#i know i cant blame anyone. no one owes me help and support. it just hurts very much

[caluski]

begging for help is really strange. people say you need to be direct and specific, but it doesnt do anything. every relationship feels like im stuck behind a two-way mirror.

[compassionatereminders]

I apologize for the upcoming rant, but I don't have anyone else to say this to.

I have an online friend who's dear to me. As a content creator, I love to promote their works in secret, even sending harmless rumors to get fans riled up, because their reaction is so endearing! I too used to create things but mental health tends to be an obstacle, but I will never stop supporting my friends.

However, recently I realized how said friend seems to ignore boundaries, and ignore me if my opinion isn't even slightly interesting to them. I unconsciously became a form of entertainment, only ever thinking of catering to their interests or else I will be disregarded. It reached to a point where I questioned my own identity. I actually (and painfully) confronted them about it, and as expected, it was difficult on both of us but we decided to move on.

My issue is that, I don't know if they truly understood the problem, because it's practically the same thing all over again now, except we rarely talk anymore. I know people express care in very different manners but being ridiculed in front of others for fun, or ridiculed for talking passionately about a subject you like as a joke sits wrong with me. They did this to other people, and i sort of fixed the situation after thry realized they were wrong. I sometimes feel like they only ever speal to me if i benefit them in a certain way. Their previous relationships say they put themselves on a high pedestal, and i feel thats so mean, but i cant help but understand the feeling. I compared them to a recent friendship I made, and the amount of compliments I receive, even if silly, exceed my other friend's, whom I've known for years.

They tend to blame themselves a lot, and so I'm worried about talking about this again and making them panic like last time, or whenever their other friendships end. I also worry that I'm the one who's overreacting (im autistic and i sometimes over analyze things), and that maybe I should just ignore things as I usually did and go do something productive for once. Be the bigger person, as they say.

Otherwise, thank you very much for listening to this mindless rant. I love your blog, take care <3

You don't owe anyone endless patience. Especially not people who aren't facing their issues and actively working on them. Blaming yourself and panicking to the point of changing the subject is not a constructive way to respond to valid criticism. Especially not if that's all which ever comes from it. In that case it is more likely to be manipulation - even if subconscious - than actual reflection and remorse. So if this "friend" is repeatedly treating you like shit and you aren't even able to start a constructive conversation about their behavior and how it's been affecting you, then it's probably time to take a step back.

[reyhospacebitch]

I cant stop thinking about how everyone Daisy has ever loved, romantically or platonically, always ended up leaving her for one reason or another and even the people who *do* stay, only stay at arms length until Daniel Sousa appeared.

every time a romantic partner didnt like something she does or believes, its held against her or someone runs.

Miles? He wasnt who she thought he was yes but he didnt handle her changing well at allll. Uncompromising, he wanted her to give up the team and her mission (at the time, to find her parents) and when she refused he bolted, blaming HER even though *he* was the one who got people killed.

Ward? Omfg this was such a shit show. She blamed herself for not seeing his manipulations sooner and emotionally takes on the blame for Keonig’s death. And then the entire team judged her for having feelings for him despite not knowing in such a cringe way, Daisy was full on forced to choose Ward or Everyone Else constantly. Yet again Daisy was punished for having feelings for someone who used those feelings against her.

Lincoln? He was the most supportive of her romantic pairings but he always had one foot out the door, understandably. He hated SHIELD, had his own massively unresolved issues and overall just never really gave Daisy the support she needed. It wasnt his fault. It wasnt anyones fault. He was just young and Dealing With Shit like Daisy was. And yet Even when he sacrificed his life for her, moments before he ran from her. When she reached her breaking point and asked to go back to HIVE Lincoln’s response to her severe trauma of being mind controlled was to break up with her... And to tell her she needed to work on herself, which yes she needed therapy but 😫

for someone who was abandoned her entire life by adults for making the Smallest of mistakes (ie look at her convo with jiaying about breaking a glass at a foster home) to punish her when she needs to be hugged is the most traumatizing shit ever. And yet it happened over and over again.

And not just by boyfriends.... Repeatedly Jemma and Coulson held her feelings for Ward against her in ways that felt unfair. And what about the time she left SHIELD because Lincoln died and she couldnt handle anything anymore? The woman was suicidal and desperate. Coulson and Mack just wanted to help so they chased after her - though I honestly dont think they knew what she needed in that moment and thats why she didnt come in. However, Fitz? Fitz took her leaving as a personal attack, as her abandoning him and the team. Yes he has his own trauma around abandonment so I get why he wouldnt take it well, but he threw it in her face Multiple Times as if she had done a great ~Sin~ by leaving the team. He held it against her as a personal failing in a way that was completely unfair. SHIELD is a job. She didn’t owe SHIELD her mental health. Since joining she had experienced so much loss (her mother, father AND a boyfriend) on top of all the deaths and torture she blamed herself for AND being mind controlled and almost dying multiple times??? Her friends and family should have hugged her and sent to a good therapist, not yell at her for not handling her trauma the way *they* wanted. I adore the SHIELD family and know they are all incredibly flawed and human and thats what makes the show so meaningful but you cant deny the fact that Rarely has Daisy ever been showed unconditional love on this show.

But this is all IMPORTANT context for why Daisy is so blown away by what Daniel Sousa tells her in the time loop. The fact that he Sees her and just wants to Be There to support her? Its something Daisy has secretly always wanted but was too afraid to ask for. She’s been hurt so many times and yet here is this man who literalllly just died for her, who is now telling her he wants to always be there to pick her back up? The way this would blow Daisy’s mind and hit at some desire buried so deep she prob cant even vocalize it just makes me. 🥺 The meaningfulness of him constantly offering to help and just Be There For Her is impossible to fully explain. I just - Im so fucking soft for them.

[little-lizziej]

"Will you talk to him?" Alya asks Marinette as she takes a seat on her chase, the soft cushions support Marinette's back as she talks with Alya.

"No" the bluenette shakes her head. "I broke them up, I'm the reason his heart got broken." Marinette lets out a sigh before lifting her legs and hugging them. "How am I supposed to even look at him?" She asks.

Alya looks at her best friend with pity, she had earlier said that out of everyone Adrien deserved love the most, but she had been wrong. She deserves it the most. Marinette deserves it the most. "It's not your fault Marinette" Alya shakes her head.

"Yes it is" She whispers, cutting her best friend off.

"No!" Alya exclaims and stands up from the chaise frustratedly. "It's Kagami's fault, yes you liked him! You loved him! But you also respected him...and her!" She yelled as she started pacing around the room. She just couldn't believe it, Kagami managed to make her best friend believe this was her fault when it wasn't.

"A relationship isn't made out of three people Marinette, and she shouldn't have talked to you about it, she should've talked to her boyfriend about it. You don't owe anything to her, he does. Because he is in the relationship"

"I was still a bad friend! Maybe I'm not in the relationship but I am her friend...and friends don't do that. I had to respect her and her boundaries because of our friendship and that's final"

"A friend?" Alya asks with a scoff. "You think what she did was friend-approved?"

Marinette stays silent, she knows Kagami was indeed a bad friend. Friends don't make them ignore their feelings or friends, they don't hurt each other. They encourage and respect each other's feelings.

Marinette shrugs her shoulders as she lets out a tired sigh. "She was a bad friend" She whispers with a nod, "but she liked him...and I know better than anyone that love makes you do crazy things"

"You also know how to love" Alya narrows her eyes at the wall as she sits beside Marinette. "You know how to love your friends"

"I think she's just confused"

"I don't care" Alya grits out, "you hate being selfish so I'll be selfish for you. You were here first, you liked him first. You loved him first"

"I don't even know what love is" Marinette cuts her best friend off. "Maybe I wasn't in love with him...maybe I just loved him as a friend"

...

"Kagami stop" Adrien clenches his jaw as he watches his ex girlfriend approach him once again. He takes several steps back and tires to maintain the distance between them.

"Adrien please!" She whines, "I-I made a mistake!"

"No Kagami!" He yells without a care about who listens. "You hurt her"

"So what if I did? She's just Marinette!"

"Just Marinette? She's the nicest and most caring girl I've ever met. She has done absolutely nothing to you!"

"She loves you!" Kagami yells and instantly regrets it. He didn't know that. Adrien didn't know that.

"No she doesn't!" The young model shakes his head in denial.

"Stop being so oblivious Adrien! Why do you think she made you that scarf on your birthday? Or why she has so many pictures of you on her wall? Or why she stutters and gets super nervous when you're around? She's in love with you!"

"She made that scarf?" He asks her unable to think about anything else.

"That's not important!" Kagami rolls her eyes and hears him approaching.

"Yes it is!" Adrien yells as he grabs her softly by the shoulders. "Kagami we are not getting back together"

"Fine" Kagami whispers after a few seconds, she opens the door of his room and looks back at him. "It's your loss anyways" she grins before slamming the door closed.

Adrien lets out a sigh as he sits down on his bed with his hands pulling at his hair. "Grr I swear if you had just let me at her!" Plagg exclaims as he comes out of his hiding spot. "I hate that girl!"

"Why do you hate her?" Adrien asks.

"She hurt Marinette, no one touches my princess" the black kwami growls. "She makes the best cheese puffs!" He adds before letting out a dreamy sigh.

Adrien stays silent, he can't help but think about Kagami's words. She's in love with you. She's in love with me. Those two sentences keep repeating over and over in his head. Plagg glances at his holder and tilts his head to the side in wonder. "What are you thinking about kid?" He asks him.

"Do you think Marinette is in love with me?" He lifts his head and watches Plagg.

Plagg's eyes widen as he takes another bite put of his Camembert cheese. He swallows before taking a deep breath, "well..."

"What?" The young model asks him with a frown.

"I need more cheese" Plagg groans. Suddenly, a shoe flies his way. Plagg dodges the shoe and places his hand on his chest. "Well someone has issues" he mumbles under his breath before letting out a laugh. "Oh I'm so funny!"

"Plagg!" Adrien exclaims.

"Ok ok!" Plagg yells as he throws his hands in the air. "I think she is in love with you...can I have more cheese now?"

"Ugh" Adrien groans, "this just complicates everything"

"I thought you already knew?"

"I knew she liked me! Not loved me!"

"Potato, poTaTo it's the same thing" Plagg rolls his eyes and shrugs. He just couldn't believe his holder was complicating things so much. If he was in this position with his Camembert he would just eat it. He wouldn't complicate his life so much.

