hands clamp down on your hips. He guides you along the muscle of his thigh, your clit pulsing at the contact. 

“Want you to come on my thigh, baby.” His voice is a ragged slur of words against your ear, warm and paired with a kiss to your cartilage. 

“Fuck…yes, Joel,” you whimper, sparks flying through your nerves with each roll of your hips.

His fingers grip your chin, tilting your head so you have no choice but to keep eye contact with him as you rut against his thigh. He’s grinning, eyes heavy lidded and deep, dark like wet tar. They suck you in as if they were quicksand.

You’d let him drag you under a million times over. 

Your best friend.

“Joel,” you moan, feeling yourself grow close. Standing at the cliff's edge. His eyes bore into yours, his grin slipping as he focuses on you. Focuses on making you shatter atop him.

“Come on, baby. You can do it. You can come,” he says encouragingly,  fingers stroking the skin of your hip. You feel tears prick your eyes as the waves crash, spreading from your throbbing clit along your muscles. Filling you with warmth, stronger and deeper than the buzz from the wine.

“Good job,” he praises gently. “Did so good.”

“Shut up,” you huff.

He laughs, and despite yourself, heat floods your body, throbs between your thighs. His words caress a deep, carnal animal inside of you, and the hunger takes over.

You frantically pull at his shirt until he has to tell you to slow down, and takes it off himself. Your hands run along his chest and stomach the moment they’re able to and down to the waistband of his sweats. You palm his hardening cock through the soft, gray fabric. Joel groans deep and heavy, his lashes fluttering as he stares you down. His hips thrust into your palm automatically. Involuntarily. 

God, that makes you light up like a firefly. Makes your nerves sing and your cunt flutter and your mind go numb.

He tugs down your shorts and underwear and sets you on top of the granite, but before he can strip the underwear from your ankle to no doubt pocket this pair like he did the other, you flick it off your foot across the kitchen. It lands somewhere near the door to the dining room.

He can’t steal all your underwear, or you’ll have none left.

“I wanted those,” he drawls, expression on the edge of a pout.

“Yeah, well I need them. It’s not common to come across a good pair of panties in this world.” 

“But I’d give ‘em back.” He’s full on pouting now. It is, unfortunately, very cute, but you’re used to it.

“Sure… like the pair you took from me the other night that I have yet to receive.” 

“How else am I supposed to get you to come over?” 

“I dunno? Maybe ask?”

“Should I leave a note on your door? Is that good enough for you?”

“At least be classy. A letter delivered in my mailbox with a wax stamp, please.” 

He laughs. “As you wish, Princess.”

He finally peels off his sweatpants, free of underwear beneath them, and you watch with barely concealed hunger as his cock springs free. 

And while you like the idea of him fucking you on the counter, you’d much rather him fuck you against the counter, so you hop down and turn so your back faces him. Your hands curl around the granite lip of the counter top, and you push your ass out and back, peering at him over your shoulder.

This way, it’s easier for him not to kiss you. Easier for you to turn your head and deny your lips to him. 

“Look at you…” Joel hums appreciatively at your show, at the wiggle of your hips as his palm smooths down your back and over your ass, squeezing at the plump flesh. 

You moan quietly, and Joel’s eyes darken, watching you intently like you’re the only thing in the room. 

His fingers drift down to your cunt and your slickness coats his fingers fully. You’re so wet for him. So ready for him to bury himself inside you and call you his.

It’s funny, you’ve lost all your heat from a few nights ago. All your sharp edged words. Now, you’re soft and pliant.

He swirls his soaked index and middle fingers along your clit, punctuating your sensitivity, before sliding them back inside you to the knuckle. You keen and push back, desperate for more. His fingers are so much longer than yours, thicker, and yet you crave more.

“That’s it, Joel,” you huff. “Fuck, feels so good. Need more.”

“Yeah? Tell me what you need, baby girl.”

Shame lights your cheeks, but you push down the embarrassment. “Need…need your cock inside me.”

He lays a kiss on your neck. “Still a bit desperate aren’t we?”

“You’re the desperate one, Mr. Panty Stealer. You’re a fucking creep.”

He chuckles against your neck, but he squeezes your ass in retaliation. “Be nice, would you?”

“You like it when I’m mean.”

“Wanna see how much I like it?”

“If you’re willing to show me and get on with this, sure.”

He huffs in amused frustration. “God, you’re annoyin’.”

You just smile innocently at him.

Your legs tremble, slick running down your thighs when Joel pulls his fingers out. He replaces them with the hardness of his cock, of which he runs along your wetness, readying himself.

“I think ‘bout you way too much,” he says into your back, pressing a gentle kiss there. “D’ya think ‘bout me too?”

It’s an odd question. One you’re not expecting. One that has your heart stuttering in quiet confusion from this sudden switch in tone.

“Of course I do.” Obviously. You told him as much. Three weeks. Three weeks you thought about him.

“Good… wanna be the only thing on your mind.”

A high pitched keen hisses through your teeth as Joel eases himself inside you with a long, slow stroke and a low moan. Your fingers white knuckle the countertop, gripping it tightly.

He presses in close, burying himself all the way in before he withdraws slowly, his cock sliding inside you torturously. 

“Joel,” you moan.

“I know, baby.” He presses kisses to your shoulders. 

Joel’s hand gravitates to the back of your knee, and he slowly pushes up to lift your leg until your knee is resting on the counter. 

And then… with this new angle…he starts fucking you in earnest.

His hips snap against your ass, the sound deafening in the kitchen, and you crumple against the granite with a moan.

“Shit,” Joel grunts. “Yeah.”

Each of his heavy thrusts punches the air from your lungs, and your fingers slip on the countertop, scrabbling for purchase every chance you can get. He’s hot, thick inside you, warm as he folds over you, his hand on your tummy holding you upright, the other keeping your leg up to continue hitting you at that pleasant, delicious angle.

“H-holy shit—oh—“

He breathes heavily at your neck, low grunts and moans escaping his lips from his efforts. “Could spend eternity inside you, darlin’. Fuck, you’re mine.”

Your heart stutters, the words uttered in a lust filled craze, likely meaning nothing. But to your traitorous brain, to the hope lingering in your chest like a persistent cough, they mean everything. 

“All…” you’re losing your train of thought, fucked into blissful nothingness. “All yours, Joel.” 

It’s too difficult for him to kiss you from this angle, which you’re relieved about. But a part of you longs for it, longs for the feel of his mouth moving against yours. 

Joel’s strong arm wraps around your chest, and pulls you up so you’re flush against his back as he pounds up and into you. Keens and whimpers and breathless pants escape you with every thrust.

“Please, Joel,” you cry, tears pricking at the edges of your swirling vision.

“What, baby?” He huffs. “Need’a come?”

You nod crazily. “Yes—need to—“

“Shhh okay… I’ve got you,” he murmurs gently, the hand wrapped around your tummy inching down to circle at your clit steadily.

Your legs buckle beneath you but Joel keeps you upright as the pleasure soars through you, sudden and strong. He strokes you through it, groaning praises into your ear before he comes inside you a moment later. 

The two of you hiss in tandem when he pulls out, but he smothers it when he lays his mouth over yours. You’re hardly coherent enough to remember your rule, and for a moment you let him kiss you. You kiss him back, chasing the heat of his mouth with your own, moaning against his lips when his tongue dips into your mouth. 

Then, you remember.

You pull back panting, cheeks a flame, “Joel.”

“Hm?” He murmurs, dragging his lips down your jaw before moving back up to pull you into another kiss. You move away before he can. His brows furrow in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t… I don’t think we should kiss anymore.”

He blinks. “What? Why?”

Your eyes flit across the kitchen, catching on labeled jars and wooden spoons and spices, anything but his own. “It’s too intimate.” 

It’s a lame excuse. Joel sees through it immediately.

“And my cock inside you ain’t?”

You sigh heavily, avoiding eye contact. “It’s different.”

“How? Enlighten me.” His tone has gone rougher. Hurt swirls in his eyes, and you feel worse than you did the other night.

Because you and I are friends. Because I don’t think I can pretend like that’s the truth when all I want is to call you mine. Because when I kiss you it’s like my world finally starts to make sense. 

“Please, Joel. Just…I don’t want to do it anymore. Can you respect that, please?”

He runs a hand down his beard, his hurt expression hardening into a stoic one you haven’t been on the receiving end of in years. Fuck. “Alright, I’m sorry. I won’t kiss you anymore.”

You expect relief but all that comes is a deep longing and sadness that you try to push to the depths of your conscience. Though, like a buoy, it keeps popping above the surface. 

“Thanks,” you say quietly.

The cleanup is awkward. He watches you silently as you pick up your underwear and slide them and your shorts back on. He seems far away, here and gone all at once. It makes you worry, makes you wonder if what you just said was the biggest mistake of your life.

But you have to do this. You have to hold him at arm's length because if you admit to him…if you tell him how you really feel… maybe he really will leave you. He’ll realize you’ve gone and fucked everything up, and the friendship you’ve kindled, the trust you’ve built, will all be for nothing.

You can’t lose him, even if it means you can’t keep him close.

“Thanks for tonight,” you say eventually, when he’s walking you out the front door.

He smiles at you, faint and untrue. It’s like the one from the other night. Like that laugh he forced out for you. You feel like a Joel from the past has teleported to the present, with his thin smile and his hard eyes. “Yeah, of course.”

“You okay?”

Joel frowns, shifts on his feet. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno. You just seem… I don’t know. Never mind.”

“I’m good.” 

“You sure?”

He nods. “You need me to walk you home?”

“No, I’ll be okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you hum. A moth circles the porch light. The two of you stare at each other for a long moment. He looks as if he wants to say something, but thinks better of it.

“Okay,” is all that he says. 

“Okay,” you repeat, feeling empty. A waif, a lonely white flag waving in the wind. “Um, I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yeah, sounds good. Night, darlin’,” he says, squeezing your arm, like he’s trying to be normal. It doesn’t work. His hand is cold. “Sweet dreams.”

“Night, Joel.”

It’s raining by the time you reach your house, and you curl under your blankets after a shower, your hair cold and wet against your scalp, listening to the droplets splattering against your window.

Sleep doesn’t come easy.

part 3

[cerridwen007]

Icy Hot.

Images above from pinterest are for aesthetic purposes only*

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader (afab)

Word count: 1.4k MINORS DNI!(18+)

Summary: Javi finds a new, interesting way for you to cool down during a hot Colombian day.

Notes/warnings: SMUT, temperature play, toys, inappropriate use of ice cubes, Javi being a cheeky menace, body worship, male masturbation, javi picks reader up but he is a strong boy and can pick up any one, probably bad spanish, swearing, no y/n.

A/N: Wrote this months ago but couldn't be bothered editing it again till now so here it is finally. I live in the southern hemisphere so now and especially at the time of writing this, it was stinking hot, which of course prompted the idea. Any interactions with my posts are appreciated, hope yall enjoy. love ya!

*********

It was a scorching hot Sunday afternoon in Bogotá; Columbia, a rare day off for both you and Javi that was usually spent out and about hanging with friends, cleaning the apartment and spending some quality time with each other. But unlike those others treasured Sundays, absolutely nothing was being achieved by either of you today. The both of you were sprawling out in your underwear on the couch. A situation that usually would've prompted some very heated activities, but both of your brains seemed to have been fried and groggy from the sweltering temp in the apartment.

The windows were shut to keep out as much of the heat as possible and the nasty flies that came with the summer heat. The dusty old fan beside the coffee table did next to nothing in cooling you down, instead pushing the hot warm back onto you. You looked over at Javi, leaning back into the couch, legs and arms spread out as he leans on the back of the couch. God, he looked so delicious even in these circumstances.

