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frickfatphobes · 7 months ago

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Any advice for how to accept your body and it's needs for someone who's gained a significant amount weight over the past decade and a half? I wasn't always as big as I am now, when I was 20 I was around 130-150lbs but around then I started taking a medication which has lead me to steadily gaining weight to the point I am now in my mid 30s at around 410lbs last time I went to the doctor. I've read up on fat liberation and it seems pretty clear to me that losing weight is unrealistic but sometimes it's just hard to accept that this is how big I am now. I look back at pictures from back in the day and remember how easy it was getting around, how I could spend all night out and never get tired. These days I can barely go grocery shopping without becoming exhausted. I've debated getting a mobility scooter but it just sounds so defeating but deep down I have a feeling it's what my body needs. I've tried light exercise and though it's improved my mobility some I still have some trouble getting around and still need to take breaks to sit down when walking longer distances.

Sorry if this is a lot I've just been thinking about this lately my bodies just gone through much change compared to when I was younger that I'm looking for some outside input.

No need to apologize. I love receiving asks like this and I'm happy to share my thoughts! Of course I'm no expert, but I'll do my best to provide good advice based on the information you provided here.

There are many challenges that come with accepting one's body, especially when it's more than just aesthetics that are affected by a person's size or weight. Fat liberation, as fantastic as it can be at healing someone emotionally or mentally, cannot change physical or mobility-related difficulties.

I've had an experience lately that reminded me that there are many fun things I used to love doing that I can't anymore, because the world refuses to become more inclusive to accommodate people like me. And you may think that your case isn't about inclusivity, but it might be somewhat related. Maybe you could still be able to spend a whole night out if you didn't have to waste your energy looking through a million places to find one that will accommodate you, or have large or comfortable enough seats, or don't force you to park super far away from the bar or club you want to visit.

And more importantly, you never should have been taught by media or parental figures or friends that using a mobility device means you're giving in to defeat. That is internalized ableism. Regardless of a person's weight, they should never feel weak or guilty for being accommodated for, even if they "don't really need it." (If it's preventing pain or exhaustion, it actually IS a necessity.)

Now, all that being said, I'm going to do my best to give you some advice based on what I've read here. Please remember that in the end, you know yourself and your body better than anyone else does, and if any of the advice feels wrong to you, then please take it with a grain of salt.

First, I think you should absolutely consider getting a mobility aid. You don't have to use it all the time, but if it will help prevent pain or exhaustion, it's worth looking into. You don't deserve to be tired or hurting all the time.

Second, if exercise helps you, keep finding ways to move that you enjoy and that feel good to you. The benefits of exercise cap out at around twenty minutes a day, and it doesn't even have to be consecutive. Don't ever push yourself past your limits or continue if you're in pain. Despite popular belief, exercise shouldn't hurt.

Third, keep looking into fat liberation. It has helped my mental health a ton. The best way to be happy with your body is realizing that there's nothing wrong with it as it is now, even if it often feels that way because of the constant bigotry around you. It sucks to get tired more quickly than you used to, but you can absolutely still live an amazingly fulfilling life without your body being the way it was.

Whatever you do, don't let anyone tell you that you aren't allowed to use a mobility aid or live happily in your body as it is. You deserve to feel joy without having to lose weight first.

I hope this helped at least a little bit, and I hope things get better for you.

#fat liberation #ask

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significant-narratives · 10 months ago

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as a mitch scholar is mitch a mirrorball or a this is me trying?

anon, thank you for your patience!! i have been turning this ask around in my mind since the day i got it... i am so honoured you would come to me of all people for mitch scholarship i hope i was able to do your ask justice 🫡

the tl;dr -- gut reaction is to say 'mirrorball', but ultimately 'this is me trying' is, i think, a better fit for mitch (at least, through my own lens).

more in depth musings below the cut (fair warning a lot of this is just me rambling aimlessly)

i'd start by saying i think that mirrorball and this is me trying (timt) do share a fair amount of overlap in terms of the themes they touch on (identity, abandonment issues, fear of losing your shine/potential, wistful longing), and because of that, i think you could make a strong argument for either song.

you could probably make an argument that mirrorball fits more when mitch was a rookie, to an extent.

for example, if we take the opening verse of mirrorball:

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight I'll get you out on the floor Shimmering beautiful And when I break it's in a million pieces

well that's mitchell 'swiss army knife' marner for you... makes his linemates better, makes the pk better, makes our pp look functional. team has a problem? send in the mouse.

but here's where the mirrorball narrative starts to not work quite as well, i think:

I want you to know I'm a mirrorball I can change everything about me to fit in

how do i explain this... this implies a level of persona building that mitch doesn't have, imo? from everything we've seen as fans, and what we've heard from coaches, friends, teammates past and present etc, mitch is very much himself all the time. even when it doesn't necessarily serve him well (see: his relationship w/ the press).

moreover, mirrorball is a song that grapples with this idea of how to keep someone's attention and affections by changing yourself -- 'i've never been a natural'. i would argue that mitch is a natural. he has that inherent starlike quality to him and his game that -- while definitely bolstered by years of hard work -- is also, an inherent part of who he is. he's weaving spells on ice. making magic out of thin air.

i think patty put it best during his leaf to leaf with mitch:

mitch: if there was one piece of advice you'd like me for me to remember for the rest of my career, what would it be? [...] patrick: for you, i would just realize how good you are. i don't know if you realize how good you are, are going to be.

