#i know its petty but some of you are missing out on a good story just because you wont broaden your reading horizons

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#22: The Trouble in 'Paradise' (1.03)

gif cred: @perryabbott

Rick's note in the getaway boat didn't get Michonne to leave...but it did get Dana Bethune to disappear 😋...

After breaking Michonne’s heart the night before in an attempt to save her, Rick is walking around in his CRM uniform and approaches Jadis with a salute. Jadis says, “State your business, soldier” and Rick informs her, “She’s gone. And you’re helping me make her stay gone.”

Jadis, who seems to be more aware than Rick rn that Michonne would never just leave him here, asks, “How is she gone?” Rick answers, “I made it look like she died trying. I know I needed to stay to get her away so I’m here.”

It’s interesting how Rick seems so resolved about this. Like I know the night of the getaway he had to be in his apartment a whole devastated mess about what he’s had to do to get Michonne home, but now in front of Jadis, he’s not going to show her how much it pained him to have to send her away and stay stuck here.

Also, Rick has been in sacrifice mode for literal years and so I think he’s just swallowed this Michonne sendoff as yet another sacrifice he has to make as the dead man who gets no personal wins that he’s been living as.

Jadis, who for once in her life is onto something says, “She actually left without you. I don’t believe that, Rick.” Lol I think Jadis really thinks Rick is pulling a fast one and lying about Michonne leaving but no, Rick has got himself so convinced that tricking her to leave was for the best and that Michonne would actually do it and leave. It's another indicator that it's clearly been some years and he's gotten a little hazy on remembering Michonne would never just leave him in the dead of night like that.

gif cred: @taiturner

Rick responds, “She didn’t know she was leaving without me.” And I was like - Rick, doesn’t that break your heart? Cuz it breaks mine. Knowing that the only reason Michonne ‘left’ was because she trusted his plan and thought he was coming with her. And now as far as he knows she’s had to mourn losing her husband yet again. And this time because he seemingly ‘wanted’ it that way.

That's gotta hurt Rick to think about, but again I think Rick is so laser-focused on how this is how it has to be that I don’t think he’s letting himself even fully process how hurtful what he did is to Michonne. 

Jadis asks if Rick still wants to kill her, calling back to their conversation earlier when she says, “You still see that?” Rick starts nearing his full petty form when he says, “Maybe I was just dreaming” suggesting killing her would be a dream lol. And then he calls back to Negan and Jadis' old saying, “People are a resource.”

He continues, “You’re part of this now.” and quotes Jadis saying, “‘Our fates are bound.” I know he’s basically like 'look, I need you to help sell this story of what happened to Dana and that is the only reason you get to live another day.'

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

Rick tells Jadis how he found a walker body close enough to Michonne's, put it in a consignment uniform, and tore its face and scalp off. He says the story is Dana fell, hit her head on the rocks and walkers got her. Then he gives Jadis some orders saying, “You just make sure you’re on the investigation as soon as they find out she’s missing.”

I was like buddy, they aren’t going to find out she’s missing but you are going to find out who your wife is after maybe getting a little hazy about Michonne Grimes. 😅

Jadis says she’ll “make sure to be on point when Dana goes gone” and also that her hands are clean if anything goes down. Then she says, “And if you do want to make your dream come true - kill me while we’re nose to nose. I already left them all the answers you don’t want them to have.” Don't tempt us with a good time now, Jadis.

Also, the way Rick stares at her and subtly rolls his eyes before walking away, it's like you can see the moment the hair insult pops in his head before he says it lol. 🤭

And then Jadis tries Richonne to capacity yet again when she has the audacity to tell Rick, “You say you did it for her. I’m sure that that is true but I wonder if it isn’t something else that's keeping you here. Again, I did save your life.” Disgusting. 😒 I know that serpent didn’t just try to imply that Rick might've sent Michonne away because he had the hots for the trash lady/his captor. She lost her damn mind with that comment. Truly. 🙃

gif cred: @jake-wheeler

Rick gives Jadis' suggestive comment no mind as he just brings it back to Michonne and says, “Well now you get to save hers.”

gif cred: @jake-wheeler

And then Petty Rick reaches his final form with this...

gif cred: @nerd4music

And the eyebrow-raise tho. 🤭 He knows he ate her up. Lol this moment had me dying and I love how this is Rick’s way of letting Jadis know that not even in her dreams would he be staying here cuz he wants her.

gif cred: @nerd4music

And the way Jadis reacts, it seems like Rick knew the right button to push cuz she smiles but looks offended as she walks away. And honestly, I’m here for Rick throwing shade because Jadis’ little slick comments and come-ons - that I don’t even think are rooted in actually liking him but more rooted in liking that it makes him uncomfortable - are harassment and so she needed to step all the way back. ✋🏽

gif cred: @taiturner

The second Jadis walks off, Rick gets a vibrating notification from Pearl. He comes over to the consignee area and stands at attention behind Pearl who's watching the consignees with her arms crossed and a scowl.

She turns to Rick and says, “You’re in real trouble now Sergeant Major'' and yes he is…just not with the CRM lol. 🙂

gif cred: @nat111love

The way Rick is looking at Pearl like 'what now?' not even realizing that who he’s in real trouble with is actually among the consignees. But he quickly realizes once he looks out and sees the baddest chick in the game on a walker-killing rampage.

gif cred: @nat111love

And then Rick's face lol. 🤭 I’m glad that now I can watch and laugh and kiki over all this cuz with my first watch, everything was just making me overwhelmed cuz both my poor babies are going through it. 🫠

But now it cracks me up to see Rick realize the only person who thought Michonne was out of here was him. Cuz she is very much still in this place and not even as Dana anymore but as Michonne Grimes herself. 😬

gif cred: @nat111love

Michonne is clearly frustrated as she takes out these walkers and honestly, it really tracks with her character to be like this right now since killing walkers has always been one of the ways she processes emotions. Season 3 at Woodbury. Season 4 after the prison fell. Season 5 when out with Sasha and Rosita. And in season 9 during restless nights when she couldn’t sleep. So with so much to process after Rick’s note in the getaway boat, it makes sense she’d be going ham on the walkers during her shift. 

And again I declare my client innocent of all claims that she’s being ‘dumb’ or whatever people say for not playing the B role. Is she showing who she is right now? - yes. But she knows that and the thing is...she doesn’t care to hide rn. She’s seen the way this place tries to strip you of who you are. They stripped the strongest man she knows - Rick - of who he is and made him lose his mind to the point that he thought he could just send her away and she’d leave.

So I really think she’s just not having it. She’s over the CRM. This place doesn’t get to make her bury herself thus losing herself - a pain worse than death as Rick would attest.

gif cred: @nat111love

And also she’s allowed to let emotions get the best of her sometimes as she is understandably pissed. The man she loves and trusts most, the man she's sacrificed so much to find, just tried to abruptly send her away for good and basically told her that leaving him behind is the one way to show she loves him. That is a special kind of hurt that could stir up many blinding emotions.

Plus, it’s been what? over a decade of an apocalypse. It's really not crazy that she'd be a pro at taking out walkers by now. Even Eugene is a pro at walker-killing at this point. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Now, yes, the way she's killing them is too A-ish. But idk, the CRM should just be grateful she's doing this to walkers and not soldiers if you ask me lol.

As Michonne stays focused on taking out as many walkers as possible, consignees like Cleo and others stop to take notice and admire Michonne, impressed. And then Rick sorta nods like 'yep that’s Michonne 🙂'...but also 'yep that’s Michonne, not a Dana in sight.😟'

gif cred: @nat111love

Michonne comes out of kill mode to catch her breath, paying no mind to the other consignees' oohs and ahhs, just like Rick when he broke the kill record. And then she looks up and sees Rick and gives him a look that shows she is not going to be playing around with this man.

gif cred: @nat111love

Pearl notes how Michonne said during intake that she was looking for safety in numbers and that helped her make her case. And then she says, “Thing is, she doesn’t look like someone who relies on others for safety.” And one; can I just reiterate that I love that we have a show where Richonne drives every scene of the plot. It’s great. 🤩

Also, I like the irony of this line because Pearl is actually looking at the only man Michonne does look to for safety.

As Pearl stares at Rick, clearly very hesitant about this whole Dana situation, Rick just stays quiet. Pearl walks away and then Rick looks out and sees Michonne is the last one standing and staring Rick down in a way that would have anybody shaking in their boots before she just walks away.

gif cred: @nat111love

Michonne's look said, 'that's right, Rick...

Then I really love the pan up to the 'Grimes 68' on the wall. It implies that the kill record has just been broken and while they have to change the number now, they don’t have to change the last name.

And of course, the Grimes are the ones to set new records up in this place. The only person who could beat Rick’s years-long record is his wife. 

gif cred: @chaoticroad

So then Michonne is walking and she hears Rick say, “Keep walking” and I always smile seeing how she hears that and immediately stops walking lol. It just instantly tells you the energy of how this exchange is about to go.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

Rick stands behind her in his CRM helmet and gear and the visual again feels like a reminder that Michonne found Sergeant Major Grimes but not her Rick just yet.

Rick says, “Ahead and to the right. We can talk.” And Michonne stands there for a moment, clearly fed up. I know she’s not exactly itching to go where Rick tells her after his recent behavior.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

After stopping for a sec, Michonne sorta rolls her eyes before heading to the right to 'talk' - even tho her communication when they're alone won’t require any words.

And the way Rick pauses for a moment as she struts off without even looking at him...I know he’s nervous about this chat. Appreciating her feisty walk and also nervous lol. 😅

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

So then when they finally have some privacy it low key looks like Rick is getting in Michonne's personal space and idk if it’s to be on some lovey timing or some stern ‘you were supposed to go’ timing. I’ll never know because Michonne sets the tone immediately when she rips Rick’s helmet off and throws it. I'm quite here for it tbh. 😊

gif cred: @figmentof

Like I know Michonne is so sick and tired of the CRM, and that helmet covering her man’s face is just another reminder that they have a hold on him. That her Rick is buried under the mask of the CRM.

And the way Michonne ripped off the helmet you can tell she wants to go ham on anyone who is keeping her Rick away from her including Sergeant Major Grimes himself.

She does the helmet rip-off smooth too and it quickly lets Rick know just how upset she is.

The move seems to take Rick very much off guard as he steps back and just breathes and stares at her for a while, knowing Michonne hasn’t had this type of energy with him since like season 3. Again, since he'd been so convinced that sending her away like that was for the best and an act of love, he wasn't thinking about how extremely hurtful it was to her too...But he knows now.

Also, I think because he’s sorta out of practice in remembering his wife does not play he thought maybe he was going to take over in this conversation and tell her how things gotta be but that's not how you roll up on Michonne Grimes.

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

And so instead Rick takes a different approach by trying to explain himself. 

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

Rick shares, “All these years, the only way I wasn’t killed was one man saving my life over and over.” And Michonne looks at him just like 'this better be good.'

Rick says, “The only way you get away is if someone is here making sure.” Then it makes me so sad to hear the vulnerability and defeatedness in his voice as he says, “It’s taken me years to know I can’t go anymore. I asked for help, I didn’t get it.” 😢

That part always gets me because he’s saying he tried to do this himself and then he even tried to get help from others but was ultimately left hanging. Even tho I was like Rick, you did get it, because the one woman who can most help you is here and you’re looking at her right now.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

Rick tries to help Michonne see, “To get away, you need someone on the inside” and then I hear those more tender Richonne tones when Rick says, “I’m that for you.”