A drop of sweat beaded at his temple and fell down his jaw and neck. Licking your lips, you could almost taste the salty taste lingering on your tongue. You sighed, knowing getting handsy right now, as tempting as it was with such a handsome boyfriend who looked extremely hot right now would only make you even more overheated. You lifted one of your hands to help fan yourself, a feeble attempt to take your mind off the heat, uncomfortably sticking like a second skin to all of your body.

Javi, on the other hand, was thinking about how he could cool you down. He hated seeing you so tired and exhausted from the heat, a nice Sunday spoiled by the overbearing heat of Columbia. Suddenly, it hits him, a wide smirk spreading on his face before he can stop it. Luckily, you're too buzzed out to notice. He quickly sneaks off to your bedroom to retrieve something.

You, a curious creature usually would have immediately wondered what he was up to but right now you couldn't care less with the humidity causing your skin to glisten with salty stick drops of sweat, and your brain reduced to mush, you were unable to give much of a second thought to his actions.

You close your eyes as the heat brings you to a light sleep but manage to pick on some muffled noises of Javi mucking around in the kitchen. After a few minutes, but what seems like hours in your disoriented state, Javi tip toes behind the couch where you are resting and reaches out to trace an ice cube along your collarbone.

Your body jolts, unexpecting of the drastically different temperature melting down below your neck. Your eyes flick open, eyebrows automatically raising to question what the hell on earth Javier was doing.

"Relax Hermosa, just thought I'd try something different to try and cool us down."

He reaches his palm down, cupping your face, doing his very best puppy eyes to try to convince you to let him try out his idea. Biting your lip, you tried to hide your grin. Javi smiles deviously, knowing you better than yourself, that you are already sold on the idea. He walks around to the front of the couch, popping one of the ice cubes in his mouth and grins.

He straddles your lap, you almost whine feeling his already hard cock, pressed up against your aching core. He presses his lips to the side of your neck, instantly creating goosebumps throughout your body. Your body arches into his as his icy cold lips trace down the curves of your sticky body. He reaches behind you and carefully undoes your bra behind your back, throwing it to the ground, revealing your swollen nipples.

A deep groan arises from the back of his throat as he watches a droplet of water melt between the valley of your breasts, his pupils double in size, transfixed by the sight before him. The ice cube now fully melted leaves his tongue still cold as he attaches his lips to the painfully hard peaks on your chests, making you moan loudly. His eyes go between closing in bliss to looking up at your beautiful features. His hips subconsciously grind into yours, further prolonging the aching of your clit.

Your fingers dig into Javier's fluffy hair as the heat begins to overcome your body again. You whine feeling a need for more and because of the discomforting heat.

Seeing how your body was both warmed up and cooled down he withdrew his lips from your nipples and placed a few kisses down your stomach before getting up off the couch to go and retrieve something else from the kitchen.

"Close your eyes, mi diosa." He softly tells you.

You swallow harshly and close your eyes, gut swirling with anticipation of what Javi had in store next. Before your brain can wander, you feel a very cold large object touch ever so slightly to your clit through your panties, the action making every single inch of your skin immediately flare up in goosebumps again, eliciting a soft whine to fall from your lips. Which earns a chuckle from Javier. Your eyes open slowly to find a smirking Javier sitting on the other end of the couch with one of your old toys.

"Javi...?" You ask breathlessly.

"I know, I know I've said I like to be the only thing to satisfy your needs, but I obviously couldn't put my dick in the freezer." He jokes.

You smile wide, but before you can respond he quickly wips your underwear off as he places the tip back onto your clit and slowly drags it downwards through your drenched folds.

"Ffffuck..." you moan.

"I'll get there, don't worry, sweetheart." He winks.

You exhale a breathy laugh that turns into a moan as Javi continues dragging the tip back and forth through your lips, catching on your clit with every motion. You weren't sure what had come over, Javi. He usually wasn't so playful in the bedroom, but you didn't mind it one bit.

Keep his eyes transfixed on your body, studying every inch like a painting. He palms himself through his black boxers. He nudges the tip of the dildo at your entrance, holding it there. You squirm trying to push it inside you, desperate to be filled by something. 

"Please.....Javi..." you whine weakly.

"Dime que lo quieres, dime cuánto lo necesitas." Javier whispers, as he slowly pulls himself out of his draws and strokes his length. His eyes roll back as his head falls between his shoulders from the feeling after depriving himself for so long. But he soon forces himself to look at the pure desperation on your face.

"Please.....fuck please Javi...need it so bad...please just give me something... anything." You plead , begging as you try and grind upwards, seeking some stimulation.

Javier swallows deeply, feeling his cock ache from your words. 

"Fuck mi vida, look so fucken pretty when you beg for be me."

You gasp as he quickly slips half of the dildo deep into your heat. The cool silicone easing the fiery walls. Javi spits on his tip and begins furiously stroking himself, trying his best to match the same pace as he fucks you with the pink toy. Within minutes, both of you are reduced to a whimpering mess.

"Mmm this pussy is all mine, ain't she?"

Before you can respond, he reaches out to stick his thumb in your mouth. You quickly take it, sucking harshly, leaving it covered in spit. He groans, watching you, pinching the base of his dick to keep from coming just yet.

He resumes his original plan and brings his wet thumb to your throbbing clit. Circling it gently just how you like it.

“Need you come for me sweetheart... come for me." He moans.

Your hands fly out and grip Javier's veiny forearm to anchor yourself to him as your high overcomes you.

"Oh...ffffuck...Javi..."

He fucks you harshly with deep fast strokes through your high, mimicking his own strokes as he begins to reach his climax.

He comes onto your thighs and mound before collapsing his upper half on your stomach.

You smile at him, eyes peeking open at his messy, post sex hair. You reach out and swipe it out of his face, scratching his scalp.

"Mmmh, feeling cooler yet, amor?" he asks.

"I mean, I did, but now I think it's time for a cold shower so we can really cool down."

You wink.

He grins widely, chuckling as he picks you up, throws you over his shoulder and carries you to the shoulder. It was going to be a long hot night, in more ways than one, but at least Javi reckons he saw some ice blocks in the freezer earlier…

*************

Translations: ‘mi diosa’ - my goddess

‘Mi vida’ - my life.

‘Dime que lo quieres, dime cuánto lo necesitas’ - ‘Tell me how much you want it, tell me how much you need it.’

************

[knightyoomyoui]

[SMUT] TWICE Nayeon x Male Reader - “Is There Someone Else?”

Surprise, surprise! This is my first full smut work that I will only be posting here in my Tumblr account knowing how strict Wattpad is currently with mature contents like this. I hope yall like this especially those readers of mine who are familiar enough reading smutty fanfic works. However, I wouldn’t consider this being my first time to attempt writing such completely out of my usual only fluffy/angsty one-shots formula and challenge myself on creating something different as I already did it with my other fic titled “Catching Feelings” ft. TWICE Jihyo from the Set 5 line-up of my TWICE: Book Of One-Shots X Reader book (look it up on my masterlist) although that is mainly fluff and the smut is only very short but please understood me if yall might find this boring since I’m still a beginner. Enjoy reading and have a nice day everyone! (A/N: This is inspired from the song "Is There Someone Else?" by one of my all time favorite artists The Weeknd from his awesome album ‘Dawn FM’.) WARNING: Contains mature R+18 content.

The cold, silent night just reached the 9:00 PM mark. You were sitting in the couch, legs crossed and sporting a strict demeanor staring at the door, waiting for your girlfriend who just knocked and made her way inside by opening it.

"I'm home." She said as she saw your figure already prepared to welcome her as she entered the house. Nayeon didn't even bother to notice at your strange aura at first, not until when she removed her shoes and shoulder bag off her body.

"Where did you go?" You asked her in a monotonous tone.

"I went out with friends, why?" She asked you while raising her brow.

"Plural. You sure there's more than you and whoever guy it may be that you're with earlier?" Now your arms crossed and glared at her weakly, shifting your presence to an authorative image.

"Jihyo and Jeongyeon were also with me and Junghee when we went strolling at the mall." She clarified, but that didn't satisfied you enough. You have another plan in mind to play with your rules, to ensure her glory of you believing her words.

"Oh okay then. But I assume that despite they are around, he's still stuck on your side through most of the time; isn't it?"

"YN, where are we heading with this? A-are you suspecting me?" She questioned confusingly, her brows are now knitted to one another.

"You won't answer my question?" You didn't responded to her own concern, throwing back the same treatment to her. Standing up from the couch that shortly became uncomfortable for the first time as you're facing her with all these worrying what ifs in your head, you slowly trailed across her.

"YN?"

Towering at her frame, inches close against each other; you pursed your head in her collar and sniffed. "I won't mind not receiving any answers from you, I already can tell it anyway based from his smell lingering your clothes.", you said; mentioning that familiar expensive perfume only suitable for men like you.

She stepped back, separating herself away from you with judgmental look in her face. "What the hell? So you really are thinking that I'm secretly meeting up with him without your knowing?"

"How can you blame me so, Nayeon?" You didn't circled the topic any longer, revealing your side and what urged you to confront her like this tonight. "It's been days since you keep on leaving the house with all your short and lacking excuses, and you just take my permissions I give to you as your advantage, without having any idea that I'm holding myself to beg you not to go Nayeon."

"Don't you see? We almost had a little amount of time to spend alone together, and I just want you to stay with me and enjoy having you on my side everyday but... what you're doing just starts to fill up these... doubts and uneasiness in me that you- you're hiding something from me that I don't wanna know." Nayeon frowned as she finally realized and understood why you suddenly became observative and moody with her. It was all her fault, she owned. She knows that she didn't do it with all intention or want to find ways not to have you moving around from her because of the thought that she maybe-

Oh no. She halted from processing your words in her mind, but it didn't prevented her for hearing additional question that you have in store for her.

"Nayeon, is there someone else? Was there a chance that this person is trying to take you away from me?" You asked her straightfully. Staring deep into her eyes that widened as she heard that huge question setting your relationship with her on line with it, she wandered at your pityful state. Eyes are droopy, lips curved in reverse, sadness visible in your face.

"N-no, no! YN! Never. Don't think of that, okay? I love you and only you! Ask Jeongyeon and Jihyo, they’ll tell you that I’m right!" She frantically said as she cupped your cheeks with both of her big, slender hands.

You remained unmovable with the entire view of Nayeon's beauty that you don't want to lose, desperately assuring you that she don't want the same either.

From the tone of her words, she is nearly getting you believe from it. But, you still don't want to disregard what you prepared for her to do tonight. Take it as something you and her definitely need. It has been a week that both you and her won't share any intimate moments together, and this is opportunity laid in front of you tonight to do so.

You gently removed her hands from pressing your cheeks, much to Nayeon's shock especially when she had contact from your head movement doing a disapproving shake.

Stepping away from her this time, Nayeon nervously hops in her feet as her body began to shiver in fear. "W-what? YN! No, please! What do I need to do for you to believe me?"

That question perfectly activated the go signal to do your plan. Slowly glancing at Nayeon who seems to be almost emotional in front of you, you tried to compose your bland expression to her. You want her to submit for you tonight, she is playing your game... and you're the one in charge of her.

You sat back from your couch. "Take off your clothes."

Nayeon looked at you puzzledly. "W-what?"

"Don't make me repeat again, I said, take off your clothes. Turn around as you do it."

Nayeon gulped at your unexpected request. If she's eager to earn your forgiveness and this is the solution you require, she won't protest at all to follow; you're her boyfriend anyways and to be honest, she's been wanting this to happen with you since from the start when you and her became official.

