#i know myself so well
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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I have nowhere else to say this and this is my blog anyways but: I’m finally starting Whole Cake Island arc IM NOT READY BUT AT THE SAME TIME I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
#i just know i’m gonna cry#i know myself so well#i need emotional support for this and that will be my panda plushie#greece chitchats
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destin conrad top artist yup yup yUP
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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Finally got around to drawing my farmer :P
#her name is eliza btw#my art#stardew valley#sdv#sdv farmer#sdv Elliott#elliott x farmer#eliza the farmer#fanart#sdv fanart#aka shameless self insert bc I started the game not knowing how into it i would become#and naturally I just made myself instead of thinking out an oc#oh well. still got my malewife so idc
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edit (10/23/2024) now that the poll is over: Original version, with 10 questions, from April 2023 here
And, given that the original is from April 2023, that means I can very easily say:
No, this was not an ISAT reference!
Just because I use parentheses and 2nd person pov and love the same concepts of what a time loop can do to a person doesn't mean it's ISAT
(Yes, I like ISAT, the original poll is why I was recommended the game! But if you look at the original, you can see all the origins of the options to choose from, including what spurred me on with the moss option from the replies)
If I were going to make something for ISAT, I would never be so vague, you can simply look at my ao3 for proof of that
#egg speaks#writing#polls#my writing#egg writes#my polls#poetry#time loops#listen I want to run this again#time loop poll#<- check that tag on my blog for the original 10 option version lmao#unreality#you know I didn't think I'd get fed up with people making isat jokes about this#I thought it'd be like oh hey neat same hat#we both like the same game#but people keep going “oh this is JUST an ISAT reference”#as if it's not a genuine work of creativity I did myself. it feels a bit devaluing#“op you played isat” yes but that came after the original!!!!!#I KNOW it's not meant like that but I want people to engage in my work as its own thing. you can make jokes about similar media!!!#but this is it's own thing!!!!#I want people to like it for what it is. I want people to enjoy it outside of other media. I want it to stand on its own#I'm flattered someone said it was good enough that they think it could be narration from the game and read just as well!!!!#but like. idk. all the other medias popping up (pmmm. orv. higurashi. etc) aren't people calling it a /reference/#if I wanted it to be an ISAT reference I would have tagged it originally. I would have targeted it toward ISAT fans more intentionally.#I love fanworks but this was an ode to time loops alone. I wanted people to think. to have to CHOOSE. I wanted PARTICIPATION#time loops as a narrative and as horror and as a group activity via polls on tumblr. also s/o to the person who said 40 hr work week so tru
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I had an insanely bad night (which don't worry I will not be discussing it with anyone except to laugh at myself for praying to 13 😭) but it turns out I'm still just as good at making myself function after all that as I have been. Combination of my wake up playlist and funny House episodes works great still.
#this playlist works miracles i swear#i know myself so well#i know exactly what songs will work#and i also love 13!!!#she's so good#always fixes everything#literally ignore me
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WOOZI on SEVENTEEN winning Artist Of The Year in MAMA 2024
#svtcreations#svtgifs#svtsource#17net#seventeen#svt#forsvt#kpopedit#studiocarat#dailywoozi#woozisource#woozi#lee jihoon#jihoon#y.psd#wz#got too lazy to fix some of the framing and i lich rally forgot how to gif and had to reorient myself for 15 mins lol#so sorry for the dithering <33 and the bad quality in general im v v rusty#but i made 500 gifs <33 do u still think i'm hot#don't know the tags people use anymore too and dk where people find hd files nowadays fdjdjkfjkfd#had to come back to gif this because they're just so special to me!! and i'm so proud of how far they've come#missed u sm too caratblr <3333 hope everyone's well!