It’s hard because you can tell he thinks this is a good thing he’s doing for her but Michonne is understandably looking at him like, 'How can you just decide that without me?' Rick has been so focused on Michonne being his choice that he hasn’t exactly stopped to consider what her choice is in all this. And again, her choice is him too.

Often people who love really hard have a hard time grasping that others can love them just as deeply. So while every choice Rick makes is because his wife is his choice, he’ll have to see that he and their family is Michonne’s choice and she too will do anything for him and them.

Plus, Rick really forgot that he and Michonne are the same which means they aren’t letting anyone choose anything for them including Rick trying to choose when and how Michonne leaves this place. She’s been through way too much to just let him choose that for her.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

So I already thought Rick’s last part of his letter was problematic but then Sergeant Major wants to say it all over again to her face which was just not the move. 🤦🏽‍♀️

He looks at Michonne with his eyes serious and pained as he says, “I said that if you loved me…you’d go.” And eye personally said Rick, let's not say that ever again. One time was already too much. 🙃

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not losing sight of the fact that Rick is saying this from a place of immense trauma and not grasping that he is as valued by Michonne as she is to him so she would never just leave him here just like he would never have just left her here. But still, this is Rick almost trying to put Michonne’s love in question in a manipulative way.

But also the way he says it, it just reminded me that Rick has not been on the receiving end of love for almost a decade so he’s seeming to forget that Richonne’s love means they don’t split up. Throughout TOWL, I think Rick and Michonne both had to get reacquainted with how much the other loves them and is loyal to them.

gif cred: @isisnicole

So then Michonne reminds us all that she always be knowing what to say - and sometimes with no words needed to say it as she gives Rick a very expressive silent reaction. And I like the choice, that I believe I heard Danai was behind, to have Michonne not say anything in the scene. It makes it all the more impactful especially because Richonne really can have full-blown conversations with each other without uttering a word.

And when Rick pulls this line yet again Michonne tilts her head and just smiles looking so pretty and still peeved because she’s like 'of course I love you, you sweet sweet fool.'

In fact, it’s because she loves him so much that she’s even standing here right now. I know for Michonne hearing Rick say this again has to be more salt in the wound because she’s gone through so much in the name of her love for him and their family and so for him to essentially suggest if she really loved him she would have left was just so not it. 😪

gif cred: @perryabbott

The way Michonne responds I feel like a whole lot is swirling through her head. Like I wonder if she’s thinking what I was thinking in this moment which is - Rick, if she loved you, she’d have your baby. If she loved you she’d spend the last eight years so committed to you that no man replaced you in her or your children’s life.

If she loved you, she’d learn that you're alive and sacrifice time with her kids, getting attacked by the CRM, recovering for a year, and being plopped into the Civic Republic's consignment because her husband told her it’s the only way, just to find you again. Since she loves you she’s standing in front of you right now and not halfway to Alexandria.

Rick’s previous relationships saw him being someone who poured more into others than they did to him. And in a way he tried to start doing that with Michonne, thinking it’d be fine if he just poured into and protected her while he’s left out to dry…but she had to remind him they are far too equal in their outpouring of love and commitment for him to not get love and protection back.

gif cred: @nat111love

I love how when Michonne looks at him with that layered smile that says so much, she and Rick proceed to have a whole conversation with just their eyes. Like Michonne smiles, clearly hurt and frustrated, and then Rick stares at her and blinks and whatever she says with her eyes seems to rock Rick. Because then he looks at her and just steps back shaken.

But Michonne actually honors Rick’s wishes here because he said 'If you love me, you’ll go' and she’s like 'welp since I do love you let me go ahead and excuse myself right now and go instead of going off.' And her quietly composed approach and walk-off have Rick really shook to his core. The man looks like he legit wants to puke over having his wife be mad at him and knowing he has to go back to the drawing board to figure out how to get her back home alive.

gif cred: @isisnicole

Michonne has always had such an effect on Rick because just her staying quiet and composed and walking away had Rick doubled over with his eyes wide like he was socked in the stomach or something.

Y’all, this is also further proof that they’re magnets because when they’re off-kilter and walking away from each other like this it has them feeling straight-up ill. 

This was a really well-done scene and Rick really does embody the viral tweet “My wife is mad at me. I hope I die.” because he looks like Michonne being upset with him is a worse pain than chopping off his own hand.

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

It’s interesting seeing Rick and Michonne at the beginning of one of their biggest conflicts. And they truly still feel so married even in the way they approach this conflict. Like yes, they’re at odds but you know neither of them is just giving up on the other. Deep love is still at the foundation of all of this.

So while Michonne doesn’t say anything verbally to Rick in this scene - saving it for another time when she can really let it out - she does have someone she wants to open up to. And that’s her daughter, Judith. 🥲

And as Michonne proceeds to wonder if Rick has nearly become too far gone - she ends up having the exact encounter she needs to be reminded of the bigger 'picture.' 😌🤳

[separatist-apologist]

Separatist-apologist lore beneath the cut

I dropped out of college when I was 19 and when I decided to go back, I had two kids. I was undeclared and I felt old despite still being in my 20s. I had a scholarship which required me to do daytime classes with all of the brand new 18 year olds and I felt wildly out of place. Before that, I'd been staying at home raising my kids while their dad worked and a lot of people thought wanting to return to the workforce was a mistake, so there was this immense pressure to succeed where I'd once failed.

The problem was not knowing what I wanted to do. All I really cared about was history and domestic violence and as far as I knew, there was no good career path that combined those things, and so I signed up for four random classes that had nothing to do with each other. One of them was called Serial Killers in America which was taught by a former police officer. Another was introduction to psychology, taught by a social worker.

I was sitting in the Serial Killer class one morning, way in the back where no one paid me any attention, when the professor (former cop, remember) began telling a story about being called to a house for domestic violence and I remember looking up at her as she said that too often, these things are a "he said, she said," and they're usually both lying.

And it just ignited something angry in my stomach. I was looking for an advisor since I'd been undeclared and I turned that day to the psych professor and asked if she'd fill out my form to be my advisor. As she was, I told her what the other professor said and how much it bothered me and she asked me what I wanted to do. So I told her, and she asked if I'd ever considered social work.

So began six years of perfectionism and the single-minded goal of getting my masters degree and working in the field as a licensed social worker. I remember my first day in orientation at grad school, someone asked if anyone knew where they wanted to be in 5 years. I was the only person who raised their hand. I knew where I wanted to be.

And for the last three years, I got to live that dream. The good, the bad, the horrible- all of it was mine. And today I pack up this office I've worked in for the last three years because its all over. The work was always good and I'm proud of what I've done. I've published papers, I've sat in state-wide commissions, I've talked to legislators, I've presented at conferences and I've trained a new generation of advocates who feel the same passion I do.

It's no secret that people who work in this field are typically survivors themselves. Something about surviving it turns people into advocates, whether they meant to be or not. And often they manage to make it out of the metaphorical burning building, turn around, and decide they need to go back inside to try and get others. The amount of people I've talked to who say, "I want other people to know they're not alone and they can get through this," is numerous. It makes you optimistic, it makes it impossible to ignore the good in humanity even when you're faced with some of the worst people/circumstances you'll ever encounter.

And despite all the petty office politics, a system designed (sometimes purposefully) to make leaving difficult, and state legislators who push back every inch of progress we ever made, I will miss it. The work was always good. I'm proud of the things I did individually for folks, of the amount of times I got to tell someone they did nothing wrong, that they deserved safety and respect.

These three years have been the best and worst of my life, but the work was always good. I will always be in it, will always be standing beside the ghost of my childhood self, offering her a hand and a voice and I think if I accomplished nothing else, at least I did that.

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Oceans of time

One night, Laddie asks David how he became a vampire. The tale that he tells is one of love and betrayal and a hurt he could never quite overcome.

A Dracula A/U

Part 2 Part 3

----------------------------

"How did you become a vampire?"

Laddie laid in his bed, his old stuffed teddybear held tightly in his arms. David looked up from where he was sitting, not responding. The cave was silent. Dwayne, Marko, and Paul had gone out to feed, leaving David with what he called 'baby-sitting duties'. Not that he truly minded it, no. Laddie was - as far as kids go - a good one. He listened, he didn't lie, and he obeyed the rules. Now, however, Laddie had decided not to. Maybe it was because of the warmth of the cave, the summer-heat still caught in its walls. Maybe it was because he had too much sugar that evening, or maybe it was because he was just not tired. No matter the why, David needed to answer, or else the kid might never shut up.

"Why do you ask?"

Laddie shrugged. "I'm just curious."

David couldn't help but grin, shaking his head. "You need to sleep."

"I won't be able to until you tell me. Please, David? Please!"

David sighed, looking at the kid. "Fine. But don't expect a happy story. It isn't."

Still, Laddie smiled. He moved over, laying closer to the wall so there was enough space for David to sit comfortably. "If it gets too sad, Mr. Teddy will cheer you up. He always cheers me up when I'm sad."

"No need," David looked at the stuffed animal - or what was left of it. He supposed the bear was once a light brown colour, but now it was closer to grey. He really had no desire to come close to that thing. "It was a long time ago. There were six of us."

"Who are the other two?"

"Don't interrupt me, or I won't tell you a thing."

Laddie nodded, zipping his mouth close.

July 1897, Santa Carla

"Will you be careful out there?" The young girl asked, sitting next to a phonograph. The song - well, it was hardly that, it was more white noise than music - played quietly. David looked at the girl. Her glasses lay on the table, and just by the way she held her head in her arms, he could tell she was dealing with yet another headache.

"You know I will be. I've got a reason to come back. You wouldn't last a day without me."

A small smile played on the girls lips. "It's not my fault that we can't afford the right glasses."

"Nor is it mine. I'll try and bring some fruit with me today, alright? And if possibke ill try and get some new glasses to try. Maybe we'll be lucky this time. "

"David? Please tell your boys to be careful too - and tell them to come home? I do miss their company."

He sighed, giving his sister a soft kiss on her forehead. What she called home was nothing more than a small kitchen, an even smaller bathroom, and just a single bedroom. There was hardly enough space for the two of them, but somehow, she swore she could make it work for their little makeshift family.

"No need to worry about that, Mia. I'll be back before dark."

With those words, David left the house. The sun was still rising. He knew it would be a long day. His - no matter if you called them friends, gang, crew or something else, it never felt quite right - brothers and he had taken to a life of petty crime. Sure, a couple years back, they had tried to do honest work, working in the factory or the coal mines, but eventually, they all realised that they did shitty work for even shittier pay. So now they stole, gambled a bit here and there. They had a benefactor, a man willing to pay them for their crimes. Steal some papers from the governor, plant some evidence at the pub - whatever Mr. Max demanded, they'd do. He paid well, and that's exactly what they needed. They did what they could to survive, and this definitely helped.

They were good at that, surviving. Quick on their feet, changing plans on the spot, being able to predict outcomes - they were good. They'd managed to stay out of the hands of law enforcement, and the one time they did end up in jail, their good friend Lucinda was quick to break them out. She called it paying bail, but they didn't really care about the technicalities,

"Have you heard? There's a shipwreck down by the beach. If we're quick, we can see if there's some loot." Paul grinned as he showed that mornings newspaper. They'd met up down the harbour. Marko had stolen some bread and shared it with the boys. David sat on one of the crates while Dwayne scanned the crowds. Early mornings meant drunk people stumbling over the docks, trying to make their way home. They were easy targets and often wouldn't even remember what they'd been robbed off.

