#i know that there is a gender spectrum just like there is a sexuality and romanticism spectrum

[le-trash-prince]

I know this website has been shared in BL fandom before, but I just want to pull some information from fujoshi.info that I think can be really enlightening in regards to how TERF rhetoric is used against BL fans, namely the idea that BL fans are straight women or that BL is made for the consumption of straight women.

I grew up having things like this said to my face as a young queer by people who knew I read BL, and it made it that much harder to accept both my gender and my sexuality, which, ironically, BL helped me to process. So I have little patience for these kinds of statements regarding BL. They are invalidating of many people's queer experiences.

Here is my stance: BL is made for BL fans. It's not made "for the hets" or "for people who aren't queer." It's made for BL fans. That includes us queers. We are and have always been part of the audience that BL is made for.

BL authors and fans come in all different shapes and sizes. Trans men and cisgender men both read and produce BL media. Based on multiple surveys of queer BL fans the majority of fans, male or female, fall on the bisexual spectrum. (source)

There is more, in the link above, about BL demographics, under the "Misconception 2" tab, that I think is well worth the read.

Second of all, I think the idea that "some BL is made for queers and some BL isn't" is just a repackaged TERF talking point that BL is made for straight women. Let me be clear: I am not implying that people who say things like this are TERFs. But you are parroting TERF talking points and propogating their ideology by implying that the people for whom these shows are made must not be queer.

Under gender critical ideology, trans men in fandom are treated as ‘hetero sexual female fujoshi’ who consume too much ‘sexual gay male content’ only to later ‘come out as “gay trans men”’ (Anti-fujoshi 2023). Gender criticals refer to trans men (and by extension fujoshi) as ‘homophobic’ due to their belief that trans men are heterosexual women forcing their way into authentic (i.e. cisgender) gay male spaces (Anti-fujoshi 2023). (link)

Unfortunately, this concept has long since been picked up by people in the queer community who think they're fighting homophobia... and TERFs love it.

I hate fujoshi but we’re even more astounded how [social justice warriors] [took] our statements as some pro-LGBT agenda […] [and] swallowed our thinly veiled gender critical statements […]. We’re ‘transphobic’. (link)

Here are examples from fujoshi.info of TERF talking points regarding BL fans being cishet women. These are quotes from actual TERFs, and I am placing them under a cut because they can be triggering, even though this is only just a sampling. But statements like these are the roots of the idea that BL is made for straight women, and I want people to understand the implications of what they are saying.

To keep my conclusion above the cut, I just want to say that it is dangerous to play into this agenda by making claims about who BL is made for. KinnPorsche was made for me. Pit Babe was made for me. Kidnap was made for me. Queer people have always been part of the BL audience, whether the series reflects what any given person considers to be "an authentic queer experience" or not.

"Yaoi is made only for women by women and seeks to commodify MLM identities and love while oppressing them and denying them their rights. “Fujoshis” are not friends of queer liberation."

"the idea that we should just let cishet women have a fetish for gay men at the off chance they might be gay or trans is fucking insanity"

"No fujoshi is a proper LGBT advocate. They are all straight women pretending to be bi."

"Fujoshis just started calling themselves non binary and gay trans men and most of you just fell for it huh?

"[fujoshis] refers to specifically cishet women who only consume and create m/m content because they view it as something sexual because it is taboo and don't care about actual gay men, along with blatantly hating gay women [...] We cannot dilute what the term fujoshi means and the severe homophobia that mindset is rooted in."

[chocoenvy]

New Rule!!

The last one, atm I don't believe I can write anything strictly romantic.

I don't know what has changed, what's wrong with me, but writing things that are strictly romantic make me uncomfortable at the moment.

If this changes in the future, the rule will be removed, but for now please don't request anything strictly romantic. And if you have requested smth like that please understand if I change it.

(btw i lose my mind in the tags if yall want to laugh at my pain and maybe give advice only if u want tho)

[lovebloods]

.

[wayfinderships]

I love my childhood friend so much-sjfnsnfjsnd

[kissmefriendly]

Now it can be stressful living with a sibling you’re not out to. But it definetly has its moments of accidental comedy.

Exhibit A: My brother, upon trying to go through my phone’s pictures, saying “Typical girl!” when I told him to shove off. The photos he would have seen were posters for drag events, screenshots of discount codes for packers, 80 pictures of various historical trans men and a lot of Napoleonic War dress uniforms

Exhibit B: “So you’re like, a lesbian, right? Do girls like cannabalism?” Apparently he was trying to get advice on how to ask someone out. This was immediately followed by “Do they like Arctic or Antarctic explorers more?” Oh, buddy. I didn’t know how to break it to him that I���m not a good measure of what The Ladies are into these days (see Exhibit A)… Also, don’t start any conversation with do you like cannabalism if you want to date that person.