She turned around, her back figure is now facing you. Starting off with her belt, she began to unlock and dishevel it from her waist; hanging it at the back of the chair.

Her hands went to the zipper behind her rose designed red and white colored blouse and unzipped it, allowing the clothing to adjust for her to pull it upwards slowly from her top area. Her white laced bra aligning at the width of her gorgeous back is now open for you to witness and began enjoying it.

Half-naked, Nayeon proceeds with her skirt that matches with the apperance of her blouse; detaching the button and slip it down from her feet. She bended down, her brown hair fell and nearly reached the floor but you didn't cared that much when there's a more distracting part of hers that you have to focus on rather.

Her plump round ass hidden by her matching white panties effectively got you aroused. It would lose eventually compared to the other sight made by Nayeon when she turned around and present you her front side. You can definitely see her B-cup sized breasts encapsulated by her white bra which caused your dick to began harden on your shorts.

Nayeon saw the formation of tent done by your erected shaft, the lust in her barging to take control. She unawaringly grinds her thighs together as you stood up in front of her.

You wrapped your arm around her small waist, pushing her closer to you. Your hidden friend bumped at Nayeon's abdomen which made the woman whimper. "God, you're so heavenly attractive Nayeon."

You kissed Nayeon on the lips, tongue engaged on dancing to the rhythm with each other's movements. Breaking off your make-out session with her, you carried her up by lifting her ass; her legs locked around your waist.

Entering to your bedroom that is now willingly shared with your girlfriend, you entered and laid Nayeon on the bed; dropping her weight without care; as if it would hurt her crashing down to your bed's soft mattress.

Positioning on top of her, you kissed her again on the lips; caressing the locks of her hair from the side while she does the same from the back of your head.

"Tonight, I just want you to show me that I'm all yours."

Nayeon only nodded, she didn't want to speak for now. All she wants is to anticipate the incoming pleasure to be sent by you and her from each other's bodies.

You leaned away from her face before removing your shirt and throwing it aside. Lowering down and kneeled beside the bed, you began praising her godly sculptured body by showering kisses through her legs, knees, and those healthy thighs.

Nayeon huffed in the air as the sensation arises when you matched your kisses with gentle touches from your hands roaming in her smooth skin.

Your face meets her shielded treasure. Annoyed at the distraction, your fingers dug onto the bands and pulled her panties away as she helps you by raising both of her legs.

Her juicy, pink pussy that is now obviously desperate of your attention has now freed. Your thumb and the rest of your fingers first massaged the underside and the corners of her ass, thighs and her pussy to take your time teasing her.

"P-please eat me, baby. Don't tease me any longer, it needs you."

You obliged at her pleads. Your active hands paused for a while to hold her thighs open for you to comfortably move as you began licking her slit with your tongue, earning a sexy alluring moans and heavy breathing from your lover.

It continues as you savor the taste of her delicious pussy, biting and sucking off her flesh and nub before you entered your two fingers inside her walls as you stimulate her clit.

"Mmmhhh Y-YN yes, right there. Oohhh yeah keep eating me please."

Her hands leads to your hair as she gripped it to push your face closer on her needy and horny pussy, already dripping wet from the tongue and finger fucking you're giving to her.

You began increasing the speed of your fingers inserting in and out of her tight hole along with your flicking and wiggling of your tongue to her bloated clit.

"Ooohhh yesss Y-YN oh my god I'm cumming I'm cumming!!!"

Nayeon shouts as slimy and sticky juices of her sprayed all over your face in response to the orgasm you elicited on her. Her squirt took a little longer before it stopped, you tasted her own sweet fluid first before heading on next to other spots that deserves appreciation too.

You left a trail of kisses to her nicely built torso, over and under her belly button. She watches your head arises until it finally stops right in front of her cleavage.

In the assistance of your slick hands, you unclipped the front of her bra between the cups before taking it off, letting those small but handful and round breasts slightly jiggle in your eyes.

Licking your lips, you groped those mounds with every random directions, massaging those firm pillows as they gave a marshmallow feeling in your hands.

"Them also, YN. You can suck those tits, baby."

With regards to her command, you began sucking on her nipples and circle your tongue around those brown areolas. Giving those bosoms fair treatment, you switched side by side; one hand playing while the other being sucked carefully by you.

Nayeon moaned at how actually good it feels of your mouth tasting her delicious orbs. She begged more and more for you to keep doing it until you decided to finish worshipping her body by kissing her chest, shoulder, neck, cheeks until it brought you back again to her candy lips.

"You can't be the only one being pleasured, baby. Help me too with this. Hang your head at the edge of the bed for me."

She listened, pushing her body more to let her upsided head flailing out of the bed's surface. You get out from her and stood in front of her as you removed your short, making her gasp and sprung her eyes out at your engorged length of your big cock now escaped from your clothed prison.

Directing your shaft at her lips first to ready herself, you slowly pushed forward and successfully entered her mouth as you slowly fucked her upside down face with your pair of full balls dangling above her nose.

You moaned and whimpered at how awesome her mouth and that soft tongue rotating around your girth to add the satisfying sensation which encouraged you to got faster on your fucking.

Gurgles and slurps from Nayeon sucking your cock echoed in the bedroom. You grasped her bouncing breasts for attention as you continued drilling her mouth until you reach your end.

"Nayeon, I'm cumming! Take it all!!!"

Three last strokes is all it takes for you to gave up and release your streaks of pearly white cum to flood Nayeon's available mouth. You pumped your cock a little bit more to ride your orgasm before you slipped off, allowing Nayeon to easily swallow your cream.

Going back to business, you kneeled in front of Nayeon's body still laid on her back to the bed. Giving each other trusting nods, you inserted your dick inside her pussy. It made Nayeon's lower half shiver as she willingly takes all of your length until you're balls deep inside of her.

Slow and careful rhythm is what you gave Nayeon to let her indulge the feeling. You leaned forwards and kissed Nayeon passionately while you remained grinding on her.

Soon your pace became faster, her legs now encircled around your body not wanting to let you go. Her moans and groans gets louder to join you too as both were now in a midst of a wonderful sensation.

"Oh God, you're so tight Nayeon! You're gripping my cock so bad."

"Mmm ughhh yes yes YN pound me faster, harder! You're filling me up inside."

"I'm about to cum, Nayeon!"

"D-do it outside, babe. I'm not safe yet."

Her support and encouragement has what led you to chase the impending finish of your composure as you finally fired the shots of your second load straightly aimed on Nayeon's valley between her breasts, her torso and above her pulsing pussy.

The adrenaline cursing in your veins, pressure and efforts you poured in to assure that you are indeed pleasing your girlfriend's desires has what led you to tire yourself down, sending your body to lay beside Nayeon who is now resting after giving her a great missionary fucking.

"I'm still up for one last round. Care to join me, love?"

"Yeah me too. With you and this great sex were having? Always." She turned her head at you and smiled gracefully.

"She's indeed loyal to me. I have to apologize for her later."  You took a mental note for yourself. Those choice of words that she replied at you fulfilled the reassurance of your trust and safety of your current relationship with her.

Your happiness and gratitude outranked all emotions that the entire 2 years and counting of having Nayeon as your girlfriend won't get interrupted and ended up getting wasted because this woman beside you will remain sharing the same undeniable and unmatched love with you.

You kissed Nayeon again as a gesture on behalf of everything that fills in your heart solely because of her before turning her body sideways, her back is now facing you again as you slapped one of her asscheeks emitting a gasp and hisses from your pretty lady.

Groping her petite breasts while she reaches for your cock to harden again, it didn't last long for your wood to reaawakened before aligning it on the crack of her ass and inches by inches you managed to bury your dick inside Nayeon's rear.

You instinctively felt her move a little to adjust herself at your size so you remained frozen for seconds, not wanting to do it if it'll only result hurting Nayeon. Your main purpose was to have a good time and catch up with all those times you and her haven't got to enjoy being together as couple.

She gave you a few pats on your wrist to signal you that she's now okay, so you hold one of her legs and hooked it up while your other one went beneath on her curves and caressed her breast as you started fucking her in a spooning position.

Claps, moans, grunt and squeaks of the bed were the only noises audible inside the bedroom as you and Nayeon would perform one last make-love and vanilla sex in the middle of the young night.

Her ass was even tighter than her pussy, enveloping and pumps your entire length where at this point you don't know if you can last longer of pounding her from behind.

She reaches for your head and pulled it closer against her, kissing you head while you sync it with your fingers tugging her nipples, squeezing her soft flesh and increased pace of your cock jamming her occupied hole.

Few more strokes is what all it takes for you to meet the brim of your end as you released another batch of your load for the third time inside her reddened peach and fill it without dispute.

You slowly removed your beaten and throbbing cock stained with both of your fluids out of her used, gaped asshole that is now overflowing with a few amount of your cum, dripping down to her ass and thighs.

Nayeon is now cuddling beside you, still both naked in the bed, resting from the effects of engaging such great sex from both lovers. She looks up on you which you noticed from your peripheral vision.

"I really do love you, YN. I hope what we just had tonight speaks it all. D-do you believe me now?"

You looked back at her and flashed a timid smile. "I am. And I'm sorry that it crossed my mind to bring you into this. I-I just missed being close with you, Nayeon. I really thought there's a man out there that is now close to your heart as much as I do.

I got scared, Nayeon. I didn't want to lose my spot. I wanted to keep you close and I don't wanna be hurt and left alone. If ain't gonna be with you then I don't wanna be like that anymore."

Thankfully, Nayeon smiled at your understandable reason; caressing your chest then your hair. She was touched and softened at your frown knowing how sincere you were at your explaining.

"I'm sorry too if I made you feel like that, YN. I didn't meant to do it, I swear. Maybe I got too caught up on hanging out with my friends because I haven't seen them for months. For Junghee, I have no interest in him okay? In fact, he's already seeing another woman."

You looked at her in surprise. "Oh, wait. Really?"

She nodded innocently. "Yup. His smell that you noticed on me a while ago also, well we discussed it in dislike with Jeongie and Ji too that his perfume is very strong our noses couldn’t handle inhaling it too much whenever we get near to him. It kinda annoys me now that when he slipped on the mall and I catched him from his back, his smell passed onto me.”

"Damn it, now I even feel bad that I didn't even let you speak your side." You said with regret as you facepalmed.

Nayeon laughed and slapped your chest not so harshly. "I don't mind about it. Atleast you gave me a great first time sex with you tonight. That's what matters to me now."

"Can't wait for more of this next time." She added as a hot whisper to your ear. You smirked, remembering what she said and definitely you would love to share that level of intimacy with her all over again.

"Oh you don't know how much I look forward to it."

She squeezed herself more into your body, her breast is now compressed to your arm. "I love you, YN. Every single time. I would never look for other, why would I if I have the best man with me that I can cherish for the rest of my life. So please, I'm sorry and don't be afraid anymore babe. I'm staying with you until the end."

You kissed her in the forehead and hold her hand. "I know, and so am I. I forgive you, Nay. I love you too so much that I would literally want to be with you forever."

Both of you kissed again on the lips before none dared to speak after. You observed that Nayeon already slept within your arms.

Tracing the features of this exceptional beauty that chose you out of all the guys around in this world, you can help anymore but to release a few streams of your tears filled with joy based from what Nayeon entirely told you earlier.

There's really no someone else other than you. To think that you would gladly spend the rest of your life with Nayeon, her heart and soul in safe hands; you began to form a new plan in your mind that will place yourselves one step closer to the next chapter of your love story with Nayeon: prepare for your engagement ring and proposal that you will give to her soon.

