frickfatphobes

[frickfatphobes]

https://www.instagram.com/musecurve/p/DJjwR6FAavl/?img_index=3

[frickfatphobes]

[frickfatphobes]

ALT

ALT

old married men at the family function

[frickfatphobes]

me & my gf bring a sort of vodka in a starbucks cup energy to the local beach

[frickfatphobes]

This might sound weird but would you say that simply not wanting to exercise it get in shape because it doesn't make you feel good is valid for a very big girl like me (like around 450lbs)?

I've honestly found that my body feels best when I limit how much I move throughout the day. Some may say that the limitations I have on my mobility are a bad thing but honestly as I've put on weight over the past decade but especially since COVID, I haven't really noticed them that much, I've found ways of adapting to my bodies needs such as having a rolling stool so I don't have to stand or walk to do most housework. Despite all that however, I've tried exercising to at least get my mobility up a little and though it did improve some it always came at the cost of making me feel stressed about continuing to exercise and the constant soreness

I guess I'm just a bit lost, I'm honestly ok with my body currently but I just feel a constant pressure from society and even my own family that it's not ok.

Thank you so much for this ask. I want to say upfront that I'm not a doctor, so please don't take what I say as gospel. I can and do make mistakes. However, I have done a lot of research about these kinds of things, so I'll try my best to formulate a response that I hope will bring you clarity.

"Not wanting to exercise to get in shape" is not a moral failing. Getting into shape or becoming thinner is not something you owe anyone. If you want to make healthy choices (many of which will very likely not make you thinner, because health is a nuanced concept that people don’t fully understand), that's completely up to you.

What many people don't know, is the majority of cardiovascular health benefits cap out at twenty minutes of exercise per day. These minutes simply need to raise your heart rate, and they don't even need to be consecutive.

THAT BEING SAID, if exercise still hurts or makes you very uncomfortable, that means there is a detriment to exercise as well. Is it worth getting daily exercise if it means enduring pain or sensory issues every day? It will depend on the person.

When it comes down to it, intentional weight loss is generally much more harmful to your health than just trying to treat your body well without changing its shape. Getting thinner will be much more detrimental in the long term than letting your body be large in the first place. (See the @bigfatscience blog for more of the medical and scientific side of this.)

When I felt pressured to lose weight, I hated exercise of any kind. It was like torture. At least for me, until I stopped treating exercise as an "I have to," I never wanted to do it. I would say, using similar principles as intuitive eating, don't feel forced to exercise or change your body shape, especially if for the most part, you're okay or happy with your body. If you heal your relationship with exercise down the road and change your mind, great. If you don’t, great. Exercise should not be used as a self-torture method for heavier people.

Your body deserves the same love and respect as any thin or "in-shape" body. Making accommodations for oneself is something I will always be happy to hear someone do. And no, you didn’t “let yourself go” because you decided it wasn’t worth being in pain. Please ignore the societal pressures. You should never ever feel like you have to change because strangers don't like something about you, especially since it isn't hurting them. And if your family is pressuring you? Ignore their pressures tenfold. I became atypically anorexic because my mom wanted a thin daughter. If you don't feel like it will make you happy, there is absolutely no reason you should feel like you have to do it.

TLDR: Ignore anyone who thinks they should be allowed to judge or pressure you, do what makes you feel safe and comfortable and happy, and know that you don't exist on this planet to feel unsatisfied with your body until you leave it.

Thank you so much for the ask. I hope you find more peace and safety in your body as it is. You deserve to feel happy without changing first. <3

[frickfatphobes]

there’s this extremely kind soul of a woman on instagram that makes accessible recipes that don’t require standing, chopping, or a stove and she might just have a permanent place in my heart

[frickfatphobes]

my mum has severe knee problems and needs a replacement. Today she was told she's too fat to be operated on and the knee specialist suggested she gets a gastric band - which also involves surgery. So my mum was like first of all you didn't read my file because it explains that I'm not fat because I eat too much second of all you said it's impossible for me to get surgery and then suggested I get a surgery about it? He then asked her her weight and height, didn't believe her answer, and made her prove it to him because she "looks fatter than that". So she was like so you also just entirely based this on looks instead of actual numbers?

[frickfatphobes]

Hang on a minute…

Shouldn’t all mermaids be fat?

Mermaids are probably mammals, because of their visible breast tissue and horizontal tail fins.

Aquatic mammals need to have developed a thick layer of subcutaneous fat in order to survive in water. Even in a hot climate, swimming in water the whole time would require fatty insulation.

So… chubby mermaids. Yeah.

