#i know he's a gemini but god he really is hot isn't he

[papermint-airplane]

OC Questionnaire

I was tagged by @stargazer-sims, @drawing-way-outside-the-lines, @bool-prop, and @happy-lemon. Hehehehehe now I get to do more than one! 😈

Aiden Ayy 👽

Name: Aiden Ayy

Nickname: He was definitely that kid who tried to nickname himself and then got frustrated when nothing stuck. Despite his best childhood efforts, Aiden has no nicknames. 😭

Gender: Male

Star sign: Gemini ♊

Height: 5'8"

Orientation: Pansexual

Nationality/Ethnicity: 100% Sixamite

Favorite Fruit: On Earth, pineapple. On Sixam, grarglefroot. It's basically a pineapple except blue.

Favorite Season: Spring.

Favorite Flower: I think I answered this before in a different post with some wild ass flower that looks like it belongs on an alien planet which is great worldbuilding and all but I literally forgot what it was so let's go with basic bitch roses. 😅

Favorite Scent: Cinnamon.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Aiden is up for any of these as long as they're spiked. He hasn't yet learned that not everyone does that all the time and that it makes you look like you have a problem if you do.

Average Hours of Sleep: Aiden doesn't actually need sleep! He meditates to restore his brain power but sleep isn't necessary for him. He's a lot like D&D elves in that way. He can choose to sleep if he wants to, though, because dreams are fun and he looks cute when he's eepy. 🥺

Dogs or Cats: Yes. Any animal at all, really. Aiden is fascinated with them.

Dream Trip: Sixam. Poor baby wants to go home. 😭

Number of Blankets: "I'm worried what you just heard was 'give me a lot of blankets'. What I said was 'give me all the blankets you have.' Do you understand?"

Random Fact: Aiden is based on a Sim I created in the Sims 2 when I was 18 for a Bachelorette Challenge. It was, predictably, a disaster, and the poor baby kept having mental breakdowns. I decided it was because he was new to Earth and the stress of all the unfamiliarity wore heavily on him, but it was definitely because I didn't know how to cheat needs at the time. He got a visit from the invisible psychiatrist more than once, you know? It became a character trait! Aiden, the nervous alien who just wants love. 👽💚

Roman Gallan 🧜���♂️

Name: Roman Gallan

Nickname: "Hey Asshole". Guess who gave him that one. Go on, guess. (It was his little sister)

Gender: Male

Star sign: Leo ♌

Height: 5'11"

Orientation: Gay

Nationality/Ethnicity: Icthyan

Favorite Fruit: He's super fond of this obscure Earth fruit called a "lemon". He eats them whole, peel and all. Somebody please teach him not to do this. 😐

Favorite Season: Summer

Favorite Flower: Any and all wildflowers.

Favorite Scent: Cedar. Beating the moth accusations for sure.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: Coffee. He likes it bitter and strong enough to crawl out of the cup under its own power.

Average Hours of Sleep: 5 or 6. He should probably sleep more but it's kind of hard when the distorted whispers of the primordial god that created your planet are emanating from your eye sockets. Most Icthyans learn to accept it as kind of a cursed ASMR, but Roman tends to sleep light anyway.

Dogs or Cats: Cats.

Dream Trip: It says here in my notes that he's always wanted to visit Uranu--ROMAN, SERIOUSLY?!

Number of Blankets: Roman's a hot sleeper, so no blankets for him, thanks.

Random Fact: Like all Icthyans, Roman is amphibious. He has lungs and can breathe on dry land like any Earth Sim, but he's also able to breathe underwater for an extended period of time.

I think everybody and their dog has done this one by now considering ol' Professional Crastinator Laura's stellar time management skills. 🙄 Let's throw a few names out, though. @miss-may-i, @treason-and-plot, @llamabees, @bellakenobi, @kimmiessimmies, @rebelangelsims, @moyokeansimblr, @id-element0. As always, ignore if you've already done it or just don't want to.

[feitania]

We missed you in here Poppy!

Wanna give a welcome back by shipping your moots?

Hope everything is fine and that you feel better now!

wow, that was a nice good morning notification on my phone - not gonna lie this warmed my cold, cold heart.