Exhibit C: “My classmate asked what your pronouns are and I told her you didn’t have any.”

Exhibit D: “You know [The Theatre] you go to? I met someone who knew you and she called you a ‘he’ and a ‘they.’ So you do drag or something?”

[sammydem0n64]

Tbh fellas my identity has reached a point of true “idgaf” (it has been like this for months actually. Lolz.) Thinking abt it gives me brainrot. Pronouns? Idc call me whatever. Gender? I am not a man that’s all I got. Sexuality? Idk. I don’t wanna date people tho!!!!!!!!! I don’t wanna find myself!!!!!!!!!!!! I am Aaliyah sammydem0n64 and I am autistic and that’s it‼️‼️‼️‼️

[whomerlockwood]

sigh............ I thought I've left the comphet thing behind me years ago......

[skys-archive]

I think in honor of pride month and also in general forever we should stop trying fit queer people into the identities we think they should call themselves.

And I know no one is going to see this because no one ever does but I'm going to talk about it anyway because this is important.

Bisexual doesn't mean you don't date trans people, it doesn't mean you like men and women, it doesn't mean you can't have a preference. Someone can identify as polysexual or bisexual or omnisexual and have no preference and you don't get to say that that means they're pansexual. Because no, if they don't identify as pansexual then they're not pansexual.

Transmasc doesn't mean you use he/him pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a man. Transfem doesn't mean you use she/her pronouns. It doesn't mean you identify as a woman. You can be nonbinary or genderqueer or agender or any gender that isn't binary and not use they/them pronouns. You can use any of those labels and still identify as a man or a woman. You can use different pronouns than is typically used for your birth sex and not consider yourself transgender. People can be gender non conforming and not he trans. People can be trans and not gender non conforming.

A trans man can be fem. A trans woman can be masc. Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people don't owe you androgyny. Intersex people are people, they deserve way more attention than a way to one up transphobes. Intersex people face discrimination and body altering surgeries without their consent and then are only ever talked about to say "some cis women have penises" or "some people have an extra x chromosome" and then we never talk about the struggle they face as part of the queer community.

Asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum. Some aces like sex, some aces are repulsed, some aces only experience sexual attraction to one person or once in their life, some aces need a deep emotional bond, some aces their attraction changes. Some aros change identities. Some aros are repulsed by romance unless it's a fictional character. Some aros have romantic feelings until they get to know someone. Some aros crave a romantic relationship but never have romantic feelings. You don't get to say someone isn't asexual or aromantic enough.

Asexuality and aromanticism is having a unique relationship with romance or sexual feelings and impulses. Someone who is transgender has a unique experience with gender. You don't get to decide that they don't have a unique experience. But guess what? You don't get to decide if they do either. Someone can have a unique experience and still not identify as asexual aromantic or transgender. You can cross dress and still fully feel like a man. You can use he/him pronouns as a cis women. You can have trauma around sex and not identify as asexual. You can never have a romantic relationship and not identify as aromantic.

You can have "contradicting" labels. I don't know as many of these because I don't personally identify as any but please fell welcome to add in reblogs. There are trans men lesbians and gay women. There are sex loving asexuals. I know there are others I just genuinely am not educated enough.

YOU DONT GET TO CHOOSE SOMEONES LABELS

ANYONE CAN EITHER IDENTIFY OR NOT IDENTIFY AS QUEER

Please feel welcome to add anything in reblogs. I'm sure there's things I've missed. I haven't talked about neopronouns I haven't talked enough about "contradicting" labels. I haven't talked about queer platonic relationships or kink or polyamory or enough about intersex people or pronouns vs gender. There's so much important things but at the end of the day it's just so important to not choose other people's labels.

[gingerswagfreckles]

I know everything that can be said on this topic has been said to death and no one but Jews will ever acknowledge it but it is still absolutely infuriating how every brand of gentile from every part of the political spectrum has collaborated to turn the word "Nazi" into a generic word for "fascist" or "bad person" or "person I don't like." Nazism isn't just fucking fascism and it isn't a synonym for bad person. It's a specific ideology that is centered at its root around blaming Jews for every problem in the world and wanting to exterminate them.

No, generic racist Republicans are not "Nazis." No, TERFs are not "Nazis." No, your crappy corrupt European leader is not a "Nazi." No, cops are not "Nazis." You know why they aren't Nazis? Because their entire ideology and behavior, as harmful as it may be to certain groups, is not centered around hating JEWS.

Nazism is an ideology centered around hating JEWS. Other people and groups may be caught in the crossfire, but ultimately, a Nazi's goal is to exterminate Jews, and you cannot just ignore that! I read a 12 paragraph essay yesterday written by a gentile analyzing the reasons people in Nazi Germany flocked to Nazism, and antisemitism wasn't mentioned as a motivation even once! They thought it was all because of gender norms and sexual repression! Oh my god!

