#i know theres another way but it requires SO MUCH from me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daemour · 1 month ago

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Welcome to the Outlaw [K.HJ]

☆ Pairing: outlaw! Hongjoong x f! businesswoman! YN

☆ Word count: 4717

☆ Genre: wild west au, fluff, some angst

☆ Warnings: cursing, mentions of weapons (guns, knives, etc), violence, death (non-major character)

☆ Summary: When a stranger decides to stay for an indefinite amount of time at your inn, you find yourself more entangled in his life than you expected to be.

☆ #CallMeDjango collab with @sanjoongie (Sunset Outlaw), @flurrys-creativity, @mingsolo

this is uh,,,kinda trash LMAOAFOGHJDGHKDSGHKDS so i do apologise. theres a few more plot points i was gonna add but i was running behind deadline so if u want a part two with the rest of it lmk!

It’s been a long while since a newcomer had come to the little town of Utopia. The last one had been the young farmer Jongho, who now has a life for himself just outside of the town’s edge. Not many people choose your town as their new home, temporarily or permanent.

He showed up at your inn in the dead of night, hat pulled low over his eyes. Out of fear, you kept a hold of the pistol you kept under the counter as you greeted him. But despite the initial aura surrounding him, he smiled at you so kindly, an unfamiliar accent pulling at his words.

“Got a room to spare, ma’am?” he drawls, leaning over the counter to wink at you.

You flush red and turn your eyes up to let your burning cheeks cool down. “You got the money to pay for it, cowboy?” you parrot him, and the stranger chuckles.

Without another word, he places a stack of bills on the counter top, his smile growing crooked. “Is this enough for a room that ensures total privacy?”

You’re almost scared to see how much it actually was, and you’re not too embarrassed to admit you gasped out loud. It was almost enough to buy your inn three times over.

“Let me show you to your room,” you offer, immediately grabbing one of the keys off the hooks behind you. “I’ll make sure the staff won’t bother you.”

Leading him to the room way up at the top floor was quiet save for the clink of his spurs. Even the ‘thank you’ he said to you was quiet, and as he closed the door behind him, you felt any energy you had left drain out of you and you decide to retire quite early into the night.

In the morning, it almost feels like a fever dream. You completely forget about the handsome stranger occupying your inn. It’s only when you wander into the kitchen and see the cowboy, hat gone and dark hair messy and you gasp out of shock.

The cowboy turns leisurely, a smile just as crooked as the one last night on his face like he didn’t just give you a heart attack. “Mornin,’” he greets you easily, “fancy some coffee?”

You shake your head, attempting to regain your breath. “N-no thanks. Can I ask why you’re in my kitchen? Breakfast is served in the dining hall.”

The cowboy shrugs. “I like my breakfast the way I make it. The cook let me in.”

Your eye twitches. “Oh, he did, did he. Well, I can’t let you waltz into my hotel’s kitchen any time you please. Hell, I don’t even know your name. If you want coffee, you’re gonna have to wait in the dining hall like everyone else.” You sigh, bringing your hand up to pinch the bridge between your eyes. “Look. If you really are craving a coffee by your own hand, at least ask me first and not my cook.”

The cowboy shrugs and nods. “Fair, fair. I’ll come ask you next time.” He picks up his coffee cup leisurely, tipping his hat.

You’re left to watch his retreating back, a mixture of confusion and amusement swirling in your stomach. You’re not sure what to make of this stranger, but something about him intrigues you.

“Coffee?”

You nod and reach out without looking up from your deposit ledger. It’s become a routine for the strange guest to offer you a cup of coffee he made that morning, and although you were a little suspicious at first, now it’s just casual and natural.

Although he’s been here for a while, you still don’t know much about your guest other than the fact he requires total privacy. You don’t even know his name. All the townsfolk warn you about letting him stay for too long, but you’re sure he doesn’t mean any harm. Your cook likes him, and that’s about all you need.

“Sure, thanks,” you beam up at him, reaching out to take the mug from his hands, your fingers brushing against his.

“What are you working on today?”

Conversation today? What a treat. You look up, smiling at the sight of him leaning atop the counter. “Just some finances and reports. Boring stuff, really. I have to stop by the bank at lunch and make a deposit on the mortgage.”

The guest hums, head tilting ever so slightly. “You wouldn’t mind if I tagged along, would you? I have a couple errands I need to run, and I don’t know where anything is in this town right now.”

You glance down at your papers, and then back up at him. “I wouldn’t mind. I can show you around a bit, too. But first…a request.” The guest looks a little confused, but gestures for you to continue. “What is your name? I have to put you down in the guest book, and I also can’t quite possibly only refer to you as ‘The Guest’. It’s the polite thing, you know.”

The guest laughs, throwing his head back and showing off a row of perfect teeth. “You can call me Deuce. And you are?”

Smiling, you reach out a hand. “I’m YN. Good to meet you, Deuce.”

To your surprise, instead of just shaking your hand, he leans down to press a soft kiss to your knuckles. “The pleasure is all mine, YN. I will see you at lunch.”

Your eyes follow him as he walks back upstairs to his room, and after he disappears from your view, you can’t seem to keep your mind off him. There’s something about him that draws you in, whether it’s his light accent or the way he focuses all his attention on you when you’re speaking. You lightly smack your forehead, willing yourself to focus back on your paperwork. You don’t have the time to focus on a pretty boy cowboy.

Before you know it, noon has arrived and the telltale sound of his spurs are approaching you. “Ready to head out?” you ask, looking up to see Deuce smiling at you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him without one, and you’re not too sure how you feel about it. “I’ll show you around first, get lunch, then stop at the bank last. Sounds good?”

Deuce nods, smile never wavering. “Lead the way.”

You stand from your seat, picking up your light skirts and making sure your apron is on straight. “Now, the town isn’t large by any means, but there’s a good many people who live here. We’re all pretty close, and every first Sunday there’s a town dinner. You’re welcome to join us as long as you bring one dish,” you start talking, pointing out the church where the dinner is held. “Our first stop will be the general store—I need to pick up some earrings.”

Deuce seems perfectly happy to just listen to you talk, but you’re not one for carrying the conversation. “So, what brings you to this town anyway?” you ask as you step up on the front porch leading to the general store. “It’s not often new people wander through here and stay for longer than a few days. It’s been almost a week and a half, hasn’t it?”

“Just about,” Deuce confirms. “I’ve been trying to find a new place for me to live. I’ve stayed in my hometown for a very long time, and this little town seems very homey.”

You can’t help but feel a swell of pride in your chest at how he describes your hometown. “It is. All the townsfolk are like family. I’ve lived here all my life, and I can’t imagine being elsewhere.”

“You’re pretty young to own and run your own inn, I commend the work ethic,” Deuce compliments you. “What made you want to start it?’

And just like that, the warm feeling in your chest is replaced by painful memories. “Oh. Well, the inn was actually run by my family for generations. I just had to take over much sooner than expected. I don’t hate it though, meeting all the new people always makes me happy. Plus, I’m old enough.” You try to direct the conversation to a happier tone, and thankfully, Deuce seems to understand.

“I see.”

Before he can say anything else, the general shop owner approaches you with a smile. “Little bluejay, good to see you. Here to pick up your earrings?”

“Yes, sir,” you smile, leaning forward to give the old man a quick hug. “Hope business is doing well.”

“Good as always,” he replies happily. “Yunho came in with a new shipment, and brought his sweet wife along. Did you hear that they’re expecting already?”

“I did. Yunho and his family have lived here for generations, I’m pretty sure the Jeongs will be staying here for years to come as well.”

“Now that I can agree with,” Mr Jon agrees. “Now, here are your earrings. Straight from the East Coast.”

He hands you a package wrapped in linen, neatly tied with a pink ribbon. “Thank you kindly. I’ll be sure to wear them during the next dinner.”

Mr Jon raises an eyebrow. “You better. You didn’t pay a fortune for shipping just to not wear them. Now, anything else you’re looking for today? Or how about you, Mr…”

“You can call me Kim, no titles necessary,” Deuce offers. “I’m not looking for anything, really. YN is just showing me around.”

“I see.” The owner has a twinkle in his eye you pointedly ignore. “Well, have fun you two. And it was good to meet you, Kim.”

Quickly, you pull Deuce out of the general store, warmth rushing to your cheeks. “So that was the general store,” you change the topic. “We’ll go to the saloon next. Wooyoung is the owner and the pianist, and he knows everything about the town.”

“Sure, sure.” A pause. “Bluejay?”

You raise an eyebrow, meeting Deuce’s curious gaze. “Kim?”

“Okay, okay, fair. You have your secrets, I have mine,” Deuce concedes. “Earrings from the East Coast, huh?”

You snort, smacking at his shoulder. “As the front of house for the inn, I’m sure you understand I must always be presentable. Take it as a business expense.”

With a shake of his head, Deuce doesn’t push it any further. “I see, then. But you know, you’re pretty and presentable with or without earrings. Now, Miss Money, what is the plan for the saloon?” He changes the subject so smoothly you almost don’t catch his compliment.

Although heat rushes to your cheeks, you keep your demeanour cool. “I was thinking lunch. Wooyoung is the second best cook I’ve met, you know, with the hotel cook being number one, of course.”

Deuce chuckles. “Jisun is indeed phenomenal, so I will have to go into the saloon with high expectations.”

You shoot him a sly smile. “And I’m sure Wooyoung will exceed them. I have excellent taste, you know. After all, I did let you into my inn.”

“Not sure if letting a stranger pay for utmost privacy is in excellent taste, but I’ll take your word for it,” Deuce teases. “After all, it does benefit me.”

You raise an eyebrow in challenge. “That’s right, Mr Kim. Watch what you say. I could very well kick you out.”

Deuce chuckles. “Duly noted, Miss Bluejay.”

“What are you doing this evening?” Once again, you look up from your paperwork to see Deuce smiling at you. It’s become a common occurrence in the past few weeks for him to come sit by you while you worked on paperwork, but it’s a first that he has decided to initiate conversation.

