#i know i get mad easy

[inbabylontheywept]

Memories of Grandpa Dale

I was playing in the barn, but I was also hiding from my grandpa. I was aware that this hurt his feelings, but I didn’t know what else to do. Every year I’d ever visited him before, he’d seemed kind of mad at me, but I’d hoped still that year was the year that we’d finally be friends. I even made a list of things to do together. 

Unfortunately, the list did not fix things¹ so I'd been forced to acknowledge that if he couldn't be happy with me there, and he couldn't be happy with me gone, then perhaps he simply could not be happy. At least, not until someone invented The Secret Third Thing.

(But I was only nine. So. That someone would probably not be me.) 

Fortunately, being happy is a task that I've never needed to delegate - I’m actually quite good at it. I’d been sad in the barn for maybe an hour or so, but eventually that got boring, so I invented a new game where I would chase big clouds of shiny blue flies off the sun-warmed horse-poop and try to shoo them towards a corner of the barn that I knew had a large spiderweb in it. 

I was perfectly aware that this is not ideal for the flies, but I had just read Charlotte’s Web, so my empathy function was very biased towards spiders, who I perceived as patient and compassionate and slightly maternal women. Who just happened to have eight legs.  

(I, like most nine year old boys, would have personally been willing to fight a war for every patient, compassionate, slightly maternal woman I had ever met. If you, personally, have ever hugged a little boy who was trying very hard not to cry in front of his friends after skinning his knee, know that there is a child in this world that would kill in your name.)

(Now live with that knowledge.) 

I played my game with the flies for a long time. Long enough to get into a rhythm of running and laughing and then panting outside on my back while wallowing in the long green grass.

It was during one of those walks outside to lay in the grass that I noticed my mom. She was sitting on a hay bale, looking baffled. I don’t know how long she’d been there, but I was too young and confident to even feel odd. She asked me what I was doing, and I just kind of gestured to the ceiling, and said, You know, just. Feeding spiders.²

She nodded. I was feeding spiders. Of course. 

We sat there a few moments. It was an amicable silence, but I was still faintly relieved when she broke it.  

Your grandpa’s been looking for you, she said. He got some grapes earlier. Wanted to take you to feed the ducks.

I've always really liked feeding ducks³. Visiting them had actually been the next thing on my list. 

I was baffled by the effort. 

He’s mad at me, I pointed out. My mom, to her credit, looked genuinely confused. 

He’s not, she said. 

But he was mad when we picked blackberries, I pointed out. And when we went on that walk down to the prairie. And he snapped at me this morning when I asked if I could have some of his dried mangos. 

The mangos had been my last straw. The weirdest part was that he didn’t even say no, he just (angrily) said of course you can, as if it was an insult to his hospitality that I was asking when just the year before he’d yelled at me because I ate a tin of dried apples. Apparently, I was just supposed to know that those apples were exclusively reserved for The Apocalypse. 

(To be fair, my grandpa has always been very worried about the apocalypse, but mostly in the context of not having enough dried apples for it. There was a period of my life where I thought that The Apocalypse referred to some kind of prophesied biblical event where there would be No More Apples. This thought has stuck with me for a very long time⁴.)

Well. Yeah. My mom said. He’s mad. But he’s not mad at you. He’s just… Mad. 

I mulled this over. 

What about the mangos? I asked, and she shrugged at that. 

Alright, so that time he was mad at you, but that’s being mad one time in three days. Cut the man some slack, you’ve been asking him for permission before eating anything. 

I just don’t want to eat the wrong thing, I said. I’ve always been very defensive of my rule-following. Both because rules are important, and also because that #10 can of dried apples ripped through me like a shotgun full of razor blades⁵. That “snack” had 400% the recommended daily fiber for an adult man. And I was very definitely not a grown man when I ate it.  

It was a very painful experience is what I am trying to say. 

I know, my mom said. 

I don’t even like apples, I added. Still defensive. 

I know, my mom said again. She’s very good at saying it. It always feels like she’s agreeing with me, and not just trying to rush me onto The Point. Sometimes, people need to make detours from The Point in order to explain things. Like, hypothetically, why they once ate a very large number of dehydrated apples. My mom is wise, and she has always known this. . 

I just really wanted to eat something sweet, I continued. They don’t keep anything sweet in the whole house. The day before I ate those apples, I licked all the salt off a saltine just so I could eat the cracker plain. And then the cracker tasted just like a cookie. To me. That’s how crazy I was going. 

My mom nodded her head sympathetically. 

