#i know this has been posted 10 million times before but i couldn't find it! so posting again.

[hereticaas]

The Unholy Family | IWTV Season One Promo (x, x)

[missmonsters2]

Mirror, Mirror | One

Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: The thought of something more had never really crossed Wanda's mind when it came to you. Best friends for 10 years and there hasn't even been one instance of accidental sexual tension. You're her best friend, that's all—until someone points out that you obviously have a very specific type when it comes to dating.

Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.

*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*

Note: i'm back!!! Nothing like coming back and posting a mini series. Enjoy this superior trope. Updates will be on Tuesdays! As you can see, we're trying something new with explicit content lol 😬

Reminder there's no taglist but you can follow my library blog for notifications 💘

Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

Count: ~4.1k

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It's strange how sometimes a single sentence can change someone's entire life. 

Wanda's thought about what sentences could change her life—usually, they're morbid and depressing.

'You have cancer.'

'Someone you love has died horrifically in an accident.'

'Your cat actually finds living with you miserable and would prefer the dangers of living in the streets.'

Never in a million years would Wanda ever think it'd be, 'Hey, have you ever noticed how your best friend exclusively only dates girls who look like you?'

And don't get Wanda wrong. It wasn't a morbid or depressing change; it was just...a change. An irrevocable change because now, Wanda couldn't stop thinking about it or noticing it. 

This was all Steve's fault. 

Because if someone like Stupid Steve could notice something like that, it had to mean something, right? But as Wanda remembers about the past girls you've hooked up with and brought around, she doesn't know what to make of it.

A part of Wanda wishes she had never talked to Steve that night at the bar. 

"Where's Vis?" Steve asked, looking around.

"With Tony playing pool, I think," Wanda shrugged. She doesn't particularly keep track of where her on-and-off boyfriend goes. She thinks they might be on an off-period right now, anyway. 

"And where's—oh, nevermind, there she is," Steve started to say but cut off when they both saw you across the bar talking with the bartender, flirting over drinks—which were probably free if Wanda could guess. 

Wanda's slightly annoyed because it's been a long week without seeing you, and Wanda's been used to seeing you almost every day for the past several years of her life. But you've been gone on a work trip this week for a wedding shoot and only came home just a little after lunch and needed an immediate long nap before tonight's get-together. 

That meant Wanda was sorely missing out on best-friend time, and now you were off flirting shamelessly with the hot bartender. Wanda's rooting for you, make no mistake. The bartender is definitely easy on the eyes, luscious hair, and lips—something Wanda knows you're weak for. 

Plus, Wanda's worried you're not anywhere near getting close to settling down. She wants you to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship. But she supposes she's in no position to talk herself. 

Wanda loves Vision without a doubt, but their relationship is definitely chaotic, and Vision keeps pushing for something more serious now that they've been dating (sporadically) for a long time. She's been considering it in her downtime and thinks it might make sense as the next step.

Best friends do everything together, right? So, maybe if Wanda decided to take the next step in a serious relationship, you'd find someone to commit to seriously as well. 

Then, both of you could get married at the same time. Then, they could buy a house in the same neighborhood right next to each other. There'd be endless double dates and vacations together. Wanda wouldn't have to miss you.

But first, Wanda needed to regain lost best-friend time, one-on-one style.  

"Hey, you know what I just noticed?" Steve said, breaking Wanda's drifting thoughts. 

"What?"

"Bug—" 

Wanda makes a face at your nickname. Granted, it was Wanda's fault you ended up with it back in your first year of university. You never let her forget it, especially now that you're a professional photographer.

"—over there has a very specific type she goes after for girls," Steve mused, sipping his whiskey before continuing. "I mean, they always have green eyes and brunette—wait, that's not true. She had two red-headed girlfriends in our last year of university. They still had green eyes, though." 

"Oh," Wanda said, unsure what to say since she's never paid attention to the girls you were dating. On average, they were a brief fling, and only a few lasted longer than half a year. "I guess so?"

Wanda distantly thinks about how she dyed her hair auburn in her last year of university because she was looking for a change that year and Natasha was insistent that she'd look amazing. Wanda recalls you were a fan of the look.

"Yeah," Steve nodded along. "Ironically, they always look like you in some way. Check out that bartender now—long, wavy-haired brunette with green eyes. She's got thick, long lips and even does that dark eye-shadow makeup thingy like you."

Steve just laughed it off, finishing his drink, thinking nothing more of it before he started talking about Bucky.

But it was like something clicked into place in Wanda's brain. A daunting realization that she was wholly unprepared for and not equipped to do anything about. 

Wanda watched as the bartender clocked off for the night and dragged you into a corner booth, drinks in hand. It gave Wanda the perfect view that the bartender wore many rings just like she did. 

In the poor privacy of the dimly lit corner booth, there was a staunch and needy kiss from the two of you, and Wanda swallowed roughly. 

From here, if you were none the wiser, Wanda could be easily mistaken for the girl in the booth with you. 

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Sometimes, Wanda believes she's just being absolutely ridiculous. So what if you go after girls who share the same features as her? That didn't have to mean anything. You've always told Wanda she was beautiful, and it was perfect how you said it. 

It didn't feel insincere or creepy. It felt good to know her best friend thought she was absolutely gorgeous. But just because you thought she was beautiful doesn't mean you harbored secret feelings for her. 

You'd be insulted if you knew Wanda had ever thought that. She'd just be another one of those girls Wanda's seen you humble on multiple occasions when they found out you dated women, and they were worried you might have a crush on them. 

But then, Wanda couldn't stop thinking she actually might be one of those girls because then she'd think about if you didn't consider her like that, it wasn't about her looks but something about her personality that wasn't your type. 

And what could that be?

Wanda thought long and hard, trying to remember the girls you've introduced her to. 

Sometimes they were funny, and Wanda was funny. She made you laugh all the time. She specifically remembered one time in high school when she made you laugh so hard you peed your pants just a little. 

Sometimes they were intellectual, and while Wanda didn't have an IQ of 160, she did fairly well academically and was on the right track in her career. 

Sometimes they were charming, and Wanda was the type where she got more charming the more you got to know her. 

So, Wanda just doesn't understand. She's nowhere further with her thinking ever since this weird information has been bestowed upon her.

Maybe it all just means nothing. You just didn't feel that way about Wanda despite the type of girls you dated suggesting otherwise. You didn't need a reason for it, and maybe the fact you only felt friendship for her was the reason. 

"Wanna order pizza in tonight?"

Wanda turns her head from the tv and notices you've put your book down. "Hm, not really. We had pizza last week," Wanda shakes her head. 

"How about that Greek place that just opened up on Willington Ave?" You suggest. "Pretty sure I heard you grumbling about wanting Greek food earlier this week."

"I was not grumbling!" Wanda scoffs but smiles when you raise your eyebrow at her. "Okay, I was grumbling a little."

You snicker as you pull out your phone to order delivery. "Oh, sweet golden best friend of mine, whatever shall you do when you get married to Vis, who hates Greek food. Do I foresee a life of Greekless cuisine? Oh, the suffering you'll go through!"

"I don't need him to like it," Wanda slaps your arm, sticking her tongue out before she cuddles you. "I have you to eat it with."

You laugh unabashedly, a sound that Wanda's accustomed to hearing the joyful sound. "Better hope the person I marry also hates Greek cuisine. I don't know if I can live a life of eating double the Greek food. I love tzatziki sauce, but if I grow to hate it from eating it too much, I will make you suffer the consequences of that."

Your voice trails off as you focus on ordering food, unable to see the cogs in Wanda's head turning. 

It's all so easy. There's no tension, no electric vibes happening. Just best friends enjoying the banter and making plans to eat. 

It was all in Wanda's head, right? You're her best friend, so of course you'd know everything about her. 

The right type of friendship is fulfilling and soul-connecting, and that's what Wanda has with you. When you have a one-in-a-million connection like that, the line between friendship and romance is thin, isn't it?

Wanda hates Steve. She'd never think about this if it wasn't for Stupid Steve. She can hear his dumb laugh, blissfully ignorant about the observation bomb he dropped upon her. 

"Do you wanna get ice cream after?" You ask, throwing your phone to the side. "I'll even treat you to the gelato despite knowing I'm going to suffer through your crazy farts later."

"Oh my god, I'm going to trap you under the blanket with it just for that!" 

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Within two months, Wanda forgets about it. Forgets, as in that she decides to drop it (let it linger in the deep depths of her brain that she refuses to acknowledge), and resolves that Steve has no brain cells and has no idea what he's saying. 

"Have you seen my strapless black top?" Wanda shouts from her room with the door open. "The one with the v-shaped front!"

"In your closet!" You yelled back from the living room, not taking your eyes off your phone. 

"I can't find it," Wanda whines, and she hears you sigh as you get up. The footsteps approach her room, and she finds you standing at the door with an unimpressed look.

"I don't want to hear it," Wanda sniffs. 

"Hear what, brat?" You say with a brow raised before you start rummaging through her closet. The nickname was a joke you started that Wanda was entirely a spoiled person, exhibiting bratty behavior at times. "That I'm not gonna be your roommate forever, so you need to learn to fold it yourself before putting it away?"

Wanda makes grumbling noises that are mostly nonsensical but smiles when you pull out the top she was looking for. 

"You are the apple of my eye, stinky," Wanda grabs the top from you before she runs into her washroom to briefly change into it. 

"A match made in heaven, yeah, yeah," you roll your eyes with good humor. "Hurry up, Natasha will kill us if we're late for Yelena's birthday. They're on an upwards mend in their relationship, so she's been so unbearably uptight lately to make sure nothing goes wrong."

"I know, I know," Wanda mutters, carefully pulling the top over her head to not ruin her makeup. 

"Alright, I'll hail us a cab, meet me outside."

"Wait, wait!" Wanda calls out. "I need help putting on my necklace."

You chuckle, walking back just as Wanda steps out of the bathroom with the delicate necklace she wants to wear. 

"Alright, alright, relax," you tell her. "Your accent gets really strong when you're stressed."

"You're stressing me out by rushing me," Wanda scrunches her nose even though you can't see it. "I'm also stressed knowing that you have to rush me, or I'll spend the party getting lectured by Natasha."

Wanda's voice comes out husked with the accent, something she's struggled between hating or loving, but mostly loving since you've expressed how lovely it is.

You grab the necklace from her hand, and Wanda moves her hair out of the way. The routine of it all starts to bleed the tension out of her shoulders. 

Then, that horrible Stupid Steve Sentence kicks into her brain. 

 It's only as you put your arms over, placing the necklace against Wanda's chest, and focusing on trying to get the clasp in. Wanda can feel your warm breath against her neck, summoning goosebumps along her arms. You're so close, and she can feel the heat of your body radiating onto her, your fingers just barely brushing against her.

The tension comes suddenly, squeezing inside her chest as her breathing slows and shakes. Her body warms in an unexpected way. 

"Ah, got it," you say, but Wanda can only focus on your voice and breath on the shell of her ear. "Cute necklace but the clasp is so annoying."

You pull away and start walking off. "C'mon, I bet if we tip our taxi driver an extra $20 bucks, they'll speed and we can pray we're on time."

Wanda's left standing there, knowing she probably sounds like she's fresh out of Sokovia with how stressed she is. Her right eye twitches.

Was that...Wanda gulps. Was that sexual tension?

And was she the only one who felt it?

Fuck.

She's going to kill Steve.

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Natasha's absolutely neurotic when they arrive. It's just a simple backyard party, but it almost looks like a wedding venue with all the catering and flowers. 

Wanda's pretty sure Natasha's only being like this because she's overthinking about whether to cling to Yelena or give her sister some space to mingle with others. She seems to be sizing up Kate, who Yelena might be seeing, but it hasn't been confirmed. 

Yelena looks between exasperated with Natasha and secretly happy about the entire thing. Wanda can sympathize with her. After all, she's also a little sister, and Pietro can also be way too overprotective. Sometimes she's glad he's abroad in Europe for work while she remains in New York, but she misses him more often than she admits. 

"Alright, alright, Natasha," you groan, and Wanda's mind slips back into the conversation. "We're 3 minutes late, relax, will you? Damn, are you always gonna be like this until you and Yelena get back into whatever sibling bond you had before? Hope you're just like this with us because otherwise, you're gonna scare away all her friends, and she's going to hate you."

"Oh my god, do you think she'll really hate me?" Natasha bites her bottom lip in worry while looking around at all the people that they can only assume she's nagged about being late or whatever mishap. 

"Oh, man," you sigh, putting your hand on her shoulders before pushing her towards the bar. "You need some drinks and maybe some desserts in you."

Wanda's about to follow you when you turn around and nod your head in a different direction. She looks over and sees you're nodding toward Vision.

"You should go say hi to him," you tell her. "You've been complaining about not seeing him all last week, even though I don't know why you guys won't just FaceTime, but I digress. Come find me later, or I'll find you after."

You look over at Natasha, who's peering on her tippy toes to see if she can find Yelena.

"And, hopefully, I'll have ditched this nutjob," you whisper conspiratorially and laugh when Natasha turns around to smack your arm. 

"I heard that!"

Wanda chuckles as you walk off with Natasha while she turns and heads toward Vision. Despite how she was complaining about not seeing Vision last week because she did miss him, her expression was sour as she made her way toward him. 

Vision spots her immediately and waves at her with a warm smile. Wanda feels herself somewhat loosened at his expression. They'd also been friends a long time before they started on-and-off dating, so at the very least, she does miss his easy friendship. 

"Hey," Vision hugs her, slightly rubbing her back before he pulls away but keeps his arm around her. "It's been a while; you look lovely."

"Thanks," Wanda smiles with a shrug. She looks around and sees he's standing with Tony and Pepper. "How are you guys?"

"Could be better," Tony sighs dramatically. "Natasha won't let me do any of my cool party tricks as if I'm going to ruin her little sister's party. If anything, I could make it the party of the century!"

Pepper rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "We were just talking about how we're thinking of going to the Bahamas for vacation in December and escaping the cold. We've invited you and Vision along since it's been awhile since we've all gone together. Of course, we can also invite Bug and Natasha."

