#i know she would have eaten up that post about the english teacher who is banging the history teacher

[vamprisms]

can't believe mary shelley wrote frankenstein at 18. when i was 18 i was reblogging hot choclety milk on tumblr dot com

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Today is what would have been my mom's 84th birthday. When I think in terms of people who have died and have been dead for a long time and it comes time for their birthdays, I always think of them as being incredibly old or would have been incredibly old if they had lived.

The thing is my mom diesd so damn young. She would not have been that old---- at least not to me. But she died at 45, when I was barely 12, and 40 years have come and gone.

I saw a post about Ramadan. And I don't know much about it I don't know if it is still going on. But I did want to put up a little tribute to the second parents that God gave me.

They were an Iraqi couple that I met when I was managing a little kiosk at the mall. I managed there for 10 years and met some of the most wonderful people who became my found family.

The man was named Zeki Al Jabir and his wife was Hayat.s

They only had sons so I became their unofficial adopted daughter.

They immigrated here from Iraq when Saddam Hussein took power and they had to leave behind a fairly privileged life including friends and family.

They both found good jobs here in the United States as professors at a university up north----though probably not as good are as fancy and glamorous as the government jobs that they held before Saddam took everything away.

They came back to Corpus Christi in their '80s to retire and that is how I found them because they walked the mall everyday.

There was a Jordanian couple who ran a kiosk next to mine and I'm guessing that's how we started talking because I heard them speaking Arabic to each other.

I told him how my father was Lebanese and that he had died when I was 20 but he never spoke Lebanese to me. He spoke fluid Lebanese and Spanish to his parents and his parents never really learned english. But he only spoke English to me and didn't seem particularly interested in teaching me any other language. Which I felt a total loss about especially as I got older and after he passed.

Zeki and Hayat were towering influences in my life. Hayat especially was a force to be reckoned with and I truly believe it is because of her that I am now a teacher and it is definitely because of her that I stepped out and published 5 books on my own.

When my first book came out I presented them with a copy and they were so proud of me. They paraded me through the mall with them and introduced me to everyone as their daughter.

Zaki especially always wanted me to become muslim. But that was just not in the cars for me at all. Although I do love and respect it. And in the end I don't think that there are that many differences between our beliefs.

Zeki would regale me with stories of living in Morocco and all the crazy things he had seen and done there. He also thought it quite a novelty that I liked girls. And unbeknownst to his wife would email me. Pictures of scantily clad he thought we both found attractive. He was a wild one! He taught me some Arabic but sadly I cannot remember almost anything now.

Zeki did not tell me when he got answered. I was actually on a trip to Washington DC to visit some of my other Lebanese relatives who are extremely hardcore Republicans and extremely stuck up. But I had gone out on a limb and had gone to visit them and we had eaten at the celebrities restaurant and tried all this wonderful wonderful evidence food and I was so proud to come back and sure it was sexy and it was the last thing we would ever share because after I said he emailed to tell him all this. Hayat assured me he read it and he died a few days later.

I ended up getting a teaching job and moving from South Texas back to West Texas and I never saw Hayat again .

I'm sure that she is in whatever Realm Of Heaven they believe in. Probably harassing Zeki about all those virgins. That's one thing I kind of never figured out. You die you went to heaven you got all those virgins but what happened to your wife?

I'm guessing she would have to be okay with it although if it was me I think I'd be demanding those virgins for myself as well. Big bisexual at all.

People are never God as long as they live on in your memory. And now I'm hoping that Zeki and Hayat will live on in yours as well.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Hi Quil/Dira!!! It's been a hot minute since I sent an ask (Or even gone on tumblr) so sorry about that!

Anything of note happen recently? Got the tumblr polls yet? Got any vanilla extract

I've scrolled a little to figure out what I've been missing out on, but... What are the presentations???

Also I started school this week and!!! I am!!! Not sure how I feel!!! On one hand, boooooo, on the other, I really like my classes and teachers :( so I can't fully hate going to school :(

Also, what name do you prefer? I saw the post about how Dira was your og name that you changed because you felt you had to. You're right it's a really pretty name.

I hope you're doing alright, my good sir! Have a nice day(?)

-Heathen

Omg Heathen! Hello! I haven't seen you in forever welcome back! Congrats on not being stuck in this hellsite like I have been for the past five years :)

I do have tumblr polls! I don't have a lot to ask about though so I haven't used them much--though I do have a poll about whether sock seams or sleeves bunched inside other sleeves are worse at the moment. Also when I was adding vanilla to my oatmeal this morning I couldn't help thinking about. Vanilla Extract. I'm never going to escape it now.

As for the presentations, that's part of Roisin's Reading Rumble! Roisin (aka camelspit) found a study guide of questions for the first keeper book on Shannon's actual official website, and he started the rumble with it! Essentially, for about 2 weeks she posted one of the questions (we didn't do all of them, he omitted a few), and anyone who wanted to participate would reblog with their answer. Roisin, aka Professor Spit, would then grade them the next day and provide the next question.

It turned into a bit of a thing--in a good way. We all played into the bit. I got sent to Time Out and that was a whole thing for a day or two. We got invested in it, but of course not everyone has the time or focus to consistently answer the questions. So after a while it was mostly me and two other people (Ashton and Gail!), and Professor Spit started developing lore for the class. he kept hinting at horrible things happening to good students. About a curse. And then on the final day, she posted this lore. So that's essentially what the reading rumble is, which connects to the presentations because they are the final assignment of the Reading Rumble! Those of us who signed up create a presentation of some kind about a character we were assigned (I chose Ro), and the posting goes until the 14th! Whether we'll get eaten by the beast afterwards remains to be seen, but it's been a fun bit of like. almost an rpg-ish interaction with each other :)

Also oh no! School! I'm the same, I like learning and there are a few classmate's whose ideas I like hearing. But I don't enjoy physically going to school (very draining and time consuming) and I don't like homework. That's not counting my online classes, those I'm more okay with because I picked the courses. There is a fair bit of work though. And one of the classes is a bit of a disaster technologically, but oh well.

As for names, I don't really have a preference! I've been using Quil so consistently for so long that I usually default to it, and it's what most people solely know me as so. I don't expect many people to change or need them to. The Dira is mostly for my sake. But people are also welcome to use it! I've had the idea maybe I'd use it more in Spanish since it sounds better with the accent, and then Quil could be more for English, but I haven't really decided.

With names, people can basically just call me whatever they want! I'm not particular. Pick one of the two, switch between them, call me a nickname, pick a random name you want to call me, whatever! I'm very loose with names and labels and everything :)

And thank you! I am doing okay! I'm going to have to make an entire presentation on Monday (we've known about this for weeks I just haven't done it and I will not spend my weekend time on it) and then give it sometime after that, and I'm not looking forward to it. But I worked it out with my professor that I wouldn't have to give the second presentation this semester if I did this one (he knows I don't enjoy them, but does want my peers to benefit from me sharing). So it's. I'll get through it.

And it is day when I'm answering this! I hope you've been doing well, whatever you've been up to. And I hope you also have a nice day!

[jeontaehui]

nananananana (210331 VLIVE)

taehee bites back a grin as fans enter the live. “hello everyoneeee,” she greets softly, her cheekbones lifting into a soft smile. “i’m in the practice room once again.”

“i was just learning a dance actually, it’s my break right now so this’ll probably be short,” she mentions. “and then i turned on vlive without asking permission— well, i did ask permission after i... turned it on,” she giggles. “she’s gonna say yes anyways. no one can say no to me,” the comments section blows up after she sent a sly wink to the viewers. she knew her effect on them one way or another. 

mark lee i love you HELLO THE TITLE?? IS THIS A SPOILER???

lee donghyuck’s long hair i only entered the live but i feel like crying T—T why must she be so cute

taeyongbub taehee in the practice room is so attractive??? wth???

taehee tucks a few strands behind her ear asking, “did you guys have dinner already? have you guys eaten?”

mataechan what did taehee eat today?

hyuckschurros PIZZA !!!!

“aw, pizza? i’m craving now,” she shortly puts on a pout before a smile shows itself once again. “i haven’t eaten but i think i’ll have........ um,” taehee seems to think for a moment as she looks up the ceiling, trying to remember what jungwoo said she’d have at the dorms.

“i can’t remember,” she shrugs, proceeding to continue reading the comments.

jungwoo tehet are you going to dance again?

aussiechan TAEHEEEE !!! come home to australia :(

svtzen DREAM SPOILERS PLEASEE

“the dance that me and my teacher did today was to party favors by tinashe! i have to practice some more to get it right but i’m,” she stands up and dusts off her track pants, placing the phone on the floor in front of the mirror, “going to show you guys the part where i’m most confident in.”

she disappears as she goes to the side to play the music, and the strong beats of tinashe’s party favors fills the practice room. she adjusts her pants around her waist and runs a hand through her black hair, ruffling her bangs for a moment before getting into position.

she dances. no matter how hard-hitting the choreography is, taehee knew well how to control her own body, and gracefully yet powerfully sync her movements to the beats.

taehee marry me she’s so hot what the heck do i do

markcity i’m single for this reason only

fullsunnn THIS IS WHY WE NEED A TAEHEE SOLO ASAP !!!

from the corner of her eye, taehee sees her dance instructor imitate the part where she got the dance wrong during their practice, causing her to lose focus and burst into laughter.

ncityinthehouse everyone, the duality of miss jeon taehee

“unnie is laughing at me right now!” taehee giggles. her eyes glance to the side then back to the screen. “yes so, until there did i memorize the dance. i’ll try to post on instagram the full version of it. oh!” she claps her hands excitedly, a habit nctzens took note of before she says an idea.

“since it’s a wednesday today and! the end of the month, you guys can comment whatever you guys want me to do or any question you want to ask and i’ll answer them.”

“i’m going to scroll with my eyes closed and whatever my finger lands on will be picked,” she cutely asks if the viewers got it before briefly explaining what she just said in english.

“i’ll give you guys maybe 30 seconds? is 30 seconds enough? okay, ready and start!”

taehee bobbed her head as she counted the numbers in her head. “30! okay, i’ll close my eyes now.”

juhfahm skincare routine?

merrymark give us a phone tour :D

twiceyeon please watch switch to me by dahyun and chaeyoung !!!! <3

“from twiceyeon,” taehee reads, putting her emcee mode on. “please watch switch to me by dahyun and chaeyoung! ohh i think i’ve seen this on my recommended but i haven’t had the time to watch it— sorry, chaeyoung-ah,” she winces.

you can hear keys being tapped on taehee’s phone screen as she typed the title on youtube’s search bar. the music video appears a few seconds later and she immediately clicks on it.

“oooo dahyun-ssi is very pretty,” taehee says. her expression quickly changes when she sees the twice member use her foot as she played the piano, her hand going up to cover the giggles that escaped out of her. “this is so cool,” she beamed.

“oh sexy!” taehee exclaims after chaeyoung appeared. “i really like chaengie’s short hair.”

she compliments the set when the scene changes, a summer pool vibe replacing the vintage set-up at the intro. “the dance is cute too,” she mumbles.

she smiles at chaeyoung and dahyun’s playfulness in the music video before moving on to compliment her best friend again. “chaeyoung is seriously so pretty... whaaat!”

taehee continues to watch the rest of the video as she moves to the beat, occasionally letting out a chuckle or two at the adorableness of the duo.

“hold on,” she grabs her earphones and plugs them into her phone. “(it’s) to avoid copyright,” she smirks.

taehee finishes the music video with a grin on her face, “the music video was very cute! did they perform this on stage? i think the stage set and the fits would’ve been pretty.”

“speaking of music videos, baekhyun hyung’s new album just dropped yesterday! have you guys watched the music video?” taehee shuffles closer to the camera to read the comments. almost everyone was saying that they did, in fact, watch the music video and really enjoyed it.

“i never said this directly to him but i really am a fan of his, seriously,” she dictates. taehee breaks into a grin as she giggles again, the viewers watching how her eyes twinkled while she talked. “‘bambi’ is really great— it’s immaculate. you guys should stream the whole album and recommend it to your family and friends. baekhyunie hyung never fails to deliver (good songs).”

bbhubblegum taehee promoting baekhyun and other artists better than sm pt. 74628392

going on her phone, she mumbles, “and i really like the choreography of his songs.” there was an adorable pout to her lips as she spoke, much to the amusement of the viewers.

then she looks up from the device in her hands and her eyes hold a certain glint in them before she playfully squints. “just be quiet about this though. i am never gonna hear the end of this from him,” she shakes her head with an amused chuckle, recalling all the times baekhyun teased her and the ‘admiration’ she has for him.

“you’re my only bambi bambi,” taehee sang effortlessly. “it’s a perfect night for you,” her tone was a little softer this time.

“okay so that was our first request? dare? of the live, let’s get to the next one right away!”

taeheeroar do you listen to the neighborhood?

wooyoungification do you want to collab with anyone? if so, who?

“the next one is.... wooyoungification! ooo wooyoung-ah hello,” taehee says, prolonging the last syllable of her sentence. “they asked, “do you want to collab with anyone? if so, who?”

“well,” she clears her throat, furrowing her eyebrows as if she were in thought. “there are a lot of great artists out there. taylor swift is already my answer by default but,” she giggles again, “if i have to think of people outside sm, i think it’d be nice to have a collab with stray kids’ 3racha. they’re their producing unit if i’m not mistaken. it’d be fun to work with them.”

“i also had this dream of having a collaboration stage with the other dancers outside nct, like blackpink’s lisa or seulgi unnie. would you guys want that?”

midzyseason this isnt good for my gay ass

reveluvbar can taehee just take over sm

taehee hums, “i think i never mentioned it before but i wanna try doing drama ost’s too. i don’t watch as much dramas as i do before, but when i was still learning korean, they helped me so much.”

“i watched ‘guardian: the lonely and great god’ a lot and i really liked ‘stay with me’. hopefully, i can collab with punch too.”

taehee unconsciously moves her lips to the side, forming another pout and thinks again. “from sm, i think kai hyung? not counting superm, okay?” she beams.

“kai hyung and,” then a snort escapes taehee before she could even stop it, “baekhyun hyung.”

she puts a hand to her chest once she recovers from her mini-giggling fit before holding it up and swearing it was the truth. “these two were the ones that came to the top of my head, seriously.”

beansprout lolll remember when kai used to “complain” about taehee ever only talking about sehun cause he was the one she was closest to in exo when they first met ?

sodangerous it’s so touching how taehee looked up to exo while she was still a trainee and now they’re like family

taehee nods and bites her bottom lip, asking herself, “why do i feel like a youtuber?”

she smiles to someone off screen and quickly glances back to the camera, “next question!”

asteroidsung what did you get for renjun’s birthday?

“what did i get for renjun’s birthday? i just gave mine literally yesterday. i know it’s summer but i gave him a hoodie that i thought would look cute on him,” she smiles. “it was pink.”

“i was with haechanie when i bought it.”

chenlezoned hyuck said he’s gonna marry daegal next month

“hyuck’s gonna marry who now?!” taehee exclaims, “DAEGAL’S A MINOR!!!”

dreamtopia BYEEEEEEE

themissingpuzzlepiece everyone at haechan marrying daegal:❓❓meanwhile taehee: 🌋🌋⁉️

boohoohyuck sending my prayers to lee haechan

just then, taehee’s phone suddenly rings and her eyes widen at the caller id displayed on the screen. “wow, this dude’s timing is really! spot-on.”

she puts the speaker on, “donghyuck-ah, what’s this i’m hearing that you’re marrying daegal?? are you leaving me and chubs already?! oh and you’re on speaker.”

fullseun don’t you just cry on the inside when markhee calls hyuck by his real name or fullsun

you hear haechan’s boisterous laughter first before he could answer taehee’s question. “i talked about that on vlive,” he said, “where are you?”

“i’m doing vlive.”

“but it’s almost midnight.”

when taehee makes no move to answer, haechan goes, “are you in the practice room again?”

“so?” taehee answers sassily, causing the boy on the other end of the line to groan.

“noona, we talked about this already,” haechan whines. “then we can talk about it again later!” taehee shrugs exasperatedly. “noona....” the former warns, as if he was scolding a child. “i’m just on a break,” she gives in, “i’ll go home soon.”

“promise?” taehee rolls her eyes, though it was clear that she was grateful for haechan’s concern by the soft smile she held on her face. “i promise.”

taehyuckles i know i wished for a taehyuck live but this will suffice Gosh they are so cute !!!!!!

“you haven’t said hello to czennie,” taehee reminds him. “czennie, hello!!” he greets sweetly.

“anyways, i just called you because you agreed to playing a few rounds with me but i’ll just wait for you until you get home,” taehee winces at his statement. she might have forgotten. “oh right, i’m sorry. just a few more minutes?” haechan hums affirmatively from the other end.

“get home safely, noonaaa,” after they exchanged their goodbyes, taehee hangs up the call.

“yes, okay! everyone that was lee haechan on the phone with me and i think i can do,” she turns her back to look at the wall clock in the practice room, “three more comments.”

yangqied taehee’s an idol in the day, pro-gamer by night

“okay, so our next question is: are you friends with aespa? yes! i am friends with aespa,” she beamed.

“i actually saw them the day before their debut stage. my time slot in the practice room was after theirs and so we met there,” taehee recalls. “they’re very pretty! and they look cool when they danced to ‘black mamba’. i wished them luck on their debut stage,” she chuckles.

taehee closes her eyes and proceeds to swipe at the screen, “next question is... oh! i dare you to post on instagram. okay, let me find some photos and show you guys so we can all vote.”

“i’ll send them on bubble but i’ll show it here too in case you guys don’t have a subscription. that’s okay.”

markerlee tb to when taehee sent her pcs to bubble... she really said fuck capitalism !!!!

“okay, option 1: this one,” she brings her phone up to the screen, showing a picture of her with the bird filter on mac.

jisungbye I LIKE THIS ONEEE

kunniekunkun this one��s cute!!!

moloism markhee pls post ur photos with the mac filters im begging you

“orrrr this one,” she faces her phone towards the camera once more. she was sitting on the pavement with the view of the orange-pink sunset behind her, a mask concealing half of her face.

the127thsense everything just screams girlfriend material to me

deryqueen taehee, i am free this friday. i repeat, i am free this friday.

solhyuck i think you should post these as a set on instagram!

“what should i post on instagram? everyone choose between 1 or 2!” taehee tells them in korean, before switching to english. “you guys pick between the first one and the second one, and i’ll post it on instagram.”

oncezenni 2

flamboyanthyuck the second one!

ohmajesus i like the first one

iamjeno second pleaseee

“mm okay, most of you are voting for the second one so i’ll be posting that first thing tomorrow! and then i’ll just send the other one on bubble,” taehee puts her pinky finger up as she speaks, making a promise to the viewers.

“how many was that? two already?” a pout subtly makes its way on taehee’s lips and a few of her hair strands fell in front of her face, causing her to push them back as she huffed. nctzens found it adorable!

takeoffbesttrack can i kiss you.

“can you kiss me?” taehee presses her lips on the tips of her fingers before lightly tapping them on the screen. “i,” one of the corners of her mouth raises to a smirk, “kissed you.”

mahaecries GODDDD

tenvely you will be the death of me

deryqueen AGAIN TAEHEE I AM FREE THIS FRIDAY NIGHT !!!!!!!!!!

taehee giggles after seeing the comment section blow up and her dimples peek out from her cheeks.

“i’m gonna have to end this soon, guys. this is the last one, okay?”

haecity can you go live with markhyuck?

snoopyscoop do you have any more funny stories with jungwoo?

taromilktea did you see sungchan when he debuted as an emcee?

“did i go see sungchan when he debuted as emcee? nooo,” she frowns, “but i did call him on facetime.”

“he said he was nervous but i told him he’d do great! and he did, right?” taehee’s frown was quickly turned into a proud grin. “i watched a replay of it on youtube the day after. he was very cute.”

“i told him to just think of it like he was talking to us so he’s more comfortable, and he told me it helped a lot so i’m relieved,” she nods. “i sent him churros too!”

taehee shuffles closer to the camera and brings her knees close to her chest while she talks, “please support him! i know sungchanie’s glad to have received this opportunity that’s why he’s been practicing diligently.”

taehee reads a few more comments and smiles at the funny ones. the humor of nctzens never fail to make her smile. the memes they send during menpas are so hilarious that she can’t help but reply to most of them.

taeheespresident i guess she’s gonna end the live now? :(

jungwootehet it’s nearing 1 am and i still have school tomorrow...... whoops!

“i’ll have to go now guys, it was nice doing all this with you,” taehee softly mumbles.

“i like this idea of having you guys comment what you would want me to do ‘cause i’m able to connect with you guys more, i’ll try to do a live again soon.”

“the weather’s nice here in korea— well at least for me,” she chuckles, “it rained recently but it might be hot? in other places so please remember to stay hydrated and drink lots of water.”

“also wear your masks and keep social distancing! we’re not only trying to protect ourselves but we have to stop the spreading of it all so,” taehee gives another small smile at the camera as she reminds the people to be careful, “stay safe.”

after a few beats of silence, taehee speaks again. “okay so, until here is taehee’s nananananana live!” she sings while doing the infamous choreo of ‘go’.

empathy127 I KNEW IT WAS FROM GO !!!!

“good night! or good morning to those who are starting their day right now,” she adds, “goodnight! we’ll see you guys soon.”

taehee does her infamous ily hand gesture and winks at the camera before waving bye and ending the livestream.

[your-local-terror]

Hey everyone! I need your help!

I have been looking for a movie I used to watch as a little kid for a long time now, and I'd consider it lost media, I will be posting on every one of my platforms until something is uncovered, if this goes on long enough a separate blog in search of this film will be made. Here is the reddit post I made explaining what I know about it, and if you do not wish to read it on the site I copied what I said and it will be under the cut

Note; link might not work I am struggling to keep the post up lol.

Hey everyone, I am trying my best to find this film, I do remember it to an extent, and I will be explaining everything that I know here. Please note, I watched this a lot when I was younger, maybe around the ages 6 or 7, and I have already tried looking for this for months. (Also please excuse any grammar/spelling mistakes, English is not my first language, and I am only typing what sounds right.)

First, the title. It was something along the lines or mangy/maxie/mangemouse. It was always 'something'mouse that started with an m, but at the same time last night while I was looking and trying to remember exactly what it was called, it could also have been started with an f, either that or my memory is tricking me.

Now onto the story, I do remember the basic plot and what happened so I will try to make this as detailed as possible here, but please note not everything will be to the dot. So mangy/maxie/mangemouse[I think i'll call him Maxie for sake of shortness] was made by some old clay sculptor, who enjoyed making little clay mice, and I remember that in his home were some talking mice as well who would come out to watch him finish his product, I don't remember if he knew or talked to them, all I knew is they were talking mice. One night, he was finishing up with painting a little mouse with blueish-grey fur and a red cardigan. He brought it over to some type of metal tube which he set it on a tray and moved it into the (what I can only assume was an) oven. He then leaves the house and goes through his backyard to his own home and goes to sleep.(I'm not sure if he did cross his backyard or not so take that part with a pinch of salt) The next day he gets up and looks outside only to realize that in the house where the clay he made last night was burning (he could see smoke no flames) so he got up and ran to the room in which the clay mouse was cooking, and the tube thing was smoking so in a panic he opened it up and brought the mouse out, which was now a bit deformed, as it had long cat-like back legs and big rabbit-like ears, and the fur was no longer bluish-grey and was now greyish-blue, almost a light royal blue color. I also think it was missing it's tail? Anyways, upset that his clay mouse was ruined he brings it into his home and puts it on his nightstand, I do not remember much else from this scene but I do remember when he went to bed again, some magic stuff happened and Maxie was brought to life, and then snuck out of the house to go off on his own.

Now, there are a lot of plot holes from here in my mind, as the 2 other scenes I remember are far apart from one another and I'm sure there was stuff in between each of them, so please excuse how random this feels.

Now the thing I remember next is Maxie meeting a schoolgirl, she feeds him half of her sandwich and lets him rest in her pocket while she goes to school. After school some bully kid makes fun of her for something, and he takes Maxie from her, and she's scared that he's gonna hurt the small creature so she bites him on the hand hard, to which he lets Maxie go. Maxie stays with the girl as a teacher comes over to make sure she says sorry and scolds the boy a bit for being mean to her at all (the girl was crying by now too due to the stress of the situation) Once that is all covered the teacher gets the girl to talk about Maxie, and explains to both of them that Maxie's species is some special species who has to go meet with a mangy/maxie/mangecat to get eaten and fulfill a prophecy (almost everyone he meets recognizes him as this and tells him so, and his quest then turns into one of finding this mangy/maxie/mangecat thing) and he then leaves the girl with a tearful goodbye.

The next scene I remember is Maxie being in a circus, and befriending a tiger, whom he helps escape, there is also a scene with him scaring the elephants and such but otherwise I don't remember. Then he runs off with the tiger, who is then chased by dogs as the police want to hunt it down and kill it. He helps the tiger escape by doing something as distraction with scent and otherwise I do not remember anything else form here, aside from when he went home he rode in a truck and the tiger was on the radio. I also believe the tiger was killed at some point in a car wreak due to this. Or just injured, either that or the tiger was in the car because now that I think about it, someone tried to steal it by putting it in the trunk, and thus caused a chase scene that caused someone to die, most likely the person driving or the tiger (they crashed into a tree)

Now, onto the final scenes I remember.

Our dear friend Maxie takes a train I believe to get to where the mangy/maxie/mangecat is (for this I will call them Mange) and visits their home, he is welcomed in with open arms and they sit down at the table and eat crackers while Mange's wife (another mangy/maxie/mangecat) starts to cry and excuses herself. While she is gone, Maxie and Mange discuss that Mange will have to eat them in a ceremony, and how neither of them would like that to happen but it must be done. For the rest of the movie's tone, even the tiger death, this was a really big tone shift as it got more serious for a bit. After that, they get ready and head out to a stratum where Maxie is set on a plate for Mange to eat, while mice and cats watch on from the stands, mice yelling protests and cats cheering Mange on. There is a whole scene where Maxie avoids any knives/forks Mange tries to jab him with before Mange cries and exclaims that he does not want to eat Maxie, and instead they will become friends and thus screws over whatever prophecy was going on (there was no magic or curse that went with it so it wouldn't like, damn everyone if they didn't do it) and Maxie and Mange decide to become neighbors, with Maxie living in a tree growing above Mange's house (which is like, half of the hill) and Maxie marries a field mouse and has a bunch of kids and that's where it ends.

Side notes; Maxie can speak to everyone in this movie, all previous friends are never brought up again once he leaves them (as they were only plot relevant for that time) and the entire movie has a studio ghibli kind of theme for the art style, I also think that Mange and Maxie had real names that they were given, but I am not aware.

I have been looking for months and therefore I have no references, because even looking up plot points or variations of the name or description of the characters I get nothing. Please I ask of you all to help me reunite with my childhood, I'll continue to look on my own end, but some outside assistance would be absolutely wonderful. If anybody gets any small speck of information, I would greatly appreciate it. I will be sharing this story on other platforms as well (as the form of a copy-paste) in hopes of finding something, thank you for your time.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s Late Autumn Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

This post is dedicated to @stehkotori​, an incredible woman who created and maintains a home for us on Discord to share our love for MLQC. She’s also very encouraging and sweet 😭💕

Kiss Dates Collection: Kiro // Lucien // Victor

Hearing yet another bout of loud laughter from downstairs, I take up my phone and enter Gavin’s number, planning to tell him to meet me directly in the music room.

Just as the dial tone sounds, I hear a familiar ringtone behind me.

I turn around to see Gavin leaning against the door frame, his lips lifted in a gentle smile.

[Note] He only has one official CG in this date so I made another myself]

MC: You actually found me! I was about to tell you to come to the music room directly.

Gavin: Mr Keller said you disappeared right after signing the attendance, so I guessed that you’d be here.

MC: I’m not the type to participate in such lively events. Mr Keller will understand.

It is Loveland High’s hundred-year anniversary today. As “Outstanding Alumni”, Gavin and I have been invited to participate in the ceremony.

However, it’s a little too noisy with the announcements and music blaring downstairs.