"It's not! You don't get it Plagg, my father has never said he loved me! The only person that's said it is Kagami. How am I supposed to know how to feel?"

"You love her kid" Plagg sighs as he approaches Adrien and sits on his shoulder. "Just don't hurt her"

...

The classroom is filled with chatter as usual, only this time there is only one topic to talk about. Why did Kagami and Adrien break up?

Maybe it's none of their business, but they can't help but wonder why? And how it affected not only Adrien but a certain bluenette. To say they're worried is an understatement, said bluenette has been there for every single person in the class, even Sabrina and Lila.

It's only natural for the class to feel worried about their friend, she's always supported and helped them in every way possible. She's always been an amazing person to count on, and although they do like Adrien, the place Marinette holds in their hearts is far bigger.

"Hey guys!" Greets Adrien as he walks into the classroom. Everyone immediately quiets down and stares at him.

"Hey dude" smiles Nino and holds out his fist. With a smile, Adrien bumps his fist against Nino's. "How are you feeling dude?" Upon te question everyone listens in, eager to know how their friend has taken the break up.

"Surprisingly ok" Adrien chuckles with a shrug. Everyone lets out a sigh of relief but doesn't stop worrying. There is after all a certain designer who is yet to confirm her feelings.

"Adrien" Alya greets him with a nod, she isn't sure how to feel, a part of her is happy for him. Maybe the model hadn't realized it himself but...his relationship had started becoming toxic.

Without a doubt many had noticed, but said nothing. Their opinion hadn't been asked and Adrien looked happy. They, however, couldn't stay out of it anymore. Adrien wasn't only getting affected by this, but Marinette was too.

The young designer knew how much her friend deserved, and to see the way his own girlfriend and father treated him killed her.

"Good morning everyone!" Said Ms.Bustier  as she walked through the door. Everyone greeted her back and sat down in their respective seats.

"I'm here!" Marinette yelled as she ran inside the classroom, late true to Marinette's fashion. "I'm sorry madam!" The bluenette ducked her head as she apologized and made her way to her seat.

Because her head was firmly on the floor, Marinette didn't catch Adrien looking at her dreamily.

"It's alright Marinette just don't let it happen again" Ms.Bustier sighs knowing very well it will happen again.

"Can I talk to you after class Marinette?" Asks Adrien after he turns to look at the bluenette. Marinette's eyes widen before she quickly nods and shifts her gaze away from him. "Great" Adrien says with a grin.

Eventually the class ends and the classroom empties, "where uh...do you want to talk?" Marinette asks Adrien refusing to meet his eyes. Although it cant be further form the truth, Marinette couldn't help but firmly believe that in just a few seconds she'd be blamed for her friend's broken heart.

"I'm sorry Kagami made you feel that way Marinette" Adrien apologizes and reaches for the blunette's hand. He laces his fingers with hers as he lightly tugs on her hand pulling her closer. "I never ever want to loose you" he whispers.

"It's all my fault" Marinette mutters looking away from him, "you shouldn't be apologizing"

"It was never your fault" Adrien denies as he shakes his head. "Kagami shouldn't have done that, she shouldn't have gotten in between our friendship"

"Did you get hurt?" Marinette whispers making the model chuckle and shake his head once again.

"You ignoring me hurt a lot more than Kagami leaving me" he smiles as he grabs Marinette by the waist.

"Really?" Marinette asks finally looking at him.

"Yeah" Adrien whispers, "did you make that scarf for me on my birthday?"

Marinette's eyes widen as she recalls the blue scarf. "H-how did you-"

"So you did" Adrien interrupts her. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks.

Marinette shrugs and squeezes his hand, smiling when the action is returned. "You looked so happy and I...I didn't want to take that away from you"

Adrien looks at Marinette with wide eyes, no one had ever cared about him so much. A warm feeling takes over him as butterflies appear on his stomach making him feel all kinds of ways.

"Do you love me Marinette?" Adrien asks feeling hopeful.

"I-I used to, but I shoved those feelings away when Kagami and you started dating"

"So not anymore?"

"No" Marinette shakes her head, "not anymore"

Adrien's stomach sinks at her words. It's such a shame he finally realized he loved her just as she stopped loving him.

Previous chapter

Next chapter

Start

[d20trashcan]

It's very weird to know some people consider themselves "staples" of a fandom. To claim you created something in a fandom or be the leader of something is so bizarre to me. Especially when the contribution isnt original?

I dont claim myself to be anyone important in the fandom. I just liveblog, write a few posts and comments and do minimal art. I mostly reblog shit. There other creators, usually artists, that I consider bigger and probably figureheads of the fandom. Not going to name names but you know who they are.

So, when I see someone claim they helped create something or popularize something in a fandom, I kinda question it? Idk, it just seems kinda narcissistic. Especially when the popularization becomes dangerous and controversial.

I havent commented on it cause it's not really my place nor my business to talk about it at its peak but the fandom discourse that had went around like for a few weeks have been interesting to see. I dont mean interesting as in fun but as in an analytical way, blamed my biology background.

Anyways, from what I've seen, I cant help but feel disappointed but also reluctant.

It's one thing to criticize people but it's another to send hate? Death threats and hate mail defeat the purpose of criticism and invalidate the critique of the criticized. There is no chance of learning or accepting fault when all they can think is people are just haters or trolls. I agree with the criticism being made but I dont agree how the degree of backlash that had happened?

Then again, when the criticized do not listen and are adamant about their opinions, it makes it hard to sympathize, especially when it's such a controversial topic? When you take to heart how many people are peacefully standing away from you or feel like people owe you for doing something for a portion of an audience, it feels kinda manipulative? When you dont own up to your mistakes and blame the person who made it evident of your mistakes, its just very hard for me to show empathy.

Cancel culture is weird cause I understand why it's important but the ways of going about it can be dangerous and harsh.

I like to think the best in people but there are just some facts that prevent me from being able to do do. But there comes to a point where my unwillingness to support someone is questioned and interpreted as following the bandwagon or if it's because I see validity in the criticism.

Maybe I'm no better. Maybe I come across as narcissistic or annoying because of my comments on people's posts or tweets, making myself sound buddy buddy with people who I'm not. Maybe I come across as attention seeking or guilt tripping during to my insecurities of my art and my position in the fandom in general. I want to start being known for art but that's really a roll of the dice. Its dependent of my abilities, my time and honestly, my self confident. I dont try to be seen as a selfish person but maybe I am.

But that's why criticism and the willingness to listen to it is so important. If some many people are saying the same thing, telling you something is not right, shouldnt you listen?

[yunasightx]

So, I recently saw @rondoel was interested in hearing about Mcmercy Headcannons if Mccree and Mercy if were to have a happy ending , even if that’s not exactly how they picture their story themselves.

So, well , if anyone is interested in some Cowboy and Angel fluff (after a healthy amount of angst)) .. let me dust off the headcannons that have been collection dust for the last few years. Hope you enjoy !

Warning LONG Post / info dump incoming

Disclaimer: I headcannon Mcmercy as a slow burn couple who go from teenaged orphans who find a home in overwatch,to reluctant teammates , to friends who develop crushes , to lovers over the events of the story of Overwatch. ( there also might be a bit of fiddeling with the time line here, since Blizzard cant seem to make up their mind on how old Angela was when she was approached by Overwatch to join vs when Gabe gave Jesse his ultimatum)

Headcannon time!!

When Retribution happens Angela and Jesse (who are about 29-30 at this point) have been low-key daiting for about 7-8 years , (Because of their high profiles and responsibilities within Overwatch and Blackwatch, and because neither of them likes making a fuss about it, only the higher ranking memembers they are close to know they are together. When they are on the field, their jobs come first and they remain professional... with a few teases , flirts ,and hand holding snuck in here and there. But ultimately , getting the job done and keeping the team safe are their primary goals. ).

Before everything went to hell in a hand basket with Overwatch and Blackwatch, they started tentatively talking about next steps in their relationship. It’s no question that they wanted to stay together at this point ,but they were not in a rush for something like a wedding or kids at that moment. Jesse likes the idea to ultimenly have that one day if they can , and Angela.. doesn’t exactly hate it. It’s never been her thing before, but being with Jesse does it make her consider it .

Between the fall of the Swiss base/ disbanding of the Orignal OW and the Recall:

Jesse keeps track of when Dr Ziegler’s name is mentioned in the news , espically when Reaper starts going after former Overwatch members. He uses his contacts in the trafficking rings to get supplies to whatever relief camp or distaster she is helping with. And he’s still in contact with Genji , who he asks to make sure Angela is safe... even though the ninja is like “you know, she’s in Central America right now. You can go see her. She’s not mad at you. Well... not that mad anymore. And you know as well as I do that Angela can handel herself, you don’t have to worry about the bounty all the time. Why not set up a vacation in Fiji?”

(Ana joins in on this after Angela finds out she and jack are both alive. Jack doesn’t care because he’s never really liked the punk Gabe brought back from Route 66 and always though Angela deserved better. )

Meanwhile, Angela keeps track of every news article on Jesse being spotted and the bounty on is head for his arrest. She has a little map with marks following his sightings, and complains to Genji that he needs to be more careful. Since she moves around so often for when she is needed , she doesn’t keep many belongings — the acception beating a certain Deadlock belt buckle that was left to her and a shelf full of wooden figureines that Jesse would widdle during his downtime on missions and leave on her desk over the years. She’s the one who actually finds out about the location of Echo and through Genji and Baptise tracks down Sombra to pass the info to Jesse (in return she offers the information she knows about Moria and the basis of why she wanted her research , and possibly being able to reverse Ameile’s condition. )

Echo then gets in on this , because when Jesse told her “ They want me, but they need you.” She realizes he was talking about Angela after the others filled her in on everything that’s happened since while she was asleep. That Jesse didn’t want Angela to blame herself for what happened at the Swiss base, and the world did need Mercy again.

Post Recall:

Cue to Genji , Zen, and Ana tracking down Jesse and then pretty much dragging him and Hanzo back to the Gibraltar base — because he needs to stop being stubborn. Also cue Pharah, mei and echo telling Angela that she needs to stop being stubborn and stop avoiding him on base like an akward teen.

