#i knew they were spanish from the moment i saw their armors

[fuckedupsociety155]

As a peruvian, I approve the message of what if...? S2e06.

[meazalykov]

platonic?

catarina macario x younger!uswnt!reader

summary: your admiration for the older woman turns into a crush

warnings: three year age gap, long chapter

you are twenty-two lacing up for the next game with chelsea, the weight of the blue jersey settling around you like armor.  

this wasn’t new; you’d been doing this since seventeen, since you were a kid at the world cup, barely knowing how to handle all the pressure the world threw at you while winning one of the best trophies a footballer can have. 

somehow, you’d found yourself. at the end of 2019 you went on loan to lyon from gotham, ready to prove your talent to the best audience. 

you weren’t exactly alone though—there was catarina.

being eighteen when you first met catarina, fresh-faced and wide-eyed, you stepped into the lyon training grounds with the kind of awe you couldn’t hide. 

you were on loan, adjusting to life in a new country with a language you barely spoke, and everything felt monumental, as if even the smallest mistakes would echo. 

catarina, twenty-one, was already established and calm, someone who seemed to carry the weight of experience with ease– especially for someone who was young herself. 

she spotted you from across the pitch during your first training session, a quick flash of recognition in her smile as she walked over, her strides confident and sure. 

“hey!!! you’re from new york, right?” she asked, her tone light but curious, that american accent instantly grounding.

“yeah,” you replied, trying not to seem too overwhelmed.

“just... here for a season, you know?”

she grinned. 

“good. i was starting to miss american familiarity here.”

from that moment, a kind of natural mentorship developed between you. 

the three-year difference felt both small and huge; it wasn’t just the age, but the way she carried herself, the calm authority of someone who’d already figured a few things out. in frace, you could go with her anywhere. in america, she was allowed to attend the 21+ places while you had to stay behind with the young national teammates in the hotel rooms. 

little did you know, catarina knew what it was like to leave home for a career, to adapt, and maybe she saw a bit of herself in you, struggling to find your place.

you noticed the steady way she’d watch you on the field, the way she’d wait until after training to approach, giving pointers with a casual tone that softened the critique. 

“you’re trying to force the pass too soon. the forward could never get it without the defender clearing it away,” she’d say once, tossing you the ball after practice as you wiped the sweat off of your forehead with the blue lyon training kit. 

“take a breath, let the play build.”

she’d take the time to show you, positioning you on the field, demonstrating how to look for space, to feel the tempo of the game like it was a second pulse. 

“you’ve got great instincts and speed,” she’d say after you’d gotten it right, her voice warm with approval. 

“just trust them a bit more.”

it wasn’t only on the field that she guided you. early on, when you stumbled over french phrases at cafes or struggled with the simplest exchanges, she’d be there, patient and amused. 

the woman with brazilian ethnicity already knew a few languages. you didn’t, only growing up needing to speak english with very basic levels of spanish. 

sitting in a café with catarina, selma, and amandine–you squinted down at the menu, wrestling with a word that looked more intimidating than it probably was. 

“i can never get this one,” you muttered, half to yourself, as she leaned over your shoulder with a quiet smile.

“that one’s croque-monsieur,” she said, saying it slowly. 

“it’s like fancy– what do you guys call it, grilled cheese?” selma grinned with her strong french accent as you looked at catarina with suspicion. 

“she's right. you’ll like it, trust us.”

“croque-mon-seur?” you tried. all of the girls laughed while catarina started shaking her head. 

“you’ll get it,” she said, giving you a light nudge. 

as weeks turned into months, her presence became something you leaned on without realizing. she’d taken on this mentor role easily, with the kind of warmth that let you feel less alone in a new place. 

she taught you bits of french, not only in words but in the quiet encouragement she offered, like the language itself was something you could share.

on the field, you started to shadow her during drills, watching how she played as an attacking mid—the same position as you. you found yourself asking questions, hungry to learn more even with skill abnormal for a youngster.

cata always answered with that patient tone, never making you feel as though you were asking too much.

during national breaks, there's always a different energy. a familiar choas you’ve come to love since being called up in the 2019 world cup. 

being back with the uswnt squad feels like stepping visiting old friends– because you are. catarina is steady, and calm. on the national team though, you’re usually the one starting over her, especially as the attacking mid, unlike at lyon due to the amount of caps you have over the woman that's older than you. 

she never lets any jealousy slip, always the first to give a pat on the back or a quiet word of praise that lingers more than it probably should.

the locker room screams with excitement before the friendly against portugal, and you’re tying up your signature purple boots, mentally running through the plays. 

suddenly, cat is sitting beside you, her familiar grin softening the tension that’s been settling in your shoulders. maybe its her hands resting your shoulders too.

“you look ready to score a hat trick today,” she murmurs, nudging your shoulder. 

“don’t push it,” you laugh. 

“starting lineup, a vet on the team. you notice how much the coaches and the staff trust you, huh?”

you manage a smile, a bit of heat creeping to your face. 

“they’re trusting me to just... you know, not mess it up too bad.”

she scoffs lightly, her hand moving down to rest on your arm. 

“y/n, you’re seriously too humble,” she says, voice low and just between the two of you. 

“i’ve watched you since i met you in lyon. you have this... confidence, even when you don’t realize it. you don’t just belong here; you are the standard. do you know how insane that is being nineteen years old,” the twenty-two year old rants.

your face feels hot, and you look down, hoping she doesn’t notice the slight blush you can feel creeping up. 

“yeah, well, it’s just pre-game stuff, you know? everyone gets this way.”

she tilts her head, a small smile playing at her lips. 

“sure, if ‘pre-game stuff’ means having every player watching you just to see how it’s done or what to do next.” she moves closer, her voice dropping even lower. 

“you’re more than good, y/n. i’d watch you play any day.”

the words linger, carrying a weight you don’t want to examine too closely. she’s always been supportive, always the first to praise you, but somehow her words feel different today, more intense, and it settles in your chest, creating a strange, fluttering warmth you refuse to acknowledge.

“thanks, cat,” you mumble, fiddling with your shin guard. 

“i just... i appreciate it. and you know, don’t be too complimentary. i still have to actually do my job out there.”

she laughs, soft and genuine, her hand squeezing your arm before pulling away. 

“oh, don’t worry. i’ll be out there to keep you in check if your ego gets too big.”

just as you try to shake off the blush spreading across your cheeks, she leans in, her eyes catching yours in a way that makes it impossible to look away. “but, y/n,” she murmurs, her voice softer, almost affectionate, “don’t hold back out there.” 

you swallow, heart thudding harder than usual. 

“i… yeah. yeah, no holding back.”

she smirks, giving you one last, lingering glance before she walks away, leaving you trying to convince yourself that your racing pulse is just the pre-game jitters.

skipping two months later– you were so happy winning the champions league with lyon. you felt as if you were standing at the peak of everything you’d worked toward.

the final whistle echoed in your ears, your teammates’ arms wrapped around you in victory since you delivered a goal and two assists for the 4-2 win.

right there beside you was catarina, her face alight with that mix of joy and pride that only winning a title brings. the two of you had spent a year pushing each other to new limits, and this—this win felt like the culmination of everything. 

the celebration was wild, electric, stretching late into the night, but a bittersweet feeling hung in the back of your mind. 

you knew what came next: you’d have to return to new york, back to gotham.

a week back in new york, trying to settle back into familiar routines, you still found yourself thinking about lyon, about that feeling of playing on european soil, where the game felt more appreciated. 

the stakes somehow higher. you missed the thrill, the challenge, and most of all, you missed catarina’s presence on the field, her constant encouragement, her quiet, steady influence.

and then the call came from chelsea.

it was unexpected, a five-year contract offered by the london club, and the details? promising—more than you’d hoped for. it was an opportunity to stay in europe, to grow in a league you’d admired from afar, and in that instant, the decision felt like a piece of fate falling into place. 

chelsea felt right, like the next step, and the choice was almost immediate. within days, you found yourself preparing for a new chapter in london.

it’s 2022, and as you settle into your new life in london, there’s a sense of excitement that only grows with each passing day. the new team, the city, the endless possibilities—it feels fresh, like you’re on the edge of something big. 

yet, in quiet moments, you feel a pang of nostalgia for your year in lyon, for the late-night talks with catarina after long training days, the ease of sharing the same field, the bond you’d built. 

at chelsea, you built a good bond with all of your teammates. you’ve gotten to be close friends with lauren while having magda as your mentor. 

you missed catarina though, you had no idea why. she’d been more than just a teammate—she’d been a friend, a mentor, and you knew that her absence at the club level would be felt deeply.

you remind yourself that national breaks aren’t far off. you’ll see her again soon enough, the familiar red, white, and blue kit would be uniting you once more.

at chelsea, your time quickly became more than just playing football; it felt like finding a new family. 

magdalena, with her calm authority and easy smile, became an older sister figure, a presence you leaned on during tough games or even just long training sessions. pernille was right there beside her, offering a comforting mix of humor and insight that kept you grounded. 

together, they were like this solid, reassuring pair, and they had a way of making you feel like you belonged.

emma, your coach, saw something in you which is why she wanted you at the club per her request. she pushes you forward and shapes you into a player who could meet the intensity of the league.

 

her guidance, paired with the steady support of magda and pernille, along with your now bestfriend lauren, helped you grow both on and off the field.

at the end of the 22/23 season, magda and pernille gathered you aside after a practice session, their expressions a bit more serious than usual. magda was the first to speak.

“we wanted you to hear it from us,” she started, giving your arm a light squeeze. 

“pernille and i are… we’re leaving chelsea.”

you blinked, trying to process. 

“wait, leaving? like… transferring?”

pernille nodded, her smile soft but sad. 

“to bayern. it’s… it’s a chance for us to play together in germany, and we felt like this was the right time.”

you felt a pang in your chest, sadness bubbling up because you couldn’t imagine chelsea without them. but you couldn’t hold back a smile either, one that came from genuine happiness for them. 

“i’m gonna miss you both,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, 

“but i’m so happy you’re doing this together.”

magda pulled you into a hug, her arms warm and steady around you. 

“you’ll always have us, no matter where we go.”

you laughed, hugging them both tightly. 

“and i expect updates… lots of them.”

it wasn’t long after they left when lauren walked up to you one morning in the lounge, an unusual grin on her face.

as you were twirling your iced coffee together, making sure the creamer mixed well with the blonde coffee, lauren stops your wrist with a smirk. 

“heard the news?” lauren asked, a twinkle in her eye.

“what news?” you replied, eyebrows raised as you sit the paper cup down on the counter.

“your friend catarina is coming to chelsea. emma signed her on for a few seasons.”

you laughed, shaking your head. 

“yeah, right, lauren.”

lauren can be a jokster sometimes. however, she crossed her arms, looking far too pleased with herself. 

“seriously. emma wanted her on the team, and cat’s contract with lyon was up. she’ll be here to visit us at training soon.”

the idea sounded impossible, almost surreal. cat, here? with you, at chelsea?

it wasn’t until you saw her stepping onto the training field, a black crossbody bag slung over her shoulder, that it hit you. you froze, hardly believing your eyes until she spotted you, her familiar smile breaking across her face. 

before you knew it, you were running toward her, your feet barely touching the ground as you threw yourself into her arms.

“cat!” you exclaimed, nearly breathless.

she laughed, pulling you into a tight hug. 

“hey! god, it’s good to see you.”

pulling back, making sure to consider her knee injury, you couldn’t help but grin, words spilling out all at once. 

“i can’t believe you’re here! lauren told me, but i thought she was messing with me.”

cat shook her head, her own smile warm and genuine as she holds your waist. 

“nope, it’s real. looks like we’re back on the same team.”

just as you opened your mouth to ask about training together, her expression shifted, a slight grimace.

“i know, but with my knee its going to be a while.”  she hesitated, glancing down at her knee. 

“its alright, you’ll come back stronger!” you smile, your dimples showing as you show catarina around the place before you had to go to training practice. 

six months later– it’s 2024. catarina’s first day to light training feels like an event, with the entire team gathered in the gym to show support for her coming back from an acl injury. 

everyone’s happy, cheering her on as she settles in for her workout. you stand close by, eyes fixed on her as she picks up the barbell, your attention unwavering. this is a huge step for cat, and you want to be there for her.

as cat positions herself to start her barbell step-ups, sjoeke moves in, hands up, ready to help spot her. 

“i got you, cat,” she says with a smile, stepping up beside her.

before you realize it, you’re already speaking, your voice coming out firm, almost a little too quick as you step behind cat beside sjoeke. 

“no, it’s fine, sjo. i’ll help her.” 

sjoeke pauses, raising an eyebrow at your tone, her smile shifting into something almost skeptical. she looks between you and cat, the air thick with a subtle tension. 

“really?” she asks, voice edged with a hint of challenge. 

“because i can spot her, y/n.”

“i don’t mind,” you insist, feeling the warmth creep up your neck, realizing how eager you sound. 

“i can handle it.”

there’s a beat of silence, the weight of your words hanging in the air, and sjoeke’s expression softens, the hint of a smirk playing at the corner of her mouth. her eyes narrow slightly, an amused glint in her gaze as she takes in your stance, the way your attention doesn’t waver from cat. 

she puts her hands up, taking a step back with a knowing look. 

“alright, y/n. she’s all yours.”

the team’s eyes are on you as you step into place beside catarina, your focus sharpening as you move in to spot her. cat glances up, smiling at you. 

“thanks,” she says softly, her eyes warm, trusting.

“anytime,” you murmur, feeling the faintest flicker of nerves as you help steady her. your hands hover near her shoulders, close enough to catch her if needed, your gaze lingering on her face longer than you intended. 

she doesn’t seem to notice, focused on her workout, but you can’t help the way your eyes trace the line of her jaw, the curve of her shoulders, the way her breath deepens with each step up. 

there’s an intimacy in the moment that feels almost palpable, and you struggle to tear your gaze away, as if caught in something you’re not ready to admit to.

from the wall, lauren’s leaning back, watching with a bemused smile as you stay glued to cat’s side, every bit the protective spotter. 

when she catches the way you look at cat, something just a bit too intense, she comes over to you after you finish helping cat.

“so,” lauren starts, her voice a low murmur, 

“what’s with that look?”

you shoot her a glance, brushing it off. 

“what look?”

she raises an eyebrow, grinning. 

“you’re looking at her like she’s a piece of cheesecake or some shit?”

“i don’t know,” you mutter, shrugging, trying to keep your tone casual, but lauren isn’t buying it.

“right, you just happened to nearly elbow sjoeke out of the way to help her.” she nudges you, clearly entertained as you walk out of the gym area with lauren following. 

“i didn’t know you were so... possessive.”

“i’m just helping a teammate, lauren,” you say, a bit more defensively than you meant.

she laughs, exchanging a look with katie, who’s been watching with a raised eyebrow. 

“teammate, huh? well, looks like you’re a really supportive one. maybe you could give me a back massage,”

“gross,” you laugh while rolling your eyes playfully. 

you make your way to the lounge, hoping to avoid further questions. as you step in, ashley, mille, and zecira are all sitting together, looking up as lauren walks in behind you, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“guys, guess what i just saw,” lauren announces, voice full of laughter. 

