#i know i'm a people pleaser and i just want people to like me

[thef1diary]

Been thinking about dirtbag! Danny around the holidays. If y'all went to see your family at say a party or something, would he be the perfect little saint? Or would he be his normal self? And when you two "accidentally" get caught under the mistletoe, would he hold back, or would he ravage you right there in front of everyone?

I'm having so many thoughts

-🐍

— why would you choose dirtbag!danny as a plus one to your family’s Christmas party? Well, you thought he was the best, safest option compared to a random date you didn’t know well, he’s the closest thing to a boyfriend without the label after all. 18+ content below

Daniel was supposed to be your safest option, the perfect fake boyfriend to bring home for the holidays. Sure, he was a little rough around the edges, but he was charming when he wanted to be—a people-pleaser with a quick wit and a dazzling smile. Your family wouldn’t question him, and you figured he’d play along without a hitch.

But you’d made one fatal miscalculation: Daniel was a menace, a dirtbag to his core.

As far as your family knew, he was perfect—polite, helpful, even borderline sweet as he laughed at your dad’s bad jokes, helped your mom carry in trays of cookies, and even complimented your aunt’s questionable fruitcake.

But the moment he was out of their line of sight, his true colours shone through.

“You look so sweet when you pretend to behave,” he murmured, leaning in under the guise of whispering something festive. His lips brushed the shell of your ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down your spine. “Makes me wanna bend you over the dining table and see how fast I can ruin that innocent little act.”

Your cheeks burned, and you shot him a warning glare, but his grin only widened. His hand found your waist, fingers grazing just low enough to make your heart race, and he gave a small squeeze before stepping away, leaving you to stew in the heat he’d ignited.

Later, when no one was looking, he cornered you in the kitchen. His hands caged you in against the counter as he leaned in, his lips brushing against your neck, just below your ear.

“Bet you’re wearing something cute under this dress,” he muttered, his voice a low, teasing rasp. “Maybe I’ll find out later. Slip my hand up your thigh while everyone’s busy singing carols. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Danny,” you hissed, pushing at his chest, but he didn’t budge.

“Relax, sweetheart,” he said, his grin infuriatingly cocky. “You’re the one who dragged me into this little charade. Might as well make it fun, yeah?”

He stole a quick squeeze of your ass before stepping back, leaving you flustered and furious as he returned to the living room like nothing had happened.

It wasn’t long before someone spotted the mistletoe hanging above the archway, and of course, Daniel wasted no time dragging you beneath it. “Well, well,” he drawled, his grin wicked as the room erupted into cheers and teasing whistles. “Looks like we’ve got no choice, love.”

Danny,” you hissed, your face already flushing as your cousins and parents egged you on, half-laughing, half-embarrassed. “Just a quick one, okay?”

He smirked, tilting his head, the devil gleaming in his eyes. “Quick? Oh, sweetheart, you wound me.”

Before you could respond, his lips were on yours—hot, demanding, utterly unrestrained. He kissed you like the room wasn’t full of your family, like no one else existed. His hands slid down to grab your ass, pulling you flush against him, and he groaned into your mouth, deep and shameless.

Someone gasped. Someone else laughed nervously. But Daniel didn’t care. He kissed you like he wanted to leave a mark, like he needed everyone to know exactly who you belonged to.

When he finally pulled back, your lips were swollen, your head spinning, and his smug smirk was back in full force. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear. Then, quieter, just for you: “Later, I’m gonna have you bent over your childhood bed, biting that pillow to keep quiet. Bet you’ll be thinking twice about calling me a safe option.”

want more dirtbag!danny? send me an ask with your filthiest thoughts and it’ll get answered during one of my dirty drabble days

[athousandbyeol]

keep up the thamepo [episode 2]

this episode, to me, is hopeful. i like the contrast of tone and mood from episode one. episode was indeed very sombre, melancholic and sad. but episode two, at least from how I perceive it, is hopeful.

there are some scenes that scratched my brain and made me giggle because we're seeing po experiencing this 'feeling' he couldn't describe yet. but I'm so happy that it's here, and we're seeing it happening now. i think they set the pace quite well, allowing us to experience po and thame's emotional growth and acceptance this early.