The comfort with which gentiles have near universally divorced Nazism from antisemitism in colloquial speech is a direct precursor to the separation of Nazism from antisemitism in academic discourse. It's a direct predecessor to the rise of institutionalized antisemitism that we are seeing happen in real time now, because you have all gotten so used to appropriating Jewish trauma and Jewish oppression to the extent that you have convinced yourselves it isn't even uniquely real. That antisemitism doesn't exist as a specific bigotry that stands on it's own, that antisemitism is always some kind of footnote tied to some other, more important form of oppression. Do you think that Jews don't see what is happening here, that we don't see the deliberate generalization of Jew hatred and appropriation of the language we can use to refer to it? Jewish trauma becomes everyone's trauma, Jewish oppression becomes everyone's oppression, and soon enough the world at large has stolen the language of Jewish oppression right out of our mouths, until huge swaths of people can say "Jews are the new Nazis" and not see anything absurd about that at all.

Because you won't. Fucking. Acknowledge. What Nazism actually is. You won't fucking acknowledge that any ideology is specifically targeted at JEWS, and not YOU. Stop it!! Stop it! Cut it the fuck out. Nazism cannot be divorced from antisemitism and the insistence that it not only can be but MUST be by gentiles just shows how deeply ignorant and biased against Jews most of you really are.

[notherpuppet]

Do you think there's a right and/or wrong way to handle QPR? I know it's a tricky relationship, but it feels like most/some people kind of just slap the label onto a ship while depicting the ship as just romantic/having no difference with a romantic relationship. (this is why I was a little surprised when you said you do radioapple qpr when it reads a lot more like normal romance). Not meant as an attack or anything on anyone, just genuinely curious more than anything. Again, tricky relationship

So Imma put this link to info at the top of this post: https://taaap.org/2022/07/16/qprs-part-one/

Alright, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's exactly what it is. One small bit of perspective in a mass of many people who experience QPRs in their life and/or are on an aro/ace spectrum. I also have NO QUALIFICATIONS on gender/sexuality theory, so my opinions are shaped by what I've learned and experienced personally. While people may identify with the same term, we are all still individuals with our own experiences. Words can help describe a phenomenon, but it doesn't make everyone who identifies with the word into a monolith.

So I've stated a few times that I navigate shipping Alastor similar to my own experiences as an aroace person. (I guess I'm sharing about myself with this post, but I think that can be helpful to just spreading awareness of an "alternative lifestyle"). So I'm romance-repulsed and sex-repulsed LOL but I'm also "positive" about those things. Like I view romance and sex as lovely, fun experiences people can have, but I've never been into it personally. It's fun for me to consume media about romance/sex, but yknow, it's also fun for me to consume media about violence or isolation. Doesn't mean I want to experience or engage in any of those things lol.

Anyway, I'm a huge people person and I love to party and yknow it seems most people are really wanting to fall in love or fuck or whatever pretty much all the time, but especially at parties hahaha. Normally, I'm pretty touch-averse, but I love dancing so much and it's a blast to dance with a partner (salsa especially!! i don't care for grinding for probably obvious reasons). And to connect the two previous sentences, people (whatever gender they are) would be very kissy-touchy on the dancefloor. Which i honestly dont really give a fuck about hahaha. I don't really get anything out of kissing but I also don't mind it. I just like to dance. It's all a pretty superficial--but still genuinely fun--experience for me.

When it comes to my deeper or more intimate connections, I have had friendships that have felt SO on the line of what was viewed as a romantic relationship. They were exceptional friends and we connected on a level that was deep and true, but it wasn't romantic. Sometimes we'd slow dance, sometimes we kissed, and it rocked. But it wasn't more than that, it was all that it needed to be. I didn't want more and neither did they (except one situation and so we had to stop being friends lol whoops). From the outside, people would even refer to us as partners in a half joking way, but we really were just friends. And I love those friends!! And a huge part of what made those relationships (which at the time were described as 'situationships' because we didn't know any of these terms haha) was their convenience. We either lived in the same building, worked together, or were neighbors LOL. I'm still friends with those absolutely lovely folks, but we don't live around each other, so our QPR just appears a lot more like any ole regular friendship. But it's not like there was a feeling that we transitioned into something different than before. It twas what it twas! (Had to take a pause while I was typing to reminisce fondly for a second, okay back to hazbin hahaha)

SO, whenever someone asks or it comes up, MOST OF THE TIME I do ship alastor through an aroace lens and experience with QPRs (specifically, MINEE because they were fun and I've never felt like doing this before I met a character like Al). And my XP is: "this isn't gonna be a partnership and we ain't fucking" LMFAO. so yeah!

When it comes to using a queer term like QPR, I just hope folks are considerate in their writing, but I also am inclined to just believe them if they say that's their intention because QPRs can look very different. Again, aroace and ace folks are not a monolith. The terms help to describe a human's experience. I'm inclined to think people are writing in good faith.

