#ashton irwin x oc

[malumsmermaid]

I’d Do Anything B.C 10

Hi I’ve been working on this chapter since I adopted Hestia back in like August but work and life and shit has happened. I was going to work on one of my other WIPs but decided to actually finish this one. So...here it is.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: None

Prev.

Calum was spending the afternoon with Michael, having finished up with his work early for once. Before leaving for his friend’s house he had made a good night call to Lily and Ashton, his two partners back in Australia working on a new deal. Calum was supposed to fly out and meet them in a few days-he had just had a few things he needed to wrap up at the office this week before he could join them. He was stressed and worn thin from his projects he’d been working on, as well as the interruptions from their employees-some with reasonable questions and requests-but others just adding to his to-do list. He did his best to push all of that down while he was on the call though, listening to and celebrating their little successes for the day and trying his best to pick out some sort of positive aspect to his day to share. He managed to pick something since they had last called, as well as expanded upon a few of their text conversations over the last couple days. He finally wrapped up their call, ushering his partners off to bed and telling them his plans to meet up with Michael and play a new game.

However, when he got to his friend’s house, it turned out his plan had done a complete 180, from sitting inside on the couch with controllers in hand to walking in the park and talking. Calum ended up doing most of the talking, everything spilling out the second Michael asked about his week. Michael listened intently, his gaze only straying from Calum to check his footing on the path. 

Calum sighed, closing, “And I don’t want to burden Ash and Lil with this when they call. Like, it’s all part of running a company right? Like, especially since they’re having all these little wins and doing some fun stuff out there. Meanwhile I feel like I’m over here taking one step forward and three steps back with all these little side tasks. It’s just easier when they’re here because we can split them up-Lily’s especially good at figuring out where each of us is in our day and which of us, if any of us, is able to carry out that task. And it’s not like I don’t do that, like some of the things I’m like ‘maybe Ashley or Jaime are better people for this particular thing’ and either message them or send that person their way. But at the same time, I don’t want the people who have come to me to feel like I’m dismissing them or pawning the task off to someone else, but like…I’m just one person, y’know?”

Michael nodded, “You know, I’m always here to listen, but Lil and Ash worry about you when they’re away too and can tell when you’re holding stuff like this back.”

Calum hummed, “Yeah, but I don’t want them to feel bad about it or for me or whatever. Like, it’s not their fault that I got this idea for something that, as usual, ended up much larger than I expected and…wait, what made you say that last part?”

“Shit…I uh…fuck…”

“Mikey?”

Michael looked away, scuffing his shoe on the ground, “Lily may have texted me after you guys got off of the phone and mentioned that you seemed off and that she was worried, got the same text from Ashton like two seconds later.”

Michael jumped as Calum let out a laugh. “Can never hide anything from those two, even on the other side of the fucking ocean. To be fair I do feel a lot better now, maybe better than I would’ve just playing that game with you, even if I was really looking forward to it.”

“There’s still plenty of time in the day if we turn back now…” Michael said with a smirk.

Calum nodded, turning around on the path and beginning the trek back to Michael’s car.

As they were walking through the parking lot, a flash of movement between cars caught Calum’s attention. Then it came again, this time rushing across the section of the parking lot they were walking through, from one side to the other. “Kitten,” Calum gasped, just as the animal ran under a car that three people had just gotten into-its engine roaring to life.

Michael gasped too, both men rushing over to the car, trying to get the driver’s attention before they put the car in gear. They must’ve made quite the scene, the woman in the driver’s seat opening her window just a crack to see what the two large men wanted. “A kitten just ran under your car,” Michael explained, trying to catch his breath while Calum ducked under the car’s rear bumper to see where the kitten had gone. It froze and locked eyes with him, in the shadow of one of the front tires.

He started calling to the kitten, tapping at the gravel with his fingers to try and coax it over. Just as he began calling to the little cat, the car’s engine shut off and multiple feet hit the ground around the car. The kitten looked up at the car’s chassis, then around at all the legs surrounding the car before darting towards Calum. He took the kitten in his arms, capturing her and making sure he had a good grip before slowly beginning to wiggle back out from under the car. “Got it,” he grunted as he slowly began to sit up, handing the kitten to Michael so he could get to his feet. All three people from the car began to coo and cheer as they looked at the small animal in Michael’s arms while Calum dusted himself off.

“What now?” Michael questioned, looking at Calum.

“I…I don’t know,” Calum said, watching as the kitten squirmed in Michael’s hold. “I mean, I guess we go to the shelter, make sure she doesn’t belong to anyone?”

“We’re in the middle of a giant park, Cal…” Michael started.

“I know…but I mean, what else? Isn’t that what’s right?”

Michael hummed, conceding, and began to walk towards his car, “There’s one not far from here.”

Calum nodded, following after his friend.

~~~~

“Good afternoon, how can I help you two gentlemen?” Greeted the shelter’s receptionist.

“Yeah, uh, we were just at the park and caught this little kitten in the parking lot as she darted under the vehicle of another visitor who was preparing to leave,” Calum stated as Michael stepped forward, still holding the small cat.

“We just wanted to make sure that she was okay and that there isn’t anyone out there missing her.” Michael explained, holding the cat out for the receptionist to examine.

“Well, it is kitten season,” they replied, smiling as the cat pawed at the air between them, “and this little one looks just old enough to not need mom for food anymore, they probably wandered off on their own and got turned around. But we can definitely put them on stray hold, just in case. Let me just page our cattery attendant to get this little one checked in.”

They grabbed a walkie-talkie from their desk, calling to one of their coworkers elsewhere in the shelter to come up front. Michael and Calum took a seat against the window, Calum reaching over and gently rubbing between the kitten’s ears. The receptionist walked over and handed Calum a clipboard to fill out, a sticker with a series of numbers and letters in the top corner. 

As he finished writing down his information and where they had been when they found the kitten, another person walked through the doorway from the back. She smiled, approaching the two men and greeted them, quietly reaching her hand out to take the kitten from Michael. Michael gave the kitten one last scratch before handing them over to the worker while Calum stood to hand the clipboard back. 

When he turned back he caught sight of Michael staring wistfully through the doorway the kitten had been carried through. He wasn’t the only one to notice either, the receptionist saying, “We’ve had a lot of people bringing kittens in the last few days, you can foster that little one if you’d like.”

Michael immediately brightened, “Can I foster two? So it has a friend?”

Twenty minutes and more paperwork later, they were back in Michael’s car, trunk loaded with kitten food and cat litter, a carrier containing two kittens secure in the backseat. Calum was smiling, listening to the small animals mewling behind him. They were almost back to Michael’s house, when suddenly, next to a strip mall containing a petstore, Michael gasped, “They need toys!” He checked around him before pulling sharply to the right, entering the parking lot.

“I’ll stay in the car with the cats, no going crazy in there, just toys, no furniture unless you’re certain you’re going to keep them.” Calum teased.

Michael parked smiling, “No promises.”

Calum shook his head, watching as his friend hopped out of the car, jogging through the lot.

Not long after Michael had disappeared through the door, Calum felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out, half expecting a text from Michael asking for an opinion, surprised to instead see his girlfriend’s picture on his screen. “Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” he asked as he answered, teasing lilt to his voice.

“I can’t,” Lily whispered, snuggled under a blanket on the couch, “Miss you.”

“Just a few more days and I’ll be there,” Calum tried to reassure, but he could feel his own heart aching.

“I hope I’m not interrupting your afternoon with Mikey…” She started, but was distracted by a loud meow behind Calum, “What’s that?”

“Oh, you’re not interrupting, our afternoon was already interrupted. We found one kitten, and now Michael is fostering two.”

Lily sat up, trying to contain a squeal to not wake their sleeping boyfriend in the other room. Calum grinned, launching into the tale as, as he anticipated, a picture text came from Michael in the background of the call.

~~~~~

As promised, a few days later, Calum strolled into the penthouse apartment in Australia. It had been a long day of travel, made even longer by a maintenance delay in Seoul, leaving Calum pacing the terminal as his gate changed four times before they finally were able to board. He had told Ashton and Lily not to wait up for him, his expected arrival time now closer to 3AM than 9PM and was glad to see that they had heeded him for once. He quietly set his backpack on the table, removed his shoes and quietly made his way to the bedroom. He brushed his teeth and washed his face before shedding the clothing he’d been wearing since the previous morning. 

He smiled sleepily as he looked down at the bed, looking at his two partners. They had clearly been cuddling when they first went to bed, but had since separated, plenty of room between them for him to occupy. He carefully climbed over Ashton, who was facing the doorway, Lily facing the windows. He snuggled under the strewn blankets, pulling both of his partners to his chest. Neither woke, but they did both sigh, cuddling to him. Calum felt a smile on his face, kissing them each gently before closing his own eyes and finding sleep for himself, content to be surrounded by their warmth again.