Eventually, they slowly start to pick up where they left off. It’s akward at first because they are still working through their own regrets and fears of letting people they cared about down, and wondering if they are on the same page while they try to figure out how to run the new Overwatch. They never stopped loving each other, but it takes time for them to find their footing again outside the battle field, espically since Jesse still has his bounty and can rarely leave the base.

Over time , Jesse naturally starts becoming the one that trains the new faces of Overwatch and eventually has his bounty lifted to where he can help lead missions , and Jack even recommends him as the new Striketeam leader ( that role he eventually passes on to Tracer in a few years ) Meanwhile, Angela works on establishing the infermary for Overwatch and working with the new supports and medics to get everything back inform to help people and fight talon.

As far as marriage or even a wedding, Angela is fine with just them understanding who they are to each other , and they don’t need a piece of paper to prove that. Jesse’s a little bit more a romanti —-nothing big and fussy , but he at least wants to exchange rings. They agree on a small ceremony on base with Reinhardt witnessing.... but, pharah, genji, Ana, echo , torb, Lena , and Brigitte go to town and end up decorating the whole base.

As far as kids .... They have their own reservations and fears about being able to be parents , but they ultimently just come to the decision to try, and if it happens it happens.

..........first try and they get landed with twins XD.

Jesse is banned from picking the names of American outlaws, so he goes with famous ones from other countries. Angela keeps going with names from one from Norse mythology ( ie: Tyr, Eri, Freya,Odin...but ABSOLUTELY no Loki.)

(Then , another little girl about two and a half years later . They also have a ranch in Montanta where they spend their downtime and have winter holidays with the overwatch crew. It’s been jesse’s project he been working on once he got off probation after joint Blackwatch)

Thanks for checking out this installment of “ when a writer who is a nerd has too much time on their hands”.

[owlespresso]

closer, closer / Ryuji Sakamoto

warning: smut ahead. I’m not gonna tag it because tumblr will censor me. :))) Tip Jar / Commission Information

“Aw, damn, c’mon—” Ryuji’s voice moaned softly in your ear, his hot breath against your neck. His lips kissed along the heated skin of your neck. Your hips wiggled desperately against his knee, head lolling back, a silent plea for more. His hands fumbled for purchase on your thighs, grip tight and needy. Warm, warm, warm, his body pressed up against yours, his leg rubbing in between yours.

Your lips opened around a loud whine, but he silenced you with a firm kiss, pressing you back into the wall. The hard, cool surface gave you no room to wiggle against, nowhere to go, and that sent a shock of arousal down your spine in the form of a shiver. Your gasps melded against the dingy air, thighs squeezing around his leg. Ryuji gave a small, breathless chuckle, teeth scraping against your heated skin.

His hand pressed against the small of your back, forcing you as close together as possible. You shut your eyes, biting your lip to keep your noises from spilling out. Despite how hazy your mind was getting, you remembered that anyone could walk by at any second. As embarrassing as the thought was, it still made your thighs rub together.

A bucket on the floor clanged against the door, jolting you from your pleasure-induced haze.

In retrospect, letting him tug you into one of the small closets on campus in between classes hadn’t been a great idea. But you were never good at saying “no” to him, especially when he looked at you with those cute, puppy dog eyes.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Ryuji mumbles, pressing several, repetitive kisses against your lips, like he can’t bear to be away from you from even a second. As endearing as it is, you begin to come to your senses. “I’ll be more careful, yeah?”

“Maybe we should head somewhere else—” You begin, but then you realize that you have another class after this. And then you have a shift at work. And by the time you get home from the restaurant, it’ll be eleven at night and you still have homework to do. He’ll probably asleep and your hectic schedules won’t sync up for another week or two. Between college and making enough money to pay for rent and groceries and the various expenses that life brings, you’ll have hardly any time to spend with him until much, much later.

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” Ryuji begins and starts to shuffle backwards, always the gentlemen. No matter how foul-mouthed and lewd he can be, he always respects your boundaries, and would never push you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. It’s something that should be the bare minimum in any relationship, but you appreciate it nonetheless. Before he can move any further, you grab his wrist and tug him back to you, kissing him before he can ask.

“I changed my mind,” You tell him, and this time you’re the one who is surging forward early, desperate to get as much of him as you can. A wide grin brims on his roguish features as he receives your affection, pressing forward. His tongue rasped along your soft lips and you parted them, allowing him to taste every inch of you.

Again, his hands started to wander, his knee nudging in between your legs and grinding on your clothed clit. Your eyes shut, giving yourself over to the pleasure, getting lost in it. His hands grasped the waistband of your sweatpants and tugged them down to your knees with your panties, exposing your soaked folds to the cool air. One of his diligent fingers slid between your legs, pressing down tight on your clit.

Your head flopped backwards against the wall, your hips rolling involuntarily against his hand. You gasped out, barely able to keep your voice down. His lips pressed against your neck in hungry, wet kisses and little nibbles.

“Ryuji—” You began to whine, only to be silenced by another needy kiss. His fingers teased at your soaked folds, nimble and dextrous, until one slowly slid inside. The angle was kind of awkward and it forced him to bend just to get his fingers inside of you, but that was all at the back of your mind as he worked you open. His skilled digits thrust in and out at a deviously sluggish pace, prompting you to whimper and mewl, trying to rock harder against him. Your body wiggled against the cold wall of the closet, legs shaking.

“Hang on.” He panted, suddenly planting himself onto his knees. Before you could even think about asking him what he was doing, he grabbed one of your knees and drew it over his shoulder, supporting most of your weight in a daring position that showed off his strength and let him hit you deeper at the same time.

His third finger teased your entrance and you fumbled, trying to drop completely down onto it. A low chuckle rang out and you whined, one second away from chewing him out and telling him to get on with it—

He planted a soft kiss over your clit right as he slide in a third finger, making your thoughts go fuzzy, muddled with mindless pleasure. Your knees quaked and jerked, your heel slamming against his back. Your spine grew tense with pressure, a low, soft moan breaking from your lips as his thumb stroked your clit. Your control frayed and trembled as he dragged you closer to your orgasm, pressing kisses to your lower stomach.

“Ryuji, Ryuji, Ryuji!” Your voice raised higher and higher, body beginning to tremble.

Almost, almost, almost there!

He pulled his fingers out and you curled your hands against the wall, fingernails grating against the cement. You barely managed to quash a loud whine of disappointment, reigning yourself in by remembering exactly where you were.

Had he changed his mind? Was he having second thoughts? Did he want to wait until later? You supposed you couldn’t blame him. Getting caught could embarrass both of you, or outright get you in trouble with the dean, depending on who found you out.

Your internal, worried rambling came to a sharp halt as he cursed, shoving his pants down, not even bothering to step out of them. In the dim light, you could see his hard dick, standing tall and proud against his abdomen.

“This is good, right?” He murmured, coming close to you again. His body pressed you tight against the wall and he reached down to grab your thighs. With a small huff, he lifted you, encouraging you to curl your legs around him. You winced as your back pressed against the hard surface of the wall, but the discomfort was quickly quashed under the feeling of his cock pressing against your wet folds.

A shudder rolled through your spine as he slid inside. The insertion was slow and gentle. No matter how impatient he became, Ryuji was always slow and gentle at the start, because he loved you, because he treasured you, and would rather die than even dream of hurting you. Sure, other people could only see a rough, rude former delinquent, but you saw your Ryuji, who treated you like god herself.

Your walls squeezed around his cock, a heavenly tightness that made him growl into your mouth, ow and carnal. You canted your hips to try and take him in faster.

“Can’t wait, huh?” He chuckled, voice raspy.

His hand, pressed against the small of your back, pushed you into him and he bottomed out with an almost pained groan, muffled against your shoulder.

Finally, finally, you were full. Your legs trembled as he pulled back and thrust forward again, setting a frantic, hasty pace. You were unable to do anything but cling onto his shoulders for dear life as he mercilessly railed into you. He moved like a man possessed, like he hadn’t had a drink in days and you were the first oasis he’s stumbled upon.

“Goddammit,” He panted, “You’re so fucking tight, so good—” His praises made your heart thump faster, blood run hotter. In a desperate bid for more pleasure, you reached down in between you to toy with your clit.

A loud whoosh of air left him as he hit especially deep inside of you. In a desperate bid to keep quiet, he pressed his face into your shoulder, sucking marks into your skin. Your breath stuttered and startled in your lungs at each thick push of him, groaning and mewling helplessly. He’s holding you up completely, leaving you at his mercy and somehow that sends a shocking thrill up your spine. The risk is a heady and intoxicating drug, and this situation is the very definition of a risk.

It doesn’t take long for you to reach your peak. Your orgasm rolls over you and knocks the breath out of you, your cries again muffled by his mouth.

This was a really bad idea, you think to yourself, but you can’t find it in you to regret it. In fact, your ability to think vanished completely as he fucks you through it, leaving you overstimulated and boneless by the time he reaches his pick, spilling inside of you.

And then, there’s nothing. Only the quiet sounds of your quickly evening breathing, and the cooling of the atmosphere between you two.

“I’m gonna pull out,” He gives you a quick word of warning and you wince as he does just that and sets you on your feet. Cum slides down your thighs and you cursed quietly, reaching over to your bag to dig out some of the tissues you carry with you. “Sorry about that. I guess we got a little carried away, huh?”

He hums as he grabs a few of the tissues from you, bending down to help clean off your thighs. Even though you literally just fucked, you find yourself blushing at how closely he’s looking at you.

“No, it’s fine.” You assure him, patting him on the head. “It was my choice, too.”

The next few minutes are filled with fumbling around in the cramped, dark space as you organize all of your belongings. You pull your clothes back on and try to look as presentable as possible, lingering as long as possible because you know you won’t be seeing him until later tonight.

He exits the closet first, having decided that you should wait to avoid suspicion, just in case. He gives you a lingering kiss and a smile, promising to text you later. The space he’d once occupied feels empty, but your heart feels lighter knowing you’ll eventually have all the time in the world for him.

[booking-and-blogging]

Yang and Corrin!

How I feel about this character

I love Yang so much! She’s hella and I love her fire and aesthetic. Honestly here part in V5 along with Ilias are my favorites, the vengeful cowboy thing for her just works.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I’m a bumbleby shipper primarily but I do like my some Yang x Ilia for sure, and I mean everyone’s good with Pyrrha so bring on the Greek Fire!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

She excellent buds with Ren, they talk about shit. She helps him express himself more and he helps her calm down and be herself.