"Oh," Wanda says for a lack of anything else to say. She doesn't know how to feel about it, but she peers over at Vision, who's just smiling at her and looking eager about it. 

"I need another drink if I'm going to suffer through this party," Tony sighs. "Maybe I can convince Yelena instead!" He grins, dragging Pepper along, and they walk off together. 

"So, what do you think?" Vision asks when they're alone. "I didn't want to reply on your behalf since I wasn't sure, but I think it'd be good for us. I've missed you," Vision pauses as if he's about his next words but then says, "a lot."

"Yeah, me too," Wanda starts to say, but then her brain gets all haywire because it feels like a lie. She did miss him, but did she miss him a lot? "I think."

"You think?"

Wanda wants to smack her forehead because she didn't mean to say that out loud. "I mean, I was complaining a lot that I haven't seen you in a while all last week."

"Yeah, work has just been overwhelming. I get so tired after work, I just can't keep up with the texting or calls."

But you can, Wanda thinks. Granted, you're her roommate, so it's easier. But even when you have to go on work trips, you regularly text her no matter what time and squeeze in a quick call, even if it's just to say goodnight. 

The entire thing makes Wanda bite her tongue because why was she even thinking about that? That was completely irrelevant to Vision. 

Then—because as if just thinking about you wasn't enough—her eyes trail across the room, and the scene before her makes Wanda even more confused about her feelings.

You're standing there with Natasha at the bar, but it looks like Natasha's calling someone over to introduce you to them.

Another brunette with long, wavy hair, like she just had a blowout done. Wanda's not 100% sure from this distance, but she has an inkling that the brunette also has green eyes. She's wearing a white halter top and wide-legged sage green pants. She wears a lot of rings, but her makeup is lighter and more summery compared to Wanda's darker, smokey eye makeup.

In short, this woman was the clean girl aesthetic version of Wanda. 

And you look interested. 

This was ridiculous, Wanda fumes, feeling her stomach sink and cheeks flare hot in anger. As quick as the anger came, it dissipated.

Why was she so angry?

She feels betrayed, and her thoughts are turning very ugly. Wanda is definitely not being a girl's girl right now with how much she's thinking she's better than the girl in front of you. 

But that just makes everything so much more confusing. 

"Wanda?"

Wanda turns her head back to Vision. He looks concerned, and even when his eyes trail toward what Wanda's staring at, there's no additional reaction. He's not upset that she's staring at you, and that has to mean something, right?

It must mean there was never a concern about how Wanda might've felt about you. Sure, there were a few things Wanda couldn't be without, and you were one of them, but nobody can't be without their best friend. 

No one had ever blinked twice about you and Wanda.

Except now.

And that person was Wanda herself. 

The more Wanda thought about the entire thing, the more she became curious. The idea of you dating people who looked like Wanda was intriguing. She wanted to ask questions but didn't know what to ask.

It might mean nothing, but it also might mean something. 

And if it does mean something, Wanda wants to know what exactly it is. 

Therefore, Wanda needs nothing in her way to find out the truth and exactly what she wants, regardless of the answer. 

This was insane, wasn't it? Wanda's always been ambivalent about dating women. She's never gone out of her way to try it since she had Vision. Never mind entertaining thoughts about dating her best (girl)friend. And now, she was giving everything up in the pursuit of finding out what it could mean that her best friend was dating her lookalikes—and why she cared.

Wanda doesn't even know what she'll want to do with that information. 

Wanda looks at Vision, peering at his features she's always found handsome. When she thinks back, she's not even sure why she complained to you about how she hasn't seen or heard from him lately. She hadn't even gone out of her own way to do something about it.

"I'm not going on the trip. I don't think I actually missed you like that."

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The girl introduced to you was named Raye, Natasha's coworker that recently moved from Nashville. It was also confirmed she has green eyes, though they had specks of brown in them. She was a southern belle with a bold attitude, witty, and a wicked sense of humor. All in all, undeniably charismatic. 

At least, that's what you told her in private because all Wanda could feel was unrestricted aggravation with the other girl. The southern twang made Wanda's eye twitch, mostly because she knew you were head over heels for accents.  

"And then before I knew it, I was panicked and more lost than a blindfolded turkey on thanksgiving!"

You burst out laughing while Wanda's expression is stony, but when you look at Wanda, she forces a smile on her lips.

"Hahaha," Wanda dryly let out. "So funny."

But it wasn't. What the fuck did that even mean?

Raye continues to talk while you listen with rapt interest, and Wanda takes the time to observe your features in a way she's done many times before but with a different mindset. 

Your lips are curved in a smile, glistening from your chapstick. They're shapely, and they look soft. It rivals her favorite feature of yours, which is your eyes. They've always been so expressive with her, and Wanda's been around long enough that she knows what every expression means. She can tell when they glint with mischievousness or are soft with immense compassion and empathy. 

"So, what did you think of Raye?" You ask Wanda as you leave the party.

"She's cool, I guess," Wanda answers nonchalantly. 

The rest of the party was excruciating between Raye constantly hanging around you and Wanda also being too nervous to be alone with you. 

"Really cool," you sigh with a grin. "Glad I got her number. It's been a while since I've met someone so funny."

Was she funny, though? Wanda wonders.

"Funnier than me?" Wanda finds herself asking.

"No one could be funnier than you, brat," you smirk. "I almost peed myself laughing again when you almost knocked off Yelena's cake. I thought Natasha was about to enter into a coma." You snicker while Wanda rolls her eyes with a smile. 

"Glad I can always give you the biggest laughs, stinky."

Wanda glances over at your face, recognizing the excitement by the brightness in them. It's just another reminder that, as your best friend, she knows you like the back of her hand. 

But lately, when Wanda watches you pick up girls, she can tell when they're heady with desire. That look hasn't been directed at her, and Wanda wants to know what it'd be like if it were.

Wanda recalls the night you kissed the bartender and imagines if it had been her instead. She pictures your hand sliding across her jaw and cheek while your other pulls her closer at the waist. 

It's horrifying when a slow pit of arousal builds in Wanda's gut and...other regions. It feels utterly frightening and wrong like she's betraying the friendship for having and then reacting to such thoughts about you. 

But there's another part—the part that tells Wanda there's nobody in this world that she loves more than you. The mere idea of ever being apart from you was unfathomable. Wanda could and has endured so many things, and it would always be okay as long as she had you. 

So, knowing that Southern Belle Raye has the potential to be more than a one-night stand to you, Wanda realizes that she has a very small window to not only come to terms with her newfound feelings but also act on them as well. 

If this didn't go well, Wanda would definitely murder Steve.

PART TWO

[damon-loves-pie]

Girls Talk Boys

"Girls Talk Boys."

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader.

Word count: About 3,200 words

Warnings: 18+, Some ‘smut’ not much though kissing, talking about sex, some touching, but nothing too vivid. Talks of sexual relations, hidden relationships, sex toys implied. Henderson reader, and of course Eddie and Max never got hurt. 

ANOTHER WARNING: Max does imply asking about sex toys and how people are in bed just like most teenage girls I know, I know she’s young but going off how I was at 14/15 I was buying them already and experimenting with things like that. She DOES NOT DO anything sexual, she just teases Nancy and the reader and asks about their sex life. But if it’s going to bother you I ask you please to not read it, or hate on it since again I am writing based on how I have experienced life.

Summary: After defeating Vecna the party has made it mandatory to have dedicated hang out days. It is boys/girls night at Steve and El/the byers. Eddie and the older Henderson Sister have a secret relationship while people ask why they aren’t together. 

Author’s note: Hello everyone! I am back with another story! I feel great to have been able to write not one, but two stories! Especially after not having had motivation to do anything in months. I had gotten inspiration for this actually weeks ago but just couldn’t find a way to put it in words. I was driving and girls talk boys by 5sos came on off my playlist and it got me thinking. And yes I did listen to the song 10 million times while writing this. It is 3 AM where I am, so I have not proofread and don’t want to wait to post because I was excited about this. I hope you all enjoy! 

Writing Masterlist

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Summer of '86 was unlike any summer before. It felt like there was more pressure to make it as normal as possible for all of us, especially after what we've been through the last couple of years. We all realized after the final battle against Vecna we were bonded for life and needed to make sure we took care of each other.

Which is why that March after the government somehow cleared Eddie's name, we started having dedicated nights for the party outside of our usual hangouts. The second Saturday had became movie/game night for everyone. While the 4th Saturday of the month was dedicated to boys/girls night.  

It was something that was all agreed upon. We would switch out homes, parents fully understanding the need of it. (Well besides Mr. Wheeler of course, but Mrs. Wheeler is quick to put him in his place.) Though it seems the usual hosts tend to be Steve and El/Byers. Steve's parents still don't seem to care to be home and Joyce somehow convinces Hopper we're all grown enough to be alone and that if anything were to happen, it would somehow happen even with them there by reminding him of high school.

All the parents knew of everything though. After the upside down broke through to the real world, there wasn't anyway of hiding what we all had been dealing with the last couple of years. Steve's parents just wanted to make sure their house was okay, while the Sinclair's were pissed to find out both of their children had put themselves into dangerous situations.

Dustin and I's mom wasn't happy with us, after having lost our father she didn't want to experience the loss of someone else important to her. (We didn't have the heart to tell her what happened to Mews though, that will forever be a secret.) Max's mom couldn't believe she had moved her daughter to a place more dangerous than California, when she moved here in hopes of keeping her safe.

Mrs. Wheeler and Mr. Wheeler didn't have a lot to say, Mr. Wheeler still doesn't believe that we've spent the last couple years actually fighting these things. He claimed we all had great imaginations, while Mrs. Wheeler was in shock but made us promise to tell her and the other parents if anything were to ever happen again.

Wayne didn't care about the upside down, or the monsters. He was just happy his boy was safe, and had gotten cleared of all chargers. He claimed to have known the government was hiding more than the masses were being told of. Said if they had just been honest, maybe none of this would of ever happen.

I don't really know what happen with Argyle’s parents, to be honest I'm not even sure if they know, with him being 18 when the events happened. Robin's parents at first wanted to move her away, to shelter her from all of this. She was supposed to be focused on graduating and band, not getting involved in this mess. But she convinced them to stay since she was already 18 and an adult, plus since she only had a few months till graduation.

Which talking about graduation; Nancy, Robin, and Eddie managed to graduate. Nancy and Robin were a given but Eddie got through with a loophole. After the 'earthquake' ruined half the town, they wanted to push out all of the students to make room for those who needed shelter. So basically everyone got passed for the remainder of the year.

But the weirdest thing to have happened since Vecna is Eddie and I. After Eddie almost got killed in the Upside Down, I couldn't keep my feelings a secret anymore. Little did I know before speaking out to him about it that night in my house, he himself was preparing to tell me how he felt.

Both of us couldn't imagine having not told each other how we felt and didn't want to risk another moment. That night lead to where I am today, pinned under Edward Munson as he begs me to skip girl's night.

It was June 28th, 1986. The last Saturday of the month and instead of getting prepared for going to El's, I was listening to Eddie's excuses.

"Come on sweetheart, do we really have to go tonight?" He teases against my neck, lips loosely moving against my skin while he leaves small, sweet kisses. The air was thick and heavy as he held me beneath him, letting his rough hands hold my hips in place while his lips explored my body.

My body ached with desire at the thought of staying in the sheets with Eddie. With my hands running beneath his shirt, nails lightly scratching into his back as he bites my earlobe slightly, causing me to gasp softy.

"No," I moan lightly, his tongue swirling around my collarbone before he bites the sensitive skin. "B-But, I think it would make everyone question where both of us were." I stutter, feeling his hands roam up underneath my shirt onto my stomach, shivering from the touch.

"We can just say we forgot," He breathes, continuing to work on my body. His lips trailing kisses up my neck to my lips, connecting his with mine. My brain fogged as his tongue traced my bottom lip before entering my mouth. Moaning into the kiss, I roll my tongue against Eddie’s, his hands moving to feel under my breast, cupping them slightly.

Part of me wanted to say fuck the others and stay right here melting beneath his touch. But I can't, we can't. Pulling away, I set my forehead against his. Both of us breathing heavy as we look into each other's eyes.

"Eddie, till we tell everyone, we can't risk anyone asking anymore questions than they already do." I tell him, feeling my chest move up and down heavily. Eddie nods slightly, understanding.

We both had wanted to keep it a secret because we hadn't wanted to give our friends another big change to deal with. We felt like it wasn't fair to them especially after everything that had happened, given we didn't expect to keep it a secret for so long. But the town was finally getting back to normal.

"We don't have to sneak around much longer, I promise." I smiled at him, pushing back his hair out of his face.

"I know, (Y/N). The town has almost everything rebuilt and people are finally starting to move back into their homes." He nods, leaning over to grab a cigarette off the nightstand. I watch as he sits up, lighting it before leaning against the wall of his bed.

Wayne and him had gotten a good amount of hush money from the 'misunderstanding' and bought a nice little house for the two of them here in Hawkins. People were fleeing after having realized Hawkins was more 'cursed' than they thought. But that meant that Wayne finally had his own room ever since having taken Eddie in when he was a boy. I hated how it had to of happened, but I was happy they were able to make the best of things.

I smiled at him as he offered the cigarette to me, taking it between my fingers. Bringing the cigarette to my lips, I inhaled deeply picturing the reactions of everyone once they knew.

"Do you think they would find it weird? Even though they keep asking why we aren't together yet?" I look at him, watching his eyebrow furrow as he takes the cigarette back between his fingers.

"Why would they find it weird?" He asks, blowing smoke out of his lips. Shrugging, I blush slightly.

"Because it actually happened? And maybe they will find it weird because they didn't expect it to." I tell him nervously.

"Do you think dating me is weird?" Eddie teases, passing the cigarette back to me.

"No," I laugh as the smoke bursts out of my mouth.

"Well then they shouldn't think any different." Eddie reassures me placing his hand on my knee, giving it a light squeeze before handing me the cigarette with his other hand.

"It's just this will be big news to them, especially Dustin. He looks up to you so much." I sigh, putting the cigarette out in his ashtray.