My first month of college, she said conspiratorially, I ate about a box of poptarts a day. 

There was another longish pause as both of us considered what led us to this point. 

My parents are crazy, my mom said at long last. It’s a very peaceful statement to her. I'm sure it was stressful when she first realized it, but she's had a long time to make her peace, and she's made it well.  

Will you go with me? I asked. To feed the ducks?  

He’s not mad at you, she said again. Reemphasizing her point. He’s just mad. It’s just how he is. 

But she went with me anyway.

I watched Grandpa Dale closely the whole way to the pond to see if my mom was right. She was. She almost always is.  He was angry while he drove, and he was angry while he parked and he was even angry while he strode purposefully towards the park. When we got there, he took several grapes, and he angrily put them in his hand, and angrily extended the hand towards the ducks, and he looked at me, and for maybe a tenth of a second he looked okay. Not exactly happy, but a little less mad. Then a duck bit the webbing between his pointer finger and his thumb.

He immediately, without hesitation, without even a second thought, hit the duck with a haymaker⁶. For a human, the punch would have been devastating, but the duck had the benefit of having essentially no inertia, so it just kind of moved sideways and looked perplexed. 

You son of a bitch, my grandpa said. This is a funny thing for anyone to say to a duck, but it was especially funny to hear coming from a former Mormon Bishop. 

Quack,⁷ said the duck. 

My mom started laughing. I'd felt a sort of holy terror at the anger my grandpa was exuding in that moment, but the moment she laughed I realized how absurd it was. I was watching a grown man beef with a duck. I was watching a grown man beef with the world. 

I started laughing too. In a better world, maybe my grandpa would've joined. Maybe he would've taken a good hard look in the mirror and questioned why exactly he was so angry. But he didn't. Instead he swore at the duck some more, and he threw his remaining handful of grapes at it overhand, like a baseball, and then the duck ate the grapes out of the water, and my mom actually laughed so hard she started dry heaving a little, and my grandpa had to go sit in the car for a few minutes by himself to regain his composure. 

¹ He managed to pick blackberries angrily

² Unfortunately, I do this kind of response quite a bit.

³ I got my first kiss from my wife because I managed to capture a duck. They're like, a motif for my life. Very lucky to have that.

⁴ I reference it again in this very weird short story.

⁵ I eat a lot of strange things.

⁶ My wife is concerned people will not know what a haymaker is. It is simply the most redneck kind of punch.

⁷ ...What did you expect it to say?

[mbat]

i yet again do NOT understand why people think that what happened to steven in future came out of nowhere. the main show beats it into the ground how fucked up all this stuff has him! just cause he ends the main show in a good place doesnt mean that everything was solved! he solved the gem stuff but not himself, that was the whole point!

like. those people show that they didnt even pay attention to the show AND they dont understand trauma. like. shut the fuck up !!!!

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Charles representation enjoyed here again! I’ve not read much of the comics bc I can’t afford them but I just rewatched FC and I was wondering if Charles being paralyzed is the same in the comics (Erik doing it)? Do they often include that part of his story?

hello my inquisitive friend :] !!!! im more than happy to give some more info bout the origins charles' disability in the comics- to the best of my abilities that is !

while they don't include an origin for his paralysis in EVERY story/run, as far as i know there are three major ways charles loses his mobility (though like yourself, i havent read many of the comics so far, so i could be missing a few. this is the part where i invite readers to submit additional info if im leaving any out)

the very first manner of charles losing his legs was relayed to us in the original X-Men run of the 60's in issue #20

(X-Men #20: "I, Lucifer!")

before magneto was regarded as charles' main adversary there was the extraterrestrial lucifer (who sported the same color scheme, ironically. it wasnt as though lucifer came before magneto so it was definitely A Choice..) who charles would have a semi-reoccurring feud with for a bit early on in the series. during their first encounter, charles would corner lucifer in his lair only to have a stone slab dropped on him, disabling his legs indefinitely

the second manner in which charles loses his mobility- and the time where erik is the most involved and is most deliberate- comes from. Our Favorite Universe in 2001: The Ultimate Universe

(Ultimate X-Men #1: "The Tomorrow People")

as is typically how charles x magneto team-up arcs go, while charles and erik worked together for some time it wasn't very long before erik wanted to pursue more Dramatic Measures for mutantkind. and As This Story Goes, amidst trying to escape the savage lands sanctuary he and erik built, erik drove a metal spike through charles' spine, leading to his disability in this verse

lastly, we have the House of M- or more specifically its prequel miniseries, Civil War: House of M- verse in 2008:

(Civil War: House of M #2: "Revolution")

(Civil War: House of M #3: "Reign")

similar to Ultimate and the movies, this is another timeline where charles and erik team up. this time however, charles is more willing to follow erik's ideas after seeing the horrors of genosha upon reading the mind of a mutant who escaped the island, and the two seek to liberate the other mutants left behind. unfortunately, during their mission, a sentinel collapses the building charles and co. are infiltrating, leading to the loss of his legs

hope you had fun reading- i had fun typing up everything and looking back at these issues :] !

