#i know i should hate him but really he's more complex than people give him credit for as much as he is sucky
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ghouldtime · 4 months ago
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COD Camp AU Part Two
Follow up to this post
Just assorted characters who I have ideas for in it. And before anyone comes at me like "oh but but Graves tried killing them" or "König is apart of KorTac and they're enemies with SpecGru" I'm aware. This is an AU for a reason :D That doesn't happen here, I'm pretending like they're all not trying to kill one another and haven't because I can
Kate Laswell (Camp Advisor)
She's one of the few who doesn't go by her callsign. Instead she goes by Larkspur, her wife's favorite flower. She figured it was a little less creepy sounding to kids over "Watcher"
Kate can usually be found near Price or simply checking around camp herself. She's usually the one responsible for safety inspections and reporting anything that needs to be fixed officially
While she's not fond of it, she usually is the one handling all the paperwork and "official" boring things. It's not the most exciting job but someone needs to do it
That being said, she can make quick work of it. She's handled more complicated things in her life than the headache that is dealing with legal documents
She'd rather be out and actually active than stuck behind a desk all day. Which is why she does try to get around to all parts of camp. She's jumping in where she can and is quick to lend a hand where ever she is needed
All the campers love her. What's not to love? Sure she's a little bit intimidating at first but she's simply so used to having to put on a stern face to convey how serious she is and to please listen to her (dealing with stubborn operators and military personnel alike will do that to you) that by now, it's a habit. But she's understanding, empathetic, and proactive - she's trying to fix problems and prevent things from going south before they can
Since she's often popping in on activities, lending a hand, helping where she can - many campers easily recognize her and are usually quite excited to see her. Especially when it comes to things like team events (Listen to her, she WILL give you pointers to beat the other team) or crafts. Kate has a variety of skills up her sleeves and she's got a knack for showing them off
Usually though, she's far more involved with the counselors than the campers. She's the one making sure that everyone is working as well as they can together and things are being done properly. If not, they're being reassigned. She's checking in to help maintain the natural flow - and making sure there's no extreme drama or any other things going on
Adjusting to camp life and living in closer quarters isn't something that many can easily adapt to and she knows it. Plus, sometimes campers can be a handful and a half and it can be exhausting mentally and physically. It's important for her to make sure the counselors are okay because EVERYONE needs someone looking out for them. They might be looking out for the kids but she's looking out for them and has their backs
Especially when it comes to interpersonal counselor relationships. That stuff is no joke. Resentment and drama can easily build and divides can form and the last thing she wants to have to deal with is that headache - plus, she does care about everyone's well being. Everyone can't be well if there's quarrels happening, especially behind the scenes.
If anything happens, she's the woman you can rely on and SHOULD. Go to her first. She'll always be the one to lend a listening ear and will do her best to solve it or at least put something towards it
Or just go to her if you want someone to easily hang out with and chat to. Especially if you'd like a moment of peace and quiet. The world can be loud and chaotic out there but her office is usually much less of a shit show. You'll get bonus points if you're bringing her extra cookies from the cafeteria (even more if you remember some for her wife)
She's the voice of reason, sensibility, and a whole lot of calm compared to all of the craziness going on. And she's super cool, how does anyone not like her. She's got SO many cool stories, she's great, I love Laswell <3
Bonus: Her wife is the camp photographer. She IS getting all those cute pictures and it IS going to be an album and it IS glorious
Nikolai (Camp Supplier)
Technically he's not apart of the staff that you'll find constantly at camp, but that doesn't make him any less important. In fact, he's the main reason WHY they can keep running and functioning as they do
He's Price's absolute go-to and is the one who is bringing things in. Whether that be dealing with the food shipments, the general equipment and maintenance things they need stocked, or really anything they need brought in - he's the guy
Usually he's in around very early mornings or very late at night, it's a rarity for him to turn up when it's normal waking hours, which is very much on purpose
Partially because unloading/loading is easier when not dealing with campers - partially because just sometimes Price has things that prooooobably wouldn't be Laswell approved and shouldn't exactly be around at camp. And partially because Price loves shooting the shit with his old buddy, having a smoke and a light drink before he has to bid Nikolai farewell as he gets back on the road
Also because if Nikolai is left to interact with any of the campers, he IS pulling the cool/fun uncle move and giving them things that he deems as child appropriate (like a knife) and teaching them how to use it
"It's good they learn now! When I was their age I could already name all the types of blades and knew how to work them too. Will come in handy one day, no?"
Not Laswell approved in the slightest. And as much as Price agrees, and as much as the campers think Nikolai is awesome (he is), Price really does NOT want to deal with being chewed out by Laswell.... again. Rightfully so but he's begrudgingly accepted that his and Nikolai's ideas of what kids these days should know aren't exactly the same as theirs
Nikolai is still very much one of the coolest guys to meet at the camp, though. While he's been politely told by Laswell to maybe back off from the campers and giving them "Fun ideas", she never said anything about the counselors
Unsurprisingly, Nikolai is incredibly popular with the counselors. You'll have to compete to get picked to help unload trucks and unpack on the days when he's coming in because EVERYONE wants to see him
He's got a great sense of humor that strays a bit more on the almost-dirty side and will instantly treat you like he's known you for your whole life. He's already got a hand clapped on your back and is asking about how school or... whatever it is you're doing is going
He'll happily give you advice and what you should do - or more correctly what he would do if he were in your shoes, but you know, that's just him. He'll likely end up talking about some story of his childhood which honestly is starting to seem like its own movie franchise with the amount of things that have happened
Overall, for the short time he's around, he's always a welcome face and you're probably going to be one of the people going "WOOO NIKOLAI!" whenever you see that semi truck. He's got a fanclub at this point
König (Maintenance)
A guy as big as him is perfect for maintenance. He already knew how to work with his hands from childhood where he grew up on a farm - his parents taught him. It's an important skill to be able to fix things, so he learned how to do it well
He can very easily pick up whatever needs to be moved or reach the tallest of places. Carrying planks of wood and fixing that one leaky pipe in the ceiling is easy as can be for him. He only really needs assistance if it's an area too small for him to fit
Which isn't very often. Usually it's things like "Billy tried doing a cartwheel but ended up face first in the wall. Anyways can you come fix it-"
It's easy enough for him. The campers usually have to vacate the area anyways when he's doing work due to potential hazards anyhow, so he works all on his own, as happy as can be
He's working on his own and is usually all alone 9/10 times. He's not very social and would rather keep to himself. Plus, kids have little filter. He'd rather take his space from them because usually if he's around them, the things THEY end up saying make him self conscious more. Even if he knows he shouldn't be, kids can be brutal
If you want to get in contact with him, usually walkie talkie is the best way. Cell service is as good as gone around most of the camp. Its that or try to look for him in areas where people wouldn't be
He's on top of things and keeps the camp in working order, luckily. Being as organized as he is and on-top of repairs means he can often be left with a fair bit of free time
Which he happily uses to go on hikes or to spend some time out in mother nature, enjoying the outdoors without pressure from anyone or anything
He's very much his normally quite socially awkward self which is why he'd prefer to stay away from others, but you can occasionally catch him mid-job. Please, don't bother him while he's working - unless he specifically volunteers you as tribute to help him (it happens when he needs someone to hold things)
Don't tell him what to do while he's doing it, though. He knows how to do his job and knows it well, which is ALSO why he doesn't like usually working with others. His own self-assurance can be misinterpreted as arrogance but he knows he's good at what he does, thank you very much
You're really not going to find him around others, except maybe the counselors and the older groups of campers who know how to actually treat others with respect. That's on rare occasions and usually it's only when he's practically made to be social
Still, you can absolutely get in his good graces and try to befriend him. Offer to help him out, get to talking to him about himself, and maybe politely steer any campers away who stare at him because he's a moose of a man - and maybe bribe him with snacks, you'll eventually get closer
He'll still not be the most chatty but you'll find he has a sense of humor (as dry and as terrible as it might be at times.. and maybe a bit snarky), and just maybe you'll find yourself hanging out with him at the art pavilion late at night, working on your own projects
He loves to carve, it keeps his hand and his mind occupied. And for being such a big guy, he's quite dexterous and has a lot of skill manipulating a knife. Maybe a worrying bit, but look! He's made you a carving of your favorite animal, maybe don't focus on the knife but rather the work that he's done (and is proud of)
Keep that as a token and you'll surely have good luck for the rest of the year. Maybe even better with him if you make him one in return
Bonus: He's unofficially banned from campfire stories. Not that he particularly wants to be there to tell him, he just might if some kids seem distressed or are begging. It's just like how his mom did for him when he was little, so surely he can do it! Except they're uh... they're the German kind. The ones that usually end with someone dying, tortured, suffering - the ones supposed to teach lessons and morals. He loved them so surely they must too - wait why are the kids crying? Oh god, he made it worse. (Banned for a reason, he's just confused and a bit baffled, he thought it was a happy one :( why are they sad?)
