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heyitslapis · 6 years

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Ok, so about my situation with Alex (warning, this is a looong read)

Wednesday night (or should I say 12am Thursday morning) I told her I was ready to talk. She said go for it, and i told her some stuff to start, like how her and Jacob’s relationship wasnt really any of my business, and she didnt have to go into any details about anything that she didnt want to. i told her what i remembered hearing about Jacob, and asked her if it was true. she explained that it was a lot more complicated than she let on. They both were going through some stuff when they met, and neither of them were right for each other at the time. It was a mutual thing. She said there was never anyone keeping the other on a tight leash, so to speak, and when i asked her if it was true that they worked everything out and that they were gonna be ok, she assured me that yes, everything would be fine. After that, i told her that i wrote something for her. It was a Google Doc of everything that i wanted to say, everything i wanted to explain on my end, and let her see what happened from my point of view, but since it was over 2,000 words, she didnt have to read it if she didnt want to. I also told her she could stop after “theres something else” if she wanted, because thats when it got to the point that i wasnt sure if i should leave in. She told me of course shes willing to read it, and i sent her the link.

In the document i explained that i was so upset because i never knew exactly how “bad” things were between them the first time, but that i had a picture painted of him as a bad guy. I explained that when i saw her run up and hug him friday night, even though id never seen him before, the fear cropped up that that was Jacob. i told her how i was shaking and when she introduced us i already decided that i hated his guts because of what i thought he was, and how i was confused and mad and hurt that she would go back to him. How that night i went home and bawled my eyes heart and soul out for 2 hours before deciding that i would distance myself from her until i could rationalize this. i wrote about how much it killed me working with her Saturday and having her act like nothing was wrong and still treating me that exact same cutesy way she always did, and how when my sister hosted a party after work, i didnt want to go if Alex was going. But of course the one time i dont want to socialize, by brother drags us there to help my sister move furniture. I told her how i was sort of ok until she showed up, then it hurt so much that i couldnt bare to have my attention anywhere but in my phone, and that i was practically praying for my brother to take us home. I told her how after we left, my brother said that we only left because she texted him saying that i looked like i needed to go home, and how i cried the whole way home because i felt so bad for it being that obvious that i needed to leave, and for being so rude and standoffish towards her that night when she still cared so much for me, even to offer buying me a chocolaty dessert bc i was cramping. i asked her to forgive me for some details i said that i wont go into, and said that i respect her for doing this for herself and no one else.

I told her that most of why this whole thing had me this distraught is because as far as I knew, he had hurt her before, and now to see her willingly back at his side when he might hurt her again for who knows how much longer this time made me sick to my stomach. But then I told her the other reason why I was so upset was, admittedly, I'm jealous of him.

I said that i didnt want to tell her, because its cliche and dickish to wait until its too late to admit it, but that i think, or thought, that i loved her. for real loved. I told her that i didnt want her now, because its wrong to want for someone who is already in a relationship, but that i had the biggest, hardest, most thought and emotion consuming crush on her. That it was nothing i had ever felt for another human being before. I explained how I started to develop these feelings in November, and thats only because she snapped me saying that i looked nice (when i was wearing pjs and hadnt showered in days) and then that i was cute followed by two separate snaps of kissy faces, so i thought, surely she must like me and im not being silly. And how the thought that she liked me was too tantalizing to ignore. I confessed that i had felt myself start to develop feelings earlier in the year. How early, i wasnt sure, but that God did i try to stop myself from catching these feelings. That i repeated a mantra in my head for months that she didnt Like me, she just loved me as a friend, and that this is how a real friendship feels and that im being silly.

But i laid it out there that Ive never had a friend call me cute, and so often. I've never had friends drunk-sing love songs to me through another person's snapchat. I've never had a friend snap me a picture of her watching some comedian and say “He’s talking about being in love with this girl. ❤ Love you.” I've never had a friend text me at 2:05 in the morning, unprovoked, just to say “Quick reminder that you’re my favorite and I love you!”, or kiss my face twice the night of our store’s Christmas party, or tell our key manager that only I can cuddle with her. And never have I ever had a friend literally 4 months after we meet tell me that if I got a tattoo, she’d get my initials tattooed on her, and then 9 months later get a tattoo permanently added to her body of a flower that I gave her because “she loves orchids and the people who give them to her”, and then a month after that tell me that every other time she looks at it she cries cause she loves it and says “I love you so much. ❤❤❤” (<- that was the actual chunk of words that i wrote in the Doc)

I said that yes, I remember all of them. Because they made such an impact on my locked up little affection starved heart that I couldnt even begin to explain how those moments made me feel. And because with each one that would be added, it would prove to me that maybe this was real. Maybe I'm not being paranoid or delusional or just dreaming up a fantasy.

