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jaskiers-sweetkiss · 4 years

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Sunset Swerve - Part 8

Pairing: Luke x OC

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: some light swearing

A/N: For some reason I really want to say ‘We’re in the endgame now” about this chapter but its not true? We’re in like the mid-game lol. Anyway, shoutout to @meangirlsx who unknowingly inspired some of the dialog between Luke and Jordan in this chapter with her tags on a previous chapter. Send me a message if you’d like to be added to the taglist and, as always, let me know what you think!

Part 7 Masterlist

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When they arrived back in the studio, they had not expected it to be filled with music.

Julie grinned at them from behind her keyboard and everyone else stopped playing at their arrival.

“Grab your guitars, we’ve got work to do.” Even without saying it, it was obvious that the girl had forgiven Luke and Jordan wondered what Alex and Reggie had said to her.

Jordan did as she said, heading to her stand and slinging the strap of her electric across her body while Luke headed straight toward Julie.

“What made you come back?” He asked the question Jordan had been wondering herself.

“I realized how much music meant to all of us, and we’ve lost so much already.” The way Julie said it made it seem like she knew more than Jordan would’ve expected and she wondered again what the boys had told her. “We can’t lose this too.”

“Thanks,” Luke nodded thoughtfully, slipping the strap of his guitar across his body. “Alright boss, where we at?”

Julie smiled, settling into her place at the keyboard before leaning forward again. “Oh, and by the way, happy birthday.”

The genuine smile that drew from Luke sent a pang through her chest and she frowned, wondering if it was another one of those jolts. However, as she looked around she noticed none of the boys felt it. Oh hell, she cursed herself silently. She was so lost in her thoughts that she nearly missed Julie’s instructions to start at the pre-chorus.

Jordan was grateful for the distraction of the music, all her focus going into singing and playing, no room for stupid thoughts about stupid boys. Practice ended too quickly for Jordan’s taste but she knew realistically that Julie needed time to get ready and travel to the venue while they could just poof around. She just needed Luke to do something stupid so that she could remember why she hated him because her stupid smooth brain (Julie taught her that) had forgotten it.

Instead, he turned and directed his dopey smile at her and she swore she nearly swooned.

“We are gonna rock those managers’ faces off!” He exclaimed as they put their instruments away.

Jordan grinned back at him, silently blaming it on the rush of playing well and having a performance soon. She was always more agreeable around music. Out of the corner of her eye though she thought she saw Reggie and Alex share a knowing look and she glared at them suspiciously.

“Yeah man, it’s gonna be awesome,” Alex responded to Luke and the rest of the ghosts nodded in agreement as they shuffled around the studio getting ready for the performance.

Jordan decided to keep the outfit she’d been wearing all day, fishnets and her old black Madonna t-shirt under a pair of overall shorts and her Docs. With her outfit and hair already taken care of thanks to Past Jordan, she was just left to slap on some makeup, thankful that she hadn’t done it before she’d spent the afternoon crying. Luke sat down on the couch next to her, watching curiously as she worked.

“Do you mind?” She asked, looking away from the small mirror Julie had lent her to stare blankly at the boy.

“Nope!” He responded cheekily and she groaned, turning back to her mirror and her eyeliner.

She’d finally managed to get the wings down again, making only one mistake this time, so the process went by fairly quickly.

“Do you need me to do yours?” She deadpanned, turning to stare at Luke who was still watching her.

“Nah,” he breathed, smiling cheekily at her as he flipped his imaginary hair over his shoulder. “I’m naturally gorgeous, I don’t need makeup.”

Jordan gasped.

“Asshole!” She exclaimed, smacking his shoulder but laughing anyway. “You’re lucky it’s your birthday or it would be on sight for that.”

“‘On sight’?” Luke asked, puzzled.

“Some twenty-first-century lingo Julie taught me,” Jordan explained superiorly. “Basically means I’d fight you as soon as I saw you.”

Luke nodded lightly, eyes going wide at the threat but slowly a mischievous look began to take over his face.

“Hey Alex, Reg, who would win in a fight? Me or Jordan?” Luke called out and Jordan rolled her eyes, putting away her makeup stash.

“Jordan,” they both answered at the same time and Jordan laughed, giving them both high fives as she returned her makeup to her designated cubby in the back of the studio (they’d had to create an official organization system because the boys tended to just take anything they found and claim it as their own).

Luke pouted, sitting on the couch with his arms crossed like a petulant child as he glared at his bandmates.

“Sorry, man,” Alex shrugged, “Have you seen her boots? She’d absolutely curb stomp you without a second thought.”

Reggie nodded and Luke huffed, standing up from the couch and making his way to the door.

“You guys are mean,” he whined. “I’m gonna tell Julie.”

He’d meant it to be a threat but the other three ghosts weren’t fulling listening, only hearing Julie’s name.

“Oooh, I wanna see Julie!” Reggie exclaimed and Alex and Jordan responded with a chorus of ‘Me too!’s and ’Same!’s as they began clamoring around the furniture in the studio in a race to the door.

Luke rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath as he followed after them.

When they arrived at Julie’s door, Reggie held his arms out dramatically, effectively halting the movement of the three ghosts behind him. Once he felt sure they weren’t just going to barge in he stuck his arm through the door, knocking three times while the other ghosts rolled their eyes or laughed.

“What are you guys doing?” They heard Julie ask through the door and Reggie stuck his whole torso through.

“We’re being classy,” Jordan snorted at that and Luke huffed, pulling Reggie back through by his belt loops.

With Reggie out of the way, Luke stepped through the door but at the sight of the girl sitting on her bed, all thoughts of tattling left his mind.

“What’re you doing? We go on in twenty minutes,” he asked as the rest of the ghosts stepped through.

Julie was sitting on the bed doodling on her mic, still in her clothes from earlier.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

“I lied to my dad,” Julie explained forlornly, “So now I’m stuck in my room all night.”

“Yeah but like, the venue is packed with VIPs and managers,” Alex protested and Joran hit his arm.

“She’s grounded, the presence of VIPs and managers isn’t going to change that,” she huffed and Julie gave her a tight-lipped smile.

“What’re we gonna do about my aunt? She’s right downstairs.”

“Your aunt,” Luke repeated, chuckling as he crossed the room, throwing open her bedroom window. “You’re not taking the stairs.”

Jordan opened her mouth to defend the girl, never having been as big a fan of going around her parents’ backs as the guys had been, but before she could say anything Julie grinned at the group of ghosts.

“Okay. Let me get dressed, I’ll meet you guys there,” she said and the guys all grinned while Jordan looked at her nervously.

“Are you sure, Julie?” She asked warily and Luke whacked her arm with the back of his hand.

“Moss, don’t change her mind!” He hissed and Julie laughed.

“Thanks for the concern Jo,” she said, giving the girl a kind smile and Jordan felt her heart warm at the new nickname. “But it’s fine. We have managers to impress.”

She nodded and the ghosts prepared to poof out to the venue when Jordan stopped them again.

“Wait!”

“What now, Moss?” Luke groaned.

“I wanna grab my flannel.”

“Why?”

“It’s chilly.”

“You’re a ghost you can’t-“

“Shut up.” She said, ending their back and forth by poofing into the studio and grabbing one of her flannels from her cubby.

When she poofed back to Julie’s room the boys were gone and Julie was sifting through the trunk in her room.

“The guys went ahead to the venue,” Julie explained and Jordan nodded.

“Alright, I’ll see you there then,” Jordan nodded. “By the way, that vest is super cool.”

Julie smiled in thanks before Jordan poofed away to meet the guys at the venue.

___

The announcer had just called Dirty Candy to the stage when Julie arrived.

“Am I too late?” She asked, slightly out of breath.

“Too early,” Flynn huffed, gesturing up to where Carrie was taking the stage.

Jordan couldn’t figure out how she felt about Dirty Candy. On one hand, Carrie was the spawn of a fraud who she’d always hated and Carrie was mean to Julie and Flynn but on the other hand, the group was really talented and she loved their sound. She supposed it was like her feelings towards Sunset Curve, she loved the music but hated the musicians.

“Wait, did she just make a big show of putting on sunglasses just to throw them away in the first verse?” Jordan laughed, furrowing her brow in confusion at the choreography.

“Shhhh,” Alex hushed her, staring enthralled at the performance.

Before they knew what was happening he was on the stage, dancing with the group.

Jordan whooped excitedly, cheering him on while the rest of the group exchanged looks of surprise.

“You having fun out there?” Julie questioned when Alex poofed back to the group.

“It’s not my fault. It’s my, um… it’s my feet.” Alex gulped.

“Yeah,” Julie said, clearly not believing.

“Put me back in coach,” Alex breathed, poofing back to the stage.

“Why have we been keeping him behind the drums?” Jordan joked as they watched him dance out the rest of the song. “He’s got moves.”

Reggie nodded enthusiastically in agreement, their eyes never leaving the stage.

“I was just doing that for you guys,” Alex said when he returned and everyone expressed varying forms of disbelief.

“Mhmm,” Julie hummed while Luke and Jordan rolled their eyes.

“Yeah, you can’t stop smiling now,” Reggie smirked knowingly and Alex blushed.

“That was, actually kinda good,” Julie admitted, looking as though she’d rather cut her tongue off than admit it. Jordan knew what that was like.

“Yeah, I forgot why I hate her so much,” Flynn agreed.

“Hi girls,” Carrie said in her overly-perky voice as she made her way over with her entourage in tow. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“Now I remember,” Flynn pursed her lips, glaring at Carrie and Jordan snorted.

“If you’re looking for nick, he didn’t come,” Carrie addressed Julie coldly.

“That’s not why I’m here,” Julie scoffed, squaring up to the pink-haired girl.

“Okay, we have one more act tonight,” The announcer called, reading off the list on stage. “Julie and the Fat Ones?”

Dirty Candy snickered while the rest of them turned to glare at Luke.

“Yeah man, my handwriting sucks,” he admitted and Julie shook her head, making her way onto the stage while Carrie and her group stomped off.

“Hey. It’s actually Julie and the Phantoms,” Julie greeted the audience, quickly realizing they didn’t seem to care. “Okay.”

Jordan rocked back and forth on her heels excitedly as Julie placed her hands on the keyboard, beginning the song.

“Hearts on fire. We’re no liars, so we say what we wanna say,” she sang, the apathetic audience starting to pay attention. “I’m awakened, no more faking. So we push all our fears away.”

“Don’t know if I’ll make it cause I’m falling under. Close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder.”

Jordan took a deep breath, steadying herself as their time to join in approached. She reached out, grabbing Alex and Reggie’s hands on either side of her repeating the small ritual Apollo 81 had always done before going on stage.

“I wanna fly, come alive, watch me shine,” As Julie sang the refrain Jordan squeezed the boys’ hands comfortingly, letting go just in time for them to poof onstage.

“I got a spark in me. Hands up if you can see and you’re apart of me. Hands up if you’re with me,” Luke joined Julie for the chorus as she made her way out from the piano to center stage. Jordan immediately made her way over to Reggie, the two ghosts rocking out together in front of Alex’s drum set. The mood in the venue had become electric, everyone’s interests piqued by their sudden appearance. “Now till eternity. Hands up if you believe. Been so long and now we’re finally free.”

Luke joined her and Reggie on Alex’s platform, giving Julie the stage as she sang the second verse. As arranged, Jordan hopped down, joining Julie for the pre-chorus.

“We know we can make it, we’re not falling down under,” they sang together, Jordan taking the lower harmonies. They’d bonded a lot after the dance, they could see it in each other’s smiles. It felt good to be performing together. “Close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder.”

“I wanna fly, come alive,” Jordan started the refrain with her before backing off to give her the final line. Rejoining Luke and Reggie in the back. “Watch me shine.”

The three guitarists jumped down from the platform as the chorus hit, Luke immediately taking up the mic next to Julie as he joined her in the chorus again, Reggie and Jordan singing the background vocals on either side of them and Alex in the back. At one point in the chorus, Reggie made his way over to Jordan’s mic, the two singing together briefly before he bounced over to Luke, finally returning to his own mic as they hit the bridge.

Luke and Julie took up center stage as they shared a mic, singing through the call and response bridge. The two had obvious chemistry and as Jordan watched she felt a pit forming in her stomach. She passed it off as just nerves, she was about to pick up the chorus after all, and exchanged smiles with Alex and Reggie, the two boys calming her down.

The crowd roared as they hit the chorus for the final time, Reggie and Jordan leaning into their mics as they joined the chorus.

“I got a spark in me. Hands up if you can see, and you’re a part of me. Hands up if you’re with me…” They sang through the chorus, Jordan taking up Julie’s part so that she could riff off the vocals. They’d decided the final run-through of the chorus was the perfect place to really show off Julie’s pipes.

As the song wound down, the three guitarists backed off again, leaving Julie to sing the last “Finally free” on her own.

The crowd erupted into cheers when the song ended. Jordan sung her guitar to the side as they all took a bow, the four ghosts disappearing. They reappeared at the back of the venue, sitting on the countertop of the bar and giving Julie huge thumbs-ups as she finished out their performance.

“Thank you. We’re Julie and the Phantoms,” she said into the mic, soaking up the applause before adding with a wink to her ghost band, “Tell your friends.”

The four phantoms nearly lost their minds at that, all of them whacking each other’s limbs as they yelled excitedly. They were only starting to calm down when Julie bounded over to where they were sitting behind Flynn, giving her best friend a hug before grinning at the ghosts.

“You were incredible!” Flynn gushed to her friend.

“Yeah, we were!” Reggie exclaimed and Julie rolled her eyes slightly with a grin.

Just when Jordan thought the night couldn’t get any better, a woman in a power suit started making her way over to them, gracefully dodging Dirty Candy on her way.

“She looks all business,” Alex whispered and Jordan nodded.

“Wait! Who should do the talking?” Reggie panicked before looking around at the group, all of them giving him looks that said ‘really?’ “Oh, right, Julie.” He nodded.

“You’ve got this,” Luke whispered as the woman approached, sticking out her hand in introduction.

“Hi I’m Andi Parker and I would love to-“ she began but was cut off.

“Julie,” Ray called sternly from behind and everyone’s eyes widened.

“It’s time to go.” He said and Julie gulped, dropping Andi’s hand.

Oh shit.

Part 9

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JATP Taglist: @meangirlsx

Sunset Swerve Taglist: @oopsiedoopsie23 @angryknightstatesmantrash @onlygetaway @deni-gonzalez @advicefromnixxxx @brooke0297

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #389

“i’m well aware i’m a danger to myself / are you aware i’m a danger to others?”

How much do you weigh? Yeah, we're starting off on a bad foot. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Putting Roman's used litter in the trash. Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? Hm... I guess you could love them, but it'd be a complicated situation. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? If it's purely for sport, from the very bottom of my heart, fuck you. Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? I'd say it's decently fast. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yeah, Florida. My grandma lived there. Are you sensitive to caffeine? No. It does like... nothing to me. How do you usually get around? My mom's car. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No actually, but I know I kinda am. What do you think about Kim Kardashian? I don't have an opinion of her. Can you speak any French? No. Favorite yogurt flavor? The only yogurt I've been liking lately is cookies and cream to add a different texture, because otherwise, I don't like its natural texture very much??? Idk man, my taste buds are wild. How much money do you have in your wallet right now? Just like $5. What bottled water brand do you like? Essentia. Your favorite way to eat chocolate? As chocolate bars, probably. How often do you listen to country music? Like, never. Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? Linkin Park. Last surgery you had? Pilonidal cyst removal. Have you ever played guitar? I briefly took classes for it in high school, yes. Best I got to was playing some of the intro to "Crazy Train." I enjoyed it, but not enough to be consistent and really learn. Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? I don't think so? What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? Independence and confidence would be nice... Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? No. Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? God no. I love my online friends. Half of 'em more than "irl" ones. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? I have to be VERY invested in it to care THAT much. It happened most recently when Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty premiered. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? Early in the morning. I'm in a better mood in the morning. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have a calorie-counting app, as well as one to track my period. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? My mom's, best friend's, and psychiatrist's. If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? I don't really know. Maybe the very first Pride event? Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it? Ride a rollercoaster, for one. I know I never will, though. I'm too afraid of throwing up, but even more realistically, I fear passing out before of the twisting and turning and just standing up makes me very dizzy. My blood pressure is STUPID low. What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? Have kids. That's a big 'ole fat no from me. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? Twice at least. Are you well-known by people in your area? No. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, thank Christ. It sounds terrifying. What's your favourite type of bird? Barn owls. Melanistic ones, to be exact. Stunning. What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? I'm only keeping up with Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Have you ever dated a smoker? For less than a day. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes. Have you ever been a member in a band? No. Besides the school band. Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No. Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Multiple times. Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? I think once with my brother. Why did you last need to use a band-aid? I'unno. What fruit do you eat most often? Apples. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My ma. Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? A few times. I don't feel like thinking over this. Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? I've tried almond milk, and I hated it. If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? uhhhhhh idk When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? I'm essentially always in my room. If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No. Do you find piercings attractive? Yep. Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em. What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? Nothing beyond checking Jason's Facebook sometimes after the breakup, I think. Even that though I wouldn't recommend doing. You're just going to get yourself hurt. Stay away from exes' profiles. Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? Yep. I don't give a fuck what's in your pants, you don't hit anybody unless you're fighting to defend yourself. What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? I mean... define "old." I'll go with The Lion King for old, and for new, uh... Finding Dory, probs. Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. I don't really know what IS trendy right now... Is Snapchat still "in?" Because I've never gotten that. “Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? I think I'm kinda neutral about it? Like I mean it also depends on exactly what is said. I prefer more loving talk, though. What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? I'm a basic fatass that likes American cuisine most, aha... Like give me a cheeseburger and I'm happy lmao. How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? I love it more now at a short length than I ever did long. When it was long and I was in my deepest depression, I was awful about brushing it. It would get so knotted. Like looking back, it nearly makes me shiver. I HIGHLY recommend cutting your hair for anyone who struggles with selfcare. How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? I'm single, but hypothetically, if you're checking an ex's page nearly every day, I would not be okay with that. I'm totally fine with exes remaining friends and just cordially talking now and again, but that's it. It's a respect thing. Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? I personally like cologne if it's not overwhelming. I really don't care if you wear it or not, though. Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? This survey is so heteronormative. But anyway, unless there was an issue like it not fitting, I'd want my spouse to wear their ring. What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? There are a lot of reasons I don't want kids. I'm too selfish with my "me" time, I stress out too easily, I don't want to dedicate my life to keeping another person alive and fed and happy, I have bad genes... I could go on and on. I just wouldn't be a good, "present" enough mom. I am much more interested in ensuring *I* am okay. Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? Not at all. I mean I want a smooth and memorable wedding, but I'm not obsessed with it being perfect. Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? That's certainly not cheating, but I wouldn't like it. Being secretive about anything in a relationship is unhealthy, imo. I'd be hurt and also very insecure because I wouldn't feel like "enough." How old is too old for trick-or-treating? Honestly? I don't think you ever are. Like come on, does it REALLY matter? Let people have fun. I don't do it because of societal standards, but I would if I didn't care about being judged. Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? It depends on the temperature, but I normally wake up with them under. Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? I have an Ozzy one stored somewhere, but it doesn't fit me now. There was another I really liked too, but that one is WAY too small now. Fries or onion rings? Fries. I'm not a fan of onion rings. True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. Story of my life. I had one last night where I kept dying in different ways, and I actually felt the pain, like drowning in magma. Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah. What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? My mom has absolutely forbidden me to get a tarantula (uh, many tarantulas in my case) until I move out, lol. That doesn't stop me from checking Craigslist like every day. ;_; Have your parents ever caught you drinking? "Caught," no. Any time I've drunk, I've had permission or was a legal adult by then. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? First be humiliated at my appearance and then absolutely pass out lmao. Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? No, thank fuck. The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? If I know it's something they wouldn't do sober, absolutely not. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Any would be lovely, but the poem would appeal most to me because of the amount of thought that goes into poetry. Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? What? I don't think so, no. Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? Halloween. What was the first website you had an email account on? Yahoo. Have you ever written a fanfic? No. Tattoos or piercings? Both are grand, but tats win. What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? I saw this picture of a snake split open that had eaten another snake. Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? Lil cozy one! I don't want more space than is needed for cleaning reasons, as well as price. Do you have a tutor for anything? No. Who’s the best kisser you know? Jason was. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? Ew, no. Do you have a deep voice? For a woman, yes. Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? Hi, I'm an adult. Is there a Sonic where you live? YES. It's my fave fast-food place. What do you like on your pizza? I have three go-tos depending on my mood: Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''leave a scar'' by marilyn manson

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crtter · 4 years

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Haven’t written my review for the new episode yet! It was another skit compilation, this time with a special focus on AUs (hence Cosplaymatsu, I believe!). There were a lot of skits, some I like more, some I like less, but overall... I’d say it was a pretty solid episode! Lots of skits means I have a lot to say so... sorry in advance for the lengthy post, heh.

In the Nothing-I-Can-Do-Police skit, Jyushimatsu and Choromatsu, in the roles of neighborhood passerbys, try to dissuade a certain desperate side character from jumping off a building. A passing policeman, played by Ichimatsu, is ill-suited to de escalate the situation though, given that he’s even more disenchanted with life than the to-be-jumper is.

Despite the heavy subject, was pretty funny to me. I wasn’t expecting to see the infamous Atsushi OR one of the Sutabaa barista girls in incidental roles like that, so that was a funny surprise. I thought Choromatsu and Jyushimatsu’s old men designs were very appealing as well. The ending was a bit predictable given the fact it’s Osomatsu-san and the thing the brothers resent the most is other people’s luck in love but I felt like it tied the whole thing together pretty well.

In The Hell?! Maid, Karamatsu is surprised when Chibita’s oden stand seems to be have rebranded itself as a Maid Oden Stand. Chibita, however, seems to be taking the maid role very seriously.

I know a lot of people dislike “boy character dresses up as a girl” jokes, very understandably so (and me included), but I personally thought Chibita dressing up as a café maid and performing the café maid role so well had a much more endearing tone than a mocking one. The humor of the skit wasn’t due to Chibita dressing up as a maid, but more due to how ill-suited oden is as a food item for a café setting and how clashing Chibita’s rude mannerisms are next to a maid’s cutesy ones, something I appreciated a lot.

Maid cafés are basically a staple of anime these days, so I also appreciated seeing Ososan’s take on it! To top it all off, we hadn’t seen Karamatsu and Chibita interact one on one like that ever since... season one? Karamatsu makes for a very good straight man next to Chibita’s particular brand of weirdness and it’s always a delight seeing those two together. Well, it’s always a delight seeing a Chibita skit, period. I just love the little guy. Definitely my favorite out of all the skits!

In No-Chance Trial, Osomatsu is brought to court to be judged for... farting crimes. Prosecutor Choromatsu and Defense Attorney Karamatsu eventually reach the agreement it’s not THAT bad of a crime. Judge Todomatsu, however, feels like the only appropriate punishment is the death penalty.