"What kind of ship?" Marko took the paper, looking at the photograph. "Seems quite big. Could be something." He showed the picture to the others, not bothering with the specifics of the article.

"Won't any survivors come knocking?" Dwayne looked at Paul, who just grinned. "Nope! There were no survivors. That's what they say anyway. Only a dog that ran off, the second the ship stranded."

"We should check it out," David nodded, following Paul to the beach. It wasn't often that a shipwreck ended up on their beach. Ships like these would carry cargo, and possibly something that was worth a fortune.

As promised, there was a shipwreck on the beach. The whole thing was broken apart, as if something unnatural had ripped the wooden boards away from each other. If they hadn't been told that it had been a ship, David was certain they would not have recognised it as such. As they moved through the ship, exploring what was left of the now empty rooms, they came to two conclusions.

One: There was nothing to loot. Two: There were some very strange marks on the doors and walls. As if someone had tried to fight something off.

"There's nothing here," Marko spoke up after they sweeped the place. "We should go, maybe Max has something for us."

With the uneasiness they felt on the ship, none of the boys were too saddened to leave. There was something off with this place, and none of them wanted to find out what it was exactly.

As they met up with Max, outside the hospital, David realised that this was indeed going to be a long day.

"Sorry boys, nothing new today." Max was about to turn around, entering the hospital again, when David spoke up.

"Seriously? It's been six days. We need some fucking money."

"You better watch your tone," the man gave him a stern look, "there many that would kill to work for me."

Knowing this would get them nowhere, they decided to try their luck on the streets. That's how they spent their day, trying to figure out who they could steel from and, most often, succeeding. At the end of the day, they had made three pounds stealing from the rich. It was enough to pay rent for another week and to buy food for the next couple of days. David grinned - Mia would be happy.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're here!" Mia opened the door, noticing that her brother had brought home the others. "I've got so much to tell you!"

"What happened?" Dwayne sat down at the kitchen table, opening a bottle of gin. Marko had grabbed five glasses, while Paul helped Mia to a chair. She was still not wearing her glasses and had in the five steps it took to get from the front door to the kitchen already bumped into something twice.

"Lucinda stepped by today. She's back in town," Mia explained. Lucinda had always been a friend to the boys. They had met a long time ago when she had saved them from a prison sentence. Ever since they had been close, even if she was richer than they could ever dream of being. "She said that a European doctor had arrived and that he's trained in anything to do with the eyes."

"Mi, love, we can't afford new glasses." Paul ran his hand through her hair.

"I know - but that's not the point! She is engaged to him, and she's going to ask him to see if he can do something about my eyes as a favour. Isn't that just great?"

"It sounds too good to be true," Marko said, and Mia noticed his tone immediately. She quieted down a bit.

"You think it's a scam?"

"Dangerous, at least. I wouldn't trust him."

"Lucy also offered to talk to him about maybe getting eye surgery, if that's possible in my case." She said it softly, already guessing how her brothers would react.

"That'd be experimental then, right?" Dwayne looked at her as she nodded.

"Absolutely not!" David slammed his cup down on the table. "You will not get fucking surgery of we already think this whole thing is sketchy in the first place."

Mia sighed. "I know. It would just be nice to also help out, you know? Before I got fired-"

"You were hurt every single day by your boss. Don't worry about it," Paul pulled her close, letting her lean against him.

David looked at his sister. "Sorry, kid." He grabbed the money they'd collected today out of his pocket. "We can afford some food the next couple of days, though."

And with that, the whole conversation was forgotten. Mia and the boys made plans for dinner, and David went off to pay the rent.

1987, Santa Carla

"Where's Mia now?"

Laddie looked at David, who sighed as he lit a cigarette. "She's gone."

"Oh. Why did she want that eye surgery? It sounds scary."

"It is, especially back then, She was nearsighted. She couldn't see for shit. The glasses she had weren't right, and we couldn't afford better ones. She got headaches, so she never wore them. She was always bumping into things," he smiled at the memory, "So, after a while, she began looking into other things that could help restore her sight."

"Could they?"

"God no. Glasses were what she needed. We stole them quite often, but none of them were right for her."

"What happened next?"

"Lucinda stepped by. And then both she and Mia got sick."

August 1897, Santa Carla

"He is so perfect," Lucinda giggled as she poured Mia some tea. They were sitting in the garden of Lucinda's estate. Well, her parents' estate. "Just last night, he said he'd be with me forever. Isn't that romantic?"

"Quite so!" Mia smiled. "When will you get married? Will you get married? You also had an offer from the governors son, did you not?"

"In a fortnight, obviously you and your brothers will have to be there - I simply won't get married without them there. And yes, I did - but honestly, Wolfram is an idiot. He wouldn't know how to open a letter if I didn't instruct him. So, I have decided that Doctor Holmwood was the best match."

"Why? So you can show how much richer you're getting?" Dwayne walked in, a teasing grin on his face. He grabbed a chair and moved to sit at the table.

"Absolutely!" She smiled. "It is weird, though.."

"What is?" Mia reached for her teacup, cursing under her breath as some hot tea spilt over her fingers when she hit the cup too hard. She knew she should have worn her glasses - things would still be fuzzy, but not as much as they were now. But then she had to deal with headaches - and those were worse.

"Ever since I got engaged to him, I have been having nightmares. The strangest dreams, really."

"Aren't you just worried about the wedding?" Mia offered, while Dwayne asked what the dreams were about.

"I'm always sleep walking, all the way to the cemetery. And once there, I'm being haunted and hunted, taunted. It's horrifying. And just yesterday, I had the exact same dream, but this time, some monster grabbed me by the throat and actually bit me."

They were silent for a moment. "When did they start?"

"When we arrived in London, I think. I just hoped they'd stop once we were back home."

"How about you sleep at our place tonight?" Dwayne looked at Lucinda. "Maybe it will stop the nightmares."

"That would be lovely." Lucinda smiled brightly. "I'll go home and grab some stuff, and I'll be there before dinner." She smiled at Mia, taking her hand as she was about to speak up. "I'll make sure to bring some food along, don't worry."

That night, after dinner, Mia and Lucinda went off to bed. They'd listened to the stories the boys told, about running from the cops and getting a new assignment from Max - apparently there was a new Lord in town, and they needed to figure out who he was. The girls stepped into the bed, after making sure that the boys would be alright.

"We'll manage," David looked at Mapia. "Just make sure the two of you get some sleep, alright?"

Mia nodded, and after chatting for a bit, both girls fell asleep quickly. Only a few hojrs later, the boys did the same. The house was quiet. No one moved. No one spoke.

So, they didn't notice that they'd forgotten to lock the window. They didn't notice how it slammed open, a dark figure standing on the windowsill. They didn't notice how that same dark figure moved forward, bending over both girls. They didn't notice that the dark figure only had eyes for Mia, longingly stroking her arm, but deciding to leave her untouched for now. He could always claim her later. Now, it was time for his first conquest. It was time for her to join him.

It wasn't until early morning that Mia awoke. "Luce?" She asked sleepily as she felt a heavy weight on her stomach. She blinked, sitting up. As she moved closer, she couldn't help but scream. The body next to her was ice cold. The throat was ripped open. The whole bed was covered in blood. Lucinda had been killed. Brutally murdered. And she just slept through it, not able to help one of her dearest friends.

"Mia, what -" David pulled his sister away from the bed, holding her tight as she cried, upon seeing the massacre on the sheets. The other boys entered the room just as quickly, immediately moving to see if they could figure out who had entered the room. They needed to know who had done this.

"You're alright, love," David led Mia to the small bathroom, making sure that all the blood was washed off of her body.

"Is she - is she dead?"

David nodded. Mia closed her eyes, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub, trying to even her breathing. "How did I - how could I sleep through that? She - "

"Mia, look at me," David kneeled down so he was at eye level with her. "There was nothing you could have done."

Mia nodded quietly. He knew she didn't believe him, but he'd repeat it over and over until it got through.

The rest of the day was chaos. They had to call the police, Lucinda's family, her fiancé. People came and went. Pictures were taken of the crime scene, and every one of them was questioned. At the end of the day, Mia had no tears left to cry, and the boys felt just the same. That night, the house was quiet, them softly talking about their times with Lucinda. How she helped them out when they got in trouble with the law. How she was the first and only person to ever catch them red-handed - they had tried to pickpocket from her after all, even after she had saved them from jail. She had smiled and just given them some money. She had always been like an older sister to them, taking care of them when needed and always being there for both the good and the bad. She had brought humour, charm, and insights into how to best steal from the rich - and now she was gone.

1987, Santa Carla

"So, was she killed by a vampire?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"That's how he changed her. We just didn't know that at the time. We also didn't know what we would become eventually, or we would have never done what we had done."

"What did you do?"

David shook his head. His cigarette had turned into ashes, and he heard the other boys returning. "I'll tell you tomorrow. You need to go to sleep now."

[pan-magi]

Anime and Manga Comparison (Encore): Amon

I'm back at it once more, and this time it's at the beginning. Not the very beginning, but close enough! This time comparing the first dungeon. I talked before on the specific humor compared to action we see with the slimes. Now, I want to focus on the design of the dungeon itself.

I love the intro dungeon in the manga. It's great. I do appreciate the comedic timing and framing of some Ohtaka's panels. The manga also shows Alibaba's problem-solving skills better. He has the moment in the anime showing he knows Tran and is well read and can lie pretty easily. But convincing a rich petty man that has never done anything by himself isn't saying that much.

Alibaba is able to deduce the proper way to go is the path left unmarked. Not something particularly hard in retrospect. It is a common tactic to leave some kind of marker where you've been to avoid confusion He is smart to break out of the in-the-box thinking he and Aladdin were stuck in. They thought the markings were something left by the dungeon itself as clues to progress. A good ol' dungeon puzzle. It wasn't though. It was merely something left by former adventurers to not screw themselves over and get lost. Taking a minute to go "wait a sec" isn't that easy, especially in a high stake location like being stuck in a dungeon.

I love the parts in the manga that didn't make it into the anime. It is great, truly.

But goddamn is it Amon generic as fuck.

Spikes in a death pit? Ancient language that you should know or else? Bland stone corridors and caves with multiple paths you have to travel through? Slimes as the common dungeon creature?

It's so painfully generic. I can't even, lmao.

I get the impression that Ohtaka did not know what she was going for in depth with the dungeons. I don't mean that as lack of experience or planning ahead, but more-so as just wanting to get her series off the ground so she went with common tropes she knew her readers would expect and probably enjoy. A safe bet to work her story out.

The rest of the dungeons once she gets around to them have so much character. The second you're in Zagan you can tell: this belongs to an earth djinn. Baal as the first dungeon in SnB feels more standard but has more stuff going for it. I love the creature designs inside a lot of Sin's conquered dungeons.

Belial is an absolute mindfuck and I love it so much. It's a psychological barrage of confronting your trauma and biases because Belial more than anyone else has to make sure he has a King's Candidate that has their shit together. Then it fails miserably. It has to be my favorite dungeon in the entire series.

Amon has nothing on any of that.