I wrote that despite being convinced that she requited a crush on me, I couldn't bring myself to ask her how she really felt about me, because 1) I was so scared of being wrong that I thought I’d rather sit idly by to see if she’d eventually make the first move. 2) I wasn't out, and am too scared to come out, so even if she did like me back, it's not like we’d be able to be a thing. And 3) She already had my one brother fall for her and then snap because she didn't feel the same way and dated a dude from work instead, and then my eldest brother thinks shes gorgeous and was convinced that she was/is into him, so I thought the last thing she needed/wanted was another kid from my family “falling in love” with her. But that believe me when I say that I've mentally wrestled my hand over my own mouth literally every other day since at least January to stop myself from asking her.

I promised that even as I was writing, that I didnt want her to know. I didnt want her to know because now that shes in a relationship, this just looks like I’m trying to confess my love in a last ditch hope of “winning the girl” and making her want to leave him again for me, but that’s not what I wanted. Letting her know all this just makes everything 1000x more complicated for everyone than it needs to be, not to mention the awkwardness of it. That the only reason I was saying all this is so that she could fully understand why knowing shes back with him affected me as bad as it did, I said bc I can guarantee that any one of her other friends aren't spending their weekend/week crying like a heartbroken middle school girl because their best friend got back with her ex. I admitted I’m jealous, and I’m mad at myself because I feel like I went and got my heart broken, because even after a decade of telling myself that I don't want or need a relationship, I was a fool and let myself catch feelings and fall harder than I imagined, all because someone showed me a little affection. I told her i know that this wasnt inherently her fault, I projected feelings when I shouldn't have, and I can only be reasonable and face the fact that I should've taken a chance months ago, but we all miss doors that stand open for us, and we all regret not taking that first step through when we had the chance. That’s my fault. I made that bed, and now I get to lay in it. I told her that she showed me a love that I've never known, and I never thought I'd know, and for that, I gave her thanks.

Then i wrote that i’d be ok, as long as she was ok. I swore to her that her happiness and safety matter to me above all else, and that if he treats her with all the love, respect, and gentleness that i wish for her, that would make me happy. I told her that I hope that they are on mutual grounds now, and that they did work it out, and that he treats her like the Earthbound Aphrodite that she should be treated as. Because if he hurts her, it’ll break my heart. I said that if that happens and she leaves him, I won't let myself be the emotional rebound, no matter how desperate I am. (which honestly, i probably shouldnt have said that, or i at least should have added “given that you felt the same way”. but oh well. this is all behind us now.)

She responded, saying that she wasnt exactly sure what to say, but that she had a feeling she knew what all of this was about. She said that im honestly the best friend she’s had, and shes cares for me so much. That she loves and respects me on another level, and that she was mad at him for coming in last Friday because she was trying to work her way up to talking to me about it. She said that she doesnt want to hurt me by anything she does, and that it was killing her to hide it from me. She promised me that she’ll never stay in a relationship where she wasnt valued or treated well, and that she’ll always be open and honest with anything going on with her. She told me “Thank you for letting me in on everything going on in your head. You’re so special to me.”

I told her i know, i guess im pretty bad at being subtle and hiding things, but that i keep apologizing bc i didnt want to be that little girl that fell for something that wasnt there, and that i didnt want to burden her with knowing how i felt, especially now that shes in a relationship, and that i never wanted this to happen. I hated that i projected this on her. I promised that she doesnt hurt me, and its not her job to tell me every little detail about her personal life.That im a friend, not a parole officer keeping tabs on every little thing she does. If anything, i hurt myself, but i’ll live. I told her not to be mad at Jacob, because he didnt know, and he especially didnt know that i’d be jealous. I know shes smart and wont stay where shes not valued or treated well, and that she doesnt have to report everything about her life to me, but if she ever wants to tell me something, even if shes anxious about it, she can tell me. I thanked her for being chill and patient with me. I told her its hard for me to get rid of my jealousy so easily, but that i feel im accepting it well, considering this is my first experience with this stuff. I told her i might not be the one for her rihgt now, or even ever, but that when she does find that person, im gonna cheer for her because she deserves that happy ever after. I said as for Jacob, i’d keep an open mind. That he’s just a dude after all. I told her thank you for being so awesome and gentle with me, and that i love her.