Another solid skit! I really liked the Ace Attorney references (even the BG music resembled the music of the games!) and Todomatsu’s insistence on getting Osomatsu killed for his insistent farting in his general presence got some good laughs out of me. There wasn’t a big side character presence in this episode with the exception of Chibita’s, but I liked Totoko, Nyaa-chan and Dobusu as members of the jury, and the Riceball robots as stenographers. The ending was, as Ososan is famous for, hilariously gross.

In Reborn As a Mosquito, Choromatsu is, as implied by the title, turned into a mosquito isekai-style when he laments not being able to find a girlfriend. As a mosquito, he’s free to bite pretty ladies whenever he wants to! That is... if he can bring himself to do such a uncouth thing.

This one didn’t amuse me THAT much, but it was a fairly decent skit. I liked seeing Choromatsu having second thoughts about doing something pervy for like, once in his life, heh, even if the devil on his shoulder tried to convince him otherwise. The double joke of him hating the taste of blood AND being killed right after that got a “ha!” out of me. Not my favorite and fairly uneventful but not a bad skit.

In Mister, Osomatsu is a local unemployed bum who entertain the neighborhood kids, played by his brothers, by making picture card shows in exchange for pachinko balls. The story he tells them eventually hits a little too close to home, though.

Not my favorite either, but I liked everyone’s designs a lot, and it was fun seeing the original tortoise and the hare fable getting more and more complicated as Osomatsu ends up making it about his life instead. Now, this is a VERY “me” complaint, and I’ll understand it if people don’t agree with me but! I felt like that was a role that would be better suited for Iyami. I mean, think about it! He’s already an unemployed bum living in a shabby house who’s bothered by local children in pretty much all his incarnations. It’d be perfect for him! But maybe I’m just a little miffed he didn’t show up.

Also, I feel like this might be a reference to something? I’ve definitely seen a very similar “local poor man puts on picture card shows for children” story in manga before. I’m going to look more into it to see if it’s a “thing” I’m not aware of.

In I-Do-What-I-Want Bartender, Todoko and Ichiko try to get a drink at a bar, just to find out the bartender, Karamatsu, fancies himself as an artist and refuses to serve them what they ask for, instead making fancy, elaborate drinks.

I liked seeing the Girlymatsu again! You know... even if it was just 33.33% of them, heh. This one wasn’t all that eventful either, but the joke felt pretty solid and I thought Karamatsu having so much trouble not acting on his “vision” and serving the girls what they asked for was pretty funny. Him loudly complaining thinking they couldn’t hear him was great as well.

In A Restaurant Filled With Mysteries, we see the return of Businessman Osomatsu, this time accompanied by Choromatsu as they try to get lunch in a foreign restaurant they can’t quite place where it’s from. Turns out that the restaurateur, a very unsual man from the unheard-of country of “Jyushimatsu”, isn’t going to make it easy for them.

I’ll be real: I felt like this could have... very easily taken a less-than-savory turn when it comes to mocking other cultures as “weird”, especially with the Indian-inspired imagery. In my opinion, they didn’t QUITE cross into shitty territory but they stayed... uncomfortably close to it. Reminded me a bit of the whole deal with the Oompa Loompas in the 2005 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie. The country was fictional, Jyushimatsu’s ethnicity was fictional (good call making him blue skinned) but... you know. They could have done it a little bit more tastefully. I did like the holes joke, though. It was a nice subversion of the whole “gross foreign food” trope that’s still so popular in cartoons and such.

Well, that’s it! Overall, more good points than bad points, in my opinion. Next episode seems VERY promising when it comes to Iyami but I’ll get into it into another post. This one’s too long already.

#osomatsu san #Osomatsu san spoilers #osomatsu san season 3 #long post

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herohotline · 5 years

Text

We’ve Ran Into Eachother So Many Times But You Don’t Even Know My Name

Keigo Takami x Reader

A/N: I finally finished this :,/ It came out a lot longer than i intended HHGNGh

Word Count: 4,000+

Warnings: Mentions of suicidal attempt- but that’s it, it’s a very fluffy story and that’s not the plot!

You liked a lot of things in life. You liked cats, desserts, and plants; music, dancing, and even though you hated heights, you loved airplanes. Tall buildings and their impending doom are one of the things that you just don’t agree with.

You’ve tried to quell this fear many times, and you’ve found ways around it. Every so often your friends convince you to ride the more scary roller coasters, you sit up on your apartment balcony and sit there with your music and plants as you stare down below- but you can only stomach a few seconds before you’re looking away in a fit of anxiety. You’ve even gone to therapy about it because you know that your fear of heights is linked to trauma.

You were barely a teenager when you had tried to off yourself. You were well past that phase, of course, but teen angst and the desire to end it all got the best of your young mind as you jumped off one of the tallest buildings you had access to. Thankfully, you survived, but the injuries hurt like hell and it left you with scars.

And a long-lasting fear that just won’t go away.

You suppose it's alright to have this fear- it just meant you were better. You want to be alive, and your fear was proof. But you were past that depressing teenage phase and you wanted to move on completely. It just wasn’t fair to be held back like this in your opinion.

Villains, though? You weren’t scared of villains. Well, you were reasonably scared- as you wanted to live, and they could possibly end that- but you weren’t scared scared. That’s why when there was a sudden villain attack in the mall, busting the ceiling open and trapping civilians and yourself under the damage, you weren’t scared. You kept a level head and you began counting heads.

The area you were stuck under was fairly accessible. Everyone was still standing, though some had fallen over in shock, but everyone was mostly fine. The entrance had been blocked off and some pillars broke through the small shop, but that was it. You prayed that no one was stuck under the damage somewhere else.

“There’s seven of us here,” you talk to the group, gathering the things you dropped off the floor. “We should stick together and hide in one place until the heroes get here.”

No one disagrees with you. They follow you like lost sheep as you all pile behind the cash register counter and huddle. After that, it’s a waiting game, silent beside the sound of scared breathes and quiet weeping so that the villains don’t find you.

The one who has it worse is the little girl. She’s the one crying, of course, and the woman who is assumingly her mother surrounds the child in her arms as she coos in her ear. The crying makes you uncomfortable, to be honest, so you remember the chocolate bar in your bag and hand it to her with a tense smile. The mother looks at you thankfully while it distracts the child from crying.

It truly doesn’t take the heroes a long time to find their way in the mall and cuff the villains before sending them off in police cars. That’s when damage control and civilian rescue starts- it startles all of you when the wall blocking the entrance is busted through, but bright red wings quell the fear.

It’s Hawks.

“Anyone need a ride?” He asks and you quickly stand along with the other civilians. You gently lead the mother and child his way and he grins, immediately conversing with the little girl and making her giggle before he picks them both up and flies off. Other heroes begin to make their way inside with blankets and medical gear, slowly leading all of you outside the building where it’s safe and the ambulance is waiting.

As you make your way outside, you watch as Hawks lands from his flight, two other civilians in his hold as he drops them off and then immediately sets off again, his ruby-red wings basically shining as he speeds away. You admire his tenacity and strength- how many people had he gotten out in the time of you walking from the shop to outside?

Watching him fly back again with more people than last time, you quietly thank whatever God exists that you didn’t get hurt in the wreck. You might be able to handle a broken leg or arm- but to fly in the air? Even if it was the only chance of surviving… you don’t think you’d be able to stomach it.

You leave the mall as alone and unscathed as you came.

---

The next time you see Hawks, it’s not in a life or death situation. But you still don’t talk to him- it’s really just a chance sighting at most. He had simply walked into the noodle house you frequent, picked up his order, and left with a flap of his wings, taking off into the night sky.

A part of you wonders what that’s like. To always be in the air- you suppose it’s not scary for him. But even the thought of having extra appendages seems difficult and you wonder how he learned to fly.

Was it the same as birds? Did his mother push him off a ledge one day and hope for the best? You sure hope not.

“Hey, Amakuza,” you address the cook who you were on decent terms with due to your consistent presence in his shop. “What’d the big guy order?”

Amakuza shrugs. “Your favorite, actually. Extra spicy.” He seems uninterested.

You suppose it’s not that interesting- it’s just food. But now you know that the pro-hero Hawks has good taste, though you’re unsure why you even wanted that information in the first place.

---

Your third encounter with Hawks is the one you hate the most- the one you’re most ashamed of.

He was just doing the right thing. There was construction on your way to work- apparently, they were working on the road. This didn’t concern you as you didn’t own a car, so you kept walking a safe distance away. But someone’s quirk somehow went haywire, and the drilling was loud and harsh before the road broke entirely and pieces were sent flying everywhere. The fear didn’t even register yet as it happened so fast- you were aware there was a stray slab of concrete headed your way, but before it even hit you, you were sent flying in the air.

That’s when the fear came to you, so strongly it knocked the air out of your lungs.

“That was close!” The man holding you- the man you rescued you- whistles low and casual as he keeps you up in the air.

“Let me down,” you say as soon as you can find your words. Body shaking like a leaf, you desperately grab onto his clothes- you actually look down and you can’t believe he flew you up so high. “Let me- let me down. Let me down!”

You’re so frightened that you don’t even realize you’re crying. Snot runs down your nose and tears spread across your cheeks and drip off your chin.

“Hey- are you alright? Did you get hit?”

“Let me down!” You scream, and then you start struggling against him. You’ll punch, kick, cry- you’ll do whatever you need to do to get back on the ground. “Let me down! Let me down!”

Your vision blurs with red, and suddenly you’re sitting on the broken concrete with red wings surrounding you and a blonde man looking concerned as he hovers over you. Breathing comes out short and hurried, your body still shaking so hard that it feels like you’re vibrating. The man with red wings- Hawks, you’d later realize once your head was put together- continues to hover and talk to you. You can hear the words, but they don’t process at all. He’s probably saying the things they always do- breathe, you’re okay, breathe.

Your heart feels like it’s ready to burst out of your chest as you scramble to your feet, putting a good amount of distance between you and the man who saved you. “Stay- stay away from me,” you demand as you look at him, your face scared and distraught. You continue to back away from him as if he were a threat. “Stay away from me!” And then you turn your back to him, fear driving your movements as you quickly leave the scene and scurry off to work.

People eye you the entire way. They either saw what happened or saw that you were crying in public which is already eye-catching enough, but you ignored them even as you entered your work building. Only when you locked yourself in a private bathroom did you find peace.

And you felt fucking awful, so you suppose it wasn’t peace that you found. Instead, it was a heavy, guilty heart as you were forced to go on with your day and work in a crowded office until you could retreat home, tail between your legs.

You just wish you could tell the hero that you didn’t mean it.

---

How do you tell someone you have absolutely no access to that you’re sorry?

Apparently, you go to his agency building and just hope for the best. That’s the conclusion you came to, anyway, as you walk there the next morning- being extra cautious around construction this time- with a pot in your hands.

Walking inside the building alone was anxiety-inducing. Slowly making your way to the front desk was worse. And then you had to explain yourself to the receptionist who eyed you and your plant with- assumingly- heavy judgment.

“I… um, I wanted to drop this off. For… Hawks.” You place the potted aloe vera plant down on the receptionist’s desk gently. You don’t even know if you can do this, technically, but you might as well try.

“A plant?” The woman asks.

“Yes. It’s an apology gift.” Your fingers drum on the desk. “Do you think you’d be able to make sure it gets to him?”

The woman looks unsure as she reaches forward, picking up the pot and eyeing it. She gives you a guilty look as she sets it beside her. “I’ll try. But Hawks can be rather flighty… I can’t assure you he’ll get it, or even take care of it.”

“That’s okay, I figured that. If he ever gets it… just let him know it’s from someone who is very sorry. Thank you in advance,” you bow respectfully at the receptionist before quickly leaving the building. You feel guilty for leaving her with your apology- but it’s too soon to come face-to-face with someone you yelled at. The entire walk back home you just hope that the poor plant lasts at least two months before he inevitably kills it- either because he never got it, or because he hates you.

An aloe vera plant is admittedly easy to take care of. You only water it once every three weeks or so, and it doesn’t need much sunlight. You picked it out from your collection of plants specifically because you thought it was best for someone like Hawks. Minimal care was required, it was nice and green, and if he really took care of it he could make use of its soothing gel.

You also took its meaning into mind. An aloe vera is a healing plant- as a gift, it means a wish for good health, beauty, and protection. You figure after your childish tantrum, you could at least hope he lives a healthy life.

But as you sit at home, you think it’s silly that you even bothered. Hawks probably doesn’t even want it- and the meaning of it would be lost on him. You could have at least left a card attached, but you were too chicken shit to do it.

At least you tried.

---

Ever since your last encounter with Hawks, you’ve tried harder to kick your fear in the teeth. Nearly every evening, you go up the fire escape of your building until you’re on the roof and staring at the world below. You force yourself to last at least five minutes or more before you run away. It’s easier to manage once the sun has left and the moon shines instead- in the darkness, it’s harder to see what you’re so afraid of.

It’s still there, but it’s better.

Fitting that on one of those nights you head to the top of your building is when you meet the number one hero again.

It’s a chance meeting, just like the rest. You think maybe he’s on patrol when you see him fly by- or maybe he was getting dinner, but he notices you somehow and lands on your building.

There’s a considerable amount of distance between you.

“What’s someone like you doing up here so late?” He grins- he always does. The one time you saw him without a smile was when he was trying to help you.

“Trying to overcome my fears,” you tell him honestly because he deserves at least that much. “I’m… sorry about before. I shouldn’t have lashed out on you.”

He waves his hand in dismissal, walking a bit closer to you. “Ah, it’s fine. You were scared- that’s what people do when they’re scared.”

“Still,” you frown, “I was harsh on you. I mean it when I’m sorry. I don’t like that I lost control of myself like that.”

“That’s fair,” Hawks agrees and puts his hands behind his back, the smile still coy on his face. “But you’re already forgiven. I enjoyed the plant.”

Oh. Your eyes widen in surprise, “really?” You ask.

“It wasn’t exactly hard figuring out who it was from. No one ever apologizes to me.”

“Is that because you never do anything wrong, or you’re surrounded by stubborn people?”

Hawks just hums in reply, standing next to you now as he looks up at the sky. His large wings twitch subconsciously and your eyes are drawn to them- they’re a beautiful skeptical so you’re sure he gets stared at all the time. “If you have somewhere to plant it…” You disrupt the silence softly, your feet shuffling. “The aloe vera will fully grow, and you can use its gel. It’s not really much, but it’s good to keep the skin young and for sunburns.”

The hero eyes you curiously, his smirk making you a little nervous before he looks back to the sky. “You’re a lot calmer than when we first met.”

“That’s not the first time we met,” you argue and his eyebrows lift up in surprise.

“It wasn’t?”

“No. You saved me and a few others from when the downtown mall got intruded by villains… And you also came by my favorite ramen shop, but you left as quickly as you came. So last time wasn’t the first, but the third,” you shrug, “if you want to be technical about it.”

“I’m not sure I enjoy technicalities,” Hawks laughs. “They’re too confusing to be caught up with.”

“That’s fair,” you nod.

The air is a little awkward- at least, it is for you- now that you both have nothing to talk about. You’re glad you got to apologize to him, but now you realize you know nothing about him. It’s late enough that you should probably go to bed anyway, so rather hastily you tell him that you’re going. He looks surprised as you climb down the fire escape but he says nothing other than ‘see you later’ before flying off. You halt mid-step down the ladder as you can’t help but watch- but soon he’s out of sight.

It’s amazing how fast he is. But it’s time for bed so you let out a shaky sigh as you continue your way down to the patio of your apartment.

---

The fifth time you meet Hawks, he’s the one who comes to you. You’re relaxing on your patio with a book in your hands and a stray cat that likes to hang out laying in the sunbeams when Hawks comes bustling through rather suddenly. You gasp in shock and the cat quickly scrambles away, and several of your potted plants fall off the patio.

“Hawks!” You cry, already hovering over the fence as you watch your plants fall to the concrete. A potted plant falling from such a height is already dangerous- what if it hit somebody?

But also, they were expensive and you cared about your plants very much, so you couldn’t help but sit still in shock as you watch them fall to their death. Perhaps Hawks realized the urgency in your voice- maybe he cared, because before they do, Hawks shoots down and grabs all three of the pots before they hit anyone or break on the ground.

“Sorry about that!” He apologizes as he makes his way back on your patio, a lot less rushed as he carefully holds the plants. You quickly pick them up and set them back down in their respective spots, inspecting the leaves for any damage. “You have quite the collection, huh?” Hawks looks around your tiny patio, stepping carefully around your ‘collection’. You absentmindedly hum, still looking at the Coleus’ leaves. A few of the stems had come off, but it’s mostly fine.

“It’s even worse inside,” you tell him. Hawks whistles as he looks through the glass doors and into your apartment.

“No kidding!”

“So, what are you doing here? Would you like to destroy more of my plants?” You wouldn’t lie- you’re a little peeved that they all almost died. At least he was fast enough to pick them up, but still.

Hawks makes a weird sound from his throat as he winces, a hand coming up to scratch the back of his head. “I really didn’t mean to. I actually came to ask about the aloe vera.”

You purse your lips, sitting back down on your lawnchair you placed out on the patio when you first moved in. “It’s fine. What would you like to know?”

Why didn’t he just look it up? You can’t help but wonder.

“When should I water it?”

“Every three weeks.”

“How much sun does it need?”

“Six to eight hours. Place it next to a window or in a backyard.”

“Does it need… vitamins?”

“Hawks, why are you asking me these things?” You interrupt his little quiz with a sigh. The stray cat from before finally comes back, eyeing the hero cautiously before laying down next to your feet. You pet it on the head softly with a frown. “You didn’t need to come all the way here for some basic plant care questions. What do you really want?”

Hawks clicks his tongue. “You caught me,” he says. “I really wanted to get to know you, that’s all.”

“Get to know me or get to know why I’m afraid of heights?”

He shrugs, that all too familiar smile coming back on his face. He finally sits down on the only other chair available, his wings spreading behind him before folding up. “Well, I wouldn’t complain if it was brought up.”

“Are you always known for being so crude?” You raise an eyebrow at him. So far, you’re not exactly impressed with his behavior. From a distance Hawks is charming, but right in front of you? Sure, he’s handsome, but he’s a bit blunt. A lot blunt.

“I am the man who’s a bit too fast, didn’t you know?” Hawks leans back in his seat, crossing his legs and lacing his fingers together atop his knee. “So- why are you afraid of heights?”

You roll your eyes. “Last I checked, I didn’t sign up for a therapy session. Don’t you have anything better to do?”

“I do not.” He says simply, and you don’t believe him.

“What about- I don’t know- the hundreds of villains out there?” The stray cat eventually hops on your lap, making himself comfortable while keeping a keen eye on the hero in front of you. He probably doesn’t like him- and you’re pretty sure you feel the same way.

“They’ll be taken care of. Right now I’d like to relax- I want to relax most of the time. Indulge me.”

You don’t see any real reason why you should, but Hawks is proving to be a persistent insect, so you sigh and give in. “I jumped off a building as a teenager. Now I associate heights with death. It’s like a trigger.” If he’s going to be blunt, you might as well do the same. You pet the cat’s back to soothe your agitated nerves and give him a look. “I’m mostly fine now. But you caught me by surprise that one time, which is why I reacted the way I did. Are you satisfied?”

He nods. “What’s your name?” He asks rather suddenly- and that’s when you realize that yeah, he doesn’t even know your name.

You slowly give it to him. You’re uncertain why he’d want it- but it gives you a feeling that it’s a sign he won’t be leaving you alone any time soon.

“Call me Takami. I’m sick of the hero name, anyway,” The now-named Takami inspects some of your potted plants that surround him. “Would you like to fly with me?”

His question makes you laugh in surprise. “Why?” You ask him. You could ask him this question a thousand times, really.

Why is he here? Why is he interested? Why does he care?

“Would you believe me if I told you I wanted to help?” Takami smiles again, his eyes gleaming beneath his visor.

“Why would you want to?” You’ve had enough. Picking up the cat, you gently place him down on the patio floor before sitting upright, elbows on your thighs as you stare the hero down. “I’m serious. I told you my thing, now tell me yours. Why do you bother?”

He leans forward as well and your bare toes touch the front of his boots. “I like your personality,” Takami starts, “and I’m being selfish with you. I’d like to have someone to talk to outside of the hero stuff. So I figure if I’m being selfish-“ he reaches forward and suddenly pinches your cheek, making you jolt back with an angry look. The hero grins. “I might as well help you out while I do it. And maybe I can learn more about plants or farming or whatever, too.”

You stare at him silently as you rub your sore cheek. “It’s not farming,” you grumble under your breath. Your shoulders sag in defeat as you finally break away from Takami’s gaze and your eyes fall to the floor. It’s quiet for another moment before you sigh, lips pursed. “Fine. But I’m gonna get dressed first- I don’t want my eyes to fall out from wind pressure.”

Takami hops up from his seat, his expression somehow even brighter than before with his hands on his hips. “Great! I’ll wait here.”

You groan in acknowledgment as you open your glass door and step inside your apartment- but you only make it a short distance before you come back outside. Without warning Takami, you throw a book in his direction and he easily catches it, his eyebrows raised.

“It’s a plant dictionary. I’m only gonna let you do this if you can tell me the name of three plants on my patio.” You think that’s fair enough. “You up for that?”

He's already grinning, flipping the book open. “Fuck yeah,” he says. You laugh under your breath and finally go to your room to get dressed. It’s amazing how his charm comes back full force as he stands on your patio, eagerly looking up and down from your book and muttering under his breath.

You hum. Takami is handsome, and apparently, he’s lonely, too. You suppose his offer is a mutually beneficial one- so you quickly get bundled up and find some cheap swimming goggles you bought forever ago. Honestly, you could also use a friend.

When you come back out onto the patio, Takami bursts out laughing at just the sight of you. You ignore him and put your hands on your hips, feeling confident. “Alright, I’m ready.”

“You’re not,” Takami giggles and snorts, placing the book on a miniature table. “You’ll get way too hot. Lose the snow boots, first of all. Some sneakers will be fine.”

“What if they fly off?!”

“I’m not- I’m taking you in the air, I’m not flying you full speed!” He exclaims and your shoulders sag.

“Oh. Right.”

He laughs hysterically again as you take off your boots and snow hat, along with several hoodies and sweaters. As you take off your very-many layers and toss them inside the house, you ask, “what about the plants?”

“Right,” he says, his knuckles tapping on the book he just read confidently. “There’s a Coleus, a spider plant... And a succulent,” he points at each plant as he speaks. The succulent was probably the easiest one, so you feel like that one shouldn’t count, but you keep quiet.

“Good job, you’ve won. Am I ready to go?” You think you’re finally suitable for flying- down to a single hoodie with a jacket over it, a pair of jeans and some sneakers laced up as tight as you could get them.

