#i know it's taking me a while to answer these lol but i will get to them all!

[karuuhnia]

TF2 Chapter 7 - Karuuhnia's analysis

Christmas came early for the TF2 fandom this year, didn't it? (Well, it really came 7 years LATE if we're completely honest lol)

It was an emotional rollercoaster and had a happy, wholesome ending and conclusion for both the mercs and for us. Several mysteries from the past comics were resolved.

And you know me: I love to overthink and overanalyze every bit of lore and story that I can get my fingers on lmao

So here's my essay:

A) Solved mysteries

1. What the Administrator was planning

It turns out: There WAS no evil plan of world domination or whatever. Just pure hatred for a man who ruined her life - apparently. It's been so long she doesn't even remember the reason. But the thought of revenge was enough to fuel her every life choice.

And to think, it all could have ended in the 1850s already - if it weren't for smart-ass Gray Mann and his narcissistic tendencies to brag about his knowledge and plans. (How he himself figured this out is never explained.)

He was the one who introduced the Administrator to Australium in the first place, around 1850ish. If he hadn't told her that it could bring people back from the dead and prolong life, the senseless Gravel War would have ended with Blutarch's and Redmond's natural deaths.

Well, on the other hand we must be glad that the conflict didn't go on even longer.

Since Dell stated that none of his family members ever went into the room where Zepheniah was kept, the Administrator must have build all of that herself, right? That would certainly explain why it looks so crude and consumes so much Australium. I mean, look at this construction and then compare it to the one Dell built:

The Mark 5 machine gave her ~6 months of life for just a tiny flask of Australium. Imagine what would have happened if one of the Conaghers had improved Zeph's machine as well! She could have kept the zombiefied corpse in a living nightmare for many centuries more instead of burning through tons and tons of Australium so quickly. Good thing it didn't come to that.

2. Who helped the Administrator

Well, we didn't get a clear answer, but I think it's safe to conclude now that it was the Administrator's elite merc teams A-E that obtained all the Australium during the 6 months Miss Pauling and the TF2 team went off the grid. Which only further proves that the Administrator did not really care for Pauling at all and only came to her and her "team of rejects" as a last resort, after everything else had failed.

It's really heartbreaking how much Pauling admired her and wanted to be her trusted second-in-command while the Admin apparently never even invited her to the secret HQ. Nobody there even KNEW of Team Fortress after all. It was such a relief to see Pauling let go in the end and choose a free life instead.

3. Scout's second chance

Well, not really a mystery here, but I really like how Scout had an epiphany that there were other girls out there that would like him as he was and moved on from Miss Pauling. There was no heartbreak, no animosity, no rejection. They are still friends and support each other! I love it!

And then Scout even saved all of humanity by having sex with several women so that God wouldn't have to destroy the world! What a great, selfless guy he is!

I really love Spy and Scout after the time skip. No more bickering, no more annoyance, no more mean comments, just kindness. Spy is also so sweet to his grandchildren! ADSGFSDAF

I hope they all remain in contact and on good terms. Because let's not forget: Scout's health isn't good and he even has a confirmed death date. Which is only 8 years into the future of 1979.

All of his orphaned children would still be minors at that point. When it comes to that I hope Spy and Scout's Ma can take care of their grandchildren.

4. What Charles Darling and Maggie were planning

Darling stated he wanted to obtain Australium in order to make his rare animals immortal and in return he would get Saxton's company back.

The way Maggie always reacted to Saxton led me to believe she knew Darling was planning something ELSE and she felt bad for not telling Saxton and having to betray him in the end:

But turns out, I probably just misinterpreted Maggie's facial expressions. She looked so sad because she loved going on adventures with Saxton again and just hated the thought that he'd go back to Mann Co. afterwards.

I'm very happy that in the end Saxton let go of the company and spent the rest of his days punching wild animals with his true love! (Although he might have started a war again, now between Reddy and Bidwell lol)

B) Unsolved and new mysteries

However, as much as I loved the last chapter, I feel there are still a lot of things that were never cleared up or adequately explained.

So after re-reading every single comic and update page these are some other things I still find inconclusive:

1. Olivia Mann's mother

Not really that important to be fair, but still: Is she really the biological daughter of the 150 old mummy Gray Mann? If so, who is the poor woman who… mated with him and where is she now?

Or was Olivia adopted, abducted or grown in a lab? Well, at least she gets to live a happy and free life now and is provided for by the dad who stepped up. Good on you, Saxton!

2. Darling's knowledge

Back to Darling real quick: Why DID Maggie start working for her nemesis?

HOW did Charles Darling learn about Australium's properties and the Administrator's history?

There is also the fact that the Mann triplets' mother was a Darling!

These things were never brought up again! Whyyyyyyyy?????

3. What was all the set-up with the TFC mercs about?

The TFC mercs made several ominous remarks that made us believe there was more to them:

Both Virgil and Greg were trying to say something interesting, but then got cut off before the revelation. And especially TFC Heavy talked about dying as if it was an immediate danger to all of them. Sure, they were old, but they were still going strong, being able to kill all of the Admin's elite teams after all.

4. Fred's destiny (and identity?)

In Chapter 6 Spy disguised as Fred, trying to trick Virgil. After being found out, the two had this conversation:

Spy managed to impersonate Fred really well apparently. That means he must have studied Fred's personality, mannerisms and way of speaking before he went to Virgil. That also means he must have spent quite a while talking to and studying Fred. Did he and Sniper capture and interrogate him? But more importantly: What happened afterwards? Tbh, they probably just killed him off-screen after learning what they needed.

Because I no longer believe that Fred was Dell's father, as much as that sucks. It would have made for a great plot point and possible conflict within the team.

But Fred obviously had no idea about anything related to Australium or the immortality machines.

Since later on in Chapter 7 Dell says that neither his grandfather, his father nor he himself ever set foot in that basement, we can conclude that they all knew that the Administrator was hiding something nefarious down there. Which also means they WORKED for her and thus must have also worked on her immortality machine. So it makes no sense that Fred would not know anything about that if he really were Dell's father.

That still leaves us with the question: Why was young Fred in the photo with child Dell? Or WAS this guy even Fred?

I mean, a lot can happen in 40ish years between those two pictures:

But my new headcanon now is: These two are not the same person. TFC Medic had to replaced by our beloved Dr. Herbert Ludwig (still not over that name btw lmao), so who says the original TFC Engie wasn't replaced too at one point? TFC Heavy was very obviously worried about his friends dying one after the other.

Virgil said he knew Fred since before the war. So maybe after Dell's father died/left the team, Virgil told TFC Heavy about his old comrade Fred who also happened to be an Engineer. And only then Fred became part of TFC.

But as I said, that's just my headcanon. In reality it's probably just an inconsistency over the many years of convoluted lore. lol

5. Soldier's cave, covered in Australium

In A Cold Day in Hell Soldier and Zhanna have the following conversation:

First it's a stink-barn, then he claims to be homeless. But in Chapter 7 Heavy suddenly says that Soldier lives in a cave.

And it turns out there is tons of Australium in that cave! Now of course I wonder: When did Soldier move into that cave and where is it located? We were always told that Australium only exists in Australia. But I highly doubt this American patriot owns a cave in Australia. Also, how is it possible that the Admin and the elite mercs never managed to find this cave? Did they just not bother to look in America because all known Australium is in Australia?

So in return, does that mean that Australium is NOT exclusive to Australia after all? If so, there could still be hidden caches of the stuff anywhere on Earth. At least the Admin and Gray Mann are no longer around to collect it and Miss Pauling does not look for it anymore either. The only one who still has an interest in it is Charles Darling. Him again...

6. Soldier with the photo of the Mann family

Quick reminder: This is the only version of the family photo we'd seen up until this point:

But when Soldier and Merasmus are held by the mafia and the wizard asks him why he needed so much money, Soldier pulls out an intact, unteared photograph of the Mann family!!!