#kudos if you actually read all this #but yeah. were ok now #i still feel really awkward around her though bc..yknow.. her best friend just confessed her love for her and admitted that shes jealous #and i feel like i cant allow myself to be as comfortably flirty or lovey around her now as i used to. at least not for a while #but shes ok. were ok. im ok #but it kills me to not know how she felt. i just want to know if i was really wrong. if it was all misread. i want to know if it was just me #she never really touched that topic. but it honestly doesnt matter at this point. even if she liked me she worked it out with Jacob and #she seems happy with him. theres no point in opening more hearts out on the table. so its probably better that i dont have an answer...#i just feel like a silly love imprinting fool..#i feel kinda like korra when she admitted to mako that she really liked him and thought that they were meant for each other #and he just kinda turned awkwardly away and said that he didnt feel the same way... that he was with asami #it makes me feel like a silly kid. but i'll get over it. i dont stay embarrassed by much for very long #avatarkorvira speaks #alex

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optimisticpoetrypost-blog · 6 years

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I'm 18 years old and my parents insurance covers me. If im paying in cash do i have to know their insurance info?

Car accident with no insurance?

I was stopped at a red light behind two cars. Both cars started to go and so did I the next thing I knew I had hit the car in front of me. The car in front of me hit the car in front of him. We all pulled over my car isnt to bad but I drive a suburban, the car in front of me was a smaller car so his looked a little worse. Nobody was hurt, and all cars were drivable, so we decided to not call the police we just all exchanged information. After we had finished and they left I immediately called my insurance lady to let her know what happened. I am not super clear on this next part, we have been going back and forth with our insurance since that call and will continue to fight it. When I called the insurance lady she said I wasnt covered. She said that they had received the last payment much later than it was due (not sure how because it was mailed the same time as always) but because of that our insurance had been cancelled. A couple of weeks ago they had chased our check, she said we were reinstated as of yesterday (the day of the accident) but because it was the same day they werent liable to pay the damages. We are going to keep fighting them because I dont think its fair. Even if they decide that they wont pay we can afford to just pay for the damages to the rear end of the car in front of us, because know matter what happened I am at fault for following to close. We cant afford to pay out of our pocket also for his front end and the rear end of the first car. Shouldnt those damages be covered by the car I hit because he was obviously following to close to the car in front of him? Im a little freaked out with all this, this is the first accident I have ever been in and we have always had insurance, so we thought. The insurance company did say they mailed us a cancellation notice but if they did we have never received one.""

Cheap auto insurance in gresham/portland oregon?

I just moved to Gresham, OR from the Dallas, TX area. I am a 19 year old female who has been driving for over 2 years and has never gotten in a wreck. In Texas I had auto insurance for $88 a month from a local independently owned company. All the quotes I am getting from popular companies here are unbelievably high. Does anyone know of any cheap independently owned companies in the Gresham/Portland Oregon area. I'm trying to shoot for my insurance to be under $100 a month. Please let me know, thanks.""

Adding 18 year old non-owner to car insurance.?

I am now 18 years old but have not yet gotten my driver's license because of the rate increase before I turned 18. I have had my learner's permit for 3 years and have a perfect driving record (no tickets or accidents). I do not own a car right now. So, I need to know if A) I need to be added to my parent's policy in order to drive their car once I get my license, and B) if so, how much more will the insurance be? I live in Florida.""

Must all drivers in New York have insurance?

if so then what would be the penalty for not having insurance? & is there a minimum amount of insurance that must be carried?

Can someone over 65 purchase private health insurance in California?

Insurance- dui-?

if i get convicted of a dui- my insurance will go up correct, the question i have is how long will i be paying the higher premium? 10 years? 5 years? 1 year? and also what is the avergae price it goes up considering i am 23 years old no tickets or accidents till the dui accident(hit a tree) live in southern california and drive a mustang gt i pay 160 with the accident right now(i think i paid 100-125ish before the accident. thanks""

I need tips for reducing cost of car insurance plz?

Ive got a few tips but can anyone think of any more? thanks a million

Average cost of dune buggy insurance- just answer... I don't want websites to go to?

How much is cheap auto insurance for a 16 yr old female?

she would have a nissan maxima. how much would it be to have her under her own..with a co signer in VA

Can someone help me? I got a citation for no insurance?

My brother has a cheap cash car and I just moved in with him. Well apparently since its so cheap, he decided not to get insurance on it, but I have to drive it to work. A cop hiding out saw me do a illegal u-turn, and i quote that because I didn't see any sign saying no u-turn. Anyways, he pulled me over and asked for proof of insurance and I had none, so he gave me this citation and i have some mandatory meeting to go to court? I never been pulled over or issues a citation, and i'm so pissed at my brother for not having insurance! Now i'm going to go personally buy me some when I get home, but I never done this before, is there a way I can get out of this? I would be considered a first time offender, and he told me I had a good driving record, and said something about making a deal with me, by going to the court but I don't remember because i'm so stressed out right now. Then I read something online about a conviction if and something about a surcharge annual for 3 years? WTF is that all about?""