how good you are. are going to be. mitch was always going to be a star, i think. now whether or not he can handle the weight that comes with burning that bright... well.

which brings us to timt:

I've been having a hard time adjusting I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting I didn't know if you'd care if I came back I have a lot of regrets about that Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down

mitch was born and raised in toronto, and this city demands a lot from him. he's our hometown hero and somewhere along the way, that stopped being a blessing and turned into a bit of a curse.

there's a lot of pressure on this core to deliver toronto to the promised land. for mitch, this pressure is made worse by the fact that a significant portion of the fanbase is still mad over his last contract (how dare he not take a hometown discount + his contract negotiations were rather... public) + he faces a lot of criticism for his game 'not translating' in the playoffs (despite the fact that. the stats don't support this i don't believe?).

like. he had the shiniest wheels now they're rusting! would you even care if he came back! (also also. 'followed my fears all the way down' ... him sitting in that penalty box trying not to cry as he watched their playoff hopes exploded... yikes yikes yikes)

And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad I have a lot of regrets about that I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere Fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here

that aries moon babyyy. he's blunt he's got big opinions he is squeaking at the refs and yapping on the bench! honestly crazy to me that mitch's undiganosed-adhd-coded ass ended up with two of the most patient people on earth for teammates.

'i was so ahead of the curve / the curve became a sphere' he was shattering records as a rookie! he was a star prospect! and now the ontario hockey uncles and the media are trying to put shambles in his brain!

And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

this is verse is about 1634. no i won't elaborate.

And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (And maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying At least I'm trying

and here we are at perhaps the most central part of this song. i want you to know that i'm trying. and this is truly a key part of the mitch marner thesis.

he's always going to give it one more shot. and maybe this time he'll manage to make it right. he can't be any other version of himself but who he is, but he's here. and he's trying. he's wearing his heart on his sleeve. he's hugging carlton the bear during warmups and flipping pucks at kids over the glass. he still wears the pink bracelet hayden gave him. he's drawing smiley faces on his gloves and cellying 'like an idiot [...] like i'm back in juniors'. they hate him for his inherent whimsy and unbreakable spirit but truly where would we be without mitch marner.

#anon i'll be so fr with you i have NO idea what happened here #i wrote this reply in bits and pieces over several days and i think at some point i lost track of where i was going #but i hope that it's at least entertaining #i am always open to peer review / additional thoughts as long as you're decent about it. cheers!#the asked and the answered

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showfallmediacameracrew · 1 year ago

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[This post was made using Showfall Media Text-To-Speech. If you believe there's been an error and would like to end Showfall Media Text-To-Speech, please say 'End transcript'. ]

[Nonverbal input Registered as: fabric and upholstery shifting with weight, a barely perceptible huff of satisfaction as the conversation begins to be heard.]

J: ...Just give me a second Ruth, normal seats are annoyingly difficult for me to sit in with my tail in the way. I’ll put my phone right there, to make it more comfortable for me, apologies if my lounging might make it seem as though I’m not taking this seriously.

R: No, no, you’re totally fine. Ah. I can understand why that would be an issue. Erm. So.

[Nonverbal input Registered as: Clearing throat from unregistered user]

R: What are you doing out of the facility? I know you said you were looking for some sort of restaurant, but I’d imagine there’s food inside the facility too?

J: Yeah, but it’s mall food, and mall food is shit. Besides, not exactly good for a date night to eat where you live and work, and I figured food prepared at a place that knows what it's fucking doing might taste better.

R: Wai- date?? With who?

[Altered Pitch Registered: quieter but not a whisper.]

R: I didn’t know demons had, like. Romance. Huh.

J: Yeah... you're going to need to like, stop believing demons are emotionless or whatever. You're aware we’re the same level of sentient beings right? Like we do a lot of the same stuff humans do, we’re just different and cooler.

[Nonverbal input Registered: user huffs, unclear if meant to be a laugh or a sigh of botherment]

J: He’s not a demon though, he’s a normal human, kinda eccentric, but he’s my Little Bird.

[Nonverbal input Registered: pen scratching on paper.]

R: Fascinating--wait, that’s another thing, does he work within Showfall? And what would you say is, like, the demon to human ratio in there?

J: He used to work for Showfall, now I think he’s living in the walls or somewhere else, but maybe he’ll wanna live in the room I commandeered for myself later. Most of the people working there are human though. There are other demons of course, but not as many as you probably were thinking.

[Nonverbal input registered: shifting fabric and a dull thump from what could be a tail as he snorts]

J: Most of them aren’t powerful at all, like Chase, just lower demons who do the jobs they're given and lack any significant powers. Isn’t that right, G’lopp? Just a weak slime demon who gets stuck to the floor because your suit was the only thing really sticky about you.

[Nonverbal input registered: Chair scraping against wood and a startled noise]

C: … What??

R: You own a suit?

C: No??

J: It was more a costume then anything, acting and stuff. His memory has never really been the best, though that could be said for a lot of the lower demons. The suit was just a one time thing before he was put in the recent job he had before... getting here.

C: … Yeah. Uh. Something like that.

R: The demons are actors??

J: Some of them! Most are humans. The demons mostly help with the special effects if they have the power for that.

[Altered Pitch Registered: whispered]

R: Hah! I suspected that…

[Nonverbal input registered: pen scratching again, a closer quiet rumble of a chuckle from right beside the mic speaker from the phone's user.]

R: Uhhh, okay, what’s with the whole…? Amphibious features thing?