And all this being said, I want to just emphasize that I really don't think it's necessary to consider any of this shit if you want to ship a fictional character. I understand wanting to be protective of a character who shares an identifier with you (I personally don't wanna see romance/sex with Al in canon). But shipping is a fun thing a fandom does that often does ignore canon. Tale as old as time. I don't think anyone needs to be beholden to canon when they're writing fanfiction or having fun. If we did, I would have like--5 artworks on this blog hahaha. These characters are like dollies, do whatever you want. It's cool if people don't like it and I think it's cool if people do. It's just not that serious. There are ships I'm not particularly into or dynamics that I am not enchanted by, but whatever. I can just scroll or close my eyes.

TLDR; shipping in fandom doesn't need to be taken seriously at ALL. It can just be fun way for someone to play with fictional characters they like. That being said, I think it's good practice to use queer terms thoughtfully.

[schattenhonig]

The A in LGBTQIA+ doesn't stand for aspec because they're not repressed!

(please read the disclaimer at the end of this post)

Ummm, excuse me? Would you mind telling me what your definition of repression is, then?

Because I feel repressed when a doctor asks me about my sex life, and if I say I have none, it gets marked down as a symptom without being asked if I suffer from it.

I feel repressed when my gyn tells me I can't get a hysterectomy yet despite losing so much blood on every period that I need to take iron supplements all the time, because I could change my mind about not wanting children (which is a whole other post, I know, but it's most likely linked to sex).

I feel repressed if I can't use dating apps or platforms because my sexuality doesn't even exist there, and the one time I tried, I got called names because I didn't want to meet for because it was clear where this date would go, despite my explicit "what I'm looking for".

I feel repressed when I think about how recently a paragraph was finally abolished in my country that considered sex a vital part of a marriage, basically entitling the spouses to having sex with their partner (both gender neutral, because entitling people to having sex with somebody else by law is wrong. It's basically a rape permission).

I feel repressed when I can't watch any film or show without it being about love and/or sex, no matter if it fits the narrative and furthers the plot.

I feel repressed when I plot my own stories and automatically put a romantic couple in there as main characters, even though I have no idea why this would be important for the plot. Not even my own stories, my own thoughts are mine.

I felt repressed when I was asked accusingly in a relationship if I wasn't missing something before I even knew asexuality as a spectrum was a thing, and having to lie about this being a side effect of my medication instead of genuinely not feeling attracted to someone in this way.

I feel repressed when I can't tell people I'm not sexually attracted to them because they will take this personally no matter how well I explain myself.

I feel repressed when everywhere I look there's advertising relying on naked skin, suggestive posing and objectification. Why are expensive cars still presented by women considered beautiful and tempting? It's not like that's necessary to convince people of spending so much money on a thing that gets you from A to B. Couches with women in smart dresses and high heels. That's not what a normal person looks like on a couch. But the worst is a truck in the town where I live: it's from a small fruit and vegetable stand, so whenever I see it, it comes from the warehouse, delivering groceries. On it is a woman clad in very little, presenting fruit. I'm sorry, but why? Does a misogynistic picture convince you of the necessity to avoid scurvy?

I feel repressed when I tell people and get the answer "you just haven't found the right person yet", because there are two possible assumptions from that point: I'm either not trying hard enough (so it's basically my own fault) or something about me is not right, appalling even (which circles back to I'm not trying hard enough or frames me as a victim of my genetics, upbringing or circumstances to be pitied).

Do not tell me how I feel. Do not try to tell me everything is fine and I shouldn't complain or ask for acknowledgement if everywhere I look, I'm reminded of how odd, how weird and how not normal I am. How much it inconveniences you to even acknowledge my existence, let alone respect any of my traits, views and choices.

And while I can only write from my own asexual point of view, I wrote this with all kinds of flavours of aspec in mind, so I'm explicitly including aromantics, aroace people and every shade of the spectrum in this. Not all my examples may apply to you, but I hope you can find something to relate to.

ETA: please feel free to add your own experiences of repression!

[nekropsii]

Wild how when I call Shipping Culture oppressively pervasive and awful for any Aro/Ace with the gall to enjoy anything on the Internet, I get called a Fun-Hating Killjoy and told to just shut the fuck up or off myself, no matter how mild or polite my comment is. Wild how when I say a character either is textually Aro/Ace or is easier to read as Aro/Ace than Alloromantic/sexual, people start talking down to me like I'm a child who doesn't know anything, saying "Friendly reminder that Aro(s)/Aces can Date/Have Sex too, just like us Normal People!". As if I don't know anything about my own identity. Wild how when I do either of these things or even just say I'm not into a pairing or uninvested in shipping in general people call me fucking homophobic, even if the (at least popularly perceived - let's be honest, people are wrong half the time) genders of the characters is never once made relevant. Even though their reasoning for me being homophobic is lack of investment in a gay pairing they like, and nothing more. Wild how people throw little baby tantrums at even the gentlest criticism of Shipping Culture, or someone choosing not to engage heavily in it. Wild how they have the audacity to ask, with hostility, what the fuck Aro(s)/Aces are talking about when they say Shipping Culture is hostile to Aro/Ace fans, or ask what's wrong with them when they say that they aren't into Shipping.

