#i know its not healthy but i’m so tempted to do it

[charlotteharlatan]

Do you ever think about what would have happened if Mary Hodges (formerly Mary Loquacious) hadn’t interrupted Crowley and Aziraphale’s “intimate moment”?

Because I do. I think about it a lot.

First off, the way that this shot is set up is perfect. Mary - Mary who had a key role in the whole “Antichrist shuffle” fiasco, and who is a walking reminder of the approaching apocalypse that will separate Aziraphale and Crowley - is literally coming between them. The show is full of these beautifully simple, yet easy-to-miss moments that only last a few frames.

Now, on its surface, this part of the scene mostly plays as humorous because Crowley and Aziraphale are sexless-by-default, non-human entities who just happen to come across to most humans as a very aesthetic queer couple. So naturally, Mary makes the same assumption as every other human that so much as glances in their direction, and isn’t that a laugh?

Except that…she’s not actually wrong about it being an intimate moment. Not just in the physical sense, although I think this is the closest we see them physically get in the whole first season (not counting being literally inside each other’s corporations, I suppose).

But it’s intimate in the emotional sense too, because Crowley is worried and stressed about having lost the Antichrist, and now on top of everything else he’s got Aziraphale calling him “nice” and poking at some very old wounds (if he’s so “nice” then why did he Fall?). And Crowley is also probably *frightened* - they’re inside a former Satanic convent that kept regular contact with not just Crowley himself, but also Hastur, and probably other demons too. For all Crowley knows, someone from his side could still be lurking about; they could overhear and get them both in big trouble.

And as if all that weren’t enough, I don’t think I’m imagining a healthy dose of frustration with Aziraphale in the mix either. Just a few minutes prior, the angel essentially tempted Crowley into miracling the paint stain out of his coat, and then broke their rules by saying “thank you” for it. Aziraphale has spent at least the last few centuries sending him some very mixed signals and we can see that Crowley is done with them dancing around each other. That game was more or less fine before, they had time, all the time in the world. But now, in just a few days, all the time in the world will be ENDING. And yet here’s Aziraphale, playing the same game as always, acting like nothing between them has changed, even though they both know better.

So yeah, it all comes to a head in that moment, and Crowley (sort of understandably) loses it a bit. He won’t actually hurt Aziraphale and they both know that, but he has to get across to the angel SOMEHOW that he’s experiencing some Big Feelings. And he doesn’t have a whole lot of options as to how to do that. He’s too worked up to communicate effectively. So he goes with the wall slam. This causes an emotionally charged situation which we’re primed to think will have an emotional payoff - the camera pulls in close, a dramatic transition, drawing us in to the tension of the moment right along with Crowley and Aziraphale.

And then there’s Aziraphale, who…doesn’t defend himself at all. Aziraphale, who is kind but far from defenseless, who used to guard the gate of Eden with a flaming sword, who was supposed to fight in a platoon of angels in the final battle. He’s no pushover, and yet he lets himself get literally pushed over. It doesn’t even seem to occur to him to stop Crowley, not even as he’s wrinkling his precious coat.

And maybe this is just my read of this scene, but Aziraphale’s reaction to Crowley coming into his personal space is interesting in and of itself. He doesn’t act as if this is the first instance of Crowley being that close to him - and it is CLOSE. Their lips are centimeters apart. Their noses are touching.

And one might well say that all of it happens so fast that Aziraphale is caught off guard and freezes up, but as so many have already pointed out about this scene, just after Mary interrupts he looks…blatantly longing, and then more than a bit put out.

And after Crowley lets him go, he casually fixes his clothes and goes straight back to bickering. Which may be partially a defense mechanism, because they don’t have time to talk about what just happened, there clearly won’t be any emotional resolution right now. But really, wouldn’t “you go too fast for me” Aziraphale be more rattled if that were truly the first time they had crossed that physical boundary and shared space like this? He looks affected, certainly, but quickly shakes it off.

And, to take it one step further: Aziraphale knows Crowley. He knows what words are likely to set him off. He has an established pattern of having Crowley do things for him, based on Aziraphale’s own prompting (see also: wordlessly asking Crowley to help Hamlet become a hit). Aziraphale does as much tempting to get Crowley to do “nice” things as Crowley does to get him to do “naughty” things. All of which is to say, Aziraphale may have actually been baiting Crowley here, but the bait is just a little too effective, and Aziraphale isn’t fully prepared for the intensity of the response he gets. But there’s a strong case to be made that by calling the demon “nice,” he’s looking to get a specific reaction out of Crowley. Again, not the healthiest form of communication, but it’s what they have in this context, because honesty would be too dangerous.

Which brings me back to my point: it IS an intimate moment, in more ways than Mary could have possibly realized, and what if she hadn’t walked in on them? How would Crowley have finished his sentence that got cut off, and how would Aziraphale have responded to it, to Crowley’s outburst of emotion, or to their proximity?

Maybe he would have gently and politely pushed Crowley away - but to me, something about his expression and body language says he wouldn’t have. Because Aziraphale is tired of dancing around this too, actually, and in the heat of the moment, he may just have closed the distance. Especially if they’ve had “intimate moments” before this one.

And between you and me, I think they did, and I think it was after Crowley saved Aziraphale and his books during the Blitz. It’s a solid explanation for the increased tension between them in the holy water scene.

Anyway. This meta has been sitting in my drafts since before the first trailer came out, S2 is only nine days away, and I’m clearly very normal about all of this.

[satoruly]

no matter what you say or what you do

the sweet normalcy right after a routine encounter. an implicit confession the two of you may not be ready to address.

tags&warnings. MDNI, drabble, implied fwb, suggestive, hints of sub!satoru bc it's what he deserves.

psa. i was so tempted to make this a pinning long shot, yall let me know what u think! mdni banner by @/cafekitsune

“when i’m alone i’d rather be with you.”

You washed your hands while he rambled on and on as his heartbeat settled down back to its normal rhythm. He had cemented himself in the middle of the bed, staying put right where you had rolled off him as he caught his breath. The puffs leaving his lips were a reminder of the breathy whimpers he let out when he was close.

The thought made you shudder, a small smirk on your face as you recalled your previous endeavours. His voice saturated with cheeriness was so unlike his desperate pleas — please, I need to be inside you, please — and needy moans. Not that you were complaining. You loved listening to him talk. The juxtaposition was funny though. The duality of this man only made him more lovable.

He was still talking even when you came back, rambling about his adventures with Shoko and Suguru while you were locked in the library finishing a paper. The rising and falling of his chest now even, it was a no-brainer for you to lay your head right on top of him, letting his arm wrap itself around your shoulders and pull you closer.

His skin was warm against your cheek, and though you preferred to be the one embracing him, being able to be up close enough to hear the thumping of his heart going up in speed was always worth it.

“And then Suguru had to buy me a coffee because he lost the bet!” He all but giggled, either happy at his friend’s misery or happy to have gotten a triple caramel frappe with extra whipped cream and sprinkles. You could never know.

“It was about time you won one of those.” You teased, chuckling as he made a sound of complaint followed by a lazy yawn. He pulled you closer and naturally, you let your leg rest over his abdomen.

He had changed into the pair of briefs you had tossed at him after cleaning him up, kissing his nose before heading to the bathroom to fix yourself up.

It had become a bit of a routine by now. After a stressful day, night or whichever excuse any of you could find, the two of you would get together to participate in what you branded as a ‘healthy coping mechanism’. One that 9 out of 10 orthodontists would recommend, but would be discredited by any decent therapist that gathered how the lines between platonic and the antonym of platonic were starting to blur.

“You’re always so mean to me.” He whined, nuzzling his cheek on top of your head as you chuckled, fingers tracing indistinguishable patterns on the planes of your shoulder blades. He sucked in a breath before mumbling an argument in his favour, seeing as you had found his statement anything but serious. “Like, you edged me eight times tonight.”

“Because you like it!”

“It’s still mean!”

Touche. It wasn’t the best defence he could’ve come up with but your laugh was contagious. It made him forget about his cheeks, now redder than ever, and indulge in your warmth against him.

If it was up to him, he would stay like this all day.

“You're a bad stress reliever.”