Phillip Graves (Equestrian Director/Barn Manager)
Sorry not sorry, I'm never UNseeing him as anything less than the utter cowboy energy he puts out. Granted, he's not from the rural countryside or a poor family. He's from an affluent family who happened to have a home in the countryside, there's a difference
He just goes by Graves because being called "Shadow" ended up with too many "oh, like the hedgehog?" 's for his liking
You're on one of three teams when it comes to him. You either love him, hate him, or love to hate him. There's absolutely no in between. He's an incredibly polarizing person with how strong his personality is
Most of the counselors simply do not like him because he's absolutely a snake in the grass and will do what he can for his benefit. It's himself and his interests first, others second. Usually that just means any and everything to do with the barn, he sees it as his priority
He's really only kept around because of how damn popular he is with the campers and parents alike - and the fact he really has money and brings a fair bit in for the camp. A lot of other staff don't like him, but you can't deny his charm or that he's actually good at what he does. He butts heads with many because he's.... himself, but he's easy enough to avoid on a general basis
Phillip is many things but lazy? Hell no. He's opportunistic. If there's an easier way to do something, he'll do it. But he'll still be working his ass off for it. He's someone where if he sees something he wants, he's going to take it. He keeps things running and his ambition keeps them two steps ahead
He's got wit, he's got charm, he's got a smile that can disarm - seriously, the man can lay it on thick like molasses and it works. He's ended up with so many campers having the innocent crush on him BECAUSE of how suave he is. Doesn't matter if you hate him, can't deny the initial strong vibe he has - even if he is a bit of a douchebag later down the line, especially if you're against him
He really doesn't care for all too many of the counselors outside of those who work directly with him. If you're working under him as apart of the barn staff, congratulations, you're apart of his crew - he's looking out for you (at least on a surface level), and he'll happily sink his teeth into anyone who comes after you with a smile on his face
His group can certainly be a bit cliquey, as in you're not sitting with them or eating with them UNLESS you're apart of the crew. But to be fair, they're usually eating breakfast significantly earlier than everyone else and eating dinner later due to the horses - and that's also a biiiit of an excuse for it
He runs a tight ship and keeps everything moving. There's no room for error or for skipping past the times on carefully laid out schedule when you have as many animals there as he does. He's got a game plan and has everything down to a T, it's fast paced, but it's how everything keeps functioning like a well oiled machine
Graves isn't lazy, no, he puts in his work. He leads best by example and knows no one will respect him if he can't show that he's WORTH that. Plus, it helps build comradery if he keeps himself involved. Not to mention, he's a firm believer in "if you want something done right, do it yourself"
Usually there's other instructors and counselors who help teach campers and manage that, he's usually doing more so day to day important barn duties and working with the advanced equestrians. He knows his stuff, but he's very "my way or the highway". He's not a lenient instructor but he'll get results. And if you know what you're doing, great, he won't be over your shoulder at every given second and will even compliment you if you do well
He's a douchebag, he's full of himself, and he's got quite the attitude and arrogance but that's not all he is. Just work hard and be in his good graces, or avoid him at all costs, and you'll live. The Phillip hating team is quite strong so you have allies if you do the latter option
At least he's usually rather nice to his own counselors and is looking out for them. You can absolutely get closer to him if you work under him and work hard. He notices talent when he sees it, as well as hard work. He's not above appreciating it or at least rewarding his team and making them feel valued enough to keep supporting him instead of flaking to others
You can hate him all you want but you cannot deny how much he loves his horse. She's a dapple gray quarter horse named Carolina and she's probably his biggest weakness. She gets the fanciest and best of EVERYTHING, he keeps her pristine and proper. He's got a whole stash of purple shampoos and hoof and hair oils alike for her. Even their tack is blinged out, her halter has actual gems set in them. Yes, it's overkill, but so is all he does
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rie-092 · 1 month ago
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OURS.
[ yandere! stanley snyder and xeno houston wingfield ]
summary: your good ol' yandere but this time it's a jack of all trades and a mad scientist.
note: ahhhhh! i just finished reading dr. stone and i'm dying to make a yandere headcannon out of this duo! and this is the prompt! i want to add senku here but i decided to make a separate headcannon for him! then i'll do wind breaker next and the manhwas that i read during my christmas vacation and while i'm drowning with my school works then your requests! yeyyyy! (I'm just escaping from the reality, pls don't mind me.)
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Have you ever wondered what it's like to have a super genius and talented best friends? Like having best friends who excel with everything they do and give you an inferiority complex. Well, you should ask (reader) because that is her everyday life with Xeno and Stanley.
No offense; you really adore both Xeno and Stanley. But sometimes, you couldn't help but be jealous of their talents, brains, and skills. You spend countless nights studying and training to be able to catch up to them. But you always end up falling behind.
While Xeno always ends up getting a perfect mark on every test. You, on the other hand, were in the middle rank at your school. While you tried to follow every training that Stanley was doing, you always ended up with a broken bone, scratches, and bruises.
But you don't have to worry! Xeno and Stanley was always here for you! Do you remember the serial kidnapping case that happened in your school before? And how all of the victims was those people who talk shit about you? Well, you thought it was just a coincidence. But you see, Xeno needs some test subjects for his experiments. And man, Xeno hates hurting animals at all. So why not use humans? Pretty fun, if you ask him. While Stanley who happened to be free during those times did all the physical works in exchange of hearing the desperate pleas and seeing the blood of those people.
Oh, you also don't have to worry! Since those two knew how to hide their traces. Xeno just needs to mix some dangerous drugs and then boom! They can watch how the body dissolves along with the other evidence. A pretty fun sight, to be honest.
Meanwhile, Yandere! Xeno is the total opposite of Stanley. This guy doesn't even hide his tendencies that well. Don't blame him; you're too loveable! He really likes how you always try to catch up to him and Stanley all the time. (It's just a secret, but he really likes it when you cry—it's one of his secret pleasure.)
Anyway! They are both possessive and obsessive. Stanley is overprotective and overbearing, while Xeno is manipulative. Wow, yes! You are stuck in the middle of this mess. But you don't have to worry! Just like the center of the storm, both Xeno and Stanley are always calm and collected when they are around you—but please don't ask why they are practically clinging to you when you are around, please. You are the only thing that keeps them sane.
Oh, are you wondering why Stanley seemed to always know where you were? Ask Xeno. Because that little sly fox planted some tracker on your stuff that he gave to you as a gift. There are some who contain the chips who can measure your heartbeat, temperature, and voice recording so he can be aware of who you are talking to.
Are they a jealous type of yandere? No. Because you see, they are both aware of how dense you were. So aside from them, you unconsciously shut down every advance of your friends, acquaintances, and colleagues. Which is a good thing, according to Xeno.
A few months before graduating in highschool. You made up your mind on becoming a doctor, thanks to Xeno's advice. And the two of them were more than happy to help you.
They both like how you gain the world's attention with your skills and wit. You easily became one of the best doctors in the world. And man, they are so proud. But when you suddenly said that you wanted to go to Japan and become a school doctor—they lost their minds.
Are you going to abandon them? No way in hell. Over their dead gorgeous body, okay?!? Have they done something wrong? No, as far as they remember, they only shower you with love and affection—okay, they are a little overbearing, but—!!!
When you assure them that you will only stay there for five years and will finally move in with them. They finally calmed down. Okay, deal. They will shut up for now. But they swear that they will surely visit you every month!
Spoiler alert, you've got yourself a pretty cute lettucehead student who somewhat recognizes your abilities and follows you around. Okay, sure, he sees you as an older sister—nothing more and nothing less. Sure, he spends his time in the clinic whenever he's not in the lab room, but it doesn't mean anything at all. Sure, he somewhat ends up tearing up the love letters that students leave on your desk and taking the chocolates that they give to you. But it doesn't mean anything at all, okay?
Anyway! When the petrification happened and you were stuck in Japan without your lovely “best friends,“. Let's just say that they became worse after they were de-petrified. You were not there. They don't know what happened to you. What if your body got destroyed into pieces? What if they will not be able to revive you even if they try? What if—
Let's just say this time they won't be as lenient as before. They will make sure that you stay with them this time. Even if it means they have to tie you down with them or lock you up.
“saving the world? no, love. you always comes first. while everything else is secondary.”
“you know that i don't want to hurt you, baby."
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thedaythatwas · 4 days ago
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on nagito komaeda and love
I just think it’s sort of funny that for a character whose (arguably) most well-recognized CG is this: 
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komaeda’s narrative so heavily centers love. and I don’t just say this because I’ve had komahina brainrot for years (though this is true!!). even if you don’t care about komahina, it’s tough to deny komaeda is a walking tragedy in large part because of the role that love plays in his life. his characterization is driven by the way his luck has denied him love, and how he seeks it out regardless. in that sense, I think that without understanding komahina as at least one-sided, you miss out on one of the juiciest, most miserable pieces of komaeda’s character development.
tldr; a love-centered reading of komaeda makes sense, recognizing komahina as “a thing” in DR2 (whether you ship it or not) is pretty important to understanding how komaeda operates, and I’ll try to prove it right here under this page break!!
Part 1: Komaeda’s Love Life (or, his life without love)
I think it’s safe to assume that if you clicked here, you know about komaeda’s absurdly miserable, tumultuous childhood, but I’ll do a quick recap just in case! meteor kills his parents on a plane, he inherits a ton of money. he’s kidnapped by a serial killer, he finds a winning lottery ticket in the garbage bag he’s thrown out in. he’s diagnosed with terminal cancer and dementia, he gets into hope’s peak.
in his free time events, komaeda *explicitly* frames his luck cycle as something that takes away the people he loves. it only “takes action” against him after his relatives have died (for the sake of this essay, let’s assume that komaeda loved his parents, or would have at least been hurt by their passing). by way of other close connections… well, his wording here implies that by the time of his diagnosis, he didn’t really have anybody in his life. 
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either komaeda didn’t allow himself to get close to anyone after the meteor incident, or he did, and they were taken away by his luck. at some point during his childhood, komaeda learned he should view himself as a death sentence.
so, how does this loss of love shape the komaeda we know? I’ll talk about this in terms of four of his defining (and connected!) traits in DR2 canon – the ones that really make his actions make sense: his self-loathing, his hope-seeking, his learned helplessness, and his certainty that his existence poses a threat to those around him. komaeda’s experience with loss makes him view himself as a source of death, which in turn fuels these tenets of his character. ultimately, his loss and the complexes that arise from it give him good incentive to push people away.
his self-loathing
komaeda hates himself. he views himself as worthless outside of his potential to serve as a “stepping stone” for the hope of the ultimates. he claims that this is driven by his beliefs around talent, which are in turn linked to the way his worldview rests on viewing hope as “absolute good.” the talentless (himself included) are only good for advancing the hope of the talented. still, his self-loathing is a bit more personal than that. take what he says and dig just below the surface, and it’s a clean cut trauma response all the way down. which leads us directly to…
his hope-seeking
komaeda is willing to do literally anything to serve hope. on the island, this (in short) means dying. this is where I prod at komaeda’s reasoning a bit more: komaeda’s willingness to act the way he does in canon also stems from his belief that his dying would be a net good for the world. his existence kills the people around him. his illness will kill him anyway. he has less than no value, and hope is invaluable. to go out for the sake of hope would give his wretched life purpose; it’s his dream come true.
and it’s no mystery why komaeda cares so much about hope: again, it’s a coping mechanism! komaeda’s belief that all bad luck is a necessary precursor for good luck and that hope will always triumph over despair is (as he himself says!) the only reason he’s managed to stay alive. I’ll say it again because I really can’t emphasize it enough – komaeda thinks that just by existing, he kills the people he loves. ouch!
