#i know i know you're not supposed to think about these things
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harrysfolklore · 3 days ago
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31st - hs
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happy birthday to the one and only love of my life 🥹🥹 31 omg! i hope he has the best day ever <33
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
You woke up early on February 1st, carefully slipping out of bed without disturbing Harry, who was still peacefully sleeping. The morning sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains, reflecting light across his face. At 31, he was somehow even more beautiful than when you'd first met him - a few more laugh lines around his eyes, his curls slightly shorter now, but still undeniably your Harry.
Making your way to the kitchen, you began the birthday breakfast preparations you'd been planning for days. You started brewing his favorite coffee and pulled out the ingredients for the banana pancakes he loved so much.
As you worked, you couldn't help but smile, remembering his 30th birthday last year - the big party, all their friends and family gathered together. This year, though, Harry had asked for something quieter, more intimate. "Just us," he'd said, "maybe dinner with family later."
The sound of footsteps made you look up, and there he was, leaning against the doorframe in his pajama bottoms and that old Rolling Stones t-shirt you loved so much.
"You're supposed to be sleeping," you scolded playfully, whisking the pancake batter.
"Bed was cold without you," he mumbled, voice still rough with sleep. His hair was adorably mussed, and he had pillow creases on his cheek. "Besides, something smells amazing."
"Happy birthday, love," you said softly, abandoning your cooking to wrap your arms around him.
He hummed contentedly, pulling you closer and burying his face in your neck. "Thank you, baby."
"Thirty-one," you mused, running your fingers through his hair. "How does it feel?"
"Honestly?" He pulled back to look at you, his green eyes twinkling. "Pretty much the same as thirty. Though I did find another grey hair yesterday."
You laughed, reaching up to touch the single silver strand at his temple. "I think it makes you look distinguished."
"Distinguished?" He raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress a smile. "Is that what we're calling it?"
"Mhmm," you nodded seriously. "Very sophisticated. Very George Clooney."
"Oi!" He tickled your sides, making you squeal. "I'm not that old yet!"
The pancakes were momentarily forgotten as you both dissolved into laughter, play-fighting in the kitchen like teenagers. Finally, Harry pulled you close again, pressing soft kisses along your jaw.
"You know," he murmured, "this is already my favorite birthday."
"It's barely started!"
"Doesn't matter. I'm here with you, in our kitchen, and you're making me breakfast. What could be better?"
Your heart swelled with love for this man who could find joy in the simplest moments. "Well, it might get even better when you see your presents."
His eyes lit up like a child's. "Presents? But you said we weren't doing big gifts this year!"
"And we're not," you assured him, turning back to the pancakes before they burned. "Just a few small things. Though..." you paused for dramatic effect, "there might be tickets to that vintage guitar show in Nashville you were talking about."
Harry's gasp of delight made you laugh. "Really? The one with the '59 Les Paul?"
"Maybe," you sang, flipping a pancake. "You'll have to wait and see."
He wrapped his arms around you from behind, watching you cook. "Have I told you lately that you're the best wife ever?"
You felt your cheeks flush at the word 'wife,' still not quite used to hearing it spoken aloud. After nearly a year of marriage, it was still your precious secret, shared only with family and closest friends. The ring on your finger was usually hidden away in public, and you'd both become experts at careful wording in interviews.
"Shh," you teased, though your heart fluttered at his words. "The walls might have ears."
Harry chuckled, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. "You know, I've been thinking about that actually."
"About what?" you asked, sliding the last pancake onto the plate.
He turned you around gently, his expression thoughtful. "About keeping it secret. Don't get me wrong, this past year has been incredible, having something that's just ours. But sometimes..." he paused, running a hand through his hair, "sometimes I just want to tell the whole world that I'm married to the most amazing woman."
You set down the spatula, studying his face. "Really? You want to go public?"
"Only if you're ready," he said quickly. "But yeah, I do. It's been almost a year, and honestly, I'm tired of not being able to call you my wife whenever I want to. Of having to take my ring off for appearances. Of watching you do the same."
Your heart raced at the possibility. "It would change things," you said softly. "The privacy we've had..."
"I know," he nodded, taking your hands in his. "But maybe... maybe it's time. And what better day than my birthday? We could post something simple, just us."
You thought about it for a moment. The past year had been magical, your private bubble of newlywed bliss protected from the public eye. But he was right - there was something exhausting about constantly hiding, about choosing your words so carefully, about slipping your rings off before stepping outside.
"Okay," you finally said, a smile spreading across your face. "Let's do it."
Harry's eyes lit up. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," you laughed as he pulled you into a tight hug. "But after breakfast! These pancakes are getting cold."
Later, after breakfast and presents, you both sat on the couch, phones in hand. You'd chosen a simple photo from your wedding day - just your hands intertwined, both wearing your rings, nothing too revealing but unmistakably a wedding photo.
"Ready?" he asked, his thumb hovering over the 'post' button.
You took a deep breath, nodding. "Ready."
With a click, your secret was out in the world. You both turned your phones to silent, knowing they would explode with notifications any second.
"How does it feel?" Harry asked, pulling you close.
You twisted your ring, which for the first time wouldn't have to come off when you left the house later. "Liberating," you decided. "Scary, but good scary."
"No more hiding," he agreed, kissing your temple.
"No more hiding," you repeated, then laughed. "Your mum's going to be thrilled. She's been dying to post those wedding photos."
"Oh God," Harry groaned good-naturedly. "She's probably already sharing them as we speak."
You snuggled closer to him, enjoying this quiet moment before the world would inevitably explode with the news. "Happy birthday, H. Sorry I kind of hijacked it with our announcement."
"Are you kidding?" He grinned down at you. "This is the best gift you could have given me. Now everyone knows I'm the luckiest man alive."
"Charmer," you muttered, but you were smiling.
"Your charmer," he corrected, then added with obvious delight, "Your husband."
"My husband," you agreed, loving how it felt to say it out loud, knowing you wouldn't have to whisper it anymore.
───────── ౨ৎ ─────────
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liked by zayn, yourinstagram and 20,876,449 others
harrystyles Best birthday gift was marrying my soulmate almost a year ago. Thank you for keeping our secret. ❤️
February, 2024
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username1 WHAT THE HELL
username2 IS THIS A JOKE
taylorswift Finally!! 🥂 Keeping this secret was TORTURE. So happy for you both ♥️
gemmastyles Bbout time you two told everyone!! now i can finally post all the cute photos from the wedding 😭💕
lizzo YALL I WAS AT THE WEDDING AND HAD TO PRETEND I WASNT THIS WHOLE TIME 😭 CONGRATS AGAIN BESTIES
niallhoran The most beautiful day! Love you both!
yourinstagram Finally 🤍 Happy birthday to my husband (!!!) who makes every day feel like a love song. Thank you for choosing me, always.
username3 HUSBAND???????? MARRIED????????? IM SHAKING AND CRYING AND THROWING UP
username4 OH MY GOD THE SIGNS WERE THERE ALL ALONG. REMEMBER WHEN HE KEPT TOUCHING HIS RING FINGER IN THAT ONE INTERVIEW??
username5 not me zooming in on every detail of this photo 👀 THE RINGS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL IM SOBBING
username6 the way they kept this secret for a YEAR?? we love a private couple
username7 HARRY STYLES IS A MARRIED MAN. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT. HARRY STYLES IS A MARRIED MAN
username8 im so happy for them but also crying in the club rn 😭
username9 THE WAY YN JUST CALLED HIM HUSBAND IM SCREAMING
username10 not me thinking about how they had a whole secret wedding and we had no idea 😭 they're so powerful
username11 "best birthday gift" STOP IM CRYING THIS IS SO ROMANTIC
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lila-kriegerin · 1 day ago
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OMG, OP!
I was just about to suggest "Now & Then "
but I saw it in your tags.
I'm so sorry this may look like an unhinged rant no one asked for, but someone has to tell people younger than me what I know, so I spent 2 hours crafting a reply/follow-up/addendum to you post, OP. Please forgive any formatting errors. I tried to keep things simple and engaging but a few things may look a little bit odd depending on what sort of device you're viewing it on. I couldn't take the risk of making all the text too small
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQLVzTtt2Ws
The biggest problem trying to find similar films is that they often involve at least two of the girls having some kind of relationship to boys causing drama (I'm looking at you, "Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants "... and others) whereas a film like "Dead Poets Society " is definitely in that pseudo-homoerotic and explicitly homoerotic range of storytelling.
Why do you think "Little Women" was popular for so long? It was the 1oth century literary equivalent with the requisite brush with death and loss so common to an era before even antibiotics existed... and loss and grief still happen today.
It's true that so few are like "Newsies " and "West Side Story ", but DON'T sleep on hits like "Annie" &
🥁 drumroll, please 🥁
Want to guess what was the first obviously gay song featured in a film from Hollywood (after the Hayes Code)?
The First Gay Anthem: Calamity Jane's 'Secret Love'
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It's not "West Side Story " because it's a western frontier musical, and they skirted the lines as hard as they could to have a nice Christian young woman fancying a "tomboy": Calamity Jane (who by historical record seems to have favoured women and men).
Though based on American Western folklore, this premise clearly imitated the successful 1950 film version of Irving Berlin's Broadway musical Annie Get Your Gun, about Wild West sharpshooter Annie Oakley.
But instead of a make-over, Calamity Jane gives its tough-gal heroine a powerfully symbolic pistol; her masculine aggression plays with sexual identity through gestures enlarged to the point of farce. And then it goes deeper--into emotional confusion that grows from Jane taking on supposed male habits. Doris Day brings comic overstatement to Jane's complex repression of her own instincts. Like many a closet case, she exhibits a self-defeating willingness to fit into a male-dominated culture. Her tough mannerisms are also designed to protect her hidden, vulnerable emotions.
You have to dig.
Dig deep, and be willing to watch a film with a different spoken language and culture, but there are some parallels.
Consider the Britney Spears film, which I believe is called "Crossroad(s)" in English. [Sorry, I don't have time to look up the title.]
Now— what if there were a film that's something a bit like a lesbian equivalent?
Touch
A Chinese movie produced/sponsored by the sapphic dating app Rela. It follows three girls on a road trip. Chinese language with English subtitles.
I've never, EVER seen any website draw direct comparisons to other films that way, such as:
If you loved "She's The Man" but want it more sapphic (though ultimately thwarted by the producer), you can't miss "Bend It Like Beckham"!
The photo which was posted by OP DOES contain valid points!! (No one is going to treat you "like a man/boy" unless they truly think that's what you are, and society DOES socialise people differently, so: how would a group of teenage girls or very young adult women ever have experiences identical to those in a film like "Dead Poet's Society"?)
Nevertheless, there are some similar films that are comparable:
"Superbad" — "Booksmart".
I decided to hyperfocus trying to think up some equivalents to "Dead Poet's Society".
Here's a quick comparison I spent far too much time on:
If you’re looking for a Dead Poets Society equivalent with mostly female characters, a few films capture that same blend of deep emotional intimacy, artistic passion, and repressed desire. Here are the best contenders:
1. Mädchen in Uniform (1931 & 1958)
This is the OG queer boarding school drama. Set in a strict Prussian girls' school, it follows a young student, Manuela, who falls in love with her teacher, Fräulein von Bernburg. The film is explicitly homoerotic in a way that Dead Poets Society is only suggestive of—there’s longing glances, whispered affections, and a stifling environment that tries to crush individuality and desire. Like Neil, Manuela faces tragic consequences for daring to express herself.
Cracks (2009) — If Dead Poets Society were darker and more explicitly about queer desire, it would be Cracks. This film follows a group of girls at a remote British boarding school under the spell of their charismatic teacher, Miss G (Eva Green, in all her seductive, unhinged glory). When a new student arrives, power struggles and hidden obsessions unravel. It has all the repression, poetry, and tragic queerness you could want.
Heavenly Creatures (1994) — Peter Jackson (yes, Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson) directed this feverishly intense drama about two schoolgirls in 1950s New Zealand—Pauline and Juliet—whose bond becomes so consuming that it leads to murder. Like Dead Poets Society, it’s about breaking free from repression, but it takes a much darker turn. The homoerotic tension between the girls is undeniable, and the fantasy world they create as an escape mirrors the way the DPS boys use poetry to carve out their own space in a suffocating environment.
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) — This one’s all about atmosphere—a haunting, dreamlike film about a group of girls at an Australian boarding school who mysteriously vanish during a picnic. While there’s no overt romance, the film is full of lingering touches, dreamy stares, and a pervading sense of longing and repression. The rigid Victorian setting and the contrast between the natural world and societal constraints make it feel spiritually connected to DPS.
The Falling (2014) — Starring Florence Pugh and Maisie Williams, this film is weird and hypnotic. It’s set in an all-girls school in the 1960s and follows a mysterious fainting epidemic that spreads through the students. It has the same themes of teenage rebellion, deep female friendships that tip into obsession, and an oppressive institution trying to crush individual expression.
Céline and Julie Go Boating (1974) — This is a more whimsical, surreal take on female friendship and creativity. It follows two women who fall into a bizarre, looping story in a haunted house, constantly re-experiencing and altering the narrative. It has a Dead Poets Society vibe in the sense that it’s about escaping rigid reality through art and imagination, but with a queer-coded, magical twist.
If you want the closest equivalent to "Dead Poets Society"...
..."Mädchen in Uniform" or "Cracks" are your best bets, and Cracks more than Mädchen in Uniform
because the latter is so old fashioned that to further scandalise viewers they paired a teacher with a student.
If you want something more poetic and atmospheric, "Picnic at Hanging Rock" or "The Falling" will scratch that itch.
If all of that is too gay for you (gofuckyourself, tee-hee)
You really, REALLY should try
"Mona Lisa Smile".
(...and if it's not too gay for you, then go watch CRACKS right now!)
"Mona Lisa Smile" [hereafter referred to as MLS] is often called the "Dead Poets Society" [hereafter, DPS] for women, and yeah, it certainly hits a lot of the same beats—
an outsider teacher inspiring students to challenge societal norms,
a prestigious school that values obedience over individuality, and
a group of young people grappling with expectations that threaten to suffocate them.
Where DPS is about breaking free through poetry and self-expression, MLS is about that sort of thing tosome degree, but more about feminism, gender roles, and the fight for intellectual freedom in a world that wants women to be just wives and mothers.
Similarities to Dead Poets Society
The Inspirational Teacher as a Catalyst for Change
In DPS, John Keating (Robin Williams) shakes up Welton Academy’s rigid, tradition-obsessed environment with poetry and passion.
In MLS, Katherine Watson (Julia Roberts) does the same at Wellesley College, using art history to challenge her students’ pre-ordained roles as perfect housewives.
Both teachers are NOT merely instructing— they’re awakening their students, making them see the world differently, and often doing so in ways that put them at odds with their school’s administration.
The Oppressive Institution and Its Ideals
Welton Academy is a suffocating prep school that values discipline over creativity, much like Wellesley College in the 1950s. They outwardly promote academic excellence but ultimately groom women to become ideal wives. (T_T)
Both films show how these institutions uphold deeply ingrained traditions that resist change, even when it's clearly needed.
Both films show some of the human cost of trying, and giving up.
A Group of Students at a Crossroads
Just like Todd, Neil, and the rest of the DPS boys who struggle between expectation and their own desires, the young women in MLS— Joan, Betty, Giselle, and Connie—each navigate their own battles between societal pressure and personal ambition.
Joan (Julia Stiles) mirrors Todd.
Betty (Kirsten Dunst) is like a mix of Cameron and Richard from DPS.
Giselle (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is the Charlie of the group.
The Tragedy of Repression
DPS’s tragedy is clear: someone's dreams are crushed & there is a heartbreaking su*c*de [all the trigger warnings apply]. MLS doesn’t have a singular moment that tragic, but its heartbreak is quieter—seeing some brilliant young women choose societal expectations over their own ambitions because it feels like the only option... that is definitely going to haunt some people more than it may haunt white cis-hetero male viewers.
In both films, someone (one you probably like most of all, in both films) will have something horrible happen to them by their own choice, and that is very haunting.
Additionally, I dont think it's too big a spoiler to say oth films end with the teacher leaving— but to say why would spoil the endings of the films.
The last scenes mirror each other emotionally: in DPS & MLS, a quiet, bittersweet goodbye with both endings suggesting that while the teacher is gone, the ideas they planted will live on.
Key Differences
The Central Conflict
DPS is about breaking free from repression through art and poetry. It’s about passion, self-expression, and the fight for creative freedom.
MLS is about that too, though with more of a (*cough*white*cough*cough*) feminist focus on gender roles, feminism, and intellectual independence to have intellectual and self growth as an individual— and it asks whether women can truly be free when they’re still expected to conform to outdated expectations.
Homoerotic "Sub"text
[be honest: if you miss it in either film you're in denial or unobservent and that is your own journey you need to take]
DPS is filled with homoerotic tension, especially between Todd and Neil. The intimacy between the boys—the longing glances, the whispered poetry, the emotional weight of their friendships—feels deeply charged.
If you DEMAND that level of queerness, MLS ain't it.
MLS has some queer subtext, particularly with [one character], who is coded as more fluid in her sexuality, but the film doesn’t lean into that as much as DPS does because it's focused more on the pseudo-historical narrative from the book upon which it was based.
Don't forget that DPS came out to cinemas...
THEN "The Craft" did,
THEN "Cruel Intentions" did,
THEN MLS.
DPS was intentionally pushing boundaries of censors for queer story-telling when the USA was still afraid for gay people to peck each other with a little kiss on the lips on television before 10 PM.
DPS ends in a tragedy that reinforces the cost of defying the system— [spoilers redacted], and the boys are [narratively] left in a state which leaves the viewers feeling a bittersweet limbo.
MLS is perhaps a bit more hopeful; and although the school seemingly remains unchanged, things in that world have definitely shifted for the characters.
Their worlds aren't fully transformed though for MLS, it’s beginning to open up, but MLS leaves viewers with their own bittersweet limbo like DPS[-lite] with a sliver of a dash of hope.
Final Verdict:
"Mona Lisa Smile" is "Dead Poets Society" through a differing feminist lens.