Letting his hand roam down your spine as his words kissed your ears, he hooked his pointer finger around the band of your underwear, pulling on the elastic and letting go, making you yelp in surprise.

He giggled at your reaction. Also at his own antics. No matter how many times he did it, you were always caught by surprise. He was sneaky at all times. When you weren’t expecting it, the prickling of the cloth against your skin, but also when you were expecting him to do something.

Still, though you shivered in response, a poorly hidden mischievous grin always grazed your lips in return

“You wouldn’t survive a day without me.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he sighed in utter bliss. With you next to him, your skin on his skin. He liked to think that if it were up to you, you’d choose to stay like this too. “I wouldn’t.”

© all works belong to satoruly

[adrienneleclerc]

OBSESSED

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Hispanic/Latina Plus Size! Reader

Summary: Y/N has been dating Henry Cavill for a few weeks and everything was going fine with their relationship until she found out that his ex is Ana de Armas.

Warning: I think this turned out a little more comical than I wanted to but it was fun to write.

A/N: Obviously his dating history is made up, this is inspired by Obsessed by Olivia Rodrigo (I definitely prefer GUTS over SOUR, its more my vibe, not a stan though) ANYWAY, as a plus sized Latina who struggles with her body image and has tons of insecurities, i will be projecting. Let me know if you want more plus sized Y/Ns in the future

When Y/N was younger, she always had the dream of walking the red carpet like Salma Hayek. Though she wasn’t a singer or an actress, she couldn’t believe her dream is coming true as she walks alongside Henry Cavill, her super handsome actor boyfriend. They met on the set of the ministry of ungentlemanly warfare, Y/N was the guest of Eiza Gonzalez, Henry confused her as one of the wardrobe designers, Y/N explained who she was, and they hit it off. They were invited to the premiere of an action movie. She had on a smoky blue dress with a slit up to the middle of her left thigh and a corset bodice, absolutely beautiful. Henry and Y/N were posing for photos and Henry leaned down to whisper in her ear.

“You look ravishing, darling.” Henry whispered and kissed her temple when he pulled away. After a few more pictures, they entered the area, Henry began to talk to some people he knew and that’s when Y/N bumped into someone.

“Ay que boba soy, im so sorry.” Y/N told the Woman she bumped into but couldn’t see her face.

“No se preocupe, está bien.” The woman said, she turned to face Y/N and Y/N was in shock.

“No way, Ana de Armas de verdad lo siento mucho, no me estaba fijando.” Y/N said,

“Toda está bien, de verdad, me encanta su vestido.” Ana said, gesturing to Y/N’s dress. The twos were talking until…

“Ready to go in, love?” Henry said, putting his arm around Y/N. “Ana, how are you?” Henry asked the Cuban woman.

“Henry, I didn’t know you came with someone, she’s stunning. It was nice seeing you again, guapo, un placer conocerla, querida.” Ana said goodbye with a kiss on the cheek as she went inside. Henry and Y/N stayed back.

“How do you two know each other? I don’t think you guys made a movie together, right?” Y/N asked, curious how the British man knew the Cuban actress.

“Well, love, um, Ana and I dated…for a while.” Henry said. Y/N’s eyes widened.

“What?” Y/N questioned. So many questions were going through her head. Why did they break up? Was it jealousy? Is that why Henry chose her to date? He wouldn’t get jealous dating Y/N because no one else would want to date the fat girl? Henry’s voice pulled her away from her thoughts.

“Let’s go in and watch the movie, yeah?” Henry asked, leading Y/N in the theater to watch the movie but Y/N couldn’t pay attention. She couldn’t help but compare herself to Ana de Armas, like Ana was basically perfect! Ana’s hair looks so healthy, her amber eyes were just beautiful, her skin was flawless, and then there’s her, her hair is frizzy no matter how she styles it (wavy hair problems), there’s nothing special about her eyes, and no amount of makeup or skincare would give her that airbrushed look. Why is Henry going out with Y/N? That is what she keeps asking herself.

When the movie was over, Henry and Y/N went back to his house to unwind.

“You staying the night, darling?” Henry asked, hanging up his coat.

“Yeah, Fortachón, I’m staying.” Y/N said, sitting on his couch. “I didn’t know you dated Ana.”

“Yeah, it was a long time ago.” Henry said.

“If you guys never had any movies together, how did you meet?” Y/N asked. She was curious about his past relationship.

“My love, I don’t think we should be talking about this.” Henry commented.

“Fine, I’ll drop it.” Y/N said.

“Good.” Henry said. “Now let’s get you out of this dress because I’m tempted to see what’s underneath.” Henry grinned.

And he did just that. However, when Henry was asleep, Y/N was wide awake, looking at Ana’s instagram. She is so perfect! Not too short, not too tall, Ana had an hourglass figure unlike herself. Did Ana slept in the same bed as Henry, same side as Y/N, she bet Ana had those sexy silk pajamas unlike her, opting for her Macy’s pajamas set. She googled Henry and Ana together and their size difference was PERFECT, Henry and Ana looked like Hercules and Meg, Y/N, however, saw herself as Merryweather from Sleeping Beauty.

“Why do I do this to myself?” Y/N mumbled, her hands covering her face. She decided to watch Overdrive, which is one of Ana de Armas’s movie and she was gorgeous, but Ana was definitely prettier in person. Y/N fell asleep watching one of her interviews on YouTube, turns out Ana and Henry are the same sign.

Henry woke up and found Y/N already awake, stalking Ana’s Instagram.

“Darling, what are you doing?” Henry asked,

“Nothing.” Y/N said, quickly exiting out of the app.

“That didn’t look like nothing, why are you looking at pictures of Ana?” Henry asked, sitting up in the bed.

“I’m just curious. How long have you two dated?” Y/N asked. Henry rolled his eyes.

“I thought you dropped it.” Henry said.

“And I’m picking it up again, how long have you two dated?” Y/N asked.

“4 years, I met her when I was filming ‘A man from UNCLE’ in Italy.” Henry told Y/N, knowing what her next question would be.

“Why did you two break up?” Y/N asked.

“I guess we just grew apart.” Henry commented and Y/N looked at him.

“Why did you grow apart?” Y/N asked.

“Oh my god, angel, leave it alone, please, I have never seen you act this way, you know I’ve had previous relationships, why is this one different?” Henry asked

“Because it’s Ana de Armas! You went from Ana de Armas to me, do you understand how mind boggling that is?” Y/N gets up from their bed. “She’s an 11 and I’m a 4, and that’s on a good day, Fortachón. I know you love me and clearly looks don’t matter to you,” Y/N said gesturing to herself. “But I can’t help but think about you and Ana. What about your other exes? Are they actresses too? Or are they models? Singers?“

“You think I don’t wonder about your exes too?” Henry gets up as well. “Of course I think about them! But I don’t obsess over them like your obsessing over Ana right.” Henry said.

“You wanna know why? Because you don’t know who they are! You never met them, I never really told you about them, so you could imagine them however you want! You are a public figure so your previous relationships are all on Google.” Y/N said and goes downstairs to the kitchen, Henry following quickly behind her.

“Y/N, i love YOU, i am with you, Ana and I haven’t talked in years, we only make small talk if we see each other at award shows or premieres. You are so beautiful and I love you because you make me feel safe, happy, and at home.” Henry said, looking at Y/N in her eyes.

“I love you too, Fortachón, but I still have some questions. Did she give great head? Like I know I’m not the best at it, I’ve been told before, but…” Y/N started but Henry kissed her, after a while he pulled away.

“You’re better…wait, who said you weren’t good?” Henry questioned.

“Not the point..” Y/N said but was interrupted by Henry.

“No no, you obsessed over Ana, now it my turn to talk about your ex, what did he do?” Henry asked with his arms folded in front of his chest.

“Mm, He’s a hockey player, his name is James Oleksiak.” Y/N said. She went to the fridge to look for what to make for breakfast. “How do you feel about pancakes?” Y/N asked. Henry googled him and his eyes widened.

“James Oleksiak? HE IS 6’7!” Henry exclaimed.

“Yeah, i was a hockey WAG, good times.” Y/N said. “If it makes you feel better, I dated Lewis Hamilton for a while too, he’s 5’9 so you’re good.”