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learned helplessness / his existence as a threat
komaeda has, essentially, learned to submit to his luck cycle. all bad luck is good luck in the end – isn’t that amazing?! almost paradoxically, he’s hyper-vigilant about the negative impact his luck has on those around him. this is a tricky one. I make sense of it this way: komaeda’s perception of how much his luck impacts the people close to him isn’t inflated, like, at all. the supernatural way the world bends around komaeda to screw him over really does pose a danger to himself and others, and he takes measures to minimize that danger. his stated acceptance of his luck cycle is… well, again, he’s coping. 
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if komaeda really thought that all bad luck is ultimately good luck, he wouldn’t try to protect his classmates from his bad luck. but, as we see in island mode, he does!
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but really, who could blame komaeda for lying to himself? I’ll restate the facts. komaeda thinks that luck is absolute power. he says that he’s powerless against it. his luck has taken his family, and it’s left him with nothing but money that he doesn’t want. he’s certain he’s a curse, and there’s no end to that in sight: so long as komaeda exists, he’ll keep on losing – murdering – everything he loves. 
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in the face of all of that despair, what can you do but abandon your self-esteem and pray for something good to come out of all of it? how else could somebody possibly survive carrying that burden, truly believing that load will never be lightened?
tldr; komaeda thinks his existence is a threat, and a big chunk of his personality is a frankensteined way of surviving the pain that comes with that. still, we should question how much of his worldview komaeda has really internalized without inner conflict. 
Part 2: Enter Hajime Hinata
we get some answers on that front when we see that despite the clear and obvious danger it poses, nagito komaeda still finds himself falling hard for hajime hinata. that’s really, really loud.
I’ll preface this part by saying that you don’t need to actively ship komahina to understand what I’m trying to get at here. this said, I’ll be recapping an argument you’ve almost definitely seen before: komahina is definitely “a thing” – at the very least as a one-sided thing. to this, I’ll add the (perhaps bold?) claim that without recognizing that much as true, you’re missing out on a big part of what makes komaeda so interesting.
komaeda’s FTEs make it abundantly clear that komaeda has feelings for hinata. apart from his famed failed love confession, the fact that komaeda is willing to allow hinata to get close enough to learn about his views on hope and luck is telling. 
(the smoking gun here hinges on trusting that komaeda was telling the truth during the time you spent with him; in so many words, that he only lied about lying. so, for the sake of argument, let’s assume this is true! there’s good proof for it, anyway.)
if you read his final FTE as komaeda flashing his soul to hinata and making a decision at the very last second to retreat, turning to old coping mechanisms to protect hinata from his luck, it’s sort of a komahina bombshell. that capitulation spells out for us that komaeda understands sharing his life experiences with hinata to be one of the most intimate things he could possibly do.
he recognizes the exact moment he lets hinata get too close – when his life story is finally told – and he does what he’s learned he needs to do to get them both out of that situation safely: he tries to make hinata hate him, and tells himself (and hinata!) that he did it for the sake of hope.
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(and yet, komaeda let hinata approach him every FTE, knowing damn well that they were both playing with fire… very interesting.)
now, let’s say you don’t consider the FTEs to be integral to canon. I mean, you can really easily miss out on all of komaeda’s content if you choose not to hang out with him in chapter 1! so, for the skeptic, in the unskippable main story, komaeda tells hinata this:
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komaeda cares about hinata despite everything. and I really, truly mean despite everything. at this point in the story, the fact that he still cares about hinata calls into question basically every single one of his core beliefs. he’s read his final dead room prize – not only does hinata not have a talent, we can presume that komaeda also knows hinata became ultimate despair along with the rest of them. 
hinata has continually sought out komaeda’s company, even though komaeda knows himself to be worthless at best, lethal at worst. komaeda was willing to let him get closer, even though he knows how dangerous that is for hinata. he can’t help but let hinata try to know him. 
isn’t he awful? to want what he knows he can’t have, even though that wanting has never done anything but cause pain? he’s really the lowest of the low, to love someone who destroyed the world, who makes him question the views that will allow him to do the only good thing he’s ever been able to do for it: to die for hope. 
and yet, it’s a nod to how incredibly capable of love komaeda is that he’s still willing to reach out for it, no matter how many times it’s burned him in the past, and how much it hurts him in the present to want it. he understands more than anyone that his feelings can only result in disaster. reading komaeda as someone who can’t help but go on loving anyway makes his story hurt so much worse. 
but, you miss a whole lot of that without an eye for komahina. seeing hinata as the eye of komaeda’s emotional hurricane (and keeping tabs on their connection accordingly) allows us to glimpse past the cracks in komaeda’s front. we see that komaeda’s worldview is less stable than he presents it as – hinata is where komaeda’s coping mechanisms, for better or worse, run up against a wall. that tends to be uncomfortable for a guy who’s just barely coping in the first place. then again, growth is supposed to be uncomfortable, isn’t it?
Part 3: The Future He Chooses
so, all of this considered, I think one of the most interesting ways you can flesh komaeda out post-canon is by asking how he’d find himself willing to accept love. whether that love is from hinata or the ultimates, whether it’s platonic or romantic, love is the thing that komaeda wants AND fears in equal measure more than anything. it’s the source of his self-loathing and his obsession with hope. it’s the reason he’s lived the way that he has for so long – lonely, and afraid of being anything but.
getting into a relationship wouldn’t solve komaeda’s problems for him, and that’s a good thing. it would force him to confront old ones, and probably create dozens of new issues for him, too. writing him through that makes for great character study!
hinata (or anyone else, for that matter) can’t love komaeda into loving himself, but he can give him a shoulder to cry on while he works through 22 years of fear and sorts through the wreckage of a worldview that’s long since stopped serving him. I don’t think his progress would be linear. but, I think that he could do it. komaeda learning to accept care is what his healing looks like. 
(well. and physically recovering from cancer and dementia. but that’s neither here nor there!)
a post-canon komaeda learning to love narrative is also in line with the themes of DR2. hinata leads the survivors out of the neo world program because he makes the decision to choose his own future, creating a new version of “hope” for himself and his classmates. likewise, komaeda can make the decision to save himself. that is, if he trusts himself enough to actually touch and hold the thing that he’s never been able to stop reaching out for, anyway.
after all, hinata is lucky too. (and if it turns out he isn’t… y'all like angst fics, right?)
(shoutout to @cynopter for looking this over and confirming that I'm not spouting nonsense <33 thank you for reading my thesis of the week <33)
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chiocchi · 1 year ago
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If you don't mind answering, why do you ship Tom Riddle and Harry Potter? Besides the whole issue that they are enemies, and the age difference, both characters are heterosexual. It's canonical fact. If it's the dynamic you like... Have you thought about Tomione's ship? They have a lot of potential together. And in the right direction, they would be a couple that could make it in the books.
JDKLJKLFJSDLKFJA This kinda feels like people knocking on your door and trying to get you to believe in their religion. It's pretty funny.
I don't know why are you calling issues to a part of the pairing's appeal lkajdsjfs (And Hermione is Harry's age and they are on the same side too?). And not sure about that canonical fact. Harry can be read as bisexual quite easily and Voldemort|Tom... idk he seems more obsessed with power, immortality, and Harry. But even if that's the case, I don't see why it should matter. We're in fandom after all.
I don't know if I'll be able to convey why I like this ship so much. For starters, I'm really into the unique connection they share. There was a piece of Voldemort's soul inside Harry's; they had a mental link; a whole language they're the only ones to speak (for the most part); Voldemort chose him and marked him; and there's even a prophecy that linked them together. There aren't two people more connected than them. They're soulmates, and the fact that Voldemort didn't intend it and Harry hates it adds another layer of complexity.
But not only that, they're like a broken reflection of each other, which I find fascinating. In his second year, Harry was worried about the similarities between them. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles, they both considered Hogwarts their first real home. I feel like they would have really understood each other in other circumstances. They would have been friends. Because one of their key differences is that Harry found friends and adults that loved him while Tom was probably bullied and, y'know, the whole Dumbledore thing.
Not to mention that Harry would die for everyone whereas Tom would kill everyone. They're insane in their own way. I love their similarities and differences, but more than anything else, I love when they're together. The fanfics and fanarts are awesome.
And the whole thing of being enemies feels quite gay sometimes klafjdlskfja. Harry can't help but think Tom is handsome and, despite everything Voldemort did, Harry wanted to give him one last chance to show remorse. I have no doubt Harry is crazy enough to actually forgive him.
I've thought about Tomione and I've come to the conclusion that I don't like it. pinktom has a really good post about it and I agree with it. Besides, Hermione liked Ron and had something with Krum, and they're nothing like Tom. Just because she's heterosexual doesn't mean she's attracted to any man, y'know? klajdlfkdjs I don't think they would have been a couple in the books, no matter the direction. If it's the dynamic you like, have you thought about Tomarry? More believable, more intense, and a wider range of wholesomeness to fucked up in the fics. It's really interesting. Unless you don't like men being together? Hmm? Suspicious (just kidding. To each their own. So no need to go to other people's asks to try to change their minds :kek:).
Also Harry is my favorite character and he's not replaceable. I kinda don't care about any other character tbh. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
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foone · 25 days ago
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I need to watch more Star Trek: The Original Series. Despite, you know, everything about me, I've only actually seen like a third of it. I never was a big fan as a kid and I never went back to watch it.
The slightly embarrassing reason why I need to watch it is that I've been developing this headcanon about Bones where he's got a complex and somewhat destructive relationship with death and I honestly don't know if it's backed up by canon and I don't want to keep talking about it (in the same ways, at least) if it's not really canon-compatible.
So I wanna re-watch/watch TOS just so I can see if my Bones characterization makes any sense or if it's solidly an alternate take on the character, like "what if bones was a depressed perfectionist with substance abuse issues?"
Like, I know he's often the smilies and jokiest of the crew, but that always read as, like... "clown happiness", for lack of a better term. It's smiling and joking as an act, because you don't want to look and sound as miserable as you are.