It's almost like Bigots don't realize they're being Bigots when they do Bigotry, so just saying you're not a Bigot isn't enough. It's almost like Aro/Ace people know what the hell they're talking about. It's almost like we have a fucking point. It's almost like we're valid in expressing contempt and frustration with the constant expectation to engage with Romance and Sexuality at every waking moment, even if we're Romance and/or Sex Favorable. It's almost like we're tired of getting our identities erased, and we're tired of expecting to "act normal", and we're tired of just taking it when Allos use the Favorable members of our communities as a scapegoat for why they should be allowed to totally erase any of our representation just for their "Harmless Queer Fun" - deliberately, and I mean DELIBERATELY, failing to recognize or acknowledge the character's orientation, and how an A-Spec's personal relationship with and expressions of Love are going to look drastically different from an Allo person's - and call us the Bigots when we even glance in the direction of objection.

It's almost like Allo/Amatonormativity are oppressive forces.

Alloromantics/sexuals are constantly looking for any reason they can to call Aro(s)/Aces unloving, unfeeling, frigid, soulless, cruel. Inhuman. They're looking for any reason they can to call us whiny children, stupid, people who "just haven't found the right one", addressing us only as "Works in Progress", or someone who can have their sexuality corrected with the right stimulus - Conversion Therapy and Corrective Rape are okay when it happens to us, after all. Any reason at all to call us heartless monsters. AlloAces are confused children. They can be fixed. AroAllos are manipulative, unfeeling sexual predators. They can't be fixed - just kill them. AroAces are frigid, mean bitches. They can be fixed. God forbid you're Aplatonic. God forbid you're part of the Repulsed spectrum. God forbid you're one of the Loveless. God forbid you hold any pride in your identity, God forbid you don't keep your mouth shut, God forbid you critique the overinflated importance Allos place onto Love as a concept. God forbid you critique something as asinine and juvenile as fucking Shipping Culture. Do any one of these and you've put a bright red, blazing neon target on your back.

Wild how the only real humans amongst us are the Romance, Sex, and Friendship Favorable who put their head down and mask as Allo, and side with the Allos when their fellow A-Specs get too loud for the comfort of their Allo friend's delicate little fee-fees. After all, Vitriol and Harassment are warranted when an Allo's feelings get slightly hurt that an Aro person says, on their own account, to no one in particular, that they're sick of every tag being 80% Shipping Content. Which is a vehemently evil personal attack, clearly.

Wild.

[sminny-wew]

I had a long discussion with friends earlier about the gender bias in how YA books are marketed and it somehow evolved into me saying "We need more fiction that questions the concept of attraction itself"

We got into how easily romance can be latched onto other genres (romantic comedy, romantic drama, fantasy romance, historical romance, etc.) and I started asking myself what an arocom (aromantic comedy) would look like. I decided, based on an old Tumblr post I can't find that joked about some comedy movie being aro representation b/c it had no romance, that it can't just be "a comedy with no romance at all", because then that's just a regular old comedy. By that logic, SpongeBob would be an arocom, which doesn't make sense b/c it largely focuses on non-romantic plots (SpongeBob working at his job, failing to get his license, the general shenanigans he and his friends get into) and only addresses romance sparingly, depending on the plot of an episode.

It sucks to admit but at least from my perspective, in order for a piece of media to qualify as "aromantic/asexual media" in the heavily sex- and romance-catered media landscape, it kinda needs to address sex and romance in the first place. As wonderful as it would be to escape for a few hours to a book or show or game where romance isn't addressed at all and think of that as aro rep, you can't really call attention to a character's lack of romantic or sexual attraction without acknowledging, even indirectly, that those exact things exist within the text.

I'm not saying sex and romance are inherently bad either. There are aces who engage in sexual activities, aros who date, folks on both spectrums who engage in kink because kink is not inherently sexual and just approach relationships in so many incredibly nuanced ways. It's not just about aspecs also having parents and siblings and pets either, we have friends and coworkers and neighbors. We have interests and skills and hobbies. But it's not just the cishets who place sex and romance on such a high pedestal as "fundamental aspects of what makes people human", I see it within the LGBT community too. There are more than a few openly queer folks out there who don't know or have forgotten that because asexuality and aromanticism are a lack or absence of attraction (and thus a lack/absence of conformist heterosexuality), that we are, to varying degrees, queer as well. And thus media with aroace subtext (or just text for that matter) tends to get excluded from discussions of queer subtext.