“You’re doing this on purpose now.” Henry said, also looking up pictures of Lewis Hamilton. “Okay, now I know how you feel.”

“I guess we’re both obsessed with each other’s exes. Can we stop doing that? That was actually exhausting.” Y/N said.

“Yeah, as far as we know, we only date each other.” Henry said, kissing Y/N. “How big was James?”

“I am not answering that.” Y/N said, laughing at Henry’s question.

“Why not? I answered your question about Ana.” Henry tried to convince Y/N. “Wait, did James say you weren’t that good or was it Lewis?”

“I’m good, I just can’t deep throat.” Y/N said and Henry thought for a second.

“It was James, wasn’t it?” Henry asked.

“Oh my god, stop, help me make pancakes.” Y/N said

The end

Because of the poll results, I am trying to write more Henry Cavill x Reader, I’ll still write about Walter and Mike, just not as often. ALSO, Henry Cavill’s nickname going forward is “Fortachón”, I can’t BELIEVE I forgot that in Hercules, his nickname in the Spanish Latino dub is fortachón, and since I had the idea to make Henry dress up as Hercules in a fanfic @shellyshellshell wrote, Fortachón is PERFECT! I was going through a crisis trying to figure out a good nickname for Henry, like damn.

Face Reveal

[lushaletta]

hide with me / james potter

pairing: james potter x fem!reader

warnings: mild swearing, mentions of mental health/anxiety, reader has a panic attack

summary: poorly written drabble in which you have awful anxiety and a lovely james.

a/n: i feel like this feels unfinished i’m so sorry… i clearly lost steam by the end but i hope you all like it! i am such a sucker for some james

⋆ ࣪.  ⁺⑅ ⋰˚ *.ﾟ .˳⁺⁎˚ ˚⁎⁺˳ . ༺ ˖࣪ ˖࣪ ∗

It feels like the world is caving in on you. The ceiling is about to fall down and crush you under its weight.

The voices of those around have all mixed and faded into each other into a jumble of noise. You don’t quite know what Lily is saying, not even sure what Marlene is doing; you can hardly see anything.

A laughable attempt at taking a breath has you panicking more and you stumble out of Alice’s living room and onto her front patio as hot, salty tears sting your face.

The reason as to why you’re suddenly in this state has you confused. One moment, you’re fine and the next, you’re in full breakdown mode.

Fresh air. That’s usually all you need. You let the scent of pine fill your lungs, grounding yourself on the railing. You’re fine, you try to repeat to yourself. You’re fine.

“Hey,” a voice calls out. You whip around and spot a head of dark curls and pretty hazel eyes.

Him. You don’t know whether you’re happy or sad about his presence. There’s a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and he looks gorgeous as ever.

You’ve liked James a long time. Much too long. He’s liked Lily for longer.

You’re sure he knows about your feelings, you’d done a poor job at keeping them secret, and you’d be surprised if at this point he was unaware.

Remus knows because you’d confided in him first. He was sweet about it, stroking your hair and whispering kind words in your ear. Sirius knows from the “powers of deduction”, as he likes to call it.

“Hi,” he says, putting the cig between his fingers, flicking the ash off.

“Hi,” you reply, a little breathless.

He walks over to you, assessing your state. “Are you alright?”

He’s always been awfully caring. It’s half the reason you like him more than what’s healthy.

James knows your ins and outs. Your family history, all your favourite movies, how many freckles you have. He’s committed every part of you to memory.

He treats you like you’re fragile, like a porcelain doll. As if you’d break when dropped.

Maybe it’s self-righteousness. Maybe he’s doing it out of pity. Though, in this moment, it feels anything but.

“Just fine,” you whisper, staring at him so deeply it’s embarrassing.

“You ran off.”

You laugh a humourless laugh. “Did I?”

James nods, looking like he’s inspecting you. It makes you feel a little self-conscious.

A smile creeps across your face. It’s really only to conceal the awkwardness. “What?”

“I think we’re past the point of pretending everything is alright when it isn’t,” he says, matter-of-factly. “Will you tell me what happened?”

The bluntness of his words makes you nervous. He’s not typically so forward.

“I was overwhelmed.”

His arms lace around your shoulders. “Okay,” he whispers. “Okay, let’s go, then,” he says, decidedly.

It’s a tempting offer. Being dragged away from all the noise and instead spending the night with James, but you don’t want to disrupt his evening with your feelings. He likes these people. He’s comfortable with them. He’s not like you, you say to yourself.

“No. I’m fine, James, really. Please don’t worry yourself.”

“I was kind of getting tired anyway. We can grab food and you can sleep at my place for the night, hm?” he insists, putting out his cig.

He’s doing it again. That thing where he’s just being so considerate and kind to the point that it bothers you.

“I..” you trail off, looking at the stars instead of his eyes. They’re both really beautiful.

“I’d like for you to come with me, sweetheart. Let’s get away. Just for a bit,” he tries again, gently tilting your face towards his.

You’re going to come with him. You were going to the first time he asked, no matter what, but you need to hear that he wants it.

You crack a smile. “Okay.”

Before midnight, you’re in his car. It’s a bit beaten up and the engine takes a couple of tries before it starts, but it’s a charming vehicle. He’s ordering fries for you, doing all the talking you’re so hesitant to.

There are muffled voices over the speaker. “Just a moment.” James turns to you. “Want a coke, baby?”

You nod, tapping your fingers on the window and fumbling with the button of your seatbelt.

He hands you a paper bag.

“Thank you, James. I’m sorry you’re stuck with me instead of with Lily at the gathering.”

His face contorts into a look of slight confusion as he grabs a fry from your hand. “Why would I want to be with Lily?” It’s not that he doesn’t want to hang out with Lily, it’s just that you could’ve asked about Sirius or Remus or even Frank.

“I mean, you like her, don’t you?” you say, voice quivering. Afraid of the answer.

“She’s a nice girl.” It’s not a no. You’re crushed. You nod your head like you’re unsurprised.

A forced smile makes its way onto your lips. “You two would look good together,” you say, hushed.

His brow quirks. “What? No.” It comes out a little sharp, and he immediately softens. “No, it’s not like that. Sorry.”

“Oh.” You hate yourself for it, but you feel your body immediately relax in relief.

Now he’s the uneasy one. His fingers are tapping on the steering wheel and he’s clearly purposely avoiding your gaze.

“Listen—“

“—I’m sorry,” you cut him off. “Sorry, you first.”

The car comes to a stop at some dark parking lot. James turns to face you. “What are you apologising for?”

Even you’re not too sure. It’s a mix of a few things; Lily, forcing him to stay with you, your anxiety, interrupting him, even. A general apology for your.. you-ness.

“All this. I just want you to be happy, James. I’m really sorry for always making you do this. Comfort me whenever I’m overwhelmed like that.”

He blinks. “I’m happy when I’m with you, sweetheart. Why don’t you understand that I enjoy doing this? I love when we escape from those dumb gatherings and do shit like this. I love it. I love you, damn it.”

Your heart drops. No, it stops. He had to be drunk. He was driving under the influence, surely. A crime. That’s a felony. Your head was absolutely spinning.

You don’t know what to do but stare blankly at him as his face asks you to just say something.

“What?”

“I love you! I don’t even know where you got that whole Lily thing. I love you! It’s always been you!”

Well, shit.

You lower your voice to a whisper. “So do something about it, Potter.”

And he does.

[msfcatlover]

Nightwing!Damian would still be of the Corruption, though he has so many healthy relationships in his life that its influence on him is slipping. His swarm is smaller now than it’s ever been. His power fades day by day. He might even manage to be human again someday (he doesn’t know how he feels about that, when his swarm are so beloved & his monster side has always been a source of pride for Damian.)

Tim was always going to be of the Eye, being Oracle only doubles down on it.

Cass in the TMA AU is basically Agnes Montague, but for the Stranger. That wouldn’t change either.