“y/n practically staking a claim on catarina during training.”

you feel the heat rising to your face, reaching for a protein bar to keep your hands busy. 

“lauren, do you ever shut up?” you mutter, trying to play it off, but the room erupts in laughter.

ashley shakes her head, grinning wide. 

“i fucking knew it! i knew you had a little thing for cat.”

“please,” you scoff, rolling your eyes as you open the protein bar. 

“you all have overactive imaginations.”

just as you think you might have a chance to let it blow over… sam, who sits on the couch beside mille, finishes her call with her fiance kristie, her voice carrying a hint of amusement. 

“so, y/n,” she starts, her grin just as playful, 

“you gonna do something about this little crush, or what?”

you sigh, taking a bite of the protein bar. 

“what crush?”

everyone around you laughs, clearly not fooled, and as much as you try to deny it, you can’t shake the way your heart jumps whenever you’re around cat.

march 2024 arrives and it feels like the start of something new and familiar all at once. it’s game day against leicester city, but there’s an extra pulse of excitement coursing through the chelsea locker room as everyone pulls on their light blue kits. 

for you, this game holds a different kind of significance: it’s the first time you’ll be sharing the pitch with catarina since your days at lyon, and though she won’t be starting, just knowing she’s there—back from the injury that’s kept her away from the game she loves—adds a layer of warmth to everything.

you catch her watching you from across the locker room, her gaze dropping from your eyes to linger as you adjust your shirt and tug on your socks. it’s almost enough to make your breath hitch, and it doesn’t help that the kit has a snug fit, a sleek light blue that seems to catch her attention. 

her eyes trail up slowly, as if she’s memorizing every detail, and when her gaze meets yours, she looks away with a small, shy smile. 

erin, sitting beside her, sees it all and nudges cat in the shoulder with a smirk that says she’s absolutely onto her.

the pre-game energy is high as you head out onto the field, and while you’d usually be in the midfield, today you’re positioned as left-back. the shift feels strange, like wearing a jacket that’s just slightly too big. you tell yourself to adjust, to focus on the rhythm of the game and do your part.

as the whistle blows and the play begins, you find yourself absorbed in the moment, thoughts of cat lingering but pushed to the back as you settle into the role.

in the 38th minute, an opportunity opens. bjorn is making a move toward the box, slipping past defenders, her eyes focused and ready. you’re aware of the ball at your feet, feeling the familiar weight of it as you move up the wing. scanning the field, you find the angle and send a cross sailing toward bjorn, hoping she’ll connect. 

she times her jump perfectly, meeting the ball with a header that sends it directly into the net. the crowd erupts, a sea of blue cheering as your teammates swarm bjorn in celebration. 

a grin spreads across your face, pride surging as you run back to position, your gaze flicking to the bench where you spot cat clapping, her eyes on you, the corners of her mouth pulled into an admiring smile.

the game presses on, and in the 44th minute, you spot another chance. mayra’s waiting near the edge of the box, finding an opening just wide enough for a clean shot. slipping past the defender, you send the ball right to her feet. 

she doesn’t waste a second, taking the shot and sending it straight into the net with a perfect strike. you jump on her back in celebration, happy to give the second assist for a player that is out of position.

it's 2-0 before halftime, and as you jog back, you’re buzzing with the energy of the lead.

the walk to the locker room is filled with celebratory chatter, but as soon as you settle onto the bench, your mind starts to go over every play. being out of position has you feeling exposed, vulnerable in a way that’s hard to shake. 

you sit there, running through every mistake, every step you might have taken wrong, the weight of your own expectations pressing down on your shoulders.

even with the two assists, you’re surprised that no defensive errors you’ve committed ended up with a conceding goal. 

you’re so lost in thought that you don’t notice cat coming up beside you until her hand lands gently on your shoulder, her voice soft and soothing. 

“hey,” she murmurs, leaning in slightly so only you can hear. 

“you’re doing great out there. seriously, y/n.”

you manage a nod, though your shoulders still feel tense. she must notice, because without a word, she pulls you into a hug, her arms wrapping around you in a way that feels grounding. 

the warmth of her hand on your back, tracing gentle circles, starts to ease the tension, her touch a reminder to breathe.

“you’ve got this,” she whispers, her voice steady and close, almost like a secret between the two of you. 

“you’re holding it down out there, trust me. emma even said that you’re doing great defensively for someone that's mainly an attacker.”

you let yourself lean into her a little more, savoring the reassurance, her breath warm against your temple. it feels grounding, safe, and for a moment, you don’t want to let go. 

there’s something about the way her arms hold you, strong yet gentle, that makes the anxiety ebb away, leaving a warmth that has nothing to do with the game.

just then, sjoeke clears her throat from across the room. 

“gross,” she calls out, a playful grin on her face. 

“get a room, you two.”

you and cat pull back, laughing, though you feel the heat rush to your face as she lets go, her hand lingering on your arm for a moment longer than necessary. 

“thanks, cat,” you say softly, offering her a smile.

“anytime,” she replies, her gaze lingering, warm and full of something you can’t quite name.

you head back out for the second half, but she stays on the bench, still recovering, cheering from the sidelines. knowing she’s there, watching, makes you feel a little lighter, your movements sharper, steadier. 

it’s the 72nd minute, you’re  focused on pushing up the left flank, linking up with your attackers, and keeping your defensive responsibilities in check. your eyes scan the field, watching for openings, and it’s only when you catch lauren jogging toward the sideline and the fourth ref holding up the number board that you realize who’s coming on in her place. 

catarina is stepping onto the pitch, and despite your efforts to keep composed, a bright smile tugs at your lips. this is the first time in so long that you’ll be playing together, and for once, you let yourself admit it, if only silently—you have a crush on her.

you turn your attention back to the field, your heart beating a little quicker, that sense of familiarity and excitement building with each touch of the ball. 

she’s out here with you now, right where you’ve wanted her to be, and knowing she’s nearby is enough to make you feel even more determined.

in the 78th minute, you get the ball near midfield and start driving up, your pace quickening as you swerve around a few defenders. your feet are light, every movement fluid as you weave through their attempts to block you. 

when you reach the edge of the box, you catch sight of cat, her positioning perfect. without a second thought, you use the outside of your foot to send a quick pass in her direction, the ball rolling smoothly toward her.

cat doesn’t hesitate. she meets the ball with a precise kick, sending it past the goalkeeper and straight into the net. 

as the crowd erupts, you can’t help the excitement that surges through you. before you know it, you’re running toward her, a wide grin on your face, arms open as you close the distance.

“cat!” you shout, laughter in your voice as you reach her, wrapping her in a hug. her arms come around you instantly, holding you tight, and for a moment, it feels like the entire stadium fades away, leaving just the two of you in the center of the pitch.

“we did it,” she murmurs, her voice soft, just for you to hear.

“that was all you!” you cheer.

you feel her grip on you tighten, and your heart swells as the rest of the team joins in, everyone piling into the group hug, laughter and cheers filling the air.

the game’s finally  over, and the stadium is cheering with the energy of chelsea’s victory. you’ve got a genuine grin on your face, eyes drawn to cat as she makes her way through a string of congratulatory hugs from the team. 

she’s radiant, practically glowing in the aftermath of the match, and watching her light up like that stirs something deep within you. but, as thrilled as you are for her, there’s a quiet, nagging feeling creeping up in your chest.

a thought crosses your mind—would she ever really want to be with you? maybe you’re too young, too inexperienced for someone like her. what if she doesn’t even like women? the doubts start stacking up in your mind as you watch her laughing with the others, and it’s impossible to shake the feeling of insecurity as it clouds over your happiness, just for a moment.

emma notices your gaze, the way your smile flickers, and sidles up beside you. 

“everything alright?” she asks, her tone casual but her eyes knowing.

you hesitate, then decide to be honest. 

“i just... i don’t know. it’s nothing, really,” you mumble, but emma doesn’t let it go.

“it doesn’t look like nothing,” she says with a small smile, glancing over at cat. 

“you know, it’s pretty obvious on both sides.”

you blink, taken aback. 

“both sides?”

emma nods. 

“cat likes you too. maybe she doesn’t always show it in the ways you expect, but... it’s there. the entire team can see it.”

her words sink in, warm and reassuring, but also nerve-wracking. what does that mean? do you dare to take it seriously?

before you can ask more, emma steps away, and cat is suddenly in front of you again, grinning and pulling you into a tight, warm hug. the embrace is so close, her arms wrapping around you in a way that feels like more than just a friendly gesture. 

you can feel the steadiness of her breathing, the warmth of her body against yours, and a part of you wishes you could stay like this, here in her arms, forever.

neither of you says anything, and in the quiet of the moment, you’re just holding each other, lost in the feeling. around you, you notice a few chelsea fans snapping pictures, murmurs about a possible new couple, but you don’t even care. 

you’re caught up in her warmth, in the closeness, until you finally let go, smiling softly at her.

later, as the team heads off, you invite a few people over to your apartment to relax. most are too tired to celebrate, and honestly, you’re relieved—hosting company sounds exhausting after a long day, and you’re happy enough to have a quiet night to yourself. 

you head home, showering and settling into your soft pajamas, the contentment from the day still making you smile.

you’re about to head to bed when a knock at the door catches your attention. curious, you pad over and look through the peephole, only to see cat standing there, hands in her sweatpant pockets, looking slightly unsure. 

you quickly unlock and open the door, blinking at her in surprise.

“cat, what are you doing here? it’s almost midnight,” you say, though a grin creeps onto your face.

she shrugs, grinning back. 

“you did say you were hosting company, didn’t you?”

you chuckle, stepping aside to let her in. 

“okay, you got me. want something to drink? i’ve got water, maybe some juice…”

she watches you as you head to the kitchen, her eyes flicking over you, taking in your comfortable clothes and how your body fits in them. 

“water’s fine,” she says, though her gaze lingers a little longer, sending a flutter through your stomach.

you hand her the glass, and as she takes it, you notice her eyes lingering again, tracing over your face, down to your lips, then quickly looking away. the subtle glances have your heartbeat picking up, the room suddenly feeling warmer. 

the way she’s looking at you is... different. intense. it’s as if there’s something unspoken between you, simmering beneath the surface.

she catches you watching her and raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. 

“why are you looking at me like that?”

caught off guard, you feel the heat rising to your cheeks, but, with the comfort of your apartment and the courage you feel just from being around her, you answer truthfully. 

“because... you look beautiful,” you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. the words leave your lips before you even fully realize it, but you don’t regret them.

cat’s eyes widen, her smile softening. she sets down her glass, then takes a step closer, so close that you can feel her warmth radiating. without another word, she reaches for you, pulling you down onto the couch and gently guiding you to sit on her lap. 

you can’t help the small smile that sneaks onto your face as you settle, feeling her hands resting on your hips, grounding you in the moment.

“what are we doing here?” you ask, your voice quiet, curiosity sparking with a mix of nerves and excitement.

cat’s hand brushes a strand of hair away from your face, her thumb tracing lightly against your cheek. “i don’t know... what do you want us to be?” she murmurs, her gaze intense, searching yours for a hint of what you’re feeling.

you swallow, feeling a rush of confidence at her words, the encouragement in her tone. your eyes flick to her lips, and before you can second-guess yourself, you ask, 

“can i kiss you?”

she doesn’t respond with words, just leans forward, her lips meeting yours in a soft, lingering kiss that sends a shiver down your spine. her hand settles on your hip, gentle but possessive, grounding you as you melt into her. 

when you pull back slightly, your heart pounding, you manage a small smile, feeling braver than before.

“will you... will you be my girlfriend?” you whisper, barely able to contain the hope in your voice.

her answering smile is warm and bright, and without a moment’s hesitation, she pulls you back into her embrace, her lips finding yours once more. 

“absolutely.”

masterlist

[wethotcrazy]

WINNING IS MY TRADEMARK

pairing: Pepe Marti x F1 Academy Driver! Reader

word count: 824

i saw this in a vision after listening to strategy by twice about 65748394326789 times.

Josep Maria Marti had always been a force to be reckoned with. Whether it was on the track or off, Pepe's determination bordered on relentless. It wasn’t cocky—it was something deeper, a quiet fire that refused to be extinguished. And now, that fire was entirely focused on her.

The first time Pepe truly noticed her was back in 2022. It was his rookie season in Formula 3, and his first day at Campos Racing. She was there too, already turning heads in Eurocup-3. Her reputation was well known: sharp eyes, sharper wit, and even sharper elbows on track. Pepe had raced against her before in karting and Spanish Formula 4, but back then, she was a name on a leaderboard, a blur of talent. Now, she was right there. Real. Intimidating. Fascinating.

Pepe was easygoing, the kind of guy who could shrug off pressure with a smile. But something about her broke through that armor. The way she carried herself—all confidence and quiet intensity—made him want to know more. He told himself it was just curiosity. He knew better. It was her. It was always going to be her.

The Campos facility became a maze, and Pepe’s mission was simple: find her. At first, it felt impossible. She kept her head down, completely focused on her goals. Pepe had to get creative. He’d linger by the coffee machine, hit the gym at the same time she did, and strike up casual conversations that never quite felt casual to him.

Her responses were polite but brief. For a while, it felt like she didn’t see him at all. Still, Pepe persisted. He watched for the moments she let her guard slip—the quick smile she’d give a teammate, the soft laugh she’d try to stifle. Every glimpse made him more determined.

Pepe Marti was smitten. And stubborn.

It took a year and a half for Pepe to get where he wanted to be: at her side. He endured her teasing about his braces, survived countless moments of awkwardness, and finally worked up the courage to confess. His words were clumsy, his cheeks flushed, but she said yes.

From that moment on, Pepe’s world shifted. Loving her became as much a part of him as racing. No matter how chaotic their lives became with racing schedules, university assignments, and endless travel, they made it work. She was his partner in every sense. They trained together, studied together, and spent late nights battling each other in video games and sim races.

Pepe lived for the moments he could cheer her on at her F1 Academy races, and he knew she did the same for him. Her presence at his races was like a good-luck charm. When he’d see her in the crowd, he felt invincible.

Her team teased her about him constantly. They loved pointing out how her usually sharp demeanor softened whenever Pepe was around. His own team was no better, ribbing him about how he couldn’t stop smiling after seeing her. He didn’t care. Pepe loved her, and it showed.

Race weekends were a whirlwind, but Pepe cherished every second they could steal together. He had a ritual: after qualifying, he’d find her. If he’d done well, he’d swagger into her garage with a grin and a playful comment ready. If he hadn’t, he’d come quieter, waiting for her to notice him. She always did. Her words were simple but steadying. “You’ll get them tomorrow.”

During her races, Pepe would find a spot near the pit wall, away from the crowds but close enough to see everything. Watching her on track was electrifying. She raced with the kind of precision and courage that left him breathless. And when the race ended, he’d be there waiting. Whether it was a victory hug or a quiet moment to regroup, Pepe was her constant.

He loved the way she understood him without words. She never pushed him to talk when he wasn’t ready, and she never held back her pride when he was. “You were incredible,” she’d say after every race, and Pepe believed her.

