#i know it wouldnt but i still think it
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dso stressed i feel like im going to die
#like sooner than i otherwise would#maybe even actually soon#sometimes i think that might be good even. a relief.#i know it wouldnt but i still think it#i told my mom abt the situation and how im feeling like lowkey hoping she would tell me to bail on this thing already#and she didnt really say anything...#idk maybe this was the one time in my life she decided unsolicited advice was inappropriate#feels to me a lot more like an echo of the way she never stood up for me#love her though#sysmates are telling me to trust how i feel but i cant#i cant bail now#but maybe i should sooner rather than later.#ill have an opportunity soonish. i have let people know#that i might#but there isnt yet anyone who could take over#and i dont want to watch the project crash and burn#its an important one in my eyes.#something that makes a tangible difference in peoples lives#and it kind of feels like. if im not willing to die fighting then what am i even living for.#since peace of mind is apparently not a real option i think i would rather fight to the death.#but i keep getting visions of regret and thinking back from the future to now abt how naive and clueless im being by doing this#though those kinds of things usually make me critical of this potential future self.. like why are u being so fucking rude and cruel my bro#im not like that to my past self if i can help it#but god cynicism festers in resentment and overwhelm too so . ugh#like i can see it yeah. and also like i wish this were just a mindset thing but we are talking effects on physical health.#from the stress from this project. like its pretty clear.#and at the same time because of the way my community is being treated it is unthinkable to step down and watch it crash and burn.#i keep thinking idk if anyone would understand. but actually i know some who would. who do#and anyway im already in a position that everyone criticises and doesn't really understand because of the way im looking at it#and it makes me feel so desperate like wow these ppl either can't or won't look at the big picture and the reality of things.
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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reunion
#a doodley#inspired by coochiekrab and sol-rust minimal toned coloring#also realistically talon would NOT knock he'd just climb in through the window and scare the fuck out of everyone but it had to be this#way for the comic#so i went with insistent annoyed knocking#kinda nonsensical no punch line just talon being like oh brother what is that thing.#dont tell me you've moved on and even had children or ill do something drastic.#immediate jealousy and hating of change#something about how talon left so he wouldnt get attached but still thinks of and#comes home to al several years later anyway#something about how al said he fully accepted he'd never see talon again but knows how long its been since he left
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i’ll find you again in every universe. let us be a little more honest, let us have a little more time.
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#despite it all though badlands rumble is like. the only universe where we get wolfwood thinking vash died first... and i think that means a#lot to their relationship and how it may bloom if there was more to badlands rumble considering vash literally saw wolfwood carrying a piece#of vash after his supposed death. u know! despite the short time they were together vash still meant so much to wolfwood that he couldn't#just move on or forget him in anyway. needed to keep a piece of him for himself and the rest of his days. but ofc vash lives and wolfwood#was like ill beat ur fucking ass into tomorrow. there's just so much honesty in vash being able to see that gesture bc he wouldnt know#otherwise just how much he might mean to him. ANYWAY. trimax with with the eternal pining featuring the two chapters where imo#where the both of them really fell for each other... i wrote my thoughts about this on another comic i did before#but vash solidifying his feelings during the hospital arc -- ww solidifies his when he realizes his allegiances are permanently with vash#98 my lovelies but also to me they are so one-sided bc ww pined like no tomorrow and vash only realizes after ep 23?24? his heart did tickle#whenever ww complimented his smile though#and tristamp vw my beloveds. it really just feels like they get the chance to be closer and closer and more honest with each other#with every version that comes about. in trimax they knew how little time they had but struggled so desperately to get closer. in 98 ww felt#more willing to forsake for vash. in badlands rumble theyre Angry but as mentioned earlier ^ more blatant truth... due to circumstances#mainly but has the chance to lead to discussions and tristamp literally. first day of knowing each other ww saves vash - 2 days later vash#saves ww like. Man. AND NOW THEY MAY POTENTIALLY GET EVEN CLOSER!!!! with s2....#ruporas art
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do you think operator & drifter treat their warframes wildly differently?
somewhat insufficient TLDR: i think the operator and drifter are emotionally attached but in vastly, strikingly different ways, and it manifested very, very differently too.
