#i know the fucking pills i take!!

[dilsdoes]

being insane is so wack bc i got institutionalized a couple years ago (second time) and i guess they read my file wrong bc they put me on a medication that gave me heart palpitations and made me dizzy and almost pass out that i was prescribed by a neglectful doctor i made a point to complain about, and i told them that i am no longer on this medication and that it must be a mistake and they were like well. its on your file. and i was like ok yeah but its out of date. i stopped taking it and havent been prescribed that in months. and then they used the R word. 'are you refusing it?' and now theres an implication. now i might be seen as noncompliant. so i figure they must know what theyre doing or something, and then every single morning after that i almost pass out as soon as i wake up and have to lie in bed for hours past breakfast (they gave me breakfast but i lost a lot of time) and every day i told them im pretty sure its this drug thats doing that to me and every day they say well. its whats been prescribed to you. until i say listen i think this is going to fucking kill me. and theyre like 'are you refusing?' and i say i cant take this anymore. its making me sick. cant you see that? its making me sick. and they ask again, 'Are You Refusing?' and i say yes. and you know what? i stopped passing out.

[spacemanxpaninis]

Your f/o is so supportive of you taking your meds. Especially if you’re new to it and feel like they wouldn’t want to deal with someone who takes them. You sadly admit that you do but they just pull you close and tell you there’s nothing to be ashamed of, you can’t help it and they want you to feel better. “If these are the things that make you feel better, then how can I do anything but love them?”

[muckyschmuck]

love being transgender , positivity, blah blah , whatever but i HATE GETTING SWERVED AND SPITROASTED BY CVS AMD PLANNED PARENTHOOD AFTER PAYING COLD HARD CASH FOR A GAY LITTLE APPOINTMENT THAT ALLOWS ME TO BUY FUCKING SYRUP THAT MAKES ME A MAN AND THEN NOT EVEN GETTIGN IT FOR SOME REASONI CANT EVEN CALL MY BITCH ASS 1 STAR RN PROVIDER AND BE LIKE HEYYYYYYYYY WHY IS MY THIGN ON HOLD :333BECAUSE HER NUMBERS JUST THE PP NUMBER AND WHENEVET I CALL THE PHARMACY OR PP ITS LIKE beep boop sorry go fuck yourself GOD

[nyxi-pixie]

skk really were personally created to oneshot kill me. hey what if there was a whole relationship dynamic built off of two characters struggling with dehumanisation who constantly affirm each others humanity. also what if an unholy amount of time was devoted to hand porn for both of them.

[choking-on-roses]

They should invent a losing/forgetting things because you have a disorder that makes you lose/forget things that doesn't make me feel so guilty and frustrated I want to cry

[mars-ipan]

Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed

[gemharvest]

Fuuuckkk tomorrow Karl please. Please I know we rawdog this allergy shit but can we remember to take our allergy eye drops before we go to work tomorrow. Please. My eyes are lightly itchy but it's 11pm and you're only supposed to do them once a day aka 1 drop every 24 hours. I'm not having us set on fucking 11pm.

[entamewitchlulu]

i did see a post semi recently where someone was complaining about therapy, and while there is absolutely a conversation to be had about how therapy is not a cure all, not all therapists are good at their jobs, and society pushes it on everyone as a substitute for fixing material problems with our society, their particular grievance was:

"can you imagine going to a car mechanic and they tell you 'yeah it's gonna be $100 a week and we MIGHT find the problem at some point'"

which is so wildly reductive. a human being is not a car. the brain is not a car. a car has specific discrete pieces that we understand to work a specific way, and when the car breaks, we can find out which piece is the problem. the brain is not built that way. we still don't know what the hell is happening up there.

And even if we did, the human body is not a car - you can't go to the fucking doctor just once when you're sick and then never again after they 'fix it'! Taking care of the human body is a constant, continuous job that requires REGULAR maintenance. You can't just slap a fix on it and then come back two years later for an oil change, that's not how any of this works. It's a bad fucking analogy!

Plus, a mechanic doesn't need to spend an hour a week learning the details of your car's background in order to understand why a piece is broken. A mechanic doesn't need to know that ten years ago a car got into a fender bender and so now part of its muffler is dented. it just need to know that the fender is dented and should be replaced right now.

For a human being, a therapist is not capable of reading your fucking user manual to know what pieces make you. They need time, too, to learn about your unique experience of life and how it might have translated into an unhealthy pattern. For a human it's often not enough to know that the pattern exists until you address the root cause of it, which a therapist can only learn if they spend regular time with you to unearth the roots of the problem.

Therapy is one piece of a holistic system of caring for yourself. It's not a piece that works for everyone, but it can be ONE piece of your continuous journey of mental health care, and treating it like it's a scam just because it takes time isn't helpful to anyone.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Are you ever so extremely tired at work/school/class that it feels like physical pain?

