#i know this is nowhere near canon

[morgana-ren]

Astarions version of date night is breaking and entering into some nobles palace, stealing everything, and drawing mustaches on all the expensive portraits. And you know what, I’m here for it.

Not even for the money. Not even to prove a point. Not for any of that.

It's solely for the challenge and the thrill. He's finally able to live his life the way he chooses with the person he chooses, and I'm sure he fully intends to cause mischief simply because he has the freedom to do so. Finally, he's not bound by law or heritage or some absurd career that dictates his behavior.

Why go back to the prim and proper when he can live on the fringe and make his own rules? No guidelines, no bosses, no leash. For once, he's truly free.

He's a rascal at heart, and I think being a rascal is better suited to a petty thief and rogue than someone playing at prestige by trying to be a Magister.

After everything they've seen, maybe there is an inkling of bitterness towards the upper class. Seeing their arrogance, their indifference, their sanctimonious bullshit— okay, maybe there's a little wanting to lash out at them and cause a fuss. Just a little bit of wanton destruction. Just a tad, you know? Plus, it's just good, clean, honest fun.

Breaking into those stuffy nobles houses, making off with their trinkets and boasted treasures, laughing and vandalizing all the while, leaving them a lovely mess to come home to. Just for funsies!

Sure, on some level, he's a hypocrite. But whatever. He saved the city. He can have a bit of fun with the cowards who run it.

Really stick it to those bastards, you know?

[roseworth]

Dick fans also exempt him from a lot of things...Like fans will disregard his whole cop-era because he would never do that (valid) but then turn around and use Battle for the Cowl (a universally known badly written comic for everyone involved) to shit on Jason. Or they'll act like Jason and Tim and other bats are the only ones capable of mischaracterizing characters they are in proximity to despite Dick also having that effect (Babs). Or pretend that Dick has never been centered at the expense of others (Donna and Roy with fans and again, Babs in canon, and Wally in both fanon and canon) yet vocally and constantly talk about how Roy and Kori's characters have been ruined because of RHATO (valid again but it's about the hypocrisy!)

HARD agree about mischaracterizing other characters to center dick. i think thats part of him being treated like an underappreciated side character, that many of his fans are convinced that He is the one that gets mischaracterized for the sake of people like bruce, which he does sometimes! but that doesnt exempt him from the fact that he is just as bad at the other bats when it comes to everyone else being written out of character to center dick

a lot of that comes from nightwing stories so i cant really complain since obv hes going to be centered since hes the main character, but theres also a ton of titans stories where dick is The Leader so he also has to be The Best and suddenly everyone else on the titans doesnt know how to do anything just so dick can be the one to bring them together. and even babs cant be too competent in big events like absolute power or dark crisis because dick needs to take the lead even though it would make so much more sense for her to be in charge. and speaking of babs!!!! even in birds of prey she is always calling him or hes showing up or Something is always about dick. and obviously the problem there is misogyny and im not going to blame dick for that. but its just the fact that his fans act like hes never been the one to be centered over other characters when thats clearly not true because! look at babs!!!

honestly fanon-wise i think dick is the worst culprit of non-bat characters being mischaracterized. jason gets (rightfully) thrown under the bus because of the drastic and irreparable roy mischaracterization, but in fanon hes kind of jason's only victim. but fanon dick has barbara and donna and kory and wally and roy and a lot of the other titans and even slade and sometimes superman. but a lot fewer people talk about that because many dick fans dont seem to care that other characters get shafted for him. and thats all ill say

[south-sea]

i think a lot of people don’t always realize the difference between “this is how i interpret canon” and “this is how i want to write it because that’s what’s fun to me”. a lot of times the latter is all headcanons or AUs are, not an indication of what the writer thinks “is” or “should be” canon

more power to those who are super tuned into actual canon and know these details like the back of their hand, but sometimes people just wanna use a series as a sandbox, not a ruleset. genuinely nothing but respect for people who ARE that knowledgeable, but i and a lot of other people are just here to have fun with characters we enjoy—and want to put them in more accessible settings

[livsspecialinterests]

Canon

YES EXACTLY THANK YOU

Charles gets to know Beej a little better and then realises he's essentially just a fucking Weird Dude with Issues and my god if Charles isn't himself a closet Weird Dude who married and had a child with a strange lady and then upon losing her almost immediately fell for another, different, strange lady

I'm not saying Beej is exactly Charles' type but he isn't exactly far off....

plus Beej and Delia have a small tiny moment just before creepy old guy where Beej completely outs Delia as a bit of a freak in the bedroom I mean COME ON I'm not telling anyone they have to ship it but it's a viable ship goddamnit!!