in operator's case, it isn't that they dont *care*, but they know how durable a warframe is. they know they can take one hell of a hit, and they'll be okay because that warframe takes the brunt of it (albeit with some phantom pain if the damage is bad enough). theyre less comfortable outside the confines of those large, bulky war machines because they know they're ultimately safe. those warframes can take hits. they cannot. the operator knows they were people, but they never met those people before the tragedy. besides... a lot of them really are just empty shells. they're hardly the people they once were, especially since they recreated those warframes from blueprints. don't get me wrong, they do remember the anguish of the originals - they were there, they lived it, and they still have empathy for them... but the operator knows the limits of every warframe like the back of their hand - they can maneuver however they want, they can take hits, they can run into armies and not be too afraid because they (as in the operator and the warframe this time) be fine. even if the warframe is damaged, they can fix the damage, so no harm done.
but drifter on the other hand? at first i think they never really realised the power they had. in their mind they were still them, just running, rolling on the occasion, it took them ages to maneuver those things *properly*, and probably only ever really learned with the operator's guidance. they would not let a warframe take a hit, not because they felt empathy for it (at least not a lot, last i checked you kind of need at least *some* to have effective transference?) but because they were so used to walking around vulnerable. yknow, not inside a killing machine. but what would've really solidified the difference was after they went to 1999. sure, hearing that these things used to be people is one thing, but at the end of the day, to drifter, they're still just machines. drifter never got to experience what the tenno did, they never had to deal with reaching into their freshly scarred minds to ease their anger, sorrow, fear, rein them in like the terrified animals they were turning into and hush their cries with understanding - they only knew the dead inside remnants... but it's an entirely other thing when you go to the past and see the people who were hurt. you meet them and you get to know them, become their best friends - maybe even date one of them - and it hit drifter like a fuckin' freight train. they have this entirely different view on warframes from that cold perspective they had at first. they weren't just war machines. those are people. every time they go into the head of those machines, they're looking through the eyes of *people.* people who had families and desires and hobbies, things they looked forward to, entire futures ahead of them that were snuffed out. people who were scared, people who didn't know what was happening. people who knew what was happening, who lived in fear knowing they weren't able to stop it... people who lived in fear of losing themselves. and i think it hit drifter a lot harder than they'd ever admit.
but thats not to say one of them is more attached than the other - both of them care deeply about their warframes. it's just that, they have different ways of looking at them. after all their experiences were so vastly different, it'd be impossible to look at them the same way.
(too lazy to type it out all over, but i have an example in the tags i think kinda helps pull it together more)
#i hope i worded operator's part correctly#because i dont want to be saying like#oh the operator doesnt care#they see them as just tools#because thats not what i mean#its hard for me to explain#the operator loves them too#but its like... when you sympathize with people you dont know.#you hear of a tragedy that happened to a stranger#and you feel sorrow. but not the same amount as if it happened to a friend. you dont feel that encompassing sickness.#the operator did meet them.. kind of#but it was only remnants. people whos minds were lost to the infestation and were going nuts#the drifter though?#they got to know the people after theyd been warframe-ified but who still had their minds.#they were still... them.#mostly.#and the blanks. the things that were lost and the drifter wouldnt have known on their own. were filled in by **their friends.**#and ig i think the drifter mightve seen themselves too. what with being alone and scared. fearing youll lose yourself#but i wasnt sure how to include that in the post itself#but yeah thats my yapping#hope it made sense#✛ posts#warframe#warframe 1999#warframe 1999 spoilers#wf 1999#warframe community#warframe the drifter#warframe drifter#warframe the operator
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saikis powers are a vital part of him so it makes sense that people who dont know about them cant truly understand his whole self, but its also very silly to me when people act like its the ONLY important part of him... people act like his friends that arent in the know are completely blind to who saiki is, but i feel like that kinda means you missed some major points... he cant keep his powers a secret forever and it DOES matter, but he can still be loved and KNOWN without knowing about them... hes still human, he still has a personality, he still has regular likes and dislikes, etcetc
his friends perspectives on him may have been wrong at first, but they CHANGED... they know him and love him, and theyll KEEP loving him the SAME once they know of his powers...
some people cough cough cough in this fandom like to reduce saiki to JUST his powers and its so obvious that you just. missed everything. you didnt absorb anything from the show, you just saw it and went "ha, everyone thinks hes just a guy when hes actually super cool and powerful" no no no, he IS cool and powerful but look a little closer and at his core he is still LITERALLY JUST A GUY 😭😭😭

hes such a guy.....