I didn't really interact with many the past months so I hope they don't mind me tagging and hooking them up. It's safe to say all of my moots deserve the best version of the characters I'm shipping them with

@chronic-claire-universe has hanma shuji wrapped around her little finger - I wanted to call on haitani ran first - who only narrowly lost and remains second- but then I realized that hanma would be a better ride or die partner for her - something she deserves. He might be a cocky asshole but would also give her the moon and the stars without a second thought if she wants them. He is the kind of man who only falls for one type of person but then he is absolutely smitten - claire happens to be this person

@wasurenagusaa definitely owns fushiguro Toji's heart - she knows exactly why. Big, strong, scary men fall to her feet and kiss her in devotion. She is level headed enough to speak her mind and stand her ground while simultaneously being able to put up gently with a force of nature like toji is. The typical infj man trope - like kakucho hitto - comes right after; maybe he's the type to marry while toji is the type to fuck around with.

@anthenais good god, I would love to put my name here to be honest - but a woman like her has men like shiba taiju on a tight leash. He forgets heaven and hell under her gaze - her words are his salvation. I just know she can turn a scary demon into a man bathed in light and love - geto suguru, being the more literate version, claims first place here. The scary dog privilege stays though.

@nkogneatho I know we didn't interact that much the last month and I'm actually really sad about that because she's one of the few people I can call kind and caring with clear conscience, which is why I would ship her with draken the most. She deserves a man who knows how to treat someone right, a gentleman in disguise of a hot fighter. Men like draken can give her security and a firm hand around her throat, whispering love confessions against her skin - the duality that also fits Wakatoshi Ushijima.

@venussins okay so - I know we haven't talked much but this is way too easy - nanami kento is the only standard here, if you reach that you can call yourself worth enough for loni. Loni is an incredible caring person and deserves the same amount of love she gives and nanami, albeit very careful with his emotions, can do that. He's someone who wouldn't kill, but live for her. He is mature, kind and gentle - making the small things important and taking importance out of stressful situations. Funny enough, Beelzebub comes in second and to be honest, I don't even know why. It's just... big strong but shy and gentle men for her.

@kocoir hi. hi I missen you, is that weird? Here is my take: kisaki. Jokes aside, a gemini/aries combo is something only people like Baji Keisuke can handle. I mean that man would burn cars for the hell of it - he thinks she hung the moon and stars and would probably smother her with all the gifts of random things he found/stole that made him think of her

@sixeyesgojo the last two ones are always the shortest because we haven't interacted for a while and the first person who always comes to my mind is Gojo satoru. The vibe, the humor, being funny and all over the place? Some people are just cut from the same cloth and fit together. It's the use of certain emojis I think.

I know she isn't here anymore and tbh I don't even know how to reach her but I still want to mention fae who has a special place in my heart, my rindous glasses to rans baton and she deserves eren who hast to share his place with lovely chifuyu matsuno

[julianottheastrologer]

What do you think of Libra Sun Gemini Moon Pisces rising?💗

Hello sweet hillarysss, how are you?

I hope that you make the rule "on Wednesdays we use pink" so at least one day in the week I have certain with who I'm talking, hahaha

I do believe that your question is relate to the last one, so I'm going to tell how I see these placements in my own way of living, and not just like a astrologer.

Libra Sun - Gemini Moon - Pisces Rising

By my calculations, isn't a trine thing, but is close to be, so you take somes steps in the field and can correlate with the other, some would say that have empty house in these connections field (like the house the sun and moon are) can be difficult, but to me just mean is a free place to pass, so would make things way more easier. What I want to say? Flexibility in change. One day work that area, the other that one, you don't need to finish the book to start the other, just read a book, and them other, why people can't do that?

A side that I know that you do not like, and maybe even struggle is the manipulative word, and even my nickname having Saturn, I'm a Mars child to, that means that I appreciate and applaud any and all forms of fighting. The word itself normally is seeing as a bad one, people will put the first thing as "use another people as puppets to make what you want". But for me is not just that, everything has energy that expand for both sides, that word means to "talk in a way that you know that the other people will entail, because it makes so much sense to them that cannot disagree", changing the way you talk, your behavior, knowing the weak points of someone to make what you want could called as manipulations, but come on, Cleopatra ruled a nation doing that, do you see people hating her?