“Nothing of importance. May I ask why?” You set down your pen to look at Deuce, noticing a hint of something you can’t place in his eyes. “Is something happening?”

Deuce winces at the tone of worry that leaks into your voice. “No, no, not at all. I was…I was just wondering. If you would like me to cook you dinner.”

You blink up at Deuce. “Cook me dinner?” you repeat blankly.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want me to! I just noticed you seemed to be a little more stressed these days and thought I could show you my appreciation for being so kind to me,” Deuce tries to redirect, waving his hands frantically. You don’t think you’ve seen him so flustered before, and the sight of it makes a smile slowly grow onto your face.

“I’d love that, Deuce. I do appreciate it.”

“Sit tight for a few hours for me, then, okay?”

As if his nervousness wasn’t even there in the first place, he throws you a wink before sauntering into the back. You’re not sure how he will convince your cook, but you’re willing to bet that Jisun would gladly take the time away from work to go visit her lover.

You know that you absolutely cannot focus on your paperwork, because every time you turn your eyes to the numbers, all you can see and hear is Deuce’s smile and the polite little giggle he offers you whenever you make a bad joke.

The curiosity you’ve had surrounding him has slowly morphed into attraction each passing day, despite the way you know next to nothing about him. But he’s never tried to harm you, and he’s only ever treated anyone he interacts with with the utmost kindness.

He is so ingrained in your thoughts right now that you don’t even notice the cloaked figure swiftly approaching your table. When your gaze finally raises, you’re met with the gleam of a knife pointed straight at your face and your heart drops into your stomach.

“I–”

You don’t even get to say anything before the knife is waved around menacingly and the figure tsks. “Just give me all the money!”

Your hands move under the desk, but the gun you usually keep there is missing, and belatedly you remember you put it in your room to clean it properly but forgot to put it back. “Uh–”

“Are you stupid?”

“No, but are you?” The words fall out of your mouth without you thinking. “I mean, trying to rob someone with a knife? What if I have a weapon under the counter? Or a gun? It wasn’t a very thought out plan, don’t you think?”

You’re running on autopilot, and the only thing keeping you going is hoping that Deuce would hear the commotion or finish his cooking soon enough and come help you. The door leading to the kitchen is out of the robber’s vision (yet another rookie mistake he made), and although you can’t see down the hall either you hope and pray you can stall for enough time.

After Deuce had paid you for his stay, you know you have enough money squirrelled away to cushion the robbery, but all sane thought has escaped you in this moment and all you want is Deuce’s presence.

“Just shut up, okay?” The thief yells, his grip tightening on the knife, knuckles white with strain.

You could see the beads of sweat on his brow, smell the stale odour of his breath. The air crackled with tension, thick and suffocating. Time seemed to slow to a crawl. Would Deuce appear in time?

Lost in your thoughts, a cold blade pressed against your throat, the sharp point a chilling reminder of the man’s presence. The metallic scent of blood flooded your brain, memories of a fateful day almost five years ago. Then, a deafening blast shattered the silence.

Instead of the stabbing you expect, all you hear is a gunshot and the residual ringing in your ears, deafening you for minutes before you finally muster up the courage to open your eyes.

A body is slumped onto the desk in front of you, blood pooling around the stranger’s head. Your jaw drops open, a soundless scream escaping you as your back stiffens. You can’t seem to take your eyes away from the body, even as warm arms wrap around your shoulders and the familiar presence of Deuce fills your senses.

“YN, look at me. YN.” He repeats himself a few more times until you finally are able to rip your eyes away and turn your head towards his direction. His voice is too calm, but you can see the pain in his eyes. “YN, are you okay? I need you to talk to me, okay?”

“He had a knife. He was going to stab me,” you say, although you don’t know if you’re even aware of what you are saying. “But who shot him?”

“I did, YN. I just wanted to keep you safe, okay? I’m sorry. I’ll buy you a new desk.”

You can’t help but bark out a short laugh, but the outlandishness of that statement brings your mental back just the little bit that you needed. “That’s what you’re worried about? I don’t care, Deuce. You saved me from a pretty nasty fate back there.”

He nods, although the worry in his eyes doesn’t cease. “Let’s go get the sheriff, okay? I already told Jisun not to let the guests downstairs in the meantime, okay?”

You nod. “Okay…will you talk to me though? Anything, really. Just to keep my mind off of it. Please, Deuce.”

Deuce sighs. “I suppose. You know, my nickname is Deuce because in my town, I was a sheriff, and I always wielded two pistols. I don’t think my people were very good at titles, but the name stuck, and now it’s like a piece of home that I carry with me everywhere I go.”

“It suits you, I think,” you state, looking up at him with wide eyes. “I like it.”

If you squinted, you swear you saw redness appear at the tips of his ears, but you’re not sure if you’re just imagining it. “Thank you, darlin’. It means a lot coming from a pretty lady like you.” Deuce offers a half-smile.

You chew on your lower lip for a minute before sighing. “I also have a story behind Bluejay, as I’m sure you’ve heard the villagers call me. When I was younger, my parents ran the inn. I actually wasn’t supposed to run it until I got married or turned thirty. But one day, there were bandits who came roaring through.”

The memory makes you shudder, and Deuce rubs your shoulder comfortingly. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to…”

“No, I should.” You shake your head with resolve. “I’ve kept it under wraps for so long, what better time to spill my dark secrets. The sheriff, Mingi’s father at the time, was away on county business and Mingi had only just become the deputy at that time. There wasn’t much he could do. They raided everything. Seonghwa’s parents were killed in the raid. As…as were mine.

“But when they decided to make me their next ransom victim, I was in such shock, I couldn’t do anything but talk. And talk I did. I didn’t shut up, no matter how hard they tried to make me shut up.” You let out a mirthless laugh. “In the end, it bought me enough time that Mingi was able to gather enough men to save me.”

“YN…”

“Well, there’s my life trauma for you to unpack. I hope I didn’t scare you away from staying at my inn.”

“YN. I wanted to cook dinner for you. Hell, I shot a man for you. I think I should be more worried about you being scared of me.” Deuce shakes his head fondly. “Come on, we’re almost at the sheriff’s. Let’s get this behind us and have that squash soup I slaved over.”

As he leads you up to the sheriff’s office, he pauses. “Deuce?” you question, and his eyes twinkle as he looks up at you.

“I’m glad you’re safe, Bluejay.”

“Hello,” you greet the newcomer. You’re vaguely surprised another mysterious person has come within six months of Deuce just as late as he had, although at this point he’s just as much of a part of this town as you are, even though his name is still unknown to you. “How can I help you?”

“Can I have a room?” Jumping straight into business, huh. Reminds you of a certain someone you’re keeping at your inn. You look up and down the young lady carefully. She looks like trouble, with a large gun and a pointed wooden stick by her side, but you couldn’t bring yourself to turn away a guest.

“It’s a dollar for the night. Twenty-five cents more if you want hot water, but you have to go to the pump yourself to get it,” you say, looking down into your ledger and marking out a room for her. Not many other guests in town, so you take the liberty of placing her further away from Deuce’s place of residence.

As you’re preparing her keys, she continues talking as if you were interested in a conversation with her. “I’m a bounty hunter…have you seen this outlaw? Kim Hongjoong? Miss…”

“The townspeople call me Bluejay,” you offer her your alias, unwilling to give your proper name to a bounty hunter. Taking a glance at the poster, you struggle to keep your face calm, and pray to God that you succeeded. Your own guest, Deuce…no. Kim Hongjoong stares right back at you on her poster. There’s something fishy going on with him, but you don’t want to jump to conclusions, and although it may be a bad idea, you resolve to keep him safe. “Never heard of him. Sign here, and I’ll give you the key to your room.”

With a hasty scribble, the new guest writes down her alias. Red Hawk. Before you can say anything else, she throws down a few crumpled bills totalling ten dollars. “I don’t know how long I’ll be in town. Call that a downpayment on my room.”

“Be my guest,” you hum. How it played out was amusingly similar to how Deuce paid for his own room. “Your room is on the first floor, straight down the hallway.”

You carefully watch her retreating back, and as soon as she disappears, you turn around and start heading towards Deuce…no, Hongjoong’s room. You may not have blown his cover, but now he owes you some explanation. You don’t want to host an outlaw at your inn without good reason.

Quietly, carefully, you make your way up to the third floor and knock on his room. There’s a long moment where you’re not even sure if he’s actually in, but soon a soft “come in” is heard and you swing the door open.

“Hey, I need to talk–”

Mid-sentence, your brain decides to short-circuit at the sight of Hongjoong’s waist. It wasn’t a very long glimpse, the cowboy in the midst of putting his shirt on, but you’re a proper young lady. You’re not usually in such situations.

But first things first. You shake your head, ridding yourself of such thoughts. “What’s up, YN?” Hongjoong’s voice helps to bring you back to reality. “Did you need to tell me something?”

“Right. Look. Someone—a bounty hunter—came in…and they showed me your Wanted poster. I don’t think I can house a true outlaw, no matter how kind and peaceful they have been. But I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. I just want you to explain. Hongjoong, right?”

Hongjoong’s smile appears much more strained, but yet again, it does not falter. “I suppose I owe you a story, then. Why don’t you have a seat?”

You carefully make your way over to the bed, sitting down and waiting for Hongjoong to start his story.

“Now,” Hongjoong starts, “you’re not obligated to believe me, but I swear on my mother’s grave whatever I say is the truth. I once was a sheriff in my own right as you know. I kept my town safe. But the more outlaws and robbers and kidnappers I put behind bars, the more they held grudges. In the end, they framed me and I had to go on the run. If I stayed to wait for a trial, they would’ve won. The lawforce was weak without me. Now I’m just playing the long game to wait for my name to be cleared.”

You frown, leaning forward. “But why would the bounty hunter be hunting you? They’re not bound to a law, why would she try and capture you? Aren’t you basically the same as her now?”

Hongjoong shrugs. “Yes, well, bounty hunters need to make money somehow. Maybe she’s been on a long stretch of no bounties, maybe she’s stuck on a different trail and I might be some easy cash. But the hunters never stay in one spot for too long. I’m sure it’ll be within the week I can be less wary. And I can leave the town if you’re still not comfortable with keeping me here. I don’t want to cause any trouble.”

