#i know nick is a pretty shit dad but they can never make me hate him!!!
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risetherivermoon · 1 year ago
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idk im just thinking abt how in ep 45 when asked for a dad memory nick says to glenn "well i have a memory you weren't there for" and he says it with resentment, and it's like you can tell he has some kind of anger towards glenn in this moment, but then after the memory plays out and theyre talking about it glenn goes on to say "but we're cool now!" and nick just agrees- like immediately
because hes angry at glenn but he cant help but just agree and listen to what he says, like how he does back before the trial arc, when glenn asks if hes cool and nick just goes like "yeah of course i am!" and gives glenn a fist bump, but hes shaking and has to hold his hand steady with his other- or when glenn asks him if hes alright after he throws the thing of acid at the bounty hunters in the dennis/mark likely ep, and nick says hes good but theres literally acid burning his hand as he says so-
idk just smth abt nick not wanting to get into his feelings, not wanting to express his discomfort or anger with his dad, and just going with pretending like its fine and everythings "cool" even as an adult,
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christhopersturniolo · 11 months ago
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୨ HOCKEY PROBLEMS ୧
summary: you have been having some problems in your relationship with Chris, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t loves you.
notes: this is my first time writing a fanfic, I've always wanted to create one since 2020. english isn't my first language, it's probably not very detailed and there might be some mistakes, so don't expect too much lol. but give me feedback tho, l'd love to know what you think!
warnings: sexual assault, cussing, fluff, about three thousand words I think.
୨୧
My relationship with my boyfriend Chris is not the best. Well, at least, not now.
Lately we’ve been arguing all day long over stupid things, like who gets the last slice of pizza, or who gets the last word in a discussion. And it always ends in the same way. Silent treatment, from both sides. But it's not like Chris or I enjoy it. Most nights, I hear him in the bathroom, where he spend hours in tears. It’s horrible and makes me feel like a piece of shit. Hearing him cry only adds to my own feelings of guilt.
And how do we make things up? Sex, over and over. He would fuck the attitude out of me if he had to.
Me and Chris made a pinky promise that I would never miss any of his Hockey games. And I never did, cause i know how much my presence is important to him. And especially cause we are always in good terms the days before any of his games, but not today, we just argued again about nothing, we haven't talked for the past two days.
Nick and Matt, Chris's brothers, usually text me and offer to pick me up for Chris's games, but this time, their texts never came. It’s like they knew how our relationship was going. Chris definitely told them something.
Now you see myself driving to the arena where he plays in, the game is about to start in 20 minutes, and with this traffic, I don’t know if I will be there in time.
Red sign for the past 5 minutes. I have cars in front of me, behind me and next to me. Fuck. I start getting anxious. My nerves are on edge. I bit my nails subconsciously, the habit I got from my dad. My leg starts shaking. I can’t mess up things even more, I gotta be there, I have to be there.
After what feels like an eternity stuck in traffic, the car in front of me finally starts moving. I let out a sigh of relief as I find a parking spot. After that, I enter the venue where Chris plays (Which wasn’t that big, cause he plays in a small team in our city.)
Before taking a seat I scan the crowd anxiously, searching for any familiar faces, no one, I can’t find anyone, not even his two brothers. “Fuck it” I mumble to myself and I just get in a seat with some random people next to me.
The game is about to start, the crowd is already cheering. The players are drinking water and getting ready to get in the rink. My eyes examine each one of them, looking for Chris, number three. He was with a serious face. ‘Are he’s eyes red?’ I think to myself as I narrow my eyes, my vision is bad as shit, but I can tell he’s eyes are all puffy. He has some big dark circles underneath his pretty blue eyes, he looks fucking exhausted, It was evident that he was crying just now.
The players finally begin to take to the ice, their skates gliding across the surface as they prepare for the game to begin.
On Chris's team, there are six talented players, used to winning every single game. However, this time, they were against a really good team. Chris hated that team. I hated that team. Well, not really the team, but one of the players: Cam, Cameron.
Cam is a completely fucking jerk, in college he would always try to hit on me, but I’ve never really went with his face, what would get on his nerves, especially when I started dating Chris. It went to the point where he would force me to have intimate things with him. He was the worst human alive, and I would do anything to see him dead.
FLASHBACK
I just had PE, finding myself alone in the girls locker room as I change clothes. The sound of the front door opening echoed, followed by quiet footsteps creeping up behind me, sending shivers down my spine. I try to ignore it.
As I slipped my shirt back on, I felt two hands grip the sides of my hips, and a warm breath brushed against my neck. I freeze for two seconds. I know this is not Chris. Without thinking, I instinctively push the hands away and I turn around quickly, only to come face to face with Cameron.
I glare at him, my heart racing with a mix of fear and anger. His smirk widens as he takes a step closer, invading my personal space. "What's the rush, sweetheart?" He whispers, his voice dripping with arrogance.
I take a step back feeling the wall behind me getting closer "What are you even doing here? Get the fuck away from me, Cameron" I say firmly, trying to sound like i’m not scared, but the reality is that I’m pissing my pants.
He chuckles like he’s making fun of me, his eyes glinting with malice. "Or what? You'll tell your precious boyfriend Chris?" He teases, moving closer until I can feel his breath on my face. grabbing my waist and pinning them against the wall. "Come on, babe, you know you want it as much as I do.." he affirms, leaning in to kiss me, touching his lips on mines.
“Get the fuck away!” I whisper yell as i try to punch him away but he grabs my wrists. I struggle against his hold, but his grip tightens, his fingers digging into my skin, definitely leaving red marks.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t move. I start panicking. This is my end.
Tears blur my vision as I plead "Cameron, stop!" My voice trembles with fear as he kisses me, his lips rough and demanding against mine. Each kiss is a painful reminder of my vulnerability. Each kiss feels like a violation. I feel dirty, tainted by his touch everywhere in my body. A wave of nausea churns in the pit of my stomach as I try to move him away from me.
"Stop fucking fighting, you are not getting away from me" He murmurs against my lips "You deserve this, you want this.” I try to move as he keeps pinning me "You think I don’t see the eyes you give me when I walk by? Huh slut?" He scoffs, his hot breath against my face. "You were begging for this."
“I wasn’t begging for any of this. I never gave him any ‘eyes,’ he’s fucking delusional!” I think to myself, but my words remain trapped in my throat, suffocated.
As his lips travel down to my neck, leaving a trail of unwanted kisses, I can’t do anything more than start crying and screaming, kicking my legs and arms.
I never went back to those lockers again.
END OF THE FLASHBACK
I hated him so fucking much, and Chris did even more. And now, they are about to compete against each other.
The moment Chris stepped onto the rink, I could see his eyes looking for someone known on the crowd. Desperately, I raised my hand and waved, hoping he would spot me. And he did. His face automatically softened into a gentle smile, erasing some of the tension that had been weighing on me, but he was still with his tired eyes.
The game started with an intensity that matched the tension in the air. Both teams were determined to win. Cameron eyes were burning with rage. At this point, they weren’t competing as a team, it wasn’t about the game, it was about their personal life.
As the game progressed, the rivalry between them two escalated. They began to argue on the ice, each vying for control of the puck with increasing aggression.
Chris managing to gain possession of the puck and score two goals in less than five minutes. But Cam, folded by his own anger, refused to back down. Without thinking he charged towards him at full speed. Cameron swung his stick, causing Chris to trip and fall hard onto the ice.
“What the fuck is he doing?” I say out loud as I get up from my seat to get a better view. Chris remained on the ground for what felt like an eternity, clearly in pain. Every player on the ice stopped and looked around confused without knowing what to do, but not Cameron. He keeps going with the puck in direction to make a goal, with a visible smile on his lips. But then he notices how everyone really stopped and he slows down too, annoyed, not showing any regret.
The thing is, my boyfriend is in a fetal position on the ice, unable to move and no one is doing anything about it? That’s not happening, not with Chris. Without a second thought, I get up from my seat, whispering apologies to those I brushed past as I made my way to the rink. Ignoring the stares and comments from the crowd, I stepped onto the ice, my focus solely on reaching Chris. I get in the rink. I don’t give a shit about who’s watching me.
Kneeling beside Chris. His nose was bleeding, he looked pale and disoriented. Gently, I placed a hand on his shoulder, my voice trembling with concern. "Chris" I whisper, my voice shaking "Are you okay? Please look at me..” I beg in a desperate tone
Chris struggled to respond, his voice barely above a whisper as he fought through the pain "Y-Yeah.. I’m fine.." His eyes half-closed in discomfort.
Suddenly, the sound of approaching footsteps drew my attention, and I glanced up to see some of the players from both teams getting around us, their expressions a mix of confusion and concern. Sensing the seriousness of the situation, a few of them hurried off to get help, while others stood by, unsure of what to do.
“Is he okay?” One of Chris's teammates asked as he knelt beside me, his voice filled with worry.
My anxiety spiked at the sight of Chris's condition, and I couldn't help but let my frustration show. "No, he’s not!" I replied, my voice unintentionally louder than intended. "Don’t you guys have nurses or some kind of medical staff here?!"
The teammate glanced back at me, his expression uncertain. "Yeah, I’m pretty sure they're on their way, don’t worry, he will be fine” He said sounding unsure.
I gently place Chris head on my lap, whispering sweet and calming words on his ear while we wait for someone help us. What I was saying was comforting me more than Chris.
Finally the arena's medical staff arrived, urging us to clear the area around Chris. They place him on a stretcher and wheeling him out of the rink. As they took Chris away, I followed closely behind them, my steps quickening to keep pace with their hurried movements. "Hey, excuse me," I called out to one of the workers, my voice tinged with desperation "Is it okay if I stay with him?" But they seemed way too focused on their task, ignoring me completely as they rushed Chris to a small emergency room they had here, leaving me behind on the hallway, my heart pounded with worry and frustration. But before I could even process what was happening, a familiar voice cut through the silence. I turn around,
Cameron.
"Look who it is" He says, his gaze fixated on me with an unsettling intensity. "Never thought I'd see you here, playing the concerned girlfriend” He chuckles.
My blood boiled at his words, the memories of his unwanted advances and aggressive behavior flooding back with nauseating clarity. "You're sick, Cameron." My voice trembling with rage “You can’t even stand losing a fucking game, you are insane.” I stay some seconds in silence before talking again "You better stay the hell away from me and Chris."
Cameron's smirk widened, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction as he reveled in my discomfort. "Or what?" He teases, taking a step closer "You gonna hit me? Huh?” He talks in a mocking way
I raised my hand and delivered a good slap on his left cheek, the sound echoing through the empty hallway. "I fucking hate you!" I yell, my voice trembling with rage as I glared at him with undisguised contempt.
Before Cameron could react, the sound of approaching footsteps coming in our attention, and I glanced up to see some of Chris's teammates rushing towards us, their expressions a mix of concern and confusion.
"What's going on here?" The same blonde guy with a four in his shirt asks, his voice tinged with urgency as he eyed Cameron with suspicion.
"Nothing," he muttered, attempting to regain his composure, "I was just.. checking on Chris. But the workers said we have to wait, and unfortunately, I've got somewhere else to be." Cameron lies, fuck he’s good at lying.
He gets closer to me, placing his hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently. “I hope he gets better” He said in a fake nice tone, like he means it, I move his hand away from me, making him get slightly angry again, he leaves. I watch him go, feeling a sense of relief wash over me knowing that he was finally out of here.
Turning back to Chris's teammate, I say “Anyways..” I take a deep breath “I will just wait here until they say something”
The blonde one nods understanding. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan to me” He replies, his voice filled with sympathy “So, the game was canceled, and we got shit to do, so we can’t really wait here”
“Yeah sure, no problem, I understand” I respond, I try to sound so nice as he is sounding “I'll make sure Chris texts you guys after he leaves the room.”
Chris's teammate nodded appreciatively and they all began to leave to the same direction as Cameron. I sit into a chair next to the door where Chris was, my mind racing thinking about Chris.
Some good ten minutes after, one of the workers is leaving the room, I look up at him, catching his attention. “Excuse me,” I begin, my voice laced with anticipation “can I see Chris?”
He nods, offering a small smile. “Of course, go ahead” He replies kindly before disappearing down the hallway.
Before I enter the room, I take a few deep breaths to control my anxiety. Knocking gently on the door, I slowly open it. He was sitting in a long bench with elastic bandage on his ankle and wrist. Chris's eyes light up at the moment he sees me and a warm smile spreads across his face.
“Shit Chris, I just slapped Cameron in the face!” I say as I close the door behind me. Chris immediately starts laughing. his laugh is contagious. I sit down next to him. “You did not” He keeps laughing
“What’s so funny? I’m being serious” I chuckle, feeling the tension ease from my mind as Chris's laughter fills the room.
"I'm sorry, babe" he says between laughs "But when was that?”
“Literally like fifteen minutes ago! Gosh he’s so fucking annoying! And did you see the way he literally made you fall on purpose? I could break his face right now” I say in a dramatic tone, making him laugh even more.
“Anyways he doesn’t matter..” I look around thinking about what to say “So what did the nurses say?”
Chris's laughter subsides as he leans back against the bench, his expression growing more serious “Nothing much.. I just sprained my foot and my wrist, but nothing much”
“Nothing much?!” I say slightly shocked with his words.
Chris chuckles softly, shaking his head at my reaction. "Okay, maybe it's a bit more than 'nothing much,' but I'll survive" He says with a reassuring smile, though I can see the pain behind his eyes.
I gently reach his injured hand, my thumb tracing comforting circles on the back of his hand. "I'm just glad it's nothing too serious," I say softly, my voice filled with genuine concern. "But still, I can't believe Cameron did that to you! He's such a pussy!" My last sentence makes Chris laugh again.
As I watch him, a sense of relief washes over me, knowing that despite everything, we are still able to find humor in the situation.
Some minutes talking until the silence fills back the room. We are definitely both thinking about the argument we had days ago, cause we didn’t talked since.
“I.. I wasn’t expecting for you to watch the game today” Chris says slightly looking down.
I stay in silence for some seconds “Listen, Chris" I begin, my voice soft but determined "About the arguments we've been having lately.. I know things haven't been the best.. But..” I sigh “But I still care about you, and I always will.”
Chris looks up at me, his eyes softening with emotion as he listens to my words. "I care about you too" He says, his voice filled with sincerity. "I hate that we've been arguing so much, especially over stupid shit.. I just.. I don't want to lose you.”
A small smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I reach out to gently cup his cheek. "You're not going to lose me, Chris." I assure him. My thumb brushing over his skin affectionately.
He gently buries his face on the crook of my neck, I lay my chin on the top of his head, and I wrap my arms around him, holding him close.
"I'm sorry for everything," Chris murmurs against my skin. "I don't want us to keep fighting like this."
Now I run my fingers through his hair, feeling a sense of peace settle over us. "I'm sorry too.." My voice sounding like a whisper. "Let's try to work through this together, okay?" He nods softly.
I kiss his head “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He answers quietly.
୨୧
hey, this is the end! i hope you have enjoyed it, if u saw any miss spelling or anything tell me in the comments, please.
also, i think it got kinda confusing cause i was using words on the past and in the present, but idk 😭😭
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bambi-slxt · 8 months ago
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I’ve been feeling really down lately so would you mind writing something real fluffy with either chris x reader or matt x reader and it’s about how playful they are together and they’re always teasing and tickling each other and stuff like that.
Just something real cute, love your writing btw!!
of course, honey <3 a/n at the bottom
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playful!matt & playful!chris:
✨a concept✨
making dinner -
chris: definitely dancing around the kitchen and being exactly zero help. "come on," he yaps, grinning his cute stupid little grin, "dance with me, pretty girl, the pasta can wait." "chris!" you can't help but giggle at the kid. "wanna dance with my lady." his smile is almost too big for his face, and your heart feels tight.
matt: does everything he can to distract you while simultaneously assuming an air of utter and absolute innocence. "i don't know what you're talking about," he says, slipping behind you and pinching your side, rolling his eyes at what he believes is an incredible overreaction from you.
going thrifting -
chris: tries to scare you by hiding in the racks like you haven't been watching him the entire time, only to be disappointed when you're not startled in the slightest. "but...but..." he grumbles, hanging off your shoulders, arms wrapped dejectedly around your neck, "i tried so hard."
matt: "what do you mean, 'don't get the grand-dad shirt'? this is the peak of fashion!"
the shirt in question:
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movie night -
chris: resorts to assailing you with tickling when he doesn't get his way. "i wanna - mmfh - watch The Lion - fuck! - King, so we're gonna fuckin' watch - you motherfucker - The Lion - GET BACK HERE!"
matt: keeps trying to drown his face in your tummy instead of watching whatever's put on the tv. "it's just so cozy." his words are incredibly muffled. "you begged me for three days to watch this with you." "mmfh. gimme head scratches." "you're such a baby." "i love youuuuu."
beach day -
chris: insists on playing mermaids ("wait how come you get the sparkly tail. i'm the merman king, i should get the sparkly tail."), lifeguards ("okay, okay, pretend you're like, drowning, yeah. why? so i can be a hero and save you! duh."), and terraforming the beach itself ("it'll be good for a tiktok, yeah, just dig the trench all the way up there by the towels, and then we can divert all the water away from here and-").
matt: hunts all morning for shells for you and teaches himself to braid so he can string them in your hair. he ends up tangling things more than he produces actual results, but is very careful to undo his mistakes and reapply sunscreen on your shoulders. "and here i thought you hated the beach." "i despise the beach," he says cheerfully, closing yet another ziploc baggie filled to the brim with shells. "can't wait to go home." "liar." matt smiles against your neck, his chest pressing into your back. "yeah, maybe."
farmer's market -
chris: conveniently forgets how much he hates fruits and vegetables because, "they just look so, like...anasthetic. that's the word right?" "nope." "anta...antacid? anna..." "aesthetic?" "that's the bitch, look at these strawberries, they're fucking huge-" "you let the strawberries nick bought last week grow mold in the fridge!" chris grins. "what's your point?"
matt: more focused on petting the dogs people brought with them than looking at the actual stalls with products/goods. "who's a good boy, yeah you are, hey babe we should get a dog, oh my god, you're just the sweetest lil' guy-"
night out:
chris: never lets you walk on the outside of the sidewalk and always stops to listen to the musicians through the bars' flung-wide windows. "baby, look, his guitar's got flames on the side. oh shit, you cold? hey, come here, kid," he chuffs, gathering you under his arm, dulcet harmonies flowing from the bar into the soft night air. "i love you," he murmurs, his lips fluttering against the shell of your ear. "i love bein' out here with ya."
matt: gently hands his finger from the belt loop of your jeans, guiding you lightly through the crowds, watching your face light up at the sights and sounds around you. "holy shit, they're so drunk!" "yeah," he says softly. he couldn't care less about a single other thing in this moment - how would he, when the sparkling neon of the nighttime scene washed over your features?
ice-cream date -
chris: plans to get something to share and refuses to hear anything to the contrary, grinning at all attempts to sway him. "yeah, she'll have - quit it - that one over there, please - i'll tickle you right here in public, i swear to god i will - yeah, thanks - miss lady you better watch it-" "...okay, this is pretty good." he scrunches his nose quite cutely in lieu of a verbal response, shoveling spoonfuls into his mouth.
matt: does literally everything he can to get you to make a mess just so he can do the cliche 'wipe ice cream from your lip' move. "i'm a classy guy, alright, leave me alone," he says with a grin.
cleaning day -
chris: CAUTION- may actually flat-out refuse. "we could just stay in bed though," he grumbles, holding your arm hostage. "we gotta cleannnn..." "nahhhh, come back to me." in a sudden burst of energy, he tugs you all the way back onto him, rolling you onto the mattress and under the blanket in one fell movement.
matt: shuffles your favorite playlist, turns it up, and dances with a feather duster you didn't even know he owned. "WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?" "STOLE IT FROM NICK'S ROOM. COME ON, WE GOTTA DUST!"
grocery shopping -
chris: has a cart and a dream, and is infinitely more focused on you than actually locating the necessary items. "you want it? yes, mamas," he chuckles, "get whatever you want. yeah i mean it. that's what you want for dinner? okay," he shrugs, his downturned smile making his dimples show up and show out, "i'll make ya whatever you want."
matt: has a list and a plan, both of which quickly crumble as he finds it impossible to resist your impulse-purchasing. "no, baby, we gotta..." - long-suffering sigh - "we already have...yes we do, they're at home in your drawer...what do you mean, 'they're all gone', how did you...okay, well chris isn't SUPPOSED to eat your fucking snacks-"
vlogging -
chris: "okay guys, so i'm gonna take her to build-a-bear but it's gonna be a surprise so don't- HEY YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE YET-" the camera falls onto the couch as a blurry image of you and chris rolling around on the floor fades into view. his hat flies off and his weird, goofy laugh fills the living room.
matt: "hey guys >:|" "tell them :)" "i'm fuckin' getting there. so i said last time that i would never do this stupid wheel of punishments again, but someone convinced me-"
makeup/facials -
chris: "this feels colllld. i'm only doing this cuz i love u. what's this one supposed to do? the last one said it was gonna clean out my pores or something, and this one...'just looks cute', huh? i'm gonna fUCKING-" he launches off his bathroom counter and tackles you onto his bed in a flurry of kisses and tickles
matt: "i think i look great with eyeliner actually. what is it larray says, cunty? do i look cunty? why are you laughing?"
cuddle time -
chris: "absolutely not. come here mamas. you're not goin' anywhere, it's rainin' outside, an' i know you're still tired...come on, i miss ya already..." he smiles as you oh-so-reluctantly nestle back into the covers he holds up for you. "atta girl. stay here til' you die." "chris what the fuck." "that was romantic!" "...sure it was honey. sure it was." his laugh makes you roll your eyes, but the peppered kisses that follow make you smile in spite of yourself. "i love you...you know that, right?" "i had an idea, yeah." he tugs you into his body with a playful growl. "shut up."
matt: simply locks his legs around yours so you couldn't leave even if you wanted to. he traces lazy shapes on the back of your hand and his breath fans down over your neck. "miss girl..." "hm?" "were you aware that i loved you?" "ohmygoddoyoureally?" matt's hold tightens and his low chuckle rumbles through your skin. "you're terrible."
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request to be on the taglist under this post right here
tags: @pinksturniolo @malirosee @st7rnioioss @nonat-111 @cindylcuwho @evie-sturns @h3arts4harry @fanficsbymia @dazednmatthews @sturniolo-rat @mattsmad @sturniolo04 @bellasturn @blahbel668 @yomamaslays4lyfe @stasiesturn @pleasantlycrazyworld @ariqolyx @wh0resstuff @krissy4gov @coochiedestroyer1 @solarsturniolo 
notes from bambi:
thank you for the request anon! i'm so sorry this took so long but i hope it was at least somewhat worth the wait, and i hope things get back on track for you soon <3
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storiesofsvu · 5 months ago
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Do you like Cragen as the sergeant better or Olivia?
That's kind of a tough one.. but here are my thoughts.