Furthermore, as a mere producer for a small program, I have nothing in common to talk about with the distinguished figures present today. It’s best to stay in the music room, where I can enjoy the peace and quiet.  

MC: According to the schedule, all the outstanding alumni have to go on stage to shake hands with the Principal. While I’m far from being “outstanding”, you’re not.

MC: Ever since Principal Fang heard that the current commander of the Special Task Force graduated from Loveland High, he’s been wanting to meet you.

Gavin: I’ve never liked participating in lively events. You know that.

He walks over, lowering his eyes to meet mine.

Gavin: Are you playing the piano?

I scoot to the side, patting the empty space on the piano bench.

Gavin smiles and sits down next to me.

MC: Do you feel as though we’ve been coming to school quite often?

Gavin: Mm, but I like the feeling of coming back here with you. It brings back many memories.

MC: Things from high school?

Gavin’s gaze falls onto the black and white piano keys, his amber eyes filled with the tranquil daylight of late autumn.

He doesn’t respond to my question, as though recalling something. He seems to have entered a trance, the corners of his lips raised slightly.

I rarely see such an expression on his face.

MC: Gavin?

I tug on his sleeve gently, eyes full of queries.

Gavin: Some things from high school, and some things from the Special Task Force.

There is a smile in his eyes as he speaks, as if all his recollections are happy memories.

Gavin: I haven’t thought about how to tell you about them yet.

Curious, I stare at him for a few seconds. I lean over to pull on his left hand.

MC: In that case, you have the duration of one song to organize your words.

Gavin places his fingers on the keys obediently.

Gavin: All right, I’ll do my best to keep up with you.

As soon as the prelude starts, Gavin instantly casts me a glance – this is the tune most familiar to us.

The chords he plays with his left hand easily match the melody I play with my right. We don’t make a single mistake.

Accompanying the sounds of the piano, many images resurface in my mind.

The scene when I met him again, the ginkgo bracelet on my wrist which accompanies me day and night, every sunrise we waited for together, every starlight we have seen…

If I were to take count, every memorable moment was spent together with him.

MC: Actually, I came here once when you weren’t around. There wasn’t a reason why I did it. I just had a sudden whim to take a look.

Gavin: Did you gain anything?

MC: It was dismissal time, and the field was very crowded. I think there was a class having a basketball competition. You could hear their heated shouts from outside the school gate.

MC: Oh, I even saw two people laying on the flower bed stand doing corrections for a test paper. Maybe the teacher wanted to check them. My language teacher back then used to love checking our test papers during night revision sessions.

MC: When going up the teaching building, I was thinking… did we often meet at the stairway back then? Did we pass by each other, just that we didn’t know one another?

Gavin: We didn’t.

His tone is plain and ordinary, as though we are talking about trivial matters like what to have for a meal.

Gavin: We met often, but never passed by each other. I remember every moment I saw you in school. Time, location, weather, your expression, your clothes – I remember them all.

His fingers linger between the black and white piano keys, sunlight flashing in his eyes.

Gavin: Even now, I still remember.

With the sudden pause of my hand, the tune abruptly stops.

MC: …we seem to have really missed out on a lot.

Gavin responds to my sudden lament with an expression reflecting a lack of understanding. He doesn’t probe, waiting for me to continue.

MC: I’ve thought about a few things since a very long time ago. For example… cheering you on at the basketball court after school. And then proudly telling the entire class that the name of the tallest and most accurate shooter is ‘Gavin’!

MC: Back then, there was a small stall outside the school gate selling red bean puffs. $3 for one, $5 for two. It was crispy on the outside and sweet on the inside, with a generous amount of filling. You’ve definitely not eaten it before…

MC: Now, the Cityscape Management doesn’t allow the setting up of stalls outside the school gate, so I don’t have the chance to bring you there to eat.

MC: We used to have late night self-study sessions and were only dismissed after 9pm. The girls in the same class would find company to walk with. If you were there, you’d have been able to send me home.

Upon hearing this, Gavin hesitates slightly.

Gavin: Um, I didn’t have a car back then.

MC: I’m referring to a bicycle!

Gavin: …you can continue.

MC: Piano lessons were way too dull. Once I sit here, it would be for several hours, playing the same song over and over again. Sometimes, I’d think of going out to have fun - to go shopping, sing karaoke, eat all kinds of good food, or do my homework while having a drink in a small shop.

MC: Also, the 800-metres physical test was literally my nightmare! If you were there to practice running with me, I wouldn’t have passed only after my third test.

The moments I spent in Loveland High replay in my mind, but the things that are brimming in my memory, apart from the purity of youth, blazing passion and ignorance, seems to be missing something.

MC: If I could be with you back then… my deepest memories in high school wouldn’t have just been of exams.

If not for the misunderstanding, if not for us going around in circles – the tedious high school homework and boring practices would have had a completely different experience.

Whenever I think about these possibilities, I feel sorry for us.

I pretend to be angry, loosening myself from his grip. I stand up, wear a serious expression, and lodge a “complaint” against him.

MC: It’s all your fault! …you didn’t give me a chance to know you earlier.

Astonishment flashes in his eyes, and his voice is hesitant.

Gavin: …I didn’t think that you would have such thoughts.

MC: Well, now you do – we missed out on a whole six years! Even if we want to make up for it every day, it wouldn’t be enough even if you spend a full twenty-four hours with me.

Of course, I’m just joking around with Gavin. However, his expression clearly shows that he has taken my words seriously.

He stands up slowly. When his eyes meet mine, they contain a sorrowful smile that I haven’t seen for a very long time.

I’m about to coquettishly say that he has to repay his debt, but he traps me in between his arms.

Before I can react, a familiar scent takes my breath away.

Without a shred of hesitation, he kisses me.

The kiss carries an overtone of recklessness and ravaging – as he fiercely rubs the territory between my lips and teeth, his hands grip my waist tightly.

Searing breaths descend on my lips. I open my eyes slightly and see unsuppressed aggression brimming in his amber-coloured gaze.

I suddenly recall how I had trembled when meeting his eyes for the first time.

MC: Senior…

I try to open my mouth amidst his continuous demands, but am only able to release an incoherent mess of words.

Gavin eventually stops for a few seconds. His breathing is ragged, but he doesn’t pull back.

Gavin: I was just thinking about that.

He lets out an incredibly soft laugh, gently tucking messy strands of hair on my cheek behind my ear with his left hand. His lips follow after his warm fingertips, descending on my cheek again and again.

Gavin: Whatever I owe you, I’ll return them one by one… is that okay?

He leans over to my ear and speaks in a low voice. Mixed with desire, the sound is enveloped with cloudy breaths, and every wisp leads to an itch in my heart.

MC: Gavin.

There are so many things in my heart that I want to say. In the end, I can only think of calling his name gently.

The corners of Gavin’s lips are hooked into a smile. He suddenly lifts me up with a hand.

MC: …!

In my panic, I grab onto his shoulders. He simply tilts his head and smiles, placing me directly onto the piano.

The piano lets out a noise in response to the sudden weight. Just as I’m about to exclaim, my lips are sealed once again—

Student A: What was that sound just now?

Student B: Probably someone in the music room.

Student A: Want to take a look?

Although the footsteps and voices outside grow increasingly louder, Gavin maintains an air of disregard, continuing to encircle me in his arms.

He not only ignores the voices, but also takes a step forward. He puts his knee on the piano bench, pushing me completely onto the piano.

A few piano keys resound at the contact, embellishing our ragged breathing.

Student B: What’s there to see in the music room? It’s definitely someone from our club anyway. Let’s hurry over to the ceremony – I heard that the commander of the Special Task Force would be here today!

Student A: Are you serious? I saw him on television once – he’s super alpha!

Student B: Mr Zheng said so the last time, so it shouldn’t be wrong. Hurry up, we wouldn’t get good seats if we’re late!

Hasty footsteps pass by, not even stopping for a moment outside the music room.

I look towards Gavin, lightly tugging at the corner of his shirt. At the same time, I gently bite his lip, wordlessly expressing the feelings in my heart at this very moment.

As though punishing me for my mischief, his eyes narrow slightly. With a hand on my cheek, he presses my entire body onto the piano.

MC: …

I close my eyes, holding onto his solid arms. I lift my head to welcome his lips, savouring his unique breath.

The person in front of me has shed off the roughness of youth, leaving behind only the purity of youth. He often makes me forget that he once used to be unrestrained like the wind.

He has a body that is stronger than everyone else’s, a tough soul, a will that is as firm as steel, and a heart full of tenderness – it is soft beyond compare.

I cling to his waist tightly using my calves, wanting to brand every part of him into my heart.

I want to bear his everything.

Gavin: …

Another light laugh enters my eyes. I open my eyes halfway, feeling the wind slowly sweep past my burning skin.

Even before I sober up from the deep kiss that almost stripped me of consciousness, the scene in front of my eyes causes me to let out a cry of surprise.

Countless ginkgo leaves are floating in the air, dancing outside the window.

The color gold covers every window. Every leaf seems to be drawn by something, spreading their wings as they spin past the floor.

Students standing along the corridor of the teaching building also exclaim, and are unable to hold back their surprised “wow”s!

Gavin smiles faintly. It’s only after a long while before the repeated warmth lingering on my lips gradually leaves the scorching ambience.

Gavin: Do you like it?

I straighten up, leaping off the piano neatly. I kneel on the piano bench with one leg, pressing myself against him.

MC: I like it. I like it very much.

I raise my head, using my fingers to rub his chin, his lips, the tip of his nose, and the corner of his brow.

MC: I like it so much that… I don’t know how I can prove to you just how much I like it.

Gavin reaches out to hold the hand which has drifted to the space between his eyebrows. He has a generous smile.

Gavin: …we did miss out on a lot. Back then, I wasn’t certain if I could have you for life.

I look straight into his bright eyes, and laugh quietly.

MC: And are you very certain now?

Gavin: Mm.

Gavin responds without much thought. His slightly raised eyebrows reveal a sense of pride.

Gavin: I hope you can give me an answer to this question as well.

He holds onto my waist, leaning over to hug me tightly in his arms. Even though he doesn’t continue with his questions, I immediately surrender.

MC: It’s all yours. The rest of my life is yours. The years we missed are also yours.

Everything I have, I’ll give to you.

I won’t leave anything to myself. I’ll give it all to you.

-

🌸 MOMENTS 🌸

Gavin’s Post: Today’s pork rib soup tastes great. 

MC: Is Commander Gavin satisfied with the supper which was prepared with love? 

Gavin: There’s no need to wait up for me next time. 

-

Gavin’s Post: Today’s pork rib soup tastes great.

MC: You’ll do the cooking over the weekend.

Gavin: Yes ma’am.

-

Gavin’s Post: Today’s pork rib soup tastes great.

MC: Can you taste my new recipe? 

Gavin: You added ginkgo, right? 

[ichika27]

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun s2 ep18

Was gonna post this days ago but I decided to do twewy-related stuff first lol.

Anyways, lots of pictures below again. At least 20, I think. Talks of ships below as well.

The last time we saw them, Iruma had jumped in front of the beast preparing to shoot a blast of magic in front of Ronove. Everyone else is worried but don’t know what to do cause if they tried to help, they’d get blasted, too. It seems though that Iruma himself has a plan.

Iruma plans to use Ali-san’s ability to swallow the huge amount of magic to eat the blast of it the beast is going to release saying he thought it was possible since Ali-san is the Ring of Gluttony. Arikured is surprised by this and complains at first but agrees he could do such a thing but Iruma's strength will be needed to succeed.

Remember that spell Iruma learned before about changing the appearance of something? Iruma uses that magic spell to turn Ali-san into this... cat thing. Giant cat thing idk so it could swallow the magic. Ali-san swallows the entire beast and let it explode inside him. Once it was over, the sky clears up, too. The plan totally worked and Ali-san is full!

Does this mean Iruma could use the power that got eaten from the beasts?

Trouble is over and Iruma gets together with his friends again. His friends were all worried about him though and Kalego-sensei came up to tell him he'd been reckless again. Iruma says he hasn't forgotten about what Kalego-sensei had said before at the home visit and that he had now finally understood what sensei meant. He was so used to danger due to almost always being in one himself that he never realized how bad such situations were until everyone else he cared about got affected. He adds that he gave it everything he's got even though he wasn't sure he'd even win because he wants to protect everyone and holding onto that ideal is part of his "desire".

I’m happy this arc helped some of them grow and show the growth of those who already have. Pretty cool.

Random screenshot but I just wanna direct your attention to fluffy Kalego-sensei who is being adorable right now. I cannot take him seriously when he’s like this and even when he’s angry, this form makes it look adorable.

Back to the story.

While all the mess is happening on the surface, Kiriwo-senpai has finally been found by the Six Fingers who are there to help him escape under the orders of Baal. The other escaping inmates are also in the area but still behind bars and Kiriwo-senpai tells them that he never planned to help them escape alongside him and never said he'd do such thing in the first place.

I kinda feel bad for them but they are also bad people so, eh.

Upon donning the same coat the Six Fingers' wear, one of the prisoners had the realization that unlike all of them there who are merely "bad", Kiriwo is actually "evil".

One of the Six Fingers asked why they couldn't just let the prisoners escape, too as it'll help in causing chaos and Kiriwo-senpai answers that seeing the despair the prisoners are gonna be in when they realize they'd never be let out despite going this far will be fun to see. Plus, they're not strong enough and will be caught again anyways.

I missed seeing Kiriwo-senpai’s evil hairstyle. It’s been a while. I guess this answers the question I had back in season 1: Kiriwo-senpai chose to be evil. Sad but I should’ve seen it coming.

Back on the surface, a parade starts and on the float are the heroes who saved Walter Park. While Iruma is properly mentioned, the owner, Rossevelt also shows off his son (Ronove does call him Legend-daddy as in the English word lol). The owner thanks Iruma for saving the park and calls him a hero.

They look alike except for the mustache and hair length. Anime genetics never fail. Does Legend-daddy also sing his own bgm?

Unbeknownst to our heroes, Kiriwo-senpai is around the corner watching the parade. He's surprised to find out that not only was Iruma also at Walter Park at this time but Iruma is also the one to defeat the beast. Instead of being angry at another evil plan foiled, Kiriwo-senpai says that this must be destiny and was happy to see Iruma. He was gonna walk out into the crowd but snaps out of this happy state by a call from Baal.

Senpai really blurs the line between love and hate cause he acts similarly when it comes to Iruma. Congrats to the fans of this ship for getting this scene and also, I still don’t know the ship name for them. How do I tag this?

Back to the phone call, Baal isn't happy that the park still stands. Walter Park is created to vent out demons' evil cycle after all and he has no need for that in his goals as he prefers that the demons go way beyond the evil cycle and just become ultimately evil. Unfortunately for him, the authorities are coming and they can't really do much else so he tells Kiriwo-senpai and the rest to escape already.

After being told to escape, Kiriwo-senpai says that this isn’t the end and declares that he and Iruma will meet again as they are destined enemies.

I guess in Iruma’s harem, he’s the “enemies to lovers” love interest lol.

Iruma looks at the direction where Kiriwo-senpai was but of course, he doesn’t see anything and he’s none the wiser.

Opera gives Iruma back his backpack at the float. As Iruma looks inside for his stuff, he finds the note his grandfather gave him of things he must do on his trip with the final one on the list being "Have fun with everyone!". Iruma looks at his smiling friends and thinks that even though a lot of scary things happened today, he still did have fun with them. Aww so cute!

Iruma gets reunited with his worried grandpa who goes to the hotel to check on him. Iruma says he couldn't go home early as Ronove's dad let them stay at the hotel as thanks for saving the park. Ronove’s dad adds that they are also Sullivan's students so he's happy to give them such things. Iruma tells his grandpa that he's happy and okay and that the teachers and Opera protected them. Grandpa Sullivan decided that the three adults would be given the job of protecting Iruma from now on (and Kalego-sensei felt a chill down his spine elsewhere in the hotel lol).

These two adults are the same. They probably won’t stop talking about their kids if you’re around them. Reminds me of FMA’s Maes Hughes (thought still makes me sad).

While the teachers are discussing information about the attacks, Kalego-sensei goes to his room to find his team on the bed making fun of the stuff he said earlier much to his annoyance. The boys said wanted to stay in the teachers' room as it's better than the room they got but Kalego-sensei quickly kicks them out.

The girls also get rewards and are allowed to get any clothes they wanted which made them happy. Ronove’s dad is pretty generous, huh? Like, I know these guys deserve it for all their hard work but the guy looks so happy that he’d probably still be nice to them even without all the trouble happening.

They are all also given an all-you-can-eat buffet. Iruma eats a ton of food obviously. Clara is having fun at the chocolate fountain thing and Ronove is trying to make Agares eat. Those two got close, huh? lol I wonder if Ronove’s doing this to try and make Agares unattractive or something. It’ll be cool if they became friends though with their very contrasting personalities and all.

While everyone is having fun inside, Iruma leaves without anyone else realizing except for Ameri who decides to follow. They end up at the rooftop by themselves with Ameri trying to calm herself down as she's thinking of romantic stuff as it’s just the two of them. Iruma then reminds Ameri of the question she asked him before about his goal and tells her he finally found one: he wants have fun with everyone. He's willing to change in order to be able to protect that ideal of his. Ameri is happy to see Iruma has grown.

Ameri decided that she also wants to give it her all for her own desires and ambitions. She then tries to tell Iruma something but sadly she gets cockblocked by Clara and Azz both appearing. Ameri gives up for now and tells Iruma to just go with his friends.

Before leaving, Iruma asks Ameri a question - the same thing she was going to ask him earlier! He asks if they could hang out sometimes but just the two of them and she passes out from this lol.

Congratulations to Iruma x Ameri fans for getting a scene like this, too. I also don’t know the ship name for them. Anyways, why is it just the senpais getting a moment with Iruma? Ameri has been getting a lot of moments, too and it’s making me wonder if she’s endgame.

lol also, Ameri is worried about the other female rivals not realizing there’s another threat somewhere else.

While all that teen drama is happening, both Romiere's dad and Iruma's grandpa are being interviewed on tv. The two men then tell everyone how their kids and those kids' friends are the heroes of Walter Park. Since Iruma's name had been specifically mentioned (with everyone knowing the heroes are "Iruma and friends"), there ends up being reporters outside the hotel wanting to see Iruma the next day. Iruma, of course, doesn't like this popularity. With the thought that there may also be reporters waiting at his home, Clara offers to let Iruma stay at her house.

Oooh... will we finally get Iruma x Clara and Iruma x Azz moments as well? Hehehe

There's something new in the ED video by the way! This used to be for Kuromu but now it’s for these boys! Cute!

---

I’m guessing this is the end of this arc? I wonder what the last one will be since we only have like, what, 6 episodes more? What kind of arc will it be, I wonder cause this one had battles.

Okay, the end where the heroes are mentioned to be “Iruma and friends”, I’m happy and surprised that none of the others were bothered by this at all. No one complained about why Iruma is the only one specifically named. It didn’t cause a fight between the entire group unlike what would’ve happened if this was any other story. I get why Iruma got proper credit as he is the one to end the incident and saved everyone around from being fried but his friends did a lot of work, too and it’d have been better if they were all credited properly in the news. None of them were mad though and are happy that they won because they did their best.

Ronove calling his dad “Legend-daddy” will never not be cute and funny to me. His dad, despite being rich enough to own this entire park, isn’t an annoying, arrogant asshole and I like that. I’m happy that most characters in this show subvert my expectations and they make me like them more.

I’m sorry if I don’t tag ships in my mairuma posts but I don’t know any of the series’ ship names lol. Speaking of ships, as I mentioned before, Ameri’s been getting a lot of moments with Iruma or focus on her growing feelings for Iruma. Kiriwo-senpai only showed up a bit in this arc and got a bit for himself, too. Kuromu and Clara only had a bit when Iruma went evil cycle and I wonder if they’d get more, too. I personally ship him with Azz so I wish they’d gets some moments as well. Eiko gets hers mostly on the “Interval” segments.

So... is it possible to have a mairuma dating sim or not? Look at how many routes are available! XD

Anyways, focus next time is on Clara’s family probably with Iruma spending time there. I expect another Valac Family musical! XD

Thanks for reading!

[ihatecoconut]

Finding You

Cross Posted to AO3

The Conlons moved from Ireland to New York when Spot was ten and he ran away a little under a year later. If you asked him about it, he would tell you that nothing particularly dramatic happened to push him to make that final leap, he would tell you that he had just decided that he had had enough of the fighting, the violence and the judgement and there, in New York, he found that he knew the streets in a way that he had never known his way around in Ireland.

To him, it was as if he had been there before and spent a lifetime learning how to get around in the easiest, quickest, safest way possible. This was, of course completely true. Spot didn’t know that though- unlike the Jacobs siblings, still several hundred miles away, he had repressed the memories of before and wasn’t aware that he had actually been in New York before.

Regardless of what he remembered, he ran away from the little home his father had bought and navigated the streets of Brooklyn, into Manhattan, with no conscious idea of where he was going. 

When the evening came, he found himself a back alley outside a small bakery to sleep in and dug through the trash until he found an oversized winter jacket- it was missing most of its fasteners, and there were a few rips in it, but it was warm and it covered Spot enough to keep him hidden. He slept there that night, fitfully and woken by every odd noise, flinching every time he heard footsteps or a door slamming. He was exhausted when morning came and the bakery’s workers began setting up for the day, and he was also starving. The bread oven was on and he could smell it baking; he hadn’t eaten in over 12 hours, despite being used to having three meals a day and it was beginning to hurt.

He curled up further into the coat and refused to cry.

“I think it’s a kid…” he heard a voice whisper, “we don’t know what to do,”

He sat up at that, noticing that the door he had been curled up opposite was open now, and he had obviously been asleep because the sun was much higher in the sky- he couldn’t run away, he would be noticed almost immediately.

“Hey.” A voice said, from the doorway and Spot looked up into the eyes of a concerned man. A concerned man that part of him recognised, that part of him was convinced he could trust.

“Hi.”

“Are you hungry?” The man continued, holding out a paper bag, “I brough some food.”

Spot uncurled enough to lean forwards and take the bag, inside was a medium sized roll of bread and a croissant. “Thank you.” He said, stuffing the food into his mouth.

“Hey, hey not so fast,” the man said, leaning forwards to stop him shoving the whole roll in at once, “you’ll make yourself sick.”

Obediently, Spot slowed his chewing down, cursing himself for being so afraid of people that he would just follow orders without question. The man broke off bits of the roll and handed them to him, apparently not trusting that he wouldn’t just eat it at once.

“I’m Denton.” The man said, “Bryan Denton, I’m a teacher at the local high school.”

Spot knew that the man wanted his name, but if he gave Denton his name then he would be able to find his parents and send him back,

“Hey, hey.” The man said, for the second time, “I’m not gonna hurt you, and I’m not gonna send you back to wherever you ran away from.”

“What makes you think I ran away from anywhere?” Spot demanded, ripping the bit of roll that he had into smaller pieces.

“I foster three children,” Denton told him, “Niamh, Sophia, and Tommy. They’re all with me because they ran away from bad lives.”

“Oh.” The names were familiar to him in the same way that Denton himself had been, and now that Spot thought about it they were all familiar in the same way the streets of New York had been.

“I have a spare room.” Denton continued casually, as if they were discussing the weather rather than the fact that Spot had run away. “It’s yours if you want it.”

“You won’t send me back?” Spot asked, hating how small he sounded, “Even if they come looking?”

“I would never send you back somewhere you hated so much that you ran away.”

“Ok.”

Denton was true to his word with a vigour that Spot had not expected, he dealt with the police, he dealt with his parents’ lawyers and he fought tooth and nail to keep Spot with him. Niamh- Hotshot as she had introduced herself- said that he had done the same for all three of them, and then she had looked at him as if she was expecting that to mean something. It didn’t, but Spot was pretty certain that somewhere deep inside of him it did, and he just had to uncover that part.

*

Race, on the other hand, had lived in New York his entire life. His parents had emigrated from Italy when his mother was pregnant, and he had been born in Manhattan. He spoke Italian at home and English at school, and his memories came to him as he was introduced to the people he had known before.

He met Jack when they were both five, had called him Cowboy immediately, and both of them had remembered another time when they were both five and Jack had introduced himself as Cowboy. After that, the memories kind of grew as he aged, or sometimes if a major event happened, and he found himself with a group of friends who knew him better than he knew himself and a nickname that his parents hated. Not that it really mattered what his parents thought because they were both killed in a car crash when he was eight.

Jack took him to Kloppman’s, Kloppman took him in, the state approved it and Racetrack found himself with friends that were more like family. An easy move from orphaned to in a home, much easier than some of the other boys’, even if he did sometimes find himself waking up, the memory of the crunch of the car and the screams of his mother at the front of his mind.

*

Race and Spot met when they were eleven, two weeks after Spot had moved into Denton’s alongside Hotshot, Smalls, and Tommy Boy, and that was the catalyst for Spot’s repressed memories to make their way back into the forefront of his mind.

“I’m Racetrack.” The curly-haired blond boy who was missing three teeth had said, sticking his hand out for Spot to shake, “But you can call me Race or Racer because everyone does.”

“I’m Racetrack,” The other newsie had said, “But folks mostly call me Race or Racer, on account of I sell at the races.”

“I’m Spot.” He said, shaking the hand carefully, and wondering why it had felt like something was missing.

“Thanks for letting me stay then, your majesty,” Racer had said, grinning, and he spat into his hand and held it out to seal their business deal.

They had been inseparable for the rest of the day, since Spot had decided to stick by Race until he worked out why he could remember another version of Race, and Spot remembered that Denton had seen the two of them together and smiled like something made perfect sense.

“It’s time to go home, Spot,”

“Sure,” Denton laughed, “you ask the governor to give you a ride home in his carriage.”

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, Race.”

“And the rest of us!” Jack yelled, “We’ll see you too,”

“You know, Spot, sometimes I feel you only come over here to see Racer.”

“I do, Cowboy, shut up.”

“Bye!”

They had left then, and Spot had turned around to glance at the entrance as Smalls and Tommy Boy ran ahead, fighting with sticks, and he was struck by the idea that it said the wrong thing.

“You’ll sort it out,” Denton told him, quietly, “It’s confusing at first, but you’ll sort it out.”

*

Two years later, Denton had proven to be correct, while sometimes one person would say something that remined him of one specific memory, he no longer felt utterly confused by them, and after Katherine joined, he had someone who actually wanted to talk about why they had those memories rather than just accepting them like everyone else did.

“I don’t know,” she said, taking a sip of her overpriced coffee, “I mean when I first met Jack, I looked at him and remembered the penthouse, and the ‘Hattan newsies in detail, and I remembered more about them the more of them I met- and same for you.”

“When I met Racer for the first time, I remembered meeting him for the first time last time.”

She nodded and pushed her hair back from her face- it was shorter this time round, shoulder length rather than long, but she still kept it pinned back at the front in the 1890s style. Spot had asked her why once and she had admitted that some old habits remained.

“It’s odd, though, I mean why only us, and everyone connected to us? Do other people remember past lives?”

“What are you gonna do, ask them?”

She laughed and shook her head, “Somehow I don’t think that would go down great.”

Talking with Katherine was nice; they hadn’t had any real friendship in the early 20th Century, so he was able to talk to her without the strong memories that he had connected to the others intervening, and she was logical when discussing the idea of reincarnation rather than jokey like the others.

“Mouth would know what to do,” he said, staring down at his now-cold hot chocolate.

Katherine nodded, mournfully, “Sometimes I find myself looking round for Sarah, but she’s not there.”

“I’m glad Racer is here.”

*

Remembering a past romantic relationship that they had had with each other hadn’t happened immediately, rather it had slowly slipped in alongside all other memories while Spot found himself more comfortable with physical contact with Racer until Race just sat in his lap sometimes without asking, and then he had kissed Race goodbye without thinking about it, and the memories had flooded in on his walk home.

Sheepshead. The stables. A little alcove where they ate lunch.

The docks. The water where they would both strip down. Kissing under the dock after dark.

The lodging house. Spot’s private room. Holding him to his chest until they fell asleep. Waking up with him still there.