[lovesosweeet]

better left unsaid // cth

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn't know.

calum x fem!oc

ongoing

word count: 140k+

warnings: mentions of cancer, body image, weight loss. (if you’ve read it and have other things i should add here please tell me!)

read on AO3

chapter zero chapter one chapter two chapter three chapter four chapter five chapter six chapter seven chapter eight chapter nine chapter ten chapter eleven chapter twelve chapter thirteen chapter fourteen chapter fifteen chapter sixteen chapter seventeen chapter eighteen chapter nineteen chapter twenty chapter twenty one chapter twenty two chapter twenty three chapter twenty four chapter twenty five chapter twenty six chapter twenty seven chapter twenty eight chapter twenty nine chapter thirty chapter thirty one chapter thirty two (new 12/4/23) chapter thirty three (new 12/5/23) chapter thirty four (new 12/7/23) chapter thirty five (new 12/8/23) chapter thirty six (new 12/11/23) chapter thirty seven (new 12/11/23) chapter thirty eight (new 12/11/23) chapter thirty nine (new 12/12/23) chapter forty (new 12/12/23) chapter forty one (new 12/13/23) chapter forty two (new 12/13/23) chapter forty three (new 12/22/23) chapter forty four (new 12/27/23) chapter forty five (new 12/27/23)

chapter forty six (new 4/11/24) chapter forty seven (new 4/16/24) chapter forty eight (new 4/18/24)

[michaeladawnxx-blog]

Same Blood, Different Rhythms

Chapter One

Hey everyone, and welcome to this story! I’m really excited to share it with you all. This is a friends-to-lovers story featuring Ashton Irwin and an original character, Michaela. Michaela is an indie pop artist, and while she’s been in Ashton’s life for years, their friendship is about to change in ways neither of them expected.

A little fun fact: Michaela is actually based on myself—so, writing her story has been a really fun and personal experience. I used to write stories on Wattpad when I was younger, and it feels amazing to be back sharing something with you all. This story is filled with emotions, stolen moments, and the struggles of navigating a relationship when the timing feels off.

Thank you so much for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave a comment anytime. I hope you enjoy the story!

word count: 2.8k

warnings: none

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michaela Clifford had spent most of her life being known as Michael’s twin sister. Not younger, not older—just his twin. The second half of a pair. A packaged deal. It wasn’t a bad thing, necessarily. She and Michael had always been close, their bond stitched together with childhood memories of late-night video game marathons, sneaking into concerts they were too young for, and harmonizing to whatever song blasted through their shared, busted-up speakers. But sometimes, it felt like she was just a footnote in his story.

That was, until music changed everything.

Michael had found his path in 5 Seconds of Summer, skyrocketing from a suburban Sydney kid to an international rockstar. Meanwhile, Michaela had carved out her own space in the industry—an indie pop artist with a cult following, known for her dreamy vocals and hauntingly raw lyrics. If Michael was loud guitars and anthemic choruses, Michaela was melancholic synths and whispered confessions. Same blood, different rhythms.

And that difference had never felt more obvious than tonight.

—---------------

The sun filtered softly through the windows of Luke’s house, casting long, warm shadows across the living room. The house was quiet, a calm before the storm of the evening’s performance. Michaela was getting ready for her show later, but for now, she sat casually on the floor, one leg crossed over the other, absorbed in her phone as the others chatted quietly around her.

Her hair, soft brown with natural waves, tumbled freely around her shoulders, catching the light in a way that made it look like it was glowing. Today, it was loose, not styled with any particular effort, and yet it seemed to frame her face perfectly. A few strands had escaped her messy bun, falling gently across her forehead, and Michaela pushed them back behind her ear, revealing the delicate curve of her jaw and the graceful line of her neck.

Her face, beautiful in its simplicity, was framed by the soft light of the room. There were faint freckles across her nose and cheeks, the kind that deepened when she spent time in the sun, but she never bothered to hide them. They added to her effortless charm, making her seem like someone who didn't need to try to be beautiful—she simply was. Her skin had a warm, olive tone, a natural glow that didn’t need makeup to shine. Today, there was only the faintest hint of mascara on her lashes, a touch of lip balm that made her lips look full and soft. She was the picture of understated beauty.

Her eyes, those deep brown eyes, were the centerpiece of her face. They were warm, expressive, and endlessly captivating. Right now, they were focused on her phone, flicking through messages, but when she looked up, it was impossible not to be drawn into their depths. Her gaze had a quiet intensity, as if she was always seeing more than she let on. Whether she was listening to someone else or lost in her own thoughts, her eyes seemed to absorb everything around her, and when she smiled, they lit up, turning her whole face into something unforgettable.

Michaela’s lips were full and natural, their soft pink hue creating a contrast against her skin. Her smile was one of her most captivating features, subtle and knowing, like she held a secret just beneath the surface. She didn’t need to smile wide for it to reach her eyes and make her presence felt in the room. It was a quiet, inviting smile, one that made everyone feel like they were in on something special.

She wore an oversized sweater today, the soft fabric draping over her figure casually, paired with well-worn jeans. Her outfit was nothing extravagant—simple and comfortable, but it only added to the aura of effortless beauty she carried. There was a kind of grace in the way she moved, even when doing something as simple as shifting to make herself more comfortable on the floor. Michaela wasn’t someone who demanded attention, yet she always seemed to have it. She had a quiet confidence, a grounded energy that made her both approachable and undeniably captivating.

Despite the casual atmosphere, there was an undeniable air of purpose about her, something that was always present when she prepared for a performance. The way she carried herself, the way she could settle into a quiet corner or stand at the front of a crowd—it didn’t matter. Michaela seemed to have the ability to adapt to any situation, owning every room she walked into, whether it was on stage or simply sitting here with her friends.

There was a strength in her, one that had nothing to do with appearance but came from the way she held herself in the world. Michaela was grounded in a way that few people could match, and yet there was a softness to her, an openness that made her both approachable and magnetic. She wasn’t the loudest in the room, but when she spoke, everyone listened. Her quiet presence seemed to speak louder than words ever could.

As she shifted to stand, preparing to get ready for her performance, the others around her watched with admiration. Michaela wasn’t just a performer. She was a force, and tonight, she would command the stage with the same effortless confidence that made her unforgettable in any room.

A few hours later..

Michaela paced back and forth in the green room, her fingers toying with the edge of her setlist. She had played dozens of shows before, but tonight felt bigger. More important. Maybe it was because, for the first time in a long time, all four of the boys were here—not as performers, but as her personal cheer squad.

Michael lounged on the couch, scrolling through his phone, but every so often, he shot her a reassuring glance. "You’ve got this, Micki. Stop pacing before you burn a hole in the floor."

Calum leaned against the counter, arms crossed. "She’s just making sure we all feel the tension. It’s very dramatic."

Luke chuckled, tossing a stress ball in the air. "That’s what makes her a great artist, though. She actually cares about the performance."

Michaela groaned, plopping down beside Michael. "You guys are so annoying."

Ashton, who had been quiet up until now, was watching her closely. He was sitting on the armrest of the couch, tapping his fingers against his knee in an unconscious rhythm. "You nervous?" he finally asked, his voice softer than the others'.

Michaela hesitated. "A little. It’s weird having you guys here. Usually, I can pretend I’m just singing to strangers, but now… you’re watching me."

Ashton smirked. "We’ve been watching you for years. This is nothing new."

Calum snickered. "Yeah, especially Ash. I think he might know your setlist better than you do."

Luke grinned. "Might as well make him your backup singer at this point."

Michaela shot them both a glare, but her stomach flipped at their teasing. Ashton, on the other hand, simply raised an eyebrow at them, unimpressed. "Real mature, guys."

Michael rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. Ashton and Micki? That’s ridiculous. He’s practically my brother. That’d be weird."

Calum gave an exaggerated sigh. "Denial is a hell of a drug."

Luke nodded in mock seriousness. "You hate to see it."

Michaela groaned, covering her face. "Can we not make this about me and Ashton? I have an actual concert to do."

Ashton, however, seemed unbothered. He leaned forward slightly, voice just low enough for only her to hear. "But seriously, Micki. You’re gonna be amazing."

She let out a breath, trying not to focus too much on the way his voice sent a shiver down her spine. "Thanks, Ash."

Michael shook his head, muttering, "Unbelievable," as he returned to his phone. But Calum and Luke exchanged knowing looks, grinning like they had just discovered the biggest secret in the universe.

Michaela rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips. The teasing might never stop, but somehow, with all of them here, she felt like she could actually do this.

Ashton leaned against the wall backstage, the hum of the crowd outside filling his ears, but tonight, the energy in the air felt like it was too far away. He should have been excited, should have been pumped for the show, but all he could focus on was Michaela, standing near the side of the stage, adjusting her mic, her eyes darting around like she was double-checking everything. Her focus was intense, but Ashton couldn’t help but notice the subtle fidgeting of her fingers, the way her lips pressed together in that small sign of nerves that only he could read.

It wasn’t the usual pre-show jitters. There was something else in the air between them tonight, something that had started a few years ago, on their first world tour.

At first, Michaela had joined them just to support. She’d always been a part of their crew in some capacity—someone they could count on to bring humor and warmth when the endless days on the road got too draining. But that first world tour… that was when everything changed.

They’d been in a small, dimly lit dressing room between sets. Michaela was there, as usual, offering her quiet support while the rest of the band did their usual pre-show rituals. But that night, as they sat around, talking about the show, Ashton had noticed her in a way he hadn’t before. She was laughing with the crew, her energy light and effortless, and in that moment, she wasn’t just the girl who had always been there for him, who knew every little thing about his life. She was someone different. There was something about the way she carried herself now—more confident, more alive—that had caught him off guard. The people who were around her noticed too.

But it wasn’t just the way she looked that changed everything. It was the way she made him feel.