Takami grins, giving you the ‘ok’ sign with his hand. “Perfect,” he says. He gives you exactly 0 seconds to prepare before he picks you up, his speed suddenly showing as you’re suddenly being carried- his hands under your knees and wrapped around your back. “Okay, you ready?” He steps on top of your little fence surrounding the patio, looking down at you.

You bite your lip, looking down below. He shakes you in his arms- “hey, look at me.” You do so, nervously biting your lip even harder. “Are you ready?” Takami asks again, voice a little softer.

With a big breath, you exhale and try to relax. “Yeah,” you tell him. “I’m ready.”

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non-sequitura · 4 years

Text

Non-sequitura Disney in-depth analysis (after making a tier list)

Warning: SUPER longform. If you don’t know a movie well, you should skip the summary. I tried to be light on spoilers, but they’re there.

I went chronologically from favorite to least favorite. So S tier is, in order from fave to least fave, The Incredibles, WALL-E, then Zootopia.

S tier (Something I consider high quality AND a movie I greatly enjoy. I would love more Disney movies be like this.)

The Incredibles - one of my favorite movies of all time, possibly THE favorite. Rockin social commentary, epic action scenes, memorable characters, not a minute of screentime wasted, great take on the Fantastic Four, hilarious parts for both adults and children, an interesting villain, etc.

WALL-E - I love how social commentary was done here. Also skies above, what a beautiful love story. Really blazed a trail in non-verbal storytelling (especially given it was an animated kids film!) Robot animations are particularly delightful.

Zootopia - another social message delivered excellently and entertainingly. I love Judy and her persistence, I love the expressiveness of the faces and the epic city setting. I love Judy and Nick's banter. This movie deserves to be remembered longer than it has been so far. Admittedly, not one of my fave villains, which makes it my least favorite of the Ss.

A tier (either super high quality or something I greatly enjoy and deem of at least reasonably good quality)

Mulan - this movie did everything right. Truly feminist protagonist, an icon for strong Asian women, fairly culturally accurate (tho Mushu confuses me), GORGEOUS and iconic music. Lets a relatively natural romance develop. I frickin love the action scenes, I love the emporer. Sadly, this movie just didn't lodge its way in my heart as well as Pixar did. Pixar just has some magic, yo.

Cinderella - my gosh what an underrated protagonist. Her family straight-up abuses her and she never loses sight of her goals for a better life. Iconic visuals helped bring Disney out of bankruptcy. A gorgeous alto singing voice.

Wreck-it Ralph - alright alright ppl don’t crucify me for this. I honestly can’t think of much wrong with this movie. Vanellope and Ralph’s vitriolic best buds relationship is adorable, her forgiveness of him is heartwarming and (relatively) deserved, rockin’ Owl City song, epic visuals that mix together bc of all the different games. ALSO ONE OF THE BEST DISNEY VILLAINS NO CAP. One of the only twist villains I like. And we stan the romantic pairing.

Tangled - I’ve talked about this a lot, but Rapunzel deserved the whole world after what she’s gone through. That being said, Gothel is not some shallow monster she needs to escape from, but an intelligent, well-defined monster with backstory. I could totally see this story happening if the world of Tangled existed. Epic love story, hilarious dialogue. Music is… good but much of it is less memorable to me. Visuals are good but not quite at the level/creativity of many other disney films.

The Lion King - they really put Hamlet in Africa and pulled it off lol. But in all seriousness, no one took the premise of this film seriously at the time and it became sooo iconic. I love Scar and his eventual downfall, I love how Simba grows emotionally, I love the sad moments that don’t overpower the overall feeling of light goofiness. And music so memorable it was one of the first Disney musicals.

Coco - not a super unique story premise. But an incredible culture to explore with such creativity and sensitivity. I love the themes of death not being the worst and music being so central to the story. Twist/twist villain was memorable and not expected. And yeah, it did make me cry, so props there.

Ratatouille - the most recently watched of these films for me. This movie is soooo unique! Back when Pixar was truly super out there with their concepts. Super Parisian visuals and soundtrack. It somehow starts goofy (THE OLD LADY TRIES TO KILL REMY WITH A SHOTGUN WHILE WEARING A GAS MASK) but really drives home the message that you can truly do what you want regardless of who you are. Colette can get it. And the monologue by Ego at the end is one of my favorites in film.

Frozen - Anna is one of my favorite Disney protagonists. She’s so resilient and loyal. Elsa ain’t bad either but she experiences… less character development. The film is a tad too pleased with its own self-awareness for my taste, but there’s no denying how iconic the music and visuals were.

Inside Out - Alright, this movie hits home for me bc I tried to run away after moving. A super thoughtful, heartfelt depiction of (potentially depression? imo) with great moments of humor. Riley’s inner world is so creative and lovely. Also realistic depictions of Minnesota/California culture.

Tarzan - Jane! is! smart! and! adorable! Her scientific curiosity makes her very endearing. it’s so cute to see her and Tarzan learn from each other. Also Tarzan’s “found mother” is epic. Solid score. Solid film all around. To quote Lily Orchard, “This film is what Pocahontas tried to be.”

B tier (one of my favorites but has a few significant flaws that bring it down (or not quite as memorable to me, but consider good quality))

Peter Pan - Haven’t seen it in a hot sec, but I remember being super charmed by this as a kid. Just going out, having incredible adventures, and returning to a warm home at the end of the day. Tinker Bell is hilarious and beautifully drawn. Gets major negative points for the depiction of Native Americans tho.

Big Hero 6 - I was super charmed by the protagonist, his family/friends, and the setting. The plot/villain’s motivations are a bit of a mess, though.

Princess and the Frog - This movie has so much flavor to it! The visuals/music are lovely and unique. Tiana is incredible but it’s kinda annoying how EVERYONE keeps trying to shoehorn her into romance. The thing is, her goals are entirely reasonable. Focus on her restaurant, then look to settle down. But they’re like “nooo you’re ignoring the important things in life” smh. Also, epic villain, woohoo! The movie dragged significantly for me when they were in the bayou. Charlotte is delightful.

Winnie the Pooh - don’t remember it super well, but I think it was charming and occasionally dark, which is an addictive concoction.

The Little Mermaid - MAN ppl roast Ariel way more than she deserves. Visually, it was… fine. idk. This movie is good. I don’t have much else to say about it.

Snow White - the one that started it all. Visually, super impressive. Musically, lovely. I find the romance a bit… off. Well, more than a bit. What is it with Disney and kissing sleeping people?

Alice in Wonderland - a nerdy acid trip. Right up my alley! I also like films where ppl go on incredible adventures and return to the status quo, but THEY changed bc of it. Epic. SUUUUPER creative visual interpretation of Carroll’s book. Brave - gosh I loooove films where a parent and child learn to understand each other. Never got why ppl hated this movie so much. The Scottish flavor is present and fun. Merida made one mistake and made it up. The arrow scene is iconic.

Cars - a fun ride! (hahaha puns.) We love seeing Paul Newman as a car.

B-minus tier? (same as B, but problematic, or weaker story-wise.)

Hunchback - man… settings-wise, this film might be my favorite. I also love Esmeralda and Quasimodo as characters and as a duo (though the sexualized depiction of Romani ppl is not epic.) I also don’t find the discrimination against Esmeralda/Quasimodo jarring bc it matches the time period. Frollo is super interesting as a villain. The gargoyles are… def not necessary. Basically, this film doesn’t know what it’s doing with tone.

Sleeping Beauty - Aurora was my favorite when I was younger because I thought she was the prettiest, and that still defines how i feel about this, basically. Visually lovely - everything is kind of elongated and gothic. Maleficent is spiteful and epic. I have no issue with the fluffier parts of the movie, like the music or the fairies. RIP for lack of consent being a plot point, though.

Hercules - Megara is incredible. one of the only Disney “princesses” who acts like an adult and has cynicism as a major part of her personality. I love her and Herc’s progression where she learns to trust him (yes, he is genuinely that sincere, it’s not a front.) Muses are unique, whoever came up with them was high on something and I’m living for it. I just think the plot itself was somewhat unrealistic/ weirdly-paced. There are some memorable songs, some less-than-memorable songs. Art style is cool but I’m personally not a fan. EXTREMELY inaccurate depictions of the original Greek gods.

C tier (entertaining, but I don't consider it a great movie)

Bolt - I watched this like 11 years ago. It was fun! A cool concept about those put on a pedestal learning their worth even without celebrity boosting them up. Animation was… fine I think. not super memorable to me.

Frozen 2 - They really took any scrap of character development Elsa had in the first movie, threw it in the garbage and set it on fire. Anna deserved so much better. Songs are bombastic and impressive, have the occasional interesting lyric, but are really weirdly placed and none are quite as iconic as the first movie’s (except Aurora, she does great work here. Also the song Anna sings after she thinks Elsa died.)

Not a big fan of the vaguely homeopathic theme. Not a big fan of Olaf’s WEIRD character development. Not a big fan of the suuuuuper awkward dialogue and the animations that imply not only that Kristoff is into his reindeer but that Elsa and Anna are into each other (if you’re questioning if they did that, yes, they did, I can find screenshots of some really weird expressions/moments. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PANDER TO YOUR WEIRD FANS, DISNEY.)

The voice actors did great work, the animators did great work (look at the details on their clothes! Look at how Elsa’s posture changes to be more confident! look at how they're animated while they're singing!) Some weird costume/makeup choices that make Elsa look like an aging starlet, but she also has some gorgeous moments so eh. It’s a wash for me.

They really did not know what to do with Kristoff this movie, huh. The only thing that happened to him was singing a cheesy 90s ballad and marrying Anna, both of which were admittedly epic. Also, the trolls got 0 appearances despite being literally psychic. Probably could have helped with a lot. I'm not a huge fan of lore/worldbuilding, and thee was a lot of it here. Overall neutral on it.

Also a big theme in this movie I don’t love - **** TANGIBLE CONSEQUENCES TO OUR ACTIONS!!! The danger is Elsa’s death, the elements, colonialism, and Arendelle literally being destroyed. None of those end up playing out, so I was left at the end going “this film had literally no stakes.”

Monsters U - same as above - entertaining at the time! Not super memorable. The ppl we were supposed to dislike kept switching. Doesn’t really match the canon of Monsters Inc (I thought they were supposed to have known each other since childhood so why did they meet in college?)

Cars 3 - so apparently, everyone HATED this movie! Fun! I never watched Cars 2 (yes watched Cars 1 if you haven’t been paying attention to this list), but I didn’t think this movie was bad at all. Well-acted, some fun chase scenes, the scene where Lightning fails at driving in the simulation is genuinely hilarious, and some interesting perspectives on teachers getting the spotlight for their skills for once.

Incredibles 2 - I liked this film at first, but then it was… just okay in retrospect. I love me some good family dynamics. The plot here makes not a lot of sense. THEY BUILT UP THE UNDERMINER FOR NOTHING AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT HIM. I was surprised by the villain swap, but it happened so last minute I never really understood their motivations even after they explained them. Tried to tackle waaaay too many messages.

D tier (I didn't enjoy these or consider them mediocre)

Finding Dory - Maybe I should have put this higher? Like C tier at least. Ah well. Wasn’t a huge fan of the body/physical comedy (not my thing), but it was entertaining and awww finding family is heartwarming.

Finding Nemo - I remember nothing about this movie.

E tier (this film has significant problems)

Beauty and the Beast - *sigh*… I want to love this movie. The score is gorgeous. Visually, they could have made it more distinctly Rococo-era France but didn’t (why?) The voice actors did good work and I think Paige O’Hara is SUPER underrated here.

The Beast is emotionally manipulative with an awful temper that (for MOST of the movie. He doesn’t change.) That’s the main reason this is in E tier. This movie shaped so many generations of people thinking they can change the behavior of someone who treats them badly through the power of love. But you can’t. She learns to “love” the beast under coercion. It’s not Stockholm syndrome - it’s a trashy romance novel. Big fan of Gaston as a villain. He’s an archetype ppl can recognize and it’s so satisfying to hate him.

F tier (I think this film actively harms the industry and would rather it not have been made. Both the one in E tier could be considered harmful to the industry, but I think they had significant enough artistic accomplishments to scrape above that. I'm also generally a fan of "lack of censorship bc it's better to teach what not to do.")

Pocahontas - this movie took real historical events and romanticized them AND sexualized one of the only Native princesses they’ve had. Boo. Nothing wrong with animation!Pocahontas as a character, it’s just people put her in a story that doesn’t represent history well at all (and these historical events, unlike those in say, 14th-century Germany, had super relevant effects on people alive today.) And they portrayed the Native Americans and colonial settlers as equally in the wrong. (though I like Governor Radcliffe as a potential villain and love the line “see how I glitter.” I can’t NOT laugh when I hear it.) Lovely music, though. Nice animation, but the colors are weirdly… muted?

Bad Garbage (I don't wish this film had never been made, but I wish I never had to see it.)

Planes - this movie was ridiculous. I remember not much about it except that I kinda hated it and that it was super cheesy with tension one could see right through that immediately resolved itself via one twist or another.

Haven’t seen tier: Recess, A Bug’s Life, A Goofy Movie, DuckTakes Movie, Lilo and Stitch, Pinocchio (actually i have seen this but I remember nothing about it), The Nightmare before Christmas, Toy Stories 1, 2, and 3, Up, 101 Dalmatians, The Great Mouse Detective, Cars 2, Moana, The Good Dinosaur, Pete’s Dragon, Fantasia, Peter Pan Return to Neverland, Fantasia 2000, The Black Cauldron (read the book, though!), Bambi (or I did and remember nothing about it), The Rescuersm, The Rescuers Down Under, Planes Fire and Rescue, Bambi 2, The Fox & the Found, Oliver and Company, Atlantis, Treasure Planet (I want to, though), Piglet’s Big Movie, The Jungle Book, the Emporer’s New Groove, The Jungle Book 2, Chicken Little, Brother Bear, The Three Caballeros, Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, Dumbo, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, Aladdin (seen parts but never the whole thing), Strange Magic, The Sword in the Stone, James and the Giant Peach, Frankenweenie, Lady and the Tramp, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Doug’s 1st Movie, Monsters Inc. (want to, though), Meet the Robinsons, Dinosaur, The Aristocats, Robin Hood, The Tigger Movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, that pooh movie at the end without the title on it

-11/21/20

#blog #non-sequitura-blog #11/21/20 #november #2020 #longform #analysis #disney

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noobsomeexagerjunk · 4 years

Text

Left Undone

Ted didn’t want to babysit Bill’s daughter. He didn’t like Bill, and Bill didn’t like him. Why did he have to be the only one in the office who was free for the weekend? Alice didn’t exactly want to be babysat either. She’s too old for that!

Little did Ted and Alice know how much fun they were going to have.

(AU wherein Alice has not dated Deb yet, Bill hasn’t divorced yet either; MASSIVE SPOILERS for BoJack Horseman Season 3 and Moulin Rouge! are discussed)

Friday Prologue | Saturday Chapter | Sunday Chapter | Monday Epilogue

Alice woke up fairly well-rested Saturday morning, forgetting for a second that she wasn’t in her own house.

Ted Spankoffski’s house had 3 bedrooms. One was a master bedroom where Ted slept and also did any other non-CCRP related work. Another was a room where Ted’s nerdy brother stayed for the Summer; ever since Ted got himself a house, his younger brother would stay over at his place during holidays and academic breaks.

Then there was the spare guest bedroom Alice was in where Ted had to set up for her the previous evening. It was very plain.

She went downstairs, explored a little, then found no one. She went back up, knocking on Ted’s bedroom door. No response.

Alice then decided to wash up instead, to feel fresh in the morning. She did all the work in the downstairs bathroom (Ted specifically told her to use that particular bathroom), leaving it as neat as it was before she came to the house.

She tried to knock on the door again, the increased strength of her rapping revealing to her that the room had not been locked, or closed properly for that matter.

She peeked in to find Ted who was still asleep, clutching a laptop like a stuffed toy. His shirt, boxers, and socks tied together with his slumped figure, which also seemed intertwined with the bedsheets. There were used tissues all over the bed, some on the floor making a trail to a semi-used paper towel roll. There were an empty bowl and two empty beer bottles on the bedside table. It reeked of Corona and clearly imported Honey Butter Chips.

Alice stepped in to try to wake Ted up, but the floor creaking below her was enough to make him jolt awake.

“Who the fu-“ Ted calmed down from the shock of waking up so suddenly, “A-Alice?! Shit, I forgot you’re here,”

“I-Is there anything I can eat?”

Ted rose from his position, sitting upward on his bed, “...are you allergic to eggs? Milk?”

“No, I’m not allergic to either.”

“Good,” Ted yawned, getting up and stretching, “because my fridge is fucking empty.”

“I noticed.”

That was hyperbole...sort of. The only breakfast that could be made from Ted’s pantry was egg toast and cereal. There was enough for both of them to finish all of said egg toast and cereal.

“What were you watching last night?” Alice asked Ted, playing with her fruit loops a little.

“Hm?” He swallowed the last bite of his toast with instant coffee.

“You were crying for about thirty minutes; I couldn't sleep-”

“I-It was a sad episode, alright?!” Ted was slightly embarrassed, hesitating to take another sip of coffee, “That fucking baby seahorse will never know...”

Alice raised a brow, unaware of the reference. She ate some more cereal.

“Don’t give me that look, Alice!” That was Bill’s glare, alright, “BoJack Horseman is a very good show!”

“And you binged the whole thing last night?”

“It’s the new season. I’ve got two episodes left before I finish.” Ted then proceeded to chug down what was left of his coffee.

“My laptop died during my binge but it was late and I was just,” He blew a raspberry, “...I needed to sleep.”

“I’ve done that before, not gonna lie,” Alice place down the spoon, done with her breakfast, “Though, the show I watched was kinda...yeah, it was kinda shitty,”

“Let me guess: you’ve watched it because someone hot’s in it,”

Alice blushed, “I-It’s not just that!”

“Hey hey hey,” Ted chuckled, “I’m guilty of that, I ain’t judging.”

Alice hmphed, “Should I watch that—what’s that show?”

“BoJack Horseman?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm,” Ted then began cleaning up by taking Alice’s utensils, stacking them with his, “it starts weak but gets so much better, like real fucking better. Dunno if you’re old enough to watch it though,”

“I’ve seen some pretty adult stuff! Mom makes me watch Tarantino movies with her, at least whenever Dad's not around sometimes,"

Ted nodded at Alice’s mother’s taste in film, “Aight, but that show just...it just hits somewhere really hard when you’re in your early thirties full of regret and with no discernible life direction but, hey! If you can take it, I’d be impressed.”

Alice blinked, “What? Is it like, psychological horror? The kind rooted in some comedically timed socio-political commentary?”

“Well, arguably.” Ted then got up to bring the dishes in his hands into the kitchen.

“...where can I find it?” She asked with mild interest.

“Netflix,” The sound of dishes landing in a sink was heard from Alice’s seat, “It’s a cartoon too, and like, about a bunch of animals, if those kinds of things float your boat.”

Alice never made it past Episode 1 when she tried to watch it herself, convinced Ted’s taste was shit. Personally, she will regret that.

The rest of that morning left Alice and Ted to their own individual devices. Alice typed away some interesting plots and ideas on her phone. Ted went to finish the last episodes of that sad horse show.

An hour before the time Alice would usually eat lunch, she had been cycling around various plotlines for a potential...well, something. Alice knew she just had to write something.

She was in the living area of the house when she heard Ted sloppily walk down the stairs. His eyes were teary.

"Are you alright, Mr. Spankoffski?" She looked at him with concern.

Ted shakily neared her, hesitating to sit on the couch next to her. He instead placed a languid hand on one of the couch's armrests.

"Please don't die on me, Alice, oh my God..."

He broke into sobs. Alice could only stare at this behavior in confusion.

"Did something bad happen in the show, or...?"

"Fuck, it got worse!" He sniffled, "A-And not, like, n-not in a bad writing context--that show's writing is the shit, Alice! But fuck! F-Fuck!"

Sarah Lynn was not supposed to die, but she did die and the fact left Ted devastated. A part of him knew it was gonna happen as he saw the old man, er, horse, and the poor girl in the motel, missing the Oscars. (Then again, that show had a penchant for hollowing, tragic endings per episode.)

Even in entertainment, in his favorite shows to watch, Ted Spankoffski knew better than to hope. It was more realistic for him.

"You can sit down," Alice moved aside to give Ted space to sit.

Ted cried as he sat next to her, "God, I'm sorry y-you had to see me like this,"

"I've...I-I've had worse breakdowns over a show. I-It's all good."

TV and Movie homophobia still haunted the teenage girl.

It's things like that, whether extravagant or subtle in delivery, that prompted her to write and clarify in any way that she could if only to fight. Alice Woodward was the kind of girl who refused to despair.

"Yeah, A-Alice?"

"Mhm," She nodded, quickly writing "character gets sucked into a tv show???" in her phone's Notes app.

"What if we watched something less depressing instead? You can watch it with me, Alice!" Ted breathed, "You're not bored, are you?"

She added "literally? figuratively? ehhh let the watchers decide??? kshfukdhivg" then kept her phone.

"No! N-No, I know how to keep myself, um, b-busy," Alice then shifted herself into a more comfortable position, "What movies do you have?"

Ted paused before answering, realizing he was hungry.

“You pick,” He said, getting up, “You want pizza with that?”

Alice nodded eagerly, watching Ted head for his phone.

“Wait, what am I supposed to pick?”

“There’s a bunch of CD cases in the drawer under the center table—it’s right in front of you!” Ted's voice decrescendoed as he headed upstairs.

“Drawer?” Alice wondered to herself, bending down to inspect the described center table. There was in fact a drawer.

She pulled it open to find bunches of CD cases, charging wires, and what clearly seemed to be unusable gadgets or “e-junk” as her father would, in a terribly corny way, put it.

Alice noticed a notable amount of movie musicals in one bundle of CD cases. The one that got her attention was Moulin Rouge!, unfamiliar with the title and very taken by the red-haired beauty printed on the cover. There was Jesus Christ Superstar, West Side Story, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and a bunch of Disney Princess movies. Upon further inspection of the non-musical movies, Ted had a diverse taste in film, though it was primarily pretty basic in Alice's opinion, minus a few exceptions.

She closed the drawer, further inspecting the Moulin Rouge CD cover by reading the synopsis on the back. An aspiring writer falls in love with a courtesan but other things get in the way? Alice could not blame the writer, in fact, she was quick to identify with him, even if she had not seen the movie yet.

“Alice?” Ted called from upstairs, “Are you allergic to anything I should know?”

“No,” She called back, playing with the CD cover.

“Good! I’m getting us a Bacon Surprise,”

“Alright,” Apparently Ted chose to order from that Witchwood Ovens Shop downtown.