They never really addressed it, Race had just come up to him the next day, asked if he remembered and kissed him again when Spot said he did. It was natural. It was good. It was a little weird to be so public about it, and more than once he found himself stepping back whenever someone came into the room, but Race did the same. They grew more comfortable.

They didn’t go to Sheepshead anymore, nor did they go to the docks, but they had Kloppman’s like they had had the Manhattan lodging house, and they had Denton’s like they had had Spot’s private room.

“I love you.” Race told him, eyes fixed on the TV screen, “I did last time as well, but I couldn’t say it.”

“I love you too.”

Whispering it into Race’s hair after he had fallen asleep, wishing that things could be different.

Saying it aloud whenever he wanted to because things were different.

[pandemilkbread]

12.192 meters (prologue)

Todoroki Shouto x Reader

prologue. chapter 1. 

Summary: It only took two seconds for your world to start over. You plunged towards the dark, fingers crossed, and hoped for the best. 

At that moment, you had two problems and they both had to do with the dead man in their kitchen. He, on the other hand, found himself breathing— and was honestly very surprised by that fact.

Unbeknownst to you, the pretty-looking stranger with the heterochromatic eyes would make the four storey plunge into the Earth worthwhile.

[simply, a reincarnation fic where you the reader learn to live within the silhouette of someone else, in the world of someone else, and loving another in the place of someone else.]

Trigger warnings: mentions of suicide. 

                                                  ☆     ☆     ☆

7:45 A.M.

You were having one of those days where you sort of wished you didn’t wake up. 

Sad as it might be, it was a normal occurrence for you to wake up exhausted. Who wouldn’t feel tired cramming one week’s worth of homework into one night. You only have yourself to blame for delaying your work, time after time, on the basis of “I can finish it tomorrow.”

A blaring alarm roused you from your thoughts, and you turned right to pick up your phone— immediately switching off the annoying sound. Your eyes hovered over the time. 

7:47 A.M. 

Of course, you were late. Regular time usually started at 7:30 in the morning, or around 7:40 if you took account for your homeroom teacher’s tardy record.

You sighed. It was time to get ready for the intense nagging session. 

10:21 A.M.

It was quite ironic getting scolded by a teacher who was known to be unpunctual. Even more so, when you were berated for passing work late. 

When you arrived at your high school it was a bit past nine. You headed towards your homeroom and came face to face with the terror English teacher herself. With an irritated smile, she ushered you towards the staff room and began the so-called conference. 

After listening to her scolding, you left with haste. Your nose scrunched up hearing her voice remain in your thoughts “What am I going to do with you?” 

You didn't know what you were doing either. 

3:51 P.M. 

To say you were tired, was an extreme understatement. You were drained— more likely from the sixth cup of coffee you drank rather than the lack of sleep. 

You were unfocused the whole day, drifting off from each class every minute or so. You heard the quiet screech of chalk on to the board and your eyes roamed back to the topic on hand. 

Ah, yes. Mathematics. You weren’t bad at the subject, but you weren’t good at it either. If you had the will to study the subject more, you could have been great at it. 

You just didn’t have the passion for it at all. 

Your eyes strayed back to the window to your left. A class of older students were outside playing volleyball. You saw one boy slump face down to the ground, after he was smacked head first by the ball. 

A small laugh escaped your lips. It must have hurt seeing the one who threw the ball had a strength increasing quirk, or something along those lines. Other than the pain, it must be fun. 

It must have been fun to have a quirk at all. 

5:30 P.M. 

“You look tired.” 

Your eyes drifted towards the sound. It was Rin, a close friend from childhood who went to the same high school as you. Albeit she was in a different class, she never failed to be there when you needed it. 

“Blame the English essays. She had to make minimum pages ten.” You rolled your eyes in utter annoyance. 

“I told you to start them early!” Rin strolled to the chair that sat in front of you. “You already know how much you procrastinate.” 

“My brain only works when forced to by a deadline.”

“Hah, you’re just overloading yourself.”

You nodded in agreement. Suddenly your eyes focused on a small box placed on the chair nearest to Rin. It was a pink rectangular container that smelled heavenly. Something from the back of your mind clicked and you realized it was—

“Happy birthday,” the black haired girl cheered. “I know you’re probably tired and prefer to sleep the rest of the day. But… at least you could eat some cake for dinner.”

It touched your heart so much to have someone who cared about you to this extent. Seemingly, buying a cake for someone’s special day is considered as a small thing. However to a person who neither had close familial relationships nor a multitude of friends, it meant so much more. 

Hot tears slipped from your eyes and you were engulfed in bittersweet feelings. You thought it was Rin’s quirk radiating out that gave you so much warmth; when she reached out to grapple you into a hug. 

“Thank you.”

It was your birthday, and you completely forgot. But she was there, and she remembered. 

11:49 P.M. 

You were stuffed. The chocolate cake was the best dessert you’ve eaten in a while, and you were so thankful to have someone like Rin. Currently you laid on top of the roof of your apartment building, plainly gazing into the dark sky above.

It was always a routine of yours to stargaze on your birthday. It made you less lonely than you were. You did have Rin, you had other classmates at school, you had friends, you even had the little old lady next to your room. She did bake the best banana cakes… 

All of a sudden, you heard a creak followed by a slam. Another person seemingly joined the exclusive party. By the sound of her voice you could tell it was a girl, you could hardly see anything on the rooftop devoid of light. You inched yourself closer to the stranger in curiosity. 

“I’m done! I can’t take it anymore, everyone’s so unfair! I’m useless! I hate it so much!” 

She was bawling her eyes off. Her sniffles becoming louder as you approached her. 

Ah, she was having one of those days. You could relate. 

“Stupid useless quirk! Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Her sobs echoed, and you could feel your heart rattling. 

You were about to reach her when you heard the words goodbye come from her lips. Wait, goodbye!? This girl!

Your hands grasped her shoulders tightly before she made one more step over the railing. She, in turn, panicked like a wild animal trying to shake your grip. 

“I’m trying to help! Stop struggling!” 

“No! Don’t touch me you don’t understand!” She started to kick your legs in the hopes of leaving your clutches. 

“Yes I do! Let me help you!” 

“No you don’t! Shut up! My quirk can’t save anyone! I’m useless!”

You clicked your tongue in annoyance. “I have no quirk, you shit! Of course I fucking understand!”

The both of you battle for minutes constantly shoving each other back and forth. Unbeknownst to you, your body was situated directly behind the ledge. Sweat dropped from your chin and you could feel the stress piling up. 

“Fine.” You heard the other woman say. She finally stopped shuffling out of your grasp and stood still in your arms. 

With a sigh, you let go of your hold. “Finally you took some fucking sense to—” were the only words you could sputter out before seeing her run back towards the railing. 

This little shit! You rushed to the stranger, barely grabbing on to the back of her uniform, before you tumbled off the rooftop. 

The scrapes of wind that passed your skin were proof that you were falling, and falling fast you were. You couldn’t even cry a scream out, still not over the initial shock. You were falling, falling, falling, and you were going to crash, crash, crash. 

You were having one of those days where you sort of wished you did wake up. 

Alright. That was the prologue it kind of serves as a background to reader chan and her background. As you could tell, reader is quirkless and has no passion for anything — well, for now hehe. 

The actual reincarnation happens in the next chapter :> The prologue is a bit boring, but it’s needed for the events that happen in the next chapter.  

I’ll post it later tonight... thank you!

[wedreamedlove]

Xu Mo - Character Study

Preserving this from Reddit. But the comments are always interesting, so I’m dropping the link here.

This post will include content up to Chapter 18. Plus some calls, dates, and ASMR in the CN server. I always quote from JP and CN (because I have major issues with Elex’s translation).

Also, this is an extremely long post. Last I checked it was about 7,500 words so get comfortable if you’re going to read this LOL.

BASICS

First, I don't think I'd be wrong in saying Xu Mo's character is the most polarizing out of the four men and I believe this is due in large part to cultural differences and how the localization handled that. Putting aside my constant harping about subtleties being dropped, I was enlightened by @sharinluna about an aspect I didn't consider, which is Xu Mo's "social class".

Face, social status, rank, and hierarchy are - and still is - very important in Chinese culture. Easy examples people can relate to are respecting elders and the prestige of being a doctor, banker, lawyer, etc. But I can't stress enough the reverence that is given to these "high" social statuses. How this applies to Xu Mo is that he comes from a lineage of literati that would place him as someone in an upper class status, in addition to his own achievements.

Xu Mo was born from a scholarly family. His parents were highly talented and leading researchers.

In the eyes of the public, Xu Mo is a young and remarkable neurologist and a guest professor at Lianyu University. He is serious and persistent towards his scientific research, which is how he's obtained extraordinary achievements. At 26 years old, he has already obtained achievements that most people wouldn't get in a lifetime. There is no other word better to describe him than "genius".

[CN Profile Translation]

The English definition of literati leads you to intellectuals, but this doesn't carry the weight and history of how literati, or basically scholar-officials, were people appointed by the emperor to carry out day-to-day duties and to help govern the country. I guess the equivalent would be a noble who carries out noblesse oblige. Cultured people with scholarly achievements were very respected in historical China and also acted as role models for the common people.

So, going back to Xu Mo, because we're in modern times and he doesn't have an overtly obvious title (to those not in his field of work) he just comes off as a gentle, unassuming, humble, scholar with an air of sophistication and professionalism from his background. Think of a noble, without any airs.

This is reflected in his polite and modest speech (I will be bringing an updated post on this over to Tumblr to go into more detail about modal particles; the important thing is that Xu Mo NEVER smirks unless he's Ares and even that could just be a cold smile). Not to mention all the descriptions about his elegance and refinement. Heck, he even has a Chinese tea ceremony set in his room, including the tools to make tea [CN "In His World" Event].

Xu Mo's classiness, for a lack of a better word, also emphasizes the purposeful contrast of seeing him do common, mundane things. Like watching cartoons to understand humans better [CN Profile]. It's like how Li Zeyan, with his more understandable poshness from his riches, would be contrasted with mundane things. But, if we were looking for another analogy, Xu Mo would be old elegance and Li Zeyan would be nouveau elegance.

Anyway, Xu Mo also has another trait given to him that's a classic in female-oriented Chinese media and that's being a "black belly; 腹黑". For those who are more familiar with Japanese, it's basically the same word as "haraguro; 腹黒".

Black bellies are people who act nice and unassuming on the outside, but they're sly and manipulative (and at times cruel) on the inside or in secret to other people.

Essentially, they're two-faced but while English has a negative connotation with this word it's normal and accepted in Asia (likely because of the concept of face). The majority of male leads in Chinese novels are all black bellies. BTW, the origin of the word comes from how you only notice their black belly after you're eaten up by them LOL.

So, how this works in female-oriented media is... well, there's many combinations. For example, they can be nice to everyone, including the heroine, but secretly vicious against those who hurt the heroine. Or they're nice in public, but show their sly cunning to the heroine. Mix it however you want! They also like to tease the heroine in all sorts of ways, like leading them into verbal traps to see them flustered.

There's some crossover with black bellies being abusive, cruel, or yandere towards their heroine, but it's not necessary for black bellies to be like that. Just think of these as being Venn diagram circles with overlap [example of a sweet black belly is Xiao Nai from the Chinese drama LoveO2O, also a novel].

Returning to the main topic, you can easily see how this applies to Xu Mo. He's nice and elegant... except for when he's not. It's how he can have this gentle and refined air, but then turn around and be a massive flirt and tease with the heroine (flashing his black belly). Then he goes and turns completely black when he's Ares LOL.

Now, after giving background on Xu Mo's character archetype, let's move onto my other sections.

MAN OF JUXTAPOSITIONS

I wanted to call this section "man of contradictions" at first, but then I thought that might mislead people. Basically, this is all about how Xu Mo is a man of dualities.

[Main Story 13-22] The scarred man describes Ares as being the only person who can be trusted in BS, and yet Ares doesn't hesitate to go against Hades and incapacitate him. I'd argue that this places a wrench in BS' operations, so there goes being the most trustworthy person in BS (although, granted, BS sounds like they're a writhing mess of people with their own thoughts and ideas about how it should be run).

Xu Mo is a gentle teacher to MC, patient and taking the time to explain concepts she doesn't understand or provide novel ideas to her; however, he also gives her the worst betrayal and you can almost call this the harshest of lessons.

For all his image of being an intellectual scholar, as I've mentioned in the previous section, Xu Mo is surprisingly "physical". [CN Archery Date] shows that he's ripped and knows a taxing sport like archery, and in [Main Story 16-22] he straight up kills the goons with ice shards (even if it's in a mental arena).

[Main Story 8-23 & 9] bombards you with light and shadow descriptions. Actually, this imagery follows Xu Mo everywhere but it's most prominent in these chapters. He's always standing at the intersection of light and shadow, or light shines down on one of his sides but casts the other in shadow.

[Main Story 9-14] I will be forever salty for Elex dropping the ball here, but Xu Mo's eyes are described to contain a sense of humanness and life. Then, in [Main Story 12-22] he is described to have an expression lacking any emotion and human warmth. Human descriptions contrasted with inhuman descriptions.

Mm, you just have to love delicious juxtapositions and how it emphasizes his duality of being both Xu Mo and Ares. Two sides of the same coin.

Once again, I didn't want to call these contradictions because I don't believe one of these negates the other. It's like how we code switch in different scenarios. You can be a nice person, but vicious when your bottom line is crossed.

These sides of Xu Mo don't overturn the core of his character or his through line: loving the MC, ruthlessly ambitious for the sake of his goals, and naturally gentle (shown in the way he treats animals and people not in the way of his goal).

But, if you do insist on seeing one side of these as lies, then Xu Mo once said:

"Besides, lies have just as much power as the truth. The true nature of things can be indirectly reflected in the world of lies [...] It is because these lies exist, that one can get closer to the truth."

[Main Story 12 Call: Truth and Fiction]

REVERSING "GOOD" IMAGERY

I haven't been quiet at all about how much I love the evocative imagery Xu Mo gets, but an interesting thing I've noticed is how "positive" imagery is twisted into "negative" imagery when it comes to him. It's brilliant.

[Main Story 13-8] MC leaves the building, after interviewing the elevator Evolver man with Xu Mo, and dazzling light shines down on her, yet she can't feel the slightest bit of warmth. This chapter literally sets up Xu Mo's reveal as Ares through positive imagery turned negative. Not to mention warmth disappears into coldness.

In [Midnight Date] there's a rope with thorns tightening around Xu Mo's heart. In [True Love Date] there is a delicate rope tightening around his heart. I will eat my shoe if this isn't a reference to the red string of fate that binds him and MC together. But, as you can see, it's causing him all the suffering in the world.

[Main Story 13-19] Iridescent, the pen, was given to MC and she ends up using it to threaten her own life. Not only is it Xu Mo's symbol of love (more on this later) but pens aren't supposed to be violent weapons. There's the saying that pens are mightier than the sword, because pens write down ideas that are supposed to convince people peacefully. So, a symbol of something non-physical and literary is now a physical weapon of violence and force.

[Main Story 8-23] Xu Mo tucks MC's hands back under the blanket when she's in the hospital, but MC describes a "cold sensation" touching her before she sees that it's his hands. So, Xu Mo has bad circulation or low temperature. Normally, in otome games, the men are supposed to have warm hands (encourages feelings of security, safety, etc.).

[Main Story 9-18] also talks about how Xu Mo's fingertips are freezing, but this is probably more because of the context of the scene.

To be honest, I'm iffy on the last two points about cold hands because it's a common description I see in Chinese novels, where the male lead is described with a cool temperature or cool breath. So, it sort of sounds like it can be a positive descriptor? Of course, there's also male leads who run hot to show how passionate they are LOL.

Or maybe cool descriptions are used to emphasize a character's rationality but when things get hot and heavy they start to burn in temperature and it's supposed to make you go "OOH! HE'S LOSING CONTROL!" or something.

In any case, Xu Mo being of cold temperature is a distinct thing because Gavin is generally described with warm temperatures (because he's a hotblooded military man). The only time I can recall Gavin having a cool description given to him is the tip of his nose in his birthday date, but come on the nose is the extremity of extremities!

Lastly, Xu Mo also needs a special mention for this point:

[Main Story 16-22] The opposite happens here with imagery reversion. Death, normally a frightening concept, is flipped to be a good thing. To escape Xu Mo's dream you need to die. Dying is another way to live.

SYMBOLISM

First, I think it's interesting to note that despite Xu Mo being a "villainous" character and having all this light and shadow imagery (metaphor for his inner conflict), he's ultimately described with light. He has spatial and solidifying light (?) powers that manifest as white light rather than dark shadows.

It's also cute that he shows his two sides with his WHITE lab coat or his BLACK trench coat.

Second, water is pretty much THE imagery to go to for enlightened, virtuous, and refined people. Heck, Lao Tzu in Tao Te Ching, a fundamental text for philosophical and religious Taoism, connects water with 7 virtues:

Dwelling with the right location: water goes to the lowest point, thus a humble person should emulate this. Arrogant people always try to go to the top.

Feeling with great depth: truly virtuous people are like deep pools of water. You can't see everything about them at first, but as you get to know them it's like discovering a treasure and this should encourage you to cultivate depth in yourself too.

Giving with great kindness: rivers flow across the land nourishing everything in its way; once it's done its work it moves on without waiting for praise or recognition. This is the virtue of unconditional kindness.

Speaking with great integrity: water, when calm and undisturbed, reflects its surroundings perfectly and so should people reflect the truth with the same degree of accuracy.

Governing with great administration: water benefits everyone equally, because water doesn't pass judgment on anyone. Give everyone the same level of basic courtesy.

Handling with great capability: water has great versatility and nothing can block its way; it can flow to the left, right, under, over, etc. It's also not limited to just its regular form and can be steam or ice.

Moving with great timing: summer rains never fall in winter, and winter rains never fall in summer. Water demonstrates there is a time for everything and that everything can occur in its own time.

Remember how I said scholar-officials in historical China are basically like role models and nobles who help govern the people under the emperor with noblesse oblige? This is why scholar characters go hand in hand with water imagery, because it's supposed to emphasize their virtuousness.

So, because Xu Mo is a scholar-type character, the same goes for him. He has SO MUCH water imagery going on for him, and it carries the above weight behind it. I've probably missed some, but here's a list of the ones I can recall:

[Main Story 9-11] MC falls asleep on the bus and, as Xu Mo watches her, the emotions in his eyes are like swelling ocean tides at night.

[Main Story 9-14] MC's dream about Xu Mo has her falling into an ocean.

[Main Story 9-22] MC ends up in Xu Mo's memories about the accident that killed his parents and it's raining.

[Main Story 11-6] Xu Mo brings MC Chinese bellflowers and MC feels that they're fragile, as if the petals are thin ice that'll break if she touches them.

[Main Story 13-4] Xu Mo's voice is like the morning fog evaporating in the sunlight.

[Main Story 13-8] During their talk about MC wanting to continue her investigation, calm waves drift in Xu Mo's dark eyes.

[Main Story 13-19] This is tangentially related to Xu Mo because these descriptions apply to the MC, but it happens after the Ares reveal. She feels like she got pushed into an ice cave, she feels like she's drifting in an ocean, and when she thinks about Xu Mo her memories overwhelm her like a flood and she feels like she's going to drown.

[Main Story 16-16] Xu Mo gets to kill Hades' goons with a copied ice ability. The writers didn't have to give the goons an ice ability; they could have had metal powers, or fire powers, but nope it was water-related.

[The Promised Date] Xu Mo's eyes are like ocean tides at night. When he's abroad he experiences heart pains and finds his shirt drenched and stuck to his back, giving him the illusion that he's drowning.

Third, Xu Mo also has a lot of flower language going for him. Technically, the other guys have flowers and plants associated with them too (for example, Gavin with white lilies and gingko leaves), but I think Xu Mo gets more LOL.

[Main Story 9-14] Red spider lilies appear in MC's dream about Xu Mo. These mean sad memories, mutual longing, separation, graceful purity, beauty of death, endless love, a precursor to death, and a call to the netherworld. The sadness and mutual longing is because the flowers and leaves of spider lilies can never touch; meanwhile, their relation to death is because they bloom punctually around the autumn equinox when people sweep graves.

[Main Story 11-6] Xu Mo gives the MC Chinese bellflowers, which bloomed out of season, when she's at the hospital. These mean eternal love, sincerity, yearning, or hopeless love. The reason for this double meaning is because Chinese bellflowers represent happiness, but only some people can seize their happiness while others miss it, are unable to grasp it, or are unable to keep it.

[Blossom Event] Xu Mo gifts a gardenia to MC, which is called Garda. In Chinese, gardenias mean tenacious, eternal love, waiting for you for a lifetime, and our love.

[Blossom Date] Xu Mo and MC go look at peach blossoms together. Not only do they quote a poem all about a bride serving her clan, groom's clan, and her groom (including having abundant fruit if you know what I mean), peach blossoms themselves mean being a captive of love.

[Under the Mistletoe SSR] Mistletoe, duh. Normally, I'd look at Chinese flower language but they're clearly using the common meaning of mistletoe: love and enduring love to those who kiss under it. Plus, if you refuse a kiss beneath it then you'll get bad luck LOL.

[CN Promise You a Lifetime SSR] Xu Mo's wedding card has wisteria in the background. In China, it means intoxicating love, dependence, born for love and dying for love, obsessed with you, the happiest moment, and indulging in love.

[Golden Days SSR] Xu Mo's flower card, but I can't find a consensus on what the flowers are. Some people think its oleander but they only bloom in summer and fall when the card is about being in the springtime. Oleanders mean a curse and to watch out for danger though.

I personally think they're apple blossoms (blooms early spring and summer) and they mean "trap". Apple blossoms are so beautiful people want to eat them, but their body is poisonous. People represented by this flower look loyal and honest on the outside, but they're sharp and have a thorny tongue. Those who get too close risk being stabbed and only smart people will find their viciousness interesting LOL.

Come on, it's totally not a coincidence that all of Xu Mo's flower symbolism is just a neon sign about how in love he is with the MC. Eternal love is repeated like a billion times. The only odd one out is his flower card, but it still suits his character:

Under his elegant and gentle face, there hides an inexplicable dark side which is the most deadliest poison.

[CN Profile Translation]

Lastly, Xu Mo has a fox as his animal representative. Foxes are pretty much universally associated with being tricksters, masters of illusions, and cunning. It's amusing because, in Asian folklore, they also like to transform into beauties and seduce people to consume them. Sometimes, the nine-tailed fox is associated with auspiciousness though!

[Official CN Animal Figures] Xu Mo is a fox, Gavin is a dog, Victor is a cat, and Kiro is a bear.

[CN Dream Flower SSR] Xu Mo's West Moon card shows him as a fox demon and scholar.

[Main Story 9-14] Xu Mo quotes the fox's line from "The Little Prince" and MC imagines seeing a fox bounding through the wheat fields too.

I think people can see why foxes are so fitting for Xu Mo but I also want to add that, despite me going on about how virtuous scholars are, in order for scholars to survive the swamp of politics in court, these scholar-officials needed to be extremely sly and cunning and it's actually a good thing to be a "wily fox".

In fact, in Chinese novels, usually the honest and genuine characters are... not the main characters and they reach a tragic end or, if they are main characters, they have to be protected by other cunning leads because good-natured people cannot survive in a mortal world filled with greedy people and their materialistic desires. Laughs hollowly at how all my honest military men biases die horrible deaths or get ruined because of this blunt personality.

Hey, check it out, with Xu Mo's historical Qixi card, [CN Vermilion Lip SSR], and his West Moon card, there's two explicit references to how he's the scholar character.

STORIES OF YOU AND ME

Now, Xu Mo brings up three major stories throughout the game in various places.

First, there's "The Little Mermaid":

[The Little Mermaid ASMR] I was on the fence as to whether Xu Mo relates himself to the Prince or the Little Mermaid, but now I think he's the Little Mermaid. He's different from humans but longs for them and wants an eternal soul.

[Overseas Date] Here we learn that Xu Mo can't yet understand the Little Mermaid's selfless, brave, and devoted love (sorry, but you're way too insatiable, my dear) however he finds himself understanding her last choice. That he can continue loving someone despite the pain they bring him (the Little Mermaid's pain every time she uses her legs).

It's, uh, pretty somber that the version Xu Mo has in his head is the Andersen one where the Little Mermaid dies. He also ends the story there and doesn't add the part where she turns into a daughter of air and still has a chance to get a soul after 300 years to go to the Kingdom of God.

Second, there's "The Little Prince" and its a damn good reference. So, this book is actually MC's favorite book and it's about a little prince who raises a rose on his planet, B612, and falls in love with the rose. But he catches the rose in a lie and gets hurt and, even though they reconcile, he leaves the planet to go on a journey.

On the Little Prince's journey he meets all sorts of people with obsessions and learns life lessons through them, but the most important one he learns is how to love his rose. He crashes down to earth though and meets the person he tells his story to (thus creating this story), but before the Little Prince can return to his planet he gets bitten by a poisonous snake and that's it. The narrator likes to think the Little Prince made it back to his planet and rose though.

In [Sound of Silence SSR Call: The Little Prince] Xu Mo mentions how The Little Prince is MC's favorite book. He also compares MC directly to being the Little Prince and how she's growing like the Little Prince through her experiences. I have a crack theory that MLQC's story could actually mirror this somewhat, especially about MC learning the meaning of love and how that'll save the world LOL.

In [Sound of Silence SSR Call: Beautiful Moonlight] there's another mention to the Little Prince where Xu Mo asks if she can find B612, the Little Prince's home planet. They both hope the Little Prince made it back home.

In [Main Story 9-14], like I mentioned above, Xu Mo quotes the fox's line and it goes: "The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat".

However, let me explain the context and show the full quote. So, the Little Prince meets a fox in his journey and the fox tells the Little Prince to tame him to "establish ties":

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world..."

[...]

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat."

The Little Prince agrees and tames the fox. But when he has to leave the planet:

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you..."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added: "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

[...]

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

Isn't this conversation good? I remember reading the Little Prince a long time ago and found it super sad, and now that I'm re-visiting this story again thanks to Xu Mo... well, I understand it better but it's still melancholic LOL.

But, anyway, if we replace the Little Prince with MC and the fox with Xu Mo, this conversation is really interesting. See, the fox is indelibly marked by the Little Prince (like Xu Mo by the MC) and they have made this unique connection between them that will hurt both of them when it comes to the end.

However, this pain doesn't mean their experiences wasn't worth it and that it didn't mean anything. Like the fox says, now he has these memories of the Little Prince that makes life worth living. The fox, before he met the Little Prince, found his life boring and monotonous, but now things are given meaning when they didn't have it before.

On a totally random note, in [CN "In His World" Event] people have taken pictures of Xu Mo's shelves and now we can get an idea of his reading material. It ranges from literary classics (Ayn Rand, Oscar Wilde, Vladimir Nabokov, Charlotte Brontë, and lots of Chinese authors), to research papers (Genome-wide Polygenic Burden of Rare Deleterious Variants in Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy), to things like encyclopedias on flowers, etc.

It'd probably take you years to get through his reading materials LOL. The other guys also have books in their rooms, but I don't remember them clearly. I do know that Gavin has sci-fi books though! Totally not biased. But, I'm sorry, I don't really like reading sci-fi...

Third and last, the most referenced story throughout the game is probably the one Xu Mo made, "The Artist and the Butterfly". I feel like most of us know it by now, but I'll do a translation for those who haven't had the pleasure of getting [Drowning in Love SSR] and its two calls [Artist and Butterfly] and [The Only Color] and because Elex's version is riddled with errors.

Once upon a time, in a secluded castle, there lived an artist. The artist's paintings only had two colors: black and white. It wasn't because the artist loved these two colors, but because in his eyes there were only these two colors in the world.

The artist believed the world to be depressing, so all the other colors were meaningless. But, one day, a butterfly flew in front of him and the artist saw with shock that on the butterfly's wings were all sorts of beautiful colors he had never seen before. The fluttering of its wings made the colors even more lively and charming, and so the artist painted it for the entire day, never tiring.

But the sensitive artist was also afraid the butterfly would one day grow tired of being beside him, and so he thought about catching the butterfly and putting it in a glass jar. Like this, the butterfly would never be able to leave him.