I think McCoy is a man who wants to save everyone and despite the wonders of his future technology, he knows he can't win. No matter how many miracles he pulls off, it's just a matter of time before they come back from a mission with something he can't fix, and they die on his medibed or in his arms on a mission. This is, of course, not helped by his two closest friends being Kirk and Spock, who are always willing to die to save each other, the crew, the mission, strangers, alien rocks with laser eyes, the concept of hatred itself, whatever.
He's "happy" and "jokey" but in a M*A*S*H sense: you're saving lives but sometimes it hits a little too hard that you're saving soldiers who are just going to go back out there and get shot or blown up or whatever damn foolish way. And he drinks a lot more than he should to not have to face those facts sober. And to forget, even if only for a moment, all the faces of those he failed to save.
Spocks got an eidetic memory from his green-blooded heritage, but Bones doesn't need one to be sure he remembers that young ensign who was grabbed by a plasma macrobe and had all his red blood cells turned to dust. There's one of those every day, it seems. Different reasons, different situations, different faces dying in front of him and he never stops feeling like a failure when it happens. But he goes on, because if he gives up that'll just mean more deaths and pain and sickness.
He knows he's gonna lose this war in the end. But that's no reason to stop fighting. He drags himself to the sickbay every morning, happy and chipper, because if he doesn't do this he can't live with himself, and you've he's got to put on a good show for the patients, nurses, officers. They're counting on him, and they need his wholesome bedside manner.
But you can see it when he gets angry. How pissed he gets when people die for no reason, are sick for no reason, are denied treatment for no reason, and how much he hates all this space malarkey. His anger sounds like a man who has been hurting for a very long time and is finally letting some of it out.
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vanteguccir · 9 months ago
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Hey guys! I actually spent long minutes staring at these reblogs and debating whether it was worth responding and talking about or not. But as I'm not the type to take hate and keep quiet, I decided to talk about it.
First of all, Reia, you really seem like a person who doesn't read many fanfics for the way you put it in your text, so I'll explain the meaning of the word. Fanfic, short for "fan fiction", is a story written by a fan based on characters, universes, or real people (like the triplets). Fans create their own narratives, expanding or reimagining everything, creating their own version, which in real life does not exist OR, as writers, we often draw inspiration from real-life events too.
And yes, you and Evangeline are trying to be "fanfic police" and even "sturniolo police", if you scroll through the thousands of Sturniolo Triplets fanfics, you will come across A LOT where Matt, Nick or Chris go through situations of anxiety attack, panic attack, OR where the "reader" herself goes through this, sometimes even involving situations way worse than that. Furthermore, there's thousands of fanfics describing explicit sex scenes with them, the famous smuts, does that bother you too? Because in the world of someone who writes a FANFIC in here, it doesn't.
And yes, I was indeed writing about the meet and greet situation, and this was nothing new to ANYONE in the fandom WHO READS THE FANFICS HERE. I even made a post the day before ASKING who would like to read the idea, and you want to know the news? All 200 people who voted wanted it.
I understand that you feel this story is disrespectful FOR YOU, especially because it touches on a real-life situation that may be sensitive or painful for some people. I want to assure you that it was never my intention to cause harm or disrespect anyone involved in that situation.
I myself am diagnosed with chronic anxiety, and even so, I didn't feel affected by the way I wrote. In fact, I described how I feel during MY anxiety attacks.
In no way did I make fun of the situation Matt went through, in fact, my intention in writing this story was to explore Matt's complexity and show how he deals with real problems, such as anxiety. It was a way to give more depth to his situation during the tour and highlight the importance of the emotional support he receives from "Y/N". It was not my intention to mock him, but rather to explore his humanity and the challenges he faced, and I know with all the certainty in the world that I did not mock him, much less affect the people who read the story.
Please, I ask you to reevaluate the need to throw hate at a person who has nothing to do with your outside the box opinions of what WRITERS ON THE STURNIOLO'S TUMBLR should or shouldn't write about.
There are thousands of posts on Instagram and TikTok from "fans" really mocking Matt and throwing hate at him about "their bad experiences" during one of the shows, these are the people you should be giving a piece of your mind to, not me. 🩷
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bennie-jerry · 3 months ago
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My Beef with Wanda Maximoff - An MCU Rant
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Sorry not sorry, I will ride the Wanda-ain't-shiitake train till the wheels are worn out. I do not care what her fangirls say. And if you're legitimately going to be so overly offended just from me disliking a FICTIONAL character, I highly suggest you click off, make some tea, and watch a Ghibli movie.
How many times does it need to be said? Just because someone suffers from some form of (small or big) trauma, IT DOESN’T GIVE THEM A PASS TO DO EVIL SH—
I really REALLY sincerely hope there's lore or bits I'm missing here (and if so, PLEASE tell me because I WANT to be wrong so BAD). But from what I know and remember, I feel as though I have every right to be disgusted with who Wanda is as a person.
It frustrates me so much how this carmine-colored narcissist will whine about people being scared of her, but she does stuff only a scary person WOULD do.
Purposefully setting the Hulk off so you could use him as a wrecking ball on innocent civilians in Johannesburg during Age of Ultron? Seems scary as heck.
Literally warping the universe itself to hunt and kill a teenager who did nothing to you during Multiverse of Madness? Seems scary as heck.
Brainwashing an ENTIRE town JUST so you can live in delusion about your man not being dead during Wandavision? Seems DOUBLE scary as heck.
Don't even try to defend what she did in Age of Ultron. Even if she supposedly didn't INTEND to have civilians killed, she sure as HECK didn't seem all too sorry that it happened. She wasn't ‘regretful’ that she did it. She was only ‘regretful' when Bruce confronted her on it. She has the nerve (the utter AUDACITY) to hate Tony Stark for the same CRAP that she does (if not worse, which let's be honest—it’s worse).
At least Tony Stark DIED out of an effort to save everyone, whereas Wanda usually tends to only help others when it benefits HER.
Wanda is nothing more than a Multiversal brat with a god-complex and no one can tell me otherwise. If something does not go 100% her way, she completely acts out and throws a reality-warping tantrum.
“Oh, but she tried to fix everything in Wandavision!”
Yeah, only after finding out she was BRAINWASHING people!
How the FREAK do you reality warp an ENTIRE town (especially at the large radius she used her magic) and expect NO one to be under mind control? Would you NOT try to fly around the premises to see if ANYONE else was there?
Once again, even if this was an example where she didn't INTEND for it to happen, then that proves another great flaw that she has.
Wanda hardly (if ever) thinks through her actions. And then when her actions bite her in the butt, she has the nerve to be surprised. Wanda almost never (and I'm being generous here) considers how her actions harm or affect others until it turns around and affects HER.
She did not deserve Vision, he was too good of a man for her, sorry not sorry.
Just the stuff she did BEFORE Multiverse of Madness ALONE is enough to not like her.
Let's not even get into the fact she never ACTUALLY apologized to Bruce Banner for everything she put him through. All she said at most when he confronted her is, “I know you're angry…”
Oh wow, REALLY? I couldn't POSSIBLY understand why Banner would EVER be angry at you for essentially brain-raping him (going into his mind and memories without his CONSENT) and using his worst fears against him to trigger Hulk so you could use him like a personal killing machine, further lessening the very few support systems he already HAD. She should feel grateful Banner didn't immediately throw her through a wall upon seeing her.
“But she became an avenger and helped them in Endgame!”
I could not give less of a DOOKIE about the fact she did that. Wanda fighting Thanos was literally the ONLY option she possibly had if she didn't wanna turn into dust along with the other half of the population. Sure, she also did it because she was forced to kill her boo BECAUSE of Thanos, but let's be honest—she would've had to fight him regardless. Her handing Thanos’ butt to him (while a very cool scene) doesn't prove JACK about her character.
The fact she ever BECAME an avenger after effectively traumatizing the MAJORITY of them is mind-boggling to me.
“Oh, I'm sorry I weaponized all of your traumas against you for my own personal gain because I wanted to work with a genocidal robot, can I join you guys?”
“Sure, Wanda! Come into the team and we'll pretend like you didn't do a darn thing!”
(The fact this isn't even ALL that she's done is absurd, I can still keep going—)
Don't even get me STARTED on Multiverse of Madness. And before anyone tries to say, “She did it so she could have a reality with her children!”
BRO, HER KIDS WEREN'T EVEN FREAKING REAL—
Wanda Freaking Maximoff wanted to murder a TEENAGER all for some children that were not even ACTUAL people. And when she did have them, didn't she make them FIGHT against the military in Wandavision or am I mistaken (which I VERY MUCH hope I am because what the he---)?
I do not care whatsoever what her reason is or what trauma she went through. Attempted murder of a minor (ESPECIALLY in this case, a minor who didn't even do anything) is inexcusable to me.
There is no way in frog fingers you guys are ACTUALLY trying to justify and/or downplay a grown ADULT trying to murder a CHILD (because that's what America was—a CHILD).
(Her and Miguel O'Hara would get along GREAT, when's the collab--)
And by then, she had ALREADY brutally murdered a whole bunch of people and probably corrupted the multiverse even FURTHER than she already had.
It wasn't until an ALTERNATE version of her (who ACTUALLY had her kids) told her to sit the [BLEEP] down (I'm paraphrasing here, but you get my drift).
Wanda is NOT a victim. Is she a good villain? Yes. But this witch isn't a victim. Not anymore at least. She doesn't apologize for her actions. She doesn't take responsibility. She doesn't reflect on what she does.
And even when she DOES finally do ANY of those things in ANY capacity, the damage is already done. In fact, it's not JUST done, it's also BURNT inside the oven causing smoke to go everywhere.
There is no rhyme or reason you could pull out that will convince me to be anything short of angry with this character and I'm so tired of her fans trying to defend her just because she was a lab rat and lost her man.
Once again, it's not bad to like a character that does awful stuff. But please, for sanity sake, STOP acting like they're a lost little angel BECAUSE you like them. I know they say "hurt people hurt people" but that still doesn't justify doing bad stuff just because bad things happened to YOU.
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mixtpecas · 6 months ago
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It's 2 am and I'm just thinking about how Cas and Eileen became such complimentary partners for Dean and Sam even when the show (slash Chuck) didn't let them have a happy ending.