"I know sweetheart, but I don't think them knowing would change anything, hell like we said they keep asking both of us when it's going to happen." He reminds me, drawing circles on my knee with his finger lightly.  Eddie chuckles, causing me to smile I turn towards him.

"What?" I laugh lightly.

He smiles slightly, shaking his head.

"It's just you've never actually told me what the girls say to you." Eddie tells me, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

I felt my face redden as he looked at me, knowing there was a reason I never told him about what goes down at girl's night. It's the same reason I try to not pry about boy's night.

Pulling my hands to my face, I feel a nervous laugh escape my lips.

"They just ask the normal things. Like what I think of you, if would I date you," I tell him, as my voice trails off " or If  I would uh um sleep with you." I mumble, hoping he didn't hear the last part.

But unfortunately Eddie did, causing a grin to spread across his face, brown eyes shinning.

"Oh and what do you say? Would you sleep with the freak?" He teases.

"Wouldn't you wish to know." I laugh, shoving my shoulder against his.

"Well I tell the guys I think the world of you." Eddie smiles knowingly, connecting my hand with his.

--------------

Girls night has been a on full spring, El and Max shoving Chinese takeout into my hands as soon as I walked through the door. We watched some movies we all brought since we couldn't check out movies from Family Video after it had been destroyed. We also painted our nails, and even convinced El to let me pierce her ears after watching Grease.

It had been a fun night so far. Which is why at 1 am when we ended up laying around the living room, I knew it was far from over as our monthly talk was executed.

As always Max started the conversation, turning towards Nancy.

"Okay, so Nancy we need to know. How is it with Jonathan being back?" Max asks innocently, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth, watching as Nancy smiles. "Leaving your bedside drawer alone now?" Max continues, getting straight to business as Nancy's eyes widen while her face goes red.

I laugh, as Nancy gasped.

"Max," She laughed nervously, tossing some popcorn at her. Giggling, Max puts her hands up in defense.

"Hey, were were all thinking it." Max shrugs as Robin chuckles at the sight.

"You still didn't answer her question Wheeler." Robin smirks making Nancy glow more as she pushes her hair off her shoulder nervously.

"It's uh- um been nice." Nancy admits, "And yes, I've-um been leaving my bedside drawer alone more often now." She said sheepishly, bringing her hands to her face as we all erupted in a howl to her response.

Still giggling Max turns towards me, still wanting to start off tonight's talk headstrong. I raise my eyebrow at her in challenge as she grins in acceptance.

"Now enough about Nancy, how about you (Y/N). Have you found someone to take place of the box in your closet?" She questions, making all the girls turn towards me.  I shake my head, popping a few M&Ms into my mouth.

"I think you need to stop snooping through our rooms and take a look under your boyfriend's bed." I laugh, leaning back into the couch.

"Erica has said some things." I tell her as she shakes her head in disgust.

"Uh gross, I don't care to know what boys look at. They go feral over a piece of bread." Max shudders. Making us all snicker at her sudden repulsion.

"But let's be real, has anyone caught your eye yet?" Robin continues for Max, making eye contact with me. As I shake my head, shrugging.

"I'm just not looking to get into a new relationship." I admit, telling partially the truth. El furrows her eyebrows at me.

"Don't you want to be happy?" El asks, making me shake my head at what this poor girl has been taught.

"You don't need someone to be happy, and my box in my closet takes care of me very well." I tell them, pointing at the other three. They all share a glance before Nancy turns back towards me.

"You know who I think would be okay with your box?" Nancy says, making me hum in response as she gains confidence.

"Eddie." She smirks as Robin claps in excitement.

"Oh yes defiantly! Remember when we were in his room and saw the handcuffs on his wall!" Robin reminds Nancy. Causing Max to smile in response.

"He defiantly is a freak for reasons people don't know." Max nods as the older girls nod in agreement. Poor El looked confused, not understanding how far sex can actually go.

"Why would he have handcuffs in his room? He's not a police officer." El asks, causing all of us to laugh nervously.

"That's a conversation for another day honey." I tell her as she nods, understanding I'll explain it to her a different day. I was trying to not let my face redden at the conversation at hand, because I had defiantly used those handcuffs on multiple occasions; on me and Eddie.

"I still haven't heard a no, have you ladies?" Robin raises a eyebrow, glancing at the girls.

"I have not either Robin." Nancy agrees as all their eyes go back on me causing me to laugh lightly.

"Eddie is just a friend." I lie causing all of them to roll their eyes.

"So was Jonathan." Nancy states.

"And so was Lucas." Max reminds, making me feel defensive.

"That doesn't mean me and Eddie are going to become anything." I point out.

"But he likes you." El states, not understanding why we wouldn't date each other.

"What?" I choke on my drink, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"He likes you, I can tell." She tells me.

"He most defiantly likes you." Nancy agrees.

"And you like him too." El points out.

"I don't think you guys know what you're seeing." I roll my eyes, throat starting to tighten under the pressure of the girls.

"(Y/N) will you please just admit you're into him." Robin begs. As Max fights herself on sharing a piece of information, before deciding to share it with the room.

"You're over there almost every night for some reason." Max speaks up.

"You pay attention to when I'm over there?" I look at her, raising an eyebrow.

Eddie's home hadn't been the only one available in the neighborhood he moved to, just like his trailer wasn't the only one to get ruined. Max once again had became his neighbor as her mom had to find a new place to live.

"Funny enough the nights you aren't there, Eddie doesn't seem to be home either." Max smirks, knowing she connected the dots a few months ago as the girls soak up the information.

Nancy's face lights up as she realizes what she just heard.

"OH MY GOD." She says sitting up, slamming her hands on the floor.

"OH MY GOD!" She squeals, "You two are already dating!" She points at me as my face turns red, not knowing how I could get out of this.

Everyone jumps up slightly at my face turning red. Sighing, I pick up a Twizzler.

"You can't tell anyone." I point it at them as they scream. After everyone calms down Max leans forward.

"So does he really live up to the freak title?" Max asks, causing a laugh to escape my lips.

------

Eddie's P.O.V

Instead of being in bed with (Y/N), I'm stuck here listening to Dustin give Steve Harrington love advice. Not that I don't find it amusing that King Steve is now needing a 15 year old to tell him what to do to find a girlfriend.

"I'm telling you that you need to find your Suzie dude." Dustin tells Steve while all of us guys lay in different parts of the living room. Steve looked annoyed with the young boy, wondering why he always felt the need to help him.

"How come you don't bug Eddie on finding his Suzie." Steve says defensively, wanting not to the the topic of conversation.

Curiously I glanced at Dustin, wondering why I haven't heard him bug me on finding someone for a few months actually.

Anyone could tell that Steve's words had taken Dustin aback especially by the way Dustin goes to speak and then pauses for a second when he realized all the eyes were on him. Putting his hands up in defense he goes to speak.

"Okay it's not my place, but I think Eddie has already found his Suzie." Dustin tells us, making my throat turn dry.

"What do you mean?" I ask, rubbing my neck slightly. Dustin turns to me, raising an eyebrow.

"I mean, I hear you sneak into my sister's room every other night." Dustin reveals, causing everyone to gasp. "My mom might be deaf but I'm not, and those walls are thin." He tells me.

"Hell yeah man, you found the girl of you dreams. Good for you dude." Argyle smiles, lifting a his drink at me in cheers. While I nod, before turning to Dustin.

"Dustin I don't know who you're hearing but it's not me." I shrug, trying to keep my cool as the boy rolls his eyes.

"How many other people roll up listening to heavy metal? Plus you park right down my alley." He tells me. "Also, I'm not stupid." The younger brother reminds me.

"I park down your alley at midnight, why are you out at midnight?" I question him, leaning towards him.  

"Why are you down my alley if you're not dating my sister?" He challenges, leaning forward as well.

"Hold up, hold up. You're telling me Munson here is screwing Henderson?" Steve asks. "How the hell did that happen?" Causing a chuckle to escape my lips, I always knew he had a thing for her, it's probably why he was nice to Dustin in the first place.

I watch as Dustin physically gags.

"Ew dude, don't say that. She's still my sister." He shakes in disgust.

"Well it sounds like you've been listening to it for a few months." I laugh, pulling my beer up to my lips.

"They make Walkman's for a reason." Dustin shivers.

While everyone else caught onto the words that just left my mouth.  

"Months?" Mike and Lucas's eye's widen.

"Months," I nod.

"Now that's not fair, I thought she was off limits." Steve shakes his head in annoyance.

"She was supposed to be, but it looks like someone didn't listen." Dustin eyes me, causing a chuckle to escape my lips.

"Okay, to end on a serious note. I am going to need you guys to not say anything because your sister will kill me if she knew I told." I explain to them.

-----

Thank you!

[cherrylite17]

nom yen and its place in BLs

Good morning/evening/night to all of you where ever you are.

Today I am going to make the most obvious point and realization ever. This point has probably been made a million times over before and yet here I am to make it once again.

I recently had the opportunity to try nom yen. I live in [NOT THAILAND] and finding sala syrup was really hard for me and I did NOT want to give money to amazon (especially not upwards of 30 dollars). But anyway, recently I found sala syrup in a corner store near me and I tried making nom yen (I didn't use any recipe because they all seemed to be pretty different and used no formal measurements so it was just sala syrup, condensed milk, 2% milk and my heart).

I tried it and....... it's not as sweet as I had been expecting it to be. I mean I have a bit of a sweet tooth but the way this drink was talked about in all the shows I had seen it in I was expecting it to be super duper sweet. I mean, it was for sure a sweet drink but whatever, that's not the point of this post

as the title says I wanted to talk about nom yen and its place in BL. More specifically I am going to talk about SOTUS solely because I can not, for the life of me, remember what other show it was featured in to the extent that it was in SOTUS (i swear theres another character that had Arthit levels of obsession with the drink but I CAN'T REMEMBER!!!!!!! UHGHGHHHH)

Anyway, in SOTUS we are introduced to Arthit, the LITERAL ASS OF AN UPPER YEAR (arguably not the meanest upper year but shhhhh) who can't help but be mean to Kongpob and his friends. And well, obviously the freshmen see him as a huge dick. And he does have to uphold this image (duh) but he does drop it occasionally.

When they run into each other for the first time (OUTSIDE OF THE SCHOOL AND ALONE) guess what GUESS WHAT!!! THATS RIGHT, ARTHIT GETS A NOM YEN. At first, we see him try to play off this drink, I mean he's embarrassed that he's getting this "childish sweet drink" he's supposed to be this evil manly mean guy.

HELL even kong mentions how it's "interesting that a hazer like [him] likes to drink nom yen" AND ARTHIT DOESN'T LEAVE THE DRINK WHEN HE LEAVES (which like always happens in BL) HE TAKES THE DRINK!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO LEAVE THAT PART OF HIM OUT IN THE OPEN!!! HE NEED TO HIDE IT. (yes i am maybe reaching)

Anyway, we see this evil mean guy drinking a SWEET CHILDISH DRINK. ARTHIT IS A HUMAN!! HE IS MORE THAN THIS EVIL HAZER!! and like, this is even more so true because when he gets sick he ASKS HIS FRIEND, WITH NO SHAME (i haven't watched the show in a while so maybe there was some shame), TO GET HIM A NOM YEN. and then he sees kong getting him the drink instead and EMBARASSED, TRYING TO HIDE IT. LIKE HE DOESN'T CARE THAT HIS FRIENDS KNOW THAT HE IS A NORMAL AND SOMETIMES SWEET AND NICE GUY BUT THE FRESHMEN???? THEY CAN'T KNOW

because, like I said, I tried the drink, it really isn't that sweet. But they keep bringing up how sweet and childish it (the drink is). Why would they mention all that constantly if not to make a point about arthit?

The nom yen is more than just nom yen, it is his inner self (omg im so uh smart or whatever)

Anyway out of fear of this getting too long and me making less sense than I already do, I am going to end it here lol :3

TL;DR: nom yen is a narrative device used to humanize arthit

Also, keep an eye out maybe for more of my thoughts on show episodes as I am watching perfect 10 liners right now (like it so far but thats probably just book and force) and I want to watch pluto too but who knows

(ALSO I FINALLY FINISHED LAST TWILIGHT AND I CRIED LIKE MANY TIMES OVER (I had like 3 or 4 episodes left and i couldn't bring myself to finish it because of uhhh reasons and I CRIED instead) i also finished a boss and a babe (i had like 9 episodes) i also started and finished be my favourite and i liked that too (i was not expecting to) but those three shows are neither here nor there i suppose)

[naometry]

Hell yeah two stars thank you calm!!

Predictable as I am, both scenes are from Knight of Pentacles, King of Spades. This ended up a little too big so I'm putting it under the cut.

⭐️ - Chapter 9

I have three favorite scenes, and this is one of them. Perhaps it's the favorite. I don't know. What matters is how I am really proud of how it came out, of Shido's mannerisms, Akira's defiance and, of course, Goro's horror—and, at a later date, him confessing he feels jealous of how it's Shido's brand on Akira's back. It's the equivalent of Knight's interrogation room. Anyway, what I want to talk about is how this entire scene was supposed to be wildly different. At first, the idea was for Goro to be more than happy to bear the shit out of Akira and break a few of his ribs. The moment the entire thing ended and Goro dragged Akira to his room they were going to have a really wild night of hate sex and more or less make up. Then I watched Hannibal. This scene awakened something and I just. Had to do something of my own like this. It was a need. Therefore, I wrote this scene. A fun fact: I'm not sure if this changed or not, as it has been a few years since I was last involved with farming work but Brazilian laws dictated you need to brand your cattle. The placement options are: shoulder, hind legs, or face. Branding Akira's face felt too much, his ass a little tasteless so between his shoulder blades sounded perfect. Marie's castle in Tactica gave me SO much validation btw. I also really like Goro's progression here, and how this is his turning point. It's a very, very rude awakening. He goes from his father's ruthless living weapon, reveling in battle and bloodshed (mostly because he isn't entirely sure of how to separate feels good from this hurts and I like to fight, I don't like to kill.) I just think character progress and development are very neat! In case you don't know what scene I'm talking about, here you go:

I think I already said this a million times but I think this particular post by Maggie Stiefvater pretty much defines my creation process. It's stealing the energy of things I like, scenes that left big impressions on me, or even events other creators constructed that I want to make my own version of. I really like the idea of Goro not coming out of the engine room unscathed so it seemed like a great opportunity to put it in practice. I took inspiration from many, many places for this scene so here are some of them:

Dimitri Alexandre Blayddid

I lost count of how many times I mixed Goro fanart with Dimitri fanart (and vice-versa) This fanart made my brain go BRRRRRR at such high frequency I immediately knew how I wanted to write Knight's climax.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

As you might have guessed, I'm a bookworm. For you to understand how much, I first read the Narnia Chronicles I was around...9? 10? I read them before the movies came out. Goro and Shido's duel was inspired by two things: Goro's canonical need to prove himself and humiliate Shido publicly and Peter vs Miraz. Now, in the books their duel isn't nearly as well written nor as well choreographed as the movie one is so it was kinda whatever but the movie. Oooh the movie. At the tender age of 12 it was simply wild to me that a defeated enemy who already yielded could commit treachery. I mean, it wasn't Miraz himself who did but still. Wild. Wild, I'm telling you.