The anime in contrast?

From the outset, in a way in which your ass will be fried if you don't pay attention, the lesson is clear: this belongs to a fire djinn. Be careful or you are dead. 10,000 have gone in and very few had come out. It's great. The dungeon had such a powerful glow up in the anime. 10/10 will recommend for certain death.

A couple other things that don't really fit into the theme of dungeon design. In the manga, Aladdin sits around and waits because the time dilation is different for people entering the dungeon. Something that isn't really brought up in the anime is that people travel to and from dungeons separately and at different rates. Anime Aladdin could have been there for a while. I doubt it though as kid would have drowned and been burned alive of Alibaba didn't grab him and bolt out of there.

The bigger more subtle change is how Amon is summoned.

Manga: Story based on Aladdin and the Lamp. Cannot not have the imagery of Aladdin touching the lamp (or its stand-in in this case).

Anime: It's the moment when Aladdin chooses Alibaba as king. The magi has made his choice, and Amon decides that is a definitive time to come out. That isn't something that is clear on first watch. Odd that the room would suddenly light up when Aladdin helps Alibaba up. It is easy to miss the significance with not being introduced to the magi system until afterward. On rewatch it felt like a sledgehammer to me on how blatant they made it. When the anime hits you with the symbolism, it goes all out.

About wraps it up this time. Next, I'll probably try to tackle the beautiful mess that is Zagan's arc changes because BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS.

Mostly how it is surprisingly well done but so many people come out looking dumber in the anime. omg.

[deedala]

🎇 Happy New Year Friends!! 🎇

From the Diary of Virginia Woolf: January 2, 1931: Here are my resolutions for the next 3 months; the next lap of the year. To have none. Not to be tied. To be free & kindly with myself, not goading it to parties: to sit rather privately reading in the studio. Sometimes to read, sometimes not to read. To go out yes—but stay at home in spite of being asked. As for clothes, to buy good ones.

For today's return to WTW, i thought it might be fun to celebrate the ways in which we survive and manage to find peace and happiness in our one precious life here on Earth. And so...

-----------------------------------

✨W e e k l y 🌟 T a g 🌟 W e d n e s d a y✨

Name: Deanna 🌱

Location: oHIo🌽

Astrological Sign: Scorpio 🦂

What's a TV show or movie you plan to re-watch this year? obvi i'm in a constant state of re-watching shameless but otherwise right now im thinking maybe some bob's burgers, some futurama, austenland...

Whats a book or fic you will probably re-read this year? ooohh you know...the usual suspects tbh: cooperative gameplay, itqd, faffy, love is a ballfield, none the wiser, the menagerie... AND...*IF* DA4 is gonna actually come out soon I'll probably re-read my fav stories from Tevinter Nights!!!

What is a song you will likely continue to play on repeat? uuhh right now its still chappell roan's whole album and hozier's unreal unearth. im sorry for cheating on my own question and basically naming like 30 songs lol

What's a tasty treat you look forward to eating more of this year? i dont think i managed to eat enough chocolate chip cookies last year, i should eat more. also i haven't had an andes mint in forever??? need some of those STAT. oh my god i totally missed out on girl scout cookies last year too!!!

What's a time sink that you will continue to sink time into this year? scrolling tumblr ofc!!!

Did you pick up any habits in 2023 that you plan to continue? not really?? maybe kind of reblogging my own posts more and trying not to feel bad about it??

What's your toxic trait? leaving petty little thoughts in my friends DMs while they're sleeping 😛

What is a coping mechanism you will continue to indulge in this year? ✨disassociation✨

Tell me something you like about how you look! my skin has been pretty nice lately, good job skin. (do you guys remember that old vine of the broken toy that would just say "sssskkiiiiinnnn" when squeezed?? i remember lolol)

Give me at least three adjectives describing things you like about yourself. loyal, generous, thoughtful

----------------------------------- Now for tagging nuggets: additionally I want to thank @mybrainismelted and @jrooc for helping me with this post!! @michellemisfit @mmmichyyy @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @juliakayyy @gardenerian @heymrspatel @heymacy @gallawitchxx @metalheadmickey @mickeysgaymom @thisdivorce @transmickey @tanktopgallavich @lingy910y @suchagallabitch @shippergirl121fic @the-rat-wins @thepupperino @energievie @callivich @lee-ow @purplemagpie @sleepyfacetoughguy @softmick @vintagelacerosette @sam-loves-seb @crossmydna @creepkinginc @suzy-queued @rereadanon @iansw0rld @milkmaidovich @sickness-health-all-that-shit @palepinkgoat @auds-and-evens @ardent-fox 💖

[pblovesjelly]

Boo me all you want but Mouthwashing was not good.

The writer(s) of Mouthwashing handled Anya just as poorly as Curly handled her situation.

Whereas Curly’s neglect of Anya, her situation and choosing to be a friend to Jimmy (the same man who threatens Curly outright before the crash) over Anya /the crews well-being , the writing neglects to give Anya a voice or even character unlike everyone and everything else in the story; including the damn mascot.

Like most horror, women are easily made into victims but rarely do some of these writers have the depth to properly handle what being a victim means/carries. I get far more insight how the writers feel about women themselves than the message they want to share about the women they write.

Why should you deserve a pat on a back for writing the same horror tropes women are put in and create a story that feels like someone’s poor understand of women’s studies and easily missed the purpose of why such studies exists beyond to tell people “men… rape… rape…bad…”

The audience is given insight to everyone else on who they are, how they feel, and what they are like except Anya. I can’t even give them credit for breaking the fourth wall when the fourth wall has a giant Anya shaped hole that feels so jarring. Why can’t we know things she likes or how she feels about her own abusers? The fact that the creators missed out on an opportunity to use environmental story telling for her is so frustrating.

The entire time we see her she’s just a victim. She is in survivor mode before anyone else is and even the one moment it appears we get insight of her feeling and thoughts… its to talk about abuse. I couldn’t even think if she had asked Jimmy to do give Curly the medicine out of pettiness, imagined kindness, indifference?? We have nothing to work with beyond her being bad at her job. And even then her credentials only come into question by Jimmy, her abuser.

[anohai]

A big issue with Seyka’s character arc in Burning Shores...

*clicks tongue* Fuck it. 

I debated over writing this out and posting it. Decided I might as well for not only my personal catharsis, but because it's been over 3 weeks since Burning Shores came out, I have had the time to mull things over more, talk with some friendly people who came to the some of the same conclusions I did, and really analyze everything. I’ve seen a sprinkle of other people expressing something similar to what I am about to cover, but I felt this deserved its own topic of conversation. 

And forewarn, there be spoilers. 

.

.

.

Of course, we're back to Seyka. I promise I'm not trying to pick on her. She actually has loads of potential, and I don't think she's a bad character. It's just she deserved better than what was shown in her overall character arc.

Last time, I wrote about the Seyloy romance, and why it is difficult (for some more than others) to feel good about it. This critique isn't going to be about that again in case you are wondering if I'm simply yelling louder in the echo chamber, but there will be some correlation to it. The more I played the DLC, the more I realized that while I still wasn’t sold on the romance, it wasn’t the root of why something felt off with Seyka’s story to me. So once the adrenaline of having a new shiny DLC to run around in wore off and was able to properly take my time soaking things in, this was the conclusion I came to: 

The biggest issue with Seyka's entire character arc is that they tried way too hard to make her near-exile situation comparable to Aloy's when it very, very much is not. 

In any capacity whatsoever. As to why? 

Seyka tells us at one point that she loves her tribe, her community, and has always felt she's had a place in it until recently. The reason she's in any hot water at all when we meet her is because she ran off and stole a diviner's focus. Seyka is a marine, not a diviner so we know this is considered a huge taboo among the Quen. They are a sovereign tribe with a classicist system where the people are allowed to know only what is deemed necessary based on their role and/or rank. Should rules be broken, we are left to assume based on our conversations with Alva and even interactions with the Ceo & Overseer Bohai in HFW that the royal family and those in charge are imposing & unforgiving enough that normally there are severe consequences. 

Luckily for Seyka, this isn't the case. 

The first time we follow her back to Fleet's End, we're met with those who are referred to as Compliance Officers who are wanting a nasty word or two with our new friend. We are brought to Admiral Gerrit, the real person in charge, and he is....actually quite understanding of Seyka's actions. He gives her a quick verbal slap on the wrist but proceeds to give her full permission to continue her search for her sister and their other missing people with the stolen focus on hand. He's humble enough to tell Aloy in a private conversation afterwards if you choose to talk to him that their faction of the expedition has been spread thin enough as it is and Seyka has already proven herself to be a valuable and skilled member. Enough so that he admits he’s become increasingly reliant on her regardless of only being a petty officer in title. This assessment is fair and kind. It’s more than I would have expected out of someone with such a high position among the Quen of all tribes. 

Seyka is given a huge safety net thanks to this swell guy. The compliance offers themselves can't do anything, and from what we see in the side quests, they are seemingly nothing more than a few school-yard bullies without any real authority to their position. They are annoying & petty at worst. All bark, no bite. As far as the rest of the Quen go, most individuals we come across seem either pretty cool or neutral with Seyka. It's not until later that we get any indication  there are some who are calling for her exile afterall, but we only know this because we hear it from Seyka instead of seeing it happen. People are talking, as they will, and she's furious about it. 

But really....the threat still isn't there. It never was. At least not to the extent I think we are supposed to believe it was. 

All things considered, Seyka was placed in a very privileged, advantageous position amongst those in her tribe. Along with the lack of visible threat, there is never any real tension shown minus a few grumblings expressed in the background when we first arrive in Fleet’s End. And despite how Aloy perceives her, Seyka isn’t exactly a black sheep here. Especially when you consider she never had any personal turmoil with the rest of her tribe until not long before the events of Burning Shores and happily tells you herself she has always felt like she’s belonged. She's pretty much allowed to do what she wants without much pushback, and I found myself rolling my eyes during the final scene where she says she's unsure of where she stands with her tribe. Seyka is not an outcast, and I, for one, was never convinced or afraid she was at real risk of becoming one. 

Which makes this all the more confusing when Aloy says she's an inspiration. An outcast in all but name. I'm willing to chalk some of this up to hormones talking and Aloy's growing infatuation taking a choke hold as most first time crushes will do. Except the problem here is that the writing clearly felt like we were meant to connect Seyka's strife with Aloy's on some level; carry the same sympathy for her that Aloy expresses, and see more of where their similarities hold up. 

And yet...

I felt more for Kotallo who was kicked from his initial clan because his leader saw him as a threat and then later, might as well have gotten demoted for losing an arm because his tribe sees him as near useless for it..

And Zo who lives among the most pacifist, peace-loving tribe and was admonished when she not only went to fight back in the Red Raids, but wanted to do something about the blight and their broken Land Gods..

And Talanah who had to fight against blatant sexism that many carry in her tribe and an actual attempt for her murder all because she wanted to move up in the Lodge and make things better..

And Aloy, herself, who was outcast at birth for simply being born without a mother. And spent her entire life with only the man who raised her for company. In one small valley. For 19 years. Because there was no choice for her. 

But somehow, we're supposed to see Seyka the same way Aloy does? Like no one she's ever met??

I...Really? 