“What movie do you wanna watch?” Ted asked as he went back down. Alice showed him the CD cover.

“Moulin Rouge?” He mispronounced, “I actually have that in there?”

Alice handed the cover to Ted as he approached her, “I don’t think I’ve seen this one,”

“No shit, Alice. This movie’s got prostitution; if I know your Dad enough,” He stared at the cover, trying to remember when he got it, "he would make sure you'd never see it. God, I remember seeing this in the theater, like, when I was about your—h-how old are you again?"

"Fifteen, but I'll be sixteen later this year,"

"Eh, close enough," Ted then placed the CD cover down, ready to set up the television set in the living room.

"Nicole Kidman, man..." Ted dusted the CD player, plugging the TV into it, "She was the fucking best in that thing."

"Do you even know what happens in it?" Alice asked as she watched Ted at work, "Or were you just hoping Nicole Kidman would step on you?"

"Don't you fucking shame me, Alice!" Ted gasped back as he blushed, "If you had any taste in women, you'd want the same Goddamn thing."

Ted guessed correctly, keeping the girl from returning his snark.

It was around the Elephant Love Medley when the pizza arrived. Ted was kind enough to pause for Alice as he went to get the pizza. Alice was still recovering from the exhilaration of the past few songs, overwhelmed with the crowd-like effect of the cheesy-Jukebox mashups that introduced Christian to that infamous dancehall, the gratuitous use of slow-mo effects, and the ridiculous use of that Can-Can. It was "Spectacular Spectacular" indeed!

Alice almost choked on her pizza during the Like A Virgin scene. It was also very clear to her, as they watched, that Ted must've forgotten a lot of what had happened in the film given some of his reactions. Ted cursed The Duke repeatedly, particularly at that scene when he found out about the true nature of Christian's play.

Ted believed that he should've seen Satine dying coming. He saw this movie before. The movie literally said so right at the start!

Why, as he watched, did he want that happy ending when the opposite was inevitably going to happen?!

Something about Satine charmed Ted, in a particularly nightmarish way. The idea of further thinking about it was repressed repeatedly, refusing to confront the roots of it all. Surely it was just him being a horny bastard, right? Right?

This totally had nothing to do with the fact that Satine had vibrant red hair, cerulean eyes, polished milky skin, and a beautiful figure.

This totally had nothing to do with how familiar this fictional character seemed to be, resembling someone Ted remembered with intense, bittersweet longing.

This totally had nothing to do with the sight of Satine breathing her last breath on a bed of roses reminding Ted of a memory that he swore hadn't happened yet.

Or it did happen?

Why debate when it happened when it shouldn't have happened at all? It wasn't supposed to happen, whatever that thing was that Ted didn't need to remember at the moment. And yet...

She didn't make a sound. Heartbreak was never so loud.

Alice's sniffling brought Ted back to reality. Ted put a hand on her shoulder.

"God, I-I look so stupid," Alice chuckled out from her tears, rubbing her teary eyes, "they literally say it in the beginning, ugh!"

Ted coddled her closer to him so he could hug her but Alice recoiled back.

"T-Thanks, but we both smell like pizza," Ted nodded back in response.

As he cleaned up the living area, he asked Alice, "How was the movie?"

"It was pretty cheesy," She pulled out her phone again, inspired to write, "but kinda fun? Like, you don't get fun movies with this much energy, at least, when I try to compare, well. You know what I mean."

"Yeah," Ted replied absent-mindedly, "It certainly brings back memories of, well, certain times."

"I think it kinda comes off as an epic-like piece,"

"No need to wax academic, Alice,"

"You asked for it!"

"I asked about how it was, not for an essay about its themes and shit!" Ted straightened himself up with a chuckle, "It's just a movie, after all."

"It hits different though," She spat back, focused now on her phone.

Witchwood Oven Shop pizzas were notably heavier on the stomach compared to their competitors. Any leftover pizza the two had for lunch that day, Ted proceeded to reheat for dinner. He scavenged his refrigerator for any packs of instant lemonade, which were thankfully there, and prepared two glasses for the two of them.

It was a shitty excuse for dinner, but Alice didn't seem to mind. She was very concentrated on her phone.

"What'cha writing about?"

Alice tilted her phone as to hide it, "It's not really much yet. It's all a bunch of prompts so far."

"You can pitch me stuff," He swallowed a bite, "Which ones really get to you?"

"Well," She hesitated.

"Well?"

"I-I've got a traveling adventure in a fancy, cultured but mysterious new town..."

"Anything else?"

"Still deciding whether I should make it a horror or a comedy. Besides that, it's all gonna rest on a foundation of romance between our main character, and, well..."

"Who?"

"I don't know! It's all I got so far!"

"Hey, it's not bad," Ted sipped his lemonade, "You know, I bet with enough time, it can become something really fucking great. I'd be invested if this was a movie or a staged production of sorts, I don't know,"

"Y-You think it's good, Mr. Spankoffski?"

"Oh hell yeah," He placed the glass down, "Not to be cheesy, but romance really gets me."

"Yeah, same."

"Have you considered making it some sort of horror-comedy romance? I would love it if you could pull it off."

#eternal reverie #left undone #kim whalen would make such a great satine #starkid #team starkid #starkid fanfic #starkid au #nightmare time spoilers #ted spankoffski #alice woodward

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retvenkos · 4 years

Note

Congratulations! Can i please have a 🔥 for Enola Holmes , the Maze runner and Percy Jackson/ Heroes of Olympus ship? Im a girl (17 years old) , bisexual , ENFP and a Gryffindor .I absolutely adore baking/cooking, skateboarding , photography and all kinds of art ( painting, theatre , music etc.).Im also into astrology and love reading about conspiracy theories and urban legends.🍪

I’m an extrovert with a pretty loud laugh , I love going to parties and telling jokes.Im also really protective of my friends and a loyal person ( the mom friend). I always stand by what i believe is right and defend anyone who needs it. Some of the things i dislike are coca cola , chihuahuas and close minded people. Hope thats enough , thank you in advance!🍪

Enola Holmes:

I ship you with Enola Holmes!

first of all, enfp’s are very independent, so you definitely need someone who will give you room to do your own thing while also being supportive and if that isn’t enola, then what is?

she 100% believes in autonomy while also being fairly practical - something that is needed if the two of you are going to be together.

i feel like you have so many interests and are pulled in so many directions, you need someone who can keep up with you as well as catch your eye - and enola holmes has so much going on at all times, it will always be a romp, hanging out with her.

furthermore, enola has probably dabbled in the majority of your interests, so she will either do them with you, try them out, or just watch you (because let’s be real here - enola on a skateboard in a modern au? a disaster waiting to happen).

i believe wholeheartedly that enola loves your conspiracy theories and urban legends, and who knows? maybe the two of you will set out to prove some of them. sherlock will say the two of you are wasting your time because he doesn’t believe in stuff like that, and while enola may not believe in all of them, she would still listen to you ramble.

enola loves the fire in you - the way you stand up for what you believe in and your utter enthusiasm for life. she’s constantly surrounded by her brothers who are pretty jaded, and she often needs someone to remind her that the future is up to her - that this world can be whatever she makes of it.

enola definitely appreciates your art - she’s probably terrible at it herself, seeing as she doesn’t have much patience - but she loves to look at yours and listen to you ramble about it

and while you both lack a some practicality when it comes to daily struggles like upkeep or what have you, you both work on it together, and it’s something the both of you will remind the other in passing

enola has taken to writing on sticky notes to remember to do things, and you give each other arbitrary rewards for having done those basic tasks.

or, maybe you will do some baking if enola consistently does the dishes and she will buy you film for your camera if you manage to get all the laundry done for the week.

you both are very passionate people, so i imagine there’s always a bit of chaos, but you are both very extroverted, fun-loving people, so it’s never obnoxious (to the two of you, anyway)

i imagine the two of you end up doing a lot of active things - like going on walks or going to strip malls and window shopping. you just like to do things that keep you in forward motion or do things that seem new and exciting.

TMR:

I ship you with Minho!

first of all, both of you are energetic, passionate people. both of you are constantly doing something, searching for a way out of the maze or a way to live just a bit better. the two of you would never give up on finding a way out, and no doubt that means the two of you end up convincing others not to give up, too.

and you both are willing to stand up for what you know is right, or for those people you believe in! you probably both end up advocating for the same person on occasion, and maybe that’s what first makes you both notice the other.

and at the little parties that the gladers have, you and minho are always in the thick of things, laughing and making jokes. it’s a way that the two of you are able to destress and pretend like things are normal.

on a few nights when you can’t sleep, you go out to look at the sky and think about what all of this means - the maze, the grievers, and everything else. you’re mind can go into overdrive, considering all of the different possibilities, but it feels good to have answers, even if they are fabricated.

one night, minho can’t sleep either, and he finds you. the two of you talk late into the night, about everything and everything, and the two of you swap conspiracies and talk about the few memories you have and what they could mean. mostly, both of you just remember fear.

and when you get emotional and your mind starts to race, minho is able to bring you back from the edge. he has a steadiness to him that isn’t found in many other places, and it’s comforting.

and in a modern au, minho would love to skateboard. he’s still a runner, mostly, but he’d go to skateparks with you and you would both be terrible at patching up scrapes and bruises, but you’d both have lots of fun

minho also probably has the best taste in music - he’s especially fond of the kind of music that just embodies teen angst - so the two of you would swap music all the time

ngl, minho probably dislikes chihuahua’s too... yappy dogs aren’t his style.

getting minho into the arts would be a laugh - he’d probably be most keen to photography - but he’d listen to you while you ramble about your art. he wouldn’t understand it, but he’d love that you love it.

i feel like your relationship would be high energy all the time, but you’d get deep talks in between your shenanigans - minho probably isn’t into opening up, so it’s a process.

PJO/HOO:

I ship you with Percy Jackson!

admittedly, i don’t remember much about pjo, so this might be a little rough.

i think percy needs someone with energy - someone who can keep up with him and his killer quests and manage to have fun of them

and we all know that percy is a skater boi so....

when percy learns that you bake and cook! he’s going to make some good food with you, teaching you the art that is blue food. it’s very sweet and the two of you are definitely messy bakers, but it’s more about the experience than the actual food, right?

i also feel like percy would appreciate your painting and photography! i feel like percy has these really emo moments™ that will hit him out of nowhere, and he’d probably experience a lot of those when looking at art. he just has time to look within himself, y’know?

he’d get all the feels from your work and would assure you that even though he’s crying, it’s really good!

and something i think is important to your relationship is that you can get percy to relax. this man deserves a break, so the fact that you are able to get him to take some quiet, calm moments means everything. furthermore, you’re so observant! you can tell when the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders, and you are able to swoop in and give him a well deserved break.

you’re just like “let. percy. REST.” or that meme where it’s like *person a gets a papercut* person b: gods, hasn’t he been through enough?

and both of you are so loyal, i can just see your relationship working really well. percy deserves a protective significant other, and i 100% believe you could fill those shoes.

also, the fact that camp half-blood is probably the biggest conspiracy theory the world could ever fathom makes your interest in conspiracies all the more funny - you and percy both are trying to constantly prove theories because if chb exists, imagine how many others are real! and annabeth is sobbing because she just wants one (1) day without your shenanigans.

also, ummm, percy is a slytherin and a slytherin x gryffindor relationship has so much potential for teasing and prank wars don’t @ me

take part in my 2.5k celebration

#2.5k celebration!#celebration #lxncelotships

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luckyspike · 5 years

Text

An Absolute Menace - A Good Omens fanfiction

behold and lo for i have heard your cries for a sequel to the whole Crowley is a twitch streamer story

and i have written this monstrosity (4k words)

have fun enjoy

(credit to BrownMan and LetsPlay, without whose playthroughs I never would have been able to accomplish this level of detail since i do not own the game or requisite gaming system)

2000 hours GMT: Stream time.

There is only one problem tonight, and that problem is that Crowley, retired demon and part-time Twitch streamer, has lost his voice. Oh, certainly, he could miracle his vocal cords back to health, soothe the inflammation brought on by an entire afternoon screaming at Manchester the day prior, no problem. But that would remove his excuse to look forlorn while Aziraphale brewed yet another pot of honey-infused tea, and more importantly, would negate his entire strategy for the stream tonight.

If asked directly, he would deny that he had intentionally screamed exceptionally loudly the day prior. That would be an outright lie but, well, demon.

“Come on, angel,” he wheedles hoarsely, over the rim of a steaming mug of tea. “Please?”

“I don’t know the first thing about video games, dear boy.” Aziraphale maneuvers the mug away from Crowley for a second, long enough to deposit a dollop of honey into the mug and stir it in. “I don’t understand why you don’t just fix it for yourself. Really, frivolous miracles aren’t exactly something we should be worried about anymore -”

A memory swims to the forefront of Crowley’s brain, and he slumps. Tries to look pathetic. Aziraphale is better at it, always, but Crowley is fairly competent when he needs to be. “It’s not the same,” he manages. He sounds absolutely pathetic, and his voice cracks pitifully at the end. “It doesn’t work the same.” He sips the tea - too much honey for him, it mingles unpleasantly with the ever-present taste of ash, but it does feel good going down. “Come on, angel, I’ll pick a really easy game. Just tonight. Please?”

Aziraphale watches him for a moment. Frowns thoughtfully. Sips his own tea. “You planned this.”

“I did not.” He sets the mug down, sprawls across the counter, and looks up at Aziraphale, eyes wide and pleading. “Please, Aziraphale. It’ll be on the Switch, nice and easy, I’ll sit right next to you the whole time in case you need help. I can’t do a three-hour talking thing tonight.”

“Hm.” He purses his lips. Takes another sip of tea. “You’ll owe me.”

“Absolutely. Anything you want. Baked goods, rare books … I’ll even go to the opera, if you want. One whole night, not a word out of me, just respectful and quiet.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” It is an agreement, and the angel sets his own mug down, the better to straighten his bow tie. “You swear it’ll be an easy game, yes?”

“Cross my heart,” says Crowley, solemn. “It’s about animals. You like animals.”

“I do, rather.”

Aziraphale sits, awkwardly, in Crowley’s usual chair in front of the bank of monitors in the den while Crowley fiddles with a few things on the computer. He hands Aziraphale the controller, briefs him on the buttons (“Right, move with that thing, yeah just push it around, you’ll figure it out, and your right hand has all the little letter buttons”), and then, after affirming that they’re both ready for whatever Crowley has in store, starts the stream.

He starts, as he always does, with the introduction: “Hey guys, welcome to the stream, I’m your host AJ, variety streamer and quite possibly the oldest streamer on Twitch*. And this is … uh, Ari Fell, he’s been in a few videos, why don’t you introduce yourself?”

[* He definitely is. By a long shot.]

Aziraphale had been in a few videos by this point, most significantly the infamous Nuzlocke run of Pokemon X, which was thrilling and captivating and ended up with both of them crying over the untimely demise of Blanche Devereux, the plucky little Diggersby that perished in the final conflict with the Elite Four. He’d been in a few others, too, and by now they have a routine down. Crowley has the same standard introduction every time, but when Aziraphale makes an appearance, he likes to mix it up.

“Yes, I’m Mr. Fell. AJ’s best friend, his eternal nemesis and your … ah, local tartan enthusiast.”

Crowley snorted. “Accurate. Anyway, as you all -” all 500 people, and counting, although Aziraphale tries immediately to banish that thought and forget that section of the monitors ever existed “- can probably tell, got a bit of a voice problem right now, not really up to a full stream, so I’ve pulled in the backup to try out a little game that’s gotten a lot of press in the past but I never got around to it. You’ll like it, s’got animals in it.” He taps a few buttons on the computer, and the game screen changes. Soothing piano music begins, and they are both bathed in the blue light of the monitor. “So this is Untitled Goose Game by House House. Now, angel -” Aziraphale ignores the deluge of heart icons that fills the chat “- you have never played this game before, correct?”

“You know I haven’t.”

“Great. So the whole point is to be a goose and complete the items on your checklist. Hit ‘begin’.” He coughs, and takes a swig of tea as the screen loads in an image of a little clearing. “Right, says ‘press Y to honk’ so press the Y button and honk.”

Honk. Aziraphale frowns. “Is this the whole game?” Honk. Honk. Honkhonkhonkhonkhonk.

“Nah, says press B to run.” Aziraphale, a little tentatively, begins to maneuver his goose avatar around the screen. He gets increasingly confident, following the tutorial as it directs him.

“Oh, wings, of course, my wings. Can I fly?”

“Nah. Grounded like the rest of us poor saps.” He grins in the face of Aziraphale’s scowl, and takes a diversionary sip of tea. Honk. “Right, through the gate, there you go, tutorial done.”

“Seems simple enough.” Aziraphale is studying the screen, thoughtful, as his goose paddles across the lake. “Now, you said a to-do list - oh! Oh, where’s the dash button? Ah, there. Yes. Excellent, alright. So first it looks like we need to get into the garden.” Crowley nods, and Aziraphale reads on. “Get the groundskeeper wet? What has the groundskeeper ever done to me?”

“Nothing. When has a goose ever needed justification for its actions?”

“Hm, yes. Yes, I suppose you’re right. ‘Steal the groundskeeper’s keys’.” He sighs. “Crowley you picked this game on purpose. You wanted to tempt me into making mayhem.”

Crowley is laughing. “I did,” he confirms. “Oh, definitely, definitely did.”

“Right, well, I suppose it’s just a video game.” He straightens up a little. “And I am a goose. They’re practically agents of chaos in their own right anyhow, so nothing lost.” Crowley is laughing and coughing in the background, curled up in his chair with his free arm around his knees. “Very well. ‘Make the groundskeeper wear his sun hat.’ That one’s not so bad. ‘Rake in a lake’ … well rakes are waterproof so - oh! Have a picnic! How nice.” Crowley does not agree, mostly because he is too busy laughing.

“I suppose I’ll start with the nicer ones.” He leaves the to-do list, and starts wandering around in the game. “Is there a way into the garden? Perhaps if I get on top of these bags. Is that a radio?” Crowley giggles, although it comes out more of a whimper. “I’ll just move that. I say! Bagpipes!”

“I think I need this for the picnic, anyway, don’t I? Where do I go to find the blanket?” He runs around for a minute, radio playing some kind of bagpipe rendition. Honk. “Argh!” The groundskeeper appears from stage right, and begins to pursue the goose. “No, I need this! No, it’s mine now!” The goose swims into the lake. “Hah! Mine. No!” The groundskeeper pursues him, and the goose drops the radio. “No, I took that!” Honk. Honk honk. The goose pursues the groundskeeper now, and snatches the radio back out of his hand, turning and escaping hurriedly into the pond. “Haha! Catch me now!” The goose paddles across the pond, escaping under the bridge. When he crosses under the bridge, the groundskeeper turns back, defeated. “Crow - AJ, look! I got the radio!”

“Yeah.” Crowley is wheezing, curled up in the chair, the tea safely stashed on the nearest plant stand. “Good job, buddy, you got it.”

“Did you see him chase me into the pond? The cheek. I did mark off the ‘get the groundskeeper wet’ item though.” On-screen, the goose is wandering around, tinny music blasting from the radio. “Now if I could only find the blanket …” He looks happily surprised. “Aha, but he opened the garden gate!” The goose waddles toward the gate, when suddenly the groundskeeper appears from the garden, summoned by the siren song of his radio. “No! No, not again!” Honkhonkhonkhonk. The goose, once again, flees into the pond and under the bridge. “Give up already, you stupid man!”

“I’m dying,” Crowley gasps hoarsely in the background. “I’m actually dying.”

“Where’s the blanket?” Aziraphale is coming as close as he ever does to snarling. “I have never in all my years had to work this hard to have a picnic!”

Crowley is clutching his sides. “That makes one of us,” he manages, before lounging back in the chair and coughing, face aching from laughing. “Oh I’m gonna die.”

“When have you had to put in this much effort for a picnic?” Aziraphale grouses, before he brightens when he spots the plaid picnic blanket. “Ha! Got it!”

“Oh, I dunno, basically from ‘You go too fast for me’ until about three years ago.” Honk. The goose freezes because Aziraphale has whipped around in his chair, the better to glare at Crowley.

“Dear boy.”

“You asked,” he says, before he dissolves into giggles again. “Go on, you have to finish the picnic.”

Honk. “We’ll discuss this later.”

“I imagine we will.” Crowley lunges forward, taps a button on the keyboard, and leans in close to Aziraphale, smarmy grin plastered on his face. “Love you, you’re pretty.”

“There’s a microphone -”

“Muted it.”

“... You’re an absolute nightmare.”

“And you’ve got 600 people watching you pretend to be a goose.” He jerks his head toward the computer. “Game on, angel.” The button is tapped again, the microphone live again. “Sorry, technical difficulties, nothing to see here. How’s the picnic going?”

Gradually, the items for the picnic are assembled. Aziraphale, as the groundskeeper goes on chasing him, becomes more antagonistic. “I’m going to steal this crate just because I can.” He gasps. “A goose hole!”

“A goose hole!” Crowley wheezes behind him. “Yes, a goose hole! Get his keys and throw them in the pond!”

By the time the to-do list updates with ‘make the groundskeeper hit his thumb with a hammer’, Aziraphale has fully embraced his bastard side and is more than eager to honk with prejudice. The second phase of the game is worse: the shopkeeper that continuously chases him away with a broom becomes the fully-realized subject of his ire, and Aziraphale pursues her with all the determination of a spiteful avenging angel. When the challenge comes to lock her in the garage, he complies with gusto, even confining her beyond the required instance.

“You stay in there you hateful creature,” he grumbles, as the door once again comes down and entraps her. “Forever.”

“You bastard,” Crowley snickers in the background. “You’re brilliant.”

When he proceeds to the third portion of the game, he waddles straight into the meticulously-kept garden of the older gentleman reading his newspaper. Honk! “This is the next twenty minutes of your life, sir, dreadfully sorry, but I’m sure you’ll do something in the next fifteen seconds to absolve me of guilt.”

The man does not, truthfully, do anything to make Aziraphale feel less guilty about stealing his slippers, his hat, and the rest of his possessions, although the woman next door with the painting is annoying enough with her constant fence repairs that the angel is able to alleviate some of his guilt by mis-directing his frustration with her to the man. After he accomplishes the ‘do the washing’ task, the two of them watch in amused fascination as the man tries to throw the woman’s bra back over the fence and misses, repeatedly.

“I spent eight pounds on this game,” Crowley observes. His voice is barely-audible at this point, between the laughing and the occasional instructions to the angel. “What a spectacular physics engine.”

“Is that a lot for a game?”

“It is a criminally low amount to charge for this game.” The man again fails at throwing the bra at the fence. “Can you imagine if we walked outside one day and saw our neighbors doing this?” His eyes widen. “What if you could possess a goose and instigate all this in real life?”