#idk this goes back to how i think its weird that people think how he treats toritsuka is 'his true personality coming out'#like ?? hes a dick to him because he deserves it. not because saiki is a dick.#'so sad how his other friends only know him as a boring introvert' hey idk how to tell you this but hes actually still that#he may be more fun and childish and silly than most of his friends know#but above all hes still an introvert who loves sitting in his house and doing nothing#his favorite hobbies besides that are video games and coffee jelly#i fear you may be the one who doesnt understand saiki if you think the two sides of him his different friends see cant coexist#hes still the same guy#even the people who are in the know see a limited side of saiki#i fear akechi is the only person who gets to see all of him#and even that has a limit. i guess i wouldnt say 'all' but both sides#'the mixer scene was just teruhashi showing she doesnt know anything abt him since she thinks he would just sit there' yk what. dont pmo.#that is quite literally just factually what he WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING#even around everyone who knows about his powers#what the fuck else would saiki be doing??? singing and doing standup ?????#no dude. hes fun and likes singing and is funny and likes showing off but not in that way and definitely not in that setting#if u genuinely believe saiki would be the life of the party at a mixer instead of just sitting there making the occasional sarcastic commen#then youve severely misjudged him😭#what version of saiki k did you even watch actually#'the awesome cool nonchalant life of saiki k'#sorry this is really just a rant above all else#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post#meownalysis
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so about mind reader mycheal (if we get to ask more about him that is) how would he react to an mc who doesn't think something rude when they first see him but rather they are fascinated or find him cute?
For context! Funnily enough I think MR!Mychael would be even more suspicious of you than anyone else he's met hahaha. He'd think he misread your thoughts like being on the wrong radio station or something.
What ends up happening is he pays even closer attention to your thoughts and when it happens again he's just ???? the entire time. Cue feedback loop of him digging around your brain saying all these nice things about him and that's probably where the attachment begins.
#mushroom oasis vn#mychael ask#i think an alternate version of him with a personality like that would still like 'words of affirmation' as a love language#MR!Mychael even more so because HE KNOWS when youre being honest or when youre lying#if anything he'd try and trick you into praising him more#also what if mind reader mychael just takes over the blog wouldnt that be funny#MR!Mychael
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hello how long has it been…..2 things im getting into. will tumblr entertain my autism?
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#elden ring#elden ring messmer#messmer elden ring#messmer the impaler#messmer#anya#(why did you draw this levienjoyer?)#i thought of it in the shower#where i think of my best work#wouldnt they be good friends#well i wouldnt know actually. i still need to buy elden ring!
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This place seems a little dangerous, but... I trust you.
Yeah
#the black space scenes are. The Worst (affectionate)#mod snuuy#omori#daily basil#art#drawing#omori basil#digital#basil#basil omori#sorry for the late post and sorry its not a request... i think it still looks dope though#omori omori#i reflexively want to tag any interactions of these two as sunflower because im a massive sunflower truther but this is kind of the opposit#i mean. toxic yaoi am i right. maybe it can be ship art#omori blackspace#does that warrant a tw... i wouldnt know what to tag this. ask to tag?
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Question! Because it's bugging me!
But also... COULD it work?
Tianlang-jun. The mountain.
A tragedy of many parts.
The man is stuck, in pain, but he is a full blooded Heavenly "Not Even The God's Could Kill Us" Demon. So? His death is slow. A chipping away of ten million life points, one by one. Effective, yes, BUT...?
Only so long as he's IN the Seal... right?
His power is locked away. Stopped. In a "pinned down and AOE" Sort of way. Because anything DIRECTLY effecting? His body will laugh derisively at, then fuckin EAT.
But! He can't HEAL inside that Seal. So the chip effect IS gonna take him out. Eventually.
Is it Cruel? Very. But it's effective.
However!!!
According to Shen Yuan? Luo Binghe has been able to heal from lost limbs, in PIDM. From, we can only assume, getting stabbed through vital organs. All while being? HALF his father's blood... and a FUCKING BABY in comparison to experience.
Tianlang-jun has been rocking around for A WHILE.
Theoretically?
You COULD...? Cut him in half.
He'd fuckin walk it off. I'm completely serious. After all, so long as his HEAD and preferably his heart were in tact? Meh. It'll SUCK... but he just needs food, rest, and A LOT of QI.