You sigh, leaning back, much more relaxed. “Look, I’ll be straight with you, Hongjoong. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, and to the townsfolk. I can’t see any issue with continuing to house you. It also doesn’t seem like your case is widespread, as the sheriff hasn’t said anything about it and the hunter’s wanted poster was the first I’ve seen of you. I’ll keep your secrets. You…you’re important to me.”

There’s a pregnant pause before Hongjoong’s expression shifts to one of relief, and before you can react, he wraps you into a hug. “Thank you,” he sighs, his chest heaving with a breath of relief. “I know I try to sound cool all the time, but it has been weighing on my chest. As I got closer to you, I didn’t want to keep secrets, but I was scared of how you would react.”

You laugh, letting your body relax against his. “Hongjoong, I think we’ve been through enough that you don’t have to be worried about how I react to things like this. But why don’t you talk to Mingi about this? I’m sure he can work to have your name cleared without needing to put you behind bars. And he’s fond of you too.”

Hongjoong chuckles. “He’s fond of me because I’m not scared of killing scorpions. How a guy can be a sheriff but too scared to sweep a bug out of the house is beyond me.”

“Hey, now, Mingi could be your next chance of getting your name cleared. Let’s not bully the guy if he’s not even here.”

You can feel his shrug as Hongjoong sighs. “Fair. There’s something else I’d much rather do, anyway.”

“Oh? And what is that?”

Without warning, Hongjoong positions himself to face you so close that you can feel his breath on your lips. “I’d like to kiss you senseless.”

He’s waiting for your response, but instead of gracing him with one, you lean forward and let your mouth lightly brush against his. As if you unlocked a new side of Hongjoong, he immediately deepens the kiss and his hands move up to cup your face, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs.

A long moment passes before the two of you finally part, lips red and swollen like you’ve been kissing for hours. “Been waiting to do that, you know. Ever since that lunch you took me out on my first two weeks here,” Hongjoong admits. “But I just want to make sure you know what you’re getting into.”

You heave a sigh. “This is the absolute worst timing to bring this up, Hongjoong, but the answer is yes. I know what this entails. A time of uncertainty until your name is cleared. But I don’t care about that. Any relationship comes with trials, and this is just one of them. I’ll stay supporting you, as long as you do the same for me. Okay?”

“Okay,” Hongjoong confirms softly, eyes glistening as he leans in again. “Okay, YN. I’ll have you as long as you’ll have me.”

“And I will have you. Gladly. Now, can we continue?” Your hand trails down Hongjoong’s chest and as he presses his lips against yours, you can feel the smirk forming on his face.

“I believe we can.”

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cripplecharacters · 3 months ago

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oh yeah another question abt intellectual disability: what do people with moderate id speak like? i assume they wouldnt be perfectly articulate but i know making them talk like cavemen would be bad too. i do want it to be clear that they have language difficulties, but im not sure how to do that realistically. so what kinds of grammar errors are actually common? would it make sense to have them mix up words with similar pronunciation, or have difficulty discerning the differences in implications between words with similar meanings (like "pretty" vs "attractive")? do people with id ever 'imagine context' the way people(well, me) do when half-asleep where the brain mishears a statement as something completely unrelated? would spatial and situational awareness be impaired? also this is kind of a different question but if you can give advice on what to do with game mechanics for an id character in an rpg, that would be nice! i already have the stats figured out for every character and theres no stat that i think would be strongly affected by id but in terms of depicted fighting style and other mechanics maybe thered be some stuff informed by it (i cant do anything too complex though, im using rpg maker vx ace). idk! im spitballing here. main thing i need to know is how to write dialogue for a character with id ^_^

Hi! We have a post somewhat about this that you might find useful, I'll try to go over the other questions below!

Keep in mind my ID is mild (and on the milder side of that) so my answer will be all second-hand knowledge from talking to people with moderate ID in my SPED years.

A lot of it will depend on what condition causes they have. People with Williams syndrome have very “normal” verbal skills majority of the time and you can't really tell in my experience. On the other hand if they're autistic you can potentially guess from the tone of the voice e.g. they speak in a very loud and monotone way. People with Down syndrome are very likely to have a speech disorder, someone with cerebral palsy might slur their words, etc.

A lot of people with ID might be less talkative than your average person (there's definitely exceptions). So your character could use shorter sentences, simple sentences (in the grammar sense), prefer to use other forms of communication for things that don't require speech (e.g., nodding instead of saying “Yes, I agree”, or doing a thumbs up, etc.), or have to be prompted to actually answer/take part in the conversation.

I personally don't recall ever hearing the “mixing words with similar pronunciation” in someone's actual speech, maybe unless they learned the language from reading rather than hearing it? If that's the case, then ID could affect their speech more than if they didn't have it, otherwise I'd assume that the character might have brain damage or is maybe hard of hearing and simply mixes them up because they can't recognize/hear the difference between them.

Mixing words based on specific meaning makes much more sense in my opinion (probably because I do that myself lol). Synonyms or words that might make sense in one context but not the other are the worst. Your example here is great! When someone has ID they might take away the wrong meaning out of a word and use it incorrectly because of that. E.g., their parents used to take them camping to a forest with lots of bugs, they don't like bugs, they can later call something “foresty” to mean “with lots of bugs” even if it doesn't have much to do with an actual forest. This might make more sense for a character with more severe ID (or if they're just young) but using “attractive” when you'd normally say “pretty” makes sense for someone with moderate ID in my opinion.

Something that can also affect speech of someone with ID is word repetition. Not really in the echolalia sense (though it can be that too) but just using stock phrases that get repetitive over time. I try to edit it out from my posts but you can still kinda see it. For some people it will be ending most sentences with the same word, for someone else it will be starting two paragraphs with the same three words without realizing even though they're right next to each other or overusing “maybe” and “if” to start sentences.

As for the “imagining context” while mishearing something, I'm not sure if I know what you mean by it so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I don't do it lol

Situational awareness is definitely impacted for all people with ID but to different degrees. I don't know if it's part of the diagnostic criteria but it might as well be. When the person's ID is mild it might look like someone who's just kinda unaware of what goes around them, maybe don't recognize that they're doing something that could end up badly. The more severe the intellectual disability the more obvious it is, the person might elope (wander off) and not be able to find their way back, not be able to use cooking utensils safely because they don't recognize the risks in real time (not really in the “not realizing that the knife is sharp” way if they have moderate ID, more like “not realizing that you need to be careful when putting things on hot oil or you can get burned”), assuming that people are automatically safe to be around, things like that.

Spatial awareness doesn't affect everyone, but one of the biggest comorbidities of ID is dyspraxia, which does affect it a lot. There are people with mild ID with severe dyspraxia, and severely ID people with no dyspraxia. It varies.

Unfortunately I have never played any RPGS and I'm not really familiar with the mechanics. Here's an old ask about intellectually disabled characters engaged in combat, hopefully it's useful?

If you want some real-life resources for hearing how intellectually disabled people talk, I really recommend this playlist. It's a bunch of interviews with people with Down syndrome and you can see that they're all very different from each other despite having the same disability.

I hope this helps! mod Sasza

#mod sasza #anonymous #intellectual disability representation

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kingshovelbug · 6 months ago

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Hii what is your best advice to younger adults trying to make it independently and make a living? In art, savings or anything you think of. Thank you in advance!

dont be too hard on yourself. its tough out there right now in regards to like everything regardless of what old people say. also this is going to be a lot so im slapping a read more on here

⭐️ first thing id recommend for anyone is to start figuring out a budget. figure out how much youre making monthly. keep all your food receipts for a month or two to see what youre spending on food. find out what youre paying for thats necessary like utilities and whats not

the goal for a budget (or at least mine) is to find a good balance of earning vs spending. im paying off my credit card right now because i ran through all my savings after we had to move last year but my goal used to be to save 1/4 of what i earned after bills and putting money into an emergency fund (usually an emergency fund is 3 months worth of expenses). but it depends on how much you can comfortably put away. if you can put more away do it. but if you never spend money and deprive yourself of joy youre going to burn yourself out regardless of what your job is

⭐️ if youre not already buy store brand for as much shit as you can. if its an ingredient i promise as someone who cooks and bakes you probably wont notice the difference. if its an actual snack it depends. again both from a money perspective and to boycott pro-isreal companies we get a lot of snacks from aldis and theyre awesome. i dont miss anything from mars, oreos etc when i have my chocolate coconut wafers

⭐️ if you have any subscriptions and you need to get rid of something you can probably cancel them. for *most* things theres some kind of free alternative. but again just like with a budget. there are going to be some subscriptions that make your life easier and while youd save money without them it would lead to extra work and burning out. ex willow has kofi gold because it has really cool extra features that help with running the shop. but for streaming services? im going to be so honest. both to save money and with how cheeky streaming companies (in a bad way) have been getting… you can find whatever you want to watch online for free

if you need to use anything from the microsoft office suite, but youre not required by youre job to specifically use microsoft, libreoffice is a free alternative that i actually like better. its what i use to help willow run their shop and its free

for art programs. if you still have photoshop switch. not just for money reasons. adobe is getting bold with what they can claim as their content and use from what people produce in their program. the switch isnt the easiest but there are a bunch of alternatives. some free some like csp offer one time licenses which are so much better than subscriptions. will has spent almost $2k on photoshop and after effects from using it as long as they have. when csp is $50 and they like csp better anyways. i also know of krita and fire alpaca which are free

⭐️ also theres stuff about being an adult that i thought you had to pay for but you dont? like for car insurance i went through an independent insurance agent and they found me a cheaper plan than i could find myself. i didnt pay the guy. they get a cut from the insurance company for finding them another customer. some banks or credit cards offer financial advising sessions to users. its boring but if you can get a copy of your health insurance see if they have any free shit on there thats available for you. my brother gets free doctor finding? like i can call them, tell them what specialist he needs and instead of me calling around to find one that can take him, they connect me with someone. my work offers 3 free therapy sessions (better than nothing) and free food that i take advantage of

⭐️ i think one of the biggest things that makes an impact for us is researching before buying stuff. sounds like a no brainer but you dont just want to find the cheapest deal. you want to find the best bargain, the best bang for your buck. whats the best quality thing you can get that you can also afford? itll prevent your from having to replace stuff all the time and by extension spending more than you need to. we have nonstick pots and pans that are scratched and starting to peel (which apparently can cause cancer??) that were cheap because of being on sale. now after looking into what makes quality cookware i know i should of just slowly bought stainless steel

⭐️ last big one. credit cards. unfortunately we need them so find one with a low apr and that offers decent cash back. use it up to like 20% of your limit and pay it off every month. focus on using it on things that will get you cash back so you can essentially get free money

im sure i could ramble more but this is already super long

#asks #anon

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blossomthepinkbunny · 8 months ago

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Not a lot of variety in Hazbin Hotel

Another thing I dislike about Hazbin Hotel is the genuine lack of diversity.