This is the scene I am talking about. I couldn't find it in English tho. Sorry about that.

Dragons of Autumn Twilight: The Dragonlance Chronicles by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman

"What remained of Riverwind no longer resembled anything human. The man's flesh had been seared from his body. The white of bone was clearly visible where skin and muscle had melted from his arms. His eyes ran like jelly down the fleshless, cadaverous cheeks. His mouth gaped open in a silent scream. His ribcage lay exposed, hunks of flesh and charred cloth clinging to the bones. But-most horrible-

the flesh on his torso had been burned away, leaving the organs exposed, pulsing red in the garish red moonlight." 

I first read this collection when I was around...12? 13? Maybe 14? and this scene left SUCH a big impression on me I still think about it years later. The description is so wildly visceral that it still inspires how I write violence to this day (and probably will continue to do so many years after. I really wanted to write something that not only evoked the same sensations but also remained faithful to the imagery it created in my mind. I hope I succeeded. (I also did a lot of research on what it happens when you puncture an eye, by the way!)

Chronicles of the Emerged World trilogy by Licia Troisi

Now, this one is a little more broad than the others. I really like Licia Troisi's books. Her worldbuilding is impeccable, her characters are amazing and her plots are always very solid. Peak, honestly. Anyway, there's a character named Ido who loses his eye in a horrific battle and he simply does not recover. I mean, he does but it isn't like...boom, eyepatch be upon thee and you have a badass scar and some sexy eyepatch now. He goes through a long, long, long recovery period and it's amazing to read. I enjoyed his journey and character arc a lot. I wrote Goro losing his eye also thinking about how I wanted Vexed to go: Goro needs a long way to recover and I wanted to challenge myself to write something out of my comfort zone. A disabled character sounded like a great way to do it. I spent much more time pouring over hospital websites, medicine books that might or might not have been pirated, blogs and reddit posts to have not only the (superficial, admittedly, but better than nothing) knowledge of how to write and how people truly feel and live recovering from losing an eye.

And I think that's it!!! Once again thank you very much for the two stars!!

[astrobei]

Hello, I love your fics so much!! I read all of them as soon as they drop and literally reread a handful when I need some extra Byler comfort.

I am currently obsessed with "A Body in Motion." When I tell you chapter 2 destroyed me (in the best way) I mean it 10 million times over haha. I can't wait to for the next chapter!! Obviously this is not to rush you/pressure you!! I just wanted to let you know how much I love it and how well you portray Mike's anxiety (which I think is canon tbh and I don't see enough people write Mike in that way). Idk if you also suffer from anxiety or any kind of panic disorder, but his breakdown in the bathroom was spot on (I have anxiety/frequent panic attacks) and I just couldn't believe how eloquently and accurately you wrote it (anxiety is usually portrayed in fics poorly, and it's almost always through Will). Mike trying to isolate so as *not* to have a panic attack in Will's presence was key to the accuracy, his thought process in that moment was sad but very accurate. Will comforting him by being the grounding tether for Mike...Mike feeling his heartbeat and his little "Oh God" and falling into Will... literally some tears were shed because UGHHH it that whole scene was so good. Literally could go on all day.

Anyway, you're an amazing writer! ❤ That's all!

ok so first of all i need to get this out there that i read this ask and literally had to read it like 3 times over just to process and i was smiling the whole time bc it is so ! thoughtful ! genuinely genuinely genuinely i am so glad this scene stood out to you as much as it did! it was a large part of why ch2 was so daunting for me to write and also why it took so long, because i was really trying to make sure it was well written and intentional and not rushed or like. cheapened for convenience if that makes sense !! i wrote it based largely on my own experiences with anxiety and panic attacks bc i do in fact deal with both of those things and have for a long time and i was trying to make it as realistic and relatable as possible so i’m so so glad it rang true to you !! i was also so nervous after posting it that people would find it weird or forced or awkward or any combination of those things and just overall was a little anxious about it but it’s been so well received and this is maybe the kindest thing anyone has had to say about it so !! i’m just very <333 🥰 i know everyone’s experiences with it are a little different which is a part of why i was so intimidated by the concept when i first thought of it but it’s also a very deeply personal scene to me bc i was sort of thinking like. what sorts of things would help Me when i’ve gone through it before. like what would i have wanted someone to do and say to me etc etc and just you picking up on details like mike trying to get away before it sets in bc he doesn’t want will to have to see it means the whole entire world to me i’m being so serious ☹️🫂 this got so long but i just wanted to say thank you so much this was so thoughtful and i’ll be thinking about it for forever <3

[koalala700]

Dear Adin,

Letter #3

Getting a message that you almost had your life taken by your psycho brother-in-law right before a hurricane hit was...alarming to say the least. I'm obviously glad you're okay.

Having him reach out apologetic to me and spinning one story to hear another from you where he was talking shit about to present day was, well not unexpected I guess.

Times like this I think of all the times people think I'm not observant or don't pick up on things. Then I remember all the times I haven't liked someone or had a bad feeling about them and was right. I called it years ago that, that mother fucker was bad news.

I don't know why it stung to see the message about him being the one to pull the strings all along but it did. Because I told you this, almost a year ago. I tried to tell you a year ago that what he told you was wrong, that he didn't tell you because he cared. He tore apart our relationship and you chose him.

I was told that's what family does. I was more family to you than he ever was but my word wasn't enough. You let the words of a narcissist color your belief and let that be fuel for you to drive the nail in the coffin of our relationship, instead of doing the one thing I ever wanted you to do: be vulnerable with me.

When I noticed you made posts about how the loyal one stays single and the unloyal one jumps into a new one right away, I couldn't help but be struck by the irony after being told that you were dating a girl 10 years MY junior that is a stripper. After being told it's this toxic on again off again relationship.

Meanwhile, here I am, having beaten myself up over finding physical solace with other guys. Stopping that and then deciding, as part of my 'heal a little more every day,' to actually try dating. It confuses me, it scares the hell out of me. To have feelings for someone like I did for you, to ever be able to say that dreaded 'l' word again.

It's hard that you check in on me and I immediately fall into such an easy routine of communicating with you only for you to stop it by reading the message and refusing to respond. I know why.. but still, it's hard.

And what am I supposed to say? You told me that YOU wanted to move forward, that you were ready to.

I know a lot of things could have gone differently. I know I've thought of a million different what-if scenarios where we didn't end up like this. But we did.

Maybe I'm just struggling a little more lately because a day that once meant everything is now another day to me. Maybe it's hard because I miss the depth of what we had. Maybe it's because I'm scared of this new thing I'm starting with someone, scared of it ending worse than we did. And I loved you with my whole fucking heart and soul and I'm terrified to feel that feeling with someone that isn't you.

It's getting easier to accept the idea of being alone but it does hurt like fucking hell from time to time. The idea that grief is a ball with a button is such an apt analogy because today, it feels like someone has been playing 'hit the button over with that ball for a week now.'

It'll get easier, I know it will. One day at a time. Breathe and just accept things as they come.

Today it all comes rushing in

Tomorrow I hope it all flows out..

One day at a time

I will move forward, I will move on.

[samadiw]

Knickers - Part 03 - Yellow Knickers 💛

.

Yellow?

Fucking yellow?

She didnt have yellow knickers, she didnt have yellow anything and it wasnt like she could stroll into Hogsmeade and buy a pair.

Hermione pulls out her drawer of knickers, for a girl who didnt get it on much, she had a drawer full of colourful undies, one must always feel good in what covers your twat.

She gingerly picks up a scanty almost see through black pair of knickers, well, they would have to do.

Placing the pair on the bed, she reaches for her wand and waves it over the undergarment, the colour instantly changes from black to dark yellow.

Hermione grins, it looks better than she expected.

H : "Not bad..."

She flops down on the bed and thinks of Malfoy's cock for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

The fucker had no shame in just whipping it out in front of her, his crass boldness turned her on, he didn't care to tip toe around her as if she would shatter into a million pieces.

Her toes curl with wanting, he would widen her nicely, she had always been told she was tight.

Damn that bloody Malfoy cock.

*******

T : "The fuck man."

B : "Don't you get sick of losing?"

T : "You're cheating, I know it."

B : "Its wizards chess, you just suck."

T : "I have to meet Luna but once I'm back, I want a bloody rematch."

B : "Let's make it interesting, care to place a bet?"

T : "10 Galleons?"

B : "My house elf makes 10 times that, you bloody cheapskate."

T : "Later."

B : "Use protection, we don't want crummy chess players being added to the population."

T : "Fuck you, Zabini."

Draco walks in towelling his hair

B : "Ah, want to grab a butter beer?"

D : "Sure, mate."

Throws a bottle at Draco and he catches it expertly.

D : "So, whats the name of the new broad?"

B : "Patil..."

D : "Nice."

B : "Is Weasley still banging Granger?"

D : "Haven't a clue."

B : "She's looking rather fine this year."

Draco tightens his hold on the bottle and takes a long swig.

Blaise didnt know the half of it.

The next morning

T : "Fuck, are you ready to leave?"

D : "Yeah, I've got some, unm...work to do."

What he wanted to do was claim his seat in the Great Hall before someone else did.

B : "Well, I'm ready, I'll come with you, Theo, do hurry up bitch."

T : "Yeah, yeah, I'm hurrying."

They walk into the Great Hall and find it half full.

A bunch of 3rd years are sitting in Draco's usual place.

The blonde towers over the younger students and hisses darkly.

D : "Move, now!"

The adolescent boys trip over themselves in their haste to get up.

"Yes, Mr Malfoy, sir."

"Right away."

"So sorry."

Blaise and Draco slide into the seat.

B : "I think the tall one wet his pants."

D : "Respect, Blaise, must be taught when young."

B : "Theres a fine line between respect and bullying."

D : "Potato, potahto."

B : "Why the fuck do you keep looking at the entrance?"

D : "For Nott, ofcourse."

Blaise raises a brow and grins.

B : "Sure you are..."

Hermione links her arm through Ron's and he whispers a funny joke into her ear, she throws her head back in laughter.

From across the hall she can feel steely grey eyes watching her every movement.

She locks eyes with the ice blonde and bites her lip.

Settling down in her usual spot, Hermione looks at Draco through hooded eyes and challenges him.

Draco smirks, fucking showtime.

He's about to drop something when a voice cuts into his train of thought.

PS : "Mr Malfoy."

Fuck..

D : "Yes, Professor Slughorn?"

PS : "Come with me, boy, I need your rather unique potion making skills."

Come on, no, no...

D : "Now?"

Slughorn raises a brow.

PS : "Yes, now..."

Draco glances at Hermione desperately.

Did the old codger have to fuck up his morning?

Draco weakly protests

D : "But sir, I'm um..hungry."

Hungry for Grangers cunt.

PS : "Now! Before I start deducting points off Slytherin."

The bloody bastard.

Draco gets to his feet

D : "Fine."

Hermione looks on in disappointment, brings her legs together and watches Malfoy trail after Slughorn miserably.

The fuming Slytherin throws a look of annoyance her way before exiting the hall after the potions master.

Draco misses his first two lessons because of Slughorn's potions emergency, he is still at it when his year piles into the classroom.

He wipes his brow and looks up, Hermione grins and pats the seat next to her suggestively.

It wouldn't do to openly sit next to the Gryffindor without a bunch of questions being asked.

Draco coughs to distract everyone else and shakes his head, Hermione frowns, rolls her eyes and pulls out her books.

PS : "Good job, Mr Malfoy."

Draco replies in frustration.

D : "Yeah, no problem, Professor."

He gathers this things and sits next to Theo.

The class drones on and by the end of it Draco has dozed off more than once.

Theo nudges him and hisses.

T : "For fuck sake, get up."

The class ends and the exhausted students leave the dungeons and make their way to lunch before the next round of classes start.

Hermione studiously avoids Draco, she wouldn't go to him, let him come to her.

Refusing to sit with her, who the bloody hell did he think he was?

She steps into the abandoned girls bathroom to fix her hair and wash the tiredness off her face.

It takes but a second.

The door opens, closes with a bang and a heavy firm body presses up against her back.

Shocked at first, Hermione reaches for her wand but she looks up to see Draco grinning smugly at her.

She turns around and shoves him

H : "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

D : "Isn't it obvious?"

H : "This is the girls lavatory."

D : "I'm aware."

H : "Get away from me, you pervert."

D : "I haven't seen your knickers today, Granger."

H : "And you're not going to see them now."

D : "Oh, I beg to differ."

He places firm hands on her waist, lifts her and settles her on the counter.

Hermione lashes out

H : "Have you lost your damn mind?"

Draco winks.

D : "Possibly."

Hermione tries to hop down.

H : "I'm not playing this bloody game."

Draco holds her in place, his long fingers brush gently along her skin and edge upwards.

He pushes up the school skirt so it bunches around her waist and stares at the bright yellow undie hugging her pussy lips, outlining every dip and curve.

Draco swallows hard, up close she looks absolutely breathtaking.