Then, we move onto the conversation portion in [The Only Color]:

Xu Mo: What do you think of this story?

MC: Um... you can't laugh at me when I say this.

Xu Mo: I promise I won't.

MC: I feel like the artist is very relatable.

Xu Mo: ... Relatable?

MC: Mhm, although I don't understand his actions, I can see that he's really stifled and sad. Now, can you tell me what happens after?

Xu Mo: Actually, this is what happens after. Or rather, this story doesn't have an end.

MC: Huh?

Xu Mo: Are you disappointed?

MC: So, not every story has an ending...

Xu Mo: The artist continues to try and catch the butterfly, and even I don't know whether he caught it or not. If I see him again, I'll ask him for you.

MC: Turns out this is a real story?

Xu Mo: Yes.

MC: If you're able to meet that artist, you have to tell him this for me. That he actually doesn't love the butterfly, does he?

Xu Mo: Why do you not think the artist loves the butterfly? If you love someone, aren't you supposed to move heaven and earth to bind them to your side?

MC: But this is too selfish.

Xu Mo: Hah, yes, even I find it selfish. But if he doesn't do that, the artist will likely lose the butterfly. And then his life will be like how it was before; the whole world would just be black and white.

MC: If he really loves the butterfly, then he wouldn't want to see them suffer. Maybe I'm too simple, but for me genuine love is simply loving that person, as an individual, and I wouldn't need a relationship with them. I'd just want them to be happy.

Xu Mo: If you were this butterfly, and there was someone who wanted to confine you to their side so they could keep you together with them forever... would you be willing?

MC: No... I don't think I'd be willing.

Xu Mo: Indeed... exactly what I thought you would say...

MC: Xu Mo... I want to ask you...

Xu Mo: Mm?

MC: Is this story about you?

Xu Mo: I couldn't be the artist, and I definitely couldn't be the butterfly. But if I really did encounter the one and only color in my life, then I certainly wouldn't let them go.

MC: Why?

Xu Mo: Why?... I don't know why either... You don't need to dig to the bottom of everything.

MC: Xu Mo, I'm a bit sleepy all of a sudden...

Xu Mo: Sleep then. Don't be afraid, even if you have nightmares, I'll be here for you.

Gods, I'm going to be endlessly salty over Elex's butchering of these calls, but whatever. WHATEVER.

This is LITERALLY the story of Xu Mo and MC's relationship. And, with this, we are shuffled immediately into my next section.

COLORING EACH OTHER

In [New Light Date] Xu Mo asks "Can you teach me love?" and in [Main Story 5-6] he also asks "Then, will you change me? If we get along together."

The answer is a resounding YES. MC has changed him indelibly, like the tamed fox, and there is only one unique her in his world; he's left the same mark on her, making him the only unique Xu Mo in her world.

(Not to mention in his [CN 2nd Anniversary VIP message] to the players Xu Mo literally says "It's as if under your guidance I've learned how to love".)

In [Firefly Date] Xu Mo talks about how the lights of the fireflies are a danger sign to other creatures (because fireflies eat everything during their larvae form). Then in [Rainfall Date] he thinks the exact same words, that the colors he's seeing emerge into his world because of the MC are a DANGER SIGN but he cannot bring himself to care.

It is not metaphorical in [Rainfall Date]. He's colorblind!

The "Mo (墨)" in Xu Mo's name (许墨) was once his mother's favorite word. This word represents pen and ink, a literary family, and the black and white world in his eyes.

His world is black and white and only by your side can he see colors.

[CN Profile Translation]

Then in [Afternoon Date] there is this exchange:

MC: What do I look like in your eyes?

Xu Mo: ... Colored.

MC: Huh?

Xu Mo: In my eyes... you're full of colors.

So, now that we know MC literally brings color into his life, I'm going to bring back his pen, Iridescent, that he gives MC [Main Story 13-10]. It's a symbol of his love because there's a line that comes from a movie called "Flipped". The Chinese name for the movie "Flipped" is the same as the Chinese name of Xu Mo's [Lovestruck SSR].

“Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss... [...] But every once in a while, you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.”

Iridescent is how he sees MC. She literally brought the colors of a rainbow into his black and white world [Rainfall Date].

Now, when we think about his line in "The Artist and the Butterfly" we get... MAJOR ANGST. Because, contrary to his words about not letting the only color in his world go, he lets the MC go again and again and again:

He doesn't catch MC in [Main Story 13].

He saves MC from Hades in [Main Story 16] and then takes advantage of the dream erasing her memories, so she'll have no ties to him or BS (until the next time they meet on the field again, I guess).

Heck, to take this further, in [Memory Palace: The Night Before] Xu Mo traces his previously wounded eye and thinks about how he can barely remember MC's colors and he's going to lose it completely when they meet at the news conference. Then in [Main Story 16-22] MC sees his past all in black and white.

Xu Mo has given up on keeping her colors in his world...

On a side note, I also think he's giving up vividness in his world. In [Rainfall Date] it's implied that the cheerier MC is the brighter her colors are and, I assume, the colors in Xu Mo's world?

There's an intriguing fact in his [CN Profile Translation] too where it says "His sense of taste isn't too sensitive, but it's not completely absent either." What if that fades too when MC isn't around?

Papergames has also mentioned that Xu Mo has glasses he wears to help him see colors (so he can drive safely LOL) but we don't actually see him wear them much except for when he's doing scientific stuff. Perhaps this is a sign about how little he cares about seeing colors in his world if he can't see them naturally (MC-induced colors).

But, hold on, this is a section about how Xu Mo has equally changed MC (it's just, perhaps, more tragic and more obvious with Xu Mo because he only has MC, the sole color in his life, while she has three other guys just lost a friend, mentor, and love interest).

In [Blossom Date] there's an exchange where MC tells Xu Mo that, like how he's told her to take her time growing in front of him [Main Story 9-2], she wants him to take his time going through life. She's echoing his words (and teaching) and, in response, Xu Mo's eyes darken and he thinks about how he's "staining her purity in his colors".

In [CN Archery Date] Xu Mo teaches MC how to handle and shoot a bow and they end up having a mini competition where they both hit bull's eye and get a draw. He's given her one of skills (and a piece of him) again.

Xu Mo continuously gives MC things that he has never given anyone else:

In [Snowy Night Date] he reveals his actual birthday date to MC.

In [Hot Spring Date] Xu Mo reveals that he's never celebrated his birthdays like this, until now with her. Because they probably reminded him of his parents' accident.

In [CN Nightmare's End ASMR] Xu Mo barely remembers his childhood memories (or his real name RIP), and yet he doesn't hesitate to share these memories with MC.

Tangentially related, but I want to throw in here how Xu Mo and MC are described sometimes as having eyes only for each other. I'm sure there's more mentions, but I can only remember these two:

[Main Story 13-8] "Xu Mo didn't respond. He stared at me with a complicated look and I was the only one reflected in his eyes."

[True Love Date] "The girl, with her clear black eyes opened wide, stared at him. The one who was reflected in those eyes was him alone."

My romantic and poetic explanation here is that, because they have pieces of themselves in each other, they're drawn together like magnets!

RUNNING ON PARALLEL TRACKS

In addition to coloring each other with pieces of themselves, MC and Xu Mo are also quite synchronized. He still leaves her confused at times with his intellect, but she can give back pretty good. I will continue to quietly blame Elex for unflattering descriptions of the MC, especially after that call up there, WTF.

For example, [Blossom Date] has Xu Mo quoting a classic poem "Tao Yao" with stanzas 1+2, and MC follows with stanzas 5+6, only for Xu Mo to flirt with stanzas 11+12 (thanks to @love-p for this translation):

1 桃之夭夭 Fresh is the peach tree,

2 灼灼其華 vibrant does it bloom.

[...]

5 桃之夭夭 Fresh is the peach tree,

6 有蕡其実 abundant its fruit.

[...]

11 之子于帰 The betrothed comes home,

12 宜其家人 she serves the clan well.

Then, while Xu Mo doesn't say this unprompted, in [Main Story 13-15] he connects the writing on the wall to 1 Corinthians 13:12. "For now we see through a glass, darkly..."

Then in [Main Story 16-12] MC quotes 1 Corinthians 13:2 at him: "If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing."

However, despite being able to follow up with each other like this, [Firefly Date] shows how Xu Mo and MC have philosophies that differ on a fundamental level, and this ultimately puts them on opposing sides.

Xu Mo believes in mistaken Darwinism, the strong survive and the weak perish, and he also upholds a strict utilitarian view about using people's lives for the greater good of humanity.

The progress of science is often accompanied by many failed experiments, and towards those failed experiments Xu Mo will feel regret. But at the same time he believes that it is a kind of honor to contribute to a better future for humankind.

[CN Profile Translation]

MC believes in helping people out, not just leaving them out to struggle on their own, and she respects and believes in the innate dignity of human life and choice.

We see in [Main Story 16-9] that Xu Mo and MC have another debate about their philosophies and it ends without a victor, again, but also them realizing that both of them wouldn't sacrifice the person they love (consolation prize LOL).

There's also an amazing moment in [Main story 16-12] where MC quotes something Xu Mo told her in [Main Story 13-17]: "Only those who have felt pain and despair can reach the truth of this world. So, even if you feel pain, there's no need to give up on what you want to do. Even if that source of light were to disappear, it would immediately regain its light."

It hurts because, what was a motivational speech for MC, is now used against Xu Mo. It further resolves MC about her principles, but the way she throws his words at him to hurt him like that... yikes. To the both of them, honestly, since Xu Mo wasn't playing nice at all there in assuming her hesitance about answering meant she would sacrifice her loved ones.

Anyway, we see that this understanding and knowing (coloring) of each other lets them hurt each other just as bad. I mentioned in a previous post about the [CN Archery Date] that it's interesting to see their relationship as a metaphorical draw. They take and give to each other, constantly, throughout the story and it shows that they're equals. Running to some place, but not being on the same track. We can only hope they're heading to the same place and that they won't branch off and go further and further away from each other (but he's a love interest, so it should be?? okay??).

On a side note, Xu Mo quotes "Graveyard by the Sea" in [Firefly Date] (I've linked an amazing English translation that comes with an analysis of the original French version).

TL;DR is that the poet realizes timelessness does not exist and that, because his mortality is ever looming, he must go out and accept the challenge of life (carpe diem!) because immortality might not lie beyond the grave. You only get this one chance in life and the future is uncertain, so do everything you can to achieve what you want to do.

This is actually another good reference to Xu Mo's ruthless ambition and why in [Blossom Date] MC wants him to rest and take his time moving forward slowly, much like how he tells her to take her time growing with him.

Uh, I realize I may have taken you guys off guard by suddenly bringing up ruthless ambition again but:

[Blossom Date Translation] Xu Mo reveals how much he worked his ass off when he was younger.

Xu Mo: Yes, I skipped grades.

Xu Mo said that casually, without any pride, as if it were someone else's business. But I was deeply impressed.

MC: You spent all your high school years studying?

Xu Mo: At that time, yes.

MC: Why?

Xu Mo: Silly, there aren't that many why's. It's the same as how you were when you were taking your entrance exams, there were things I needed to do.

[Main Story 13-22] "Ares had a smile cold enough to send chills through someone. The blood that flowed to his mouth made him stand out even more bewitchingly, like a flower. He raised his head and ambition roiled in eyes that were deeper and darker than twilight."

[2nd PV] Xu Mo has a line in Chinese that goes "我贪得无厌　想要你的全部" which I believe English translated as "I am insatiable, I want all of you" which is... um, sure. I mean it works! Perhaps it doesn't fully convey how it's like endless greed, the desire and want for more, never being satisfied, and always hungering. That is what insatiable means, but I don't think the word is used commonly enough for people to click onto all of that.

CONCLUSION

LORD, this is massive. Not including this conclusion, whoever has read down to this point has cleared around 7,500 words, so congratulations.

Anyway, obviously, this post isn't supposed to be all "this is the one and only true interpretation of Xu Mo's character" but I wanted to provide some background from a native (?) context that might have been overlooked, because I don't think scholar archetypes are as common in English and Japanese media (the second culture people are probably most familiar with if they're playing otome games?).

Like how you can point out "ah yes, the tsundere, the yandere, the megane, etc." in Japanese media, the scholar archetype is someone you could spot at a glance from a line up of Chinese characters. If I had to choose a similar type they're probably like megane characters... except their EQ and IQ are both high, so they're not cold, logical robots.

Coming back to a summary of all my points, Xu Mo is a complicated scholar archetype and the game also enjoys spicing this concept up with things that contrast sharply against it (the sexuality from his fox characteristics). He's gentle, refined, and knowledgeable, but also has a black belly that shows when he flirts and verbally traps the MC to fluster her (not to mention all his manipulations behind the scenes).

Every scene he appears in seems to say one thing, but show another, and his references make me want to cry when I end up digging too deep in them. Meanwhile, the silence between the lines of his scenes, words, and actions, scream so loudly with evocative and symbolic imagery.

Feel free to dislike him, but I don't think it can be denied that he's a very intricately written character, and that's what all the fun is about liking him and deciphering his raison d'être.

As an aside, I will acknowledge that I've skipped over other references that I couldn't fit into this post but there were things like the [Roman Holiday] movie he and MC watched in [Main Story 5-6] and the song he sings in [True Love Date], "When I Fall in Love", and its relation to [Sleepless in Seattle], perhaps? But @sharinluna has good posts on these already. I haven't watched any of these, so I won't bother to reveal my ignorance on them LOL.

Lastly, I just want to leave everyone with these two lines from Xu Mo, because it draws such a beautiful circle:

So, in his [2nd PV] he says "我贪得无厌" which I mentioned above was something like "I'm insatiably greedy".

Then, there's a call where he says "谢谢你、成全我的贪心，希望你可以相信，无论是过去，还是未来，能让我倾尽所有想要独占的，只有你一人" which translates to "Thank you, for fulfilling my greed. I hope you can believe that, regardless of whether it's in the past or future, the person who's made me want to exhaust all methods to monopolize them has only ever been you."

Such a beautiful full circle, right? You can imagine him saying this at the end of the game or at a wedding, right? EXCEPT IT CAME FROM A KFC COLLABORATION CALL. YES. KFC. I'm crying and I feel like my soul took a hit. It doesn't count... it doesn't count as canon material does it... I mean, he's not talking about the chicken, because this is in response to a confession you get to write as the player, BUT STILL. LOL.

(I secretly laugh at how English would handle that, since they gave him the "I am insatiable" line. "Thank you for satiating me"? HAHA).

Nah, perhaps the true circle is him asking in [New Light Date] if MC can teach him love and then telling us that we've taught him in love in the [2nd Anniversary VIP Message].

[alias-b]

sins of my youth. 007

Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3

Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.

A/N: New Year and school is back in session after winter break. Billy starts the grovelling process and observes some new things about Evie. TW: PICA-it's worse. Vomiting. Animal death mention. Student/Teacher relationship in the background. School bullies. Taglist open!!! ​​

Chapter 7: One Bad Kiss Constellation

   The first day back to school was uglier than Evie pictured. Fall of snow didn't get them out of classes.

   Her stomach was already in knots, but that could have been the shiny things she’d eaten the night before.

   Felt like a game. What would pass. What would tie her stomach up. These little trinkets she actually dug for, cleaned with bleach, and stacked on that empty shelf. Organized each item. Admired her display of will and control. Mostly keys and buttons. Couple nuts from a toolbox in their garage.

   So far, everything came out. So far. Evie wondered what her insides would look like and tried to slow. Tried despite all the noise.

   Calculus was first. Thankfully, she shared it with Heather who was all smiles. Chattering about her surprise mini trip with her parents. 

   They had it with Tommy and Carol too. All the fucking grins and looks Evie got burned. Tommy peering then shifting to Carol’s ear so she could giggle.

   Evie’s pencil snapped within her fist so Heather glanced aside to see the pieces roll away.

   “Okay, muscles.” She chuckled, passing a freshly sharpened one over.

   “Thanks.”

   “So, what’d you do for New Years?” All the scratching of lead on paper was driving Evie insane. Grating like an out of tune orchestra of vibrating strings.

   “Just some lame party, the usual.” Evie was rubbing the back of her neck. Eyes glued to the page.

   Carol giggled again. Fingernails sunk into the skin of Evie's hairline.

   “Don’t know what her problem is.” Heather remarked to herself.

   Evie shook her head. Lips pressing with no sound. Trying to focus on the problems along the page and not the ones fizzling in her life. Her desk was pressed into the far right wall next to all the campy posters teachers loved to decorate their rooms in.

   About how there's always a silver lining and chase the morning.

   Evie rolled her eyes at the thought. Caught sight of a sleek thumbtack there sticking out. Shiny and chrome. Lungs pulsed and she wondered about the weight on her tongue.

   Strange how her mouth watered for it.

   Two fingers subtly snatched it from the wall when the bell rang.

   Second period was usually what she was excited about. English with Bowers and the sly smiles they beamed at each other across the room. Carol always looked between them. Jealous she wasn’t the hot teacher’s pet. She noticed a great deal there.

   Evie shared the class with Steve also. And Billy who sat in the next row over just behind her. He stared at Evie, trying to read every twitch and shift of her body. A note hit her desk from Steve.

   Brown eyes peered up as if to ask who it was being passed to, but he cocked his chin at her.

   Fredrick sat quietly at his desk as they worked separately today. He didn’t see her unfold it.

   What’s up with Hargrove? Looks like he’s trying to vaporize you with his laser eyes.

   Evie hitched to stop herself from laughing at a picture with a stick figure and a mullet. Lasers blasting out of the eyes. She added some comically large muscles. Cleared her throat and wrote back.

   He’s a creep.

   Steve quirked a darling smile at her.

   Billy saw a flash of stark, bloody red. Harrington made her grin without force.

   “Okay, class, let’s see who read the material. Pass your papers up.” Fredrick stood to collect. “I’ll be reading these tonight and- Ah, Mr. Hargrove. Thank you for the scribbling of your Camaro. I hope the essay question is as detailed.”

   “Been thinking about upgrading my girl, sir. Say, what do you drive?” Billy tapped his pencil, lazy as can be. “Cool guy, I bet.”

   “Just a Plymouth. We muscle cars have to stick together.” Fredrick was pulling stacks of papers from the front. Billy didn’t drop it.

   “That orange one? Yeah. I’ve seen it around.” Blue eyes drew to Evie at that. She felt a chill and peered back with a stony expression. “Bet the girlies all line up.”

   A few classmates chuckled for their glorious king.

   “It gets me from point A to B. That’s all I ask for.” Bowers only laughed.

   "I'm sure it does." Billy mused coolly, fingers twisting his ring which caught the light.

   The bell blared.

   “Alright, class. We’re starting a new unit tomorrow. I hope you all have your Shakespeare hats ready.”

   A collective groan sounded.

   Evie rushed out to Yearbook with Jonathan, Nancy, and Heather. Only class she had where Seniors and Juniors mixed. Besides lunch if that counted. Got lost in dark rooms so the world couldn’t see her hands shaking.

   "Here." Jonathan caught her trying to clip some photos up, fumbling with a stack.

   "Thanks," Evie sighed, "too many pages for our losing sports teams, right?"

   He chuckled at that.

   "My thoughts exactly."

   Jonathan went to help Nancy order some drafted pages when Heather crossed over. Eyes on Evie working.

   "Something the matter?"

   "Bourbon's not doing well. I expected it, but...he's just been with me through all of it. You know?" A frown etched. She didn't want to cry. Heather paused to hug Evie from behind.

   "He's our little prince still. I'm sorry."

   Her friend shifted out, pressed a smile and went back to work in silence. Groaned because Billy was in half these basketball photos. Alight and intense.

   “Hey, I’m going to the library for lunch.” Evie spoke after that bell rang. “I’ll scarf my sandwich on the way.” 

   Heather observed her again. Watched how Evie avoided her eyes.

   “Was...something else going on? I feel like I-”

   “No, just missing the break.” Evie flashed her teeth to make it convincing. 

   She did manage to get half the sandwich down and tossed the rest out. Patted cold water on her cheeks once she was alone in the bathroom as everyone went to lunch. The hallway got quieter and Evie looked at her flushed face. Shuddered and reached for the pin in her pocket.  Small. Deft. Dainty.

   Stark point. Catching the light. 

   She washed it with soap. Opened her mouth to stick her tongue out. Cradled it there. Chrome and out of place against pink flesh. Lips closed. The point pressed down into her tongue. Evie winced. Tried to swallow and choked it back into her hand. Saliva dripping.

   A spot of red welled. Loud and obscene and horrible. Tasting metal. Shame. Tears pooled.

   So she pushed it back in like she’d done with the key to drown the noise out. Evie Fenny wasn’t a fucking quitter.

   Swallow. Swallow. Swallow.

   It scratched going down. Working around clenching muscles. Pangs fluttered. Fingers grasped the sink to bite a groan back.

   Evie thought she heard the little plink of it hitting her stomach. Gasped to breathe. There wasn’t shame anymore, only pride. She powered through it. Had utter control.

   Eyes locked with the mirror. Calm. Collected. Not in this body. Rust turned to sweet strawberries and rose petals.

   Imagine stabbing something several times until it was beautiful.

   Exhale.

** ** ** 

   Carol and her gaggle still kept the laughter up in the cafeteria. She sat upon the table with Tommy next to her. Animated stories kept them hanging upon dripping syllables. Heather couldn’t stand it anymore. Pushed up to cross right over.

   “What’s your problem today?” She cocked her hip.

   “Oooh.” Carol clicked her glittery nails on the table. “So touchy, sweet pea.”

   “What’s your problem with Evie, she didn’t do anything to you?”

   “Other than her being a tart for Bowers. Nothing to me. In fact, she provides us with hours of entertainment. Had a hot date with the Keg King.” Carol nodded toward Billy across the way, sitting alone and clicking his lighter. Annoyed, he got up and went to sneak his usual lunch smoke.

   “What? What are you talking about?”

   “Uh, isn’t Fenny your BFF?” Tina chimed in. “Shouldn’t you know?”

   “Aw, that’s so cute, she didn’t tell you.” Tommy added with his crooked smile. “Must be so embarrassed. Poor girl.”

   “You have five seconds-”

   “I’m gonna tell you.” Carol decided. Finger curling to bring Heather in. “Only because it’s just too good.”

** **  **

   Billy got one puff in before Princess Heather Holloway was smacking the cigarette from his fingers. Snarling and bright red to match the cute bow in her hair.

   “Hey!” 

   “Hey yourself, what the fuck?” She pushed Billy clear into the brick wall. Chilled him more than the breeze. A new flutter of snow began to fall with no peace in sight. Her face was flushed cherry with anger. “I know about your little Skirt Safari bullshit! You tricked Evie! You hurt my friend...you’re an asshole.”

   Billy just sagged at her. Reached to pluck up his cigarette and got it slapped again. Heather crushed it with her expensive shoe for good measure.

   “You had no right to do something so disgusting! Carol and Tommy filled me in.”

   His brow lifted.

   “...Evie didn’t tell you?”

   “The last thing Evie wants is for people to see her in pain, so I know you hurt her bad.” Her arms crossed. “Well?” A cold breath puffed.

   “It wasn’t supposed to-”

   “You mean, she wasn’t supposed to find out about the bet. You’re so selfish. You’re a selfish little prick. Stay the hell away from my friend.”

   She turned and a hand snatched her wrist.

   “Heath-”

   “What?” She shrugged with some extra ire. Eyes flickering like flames. “I think you’ve done enough.”

   Billy let her go, looked elsewhere. No syllables to make her stop fuming. Heather huffed at him and marched back inside to find Evie at her locker. Shoulders dropped.

   “Hey…” Heather’s slow approach still gave Evie a fright. Huge doe eyes looking far too somber.

   A sigh.

   “Who told you?”

   “Carol and those jerks.” Heather pressed her lips. “Just scared Hargrove shitless, I think. I’m sorry, I wish you told me. You said you'd tell me things.”

   “This thing... It doesn’t matter. He tricked me, whatever.” Evie’s arms went out then dropped. She faced her locker. Toyed with the handle and pressed her book closer. “It was all stupid. For a moment, I thought he… I thought a boy might-”

   “He’s a little prick.” Heather turned her friend around.

   “We had fun. We danced. I kissed him first. Did Carol tell you that part?” Evie sucked in some air.

   "Oh?"

   “Yeah, I kissed him and I was going to screw him too. I was gonna go to a motel with Billy Hargrove for New Years and, you know, I...I wanted to. I really wanted him... But, it doesn’t matter. They can talk about it all they like.” She moved to go, slamming her locker shut. “I don’t care. It won’t bother me. It's stupid. All of it.”

   “Evie, don’t shut down, please.”

   “I’m fine.” Sneakers skidded when Heather stepped in front of her. "Boys like Billy Hargrove don't go for girls like me. He doesn't want me. That's not news."

   Evie remembered all the hot bodies jumping around. The crowds and fireworks blasting along with a musical beat. Moments where she'd felt incandescently delighted next to Billy and the lingering of their starry eyes. Like they'd been meant to find each other all this time.

   "Getting mad about this is the same as being upset about the pattern of stars. It's pointless." Evie swallowed a thicker lump down.

   No, that's what ached. Billy made her believe they could be rewritten. Made her want to defy the stars.

   “Let’s hang out this weekend. A no boys party for both of us.” Heather smiled, taking Evie's hand. “He’s not even a boy, Eve, he’s a little prick. Let’s just have some fun. Friday? Sleepover. You pick the first movie.”

   “I’m fine, Heath,” the words sounded funny now, “but okay. Sleepover.”

   “Good.” A brighter smile crossed so Evie matched it. She let Heather hug her and managed to make it through classes all the way to her free period avoiding Billy’s eyes on her skull. Sneaking out was an art form she’d perfected. Quick steps to her locker and toward the door. Stopping only to see into the theater when stage lights turned rose red.

   Evie peeked in. Beamed.

   “Mr. B.” She shuffled inside after checking the hallway. "Fredrick."

   “I’m alone, Evie, come sit with me.” He patted the table next to the lightboard he was working on. The glow changed to a softer pink. Made it all less menacing. Bathed in blush, she crossed the illumination and scooted up onto the cool surface. Skirt shifting over black tights. “Bad day?”

   “Bad start to the year.”

   "Classmates? I can always fail them for you." He'd joked.

   She smiled, head shaking so he continued.

   “They’re intimidated by you, Evie, because you’re too ahead and mature for them. Soon, you'll be out in the world and they'll be left stumbling.” He peeked up behind a pair of glasses. This was old times. Encouragement. Nurturing. “Much like the director of the winter show who asked me to fix this damn thing last minute.”

   She giggled then, touching her lips. 

   “You look pretty in this light. You should wear pink more often, instead of red.” He remarked and she crossed her ankles. Hands gripping the edge.

   “Red makes me look and feel older.” Evie asserted herself.

   “What about that wet gloss you used to wear in class?” His finger brushed her knee before he was picking up a screwdriver. 

   “Thought you didn’t like to kiss me with gloss on, you said it was too sticky.”

   “I appreciate it more now that I’ve lost it. Just like you, Evie. You were there for me. It's something special to have a person. Don't you think?” He winked. Fredrick Bowers made her laugh and smile. Listened to her and gave back. Most days.

   All she longed for was to impress him. Please him. Be enough for someone.

   "It's not fair that I cannot kiss you here." He uttered. "Now. I'd like to."

   "Just kiss me?" Evie flicked some curls, drew her fingers across her collar so he fixated there.

   Played this version of herself that came out around him. This woman in red with cool words. Always game. She bit her lip and he paused to see her again. A smile crossed before they were interrupted.

   Evie looked up as the door opened and Carol stood there. A glare already on her pouty face. Fredrick scooted a good few inches from Evie. Quickly.

   “Sorry, I just had some questions about the reading. Mr. B.” Carol flashed a smile.

   "Of course, Carol. My door is always open. Evie, thank you for the inquires. I'll be getting back with you. Soon."

   Evie perked and got up. 

   “I'll hold you to that... We just finished. Thanks, Mr. B. For all the help.” She seemed all too chipper at Carol going green with envy. The redhead knocked into her shoulder passing, but Evie gripped her bag and went out. Frowned at the snow piling because she’d ridden her bike in. 