To preface: some of my opinions are PURELY based on the fact that we have sat and watched Olivia's career for 25 years. We've seen her as the rookie detective and make her way up. We've ONLY seen Cragen as the captain, so we don't know his history like we do LIv's.
Cragen was a *fantastic* captain IMO. He was the "dad" that the squad needed. He was relatively neutral when it came to conflict situations, knowing that cases needed to be solved/investigations run smoothly, efficient, and LEGALLY.
He always helped his team *and* helped the ADA. Alex was the daughter he never had, you can't tell me otherwise. He keeps gin(maybe vodka?) in his office and only ever offers it to her. THE MAN IS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC. so that alone says a lot. When Zapata comes after her, he signs his old revolver over to her and makes sure she knows how to use it. He wasn't as close with Casey, but in moments where her emotions were starting to show, he was the one to go comfort her/urge her back to the case.
He had a fantastic relationship with *all* of his detectives/squad and knew how to toe the fine line between personal relationships and being their boss.
Now, onto Olivia. It's been very different watching her grow. I can't fully remember when she moved up the ranks...she became the sarge around s15? maybe 16? she HAD to be liue by 17 cause thats when dodds shows up.
I think she's a decent commanding officer. But she has plenty of flaws when it comes to holding that title. And now, Cragen likely went through some similar struggles as he grew into the role, managing is hard (i would know..).
1st: she holds personal grudges and relationships above specific things. She's also rather rude and unwelcoming to a LOT of new people. That can trace back to her abandonment issues and Elliot leaving, she's a straight up cunt to amanda in s13 and pretty rude to nick at first (she also does nothing but fight with casey and alex in their later seasons.. seriously).
She ALWAYS has issues with the lawyers, as captain she should be smoothing out those bickering moments between her squad at the ada, but instead she's the one instigating and HOLDING that grudge with a stick up her ass. She hates most lawyers until/unless they're doing exactly what she wants. Like, it DOESNT matter if the lawyer is literally doing their job, or prosecuting a case in what should be the right manner, she still takes it out on them and she makes a VERY low blow a lot of the time. She takes EVERYTHING personal when it comes to them doing their job, she doesn't see eye to eye with them and she *refuses* to hear them out or even try to THINK about it from their perspective.
2nd: she doesnt treat her team equally or fairly imo. I know equality comes with proving your worth so like, teasing carisi when he first shows up is one thing, but shouldn't you want people to feel WELCOME in the place that you're in charge of?
similarly, she holds so many people on her team accountable for shit that she either did (and got ZERO repercussions for) in the past, or things like DEMANDING muncy go buy a blazer and smarten up her wardrobe meanwhile velasco's sitting there using an undone wrinkled button up as his blazer?? she's generally not very nice to her at all. not to mention OLIVIA was the one who poached muncy?? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.
okay that got away from me and in no way was this meant to turn into an Olivia Benson hate post because I DO like her, but it appears like her better as a detective? LOL.
i think she is fantastic with victims, with helping them, supporting them and making sure they get the closure and such that they need.
I also honestly like 1.0 Liv WAY better. 2.0 we got some good moments and banter and bestie relationship with Barba (we also got a LOT of fighting and not seeing eye to eye) but that was about it. Between the shitty writing, performance lacking and constant switch up of the team in like... s18-22... it just didn't end up working out well for her.
I DO think she's a good leader, but i think she has a lot of progress she could make. Take a look at Ayanna over at OC, or Kate over on OG (ugh i miss her already). you have to understand the politics of the job to be in that position and i just don't think she fully gets that? i dunno.
NOW IM RAMBLING AND ITS 4 AM AND IM SURE IM GONNA GET HATE FOR THIS LOL
hope it was worth it anon LOL
<3
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chocolatechimsugakookie2 · 2 years ago
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My headcanons about each 4*Town member 😜
Jesse
Full name: Jesse Coleson Smith
Born and raised in San Francisco
Birthday: July 1
Age: 22
Height: 6’2
Only speaks English, but knows some German because of his grandmother.
Is learning Korean mainly because of Tae
Has an older sister (24)
Graduated high school early at age 17 which is also the age he had his kids.
Once he graduated early, he started going to art school.
Left art school to debut in 4*Town
Fears: hates snakes, and not knowing what is going on with his kids
Favorite food/snack(s): cheeseburgers, Oreos, kiwi, steak, MACAROONS, Hershey bars (with almonds), nachos, and etc.
Makes amazing burgers! He is very proud of his burger making skills “Yo Jess! Put some burgers on the grill!”
100% wears a “kiss the chef” apron for the shits and giggles
Cooking skills: 10/10
How scary when angry: 7/10 it truly depends on what happened to get a scary Jesse! He is the type to talked his anger out through gritted teeth
Played lacrosse
Good at American football
Can do more than pottery!! Makes great paintings
Good at surfing
Likes hiking and rock climbing
Pretty tech-savvy
Can play all types of guitars extremely well. Also the piano.
When he makes decisions or say certain things that shows he can be the mature oldest or just talking in general, the members say things like “yes father”. “okay dadddd”. “Father Jess is at it again”. “He swear he somebody’s dad”
Plays video games like a religion with Tae and Aaron T (sometimes all the member)
Likes giving the members ugly/stank looks just for fun
Favorite animals are elephants and pandas
Road rage 9/10 baby is a slight honker and yeller!!when it happens it’s surprising every time to the members because they don’t expect it. “I had the fucking right of way you damn dumbass!!” “CHOOSE A FUCKING LANE”
Not lactose, but prefers Almond milk (like me🙂)
Nicknames: Jess, old man, gramps, Mr. Dilf, Uncle Jesse, Nick Carter (Aaron T’s lil joke), and etc.
Robaire
Full name: Robaire Louis Beaumont
Born and raised in Toronto
Would go back and forth to France
Birthday: March 12
Age: 20
Height: 5’11
Speaks French, Haitian Creole, and English.
Mom: Haitian, Dad: from Lyon, France
A younger brother (16), and a older brother (23)
Fears: he thinks he will never find actual love and trypophobia
Favorite food/snack(s): chicken Alfredo/shrimp Alfredo, COOKIES, peaches, hibachi, Red velvet cake,  snickers, Reeses, and etc.
There is not a day when Ro doesn’t say “can we go get some cookies or something”
Makes a great variety of pastas.
Will make a small dish of spaghetti ever now and then because T lovessss spaghetti “Ro! Hey Ro! My favorite homie! Did you know you’re like the best in the group!!” “Yeahhh mhmm, what do you want from me?” “……..Can you make me spaghetti”
Cooking skills rated 8.5/10
How scary when angry 8/10 kind of like Jesse, it depends on what happened to get scary Ro, but will have no problem going off
Can play rugby
Good at American football
Is pretty decent at painting
Ran track
Good at piano and an acoustic guitar
Sometimes is Aaron Zs workout buddie
When it’s time to be the leader the members do take him serious; however, when he is just talking and says the “I am being serious” nobody ever takes him serious! Especially with the facial expressions he makes.
Like going for walks to clear his mind
Flips off Z just for the hell of it
Favorite animals are probably giraffes and lions
Road rage: 5/10 he is more of a “come on man!”
Nicknames: Ro, Bear (Baire), RoRo, bitch (from Aaron Z of course), big shot, and etc.
Aaron T
Full name: Aaron Diego Alejandro Juan Torrez
Born in New Jersey (had a big fight deciding on choosing either Arizona, Miami, or The Bronx)
Moved to Florida when he was 7, but moved back to Jersey at 10.
Birthday: October 30
Age: 19
Height: 5’11
Loves holding that he is two months older over Zs head
Speaks Spanish and English
Mom: Colombian Dad: Mexican
Has a twin younger sister and brother (17) and two older sisters (23) and (25)
Fears: he is afraid of losing memories and what lurks in the dark.
Favorite food/snack(s): SPAGHETTI, pocky, twizzlers, mangoes, kit-kats, Takis, s’mores, beef jerky, honey buns (specifically the big ones from like vending machines not little debbie)
Will go to the gas station at anytime to get a bag of takis
Cooking skill 9/10 is actually a really great cook if he doesn’t make a mistake and causes a fire!
Can make a variety of great Hispanic dishes that he mainly learned from his momma and some his dad
The members was scared when it was T’s turn to cook for the first time, but that quickly vanished when they saw how good he actually is, “wow… this actually looks good”, “damn T I am impressed”, “whoaaaa this actually taste good”, “you sure you didn’t buy takeout and set it up nicely?”
How scary when angry: 9/10 now I see T as a guy who does not like confrontation or any negative conflict that comes!! However, hitting the wrong buttons you will get a smart mouth T especially when it comes to ignorant interviewers! When T is angry he switches languages every second and the words are never kind. He sometimes gets the “I am pissed” tears running down, so yeah he mad mad
Has ADHD
Amazing at drums and keyboard
Mens gymnastics
Can play soccer and Baseball
Likes doing parkour
Loves swimming
Amazing at skateboarding (dude literally owns every type of board! Long board, penny board, etc)
Gets scolded by Everyone except Tae when he does flips in the house. (Tae is the one who eggs him on to do them)
Road rage: 10/10 mans is cussing like a damn sailor, flipping people off, and honking the horn like a clown. Afterwards he continues driving calmly with a smile like it never happened “THAT WAS SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT BRO” “PENDEJO” “HOW YOU EVEN GET A DAMN LICENSES” “Me personally, I don’t mind hitting people🙂”
Favorite animals: Capybaras, wolves, dogs, and flamingos
Nicknames: Ron, Taaron, Aaron number 1, Ronnie, ugly (from Jesse), Diego, etc.
Aaron Z
Full name: Aaron Zao
Born and raised in Houston Texas
Birthday: December 18
Age 19
Height: 6’5
speaks Mandarin and English
Mom: Black, Dad: Chinese
A younger sister (5), and an older brother (23)
Fears: The Ocean. Don’t get confused the boy loves the beach and swimming! He just thinks about how no one really knows much about the ocean and what’s truly in it and the fact on how deep it goes.
Favorite food/snack(s): Seafood Boil, PANCAKES, Cap’n Crunch, Slim Jim’s, Gatorades, chocolate milk, Takis, BBQ chips, granola bars, hi-chews, and etc
He lovesss a good seasoned seafood boil!! He has expensive but good taste 😌
Cooking skills: 7.5/10
Now Z can grill like a boss, similar to Jesse but more on the other meats than burgers. Can make amazing lo mein, fried rice, egg rolls, etc, He can cook seafood, but he doesn’t cook often so that’s why it’s a 7.5. “Z…” “no” “wait Please” “what” “I just wanted some egg rolls 🥹” “ you know how to make them too bruh” “please” “…fine”
BIG pancake fan!!! Especially when Jesse or Robaire makes them!! 🤌🏾✨chefs kiss
Jesse: What do y’all want for breakfast?
Tae: I think we should have-
Z: Pancakes😐
Tae: …
Tae: I said I think we should have-
Z: pancakes😑
T: well I want waffles
Z: *death stare*
T: *gulps*
Ro: I guess we’re having pancakes then
How scary when angry: 10/10 I’m telling you the looks he gives when he is mad is a look no one wants! He will be calm with that look which means he is over and done! When he is yelling he will say shit that hurts and cuss up a storm
Amazing at basketball
Will play One on one with any member and break their ankles
Also good at track
Goes for morning jogs/run with a different member almost every morning
Plays acoustic and piano
Also can do a few flips! Learned them to add to his dance moves
He is really good at drawing and gets kind of shy when people tell him
Loves Nike
Loves driving his car at night (gets scolded for it though)
Will play Video games if he has time
Road Rage: 6/10 he is a “yo man what the fuck you doing” “Hit the damn car! I dare you” “carry yo punk ass on” “get out the street with yo Jay-walking ass”
Favorite animal: Rhinos, Dinosaurs, Hawks, and cheetahs.
Nicknames: Air, Zaaron, Michael Jordan (From Tae), Jack the skeleton (everyone), Tree-man, stone, and etc.
Taeyoung
Full name: Choi Taeyoung (in Korea you write the last name first incase someone doesn’t know😁)
Born and Raised in Daegu, Korea
Lived in Seoul from age 10-12
Birthday September 20 (Virgo power✨)
Age: 18
Height 5’10 (he will be 6’0 when he is 21)
Speaks Korean and English
Has an older brother (27)
Tae is an uncle because his brother has a 3 year old son
Fears: ending up alone and heights (even tho he loves roller coasters)
Favorite food/snack(s): Tteok-bokki, French fries, CAKE, pocky, cherries, strawberries, kimchi fried rice, fried chicken, churros, Bibimbap, and etc.
“Is someone one’s birthday come up?” “No” “Not that I know of” “I don’t think so man” “No why?” “Just wanted an excuse to buy cake” “oh” “I’m going to buy it anyway though🤷🏻‍♂️”
Cooking skills 100/10
Tae is an amazing cook specifically with Korean dishes!!
His specialties are definitely Samgyeopsal, Tteok-bokki, Gimbap, kimchi, and Bulgolgi. “Hey Tae do you mind doing Korean Bbq for dinner? Jesse said he’ll help.” “Yeah! I got y’all”
Exceptional at piano
Great at soccer
Pretty good at American football which shocked everyone
Extremely tech-savvy this man can hack things I swear 
Started painting his nails because he like how cool the rockstars looked with it
Wont hesitate to talk about someone in Korean
Was training to be in a K-pop group at age 11-12 but begged his parents to let him audition for the boy group he heard his peers talking about in California
Self taught himself English! started at the age of 10 He became fully fluent by age 13
He still had a accent while speaking til age 15 but now it comes and goes
Use to call the other members hyung a lot by accident when they first met, but they gotten use to it so he sometimes still does it (hyung is what a younger male would call an older male who’s either is his actual brother or is like his brother (as in close friends).
Loves video games
How scary when angry: 11/10 Please do not underestimate the youngest! He will tell someone off in a hot minute and keep a grudge until he feels like it (only if you really did him dirty). Yes he is a very sweet boy but making him mad is not something to play with because he will mean every word he says! Don’t test his patience he has a 3 strike warning.
Road Rage: 7.5 he is quite the shit talker! “I will run over you”. “널 때리는 걸 망설이지 않을 거야, 멍청아.” “THE LIGHT IS GREEN WOMAN”. “바보”
Favorite animals: Birds! Specifically Doves and Peacocks, cats, dogs, tigers, bears, basically all animals at this point.
Nicknames: Tae, Chef Boyardee (from T), Tae-Tae, Youngie, Gremlin (everyone), ankle biter (Jesse), and etc.
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pollyna · 2 years ago
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Navy regs are in books that quote books that quote books. Ron has all of them somewhere in the house, with Tom's precise handwriting pointing out all the spelling issues and doing the theoretical maths his degree didn't help him to understand. In a less neat calligraphy, in some pages, Nick's notes are mixed with doodles and his own notes. Of Annapolis he will forever remember the heat and the hours in class, before their callsigns, when Nick used to make him late because he had to kiss him one minute more and Tom had the most convenient, and convicing, excuse for them.
(Maybe he could find some of those books and show them to Bradley the next time he's going to come around. He could probably appreciate them? Or maybe he should ask Maverick?)
Regs say no tattoo, but regs say a lot of shit Ice used to correct back then and that he corrected during the years. Regs say no tattoos, and Tom said they were stupid, so Ron got his first, then his second, and half of his right sleeve. The only people who know of them are his friends, his doctors, his mirror and his tattoo artist. Having to wear a shirt all day, and a jacket for most of it, has its advantages, even if he fucking hates being an admiral most of the time. But it's almost time; another couple of years, and he's going to retire and never again put a foot on a Navy base.
The studio isn't the biggest in town, but Ron knows the artist and their dad, and they are both the best for what he needs. He's so focused on the piece of paper between his hands that he almost misses two young women saluting him, with a half-panicked Adrmial Kerner, sir!
At ease, Lieutenants, glad to see someone knows where to get good ones. He smiles because he knows they shouldn't be there, but he shouldn't be either, so it's not really a problem. He's going to add something when something, someone, hugs his leg and has all his attention. Oh, who do we have here? George? You're so big now, boy! he picks up the kid. Mom is waiting for you! he points towards one of the rooms, and, in less than five steps he takes, George tells him all he can fit in, and it's a lot.
(Ron finds himself wondering if Bradley was the same at that age.)
So you're already back for the next piece, uhuh? a voice asks. You know, I can't live without you, hon, he answers, laughing loudly. They laugh with him, but it dies when he passes them the piece of paper. I'm so sorry, Ron, they murmur, and he finds himself smiling lightly, trying not to cry again, thank you Carly.
He takes off his jacket and then his shirt, and his right arm is colorful but not whole. Are you ready, big guy? they smile, dipping the tattoo gun in the red ink as ready as I was the first time he answers. Carly draws and talks, asking questions about the kid (he's a man now and he's almost as tall as me), about the kids (if they destroyed the base while I was gone, at least they're going to let me retire), about Tom and there, Ron has to take a breath because it fucking hurts. He doesn't know if it's the point they're working on or missing Tom or both, but he has to ask Carly to stop for a minute. (He was-the last few days were the hardest. Did you know he used to write mathematical formulas when he was bored during lessons? He and Nick were good friends, Tom was the reason behind the Mother Goose. I miss him. I miss them all Carly). Almost five hours have passed by the time it's done, and by that point they're humming random songs and listening to the description of the rock George found outside his school that same morning. All done, Admiral. You already know what you have to do, right? I'd like to see you next week to check on some of the edges around the elbow, but it's already looking pretty great. Ron barely hears her because he's so intent on looking at his arm, where now Tom's name is adorning his arm, just inches away from Nick and Carole's. Yeah, yeah whenever you want Carl'.
(It's seven in the evening and the cemetery is empty. The bouquet is a happy one, and his shirt leaves are already up. It's done, I finally finished it. He starts and you're here all together now. I miss both of you. I hope Tom's there too. I hope you're all okay now.)
The regs say no tattoos, and Tom said fuck 'em all, and now they are all there while he flies and teaches and lives another day, under his uniform and out in the open.
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thoughtsandfiction · 2 years ago
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Thoughts I had watching GG S2 E5
So we're really doing this affair thing? The spirit of Serena lives on
Sir, where is your wife??!
I thought her mum couldn't afford this place. Did we resolve this??.... You know what, don't tell me.
TWINCEST! 😂😂 Will never get over this
Who is this person?
Oh right, Obie has a sister and mother he hates because they haven't figured out how to be ethical billionaires, and that's a thing I'm sure he believes exists
I don't remember the dress....... should I remember the dress? Was it a moment?.. Well if I have to ask....
This feels like a conversation for ...not here
They're trying a lot harder to make me believe these people are longtime friends and I appreciate that
What are these teachers....... you know what? No. Don't engage. just hold your breath and let it pass
Why does it feel like Nick and Julien are co-parenting Zoya?
Wow... the casual biphobia. How very Real O'Neals of them
Is every storyline about these 3 going to be about the insecurities stemming from this relationship?
I said I wouldn't engage but, it's Georgina right? The blackmailer is Georgina?
Look at Shan, sneaking liquor, like a child with parents who set limits....... a nice little moment
"We're never boring," guess that gene skipped Obie
Julien, this could've, SHOULD'VE, been a text
"...For Z"?? For Z?! Baby you are not her mum!
What does this man want from Julien? Get a job! Stay away from her! Call your wife!
These adults need to READ THE ROOM
Call her? Like if we're being good boyfriends then call the person who is clearly spiralling
HA! Audrey can be so fun
Now why is Monet in it?
At what point during the 3 hours of your adult day that you have spent driving two teenagers ,you barely know, to the Hamptons do you start questioning your life choices?
See, even he knows it could've been a text! I hate it when y'all put me in a position to agree with a man.... but his foolish ass shouldn't be texting her anyway! And the correct thing would've been to dead that shit and apologise for letting it go so far via text! Ugh..... okay I'm good again. Onward
I'm sorry, she took you to a party in a different city and did what?! Baby that girl is not your friend. Never hangout with her again.
Okay, so Audrey is fun when she's got a silly little mission. She's so good when she strong arms her way to the Hamptons and when she and Max were playing detective? Wonderful! Entertainment! Comedy! But this *gestures vaguely in the direction of the triad* can't always be the motivation for it. Not only is the resolution going to be the same, "we need to be better about communicating", so the stakes feel pretty non-existent but it's also robbing us of what could be a stellar performance. Give this girl shenanigans! Point her in the direction of a farce! Let her be a little maniac outside of this relationship
Oh she's cutting him off for real for real?
Imagine being Helene and seeing a random man playing a cello in your driveway in the middle of the night. Maybe she thinks it's normal. Like "Oh, I guess someone sent me a cellist, how nice." Or "Did I order a cellist when I was drunk online shopping... again?" I don't know what wealthy people do
Does Obie have a dad?
Gonna test these conviction now Obie.
Huh, I have the most minimal interest in Obie.... Wow! Pats on the back for everyone! You have truly achieved something here.
Julien is messing around with a married man and Obie is broke? We're really walking in the path of our predecessors here. The writers really said "Reject modernity, embrace tradition."
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aqueeracademic · 3 years ago
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endeavour being queer (and other commentary):
season 1, episode 1, “Girl”:
- pushes through the whole crowd to stand next to Jakes
- interaction with Debryn (Debryn telling him he can look because there’s no blood, suggesting he and Morse are close enough that he trusts Debryn to tell him something like that)
- checking out Derek like no ones business
- who the FUCK spits on their iron, Morse??? get a glass of water or something.
- Debryn subtly gives Morse somewhere other than the body to look
- going around the side of the building with Jakes 🤨🤨
- Jakes glaring Bright’s head off when Bright starts bullying Morse
- Jakes supporting Morse’s deductions 🤨
- imagine if season 1 Bright stfu.
- look, i know they’re speaking quietly so that girl can sleep, but goddam if Morse wasnt flirting
- i’ve never seen a man more uncomfortable than morse watching that girl beg for her child back
- “an immoral rendezvous?” bright stfu he can be married and be gay u dumbass
- jakes’ face when he said that shit 😧
- i’m so embarrassed for morse just putting this random ass guy in jail i literally wanna scream
- jakes coming to find him in the cells
- “made an arrest then?” 🤨🤨
- this gay ass priest is a liarrrr!!!!!!!!!!
- “something we have in common, i imagine?” 😏😏
- “you seem an unlikely policeman, if i may.” 😏
- why unlikely 🤨 wdym by that 🤨
- “something for you to think about on the way back to town.” 😏
- BRO WATCHED MORSE LEAVE W HIS GLASSES IN HIS MOUTH WTF WAS THAT
- these gay ass hoes
- “doctor debryn called. wants you to drop by the mortuary.”
- 🤨
- “do you feel alright? you’re not going to...”
- “no.”
- “i can get you a glass of water, if you’d like.”
- they know each other so well i’m—-
- “what did they tell you about me?”
- that ur batshit crazy and they were RIGHT
- “she’s beautiful, incredibly so.”
- doesn’t mean she’s not crazy
- “most of the lads have you off as a queer fish.” 🤨
- “have they?”