“Can demons possess geese?” Aziraphale has moved on, and is dragging the woman’s duck statue away so that he can impersonate it and get dressed up with a ribbon.

“Nah. Geese are already demonic - too much evil for one soul, probably explode. Or become a Mega-Goose and destroy the world.” He looks thoughtful. “I hope demons can’t possess geese.”

“Mm.” The woman fastens the bow on his neck, and Aziraphale beams. Honk! The woman falls down. “Look how dapper he looks with the ribbon!” He flees, through the hole in the fence, and into the next zone. Crowley groans, nearly silently. He checks his watch.

“Angel, you’ve been going for three hours. You want to save this for later?” If Aziraphale hears him, he doesn’t acknowledge it, instead studying the to-do list.

“‘Make the old man fall on his bum’ … Mhmm. Let’s do that one first.”

“Oy.” Crowley slouches forward, his hands folded and resting on Aziraphale’s shoulder. “You’ve been going three hours. You can call it and finish the game next stream, if you want.”

Aziraphale turns to him, brow furrowed, entirely incredulous. “Dear boy, you can’t possibly be serious. This town is absolutely discriminating against fine, upstanding geese -” Crowley lets his forehead fall onto Aziraphale’s shoulder, his own skinny shoulders once again shaking with laughter, “and I will not rest until I’ve put them all into their place.” Honk. “Now go get yourself some more tea, you sound dreadful.”

“Don’t break the computer.”

“I won’t.”

When the demon returns with a fresh mug, the typical honking of the goose has been replaced by a frantic off-key harmonica. “Serves you right for playing such an appalling instrument! Stop chasing me!” Crowley adds a slug of honey to the tea out of the plastic bear-shaped container, and relaxes back into his chair.

“What’re you doing now?”

“I’m going to make this man fall on his bum,” Aziraphale announces. “Hang on, wait for it …” The old man in the game starts to sit on the little stool, and Aziraphale directs the goose to snatch the seat out from under him. “Take that!” The character drops his harmonica too, and the goose snatches it up, waddling away and tooting through the infernal instrument relentlessly. “Mr. Fell strikes again!”

Crowley puts his face in his hand, although he is grinning from ear-to-ear. “You’re a madman. You’ve gone mad with power.”

“Goose power,” Aziraphale agrees. “Nearly god-like.”

Crowley winces. “Careful,” he rasps. “Not that I don’t love the hubris but … you know.”

“Tell me it’s not.” He drops a bucket onto another man’s head, and then cackles as the man falls into a full box of tomatoes. The back of his trousers are splattered with tomato. “He’ll never get that stain out. It’d take a miracle.” Crowley snorts.

The most thrilling part, by far, is probably supposed to be the end of the game. The stealthy lift of the beautiful golden bell, and the sneaking back to the goose’s den where the bell is to be deposited to join its fellows. Crowley imagines that if he were to be the one playing it, he would be sneaking through, crouching all the while, waiting around corners for people to be distracted before slinking by with the bell, careful not to make a sound.

But Crowley is not playing, and never before, he thinks, has the difference between a celestial soldier and an infernal demon of temptation and subtlety been so stark. Aziraphale seizes the bell, honks triumphantly, actually out loud with his mouth yells the word ‘Honk’, and takes off through the town. “The goose is loose, catch me if you can, suckers!” Crowley has just enough time to put his tea down on the plant stand before he is overcome with laughter once again, doubling over and spilling onto the floor. “It’s my bell now!”

He makes it all the way through the pub and into the garden of the poor neighbors before the first bell-theft occurs. The painter catches up to him as he drops the bell to destroy the desk, and Aziraphale squeaks in indignation. “No! No, I worked hard for that!” He tugs the bell back away from the painter, and makes a bid for the desk. She catches up to him.

“No! No, you won’t - just drop it, I’m taking it, you can’t stop me!” She snatches the bell again, and begins to walk away. “You’ll be the first to fall under my vengeance!” The goose waddles to the larger bell in the garden, and a resounding bong distracts the painter from her task. The goose, once again, grabs the bell from her hand and hurries over the desk, across the fence. “Hah! Thwarted!”

“You showed her,” Crowley wheezes from his place on the floor, where he has resolved himself to watching the finale upside-down. “Go, angel, go!”

“You’ll never take me alive!” His eyes widen. “Oh, no the shopkeeper. We’re going to have to get past the shopkeeper. She’s atrocious.”

“Just run?”

“She’s fast. She’s wily.” He frowns. “Oh, this part would be perfect for you, dear boy - I’m sure you’d slip past her without any trouble.”

“Oh, indubitably, but you’re the one playing. Just try sneaking.”

He tries to sneak. Probably. It’s a terrible attempt, and the shopkeeper is alerted to the goose with the golden bell soon enough, giving chase. Aziraphale flees, straight into a dead-end. “No! No, you abominable woman that’s mine, that’s -” Honkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonkhonk. The woman knocks the bell from the goose’s beak. “Assault! Thief! Stop!” Honkhonkhonkhonk. He nips the bell from her hands and runs. “Later loser!”

The groundskeeper, for all the consternation he caused early in the game, does not present much of a problem. Aziraphale darts past him, bell jangling, honking madly, and swims briskly across the pond to his base in the little glade. Proudly, honkhonkhonk, he proceeds to the gulley where a good five-plus bells are already deposited. He drops the bell. Crowley claps.

“Angel! You beat a video game!”

Aziraphale throws his hands up in victory. “I’m the greatest goose in the world!” He turns to Crowley, who also has thrown his hands in the air in celebration, and slaps him with a high-five hard enough to nearly dislocate the demon’s elbow. “The town surely has been taught the error of their ways.”

“Yep, you showed them. You’re a bloody menace.” The game tinkles out another piano riff, and they glance at the screen. “Oh, there’s more.”

“Is there?” But the angel is already studying the task list. “‘Make the boy fall into a puddle’ - oh, I’m certainly doing these.” Crowley has since slithered back up into his chair, and is sipping at his tea, the better to soothe his voice which, after the laughter Aziraphale induced with his bell escape, is essentially completely gone. Aziraphale pats him on the knee. “I’ll play off-stream, though, Cr - AJ. I wouldn’t want to steal your time.”

Crowley shakes his head, and points to the chat stream. Aziraphale looks, and then smiles. ‘No, on stream!’ seems to be the overwhelming sentiment, accompanied by various pictographs and variations on ‘Nooooo more Fell!! More Fell!’ “Oh, you’re all much too kind.” Hearts explode in the chat. “Oh, my.” He turns to Crowley the better to disguise the flush in his cheeks. “I suppose I did alright, then?”

Crowley nods, encouragingly, and then gestures to the computer. “Sign off and end the stream,” he whispers, with a heavy element of hissing. Aziraphale considers that if they hadn’t known each other for so long, he might not have understood him. Crowley waves a hand again, as if shooing Aziraphale toward the computer screen, and he turns back around, suddenly unsure of what to say in the face of the camera.

“Ah. Very well. I suppose that’s all for tonight. I … I’m afraid I don’t remember what you usually say at the end, dear.” He looks to Crowley, who shrugs. “I suppose I could make up my own. Ah …” He thinks about it, and then smiles, peaceful and content. “Thank you for staying, I hope you had a nice time. Be kind to one another.” He turns, nods to Crowley, and the demon nods back, leans forward, and taps the stream off.

“Did I do alright?” Aziraphale asks, as soon as the screen showing the viewers’ perspective goes dark. Behind him, Crowley tosses his sunglasses onto the plant stand next to his mug.

“You were perfect. Wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“No, it was … fun.” He looks toward the computer. “What nights do you usually do this?”

Crowley swallows, the better to make his voice at least somewhat audible. “Well, tomorrow’s one, typically. And I doubt I’ll be up to a full stream even in 24 hours …”

“Perfect. Back to Goose Town, then.”

“Back to Goose Town.” He grabs his mug off the plant stand, takes a slow, meditative drink, and watches Aziraphale for a minute, yellow eyes fixed on blue. “You can really be a bastard sometimes, you know it?”

“Yes, but as a goose I am absolved of my actions by virtue of being a goose. It’s just goose-driven mischief.”

“True.” Crowley sighs, and leans into the angel, eyes closing, at peace. “I still like it.”

“You would.” Aziraphale idly runs his fingers through the demon’s hair, and sighs as well, equally content. “So I’ll play again tomorrow. And then …?”

“Well, if you don’t finish, you can take another day, too.” He shrugs. “You want to do another one?”

Aziraphale considers it. “Are there … games for two people?”

“Oh? Oh, yeah. Loads.” He coughs. “Bunch of ‘em.”

“Without a lot of murder?”

“Yep.” He is quiet for a long time, and Aziraphale thinks he must have fallen asleep like that, slouched up against Aziraphale’s shoulder, mug of tea nestled loosely between his knees. Aziraphale is considering how he will take him to bed; last time he tried to carry him in a bridal carry, and he tripped over the rug in the hall and dropped the demon, who promptly turned into a snake and hid under the couch for twelve hours. He figures he will start with the tea, and inches his hand toward the mug, before it spills. Unexpectedly, Crowley stirs, and takes another gulp of tea. “You think you might like a game about farming?”

“Farming?” He hums thoughtfully. “Maybe. I’m sure if it’s with you, I’ll enjoy it.”

“Maybe we can do that one next, then.” He blinks his eyes open and yawns. “Long as you let me organize the greenhouse. You can have the galaxy sword.”

Aziraphale smiles softly. “Might not be a good idea. I don’t have a great track record with swords.”

“Hm. True.” He shrugs. “Figure it out when we get there, I suppose.”

#good omens #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #in which crowley is a twitch streamer and aziraphale is a good sport #goose omens #mbmbam references #crowley #aziraphale #i wish i didn't enjoy fanfiction so much #untitled goose game

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whenimaunicorn · 5 years

Text

Nothing Good Comes After Midnight

Fandom: Wynonna Earp Characters: Bobo Del Rey, Original Female Character Rating: Explicit, please don’t read if you’re not 18+ Words: 2909

I didn’t have an exit strategy. In fact, as I stared back into his heavy gaze, I realized that I didn’t particularly want one. Wynonna thought that she could just ditch me for an idiot guy tonight… well I found my own idiot. Without breaking eye contact, I lifted the straw in my drink up to my mouth and took a good long sip while starting to ride Bobo’s lap to the beat.

Full Fic:

Fuck Purgatory and their not-having an open container law. I would have left, after realizing my friend had just ditched me to go home with her ex while I was in the bathroom, but I had ordered one more expensive cocktail before I checked my phone and got her drunken message. While I was pissed to be left alone at the bar, there was no way I was leaving without drinking what I’d paid for.

But I could feel the sharks circling in the water behind me. It was late enough in the night that any young woman alone on a barstool was gonna get mobbed. The first two guys buzzed off fairly easily after I straight-up growled at them, and then the front door slammed open.

There was something familiar about the scruffy, biker-looking guys that strutted in. Their eyes raked over the whole place, seeming unimpressed with all of us. I definitely knew the guy that walked in after them. Bobo Del Rey, the most fearsome revenant around. He was basically my friend Wynonna’s arch-enemy. There was no mistaking that thick, mohawk-cut hair, those steely eyes, the hulking presence. Did I say arch-enemy? More like arch-hottie.

And he saw me. His goons had failed to remember me and my associations, but the boss-man didn’t miss anything. He gave me a glare that could have meant any number of things, then walked with his crew over to an empty table at the back.

I thought that sense of ‘blood in the water’ was strong before. The back of my neck practically prickled now, though every time I turned to look over at Bobo, he wasn’t paying any particular attention to me at all. One of his boys had grabbed a bucket of beers and they were all just kind of sitting around. Creepy.

He was throwing me off my carefully composed “back the fuck off before I get stabby-stabby” vibes, too. Some sloppily-dressed man with an unkempt ponytail was sprawled over the barstool next to me, babbling and thinking he was getting somewhere.

“It’s a real anaconda, baby, you gotta come back to my place and see it,” he slurred into my ear. I wasn’t sure if he was talking about his dick or an actual snake; I had definitely not been paying any attention to him.

When he finally began to comprehend my lack of interest, he got mean. “What, you think you can do better than me tonight? You can’t be waiting for someone.”

My eyes slipped over to Bobo’s corner, involuntarily.

“Him?”

Something snapped inside me at his tone. “You know what? Yeah. Him.” I snatched my drink off the counter, still mostly full thanks to everyone’s inability to leave me alone and let me fucking enjoy it, and started stalking right over toward the gang of revenants.

Bobo’s eyes tracked me as I strode across the room. The jukebox was playing a wild woman anthem, the beat bold and infectious, and it put some swing into my hips. I let it. Didn’t I deserve to have some kind of fun tonight? Maybe make a bad decision too?

One of Bobo’s thugs made an aggressive posture at my approach, starting to stand, but the boss stilled him with a hand. They knew I was part of Wynonna’s crew. But as I had hoped, tonight Mr. Del Rey didn’t seem to care. He stared at me from under heavy brows and waved me on to approach him with a sharp flick of his wrist.

There were no seats left empty at his table, so I had to ask. “Can I sit with you?”

Bobo looked me up and down, with a sly little twist to his lip. “Maybe if you sit on my dick,” he growled.

Another bubble of irritated energy popped inside me. I stepped right up to him and swung my leg over his lap before my better self could catch up. And by then, I was committed. Bobo’s notched brows climbed to his hairline as I plopped down straddling his hips. I’d call his fucking bluff. I ground myself against his crotch in tight, exaggerated circles. “Oh yeah? Where is it? Can’t seem to find anything.”

Bobo snarled. His hands came down on both my hips, fingers curling hard. But instead of throwing me off, he took control of my movements and rocked me against him a few times more, slower and more in time to the music. “Keep moving like that, darlin’, and it’ll hit you.”

His pupils dilated as he watched me, as he felt me. His fingers slid slowly along my rocking hips. I tried to play it cool, sipping on my drink and glancing around the room, a little overwhelmed by the sizzle in his gaze. That, and the heat building up between my own legs. I’m not ashamed to say that when my clit rubbed up against some stiff fold in his pants I repeated the angle, working myself up even as I felt something start to poke against my inner thigh.

“Last call!” a gruff voice shouted over the noise of the bar. “Last call for alcohol.”

Bobo’s smile turned conspiratorial, then he looked past me. “How about a round of shots, Lou.” One of the thugs got up and pushed his way up to the suddenly-crowded bar.

“So, Y/N. You’ve certainly got my attention.” He shifted underneath me, and with a quick swipe of his hand the hard line that had been forming along Bobo’s thigh was moved to a more central location. With his grip on my hips he coaxed me to settle back down over it. I was glad I had chosen such thin pants to wear out tonight; I could feel every inch of him against my whole slit now, and goddamn did it feel good. “So, what’s your plan.”

“Hm?” I gave him a questioning look.

“Your little crew is always up to something.” He leaned his forehead in closer to my own, looking hard even though his fingers were playful along the hem of my shirt. “Is this the newest attempt to pump ol’ Bobo for information?”

A grin cracked my face. “Play your cards right, and I’ll be pumping you for something,” I cackled. Just couldn’t resist that opening. The laugh turned to a nervous giggle as Bobo’s face remained stoic. “No,” I amended swiftly, “nothing like that.”

“Good, because I don’t appreciate tricks.”

I leaned in, the spiking sense of danger only adding spice to the erotic charge in this corner of the bar. “I’m just a girl having a bad night, trying to figure out how to make it a little bit better.”

Bobo’s smile was slow and thick. “Mmm,” he purred as he brushed his nose along my cheek, “I can think of a few things that might help with that.”

I tilted my chin and that was all the invitation he needed to press his lips into mine. His beard was softer than I expected, sliding across my cheek before his tongue parted my lips. Bobo tasted like dark chocolate, charcoal, and mistakes that still feel kind of worth it in the morning. One of his hands spread across the back of my neck, holding me close, while the other slipped underneath my shirt. I responded by popping open the button on his jeans.

When the bartender says ‘last call,’ you don’t waste time.

The bottom of my shirt was shoved up over my tits when Lou came back with the shots. Bobo’s fingers were playing with the scalloped lace of my plunge-line bra. I tried to cover back up before turning to accept my shot glass, but Bobo’s hands curled over my own. “Let the boys have a little show,” he rumbled.

My nipples hardened at the dirty glory of the idea. I leaned back from my position on Bobo’s lap, letting my smile hang wide and sloppy as I twisted with my rack hanging out of my shirt and reached out for my drink.

Lou’s eyes were hungry. So were the rest of the boys, grinning like circling sharks as they watched the debauchery playing out in their boss’s lap. It was equal parts hot and frightening.

“Bottoms up,” Bobo said, drawing my attention back to him. The amber liquid flowed easily down my throat; it was shitty whiskey but when you hang out with Wynonna you kind of become a pro at knocking back cheap shots. Bobo’s lips were wet and I leaned in to lick the last of the burning liquor off of them.

The friction between our hips was getting unbearable, and between the gaze of ‘the boys’ and the fresh alcohol tingling through my limbs, I was dying to move. “Let’s go somewhere more private,” I purred into Bobo’s ear, then nipped his earlobe for good measure. We couldn’t do much more than we already had without getting kicked out of the bar, anyway.

“You got it, darlin’,” he drawled, and then seized the bottom of my ass with both hands. I felt his muscles clench gloriously between my thighs and then he was standing, with me still wrapped around his waist and squealing in delight. “Excuse me boys, I’ve gotta step out and take care of something.”

We made it halfway down the alley at the side of the building before Bobo pressed me into the wall and started assaulting my mouth and neck again. I felt the press of his erection under my suspended thighs and this time I regretted the choice of pants, rather than a skirt. How glorious it would have felt if he could just sink in to me right the fuck now.

He pawed at the barrier between us, as much as he could while still holding me up off the ground, and then made a frustrated groan. He put me down and before I could even get my balance, turned me to face the wall. One big hand slid down inside my pants, cupping my ass, fingers questing deeper between my legs. “You want me right now?” he all but snarled.

“Fuuuck,” I hissed as his fingertips pressed between my slick inner labia. He made a wordless noise with a similar tone as he played with the wetness I had ready for him there.

Two fingers found their way deeper, penetrating into needy flesh and making it hard for me to remember language was a thing that I could use to answer his question. I pressed myself over his hand and moaned, my own palms pressed against the cold concrete of the wall just so I could keep my balance. “Yeah.”

Bobo finger-fucked me a little harder, then slowed. “Yeah, what?” He nipped at my ear and I could see the flash of white teeth set in a smirk in the moonlight.

I squirmed over his hand. “Yeah, I want you.”

He loomed over me even more. “Want me to what.” His fingers pistoned and I let myself moan like a whore, egging him on.

“Want you to fuck me, Bobo Del Rey.”

“Good girl.” He wrenched my pants down past my knees, bit the side of my ass hard while he was down there, and got his erection of out of his pants faster than I would have thought possible. The line of his body came to cover mine against the wall, and he nipped the back of my neck like a dominant animal while he lined his hardness up against my cunt.

Bobo was thick enough that he didn’t exactly slide in easy. He kicked my feet apart, as wide as they could go with my pants still around my ankles, and pressed me to bend over until I was presented to him properly. Then he worked himself in, every inch a delicious stretch that overwhelmed the rest of my senses. “Fuck, Bobo!” I squealed.

His big hand clamped over my mouth.

“Don’t call attention,” he growled, and kept his hand there to muffle my screams as he rutted into me faster, more thoroughly. It was all I could do to press my hands into the wall against his pressure and try to keep my cheek from slamming into it as he fucked me within an inch of my life.

He could hear just enough of my whimpering cries under his smothering palm to notice when I was getting close to coming. I needed only a little something more to get there.

He let up the intensity just a fraction, so he could take his hand off my mouth. “Stay quiet now, baby girl,” he said, and reached down to find my clitoris.

It was clumsy, but it was all that I really needed. I swallowed a moan or two as he resumed the punishing pace with his cock, now driving my hips into the counterpressure of his strong fingers on that magic button. My orgasm boiled up fast and hard and I held my breath for the entire duration, not trusting myself not to scream at the joy of it.

I went a little limp when it was over, gulping in air with ragged breaths while Bobo continued to rut into me. The aftershocks were making my whole body sizzle. With a sudden hiss, the villain pulled out and pushed me down to my knees.

I turned willingly enough, sure that I knew what he was after. The discomfort of bare knees on the alley pavement only added a little submissive spice to the experience. Bobo had his cock in hand, pointed right between my eyes, and I knew I only had a moment to make my play.

I figured Bobo was like most guys, eager to blast me in the face like this was a porn video. But slutty as I am, I draw the line at calling a cab at the end of the night with cum still stuck in my hair. Just as he seemed ready to blow, I wrapped my hand around his shaft and made his fat head disappear in my mouth.

Bobo made a noise that was both surprised and pleased, and in just three eager, wholehearted sucks I had him groaning through his teeth as his cock jumped and sprayed against the roof of my mouth. I held him there even when it was done, all the way through his spasming, trembling finish. I always loved this moment, knowing I’d brought a powerful man to ‘the little death,’ and for this instant in time, at least, he was putty in my hands.

When he started to pull himself out of my mouth I pursed my lips, sucking him clean and making sure no stray drops were going to dribble out and mess up my shirt. I was still holding his cum in my mouth, as was my habit, ready to spit it out as soon as the way was clear.

But the demon was paying attention. His palm pressed over my lips, fingers wrapping around my jaw. “You’re going to swallow it,” he ordered. That little spike of humiliation was like icing on the cake of this whole wild evening. I looked Bobo right in the eyes and made a big show of gulping his seed down. His answering smile made it worth it too, that smug, masculine look guys get when they feel like their cum went into places they could be proud of.

Then, in a surprisingly gentlemanly gesture, he helped me to my feet.

I almost regretted putting my pants back on. If we had been in a more comfortable location, that last little exchange would have inspired me to get started on a round two. At least to convince him to eat me out. But looking up at Bobo’s wild and imposing silhouette in this moonlit alley, I didn’t think it was a good time to press my luck.

His hand was kneading the back of my neck softly as I re-dressed beside him. Awareness of my surroundings returning, I felt my guard coming back up. Most likely I was about to regret all of this, no matter how blazing hot the encounter had been; better not to drag it out. I stepped out from under his hand, avoiding his eyes and moving toward the main street.

“Can I call on you some time?” Bobo asked, surprising me again with his softness. But plenty of tough guys got that way, after.

I looked up at him with a cold smirk that would have made Wynonna proud. “Oh no, we are definitely chalking this one up to temporary insanity.”

He stiffened, eyes narrowing. “Back to enemies again, in the morning?”

I nodded. “Couldn’t be any other way.”

He cocked his head to the side, the lines of his mohawk amplifying the wild effect of the gesture. He glanced quickly at the sky. “Got a few hours left before daylight, then. Wanna make the most of it, come back with me to my trailer?”