   Still, Evie was stubborn, so she got on and pedaled down the street. Sleet making it more difficult when a fucking Camaro revved down the way behind her. Billy honked once and got ignored. Pulled up in front of her and skidded over which sent Evie into a pile of frosty, dead leaves. Tumbling.

   “Hell.” She just laid there until Billy Hargrove was in the line of sight. Craning to see her and utterly stunning against the opal skies. “What’s it going to take for you to leave me alone, huh? Three hundred bucks?” She untwisted from her bike and Billy yanked her up, brushing snow aside until he got smacked off with two heated expressions penetrating.

   “You’re screwing Bowers, aren’t you?” He’d hissed it.

   Oof.

   “You’re delusional.” Evie charged past him. Legs aching as she pushed her bike.

   “Max saw you in his car. He’s always looking at you. Is that where you go when you sneak out your window three times a week?”

   “No!” Evie swiveled. Breath ghosting.

   “But, you’re still fucking him.” Billy slid in front, hands on the bike handles to stop her again. There was a struggle. Her cheeks puffing as she feebly tried to push him back. Teeth clenched.

   “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Will you just move?” Her entire face scrunched together. All daggers. Slowing, Evie spelled it out for him. Drew closer. “And no one will ever believe you.”

   “You think I’m trying to make your life worse, Angel? I just want you to admit it.”

   "Admit, what? You have major issues? Fine! Easy! Now move!" She barely got a few inches forward with his muscles buldging. Two immovable objects.

   "Open those pretty lips and say it. You're fucking our teacher. I wanna hear it from that mouth." Billy paused, chest shuddering. "You went to him after what I did. I should have stayed with you."

   “I don’t owe you any of this. You're obsessed!” She shoved into him. No budging, the boy was made of steel.

   “He’s a fucking pedophile. We had those in California too, chica. Maybe they don’t like the term round these parts. You think he's making you feel good, but he's setting you on fire to warm himself. That fuse is creeping, babe.” Billy pushed back until she was sliding toward his car. Slush wetting their shoes.

   "You're unbelievable!" 

   “I’m not looking to tell anyone, got that?" Billy caught her gaze in the teetering. Held it. "I’m just saying you don’t have to do it. Anyone ever tell you that you don't have to do something, Evangeline?"

   Evie stopped pushing to stare with bigger eyes as he continued. Expression crestfallen because something resonated.

   "Being a good girl has a cost, you do everything people tell you to do until your organs start spilling.”

   “I'm not the only one with a front. Fuck you!”

   A beat.

   “You almost did that night.” Billy cocked his head. "I would have made you moan so pretty. I wanted to." Evie’s mouth dropped before she shoved him into the snow. Bike falling away. He looked thrilled. About to pitch a fucking denim tent. “There you are. I would have fucked you so hard and so good, babe. Bet you even taste like heaven and stardust. Yeah? Fucking hit me.”

   “Hit you?” Evie stilled over him. “You’re just trying to make yourself feel better. Fuck off, Billy.” She yanked at her bike again. He puffed there, chest sinking before he shot back up. Newfound vigor.

   Growled.

   “I’m sorry.”

   Even the snow stilled with him. She swerved and saw him crack.

   “Evie, I’m fucking sorry, okay? I’m shit at this and I‘m sorry. I’m sorry I took you to that stupid dance and screwed you over. I'm sorry you got hurt. I am sorry, got it!”

   “You’re sorry that you got caught.” She pointed.

   “I’m not leaving you alone.”

   “Listen, Billy,” Evie spun and dropped her bike, “I don’t need anything from you. Nothing. Okay? Just let it go, I really don’t know why you can’t. Be sorry somewhere else. The stars are where they are. Life goes on.”

   “Fuck the stars! They're too far away to stop us. I kissed you after midnight. I gave the fucking money away. I wanted out of it and I fucked up. I did. I'd change that, but I wouldn't change the night with you. Hear me? I didn't lie about that much." He strained to catch those brown eyes.

   She opened her mouth and closed it quicker. Almost softened.

   "I didn't fake that and I was shitty to take you to that place. That fucker Tannen used me to get back at you and I’m fucking sorry about it.” Billy seemed to rage the thoughts out. “You liked it too. The kiss. Don’t pretend you didn’t.”

   "If you call that a kiss." Sarcasm seeped out.

   "Yeah, I recall us sharing a couple." Billy laughed. Dry and disbelieving. "I was drunk, but I remember every damn second of how you felt."

   “You’re not fooling me again.” Evie crushed in on herself, pressed onward. Skidding to go away from Billy Hargrove. What the hell could he possibly want out of this?

   “I’ll leave you alone,” Billy sprang forward and grabbed her back wheel, “if you kiss me again and tell me it’s nothing. Just one more. Redo it. Yeah? To hell with the stars, we'll change them.”

   She looked in awe at him. Shoulders dropped.

   "It wasn't even that good of a kiss."

   "Then, what do you have to lose over another bad one?" Billy's head tilted up. Wild as can be. Evie matched it. Both of their curls moving up against the sweep of cold winds. Hungry looks about them. Billy undid her with a damning utter. "Prove me wrong, Angel."

   He fucking triple dog dared her.

   Evie practically kicked her bike aside, stomped toward him, and grabbed his face to smash their lips together. Billy pounced back with a barely there sound. Shoved Evie into the side of his car.

   Another vehicle honked and went around them. Probably too shocked to do much else with teenagers unable to control their hormones in the middle of the road.

   Moaning like he was in a porno, Billy made this one count. Hands palmed at her ass, bringing Evie up a few inches. Tongue down her throat near ready to prick himself on the pin she'd swallowed.

   She hitched as he pulled her hair to see lush hooded eyes again. But, briefly.

   "Yeah?" He twisted those curls around, both of them moaned. Challenge dancing. You like that, Angel? Evie's fingers were clutching at his jacket. A nod followed. She let him trail his tongue against her lips and opened her mouth for it again. Tasted spearmint.

   Drunken bodies kept moving and smacking back into his car. Billy even tried to pull her shirt up out of her skirt to touch the flesh underneath. Evie jolted out from him, having not been ravished like that by a boy so unafraid to touch her.

   And she shuddered apart. Kept her eyes closed so Billy did too.

   It was the only way to prolong this. A softer kiss where their noses brushed after. Foreheads pressing together. Ardent and lovely. Total silence was a thrill. Billy nuzzled his nose into her own again, pulling her body into his. Fingers crept barely under her shirt. Caressed the tender skin. Lungs and hearts needy beyond repair.

   Constellations twisting together until a single question dawned. Can I keep you?

   Evie quaked for air and saw him. Lashes long and too beautiful. Freckles. Snow falling like confetti. An ache flooded back. The pin pricks in her tongue jabbed. Arms pushed up at him. Felt the thumping in his chest.

   Holding his jaw steady, lipstick smeared to damn them both.

   “Do you always kiss the same way a thirsty dog laps at water?” She shoved him backwards. A spit trail left their mouths. Red glistened on Billy’s lips and chin. A sleazy grin cracked, tongue wiggling out to taste her still on him. Neither could breathe right.

   “Haven’t had complaints.” He gasped for air. “Are you judging my technique?”

   “Yeah, it sucks.” Evie puffed with more force. “And I felt nothing. Got it? Nothing. Leave me alone now.”

   “You’re a shitty liar.” He watched her swerve.

   “And you’re a shitty person!” She wiped her mouth. Billy stopped dead, dropped everything he was feeling to let that pierce him. “I felt nothing! Leave me alone.”

   “No.” Billy decided as she plucked her bike up.

   “No?"

   "You heard me." A child. "No. Nope. Nada."

   "But, you just said-”

   “I fucking lied and now you know how it’s done.” He went around his car. “Maybe I’m a shitty person, but at least I don’t hate myself enough to lie and screw-”

   “Spare me!” Evie screamed over him. Chilling. She got onto her bike and went down a dirt path so Billy couldn’t follow her. 

   “Fuck.” Billy slammed his car door getting back in. Revved up again, hitting the wheel. “Fuck!”

   He’d made it worse.

** ** **

   Billy made an attempt to leave Evie Fenny alone. Sorta. Didn’t even stare at her in school. Didn’t bring up Bowers. Pretended he didn’t hear her sneaking out to wherever. 

   He even tried screwing other girls. Drinking and partying to forget.

   Another problem came with that.

   He couldn’t keep his shit up. Tried everything. Got into bed with two girls and stayed soft. Pretended he was just too smashed. 

   All he saw was Evie Fenny looking at him with her huge, sad eyes. It made him furious and he tried to hate her. Tried to jerk himself off and only thought of her lipstick smearing his skin. Her amber perfume drowning his senses. Her body flush against his.

   Then, he was coming.

   He felt like shit about all of it and that turned to rage. No hate came, it just burnt.

   Meanwhile, Evie was lining pins and screws up for her collection. She wrote down every little thing she ate and what came out.

   It was supposed to all come out eventually and she'd be there to control it.

   She thought of the amethyst gemstone sparkling inside her and wondered how such a thing could make her feel so happy and alive.

   Even when her stomach began to ache with little pricks through the day. Even when her appetite was often ruined. Even with she tried again at times to stop it for good. The cravings undid her.

   She smiled through the pain just like she was taught. A woman's disposition. 

   I am fine. This is fine.

   Something collided distantly. Two arrows through the same heart. Spitting blood everywhere.

   One night, Evie wasn’t sneaking out.

   Billy still heard her scratching around the side of the house. Couldn’t help peeking to see her dragging a shovel. Holding a painted square under one arm. She set a decorated shoe box aside and started digging a hole just at the back corner of her house. Struggling to break ice and snow. Head bowed so wet curls covered her chilled face.

   He opened his window.

   “Hey.”

   “Go away.” She sniffled. Crying. 

   Billy hadn’t heard or seen her cry. Not even over him and what he did. Not for anything. The sound jarred him, he thought she might have been holding in laughter.

   Blue eyes drew to the box again and he realized it. Bourbon. The strange cat hadn’t been spying on him lately.

   “Please,” she turned her neck to barely peer at him through red rimmed eyes, “just go away.” Evie wiped her nose and let a fresh sprinkling of snow melt on her cheeks. She still looked pretty there, utterly fatigued. Wispy, wet curls framing her splotchy expression. 

   "You took good care of him." Was all he said. Evie turned back. Shoulders lifting.

   Billy did the only thing he could do for once.

   He left Evie alone. 

   Listened to her hum and dig to bury the beloved cat. Billy didn’t see Evie stuff a handful of soil into her pocket and go back inside to her empty house because her mother was always out with friends or working. She went to the phone in her bedroom. Luckily, Evie got her own line two Christmases ago. She dialed.

   “Hello?” Her prince.

   “Can I come over?” Evie sniffled. “Bourbon died.”

   “Who?”

   “My cat.” Dark eyes narrowed before she started to pick at some peeling wallpaper. “You remember?” She talked about the little ball of fuzz all the time.

   “Oh, that’s unfortunate, Evie.” Fredrick sighed for her. “I’m not sure after what happened last weekend. I still think you need time.”

   She spazzed out as the teenagers say.

   “I just...wasn’t comfortable doing that. The ropes freaked me out, I can’t explain it.” She shook her head. "I can try again, can I come over?"

   "So, now I'm just pushing you into it? Don't make me the bad guy, Evie, I won't be that. I'm here for you, but I want to go at your pace. You know that."

   "No, no, you're not pushing," came the protest, "I can do it. I'll try. I just wanna see you. I need to be touched." That sentiment got her welling again.

   “Evie, it’s like you don’t trust me to look after you.” He replied in a clinical sort of way. “I’m risking everything to be with you."

   "I know."

   He said it often.

   "You couldn't stop crying," he sniffled like he might weep over it, "you make me feel so helpless at times. Do you realize that?"

   "I"m sorry..." Evie crushed into the phone as he made it about him. His needs. His inability to keep her happy. That was her fault.

   "Too often, I think your head is just up in the clouds. These nightmares you have and the way you press into the wall when you sleep. Like you don't want me to touch you. And last week, dear, you just...wouldn't stop crying."

   "I promise I won't cry anymore." She's promised her mother that as well in silence. "I swear. I'll stop."

   "This fixation on your little poems. We used to have adult conversations about the future. It's like a part of you is locked away. You don't want me to touch it. What’s the matter with you?”

   “Songs.” Evie replied flatter.

   “What?”

   “They’re songs, not poems.”

   “I just mean, you should be more practical."

   "I don't know what's wrong with me." Evie decided at last. Clutching the phone cord in her shaken fist. Haunted. "I can't stop."

   She didn't know if she wanted to. This cycle that was eating her.

   "I got back into this because I wanted you. I see a future with us. Do you want me just as bad? Think on it. I'll give you the time. When you're ready, I'm here.” Bowers advised. He wanted her to want him so bad. “We’ll talk another day. Next weekend maybe.”

   "Fredrick, please-"

   The line cut.

   She'd been too needy, he like that on his terms. Liked when she crawled and when she needed him so bad. When she gave into everything he desired without a fuss. Fredrick wanted Evie, but he wanted a specific version of Evie. The bouncy girls on television game for anything, who had every answer. Fizzling emotions unsettled him. They were childish. But, he wanted her lips to be glossy and pink. Wanted her to be an adult woman in a spring breaking teen's body.

   You'd think he was still married to his uptight wife and fucking the damn babysitter.

   Evie set the phone down. Stuffed a handful of dirt into her lips. Smothered herself with it. Gritty, it stuck to her teeth like an Oreo cookie. Tiny stones shifted as she tried to swallow too much at once. She got another handful in before her gag reflex choked her. Feet scrambled to puke brown and bile into the toilet. 

   The Lego she ate earlier came up too. Found it helping Claudia and Dustin clear their basement. Shiny and blue. 

   Her stomach curdled. A few tears squeezed before she was scooping that up. Slippery with acidic bile. Pushing it back into her mouth. With her throat raw, it hurt worse the second time but it went down.

   Control. She was in total control. That’s what she told herself. Curled up next to the toilet. Scalp heating while her lips hung slack.

   “Nothing is the matter with me.” Evie told herself because stopping meant that thudding ache in her chest would glow all neon and rose red.

** ** **

   Billy wasn’t going to leave Evie alone. He decided that after a wet dream one morning. These things were not to be taken lightly by teenage boys. 

   I’m sorry. It didn't cut it. Actions, that’s what Susan advised, not that he’d admit prying advice from his chirpy stepmother. Vague as can be, Billy hung out in the kitchen doorway dropping rough hints.

   Maxine was more blunt when Susan asked her later.

   “Oh, yeah, he’s totally crushing on Evie and he messed it all up.” She said between the lazy crunching of salty chips.

   “That’s what I thought.” Susan sighed. An hour of Billy barking and hiding around the doorway told Susan that much. She was young once.

   “But, he did something. She’s mad at him.”

   “Well, Neil works late tomorrow, I asked Billy if he’d take me to Mona’s salon. She wanted me to go out with her friends. A dessert and wine thing she likes to host.”

   “Did you tell Neil?” Max was fixing a wheel on her skateboard and snacking. Poor thing wasn't getting use with all the snow fall. Susan only smiled.

   “Would you like to go get your hair done?”

   “Ick.” Max cringed at the thought of those huge rollers and hairspray. 

   “Max.” Susan replied carefully. “Evie works tomorrow, doesn’t she? Saturday.”

   She got the idea with her eyes lighting up.

   “Oh!” Max blew air out her lips. “Just this once, then.”

   “That’s my girl.” Susan figured if Billy was convinced it was all her idea, the day would go smoother.

** ** **

   Something else Billy Hargrove learned about Mona was her hair changed with the seasons. Locks big and bold but now a strawberry blonde. A head start for spring despite it still being January.

   Evie peered up at reception and noticeably, her face fell.

   Susan figured whatever happened had to be bad. She’d never seen such a reaction from a teenage girl to her drop dead gorgeous stepson. Hell, Billy Hargrove could bat his lashes and have eggs dropping in every uterus within a fifty mile radius.

   Might have been why Neil preferred to lock him in his room like he was the dirty tomcat about to impregnate all the neighborhood strays. Although, Neil had a list of reasons for how he treated Billy. None of them valid.

   Mona went right for Max. Squished her cheeks in smelling of lavender hand cream. 

   “I’m so glad y’all are here! Maxie, I promise I won’t shock you. Just a wash and freshen. Make your hair nice and bouncy. It’ll shine. I always say: the higher the hair, the closer to God.” Mona took Susan’s hand. “C’mon over here. My new girl, Shelby, will get you started too. Little pampering does everyone good.”

   “Hey.” Evie piped up, twirling a pen around. She’d eaten the cap an hour ago. Not much for chewing. Always up to the task of swallowing whole because she was a big girl.

   Big girls sucked it up and swallowed. 

   Billy thought to go back to his car. Swayed on his feet there looking around at all the plants.

   Actions.

   Actions. 

   They speak louder than words. Billy was a screamer.

   “Miss Mona, I was thinking we could… Uh, for me.”

   “You want a wash too, Billy?” She perked, hair bobbing as her little platforms clicked excitedly. “Come, come, sit down. Evie can get you shampooed to start.”

   Evie’s entire body locked. Billy smirked at her, but noticed an opportunity reach her eyes. The pen stabbed back into a cup. Lips spread in a devious way. He saw horns spring out of her big curls.

   Fuck, she looked hot though.

   It drove him wild. Evie with a fire behind her eyes. All plush curves and lingering allure. That amber perfume melted him.

   “I’d be so happy to help.” She gripped Billy’s leather bomber and jerked him into a chair. He had a semi at this point. "Get comfy."

   Hell, the girl was plotting a murder with that smoldering expression. Still, Billy was game because she was giving him attention. His tongue swept pink lips. Peachy skin glowing.

   There was something off about Evie too. This sunken manner like her energy had been sapped. The slightest dark circles under brown eyes. Skirt Safari was barely three weeks ago. He removed his jacket when Mona reached for it to hang it with Max’s and Susan’s.

   Dead boy walking.

   Max snickered from her chair across the way. She and Susan sat with little floral capes, already getting their pampering. Evie moved Billy’s hair and pulled a lilac cape around his neck.

   “Ack!”

   “Oh? Too tight. My bad.” She snapped a button. “Put your head back. Into the sink now.”

   Billy thought to pray for mercy, tilted back into the porcelain. He asked for this. The sink went on. Ice. 

   “Too cold?”

   “Nope.” Teeth chattered. Evie had that devilish look still. Decided to make it warmer. Lifted the nozzle and hit his face.

   And Billy took it. Sputtering.

   “Oh, so sorry…” Her tongue clicked. Didn’t even try to sound sincere.

   “Just a little water. No big deal.”

   Her bottom lip pouted. She sprayed his face again. Billy snickered through the coughing, fists held the chair tight.

   “You’re fucking waterboarding me, Fenny.” He'd spat, blinking rapidly.

   “What?” Evie paused then kept spraying him as he tried to reply.

   “You’re-”

   “I’m, what?” She came off and Billy snorted before the water splashed again.

   “Ngh-ffff- ”

   “Can’t hear you, Billy.” Evie caught Max losing it across the way.

   The boy took all the torment like a champ so she let up. He didn’t even snap when she pulled his hair shampooing it. 

   “I like it rough, Angel.” Billy hissed at her fingers pulling so she sprayed him again. Made him buck like a mad feline. He seemed to almost love it. This was foreplay to him.

   “Creep. Don’t pitch a tent in that cape.” Evie stuffed a towel in his face. Smiled cheerfully. All syrup. “We're done, mommy.”

   “Let’s see what I can do for these curls, Billy.” Mona let Claudia work on Susan while her new hire took over for Maxine. “I hope Evie gave you a good start.”

   She certainly revved his motor, but he wasn't going to tell her mother that.

   “So nice. I feel even more relaxed now.” Billy twitched a stressed smile. Earned himself a few good boy points.

   Evie cracked a grin at him, arms crossing before she went back to reception. Unbelievable.

   Mona had Billy chattering about his car and school and how he'd just turned eighteen in December. Life was coming his way. Evie took to doodling song lyrics in no order and tapped her pen. Mona either talked Billy into hair curlers or just started doing it. Which was another bout of amusement.

   And Billy stared at Evie the entire time. Even when she made it a point to face away. Sat on the stool with her legs crossed, leaning forward to jot her little lyrics down. Susan swept her eyes between them.

   Both relentlessly stubborn.

   “Mona, I’ve been wanting to repay you back for the dinner this month. How about tomorrow? Our place this time.” Came her voice when a hair dryer shut off.

   “We’ll bring the dessert.” Fingers played with Billy’s curls. Reminded him of his mother. Fluffed some life into them. He decided this salon was better than the places he used to go. 

   Music played, songs changing as time continued. Evie decided her luck couldn’t get any worse when Carol’s red hair appeared in her line of sight. Walking with her little friend group without Tommy. Likely headed to the nail place down the block.

   Carol spotted Evie behind glass and whispered something that had her friends howling before they went. 

   “Bitches.” Billy sauntered up behind her. Golden hair sparkling.

   “As if you had nothing to do with that.” Evie smacked her notebook shut. Sat straighter as he shook his locks out. Curls shining with lift. Like the sun just kissed them.

   “How do I look?” One brow rose. Teasing.

   “The same.” Gorgeous. 

   “Lunch?”

   “Already ate.” Evie’s lips pressed when she said that. They spoke out of earshot under the music. Not noticing the glances on them.

   “Guess I’ll still be seeing you for dinner tomorrow.” Billy counted some bills out. Snatched a pen and scribbled a note on a single. Dropped the money on the counter and pushed the one he’d written on into her pocket. She lifted an arm and glared, but let him. “We'll do this again some time. The back and forth. I pull your hair and you pull mine."

   "Unlikely."

   "Hm. Invest in waterproof red lipstick. Don't they have waterproof makeup now? Looks better on you than on me." His voice dropped.

   "Wow. Cocky now, are you?"

   "I just think it'll take us a lot of tries to get to a bad kiss. Don't you, Evie?" He replied pointedly, leaning over to speak in that low baritone. Pure amber honey.

   "I think you're in denial, Billy. Gotta put pride aside." Evie bit her tongue and turned away. Loathed the blush glittering her cheeks.

   "Takes one to know. I’ll wait for Max in the car. Need a smoke. See you around, Angel.” Billy swayed off after grabbing his coat. Out into the cold. 

   Evie put his money in their register and plucked the dollar out.

   “Sorry. -A shithead.”

   Billy had even gone out of his way to draw a little frowny face with a tear. Evie caught him looking at her from his car and rolled her eyes, stuffing the bill away.

   Tried not to smile. Failed.

   “Billy doesn’t do this kind of thing.” Max appeared a bit later. Glowy and red. Vibrant. “Just...so you know.”

   “It shows.” Evie sighed out her nose. Watched Max say bye to her mother since she was staying with Mona before hurrying out into the Camaro. One rev and it skidded off. Snow flurries falling in its wake.

   “She seemed mad,” Max had said in the car, “but, maybe less mad.”

   “It was a big fuck up. She’ll be mad a long time.”

   “And that bothers you.”

   “No.” Billy flicked his cigarette out the window. Watched his sister’s lips press before he scoffed. “Max, I did something evil. You understand? Evie wants fuck all to do with me.”

   And he couldn't throw her from his thoughts.

   “What did you do?” Max leaned in to press the subject. “Just tell me.”

   The gist of it came out by the time they parked at Cherry Lane. 

   Max just blinked at him. Flared. Billy cut the engine and paused, glancing at her.

   “Why do boys do this to girls?” She asked, fists clenched in her lap. Rigid and puffy. “I don’t understand. Are my friends going to be like you when they get older?”

   “No, Max, they’re not. I’m a piece of shit.” His shoulders came up.

   “And you didn’t have to be… Keep groveling, you owe Evie that much.” She slammed the door when she got out. Expected to get barked at and slowed because he made no move. Just flicked his lighter open and closed there. Blue eyes on the steering wheel. 

   Exhaling into the frost, Max came around the car and jerked Billy’s door open. 

   “You suck at this. She doesn’t want you to do this self-deprecating game where you play the asshole victim. She wants a real apology.”

   “I don’t know what the fuck she wants me to say anymore.”

   “Maybe you don’t have to say anything to her.” Max paused. “Those girls and people at school, they’re mean to her. Aren't they? You’re the Keg King. Are you really going to let that happen?”

   “They’re just fucking assholes, ignore them.”

   “Easy for you to say being popular. What happened to Evie during the dance has been happening to her through all of high school. Don’t you see that? If you really cared, you’d do something to stop it.” The door shut on Billy before he could reply. 