Now, I'm not saying it'd be as "lol, you thought that'd WORK?" As it normally would be. He's been fucked up pretty bad. His health is delicate right now. (For the given quality of that) But like?
Collect the blood he IS bleeding. Put it under stasis, in a demonic Qi rich environment. Prep a medical bay of sorts. Bring him MEDICINE while he's IN the seal to boost him. Good ol clean water, food, and keep him up to date on the plan etc.
Then get HIS help? To cut him in half. As close to the crush point as possible! The trapped him under a mountain. Yes. His power doesn't work. EXTERNALLY. But can it work INTERNALLY? Can he prepare, mentally, for it to START working? Keep his blood from LEAVING the half that contains his brain?
Don't fall asleep, you Majesty. You need to make your own circulatory system until your lower half heals enough to have veins again.
And "oh no! The seal won't let us carry him out!"? Pssssh. You are like BABIES.
Side Step that Fucker! Who ever said we were going through the front door? We make our own rules in THIS house!
Get in the Qiankun pouch, your Majesty!
The we either run like we totally just alerted those gold wearing bastards to our jail break (cause we probably did) OR we go through the teleport method of your choice! To the medical bay. Where Tianlang-jun gets a nice, emergency, talismans(sry, I know you hate them and probably now have trauma) cleaning, and gets lovingly dumped into the blood tub.
Of blood! You know... HIS blood. The blood we saved (and Qi soaked) from him!
Have some steak. Looooots of steak, your Majesty. Mmm, those muscles repairing red meats! Bone too. Qi for days. No, no, you sit your ass back down! Healing first. THEN vengance!
@mayfay @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @babbling-babull @hdgnj
#minji's writing#still kinda mad that binhe never goes to save his dad#unfilial child#yeah i know he didnt raise you#but he kinda DIDNT GET THE CHANCE#you think he wouldnt have WANTED TOO?#he adored your mom!#he would have been GLOWING with joy#washer mom would be disappointed in you binghe#tianlang jun#deserves better#i love my sad dangerous trainwreck king#wanna platonicly marry you#cause who could ever compete with Su Xiyan lets be real here#svsss#PIDM#bailu mountain
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im feixiao dad brainrotting and methinks modern feixiao would work in the military, maybe she adopts a kid too who like her also grew up in an active warzone and lost their parents. maybe she rescues this kid and the kid is now attached to her and vice versa.
she's definitely making that kid get into boxing when they are old enough
omg this could be an expansion to modern!au feixiao lore… feixiao who goes into the military after college maybe for family reasons to honor yueyu or to become like her. she climbs up the ranks with remarkable speed, known in the barracks for her strength, resilience and courage. she makes a point to always call you when she can, even when she’s on deployment. knowing you’re back home waiting for her is always motivation for her to push through.
borisin territory is always a model of hell, though. she slogs through it, gunblades at the ready, her finger always on the trigger. jets shriek over her head, and in the distance she can hear the xianzhou LUX cannons powering up. it hums in the back of her mind, a low vibration in her ears, and she thinks it’s the worst part about the whole job. but she presses ever onward, like a bullet, cutting down borisin slavers and breaking the chains of any slaves under her heel. each one both breaks her heart and drives her forward, but one particular one has her stilling.
a child, with a shock of pure white hair, kneeling in the bloodstained mud, looking up at her with a look feixiao recognises—a look she remembers.
she swallows, then casts her gaze again back to the battlefield. the borisin are retreating, fleeing with their tails between their legs. the lux arrow sings overhead, then detonates the routing borisin with a dull, distant final note. she moves without thinking, crouching down and shielding the child with her body from the harsh winds produced in the fallout.
she feels tiny hands fist in the front of her uniform, wetness in the crook of her neck, and something in feixiao’s heart breaks.
she takes the child back to the xianzhou base, and they refuse to part from her. even when it came to getting the child a medical check-up, they nearly wept themselves unconscious at having to be separated from feixiao. feixiao had to be the one to bathe them; or at least, pass a wet rag over their skin and face for now since she physically couldn’t get them to let her go to properly bathe them. as the child dozes off in her arms that first night, still clinging tight to her, she leans her head back and sighs softly.
what is she even going to tell you?