My unpopular opinion about this character

YANG IS ABSOLUTELY JUSTIFIED IN BEING UPSET WITH BLAKE, Blake doesn’t owe her a date, money, anything EXCEPT she owed her a goodbye. She owed waiting for her to wake up to tell her she had to go see her family, that much was an unnecessary and total betrayal, and people telling Yang to just suck it up and trust Blake had her reasons, no Blake had no reason to not leave at least a note. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I want her to rip into Blake a little bit, I feel like Blake get’s excused for all her shitty behavior (that is realistic and makes her an interesting character) a little too often and I feel like Yang needs to take her to task next season especially if Blake tries to act like they are 100% good.

How I feel about this character

Corrin, my baby, my sweet summer child, my flower girl. I love her, I love her so much especially now.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Azura, but I respect why people dont like it after Revelations made this perfect OTP complicated AFTER I MARRIED HER THREE TIMES Rhajat honestly is great. The supports are Eh, but all of the dialogue around camp is hilarious and cute and really sells the image of their very cute relationship! To be fair Corrin looks great kissing anyone, shes just a cutie pie. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Corrin’s got so many best friends, a billion even she aggressively friends people. my none romantic otp is I think Corrins that friend, we all have this friend, that everyone you know has had a crush on this person at least once cause shes so niceeeee, but no one acts on it cause thats just Corrin. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

Literally I hate when people call her stupid. She’s proven that she can be clever in conquest, shrewd and even at the cost of her own ethics cunning. She’ might seem overly trusting, but she always has a back up plan and chooses to trust people because she knows by not trusting them makes her people less trusting and not trusting and othering CAUSED THIS WHOLE NIGHTMARE IN THE FIRST-PLACE. Yes she knows this kid might trap her but she knows if she starts not trusting people, her army will emulate that and will break apart in blaming each other for the murders. This especially with a series famous for Lords who have been gentle and maybe a little foolish in how gentle they are just beating up on Corrin just makes me soooooooooo mad. Especially cause I know the real reason they hate corrin has nothing to do with this.  

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Plenty of little things honestly. I wish they had let her be more clever in explaining the cant tell people about Valla thing (or make it explicitly not the word valla but even explaining the idea of it causes the curse to activate) but that was just needed to justify the seperate games Which were made to please people who were mad at awakening for being too easy might I remind the detractors A lot of my changes would go into the great fates series just talking about stuff more or really just beefing up conquest because I think conquest has way more going on personally. Maybe lean into the draconic madness angle a bit with Corrin? but corrin is too young for draconic madness to set in (wait till shes 80000 years old) I love how her move set in warriors made her feel like a wild animal and Im so into that and just want more lol. 

[tipsyexplorer]

2.18.21

maybe it’s time to get back on here

to just post long form free flow thoughts. 

you think you were over something, maybe have forgiven someone about it but then you read the post again and a flood of memories just come back. like exactly how you feel and you don’t feel okay. you’re hurt by what you read bc you know what’s how they still feel about you. that’s how they still see you. 

it stinks not to get recognized by all the work that you have done for them. for that one particular person and how much you have sacrificed for them. how you’re scared to really show them who you are or share things with them. just like little comments really doesn’t want me to help them or like makes me more willing to share things with them. and idk it just hurt. i just feel so hurt right now.

why is my first comment or train of thought to just end it. it’ll be so much easier, my ife would be better. I dont rely on anyone right now anyway, I don’t go to them for support I have friends to do that with so really why am i keepingthem around. bc i feel bad that they dont have anything? i htink that’s why....and like i already feel like i do so much that i just can’t also do the emotional part of it all. it just all feels so overwhelming like why do i need to provide for the financial and the emotional part now and like okay you were depressed but you didnt get any help and then your response is you dont have money 

well you apparenlty have burger money. and like delivery money. but you cant find a sliding scale therapy like. idk just shifted priorities and you just think a magic gadget or whatever new thing would fix it or whateber. i havent seen you take one picture with your camera that you got or the other one that you got like it doesnt make you better i can probably make better things take better phtos with a polaroid you just got to go and do it and not just blame you dont have the best material. like its just so...sad to me like thats just what you resort to. and maybe i can be more supportive but at the same time i just feel so supportive already like how is this even possible to be like this. 

and i guess i know that about myself like i think i’m over something but then i read it all over again and it hurts i think it hurts bc its not true. its not true and like i guess i personally know its not true but he just sees me being online as like...self obsessed. do you see how little i take selfies now how little i take pictures of food and how little i am on social media how little i post or do things that i like. liek it has drastically changed. 

and now im tearing up bc of material things?? like this isnt me but i guess its more tearing up that it doesnt seem like he really thinks about me or tries to do things. he says he wants to go on trips he wants to do things oay then plan them??? and its always you dont have money thats like the literal excuse okay then plan things that dont cost money??? i always have said that but tthen you get overwhelemd and then get sad we dont do anything like bro im so tired of planning things im tired of planing on what to cook what to do like its just so annoying land its so frustrating bc i dont speak up

i get it i should speak up and say somethig if its really bothering me and its not fair to them taht they dont know but also how can they not know??? like i’m just so confused. idk if they even know how much money they technically owe me not even counting the portion where you didnt pay but also just the portion where you agreed to pay and didnt like. ugh 

i dont understand. i can be so great and i am so great. i am so great and giving and creative. i am not shy and want to share things with people i want to be able to not be scared to say something and to speak up on stuff. but it just feels like walking on egg shells and not know what to do. maybe its my period and maybe i’m emotional right now. 

i just gotta focus on myself. keep doing things for myself nad grow. i dont want to be stuck like this i dont want to be bogged down. i want to be able to just do as much of something that i like and thats just so hard. i

why am i so concnered with your jealosy and your sadness it like really effects me. i mean we have been stuck together inside for so long and i am tired of it too. but i need to save money bc the cost of living has gone up and i have less pay. and i realy should price my things up and like have commissions on the side. i know i should do this i know i can do this. i just...

maybe this is where i should post what i want from a partner. i want someone who doesnt make me feel bad. doesnt make me feel about wanting things about really getting into something and like really enjoy something soeone who sees all of the work that i put into something. it almost feels like i should have failed or something but like if you knew me you would know how much work i really put into something like it shoudl be obvious but it always just seems to be written off 

i want someone who i can depend on and that also means financially i want osmeone who has a plan who has a plan and an idea and drive i want someone who is working on themselves and who sees that they might not be there but can be there. i want someone who is confidnet i want someone who is confidentn in thsemvels and will take care of things. i want someone who will split the respnosibilities evenly with me to make things porportionally fair . 

i want someone who i am comfortable with someone who i am comfortable around someone who will try to udnerstand me someone who isnt so quick to judge isnt so quick to be defensive i’m just trying to dot he best someone who isnt so down on thesmevles and if they are in a rut then they realize that and they do something about it. like you cant expect change by doing the same thing like thats just not smart 

i want smeoen to match my ambission and to match my drive it can be about whatever it is but like ... do something. i want someone who is more established in their field in something i want them to be able to say they set their mind to something and make it happen. and maybe i’m just clinging on so long bc i do feel sorry i feel so bad i know the situation and it will be so messy and for some reason right now its just eaier to just not do antyhing

i hear what i am saying too like doing the same things to expect something differnt is also dum and i fall under there too like its so clear to see a pattern and yet i just dont have the brave face to do something about it and that slike hat i’m preaching right like this is something i really should get into 

jealousy just doesnt really sit right with me. it just never did . it makes it seem so petty and so bad like that is something i do not look forward to. i want someone who is kind and compassionate i want someone who has good reationships with anyone . like ifamily friends anyone. like i seem to always choose people who dont have a strong cirlce or support group so then i just attract that energy or something and idk i wouldnt say i have a lot of close friends but i know they are solid and good and can go to them for help i mean yea. 

and maybe that someone is out there for me maybe that someone is here right now but at this state ithat oeron isnt it i mean this is crayz im tawhing my hands type right now iand they at go so fast its so mezmerizing to see it tpe but then when i look at them too long then i am lik oh wah idk how to type anymore LOL anywa that person is there for me i just tgot to find them. i got to find that either eslwhere or wit th person i have right now. 

[metamelonisle]

god i feel so fucking stupid i just need to get this stuff off my chest putting it under the bc y’all don’t need this stuff on your dash

basically, like two days ago, i came out to my sister as nonbinary, got upset at something she said, and later said some stuff here that i think gives the impression that im a transmed. first things, first, i’m not. I don’t like to think i am and i really don’t agree with those values. basically, i said that my sister told me about a band called “Mother Mother”, and how it’s a band that’s pretty well known in the trans community. she then said she listened to a couple of their songs and now goes by she/they, then listed how her friends basically ended up the same way. to anyone with a braincell hearing this, they’d realize, “oh cool, the music helped them realize something about themselves! neat!” and while that was my main impression (and is my impression now), the way she worded it came off like she was treating trans and enby people like a joke or trend. (just gonna say now, that is something VASTLY out of character for someone like them) i knew she didn’t mean to come off like that, but i just got so goddamn worked up about it. I then offhand mentioned that i was nb and she like kinda acknowledged it but it was clear she understood/knew. I later tried to articulate why i felt so mad about it and vented here, and basically said something along the lines of “i cant belive this i struggled with my gender identity for like 2 years and she listens to a song and decides she’s she/they? what the fuck” and “she’s gonna say i’m copying her by being nb when she’s literally a transtrender” and some other disturbing and hateful shit. later, i realized the shit i was saying and deleted all but the first one, then later had a talk with my sister, still failed to correctly articulate what i felt, and then bc i’m kinda wishy washy and hate being wishy washy, i ended up saying the wrong thing then doubling down on it. it ended up kinda tearing a rift between us for the time being, which is why i said i was a terrible sibling. yesterday i finally had a talk with them and was able to FINALLY correctly articulate why i felt the way i did, and apologized for my botched explanation earlier. my sister and i are on much better terms. (also, the reason why my sister acting the way i thought would be ooc for her is bc she is a very strong supporter of the lgbt community, and everyone in it. everyone. it would be very very weird if she suddenly started treating nb/genderfluid people like a fashion trend all of a sudden) hopefully i managed to correctly articulate my feelings this time. tl;dr: i came out to my sister, she revealed she updated her pronouns after listening to a band well known in the trans community, i misinterpreted it as her viewing trans/nb people as a fashion trend, and vented here, but failed to correctly articulate the reason i was mad, and said some really mean things i didn’t actually mean in the process. i later gave a botched explanation to my sister and they were upset, then i deleted my posts, then i correctly articulated my feelings, and properly apologized to my sister.