(also my dude im so sorry to have gone off in the tags to this post it's not at all aimed at you i am *delighted* with this ask and im going to save the image of Charles smiling at Beej because it makes me so happy ive just got some feelings about how side-eyed i sometimes feel writing this ship)

[scn-thedog]

i'm literally passing down now like forr eal i'm sos sleep y but . let me tell you. i think about this specific vibe of tvtwist so often. they're not at each other's throats but they're like .. still suepr toxic just casually. like tv goes to whine about lock being gone because he is working to twisty (she has no friends totalk to) and he's like "if you don't shut up i might actually kill you" .like i actually think so much about them just hanging out AND IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO CANON THEY NEVER HANG OUT. if they actually did twisty would lose all interest for tv (she is such a massive loser it'll give them second hand embarassment) like oj my god she makes him look like less of a weirdo freak. thats it

[dennisboobs]

most annoying thing about being me is that i cannot engage with like. any fanon shit about dennis because i'm constantly on some advanced derangement and the stuff i thought two years ago when i was first getting comfy in the fandom is still the way everyone else looks at dennis but i'm like. yes but its Worse than this. you're like a quarter of the way there. this isn't the interesting bit, this is a symptom of it, keep going.

[lovekenney]

How I feeling knowing the image of a house (trailer actually) that I get when reading fics is not even close to what it looks in the canon.

[lucabyte]

I 100% agree with your tags on that post, the best shipping gets fucking WEIRD with it.

i like fluff as much as the next guy but what good is a ship if it doesnt also have the range to make you go ?????????????????????

like "oh so you think these characters are dating?" not necessarily. something is happening though.

which is why i dont usually call myself a shipper in any capacity because i rarely get invested in a relationship in an "i want that to happen/im going to look at fancontent for this" way. i just kind of diagnose things like a malpracticing doctor. then sit back and speculate.

[goldiipond]

have i posted this don autism moment here yet. hes stimming <3

[korkietism]

Some lesbian thoughts of mine. Let’s have more butches. Let’s have more weird lesbians. Please.

[queensectonia]

i’ll write a proper analysis about it one of these days but even after five years i am still kind of gobsmacked by just how much about hyness as a character is downright in bad taste, insensitive, or straight-up cruel stereotype. he genuinely mystifies me because like, the basic concept for this character is one that fits in seamlessly with the tone of the series overall: dark matter cultist who was ostracised for these beliefs and is now going on a roaring rampage of revenge about it. this is a pretty cut-and-dry parallel to the original “motivations” of dark matter (inasmuch as shimomura ever gave them any) - “i don’t have friends, so no-one can have friends”.

but the execution, holy shit. it’s bad. it’s really bad. it’s bad from so many angles - cultural, religious, health. we’ve had characters in the series before who were “poorly written”, which usually just means “meh, there isn’t really that much to work with for this character”, and the series is no stranger to edginess - see dark matter, which inspired hyness as a character in the first place - but hyness is just a bridge too far. his presentation and design almost feels malicious at some points.

this kind of feels like it springs from a thing i’ve mentioned a few times before, which is that kumazaki really needs someone standing by his side ready to slap his wrist every so often during the writing process. he is without doubt the best director the series has seen, and thanks to him we’ve gotten some amazing games with amazing stories and lore developments, but star allies demonstrated to us that he also kind of goes mad with power sometimes and creates a mess LOL

this isn’t even me being uncharitable or anything, it’s straight from the horse’s mouth. there are interviews about FL talking about how the team made the conscious decision to tell a much simpler story with FL after seeing how much confusion SA caused (and also, because of the same, choosing to have a much more stringent localisation process).

unfortunately, it feels like sometimes kumazaki - or any of the other writers, i’m only pointing out kumazaki so much here because it seems to be mostly him - wants to include some topics and themes that are just a bit of a stretch for what’s appropriate in a kirby game, and hyness is the chief example of this.

and it sucks! it sucks a lot! more dark matter rep and SPECIFICALLY a dark matter cult is something the fanbase has been slavering for for decades! i love hyness and what he represents in the story but BOY HOWDY DO I NOT LOVE HOW HE WAS DELIVERED.

[quodekash]

OKAY WHAT WAS THAT (this is code for: ive just finished episode 2 of boss and a babe and now its time for my commentary bc i cant keep my thoughts to myself and i deeply apologise for it) 

“three and zo, my gaming teammates, have the same kind of love you have” I FREAKING KNEW IT OMG 

and FINALLY OMG IVE WAITED SO LONG TO SEE DRAKE SATTABUT LAEDEKE’S FACE ON MY SCREEN AND THAT DAY IS FINALLY HERE 

it’s always so abrupt and weird to hear people speaking english in this show. i dont like english as a language. please stop speaking it. either drake or force (genuinely cant tell because the english is so jarring to hear) literally says “oh my god man” and my brain is very confused 

oh how i have missed seeing this man’s absurdly thick eyebrows that i cherish so dearly 

THREE AND ZO ARE TOO CUTE 

THREE CALLING ZO TINY??? 