It swaps poetry for art,
an all-boys school for an all-girls college, and
queer-coded male friendships for female students fighting for their intellectual freedom.
It has the same spirit—
a teacher who inspires students to think for themselves, an oppressive institution trying to maintain order, and young people wrestling with societal expectations.
However, where DPS is a tale of tragic repression, MLS leans toward quiet rebellion— not a fiery "O Captain, My Captain" moment, but a slow, steady push toward change.
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just saw this on pinterest and it hit me like a truck
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yarnabee · 2 days ago
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THE DOCTOR HEADCANNON — BEING HIS PLAYTHING.
harley sawyer ( the doctor ) x reader
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tags/warnings: sfw (15+), light gore, torture/impact, power imbalance, degradation, abusive behaviour, posessive behaviour, kidnapping i suppose
sawyer is a HUGE jerk to everyone, including to his own little precious plaything, you. of course, such a cold, dense body made out of metal wouldn't make sense if it had a heart, wouldn't it?
besides.. your timid reactions to his sick, little experiments were what piqued his interest in the first place. what a lovely sight it is to see a flesh roaming around his prison like a helpess, pathetic rat who lost its way home. whether you writhe, yelp, whine, sob, or scream.. it's all melody to his ears.
he loves purposefully letting you escape from his lair, making you think that there's still hope to escape his hellish prison. just as you thought you were free of his grasp, he'll pin you, his beloved trophy, down—his mechanical figure hovering over you, eyes daunting as it pierces towards your cowardly ones, squeezing your neck tightly with his iron first, making sure that you knew there's no use fighting someone much stronger than you are. oh, how he loves watching the glint of hope fading from your pupils—dulling them with fear instead. he'd purposefully taunt you, mocking you with his laugh as it echoes through the hallways, "you really thought you could escape me, hmm? what an interesting thing you are, little rat."
oh, how he loves turning every single thing into a game that he knew you'd lose from the very beginning. it's amusing to see how you'd react time to time, whether you try to fight back or whimper out of fear, he feasts on it nonetheless. he'll purposefully make you play hide and seek with him, taunt you with his creaking footsteps, then having his way with you once he got his fingers wrapped tightly around you—dragging you into his lair once again as your fights and cries means nothing to him. "don't try to fight, little rat. i know you're at least smart enough to understand why."
don't get him wrong, though. just because he's able to leave cuts and bruises all over your delicate skin doesn't mean any of those filthy creatures roaming outside has the right to leave a scratch on you, not even a single one. oh, how sawyer wouldn't even think twice to rip appart the limbs off those past experiments who still roams in the area, who dares to touch you without any permission. you're his plaything, and only his. no one else.
the doctor wants you to DEPEND on him, just like how yarnaby depends on him and obeys him like a God. he wants your pathetic self to see him as YOUR lifeline, as he purposefully brings the necessities you need such as food and medicines, his mechanical joints placing them gently next to you without saying anything. afterall, he needs his little lab rat on good condition to play with, no?
at times where he's not running any 'experiments' and 'games' on you, he always kept you inside of his lab—no contact is allowed without his permission. he'd occassionally let yarnaby roam around and get used up to your presence, but he won't let you or it get too attached to each other.
he barely speaks to you, his answers are either mockery or straight degradation. you never really ask him anything about his motives too, he never liked it when you were curious. "say, little rat, i'd be amused if you hadn't learn what happens to curious little rats who gets too nosy."
a little fun fact; the doctor can easily destroy you if he wanted to. he always lets you know through his grips—how he's controlling it steadilly, letting you know that if he puts just the littlest more effort into squeezing you, you'd have your bones crushed within seconds—and he makes sure that you always remember that at all times.
"now, little rat, go on and amuse me. let's see what else i can get out off you."
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reality-shitting · 2 days ago
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General realizations ab shifting that helped me
The void is not a realm or a place- it is YOU. You ARE the Void. The Void is solely the awareness of being, fully.
You are not ONE being. Think of the consciousness in you as being interconnected with all other infinite versions of you. These interconnections converge into your full consciousness, the true YOU. It's almost Eldritch to think about.
Something I'm just now thinking of, perhaps this means the subconscious is all other versions of you- you're separated and cut off from experiencing the entirety of being, but that entirety is still there, guiding you from behind the scenes.
No matter what the assumption, "I am" is true. I am kind, as my actions and thoughts show, but I'm also cruel and cold-hearted, as may be the perception of another. I think I'm funny, but someone else may think I'm cheesy- therefore, I am both. And this also goes for the personas of myself in other realities. I am everything. Simultaneously, this also means I am Nothing. I simply am.
To add to the points above, I believe this "Eldritch" conglomerate is what we call the Void state, and would explain why every manifestation happens instantly once we reach this state. Think of it like accessing the files in an infinite data base- all you need to do is find the files you're looking for and download them.
As much as people will try to stress things like "you need to let go" or realizing that shifting is easy, you won't truly be able to understand what they're saying until you experience it.
All things exist at once and every inconceivably small action creates a new reality. As small as "this single cell from 7000 years ago died .000000001 seconds prematurely", and smaller.
Shifting IS easy- in the same way that gleeking or stretching is easy. Some people are able to do it on command or go further than others with no training whatsoever. Others may do it accidentally and sporadically. This does not mean the latter are unable to do these things at will, but they simply need a bit of help learning to do it on command.
Question stressing you out? "But what about this plot hole?", "How does XYZ work??", "What will happen back in my OR???"- STOP. No need to stress yourself over that, this by itself I feel cost me years on my journey. Everything will work out. It doesn't matter how, but it will, and it will either even itself out or be in your favor. Don't even think about those things. Relax.
Another one that held me back MASSIVELY. Struggling to visualize your DR? "I know it has THIS SPECIFIC TABLE in this SPECIFIC place and everything has to be perfect"! No. Your visualization does Not need to be perfect. Nor does it have to be "accurate", really. Once you just let your mind wander and let your subconscious make up it's own layout, it'll help you slip in much more easily. I put so much pressure on myself to make sure I was visualizing my specific reality, and it became so much easier when I just trusted myself to build it up from my subconscious instead of "forcing" a look
They say once it's in the 4D (imagination), it's already real. That's why you're encouraged to embody, think, act, feel as your DR self. Like playing pretend as a kid, you'll be so focused on your imagination, you don't even realize you're in your OR. If you don't shift through that alone, it certainly helps make you feel far more connected. This is also why I came up with the Furina method (although I suppose it's debatable if I really "came up" with it)
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soeyekonic · 2 days ago
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— ✩♬ ₊˚. TE PERDÍ ⭑
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daniela avanzini x fem!reader
summary daniela messed up- badly. now, she’s standing in the rain, desperate to fix what she broke. but sometimes, wounds don’t heal, and some love stories don’t get second chances.
disclaimers: angst... because it's fun. cheater daniela (sorry), i used lizeth selene as a face claim, but there is no physical description in the fic, so you can imagine whoever!
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01. 25. 25 10:43 pm
"hey, y/n... it's me. again."
"i know you probably won't listen to this, but i just -fuck, i don't know. i don't even know why i keep calling. i just- i can't stop thinking about you."
"i messed up, i know that. but please, just call me back."
01. 27. 25 12:17 am
"saw your post today. you looked good... happy."
"i mean, i guess that's the whole point, right? you're moving on. you're showing me that you don't need me. but-"
" - i need you."
"please, y/n. just let me talk to you."
2:04 am
"you wanna know the worst part?"
"i wake up, every morning, reaching for you. i still sleep on my side of the bed like you're gonna walk in any second and crawl under the covers like you used to... like we didn't fuck everything up."
"like i didn't fuck everything up."
"just tell me how to fix it... please. tell me what to do. say anything. say you hate me... just... don't leave me in silence."
you stared at you phone, thumb hovering over the play button on the next voicemail. 4:38 am. you don't press it. you already knew what it would play.
another broken apology. another desperate plea.
you should've blocked her. you should've deleted these messages days ago.
but some part of you -maybe the part that still remembered how daniela used to whisper 'I love you' against you skin- couldn't bring yourself to do it.
not just yet.
a loud knock at the door made you jump, breaking you out of a trance.
you already knew who it was.
you debated ignoring it, letting her stand out there in the rain until she finally got the message. But you knew dani. you knew she wouldn't leave until she had her answer.
exhaling sharply, you opened the door.
and there she was.
daniela avanzini. drenched, from head to toe, rain dripping from her lashes. her hoodie, soaked through
but her eyes- they were what undid you the most.
they weren't cocky, weren't full of the usual cheeriness daniela held.
they were just...pleading.
"y/n..." her voice was hoarse- desperate. "please."
you didn't say anything.
daniela swallowed hard, shifting on her feet. "can i-just five minutes. that's all i'm asking."
you hesitated. but then stepped aside.
daniela entered, dripping water onto the floor, but neither of you seem to care. she was too focused on you- like she was scared you'd disappear if she looked away.
"i fucked up," daniela started, voice raw. "i know that. and i know i don't deserve a second chance, but i need you to hear me."
you crossed her arms. "fine."
daniela let out a shaky breath. "i was an idiot, okay? i thought... i thought i could have it all. you. the group. the late nights. the fans." her voice grew quieter. "the girls."
you clenched your jaw.
daniela noticed and stepped closer, eyes shining. "but it wasn't real. none of it was real, y/n. it was just- just...bullshit. and by the time i realized that, by the time i realized you were the only real thing i had -" she stopped, shaking her head. "it was too late."
you inhaled sharply. "you cheated on me, dani." the words cut through the air like a blade.
daniela flinched. "I know." her voice was barely a whisper. "but i need you to know that it didn't mean anything. that she didn't mean anything."
you scoffed. "and i'm supposed to believe that?"
daniela's face crumpled. "you're supposed to believe that i love you."
you looked away, blinking hard. "you don't do that to someone you love."
daniela exhaled shakily. "i was scared.
you chuckled, head snapped up. "of what?"
daniela ran a hand through her wet curls, frustration flashing across her face. "of getting too close. of needing you more than i should." her voice cracked. "and i did. i needed you. and i fucked it up because i was too stupid to realize that needing you wasn't a weakness-"
all you could do is stare at her.
daniela stepped forward, hesitantly, like she wasn't sure if she was still allowed to.
"i can be better. i want to be better. for you. for us." she swallowed hard. "just give me one more chance."
you let out a bitter laugh. "one more chance?" you shook your head. "do you know how many times i've given you one more chance? how many times i let the late-night texts slide? the flirting? the bullshit excuses?"
daniela's shoulders sank.
"i loved you, daniela" you whispered. "god, i loved you..." your voice wavered. "and all i ever wanted was for you to love me enough to choose me. just me."
daniela's breath hitched.
"but you didn't." you swallowed the lump in your throat. "and i'm not gonna be the girl who keeps waiting for you to figure it out."
daniela took a step forward, eyes shining with something desperate. "but i have figured it out." her voice was breaking now, cracking under the weight of it all. "i choose you, y/n. i choose you right now. please, don't let this be the end."
your eyes burned. you wanted to believe her.
gosh, you wanted to.
But you couldn't.
you had spent too many nights waiting. too many nights wondering if you was enough.
and you refuse to do it again.
you exhaled softly. "i can't daniela."
daniela sucked in a sharp breath, blinking rapidly. "y/n-"
"i can't," you repeated, firmer this time. "i won't."
daniela's face crumpled. for a second, she looked like she might argue again, like she might drop to her knees if it meant you would take her back.
but she didn't.
instead, she let out a slow, shuddering breath and nodded.
daniela glanced at the door, then back at you, memorizing you like it was the last time she'd ever see you.
because it was.
and when she finally turned and walked out, you didn't stop her.
you let the door close.
and outside, the rain kept falling.
and somewhere on your phone, another voicemail went unheard.
"i know i couldn't give you what you gave me”
���and even though i'm dying to have you here, i know i lost you... te perdí"
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a/n: te perdí was literally the best song from rebelde. netflix was messy for not putting it on spotify. also this is my first time writing a fic so please lmk how it was 😭🙏
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rebellum · 2 days ago
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Keep your meds that you take as-needed next to where you spend most of your time. Mine are in a drawer right next to my computer.
You're not supposed to store meds in the bathroom because it gets hot and humid in their during showers
If you only occasionally use a cane, get a fold-up one and always carry it in your backpack. You can take it out on public transit, even if you have a seat, so that people don't judge you for sitting down. This is especially important if you're someone socially perceived as a young man.
There's no shame in "giving in" to your illness. Do what you need to do. Eg if you're having intrusive thoughts about a certain object, you don't have to force yourself to practice resisting it or practice moving on from those intrusive thoughts. It's okay to just put it in the other room so that you don't think about it. You dont need to constantly practice resistance, you need to practice active compassion towards yourself.
You can fill a pill bottle with various OTC pills are carry that around in your bag. Like I have a mixed-pill bottle that has advil, naproxen, and Tylenol in it, rather than bottles of those all separately.
This is just general life advice: it's good to buy things that will make everyday life more enjoyable. I know this sounds like "well, DUH" but guys I got a mechanical keyboard for Christmas and it makes me SO happy to use my keyboard. Invest in making your daily tools constantly enjoyable and pretty. Things can be better than 'good enough'
You don't need to be someone else's inspiration. You dont need to be the one pushing societal boundaries. It's okay to do what you want or to hide your illness if that's what makes you feel the most safe and comfortable. [Relevance: I'm a trans POC with mental health issues. I am in a position where I could help to normalise 'weirdness' like stimming, counting out loud, and being open about intrusive thoughts and hallucinations. It would be good to do that, because I'm a fashionable young middle class feminine person, so it would help to remove the association of those behaviours with drug users and unhoused individuals. If those behaviours are more normalized it also helps those people, since they are then seen as doing fewer 'bad' things. But it's scary! I'm an openly trans poc! If i get mistaken for being high I could have to deal with police. I'm not in America, I'm not in as much danger as Black Americans are, but I'm still at a much increased risk of arrest and violence. It's okay if I want to keep my mental health issues and neurodivergence on the down-low and not be some sort of activist.]
I've been disabled for almost 29 years. Here's what I've learned.
Tablets sink and capsules float. Separate out your tablets and capsules when you go to take them. Tip your head down when taking capsules and up when taking tablets. Liquigels don't matter, they kinda stay in the middle of whatever liquid is in your mouth.
If your pill tastes bad, coat it with a bit of butter or margarine. I learned this from my mom, who learned it from a pharmacist.
Being in pain every day isn't normal. Average people experience pain during exceptional moments, like when they stub their toe or jam their finger in a door, not when they sit cross-legged.
Make a medical binder. Make multiple medical binders. I have a small one that comes with me to appointments and two big ones that stay at home, one with old stuff and one with more recent stuff.
Find your icons. Some of mine include Daya Betty (drag queen with diabetes), Stef Sanjati (influencer with Waardenburg syndrome and ADHD), and Hank Green (guy with ulcerative colitis who... does a bunch of stuff). They don't have to be disabled in the same way as you. They don't even have to be real people. Put their pictures up somewhere if you want; I've been meaning to decorate my medical binders with pictures of my icons.
Take a bin, box, bag, basket, whatever and fill it with items to cope with. This can be stuff for mentally coping like colouring books or play clay or stuff for physically coping like pain medicine or physio tape.
Decorate your shit! My cane for at home has a plushie backpack clip hanging from the end of the handle and my cane for going places is covered in stickers. All of my medical binders have fun scrapbooking paper on the outside. Sometimes, I put stickers and washi tape on my inhalers and pill bottles. I used my Cricut to decorate my coping bin with quotes from my icons, like "I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se" and "I need you to be angrier with that bell".
If a flare-up is making you unable to eat or keep food down, consider going to the ER. A pharmacist once told me that since my eye flares can make me so nauseous that I cannot eat, then I need to go to the hospital when that happens.
Cola works wonders for nausea. I have mini cans of Diet Pepsi in my coping bin.
Shortbread is one of the only things I can eat when nauseous. Giant Tiger sells individually-wrapped servings of shortbread around Christmas or the British import store sells them year-round. I also keep these in my coping bin.
Unless it violates a pain contract or something, don't be afraid to go behind your doctor's back to get something they are refusing you. I got my cardiologist referral by getting in with a different NP at my primary care clinic than who I usually saw. I switched from Seroquel to Abilify by visiting a walk-in.
If you have a condition affecting your abdomen in some way (GI issues, reproductive problems, y'know) then invest in track pants that are too big. I bought some for my laparoscopy over a year ago and they've been handy for pelvic pain days, too. I've also heard loose pants are good for after colonoscopies.
Do whatever works, even if it's weird. I've sat on the floor of the Eaton Centre to take my pills. I've shoved heating pads down my front waistband to reach my uterus.
High-top Converse are good for weak ankles. I almost exclusively wear them.
You can reuse your pill bottles for stuff. I use my jumbo ones to store makeup sponges and my long skinny ones to hold a travel-size amount of Q-Tips.
Just because your diagnostics come back with nothing, it doesn't mean nothing is wrong. Maybe you were checking the wrong thing, or the diagnostic tool wasn't sensitive enough. I have bradycardia episodes even though multiple cardiac tests caught nothing. I probably have endometriosis even though my gynecologist didn't see anything.
You can bring your comfort item to appointments, and it's generally a green flag when someone talks to you about it. I brought a Squishmallow turkey (named Ulana) to my laparoscopy and they had her wearing my mask when I woke up. I brought a Build-A-Bear cat (named Blinx) to another procedure and a nurse told me that everyone in the hall on the way to the procedure room saw him and were talking about how cute he was. Both of those ended up being positive experiences and every person who talked to me about my plushies was nice to me. If you don't feel comfortable having it visible to your provider during the appointment, you can hide it in your bag and just know it's there, or if you're in a video appointment, you can hold it below frame in your lap.
Get a small bucket, fill it with stuff, and stick it in your bed (if you have room for it). I filled a bucket with Ensure, juice boxes, oatmeal bars, lotion, my rescue inhaler, etc. in October 2023 in anticipation of my laparoscopy and I still have it in my bed as of January 2025.