[ganondoodle]

Sorry ab the shitty English translations/localizations, it's bc they think that Americans won't get it otherwise (bc when we act stupid, we act REALLY stupid), our bad 💀

[etirabys]

idk if I'll have energy to expand on this, but the first two books of the Mirror Visitor quartet (French fantasy/adventure series with a core romance) have a crazy powerful creative hold on me. It's been years and I still linger on the vibe of it when I want a nice mental texture to stroke

[septimusmoonlight]

You doing ok?

hi

[skunkes]

Nooooo that sad little smunkler has broken my heart! Wtf Talon stop being so mean to him for no reason!!! >:[

its okay, he just has bad days sometimes

[day-mark]

god i fucking love competitive play, i love watching high level, skilled gameplay from passionate players, i love learning the statistics for each player and the game as a whole, i love hearing everyone and especially the casters glaze the fuck out of my favorite players. mc summit/mojang and mc.c you will be fucking dealt with .

[vaggieslefteye]

HELL'S GREATEST DAD ↳ from Hazbin Hotel Season One (2024): 1x05 - "Dad Beat Dad"

[a-very-sparkly-nerd]

When we get the Rayllum reconciliation, I need both of them to apologize. Yes, Rayla left and in a really bad way, but Callum messed up, too. He kept trying to get her to move on because he knows she deserves to be okay, but refused to read all the signs she gave. They both messed up and hurt each other, and you can't be mad at one of them without being mad at the other no matter how few or how many details you have about the situation.

[flunkett]

my mom doesnt let me do anything and i figured out why. she thinks im stupid

[lgbtlunaverse]

I don't think we talk about xiyao exes to lovers enough. I understand that in canon the "breakup" ended with death and imo it was never going to end any other way (I have a lot of feelings about how jgy is doomed from the start) but even in aus where survival is an option I barely ever see their full potential realized. The fact that there is this heartbreaking gap that is between them now, and yet that, despite it all, they can't stop loving each other. When you have drama this good, why is the conflict relegated to outside threats and we end up with little to no exploration of internal strife, of the fact that these guys have been living a domestic lie for a decade (I cannot stress this enough, the amount of parralels between xiyao and jgy's marriage to qin su are staggering.)

And let me be clear I will NEVER begrudge anyone their hurt/comfort and wanting their faves who are denied happiness and peace at every turn to find it. god knows I need that sometimes. Or even the less healthy but so emotionally devastating fics where the caring isn't good, and it doesn't fix anything- might only make things worse, actually- and xichen ends up recreating his father's fate. I love all of those things. But. Man. This divorce was over 11 years in the making it should take AT LEAST that long to resolve. What do you do when the person you trusted the most lied to you for years? What do you do when the only person who's ever believed in you loses that faith so completely they'd hurt you over a lie without hesitation? I need me some xiyao who try to get over each other for 20 years and fail. I need them to meet after not seeing each other for years and have it hurt like no time has passed at all. I need arguments where no one raises their voice but that feel like a screaming match anyway. Do you see my vision?? Do you see what we could have?

(if fics that do exacly this are out there, recs are of course welcome)

[hotteststar]

okay lemme just get serious for a moment here bc i cant seem to get this straight

do you all realize how easy it would actually be to fix the world? literally, everything that is going wrong today would be so easy to stop, and yet.

"It's not that simple, not everyone thinks the same way..." rights. I'm talking bout rights. You know how everyone understands that murder is a bad thing? It's because they've always been taught that. It can be used as a means of propaganda (it's happening rn i mean), but the moment the values instilled are equality and respect, it's not anymore because no one benefits from it, so... why ain't we doing that?

"But wars.." Stop creating weapons. Enough. I don't care about technological progress. Stop building piece by piece the knife that humanity is sticking into its chest. "And the people who go hunting..?" oh no, your hobby of killing innocent, healthy and harmless animals for fun is now prohibited! What a shame! Really guys, I couldn't care less.