THREE SAYING SO CAN ONLY CARRY ONE THING AND IT’S HIS HEART 

ZO FEEDING THREE 

THEM FONDING OVER EACH OTHER 

THEM BEING UNASHAMED AND ADORABLE EVEN IN FRONT OF FORMAL BOSS MAN 

ah shoot theyre becoming soundwin 

aoi is so iconic. “since the boss isn’t here, you guys must help me record a tiktok video” i love her 

ALSO ALL OF CHER’S ENCOURAGEMENT THROUGHOUT THE EP AND HIS LOVE OF LOVE AND HIS ANTI-HOMOPHOBIA-NESS AND HIS EVERYTHING IS JUST SO GBGHBHTB I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

HE SMILES??? HE KNOWS HOW TO DO THAT??? 

“i have no friends, im antisocial, and im gay” lmao same. well, actually not same. same about the gay part. not the rest of it

“do you need more than a hug?” sirs we are tWO EPISODES IN-- 

uM??? 

AND THEYRE JUST GONNA GO FOR IT AGAIN? ALRIGHT SURE THAT’S FINE I GUESS 

you know what, these two really didnt beat around the bush like tinn and gun did. tinngun couldve kissed 67 times and they only did in the last episode. and only twice. and one of those times barely counted. these two just went straight (well, gay) for it and honestly? good for them. 

still not entirely sure how to feel about how its not at all a professional relationship and also what exactly is the age gap here and also there’s the problem with that power imbalance they have but im ignoring all of that for now and hoping they resolve it later 

but my main takeaway from the episode: THREEZO IS CANON AND IM SO FREAKING HAPPY ABOUT IT 

and i didnt at all process anything in that preview of ep3 other than the fact that we’re gonna get a threezo cheek kiss and that thought alone is gonna carry me through this week 

[sonknuxadow]

one of my favorite splatoon facts to drop on people who know nothing about it is that there is canonically a song called #$@%* dudes be #$@%* sleeping and it was so explicit that they refused to play it on the radio 

[muchmossymess]

I know we all say "blorbo altered my brain chemistry" but you know who really altered my brain chemistry?

[suprntralsa]

— ✿ tag dump. › zack addy.

— ✿ i don't know what that means. › zack's main verse.

— ✿ you must be one of the squints. › zack's canon verse.

— ✿ zachary addy. › in character.

— ✿ point of clarification i'm not a virgin nowhere near in fact. › zack appearance.

— ✿ you're a genius who can't drive. › zack's headcanons.

— ✿ you know you guys squint when you look at things. › zack's aesthetics.

[villainbait]

Exclusive Favors

Pairing: Sylus x MC / fem!reader Rating: PG-13 Tags: who did this to you, hurt, comfort, hurt/comfort, injury, implied violence, brief violence mentions, angst, canon sylus behavior, blood mentions, kissing if you squint Summary: You barely survived a night on your own in the N109 Zone without the watchful gaze of certain Onychinus leader, but at what cost? Word Count: 1.5k

The dull sound of your door closing was like the snap of a final curtain call falling into place and you slumped against it, relieved to be safely in your own apartment. You had survived a night in the N109 Zone on your own, but it had been a near miss. One you wouldn’t be repeating, especially since the intel you wanted had been a bust, anyway. 

You touched your side, your breathing uneven, and you wince. You definitely have a cracked rib. You try to take a deep breath and pain radiates from your chest into your stomach, making you a little nauseous. Okay, maybe two.

You were trying to psych yourself up to move and trudge into your apartment to give yourself much needed medical attention when the reverberating shock of someone's forceful knock bounced you against your door-frame. You consider not answering the insistent caller on the other side, but a muffled, familiar baritone floats through the door.

"Open the door, sweetie."

A sigh left your lips at the demand and you tried to stifle the pathetic, painful whimper that your exasperation cost you. Of all the people on the other side of that door, Sylus was the most unexpected. Or maybe not, considering he boasted that he knew everything that went on in his territory. Maybe that’s why he was here and if it was, he wouldn’t leave until his curiosity was satisfied.

The door cracks open and you stare up at him through the hole you made, reluctant to allow him entrance and to partially block his view of the damage those thugs had caused when they mugged you in the alleyway earlier tonight. However, Sylus’s easy smile is nowhere to be found and the frown lines on his forehead are the deepest you've ever seen them. His large hand wraps around the door-frame so you can’t close it again and he pushes gently against it, but you don’t budge. 

"Who did this to you?" His tone is dangerously low.