Like, Sam wanted independence from his family and hunting. Not because he hated hunting necessarily, but because it represented everything his dad seemed to value over him and his opinions. And throughout the show he does make his own choices, but more often than not they end up with him getting possessed or some other kind of loss of autonomy. And with everyone he dates there seems to be that fear of losing control - not that he's controlling per say, but that he can't really let his guard down. Jess, Amy, Amelia, might know About him, but he doesn't seem to show much real vulnerability or deeper trust in them.
And Eileen gets that - she was written to mirror Sam, but it's not like she's his clone. While Sam seems more run down by everything that's happened to him by the time he meets her, Eileen still has that fire that leads her to do good on her own terms. And because she understands both the hunting and independence aspects of Sam's life, her and Sam can see each other as equals, instead of falling into that civilian/hunter or protector/protectee approach that relationships in the show usually lean towards. It's a real breath of fresh air for me, and feels a lot like how I'd imagine an ideal relationship for Sam - someone that isn't afraid to challenge him, but also encourages him to speak up for himself and value his own feelings.
Then with Dean, there's a lot of similarities to Sam (obviously, with their shared upbringing lol) but he can also be his counterpart. Sam wants trust placed in him and independence, Dean wants commitment and for someone to not leave him. But like Sam's relationships, Dean definitely falls right into the Protector role and what he thinks he should be doing, not what he actually needs or wants (like with Cassie and Lisa). And for him, I feel like it's less about not trusting them (Dean actually confides in people fairly often!) but more about his understandings about relationships and his own self. Dean has been treated (intentionally and unintentionally) as a blunt instrument, someone unchangeable, someone to look to for comfort, etc. even before Mary died ("It's okay Mom, I'll never leave you" comes to mind).
Cas reflects this in the extreme - any of his own feelings were lobotimized out of him and it was seen as impossible for angels to feel at all without falling. For him, he could see Dean as a smaller-scale mirror to what he was feeling. And Dean could see Cas as a more abstract, less intimidating way to see his own life. Like Eileen and Sam, Dean and Cas understand each other as soon as they meet each other. Cas tells Dean he has doubts! Dean prays to Cas after a lifetime of not believing in angels! Their similarities let them connect but their differences let them grow - Dean is so stubborn and full of feeling that Cas finally has the final push to rebel. Cas is the most powerful thing Dean's ever met when he saves him from Hell, so Dean feels safe to rely on him and trust someone to answer him if he asks (or prays). And again, their similarities are at the ground of it all, so they stay as partners and equals.
For Chuck (and the writers) this kind of healthier partnership dynamic goes against the kind of romance they love, that focuses on avoidance and saviour complexes. If Dean and Sam feel secure in their senses of self outside of one another, and are encouraged to keep that up, what happens to the Cycles of Family Trauma Show?? Plus, there's the added elements of Cas being a man and Eileen being deaf (resulting in Despair and the Blurry Wife). Sam and Dean both needed Eileen and Cas at certain points in their stories, whether that was to rescue them, motivate them, give them something to lose, etc. But even though plot development was the main intention for these relationships, they signalled something outside of the routine Cain and Abel story. Instead of just representing that kind of unattainable happy future, Eileen and Cas developed genuine relationships with the brothers that encouraged them to be more genuine people, and eventually led them to defeat God.
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luminnara · 11 months ago
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Feyd Rautha headcanons plsss
Like what was his upbringing and training like? How did he become what he is?
Okay I think about this A LOT and I just wanna say that I know people argue a ton about the original Dune book(s) vs the older adaptations vs the new DV movies, and these are just my thoughts! Frank Herbert was a great writer and he gave us complex characters with tons of subtext, but the original Dune was also published in the 60s and the other best known older adaptation is from the 80s, and both have some definitely outdated and not great stuff was used to show how bad a character was (like the Baron having an affinity for uh young boys who look like Paul 😬). I think that DV made some really smart changes to these characters that are more in line with contemporary thinking, while also remaining true to what Frank Herbert was trying to tell us about them—like the Baron is a Bad Man and Feyd is angry and impatient and definitely wants to kill him. ANYWAYS leggo, this is long and my thoughts jump around a lot but I hope you enjoy!
WARNING for some talk of SA! Also mentions of violence and murder and cannibalism, the usual stuff
The more serious ideas that are backed up by text and movie evidence:
Feyd-Rautha was taken from Lankiveil, a Harkonnen planet ruled by his birth father Abulurd (Vladimir’s younger half brother) by his uncle, Baron Vladimir. Feyd definitely knows this, and knows that Glossu Rabban is his older brother…so imagine all of the conflicting thoughts he must have surrounding his own position and future. On the one hand, he was taken and raised by his uncle so that he could inherit the title of Baron. On the other hand, he was taken as a punishment to his father. There must be resentment there, towards both his father and his uncle, and even his older brother. Even though Feyd was essentially chosen to become something more than Rabban, he grew up away from most of his immediate family. Even though he was raised to become Harkonnen royalty, imagine how he might have turned out if he had remained with his father, who had renounced the Harkonnen name.
He was brought up in a cruel and harsh environment. He was made into a killing machine, partly because of Harkonnen customs, partly because Vladimir enjoyed the carnage, and partly because it was the only thing a young Feyd ever knew. As a young man, he loves killing and shredding because it feels natural and is second nature to him, but does he ever wish he had known what it was like growing up in a softer environment? Food for thought.
He hates his uncle. In the book, he attempts an assassination. In DV’s part two, he mentions to the Baron that he should kill him, and the Baron laughs. Vladimir finds it amusing that Feyd would say something like that, because he knows he’s got Feyd under his thumb. Perhaps Feyd is even scared of him.
The Baron is, and was, cruel to him. In the book, after the failed assassination attempt, Vladimir tells his nephew that if he agrees to stop trying to kill him (lol), he’ll step down and let Feyd have his position. BUT he kills his darlings as a punishment (who in the book are female slaves, who act as his lovers)
I already have a ton of headcanons about his darlings in the DV movies, and I really think that Feyd cared for them. So imagine that your own uncle WHO YOU WANT TO KILL takes away the only things you care about?? That’s fucked up man
The Baron abused Feyd to some degree, very possibly sexually—I’ve seen a lot of people pointing out how heavily this is implied by the subtext in both the book and part two. Feyd is actually a complex character, but neither Frank Herbert nor DV really spelled that out, and you have to dig a little and think about it. While I obviously don’t want ANYBODY, even fictional characters, to experience something like SA, I think it does add to the depth of his character and gives more fuel to his rage. It also shows us just how terrible Vladimir really is. I’ve seen it suggested that this is part of what Margot Fenring means when she says that Feyd is sexually vulnerable, but I take that comment to more mean that he opens himself up to the possibility of harm a LOT in bed and that’s when he’s most emotionally vulnerable. BUT I don’t think those things are mutually exclusive
NOW THE MORE FUN IDEAS THAT I ENJOY (fun is a subjective term here lol)
Feyd-Rautha has a vulnerable side, and it’s very, very guarded. It’s buried so deep he may not even be aware of it.
He really does care for his darlings, and that’s the closest thing he feels to love. It’s a possessive, ownership kind of love that we would consider toxic irl, but they’re the only things besides his weapons and power that he cares about.
He doesn’t revere his weapons, but he respects them. They’re not personified, but he appreciates a good killing tool, and likes to take care of his knives.
He views lives as very black and white. There are people who can be killed (slaves, servants, rivals, his uncle), and people who ABSOLUTELY cannot be (his darlings, an SO, his hypothetical children)
He views everyone else as weaker than him, and it’s partially because his uncle would never LET someone as important to his plans as Feyd be harmed, so Feyd rarely feels that his life is actually in danger. Almost everyone he fights in the arena is drugged, and it isn’t like his trainer would fight without shields. He’d be confused and intrigued by someone who could actually defeat him, and he’s so into the art of war and battle that he would respect it (but also be upsetti)
He spends a lot of time watching and calculating in silence. While he’s impatient and has a short temper, he likes to learn about things that interest him.
He’s up to date on Giedi Prime beauty trends and sets a lot of the standards himself. He gets massages and spa treatments regularly and has been known to undergo more serious procedures.
While he doesn’t partake as regularly as his darlings, he occasionally consumes human flesh and blood and doesn’t think it’s weird, because he views almost everyone as lesser than him, so eating them is akin to eating livestock. Alternatively, I could see him going down the “I feel so overwhelmingly deeply about you that I must consume you body and soul” road about someone special but I really don’t think he’s got that brand of romance in him lol
Like lady fenring said, he is, in fact, sexually vulnerable. In the bedroom, he can let out his emotions, and sometimes they’re ugly and sometimes he needs to not be in charge for the night. He leaves himself open to manipulation and harm. Man just really needs a good hug tbh
Canonically hypersexual as a result of trauma
Is harsh as a result of a harsh upbringing, one that looked comfortable from the outside but was anything BUT for him. Beneath the surface, he’s messy.
Aggressive because he’s always had to be to survive. His uncle probably wouldn’t have killed him because he was always integral to Vladimir’s plans, but did a young Feyd know that?? NO
is NOT well traveled. He’s lived on Giedi Prime his whole life, has probably seen Lankiveil, which is cold and watery, and has been on Arrakis, but I think he would NOT know what to do if he was on a lush green planet. All he knows is harsh, extreme environments. If you plop him down in a meadow, he will have NO clue what to do
As a child, he watched his uncle kill anyone who inconvenienced him. This definitely warped Feyd’s concepts of kindness and the value of life.
His childhood was just unbelievably strict and harsh and at the same time he was spoiled in certain ways, and that has led to him growing into a pampered yet still caged man
He would LOVE to slaughter his uncle and feed him to his darlings
In an arranged marriage, something about his spouse would have to suddenly intrigue him, and then he would be HOOKED. He would sink his teeth in and refuse to let go. Opening up to someone who isn’t one of his darlings would be strange and difficult for him
Remember how I said he isn’t used to fighting sober opponents? I think that once he gets a taste for fair fights, he becomes a little addicted to the thrill of it and the power that those victories bring him, and he loses interested in drugged fights. After a lifetime of living under this uncle’s thumb, the control he has over someone’s life and PROVING that he’s better and stronger and meaner than them is the most validating feeling he knows.
He never shows mercy, because no one has ever showed it to him.