- WHY R U SURPRISED???
- have you met urself?
- i wanna smoke a pipe like thursday
- bro morse fr j ghosted strange like that how foul
- NO THE GAY PRIEST
- thursday is INSANE for j sneaking up on morse in a gay hookup spot like that
- his FINGERS ARE GONE
- “that’s frank’s scrawl. i’d know it a mile off.” 🤨🤨 no need for the little smile as u say it doc
- NOOOO THE GAY PRIEST
- i love jakes but he’s such a snitch on morse 😔 no need for all this hatred 😔
- morse there is no need to cry over being returned to general duties get it together
- thursday >>>
- morse’s interactions w women give me such an ick and not even in a “i think he’s gay” way but in a “he should never be allowed to speak to a woman” kinda way
- yes, i read the books so i know i’m right.
- oxford is so pretty i’m literally sick over it.
- no need to stare at jakes when he’s leaning over his desk, morse
- their bickering is literally-
- morse what is ur actual problem
- the first time i saw this i was obviously on morse’s side but watching it now i’m literally like... bro ur a MESS
- GO STRANGE!!!!
- jakes there is no need to lean over morse’s desk to get in his face like that JUST to make fun of him
- insanity.
- gay priest = confirmed by that little blond asshole
- strange is such a real one i wanna marry him
- “i’ve been an idiot.” OBVIOUSLY.
- i would go to church if i could go to church here
- “why wouldn’t he just come forward?” Bright you need to believe gay people are real NOW bc ur nick is CRAWLING w them
- the random old man covering for his son being the murderer is INSANE of the writers
- morse has no business being so smart
- also i’m allowed to hate him bc i AM him
- it’s insane to rly look at what was going on bc why was derek having monkford deliver the drugs in a gay hookup spot, why would his dad murder someone in a gay hookup spot, why would that old man murder a gay man for walking into a gay hookup spot
- he’s GAY????? he’s NOT going to come forward u psycho.
- justice for the gay people in this show i demand it
- morse and strange = besties for lyfe
- the THEME SONG DHMU
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milfzatannaz · 2 years ago
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Hey it's me! The one that said about how zatanna can be more ''wrong'' in her relationship with john and how fans forget about it and just blame our british man. I will communicate with this ''🐇'' emoji, so you know it's me.
well my question is this: As I think Zatara is not the best father in the world
starting with the fact that he is highly overprotective and that ends up being something controlling. He always wanted to control Zee's life. I recently found out that after the ''death'' of his wife and the deaths of his Wayne's friends, Zatara became an alcoholic and please, I'm pretty sure he silently blamed Zatanna for it all. He had no one else and she was the only one he could take his anger out on.
second point: the way with in JLD 2018 he did the worst with Constantine. The guy literally pulled john out of the asylum, a broken and mentally stable john who had just been through trauma. zatara decided it would be a great idea to take this kid and put him through some of his magical shit he didn't want to get his hands dirty. He lied and manipulated his daughter and still made john never able to tell anything
third point: Zatara has already erased zee's memories and his trauma with puppets, which I think is wrong since she grew up with this fear and didn't know the reason for it, and I'm pretty sure he has erased her memory other times . In addition to him manipulating zee, because she ALWAYS defends her father, even when he is a fuck and is highly wrong. she was a dumb brat when she cursed at john and said horrible things to him in JLD #13 2018. All this to defend her goddamn dad.
maybe that's why Nick Necro wanted to kill Zatara so badly in the new 52
I don't agree with a lot of Zatara's actions, but I understand that he was protecting his daughter in a horrible way, it's difficult. I like their relationship, but I hate how Zatanna is dependent on her father and can't get over his death. All screenwriters always press on this same topic and it has already become something boring.
good, that's it! sorry to talk so much and my english is terrible, most of it is from the translator, the dangers of being brazilian. Anyway, I really admire everything you do and talk about johnzee and the vertigo universe in general, I'm with you in this fandom of 5 people!
hiya it's nice to hear from u again! I love receiving meta in my inbox!
and yeah you raise a lot of good points about Zatara, esp the 2018 reboot. I suspect that sideplot was written to heighten conflict between John and Zee- writers never make them overtly romantic, and for the JLD plot to move forward I feel like they need to have something keeping them at odds. Otherwise there's less of a justification of why DC hasn't fully developed them in 30 years.
also, aside from team comics, I think Zatara is often written this way to add some life to a rather flat character. He hasn't been anything but Zee's dead dad since 1986. The mourning daughter schtick is a tad tired, so this effort to make him posthumously more morally grey is probably just to add some spice. but it often backfires, bc Zee still glorifies him and has never done anything but miss him on panel, despite the mind-wiping and manipulation. So they keep introducing these plot points that should have a lot of emotional weight, but aren't developed.
that's honestly my problem with JLD '18 as a whole. visually cohesive with enough vertigo lore to make it go somewhere, its main problem is its own lack of commitment. All these things happened to both john and zee, and their individual characters and their relationship has not progressed at all. Zatara died for John, who himself had just been cradled in zee's arms, and it's never mentioned again. Zee kept secrets from him and there was no payoff. idk you can try and make a ~spooky~ comic but if there's no emotional development it all falls a tad flat.
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lavenderjacobs · 4 years ago
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fluff alphabet - Sapnap
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➳ wc; 2,1K (she’s a long one lol)  ➳ pronouns; gender neutral<3 ➳ song reccomendation; heart eyes - coin
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A=Attractive (What do they find most attractive in a partner?)
nick’s an ass guy and you can’t convince me otherwise. he’s also just loves your thighs and your stomach. he loves how soft your skin is, and how good you smell. whenever he’s sad he just rests his head on your stomach while you tangle you fingers in his hair. 
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B=Best memory (Their favourite memory of you)
he cherishes your first kiss so much. he just has such a soft spot for that memory. the moment he finally found out you felt the same about him, the moment he finally found out what your lips against his felt like. it’s just something he had looked forward to for forever, and to him, it was perfect. 
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C=Cuddles  (What type of cuddles do they like?)
sapnap is a WHORE for cuddles. if it where up to him, you two would just lay in bed all day, tangled in each other’s arms. after a long day, he just wants to hold his favourite person and fall asleep with them, so he just wraps his arms around your waist while he uses your chest as a pillow. but if he’s in a chatty mood, he’ll just talk your ears off, ranting about something he finds interesting, while you’re all snuggled up in the crook between his neck and shoulder. 
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D=Dirty mind (Do they have a dirty mind?)
I mean, come on. it’s sapnap. we all know he does. he gets *excited* very easily, which can sometimes get in the way when you two are just trying to cuddle. he just has such a soft spot for your body and has to have his way with you once certain ideas have entered his mind. 
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E=Effort (How much effort do they put in the relationship?)
nick would definitely try his best. honestly you don't care if his plans actually turn out the way he intented them to, it's the thought that counts. and nick knows that. but theres just something about you that makes him want to spoil you and treat you like a princess. so prepare yourself for fancy dates, him making you your favorite food, all that type of stuff.
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F=First date (What was your first date together)
arcade date arcade date arcade date. sap is super competitive and I feel like he would thrive in an arcade. he would play it off like he was just trying to proof how good he was at the arcade games. but he'd just love to see how hard you would be trying to beat him. obviously he'd let you win a lot, and when he collected enough tickets, he would get you the biggest prize he could find.
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G=Gentle (How gentle are they with you?)
it....depends???? lmao. nick CAN be super gentle with you, he’s pretty protective of you and would never want you to get hurt, so he’s definitely very careful not to do anything to hurt you. but sometimes his instinct just kinda takes over and well, he can get pretty rough. 
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H=Hands (Do they have nice hands?)
hmmm nick has like,,very manly hands,, if you know what i mean. i dont know, they're just so rough but yet so pretty??? and they're like really big compared to yours so when he holds ur hand, yours looks so tiny in his. and omg he won't shut up about it. "LOOK AT YOUR HANDS THEY'RE SO SMALL🥺"
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I=Impression (What was their first impression?)
he just thought you were so ~cool~. like he immediately knew he wanted to be your friend. he was just so in awe of how funny, chill and charismatic you were. and it literally took two days for him to develop a crush on you. his friends would notice this right away and tease him about it so much omg.
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J=Jealousy (Do they get jealous often? If so what do they do?)
YUP. nick gets jealous so easy yup yup yup. jealousy, protectiveness, possessiveness, you name it. you two would often get in fights about this, but most of the time you would just think it’s cute how riled up he gets. he doesn’t get mad at you (because you’re his precious little baby and can do no wrong in his eyes :D) but god help the souls of whoever tries to flirt with you, because they’ve got a hell of a storm coming.
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K=Kisses (What type of kisses do they like/give?)
god nick’s such a passionate kisser. or at least he can be lol. he loves the way your face fits into his hands, and how soft your lips are. so he definitely is a fan of just some wholesome passionate kisses. but damn this man gets sloppy when he wants to. his lips constantly trails off to your jaw, neck and collar bones.
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L=Love  (Do they show their love?)
i feel like his love language would be like a mix between words of affection and physical touch??? he’s definitely very verbal with his love for you. he doesn’t shy away from saying i love you or letting you know how much he appreciates you in any other way.
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M=Memory: (Their favourite memory in general?)
there are certain moments where nick just sits back, watches, and realizes how amazing his life is. and how grateful he is to have you. for example, you were playing minecraft on his pc, and your house kept getting blown up by creepers, he found it adorable how mad you got every time. he just watched you play, while sitting on his bed. after a while, you looked over at him, and caught him staring. “what?” you asked after letting out a soft chuckle. he felt like he was gonna explode from how much he loved you. 
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N=Nickname  (What nicknames do they call you?)  
i’m getting very strong “baby” and “doll” vibes from nick. he loves baby-ing you and smothering you with other loving nicknames. just any petnames that show how much he loves you he’s all for. he would also love calling you “pretty” or “beautiful” for obvious reasons. 
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O=Over  (What happened the one time you ‘broke up’?)
nick HATES fighting with you, but once you two get into an argument he can get pretty carried away. he’s definitely the type to let his emotions get the upper hand on him. raising his voice a lot, stuff like that. but the second you leave to get some space he just breaks down. sliding down the wall and resting his face in his hands, just letting all the emotions out. he never meant to hurt you. when you came back to him, ready to be enclosed in his arms again, he had a hard time letting you back in. he just felt like he didn’t deserve you after he treated you like this. it took some convincing, but once you broke down his walls again, it was like he gave you all the love in his body. just smothering you with “i’m sorry”s and kisses. 
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P=Parents (What would they be like as a parent?)
dilfnap dilfnap dilfnap  omg he’d be such a good dad. like just very caring and loving, but also strict and stern when he needs to be. he’d constantly be telling stories to the kids about the absurd adventures him and his friends would get into, and omg the dad jokes he’d make. idk maybe it’s my daddy issues but dad sapnap lives in my mind rent free. 
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Q=Quirk (Something special about them)
he loves holding your hand. especially in public. if you’re in a crowded space, he just holds onto you very tightly as not to lose you. or if you two are just going on a walk together, his hands would just feel so warm and soft around yours. and omg he loves it when his hands are in his pockets, and you put your hands in there with him, and intertwine your fingers with his. hmmm he gets so soft when you do that.
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R=Romantic (How romantic are they?)
i- uh- I MEAN HE WOULD TRY he really would, and again, that’s all that matters. I feel like he would be the type to try to prepare a whole surprise dinner, he would cook all the food himself, he would set the table all cute, with candles and shit, but just completely ruin the surprise by accidentally giving it all away by saying something or just behaving very obviously suspicious. 
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S=Sad (What are they like when they’re sad?)
he just gets really quiet. he would never want to bother you or be a pain in the ass by complaining to you. but obviously you notice when something is wrong with ur bby boy. a sentence like “are you okay?” or “what’s wrong?” would immediately send him over the edge, burying his face in your chest, trying his best to supress his sobs. but he eventually calms down, and once he does, he’s able to just rant to you about whatever is bothering him.
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T=Together (What are they like when you’re together?)
i feel like it would really depend on his mood, like he could be either SUPER chill, just wanting to savour the time you two had together. or he could be really hyper, constantly talking, wanting to do all kinds of activities with you. he’d be the literal definition of :D
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U=Understanding (How understanding and empathetic are they?)
very. i just get such empathetic vibes from him. he’s such a good listener and he’ll just listen to you talk whenever you have something to be upset about. he never invalidates your feelings and omg he’d give the best advice. 
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V=Value (What do they value most about the relationship?)
he loves that he can 100% be his self around you. there’s no part of his personality that he feels like he has to hide, or tone down, whenever he’s with you. you also aspire him to be his best self, he just wants to be the best boyfriend in the world. all his friends have noticed this too, you bring out the best in him.
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W=Wedding (Would they want marriage? If so what would they like?)
eh. if you’re a person who really values marriage, he’d 100% do it for you. but it’s not like he HAS to. he gets a bit scared by the idea of this whole big event, where everything is about you two, he would way rather celebrate the love you two have in the comfort of your own home, just the two of you. the one thing he would love about a wedding, would be seeing you all dolled up, walking down the aisle, omg he’d be the proudest man ever to be able to call you his.
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X=X-Ray (How well can they read you?)
the SECOND you start to feel sad or depressed in any way, nick notices immediately. he knows you better than anybody else, and he knows exactly what to do to cheer you up. it’s like his superpower. if you’re feeling anxious he’ll just wrap his arms around you really tightly, holding on to you until you calm down. and when you’re sad, and in need for something to cheer you up, he’ll take you outside for a walk in the park, or he’ll just sit in bed with you, watching your favourite show. 
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Y=Yuck (What they would never want in a partner)
he hates when you flirt with his friend, even when you’re very obviously joking. his jealous ass can’t deal with that lmao. he also gets super pissed when his friends make flirtatious jokes towards you, they know how much it gets on his nerves and that’s really the only reason they do it. but omg he gets so pissed when it happens. 
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Zzz (How do they sleep around you?)
nick would be the cutest sleeper ever omg. he doesn’t like to admit it, but he loves being little spoon. he loves resting his head on your chest, while you play with his hair, patiently waiting for him to fall asleep. 
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let-me-love-you-loki · 3 years ago
Text
Everything Has Changed--Ch. 24
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Chapter 24
Nick
           Matt sat on the floor facing me, back against the fridge and feet wedged against the wall. I had the trashcan propped between my knees. I couldn’t tell if I was going to be sick again, but it was like I could feel it at the back of my throat. All I could think about was what had just happened. How Shaye had practically just cut me out of her life without a second thought.
           “Hey,” my brother said, nudging me in the hip with his foot. “It’s not as bad as it seems.”
           My head fell back against the wall, sending a sharp snap of pain through my skull. “She practically just told me to never talk to her again.”
           “Nick, she just had Kenny royally screw with her head. He broke her heart. He was a complete asshole to her. It’s not you. Not really,” he said. I  let out a huff. “Seriously. Don’t take it personally right now. Both of you are wound up.”
           “I tried to move in on a girl who’d just been dumped.” Saying the words out loud made them real. Made me think that, no matter how much I’d tried to deny it, I really was one of those guys. “Jesus, Matt… when did I turn into such a douchebag?”
           Matt kicked me in the ribs. Not hard enough to knock the wind out of me, but hard enough to hurt. “You’re not a douchebag, Nick.”
           “I feel like one.”
           “Well, you’re not. And I’m pretty sure that I’m right when I say Shaye probably doesn’t think so either.” He groaned and stood up, his back popping as he did. “You need to eat. And don’t argue.”
           Matt started digging around in my fridge and pulling out stuff to make sandwiches. I pulled the trashcan closer. The sour scent of vomit wafted up, and I thought for a moment that I was going to puke again. Just thinking about Shaye and how she had practically begged me to stay away. To not call her again. It was like the last few days were a fever dream that I couldn’t quite figure out. I couldn’t even work out how I’d ended up on a plane to Winnipeg in the first place.
           All I could see was her face and how heartbroken she’d sounded on the phone when she’d asked if I knew where Kenny was. I’d thought I was doing the right thing going with her. It was like I’d made everything worse, and I didn’t know how to make it any better. Somehow she seemed to hate me.
           “Stop it,” Matt said from the sink. He was banging through pots and pans. “Stop moping. Give her a day or two to get herself together.”
           I hung my head. “A day or two. A week or two. It isn’t going to matter. She’s never going to want to speak to me or see me ever again.”
           When I looked up, Matt was rolling his eyes. “Not with that attitude, she won’t.”
Shaye
           “Are you okay, Sha-sha?” Damon said as he leaned against the counter next to me. My head throbbed and my eyes had gone blurry. He grunted as he hopped up onto the kitchen island. “You look like shit.”
           I dropped my forehead onto the granite. “Thank you so much, Damon. It’s not like I hadn’t noticed.”
           He swung his feet, banging his heels into the cherrywood cabinets. Every thud made my jaw clench. “You’ve been miserable ever since you came back. I can hear you at night, you know. Crying.”
           “Your room is on the other side of the apartment,” I sighed, rubbing my temples hard with my fingers. “That’s impossible.”
           “Not really,” my little brother said quietly. When I looked up, he was watching me with his head cocked to the side. “Sometimes I come sit outside your room.”
           “Why are you outside my room?” I asked, feeling something hollow settle into my stomach. My little brother looked down at his hands, twisting them in his lap.
           He looked so different from the kid who had been on the verge of getting kicked out of another school just a few weeks before. There was something about him that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
           “I saw you when you and Dad came home from the airport.” Damon paused for a moment. Then he reached out and took my hand. “I don’t know what happened wherever you went, but I know that I hate the way it’s making you feel. You seem so miserable, Shaye. And I know I’m just some stupid kid, but I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.”
           I met my brother’s eyes. How had he grown up so much so fast? For a moment, I hardly recognized him.
           “You don’t have to, Sha-sha,” he added quickly.
           “Kenny and I are over,” I said in a rush. The words came out so fast that I couldn’t remember even thinking them. “He wouldn’t answer the phone for days. I went to Winnipeg to surprise him. Instead, I got surprised.”
           Damon squeezed my hand and sighed. He didn't say anything. Instead he just let me be. He let me have the time to figure out what I wanted to say.
           "I called…" My breath caught in my chest. I forced air into my lungs and back out again. "I called Nick Jackson to find out where Kenny was. That's how I knew to go to Winnipeg. Before I was even on the jet, Nick called to say he was flying in from California. He met me at the airport…"
           "I didn't know you guys were close like that," Damon said softly. I could hear the confusion in his voice.
           "We weren't… aren't… I don't know what we are." Tears burned behind my eyes. My head swam and I was certain I was going to puke. "When we got to Kenny's place, Kota Was there. And Kenny didn't deny the reason why."
           My brother watched me quietly for a moment before grabbing some paper towels from near the sink. He wadded it up and handed it to me. "Here," he whispered.
           I hadn't realized I'd started to cry. I wiped furiously under my eyes. My chest had gone tight and achy.
           “Why did you go to California?” Damon blushed when I looked at him. “I heard Dad telling her about it.”
           I gave a halfhearted laugh. At least I was able to call her Mother. Damon hadn't called her that in a very long time.
           "I asked Nick to take me. I needed somewhere that wasn't…"
           Damon squeezed my hand again. "Neutral territory," he said with a nod. "It looks like it didn't help much."
           "It helped some. But mostly… confused me. About Kenny." I closed my eyes and hung my head. The words and realization rumbled through my head, but I was so scared of telling my brother what had really happened in California. "About a lot of things."
           He hopped down from the counter and smiled before wrapping me in a hug. "I love you, Sha-Sha. I'm here. Even though I'm a stupid teenager."
           I hugged him back hard. "You're not stupid, Damon. Just reckless."
Nick
Matt practically dragged me down the stairs of my apartment complex. A champagne gold Honda sat in the lot next to my beat up Nissan. It was Sam's car. His girlfriend's car. The girl we'd met all those months ago in the concourse of LAX all because I couldn't pick up the right suitcase.
           And Sam was inside, sitting behind the wheel with the seat back and her eyes closed. She looked so pretty, her hair pulled back in a bun and a faint sunburn running across her cheeks. It felt like getting punched in the gut again.
           It had been two days since Shaye had disappeared without saying goodbye. She still wasn't answering my calls or texts, and I'd slipped into a funk.
           "Come on. We're going to Reseda," Matt said as he yanked me by the arm toward her car. "You're not staying holed up in your apartment. Super Dragon wants us at a show tonight."
           I stopped, planting my feet. "I don't have my gear bag and I'm not in the mood."
           My brother grabbed me by the wrist and practically gave me an Irish whip into the side of the Honda. "Good thing we're not on the card. Just a run-in for Cole and Roddy."
           “I’m still not in the mood. Go without me.”
           Matt thumped me hard in the shoulder, backing me up against Sam’s car. It rocked. She hit the horn, scaring the crap out of both of us. “You are not sitting in that apartment and moping, Nick. I’m not having it and neither is Sam. If you’re not going to go after Shaye, the least you can do is not act like an ass. Get in the ring. Do something.”
           The thought of wrestling made me think about the first time I met Shaye. And that made me think about Kenny Omega. And that made me feel sick in a way that I never expected. Nausea rolled through me, bringing along with it rage and disgust and a deep ache that cut like a knife between my ribs. My fists clenched at my sides, and I could feel my lungs straining for breath.
           Suddenly, fighting someone felt like a very good idea. “Promise me I can punch someone,” I said vehemently.
           Grinning, Matt turned and held open the back door. “I’m sure Kevin and Rami would be happy to take one for the team.”
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imagine-that-100 · 4 years ago
Text
Why No Answer? | Part 2 |
Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader (Female) | You’re woken up in the middle of the night to find Alex drunk and high on your doorstep. Looking after him proves to be a tiring and revealing ordeal.
Word Count: 12.8k
Warnings: Angst (from the past) but lots of fluff.
A/N: So this was requested by the lovely @psychkunox​, really hope you enjoy this. I don’t know what happened, but I got very carried away with the word count yet again sorry about that ahha. I would recommend watching the Restaurant scene from When Harry Met Sally either before or after you read. It’s quite comical and will give you more context. Anyway though, Likes, Reblogs, and Feedback is always appreciated, but thank you all for reading, I really hope you all enjoy xx
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Read Part 1: | Here | 
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“Al stop.” You scorn him in a whisper as he once again kisses the back of your neck as you stand in the queue for Space Mountain.  
You really tried not to indulge in the feeling of his lips on your skin because it was an extremely addicting sensation. But you were in public, in Disney World of all places where everyone had their phones and cameras out, and the band were all standing in front of you in the queue.
“Alex.” You whisper shout again and pull yourself out of the hold he had on your hips when you felt him do it again.
You turn around and shake your head when you note the mischief in his eyes and the slight smirk gracing his pretty lips. You wanted nothing more to have them on your own in such a beautiful place but that couldn’t happen since you both decided you wanted to keep your relationship between yourselves for a while longer.
You were their photographer which meant that you didn’t want things to get weird with them on tour. And after you and Alex both decided to keep your relationship on the downlow when you initially started going out with each other, you sort of wanted to keep it that way, so nothing changed the dynamic of your group.  