J: Do you know what’s the most special feature about an Axolotl, Ruth? They can heal themselves, they can lose limbs and grow them back. They can do this with even their own hearts and brains. Why wouldn’t someone, already fairly powerful, want an ability like that? It has its drawbacks, having to be submerged in water for a certain amount of time and being sure I’m never fully dry, but it’s cool. It’s fine. It’s useful for someone with my job to be able to heal from potential grievous injuries.

[Time between last spoken words: 10 seconds broken by a loud sigh directly against the speaker mic]

J: It was...you could say, an experiment done by a... friend. We’d gotten into a rather bad fight against some powerful enemies, and the friend had recently... gained powers that allowed the alterations, of a sort. It’s a little fuzzy for me personally, I’m sure you understand, I wasn’t really awake for the decision.

R: … No. No yeah I understand. That… You don’t seem particularly happy about it?

J: Oh I am. Axolotls are my favorite animals! It’s mostly the wings that I’m not a fan of. I can understand how you hadn't noticed.

[Nonverbal input registered: a dull thump and grunt as the registered user shifts fabric, and something light brushes across the speaker as it flopped down to the floor, shifting starting up again as registered user continues back in original position.]

J: They don’t work, they were broken during the fight. I... had a raven companion, who would become part of me and lend me his wings. He died when the wings were broken, and without his presence, they can’t be used. This sort of injury, from the being that did it, can’t be healed by normal animal means.

R: That’s… I’m sorry about your bird. I kind of figured this was just your demon appearance, I didn’t realize it had, like. A whole backstory for all of it, I guess?

J: Heh, that’s a good word for it, yes. I did say I was a vampire first. The horns and everything else came later, I did grow more sharp teeth from the axolotl stuff, I think that amused Angus. He was uh, a werewolf friend I had at the time. He’s the one who did the Axolotl thing.

[Time between last spoken words: 6 seconds, then an amused snort detected to be feigning wistfulness upon internal analysis.]

J: The good news about it though is I sometimes see my raven's ghost. A wonderful perk of assuming the position of the God of the Dead after killing the old one.

R: … God. Like. Like an actual God.

J: Yes. Angus only was able to save me because he took control over the domain of the God of Animals a few weeks before. You didn’t think I was calling myself a demon king because I’m a vampire, did you? I’m a demon, what humans would probably call a monster even, and I happen to be the ruler over the realm of the dead.

R: … Wow. Wait, I… am I supposed to like, uh, address you as your majesty or something??

C: No, you don’t have to. It’s. Uh. Optional.

J: You're also not dead yet, so no. He’s right. The old gods were old enough to no longer remember their own names, and now they’re dead, along with the whole ‘your majesty’ deference bullshit thing. They didn’t even do their jobs anymore at the point we killed them, it was a whole issue, that’s why me and my friends fought them. Now death is treated like the next stage in life, like it should be. I’m perfectly content being known as the Demon King.

R: Oh, shit, are you saying humans become demons when they die, or like-?

J: I’m saying your soul goes to the afterlife, where I will rule when I’m fully old enough to assume the title. For now, I can summon and talk to ghosts sometimes, but mostly I’m just hanging out. Seeing the life my friend Dixie thrives in. She’s the goddess of life, she’s technically still human probably. I assume she’s somewhere in a flower field at this point getting excited about bee pollination.

C: I can see why she would be. Absolutely, uh, invigorating stuff.

R: Wait, how old even are you?

[Nonverbal input registered: A brief laugh after Chase spoke, weight shifting as fabric rustles. The possible tail thumping a few more times as registered user hummed thoughtfully]

J: Oh, I’m 25. This happened around when we all were 12 or so, maybe a bit older for a few of us. I’ve got a few years until I need to actually go back to the afterlife and properly train to care for the souls.

[Time between last spoken words: 4 seconds]

R: Is that like when your contract ends, or…

J: Contracts aren’t a thing, no one wants your soul. There’s no currency or buying shit when you're dead, and demons don’t really...claim lives I guess? Like they can say they have your soul but everyones going to my domain regardless. I’m like the Devil, I guess, if we want to choose a religion to fuck with. Except hell is also Heaven and there's ghosts and monsters and stuff just... existing. That, that’s most of what I learned in the little bit of training I got before working with Showfall. There's... probably more.

[Nonverbal input registered: Slight shifting of fabric again, moment of contemplated silence]

J: That isn't when anything ends really though, just when I’m old enough to assume responsibility and fully come into my title, I suppose.

R: Okay, yeah, that makes sense, uhm. And- oh, I forgot to ask this one- what’s your job, at Showfall, exactly?

J: I’m a Director of Photography, a DP. I work on a camera crew, basically. Done that for five years. It’s fun, I tell people what to do, it’s sort of my own version of learning to lead and direct people to do what I want them to do.

R: Huh. And what were you doing before then…?

J: Jumped into the afterlife after one of my friends literally turned into the moon. It took awhile to kill what literally amounted to a concept instead of a physical person. So, I guess she isn’t technically the moon. That was... that took some years. And I had to leave once everything had settled to establish my connection to the afterlife before it probably imploded or something.

[Time between last spoken words: 6 seconds]

R: … Wow. You’ve had, uh, quite the eventful life, huh?

J: Yeah, which is why it’d be nice to go to a normal restaurant, and have dinner with my boyfriend. If you could give me some names of ones you know around here. You can ask me any other questions you have of course, but this seemed like a good time to ask again.