It was the way, at the end of the show, after they’d all been exhausted and sweaty, she was the first to step forward with a water bottle and a tired grin, offering it to him without any words. Just that soft smile, that one smile that always seemed to melt any frustration. It was in the way she’d stayed late that night with the crew, helping them pack up, not because she had to, but because she genuinely wanted to be there.

And that was when it hit him.

How long had I been feeling like this? He hadn’t asked himself that before, hadn’t put a name to it. But every time he saw Michaela, every time their hands brushed as they walked side by side, his heart beat a little faster. She was so much more than his best friend. She was someone he couldn’t imagine being without.

But he couldn’t admit it—not then, and certainly not now. He’d tried to bury the feelings. She was part of the team, part of the band’s extended family, and his feelings for her would just complicate things. So, he did what he did best—he ignored it, tried to focus on the tour, on the shows, on the fans. But every glance, every moment where their eyes locked across a crowded room or backstage, sent a rush of heat through him, an ache in his chest that he couldn’t shake.

When they got to their next stop, he’d found himself leaning a little closer when they sat together, laughing a little harder at her jokes, his heart racing a little faster when she was near. But what really made him realize how deeply it had affected him was when they had a quiet night off in the middle of the tour. Everyone else had gone to bed early, but Michaela had invited him to join her for a walk. They’d talked for hours—about everything, about nothing—until the moon was high in the sky. And when she’d smiled at him, just a little too close, he could no longer deny it.

This isn’t friendship, he’d thought to himself. This is something else.

But he kept it to himself, because he couldn’t let it go further. He was Ash, the guy who made jokes, the guy who was always there for her, the guy who didn’t want to ruin their easy camaraderie. But now, here they were, backstage again, and it was all too much to ignore.

As he watched her now, fiddling with the mic, her brow furrowed slightly as she prepared for the show, all he could think about was how much he’d fallen for her during that first tour. She’d stood by him, supporting him through every tough show, and yet, it wasn’t until that tour that he truly saw her—not just as the girl he had grown up with, but as someone he wanted by his side. And the deeper his feelings grew, the harder it became to be around her without wishing he could tell her how he felt. How much he wanted to be more than just friends.

But now, all these years later, standing here backstage, he knew he could never admit it. Michaela was still that same person—the one who had always been there for him—but the feelings inside him had changed. They had become something else. Something deeper. And Ashton was afraid to find out what would happen if he said it out loud.

“Hey, Mickey,” Ashton said, trying to keep his voice casual, but failing. He watched her glance over at him, the brief moment of eye contact making his chest tighten. It was all too easy to fall into old habits—old comforts—and for a moment, he let himself enjoy the normalcy of their interaction.

“Hey,” Michaela replied, the word slipping out almost as a breath, as if she were still trying to steady herself. Ashton could see it. He could always see it—how the nerves always crept in just before she took the stage. It made him want to reach out to her, pull her close, but he didn’t. He couldn’t.

“You okay?” he asked, though he instantly regretted it. He was trying not to hover, trying not to make this worse.

She nodded, her lips curling into that tight smile he knew so well. “Yeah. I’ll be fine,” she said, but the tremor in her voice betrayed her.

She’s incredible, Ashton thought, forcing a smile. She always is. She’ll kill it out there. But his heart didn’t calm. Instead, it beat faster as she walked toward the stage, the distance between them suddenly feeling heavier than ever and as he walked to the front row of the show.

The venue was packed, the air electric with anticipation. Michaela had played her fair share of shows, but this one felt different. Maybe it was the fact that the crowd was bigger than ever, or maybe it was the pair of hazel eyes watching her from the side of the stage—eyes she had tried so hard not to fall for.

Ashton Irwin. Drummer. Rockstar. Best friend. And the one person she knew she could never have.

He stood with his arms crossed, his usual confident smirk replaced with something unreadable. He had always been supportive, always cheered her on, but tonight, there was an intensity in his stare that made her fingers tremble against the microphone.

She cleared her throat, gripping the guitar slung over her shoulder. "This next song is called Unsaid," she announced. "I, uh… wrote it about something I couldn’t say out loud."

The words were barely out of her mouth before she realized what a mistake that was. Because now Ashton was paying attention. Really paying attention.

The first chords rang out, delicate and aching, filling the silence. The crowd swayed, caught in the slow pulse of the melody. Michaela closed her eyes as she sang, letting herself drown in the words she had written alone in her apartment at 2 a.m.—words that had spilled out when she couldn’t sleep, when her heart felt too heavy in her chest.

“I could stand right next to you, feel the space like an open wound.You’re close enough to touch, but miles away from mine to lose.”

She didn’t have to look to know Ashton was still watching her. She could feel it. The weight of his stare pressed against her skin, the way it always did when he was deep in thought.

The song carried on, every lyric peeling back the layers she had spent so long trying to keep hidden. By the time she hit the final note, the crowd erupted into cheers, but Michaela barely heard them. Because when she finally dared to lift her gaze, she found Ashton’s eyes locked onto hers.

For the first time, neither of them looked away.

[calpalirwin]

Addicted to Sound

Summary: When a classic violinist clashes with a rock drummer, things are bound to be messy.

Word Count: 2.7k

And away, and away we go!

__

Dean was more than surprised to find a car already in the parking lot of Fowler’s Strings when he arrived. And his surprise turned to curiosity when he didn’t recognize the vehicle despite the man sitting at the wheel looking vaguely familiar. He shook off the feeling, chalking it up to another generic pretty white boy face, slipping back into his normal demeanor. 

The man in the car didn’t move as Dean tucked his motorcycle helmet under his left arm, right hand going for a set of keys clipped to the side of his backpack. Only after Dean unlocked the building to let himself in did the man in the car start to move to get out. 

“Morning, what can I help you with?” Dean called out to the man when he finally made his way inside the building. 

“You’re not Dean Fowler by any chance are you?”

He stiffened ever so slightly as he set his backpack down behind his desk and shrugged off his jacket, draping it over the back of his chair. “That would depend on who’s asking,” Dean answered cautiously. 

The man gave a small, almost apologetic laugh. “Sorry. I, um… my band… well management really…” he loosed a sigh, frustrated with himself for fumbling with words like an idiot. “My band is doing a show, and my management hired your company as part of the vision we had for this show.”

“Ah,” Dean said knowingly. “So you wanted to come and do your own research. Make sure we’re up to your standards.”

“Heh,” the man ducked his head. “Well in part, yes. But also… and I’m aware of how absurd this will sound. But I used to know someone named Dean Fowler back when I was a kid. And part of me is curious if it’s the same Dean Fowler.”

“Well, yes I’m Dean. However, I didn’t grow up here, so I’m sure it’s just a mere coincidence.”

“I didn’t grow up here either. I’m Ashton. Irwin, if that helps jog your memory any.”

Much to Dean’s dismay it did. A flash of a scrawny boy with a straightened blond fringe. Then more flashes, some good, some worse, of memories spent with that boy. Dean blinked, the flashes fading and in its place stood Ashton as he was now. Scrawny frame filled out with broad muscle. Blonde fringe replaced with soft brown curls. And his face, even more handsome in adulthood with stubble now decorating that strong jaw. “Well… we’re both a long way from home, huh?”

Ashton laughed. “Yeah. Yeah I guess you could say that.” A large hand rose to rub at the back of his neck. “So…”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Dean cut in. “We don’t have to do whatever this,” he waved a hand in a vague gesture, “is. Let’s agree to leave what happened when we were kids in the past where it belongs. I know I’ve changed since then. You’ve…” another vague hand gesture at Ashton’s body “clearly changed a lot as well. So let’s just attend to the matter at hand, and take it from there.”

Ashton’s face fell for a fraction of a second before he nodded. “Yeah. That’s… yeah.”

Dean loosed a sigh. He didn’t want to come off as dick. But he wasn’t exactly inclined to walk down memory lane with Ashton either. What was so wrong with wanting to do the job at hand and then go back to forgetting about his former friend turned lover turned stranger? “I didn’t mean it like that,” Dean started to amend, “I only meant that we could have a clean slate. Start fresh, or whatever.”

Ashton merely nodded again, slowly turning over the words in his head. “Yeah, makes sense. But damn, I must’ve played this out a million times in my head about what I would say or do if I walked in here and it was actually you. And…” his voice trailed off in a huff of breath. “I dunno,” Ashton’s shoulders shrugged. “It probably doesn’t mean a whole lot, and it’s way overdue, but I am sorry for how things were before.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth pulled up slightly in a sad half smile. “Yeah. Me too, Ash, me too. Um…” Dean drummed his fingers on his desk, wiggling his mouse to wake up his computer. His tongue clicked in his mouth, making idle noise to pass the time as he pulled up a file on the screen. “Okay, so it looks like your management sent the set list. Did they send the…” another click had another file opening up. “Perfect. Okay, so,” Dean’s eyes lifted from the computer to Ashton, “my team and I are gonna look this over and see what we can do with it. Then we’ll bring you guys so we can hash out any other details or deal with any changes, and then we can start rehearsals. Any questions?”

“How long do you think it will take your team to come up with your additions?”

Dean clicked his tongue some more in thought. “Like a week tops, hopefully. I’ll keep your management up to date.”

“So I’m supposed to sit on my ass and do what exactly? Hope you’ll call me?”

It took everything in Dean’s power to remain professional. “No, of course not. You’re in London. Enjoy it. Do literally anything that will keep your mind off of me calling you. Because, I’ll grant you the courtesy of informing you now. I won’t be calling you. I’ll be calling your management.”