When their schedules aligned, they’d sneak away for quiet dinners or track walks. Those moments were rare but perfect. They reminded him that even amidst the chaos of racing, she was his anchor.

Pepe loved everything about her: her determination, her grit, the way her eyes sparkled when she crossed the finish line. But what he cherished most were the moments no one else saw. The way she’d lean against his shoulder during late-night study sessions, the rare times she’d let him win in Mario Kart, the soft kisses she’d press to his cheek when no one was looking.

Pepe Marti was many things. A talented driver. A hard worker. A dreamer. But above all, he was hers. And while she might have the upper hand on track, Pepe knew he was leading in the race to be the best boyfriend. P1 was his.

[dylan-o-yumm]

Little Moments - Leon S. Kennedy/reader

It has been a hot minute... I’m sorry I’m not making an amazing come back with DMC or Nero content, but hey at least it's still Capcom? Anyway, Leon is babygirl 

Also read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46338547

Words: 6.6k Summary: Leon rescued both you and Ashley from the events of RE4, now the thereof you are "relaxing" in a hotel, unwinding before Leon has to take you both home in the morning.

Part 1, Part 2

“I could sleep for a year.”

“Just a year? Rookie numbers.”

“Are you guys kidding me? I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep a wink after everything I’ve seen over the last few days.” Ashley wrapped her arms around herself and looked wearily around the cozy hotel room, as if a crazy, plaga-infected Spanish person was going to jump out from the shadows. You couldn’t blame her for being so on edge, you’d be the same if Leon wasn’t there with you.

Ashley was the president's daughter and you were… just someone who was in that damn village at the wrong damn time. Leon was a special agent of some sort, somebody the president sent to find his daughter— but Leon just so happened to find you first. He saved you. And then he saved you again. And again, and again. No matter what happened, you knew Leon would be there like a knight in shining armor.

He made you feel safe but, the poor guy looked like shit and needed to finally rest. He had done so much work, busted his ass for— fuck, was it really only a day? Two days? You can’t remember how long you were there, let alone how long Leon was there looking for Ashley — and by proxy, you as well.

“Ash, it’s fine. We’re out of the village now. And even if some of the Iluminados freaks managed to escape, well… you saw how they were after their lord and savior kicked the bucket.” You turned to face Leon, gesturing for a little reassurance to come from him. Hopefully hearing it come from Leon would calm Ashley’s nerves somewhat.

Leon blinked and his lips parted as if he hadn’t been listening to a single word that had been said since he commented on how you wanted to sleep for a year. However he snapped back to hero mode rather quickly, looking around the room while he stretched his back muscles.

“I’ll stay up and make sure you’re safe. My job isn’t done yet.”

You and Ashley both shared a look.

“I think out of all of us, you need sleep the most, Leon.” Ashley told him with a concerned look on her face and you nodded in agreement. You opened your mouth to add your insight but Leon raised his hand to stop you, already knowing that you were going to demand that he sleep before you knock him out with a frying pan.

“I dozed off a few times at the village, I’ll be fine.” He shrugged as if it really didn’t bother him but you could see the exhaustion all over his face and in his shoulders, his muscles. Hell he had an aura around him that beamed like a bright neon sign that made you tired just by looking at him.

“It’s just one night. I’ll take you both home tomorrow and then I can go home and sleep for as long as I want, how’s that sound?”

“Leon…” Ashley sighed but you beat her to the punch.

“I’m too tired to argue. Just, at least sit down or something. I’ll make you some coffee,” you sighed and rubbed your forehead where a sharp headache started to irritate you. You dealt with too many loud noises; explosions, gunshots, too many bright lights from flash grenades and fires from molotovs, and the screaming and yelling of the Illuminados or Ashley or yourself. Everything from that damn village and the island, up until the point of getting out of the ocean after a long, loud and bumpy ride on a jet ski, was all building up into one big headache.

Leon didn’t have anything else to say after that, opting to do as you said and taking a seat on the couch by the window. You moved to the small kitchen and started boiling water while Ashley said she was going to go have a shower.

The three of you were still pretty filthy. The ocean water washed some of the grime off, but the stench still lingered and you all had scrapes, cuts and bruises. Your body ached from all the running around and getting thrown about and whacked and hit and kicked by the crazy villagers. Leon took the brunt of it all though, which is why you were worried about him the most. He really needed to rest. For a week. Or in your words; a year.

You all did.

Once the coffee was made, you brought a mug out for Leon, pausing for a moment to watch as he yawned so intensely his eyes started watering. Though, when he noticed you looking at him, he quickly shut his mouth and rubbed his eyes, pretending he hadn’t just been fighting off the urge to sleep. He gave you a little half smile and went back to unwrapping the bandage from his arm to check one of his many wounds.

You could have teased him for yawning, you could have angrily told him to get some sleep. But you didn’t.

“Need any stitching up?” You asked as you placed his mug on the coffee table in front of him, holding a second mug in your hand and moving it to your lap as you sat down on the couch beside him. The heat from the mug warmed your hands and made you feel more at ease.

”No. I could do with a good massage though,” he replied with a small grunt, rolling his shoulder out and you got a good look at his bicep. There was a scratch from an ax being thrown at him that, thankfully, only just nicked him. A long, but thankfully, not deep gash from his battle against Saddler. And finally a large bruise that spanned from his shoulder down to his elbow in an odd splotchy pattern. You weren’t sure what that one was from but you could take at least a dozen guesses.

You weren’t sure if he was asking you to give him a massage or not— he sure did like his cheesy one-liners and little quips, maybe this was one of them?

“Get in line, buddy. I don’t think I’ll physically be able to get out of bed in the morning,” yeah, that was a good common ground to avoid any confusion and possible embarrassment.

“It will be tough, yeah…” you could tell he was speaking from experience. How many crazy missions like this had this poor man been through? “You handled yourself well out there. I want you to know that.”

He turned his gaze to your direction but he didn’t quite meet your eye. He sounded genuine though and it made your heart skip a beat.

“You mean by… running, hiding, screaming. Oh yeah I handled myself very well,” you chuckled sarcastically and brought your cup of coffee to your lips, taking a sip.

“Hey, just because you didn’t kill anything, doesn’t mean you weren’t tough or brave,” now he finally met your eye. His own eyes, so incredibly blue that it was hard to remember them glossing over and turning a dull red from the plagas only a few hours ago.

Was that a few hours ago? It felt like it had been days since that happened.

You didn’t know how to respond, and thankfully Leon spoke up again before you could.

“Are you drinking coffee?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re not trying to stay awake, are you?”

“I don’t think even coffee could help me stay awake at this point.” Was it a lie? No. Was it a small truth that you admitted so that you didn’t have to reveal the big truth? Possibly. You were definitely too tired for coffee to keep you awake, but you were also trying to stay awake, at least a little longer, so that Leon wouldn’t have to suffer through the night alone. You couldn’t imagine what kind of thoughts he must have when it got quiet, when he wasn’t busying himself by running around castles or villages, or killing monsters.

You were tired. But so was Leon and this was the least you could do for him… You just couldn’t tell him that’s what you were doing, or he would probably knock your ass out.

You’re not a fighter. You’re not a cool secret agent with gadgets, nor were you a military trained soldier who could turn anything into a weapon. You couldn’t do the things Leon could do, you couldn’t protect him, you couldn’t save him from monsters…

Staying awake for a night just to keep him company so that he didn’t have to suffer alone? It wasn’t grand, it was nothing like the magnitude of favors and rescues he had done for you over the last however many days. But it was something. You couldn’t really do much else.

Maybe you should give him that damn massage.

“So why are you doing all of this, Leon?” You asked, wanting to change the subject so he wouldn’t figure out your little plan. He raised an eyebrow at you over his cup of coffee and you elaborated. “You came to the village because of the president's orders, right? To save Ashley… So what made you want to work for the president of all people? Or is that classified information?” You teased, knowing damn well it could definitely be very classified.

Leon chuckled.

“It’s a little classified, yeah. But I will tell you that… I met a girl a few years ago. And I want to make sure she’s safe,” he nodded softly to himself, as if reminding himself why he just went through all the horrors of the village. His already soft features softened even more as he thought about this girl.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“I think that’s illegal considering she’s a child,” he smirked slightly, as you looked down at your lap in embarrassment. “She escaped Raccoon City with me and another woman named Claire.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” You asked again, emphasis on the ‘she’ and a little teasing smile on your lips.

“Suddenly interested in my love life, huh?”

“Maybe I’m just trying to be a good wingman for Ashley. You know she’s crushing hard for you.”

“Oh this is for Ashley, huh?” His lips curl in amusement and you shrug, playing innocent. You both smile at one another as the world seems to stop spinning for a moment. Everything was quieter, the sound of rushing water from Ashley’s shower had even been drowned out, and now it was just you and Leon. You could breathe, you could take your time and just look at him, taking in the fine details of his face; the color of his irises, the sharpness of his jaw, the dip of his cupid's bow, the pinkness of his lips and the strongness of his chin.

Beautiful.

Inside and out, this man was… beautiful.

He was looking at you too, but it was different. His eyes dimmed, no longer shining along with his smile… it was like a part of him had left and gone somewhere else, no longer sitting right beside you. He looked through you, barely seeing you at all as he reminded himself of his job and why he was here. His smile faded and his eyes dropped, refusing to meet your gaze anymore.

You were admiring everything about him, and he was slowly drifting away from you. Like two ships passing in the night.

“Look… I can’t— I can’t have someone—“ he sighed and scooted closer to you on the couch, resting his gloved hand over the top of yours that was still holding your coffee mug. He was warm, even the leather of his glove was warm and it grounded you– it was a little prickly from where it had torn and frayed a little, from welding guns and knives all day long. His hand squeezed yours once, his pinky resting against the pulse point on your wrist. “I just can’t. Sorry...”

He was definitely not talking about Ashley anymore. You were only teasing and joking around about his relationship status, and you knew that he was far too good for you. Thanks to your low self esteem, and your confidence in Leon never being capable of looking at you the way you looked at him… that ship sailed hours and hours ago, practically when you very first laid eyes on him… But his words still felt like a knife to your heart for some reason.

You blinked once, shaking yourself out of the trance you had put yourself in, and your lips parted. You weren’t sure if you wanted to say something, or if you were going to say something, or if you should have said anything at all. But thankfully—

“Leon! Your turn! You stink. Who knew saving some damsels in distress was such tough work, huh?” Ashley teased as she burst out of the bathroom looking completely refreshed and clean. Her hair was twisted up into her towel while she wore the same clothes she wore in the village. Maybe you could go in search for some robes the three of you could wear or something— at least just for the night. You could go buy some clothes in the morning before the three of you headed back to your respective homes.

You and Leon jumped apart and refused to look at one another, as if you had been caught doing something naughty by your parents. If a hand on yours was considered naughty then you never wanted to be pure. Leon took a final sip of his coffee before placing the mug back down on the coffee table, and when he stood, he looked at Ashley, vaguely gesturing towards her. “Will you two be okay while I’m gone? I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“Leon please. The only thing we’re in danger from right now is your body odor,” she teased even more, skipping over to grab Leon’s arm and ushering him towards the bathroom. “Im stronger than I look, don’t make me wrestle you into the shower, Leon.”

You blushed at the thought of Ashley and Leon anywhere near a shower together.

“Alright,” he chuckled but paused in the doorway of the bathroom, finally looking towards you again, but you were silent and didn’t quite know how to feel or react. “Yell if you need me, okay?” It was directed towards the both of you but his eyes were burning a hole into your face.

You simply nodded. And Leon disappeared behind the bathroom door.

———————————————————

“Need me to tuck you in or something?” Leon asked teasingly as he walked over to you. Ashley was fast asleep in one of the single beds, having passed out when you went for your shower after Leon. The three of you were clean, dressed in robes (well Leon wasn't), all comfy— but very tired. No amount of coffee could help.

You were sitting on the armchair by the second single bed, (there were only two but Leon said he was fine sleeping on the couch— this was obviously before he stupidly agreed to just not sleep at all for the night) a book in your lap, one that the hotel just had laying in the small bookshelf. It was terrible and not your idea of a good time at all, but there wasn’t much else to do. You could watch tv but you didn’t want the noise to keep Ashley up.

“Tell you a bedtime story?” He offered once you didn’t say anything to his first teasing question. “I don’t know how good of a story teller I am…”

“I'm fine, Leon. Thanks though,” you smiled up at him. You weren’t mad and you weren’t holding a grudge, you were just confused and felt a little awkward from your previous conversation with him. And with you acting awkward it only made things even more awkward— it… had been a rough few days.

“Okay…” he watched you skeptically for a moment. “Are you worried about falling asleep? I had the same problem after Raccoon City.”

“No-“

“Because I don’t mind staying up, and I can sit closer to your bed if it makes you feel any better?”

“Leon-“

“Ashley’s already knocked out so she won’t mind if I’m keeping an extra close eye on you until you fall asleep.”

“I'm fine. I swear. I just don’t feel like sleeping right now is all…” You looked up at him and smiled, closing your book to lightly wack his stomach with it. He took a step back and placed his hand over the spot you just walked, looking down with a faint smile.

“Right…” he nodded, sighing as he fell back onto your bed, spreading his legs like all men do, and resting his elbows on his knees. His upper body was leaning towards you where you sat on the armchair in between the window and the bed and, feeling a heat make its way onto your cheeks, you quickly went back to reading your book.

“What are you reading?” His voice was lower and softer than it was just a second ago, it sent shivers down your spine.

“I couldn’t tell you. I haven’t taken in a single word since I picked it up,” you looked back over at him and smiled with a small shrug as if to say ‘what can you do?’

“Riveting stuff. I guess it’s better than fighting monsters though.”

“I wouldn’t know, you fought all the monsters for me,” you sassed, as if you were disappointed that you didn’t get to fight anything, when in reality, you know you would have died if you had to go up against one of those crazy villagers. And Leon was taking on half of Spain it felt like, plus those that grew into large monsters with tentacles and big yellow eyes and slime and spikes and goop.

“Well hey, you threw a flash grenade at that Mendez guy for me.”

“I forgot to pull the pin…”

“Yeah, but he looked pretty pissed off when it hit his shin. It was a good throw,”

“I was aiming for his head…” You bit your lip.

Leon sighed and looked down, not knowing how to find the bright side of that little tidbit. A beat passed before you started to chuckle, and so did he. “I know one thing you did that saved my ass.”

“What’s that?” Your tone was humorous, thinking he was going to tease you again. It wasn’t like you did much, especially compared to Leon. Just the fact that he said ‘I know ONE thing you did that saved my ass’ is proof that you obviously didn’t do enough. However, maybe that’s for the best as you definitely would have gotten into even more trouble if you started being reckless.

“Luis’ lab…” he looked down at his hands as he spoke.”I was losing it, I could hardly see, I couldn’t move my body properly. I think I even started hallucinating.” His eyebrows jumped a little as he recalled those moments in his head. It wasn’t very pleasant for you either, but Leon had a lot more of those moments than you did. “I don’t think Ashley and I would have made it if you weren’t there,”

“I think I was just yelling at you the whole time. I was scared.” It was true. You were scared of losing both him and Ashley, and having to find a way off the island on your own. You recalled yelling at Leon while he stumbled through the hallways with an unconscious Ashley in his arms. ‘Hurry the fuck up, Leon!’ and ‘don’t fall down! Get back up! Now!’