 I wrote this post, pretty much, to apologize to anyone who read my previous posts and felt offended or disturbed by what i had said. I am deeply and truly sorry for any hurt or stress I may have unintentionally put on you. If you understand and still wish to block me or stop interacting with me otherwise, I will not blame you. I just want you to know I regret what I did, and I feel that I owe you guys an apology too. I will try not to make the same mistakes in the future. Pacific Atlantic.

[petey91-blog]

Hi, I’m Pete, and this is me

Hello, My name is Peter Aaron O’Rourke, and i would like to introduce myself.

I am 26 years old, employed full time in a job that, if i stick to it, has the potential to set me up for life. I am engaged to a woman who has given me everything and rarely asked for anything in return. I still live at home with my parents, and pay minimal rent in exchange for food, water, clean clothes and fresh bedding. i have a sister who, occasionally, gets on with me.

Before i continue, save your sympathy for someone who actually needs it, because all of what I’m about to say is self-inflicted.

Despite being in a really comfortable situation living wise, i am broke. Why? because i am terrible at life. And by life, i mean being a grown up. i cant save money for shit, and i struggle to stay in a job more than two years because i get bored and complacent. This leads to a never ending spiral of self-pity, self-hate, and depression. I have such a fantastic support network around me, yet i can’t talk to anyone. Well, not necessarily that i can’t, more like I won’t. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I don’t want anyone to know how much of a train wreck i actually am.

‘So Pete, why are you writing this?’…….. Because I need an outlet, i need to vent. I need to know that no matter how red the mist gets, or how strong the hatred flows through my veins, i can get this off my chest and carry on with life pretending that nothing is wrong. 

Why do we, as Human beings always keep the worst of our problems bottled and seal it with an inadequate cork, until the bottle has been shaken to a point that it blows with the ferocity of Mount Vesuvius? Why do we fail to use the support network around us to keep us level headed and happy with life? Why do we rely on everyone around us to tell us something is wrong, rather than admitting it to ourselves and taking steps to solve all our issues? 

Why? Because we are selfish. we would rather struggle in the deepest holes of self anguish and let the effects of our outburst affect our loved ones than let them in. We seemingly prefer to ruin anything that is good about our situations than let the silver lining shine through our rain clouds.

Now this, is something i excel at. And i want to change. So i suppose, in the grand scheme of things this is a cry out for help. If anyone actually takes the time to read this, how do you cope? How do you deal with day to day life when that life swallows you up and spits you out cold, alone, and afraid of what tomorrow will bring?

I don’t know what to do, and for the first time in my life, it is scaring me. 

The person responsible for this admission?

Logan Paul.

As I am sure everyone here now knows Logan Paul is arguably the most successful social media entrepreneur out there right now. Yet he may have just committed career suicide by posting a video on YouTube of a Japanese man that ended his problems and woes by committing suicide. I in no way condone what Logan did, so please save your hate. But i think i understand.

Now i want to make this very clear here and now that this post is not me blasting Logan Paul. I am writing this to thank Logan Paul, and he will never read this but i am going to speak to him in the next paragraph.

Logan, Thank you. At a time when everyone is blasting you for the video you published, I just want to say that i understood the message you say you were trying to portray. When I watched that video, it made me think about that mans family. Did he have a wife? A girlfriend? A boyfriend? Who are his parents? 

What made him end it all?

In that moment, i realised that all my problems, no matter how big, or indeed how small, have anything on what that young man must have been going through. It made me think about how immature i still am to think that i am owed anything from anyone, It made me realise that only i can affect how i look at my life.

You started this train of thought Logan, and for that, I thank you.

That is probably going to make this post unpopular among people who have nothing but disgust at the actions of Logan Paul, and i don’t blame them. i don’t blame you. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and this is mine.

For anyone who has read this post and made it to here, you are not alone. reach out for help. Talk to your family. Talk to your friends. Make that change that will improve your day to day life. Take every opportunity that will make you a better person tomorrow than you are today. Live your life. Love your life.

Thank you, and until next time (if there is a next time), Goodbye.

[missjackil]

The Season 9 Emotional Clusterf*ck

I feel as though I am the only person in the fandom who hasn’t shared their opinion of this excruciating “brother break-up”, so here goes... Let me first say for anyone who doesn’t know me, I am a Sam girl, but I love Dean. I am not as critical towards Dean as I see many Sam girls are, and I am also perfectly capable of being critical of Sam, and still love him with all my heart. Often, when I come to a place, such as this mess between the brothers, I have to recall that sometimes the Winchesters have terrible communication skills. Many situations like this could be averted if the brothers would just say what they mean. But, then we wouldn’t have all this drama that most of us secretly love.  With that said.... Ill carry on.  In my opinion, neither brother was completely right, nor completely wrong. Dean tricked Sam into letting Gadreel possess him, to save his life. Sam is pissed that Dean knew Sam wouldn’t agree to being possessed, again, but made that choice for him, so let’s start with Dean first.  Of course we have to consider what happened in S8 which started all this in the first place.( I wont included a full meta on my S8 opinion here, but that’s definitely coming soon ;) )  Sam was about to close the Gates of Hell, and by the end, he was dying, and willing to do so. Even though he had stated that he wanted to complete The Trials and live, and even take Dean to that “light at the end of the tunnle” with him. Dean found out finishing The Trials would kill Sam, which he wants no parts of, and just found out Sam was fine with that “If you finish these Trials, you’re dead Sam!” Sam replies “So?” Which led into one of the most heart wrenching scenes in the series. Dean immediately talks him off the ledge. After living without Sam in S6, Dean never wants to do that again. He didn’t try to talk Sam out of throwing himself into The Pit with Lucifer once Sam made his decision, Maybe Dean had thought he owed it to Sam to try and live a normal life, and maybe he had no intentions of not springing him from the box once he was in there, but regardless, Dean never wants to do this again.  Now we have Sam near death in a coma, only hours after Dean thought he had saved his life. Dean didn’t just call an angel to come possess his brother... he tried everything he could think of first. He prayed and he even went down to the car to see if Crowley could help in any way. Gadreel offered a way to help and Dean is adamantly opposed to this, until he sees how close Sam is to death (and to Death as it was) and making Death promise that no one can bring him back, that it’s final. So, if Dean hadnt agreed to Gadreel, there would have been no way to bring Sam back, and Dean made a choice out of sheer panic. And to be perfectly honest, I would have made the same choice, if the person dying in the bed was someone I couldnt live without. He knew Sam would be mortified when he found out what he did, but Dean still wanted to tell him throughout the possession, but Gadreel kept telling him Sam would eject him and he would die. I see too many metas about this that make it seem like Dean didn’t care, but he DID, it ate at him from the moment he did it, till the moment Gadreel was out of Sam, and Sam was in tact. He knew Sam would probably hate him for it, and there was a chance this Angel would take over and destroy Sam. He didnt take this decision lightly at all.  Now about Sam. Sam has been possessed before, more than once, and this is something he never wants to happen to him ever again. He’d rather die. So we (Sam girls) right away want Sam’s choices to be respected. Not unlike if our loved one is on life support in a coma, but they have stated before, that they dont ever want to live on life support. If nothing at all can be done, I would respect their wishes, and not keep them on life support, BUT if something, COULD be done, no matter how drastic, that could bring them back, then I would make that choice for them, and if they hate me and kick my ass after, Ill take it, its much better than them being dead. Sam however, tells Dean he wouldn’t do the same for him, given the same circumstances, and he probably wouldn’t. because possession is a terrible thing, and he knows first hand (Dean really doesn’t) Sam would have done something though, he wouldn’t just let Dean die, unless there was absolutely nothing he could do, besides having him possessed, Sam would let Dean die, and most likely die right along with him.  So now after Gadreel is out, Sam is beyond pissed at Dean, justifiably so, but I don’t think Sam is so pissed that he wants Dean to leave him. When the boys are talking in the rain, on the bridge I don’t think Sam is AS pissed that Dean did what he did, as he’s hurt that now Dean wants to leave him too. Sam’s face goes from anger and mistrust to flat out crushed and heart broken when Dean says he’s leaving. Sam wants to be allowed to be angry and hurt, but he still loves Dean and wants him to stay so they can somehow work it out. Dean leaves and Sam states it in the next couple episodes that it was Dean’s choice to leave, not his.  This is where I get a little critical on Sam. Not in the typical way that he “overreacted” or is “unappreciative” but in the sense of how he displayed his anger. Over the seasons, we have seen Dean punch Sam for no good reason, we’ve heard him berate him numerous times, and Sam just takes it. Not because he’s scared of Dean, he isn’t, and usually lets it go without saying anything because he knows, this is how Dean is. Dean isn’t right when he does this, at all, and I dont hold anything over either of their heads as to what is said or done when under a supernatural influence, but Dean hasn’t hit Sam on his own volition since S7, that’s 5 years. So any of you who think Dean hasn’t changed or grown any, consider that.  Sam doesnt get angry as often as Dean does, or he at least locks it away until it needs to come out. Sam fights with his words, and his words are often stinging. We see this in full bloom at the end of The Purge. This is Sam’s way of punching Dean, since Dean would accept him punching him, but right now Sam wants Dean to hurt. So his words are manipulative in a way... he keeps saying “I was ready to die” and “What is the upside of me being alive?” this is to let Dean know he didnt want to live, and maybe he still doesnt. Sometimes suicidal people may say something like this to get a reaction. They want to hear why them living is important to you... and sometimes to make you worry you might find them dead on the bathroom floor one day, so step lightly. Then Sam tells him “for once be honest with me, you didnt save me for me, you saved me for you. You cant stand the thought of being alone” This is Sam not recognizing (or maybe making Dean think he doesnt recognize) that Dean cant live without HIM. Dean has never been alone, he has always had someone. He has friends, hes hunted with other people, he even has Cas who he considers a brother, so Sam is really saying “I dont believe you love me”. Then Sam softly insults Dean’s work. “You tell yourself you’re doing more harm than good, but you're  not” (I realize this isnt in chronological order of the conversation, Im laying it out this way to explain it better) Any pride Dean may have in his life, comes from knowing he has saved a lot of people... now, Sam is going to tell him he’s hurt more than he’s helped. Then the biggest sting of all “Ill hand it to you though, you are willing to do the sacrificing, as long as you’re not the one being hurt”... That was the verbal kick in the balls! Since I cant believe that Sam has forgotten that Dean sold his soul for him, and spent 40 years (of what he thought would be eternity) in Hell for him, I have to believe the writers fucked up this one. Both Sam and Dean sacrifice themselves over and over, and always get hurt in the process. Its very hard for me to understand where Sam is coming from here if not only to make Dean feel worthless, or to say he doesnt appreciate any of his sacrifices, and I just cant see that with Sam. But that aside, Sam had already told him they cant be brothers, they can only work together, so since Sam feels like Dean took away whats important to him, Sam is taking away whats important to Dean.  Neither WInchester is innocent of saying/doing crappy things to the other. But they’re human, and humans are flawed, and these flaws, however painful they can be, make them more realistic to me, and easier to love.  Bonus Meta Now this all also parallels what Dean says to Sam at the end of S10 when Death tells Dean why Sam has to die. In S9 Sam thinks Dean is only thinking about himself, at the end of S10 Dean tells Sam to stop thinking about himself.Sam tells Dean in S9 that he does more harm than good, Dean tells Sam evil tracks them and nukes everyone in their vicinity, its time to put a proper name to what they are. Sam blames Dean in S9 for Kevin being dead, Crowley in the wind, no closer to fixing the angel thing, so there was no good reason to save his life. Dean blames Sam for killing Charlie, for Cas going behind his back, and being willing to let the Darkness into the world all in order to save his own life. In Sacrifice, when Dean talks Sam down and promises he’ll never put anything before him, he ties a rag on Sam’s left hand (symbolic marriage?) and he’s released from the Trials. At the end of 10 when Sam punches Dean, Dean takes the rag off his own left hand, releasing them from each other. In 8, Sam wants to die but lets Dean talk him out of it. In 10, Sam doesnt want to die, but lets Dean talk him into it. In both events, Sam is willing to die for the greater good, but even under the control of the MoC Dean isnt willing to let Sam die, no matter what the cost. 