His thumb conveniently covers up the still unknown person standing in the middle. How did Soldier obtain this photo? How does he even know who everyone is, considering he's, well, Soldier?

Could he have any relations to the unknown person in the middle? And why DOES he need so much money (granted, it was only like 20 $ in the end, but still lol)?

Am I just overthinking this? Has anyone an explanation??? Is he and if yes, HOW is Soldier connected to the frigging Mann family??????

*cough* Anyway. This concludes my analysis of the TF2 lore. For now. If I come up with more things or if Valve ever decides to continue the story (That was a joke, haha, fat chance), I will come back to this. In the meantime, thank you for reading this and please feel free to share your own ideas and opinions! I'd love to read all of it! ❤️

[jocelynscrazyideas]

Illuminating ||

Jack Hughes x reader

-a ficsmas fic-

(not proof read)

⋆❅⋆⍋⋆❅⋆ ⋆❅⋆⍋⋆❅⋆ ⋆❅⋆⍋⋆❅⋆ ⋆❅⋆⍋⋆❅⋆ ⋆❅⋆⍋⋆❅⋆

Jack likes to get pizza after a good game. Lately the Devils have been doing pretty decent, so Jack has been having cheat days

In fact Jack has been saying he’s done with the healthy life;

“I’m so done with those gross green smoothies.”

“so glad im not on that diet anymore.”

~

Tonight, the devils play the Canucks. If we lose we will get pizza, and if we win… we will get pizza. Tonight is a special night. It’s the Hughes brawl.

“Babe!” I yell for Jack. I’m making a green smoothie for him. Luke walks out of his room. “Ooo. Nice.” He laughs.

“Do you want one?” I offer.

“Hell yeah.” Luke takes the cup of green liquid that I set out for Jack. I really have no problem with it. I was going to make one for luke anyway.

“Jack!” Luke screams for him.

“I’m coming Lukey.” He barked back.

Luke, ironically loves the green smoothies, apparently they "cut the junk food out of his system."

“Try it. It’s sooo good.” Luke sips out again. He stumbles over a yoga block I was using for Pilates last night. “Oops. Sorry Luke.” I laugh.

“It’s alright.” Luke snarls. He sits in a recliner in the small living room. He turns the TV on. “Jack.”

“What.” Jack answered- in a ‘I’m annoyed’ kind of tone.

The Jersey house is always so chaotic. Luke always stretching and working out, or playing games on the living room set up. Jack doing whatever with Luke or causing trouble with me. I'm always in the room Jack and I share doing work. Sometimes late at night Luke screams in his room from playing Fortnite or watching a stupid play from the game before.

“Remember. Tonight Y/n and I are getting pizza.” Jack waves infront of Luke’s face. Motioning to see if Luke is listening.

“Yeah- alright- Jack! Jack! Move I can’t see the screen.” Luke moves his head to see the cartoon that’s playing. “Yeah I got it! You two lovers are gonna go on a pizza date! Now move!” Luke hits jacks hand out of his face.

“Okay bye Lukey.” Jack laughs. He grabs my cold hand and takes me upstairs to our room.

Tonight, I’m dropping the boys off at the rink, and I’ll be at home watching the live stream of the game. “I wish you could be there tonight.” Jack whines.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry bubs. I just have to much writing to do for the meeting tomorrow.”

I work for a large company in the PR field. Im in charge of sales tonight.

~

We're running a few minutes behind. Jack can't find his phone, Luke is in the car warming up and I'm calling Jack's phone to help my clumsy boyfriend find the stupid phone.

"Jack!" I yell from the door. Jack comes stroming down the stairs with a smile on his face.

He waves his hands up in the air. "Found it." he laughs. Jack runs out to the car and i zoom into the drivers seat.

~

Jack kisses me before jumping out of the car. Luke follows after, I wish them a goodluck and pop the back open for their gear, they set their bags off to the equipment manager and run inside.

~

I did lots of my speech, and collected data. I look up at the tv screen. Jack scored the 6th goal against Vancouver. 3rd period is about to end and I jump into the car again. Luke is hitching a ride from Curtis, apparently Lazar was going to take Luke home and make him babysit while Curtis and his wife go out- not that I have Curtis yeh idea.

-

“I’m so excited!!” Jack almost bursts out of his seat. The devils had an amazing win against the Canucks. Fortunately, this can make Jack really horny or really cuddly tonight.

Jack places his hands onto my thighs while I drive, Jack tells me directions to this new downtown place he never seen. “I don’t understand why we couldn’t just go to new York. It’s only 15 minutes away.” I whined.

“Because.” Jack responds. He plays with my hair and looks at me star struck. The starts shine in his eyes.

“Look of love huh.” I tease him a bit.

Jack blushed and halts his hands up. “Stop!” He screamed.

I look at him lol he’s crazy. “I wa showing to! It’s a stop sign.” I scoff. Annoyed but in love. I lower his hand and asked him to pony me to the next street.

“Park. We can walk. Please, it’ll be fun. Like one of your stupid rom-coms.” Jack smiled maliciously.

~

After parking in the street I double checked that my car was locked and nothing valuable was in sight. Jack grabbed my hand. It was so pretty out. The dark sky hover over us, but the street lamps shine a pathway for us- even better the stars above us made a beautiful view. We looked so happy and proud of eachother. The trees a little dead. Snow on the ground. The cobblestone sidewalk getting slippery and slippery up the hill we’re walking on.

“Right here.” Jack motioned his head to the right of us.

Of course, hack has the sidewalk rule down. He is on the left side if the right sidewalk and we’re walking at a slow place so I can browse at all of the trinkets the stores have for show.

We walk into the pizza shop and it immediately gets warm, and smells like garlic and cheese. “Holy pizza galore.” Jack laughs, he pulls my closer. I’m wearing low rider flared jeans, and a cute white sweater. Underneath I have a sexy lacy bralette and a black tank top to keep me warm. Jack has in his DREW hoodie and some grey sweatpants. I look cute, and he looks hobo-ish.

“Did you take-”

“Yes baby. I took a shower after the game.” Jack finished my sentence. He pulls out his wallet, “what do you want?” He points at the menu.

“Umm. Pepperoni duo with the fries and bacon.” I whisper in his ear. I feel like a fat baby when I order. That’s something Jack admired. He loves that I’m not scared to eat in front of him.

“Hey!” He starts up with the owner, “yeah uh I’d like two pepperoni pizza and the duo with the fries and bacon.” He hands the guy his card and pulls his wallet out to put his card away after.

My hand is on jacks back, “babe.” I said under my breath. Letting Jack know that he needs to tip.

“Right.” He whips his wallet out again. He slides in $20 into the tip jar and we wait for our order.

~

We walk around for a good spot to eat. Our pizza is blazing hot, and our loaded fries are bubbling form the cheese and bacon. “Here.” I stop. There are some benches at the coast.

“Look at NYC.” We stare at the beautiful city across from us. “Beautiful.” Jack replies and he smiles at me.

“How smooth.” I laugh and nudge Jack in the side. I kiss Jack on his warm lips. Jack pulls me into his lap. I sit in between his legs and my chest holds his food while mine are in my lap. We watch the stars and talk about life.

Jack puts his cold hands down my back to warm himself. My black tank top slides down as Jack slides his hands down my underclothes. “Oh” Jack mutters.

He lifts his chin up and kissed the top of my head. “How beautiful.” He mutters. He feels the Victoria secret bra o have on. “How beautifully done you are tonight.” He says in an old English accent.

I laugh and hold his other hand that isn’t in my shirt.