“Your yelling got me to keep moving, gave me something to focus on.”

“Well... You’re welcome,” you whispered, looking down at your lap bashfully. Your teeth worried your bottom lip, making it feel a bit tingly and numb. Once you gained the courage to look back up and meet Leon’s gaze — his eyes already on you, watching you intently — you exhaled slowly through your nose and faintly shook your head.

“You’re so annoying,” you whispered.

“Yeah,” he whispered back.

He didn’t look amused, more like... he was agreeing with your statement. He didn’t even look like a kicked puppy, he had just accepted that it was his time to be knocked back down a couple pegs.

His eyes focused on yours while yours focused on his lips. God he was so annoying. And it was even more annoying knowing that he wasn’t doing any of this on purpose. He was just... like that. It was impossible not to like him, not to dream up some fantasy of you and him being closer, more intimate. Impossible not to imagine how soft his lips might be and how his hair might feel between your fingers, and how his rough hands might caress you so gently.

A heart breaker. That’s what he was.

Even Ashley was in the same trap as you — could you even call it a trap when Leon wasn’t aware he had set it, and you and Ashley had both practically willingly jumped into it? You heard her little hints, her little compliments. Calling him dashing and trying to get him to work with her once his mission was over. And you couldn't even blame her! You wanted more time with him as well.

“I wish I never met you,” you whispered, more softly than you had previously been speaking.

“Where would you be without me?” He whispered back just as gently.

His pearly whites faintly peaked out from behind his lips, barely visible but just enough to know that he was fighting off a smile. The corners of your lips twitched upward slightly as you fought off your own smile.

You leaned in.

He didn’t move away.

You leaned in more.

The hint of a smile had left his face and his eyes dropped down to your lips. His own lips parted and his brows twitching- itching to pull together, as he fought with himself. You could see it all — how he wanted to run, how he wanted to pull away, how he was worried and maybe even a little scared. But that wasn’t all, you could also see how he wanted to lean in and give you exactly what you wanted, because he wanted it too.

Conflicting.

You moved in gently and cautiously, your eyelids slowly closing. You weren’t sure if he moved in towards you, or if you managed to get closer to him in your eagerness, but you could feel his breath against your skin a second after your eyes closed. Your noses were the first to touch.

You breathed in, and Leon let out a shaky breath that you couldn’t only feel, but hear as well since you were so close to him. You angled your head to the side slightly, feeling your way out with the tip of your nose as it slowly and gently slid down the side of his nose bridge and poked the inner corner of his cheek.

Your lips ghosted his, feeling him ever so slightly. The softness, the warmth. You shuddered.

Your lips parted, so did his. Your lips pressed softly against his top lip while his pressed against your bottom lip, delighting yourself in how soft his lips were and how inviting they felt. You could only hope you had the same effect on him. He wasn’t pulling away, he leaned in closer, much to your surprise and his hand slowly reached out to lay flat against your knee.

You applied just the tiniest amount of pressure with your lips before pulling back, needing air. Your cheeks were warm, your eyes glossy, and your lips just a little wet from where Leon’s lips had pressed.

You licked your lips, wanting to taste more of him. He did the same. The both of you staring into each other's souls, eyes flickering to each other's lips, then eyes, then back to lips. Not a word was uttered between you two before he leaned forward this time and pressed his lips against yours.

Your heart skipped a beat.

His kiss was just as, if not more, gentle than yours, thinking he would be a little rough or just— anything but so gentle. As if you were more fragile than glass, more fragile than the finest porcelain. Like you were thin paper sat out in the rain, and one little breeze would tear you to pieces.

He kissed you. He wanted this. What was he talking about earlier with his ‘I can’t’? He was doing it right now and you never ever wanted him to stop.

Keeping your lips connected to his, you slowly rose from your seat, hands coming to slide over Leon’s shoulders. He leaned backwards — only his lower body, while his lips refused to leave yours, as he gave you space to sit down with him on the bed. His large, warm hands slid around your waist, pulling you closer and keeping you close.

Your lips parted for a short breath only to close around his bottom lip a second after. But when his lips parted, he didn’t bother gaining more air, he simply worked your mouth open and found your tongue with his own. The sound of wet lip smacking soon filled the room, along with faint panting and pauses for quick breaths — gulping down air when you had the chance.

His hands squeezed your hips and yours fisted the collar of his tight shirt, pulling and not letting him go. A way to ground yourself. Just an hour ago you were so content with the idea of him being too good for you. Knowing that he would never see you the way you saw him. But now here he was, kissing your lips so softly but so desperately.

Your heart was beating so fast inside your chest, trying to explode out of you.

“Leon...” you panted breathily against his mouth, having nothing else to say besides his name. A name you never thought you’d have the opportunity to whimper out like that. You whimpered it once before when you rolled your ankle after running away from a crazy wolf-dog thing, and needed to use Leon as a crutch for a moment, but this was different.

You weren’t sure if you leaned forward or if Leon pulled you closer but he slowly fell back down on the bed, and you followed pursuit. The pillow sunk beneath his head and his hands slid from your hips to your lower back, sending goosebumps all over your skin. You’ll never understand how someone can kick open doors and barrels and people’s heads, and also be so tender and gentle behind closed doors.

He was firm, sturdy as you laid on top of him. You could feel his heart beating against your chest and he could probably feel yours as well. His heart was beating fast, but strong and mighty, and even when he was distracted like this — not alert and ready to defend, you still felt so incredibly safe.

Your tongue pushed its way into his mouth, exploring and massaging where you could. You were thankful that you brushed your teeth when you had a shower earlier, and considering the fact that Leon tasted minty and refreshing, you could only assume he did as well.

His tongue slid against yours, flicking against the roof of your mouth before he pulled back to refill his lungs. You didn’t even have time to share a look before he was back to kissing you.

One hand slid into his sandy blond hair, pulling a sweet and quiet moan from deep within his chest. Your fingers slid against his scalp and teased the roots of his hair, while your other hand laid flat over his pectoral, feeling his muscle and firmness and his strength.

Your movements were slow and steady, like liquid pouring over his skin, there was no rush, there was no danger. It was just you and Leon, sharing kisses and slowly morphing into one being. If love wasn’t this then you didn’t want it.

“Leon... hmmf,” saying his name for no apparent reason other than to just say it. Your robe slipped as you raised your leg and bent your knee, hugging him with your thighs. Leon’s gloved hand slid down to feel the soft, exposed skin of your thigh and you gasped into his mouth. The feeling of his soft fingertips with the scratchy leather sent a heat all throughout your body.

He, of course, didn’t take a robe from you earlier, opting to stay in his filthy clothes since they were more practical for if he needed to defend you and Ashley again. You didn’t think he would have to defend the two of you at all, now that you were off the island and away from the village… but neither you nor Ashley were back home just yet, so he couldn’t afford to take any risks. He was sure determined and that alone made your insides all warm and fuzzy.

His hand gripped your thigh, but his lips stopped moving. You took the opportunity to worship him; to press kisses to the corner of his lips, then two on his cheek — one right beside his ear and the other closer to his jaw as you moved down to his neck.

His skin was so soft, save for the few cuts and scrapes. He lifted his head, giving you more room and you eagerly obliged, leaving soft pecks and wet, open mouthed kisses, little licks and faint nibbles. He hummed in pleasure and it made your whole chest flood with pride.

Pressing a kiss against his adam's apple, you went to move to the other side of his neck, wanting to give his right side equal treatment, but he turned his head. You weren’t sure if he was trying to stop you or not, so you pulled back just to make sure he was okay.

He looked perfectly fine. His cheeks were a soft shade of red that you would now commit to memory for the rest of your life– probably your new favorite color.. His eyes were half lidded and a little glossy, making the different shades of blue in his irises shine brightly even in the darkly lit room. It was impossible to have a fear of drowning when you looked into them.

Though he wasn’t looking at you.

His head was turned to the side, looking over at Ashley who was still sleeping like a rock. Her lips were parted and she breathed heavily, close to snoring but not quite.

It was only when you shifted your body a little, wanting to back off a bit in case he was uncomfortable, that you felt your effect on him. Your thigh felt his excitement, he pursed his lips together and closed his eyes for a moment to focus on his breathing.

Was this really happening?

“She won’t wake up,” you whispered to him and his eyes opened, looking cautiously into your eyes, then back to Ashley, then back to you one final time. You wanted him, and he wanted you, and you had both survived the horrors you encountered over the last few days. You both deserved a break. You both deserved this.

His brow furrowed knitting together tightly. Though the slight upward angle in his brows made him look like a wounded puppy.

“My job isn’t done yet,” he swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing. “I need to stay focused.”

You deflated.

“Right.” You nodded once and crawled off of him. Maybe it was for the best, you didn’t want to go too far with him after knowing him for only 48 hours. Though going through copious amounts of trauma together did make for a great bonding experience and therefore it felt like you had known him for months.

You sat on your ankles, hands on your knees. Your robe was open just enough to show your legs but the rest of you was covered. One hand left your knee to wipe your swollen and wet lips, basically wiping away Leon’s kiss, before you tucked your hair behind your ear.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away from your lap, feeling embarrassed and maybe even a little ashamed. Were you wrong to think Leon was into it? Into you? It definitely felt like he was, but maybe he snapped out of it once he realized you weren’t that lady in the red dress and the high heels.

As if he could sense your downward spiral, Leon’s hand found yours, the one still resting on your knee, and squeezed it reassuringly. “But I can… stay here?”

You finally looked up and met his ocean blue eyes. He had sat up somewhat, his back resting against the headboard of the bed. He looked just as unsure and nervous as you did. He obviously didn’t have much experience with this sort of stuff, which only made him even more endearing. The poor guy just fought monsters for a living and never had time to slow down and relax.

“While you fall asleep,” he added gently. He wanted to stay with you? In bed? Did that mean he wasn’t just using work as an excuse to not go further with you? He really did just want to stay alert and not have any distractions while the president's daughter was in his care.

“If you want?” He pressed one more time. He was giving you big, puppy dog eyes— knowing him, it was unintentional too. Even if you didn’t want him to stay with you, there was no way you could refuse him when he gave you that face. But you did want him to stay of course.

You didn’t need to say so.

You curled up beside him, sliding your body under the covers. Leon didn’t smell great, but he was at least clean enough— his clothes weren’t covered in blood and dirt but the smell lingered a bit. You weren’t sure if his sweat or the seawater from the jetski ride over was what rid his tight shirt of all the muck. Or maybe he washed them in the shower and dried them quickly afterwards. That would be nice.

Your hand splayed over his chest, feeling his heartbeat. Your nose pressed against his ribs, finding an odd sense of comfort in the smell that lingered. It was Leon after all, it was proof he was there with you, reminding you you were safe even when you had your eyes closed.

His arm was around your neck, letting you use his bicep as a pillow. His heart was beating rather fast as you snuggled into his side but after a few minutes it slowed back down and fell in tune with the steady rise and fall of his chest. Leon turned his head and pressed his lips against your forehead, letting them linger for a moment. And his arm, the one you weren’t laying on, moved over towards you, his hand stroking through your hair.

Cocooned in Mr. Leon S. Kennedy’s arms.

“Get some sleep. I’ll look after you.”

And there go your plans to stay awake with him.

—————————————————————

After waking up in Leon’s arms, you got up and did your morning ritual with Ashley. Breakfast, brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, getting dressed, etc. Leon stood by the door rushing you both as it got close to 9am. A tired but teasing “come on, ladies” came from him as he ushered you both out the door.

Ashley was the first to go home. Being the president's daughter and all. You said your goodbyes to her in the car, opting to not go into the big building with all the security guards. Leon escorted her back to her father — after you and Ashley exchanged emails of course, and by the time she had been delivered home safely, it was already dinner time. The flight from Spain to America chewed up a few hours.

You and Leon didn’t really have a chance to talk when Ashley was around. Though you thought that once it was just the two of you, he might mention something from last night or maybe even be a little more touchy feely. A hand on your thigh while he drove or maybe he would reach for your hand. Maybe press a kiss to the back of your palm once in a while or lean over to kiss your cheek at every stop sign and red light.

He didn’t do any of that.

He barely spoke. You barely spoke. Maybe it was because these were your final moments with him, that you didn’t know what to say or how to act or what to do. How do you say goodbye to someone who saved your life time and time again? How do you just watch him leave without somehow repaying him? Why did he have to leave at all? Why did you have to go back home?

You just did. He just did. It just had to be like this.

Finally once you arrived at your home, Leon got out of the car first, coming around to let you out of the passenger side like a gentleman. You smiled and stepped out, awkwardly hugging yourself as you walked with him to the front door.

This was it wasn’t it? The final goodbye.

You bent down to flip over the corner of the welcome mat, picking up your spare house key and unlocking the door. You hadn’t been home in weeks. Everything was dark and dusty and that homey scent had faded away until you barely recognised where you were.

The door was open but you were yet to step inside. You turned to face Leon first, your hand gripping the door handle tightly until your knuckles turned white.

“…Do you... wanna come in?” You asked hopefully, just wanting to spend more time with him, wanting to feel safe for just a few minutes longer. You wouldn’t be able to feel safe once he walked away. And that foolish little part inside you hoped you could pick up where you left off last night.

But Leon pulled a face. Not out of disgust or hatred or anything bad, he was just… his face was saying ‘no.’ The awkward smile that wasn’t really a smile, more like a ‘man, I’m about to hurt your feelings even though I don’t want to,’ smile.

“I guess not, huh?” You looked down and nodded distantly, realising that this really was goodbye then. Part of you wanted to be angry, for everything that had happened last night, for the feelings you had developed. However, Leon’s ocean blue eyes and his silly floppy hair with those pink, kissable lips... how could you be mad at that?

“It’s been a long couple of days. I should get home.”

“No, yeah. Of course,” you awkwardly shuffled on your feet, avoiding eye contact.

“I’ll probably have another mission lined up for me when I get back to work.” Leon’s voice was quiet and his shoulders were tense. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling but he definitely didn’t look comfortable.

“Yeah.” You nodded slowly, keeping your gaze on your shoes that inched closer towards the inside of your home, wanting to run away and hide.

One beat passed. A sigh left both of you at the same time.

“I’ll see you ‘round, (Y/N)...” you blinked. He was leaving already? Just like that? You finally looked up to meet his eyes, wanting a look at those pools of blue one more time... but he had already turned around and started walking away. He was clearly eager to get away from you, eager to get home and back into his work.

You wouldn't cry over someone you couldn't have...

“Goodbye, Leon.”

You stepped inside your home and closed the door behind yourself.

[astraanti]

The last cry of faith

One shot- Optimus Prime Part. 2

The reader is human

Human x Cybertronian

Enjoy! I'm sorry if any translation is wrong. My first language is not english.This fic was originally written in spanish. Please understand (⁠o⁠´⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠)⁠っ

Part 1 is now available:

I was afraid, afraid that I would make a mistake and not find the right words to save my own species, so I took one more deep breath and wiped away my tears before we boarded Bumblebee.