If your disability impacts your impulse control (e.g. ADHD, bipolar disorder), you should consider setting limits around your spending -- no more than X dollars at a time, nothing online unless it's absolutely necessary, and so on. Or, run these purchases by someone you trust before committing to them; I use my BFF groupchat to help talk sense into myself when I buy stuff.
Feel free to add on what you've learned about disability!
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matteglaze · 3 days ago
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from your recent post-
omega shigaraki hcs?👀👀
Everyone thinks that Shigaraki is an alpha
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SHIGARAKI wears a scent suppressor, so when anyone first meets him they immediately assume he's an alpha— or a really bratty beta. Nobody thinks that the same male that wears his deceased family on his body is an omega.
Omegas are soft, obedient, sweet, and docile. The exact opposite of Shigaraki.
No one in their right mind assumes that he's an omega, of all things— but there are the little things he does that has you questioning his 'alpha' gender.
Frankly, he's very possessive over you, not in a relatively 'sweet' way, but in a 'if you get hurt I'll fucking kill you' way, which is contradictory in itself, but you're able to see his frenzied worry when you come back with blood all over you.
"What the fuck happened.." Shigaraki practically growls, scratching at the collar around his neck as he snarls your way.
You shrug, walking further into his room as you take a seat on his bed, "don't worry 'bout it boss"
Sometimes your laundry goes missing, or he calls you to his room to just stand there and do nothing while he plays video games, cursing at his teammates and smashing controller buttons when he gets practically frustrated.
With this being a common routine between you two, you've found yourself comfortable enough to lie down on his bed, deliberately scenting it as you do. Whether it's a show for dominance, because he's a supposed 'alpha', or another thing you don't really want to think too deeply about, you always find yourself doing it.
So, as he's busy playing, you watch from his shoulder. By the way his mouth twitches, and his tense shoulders relax, you can tell he's won.
"Ah, good job" you say it absent-mindlessly, still laying down on his bed as you read through a manga he's got laying around. Definitely not rated for children, but you're bored out of your mind.
As you continue reading through it, you miss the way Shigaraki practically preens at your praise; chest heaving as he bites down on his bottom lip. If anything, he would be wagging his tail by now if he had one.
After a prolonged silence, Shigaraki composes himself and turns to you, harsh glare in his eyes.
"Shut up"
It's said so out of the blue, you forget your previous comment, because you've been sitting in silence for at least 30 minutes.
"I didn't even say anything!" You huff, dropping the manga on his bed as you grumble.
All in all, I think Shigaraki himself wants to deny his omega gender. It's seen as weak in societies eyes, and Shigaraki is anything but weak. It's why he's so annoyed by you, and the way he feels about you.
It's probably because you're just an alpha, he reasons, but he knows that's not explicitly true.
That's why he denies himself of having you. He doesn't need a stuck up alpha that just thinks with it's dick— Shigaraki doesn't need anyone, no matter how much his omega practically whines for it.
Though, even though he dislikes you, he can't seem to leave you alone.
"Which one were you reading?" Shigaraki asks, not turning your way but continuing to state at his computer screen.
You scrunch your nose, picking up the disregarded manga and turning it over to see the cover, "...four knots and one girl"
"Ha, that's a good one"
"You'd think so, freakass"
"I'll dust you, watch your mouth."
"You won't do shit." As you say that, you release some of your pheromones, and it's not a big deal (at least not to you). It's common for alpha's do it with other alpha's, a playful way to assert dominance than the more violent manners. A common occurrence between two alpha friends.
Though, Shigaraki is not an alpha. And he definitely doesn't want to be your friend.
So the moment he gets a whiff of your scent, your pure scent— not the scent he gets from your clothing, his mind turns hazy.
The smell of cedar wood and patchouli fills his vision.
"... Wha—whatever..." Shigaraki mumbles, scratching at his collar more feverantly.
He's so affected by your scent, that he can't help but to think about how you'd act if he took his scent suppressor off. How would you react to his omega scent?
Would you like his smell? Would it fill and cloud your mind like yours does his? Would you lose control?
The scratching doesn't stop, if anything, it gets worse.
Shigaraki almost wants to take his collar off— to see you lose your control this time. But he refrains himself, just barely.
The scratching still doesn't cease.
It's so aggressive, you can't help but look up from your position on your bed, a worried frown settled between your brows and on your mouth.
"Stop that."
You don't even mean it as a command, really, you just didn't want him damaging his skin as much as he does; Shigaraki treats it as a command.
His hand immediately freezes in place, and your fascinated as you watch his frozen hand stiffly return to his side.
Obediently.
Like a good little omega listening to their alpha.
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the blood is not readers of I just forgot to add that in
unedited
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mameillieureennemie · 3 days ago
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i decided on angst. 😞
fwb!vi x reader
summary: you and vi are friends with benefits. so why does it feel more than that now?
the sun sets low, dipping behind the horizon and colouring the world in warm hues. it throws oranges through the window, made into stripes by partially opened blinds, and it's all so...peaceful.
simple.
you stare out the window at the city beyond, take in the skyline as it slowly starts to shimmer. it's coming alive; just in time to greet those who favour the night's darkness. you wonder if you could be drawn out; your friends have been dying to take you to a classy restaurant downtown.
all dressed up in glittery dresses, sloping silhouettes, and too-high heels reveal pain-tinged regret far too late.
still, you could be tempted.
but.
"you okay, sweetness?" vi says from behind, her arms finding their home around your waist. she pulls you in until no space can possibly exist between your back and her chest. her chin hooks over your shoulder, perfectly like a puzzle piece, and it really makes you think.
"i'm fine," you assure her, resting your hands over hers, because you are fine. better than you've felt in days, perhaps. you can't really pinpoint why, but deep down, you know. you're just unsure if you want to accept the reason. "i was thinking about going out tonight. there's this new restaurant my friends want us to try. very fancy; pretty sure you need a reservation."
"aren't you friends with mel medara and caitlyn kiramman?" vi teases, and you can't help but laugh. you see what she's aiming for, and of course, you'd never have to make a reservation for anywhere high brow in the city.
"your point?" you ask, just because you can, and yelp when vi nips at your neck's curve. "hey—!"
vi shushes you. "easy, princess," she murmurs, and you fall at ease. only because you want to. not because vi's voice can command you to do almost anything, especially when it's still a little sleep-heavy, a little hoarse around the edges. "if you want to go out, we can. i was kinda thinking we'd stay in. order some food and watch something funny."
you try not to focus on how vi said we instead of you. you try not to focus on how that made your heart skip.
you keep your eyes on the darkening skyline, noting how the lights in the buildings shine like stars. your throat feels dry; it almost hurts to swallow. there's so much running through your mind right now, so much that makes you want to turn around and go:
this isn't a part of the deal.
this isn't supposed to happen.
all of this is dangerously verging into a—
"i'd like that," you say quietly, already dooming your heart to a tragic end. you take bitter solace in the smile vi presses into your skin, it almost makes you feel sick. but you don't pull away when she turns you in her arms. you don't draw back when she leans in to kiss you.
you don't place a hand on her chest and say what you should say.
we agreed this wouldn't be more than sex.
but vi's mouth is the sweetest nectar you've tasted, highly addictive and forever on your lips. she draws you in until you're back on the bed, underneath her as you surrender to her touch.
the skyline's fully alight by the time you're both sat on the couch, watching some sitcom. you're freshly showered, curled up together with forks digging into take-out cartons.
vi laughs loudly at something on the screen, eyes closed and mouth wide. she's got some sauce at the corner of her mouth, and she's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen and...
no.
you can't do this.
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zorosangell · 1 day ago
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I'm shocked at the lack of wano zoro fics involving a geisha reader tbh??? I'd expected to find more but there's NONE ... or atleast not ones that isn't your fic
but oh my goddd that geisha reader & zoro fic was beautiful but imagine after komurasaki allegedly dies orochi finds reader to be his new little personal geisha and inviting (demanding) her to come to onigashima with him n zoro poorly receiving the news that'd be funny I think,
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⛥゚・。 stupid
synopsis: part two of oiran -- zoro starts an argument over you going undercover as orochi's personal oiran. and it ends... interestingly.
cw: fluffy fluff, microscopic angst ig, zoro don't play about you, reader is just a girl (just like me fr), kinda suggestive
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"No way in hell," Zoro denied, not even giving the matter a second thought. "We'll figure something else out."
"Zoro, please... think of Kin'emon... think of Momo."
"I'm thinking of you. And how stupid this plan is."
"It's not stupid."
"Coulda fooled me."
Your brows flattened, growing annoyed with his stubbornness.
'Forgot how much of an ass he can be...'
"Zo', you're being unreasonable," you crossed your arms over your chest, eyes narrowing slightly.
"Oh, I'm being unreasonable?" he cocked a brow, letting out a sarcastic laugh before stepping out the way of the door. "Then by all means, please go."
You smiled, surprised by the sudden change of heart.
"Really?"
"No!" he exclaimed, incredulously, eyes widened by the fact that you actually believed him. "Christ, (y/n), you might as well send yourself gift wrapped with a bow!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"I'm talking about you!" he groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Look at yourself, (y/n)! You're what guys like Orochi dream about. A gorgeous, dolled-up oiran dropped right on his doorstep for the taking."
You paused a moment, processing his statement.
In preparation for your arrival to the Flower Capital—a trip you were already supposed to be well on your way on—you'd fixed your rain-ruined makeup and changed into new kimono, which you'd tucked away in the safe-house in the earlier days of your mission.
You also touched-up your hair, adorning your... everything with jewelry and ornate pins to make yourself look like an oiran fit for shogun.
Much to Zoro's displeasure.
But you weren't concerned with that.
What you were concerned with... was the last part of his statement.
"You think I'm gorgeous?"
Zoro's breath hitched, a crimson flush rising from his neck to his cheeks, and only intensifying as you stalked closer.
"I...! Well...! You...!" he stammered, slowly backing away while you pressed forward, until his back hit the soft wood of the door. "Quit tryna change the subject!"
"Okay~" you flashed a cheeky smile, moving even closer until your chest was pressed against his, forcing you to look up at him with innocent, doe eyes.
"And quit looking at me like that!"
"Like what, Zo'? Why can't I look at my handsome swordsman?" you cooed.
"'Cause I know you're trying to butter me up. And it's not gonna work," he deadpanned, crossing his arms.
"Dammit, Zoro! I can take care of myself!" you groaned, annoyed that your seduction had failed. "Why won't you let me do this? It's for the mission!"
"Damn the mission! I don't give a shit! Think about yourself for a second, (y/n)!"
You flinched slightly at his volume, and were quick to clam up.
Of course, he noticed this, and took a moment to reign himself back in, taking in a deep inhale through his nose.
"What do you think Orochi wants with you? What reason could a man like him possibly have for asking for you by name? He only wants one thing, (y/n)!"
"And you'd think I'd give it to him?!" you scoffed, incredulously, knowing exactly what he was talking about, and feeling offended by the insinuation.
"Men like him don't ask! They don't care about boundaries, and they don't take no for an answer!"
"So now you think I can't fend for myself?"
"I think you wouldn't have to if you just didn't go all together! I've spent time in the Flower Capital and these guys are nothing like the small fry you were dealing with in the country! They do whatever it takes to get what they want! And I'd rather not fuck up everything the crew has worked for by having to cut down the goddamn shogun for putting his hands on you!"
You faltered a moment, surprised, and he took the opportunity to grab you by the shoulders, pulling you closer until you both were flush against each other, and his lips only a breath away from yours.
"I don't think you understand that I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because I let you go and do something reckless," he stated, significantly calmer, though not without his firm tone. "You're not some sacrificial lamb, or a soldier for a better cause. You're a member of this crew... my right hand... and I'd..."
He faltered a moment, another flush of crimson rising to his cheeks.
"Be pretty inconvenienced if you didn't come back."
You raised a silent brow, a small smirk rising to your lips that said 'Really?'
He scoffed, avoiding eye contact.
"You get the idea."
With a playful roll of your eyes, you leaned forward, pressing a feather-light kiss to his lips.
He froze, turning stiff as a board as you rested your hands on his chest, before carefully pulling away.
"I get the idea."
With a slight sigh of relief, his shoulders sank, and his index and thumb came up to lift your chin, forcing you to look at him.
"So... no Orochi?"
You nodded, dutifully, the sight causing a certain stir within the swordsman's undergarments.
"No Orochi."
At that, he smiled, genuinely pleased.
Before anything—before Wano, before the Akazaya, before any old daimyo—your safety was Zoro's utmost priority.
And he'd be damned if he let anyone, even the fucking shogun himself, lay a single finger on you.
Using his distraction against him, you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, swirling you both around before tackling him to the ground.
"(y/n)?! What are you—?!"
You placed a finger to his lips, the devilish look in your eyes forcing him to swallow thickly.
"If I can't do what I wanna do... then we're just gonna have to find another way to occupy our time..."
Slowly, but intently, you began to tug off your robes and sashes, your eyes not leaving his for a moment as you stripped.
And as day turned to night, and then night turned to day, and then day turned to night again, Zoro only had on thing on his mind.
Especially with you resting on his chest in a spent pile of sweat and bliss.
'This woman... is going to be the death of me...'
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wendichester · 2 days ago
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𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 late night distractions,
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summary. you're supposed to be researching, but sam is distracted by you.
pairing. sam winchester x reader
wordcount. 464
notes. slightly smutty ; mdni!
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The library is dead silent, the kind of quiet that settles deep in your bones. Tall shelves loom over you, casting long shadows in the dim light of a single desk lamp. Dusty old books are stacked between you and Sam, research materials for the case you’re supposed to be working on.
But Sam isn’t reading.
Not really.
He’s looking at you.
“You’re supposed to be reading about ghosts,” you murmur without glancing up, flipping a page, “not looking at me like that.”
His chair creaks as he shifts, and when you finally glance at him, his lips curve into something lazy, something dangerous.
“Can’t help it,” he says, voice low and smooth. “You’re a little distracting.”
You smirk, tilting your head. “Distracting how?”
His eyes darken, flickering down to where your fingers absentmindedly toy with the edge of a page, slow and teasing. The air between you shifts, thickens.
“You know how,” he murmurs.
Your pulse skips.
A beat passes, and then you push your chair back, standing up slowly. Sam watches you like a predator watches prey, heat pooling in his gaze. When you round the table and perch on the edge beside him, he leans back in his chair, legs spreading just enough to make room for you.
“You’re the one who brought me here to work,” you remind him, nudging his knee with yours.
He hums, tilting his head up to look at you, and something about the way he does it—the slow drag of his gaze, the way his hands flex on his thighs—makes your stomach twist.
“Guess I didn’t think it through,” he murmurs.
You bite your lip, and Sam’s gaze flickers down, tracking the movement with precision.
Then his hands find your waist, fingers curling around you as he tugs you into his lap in one fluid motion.
A quiet gasp slips from your lips, but before you can tease him for being impatient, his mouth is on yours—hot, insistent, claiming. His hands are everywhere, sliding up your back, fingers tangling in your hair as he tilts your head to deepen the kiss.
You whimper against him, and he groans in response, gripping your hips tighter. You can feel him beneath you, hard and ready, and when you shift just slightly, rolling your hips against him, he exhales sharply through his nose.
“Tease,” he mutters against your lips.
You grin, breathless. “Guilty.”
He moves fast, flipping you onto the table in one swift motion, books scattering to the floor.
“You’re gonna pay for that,” he murmurs, dragging his mouth down your neck, hands already pushing beneath your shirt.
And as the library remains silent except for the rustle of fabric and the sounds you can’t hold back, research is the last thing on either of your minds.
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want be part of the taglist.ᐣ ⋆.˚ ★— @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing ⋆ @deans-daydream ⋆ @ariasong11 ⋆ @ambiguous-avery ⋆ @itsdearapril ⋆ @whereiwakewarm ⋆ @nymphet-quenn ⋆ @bluemerakis ⋆ @titsout4jackles ⋆ @hauntedrose555 ⋆ @chevroletdean ⋆ @dulcescorderitas ⋆ @blackmarketfruitrollups ⋆ @impala67rollingthroughtown ⋆ @nervoussystemss ⋆ @daryls-luvrr ⋆ @defnot-svnshine ⋆ @sunnyteume ⋆ @drakelover78 ⋆ @angelblqde ⋆ @mostlymarvelgirl ⋆ @whisperingdaze ⋆ @bossyblondie ⋆ @iluvnewtie ⋆ @dyhsversion
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azzifuddfanpage · 2 days ago
Note
can you do fluff fic of based on today. so azzi had a bad game and paige texts her to see if she’s ok but azzi doesn’t respond so paige goes to azzi’s room and finds her on her bed crying. So paige comforts her and they cuddle
My Rock
——— Thank you for the prompt!!               just a short lil fic to tide you guys over (it’s 3 am right now so I’m sorry if this is bad) ———
711 words       themes: fluff/ gfs/ paige taking care of Azzi after bad game ———
        ——9:48pm——
P💗: hey baby how u feelin?
          I know it was a rough game it wasn’t your fault tho they were defending you really hard from the 3 point line.
                             ———10:03pm———
P💗: Azzi? 
          Az are you good 
          answer me??
                             ———10:22pm———
P💗: alr sweet girl I’m coming 
———-
Paige doesn’t even have to wait for a response before she knows how Azzi is feeling.
Coming back from an Acl tear and than injuring herself again not even 4 games later was another blow to Azzi’s confidence.
Now here she was having to rebuild her confidence for the second time that month.
Paige knew Azzi was probably home curled up under her blanket, endlessly scrolling through twitter listening to people talk about how she will never be the player she was before.
Azzi had faced so much adversity, but as an athlete she was never able to appreciate the talent she did have.
Every good game was filled with her critiquing some aspect of the game.
“I’m a supposed to be the best shooter on the team, yet I was shooting under 43%.” Azzi would tell her as she left for the gym at 11 pm.
Paige new when Azzi was like this their was no talking her out of it.
After checking Azzi’s location, she knew at least this time, Azzi was safe at home in bed.