How to insure my car if I go to live in France?

I'm moving to France soon and I would like to keep my english car. Insurance companies are asking for the bonus-malus and I don't know the equivalent in english...so they can't tell me how much it would be...Does anybody had to insure their car in France? What do I need to do? thanks xxxx

Taking new car home with no insurance?

So the car is in my Moms name and she has insurance, but she has to drive her car home, meaning I have to drive the other one. I don't have insurance, but we are getting GAP insurance. Is this safe? If I damage the car are we covered?""

Liability vs Full Coverage??

I don't know much about insurance can someone tell me how liability and full coverage insurance works?

Penalty Points on car insurance?

Ive been with my current insurer for a couple of years. I got a speeding fine (3 points) in the summer of 2007. I stupidly didnt declare it with my insurer and missed it off on my renewal. I am now leaving them and going elsewhere and want to come clean and list this conviction in my quote. My question is........ WIll the new company check with the old company about my insurance with them and any convictions? If so will they notice the discrepency and tell my old insurer?

How much will the insurance company give me for my car?

i was crashed into by another driver who has accepted full responsibility, my car was a vw polo 1.2 e it had done 55,000 miles and was a 53 plate. does anyone know how much they will offer me? im really worried im going to get completely ripped off and i only brought it a few months ago and the crash wasn't my fault at all. thanx for any help :)""

How can I get insurance without a job?

I want to be a full time nanny but I won't be getting insurance. How can I get my own insurance?

Who offers the best and most affordable medical insurance?

i am a 19 year old female from southern california. I work full time and not currently going to school. my job does not offer medical benefits i would like coverage asap. please help me out!

If I show proof of insurance?

I was driving my car on the clock. I use my vehicle as a work vehicle. Anyways I was sent to the store to purchase sodas. when I tapped a vehicle on the rear bumper. We pulled over and exchanged information. And later found out that my own insurance was expired. Am I covered. By work or can I purchase insurance after the fact. And still be okay?

""Car insurance in the USA, for foreigners / tourists?""

im 18years old, and hopefully after my exams in may, i hope to go to america to visit a couple of friends. My mates have put forward the idea of a possible roadtrip in his car. Its his car, and im assuming its insured. However since its a roadtrip, i will also probably need to drive, in which case how do i sort this out?? can i drive on his insurance, as long as i tell his insurance company or is it more complicated than that. I've been told than unlike car insurance in the UK, Americans insure the DRIVER, rather than the car. i have a full UK license, and dont mind if i have to get a international driving permit, but how do i figure out this insurance problem.""

Average insurance rate for BMW 5 series and Lexus RX?

What are the average insurance rates for a BMW 530 or 5 series in general? I can understand that it may vary based on location and the driving history of the driver and maybe other factors too but still there has got to be an average? Also, how does the insurance rate compare to a Lexus RX series? Is it more or less than the 5 series?""

Someone hit me and they cancelled their car insurance?

I was hit by a moving truck (chevy), while I was in a parking lot. My car was not moving at the time the truck hit me. He gave me his car insurance info and phone number. I tried calling his number and I reached a dead end. I started a claim through Farmers insurance and I got a call today saying the claim was cancelled, because the gentleman in question cancelled his insurance the day the accident took place. What do I do now?""

When my boyfriend turned 18 he lost his health insurance. where can he get health insurance at?

He doesn't see the importance of it, but I know he needs it. dental and health insurance. He doesn't make a lot of money either.""

Car insurance expired?

my insurance expired today, do i have to declare my car is off road while im trying to sell it. is there a time limit""

Would it be a good idea for insurers to give a % of income they give out in claims?

We all look for the cheapest premium, but we have no idea how they would perform if you had to claim. I heard somewhere that car insurers give out much more that household insurance (or vice versa) and can't understand why.""

Insurance policy?...?

My mum n dad are insured on a car and are going away next week for 2 weeks and said I can get insured on their car. But their insurance will not insure anyone under 25. I don't think you can have 2 insurance policies on one vehicle but not sure, so can you? How can I get round this? If I got a temp insurance the police would only give me a warning, yeah? Personal Information: 19 year old male with a 2 year driving license and 1 year NCB Pass Plus obtained""

How can they justify the cost of car insurance?