"I only have one chance, don't I?" My heart was beating hard and fast. I didn't know what I was going to face.

It was a huge burden trying to start a conversation with a normal person for me, now here I am trying to take on a responsibility as big as talking to the leader of the Autobots to try to mediate and save both species.

"Let's do this, Bee." I bravely took the wheel and let him drive.

__________________________

What if I make a mistake in my words? What will I say? What abandoned me and made me feel terrible in her absence? That I got depressed believing that he wouldn't remember me anymore?

I thought about my arguments over and over again, rephrasing my words so as not to fall into impulsiveness or anger.

Quintessa would take full control over Cybetron if Unicron perished, they explained to me that if Optimus did not give the direct order, it would be too late to avoid changing the fate of both planets. Lennox tried to mediate with Optimus before but he refused to do so.

When he heard my name he avoided doing any action that he denied to know that he needed me there, that's why they came to look for me.

I was breathing hard because my anxiety was bigger than my own height, Brains moved to the copilot's seat to try to calm me down and Bumblebee played relaxing music to dissipate my nerves as we arrived at the base. The trip didn't last long.

I could see the figure of Lennox and his team around the base and they spread out when Bee parked.

This was the moment where I asked for a little faith and luck for myself.

If there's someone looking out for me on the other side, it's time for you to do your job and back me up a little this time.

I looked at the two little autobots before they got out and I unbuckled my seatbelt and my hands were shaking. Lennox noticed my presence and opened the door for me from the outside.

I looked at him with teary eyes and hugged him. My soul needed human warmth and Lennox was able to give it to me; Even when he followed orders our affection was mutual.

"I thank you for coming." He caressed my back with his hands. —But there is someone who needs to talk to you in there.

—I know.

Our hug ended and he accompanied me to the entrance of the base, I could feel his men's gaze on us as if we were the only solution to this and I entered alone.

This was the moment I had been waiting for all this time and my nerves were on edge. Still I was determined to do it and I walked.

As the soles of my shoes hit the ground with my steps, I heard metallic movements on the other side of the base. Optimus knew he was here.

I didn't have time to fix my image, I was a mess and so was my face after crying so much, I only faced my fate when I saw the silhouette of Optimus between the shadows and the subtlety of the moonlight that was reflected in the windows. and in its metal armor.

He turned to see me.

I tried to smile when his optics met my tired eyes.

He could see the sadness in Optimus's features.

—Is this how all this will end? Is this the end of us, Optimus?

Optimus looked away, I think I was too hasty starting that way. I just wanted to follow my soul and say what I wanted because I wanted to hear what he had to say too.

—You had no reason to come, and you decided to do so. "I didn't ask you to do it," Optimus said.

—I came because I thought you needed us to talk about us, about ours. I didn't come to talk about the decisions you make, you are free to do what you want, but this is necessary for both of us.

—It was I who abandoned you, I could have made things turn out differently and they didn't. I will never forgive myself for it.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell at him, I wanted to vent about everything he put me through, but I knew I had to refrain from falling into despair.

—I thought I was protecting you by leaving Earth. My absence only brought you more problems, however the choices that your leaders have made by continuing to go against me...—He leaned forward to try to be at my level—are the ones that caused our alliance to immediately end.

—And what about us? —I'm sure when I saw his optics they were much brighter since the last time I saw him. —Wasn't I good enough for you?

Optimus wasn't used to talking about his feelings. Not in front of others and much less when the end of the world is approaching, but we both knew that this was our only opportunity to confess everything we had pending.

—You were more than I would have wanted. You waited for me and I failed you.” Optimus lowered his head. “I thought you would be better off without my presence.”

—Will you only say that? Are you going to lower your head regretting something you didn't even have the audacity to face? —I sought to provoke him to face the feelings he tried so hard to deny. — I was waiting for you for a long time, suffering from seeing you fight, I suffered your death when Fallen appeared and your sudden disappearance when Cemetery Wind and Lockdown were hunting us.

—I tried to get away from you so that you could have a simple human life outside of the risks that came with being by my side. —He tried to explain himself. —I promised that I would protect you at the expense of my spark.

"And I promised you that I would stay by your side no matter what happened!" I shouted furiously.

—I was afraid of losing you! —She screamed with the same intensity. — I tried to get you to safety when Lockdown shot in your direction that time and I failed in my task, I couldn't stand it because I had thought the worst. — Her voice sounded broken. — I couldn't.

—Were you afraid of losing me? Well, you're going to lose me for the second time if Quintessa manages to fry us after you make the worst decision you've ever made in your long life, Optimus!

The tension in the air worsened when Optimus stood up and turned his back to me.

—If you came with the sole reason of persuading me to change my mind, you are failing in your objective.

—I didn't come to change your opinion, I came to talk to you because you didn't care about me.

She looked at me quickly as if she had offended him and I backed away when she started heading towards me, but I knew she wouldn't hurt me.

—I care more about you than you think, what should I do so you can understand it!?

— Love me with all your strength! Without shame, without denials or objections! Without abandoning me!—I felt my cold tears running down my cheeks when I said that. Inside me I was imploring him to stop being corny but my soul had to say it without stammering.

He was stunned by my request. I think it was too much, but I decided to continue.

—You are the great Optimus Prime! The leader of the free galaxy! Not even so free because he doesn't even have the freedom to be loved!

I felt his gaze on my little existence, a breath of air came out of his mouth and he shook his head.

—I would give anything to love you the way you ask me, but I'm not a human. I am-

—You are Optimus Prime! "The only one I've had the chance to call my own hero in this life because he saved my life!" I interrupted him.

—I am your guardian and I always will be, and no one else will be.

—Then if you want to protect me so much, then do it. Protect me, save me. Save us but don't do it for them...—I was referring to the humans who had hurt us in the past.—Do it for all of us who decided to fight and be by your side. — I paused. —Do it for me, because my faith in you is still intact.

A silence reigned for a few moments.

—We all have something in common in this universe, which unites us. —He continued- But what keeps me alive in this life is you.

Optimus leaned up again and took my chin with his finger as he brought his face closer to mine.

—Do you still have faith in me?

—I never lost her, Optimus! —Something in me made me rush to his face to hug him. My tears fell on the panels of his face. "Never even if my heart stopped beating..." I said sobbing.

He covered me with his hand and pressed my body against his face, as if it were a shield.

It was the first time in a long time that I could feel his embracing and protective warmth.

—I will not let you down or abandon you this time. —He whispered —I promise you...

I felt like the minutes were eternal with his hug.

These had been the best minutes I had spent with him in my entire life, I just prayed that fate would give me the opportunity to have more moments like this.

Only then could I be in front of the Optimus I fell in love with, without fear that he or I would feel judged or regret our union.

"With all my spark," he finished.

_________________________________

I left through the door of that base.

When Lennox saw me I nodded, it was done. Optimus had given the order from his communicator to the autobots to begin the attack plan and save Earth again.

The hatch to the base opened and Optimus emerged in his alt mode waiting for me at the open driver's door.

I closed the door.

—Thank you.— I smiled and he advanced.

Lennox also gave the direct order to follow Optimus' plan and boarded Bumblebee.

After all... There was a small glimpse of light in the darkness and a last cry of faith that changed the destiny of humanity.

[snoozelover]

I'm rambling but I miss Leo and seeing my cubito so sad is sickening so here I come:

Whenever I hear others Islanders talking about Leo and q!Foolish relationship I can FEEL how little they know about them...

I know a lot of the things were said in a light way, as a joke sometimes, but hearing again and again how "We'll take Leo away from q!foolish" in the past or even "q!Foolish don't care about the eggs" more recently just fucking hurt when you actually follow their journey together.

The only person that REALLY saw them in their most intimate moment with only the two of them besides q!Vegetta is q!Jaiden, she got to see them play and bicker and just how they truly are on the same wave length.

q!Foolish and Leo, even before q!Vegetta went away, spent A LOT of time together. q!Foolish was almost always the one doing tasks for Leo, because he knew they wouldn't be updated for q!Vegetta when he was on, but also because spending time with his kid was never a burden no matter how some Islanders like to make it seems like he had ever complained.

Whenever Leo comes to him, they always plan together if they do the tasks that day or another, q!Foolish never shy from asking what Leo wants to do, and a lot of time Leo simply said they could do it another day, or they would do it together as they spend time doing other things.

Leo used to only be up when their dads were here and only in the last resort had to be up without them in the last couple weeks before going missing because q!vegetta wet away and q!foolish couldn't be on and even then, it was because their dad, q!Foolish said to do so.

A lot of people tend to call q!Foolish a bad and irresponsible parent because of his more loose mentality when it comes to how to educate Leo.

q!Foolish said multiple times that 'caging' your children to protect them from danger wasn't his type. He's more of a 'lets the kid make mistakes and learn from them' type of dad :

When Leo wants to do something, he always warns them of the danger, a lot of time he uses "if something happens to you it's your fault" it may seem like a cold and detached way of dealing with it but it's a way for him to warn but also reminds Leo that they're also responsible for their own actions. Spending time together made him realize that this method worked the best, and Leo understood that it's not him not caring.

When Leo said they didn't like wearing armor because "it's ugly pa", he let them not wear it, once again reminding them of the danger but also that he would force them to wear it if real danger was here.

Later on, when Leo started worrying about their dad security too, they crafted one for him, gifted it to him and later on said "pa where is your amor" and q!Foolish said "I'll wear it if you wear yours" and it's became a thing between the two of them, sometimes, during adventures, Leo would stop in their track, put down a sign and write "where's your armor?" and take their off until q!Foolish wore his too.

Leo always said that they missed their dads when someone else was taking care of them, but they always seem to overlook it. Leo said multiple times they felt different and far away from their siblings and they found comfort in their parents. Leo only has their parents and q!Roier more recently.

The whole "q!foolish doesn't like spending time with his kid" argument came to be because cc!foolish was busy, but a lot of q!character took it as him not wanting to spend time with Leo.

Mind you, they say this about q!Foolish, who for me is one of the biggest girl's dad to ever exist in the island :

q!Foolish that would spend every hours Leo is awake with them.

q!Foolish told Leo not to worry and keep writing in Spanish if they were more comfortable with it and that he was learning Spanish anyway.

q!Foolish that keeps every gift and pictures Leo gave him in a special backpack.

q!Foolish that would always stay close to Leo and sometimes get farther away from large group of people because Leo told him they felt overwhelmed in the crowd.

q!Foolish that rambled his feeling out when Leo felt like a bad egg because of these stupid allegations.

q!Foolish that always use soft parenting method on Leo and never overlooked their emotions if he knew it wasn't another tantrum.

q!Foolish that played into Leo's game, became badman and spider man for them.

q!Foolish that kept Leo's animals and even brought back to life some of them not to make them sad even if he had beef with some of them.

q!Foolish that to this day still keep the "always juntos" amethyst crystal in the heart of the dragon tower.

q!Foolish that still says he can't wait to tell all his adventures to Leo when they come back.

q!Foolish that is slowly cracking as the days pass and is slowly losing hope.

q! Foolish that probably cries when he's alone in his cold lonely and lifeless tower.

Looking back at all these things, I've noticed that despite being really open about everything else, q!Foolish is really private when it comes to his family, because it's when it comes to them that his feelings are the most 'human'. His family is his 'weakness' and as we know q!Foolish avoid talking about feelings at all costs.

We as viewers, saw multiple times q!Foolish almost breaking because he was overwhelmed with some feelings :

When q!Forever hit Leo, it was rage.

When q!Bad said "my Leo", it was jealousy.

When he was looking at pictures in Leo's bunker, it was sadness.

There are a lot more of these moments but every time one of these moments happens, he always puts on a mask of happiness and people forget it even happens, but q!Foolish don't. And we don't. Because q!Foolish deserve as much as the others, he deserves to be seen as the real him and not these tags people like to put on him and Leo.

[vintageneptune92]

Burn The Shadow- 2

Here is Chapter 2- This is a long one. I really wanted to establish Gia's past. Let me know if you're enjoying it!

Rafael watched Gia from afar for a moment. She hadn't seen him yet; he hoped his presence would be welcomed. He didn't think she should be alone for this. Though he wasn't quite sure why she was going to an execution. He thought perhaps she was coming to see a case to its end.

His peace offering had smoothed the choppy waters. They were friends now, but they hadn't reached the sharing of deep dark secrets. He didn't take it personally; even if he did, he hadn't exactly been an open book either. It had hit him a few weeks after they had buried the hatchet- it was the first time in a long time he had met someone that he wouldn't mind flipping through his pages.

After the Micha Green case, she had admitted that she didn't date in High School because she was so young. Her peers didn't understand her. Her first boyfriend had been in college and it was disastrous. It was the first real bit of information about her past she had offered up. He thought he was really getting somewhere, but Lewis taking Olivia had shaken her and she was back ro surface level information when he was dying for more.

They had gotten into the habit of meeting at Forlini's to talk about cases. He loved the way her mind worked. She helped him look at things differently. Her laughter when she said "I never thought I would utter the words 'use the gonorrhea', but here we are. Though I really thought you would be able to use it." She had also vehemently defended him when Amaro had given him a hard time over Alex Muños. Gia didn't like how he went after Barba, she felt strongly that he didn't deserve it.  After the trial, she had stopped into his office with Coffee. She had set it in front of him with a smile.

"It's decaf, I figured you didn't need any more caffeine. Also, it's Irish." She pointed at the cup of coffee and  as she turned to leave, he had asked her to stay. She nodded and sat down at his desk with her own cup of coffee. He was sure it was also a little Irish.

"Thank you for defending me."

"Rafaél-" It was the first time she had uttered his first name. She said it with the Spanish pronunciation and it stirred something in him that he quickly quelled. "I knew you would do the right thing. You just needed a little more time to see it. He was one of your closest friends. It's hard sometimes to see people for what they are when they are right in front of you."

Amaro had called him. Gia had been giving him the cold shoulder since that case. His aggressiveness really bothered her. Amaro was upset she was pushing him away. He was the only one Gia told about her unlikely friendship with the A.D.A. Amaro had seen the execution notice on Gia's desk. When Amaro had asked about it, she shut him down. He didn't know who she knew that was being executed, but, he knew she would need support. He had wanted to take her and she refused. So he called Barba and asked him to go.

Her stony expression crumpled into confusion when she saw him. "How did...why...how are you here?"

"Amaro called. He didn't think you should be alone."

"I-I can't" as she stuttered, some of the chips of her armor were falling away.

"Gianna." His use of her full name got her attention. "You don't have to tell me anything. I'm just here for you." She nodded. He could almost see her insides twisting. He thought she was going to turn around and leave. She had taken a few more steps toward him and then turned and looked back from where she came until he reached out and took her hand. "I mean it. I won't ask a single question. I'm just here for you."

"Okay." She whispered and he led her into the building. They walked silently once they were allowed in. He felt his hand pull when she stopped right outside of the door. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She gave him a slight nod.