1. Mr. A and Mr. B

it's so cute that po has a best friend he could rely on. I'm so glad he has baifern to listen to his random rants and thoughts. i always feel like po doesn't have someone he could be transparent with.

baifern is really a great listener, and I'm glad she's somewhat realistic while po is idealistic—she gives po the reality check he needs—since in my opinion, po is such a dreamer (he seems like an F to me).

although po denied his crush on Mr. B (thame), I think, without realising, he's actually taking an interest in thame? one of the reasons might be because 1) thame left but he was hurt (po wanted to know why and how he could feel hurt even though he wanted to leave thame) and 2) thame is mysterious but isn't entirely cold either. he assures po a lot in this episode even though there's still this respectable distance between them. it's not yet a romantic crush, but more of wonderment and curiosity.

so... when po shared this Mr. A and Mr. B analogy, I think everyone knew he was talking about himself and thame ;) it's honestly so cute! i know he's just curious—he thinks about people's feelings and ideas a lot—some call him a people pleaser. he definitely felt a bit icky after saying this to thame:

i think it's quite interesting how thame's understanding of po's words was he would drop the sasaeng allegation on po, while po thought that thame misunderstood his words by thinking it was 'romantic'.

i assume thame actually knew what po meant, (and I might be preaching) but I guess their feeling is already mutual? both of them are interested in each other. honestly, I'm unsure who fell first because it could be both in different situations. thame might think po was interesting and 'different' when he first saw him during the event. po might fall during this—

2. po wears his heart on his sleeves (yet again)

everything about this moment is so tender... and romantic. i can't really explain but the air shifts between them at this time and forward. but it's somewhat bittersweet.

although it's cute, i feel like po kind of resents himself? when he looked at his hands, he was shaking his head, hoping to discard those feelings bubbling inside him. it's so sad because the fear of placing himself in this situation again—to bear his heart and soul for someone—to love again—still haunts him. i like how we still see him subtly drowning in his past. it shows that emotional trauma can't be discarded or healed overnight. it's a process.

but i also like how thame was watching po all the time... his eyes are always on po (although some shots of thame are blurred), it's obvious he's attentive to po, yet po didn't realise it yet.

3. the gifts and scripts — po becomes an opener to thame's deepest feelings

the whole set-up of the gifts and everything is so... eerie. although I'm sure there's still sincerity left in this world, it's the truth (to an extent). the entertainment industry is a stage play—everything is constructed to look perfect. it's kind of heartbreaking to witness this bitter truth; not everything we perceived on screen is true.

but i'm glad thame actually brought his own gifts—gifts that really mattered to his friends. he's attentive and sensitive. some might say because of his role as the leader, but I feel like thame is inherently kind and big-hearted. no one loves MARS—the members—more than thame.

and when po found it, i felt relieved. ah. po. of course, he would notice. of course, he would know.

i had a conversation with lia (@treasurebook) about this, and she said that thamepo becomes each other's map. when they meet, their life's trajectory shifts from what the company and po's past relationship wanted them to do to this—fixing and healing each other's wounds.

po and thame share the same grief but for different reasons. both of them seek answers and solutions. po wants closure, and thame want a starting point. both of them are giving that to each other, a mutual exchange.

clearly, thame and his friends didn't get to sit down and talk about this. it was a decision made by thame solely from the pressure and responsibility. i guess this could be considered as thame's 'mistake' because he thought he could handle this by himself. his decision would definitely help the group.

it's thame's selflessness and strong sense of responsibility that urged him to carry the group's burden alone. he didn't want his members to go through anything painful or unpleasant. he promised he would grant everyone's wish.