[frickfatphobes]

more than anything on earth fatphobic thin people love pretending their disgust with feedism is some kind of moral fight on our behalf to protect us poor fatties from something terrible like being seen as hot and attractive because of our weight rather than in spite of it

[frickfatphobes]

passed by a billboard for compounded (unregulated) weight loss drugs and it had been completely vandalized. I love my city <3

[frickfatphobes]

I’ve been suuuuper excited for Spirit Swap, you should check it out on kickstarted and back it for these funky partners >:3

[frickfatphobes]

I don't want to contribute more to doomscrolling about the tumblr TOS thing, but another interesting side of the die of categorizing feedism as disordered eating is that if you know any more about eating disorders than what you can learn from an Alessia Cara song, the claim that feedist content should be suppressed because it depicts or encourages eating disorders instantly crumbles, and when you take a closer look at it, it's actually doing way more harm than good to the purported aim of helping people with EDs to seek treatment and to remove pro-ed content.

The DSM criteria outlines that in order to qualify as BED, "recurrent episodes of binge eating" must be associated with:

Eating more rapidly than usual

Eating until feeling uncomfortably full

Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry

Eating alone because of feeling embarrassed by how much one is eating

Feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty afterward

Marked distress about the binge-eating episodes

Positioning disordered binge eating as equivalent to (fat) people "excessively overeating" is factually incorrect, but more importantly perpetuates existing stigmatizing stereotypes about BED: that 'binge eaters' are fat people who eat too much because they have no self control around food, and just need to learn to control their eating.

One of the fundamental features (and mechanisms) of BED is that the individual's shame about eating leads to bingeing, which leads to shame about eating, and the cycle continues. Omitting the components of compulsion/loss of control and distress puts any act of eating a lot of food under suspicion of disordered eating, which plays directly into the stigmatizing stereotypes that perpetuate shame cycles of EDs, and prevents people from seeking treatment - not only as a direct result of shame but also because conflating disordered binge eating with 'overeating' trivializes disordered binge eating and spreads misinformation that prevents people from being able to accurately recognize real BED in themselves and others.

It also, as others have pointed out, implies that there is a quantifiable amount of food that is "too much" for any person. And with how subjective and vague "excessive" is, the new reporting rules leave it up to cultural 'common sense' of what is an allowable amount of food to eat, which is inextricable from societally sanctioned disordered eating behaviors and diet culture, and completely divorced from even a lot of mainstream health science.

Basically, the new 'self harm' parameters on Tumblr are saying that excessive overeating is an eating disorder, however we are leaving it up to Joe Tumblr, who we trust is a paragon of identifying what is a normal amount of food to eat, to decide, based solely on the amount of food they're eating, whether someone eating a lot on camera is self harming and has a clinical disorder.

And the funniest thing about the new reporting rules is that the preamble guidelines say:

Don't post content that actively promotes or glorifies self-harm. This includes content that urges or encourages others to: [...] embrace anorexia, bulimia, or other eating disorders [...] rather than, e.g., seeking counseling or treatment, or joining together in supportive conversation with those suffering or recovering from depression or other conditions.

I'm sorry, but can you point me to any clinical counseling or treatment program or protocol for feedism? It does not fall under any existing eating disorder diagnosis and there is no existing treatment for it, but we're supposed to be encouraging people who post feedism content to get into treatment? For what? Where? As someone who has been in both eating disorder treatment and has had sex therapy about my relationship with feedism, walking into an ED or sex therapist's office to get "treatment for feedism" is going to get you the same results as if you walked into counseling asking for treatment for being gay. They're going to help you understand and work through your shame about your sexuality and practice it in an emotionally healthy and sustainable way for you.

And in addition to the direct effects of deplatforming sex workers and fat people, which is already disproportionately affecting POC and queer & trans people, as many others have already brought up, this change is necessarily going to create a ton of irrelevant noise in the category of eating disorder post reports, taking time and resources away from suppressing actual eating disorder and pro-ed posts, blogs, and communities at a time when Tumblr staff are consistently reporting being stretched thin already (just scroll through the @/wip staff blog).

The premise behind this reporting tool is just so flimsy it's kind of embarrassing how obvious it's just moralizing about sexuality and food and fatness rather than any good faith concern for helping people with eating disorders.

[frickfatphobes]

Begging skinny people to be normal about fat people on hikes. I don't need you to tell me how much you admire me or to keep going (someone genuinely told they admire me today. Im literally just walking). I just want to hang out with my boyfriend and get some sun. I'm not doing this to lose weight you and even if it was I don't want strangers encouraging me. Leave me be.

[frickfatphobes]

it is time!! for trans men!! fat men!! intersex men!! to wear crop tops and tiny shorts!! it is time!!

[frickfatphobes]

Y’all really out here thinking being fat will kill you as if there aren’t fat 80 year olds with 10 grandkids doing aqua fitness at the Y right now

[frickfatphobes]

damn people rly hate type 2 diabetics don't they

[frickfatphobes]

Plus size clothes.