Before walking over to Azzi’s dorm, paige drove out to target to pick up some things to cheer Azzi up.
She roamed the isles, grabbing her favorite snacks; Nutella and strawberries (paige’s favorite as well). And a cute Olaf blanket she saw. 
As she was leaving her eyes focused on a huge Valentine’s Day card.
She opened it up laughing to herself, valentines wasn’t for 2 months and stuff was already up.
“I only want to imagine my life with you in it.
               You're everything to me!
                  Happy Valentine's Day
                   To My Love”
Paige smirked and tucked it under her arm, and walked over to self checkout.
She knew Azzi was a sucker for gifts like that and paige loved when Azzi snuggled up to her in appreciation.
Paige also stppped at chipotle on the way home, having her order down by memory.
As she pulled back into their dorm building, paige made sure to be quiet when she keeps into Azzi’s suite.
When she opened the door to Azzi’s bedroom, she immediately noticed the Azzi sized lump under the covers
Paige used her phone flashlight to navigate over to the younger girl, placing the bag of goodies onto her bedside table.
“Baby” Paige said tugging the comforter down to reveal Azzi’s tear streaked face.
Azzi pouted up at her, her big doe eyes rimmed with red from her tears, and her lips puffy from crying.
Paige didn’t say anything, she just climbed into bed and pulled Azzi close to her chest, running a finger through her hair and pulling it out of her face, kissing her cheek softly.
Paige listened as Azzi’s soft whimpers filled the silent room, the sound of her girlfriend crying was the worst sound Paige could hear. 
She knew not to bring it up until tomorrow when she had had time to rest and think on it, so instead, Paige’s arm remained wrapped around Azzi’s waist, and her other hand rubbing small circles on her back.
Azzi’s sobs slowed to just sniffles as paige’s presence nautrually soothed her.
Paige held her closely, feeling comfort as the sniffles turned into soft snores.
Page sat up a little, leaning forward so she could revel in her girlfriend’s sleeping figure, so vulnerable and inncocent, her lips and eyes puffy from crying.
Staring at Azzi, all paige wanted was to take away any sort of pain Azzi faced.
If paige could give Azzi her knee she would, if paige could give her the confidence she would, if paige could give Azzi her ability to not overthink she would. Paige would give Azzi the world if she could. 
Paige leaned forward and brushed a curl that had fallen infront of Azzi’s face, away from her sleepy eyes, and placed a soft kiss on her forehead so she wouldn’t wake her.
Tomorrow she would pick up the pieces, tonight she would be her rock. 
157 notes · View notes
organic-bloodbath · 2 days ago
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Mingle - Part 2
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Thanos x Reader
Summary: Thanos wants to protect you at all cost and has to choose whether to continue the game or take you back home. Getting to know you better, the answer is simple.
A/N: More angsty than the first part and doesn't follow the show's plot anymore. Thank you so much for all the likes on the first part, i didn't imagine it getting so many notes 🫶🏻 I wasn't sure which way to take this story, but he's 100% obsessed and in love with her.
☆☆☆
You were holding your tray, about to go to your usual spot to eat with your team and following Dae-ho in front of you but you stopped. You looked over Thanos, seeing him by himself.
"I'll see you later," you said to Dae-ho who looked confused. "I'll go sit with Thanos tonight."
"Thanos?" Dae-ho repeated, making sure he heard you correctly. "Why would you-"
You turned around and left, not wanting to answer to any other questions Dae-ho would ask you about your sudden interest to spend time with Thanos. Mostly, because you didn't know what to say.
Why? Because he just saved you a moment ago? You weren't sure if that was the only reason or not, you had to go over to him and figure it out yourself.
When you arrived to the bunk where Thanos was sitting and already eating his food, his eyes lit up.
"Is the invite still open?" you asked awkwardly, afraid that he had been only joking earlier about asking you to join him.
"For you, of course," he said, smiling, and pat the empty space next to him on the mattress. "I saved a seat for you."
You gave him a little smile and sat on that specific spot.
"For a second i thought you had changed your mind," he said, chewing his food.
"Oh, well, i wasn't sure if you truly meant it," you admitted, avoiding his eyes at first. "But then i saw you sitting alone. Why aren't you with your friends anyway?"
"I figured you'd just get uncomfortable with them," he shrugged. "And i wanted to be alone with you, even if just for a moment."
You felt your cheeks turning red. "Why?"
He gently put his hand on your chin and turned your head to look at him.
"I want go get to know you better, pretty flower," he smiled, making you turn even more red and you immediately turned your head away, the nickname making you feel funny inside once again.
"Oh," was the only sound you managed to breathe out.
"You know, from the day one i've tried to approach you but you've been ignoring me quite well," he pointed out. "You could add it on your resume as one of your skills."
"Oh, i mean," you said nervously. "I'm not used to guys trying to get close to me before, so i really didn't think much of it."
"Not used to it?" Thanos asked, acting dramatic and overly shocked, putting his hand against his chest and not believing what he was hearing. "You're that gorgeous and guys haven't gone after you? You're lying."
"Stop it," you chuckled and the smile lingered on your lips longer than before. "Maybe i just can't take a hint very easily."
"Well, tell me something about you?" Thanos asked and thought about something for a while. "Hmm, what's your favorite type of flower?"
"Flower?"
"It's for our future date, i need to make sure i'll get you something you like," he explained. "I don't want to get you roses if you don't like roses."
"Oh, well, i don't really know. Nobody ever got me flowers before," you said, the blush sticking on your cheeks like a glue. "I suppose orchids and lilies are pretty."
"I'll keep that in mind," he nodded.
His words made you feel nice and get butterflies in your stomach, but you really didn't understand what his intentions truly were. You hadn't had many guys to show interest on you before, if any, so you had been used to the fact that you might just stay alone.
You continued your conversation and lost the track of time completely. You asked about his life as a rapper and what his life goals were in the music industry, since that was really the only thing you knew about him outside these games before now talking with him. He asked about your hobbies and in general about your interests - you could sense that he was considering to include some of them to your "date" he had mentioned.
Eventually he changed the subject to the one that you would have prefered to leave alone. The one you hadn't truthfully told even to Dae-ho or Gi-hun yet.
"So, how did you end up here?" Thanos asked. "You know, debts and all."
"Well, i wouldn't want to bother you with that. It's pretty depressing," you said after being quiet for a moment, twirling the rest of your food with your fork. You were a little nervous to open up to him about it now that you were having a nice conversation, him making you even laugh here and there. But for some reason, you had started to become more comfortable around him and able to talk more freely.
"I'd be glad to hear it, if you want to share," Thanos said, encouraging you to tell him, but only if you were comfortable with it.
"Oh, well," you sighed. "The main reason i came here was because my little brother has cancer." You took a deep breath to get the words properly out of your mouth. It was already hard to think about and even harder to talk about it without crying. You tried to say the words as fast as you could, otherwise they would be stuck in your throat. "We don't have money for his treatments, my mom doesn't earn a lot from her work, and if we don't start treating it soon, he will die."
You were looking at your lap, scared to glance back at Thanos. You were feeling your eyes becoming wet and you were afraid you'd start to cry in front of him. He was quiet for a while, speechless. He hadn't been prepared for you having such a heavy reason to be here.
"How old is your brother?" Thanos asked softly.
"He's just 11," you answered and felt tears rising up into your eyes. You hated talking about this because even a single thought of losing your brother broke you. You wiped a tear off your face as soon as it had appeared out of your eye.
"I'm sorry," you chuckled, trying to force yourself to lighten up. "I didn't mean to ruin the moment."
"No, no you didn't ruin anything, it's okay," he assured you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "I'm sorry i made you bring it up."
You buried your face on his shoulder.
"I just want to get back home, i don't care how much money i'll get and if it's enough to cover everything," you mumbled. "I just have to go and take care of my brother."
You stayed like that for a while, Thanos comforting you the best he could. Now, the need to protect you at any cost grew even stronger.
☆☆☆
It was time to vote, whether you'd want to stay and play the games or go home with the money earned by far.
Thanos was having mixed feelings. Personally, he would have of course continued the game and played for more money - the current amount wasn't enough to cover all his debts. One more game, that was what had been going on in Thanos' head.
One more game.
But when he turned to look at you, standing further away from him with your group, your gaze stuck on the floor, looking anxious - he felt something sting and break his heart.
Every day here was a new possibility to die. None of you knew what tomorrow's game was, it was always a total surprise until you started playing it.
What if the game tomorrow would be too hard for you and you wouldn't make it? Thanos couldn't live with himself anymore if he had decided to continue the game and survived, but you lost your life, as would your brother.
Player 230.
Thanos stood in front of the two buttons, gaze jumping between them. Before getting to know you, his choice would have been simple. But now?
"Player 230," the pink guard in front of Thanos said, he hadn't realised how long he had been standing there doing nothing. "Please make your choice."
Eventually, against all the odds, Thanos pressed the red button, giving one more point to the X team. He glanced towards Nam-gyu who looked at Thanos like he couldn't believe his eyes what he was seeing. Thanos ignored him and walked to the red side, appearing next to you.
"Told you i'll get you home, pretty flower," Thanos whispered to you.
You looked at him like you were sure you were seeing things. Being here had finally made you to hallucinate. Surely he hadn't chosen to go home only because of you, he couldn't be that attached to you already.
"But you still needed a lot more money," you pointed out, furrowing your eyebrows. You would have understood if he wanted to and chose to stay. You weren't a burden he had to bear.
"And i'll find a way to pay my debts on my own," Thanos answered.
The waiting felt like it took forever. There weren't that many players left anymore, but it felt like everything was happening twice slower than in reality.
Finally, after the last player had voted, you looked at the scores and you felt like your entire world was slowing down even more and you weren't able to get air into your lungs.
The situation was 50-51. The 'O' team won yet again. You wanted to break down and cry, right then and there. When you had seen Thanos approaching you with the red patch on his jacket, somehow you were sure that this time you were going home, as if the decision was depending purely on him.
If just two more people would have voted for X, you'd be on your way home. But no, you had to stay for another game.
"I'm sorry," Thanos said and held your hand, looking genuinely concerned. "I really am."
"It's fine," was all you said until you walked back to your bunk without sparing a single glance at anyone else.
☆☆☆
Laying on your bed on your side you weren't able to sleep. You only stared ahead of you, feeling hopeless. You wanted out of this place so badly and the voting tonight had given you way too much false hope that this could actually be over soon, just to be completely crushed.
You sat up and wiped the tears off your face, trying to calm yourself so you'd be able to sleep atleast a little bit.
You were thinking about your little brother. He deserved so much more, had his entire life ahead of him. If you were able to take his cancer to you, you would take it any day and let him live. What if he had passed away during your stay here? What if you'd go back home and meet only your mother who had been crying for days and refused to eat, sleep or do anything?
You had to bite your lip to keep the sobs inside you, afraid you'd wake up the people sleeping near you.
"Can't sleep huh?" Thanos whispered, you didn't look at him. You had seen him approaching from the corner of your eye, even though you hadn't fully turned to look at him. "Listen," he continued and took your hand in his. "I'm going to make sure you'll get out of here, okay?"
"And how are you going to do that?" you scoffed, accidentally letting out a single sob. "You don't even know the next game."
He sat down on the bed with you and took your hand in his. He didn't know how he could comfort you.
"I don't, but i'll do whatever i can to get you home," he said and tried to give you a comforting smile. "I'll protect you, no matter what, and when the votings come, i'm absolutely sure that we'll get to leave this place."
"What are you going to do? Cheat the system?"
"If i have to," he smirked. He hesitated for a second until lifted his hand to wipe the remaining tears off your cheek.
☆☆☆
It was time for the next game. You arrived into a room which had four shapes on one of the walls.
The same symbols as in playing cards.
♤♡◇♧
The game was called Dalgona. It was exactly the same game Gi-hun had talked to you about in the beginning when he had thought Dalgona must be the second game like three years ago. Only the shapes had now changed.
The reason why they had suddenly brought dalgona back to this year was unclear to you. Unclear to everybody. By now everyone had thought that only the first game was the same and they had changed the rest of them to new ones.
Players were commanded to line up in front of one of the shapes, chosen by their own will. Gi-hun immediately told you to choose the diamond, it would be the easiest one.
Thanos let you go for the diamond, but he chose the heart, even though you insisted that he'd take the diamond too.
"Come on, it's not that much harder, i'll be fine," he assured you with a smile, as if it wasn't a big deal.
If you were going to die just because you accidentally cracked a wrong piece of a cookie off, that would be super embarrassing to explain in a funeral. Although, dying here you wouldn't even get a funeral.
You sat down on the floor, legs crossed, and the time started running down, one second at a time. You took the needle in your shaky hands and carefully started carving the lines of the shape, afraid to press too hard and crack the cookie in half any minute.
One thing you were afraid as well was when someone would be shot, your hand would accidentally slip due to the loud noise and make you fail too.
Thanos took quick glances at you once in a while, to make sure you were still sitting there. His hands were sweating and his heart beating fast.
The only sounds during the game were only the gunshots and the voice announcing which players had just been eliminated. You flinched each time, even though you had tried to prepare yourself for that.
This wasn't a game where Thanos would be able to help you and he hated it. On the first game, he had protected you by running in front of you. On the second game, you had other players in your group to help you. On the third game, he had saved you by taking you to a room with him when you had been left all alone.
Now, you were all on your own, he wasn't able to say a single word for you, you all had to stay quiet and only concentrate on your own task. He didn't think you were weak, not at all, he just needed to be there as a backup plan, ready to catch and save you if something went wrong.
Thanos was afraid he'd crack the cookie any second. If he was to die now, there would be one person less to vote for X and get you back home, though he couldn't know how many people from the blue side would be killed today.
He wasn't sure when had been the moment when he had decided that protecting you had become his number one priority. It just naturally came to him.
On the distance, Thanos saw one player to use a lighter to heat up the needle and then poke the cookie. By the looks of her face, she was subtly looking around her to see if the guards were watching her. He only had the pills inside his cross and they weren't much of a help for him right now.
Thanos was glad that you had chosen the easiest shape and not spades or clubs. He did believe in you and was sure to see you alive on the other side.
His heart stopped when he cracked a small piece off from the tip of the heart when he had completed the task. It was only a very tiny piece and the cookie still looked like a complete heart, but he didn't know how detailed and harsh the system was here. Thanos saw a guard approaching him and showed the heart to him, hiding the slightly broken tip with his finger as he held it up.
Pass.
Thanos let out a breath of relief, being able to breathe again properly. He didn't know why, but that was one of the most stressful games by far.
You were still carving yours as Thanos walked outside, but you weren't far behind. Just barely 20 seconds later, you had finished your task as well.
Pass.
☆☆☆
"Señorita, excuse me," Thanos said, making you stop before you managed to go and talk to Dae-ho, who had finished the challenge before you. Thanos was standing closer than you had expected, though he had seen you first.
"Yes, señor?" you said back sarcastically.
"I have a gift for you," he smiled.
"A gift?"
"I'll give you my heart if you'll let me have yours, after this is all over," he said, genuine kindness in his eyes.
"What are you on about?" That was such a cheesy and odd line to say out of nowhere, but it did make your heart skip a beat.
"When we get home tomorrow, i'll take you out soon, after you've seen your brother."
"How are you so sure we'll get home? People might vote to stay."
"Have a little bit hope, pretty flower."
He took your hand in his, you didn't resist.
"Keep this safe for me, okay?" he said and put something in your hand, closing your fist around it. Then, he left without another word.
You opened your hand, seeing the heart he had carved out from the cookie laying on your palm.
☆☆☆
The fourth game had eliminated only 29 players in total, so there was 72 left.
Thanos tried to count the players how many of them had blue patches and red patches on their jackets, but he lost count and wasn't sure if he had counted some people twice or not at all.
Thanos went to the bathroom where he found his former group.
"Well, well, well, look who it is," Nam-gyu slowly said and crossed his arms on his chest. He had three other guys around him, one of them Min-su. "Coming back to us after betraying us like that? I think not."
He stepped closer to Thanos.
"Sorry to say, but i don't think you're welcome anymore."
"I don't give a shit about you, Nam-su," Thanos said and didn't care to hear him trying to correct Thanos for saying his name wrong again. "Tonight, you better all vote for X or tomorrow i may not be in as good mood as right now, seeing you," Thanos said loudly and then glanced at Min-su, who still had the blue patch on his jacket. Thanos walked towards him and trapped him between himself and a wall. Thanos tried to change the expression on his face to more kind and sweet. "You'll do that for me, right Min-su?"
Thanos gave him a sweet smile, but Min-su hesitated without a word, both Nam-gyu and Thanos looking at him. Min-su wasn't entirely sure which side was safer for him to choose.
"What's up with you anyway? Don't tell me that woman has gotten into your head this badly. I'm not going home yet when there's more money to be earned."
"You can earn your money elsewhere," Thanos stated, gritting his teeth.
"Seriously, dude. I get that she's hot but-"
"One more word and you'll lose a tooth," Thanos threatened, pointing at him with his finger.
To be honest, Thanos wasn't sure how he had fallen so hard for you in such a little time. He had never been so smitten about a woman before, but there was something different about you, and he needed to know you better, no matter what he had to do to achieve it.
☆☆☆
The votings came and this time, it was easier for him to press X than last time. The money he had earned by far wasn't enough for his debts, but he'd figure it out how to get the rest when you had managed to get out of here.
Both of you had now voted and were only waiting for the result. Thanos glanced at you and you looked like you were going to be sick. He took your hand in his, making you jump a little bit for the sudden touch, but you let your fingers wrap between his. He gave you a comforting squeeze.
Internally, Thanos felt terrified. What if he had only given you false promises and you'd have to stay for the fifth game again? You were so broken yesterday that he didn't think he'd be able to see the same look on your face again this fast. You would definitely lose any trust you still might have for his words, not believe anything he would say to you anymore.
You hid your eyes with your left hand, not wanting to watch how the scores were changing and how much X was losing to O.
Then, all the votes were in and for a moment Thanos' heart stopped by looking at the score.
37-35.