but this is the price he has to pay in the end; the conflict. the broken friendship. the mistrust.

i believe this is a message that is clear to us: communication is key, especially if we're leading a group or in any form of relationship. i think it's appropriate for thame to discuss the offer of releasing a solo song with mars, 1) as a sign of respect, 2) to avoid future conflict, and 3) to receive input from the members. yet, it is what it is. thame didn't. and I don't want to say that he's entirely at fault. it's something that could be done but didn't.

additionally, the idea of thame abiding by the script to the t is haunting. becoming mars, becoming a leader, becoming the company's money maker, he lost his voice. he lost his stance. he lost everything. he became the company's puppet. his feelings don't matter.

his initial intention was so pure, to the extent of naivety. he did everything for the sake of mars. he thought he was helping mars to reach stardom, to be in a better position. but absent-mindedly, all these solo projects and opportunities led him astray from the group. and when he wanted to do a song with mars again, khun pemika said it was no longer necessary.

clearly, the company (especially khun pemika) manipulated and gas-lighted thame into believing he was the reason behind mars's downfall and their friendship.

it hurts because thame truly believed he was the cause, and he couldn't fix it. he should just run with this narrative since his friends hated him too, right? and the media often painted him negatively too.

but not until po. not until po assured him that he should try and work things out. he should at least be sincere with his feelings for once before he left everything behind—before his solo debut in Korea.

when thame admitted he couldn't say anything but I'm sorry, I think, for this moment, it's more than enough. it takes a lot to accept and acknowledge our mistakes, and even more so to apologise. it's so brave of thame to finally come to terms with the truth that has been haunting him all this time.

4. "i fixed this suit" — a foreshadowing of a budding friendship/companionship

this whole sequence drives me insane because so many things are happening!

i honestly didn't expect po to admit that he had an ex to thame this early. i wonder if it was a slip of his tongue because the silence afterwards was heavy with tension. it's like thame was analysing everything about what po said and how he behaved around him, was it because of his ex?

and po... he was surprised with his response, too! sometimes I think po didn't want to show that vulnerable side of his, but it came out unexpectedly... maybe he was getting comfortable with thame?

po looked like he wanted to run away (he did) and um... if I were thame... i think I might fall for him right there and then (sorry for this).

it's so cute! po is just... adorable. and he's so loveable. he's so honest with his feelings and I think thame really loves that about po. po's directness pushes thame to be frank with his feelings too.

(shoutout to est and william for turning every scene romantic and intimate when it was intended. i can't imagine how I'll react once they start feeling more than just friends... I'll pass out for sure.)

this! thame was looking at the suit po fixed—and he would ask for po's help to reunite the group! genius! this is an amazing shot and direction, really. I'm obsessed (p'mui, I adore you T_T).

and this freaking sandwich! i can't believe po no longer has to feel uneasy or guilty about taking two sandwiches because he finally has someone to share it with! cheers to po and his new-found (future) love! it's also a sign of mutuality and acceptance to help each other out. what a sweet ending to the episode!

i can't wait for the next episode. jun is going to be in it and I love how they're setting up a possible conflict; thame trusting jun but jun going against him. it's either jun is really plotting something devious, or it was just his plan to 'distract' khun pemika/the company from discovering their true agenda. i hope it's the latter because I can't handle one mars member being the antagonist :'( it'll hurt so bad...

[crabsnpersimmons]

"Your heart was in the right place. Don't blame your earnestness and efforts for their lack of understanding—the right people will appreciate your heart."

EDIT: i mention this in the tags already, but please don't copy my vent tags in your reblogs. thanks for understanding.