He picks me up and kisses me. I feel his tounge deep through my lips, his soft overgrown stubble scratching at me. I pull him closer. My arms wrapped around his neck, I’m on my tip toes as Jack pulls me up higher. Jack lifts me up all the way, he scoops under my ass. I hold in while Jack picks up our trash and walks over to the trash. My legs wrap around his torso. The stars illuminate above us, twinkling. Making this moment so special.

Just like the Rom-Coms we watch.

~

We danced for hours under the moon. Then of course Luke asked if we could pick up some Chinese food for him and as the best future sister in law I stop Jack from kissing me more and grab Luke his stupid food.

[genderqueerdykes]

hi hello Equinox! I've been looking into the possibility of having hEDS myself and was wondering if y'all could talk about some of your experiences with it? only if you're comfortable of course very not forced lol :D

hey, sure! i hope some of this will be helpful to you!

an ex pointed out that i might have had it back in ~2020. he commented on how velvety smooth my skin is (i do not moisturize all over, it's just like this) along with how stretchy it is, and how flexible some of my joints are. i was not able to confirm it for a while until 2023 when i started going to physical therapy for my lower back. there, both in the intake and when i was doing exercises, my therapists all asked me if i had hEDS, due to how fair i can stretch, and how i naturally over extend my knees without realizing it. it lead me to laugh and say, "Well, I guess I do!"

i've always been more flexible than most people around me, even for someone who's 320 lbs, i am still more flexible than most people i know. when i was in high school, there were some flexibility tests that our entire PE class had to do, and i was the one who could stretch the farthest, even though i was 300 lbs even at that stage in my life. as i got older, i realized it's extremely easy to injure myself on accident and that that's NOT normal. i don't and have never cracked my knuckles on purpose because all it does is shift my knuckles out of place

it's very easy for me to pinch nerves and muscles between my joints, even when i'm being careful. sometimes it happens in my sleep or even while i'm just sitting stock still. i actually have a pinched nerve in my forearm right now from a wrist injury that has never healed properly. speaking of that, with it being super easy to injure myself, sometimes, i don't recover from those injuries for a long time, or at all. i got a microfracture in my left forearm from punching an object out of rage while being emotionally abused by someone in January of 2024 and it is nearly January of 2025 and it is not healed at all. i'm in PT for it right now and it's getting somewhat better, but not by much

wound healing is a mixed bag for me, sometimes i'm alright with it but generally it takes a long time and i'm very prone to scarring. even relatively light cuts can cause a scar. my teeth are also very weak because of this. the connective tissue that should keep them rooted in place in my gums is weak, and i've lost 2 teeth so far because of it. i still do my best to brush my teeth, but i just have naturally weak connective tissue that isn't able to protect my teeth from infections as well as others. i've had VERY bad dental pain and have gotten lots of infections in my teeth over the years, to the point of needing antibiotics several times

if i think of anything else, i'll let you know! if you have any more questions, i'm happy to answer whatever i can! good luck in your journey, fortunately it's generally pretty easy for medical professionals to tell if you have hEDS or not- they'll generally ask you to do some very light stretches (sometimes even just seeing how far your fingers bend/extend) and can tell pretty easily just by looking at how your joints bend and behave. take care of yourself for now!

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Marriage AU needed its justice lol

-

Adam and Lucifer were sitting together in the living room while Nifty was cleaning the place with such passion, the Devil waited patiently for Adam’s answer to his offer. He knew he’d need time, obviously.

Adam: So let me get this straight. I, give my soul to you, and in return you’ll be giving me protection?

Lucifer: Yup, that’s it! And you’ll be under my care and service and all that.

That made the tiny maid interested. The ultimate bad boys, getting in a situationship? Ohohoho.

Nifty: Ooh, what do we have here?

She secretly went behind Adam’s chair and pretended to swipe there, she always wanted to know if these two had anything to do together.

Adam: Under your service? What’s that supposed to mean?

Lucifer: Means you’ll be under my command and control, obviously. A little payback.

Adam really, REALLY hated the idea but he supposed he didn’t have much of an other choice. Even though Lucifer’s face made him want to punch him.

Adam:.. Fine. What will I be signing?

Lucifer: I am working on it, don’t worry.

Adam: You better.

He got up and left leaving Lucifer sighing and doing as well. On his way he didn’t notice the short pink maid following him.

((I hope this is good for a start? Idk.))

((That's a great start!! Can this one take priority 🥺))

Lucifer went into his office at the hotel, he needed to put the finishing touches on Adams soul contract. He couldn't believe that he was going to get to own his soul.

Nifty watched as he wrote the contract and then left to go to bed. He had left the contract open to let the ink dry. She rushed over and looked at it and read it.

Well this needs adjustments! This works more in Lucifer's favor than Adam they need something more mutual.

Nifty grabbed a pen and got to work adding everything she wanted to the contract. There!

Nifty: Hehehe perfect.~

She hurried along to bed herself, she had worked on that contract for four hours.

The next day Lucifer rolled up the contract and walked out with it, he brought it to Adam and almost joyously handed him the pen.

Nifty watched from afar, she couldn't wait!

Adam sighed, better than being murdered all the time. That's what he had to tell himself. Hesitantly, he signed his name on the dotted line.

In a flash of gold light, three things appeared on Adams body, a golden soul chain that connected to, a golden pointy crown appeared on his head wrapping around his horns and a gold ring with a diamond on his ring finger.

Lucifer got a matching one.

Adam: Ummm, the fuck is this?

Nifty: YAY!! Congratulations!!

Adam and Lucifer jumped.

Lucifer: Huh? For what?

Nifty: For getting married.

Adam: WHAT!?!

[ariesalpinesavi]

Ram is absolutely short rampage! And to answer you friend, this happened last year, I was driving by the family's house yesterday and was reminded of Dodge.

So this elderly woman, bleeding heart, took in some displaced livestock but these were her first goats and sheep. I went to school with her daughter and she knew I used to show goats as a kid so she called me up and asked if I could help get her new animals hooves trimmed up. They definitely weren't going to be in good shape and definitely hadn't been socialized for it properly, but screw it. I had to be in the area for some other animals anyway and she had Parkinsons so I went out to see them.

So we got there and she had 3 Nubian does, momma and her two adult daughters, plus a fully horned ram - and when I say ram I really mean a RAM. Typically I work with goats, not sheep, so like the first word that comes to mind when I saw this guy was "bucky". I wish so badly that somebody had castrated this ram years ago.

Since this ram came from his previous home where he was being housed with these same does and he was uncastrated i knew he would likely get aggressive. So we tied him to a post inside the barn as I slowly worked on the Nubians bit by bit. I would focus on him once the girls were done.

I was working on some specific obedience training and exposure to livestock with my dog, so I brought her along with me (spoilers thank goodness I did lol) who was just outside the pasture fence.

I was fairly distracted working on the Nubians, they were scared and I was lecturing this woman on things like not feeding the sheep and goats together, keeping collars or halters around, her goats need access to salt and baking soda, ect. the whole time. The woman mentioned that Dodge loves his girls and is very protective of them. I mentioned he probably needs to be castrated, even if it's late now.

I had no idea that while we were catching does and talking, Dodge the ram had broken his tie, smashed through the backdoor and had lined himself up with me. I was bent over, working on the front hoof of a Nubian, head down, when my dog started barking. Looking up to scold her, I saw Dodge at last second as he burst forward. I was able to deflect the skull bash just enough for the Nubian to take the flat of his head with hers. She shook it off no problem but both of their skulls are built like 4 inch thick steel. Mine is absolutely not lol I know not to leave my head low when working around goats and sheep but I really thought he was confined in the barn! And oh boy, he was PISSED that me, some stranger, was chasing his girls around and scaring the shit out of them! He wanted me gone, anyway he could get me gone and saw his chance lol

I went back a couple more times for follow up pedicures and I made absolutely sure not to underestimate Dodge ever again 😂

Occasionally I do farrier work on some friends goat and sheep herds, but I legit can not stop thinking bout this one ram named Dodge who nearly killed me for working on the does he lived with

[danieyells]

I'm not sure why I feel so attracted to the idea of Jiro sedating the MC and touching them over their clothes but not daring to do much more, and later the MC waking up and thinking it was a kind of dream influenced by him taking care of their pre-op "well he was always handsome"

You're attracted to it because it's hot anon 👀 the vulnerability, the drugging, the lack of fulfillment when all he does is grope over your clothes, the uncertainty--i'm always a slut for dub/non-con and drugging oh lord 👀 tell me more anon

And man i sure hope this isn't total gibberish because i wrote it in parts over the course of the day and only finished like now and it's 4am. . . .