H : "There, you saw them, are you satisfied?"

D : "Immensely, yellow might be my new favourite colour."

H : "Very funny, now let me go."

D : "Not so fast, pet."

He runs a long finger down her material covered slit.

Hermione gasps and a involuntary moan escapes her full lips.

She comes back to her senses and scolds.

H : "Stop it, anyone could walk in."

Draco rolls his eye, waves his wand and distinctive click echoes through the quiet bathroom.

He grins mischievously.

D : "Problem solved."

He continues to rub enticing circles around the flesh of her inner thighs.

D : "I wonder if you taste as good as you look."

H : "You wouldn't..."

D : "Oh, I would and you will love it."

He peels down her panties, leaving a trail of fire where his fingers touch her skin.

Draco puts Hermione smooth legs over his shoulders and bends to give her exposed cunt a quick lick.

Hermione gasps as he delves inside her with the tip of his tongue.

He gives her clit a quick flick and proceeds to eat her out generously.

Holy fuck, was Malfoy licking her cunt?

Oh, so good, so bloody good.

D : "You taste divine, let's see what makes you come."

Hermione's breathing elevates, she surrenders to the blonde licking her to glory.

The noises he makes as he moves his tongue echo in her head and fuel her pending release.

H : "Malfoy...."

D : "Wet, so fucking wet."

They have 4 minutes and 26 seconds before their next class.

Draco figures he needs 3 minutes tops to fuck her with his talented tongue and feel her orgasm on it.

D : "You taste fucking amazing."

He parts her pussy lips with his tongue again and begins to lap at her eager wetness.

Moving slowly, he uses the tip of his tongue to circle her ever receptive bud.

His tongue slips and he's rewarded with a loud moan.

Ah, so that's the spot.

Draco relentlessly tongues Hermione till she squirms.

He wants to look at her, keeping up his ministrations he braved a look at the witch whispering his name.

She was shuddering above him, her body wracked in pleasure.

Head thrown back, wild curls around her face, fuck...she looked stunning.

Her eyes closed, thighs spread wide and hands massaging her breasts and pinching her nipples.

This was a sight he could get used to.

H : "There, oh fuck...don't stop..."

H : "Oh...mm...I'm going to come."

Music to his ears, he takes her swollen bud between his lips and sucks hard.

D : "Let go, baby."

Hermione lets out a cry, grabs a fistful of Draco's hair and comes crashing down around him.

Only after she rode her high and stilled did he wipe her dripping juices off his chin and get to his feet.

H : "Well, that was..."

She hopes off the counter and attempts to stand on wobbly legs.

Draco licks his cum stained lips and grins.

D : "Something else."

H : Yes, something else.

Draco muses .

D: "And we havent even kissed yet."

Post orgasm bliss aside, Hermione asks.

H : "Why didn't you sit next to me? Do you still think me dirty?"

Dirty, was the woman mad? She fucking came in his mouth and he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth.

Draco pulls Hermione close and kisses her.

The kiss is no gentle exchange between lovers, its hard, fast and demanding

He pries her stubborn lips open with his tongue and slips it in to seek the inner sweetness, they grab onto each other fighting for dominance, until, she breaks free and surfaces for air.

Draco nibbles on the heated flesh of her neck and whispers.

D : "That's your cum you taste on my tongue, do you honestly believe your blood status means fuck all to me?"

He places a tender kiss to her lips

D : Actually, I wanted to spare you the embarrassment of mingling with an ex Death Eater.

Hermione shoves him playfully.

H : "Sod it, sit with me tomorrow."

D : "You dig your own grave, Granger."

A distinctive tent decorated Draco's trousers, he cups the bulge and adjusts his painfully hard erection.

H : "Oh, you're still hard, let me..."

D : "We don't have time."

Hermione's face falls in disappointment and Draco smirks.

D : "Don't worry about it, you can make up for it tomorrow."

Draco picks up the discarded yellow knickers and pockets them.

D : "I'm keeping these by the way."

H : "You cant be serious?"

D : "I rather enjoy the thought of you walking about the castle knickerless."

H : "You fucking smug prat."

D : "Blue is my favourite colour, Granger."

Draco lifts the spell and walks out.

Funny, she would've bet her left tit that it was black.

[in-superbloom]

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)

right where you left me: prologue

pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)

warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!

author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)

another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3

credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.

i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚

@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤

i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡

let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡

word count: 4.1k

☆☆☆

Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.

Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.

Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.

Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.

As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).

When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.

Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.

Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?

The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).

Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.

She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.

Alright, someone's in a mood.

Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.

“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.

Still, no reaction.

That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.

When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.

Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.

“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”

Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.

“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.

Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.

“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.

Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.

A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.

“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.

“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.

Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.

While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?

She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.

The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.

She knows what's wrong with it now.

It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.

Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?

☆ ☆ ☆

Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.

The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.

“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.

That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.

It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.

That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.

As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.

While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.

So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.

Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.

He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.

Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.

He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.

Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.

Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.

Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.

Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.

A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.

“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.

Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.

“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.

“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”

Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.

“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”

“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.

“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.

“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”

“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.

“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”

Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.

Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?

Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.

God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.

Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.

Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.

Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.

[armands-eyefuckery]

so I open the ol' evil browser for whatever reason and see an article headline that grabs my attention on the home page

the new york post is, of course, a well known piece of shit Murdoch propaganda outlet parading as journalism, but the headline was innocuous enough and I was interested to see what kind of interview someone might consent to in a position like Joe's, pictured smiling with his big novelty powerball check. I clicked.

I mostly got what I was hoping for, a special interest fluff piece about the small business owner who sold the winning powerball ticket, receiving a 1 million dollar bonus from the powerball people. (also the single winner of the billion[s?] is still anonymous, if anyone cares)

but then…

say what now?

yup

so I scroll back up and see that the source listed before this statement was the Los Angeles Times, so I click that link. there is of course a conspicuous absence of that word in the original source, which states, "The 75-year-old owner of Joe's Service Center, now an ExxonMobil franchise, said he plans on sharing the money with his 11 grandchildren and the rest of his family," which is a completely normal way of saying it

(just checked before posting and as of 00:30 11/10/22 these "typos" have yet to be corrected by the post despite the article having been updated around noon yesterday)

cue wormhole mode. I'm not super well informed about happenings with the powers that be, I admit it (I have a tenuous relationship with knowing stuff. I'm working on it) so I actually ended up reading quite a lot about the Murdochs and their suspected ties to white supremacist organizations… and couldn't find any direct evidence that this specific thing is a known dog whistle but C'MON

so the point is I really, really hope that these people are not targeted by white supremacists just for getting lucky and being public about it, and that people picked up on this and are on high alert

I also did a bit of digging into Joe's famous ex-NFL son-in-law, seeing as he is a POC like Joe, and found that he has gone on the record around the time of the NFL national anthem protests in 2017 as saying, "I have nothing but love and respect for our flag and our country, and for all of the soldiers that put their lives on the line for us, I really respect the national anthem," so one can only hope this sickening fear I feel is wrong.

but I had to get curious and look around to learn that, not necessarily something your average white supremacists post reader would be willing to do when there's all the confirmation they could want right fucking there

[viviennevermillion]

3k followers event: Prompt List

please check the rules before requesting. I look forward to answering your requests! Some of these prompts will include what is written in the brackets behind the titles. For example prompt 2 will center around a sibling relationship. So either platonic!character x reader or if you f.e. request this for just Diluc or Aether it will be about the bond they have with their sibling.

Also I decided to make my Kaveh fic already part of this since it was based on one of the songs on this list

notes: the works will only be centered around these specific lines in this post, not the entire song lyrics

dark content blogs dni

1. Island • Kensington

and I'll be an island and the shore where I stand can't be reached by more than waves; I told my sharks [...] I don't want a flame, I don't want to risk a fire that leaves a toxic waste

2. Brother • Madds Buckley (centered around a sibling relationship)

and I left you alone in a house, not a home, and I watched the burning grow as my hair filled with grey [...] brother I watched the sky burn and all I learnt was smoke fills the lungs like a disease

3. The Way It Was • Cassandra Coleman

if I go on with you by my side, can it be the way it was when we met? did you forget all about those golden nights?

4. Life After You • Daughtry

[Cyno x Reader]

all that I'm after is a life full of laughter as long as I'm laughing with you, and I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after, after the life we've been through; 'cause I know there's no life after you

5. Bed of Roses • Bon Jovi (pining or missing someone)

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses; for tonight I'll sleep on a bed of nails [...] still I run out of time or it's hard to get through till the bird on the wire flies me back to you

6. Bless the Broken Road • Jordan Rust

I set out on a narrow way many years ago hoping I would find true love along the broken road but I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through, I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

7. Lady May • Tyler Childers

I'm a stone's throw from the mill and I'm a good walk to the river; when my working day is over we'll go swim our cares away; put your toes down in the water and a smile across your face and tell me that you love me

8. Heartbreak Century • Sunrise Avenue

it's like we're stressing out to find some peace of mind; it's a story of our time. oh will you stay with me or chase another dream in this heartbreak century?

9. Sink or Swim • Tyrone Wells

hearing the song in your laughter, the melody I chase after, no one else has done this to me, [...] are we going down or will we fly? this could be a shipwreck on the shore or we could sail away forevermore.....this time it's sink or swim

10. False Confidence • Noah Kahan

[Kaveh x Reader]

you're here for a reason but you don't know why, you're split and uneven, your hands to the sky; and I wonder why I tear myself down to be built back up again; oh I hope somehow I'll wake up young again and all that's left of myself: holes in my false confidence

11. The Dreams We Never Lost • Tide Lines

people pray in church on sundays for moments like the day you took my hand; long afternoons we walked along the castle walls and the band played louder as we kissed behind the hall [...] and we'll raise a toast tonight to the dreams we never lost tonight, in your eyes I see the morning as it burns across the sky

12. High Hopes • Panic! At The Disco

had to have high, high hopes for a living; shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing; didn't have a dime but I always had a vision [...] didn't know how but I always had a feeling I was going to be that one in a million

13. Carl • Aeseaes

there will come soft rains in time, when you are grey and older, not a single cloud will know the burdens we have shouldered; earth, if i may, stand on your stage larger than life and life as large as we are; this lonely light looms in the cosmic night, we fell in love and spilled our blood on the pale blue dot

14. Hell And You • Amigo the Devil

but I want to be where all the stupid things I say sounds so romantic and true, 'cause I'd rot in hell with you if you'd just ask me to, I love the shitty things we do together, live with me in this sin forever.

15. All The King's Horses • Karmina

I knock the ice from my bones, try not to feel the cold; caught in the thought of that time when everything was fine; everything was mine; all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put me back together again

16. Embers • The Brevet

was a fragment, not the full, kind of hell bent on being alone until you came in and broke the mold; so come in close to me and let me tell you what it is I see, [...] I just wanna love you like an old romance would do

17. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde • Ezra Furman

now, my tender heart has hardened, I'm taking walks in my dead garden, I'm shooting marbles 'cross the floor in the maintenance closet at the grocery store; in my little black apartment I found love's secret compartment and now, I keep my things inside

18. Feed the Machine • Poor Man's Poison

hey, you, poison the well; watch it all burn, take 'em straight to hell; he's got the whole world in his hands, it was nice to know you, we've all been damned

19. Mad IQ's • I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

paralyzed by the sum of your parts, abstracts with a human heart, captivated but I'm so confused, burning up in your mad IQ

20. Hell's Coming With Me • Poor Man's Poison

I am the righteous hand of God and I am the devil that you forgot and I told you one day you will see that I'll be back I guarantee and that hell's coming with me

21. Bonfire Heart • James Blunt

[Dottore x Reader]

and I've been looking at the stars for a long, long time, I've been putting out fires all my life, everybody wants a flame, they don't want to get burned and today is our turn; days like these lead to nights like this lead to love like ours; you light the spark in my bonfire heart

22. Does Anybody Know • Jade Bird

does anybody know that I'm out here waiting? does anybody know I still call for you? does anybody know there's a soul that needs saving? does anybody know you like I do?

23. Some Kind of Disaster • All Time Low

I'm a liar, I'm a cynic, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint; I'm a loser, I'm a critic, I'm the ghost of my mistakes; and it's all my fault that I'm still the one you want, so what are you after? some kind of disaster?

24. Heaven Knows • Five for Fighting (angst, major character death)

tell me where the good men go before I wash away, walk me down the old brick road so I can die where I met you, hold me like we're going home, turn your tears to rain, bury me beautiful, heaven knows how I loved you

25. Make It To Me • Sam Smith

you're the one designed for me, a distant stranger that I will complete, I know you're out there, we're meant to be; so keep your head up and make it to me

26. Anti-Gravity • RUNAGROUND

in the skeleton closet you'll never know it; the secrets are prisoner inside, kaleidoscope truth from the ones who hold it, keeping the hostage alive [...] but we're anti-gravity lock down humanity, lightning insanity striking inside of me; it's the heartbeat of history

[hookedonapirate]

A Date for the Holidays (and everyday too would be nice)

Summary: Tired of the constant backlash from her family about being single, Emma finds herself striking an arrangement with a roguishly handsome stranger at the mall the day after Christmas. Now she won’t have to be alone for the holidays. Emma and Killian agree to be each other’s dates, no strings attached, no commitment, no pressure. Just two friends getting together to appease her annoying family and get his brother off his back. It’s the perfect setup really...until sticking to the holidays isn’t enough. What happens when they both want more? Holidate AU A/N: So I watched the Holidate the other night and couldn't stop thinking about how much fun it would be to turn this into a CS fic. So here we are. This probably won't be too long, I'll be getting back to my wips soon, just needed a break, but probably 4 or 5 chapters or so. Hope you enjoy! Thank you to the ladies on Discord for your encouragement and enabling ;-) Thank you to the lovely @veryverynotgood for beta reading!

Wow, I really got behind on posting here, I actually have 7 chapters posted and 9 written

Catch up: Ch 1 // Ch 2 // Ch 3 // Ch 4 // Ch 5 // Ch 6 // Ch 7 // Ch 8 // Ch 9 // Ch 10 // Ch 11

Chapter 5

Easter

“So, did you figure out if you two actually slept together?”