[vaguely-concerned]

just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2

[butteredfrogs]

vent in tags

[not-poignant]

Hello! I read some of your reposts about importance of comments and that any can be usefull to self evaluation as author. My question - is it weird and uncomfortable if people bring too many personal problems commenting your fics? Like, do you distant yourself out from comments that bring a lot of person's drama, does it feel uplifting in the end, if comment is a lot about reader's not so happy history? Can you still feel joy from that kind of comment?Thanks for unswer if you do.Have a nice day!

Hi anon,

So, this is kind of complex. I would say the vast majority of people don't overshare at all, and when they are sharing from their lives, it's in a way that makes complete sense and is very 'contained.' I can tell they're not expecting emotional labour from me, and that they're sharing because they found a point of resonance between themselves, the story, the situation, or the character/s, or a combination of all of the above.

And like, that's a part of why I write, y'know? I want to strike up that sense of resonance in folks who relate to these characters, so when people share that it has resonated, that's like... purposeful and meaningful to me. I feel like I've made a connection. I also sometimes feel sorrowful - like when someone explains they relate to Efnisien because of abuse they've also experienced, or when someone explains that they relate to a character's chronic illness because of their own.

But I can also generally tell through tone and language that the commenter doesn't expect labour from me, they're speaking their pain into the world in a way that's like 'this is me, and here's this character, and we both share this thing in common.' In a perfect world, none of us would know what this kind of pain is like. In this world, a lot of us do, and we get to feel less alone when we read stories where we feel seen.

And that is, by and large, the general experience when readers share something personal that they resonated with in a comment.

That being said, I do also maintain very strong boundaries with people's personal matters, because I'm not someone who's 'healed and above all my own issues who is sharing what I've learned to people still going through it' I am someone who is still going through it. And often folks have no idea what kind of day I'm having or how I'm feeling when they comment, and so... on the very very rare occasion I do get a comment that feels like it's pushing for some kind of emotional labour that's beyond what I can give... I will not give that labour. I will acknowledge their comment, thank them for reading, and not...give energy I don't have to spare.

And like, honestly, 99 times out of 100, everyone is very respectful of that and even caring towards it.

I can probably count on like two hands, in ten years, the commenters who I felt had become very self-focused or what I felt was over-sharing in comments in a way that sort of...was no longer about me or the story, where they just treated the comment section as a diary instead. In those cases I tend to leave very brief acknowledgements, as a kind of 'I see this, I know this is painful, but this is not my lane, and I don't want this to be my lane.' But a more compassionate version of that.

If anything, the most personal stories, anon, come to me in Asks that are sent via Tumblr, off anonymous, so I can reply privately. These folks are usually very...aware that I might not be in the space to hear them, and are frankly the most 'if you don't have time or energy to reply please don't pressure yourself', so I feel no burden or obligation and that usually makes it easier to reply in my own time.

The ones that come to me via anon, I only reply to selectively, and that depends on a few factors. Some things are extremely personal and frankly I'm not comfortable replying because even if I did it would be to say 'I think a professional needs to handle this.' I've also - very rarely - had a few people do things that were not cool, to manipulate me into caretaking them, usually because they want the comfort feeling that one of my characters creates, and then from there thinks 'Pia made that character so they can give that to me instead.' This doesn't happen often, but it's very distinct when it does.

But that's rare! Super rare!

It might be that others read the comments of folks in fics and think 'I would never share those kinds of details about my life like that' and that's fine for them - but some folks do need to share, and want to feel seen because they felt seen during the fic, and I have no problems with that in general.

I have learned so so much about the human condition, about the fact that things that I thought literally no one would relate to are things that actually a lot of people relate to, etc. through the grace and vulnerability of the folks who comment on my fics with personal anecdotes or even just 'I've been through something like this, and I thought you showed it well / it's a painful thing to go through.'

I know a lot of authors wouldn't have much patience with that maybe? I don't know. I'm literally writing trauma recovery, mental illness and chronic illness, queerness and neurodivergence, and people going through tough times. I don't think an author ends up writing that stuff if they're generally not looking to make a connection with fellow folks who have also gone through some tough times! And even if I can't be those people's support systems, I think all of us having these ephemeral moments of effectively saying: 'Same bro' through the comments, is pretty powerful, and magical, actually.