I feel a little disappointed in this one, i'll admit lolol and it's not exactly what you described but maybe you'll like it anyway?

Obvious non/dubcon and (consensual, medical) drugging cws. Additional warnings for that the pc is never named and is only referred to as 'they' for the most part, and I left their gender and genitals ambiguous, which makes for some sloppy writing on my part. . . .

They had been helping at Jabberwock a few days prior and they'd been bitten by an anomaly. It was a minor injury but Haru was worried about the side effects. After Towa nearly sent the poor creature to hell, they'd been sent to Mortkranken for examination, to be certain the beast's venom wouldn't have any lasting effects.

It was Yuri who inspected them the first time. Even after spending time helping the medical house, Yuri still made the inspector feel a little on edge. They worried the only thing that kept them from more than basic examination and preventative care was Professor Nicolas' presence.

"Their venom is slow acting." Yuri scoffed after they described the anomaly they'd been affected by. He walked with them after they were discharged, making his way to another patient in the building as he explained before they went their separate ways. "If you go a week without noticing any changes the medicine worked in full. Come back if you start experiencing any unintended muscle movements!"

With that sharp dismissal, they returned to the Cathedral, worrying over every twitch and itch and crawl under their skin.

And three days later they were once again in Mortkranken after a sudden movement of their leg nearly sent them careening down a staircase.

Kaito and Luca had been kind enough to rush them to the infirmary, where Professor Nicolas subsequently had them quickly transported to Mortkranken as the anomalous effects would be better treated there(much to Kaito's dismay.)

A general student saw them into a wheelchair and rolled them inside the office, helping them onto an examination table to make sure another spasm wouldn't cause them any injury. Even as they were brought inside they began to panic as the spasms increased in frequency and spread from their leg into other parts of their body. They shook and twitched against their own wishes, even as Jiro arrived in the exam room with the necessary materials.

"You're moving too much." Jiro sighed on sight, putting down the needle he'd filled without even saying hello. He moved to fetch a fresh one and a small jar of lavender colored fluid. "I'm going to sedate you. You should be okay to fall asleep, if you feel tired. You shouldn't die."

The human tried to find the honest statement and lack of alarm comforting. If they were dying then surely Yuri and Nicolas would have been contacted? Or perhaps their curse or the ring would have counteracted it?

The summer had seen them abandon their blazer in favor of wearing a short sleeve dress shirt, making access to their arm quite simple. Jiro moved to hold their upper arm when another spasm rocked it. After waiting for the jolts to cease, he gripped their arm tight enough to make them wince, disinfected their skin with precision, and jabbed the needle into their upper arm with a little pinch.

The effect was almost immediate as he pushed down the plunger. The moment the fluid entered them they felt fuzzy, their vision swimming as if with exhaustion. The warmth spread and their muscles relaxed, losing most of their strength. Where a convulsion was about to start they felt a much weaker muscle spasm, registering in their mind as barely a crawl of their skin. Once all of the fluid had entered them, the needle was pulled out and discarded in an anomalous container for sharps; the spot was immediately cleaned and bandaged.

The sedative must have had some additional effect, the inspector reasoned. Where Jiro must have had been pressing fingers against the plaster to stop any bleeding, they imagined a long press of his lips.

But that wouldn't make sense.

Or be sanitary wound care.

(Would he even have a concept of 'kissing wounds makes them better'? It didn't seem like he grew up in such a gentle environment.)

Once he was certain the spasms had been relaxed Jiro put on a new pair of gloves and fetched his original needle. "This should kill any of the remaining venom." He explained as he cleaned another patch of skin. "Aside from the initial pinch you shouldn't notice anything odd. Maybe a little burning.

"If you feel anything besides that. . . ." He looked into their eyes, glassy and hazy. Barely there, their mind and body were so numb. For a moment they were able to focus on him, and he seemed to smile in amusement--although, that would be strange for Jiro, so it must have just been the medicine. "Just lie there and drool, I suppose. I'll take care of it."

Any attempt at response failed, their body feeling so limp that even speaking was a task. It felt like a nightmare of helplessness, the kind they'd had many times since coming to Darkwick--unable to move their body and helpless at the mercy of some person or beast. But even through the needles' sharp penetration(barely noticed in the haze of their sedation) they felt surprisingly safe. Perhaps their sleeping mind heard Jiro's blunt explanations and took them as literal as Jiro meant them to be and felt no fear or discomfort. They were helpless and heavy, but not afraid despite it. Like a dream within a dream.

As Jiro had claimed, they feel nothing but a light burn tingling in their veins. A gentle buzz throughout their being. They could almost feel the anomalous medicine working, seeking out the toxicity in their muscles and killing it. Or perhaps the sensitivity was part of their sedative-induced dream.

"Done." Jiro announced. The needle left them, and they were cleaned and bandaged once again. Jiro kissed--or pressed against, more likely--the bandage until the bleeding stopped. They opened their bleary eyes to watch him as he cleaned up. "You'll need to be monitored for about ten minutes, to make sure there are no side effects." He looked back at them lying on the examination table, a limp doll of a human. Not that, compared to Jiro, they were much stronger than a doll to begin with. "Not that you can go anywhere. In your condition."

Was that a laugh, or a sigh? It was a little huff of a sound, something they might as well have had imagined. A lot of things seemed imagined here. Like that Jiro didn't leave to attend to another patient and leave a general student to look after them until they could move again. Yuri would have likely had them put in a chair and wheeled back home with one of their friends. . .or worse, used their helpless body in some sort of experiment.

Perhaps that thought is what made the Jiro in their mind come closer once everything was in order and examine them closely. Had it been ten minutes? Time really didn't seem to have a meaning right now. They tried moving, and found little change in when they were first injected.

"Did I give you too much?" Jiro asked, slipping strong hands under their arms and repositioning them. They managed a sound best(though still poorly) described as a weak squeak in acknowledgement. "It's a strong sedative. If I didn't give it to you the venom might have started coordinating your spasms until it controlled your body. You'll be able to move again eventually."

Once they'd been placed back onto the table in a good position, the head of the table slightly raised, Jiro watched them.

Then, he moved a hand to lightly rest on their sternum.

"You're not breathing very hard." He observed. His hand traveled over to the left, cupping their chest. His other hand went to their neck, resting over their pulse. The palm over their chest started stroking the area through their shirt, heavy and dragging as if absentminded. They tensed, trying to squirm but too weak to do so.

"Your RPM and heart rate are a little high." Jiro noted aloud, though not on any sort of chart. The hand on their neck traced their throat with a thumb. "And you're starting to warm up. An allergic reaction, maybe. . .? You weren't found to be allergic to any of the anomalous medicine we use during your health checks."

The hand on their chest gave the tissue a squeeze. First a soft massaging, then something rougher. The way he spoke was so clinical, they had to assume the contact was little more than a fever dream, the last of the spasms wracking their body in particularly sensitive places and their sleeping mind filling in the blanks with thoughts of their vulnerable body being toyed with by the handsome, stoic doctor.