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wildechildwrites · 11 months ago
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Lucky Charms
Looney Tunes Part Two
Konig/Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
No use of Y/N
Summary: You have some more encounters with König, the mysterious man who lives in your apartment building.
A/N: König being unintentionally terrifying is so funny. He’s shy and he’s a giant murderer for hire, excuse him for constantly throwing off the vibe. Let me know if you want to be tagged in part three!
AO3 Link: Looney Tunes
You've got bags of groceries hanging from your arms, pinching at your skin, precariously balanced, a white knuckle grip on the laundry detergent that's determined to slip through your fingers before you reach your apartment. The man steps on the elevator with you, and you can feel your face heating up as he looks at you.
You haven't seen him since the night he'd kissed you, and you wondered if he thought of you everytime he rode the elevator. You certainly thought of him.
He makes no effort to disguise his staring, looking down at you with a flat expression, taking in your overflowing arms.
"I hate making more than one trip to my car," you say, answering the question he didn’t ask, shrugging as much as you can with your arms full. You swear you see his eyebrow twitch.
Amusement? Irritation? It's impossible to read him. Instead, you drop your gaze, feeling his eyes still on you.
"My name is König." He says abruptly. Your eyes jump back up to his face, and it's his turn to look away as you grin, introducing yourself.
When you go to get off the elevator, he plucks the detergent out of your hand, gesturing silently for some of the bags you carry. He follows you to your apartment soundlessly, placing the bags down outside of your door. You throw your 'thank you' at his retreating form, and he doesn't acknowledge it.
Later, when you're putting away your groceries, you say his name out loud, tasting it on your tongue.
One of the lights in the parking garage is flickering again, and you sigh in annoyance as you look up at it. The apartment complex took months to fix the last broken bulb, so you’re unenthusiastic about the prospects of a quick repair. It puts you on edge, affecting the visibility and giving the garage an eerie feeling.
“It’s just like a horror movie,” you mumble to yourself, attempting to break the tension you feel as you head towards the exit. It’s late, your workday running longer than it should’ve, and you can’t help the itch of anxiety crawling up your spine.
You pass an unfamiliar man, standing still in between some of the cars. His eyes are on you, and you grip your keys tighter in your hand, speeding up. You hazard a glance over your shoulder and find he's disappeared, and your eyes search the parking lot behind you.
Distracted as you are, unfocused on where you're going, you slam straight into a solid wall of a person. You let out a shriek, head whipping back around and nearly fall backwards as you attempt to scramble away. Two solid hands firmly grip your shoulders, preventing you from tripping. König is standing in front of you, and you sag against his hold in relief.
“You scared me!” you exclaim, a hand going up reflexively to your chest.
“You should be more cautious, häschen,” König responds, and you swear there’s the faintest trace of a smile on his face, the subtle quirk of scarred lips. “Most people look where they are walking to, not where they are walking from.”
You let out a sigh and roll your eyes with a smile, the anxiety seeping out of your body. “The stupid flickering light really freaked me out,” you say, gesturing at the ceiling. “And then there was a man staring at me, but he disappeared.” König nods thoughtfully. His hands are still on your shoulders, and there’s a beat as you both stare at each other.
König clears his throat. “I will speak to the complex maintenance about repairing the light. As for your mystery friend–” König pulls back and slides one finger across his throat. You laugh at the joke, even though he’s not smiling.
König insists on walking you back to your apartment despite your objections, and although you know you were just being silly, you’re touched by the gesture.
“Thank you, König,” you say, lingering in the doorway, and something in his eyes seems to sharpen when you say his name.
You're eating cereal on your couch, watching cartoons when you should be sleeping. It's a childish habit, but after a long day, you're feeling sentimental and too burnt out to process anything with substance. Scrolling through your phone, half paying attention, you almost miss the soft knock on your front door.
König is standing outside, his face obscured by something that looks like an executioner's hood. The gear he's wearing makes him seem even more massive, a mountain of a man standing in front of you.
"May I come in?" He asks, his accented voice low, and you're so caught off guard by the request that your jaw drops.
König stares at you and you stare back, contemplating the matter.
You probably shouldn't let him in, this hulking monster in a mask. You don't even know him really, only interacting a couple of times. He's kissed you, and it was a knee buckling, eye rolling kiss, but does that necessarily grant him access to your apartment?
Your logistical side loses when he lets out a sigh, a huff of air that borders on a whine. You step aside, waving him to the couch as you go to the kitchen to grab another bowl of cereal for him. You want to know why he's here unannounced, but you're unwilling to disturb the delicate balance between the two of you, so you say nothing. He pulls off the mask, eyes on the TV.
“Looney Tunes?” he asks, his voice amused. Daffy Duck lets out a shriek in the silence between you two, and you snort.
“Call it a guilty pleasure,” you reply. König’s eyebrow twitches. You offer him the bowl, and his large fingers brush against yours, shockingly warm and rough. His eyes seem to glint at the contact, an almost avian intensity that makes your skin flush.
You sit down a measured distance away from him, and go back to eating your cereal, attempting to display a level of casual that you do not feel. König seems unaffected, sprawled on your couch, crunching away like he does this every night. He's got his boots on still, tacky with a dark liquid you think could be blood.
"Uh… not that I don't appreciate the company…" you begin after a beat of silence, turning to face him. It's the first time you've seen him really smile, and a part of you is unsure if you like it, the almost predatory glint of teeth.
"I just wanted to see if you'd invite me in." He responds to your unspoken question, his voice rumbling deep from his chest, and there's a sharp edge to his words that make the hairs on the back of your neck prickle.
There's a beat, and your expression must tip him off to your discomfort because his eyes widen.
"I didn't mean– I am sorry I misspoke– sometimes my translations are–" he's stammering, and you instantly relax, feeling guilty for your involuntary reaction.
"No! No it's okay I was just… surprised. I'm glad for the company" You say in a rush, your voice unnaturally high. "You're always welcome to come over."
He smiles again, softer than before. His eyes haven't quite lost the cutting focus, but you smile back, relaxing a little as he takes another bite of cereal. You fall back into companionable silence.
It's late, and you're starting to fade, eyes drooping, curled up into yourself. König hasn't moved from his post on the end of your couch, his empty bowl still cupped in one hand, and you drowsily wonder if it's a military habit, the way he sits with perfect stillness. You stifle a yawn, and he glances over at you without moving his head.
"It's getting late," he says quietly. You watch as he rises in one fluid motion, large strides leading him with a seemingly practiced familiarity to your kitchen. He places his dish in the sink and reaches for the soap. You sit up.
"It's alright, I'll wash the dishes tomorrow," you call out, wiping your eyes, and he nods. You stand as he heads towards the door, your legs slightly unsteady.
"Thank you for the cereal," he says quietly, a hand on the doorknob. You think there is a light dusting of pink around his ears, but it's too dark to really tell.
You smile at him. "You're welcome."
König pauses, turning towards you.
You idly wonder if he'll kiss you again. He looks down at you with an inscrutable expression, bringing a large hand slowly up to your face, the ghost of his fingertips skimming your jaw. You let out an involuntary gasp at the contact, your skin electrified, and he drops his hand.
He opens the door, and you notice his fingers are still curled, as if he's cupping the sensation of your skin against his, holding it in his palm.
○○○●●●○○○●●●○○○
"Good night little rabbit," König whispers, a silhouette in your doorway. "Catch you later."
Part Three
Taglist:
All for you @whos-fran my beloved (the first person to ever ask to be tagged)
If anyone else would like to be on the taglist for part three reply or reblog this post :)
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jamandjazz · 5 months ago
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I've been thinking a lot about Steve lately. I really like thinking about how situations and family dynamics shape people. These quotes specifically, "and Steve— his hatred for his father coming out in his soft, bitter voice and the violence of his temper" and "We never could tell who we'd find stretched out on the sofa in the morning. It was usually Steve, whose father told him about once a week to get out and never come back."
And I know how strange it feels to have parents that are shitty but give you a lot of things materially. He has a car and gets a lot of pity money but his dad never does anything but try to push him to the side and forget about him. There's nothing canon that shows his Dad physically abuses him in any way so there's a good chance he told himself to just be grateful he got so much and his dad wasn't 'that bad.' He's resentful and angry and impulsive and so damn complex and we should talk about that more.
"I thought of Soda and Steve. What if one of them saw the other killed? Would that make them stop fighting? No, I thought, maybe it would make Soda stop, but not Steve. He'd go on hating and fighting," Steve is described as hateful and angry but what else is there for him to do? He can't just leave, he's too attached to where he is but staying isn't good either.
He's mad at the world he was born into, who wouldn't be? Greasers get all the rough breaks but he can't fix that, he's just one kid. (Also he definitely feels like a character that thrives off of being able to fix things, cars, problems, anything that he deems needing 'fixing')
And despite his temper being a big part of his personality that's not all of it. He's friends with Soda, and likes to indulge him. He's got a dry sense of humor and cares so much about anyone that cares for him back. He's protective he's caring and sure sometimes that means he gets violent and angry but that's a lot of what he knows, he's so so so much more than just someone that's just mad all the time despite the fact that that's what he gets boiled down to a lot. In the fandom and in the book, honestly I think that's why he's so close to Soda.
Soda's good at seeing past that sort of thing, he's good and understanding and when your whole life everyone just dismissed you as the kid that was always mad for no reason that's so fucking refreshing. Being seen as more than just your flaws helps you feel human. Helps you remember you deserve just as much care and affection as anyone else, and seeing how the Curtis's treated their kids was honestly probably where a lot of the resentment for his dad started building up.
Anyways this is super long but basically Steve's super complex and I love him.
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mortarpestle · 7 months ago
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ortolan
Short piece with professional chef!sukuna and younger kitchen porter reader. Title taken from the very brutal and illegal French delicacy of the same name, which one must hide their face to eat.
word count: 1.7k
*no curses au, age gap (chefkuna is in his 30s and reader is in their early 20s), employer-employee power imbalance, petnames ("kid", "brat"), Sukuna is intense, reader smokes right off the bat and is…a lil grim and unexpectedly Freudian?? Idk what happened here, suggestive themes ahead.