she prepares for the worst, but you take it… remarkably in stride. you’re surprised, certainly, but she thinks you can see the bond that’s formed between the two, from the way the child holds onto feixiao when she walks through the airport terminal to you. she told you about it in advance over the phone, of course, she wouldn’t spring something so huge as a child on you out of nowhere. but still, it makes her knees nearly give out in relief when she sees you offer the child a small smile and a gentle greeting. you make a point to not get too close to the child when you give her a quick welcome back kiss, ensuring they get to have their personal space, and it warms her heart.
it takes some time for the kid to open up to you, but it happens faster than feixiao expects. or maybe she does expect it somewhat; you’ve always been good with her. in any case, progress is steady—for the first few months the child only ever speaks to feixiao since she knows firsthand how to handle such a child, but soon they start asking you for little things with one word questions, then full sentences, and then they start really talking to you, pointing out things they notice or asking how things work. her heart feels like it might burst the first time she sees the child take your hand in a crowded mall, and she quickly leans over the tiny tears of joy that gather in your lashes.
sometimes she’s so full of love for the both of you she feels dizzy with it. the first time she comes home to see you snuggled on the couch with the child in your arms, both sleeping soundly, she nearly weeps. instead she grabs a blanket from the wardrobe then cuddles right up next to you both, wrapping you in her arms. this is her family now—hers. and there’s nothing in the world she wouldn’t do for you both.
#sev.responses#modern!au#feixiao x reader#the lux arrow is like an icbm btw lol#anyway. the child needs a Name#and yeah fei def gets the kid some self defense classes. i think it helped her as a kid herself#to have that reassurance she cld protect herself so she wld def want her kid to have that same security#she wouldnt let anything happen to them obvs but maybe in a situation she cant be around she knows her kid isnt fully defenseless#she'd wholeheartedly support them if they decide to go comp level too though#cos in my au she used to do comp level mma and all. but she wld be very strict abt it to ensure her kid is still safe yk#like cte is no joke
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Garak saying "I know when to walk away" is so funny with the context of A Stitch in Time because like. yeah he does know when to walk away. and then he never does
#star trek: ds9#a stitch in time#elim garak#he always knows EXACTLY when he should walk away#and he never does!#he never walks away!#he cant! he cant help himself!#he couldnt walk away from Palandine and he sure as fuck couldnt walk away from Julian#I fully think Garak had a moment when he realized he should walk away from Julian#probably after The Wire if I had to guess#all that sentiment... he knew it wouldnt be good#but of course he couldnt walk away#and then again after Our Man Bashir I think#but for entirely different reasons- he thinks Julian doesnt want him anymore#but he still cant make himself walk away#which we see in A Stitch in Time#lkjfdkjslfjs they make me CRAZYYYYYY
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when you save a random civilian and he ends up being the weirdest guy of all time.
#batlantern#batman#green lantern#bruce wayne#hal jordan#hero x civilian#thank u to the anon for suggesting the auuuu#i still think hal wouldnt know who the fuck bruce wayne is#hal is “who the fuck is steve jobs”#d-art
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the trouble with being the one who survives is you must keep on doing it
inspired directly by @onionninjasstuff 's heart wrenching comic of Future Donnie's death (read it!!)