Ashton drummed his fingers against his thighs, blowing out a huff of air slowly, no doubt trying to ignore the obvious phone call dig. “Fine. Just, uh, try not to keep us waiting too long, Fowler. The venue only gave us a handful of dates so the sooner we can lock one in, the better.”

“Keep you waiting? Wouldn’t dream of it, Irwin,” Dean smiled sweetly.

~~~

Dean felt his temper rising with each second that ticked by on the clock. Tick! He’s not coming. Tock! Why did he think he would?

So when his phone finally did ring, shattering the silence, Dean all but jumped out his own skin before answering. “About time,” he said, doing his best to keep his irritation out of his voice.

“I know. I messed up. I’m sorry. I’m on my way though, okay. Just… like gimme five more minutes. Please?” Ashton’s voice replied, rushed rather than apologetic.

“Don’t bother. Just do whatever you want. I’m done.”

“What?”

Even Dean faltered for a second, unsure of what he was saying. “I— You— You promised me, Ash. You swore this wasn’t gonna change anything between us. That we were still gonna be us. And sure, at the time, you probably meant every word. But…” he sniffed as a tear slid down his nose. “I can’t keep putting my life on pause for you.”

“I never asked you to.”

“I know, but—”

“But what, Dean?! You can’t handle not being the only important thing in my life?! I have a future to think about here!”

“A future that doesn’t include me.”

“What are you saying?” The question came out broken and horrified.

“I’m saying— I love you, okay? So much that I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to stop. But I can’t keep waiting for you to love me back.”

“I do love you! I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t.”

“But you’re not with me, Ash! Maybe emotionally. But physically and mentally, you left me a long time ago.”

“Dean, please!”

“Don’t call me.”

“Dean!”

The line went dead. And by the time Ashton made it to their meet up spot, Dean was nowhere to be found.

~~~

Aside from the ending, Dean had been one of Ashton’s better relationships. Carefree, easy days playing music and doing homework together. A million little moments that turned into shy confessions and led to kissing in the back row at the movies and promises of forever. A promise Ashton intended to keep, right up until he didn’t.

Ashton shook the thoughts from his head. Replaying a relationship that had ended over a decade ago wasn’t gonna do him any good. And yet, he couldn’t help it. Walking into that studio and seeing Dean again, different but somehow still the same, had opened up the memories whether Ashton wanted it or not.

He didn’t fault Dean for breaking things off, not back then and certainly not now. They hadn’t been anything more than kids. And life seemed to had been kind to both of them since then. Could a clean slate lead to a new chance? One that Ashton wouldn’t fuck up this time. Or had Dean meant a clean slate in that he wanted to treat this strictly as a professional relationship, get the job done, and go back to forgetting Ashton? He supposed in some part it didn’t matter. That sitting here, spinning through all the what ifs was a giant waste of time. But he somehow found himself focusing on the words “I love you, okay? So much that I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to stop,” and wondering if that was still true. And if it was still true, what did that mean for them now that they had each grown up a little bit more? And if it wasn’t true…

Ashton shook his head again.

~~~

“A band? Like an actual band?” Dean asked skeptically.

Ashton’s eyes shifted to study the ground. “Yeah. I mean they play shows and stuff. Nothing big yet. But who knows, you know? Maybe one day…”

“Maybe one day you guys will be huge stars and I’ll be…” 

“Hopefully right there with me?” Ashton asked, lifting his gaze to meet Dean’s, teeth nipping into his lower lip. 

Dean just arched an eyebrow. “You would want that?”

Ashton gripped Dean’s hands in his tightly. “Of course I do! What?” Ashton laughed. “You think I would choose anything for my life that didn’t include you? Dean, I love you. And anything this world is gonna be crazy enough to throw at me, I want you right there with me.”

Dean allowed himself a smile, to fully believe in what Ashton was telling him. “It’ll always be us?”

“Always. Promise.”

~~~

Dean rubbed his eyes. It had been a foolish promise. One he had willed himself to believe in at the time because what was the alternative when you were seventeen and in love?

It hadn’t all been Ashton’s fault. Dean had been just as idyllic about the thought of spending forever with Ashton, chasing music dream after music dream together. Until the doubt and insecurities became too much to handle and he ran. So no, it hadn’t all been Ashton’s fault, because it was never his fault at all. Ashton would have continued to fight for them until his last breath. But Dean had picked the coward’s way out and pushed the blame on Ashton anyway. And Ashton, bless his heart, had let it happen.

And for what? For both of them to chase their music dreams separately and still find a way back into each other’s lives? There was no way that could be a mere coincidence. Something much larger than Dean could ever fathom was at play here. Fate. Destiny. Whatever it was, Dean wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.

Dean pulled out his phone and dialed.

“Hello?” Ashton’s voice answered, polite but unsure of who was calling.

“Hey,” Dean replied. “It’s me. It’s uh, sorry, it’s Dean.”

“Oh! Yeah, hey. I uh, wasn’t expecting you to call, sorry,” Ashton nervously laughed. 

“To be fair, I told you not to expect me,” Dean laughed with him.

“You guys are ready with the arrangements already?” Ashton asked incredulously. “Damn, I can see why my management picked you guys.”

“What? No. I—" Dean huffed another laugh. “Sorry, I should explain why I’m calling you. It’s uh… Well, it’s personal, I guess? I— God, I feel so ridiculous. I—” he paused, letting out a long sigh, using the time to gather the courage to say what he wanted to say. 

“Dean?” Ashton asked, voice tinged with concern. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I just… I keep thinking, and um… are you free to meet for coffee or something? This is a conversation probably better had in person.”