Altered Pitch, subverbal input only heard from closeby proximity: barely a mutter]

J: Save draft, end transcript now before this gets-

[Transcript has ended. Thank you for using Showfall Media Text-To-Speech! Saving to Draft Downloads... ]

#showfall ask blog #showfall media #showfall camera operator #ask blog #showfall media ask blog #showfall jasprix #encoreverse blog #this conversation lasted #for hours #until the sun was close to setting and I had to make excuses #to finally leave #Ugh

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cleverhottubmiracle · 3 days ago

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Shonda Rhimes, the iconic producer behind Bridgerton, Grey’s Anatomy and more, has never shied away from breaking the mold—whether in her storytelling or in her personal life. And when the TV star debuted her 150-pound weight loss transformation in 2017, she made it clear that the journey was to better her health and not for society’s approval. Rhimes has been open about losing weight, sharing that she didn’t limit any foods and focused on realistic milestones. Here, we break down Shonda Rhimes’ weight loss strategy and get expert insights to help you reach your own health goals. What inspired Shonda Rhimes’ weight loss After struggling with her weight for years, Rhimes decided it was time to make healthier changes. In 2014, she revealed in her memoir, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person, that it was time to focus on her health when she could no longer buckle her seatbelt on an airplane. She was also motivated to lose weight for her two daughters. In a personal essay Rhimes shared in 2017, she revealed that she had ultimately lost 150 pounds. “A couple of years ago, I lost a significant amount of weight. Over a hundred pounds. Maybe closer to 150,” she wrote. “I did not do it because I thought I would become beautiful like in the movies. I did it because I could not walk up a short flight up stairs without stopping to take a break and wiping sweat from my brow. I did it because my body was physically rebelling against the brain that had been ignoring it for so long.” How people reacted to her weight loss Since embarking on her weight loss journey, Rhimes found that people’s perception of her shifted—something that shook her to her core. “After I lost weight, I discovered that people found me valuable,” she wrote in a 2017 newsletter. “Worthy of conversation. A person one could look at. A person one could compliment. A person one could admire. A person. You heard me. I discovered that NOW people saw me as a PERSON.” “These days, I feel like a chunky spy in a thinner world,” she continued. “Strangers tell fat jokes in front of me. Jokes not meant for me. But…completely for the woman I used to be 150 pounds ago. The woman I could be again one day. The woman I will always be inside. Because being thinner doesn’t make you a different person. It just makes you thinner.” Shonda Rhimes’ weight loss journey: How she shed 150 lbs While grappling with the public’s opinions on her weight loss and new figure, Rhimes said she worked hard to adopt healthier lifestyle habits, including getting better sleep and drinking more water. She didn’t follow a specific diet or get weight loss surgery, like some rumors suggested. Instead, she focused on three things that really kickstarted her journey: talking to her doctor, shifting her relationship with food and exercising more. Here’s how her strategies can help you reach your goals: She consulted with her doctor In her memoir, Rhimes shared that the first step to getting healthy was going to see her physician. “I went to my doctor and I said, ‘I don’t wanna be fat anymore. Help. Me.’ My doctor literally applauded me,” she wrote. Another important step was getting a physical. “I asked for and got a complete physical. I did this so I knew where I was starting out because I wanted to know what I was working with,” she continued. “I wanted to be able to see progress in even the smallest ways. I also did whatever my doctor told me to do.” Many people might skip this step, but your doctor can provide a personalized weight loss strategy that fits your specific health needs or direct you to another health care provider who can help and support the journey, explains Chris Mohr, PhD, fitness and nutrition advisor at BarBend. He adds that they can look at existing medical conditions, examine medications and make sure your approach is safe and sustainable for long term success. She reexamined her eating habits Rhimes reflected on her relationship with food in her memoir, realizing that she was using food as a way to cope with difficult feelings. Rather than depriving herself, Rhimes decided that she wasn’t going to stop eating what she loved. “I could eat anything I wanted. As long as I ate a reasonable portion,” she wrote. That’s smart, since cutting too many calories can actually hinder weight loss. “When we under-eat, our metabolism slows down, our body holds onto fat for survival and we end up feeling tired, cranky and craving everything in sight,” says Carrie Lupoli, nutritionist, founder and behavior specialist at Disruptive Nutrition. It’s about eating right, not eating less, she adds. Ultimately, Rhimes also learned to listen to her body for hunger and fullness cues, which helped her adjust her relationship with food. “Our bodies are incredibly smart—they tell us when we need fuel, when we’re satisfied and even when certain foods don’t sit well with us,” says Lupoli. “When we slow down and tune in, we can eat in a way that supports our energy levels, mood and metabolism.” She began moving more Rhimes worked with Jeanette Jenkins, a celebrity personal trainer, to explore different forms of exercise and what worked best for her. “When I was ready, I called a trainer,” she wrote in her memoir. “I’d worked with Jeanette Jenkins before. Well, mostly I’d complained and wheezed while she tried to get me to move my body. Now, I was ready to do what I was told. Jeanette got me doing Pilates and I loved it. I mean, who wouldn’t? It’s exercise you do lying down. For real. It’s like the universe finally decided to cut me some slack.” While most of us don’t have access to a personal trainer, simply getting your body moving is the most important thing, says Lupoli. “There are so many free or low-cost options out there—YouTube workouts, fitness apps and even walking outside can make a huge difference.” She adds that it’s all about finding something you enjoy so movement becomes a consistent part of your routine and doesn’t feel like a chore. This content is not a substitute for professional medical advice or diagnosis. Always consult your physician before pursuing any treatment plan. Source link

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norajworld · 3 days ago

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drtrusslerliposuctionaustin · 6 months ago

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finsterhund · 11 months ago

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Medication and guilt.