You were only 2 years younger than Matt and Alex, 3 years younger than Jamie and Nick, so you’d always been pretty close with them all. You thought of them all as your brothers as you were growing up as Alex had gone to the same primary school as you and Matt and they had been best mates since the beginning.
They met Jamie and Nick in High School along with Andy who was obviously initially in the band, before he stepped down and Nick took over. They had always been your family who’d taken good care of you and you knew just how lucky you were to have them all.
But obviously to them you’d always been Matt’s little, and sometimes annoying, sister. When they were 14/15 they all wanted nothing to do with you and you were certain Alex had hated you once upon a time, but that might have been because you were a 12 year old who’d started growing up having crushes on all of your brothers friends.
Thankfully they didn’t disown you completely as when you reached the less annoying age of 15, they didn’t seem to push you out as much. You liked hanging out with all of them, and you saw them more because they always had to come to your house because Matt couldn’t move the drum kit unless it was for a gig.  
You’d always liked music as it had always been an escape for you. Like when the band were first starting out when you’d go up to your bedroom to escape the utter shit music they were making, and you’d have your Pulp and Blur records on.
There was a new band you actually introduced them too at the time which was The Strokes, which is comical in hindsight because if you’d never told Alex and Matt to listen to that record when they caught you humming along to Barely Legal, you weren’t sure Alex would have had the motivation to keep the band going and get it as big as they had become.
It wasn’t a secret that Alex’s hero was Julian Casablancas.
A few years later the band was getting bigger and the excitement in your household at them potentially making it big was intense. So much so that your Mum and Dad threw a party for them all when they got scouted and got the record deal.
It was at that party that Matt and Alex drunkenly agreed to let you be their photographer as soon as you were done with your photography apprenticeship. It was something they never forgot though and they did actually let you become their photographer.
So as soon as your apprenticeship finished in the summer of 2006, your 18-year-old self joined the lads on their tour. To say it was a dream come true would be an understatement.
Both you and Matt had loved photography your entire lives, stemming from when your Grandma bought you both a digital camera each one year for Christmas. Since then, it’d become your passion and your plan was to be a photographer anyway.
But being the photographer for Arctic Monkeys meant that you got to travel the world and see places you never thought you would, and you never got home sick because you already had your family around you.
You honestly adored your job.
In the breaks between their tours and them writing new material you would take other photography jobs in the years off, but that didn’t really happen for the first four years of them all being big.
Alex asked Domino if you could do their The Age of the Understatement tour too which you were surprised by, but of course you did it. A job was a job and you weren’t going to turn it down just because your brother wasn’t there.
Usually on the tours you’d stay in a separate bus from the lads because after the first week into the first tour you joined them on you saw what an absolute shit tip they all created. They were all revolting and all typical lads, being messy, every other sentence was a sex joke, and they were just revolting creatures.
To you it was genuinely a surprise they actually showered after every gig.
But thankfully with the years passing and being on tour busses became a constant for them instead of something new and exciting, they all got better. So, their Suck It And See tour was the first full tour you’d actually stayed in the bus with them.
Although sometimes you wished you hadn’t because that tour was where he met Breana and you definitely heard things you’d never want to hear again. You don’t know how the other lads weren’t scarred from the noises that came out of Matt’s bunk those nights.
All you had to say about it was thank god for earphones and ear defenders.
But you think it was on that tour that you started getting closer to Alex and the other lads. Mostly due to Matt being a love stuck puppy who spent most of his time with Breana but also because you didn’t want to burden him with your emotions.
About a month before the Suck It And See tour started in the February of 2011, your arsehole of a boyfriend texted you saying that he didn’t want to see you anymore. He was an arsehole for doing it over text and then not answering your calls afterwards, but he was an even bigger arsehole for getting with who you thought was your best friend as soon as the tour started.
Matt and the lads obviously knew about the breakup but due to them all having no social media none of them knew what your best friend had done to you. So, you cried about that betrayal in your bunk at night when you knew everyone else was asleep and you cried when you found moments of solitude.
They had enough going on with interviews and tours and you didn’t want them to burden them with your issues too. But that stopped when Alex walked in on your crying in the back lounge of the bus about a month into the tour.
Your ex best friend had just posted a picture of her and your ex who you still had the misfortune of having feelings for and you just crumbled. When you saw it you just couldn’t bear the thought of being around anyone else, so you slipped out of their presence and cried your way back to the tour bus.
Thankfully no one followed you in your time of crisis which meant that you got your uncontrollable sobs out of the way alone. But of course, someone came back to the bus and found you.
And that person was Alex.
He’d come back for another pack of fags needing the extra nicotine in the hours before a show. But all thoughts of that stopped when he heard crying come from the back end of the bus.
He walked past the bunks and opened the door into the back lounge to find you sat on the floor with your head buried into your knees and sobs were ringing in his ears. His heart dropped at the sight.
“Y/N what's wrong?” Alex asks, rushing over to you.
And when you didn't answer he called your name again. “Y/N?”
But you just shake your head and continue sobbing into your knees. So he begs, “Please talk to me, love”
He was kneeling down beside you, his hand coming to the back of your head as if to slowly coax you out of your hiding stop. And after stroking the back of your head for a minute, your head rises from your hiding spot but your eyes remain shut and you continue to sob.
Alex tries his best to coax you out of your sobs but you’re pretty much hyperventilating in front of him. After another one of the longest minutes of Alex’s life he manages to get you to slow your cries enough for words to fall from your lips.
“My life’s falling apart” You sob, still refusing to look at him. Your breathing is better but still erratic when you continue to tell him in a pain stricken voice, “I can’t carry on crying myself to sleep like this every night... I- I just want to feel normal again”
“What’s happened? Why are you upset?” Alex begs for you to tell him, ripping the tears from under your eyes.
The only thing that comes to mind is your previous relationship, so Alex asks, “Is it about your ex?”
You nod, tears still pouring down your eyes, “He’s taken everything Alex... My life is fucking ruined”
“No he hasn’t Y/N. You’re here, you’ve got us” He tries to assure you, but you just shake your head.
After a second you open your watery eyes and Alex can see how much pain they hold. They somehow contain even more when you speak the words out loud, “He’s going out with Y/B/F.”
Even Alex’s blood runs cold when he hears that. His words almost get caught in his throat when he asks, “What?”
You nod, sniffling a bit and wiping your own tears from your cheeks when you repeat, “He’s going out with Y/B/F.”
“Please tell me you’re joking” The words fall from his mouth before he can stop them.
You and your best friend had been together since day one, like you’d practically been friends since birth. You were practically sisters.
It was only the odd time Alex would come to yours and Matt’s house growing up and Y/B/F wasn’t there with you. You were the annoying girls he couldn’t escape.
Not that he still felt like that as you yourself had become a really good friend but back when you were 12 you were both so fucking annoying. But everyone knew that your and Y/B/F came as a pair.
You were the best of friends, and completely inseparable.  
“I don’t think I’d be on the floor crying if I was joking Alex.” You whine, trying your best to stop your tears now someone else was with you.  
You nod towards your phone that you threw on the sofa when you walked in the room and say, “Just look”
So Alex does. He takes your phone off the side and unlocks it knowing your password was your birthday and he quickly puts the numbers in and watches as it unlocks.
And his heart sinks at the proof that lays in his hands. There on the screen he can clearly see the picture of your best friend and your ex-boyfriend quite clearly together.
They were posed in the way couples typically posed for pictures and then there was another of them at the same party and they stood kissing, and Alex found it repulsive.
“This isn’t okay.” Alex looks up from the phone to see your head no leaning back against the settee, tears falling freely down your cheeks now.
You make no effort to look at him when you say, “I know.”
“Why didn’t Matt tell me?” Alex asks, a little confused.
Surely this was something that was to be at least hushedly whispered to the people closest to you.
“Because he doesn't know.” You say simply.
“Why?” He asks, locking the phone so you didn’t see the pictures again.
You told Matt everything these days. There was no point in secrets between you as you were adults and you cared for the other’s well-being.
You’d always been open with each other, minus the time that you went out to a party when you were 16 and came back with a series of love bites on your neck. All of the lads had been really shocked when you walked in a little bit tipsy with those on your skin.
Matt had been furious and a little disgusted knowing someone had been touching you in a romantic sense. So, it was no surprise to the other lads that when you were questioned on if something more happened, you pressed your swollen lips together and slipped up to your room denying that anything else had happened.
It was comical because it was clear to everyone else that it had gone further than someone kissing your neck.
Everyone took the piss out of Matt that night saying that someone had just taken his sister's virginity and it left the drummer mortified. But you always denied it to the full band until about 6 months later when Alex had asked you in the kitchen if you were actually lying or not.
Of course, Alex didn’t actually tell any of the others when you confirmed what everyone already knew. But that was the last time you’d ever lied to your brother.
So, hearing that your brother didn’t know about this shocking and frankly disgusting news in your life was concerning.
You looked up towards your brothers’ best mate and told him the truth, “Because I can’t ruin his time with Breana…”
You had to trail off because the lump in your throat was getting too much. So you swallowed it away before continuing, your voice still pained, barely above a whisper, “He really likes her and he doesn’t need to be worrying about me... She could be the mother of his children for all we know... I’m not ruining that chance because my life has fallen apart.”
“He’d understand Y/N/N.” Alex told you, once again leaning forward to wipe away your tears.
You shake your head, “It’s not fair.”
“And you think what’s happened to you is fair?” Alex questions, knowing full well that it wasn’t.
No one deserved this type of betrayal. Especially you.
You just started weeping again then and Alex brought you into his arms, needing to console you in a hug. Thankfully you didn’t resist his hug and Alex let you cry into his shoulder as you clung to him.
After a while of him rubbing your back and whispering you sweet nothings, he had to tell you, “You could have told me Y/N/N.”
You shake your head into his neck then, Alex could still feel the tears falling onto his skin. He just about hears you say into his shoulder, “You’re happy with Arielle, I don’t want you dealing with my shit either.”
“Your family, what hurts you hurts me” Alex tells you, “You’ve always got me Y/N… Always.”
After another five minutes of you both on the floor, Arielle walks in and is immediately worried seeing you sat on the ground crying into Alex’s arms. Alex just politely asked her to go and get Matt though which she did, and you didn’t oppose it.
You couldn’t deal with that on your own any longer and you were thankful for Alex being so kind to you. Your heart just fully melted in your chest later on after everything had been explained to everyone and he pulled you aside and gave you another big hug.
He whispered to you, “You’re going to be okay Y/N/N.” before placing a kiss to the top of your head.
The rest of that tour was filled with him making sure you were always okay and so did the other lads. But maybe it felt more personal to you when Alex checked on you because he was the one that found you.
It was him that just told you to cut them from your life completely and block them on everything as ‘they weren’t good enough for you anyway’. After you did that you felt better about your life. You’d cleared them from your Instagram, leaving no trace on your page that they were ever in your life and it was a difficult purge, but it definitely helped you in the long run.
The years without them in your life were tough but it had proven to be for the best in the end.
Because once upon a time you thought you were going to marry your ex-boyfriend, but now you were standing in Disney World with your boyfriend trying to steal kisses from you. And you wouldn’t change it for the world.
You give your boyfriend of 4 months a warning look, but his eyes just held mischief. You had to remind him, “They are going to see.”
“Then let’s go somewhere else.” Alex says moving back towards you, and ushering you to move up the line a bit.  
“After this we’ll try and escape.” You promise, but he was really shit at turning you down and you wanted it to be believable. “But you have to actually pretend you don’t wanna go.”
He rolls his eyes but sighs, “Fine.”
After Space Mountain you announced to the lads that you wanted to go see the Disney characters next which they all groaned at. You first of all pleaded with Matt to come with you knowing he wouldn’t before the rest of the lads and one by one they all dismissed you.
The last person you asked was Alex and he surprisingly put up a good fight until you ‘wore him down’ and got your own way. You spent the rest of the afternoon going round with him and getting pictures of the both of you with the characters and you got a nice lady to take a  few pictures of you both outside the castle.
Those were your favourites, especially the one where he was kissing you.
As you were walking back to meet the others who were already back at the bus, you felt the need to tell him something which you’d yet to say. You didn’t think you’d find a better time than walking hand in hand in front of the Disney castle after one of the best days of your life.
So you pause your walk back for a moment to kiss him one last time before you make it back to the others. The kiss was sweet, just like the whole day had been, and you definitely felt like it was the right time to say, “I love you Alex.”
Immediately a smile found its way onto his lips, and he was practically beaming with joy. “You love me?” Alex asks you in a little disbelief.  
“Yeah…” You nod, a massive smile on your lips “A lot as well.”
Alex leant down and kissed you again then, this time though his arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you off your feet, spinning you around in his arms. It caused you to giggle into the kiss a little but you loved it.
When your feet touched the ground again Alex told you, “I love you so much Y/N”
“I know.” You grin as he’d already told you once before.
Alex just chuckles at you, “Alright Han Solo” which made you giggle.
“I love you more than anything Al, thank you for making me happy.” You tell him wrapping your arms around him, needing a tight embrace just so he knew you meant every single word.
His arms obviously snake around you, making you feel secure in the warm hug. And your heart melts once more when he kisses your head and says, “I love you more Angel, thank you for letting me make you happy.”
~*~*~*~
“Al.” You said attempting and failing to pull away from the kiss he’d trapped you in.
If you were honest, you really weren’t really putting up much of a fight to stop the kisses. You were in one of their many tents that this festival they were performing at had given them.
There was one for chilling out in, one that was essentially a bar, and a few more you’d yet to explore. But Alex had pulled you into one with the mass of beanbags in it and he wasted no alone time to have his lips connect to yours.
“Yes baby?” He says in his low voice and you could hear his hunger for you in his voice before he kissed you again.
It made your stomach flip as you knew exactly what he was thinking as you’d heard his voice like that many times since you started seeing each other. You both had to show some restraint though as anyone could walk into the tent, there was only a flimsy curtain between inside and outside.
You pull on his hair to make him pull away as you couldn’t do it yourself as he’d trapped you between him and a beanbag. Once his soft lips parted from yours, you told him seriously,  “Wait until the hotel.”
“But I want you now.” Alex then pouts at you, confirming the explicit thoughts that were running through his head.
You tell him truthfully, finding his pout very cute, “And I want you, but I’m not shagging you in a tent.”
“Why?” Alex questions, looking around for a moment before his gorgeous brown eyes meet your Y/E/C ones again. He chuckles, “It's a really posh tent.”
You guess it was too post to actually call it a tent. It was huge for a start and looked very expensive. You definitely felt privileged to get to experience all of this with him and the band.  
“Hun you had me all last night...” You shake your head whilst smiling like an idiot, “You can retrain yourself until we get back.”
“Not easily.” He pouts again and it makes you giggle which he once again finds adorable.
Another kiss is exchanged then but you don't let it get to what it just had been like. You stop it after he tries to distract you and deepen it again but you’re having none of it.
“You need to go or there gunna be like ‘what’s he doing in there?’” You say knowing he’d be asked to drink with them sooner rather than later.
Alex smiles knowing you’re right, but he chuckles when he tells you, “You know we have to tell them at some point, right?”
“Yeah I know, I just want as much of this tour to be as normal as possible.” You say, aimlessly stroking your fingers up and down the short hair on the back of his hair. You grin when you say, “I’d like to escape Jamie’s jokes for as long as possible.”
Alex just laughs then before he pecks your lips once more. “I don’t blame you Angel… But you can handle yourself. We’ll be fine.”
“I know.” You smile, feeling very content in this moment that you had with him. “I love you Al.”
“I love you too.” He tells you before he steals another kiss and gets himself up. “Do you want a drink?”
You shake your head whilst you get yourself comfy on the beanbag, also reaching to the nearby blanket to cover yourself with. “Nah, I’m good thanks. I’m gunna have a nap before the show.”
Alex smiles at you then, turning back towards you when he gets near the curtain to leave. He just stops by the curtain that divides him from outside and when he sees you getting curled up under the blanket.
He can’t help but nod and say, “Yeah.”
“Yeah what?” You ask looking back up to him standing there grinning at you.  
Alex nods down at you in your cosy spot and continues, “Yeah, you were definitely meant for me.”
You grin like an idiot then before you tell him, “Love you baby.”
“Love you too.” Alex smiles and sends a wink your way before he heads out of the tent.  
You can’t help but shut your eyes and snuggle into your new ‘bed’ with a massive grin on your face. But when you hear Miles say, “Oi Al, you dickhead. Come and have a shot.” you just start giggling.
~*~*~*~
You were absolutely plastered, and it was really making Alex laugh. Even more so than it usually would because you were trying your best not to be obvious that you wanted his affection.
You were a clingy drunk which was absolutely fine, and all the lads knew that, but watching you slip up around him and having to make up for it with the other lads was really comical for Alex.
You’d just come over to Alex after you’d beaten him at pool and teased him for being shit. To which Alex was shooting digs back at you but all you did in response was laugh, call him a sore loser and ruffle his perfect hair up which you knew annoyed him.
So Alex had just forced your hands out of his hair by grabbing your wrists and stopping you from doing anything more. He gave you warning looks like he would have done any other time you annoyed him before you got together but you also noted the looks as a reminder of the secret that you’d set out.
That was what led you to sitting on Jamie’s lap and talking his ear off about Katie whilst playing with his wavy hair. He threatened you to get off it, saying he’d cut it all off which you at first drunkenly pleaded with him not too but then you changed your mind saying he could definitely pull off a Peaky Blinders cut.
Once off Jamie you went on to have some flirty banter with Miles as Nick and Jamie played pool. Alex was watching you with an amused look on his face as his best mate was teasing you about not being on the pull whilst being in a bar with everyone.
You came back with things like, “Aw Miles, I couldn’t do that to you. I know you’d cry yourself to sleep if I entertained anyone elses flirting besides yours.”
Alex also found your laugh adorable when Miles kissed you on your cheek and Matt told him to leave you alone and to stop flirting with you. It was times like that that made Alex glad his best mate didn’t know about the two of you yet.
But after Nick’s game of pool finished and Nick won, he was calling it a night, despite it being relatively early. It seemed that you knew your tolerance though and decided to head back to the bus with Nick.
So you then went around the other 4 lads who were staying and made a bit of an effort to kiss them all goodnight, Alex presumed so you could kiss him. Something which proved to be correct because you came to him last after kissing all the other lads, including your brother, on the cheek and came to give him one.
“Thank you for my drinks” You drunkenly smile at him and Alex grins down at you in an amused way.
“You’re welcome love” Alex chuckles at your tipsy state and you then force a hug upon him.
He obviously hugs you back but he’s aware of his mates looking so he doesn’t make it completely obvious that he’s enjoying the hug as much as he is despite him really wanting to. He wanted nothing more than to kiss your lips instead of you leaning in to kiss his cheek.
When you left his arms, he smiled at you and you moved back to your brother and made him give you a hug. Something which Matt did but not without a roll of his eyes, but Alex could tell it was a playful one.
“See you in the morning guys.” You say with a smile after linking your arm through Nick’s so he could help you walk back.
Everyone said bye to you then and their attention was on the new game of pool again. But whilst it was Matt’s go Alex let his eyes focus on you.
You were so cute, he wanted nothing more than to take you back to a hotel away from the others so he could just be with you all night. But Alex also understood why you wanted to keep it a secret for a while longer.
Tours were long, and he knew you’d both be bullied about it for a while from the others, which you were both prepared for. But you were due to be on the road for the next year with AM due out in September.
The plan was to tell them as soon as interviews back home started so you didn’t have to be around the joking for long. Alex was used to it after Alexa and Arielle, but he knew you weren’t, and he respected that.
So that was why he denied it when the lads began to question him on it about 5 minutes after you left.
“What’s going on?” Matt asks as Alex pots another ball into the pool table.  
Alex grins thinking Matt was just fuming he was losing. As Alex moves around the table to eye up another winning shot, he says, “I’m beating you at pool
“No.” Matt shakes his head, earning eye contact from his best mate. “I mean with Y/N/N.”
“What do you mean?” Alex asks as he leans over the table to play his next shot, “She’s just gone back with Nick.”
“Don’t think he means that.” Miles grinned at him after he missed the tricky shot he’d chosen.  
Alex raises his eyebrows in a questioning way, getting the feeling that people were catching on to how you were around each other.
And that suspicion is confirmed when Jamie says, “You’re very touchy with each other.”
“Touchy?” Alex laughs, as he watches your brother take another shot, “Jamie mate, she was on your lap earlier.”
“Yeah, but she keeps like teasing you and messing with your hair and shit.” Matt chips in with his observations after missing his shot on the stripped balls.  
Alex rolls his eyes, “Matt, you literally fucked with my hair earlier today and Jamie did it yesterday... You all like to fucking annoy me by doing that.”
Alex continues to defend the both of you even though he wishes he didn’t have to. “You know what she’s like when she’s drunk, she doesn’t leave anyone alone.”
“He has a point; she didn’t shy away from me kissing her.” Miles points out raising his pint to the drummer.
Matt fakes a gag then and says, “Leave her the fuck alone Kane.”
“But she loves me.” Miles pouts, resting a hand over his heart like Matt’s words had hurt him. “You definitely want me as your brother-in-law.”
Alex smiles to himself knowing that he was now 6 months ahead of Miles in that category. God, he loved you. He could definitely see a bright future with you, and he had every intention to marry you one day in the years to come.
“I’d rather go to a Radiohead gig.” Matt says which earns a laugh from everyone, knowing how the hatred between the bands still hadn’t died out.
~*~*~*~
A month later you thought you were doing well. You were very careful around everyone after Alex told you about the questioning he got after the bar.
You were just normal with each other throughout the days, not overly interacting with each other. But when Alex’s eyes were hidden by his sunglasses, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wonder.
And it definitely helped that it was your job to take pictures of him. You could stare at him all day that way, even if it was through a camera lens.
Moments alone came when you’d stay in the bus when they went on nights out and Alex would venture back early meaning on nights like that, he actually got to give you goodnight kisses like he loved doing. Other moments took place when he would wander off at the multitude of festivals they were doing.
You’d say you were going getting pictures of different acts that no one else wanted to go watch. Alex would say he was going for a walk about 20 minutes later. Purely coincidence that you met up with him on his walk after you’d taken a photo or two.
Other times you snuck into each other's hotel rooms about an hour after you’d all gone your separate ways. But it was your nights in the hotels that you loved the most.
You got your privacy, and it was secure. The same as it was when he came to your house before the tour or when you went to his.
You loved being alone with him.
And tonight, all the other lads had gone out to a party somewhere and Alex had been faking an illness all day so he could stay in and they wouldn’t ask questions. They wouldn’t think it was weird you not going because you rarely went out with them.
They knew you valued your sleep too much.
So that was why you were alone in the back lounge with Alex tonight. And you’d honestly had one of the best nights being your normal cuddly selves.