[atruegeno]

I don't even know anymore....

Its stuff like this that drives me to end my life. For those of you who care ultimaalmighty’s YouTube channel has been taken down so its a sad day for Ultima was youtuber that i looked up to anytime i was down he would bring me back up with his “EPIC REACTION VIDEOS” all was good until he got in a relationship with steph from starbot dubs to cut a long story short so i can get to what i have to say about this whole shit show of a fucking argument steph broke up with ultima and this drove ultima to “sexually harass” 8 other women what happened during their relationship is complete cluster fuck of info from that i am not going to get into there is info on this shit everywhere. Anyways why do i feel this way? why do i feel so conflicted? Why did i get a tumblr blog to post this? Because i am not on ANYONE’S SIDE!! in my opinion both of them have explaining to do beyond blog post and video that ultima made because both of which are biased and just divide the fan base of two of them and just makes everybody look bad on both sides im going to look at both and tell you my opinions on each

About ultima

Ok to be honest I actually side with ultima a bit more but even he did a fair share of things to piss me off. But lets start from the beginning ultima was in a relationship that he did not disclose until this shit started which is the first problem look i understand having a bit of privacy but not telling your fans about this until now was just plain stupid (this also applys to steph) and it made the uncoulded truth video come out of nowhere. Speaking of which that video was actually pretty well done and rather then make me lose respect for him i gained more than i lost because it takes a big man to step up and face and admit what you did wrong and actually try to fix it (even though it was not enough for ANYBODY!) and try to fix yourself by going to see a therapist its rare to see thats nowadays and i admire anybody no matter how big or small the mistake they’ve made i will always at least respect them for trying to make amends. Hell from what i hear he actually sent out private apologies to everbody he hurt so from the look of it things we’re turning around for him. However there was one thing that i can’t for the life of me agree with and thats the way he handled the attack from everybody make no mistake i do like it when someone takes the negative and turns it into a positive impact on themselves but the way he said it on twitch made him sound like a complete and total coward saying that he owes them for helping him realize what he did was wrong is kinda bullshit (for reasons i will talk about later) and the fact that he completely downed the chances of him getting another channel is just a slap in the face to fans like me who want to support him but don’t want to go on twitch to do it. In conclusion i feel like ultima does deserve a second chance and i hope all the best for him i just think he could have done better for his fans if he was a more open about the relationship from the start and did not completely rule out the possibility of another channel. Now for the part that made me want to post this

About starbot dubs and the victims

Now for the real side of the story i wanted to talk about because right now aside from steph i can barely stand any of these people but once again i will go from the top and then I’ll get to the reasons why. As i stated when i was talking about ultima steph should have also informed her fans about the relationship as well (the same points stated previously apply) one thing she should not have done is post the whole story on social media. Now before you say anything NO i don’t think she should have been quite about it but she should not have made public. She should have sent private message if she wanted to warn people without having ultima attacked and so the victims knew what he was capable of instead she posted the whole long story on Tumblr (yeah look whos talking) and hoped people understood that she didn’t want utima crucified. Now we all make mistakes (Ultima) and this definitely counts as one you cant just post somthing like that and hope that people don’t the guy. The people on internet DON’T CARE once they have a chance to shoot they will (i do realize that some people do care but you know what im talking about) which leads me to my next point how they handled it. Ok now we are getting to the good part the copyright strikes look these people have the right to there art ok i realize that (i consider myself to be artist) but in this case they abused the copyright system outright just to get ultima taken off YouTube which is the worst thing you can do in this sener because now people are going to rope them in with those hack developer’s on steam greenlight and don’t give me the excuse that “oh they did because he sexually harassed them” the reasoning does not matter they let him have those videos up until this happened. The moment this happened rather asking him to take the videos down (i don’t know if they did but if so link me the post) they chose to jump strate to the copyright system and take his channel down which put both them and starbot dubs underfire from ultimas fans. I love how they think people are horrible for thinking that “sexual harassment is on the same level as breaking a glass” when the real reason is probably because before all this happened ultima was a well respected youtuber with a loving fan base and if you think that everybody would just turn on him you might just have to rethink how the human mind works they are NOT stupid they just care about and are willing to look past that because to you he may be a manipulator to others he’s still the same stand up guy they know and love to the point where i saw someone who made a music cover dedicated to him (the music video is called Farwell Ultima not my cup of tea but still…damn) that alone says how much people care about him and to be honest i think they’re going too far with the hate and its actually coming off as bullying which is wrong concidering how much ultima has done he always encourages people to support the creater telling people to watch the original video first and wants them to subscribe to creater (also most of the videos he reacts to are fan suggested). Now lets get the part that REALLY pissed me off the ultima farwell stream i was there in the chat just before the stream started and it was going great there was a few haters but they quickly chased out (thanks to yours truly) but then THEY showed up vade maxoutoften hawker and dusty underline once they showed up everything went down hill they were attacking ultima and his fans calling anybody who said anything about them liars in the most immature way possible and the worst thing was once ultima started streaming they went silent and ran like cowards but it got worse when i checked they’re tumblr and the first thing i saw was a fucking fantasy version of the original blog post written by maxoutoften (its called a star story btw) which not only is twisted to make ultima seem like a piece of shit but also completely insalts the original post (even though I didn’t agree with it being poted in the first place) Speaking of maxoutoften when he was called out for causing shit in the chat he said that he didn’t do anything even though i saw him encouraging dusty to keep going the same applies to the other members of starbot dubs (except steph) they will bully ultima one moment but someone says anything they will ether

A. Say “well he harassed 8 women so its fair”

Or

B. Say they didn’t have to do with it

To both i say BULLSHIT! it is NOT fair to go and harasse ultima and his fans and you did have somthing to do with it you posted the blog and foolishly hoped that no one attacked him so you share some of the blame for it. And this makes you worse then ultima your doing the same thing that he did to his him and his fans and are trying to cover it up atleast ultima had the guts to admit to his mistakes but you will hide under any excuse you get. And now for the final thoughts

Final thoughts

Both sides in my opinion have made a lot of mistakes Ultima does deserved to be punished but not like this vade and the others need to stop being so immature and ultima should make another channel i know it seems like i was on ultima’s side but he didn’t do much to piss me off but what do i know im just some random kid on the internet right….maybe but i know this the only way i see this endding is for Ultima Starbot and the victims to get together and make a blog post about the whole story through and through and for them to reach some kind of understanding and move on it probably won’t happen but thats the only i see this endding peacefully (that or get everybody together and watch the video go home homura your drunk that will cheer them up) and if anybody at starbot dubs has a problem with this post and desides to attack me just remember your only proving my point

[datingadviceonreddit]