With a setting like Hell you have the amazing opportunity to have characters from so many different time periods interact. With different fashion, different skills, different believes or upbringings it's incredibly easy to make characters that stand apart from eachother and create conflict (atleast it should be).

But with Vivzepops disinterest in making characters that even slightly stray away from the specific way she likes to write them, a lot of them end up blending together in how they act/look. Hazbin Hotel has this pretended diversity, where it seems like the cast should vary because on the surface they are very different, but in the show they blend together. This is because Vivzepop throws around different jobs, sexualities, nationalities, goals and inspirations for her characters, but never puts in the work to make them feel like it.

Sir Pentious, Alastor and Vox are all from different times, with different occupations. Sir Pentious was an inventor in the 1880s, Alastor was a radio host from the 1930s and Vox was a TV show host from 1950 (that's the era they died in). Yet they all wear very similar suits, just colour shifted. They all have shoulder pads, the same lapels, stripes and bowties. Alastor and Vox even wear the same pants and have the same shoes (atleast in shape).

Not to mention that in almost all of the designs there's that obnoxious red colour (especially with the red-black-white combination she just loves to put on her creations).

Even characters like Vox who seem like they have different colours (for him a mostly blue colour sceme) still have red accents and only very few characters are allowed designs without any red. Which is not that great since the background is also mostly red and it just hurts to look at sometimes.

Theres also all of the "typical" Vivzepop desing traits. Mostly sharp shapes and features, very slim bodies, sharp teeth, tophats, suits etc. A lot of her characters already blend together even though it doesnt make sense for them to. Would an inventor from the 1880s really dress the same as a TV show host from the 1950s?

Here I should mention that I don't mean blend together as in being completely indistinguishable from eachother but rather having too many similarities that it doesn't make sense for them to have.

As far as personality goes I do have to say that the characters are different enough in their basic chatacterizations. Vaggie especially was mostly refreshing because she acted as a voice of reason sort of and Charlie with her often naive (but very childish) attitude also stood out. But the devil is usually in the details.

I've heard people complain countless times about how pretty much the only continuous joke the show has is a character cursing, insulting others or making a sex joke. I get that cynical characters are sort of the appeal of HH but there's also just a lack of variety there for me. This is probably just a small nitpick here and something that is already done sometimes in the show, but there are different ways a person can be insulting and mean.

Like, for Husk it makes sense to be so up-front with being rude. He's a bartender and dealing with drunk people often requires being very clear and assertive.

But why does Angel never get to do anything else then directly talking about being sexy and making fun of others in such an obvious way. I think they wanted to give the appeal of him reading someone like a drag queen would but he just makes the same observations again and again and not in really clever ways (from what I remember!).

Alastor and Vox could've also been used better in the sense that atleast from what I know people in the entertainment industry (especially ones who do interviews or that stuff) won't directly tell someone that they don't like them. It's much more common for them to bring it up in small ways, like asking a question tied to an embarrassing topic to force the person into having to talk about that stuff.

Like I said this isn't really all too important though. What makes me more annoyed is the lack of diversity when it comes to the villains and how they're treated.

To me Viv has an issue with trying for every villain to play a more goofy role even though it doesn't always fit. Of course you can have "stupid" or silly and mostly funny villains but that shouldn't be every single one. When there are multiple villains in a show what makes them interesting is often how they differ from the others in their attitude and motivation and in HH we just don't really get that.

Sir pentious is never taken seriously as a threat and is mostly treated as incompetend, (I know he gets out of being the villain rather quick but even before that) Adam is just constantly portrayed as a dumb and irrational until we are supposed to take him seriously in the end. Vox doesn't do anything in the show apart from be kinda antagonistic towards Alastor and outside of that he is mainly also presented as being a fun villain rather than an intimidating one (very prominently in the song he has with Alastor where Alastor just completely bashes him at the end). Velvette also has nothing to do. Lucifer isn't treated as an antagonist (even though he should be in my opinion) and is shown to be just a "goofy and silly little guy" ig.

And apart from Valentino's genuinely terrifing scene he has with Angel Dust in episode four, he too is shown to be whiny, obnoxious and mostly dumb in his other scenes (this isn't helped by Viv pushing the idea that the Vee's are just like fun little saturday morning cartoon villains outside of the show). I guess Alastor is different in that regard kinda.

This plus the fact that outside of the characters who are obviously villains no one is allowed to be even slightly critical of Charlies idea without being presented as totally irrational, makes for no variety when it comes to the opposition in Hazbin Hotel. It's just kinda dissapointing to me that a show with this opportunity to create different characters gets stuck in the same conflicts and ideas over and over again.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel criticism #vivzepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #vivziepop

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mamadarama · 3 months ago

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Just curious on your opinion here do you have any thoughts on the way Madara is being written? Recently I came to the realization that enstars writers aren't all that great,, and I notice that Madara at least in my opinion has had very little development and progression as a character but I'm genuinely hoping I'm wrong but I don't see much difference. And I do hope I'm wrong cuz I definitely haven't read every single story ever in Enstars and it could just really be Madara's character but it feels like he hasn't budged an inch and when DF rolled around it seems like he's gonna progress only for the writers to make him wanna split up literal months after (SS) and it was fine the first time since we explored that part of his character but right after that we got the Spring event and he's?? Back on his bullshit as if whatever happened during Secret Service didn't have much impact. And I do understand his character and all but I often wonder how much of that is just his character (immovable mountain with deep roots that will take years of continuous effort to move) or just the writers half assing because they can't think of a more compelling narrative for double face other than Madara wanting a breakup. It's especially sad to me with Last Mission because as much as I can understand DF being temporary and meant to end, it feels like nothing has changed in Madara during !! Era. I'm hoping that new gen Madara can change that since he's already featured in the new shuffle and scout story, and it does look like he's changing the vibes a little. Idk what are your thoughts and genuinely no hate here I love Madara and I'd love to hear your opinion :)

i think the writers do a pretty good job with the story actually !! i ended up spending a few hours writing like 3 pages of stuff so this one gets a readmore ^^;

theres a tldr at the end though if you dont wanna hear me talk in circles like some kind of maniac (understandable i dont either)

at this point madaras story is a tragedy and hes not really supposed to be a satisfying character . youre supposed to be some degree of frustrated with him like all the other characters are. the story isnt over yet though and maybe he will get a satisfying happy ending someday , but this is all buildup. having madara go through negative character development while the rest of the 3rd years have significant positive character development puts emphasis on one of the main points of his character: you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped . shu wanted to become more empathetic. eichi wanted to unlearn his bitterness. kaoru wanted to leave his playboy reputation behind. izumi wanted to learn to control his emotions . madara has two sides to him that refuse to coexist— anger and misery. the angry side of him has given up on himself and leans into his perceived role as a villain because he believes alienating his friends is the only way to save them and for once be the hero. the miserable side of him is the sad and "selfish" part that keeps him returning to his friends again and again despite believing hes a bad influence on them, because he still seeks acknowledgment and praise from others and doesnt want to believe its too late for him. he bounces between these like a metronome . (maybe thats another layer of reasoning behind double faces name, idk) so, he doesnt know if he wants to be helped. he thinks he doesnt deserve it. pulling someone out of a ditch that deep requires some legwork on their part too, and if they wont put in that legwork, well... then there's nothing you can do. madara isnt quite a rooted mountain that takes a long time to move... hes more like an injured tiger pacing in its pit , so fixated on looking for a way out that it wont look up and see the entire top is open where its keepers are waiting to take it out and treat its wounds . now suppose this tiger is sentient enough to worry it might hurt someone on impulse when the disinfectant stings its wounds. additionally, lets say the tigers wounds came from falling and cutting itself on something in its habitat while making a risky jump , and it believes it deserves to be hurt for such a stupid misjudgment. so even when it notices the top of the pit is open, it will continue pacing pretending like it didnt. thats where madara is at right now .

madara broke up double face partly out of self sabotage, and partly out of a twisted attempt to "save" kohaku from him. kohaku and madara are an interesting contrast because their characters are set up in a very similar way. the difference between them is that kohaku doesnt hate himself even close to as much as madara does, and as a result he IS getting better. kohaku believes hes always going to be part of the underbelly of society doing dirty work and hes resolved to that like madara is, but he doesnt believe that means he has to do it alone . he acknowledges that hes not alone, he has the rest of alkakurei, the sweets club, jun, his sisters and tsukasa.... and madara. the first part of beating loneliness is recognizing youre not alone. madara thinks no one understands him (which in itself is its own kind of loneliness) and that if his friends understood "what he really is", they wouldnt love him. so in a way their presence eases one kind of loneliness and reinforces another. in his mind the only person who understands him is himself and therefore the only one who can save people from himself is also him.

theres a scene in last mission where madara says his reason for disbanding double face is something along the lines of wanting kohaku to live where he can feel the sun on him , and kohaku asks "what about my feelings?" . that pretty much sums up madaras entire thought process and why he isnt making any positive progress .