You do not fight with weapons, you do not fight with aggression actions or direct battle, you take you Cleopatra steps and make things in your way, and as a fighter I will never blame you for trying to do things in your way, to open your on space and battle with words, little expressions and detailed plans, because what matters is to get what you want with the weapons you have.

Why all that? Because I like to write. Just kidding, I struggle a lot to write in english. Bu it because of all of your big three. Venus is a harmonious lady, but have you see what she have done to Psyche? A hell that the others gods need to help. Mercury is a god of medicine, he refuses to cause warm and use weapons, what he does do get what we want? Talk exactly what the person need, do a step by step speech to the person do what he needs. And Neptune, he is called calm now, but before he had his own realm, he was a furious god, if he never get his realm he would be the representation of destruction, not Pluto or Saturn.

Your Sun and Rising says that you have a destructive side that is not received as good as a Aries destruction, people don't get your rage because they always thing as a fire way, not in a water or air way, here we have a something called "mormaço", the best way I could translate it is Hot, sultry weather, or the hot and humid fog, resulting from strong heat, is when it rains and things get really hot. That's the part that you hide, you have that rage that burn people just like fire, but it's caused by water and air. You can embrace that side of yours to, just like all the others, is beautiful in the same way. Remember that Venus, the god of beauty, have as the biggest love Mars, the god of war, battles are always charged with desire, passion and love for what we have and don't want to give to anyone.

I hope this helps and make sense. I am always available to talk, and just like always "time zone". I always try to say thinks that you could not find in another place. In the statistics you is by biggest fan, so thank you for the opportunity.

With love,

Madam Saturn 💋

[votingdog]

the signs as shit i heard kids say in high school

aries: "i just went out to my car and got my water"

"there's literally a gun threat right now"

"yeah and im a white male so"

taurus: "i find women in power super hot. like, if we got into a fight she'd kick my ass"

gemini: "guys what's it like it have parents that love each other?"

"wouldn't know" x3

cancer: "throw another marker, jaren, i swear to god i'll do nothing"

leo: "he texted me last night asking me to sneak out with him and so i laid there, all tucked into my bed and said 'the devil aint gettin me tonight.'"

virgo: "dragon ball z isn't an anime, it's a lifestyle"

libra: "we played minecraft bro"

"she's a keeper. she's a whole ass wife"

scorpio: "well im sorry you lost your boyfriend to first of all me and now fortnite, but no reason to get pissy"

sagittarius: "if she goes through the military, gets stationed in nebraska, /and/ steals my girl, she deserves her."

capricorn: "im gonna fight you right here. we're gonna throw hands"

"can we throw legs instead?"

"give me 15-20 minutes to stretch then yes"

aquarius: "he's really hot, not gonna lie"

"it's.. a frog"

pisces: "lofi's like vaporwave for pussies"

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

Elder Scrolls Legends: Isle of Madness DLC: plot and lore summary for those who don't have the time or the will to play it

All Elder Scrolls legends stories have are framed as stories told by Kellen, a traveling moth priest, and Nagh, his furry boyfriend (?), who really like to hear the man talk, in their long and perilous journeys across Tamriel to better pass the time.

Kellen, who has always till now narrated stories he saw on the scrolls he carries around, stories about the shezarine Forgotten Hero, this time decides to tell a different kind of story, one he remembers from a old journal he found long ago.

As of now, we have no knowledge of when exactly any of this happening. However, since they treat the Return to Clockwork City DLC, which is happening right during the Skyrim Dragon War, as old history, we can assume this is happening way late in the 4th era, perhaps even the 5th.

Anyway, Kellen decides to tell us the story of a new "hero."

Talym Rend. He was a spy for the empire, stationed in Morrowind, and the journal was his. He narrates of how his son, Nevos, had been struck by a terrible madness, and how no healer, no temple priest, not even the ashlanders could heal the boy. He so decides to venture into the shivering isles, home of Sheogorath, corner of the house of troubles, and petition for him to heal his son.

We don't know when specifically this is also happening either. Morrowind isn't a smoking ruin, and the tribunal temple is still the local religion, so it's not the 4th era. The existence of a united empire deploying troops in both Morrowind and High Rock might make us assume this is happening during the 3rd era, before the events of Morrowind, but after the warp in the west? The details are confused.