You’d just watched a film with each other whilst being cuddled up on the sofa and you very nearly fell asleep in his embrace, but you weren’t wasting a full night alone with him. After the film you both went out and got yourselves a takeout from a place just down the road.
You made it into a full date night which was fucking adorable. After food, you coexisted normally for a little while, Alex letting you lean back against him whilst you edited your photos on your night off.
You were a pro at it after so many years, so it took no longer than an hour for the ones promotion wanted of them all. Alex was quite happily watching you edit the pictures of him and his friends as he absentmindedly played with your hair, placed random little kisses on your neck or on the back of your head, and at one point he even sang.
It was a really beautiful song, one that you’d only heard once before when he let you listen to the album when it was finished.
You only knew the title because he said it often in the song but having your boyfriend softly sing Mad Sounds into your ear as you worked you wished you could freeze time and appreciate it. His voice was amazing as everyone knew, but hearing it so close and so soft, it was hard to keep shivers from running down your spine.
“Such a beautiful song Al.” You smile closing your laptop as you’d finished what you needed to do and he’d finished singing.
You turn to him a bit more and he smiles back at you, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. “Like you then.” Alex grins before pressing his lips to yours.
You smile into the kiss as the comment was very adorable of him, but when you pulled back bullying was in order, “You’re so cheesy.”
“You love it.” Alex grins as you get up and put your laptop away, but you grab your small Lumix camera and come to sit back down.
You grin as you come and sit back down, this time straddling his lap so you could get a few close ups of him looking cute. You bring the viewfinder up to your eye and once you see his adorable smile on the other side of the lens you capture the perfection.
“I do.” You grin back at him.
You like that Alex never shies away from you when you have a camera in your hand. You knew after this much time that he trusted you with what you were capturing, especially in these moments together they wouldn’t be seen by anyone else.
“However…” You say, putting the camera down for a moment, “Me and your music are nothing alike.”
Alex frowns at you a little then, his hands running up your thighs, pulling you a little closer, “I think a certain track and our text message history would claim otherwise.”
You roll your eyes then knowing he was talking about Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High? But when he grins at your eye roll you quickly snap another picture of him.
“I guess I shouldn't have got involved with a lyricist if I didn't want songs about me, should I?” You ask with a knowing smirk as you pull the camera away from your face.
You don’t bother checking it on the screen as it pops up, you already knew it would be a good picture. Not because you took it, but because it was of him and he was happy.
“No, probably not.” Alex chuckles as he takes the camera from you before raising it to take one of you.
You give him a pointed look after the photograph and joke, “You better hope you get to release your B-sides before Matt catches on.”
“I’ll be murdered, I have no doubt.” Alex grins and you burst out laughing at him being dramatic.
Alex thinks you look gorgeous though, so he raises your camera back up and you let him, not having a problem with him taking your picture. You smile at first but after he gets the first picture, he keeps looking through the viewfinder so you then puff your cheeks out jokingly and move closer to the camera.
Alex chuckles from behind it and he moves the camera from his face so you can both giggle together. He steals a kiss from you which you gladly accept, and you can't help but bite your lip afterwards.
He just looked so good. His skin was flawless these days and the fact that all of his fair wasn’t around his face anymore made his stunning jawline stand out. His brown eyes that were usually always hidden by sunglasses were shining brightly and the smile on his lips really showed how happy he was.
And seeing him happy made you happy. You could safely say you truly loved him. You’d do anything to keep you both as happy as you are now.
Whilst you’re deep in thought, Alex raises your camera back up to his eye which breaks your daydreaming about his features and you playfully roll your eyes.
“Smile for me Angel.” He asks and you do for one shot because he is pretty cute and pretty impossible not to smile at.
“Beautiful.” Alex confirms when he quickly looks down at the screen seeing the picture, he just caught of you.
“Like you then.” You use his own words against him with a playful smile.
Alex then puts your camera down to the side and with his newly free hand he cups the back of your neck and mumbles a ‘very good’ before bringing you in for a kiss. Playful and sweet were the only ways to describe it.
You just adored this alone time with him, sitting on his lap at the back bus, which was usually a very crowded area for you all to use, and you were kissing each other like it was just yesterday you got together. Everything still felt just as exciting and new and you never wanted his lips off yours.
You loved that it was you who got to run your fingers through his hair and pull on it when you wanted a kiss to carry on longer, like you just did. You loved the way his large hands held your hips, keeping you close to him.
But mostly you loved that he was always wanting affection. You’d not been in a relationship for a very long time so it made you nervous initially but there was something about Alex that you craved, and his affection was definitely one of those things that you were addicted to now.
You never wanted moments like these to end. But of course, that wouldn’t be realistic.
“I fucking knew it!”
You both pull away from each other to see Jamie with his jaw agape by the door. And your heart dropped to the ground.
“Jamie.” Alex says before Jamie can run out of the room.
“Oh I can’t fucking believe it.” He says, still stood there with his jacket in his hand but he looks like his whole world has ended. “I’ve gotta go get Matt.”
The panic in you rises then and you practically just off Alex’s lap and grab your intruders’ arm before he can turn back, “Jamie no, don’t.” You plead, pulling on his arm to come into the room.  
He turns back towards you then and he lets himself be pulled into the room. His head is still baffled though which leads him to say rather loudly, “You’re shagging, aren’t you?”
Your eyes go wide at the volume of his voice and you scorn, “Jamie.” quietly as you pull him further into the room so you can shut the door once more.
His eyes go wide impossibly wider though and he gasps, “You are!” looking from you to Alex who was still sat down.
“Matt is going to fucking murder you.” Jamie chuckles looking Alex dead in the eye as you ensure that no one else is on the bus by looking down through the bunks (thankfully all the curtains were still open) to the front lounge and you saw no one down the other end.
“Jamie please don’t start.” You hear Alex say, evidently not wanting this to get out of hand.
You close the door and turn around to the still very shocked man and say, “I’ll explain just please shut up and sit down.”
So you did explain that you’d been seeing each other for months. Jamie was shocked because he only started to suspect something a month into the tour.
But after he’d let the information sink in, it wasn’t really so shocking anymore. Which is why you’d got onto the conversation of why it was still a secret after you’d been going out for months.
“You know he’d be fine.” Jamie tells you, sitting down opposite you both, trying to persuade you to tell Matt. “He wouldn’t actually kick off, you can both do what you like.”
“It’s not really just about Matt.” You tell him honestly from your point of view. “It’s about all of you making jokes and shit for months. I didn’t want that.”
“Y/N we wouldn’t do that.” Jamie says leaning towards the both of you from the other sofa, but you’re having none of it.
“Cookie you’re the worst one for it.” You say with a pointed look.
You then point to Alex, who you were sitting beside now and say, “I remember what you were like with him and Arielle.”
And it was a lot. They joked about it all the time to start with, and it was annoying for you, let alone Alex and her.
“Him and Arielle were different.” Jamie states, a little on the defensive side, but then he follows it up with, “You don’t make funny videos for a living, I actually respect you a hell of a lot for putting up with us.”
You shake your head and tell the tipsy, but now definitely more sober man, “You’re not that bad.”
“Oh, we are.” Jamie says and you laugh because you were just being polite.
They could be a handful sometimes if you were telling the truth. But you wouldn’t change anything about any of them. You loved them all because of who and how they were, and they were all your family.
Jamie follows up with, “I'm genuinely surprised you actually want to go out with him after knowing what he’s like.”
You giggle at that and just pout as you joke, “I know, but you’re taken Cookie, so I went for the next best thing.”
“Hey” Alex scoffs, looking towards you, pretending to be offended.
You and Jamie just laugh at him though, and you intertwine your fingers when you grab Alex’s hand to hold as a little apology. You’d be sure to actually swear to him that you were joking later though.
Jamie notes the gesture and he can see the little knowing smiles on your faces and his heart melts a bit for the both of you. You were both pretty cute with each other to be fair and the more that Jamie had been playing detective about it he thought that the two of you would be a pretty good match.
So he was genuinely happy for the both of you.
“And as for the jokes…” Jamie continues, causing the two of you to look back around at him. But Jamie looks at you as he says, “If it upset you, you know I wouldn't do it”
“I don’t mind the odd joke about me sucking his dick or whatever, but I’ll go crazy if that's all I hear about for the next year.” You tell him honestly.
You could handle jokes, it wasn’t anything new. They joked about your first boyfriend to Matt for the longest time and had done each time you got a new one.
You could take a joke. But not 24/7 like this tour would promise it would.
“Okay, never say that again.” Jamie pleads, the shocked look not coming off his face, but you and Alex just laugh at his reaction.
His head goes into his hands for a moment but afterwards he looks at you both and says, “Yeah, you don’t have anything to worry about, joke wise, until I get comfortable with this dynamic because that was strange coming from your mouth.”
“You’ve heard me say worse than that, surely?” You ask, very amused by his discomfort.
Jamie just blankly says, “Not about Alex… And you’re practically my sister.”
“Sorry Cookie. I’ve got a right to say rude jokes about my boyfriend when I want to. He can say ones about me but from your reaction I don’t think you want him to.”
He then looks Alex dead in the eye and begs, “Please don’t.”
You both just end up laughing.
~*~*~*~
You decided after that night that you would think about being more open to telling Matt about everything that was going on. Thankfully Jamie was quite respectful of the whole thing and actually kept your secret.
He didn’t make things awkward for you both either, if anything he helped you both out a lot. Sometimes when you were out with them Jamie would keep the others entertained so you could escape with Alex for a little bit on a ‘fag break’ which would consist of stolen kisses.
Other times when you were all out, Jamie would lowkey guilt trip Alex into going back with you early so no one asked questions which you loved him even more for.
During this month that Jamie knew though, you’d been trying to come up with a way to tell Matt. Because you weren’t stupid, you knew this couldn’t go on for much longer.
Each time you tried to tell him though something would happen which meant that you didn’t. Once you froze, unable to tell him because you just genuinely didn’t know how to.
It wasn’t exactly something that you could drop on him and expect him to be fine with. Your nerves probably didn’t help but other times when you worked up the courage to do it, other things would go wrong.
Matt was in a foul mood one of the times, so that was a no go. Miles and Nick came in and interrupted another time before you got the words out and it was like a never ending series of unfortunate events that stopped you.
Alex had politely offered to do it after a few failed attempts but you said that you’d be more comfortable doing it. Partly because you thought that you should be the one to tell your brother and partly because you knew Matt wouldn’t hit you.
But there had been multiple failed attempts since then so you thought that you may actually make it to the end of the summer festivals at this rate.
It was nearing the end of August now and you were all staying in a hotel again tonight as you’d got to the city they were performing in the day before the show. You were pleased because it meant another night in with Alex so after you’d all had your dinner downstairs you’d given him your spare key card for your room so he could come to you whenever he liked.
Alex told you that he was looking forward to using it and he was excited to spend another night with you. It warmed your heart hearing that and when he rang you at 9:30 saying he was just running to the shop to grab the both of you some snacks, he said he’d let himself in about 20 minutes when he got back.
And that is why you were a little surprised when there was knocking on the door about 10 minutes later. You thought that was fast for a start but you gave him the key card so you wouldn’t have to get up and answer the door.
“Come in!” You shout across the room hoping he would hear you.
It seems that he does but his muffled response is, “It’s locked.” when the handle doesn’t budge.
You roll your eyes and mumble, “That’s why I gave you a key.” under your breath as you get up off your bed and head to the door.
And you’re about to scorn him but when the door opens you don’t find your boyfriend. You find your brother.
“Hey.” Matt says, stepping into your room after the door opens.
You’re shocked by his presence but try and act as calm as possible when you say, “Hey, you alright?”
Thank fuck you were still dressed. And thank fuck Alex wasn’t already here because you didn’t want him to find out like that.
But then you realised he’d be here in 10 minutes or so. And that made you want to get Matt out as quickly as possible.
“I’m fine, are you?” Your brother asks once he picks up the complimentary chocolate that the hotel had put on your bed which you were saving for later.
Any other night you would have ripped the shit out of him for coming in and doing that but now was not the time. You were borderline panicking as you were about to be caught out. But you try and disguise that as best as possible.
“Yeah, great thanks.” But really you’re just thinking, Shit.
Your brother asks you, “What do you have planned for tonight?”
Thinking on your feet all you can come up with is, “Just editing more pictures.”
“Fancy blowing it off and watching Netflix with me?” Matt questions and you all of a sudden feel really guilty that you want him to leave as much as you do.
You pull a little bit of a face at his question and try to carry on your lie, “Oh, I would but I’m honestly not feeling all that great after tea, so I was just gunna get an early night after I’ve done a few more pictures.”
“Funny that.” Your brother states when you turn away from him to grab your laptop from your bag as he sits himself down at the end of your bed.
You move towards the little desk that was in the room though and ask, “What is?”
“Alex isn’t feeling too well either.”
Well shit. You were too alike for your own good, coming up with the same excuses without telling the other.
“Oh?” You question, shitting it at this point, so you just open up your MacBook to distract you. “Maybe it was something we ate downstairs?”
All your brother replied was, “Doubt that because I had the same thing as you both.”
You choose no response as your best response and just continue to pull up a picture of Matt you hadn’t finished editing on photoshop yet. Being creative always eased your nerves so hopefully him watching you edit a picture of him would distract him.
“Y/N.” Matt says, trying to gain your attention.  
You instead just carry-on messing with the photograph and suggest, “Maybe you should go check on our friend bro, could be being sick for all we know. Wouldn’t make for the prettiest show tomorrow”
“Y/N…” Matt says once more, and you know he wants you to look at him.
So you do and you see your brother sat on the end of your bed, looking at you. He asks in a serious yet calm tone, “Is Alex really ‘just a friend’ anymore?
Well. You guess you didn’t have to find a way to tell him anymore.
You sigh and shake your head, “No.” and as you close your laptop you tell the truth, “He’s a lot more.”
Matt can tell you’re serious straight away just by the way you were looking at him. And it makes him shake his head a bit in disbelief. He says calmly but in a tone that worries you, as he also runs a hand through his hair, “I knew it.”
“Please don’t be angry Matt.” You all but beg as you turn in your chair towards him more. “It’s my fault we didn't tell you sooner... I didn’t want things to be different with the group, so I was the one who wanted to keep it a secret.”
“You know you didn’t have to do that, right?” Matt has to ask you, feeling awful that you felt like you couldn’t tell him something. “I just want you to be happy... Al’s practically family so of course I want the same for him.”
“I know, I’m really sorry…” You trail off for a second, “It just got to a point where I didn’t know how to tell you and when I tried to things always got in the way.”
Matt nods completely understanding that. At least you wanted to tell him.
“When did it start?” Is the question Matt asks you next.
“New Year’s Day” You say quickly before wincing a little, hearing that it has been 8 months out loud.
You felt so bad.
Matt is shocked by that news too, “That long...? Really?”
“Yeah.” You nod, feeling awful, “I’m sorry.”
Matt ends up asking you a few more questions after that which were pretty much big brother sort of questions, making sure Alex was treating you right and stuff like that. Thankfully this had all gone very plain sailing and Matt was happy for you like you both knew he would be.
And he had forgiven you for not telling him for so long too which was a big relief. It felt like a massive weight off your shoulders.
So much so that you had to get up off your seat and give him a hug. Matt stood up for the embrace, so you got to hug him properly and it was such a lovely warm hug that you felt like you hadn’t had in such a long time.
Halfway through that long hug though, both you and Matt hear the door to your room unlock. You press your lips together and wince a little knowing exactly what is about to happen.
“Hey Y/N/N.” You hear Alex say from somewhere behind you and you let go of Matt and both of you look towards Alex now closing the door, not yet noticing the situation.  
After he closes the door though, he begins to say before he turns towards you, “I got you thes- oh”
Matt smiles though seeing your favourite flowers in his best friend’s hand. You can’t help but smile at the sight of them too, and his face falling realising Matt was here was a little funny too.
He looked a little scared.
“I’m glad you’re treating her right Al.” Matt tells him, and Alex struggles with his words for a second and he looks to you for help.
“I just told him.” You nod confirming it out loud for him.  
Alex’s eyes go from you back to his best mate then and he starts, “Listen Matt, I’m sor-”
But Matt interrupts, “No no I don’t need an apology.” He shakes his head, “Just don’t fuck it up.” He then looks between the both of you, “Either of you... Because that would make for a really awkward tour.”
You smile at that and say, “I don’t plan on doing, and I know he doesn’t either.”
Matt grins at you then and he looks back to Alex and takes a few steps towards him. He points a finger to his chest and says very seriously, “Make her cry Turner, and I'll castrate you.”
Alex slowly nods, “Noted”
Matt must then break into a grin because Alex does too, and your brother then heads over to the door.
Matt turns back towards you and says, “Have a nice night love birds.” and walks out with a grin and he shuts the door behind him.
Both you and Alex stay silent for a second looking at the door almost in disbelief that the thing you’d both waited 8 months to do, was now over. Alex turns around to look at you and you’re both just awkwardly smiling at each other.
Alex puts the plastic bag filled with snacks down on the table he was standing beside and says, “Well you could have pre warned me.”
You shake your head, “I didn’t know he was coming. But he asked me to watch Netflix with him and apparently I gave the same excuse as you.”
“Oh fuck. Clever, aren’t we?” Alex chuckles a little and you nod in response.
Alex holds up the flowers he got for you and you can’t help but smile, “Well, I was hoping to surprise you with these, but you definitely won on the surprise front tonight.”
You giggle at that and you lean up to kiss him after taking the flowers from him, “Thank you my love.”
You briefly put them down whilst you say, “At least we don’t have to stay away from each other anymore.”
“Never going to let you go now Darling.” Alex chuckles before picking you up in a hug and spinning you around. You can’t help but giggle.
The next morning you both ventured downstairs to have breakfast with the others and found that they were all there waiting for you at your table with knowing looks. You and Alex just had grins on your faces knowing Matt would have gone around and told them all before you even got the chance.
They were all of course happy for you but of course you got some jokes and some questions. Jamie had got a bit used to it now, so he was starting with his jokes in private to you but when you sat down, he asked the both of you, “Suck his dick last night?”
“Wow, you’ve been waiting for that one, haven’t you?” You laugh, sitting yourself down next to him, immediately reaching for the menu so you could see what was on offer for breakfast.
The table obviously all laughed, and it was all fun and playful as you imagined it would be. You were glad Matt wasn’t cringing at all the details that you were giving out, as it was things like how far back moments happened, like when Alex asked you out officially and stuff like that.
All of the lads seemed really happy for you and even some of your other friends that were a part of the crew were shocked but buzzing for you. Alex got loads of people saying, ‘You better treat her right’ which made you laugh a lot.
But thankfully it was business as usual, just with the addition of getting to hold his hand and kiss him the odd time when you wanted. You’d rather most of your affection be in private though so not much had really changed on the social front.
Even when you were trying to be discrete about it, you didn’t find it too hard because you were still just the same Y/N and Alex. You’d been friends for years, so the dynamic shift wasn’t all that drastic.
You both were just the same friends that you could walk next to each other and it just be normal. You didn’t have to be touching each other all the time, you’d go walk with Miles or Nick and just go spend time with Alex every now and then.
You were glad that things never felt too different.
You guess the only thing that marginally was different was the first night back on the bus after you’d been staying in the hotel. You were all heading to bed and when you came out of the bathroom after changing, you headed to your own bunk, but then realised you didn’t actually need to.
Alex’s bunk was the top bunk in the middle, so you walked right past your own and straight to his. He was just in his boxers like most of the lads usually were when they slept on this bus.
“Hey.” You say with a big smile.
“Hey.” Alex grins, his messy hair almost falling into his eyes. He makes you smile when he says, “Was just about to come kiss you”
“Vile.” You hear Miles gag from the bunk directly below and you look down at him and frown.
“Miles, he kisses you... What are you on about?” You question, not understanding.
They were literally always touchy feely with each other which you thought was cute and adorable. They’d always been great mates and were close enough to actually perform together using one microphone.
So it made you laugh when Alex lent down over his bunk to say, “Little offended there mate.” to his friend.
Nick bursts out laughing at your backchat and Alex’s hurt and you chuckle along before you glance back to your boyfriend. Once his head was the right way up again you smile at him.
“I can join you for the night now, right?” You ask him and you love the smile that comes to his lips.
He nods, “Course you can.”
So Alex shuffles back in the bunk, enough for you to comfortably jump up and once you lay beside him you can’t stop grinning. It definitely felt weird to be in a bunk with him for everyone to see but it definitely makes you happy, even if it was a tight squeeze.
“Hi” You grin at him as he’s on his side, his back pressed to the wall of the bunk, looking down on you.
“Hey beautiful.” Alex says before he leans down and kisses you.
You of course kiss him back but after a second you quickly part so you can reach down to the curtain and pull it closed. You doubt that Nick wanted to watch from the bunk opposite.
As soon as your lips were back attached to Alex’s though you hear Nick whisper shout to everyone, “It’s starting!”
If your eyes were open, you would have rolled when but you just try to keep the smile off your lips, so you don’t ruin the kiss. And thankfully you both controlled yourselves enough to hold your smiles so you could indulge in a very nice kiss.
“If I hear anything come from that bunk, you don’t want to know what will happen.” Matt calls out loudly and you break apart from the kiss to laugh.
It seems like everyone else found it comical too, but it was even funnier when Jamie asked him, “What are you gunna do? Cry?”
“Fuck off Cookie.” Your brother says back, and you chuckle at that too.
You and Alex keep your curtain closed as the rest of them chat away and you get yourselves comfortable in the bunk. You are basically cuddled together in the bunk, with the duvet over you both, you still on your back and Alex tucked into your neck as he lay on his side.
You were glad you didn’t feel like you were about to roll out of the bunk, so it definitely made sense you were that way around. That and Alex quite liked to pick his head up every few minutes and trap you in another kiss.
A trap you certainly didn’t mind.
Usually when you all got in your bunks, curtains would stay open as you would all chat to each other and one by one curtains would close until you were all knackered and pass out until the next day. So, it wasn’t a shock that tonight you were all talking for quite a while, you and Alex just chatting to each other quietly in your bunk, liking the privacy that the curtain provided.
But after about 15 minutes someone shouted your name, popping yours and Alex’s bubble.
“Y/N?” You hear Jamie call you.
You smile knowing a joke was bound to come your way and respond, “Yeah?”
“I’ve got a question for you.” He informs and you can practically hear him smiling.
You grin at Alex and shout back to Jamie, “Okay, go on.”
“You know because you’re a photographer... Does that mean you take pictures of you and Alex in the bedroom?” Jamie asks teasingly and your immediately roll your eyes, but it doesn’t stop you from playing along.
“Shit.” You say jokingly loud, “How do they know?” You scorn Alex jokingly and he’s just silently laughing.
“Matt.” You call and joke, “Maybe don’t go through that SD card tomorrow.”
Earlier on he asked to see some of the pictures after the gig tonight and you said he could look through them before you started editing them tomorrow.
“I’ll burn it” Matt says back, and you just start silently giggling.
“What are you both up to in there?” You both hear Nick ask.