tldr; madara does have character development between es! and es!! , but its not positive. to have such a stubborn self loathing character make positive progress without a slow burn of warring with themself and dragging their feet would soften those traits. they want him to stand out and make you to go "ohh ok so this guy is MISERABLE miserable" .

so anyways i dont think its lazy writing its just character loyalty. but the fact that you noticed all that means youre reading him the way hes intended to be read. so congratulations!! you now understand what its like to be kohaku oukawa :) if he does get positive character development i hope its really slow though cuz if its too fast it would feel kinda abrupt. it needs to feel like hes fighting the writers for it to truly be madara

#ask #anon #whiteboard

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dungeonmeshi-confessions · 3 months ago

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I wanna do more kabumisu positivity following that other anon. it really brightened my day so much.

bc really I dont want to bash other ships to lift mine up!!! and I actually also really love and respect labru, and know the majority of labru shippers arent Like That, just like most kabumisu shippers arent Like That. every group has some annoying, loud, opinionated people and they dont represent the average person who likes the ship, you know? I would love to see some labrus follow suit and send in some positivity as well!!! If the positivity keeps going I will come in here and post all my fave things about labru, labru art, and labru shippers as a kabumisu. lets ditch the bitching and hold hands instead!

anyway, some reasons I really love kabumisu

- as a neurodivergent disabled person dating another neurodivergent person, this is like. THE couple to me. and like its not just about mithrun being taken care of. taking care of mithrun actively helps kabru be more mindful of his own needs. In my life, I may struggle to feed myself, but I can make breakfast if my partner is hungry. other times she may do the same for me, it depends on who is doing worse.

-they both struggle with insomnia also

-from everything we've seen, pre-dungeon mithrun wasn't entirely dissimilar to kabru (high masking people pleaser) and thats Fascinating to me.

-kabru's job seems pretty stressful (no matter how much fulfillment it brings him, its a lot of responsibility for one person!) so I feel like coming home to that one guy he can take his mask off around and not even have to try and impress must be such a huge relief. also add mithrun with cooking experience to this, making kabru a nice meal after a long day of work.

-Mithrun is actually very perceptive and sees straight through kabru's bs multiple times and doesn't hesitate to call him out. Laios isnt the only character that forces kabru to be honest. ("unless theres someone else?" "theres someone you want to tell that story to.") mithrun is also the one who gives kabru the information he's been seeking this whole time.

-I am very interested in exploring mithruns whole desire situation. what desires does he gain? I think it is probably a lot of little ones that weave together. oh also I think sometimes things may seem more mithrun centric bc in any story where he is going to end up in a relationship he is going to have a much more dynamic arc than whoever he is paired with. literally dynamic as in like. he requires a lot more growth to achieve the outcome. and there are ways to skip it or gloss through it but. a lot of these stories require that in some way you show the progress has happened.

-to me, kabumisu is more often queeplatonic than romantic. but Im aroace so that could just be my aroace glasses. ALSO kabru is vaguely aro to me. you mean the guy thats super desirable that doesnt really seem interested in anyone particular outside of pursuing friendship? that guy? (also the way he did rin omfg)

-random but I dont think kabrus PTSD is talked about enough and also like the extent of his trauma. its not just utaya/monsters/his mom dying; its being raised by a single mother, its his blue eyes, its being adopted, its being raised by an elf, etc!!!! a lot of things he does bc of ptsd get attributed to autism (I also hc kabru as autistic, and some is symptom overlap. but it is secondary to the ptsd! he is traumatized first and foremost ty) I really love kabru so much. ty for the ptsd rep <3

-also out here to say I know an amount of kabumisu content is mithrun centric. I will tell you from my pov specifically though its bc I deeply relate to mithrun (as someone who once told a therapist many years ago I desired nothing and truly meant it. she said I was like a puppet without strings. of course I saw mithrun and was like. oh.) and Im in love with kabru. kabru reminds me of all the people who gave me a reason to pull through. people who saw good in me and treated me like a person when I didnt feel like one. I also really relate to kabru though as someone with complex trauma, even if my traumas are not the same. thats why I say I think not enough is attributed to his ptsd. anyway, once I just opened a notebook and wrote kabrus name over and over again with hearts. I have never done this to mithrun. so dont tell me kabumisus dont like kabru !!!

-kabru and mithrun are both so gender. Ive seen so many variants on their gender and gender expression in the ship. some people hate this and insist they must be one way or the other. I think theyre neat lots of different ways. I love when theyre both feminine men. I love when mithrun is super masc. I love when theyre butch4butch. I love when theyre both trans. and so much more. its all beautiful. a very good variety of food. the other day on my dash I had a tallman art of mithrun with the biggest tits imaginable and the very next post he was like a little porcelain doll. keep up the good work guys. I love you.

#dungeon meshi confessions #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi

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cerberus-new-owner · 3 months ago

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it'sssssssss tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime

Barbie Doll and Diablo

(as my friend likes to call them lol)

it took me a good few days of day dreming about barbs and scrolling through the barbatos tags (and the simeon and solomon tags) to acctually get the motivation for this soooooo here it issss

Part 1 - The Brothers Part 2 - The Angels + Solomon Part 3 - Diavolo + Barbatos

WEE WOO WEE WOO Content Warningggggsss: Darbatos and Diavolo are implied to be dating mc but it CAN be taken as platonic, GN!mc, maybe like a teensy tiny bit suggestive idk i do these before i write the hcs, could be ooc (i've never written for either of them, i dont think so atleast), mention of mamms and asmo but only tiny after thought type stuff i think

the energy is pumpinggggggg and the headcannon drabble things are a flowin'

Barbatos

w/ out mc - does not sleep, will only sleep if diavolo orders him to and if any of you have seen my take on the brothers sleeping he is the same as luci, but instead of the brothers having to be kept in line its the demon prince who does his best to sneak out when he thinks the butlers guard has been lowered enough to do so, other than that i do belive barbatos if tired enough will fall asleep standing continuing to do what ever job he was doing around the castle occsionally finishing all of his tasks whilst alseep (dia and the little d's take bets to see how far through his list barbatos can go before waking up again so far little d no. 2 and diavolo have the most wins) i also think barbatos will sleep walk into diavolos office on ocassion and just stand there like he would if diavolo was having a meeting with lucifer or mephi (i dont know how to spell his name someone help please) also no fan or ac or anything in his room im fairly sure his tail has / would have some form of protective slime kind stuff on it and that drying out would require a few weeks worth (and a couple thousands invested) of lotion applied every few like hours (it'd be like lipbalm or gloss on crusty dry craked up lips)

w/ mc - now with mc and diavolo trying to get him to sleep more often its a much bigger challenge for barbatos to deny going to sleep therefore he goes to sleep more often, with mc around the little d's and diavolo can't make as many bets on barbs work sleep habits so the bets have changed to how long will it take for mc to notice that barbs fell asleep again / how many chores can barbs get through before mc guides him back to his room and takes over barbs creepy standing in dia's office has stopped and been replced with a slight restlessness in his sleep (beware mc for he may kick), and mc better beware of the tail it's 100% getting wrapped around them as they sleep it will be cold it will be slimy it will be slightly gross and it will soak any and all sleep clothes (can't tell me barbs doesn't find enjoyment in feeling how mc jumps as they wake up suddenly due to how cold and wet his tail is 'whats wrong little lamb? did i accidently wake you during your slumber') still no fan or anything by the way not unless you want to be the one applying lotion to his tail every hour (bonus sleepy cuddly barbs like early sunday morning look like shiz and gotta get up but partner is still sleep and gooooodddd they look cute sleeping and don't wanna disturb the peace and then the overgrown toddler with daddy issues barges in asking for breakfast because he was a second late to waking him up saying theres pancakes if he does all his paperwork in which barbs does not remember saying at all (it was all a dream that dia thought was real) and waking mc up, gosh dang it now i gots ideas for another fic from these things)

Diavolo

w/ out mc - another sea creature guess what it isssss, thats right! its a starfishhhhhh, mans has a massive bed cant tell me he doesn't starfish accross it wings out and everything, thinking of wings.... wings can be blankie, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand like beel he. is. a. heater. no need for blankets when have wings and are heater, he snores and sleep talks majority of his sleep talking is telling dream barbs that dream him wasn't trying to escape his duties or saying those really creepy things that alot of people who sleep talk say in their sleep something like idk 'doont go in the closet' and it'd be like right as mammons trying to find secret treasure in the castle and somehow ended up in dias room and is about to open the closet

w/ mc - still sprawled out but don't worry mc he left space for you (in his arms) still a heater be prepared to wear your summer sleep clothes in the middle of winter (or sleep au natural like asmo probably does) he still snores and sleep talks pretty much the same as before also refuses to get up in the morning (mans went to bed late let him sleep in and get his sleepy morning cuddles before barbs comes in and says theres pancakes if he does all his paperwork before 9am the drem stirkes again 'but barbatos i got all my paperwork done before nine and pancakes sound good and the dream felt way too real for it to be just a dream, come on love you had to of heard barbatos say something about breakfast being pancakes today surely' dont break his heart help him gaslight barabtos instead/hj)

That ws fuunnnnnnnnnnn

btw quick little tiny baby question would people perhaps be interested in perhaps me writing a little bit more for barbs and/or simeon maybeeeeeee (the inspiration hit and oh mah lordy loorrrrrd it is difficlt to not want to write more about themm) (btw dont really care how many of you answer yes or no im probably gonna do it anyways)

alsoooo i will gladly accept requests for more headcannon drabbley things for other stiuations if anyone has any ideas, (i don't really do full on fics btw)

other than that i hope you all have a great day, afternoon, night, morning, tea, door, pencil and thank you for reading (i hope it was as fun to read as it was to write) MasterList thingy-o

#obey me swd #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me headcanons #obey me mc #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #obey me x mc

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lawliet-ryuzaki-ryuga · 11 months ago

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Chapter 7 ( L X Reader)

ANALYZER

WC: 1061

MASTERLIST

-Chapter 6

A/N: AHHHH IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING FOREVER TO UPDATE!!!! I HAD SO MUCH GOING ON IN MY LIFE, TO HAVING WRITTERS BLOCK FOR THIS STORY TO HAVING TO WATCH DEATH NOTE A BILLION TIMES AGAIN TO GET NEW IDEAS! FORGIVE ME! i hope y'all enjoy and let me know what you guys think about this chapter!!!!