You ignore his question, instead poking your head out to look down the deserted hallway of your apartment building. "Why are you here? It's dangerous." It was risky for Sylus to wander around Linkon City normally, even if he claimed many people didn't know what he actually looked like. However, the Hunter’s Association did and your building was crawling with employees at all hours of the day and night.

"You didn't answer your phone, so I got worried."

Oh right, you had forgotten they had taken that too. You sighed again, the pain of having to replace everything beginning to give you a headache. That key charm Zayne had given you for your birthday was perhaps the worst thing to have lost, maybe more than the phone itself.

"Let me in, kitten." Sylus’s voice is gently cajoling and you concede because you're too tired to argue with him tonight. So you open the door and  try to act normal, but your voice is far too lighthearted for how heavy your legs feel as you trudge into the apartment. 

“You know, if you keep frowning like that you’ll get wrinkles and people really will think you’re an old man.” 

He follows you in with a small chuckle, his eyes bouncing around the room as if the perpetrators could be hiding in the shadows. When you grabbed the first aid kit and sat down to tend to your injuries, Sylus was suddenly there, kneeling in front of you. His hands push yours out of the way and he silently takes over the job of nurse, and you think about fighting him as you watch him roll up his shirtsleeves but realize you were just too exhausted to care. 

“What happened?” He asks eventually and you realize you will have to tell him something. Lying won’t work, he’ll find out if he didn’t already know. 

“What often happens when you end up in the wrong place at the wrong time in the N109 Zone, Sylus.” You offer with a single shrug, doing your best to sit still while he cleans the wound on your arm. “You know that better than me.” 

“Were you wearing–” he was referring to the brooch that signified your status as protected. 

“They took that too.” His hands stilled on the bandage he was applying on your forearm. “Did they, now?” he murmured silkily and you saw a muscle in his jaw tick, though his expression was partially obscured by his unruly hair. “After all that trouble I went through, too.” You tried to make a joke to ease the tension which earned you a soft amused twitch of Sylus’s lips. He was too angry to truly smile and you could feel it radiating off of him in waves. Despite that, his hands were painstakingly gentle as he touched what was clearly a blossoming bruise around your wrist. Sylus’s tender touch lingers on your injuries and he checks each one with a thoroughness that feels as if he’s memorizing exactly where you were hurt. 

He orders some of your favorite food, helps you get cleaned up, and tucks you into your bed. He points to the notepad you kept by your bedside table that you sometimes scribble notes on when you took calls. “Make me a list of what they looked like, and then go to bed. I’ll take care of the rest.” Before you could protest, he left the room abruptly. You picked up the notepad and stared at the print of the cute little animals dancing around the top. You’d bought it on a whim after seeing how cute it looked in a stationary shop window near one of your mission sites. It seemed too obscene to write what would virtually be a hit list on such charming paper. 

Instead, you scribble all of the reasons you’re grateful for today. Right at the top was that you had survived all on your own in the N109 Zone and you were able to see the infamous Onychinus leader kneeling at your feet. The list grew as you included the tasty food you ate earlier, and the glimpse of a suspiciously familiar crow you saw on your way into work this morning. The page was halfway filled when the pain medication Sylus had convinced you to take started to kick in and you felt your eyelids drooping. 

Drowsily, you snuggle down underneath your covers and clutch the plushie Sylus and you had won at the arcade last weekend. When you hear the distant muffled click of your door opening, you try to rouse yourself but you felt so warm and your body felt so heavy that you couldn’t manage it. That doesn’t stop you from trying until a large hand gently smoothed back your mussed hair, and the sensation of soft knuckles trace the curve of your cheek. “It’s just me,” the familiar voice murmured and you tried to speak but he shushed you. “Sleep, kitten.” 

You swear you felt the ghost of his lips on yours before he was gone, but maybe it was just part of the hazy dream you had of crows, violence, and enchanting sanguine eyes. 

Sylus returns to the N109 Zone and finds himself staring at the “list,” a bemused smile on his face. He shakes his head and tucks the cutesy page into his pocket. You were far too adorable and it made what he was about to do that much more satisfying, sauntering into the abandoned warehouse where your phone had last pinged; deceptively calm. The screams and stench of death shuddered throughout the N109 Zone tonight, serving as a violent and bloody reminder to all that no one should dare to touch what was his lest they face the consequences. 

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, your fingers fumble for your buzzing phone and land on the familiar outline of the brooch, both in their normal places as if yesterday was just a bad dream. Through your sleepy daze, you realize your other hand is occupied–as is your bed. Turning, you’re surprised to find Sylus is fast asleep next to you, his hand intertwined tightly with yours. There’s deep circles under his eyes, but his normally furrowed brow is smoothed out in sleep. With a sleepy smile, you curl back up to let him rest a little while longer, tucking your joined hands against your chest, cuddling his arm.

You both doze off together, and you’ve never felt so safe.