“Oh? Uh… yeah. Yeah, I can meet you somewhere. Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

~~~

Ashton tried to keep his nerves in check as he waited inside the coffee shop for Dean to arrive. It took every ounce of patience he had to remain where he was when he saw Dean in the parking lot, tucking a motorcycle helmet under his arm before striding towards the door. The tightness in his chest gave way to instant relief when Dean flashed him a huge grin, crossing the room quickly to him. “Hey, thanks for meeting me,” Dean rushed out as he set his motorcycle helmet down on the table. 

“Yeah, of course. So what’s up? You sounded like whatever you wanted to talk about is pretty serious.”

Dean’s face flushed, as both men settled into their seats. “It’s actually kind of stupid. But remember how I told you that we should leave our past in the past and just have a clean slate?”

Ashton felt the tightness in his chest return as he nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, I’m struggling with doing that more than I thought. Like, if someone had asked me a few days ago how I felt about you, I would easily say that you were someone who was part of my past, and I’ve made my peace with it.”

“And now?” Ashton prompted after a few beats of silence. 

“Now I’m confused. The way we ended wasn’t your fault. The blame lies completely with me. I was the one who couldn’t handle my inner demons and I took the easy way out. And even today, it’s clear I still have some bitterness about how we ended because I’ve kind of been a dick to you under the guise of cold professionalism. And that bitterness is misplaced. It’s my own demons that have now turned into regret, and it’s not fair for me to have projected that onto you.”

“Well, while I appreciate that, I’m still partly to blame. I got tunnel-visioned in chasing my music dream with the guys, and I unintentionally stopped viewing you as a priority. And you were right to call me out for it and demand more for yourself.”

“You didn’t deserve for me to throw it all away, though.”

Ashton shrugged. “And you didn’t deserve for me to cast you aside to push you into thinking walking away was the only option.”

“And while I’m glad we’re at a place now where we can have a mature conversation about this, I’m still confused about where this leaves us. Because I don’t want a fresh start. I want a do over. I want the chance I ran away from.”

Ashton let out a sigh of relief, “Oh thank, God,” he laughed. “Because I have not been able to get you out of my head since I suggested your company to my management,” he confessed.

“Since you what?” Dean asked incredulously. “You suggested my company to your management? Which meant you knew it was me?”

Ashton’s face flushed. “Well it didn’t start out that way. But once I saw the name, I got curious. And… I mean I can’t say that I was ever okay with how things ended between us. It fuckin’ destroyed me, and to always have this nagging thought that it could have been avoided… You’re the only boy I’ve ever been in love with, Dean. And one of the last things you said to me was how you didn’t think you’d ever stop loving me. And I didn’t realize how much I’d been holding onto that hope until I found you again.”

Dean felt his heart start to race in his chest. “So… if I want a do over, and you also want a do over… that leaves us where, exactly?”

“Hopefully right about here?” Ashton asked before one of his hands was reaching across the table, two fingers hooking under Dean’s chin to pull him in for a kiss.

__

Tag List

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[stylesparadise]

Hi friends! I hope this post finds you well! I’m going to cut to the chase and say that I am once again looking for someone to (telegram) roleplay with!

My life has been a bit crazy lately, but I’m finding some inspiration and free time that I would love to put into a creative outlet to strengthen myself as a writer. I am over 21 so I request that my partners are the same, maybe 18+, but absolutely no minors. I’ve been writing for at least 9 years and would like to say that I’m well seasoned in this! I normally write a page (or more) depending on how well detailed the other response is so that I feel I can have enough to write off of. I’m more than okay with switching plots and trying new things so please do not hesitate to ask on any of those. I also get lives get in the way and I will put in here that I do work a full time early morning job!

I am interested in broadening from my normal and would like to search for someone to write for Sirius Black (or Harry Potter in general), Pedro Pascal or Joel Miller, and as always Harry Styles, One Direction (and solo!), 5SOS. if any of this interests you please message me and hopefully we can connect!

I do ask that you use “,” quotations when speaking, proper grammar and spelling, and are able to write in this lengthier responses (I understand short ones happen). I normally prefer doubles and would like to stick to that as I feel it’s only fair and wouldn’t want to make someone write as only a male lead. We can discuss everything else!

4.16.2023

[lemoncrushh]

OLD FICS REPOSTING

STARTING MONDAY, JULY 8...

I will begin reposting my three completed long fics. These are multi-chaptered fics that I wrote between 2015 and 2018. Please note, these are all Harry x OC fics, two are AUs and one is Real Harry.

I WILL BE POSTING ONE CHAPTER OF EACH FIC PER DAY. So, you can follow along easily or wait til the end and binge them all.

Below is a brief synopsis of each fic, along with warnings. ALL THREE ARE OLDER WOMAN OCs. If this is not your thing, or it turns you off, PLEASE do not read. I got hate for these in the past (and some snarky comments on Wattpad), and I am just too old and tired to defend them anymore. In my opinion, the age thing shouldn't matter, but I would rather put it out there first before I get messages about it.

Just PLEASE REMEMBER TO BE KIND. I have a heart just like everybody else, and I am sensitive. I enjoy interacting with readers and other writers. Feedback is always appreciated, but rude comments will be blocked.

Obviously, you must be over 18 to read my fics.

Summary: After a few years of being a housewife, Tisa Jordan decided to go back to school. Hoping to find inspiration and a new direction in life, she didn't expect to meet Harry Styles, a handsome British twenty-year-old.

When It Was Written: I started this fic around the end of 2014 when I'd just become a Harry fan, and it was completed in 2015. It was my very first Harry fic.

The Characters and Face Claims: This Harry is 20 (he turns 21 at the end), and Tisa is 32. The girl for the face claim of Tisa was just a model in a random stock photo I found, so I don't know who she is. The character Zack is based on Zayn, and Penny is based on Perrie Edwards. Also, I think I used Ashton Irwin for the face claim of Joey, Liam for Grayson, Olivia Wilde for Justine (complete coincidence, I promise lol), Renee Olstead for Liz, and Lea Michele as Britney. I did not use a face claim for James.

Warnings: age gap (older woman), infidelity, smut, unprotected sex, divorce, angst (LOTS), drinking, mentions of mental abuse and dysfunctional childhood

Number of Chapters: 39 (chapters are a bit short in the beginning because I didn't keep track of word counts back then.)

Posting Time: 10AM CDT

Summary: I'm Harry. I have a mundane job where I sit in a cubicle all day. But things just got better because the hottest babe just started working here. And I'm determined to make her mine, even if just for one night. I'm Roni. I just started this new job, but all I can think about is the hottie in the corner cubicle. I think he likes me too.

When It Was Written: This was started in 2015 and finished in 2017 (it was on hold off and on for a while). It started really with just the urge to write about a cocky Harry and eventually turned into a long story. There is a lot of smut, but it ends up having a lot of drama as well.

The Characters and Face Claims: So, as you can see from the cheeky lil summary, this is written in two points of view. This Harry is based on 2013 Harry, so he's 19. Roni is 27. I don't believe I used any face claims for any of the other characters.

Warnings: age gap (older woman), smut, angst (LOTS) * Just want to add that in both this fic and the one above, the characters have unprotected sex. This was simply an oversight on my part. I was married when I wrote these and had not used a condom in years, so it was simply not on my mind. I got called out for it, don't worry lol.

Number of Chapters: 22

Posting Time: 2PM CDT

Summary: Stacey Barnett is a writer and a single mother. Her hands full with two daughters (one with special needs), a newly published novel, an extroverted best friend and a controlling ex-husband, the last thing she expects is to meet an international pop star.

When It Was Written: I started this story in 2016 when I was going through my own divorce, so it's very personal to me. I didn't actually finish it until 2019. Sometimes you write something that you think is going to be a big hit and when it's not, it kind of crushes your spirit. While I knew this was not for everyone, I think because it was so personal to me, it was hard for me to take any criticism (and it still is, tbh).

The Characters and Face Claims: This is the only one of the three that is about Real Harry. The story takes place when he's just released his first solo album, although in this he never cut his hair, and his movie (which is not named) came out before the album. The face claim for Stacey is Rachelle Lefevre. She is 40. Her bestie Lorelei's face claim is Tabrett Bethell. I did not use any other face claims, although most of the other characters are based on real people in my life - Stacey's daughters are mine, her mom is mine, and her ex-husband is mine. I just changed the names.

Warnings: age gap (older woman), smut, angst, mentions of divorce, autism (child), seizures (child), insecurities, flashbacks, nightmares, mental health issues * Again, this mentions a lot of personal issues I had and was going through at the time. I am not exaggerating when I say this is LOADED with angst. You will get angry at the characters, especially Stacey. But please remember to have a heart, because she's been through a lot and doesn't always react the way you think she should.

Number of Chapters: 33

Posting Time: 6PM CDT

In addition, I also have playlists curated for all of these on Spotify. I will link them on the story pages.

Again, please be kind. But if you have any feedback as I post, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Remember, just because they're older fics doesn't mean you can't comment :).

MASTERLIST | KO-FI | FEEDBACK

Also, if you enjoy my writing, please consider joining my Patreon!

[lunarwritesthings]

: ̗̀➛ REQUEST INFORMATION

– Please check my pin to see if requests are open.

– Please put if you want it to be an "x reader" fic or an oc will be used.

– The more detail in the request is best as it can help me write the fic!

– Don't be afraid to ask about certain things in the fic

– Don't be afraid to request people who aren't on my "who I'll write" list. I don't have the best memory, so not everyone is there!

: ̗̀➛ What I will & Won't Write

– I will not write about self-harm, eating disorders, or anything that is in that realm.

– Fluff & angst only. I will not write smut as I don't believe I can write it well.

– Most angst is fine except for anything involving heavy blood or serious topics.

– Any kind of relationship, such as male x male, male x female, or nonbinary x male/female, is fine.

– I will write about family even if it's not by blood and just by people being a specific family figure.

: ̗̀➛ Who I'll Write For

Wrestlers

– Christian Cage

– Jeff Hardy

– Edge

– Undertaker (all versions)

Musicians and Bands

– Ryan Ross

– Dallon Weeks

– Noah Sebastian

– Corpse Husband

– Andy Biersack

– Gerard Way

– Luke Hemmings

– Ashton Irwin

– Michael Clifford

– Livingston

[writersdare]

You choose, I write!

I've got an idea for a new story, which will probably become a series, if you like the 1st chapter. However, I'm thinking to write it as 5SOS member x OC, rather than 5SOS member x Reader, as the story can be rather controversial and a little cheeky.

Please, let me know, are you fine with reading 5SOS member x OC? And if so, what 5SOS member should I choose for the series? The poll will be available for a week, once I get the results, I'll ask you something else. It will be a story we'll write together! ♡

– photo is not mine and belongs to the rightful owner –

*CC – Canon Character *OC – Original Character

Masterlist 

[ao3feed-larry]

Something Like Love

by ril3yal3x