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weirdos
#ultrakill#ultrakill fanart#gabriel ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#gabv1el#if that isn't the right ASL sign i'm gonna be on the news#as i'm writing this i realize this might suit minos more than v1. oh well#i'll redeem myself at a later date#this was mostly an excuse to render metal with a watercolour brush anyway#and also because i chickened out with the last drawing and will not be posting it. for the time being#i don't know why i'm acting like this its literally just an unfunny se x joke. maybe its because the drawing turned out so nice#arttag#galadoodles#id included
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fa5b57a7b460eb145748ff818de104bb/ac56b5f4b5db603a-27/s540x810/9d22c7418612c9e8c4c459207be9de062ee9c0e0.jpg)
#artists on tumblr#illustration#art#digital art#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#tgcf fanart#hualian#xie lian#hua chang#mxtx tgcf#tgcf hua cheng#tgcf xie lian#procreate#mxtx#mxtx fanart#danmei#this took me so long#I tried to challenge myself#tried to upgrade my digital coloring as well as bgs#didn‘t know if I should love or cry#I hope you are doing well#will probably opening commissions soon#❤️🤍
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so just know, I'm healing / even though it don't feel like it
insp
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#good evening it is past midnight and i am here furthering the itfs scar kissing agenda#stumbled across the insp pic buried in my likes and i went oh this is relevant in the opposite direction :) I Can Use This :)#op has some of my fav itfs fanart ill b so real n tht piece ws swimming around in my brain fr Days#so i told myself today my reward for submitting my zine checkin wld b drawing yuuji kissing megumi's scars#also pls observe. /this/ is what i mean when i say tht megumi receiving affection looks like he is unsure and in mild pain#Does Not Know How To Respond To Affection Even From His Own Boyfriend.png#i LOVE drawing megu with this expression so sosos much the downcast sidelong gaze + furrowed brow.....#its SO good#also idk what i did with his hair here but the render actually turned out so well ?? best megu hair to date every1 pls clap#not 2 mention th shape of yuuji's bangs???? pats self on th back no offense but i am on fire w these boys' hair lately#that being said i decided i did not want to render anything else ddfdfjjghdjgf i got tired#kept the rest flat n took the opportunity to play around w light chromatic abberation on the scars#idk if any1 noticed but i found th retro film filter n used it a bunch on my recent comic#its so convenient it comes w built in noise n everything!!!!!!#anyway . caption is salt fv <333 if u care <333333#i think it is also a megu song but like . a post-canon megu song#i thought this wld take longer bc i was planning on rendering everything so i cracked an energy drink and am tragically awake#shld i start smth new we shall see smile :)
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generally i don't think you should have to suffer for your art but i have to admit that guitar players shredding so hard that their instrument ends up splattered with blood is kind of hot
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"She's Gone"
This bad boy was started on the third of November, and finished on the seventh. In total, there are thirty panels (all of which were drawn separately).
A good chunk of N's dialogue near the end came to me after I did some improv to figure out what he should say. I have since dubbed it "N's Failure Monologue."
#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones tessa#murder drones uzi#tessa james elliott#serial designation n#uzi doorman#the absolutesolver#BOY let me tell ya there was some movie magic pulled in areas#even though i told myself to keep it simple... despite knowing how well that worked when i made crash test#ah well. i go overboard so you guys can enjoy the end result#and hopefully not dock off points for my inability to draw characters holding swords. i tried SO HARD#ALSO JUST SAW THE BEGINNING OF THE END TEASER THING BEFORE POSTING THIS#OH MY GOD MY HEART IS DOING THINGS TO ME AND I'M NOT SURE THIS IS HELPING#YES THAT IS THE ONLY TEASER I WILL EVER WATCH BECAUSE IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE ANYWAY (it’s in glitchx 2023)#solveruzi au#zeisty’s heavy hitters#zeisty’s comic stuff
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The King under the Mountain and the Master Burglar
In honor of the anniversary of the Hobbit trilogy, I'm dropping two arts with my favorite characters from Peter Jackson's films ✨ Ten years have passed - I'm still in shock….
#the hobbit#tolkien#bilbo baggins#bilbo#thorin oakenshield#thorin#hobbit#dwarf#middle earth#Tolkien-verse#my art#netmors#art#digital art#illustartion#anniversary art#love hobbit trilogy#as well as the lord of the rings#it took me ten years to finally allow myself to draw my favorite characters#i so want to make more drawings about the hobbit and the lord of the rings uhuhuhuhuhuhu#how to combine this with the star wars fandom and ordinary life - i don't know at all X3#i really enjoyed drawing the dwarf and the hobbit - want more ////. ////#lord of the rings#peter jackson's trilogy#the hobbit fanart
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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okay now please doodle Charles and Edwin’s wedding. Also love your art it’s so cute and loveable in a way
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f3ac47e2b803fc3bd135a912e22035fd/084b7e9a5a3bc3d1-c6/s640x960/dac110692f6c3e17a824425eafdb99edbfa61fc9.jpg)
Sherwani for Charles and morning dress for Edwin, yay
ko-fi
And you get a little headcanon/concept
At some point during their friendship, way before Port Townsend, Charles mentioned the tradition of wearing gold at weddings. He did so in a sad sort of way, as he had seen the pictures from his parents wedding, and knew her mum had not been allowed to wear a lehenga nor many gold accessories.
Maybe, as these things are meant to bring happiness to the couple, he mentions that as a child he believed his parents marriage would have been happier if she wore those things.
Edwin starts to collect gold items. He doesn't analyze the reason, but if a case offers gold as payment? Edwin is taking it. Charles thinks nothing of it, it's just one of Edwin's quirks.
After his revelations in Port Townsend, Edwin will eventually realize a few things regarding his gold rush.
And they will have a lot of gold jewlery for their wedding day!
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#alright so i knew i wanted charles in a sherwani though i did not know the name#to make things easier for myself i decided he's punjabi#that being said he is biracial so i didn't know if should incorporate something from his british heritage as well#i decided that meh the ceremony will be british enough#also i added some details#to both his and edwin's outfit#that are not very traditionally masculine#this is a very queer wedding#i was so scared of this request people you have no idea#thank you girlfriend for dealing with me rambling about it
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