I feel like I got a little off-topic and rambly but Idk I just think we need more aspec fiction where people are free to explore all spectrums of attraction as much as they want, ask questions about what defines a relationship, and just generally bear in mind relationship anarchy when they create. I'd like to see it in mainstream media but I'd also like to see it in fanfic too

(Btw everything I just said also extends to people who are poly)

[stormlight-drafter]

Was reading through the Cosmere RPG preview and found some interesting lore bits in the Safety chapter. Maybe these things were already known (I haven't read the novellas) but there were some I wasn't aware of.

"Asexuality. All populations on Roshar, regardless of species and culture, include a spectrum of asexual people. Herdazians have a long tradition of valuing people who aren’t interested in sex or producing offspring. Singers, excluding when in mate form, are not expected to show any interest in sex."

I don't think I've ever seen Asexuality specifically called out like this, instead of it just being a footnote in Sexuality sections. Good on Brotherwise. The Singer thing was pretty obvious from Venli's chapters, but I didn't know that about Herdazians. Loving all the lore I'm learning about them from the rpg. Absolutely the most based ethnicity on Roshar.

"Discrimination Based on Eye Shade. The spectrum of eye colors for humans on Roshar is different from our own. Both darkeyes and lighteyes can have violet, blue, green, yellow, gray, or brown eyes."

Full list of possible eye colors. Though idk I'd probably just let my players have red, orange, or pink eyes if they really wanted it, why not. This section didn't mention if it's possible to have a medium shade that makes people confused on whether you count as darkeyes or lighteyes, but I'd assume so.

"Gender Identity. Breathing in Stormlight over time passively heals Radiants to their true genders."

I did know this, but it's nice to have it spelled out instead of buried in a novella.

"Gender Roles. Vorinism is one of many ideologies that impose strict gender roles on followers. Will your game include details such as female safehands, male illiteracy, and so on? Is being an ardent the only way for gender nonconforming characters to avoid social persecution?"

That was something I was wondering about, how Vorinism handles trans and non-binary identities. I'd assume "poorly" but I was curious if there were any quirks, considering it's pretty mild about same sex relationships. I don't know if the trans character talks about their life pre-transition or not, but this passage kind of implies that being an ardent is the only way for non-binary people to feel safe, but I'm not sure if it's just addressing the obvious assumption or actually stating its canon.

"Mental Illness. The Stormlight Archive features many characters with mental illnesses. While some might correlate mental illness with becoming a Knight Radiant, they would be missing the point."

Lol "please don't force your fanon on other people."

[ckret2]

Hey, so you've mentioned that Bollford will eventually play a small part in the fic... and that got me wondering. What exactly are their sexualities? Bill isn't technically any human gender (I don't think? Like he just says he's male becuase its easier?) could human sexualities apply to him? And becuase of that... what would it make Ford? Obviously he only ever loved Bill becuase he's a monster fucker... but what now? Is he actually plansexual? What's your take?

This is Bill's own answer about his sexuality, from the reddit Bill Cipher AMA:

Because the original comment was removed, a lot of later readers assume that Bill is talking about what his own gender is; but the original comment actually asked what his orientation is.

Since Bill's reply says "my dimension has" rather than "had," and he talks like he COULD file his paperwork if he were so inclined, I'm assuming that by "my dimension" he means the Nightmare Realm, not Euclydia. (If I tell you something about "my town," I'm talking about the town I live in, not the hometown I left a decade ago. Why assume Bill does differently?) So he's talking about trying to figure out his orientation in a context of mingling with alien genders, not his orientation within the context of his home dimension.

From his answer, I can conclude three things:

His orientation isn't whatever was considered normal for his culture (example: straight in a heteronormative culture), because if he was attracted only to The Things He Was Expected To Be Attracted To and never attracted to The Things He Wasn't Expect To Be Attracted To, that would be pretty easy for him to recognize.

His orientation isn't ace/aro, because if he was attracted to NOTHING that would be really easy for him to recognize.

His orientation isn't pan, because if he was attracted to EVERYTHING that would be really easy for him to recognize.

So he knows for a fact that there's some genders he definitely feels attraction to and he knows for a fact that there's some genders he never feels attraction to, and they're not the genders considered "normal" in his species, meaning he can't just make a sweeping "yes" or "no" declaration about his attraction to as-yet-unknown genders.

That's as much as we know about his orientation and that's as deep as I care to take it. He knows some things he likes and he knows some things he doesn't like and sometimes he runs into something new and discovers whether he likes it.

As for Ford, I personally headcanon him as somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum—whether that's ace-ace and aro-aro or something a little more demi/gray depends on my mood, the weather, the stock market, and what house Mercury is in.

Is he a "monsterfucker" in the sense of "experiences sexual attraction to monsters" or the sense of "has a kink for monstrosity and is turned on by the excitement of (sexually) exploring something new and strange"? He couldn't tell you.