"Y/N," Thanos whispered, finally using your real name and not only the nickname he had chosen, and brushed your left hand as a sign to let it drop from your face. "You can look now."
When you saw the scores on the broad, your knees felt so weak that you had to cling on Thanos' jacket not to fall on the floor. He wrapped his arm around your waist, and you broke down in tears.
"Oh my god," you laughed between the tears. "Thanos. Oh my god."
You wrapped your arms around his neck, startling Thanos at first how you pressed your body against his, but he wrapped his arms around you securely. Surprisingly, a hint of red was rising on his cheeks, along with a smile.
"I can go back home," you said against his jacket.
You pulled back and without thinking, you pressed a light kiss on Thanos' cheek.
"Thank you."
"So," Thanos lingered and took your hands in his. "I'll pick you up on Saturday?"
You bit your lip. "Okay."
☆☆☆
A/N: I'm not sure what i think about this compared to the first part, but i hope you liked it 🫶🏻
Tags:
@justsisse
@septywitch
156 notes · View notes
gangstalkerbarbie · 20 hours ago
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This being tumblr, for my own wellbeing I have to explicitly put forth that we disagree about the draft (I think a country that needs to draft should impose national service on all young adults without discrimination, I would have gone to war by now if my family had let me and I don't think that was my family's business).
Having said that: we probably agree that the thing is also that actually... they don't? Young women Don't intrinsically smell like that. No kind of human juvenile does. I was a teenage girl once and I raised my brothers and some of my cousins, I would know.
There is an oaty, warm, milky baby smell everyone has, especially concentrated around their hair whorl, but they grow out of it at puberty. If you've ever lived with an intact male or female animal and watched them go through puberty, you'll notice they lose the baby smell then too.
So at least we can rule out that he's a threat to literal children.
But like teenagers? Teenagers stink. There's not a special creamy buttery teenage smell for any sex of teenager, it's just that girls are pushed more to cover their hormonal teenager stink.
What do they cover it with? Perfume. Immoderate amounts of the stuff.
Due to the vagaries of culture (and how disgustingly normative just like outright pedophilia used to be in many places), a majority of little girl perfumes (so the ones you're supposed to grow out of around, say, 28) smell like buttery vanilla and suchlike. Edible sugary dainty fluffy smells, Shirley Temple kind of smells, aren't you just a sweet little thing, Daddy wants to eat you up.
These are the smells he's conditioned himself to find sexually irresistible. Again, adult women are often pressured not to wear them...
Not that he'll ever see this on a recycled post about him on a site he isn't remotely on, but I'm saying this for the benefit of the teens likely to find me from the Homestuck tag: they should prevent this guy from hanging out near high schools. He's both rapey and stupid, a combination routinely propagandised to girls as something you can and should want to have in your life, which you actually very much do not want remotely breathing near you.
Anybody talking about the smell of a woman in these sorts of terms is a fucking nutjob too. Everyone who is attracted to whatever sex enjoys that sex's pheromone stink, which is under no circumstances ever any kind of irresistible "fuck me" signal. Nobody consents to sex by existing. You always have control over your actions. "Not being able to resist" violating someone's bodily autonomy is always a choice and I unironically think that in a perfect world everybody who makes this choice should be chemically castrated.
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This is why I don’t give a fuck when people say it’s mean for me to want all those with a Y chromosome to do forced military service and die in war. Because now they’re wasting all our resources to go on the internet and say pedophilic shit like this.
860 notes · View notes
angelltheninth · 4 hours ago
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When Arcane Men Get Jealous
Pairing: Viktor, Jayce, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Finn, Marcus, Loris, Steb x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, jealousy, possessive behavior, being protective, kissing in public, biting, holding hands, public display of affection, canon typical violence, suggestive
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters | Commissions
A/N: Would die if they were jealous over me. Melt into a puddle. Gone.
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When Viktor gets jealous he gets a bit more withdrawn than he usually is. Not that he was ever a social butterfly, however he was always more open and happy to talk when it was with you. So his behavior is odd, he even seems to get quieter whenever you walk into the room. Like he's trying to remove himself from you with silence.
"I am not avoiding you. Look, there has been a lot to do for the past week, I'm sorry if you got a bad impression but I was simply busy. If you want more company, go ask Jayce, or Skye, I'm sure they will be more than happy to entertain you, darling."
Viktor is short with his answers, saying as little as possible to minimize the amount of time he spends talking to you. Not because he doesn't want to talk to you, he loves talking to you, but if he keeps talking there's a chance he might say something he's going to regret. And end up hurting you.
"There you go again with these ridiculous accusations. You won't leave it alone will you? So now it's my fault that your project is running late? I would have been happy to help but someone was too busy talking with... you know what, nevermind. You're right, we both have a lot to do, so let's just drop this conversation and focus on work."
If you keep getting in the way of his work, Viktor will eventually come to a breaking point. Him not being able to work is only adding to his emotions, and he's never been the best at dealing with them. While he doesn't exactly yell at you, it's very rare that he ever raises his voice there's a notable frustration in his words, and pain, fear that you'd leave.
"If I'm being so unreasonable then leave. Go. Have fun. I know it's not idea to be cooped up in the lab all the time. There are so many more things to do out there. if you... want to go with other people I suppose I can't stop you, nor can I stop my own jealousy. How am I being even more unreasonable? I know you wouldn't leave me without talking about it. Look... I do not... want you to leave, working is more fun with you. But am I truly all that you want? Me? This lab? Because you're all I want. All that I can think of."
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When Jayce gets jealous he keeps invading your personal space when you're around the person or people he's jealous of. His behavior is nothing innapropriate or pushy. It's just his arm around your waist, just him bringing you that drink you wanted, just him bragging about you a bit too loud and saying how much he loves you.
"You really are great, babe. How in Runterra did I ever find a beauty like you huh? What's that bashfulness for now, I always praise you, and I'm never gonna stop. You're my girl right? I can be a proud boyfriend and talk you up every once in a while."
Physical affection a big deal to Jayce and a way he shows he cares but also a giveaway to his jealousy. He holds your hand longer, his eyes flicker between you and the one he's jealous off, his smile is a bit more nervous when he has to leave you alone. Then there are his kisses, not as gentle, not a little, quick peck on the edge of your lips but a real kiss, lips pressed against yours until you let him know you need air.
"Got a bit carried away there. Ah, sorry, I can't resist you sometimes. All the time. Do you expect me to when you wear lipstick like that? Makes your lips look like they're made to be kissed. By me specifically. I'd kiss you all night long, for the rest of our lives and never get tired of it."
Jayce keeps denying that he's jealous when you bring it up in a teasing way. Logically there's no reason to get jealous, everyone knows your relationship is doing great, in fact you're hardly ever fighting and even when you are it doesn't last too long. How does he turn that part of his brain off? How can he not get jealous when all those people look at you the way he looks at you?
"They're always looking at you. How can you not notice? It's so obvious. You don't notice because... you're only looking at me? That doesn't even make sense! Of course they're looking, you're breathtaking everywhere you go. I just hope that wherever you go, you'll always take me with you, because I want to be by your side forever."
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Ekko often jokes about being jealous so you don't pick up on him actually being jealous. A little jealousy is fine but not when it's getting in the way of his missions and operations with his team. He'd been a bit distracted in the past, by one of the Firelights flying too close to you, so he pushed his way between you two.
"It was the formation! Which you would have remembered if you weren't too busy chatting. Come on, Firefly, get your head in this. Otherwise you're gonna make your leader jealous. Wouldn't want that right? What if... what if you get demoted for it? Hey! Ow! I wouldn't demote you, who would listen to all my plans?"
When you have free time together Ekko makes sure to spend as much time with you as possible. If you're together all the time there's less chance that someone else will swoop in and flirt with you. He would never describe his behavior as being clingy, all he wants is to spend free time with his girlfriend. That is perfectly normal behavior.
"What do you say we go out to get some food? We don't have to spend all our time here. Not like the tree is gonna burn down if we're away for a couple of hours right? Besides it's been a while since it was just you and me all alone. Miss being alone with you. Don't you miss it too?"
If the person he's jealous of ever puts you in danger in any way Ekko will go off on them. Harder than he scolded others in the past. He might let some of his jealousy show then, but he storms off, well flies off before you can talk to him. As much as he wants to be alone he also makes room for you on his hoverboard when you float down next to him.
"Shouldn't have went off on them like that. I know, you don't gotta say it, I'll say I'm sorry. Let cool off a bit. You'd think that if they were flirting with you that much they could have been looking out a bit better. I'm always looking out for you. Maybe a bit too much. Sorry if I've been weird about it lately. Would you forgive me if I took you on a romantic hoverboard ride?"
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No one wants to piss off a big man like Vander by flirting with his wife. Everyone values their life and their bones too much. But... they stare at you. Quite openly actually. You see it, and you bet he sees it too. He sees everything that's happening at his bar and he won't stand for someone ogling his wife, even if he has to get aggressive about it.
"It's my damn bar, I've got the right to break the table with their heads when they're looking at ya like that. Tell ya what, a lot more people would avoid this place if I started beating up every asshole that looks at ya wrong. Only reason I don't is cause I don't want ya to be mad at me after."
He hasn't banned anyone from his bar in a very long time. Vander knows he tolerates a lot, this is Zaun, and some people don't have the best manners, that's not exactly their fault. But on the other hand if they start something with him then he will finish it. When he tells them to stop looking at you like you like you were one of Babette's workers and they get in his face he will pick them up and throw them out.
"Bastards had it coming. I tried to be nice, then they had to go and call ya names. Ain't no way in hell I'm gonna let anyone insult my wife. Not here, not on the streets, not anywhere. I went there and I wanted to talk to them, tell them to fuck the hell off, they were the ones who started getting violent. So I responded in kind."
Vander calls you over to the bar a bit more often if he sees a particular table is trying to monopolize you. He carries some of the drinks over, the food plates too, or he simply walks up behind you when one of the guys is getting flirty. Seeing his imposing, huge frame behind you, his muscles bulging, is enough to get most to back off you.
"See, darlin', I can talk things out just fine. When people are being smart about it that is. Might have to stop selling so much booze in this place, then they won't be so bold with ya. Ya are a pretty sight, I can't say otherwise. But ya are a pretty sight for me, not them, ain't that right? Mhm. I know, I'm all yer's too."
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Silco never ever says he's jealous of anyone. He is the most powerful man in all of Zaun, everyone is scared of him and with good reason. As the Eye of Zaun he knows when people are looking, talking too, and might even try to touch you. Those people are often payed a not so nice visit by his men.
"I did hear about that gang, yes. It's very unfortunate that they don't know how to keep their noses where they don't belong. It's not that big of a loss on our end. There are a hundred people who can do their work, and better. All that matters is that they won't even have to think about not touching you again."
He rarely has to get his own hands dirty when he gets jealous. All it takes is him saying who the target or targets are and he makes them dissapear from Zaun. That doesn't always have to be deadly, but if they're really dumb it is. If Silco feels that you're in some kind of danger then he will keep you close by. He tries to distract you from seeing he's jealous.
"All I'm saying is that we could take a break from work. Sevika and Jinx can handle a week of it. And you and me can lock ourselves up in our home and not come out. The bedroom works perfectly fine too, if you'd rather spend our time in there. And what is it that I'm doing, darling? Jealous? You are an observant one. I wouldn't want you any other way."
The only time Silco will threaten someone in person is if that someone is bold enough to flirt with you in front of them. He can scare people within an inch of their life just by talking to them, he's not just a good businessman, and some people tend to forget that. He has Zaun in the palm of his hand, and everyone in it.
"He did not actually piss himself. Did he actually. Hm, I wasn't look at him anymore to be honest. He was spineless, surprising given he talked to you like he did. Guess he was thinking with his other head a bit too much for his own good. Why are you looking at me that way? Ah, I see. Looks like someone enjoyed watching me put a scumbag into his place a bit too much."
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Since Finn isn't someone who would take anything lying down he will be damned before he sees someone coming onto his woman and not do anything about it. He might have a certain charm about him but that doesn't mean he's not ready to makes heads roll the moment when someone crosses any kind of line with you. Imaginary or otherwise.
"Hah, did you see that doll? As soon as I threw one punch he went down. All his buddies ran like rats. Left him all alone there. After all that tough talk and he couldn't even defend himself. Serves him right. He's lucky all I did was break his nose when he flirted with you. I wasn't even that far away."
Finn will make out with you in front of who ever he is jealous of just to prove a point to them. And while he has you moaning, has your head buried against his neck and your body running hot he will look at the other person and stick his tongue out at them, right before making a V with his fingers and putting his tongue between them. He's vulgar but it gets the point across very well.
"All these people looking at what's mine. Now, I can't have that right? I love that you're showing off your body, it's a great body, you know how much I love it. But sometimes I want to keep you away from prying eyes. And if I can't the least I can do is give them a show. Make them know I'm the only one who can touch you."
His jacket is a signature part of his outfit, but Finn will let you wear it. Hell, he will walk over and drape it over your shoulders while not even looking at whoever you're talking to. Sometimes they're not worth looking at when he can look at the pretty way you blush as you touch his hand that's lingering on your shoulder.
"Thought you looked a bit cold there. Keep this on all night. Later on I'll help you warm up my way, a much more fun way. Don't even worry about your perfume getting all into this, love having your scent all over me. And by tomorrow you're gonna be wearing all of my marks."
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There are a lot of people in the Enforcers who tease Marcus about having such a pretty wife. He knows you're pretty, but he doesn't like that the department is noticing it so much as well. Not that there's any way for him to hide it, or that he wants you to hide it, that would be a real crime.
"I was not pouting. That is so childish. I was glaring at them. Well, they were the ones who stared first. You visit me at work, like that's such a big deal. We're married, honey, I pick you up from work too. Why is it such a big deal here? I think they're just trying to get a rise out of me."
Won't deny that he's feeling jealous or shy away from showing it. When Marcus notices any of his men flirting with you he makes them work extra hard that day, he gives them more paperwork, something that everyone hates there, or assigns them to the toughest jobs that he knows will take them days to complete. He can't help but chuckle when you visit again and they're too tired to flirt with you, they just say hello.
"What do you mean I'm picking on them? Of course not. You know how hard it is to deal with all these extra cases. Someone has to take on a few more. No, the fact that it's the same Enforcers who gave you flowers that one time has nothing to do with it. You think it does? And do you have evidence of this accusation?"
Marcus isn't shy about kissing you in front of the whole department. If that's what it takes to send them all a clear message to back off. It's always perfectly chaste kisses, but he does make sure that everyone hears him say he loves you when you leave. He smirks when eyes turn to him and he wishes them all a good rest of their day.
"Now you call me petty. All of these accusations and you still don't have any evidence. That's not a very good way to have a case. You've been keeping count have you? Oh. You... actually have been keeping count? I'm guilty? Fine, you got me, you got me. Maybe... that was a little petty of me, but I'm not sorry."
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Every time Loris is jealous it's almost impossible for him to hide that fact. He's a big guy, nothing about him is easy to his, not even his emotions. And he's loud, so every time he huffs, mumbles something, or grunts you hear it. Your eyes meet and he looks away, his hand grasping yours and running his thumb over the back of your hand.
'They were staring at you a bit too much for my liking, pretty girl. If they were as tough as they pretend they were they should have held their ground more. Proves they were all bark and no bite. People like that really get on my nerves, and then they talk to my girl like she's single."
Loris invites you to have lunch with him quite often, even more often when he gets jealous of someone who works with him. Dealing with them in any other way would be unprofessional of him, and might get him in trouble. This way he gets to avoid that, avoid them, and spend a nice lunch date with you. No matter how you look at it he's the real winner here.
"Looks so good. But if you keep looking at me like that I might get hungry for something else besides the food. Just try shifting the blame on me when you know exactly how you're looking at me right now. I wouldn't risk it at work, but... if you showed up with a few hickeys on your neck it might get the rest of the department to stop flirting with you."
As much as he tries to make his jealousy go away it's not easy. Loris knows he should be an example for others, after all he had been an Enforcer for a long time, he can't just let his emotions get the better of him. Hard to keep those emotions down when they concern you. If nothing else works he will intimidate people. Easy enough for him. But he would rather that be a last resort.
"If he wasn't ready to throw fists and words at me then he shouldn't have thrown flirty words at you. He should be able to back himself up if he's gonna be saying stuff like that. All I did was pick him up and throw him outside. Hey, I might get in a bit of trouble for it, but at least he'll leave you alone from now on. I'd risk my badge for you if I have to, you know that."
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Since he is the quiet type Steb shows his emotions and jealousy is one that he works hard to surpress. Every time he notices that someone is standing a little too close to you he walks over and looks at you, lovingly, then he looks at the other person with a glare, a deadly one. All the while he's standing shoulder to shoulder with you.
"Come now, angelfish, they weren't even worth your time. We both know they only had one thing in mind when they were talking to you. I could see it in their eyes. I don't appreciate that they looked at you like that. And I know you don't either. So I felt like I had to step in."
He is very physical with his jealousy. Steb lets his eyes and touches linger a few moments longer when he wants to make a point to someone. While he knows you don't hate it he also doesn't want to come off as too jealous or too possessive over you. You can take care of yourself and he loves that about you, he's watched you put people in their place often, but there are times where he can't hold himself back.
"I could feel your fingers interlocking with mine. You wanted me to stand close to you when they weren't leaving you alone. Would you have raised your voice if I hadn't walked over? It would be amusing to see it. But I think those kisses we shared also sent an equally powerful message. You didn't have to bit me though."
Steb nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck when he's feeling really, really jealous of someone. He makes it look less possessive than it is, pretending like he's overhearing something you have to say, and then pushing himself just a little bit closer. His cold lips make contact with your neck, sending shivers down your body before he brushes your lips with his thumb and leaves with a smirk.
"That ought to be enough. I could have done more but marking you in public might have been a step too far. We can enjoy things like that in private however. I enjoy being close to you in any context, and if it makes others realize you're not looking for anyone because you've already got a man then I enjoy it even more."
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Text
@pamwritessometimes
"This sat in my drafts for months..." Then proceeds to write something so utterly TRUE, HONEST, and ON BRAND for falling in love with the frustrating, adorable, lovable, asshole that is Soldier Boy.