Like I popped a caffeine pill that had 200mg in it an hour ago and I still feel like my body is made of cement what the fuck is wrong with me

[blackcurrant-juice]

wondering why im so fucking sleepy for no reason then remembered I forgot to take my meds for 3 days

[the-one-that-weeps]

The awkward feeling when you colour pick your eye bags and this is what comes out

[wolfisland]

dgmw i dont give a fuck if people do drugs, or what drugs they do. not my business. but id rather actually have the choice rather than feeling like i have no other option but to be a stoner bc doctors dont wanna fucking medicate me for my pain

[probablygayattorneys]

I’ve been sitting with Spirit of Justice for awhile now, and I think I’ve finally come up with a concrete reason that it felt like it fell short, and that was because the messaging isn’t in line with the rest of the games.

Let me explain. Ace Attorney is, primarily, about family. The second case in the entire series is called Turnabout Sisters! And the game asks us, again and again, what does that mean? Who is your family? Is it your blood? Franziska and Miles are of no blood relation but she calls him Little Brother. Meanwhile, Dahlia is blood to Iris and Pearl and she completely rejects them outside of what they can do for her. The entire trilogy constantly asks, and answers, that your family is who you choose - even when they’re blood related, you still need to reaffirm and say yes, these are my people.

This idea is not unique to the original trilogy. Apollo Justice again asks us the same question. Does family mean blood? And it answers it right out of the gate, no. It doesn’t. Zak is not Trucy’s dad, Phoenix is. I know a lot of people don’t like the way it ends, but I would argue that it’s an important reiteration of the moral of the story: Apollo and Trucy sharing a mother doesn’t matter because they choose each other and build a relationship regardless.

Even Dual Destines somewhat visits this idea with Simon and Aura. There is a clear disconnect between them. Aura will openly say she does not care for Simon, and Simon makes his choices because he loves, cares, and wants to protect someone, but it’s not her. The fact that they share blood does not make their relationship important or strong.

And Spirit of Justice takes us… part of the way there. Dhurke and Apollo’s relationship is what you would expect. Apollo does not appear to feel anything towards his biological father, but Dhurke affirms himself as his father through his actions and his choices. And that’s where it ends.

Nahyuta is willing to literally die for Rayfa, because they are blood. That relationship is not expanded on at all. We do not otherwise see anything that would indicate an actual relationship between the two. We are expected to understand that they share parents, and therefore it is his duty to protect, preserve, and defend her. On the flip side, Apollo, the boy he grew up with and they call the same man father… Nothing. He never acknowledges Apollo as a brother. He rarely even acknowledges he has an actual name, rather than just whatever insult pops into his head.

As well, the idea in the people of Khura’in that the sins of the father stain the hands of the son. This is a very powerful idea - that has had several games denouncing. Franziska and Pearl are testaments to it. In fact, they didn’t seem to think that they really emphasized it enough and even in the Great Ace Attorney, they ask it again and they again affirm that no, a person can choose their own path and should be praised and punished for their own actions, and not those who came before. And yet in Spirit of Justice, it is not challenged in any meaningful way. Again, Nahyuta is willing to literally die before allowing Rayfa’s parentage to become public knowledge, because he knows what would happen to her.

In fact, Rayfa’s entire family is handled sloppily. Inga’s safe combination is her birthday, but you cannot look me in the eye and say the rest of his characterization makes sense as a man who would raise his enemy’s daughter. In fact, Dhurke doesn’t even seem to be aware of the fact that he has a daughter, he certainly never mentions her, even in his dying moments when he’s being killed by the man raising her. Contrast that to Turnabout Trump, when the biological and the adopted father face off and Phoenix literally attacks him in order to get the locket.

It just doesn’t make sense or add up in contrast to the rest of the games.

[katsy-kitty]

ok I'm gonna be vulnerable for a moment

I'm prescribed Xanax* and while I know it can cause amnesia when taken in too large amounts, what happened yesterday is a bit different

I took one pill in the late evening because I'd only slept for less than 3 hours the night before and wanted to fall sleep earlier and also was feeling anxious. I waited for some time and decided it hadn't done that much of a difference, so I took two more. So, three pills in total - not that much.

Well... I don't really remember going to bed, but:

I woke up in my bed fully clothed - not bad; I sometimes do that even when sober

I left the computer, music, the TV, and the bathroom light on - not THAT hard to imagine; has happened before when sober

I apparently forgot to take my daily evening medication, which is a bit of shame because it improves my sleep quality and also should be taken daily

THERE'S A WHOLE HUGE 1KG PACK OF SALT ON MY DESK IN THE LIVING ROOM

MY BRA IS ON THE KITCHEN COUNTERTOP

THE MILK WAS OUT OF THE FRIDGE EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T EVEN USE IT (also it was my last one and I doubt it's still good so RIP milk...)