Anyway, Talym finds a strange door in Morrowind, and by passing it he reaches the fringes of Sheogorath Realm.

There, we meet our first supporting character.

Cyriel is a sneaky little shit. She distracts Talym with the prospect of some sick weapon, and warns him about the incoming fight with the gate keeper, only to steal his gold purse one second later by going "Can't Help Being a Gemini Shadow."

Talym so ventures into the fringe, and finds a garden of swords, growing from the ground, and among them, a axe specifically grown to kill the gate keeper.

He uses it to kill the mountain of a flesh atronach, only for cyriel to come out of the bushes to thank him for all the work he's done for her, and walking onto the gates of madness.

Reached New Sheoth, however...

And so Talym is out to seek glory to amuse the mad god.

First, he meets once again Cyriel. The cheeky bugger has gotten herself trapped in a trap and is now trying to extort Talym's help via deception and false humility, all of this at the No-Rats Camp, a giant camp whose owner, the eponymous Nervous Giant, is terrified by Rats and Skeevers. Talym manages to make him run away and saves Cyriel, asking for his purse back, only for Cyriel to vanish in the shrubbery once again.

Second, he meets the second supporting cast member of his adventure.

The Orc Bard Luzrah gro-Shar, a gentle soul, who incidentally has the menu theme stuck in her head due to a magical cave filled with colored grumites. You help her finish her song, and she warmly salutes him.

And then, he meets the most peculiar of men (man?).

A man with a split personality, Tavyar (Rayvat?) who believes one is constantly following the other with ill intent. Talym makes them notice that they are apparently the same person, only for the 2 to get enraged and attack together... as one?

Killed the knight (or was it the mage?), Talym is approached by Haskill, who tells him that Lord Sheogorath is most pleased with him, and will receive him now.

Talym, reluctantly, accepts.

And so it begins. The mad god has also managed to conscript Cyriel and Luzrah in the mission, Sheogorath promising one riches, the other bodily harm if they don't comply, and the unfortunate Threesome is now forced to do the mad god bidding.

First, they must instill the fear of the dead to a Khajiit bandit lord, who lord Sheogorath calls a slur while he's at it, who has killed many a hero before like the Hero of Dawn and the Red Avenger, and is now afraid of no enemy, especially the dead ones.

Talym, who at first tries to spook the Khajiit with some smoke and mirrors, is in the end gifted by Haskill with a powerful amulet, that can capture weakened ghosts to later unleash on unsuspecting victims.

The bandit lord is left, fleeing into the night, haunted by the ghosts of those he had killed.

Second, a Dunmer Baron in Morrowind, owner of several Kwama Egg Mines, and sworn enemy of a rich Betty Netch Herder. The trio must convince the man, who has always had everything handled to him on a silver platter in life due to his noble and rich birth, that he is more than a simple mortal, is to boost his ego to comical proportions.

Talym so disguised himself as a prophet, and calls the baron "the Prince of the Prophecy, whose words always come true." He so asks the Baron to make three statement, three wishes, and see how they will hold true.

The first, is asking for his Kwama to lay golden eggs, a task easily fulfilled by Luzrah (" Didn't I tell you guys other than a hard I'm also a superb painter?").

The second, is for his rival's bull netches, the most gentlest of creatures, to rampage on his farm, another task easily fulfilled by simply harming the farm's betty netches in front of the bulls.

And third, for a snowstorm to start despite it being Morrowind in the middle of a particularly hot summer, which is another task fulfilled by hijacking a local telvanni mushroom tower and using it as a catalyst for a overpowered blizzard spell.

After the 3 portents are fulfilled, the baron, mad with power, decides to use his newfound "powers" to smite down his rival in a duel, and, once done so, he decides that he is capable of flight, launching himself from a Cliffside before anyone, let alone a horrified Luzrah, who unroll then was having a blast at the Baron looking silly and believing such obvious bull, can stop him.

The baron falls to his death, and Lurzah leaves the party, disgusted with watch she and the others have done.

Now, more somber, the zany adventures they seemed to have till now come to an end...

Starts the second part of this story.