Even the tweak to one of their nipples wasn't enough to wake them, only enough to elicit another squeak and make them shudder in lieu of squirming or arching their back. Even when the hand on their throat moved to their jaw and traced their lips, sinking into their unresistant mouth to stroke their tongue, they assumed they were dreaming, misinterpreting what was happening in the waking world. Jiro commented on their temperature, thumb teasing the back of their throat until they just barely gagged. He retracted his hand entirely to mind their pebbling nipples with both.

What started so purely as the medical attention they needed had, in some length of time that they couldn't measure through the fog, became a pair of strong and heavy hands tracing down their side and waist, sliding over to grope at their tummy. The muscles beneath weakly tensed at the ticklish feeling, and he gave a little hum in acknowledgement. "It looks like you're getting your strength back, at least."

When he relocated his hands to their hips, they confirmed this slight recovery with a little squirm. He squeezed down, presumably to keep them still. "Relax. You'll need your strength for when you leave."

Presumably, it was to keep them still, although they felt his hands slip beneath to their rear, kneading their ass and tracing their crack through their clothes. When he spread the cheeks, he once again received a whine and a squirm, which he responded to with a rough squeeze as if in punishment. Nonetheless, he moved down to their thighs, similarly admiring their shape and feel, before slipping his hands between and spreading them without a hint of effort on his part.

"Ji--!" Their slurred attempt at speech was disrupted by their choked gasp when Jiro's groping moved to squeeze their crotch. The sudden jolt of pleasure, after being worked up through what felt like hours of slowly being toyed with, was enough to almost push through the muscle relaxants in the sedative for just a moment, letting them arch into the contact. They were still too weak to grind into his hand, however, and he only pushed back enough to get their hips to drop painfully back onto the table.

"I told you to calm down." His fingers traced the shape of their genitals, stroking as if to learn the shape more than to titillate. Jiro was a doctor. He'd personally given them medical examinations where they were wearing much less. He already knew what was there, though not in such intimacy. He didn't like 'pointless' things. He wouldn't see a point in something like this. So it could only be a dream. He massaged them through the fabric of their uniform and underwear, fingers pressing and stroking where heat seeped through the most. They only hoped he couldn't feel the moisture gathering there as well. "Your temperature is going up again."

Watching Jiro's actions was difficult in their exhausted condition. While there was no way they could conceptualize that Jiro would actually do any of this, some part of them desperately wanted to know what Jiro--if only as a product of their imagination--was feeling as he brought them agonizingly slowly towards orgasm.

They blinked through the mist of tears they realized must have been forming along with the drool running down their still parted lips, until Jiro's face came into focus. He was much too close to their lap, so close his even, unhurried breaths could be felt warming them through their clothes. It only added to the stimulation. Jiro was an adult, even if he sometimes seemed quite juvenile, like when he laughed at stag beetles fighting or Yuri struggling not to sleep in class; it was surely impossible that he didn't know what he was doing.

On the other hand, he'd been in a coma for some time, and he had no real consideration for the privacy of others' bodies. . .the intent look of study combined with a tinge of pink on his cheeks as he breathed over their aroused genitals and felt the way the touch of his scarred hands made them change. . . .

It was as if he was using their body to sate some curiosity, rather than truly molest them. Even the way his other hand gripped their clothing, as if considering simply removing it, seemed too explorative to be malicious or manipulative.

Or perhaps they simply thought that way because their angle didn't afford them the sight of his lap, to see if he was, perhaps, getting as aroused as they were.

But Jiro paused in his ministrations, contact returning shortly to simply resting his hand on that sensitive and throbbing area, before he retracted his hands completely. Again, they whinged, squirming at being left alone as Jiro seemed to disappear from the examination table.

"Interesting." What was of interest wasn't quite clear. It occurred to them that their body's responses to their dream were real, and perhaps the real Jiro was made aware of their arousal. It was impossible to tell his reaction from his voice alone, and they writhed in humiliation at being caught in some sort of medically induced wet dream. "It seems like you'll need a little more time to recover."

They held their breath, but the contact never returned. They felt themself cooking down, but still sensitive, as if Jiro's touch was lingering. Occasionally they heard some noise in the examination room--a turning page or a keyboard or computer mouse or writing implements on paper. Occasionally a noise from a phone, or a distant echo from out in the hall. But for the most part, all they heard was a strangely loud and hazy silence.

At some point, the dream turned to void, as if they'd fallen asleep inside of it.

When they came to, the world had much less of a layer of fog over it. Their body still felt heavy, but not so much so that they couldn't move it. Sounds were a bit sharper, and yet they heard less as if their senses had been heightened in their sleep. Yuri was scolding Jiro, something about dawdling in here with the sleeping patient when there was work to be done.

"They had a reaction to the antivenom." Jiro explained, his voice coming closer. As usual his footfalls were shockingly quiet, and they would have never known he was coming near if he weren't speaking. They squinted into the strong lights, raising an arm to cover their face. "They're awake now, so I'll discharge them."

"Fine. But hurry up! You know what happens when you're late for your medicine, and I won't tolerate your complaints if you're the cause of your own delay!" Yuri stormed out, likely to prepare Jiro's medication, not even acknowledging them despite having had seen them out when they first checked in days prior.

Jiro, meanwhile, presented them with a light snack of crackers and a juice box. "I would recommend eating a meal and getting some rest once you get home. That sedative wasn't made for restful sleep."

They cleared their throat after taking a few sips of juice. "You said I had a reaction. . . ."

"Yes."

"What. . .happened. . .?"

"Increased temperature, heart rate, and respiration." Jiro explained, watching them eat.

"Did you do anything to stop them. . .?" They really wanted to ask if it was truly a product of the antivenom, but feared sounding accusatory over what was likely a dream.

"No. They weren't at a dangerous level. I just kept an eye on them so make sure they didn't get worse."

They nodded, sipping their juice again. "And the sedative can give you strange dreams? You said it isn't made for restful sleep. . . ."

"Your body is forced to sleep without your mind being put into a restful place first. It would be like falling asleep with something on your mind, making you more likely to dream about it. So, yes, that would likely be the case."

They heaved a somewhat disappointed sigh, tilting the last of their snack crackers into their mouth. "That's good, I think. . .I'm glad that's all that happened."

"If you say so."

That response felt off. Jiro took their trash and threw it away, fetching the wheelchair they were rolled in on to help them into it. He put a hand on their back, making them jump as they were gently pushed to the edge of the lowered bed to sit up.

"What do you mean? That's all that happened, isn't it?"

"It already happened." Jiro said dismissively, putting his hands under their arms to lift them up(again?) and sit them into the chair, not trusting their legs just yet. "I don't see a point in worrying what happened between your treatment and now."

The cursed inspector tried to formulate a response that could convince Jiro to share what he meant--even if all he said was that he had read a medical journal, or that he'd adjusted them in bed a few times--but knowing Jiro they couldn't think of a way to get him to talk. They squeezed their thighs together, feeling their genitals throb from the orgasm denial, the unfulfillment of their dream that might have been reality. But they were already back in the Mortkranken lobby, where Luca greeted them with a kind smile, approaching.

"Can you walk?" He asked as Jiro locked the chair. They set one leg on the floor and, though it felt heavy, they could definitely balance enough to get up and stumble over to Luca on wobbly legs before giving a weak nod. "I'm glad to hear it. It looks like you've recovered well. Are they clear to return home, Doctor Kirisaki?"

"Just Jiro is fine." Jiro looked them over once more. It was surely their imagination that his gaze lingered on their crotch--where they squeezed their thighs together tightly, remembering their dizzy dream and just how close his lips were before he pulled away--as opposed to their slightly wobbling legs. "They're a fall risk until they've had a meal and some rest. But they're safe for discharge."