Steph was only just starting out when Damian took her under his wing. She never fully got caught in the spiraling fixation on destroying her father by any means necessary, she couldn’t pursue one goal to the exclusion of all others, and as the first fully human (non-Alfred) member of the team, everyone would be doing their best to protect that humanity, monitoring her for any sign of supernatural influence and guiding her away before it could get its hooks in her (they are still Bruce’s children, after all.) Until she came out of the dirt, unsheltered & unprotected, already marked so many times over, with fear & rage boiling in her blood. Until Talia gave Steph her mind back, gave Steph a purpose again, and the rage boiled over plasmatic hate. Until Steph laughed like a roaring maelstrom, sparks crackling in her wild hair, something bordering on madness in her eyes, and Talia thought: Oh. I have made a mistake. (The storm would be leashed, eventually. Steph does have self control, she has goals to achieve, plans to make, and power alone could not do that. But in that moment, when Steph realized her killer was still killing people despite everything that had happened, in her pain & fury, she gave in. She stepped backwards off that invisible ledge and plunged headfirst into what she knew she was Becoming. She embraced it, wholeheartedly. In that moment, it almost wasn’t Stephanie Brown in that garden, but the Cataclysm itself inside her skin. Almost.)

Duke… I’m still struggling to think of a good match for, but honestly in this AU… His ability to connect, to make people listen to him, his desire to step up & save the city himself if he has to, and the fact Duke is the eldest/first batkid in this AU (giving him & Bruce even more in common when Batman had only ever fought alone) all make me want to say Web. BUT with his powers, his ability to lead a crowd, the sheer scale of his potential, I also want to say Vast? What little I know of Gnomon also says Vast, ALTHOUGH…. …we could play off their shadow control, invert Duke’s light powers for this AU, and say Dark. Which would make Duke borderline antithetical to Web!Bruce, but hey, maybe Web!Bruce wants to prove to himself just how much choice he still has—that the Web can make him as uncomfortable as it likes, but he’s still going to take care of a child in need. (Assuming he is going against the Web’s wishes, of course, and it isn’t reverse psychologying him…) (My gut says Web!Duke, though. The more I think about it, the more I like Web!Duke conceptually… but I am worried that it doesn’t fit him. That Duke’s all-or-nothing “if no one else is going to, I’ll do it myself” attitude & raw charisma is not close enough to the Web’s need for control. I don’t like it when people just assign characters an Entity for the Aesthetic(TM) or for shallow, surface-level reasons—it has to resonate with their own personal failings, or else what’s even the point?)

Jason was human when he joined the family, and they’d want to keep him that way… but I think by the time he gets back from the Red Robin arc, Jason would’ve been claimed by the Hunt.

Dick gets scooped up by the family almost immediately in this AU, and Cass does her best to temper in his early-days bloodlust. With Cass as his Batman, I think Dick would be tempted by the Vast, but ultimately chase after her by embracing his own Otherness. (Or Dick was already a Stranger when his parents fell. But honestly, I like the arc of Dick learning to love himself & following in his mentor’s footsteps so much more than making him a Stranger because Circus.)

[majachee]

did you say….a power rangers x td au?

IVE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE ONE BUT HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU I owe my life to you power rangers was the shit

please yap about it I’m begging

IT CAME TO ME IN A VISION EARLY ONE MORNING, AND IT HASN'T LEFT MY BRAIN.

I am writing a fic about it, though it isn't my number 1 priority wip atm cuz its just smth silly and self-indulgent, but because I now know there's someone out there REALLY DIGGING THIS IDEA, it'll be moved up on my list by a few notches lol

This AU is heavily focused on comedy and action, so rather than assigning TD characters to PR roles that they'd actually fit, I went with what would be REALLY FUNNY to write about.

So the Rangers consist of Harold (red), Duncan (Black), Noah (blue), Courtney (yellow), and Heather (pink).

These guys were assigned to work on a lab/project for their science class, specifically on the effects of pollution, littering, and climate change. No take-backsies, they're stuck with eachother and 4/5 of these guys don't want to fail... 4/5 of these guys are also assholes.

After some healthy doses of bitching, they agree to meet up and study an abandoned rig. But GASP! They get attacked by some guys... made of putty? Damn dude that's CRAAAAAAZYYY

... this is specifically based on the MMPR tv show, and I'm very tempted to draw the putty monsters exactly like how their costumes look in the show (silver fullbody suits with seams visible and monster claws/masks.) Listen, the putty monster costumes bring me A LOT OF JOY, I genuinely love this show dO NOT @ ME (unless its for mmpr fanart... please @ me...)

Anyways, these assholes fumble through the fight: Harold shows off the skills he learned at Defensive Steve's Defense Class, Noah gets thrown off a small cliff because he weighs less than a paper weight, Courtney feels the exciting rush of bloodlust for the first time... Normal stuff, really!

Of course, this ends up with all 5 of them being summoned (lazer kidnapped) to Power Rangers Headquarters! And it's revealed that Zorgon's role was taken by Chris McClean I'm SORRY. Look, it's funny. He has the same personality he does in canon, but instead of running a reality TV show centered around teens, he has to babysit a small group of teens who hate eachother. This will be really funny in execution, I promise.

Some of the kiddos have a few words to say about the Dinozords... cuz half of them aren't even dinosaurs. Also, they do NOT like the idea of being forced to work together on a color-coded superhero team of all things!

Drama Bot is Alpha, it focuses on the team's publicity ratings.

Rita Repulsa? Meet Blainely McBlamey!! SELF EXPLANATORY!!

I love Rita Repulsa, so Blainely fans consider this a very high honor.

The Green Ranger is Alejandro.

I plan on having the AU mostly focus on campy episodic adventures with some character development sprinkled in, and having the more important PR plots be... well... important and more thoroughly executed, if I ever get around to it.

As for the main gang themselves?

Harold is quite stoked and honored about being a superhero, and quickly ends up being the team leader and team morale – due to his smarts, and quick-to-forgive personality. He doesn't take shit from anyone, but he also won't hold grudges, especially on the battlefield... Though he does have a slight problem with going on long tangents about certain factoids (same...)

He has a vast array of skills and knowledge at his disposable... It all depends on how/when he uses said skills lmao. So far he's probably the least developed one in this AU, right next to Duncan. That'll change when I write more of them.

Courtney? Oh... Oh you KNOW she likes being a Power Ranger. She preaches about the importance of morals, and upholding laws, and how some people ought to respect the responsibilities that come with being a Power Ranger... and some people are more deserving of being recognized as heroes than others. Courtney I love you and I hope I do you justice... mwah... She very much likes taking the lead, and claims that she should be the team leader... and valedictorian, and class president... Oh yeah, you KNOW she worries about her grades a lot, especially after becoming a Ranger. She becomes a lot more productive with her passion as the story goes on, and learns to trust and respect her teammates.

Noah takes on the role of reluctant tactician... Aka the smartass. Physical activites aren't his forte, and he plans on keeping it that way. He relies on his Zord the most, and when that isn't available he resorts to evasive maneuvers and hiding while the other guys handle it. Him staying on the sidelines, however, does lead to him being more observant to the enemies' weaknesses, which will eventually lead to him having a more active role in the team as the main tactician. I'd imagine once that happens, he'll have a lot of interesting back-and-forths with Harold and Courtney. Still a sarcastic, laidback asshole, but more active in his participation when it comes to the team.

Duncan... is more aligned with his season 1 and early season 2 personality. No cheating or love triangles here. He is still an ASSHOLE, though, especially to Harold and Noah. They don't take his shit. I dont have much to say about him yet iM SORRYYYYYY

Asshole punk with a heart of gold... that's his schtick alright...

HEATHER MY BELOVED. She looks hella good in pink and she knows it. She doesn't like being a part of this team, but by god will she put the effort in, because she doesn't want to die to some clay-freak. Her zord-buddy is the pterodactyl, which she finds to be quite convenient, considering it's on the smaller side and can fly, very easy for aerial advantage. Very hellbent on defeating Blainely McBlamey, because once she's defeated they can all go on with their lives. Presumably... evil grin...

I don't know how to really put it in more fancy words, but like... Heather is the most active participant along with Harold and Courtney. She's very headstrong, tends to butt heads with Courtney a lot (not only are they both stubborn, but they also both view themselves as the leader of the group. Nobody realizes it's Harold, not even Harold himself, dramatic irony at its finest.)

Everyone on the team loses their shit when Alejandro (the enemy[tm]) gets a frickin' DRAGON-ZORD of all things.