I loved every bit of this fic!
He’s a walking contradiction. He can be crude and crass and violent, but his hands that are scarred and calloused from years of supposed war and bloodshed, are so uncharacteristically gentle when they touch you like he’s terrified of breaking something he doesn’t know how to stitch back together. And you love it. You love that you make him hesitate. That you make him stay. "Fuck, you’ve ruined me" he murmurs one night, pressing his forehead to yours, breath warm against your lips. “You made me a goddamn pussy.”
I AM MELTING! This is SO good. I love this part because the idea that Ben is a "contradiction" is true when it comes to the reader. I love the headcanon that Ben is violent and angry, but he's soft when it comes to his girl. I do not believe for one second that Ben would ever be violent towards the woman he loves or want to hurt her in any way even when he's angry. And I love a man with rough hands that is only gentle with them when he’s with his girl 😍
And the line "Fuck, you've ruined me" made my soul leave my body. I cannot describe how good it is or how wonderfully it fits him.
You see, Ben isn’t good with words. Not the important ones, anyway. But he’s fluent in actions.
Oh goodness, every single example you listed after this line was perfect for him. Ben giving the reader coffee, Ben watching the reader and paying attention to what the reader likes- YES!
Because we all know that Ben will say the wrong thing at the wrong time, but he will make it up to the woman he loves. AND BEN putting his hand on the reader's hip to remind himself that he does have her in his life:
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Ben’s not stupid.
He's not. And I love that you put this in here, that Ben really isn't a mindless brute, he has a brain, you're so right!
His jokes are always just a little too loud, just a little too offensive, making you cringe even as he smirks, because he knows damn well what he’s doing.
Goodness 🫣 I don't want to think about the jokes, but we all know he has no filter lol.
And despite what everyone says — despite the fact that he probably won’t ever change — you can’t seem to stop yourself from diving headfirst into the madness. Maybe you can’t fix him. But damn if he doesn’t make it worth trying.
YES A MILLION TIMES YES! He's insufferable, but he's worth it. I loved all of this! It was so wonderfully written and so fitting for Soldier Boy. And oh goodness yes, he's also got a choke hold on me as well lol.
Loving Soldier Boy…
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Soldier Boy x reader (drabble)
Summary: Just a short n’ (bitter)sweet drabble about what it’s like to love Ben.
Warnings: language, innuendos (c’mon, it’s Ben), mention of violence
Song inspo: I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) by Taylor Swift.
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Loving Soldier Boy isn’t easy.
You knew Soldier Boy was a handful. Hell, he knows he’s a handful. And you know Ben has never been handled before. Not properly. Not by someone who knows when to push and when to pull, when to hold steady and when to let go.
But you?
You thought you had him figured out.
He’s bad news — at least that’s what everyone keeps telling you.
“That man is not safe” MM says, arms crossed.
“He’s straightdown psychotic” Annie agrees, looking at you like she’s waiting for the spell Ben must have put on you to break.
Hughie just grimaces, rubbing the back of his neck. “Are you sure about this? Like, really sure?”
Frenchie sighs. “I have seen many dangerous men, mon coeur, but that one?” He shakes his head. “That one is the iceberg that sinks the ship.”
Even Kimiko seems to eye you with pity.
And Butcher — he just tsked.
“That’s a bloody dangerous game you’re about to play, luv.”
But all that didn’t matter.
Not when Ben flashes you that cocky, wolfish grin. Not when he pulls you in with that fiery gaze that makes your pulse stutter. Not when he touches you like you’re the only thing keeping him from unraveling completely.
He’s a walking contradiction.
He can be crude and crass and violent, but his hands that are scarred and calloused from years of supposed war and bloodshed, are so uncharacteristically gentle when they touch you like he’s terrified of breaking something he doesn’t know how to stitch back together.
And you love it.
You love that you make him hesitate.
That you make him stay.
"Fuck, you’ve ruined me" he murmurs one night, pressing his forehead to yours, breath warm against your lips. “You made me a goddamn pussy.”
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Loving Soldier Boy is mastering the skill of interpreting nonverbal communication.
You see, Ben isn’t good with words. Not the important ones, anyway.
But he’s fluent in actions.
Like how he always, always keeps a hand on you — your waist, your back, the nape of your neck — like he needs the physical contact to remind himself you’re real and still with him.
Or how, when you’re pissed at him, he won’t apologize outright, but he will fix your coffee just the way you like it, set it down in front of you with a grunt and a pointed look, like There. Happy now?
Or the way he watches you when he thinks you’re not looking. Like he’s trying to memorize every inch of you because no matter how much of a dick he is sometimes, the thought of him possibly outliving you haunts him.
He’s an asshole. A menace. A walking disaster.
And yet, when he pulls you into his lap, his fingers threading through your hair, his lips ghosting over yours—
You think maybe he’s worth the trouble.
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Loving Soldier Boy is a delicate art.
It’s catching the flicker of rage in his eyes before he explodes, steering him away from the fire instead of into it.
It’s letting him run his mouth, knowing that half the shit he says is just to get a rise out of people, and the other half—
Well.
“Because it was fucking beeping” he answers when you find bullet holes in your microwave.
Ben’s not stupid.
But when he came back from the dead, or, you know, from 40 years of being locked up, you’re starting to realize… he might not be as up to date as he thinks.
You blink. “Because it was beeping?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs, leaning back against the counter like he didn’t just pull some absolute batshit nonsense. “Wouldn’t shut the hell up.”
“That’s… literally its job, Ben.”
“Well, now it’s unemployed.” He smirks. “Like half the people I’ve worked with.
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Loving Soldier Boy is like wrestling with a live grenade.
Violence isn’t just second nature to Ben — it’s first.
He doesn’t do restraint.
Like the time some guy got a little too close to you at a club and ended up with a broken jaw — because Ben doesn’t do warnings either.
Or the time he punched a cop without even thinking about the consequences.
“To be fair, he was being a dick.”
“He was giving you a parking ticket.”
Ben scoffs. “Exactly.”
“Oh my God.”
“What?” He throws his hands up, all mock innocence. “I told him not to touch my car.”
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Loving Soldier Boy is fighting for feminism while actively losing the war.
There’s something infuriating about Ben’s shameless, unapologetic brand of horniness.
His jokes are always just a little too loud, just a little too offensive, making you cringe even as he smirks, because he knows damn well what he’s doing.
And yet, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it.
And he knows it.
No matter how many times you glare at him, no matter how often you mutter “Ben, we are in public”, he sees the way your breath hitches, the way your thighs press together when he leans in too close, and he can practically smell the forming pool in your panties.
“C’mon, sweetheart.” His voice is low, dripping with amusement. “Don’t act like you don’t love it when I talk dirty to you.”
You glare at him. “You literally just told the bartender that I needed something ‘to keep my mouth occupied.’”
Ben grins. “And I stand by that.”
You fight the urge to groan. “You are insufferable.”
He leans in, his lips just barely brushing against your ear. “But you like me insufferable.”
And fuck.
Maybe you do.
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Loving Soldier Boy is realizing you’re the one really losing the fight.
When the team calls you out on his bullshit, you just sit there and listen.
You have no defense.
Because what are you even supposed to say?
He’s trying? (He’s not.)
He didn’t mean to? (He absolutely did.)
He’s a work in progress? (Is he?)
And despite what everyone says — despite the fact that he probably won’t ever change — you can’t seem to stop yourself from diving headfirst into the madness.
Maybe you can’t fix him.
But damn if he doesn’t make it worth trying.
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The chokehold this man has on me is insane — help
Also… This sat in my drafts for months, but I gave it a reread and didn’t completely hate it — so here you go. Hope you enjoyed!🤍
xx Pam
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jetii · 22 hours ago
Text
Warm
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Pairing: Echo x fem!Reader
Words: 10,262
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! friends with benefits to lovers, fluff, slight hurt/comfort, first date cuteness, accidental love confessions, smut, unprotected sex, p in v sex, oral (m recieving), fingering, dirty talk, creampie, inappropriate use of scomp, very loving soft sex actually
Summary: For the first time since the Republic fell, you and Echo find yourself on Pabu with nothing to do but relax, and you're determined to make the most of it. You just have to convince Echo.
A/N: I said this was pwp but I lied, the plot got me girl. This is some of the sweetest smut I have ever written. Echo deserves nothing less.
Previous Work | Next Work | Masterlist
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"What are you doing?"
You barely pause to look up as you shove another bottle of sunscreen in your bag, casting Echo a wry smile. 
"We're going to the beach, so I'm making sure we're stocked up on sunscreen." You give the bottle in your hand a little shake, as if to illustrate your point. Echo's eyes flick down to it, then back to you, and he crosses his arms over his chest, shifting his weight and making the muscles there ripple distractingly. But you're not going to let him derail you.
"And... why are we going to the beach?" he asks, his tone bemused. You frown at him.
"We're supposed to be taking a break, right?" you ask. "And it's a beautiful day. I figured that we could enjoy it."
The two of you had arrived on Pabu last night, after what had seemed like the longest journey of your life. The moment you'd finally docked, you'd immediately felt the tension in your body start to bleed away, and it only took a few more minutes for Echo to follow suit, his shoulders relaxing and his expression going soft as the two of you walked down the streets toward where the rest of the Batch had made their home.
Now, the two of you are in the kitchen, with its cramped counters and low ceiling and ancient appliances, and for the first time in weeks, neither of you have anything to do. It's a strange feeling. You've been here for less than a day, but already you can feel the weight of all the work and stress and anxiety slowly lifting off your shoulders, leaving you feeling lighter than you have in weeks.
Echo, however, does not look particularly pleased at the prospect of having some time to himself. You know he'd rather be working, or training, or just about anything else, really. It's the exact opposite of what you're hoping for.
"Come on," you coax him, "don't you want to have a little fun? You deserve it."
He shifts uncomfortably, and you see him glance out the window toward the beach.
"I don't... think that's a good idea," he says, his voice hesitant. "It's— we're here because—"
"I know why we're here," you cut in. You set down the sunscreen, crossing your arms and leveling him with a look. "And I'm not asking you to swim, or even go near the water. Just sit in the sand, maybe enjoy the sun for a few minutes. I'm sure there's a place to get a decent cup of caf nearby, or maybe one of those little pastry things you like."
He's still looking skeptical, and you know you need to change tactics, so you step closer to him and slide your arms around his neck, tilting your head back and smiling at him coyly. His gaze drops down to your mouth, then flickers back up, and the corner of his lips tugs upward.
"I mean, if you're too scared to come outside with me..."
Echo scoffs, the sound almost offended. He pulls you close, his arms wrapping around your waist, and his voice is a low rumble in your ear.
"You really think that'll work on me?"
"No, not at all," you say with a smirk. You press a kiss to the spot just below his jaw, and he shivers, his fingers flexing against your back. "But I did just get a new swimsuit, and I thought maybe you'd want to see me in it."
The reaction is immediate. You feel Echo's whole body go rigid, his grip tightening around you, and you bite back a smile, trying not to laugh. You look up to see his ears are tinged red, and his eyes are fixed firmly on a point over your shoulder.
"Really?" he says, his voice strained, and you nod.
"Mhm."
You can see him considering it, and when you tilt your head a little more, leaning closer and making sure his attention stays fixed on you, you spot the exact moment his resistance breaks.
"I think you'll like it,” you continue. You're grinning now, knowing that you've already won. "But I guess if you're not interested, I can go to the beach by myself. I'm sure plenty of people will appreciate it."
You step away from him, already starting toward the bedroom the two of you had shared the night before. Before you can get more than a couple steps, though, Echo's arm shoots out, wrapping around your waist and hauling you back against him. You turn to find him smiling down at you, his eyes dancing with amusement, and he leans in, brushing his nose against yours.
"That's not going to happen," he murmurs. He leans in and kisses you, and for a moment, all the stress and tension seems to melt out of his body. He pulls away, pressing his forehead to yours and letting out a little sigh. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to get a little fresh air. But if I get sand in my joints, I'm not going to be happy."
You smile triumphantly and lean forward to peck him on the cheek.
"I'll make it up to you, I promise," you murmur, and his ears turn bright red. You grin and duck out of his grasp before he can reply, and Echo lets out a little huff as you head for the stairs, tossing a "get your sunscreen, you're going to burn!" over your shoulder.
When you return a few minutes later, your new swimsuit snugly in place under your clothes, Echo is standing in the doorway, and you stop, staring at him. He's wearing a pair of board shorts, a navy-blue color with a white stripe along each side. They fall a couple inches above his knees, and his broad chest is bare, his skin glowing in the sunlight. You've seen him shirtless plenty of times, but there's something about him wearing these casual clothes, something about the way he looks, relaxed and at ease and not quite as tense, that makes your heart do a funny little flip in your chest.
"Is this okay?" he asks, and you realize you've been staring at him. He has a button down shirt in his hand in an obnoxious floral pattern, one you know he got from one of the boys as a joke. You hadn't expected him to actually wear it, but it makes you smile to think that he's actually embracing the beach-vacation vibe.
"You look good," you say, and your voice comes out a little bit breathy. You clear your throat and try again. "I mean, it's fine. You look fine. Great. I'm—we should go."
You can't read the expression on his face, but his lips are twitching as he tugs the shirt on over his shoulders, and you grab the bag of supplies before turning toward the door.
"Come on," you say, jerking your head for him to follow. "Let's get out of here."
He follows you out, and you can feel his eyes on you the entire time, his gaze lingering on the skin that's visible between the bottom of your cropped shirt and the top of your shorts. When you catch his eye, he grins, not even trying to hide the fact that he's ogling you.
"Shut up," you mutter, but he only grins wider.
The two of you have never done anything like this before. There'd been a couple nights, during the brief respites the two of you had gotten on different missions, where you'd both gone out and had a little fun, but that had always ended the same way, with you heading back to one of your rooms or to a secluded corner and spending the rest of the night wrapped up in each other.
But this, the two of you wandering down the streets together, stopping at a café to get something to eat, laughing and joking together like a real couple... it's nice. Really nice.
You can feel Echo relaxing the longer the two of you walk, and he doesn't hesitate before ordering a caff for the two of you, getting yours the way you like it without having to ask. He holds the door open for you and pays for both of your meals, and by the time the two of you are walking down the beach toward the spot you'd had in mind, his arm slung over your shoulders, you're practically beaming.
The spot is far enough away from the main strip of shops and restaurants to avoid most of the foot traffic, but not so far away that the two of you will have to walk for miles to get back. It's quiet, with most people including the rest of the Batch at work or school or who knows where, and the sound of the waves is soothing.
Still, Echo stays close, his arm hovering near you as if he expects you to suddenly collapse, and he tenses a little whenever someone passes. When the two of you finally reach your spot, he pulls away, turning his back to you while you lay out the blanket.
"Checking for traps?" you ask dryly, and he shrugs, not looking at you.
"Or enemies," he says, and you roll your eyes.
"Yeah, right."
"Just because we haven't seen any doesn't mean they're not out there," he argues, and you can tell he's about to launch into a full-blown speech, so you reach out and wrap your hand around his wrist, tugging him down to the blanket.
"We're fine," you say. "Really. It's the middle of the day, and I don't think any undercover Imperials are going to try and jump us in the middle of a public beach."
"You never know," he says, and the look on his face tells you he's completely serious. "It wouldn't be the first time."
You roll your eyes and settle down on the blanket, propping yourself up on your elbows.
"Well, I'm sure I'll be safe with a big, strong ARC trooper protecting me," you tease, and his expression turns sour. You wink, and his scowl deepens.
"Ha ha," he says, not looking amused.
"I'm kidding," you say, nudging him with your shoulder. You tilt your head, and Echo's eyes are drawn to the long line of your neck. "Let's just... try and forget about that, okay? Let's pretend, for just a little while, that we're normal. We're just a normal couple, and we're having a normal date. Okay?"
He's still frowning, his brow furrowed, but after a moment, he sighs, his shoulders slumping a little.
"Okay," he mutters. "I can do that."
You smile, leaning in to press a kiss to his cheek, and Echo turns, his mouth finding yours. His hand comes up, his thumb brushing across your cheek, and he pulls you closer, kissing you softly.
You let yourself sink into it, the sound of the ocean and the feeling of the sun on your skin making everything feel a little bit like a dream.
When you break apart, he's smiling, and some of the tension has finally melted from his body.
"So," you say, grinning, "what do you think? About this normal-couple-on-a-date thing?"
"I think... I could get used to it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." He smiles at you, his eyes crinkling a little at the corners, and the sight of him, relaxed and smiling and looking happier than you've seen him in weeks, sends a flood of warmth through your chest. "It's kind of nice, actually."
"Good," you say. "Now take off your shirt. You're going to need a little sunscreen."
Echo's eyebrows lift. “What?”
"Come on," you wheedle, shaking the bottle at him. "Don't worry, I'll help."
"That's not—" he begins, but he doesn't seem to be able to find the words to finish. Finally, he sighs and shrugs out of his shirt, folding it and placing it on the blanket. Before he can say anything else, you move behind him, squeezing a generous amount of the lotion into your hands and rubbing them together.
"I'm going to start with your back," you tell him. You smooth your hands over his shoulders, feeling the soft skin beneath your palms, and his muscles flex beneath your touch. You move your hands over his broad back, covering every inch of exposed skin, and Echo groans as you hit a knot just below his shoulder blade.
"Right there?"
"Yeah," he says. He's practically melting under your touch, and you keep working, kneading your thumbs into the spot. "Force, that feels good."
You don't answer, focusing instead on getting the last bit of sunscreen in his skin. After a moment, he seems to gather himself, and you see him glance at the bottle, his brow furrowing.
"Why do I need sunscreen?" he asks.
"To keep you from burning."
He looks confused.
"You have sensitive skin, remember? And we've been traveling a lot lately, which means you haven't gotten much time in the sun. You don't want to burn."
Echo opens his mouth to respond, but you’re already climbing into his lap, your hands skimming over his shoulders.