#my art#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#future donnie#future mikey#future leo#still not a million percent happy with the formating#but this is prolly the closest thing to a 'polished comic' ive made yet#think it wound up more like an 'emotional equivilant of a toddler kicking u in the shins' rather than 'steel bat to the knees' but eh#shrugs#at this point ive stared at it for too long so bam onto the internet it goes#also lmao i was just having fun w leos arm#and i knew it was super not even close to how his canon proesthetic looked#but i was just having fun w the mechanical nonsense#and then later i was like ah shit what color are his pants again lemme go watch a clip and check#and wouldnt ya know it i flipped the colors on his arm too#i think i actually prefer canons green shoulder w red bicep/band butttt#we can say this is an older prototype arm#which would mean donnie mustve left him a shiny new arm#that he'll never get to hear a speech mode ramble explination of#:')#u ever just think about how grief is this thing you have to take with you#its not just something you can walk away from not just an event that happens#its perpetual and part of you now#like its every time you go to make an immediate inside joke but theres no one there to share it#its every question you never got to ask and every new question you never will#every task you must reassign#every doubt that goes unreassured#its a silence that you bring with you to every room#haunting is so selfmade and i love it so much
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YAY I GOT THIS DONE ON HIS BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAJIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOU RUINED MY LIFE AND ALSO MAYBE SAVED MY LIFE. WHO THE FUCK KNOWS I DO LIKE YOU A LOT THOUGH
#hajime means so much to meeeeeee#hes the reason i started posting art online (not on tumblr at the time though)#so without him i wouldnt have made like. 80% of my friends#and i do not know where i would be without some of my friends ive met bc of that#like ive had some NASTY depressive episodes since then that im pretty sure i only made through because of them#hiii phantom specifically. looking at you. ilysm if you read this#anyways not to get so real on danganronpa art sdfvgfrde#sdr2 is one of my favorite games of all time like genuinely. it has a lot of sentimental value to me i guess#i was a big fan of the first game but i watched the anime (and several playthroughs) but sdr2 was the first dr game i acually played myself#i actually also watched the dr3 anime before i played sdr2?#and uh. so i went in completely spoiled for it#that being said i still absolutely adored hajime. maybe im basic but i always love protagonist characters#also johnny yong bosch's performance is so fucking good;;;; i cried at the end of the game and it wasnt even particularly sad#anyways. danganronpa was my first hyperfixation that i can remember and it was so meaningful to me. i dont know where id be without it#even if im not as interested in it now it still is really important#would i recommend it? i mean it depends. i think danganronpa is for a very specific kind of person which is the person i happen to be#ok no more tag rambling time to do normal art tags#doodles#danganronpa#hajime hinata#izuru kamukura
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still thinking about gaz doing ghost’s skincare
even when they’re on base and the worst of the all-encompassing exhaustion is held at bay, he knows ghost doesn’t have the energy to spare to do any kind of in depth routine; knows as much as it makes him feel good to feel soft and clean and cared for, he won’t be able to keep up with it by himself
gaz just didn't expect how good it would feel to do it for him
how accomplished he'd feel when he figured out the right combination of products to soothe ghost's sensitive neglected skin without him breaking out or getting even more dehydrated, the best moisturiser for his scars, researching no-wash products so he doesn't have to get up once they've started; all ghost has to do is lay back and let gaz work
it's an honour, not only to be trusted enough with ghost's - with simon's - face but also to watch him lose every ounce of tension in his body
they usually - and how amazing that they have a usual, that this has become a routine - end up with ghost's head in his lap, a soft pillow beneath his head so he can just rest. it's not uncommon for him to fall asleep entirely as gaz follows his steps
bottles of cleansers and serums and moisturisers all bought just for him, each one dutifully researched with ghost's skin type in mind, all stored in a black leather bag moulded into a skull bc gaz found it browsing one day and thought it was too perfect. ghost doesn't even know what they all do, just knows how blissful it is to feel the gentle pressure of gaz's fingers massaging his face; following the contours of scars that haven't pulled or flared since they started doing this
gaz never tells him about the rollers he could use instead, the applicators that are technically better for his skin bc it would mean he'd know that gaz uses his hands just for him; that he can feel how much he craves his touch and knows he enjoys it just as much, if not more than the actual results
gaz just tells him that a thorough massage after everything is applied is necessary for all the products to marry up and sink properly into his skin and spends the next half hour smiling down at his superior as he lets go of all his pain and trusts him to keep him afloat
#feeling sad and weird so its time for - you guessed it - platonic intimacy!!#i know a lot of people give soap a complex beauty routine bc /soap/ but ive always felt like gaz would be more into physical self care#soap just feels to rough and tumble masculine to do it himself#i still think he has a bunch of sisters that push it onto him but i dont think hed seek it out on his own#and uses working out as his self care#but gaz gives almost a luxury vibe#i wouldnt be surprised if he has like an aunt or something that runs a beauty empire and installed a sense of worth in him when he was young#not that he needs products and makeup and /things/ to be beautiful#that he already is and all of these things are just about making yourself feel good and treating yourself#thats why it hits him so hard to see how difficult it is for ghost to look after himself#that he doesnt have that inner worth that he does and hes just to tired to seek it out#so gaz will stop at nothing to instill it in him and give him as much touch as his heart desires#until he feels it enough to reach out himself#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#kyle gaz garrick#gaz cod#gaz call of duty#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghost call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#141#task force 141
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