So I'm destined that unless there's significant medical breakthroughs in the treatment of currently chronic conditions to always be taking a variety of medications until I die.

Chronic physical conditions, chronic mental conditions, neurodivergent traits that are benefitted from medication, etc.

I've resigned myself to this. To never surviving in the wild. It's fine.

But recently it's become apparent that cannabis as a consistently reoccurring medication is ultimately more beneficial for me than taking it rarely on occasion.

I feel guilty about this from childhood abuse, shame, and from my birth father being an addict, and it feels like it "doesn't count" and it's "a harder drug than stuff my doctor prescribed me" but ultimately it's just a plant. A flower. I shouldn't be acting like it's somehow worse than my lab grown doctor prescribed antipsychs, antidepressants, etc.

But idk just the guilt and the feeling of being a loser?

Guh.

But undeniable is the fact that cannabis is both significant in helping me manage my physical ailments and my mental ones too. I'm actually able to sit down and be creative and design things and not feel overcome with guilt, perfectionism, and grief. Accessing things that were inside me this whole time but that a significant portion of my brain was cutting me off from. It's like my PTSD makes me suppress enjoying life to prepare me for something bad to happen. And cannabis can briefly prevent that.

I must stress the cannabis does not give me things that weren't already there. It allows me to shut off pain and grief and all of that. To see beyond the constant fog.

With this being said, I am seriously considering making this an intentional reoccurring thing in my life after a detailed conversation addressing the risks with my doctor I had during a previous appointment.

I'm not going into this lightly. I know I'm predisposed to addiction and such. I am aware there are risks and wanted to discuss them first.

But cannabis allows me to experience what it is like to not be suffering all the time. And I think that's something worth pursuing.

I know that as someone who is open about being mentally a child most of the time means that my use of medications might make people uncomfortable and I'm sorry for that. I'd just say to think of it like any other medication I'm working with my doctor on using to help me. I'm a special child after all. Special circumstances.

I'm also going to exclusively be using legal cannabis that has been regulated by the government. If possible I will be looking into medically prescribed too.

I'm of a very scientific mind and I've been trying to approach this as objectively as I can.

Since consuming gummies for pain, the amount of excessive "liver killer" type pain meds I've been taking has dropped drastically, I've had more energy and creativity, and I think I am even losing weight.

I hope you all will not think less of me for this.

~Andy

#text post #drug ment tw #long post

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svereds-wise-words · 1 year ago

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Rashomon

One of the things that would have drawn viewers attention during this time is the mystery and intrigue surrounding the death of the samurai and the insanity of Tajomaru. Throughout the film Tajomaru is continuously laughing maniacally, as if everything was a game to him and that nothing posed a challenge to him. It felt as he couldn't understand the weight of the situation he was in, or simply felt that he was above it all and nothing mattered anymore. Throughout the trial, the defendants recounts all show a significant amount of confusion, delirium. and unease in their statements. In Masako's account, she recalls the dead cold look in her husbands eyes after Tajomaru fled. She retreats away from her husband after asking him to kill her, and her unease grows as the camera sway with her in uncertainty. It swings right and left as she moves back and forth trying to avoid her husbands deathly glare, helping to invoke the emotion Masako had within the audience.

in regards to Takehiro's death, we have three alternate stories (albeit two from the same person, just while they were possessed), allowing the audience to step in and play detective throughout the film. The film is being told by the priest and the woodcutter throughout, but they both reference that it was stranger than anything they had ever experienced, meaning that from the beginning there was never a promise of a clear answer. As the audience in order to truly understand what happened you have to play as detective in order to keep up with everything going on, forcing you to engage. The story keeps you engaged by keeping the actual events obscure and keeping all the stories full of holes and oddities. Every participating character seems to have either lost their mind, or to be losing their mind. It's all kind of weird, and the stories change, so you don't know who to trust or what to believe.

As a final twist to the story, it takes you from the court scene and introduces a baby and tries to accuse the woodsman of stealing the dagger. Another twist of the knife in this story. Where did the baby come from? did the woodsman actually steal the knife, or was he just not able to defend himself because he didn't know where it really was? Why did the woodsman want to take the child in the end? Where is this child's parents? It constantly introduces new questions, never really answering the previous ones with more than speculation and guesswork.

One thing I appreciated was the style of camera movement between similar shots. Whenever they were defending themselves in what I assume was a court, the camera never strayed from still shorts, except when Masako is possessed by the spirit of her dead husband. It helps to establish the shot and increase the familiarity of the scene despite the changing people and appearances.

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talturing · 1 year ago

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Losing Weight at 60

Hey, I lost some weight so I have to say something

I've done some things in my life that I am proud of and some that I am not-so-proud. But fewer are those that impressed me after the fact; and losing weight is something I have done before but to lose weight, again, at 60 years old, in the way I did, and the amount I did, well I am impressed with myself. It won't be something that anyone would ever remember me for. On the surface it is not all that impressive especially in a world where you can find a thousand stories of people who went from 400 pounds, sky-high blood pressure and barely able to stand; then, one year later, running marathons and looking like a fitness model. But being impressed, about anything, has something to do with understanding the associated difficulties and although I am not now participating in extreme sports and my physical looks would not turn your head, I think impressed is the appropriate word.