Has he ever fallen in love? He doesn't think so. Could he ever fall in love? Is he going to fall "in love"? Define "love". What's the dividing line between "emotionally wrapping yourself around someone who fills you with awe and excitement and the contentment of being understood and fantasizing about the wonders he'll show you and the ways he'll impact your life" and "love"? Define the dividing line between platonic friendship and queerplatonic friendship. Define the dividing line between romantic love and queerplatonic love. What's the precise difference between a crush and an obsession. What's the precise difference between a special interest and a romantic interest. If your answer involves criteria like "the desire to kiss" it's no good. Ford's made out with his special interests. He's spent fifty years trying to figure out how to kiss moths.

As far as he can tell he's like this

Ford's a busy man of science, he's got better things to do than search for his precise microlabel*. (*Ford doesn't know what microlabels are.)

This is how he sees it. Forget about the actions and rituals people assume automatically come with "love" and "attraction" and "desire" and "relationships" and "orientations." You don't need to know what your orientation is. For example you wouldn't need to know you like women in order to Like A Woman, your body would just make you like her. An orientation is just a label used to categorize your observations of your body's instincts. So focus on your instincts rather than your label.

You find somebody. You like them. They like you. You want to do things with them. Don't waste time trying to figure out if you're "in love" by comparing the things you want against a hypothetical list of things that somebody in love would want: just pay attention to what you want to do with them.

Kiss? Go to movies? Talk about interdimensional quantum mechanics for eight hours straight? Hold hands? Sleep together? Bring them to family reunions? Play board games? Live together and jointly make decisions about finances, careers, education? Live next door to each other so you can see each other every day without having to cooperate on so many parts of your lives? Get joint filing tax breaks? Entrust each other to make medical decisions if one of you is in a coma?

These are a few of many possibilities. Maybe you want some of them but not others. Maybe you want some things that aren't listed. Maybe you hate this entire list. Whatever. Doesn't matter. Just figure out the things you want to do with them. They figure out the things they want to do with you.

Maybe you don't know whether you're "in love". Maybe one of you is "in love" and the other one isn't. It's irrelevant! The only benefit to knowing whether you're in love is that it provides a template with a list of things you probably want to do (kiss; sex; marry; babies; whatever)—but wouldn't you prefer to do the things you WANT to do rather than do the things you think you SHOULD want based on how you THINK you feel? You just figured out what you want from the person you like all by yourself, so who NEEDS "love"! You have a list!

Now you two can compare lists! You decide which things you both want to do and which things you don't. You compromise. You reach a mutual agreement on a way to conduct your relationship that will make you both happy. You have made...

... a plan.

(In the fic, I plan to continue addressing Bill's orientation by having him crack jokes about paperwork and answer questions like "do you like boys or girls?" with "sometimes"; and this chapter is probably as deep as I'll get into directly addressing Ford's orientation: "I only know there's been too many aliens for me to be straight." With Bill currently in human form, Ford sees him as "Bill (triangle) stuck inside a human puppet" rather than as "Bill (human)," so how Ford feels about Bill has no relevance to how Ford feels about human genders and vice versa.)

[our-arospec-experience]

Some Arospec Identities:

This is a list of some Arospec identities! It may be incomplete, and I am not an expert, so please let me know if there are any mistakes/identities you want added. :D

Aromantic: experiencing little or no romantic attraction to anyone; not having romantic feelings.

Aro flux: someone who fluctuates between experiencing romantic attraction and not experiencing it, and/or experiencing romantic attraction to different strengths.

Abroromantic: a fluid attraction, that can mean a fluctuating attraction between genders and/or on or out and/or throughout the aromantic spectrum, to some it's just one or the other, and to others it's both. (explained here by an abro person)

Akoiromantic/lithromantic: an individual who experiences romantic attraction but has no desire or need to have their feelings reciprocated. Sometimes an akoiromantic person’s attraction may fade if a romantic relationship is established.

Alloromantic/zedromantic: someone who does experience romantic attraction. An alloromantic person may be allosexual as well, but not necessarily. This identity is not on the aromantic spectrum.

Cupioromantic: someone who does not experience romantic attraction but has a desire to be in a romantic relationship.

Demi(a)romantic: someone who only experiences romantic attraction after establishing a strong emotional connection to someone.

Frayromantic: someone who experiences romantic attraction, but this attraction fades after getting to know the object of attraction.

Grey-(a)romantic: someone who sometimes, occasionally, or rarely experiences romantic attraction. The attraction they experience may be weak, or it might be infrequent. Also used as an umbrella term for all romantic orientations that fall between alloromantic and aromantic.

Quoiromantic/WTF-romantic: someone who finds romantic attraction confusing, or cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, or is unsure of whether they experience romantic attraction. It can also mean someone who feels like the concept of romantic attraction doesn't apply to them.