I'm sorry, but I don't buy this rebel fighter, near-outcast ploy here. And saying she's unlike anyone Aloy has ever met feels like a slap in the face to not only Aloy, herself, but to some of her companions we have come to know & love in the first two games. Most of whom I'd argue have been through more hell because of their own tribes long before they even met her. Seyka's plight is trivial, inconsequential in comparison and no where near as crippling as Aloy's was or her friends. It's honestly frustrating that it feels suggested it is. 

What's worse is that this plotline is used as one big narrative tool to bring Seyka and Aloy closer on standing grounds outside of ability and personality. This essentially means Seyka and her entire character arc were written for the sole purpose of the romance. A character built for Aloy to quickly fall head over heels for and add progress in her own arc. I wrote last time that I can see this growth as an opportunity to explore romance further for Aloy with a pre-established character or two in H3. If I’m right & that happens to be the heart-wrenching, long-term, master plan Guerilla is going for, they have my applause (and my stress). Great for Aloy. In my opinion though, being created to be a love interest (lasting or not) for the main hero is a bit unfair to Seyka. 

She's clever, she's badass, and she isn't afraid to take action without permission and help where she can. Next to Aloy, however, she stands as a self-reflection of her. A spotless mirror as to who Aloy could have been had she grown up under a community as well. I would love to see Seyka break out on her own as an individual character that isn't in the context of romance if ever given the opportunity. 

Heck, if Guerilla wanted to in the eventuality they will be finished with Aloy's story, the Quen have easy potential to have an entire spinoff game revolved around them. We have a whole side quest in BS where a small group of Quen want to sneak focuses to non-diviners for the sake of knowing what's usually kept hidden from them. Hello, is that the beginnings of a rebellion, I see? And the world of Horizon has yet to be explored in places outside of the North American continent. Other tribes, different machines, more Old World locations, etc. Loads of potential everywhere. And guess what!? We practically have a budding main character on a silver platter: Seyka! She obviously has big enough main character energy. Might as well utilize it outside of a DLC if you can, and I don't mean for the next game. 

It's hard say for sure whether or not Seyka will remain a DLC character. No matter what fans say, the ending was left ambiguous. Not only because of the romance but also where Seyka's future lies. She knows about Nemesis, yet she tells Aloy she's unsure of what she wants to do after her faction reunites with the other half in San Francisco, whether it's going home or something else. I would think if Guerilla had solid plans to include her in H3 while they were developing Burning Shores, they would have written the ending where she either offers to stay behind in Legacy’s Landfall for a time like Alva does or Aloy asks for her aid to help fight against Nemesis. Something to make it more clear she's here to stay. We don't though, so as far as anyone outside of Guerilla is currently aware, Seyka is not guaranteed to play a big part in H3 if any at all. And remember, DLCs are meant to be an extension of the main game and are primarily optional. They are typically not a requirement for playing the next big installment as far as understanding the story goes. 

If she does show up in H3, the only thing I dread is the idea of her coming up and saying she's basically denounced her tribe because she still feels out of place and doesn't think she can belong afterall. Not to mention she has her sister, and after what happened with Kina, it would be a really bad look if she just decided to permanently leave her behind when her tribe isn't or never was trying that hard to push her away in the first place. And Seyka said it herself. She’s “not some weak-kneed sailor who abandons ship when the seas get rough,” and I’d like to believe she means it. It'd be one thing if she actually is forced into exile, but after the events of the DLC, she has too good of a repertoire for that to happen now. At least while she's outside of Quen homelands. 

(Btw, don't even get me started on Aloy's convo with Kina over "remember Seyka's been through a lot too" as if we didn't just rescue this poor girl from A CULT and nearly groomed into becoming this centuries-old dude's image of his dead wife. Like honey, I know you're in love but have some thought & tact here.) 

That’s about it. I will reiterate that as a character, I do actually like Seyka. As a self-imposed outcast? No. As Aloy’s love interest? That…needs some serious work. But as an individual who loves her tribe but will fight for what she believes in even if it means going against the royal, societal grain? Absolutely! And special kudos to Kylie Liya Page for bringing her to life. 

Also, if you want to read a review that summarizes everything I just ranted about better than I could manage, along with everything good and not-so-great when it comes to the DLC, I recommend this essay here by ariseis. 

If you made it to the end of this long rant, thanks for reading~ 

[lunar1an]

while i tend to be uncharitable towards pale (seeing a story you really like go directions you don't want that you think actively hurt it while watching people uncritically praise every new development and meme character for three years tends to make you jaded!) i do think some people get a little silly about dissing a web serial they haven't read so like. to just put it down here.

i do think early pale is objectively one of wildbow's best works. like. the rotating three perspectives are used extremely well. the characters read as convincing and likable children, the cast is excellent, especially the starting Others. it's an alternate, lighter look at a dark setting and it works. the fact that the mystery isn't the premise so much as figuring out the problem of "how do we handle that some of these Others want to get rid of us". or later "how do we properly confront these people without being too cruel because society's already done that to them".

that's like. arcs 1-3. arcs 4-7 are also, i think, good, even if it's ultimately a diversion and some of the simplified messaging around Other treatment is a bit eh. alexander and bristow have a lot of character and while they're more straightforward pure antagonists it's fun to watch them be petty. the trio interacting with traditional practitioners is fun.

8-10 is like. pretty good. but some of the cracks start to show with arcs 9-10 dragging on a bit (it has melissa though so thats good). the new cast members are fun and interesting and tie into the conspirator plot. 9.9 is excellent if a hard read.

11-13 is like. where the dragging on elements intensify. a lot of Diversions happen that kind of get in the way of the trio Solving The Mystery(tm) and while a lot of those diversions are chocked down to one conspirator's work it feels more like it takes screentime away from the main plot and core cast which you're Really invested in. 12.z and about half of arc 13's chapters including the Break interludes are really good though, bringing a kind of like. pact-y vibe and atmosphere to the story which was sorely missed.

after arc 13 though its like. at this point it's less three rotating perspectives that each lay their eyes on the main plot at specific points with an intent to highlight certain aspects of the story (avery focused on connections, lucy focused directly on the mystery, verona focused on the Others). and more three separate web serial protagonists with their own plotlines loosely connected. and things get bloated. and start escalating beyond reason (70+ practitioners attacking kennet???). and the Practitioner = evil colonialist oppressor stuff gets silly. but i think like. at least the story still cohered. musser still continued the trend of jerk practitioners who abuse the system even if he's just a TwitchPlaysPractitioner stream that does things arbitrarily like a ghost or a dog. the founding sequence towards the end of arc 17 was cool even if i was a bit disappointed with how kennet found turned out.

i think if you were really invested in the trio and their story you could probably stop sometime around there and be satisfied. not a good or a clean ending, and you probably were better off stopping at arc 13, but it works.

but then pale keeps going and does a complete paradigm shift to make the literal Red Menace Revolutionary the antagonist. and has to justify the also purportedly revolutionary kennet opposing that antagonist and shit just goes sideways. and by now you start running into the more ridiculous stuff like "avery compares goblins to human minorities" (yes. i know the intent of her statement. it was still silly).

like. it just stopped cohering or being consistent or anything. plots and characters get introduced and discarded just as quickly and have little to no impact despite how hyped up they are initially. it's not good, and it actively hurts the material that came before it (retroactively making charles worse, for example).

even the setting stuff is like. early pale had some silly things like a technomancer being able to set up a worldwide magic jstor or this one glamour-drowned dude being wayyy too powerful with glamour for someone who wasn't even a fae or practitioner. but it was like. you could excuse or justify or ignore it if it didn't agree with you because at least the rest of pale was good. but then every Path turned into a whimsical video game level (among many other less ignorable things) and pale stopped being good.

and like. man. even despite that i still think about the carmine alcazar chapters and the story of a Beast who lived in a world that had long left her behind. and the trio in the back of a truck practicing runes with their magic hat. pale was good. it was good! but then it had to keep going.

[trikis-turntables]

Out of morbid curiosity i went to look at the new story in Dislyte with Sachiko and holy shit. Which fucken hack wrote this? I'm not spoiler tagging this cause really, it's not worth the effort.

I kind of???????Man.

It felt like someone read the original story and wrote a petty rewrite that blatantly shows their biases for and against certain characters.

Like the biggest issue was defo the Gaius plot twist he got actually done dirty?? Idk i feel like its a problem with the isekai/transmigration genre as a whole but you don't innovate by subverting subversions. You just end up going back to stereotypes. OG!Gaius was a subversion of the whole "Stoic Highly Decorated Man in Position of Power that doesn't look like he belongs" and then he proves time and time again that he's approachable and loves and cares for people so deeply that he'd maintain an image of himself (his display of medals--that garners negative comments about his character being prideful, mind you) just on the rare occasion that it could provide some comfort to the people he's helping. He lives eVERYDAY, trying to live up to Hannah's memory. This is a man that misses burnt peach pie because his wife made it for him. In the new storyline..he's just a transcendent obsessed, power hungry bastard. None of the character nuance.

And then Abigail and Alexa. I hate that they're not allowed to just be morally grey characters. New update makes them "acceptably" morally grey which IMO just flattens their characters. "Yes, a female character can be morally grey if they are your allies." Like fuck right off lmao. What's that??? The central intrigue of Abigail's personality is her ruthlessness contrasted with her softness for the few (few) people she actually cares about. It's literally her song. Roses in the snow.

And ugh. I hate the new "human"-ist moral of the Unknown Story. The fun part of the original Dislyte story was that people *dont know* what to think about Esper powers. Like Miracles are Dangerous, that's been established. Miramons are unknown beings that tend to cause mayhem and destruction. But on the espers' side? We run the gamut of characters seeing their powers as a source of good-- that because they gained powers they can better help and protect others (Tang Xuan, Li Ling, Ahmed, Bardon etc); to characters that hate their transformation because it turned them into monsters or changed their appearance in such a way to cause them great discomfort and body dysphoria (Nu Xi, Brewster, Heng Yue) and so many more that are ambivalent or have other things to worry about. And the central interest of their humanity *was* that contrast of perspectives. Shadow Decree was interesting as a unit because their mission statement was "Esper Acceptance" and that can mean both "we should understand how espers works so we should research it" to "live and let live" to "Esper Supremacy". Like remember when the story used to show the dichotomy of the glitz and glam of the Esper Union against the backdrop that many common folk and non powerful espers discriminated against Espers? That's the subversion. To flatten the message to "we must save the humans!!" and "esperification unilaterally corrupts and makes people go power hungry" is a 12 year old's idea of writing and nuance because it /ignores/ that people can have different perspectives over the same thing.

And haaaah. Like if anything that dislyte is good at, its in making characters that at least a few people will care about even if theyre mentioned shortly. That's just how strong the personalities are in this game. But it's kind of telling that I've seen no fanart or writing of Sachiko at all. Berenice, for how much I did not vibe with her or care about her in the story is beloved by even more people than I can count. (Also just petty sidenote: when a 'soft' female character gets 'corrupted' by power, and also the trope of female character having to be "saved" by ...getting mcfucken murdered by the masc main character)

But I think it's just sad that they cared so little for the new story that they couldn't even come up with a name for the Miracle. Unknown Miracle? You didn't even want to know your own story, man.

[twig-tea]

Final Thoughts on To Be Continued

Ok, I know I was loudly still mad at this show last week in @respectthepetty's notes, who was very kind (and even encouraging) about it. @happypotato48 talked me down a bit by suggesting there was more in the novel that might still come, and he was right! This week we got an explanation that helped me find the through-thread that was missing between the flashbacks and the start of the show, so I can let that go. I was pretty satisfied with that part of this week's finale overall, and was really glad that they added that connecting piece for me.