   Max went up into the house, left him to stew on that until he followed her inside. Away from the snow and Evie’s penetrating eyes that were beginning to haunt him.

~~~~

Tensions are just shooting all directions with these two dorks. Thank you all so much for reading! Feel free to chat or ask about the taglist!!

TAGGED: @80sbxtch​ @nottherightseason​ @orxhidshavana​   @alagalaska​ @alongcamedolly​ @kellyk-chan​ @billy--hargroves​

[itzagothamcitysiren]

Welcome to the Family

so has everyone seen the new Justice League animated movie yet cause like- 

No spoilers here just in cause but like I enjoyed it but Holy ‘R’ Rated Avengers Endgame Batman it was brutal lol. 

Anyways, thanks again to everyone showing their support with this story :) I do have a special mother’s day special coming out this weekend set in this story. It’ll be set more towards the future were all the robin’s are in the family. I’m really excited to post it. It was the first thing I wrote for this series and I think it’s adorable :) 

But anywho on with chapter four! Things will defiantly start picking up in this one. 

Never Wanted to be Here Now pt. 4

Jason Todd didn’t know how long he could listen to the lies everyday on his car ride home from school and then again at dinner as they were repeated again but for another set of ears. He knew the truth, he wasn’t stupid, and they did have three classes together after all. Sure he skipped a lot but when he did start showing up to his first period English class, he saw the look on her face; Halley looked absolutely miserable.

           It was almost comically, as the girl told Dick over the phone about the nice girl who showed her around on her first day, and how she thought they were becoming friends. Sam had no interested in becoming friends with Halley in the slightest once she realized how awkward and dorky the girl was. But for the new ward of Bruce Wayne’s first week she was forced to be a student shadow because she was constantly in trouble for being on her phone and that was the guidance counselor’s way of trying to get her to want to become a better student. Like that would ever happen, Sam Bennet was just another stuck up twit.

           Jason couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the girl as she continued to lie through her teeth. Why was she pretending she was making all these new friends? Jason never felt the need to lie. Kids his age didn’t tend to like him. He had a couple of kids he’d talk to in passing or in between classes but he wouldn’t consider them friends; he couldn’t see him going home and telling Bruce that they were.

           And it wasn’t like the girl was completely friendless. She had started talking to this one kid in their journalism class, a class Jason hated that he got slammed into by the way.  Due to his low attendance and lack thereof grades, he was unable to pick the elective of his choosing and was thrown into the class. Halley was thrown in as well since it was the only class with a spot open for whatever reason the school’s paper and journalism classes weren’t popular. I have no idea why, he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

           But all jokes aside, Jason couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t know why he cared so much about it. He had problems of his own that were on his mind. Maybe it was a good distraction? You know, worrying about someone else’s problems and temporarily forgetting about your own? His face scrunched up, thinking about how Bruce benched him for a week; he was grounded. He felt his chest burn up in anger thinking about the fight they had a couple of nights ago. The school finally caught on about him skipping class and called Bruce, who was less than enthused. Dick never skipped, he said to Jason. When was Bruce going to learn that he was like his perfect boy wonder?

           Slamming his tray down onto the lunch table, he took a seat roughly, letting his backpack fall to the ground next to the chair. His face was blank as he came face to face with the girl who’d been on his mind all morning. Wide eyed and confused as to why she was suddenly joined by someone, especially him, Halley stopped mid chew to stare at him.

           “You’re a shit liar, you know?” Jason said before digging into his lunch. He didn’t care that he came off as aggressive, this girl was pissing him off.

           “Excuse me?” Halley gaped, muffled due to her mouth being full.

           Dork, he thought to himself. Smirking at her he continued, “You going to tell Bruce again that you had lunch with Bennet again?”

           Halley frowned, sighing as she placed her slice of pizza down. She’d grown to love the bread covered with cheese over the years, having never really eaten it before. It wasn’t part of the healthy diet Slade made her follow. She just gave him a look of annoyance, not bothering to answer him. She was already depressed and wasn’t in the mood for him. They had shared merely a moment of decency on her first day but that had already been two weeks ago and since then he’d been nothing but a brat to her.

           “I’ve also noticed how you’ve been skipping free period.” He added, taking another bite of food. Free periods were meant to be held in the library so students could study and work on projects. And since Jason now had to sign in and out with each and every teacher for each and every class, he finally had to sit down in the boring-ass library for the full period. He noticed her in the period for the first couple of days of him having to attend but the last few he noticed her nowhere in sight. “Wouldn’t want Bruce to find out; he might send you back to Grayson.”

           “Look if you’re going to be an ass, can you pick a place to be one? I can’t deal with you being one at home and here.” She grunted, rubbing her temples after dropping her pizza slice down onto her plate.

           Before he could say anything else she moved to get up, not trusting herself in not decking him across the face, even here. She didn’t bother picking up her tray, just her backpack and made her way away from the table. She heard shuffling but elected to ignore it as she knew Jason was following her. He called after her multiple times. Having enough and not caring who heard she whipped around, her hair flowing around her.

           “Just leave me the fuck alone, Todd. Seriously, just don’t talk to me.”

           Jason watched her storm off, trying to play it cool as passerby’s watched the scene play out. He pulled on his collar, suddenly feeling hot. Her eyes had been the fiercest eyes he’d ever seen and he felt a lump in his throat. He felt like she would’ve killed him if people weren’t watching him make an ass out of himself.  He couldn’t tell you why he acted the way he did. He just liked to project how he felt on others to make himself feel better. Except, it really didn’t make him feel any better at all. Right now he felt like shit.

           He wasn’t one to apologize, maybe only ever apologizing once or twice his entire life. He didn’t even apologize to Bruce when he tried stealing the wheels of the Batmobile. But unlike Bruce, Halley never really gave him any reason to be an ass to her. He had to at least try to apologize or say he was just joking? Making sure to walk a good distance away and using his Robin skills, he managed to follow her down the hallways undetected and wondering where she was going. He saw her look around, pushing herself closer to the walls as they neared one of the back entrances of the school. She looked around, making sure the coast was clear before darting for the doors. The alarm went off but that didn’t stop her; she took off into the parking lot. He should follow her, right? Groaning, he knew he’d get in trouble for this but maybe Bruce would understand, right?

           In a mad dash, hearing a teacher’s footsteps approaching from up the hall, Jason jetted after her, pushing the doors open. He was outside and in the back lot where the teachers parked their cars. He could see Halley had some distance away from him, jumping up into the air off of a car to get up and over the tall fence. Groaning again, Jason braced himself to follow, vaulting over the fence with a harder force than she had; he managed to set off the car’s alarm.

           Halley knew he was following her from the start and hissed that he actually followed her this far. She just wanted to be alone and knew she had to lose him. She didn’t know where to go where she could lose him. This was Gotham; this was his city. She just raced across the street, sliding over car’s hoods as they desperately tried stopping in order to not hit the random teen. It was easy for her and she found herself across the busy street in a matter of seconds. The path was now clear for Jason, as the cars were stopped, windows down and the drivers yelling at her. The people on the sidewalk stared at her oddly, some in concern but kept walking. But this was Gotham, weird things happened every day.

           Halley took off into a run as Jason kept running towards her before the cars started driving again. Swearing, she took a deep breath, turning to a nearby alley and running in. She ran a few blocks using the alley ways as passage ways until she knew she needed the high ground. Jason wasn’t behind her, finally losing him a couple of turns back. Using all the strength in her legs she hoped on top of a dumpster that sat near a fire escape. Climbing up, she began her ascent up.

           “Nice underwear!” Jason’s smug voice met her ears moments later.

           “Hmm,” She growled, gripping the railing of the steps until her knuckles turned white. She curtly looked down, eyes turning into slits as she quickly pushed her tights together.

           Looking down, she saw Jason now jumping onto the fire escape. How did he catch up to her so quick? She swore she lost him a little while back. Pissed off, she opened her backpack and took out her math textbook, throwing the heavy and thick book down at him. It narrowly missed him, and he cried out in outrage. “That would’ve hurt!”

           She started at the stairs again as he cried out at her, now sounding as if he was begging her to stop. She wouldn’t though. Once she reached the top she jumped onto the roof of the building, looking around for her next move. There was a building close by that was just a little shorter than the one she was on. She could totally make that jump. As she heard another set of footsteps thumb onto the roof; she had to jump now.

           As she sprinted to get momentum, she lost her breath as a force stopped her. It felt like it happened in slow motion as  Jason moved quicker than he ever had, reaching his hand out, grasping the backpack tightly. Jerking his arm backward he forcefully pulled the girl backwards, prevented her from jumping. He crudely slammed her to the ground with a tug of his wrist. He was pissed and out of breath.

           He stared down as the girl tried catching her breath. The impact of her back onto the surface and her book filled backpack knock the wind out of her. Having not zipped it back up, her books and papers and pens looked like they exploded out of her bag from the force of her landing on her back. She was positive she’d have a nice big solid bruise after this. Blinking and trying to breathe in, she looked up at him, dazed at what he just did.

           “Are you out of your mind?” He shouted at her, the sound of the city below in the background. “If you jumped that you would’ve broken your legs or at least sprained them in those shoes.” He shouted again. Sure he could’ve made that jump with his suit on but that was because of all his padding that enforced his body, she was in stupid saddle shoes and a mini skirt.

           “I told you to leave me alone.” Was all she huffed out.

           Jason rolled his eyes at her, running a hand through his now sweaty black hair. “You’re crazy, you know? That was ridiculous, I can’t believe you just had me chase after you like that.”

           “I didn’t ask you to follow me through the streets of Gotham.” Halley retorted, pushing herself up to sit, shrugging her backpack of to try and relieve the pain in her back. “That really fuckin’ hurt, you know.” She mimicked him.

           Jason glared at her lost for words. He was going to be in so much trouble when Bruce found out what happened. Fuck, he’d never let him put the suit on again. His days as Robin were over. He rubbed his face with his hands in frustration. If he went back to school, they’d both get in trouble and if they just stood here they’d still both get in trouble. He should’ve just let her take the heat for running off. Why did he have to go and make this his problem?

           Halley, rubbed her lower back as she watched the boy openly show his inner turmoil. She found it almost laughable, but she knew it was better not to laugh. They were on a roof together in the middle of Gotham, and would surely get in trouble soon after leaving said roof. Closing her eyes for a second, she let out a deep sigh, finally feeling able to breathe. Opening her eyes again though, it felt like the air was sucked out of her again. Her eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets.

           Hovering over Jason’s chest was a little red dot. It was shaky, but Halley knew what it was. It was all too familiar.  Crying out his name, Halley jumped up and pushed Jason down to the ground, just as hard as he had once the red dot settled. Jason swore at her as they landed with him on his back and her on top of him. He glared up at her, for a second before nearly jumped out of his skin. A loud bang rang out and a bullet whizzed past them, imbedding itself into the cement of the roof a few inches away.  

           He was now the one with wide eyes and Halley quickly got up off of him, turning around towards the direction the shot came from. She felt her heart stop when she saw him. He laid there, from a good vantage point, one building away from them. She didn’t even notice the red dot that now rest on her chest as she was frozen in her place.

           Another bullet missed as Jason ripped her away, grasping her hand tightly as he led her in a sprint towards the edge of the roof. He yelled at her to jump but he knew she was in shock and his warming did no good. They fell down towards the building Halley had tried jumping to moments before. Jason dive rolled onto the roof, the shock being absorbed for the most part. He landed into a crouching position, trying to ignore the pain surging into his shoulder and neck now. He looked up and saw Halley wincing as she tried to stand.

           She could feel the tingling feeling begin in her legs the moment she came to a halt and shouldn’t have tried standing but her father would be quick to follow them. He was probably already shooting a zip line towards them. They had to get out of here quick.

           “We need to get out of here.” She said, gritting through her obvious pain.

           “Where’s your phone?”  Jason nodded in agreement, rushing over to help her stand. He looked around, trying to see if he could get a look at Deathstroke. They had to call Bruce.

           “In my backpack.” She winced, as he slung her arm over his shoulder and began to walk them towards the edge of the building, trying to find a fire escape or something. She frowned, she’d taken her bag off and it was currently left on the other building. “Where’s yours?”

           “I had to turn it in to the principal to keep during school hours.” He growled, cursing this entire day. “Fuck, this is bad. Okay, think.” Jason muttered, racking his brain for any clue as to what to do, seeing as there was no fire escape in sight. “How good are you at scaling buildings? Rock climbing? You ever rock climb?”

           Halley eyed him before looking between them. Did he not see her needing his help to stand? She couldn’t help the attitude that escaped her lips but she was a little stressed at the moment, “Oh I don’t know Todd, I’m pretty good.”  

           “Okay jeesh,” He muttered, moving them towards the edge, looking down. It wasn’t a terribly long way down. Only five or so stories. He could easily climb it. Shaking his head, he looked at her, realizing how close their faces were, “Don’t take this the wrong way but how much do you weight?”

           Halley glared at him for the questioned but soon found herself holding onto him tightly, as he carried her on his back, piggyback style as he shimmied them down the side of the building, using a drain pipe and windowsills.  He grunted with each movement. This was a terrible idea but he had no other options. A hundred and thirty five pounds my ass, he hissed to himself as he felt her weight working with gravity and waiting for any slip up to send them down flying into the alleyway below. They wouldn’t die from a fall at this height but they most definitely wouldn’t be getting up anytime soon if they did.

           Halley tried to hold on as tight as she could without choking the boy in the process, but her legs where hurting and couldn’t keep them wrapped around his waist for much longer. She was pretty sure she fractured something down there for it was starting to go numb. Wincing, she held on tighter, only to cringe when she felt Jason’s body shake. The strain of trying to carefully climb down was quickly wearing him out. They still had a little ways to go.

           Eventually Jason was at a distance where he could hop down, only tumbling down a little bit before finding his footing. He didn’t hesitate, running them out into the streets, hoping that Deathstroke wouldn’t risk exposing himself in the open like this. He still had Halley resting on his back, ignoring his shoulder’s screaming at him to drop her. She was useless on her feet anyways. He moved through the street and crowds, trying to find anywhere that had a phone he could use, also ignoring the strange looks people gave the pair. He let his hand shift backwards to hold the brunette’s thighs feeling her legs start to slip.

           Huffing, he decided it’d be better to just call a cab. There were plenty of them on the street and he could just take one back to the manor. Standing close to the street, he released one hand so he could wave one down. After a few minutes Jason got a cab to stop, immediately dropping Halley smoothly to her feet, and ripping the car door open. Just as he was helping her into the backseat he felt someone standing next to him, the shadow of a tall figure overcasting him.

           Looking up, Halley and Jason saw who they were trying to avoid. Slade Wilson stood next to them, hand on the front passenger side door. He wasn’t in his costume, instead in a casual leather jacket and slacks, a duffel bag resting at his side. His eyepatch covered one eye as his one good eye gazed down at them. He opened the door, seeing how Jason started to back away. Slade could sense the taxi driver beginning to get frustrated at how long they were taking to get in, snapping at them to hurry up. Slade chuckled, eyeing his daughter up and down.

           “I would get into the taxi if I were you.” He nodded at them, motioning to his pocket. The clear outline of gun inside. “You wouldn’t want to cause a scene out here like this would you? I don’t think that Bruce Wayne would want that kind of media attention brought on him because of his two kids, yeah?”

           Halley gulped, getting into the car without another hesitation. Slade eyed the boy, the new Robin he’d yet to meet until today, urging the boy with a look to test his patience. Jason glared up at him one last time before getting into the car silently, only slamming the door. Slade joined them, sitting in the front seat.

           “Took you long enough, come on I don’t get paid until the meter starts running,” the taxi driver complained, “Now where are we going?”

           Slade smirked at the driver, pulling out his gun while using the other hand to lock the doors. The cab driver gasped, raising his hands up in surrender, keeping his mouth shut. Halley looked at Jason, seeing his stern face, hoping that he wouldn’t try anything rash. Their eyes met and he saw her silently begging him to not do anything. Growling, he sat back, listening as Slade gave the driver an address, keeping his gun pointed at him as he hastily drove off into the busy streets of Gotham. He definitely shouldn’t have followed her.  

[killiansprincss]

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan Characters: Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Neal Nolan, Henry Mills (Once Upon a Time), Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Prince Charming | David Nolan, Alexandra (Once Upon a Time), Phillip II (Once Upon a Time), Original Female Character(s), Robin | Margot Additional Tags: Neverland (Once Upon a Time), Curses, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Emma Grows Up Happy, Evil Queen curses Emma, season 6 AU, Angst, Magic, Hurt, Canon Divergence Chapters 1|2|3|4|5| okay here is chapter 6 of my Neverland fanfic! I hope you enjoy please leave me a comment on A03 I’d really appreciate it!

I also have a collage for my story below, ignore the badly photoshopped Alex Pettyfer as Neal Nolan! 

Emma woke up on the morning of her 28th birthday and she felt like she had a hangover even though she hadn't been drinking. In fact, it was worse than a hangover because she had woken up with 2 lives inside of her head.

But it wasn’t like in New York, because that life was based on a lie and false memories, she actually had lived 2 lives. One as a daughter, a sister, a friend, and another as. Well, as an orphan.

Henry, and Killian. The two missing mystery men. No wonder she was dreaming of those two the most, as she had no clue where they were. The two most important men in her life and she was clueless as to where to begin looking for them. Hopefully, her parents would have the answers.

Her house. With the white picket fence, with a view of the water.

The two people missing from it were the ones who chose it.

How could this have happened? Things were going so well, the three of them were finally starting to be a family when the Queen ripped that away from them. She searches in her jewellery box that she’s looked through every day, hoping the one thing she wants is in there. Necklaces and bracelets and rings she’s received from her parents and friends over the years. It’s not there she thinks to herself.

But then, at the bottom of the pile, it's there. Liam’s ring, the one Killian gave her back in Camelot all those years ago. She takes the silver ring on the chain and feels a sense of relief as she puts it over her head. She was going to find them, and bring them home.

The drive to her parents’ house, despite it only being less than a 5-minute drive, felt like a lifetime. She kept going over in her head(s) what was happening right now, she was meant to be celebrating her birthday with her parents and younger brother, the way they do every year, but now she was finding it strange that she had a family to do this. She was an orphan who found her family at 28, but she wasn’t really an orphan now. Or was she?

She knocks on the door to her parents house, expecting a huge Happy Birthday banner and for them to sing, but instead her father has the sorrowful look in his eyes when he opens the door. There’s no ‘Happy Birthday’ because he obviously knew what was coming.

“I remember,” is all she says as she just starts to cry.

The old Emma, the orphan would never cry, especially in front of her parents, but the girl who grew up with a family cried over the stupidest things

“Come in, we'll talk all about it.” David says putting his arm around her leading her inside.

Wiping her tears away she asks, “what happened?”

David and Snow look at one another trying to figure out the best way to explain the situation. “The Evil Queen, she said turning you into a toddler was the best way to get to each of us.” They begin to explain, going through all the details of how they eventually captured the Queen using squid Ink and how Regina has sacrificed herself to save everyone.

“Wh-what about Henry and Killian?” Emma asks when they’ve finished.

Snow takes a deep breath before saying, “we don’t know. When it happened they ran off to another realm we think, we haven’t heard from them since it happened.”

Emma looks like she could be sick, or faint, or both.

Seeing her face David quickly adds, “they’re safe though don’t worry. We believe Gold had a hand in wherever they escaped to, we can go ask him.”

“No-“ she cuts them off, “I’ll go. Just me. Henry’s my son and I have no idea where he is, I haven’t been his mother for 25 years.”

“Emma, you didn’t have a choice. He forgives you for putting him up for adoption, of course he’ll forgive you for not being there when you were under a curse.” Snow tells her, caught off guard by her sudden attitude-the Emma she raised would never do something this important alone. She was going to have to get used to the fact that the Emma she didn’t raise was seeping back in, the one who liked to work alone. The Orphan.

“Before you go beat up Gold to find out where Henry is,” David says, giving her a large rectangular box, “I thought you might want this.”

Emma takes the box, and slowly opens it to reveal her red leather jacket. Her armour. She hasn’t needed her armour growing up with a family, but now…

She took off her armour when she realised she wanted a future with Killian. But now, she didn’t know if there was a future with him.

_______

She decides to walk to Golds shop. Feeling slightly betrayed by everyone she needs the fresh air. That is until she bumps into her best friend Alex.

“Happy Birthday Emma!” She screams and hugs as she sees her. “I know it’s only a Tuesday but I was thinking tonight we can go drinking at the Rabbit Hole, like I’m working there until 8 and then I have tomorrow off,” she starts babbling, Emma feels so mean but all she can think about is Henry and getting him back.

“I can’t, I need to find my son. I need to find him I don’t know.” She starts to ramble, she knows Alex won’t understand, but she can’t think straight.

Alex looks perplexed, “I’m confused, you don’t have a son? Emma are you feeling okay?”

“No!” She cries, “nothing in my life is real, none of this. It’s all lies I don’t.”

Alex takes Emma’s hand, “Em. It’s okay. I’m your best friend, I’ve known you for your whole life, whatever you’re going though I’m here.”

“No that’s the problem, you don’t know me. At all. My life, growing up with you, it’s all based on a lie.” As soon as Emma said it, she knew it came out wrong.

Letting go of her hand Alex replies, “okay well if that’s how you feel then forget it. I was only trying to help. So much for being best friends.” And storms away, hurt by what Emma said.

She tried to call after her, but it was no use. And plus even if she tried to explain what was going on she wouldn’t believe it.

___

Standing outside of the Pawn Shop is strange. She had been inside many times before in her past life, but not once in the past 25 years. She stands outside for a moment debating what to say, but in the end she just storms inside. She sees the dark one inside in all his horrific glory, despite not having aged much he still looks awful.

“Where the hell is my son Gold?” She demands.

“Why Miss Nolan, I didn’t realise you had a son?” Emma rolls her eyes, the typical Dark One avoiding the question at hand.

“Don’t play dumb okay. Henry. Your grandson. Where. Is. He?” She demands again.

He finally looks up from his books. “Ah, has it been 25 years already? Well I believe birthday wishes are in order!”

Emma sighs, this isn’t going to be easy. “Look. My parents told me Henry and Killian made some kind of deal with you after what happened to me. They’re in some other realm or something, I want to know where, and how you can get them back.”

“Well I told them where they could go. Doesn’t mean they’re still there. As for getting them back, I’m afraid you’ll have to do that yourself.” He explains.

“Okay then do something to find them.” She practically yells at him.

“Blood magic can be used to find your son, for your one handed pirate lover I'm afraid there’s no way of finding him.” Emma’s heart sinks, but she knows Henry is the most important person to find right now.

He reaches under the counter to grab something, part of Emma wishes she had her gun but at the same time she knew that wouldn’t work on him, and her parents probably got rid of that a long time ago. It’s the same white atlas-like ball he used to locate Henry when he was kidnapped by Pans' minions.

“Before you do anything, if that’s a locator spell we are using my blood. Forgive me if I don’t trust you, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you do anything.” She tells him.

He nods in understanding. Emma gives her hand over and he and he pricks it on the top of the globe, slowly releasing her finger onto the white globe and the blood rushes around forming different shapes until they finally form one shape and glow.

“What does that mean?” She asks.

He smirks, “why it’s Neverland dearie.”

The pit of Emma’s stomach gurgled, and it wasn’t because she hasn’t eaten anything today.

Neverland.

Where Henry was taken the first time. Also the place where she finally admitted to herself that she felt something for Killian, and where he told her after kissing her he saw himself loving someone again.

It was where she accepted the fact she was an orphan, a lost girl.

“So do you have a magic bean or something?” She asks, ignoring her overwhelming thoughts inside her head.

The Dark one just laughs, “you think if I had an endless supply to magic beans I would still live here?”

Emma just glares at him, “so how do I get there? What happened to the wand you had? It created portals before?”

“That wand was lost a long time ago. As for portals, you and your brother are born of the truest love, your powers are of the strongest light magic. You created a portal once when you went back in time, I’m sure after years of training and love you’ll be able to do it again.” He explains. “Meet me back here later with your family and I’ll show you.”

______

______

Neal Nolan was working as an English Teacher in Storybrooke High. He had grown up with his older sister Emma, who was a year older than him. Or so he thought. Neal had no idea of the news he was about to be hit with about his sister.

Neal knocks on the door to his parents’ house with his gift for his sister. He got her a Granny's gift card and a new brown sheriffs jacket (which his girlfriend Thalia helped him pick out) and expects to see Emma in the goofy birthday hat they have both worn on their birthdays since they were 5, but instead, his dad opens the door and he walks in to find Emma looking through the Storybook almost crying.

“Everything okay?” He asks.

Emma looks at him, almost horrified. “We gotta talk.”

He debates whether to say Happy Birthday or not. He decides against it.

“I have no idea how you’re going to take this news,” Emma begins, “One thing is that you are an uncle.”

Nels eyes widen “You’re pregnant?”

“NO!” Emma shouts “Not, no, definitely not.”

Neal is even more confused.

“You are an uncle, but I’m not pregnant. I was, but I'm not now, or well I was a long time ago” Emma starts rambling and making no sense, Neal is even more confused now-When did Emma have a kid?

“Maybe we should back up a little.” Snow says, seeing her son's confused face.

And so the three of them explain how Emma was put through the magic wardrobe to eventually save everyone. How Emma met Neals namesake and thus Henry was born but given up for adoption. Then all about her journey in Storybrooke and breaking the curse, and all the other journeys and curses up until the one where she was turned into a toddler. And how said son and Emma’s boyfriend ran away to Neverland, a place where nobody grows old.

Looking at the photos of Emma holding her baby brother was slightly concerning considering Emma in the photos looked exactly as she did now, yet Neal was a baby. If he hadn’t just been told Emma’s previous life story, he would’ve sworn they were photoshopped.

“Okay, so what happens now?” Neal asks, worried about the answer.

“You and I have to create a portal to Neverland to save my son and True Love,” Emma tells him as though it’s obvious.

“Wait a second, you and I create a portal, like combine our powers?” Neal asks slightly worried about this, they had never combined their powers before and now they were meant to create a portal, everything that could possibly go wrong was likely to happen.

“I realise it’s crazy, but we have no choice. You just gotta trust me.” Emma knows Neal can never say no when she says this, as his older sister Emma always got him to do what she wanted by saying “trust me”. Despite getting into trouble most of the time when they were younger with the whole trusting Emma, even now as a 26 year old man, he couldn't say no to his sister.

Neal just sighs, “Okay. Let's do this.”

Neal had never stepped inside Mr. Gold's Pawn shop. When he was younger he heard stories of kids sneaking in and touching different items therefore getting cursed with the insane amounts of dark magic in his shop. Now he was older, he knew this was just a story, but it didn’t make him any less nervous to enter his shop, there was an insane amount of light and dark magic inside that freaked him out.

There was something different about Emma, the way she walked and held herself. She was less confident, very aware of her surroundings, normally she was more confident and whilst she was aware people knew her (both as Snow White oldest child, and the current sheriff), she never let this bother her, whereas now, supposedly everyone their parents age would have known her before her curse, people were looking at her wondering if she had broken her curse yet. Even as they enter Mr Gold's shop, which wasn’t actually as scary inside as he pictured, she walked in very determined,

“Okay were here. How do we do this?”

“Patience Miss Nolan.” He tells her.

“Ah and the youngest of the Charming broods I see.” Mr Gold says looking at Neal, who suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. He knew of the things he had done to people, innocent people, in the Enchanted Forest and that made his stomach churn. But his parents (and Emma apparently now too) have trusted him in the past, and Neal guessed so should he.

“Before we make this portal, you don’t do things out of the goodness of whatever heart you have left. What did you ask for in return?” Emma really was not the older sister he grew up with, she was this independent, confident and slightly argumentative woman that looked like his sister, but had a different aura about her.