"I should get your front, too," you murmur, and his eyes darken. His hand finds your hip, his scomp skimming up your back, and he's looking up at you, his expression open and vulnerable. You can feel the warmth of him through your clothes, and a familiar heat starts to coil in your stomach.
"You're distracting me," he mutters, his gaze flickering down to your lips.
"Is it working?"
"Yes."
You smirk and lean in, brushing a kiss against his mouth before smearing a line of sunscreen down the bridge of his nose. He yel and you pull back, laughing as his face scrunches up in distaste.
"What—"
"That's what you get," you say, grinning. "Come on, let's get the rest of you covered."
Echo grumbles a little but settles back against the blanket. You're thorough, taking care to spread the lotion across his arms and legs, over his broad chest, and down the smooth planes of his stomach. He's warm and pliant under your touch, letting out little noises of contentment whenever you find a particularly tight spot. By the time you've covered the last inch of skin, he looks thoroughly relaxed.
"There," you say, smiling at him. You run your hand down his side, and Echo shudders. "All done."
"Thanks," he says. He opens his eyes, squinting against the sunlight, and frowns. You’re already standing up, dusting sand off your legs, and you see him tense.
"Wait, what are you doing?"
You pause, your hands on the hem of your shirt.
"What does it look like I’m doing?”
He pushes himself up onto his elbows.
"It looks like you're taking off your clothes."
"I am."
You strip off your shirt, and you toss it over his head, smiling as he pulls it away. He freezes, staring at the scrap of fabric in his hand, and his eyes drop to your chest.
"This is..."
"I told you I had a new swimsuit," you remind him as you drop your shorts and step out of them, "and now you get to see it."
He looks like his brain is short circuiting, and his gaze rakes across your body, taking in every inch of exposed skin and the tiny bits of fabric covering the parts that aren't. You grin and turn around, slowly bending over to pick up the discarded shorts. You look back over your shoulder and his eyes are wide, and he swallows hard, his mouth suddenly dry.
"See something you like?"
"Uh huh," he says faintly. He licks his lips and tries to drag his eyes up, but they're fixed firmly on the swell of your ass, the way the fabric hugs the curve of it and leaves the skin exposed. His mouth opens, and you know he's trying to find the words, but instead, all that comes out is a faint croak.
"Good," you say. "I'm glad."
You grab the bottle of sunscreen and settle down on the blanket.
"I'm going to need a little help, though," you say. "I can't get my back."
You tilt your head back and Echo nods, the motion slow and almost hypnotized. He stands, crossing the blanket and kneeling down behind you. He waits for you to dispense some into his hand, and his fingers trail across the nape of your neck as he smooths the lotion over your skin. His touch is warm, and gentle, and the feeling sends a pleasant shiver down your spine.
It’s rare for the two of you to have this much time alone together, and you can't help but let yourself enjoy it, leaning into his touch. You're not even trying to tease him, but his breath still catches every time his hands sweep lower, his fingers tracing along the waistband of your swimsuit. He takes his time, making sure that not a single inch of skin is left uncovered, and by the time he's done, the tension between the two of you is practically crackling.
He sits back, his hand still lingering on the small of your back, and the two of you are quiet. He's staring at you, and there's something different about the way he's looking at you, something almost... reverent.
You've always known he wants you, have been able to read it on his face and in his touch, but this, the way he's staring at you now, is more than that. It's desire, yes, but there's something deeper, something softer and sweeter, and it makes your heart flutter in your chest.
The two of you haven't done anything like this before. Even your previous trysts had been frantic and rushed, a matter of stolen moments in darkened rooms and shadowy corners. But here, the two of you are exposed, out in the open where anyone could see, and yet the thought doesn't fill you with dread or worry. It's thrilling, in a way, and the fact that Echo doesn't seem to care either way just adds to it.
But despite that, neither of you make a move. You sit there, both of you watching each other, and you know that if you gave the slightest indication, he'd pounce, and the two of you would be wrapped up in each other, just like all those times before. But for the first time, you don't want that. You want him to stay just like this, watching you, and for you to watch him in turn.
So, instead, you reach out and brush your thumb over his bottom lip, and he sighs, his eyelids fluttering closed. He's warm under your touch, his lips slightly chapped from the wind, and he leans into you, pressing a kiss to your palm. His scomp skims up your back, the metal warm from the sun, and he pulls you close.
You press yourself against his chest, tucking your head into the space between his neck and shoulder, and his arm comes around to wrap around your waist, holding you there.
It's peaceful, the two of you sitting together like that. It feels normal, and right, and the feeling that settles over you is warm and comfortable, like being wrapped up in a blanket. It's perfect, and you never want it to end.
But, like all good things, it eventually has to, and Echo's comm chirps. The noise seems to echo across the sand, shattering the fragile bubble of peace the two of you have found. He pulls away, digging through the pockets of his shorts, and he swears under his breath.
“Rex,” he says as he holds up the comm. You nod, and he activates it, and the captain's voice crackles through.
"Echo, I just sent over some new intel. Can you check it out? It might be a lead on the ship."
"Yeah, of course," Echo replies, though his tone is a little hesitant. He glances over at you, his brows drawing together, and you force a smile, ignoring the way your heart has plummeted into the pit of your stomach.
"Duty calls," you say, trying for levity.
Echo hesitates, glancing at the comm and back at you, and he lets out a sigh.
“Everything okay?” Rex asks.
Echo doesn't answer, not looking away from you. You give him a reassuring smile, and his expression clears, his mouth twitching a little as if he's thinking.
"Everything's fine," he says finally. “I'm a little busy right now, but I'll look over the intel and get back to you later."
There’s a moment of silence, and you hold your breath, wondering if Rex will call him out. But instead, he laughs.
"Busy, huh?"
Echo rolls his eyes.
"Yeah," he says. He shifts, pulling you closer, and he presses a kiss to the top of your head. "Something like that."
"All right, fine," Rex says, and he sounds amused. "Glad you’re enjoying your vacation."
"I'm— yeah. Thanks, Rex."
"Bye, Rex," you add, leaning closer and raising your voice a little. Echo smirks, and he cuts the transmission.
"So," you say, "you're just going to ignore the fact that we got called in for work, huh?"
"No," Echo replies, looking defensive. He sets the comm aside, reaching out to take your hand. "We're on a break. They can handle things without us for a day or two."
You smile at him, and he brushes his thumb over your knuckles, his eyes soft.
"Who are you and what have you done with Echo?" you tease. You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head, but when Echo's grip on your hand tightens, you freeze, a jolt running down your spine.
He scowls, his mouth twisting, and his eyes flicker away from you, looking out across the water. His hand falls away from yours, and his shoulders slump, the easy happiness that had surrounded him moments ago bleeding away.
"Don't say that," he mutters.
"What? Why not?"
"I just..."
He looks frustrated, and a little lost, and you wait, giving him time to find the words. His mouth is open, but he closes it, letting out a harsh sigh through his nose. His brow furrows, and he stares down at his lap, his jaw clenched tight.
"I'm sorry," you murmur, your hand finding his. "I didn't mean it like that."
"No, I—" he stops, closing his eyes. "I know."
He takes a deep breath, his hand turning to lace his fingers through yours.
"I'm tired," he says finally, his voice small. "I'm tired of... not getting to be with you, because we're always running, or on a mission, or just never in the same place. We never get a chance to be alone, and it's..."
His brow furrows, and his lips press together, as if he's frustrated.
"It's not enough," he says, and there's a note of finality to it, like the decision has been made. "And I'm done with it. So unless the galaxy is literally ending, I'm not leaving until we've had a chance to enjoy ourselves a little."
"And what if the galaxy is ending?"
"Then I'm sure Rex and the rest of the boys will take care of it," Echo says. He grins at you, looking proud of himself, and you laugh, shaking your head. "Until then, I'm staying here with you. And," he adds, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the side of your jaw, "you can distract me from thinking about work, if you want."
You lean into him, letting him press another kiss to your neck.
"Hmm," you murmur, pretending to think. "I guess I could do that. After all, we are supposed to be on a date."
"Exactly," he says. He smiles against your skin, and the feeling makes you shiver. "Come on, we can't let the day go to waste."
"I mean, there is one thing we can do," you say, grinning mischievously.
Echo's eyes darken, and his voice is a low rumble.
"What's that?"
You smile and stand, reaching down and tugging him up.
"Swim!"
He groans, and you laugh, ducking out of his grasp and darting for the waves. He's faster, though, and he catches you easily, his arms wrapping around your waist as he lifts you off the ground.
"Echo!" you yelp. You can hear the waves lapping against the shore, and you struggle in his grip. "Don't you dare! Don't you—"
"Sorry," he says, not sounding the least bit apologetic, and you shriek as he tosses you into the surf. You land with a splash, the cool water enveloping you, and you break the surface, pushing the wet strands of hair out of your face.
Echo is watching you, looking smug, and you glare at him.
"What's the matter?" he asks, feigning innocence. "Not having fun?"
You splutter a little, wiping the water from your eyes, and you launch yourself at him. You can't actually pick him up, and he doesn't fall, but the move does throw him off balance, and he stumbles backward, almost falling into the water. You laugh and try to shove him again, but his arm comes around your waist, holding you steady.
"Is that how it's going to be?"
You grin, and the two of you wrestle, the sounds of your laughter carrying over the waves.
"Oh, no, please!" Echo yelps. He tries to fend you off, and you laugh, ducking around his arms and splashing water up at him. "Mercy!"
"Never," you declare. You grab his shoulders, and he lets you push him under the waves. He comes up sputtering, and his arm comes around your waist, dragging you down with him.
You both surface, and Echo is laughing, the sound loud and free and happier than you've ever heard him. It sends a surge of warmth through your chest, and before you can stop yourself, you're leaning in and kissing him.
Echo kisses you back, his hands finding your waist. He's warm against you, even with the cool water lapping around your bodies, and his lips are soft and gentle. It's the opposite of the way you usually kiss him, all tongue and teeth and bruising hands, and it makes your chest ache, makes the longing that's always present whenever he's around swell a little bigger.
He must feel it too, because his grip on you tightens, and he hauls you closer, the two of you clinging to each other like your life depends on it.
When you break apart, he doesn't let go, and neither do you. The two of you stand there for a long time, breathing in sync, and for a moment, everything seems to slow. There's no war, no missions, no responsibilities or tasks. There's just you and him and the feeling of the ocean around you, the two of you pressed so close together it's hard to tell where one of you ends and the other begins.
“So,” he starts, his forehead pressing against yours. “What else do normal couples do on dates, anyway?"
You grin and step back, taking his hand.
"Come on, I'll show you."
And you do. The two of you spend the afternoon walking along the beach, collecting shells and talking, and occasionally, the two of you find yourselves making out like a couple of teenagers, hands roaming over each other and mouths moving frantically together. It's not until the sun is beginning to set that the two of you finally wander back up the hill to the house, and by the time you're back in the kitchen, Echo has you pinned against the counter, his mouth hot and demanding against yours.
"We're supposed to be getting ready for dinner," you mumble, even as you tilt your head, giving him better access to your neck.
"Fuck dinner," Echo growls. He nips at the skin just below your ear, and you moan, your nails digging into his shoulders. "I need you."
You're both still wet from the water, and you can feel him, hot and hard and pressing insistently against your hip. Your own desire surges, and suddenly the thought of a crowded restaurant or a stuffy dining room is the last thing you want.
"I've got a better idea," you murmur, and he groans against your neck.
"Tell me," he breathes, and the feeling of his breath against your skin makes you shiver.
"Shower," you manage. The word has barely left your lips before he's pulling away, tugging you after him as he heads for the stairs.
The two of you don't make it far, and neither of you seems to care. As soon as the door to the bedroom is closed behind him, he's crowding you up against it, his hands sliding under your shirt and his mouth hot on yours. You can feel him, hard and insistent against you, and he groans, grinding his hips against you.
"Gods, I missed this," he pants. He nips at your ear, his teeth scraping across the skin. "Missed you. Missed touching you and kissing you and—"
"Shower," you repeat, gasping as he bites down on your shoulder. "Now.”
"Whatever you want," he mumbles.
He pulls back, and the two of you race down the hall, stripping out of your clothes as you go. He's in the fresher before you, the water already on, and by the time you step in behind him, he's got his back pressed to the tile, his cock hard and heavy between his legs.
You step inside, the water cascading down around the two of you, and Echo's gaze drops, raking over your body. You can see him, taking in the way the water streams over your skin, and the way his eyes darken sends a thrill through you.
You don't bother teasing him. Instead, you push him up against the wall, dropping to your knees and pressing a line of kisses down his stomach. His hand drops to your hair, tangling in the wet strands, and he lets out a choked moan.
"This is a date, right?" you ask, smiling innocently up at him. He nods, his gaze fixed firmly on you, and his grip on your hair tightens. "Good. I've always wanted to give someone a blowjob on a first date."
"Oh, fuck," he moans, and his head thumps back against the wall.
You take him into your mouth, and his fingers tighten in your hair. You look up at him, watching as his expression twists, his brow furrowing and his jaw clenching, and the sight sends a thrill through you.
Echo isn't big on talking during sex. Most of the time, it's just groans and whines, with the occasional curse or muttered endearment. But now, his words seem to be spilling from his lips, the filthiest things you've ever heard pouring out as you suck and lick and take him deeper into your mouth.
"Yes, just like that," he groans, his hips jerking a little. His scomp slides up the wall, searching for purchase, and the sound of the metal scraping against the tile sends a rush of heat through you. "Your mouth is so good, sweetheart. So perfect. Fuck, I can't wait to get inside you."
His fingers are tangled in your hair, not pulling or tugging, just holding you in place. You're practically dripping, and you can feel your cunt clench, the ache in your core growing with every filthy thing that falls from his lips.
"Look at you," he mutters, his voice ragged. His eyes are fixed on the spot where his cock disappears into your mouth, and you hum, the vibrations making him shiver. "Gorgeous. Look so good on your knees for me."
You keep going, working him over until his voice is cracking, his words dissolving into incoherent moans and gasps.
"Fuck," he hisses, his hips stuttering a little. He's close, you can tell, his muscles trembling and his breathing ragged. "Stop. Need— want to—"
He tugs at your hair, trying to pull you off, and you ignore him, keeping up the pace. His words dissolve into a string of curses, and you look up at him, blinking innocently and hollowing your cheeks.
That's all it takes.
"Shit," he manages. "I'm— I'm gonna—"
His cock twitches, and his eyes squeeze shut, his face twisting as he comes, his mouth falling open. He shudders, and you swallow, keeping your eyes on him as his chest heaves, his muscles quivering.
You keep going until he's trembling, his hand pushing weakly at your head, and you let him slide from your lips, sitting back on your heels and grinning up at him. He's slumped against the wall, looking absolutely wrecked, and you smirk, reaching for the bottle of shampoo and standing up.
"Feel good?" you ask, and he nods, his eyes glazed and his lips parted.
"So good," he mumbles. "Need a minute."
"Take your time," you say, stepping around him and putting a generous amount of shampoo in your hands. You work it into your hair, feeling him watching you, and you smile to yourself, humming as you wash the salt from your skin.
"You're evil," he murmurs. He presses up behind you, his mouth dropping to the side of your neck.
"I think the term you're looking for is generous," you tease.
"That, too."
He kisses the spot just below your ear, his teeth grazing against the skin. His hand finds your waist, and his scomp slides up your arm, tugging your hand away from your hair.
"Let me," he murmurs, and you nod. He gently works the suds out, his hand running through your hair and sending pleasant shivers down your spine. His scomp slides down, brushing over the side of your breast, and his other hand joins, the water raining down on the two of you.
"You're beautiful," he says, and you turn your head, looking back at him. He's watching you, his expression open and unguarded, and there's a look in his eyes that makes your breath catch in your throat. "I'm so lucky."
"Echo," you start, but the words die on your lips as his scomp skims lower, brushing against your hip and slipping between your legs. The tip finds your clit, and you gasp, arching back against him.
"So beautiful," he repeats. He rubs tight circles over your clit, his scomp moving slowly, almost lazily, and you lean back, resting your head on his shoulder. His arm comes around your waist, and his hand slides up to cup your breast, his thumb rubbing against the nipple. "You're amazing, sweetheart. I love watching you."
You moan and turn your head to press your mouth against his. He kisses you, his hand cupping your jaw, and you gasp as his scomp moves a little faster.
"I love the noises you make," he murmurs. He nips at the corner of your jaw, his tongue darting out to soothe the sting. "Love the way you taste, the way you feel."
He's everywhere, his lips pressing against the side of your neck, his hand sliding down your stomach and between your legs, his fingers brushing against where you're aching for him. He presses them into you, and his thumb replaces his scomp, the tip  tracing patterns over your thigh as his fingers curl, finding that spot inside of you that makes you shudder.
"Echo," you gasp, the sound practically a sob. You reach back, grabbing onto his neck, and he hums, his arm tightening around you.
"I love being inside you," he says, and his voice is ragged, the sound sending a pulse of heat through you. His cock is hard again, pressing insistently against your ass, and his hips grind forward, the feeling of his body against yours sending a rush of warmth through you.
"Want that," you gasp. "Want you."
"You have me," he murmurs. He adds a third finger, and you whine, your nails digging into his neck.
"Not enough."
He grins against your skin, and the motion makes something inside you snap. You're suddenly desperate for him, for the feeling of him filling you up and driving away the ache that's been building for weeks. You try and turn, but his arm keeps you in place, and he chuckles, his thumb moving a little faster.
"Wait," he says.
"Echo, please," you beg, and he groans, his teeth grazing over your skin.
"Patience," he murmurs. "You can wait a little longer."
He presses his lips to the side of your neck, and his fingers work, curling and thrusting and making your whole body go tight. His arm is solid around you, holding you in place, and the thought of him, surrounding you, pinning you to the spot and taking what he wants, sends a rush of heat through you.
"Please," you whisper, and his fingers twist, his thumb moving faster. "I'm gonna—"
"Yeah," he breathes. "That's it. Come for me, sweetheart. Let me see you."