A general Mortkranken student trotted up, offering the scholarship student their discharge paperwork and instructions, then collected the wheelchair for sensitization and storage once the papers were taken. They and Lucas thanked them kindly, and Jiro as well. He simply nodded in response, before they began to make their way out the door.

The cursed human took one final look back at Jiro, who simply tilted his head at them like so many of the cats around campus. Then he winced and turned away, stumbling towards the basement to receive his medication.

About two or three hours later, they received a WickChat message.

Jiro: You implied you experienced an odd dream as an effect of the sedative. This may also have been a yet unseen reaction between the sedative and the antivenom. Jiro: For the sake of proper documentation, would you be able to expound upon the dream at all? It's okay if you can't remember everything. Any details would be valuable to the understanding of anomalous medicine and its effects on humans and individuals afflicted by curses.

Their heart pounded. Telling Jiro what they dreamed of could be valuable information, but could they really bear the humiliation of it? Of explaining that they'd had a nearly wet dream about him, while he was in the room with them? Would Jiro even think anything of it, oblivious as he is to emotional matters?

Jiro: If it helps, a date for you to be sedated again could be arranged. You could be attached to a brain wave monitor, so your memory won't need to be relied upon. Jiro: Perhaps the dream will reoccur. I'll be sure to thoroughly extract something of value, so the experience isn't wasted.

Perhaps it was his use of 'thoroughly extracting value', but the thought crossed their mind that they hadn't been dreaming at all, and that Jiro mayhaps wanted to finish what he started. But it wouldn't make sense from the get go for it to have had been real. . . .

And yet they remembered Jiro's talk of prescribing death to others and dismissing ethics.

There was no point in discussing the ethics of something that had already been done, he said.

Perhaps some of the experience was real. He wouldn't have had been so cryptic about what had happened while they slept if nothing had occurred, would he?

Although, he was often cryptic about things, so perhaps that was merely coincidence and they were getting their hopes up--

Jiro: A prompt response would be appreciated. 'No' is an acceptable response, as well.

They scrambled to type a response, realizing they'd left him on read.

8636: I don't know how well I can recall. . . . 8636: I'm willing to be re-sedated, though! 8636: Before I agree to it, may I ask a potentially non-medical question? Jiro: I can't stop you from asking questions over WickChat. 8636: What happened while I was sedated today? After I was given the antivenom?

There was a pause, but no typing for a while. Then the general Mortkranken WickChat messaged them with appointment information.

8636: Jiro? Jiro: ? 8636: I didn't see a response, so I was just checking in. . . . Jiro: I didn't agree to answer the question.

A fair, if disappointing response.

Jiro: Just know I attempted to administer a holistic remedy to an unanticipated physiological response that arose during your treatment.

The response took a little longer to parse. As realization dawned on them, the next message came in.

Jiro: It didn't work as intended, as I'm not very experienced with such methods or concerns. Perhaps you noticed your continued affliction after discharge, and your discharge instructions. Jiro: Should the same issue arise, I've done more research.

They covered their face in embarrassment.  The discharge instruction "administer personal relief as needed" made much more sense now. They desperately hoped the Mortkranken student who handed them their discharge instructions hadn't read it first.

Accepting this explanation, they hastily sent an apology and threw themself down in bed, covering their face. Did they have to go to the appointment!? Jiro had only been trying to help them, albeit in an extremely questionable way. . .and somehow the thought that he had done more research to better serve the need in question. . .it was embarrassing, despite that they were the victim. They were able to excuse it, rationalizing that they were attracted to Jiro anyway and the idea alone felt exciting, but now walking into it as though it were any other medical procedure felt. . .insincere.

Resolving to perhaps cancel the appointment and try and get Jiro to have a talk with them about ethics, they dozed off, trying to ignore the returning heat and throbbing between their legs.

When they next awoke, it was to a small pinch, like the needles they'd recieved that day.

Just as had happened earlier, their strength was robbed from them nearly immediately, and they gasped as they felt a pair of lips on their chest, sucking at the nipple through their pajamas. A familiar large, heavy hand squeezed their other breast, twisting and tugging the nipple there.

"Not to worry." Jiro reassured through the gloom and the haze of sleep and strong sedatives. "Just like earlier, this is all a dream."

Limp in bed, a heavy doll for him to experiment on, what could they do but comply?

[sushisocks]

Hey there! I believe you said in another post that the final confrontation would be unlikely to happen if lenny and sean were alive, so i'd like to ask if you could expand on that pls(if u havent already and i just didnt see it lol)

Btw on a side note im actually super invested in your sean content😭😭the fandom seems to only talk ab him to label as an idiot, so as a fellow sean lover the way you characterize him has me so in love❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh Anon you are SO LOVELY!!! Thank you not only in giving me the opportunity to rant more about Sean and Lenny (which I am always so willing to do), but also for your super kind words!! Sean is very dear to me, and I'm glad my reading into him as much as I do strikes a chord with other people ;;u;;

The way the general fandom often characterizes him isn't very surprising to me, given his personality & the surface level impressions he gives, but maybe for now I'll save THAT rant for another time, else we stay here forever lmaoo

So, to start answering your question, I believe you're talking about my post from a few months ago, where I talk about how I believe Sean & Lenny would've sided with Arthur & John if they'd lived to see the final confrontation. In it I mention how I find that final confrontation a lot more unlikely were Lenny & Sean to survive that far and stick around for the entire thing.

Now, WHY do I believe this? I touch on it briefly in that original post, but let's really get into it here!!

Okay to start off, there's a LOT of ways I see things going, in regards to Sean and Lenny, were they both to survive, because it adds SO MANY variables, but let's start at the very top.

At a meta level, it is important to recognize that RDR2 is a prequel to RDR1. This meant from the get that RDR2, as it is canonically, was bound to a certain outcome, to set up for RDR1. This ALSO means, that every step from the start of RDR2 was very much there not only to lay the groundwork for the end of RDR2 but also add another emotional layer to RDR1. This is all certainly things we are aware of already, but I think it's important to have that context in mind while we talk about alternative outcomes.

Because, see, Sean and Lenny HAD to die for the outcome in RDR2 to be the one it is. Not only them, but Hosea, Kieran, Molly, and Susan's deaths are ALL integral and important to the story, they ALL make a difference and contribute in pushing the story a certain way, and in reinforcing the steadily increasing hopelessness which infest the gang from Sean's death and out.

So if we're like "what if none of them died?" there are suddenly a LOT of new variables for every mission and every scenario we know from the game, which need to be considered. This is true EVEN if the change in survival count is only reduced to Lenny & Sean.

How different do you not think Shady Belle would have felt, initially, without Sean's death hanging over it? What about the bank job -- would Lenny & Sean end up on the boat to Guarma? What would've happened to them there, then? Would either of them be caught by the Pinkertons instead, with John or in his stead maybe? What other options would there have been, where would they end up at the end of that?

And already here we have to consider how those experiences might've impacted them psychologically, because of who they are.

In the post I mentioned earlier, I talk about how Lenny is new to the gang and probably isn't as stuck in it mentally as Arthur and John, nor do Sean and Lenny have the same emotional attachment/baggage in regards to Dutch. They're loyal of course, because they feel a sense of obligation to the gang, because it provides them with safety, friends, and allies, in an otherwise unkind world.

But what then happens when that changes?

How do you expect Sean and Lenny to respond when the gang starts turning on itself? When Dutch visibly starts losing it? When people start snapping at each other and threatening one another in the middle of camp?

(I have a half-formed thought here about how people would ABSOLUTELY be snapping and talking down to Sean in a way more cruel way towards the end of the game, for trying to keep things light and easy, yknow, fulfilling his role in the gang. I can only imagine what that'd end up doing to him, tbh.)