Though L had told me he was going to make more time in which we would be able to meet and just get to know one another, but given the situation that we are in, time isn’t in our favor. I’ve been watching the 24/7 surveillance footage we have on yotsoba meetings. I have grown tired of hearing plan after plan, after plan. The Only real interaction or meet was when we would go eat.

“Mmm i think i like the creme brulee cheesecake over your black forest cake.” I mumble as i take another bite of my slice of cake. L on the other hand is just taking chunks out of every slice in front of him.

“ I just enjoy the taste of sugar.” L mumbles with his mouth full.

“ The point of trying cakes is to taste the flavors.”

“ I like sugar.”

“ you said that already.”

“ Then let us discuss something you haven’t heard before Y/N/N. Tell me, how do you think Kira kills? given how much you’ve watched these recordings, i trust that you would be able to come up with a conclusion.`` L leads the conversation.

“ Ryuzaki we said nothing about the case.”

“My apologies, I can’t help but think about anything else.” L rubs his pointer and thumb together as he rolls around the sugar sprinkles, before sucking the sugar off his fingers.

“ Fine, during the meetings theres a lot of numbers, days and ways on how one might be killed or die. There can be a few options all of which cannot be described without some type of supernatural power. One being they, Kira, speaks it into existence.. But that would require some type of God who can do such things. The Other thing is writing it down. Now this one more specifically is what caught my attention. During all the meetings, everyone had a notebook and a pen in front of them but none were used. Except for one, Higuchi . He fiddles with a pen often, and his pen is the only one that’s different from the rest. Indicating it's personal, and this item alone holds some time of significant use to him. Fiddling with the pen can express confidence or the depiction of some type of power.. But again, if he is writing it down, then how do the deaths occur? Unless something of supernatural power is in charge.” I explain before picking up a cheesecake slice and taking a small cut from the end of the slice.

“ Are you saying something of a shinigami? I have to say I’ll be disappointed, as they are nothing but some folklore.” L sighs before staring up at me with his gray orbs.

“ Folklore might sound crazy, but the human brain is not capable of creating or making up things, unless it was seen before. As a result I would not knock the idea, and based on how both Light and Misa reacted when they were confined was like they were no longer under some trance, dare I say even under a control of a spirit or being. Their body language in itself changed drastically, more so with light based on the footage. During his confinement I was able to see small lip movements that read “ Get rid of it.” It was moments after that when his body language changed from annoyance.. To confusion. Light’s body language is never abrupt, always calm..Light likes to articulate his movements and his responses to things. So that quick change in demeanor is what concerns me..”

“And you think that the new Kira is now Higuchi.” L states with a firmness to his voice.

“ If I have to put my bet, I’d say it was him and Namikawa is the one who calls the shots before Higuchi does anything.”

“ I see.. But there were two kiras at one point.. Do you think that the second kira could be Namikawa Y/N/N?”

“I believe that at this very moment there’s only one Kira, which makes my theory of writing in something like a book stronger. When Light said “ get rid of it” what does “ it” refer to if not an object . As a result, if we are talking about let’s say some book, then at this very moment the second book hasn’t been possessed or hasn't possessed a person yet.. If Namikawa were the second kira, I don't believe he would be giving Higuchi some type of approval/ or direction of what to do, he would just do it himself.”

“ I agree, I just don’t see how believing in some type of power in an object or being is gonna help us solve the case. If the way of killing can be transmitted between person to person, whether it be through a book or by some type of spiritual possession, the catching of Kira would be impossible.” L argues back with reason as expected.

“ Well it all depends, if we are looking for an object, then maybe the destruction of the object can end the killings. But if it is some type of possession of spirit that jumps from person to person. Then the goal is to look for the type of person the spirit is drawn to. But of course that would be a stretch and as you said, would probably be impossible to solve. But given that at one point Light was Kira, I find it hard to believe that someone who murdered so many people would have no recollection of any of it. Making it be that the person has control on if they can erase their memory and bring it back when needed. Which makes me think that Light could still be Kira without even knowing it anymore.."

“ Y/N/N, I have to say your reasoning on things goes beyond my reasoning. I only deal with the facts and the logical explanation of things. If it cannot be proven then it cannot be used as a fact to support evidence. But you use evidence to create a fact, to make a logical explanation, which is interesting. But it might all be interesting to me, simply for the fact that I cannot believe in some type of supernatural power. But I will leave that to you.” L speaks in a monotone voice, not sounding too fond of my reasoning.

“ I like the bigger picture, not the small details Ryuzaki.”

With a side glance L looks at me but returns to his cake, lifting his feet onto the chair and sitting in his weird position and finishes his cake, with not another word to me. His energy shifted from that of being open to that of being closed off. Was it my tone? No. It was that I’m challenging his logical way of thinking with a more elaborate explanation of what could be and not what is.

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felidthing · 8 days ago

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surprise second round

this one requires you to learn things about my ocs. i beg of you to stay with me. you could also vote randomly if you want, i guess i dont actually care too much. but im giving you info so enjoy my info. theres art at the end after the poll go vote on my poll and see kitty art

SETTING THE SCENE:

applepaw is blind in her left eye due to a wound given to her by the shadowclan apprentice streampaw. the two of them keep far apart from each other ever since then- though streampaw was the winner, he left that fight with far less blood than he came into it with. its the only fight he doesnt go on long bragging retellings of.

riding the triumph of winning a battle with skyclan, redstar of thunderclan begins plans for an attack on their other neighbor, shadowclan. he's aiming for a complete takeover. absorbing shadowclan into his rule and hopefully shaking some of their close-knit culture apart. applepaw lost another fight in the battle with skyclan and barely survived, and now she's desperate to regain redstar's good image of her. she cant afford to show weakness again.

but applepaw is still adjusting to her new daily life and mobility after nearly getting her throat torn out- washing is hard, learning her new range of motion is hard, recovering emotionally from almost dying is hard. when it comes time to attack shadowclan's camp, she has to be realistic in who she can take on. she needs to go for someone closer to her age, skillset, and experience.

ivystripe is shadowclan's youngest warrior, just a little older than applepaw. they probably would have become warriors around the same time if applepaw hadnt lost so much time to healer's den rest orders. ivystripe has more experience than the average new warrior due to thunderclan's onslaught of aggression over the past couple of seasons, but so does applepaw.

streampaw is a couple moons younger than applepaw. he's on par with applepaw's experience, but has more connections in his clan and individual victories that keep him confident and defiant towards thunderclan. he overdoes his disdain for applepaw in a way she knows is because he's scared of fighting her again.

(ivystripe is as stressed as anyone about the times he lives in, but he kind of hopes the unrest gives him more opportunities to prove himself, and get him an apprentice early. he wants to give someone the same sense of belonging and purpose training with a mentor gave him. he's friendly with the warriors his age, but keeps to himself more often than the average shadowclan cat. he thinks that maybe if he had an apprentice, he could become closer with their family and be a "better" shadowclan cat.)

(streampaw is the deputy's son and isnt shy about it. streampaw isnt shy about anything. he's a loud presence at gatherings and is exactly the kind of tryhard that would injure applepaw the way he did. he wears his scars with pride. he has a massive crush on a dopey apprentice named sunnypaw and genuinely admires how hard he works to keep up with the more skilled apprentices. streampaw is good at spinning stories and getting cats on his side. he was an only child, a bad omen, and quickly grew to charm everyone around him to keep them from thinking about it.)

#posts #dinni's ocs #eots

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finalgirlmegumi · 8 months ago

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whats a good starting point for a guy who wants to get into led zeppelin!!

HEHEHEHEEHEHE… hello anon, come in come in….. sit on this nice cozy chair dont mind the leather straps on the armrests heheeh……..

ok in all seriousness. And ill try to keep this as short as i can. theeee lz experience is hearing them play live, rather than the studio recordings. This may sound weird to hear from a guy born 20 years after lz stopped doing shows lol but theres a LOT of material out there that u can watch/listen to if u wanna get (what i assume is a fraction of) the experience. Probably the easiest thing to find and in best quality (though in my exp the quality of online streams is still atrocious, maybe theres some hq torrents though?) is “the song remains the same”, a concert film of three dates they played at MSG in 1973. but theres also videos floating around of their concerts at Royal Albert Hall 1970 and Earls court 1975 (you can check yt for these) plus a few odds and ends here and there (im a big fan of this tv appearance in france 1969, though this was super early on so their performance “style” isnt yet well defined, esp wrt plant, but the actual playing is still peak imo)

as far of audio-only live recordings go, theres of course the album version of TSRTS, the BBC sessions album (of various radio appearances they did through the years), and the album called “how the west was won” with live versions of many of their more popular songs taken from a couple dates in california in i believe 1972. These are all on spotify or yt or wherever else u listento music. Theyre also really well mastered (and remastered, and re remastered…) bc Jimmy Page is anal like that. So even if theyre live theyre great quality and u can hear every instrument distinctly.