[the-moon-files]

Waaaa, I LOVE your writing for Linked Universe! >w< I've never thought about the trope of humans as space orcs, but I love it now djfngd- If you don't mind me asking, is there anything that the reader might be weak to (comedic or otherwise)? Or is he basically indestructible/immune to a lot of things?

sorry for late reply!! ;-; thank u sm for saying that abt my writing, and yess yesss my humans v hylians au agenda is spreading lets gooo!!!

(bro u know ur desperate for gifs when ur making ur own atp jfc 💀)

Sun: Guide!Reader, Masc Male Reader (he/him)

Orbit: LONG AS HELL Headcanons-ish, Humans are not hylians AU

Stars: Classic Chain of Links, not specific

Comets & Meteors: CWs: mild cussing, typical Loz violence, weight is mentioned as a weakness/detriment,

& TWs: Possible weight trigger, reader is described as heavy and weight has a negative impact on environment, but in a way thats meant to convey they "weigh more" bc theyre human in comparison to hylians/hylian built things ( for ex: hylians are hollow boned compared to humans).

Please stop reading at line "alright thats all for sleeping for rn, i could keep going but i wanna get to weight issue a little bit even tho ive got less for it" if you want to avoid explicit details of this.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so I could see this being both crack and angst fuel tbh

ive talked abt this somewhat on other posts/asks, but figured i could really get into all the potential weaknesses over here since ive gotten a lot of ideas abt it!

so a quick list of things ive thought of that could be weaknesses, both based on like, if this were a “video game to real world” format for us, coming from earth, and other junk ill explain

in no particular order, some weakness ideas ive had (or other anons tbh!):

weight, much heavier than Links/avg hylian (sink to bottom when swimming/cant ride their horses/cant be carried out when hurt/sick/etc.)

slow healing when u do get injured, compared to quick healing hylians who can just eat food to get better quicker

magic absorption (too much juice, body not accustomed, get sick, like eating too much magic food/using too much of magic tools/weapons)

or magic negation (cant get healed by magic, for ex: if a dragon is all magic, then u cant ride it, or if food is magical u cant eat it)

easy to get sick (new environment/ppl/area/etc.)

fall damage (tho greater height) is still applicable

hylians dont have the same pack-bonding/affection/social needs as humans, like how Wild + most Links could do their whole adventure by themselves, rarely talking to anyone, if you’ve ever seen the survival show “Alone”, one of the first things that get them to quit isnt the terrain/little food (tho thats usually next), its the fact they get lonely and miss their spouses/family/friends, sad af, youd have to assault the links for attention and hope ur not annoying the fuck outta them all the time 😭���

stamina, ur stuck w/whatever u had before getting whisked away (for example: u just have to hope ur immune to guardian beams bc u may not be able to outrun one 💀, or just bc u can swim against the tide doesnt mean u can do so for very long, depending on ur stamnia)

not rlly a weakness, but u having a different perception of what’s “too little” clothing compared to the medieval time period hylians lmao

needing more sleep than hylians, from how in game they either outright dont need sleep, can go with only a few hours and fight Ganon, or other nonsense around sleeping, ACTUALLY also hylians being able to sleep anywhere in any position, whereas u need a good 8-9 hours every night to function normally (u cant rlly take shifts at night w/o getting fucked) and u also need a half-decent sleeping bag/not hardass ground to sleep on w/o getting morning dew soaking u thru (ive been on many misadventures camping, so i could rlly get into it when it comes to wilderness camping yall, like im not high maintenance but there are def some bare minimum things u need to function in the wild, trust me guys, its a thing/pet peeve of mine to get into how a 10 person constant camping trip would acc function 💀)

if you’ve got any other ideas, pls comment them or shoot an ask my way! these were all i could think of for rn

so im just gonna pick the ones ive expanded the least on in other posts, like the sleeping thing, weight thing, and im abt to do another ask (🥺<33) abt the human culture v hylian thing so thatll do for now

SO to continue the rlly long sleep weakness (srry)

to my credit, ive been tent camping pretty frequent in past couple years, with either my sibling, or sib and a friend, in the ruralness of our homestate (we’re in southern part of US)

like as a quick rundown of my creditable-ness, bc im sure ur like “moon. nobody cares what u have to say, ur prob chronically online bro” nah, dude, read this bs:

U can skip this if u just trust me, this is just a mildly entertaining lore dump of mine for proof i know anything at all abt tent camping:

for ref, ive: slept all night in a hammock w/a sheet bc the air mattress deflated/was sleeping on the ground otherwise which is borderline impossible to do even when exhausted ive found out, a lightning storm rolled in, i just kept sleeping, had to pack up tent in middle of the night bc it slowly got flooded bc rain got into tent, had to park on a random overgrown country road (no GPS) to car-camp for the night bc no campsite was found, have had to constantly put up tent in complete darkness bc its very hard to get my sibling and me to a campsite when theres still daylight for some reason?? lol, began to worry for hypothermia when we camped near mountains bc it got too cold to tent camp, had to intensely cuddle for warmth w/friend in truck bed, while sib was inside the car and still couldnt get warm, and it was so cold even then that it kept waking us up until we left at like 4-5am bc it got light enough for us to see to drive away 💀

ANYWAY, now that ive gotten my obligatory “i touch grass” out of the way,

(and also i def plan to use these experiences as future fic scenes, so easter egg if u read this then my fics later lmao)

sleeping is literally the first issue u gotta deal w/in going constant camping w/these guys lmao

and u bet ur ass they all find it kinda funny that u need such specific sleeping stuff when ur nigh indestructible the rest of the time

but its honest to god not even that much, it just is for hylians

so they can just sleep on rocks, flat ground, tree roots, u name it these crazy elves can do it, esp since the Links r adventurers so im sure theyre better at it than normal hylians

they dont need a tent, they barely need sleeping bags, bc the cold hard ground is legit their home 💀

the only reason they have padding at all is bc theyre more sensitive to temperature than u, so theyre more bundled up on breezy nights/for morning dew chill time

(which u found to ur horror they just dont put anything down but like a sheet when its warm weather, mostly for keeping dirt off them)

meanwhile ur like?? get a tent??? we have Wild’s slate to store it we dont even have to carry it????

and bc theyre made for hylians, the tents just like a ceiling w/poles 💀

ur out here like, “bro this would keep u more warm if there were yknow, walls. and a floor.”

which u then have to force the combined skills of Legend, Wild and Four to help u make a real tent

Legend has absolutely taken to calling you Sleeping Beauty/Princey bc of this, and the fact that u have to layer like 2 sleeping bags to not feel rocks on ur back (bc they only need it for warmth not cushioning, its thinner than human made ones)

u also have to force Time + Wars to acknowledge that u guys needs to put the tent on flat ground, and cant just sprawl out over a bunch of tree roots goddamit-

when u first learn what the watch schedule is, it sounds like actual hell.

each shift is like 4 hours, and everyone is awake and ready to go at like 5 or 6 am (the 6am is for teh Links that “sleep in” 💀)

and thats putting them at going to sleep at like 11 or midnight, bc hylians need way less sleep than ur human ass,

which the poor said hylians also find out the hard way when they go to wake the single human man on their team up, and u just outright cuss them out, hit the nearest link, rain hell on them + seem like ur drunk to them?? then just go back to sleep???

and theyre all like “wtf just happened to our guide, he’s usually so nice??”

only to realize after u all have a sit down abt the sleeping differences issues, after what theyre calling “The Sleeping Guide Incident” 💀

hylians snap awake only a few minutes after being awake (like how in SS/Oot/Botw etc u can be a little sleepy but game mechanics let u get up pretty quick)

and u need more sleep, so they just adjust and know now u need whatever u can get tbh, so ur not allowed to go on night shifts,

along w/being allowed to ride on Epona + get piggy back sleep on a Link if they rlly need to move and u havent gotten all ur required sleep yet

(tho u do try and compensate by going to sleep earlier)

(they would never tell u but, they lowkey fight/rock paper scissors who gets to carry u in the morning, Wind is the ref lol)

also hylians can sleep like a rock thru most anything, along w/this adventure which easily keeps u tired so ur ready to knock out every night,

this is why its important for someone to take watch, bc i think unless they outright get hit by a monster/shaken by another hylian, most links dont get up when sleeping no matter what

which makes sense, if theyre going to sleep so little, they prob need as much uninterrupted sleep as possible,

but just bc they can sleep thru lynel stomping doesnt mean u can, which is another adjustement they make when they choose a place to sleep at night, making sure its not a loud spot or smth, and bc u now have to sleep earlier to keep up w/their early ass times,

when the Links are all chilling around camp, they make sure to keep pretty quiet so u can sleep well <3

alright thats all for sleeping for rn, i could keep going but i wanna get to weight issue a little bit even tho ive got less for it

i mentioned it in other posts that hylians are lighter than humans, but i mostly focused on it going one way if that makes sense? like now im taking it in the way of like Humans are heavier than hylians, if that makes more sense??

u cant ride horses, at least not for very long lmao

same goes for loftwings, if u can even get on for any amount of time, bc they presumably have hollow bones so theyd be even more sensitive to ur weight than horses

omg when it comes to puzzles, and theres like weights involved, u absolutely get used as an additional weight, both bad and good tbh

bc im familiar w/botw im using it as a base, but like how shrines need a metal box or two to put on buttons to weigh them down, but it gets tricky, or u dont have one right away, Wild just uses you 💀

like u need some exact amount of metal things for this one scale puzzle, and instead u just, sit on it to sink it all the way down so the Link on the other side can reach the platform LMAO

omg the amount of battles that could just be won bc u used ur body weight against a monster lol

THE SCENE OF U AND A HINOX SQUARING UP TO LIKE SUMO WRESTLE AND U WIN W/UR WEIGHT LMAOO

just run at a lynel, dodging arrows, and just like, successfully full-body tackle it bc it feels like it has the same weight as a large dog, like a husky or smth 💀

u act like a bomb when u throw urself off cliffs bc u dont get fall damage easy, so u can manage like a ten-story building drop u found out w/o a scratch, but u cause a crater around u bc of ur impact lmao

Wild/Wind/Rulie/Legend are all having the time of their lives having u cannonball into the ground next to monster camps bc ur just a human bomb atp

kno this was less weakness focused but heres one more rough weakness of it,

u all have to be VERY careful around bridges or thin strips of land, or like crossing tree branches, etc. w/you bc ur weight may make it not possible cross w/o ridiculously being this single human person bringing an entire bridge down 💀

think the only way u could fix this glaring issue is if u outright jumped across, which even tho ur basically superpowered bc ur so strong here so youd have to fuck up pretty bad to not make it,

poor boys get worried sick anyway and try to avoid bridges if they can, they only trust ones that are like stone built up from the ground to carry you

this also sucks when its like a rope bridge across like a huge gap or like a small valley or smth, bc not only do u not have a landing spot in the immediate area, but now u have to reroute until u can find a spot that lets u basically jump across the gap lmao

on one hand, the Chain r still anxious letting u go alone to sometimes find that different route, but also if anyone went w/u youd just have to piggyback them while doing that, and its not like theyd be that helpful besides moral support maybe lmao

but u dont mind that and none of them can stand being seperated from u w/o knowing at least one Link is w/u, so u usually go ahead and piggyback Wind or Four (one of the lightest) find a route and leap ur way to the other side lol

u also found out the hard way that ur weight affects hylian made buildings, bc they can be made out of not as dense/strong woods, like especially things like floors/beds/chairs/etc stuff that would be made to take hylian weight

the absolute insanity the first time u guys went to an inn, and u crushed both the steps leading into the inn, a barstool, a chair, and later that night ur bedframe just from gently laying on it 💀

the innkeeper realized and re-arranged so u guys were on first floor so u wouldnt have to go up steps, and was luckily very understanding abt u being a different weightier race (Time and you still tipped him rupees to help pay for damage 😭)

u had to literally go back outside to sleep bc u were worried if u slept on the floor it slowly break overnight LMAO

but Wind/Wild/Four/Rulie/Twi were all sweet enough to come w/you to sleep outside too lol (they were more nature inclined anyway, even tho u insisted they take advantage of the beds)

this was also absolutely hilarious for the others to wake up to in the morning, bc Time/Wars/Sky/Legend had already gone to bed,

so they just walk out the inn, all confused why the innkeeper just pointed outside when they asked where the others went, and they jsut open the front door (w/still broken steps bc u had to exit 💀)

to see u guys camped out on the lawn ASHFDFL

☆

😃. well that got out of hand, and its getting late for me so I may have 10x the amount of spelling/grammar mistakes more than usual, and it may have completely lost the plot in some points so-!

i hope that was smth for u to at least chew on anon, and sorry i overdid it jfccc

have a great rest of ur week anon, and tysm for the ask!! :D

comments/commentary in tags/feeback at all keep me alive, so pls leave one w/whatever u think!!