If yiu have questions about specific characters or MMPR episodes, I'll do my best to answer lol

[tawneybel]

Note: “Imagine how greedy Ross Humboldt gets over your body when he can tell you’re pregnant with multiples.” Contains sex pollen, too.

It was late by less than two weeks. How Mr. Humboldt knew he was a father again was beyond you. Eight days. A week and a day since he’d successfully inseminated you. Which Ross claimed would result in “a whole brood of ______-Humboldts!” 

A father again and again and… 

The lush grassland wanted to share its fecundity with its guests. Or subjects. Whatever it deemed you two. You weren’t a member of the Church of the Black Rock. Ross was. Initially, you didn’t like calling him by his first name. Who would, in your circumstances? Pretending he was still married to Natalie didn’t help. (You’d tried.) “Till death do we part” and all that. A normal union whose vows might not apply to Ross’s new marriage. 

“I haven’t even taken a test.” 

“But you are,” Ross insisted with a smile. Ignoring the ridiculousness of your statement. There were no pharmacies out here. 

Dodging his caresses wasn’t an option now. 

Not that you wanted to. There wasn’t much else to do. A bag of books to fight ennui. Some convenience store fare. Your leash was shorter than ever after the escape. Which had been too easy. Ross slept like the dead after screwing. Maybe the Tall Grass thought it tamed you. Or it liked to tease. A yawning path tempted you out of the maze. The church remained fixed even as you jumped up one, two, three, four times. Heart thumping, you made a break for it. Thankful that with everything/-one lost, your keys remained pocketed. 

Find a station. No, not a police station. A gas station. Nobody rational will believe me. Becky, Cal, Tobin, Travis. All gone. Whether from the mortal plane or just the Grass, who knows? And what plane is the Tall Grass the entry for, anyway? Fairyland, limbo, some fresh hellscape? Okay, found a station. 

After that, you were on autopilot. Waking up in the passenger seat to Ross racing back down the way you came. “Racing” was a bit strong. Just going a bit above the speed limit. Nothing a typical suburban dad wouldn’t do on the way to a beguiling destination. 

“Picked up some groceries while you were out.”

It wasn’t stated like a question. You had one or a dozen, but swallowed your queries. The Tall Grass wasn’t so isolated. Not like Ross and me and babies makes one, two, three… It shouldn’t have been able to reach out that far. Pollen, maybe. Your new family was rooted here. The idea of rhizomes reaching out miles upon miles, seeking your footfalls… Because you had been barefoot. Shoes long lost to the Grass during Ross’s wooing. You hoped the convenience store clerk didn’t notice. She either hadn’t or was too polite to say anything. Too bad there hadn’t been a drive-through.    

“Good,” Ross continued, “you’re going to need all the nutrients you can get. Need to keep your strength up. For all the fucking.” 

A giggle bolted from your mouth. The sky was darkening but you spotted a Plymouth Fury. So you were entering the Tall Grass where you’d exited. For the last time, probably. 

“And the birthing, of course. I’ll help with that.” 

“Like you did with Becky?”

It just slipped out. Ross smoothly parked your vehicle. For a wild second, you imagined plowing through the vegetation. Mowing it down. Ripping open packs of snacks, scattering, and stomping on them. Their saltiness ensuring nothing green grew there ever again as you smooshed them into the ground. 

“Now, ______,” Ross chastised, rolling down your window. Like you needed fresh air. “I’m not a certified midwife, but we’re going to have help. I want our babies to be safe and healthy just as much as you do.”

His tone made you feel childish. Throwing a temper tantrum wasn’t going to help. Your face flushed further as he poked at your panties. 

“Look, all those hormones aren’t just making you wet. They’re also giving you nesting instincts.”

“They are?” you asked, snapping your eyes away from the Grass. The blades of which sought you out like sunlight. If it wasn’t dusk, you might have noticed the large clumps of pollen wafting through the air. If it wasn’t dusk, and Ross hadn’t been massaging you through your underwear. 

You shut your eyes and inhaled. 

“Let me do the errands in the future, okay?” 

“Ross, someone might see usssss.” Your plea quickly turned into a hiss of pleasure. He’d pulled aside the soaked cotton to reveal your warm cunt. His thumb teased your slit, making you try to push yourself onto it. Mr. Humboldt’s current favorite hole of yours leaked onto his hands. 

“We got a gusher!”

Your thighs tried to rub together, but your spouse quickly withdrew his thumb before prying apart both soft limbs. 

“Uh uh. Take your skirt off.”

You nodded, obediently unbuttoning. However, the skirt was actually part of a dress with a differently patterned top and bottom. As soon as Ross caught sight of your soon-to-be swollen breasts, the last thread of his restraint unraveled. 

“Fuck, I’m so greedy for your body.”

His face burrowed into your tits, supported by a front-fastening bra. Once unlocked, they sprang free, ready to get sucked by Ross for nine months straight. And afterwards. His hands stayed on your legs. Squeezing them tighter and tighter, till you cried out. Wanting to suckle each nipple, but unsure which to start on, he nuzzled the cleft of your breasts. 

“Twins mean double the milk. And quads-!”

He groaned, unable to resist your now yielding thighs. Or your puffy nips or the fact you had an unfilled gap hot and dripping. You hadn’t been penetrated for almost half a day, which was a problem. Unless asleep, Ross knew you needed at least a couple fingers inside your warm hole. Preferably a cock, though. He needed to be stretching you out for childbirth. Make it feel almost weird not to have something inside you. 

(The fact that’s not how vaginae worked wouldn’t occur until post-nut clarity. Ross was just that psyched for you to deliver quadruplets.) 

If your nethers got too sore, he’d love to sandwich himself between plump tits. Plumpening tits.

“Ross, take me inside the grass.”

Your husband complied, leading you by the waist. The tips of your nips hardened, reaching out for the Grass’s blades. Ross matched your smile as the greenery encased you both. Looking forward to ______’s birth canal getting plugged, overflowing with cum, bearing brood after brood after brood. You were spot on about the Tall Grass’s desire to share its fecundity. About making Mr. Humboldt’s length swell only at the thought of worshiping your arable body.

Letting you go had been a fun experiment. Ross would be in charge of grocery shopping from now on, though. It didn’t need you to touch the Rock. Not yet. Not with its pollen keeping you compliant and, more importantly, aroused.

The newlyweds were enjoying their stroll to the center of the contiguous United States. You absentmindedly fingered your coochie, prepping it for more breeding, while one of Ross’s hands slid up to work a nipple. 

Yeah, you were going to enjoy maternity. 

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

America Ferrera :: The Barbie Movie

Here is Gloria’s monologue in its entirety:

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know.

[Los Angeles Times]

[anxiouslyfred]

Drowned Net

Summary/ My idea for this fic: Jellyfish cryptid Remus, he doesn't mean to be unknown or hard to spot, but he's floating and following the interesting things. Humans are loud but dull and predictable to him.

Then there's Virgil, a cryptid hunter online who posts about his searches and just got recommended the Drowned Net of a small town on the shore.

Authors Note: Okay I KNOW, I freaking know for certain, this came from something @lazaruscorpse said some time ago. I cannot for the life of me find where, or remember when. Sea mentioned something about jellyfish cryptid and tumblr won't let me find it now. bleh.

/\/\

Remus was curious by nature. They wanted to know all the interesting things, like how far down would stop predators flocking to blood in the water, or how close they could get to the warm ones fucking.

In earlier years, they’d even been interested in humans for a while, but found them all too predictable soon enough: they see Remus’s back in the water and throw things at them; They see Remus’s face and either weep or scramble trying to pull them out before throwing things again.

Humanity is just predictable, even as they grew noisier and got sharper things to throw. Even the ones Remus saw in the water were dull, either lifelessly floating and ignoring all attempted to chat or screaming and splashing about.

In short, the water held far more of interest to Remus in its life and depths than humanities occasional visits ever would.

~~

Virgil’s latest challenge started, as a lot of them did, with a comment on one of his videos: No one ever covers the Drowned Net of Redwood. Are water cryptids too much effort to investigate?”