Emma’s eyes widen as she looks over at Elsa. “I told you, we didn’t,” she whisper-shouts to her cousin.

After Killian left that morning, Emma was freaking out, thinking maybe, possibly, she did sleep with him, so she called her cousins to vent. She may have insisted nothing happened that night, even though she wasn’t sure. Especially since she found pictures she’d snapped of them the night before—pictures of them kissing at a table at Wild Bull, and an actual kiss on the lips, not cheek-kissing—which must’ve taken place after they both rode the bull. She may have taken a few pregnancy tests just to be sure (which all turned out to be negative) but she refuses to believe anything happened between them. They were both pretty smashed that night, so she thinks they probably kissed, went back to her place planning to have sex and even went as far as to undress, but they were both too tired and ended up passing out on the couch together.

Or at least, that’s what she likes to believe.

“He’s really handsome, by the way,” Anna beams as the three of them watch Killian chase the kids around the backyard, pretending to be a dinosaur. “And he seems to be really good with the children.”

Elsa nods in agreement. “Daisy sure seems to like him, too,” she comments about her ten-year-old daughter.

Emma nurses her coffee so she doesn’t have to respond. Of course she agrees; Killian is gorgeous and he’s amazing with kids and he’s fun to be around, plus he’s not a complete douchebag like Neal, and he most likely wouldn’t break her heart into a million pieces. He’s perfect, actually, but she knows from experience no one is truly perfect.

Everyone has their flaws and their own set of personal baggage, and she knows nothing, and she means nothing, is ever as good as it seems. She’d learned that the hard way more than once. But she’s content with just being friends with him. She’s happy to spend more time with him, regardless of any romantic feelings she may be developing. Every holiday they’ve spent together so far has been significantly more fun than if she’d spent them alone. And for once in her life, her family isn’t trying to set her up with anyone or feeling sorry for her.

If her brother wasn’t at his soon-to-be in-laws' since he and Audrey spent Christmas with his family, he wouldn’t even get to mock Emma for being alone on yet another holiday. Pretending to date Killian has kept even her mother at bay for the moment. She didn’t seem happy when Emma mentioned she was bringing Killian to Easter brunch, but only because she invited her neighbor, Graham, over to the house after the children’s Easter egg hunt.

“Happy Easter, my little bunnies!” Aunt Ruby greets as she enters the backyard, making her appearance in a black playboy bunny costume and long fuzzy ears. “This is Jesús,” she introduces her holidate, who has long, wavy brown hair, a beard and is dressed in all white.

Mary Margaret gasps as she approaches her best friend, gaping at her in horror. “What in God’s name are you wearing?!”

Ruby furrows her brows, not knowing what Mary Margaret’s problem is. “Bunny ears.”

Elsa and Anna are both amused and snorting into their palms, but not really surprised. They leave the picnic table and head toward their children, urging them toward the play castle Kristoff, David and Leo had built for them. Emma’s father is burying his face in his hands at the head of the table as Killian comes over and sits next to Emma, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She leans into him and buries her face in his chest, trying to fight back a laugh at her aunt.

“This is an Easter brunch and there are children here. This is not the time for an inappropriate costume,” Emma’s mother chides Ruby just before someone in a full bunny suit comes hopping toward them.

“Looks like someone else didn’t get the memo,” Emma remarks, taking a sip of her coffee.

The person removes the head to reveal Graham.

Just great.

Emma groans to herself. She can’t believe her mother invited him. Well, actually, she can.

“Graham!” Mary Margaret rushes over to hug him. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Sorry I’m late. I was doing rounds for the kids in the cancer ward.”

“Aww, so sweet.” Emma’s mother nearly swoons.

Ruby, who seems to be taken by him too, walks up to Graham and stops him in his tracks, placing her hand on his chest. “I like a man in fur.”

Emma’s mother pulls him away from her best friend, knowing exactly how she is and how she chews men up and spits them out. “You remember my daughter, Emma,” she says, directing him toward her.

“Hi, of course.” Graham extends his hand, and Emma flashes a polite smile, shaking it. “You’re even prettier in person.”

“Oh...thank you.”

Killian thrusts his hand out to introduce himself to the other man. “I’m Killian. Nice to meet you. Dig the bunny suit.”

“Thank you,” Graham says, shaking his hand.

“I’m sorry, Graham.” Emma’s mother says, apology on her face. “We weren’t expecting Emma to bring a guest.”

Emma plasters on a fake smile. “Oh really? Because I remember explicitly saying I was bringing Killian.”

Sensing the tension in the air, Graham quickly excuses himself from the table. “I’ll just go say hi to the kids.”

Once he’s gone, Emma glares at her mother. “I can’t believe you forgot I was bringing Killian and tried to set me up on Easter…” she gestures toward Graham, whispering, “with a bunny.”

“I wasn’t trying to set you up. He’s our neighbor and didn’t have any plans. I couldn’t not invite him,” her mother explains. She glances between Emma and Killian. “So does this mean you and Killian are a couple now?”

Emma looks at Killian, who gives her a reassuring nod, silently telling her it’s okay to tell Mary Margaret they’re together. Even though they’re not. She turns back to her mother and nods. “Yes, we are. Now can you stop setting me up with Graham...or anyone else for that matter?”

Her mother sighs as if Emma’s asking her to gouge her eyeballs out. “Fine….” She points to Killian. “But I’m expecting grandbabies soon, got it?”

Killian smiles bashfully, his cheeks flushed as he wraps his arm around Emma’s shoulders again. “Of course.”

“Sweetheart, don’t pressure them. They’ll have babies when they’re ready,” David says, getting up and walking over to his wife.

Thankfully, Mary Margaret drops the subject and heads inside the house to bring out the carrot cake she’d baked, her husband following close behind to help.

As soon as she’s out of sight, Emma buries her face in her hands and groans. “I’m so sorry about her. She’s so embarrassing.”

Killian places a reassuring hand on her back and makes soothing circles over her white and red floral dress. “No judgments, remember?”

Emma lifts her head, flashing him a smile, thankful for the first rule of their holiday arrangement. “Thank you.” She rests her head on his shoulder and he plants a kiss on her hair.

“Of course, love.”

~🐇~

When her parents return with the cake and dessert plates, Emma and Killian each take a slice to the castle where Daisy fills three teacups from the teapot, pretending the fruit punch is tea.

“How are things with Levi, the juice box king?” Emma asks with a smile as she drinks her “tea” and recalls sitting next to Daisy at the kids’ table on Christmas, listening as her niece confessed she had a boyfriend who shared his juice box with her everyday during recess.

“We broke up.”

Emma’s smile falls as she sets down her cup. “Aww, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay. He wasn’t ready for a real relationship. I need someone who’s going to put me first.” She shrugs. “Gotta go.” She sets down her teacup and leaves the castle while Emma stares at her admirably.

“Wow, she’s so smart.”

Killian nods in agreement as he looks out the castle doorway and sees Graham passing his bunny head to one of Emma’s nephews and letting him try it on. He’s Anna’s and Kristoff’s kid and is a spitting image of his father, with his shaggy blonde hair and goofy smile.

“The bunny doctor seems nice,” Killian comments, pointing toward him. “Maybe you should go for it.”

Emma gapes at him, raising her brows in surprise as she takes a bite of her cake.

Please tell me he’s not trying to set me up with him too, Emma grumbles inwardly.

“Really?”

Killian shrugs and takes a bite of his own slice. “Why not? Full head of hair…doctor…obviously great with kids…every woman’s dream, right?”

She snorts, shaking her head slightly. “I don’t know…maybe?” She sighs and hangs her head, frowning. “Even if he is, I’m not ready.”

“It’s been what...almost a year now?”

Emma snaps her head up, throwing him a glare. “So? Women process heartbreak differently. We need time. You just dump us and move on.” Emma rolls her eyes, taking another sip of her drink.

“Oi, women can be just as brutal, trust me.”

Emma tilts her head doubtfully.

“I know plenty of blokes who had their hearts crushed by some lass who pretended to care about them…who pretended to like his friends…and was interested in his hobbies like fishing...and cricket...” Emma raises her brows, quickly realizing he’s not talking about his friends or guys in general, but rather his own personal experience with a woman who broke his heart. “And she even went as far as to fill his bathroom with all her girly crap and hide bobby pins in the strangest of places.” His voice grows louder as the topic riles him up a bit. “And then one day…without warning…the bathroom’s cleared out, Milah changed her phone number and snuck out of my flat with a panini maker.”

Emma would have laughed at Killian’s slip-up if she didn’t feel bad for him. She knows exactly how it feels to think you’re in a relationship for the long haul and then suddenly find out how wrong you were. It definitely hardens you.

“A fucking panini maker,” he repeats in a whisper.

“Well…” Emma tries to think of something comforting to say. “Panini makers are expensive.” As if that’s supposed to make him feel better.

He nods and offers a sarcastic smile as he jabs a finger at his chest. “Oh, I know. I paid for it.”

Silence fills the castle as they return to their cake. Emma’s heart sinks as she thinks about what Killian just told her. She’d suspected some woman broke his heart, but he’d never mentioned it before now. And she can’t understand why someone would do that to Killian. He may not be a doctor like Graham, but he’s still perfect, from what she knows about him.

She wants so badly to let her walls down—to let him in. If only it were as easy for her as it is for the rest of her family.

Her dad and brother love him, probably more than they love Emma, her mother is happy thinking he will knock Emma up in the future and her cousins think he’s a great guy. Which he is. And having her family accept him doesn’t exactly help Emma reign in her feelings for him.

Not at all.

Which means she’s completely screwed.

And not the good kind of screwed she thought she might have been on St. Patty’s Day. No, the kind of screwed that might lead to her heart getting shattered into a million pieces again.

[monsoonblooms12]

Christmas with the Waverleys ❄️: Part I

A/N: Hi, how is everyone doing💫💛? So I really wanted to do something for the Holidays and this is what I came up with. Writing this was a really joyful process, so I really hope that this brings a smile on your face💛 

If you enjoyed the story, please like, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going 💕

Thank you so very much @caseyvalentineramsey for prereading and @jamespotterthefirst for prereading and helping me up with the editing. You guys are life-savers and I love you💛💛

Characters: For this part, the characters are my OH MC(Dr. Pooja Sharma) and OH F!OC (Dr. Alexandra Walton)

Word Count: 1467

Rating: General

Prompts :-

CFWC(@choicesficwriterscreations) Winter Season Prompt #6: Character A doesn’t like the holidays. B loves it. Will B try to find out why or convince A to celebrate it?

@wackydrabbles #74 (Will appear in bold): What do you want me to say?

@choicesdecemberchallenge​ Day 23: Friendship

December 23rd

The riffling of sheets, concomitant typing on the keyboard and the gentle tapping of a blue ballpoint pen.

Aha! Here it is!

The dainty curling up of her lips purported that her quest had been prosperous.

The young girl let down her brunette hair as the muffled voices of Boston's December traffic infiltrating the quiet beige Living room subserved as a token of the celebratory season.

With balmy footfalls, she went to the bay windows of her residence, moving the white satin draperies and looked down to the provocative streets.

Festivals. Gaieties. They were not her thing.

For her, they were needless gatherings, wastage of capital and time.

Christmas, New Year, never held much of a significance in her life.

No matter how much she relished seeing all the people fortified with holiday disposition, she never aspired to be one of them.

Engrossed in thoughts, she nearly plummeted at the unforeseen chime of the doorbell.

A deep breath.

Another one.

And another.

And the abrupt adrenaline rush faded past as she reacquired her equanimity.

An agile glance at the wooden digital timekeeper on the davenport told her that it was 10:30 in the morning.

Mmm-hmm.

An unlikely time for someone to visit.

Must be some parcel posts.

Moving to the door, she clemently swivelled the knob and-

"LEX!"

"Poo?"

Alex was comprehensively purblind as to why Pooja would have come here at 10:30 am, groomed as if she was the anthropomorphism of celebratory spirit.

Not acknowledging her interrogating glimpses, Pooja went inside. Alex accompanied.

And then, Pooja's eyes fell on the vademecum and jotter sitting on the settee.

Hmmm, so they are my rivals.

"Poo? What's the matter? Has something goofed?"

Alex still had no ounce of idea about all that was transpiring.

"IS SOMETHING WRONG? Lex, EVERYTHING IS WRONG!"

Pooja roared as she denoted towards the current occupants of the couch.

"What is wrong with my manual?"

"Lex, ITS CHRISTMASTIDE! You, sitting here and swotting is Inequity!"

"Poo-"

Pooja held up a hand to prevent her from proceeding further. She knew unequivocally what Lex was going to utter. That she shunned celebrations. All this was a waste and the record of criticisms moving on & on.

She had endured her overtures the prevenient time.

But this time? This time, circumstances would change. Alexandra Walton would be carousing Christmas, no matter how absurd it appeared.

"Lex. I understand, okay. I know you loathe fiestas. But-"

"Now don't begin convincing me and convert to a walking, talking book of 101 reasons to savour festivities."

Nah.

This wasn't going to work. Even if she convinced her, she knew better that she would not heed in.

So, what to do now? Hmmm…

Pooja's mind went back to the discussion she had the previous night.

"Are you kidding me?"

"Of course not! Look!"

The Portrayal of Numerous ocular evidence of the case were placed in front of her.

"So, you're stating that she is here, in Boston and that all this is gonna work?"

"Exactly! Believe me, Poo, you will not regret it. Just give it a try!"

This was the only alternative. She ought to do it. It seems implausible, but the stuff she saw with her optics, felt versus her skin, couldn't be a deceit, could it?

"I need a promise."

"Promise? Wow! What a marvellous way of pressuring me into all this."

Alex substantially scoffed. Pooja lightly smacked her forehead.

"Why did you do it?"

Alex produced a perfect faux crybaby face as she tended to her point of the hit.

"You killed my Lil Lil forehead cells!"

Pooja scarcely restrained her chuckle as she set up the stern big-sister facade,

"Just shut up and listen first. I demand you to promise me that you will go with me somewhere on Christmas Eve."

"On a voyage?"

"No, bimbo! To meet someone."