Peace out,

🌙

[the-s1lly-corner]

Can you write the TADC cast with a male ballet dancer reader? The reader experiences gender dysphoria 24/7 because they look very feminine and all that.

TADC cast x male!ballet dancer!reader w/ dysphoria

back to finishing up the current line up of requests!! reminder that im only doing requests that have been sent in prior to them being closed! any requests that are sent in while theyre still closed will not be taken and will be deleted so i can keep track of what was sent before closing; its nothing against any of yall and you guys can resend your stuff when they are reopened (i will make it very obvious when they are so dw!!) on a different note i could have sworn i did a cast request with a reader who does ballet; but i guess it was only for jax and i was confusing the group request for the ballora type! reader from this morning huh anyways!! i hope you enjoy this anon! quick warning that i know literally nothing about ballet so im

CAINE:

i think he enjoys a bunch of art forms; from music stuff to dance stuff to painting stuff, this man has taste. i think he would give you a bunch of outfits for you to wear and swap around that fits your aesthetic. bro would give you a whole walk in closet. as for dysphoria, i think he would do a similar thing with jax and reinforce how masculine you are to him, usually through affirmations, but he also shows it through just being there for you, bro is not only your number one fan but hes also your biggest supporter

POMNI:

i am yet again stumped on what to put in for pomni, since i think pomni is. bad at comforting people. very awkward, do not go to her for advice she will fumble so bad. now its not like shes not trying, but i think she would be all over the place trying to cover everything that could possibly help you; perhaps you two ultimately settle on cuddling one another... if this werent the digital world you two would probably put on a movie to take your mind off of it. as for her thoughts on ballet! i think she would find it neat, similar to jax she would have a form of respect for it!

RAGATHA:

she thinks it looks pretty, the dancing! she wouldnt know all the history or more in depth parts of it but she would watch you practice if you allowed her too... i think she would make you a binder, if your digital body causes any gender dysphoria for you.. though now that i type this i recall it being said that the characters clothing being stuck to their body.. so maybe she would just make you clothing thats more masculine as well? im not sure on this one!

JAX:

doing jax first since he already got a similar post and i can use it as a basis; ive said this in that post as well as the ballora one but i think he would at least appreciate the dedication and hard work that goes into ballet... to like, fully commit to something like that impresses him you know? as for dysphoria, i think he would make it a point to call you more masculine terms. hes gonna be trying his best to try to help you with your dysphoria in the way that best helps you. lays off on his teasing on days where its worse

KINGER:

i am yet again distraught that i do not have many ideas for kinger this time, which is sad because hes my favorite character and i can relate so hard to the dysphoria thing... thinks.. probably throws all of his knowledge at you. i mean hes been in the circus for a while, hes probably seen at least a few people come and go; and sure what are the odds that he has some experience helping someone fight through their dysphoria... a boy can dream! takes you to his pillow fort and lets you stay for as long as you want

probably sits and watches you dance on a makeshift pillow thrown. claps when you're done, probably throws roses... i think caine would throw roses too except he would throw way more simply because he can literally. manifest as many as he wants

ZOOBLE:

i dont usually like sharing my lgbt hcs about characters out of fear that it would be met with discourse but if i recall correctly zooble doesnt really have a gender/a set one (if im wrong correct me!) so they understand the dysphoria thing; i think they would offer to let you hang out in your room and vent your feelings out. probably tries to give advice on how to feel better in general if you want advice, but if you want comfort theyre gonna do your best to give it to you. i dont think zooble would have much of an opinion on ballet; neither negative or positive, simply knowing thats its an art form! supports you if it makes you happy, though!

GANGLE:

while not the same thing, i like to think gangle used to do ribbon dancing in the real world... because... ribbon girl. see look im so so creative

but also i think it looks pretty

so you guys can bond over your hobbies! you might have to pry gangle to open up and talk about her interest in it, assuming she picks it up again in the digital world! as for dysphoria, i think gangle would be like zooble in terms of lending you some support; offers to help distract you if you dont want to tackle the issue at that point in time. i dont know about you, but sometimes i just, dont want to deal with my own dysphoria, but perhaps thats just a me thing

[zabala0z]

Okay. So. Hi. I’m your host who is rethinking life??? Or just thinking a lot right now, my brain got so much information. I would’ve posted sooner but I needed a couple hours to get my bearings yall ⛹️‍♀️ anyways! The final 4 episodes of TMA s2!!!

I’m not gonna do my usual format but to start with: I knew Elias was a bastard. I knew it, I CALLED IT. I mean it was pretty obvious but I’m just happy I figured it out. Although I’m very destroyed over the fact Sasha is definitely dead. Like I heard Dekker in MAG 78 and even then I was still in denial until Leitner said “yeah no she’s dead”

In MAG 79, I’m mostly pissed at Michael. Like the moment it put Tim and Martin through its creepy ass doors, I was just like full wheezing out of shock. I wheezed a lot today. Michael does not seem to know shit about humans too since it was like “I…I think it’s called a sport”. Love Michael but also stop being so cryptic oh my god. Also Not Sasha was low key horrifying. Like props to Michael and Not!Sashas voice actors because man I have never felt my muscles seize up like I did when hearing them.

Not Sasha mentioned like being sent to the house of its enemy that had the biggest eyes you ever saw. I thought the enemy was the institute but later I found out…no. Oh yeah! Mag 80! What the hell!

Jurgen Leitner being like “yeah my assistants kinda were killed a lot” like okay go supporting boss. I did not predict it was LEITNER who was living in the tunnels. It’s nice he worked with Gertrude though.

Also, these entities. Again, I was vaguely aware of some since their name was thrown around but I didn’t really realize the extent. Jon mentioned Michael and Leitner refers to it as “The Distortion” and that’s its part of “The Spiral”. AND THATS WHERE FRACTALS COME FROM. God.

Also, when Leitner and Elias are talking, Leitner talks about “the Stranger” and Elias asks what they call it which is “The Unknowing”. The last episode, Not Sasha says that Jon will miss the Unknowing but he wouldn’t understand so I’m assuming the replacement things fall under The Stranger

One final thing I noticed was that he mentioned his assistants getting killed on that day of the attack and all the ways they got killed or I dunno attacked, corresponds with different themes from other statements

“Stabbed through the throat by something with too many teeth and weird limbs”- the replacement things (The Stranger)

“Pulled into a cavernous maw that opened beneath her”- I think this is related to The Butchers Window where Jared Hopworth would throw bones down that pit with teeth

“Gregory Todd ran into a door that shouldn’t have been there”- Michael. What are you doing 💀 (The Spiral)

“A great hand reached down through the roof” -I actually don’t know. Thought it was Freefall but misremembered it.

“Pulled into a great, pulsating pile of meat”- literally every episode with a meat theme. (EDIT 9/2/24: this is related to MAG 18 actually!)

“Doors with darkness and doors on fire”- so the cult I think is related to the darkness but with the fire, I know that Burned Out and that statement with Agnes could be related

So I’m guessing every way an assistant like got killed is one of those entities. I know The Vast is somehow related because Michael Crew mentioned that name before throwing himself out the window and then like changing. Guess he’s like a servant now or something?

Oh god that’s most of it. I’m wondering where Jon is now and I hope Tim and Martin don’t like fully believe he murdered a man. Also I swear to god, Elias, if I catch you. Like Leitner was not a super good guy but come on. I’m glad Not Sasha is gone but…my OG girl 😔😔😔

if you got this far in reading me descend down into my little obsession thank you 🫶🫶🫶 like all this is for fun but everyone I talked to in this fandom is so chill and doesn’t try to spoil which is nice. As someone who was in crazy fandoms, this is pretty calm for such a horrifying media. I’ll probably continue these posts for s3 but I’ll try to condense it I swear guys.

[cutegirlmayra]

Boom Sonamy, Lyric comes back trying to achieve immortality. He needs an exhange of life for a life so a live sacrifice but can't read the rest of the inscription. So he kidnaps Amy again to read the rest of the message otherwise he'll destroy the village and plans to sacrifice her. The gang come to save her and stop Lyric. You can add more to make it more dramatic if you want with a better ending than I can think of ^_^'

I do tend to always just add more, don’t I? XD I’m sorry for those who I’ve taken your idea and ran with my own thoughts on it, but I hope it’s been satisfactory nonetheless! Working a lot lately, so when I do have time to do the Tumblr Prompt Series (also posted on all my writing sites for viewing pleasure!) I usually do something fun but small. I’ll give it my best, Precious Anon!

Also, Lyric is a very… how do I put this… There’s not a whole hecka lot of information on him. I did some research to look back over the games he was in, and even then, it was pretty generic and bland, sorry Lyric fans!

However, sometimes, that’s actually good news. You know why? Shocking, I know! But it means the character is wide open for interpretation and expanding upon them. I won’t be doing that for this fic, necessarily, but I think characters with great potential are usually those that have little information but just enough to peak interest. It’s one of the reasons I felt Amy Rose was a character I could put more lore and backstory on, because although I did study her character, there wasn’t a whole lot on her. It made her a canvas that felt ‘half-full’, able to be influenced and expanded upon.

However, in recent times, Amy Rose and many other characters like her in different franchises (Not necessarily in personality or role, but just the same level of character-depth and lore, I guess?) have really been given love and more games are coming out with better writing quality than ever before! I’m so glad that so many ‘side characters’ are treated as main cast mates, and not just thrown into trope roles anymore.

That being said, you can’t escape the occasional ‘One-time’ appearances like Lyric being a ‘Pops up in maybe Two Games and never again’ villain. But it does leave room for us Fanfiction writers to make some interesting depth to further their small legacy! <3

That being said–TUMBLR PROMPT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED, SHUT DOWN ON INBOX, lolol you were waiting for that, weren’t ya? >:3c

Hugs and blowing kisses, everyone. I’m definitely taking more time to heal from burnout and also work on Fanfiction Edits (Which are coming along nicely, I’m now back to Instincts, for those who are a fan of that one.), Original Stories (Sorry, probably won’t post them tho :( But books are important! lol), and of course, Tumblr Prompt Series so yall know I’m not dead xD

The tumblr inbox for prompt requests will remain down probably for a few more years. I know that upsets a lot of you, but if they ever do open again, I will be blocking ‘Anon’ because I think some people are posting more than the actual limit of how many they can submit. Due to this, I’m overwhelmed with hundreds (not joking, by the way.) of requests that I really don’t want to do? So we’ll be taking time to go back to stories I’ve wanted to write and solo-writing for my fanfictions/other works. I’ve gotta set up stronger boundaries! Haha XD

That being said, please enjoy this Sonic Boom (Feels ancient now) Prompt!