Short non-spoilery version of where I landed: I was skeptical it was going to land the core storyline, but for me it did. I liked it in the end, but there are a number of hurdles to enjoying this show so I wouldn't recommend this without caveats (mostly related to pacing).

With all of that being said, it's one of the better pulps this year so far, and worth a watch if you love mutual pining, don't mind slow episodes, and enjoy when a show lets its characters make mistakes. I'm glad I watched it.

For anyone curious about this show, here's where this show worked for me, and where it didn't. Spoilers under the cut!

What I Liked

I really enjoyed Ji getting to be petty to Achi at the beginning of the series, and the way the show made clear that Ji knew exactly how conflicted he was about Achi showing up in his life again.

I love yearning, and the yearning in this series was top-notch. The way Ji could not help himself when it came to accepting Achi's overtures, and the way Achi used his overtures to say over and over again "I know you; I know us; I am willing to put in effort to prove I mean it" was delicious.

I did like the flashbacks and how they were doled out through the series to add context and explain what was happening. The timing of the flashbacks in the story was well done and gave us the info we needed when we needed it.

I liked how clear consent was in this show, and how consent alone did not result in a perfect scenario, especially as kids. I did appreciate how the main conflict from the past was essentially teenage boys did not know how to communicate and blew everything out of proportion/did not understand how to think about things from the others' perspective.

And from this last episode, I liked how the show let us see that years of reflection helped Achi realize what things must have felt like from Ji's perspective, and once he had confirmation that Ji was devastated when he left, it makes sense that he would be able to meet up with Ji again with both confidence and contrition in order to get the reconciliation he wants. I also really liked the contrast in the sex scenes between their first time when they didn't kiss for most of the scene and their first time as boyfriends where they can't seem to stop kissing.

Finally, I love competence, and I really enjoyed getting to see Ji be a competent surgeon and Achi be good at his job managing fan expectations of his personal life. Achi handled the relationship reveal with confidence knowing he'd be able to manage the fallout, and his manager was supportive once he was sure Achi actually had a plan.

What I Didn't Like

I seriously considered dropping this show after episode 4 because for the first little while, every other episode really dragged. It wasn't the order in which the story was doled out that was the issue, but there was so much unnecessary footage and scenes lingered too long within each episode. In short, there were moments when this show draaaaaaagged. So in terms of who it works/doesn't work for, having patience for really slow pacing within an episode is critical. It does pick up a bit after ep4, but never fully gets over this problem.

Egregiously in a show where some episodes felt too long, the show also didn't use the time it had to fully close off all the threads it started and some of the plots felt rushed. There was a redemption arc for Ji's father that felt incomplete/sudden to me (not to say people can't snap out of a 10-year depression but I wasn't really given any chance to feel much about this because we didn't really sit with him or his kids after it happened); the side characters' romance felt like it barely got off the ground (they honestly had the time, they just didn't use it), and Poppy's romance and career trajectory also barely got any time (this one is more forgivable as a third and het couple).

Beyond the multiple pacing issues, the acting was also shaky, and while the sex scenes are well staged and cut to hide this, they were a little awkward together during some of the moments of physical intimacy.

For my taste, I would have wanted to see more of the characters working on things and changing their behaviour; a lot of the push-pull in the middle of the series felt circular rather than progressive. Some of it was necessary: Achi did demonstrate he will stick around no matter how hard Ji makes it this time, and Ji did show that he can open up and be vulnerable with Achi eventually, and trust him when there are external threats. But I would have liked to have seen more of the parts that led to the change in them happen. They also spend a lot of time falling into old habits when they started hanging out together again, which was charming and realistic, but I would have loved to see more incorporation of their new lives. Achi basically takes a break from stardom to woo Ji, so we don't get a real sense of what their relationship will be like except in the finale which is quite brief.

I already gave my high-level summary above the fold: TL; DR I'm glad I watched but not everyone will enjoy this one.

[gnomescarfcomics]

Rings of Power: Episode 6 - Udun

Rewatch mini review. Chaotic and out of order.

This episode really benefits from having essentially just one plotline.

The Southlands plot may have been my least favorite overall this season, at least when it came to the villagers themselves. Adar and Arondir were the strong characters that held it together up to this point (honorable mention to Waldreg). But the slow burn of their collective story pays off here.

On the surface, it's a pretty standard underdog battle with some nice buildup and a rather predictable last minute save from a cavalry charge. A mini Helm's Deep in a lot of ways. But it works as a nice vessel for the Southlands and Numenor plots to come together. And the individual beats of the battle are unique because the villagers have to get creative with their small numbers. The part where they trap the orcs and ambush them feels like a nice nod to the Scouring of the Shire in the book, which had similar circumstances.

The detail of the two elves, Adar and Arondir, planting seeds before the battle is such a nice touch. Both sides are fighting for a home. One side has chosen darkness, despair, hate, and selfishness. While the other has chosen light, hope, love, and compassion.

Adar may have good intentions in his own twisted way, but his cruelty and one-track mind keep him and the orcs rooted in evil. He's only bringing his "children" further into harms way and making the rest of Middle-earth see them as nothing but slaves and creatures that must be wiped out, which is what he wanted to escape from.

Arondir started the series essentially as a somewhat reluctant jailer of the people of the Southlands. But he's chosen to focus on the good in them, no matter how much may go wrong. He acknowledges the darkness but holds onto the light, while Adar has given up on the light completely and pretends darkness is an acceptable alternate.

The big reveal of the villagers realizing they were killing their own people is such a perfect representation of this season's themes. Everyone is fighting the darkness within themselves and finding unnecessary conflict with people that should be friends and allies. And this is the ultimate result of when those inner struggles fail and the petty differences escalate beyond repair.

I'm not a fan of fake out deaths in general. They have to be done very well and used sparingly for them to work for me. So having two for Bronwyn an episode apart feels really weak, especially considering she won't even be in the second season. That wasn't the original plan, but still…

The scenes with Galadriel, Adar, and Sauron are some of the best in the entire season. They explore the moral ugliness of slaughtering orcs and Tolkien's own unease with the fact that he essentially created a "damned" race. Delving into this was such a great idea and executed very well. The orcs are kept pitiable without ignoring their evil. I'll really miss Joseph Mawle as Adar. He was one of the highlights of this season. I especially love the subtleties of his acting when he's reunited with Sauron. Does he actually recognize him and just refuses to acknowledge it? So much is accomplished in just a few moments.

And just how redeemable is Sauron? Knowing who he is makes every interaction so fun to watch and interesting. His scene sitting beside Galadriel is one of the best. Their relationship was such a surprising aspect of the series for me, but it worked so well. On paper it sounds like such a lame idea. Yet with the right amount of thought and care, along with a couple of skilled actors, they created a significant connection between characters that holds the themes of the season together. While it may have gone further in some places than I would have liked, you can at least see the roots of every choice being inspired by bits and pieces from Tolkien's writings.

The creation of Mt. Doom may not be 100% practically sound, but its combination of dark magic and soulless machinery feel thematically right for the story. Just as Galadriel surviving getting engulfed in fire and smoke might not completely make sense. It's a stunning visual that works perfectly for her arc.

(And let's not pretend Frodo and Sam wouldn't have been instantly suffocated and cooked alive at Mt. Doom).

[bellamyroselia]

I've recently been thinking of how some of the missing Olympian gods could be adapted for future Kid Icarus games and in Poseidon's case he could be expanded upon, so I decided to dump some of my abridged thoughts about them here. Turned out I still had lot of things to say, but in general these thoughts are about what I think these gods could do and why it's possible, along with what kind of relationships they could have with the already existing KI-cast. Considering the subject matter, expect to see mythology-typical mind-fuckery and the words "motive failure" a lot - not only are these people extremely unhinged, in many myths the gods take the "fuck around and find out" approach way too literally.

To see this on its entirety, go here.

Starting with Hestia, she has a bad case of motive failure. Like what are you supposed to do with her? You can count her major mythological appearances on one hand, and even in those she doesn’t do much. It does also make imagining what kind of relationships she could have with the existing cast hard; none of Hestia's relationships are all that developed to begin with, but the ones she has with her siblings are those that get most focus… So that only really leaves Hades, Poseidon and maybe Viridi? Not much to work with, and I can’t really imagine those relationships being anything else but positive. Sure, they may disagree of some things, but overall they get along with each other. The most interesting thing about Hestia’s possible relationships is that I could actually see Dark Pit liking her due to her nice and unproblematic nature. It does leave plot potential pretty minimal though, but I could see writers using some legends about Vestal virgins as bases for plotlines where Hestia shows up as a supporting side character. The problem with those is that they tend to be pretty specific, so who knows how well they might actually work. “Arx tarpeia Capitoli proxima” makes a good moral but not much of a plotline if you divorce it from... Well, Tarpeia herself. Another possibility is that Pit’s sent to defend a place that had its sacred flame extinguished and he has to defeat the culprit behind that.

Artemis also suffers from motive failure. She may be a bringer of sudden death and disease along with being a serious contender for the title of the most wrathful Olympian, but… She’s so petty with it? Much of it is very small-scaled all things considered. Most things she does don’t have long-term consequences, and the few that do are quickly hijacked by other deities whose actions have bigger impacts to the myths in question. Like yeah, Artemis may have told Agamemnon to kill his daughter if he wants to set sails to Troy, but who cares when Apollo is inflicting the Greeks with a plague and Athena is ignoring the pleads of Trojan women. This being said, I could see her being used as an unfought antagonist for a chapter or two depending on what she does (something akin to her sending the Calydonian boar to terrorize Calydon could work), though that story ends the moment the threat is dealt with. I however wouldn’t cross out the possibility of her appearing as an ally out, though I’m not sure what she could offer to Pit and co. if that was the case as she’s not really a god of anything that could help Pit on his journey. And I honestly don’t see her having particularly positive relationships with anyone in the already existing cast - she may not dislike any of them, but she doesn’t really like them either. She’s a true neutral in that sense, which could possibly earn her Dark Pit’s respect. How long that’s going to last is a completely different matter though, it may be small-scaled put she’s still very wrath-happy person.