"But God said..." No. Believe what you want but keep it to yourself, no one is forced to do anything just because it is written in a book called holy by people indoctrinated to believe it.

"But it takes time to change everyone's habits, ways of living, traditions..." time? We don't have that. In case you haven't noticed, the planet we live on is dying. If you want to waste more time making excuses, go ahead, it won't wait for you to be ready, will it?

There are two solutions: we wake up and change this society, or we become extinct.

You choose, I'm fine with both, and so is the planet.

[tulipe-rose]

Kazuha, sweetie, I'm not your biggest fan, but I'm going to be incredibly honest with you right now, and that's because I don't really understand what you're expecting from Heiji atp.

You're his self proclaimed, so called, 'older sister'. The first thing you do when you meet a friend of his, or a supposed girlfriend to be more accurate, is introduce yourself as his older sister. Whenever anyone claims that there's any romance between you guys, you refute it and call him your stupid little brother.

GIRL.

EVEN I STARTED TO GET MIXED SIGNALS AT ONE POINT. If not for the blushing we clearly see as the audience I would've been soldified in my belief that it's unrequited love for Heiji. Dramatic irony at it's finest.

Either way– WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HIM?? You keep brother-zoning him to the point where only the Hattori Heji himself could be so stubborn to ignore this weird girl reverse psychology that would keep any other guy at a two meter distance.

Don't think you're any better, though, Heiji. If any third party who had never watched dcmk before had to give their opinion after looking at the overall confession bull crap you've been stalling these past three decades they'd think you're trying to impress Shinichi, not Kazuha. Won't blame them, I myself am pretty confused.

Who is this confession for???? KAZUHA.

THEN WHO TF IS SHINICHI TO THIS RELATIONSHIP AND WHY IS ONE UPPING HIM DETRIMENTAL TO Y'ALL?? WHY DOES HIS OPINION MATTER?? WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT OF THIS CONFESSION ANYMORE?? You're not even trying to think like ‘Oh, I'm doing this because Kazuha only deserves the best’ NO. IT'S ALL BIG BEN THIS KUDO THAT. I feel kinda bad for Kazuha.

Don't even get me started on how awkward it is to keep being so possessive over her when y'all aren't even an item (I'M LOOKING AT YOU TOO SHINICHI. GLARING REAL HARD HERE.). If she's seeing some other guy (which would never happen because of course she has fallen head over heals for you. Ugh- this is triggering my gag reflex.) then leave her be, because you either act like a chicken after being all bark and no bite or idk, grow a spine and fricking confess??? You can't go around calling her yours and then noping out of a confession. God my blood pressure keeps spiking because of these blockheaded teenagers I need to go take a few deep breaths.

I would like to know what they actually even talk about or bond over. From what I understood, Kazuha really likes the sound of his katana when he practices, which is high-key weird and makes me feel deaf cause how do you even hear that sort of stuff? And... What does Heiji like about her again? These guys need to explain what they like about their crushes more often. Or at least maybe ask themselves about it every once in a while, yk, just to make sure all of this stress is worth it. I will NOT be talking about Aoko and Kaito purely for the sake of my heart and blood pressure; they can only handle one dcmk couple at a time.

In conclusion, a man with an unresolved inferiority/superiority complex–because he somehow has both–so severe he cannot function without making it about his rival should not be looking for a relationship before seeing a therapist. Thank God his actual friendship with Shinichi isn't an eighth as bad as you'd think it should be; they're one of the most iconic duos ever, let's just keep their love lives outta the mix (Heiji is high-key supportive though, so there's that ig).

Edit: Came back after I realized I phrased my opinion on Heiji and Shinichi's friendship in a way that was easy to misinterpret. What I mean to say is that they're my favorite dcmk duo but I just can't stand how Heiji prioritizes one upping Shinichi rather than getting his feelings out there. I say Heiji ditches Kazuha as a love interest and forms a trio with Shinichi and Shiho. They'd be unstoppable homies that would do the unspeakable for each other.

[worstloki]

My issue with Thor not ‘realizing’ why Loki was acting off in Avengers 1 isn’t that Thor didn’t recognise Loki was acting unlike himself—Thor did note that—or that Thor didn’t figure out what was wrong—he did try asking—it’s more along the lines of Thor giving up, and that he accepted Loki was bad now within two days while knowing something was off when Thor himself behaved just as bad for much longer before without any specific compromising event.

[arkiwii]

very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around

have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along