Not many Michael x OC fanfics where the OC is male so that is what I'm here to do. Probably going to be more fluffy than smutty. There might be a few heated make out scenes tho. - 3 missed calls at 2 AM, I look at my phone and its HIM. I press the button to call him back. "I forgot to say I love you." he pouted. I chuckled. "I love you too Mikey, goodnight." I replied. "Goodnight" I could hear him say behind a smile.

Sam is Gay. Michael is Bisexual. Ashton is Sam's brother. Ashton is in a band with Michael.

Words: 3854, Chapters: 7/?, Language: English

Fandoms: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M, F/M

Characters: Michael Clifford, Original Male Character(s), Ashton Irwin, Calum Hood, Luke Hemmings, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan

Relationships: Michael Clifford/Original Male Character(s), Calum Hood/Original Female Character(s), Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Michael Clifford & Harry Styles

Additional Tags: Boyband, Simon Cowell Being An Asshole, Protective Ashton Irwin, Protective Older Brothers

via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/kP4Ouws

[caramelcal]

5 SECONDS OF SUMMER MASTERLIST

Masterlist created [21.02.2021]

requests are open for 5sos

CALUM HOOD

FOOL FOR YOU [3.15K] - After a drunken mistake lands her in a fake relationship with what has to be the most annoying person that y/n has ever met, Calum Hood, she just wished the tour would end so everything could go back to normal. (ON HOLD)       PART TWO [2.8k] - The one where Calum and y/n go to the club.       PART THREE [2.1k] - The one where Calum and y/n aren’t talking.       PART FOUR [] - The one where it’s from Calum’s PoV.        PART FIVE [] - The one where the fake relationship ends. [SMUT]

CORRUPTED LOVE. [2.7k] - Calum’s girlfriend finds out about gang!cal’s occupation in a not-so-friendly way. 

ROCK ‘N ROSES [2.25K] - aurora is a florist who owns a shop next to calum and ashton’s tattoo parlor. unfortunately, their disruptions are driving away her customers and she needs to put an end to it, even if she doesn’t like confrontation.

ASHTON IRWIN

ROCK ‘N ROSES [2.25K] - aurora is a florist who owns a shop next to calum and ashton’s tattoo parlor. unfortunately, their disruptions are driving away her customers and she needs to put an end to it, even if she doesn’t like confrontation.

LUKE HEMMINGS

HIS FAVORITE SECRET [4.3K] - In which Bambi has had enough of Luke hiding her. (COMPLETED)       HIS FAVOURITE GIRL [3.4K] - In which Luke’s work gets in the way of him and Bambi’s activities and Bambi is frustrated. [SMUT]       HIS FAVOURITE CLUB [2.5K] - In which the truth of Luke’s occupation finally hits Bambi.        HER FAVOURITE PROTECTOR [3.25K] -  its been weeks since Luke and Bambi last spoke after their argument at the club, and everything seems bleak. things take a turn for the worst for bambi, but it seems only luke can save her from this one.

MICHAEL CLIFFORD

AND YET, I STILL LOVE YOU [1.8K] - In which Daisy has to attend the wedding of her ex boyfriend and her perfect sister. Chaos and arguments ensue. (COMPLETED)

[in-superbloom]

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)

right where you left me: prologue

pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)

warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!

author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)

another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3

credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.

i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚

@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤

i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡

let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡

word count: 4.1k

☆☆☆

Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.

Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.

Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.

Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.

As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).

When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.

Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.

Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?

The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).

Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.

She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.

Alright, someone's in a mood.

Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.

“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.

Still, no reaction.

That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.

When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.

Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.

“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”

Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.

“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.

Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.

“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.

Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.

A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.

“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.

“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.

Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.

While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?

She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.

The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.

She knows what's wrong with it now.

It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.

Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?

☆ ☆ ☆

Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.

The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.

“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.

That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.

It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.

That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.

As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.

While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.

So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.

Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.

He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.

Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.

He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.

Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.

Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.

Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.

Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.

A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.

“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.

Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.

“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.

“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”

Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.

“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”

“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.

“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.

“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”

“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.

“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”

Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.

Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?

Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.

God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.

Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.

Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.

Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.

[lovesosweeet]

KNOW IT ALL x THE BAND CAMINO

part 1

a calum hood songfic

Tillie Beckett isn’t known for sticking around, and maybe that’s why touring had come so naturally to her, even as an amateur when she first began as an opener for 5 Seconds of Summer a few years ago… hopping from city to city, bed to bed, hookup to hookup. She broke hearts and left messes behind. And she didn’t care about it all, too wrapped up in whatever whirlwind she found herself in next.

The habits became religion as she propelled to stardom. Her music — angsty, energetic, unapologetic, and unpolished — took the charts by storm following her self-titled album’s debut. Her words were raw and honest, and they resonated with her audience, with upbeat and electric sounds that even the grouchiest and grumpiest of listeners couldn’t help but nod along to. It was the perfect mix of relatable and catchy, and that’s what made her the perfect opener for 5SOS.

Ashton had found Tillie’s videos on Instagram, where she often teased her emotional and early versions of songs she was writing. Her raspy voice caught his attention quickly, and he became a follower very early on, before she’d gone viral… which, she has done several times now. When 5SOS was prepping their latest tour, he threw Tillie’s name out as his top choice as an opener, and the rest of the band quickly supported it after they watched her cover of their very own, very old song “Lost Boy” and put a fresh spin on it. It was a song that the band themselves had honestly forgotten about that she gave an entirely new life. They were hooked and called her just hours after Ashton’s initial suggestion to offer her the spot.

Her friendship with the Australian quartet was forged in what, at the time, seemed to be an unbreakable bond. She was invited to dinner at Luke’s house to review the plans, the money, and all the other logistics of the tour, but the nitty gritty was long forgotten as the five of them stayed up until the sun rose the next day, just talking, jamming, drinking, and smoking the stars out of the sky.

She and Calum weren’t instant friends, at least, not the way she was with Michael. Tillie and Michael had bonded instantly over being gamers with an affinity for ever changing hair colors. He could also dress in her wardrobe and no one would’ve been able to guess that they weren’t his clothes, that is, if her clothes were big enough to fit the 6-foot-something Australian giant, since she was a mere 5 feet tall.

But, her friendship with Michael isn’t what landed her on the cover of tabloids.

No, the pictures of hers and Calum’s necks covered in matching bruises were what landed on the homepages of gossip websites. The videos of her and Calum whispering in what they thought were private corners of dive bars spread like wildfire amongst their somewhat overlapping fan bases. Them stumbling down the cobblestoned sidewalks of Montreal, hand in hand, for an impromptu “bachelor party” for Michael littered their tagged photos on Instagram for weeks.

It was a pair nobody expected but nobody questioned. It wasn’t predictable but it made sense.

At least, it did to Calum.

part 2

my masterlist! :)

—

A/N: hi i’m actually quite stoked about this one?!?!! sorry to anyone who wanted a self insert i personally feel more comfy in the OC x RP world and that technically won my poll! feels easier to separate as fiction/“characters” :)

[s1eepers]

If you are interested in reading any JJ Maybank or Ashton Irwin fanfics I have some up currently. My Wattpad account (the same exact one I will post this Rafe Cameron story) is called S1eepers

[calpalirwin]

New Beginnings

Summary: Avery Ryan wanted three things from life— love, her career, and to feel like she wasn't ever sacrificing one for the sake of the other. But was that even possible?

Word Count: 4.7k

Part 3

Avery pushed open the door to the bus, her yoga mat tucked under her arm. She was expecting to hear the rustling in the kitchen area of Ashton making breakfast and the smell of coffee dripping into the pot, a routine she’d grown accustomed to during these first few months of touring. A quiet morning spent alone with the man who silenced the butterflies while the world slept on around them. So, when she heard a “So, Avery, who’s your celebrity crush?” she stilled in her tracks.

No… no, no, NO! She knew that interview like the back of her hand, and the thought of Ashton seeing it made her cheeks turn the same color as her hair, and her heart race in her chest. Was it too much to wish for the ground to open and swallow her whole rather than continue to walk towards her doom?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A wave of warmth washed over Avery’s cheeks, and she giggled despite herself. “Oh, that question’s gonna get me in trouble,” Avery giggled again at the interviewer. She didn’t need to look over at Ajani to know that while she was rolling her eyes, Ajani had the same trouble-making grin on her face as their interviewer.

“Oh, c’mon,” the interviewer continued to goat. “The whole world knows that Avery Ryan was off the market before she became a household name. But we’re all human, right? We all got our celebrity crushes, don’t we?”

“Oh, we do,” Avery assured them.

“So?” the interviewer pressed.

“Ashton Irwin.”

Ajani busted into a fit of laughter beside Avery. “Little quick to answer that one, huh, Ace?”