Caveat: If a person brings personal problems into my fics with the expectation that I will then fix them, that's something I don't really do and don't enter into. That's where my boundaries are firm. Sometimes I won't even acknowledge those kinds of situations at all. If a person reads something for free and then seeks to obligate a complete stranger into being their support or therapist, there's a much bigger issue going on there that isn't my business, and I generally will maintain significant distance in those situations.

TL;DR - I don't think I'd write these stories if I didn't want to make connections with folks who have also gone through some hard times. The vast majority of people who bring up personal stuff aren't necessarily bringing me 'joy' - but I don't just look for joy in the comments, anon, I also look for connection, resonance, moments of feeling less alone, and sometimes that's not easy, but it's still very special. As for the very rare occasions where someone wants me to personally hold their hand, I step back, because a) that's not my job, and b) I don't think folks realise sometimes just how much proverbial hand-holding I need as well lol - I might sound like I have my shit together, but I do not.

[theirloveisgross]

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[gob-lob]

me when someone talks to me online: yay!!! yippie!!!! hi!!! :D friends!!!

me trying to talk to someone online: hello. hi. sorry if I'm bothering you. I think you're the coolest person ever. anyways sorry for existing. yeah you can kill me if I'm annoying you I don't mind. sorry. my bad.

[yuunnikko]

Saying Goodbye to My Mask event on project sekai may have been a premonition of having my own mental health tank to the same level as Mafuyu's because well. Let's just say. The depression. (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

[simptasia]

of the veronaville sims left in that poll, i hope tybalt wins the whole thing because of the characters left, he's the one with the most personality and flavour

[random-animefan]

Omggggggg why do I feel so horrible today :( since waking up I'm a bit dizzy and I've got no energy and I'm soooo tired

I'm a bit sad about not using the day fully. On vacation rn and all and I only got today and tomorrow left (and till 2 pm übermorgen)

But honestly amazing week and ig it's fine if I go to sleep for a bit. No use forcing myself to do stuff half dead

I'm gonna go back to my hotel and sleep for a bit ✌️

[nyxavana]

man. just thinking about raiding burns me out so quickly

[pcetstcrtured]

tell me why i just deadass forgot my sister isn't on tumblr/in the rpc & just had the thought 'i just posted that starter (on my sideblog to be clear), she's gonna see that & know that i'm active & think i'm ignoring her texts'

[suiana]

I'm thinking about a yandere! secretary who's an absolutely manipulative piece of shit❤️

you hired him because his resume was impeccable and you thought he'd be a perfect fit for the empty position.

which... he is.

but the fact that he's younger than you by a decent amount and can be quite unprofessional at times does throw you off. is it something younger people like doing? is it normal to visit your employee's house with no one else around?

"hey boss, I'm thinking of inviting you over to my place tonight? just the two of us? we can drink and eat fried chicken together❤️"

"my dear, that is rather unprofessional don't you think?"

"what? no of course not. you're thinking into it too much."

it doesn't help that you're sort of a people pleaser and give into his demands easily.

you just want to see all your employees be happy! is that so wrong of you? of course not! and all your other employees (excluding your secretary) all appreciate and treat you with respect. and as you know by now, your secretary is an asshole who makes use of your easily swayed personality to get you to do... things in his favour.

but you don't know that! you just think it's because of the age gap that causes you not to understand his actions and words! surely he's not trying to love you right?

"boss~ don't you think i should meet your family? your parents? you met mine the other day didn't you? oh my parents absolutely loved you! they thought you were so sweet and-"

"w-well... that's only because you got a raise and you suggested i should inform your family about how well you were performing during work... there's no reason for you to meet my-"

"boss, be serious. do you hate me?"