As a freshman i was antisocial so next year as a sophomore i made a friend group through friends i already knew and met more. In the group there was a guy named Kyle and i eventually fell for him. The thing is, he already had a girlfriend and one of my closest friends liked him too and they knew each other for a year longer. One night everyone in the group chat was talking about their old crushes and she mentioned she used to like him. Kyle confessed he used to like her back but they couldnt be together because he was already in a relationship. They were in that “maybe it couldve happened” state when my other friend basically blackmailed me into confessing too. The confession was through text and at basically the worst time but instead of saying no he said something along the lines of “honestly, i did used to like you too but it is a bad time. Idk just do what michelle (my close friend who confessed) is doing”. And afterwards we talked but he seemed really sad and apologetic that he turned me down. A couple months later he got really depressed. His family couldnt pay the rent so he had to move, he had to give up his dog, and the court almost made his family split up. I tried to comfort him and tried to be there for him as much as i could. He was really hurt and i couldn’t imagine going through that. I feel like he trusted me a lot more than our other friends. Anytime he needed something i would always be there for him and he would tell me what was on his mind and we had this kind of relationship for about 2 months. Eventually his problems started getting less serious. He would start overreacting over some things and leave the group chat for about a week or so and shut people out or rant about something. This went on for about 3 months until he finally left the friend group for good. It happened when we were all afterschool at our club and he suddenly disappeared so i texted him and he told me to go meet him on the steps so i did. I tried asking what was wrong but he never told me and to this day i still don’t know for sure. After a while it got awkwardly quiet and he told me i can go back but i regret not being able to do anything else. Before this during the whole period where he would come and go i had an on and off crush on him. I would stop liking him for a bit because we just never talked but then he would do something like dress cute or once he wrapped his arm around mine as a joke but those little things made me fall for him all over again and repeat the cycle. After this we just stopped talking. Every couple weeks he would come to me to rant and i still cared about him even if my feelings for him were gone. Before anything he was still my friend who needed help. But like i said sometimes they weren’t that serious and he was being really dramatic. We didnt talk for weeks until the school year ended and we only talked once or twice during the summer and those were also just rants. During the summer i also left the friend group because a lot of them were toxic (im still close with my true friends tho). I never told anyone why i left. He also transferred schools during our junior year to escape the drama of our school. At one point during jr year i really missed the friend group and I’m not really sure why. Since Kyle left too i figured i could ask him if he thinks i should go back. It probably doesn’t seem like a big deal but i felt really alone even though i talked to my good friends to the point where i had a hard time sleeping. I texted him but he never responded. At first i just figured he didnt see it because hes always like that where he never checks his phone but a couple days later my friend told me he rejoined the group chat and then left after 10 minutes so i know he saw my text and just didn’t respond. Next year he told other people he was coming back because there was too much drama at the school he transferred to. So here’s what i need advice on: should i cut him out of my life when he comes back? I know if i dont then I’ll fall for him again and if i do itll start the same cycle where I’m always helping him no what because i can’t seem to forget about him and the second i start having doubts he does something that makes me fall for him again, not even as an abusive or unhealthy relationship but some little unnoticed detail that means nothing to him but makes me feel like im in love all over again. Its an all or nothing kind of thing for me. I really tried to help him and i listened to all his problems when he needed me to and dont get me wrong. I didnt do it and expect him to owe me and i didn’t do it just because he was my crush its just who i am where i try to go out of my way to help people who are close to me. But despite all of that, the one time i asked him for help he doesnt even reply. He was the one person i wouldve told that too and it was everything ive been holding in for a year. It kind of feels like he took advantage of my kindness. The fact the he left and came back to escape drama makes me feel like hes just running from his problems or relies on other people to help solve them. Also when i confessed he basically told me to wait for him until hes single and then we’ll see. He mightve just been leading me on and since he knew i liked him he used that against me for support. Helping him at one point just got really draining. On the other hand, i dont blame him for leaning on me. The things he was going through, it’s really hard and i was the one who reached out to him first and tried to help. The fact that he trusted me does mean something i think. There were things ive done to him that were mean and i know if someone did the things i did to me i would hold a grudge against them forever but instead he forgave me and still trusted me with things he didnt tell anyone, even michelle even though they were really close too. He forgave me for all the things I did and still trusted me and idk I dont want to forget that. And im the kind of person who bottles everything in until i cant hold it in anymore. If he asked me sophomore year if everything was ok i wouldve said yes, it was just that one moment i wouldve told him everything. Normally I’d hold back. And if he is going through something tough i dont want him to have to go through it alone and i dont know if he has anyone he can go to for this kind of thing except me. Despite everything he’s still my friend. This is self concious and I’m not 100% how true it is but i think because i know I’m going to fall in love with him again I’m putting up a wall and shutting him out so he cant leave me and hurt me again. This might all just be something to protect myself. Please help me with this thank you via /r/dating_advice

[spn-fanfic]

Abuse??

I need some advice. I know that you all aren't professionals or anything and it's hard to judge something from an online account of it, but I really have NOT been able to get something off my mind recently. I've been constantly thinking about my parents/brothers treatment of me growing up. There's a lot of things that stick in my mind and they just kinda hit me this year, when I moved away to college. I just want to start this by saying I wasn't physically abused. I mean, not really. There were 4 instances that stick out in my mind in terms of getting physical. First, my dad hit me on the leg (hard enough to sting) because we were having a discussion in the car. I have no clue what it was about. Second, one time I was fighting with my mom and she slapped me on the arm. Not hard. Last, again I was fighting with my mom and my dad kinda yelled to stop it. I said something to him (I think it was like "this doesn't involve you" but I'm not sure.) And kinda ran towards me and grabbed me by the hair. This happened twice. I don't remember why he grabbed my hair the second time. What I really want to ask about is emotional stuff. Let me start with my brother. When I was younger, I remember some times when he tormented me. Now I know that this is fairly normal and he probably didn't realize what he was doing, but I remember being so genuinely terrified that I would hide from him and call my parents (who would be working on a house we were building in the backyard). I would be with my back against a door and he would grab at my ankles. I don't know how to feel about this... but I can say that I can't think of a recent particular instance that I've felt scared or victimized by him, only then. Then there's my dad - first off, he is not okay with me having a different political opinion than him and makes me feel very guilty about disagreeing. He will scream over me, even now, and tell me to shut up. Also, I remember one time we all went on vacation to Florida. I don't do this often and so I asked of we could stop by Myrtle Beach at some point (because we were driving and passing through) and everyone undoubtedly said no. Of course, I was disappointed and acted like I was (which, admittedly we were on vacation and I should've just went with it... There's always another time to go) and he called me a bitch... more than once, yelling over me when I tried to defend myself. He said "this is what I hate, that defeatist attitude from you." Then he called me that. Also, there were a lot of times where he said the words "I know you're [insert any age below 18 here] but don't think I won't hesitate to beat your ass." Of course, he was referring to spanking me? Which I find VERY weird and am confused because I believe I was almost 18 the last time he said this to me? Plus, I don't think spanking is every appropriate for a kid anyway... but that's another thing. He would also say "YOU aren't going to tell me what YOU'RE going to do." Again, all the way until I was 18. This was usually in relation to things like me not wanting to help them clean at home when I had made plans prior. I'm sure there's stuff I'm missing about the other two, but I want to move onto my mom. Whoo boy, there's a lot. First off, I remember being a very passive child and kinda doing anything anyone told me because I just assumed they were right. Now, I was like this all the way up until about middle school (7th grade) and I remember being SEVERLY depressed for 5th and 6th. Like, cried myself to sleep, and ate very little food. Idk, it was bad. But when I got to middle school, things got better and I started to find my voice. Still a pushover, but better, and I wasn't so depressed anymore. I'm honestly not sure what changed. But then, again my sophomore year of high school it got really bad for a second time, and was like that for a whole year. Like... i wasnt eaying bad. Then it got better again, idk how to explain it. But anyway, I digress. Around the first time I started to feel better, my mom starting saying how much I had changed and how bad it was. She used to say "you were such a sweet child then, and now you aren't, and you don't listen to me. What changed?" Which.. I always found very insulting because this was the time I feel I began to become better.. not worse. I remember her humiliating me in front of my friends. At the time, I HATED my dance classes (I can admit that it totally was a phase, I love dance) and she had me stick with them. I would make excuses not to go a lot, and admittedly part of this was because of my emotional state. But anyways, one time my friend was over and was going to carpool (because we had the same dance class) and I can't remember if I lied about not having the right shoes so I couldn't go, or if I genuinely couldn't find them. (Which obviously, I shouldn't lie and shouldn't lose things) also, I had a very messy closet. I just remember yanking everything out of my closet, throwing it all over the place and screaming because she was trying to find my shoes. In front of my friend. Idk. She also CONSTANTLY comments on my weight and appearance. She made me feel self conscious about things I didn't even k ow were there. Her comments are always unwarranted and she acts innocent when I confront her about them. She does the same with acne. She also gets very upset that I talk a lot. Like, she berates me for it? I'm making this sound way worse than it is lol. The first time she visited my college, I swore (accidently.. ik I shouldn't swear at my mom) and she was like.. "if this is what this place teaches you then don't think we won't hesitate to pull you out." When I'm the one paying for it. Speaking of my college, she does nothing but insult it.. She made negative comments about my room being too clean the first time she came. She also tries to keep me from getting a summer job. I go to school 10 hours away, and I'm home for the summer. (This is my first year.) I told her I'm going to work when I'm home, and she gave me a myriad of reasons why I cant. She said 1. They would lose food stamps and federal assistance because I would be making money and coming off from them as a dependant 2. I wouldn't be home to "help her" get the house together (there are piles of junk all around and in the property she wants to get clean... bit I've tried to help before and she was saying this for years. Nothing gets done on it) and 3. Bringing up reasons why I HATED my job last year and telling me all jobs would be like that. Also one time.. And this was by far the worst... it took place this year. I was home for Christmas break (about a month long) and my only goal other than having a nice holiday was to get a particular ear piercing before I went back to school. Now, I'm 18 and have money so I had no problems going to get that done and doing the last few errands I had to do by myself before and went back, and said as much. But my mom wanted to come, and I said whatever because I'm a little scared of driving. (Even though I've done it for a few years now 😂😂). I did tell her though that once we were downtown, I wanted to do the ear piercing first because it was on the way, and the website for the place I was getting it done didn't list hours. We had a full list of groceries and stuff to do and I thought we might get there too late.. And this was really the last day I had to get it done before I went back. She agreed, no problem, to doing this.. even though I knew she wasn't too happy about me getting the piercing. So, as soon as we get downtown, (she's driving) she starts saying that she wants to go everywhere else first before my piercing. I got upset.. And said to her that the only reason she's doing that is because she knows it'll be too late to go the piercing parlor by the time we finish everything else, and she doesn't want me to get it. (Once again, I probably shouldn't have been so accusatory.) But.. She starts yelling that I'm paranoid and need to see a psychiatrist because I'm downright crazy for assuming things, and paranoid that everyone is out to get me. This was while we were driving and I started sobbing hysterically.. which she didn't care.. And you know, there's a difference between telling someone you care about you think they need help and using that comment to hurt them. Especially because before she had outright stated how she thought anyone on medication was crazy and looked down on them. She continued errands leaving me in the car, and when she returned and I didn't want to talk this just made her more upset. Of course, she denies a lot of this and is the kinda "well I'm sorry if you were offended" person and she's always blaming someone else. One time she said she didn't like aspects of my personality and then called me too sensitive when I got upset. There's also a lot of instances of my parents fighting and involving me in ways I shouldn't have been. Making me feel guilty about money, etc. Telling me personal things about my brother that were none of my business. My parents also never let me cut my hair. Also, something I really hated my sophomore year was high school band, and I told my parents this and I was forced to continue. Eventually I started skipping (Which I shouldn't have done 😣) and lying to them, telling them I was going. (Which again, shouldn't have done) well, long story short they found out because my teacher called them, and they didn't tell me, getting me to confess. This all came to a head because there was a school parade I was supposed to be in, (on a saturday) and I went to my friends the night before. My dad said he would pick me up in the morning and take me, and I was just going to like hang out at the school and pretend I went. (I know, I shpudnt have done this) So, my friend was aware of this situation and very supportive. She said to call my dad and just tell them her dad would take me, so I didn't have to just sit at the band room. So I did.. And my dad informs me that he has a friend there that can tell him if I'm not there. So.. I just come clean. (Mind you, I've managed to officially withdraw from band at this point because my parents never called the band teacher back and he just ended up dropping me from his roster) and he instantly says, "then you're done with cheering, and I'm coming to get you right now." *click* cheering was one of the things I truly enjoyed. But anyway, he came to get me and they both reemed me out. They didn't end up taking me out of cheering though. That said, my mom still lords it over my head even though I've told her it was contributing to my depression because it is literally the only big lie I've told. I don't know what to make over all that. I'm sure I'm missing things, but there's a lot to this post already and I just want to say that of course I'm not talking about the happy times either. And there's a lot of those! So, to get back to the point of this post... would this be considered emotional abuse? Should I see a therapist? I think I have anxiety/depression but I know you shouldn't self diagnose, and I don't want to pretend I have something I don't.. But I also have a block about therapy I suppose. But I don't know if I was abused and I always doubt how I feel on it and I just wanted other opinions. Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for commenting.