Alex says in a teasing voice, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Both of you have another few kisses in the time between those jokes and the next time you were heckled. But you were just cuddled when they next started joking.
“They are very quiet up there.” You both hear Miles say.
You shake your head and Alex sighs a little as you hear the rest of them chuckle.
“You doing good? You getting it up, Al?” Miles asks and you both feel him punch the top of his bunk, subsequently the bottom of yours.
You aren’t surprised when Alex doesn’t grace him with an answer.
“Very quiet indeed.” Nick laughs, more than likely looking down at Miles so they could share a laugh.
Jamie seems to jump in then with, “They are definitely biting their tongues.”
“Fuck off all of you.” Matt gets defensive but that just makes it comical.
You decided to upset your brother then by pretending to be annoyed when you scorn them, “You’re all really ruining the mood.”
Alex chuckles at that then, even though you weren’t doing anything. That is what made it funnier to him though.
“Sorry, do you need silence for Alex to get you off.” Jamie asks and it makes you roll your eyes at the question.
You reply, “No.” as an idea comes to mind.
“So you don't mind us carrying on talking then?” Miles asks teasingly. You can practically hear the smirk.
You backchat with, “Not if yous don't mind some noises too?”
“Fire away Hun.”
You brother almost shouts in distress, “No don’t. Both of you stay very fucking quiet.”
Jamie defends you both then, “Oh right so it’s alright when you and Breana fuck but when it’s Alex and Y/N you’re suddenly a prude.”
An argument starts out then with Matt defending himself and then Jamie defending you and so on and then it becomes a big thing. But you find it quite funny that Matt is getting annoyed, so you decide to make your own joke too.
“Al” You whisper, and he looks up at you for you to ask him, “Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?”
“Yeah, I watched it with you on the last tour.” He whispers back, reminding you.
You remember him doing now. You’d all had a movie night on the bus during the Suck It And See tour and because you were a little depressed they let you choose the film and you chose that one because it made you laugh.
“Okay, good.” You smirk knowing exactly what you were about to do.
Your boyfriend doesn’t yet get it though, so he asks in a whisper, “Why?”
“Alex” You say a bit louder, a smile you couldn’t hold back drawing to your face.
“What babe?” He asks you and you have to close your eyes, so you don’t break and start laughing.
You try to make your voice sound sultrier and you fake moan louder, “Oh god.”
At that though the boys arguing dies down as Alex whispers, “What are you doing?”
You hold your laugh and, “Alex.” falls from your lips in a breathy moan. And it’s loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Y/N, fuck off.” You hear your brother shout, clearly not amused.
You however come straight back with a very load moan of, “Alex fuck.”
“Matt I’m not touching her.” Alex shouts and you open your eyes to see Alex propped up to the side of you, looking at you like he was scared.
You don’t give it a second thought before you gasp even louder, “Right there Al”
You can hear Miles cackling below you both and you don’t let up with the moans you’re making despite wanting to laugh too. Next you raise your hand up to the ceiling of the bunk as if you’re using it to brace yourself, “Fuck.”
“Oh my god, don’t stop.” You plead in a desperate way as you look to your mortified boyfriend.
“Y/N shut up.” Alex whispers, but it just makes you carry on more.
The fake moans fall from you lips, filling the bunks with your pleads and gasps. Alex is still mortified, but the laughter coming from Jamie, Nick, and Miles just fuels you on.
You go fully Sally Albright on them. A series of loud moans leave your lips like:
“Yes Alex yes!”
“Faster.”
“Oh god.”
“Don’t stop!”  
Alex shouts over your loud voice, “Matt, I fucking swear I’m not touching her!”
The way you moan, “Fuck Al” seems to just dismiss what Alex said straight away though.
“Stop!” Matt shouts back, obviously angry now.
You immediately contradict in a fake moan, “Don’t stop!”
“Alex!” You all but scream as you bang on the ceiling of the bunk again a few times.
You go to take it a step further, but you’re apparently not allowed, “Fuck, Alex plea-”
Your boyfriend puts his hand over your mouth so you can’t carry on. However, you just start dramatically fake moaning, and it sounds a lot dirtier because his hand is over your mouth.
You carry on until you get a rise out of Matt despite Alex pleading with you to stop with a scared look on his face. But you know your brother was about to stop so you just looked at your boyfriend’s gorgeous brown eyes and carried on.
And before you know it Matt is swearing getting himself out of his bunk and the curtain of yours is practically ripped open. As soon as you see sight of your brother you stop the fake moans completely as if it never happened.
Alex holds both his hands up in the air as if he’s being held at gunpoint. Matt can quite clearly see you're fully clothed and have a massive shit eating grin on your face.
“Damn that was good, thanks Al.” You joke to your boyfriend but you’re looking at your brother.
Matt holds up a finger at you and warns, “You’re on very thin ice right now.”
He looks angry and embarrassed all at once. He’s bright red but looks absolutely fuming so you can’t stop your laugh.
You giggle questioning, “Why because you know your best mate can fuck your sister?”
Jamie bursts out laughing at that and you crumble into a louder laugh.
“Stop it.” Alex gasps, playfully hitting your shoulder once again looking petrified as he glanced from you to your brother.
“I don’t need to hear whatever that was.” Matt scorns you and you’re very quick to give him some backchat.
“Did you just admit to us all that you’ve never given Bre an orgasm? Because if you don’t know what those sounds were then I feel sorry for her.” You joke back trying to be cocky.
Jamie’s laugh echoes through the bus and you can hear Miles cackling from below. You could see Nick gasping for breath in a fit of laughter and Alex gasps in shock from beside you.
“You need to fuck off Y/N.” Matt gives you one more death glare before he stalks back to his bunk.
“Oh pull the drum stick out your arse!” You say getting a little annoyed at how your brother couldn’t take a joke. “You better hope our hotel rooms are never next to each other.”
“Shut the fuck up. I won’t tell you again.” Matt says as he gets back into his bunk and shuts his curtain in a strop.
“Aw…” You pout turning back to Alex in your bunk. You give him a quick kiss and then joke, “Better save the next orgasm for the next hotel Darling.”
“I’m begging you to stop talking.” Alex shakes his head, still looking at you a little shocked that you’d actually done what you just had.  
“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from Matt.” You giggle, and you say louder so the bus can hear you, “He’s not that scary... Just gotta bring up the time he shat himself when we were in the bat house in Chester Zoo and he quietens right down.”
You all hear Matt shout, “Fuck off!”
You and everyone else on the bus, bar Matt, started laughing then and you were still giggling away when you cuddled yourself into your boyfriend's body. Jamie and Miles begin to applaud you during their continued laughter which just makes your giggles difficult to silence.
Alex is still half shocked as he cuddled you into him, loving your humour but not actually believing you just faked an orgasm that loud on a tour bus surrounded by all your mates and your brother. He shakes his head and kisses the top of yours before telling you, “You’re gunna be the death of me.”
“Least it’ll be a fun death.” You joke and Alex laughs.
“You’re right.” Alex chuckles when you look up at him. You're grinning like an idiot and Alex tells you, “I love you, you psycho.”
“Love you too, weirdo.” You grin and proceed to kiss him sweetly.
After the kiss though you actually want to go to sleep in your boyfriend's arms peacefully. So despite Nick, Miles, and Jamie all still chuckling away, you turn back towards the curtain to redraw it and as you do you catch Jamie’s eye.
You wink at him before drawing the curtain and Jamie wolf whistles, which has you and Alex giggling away together as you cuddle yourself into him once more. You kiss Alex once more before playfully calling out to the others who were still laughing, “Night boys”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Thank you for reading x
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years ago
Text
By My Side (Part 4)
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Summary: The reader goes to dinner with her step brothers, Michael and Nick, as well as Jensen. When Jensen starts to see how her brothers treat her though, Jensen and the reader have a heart to heart and start to try a different tactic with their relationship...
Masterlist
Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen x reader
Word Count: 3,700ish
Warnings: language, sibling angst, minor violence, mentioned prior deaths
A/N: Enjoy!
_________
Monday Evening
“Hey pipsqueak,” said Nick, your arms crossed from where you sat on the couch trying to watch TV. “Since dad and your mom are at dinner at that fancy place, maybe you could take us out?”
“Yeah,” said Michael, still texting away on his phone at the other end of the couch. “There’s that steak place dad said was good. Y/N, you want to have dinner with your big brothers?”
“Not particularly,” you said. 
“She still hate us?” said Nick as he came up to the back of the couch, ruffling your hair and placing his hands on your shoulders. “You gotta let that shit go. We were kids.”
“I was a kid. You were both twenty years old and you two harassed me until I moved out, well past when you knew better. Now that I have money, you two-”
“What was that?” asked Nick and you swallowed. “Come on. Let’s get dinner.”
“Whatever. Jensen! We’re going to dinner wherever you are,” you called out. “Jensen!”
He came down the far hallway near where your office was, his hand behind his back on his holster but you shook your head.
“We’re going out,” you said as he dropped his hand down. “To eat. We’ll be back in a couple hours.”
“I’m going with you,” he said. You thought that was odd of him but he made his jaw hard and clenched it. “It’s part of my contract. I go where you go.”
“He’s perky isn’t he,” said Michael as he stood up. You rolled your eyes and went towards the front door to get your purse.
Half an hour later the three of you were seated with Jensen sat at the bar close by and keeping an eye on you.
“Surprised he didn’t ask to sit with us,” mumbled Nick. “Why do you have a bodyguard again?”
“After my old manager tried to have me kidnapped for publicity,” you said.
“You know how to pick ‘em,” said Michael. You gripped the menu tight and reviewed it, already knowing your step brothers wouldn’t even pretend to offer to pay for their meals. You never quite understood them. Chuck was always good to your mom and nice to you. You weren’t particularly close but you didn’t dislike each other either. You got along, he asked about you, you spent time together whenever you visited them. Chuck had always been okay in your book. His children though you could have sworn were adopted with how horrible they could be to you.
“How much you want to bet me I could get that douchey little bodyguard over here in less then five seconds?” asked Nick, a smirk on his face you didn’t like.
“He’s just doing his job. Let him do it in peace.”
“I still don’t get why you have one,” said Michael as he looked over the wine list. “Compared to the other girl on the show, you’re like, not good looking.”
“Dude, I’m your sister. You’re not supposed to find me good looking.”
“I know that, dipshit. I mean, you’re just, plain,” he said. “You’re not the main lead. That’s probably why.”
“I’m co-lead. We have no main lead.”
“But you’re second on the call sheet credits thing,” said Nick.
“Cause Gen got hired before me.”
“She’s still hotter than you,” mumbled Nick.
“She’s married and they’re both my best friends.”
“I didn’t say I want to fuck her. Relax. You’re always so uptight,” said Nick. You bit your tongue and weren’t surprised when Michael ordered a few hundred dollar bottle of wine. You got the twenty dollar one you normally did that tasted just as good and Nick went for an expensive Scotch you’d never heard of. 
“Oh,” you said to the waiter before he could leave. “The man on the end of the bar there, his drinks and meal are on me.”
“No problem,” he said as he took off. 
“She’s got no problem paying for his food,” muttered Michael.
“It’s part of his job. For him, this is a business expense,” you said. You gnawed the inside of your cheek and forced a smile. “The garlic bread is very good here if you guys want to get some.”
“Good with me,” said Michael. He gave you a smile, a genuine one before he was checking his phone again. You’d always liked Michael far more than Nick. On his own, Michael was a pretty decent guy. When he got with Nick though, and that was more often than not, even into adulthood, he was normally pretty unbearable.
“Working any big new clients?” you asked, your voice a tad too high but he ignored it while Nick went to the restroom.
“Potentially. I actually got a job offer in LA. Senior partner,” he said.
“That’s great,” you said, Michael smiling.
“You’re actually happy about that, for real,” he said.
“You’re incredibly smart. You always have been. I’m really happy you’re getting out of our little hometown and going to work at a bigger firm,” you said. “That’s a really big deal. You should be proud.”
“Here I thought you’d tell me not to move to your city,” he said.
“Why do you think I’d say that?” you asked.
“You don’t like us,” he said, nodding to the empty spot beside him. “You never have.”
“You guys are dicks most of the time. You skipped over the getting to know each other thing and went right into horrible dick older brothers.”
“We weren’t horrible. We still aren’t. I have worked cases that would make your skin crawl. We’re the Brady bunch compared to most people.”
“My dad died and I was so excited to have big brothers, you know? That year was so horrible and Chuck made mom stop crying and laugh again and I love him for that. But you guys...it doesn’t matter. I’m happy you’re getting a promotion, Michael.”
“Our mom died too that year,” he said, lowering his head.
“I know she did,” you said. “Forget I said anything.”
“So when do you go back to work?” asked Michael as Nick returned.
“A few months from now,” you said.
“What are you gonna do after that?” he asked.
“Honestly I’m not sure right now. I like TV but I might do movies. My options are pretty open,” you said. “How’s teaching going?”
“Always a joy,” said Nick, taking a long sip of his water. “I got tenure finally. Not sure if I’m gonna stay though. If Mikey moves out here I might take a position at UCLA.”
“Oh. So you’re thinking of moving out here too?” you asked. Nick narrowed his eyes and you you looked away. “Maybe mom and Chuck will come out if you guys do.”
“Maybe,” said Nick. Thankfully you spotted your waiter come back with your drinks and you were able to order your appetizer and dinner, already expecting a nearly thousand dollar bill thanks to their alcohol choices. 
“I’ll be right back,” you said. You excused yourself and walked over to the bar, Jensen sipping on a glass of beer while he half-watched a TV behind the bar.
“Require saving from your brothers?” he smirked to himself, turning before you could tap him on the shoulder.
“Why do you say that?” you asked, leaning against the padded bartop. 
“Just a vibe I get, you and Nick especially,” he said. “Nobody gets a pass from me.”
“He’s not a great older brother but he’s harmless,” you said.
“He intimidates you.”
“Like I said, he’s not great but the worst thing he’s ever done was leave me with a group of strange guys. Michael did the same thing. Otherwise they’re just like, crappy older brothers.”
“Crappy or something else? Like I said, nobody gets a pass from me.”
“Jensen. They would never hurt me. I swear on my life.”
“Michael wouldn’t. Nick...I’ll be keeping an eye on him, both of them, whether you want me to or not. I’m the asshole bodyguard after all,” he smirked again.
“Well, it sounds like they’re both gonna move out here soon so we’ll be seeing them more.”
“Lovely,” said Jensen. “So why’d you come over? Need a break from them?”
“Yes. Also, I already told the waiter but your drinks and food are all on me. Feel free to order whatever you want,” you said.
“I’ll stick to the one beer. I’m at work still,” he said.
“They have really good steak. The filet is amazing along with the green beans,” you said. Jensen smiled and played with his glass, swishing the ice cubes around. “The lobster macaroni is also a great side.”
“That’s a hundred dollar steak.”
“Jensen, you know I can afford it.”
“I also know how much you’re paying me. I can afford it.”
“Jensen. I’m your boss. I’m paying for it. Next time I want Taco Bell, you can pay at the drive through if it makes you feel better,” you said. He smiled, a soft gentle little smile you’d never seen on his face before. You returned it, Jensen staring at you before he shook his head and it fell away.
“I’m going to lose this argument, aren’t I.”
“Yeah, you are. I’d much rather pay for your meal than those two bimbos. I like you better,” you said.
“Must have a pretty low bar for them then,” he said.
“Why’d you stop talking to me? After the paparazzi guy?” you asked. He shrugged and wiped off a stray drop of condensation on his glass. “Please?”
“There’s a line I have to keep with you. We can be friendly but if something happens, I am in charge. There can be no doubts about that. I felt that I needed to step back and reaffirm that boundary.”
“We can keep the boundary. But we can be friends too. If you say hide, I’ll hide. If you say run, I’ll run. I know you think I’m a dumb actress but-”
“You’re not dumb. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met,” he said. You blinked and he offered a half smile. “You have an ability to push through panic and be logical. I know guys with all the training in the world that can’t do that. You’re not a dumb actress. It’s obvious that you were raised to be intelligent.”
“My point is, I will do what you tell me to when it’s those hard moments. But I have confidence that you were wrong before. You can like someone, maybe even care about them like a friend, and still be able to protect them. I actually think it’ll make you better at your job.”
“Give me one example of where that works. Just one.”
“Maybe you want to try talking to your bestie, Jared,” you said. “Or literally most anyone in a relationship anywhere.”
“Touche,” he said. He smiled and nodded. “No more cold shoulder.”
“Thanks.”
“So I should try the macaroni with my steak?” he asked.
“And the green beans. You get two sides. You can get however many you want actually. The dessert selection here is even better than the steak if you can believe it.”
“I’ll have to check it out,” he said. “But no green beans. Traumatic childhood incident with them.”
“I better not be attacked by the cabbage patch kids. They might just take you down,” you said, Jensen giggling to himself. “Oh, he does laugh. Good to know. The roasted truffle garlic fries are really good too.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I think I’ll check them out.”
“Do you want to sit with us?” you asked, nodding back towards the table.
“I better not. I don’t think your brothers like me very much,” he said. “I got a better vantage point over here anyways.”
“Vantage point?” you asked.
“Got a weird feeling is all. I want to stay sharp tonight,” he said. You nodded and turned to go, Jensen catching your bicep. “If something happens, what do you do?”
“Duck and cover and wait for you to get me,” you said.
“Good girl. You did read my instructions.”
“Yup. Even read the part about how to get out of your hands being tied behind your back. Unfortunately, I’m not flexible enough and my ass is too big for that,” you said. He chuckled and you smirked. “Oh you know it is.”
“I’m not opposed to that fact,” he said. You went wide eyed and he laughed. “My boss is hot, what can I say.”
“You better stick to the one drink after all, Ackles,” you said, laughing as you lightly whacked his arm. “Try the triple brownie sundae for dessert. You won’t regret it.”
“Thanks, Y/N.”
“I think I gained five pounds,” said Michael, stretching out in his seat nearly two hours later, the waiter bringing over the check. You frowned at the bill but it was what you were expecting. You stuck your card in the pocket and caught the waiter pretty quickly. It was getting late and you were tired. Even your step-brothers were getting quiet so you hoped to get home quickly.
The waiter returned and you wrote out a tip, sticking your card back in your wallet and purse. You stretched as you stood up, your step brothers taking their time to get to their feet. You headed over towards Jensen when the sound of glass shattering caught your attention. You turned your head and heard tires screeching outside, spotting that the window at the front of the restaurant was gone now. You barely saw the cop car driving by before you heard sharp little noises in the air and felt like you got hit by a truck. 
Suddenly you were on the ground, Jensen on top of you. Nick and Michael were ducked down under the table along with most everyone in the restaurant, some people at the bar hopping over the counter and diving behind the back. The whole place was silent and you all heard the front door to the place open abruptly. Jensen stood up in one smooth motion, his gun out and aimed, a shot ringing out a second later as someone yelled. A few seconds later there was a loud echo of feet, Jensen setting his gun on the ground and holding up his hands. Police filled in the place, two very angry looking officers rushing over to him and barking orders.
“It’s okay,” said Jensen to you as he knelt down.
Less than five minutes later he was released and some hostess was thanking him over and over still for stopping the guy that had come in looking for trouble. Jensen shrugged it off, only grazing the guy and the police pretty impressed with him for doing so. 
“Are we free to go?” asked Jensen, an officer nodding. He waved for you and your step-brothers to follow, Jensen driving the four of you back to your place quickly. Nick and Michael took their rental car back to their hotel, neither one much in the mood to talk after what had happened.
Jensen checked that the house was secure before he went to his room and shut the door. You weren’t sure if he was okay or not. He seemed pretty calm but he had shot a guy, if only barely. Instead of heading to your bedroom, you wandered down the hall to his area of the house. There was a guest suite there he used for his bed and bathroom but he rarely used it unless he was going to bed and he always, always told you when he was turning in for the night.
As you were about to knock on the door you heard the faint sound of a shower and nodded. He was simply cleaning up. It didn’t sound like a bad idea to yourself honestly. You went down the hall to your room, flipping on the light. It was a soft white in there, the wall behind the bed a shiplap that led up to wood beams going across the vaulted ceiling. Another light was flipped on in the bathroom and you stepped under the shower for a few minutes, washing off your face and skin. After five minutes you went out to the bedroom and over to the closet, finding a pajama shirt and shorts to slip into. Your hair was thrown up in a messy bun and you found your oversized fleece hoodie you occasionally slept in. Tucking it under your arm, you headed out of the room and back down the hall, Jensen’s door still shut.
“Jensen?” you said, knocking on the door lightly. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah,” he said. Carefully you pushed the door open, Jensen walking out of his bathroom in just his boxer briefs, wiping a towel over his head. He tugged it down and stared at you, your eyes going to his chest, legs and everywhere in between. 
“I uh, wanted to make sure you were alright,” you said, ripping your eyes away and meeting his gaze. He nodded and tossed his towel back into the laundry basket by the closet.
“I’m fine. You?”
“Yeah. I uh-”
“No need to be nervous around me,” he said.
“Right,” you said, Jensen walking right in front of you before stopping. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay and to say thanks.”
“It’s my job,” he said. 
“Still,” you said. “I...here. I thought you might like this.”
“A hoodie?” he asked as you handed him the fleece. “What’s this for?”
“S’my bad day hoodie. I wear it to bed sometimes. Makes me feel better,” you said with a shrug.
“Old boyfriend’s?” he asked as he pulled it on, a soft smile spreading across his cheeks. “It’s so soft. Thanks, Y/N.”
“You’re welcome,” you said.
“So was it the boyfriends? Or you get it for yourself?” he asked.
“It was a birthday present for my dad. He died the week before. I never got to give it to him.”
“I shouldn’t be wearing this,” he said, moving to take it off when you caught his wrists. He was so much stronger than you but he let you manhandle him and move his hands back to his sides.
“It fits you better than it ever did me. Besides, I think you’re a little on edge and not telling me which is fine. It’s good for that,” you said. “I want you to keep it.”
“Y/N, I can’t keep something like this,” he said. You stared at him, Jensen swallowing. “It’s important to you.”
“Yes. But you gave me your blanket and wouldn’t let me return it. Fair is fair,” you said.
“Y/N-”
“S’an order, Jensen. Keep it.”
“Yes mam,” he said quietly.
“I hate when you call me that,” you said, moving your hands away from him.
“I know you do,” he said, a quick smirk crossing his face. “Why aren’t you using this yourself tonight?”
“I got my blanket. I’m good,” you said.
“It doesn’t explain why you’re giving me this though.”
“Lately, something else has been making me feel better and safe. My dad would have liked you.”
“Your father was a good person. A brave person,” said Jensen. 
“You know how he died,” you said, Jensen returning a nod. “I used to be really angry at him. Why’d he have to go help that woman? He could have walked past and been alive. But since I got older, if I was that woman being attacked, I would pray for a man like that to come help me. I know he was good.”
“I will do my very best to be that man for you,” he said. 
“I know you will. If you need something, come get me,” you said.