Prompt:

“Ultimate power… Although sounding like sweet nectar to one’s ambitious desires, tends to lead to a faulty conclusion…” A snaky whiplash from his claw-tail sent a impulse reflex through Amy’s spine, causing her to flinch and her ears to withdraw back again.

She was so mad, tied up to a pillar inside an ancient tomb, having been ambushed while excavating what looked like a madman’s attempt at immortal life.

Roughly translated, a doctor related to Eggman, known as Ivo Robotnik had first discovered this tomb and kept it a secret. He researched and found a successful way to immortalize someone… but he failed to interpret the last section of the stone slab’s text…

A life for a life… to give Shadow The Hedgehog, his ultimate creation, immortality–to live and breathe forever in the purpose of curing the world of its vital mistakes and sins–he accidentally let his granddaughter, Maria Robotnik, die in the process…

As she read the inscription, Ivo’s account tells that her life was being drained from her… and eventually, was converted in some miraculous way into what was necessary to mechanically engineer this ancient tomb’s purpose: Infinitely Sustained Life.

Shadow, overwhelmed by the loss of his friend, turned on Ivo Robotnik, and sealed the tomb to never let the tragedy that had befallen here happen again… until now.

‘Opps.’ Amy thought to herself, annoyed by Lyric carrying on with his wicked monologue about being the last of the ancients, having envied and coveted this technology, but had lost before he could even begin to understand it. ‘I’ve been following the late Ivo Robotnik’s work in hopes of finding the ancient world… I didn’t think I’d stumble upon this buttless snake again…’ She sighed quietly, blinking her eyes as though counting subconsciously the seconds before she was to be daringly rescued by her friends.

Again…

‘Why was it always me?’ She grumbled in her thoughts before the second whipping crack of his tail colliding with the ground near her snapped her out of her thoughts again.

“You remain awfully quiet… that’s offssssseting.” He hissed to her side, which made her lean as far right as she could muster, trying to get away from his anciently stanky breath.

“Upsetting,” She appeared to be clarifying, “That I have to have my peaceful afternoon so rudely interrupted by the echoes of a delusional reptilian, but I mean, at least I’m complaining internally.” She smirked up to him, showing she wasn’t trying to help him, she was just making a snarky comeback.

He shook his head, his lips swerving in their rage as he lifted himself up, completely over her cocky and irritating behavior.

“You will read the slab for me!” He smashed down his robotic arm by her, and she had to turn her head away from the dust and flying debris of shattered rock taking off from the impact.

“Like I’d die for you!” She badmouthed back, “Sonic and my friends will be here any minute. Seems you’ve become very fond of our combined butt-whooping, Lyric! I can’t fathom any other reason you’d keep wishing it upon you, unless it truly makes you feel like you even have a butt to whoop.”

“Silence!” He roared up, having the whole of the tomb shake from his vibrating, strong sound before Amy just scoffed.

“Finally, we see snake-eye to hedgehog-eye now.” She leaned back on the pillar she was tied to, taking a nice breath out. “Ah~ Now, to await the inevitable victory-WUOO!” She was yoinked practically up, snapping her restraints around her wasit but her arms still behind her back.

Lyric had taken hold of her head, as she kicked the air and tried to hit him while he held her uncomfortably high.

She could probably be alright, but she couldn’t use her Enerbeam… Nor her Piko-Piko Hammer while her arms were still tied-up, although her legs free.

She could feel the squeezing of his robotic claws digging into her cranium, and for the first time that day, she actually showed the tire and wear of having struggled against him for so long.

Not only did she dig her way carefully as she could in here, trying to preserve the ancient relics to study them later, but she had to fight Lyric, and now…

“If you will not comply…” He pulled her face towards his own, using his tail to grab her legs and keep them tightly clamped together, making sure her struggle just became ten-times harder…

Her eyes were twitching under the pressurized hold the claws had on her head… Looking up as she couldn’t help but show the strain.

“Then you’ll remember an old friend, I’m sure…” He attached a new mind-controller on her, as he let her go and she fell to all fours,... then looked up to show she was fully under his power.

“Perfect~” He chimed, laughing manically, “Now, read it to me!” He slashed his tail against the wall, turning for her to get up and walk towards the slab.

She knelt and held out her two hands to it, reading the rock…

“At last! My robotic empire! To erase the weak and insipid existence of all living organisms…” He slithered and opened his arms to the murals around the tomb. “To eternally strive for perfect power… the influence of which only the vast superiority of machines can dictate! Eggman was a fool to try and rival me… You and your friends were mere insects to my reign! Biting and taunting me, getting in my way to distract me from the ultimate purpose of my recreation!” He twisted the wrist joint of his robotic arm and held up his claw-like hand, admiring it. “Soon, even I shall become fully mechanized! With immortality, I can improve my own being once more! No longer half-complete, a mutated cyborg with still my fleshy prison! But… I shall shed this weakling flesh to become truly–the immortal mechanized god of this new world!” He struck an all-powerful and imposing pose, but an explosion of rocks and rumbling of the tomb’s unstabilized structure shook him out of his gloating aside to himself once more.

“Wh-what? OFFPH!” A red, shiny shoe smushed with great force against his face, crushing it as Sonic sped into the fight, and Shadow rushed to Amy’s side.

“Snap out of it!” He could tell by her faint breathing that she was already losing her life force, the stream of which was moving through the air into the large center dome-like structure above the tomb.

“No… not again..!” Shadow cried out, seeing as Lyric was able to actually combat Sonic, who had tried to pin him down but was flung off of him.

Lyric laughed again with the added strength of immortality slowly being converted into him by the strange process of the powerful stream of light waving through the air, coming out of the ball, to then attach to him like a leash.

“Soon, Sonic, all your friends will contribute to is merely delaying the eventual takeover of this planet..!” Lyric, slithering towards Sonic as he kept backing up, felt his body powering up. “Every muscle in you will eventually wither and die… while mine shall stay immaculate… and whether you continue to prevent me from my destined course of fate or not, sooner or later… You will die.” He lunged into Sonic’s face, who looked horrified at what he was saying. “While I’ll still yet have endless time left in me… to conquer, maim, and entirely transform this pathetic mossy rock into yet another perfect rendition of what I shall become… Immortality pristine, everlasting, and most importantly…” He rose himself up into the air, his tail whipping around underneath him. “A robotic masterpiece..!”

“Amy..!!!” Shadow gripped at her mindcontrolling device on her head, but it was wedged on tightly this time, “Darn it, woman!” He looked to the slab, she was almost done..!

He closed his eyes, realizing what he must do.

“Forgive me… Maria.” He covered Amy’s mouth so she couldn’t speak. “I will have to belay my promise to you… and save this pathetic excuse for a world… if only to bring your perfect idealisms to light… perhaps… another day.”

He lowered his head and read the last of the inscription, which took his immortality and-

The beam redirected.

“WHAT?!” Lyric landed back on the ground, looking at his robotic arms before turning to finally notice Shadow as he held Amy, giving her back her life force…

“NOOO!!!” Lyric began to move quickly towards him, but Sonic thomped him yet again to the ground.

He folded his arms, standing triumphantly over him, “Looks like your brilliant plan at eternal robotization backfired yet again, Lyric! Now, you’re just softly singing the poetic justice of what happens to those who try and metallically make their own butts to be kicked!” He kicked Lyric as he moved forward with a humorous cry of pain from it.

“Shadow?” Sonic then raced to his side, looking at Amy in his arms and having her transferred to his own.

Shadow… slowly shook his head.

Sonic, worried now, looked down at Amy. “Amy?”

She didn’t move… the light breeze from their entrance now sending the wind to move her three bangs.

“... Amy?” There was a long… hard pause…

The air was still, even Lyric pushed up off the ground, holding his push-up position, and looked to see with a swishing tail if immortality could still be his afterall.

Then… her eyes blinked…

“Miss Rose?” The little blonde human girl was bending down to speak to her, as she got up, rubbing her head.

“Wha-... H-huh?” She looked around what seemed like a white space. “Am I… dead?” She looked at the girl, gasping, “Maria Robotnik!?”

The little girl shyly giggled, gently covering her mouth, “Oh, I’m sorry for laughing, this isn’t the time nor place for that.” She then curtsied and offered her her hand, “You’re not dead. I’m giving you my life’s essence… the same essence… that was used to give Shadow his immortal life.”

“W-What?!” Amy scooted away, kicking her feet out from the girl’s hand. “That’s ludicrous! I don’t want eternal life!” She exclaimed, “I… I want to grow old with my friends, and have countless adventures… a family and eventually… make global peace and end world hunger.” She looked down, “Set up an all-women government and prove that we can organize a better democracy and-”

Maria just giggled again, “Many. Big. Dreams.” She gave each word a single note and pause, not necessarily for dramatic flavor or effect, but to show how much they meant to her.

“Many times have I wished for a better world. Bigger and bigger have my heartfelt prayers become. Dreams of an absolution… from misery and fire, to passion and compassion reigning evermore on the earth.” She gently offered her hand to Amy again.

“If you can’t accept an immortal life… then accept entirely your own life. All it’s happenings. Even the mistakes…”

Amy looked at her hand… realizing that without Maria, she would likely never be able to return to life at all…

“Is this… really the only way?” Amy held up her hand, but hesitated, looking sweetly at the girl. “I’m sure… W-We could ask Tails… We could find a way to bring you back!” She formed a fist, “We can reverse what this place has done to you!”

Maria just smiled like the angel she was. “... This is the only way…” She quietly stated, “Come, be at peace. Your friends are waiting for you.”

Amy dropped her head, her hand loosening from a determined fist to an open hand again, and looked at it. “... Dying sure does suck… doesn’t it?” She looked with teary eyes up to the kind, optimistic girl. Her heart wanted to help her, but she was sacrificing herself–yet again–for the greater good.

“Thank you… Maria.” She took her hand… as a white light engulfed them.

“No, Amy Rose. Thank you… for never giving up on the world we live in. In it’s present, so many seek to extend their lives, in fear that they will live to short or not greatly enough. The real life we should long for, is the one we’re currently on right now. With so much possibility, with so many endless adventures to take… When one begins to stop fearing the future, then can we really live and create it at last… the way-...”

“We want to.” Amy finished, as Maria’s voice faded and she opened her actual eyes.

Sonic and Shadow were over her… Shadow having lost his Immortality, but Amy not gaining it.

Instead, Amy had died and Maria used her life force to give it back to her.

Both mortal now, Amy looked from Sonic to Shadow, and held up a hand to grace his cheek, “She’s lovely.” She smiled kindly to him. “Maria was such a beautiful young girl.”

Shadow couldn’t hold it back, and cried.

He ducked his head as her hand came gently off and moved to Sonic’s chest, patting it lightly, “Boy, does that heart never cease to slow down?” She teased, as Sonic sighed in relief.

“Happy to have you back… Ames.” He gave her a fond expression, and she leaned her head into his embracing arms, resting in that soft gaze of sweetness he gave her.

“ARRGGGAHHH!!” Lyric arched his back, crying out in further outrage. “HOW!? You fools! I will return, I will bring a bigger robotic army, I’ll have you ruing the day you-!”

There’s was a large ‘KONK!’ sound as mechanical birds flew around his head while he circled a little in the air and then fell forward, revealing Tails with a large wrench held like a thrown baseball bat, Knuckles with his fists positioned as though they had just hit something as well, and Sticks with her boomerang and one hand on the ground to show she had just caught it.

“Man, to think. We’ve stumbled upon a literal ANCIENT secret governmental conspiracy! Whoo! Glad I’m only living in a time where we have to deal with our modern governmental conspiracies!” She spouted out, looking relieved for some odd reason.