“For my grandson I was willing to let the poor lad have this without a deal. As for the pirate.” He sneers, Neal was told The Dark One had a colourful history with Hook, and he was seeing this already. “I simply reminded him of the 300 years he spent in Neverland and what, desires, may still lurk.”

Neal had no idea what this meant, and neither did Emma by the looks of it.

“Now, you two are born of the purest true love therefore your powers combined can create some pretty serious magic.” Gold explains, “Now I need the two of you to hold your hands together and believe you are strong enough. You need to think of the portal in your minds, you will feel it when it is ready.”

And so the siblings to just that. They take each other's hands, standing opposite one another and close their eyes. They then take a deep breath and think of a portal in their minds, letting their magic grow and rise above them.

Emma thinks of Henry, and of Killian. She thinks of Neverland in her mind, and when Henry was kidnapped, she thinks of how badly she wanted to get him back and the things she had learnt about herself, about how much she loved Henry. And about how she was feeling something for Hook.

Both siblings can feel the magic, it’s a part of them and it's rushing around their insides like their blood. Gold said they would feel it when the portal was ready, and he was not wrong. It almost splits the two siblings apart, but they hold on to one another until they just know it’s ready.

The two siblings open their eyes and see a door, a green door with black etchings and designs. It's the portal to Neverland.

They're going to save Henry. Again.

_______

The four charming family members step through the beautifully crafted door, the portal to Neverland. They had packed a few bags and Emma was going to see her son (and hopefully true love) for the first time in 25 years. She could be sick.

The greenery of Neverland greets them as they walk through the door, the humidity and vast amount of jungle and sea that they had seen once upon a time. They arrive near the coast, and Emma can’t see the Jolly Roger in the water, but she had to think positively. If Killian was here she would find him. But only after they found Henry.

She looks over at her parents, and they have the same look on their faces. Fear, determination and awoken memories they had shoved into the back of their minds. After all, Emma wasn’t the only person to go through hell in Neverland, her father was poisoned with dreamshade and had planned to spend the rest of eternity here after drinking the rejuvenating waters.

And poor Neal who only found out a few hours ago that she was actually a lot older than him and was cursed, and now he was in Neverland searching for two people he had only met as a baby.

“Let’s head into the jungle then.” Emma says to her family. And so they head off, into the green jungle filled with who knows what. Now Pan was dead, who knows who now ruled Neverland.

It looks the same as it did 30 years ago, but it feels different. The Magic on the Island feels different, she knows this now, by studying magic for years taught her to sense different types of magic and this was some kind of mix of light dark magic. Not as powerful as Dark One Magic, but not the light magic she feels inside herself. Whatever was keeping this Island alive was clearly a type of magic not found in Storybrooke.

They’re walking for probably an hour when Neals plucks up there courage and asks, “Do you recognise anything here?”

Emma wants to ignore him and shut him out, the way she would’ve done before, but he was her brother, “Honestly, no. I thought I would but it all looks the same.”

“I think we should keep walking, I think we’re on a ridge right now and I assume there’s flatland where we can set up camp a little further up.” Their mother cuts in. Snow was a bandit and a runaway for years when her father was killed, so she knows how to scope out new lands and find a place to set up camp, so they don’t question it and sure enough another little while and they find flat land that seems like a good enough place to set up camp.

“Let’s not use magic to set it up though,” Emma tells her brother, “we don’t know what sort of magic is used here, or who now rules this Island and if they can detect magic. It’s just safer to do it the normal way.”

Everyone nods as they begin to set up. Emma is terrified, she has been since she woke up and realised her life was a lie. She had grown up the way she always wished to, with a family, but now she had broken her curse, it didn’t feel right. She abandoned two people she loved, one being her son. The first family she had in 28 years.

They had run away. So heartbroken that they ran from their home. That didn’t make her feel good about herself. Henry has forgiven her for giving him up as a baby, but will he forgive her for this?

“Emma! Emma!”

She’s snapped out of her thoughts by her brother's voice.

“Sorry, I was zoned out.” She tells him.

“Hey it’s okay don’t worry.” He can clearly sense what’s happening in her brain, though he has no idea of the extent. “I know you said no magic, but don’t you think it’s a good idea to put up a protection spell around our camp? To keep out whoever or whatever might attack us.”

Her little brother was brilliant. Though his magical abilities were not as good, lucky for him was not the saviour so his magic wasn't as strong, but what he did know was his magical history and the theory behind magic, much more than Emma did.

“That's actually a really good idea! You can cast it if you want, I’m a little weak after the portal.”  She lies, she’s not weak, she's just scared of using her magic. In her real-or before her cursed life, she didn’t use magic unless it was serious, when she was the Dark One she used it for everything just like in her cursed life.

He believes her lie, why wouldn’t he, she never normally lies to him. He casts the protection spell eagerly, not normally given the chance to do magic.

“We should rest. It’s dark, and we’re not gonna be able to find Henry now. Let’s sleep, and we can figure out our plan in the morning. We also don’t know who or what is in charge of this Island, don’t want to run into them in the middle of the night.” David says to his family, to which they all agree. Emma is exhausted and her dad is right, there’s no point starting now all she knows is he is on the Island somewhere, maybe he’s imprisoned, or worse, enjoying his time on the island where you don’t grow up.

Sharing a tent with Neal when they were kids was a fun adventure, but as two adults, one who was snoring very loudly, it was a very different story. As tired and exhausted as Emma was, or thought she was, she could not sleep. Killian once told her he was never able to sleep in Neverland, as you can hear the cries of the other lost boys and girls.

But you can only hear their cries if you are also a lost one.

Sure Emma had a family, and she grew up surrounded by people who loved her, she had 2 best friends and a little brother. She was the furthest thing from a lost girl. But she was an orphan. For 28 years, she was an orphan who was never wanted, and gave up her child at 17. That part of Emma will never go away.

Giving up on trying to sleep, she gets out of the tent and sits on the log to try and clear her head. If it’s even possible to do that with the cries of lost ones.

She thought about the two men she was here to save. The last time she had seen Henry, it was saying goodbye to him on the school bus, it was a Friday so they planned to have a Star Wars marathon that weekend. Emma had stocked the freezer with Ice Cream especially. Finally Killian would learn and understand their references to Star Wars. She hoped Henry would still be the same smart little kid who questioned everything.

And Killian. God she missed him. He would bring her coffee in the mornings when she had an early start, and when she was on a night shift at the station he would be at home cooking her breakfast. If she hadn’t been cursed, they would’ve been married and had a kid or two by now. They were finally happy, finally without walls, and she had a feeling Killian was going to propose. But of course he never got the chance.

She loses her train of thought when she hears a twig being stepped on. Her impulses kick in and she hides behind the large tree to her left. She hears someone whistling, as if signalling to somebody. She sees him in the distance. A lost boy, around 15, dark hair, like…

“Henry!” She jumps from behind the tree and in front of her son.

He looks startled, obviously because she scared him and also he hasn’t seen her for 25 years. “Mom?”

Emma is smiling so hard right now, “Henry!”

Henry can’t seem to get words out, “m-mom? Is? It’s-you-you’re here?”  

She goes to embrace her son with tears streaming down her face. “I’m here. It’s broken. The curse.”

She pulls back and wipes away her tears.

“Is it really you?” He asks.

Emma looks different to how he remembers her. Her blonde hair is in a french braid, something she only learned to do in this life. Her clothes are nicer, but still donning the red jacket. Henry knows it’s her, but could it really be her?

“It’s me. Henry. It’s really me. I know you love cinnamon on your hot cocoa, and Operation Cobra brought me to Storybrooke and you made me believe in magic in everything.” Emma’s practically sobbing, she didn’t expect to see him so soon.

Henry looks nervous constantly checking his surroundings, “I can’t stay. If you’re truly my mom, then meet me here tomorrow morning when the sun rises over the place they took my heart.”  With one last look he runs away into the darkness of Neverland.

Emma is stunned for a second, confused as to what just happened. Was there someone following him, or did he need to be somewhere?

The place where they took my heart

Dark Hollow . She tried to look around but it was dark, hopefully in the morning she would be able to see the sun rising over it.

Just as she’s pondering over the last minute with Henry, she’s startled by another voice.

“Swan.”

She hasn’t heard that name in 25 years. And there’s only one person who calls her that.

“Killian.”

[dillydedalus]

january reading

why does january always feel like it’s 3 months long. anyway here’s what i read in january, feat. poison experts with ocd, ants in your brain, old bolsheviks getting purged, and mountweazels. 

city of lies, sam hawke (poison wars #1) this is a perfectly nice fantasy novel about jovan, who serves as essentially a secret guard against poisoning for his city state’s heir and is forced to step up when his uncle (also a secret poison guard) and the ruler are both killed by an unknown poison AND also the city is suddenly under a very creepy siege (are these events related? who knows!) this is all very fine & entertaining & there are some fun ideas, but also... the main character has ocd and SAME HAT SAME HAT. also like the idea of having a very important, secret and potentially fatal job that requires you to painstakingly test everything the ruler/heir is consuming WHILE HAVING OCD is like... such a deliciously sadistic concept. amazing. 3/5

my heart hemmed in, marie ndiaye (translated from french by jordan stump) a strange horror-ish tale in which two married teachers, bastions of upper-middle-class respectability and taste, suddenly find themselves utterly despised by everyone around them, escalating until the husband is seriously injured. through several very unexpected twists, it becomes clear that the couple’s own contempt for anyone not fitting into their world and especially nadia’s hostility and shame about her (implied to be northern african) ancestry is the reason for their pariah status. disturbing, surprising, FUCKED UP IF TRUE (looking back, i no longer really know what i mean by that). 4/5

xenogenesis trilogy (dawn/adulthood rites/imago), octavia e. butler octavia butler is incapable of writing anything uninteresting and while i don’t always completely vibe with her stuff, it’s always fascinating & thought-provoking. this series combines some of her favourite topics (genetic manipulation, alien/human reproduction, what is humanity) into a tale of an alien species, the oankali, saving some human survivors from the apocalypse and beginning a gene-trading project with them, integrating them into their reproductive system and creating mixed/’construct’ generations with traits from both species. and like, to me, this was uncomfortably into the biology = destiny thing & didn’t really question the oankali assertion that humans were genetically doomed to hierarchical behaviour & aggression (& also weirdly straight for a book about an alien species with 3 genders that engages in 5-partner-reproduction with humans), so that angle fell flat for me for the most part, altho i suppose i do agree that embracing change, even change that comes at a cost, is better than clinging to an unsustainable (& potentially destructive) purity. where i think the series is most interesting is in its exploration of consent and in how far consent is possible in extremely one-sided power dynamics (curiously, while the oankali condemn and seem to lack the human drive for hierarchy, they find it very easy to abuse their position of power & violate boundaries & never question the morality of this. in this, the first book, focusing on a human survivor first encountering the oankali and learning of their project, is the most interesting, as lilith as a human most explicitly struggles with her position - would her consent be meaningful? can she even consent when there is a kind of biochemical dependence between humans and their alien mates? the other two books, told from the perspectives of lilith’s constructed/mixed children, continue discussing themes of consent, autonomy and power dynamics, but i found them less interesting the further they moved from human perspectives. on the whole: 2.5/5

love & other thought experiments, sophie ward man, we love a pierre menard reference. anyway. this is a novel in stories, each based (loosely) on a thought experiment, about (loosely) a lesbian couple and their son arthur, illness and grief, parenthood, love, consciousness and perception, alternative universes, and having an ant in your brain. it is thoroughly delightful & clever, but goes for warmth and humanity (or ant-ity) over intellectual games (surprising given that it is all about thought experiments - but while they are a nice structuring device i don’t think they add all that much). i haven’t entirely worked out my feelings about the ending and it’s hard to discuss anyway given the twists and turns this takes, but it's a whole lot of fun. 4/5

a general theory of oblivion, josé eduardo agualusa (tr. from portuguese by daniel hahn) interesting little novel(la) set in angola during and after the struggle for independence, in which a portuguese woman, ludo, with extreme agoraphobia walls herself into her apartment to avoid the violence and chaos (but also just... bc she has agoraphobia) with a involving a bunch of much more active characters and how they are connected to her to various degrees. i didn’t like the sideplot quite as much as ludo’s isolation in her walled-in flat with her dog, catching pigeons on the balcony and writing on the walls. 3/5

cassandra at the wedding, dorothy baker phd student cassandra returns home attend (sabotage) her twin sister judith’s wedding to a young doctor whose name she refuses to remember, believing that her sister secretly wants out. cass is a mess, and as a shift to judith’s perspective reveals, definitely wrong about what judith wants and maybe a little delusional, but also a ridiculously compelling narrator, the brilliant but troubled contrast to judith’s safer conventionality. on the whole, cassandra’s narrative voice is the strongest feature of a book i otherwise found a bit slow & a bit heavy on the quirky family. fav line is when cass, post-character-development, plans to “take a quick look at [her] dumb thesis and see if it might lead to something less smooth and more revolting, or at least satisfying more than the requirements of the University”. 3/5

the office of historical corrections, danielle evans a very solid collection of realist short stories (+ the titular novella), mainly dealing with racism, (black) womanhood, relationships between women, and anticolonial/antiracist historiography. while i thought all the stories were well-done and none stood out as weak or an unnecessary inclusion, there also weren’t any that really stood out to me. 3/5

sonnenfinsternis, arthur koestler (english title: darkness at noon) (audio) you know what’s cool about this book? when i added it to my goodreads tbr in 2012, i would have had to read it in translation as the german original was lost during koestler’s escape from the nazis, but since then, the original has been rediscovered and republished. yet another proof that leaving books on your tbr for ages is a good thing actually. anyway. this is a story about the stalinist purges, told thru old bolshevik rubashov, who, after serving the Party loyally for years & doing his fair share of selling people out for the Party, is arrested for ~oppositional activities. in jail and during his interrogations, rubashov reflects on the course the Party has taken and his own part (and guilt) in that, and the way totalitarianism has eaten up and poisoned even the most commendable ideals the Party once held (and still holds?), the course of history and at what point the end no longer justifies the means. it’s brilliant, rubashov is brilliant and despicable, i’m very happy it was rediscovered. 5/5

heads of the colored people, nafissa thompson-spires another really solid short story collection, also focused on the experiences of black people in america (particularly the black upper-middle class), black womanhood and black relationships, altho with a somewhat more satirical tone than danielle evans’s collection. standouts for me were the story in letters between the mothers of the only black girls at a private school, a story about a family of fruitarians, and a story about a girl who fetishises her disabled boyfriend(s). 3.5/5

pedro páramo, juan rulfo (gernan transl. by dagmar ploetz) mexican classic about a rich and abusive landowner (the titular pedro paramo) and the ghost town he leaves behind - quite literally, as, when his son tries to find his father, the town is full of people, quite ready to talk shit about pedro, but they are all dead. it’s an interesting setting with occasionally vivid writing, but the skips in time and character were kind of confusing and i lost my place a lot. i’d be interested in reading rulfo’s other major work, el llano en llamas. 2.5/5

verse für zeitgenossen, mascha kaléko short collection of the poems kaléko, a jewish german poet, wrote while in exile in the united states in the 30-40s, as well as some poems written after the end of ww2. kaléko’s voice is witty, but at turns also melancholy or satirical. as expected i preferred the pieces that directly addressed the experience of exile (”sozusagen ein mailied” is one of my favourite exillyrik pieces). 3/5

the harpy, megan hunter yeah this was boooooooring. the cover is really cool & the premise sounded intriguing (women gets cheated on, makes deal with husband that she is allowed to hurt him three times in revenge, women is also obsessed with harpies: female revenge & female monsters is my jam) but it’s literally so dull & trying so hard to be deep. 1.5/5

the liar’s dictionary, eley williams this is such a delightful book, from the design (those marbled endpapers? yes) to the preface (all about what a dictionary is/could be), to the chapter headings (A-Z words, mostly relating to lies, dishonesty, etc in some way or another, containing at least one fictitious entry), to the dual plots (intern at new edition of a dictionary in contemporary england checking the incomplete old dictionary for mountweazels vs 1899 london with the guy putting the mountweazels in), to williams’s clear joy about words and playing with them. there were so many lines that made me think about how to translate them, which is always a fun exercise. 3.5/5

catherine the great & the small, olja knežević (tr. from montenegrin by ellen elias-bursać, paula gordon) coming-of-age-ish novel about katarina from montenegro, who grows up in  titograd/podgorica and belgrad in the 70s/80s, eventually moving to london as an adult. to be honest while there are some interesting aspects in how this portrays yugoslavia and conflicts between the different parts of yugoslavia, i mostly found this a pretty sloggy slog of misery without much to emotionally connect to, which is sad bc i was p excited for it :(. 2/5

the decameron project: 29 new stories from the pandemic, anthology a collection of short stories written during covid lockdown (and mostly about covid/lockdown in some way). they got a bunch of cool authors, including margaret atwood, edwidge danticat, rachel kushner ... it’s an interesting project and the stories are mostly pretty good, but there wasn’t one that really stood out to me as amazing. i also kinda wish more of the stories had diverged more from covid/lockdown thematically bc it got a lil repetitive tbh. 2/5

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Company Upgrade Dates (Eng Translation)

🍒This post contains detailed spoilers for dates unreleased in English servers!🍒

I accidentally skipped the first set of Season 2 dates, the “Company Upgrade” Collection, thinking they were just Rumours & Secrets:

These dates are important as a starting point for future S2 dates! They are mostly in bullet-point form, but all plot points and important dialogue are covered ❤️

⚡️ Shaw’s Way Home Date (归路之约) ⚡️

MC arrives at Loveland City airport after a business trip and receives a text from Shaw stating that he’d be picking her up 

(even though she didn’t give him any details of her flight)

He appears, in all his glory, on a skateboard

Shaw picks up her luggage and also shows genuine concern for her work and how tired she looks

MC: I can carry it myself.

As soon as I stretch out my hand, Shaw spins the luggage around in a circle so I can’t reach it.

Shaw: If you carry it yourself, I wouldn’t have any purpose for coming here.

DELICIOUS BANTER

MC: Oh right, why did you think of picking me up?

Shaw: It was along on the way. Or I did it on a whim. Whatever reason you like.

MC: ...

Even after a week of not seeing him, this brat’s words are still as annoying.

MORE DELICIOUS BANTER

MC: Don’t you have class in the afternoon today?

Shaw: There’s class, but I skipped it.

MC: It’s not good to skip classes.

Shaw: It isn’t good, so I informed the teacher beforehand.

MC: Eh? What did you say?

Shaw: I said that I hadn’t seen my girlfriend in a month, so I want to pick her up.

MC: What...!?

Hearing this, my heartbeat goes into a frenzy.

Shaw: You really believed me?

Shaw asks MC to cook him dinner as thanks for travelling the great distance to pick her up

They return home by subway, but it’s incredibly packed

Shaw pulls her to a corner

My back leans against the wall of the train carriage. Standing in front of me, Shaw places a hand on the wall beside me, separate me from the crowd.

MC: What are you doing?

Shaw: Can’t you see?

He lifts his other hand and places it onto the wall of the train carriage, encircling me with this pose, which is reminiscent of a hug. He creates an empty corner in the crowded train. 

She falls asleep, and he holds onto her shoulders so she doesn’t sway

Shaw: Hey. We’re going to miss the stop. If you don’t wake up soon, I’ll have to carry you back.

MC: !!

After they leave the train:

MC: I didn’t think I’d actually fall asleep.

I turn and sneak a glance at Shaw’s side profile. He senses my gaze and meets my eyes.

Shaw: Not only that. You even drooled.  

MC: N-no way...

I hurriedly look at his shoulders, but can’t see any traces of dampness. I let out a huge sigh of relief.

MC: Is it very fun to lie to me?

Shaw: It’s your fault for having such interesting reactions.

At home, Shaw wolfs down her cooking. It turns out he was busy and didn’t have lunch T^T

He even helps tidy and wash the dishes for her

Afterwards, she finds him in the balcony and asks what he has been busy with

Shaw brushes them off as “unimportant things”

MC suddenly says she wants to hear him play the bass

Shaw re-enters the house and brings out an erhu instead (since MC doesn’t have a bass)

Shaw makes the erhu play her name and a “you are stupid”

MC: Why are you scolding me?

I suddenly feel a little gloomy, but he continues playing a few notes. Even though my mind hasn’t figured it out yet, my heart beat speeds up.

Shaw: Do you understand?

Shaw puts down the musical instrument and crosses the handrail over to me.

The dim light from behind the curtains is reflected in his eyes, as though filled with unwavering momentum.

Shaw: You have a really slow reaction.

Accompanying his ridicule, what enters my ears is the rumble of thunder from the clear sky.

Shaw straightens up, and his corners of his mouth hook upwards.

Shaw: It’s going to rain.

-

Shaw’s Call: here

-

🌻 Kiro’s Show Date (戏中之约) 🌻

This date basically shows how MC and Kiro share a very light-hearted relationship, where he likes teasing her

MC is at the scene of Kiro’s filming location, and comments on how realistic the effects are

Kiro is filming a gunfight, and the atmosphere is very tense

The famous Kiro Pointing A Gun At Himself™ scene occurs as part of the filming

Kiro: Since we can only pick between one of us, take my life, and you’ll be safe. It’s nothing worth being surprised over. There’s only one person who I’m willing to exchange my life for. So, tell me your answer.

There is mockery and paranoia in his eyes, but not a trace of fear.

It’s as though he already knows the other party’s choice... even if his bet is wrong, he will continue enjoying this game.

Even if death is what awaits him at the end.

Director: OK, cut!

Kiro’s seamless performance garners applause from the audience

After that, Kiro and MC head to an open air restaurant

Kiro what choice MC would make if she were the protagonist of the show and one of them has to die

MC: I’ll change the script, so the both of us can live.

Kiro keeps teasing her e.g. eating her half-eaten biscuit

She suddenly hears a loud sound, and she grabs Kiro’s hand

There are a series of explosions below as part of the special effects from the filming site

Kiro: Even though almost everything you saw today was artificial, you can remember the me of right now. The me in front of you is the real me.

I turn back to Kiro, who looks at me at the same time. His fingers are on the back of my hand. The temperature and touch are extremely real.

And the memories belonging to us will always remain in this real moment.

-

Kiro’s Call: here

-

🌹 Victor’s Secret Date (隐秘之约) 🌹

MC wakes up and finds herself in an unknown underground facility. From the unknown voices in the beginning, it’s clear she wasn’t the target of the kidnap

Victor is with her too, and they briefly go through what happened beforehand: MC and Victor were on their way to the carpark at around 7pm after going through a report

The doors aren’t locked, and they aren’t tied up

Victor: I’ll give you five minutes to adjust your state of mind.

His sentence, which came out of nowhere, startles me slightly.

Looking at his expressionless face, I suddenly realise something and laugh.

Victor: What are you laughing at?

MC: Are you... concerned about me?

Victor: ...instead of asking unrelated questions, spend your time on something useful. You still have 4 minutes and 8 seconds.

Victor gets her to check the area right outside the door. When she returns, Victor tells her to stay close to him, and grabs on to her

He reveals that he can no longer see

Despite his temporary blindness, he’s very calm

He speculates that the reason why they’re here is to keep Victor away from an auction taking place the day after they got kidnapped (which is the present moment)

Victor hands her his cuffs, which are actually electronic transceivers

MC: Boss, actually... you can give me a direct order to bring you out of here. This place looks like an abandoned experiment site, so...

I leave the remaining speculations in my heart. The people who threw us here... did they do it just to prevent Victor from participating in the auction?

We’re surrounded by darkness. I hold the electronic transceiver to find the exit.

Victor follows behind me, sometimes pointing out the correct direction.

MC: Victor, are you sure you really can’t see? Is this just a test for me...

Victor: ...you’re the one who is testing me. Do you want to get hit and become even more stupid?

He gently pulls me to his side, preventing me from turning around and hitting the wall in front.

Victor: After walking for such a long time, you still don’t know the approximate distance?

MC: Right now, I think you might be able to make it in time for the auction.

Victor: Being optimistic is good, but...

Suddenly, they hear someone walking around and shouting extremely loudly

Victor uses his palms to cover MC’s ears <3

MC musters her courage, stops herself from trembling, and finds a place for them to hide

Right now, there’s no time to figure out who this person is. No matter what, I can’t let Victor get hurt here.

I promised him once before.

The sound of the footsteps eventually disappear

MC: You weren’t worried that I’d accidentally bring us to that insane person?

Pulling Victor into a dark corner, I do my best to adjust my breathing, and force my voice not to tremble.

Victor: Since I said that I’d trust you, I wouldn’t doubt you.

Victor guesses that the people who brought them here aren’t out for their lives, or they wouldn’t be allowed to roam freely

MC then wonders why they had to blind Victor, and points out that the man just now seemed deranged. She guesses that it’s a result of simply being in the underground facility. Someone wanted him to know about the existence of the facility, but not give further details

MC: I have a question, but I’m not sure if I should bring it up.

Victor: There will be Arab merchants bringing new reagents to the auction. They contain certain special elements.

MC: I haven’t even asked.

Victor: Was my answer wrong?

I smile secretly, lowering my eyes to look at our overlapping hands.

MC: You answered wrongly. I wanted to say that even the dignified CEO of LFG can get kidnapped in such a confusing manner, and even get his eyes hurt.

Victor: If you want to obtain a precious prey, you need to prepare a cherished bait.

MC: Could it be...

Victor: That auction is also a bait.

At 7pm, there’s a signal from the electronic transceiver, and they leave the underground facility

Security reaches the scene, and Goldman comes rushing over

Victor sends a few men to the facility to investigate

Victor asks MC to follow him, and it’s clear that he doesn’t want anyone to know of his temporary blindness

MC watches as Victor successfully clips on his seatbelt:

Victor: I’m able to feel it.

MC: ...I wasn’t looking at you!

MC wonders where they’re heading to since they’re late for the auction. Victor tells her that they’re going to a winery

When she looks at the rearview mirror, she sees that the place they were at has caught on fire

MC: Did you already sense that something was amiss with the auction?

Victor: Mm. That Arab merchant is just a guise. Behind him is a private arms organisation. They used the Arab merchant just to gauge the interest level for their reagent.

MC: Didn’t you say it was an auction you needed to attend?

Victor: They just wanted to ensure good faith.

MC: And there’s no need now?

Victor: Now, there is a different way to show my sincerity.

Once they reach the winery, Victor hands MC a gun

Victor: Can I continue trusting you?

MC: You have no other choice.

In the winery, the merchant tries to push the reagent to Victor

Merchant: Does CEO Victor have doubts regarding the efficacy of the medicine? It has already gone through tests, and it can...

Victor: I need to doubt medicine that causes mental breakdowns when injected?

Merchant: ...

Victor: I’m not interested in your medicine. The thing I want is your newly mined ore field. All of it. I don’t need technical staff.

Merchant: CEO Victor’s transaction seems to be overly greedy.

Victor: I’ve said it before - I’m uninterested in your defective products. Apart from LFG, no other company can meet your capital needs.

Merchant: Aren’t you being too confident? The world is pretty big. Maybe the STF can give us similar support.

Victor: In that case, you better ensure your safety and leave Loveland City before obtaining their support. One thing LFG doesn’t lack is business partners. Meeting you personally is enough to express my sincerity.

The transaction is completed

They head to LFG, and Victor tells her to drive back

BRACE YOURSELF FOR A CUTE SCENE:

MC: Victor, I’ll send you upstairs.

Victor: No need.

MC: Your eyes...

Victor: I’ll handle it, don’t worry. You did very well today. I owe you a favour.

Victor doesn’t give me a chance to respond. He opens the car door and heads towards the main entrance of LFG.

I release a secret sigh and hastily leave the car to walk to his side.

MC: That’s the side entrance. The side entrance of LFG doesn’t open at night.

Victor: ...do you know LFG better than I do?

Switching his direction, he walks confidently towards the railing near the main entrance.

I hurriedly grab onto his sleeve in order to make this brave man stop.

The night has softened his cold edges. His shoulders are straight. Ever since what happened with his eyes, he hasn’t uttered a single word of frustration.

Perhaps he’d never say such words.

Sensing my quietness, Victor lets out a soft sigh. He turns his head slightly, then closes his eyes in resignation.

Victor: Since you want to be responsible, take responsibility till the end. Before my day lights up, don’t think of leaving.

-

Victor’s Call: here

-

🦋 Lucien’s Bondage Date (束缚之约) 🦋

MC receives a call from the newest member of Black Swan. He proudly proclaims that he has caught a “big fish” who has agreed to provide important information only if MC personally goes to the interrogation room

She receives a photo of the “big fish” - it’s Lucien.

And she knows something is amiss because Lucien isn’t someone who would get caught so easily

When she reaches the interrogation room, Lucien is tied up and injured

Even so...

His smile and posture are not those of a caged prisoner. Instead, it’s as though he’s waiting in the dark for his prey to enter a trap...

A successful hunter.

Lucien: What’s wrong? You’re not happy to see me like this? Just now, someone mentioned that... I’m a surprise prepared for you.

I clench my teeth hard, and exert more strength as I grip the iron cage.

MC: ...are you okay?

Lucien: Are you showing concern for me?

MC: I just want to know what exactly you’re planning.

Lucien: I don’t quite understand Miss MC’s meaning. Shouldn’t you tell me what you’re planing to do with me, since you were the one who made me like this?