[strikingouttogod]

System rebooting. Initializing hunter, Paladin back online.Gabe came back online first thing seeing he was held down by two other hunters in a makeshift court room. Normally Mavericks are executed on site but this was a special occasion. Mach Pachyderm presiding over the ex-hunter Paladin.

“Due to your service I figured Id owe you atleast a chance to explain yourself and provide information on whats about to happen next from the Hikari. Give us something and your execution shall be swift. ”

But Gabriel wasnt even listening, more going over what happened. There was a fight, his memory circuits starting to cycle through, the team was ambushed hard by someone in the Hikari. Close to how Salem was  but far more dangerous and went by the name of Midus, more so probably to be funny than anything. The attack happened swiftly as Mach went over the details of the situation.

“Going over the report your group from the wreckers were investigating some Hikari disturbances as they were ambushed over in the warehous district, thanks to your help most of the squad was wiped out along with more attacks against civilian targets to help your cohorts escape away with whatever information they were looking for.” As if to seal the deal, muffled explosions reverberated through hunter hq as the fighting over the city intensified.

But That wasnt the case Gabe thought but didnt speak they wouldnt believe him. the evidence was overwhelming, plus along with the virus…no the attack did happen, Gabe and the others were separated but he was ordered to help the civies out. Then he ran into that Hell reploid…Looking around the room seeing the different hunters for this wondrous occasion he. Emerald wasnt there maybe a mission or didnt want to show but Excalibur was there. He opened up a private com to him using some codes that were given. “Flamingo please I need you to listen to me!” Gabe pleaded “I should make sure the codes are changed after they are done with you so no other traitors use them” Flamingo stated as Gabe continued “You know me I wouldnt betray my team like this, Its a set up and I need help they are in trouble!” “Ha I used to know you, to think I would consider you a friend… and here you are just like sam…” “Flame please you were there during the sigma betrayal youve been there countless times you know I would never do this and if I dont get out of here my friends and others will die please I need your help.” Gabe practically begging at this point staring down Flamingo seeing him shift to his other leg “Say I want to believe you, say that what your saying is true.” “Excalibur I swear to you on my core if whatever I say is a lie ill lay down and let you kill me, but please my friend please…” Flamingo took a moment shifting from foot to foot as he stared Gabriel in the eyes trying to find the lie. “Im going to regret this… you have five mins before I change my mind..” “I only need two.” The link went dead and Mach was finishing up his speech. Gabriel went thru his  systems. VAS systems. Armor statues Buster -24% Berserker 34% Burst 12% Strike 10% Sword 35% Shield 20% BeastG 48% correction 52%, correction 55%

All other armors destroyed. Vwes system at 50%, Weapon 40%, Limbo ready. “Silence gets you no where Paladin” Mach spoke up glaring at Gabe. “Seems  to me then your loyalty then has changed. Maverick.” The acid from his tone could of melted Voltairs armor. To everyone in the room Gabe looked to be defiant but Flame was watching intently, reading Gabes lips as he mumbled. “System override Dr. X code 0117836 safety disengage of Core,VAS, Weapons and Vwes system. Confirmation code Kingslayer….Sorry Dad, forgive me but I need to save my friends,” Gabes systems shifted into Last Man Standing mode, experimental limiter removal  for his systems. He had five minutes before his core gave out. “Ex-hunter Paladin  do you have any words before we execute you?” Mach Pachyderm said as Gabe looked up defiant but smiling. “Yeah I do, style change, Buster form.” In a flash Paladins armor shifted into buster armor as two buster shots blasted back the two hunters beside him, as he turned toward the wall and bore a hole through it escaping from the makeshift court room bolting through the hallways of Hunter Hq. The alarm rang off as Gabriel heard Pachyderm screaming or his blood. “If im going to get blamed for it..” setting his busters to low any new hunter that rounded the corner got a quick burst to knock them back. Making his was down low thankful Veronica wasnt at the desk, tho Flamemingo was waiting for him as Paladin rushed him “You cant beat me in that armor “Friend” give it up.” “Your right buddy but Mach isnt the only one with CQC busters” Excal smirked as the two met, Rising phoenix against fulled charged Plasma shot. The smoke cleared as Flame saw the buster armor fall to pieces, then boots sprinting away from him. Catching a glimpse of burst armor rounding the HQ entrance, “I hope my faith isnt misplaced Gabriel.” As Flamemingo reported the prisoner escaping towards the back. Paladin ran, boosters at max rushing back towards the warehouse district passing by destroyed buildings, hearing the shots of blaster rifles and buster ring through out the city.  Again the warzone it became as hikari’s plans began to come to fruition. He felt it before he heard it just as the round exploded near him shattering the remains of his burst armor, Thanks to his vwes and some luck Gabe rounding the corner back in base form breathing heavy of that near death shot as he spotted a hunter tank rounding the corner. “I really dont have time for this” was all he managed as the tank tracked back onto him and fired. As the round exploded demolishing the corner to bits, the tank crew was about to report a successful kill till the smoke cleared revealing a barrier and a for the most part unhurt Paladin in Shield form. As the barrier lowered they lost sight of him. “Payback!” Gabe shouted as he activated his vwes jumping high into the air and punching the tank with his shield completely destroying the gun and smashing the front armor completely. Tho his slight repereive was short lived as 3 more rounded the corner along with more Hunter support. Hopping off the side taking cover and switching to Bereserker armor Paladin gave a savage kick to the crippled tank sending it sliding towards his ex comrades. They chased him hard through out the war torn city crossing different combat zones, if it wasnt for strike vanish and the teleportation Gabe was sure he’d be dead by now. Making it back to the last location of what he remembered the warehouse they were sent too came into view, then the road exploded. Phasing out barely to safety, Gabe cursed himself for being reckless as the strike armor shattered off of him.  He heard the click of the coms as Mach screamed into his ear. “Maverick give yourself up or I swear on my…that you will…and I will…” But then his voice was replaced through the static as Gabe continued on his way in. “Good to see your still alive Paladin would of hated to see you taken out by such low class hunters.” “Im going to help my friends out Midas then Im coming for you.” “Tick Tock my friend or yours wont be around much longer” The line went dead as Gabriel marched on through hearing the fighting intensify as he got closer. “ Im coming to help guys,” As Paladin shifted into sword form lifting Limbo up feeling it ready to cleave through whoever was in the way. Cleaving is way into the warehouse surprising some hikari that decided to move to late, he heard the team fighting below as more goons came pouring in swarming where they were hold out. “Ah you finally came Paladin, just in time too” Gabe spun around just in time bringing the blade up in time as Midus attack his beam saber meeting limbo sparking plasma off. “Not even a hello Paladin? how rude” As Gabe growled and swung viciously. They traded blows. Sword to sword they fought as each cut shredded the sword form but limbo scored gashes into Midius armor.Breathing heavy as they pushed each other back, “Well now lets see if your worth it.” Midus stepped back as his appearance changed  seeing One of the Hell beast armors covering him instead of the normal, before he could react Felt his core almost crack as he was sent flying crashing through walls before landing in a heap. “A shame really, you had so much potential, gaining all this power to do what protect the weak like the Knight you think you are?” Midus laughed as Gabe attempted to stand. “To think all this planing, all this setting up to see you come up short…” With a roar Gabe shifted the beast armor of Gregor Roaring with him as he attacked Midus full force feeling the rage build within him while he tried to tear Midus apart. Each hit caused the already damaged building to crumble more. They traded claw for claw, shot for shot each viciously striking, Midas toying with Gabe while he did his damnedest to rip out Midas’s core “Is this all you have? its sad.really.” Midas commented as he swatted to the side as he caught himself. Gabe just smirked seeing the timer count down before his core would give out.

“You know what Ill give that to you. You set me up pretty dammed well, fuck if I ever will be accepted back, and the virus…hell either im lucky or just to stupid to infect anyone else but your going to get your dam wish.“ As Gabe dropped the beast armor causing Midas to pause “Oh giving up so soon?” “No Midas i have one more trick, and im glad for once none of my friends are around for after the ordeal we went through to kill this thing…Im sure they would hate me to have this, but Ill give you the show of the life time and its going to be your last.” “Lets see what you got Paladin!” Midas Rushed forward just as the timer for Gabes core ticked to the one minute mark. (Thanks Dad, I know why you made this to give us a chance to deal with the bullshit assholes like this throw at us, but I hope you can forgive me for snooping around and know that im using this armor for the right reasons. And to my friends…) As he switched to Comms hearing everyone call out wondering if he was alright and able to assist. “You guys are my family and thank you” He clicked off the comms before rushing Midas himself. “STYLE CHANGE! GRAVE ARMOR, VANISHING WORLD!” For the briefest moment Midas felt raw power spike up to unbearable levels only to be condensed into one point, Feeling Paladins energy spike as his fist connected detonating our in a single direction, All Gabriel caught before the world went white was a smile from Midas as he felt his own energy reserves blow out sending him tumbling down…down…down…