A pouty face followed. But Pooja's glare was enough to make her regress and concede.

"Fine, Promise. But don't you dare pull me to a holiday funfair. Remember, I can bite."

Alex responded as she unveiled her teeth.

"You won't have to stoop that low" Pooja affirmed while stifling a hearty guffaw.

December 24th

"Are you going to tell me where you are taking me?" Vexation grazed Alex's features.

But her irritation was Pooja's gold. It was one of her reactions which made her laugh hysterically.

"If I die, I will spook you until I am served with 12 boxes of extravagant Walter's White and Pink Chocolate because you are making me do THIS." Alex pointed at the two of them.

"Which, I should make it clear, you won't get. 'Cause you won't die. Also, If means?"

"No, like I mean, subsequently we all will die, but before that, we will become top tier doctors, make millions, eat chocolates."

"We will get husbands" Pooja added to the list.

"They will die"

This earned Alex a scowl from her best friend.

"Then we would be sitting in our opulent houses and would be promoting golden dentures on our Pictogram."

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"And then we will die. We will be in heaven and do the Hippity-Hop dance with our already-in-heaven husbands", And the two of them laughed like crazy. Passers-by gave them side glances, most of them presuming they both had gone mad, but the two couldn't bother less.

After a little while, they reached in front of a modest house. Entering through the small copper-coloured gate, they peered around.

It posed an explicit opposition to the modern peculiarities of Boston. The place was serene. The garden surrounding the humble stone-exterior dwelling was immaculate and well-kept. The two of them went towards the white gate and pressed the doorbell.

Seconds later, an elderly lady opened the door.

"Hi, I am Pooja. And this is Alexandra" She introduced the two of them.

"Of course, please get in sweetheart. I have been expecting you." The lady gave a friendly smile and motioned the two of them to come in.

While entering, Alex tugged at Pooja's sleeve, dragging her back.

Keeping her voice as faint as plausible, she spoke, "Why did you bring me here? To discover how to make gingerbread?"

Pooja almost let out a tee-hee and gave her a warning look.

"What do you want me to say? You dragged me out of my cozy blanket and summery dreams to learn how to make gingerbread!"

Lightly hitting Alex's forehead, she jokingly admonished "Shut up Lex! Just wait and watch."

And then they followed the lady to a dim room.

In the core of the room, stood a circle table, encompassing which, three obsolescent chairs were orderly arranged.

Several aromatic candles blazed the shadowy nooks. Various shelves positioned on the walls with articles they couldn't recognize due to the gloom.

They were motioned to take a seat on the chairs.

"So, Miss Pooja! I am so overwhelmed to have you and your friend with me! I am very certain, that the forthcoming journey will be a once in a lifetime venture." The lady's grin revealed two blank spaces in her teeth.

"You have planned everything for us?" Even though they had talked beforehand, Pooja still felt a bit dubious. What is something went awry?

No. 

She halted the train of thought. What ifs are endless. Trust yourself, everything that happens will be for the best.

"Yes, dear. Your request was the loveliest. And I have planned to make everything accurate, just the way you want."

At her words, the tension heaving down on Pooja dissipated.

"Now, both of you lay your hands on the table and relax. Don't ask any questions, Don't have any concerns. Just follow my statements and repeat the words I chant after me."

They both followed. Relaxing, for Alex, was hard, but for her twisted sister, she tried her best and finally calmed down.

The lady began. "Relax. All the arrangements are made. I am sending both of you to the Braidwood Manor, where the Waverleys live. You both are getting a chance to experience Christmas as it was celebrated nearly a century and a half ago. You both will reach London in the 1880s. Take a deep breath"

It felt like someone had cast a spell on them. They both followed all the words, all the instructions wordlessly. As said, they took a deep breath.

"Very Good! Now repeat the words after me. Try to remember them. I am sending you both in the past for a day but in case you wanna come back earlier, you will need them"

Then the lady tapped her purple-painted fingernail four times on the table and began, "Zahiri Washiki Ra, Zahiri Washiki Ma, MaRa LaYa Ma."

Both of them repeated. The gloomy room echoed with the words.

ZAHIRI WASHIKI RA, ZAHIRI WASHIKI MA, MARA LAYA MA!

PS: That's all for Christmas with the Waverleys Part 1🧡! Part 2 will be up tomorrow.

If you reached till here, please know that I am truly grateful for you🌟 I wish you nothing but happiness and smiles for the Holidays and the coming year❤

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a great day ahead🧡🧡

[acciocriativity]

The First Meeting ||Harry Potter

Pairing: Harry Potter x You

Summary: Your life takes a 360º turn when you discover that you are a witch and that you are going to study and live in a world completely different from yours. In the midst of so much change, you meet a boy who is feeling the same. 

 

Word Count: 2.4k

N / A: This is the first fanfic that I am posting on Tumblr, so it would be very important to me if you leave your opinion here and also English it's not my first language, if I made a mistake, I'll like to know and correct it.

 The day started rainy, which is not surprising considering that I am in England, more specifically in the city of London. However, I, as an immigrant from hot lands, consider rainy days bad luck, because something always happens wrong. 

And to my despair, today was supposed to be perfect. 

It was only a month ago that I discovered to be a witch and for my happiness, it has nothing to do with pointy noses and pure evil. Apparently the only similarity is the hats, since in the two moments I was around real wizards, I saw several people wearing them.

 My family, for the most part, being a completely devout Catholic, did not accept my new reality so well, not to say it was hell on Earth. In short, if I went, I wouldn't be able to set foot in the house again, as they weren't going to house a sinful witch. 

That bearded gentleman was kind enough to help me find another place to stay, while my parents would think better of it. Although I was unable to thank him or at least speak after being expelled from my home, or old home.

 

I've been staying at the Leaky Cauldron ever since, but because of the latest events in my life, I just went out to buy the materials. Being a witch had cost me a lot and I wasn't ready to face that until yesterday. It took me a long time to decide whether to go to Hogwarts or not, but now the certainty that I made the right choice was growing in my chest. 

 Right after having breakfast at one of the bar tables, I waited seated by the person in charge who would accompany me to Kings Cross station, where I was supposed to catch a train. I knew about it the same day that I discovered the magical world but only today I was anxious for that. I must admit that I imagined that we would fly, obviously all the stories lied to all the non-magical children on Earth.  

A few minutes later, a man in a turban appeared through the door and walked towards me, his expression showing no particular emotion when entering or even seeing me sitting, but what scared me was the fragility and fear in his voice.

- Miss Garcia, good morning, are you ready to leave? - He leaned on one leg while looking around worriedly. 

- Yes sir .. is everything ok ?? The bathroom is on that side - I knew it was inconvenient but I couldn't hold my curiosity as I watched his expression change.

- It will be a short trip but we must go now, to not risk losing the train, let's go - his posture was suddenly rigid and his face looked shaken but this time, I kept my thoughts to myself.

 At least he was kind enough to help me with the two suitcases, which were quite heavy due to the amount of books that were inside, I got some History of Magic extra books to learn more about that world. 

And he was not wrong, the path was fast despite the light rain and wet streets. We didn't talk beyond the formalities, I just found out that he is one of my teachers that year, Professor Quirrel and nothing else.

As soon as my feet took a step into the station, the man said goodbye with a nod and left to go his own way with a weird expression, but I didn't care about that for more than 2 seconds. 

I took a deep breath and started to walk following the small crowd of people who would possibly go to work in another city, since I didn't know the way to the platforms. Honestly, I didn't think it would work until I saw the license plate numbers, and I quickly hurried on, because mine was ahead. 

- 7 ... 8 ... 9 ... 10 ?? - I stopped walking at the same moment I realized that mistake, there was nothing between 9 and 10 - I don't believe it ... 

 I stood leaning against a wall looking around as if looking for someone, but in fact I wanted to find a miracle or at least an angel who could tell me what to do in that situation. 

Millions of thoughts crossed my mind within 2 minutes, most of them negative, until something drew attention out of my despair, or rather, someone. A red hair had just gone through the wall, it was so fast I could hardly believe my own eyes. 

Two more people did the same before I managed to close my mouth and walk over there, in shaky, uncertain steps. They hadn't noticed me and I thanked them mentally for it, because I wouldn't be able to pronounce a single right word. The good news is that they were certainly wizards, by the way they dressed and the most logical conclusion is that they would know the right way. 

 I waited for everyone to cross to get closer to that wall, I couldn't hear the conversation but I noticed that the right way to enter is to run. Again I took a deep breath and looked around to see if anyone was noticing me, with the station full, my answer came as a quick no. 

 I closed my eyes and ran about three short steps until I felt a sensation unlike anything I had felt so far. The stone wall seemed to have turned into a wind wall and I easily managed to get to the other side. I immediately opened my eyes after hearing the sound of a train and when looking to the side, there he was. The Hogwarts Express was written right in front of the locomotive.  

 It only took me 10 seconds to notice the difference, the clothes were definitely different and there was an absurd amount of children and teenagers, as I was walking closer to the train entrance, more people were showing up, in a way I didn't know how to explain.  

 The trip was smooth to Hogwarts, I found an empty car as soon as I arrived but soon the seats were being filled and I ended up sharing my cabin with two more girls, I soon noticed that they were sisters and that was the initial topic of our conversation. They were nice and helped me get into the current context of the wizarding world, explaining the basics about Hogwarts as well. 

- And he's here, the boy who defeated you-know-who's going to study with us! - the oldest of the brunettes spoke excitedly with a huge smile on her face. 

- One of my friends told me earlier that she met him in the hall, what is he like? - the youngest asked even knowing that none of us would know the answer. 

 This topic remained for a while, until they decided to take a walk on the train while I read, enjoying some quiet time. Honestly, I wouldn't like to be in this boy's shoes, not only because of the tragedies in his life, but also because of the amount of attention, comments and theories about him.

But I cannot deny it, I would like to meet him, who would not be curious after everything that was being commented on? 

 People got in and out of the car where I was sitting and I tried to have a decent conversation with everyone, but then when two older students came to tell us that we should change clothes, as we were arriving. I preferred to wait because a hurried crowd of students wanted to go first, so I ended up being one of the last to get dressed, but one of the first to leave the train. 

 All the way the view had been impressive but nothing had prepared me for the vision I had when I approached the lake, where we were supposed to go. It was dark and it wasn't raining, the moonlight reflected on the water of the Black Lake like a mirror and I was almost sad to see that we were going to cross by boat, because that image would be blurry. 

I could only see the outline of the huge castle on the other side, but it was enough to see all the splendor of that place and for a few seconds I was paralyzed absorbing the beauty of everything around me, until a voice brought me to reality. 

- Only 4 people on each boat, kids! - I glanced at the giant man, who was talking animatedly to some students, before I sat down in an empty space.

 As soon as we reached the other side, we gathered in a small group on the castle entrance stairs to hear one of the teachers. I remained behind and silent as I was paying attention, until I saw someone passing by and right after I felt a foot stepping on top of mine for several seconds. 

- Hey! Can't you see I'm here ?? - I said indignantly but as low as possible looking at the red-haired boy beside me.

- I ... I'm sorry, I didn't see you - he replied without even looking at me, his face turning as red as the color of his hair.

 I thought about replying but as the teacher was still talking, I just preferred to nod, accepting the apology. Only then did I realize that I caught the attention of two more students, a curly haired girl who cast a disapproving look at the redhead but smiled at me gently and at another dark haired boy, who noticed my gaze and shifted his look to the other side immediately. 

 It didn't take more than 15 minutes before we were inside that incredible hall, instead of a concrete ceiling just like outside, above my head was the most beautiful starry sky I have ever had the pleasure of seeing, with floating candles to complete the view. To my relief, it didn't seem like a common thing for most first year students, who talked quietly among themselves so I didn't look like an idiot admiring alone. 

We were instructed to stay in a queue, I had no idea what was going to happen so I was distracted looking at the stars, which never seemed so achievable until that moment. I wish I could go up there and take at least one, but it would be impossible. 

 We walked slowly until we stopped in front of the other students, who were spread out over 4 tables, my eyes never left the illuminated sky and as a result, I didn't notice that I was too close to the boy in front of me.

I got my first embarrassing moment of the year in less than 10 minutes, because I stepped on the cover of the boy in front of me. All the consequences of that went by very quickly before my eyes. In a second I was out of balance and fell, but that's not the worst part. I accidentally pulled his cloak back, the boy fell out of balance and fell with me, his back to me. It hurts, too much. No more than the weight of my humiliation and shame, but it still hurts.

 My face took on a pinkish tinge as I silently prayed that no one noticed, but that's not what happened. Today was definitely not my lucky day. I could hear half the room laughing and half whispering, so I knew for sure that I had made a big impression on people and a bigger one on the Hogwarts floor. 

- Sorry ... I was distracted - I spoke as quietly as possible looking at the ceiling and again at him.

 He didn't look at me for more than 2 seconds before looking away in that same direction and back to me again. His nod was minimal but noticeable and he soon stood up, which I had forgotten to do in those few seconds.

 What surprised me more than anything in the last month was his hand extended to help me, it didn't take me long to accept the help and so I got up and straightened my clothes trying not to show shock. This was an act of kindness that I couldn't expect from my brothers, considering how angry they would be in a situation like this, but other than shame, I couldn't see a hint of anger in his green eyes. 

- I'm really sorry ... - I said again, loud enough that only he could hear me. 

 The director had called everyone's attention, so most had stopped laughing although that redhead from before just stopped after the mini punch that the brunette gave him. 

- It's okay, it will just be another reason for people to talk about me behind my back - he gave me another small smile on the side but his tone was not the happiest. 

- And why?? I don't know who you are - I was curious because I had not met anyone important in the magical world until then.

 I could see a flash of surprise in his expression but before he could answer me, the names started to be called and little by little the children walked to the stool, where the hat was placed on their heads. After that he didn't answer me, no one else had the courage to say a word because they were very anxious to get their turn and also curious, like me, to know which house the famous Harry Potter would go to. 

- Potter, Harry - called the teacher with a serious but serene expression and a different look in her eyes. 