It was definitely harder to investigate them, but Virgil knew what it was like to wish something was known about and find nothing; that was why he’d started posting videos at all. So he replied, confirming the town’s location and added it to the cryptids he could investigate when up to travelling.

Now the few times Virgil had tried looking for ocean based cryptids he’d struggled to find any boats willing to take him out. Most sailors, fishermen and boat owners had healthy suspicions and a lot of caution against tempting the ocean to take their livelihoods, if not their lives. He respected that immensely and would then stick to what could be done on land.

For the Drowned Net however, no one worried about it. They laughed over ‘that old myth’ and were inviting him along before the request to could be said.

After checking if he minded being in his video, Virgil recorded a small interview with the sailer taking him out.

“Here is my Captain for the day: Thomas, tell me a little more about today’s cryptid.” He began, having already filmed a beginning for the video and knowing this could be cut depending on how things went.

Thomas shook his head, “I’m no captain, just a sailor. What questions do you have?”

“Most sailors tell me they won’t go near looking for any sea monsters or cryptids, but you like the Drowned Net?” He asked.

“What I like is animals keeping away from our boats. It’s better for us and them when they do and the Drowned Net does just that, sometimes with annoyed noises, I hear, but never any hassle.” Thomas easily replied. “Granted this is mostly things I’ve heard from other sailors.”

“Wouldn’t a fisherman want fish to come close?” Virgil asked, eyes narrowing.

Thomas shrugged, gesturing around at his ship. “I take my nets to them and even then have to try and be careful over what I catch. The wrong fish means a lot of dead ones being thrown back. Damn restrictions.”

There was a moment where Virgil nodded, wondering if he should entertain the diversion but decided to keep the interview focused. “Why is this cryptid called the ‘Drowned Net’? Is that what you think it is? I know the pictures have been thought to look like one.”

“Not at all. If jellyfish grew that big, or had solid limbs, I’d call it one of them from the glimpses I’ve gotten. Slow as the water if seen deep below on sunny day, but fast as a speedboat to dive down or away if it thinks we can see it clearly. You seen many jellies?” He asked, turning to the controls of the ship.

Virgil shook his head, “Nope, don’t get many inland. Why?”

“They aren’t the fastest movers unless a current gets them. Either Drowned Net controls currents or it can move itself better than a plain jelly could.” Thomas paused, glancing at the sky. “But we best be heading out now for the best chance of spotting it.”

“One last question: How many times have you seen it?”

Thomas paused, still looking out the window but at the waves now. “Twice for certain. Glimpses in the corner of my eye of shadows in the water leaving are countless, and as likely to be light or other creatures as the Drowned Net. My Grandpa use to say he saw it four times, following the animals of the waves.”

~~

It was fucking time and Remus couldn’t decided what to watch. So many goos and goops in the water waiting to become life, so many animals joining bodies in weird ways and they wanted to watch it all.

They had just chosen what to focus on when on of the human’s boats paused on the surface, forms looking over into the water. Deciding not to miss the show, they simply sunk lower in the water, ignoring it.

~~

Thomas stopped the boat seemingly at random so far as Virgil knew, but he went when called to look over the edge of the boat.

“Now, you’ve done your research on the Drowned Net, haven’t you?” Thomas asked, not pointing anything out yet.

Virgil huffed, feeling like he was being doubted. “Of course. I never go out in search of something unless most encounters reported are harmless.”

“That wasn’t why I asked. I’ve stopped us here because it’s a breeding spot for a few types of fish and your trip was timed perfectly for that.” He explained a little more, waiting for him to understand.

“So if we have a chance of finding the Drowned Net, then it’s more likely to be here.” He nodded, angling his camera down at the waves. “But it’s dark, how are we-”

As he spoke a paler area of the water shrank, as if something had descended drastically. “The pale shape was the Drowned Net?” He asked, a little stunned it had been so easy to see.

“I think so, but we’ll never get closer than that. It doesn’t like ships.” Thomas said, peering down as well. “Unless you’re a trained diver and haven’t mentioned that.”

“I’m not becoming a drowned man, all for a video on the Drowned Net.” Virgil replied, deadpan. It was the first time he’d actually seen the cryptid he was looking for, and just a vague shape was thrilling; definitely worth the travel.

[thementalshawty]

Weekly & Monthly Report!

So I realize that most people didn’t really like the weekly readings and updates so I decided for the ones that do to be quick about it, I shall give a little bullet point reading about certain events that can and may happen this week for those in the collective I shall also do a little sneak peek of this month! It’s a new month my patreon members try to get your questions into me this week! Love ya & if you want the full read and details join my madhouse patreon! Link is below.

For some of you there’s going to be some kind of situation or relationship with some man that’ll be important this week, whether it be your sibling, friend, boss, Co-Worker, SO, etc. some kind of important dealing with this male may or shall take place this week.

This week overall will be filled with peace and harmony I’m seeing lots of the collective feeling relieved or lighthearted and very flowy this week, very go with the flow type of energy this week for the collective yasss. Wind chimes may be a sign of importance this week, maybe some will hear the rest may see, some both I’m hearing.

Some of you will be tempted to lower your standards to make things easier or to accept less than you deserve this week and I’m seeing your guides saying AHT AHT AHT! Let’s not do that! DO NOT SETTLE FOR SHIT THIS WEEK! Only what you want and deserve only! Seeing a flag may be of importance maybe lowering your flag I’m seeing queer flags so my 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ ⚧️ including myself, LETS NOT LOWER OUR STANDARDS FOR NOBODY!

I’m seeing four leaf clovers 🍀! Good luck and great fortune for the collective this week, some money big or small is coming in for you guys Yass get that mfcn bag Hunny 💋!

Your health is something you guys need to pay attention to this week, be extra cautious some of you may be getting into accidents. Getting sick, feeling down, just be mindful and take care this week. Maybe some of you guys are getting over an illness this week too!

Spiritual love is entering, I’m hearing for some it’s romantic and for others it’s platonic. You’ll feel so connected with this person, like they just get you through and through, this is a soulmate! So gear up, it can even mean spiritual awareness and awakening within your own selves! Giving that spiritual love to yourself.

Something that was done in the past is what will financially come to you this week, idk how it’ll play out for the entire collective, but everyone seems to be having some mula coming in hunny yassssssss 👏🏽

Now it’s time for your monthly energy

Funny this month there’s going to be some kind of dealing or something with a woman with dark hair, eyes, vibe or complexion this month for some of you, I’m not sure if it’s a healthy person, if they’re not all i do know is that some of you will be experiencing the dark vibes.

There will be a loss, and there’ll be some sorrow over it but I’m hearing it’s for the best even tho ain’t nobody wanna be hearing that shit in the moment of thag loss but I’m seeing that there is something that’s ending this month for the collective and I’m seeing some sadness over it. A breakup for some I’m hearing.

Someone will be testing your gangsta this month, someone will be trying to oppose you, and make you back down but I’m seeing that your guides want you to show strength and boldness don’t back down from anyone this month.

For some there’ll be spiritual growth and increase for others its material wealth increase, but again INCREASE this month!

Whatever you’re going through this month, if you persevere you will overcome whatever issues that will come your way this month cos like every month there’s lesson and shit needs to be done in order for you to advance. Just keep swimming I heard.

There’s a rat 🐀 amongst you guys and they’re wishing bad & working against you behind your bacc like always be cautious, move in silence, & protect your energy.

This month you’ll be doing something risky or be faced with a risky move that’ll require you to make a decision and take a chance I’m not the type to tell you guys what to do just trust yourselves!

That is all folks again if you want the full extended report the link to my patreon is here

HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT RESONATED & SOME MO SHIT 😂 LOVE YOU GUYS HAPPY APRIL AND HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

[transpersian]

Deep Cover

(copied from my twitter thread)

Alright. I got my unhinged time. Back to being regulated and strategic.

Apologies for my manic state over the past couple of days. For the past 2.5 months, I leaned into my most subservient, self-hating, self-blaming state from my past to make her feel in control.

It broke me.

I’m not here to hash out my history of trauma, but let’s just say I’m used to being in survival mode. I let the part of me that still felt for her grow like a weed, trying to carefully prune it so it didn’t overtake everything else. I gave her that power with careful limits.

The guilt I felt was real; I don’t want to do this. I want her to stop. But until she does, it’s necessary.