MC: You...

MC clarifies that she didn’t know Lucien would be brought here

Lucien keeps toying with her so she snaps

MC: Professor Lucien, I think you can clearly see the situation before you. Right now, you are a “guest” invited by Black Swan. If you want to get out, you have to prove your worth. If you don’t give us something of equivalent value, we won’t let you leave.

Lucien: Equivalent value... you make sense. In that case, what do you want then? Perhaps with more specific questions, I can give you more satisfactory answers.

MC: ...I’m not a student who’s asking you questions!

Lucien: My student would never be so fierce towards me. I’m already like this, and you still don’t believe my sincerity? I’ve thought of a piece of secret information you may be interested in. This matter involves Black Swan and core members of the STF, and it’s a secret I’ve been keeping.

MC: Lucien, are you being serious?

Lucien: It would be revealed sooner of later. Knowing it earlier could be of some help to you. If you want to know, come closer to me.

I freeze involuntarily, casting a glance at the single-sided glass separating us from the surveillance room.

Lucien: As a representative of Black Swan, shouldn’t you show me some good faith if you want the information?

She goes closer to him, but he keeps toying with her e.g. telling her that he’s cold so she should come closer to warm him up. Finally, he speaks.

Lucien: Actually, I have an arrangement with someone in Black Swan.

MC: What you mean by “arrangement”? An agent you planted?

Lucien: If you put it that way, I can't deny it. A person I planned on bringing along with me when I left this place. It’s just that back then, the timing wasn’t ripe yet.

MC: After you left, did you remain in contact with the person who kept you informed about the organisation’s internal affairs?

Lucien: Yes.

MC: ...who is it?

I stare at Lucien, my heart beating rapidly. I can’t tell if my emotions can be called anger or something else.

Lucien’s eyes continue to sparkle. He arches the corners of his mouth, as though in a good mood.

That layer of suppressed anger dissipates, and I suddenly realise something.

MC: ...Lucien, don’t speak nonsense.

Lucien: I never lie. You should know that clearly.  

MC: You...

Lucien: That person is a female.

MC knows that every word and action is being watched by the people in the surveillance room

Lucien: We’ve known each other for a long time. After leaving the organisation... she has been the one taking the initiative to look for me most of the time.

MC: Nonsense! You’re just-

Lucien: Of course, I miss her a lot. Perhaps there is a tacit understanding between us. Whenever I miss her, she will appear.

MC: But the relationship between the two of you is simply sharing the benefits of exchanging information, am I right?

Lucien: ...is that so? It sounds like there isn’t a relationship at all. Did you know? Sometimes, feelings are part of a beneficial exchange. Many people simply don’t realise it, and lose out in the process. With this thought in mind, perhaps those people are the ultimate winners.

At this point, the STF barges in. Lucien frees himself from the ropes.

Lucien: I wasn’t speaking nonsense. I do have someone I want to take with me.

I feel a tightening on my wrists and I exclaim in surprise. Both my hands have been gently bound in front of me, bringing with it a silky touch.

Lucien: Now, can I take you away?

MC: ...that’s not possible.

I look him in the eyes. In the darkness, the rotating red lights occasionally flash across his face, looking blurry and dangerous.

MC: I’ve said it before. It’s all right if you choose to walk down another path, because I’ll walk the remaining half of this path on your behalf. I’ll prove to you that the decision we made at the beginning was not wrong.

Lucien ...I got it.

At this moment, I seem to understand the true loneliness in this man’s eyes than ever before. At the same time, I feel as though I’m the person he has lied to the most in the world.

Lucien: In that case, sleep for a while...

Realising what he’s about to do, I try to escape.

Lucien’s palm has already covered my eyes, the warmth reminiscent of a cloud which has been under the sun for a long time.

MC: Lucien... you're lying to me again.

Lucien: What?

MC: You...

His voice trembles in my ear. In my hazy state, I don’t know if I said the words in my heart.

He lied so that I would enter this cold iron cell and warm him up.

But his hands are burning hot, as though the temperature had been stored for a long time, reserving it for the lady who has gotten frozen in order to find him.

MC: Lucien, you don’t... feel cold at all, right?

~

When MC awakes, she’s at home. She feels an itch on her wrist and sees rope marks

She receives a notification on her phone telling her that the underground interrogation room has been sealed by the STF, but there aren’t any traces left of what happened yesterday

The interrogation materials have also been wiped

The doorbell rings, and it’s Lucien

MC: Are you Mr Advisor, or Professor Lucien?

Lucien: Right now, I’m just a neighbour who is inviting you for dinner. Will you do me the honour?

MC: Mm... I happen to be a little hungry.

Lucien smiles. When he takes my hand, his eyes fall on the ribbon tied to my wrist.

Lucien: Is this... a new ornament?

...oh no, I forgot to take it off last night.

Looking at his expression, which clearly shows that he knows what’s going on, I nod and pretend nothing happened.

MC: Even I don’t know where it came from. Come to think of it, could it have been you?

I ask Lucien, lifting my head while changing my shoes at the entrance.

He smiles, his warm fingertips gliding across my wrist. He chuckles lightly while unravelling the delicate knot.

Lucien: Next time, I’ll tie it a little more tightly.

-

Lucien’s Call: here

-

💔 Gavin’s Stray Date (迷途之约) 💔

MC is in a hut on a cliff by the sea looking for someone

She spots a familiar figure 👀

She tries to sneak away because she doesn’t want trouble, but the wind lifts her off the ground and brings her over to Gavin

Gavin: Care to explain?

Gavin lifts his head and arches his brows slightly. Both hands are crossed in front of his chest as he watches me hover in the air.

MC: I... was just preparing for a future photoshoot.

While he tries to catch her in a lie, he uses his Evol to gradually make her hover above the ocean...

MC: You... this is against the rules!

Gavin: I’ve always used my own methods to resolve issues.

MC tries to suppress her trembling, and reaches out to maintain her balance. She then realises that the air currents around her are controlled very well to ensure she doesn’t fall - Gavin is just trying to scare her

She calms down and relaxes her posture, even smiling at him

Gavin: [sighs] You’re not afraid?

He closes his eyes and sighs softly, bringing me closer to the cliff. He still doesn’t put me down.

MC: I said it before - I’m not afraid of you. So, you can’t scare me.

Gavin: What relation do you have with that person?

MC: Does STF’s mission have something to do with that person?

Gavin: This has nothing to do with you.

MC: In that case, my answer also has nothing to do with you.

His fingertips tremble and he looks straight at me. I sit on the air current and clench my fists, staring back at him.

MC: Gavin, I also have things I want to use my own methods to resolve. He has taken something he shouldn’t have. I’m not sure about the rest of it, and I don’t want to know.

The strength of the air current gradually becomes weaker. I try to maintain my balance, but Gavin suddenly holds me gently.

With one hand, he grabs my wrist. With the other, he brushes my back so I can stand on the ground steadily.

He must have stood here for a long time - he smells of the ocean breeze.

Gavin takes half a step back. This wordless hug was so brief that it almost feels like a hallucination.

Gavin: He has always been on the STF’s wanted list. For three years.

~

A few days later, MC uses intelligence from the STF to look for the man

Under the cover of the sprinkler system of the hotel, she looks for the USB drive in the man’s room

Gavin suddenly breaks the window and enters the room

The first thing he does is to scan the room for a fire... and only after he sees there isn’t any, he rushes to MC (does this mean he still has a phobia of fire?? 😭)

Just when you think this isn’t painful enough:

After pressing the off button, he casually wipes off the water droplets from his forehead and fringe. When his hair curls up in the air, it actually looks pretty cute.

That strawberry hairband and resigned expression suddenly flash before my eyes.

A curtain of water clouds my vision. I blink repeatedly, forcing myself to focus on the present.

[Note: It’s a reference to Gavin’s Prank Date]

While they talk, they discover that it was neither STF nor MC who set off the fire alarm. The man had escaped with the help of somebody else

Gavin puts a jacket over MC and carries her out of the window

MC asks if they can work together, but Gavin says:

Gavin: That’s not the way I work. The thing you’re looking for is unrelated to Black Swan, so I won’t look into it. But this doesn’t mean it’d be the same next time.

When he reaches the ground, he holds me in his arms and walks to the ambulance, blocking me from the sight of onlookers.

Gavin: She suffered some injuries just now. Bring her to the hospital.

After speaking, he lifts the jacket that’s covering my face, and leans close to my ear.

Gavin: Don’t involve yourself in this matter again.

~

Later, MC leaves the hospital, hugging Gavin’s jacket. She’s at the port.

A few minutes ago, she received a call telling her that the man plans to leave Loveland City through the port that night

It’s also revealed that the man betrayed Black Swan

Suddenly thinking of something, she calls Gavin, who already knows of the man’s plans to leave Loveland City

MC voices her suspicions that the person helping the man isn’t simply helping him escape out of kindness. From her investigations, the man hasn’t kept in contact with anyone after leaving Black Swan three years ago

Gavin says he’d head to the port, but MC says there isn’t enough time

Gavin: I know what you’re thinking. You don’t have to worry about these things. All you have to do is keep yourself safe, and leave the rest of it to me.

MC persuades him to direct her so she can find him quickly, since STF would need some time to arrive

MC: Gavin, you have to trust me. Trust me, all right?

Gavin: You have to promise.

MC: I promise nothing will happen to me, and that I have my ways of protecting myself. And I also trust that you’d give me the correct judgments.

I’m no longer that person who only knows how to let you stand in front of me. This time, I’ll stand beside you, and will not back down.

MC: Gavin, I’m at the unloading zone.

The lights from the cold machine are reflected in his eyes. Beneath his palm is the entire port.

He forces himself to lean against the chair instead of immediately rushing to the girl’s side.

Gavin: In 50 metres, there are two people at two o'clock. The target is moving towards Area C. There’s no rush. Your speed is faster than him.

MC: That’s a shuttle bus I “borrowed”.

Hearing the girl’s slightly satisfied tone, he can’t help but let out a secret smile.

Gavin: [softly laughs] Turn right.

MC: Did you just laugh...

Gavin: No.

MC: Don’t think you can lie just because I can’t see you.

Gavin: ...

MC: I guessed correctly, right? If it’s you, you’d definitely say something along the lines of “I won’t lie to you��.

Gavin: Didn’t you lie to me in front of the hut?

MC: ...

Gavin: Turn left in front. He’s stopped.

MC: I don’t have a choice sometimes...

The girl sounds as though she’s been wronged. Her voice goes round and round, worming into the tip of his heart, and gently prodding it twice.

Gavin: I...

MC: Gavin! I think I see him!

I hide behind a container secretly, watching as the man looks around furtively, as though waiting for someone.

A red dot appears on his back, and trails upwards.

MC: !!!

I rush forward quickly, throwing two black objects in the direction where the red light came from.

In the dense smoke screen, the man sees that things are amiss, and whips out a detonator from the pocket of his coat.

A massive explosion sounds. I grip the man’s collar tightly, but am held in a warm embrace the very next second.

MC: Gavin?!

Gavin: Did you really think I’d let you come here alone?

~

Gavin: So this is your way of protecting yours-

Comical ribbons fall lightly on the top of Gavin’s head, hanging in front of his left eye. 

His bright amber eyes blink. Gavin turns his head to look at the sky full of coloured ribbons. 

A gigantic inflatable man holds a banner with the word “surprise”, and it sways in the wind. 

The man freezes in place while holding onto the detonator, looking as though he doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. 

MC: I knew early on that there’d be something “special” here. How is it? I said I had my ways. Unexpected, right? 

Gavin lifts his hand, gently removing the ribbon next to my ear. He fails to suppress a smile. 

Gavin: Unexpected. But we’ll talk about this later. 

He stands up, looking coldly at the man cowering in the corner. 

Gavin: MC, turn around. 

MC: Okay...

I listen to Gavin and turn around obediently. The moon hides behind the clouds, as though carrying a sense of pity. 

Soon after, Gavin receives news that the sniper has been brought under control.

After explaining how the sniper was caught, Gavin places something on the top of her head - it’s the USB she’s been searching for

MC: Even though I really didn't do anything bad, you’re just giving it to me directly? You don’t need to check it? 

Gavin: I’m taking it away if you keep asking. 

MC: I won’t ask, I won’t ask. 

However, MC has another question - how did Gavin appear at the scene when he should have been in STF’s command room? 

Gavin doesn’t give her a straightforward answer

Gavin: I was at the control system, but I could also come here. That’s it.

[And then Papergames cuts me deep by playing Gavin’s S1 bgm out of nowhere...]

At this moment, sirens blare in the distance. The special reinforcements have arrived.

I dig into my bag and realise my car keys are missing.

 A bunch of bright keys slide in the air and fall into my palm.

MC: I even thought you’d detain me for an investigation.

Gavin: Aren’t you...

He pauses, and he retracts the words on his lips. After a long time, he speaks slowly.

Gavin: You didn’t do anything bad, right? 

Gavin turns his head to the side. The crescent moon hides his eyes in the night. 

Gavin: Didn't you ask me to trust you? 

His voice is very light. It’s so light that once the words leave his lips, they are immediately swallowed up by the night wind. 

MC: What? 

Gavin: You’re still not leaving? Do you really want me to detain you? 

I purse my lips at him, then grip the car keys as I run in the direction of the car park Gavin told me about. I suddenly think of something, and turn around. 

MC: Isn’t it very convenient to work with me? If you keep rejecting me, you’ll lose out. I suggest you consider it properly next time. 

Gavin: All right, I’ll consider it. The next time you face danger, you don’t need to rush into it alone. It’s quite silly. 

MC: You...

Gavin: You can call my name.

-

Do you know why this hurts so much? Because he’s unintentionally referencing his very first date - the Relieving Date:

-

Gavin’s call: here

-

🌸 MOMENTS 🌸

Gavin’s Post: Another coincidence?

MC: I even feel like I'm staging it.

Gavin: Having your car break down doesn’t count.

[Note: I translated “staging it” from “碰瓷”, which refers to how some drivers manoeuvre unsuspecting motorists into crashes in order to make false insurance claims.]

-

Gavin’s Post: Another coincidence?

MC: I didn’t think my car would break down outside the STF entrance, causing trouble for you again.

Gavin: It’s okay, it’s no effort at all.

-

Gavin’s Post: Another coincidence?

MC: My engine might have its own ideas... but thank you for your wind in helping me move the car.

Gavin: Ahem, it’s just safer that way. 

[squishyeth]

cam girl [g.d] au

SUMMARY: Y/n is the shy girl. Grayson Dolan is the most popular boy. What happens when Grayson finds out that the cam girl he’s been chatting with is the  girl that he sees everyday.

WARNING: sexual content (masturbation-male, p&v penetration, fingering), graphic language

NOTES: italics are flashbacks

WORD COUNT: 3.5k

*I DO NOT OWN ANY GIFS*

“You’re so sexy, Mistress.” Sexyboi69 moaned out as he was stroking his length. I continued to dance seductively.

“Are you going to cum?” I said, biting my lips and shaking my ass a little. With that, I see the white liquid spurt out and his loud moan fills the room.

“That was my best orgasm yet.” Sexyboi69 complimented as he cleaned his hand with a towel.

“Same time as tomorrow?” I asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Of course” he replied, with a thumbs up. I can’t see his face, but from the sound of his voice, he’s probably smiling; smirking even. The call ended and my phone dinged. I lifted up my cat mask to see it was from venmo.

‘Sexyboi69 paid KittyMistress $300 for a good time ;)’

CURRENT DAY

Y/N’s POV

I sat in the back of English, doodling as the teacher rambles on about her personal life that no one seems to care about. When I begin shading in the kitty’s ears, the bell rings. 

“Don’t forget to read chapter 13 and be ready to discuss it tomorrow!” Mrs. Allen said as everybody was packing up their bags and leaving. I put my sketchbook away and beginning zipping up my backpack. I got up and made my way out of the class. I saw Grayson holding the door open because he was a little bit in front of me.

“Thank you” I said quietly and as I walked away, I heard a faint you’re welcome. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a crush on him. Hell, everybody does. Grayson and Ethan Dolan are the most popular boys in this shit hole of a school. They have every girl swooning over them. I just particularly like Grayson more. I’ve had a crush on Grayson since 7th grade. He has just never noticed me because we don’t come from the same “clique.”

LATER THAT DAY

I put on my cat mask I got from a Halloween store a few months back. That’s when I became a cam girl. I do it for the money because my family struggles with paying bills. They don’t know that I’m on an adult site or else they will lose it. All my parents know is that I babysit some kid who lives down the street. I post free videos on the site, but I charge for personal videos or a skype session. My most popular client is Sexyboi69. He only shows his crotch area, but I don’t mind because I never show my face. Speaking of, my skype went off and Sexyboi69 showed up on the laptop screen. I hit accept.

“Hey” I innocently said, sitting crossed leg on my bed.

“HI, Mistress.” He said, waving to the camera.

“How are you?” I asked, biting my lip. 

“Eh, school stresses me out nothing new” He replied, “Just need a release” He finished, stroking his hard on. It turned me on, but I don’t touch myself on camera. I save that for my alone time. 

“And that’s where I come in!” I replied, with a giggle; standing up.

“Would you consider taking off the mask just this once?” He asked. I froze in place and before I could react, I slammed the laptop shut.

‘Sexyboi69 paid KittyMistress $500 I’m sorry :(’

THE NEXT DAY

I sat in my usual spot, in the back. I don’t have many friends. That’s a lie, I have no friends. 

“Quiet down!” The teacher said loudly, snapping her fingers like we’re dogs. 

“Okay, I’m going to explain the final project for Taming of the Shrew and it’s a partnered project” she explained and everyone cheered, except me, I internally groaned. “Except I’m picking the partners.” She finished to which now made everybody groaned. I’m eh on this; at least I don’t have to do the picking. She started pairing the class until she got to me and the one person I did not want to work with is

“Grayson, you’ll be partnered with Y/n.” She said 

‘Fuck’ I mouthed, keeping my eyes glued to my sketchbook.

“Man, I wanted the smart one.” One guy shouted, which resulted in the class to laugh. Great, just because I’m quiet, everybody thinks I’m Einstein. Everybody scatters around to their respective work partner and I stay seated; he’s going to have to come to me because I am not getting up.

“Hey” I hear a male voice say. I look up to see it’s Grayson.

“Hi” I quietly reply. He seats in the desk in front of me.

“Did you draw this?” He asked, pointing at the cat girl. I nodded.

“It’s really good, I like it!” He replied, smiling.

“Thanks” I mumbled with a small smile.

“So about the project” he stated, “We could go to my house, but my parents don’t trust me enough to bring someone over so do you have anywhere we could go to work together?” he asked. 

“My parent’s don’t come home until like 8 so we could work at my house?” I suggested quietly, trying not to make a lot of eye contact.

“That will work! Do you drive?” He asked, I shook my head “bus” I stated.

“Not today.” He replied with a smile.

LATER THAT DAY

We pulled up my driveway and Grayson turns the car off and we both get out and walk across the dead grass.

“Your house is, nice” he hesitated to say. If old and torn down is nice then thanks I guess. I know he’s just trying to make small talk, but no talk would be better. I unlocked the front door and walked in, locking the door once Grayson was in. 

“My room is the first door on the right,” I explained “Do you want some water?” I asked

“Yes please” He replied with a smile and made his way down the hall. I went into the kitchen and grabbed the ice trays from the freezer. After I filled two cups with ice water, I made my way to my room. When I entered my room, I saw Grayson sitting on my bed, holding my cat mask with furrowed eyebrows. I panicked and dropped the cups. He jerked his head to me, still holding the mask.

“Um, can I see that mask?” I asked, ignoring the cold water I’m standing in.

“Yeah, sorry” He said, handing it to me “Do you need help cleaning this up?” He asked, pointing to the water puddle.

“Uh no it’s fine” I stuttered “I’ll get more water though.” I said while turning around leaving a clueless Grayson standing at my door.

‘I really hope he doesn’t know who KittyMistress is’ I thought to myself. He’s a teen boy with hormones. I shouldn’t have let him go in my room by himself. I don’t even want to know what people would if they find out about the person behind the mask of KittyMistress. I am so stupid.

MOMENTS LATER

After I cleaned up the mess, we got started on the project. Scratch that, I started the project. This always happens so I’m not mad. It may hurt a little more because this is my crush and he’s paying no attention to me. My phone vibrated from my lap. It’s skype.

‘I really am sorry about yesterday :(’ Sexyboi69 texted. I look up to see Grayson is busy texting.

‘It’s fine’ I texted

‘I won’t be able to video chat. School stuff.’ He texted back

‘That’s fine! :) I have a school project coming up so I probably won’t be available for the next couple of days’ I hit send before placing my phone back in my lap. I got back to writing a summary, but I felt a pair of eyes on me.

THE NEXT DAY 

Mrs. Allen let us work on the project in class. Of course, Grayson was talking to his friends across the classroom. The bell rang and I have never been happier. My stuff was already packed so I put my backpack on and briskly walked out of the classroom with my English notebook clutched in my arms. As I’m walking to my next class, my phone vibrates,

‘Hey :)’ Sexyboi69 texted. What? Why now?

‘Hello?’ I sent, entering my biology class. Grayson also has this class with me, but I sit in the front and he sits in the back.

‘Why ?’ He sent back, I felt a pair of eyes burning the back of my head so I turned around, but saw no one, I turned back around.

GRAYSON’s POV

I’m overthinking it. Y/n is not KittyMistress. KittyMistress is confident and wild and y/n is quiet and clumsy. She’s a cute clumsy though. I look up to see y/n turning her head around so I put my head back down and pretend I’m texting. It’s not like I have a crush on her or anything. I have a thing for KittyMistress. Well, it’s one sided; I really want to know the face of the sexy body I see everyday. The face under the same exact mask y/n owns. Then again anybody can own that mask; I’ve seen that exact mask at a Halloween store. There it’s settled; y/n is not KittyMIstress.

LATER THAT DAY

I’m back at y/n’s house and she’s working on the project. I should really start helping. When I open my mouth, I hear the front door and a woman’s voice,

“Y/n! Are you home?” The woman yelled.

“Shit” y/n whispered. The woman opened door when y/n stood up and we made eye contact.

“Oh. Who’s this handsome young man?” She asked, smiling. 

“Um, Grayson” y/n stuttered out, “We’re working on an English project together.” She finished, fidgeting with the hem of her hoodie. The woman, who I’m guessing is her mom asks me,

“Oh yay! Grayson, we would love to have to stay for dinner!” She exclaimed as if her daughter doesn’t bring home friends. She has friends, right? I looked over at y/n who was chewing at her bottom lip, nervously.

“I would love to” I replied, smiling. Her mother seems nice.

“Yay!” She exclaimed, while clapping “Your father should be home early, but dinner should be ready soon!” She said before closing the door behind her and leaving us alone.

“Your mom is nice.” I said, smiling which resulted in y/n groaning.

AN HOUR LATER

We were all seated at the tiny table. I don’t remember the last time I’ve eaten with my family, but this feels nice.

“So Grayson” y/n’s dad started off “How did you meet my daughter?” He asked, dabbing his face with a napkin.

“We’ve had the classes since middle school, sir, but we got partnered up this year on a final project.” I explained, he nodded and drank his water. I can see from the corner of my eye that y/n is blushing. She’s so cute.

“You know,” y/n’s mom says while covering her mouth to swallow “She’s always talking about how cute this Gra-” she continues, but is interrupted by y/n coughing.

“Sweetie, are you okay?” Her mother asks with concern and rubs her back. Y/n just nods and drinks some water.

“Oh what was I saying?” She says

“Honey, we probably shouldn’t overwhelm him with questions.” Her husband said with a chuckle. 

“You’re right” She sighed “I just got excited because our daughter never brings guests home” She finished.

“I have to use the restroom” y/n said and ran down the hall. 

MOMENTS LATER

“I’m sorry ab-” I started, but was cut off by y/n,

“It’s fine, just leave it alone” she muttered, writing a summary for the project; I nodded. I was being nosy and started to look around. I had a deja vu moment when,

“You looking for something?” y/n sassed, I was taken aback and just shook my head. 

Y/N’s POV

I don’t know what has gotten into me or where this wave of confidence came, but I kind of like it. Grayson actually helped on the project for once; it might of just been gluing the pages on the poster, at least he was quiet. After about half an hour of walking, Grayson announces,

“I better go home.” Right as he said that, lightening strikes and we both get an alert on our phones that read,

‘FLASH FLOOD WARNING THIS AREA TIL 11:30PM EST. AVOID FLOOD AREAS. CHECK THE LOCAL MEDIA.’

I looked out my window and just my luck, the streets looked like a lake.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I mumbled, he agreed.

“Do you have a guest room?” He asked, turning his head toward me.

“No, but you can take my bed” I offered, “I’ll sleep on the floor.” I said, getting up to get the extra blankets out of my closet. I told my mom I would never need to use them, but I can hear her in my head saying ‘I told you so!’

“No, it’s you’re ro-” He said, but I cut him off by placing my finger on his mouth, “No, you’re the guest and I swear to god if you fight me on this, I will make you swim home I don’t care.” I ranted. Jesus Christ, who let KittyMistress out? Where did this confidence come from?

"Who is this and why doesn’t she come out at school?” He joked, but there was some seriousness in it. I rolled my eyes playfully and continued to grab the blankets. If I’m sleeping on the floor, I’m going to make it as comfortable as possible.

“I’m going to change in the bathroom” I explained, “Try not to be nosy while I’m gone.” I joked and he saluted, making me giggle as I walk out of the room. After I change into a tank top and pajama shorts, I exit the bathroom and make my way towards my room. When I open the door, I see Grayson carefully running his fingers through my lingerie hanging up. You have got to be kidding me. Out of all things I have?

“What are you doing?!” I yell.

GRAYSON’s POV

I notice something lacy in the closet. Y/n’s words replay in my head, but I feel myself being drawn towards the closet. I can’t imagine y/n in something lacy or tight fitting even. I’m sure she has a nice body under all those hoodies she wears. As I approach the open closet, I see that it’s lingerie. My eyes have definitely popped out of my head. I can’t imagine y/n in stuff like this. I hear a jingle sound and see that there’s a collar with a bell on it.

‘Where have I seen this before?’ I think to myself with furrowed brows. My thoughts were interrupted by y/n,

“What are you doing?!” She yells. I’m just standing there; it can’t be her. She just rolls her eyes and snatches the lacy material out of my hands and walks away. Before my mouth can catch up with my brain I speak out,

“Mistress.” She stops dead in her tracks. Gotcha.

“What did you just say?” She asked, facing away from me.

“I had a feeling when I first came over, but I thought the mask was just a coincidence.” I explained, walking towards her; her breathing is now ragged,

“And then the texting” I whispered by her ear. She’s shivering at this point.

“Sexyboi69?” She whispered, dropping the items on the ground. I nodded with a smirk. I’ve been waiting for this moment. My fingers trailed up her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps. With her back still facing me, I slowly put my hand down her shorts and cup her pussy. Before I can feel her insides, the door knob starts to jiggle. I pull my hand out and she steps away from me.

“Hey, how are you guys?” Her mom says as she sticks her head in.

“Yeah, I was just making myself a bed on the floor” she explains, pointing to the makeshift bed. She nods while smiling and closes the door.

“The bed is big enough for the both of us” I said, smirking.

“Don’t you start with that” She jokingly replied with her finger pointing at me. I move towards her slowly and grip her wrist softly.

“I swear to god if you don’t stop looking at me like, I am going to cum in my pants.” I say as she blushes and replies,

“What look?” Like she doesn’t know. The innocent look that has every guy preying on her. It’s like my mouth has a mind of its own and next thing I knew, my lips were on hers. She was taken aback at first, but then relaxed under my touch. Our lips moved in sync and I find my hands wandering all over her body. 

“Are you sure you want to do this with a virgin?” She asks as I leave sloppy kisses on the base of her neck.

“There is nothing sexier than a virgin.” I replied and meant it. She seems to have a burst of confidence because she tossed me on the bed and straddled me. Her confidence never fails to turn me on. I pull down her tank top so that her breasts are spilling out. I begin to knead them and suck on them as her back arches and lets out a moan. 

“You are so fucking hot” I state, making my way back to her lips. My hand slides down her shorts and rubbing her clit before pumping finger in her. She moans in my ear which turns me on even more if it’s even possible at this point. Her hand is bunching up my shirt as I add another finger. 

“So tight.” I compliment and rewarded with a moan. I rub her clit with my thumb and I see her eyes roll so she must be close. Just as suspected, I feel a sticky substance coating my fingers and y/n collapses beside me.

“How was that?” I asked, laying next to her.

“What about your problem?” She asked, eyeing my very painful boner.

“As much as I would love those pretty lips around my cock, I need to be inside that pretty pussy.” I said, getting on top of her. She gasps and blushes at my words. My lips meets hers and she begins to undo my belt. 

“Why in a hurry?” I said, smirking and holding her hands down in the bed. She surprises me by flipping us over. Goddamn how is she so strong. 

“Because I’m in charge and you will address me as Mistress.” She stated, pinning my hands down.

"What are you going to do to me, Mistress?” I asked, lifting my head up from the bed. She smirks and rubs my hard cock through my jeans. I hiss and say,

“If you do that again, I am going to have a wet spot on my jeans.” She just continues to rub my dick before unbuckling my belt and sliding off my jeans, leaving me in my boxers and shirt. She gets off of me and then walks over to her drawer and digs around and pulls out what looks like a box of condoms.

“If you’re a virgin then why do you have a box of condoms?” I genuinely asked.

“What do you think?” She sarcastically replied. Her mom. I played it off with a laugh when she opened the new box and pulled out a condom. She walks over and hands it to me. I look at her confused.

“I don’t know how to put one on.” She shyly says, which makes me smile.

“Here” I say, taking the condom from her hand and taking it out of the package. I pull down my boxers and I see y/n’s eyes go wide from the side.

“Come here” I whispered, holding out my hand; which she takes and I put her back on my lap. “Give me your hands” I continued, guiding her hands on the condom to slide it down my dick.

“Is this going to fit?” She whispers

“We’ll see” I reply, flipping us so she’s beneath me, “Let me know if it’s hurt” I say and she nods. I slowly begin to push myself and see a tear run down her cheek. Y/n grabs the back of my head and begins kissing me, which is my queue to go deeper. When I’m balls deep in her, we both let out a throaty moan. 

“Please go faster” She whimpers in my neck.

“Your wish is my command” I whisper in her ear and begin thrusting at a faster pace. Her moans sounds pornographic as the sound of rain and my balls slapping fill the room. I reach my hand down to her clit and rub it in a circular motion. She starts shaking and I feel myself starting to climax. Before I knew it, I’m seeing stars and my load fills the condom. I stay in her warmth for a little longer before laying next to her and discarding the condom.

“How was that?” I asked, out of breath and facing her. She replies, still out of breath, but with a goofy smile,

“Better than porn.”