“Oh, hey Bestie!” She waved enthusiastically to Amy, who lightly waved back at her, giggling as she came over.

Completely unaware…

Of what just happened here moments before.

“What were you up to?” She asked, innocently.

Shadow covered his face from the view of the others, as Sonic looked to him and then to Amy, and helped her to lean up more so she could be sitting comfortably as she twisted her torso to address the others, and mostly answer Sticks’s question.

“Changing fate.” She replied, smiling from ear to ear. “And hopefully…”

“Making all of ours a good one.”

[luvvnai]

sugar

what happens when you meet a girl that matt doesn't like

being a black girl in la isn't easy especially when you don't fit into the 'norms' until one night Tara had invited you and nick a club called karma your wherein a short black dress with matching black chunky boots " hey Tara how you been" you say hugging her "OMG HII GUYS"

i laughed at tars drunk words tara and nick are now talking you try to engage in the conversation but there isnt much you can add not being a influencer all you do is post music not doing many clabs and friendships never really worked out for you

"imma go get som to drink ill be back" you walk to the bar and order a vod soda hoping the liquor will help you socialize waiting for the drink you notice another black girl with long godness braids siting by herself "your braids are so cute" i said smiling she turned around "thank you i did them myself"

as she turned you got to see what she looked like (can we just do lotto if she wasn't famous) we hit it off very well her name is sugar 20 and is from Chicago so she understands how it feels as we were talking for about an hour matt sent me a text that he was here to pick up me and nick

"girl im sorry but i got to go my nigga is here " i said kinda sad that i had to leave her "its ok can i get your number " you gave her your number walking away to go to matts car with a little more happiness in your step "matt guess what" you asked him as you put on your seat belt giving him a kiss as well

"what's up" he said rising an eyebrow as nick got into the car and he drove off" i met this girl her name is sugar she is 20 and from Chicago" you were smiling a little harder than usual "matt was happy that you were finding friends he didn't mind sharing his friends with you but could tell that you didn't click with them the way he had hoped for

" that's nice baby" he smiled "no no there's more she's black also finally someone i can relate to" your unusual happiness clicked to him now understanding why you were so happy "wait but what about Quin i thought you could relate to her" you loved quin but she was from la and was and a influencer so there were still things she didn't understand

"matt just because she black doesn't mean she fully understand me" you smiled "oh no i understand" matt kinda felt bad but "your right we do get along and she gets me sometimes but this girl is different she isnt in the spot light and i like that everyone is so worried about how they will look but she don't care" as the car ride went on the more you talked exited to find a la friend

as the week went on you and sugar became amazing friends always out or otp she was very outgoing loved partying shopping and all the above today she had asked if you wanted to go shopping and duhh now you geting ready puting low waisted baggy jeans a black crop top and convers you walk out the bathroom after finishing your makeup

matt siting on his gaming chair turned to you "hi sweetheart where you " you looked at yourself in the full body mirror matt had in his room putting your lip combo and gloss on "me and sugar are going to the mall" you said turning to him "how do i look" he rolled his chair Infront of you rubbing the back of your thighs

"baby you sure you're not hanging out with her too much i mean you've only known her for about a week and you've hung out with her almost every day snice" rolling your eyes at him matt "it's better than rotting in your room every day" he let out a sigh i know i just don't want you getting hurt" my phone goes off and it's a text from sugar Shes here baby i got to go love you say kissing him and walking out

once yall got to the mall and started shopping for tops flipping though the racks the topic of matt came up wait so what's his name you smiled at the thought of matt "his names matt and he's 21 an-" "ouhh you got a older man" she said poking your stomach "i bet he takes real good care of you" you smile "yeah i guess"

we go to check out "oh shit" you said as realize you left your wallet at home what's wrong sugar asked "i left my wallet at home" you responded slapping your forehead" its ok i got you" she said going to pay but you pulled her arm back "no its fine i have matts card on apple pay but thank you" you used matts apple pay as you both walked out

you went to text matt that you had used his card but when you opened the text "wait you have his apple pay" she said drawing you attend away from the text on yeah," it's for times like this" as i shut my phone off we walked into the next store marc Jacobs you saw these chunky boots like the ones Tara had omg these are so cute you said to sugar as she turned around ahh yes you have to get them

you looked down at the price tag 600 dollars you said eyes almost popping out your head you go to put them back down no no sugar grabbed your arm just get them why you acting like you got no money" you sigh looking down at the boots then back at the tag "but i don't wanna put it on matts card" "girl hes rich to hes not gon care" you contemplating it "well he did say i could use it for whatever" sugar smiles at you as you walk wall leave marc jacobs boots in bag

as you two keep shopping you keep feeling like she wants you spend money on matts card like when you two had went into winsor because you felt like you didn't have any dresses for when you would go out you tried on a black long dress with glitter and a long slit but couldn't pick between the black and red "y/n just get both they look cute" you look at the tag "sugar they 60 each no way" sugar sighed with a kinda annoyed tone "just get them matt said it's for when every he won't be mad" after more convincing you left the store with both dresses

and the same thing happened at true religion, but you didn't want to lose sugar you pushed the thought away maybe she just wants you to spoil yourself you got home, and she dropped you off when you waked into matts room you put the bag down thinking you had sent the text earlier you didn't bring up his card what you get he asked you showed him some of the stuff putting it away

30 minutes later you were on matts bed on your phone when he walked in "y/n" " mhmm" you said not looking up from your phone "did you use my card today" your eyes shot up forgetting about that "oh yeah i texted you" you respond nervus at his response "no you didnt you spent almost 2,000" youu shot up from his bed not relizing thats how much you spent" what! matt no way"

he walks over showing the bank statements "oh my goodness i didn't even realize sugar was just telling me you wouldn't mind and i guess i just got carried away ill cash app you back righ-" matt sighed "no its fine i gave you the apple pay for a reason" as you went to apologies again you got a facetime from sugar you answered it "hey bitch what you doing" i lifted the camera so she could see i was talking to matt who's that she said mugging the camera realizing you never showed her what matt looked like now he is mugged her as well

"that's matt" you said kinda awkward "oh that what he looks like" sugar said "matt now side eyeing us i was just expecting something else..." before i could answer matt answered "so what where you expecting" his mattatude coming out now holding the phone sugar smirking "i don't know just when shake yo dreads by sexy red came on in the club y/n sang pretty hard and if i Rember correctly she said she love her dark skin dread heads"

the same smirk that she held when she told me to use matts card but before you can think about it to hard matt hangs up tossing it on the bed and walks out

oh my days thats to much for me to type im done ill probably make a part two tell me what you wanna see in part two if yall even want one idk i feel like this was unnecessarily long but i literally came up with this idea and did it with in like 3 hours so im tired and also divider from @bernardsbendystraws

[saltminerising]

I’m usually kind of annoyed when a new breed drops and ppl are making those positivity threads about them in response to criticism but in this case I’m really supporting the positivity threads because they’re being made in response to fatphobia. every ‘criticism’ I’ve seen has just been people complaining about the dragon being fat. which isn’t criticism it’s just you being weird and shitty.. with the other recent ancient breeds there’s been legitimate things to criticize (auraboa lore, dusthides looking halfbaked) but in this case it just bothers me a lot to see people act like they’re just ‘criticizing a design’ or ‘criticizing lineart’ and they’re definitely just complaining about everlux being fat. someday yall are going to realize how obvious you are lol..

i like the dragon even more knowing it pisses off people in light.

Dear everyone who are crying about the new breed and telling others who enjoy it that their enjoyment of the breed offends you: It's time to leave your computer and go touch grass

As soon as the disappointment thread unlocked I think some people must have deleted their posts lol. Feeling shame after posting something gross? Good, you deserve it

flight rising users will see something that looks like a maggot and write 1500 words about why you're literally evil if you dislike it

salt to all the "light flight purists" like omgggg. this doesn't match your perfect flight aesthetic that you made up? dont buy any then. easy. how do you think plague and nature feel sharing a modern. and you have two!! 2 moderns!!! please stop complaining, you have three lovely dragon designs.

after witnessing this whole clown show, i think my main takeaway is that you have to be SUCH a strong person to be an official FR artist

I'm well hydrated from lapping up the tears of the snobby Skydancer f pose silk lovers sobbing about the Everluxes being fat bugs. Keep on crying you pitiful weaklings.

"deviated so far from other dragons of the flight" genuinely what other flight besides light's moderns has dragons that are similar to each other. Like just ice maybe and even then the vibes of the two different fluffy dragons are very different. Skydancers and spirals? Wildclaws and auraboas? Coatls and banescale? Why now is it suddenly unacceptable to have a different looking dragon 🤨 If it was yet another vaguely 'majestic' dragon with whiskers and a mane that would be incredibly boring sorry. And I love imps and pcs. Would not have wanted a third one however

I hope every breed ever released in the future is fat, just to spite the people pissed off that they didn't get Lanky Snake number 873.

[thisdreamplace]

hi is anon who writes too much haha! Hru💗

I want to share some experiences I’ve been having and a question

just really letting go and being.

life is really Beautiful when you just be

one extreme subconscious belief i guess I had was “everytime when good things happen. Bad things always do” I used to really spiral over this. I was so afraid. But then I asked myself “ can I let go of this and know all is okay? that god is on my side, that everything will be ok”. I was crying one night fearing “what if everything is terrible and will never be ok “ I allowed it but the something just came into awareness “what if I can trust god. what if I can trust and let go” and I did, I still felt like a crying mess and so very saddened. but I had a sense of trust , my heart was filled with love.

(I’ll speak in 3rd person but ) anon also had a huge fear or want. to being mysterious like… not telling anyone how they felt lalala or even feeling embarrassed about telling how they felt about something like they where right or wrong or how they inferior if they where nice lala. When I realized that was also conditioned, not my burden to bear I cried in relief, knowing just this was never something I needed to let go off. I’m ok haha

I feel like also one thing is we conditioned our self to others behaviors and what we determine as us (the false self) like example I realized my specific negative thoughts where a pattern. I asked myself “ do I really think this way? or am I conditioned too?” “Is this really me?”, my fears and thoughts and wants and needs are all just what I’ve always thought I needed to have, haha living a life without any of those is sure scary but… not a bad! More like a new unknown understanding! Like knowing there’s no meaning behind it , like the thought itself being a conditioned thing, idk it feels just nice , I can leave it be , beacuse it doesn’t mean anything.

The key is no longer allowing it to have meaning for you. - thisdreamplace

now I live my days having fun :) or even just being or enjoying all knowing I’m not bound to anything. it’s nice even when the hard times happen , still need to work on that tho 🐭

my question is.

when circumstances or even a overwhelming situation , or even badly reacting to something and you regret it. How do you deal with it, I always surrender to god and know everything will be ok. But I’m wondering if you have advice haha, like what are some things you do to regulate and help in times like this. sometimes moving on (letting go ) of everything feels a bit terrifying , even how do you stop seeing things as a bad moment? sometimes the heart feels so full and the head feels so firey

hope to talk soon again I miss your posts dream 🌌thank you for everything once again

-anon who talks too much 🍩

hewwo <3 i hope youre doing well!! sorry its taken me some time to finally write back !!

i love all of this ! feeling everything out, while simultaneously allowing yourself to feel that possibilities can be different. i love reading messages from yall, because they always spark deeper understandings in myself as well. it's a really beautiful cycle between us

hmm i think to answer your question, i usually don't try to make something seem other than how i feel it is. instead i accept it all in that moment, or at least try to anyway. it's not always easy of course. but through acceptance you have a lot less resistance toward an issue, and like that it can easily be transformed. so its not always about making ourselves drop it, sure its nice if we can. but if not, its okay to be there in that moment too. allowing it to be what it is, and moving on when the emotions arent as heavy.

anyway <3 thanks so much for reaching out again !! :') and awwwe thank you. i havent had much inspo lately, life has been really busy but ofc, whenever inspiration strikes, you'll see another post by me !!