“Y/N,” he said just as you spun around. “May I have the morning off? You will be with family and my sister is in town for the day for work. I’d like to get lunch with her if I could.”
“Take the day,” you said with a smile, looking back over your shoulder. “She can come to dinner if you like.”
“She’s got a flight back at five thirty,” he said. “Thanks though.”
“It’s no problem,” you said. “Goodnight, Jensen.”
“Goodnight,” he said. You pulled his door shut after yourself and went down to your own bedroom to get under the covers. You stared up at the ceiling, hearing a light pitter patter on the rooftop. Rain was so rare in LA that you normally welcomed it when it came around. It reminded you of back home in a way.
A text popped up on your phone just as you were closing your eyes. It was from Gen and was a link to some news article about the restaurant, a picture of you and Jensen front and center.
You wrote back you were fine and turned off your phone, knowing you’d have to deal with questions in the morning.
________
A/N: Read Part 5 here!
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sunjaesol · 4 years ago
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clandestine meetings and longing stares
juke secret dating au | title: illicit affairs // taylor swift | a middle of the night scribble
When twelve year old Julie Molina got a stern talk from her father that she wasn't allowed to date until college, the tween had no qualms with it. The only boy she's ever liked had been Sokka from Avatar and that was it. Real boys didn't interest her. 
Until she turned sixteen and caught sight of Luke Patterson. 
In the years between, she had small crushes here and there. Lance, Nick, Noah. None, however, competed with storm that erupted in her stomach each time Luke smiled at her - her heart in a constant frenzy. 
It was the beginning of junior year when he randomly sat next to her in music class and brought out all the bravado. It shouldn't have been cute. Julie should've rolled her eyes, dismissed his cute smirk, but she simply couldn't. The shimmering green of his eyes and the nice laugh was too alluring, too attractive. Soon enough, Julie was crushing on him hard. Which was fortunate, since he very much liked her as well, something he never hid from her. 
("Watch out, Julie," he joked during one of their first conversations. "The charm is gonna make you get a crush on me!") 
Luke kissed her two weeks after, chastely and secretly under the bleachers. Her infatuated mind forgot in that moment how she wasn't even allowed to look at a guy and eagerly kissed him back. It had been her first kiss and wow - what a perfect one at that. 
A beat later, she realised her mistake and told him about her dad's stupid rule. His face had crashed for all of ten seconds when a mischievous grin crawled on his lips (an expression that would get her into serious trouble one day) and said: "Why tell him?" 
Had it been any other boy, she would've shaken her head and regret kissing him. But this was Luke. She really liked Luke. The idea of not being with him, of not seeing where this could go, was a greater fear than her father's disappointment. In response, she snatched him back into a kiss he all too hungrily went along with. 
Rule #1: Don't date! Broken, busted, thrown out the window with a smile. 
It started off easy. At school, no one had to worry. She sat with him at lunch and let herself be coaxed under the bleachers and snuggled into his embrace at the end of the day. On the parking lot, she could pretend she was simply saying goodbye to her boyfriend and not going home to lie in her dad's face about why she was so overly chipper all of a sudden. 
(Luke made her so ridiculously happy it was unfair. Each time he surprised her with a hug, her feet lifted from the ground; each time they kissed, his thumbs grazed her cheeks like she was a precious gem; each time she came up with a clever lyric, he gave her the toothiest grin and called her all the cute nicknames he could think of. Boss, baby, babe, Lyric Queen.) 
God, she was complete mush for this boy. Sometimes she wondered if she was doing enough, not quite matching his overt display of affection, but she knew she must be doing something right if he never stopped smiling when she talked. That his eyes held a certain softness, timidness, reserved for her only. 
They outgrew school quickly. Both wanted to go on dates without raising suspicion, Luke wanted to come over and just be with her without causing havoc. 
"Why does the rule exist anyway?", he asked at the end of a cool December day. 
Julie toyed with the lapels of his red shacket. "It's dumb. I mean, I get it, but it's dumb." Sighing, she explained his reasoning. "He wants me to fully focus on school so that I can get into a good college. Once I secured that, then I'm allowed to have fun."
Luke frowned. "I- I guess I kind of get it."
Her eyes rolled teasingly. "You don't even want to go to college." 
"Correction: I wanna go to frat parties and have the college experience-" 
"Without the classes part," she deadpanned. His face fell flat, a giggle of her own following. 
His frown returned, a look she hated seeing. "You don't think he'll… I don't know, let go of that rule when he sees we're good?" His calloused hands slipped from her waist to softly cradle her face. Julie sighed, leaning into the touch. Resisting Luke and everything he did was hard. A smile twitched on his lips. "Would be pretty dope to come through the front door and kiss my girlfriend."
Her heart clenched at his confession. It would be amazing, but it sounded so unbelievable that it could easily be taken as a joke. Dad would go absolutely insane if she pulled something like that. Hey dad! Don't mind me as I jump into the arms of my boyfriend and he kisses me like a heartthrob from the movies! 
She should've known Luke would try something. His impulsivity was an admirable trait, she found, though the pebbles hitting her window past midnight have her such a fright that she cursed for a beat how one track minded he could be. Until she caught sight of him. Eyes twinkling in the moonlight, a wide smile, his casual stance. He pointed at her and she nodded, grabbing her phone to text him there was a ladder by the garage. 
Quiet like a ghost and quick like a fox, Luke snuck into her room, feet falling onto the floor with a soft thud. 
Butterflies raged in her stomach. Her secret boyfriend was here, in her room, right now, with her father sleeping just down the hall. 
"What're you doing here?", she whispered, already breathless from having him near. 
His nose scrunched up. "Trying to be romantic. Should I have called you first?" 
She shook her head. "It's fine. Maybe next time. It's-" Her arms slung around his shoulders, heart hammering a mile a minute. Her pyjamas were nothing special, an oversized pullover and sweatshorts, but it felt oddly intimate to be so cozy together. His own faded t-shirt was from a zoo in Oregon and his sweatpants softer than any of the ones she owned. Julie almost asked to borrow them, if it wasn't for his lips to swallow the words with a warm kiss. 
Her fingers slipped into his hair. Yeah. This was better than talking. 
It soon became routine. Every other week, Luke would text her a moon emoji and then climb into her room around midnight. They'd kiss and cuddle, Luke often leaving by five am and then making a whole show at school as if he hadn't seen her. Julie thought it was cute. If she could, she'd return the favour and go to his place, but Luke assured her she did not want that and, consequently, her father would just know. Unfortunately, she didn't have Luke's agility like some parkour champ. 
"Trust me, Jules, I don't mind," he told her at lunch while stealing a cherry tomato. "I like sneaking in."
Alex shot him a look. "You like feeling like the main character of a movie, that's what."
"You brainwashed me with romcoms, so it's your fault, dude,' Luke retorted, grinning when the blonde flipped him off. 
They got cocky though. Julie knew her dad would be gone during the day for a photography gig in Santa Monica, all the way on the other side of Los Angeles. It was the perfect excuse to get Luke over. Excited, Julie opened the front door for him with a flourish and did a silly courtesy. 
"Your first time using my door," she teased. "Must feel special."
His cocky nod made her roll her eyes. "Super special," he replied gravely, playing along. "She's been begging for me."
Her expression turned sour. "I haven't been begging for you." 
His smirk widened, tugging on a curl as he slipped past her. "Was I talking about you?" 
He didn't, but he did start making out with her the second they were in the safety of her bedroom, so she knew there wasn't much competition. 
That afternoon, they successfully avoided her dad's wrath and felt arrogantly confident about it. It made them daring. Pushing the limits, how far could they go, how blatant could they be before he knew? It was almost a game, the thrill part of the insane attraction she felt each time he snuck in. 
His strong arms were wrapped around her as she straddled his waist, kissing him. Every touch was languid and intentional, a searing passion that rippled her skin and left her mind empty. Kissing Luke always put her in a dreamy, blissful haze. Her fingers clawed at his shirt and he shrugged it off in one fluid motion, pulling her back in. His skin was warm, hers to explore. Julie grinned into the kiss. His fingers toyed with the hem of her top.  
"Julie?" 
They froze. Her dad. Other side of the door. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. As quietly as possible, the girl hoisted herself from his lap and motioned at her closet. 
"Julie?" The door handle began to shake. 
Her voice squeaked. "Just a second!" Luke tiptoes into her closet, Julie kicking his shirt under her bed as she ran to the door. Her flushed cheeks would be a dead giveaway had her father ever doubt her trust. Fortunately, Julie Molina was in the eyes of her family a perfect good girl. 
(The guy hiding in her closet would whisper something else in her ear.)
"Why is your door locked?" Dad frowned. "You never lock your door."
Julie shrugged, innocence leaking from her tone. "I can't have some privacy?" 
"Of course, Julie," he said, though his lips were pressed into a thin smile. This clearly wasn't the last time they'd talk about it. "I'm going to the store. Do you need something?" 
"No, thanks," she rushed. "Anything else?" 
"Uh, no. Don't lock yourself in, hm?" It was said as a joke, his brows lifted, but both she and her father knew he meant it. No more locking doors. Shit. 
When the front door fell shut and the car rumbled into the street, Luke reappeared with a careful smile. 
Julie sighed. "That… was close. Maybe we should stop hanging out right after school. I didn't even hear him coming up the stairs."
"Damn, Jules!” Peppering two kisses on her forehead, it did little to relief her stress. “Now that's an ego booster."
"I'm serious!" She huffed. "I hate this. I hate the rule and I hate that I'm making you put up with it."
"Hey, hey," he soothed. "It's shitty, yeah, but you're not making me do anything." Nodding at her lips, he added: "Your smile is already…" 
The smile bloomed on its own accord when he trailed off, edging closer. "What?" 
That little shake of his head almost made her kiss him, but she wanted to know what he was going to say, why his lips were parted in that wonderstruck expression. When nothing came, a curious hum rumbled in her throat as she placed her chin on his chest. 
He relented, tapping a finger against her cheek. “Your smile is already making me do dumb stuff.”
Oh, God. If he was going to continue saying things like that, she might actually fall in love with him. Back when Julie and Flynn were still obsessed with those relationship quizzes in magazines, she always claimed she’d like guys that weren’t so smooth with their words. She thought it meant they were players. But Luke never half-assed anything. 
Her head tilted, amused. “Do you always have words ready?”
“Zero words, Jules,” he quipped. “Ever.”
Yeah, she might actually love him. 
Public dates became a thing after that conversation. She simply couldn’t let him get away because of some rule, even if he claimed he wouldn’t. Eats & Beats was a cute, little café in the heart of Los Feliz with live music and amazing lattes; it was also their regular spot. They’d settle themselves into a booth, share a baked good (“If we’re trying the carrot cake now, we’re doing the pastel de nata next week.” “Deal.”) and talk for hours. Sometimes, when either was tinkering on a song, they’d work on it together.
One leg overlapped his, his fingers drawing pictures on her knee. The booth with the suede red couches and the scratching of a star in the wood was their safe haven.  
“Mh, no,” she swallowed the piece of muffin. “That’s such an ugly word, don’t use that.”
He grinned, shoulders nudging as a tease. “Drencher not doing it for you?”
A laugh bubbled up, kissing his cheek. “Just use ‘rain’, you dork!”
“Dork?”, he mocked, getting in her face. 
“Yeah.” Her nose brushed his. “Dork.” 
“You are a dork.”
“That’s the best you’ve got, Patterson?”
Luke smirked, eyes flicking across her frame. “Want me to show you my best, Molina?”
She pushed his face away, a blush creeping up her cheekbones. They haven’t done it yet, but whenever he got like this, she felt her entire skin heat up at the mere idea. A part of her wanted to take that step, but she felt bad doing it if her dad or tía didn’t know. Knowing that they wouldn’t support her for as long as the rule existed, made her settle with that heat for a little longer. Her leg slipped from his and turned back to his songbook. 
“So-”
“Julie?”
The couple looked up, once more paralysed as her dad’s familiar voice called her name. Why was he literally everywhere?! His tall figure stood in front of their booth, his hat shrouding the grimace on his face as his scrutinising eyes flitted between them. Oh, God. Did he know? Did he see? How much did he see? Did he see Luke checking her out? Mortification didn’t even come close to what she felt. 
“Dad!” Her pressed smile hopefully looked relaxed to him. Her dad had moments of obliviousness; she might be able to save this. “What- hi, I didn’t know you had a booking here.”
His suspicion didn’t waver. “Yeah, honey, for the Rodriguez’ - I told you last night. Was just getting, ah, coffee.” He nodded at Luke. “Who’s this?”
My boyfriend. The one I’m falling for. The boy I’ve been hiding for months. “This is Luke, he’s one of my classmates.” The way his arm tensed at the label made her ache, but she had to truck on. “We’re working on a song.”
If he didn’t believe her, she just hurt her boyfriend for no reason. It did the trick though. Her father’s face mellowed, noticing the scribbles in the tattered book. “You’re working on a song?”
“Yeah. It’s really getting along.” Her finger tapped against his thigh. “Right, Luke?”
He perked up, a cough following as he straightened his attitude. This really was not the way she wanted them to meet. “Uh, yeah.” His hand stuck out. “Hi, mister Molina.”
Dad shook it with a smile, fully relaxed now. “Ray. Nice to meet you.” The barista called out his name. “See you at home, Julie. Don’t stay out long, yeah?”
Her smile twitched and crashed the second he turned around, grabbed his coffee and closed the glass door. She groaned, dropping her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“I gotta be honest,” he whispered. “That hurt.”
“I’m sorry.”
Luke sighed. “I was okay being a secret before, but…”
She coaxed his jaw, needing him to look at her. “It’ll hurt more if I tell him and forces me to break up with you.”
For a moment, silence sunk onto the table, wedging itself like thick smoke between her and Luke. He seemed pensive, the green of his eyes peering. Suddenly, they lit up. “But wait, aren’t you getting your results? Early admission?”
She sagged in her seat, pouting. “If UCLA wants me.”
“They will,” he smiled. His arms wrapped around her. “Of course, they will. And if you get in, he can’t be mad that you’re dating me, right?”
Hope tinged her chest. She hasn’t considered that. She’s been so focused on Luke and trying to keep it hidden, that everything college-related went over her head. The letters and essays and interviews happened before she and Luke got serious, so with her being on that pink cloud ever since, school stress has been locked away. Why bother mulling over UCLA when she could be having fun with Luke? 
If she locked in UCLA… then Luke might be right. And if not UCLA, then she’d hear of USC and NYU next year. (If they were even still together by the time those letters got in the mail.) 
“You might’ve found the loophole,” she teased, hoping to lift the tension. And then she uttered out her biggest fear: “But if you haven’t… will you stay?”
His kiss answered her, soft and sweet and with a hint of blueberry muffin. A grin bloomed on her lips, burrowing her face in his shoulder. She felt it. That overflowing, unbridled adoration overwhelming her all at once. Julie loved him. It was April fourteenth and it only took her six months but Julie loved Luke. They stayed in the booth until they had to go home.
Her phone was mocking her. Luke and her were in her car, stagnant, as both stared at the white screen. Every few minutes, she refreshed it, yet no email came. Gah! Couldn’t colleges just send the email when they said they would? What was taking so long? Did that mean she didn’t get in? Was this a bad sign? It helped having Luke there, easing the rising stress that clenched her ribcage, but she wouldn’t be fully okay until that freaking email come through. 
As if sensing her thoughts, he drummed against the dashboard. “It’s gonna be cool. You look great in blue and gold, you gotta get in.”
She giggled, nerves lacing her tone. “Imagine if that’s how you got in. You’d get into USC then.”
“Are you saying I look hot in red?”, he teased. 
“You know you- oh my God!” She lurched for her phone as a new email pinged in, heartbeat stuttering in her ears. Frozen, her thumb hovered over the fated email. This would change everything - for better or for worse. She knew she should focus on the fact that it would determine where she’d go to college, but all she could think about was Luke, Luke, Luke. Was it selfish to care more about junior prom then UCLA? At this very moment, she thought it was completely justified. 
She shook her head. “I can’t. I can’t do it. You open it.”
His brows raised. “You sure?”
“Yeah-” She stuffed the phone in his hand and put her trembling ones on her lap. “-do it for me.”
Luke took a deep breath. Julie shut her eyes. Please. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please accept her. Please let her be with Luke.
Ten seconds passed. His voice gave nothing away. “Julie?”
“Just rip the band-aid off,” she choked out.   
A familiar, calloused hand softly grabbed hers. Her eyes cracked open. Luke had the biggest smile on his face and it made her heart pop out of her chest. She bit down on her lip, fighting off a grin. “Don’t play with me.”
“I’m not,” he sang, reaching across the console to show her phone. You got accepted! blinked in bold, black letters. “You’re UCLA bound, baby!”
Euphoria burst out. Julie squealed, throwing her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a searing kiss. She got in! She fucking got into college! A great one at that! Another Molina was going for gold! 
And it might even get her to date Luke without secrecy. God, she hoped this was enough. She wanted to do everything with him. All the time, the entire time. Flynn has called them clingy, but Julie just wanted to get rid of the anxiety of her dad finding out. To finally relax and be fully with him.
Her head tilted, bashful. “Is it crazy to say that I might be in love with you?”
He dropped her phone in the cupholder and peppered another kiss on her mouth. “No. That’s good.” His thumb traced her bottom lip, eyes glittering with adoration. “Cause I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you too.”
She pecked his thumb, giddy. “Fuck it. Let’s tell my dad right now. About UCLA and you.”
He smiled. “You sure?”
“One hundred percent.”
Storming inside the house, the couple made a beeline to her dad’s office, his hand in hers. 
“Dad!”, she called out, door slamming open. Her startled father perked up in his seat, his wide eyes going from Julie to Luke right behind her. “I got into UCLA!”
Ray sprung up, cheering. “Mija-!”
“And I’m dating Luke!”, she yelled after. “And that’s okay, cause I got in, so you don’t have to worry about the rule anymore! So... ” She put her foot down, awkwardness creeping in her tone. “Yeah!”
Flabbergasted, dad faltered and let the cheers die in his throat. Luke came to stand next to her, squeezing her hand. Slowly, he nodded. “Ah… so that time in Eats & Beats-”
“A date,” she admitted. “And I’m sorry I went behind your back, papa, but I… really care about Luke. And we figured that if I got in, you’d stop enforcing the dating rule.”
His grap became even tighter. “I, uh, really care about her too,” Luke mustered. “Sorry that we kept it a secret.”
Ray sighed, propping his head in his hands and scrubbing the confusion away with his palms. The pair shot each other a look. He wasn’t mad, she deduced, so that was a good sign at least. Finally, dad moved again and gave her a tight hug. Her confidence grew, hugging him back and withholding a cry of victory. 
He pulled back, crossing his arms with a hint of amusement. “Well… the rule clearly didn’t work, but you seem happy and you- you did actually get in, right?”
She laughed, nodding, and showed the confirmation email. His smile grew. “Then I guess,” he trailed, “you’re allowed. To date. But no funny business!”
Julie quickly nodded, grabbing back onto Luke’s arm and jostling him in excitement. Luke bounced on his heels, trying to temper it but failing miserably. She thanked her dad, promised him they’d celebrate her acceptance later tonight and rushed back out with Luke. Dad yelled something about establishing new rules, but both gleefully ignored it. Once in her bedroom, he snatched her into a tight embrace, kissing her full on the lips. Julie whooped against his mouth and danced between his arms. This might be the best day of her life! Luke was her real real real boyfriend!
“You heard your dad, Jules,” he teased. “No funny business.”
She pouted, faux-peeved. “You won’t get to climb through my window again.”
“Won’t have to hide in cars anymore.”
“Won’t have to say you’re just my classmate.”
Luke dragged them onto her bed, laying side by side. “I can take you to junior prom.”
She kissed him with a giggle. “You’re taking me to prom?”
“Hell yeah, I am!”, he bellowed, drumming his fingers against her hips. “Let your dad take pictures of us and everything.”
She scrunched her nose. “Let’s maybe not push him just yet.”
“Yeah,” he exhaled, humming in agreement. “You’re probably right.”
Luke did that her to junior prom, to homecoming, to senior prom, called her hot in blue and gold and vetoed no when she begged him for a bright, blue velour couch for their first apartment. When someone asked her father what it was like, seeing his daughter find the one at sixteen, he had to admit with embarrassment red on his cheeks that it all flew under his radar.
That it all started with sneaky bleacher kisses and a hopeful heart. 
@blush-and-books @ourstarscollided @sophiphi @bluefirewrites​ @willexx​ @unsaid-emily​
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chrisevansgoodgirl · 4 years ago
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you got a fetish for my love, i push you out and you come right back
summary: the softest man in the world is in love
warnings: nick is a warning. how dare he. smut. smoking (but we’re trying to get him to stop). some of that daddy shit bc ugh, that beard.
word count: around 5,320
pairing: nick vaughan x reader
a/n: let me tell you, it is weird writing nick one second, the softest, sweetest man, and then switching over to ransom, aka satan.
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“You shouldn’t be smoking.”
The man with his back to you turned around, arching an eyebrow. “And why is that?”
You brought your hands up to your waist, looking as confident as you could possibly make yourself look. You didn’t have a mirror on you, but you would bet it wasn’t very convincing. “Um, second-hand smoke. Third-hand smoke. Not to mention what it could do to you.”
Moving closer, he took another brief drag. “And what’s that?”
You huffed. Really? You were going to reach way back into your 8th-grade health class memories for that. “Lung disease, it can cause cancer, like, everywhere, heart disease—”
“But you’re already taking care of my heart, angel.”
You fell silent at that, frowning.
He continued to close the gap between you. “What else?”
“It’s bad for your skin,” you asserted, tone firm despite how close he was getting. “Causes wrinkles.”
“That so?”
You nodded, refusing to step back as he stopped mere inches before you. “We wouldn’t want anyone to think you’re my father.”
He smirked, dropping his cigarette on the floor and stepping on it with the toe of his boot. Boots that were far too expensive to be stepping on cigarettes with. Hell, he shouldn’t even have been outside with them. “No, we wouldn’t want that.”
Your gaze moved off to the side and finally, you stepped away to create some distance. ‘You said you were going to stop, Nick.”
“I know, I’m trying.”
“Try harder. I’m being serious, okay? People die—”
He moved back in front of you and took your chin in his hand, forcing your gaze up to his. “I’m working on it.”
“If you really care about me, you’ll stop.”
“I’m gonna stop,” he promised. “Soon. Come on, don’t give me those eyes.”
He loved your eyes. He had to have told you about a hundred times by now, claimed he liked the innocence in them that never seemed to die out. No matter how many times he took you up to his hotel room and fucked you in every filthy way he could think of. Sure, it was pretty sick sometimes, but he always touched you so softly, whispered the sweetest things to you, and held you afterward.
Your eyes could make him do just about anything, he would often declare. Except, apparently, stop smoking.
“Come on, I’m sorry.”
You crossed your arms, pulling out of his hold. “You’re only sorry you got caught.”
“No, I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
“And don’t be sorry to just me, be sorry to yourself. I think you need healthy lungs for your music career, right?”