“Oh, shut up!” Avery laughed with Ajani, covering her face with her hands. “Like anyone who says he isn’t at least one of their celebrity crushes is a liar.”

“Facts.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Avery heard a laugh that wasn’t Ashton’s she breathed a sigh of relief. “Morning, Mike,” she greeted, plopping down on the couch next to him. “You’re up early.”

“Yeah, wanted to catch Crystal before her day started. Catch her up on everything.”

“Mhm, a likely story,” Avery teased, tilting her chin at his phone.

He laughed again and clicked his phone shut. “Yeah, I was telling her about your and Ash’s relationship, and how you both seem at a stalemate. And she mentioned the video. Thought I’d give it a watch. You know this interview is four years old? Still true?”

Avery decided to go with honesty. She nodded.

Michael broke out in a grin. “So, do something about it. Make a move.”

Avery scoffed. “Why can’t he make a move?”

“Aren’t you a feminist?”

“Yeah…”

“So, why can’t you make the first move?”

“Because it’s…” her voice trailed off as she fought to find the right words. “It’s a long story,” she decided with a huff.

“Well better get to telling it before Ashton gets up.”

“So, the abridged version is that Drew— my ex— and I grew up together. He moved to LA first. We reconnected when I moved there. We started dating. Moved in together. Planned our lives together. Everything. But once things started taking off with the band, something changed. Like… I dunno, like he saw the band as something I was only going to do short-term. And he couldn’t figure out how the life we wanted with each other could fit with mine and Ajani’s dreams for Lucky Mess. He started picking fights about whether he could trust me out on the road. And then he cheated on me with his high school girlfriend while I was on the road. And there was no moving past that for either of us. I didn’t want to try to make it work after that. And even if I had, he chose her, so it didn’t matter.”

Avery saw Michael’s jaw tighten and she knew he had felt that similar pain in the past. As a musician, she assumed they all had at least one story like that. “Fuck…” he muttered. “And Ash? He knows?”

“He knows the basics. That Drew and I dated. That we broke up. And that Drew is now engaged to the girl he left me for.”

Michael whistled low. “That’s fucked.”

“Yeah. But Ash doesn’t know that we broke up because Drew cheated. And it’s not even that I’m still hung up on Drew. But the engagement happened literally the day we all started working together, so it’s like a new pain if that makes any sense.”

“No, yeah, that makes sense.”

“Yeah. And then he and his fiancée showed up at the beginning of the tour. And… I know in my head that Drew and Ash are not the same person. I know that I can trust Ash. But…” her voice trailed off.

“It’s a risk,” Michael said knowingly. “A risk that you got a fresh reminder of. But take it from someone who’s known Ash a long time. He’s going to put in the energy he wants returned. He won’t give ultimatums because he doesn’t want to get ultimatums. He won’t make his partner compromise on their dreams for his benefit because he doesn’t want to have to compromise on his dreams for theirs. Plus, he’s totally smitten with you.”

Avery smiled and rested her head affectionately on his shoulder for a minute.

“And how do you know all this stuff?”

“You think it was a typo you got to that pool party 2 hours ahead of everyone else?” His green eyes danced with mischief and trouble.

“That was you?!”

Michael laughed. “It was Cal, actually.”

“You’re much more observant than you let on, Mike. Should I be worried?”

“Nah. I only use my power for good. Pinky swear.”

They were still laughing when Ashton finally stumbled sleepily from the bunks. His shirt rode up as he raised his arms above his head in a stretch, his mouth dropping open in a yawn. Michael’s thumb swiped at the corner of Avery’s mouth. “Stop drooling,” he whispered low so Ashton couldn’t hear, winking as he did so.

She slapped his arm playfully, laughing loudly. “Can you blame a girl?”

“Oh, just make a move. Speaking of moves, wanna play chess? Playing against Luke gets old.”

“Love to,” she chirped.

Ashton watched as Michael pushed himself off the couch and started searching for something. “Videogames already Mike?”

“Nah, were playing chess,” Avery answered.

“Aw, I lost my morning buddy?” Ashton fake pouted.

“Seems like it,” Avery laughed.

“Sorry, mate,” Michael shrugged, his green eyes surprisingly apologetic.

“Nah, no worries. Might get breakfast made quicker without having to help the tiny one reach the plates and cups every two seconds,” Ashton teased, winking at the woman who rolled her eyes and scoffed. He laughed as he got breakfast going, and they set up their game.

“How’s it going?” he asked a little while later, sitting down beside Avery.

Her eyebrows were pulled together, her tongue poking out slightly in the corner of her mouth. “Good,” she said as Michael slowly moved a piece.

“Where’s mine?” Michael asked, looking at the two coffee cups and a large plate of food Ashton placed on the coffee table.

“Bread’s in the cupboard, eggs are in the pan,” Ashton told him while Avery took a bite from one of the pieces of toast, smiling at Ashton in thanks.

Michael rolled his eyes. “Your move,” he told Avery as he got up, muttering under his breath something vaguely that sounded like “And I don’t mean chess.”

If she heard Michael’s less than subtle second statement, she gave no indication. Instead, she wiped the crumbs from her mouth before reaching for her mug to take a sip, studying the board methodically. “Check,” she said, moving a piece and taking another bite of toast.

“Check?!” Michael asked bewildered, leaving his plate on the counter, and rushing back over to look at their game. He quickly moved his king out of harm’s way. “Uncheck!” he said, sticking his tongue out at her before going back to make his food.

“Actually, it’s checkmate,” she replied, moving to block his king in so he couldn’t move it. She leaned back against the couch, her side pressing into Ashton’s. He draped his arm over her shoulders and returned the smile she tossed his way. Ashton swallowed the urge to kiss the side of her temple, not wanting to ruin the soft moment they were creating.

This time Michael didn’t come running back. He just kept making his plate, shaking his head the whole while. “Rematch?”

“You’re on,” she grinned, quickly leaning forward to reset the board. Michael kept shaking his head, but this time Ashton didn’t think it had to do with him losing at chess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s a great crowd out there,” Avery grinned at Ashton as she came off stage.

“You say that every time,” he told her as they stepped off to the side. Her hand found his heart, and his found hers, feeling it pound wildly with adrenaline.

“That’s cuz it’s true every time. Best fans in the world.”

“Every artist says that, too.”

“Again, that’s because it’s true. It’s fuckin incredible to be able to create something that people can relate to, and that they love it enough to want to relate to it.”

“Well, you’re pretty easy to love.”

Her cheeks flushed and her eyes widened.

“Your work,” Ashton rushed, scratching nervously at the back of his neck. He couldn’t believe he just blurted it out like that… “Your work is easy to love. The way your mind works is beautiful to witness.”

Her cheeks flushed more, and she ducked her head. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “You’re pretty great yourself.”

They lapsed into silence, her heartbeat slowing to match the pace of his, the thoughts they wanted to voice trapped in their throats, eyes searching for understanding in the other. Out of all the tour rituals Ashton had, his rituals with Avery had become his favorite. There was a palpable ache in him to know that tour would end far too quickly for his liking. That one morning very soon he was going to have his morning coffee and not have her giggling at him from across the table. That these moments of finding stillness in each other’s beating hearts, reminding them that they were very much alive were limited. At first Ashton thought that he didn’t want to give it up because it was a hard transition going from the chaotic sound of touring to the deafening silence of being home. But the more moments he shared with Avery, the more he realized it was her that he didn’t want to give up.

Avery didn’t want to give Ashton up either. Ever since the second show, her attention had continued to drift to be centered on Ashton. She could only hope that her trust wasn’t being misplaced; that she wasn’t someone misreading all the signs. But in the middle of the doubt, there was reassurance. Reassurance, and the much-needed comfort that came from the predictability of her routine with him. And she appreciated his patience as she grappled with her lingering hesitation more than she would ever be able to properly express aloud. But maybe everyone was right. Maybe it was time to make a move. A clear, no-room-for-misinterpretation move.

When the stagehand came up to give Ashton a minute warning, Avery and him reluctantly stepped apart, their hands dropping to their sides. “Don’t forget to put your contacts back in after your shower,” he reminded her.

“Thanks,” she smiled softly. “Hey, Ash?” she asked as he started to turn away, her fingers wrapping around his wrist.

“Yeah?” he asked, turning back around. The hand on his wrist tugged Ashton downwards, while her other hand snaked around his neck. She stretched up on her toes and Ashton didn’t hesitate to meet her halfway. With one arm wrapping instinctively around her back, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, before cupping her face gently as their lips met. Electricity surged through him as the kiss went from tender and timid to hungry and passionate. And damn it all to hell, as quickly as they started, they had to stop.

“Break a leg, rockstar,” she breathed.

Ashton’s cheeks were already sore by the time he got behind his drum kit, every part of his body tingling. Whatever buzz he got from playing was nothing compared to the high of kissing her and the way she managed to be both completely in control while surrendering herself to him in the same breath. It was the confidence of a woman who knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to give in to those wants. And fuck if feeling wanted wasn’t one of the best feelings in the world.

I’ve got the best friends in this place,

And I’m holding on!

“Thank you! We’re 5SOS!” Luke shouted into the microphone.

“And we’re Lucky Mess! Good night. Houston!” Ajani finished.

They all took a bow and as they walked off, Ashton wrapped an arm around Avery, pulling her into him and pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “You killed it, sweetheart,” he murmured in her ear.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, rockstar,” she beamed up at him. And he knew she meant the song, but he also knew she meant more than that. And Ashton couldn’t help himself. He spun her into him, both of his hands cupping either side of her face and kissed her the way they would have kissed each other earlier if they had more time. They giggled against each other’s lips as their friends whistled and whooped their encouragement. One of her hands left Ashton’s hair to bat them out of their way as they made a beeline for the bunks, collapsing onto the covers and into each other. There was no way in hell they were giving each other up now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was no need to voice what Ashton and Avery became to each other after that night. It felt good to just know where the other stood without having to say a single word. To know that they could just be two people finding a stillness in the other in the form of warm coffee mugs, stolen kisses, hearts beating in time, and nights spent tangled up in each other.

“Seems like things are going pretty well with you and Ash,” Calum spoke up as they all hung around the bus on one of their nights off, not looking up from his phone. Ajani was next to him doing Luke’s makeup while Michael and Avery played chess at the kitchen table.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” Avery answered, not bothering to look over at the man.

“Good, cuz the whole world knows. Someone posted that little smooch he gave you last week at our Houston show,” Calum explained.

“Oh?” Avery asked while Ajani snatched Calum’s phone from him with a “Gimme that!”

“Rank?” Avery asked her.

“Off the charts. It’s really good.”

“And what are people saying?”

“Good things,” Ashton’s voice told her before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“Oh, look at you all dressed up,” Avery told him grinning. His hair was damp from a quick shower, a short-sleeved pink button-up unbuttoned to a dangerously low level, and black dress pants. “Got a hot date?”