Alongside my love, the dissonance of guilt led to many, many breakdowns. I have friends who sat with me for hours in those calls as I lamented what Poppy could have been.

Add the additional stress of my strained trust and relationships with friends, including a half dozen that cut ties completely.

Add the viciousness people constantly spit at me anonymously on Tumblr.

Add my whole-ass personal life, which is its own nightmare of complications.

This has been hard, especially because I didn’t expect it to last more than two weeks. Especially when Poppy genuinely started to trust me. Defend me against her friends. Against Zena.

She promised she wouldn’t abandon me again and she didn’t. That’s particularly potent w/ BPD.

I still handled things.

Part of me worried that if she offered to run away from all this with me, I would’ve been tempted. People would finally be safe from her and I’d be in the toxic relationship of my nightmares.

But my principles kept me true. My love for Hela kept me true.

To help keep those feelings in check, I’d regularly read back through the documentation I was still working on. Especially Spawn’s screenshots.

I’ve literally worked myself to tears dozens of times to keep focus on what I’m fighting for.

Was this healthy? Nah.

But it worked.

I don’t need everyone to agree with what I did, or how. I just hope everyone at least sees that it’s not something I just do casually. This was a dark art, learned from many years of surviving people like PZ. I had to break this shit out like John Wick’s buried stash.

I was deeply uncomfortable with how good I was at it. I started to feel bad about it a few weeks in. I used that guilt to feed into my facade. The lines began to blur more and more.

I wasn’t going to betray my people, but I started to lose it for a while. Actual derealization.

I did accomplish useful things in there, but I can’t share them for fear of endangering them. Just know that I’d do it all over again. It was worth it.

I have a wonderful support network. Beyond just trauma bonding, I love these people. I trust them with my life.

But that last push, that desperate series of attempts to get Poppy to accept even one tiny bit of responsibility… that broke me.

Her saying that my love for her wasn’t real unless I betrayed my friends? That hurt. Telling her that she’d destroyed me and her “I don’t care?” God.

I leaned into the crazy on that last conversation because, frankly, I wanted to. I wanted to let all of the rage and fury and madness that I’d felt over all of this out.

Not just what she’d done to me. Everyone. Dozens.

And it felt good, y’all. It felt good to get theatrical.

So when I finally came out of it… that energy carried over.

I became the crazy ex-girlfriend they said I was, just for a bit. My strikes were still pointed, but yeah, I dove into the vibe.

Sorry about that.

It’ll take time to heal properly, but I’ll be okay. Survived worse.

Point being, I just wanted to make a statement discussing my recent behavior. I’m not proud of it, but I don’t regret it.

I’ve been so controlled with my emotions about all of this for so long. Please forgive me this indulgence.

I went under right before people started finally listening. It was kind of intoxicating to say things publicly and finally get so much support and visibility.

But if I’m going to continue being a prominent voice in this whole debacle, I need to be better, and I will be.

I am.

So… back to work. Back to healing.

Thank you for trusting me. It means the world.

It’s so fucking good to be back. 💜

[shoezuki]

I’m going insane I’m GOING INSANE

Egg you can’t keep DOING THIS TO ME every chapter is so so good and raghhhhhh I can’t deal

Lynx and Natasha are definitely catching onto Gepard by now… hehe if only they knew.. I’m loving Dr. Bissette like she’s one of my favorite character tropes and I’m. I’m falling in love with her characterization— she’s a minor character you can’t be doing this to me goddamnit

SAMPO’S AWAKE YEAAAAAAAA I loved that whole sequence of just “take your shirt off” “wgat” help that was so funny- I’m very excited to see what happens when he’s more lucid, but I gotta say I am really enjoying Delirious Sampo just for that extra comedy.

Gepard’s whole conflict with him missing the shack.. yeah. Yea that’s the good stuff. I like complicated stuff like this and it’s just?? So good???

(please give these two the happy ending they deserve oh my god)

Officially reaching the 100k mark! Huzzah!! Glad I could watch the progression in real time. I’ll always support your writing literally forever, I think. Even after this one is completed.

Seriously, give yourself some credit, 100k is not a very easy thing to achieve. You can do it o7

-💫

ps this probably makes no sense bc I just slapped a bunch of my thoughts together in one message, and it’s like not coherent whatsoever, but. Yea this is what you get now

GHH.H THANKYOU???? SO MUCH. holy fuck im gigglin n kickin my feet. ngl i still have ur ask in my inbox from the last ch and i would go n reread it constantly vsdmdvdh

nat and lynx Absolutely know. they r both like o fuck this guy is whipped. like its so blatant lbr. mfer is probably fantasizing bout rescuing sampo from a burning building. gepards all 'i want sampo safe and healthy im worried about him all the time i hope hes ok i wonder what hes doing now maybe i should go see him' and lynx is jus holding her head in her hands.

i like bissette a lot too tbhhh like. i was not gonna have her present at all beyond the ch of him wakin up in the hospital but i got attached vskdbddh. i am very tempted to make her more prevalent and give her more backstory n character n all that but... it feels weird to insert a minor character into a fic too much svdjdgd. maybe ill make her an oc outside of it

THE SHIRT THING. I have been thinkin bout it for SO LONG ngl i was like what would a drugged up sampo notice first. oh ya that gepard has a shirt on now cuz they spent nearly 2 months in the shack w a half naked gepard like seeing him w a shirt on now??? thats FUCKED UP. it should be a crime for him to hide all that perfection under stupid sweaters.

and ya.... ya. i think gep would have a lot of conflicted emotions bout the hideout n the time he spent there. like he feels confused bout missing any or it or remembering any of that experience fondly. it was inarguably one the worst experiences of his life. while his sisters were searching for him, his guards dead in the snow, he shouldntve been enjoying himself at all. n he feels bad that he misses the place n the sound of the wind pounding on the walls and sampo humming in the other room and the constant buzz of those beaten up heaters and the stiff uncomfortable sofa sampo slept on. its kinda that complicated thing of like... feeling 'wrong' for missing or thinking fondly of aspects from/around a traumatic experience. n gepard at some points gotta come to terms w it n realize he Can in fact miss it without it being like a betrayal to his fallen comrades or his sisters. but also he gotta realize half of what he misses from back then is just... sampo.

[hernandofuentess]

Gloria’s, played by America, full monologue

“You are so beautiful and so smart and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. We have to always be extraordinary but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

“We have to be thin but not too thin, and we can never say we want to be thin you have to say you want to be healthy. But also you have to be thin.

“You have to have money but you can’t ask for money. Because that’s crass. You have to be a boss but you can’t be mean. You have to lead but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother but you don’t talk about your kids all the damn.

“You have to be a career woman, but also look out for other people.

“You have to answer for men’s bad behavior which is insane but if you point that out you’re accused of complaining. Because you’re supposed to stay pretty for men but not so pretty you tempt them too much or you threaten other women. Because you’re supposed to be part of the sisterhood but always stand out.

“And always be grateful but never forget that the system is rigged so find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.

“You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard, its too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal and says thank you. And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong but also everything is your fault.

“I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single woman tie herself into knots so that people like us. If all of that is also true of a doll just representing a woman, then I don’t even know.”

[illfoandillfie]

Trifle

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader

Words: 634

Warnings: roger is a bored child lmao

A/N: Short but sweet! this one came about because i’m in charge of one of the desserts for my family’s xmas lunch (i’m not doing a trifle because i don’t like alcohol or cream, two key ingredients lmao) and think any cooking experience would be better with a v cute but slightly annoying bf who’s only there to eat scraps.

“Stop trying to eat my sponge fingers,” you scolded Roger, slapping his hand away, “you can have whatever’s left over but you’ve got to let me make the bloody thing.” “Well you’re the one who’s taken up the kitchen all day making lovely custard and jelly and then telling me I'm not allowed any.” He playfully bumped his hip against yours before turning around and hauling himself to sit up on the kitchen counter. “You can have some in two days at your mum’s place.” Roger poked his tongue out but stopped trying to steal the sponge fingers as you soaked them in sherry and fit them along the base and sides of your trifle bowl. He just watched you work, kicking his legs as they dangled.  