[mochinomnoms]

i’m a sucker for these kind of ask games so i hope you don’t mind a bunch of emojis: 🙌 & 🦉& 🌠 & 🍎 & 🛌 & 👩‍🎓

Waaah so many! I see you so often in my inbox and in my notifs Im happy to answer all of these for you!

(ask game)

🙌What's a line or paragraph of yours that you're proud of?

I had to dig through some of my wips and stuff but I think my favorite are tied between two different lines I've written for RTU (aceyuu madoka au fic)

You think if he could, he'd drag God down from the spigot in which they drink their divinity and present it to you in a golden chalice. If just to do what he wants. He acts like he already has.

And

It’s light again, in the morning as the sun filters through the broken window, you poking him awake to get to class.

Ace has never been one to get sentimental, the idea of love is frightening, to be frank. But looking at you again, light curtaining your features, he was reminded why he did what he did.

The first is from the synopsis and the second from the original request I got the idea from! I'm very excited to officially start posting it as i have it's chapters just about mapped out!

🦉Is there another author that helped inspire you to write?

I don't think intentionally? I'm sure that I've picked up a bit of other's writing styles and got inspired here and there from multiple people, the only one I can think of I don't want to bother and tag them lol but I've reblogged their posts every so often. I know of one case with a-twistedheartslonging that I really want to write about the TWST museum post they had a while back because I know so much about museums yall

🌠What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3?

Not sure actually, but I think for my own fics its usually humor or sexual content but I only post my long fics or requests on ao3 so I'm not sure if that's the best representation of my writing lol

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

I researched a lot about animal mating and stuff for that one headcanon post I did about non-humans in TWST and my search history was wild for a while.

🛌 What's a trope you haven't written, but want to?

I kinda want to write a soulmate au or something of that nature I'm such a sucker for those stories! It's the yearning that gets me, the yearning!!!

👩‍🎓 Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?

I have 3 degrees (i made questionable decisions during my undergrad which is why i have multiple already lol) and published a paper, but nothing in the creative writing field since I'm in social sciences. I like writing but not sure if I could invest into it as a career lol

[alitgblog]

volume V thoughts bc once again fusebox has got me intrigued

first of all omg wtf

I usually end up reading a few spoilers before I play bc I'm bored at work but don't wanna play the volume until I get back but I had such a busy day at work I didn't do that and wow ok I gotta avoid spoilers more often I was shook

so excess baggage was okay. like yeah makes sense we want the couples to be tense again before voting the couple superlatives thing, but also such a throwaway. (and also I talked about this in my post about last volume, but we have so many challenges in a row!! why)

since my MC did initially flirt with Oakley a lot more than Jin, I do think it's funny Oakley talks about how cool MC's secret is (like it's annoying fs but also something I've seen happen on love island to create small drama but then ultimately it's just talk so it's nice to have that happen here).

Also i was worried Oakley was gonna turn on us or flirt with us and abandon Emel, so I'm very glad he was just asking for advice. (I'm a big Oakley and Emel fan, what can I say?) I'd be okay if that led into a different storyline where you could pursue Oakley later, but with how fusebox has been making the seasons lately, once you pick you've made your choice and I do miss in for example s2 where even if you don't pick Lurik when they first become available you have a chance the next recoupling and it feels like it changes your route.

Jack is still mad at MC??

Couples game was fun. I wish fusebox formatted it so you discuss with your partner and then make a choice before everyone revealed their answers instead of people talking and explaining before the player picks their answer. Like we know the characters already, just let me pick and we can see who agrees.

Oakley's evening wear outfit 😍 best dressed boy fs

I of course could never bear to see Oakley and Emel go, but I surprisingly actually missed Sophie and Jack as soon as they left but like in a me missing Allegra and Miles/Jasper when they left. Like yeah they were irritating but they brought drama and I understand where Allegra/Sophie is coming from (and I support women's wrongs lol)

Jin going through his main character of S6 arc??? No but fr I can't imagine why the public would vote him out so he's either hiding something that's gonna come out when he gets back or he was voted most popular and is gonna come back soon. I hope it's not casa because (1) that already happened in s6 and (2) I want the chance to flirt around with new characters in casa lol. I've seen a few theories around and I have no idea which is true but if I could throw in another idea which is post casa, MC is finally with a bombshell, Claudia/Theo, or a casa boy and things seem good but Jin and Luna show up together as returning islanders and MC has to choose between Jin and her current LI.

It's so interesting for drama, like ik I'm here for it. But a lot of people like loyal routes so I hope yall are doing okay

I was like half hoping we could walk out with him even though of course fusebox isn't giving us that option but like I wish he said something like hey you just got here, enjoy your time at the Villa and I'll wait out there for you no matter what happens. just to explain why MC wouldn't leave. that being said, their goodbye was so sweet.

One thing that's different in the game than the show is the number of islanders present at once, which makes sense its hard to keep track of all of them (though they've done it before in s2), and it just is weird bc now the people in the Villa are MC (single), Claudia and Theo (who don't like each other), and Emel and Oakley (only one couple).

despite my complaint about the challenge thing this is great pacing/timing for a new islander. it's just a shame the screwed over Tyler coming in so soon after MC. I can't remember if I already wrote this in my last post but I almost wish he came in with MC and got a better chance.

[juhbebbie]

Okayyyyy so City of the Dead thoughts for anyone who cares

Was I disappointed? My expectations weren't super high so I guess not, but the super overdramatic self pitying narration threw me off quite a bit. Like okay man chill out a bit. Kind of expected to not see Layla until the end so I guess there I was disappointed but not surprised. Fingers crossed she will be a central character from here on out and not a one and done thing in the series.

Okay elephant in the room time. I know a lot of people have been saying they REALLY did not like it and I really cannot blame them, but also I'm trying to stay hopeful because it just the first issue. I'm hesitant to get pissed off over the total lack of Jake and Steven just yet, when in Mackay's series neither made an appearance until like a year into the run. Yes this series isn't going to be nearly as long, but still. That being said, no I definitely don't expect Moon Knight to really be shown as a system, but I'm gonna give Prepose a couple more issues to prove me wrong (the bar is on the floor). Mainly just because I feel like it would be hypocritical of me to denounce Prepose for not including them and then praise Mackay when it took him 12 issues to really acknowledge that they are a system. I'm going to give Prepose a chance since he wrote a pretty good Black, White, and Blood story that did have them shown as a system in a pretty cool way imo.

All this to say that I'm not trying to undermine anyone else's concerns, this is just my own opinion and trust me, based on what little interviews I've read I fully expect Jake and Steven to be completely ignored and if (and when) that happens I will be right there with the rest of yall lol. I will say that it's already very clear that the set up so far was not written with the intention of having a place for Steven or Jake, which is very disappointing.

Okay positive things! I enjoyed seeing Dr Badr a lot and i didn't have much of an issue with how he and Marc's relationship was portrayed. Yes in the main run they're closer now, but they are still very much at odds but willing to work together towards a common goal, which is exactly what we see here in this issue.

I also liked where the thing with the kid is going. The detail of him being kicked out after his brother's death definitely makes me think he's going to be a reflection of Marc, which would be a cool parallel to have.

And the art for the most part was really gorgeous! I don't know what the hell was going on with Layla there at the end (otherwise great male artists not knowing how to draw women), but other than that I REALLY loved how the actual city looked.

And the Egyptian mythology was actually a lot more accurate than it usually is, which, as someone who has always been a total nerd about that stuff, actually made me really happy. There are several specific things I wanted to point out but this post is long enough as is.

Also. "I don't care if I burn" that was badass as shit come on. One of the (admittedly several!) moments of overdramatic writing that came off very well kind of like how it does in the Mackay run (don't wanna compare this too much to the Mackay run though because I understand it's obviously going to be different and that's fine)

But yeah. The overall feel and tone was very... off. I was on board with the general plot and Marc's motivations but everything around the basic plot structure just seemed like Prepose was trying to do a weird Huston run thing and it wasn't working (I don't think it worked in the Huston run either but I digress).

I've seen people saying that they didn't like how Marc was an enthusiastic follower of Khonshu, but that wasn't really the vibe I got at all? If anything it was pretty clear how much he hated everything he was doing. Which also kinda felt off. Having him say that everything was "punishment" over and over just kind of felt like I was getting hit on the head with a theme that didn't even make sense for the character, at least not at this point. Don't get me wrong, self punishment is absolutely a big part of Marc Spector's character, but there is an important distinction between doing things to right your past wrongs and doing them because you feel like you deserve it. And it seemed like Prepose understood that at first, but then later into the issue I was like Marc PLEASE shut the fuck up about punishment lol.

People more knowledgeable than myself have said things about how this looks from the standpoint that this is also a Jewish character, but all I'm going to say as a general statement for all of Moon Knight's runs is that I wish they would let him be explicitly Jewish more often. It's mentioned in Mackay's run the clash between Marc's service to Khonshu and his Judaism, but I think that that is such an interesting part of his character that needs to be discussed WAY more!

Anyway, to make a long story short, definitely not the strongest first issue, but it absolutely had some great moments and I'm going to go forward with my expectations still pretty low, but willing to give it a shot for Layla's sake. But the fact that a run featuring Layla is already not turning out to be very good is a little bit heartbreaking for me I'm not gonna lie lol. I was going to go and buy myself a copy of this issue, but after actually reading it I didn't really want it anymore. So 😬 fingers crossed for the next issue I guess?

[skellish]

Alright, so I don't usually do stuff like this, but today is a very special day to me: My 1 year mark of HRT! So I figured I would write a little and show my progress, to have a record for myself, but also because one of the most helpful things in my journey was seeing posts like these, showing me that things actually can change, and giving me hope for the future. So I wanted to maybe do that as well for anyone else struggling with their gender/identity like I was.

So, I wasn't the type that always knew who i was. I was a very awkward "boy", never quite felt right in my skin, but never considered that that wasn't normal. I spent my whole life shifting into and out of different identities and presentations, always doubting myself about who i wanted to be and who I was supposed to be. But about a year ago today (October ish 2022) my "egg" finally busted open. It was honestly pretty painful, having my whole life be flipped all around in somewhat of an instant, but also so relieving. I finally found the issue! I could fix my problem! That didn't stop me from still doubting myself, panicking about my future, wrangling internalized transphobia for the next few months, but something FINALLY actually felt right.

So, I went a little faster than most people should honestly. I immediately sought out some kind of gender clinic or what have you, to pursue hormone replacement therapy. (Ended up with planned parenthood to begin with. Wonderful people.) This is, of course, not necessary to be trans, but I reasoned in my head that this would be the easiest way to tell if I was wrong or not. I highly recommend you do not rush these things like I did, and that this was just my experience, but I digress. I figured If I was wrong, I would live with whatever consequences there were, but with the knowledge of who I am. If I was right however, then like. Hell yeah lol. It was scary for sure, and most of my loved ones thought I was rushing and not thinking clearly (fair points tbh) but I was right, and here I am!

This was me one year ago today

And this is me just a few days ago

I have gained weight, life is still very difficult, and it wasn't a miracle solution, but I can now at least say I know who I am. I'm beginning to like what I see in the mirror, be shaped in a way that is congruent with my soul, and be seen the way I want to be seen.

I don't know if these words will be seen by anyone, but if even just one person sees this and is helped like I was, then I've done my job here. See yall same time next year!