Why blog about it? As usual, one blogs to share and hopefully to help or aid someone else's thinking or endeavors. But, so you know, my story is not very dramatic, without alot of tears, joyful jumping-in-the-air or life-changing transformations and breakthroughs. I remain, pretty much, the same person I was but, as I said, I am both happy and impressed with my accomplishments. Don't get me too wrong, losing weight, for everyone, is a frustrating, difficult thing and many people blame themselves when they are not successful. But the way I see it, all significant goals are the similar; we aspire, we dream, we try and very often we do not succeed, whether it has to do with launching a successful business, finding a life partner, raising children or even balancing our check books. Somehow, our weight is measured differently, perhaps because almost all of us were content with our weight for the first XX years of our lives and then we lost it. Maybe it's like losing your keys - you know you had it once so it's infuriating that now its gone. How often do you find someone beating themselves up because they aren't as athletic as they "used to be" or as healthy as the "used to be" or as happy as they "used to be". Adulthood and aging brings challenges and most of all change.

Okay, but let me get to it. First just a little background (I promise): I am a 60 year-old man (strange to see me write that) and growing up I was mildly athletic but introverted. I weighted about 150 lbs in high school and that number grew to 220 lbs by the time I was 40. By that time I was married and my wife did all the cooking. A few times since then, I have been able to lose 10-20 pounds but eventually gaining it back. I have joined gyms on and off and have been fairly healthy except for recurring back pain. In this last attempt (I am not so naive to think there will be never be another), I went from about 210 pounds to currently 172 pounds and my goal was 180.

But it didn't happen fast. In the end, it took about 2 years: an average of less than 2 pounds a month. Not a week, a MONTH. It wasn't easy, it was frustrating and I took mild breaks. That doesn't mean that I gave up, just that there might be a week or two where I dropped my routine. The good new, is that toward the end, to my surprise, it got easier and the weight came off faster than before. This is important. Even doing the right things and following my routine, it was still very slow at the start and it was easy to get frustrated and I was often frustrated.

Tip #1 - you have to be in it to win it. That doesn't mean that I was going crazy with exercise or dieting or anything like that. It means that I thought about my routine every day. Even on days when I didn't follow my routine. Still, I thought about it, I reminded myself of my goals, I took the time to be frustrated or to be encouraged or simply to be determined to keep trying. Encouragement from others is probably very important but in my case I didn't have that. I did not really talk about it with others, but that's just me.

Tip #2 - don't go crazy. Set some reasonable expectations. I did not follow any diet. I started to exercise regularly (3-4 times a week) and I watched what I ate. I did not restrict myself from anything but I started to keep to the foods I really enjoyed and ate less of the other stuff. This might be why it was so slow but again it was better to set reasonable expectations than to see great results. I thought about what I was eating. I ignored things that I did not like and started to only eat things I loved especially when it came to fast food or dessert.

Tip #3 - control what you eat. A better way to say that: DON'T LET OTHERS TELL YOU WHAT TO EAT OR DRINK. Yes, they love you and care about you but people just don't take other people's weight loss seriously enough. This is really important. You may not always make the best choices but get used to thinking about what you eat, what snacks you choose, and what you order off the menu. Don't let others bring you drinks and ALWAYS CONTROL YOUR PORTION SIZE! That doesn't mean small portions, it means you are the person who decides how much to put on your plate. Again, if you are going to have a banana split, it should be because you decided that is what you want. Not because your friend decided not to eat theirs and pushed it to you. Don't let people use "wasting food" as a reason why you should eat it. This is hard for people and it will be for you too but you'll get used to it. Sometimes people will just bring you fast food or a desert as a present/surprise. Yes, that was nice of them but don't allow it. As a rule, I now never accept food as a gift. If I think they won't handle it well, then I accept the gift and throw it out later (yes, I will throw it out). As a rule, I will always reject these 'gifts' even if it is exactly as I want. Now, my friends and family are used to it.

Tip #4 - track your weight. I really hate weighing myself and I don't do it every day but aim for once a week. Yes, it SUCKS, sometimes you will be down and many times you won't. Just weight yourself, write it down and move on. In the beginning, it will just go up and down with only a slow gradual drop. Be persistent. I used a weight loss app. It is very simple, I enter a date and a weight and it gives me a graph and some stats. See below I was down 2 lbs for the month, only 0.7 lbs for that week. Those are numbers you won't see on television but look at the total: down 36 lbs over 2 years.

#weight loss journey #getting older

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purplesurveys · 1 year ago

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1766

Would you rather visit The Eiffel Tower or the Egyptian Pyramids? I'd love to go see the pyramids, even though Reddit has heavily implied to me that Egypt isn't the most tourist-friendly place on Earth. Would be a cool thing to tick off my checklist though.

Would you be surprised if your most recent ex called you tonight? Yup, that will never happen so it would be extremely surprising.

Do you need to lose or gain weight? I think I'm at more or less the ideal range now, but for the most part I've needed to gain as I'm often underweight.

Do you think you have a disorder but haven’t been properly diagnosed yet? I'm almost certain there's at least one mental disorder hanging around in there - most likely ADHD.

What is the population of the city you live in? A little under 900,000.

How many pairs of jeans do you own? Somewhere over 10, which is already too many for me tbh haha. I like having choices.

When did you last vacuum your room? Couple of weeks ago.

Have you ever put on or lost a significant amount of weight? The last time either one of these happened was when I lost a lot of weight post-breakup. I've deleted all photos of myself that were managed to be taken at the time because I could hardly recognize my own face and body.