And, I'll be repeating myself from other posts here, but how do you think Lenny, a young black man painfully aware of the social structure as it exists in America at that point in time, would react to realizing what Dutch's plan with the Wapiti is? Same goes for Sean, who has SEVERAL instances through the game showing him just as politically aware as Lenny - certainly moreso than Arthur.

Would the outcome for the Wapiti tribe be the same, do you think, if Charles had more people than a very sick and tired Arthur to lean on, willing to help? Would Lenny in particular want to stick around to see Dutch attempt to drive the tribe into the ground for his own gain?

Also, I'm sorry but like, Lenny has a camp interaction with Dutch where he disagrees with him (about Miller, Dutch's favorite author) and explains why in a very well-articulated manner. In one instance, Dutch gets straight up offended by it, bcz Lenny can argue very well (and is RIGHT mind you lol).

I do absolutely believe that Lenny would not just sit around quietly in Beaver Hollow. I'd expect him to be among the most vocal in their discontent with the situation, and probably the best at arguing against Dutch.

That is, up until a certain point. Lenny is a young black boy, and Dutch is a white authority figure. Watch Dutch snap and yell at him, like he does John in Ch6 for example, and see how much longer Lenny sticks around fr. The trade is loyalty for safety and the same in kind. Why do you think members start leaving when things start looking their worst? And don't you think Lenny would be among the first to see the writing on the wall?

Though that is hinging on that very specific vibe in Beaver Hollow, where they're all scattered and losing their ties to one another. Add then in Sean, who is VITAL as social glue, and for making conversations easier. If he, and Lenny, and Mary-Beth, Tilly, Arthur, Charles, etc etc, insert your favorites here, managed to retain some of that community feeling, despite it all, then I absolutely see Lenny sticking around for them.

Same goes for Sean, tbh. I can see him leaving earlier, bcz the trade stops being equal and bcz he's not being taken seriously, and I can see him staying, for his friends.

There IS also a version of things where things are similar and I do see Sean siding with Dutch; but that is a very sad and lonely Sean, who is VERY different from where he's at in Clemens Point, and I think that's an unfair perspective to take for him in general.

Okay so, now we're back to that final confrontation, after I said I found it unlikely, why is that? Because, with every question I've posed thus far, about what Lenny & Sean's reactions might've been to canon events after their deaths, I have essentially presented a variable that comes with their survival to those points. Them being there for it, HAS to mean a change, has to mean something different happens, because their deaths are direct contributors to the path we already know the story takes WITHOUT their presences.

Now, what are those differences and changes? I honestly can't answer; something being different earlier or later can butterfly-effect into something completely new or remarkably similar to what we already know. I could sit here all day and wax poetic about all the different options and possibilities for where things could go, were ANY character to survive past their death point, BUT thankfully, that is what fanfiction is for, lol.

I hope this satisfied some of your curiosity, dear anon!! It was a lot of fun for me to write and think about, so thank you very much for asking!!!

[kuromi-hoemie]

last rb stressed me out lowkey akakska i had an ex like that and it became a self fulfilling prophecy kinda thing..

[aviad1b]

turns out i'm far less normal about the three swears than i thought i am lol because i got physically upset over not seeing these mentioned earlier

first of all yeah, it's from Shir HaShirim. and it's an interpretation (and ill get to another aspect of the interpretation in a bit)

second of all, shvu'ot is different from shavu'ot. note the a. might he a too minor detail but still. although technically i think the plural of shavu'a is also shvu'ot so idk why shavu'ot is called that i might be misinformed.

now, the three swears in Shir HaShirim. theres a part of me that wants to make this coherent and take the time to look up the exact sources but i think i cant not let my more impulsive side take over here. which means im probably gonna be inaccurate and misremember details but

so the three swears are an interpretation of a part in Shir HaShirim. specifically, the third swear supposedly talks about what happens if we fail to comply to the first two comes from a pasuk containing the phrase כאיילות השדה, basically that we'll be haunted like animals. the first swear can either be interpreted as us not returning by force or us not returning *as a nation* (depending on how you read the vowels). second swear is about not opposing the goys.

thing is, im the same chapter of Shir HaShirim it talks about the consequences of delaying too much. the Dod knocks on the door of the Re'aya, she's tired and doesn't answer the door. then later on she misses him, but she lost the chance. she rushes lutside to look for him while still in her nightwear. the guards see her, think she is crazy, and end up hurting her

this leads to an interpretation that i really like, i cant believe i forgot the name of the person who said this its on the tip of my tongue, but basically a possible moral here is that waiting and missing the opportunity can be disastrous. after all, the three swears basically talk about returning *before the right time* - it was largely assumed that the right time is the comming of the Massiah. but what if it wasnt? what if the right time was the rise of Zionism? what if the roght time was when the doors of returning finally opened? then the three swears were not violated at all. if anything, they were violated by the refusal to recognize the time to return, חטא ההתעלמות משיבת ציון.

this is just one interpretation of course. but it gives a completely different spin to antizionist Jews' main religeous claim.

antizionist Western Goys (the slightly more knowledgable ones) like to refer to the three swears as if theyre a set in stone concept, that Zionists violated. thats because thats all Western culture (cultural christians) knows: everything is set in stone, it can only have one meaning. and that one meaning tends to conviniently be the one thats most fitting for a nerrative.

point is, even with the three swears, some religeous Jews did and do believe this interpretation, so the Zionist movement wasnt as rejected by religeous Jews as some people like to think.

it was still mostly secular in it early days tho.

does diaspora jumblr know about the Nes Lo 'Kara Lanu (נס לא קרה לנו, a miracle didn't happen to us) controversy?

[merge-conflict]

5 (it's wonc isn't it 😞) 16, 20, 21, and 22

ty for the ask :3 questions are here

5. worst discord server and why

idk the modding one? because it has a billion channels and as soon as I joined I got overwhelmed, muted it and haven't opened it again. you say wonc like I'm not logging on every day and going into a brainrot thread to play ocs. sammy and I are deep in a brain cancer arc right now. xD

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

getting Johnny back his original body. I don't hate it, but it seems like such an easy fix given how the original relic trials went and that it's not just growing a new limb but a whole body including the brain. saburo doesn't even do that with all his money in the DE, which tells me it probably would take a while to grow a clone like that, if it's even possible (if it was, why would they have tested on random bodies and know that that process works best with relatives?). and it's not like johnny was ever a well-adjusted guy in his original body.

I know the answer is fix-it fic. But I'm surprised more people don't want to explore the inherent body issues/compromises in the genre. But! I do think it's interesting if people do or do not write Johnny getting a cybernetic arm again -> something that both fucked him up and defined him. what a choice between honoring what was and trying to get a truly clean slate. anyway it's something like the happy ending with children thing where I don't personally see the appeal, and that's okay. I was just honestly surprised it was so popular!

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I already complained about tech and the blackwall in a previous post. I guess on replays I really get bored playing Johnny's sequences or doing the BD stuff because once you know what happens it's just a slog to get through.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

overhyped would mean that I hear about it a lot? and I so rarely hear meta discussions that I'm kinda starved for it. I guess I'm disappointed to hear the sequel in planning has a big AI component because I wasn't a fan of how the story seems to be going in the original game (i.e. I think they're going with a straight forward apocalypse monster angle which doesn't serve the underlying themes the way I personally want it to, which as we all know is what would be objectively correct).

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

this is a hard one because again I don't see a lot of discussion about it but again I see very little lore discussion so I could pick anything.

I think it's fascinating Johnny never once discusses where he gets the bomb (it's a Militech bomb) or the fact that bombing Arasaka tower is as good for Militech as it is for him. I thought maybe it'd come up in PL but nope! in game there's a shard that describes a Militech convoy being robbed by nomads, implied to be the one that was carrying nuclear armaments. was it a setup by Militech? or did they not want it stolen but get what they wanted anyway when they got Arasaka thrown out of NC? How did that contribute to the war later where NUSA tried to grab NC and failed and resulted in Dogtown's creation and Arasaka being let in? When Johnny signed up as a corpo soldier who was it that he joined? Was it Militech or some other corp that broke him by sending him into battle? Why can't you even discuss the fallout of Johnny's actions? Especially in that dream of his where he apologizes to the netrunner whose husband got killed in the blast? (does anyone else think it's spooky you can find that NPC selling vinyls on the street?)