ALSO theres like a million lz bootlegs out there, which is like its own niche subfandom(?). A bootleg is an illegal recording that fans made back in the 70s and then spread around and/or sold for money. the digital versions of many of these are available on yt and archive.org but theres also a huge marked of selling them, the og 70s vinyls are especially prized. idk much about lz bootlegs bc i never could listen to a single one all the way through as all the noise bothers my brain lol so if anyone reading this does and has tips please share<3

I spoke about live stuff bc in my opinion, and also according to members of lz, fans, various music critic type people, basically everyone agrees lol lz studio songs were just kind of the first iteration of what would then mutate and stretch into a more loose, longer, live experience. Imo lz, studio or live, is some of the best music ever made point blank period, but its definitely not for everyone, in that you have to be able to get in that classic rock/prog rock* type of mood of songs lasting anywhere from 6 minutes studio to 35 minutes live, and taking you on this weird journey with ebbs and flows, rather than having a tight structure that is easier to follow and listen to like all pop music ever. i mean this in an entirely value neutral way: a pop song, whether from 1965 or 2015, is easy to listen to bc IT carries YOU through the listening experience, whether you want to or not, whereas for instance a 20 min version of dazed and confused live requires you to willingly be there. Its not work or effort, exactly (at least not to me) but it definitely requires a different type of attention.

and btw maybe you knew all this already lol but i said it incase you or anyone else who ends up reading this doesn’t know a lot about rock

ANYWAY, of course theres also the actual studio albums. i dont think theres any specific way you should listen To them, like my friend has been going thru them chronologically but back in the day when i was just getting into lz i just jumped from one song or album to another as the mood struck me (which is how hoth ended up being the first lz album i ever heard… i think itd finished torrenting first and i liked the cover and took it on my ipod on holiday with me, and now its my favorite album of all time & engraved on my very soul lol). If you want MY recs of the stuff i like best, i have this recruitment playlist where i put a mix of my fave lz songs and the ones i think are must-listen for any new fan.

Ok so i ended up writing a bunch anyway LMAO. ty for the ask lmk if u have any specific questions ❤️

#asks #lz #*i could get drawn and quartered if the wrong person sees me associate lz to prog rock lol listen im not calling them prog but theyre def a #little proggy in some ways. mainly the thing i was talking about of long drawn out meandering performances. also they do some other #prog-ish stuff in some specific select places think like the weird times in some songs (kashmir #black dog prob others i cant think of rn) but i DEF dk enough about prog rock OR music theory to state that definitively.

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rottenpage · 11 months ago

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Mention of suicidal thoughts, heavy angst. Unedited and un beta’d. 1k. Milgram. Characters Mahiru and Kotoko.

“Kotoko..” Mahiru smile softly, clasping the other woman’s hands with a care that startles kotoko. “Are you hurt? Your hands look sore.”

Kotoko flinches backwards, although mahiru doesn’t seem to notice. “What..?” Kotoko rasps, pulling her hands away as if she’d been burned. “Why are you asking me this?” She desperately searches mahiru’s expression, trying to find anything but the compassion that sits clearly on the blonde woman’s face. She fails. How can this woman be so altruistic? Kotoko.. she’d hurt her. Almost killed her.

“Ah, sorry!” Mahiru’s face reddens, giggling in a self deprecating manner. “You probably don’t want me touching you.. not after what I’ve done.” Kotoko can only stare silently in shock. After.. what she’d done..? Yes, mahiru had been voted guilty, and yes, kotoko had given her a deserving punishment, but.. Kotoko still doesn’t quite know what it is mahiru was supposed to have done. Perhaps she could use this to interrogate her..

“What you did?” Kotoko returns to her usual harsh expression, burying any sympathy she might have had for the other woman. “What *did* you do? Obviously murder, but i want the specifics. Why were you voted guilty?”

Mahiru finally pulls her hands back from where she’d been fussing over kotoko. She jolts harshly at the mention of murder. At the last word, *guilty*, Mahiru starts to tear up.

“I..” She wipes her eyes, her fingers catching on her bandages, “I loved him. I love him. I.. didnt think..” she takes a great heaving breath, “that he.. would do such a thing.” Mahiru’s eyes widen fractionally, “he, he knows i ove him, right? He has to!” Her breathing has picked up. Kotoko watches the other woman as she begins to break down, forcing herself to feel no sympathy for a murderer.

“I didnt ask if you loved him.” Kotoko’s voice cuts through Mahiru’s hiccuping sobs with an almost clinical precision. “I asked what you did. You killed.. him.” Kotoko carefully rolls the question as she speaks, making sure to mention this mysterious ‘him’, Mahiru’s now deceased boyfriend assumingly.

“I.. I..” Mahiru stutters, gulping harshly. “I’d.. never kill him. But.. i guess i did. I, i didnt want to! My love.. must have been to much for him to bare..” She stares at her hands, slowly bringing them to her lips. Her hands cover her mouth as she pales rapidly.

“Too much for him to bare?” Kotoko interjects, her voice hard and cold. “He didnt want to be with you, so you killed him? How pathetic.” Kotoko can barely get her last word out as mahiru scream sobs.

“NO..! I, i didnt!” Mahiru’s heaving, grasping at her hair as she sways in her wheelchair. “He..! He killed himself..!”

Kotoko stills. This.. was unexpected. Ah, but she couldn’t let the mad woman sway her mind, she must have killed him directly, she must have. Otherwise.. did that mean kotoko was wrong in her judgement? No, kotoko is right. This woman must deserve to die.

“Hah, you expect me to believe that? Theres no way-“ Kotoko gets cut off. Mahiru has thrown herself out of her wheelchair, lunging at kotoko.

“You’re wrong! You’re wrong you’re wrong you’re wrong!” Mahiru clutches at herself from her position on the floor, desperately trying to pull herself together. “I, i woke up, and..” she sobs. “We were meant to do it together..! Why..?” Another harsh sob escapes her, “Why didn’t he wait for me?!”

Kotoko.. doesn’t know how to react. ‘Together’..? Surely she didn’t mean what kotoko thought she was implying, right? If she does.. shit, was it murder? Or was it a desperate woman thinking this is what was required in order to be loved..? She.. didn’t even kill him. Not directly, at least, and she seems genuinely distraught. Maybe it was a coincidence that mahiru was here instead of her deceased boyfriend. Maybe.. maybe one night longer and mahiru wouldn’t have been here either.

Kotoko can’t help but see herself in the woman layed sobbing at her feet. She, too, only does what she thinks, no, knows is right. Was Mahiru acting in a similar way?

Despite how she’s been acting, kotoko isn’t heartless. She slowly kneels next the hysterical woman, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. She attempts to guide mahiru back into her chair.

“..Stop it. Stop trying to make me pity you.”

Mahiru flinches yet again, but allows herself to be manoeuvred back in her wheelchair. She weakly grabs on to kotoko when she tries to leave her.

“Kotoko..” Mahiru sniffs, trying to pull herself together. “Are you hurt..?”

Kotoko freezes. What? Why was she asking *again*? Why now? What was she planning? Kotoko grits her teeth, but stops as mahiru grabs at her.

“No. I dot need pity from a weakling like you.” Kotoko glares down, attempting to keep her anger in her expression. Mahiru sniffs quietly once more, before shakily letting go of the taller woman’s sleeve.

“Ah.. I see.. You dont need me either.” Mahiru’s gaze is blank, almost unnervingly so. “..are you going to finish the job, then..?” She lifts her head, making weak eye contact with the vigilante. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, snot and tears crusting on her face. She waits expectantly.

Kotoko doesn’t move.

..what? Was this woman *asking* for kotoko to kill her? The taller woman turns sharply and leaves the room, leaving the door to the cell wide open. She won’t give this *murderer* the gift of mercy. Of killing her quickly. She’ll let the woman sit with her injuries. Let her regret ever *trying* to make Kotoko -sympathise- pity her.

Now alone, Mahiru watches the entryway quietly. She’s exhausted from the conversation, if it can even be called that. What was she supposed to say? Maybe she should have just agreed, to make kotoko feel better, instead of sobbing like a baby. It was her fault anyway. Kotoko was right. It’s Mahiru’s fault he’s dead. She killed him, after all. She deserves whatever punishment is given to her.

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teslacoils-and-hubris · 1 year ago

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What the shit is everhood

(Info dump pls?)

Gladly! ^w^

so everhood is a game that I would say is very similar to undertale, from the pixel art style to the humour to the general uhh theme? i guess is the word? Where you play as a wooden puppet named red on a quest to get your arm back from gold pig. The battle mechanic is a rhythm based system where you have to jump around and over beats the enemies through at you. The music is absolutely fucking fantastic and i actually bought the soundtrack i like it so much lol

a couple battles get absolutely insane with the visuals too, to the point im not even totally sure i can do a description justice? you can check out this video if you're curious, theres really no spoilers in this battle but it shows what im talking about. these battles are where the photosensitivity warning really comes in though, so be cautious if that effects you

I can't go too deep into the plot without getting into spoiler territory, so i'll put that under the cut for anyone who's curious, but here's what I can say! You go around collecting clues to find gold pig and get your arm back, and along the way you get to meet all the wonderful characters that populate Everhood. Like Rasta beast, Noseferatchu the sneezing vampire, Flan and Muck, the dancing mushrooms, a vampire who's name always changes. You really get to know and love these characters while also learning that maybe everything isn't as it seems in Everhood. Maybe, actually nothing is what it seems. Maybe you're the only one willing to do something about. But..... are you willing?

oh also kermit is there and I think he might be god? Also you can kill him and it impacts literally nothing

Full plot summary under the cut. I highly recommend you play the game without spoilers, but if you're like me and you Need to know what happens before you play then go wild. I'll only be talking about the intended good ending though, since I haven't gotten around to playing the secret endings yet- oh also mild spoilers for undertale i guess if youre worried about that in 2023

so when I say its similar to undertale in themes, its sort of. in a reverse sense. In undertale the good ending is the pacifist route. By saving the monsters you help them escape the underground and better their situation. It is mercy, the direct functional opposite of killing, that saves you. There is no mercy kill because using mercy ends the fight period.

Well in Everhood, the good ending requires you to kill everyone.

Your arm was taken from you because you've done this before, wiped out countless lives, friends even. And now you must finish the job. Its hard and sad and it sucks but it has to be you because no one else is going to. It falls on you to go back to these spots you've been through already, these happy cheerful locations, and hunt down everyone you've come to know over the course of the game.

so why do you need to kill everyone? and how on earth is it similar to undertale at all? well, Everhood isn't just the title of the game or the location it takes place, its the state every single character in the game is stuck in.

in the distant past, humanity found a way to reach another world, one they called Everhood. And in this world, no one could ever die. Some people chose to stay in this world, which lost connection to the human world for some reason i dont remember rn, and in doing so slowly lost their humanity. They lived for eons and eons and eons, changing their shape and loosing themselves in the process. You discover at one point that the Green Mage, a chaotic character whom I love, has been keeping track of the years everyone has spent in Everhood, every year a tally on the wall of their secret playroom. It takes three hours to get to the end of this hallway, to give you an idea of scale here. three real time hours.