He lifted his eyebrows, still amused at how serious you were being. No one in New York took smoking seriously.
“Also, you ever stop and think about what would happen to me if you weren’t here?” That was a little on the sneaky side. You knew that there was the overall scenario of you being lonely, but he would soon start to think about how that would mean you would be with other people.
He scoffed, feigning calmness. “No, I don’t. I don’t want you to, either.”
You didn’t need to hear it, you knew he could connect the dots. “You are forcing me to.”
“Angel, what’s all this about?” he wondered. “Why are you being such a brat?”
“I’m not being a brat,” you immediately protested. Even though you knew he didn’t mind, there was just something in you that twisted at the thought of being bratty. You were not trying to be argumentative even, you were just worried.
“You want daddy to spank you?”
You looked around with wide eyes. Not that anyone in New York had the time or interest to listen to anyone else’s conversations, but still, this was private. “Nick.”
He tsked. “Nick?”
You sighed, casting a look around. “There are too many people here.”
He chuckled. “No one’s listening, angel.”
“I’m not being bratty,” you muttered. “I’m just concerned about you. Since when is that a crime?”
He smiled, reaching his hand out for you. You didn’t waste any time nearly wrapping your entire body around his arm. “What do you want?”
You were not getting away this time, he was also in a mood. Evidently, since he usually spoiled you to the point of letting you get away with “misbehaving” if you apologized or feigned discomfort.
“Take me upstairs, daddy.” It was hardly above a whisper, but it thrilled him to no end that he’d managed to get you to call him that outside of the absolute comfort of the bedroom.
Nick liked you feeling safe with him. He’d never met a more trusting soul, someone almost naive. However, it had taken him a long fucking time to get that sincere trust from you. He picked up on the body language, the things you wouldn’t say. That was why he could give the date for the night you finally let him fuck you with the lights on, the night you finally stayed with him until morning, the night you finally gave him your number because he had convinced you to sneak away from your dad to meet him at the hotel and you had to get back home but you still wanted to talk to him. He could give the date for the first morning you woke up and put on one of his shirts, the morning you let him eat you out for the first time, the morning you let him fuck you against the hotel window.
He wrapped his arms around you and started to lead you inside. It had been almost a year now and you were obsessed with Nick. He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen, and he was kind and gentle, but also passionate and sometimes a little rough when he knew you wanted him to be. It was never mindless, hard fucking. Even when he made it hurt, he held you so close, so tight, his eyes would remain on yours the whole time. He would wipe away your tears and continue bucking his hips. He would whisper to you, coo at you, and make you fall apart until you were so exhausted you couldn’t keep your eyes open.
You were pretty sure you were in love with him. He would be the first. Sure, there was your first boyfriend who you had wanted to be your first for everything. He’d given you a promise ring and told you that he wanted to wait until you were his wife. That one didn’t end well. Your third boyfriend, you thought that one was real. You’d had sex with him, and then he completely disappeared. To this day, you had no idea where he was. But you knew now, those things you’d felt for them, they were so small, so weak. What you felt for Nick was consuming, you felt like every inch of you belonged to him, like you were made for him.
In the elevator, with an elderly couple, an older man, and a party of four younger women that looked like they were on their way to a club, Nick had his lips to your ear. “Angel, I’m gonna fuck you until you’re crying. You know I love those sounds you make and the look you give me when you just can’t take anymore. When your beautiful, little cunt is used and aching and dripping with my cum. But that’s only after I have you on the bed, wet, squirming, begging daddy to make you feel good.”
You felt like you were on fire. If anyone heard, you would be mortified, you would never be able to leave your house again. Things like this were supposed to be private, between the people who were doing it. Nick had the audacity to make some of it almost public. You would admit that there was the tiniest bit of thrill, but most of it was fear and panic.
He touched the side of your face and you startled a little, one of your hands coming up to settle over his forearm. “Jesus, you’re beautiful and so fucking…innocent.”
You were not innocent. You weren’t even sure what he meant by that. Ever. When he said it, you were confused each time.
“The thought of your gorgeous lips wrapped around my cock, trying to take all you can because you’re so good to me, those eyes staring up at me…”
You swallowed thickly, eyes moving to the elevator buttons. How many more god damn floors were there? The elevator stopped again seconds later, and the elderly couple got out. Fewer people but you still didn’t feel any less nervous.
“Afterward, your sweet, tight pussy will be dripping. You know how wet you get after you suck my cock.”
Embarrassingly wet. He was fascinated the first time you’d done it, then he laid you out on the bed and when he made the discovery, he ate you out until you could barely remember what year it was.
“Then I’m gonna have you on top of me, angel. You’re so good at it, I swear you were made just to ride my cock. Remember what you were begging me for last time?”
You remembered and instantly felt your skin burning all over again.
“Maybe I’ll fuck your—”
The elevator stopped on your floor and you rushed out. The group of girls was also getting out, creating some time for you to get away from Nick and breathe. He was always intense, and he never stopped pushing you. You didn’t necessarily hate it. Really, you knew you liked it, but you could never admit that to him, his behavior would just get worse.
He found you with your back pressed against the door, waiting patiently for him. He’d been staying here for several months; he had the same room because he’d wanted to give you a key. For emergencies, he claimed. If you ever needed a place to get away, even if he wasn’t home. It had only happened a few times, he wouldn’t say a word when he would find you bundled up in his bed. He would just join you under the sheets and make you come several times, at least.
He set his hands on your hips and you looked up to him. “What’s on your mind tonight?”
You woke up that morning just knowing. You were in love with Nick and you were terrified. You didn’t want to be in love, not with him. With his music career taking off, he couldn’t want something serious. You figured this was just him wasting time. When he was an established name, he would go out and find himself a proper partner. It wasn’t you, this shy, small thing with no backbone, terrible parents, and no solid plans for your future.
But why ruin a good thing? You wanted to let it last while you could. You smiled at him and shook your head. “Nothing, really. I missed you.”
He smiled back. “I missed you, too.”
You didn’t live in New York with your father, but you had been visiting a lot more frequently. Your father was thrilled about it, thrilled enough not to want to question it. Your mother took it as an insult and didn’t ask a single question about why. It was honestly the perfect crime.
It had only been three weeks since you’d last been with Nick, you were allowing for less time to pass in between the nights you spent with him. You once went a month and a half, how unimaginable that felt—you knew you wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. You would go crazy without him being able to touch you for six weeks.
“You could stay,” he pointed out. “Here. With me.”
You scoffed. “No, I can’t.”
“You could apply to NYU, I’m sure you’ll get in. You could start building your life over here. If not with me, why not live with your dad?”
This was getting serious and you were worried this conversation would wreck everything. Nick thought he wanted something, but only because he was scared. You didn’t want to uproot your entire life for something fleeting.
“I don’t want to talk about this tonight,” you said quietly.
“Okay. But we will. Later.”
You nodded—a lie. You wouldn’t even be with him much longer. You had breakfast you’re your dad and then you would be on a flight back to your mother’s. “Yeah.”
Smiling, he asked, “Well, what do you want to talk about?”
You shrugged. “I don’t want to talk.”
He hummed. “No? You don’t have more scolding to do?”
“I can wait,” you teased. Your eyes flit to either side just to make sure no one was around. “But right now, I just want you to touch me.”
He bent down just slightly to pick you up by your thighs. You eagerly wrapped yourself around him and pressed your lips to his, kissing him like it’d been years.
He struggled to open the door, but you didn’t seem to mind that you could get caught at any moment, you seemed completely distracted by him. That was his goal, make your time here so good that eventually, you just wouldn’t be able to leave him.
Finally, he managed to get you inside the room. You had it all memorized, even with your eyes closed you knew exactly where he always was. He was leading you down the hallway, past the kitchen and the living area, to the door at the end of the walkway. Past the bathroom, past the dresser full of sheet music and records.
He laid you out on the bed delicately, pulling away so he could stare at you. You moved to pull your skirt up, but he caught your hands in his. “Not yet.”
He started at your feet. He pulled off your shoes and began kissing your calves, a touch that felt so distant through your tights.
You whined. “Daddy.”
“You’re going to be patient, angel.”
And that was that. You never argued with him, rarely disobeyed. You were perfect, you were good. You were, as he so fondly called you, an angel that did everything she was supposed to do. Not just for him, but for everyone. He knew that about you, knew that you never liked to make trouble for anyone. Even your dad, who had been almost completely absent during your childhood, off chasing his current wife. Even your mother, who was mean, unsupportive, and childish. You were sweet as could be, well-behaved, soft-spoken, bright-eyed, and glowing. He thought you were perfect.
Biting your lip, paying close attention to how much you were moving, you watched in near silence as he continued to press his lips up your legs. As soon as his eyes flickered up to yours, your heart was pounding. There was a lot about Nick that you just didn’t understand.
You could look at yourself in the mirror and understand why people thought you were pretty, but of course, you did not think as highly of yourself as Nick thought of you. Alternatively, he could not do the same. He could not understand why you liked looking at him in the mornings, why you liked to trace his features with your fingers, why you spent so much time just kissing his face whenever you got the chance. You were baffled that he could look like that and not know what he did to people.
He blushed a lot. When you accidentally told him, the first time, that you thought he was beautiful—never again would you drink wine with him—and now, all the deliberate times after that. Because unintentional or not, you meant it and you wanted him to know. When you would take him in your mouth and he had his hands at his sides, leaving you to control everything, and when you took so much of him that you would gag and choke, he was permanently flushed. When he played for you, forget it.
He was at the hemline of your skirt and started pushing it up, kissing at the insides of your thighs. You bit down harder on your lip as he continued up, up, up until he kissed your pussy. Over tights and your panties, it was still good enough that you shuddered. You could feel his beard, some random hairs managing to poke into the open spots of your tights. It was a feeling that reminded you of being home, not with either of your parents now, but when they were still together in your first home. Nick was comfort and security, he was warmth and so much raw emotion.
You brought one hand up to press your fingers to your lips. You were so wet that you could feel the material against you was damp. He always knew how to do that to you, how to get you so wanting. And the neighbors always knew when you were there, they would play music because you were so embarrassingly loud, not that he was ever considerate about that. You just wanted to pretend you had some dignity, at least for a while.
He kissed across your thigh and up the side of your hip, back across until he could kiss down the opposite side. You remembered you used to hate when he would do this, when there wasn’t a part of you that he wouldn’t at least devote a moment of attention to. You didn’t hate it now, you noticed it made you a lot more confident. You didn’t care how tight a skirt was around your hips or that a skirt was so short that everyone could see your thighs touching. It wasn’t even his goal and it wasn’t dependent on his interest in you at all, but you knew he was the cause.
You often wondered if he looked at everyone like this. It really hadn’t been long, but sometimes you swore he might feel the same about you. You’d always wrote it off as your age, but how would someone his age honestly fall in love with you? And if he wasn’t, why the hell did he look at you the way he did?
“How many lives have you ruined?”
His eyebrows rose and he pulled his mouth away from you. “I’m sorry?”
“You look at me like that, you kiss me like that—”
“Like what?”
You rolled your eyes. Honestly, you weren’t sure how to put it into words. The last thing you wanted to do was accuse him of acting or pretending. That was one of the few boundary lines with Nick that was quickly established—he didn’t like analysis of his emotions. They were his own and he didn’t want anyone to presume that they knew them better than him. You truly didn’t mind. You’d come from a toxic environment of men who would sooner die than cry and couldn’t healthily express their anger if the world depended on it. “You know like what.”
“Yes, but I want to hear you say it.” He leaned back down, kissing either knee once. “But I won’t make you, I want you to want to say it.”
First time he’d ever taken that route. He teased you a lot, like challenging your views. And he liked those rare times you could challenge his. You’d both talked and talked until you managed to get to this place where you were both completely comfortable with what you were. He had to compromise on how casual this could seem at times, and you had to compromise on how obscenely intimate it was to you sometimes. And though you both compromised, it was still hard to see the other’s point of view. What was he so scared of with ‘casual’? You, on the other hand, dreaded falling for someone who couldn’t reciprocate.
He reached for your tights and slowly pulled them down. Again, he moved to where he was exposing skin and scattered kisses all over you. He deliberately got as close to your pussy as he could without ever touching you, several times, and enjoyed that you gasped and shivered each time.
He didn’t pull your underwear out of his way before he finally kissed you there. He went on like this, curious to see just how much you could take. You tried not to ask for more, to feed into his ego, and you succeeded for several minutes. You could feel his tongue and his lips, the texture of your panties was slight stimulation, but as time went on, you craved him more.
When you finally broke, your eyes were filled with tears, your hands were shaking as you reached for him, and you couldn’t form a single coherent word. Instead of pulling your panties down and eating your pussy, he moved up your body and removed your sweater and your bra. Again, he was kissing you all over, but you could hardly focus on anything other than your throbbing pussy.
“Daddy, please,” you whimpered.
He moved his mouth up until he could kiss your lips. He settled down on the bed beside you and pulled away, sitting you up a little. You took his cue and shifted up on the bed until you could rest on the headboard.
You watched as his hand reached for you, holding your breath until he was sliding one finger into you. “Fuck, daddy.” Your hips bucked almost immediately, silently begging for more. He added a second finger and you turned to hide your face against his chest.
He curled his fingers slowly, focusing on the sounds you made, the way your body would tense and shudder, and soon enough, he’d found that blissful spot that he knew made you see stars.
You clumsily reached for his pants, taking far too long to get your hands on his thick cock. You felt yourself get so much wetter, remembering just how big he felt inside you. Not that you were experienced when he’d found you, but taking his cock had been so delightfully painful and you kind of liked that he was the first man really stretching you out like that.
“Fuck,” he breathed against the side of your face. “Watch my fingers, angel, watch me fuck you with them.”
You turned down, paying attention to how they moved, and the wet sounds from your pussy. You slowly moved your hand along his cock, wanting—but too shy to ask for—him to cover your body with his cum. He preferred finishing inside you, he liked letting it drip out of you and then filling you back up all over again.
When your breaths turned shorter and your moans became louder, he knew you were so close. He moved his fingers faster, brought his thumb down to your clit. Your whole body was shaking, and he could feel how desperate you were because your hand around him tightened.
“You wanna come, angel?”
“Please, daddy,” you blurted out. “Please, please make me come.”
He pulled your hand off his cock and kissed you when you made a noise of protest. His opposite hand never even faltered as he explained, “Daddy’s coming inside you. Keep begging.”
“Please, I want to come, daddy. I want to come on your fingers, I want you to get me wet enough so my tight, little pussy can take your huge cock.”
“What a filthy mouth, angel. Where’d you learn to talk like that? Been watching the videos I’ve been sending you?”
“Yes, daddy. I watch every single one and I touch myself, thinking about how much I miss you inside me.”
“You have no idea how much I miss having your pussy wrapped around me when you’re gone.”
You finished with a sharp cry, using your free hand to try to push his touch away, but he was so much stronger than you. Add to the fact that you really didn’t want him to stop, if you could stay there in bed with him, feeling that for the rest of your life, you would.
You almost instantly rolled over on top of him, kissing him as you moved up his body until you were straddling him. He set his hands on your hips, holding you steady as you slid down on him. As you adjusted, he let his hands wander to your breasts. You were still shaking, panting, trying to come down from your high but you were addicted to pleasing Nick.
You rolled your hips, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. You needed to see him naked, coming here without seeing all of him would be an absolute waste. He helped you get the shirt off after a moment and your hands roamed all over his torso.
He took your hips again, using his hold on you to pick up the pace just a little. You let your head fall back, he would want to watch your body anyway. You brought your arms back and rested your hands on the mattress around his legs. He had to fuck you just a little harder from this angle to see your breasts move with every thrust, but you were okay with that.
You always knew when he was close because his fingers would dig into your skin and he always did everything he could to get as close to you as he possibly could. This time, he sat up and pulled you up so your chest was flush against his. You continued bouncing up and down on his cock, mewling and whimpering because you knew he loved those sounds.
“Are you close, daddy?”
“Yeah, angel, keep going just like that.”
“Tell me when you’re really close.”
He faltered for just a second, processing your odd request, but did not argue.
You set your hands to his face, dragging him in for a kiss, open-mouthed, tongues, moaning obscenely for one another. As he was distracted, you unwound his arms from your back and held them flat on the mattress by his forearms.
“I’m close,” he informed after turning his head just slightly, breathing heavily on your skin. “I’m so fucking close.”
You started moving quickly, pulling off of him and crawling back down the bed. He was stunned silent until you bent down and took his wet cock, messy from your pussy, in your mouth. You’d only just closed your lips around him when both of his hands settled on the back of your head to hold you down. He only needed to jerk his hips up a few times before he was filling your mouth.
He kept you there until his high had drifted away, and you never once complained. You swallowed the cum that you could, but some of his had slipped out of your mouth, and sucked softly until he let you up.
As soon as you were sitting up, he was wrapping his arms around you and pulling you on top of him. Still trying to catch his breath, it was clear that he wasn’t letting you go for quite some time. Because no one would expect Nick to want to cuddle after sex.
And because his brain was not functioning at its best, he was simultaneously attempting to kick off his pants and pull the sheets over the two of you. But you weren’t there to be unsupportive, you simply laid on his chest and tried not to laugh.
After he’d managed it, which had to have taken about five minutes, he turned off the lamp on the bedside table and stretched over to do the same on the other side. He once again wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head. “Fuck, I love you.”
You weren’t sure how to respond, so all you did was lay there. He didn’t miss a beat, he just started running one of his hands through your hair and then nothing. Not another word.
Fuck.
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You only woke up because Nick was moving around so much. As quiet as he tried to be and as softly as he tried to move out from under you, he always failed at it. When he realized he’d woken you up again, he froze.
You grabbed one of the pillows and yanked it over his face as you climbed out of bed. You didn’t want to have to get up because that meant that you would soon have to leave. You grabbed your phone out of your bag on the way to the bathroom, not bothering to get dressed. Nick loved seeing you walk around the room naked, and that was why you always ignored that nervous nagging feeling that told you to cover up.
“Sorry,” he called out.
You didn’t respond.
After you brushed your teeth, you opened the door. You heard him moving around the bedroom as you were performing your simple morning skincare routine. He always did that, just waited until you were done so he could get in. He liked making you watch in the mirror.
And right on cue, Nick entered the bathroom, stopping just inches behind you. You didn’t turn, you merely watched him in the mirror and waited. He wrapped his arms around you, and you noticed the single red rose he was holding. He started at your lips, letting the flower trail down, then over your nipples, and down just above your navel.
You shivered when he pulled it away, offering it to you. With a smile you were looking down to hide, you took the rose from him.
He kissed the side of your face, arms wrapping loosely around your waist He pressed one hand to your stomach, and you were reminded of how much you loved his stupid hands. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day.”
“I’m sorry about what I said last night. I know it was…a lot.”
Yeah, it was. You’d built it up in your mind as some terrifying thing that you would never want to hear, especially from him, but when he said it, it just wasn’t like that. When he said it, it made you feel safe. It made you feel loved. “But did you mean it?”
“Only if you’re not going to run away.”
You finally looked up in the mirror, meeting his gaze. “Maybe I won’t.”
He arched an eyebrow.
“And maybe I love you back.”
“Maybe?”
“Maybe,” you confirmed. “And maybe I’m even considering staying.”
He perked up at that, turning you around quickly to face him. “Tell me what I need to do or say and I will.”
You brought the rose up and set it to his lips, smirking again.
He narrowed his eyes.
All you did was shrug. “Not sure yet, but you have all day to convince me.”
“I thought you were leaving today.”
You set the rose down on the counter. “Changed my mind.”
He was beaming as he picked you up and sat you on the counter. “That means you’ve already decided to stay.”
“I never said that.”
“I’m not letting you leave. Ever.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop your smile. “I have to go home, you know…and pack.”
“I’ll go with you.”
Wrapping your arms around his neck, you smiled. “Probably a good idea to let my mom meet my daddy.”
“Please don’t make those jokes in front of your parents.”
You snorted. “Oh, now you want to be a gentleman?”
“Always am, angel. Open your legs and I’ll prove it.” He spread your thighs wider as he got down to his knees. He pulled you to the edge of the counter and with his eyes on yours, he took your pussy with his mouth.
“Fuck,” you gasped. “But this means you have to stop smoking.”
He pulled back, narrowing his eyes at you. “Now, seriously?”
You buried both hands in his hair and pulled him back in.
chris tags:
@onetwo3000 @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @donutloverxo @kleohoneyao3 @cevans-fics @gotnofucks​
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piratewithvigor · 4 years ago
Text
My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station
ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band
Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along
Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady
Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof
Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY
Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to
Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name
Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares
Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy
Asia: Tuesdays
Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist
Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny
Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company
Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith
Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD
Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy
Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different
Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically
Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL
Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you
Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS
Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life
Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural
Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about
Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty
Bush: ditto
Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?
Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic
Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with
Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that
Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”
Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better
Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right
Collective Soul: who?
Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not
Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*
CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*
CSNY: David Crosby; meh
Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER
Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one
Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up
Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest
Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio
Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor
Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close
Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth
Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none
Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia
Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison
ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule
Essex, David: no prominent memories of him
Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell
Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?
Faith No More: I got nothing
Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop
Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential
Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself
Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip
Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill
Ford, Lita: deserved better
Foreigner: dramatically overplayed
Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box
Free: dramatically underplayed
Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot
Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter
Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass
Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does
Grand Funk Railroad: Funk
Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music
Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes
Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason
Green Day: the first of the emo revolution
Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen
Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that
Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?
Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool 
Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names
Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!
Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references
Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration
Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time
Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself
INXS: Terminator vibes
Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison
James Gang: too many funks
Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative
Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*
Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*
Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute
Jett, Joan: icon
J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played
Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that
John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name
John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me
Joplin, Janis: Queen
Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire
Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic
Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole
Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically
Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject
Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes
Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)
Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons
Live: I got nothin
Living Colour: slap a decent amount
Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??
Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track
Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion
Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD
McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple
Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf
Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987
Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon
Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot
Modern English: who?
Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes
Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT
Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it
Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie
Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’
Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one
Nicks, Stevie: witch queen
Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill
Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed
Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least
Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*
Offspring: nothing here
Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy
Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard
Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money
Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*
Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good
Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?
Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled
Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’
Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say
Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig
Queensryche: neutral opinion
Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that
Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music
Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent
Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it
Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it
RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)
Red Rider: basically Golden Earring
Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull
REM: American Tragically Hip
REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title
Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie
Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit
Santana: The world needs more Santana
Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend
Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say
Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)
Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you
Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us
Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater
Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it
Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know
Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having
Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison
Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan
Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions
Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard
Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015
Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable
Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself
Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them
Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously. 
Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt
Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to
Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’
Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth
Ten Years After: somehow still relevant
Tesla: not the car or the dude
The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them
The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her
The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul
The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names
The Kinks: kinky
The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile
The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours
The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have
The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it
The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s
Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?
Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern
Toto: the most memed song behind All Star
Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds
T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon
Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush
Tubes: like the yogurt
Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it
U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways
Van Halen: RIP Eddie
Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?
Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn
Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get
War: Foghat, but even groovier
Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis
Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene
Yes: To Be Continued
Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY
Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand
ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged. 
3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever
38 Special: Why 38?
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