Nebularomantic: is a neurosexuality specific to neurodiverse individuals, and it falls on the aromantic spectrum. It's a label for individuals who have difficulty telling the difference between romantic and platonic attraction specifically due to their neurodivergence (or can't tell the difference at all).

Caedromantic: having been able to experience romantic attraction in the past, and not experiencing romantic attraction any more, with the feeling that the romantic attraction was taken away/destroyed or left because of a traumatic experience.

Aegoromantic: Someone who is aegoromantic enjoys the concept of romance but does not want to participate in actual romantic activities. An example of this would be an aegoromantic individual enjoying watching a romantic show or reading a romance novel. However acting out these romantic stories in real life would not be appealing to an aegoromantic person. An aegoromantic individual would typically not desire a romantic relationship.

Apothiromantic: individuals on the aromantic spectrum who consider themselves to be romance-repulsed, are called apothiromantic. A romance-repulsed aromantic is repulsed by the idea of romance all together. Like with any romantic identity, apothiromantic individuals can have any sexual orientation. Their aromantic identity is not directly connected to their sexual identity.

Arospike: is an aromantic orientation on the aromantic spectrum. This identity is for those who usually do not feel a romantic attraction. Sometimes however, an arospike can experience a (rare) sudden spike of aromantic attraction that will last for a short amount of time. After this they will return just as quickly, to aromantic.

Autoromantic: is a term for individuals who experience a romantic attraction (exclusive or not) towards themselves. It can occur in different forms, such as: fantasizing about a romantic relationship with yourself. Or, as described above: feeling little to no romantic attraction to others but being able to feel romantic attraction to yourself.

Bellusromantic: defined as someone who has interest in (certain aspects of) traditional romantic behaviour such as holding hands and cuddling. However, a bellusromantic would not experience romantic attraction and does not want an actual romantic relationship. So they keyword here is ‘interest’. The interest is there, but a bellusromantic can’t and wouldn’t want to put it into practice.

Fictoromantic: falls under the aromantic spectrum as they do not experience romantic attraction to (real life) people. Fictoromantic is a term used for individuals who experience romantic attraction exclusively towards fictional characters. Fictoromantic is also known as fictonromantic.

Myrromantic: Someone who identifies as myrromantic is on the aromantic spectrum but might feel confused as to where exactly, as they can experience multiple aromantic identities at once. They can also rapidly fluctuate. As an example: a person who considers themself to be both demiromantic as well as grayromantic. This might be confusing to some, which is why myrromantic can be a more comfortable label to identify with.

Recipromantic: (also known as reciproromantic) someone who does not experience romantic attraction until they know that the other individual is romantically attracted to them first.

Requisromantic: someone who experiences a very limited, or no romantic attraction and interest due to some form of emotional exhaustion. The reason of emotional exhaust may have many reasons such as (bad) past experiences dealing with romance or other emotionally draining reasons.

Amicusromantic: means you don’t have romantic attraction to someone unless you form a platonic bond/ friendship with them.(explained here by an amicusromantic person)

Uniromantic: also known as oneromantic or unianthroromantic, refers to someone who feels romantic attraction toward one person and one person only for advanced periods of time, or perhaps one’s whole lifetime.

Desinoromantic: when one does not experience full-on romantic attraction, but a romantic attraction akin to "liking" someone rather than "loving" them

Idemromantic: when one experiences no notable internal differences between platonic and romantic feelings, often categorizing relationships (and feelings) as platonic or romantic based on external factors.

Alicoromantic or Agnoromantic: someone who knows they are somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, but their romantic orientation does not fit in any aromantic spectrum label.

Iamvanoromantic: the desire to not show romantic affection to someone but you may have the desire to receive some (via @/aroace-safe-space-for-all)

Placioromantic: you don’t have the desire to receive romantic affections but you do have the desire to show some (via @/aroace-safe-space-for-all)

Arohaze: alabel for an arospec individual who’s other orientation(s) are in between or both allo and ace/void. source

Apathromantic: Someone whose orientation form of "romance indifferent" which can also be used as a title. It does not distinguish if the person does or does not have romantic attraction, but just that they are indifferent in receiving it or acting it out. Source

Loveless Aromantic: describes someone who is on the aromantic spectrum that is in some way disconnected from the concept of love, does not feel love, may doubt that they feel love, or rejects the idea of experiencing love. source

Lovequeer: someone who fully rejects the concept of “love” as society applies it for romance, and to redefine the word around oneself and the types of love neglected by amatonormativity. source

Subtiliaromantic: someone who experiences zero romantic attraction.

Non-SAM aro: an aromantic individual who doesn’t use the Split Attraction Model, aka the SAM.

Again, tell us if there's any we can add/ have got wrong (probably tell mod ozzie, he's the one that updates it)