More Bobo here

Taglist: @allsharingonebreath, @demoncrypt1066, @writingfromasgard, @that-was-not-supposed-to-happen, @peachieowl @savismith @ceridwenofwales @equalstrashflavoredtrash @ivarinleatherpants

#enemies to lovers #bobo del rey #bobo smut #bobo x ofc #bobo imagine

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hmel78 · 4 years

Text

In conversation with Keith Emerson ...

Keith Emerson (02.11.44 – 11.03.16)

The Father of progressive rock; the man responsible for the introduction of the Moog synthesiser to the ears of the unsuspecting music lover in the 1960’s; and without a doubt one of the 20th and 21st Centuries (to date) most prolific and talented composers of modern classical music. In a career spanning 6 decades, which has earned him notability as a pianist and keyboard player, a composer, performer, and conductor of his own music alongside the World’s finest orchestras; as well as achieving super success with “Emerson, Lake, and Palmer” - 2014 has been no less eventful for Keith Emerson! With his 70th Birthday approaching, Helen Robinson caught up with him for a very ‘up-beat’ chat about (amongst other things) the re-releases of his solo records, a brand new album with Greg Lake “Live at Manticore Hall”, his favourite solo works, and his memories of the times spent writing and recording with ‘The Nice’, and ‘ELP’.

HR : This has been a busy year for you so far Keith! KE : Yes! I’ve been up to allsorts! [laughs]

Music wise – what can I tell you? Cherry Red , Esoteric, have re-mastered and re-released 3 of my solo albums – “Changing States”, another which I recorded in the Bahamas called “Honky”, and a compilation of my film scores which consisted of "Nighthawks”, “Best Revenge”, "Inferno”, “La Chiesa (The Church)”, "Murderock”, "Harmagedon” and "Godzilla Final Wars”.

HR : That must have been a difficult selection to make based on the number of scores you’ve written! Do you have a particular favourite genre of film to write a score for?

KE : Favourite genre? Boy, well, I just love film score composition, you know? When I first started I had been touring with ELP for some years, and we’d toured with a full 80 piece orchestra but it was just too expensive – we had to drop the orchestra and continue as a trio, which was very upsetting for me. I was entranced by what an orchestra could actually do, and found that with doing film music I could work under a commission and have the orchestra paid for by the film company!

It’s always a challenge. I think a lot of composers like to write dramatic music. I like writing romantic music as well – I’ve also written for science fiction where you can let your musical imagination go pretty much where you want, but generally you have to cater specifically to the film. First of all I like to get a good idea of who the producer and director is, and who is likely to be cast as playing the lead roles. I like to read the script – which helps prior to meeting up with the director and producer. When I wrote the music to Night Hawks I was sent, by Universal films, news of a new film to be made by Sylvester Stallone, a new guy at the time called Rutger Hauer, and Billy Dee Williams, also Lindsay Wagner. It was basically a terrorist film – not the terrorism that we shockingly see today – but back then it was the beginning of terrorism and was quite mild by today’s standards, however it was still sort of ground breaking as far as writing the score was concerned.

It’s about vision with film score work.

Although really it’s all about vision with anything you’re writing, and I suppose many of the disagreements that ELP had during their time – of course a lot of it came to wonderful fruition – were not seeing eye to eye because we had such different tastes in music. Ubiquitous I would say – we bounded from one thing to another. Just when you thought it was getting serious we’d want to have some fun and do something light hearted but I’ve always maintained that variation is essential.

I think that’s what helped ELP quite a lot – especially live - in any particular set you had the heavy stuff like “Tarkus” and “Pictures At an Exhibition”, for the guys in the audience, and for the females who attended reluctantly - dragged along by their boyfriend or husbands and just sit there - I mean, I didn’t sit, I was standing and leaping around [laughs] but you couldn’t help notice the glum looking females in the audience wondering when all this was going to be over.

I think when ELP were together as a unit, we managed to meet everybody’s needs. Greg came up with some really great ballads which sort of got home to the feminine heart, like “From The Beginning” – the feminine heart goes “aaah aint that nice” [laughs] and then suddenly you get the bombardment of something like “Karn Evil 9” and it’s like “Oh GOD”!!

HR : I’d like to talk more about ELP, of course, however there’s so much more outside of that unit , which you have been involved with, that has had quite an influence on modern music. You’ve got an extraordinary and fairly extensive discography, which we can pick whatever you’d like to talk about, but I’d like to start with ‘The Nice’ - “Ars Longa Vita Brevis” ...

KE : Ah Yes ‘’Art is long, life is short” - Lee Jackson came up with that title - he’d studied a bit of Latin ... [laughs]

Going back to the 1960’s then – I suppose it was ‘66 when ‘The Nice’ formed – originally as a quartet. Drums, bass, Hammond organ or keyboards, and guitar player. After the first album we decided to move on as a trio, although I did try to find another guitar player. I actually auditioned a guy called Steve Howe, who was considering getting together with Jon Anderson, and Chris Squire and forming a band called “Yes”. Steve was much more interested in getting with the “Yes” guys, so meanwhile ‘The Nice’ continued as a trio with Lee Jackson on bass, Brian Davison on Drums, and myself on Hammond and keys. It was during this time that I was introduced to a new invention designed by Dr Robert Moog, which became the moog synthesiser, so I was the first to introduce that into live performance.

With ‘The Nice’ we had come out of an era called the underground / Psychedelia.

I was very friendly with Frank Zappa and the mothers of invention, and they were really far ahead of their time.

Frank approached me one day, because I was composing and playing with the London orchestras even then, and said ‘’Keith - how do you deal with English orchestras? They’re hopeless!”

And I said ‘’Well, they’re very conservative Frank. If you really want to make it with the London Symphony, or the London Philharmonic - if you really want my advice, I think you should try and change some of the lyrics of your songs. If you’re going to get in front of the London Philharmonic and sing stuff like ‘’Why does it hurt when I pee?’’ obviously these guys are not going to take very kindly to it!” [laughs]

I’d actually done Bachs Brandenburg concerto #3 with a chamber orchestra and had a degree of success in the English charts- around about the same time , Jon Lord [Deep Purple, Whitesnake] was writing his concerto for orchestra too. I’d already written the “5 bridges suite” which I had recorded with ‘The Nice’ at Fairfield hall in London. So basically Jon Lord and I were kind of both struggling with Orchestras and moving along into what came next musically for the both of us – Jon was a very good friend.

I think round about the turn of 1970, I had noticed what Steve Howe was doing and it was very harmonic, whereas ‘The Nice’ - well we were a bit more bizarre, and I listen back to it now and I suppose I have a slight bit of embarrassment about how ‘The Nice’ were presenting themselves.

And back then I’d started looking at bands like ‘Yes’, and there were a lot of other bands too, who were really concentrating on the tunes and the vocal element, so that’s when and why I formed ‘Emerson Lake and Palmer’ - in 1970 - and endorsed the whole sound with the moog synthesiser. It sort of took off, and became known as what we know today as “Prog Rock”. We didn’t have a name for it at that time, we just thought it was contemporary rock. I mean it wasn’t the blues, it wasn’t jazz, but it was a mixture of all of these things, and that’s when we went through.

The first album of ELP, [Emerson, Lake, & Palmer] recorded in 1970; we were still learning how to write together as a unit, so consequently when you listen to it, you’ll hear a lot of instrumentals; mainly because there were no lyrics and there was a pressure on the band to get an album out. For some reason there was an extreme interest in the band - We were to be considered as the next super group after ‘Crosby Stills & Nash’, which we certainly didn’t like the idea of. That album went very well. Unfortunately the record company decided to release “Lucky Man” - which was a last minute thought – as a single, and it took off. My concern was the fact that, OK yeah the ending has the big moog sweeps and everything like that going on – but how on earth do we do all the vocals live? Thousands of vocal overdubs over the top and neither Carl nor I sang. You know - I sing so bad that a lot of people refuse to even read my lips! And as far as Carl Palmer was concerned he had “Athletes Voice” and people just ran away when he sang! It was a hopeless task of actually being able to recreate “Lucky Man” on stage, so eventually Greg just did it as an acoustic guitar solo. It was that one sort of Oasis, in a storm of very macho guy stuff, where the women just went [in a girly voice] “Oh I like that, that’s nice”. [laughs]

So, inspired by that we got more grandiose and put out ‘’Pictures At An Exhibition” – another bombastic piece based upon Mussorgsky’s epic work. For some reason Greg wanted it released at a reduced price because he said it wasn’t the right direction for ELP to go. So we released it for about £1 and it went straight to number 1! Then the record company called up and said ‘’what are you doing? This is a hit record and you’re just selling it for £1??!!’’, so I said ‘’well yeah it’s a bit stupid isn’t it?” – so when it was released in America it was at its full price and ended up nominated for a Grammy award! ELP had a lot to do to create the piece you know? We disagreed on lots of issues but in order to keep the ball rolling we just moved on with the next one, which was in fact “Trilogy”.

I thought it was about this time in ELPs life that we had learned how to tolerate each other, how to write together, and how to be very constructive. “Trilogy” is a complete mish-mash, you go from one thing to another; there’s a Bolero, and then ‘Sherriff’ – which is kind of western bar jangly piano playing on it. I don’t think you could find such a complete diversity buying a record like that these days. We were very much inspired by our audience accepting that.

Actually Sony Records are going to re release it in 5.1 – they’re doing a wonderful package with out-takes and everything – I’ve just competed doing the liner notes.

We moved on again then, and started the makings of “Brain Salad Surgery” which was a step further.

After that I worked on my piano concerto played by the London Philharmonic Orchestra, and actually it’s still being performed all over the world - Australia, Poland, and in October I’m going to East Coast America to do some conducting – Jeffrey Beagle, who’s a great classical pianist, is going to perform it then, and I’m going to perform some other new works of mine.

HR : Are you likely to release a recording of it?

KE : Yes I guess it might be ... I’ll let you know. It’s a dauntless compelling challenge. I have conducted and played with orchestras before and I’m very thankful to have classical guys around me who are able to point me in the right direction. I was never classically trained. I started off playing by ear and then having private piano lessons, and then basically teaching myself how to orchestrate. I’m still taking lessons in conducting and I don’t think I’ll ever get to the standard of the greats like Dudamel or Bernstein – I don’t think I’ll ever be able to conduct Wagner, but so long as I’ve written the piece of music I think I’ve got an idea of roughly how it goes! [laughs] Thankfully I’ve worked with Orchestras who are very kind to me.

HR : Do you enjoy the performance as much as the writing?

KE : Actually I enjoy the writing more than the performance. I know I wrote an Autobiography called ‘’Pictures Of An Exhibitionist” but that’s the last thing that I am really. I’m pretty much a recluse. I’ve got my Norton 850 and I’m happy ...

HR : I was going to ask you about the Theatrics on stage – Why Knives and swords? Was there something which influenced the decision to include that as a part of your performance, or was it purely born out of frustration from working with Carl and Greg?

KE : [laughs] Well you see in the 60s, I toured with bands like The Who, and I watched Pete Townshend; I toured with Jimi Hendrix too, and I thought that if the piano is going to take off then the best thing to do is like really learn to become a great piano or and keyboard player, but I also thought “that aint gonna last with a Rock audience in a Rock situation”, mainly because the piano or Hammond organ - well from the audience you look up on stage and it’s just a piece of furniture! Whereas the guitar player can come on stage and he’s got this thing strapped around his neck, he can wander up and down the sage, check out the chicks, and he’s the guy that has all the fun. The organ player meanwhile is just seated there at a piece of furniture like he’s sat at a table. So a lot of what I did was for the excitement of it, and I suppose to exemplify the fact that I could play it back to front. A lot of my comic heroes like Victor Borg, Dudley Moore – they all came into the whole issue too.

I’ll tell you this ok? I once went to see a band at the Marquee club when it was in Wardour Street in London, and I can’t remember this guys name now, but he played Hammond organ - he was a very narky looking fellow, and went on stage wearing a schoolboys outfit which caused a lot of the girls in the audience to chuckle. I stood at the back of the Marquee club and watched his performance - a lot of the stops and things were falling off his organ, so he had a screwdriver to keep holding certain keys down, and then suddenly the back of his Hammond fell off – and I don’t think it was intentional, because he looked really quite distraught, but he caused so much laughter from the audience. I went away thinking “there is something there, I’m going to use that” ... I actually thought it would be a great idea to stick a knife into the organ, rather than a screw driver -the reason for this was to hold down a 4th and a 5th , or maybe any 5th, or say a ‘C’ and an ‘F’ or a ‘G’, whatever, and then be able to go off stage, take the power off the Hammond, so that it would just die away - it would go ‘’whoooaaaaaaaoooooh’’; and then I’d plug it back in and it would power back up and create like the noise of an air-raid siren, and of course the drummer and bass player would react to that. It got really interesting. We actually had a road manager at the time by the name of ‘’Lemmy’’ who went on to be with Motorhead. He gave me 2 Hitler Youth Daggers and said [best Lemmy impression] “here! If you’re going to use a knife, use a real one!”

So that was the start of all that, and people loved it, and actually Hendrix loved it too – somewhere in his archive collection there must be some footage of me almost throwing a knife at him [laughs] .

The phase for it was my objection to the 3 assassinations they had in the USA - JFK, Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King - I’d been to America once and seen how quick the Police were to pull out their guns to a woman parking her car illegally – so bizarre. The 2nd amendment will not go away, as much as they want it to. I’ll reserve further comments on that but that was really the whole objective. I was banned from the Albert Hall for burning a painting of the Stars and Stripes, which took some time to get over, but everything worked and they allowed me live in California now. [laughs]

HR : What about the Manticore Hall show, also released this year, presumably you kept burning paintings off the agenda there? Was it good to work with Greg again? and then the complete ELP line up with Carl at High Voltage?

KE : No! [laughs], and Yes ... Actually that was recorded in 2010 and was an idea set up by a manager associate of mine, and an agent in California. I met up with them and they asked how I felt about doing a Duo tour to lead up to the High Voltage Festival in London. They convinced me that it was a big festival ... and the idea was to have ELP on the Sunday night there. So the lead up was a duo tour with myself and Greg because Carl was off with Asia at the time. It had its ups and downs, but it did eventually work very well and it was a very good warm up to doing that Festival date as the 3 of us. I don’t think there was any intention of us going any further with it. I think the resulting “ELP at High Voltage” was good and also I think the album ‘’Live At Manticore Hall’’ - although it wasn’t released until this year, because Greg initially didn’t want it to be released at all - is good stuff too. These things happen with bands, it takes a while for us to appreciate how good what we do is, sometimes.

HR : You’d had quite a break from ELP at that point, KE : [interrupts] I wouldn’t say that I ever take a break, if I can put it so lightly, and it’s not lightly, as to say that it’s kind of like a hobby – if I feel so inclined I will go to the piano and will write a piece of music. If that piece of music seems to warrant being augmented by anyone then I find the right people to do it. I had a great experience last year of going to Japan and hearing the Tokyo Philharmonic play the whole of “Tarkus” – a 90 piece orchestra – I’ve never been so blown away. I worked with a Japanese arranger on the orchestration, and actually used it on an album which I recorded with Marc Bonilla, and Terje Mikkelsen called “Three Fates Project”, which actually didn’t make it anywhere and I don’t know why. It’s a great album, very orchestral – I did the version of “Tarkus” on that complete with the Munich symphony orchestra. I changed it around slightly – I had Irish fiddle players coming in – I suppose, really you could refer to it as being World Music – it’s probably a great example of that. It’s not based upon the ELP solo piano composition that we did on ELPs first album. I don’t think the record companies knew how to market it you know? Was it classical? was it rock? It has the complete amalgamation of group and orchestra. Wonderfully recorded. It really is quite mind blowing. Not that I want to blow my own trumpet! Maybe if the art work had been a little more dynamic then it would have caught people’s attention. I agreed on it, but you see our names and they’re really small - I don’t think people realised who’s album it was.

HR : Have you any plans to perform it in the UK, or other parts of Europe? Scandanavia, for Blackmoon fans? Any tour plans at all?

KE : The thing is, first of all, that the direction that I am going at the moment is very orchestral. And that does take an awful lot of planning. As I say I’m going to play with the South Shore Symphony on the East Coast of America, but touring with an orchestra, as I learnt back in the late 70s with ELP, is very expensive. It doesn’t make any money if I’m perfectly honest. If someone was to come up with the cost of shipping the instruments about then ... but it’s not like dishing out the orchestral charts to an orchestra and then have The Moody Blues come on and play, and the strings do all the backing stuff, you know! This music is the music which I’ve written and really demands quite a lot of practicing.

For instance when I was recording “Three Fates” with the Munich Symphony, in Munich, I was interviewed during the break after the first day by a radio station, and they asked ‘’how do you think its going?’’ and I said “well if the orchestra are still here with me in 5 days time, I should be very surprised” [laughs] . I remember on about the 4th day , one of the members of the orchestra had obviously heard the radio broadcast. As and I walked out into the garden at break time, I passed one of the Trombonists who was smoking a cigarette and he said ‘’well we’re still here”...

There is an awful lot that can go wrong, of course, especially with orchestras. The copyist can sometimes write a b natural rather than a b flat, or they can get a whole load of other things wrong – and that’s what happened this particular recording.

Marc Bonilla actually came up to me on a break and said “I think you should go up to the control room, and look at the score mate, something doesn’t sound right”, so you can imagine the look on my face! So off I go I’m up in the control room; radio through to the rehearsal room and start going through the score and sure enough it was wrong. I don’t know why I hadn’t heard that before, but it was down to the copyists – its the same with writing a book and you give it away to the editor – they can still mess it up – as copyists do with music. And sometimes you’ll get the orchestra, and they’ll just play what’s written rather than put their hands up and say “that doesn’t sound right”, for fear of retribution I suppose – so it is frustrating, but it’s very rewarding.

The Mourning Sun, taken from “Three Fates”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PcOI8nDDeU

It’s been quite funny with some of these albums that Cherry Red are rereleasing. I happened to give one to my eldest son. I gave him ‘’Honky’’ and he came up to me and he said ‘’here Dad I’ve been listening to the Honky album and it’s really really good!’’ He and his friends are in their 40s now and they’ve all complimented me on it, so that’s the biggest compliment I could have really.

I was recording that album when he was about 4 years old. [laughs]

HR : Is that your favourite then? Honky?

KE : Oh yeah – I had so much fun making that album and I think it shows in it’s humour. It was great. The objective behind it was that I wanted to record with all the local bohemian people - I was living at the time in Nassau in the Bahamas. I didn’t really experience a lot of problems with the black bohemians – I got on great with them all. There were some great musicians, and I wanted to do a very ethnic album to bring to the attention of the world that we can all get on! I used to drive around Nassau in a limited edition Jeep and kids would run out and yell at me ‘’Honky!’’ and I’d wave thinking ‘that’s kind of fun’. Then, when I worked in the studio I noticed that the black musicians would all greet themselves with the ‘’N’’ word – we can’t say that now - says in an accent “Yo N ...” – so I thought ‘well if they can do that I am going to call myself a Honky!’ And they were horrified!! [laughs] So I bluntly spoke to them and I said “listen you guys call yourselves ‘’Ns’’ so I’m calling myself a Honky, and damn it I’m going to call the album that too!” [laughs]. It was a lot of fun.

*** Honky - a derogatory term for a Caucasian person.

HR : We must get something down about Blackmoon – given that this is the title of the Magazine!

KE : [laughs] ELP, Blackmoon. *sighs* Well ... I remember from this time that Carl Palmer and myself wanted to have a different producer.

It was all well and good that Greg produced all the other albums but – I don’t think it’s a very good idea for any band ; if they’re involved in the writing and the playing, and then one band member decides he’s going to be a producer too. You need someone objective to come in and say that they think it’s too long, or whatever ... whereas if you have a part in writing and playing, its obvious that you’re going to pay more attention to it, and Carl and myself really wanted an objective opinion about how to make it work. The producers that we auditioned were very familiar with ELPs work and were really considerate in how they constructed it. The main consideration - and I think really it was a difficult time because Greg could see that his role as being a former producer of ELP was going to be taken away from him. Whereas for me I felt that Greg’s attention should be more on the writing and the lyrics and other aspects. There is so much that one had to pay attention to when running a band. There are the legal, accounting, and everything else – and above all you have the creative aspect and you really cannot go into a studio and become the producer and wear all these different hats. It doesn’t work, I don’t allow that even on my own music writing. I’m quite happy to go in and play my music as long as I trust that the guy behind the music desk, and the mixing desk, are on the same page, know who I am, and what I’ve done before – so at least there is a rapport where the engineer can see what you are trying to do and he will say – “ah you know what, why don’t we try and go for that you did on Trilogy - lets try it!” You have to work with people who understand you and then you can just sit back and work on it , accept a good idea, be pushed to your limits. The thing is with Greg - he felt that he had been removed from the situation which he had most power and pride in. Whereas I think most pride he should keep as the fact that he s a damn good singer and has written some great music. If you want a great team you have to designate to the right person.

That’s why I had Lemmy as my roadie. If I hadn’t had Lemmy the knives wouldn’t have come out [laughs]. We owe Lemmy a lot! HR : Absolutely. You two should record a duet! Which Instrument would you choose? Moog, Melotron, Hammond?

KE : Hmmmmmmmm. Piano. I’ve always written on the piano. I do have a mandolin hanging on the wall here, which is out of tune at the moment. You wouldn’t want to hear me play this mandolin ...

HR : Because it’s out of tune, or just in general?

KE : [laughs] because it’s out of tune but even if it was in tune I don’t know if it would work. It looks great hanging on the wall though ...

[Keith and I were great pals - I miss him <3]

#keith emerson #lemmy #elp #prog #prog rock

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metalchickaf19 · 5 years

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The Bowers Gang: Ship #14 - Victor Criss

Request: Hiya,this isn't an old ship request. Take your time. I'm the keep-your-head-down,work-hard,mind-your-business sort of Hufflepuff. Loyal AF. I look dead inside,but I cry about fictional shit [movies, books, soundtracks that one time] really easily. I've got a really deadpan/sarcastic sense of humour&no idea what to do with affection/earnestness when confronted with it. Not shy,just hate people.Love my cat, tho.Long-held belief that i'm dumb [despite decent grades in all but math]. I'm outwardly polite&raging inside. Fiction is an escapism coping mechanism. I'm always the DD in my friend group[which is small[don't need many friends, just good ones]. I write fiction! Original fiction&fan-focusing on mysteries &sci-fi/fantasy/YA. Had a couple of short stories published,too. Love reading -mysteries/YA/old-school pulp detective stories. Love horror movies but can't stand torture-porn. 5'6;short brown undercut;green eyes;glasses;baggy sweaters/big flannels/jeans/boots

Fact: You’re one of the best matches for Victor Criss I’ve yet come across, and it’s great

None of the rest of the guys like you very much (primarily because you’re a high-key intellectual and they have no way of keeping up), but fuck ‘em - that’s part of what makes you so right for Criss

Henry in particular doesn’t like it when you hang out around the gang, because he thinks your haircut makes you look like a lesbian

... And he’s not attracted to you, so there’s nothing hot about it

Basically just feels like he and the guys are waving a huge rainbow flag every time they’re spotted with you, and it gets his homophobia all up in a tizzy

I’m sorry, he’s an idiot - keep rocking that badass undercut, queen

You and Victor motivate each other in school because you both have aspirations to leave Derry someday

You actually have plans to move out of state and get an apartment together after graduation, but none of the other guys know this (don’t. tell. Bowers.)