Talym and Cyriel reach the border between High Rock and Skyrim. A rogue Reachmen Clan, the Doomfang Clan, is trying to breach the mountains and establish a small colony in northern high rock, so to keep trade between the 2 provinces on a choke hold.

The empire has sent one of their best generals and spies, General Porcia, Talym old friend and superior during his time as a imperial spy, and his next and last target in order to save his son.

The situation is dire, but Talym would do anything to save his son, even betray a old friend...

So, he intercepts and kills one of her spy couriers, so to tamper with its informations, so to Plant false ones and make her doubt her ability as a spy master...

Only to discover the unthinkable.

The reachmen had perfected a weapon, terrible in its design. A poisonous gas, with no antidote, deathly and pervasive, soon to be unleashed on the imperial garrison, the Breton contingent, stationed there and lead by Porcia.

Cyriel is horrified. She says they must warn the imperial at once, that no one is worth the life of an entire army...

Only For Talym to rebuke her with force. He would sacrifice anyone, even 100 armies to save his son.

Cyriel is disgusted. She leaves, stops, gets his unopened satchel filled with gold, and throws it on the ground at his feet. And then she's gone.

Talym can't stop now, he only has 24 hours left to complete his task, and he's getting desperate. He decides to plant false evidence that a sacred flower growing in a nearby grow, sacred to Lady Mara, can be extracted and used as a counter cloud to the poison, knowing full well that it will most likely do nothing of the sorts and will doom them all to a slow death by gassing.

But, due to the death of the courier, the Reachmen have gotten more alert, and manage to capture Porcia. Talym is so forced to save his old friend, only to later lead her to her doom.

They go together to the sacred grove, where Porcia, believing the flowers to be their only hope, and that the priestess were going to die anyway once the reachmen decided to attack them to prevent the flower from being harvested (something that was never going to happen), orders her men to kill them and take the flowers with force, committing a massacre of pacifist Mara priests trying to resist the imperials as they took their sacred flowers.

The trap is set, the weight of her actions already resting heavy on her mind, Porcia orders a attack against the reachmen stronghold, knowing full well such a enclosed space would be perfect for the deployment of the gas. So, she orders all her men to converge in a narrow passage, and, once the poison cloud is released, she orders to release the sacred flower counter cloud...

And then...

The two gasses have a terrible reaction with each other.

Fire is unleashed on Reahcman and Breton alike, the entirety of the Doomfang Clan, warrior, men, but also women and children living in the stronghold, and an entire imperial legion destroyed and eradicated in a single night, explosions disfiguring and killing and maiming soldiers for life, or kill those lucky enough to get killed. Porcia, miraculously unscathed, perhaps a punishment, or a mercy by lady Mara herself, witnessing her actions and her consequences, becoming more from that day onward, in fear her words might one day again cause such terrible fate, such senseless deaths, for nothing, and thinking it was her fault, hers and her faulty informations.

When it was all Talym's fault instead.

The war criminal, because we can't have a elder scrolls legends story mode without the main character being a bloody war criminal, returns home, the conquering hero, ecstatic to finally see his some again, whole and-

But his son is gone.

And only a tomb lays in his place. A tomb Talym himself built over a year ago.

He doesn't understand. How did that happen? Sheogorath must have tricked him somehow, so Talym returns to the isles, his mind getting more and more deranged as time passes and the weight of his actions start making itself clear, all with actions and horrors for nothing, the man slipping more and more into insanity as he forgets who he is, as he sees normal trees coming to life, and mudcrabs talking and trying to sell him their wares, and strange... colored grumites... singing... the menu theme song?

Lurzah is back, during Talym darkest hour, for the friend that helped her with her own song, despite everything he has done.

She wakes him from his delirium, and tells him that the only way for him to heal, is to face his past, maybe with the help of a ancient orc song, so powerful that it can send you in a trance and let you fight your darkest self.

But that's not enough. He must learn the truth, he must find Sheogorath and demand answers. So Lurzah tells him or a mighty warrior, someone Sheo himself was afraid of, trapped in a ancient cell in cavern at the fringes of insanity... or perhaps sanity?

So, they enter the cell, and free its prisoner, who was no other than...

Haskill's evil brother?

Dyus, keeper of the records of Jyggalag, the prince of order, the last thing of Jyggalag left in the isles, for not even Sheogorath could bring himself to kill his last link to his past.