I HAD SOME DRY, USED TEA IN A TEA INFUSER AND NOW IT'S JUST FUCKING ALL OVER THE DISH DRYER AND THE COUNTERTOP FOR SOME REASON

THE MICROWAVE DOOR WAS OPEN BUT I DON'T REMEMBER MICROWAVING ANYTHING (I WOULD have noticed because the light is on in the microwave when the door's open and I have a long corridor leading to the kitchen with the microwave at the end of it - that's how I noticed IN THE MORNING WHEN IT WAS LIGHT, so at night it would be extra visible)

I'd opened a pack of crisps, left one on the countertop and just left the rest OPEN on the countertop without eating almost any of it (I know this one doesn't seem that bad, but I'd never leave crisps wide open because they get stale)

THE SCARY PART: I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OF IT HAPPENING

THANKFULLY, when I checked in the morning, I DIDN'T MAKE ANY TUMBLR POSTS WHILE BEING A ZOMBIE (so all the deranged posts from yesterday are just me)

1.5 year ago, when I was doing reeeaaally badly, I took way more and then went to a birthday party of a person close to me, where I met some of his friends whom I'd only heard about before and had been excited to meet, AND I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT THAT PARTY OR THE PEOPLE I MET EVEN THOUGH I ACTED AND TALKED NORMALLY AND IT WASN'T APPARENT TO ANYONE THAT I WAS FUNCTIONALLY A FUCKING ZOMBIE. And I cannot ever recover these memories afaik. Do you know how fucking scary it is to not remember what you did the night before? What if I did something reprehensible? What if I was outside and broke the law and got arrested? What if I did something extremely reckless? I DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON I WAS WHEN THIS WAS HAPPENING. I DON'T KNOW IF I WAS MYSELF AND HAD MY NORMAL VALUES AND OPINIONS OR IF I TURN INTO A DIFFERENT KIND OF PERSON. All I know, because someone close to me has told me, is that I am meaner and more egocentric. I DON'T WANT TO BE MEAN

btw for anyone wondering: amnesia IS a legitimate side effect of Xanax and not something specific to me. I'm not sure if all leaflets list it (I'm not in the US), but you can check Wikipedia for more info

*generic Xanax, to be exact, which is the same in effect btw

PS. I don't abuse Xanax anymore and even when I did, it didn't ever any feel-good effects for me; I only used it to numb myself / make myself go to sleep. I don't even see why people use it recreationally (apparently) because if I wasn't extremely anxious, like having a panic attack, it wasn't very helpful or pleasant to take.

All of the above doesn't mean that I am against Xanax. I think it's a great medicine for panic attacks because it (a) works, (b) acts extremely fast for something that's a pill ingested through the mouth.

But it's extremely important that people don't abuse it, and that's why doctors should be responsible when prescribing it and inform patients of the side effects and the harms of abusing it.

Xanax is also very addictive and the addiction is hard to break (not from personal experience this time). And abusing it can lead to long-lasting (I'm not saying "permanent") cognitive impairment even once you've stopped taking it.

[brunetterightsactivist]

i hate tiktok for scaring me away from getting an iud like before i was under the impression there was little to no pain no more scary than a pap smear and NOW i think about it and i get so disturbed. i want the copper iud lol....

[honey-skulls]

HUGE VENT

I'm sorry but i need to get this out, just please don't worry too much or take anything personally/gen

My routine these last two weeeks has been:

-Wake up at my 10 am alarm and spend the whole day in bed, mentally and physically exhausted, brain fog and no motivation for anything, only getting up to eat, having to wait for the "food time" hours to roll around that my therapist gave me because I'm not allowed to eat outside of those hours and if I'm hungry but missed the last food time then too bad, struggling to stay awake because again I'm not allowed to sleep out of the "sleep hours" she gave me and that includes naps, excitedly waiting for 21h30/22h to roll around so i can finally sleep

-Spend the evening mentally screaming in my mind because, while my body is still just as physically exhausted, my mind is suddenly sharp and full of ideas and motivation, but i'm still too tired to get up and draw

-Then spend midnight and onward rolling around in bed, hot and bored out of my mind because my physical tiredness also vanished, but i'm not allowed to get up and draw because it's "sleep hours" and i need to reschedule my body, and end up falling asleep at around 5 am

I'm totally not slowly loosing my mind 😃👍

Edit: Oh also the constant noise in my ears has gotten worse, i don't know what silence is anymore

Silence is actually worse than loud rooms

It's driving me insane

It's so loud