Often tells you how smart, cute, funny (etc.) you are, because he knows you don’t think much of yourself, and the guy legit thrives on terminating girls’ negative self-images

Meaning the fact that you don’t know what to do with earnestness is fine - Criss will bombard you with it until you learn

Trades movies, books, and music with you all the time

Has never had someone to share his more “high-minded” (*cough* intelligent *cough*) interests with, so you get buried in film and literature suggestions for the whole first month of your relationship

In general though, you guys have very similar tastes, so you tend to join each other’s fandoms without a problem (aka: sleepover conversation is lit every time because common interests)

* Weird, somewhat upsetting side-note *

Patrick likes you most when it comes to the other guys - no contest

Partly because he vibes with your “dead inside” sense of humor...

... but mostly because he just wants to hit it (surprise, surprise)

Unlike Henry, finds your unconventional hairstyle super attractive, and wants to fuck you 10x more on top of that just because your Victor’s girlfriend

... They have a complicated relationship, let’s leave it that (Victor hates Patrick, Patrick thrives off of Victor’s hatred - the end)

But yeah, comes on to you basically every time you hang out with the gang, and is so bold about it that he actually got caught in the act once (Hockstetter is much louder about being Mr. Steal Yo’ Girl when he’s stealing from Criss)

Almost led to a physical fight between he and Victor, which was only avoided because Belch literally got between them

No joke - Belch had to fend off a livid Criss for over 15 minutes while he tried to force his way through to Patrick, who was laughing like a five-year-old in the background

So random Hockstetter gropes/propositions don’t happen as often now, but still go down on a fairly regular basis

... I’m sorry

* Weird, somewhat upsetting side-note over *

Victor once stopped Patrick and Henry from killing your cat

...Yeah, you read that right - legitimately stopped them from killing your household pet

Patrick stole it (of course) and brought it to Henry’s place, where Henry planned on taping a cherry bomb to its back “just to see what’d happen” - he would later say he didn’t know it was your cat (but he knew it was your fucking cat)

It was the first time Victor ever straight-up “noped” something Henry wanted to do, and outright stopped it from happening

Literally just walked up on the situation, went and picked up your cat without saying a word, and started working the tape off of it as he walked away

And Bowers didn’t say one damn word to stop him, because Criss had a serious “this isn’t an argument” vibe going on

Long story short, it was the sexiest moment of his life, and it was done entirely out of love for you - have fun with that

Victor helps tutor you in math (it’s his best subject outside of English)

Also loves the fact that you write

Loves it

And actually... all the other guys do too

Shocking, I know

Since Victor introduced the concept that fictional characters can be based on people in an author’s real life, all the guys look for traces of their own personalities in your characters

... And Hockstetter now insists that almost every character you write, whether new or old, is him - even ones you made up long before you met the gang (”Aw, just come right out and say it, sweetheart - I was always your leading man.” *Gut-wrenching Hockstetter grin*)

But all the guys love looking for themselves in your work, so Victor usually steals your final drafts/finished stories and reads them to the gang without you knowing

It’s honestly kind of the most adorable thing ever - Victor is happy because he gets to show off your writing skill, and the guys are happy because story time

I literally never thought I’d type that, ever

Overall, a great relationship that would probably bring about some intense personal changes on Victor’s part

When it comes down to you and the guys, he chooses you every time, and their bullshit behavior towards you would likely lead to his abandoning the gang somewhere down the line

You have a man that will change for you, girl; cherish him

#henry bowers #patrick hockstetter #belch huggins #victor criss #the bowers gang #the bowers gang headcanons #it

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johannesviii · 5 years

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2001

Another list which was a bit difficult to make. Almost none of this comes from the US charts. I was 13, I had a much better control of what I could listen to, and adolescence crisis was juuuuuuust around the corner and about to smash into me with the force of a semitruck.

For now, though, things were mostly fine.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

First, please enjoy this shit ton of honorable mentions.

Family Affair (Mary J. Blige) - A bit too repetitive for my taste but damn, that beat is great.

Starlight (The Supermen Lovers) - Overplayed to death, sadly.

A ma Place (Axel Bauer & Zazie) - Too much Hetero Drama(tm) for my taste. Still a great song.

Les Mots (Mylène Farmer & Seal) - An artist I love teams up with another artist I really like and... aaaaand it’s fairly boring even if it sounds really nice. Aw.

Me Gustas Tu (Manu Chao) - My dad had one (1) tape that summer and it was Manu Chao. Needless to say, I claim overplay for that cut.

The Girl in Red (Daddy DJ) - Yepppp, I also loved that one, no surprises there.

It Wasn’t Me (Shaggy) - To be honest this song would already be pretty great if it was just a guy trying to pretend it wasn’t him cheating even if his girlfriend got everything on camera, but it’s made even better by the ending where he’s like ‘uh no that’s not a good idea I’m just gonna apologise and try to make things right’. Love that.

Carillon (Magic Box) - This was the last cut from the list. The fact that this kind of novelty eurodance track could still chart this high in 2001 is absolutely baffling to me, but I’m not gonna complain. I had completely forgotten the existence of this song until I listened to the year-end lists and had some sort of flashback, sitting in my chair, going “oh shit, yeah... this was a thing.”

10 - Music is the One-T ODC (One-T)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

Time seems to have buried this, which is a shame. I really liked One-T. I don’t have much more to say about it though, I’m afraid.

9 - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger (Daft Punk)

US: Not on the list / FR: #75

Aaaaaaand I don’t have anything to say about this one either. You can’t go wrong with Daft Punk.

8 - No Nagging (Froggy Mix)

US: Not on the list / FR: #31

I simply adore the fact that an anime opening was popular to the point of ACTUALLY CHARTING AND MAKING THE YEAR END LIST HERE. It’s not even the same opening in most other countries. I just checked to make sure. It’s not even the original either! What the hell. I love it. Here’s the full version.

Also, the first cd I ever bought might have been Daddy DJ, but the first one my little brother ever bought was Froggy Mix. If you ever read this, you’re 100% valid bro. I’m just saying.

7 - Rue de la Paix (Zazie)

US: Not on the list / FR: #58

This was very overplayed but somehow never outstayed its welcome. I put it on a couple of tapes, even. I’ve always had trouble with Zazie’s upper range, but she isn’t using it too much here.

6 - Clint Eastwood (Gorillaz)

US: Not on the list?? I was dead certain it would be / FR: #47

I never loved Gorillaz. You can throw rocks at me now. I enjoyed the music videos a LOT, and I always liked hearing the songs on the radio, but I never actively listened to them. Also, the Metallica fan I live with is also a fan of Gorillaz, so yeah, over-exposure and all that.

That being said, I remember seeing this music video for the first time with the sound off on a screen in a tv store and being completely mesmerized by the animation. And then that song became a huge hit, and it was one of THE sounds of that summer despite being weird and dark, and I loved it. Good memories, good times ; godspeed, Gorillaz.

5 - Butterfly (Crazy Town)

US: #29 / FR: Not on the list

This is, indeed, placed above Gorillaz. Too bad you’re out of rocks to throw at my face by now, uh?

But yeah, there’s “so bad it’s good” and then there’s “so bad it’s f█cking fantastic” and that shit lands squarely in that second category. It’s impossible to keep a straight face while listening to it, especially if you sing along to the “sugar baby” bit. And the music video is... sdfghjkjhgfd. The bit where the star tattoos fly off that guy like shurikens is hilarious. It’s so dumb. It’s so bad. I love it so much. I’m so glad I found a gif of that part. Amazing.

4 - Hasta La Vista (MC Solaar)

US: Not on the list / FR: #8

MC Solaar was (and still is, but this was his peak imho) the best storyteller in French hip hop, with strange concept-songs, and a ton of weird puns.

This is basically a mashup of Notre Dame de Paris and a western, in which the singer is starring in the main role but as a pizza delivery man.

Not making this up.

3 - Le Vent Nous Portera (Noir Désir)

US: Not on the list / FR: #29

I really, really hesitated before putting that song on the list, especially at such a high spot. I guess every French speaker reading this already knows why, but to clarify to my other followers: the guy who wrote this and sings this is a murderer. He wasn’t at the time this song came out, obviously, but still, it’s really, really difficult to separate the art from the artist in some cases, and this is one of them, because oh boy, this song is dark. Beautiful, but dark.

The problem is, it’s also great, so I’m really torn. So I decided to still put it on the list, considering how much I loved it back in the day. I think it’s still possible to appreciate beautiful things made by horrible people as long as you acknowledge that fact and never, ever try to excuse the things they did.

Also that lovely guitar is played by Manu Chao and I’m glad he found a way to land on my list in the end.

2 - L’Histoire d’une Fée, C’est (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #92

Madam, I don’t even care that I put you so high on one of my lists again. It doesn’t matter. Please sing a harmless song about fairies to wash the bad taste that the previous entry left in my mouth. This sounds absolutely stellar. It doesn’t even have a music video and it charted anyway. The guy composing the music is at the top of his game and is firing on all cylinders. It’s one of my all time favorite songs from Mylène Farmer even if it’s one of the stupidest ones. It’s colorful and it glows and sparkles, and it’s full of energy and joy with an undercurrent of mystery.

If you don’t know it yet, please give it a try. It’s great.

1 - Solaar Pleure (MC Solaar)

US: Not on the list / FR: #20

Oh boy. My mother hated this song, and once told me it was “shocking and disturbing” [sic] that I loved it.

So. Uh. This is “Solaar Is Crying”. How do I explain this shit to my English followers without sounding like a drunk weirdo rambling in a park. Uh. Here goes nothing.

This is a French hip hop song in which the singer is telling the story of a man preparing his own funeral, dying, arriving in the afterlife, ending up in paradise, forgiving the people who wronged him in life and death, becoming an exterminator angel, going to hell on a MISSION TO FIGHT EVIL, LITERALLY SPITTING ON BELZEBUTH, GATHERING HELP FROM EVERY RELIGION POSSIBLE, UNITING THEM ALL TO DESTROY SATAN ONCE AND FOR ALL, EXPLODING HIM INTO ANTIMATTER, THEN REALISING ALL OF THIS WAS IN VAIN BECAUSE THERE’S STILL BAD PEOPLE DOING BAD THINGS ON EARTH AND THE DEVIL HIMSELF WASN’T THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL IN THE WORLD.

I swear I am not making ANY of this up.

It’s f█cking amazing.

I BEG you to listen to it if you’ve never heard it and PLEASE tell me your opinion afterwards. I would make a best-of of my favorite lines in it, but it would be 90% of the entire song. Here’s a translation of the entire thing.

Next up: Johannes turns 14 and the shit is about to hit the fan and also is that a f█cking top 15

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #death mention #eye contact tw #caps lock

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miyoron · 5 years

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Miyo’s Anime of the Decade though Actually Just 2019

***Before I start this list, I would like to continue to send out good vibes and hope to all those affected by the Kyoto Animation arson attacks this past summer. It still hurts and I hope things can get better for everyone affected by it, even though I'm sure some things will take a long time to heal, if they ever will. Just know that you will always have me wishing you the best I can and sending out hope for you to recover at your own pace.***

I like writing these things every year. Whether it lets me know if my tastes are changing or staying the same, or if I'm just sentimental, writing about things I like is fun. Anime is good and I like watching it. I watched a good amount of stuff this year even if some seasons I couldn't find anything I say would fit this list.

For example, I started watching the Symphogear series and it's fun but I wouldn't say I liked it as much as any of these shows. Anima Yell is a very cute show but I didn’t have much to say about it, same for Aggretsuko again. I liked the main characters of JoJo part 5, but I wouldn't say I liked watching that, especially as the villain was revealed more and more. Fire Force was fun for me for like 5 episodes or so but then I bailed so take that as you will.

But I don't want to sound too mean here. No, this is for stuff I liked a lot and I wanted to write about things I enjoyed. This year I actually kept track of shows I liked as opposed to figuring out what I'd go on this list at the last moment. Crazy, I know, but this could be a good idea. Don't worry, I didn't take TOO many notes so this will be pretty off the cuff of my head like normal though I'm sure. As always, I will be using whatever title is easier for me to write/preference.

With this bit of text out of the way, let's la GO! In no particular order (as always)...

Mob Psycho 100

This entry counts for both season 1 and season 2. I kind of sped through the first one a little so I could catch up in time for the second one. I feel it stuck with me just as much though. Mob Psycho is a solid action series with very silly things going on in the background of it...and foreground honestly). I suspect ONE is very good at making this sort of series. Honestly though, every character in this show is great and there's so many feel good moments. Mob himself is a wonderful character. The most powerful psychic force in the universe but he just wants to get buff to go out with his crush.

There's a lot to like about this series. The humor is on point and anything with Reigen is going to be hilarious, especially if it takes a while. Animation is consistently top notch, especially in season 2, and I love the psychic effects. They end up looking like an old 90's video filter or trapper keeper or something. However, the most impressive thing this series does is show that maybe fighting isn't the way to do things all the time and that the most important thing you can show isn't just sympathy, but empathy.

Mob is a really good show and both of the OVAs are fun as heck. I dunno why I originally slept on Season 1, but I'm glad I came aboard.

Kaguyasama: Love is War

You probably know this one from that one ending with the pink haired girl dancing, that was going around for a while even though it was only for one episode. This series actually took me a little bit to get into mainly due to being WAY too tired to keep up with it. The set up being that the smartest boy and girl in the most elite high school both want to ask the other out. However, being the one to ask the other out would be to give up all power and admitting defeat. Basically it's a battle of two love struck idiots trying to get the other to ask them out.

As dumb as that sounds, the setups are often hilarious. Seeing the main characters trying to out scheme each other and keep a straight face while watching is a challenge in itself. It's like that 4th dimensional chess but the end result is seeing who will hold the other's hand first. Then throw in the wild card of Chika who seems to both not know what's going on while understanding how easy it is to end up on top in these battles and...look it's very funny ok? Even if sometimes the joke is just "weiner".

Shows that made me tear up count: 1

Kemurikusa

Similar to the Kemono Friends and its big gold star award, I felt like Kemurikusa deserved a shoutout this year. It's still janky like Kemono Friends before it, but after everything that went down with that series, it was definitely telling when this was the better of the two. This is a weird series and only some of that is due to the animation. The studio does a wonderful job of making a world that's both interesting and haunting at the same time. Everything that happens all ties to a big mystery that isn't revealed for quite a while.

The characters are fun enough. From the serious Rin to the caring Ritsu. From the voracious Rinas to the dweeby Wakaba. It's a fun cast going on a road trip throughout the apocalypse as they try to find good water for their big plant friend that drives around their husk of a bus. It can get pretty dark at times even with the neon bright colors the titular kemurikusa shimmering softly in the background. Oh also there's a roomba friend and a girl with sharp teeth so I mean, it's got something for everybody.

Hitoribocchi

This series is a cute little show with a setup which is potentially mean if you think about it. Bocchi's best friend is afraid she won't ever be able to make any other friends since they're going to different middle schools. Because of this, she says they can't be friends again until she befriends everyone in her class. The biggest hurdle to this challenge being Bocchi is horribly shy and socially awkward which just makes things seemingly impossible for her to overcome. Luckily, this is a cute comedy series.

The show is basically about Bocchi trying to make new friends so she can hopefully one day reunite with her bestie from the past. As I said before though, she's kind of bad with knowing how to communicate with people so she has a bad habit of say following friend making tips she read in books or online to a t and not deviating from them. Thankfully she is able to meet with lovable weirdos like blunt Nako, pitiful Aru and ninja girl Sotoka. It's a cute little series that also has a lot of heart, especially if you've ever had to overcome your own social anxieties to interact with others before. It's also funny too so there's a bonus even.

Shows that made me tear up count: 2

Carole and Tuesday

Shhhh. Don't let Netflix know I finished this before they did. Carole and Tuesday is a fun show from the creator of Cowboy Bebop, as evidenced in the fact it takes place on Mars and uses the same currency. It's a fairly simple plot, two girls meet up one day on the streets and start playing music together. One's an orphan who's basically lived alone for most of her life, the other is a rich girl running away from her politician mother (whose politics are a little too close for comfort these days). They just wanna make music man, and with a former big time agent with them, how can they lose!

Carole and Tuesday are fun characters and the show has a fun future sci fi vibe while still being grounded in reality. One of the biggest highlights is definitely the music though with lots of new songs in every episode and a good number of them being certifiable bangers. There's an overarching plot that also hits too close to home at times but the big finale at the end made it all worth it in the end really. This is an easy show to recommend and I am doing so to you right now. Go see these girls trying to make it to the big time!

Shows that made me tear up count: 3

Fruits Basket (2019)

I skipped out on Fruits Basket the first time around. I always told myself I'd go back and check it out but, knowing how I do things, this never actually happened. Part of me is kind of glad I waited to check it out though since I really like the style of the new show compared to the one from the early 00s. What I'm saying is I should have checked this out a lot earlier than I did but I don't feel visually bad for doing so.

Fruits Basket is a show featuring Tohru, the most helpful lovable girl, and a cast of characters who all start to love her because she is the most helpful lovable girl. This might sound like a bad thing but it's not. All of the characters are really fun, save one who I don't know WHY they don't just beat up, and I love seeing all their interactions. I just grew really invested in all of them and keep hoping everything will end up ok for them in the end, while in some cases waiting for a really big shoe to drop and biting my nails in the process.

I dunno if I have a super bunch to say about it other than my favorites are Uo-chan and Hana-chan and I can't wait until part 2 shows up. I am ready to see more of these Zodiac weirdos get hugged by Tohru and become animals and have her solve their problems in that order.

Shows that made me tear up count: 4

....Now, as usual, I will take a break to talk about the Precures I watched this year...

Futari wa Precure

This year, my friend Cheapsteaks and I decided to go after the OG Precure scene by watching the series that started it all. School girls run into fairies being pursued by weird monsters from another dimension/world/whatever and have to become legendary warriors to help them out. It's a story we all know well, just with lots of dropkicks and judo tosses.

As much as I like Honoka and Nagisa, and the opening theme...Futari wa has a lot of growing pains which is to be expected. Being the first one, it feels more like other magical girl series of the time compared to the style of later Pretty Cure series. From the rather uninspired villains, including one named Pissard, to the bland crush of Fuji P-senpai, and especially the obnoxious fairies, this is definitely one of the weaker series in my eyes. Again, it's probably not fair to judge it though since they didn't know what they were doing yet with this series.

That being said, there is a dumb fun to watching the Crunchyroll subs for a nostalgic taste of hard yellow subs and often not great audio. Again, the best parts of this are Honoka and Nagisa and I can see why they still get to be super popular today.

Smile Precure!

The other older series we checked out this year was Smile Precure which is much more my speed. The characters are all really good and they're all super good friends and it just makes me feel good. Like just in general they'rea really good and strong cast and I love all of them. Reika/Cure Beauty is the secret funniest character just by being the straight man on a team of doofuses and it works so well.

Miyuki's desire to make everything around her "Ultra Happy" just makes you feel good seeing a character who just wants others around her to be as happy as she is. All she needs is a smile and that makes me also smile. Akane is fiery and powerful, Yayoi is a big sweetie whose artistic trials and tribulations I SUPER identify with, Nao is a super cool big sister and I already brought up Reika being great. This is really one of my favorite Precures I've watched so far and I'm going to be sad to see it go in a few weeks.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention that I love the stupid villain trio. Especially Akaoni. I love you big red oni doofus. (Please see oni times in the link below)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXA5jfSJz_c&feature=youtu.be

Shows that made me tear up count: 5 (ANY NAO EPISODE AAAA)

Star Twinkle Precure

The newest Precure series! One we also dragged fellow anime friend Metalray into and I feel like it was a fun enough one. Cute alien encounters trying to help space zodiac princesses with a fluff unicorn and a tentacalien? Sign me up my dudes. Star Twinkle is a fun series and has a lot of things going for it, while also having weird similarities to Smile sometimes like soccer related attacks from good big sisters and prim and proper arrow girls.

The characters as always really make the show I feel when it comes to Precure and Lala is adorable enough to carry it entirely herself? But the enthusiasm of Hikaru is always fun because it usually just involves her being really into outer space and everything in it. Hey there's even Elena who is Mexican-Japanese and the show even explores a bit of her growing up being different from others so like, that's pretty cool I think? If it helps little kids learn to accept others and be cool through lil hermit crabs and dog space police officers, I think that's a real good thing.

...Now Precure time is over but I'm looking forward to next year's offering and seeing what old ones we go after next. (Spoilers, we will probably do Max Heart and Fresh!)...

How Heavy are the Dumbbells You Lift?

So this series has some problems in that like...wow sometimes during the exercise segments of the show, it just gets way too horny like...I dunno if I needed to see sensei in nothing but a bedsheet to show off how she worked her lats fellas. But I digress.

The main reason this show is on here is because it affected me enough to actually look at myself and start wanting to become healthier? Like the show is just a framing device for jokes and showing off exercise routines but the characters are all really sincere and the translation of the opening is even moreso? Like I feel this show helped me out a lot and I'm gonna let you all know about it cuz maybe it can help you out too if you need it.

I don't have a whole lot more to say but I will leave you with the opening I mentioned. Turn on the captions for this banger and remember that you can do it too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxi2Y4-NNXY

Wasteful Days of High School Girl

Hey, so can I say something amazing? Much like Asobi Asobase last year, this series was a very weird comedy that I absolutely ended up loving a lot in the end. The cast is full of delightful idiots, one aptly named Baka by her friends being the standout moron of the cast. The title pretty much says it all but you will find all sorts of high school girls here just wasting their youth away in their favorite ways.

You want a girl who draws BL doujin while listening to vocaloid tracks? We gotchu. What about a girl who is more invested in micro organisms in Petri dishes than her friends? Yo, we're set. A dipshit chuuni who climbs on top of absolutely anything tall and regularly needs to be rescued/leap out of trees because of it? Yea, that's here too. The show is not afraid to be weird any chance it gets and there's something I can respect about that. This series also had one of my number one laughs in an anime this year in one of the last episodes too and it still makes me laugh as I recall it right now.

Also like Asobi Asobase, it has the plus of having a lovable witch girl who is as pure as she is into weird occult shit. Majo you're a sweetie. Even if your room is creepy.