Well, his second to last.

For the sword of Jyggalag is somewhere to be found, and, by using it against Sheogorath, he too will be faced with the memories of what he has done, of what he was, and, perhaps, will be compelled so to tell Talym the truth about what happen to his son.

Talym finds the sword, and returns to New Sheoth, bidding one last farewell to Lurzah, who tells him there are no ill feelings between them, and who probably decided to go search for where the hell Cyrial has gotten herself into to get her out of trouble, thus starting a epic Orsimer/Bosmer bard/thief lesbian love story to span the ages.

(Or maybe not, this one can dream).

Talym reaches Sheogorath, amazed that the man is still standing after his ordeal, and that he has managed to find the sword of order of all weapons. Talym directs his sword against Sheogorath, and demands an explanation.

Which Sheogorath, in all fairness, does give.

Via mind fucking flashbacks of course, but big still count as a explanation:

Back then, when Talym was still a imperial spy under porcia, the Black Worm Cult murdered his "partner" (Never mentioned if romantic or work partner. Since we see no spouse to speak of I'm assuming they killed the guy husband and spy partner and Nevos is adopted), so he decides to infiltrate the black worm cult himself to dismantle it from within, despite Porcia insists that he should take a break and spend more time with his son.

Alas, tragedy strikes. The cult discovers what his going on, and puts Talym in front of a terrible test.

Prove his worthiness to the cause...

Via the trial of ruthlessness.

This is by far the most chilling fucking scene and match in the history of this fucking game.

Whatever you do, you cannot save your son.

The spell in your hand, blood sacrament, is a damaging spell, and both creatures are ready to attack. There are 3 ways to kill your son.

Even if you pass, one of the two cultists will assume you failed the test, and comment on what a shame it was, only to then have the creature attack the boy by itself.

Memories come back like a flood. He had asked Sheogorath to forget the terrible action he had to commit, to kill his own beloved son, only for him to manipulate his memories so he could come back to him, years later, and do his dark bidding again.

Sheogorath and if he wants to do it all over again, and let him make him forget all of his pain and misery rather than have to face it for the rest of his miserable life.

But Talym has learned his lesson now. He must not run away from pain, but must healthily deal with his loss rather than strike bargains with mad gods. He has learned to live with the truth and his past, no matter the pain.

He then asks if Sheogorath if he can say the same for himself.

Talym strikes him with the sword of order one, two, three times, each strike making memories of his past as the prince of order flood in Sheogorath's mind, the mad god first disgusted by his last self, later scared, and in the end defeated, begging Talym to stop, to take away the memories with him and return home, something Talym agrees only after having the mad god swear to not harm or retaliate on neither him or on Cyrial and Luzrah again, who were probably having wild lesbian sex in Lurzah's colored music cave as all of this was happening and Sheogorath started making rain flaming cheese from the skies as he pleaded for Talym to go the fuck away from him.

And so the story end. Talym returns to his empty home to deal with his grief, alone, and leave us a warning: "no matter what devil might try to bargain with you, memories and grief are important to us, and we should never give them away, no matter how painful they might seem."

The story ends, and we return to out travelers from the start, with Nagh obligatory sarcastic closing statement: "Jeez, man, Naagh is beginning to think you only know angsty stories, it's the 3rd time you made this one cry with one," as a city appears on the horizon.

[tequilastrology]

My experience with the signs in my life

Aries female: so stubborn is incredible. A hot head. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Yells a lot. Cares a lot about her family. Very concerned about her diet. She looks like a cinnamon roll but is a beast inside.

Aries male : very intelligent, probably the most intelligent. Can either have a very scientific mind or a very literary mind. Loves to read. LOVES to make puns. Horrible ones. Has the biggest laugh.

Taurus female: MY BIGGEST LOVE. Literally the cutest thing. She is so smart and caring and it's true: she loves to eat. Cares so much about everyone, not only her close friends. She almost never get angry but when she does. Ouch.

Taurus male: a cutie. Always ready to cheer you up. DOES NOT. BELIEVE. IN. ASTROLOGY. Likes scientific shit. Loves old movies. Always laughs at your jokes. The best friend you can find. Loves Shrek.