On a scale of 1-5, how often do you curse? Probably a 4 because while I do it frequently, I'm also watchful of the situations I do it in. I wouldn't curse at work or in super public places.

What is the worst thing you’ve ever smelled? Rotten eggs or that infection I got on my foot when I was 11. What’s your favorite social media platform? Reddit.

Name someone with brown eyes. Almost everyone I know has dark brown eyes because, well, that's just how Filipino genes roll.

Do you know what your next injection will be? Most likely just another round of Covid boosters if it comes down to it. I have nothing lined up any time soon though.

Does anyone call you darling? If so who? Nope. That's not a common term of endearment where I live.

If you had to have a cartoon character tattooed to you what would it be? I could go with Pluto so that it can be dog-related.

You have to dye your hair two colours, what do you choose? Pink and orange, just like Hayley Williams in 2013. I've *ALWAYS* wanted to try out that half-and-half style that she did but I'm just way too cowardly to actually push through with it hahaha.

If you could would you look at your future self? Yes. I hate uncertainty and being able to see how my future self would be doing can fix that for me.

Who was your first serious relationship? My first and probably last ex.

If you had to cut a parent out of your life who would you cut out? I hate this question.

If you had to get a piercing right now what would you get done? I would get a nose or lip ring.

Who is the #1 person/thing in your life? I'd put myself at the top of my priorities, honestly.

What are two things you wish you never did? 1) Stop talking to Sofie in college and 2) be an ass of a teenager.

Would you rather have three personal wishes or world peace? I'd get the wishes; I'm a bit pessimistic when it comes to the concept of world peace in that I don't think it will ever be achievable.

What were/is your high school colors? Gold, white, blue.

When someone sneezes, do you say “Bless you,” or “God Bless you?” Just bless you, if I do catch myself greeting someone post-sneeze. I usually just ignore.

Do you ever look at someone cute, and automatically make a move? No.

What are two things you are excited to do in the near future? Get my year-end bonus and use said bonus to go Christmas shopping, hehehe.

Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? I live in a house with my family.

Are you one of those people who like to spell out numbers? Not because I like it but because that's the rule that journalism sets, lol. It's why I spell out one to ten, but use numbers for the rest.

Who was the last person (if anyone) you said Happy Birthday to? Kleo and Leigh, who have consecutive birthdays.

Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I don't have Photoshop; I never learned how to use it lmao.

Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? I know they never understood why I like wrestling so much so maybe that, yeah.

Leggings with denim shorts; yes or no? Let's leave those in the past.

Do you plan your meals in any way? No tbh I just eat whatever I want. I've never been watchful which I know isn't the healthiest thing to do.

Were you in the scouts when you were young? No.

How many people could sleep in your home? (Not counting floor space; beds and couches only) I would say 7 is the maximum before it starts feeling crowded/not comforable.

Have you ever made a hole-in-one at mini-golf? I've never even played any sort of golf besides on Wii Sports.

What genre was the last song you listened to? Who provided the vocals? K-pop. It was a song by Seventeen.

Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? No.

If you could go forward in time and see your life 5 years from now, what would you hope to see? I'd start simple and just hope I see myself still alive by then.

Are you more comfortable with men or women? Women.

Who came over last? A friend of my sister.

Has one of your friends ever tried to “hook you up?” No, they know better than that.

What is your card game of choice? I don't have one. Cards confuse me lol

What is your favourite books series? I never really had one.

If you eat oatmeal, do you add water or milk to it and what’s your favorite flavor? Oatmeal is so gross. I had to eat it everyday at a certain point as a kid that I just want to avoid that lumpy bland mess now.

Was the last video you watched on YouTube a music video and if not, what was it of? No. It was a compilation of Friends scenes because Matty Perry.

Has anyone you know personally ever won the lottery and if so, how much did they win and would you or have you ever played the lottery? I don't know anyone who has and I personally never would. Better safe than sorry.

What was the last thing someone has sincerely thanked you for? The second to the last Grab delivery staff who came to our house had seemed genuinely surprised and thankful for the tip I gave.

What band, celebrity, etc. do you know the most information about and who would you like to learn more about? Probably Audrey Hepburn. I'm not interested in knowing more about anyone else's life.

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homesweetgoodneighbor · 1 year ago

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Lemme tell you, my darlings, there is no shame in asking for help. None. Especially if the thing you're needing help with affects you in emotional or physical ways. And, that could be asking friends for aid or scraping the money together to hire some aid.

Spouse and I are okay financially. Not rich by any means, but things came together Just Right that we were able to buy our house. Now, granted, that sucked away a lot of our buffer in the bank and it takes at least 6 months to a year to stabilize a budget after a major life change.

Now, when I move, I have a tendency to go into nesting mode and just clean EVERYTHING. I hate cleaning as a rule. I mean, I do it, but it takes a lot of battling my executive dysfunction just to get small things done, so it's exhausting as a result. But, when I move, I tend to get a sudden burst of "MUST CLEANSE IT ALL AND MAKE IT MINE."

Except, this time, the day we were finishing up moving from the old place, I got the call about my mom going into the hospital...

...and she didn't come out.

Now, being in mourning on top of my seasonal depression over the most hellish summer I have ever experienced in my life thus far AND my general ADHD/anxiety has made it where I do the exact minimum it takes to keep the house in a healthy state, but gods does it need that kind of spring/fall cleaning that I just can't do right now.