But silence had never been Roger’s forte and before long he was talking again, “It’s very impressive.” “I’ve only just started. Most of its not even in the bowl yet.” “No, I mean that you even know how to make a trifle at all.” “It’s not exactly hard,” you shrugged, just throwing layers of things into a big bowl.” “But with homemade custard. And you always get just the right ratios of everything,” You tried to shrug his complements off but couldn’t totally hide how good they made you feel. This dessert was the one thing you’d been asked to bring to Roger’s family Christmas dinner so you wanted it to be good which was why you’d decided to make custard from scratch. It wouldn’t be your first time meeting his family but it would be your first extended trip to visit them – a whole week staying at his mum’s place – so you wanted to impress. And a trifle was how you’d do it.   “I used to help nan make them when I was a kid. She’d make a really boozy one for the grownups and then a smaller non-alcoholic one for the kids.” “I think she’d be pretty proud if she saw you making this one. Especially when she saw you being nice to your adoring, complimentary boyfriend by giving him a sponge finger.” You snorted, “Not until I’ve done the second layer of them, I need to make sure I’ve got enough.” “If you let them soak longer they’d be softer and you could squish them out to cover more of the bowl. And then you’d definitely have enough.” “That’s the worst suggestion anyone had ever made. The texture of the sponge fingers is key to a good trifle. If they’re too moist then not even the best custard in the world will save it. Besides there’s more sherry in there than you think, it definitely doesn’t need more. Especially since it’ll have the next two days in the fridge to set and soak up all the flavour.” Roger hummed thoughtfully, “if this is going to be tempting me for two days then I think I should definitely get one now.” You shook your head in exasperation, “You can have the end I broke off one finger to make it fit into the bowl.”   Roger looked at the quarter of a finger you held out to him, “Soaked in sherry?” Despite your best efforts you had to laugh, giving the piece a healthy dunk before you handed it over.

Roger took it gleefully and immediately shoved the whole thing into his mouth. “Right, stop distracting me,” You reached for a tea towel to wipe your fingers clean, ready to move on to the next layer. “Can I have another broken off bit?” Roger asked, still chewing the first. “Okay, but only if you start helping me. Can you grab the custard and jelly out of the fridge please?” Roger slipped of the bench, eager to help as you dunked another end piece into the alcohol.”

[severussnapedamagedlove]

Chapt 22: The Wrong Place

[feyd rautha harkonnen x OC] [Dune]

These two gifs are the general vibe ❤❤

Here's a glance at the chapter⏬

Feyd ordered breakfast a second time in my chambers. The spread presented to me as my meal was equally disappointing as the first. I stared at a pair of bulged eyes atop a long scaly fish, pickled eggs, mushed bean paste, and a Harkonnen favorite, pickled eyes.

My stomach soured to the point of pain as I observed each selection.

“What is this that you have served me?” I scowled.

If he was still trying to amend the fracture in our relationship, this was not aiding him.

“Your staff used to serve you some of these things. To ensure you were healthy. Now that we know for sure, you should feed your body what it needs before it withers away. You are so small.”

“My staff did not feed me eggs or eyes, Feyd.”

“We had to be subtle then.”

My hands dropped the teacup to the table. “You have plotted with my staff.”

He shrugged. “It was more of a hint that you would be with child soon and to take extra care.”

Yet another reminder of his betrayal.

I begrudgingly ate the beans and eggs - though it was a struggle to swallow the egg once its chewy texture touched my tongue. The fish and eyes were pushed to him. My nose could not bear the smell. The idea of eating them was…unbearable.

“Just how long did you intend to hide this from me?” I questioned between swallows of cooked oats and grains. His eyes followed the motions of my utensils, which tempted my urge to yell.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re angry,” he marveled like a smitten puppy.

I frowned. “I do not feel beautiful when I feel like this. It’s disgusting and the only thing I want to do is make it disappear.”

“Good, isn’t it?”

Both of my hands slammed down.

“No. It’s not good, Feyd.” I shook my head. “How can you adore this emotion? I’m so sick and tired and feel slimey. Is this how you want to feel forever?”

He read my face for a moment, and the awe was promptly tucked away.

He propped a palm against the tabletop as he spoke. “Explain it to me.”

“If you don’t understand it-.”

“I don’t,” he interjected. “But I want to. I see it vexes you. That is not what I want to make you feel. I’m a man of pleasures.”

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to him to bring it back to that topic.

“I don’t need reminding,” I sighed.

“Your pleasures.” He smirked. “My lady is the only one I pleasure. Now tell me, why pain is not good? How does it feel to you? It is an agony to endure, but there is no sudden relief when it’s done that excites you?”

Pain.

It was the only language he spoke.

But, that was pain he survived. Pain, he endured.

That high, I could understand. It was not for me.

But, with how little true connection he had to people, what did it matter if people were in pain? In fact, their pain meant only good things for him. He was rewarded, praised. As I considered it now, I saw how he associated killing someone as a task done to receive a reward.

Eventually, the rewards ran dry. The wants diminished, and the void still demanded feeding.

I knew that reality all too well.

A breath slipped through my pursed lips. Floods of fear - now loose from the containment I’d kept them locked away in for so long - injected into my blood. I felt its hot ice all throughout me. The desire to run, to scream, to close my eyes and pretend it all away.

Feyd deserved to learn it from someone. Even if it was too late to feel.

[raayllum]

While I think the show could easily make a plot line where Callum leaves to try and protect his loved ones work quite well characterization wise (although I do lean towards it either not happening or not lasting for more than an episode or two, but who knows), I think said plot line wouldn’t actually bring about the conclusion people have typically had in mind for it.

1) Rayla leaving was a trauma response. It wasn’t a good decision and it wasn’t a healthy decision. The crew has gone on record several times that it was a form of self-punishment for ‘failing,’ how it plays into her martyr/saviour complex, and that it was brought on partially by tortured dreams. If Callum leaves in S5, then, it will also be a trauma response. Not the right thing to do (and I’m sure if he does he’ll get in deep narrative shit for it in some capacity, unless Rayla stops him), but an understandable thing to do.

2) Callum always understood why Rayla left. This is more opinion based, but I think we see it clearly in TTM (he wanted to go with her, he got why it mattered to her so much) and he also knows Rayla loves him. Rayla being a hero and protecting others (even protecting him) is one of the things he loves most about her: “She does what’s right even when it puts her own life at risk [...] That’s what makes her a hero. That’s what makes her Rayla.” His big issue was that he felt abandoned by her because she didn’t let him go with her. In S4, then, he’s making this behavioural pattern she has about him, even when it existed long before him (and has existed long after). In 4x09 with his, “I know,” he’s accepting that this is outside of his control. He does understand where it comes from, to a degree. He’ll just never entirely like it (or want this to be her path). 

3) Possible repetition in Callum being brought, physically and emotionally back from the Brink, in a space he’s cognizant of. Like Callum being tempted or forced to join Team Bad Guy, this could also veer into similar territory of being too similar to breaking him free of brainwashing, if/when the show takes that direction as well. Now, TDP loves its repetition amid escalated stakes, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility, but it will mean either Rayla or someone else trying to talk him down twice, if not three times (aka he has to eventually be able to throw off the brainwashing, soo). 

4) What conclusion does it actually leave us with? Presented in this capacity, Callum leaving would mostly fuel Rayla’s character arc, not necessarily his own. Callum does not need to leave to understand why Rayla did; and as stated before, no amount of understanding is going to make that the right thing to do. The lesson that needs to be learned is for Rayla to realize that this pattern and cycle is Not It, even if it’s what she’s seen in her family, and to acknowledge how much she hurt Callum in doing so, yes, but also that she hurt herself. While Callum leaving would make Rayla realize how much it fucking sucks, perhaps, in full, it would still give her a deeper understanding of either 1) Callum’s pain or 2) her own pain by proxy of seeing someone else repeat her self-destructive patterns. Her choosing to break this pattern because of seeing Callum playing it out, and both of them finding healing together could be very cathartic, but it would still ultimately be (as far as I see it for now) a Rayla centric arc. Which I’m not against whatsoever, but I see this plot beat framed as a Callum centric moment, and I just really don’t think it exactly will be, if it goes this way.