Anyway besides Johnny's enormous hate-on for Arasaka I want to know what his opinions are on the other major corpo players beyond the simple fact he thinks they suck. But not even canon delivers on that sadly.

[dizzybevvie]

boy how do you reblog such great things

been cultivating my dash for years. i also found most of them in my drafts

[broodygaming]

idk if that poll means viv betrays you or like. solas. he kinda betrays you by wanting to end the world ig

Yes! Yes sorry i tried to say that later in my tags haha, I just mean the whole betrayal thing reminds me of this very intense first impression of Viv, that's all. Whenever I think about the whole "mage betrayal" thing, I think of that just because I knew that my hurt feelings over Anders "betrayal" REALLY colored my choices in that (fairly early) character quest, ya know? And I feel bad haha, like it sucks and I wish she'd just given me more context T_T

[arolesbianism]

Every day I mourn the fact that none of my family and friends give a single shit abt oni lore, I don't wanna keep repeating shit I've already said before on here but every now and then I just remember the horrors™ and nearly explode not being able to scream abt it again

[antigonewinchester]

sorry to bother and do not feel pressure to answer if you don't feel like it this is just something i’ve been thinking about, and i didn’t feel like going through all of post-s5 to try and satisfy my curiosity, but are there any instances where sam actually talks about how long he spent in the cage with lucifer? because i see people throwing around numbers a lot, from 200 years to thousands of years, and idk are there any moments where the amount of time sam spent getting tortured is actuallly talked about? or are people just extrapolating from what we've been told about hell+time in s4? what do you think🤔

Not a bother at all! :)

From what I can remember & from checking the Supernatural Wiki, Sam never got a specific number for his time in Hell like Dean did, so people have taken to guessing and extrapolating out how long he was trapped there.

Since we know the Cage was in Hell, I tend to use Dean’s time in Hell as a way of approximating how much time Sam spent there, too. In 4x10, Dean says his 4-ish months in Hell felt "like 40 years”, meaning 1 month on Earth is approximately 10 years in Hell. I actually did some calculations once to see if I could get a specific Time on Earth vs. Time in Hell ratio, and came up with this: If approximately 4 months (120 days) = 40 years (365 X 10 = 14,600 days) > 1 month (30 days/month) = 10 years (3,650 days/year) > then 1 day on Earth = approx 121.6 days in Hell. Based on when Dean died and was resurrected (May 2nd and Sept 18th, respectively), this accounting would technically mean he was there for more than 40 years, as if he’d been in Hell for 138 days, then 138 X 121.6 = 16,780.8 days / 365 days/year = 45.9 years.

Taking the 1 day = 121.66 days and looking at Sam’s time, he went to Hell (also!) on May 2nd, 2010, and then his soul was pulled out of Hell in early December, 2011. (I’m not sure on these exact years within the show, but it is implied that Dean spent a year with Lisa, met up with soulless!Sam after that year, and then timing of the plot approximately followed the timing of the show’s airing.) Let’s say December 2nd, 2011, is when Death pulled Sam’s soul out of Hell, just to keep it simple. That would makes Sam’s time in Hell 365 days + 215 days = 580 days. 580 X 121.6 = 70,528 days / 365 days/year = 193.2 years.

I suspect where people are getting the ‘Sam spent thousands of years in Hell’ idea is from 6x14, where Sam remembers his time in the Cage when he’s unconscious for 2 – 3 minutes and then tells Dean that this time felt like “about a week.” If 3 minutes = 1 week (or 10,080 minutes) > 1 min on Earth = 3,360 minutes in the Cage. 60 mins X 24 hrs = 1,440 mins / day on Earth > 1,440 X 3,360 = 4,838,400 mins per day in the Cage as 1 day on Earth. 580 days X 4,838,400 mins = 2,806,272,000 minutes / 60 mins/hr = 46,771,200 hrs / 24hrs/day = 1,948,800 days / 365 days/yr = 5,339.17 years in the Cage.

Now, I don’t think the writers were likely thinking of Sam or Dean’s times in Hell is this specific detail. Dean’s “40 years” in particular feels like it’s meant to evoke Biblical stories, like God telling Noah it would rain for 40 days & 40 nights during the flood, Moses being on Mount Sinai for 40 days & nights, or Jesus wandering the wilderness and rejecting Satan’s temptations over 40 days. Dean’s “40” being years is a way of further emphasizing the horror of Hell & his experiences there, as well as more metaphorically evoking the time dilation of trauma & traumatic events.

Imo, this kind of metaphorical read also applies to Sam's 3 minutes = 1 week in the Cage flashback. I do not think this was intended to line up with Sam's actual time in the Cage, as Sam isn’t physically going back to the Cage but only remembering his time there. This kind of time disparity again evokes traumatic events and how someone’s experience of time can be affected by both trauma and their remembering of it. It’s also another way the narrative can emphasize why getting rid of Sam’s wall would be a really really bad idea… which then makes Cas breaking Sam’s wall at the end of the season such an Oh Shit!! moment.

[elegyofthemoon]

In the cool, plush core of the moon sleeps a mouse as we speak, dreaming of a world lush and green, then golden and undulating, then chopping and churning, a world of many surfaces with skies of many moods.

When it awakes, it will poke its tiny head out of a crater and bask in your glow as it does every morning. Here, all is still and silent. On that sparkling planet in the deep black distance, the sun seems capricious. But the mouse lives in the abyss of the body and therefore with a unique perspective on its essence. The mouse sees what other life does not see.

One needn't worry about unbecoming for the sake of containing a sun. Clouds may blanket the atmosphere of a planet, but still there burns a sun. The spots on the sun's surface may grow and shrink and shift, but still there it burns. And if one decides to cool it down like a waning flame or expand it in a cataclysmic supernova, still there it burns, and one has the right to revoke the state of their existence and become new.

Because perhaps the truth is you are not the sun--not alone--but it is rather a part of you. Your body is the solar system, each planet a world within the body, and each knows this glow in different ways. Some are nurtured by its warmth, others by its distance. Regardless of the sun's changes, they stay the course encircling it.

The universe cannot be held back, harnessed, fully comprehended. It pulls at the seams of solar systems as it pulls on its own seams. In that unstoppable shifting, we stumble. Sometimes it feels like our love and light slips from our fingers, shattering irrevocably in our falls. But what makes us cannot be seperated from us, even in times where our essence is obscured.

There is always another life to appreciate your life, no matter what happens. And in the least, there is always a little mouse in you that understands you in telescopic clarity and offers forgiveness for every change--no matter what, right into the end of time.

❤

[valctovoel]

Hi, i was wondering for a while now, what was that deal between carlos and lucious? What did carlos want that getting a deal with demon sounded like a good idea?

Carlos is a surgeon, except he puts waay too much pressure on himself for his own good. The moment he fails he sees himself as the ultimate failure (he has massive impostor syndrome). And he does fail one time, which costs him a life, which results in him spiraling into depression and self-doubt. Shortly afterward he finds a post on a forum about a wish-granting ritual, he's mentally in the worst place possible so he tries it. He wishes to not fail again, except the ritual summons a demon (luci) who is willing to grant the wish in exchange for his soul. Carlos agrees because what other option did he have? (he had a lot but he's not the sharpest tool in the shed)

So now he's stuck with Luci who periodically comes around to annoy him (he's very irritating) and slowly Carlos just stops being afraid of him.