An angry red flake falls off the tip of your cigarette. It sways and loses some of its brightness on its way to the ground, succumbing to a puddle next to your feet. There's a couple more puffs left before you inevitably reach the filter, maybe double that amount if you're frugal with it. A few stolen breaths to catch until dinner rush.
You hate this fucking job.
You also know that by the time you clock out and return to your apartment, you’ll collapse on your bed with the prospect of a new shift working your nerves into a frenzy. Talk about an abusive relationship. Effectively stockholm syndromed by cutting boards and sous vides—and your boss.
Sukuna seems to have that effect on people.
Behind you, the back door creaks open. Heavy footsteps stamp down the stairs, coming to a stop by your makeshift ashtray. For a few precious seconds you’re content with counting the flour spots staining his black clogs (expensive brand, sleek, better than yours). He smells like his food; spicy, complex and a little smoky. The perks of working 14 hour shifts at a restaurant with high end cuisine and an even higher tax bracket among its customers, is that you’re afforded the luxury of smelling like a human being. No deep frier mystery oil notes clinging onto skin and clothes for you and especially him. You stifle a rather unsavoury thought about his cologne and inhale bitter smoke.
"You'll fry your lungs with that shit, kid."
Despite the distance, he sounds closer than you’d like, closer than you can handle having him. You don’t mean to shiver. Or for him to notice.
"That's the plan."
Every word coming out of your mouth makes you more conscious of your worldliness. Primarily your lack thereof. Speaking to your boss never ceases to make you seem like a peevish child in comparison. The little nickname he insists on using just for you doesn’t help either.
Sukuna doesn’t reply and your stomach churns.
"You don't smoke...why are you out here." You continue, painfully aware of your appearance.
"Don’t get it twisted. I should be the one asking you that. I can think of ten different things you should be doing before traffic picks up instead of getting cozy by the trash.”
The buildup sweat from the kitchen stovetops is slowly settling over your skin. Seated on one of the plastic crates left by your local produce supplier, you feel like a proper rat. What a picture to paint for the man singlehandedly responsible for funding your life.
Getting back to work is the lesser of the two evils you’re presented with. Still, one more smoke before shift's end sounds like a dream. You slip a stick out of the tobacco case tucked inside your apron pocket, taking his silence as permission to light it between your lips.
You smile.
"What's your vice, boss?"
Sukuna clicks his tongue. "Wouldn't you like to know."
He doesn't seem too offended. After working under him for nearly a year you've come to find that Sukuna is a man who is hard to surprise and equally as tricky to offend. Good at hiding it too, when he wants to. Which is why you ask again, be it a bad idea or not.
"Everybody has one. I've never met a professional chef without a few loose screws, so what is it?" Maybe you could've phrased that last better. You're too tired to care.
He mulls over your question without really giving into it. He’s awfully compliant today. Normally he would've chewed your ear off at the second cigarette.
Something’s off.
"I trust you include yourself in that crowd you speak of."
“Not really. I’m not a professional.”
(Ash stings your fingertips, but you refuse to let go.)
"You've got potential." He says, low and succinct.
You choke on your spit, laughing in earnest, "Sure.” Potential for cutting vegetables and cleaning after other people’s messes, maybe.
"I mean it, kid."
Sukuna leans against the railing, arms folding over his chest. One long glance out of the corner of your eye grants you with an intimate view of his tattoos. All these months you've been catching glimpses of the full design, unable to tell where it ends beneath the black fabric. Not a single hair is out of place. His uniform is rolled up just above his elbows, exposing tanned skin with tiny burn marks littered over hard muscle, no doubt from his early training years. He wears them like medals of honour.
The first thing you did after landing a position in his kitchen was googling his name. Ryomen Sukuna is fifteen years older than you and begrudgingly, the only thing standing between you and quitting as soon as tomorrow.
You’re no stranger to unwanted urges, the occasional intrusive thought. It’s human, you are human and therefore unjustly robbed of any sovereignty over your unconscious and its whims. You don’t think much of it. Even when you take your rare bathroom breaks outside peak hours, only to find that you’ve soaked through your underwear just from glances and strict instructions thrown your way. What does that say about you as a person? You don’t intend to figure it out today.
It's a classic case of treating the symptoms and not the source of your disease. Pretending he doesn’t exist outside of the physical place you both work at won’t get you very far. It won’t take long for the tide to turn over. Sukuna doesn’t play with his food. Only with the people tasked with preparing it.
You tug at a stray piece of lint on your chest, playing with the cotton ball over the flame of your lighter.
"If boss says it."
"Don't call me that." he all but sneers at you over your shoulder. His voice is grating when he wants it to be. You don’t flinch, not even when you turn around to catch the stare he’s drilling into your slouched back. On a second thought you don’t think he’s taken his eyes off of it since he he stepped out to join you. His stare is violence. He makes you want to crawl out of your own skin for comfort.
Working within a kitchen hierarchy is much like having a father; you get used to raised voices and empty threats whether you like it or not. With Sukuna creeping around the counters, you also learn to not talk back if you know what’s best for you. You consider yourself lucky to have never stood on the receiving end of anything more severe than a scolding. Then again, you’re not important enough in the grand scheme of it all, and you make a point to take advantage of that as often as you can.
"Are you not?" you sneer back.
"I'm quitting," Sukuna bares his teeth at you, "Expected to be gone by next week."
You bet he’s enjoying the look on your face. Surprised stupid.
"Pick your jaw up off the ground, s'not a good look on you."
You collect your thoughts and try to convince him that this doesn’t change everything for you. "Can I have your knives? The fancy Japanese ones you keep inside the office safe."
"You better keep your mouth shut and listen to what I have to say before I change my mind you brat." His voice commands you to look at him, "I'm not retiring. I'm opening my own joint and I want you to join me."
You feel nauseous.
"Why."
You've never been one to count your blessings, mainly because it's not worth doing so when you can do it on only one hand. Everyone says your early 20s are hell, the trenches of adulthood. No second-hand warnings and half assed attempts at lukewarm life lessons could've prepared you for the slump you hit after graduating college. Money is tight as it's always been, only now you've got twice the amount of problems and half the support.
The job advertisement was a beacon of good luck amidst a sea of bad decisions.
You had to fight tooth and nail to get through the first week (hell week, objectively the worst time in any hospitality job) without any power or warm water in your apartment after missing the payment deadline. Sukuna noticed—not like it was hard to, given that you looked like shit fresh into your employment—and slid you an early paycheck tucked inside an envelope on lunch break. A week's worth of dailies in an employment contract that only guarantees monthly wages.
You could cry.
(You did. In front of him.)
(He looked so distraught he almost snatched it back.)
"You're good, honest. Smart yet a little stupid, but even that's necessary to get by in the business. Like I said you have potential and I want you in my kitchen when you see it through."
"I think," you start.
Sukuna gives you a sly smile, mumbling a barely audible “Is that so” with his eyes narrowed down to slits.
"—You're only doing this out of spite. Stealing Gojo's staff is dirty work."
"Started that sentence on the wrong foot. You think I’d sabotage my own shit just to get back at that fraud? Most of the guys he's got back there working for him don't even know how to grill chicken without fucking up."
Yes. Yes, you do believe he’d do that, but opt to keep the thought to yourself. You’re sure Sukuna would kill the guy if he were guaranteed to get away with it. Gojo is an angel investor in name and nothing else.
"I'll give you a week, no more no less. Sit on it, let it marinade in that little head of yours and have your answer ready by morning shift." He pushes off the railing to take his leave. Halfway up the steps he backtracks to reach you, snatches the cigarette out of your fingers and takes a long drag, draining the leftover tobacco inside the poorly rolled paper. After he's done, he licks his lips and kisses his front teeth to taste your saliva, humming in satisfaction.
Kicking away the crate, you get up on baby fawn legs, half numb from being folded over yourself for so long. They tremble, a blink and you’ll miss it movement. Sukuna’s limp hand twitches by his side.
He’s about to leave for good when you speak again, moving towards him.
"You never answered my question.”
What's your vice?
Sukuna stumps your cigarette on the brick wall next to your head. His words are low, barely audible over the commotion slipping through the open door.
"Be good and I might just show you in practice."