Have some more motive failure with Hermes, though this time it has everything to do with him being a rather hard character to utilize in a world without Zeus - because of the rating he’s not allowed to be horndog making more of himself and since Zeus isn’t there asking him to do things, it leaves him with next to nothing to do. He’s extremely loyal to Zeus and this loyalty is exclusive to him; while Hermes clearly loves the rest of his family, he wouldn’t do half of the things he does for his father for them… And boy, has he done lot of things for his father. He’s a big daddy’s boy and daddy simply can't be replaced because Hermes just doesn’t love many people in the same unconditional way he loves his father - this means he’d have to be an independent figure, since the only person he’d be a lackey for is out of the picture. Now Hermes does have some interesting figures connected to him, like his son Autolycus (shapeshifting thief and the maternal grandfather of both Jason and Odysseus, whose name literally means “the wolf itself”) and the goddess of persuasion Peitho who’s described as his wife on occasion, but I’m not sure how any of that could be utilized. Autolycus possibly could've had some potential as a recurring character if he wasn’t dead by old age, but who knows, maybe he did get deified and therefore became an immortal in the world of Kid Icarus. I mean, Medusa is just a sea daemon and a dead one of that in the myths so why not let Autolycus to become a god. But back to Hermes, what I think of his possible relationships with already existing characters? They’re likely positive overall and I can see him appreciating both Pits for their spunk, but I think that the most potential comes from different minor antagonists, like Thanatos, Phosphora and Pandora. In case of the last one, Hermes was the one who gave Pandora her personality so there's that. Into the two former ones, Hermes is a psychopomp which means that he guided spirits to afterlife and he was everyone’s preferred psychopomp. Only person who wasn’t happy to see him in this duty was Sisyphus (Ares freed Thanatos after he had been captured by Sisyphus and brought them both back to Underworld → Sisyphus sweet talks Persephone into letting him go for a short period of time → Sisyphus refuses to return and Thanatos refuses to try bringing him back, so Hermes drags him to Underworld), so one could argue that Hermes is better at doing Thanatos’ job than he is - the fact that the Sisyphus-myth is one of Thanatos’ only major mythological appearances doesn’t exactly help him in this situation. One could get some funny dialogue out of that. With Phosphora, her Japanese name is derived from Electra, who’s the younger sister of Hermes’ mother Maia. For some additional hilarity, Maia and Electra are both elder sisters of Merope, Sisyphus’ wife. Everything about the possibility of having Hermes, Phosphora and Thanatos interact smells like a comedy goldmine to me. But let’s be real, isn’t it weird that Hermes has never been a merchant in any KI-game? It’s so goddamn absurd considering how he’s the god of commerce! You’d think he would’ve been the first choice for that, but apparently not! That’s a one big missed opportunity!

Hera too has a case of motive failure, but the reasons behind it are pretty simple. First is the same as with Hermes, which is that Hera doesn’t get to do much in a world without Zeus; can't be angry about your husband being unfaithful to you when your husband isn’t around. The second reason is equally simple, it being that Hera likes Athena. In fact she probably loves Athena more than she loves Ares, Hephaestus and Eileithyia (aka Lucina) combined (her love for Athena and Hebe is probably around the equal level and if it’s in someone’s favor, it’s Hebe’s), so toss away all the possibilities of her being a villainous force. It wouldn’t really make sense considering how Palutena is mostly Athena-inspired character. The two goddesses are pretty much partners in crime and by crime I literally mean “Let’s try to overthrow Zeus with Poseidon and Apollo” and “Let’s be the only deities to celebrate Troy’s destruction” levels of things, having each others backs whenever something happens so I think it would be better to just let Palutena have a good relationship with her. With Pit things probably would get a tad more confusing depending on some other factors, but on a vacuum it’s hard to say anything about them. Regardless of those I think she and Dark Pit would have a pretty rocky relationship, as Hera along with her favorite stepdaughter and Aphrodite were some of the biggest menaces to society when Zeus was still in the picture… All roads may not lead to Rome, but many do lead to a scorned goddess, a nosey goddess or to an easily angered goddess.

[daz4i]

ohh if you do a character design analysis, i'd love to read one on atsushi and the removal of his beloved (to me) black stripe. could just be laziness but it's always been very strange to me

oooooo yeah i think the removal is out of "it would be a pain to add this to every frame he's in" D: same as the chain on chuuya's hat 😔

but as a general design analysis! atsushi actually has a lot going on!

lore wise, we know from some manga omake that 1 his hair looks like this bc he got a haircut from the kids in the orphanage 2 his clothes are a collection of stuff from the ada, each member got him a different piece

first off that's adorable. he's so cute. second i think it goes to show how affected he is by those around him - everything you can see on him besides his actual face was someone else's choice. i don't think it's entirely out of wanting to please others, more like being grateful to those who help him and are there for him, as well as not having enough of an established identity to make these choices on his own

atsushi's whole driving force for a good chunk of the story is to help others, so he can earn the right to live. and i think this is a good reflection of it! he is very dependent on the people in his life to confirm even the most basic of things (that he's allowed to live), and so it makes sense it'll be reflected in his design c: even if it ends up being mismatched or a mess of a haircut, he'll keep it this way, because that's physical proof that someone else gave him this permission, on him all the time

in addition to that, his design is mainly white with some splashes of black. that is ofc to oppose akutagawa's design, with the whole ying yang thing they've got going on

and ofc! to mirror the tiger! that's also why he has the black stripe in his hair, i think. black stripes on white fur hehe. as well as mirroring the smidge of white in akutagawa's hair imo! really hammer in the ying yang thing :P

it's interesting how his eyes are yellow and purple, usually a mix but sometimes with one overtaking the other. i think i read once that they're yellow when atsushi's more... protective and ig "good"? and purple when he's being vindictive or petty, but i could be misremembering/the thing i read might've been inaccurate, so pls take this with a grain of salt 🙏

still, whether or not that's true, i think this mix of colors is very interesting. to get into interpretation (which, tbf, this whole post is just that lol) it might be related to the time of twilight, governed by the agency? a connection between night and day, darkness and light. in a way, atsushi himself embodies that, by being the key to finding the book that every group in the story is looking for, that is the connecting force between everyone in the world due to its reality altering powers, but i like the idea that it's a subtle way of saying atsushi definitely belongs in the agency, and always has.

that's all i have now! i encourage others to offer their own takes, or cover anything i might've missed in the reblogs 🫡

[rosietrace]

Seeing Her

(Central) Characters Featured: Juvia Yuyi Espejo, Sumeragi Yuuta

↳ { Juvia belongs to @/jasdiary }

Others mentioned/featured: ‘Rei-Rei’, Deuce Spade

↳ { ‘Rei-Rei’ also belongs to @/jasdiary }

Pairing(Platonic): Juvia & Yuuta, ‘Rei-Rei’ & Yuuta || Pairing: Juvia Espejo & Deuce Spade

Event: Valentine's Day 2024 💌

↳ Type: Non-requested Oneshot! 「 N/A 」

Synopsis: Sometimes, certain wounds don't heal. And that every scar holds its own story; Even the ones that aren't so visible.

Warning(s): Angst 💃, Yuuta lore crumbs, Yuuta reliving his childhood through Juvia but in an angsty way, Juvia just being a nice concerned bestie, potentially ooc, implied JuviDeu

〈 NOTICE: The character of ‘Rei-Rei’ is an unreleased character of @/Jasdiary, and therefore, details of them will be kept vague until their release!! 〉

[ Apologies for any out of character moments ]

[ Reblogs > Likes ]

†•°•══════ஓ๑「❀」๑ஓ══════•°•†

Yuuta had been acting strange.

Perhaps it was odd for Juvia to make that kind of assumption, but truth be told, in all her months of having Sumeragi Yuuta as a roommate — he'd never been so… Distant.

To be fair, they weren't that kind of duo. They weren't the kind of duo to be like brother and sister, the kind with a bond that was so inseparable, it potentially transcended universes.

While it rang true that Yuuta did care about Juvia a great deal, she never really saw it within each other to try and strengthen whatever bond they had.

To both of them — Yuuta especially — the dynamic they had was good enough. They got along well, and while disagreements were made, they were quick to resolve. They weren't close but they weren't strangers, either.

Which was why Juvia was so on the fence about talking to Yuuta about his current behavior! It was just so weird!

Yuuta — haughty, petty, greedy Yuuta — acting emotionally constipated and distant out of the blue? If you'd have told Juvia something along those lines, she'd be laughing in your face!

On a particular hour of one fateful day, Juvia was trying to get her mind off of whatever ‘thinky thoughts’ she'd come to conclusions about.

While Trein was busy giving her and… Everyone else, a lecture, Juvia was busy contemplating about whether or not she should actually talk to Yuuta about his sudden burst of emotional distance.

Should I? Juvia asked herself a question she didn't even know the answer to. I mean, I'm worried about him and he usually doesn't act like this, but- It isn't really my business to ask..

And what if he just judges me?? Or what if he ignores me? I mean, this is Yuuta we're talking about, he'll probably just look at me weirdly and tell me it's none of my busine-

“Miss Espejo.”

At the sudden sound of Trein’s voice, Juvia jolted out of her train of thought, awkwardly looking up at the old — much more knowledgeable — professor.

In reply, Trein arched a concerned, yet strict brow. “Is there something you'd like to add to the lecture, Miss Espejo?..”

“I…” Juvia trailed away from whatever excuse came to mind, instead flashing a good little smile at Train and showing off her braces in the process. “N-No, Professor! Nothing at all!..”

In spite of the obvious fact that Juvia wasn't paying attention to his lecture, Trein let it slide; He always had a soft spot for Juvia and he let that fact slip when he left her off the hook.

Unfortunately for Juvia’s valiant efforts in trying to focus on the lecture, they were met with little success — only ending with Juvia back in her own bubble of thoughts, blissfully ignoring some comment Ace made about favoritism.

•❀°─────────°❀•

“I just don't get what's up with him lately…”

“Ehh, I can't blame you,” Deuce walked beside her, his head tilting slightly to the side. “Yuuta's always been hard to read. Other than when money is involved.”

It was one of those rare moments where Juvia and Deuce could just… Hang out. Together. Without Ace being a bother.

Sure, it was enjoyable and she liked the company Deuce offered, but she couldn't help but feel bad that she kept bringing Yuuta into the conversation.

“Yeah, but that's the thing,” Juvia’s shoulders sagged, her back leaning lazily against the couch. “It feels like he's getting harder and harder to get a read on, nowadays..”

Deuce’s lips turned into a thin line, releasing a small hum. “How come?”

“Well-” Did she hesitate? Of course, she did! But Juvia had this weird, unshakable feeling in her chest that she could trust Deuce about something like this.

“He always wakes up early to do Crowley's errands, but lately he's been waking up much earlier than usual…” Juvia’s hesitation became more prevalent the longer she went on, but she needed someone to talk to about it, and Deuce was right there. “Skipping breakfast, staying up late… His routine's been getting really ‘rinse and repeat’, y'know?”

Deuce held her gaze for a moment, the look in his eyes gentle and understanding. “Ah… Do you… Think you know why he's been acting like that, lately?”

The only way she could respond to that was to shake her head. She didn't. She would've asked, but Juvia knew how well that would end — with how stubborn Yuuta could be.

Deuce bit his tongue, looking away from Juvia and trying to think of anything to say that could help her.

She huffed, her head hanging slightly. “I just- Sorry, Deuce,” she gave him an apologetic frown. “I know I'm probably being obnoxious about bringing Yuuta up the entire time, and I really should-”

“N-No! No…” Deuce interrupted as abruptly as he could. While it wasn't deliberate, his hand found its way to Juvia’s shoulder. “You… Y-You don't need to apologize, Juvia.”

“You were just speaking what's on your mind. And… You're just showing your concern for Yuuta, a-and you shouldn't see that as something to feel bad about!”

Before she could even fathom the idea of interrupting, Deuce took her hands in his, looking straight into her eyes with an intensity that almost startled her.

“Whatever anyone says about you— Be it annoying, or whiney, or just downright obnoxious? They're wrong! Dead wrong!” Deuce exclaimed, his voice only a pitch lower from outright yelling the words out. “You aren't annoying, you aren't any of those things!”

“You’re kind, emotional, funny, and so compassionate for the people you care about that I can't help but admire you even more for it.”