“Yes?” he asked in a hopeful tone, the green and gold dancing in his eyes.

Avery laughed. “Alright. Let me go grab my things.”

“What about our game?” Michael asked, crossing his arms.

“Hmm…” Avert looked at the chessboard, her tongue clicking in her cheek. “Checkmate,” she shrugged, moving one of her pieces and ending the game.

Michael’s green eyes blinked once before going wide. “How?! How do you always win?! Luke, stop getting pampered and come play with me!”

Avery laughed more as she got up from her seat and grabbed Ashton’s hand in hers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is actually really nice,” Avery told Ashton as they walked around downtown. “To do something we’d be able to do if we were home.”

“Complete with slack-jawed strangers,” Ashton joked, jerking his chin at the people whispering and pointing as the two of them walked by.

Avery laughed, pushing his shoulder. “Oh, be nice. At least no one’s alerted the press yet. Did you ladies want a picture?” Avery asked, turning around to the group of about five or so young women. They’d been following the pair for about the last block or so, trailing about fifty feet behind, giggling as they tried to gather the courage to speak up.

“Oh, my God, could we?!” one of them asked, while the others dug around for their phones.

“Yeah, of course.” Avery waved them over.

“So, are you guys like dating?” another one of them asked nervously as they started taking pictures.

“Yeah,” both Ashton and Avery answered, smiling at each other.

They continued to make small talk as pictures were taken. Then the group of women thanked the couple for their time and wished them well with the rest of tour.

“So, dating, huh?” Avery teased as they started walking again.

“You said it too,” he reminded with a giggle.

“Well, it’s the truth, right?”

“Course it’s the truth.”

“And it’ll still be the truth when we get back home, and all this goes away?” Avery asked, biting into her lower lip. She was realizing now that she hadn’t wanted to have the conversation of labeling what they were not because she was secure in what they had, but because she wasn’t. She didn’t want to hear the truth if the truth was that this meant more to her than him.

“Hey, look at me,” he said, stopping and spinning their bodies so they faced each other.

Avery held her breath as he leaned down and she stretched up on her toes to help him close the distance. His lips found hers, then her cheek where he licked a long stripe up the side of her face. “Ashton!” Avery squealed. “The fuck did you lick me for, you fuckin weirdo?!”

“There!” he grinned in triumph. “I licked you, so you’re mine now.”

“I am my own person, thank you very much, sir,” she grumbled, wiping at her face.

He giggled, “But?”

Avery grabbed his hand and sloppily licked the top of it. “But, if we’re marking things as ours, you’re mine, too.”

They were still giggling when they started to walk back up to the venue, finding paparazzi milling around. “You good?” he checked, pulling Avery closer to him.

“Are you?” she countered playfully. “Ash, it’s just some people with cameras. I’m used to this, or did you forget that your girlfriend also happens to be a talented musician?”

“I could never forget that.”

“Ashton! Avery!” they called out as the drummers got closer, cameras flashing. “Where’s everybody else?”

“Probably having a quiet night in,” Avery shrugged.

“And where are you guys coming from?”

“Just getting back from our date,” Ashton told them.

“Date?! Are you guys dating now?!”

“Yep,” they both answered. “Enjoy your night, guys.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Between the kiss at the Houston show, and the run-in with both fans and the paparazzi a week later, the news of Ashton and Avery dating spread like wildfire. So, when Avery's phone rang a few weeks later with a number she recognized despite deleting, she was slightly taken aback but not completely shocked.

Avery knew she should decline the call, but she hit accept. “Hello?”

“Hey, Av. You got a minute to talk?”

“I answered the phone, didn’t I?”

Drew let out an exasperated sigh. “Can you set aside the anger long enough to listen to what I have to say?”

“What’s left to say?”

“A lot, actually. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since LA. Seeing you again… I just miss you. I miss watching you in your element. I miss… everything. Everything about what we were. What we had. And I know I’m the one who fucked everything up. I made my peace with that a long time ago. But I want to try and stop myself from making another mistake. So, I broke up with Madison. Because I realized I didn’t want to give her the life I wanted to have with you. And… I guess I’m saying that life is still yours if you want it.”

“You are… unbelievable. You had years to realize this. Years to have this conversation with me. So, the fact that you’re having it now that you see me finally moving on—"

“I know,” he cut her off. “If I’m the villain in your story… That’s on me.”

She sighed. “You’re not the villain in my story. We just weren’t meant to be, and I finally learned why.”

“I really am sorry for how our story played out. And I wish you nothing but the best. I hope you can at least believe that much.”

“Thank you. And for what it’s worth, you’re not giving Madison my life by being with her. So go rectify that mistake while there’s still time. Bye Drew.”

“Bye Av.”

The line went dead, and Avery wiped at her face in irritation, letting out a small scream as she did so.

“You good?” Michael asked. With everybody off doing their post sound-check/pre-show routines, Avery had almost forgotten Michael was seated a few feet away from her playing on his Switch.

“Life would be a lot easier if you could just hate some people, you know?”

Michael laughed and set the game aside. “Yeah, but then you wouldn’t be you. So, he saw the pictures of you and Ash and finally realized he lost you for good, huh?”

“I swear do you guys just operate from the same script?” Avery asked as she moved to plop down beside him on the couch. She was grateful it was Michael instead of Ajani who had overheard the phone conversation with Drew. As much as Avery loved her best friend, she didn’t need a reminder that she was stupid for wasting any amount of energy mourning the man who had single-handedly blown up any future they might have shared.

“Yeah, we get this nifty little instruction booklet once we hit puberty. The ‘call her up and beg for a second chance once she’s moved on’ is right between ‘break her heart because you’re intimidated by her success’ and ‘what to do when she gives you a taste of your own medicine.’”

Avery laughed, then sighed. “Is it bad that I don’t hate him? I mean I hate what he did. But I don’t think that makes him a bad person. A bad ending doesn’t mean it was a bad story, you know?”

“Yeah, I get what you mean. I think breakups get a bad rep. That they’re these pressure cookers of angst. That the only way to ever get over it is to learn to hate them. But I think that’s a bunch of crap. Like some relationships don’t work. Doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate the good anyway.”

“Sometimes I still think it’d be better if I could hate him, though. So, I don’t feel like this…”

Michael furrowed an eyebrow. “Uh-oh… can I not be your friend anymore because you’re about to break Ash’s heart? Man, I really liked having another only child friend to hang out with, too.”

“What? No!” Avery laughed. “God, no. I love Ash.”

“You do?!”

Avery blushed. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Have you told him?”

“I don’t know how. Plus, I’m scared. What if he doesn’t feel the same?”

Michael snorted. “For one thing, I doubt that. Ash is completely head over heels for you, trust me. And for another, aren’t you a musician?”

“Yeah?”

“So, we got a whole stage full of instruments to help you tell him. Or I can distract you by being really bad at chess while you work up the nerve.”

Avery laughed again. “You’re actually a pretty decent chess player. You’ve just been playing against a really bad one for years, but don’t tell Luke I said that.”

Michael laughed with Avery. “Alright. Should I set up the board then?”

“Think I’m gonna give that talking through music thing a try first,” Avery told him, standing up and patting his leg. “But set it up anyway and we’ll try to squeeze in a game before we go on?”

“Deal. And hey, Avery?”

“Yeah?”

“I know putting your faith in someone new is hard. Especially after what you’ve been through. But don’t let that fear make you push Ash away. I don’t want to have to pretend to not like you.”

“You’re a good friend, Mike.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ashton’s heart was racing in his chest as he caught his breath at the top of the stadium stairs. Fuck, this shit was steep. He used his arm to wipe the sweat off his face and when he turned to jog back down, he saw Avery making her way across the top of the stage.

Ashton frowned. Normally at this time she was tucked away on the bus, reading her way through the thick completed collection of Sherlock Holmes.

Ashton could see her pick up a guitar and start playing, but he couldn’t make out what it was as he started to jog back down the stairs.

I think that I’m all-in.

You’re perfect.

God, I need you.

Just say you need me too.

Her voice rang out. Why did she sound like someone just broke her heart? Ashton jogged faster down the stairs, jumping the last three at the bottom, his sneakers slamming into the concrete floor.

And I want you every night, to wrap my arms around you.

Say it a thousand times.

Come closer, oh come closer.

Maybe it’s a little too much. Whoa.

The more she sang, the less he recognized. Curious, and a little worried at the sudden burst of inspiration, he stopped, waiting for her to finish and notice him.

I don’t wanna fuck this up. Whoa.

I don’t wanna say too much. Whoa.

But I think, I think, I think.

I think I’m in love.

“Hey,” he said, smiled up at her. “Is that true?”

“Hey.” She returned the smile soft and a little sad.

“Is that true?” he repeated, nodding at her guitar. “What you were just singing?”

Her lips quivered as she nodded, a tear sliding down her face. She sniffed, quickly wiping the tear away. “Yeah.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” Ashton braced his hands against the stage floor, hoisting himself up. “Why are you saying that like it’s a bad thing?” He kept his voice soft as he moved to stand by her.

“Because… Drew…” Her voice shook, the doubt taking over.

“What about Drew?”

“He cheated. That’s how our relationship ended. And I’ve spent the past two and a half years trying to figure out how to get past that. And then with you… Everything has been effortless. So different from everything I’ve experienced before. In the best of ways. So, when it came to letting myself love you… I’m powerless to stop it. It’s like loving you was something I was always destined to do. And that terrifies me. It terrifies me how easy it is for me to love you. Because if you don’t feel the same… The only thing I ask of you is that when you break my heart, you do it nicely.”

“That’s not fair,” he chuckled softly.

“What’s not fair?”

“You don’t get the first kiss and the first I love you.”

“You love me?” Her voice came out small.

Ashton wrapped his arms around Avery, pulling her into him, and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Of course, I love you,” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers, seeing the swirling shades of green in her eyes that have transformed his life every day for the last eight months. “And I’m scared, too. I don’t ever want to fuck up what I have with you. Because you… Avery, you are worth everything I’ve been through. All of it, the good and the bad. And I want to keep facing everything with you, even if it’s scary. Because you’re my new beginning.”

Avery giggled, nudging her nose affectionately against Ashton’s. “That might be the cheesiest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

Ashton kissed her sweetly. “It doesn’t make it any less true. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, rockstar.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[stylesparadise]

it’s my favorite time of year! If anyone is interested (:

hi, hello friends!

I’m making a super quick little post to see if anyone would be interested in doubling in some RP? (Telegram) I have recently been inspired by a few books and would LOVE to find someone who doesn’t mind writing some darker content! if this interests you please reach out!!

- Please no one under the age of 21.

- please be comfortable with NSFW materials!

- doubles preferred!

I have been writing for a very long time (10+ years) 🙈

I write in 3rd person and typically write several paragraphs which I like to have matched for the sake of the plot.

August 2, 2023