Gemini female: so strong and independent. Her hair is always on point, so is her outfit. Either very tall or very short. They talk a lot and they love listening to you. Geminis are actually very lovable people. Best companion for a boring class or for lunch break.

Gemini male: very bold and confident about himself. Does his own thing. It's not that he is a dick, it's just that he has his own problems to take care of. Except Trump, Trumps is really a dick. Im sorry Geminis that he is in your sign. The cool guy of the class who has a different girl every week. A lil fuckboy but fun to have a chat with. Loves videogames and perfect pal to get drunk with.

Cancer female: not a crybaby. Actually HATES to cry in public. More often than you think, very extroverted. Very passionate about what she loves. High ambitions, starts many things and then get bored. So many puns oh god.

Cancer male: oh boy. "Nightmare dressed as a daydream". Makes you feel so special. Boyfriend material. Usually dark hair and dark eyes. Not very tall. Adorable. Special laugh. Will do great things in life. Very creative but kinda introvert(?) WILL RATHER DIE THAN CRY IN PUBLIC.

Leo female: very close about her private things but she will open up if you demonstrate her she can trust you. Loves everyone. Not that confident about herself. Very confident about the world, tho. Wants to move someplace else and experience. People respect her.

Leo male: Stonehead™. Literally smokes all the time to forget about the pain he feels. Hides emotions and then explodes, usually with rage. Either very close to you that he calls you every day, or he'll completely ignore you. Smart even tho it doesn't look like. The lonely wolf.

Virgo female: so stubborn and independent. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Can get very clingy to the people she loves but sometimes neglect other people she loves even tho she doesn't notice. Get mad easily for the little things. The queen. Just listen to her, she knows the shit.

Virgo male: cute but doesn't have his own personality. Sometimes gets involved in ugly companies and does things he doesn't want to. Very sensitive but tries to hide it. Actually cares about you even tho he wants to appear a tough boy. Pretends he doesn't care about school, ends up with all A. Probably very good at soccer.

Libra female: becomes part of your family if she isn't already. Amazing lipsticks. Always has great stories to tell. Lives in the clouds. Forgets about things easily but won't forget the important things. Has so many passions but get easily distracted when she is studying for an exam. Perfect person to binge watch Sherlock with.

Libra male: my everything. Pretends he's a gryffindor but deep down is a slytherin. Stunning. Gets high grade without doing shit. The teacher favorite. The one you can do stupid shit with. Will do anything for you. Listens to you 24/7. Loves tv shows. Very smart. Will probably end up doing something very important. Perfect dad.

Scorpio female: actually very sweet and caring, as much as cancer. Never shows off her emotions but you'll know when she cares about you. She's like a mama bear. She'll call you if she feels you are not happy. She'll call you constantly. Extroverted and kind. Best presents ever. Looks naive but very cautious.

Scorpio male: ok so my ex fwb was a scorpio and i gotta say they get emotionally attached. Pretend they don't care AT ALL and then calls u at 2 in the morning telling u they love you. Just be careful cause they don't know what they want. Obsessed with electronic things and sex.

Sagittarius female: literally on fire. SHE. TALKS. SO. MUCH. I have so many different feelings about her. Either i love completely or I can't stand her. She pretends she knows everything. She's so slow at doing everything, except talking. Laughs a lot. Very sensitive deep down. So loud.

Sagittarius male: Pretty introverted. The fire is hidden. He's a freaking badass. If he cares about you, he will show you. Most likely to call you at midnight for your birthday. Very sweet. Goes big or goes home, especially in love. Both a cinnamon and a sinnamon roll. Like if he ain't in the same political party as you, just don't mention politics. That's when the fire shows.

Capricorn female: so. she actually cares about you. but she has so much shit going on so she might forget to come at a place you invited her, she won't even apologize but when something happens to you, be sure she'll call. She's absolutely cute and she has been hurt so many times so it's hard for her to trust people completely.

Capricorn male: THE FUCKING FANBOY. He loves to travel and to try new things. He is so shy but with his friends he's crazy. Laughs at his own jokes. Extremely sensitive and when he loves, he loves hard. So intelligent and interesting. Absolutely adorable.