Your character, Red, is a vessel for the literal human player behind the screen to free the inhabitants of Everhood from eternity. They aren't really happy. They can't be. They've been stuck for so long, and even though they beg and plead for you not to kill them you have to. Its the only way for them to be happy and move on from Everhood. And don't get me wrong you CAN choose not to go through with it. You have to actively fight back after this reveal to kill anyone. I haven't played through this way, so I can't speak on it.

The ending is sort of ambiguous, in which Pink (the person pretending to be Red and letting you the player control them) goes to an afterlife after killing everyone and gets to see them one last time, and they're happy. They forgive you. One by one you talk to them and they thank you for freeing them, apologize for fighting you, and move on happily to whatever comes after death. I choose to interpret it literally, but there's something to be said about the idea it's all in Pink's head. I don't think it was meant to be taken that way, but its one way to look at it.

The game sort of looses people with this being the good ending. But I think it's a beautiful metaphor. Sometimes you keep doing things that hurt you only because you're used to it. Maybe you don't even realize how its hurting you, its better than the alternative right? For the longest time I kept my bedroom blinds perpetually closed because the bright sunlight gave me headaches. I didn't realize just how depressed it was making me to be in near constant darkness like that. It was only after I bought a plant on a whim that I realized how much happier I was letting in the sunlight. You get so used to bad habits and awful jobs and clothes you hate because they're familiar. And doesn't it just seem easier? To take non-action and let everyone keep living and having fun in Everhood? Green Mage hosts DnD every week (or whatever counts as a week after you've lived for eternity), go play with the mushrooms in the forest, doesn't that sound lovely? You don't have to kill anyone, just keep living on exactly as you were! You have friends here Red! It hurts too much to kill them! they don't want to die! why not just give up? How could anything good come from the pain of change?

#asks #doc rambles #everhood #easily one of my favourite games ever #i will ALWAYS take an opertunity to shill this game lmao

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stevie-petey · 6 months ago

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Please never stop blabbing I love everything you have to say, I eat it up Everytime❤️❤️

Would you expand on how bug and Jonathan's relationship has changed? Is Jonathan aware of the tension between Nancy and bug? I know Steve is somewhat aware of it since he was with bug when Nancy and her " fought" on the phone ( even though their fight was pretty one sided) how does Jonathan feel about it if he is aware?

Does Joyce know everything that's happened? Does Jonathan ever confide with his mother about what's happened? Surely there would be rumors and gossip that's hard to escape in a small town. (Hopper would secretly be intevested in the " drama" he's one of those dad's that will stand by the TV and watch but " isn't interested" in it)

I wonder if or how Nancy and bug will become friends in the future considering everything that is about to happen. ( which I have a feeling I might know something but that's for another time) I really feel like they won't interact much more than what's required, too many feelings and things unsaid between them. Does Nancy want to be friends with bug? Or is her guilt too much and she'd rather keep her distance? How would you describe Nancy's feelings for bug in season three? I know that Nancy is just uncomfortable around bug and uncomfortable with the history between bug and Jonathan. Does bug ever get uncomfortable around Nancy in the same way? ( She will in season four 👀)

finally have some time to answer this ask and theres a LOT i wanna discuss, so lets dive right in <333

bug and jon havent changed too much, but now theres a boundary between them. hes with nancy, bug is basically with steve. the romantic tension has slipped away, they now more so hang out together without the touching (in season 1 bug would practically sit in jons lap whenever she could), they arent as necessarily lovey dovey, but theyre still the best of friends. this will never ever change, hes her person and shes his.

as of right now, jon isnt aware of the tension between nancy and bug. up until nancys fight with bug, the girls were actually very friendly !! they had a nice acquaintanceship, think a person youre friends with when youre at school but never hang out outside of class. thats them rn. so jon assumes theyre still pretty good, but it would crush him to find out that hes caused them to fight :(

joyce ,,, she knows. she knows whats happened between bug and jon. shes always known, even before jon admitted his crush on her, and shes always wished things had ended differently. bug is the daughter she never had, she’s done so much for the family, and joyce wishes her son wasnt such an idiot. theres a scene in my head from season 1 where after jon yells at bug that night, joyce berates him the next day and defends bug. i have a very heartfelt scene planned between joyce and bug in the final chapter that makes me </3

and finally nancy DOES want to be bugs friend, and vice versa. both girls admire the other so damn much, and we see this throughout the seasons. hell, nancy even got bug a gift basket at the end of season 2 to try and settle the tension that hangs over them, but it will always be there. however, this tension was never necessarily a bad thing until season 3. nancys feelings towards bug were all good, she likes her and wants to adopt the kindness she has, but when she finds out that bug already knows about nancys fight with jon, it strikes a chord in her. one: nancy is prideful, she resents that jon went to bug and aired their business. two: jon didnt seek out NANCY to talk about his feelings.

this last part is reaaaaally the important part. up until now, nancy has never had to really feel any resentment towards bug once she got with jon. bug being his best friend didnt interfere with nancys relationship with him until the fight happens, and its jarring. nancy thought she was ok with not really understanding jon how bug does, but to see it ? to feel that weight of the history between two people you will never understand ? its devastating. it leaves you feeling raw and second best. it hurts, but it isnt anyones fault whatsoever. jonathan went to his best friend for relationship advice, same as nancy was doing with bug, but the history behind jon and bug tarnishes the sincerity :(

season 4 i have plans for nance and bug (due to steve and jon) that im soooo ready to reveal <333 it will all come together, but ultimately these girls are friends and care about one another, theres just such a complex history behind them both that makes everything difficult

#ask #anon #m speaks #nyas insight #nancy and bug pls hold hands

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my-castles-crumbling · 6 months ago

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TO CAMP ANON

Hi love! Someone sent some advice to you, so I'm putting it under the cut because it's a bit heavy. I hope you're doing well <3

I’ve been keeping up with your tumblr and your asks and stuff, and I hope it’s okay but I had something to say to Camp Anon.

I sort of inferred the situation through your answers Cas. When I was a kid I was often in group at church with other “rebellious” kids. I know now that we were all the queer kids who hadn’t realised yet (credit to them, maybe some of them had) and then when I turned 16 and partly figured myself out I started getting invested in peoples stories.

By that point a lot of the kids I’d gone to church with were also closeted, and we started talking to each other about ourselves and our experiences.

And turns out a few of those kids went to conversion camps. The summers before and after I found out.

One of the kids was a year older than me and is still a very close friend of mine. She’s actually taking a course to be a therapist now.

And there were a few things they said (and my friend still says when she decides to talk about it) that I thought maybe you should know.

It seems like from Cas’ answers to the ask, that Camp Anon has been somewhere before and I presume is going somewhere else again this summer? (Parents don’t usually send kids the same place twice in a row)

Look, I have some advice that’s gonna suck but I think you should hear it. You need to know before you go to the camp what sort of level/type the camp it is.

There are ways to find out and i’m gonna list some here and just do as much research as you can (safely) because if you’re unprepared it will be difficult to leave if you need to.

So the camp has to find away of telling parents what it’s like without directly saying it. It’s often found in quotes.

Theres a big difference between “helping your child” and “healing your child” and “fixing your child”.

Helping usually means giving quotes and bibles and doing straight kid activities (whatever that means).

Healing usually means a lot of churchy sessions, “explaining” what’s wrong with you, being more delicate

And then fixing means being absolute dickheads.

There should also be a website somewhere, or a form or something that your parents had to sign. Sometimes that can be over an email or sometimes it’s a letter. It’s just another way for the camp to cover their asses. Whatever is written inside it should give a vague message about the danger level, how many things they want to cover themselves for.

Also- about recording the camp. If you do decide to (no pressure, always prioritise your safety), focus on filming the other kids around you. If your phone is caught or found, if the videos start of silly with other kids in (as long as they know the risk of being caught with a phone too), it’s unlikely someone will scroll through all the videos, which will mean even if they’re deleted, you won’t rise too much suspicion.

You can also hide videos in other places, like take a video you have and put it in a draft on your tumblr account, and then delete it from your phone. That can be done on Insta too. It does require internet but I assume you have mobile data.

Also camps without phones will still have wifi for adults, sometimes this is free wifi. If it is, don’t use it (if possible).

Also, sometimes the location of the camp on fliers won’t be the real location. For example, it might be the location of the church you go to, but the place you sleep might be one road over, so stay awake. Keep an eye on road names if you move from the location your parents dropped you off at (in case someone needs to come get you, and then can’t find you).

It is illegal to say that being queer kids can be “fixed”. It’s against the law for camps to do this. Conversion therapy is illegal and wrong. Morally wrong and literally wrong. Not a thing. Doesn’t work. Total fucking bullshit.

And be careful. I know there’s a temptation to bring a weapon (like a knife) with you to these places, and it makes sense. But these kids have been through a lot, like you, and can be really depressed and have mental health issues. And you don’t want a kid to do something bad to themselves with a knife you brought with you to the camp.

(Cas here: just remember if that ever happens, it's NOT your fault)

Just think it through.

And be careful who you talk to, some of these kids believe the stuff they’re told. It’s not their fault but don’t assume everyone will agree with you about the situation.

I don’t want to get too involved, I understand this is an overwhelming thing and reaching out just to talk about it was so brave. If you’d like I can ask my friend, who’s been to places like that, if there’s any personal advise she can give. Or not, either way is fine.

And finally, the area I grew up in had a terrible social services place nearby, and when you called the number for social services that school gave you, they’d just send someone from there. There was a kid I used to know who called social services on his family and the guy who showed up was friends with his dad.

Idk if you have good social services or not but do some research first if you can ❤️

(Cas again: let me know if you want me to reach out to this anon to ask any questions or to get info from their friend! We support you <3)

#ask #asks #ask cas #camp anon

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