Hi I want to know how are car insurance company's able to justify the extra costs for men over women, I've just had to pay 2620.18 for my insurance (the cheapest i could get) and have just checked to see how much i would be paying if i was female and the same company was charging only 1693.19 and the new cheapest is now 1549.89. I can honestly not see how they are allowed to charge me an extra 926.99 purely because I'm a guy. I'm sure there would be an uproar and complaints if company's started charging more for people of different ethnic origins so can they get away with this?""

""If you were non-insured for health coverage, what would you prefer?""

Would you rather be under a government-run option that decide who you could see, what procedures are allowed and when you were allowed to have those procedures done? Or would you prefer a tax credit that would allow you to choose a private plan that you want, that allows you to see who you prefer, have the coverage that you need and treat you in a timely fashion? Today the Republicans have proposed an option that would give you such a choice, but Democrats have shut them out and don't want Americans to know that they have such a choice in healthcare.""

How Much Is the insurance going to increase?

Today I hit a car :( and although it was minimal damage, he decided to report it. I wanted to know how much is the insurance going to increase. Take in that i'm not in the policy its under my mom's name.""

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a 17 year old boy?

Insurance: Get car fixed?

On Friday, I was rear-ended by a 2000 Mitsubishi Montero Sport. I got some minor damage done to my 2004 Mazda 3s. My bumper has scratches and a dimple-- which really isn't noticeable. The car has 100,000 and I'm debating whether or not to get it fixed. I am thinking of taking the insurance money to pay off debt. Should I or should I get the car fixed? Will I get into trouble if I use the money to pay off debt?""

How does the insurance company find out about moving violations?

My understanding is that when you get a moving violation (e.g, a speeding ticket), the police or the courts or whoever will notify your insurance company. When your insurance company finds out and finds out about the points that are now on your license, they raise your insurance premium. However, a friend tells me that he's received several speeding tickets, that his insurance company has never found out (meaning no one is notifying his insurance company), and that his premium has therefore never gone up. How is that possible?""

How much is it for a girls car insurance?

I'm in grade eight and we have to do this project and for one of the questions I need to know how much my car insurance would be, I'm a girl as I said and I live in Ontario, Canada. Anyone know?""

How much would the insurance be for a 16 year old with a v6 2010 camaro?

My mom is either giving me her car which is a 2006 Lexus gx 470 which she bought for $50,000 or she will buy me a 2010 v6 camaro. Would insurance be lower if I recieved the lexus or camaro?""

Can i get my car insurance reinstated?

Hi, my insurance was paid in full for 10 months. i had a crash end september went down i was at fault. I still had till end march on policy and obvs its been cancelled as car was right off. I am sure the woman said i can reinstate policy as i paid in full?? Any help would be good thanks""

I Scratched another car how much will my insurance go up?

While backing up at a gas station I bumped into a guys car and left a dime size bump on his car how much do you think it will cost? and how much will my insurance go up?

Affordable and good quality health insurance?

I'm looking into purchasing some health insurance. I'm 20 years old with no major health concerns. I'm thinking about Allstate but I hear it's around $100 a month.

""What is a good & inexpensive life insurance, medical insurance & dental insurance?""

I work for a company that doesnt supply any of this. So I need to come up with this on my own, hence the inexpensive part. I am a husband & father of 3 so I would like to make sure they are well taken care of just incase. I would also like a good insurance for us.""

""Can you drive your friend's car, which is insured but you are not in his/her insurance?

I am not added to his insurance but the car is insured.. how does it work?.. website link would help as well..

Where do I but non car owner insurance?

I need to get my licence and here in NC they require you to have insurance to get your licence wher do I go to buy non car owners insurance at the best price?

Insurance and child support?

If my husband provides insurance through his work to his daughter and is also paying child support on her is he going to be responsible for the co-pay everytime she goes to the doctor? His daughter also has a secondary insurance through the state that her mom collects we were just wondering if the secondary insurance would pay or who would be responsible. The mother or him???

Where to find cheap car insurances and allows for monthly payment?

Where to find cheap car insurances and allows for monthly payment? I'm seeking for a real cheap car insurances that allows me to go for monthly payment. any one out there who has any answer, pls reoky to me asap, its really Urgent. thanks, guys...""

Infiniti g35 insurance rate for a 19 year old?

Who offers the best and most affordable medical insurance?

i am a 19 year old female from southern california. I work full time and not currently going to school. my job does not offer medical benefits i would like coverage asap. please help me out!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-cheapest-car-insurance-sharie-noena-2"

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