Deuce heaved several breaths. All that exclaiming of sentences must've tired his voice out a little, Juvia figured.

“You… Are an amazing person, Juvia. Remember that.” Deuce said between long and heavy breaths. “And you shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling rightfully concerned for Yuuta. I may not know him as well as you do, but I know that you care about him. And I think that's all that matters.”

Juvia stared at him for a long while, taking his words into a quiet minute of consideration.

She shouldn't have felt bad about worrying about Yuuta. They weren't close, but at the end of the day, they were roommates even if they didn't ask to be; And as Yuuta's roommate, Juvia would do anything to ensure she and him didn't have sour relations with one another.

Maybe she wasn't the fastest of thinkers, but Juvia’s had this idea in mind since she started noticing Yuuta's behavior.

She'd get scolded for it, maybe, but it wasn't like she'd be experiencing an extremely petty Yuuta for the first time, either.

And so, her plan was set in motion — ready to take the storm by tomorrow.

She took Deuce's hand in hers, a gentle smile gracing her features that it almost got Deuce to stop breathing, then and there.

“Thanks, Deuce.”

•❀°─────────°❀•

Yuuta's going to kill me for this…

Juvia felt nervous just from walking into the botanical gardens. It was already bad enough after she accidentally stepped on Leona's tail, once upon a time.

But it felt even worse because she knew that Yuuta was lurking around, being a gardener doing regular gardener things!

It was like entering the belly of the beast, for crying out loud!!

She kept her movements quiet, her footsteps especially. It was a known fact among the NRC student body that interrupting Yuuta during his ‘gardening hours’ was the closest thing to a death sentence.

Very few were let off the hook for such a crime. If ever.

Actually- Wait. I don't think Yuuta's ever made an exception. Just thinking about it made Juvia even more scared than she had any right to be.

But that still didn't stop her from entering the botanical gardens, avoiding any places Leona could frequent — and finally finding Yuuta.

He was, at first glance, in pure bliss. Seeing him look so peaceful almost made Juvia forget why she even came in the first place.

No, she shook her head, taking several steps towards him with words ready to flood out of her mouth. I have to do this.

“Hey- Yuuta?”

“Oh, Juvia,” there it was: Sumeragi Yuuta's winning smile that was probably ingrained in Crowley's mind every other day. “What brings you here? You know better than to interru-”

“What's been going on, Yuuta?”

He blinked. Several times, Yuuta blinked his eyes, a sudden stiffness visible in the way he presented himself. Juvia may or may not start to regret this plan but she wanted nothing more than for Yuuta to just tell her what was going on with him recently.

“... Sorry?” Yuuta laughed a humorless chortle. Juvia noticed him taking a slight step back.

“Sorry- Juvie, but I don't know what you mean.”

She crossed her arms, lips pursing nervously. “I’m pretty sure you do. You need to tell me what's been up with you lately.”

“I told you already, I'm fine.”

“No, you said you didn't know what I meant. There's something going on, Yuuta, and I feel like I should know.”

“Juvia, this isn't any of your business-”

“I feel like it is, Yuuta!” That's when Juvia finally threw anything she had to say out of the window. “What, is it because of me?? Am I the reason you're being so distant???”

Yuuta's mouth gaped open. “What? Juvia, I-”

“Yuuta, please!” Word vomit. Just- A flurry of words rushed out of her mouth that she didn't know if she could stop. “Am I the reason?? Have I been bothering you- Am I bothering you?”

“Because if it is, you know better than to just keep me in the dark about it! I don't care what you think of me, Yuuta, I just want to know what the hell is up with your behavior!”

She breathed in and out, but that concern seemed to transition into frustration that he still wasn't cooperating. “You've been so distant recently! You barely even talk to me anymore, let alone acknowledge my presence!”

Juvia took one big step towards Yuuta, holding him by his upper arms. “Yuuta, please,” she pleaded with him, even if she was scared of what he'd say. “Just tell me…”

Yuuta stood there, stunned with his head hung low. His lips parted, the words he'd been avoiding to tell her finally spilling out from its cup.

“There was a girl,” — he said with a softness to his voice that felt uncanny — “before I came here, I knew a girl. We've been friends since forever, and… I only stopped seeing her during my second year of middle school.”

Juvia said nothing, cautiously letting him go and giving Yuuta permission to continue. “Her name… I liked to call her ‘Rei-Rei’, a lot. I used it more than I did her real name.”

“Rei-Rei was… She was this burst of energy that was always hard to properly describe. She was witty, funny, and so, so unafraid.”

He looked down at the vines of a plant he'd been watering until now. “... She used to be. I don't know, now.”

“I fucked up with Rei-Rei, Juvia. I made some stupid mistakes, and in the process, I lost her.”

Juvia didn't understand a thing. She knew the story Yuuta was trying to tell her, but she didn't understand why she was being told something so… Personal.

It irritated her, in a way. But irritation faded into heartbreak at the way Yuuta's voice broke when he said he ‘lost’ this girl.

Then he looked back at her, her heart aching at the level of nostalgia in his eyes when he did. A nostalgic look that Juvia couldn't properly find a grasp on.

Yuuta went closer to her, holding the side of her face with one hand, the other one falling to his side.

He smiled, that same look of nostalgia still on his face, even as his voice broke another time.

“... Sometimes I see her, too much of her, in you.”

†•°•══════ஓ๑✬๑ஓ══════•°•†

Taglist

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Written for

@jasdiary

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🥥

@starry-night-rose || @authoruio || @nem0-nee || @fumikomiyasaki || @sakuramidnight15

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「 Etteilla ♢」 (+ Others)

@geminiiviolets || @twsted-princess || @hallowed-delights / @terrovaniadorm || @mystery-skulls-ghost || @abyss-wonderer || @twistedsongstressofstarz / @absolutelyobsessedkiya

@cecilebutcher

[jellyfishdoodler]

Three years ago yesterday, my friend took his own life and I still miss him almost every day. I hope he would like this little piece.

I also wrote something under the cut- mostly just kinda rambling about him but its more just for me.

Take care of yourselves out there and I beg of you, if you are struggling, please reach out to somebody. Because if you leave then you will be so dearly missed by more people than you know.

You are loved, you are cared for, you matter so somebody.

Take care 💛

I think about you a lot. 

But the things that come to mind are mostly about the video games you used to play with me.

You adored the giant mushrooms in minecraft. We explored far lands and deep caves together. You always killed the mobs for me because I was scared of dying even though we had Keep Inventory on. We would have long strip mining sessions and talk about how we were doing. Tell jokes and stories from our lives or just quietly enjoy each other's company. You always got so excited to see any of the in-game critters. You would have loved the cherry blossoms they added.

You always picked dark green in Among Us but always changed your hat for silly situations. Once you thought I was smart for going back and killing you while you were behind the Admin table, but I was just panicking. We laughed about it in the lobby after I lost. I tried looking for screenshots but I think they got lost. But we'd always run around the boxes while we waited.

You loved to wear the cute outfits in Animal Crossing. I gave you the pretty umbrella and it became your favorite item. We gathered on my island like it was a party to catch shooting stars and spin our umbrellas in unison in between the showers. I remember you lighting up like the sun when you got the New Horizons themed Switch for a really good price because it was in a small local game shop everyone overlooked. 

You enjoyed playing Grounded in early access. Telling me how decorating your base was your favorite part even though you couldn't sit in the little grassblade chairs. There's been a major update with story and more items added. It's also multiplayer now... 

I would give almost anything in the world to be able to play with you again, Gydeon.

I think about you a lot.

You were deeply protective and loved your friends with your whole chest every day. Even when it was damaging to you.

We would talk privately outside the server we met in. Saying how so many of them were in the wrong for so much of the drama they caused and that what they were doing was not okay. But they were our friends. We held each other's hands while walking on eggshells together. Trying to settle their emotions and each other's when we had nothing left to give. 

I still remember your bright laugh. I remember your sleepy mumbles not wanting to leave the group call when it got late in your timezone. I remember you being bored out of your mind while you waited in your dad's car. I remember you getting furious over the actions of someone and losing your cool. I remember you being so excited when you figured out and came out as Pansexual. You decorated all your avatars with Pan flag stickers and were so giddy to find out that part of yourself. I remember you joking about your depression. I remember you being down low and I remember how we would go online and play together to escape for a while.

I think about you a lot. 

Finger snapping has become a stim for me because you taught me that the sound comes from when your finger thumps against your palm. 

Whenever I need to feel brave I think about you standing up for what was right even though you got backlash for it. 

You had so much courage and pride but the thing you inspired in me most was to choose kindness above all else. No matter what. Its easy to be rude and angry and violent. It takes a strong spine and head to be able to let petty shit go and to choose to remain soft and gentle in spite of everything.

I think about you a lot. 

Its been 3 years and I still hold some guilt in my heart for what happened. I don't think it will ever go away and I almost don't want it to, but I've worked hard to make it bearable. Your memory still weighs heavily in my chest when I think about you, but it's more like a comfortable weighted blanket rather than an unrelenting mountain trying to swallow me whole.

You were an incredible young man and I'm one of the luckiest people in the world to say I was able to meet you. Even if the time spent with you was far, far too short. 

You were funny. You were smart. You were the kindest, sweetest person I have ever had the honor to get to know. 

You were one of my close friends and I miss you dearly, Gydeon. I love you, buddy.

[creetchure]

I’m new here. What’s wrong with JayRoy. Aren’t they buddies? Genuine question.

Hi hello! Preliminary disclaimer: you ship what you want, its none of my business. Also i dont know how new you are so if it feels like im overexplaining im sorry

Now im gonna get into the reason why most longterm comic book fans who dont stick to the batfamily usually dislike ja/roy.

First, lets look at why this ship exists at all. It stems from the comic book red hood and the outlaws (2011), where Jason, Roy, and Kory are all on a team together. Ignoring the fact that a lot of the New52 has been retconned since, though Roy and Jason being friends was still canon as of red hood and the outlaws 2016, that lineup originally didnt make a lot of sense. Pre-crisis (before the first DC reboot in 1985), Jason was a 12/13 at the time where the Titans were all somewhere between 18 and 20. He did hang out with them a few times, but wasnt in any way childhood friends with Roy or any of them. Very much a kid hanginh out with his big brothers friends. Post-crisis, that was almost entirely retconned, making roy and jasons interractions very minimal before rhato2011, where theyre suddenly bffs.

Second, it kind of does a huge disservice to Roys character. Bear in mind that while ive read a lot of Roy comics, it was a while back, so some details might get lost in the sauce. Mostly, he would not fucking do that lmao. The pillars in his life have always been Donna Troy, Dick Grayson, and Lian Harper, his daughter. Before n52, he just. Didnt give much of a shit about Jason Todd. They also retconned his history of addiction to have something to do with Jasons death, which, in my opinion, takes away from the real reason it happened, and his relationship with Ollie. On top of that, a petty nitpick I have is that theres no way in hell Roy would get close to someone who threatened his sister at gunpoint.

In RHATO, it honestly kind of feels like Roys just there to be Jasons best friend. (Side note: jason DOES have a childhood best friend. Outlaw Eddie Bloomberg,,,,,,my missed opportunity,,,,,)

In conclusion, Ja/roy isnt like. A problematic ship. If you want to read about it, good for you. Its just kind of very obviously written by people who dont care about Roy as a character, and potentially only skimmed the wiki article to get the gist of his story.