And, it has killed me. It is bothering me to no end. I feel like I failed. It has been a constant source of anxiety no matter how much Spouse assures me it's okay. Yes, he does share the chores, but he also works all day, so I feel bad that I haven't accomplished this. It is literally a sword I'm holding over my own head.

So, I made sure we had the budget, and I called a cleaning service to come in for an estimate on a deep clean.

I know most neurotypicals would be like "you could save the money and do it yourself". Right now? This year? After also losing a cousin I was very close to, after an entire summer of hellish heat that I barely was able to function? No, no I can not. Not without help.

I don't have many friends here anymore since I was gone for 15 years. I don't have a local network I can lean on for aid. I'm rebuilding one, but it takes a lot of time. Besides, I have the means, so there is literally zero reason why I shouldn't do it.

Just scheduling the estimate for the job lifted an enormous weight off me. It's not even a guarantee we will take it, but just knowing someone else can come in and say "Oh yeah, we can do this within your budget" has hit me with ridiculous amounts of seratonin.

People who have never been poor just do not understand what it's like when you can do something like this after never being able to before. People who are neurotypical just don't fucking understand that asking for help when you need it is not a fucking failure in itself.

Doing this will give us a significant improvement on our mental health, not to mention I'm a fucking wiz at keeping up with things once it's cleaned and organized. I just get severely overwhelmed when it comes to getting it there. And, I promise you, with this off my shoulders, it will give me back that energy that is wasted on this anxiety and allow me to do the other things I've been wanting to do.

So, yeah, that whole Boomer bullshit of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps"? It's just that, bullshit. Their excuses don't hold up these days, and it's a pretty fucking cruel way of refusing to help someone.

Humans got this far by helping each other. Do not ever feel like you failed because you need help, even if it's help you have to pay for.

#auntie kami talks

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frzngrapes · 2 years ago

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29/07

Dear Keycie,

I feel way better than last time I wrote to you, though not much has changed. I found the energy necessary to get out of my house, and I see my friends often which keeps my mood lifted!

I don't remember who it was, but someone suggested that maybe I can't handle loneliness well, and that must be the case. I guess the more I stay alone the less energy I have, the less I go out the more it makes me feel depressed. Being forced out of my room to go to a festival my friends class participated in pushed me outside this spiral, and now I'm better.

The last three weeks were really good, going back and forth between seeing M A and P (and their friends, boyfriends and acquaintances) (BTW p's boyfriend became a friend of mine I'm pretty sure? we get along very well), and going to Hendaye to see L and the people who go to the south during the vacation only and meet up at the bar she works at. They're very fun and kind people, I still introduce myself with a feminine name instead of the more masculine one I chose for myself when I'm with them. Also going there so often is very convenient, since it's near Spain and cigarettes are cheaper there. I also just love spending time with L. I know she has some red flags and most of my friends cut ties with her, but I feel loved and respected in our friendship. Also made a friend there, hilarious adorable guy, and we kissed. I really don't see myself being in a romantic relationship with him, but we get along so so well as friends I'm very glad I met him and I hope we get to see each other again a lot (he lives pretty far away </3). With them I went to a nightclub for the first time, in Spain, and it was very cool ! I also go out a lot during the day with my mom and sister, and visiting family. Our relationship really healed, I'll tell you more about it another time. And yeah this is all very fun. I'm having a great summer.

When I last wrote to you my screen time was between 10 and 15 hours a day which is... insane. It's a common experience for people to try escaping the crushing emptiness they feel, or their worries or the fact they hate themselves, by wasting their days away, I know I'm not the only one that used to do that. When I don't feel right, I like to sleep as much as possible. This way I also eat as little as possible and my brain is too weak to make me feel pain. Then when I'm awake, I spend every second possible online, that way time flies extremely fast and I don't have to actually fully experience the day. I don't actually have to be alive. This is obviously bullshit and does no good, doesn't bring me any sense of relief whatsoever, idk why I keep having this behaviour.

More than being lonely, I think restricting my food intake started my last "bad phase" (idk how to word it). I mean it's biological, brain can't produce happy hormones without proper eating. I don't remember what triggered me so bad for me to seriously try to restrict again, all I know is I didn't lose a significant amount of weight so once again I harm myself for nothing.

Speaking of harm, the scars on my arms are starting to bother me... Or more like they've been bothering me since the beginning of summer. Idk I wish they weren't there or weren't as visible. I used to be secretly proud I cut deep enough for it to scar badly, but now I'm just uncomfortable when wearing a t-shirt. I guess I assume people are judging me, and I don't want to wear the history of my struggles on my body anymore. I know people that matter, people I actually want to interact with don't give a shit. Actually people almost never mention it and I rarely get weird looks, but like I know they saw it and it makes me uncomfortable.

I drink way more than usual but it's okay, I'm in control. I guess I have so many friends that have or had a problem with their alcohol consumption that now I'm very weary of mine. Maybe having had to deal with people I love having blackouts, telling me about wanting to end it, not being able to walk on their own very regularly when I was 15/16 made me very aware of my habits and keeping them healthy now.

That was my little life update !! I don't do them as often as I used to, and I think it's too bad because I love going back to them. Actually, I don't like big chunks of my life not being documented here, I don't like realising I haven't written a letter in three months. I missed chatting with you a lot!

PS: I haven't seen E in so long, she's been away ever since the end of June, and I miss her so so much

XOXO (kisses hugs, picture frame designer drugs) (it's a song... anyways), Cherry

#cherrysletters✿

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