"I have to." She had steeled herself. The armor was back in place. They walked into the room and she headed to the front row. Sitting there waiting was giving Barba anxiety. He didn't know how she knew this person. He hadn't had the opportunity to look up who he was. Amaro had called him with just enough time for him to get in his car and drive. He had arrived just moments before her. His head whipped to look in her direction when the name was read, "Gabriel Pierce", but she gave him nothing. Her face was stone. As he was brought in, Barba knew there were only two options, cousin or brother. He was too young to be anything else. His final statement was only 3 words. "I'm sorry, Gigi." There was a slight twitch at the corner of her mouth, but so slight the only reason why Barba saw it was because he was sitting so close to her. It was the slowest and fastest thing he had ever witnessed. When it was done, she rose to her feet and placed her palm on the glass. The rest of the witnesses quickly left.

"Take as long as you need, Detective Pierce." They knew her here. She must have come to visit, at least,  often enough. When she heard the door click, he rose quickly when he noticed her hands trembling. "I'm sorry too, Gabe. You deserved so much better." His name was uttered with a sob. If Barba hadn't stood when he did, he never would have caught her when her knees gave out. He held her tightly to his body while holding the back of her head. As her sobs shook the both of them, they cut sharply through his insides.

————————————————————

Gia had used a car service to get there. Barba was happy she wasn't going to be driving home. They sat in his car in silence. Barba didn't know what to say. When her sobs had finally stopped, he put his arm around her and led her out of the building.

He glanced over at her a few times and she was fixed on looking out the window. He wanted to find words to make her feel better. The urge to ask questions was eating at him, but he had promised he wouldn't. He wouldn't break that promise. He had never been so agonized by silence. He turned down her street and parked in an empty spot.

"Why did you park?"

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"I'll be fine."

"I know, but I'm staying for a while."

They walked together in silence into the apartment building. The doorman had treated Gia warmly, Rafael could see the concern flash on his face when he saw her demeanor. It made Rafael feel a little relieved that she was in a secure building with people that knew her well enough to register concern if she didn't seem okay. There was a risk in both of their professions. It was a nice building, he was impressed. She lived right near Central Park.

He followed her silently down the hall when they got off of the elevator. It registered to him that Gia allowing him into her home was big for her. Her door was red. In fact, it was the only door that was red. It looked older than the doors on the other units.

The apartment was a large open space. When they walked in, they were in the living room. To the left of the door was a dining room area and behind the living room portion was a kitchen with an island in the middle lined with 4 high back stools. Cabinets were to the left of the island and formed and L shape that lead to oven, a sink with a dish washer below and a double door stainless steel refrigerator. To the far right of the kitchen were sliding glass doors that led to a balcony. The entire area was floored with a dark hard wood. The walls were painted a pale blue, so pale it was almost white. The cabinets were painted a darker blue.

He appreciated the simplicity of it. The living room had a couch that would fit 3 people, 4 if it was a tight squeeze. There was a love seat and a large chair that two people could fit in with a decent size ottoman. The wall in the living room consisted of built in book shelves that were almost completely full. Mostly with books, but also pictures, an impressive vinyl collection and what he assumed were momentos and memories from her life. He felt like he was intruding on some of the deepest parts of her.

"I'm going to go change. I'll be right back."

"I'll be here." Her eyes lingered on him for a moment and she headed down the hall that was between the dining room and kitchen. He could tell the wall color of the hallway was the same as the rest of the apartment. He wandered over to the shelves to look at the pictures. His eyes immediately went to a picture of Gia, Gabe and another boy who was older than the other two. It was clear from this picture that Gia was the youngest and the unnamed boy was the oldest. The boys both had a sandy blonde hair. Gabe's hair was cut short, while the other boy's was longer on top and had waves to it. They both had bright blue eyes. Gia's hair was a light ash blonde when she was a little girl, her hair now was a few shades darker, but still had an ashy tone to it. He had wondered if her curls were natural, they were almost too perfect to be. He couldn't help but smile at the wildness of the curls that framed her face as a child. Her bright smile was the best part of the picture. Her eyes were a stunning dark blue. It was clear the boys were brothers. Gia could definitely be there sister, but he wasn't 100% sure.

"He was my brother." Her voice was hoarse. Barba hadn't realized that he had been staring at that single picture for so long. He turned and looked at her. She was perfectly imperfect. Her hair had the wildness of her childhood and was secured in a messy bun on her head. She was wearing short black bicycle shorts, she must have put a baggy white t-shirt on, the hem of it was a few inches longer than the royal blue hoodie she had put on.

His eyes were dragged to her left thigh. She had a large tatto of an intricate black dreamcatcher over what looked like water color purple, blue, and light turquoise. He couldn't help himself.

"Nice ink Detective." Her cheeks grew pink, the paleness of the rest of her face made it stand out more. He gave her a small half smile which caused a ghost of the one to cross hers and then it disappeared quickly.

He watched her as she walked to the refrigerator and pulled a bottle out of the freezer. She pulled out two glasses and filled them half way with the amber liquid. She opened the refrigerator and poured some maraschino cherry juice into one. As she put the bottle back in the freezer she reached in a plopped a few ice cubes into what he knew was her glass. She drank it all of the time, bourbon with cherry juice. He teased her that she couldn't drink it straight like a grownup. She had said she wanted to enjoy her drink, not prove a point. She walked over to where the couch was and set their glasses on two coasters on the table across from the couch that was painted the same color as her cabinets, but it had white roses intricately painted on it.

She looked over at him. "How...how long are you going to stay?" He watched as she bit into her half of her bottom lip. It made him realize that she wanted him there because she truly didn't want to be alone, but she was too afraid or proud to ask.

"As long as you want me to." He watched her contemplate for a moment.

"Well you might want to get at least a little more comfortable." He walked over to the door and slid his shoes off. He took his suit jacket off and hung it on the back of a dining room chair and then removed his tie as well. He left his suspenders on, but rolled his sleeve up.

When he turned back around, she was sitting in the middle of the couch with her knees drawn to her chest watching him. He walked over and sat to her right so he could sit closer to her. He could see the wheels turning in her head. She was trying to decide what to say, how much she was going to let him in.

"The other boy in the picture is my older brother Grayson." Rafael put his arm behind her on the couch and turned toward her slightly.

"Are you close?" He asked tentatively. She nodded.

"He works in finance. He, my niece and sister-in-law live in the city. Like the super rich section of the city."

"You don't exactly live in the poor section of the city." She rolled her eyes at him.

"This apartment was my grandmother's. She passed away while I was finishing my Bachelor's. She left it to me and Gray. I told him we should sell it and split the profits. He refused. Our Grandmother lived her for a long time, after my dad had grown up. Gray said he wanted me to be able to live off campus when I started my Master's at Columbia. He also said that he didn't need the apartment. He was already really successful at that point. He thought that if he let me live here when I was working towards my doctorate, that I would stay in the city when I was done. He couldn't stand the idea of me not being close. He and I have always been close. He was nine when I was born. He made it his job in life to protect me."

"You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. What about you and Gabe?" She slowly let her legs slide down and away from her chest. She leaned forward and took a long drink from her glass and then leaned back and rested her head on the back of the couch and closed her eyes for a moment. After a few moments she opened her eyes again.

"Gabe had classic middle child syndrome. He was almost four when I was born. He had a hard time adjusting to not being the baby of the family anymore. I think it made it harder that I was the only girl. It wasn't until I was ten that we started to get along. I always felt like he hated me. I think becoming a teenager made him shift his ire from me to our parents and Grayson. Especially Grayson. He always thought Gray loved me more."

"What happened Gia?" She leaned forward again and downed the rest of her drink. When she was done, she shifted closer to him to on the couch, and then she put her head in her hands. He immediately felt guilty. He slid his hand down to the middle of her upper back and lighted rubbed circles on it. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me. I'm sorry I asked" She wiped her eyes before she sat up and sniffed. He kept his hand on her back.

"I want to. I need to. I can't...I can't keep this in. I've been so alone in this for so long." She swallowed and took a few moments to regain some composure. "Gabe was an angry kid and my parents, especially my mom, didn't know how to handle him. She was so hard on him when in reality, he just needed more affection. My dad wasn't as hard as my mom, but he wasn't great at showing affection to either of my brothers. Old school Italian. It didn't bother Gray. He was just built differently. It wasn't that he didn't love them, he just didn't know how to show it like he did with me. Gray had no tolerance for Gabe. I was the only one that ever stood up for him, even when he didn't deserve it. In retrospect now, Gabe is- was on the spectrum. His intense need for fairness and justice was intolerable to my mother." She paused and took a few deep breaths. He didn't dare say anything. He didn't want her to retreat again.

"When he turned 15, he fell into a bad crowd. He acted out. He was a completely different person. He shut me out  and I gave up trying. When I turned 13, he showed up to my birthday party drunk. It was the limit for Grayson. They got into a physical fight and then he took off. My best friend, Elizabeth, Lizzie, who lived in the neighborhood, spent the night that night. Grayson was dating her sister Amy. They both felt horrible that my party had gotten ruined. So they said we were having an after party. They got a bunch of pizzas, we made ice cream sundaes and watched movies and had a dance party." She wiped a few stray tears away. "It was the most fun I had in so long. I was on an accelerated program at school. It was so hard. And Gray? He just wanted me to get to be a kid for one day. To him, what Gabe did was unforgivable. The morning after, Amy and Elizabeth walked home. A few hours later, their parents called checking to see when they would be home. I remember my father taking the call, but he didn't say anything. Gray and I were hanging out playing video games. He told us that he would be back soon." She took his drink and poured it into her glass and downed it. His hand was firmly still on her back. He realized that she needed to finish this story. She needed to unburden herself.

"They found Lizzie first." Saying her name out loud must have felt agonizing. She had paused and clenched her jawn for a moment. "She had been drugged, but they had given her too much and she overdosed. They said that she likely wasn't conscious to feel what they did to her. What they did to her made me sick. I saw her body." Another long pause with a deep breath before she continued "Amy was another story. It was weeks before they caught a break. They found this fort deep in the woods. Amy wasn't there, but there was evidence she had been. Lizzie's bag was there too. And there was evidence of two unknown kidnappers. The fort they found was one that I used to follow Gabe to all the time when we were younger. At 13, I couldn't even comprehend that my own teenage brother could be responsible for something like that. There were a handful of these forts in the woods in our neighborhood. When they found more evidence at a second one, I knew something was off. Gabe had been cagey and defensive for weeks. He refused to help them search. Gray was furious with him." Barba knew where this was going. She didn't have to finish, yet he knew there were things he couldn't possibly know that she needed to say.

"That night, I remember hearing Grayson crying in his room. I had never heard him cry before. I couldn't sleep. I had to dig through the vault of my brain to recall where it was, it was as a long time since I went following Gabe around. It was just before dawn when I heard my father in the kitchen and I went down and told him that Gabe had used those forts. They had found four of them, but I knew there was a fifth. It was so deep into the woods and well hidden. I knew they wouldn't find it on their own. My father called his partner and we met him and a few of the other detectives near the woods. He didn't tell my mother or Gray that we were going. He didn't want to get anyone's hopes up and he didn't want Grayson coming. He wasn't sure what we were going to find. When we got there, he had one of the officers take me home. They didn't want me to see either, but they needed me to show them where to go. Amy was barely alive when they found her. And what they didn't to her?" She was crying again and shaking. "I can't even say it, but it was horrific. Once they had gotten her out and secured the crime scene, my father came home and arrested my brother. He didn't want anyone else to do it. And when Gabe came down the stairs, he knew, he knew I was the one that led them there." She leaned forward and grabbed a few tissues.

"Amy died while in ICU. I almost think it was a blessing. If she had physically recovered, she never would have recovered psychologically from the torture she endured. It was sadistic" she shook her head. "As angry as Gabe was? I just couldn't see him doing something like that. He refused to give up who his partner was. My father begged him. The D.A. was willing to cut him a deal. He gives up his partner, the D.A. would take the death penalty off of the table. Gabe still refused. He said he wouldn't give up the only person that cared about him. My testimony put that needle in his arm tonight" Her hands were still shaking.

"Look at me." Gia shook her head. "Gianna Mira!" He said a little more forcefully. She slowly looked at him. He closed the small amount of distance between them and took her face in both of his hands and wiped her tears. "You listen to me right now. You are NOT responsible for this. He made the choice to abuse and murder two girls with his friend. He made a choice to not give that friend up. It was his choices that led to what happened tonight, not yours." She nodded, he stayed close to her.

"My mother, she- she told me that if I had said something sooner that Amy would still be alive. I was just a kid, I didn't know. When Grayson heard her say that? He was SO angry. It was the first time in his life he ever stood up to her. She backed off, but she never apologized. I don't think she's ever apologized for anything. She used to tell my dad and Gray that they were going to make me soft and I needed to be a pillar of strength. I was traumatized and she couldn't be bothered with feelings. She never saw Gabe again after he was sentenced. He was no longer her son. My father gave up on him too after a few years. The D.A. told him that if he turned his partner over, they would stay the execution. My father tried so hard to convince him, he just couldn't take it anymore. And Grayson? He didn't care that he was our brother, he would never forgive him. It is the only thing we ever fight over. I wasn't allowed to see him, my mother made that very clear. When I turned 18, he called me. He was an adult and time had made him remorseful. He told me that he never blamed me. He told me it was never supposed to go that far. He had just wanted to mess with Grayson. His friend was only supposed to grab Amy. His friend had panicked when Lizzie started screaming so he took them both. I tried, one more time to get him to open his mouth. He said, the only control he ever had in his life was keeping his mouth shut and that he didn't want them to cancel the execution. He was ready to be done. I asked him to stay alive, for me. He told me that I would be better off without him. There would be no more arguing with Grayson. He wasn't scared to die. He was just sorry that it was going to cause me more pain. He said he was still too selfish to put anyone's needs above his own. I had hoped that my Dad would have come. I just don't think his heart could take it. I know they spoke on the phone a few weeks ago. Neither one of them would tell me about it beyond that. The not knowing who was responsible for Lizzie still haunts me. I have nightmares all of the time. That's why I have the tattoo, I thought maybe a physical manifestation would help stop them. I don't know that I'll ever sleep again."

She grabbed both of their glasses and went over to the counter and refilled their drinks. Rafael stood up and followed her. He took the drinks out of her hands and set them on the counter and then pulled her into a tight hug.He felt her body relax in his arms. He didn't want to say he was sorry. Somehow he knew she would see it as pitty. There were no words that could be said that would make any difference. They stood like that for a while before she pulled away. He wiped her eyes again.

"Thank you for trusting me with your story. Who else knows?"

"Just Cragen. He would only let me come to SVU if I was upfront about why I wanted to work there. Though I held it together when I told him."

"Amaro doesn't?"

"No. He just saw a portion of the execution notice. He asked, but I wouldn't tell him. He asked me if I was going and I said yes. He wanted to come with me, but I told him no. I wouldn't have been able to handle him finding out"

"I'm surprised you let me come in with you, but I'm glad you did. No one should go through that alone. Your story is safe with me."

"I know. I trust you, Rafael."

"I'm glad."

"You don't have to stay."

"There's no place else I want to be right now. C'mon, we'll watch a movie." He tucked a loose girl behind her ear. Rafael wasn't leaving her alone. While she was willing to share all of that, she was also excellent at masking her emotions, likely a trait she learned so she could appease or survive her mother. She needed someone to show up for her. He was more than willing to do that for her.