The Demon Girl Next Door

This show feels like something that should have come out about 5 years ago in terms of animation style, story set up, characters and even the jokes. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing though because not only is it pleasant and cute, it also knows when to step back from teasing its unfortunate main character. Shamiko, the demon girl formerly known as Yuko by everyone who isn't her family, is a kind of pitiful character and this series could easily just make jokes that punch down and humiliate her way more than it did.

Thankfully, the show actually does it's best to show that she is comic relief but also that she is genuinely a good person. She's not very good at being a demon as she is still learning so maybe she gets easily tricked by resident blase magical girl Momo more than she should. However, she will go out of her way to make sure her rival is eating more than the crappy instant food she frequently microwaves. Like I said, it's ultimately a silly, kind of dated feeling series but the character interactions are nice and it's just genuinely good

hearted to see these girls become friends, even if sometimes it's due to trickier. The show makes sure not to be mean at all times to Shamiko compared to say Satania in Gabriel Dropout's treatment, or the snake girl in that Dropkick show I dropped after one episode. Shamiko is good and hopefully one day she will be able to use her demon powers to rule the world so her family can have a bigger, non cursed, budget to live on.

O Maidens in Your Savage Season

Puberty is hard. Puberty is also maddening, wanting to drive you up the wall with new urges you are not used to. Simple joys like trains are replaced with weird videos you order off websites or somehow get from the back of a video store. Puberty is an inherently frantic time but it's also kind of funny if you think about it enough.

Maidens explores the tales of the Literature Club members as they go through this important stage of life and that's the fun of this series. All of the girls are each trying to find out exactly what it is they want out of a relationship. Is it just friendship? Is it Ess Ee Ecks? There's a lot of fun to be had as the series goes on. Whether it be Kazusa trying to get a bit further with a childhood friend, President Rika questioning her stance on relationships being even proper to have in high school or the writing adventures of HItoha going to sex chatrooms, there is a lot of different things going on in this show.

It's got a very good sense of drama as well; there were more than a few episodes where I found myself worried about what would happen next and hoping things would be ok. Niina's arc is very intense and gave me creeper vibes any time her old mentor appeared. The show is very good in general at just showing emotions and none of it felt like it was shoehorned or phony. The writing is top notch and I love all these girls. Puberty is a weird time but...they got this I'm sure.

Here are a couple of other shows I watched that didn't come out this year but enjoyed a lot!

SSSS.Gridman

Thank God Trigger was able to come back from its previous offering to give us Gridman. At first I was afraid that all of its Transformers color scheme easter eggs were just trying to lure me in with a mediocre show. This was not the case because Gridman just rules hard. A sequel/spinoff to the old 90's series, localized here as Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad, this show was a love letter from the creators to the show and other tokusatsu shows in general.

Kaiju appear to devastate the city, shown from low angles that just make it seem even more like you're watching an old toku show. The toyetic nature of Gridman's various powerups and the design of Gridman himself just further pay homage to this. There was one Kaiju for a moment I swear you could see a string operating it (for the record, it was not a string but was in fact part of the Kaiju). It's not just a cheap nostalgic trap though because the animation is superb, the action is top notch and the main theme song just kicks ass. This is a really cool series and if you have any passing interest in toku shows, are a Trigger fan, or like seeing Actionmaster Thundercracker's color scheme, go and check this thing out!

Other highlights include another version of Inferno Cop and Rikka's mom who is always fun and good.

Dirty Pair (TV series)

Dirty Pair is a series I watched a good chunk of before but never actually finished. Thanks to the #DirtyDecempair hashtag though, I finally went and did it and well...Dirty Pair is still really good y'all. It's got space babes who kick ass and are not afraid to go after hunks along the way. Seriously, it's great when you watch a show older than you and it lives up to its hype.

Kei and Yuri are really good characters because they will snipe at each other but in the end, they are still besties and will mess up anything that gets in their way. I appreciate that they always try to get more PTO and pay out of their boss. Even more, I appreciate that the chief will put up with all their shit, whether it be the aforementioned blackmailing for vacation or the sheer amount of destruction they leave in their wake, and still is 100% behind them. He knows they're the best he has and nothing will get in their way.

So yea, Dirty Pair. Still a good show over 30 years later. You should check it out next December! Or sooner, whatever!

That abut wraps up my list of anime I watched this year, but I'm also gonna throw a little bonus round on you! Some anime movies I watched and liked! Lightning round go!

Promare Good fucking movie, good fucking soundtrack. Good Trigger things this year. It lives up to its hype for sure. Go see this when it is out on DVD and Bluray!

Sound Euphonium - Our Promise: A Brand New Day This was a nice movie that felt like a good third season condensed into about 2ish hours.

Love Live! Sunshine!! The School Idol Movie: Over the Rainbow I actually like the music from this one more than the movie itself but seeing Ruby's arc gaining confidence is good and I love it.

Bonus Saint Snow Track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUNNWxK2Dfs

Redline A movie I kept meaning to see and finally did thanks. Stylish and cool as hell, and the dub is really good too.

Dragon Ball Super: Broly They made Broly a compelling character finally, holy shit. Also some good Frieza comedy.

KonoSuba! Legend of Crimson Imagine a village full of dipshit chuuni wizards. This movie was fun and funny as shit. Warning: It does have one awkward joke related to gender but it thankfully passes by it real quick.

So I think this is my list. I hope you enjoy it. The next time you'll see one from me will be in the distant future of 2020! Hopefully things will be cool by that point to go with the good anime.

#MiyosAnimeListISatItAgain

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prompt-and-circumstances · 5 years

Text

Disrupting the Peace

Characters/Pairings: Reader Insert, Gadreel/Reader, Castiel

Prompt: Police Officer for the Gadreel’s Gigs Challenge by @kazchester-fanfiction (reposting this very old fic)

Word Count: 2,146

Warning(s): Mild Language, Awkward Fluff?

A/N: This is my very first work of fan fiction; I don’t expect much, and neither should you. Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated!

Disrupting the Peace

This was the last straw. You couldn’t recall how many times you had called your neighbors about their absurdly loud stereos, asking for them to simply turn it down. You even lost track of how many times you had called building management. You even went so far as to call the dean, vice president, and president of the university. Campus security was next too useless as well, all they said “fill out a form” and then nothing happened. You must have filled over a dozen these past five months. You were blown off every single time. The stereo system was never lowered in volume; in fact, you were pretty sure it was turn up even more if that was even possible. The noise was ever present. It was starting to seriously affect your life, besides the effect it was already having on your sanity. Your health was suffering as you struggled to get sleep at night and now your grades were starting to suffer too. Falling asleep through lectures, forgetting to show up to study sessions, and let’s not even mention the times you spaced out during mid-terms. The whole situation was an unending nightmare and it ended. Now. It was time to take sufficient action against the dickweeds across the hall. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you calmly but coolly called the local police station. “This is Officer Novak, how may I help you today?”

“Uh, hi?” Seriously, how exactly do you greet a cop anyway? “I was wondering how to report, or even if I’m allowed to report, um, I think it’s called a disruption of the peace.” “It’s absolutely acceptable and even recommended to report a person or groups of persons that are disrupting the peace. Who is causing the disruption and how, and where are they so that I may send an officer down to deal with the situation?” “Well that seems fairly straight forward. I don’t know their names I just call them dickweed-7…” you paused as the officer on the other end of the line chuckled. “Sorry, their apartment number is D7. They’re my neighbors you see, across the hall from me. They like to blast indecipherable scream-metal music at all hours at full volume. We’re a campus apartment on the university and I can’t sleep, study, or even think at this point. I’ve asked them several times to turn it down and I’ve also exhausted the management of the building, administration of the university, and even campus security. I get blown off every single time and I’m at my wit’s end.” “Wow, that’s quite a situation you’ve got down there. I’ll send an officer down right away, what is your name please?” “Huh? M-my name? I’d like to remain anonymous if at all possible.” “Sure thing, I understand. I’ll make a note here and just be sure to tell the attending officer that as well. He’ll be stopping by your apartment as well to get a full statement. He’ll explain how to do it anonymously.” “Thank you so much Officer Novak.” “Sure thing ma’am. He’ll be there within the hour.” Sighing in relief, you hung up the phone and tidied up the apartment a bit. You wanted this whole thing to go in your favor after all, so it might be best to give off the illusion of “I’m a totally pulled together and serious college student.” You anxiously stared out your peephole hoping to catch a glimpse of your neighbor’s shocked faces when the officer shows up. However, that task got boring really fast so you opted to make a snack instead. While you were preparing a snack instead of keeping vigil (good thing you weren’t a police officer) you could hear heavy foreign footfalls on the stairs and then down the hall. Following was a heavy knock on dickweed-7’s door; you were mid-chew as you carefully rushed back to the peephole to catch your glimpse. Holy heck! The station sent a giant masquerading as a policeman. His shoulders were as broad as the door! Well if the jerks didn’t turn down for Officer Intimidating then they were not going to turn down for anything. You honestly did not know how long you stood there watching dickweed-7 and company deal with the officer, but next thing you knew he had turned around and started walking down the hall to your door! In a mad dash back to your kitchenette you quickly gulped down the rest of your snack while trying to regain your dignity. As you were leaving your little kitchen you caught a glimpse of yourself from the reflection in the microwave door. Your hair was a shambles. You groaned, no one could write comedy like this. This was real life and it hated you right now. In a panic you fussed with your hair in front of the microwave when you heard that ominously heavy knock on your door. It was now or never; so with your best Ariel impression, you dinglehoppered your hair into submission. Internally you were screaming like a pre-pubescent schoolgirl who had just met Justin Bieber before his voice broke. He wasn’t Officer Intimidating, quite the contrary! He was Officer God’s-Gift-to-Womankind! The man was a total hunk. Tall, broad-shouldered, and muscled. His face was serious and kind at the same time; his pale complexion betraying a plethora of freckles. His eyes resembled a forest in a thunderstorm, green but cloudy unless the light hit them just right. And that jaw, good lord it made you weak in the knees; he had a square jawline that you swear could cut through steel. “Sorry to bother you ma’am, but I’m going to need a complete statement from you.” “O-of course.” Pull yourself together, you can get through this. “What exactly does a statement entail. I’ve never done this before.” “No worries ma’am…” “Miss. I’m a miss, not a ma’am.” He shifted uncomfortably in the doorway, as if embarrassed he had called you ma’am. “My apologies. Miss. Basically I just need you to write down everything involving the situation. When the noise started, the steps you had previously taken to get it turned down, calling the precinct, and that an officer came by to handle the situation.” “Oh, well that doesn’t seem so bad.” You finally snapped back to reality and realized you had kept him standing in the hallway this entire time. “I’m sorry, would you like to come in? I can fill this out at the kitchen table.” “Thank you miss.” Good heavens, he actually had to duck under the doorway a bit, it was so sexy. How tall was he anyway, six-two? Six-three? You both sat at the table and he waited patiently as you wrote everything down. Every now and then you’d steal a glance at him, he looked so uncomfortable just sitting there with nothing to do. Maybe you should offer him a drink or something. “Excuse me, Officer- “ “Novak, Officer Novak.” Novak! That was the dispatching officer! Surely this wasn’t the same man. “Novak? From dispatch?” He chuckled, “oh no, I’ve never worked dispatch in my life. You probably spoke with my brother Cas. That’s more his thing, he enjoys talking with people and sending other officers to help them.” “Well he was very nice and helpful.” “I’ll let him know.” “Please do,” you smiled as you motioned towards the kitchenette, “could I get you something to drink. I really only have water or tea, you know, college budget and all.” “Thanks, tea would be great actually.” He offered up a nervous smile. Geez, he was the one with a gun, what was he so nervous about? “Is chamomile alright with you?” You caught his nod of approval as you disappeared into the kitchenette. You thought about Officer Dreamboat while you made the tea, getting so lost in thoughts of improper situations, you over poured the tea pot of boiling water right onto your hand. The dreamboat raced into the cramped kitchenette upon hearing your cry of pain, genuine concern plastered across his face. “Miss?” There was even genuine concern in his voice. His voice, you hadn’t noticed it before, but it sounded the exact way melted dark chocolate tasted, smooth. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you. I just, I just forgot where my head was. It’s fine, I just need to clean up this mess is all.” Your heart nearly stopped as he ignored your proclamations of normalcy and took your injured hand in his, examining it. He was standing so close you could practically count the freckles. “You’re going to need ice.” “I can get it, thank you. Well at least we have tea now.” You chuckled nervously, desperately trying to put him at ease. Officer Novak grudgingly nodded and went back to the table while you grabbed an ice pack as you brought the tea out. He seemed slightly dejected, his shoulders drooped a bit as he drank his tea and kept a watchful eye on your injured hand as you uncomfortably continued writing your statement. “Officer Novak?” “Please call me Gadreel. Officer Novak is my brother.” “Gadreel? That’s an interesting name. I’ve never heard it before.” “Yeah, it is a bit different isn’t it? It’s an old Biblical name, from an angel.” Of course he was named after an angel, how fitting. “That’s really cool, I hope you’re proud of your name. It’s special.” That did the trick. He sat a little more upright in his chair and his eyes were alight with gratitude, flashing green as he stared at you. “So, Officer Gadreel, I told your brother I wanted to remain anonymous with this whole situation. How do I do that?” “Well, you have to sign your statement but when I make my report and put your statement into the system I leave your name out. We’ll have an unsigned copy of your statement for public records and your signed one will be in a sealed file.” You sighed in relief as you leaned back in your chair. “Thank you. I know it sounds so silly to be anonymous about a disruption of the peace. I mean it would make sense if this had been a murder case and I were the sole witness, but honestly, those guys down the hall are such jerks and if they found out I ratted them out to the police, well, I’m sure they’d get revenge in some fashion or another.” Gadreel nodded all too knowingly. “I understand.” You signed the statement and handed it to Gadreel. You had taken the entire front and back of a page. He did say to write everything down, so you obliged. He folded it up and put it in his chest pocket while also taking out a card. He handed it to you with a smile, “If they do find out and give you a hard time, call me.” Sure enough, the card had the precinct number on it as well as his number. You both walked back to the door and even reached for the handle at the same time, your hands making contact briefly before both parties pulled away. You felt like an electric current just raced through your body and you were shocked to see he was not only avoiding eye contact, but he was blushing! “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get in your way.” You blamed yourself for the mix-up, trying to ease his pain a bit. He smiled and waited for you to open the door this time. As he walked back into the hall he turned around suddenly and looked you in the eye. “About that card I gave you. I mean it. If you ever need, anything, call me. Anytime, for any reason. I will come.” Now it was your turn to blush. “Thank you Gadreel. I will.” You both stood there a few minutes, intently staring into each other’s eyes. You were so absorbed with each other, neither one of you noticed dickweed-7 had opened their door and were just standing there, watching you. Gadreel smiled nervously again and then quickly leaned in and kissed you on the cheek before turning and walking away. He glanced up once while going down the stairs to catch one last glimpse of you and then he was gone. You sighed again, this had gone much better than you had expected. And then you saw them. Dickweed-7 was standing in their doorway dumbfounded. Eyes wide and jaw dropped. You flashed them a confident smirk as you turned on your heel and shut the door. That night was the purest sleep you’ve had in a while. Silent night. The first silent night in five months and all because of Gadreel. You smiled as you went to sleep, he was no office, he was an angel. And you couldn’t wait to call him back.

Tags: (tried to remember who was a Gadreel fan)

@manawhaat @rowdyhooliganism @pawsandscrubs @room-with-a-cat @totally-not-gadreel @blondecoffeecake @thewhiterabbit42

#gadreel's gigs #kazchester-fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #gadreel #fan fiction #SPN Fanfic Pond #reposting an old fic #castiel #castiel novak #gadreel novak

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microshiner · 5 years

Text

The problem with owning a van

At 1 PM on Sunday afternoon, I am sitting alone at a four-top table in the middle of a large buffet room. Soccer is on the TV in front of me and soccer is also on the TV behind me. I don’t know who is playing, or what the score is. I don’t have my glasses on, so I can barely see the screen. The room is fairly packed and full of conversation, although not in English, so despite all the activity I sit alone with my thoughts. I have three plates of food. What I would consider to be the main plate, the one I have been digging into the most fervently, is a mixture of lo mein noodles, sweet and sour something or other, wontons, french fries, onion rings, chicken nuggets, garlic bread, steamed mussels, and ice cold jumbo shrimp. I also have a large plate of salad. The third plate is a pool of sauce, mostly ketchup.

As cliché as this might sound, I am not in Vegas, and unfortunately, not hungover. But I am running on no sleep and walking with a severe limp, having trekked a good sixty or so miles back and forth across a festival site over the previous few days carrying everything from amplifiers to old wooden tables to dollies of Red Bull and Blue Moon.

Such is life in the summer months - full of festivals and constant events, keeping the bills paid while slowly draining the sanity. For many of them, I am fortunate enough to be on the press side of things, where my main responsibilities are observing the action and conducting a couple interviews along the way while keeping a steady stream of booze flowing in, because I heard a rumor once that alcohol helps prevent your ears from being damaged by loud music. It acts as a protective layer between the blasting speakers and your ear drum. I’ve got to look out for my health in these situations.

If I remember correctly, the guy that told me that felt it necessary to scream it at me from right in front of the stage as he was plugging his right ear with an index finger and holding a can of Coors Light in the other hand.

I was far from the media this weekend, though. More like a grunt laborer. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, and I did manage to score a couple vouchers for the food trucks. In the end, it was probably worth a few days of schlepping gear in and out of a Ford Econoline.

That’s the problem with owning a van. People are always wanting you to use it. I could make a monthly payment if I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to come up with an impromptu lie like, ‘Oh, yeah man, I won’t be able to help you move today because my van is actually missing the engine right now. Must have gotten stolen overnight or something. Sorry.’

One can only be so much of a workhorse. Two, however, can be just as good as four or five, as I learned last week from a band called You Knew Me When at Jagged Mountain Brewery in Denver. I was finishing off a long work day with a pint and had the chance to talk to the group before they took the stage (in this case, the corner of the tasting room) for a happy hour set and get the lowdown on how they make a living booking tours based around breweries and distilleries and what their music is all about. This two-piece has the sound and style of a full band, and then some.

The husband and wife duo of Cie (pronounced ‘See’) and Karisa Hoover hail from Nashville, the home of country, but they wanted to do something a little different. Cie comes from a heavy metal background, Karisa is about as close to the definition of an indie girl as you can find, and while their sound is certainly far closer to indie than metal, good metal to me wears its heart on its sleeve the way punk became known for, and with a glance at Cie’s lyric sheets, you will find plenty of heart.

Their live performances are full of that same heart. Heart, and booze. You Knew Me When traverses the region hitting primarily breweries and distilleries, sharing their craft music with hordes of craft guzzlers night after night and doing a fair amount of ‘sampling’ along the way. “We have a limit of two drinks before we play,” Karisa says. “I’m drinking kombucha right now so that I can adhere to that rule.” I think back to the time I’ve spent on the road and wonder why the hell I never of thought of that. So many sloppy performances could have been marginalized.

The two met while attending Belmont University in Nashville, Cie learning up on PR and marketing and Karisa studying music education. Together with their musical prowess, and following a wedding and several years together, they felt they had the necessary skill set to uproot from the shackles of everyday life and become a full-time touring band. The two did not start playing music together right away, but over time began to feel that their artistic juices could create one heck of a punch.

“I think it was really the creative drive,” Cie says. They decided, after putting together the band, to take a one year sabbatical from work and see what they could make happen musically.

“Three years later, here we are,” says Karisa with a laugh.

Traveling with only two people, both Cie and Karisa hold multiple instrumental duties. Cie sings, plays guitar, and handles foot percussion, while Karisa holds down the piano, ukulele, glockenspiel, cymbals and, oh yeah, does some singing herself. “When we started touring, we decided to just do the touring thing with just the two of us, so it was like, how can we create more of a cool sound with just the two people so that’s when we added the kick drum and she added some cymbals. We added stuff to fill out the sound as a duo.”

You Knew Me When is approaching their 100th brewery, quite an accomplishment. I haven’t even drank at that many breweries, let alone gigged. I just met these guys, but I am proud of them. They also have quite a few distilleries under their belt, with WildRye Distilling out of Bozeman, Montana being their favorite (also noted is Willie’s Distillery in Ennis,. Apparently, I need to visit Big Sky Country). They are doing it, and since I have no two drink rule on this particular night, I stop by State-38 Distilling on the way home to celebrate the band’s accomplishments.

To be honest, I have never tried locally made tequila here in Colorado, and I’ve been meaning to check these guys out for a while. Owner and Master Distiller Sean Smiley has built a solid reputation for his products- they are one of the few I’ve actually seen in the small, corner liquor store down the street from my house. Their tasting room boasts a wood-paneled bar and similar flooring, giving it a rustic finish that feels very Colorado appropriate.

“We’re a 100% agave distillery,” says lead distiller JT Tewinkle. They distill tequilas, obviously, but also a Blanco Agave Spirit and an agave-based vodka and a gin, both the world’s only. Add to that list North America’s only one-year aged Anejo and you’ve got yourself one of the most impressive menus in the country, let alone the 38th state which they call home.

It was during the aging process for the Anejo that Sean and JT came up with the concept and plans for their agave-based vodka and gin. “We started off with the Blanco and the Reposado, and then we were literally sitting on our heels for a year for the Anejo, so we had to start looking at other things we could do,” Tewinkle says. “There’s two rules with vodka - it has to be distilled at 190 proof or better, and it has to be filtered. So basically that means you can make vodka out of shoe leather if you (follow the rules).”

This is apparently the case with a lot of the mass-produced vodkas you see on the shelves at liquor stores and bars - when you read ‘distilled seven times,’ it often means that they started with garbage ingredients and had to distill it that many times just to get to 190 proof, meaning their bragging of a high number of distilling cycles is little more than a bad marketing ploy. “It’s a trick of the vodka industry,” Tewinkle informs me.

He and Smiley have known each other for twenty years. Smiley started the distillery and hired JT as his lead distiller almost immediately, confident in his knowledge of tequila and experience in the bar industry. “I’ve been a tequila guy my entire sixteen year career, so it was a very easy segue to learn how to make it. Plus, I have a chemical engineering background from college, so that didn’t hurt.”

I am lead into the distilling area behind the tasting room and poured a sample of the Reposado straight from the barrel. Their agave is 100% organic, right out of Jalisco, Mexico. All products are distilled and bottled in-house from agave to glass by the two themselves.

“I love distilling,” Tewinkle says. Smiley does as well, as I gathered from email correspondence, and it shows in their product line. I have yet to taste anything near what they are doing with their agave liquors. Back in the tasting room, I familiarize myself with a few more of their products. Not a bad cap to what has been a good day - nothing like a little craft agave to restore your sanity.

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