Aquarius female: the sweetest. she gets clingy to everyone but because she wants to have friends and do things and has a lot of problems but holds everything in and puts her friends first and she's hurt. The most precious human. She needs, she deserves to be loved the most. Learns very quickly and she's very honest.

Aquarius male: the devil™. Actually he is funny, like so many jokes, but sometimes it's just too much. He hates when people offend him. Gets on the defensive. Kinda selfish and cares a lot about like 3 people (?). Like he will kill for them. So much drama, boy. Probably failed history and algebra 2 twice.

Pisces female: such a badass and a cutiepie at the same time i don't even know how this is possible. she has such a strong personality and loves her friends. Determined and will fight with her teeth for what she loves. You need to have a pisces in your life. She always says she will kill a person but then she just like run away.

Pisces male: like just like the pisces female. Cares so much about his family and shows his emotions easily, whether is anger or sadness or happiness. Determined but also insecure about himself, but will do great things.

[figistired]

The Signs as Grif quotes

Aries: What can I say about Sarge, except of course good riddance... heyo! But seriously, Sarge lived a great life. And now that he's dead, our lives are pretty good, too. Zing!

Taurus: Oh yeah? Well there's no "you" either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!

Gemini: I think it looks more like a puma.

Cancer: Hey Sarge, what's up Sarge? Simmons is doing some experiments and I'm helping him, Sarge! Right now we're doing one where everyone talks slow and the lights are super bright and I can smell clouds and it is so hot in here!

Leo: We're gonna fucking die!

Virgo: I love boners!

Libra: I was born to take it easy!

Scorpio: Lopez! He just said Lopez! I understood that! I can speak Spanish!

Sagittarius: Don't you think it's ironic that you're about to shoot us when we don't have enough ammo?

Capricorn: Guess what? They already have a color for lightish-red. You know what it's called? Pink.

Aquarius: I would just like everyone to know, that I suck. And that I'm a girl. And I like ribbons in my hair, and I want to kiss all the boys.

Pisces: One of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a God, watching everything. You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.

[agent-yolk]

The Signs as Grif quotes

Aries: What can I say about Sarge, except of course good riddance... heyo! But seriously, Sarge lived a great life. And now that he's dead, our lives are pretty good, too. Zing!

Taurus: Oh yeah? Well there's no "you" either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!

Gemini: I think it looks more like a puma.

Cancer: Hey Sarge, what's up Sarge? Simmons is doing some experiments and I'm helping him, Sarge! Right now we're doing one where everyone talks slow and the lights are super bright and I can smell clouds and it is so hot in here!

Leo: We're gonna fucking die!

Virgo: I love boners!

Libra: I was born to take it easy!

Scorpio: Lopez! He just said Lopez! I understood that! I can speak Spanish!

Sagittarius: Don't you think it's ironic that you're about to shoot us when we don't have enough ammo?

Capricorn: Guess what? They already have a color for lightish-red. You know what it's called? Pink.

Aquarius: I would just like everyone to know, that I suck. And that I'm a girl. And I like ribbons in my hair, and I want to kiss all the boys.

Pisces: One of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a God, watching everything. You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.

[remember-me-to-the-parish]

The Signs as Grif quotes

Aries: What can I say about Sarge, except of course good riddance... heyo! But seriously, Sarge lived a great life. And now that he's dead, our lives are pretty good, too. Zing!

Taurus: Oh yeah? Well there's no "you" either! So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the goddamn team. The team sucks!

Gemini: I think it looks more like a puma.

Cancer: Hey Sarge, what's up Sarge? Simmons is doing some experiments and I'm helping him, Sarge! Right now we're doing one where everyone talks slow and the lights are super bright and I can smell clouds and it is so hot in here!

Leo: We're gonna fucking die!

Virgo: I love boners!

Libra: I was born to take it easy!

Scorpio: Lopez! He just said Lopez! I understood that! I can speak Spanish!

Sagittarius: Don't you think it's ironic that you're about to shoot us when we don't have enough ammo?

Capricorn: Guess what? They already have a color for lightish-red. You know what it's called? Pink.

Aquarius: I would just like everyone to know, that I suck. And that I'm a girl. And I like ribbons in my hair, and I want to kiss all the boys.

Pisces: One of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a God, watching everything. You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night.