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fragmentedblade · 9 months ago
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I think taking the kids to a park or something could make Kalpas a little better. Violent-playing with them may make him laugh. There's no cure for whatever Aponia, Vill-V, Elysia, Kevin and Fu Hua have going on. Su is on very thin ice and needs to chill. Pardofelis is kind of there. Mobius can stay I guess. Sakura is so bland she too can stay but for literally the opposite reason. Eden is on the same page as Kalpas imo
I can't believe Kalpas is literally the most normal and bearable person among the Flame Chasers
#I find Su very very... plain and wise-wannabe but in a way in which he just says very superficial stuff? 15yo thinking he's wise#But I think it's the writing. The writing overall feels very 15yo thinking they're writing something super deep#Mobius is written I believe to be beyond human limitations and thus she actually makes sense. Until the end. Hated the To the other me thin#I think she and Su are very similar in concept but the way Su is written feels so pedantic (bad) and fake deep he annoys me#Sakura is extremely bland and that's all there's to her I believe. I can't believe they failed to make her interesting#with how good the thing with Rin and her becoming a traitor for that is#How do you manage to make someone so boring when playing with the setsuna concept?#Kind of the same with Fu Hua but Fu Hua gets on my nerves. Elysia too. Could have been a good character even keeping how annoying she is#but there's no brushing off the exist that stains everything in her personality. I think I know where this is going with the Herrshers#and I also don't like the choice#On the other hand Kalpas has a concept I don't like at all but ironically I find him more interesting in how he's written#than many of the others (perhaps because I expected nothing) and definitely more bearable#That I find him so similar to Eden sure helps. It enhanced my appreciation for both characters#Same with Su but tbh in this case Mobius entirely saves Su for me#If she weren't here or if they didn't parallel each other the very thin ice under Su's feet would break#I think overall the writing of this game isn't good but this bunch of people is unbearable#Maybe it's because you experience them all together but they're even harder to digest than the main characters for me#Anyway... Perhaps the writing gets better with the mangas but I believe even if they expand the writing should be good already in the game#And I don't think that's the case. The main arc is very vocaloid-y. Good concepts but come on three lines and a video clip aren't enough#I don't understand why people feel so heartbroken about Himeko. She was there for fifteen minutes and then died#And also the game forces you to trust or distrust people when they don't really work on why. Why do I have to trust Elysia more than Mobius#Because Elysia is pink and silly while Mobius is disabled green and clever? But there are several such examples. It annoys me so much#Also in Sakura Samsara. Another thing with potential with terrible writing#Ksllen literally 'I know her for a few days but she would never do this!' what do you know?Literally it took rewriting history several time#'But she was mind controlled!' and yet we could persuade her so it wasn't entirely mind control. It's terrible writing#And it is very similar to all the criticism I have about the Firefly writing in Penacony. And even the Penacony arc as a whole#No wonder they're written by the same guy. Kinda gives off edgy 15yo trying to write deep complex things indeed *sigh*#Anyway... I would let Kalpas break Aponia and then monster-play catch with Kosma or something#I talk too much#there's no brushing off the sexism*
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punkeropercyjackson · 2 months ago
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I really resent the idea Hobie isn't traumatized or has no mental health problems/emotional issues because he's so clearly an allegory for the adultification of black kids(and therefore actually one)like how Gwen is obviously an allegory for trans girls(and therefore actually one).The most you'll get out of Atsv fans on it is 'he grew up too fast' but they never go in depth into how much it must've hurt him and who hurt him.Society as a whole,no duh,but in the comics,he's implied to be an orphan and the only incarnations we have of his parents are his dad abandoning him as a baby and his mom turning abusive over it.That's what adultification,objectively,is-Child abuse.Hobie's not 'practically an adult',he is mentally and physically a minor and he was robbed of the right to be one nonstop,systematically.He had to fight for his right to exist,he has to fight for others right to exist and he dosen't really get to rest and just feel like a real kid all that often.Plus,realistically,Hobie isn't looked on positively in his world and that would do damage to anybody's self-eestem as a highly profilic public figure but especially to a black child and while he's the coolest ever the whole time,i can't buy he's always known that and i'll bet he was told the opposite by other kids growing up and how socially awkward he is sometimes makes me think his number of friends wasn't all that high and a common experience amongst alt/punk black kids is isolation and bullying from other children for being 'weird' and there's the confirmation he used to be homeless before his houseboat so the orphan status seems to be carried over to this take on him too
I know he wasn't onscreen for as long as Gwen so i don't fault people for not recognizing this and focusing moreso on her explicit traumatic experiences,moreover since it tends to involve him comforting her and i'm a sucker for troubled kid solidarity and romance,most of all since this one is canonically t4t and possibly transmasc4transfem specifically and even punk4punk too instead of them 'he was a punk,she did ballet' poserpills
Still,lack of screentime never stopped anyone for making up tons of tragic aus for Pavitr and even The Spot and erasing Jefferson and Rio to do with them Miles too as if Miles G dosen't exist and pulled it off infinitely better than any fanon alternative universe Miles i've ever encountered.This is going to get some people tweaking too but this is also exactly why i hate No.irpunk and even the platonic concept of Hobie instantly respecting Noir.Hobie has much more street cred than Noir and way heavier trauma and Noir isn't even punk-He's an antifa but punk is a culture,not just an ideology and i find it an unearned superiority complex N/H shippers will disregard Hobie's actual romantic chemistry with Gwen based on her loving him for who he is and giving somebody to bond over mutual interests with and heal his inner child in the process to say he should be a freedom fighter and nothing more,as if he's not a 17 year old black boy and Noir very,VERY likely a middle aged white man who's culture(not punk)(judaism)is against pedophillic relathionships as a religious rule.There's no evidence for Hobie being an adult but there's plenty borderline text saying he's an adultified black teenager and i wish it was spoken on instead of performative 'lmao fuck captalism' jokes as you buy official Atsv merch and stereotyped sexualization over a character who never got to grow up,not as a 'real kid' nor enough to be in the proper headspace to explore his sexuality as openly as a normal teen
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shorlinesorrows · 7 months ago
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okay, a couple things on alien stage/ivantill that I think some folks maybe need to consider and internalize.
Till does not "need" to return Ivan's feelings in the slightest if he doesn't feel that way. It's heart wrenching to see Ivan love him and have those feelings unreturned, but please remember that no one is required to return romantic feelings for someone else. You can't make yourself love someone, and you shouldn't. Especially out of guilt or obligation. That's Unhealthy 101, and would only set a relationship up for failure. (I do think Till cared about Ivan, and that he's going to have a Guilt Complex based on the fact that he didn't fully notice Ivan's feelings/care toward him until the guy died, but I've seen a couple of people tear into Till for not noticing/reciprocating Ivan's feelings??? Don't do that??? their situation is shitty, the fact that they didn't get to talk is shitty, but please don't blame Till for things he Can't Control.)
The kiss was not consensual. It wasn't meant to be portrayed as such. It wasn't even really romantic, it was a desperate, selfish act that Ivan used to get Till's attention (in more ways than one) and to give himself some sense of closure before he died. It was him saying everything that he felt at once, with no chance for Till to reciprocate or deny the affection. In a perfect world, they could have talked instead of this, maybe kissed knowing both wanted it, or given Till a chance to refuse. But they're both in the middle of an essential death tournament and one of them is going to be murdered sometime in the next few minutes. Neither of them really wants to live, but Ivan feels he has unfinished business before his sacrifice, so he finishes it. Their situation sucks. That doesn't mean the kiss was consensual. (especially considering the theory/implication that Till was/is being sexually assaulted by aliens, I wouldn't be surprised if this affects him badly in the future, for multiple reasons. Everyone should always get the chance to say "no" and have that fully respected. This also extends to the fact that Ivan died for Till without giving him a chance to stop it, which is probably going to mess with Till's head a lot. Then again, Ivan likely didn't think it would affect Till much because as far as he/we know, the feelings aren't reciprocated in this moment in canon, or are extremely repressed. Ivan might believe that Till simply hates him, or the kiss/subsequent "choking" may have been a way of trying to make Till hate him so that his death wouldn't hurt as much. Of course that thinking is flawed, because it would hurt Till no matter what, but still, it makes me sad)
Ivan... is kinda messed up. I adore him, but we've got to acknowledge that he has little to no emotional and relationship maturity due to the fact that he was quite literally raised as a pet and learned at a young age to do whatever his masters said to keep himself safe and pain-free. His fascination with Till appears to largely stem from Till's sense of rebellion. Ivan's examples of relationship dynamics and what constitutes as "love" is dangerously unbalanced, and he does not know how to build a healthy relationship. (Neither of them do.) This is also built onto the fact that the person he became dependent on only paid attention to him when they were fighting or Ivan was annoying him. Ivan cares about Till desperately, but he is also dangerously reliant on him to the point of self-detriment. Again, in an ideal world, they would be able to get out of this situation and gradually make a healthy relationship/friendship (depending on Till's feelings) over time while starting to undo the dangerous relationship patterns that they fell into when they didn't have any way to know better. But they're in a terrible situation, and Ivan really just doesn't get the chance to grow as a person and realize that his sense of possessiveness and reliance on Till's attention isn't healthy.
Basically, their situation makes me want to sob and its heart wrenching. Their circumstances have set them up for failure. Both of them are in the midst of attempting to survive an abusive situation and massive amounts of dehumanization. I beg, please try not to sanitize their complicated relationship or blame either of them for the pain the other is going through. I've seen some of that going around, and it's making me sad :(
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wolf-tail · 8 months ago
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Even if Rowling wasn't completely off the holocaust denying deep-end, the way she wrote those wizard books kind of pisses me off now that i'm older because they have so much potential to be better than they actually were.
Like, middle school me was eating that shit up for a reason, you don't become one of the most popular authors in the world who created one of the most well-known pieces of literature in the world off of dumb luck. There were things she did right. Unfortunately , now that i'm older I can see everything she did wrong. And my writer's brain mixed with my ego is telling me that I could make it better.
Implant a heavier theme of the wizarding world's patronizing bullshit and entitlement. Like seriously, the complete unwarranted superiority complex that these chuckle fucks have is obnoxious beyond belief. Even middle school me knew that there was no good reason to keep magic away from the people they made up a slur for. Maybe that should have been the main theme of the books.
Seriously, it ties in so well with the evil wizard supremacy sublot. The solution to systemic discrimination is not to get rid of bigoted people. It's to tear down those systems entirely. The wizarding world seriously needs a status quo shake up.
Revamp the house elves or just cut them out entirely. Just don't fucking justify slavery. IT'S NOT THAT HARD!!!
Maybe this is lefist brain talking but do not make Harry grow up to be a fucking magic cop. In fact, I would have had made the Aurors be unbelievably awful and corrupt, just like a real cops!
Give the characters of color less racist names.
Stop describing your female villains as "mannish"
The greedy goblin banker theme is one of the most disgustingly antisemetic things i've ever had the displeasure of putting up with. What the fuck is wrong with you Joanne!? I would just cut that shit out.
The violent fatphobia grosses me out so much. When I was little I wanted Dudley to get a PROPER redemption arc so bad and not be abused for his weight. In fact , if I were Rowling, I would have added in a sublot about Dudley discovering his own magic to and having to unlearn the shit his parents taught him, as well as deal with their painful rejection of him. That would've been really cool.
Apparently lycanthropy was supposed to be a metaphor for HIV??? Ew, Joanne. No. It's like she never talked to a gay man in her life.
The "love" potions piss me off SO BAD. Voldemort's mother was not in love. She was a rapist. I would change that up entirely.
Snape is not a hero. He was an incel in a hate group. Acknowledge him as such and don't have Harry name his fucking kid after him.
Hey, quick question, why does the school have a blood supremacist house???? Why was this allowed??? Why did she write Slytherin to just be openly discriminatory towards mixed blood kids????
Whatever the dad Weasely's name is, I would have played off his whole "weeb for nonmagical people" thing as more patronizing and accidentally insensitive than endearing. He reminds me of white moms who say konichiwa to the waiter at Chinese restaurants and think they're "cultured".
For the love of god, treat the female characters other than Hermione with an OUNCE of respect.
Now that I know more about animal welfare and the exotic pet industry, Hagrid kinda gets on my nerves. I would add a sublot about him learning to respect the boundaries of wild animals.
I can't think of anything else that ticks me off about the books right now but I will come back to this if I do.
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