[krillest1]

Week 10: A Text of Unknowing

ENTRANCE Another week, as they say, in paradise. Mine was also spent in solitude. I saw family a couple of times this week, and ate a couple of happy and conversation-filled dinners with them. The rest of the week, however, was marked by solitude. I haven't been around people in a couple of weeks(?), and things are starting to get a little weird. Oh well, I'll have more than my fill of people once I start working again. I spent a good chunk of money this week, which has been weighing on me. I also watched a lot of "Armored Trooper Votoms", which is pretty solid. Nicotine cravings are back, and while I haven't had any using dreams or anything, it's obnoxious to feel that weight at the base of my brain. I've given up on dating apps again, which I think is for the best. I cannot navigate interpersonal relationships at the moment, and the person of my dreams would not be into me (or, probably, on a dating app). This sounds negative, but I have been practicing gratitude in unknowing, which has saved me at a couple of points this week from that too-familiar late fall melancholy.

THE TEXTS IN QUESTION I forewent a segue, excuse me. This week I tried to read "Conics," by Apollonius. The version I got (ripped off the internet) did not have diagrams, so I was thrown into a purely linguistic description of cones, hyperbolas, ellipses, whatever. That, paired with my general dimwittedness, made for an extremely interesting experience. I was reading words, and I was sketching partial diagrams in my head, but I was met at all sides and in all times by discontinuity, and by unknowing. It was interesting to get glimpses of the white belly of some interesting thing, some logical consistency, before losing it all again. The surface level take-aways were 3: (1) I would not read, if all reading was like this for me. (2) I am pretty dumb and (3) There are things that are so complicated in this world, that I will never understand them. While (3) could be a cause for concern, I find it kind of comforting, to be taken up in my unknowing. After reflection, and finishing "Conics," however, I realized that a lot of my life is spent interpreting texts I don't really understand. The other classic example, from my immediate life, is my ritual morning podcast. I listen to 10 minutes of a German or Spanish podcast every morning, to try and ram some language into my head. This experiment has been unsuccessful. It is, in a similar way to "Conics", an experience with some slippery thing. I cannot quite grasp what's being said, and I don't really learn; instead, I am found in my weakness/in my unknowing. The last, and most stretched interpretation I do is not textual in the traditional sense. People, a class which I cannot understand no matter how hard I try, dredge up similar slippery feelings. My connections with others are tenuous at best, and onerous at worst. I, for example, met someone (a friend, my life is, has been, and will be devoid of romance) who I felt understood me well. I acted as though I knew them, and we talked regularly for a year or two. I did something wrong, or something, and we had a not-quite-falling-out. I haven't seen this person in a while, and I likely won't ever talk to them again. I've spent a lot of time ruminating on why this not-quite-falling-out happened, to what extent it was my fault, and the types of lessons I should learn. My only take away has been that I cannot interpret things such that I have a take away. People, the things we do and say and feel, are totally opaque to me.

TEXT I've strayed from the topic at hand, kind of. What is it about text itself that threw me into unknowing? Before jumping in: I have spent a lot of my life crafting narratives about how smart I am, how I could do whatever if I really put my mind to it, and how people would like me if I approached them. Text puts most of these things to the test, and I often come up short. When I encounter something really complicated, or new, or tricky, I find that I cannot make sense of it. This not-knowing is a pretty uncomfortable thing. It makes me feel dumb, and since I think most things bottom out at feeling good, and being/experiencing the interesting makes me feel good, it makes me feel bad. Text is kind of inescapable, in that way. We can ignore the text, or skim over the top of it, but if I'm really reading I cannot escape being caught in my unknowing. I don't know how unique this is. I think what sets me apart from most people is how quickly I bump into my limit. Limit here refers to a (fuzzy, probably) delineation between sense and nonsense. I could have dumped quadruple the amount of time I spent on "Conics" into the text, and not gotten much more out of it than I did. I could have tried to sketch out those damned lines and ellipses, but I can't draw and I was mis-imagining them. My world is a close and limited one. This is, in some ways, a very frustrating experience. I would like to be smart, and to make sense of things in a consistent way. I, however, am not and cannot do this. That means that I'm always bumping into the edge. My world is close enough that I'm surrounded by edges. Edge here has two meanings/imaginings i.e. the edge of a cliff, some clear ending, and the point at which a contiguous thing is bent or folded. I don't know which I'm experiencing here; maybe it doesn't matter, but I like that fuzziness is even reflected in my language. I am working on not fetishizing being smart/capable/strong as much. I am grateful in (not for) my unknowing as I get to trace edges, and I get to see half-lit landscapes, and I get to feel something strange. <= That's not quite right, I think we like the strange too much, but I get to see things in a dysfunctional way. Deleuze says the idiot is not in error, but that they bring up their ground with them, in thought. I am not well-read enough in German Idealism to make sense of this, but I like that the idiot is not relegated to a role of lack.

DIE WELT We are not engaged with text as often as we once were, or the texts we are engaged with do not demand interpretation in the same way a book does. I have spent a shitton of time on the internet, which means I've engaged with the text-image-video-comment( a unique type of text) assemblage ad naseum. I think that text presents itself in a different way on social media. Instead of being something which confronts us, and which demands interpretation, it is open to any interpretation. A meme, or a copypasta, refers to some larger community but can circulate through many different communities. The language of the incel has become mainstream, and the text itself around that is smooth. We don't really confront it. There are, to be fair, the occasional screes that demand our intention, but I skim them. Text, in short, does not demand interpretation when it's presented online. I think this may have something to do with the structure of social media itself. There is no continuity between what comes before and what comes after; in a book, (especially one like "conics") one thing interpolates the next, and demands care. The internet is not structured for this type of experience. There are, to be fair, books that are structured a little bit like this but, and I feel silly even typing this out, a book is a bound thing. Interpretation is limited, in some way, by the thing-itself. The internet is, for all intents and purposes, boundless. Things may be interpolated, but not in a consistent way. What's the effect here? I, personally, have become a fragmented thing maybe because I have dealt with so many fragments. I cannot understand people because I look at them as fragments, or lacunary, as the internet taught me. Who knows. I definitely have no friends. More broadly, I think the internet shows us that we can build all sorts of arbitrary structures. Have you ever tried netstalking? There were a few different tools to do this, back in the day, but it would functionally take some website (I was partial to image searches on bing and imgur) and, often using random numbers, deliver you a random sampling of said website/image bank/whatever. These random samplings lent themselves to all sorts of interesting constructions. This was an inbetween text, one which I constructed but also forced me to find my limit (which are, as we've established, close). I can imagine some sort of perfect net-stalking, by which every object (what constitutes an object? Already, problems) online is given a unique number and some random (ok, ok, there is no truly random thing, give it a rest determinists) process makes constructs out of these objects. To archive, or to create an archive, ends up being the goal. I'd like to use the archive as a lynchpin to understand myself, text, others etc., but I am out of time for the week

EXEUNT I had a different topic in mind this week, which was more intimate etc. I read an op-ed online, however, and they mentioned that we have an almost pornographic obsession with intimacy online, or something, and that made me re-evaluate some things. I'm not sure, honestly, why I've done this for 2.5 months. I find it embarrassing, and I think the types of people I would like to interact with would not find this interesting. Still, it's something to do and it forces me to think of something each week, I guess. This week was fine, despite what the intro sounds like. I have been spending a lot of time alone, but that time has been largely enjoyable. I think, really, that I'm scared that things will get bad again. I'm scared that I won't be able to get out of bed, and that I'll start smoking, and that I'll never feel ok again. There are social structures in place to avoid this sort of thing, but I can't access them (really). I am tired of being afraid, and I'm tired of carrying the weight of ego around. I'd like to let both go. I am having faith in gratitude in unknowing, and in that ground I dredge up whenever I speak. I am, in short, faithfully yours. Have a good week, love ya :)

[marvelobsessedteenager]

All The Hurt - Chapter 1

Pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader

Warnings: ANGST, Peter was an ass, reader is a hurt and petty bitch, fluff to make up for the angst, curse words, lots of “coincidences”, description of an explosion and blood.

Summary: Peter Parker. What a dick. It wasn’t always like this, but once he just got up and gladly left you for an unknown reason, you decided to bring hell down on him by publicly ridiculing him whenever you got the chance. However, when you accidentally find out what he's been hiding, conflicted feelings begin emerging, causing you to wonder if you could ever forgive him — especially when he saves your life.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/n: this came to me in a fucking dream so you bet I had to wake up and write this. It’s already completed hehe. I’m going to be posting the parts every day so stay tuned :D

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Never in your entire life would you have thought that there’d be a time when you’d willingly side with Flash. When you’d join him in bullying Peter, your best friend that you’d known since the both of you were shitting yourselves in diapers. Not a night goes by in which you don’t ask yourself why.

Why did he decide to break you?

The day he told you he didn’t want to be friends with you anymore was a day worse than finding out your father had cheated on your mother, prompting her to abruptly exit both your and your father’s lives when you were eleven. In all honesty, it felt like Peter took notes about suddenly leaving when you cried to him about your mother disappearing and used them to his advantage the summer before freshman year.

It was a pain like no other, a wound so hurtful your tear tank was constantly emptied every time you were alone in your room. There were too many nights where you’d lie awake with an ache in your chest - like someone dropped an avalanche on your heart and left it there to crush it.

Friendship breakups hurt like hell.

The days seemed to move slow and the nights even slower. You didn’t know how much time had passed when you’d blankly stare at your collection of photos of the two of you with tear stricken cheeks.

You constantly wondered if he regretted it.

And if he did, you told yourself you’d forgive him. You’d go back to him, because you were sure he didn’t mean it. Excuses began piling up in your mind, each one not having enough evidence to be proven true; maybe he was going through something he didn’t want to talk about. Maybe someone in his life died, like when Uncle Ben suddenly passed away. He didn’t speak to you for a week and didn’t show up to school, and when you went over to check on him, he broke down in your arms as he apologized for ignoring you, but you understood.

You always did.

So, you waited, and waited, and waited. Waited for a call, a text, something. But nothing ever came. No phone calls — he ignored yours — no apologies, no explanation, nothing but radio silence. It was almost like you never existed in the first place.

Day by day your hope slowly faded, and by the 56th day, all of it was gone. You didn’t know how to feel. You were furious at him for abandoning you. You were heartbroken. You told yourself you were being overdramatic — it wasn’t like you were in a relationship together, no matter how much you wanted to be.

All he ever saw you as was a friend. But that was before it all happened. Now he probably didn’t see you as anything but a stranger.

A stranger with memories and secrets revolving him.

Hot anger was quick to take control of your mind, and soon you stopped your crying and tore down years worth of captured memories and pinned birthday cards he made you - all reminders of how much you loved him - and threw them into a box. You shoved it to the back of your closet, along with your dignity and love for him.

Four months after your ‘breakup', you came back different. Newfound confidence shone out of you with every step you made down Midtown’s hallways. Your smile radiated happiness as you felt everyone’s eyes lay upon you. You were able to fool yourself and others around you that nothing happened. Your heart knew better, but soon it’d turn to stone.

And you convinced yourself that you preferred it that way.

You moved on, found friendship in others, and although they never lived up to him, they were enough to fill part of the gaping hole in your heart.

Flash making amends with you was probably the most surprising and unexpected thing to have ever happened in the school. You two got along well, almost too well, and about halfway into the school year, you became good friends. You two weren’t as close as you and Peter once were, but you bonded over your absent parents in ways you didn’t know were possible.

You felt understood, and he the same.

Still, that didn’t stop you from seeing Peter in the hallways. You made it a point to walk past him like you didn’t know him — because apparently, you didn’t.

You kept watching him from a distance.

You watched him make goo-goo eyes at Liz while rolling your own.

You watched him dart out of school at exactly two forty-five every day. You saw the anxiousness in the way he bounced his leg during class, the tapping of his pencil on the desk, the constant glances he threw at the clock with every minute that passed. You wanted to ask, but you didn’t.

On a particular day, the same day you overheard him and Ned making plans to meet up at his house to build Legos, you decided to go to Delmar’s to grab a bite. You hadn’t been there since the breakup, as you were always too nervous in case Peter ended up going there at the same time, and now that there was a clearing, you took it. Even if he was there, you didn't care.

You don’t.

When you stepped into the store, you were immediately welcomed by the one and only Mr. Delmar. He looked good — happy and content, and that’s why you absolutely adored him. It wasn’t fair that you cut off ties with him because of Peter, but he didn’t seem to take it personally. He went on and on about how much taller you’ve gotten and reminisced about how little you were when you and Peter got your first flattened number five sandwiches with pickles.

He must’ve seen your smile falter at the mention of Peter, because his eyebrows furrowed in concern not a moment later, “Did something happen to you kids? I never see him come with you anymore.”

So he’s been coming without you.

Ouch. That’s another stab to the heart.

Your palms began to feel slick as you rubbed them on your jeans with a strained smile and a shaky voice, feeling as if the walls were closing in on you, “Uh-we-“

But you never got to finish. Mr. Delmar’s eyes widened at something behind you, and in a split second, he yelled, “Get down!” followed by a string of Spanish curse words.

A scream left your mouth as a purple wave of something ripped through the bodega, nearly missing you by a strand of hair as you ducked. Shattered glass scattered everywhere, digging into the skin of your arms in a multitude of places. You hissed at the burn you felt below your eye, feeling a heavy liquid (which you assumed was blood) trail down your cheek and neck. You felt intense heat near your legs and your vision became blurred, ears ringing as all other noises besides your breathing became muffled. You coughed and coughed, feeling like your lungs were closing in on themselves from the fire that surrounded you.

The light above you flickered as you attempted to shout Mr. Delmar’s name, praying that he was all right.

But your voice never left your throat.

Your legs were trapped below two giant shelves that collapsed on them, and you weren’t strong enough to move them no matter how many times you tried to. The fire slithered like a snake as it began climbing to where your legs were being held below the rubble.

“Help.” You weakly whispered in between your coughs. The air around you felt heavy and limited, and it was starting to feel like you were choking on the fumes. You didn’t know how much longer your lungs could take.

It was hot. So fucking hot.

Your eyes shut and your head fell back on the ground, chest heaving in fast paces as you felt your body give up already, a burning sensation spreading all over you, like your insides were set on fire.

Your face trickled with sweat that dripped down to your cheeks, mixing with your tears.

Just when all hope was gone, just when you thought you were done for, you felt the weight lift off of your legs in one sudden movement, and an arm slide beneath your knees and on your back, holding you tightly.

You looked up at your savior, and who else could it have been other than Spider-Man, New York’s knight in shining armor, and apparently yours, too. You heard part of what he seemed to be saying as he looked down at you: “…got…I…you” and you could’ve sworn you heard your name.

But then again, you were on the brink of death, so you were no doubt hearing things.

You laid your tired head on his chest, wheezing into his smooth suit as he ran and jumped away from the fire until he reached the outside. He gingerly placed you on the ground and made you lean back against a parked car, and you breathed in the cool night air as he crouched down to rub your back while you practically choked.