 From then on, the students' not-so-low whispers started again and I, who was already at the Hufflepuff table, could only be surprised to notice that the boy I dragged to my shame was actually Harry Potter himself. I didn't have the courage to look at him for more than 5 seconds, because again the embarrassment consumed me but this time harder. I only looked at him again when the Gryffindor table radiated in cheers and laughter as soon as he was drawn there and then our eyes met for the last time that night.

Harry Potter Masterlist

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

[mulanxiaojie]

The high-profile remake, with an all-Asian cast, a PG-13 rating and a politically-charged star, was always going to pose major risks. Then the coronavirus upended its entire release plan.

Liu Yifei, star of Disney's live-action remake of Mulan, lives in Beijing, but she is originally from Wuhan, epicenter of the coronavirus. In January, the 32-year-old actress left China for Los Angeles to begin press for the film, weeks before the virus' outbreak, which has now infected more than 77,000 people, killed more than 2,500 and wreaked havoc in her home country. She says she doesn't have any family or close friends personally affected by the disease — she left Wuhan when she was 10 — but the epidemic has added an impossible-to-foresee variable to her film's March 27 worldwide release.

Liu pauses when asked about the outbreak. "It's really heavy for me to even think about it," she says. "People are doing the right thing. They are being careful for themselves and others. I'm so touched actually to see how they haven't been out for weeks. I'm really hoping for a miracle and that this will just be over soon."

In China, Liu is a household name, nicknamed "Fairy Sister" for her elegance and beauty. Modeling since age 8, she broke out in the 2003 Chinese TV series Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils, a commercial hit in China and the highest-rated Chinese drama in Taiwan at the time, and hasn't stopped working in film and TV since, earning fashion partnerships with Adidas, Shiseido and Armani along the way.

Disney and director Niki Caro selected Liu from more than 1,000 aspirants from around the world to star as Hua Mulan, the Chinese heroine who disguises herself as a man to fight in the Imperial Army in a film carefully designed to appeal to Western and Chinese audiences alike. But now there's a question of when Mulan will be released in China. With the coronavirus shutting down all 70,000 of the country's theaters since Jan. 24, it's unclear — and more unlikely every day — that multiplexes will reopen in time for its planned release. (Several high-profile U.S. films, including Universal's Dolittle and 1917 and Searchlight's Jojo Rabbit, saw their February releases scrapped.) "It certainly has worldwide and global appeal, but there's no denying that this is a very important film for the Chinese market," says Comscore analyst Paul Dergarabedian. "It's a huge blow for Disney if it doesn't release in China." Disney president of production Sean Bailey says he's "looking at it day by day."

Of course, this puts added pressure on the $200 million budgeted film — the priciest of Disney's recent live-action remakes — to perform in the U.S. and the rest of the world. Liu, who is enveloped in her own storm of controversy based on a political social media post about the Hong Kong protests, says she is trying hard not to think about all that. "It would really be a loss for me if I let the pressure overtake my possibilities," says the actress, who learned English when she lived in New York as a child for four years with her mother, a dancer, after her parents' divorce.

Even before the outbreak of the virus, Mulan — the first Disney-branded film with an all-Asian cast and the first to be rated PG-13 (for battle scenes) — would have marked one of the studio's riskiest live-action films to date. While the original 1998 Mulan was a critical and commercial hit, garnering a Golden Globe and Oscar nomination and grossing more than $300 million worldwide ($475 million today), it faltered at the Chinese box office. Part of the reason is that the Chinese government stalled its premiere for nearly a year because of lingering anger over Disney's 1997 release of Kundun, Martin Scorsese's Dalai Lama movie that dealt with China's occupation of Tibet. By the time Mulan reached theaters in late February 1999, most children had returned to school after the Chinese New Year holiday and pirated copies were widely available. For the new film, the plan was to counter piracy by releasing the movie in China the same day as the rest of the world, a strategy that's no longer possible.

The film also has tested the ability and tolerance of Disney — which aims to be ideologically neutral — in managing global political fallout. In August, Liu stirred up a major controversy when she reposted a pro-police comment on Chinese platform Weibo (where she has more than 66 million followers) at the height of the violence in Hong Kong. Her action was seen by critics of the Chinese government as supporting police brutality; soon after, the hashtag #BoycottMulan started trending on Twitter. Liu, who has American co-citizenship from her time in the U.S., was harshly criticized around the world for supporting oppression.

"I think it's obviously a very complicated situation and I'm not an expert," she says now, cautious in the extreme. "I just really hope this gets resolved soon." When pressed, Liu, whose answer seemed rehearsed, declines to say much more, simply repeating, "I think it's just a very sensitive situation." (Bailey also deflects when asked: "Yifei's politics are her own, and we are just focused on the movie and her performance.")

"Most Chinese celebrities choose to avoid posting such political statements because of the risks to their careers internationally," says Dorothy Lau, a professor at the Academy of Film, Hong Kong Baptist University. But though Liu's post drew criticism globally, some experts believe the political drama could actually result in more support for the film in China. "At the time, the government came out in various publications supporting the film very strongly," says USC professor Stanley Rosen, who specializes in Chinese politics and society. "There's a real impetus on the part of the Chinese government to make this work. I'm sure the government is going to try to show that the boycott has had no effect." And while her comment might still anger filmgoers in Hong Kong, where the recent live-action Aladdin took in $8 million, that market is tiny compared to the mainland (total 2019 Hong Kong box office was $245 million compared with China's $9.2 billion). "Most people outside Hong Kong have likely forgotten about this controversy," says Rosen. "But the Chinese government does not forget these things."

The fact that this version of Mulan is a large-scale war epic inspired more by the ancient Chinese ballad than the original animated film may also help win fans in Beijing, but the choice carries its own significant risks: The film needs to satisfy Chinese audiences raised on the legend while not disappointing a generation of fans in Asia (and elsewhere) for whom the animated film is foundational. "People would come in to audition and would say, 'Sorry, I know this is really unprofessional, but before I start, I just want you to know, the animated movie was the first time I saw someone that looked like me speak English in a movie theater,' " says producer Jason Reed. "The stakes couldn't be higher."

Mulan also represents a leap of faith in the film's director, Caro, whose previous two films boasted budgets of about 10 percent of Mulan's (The Zookeeper's Wife and Disney's 2015 sports drama McFarland USA were each in the $20 million to $25 million range). Caro, 53, was not Disney's first choice. Before hiring the New Zealand filmmaker, the studio targeted directors of Asian descent, including Taiwanese Oscar winner Ang Lee (he was busy promoting Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk) and Chinese helmer Jiang Wen. Still, Caro showcased a knack for representing cultures outside of her own with her 2002 debut Whale Rider, which follows a young Maori girl who wants to become chief, a role traditionally reserved for men.

The feminist story of Mulan resonated deeply with Caro. "When I first started wanting to be a filmmaker, there was so little precedent for women doing this [big studio] work," she says. She has now directed the most expensive live-action film by a woman, joining only a handful (Kathryn Bigelow, Ava DuVernay and Patty Jenkins) who have helmed films costing more than $100 million. "Patty changed the game with Wonder Woman. It was like a shot of adrenaline for me as a filmmaker," says Caro, who assembled a mostly female-led crew, including cinematographer Mandy Walker, costume designer Bina Daigeler, makeup designer Denise Kum and first assistant director Liz Tan.

To those still upset that an Asian filmmaker didn't get the job, Caro responds: "Although it's a critically important Chinese story and it's set in Chinese culture and history, there is another culture at play here, which is the culture of Disney, and that the director, whoever they were, needed to be able to handle both — and here I am."

Soon after Caro's hiring, rumors about the movie began to swirl online. Years of studios centering Asian movies around white protagonists (from Scarlett Johansson's Ghost in the Shell to Matt Damon's The Great Wall) meant the threat of whitewashing loomed large. An early report online claimed that the first draft, penned by Elizabeth Martin and Lauren Hynek, featured a white male protagonist.

"This is the first time I've been on a big touchstone movie with the internet what it is today. And I had a Google alert set, so I'd see these things, 'Oh, there was originally a white male lead, or they're casting Jennifer Lawrence,' and they were all just made up," says Reed, who adds that there may have been two non-Chinese characters in the initial script, but both were secondary roles.

The rumors may have been unfounded, but the fallout was real: The Lawrence-as-Mulan story sparked a 2016 petition, "Tell Disney You Don't Want a Whitewashed Mulan!" drawing more than 110,000 signatures.

Ironically, as that rumor swirled, Caro struggled to find an actress to play Mulan. The global hunt began in October 2016, when Caro sent a team of casting directors to each continent and virtually every small village in China. They were looking for an actress who could play Mulan across three phases, from a young woman unsure of her place to a soldier masquerading as a man and, finally, as an empowered warrior. She had to be fluent in English, handle the physical demands of martial arts and deliver the more emotional moments with Mulan's family. "She's a needle in a haystack, but we were going to find her," says Caro. "It's impossible to make this movie without this person."

Though the studio cast a wide multinational net, Bill Kong — a veteran Chinese producer known for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Monster Hunt who was brought on as a producer on Mulan — advised Caro that in order for this film to play well in China, not just anyone of Asian descent would work. "The first thing I told her was, 'Hire a Chinese girl. You can't hire a Japanese girl to do this,' " he says.

Actresses who made it past that initial audition were brought to Los Angeles, but, after vetting several promising candidates for months, Caro decided to start over. (The search dragged on for so long that Disney delayed the original November 2018 release date.) Eventually, Liu, who had been unavailable during the first pass because of a TV show in China, was able to audition.

"I was determined that whoever played Mulan was not going to be fragile and feminine," says Caro. "She had to pass as a man in a man's army." So the director and a trainer put Liu through a 90-minute physical assessment, with extreme cardio and weight exercises. Other actresses fared less well. "Boy, did they flame out," says Caro with a laugh. But Liu "never complained once, never said, 'I can't.' She went to her limits."

With Liu, Disney also found an actress who could speak English, was familiar with martial arts from her TV work in China and, most importantly, was known to the Chinese market.

While Liu spent three months training for the role in New Zealand, Caro finished up her own extensive research. She took multiple trips to China and spoke to dozens of experts — including the world's foremost specialist on Tang dynasty military strategy. She also studied the 360-word Chinese poem The Ballad of Mulan, which first told the young heroine's story. The legend, which originated in the fifth or sixth century CE, is a tale as familiar in China as the story of Joan of Arc or Paul Bunyan in the West, and it's been adapted many times into plays, operas and films.

"I certainly wasn't aware of how deeply important it is to Mainland Chinese — all children are taught it," says Caro. "She is so meaningful that many places I went, people would say, 'Well, she comes from my village.' It was wonderful to feel that profound connection — but also terrifying."

As soon as the first trailers rolled out, so did the grumblings about factual inaccuracy, like the choice to situate Mulan's family in a tulou, a traditional round structure that housed several clans. These homes were mostly present in southern China, in what is now Fujian province (Mulan is said to be from the north), and would not have existed at the time she lived.

"I told [Caro] to not be too concerned about the historical accuracy," says Kong. "Mulan, though very famous, is fictional. She's not a historical person."

Disney tested the film thoroughly with Chinese audiences, including its own local executives. In an early version, Mulan kissed love interest Chen Honghui (Yoson An) on a bridge when they were about to part. "It was very beautiful, but the China office went, 'No, you can't, that doesn't feel right to the Chinese people,' " says Caro. "So we took it out."

Caro and the writers, Amanda Silver and Rick Jaffa (the husband-and-wife team behind Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Jurassic World who rewrote the original script), also had to consider the passionate fans of the 1998 film. Most Disney remakes, like Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and The Lion King, have remained loyal to the tone and structure of the animated source material while adding a new song or character. Departing from that formula wasn't a swift decision. "We had a lot of conversations about it," says Reed. Ultimately they wanted "to tell this story in a way that is more real, more relatable, where we don't have the benefit of the joke to hide behind things that might be uncomfortable and we don't break into song to tell us the subtext."

They swapped the musical numbers and funny animal sidekicks for a large-scale war epic in which Mulan takes her father's place in the Imperial Army. "It's a woman's story that has been told for centuries but never by women, and we felt like it was really time to tell that story," says Silver. The question is whether Generation Z and millennials, who fell in love with these animated tales as kids and helped boost Aladdin to its $1 billion global haul, will embrace the direction. "To be honest, we really go by our gut and what creatively excites the team here," says Bailey. "I think it shows that there can be different approaches to these [movies] that have validity."

When word leaked that Mushu, the silly dragon sidekick (originally voiced by Eddie Murphy), would not be included, some fans expressed disappointment on social media. But the character's disappearance makes sense in the Chinese context. "Mushu was very popular in the U.S., but the Chinese hated it," says Rosen. "This kind of miniature dragon trivialized their culture."

Unlike its Marvel-branded films, Disney live-action movies must appeal to significantly younger audiences. Yet Caro wanted to make a real war movie. "You have to deliver on the war of it," she says, "and how do you do that under the Disney brand where you can't show any violence, gratuitous or otherwise?" She took advantage of the film's stunning locations, like setting a battle sequence in a geothermal valley, where steam could mask the fighting. "Those sequences, I'm proud of them. They're really beautiful and epic — but you can still take kids. No blood is shed. It's not Game of Thrones."

Disney's past live-action performance in China is a mixed bag. Both The Lion King ($120.5 million there) and Jungle Book ($148 million) enjoyed strong showings. Aladdin earned only $53 million, while 2017's Beauty and the Beast took in just $84 million (though it earned $1.3 billion worldwide).

Of course, the expectations for Mulan in China are much higher. "They will eventually release it in China," Dergarabedian notes. "It's just a matter of when and what effect that might have." Some analysts forecast that the film could match the success of the Kung Fu Panda series. The third movie, released in 2016, earned north of $144.2 million and became the country's biggest animated film ever. It was praised for being a Hollywood film that understood and showed respect toward the Chinese culture. Panda, however, had the advantage of being a Chinese co-production, which guarantees a larger share of the market — an advantage Mulan doesn't have.

Caro thinks about the film's fate there in more than simply financial terms. "Of course it's vitally important that it succeeds in China," she says, "because it belongs to China."