The sound of his voice, the feeling of his fingers moving inside you and his cock pressed against you is too much. You break, coming with a loud cry, and he keeps going, working you through it. Your body goes limp, and Echo holds you, keeping his fingers buried inside you and his scomp drawing tight circles over your clit. You whimper and try to push him away, the sensations too much, but he doesn't stop, not until a second wave hits and you're writhing, clinging to him for dear life.
By the time he finally pulls away, your legs are trembling, and you're panting, slumped against him and unable to do anything but whimper as he turns the water off and steps out of the shower.
You don't register him drying you off or lifting you and carrying you down the hall, and it's not until the door to the bedroom closes behind him that your brain finally clears enough to form coherent thoughts.
"Echo," you say.
He looks down at you, smiling softly, and he kisses you, the press of his lips warm and gentle. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't need to. He lays you down on the bed, his eyes drinking in every inch of you, and it's so tender, so sweet that the emotion wells up, filling your chest until you're sure it will burst.
It's only been a few weeks, but it feels like a lifetime. The longing, the worry, the fear... it's been eating away at you, and being here with him, like this, makes the stress and anxiety from the past month melt away, leaving you feeling more at peace than you have in weeks.
He's always been the calm in the storm. You've lost track of the number of times you've lain awake at night, wondering if this was the last time, if this would be the one where something went wrong and neither of you came home. He's always been there, a solid presence, an unwavering support, and the thought of losing him is almost too much to bear.
But here, in this moment, there's nothing but the two of you. There's no war, or missions, or fighting or running. It's just the two of you, wrapped up in each other, safe and warm and together.
And in that moment, you're so happy, you think your heart might explode.
He lays down next to you, his hand finding your waist, and you kiss him, your hands cupping his jaw and stubble scraping across your palms. It's gentle and unhurried, the two of you taking the time to relearn each other. The feeling of his mouth against yours, his skin under your hands, his body pressed against you is almost overwhelming, and you find yourself clinging to him, holding him as close as you can and trying to commit the feeling to memory.
It's not until he rolls on top of you that the slow, lazy pace breaks.
You gasp, his mouth hot and demanding against yours, and his cock presses insistently against your thigh. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, and he groans, grinding his hips down.
"Want you," you manage. Your hands run over his back, sliding down and gripping his ass.
"You have me," he says, his voice rough. He kisses down your neck, nipping and biting at the soft skin.
"Inside," you gasp, and he moans, his mouth dropping lower, his lips moving over the swell of your breasts.
"Yeah," he breathes. "Yeah, I want that."
"Come on," you say, pushing at his shoulders. He sits up and kneels between your legs, and he reaches down, stroking his cock and giving it a firm squeeze. He looks massive from this angle, his broad chest and shoulders towering over you, and the sight makes something clench deep in your core.
"I don't want to rush," he murmurs, his gaze dropping to the apex of your thighs. "Want to take my time."
You sit up, and his hand finds your waist, pulling you forward and into his lap. Your arms wind around his neck, and his scomp slides up the length of your back, pressing you closer.
"We have time," you tell him, and his eyes are dark and soft and full of a tenderness that makes your heart flutter.
"Yeah," he says. "We do."
You press a kiss to his cheek, and his hand drops between the two of you, gripping his cock and lining it up with your entrance. His mouth finds yours as the thick head slides into you, and it's slow, so agonizingly slow, you're sure he's trying to drive you insane.
You don't remember him being this big.
You know that's ridiculous, that of course he's still the same size, but the thought has a whimper falling from your lips. You try and grind down, needing more, but his arm comes around, pinning you to his chest, and he shakes his head.
"You're killing me," you mutter, and his teeth flash in the fading sunlight, his eyes dancing.
"I can stop," he teases.
"Don't you dare," you say, and he chuckles, pressing another kiss to your lips.
He keeps going, the steady, agonizing pressure of his cock pushing inside making your whole body go tense. You can feel the way he's stretching you open, the way your body has to make room for him, and the thought makes your mind blank, the ache in your core growing.
By the time he's finally, finally all the way inside, the two of you are breathing heavily. He’s so deep, deeper than anyone else has ever been, and the stretch is just shy of painful. It makes your hips jerk a little, and Echo lets out a moan, his hand finding your hip and his fingers digging into the soft skin.
"You're perfect," he mumbles, and you laugh, the sound turning into a moan as he grinds his hips up, pushing a little deeper.
You cling to him, his arms coming around you and pulling you closer. His forehead drops to your shoulder, and you wrap your legs around his waist, letting him pull you closer, as close as possible. The two of you stay like that, holding each other and letting the sensation wash over you.
Eventually, the pressure becomes too much, and you start to squirm, shifting and rocking your hips. Echo takes the hint and starts to move, and the first slow, lazy thrust makes the both of you moan.
He starts a rhythm, and it's like the entire galaxy has narrowed down to just the two of you. Nothing else matters, just the feeling of his cock sliding into you, the warmth of his breath on your neck, the feeling of his heartbeat against your skin.
You know how much he loves being inside you. He's always told you, whispered it against the skin of your neck, moaned it in the dead of night, panted it while you rode him, the words falling from his lips like a prayer. He never seems to tire of it, always desperate to get as deep as possible, and sometimes, you've wondered if there's a part of him that's afraid this will be the last time.
But he's never done it like this.
He's never held you in his arms and pressed kisses to your skin, his hand and scomp running reverently over every inch of your body. He's never taken his time, his hips rocking forward in a steady, measured rhythm, his mouth finding yours again and again. He's never let himself drown in the feeling of it, his eyes half-closed and his face twisted in an expression of pure bliss.
He's never made love to you before.
You've never put a name to it, the way the two of you are together. You've always been careful not to call it anything, knowing that doing so would cross a line neither of you wanted to. It's dangerous, the sort of thing that can break hearts and destroy lives, and you'd both known it. So you'd never said it, never acknowledged it, and had kept it to yourselves, locked away where no one else could ever see.
But now, with his arms wrapped around you, his touch tender and his mouth soft against yours, there's no other word for it. It's the only explanation for the feeling, the one that's welling up inside of you and threatening to swallow you whole, and the realization sends a thrill through you, settling in the pit of your stomach and burning like a sun.
He's making love to you.
You hold him closer, your hand gripping the back of his neck, and his lips find yours, warm and soft. He doesn't say anything, his gaze fixed firmly on your face, and his brow is furrowed, his jaw clenched and his eyes burning.
"So beautiful," he mumbles. His hand runs over your waist, squeezing lightly, and he lets out a shaky breath. "I love this. Love you."
Your breath catches, and for a second, it feels like the world stops. The only sound is his breathing, the only feeling is his hand on your skin, and the only thing that exists is him.
"Echo," you whisper, and his name is a question, the only thing you can manage.
He doesn't seem to hear you, or maybe he doesn't understand.
"Love seeing you like this," he mumbles, his gaze flitting over your face. "Love touching you, love being with you. I don't—"
He breaks off, and his head drops, his nose brushing against your jaw. His breathing is ragged, and his grip on you tightens, and something tells you he didn't mean to say that, didn't mean for those words to fall from his lips.
His hips slow, and he holds you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck and taking a deep, shuddering breath. You can feel him, his entire body trembling, and you pull him closer, your fingers cradling the back of his head and holding him against you.
"It's okay," you say softly, pressing a kiss to his temple.
His scomp skims down your back, the metal still warm from the sun and the warm water. It's a tender gesture, and the fact that he's using it to hold you, instead of his hand, is a testament to how far the two of you have come.
"I love this," he murmurs, and you know what he means.
He doesn't want to leave, doesn't want to go back to the war and the fighting and the constant struggle. He wants to stay, with you, just like this, forever. And as much as you want that, the two of you both know it's not an option.
"Me too," you murmur.
"I wish..."
"Yeah," you breathe. "Me too."
"I love you," he says again.
You swallow, and there's a lump in your throat, a feeling that seems to settle over you, making your skin feel warm and your pulse thrum. You're not sure what it is, but you know that this, whatever it is, is important, that it means something, and the sudden urge to run from it, to shove it down and push it away, is strong. But Echo’s always been there for you, a steady, unwavering presence, and even though you're terrified, the knowledge that he's here, that he won't leave, settles something in you, and the feeling starts to shift.
Instead of the warmth, it's like a fire, burning away the anxiety and the fear, and the knowledge that comes with it makes you feel lighter than you have in months. You're not sure what it means, or what you'll do with it, but there's a sense of comfort in it, and the smile that stretches across your face is genuine.
"I love you, too," you say.
He makes a strangled noise, and his grip on you tightens, his fingers digging into the skin.
"I love you," he repeats, the words falling from his lips. "Force, I love you. So much. I love you."
He says it over and over, the words spilling out of him. He's still hard inside you, and the feeling sends a bolt of heat through you, your cunt clenching around him. He gasps, his hips grinding forward, and he moans, the sound muffled against your skin.
"Please," you whimper, your nails scraping against the back of his neck.
"Anything," he gasps, and his hips start to move, slow and steady.
It's not frenzied, or frantic, and it doesn't need to be. You have time, all the time in the world, and for once, neither of you are trying to race the clock. He's gentle, his movements languid and unhurried, every thrust like a wave, pulling you deeper and deeper.
He's murmuring the whole time, his voice low and rough, the words tumbling from his lips. He's talking about everything, about the way he feels about you, about the things he wants, the places he wants to take you. It's filthy, and sweet, and so perfect, and you let the words wash over you, reveling in the feeling of him inside you and the way his voice makes your stomach clench.
"Echo," you whine, your thighs tightening around his waist. "Close."
"I've got you," he murmurs. His hand slips between the two of you, his thumb finding the swollen, slippery bud of your clit, rubbing slow circles over it. "That's it, sweetheart. Come for me."
The pleasure builds, slowly and steadily, until you can't think, can't breathe, can't do anything but feel. It's intense and intimate, Echo's eyes fixed firmly on your face, his lips parted in awe. You feel open, exposed, vulnerable, and the only thing that makes it bearable is the fact that he's right there with you, his expression twisted and his muscles trembling, his control slipping more and more with each passing second.
"Please," you beg, and his hips speed up, his rhythm faltering as he starts to lose his grip.
"Come for me," he gasps. "Let go. I'll take care of you."
And you do, his words sending a flood of warmth through you, spreading out until you can feel it everywhere, in every part of your body. Your cunt pulses, clenching around him, and Echo groans, his eyes squeezing shut and his mouth dropping open.
"Fuck," he chokes out. He doesn't slow, doesn't stop, just keeps fucking you through it, and you're shaking, clinging to him and shuddering as the pleasure keeps building. "Shit, sweetheart. You feel so good."
"Love the way you feel," you manage, your voice hoarse and strained. "So full. Love your cock, love you."
He curses, his hips jerking, and his scomp digs into the skin of your back, holding you tighter. His hand leaves your clit, and he grabs your thigh, wrapping his arm around your leg and hiking it higher. The angle changes, and he hits something inside of you that makes you sob, his hips snapping forward.
"Again," he grunts.
You nod, the feeling so intense that you can't manage words. You're practically sobbing, the sounds falling from your lips without thought, and Echo's gaze is fixed on you, his expression hungry and awestruck.
"Fuck," he growls, his thrusts getting more and more erratic. "Come on, sweetheart. Want to feel you. Wanna watch you come. Gonna fill you up. Make you mine."
It's filthy, the things he's saying, and you're lost in him, his hand gripping your waist and his scomp pressed into the small of your back. His gaze is burning, and it feels like the room is spinning, like the world is coming apart at the seams and there's nothing left but the two of you, moving together.
"I can't—"
"That's it," he encourages, his voice rough. He's shaking, and you know he's close. "One more. Come on."
You can feel the tears sliding down your cheeks, and his eyes are wide, his expression stunned.
"Please," you gasp. "Echo, please."
"Fuck," he breathes.
It's like a switch has been flipped, and the slow, steady pace falls apart, his thrusts hard and fast. He surges forward, your back hitting the bed, and his scomp slides under your back, lifting you off the mattress.
It's too much, the new angle and the way he's staring at you, and a sob breaks from your throat, your fingers twisting in the sheets.
"Gorgeous," he breathes. "You're perfect. I love you."
There's a moment, a heartbeat where it seems like everything is suspended. His eyes are wide, and he looks almost... shocked, as if he can't believe what's happening, and something tells you that it's not just about this, about the two of you. It's bigger, somehow, deeper and more profound and the feeling that washes over you is pure, unadulterated joy.
And you can see it on his face, in the way his eyes widen and his mouth drops open. He looks like he's about to burst, and it's so raw, so perfect, and the realization hits you like a blaster bolt.
He's happy.
He's the happiest you've ever seen him, and the fact that it's because of you is overwhelming.
"Love you," he murmurs, and it's the last thing either of you say before the feeling crashes over the two of you.
You cry out, and the dam breaks. The pleasure rushes through you, hot and cold, and the waves break, sweeping over the both of you and carrying you away.
You come with a choked gasp, his name on your lips and his fingers digging into the skin of your thigh. His hips snap forward, and he grinds into you, his face twisting and a loud moan falling from his mouth at the way your body pulls him in, squeezing and pulsing around him.
"Oh, fuck," he breathes.
You cling to him, your eyes fixed on his face. He's beautiful like this, his lips parted and his cheeks flushed, his expression twisted into an expression of pure ecstasy. He holds himself there, buried to the hilt inside you as he starts to come, the first pulse of heat making you whimper.
You can feel his cock twitch, and his brow furrows, a broken sob falling from his lips. His grip on your thigh tightens, and his hips start to stutter, grinding into you and filling you up, his come dripping from you. He lets out another choked noise, and he falls forward, his weight settling on top of you and his mouth finding yours.
"So perfect," he pants, his hips rocking forward a few more times, his movements lazy and slow.
You can't respond, still gasping for air, and you can feel the way he's twitching, the way his body is shaking. It feels like forever before the feeling finally fades and Echo pulls back slightly, mindful of his weight. You can feel him dripping from where the two of you are connected, and you bite your lip, looking up at him through your lashes.
"Hi," you whisper, and he laughs, the sound breathless and a little giddy.
"Hi," he replies, grinning.
Echo's chest is heaving, his muscles quivering, and he looks absolutely wrecked. He's staring at you, his lips parted and his eyes wide, and he's looking at you the way people look at the sun after they've spent too long in the dark, like he's seeing something for the first time and never wants to look away.
"I love watching you," he says, his voice raw and hoarse. "Wish you could see yourself."
"Yeah?"
He nods and reaches up, brushing a strand of damp hair out of your face.
"So gorgeous," he murmurs. "Perfect. Wish I could stay inside you forever."
You hum, and his gaze drops, watching as he finally slides out, a trickle of his release following. He swallows, and he reaches down, his thumb slipping between your folds.
"Echo," you whine, your hips jerking a little.
"Gonna miss that," he mumbles, his tone almost dreamy.
"We've got a few days," you remind him. "And I'm not done with you yet."
He grins, and it's so boyish, so genuine and unguarded, that you find yourself reaching for him. Your hands slide up his chest, over the broad expanse of his shoulders and his neck, and your fingers brush over the spot just below his ear, tracing the edge of his jaw.
Echo leans into your touch, his eyes closing, and his head turns, his lips pressing against the inside of your wrist. You shiver and lean forward, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. He wrinkles it, his eyes still closed, and you can't help the laugh that falls from your lips.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing," you say, and he cracks one eye open, looking suspicious.
"You're laughing," he accuses.
"Because you're adorable."
His lips part, and his eyebrows rise. He doesn't say anything, but his face flushes, his cheeks going pink, and you grin.
"That's the last word I'd use to describe myself," he mutters. “Especially when I’m still inside you.”
"I think I'm the best judge of that," you point out, and he smirks, his eyes glinting.
"Well, if that's the case, I'd have to say the same about you," he teases, and he leans forward, nipping at the soft skin just below your ear. You yelp, and he chuckles, pressing another kiss to your shoulder before he pulls away, searching for his pants.
"Where are you going?" you whine.
"To order food," he says. He tugs his pants on, and the sight of him, completely naked except for the loose fitting black cargo pants, is enough to make your mouth water. "I'm starving, and if I'm going to keep this up, I'm gonna need my strength."
"You mean it?" you ask.
He raises an eyebrow.
"Did you really think I'd pass up the opportunity to have sex with the woman I love all day? In an actual bed? With an actual door that locks?"
Your heart flutters, and you grin.
"No, but I'm still glad to hear it."
"Good," he says. He walks back over, leaning down and kissing you, his lips warm and his stubble scraping against your skin.
"Order some food," you murmur, and he nods. "And maybe a bottle of wine."
"Whatever you want," he says. He steps away, and his gaze flits over you, taking in the way you're sprawled across the bed, still naked and covered in sweat and your combined release. He swallows and shakes his head, backing toward the door.
"I'll be back soon," he promises. He points a finger at you. "Don't move."
You give him a salute, and he grins, his eyes dancing.
"I love you," he says, and it's so easy, the words falling from his lips like they've always been there.
"I love you," you tell him, and the smile he gives you is enough to light up the entire room.
The door closes behind him, and you collapse back onto the pillows, closing your eyes and letting yourself revel in the feeling of the bed beneath you, the cool air drifting over your heated skin, and the lingering ache between your thighs.
This isn't how you imagined this week would go. You'd thought that it would be a brief respite, a chance to relax before heading back to the fight. You'd expected a week of stress and anxiety, of wondering if it would be the last one, and whether or not you'd get to spend any of it with the man we’re falling for despite your better judgement.
Instead, you're here, lying in a bed, in a place where there's no war and no missions and no responsibilities. For the first time in months, there's no one depending on you, no one waiting for you to save them, and no one demanding things from you that you're not sure you can give.
It's peaceful, and it's perfect, and the thought that Echo, the man who's seen and experienced more than anyone should ever have to, feels the same makes you smile.
For the first time since the war started, everything is good.
You let your eyes fall closed, and the sound of the waves is soothing, the faint noise carrying up the hill.
In the end, it's not the ocean or the house or the fact that for once, you have nothing to do.
It's him.
Echo.
He's the reason this feels like home.
And in the end, you know that's the only thing that really matters.
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