"no of course not! i-"

"that's settled then! we can go and meet your family after this!"

"...yes, my dear."

with that said, he's also an excellent actor and knows how to play things to his advantage. by the time you realize what's going on, you'll already be trapped in the palm of his hand.

"my dear... i am so sorry. we shouldn't have slept together, nor gotten together. it was a severe lapse in judgement and I'm sorry that i crossed the line between personal and professionalism."

"what are you talking about darling? don't worry your silly head over all that. professionalism? who needs that? all the other employees think we look great together, and your family loves me! plus, I'm your boyfriend that you love, yes?"

"i-"

"now stop speaking about stupid things. you don't have to worry about that anymore. just listen to me. it's normal to date your secretary. it's what the younger people are doing nowadays! I'm already 26! so don't worry..."

and it's not like you can just fire him either. like i said, he does an excellent job at being your secretary. also the fact that he practically controls HR and influences them into thinking every other potential employee is subpar. so when you hold a meeting about whether to fire him everyone protests against it. but that's not important.

besides, he won't let you do that. why would you want to get rid of him? you only need him don't you? he's perfect for this job! you don't need another secretary. you don't need anyone else.

just him. only him.

and you two will be happy together as long as you listen to his words and don't try getting rid of him. after all, you might be older but times are changing! you need the hand of a younger and more knowledgeable person. he'll help you bring the company to greater heights and bring in more revenue for you!

so stop talking about how it's wrong. it's not. it's the way of the new generation! and he just.. loves you very much. way too much.

[kerosene-saint]

what mutual am i (made by me cause I thought it would be fun) ASK GAME

[Picture ID: A drawing with 12 circles all different colors and labeled different things, bullet points follow under them.

the first circle is a deep purple with light purple glitter particles. It's labeled "purple glitter" and the bullet points under it say: "fabulous", "I love your aesthetic very much", "you do have an abnormal amount of microplastics in your blood though".

the second circle is a neon green with a lighter green wave around it. it's labeled radioactive. the bullet points for it are "some sort of creature", "you give bioluminessence vibes".

the third circle is a medium pink with dark green leave and a stem on the top. it's labeled starberry. the bullet points are "I think we should bake together", "flower crowns possibly".

the fourth circle is a light seafoam green labeled seafoam green. the bullet points are "maybe a little snobby", "calm yourself", "I don't know why I still follow you tbh", "Maybe I'm just reading you wrong".

the fith circle is multiple colors, in order from top to bottom: very light blue, sky blue, yellow, red, black, purple, pink, to light pink. it's labeled do you like the color of the sky. the bullet points are "you're always on tumblr", "hits post limit daily", "you should go watch some tumblr history videos if you haven't already".

circle number six is a brick pattern labeled throwing bricks. the bullet points are "you're my resource for all of the things happening in the world", "probably really punk or at least an Anarchist".

circle number seven is a red panda's facial fur pattern labeled red panda. the bullet points are "so soft", "very small", "you're so cute", "my favorite silly".

circle eight is a light off white color labeled cu- I mean creme. the bullet points are "Hey there", "I mean you wanted to-", "slash jay".

circle nine is a deep gold color with a light shine to it labeled stay gold. the bullet points are "book reader", "how do you read so many", "pretty cool", "also a nerd".

the tenth circle is a medium purple with a light purple heart in the center. it's labeled my favorite purple. the bullet points are "you're my favorite person on this hellsite", "why are you here, you're so nice", "are you a people pleaser".

the eleventh circle is a bright pink with pastel pink stars labeled barbie dream house. the bullet points are "nostalgia.", "do you live in the past I swear you do", "are those rose tinted glasses comfortable bub".

the final circle is a black color with a red blood splotch. it's labeled Gerard Way in the 2000s. the bullet points are "popular mutual", "I think you're pretty neat and also kind of scary", "probably really sweet but I'm still intimidated". /.End ID]

[kyoohyeon]

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