In front of Spider-Man.

How embarrassing.

You felt your head heavily fall back as you clutched your arm in pain, the distant sound of police sirens audible now. Your eyes landed upon his covered face that turned away when you looked at him - like he was staring at you until you caught him. You could see that he wanted to go somewhere in the way that his spidey-eyes were expanding and shrinking at the destroyed bank across the street. You moved to touch your legs, and by some miracle, they were just a little sore. You could manage on your own.

“Go,” you breathily said, making Spider-Man look down at you, “I’m okay.”

He hesitated for a moment and pivoted his head to your legs. You breathed out half a laugh, coughing again, “Dude,” you placed a hand on his shoulder and jutted towards your legs as you began moving them, “they’re fine. I’m fine. I know you wanna go somewhere. Just go after it.”

He stayed. For a long minute, just watching you breathe and tilt your head at him. You wondered what was going on in that brain of his, wondered how old he was, wondered where he went to school - if he even went to school. You were trying to formulate a way to thank him for saving you, but you didn’t get the chance to. He nodded and quickly he sprung away, making way for the paramedics and cops to inspect the scene.

You didn’t go to school for a whole week after the incident, as you were too busy reflecting on what had happened. You went over multiple scenarios and “what if’s” and tried not to dwell on the fact that you had to have your driver pick you up from the hospital, not your father. He was probably out of the country, like he always was.

When you finally returned to school, you had stitched up three areas, including one below your eye, and were bombarded with questions and a large group hug from your friends. Your phone was no doubt a goner, so they had no way of contacting you. Even when they tried to come over, your housekeeper, Jane, always the responsible adult, told them the doctor needed you to rest alone.

She knew you couldn’t handle people, and needed to recharge on your own. She was like the mother you never had. Even when Peter left, she stayed by your side and tried to cheer you up. She knew how strong your feelings were for Peter, but she didn’t question you, instead allowing you to grieve the way you wanted to - alone.

Your friends asked you about what happened, and their eyes sparkled when you told them the Spider-Man came to your rescue, their excitement cutting short once the bell rang. They all left to go to their classes after wishing you a quick recovery. All but one.

Flash stood in front of you, nibbling on his lower lip with a wobbling chin and glassy eyes.

“Are you..crying?” you squinted at him, lips twitching into a smirk.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, wiping the stray tears before attacking you with a tight hug. You sighed deeply, feeling a nostalgic warmth spread through your chest as you placed your chin on his shoulder, arms circulating him and squeezing in a way that said "I’m here."

In class, you felt hardcore stares — stares that came from one person and one person only. You saw them from the corner of your eye, tracing the scar on your face. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think they were laced with worry. But perhaps you hit your head too hard.

During gym class, the last class of the day, you were excused from exercises due to your near-death experience, so you watched and cheered Flash as he climbed the ropes, attempting to break his own record.

“48 seconds.” You stated, pausing the timer as he jumped to the ground and planted his hands on his knees, breathing hard.

He looked up at you with a deep frown, “Seriously? How did I get slower?”

You shrugged, “Maybe you should change your nickname, Eugene.” You smirked, taunting him with the name you knew he hated.

He breathed out a laugh as he shook his head. He was about to say something when Ned’s voice overpowered everyone else’s with one sentence: “Peter knows Spider-Man!”

Everybody went so silent you’d think the queen of England had just walked in.

The sound of balls being dropped and shoes squeaking echoed through the gym as all heads turned to Peter Parker, who nervously looked around and quickly stood up, “Uh, no! No, I don’t. I-I mean..”

He clumsily made his way over to Liz (go figure), whose face remained expressionless.

“They’re friends,” Ned said as a matter of factly.

“Yeah, like Coach Wilson and Captain America are friends,” Flash said, making a couple of people laugh, including you.

“I’ve met him, yeah, a-a couple of times. But it’s um, through the...Stark...Internship. I’m not really supposed to talk about it.” He gritted through his teeth as he threw daggers at Ned with wide eyes.

“Well, that’s awesome!” You piped in, your loud sarcasm breaking the silence that settled over the gym, "He’s a pretty cool guy, I’m sure Liz would love to meet him. Hey, maybe you should invite him to her party.”

“Yeah, I’m having people over tonight, you’re more than welcome to come.” Liz sweetly admitted, almost like she wanted him to come.

Ew.

“You’re having a party?” Peter said breathlessly, as if that wasn’t what you just said.

Flash gave Peter a snarling smile, “Yeah, it’s gonna be dope. You should totally invite your personal friend Spider-Man.” He suggested, derision oozing out of his words.

“Um-“ Peter stammered, helpless eyes searching for assistance in your own. But you wouldn’t give him any sympathy. Not anymore. You stared back, cold as ice, and you knew he saw that. You merely gave him a raised eyebrow, challenging him to say something.

“It’s okay,” Liz said, breaking you and Peter’s eye contact, “I know Peter’s way too busy for parties anyways so..”

“Oh, come on, he’ll be there. Parker wouldn’t ditch.” You said, voice dripping with venom as you maintained eye contact with him and walked past Flash until you reached him. You stopped at his side, just enough to give him a deadly stare, “Right?”

You watched his Adam’s apple bob and eyes dart across the ground as his fingers tangled with one another to conceal his shaking left hand. You studied his face, ignoring something that looked like a fading bruise on his jaw. The school bell rang, and with that, Flash walked to you, raising his hand for a fist pump. You bumped yours with his with a smirk and walked out the gym doors, ready to call Peter out on his bullshit once more tonight.

Next Chapter All The Hurt Masterlist Main Masterlist

[hannya-writes]

A White Demon love song

Title: A White Demon Love Song

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Obi wan Kenobi x reader

Other characters: Anakin, a Mandalorian? It can be Din Djarin if you like

Category: Romance, Sad, Song fic maybe?, Implied sex scenes.

Warnings: Almost Sith!Obi Wan

Author's note: the first time I wrote this... It was in spanish cuz that's my first language, and I had to translate myself, which was weird and freaking frustrating, but I like the results! Hope you like it!

• • •

Obi wan had hear about "The Killers" bar. It was far away from the center of Coruscant and the jedi temple, it was a place were one could contract a mercenaries, have a nice drink and hear some music. It was one of the very few nice bars in the area. It also was the place where Master Yoda had been informed about the presence of a Jedi, but not just any jedi: someone claimed that Y/n Y/l/n was there every night.

Obi Wan and Anakin where assigned to look out the place. As they grew closer, publicity got heavier. Almost all of the paper and screens announced a singer by the name "Dragon Owl". By his side Anakin sighed in boredom, but he didn't dared ask why were they going to that place, the only data Obi Wan had have him as that they were looking for a death jedi.

As soon as they got to the hidden entrance the Jedi master felt a weird sensation through the force. He couldn't quite place the feeling it provoqued in him, but it was familiar.

A voice reached them and Anakin stopped in the middle of the stairs. Unlike Obi Wan, he recognized the force signature and the voice of the singer: it was Y/n Y/l/n's voice. She had hummed that song to him at night to help him fall asleep.

— Anakin? — Obi Wan made him get back to reality, making him move after seconds of music. His feet moved in a hurry, wishing to see the person singing. He had to see if he was being fooled because it couldn't be Y/n, she was dead, Count Dooku had killed her.

The Sith had gloated about his lost. He had told him how hard she had fought him, how he had tortured her. But there she was, eyes closed in concentration, her mouth open while singing.

— no — he muttered to himself incapable of believing what he was seeing.

— she's alive? — Obi Wan said under his breath, as surprised as Anakin by the vision in front of him. — it can't be... She...— Her eyes opened and Obi Wan felt as if someone had hit him with a blaster. It had to be a clone of Y/n.

"Let us be in love" she sung and the Jedi Master felt a knot in his throat "Let's do old and gray" a headache started with those words as memories came back "I won't make you cry" Y/n was crying in his memories as she cupped his face "I will never stray" no, she hadn't said those words. She had said "You will never stray, you will do your part"

— what are you talking about? — he remembered himself asking her, a smile in his face as she laughed with sad eyes.

— will you let us be in love tonight? — she asked and he lifted an eyebrow.

— I will let us be in love forever — he answered to her delight before taking her closer to kiss her.

He remembered that night a couple of years ago. How the kisses turned wet, how he had traced patterns through the naked skin. How she had whispered love words in his ear while he moved against her, inside her making her moan in pleasure. Her barely audible voice calling for him, singing "Obi wan" like it was the only words she knew. The pleasure, the sweat, the lust. The dangerous need to posses her in every possible way. Then the morning after, her quiet sobs as she explained that they couldn't be together, how it was better to forget. She confessed she had a vision of him falling to the dark side because of his love for her. Why she couldn't allow it to happen so she erased all the memories that made him love her. And he forgot.

Until that moment, with that song. She had made him forget and ran away so he wouldn't fell in love with her again. But she was there singing about the past, about an unreachable love when he was right there dealing with feelings that he was forced to forget.

He wanted to walk towards her, kiss her, hold her in his arms. He wanted to sooth the pain away. It hurt him to listen to her singing about something he could fix, because he could fix her broken heart.

The song ended slowly and someone asked for a big applause for the Dragon Owl. Y/n bowed for the clapping audience and went to the little stair to walk down of the scenario, she had a big smile in her lips. Obi wan felt a brand new blast in his chest seeing her smile, it had been a life time since he saw her smile. He walked towards her to help her get down, he was going to offer his hand but someone beat him to it.

A gloved hand offered it's help and she took it in her left hand, she winked at the person and Obi Wan saw that hand guided to a man with a mandalorian armor, the beskar shone under the bright light.

His muscles tensed acknowledging the treat a mandalorian supposed, however his hands turned into fists when Y/n turned and stretched out to kiss the mandalorian helmet, not in any place but in the spot where the lips of the man should be. As an answer the man took out one of his gloves and caressed her lower lip, as if making a promise to kiss her.

Obi Wan knew that little touch over her lower lip could mean a lot of other things, but the intimacy in it annoyed him. Hand in hand, the couple walked to the back door and he followed with Anakin right behind him.

They kept the distance with the couple, waiting for the right time, the perfect moment to pull Y/n away from the mandalorian. Her loud laughter made Obi Wan jealous, he wanted her away from that man.

Funny enough in that moment she shoved the man while laughing, the man got closer and pressed her to the closer wall. His bare hand pushed the helmet up to uncover his lips, his free hand cupped her face gently, tumb caressing her cheek.

— oh, my dear Mandalorian — she sighed the words charged with a tender love that made Obi wan's gutt twirl.

Anakin gasp was barely audible. From all the people in the galaxy, Y/n was about to kiss a Mandalorian. A Jedi and a Mandalorian. He couldn't avoid thinking about Obi Wan and the Duchess of Mandalore subtly flirting. On the other hand, what he was seeing was everything but subtle. Y/n hands getting the helmet off a bit more, a chaste kiss turning lustful.

A deep blush formed in his face and felt angry, annoyed by this man, kissing Y/n in that way in an alley. He was not going to let it happen, he stepped out to protect Y/n but Obi Wan had moved a couple of seconds before, he ran the little distance and kicked the man away from the supposedly dead Jedi.

The mandalorian huffed trying to get back the breathe he had lost from that powerful kick, he tried to stand up but an invisible force was pushing him to the ground. Somehow his helmet had got back to cover his face.

— how dare you put your hands on her? — Obi Wan voice was calm but hide a underline of danger. If someone had asked him why did he do that, he would have answer that he saw a threat against Y/n. The truth however was he moved because he couldn't stand to see the woman he loved with another man. It made him get mad and jealous. His fear of losing her again was in control.

— Obi? — Y/n said in a surprised tone, eyes open in a expression of astonishment. Her eyes took in every detail in him, from his clothes to the bear. She couldn't stop herself from thinking "it's really him". But there was something wrong, his stance, his lightsaber on and in his hand ready to kill the enemy and the enemy was the man dressed in beskar. — wait! — she jumped in front of her lover.

Y/n felt the force, forcing her to back off, step by step with a strength but carefulness that she found amazing.

Obi wan brandished his light saber aiming for the head, but the lightsaber stopped midair. His eyes turned to Y/n, hand reaching for his weapon, stopping him.

— Stop! — she ordered and the force keeping her still vanished, a second later she let go his saber. She walked quickly to get back in front of Obi wan. — Obi Wan, look at me — she asked looking at man she was still in love.

— Are you willing to die for him? — the question held rage even being said in a low tone. His hand moved to get the lightsaber closer to her, the blue flame of it almost touched the skin of her neck. She made an expression of pain but held her ground.

— I'm not doing this for him, it's for you — she clarified and her eyes looked at those of the Jedi. However for the first time, they weren't of that baby blue color she loved so much, they were golden. — you are good man, an excellent jedi, you are a role model, I won't let you stain your hands with blood —

— Master! Stop! — Anakin said standing behind Obi Wan, looking horrified how Y/n walked towards the Jedi master without getting away from the lightsaber.

— you lied, you didn't love me— loathing was the only thing in his voice.

— but I did and I still do — she muttered with the very first step to get closer to him.

— you left, you faked your dead Y/n — he was threatening, his expression made her feel fear and a deep desire to ask for his forgiveness.

— It was necessary — she claimed standing by the hilt of his lightsaber, the blue fire bit on her neck and she made an expression of pain. Her hands reached his, holding the weapon.

Only then with the touch of her hands he reacted, his mind finally processed what he was doing. He was holding his lightsaber against Y/n. He had hurt her in her delicate neck

Obi wan didn't put resistance as she disarmed him and went to hug him while stating seven words that made him relax.

— I only love you Obi Wan Kenobi — she said softly and he hug her back, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck, in the side that wasn't hurt.

— My apologies, I didn't meant to hurt you — he said in a low and barely audible voice, she sighed holding him close. — I don't know what happened to me —

— I know — she answered not knowing what else to say, she couldn't tell him he had tasted the dark side, that he had acted motivated only by his feelings. How could she tell him? How could she explain to him that was the only path they could take while being together? How would she explain she left because it was getting out of hand? How could she tell him he had killed a squadron of clones because they had looked at her too long? How could she confess that his love for her will turn him into a sith? — It's fine, everything will be fine— she lied looking at Anakin with sadness.

The young man looked at her and she almost smiled, the pressure of Obi Wan's arms around her made her stop, along with a soft petition that sounded more like a demand.

— Stay with me — those words make her tremble and understand, there was no way to avoid destiny.

— of course, Darling —

[remmushound]

Bay/rise 37!! @errorfreak88 @selfindulgenz @digitl-art-monstr @brightlotusmoon @yarchurr @dakotafinely @sententiously-sarcastic @sprinklestheditty

Content warnings!! Mentions of death

The ringing in Leo’s ears was deafening. After his humiliating defeat, the best thing he could think to do was find someplace quiet to think. The single place in the lair that offered such solitude was Splinter’s room— the only single-person bedroom in the entirety of their home. It was small and Leo could barely fit through the doorway, and laying on the bed made him feel colossal, but he didn't care. He buried his face in the pillow and it smelled like his father and that was all that he cared about.

He didn't care about losing the spar. Sure, it was a bad sting to his self esteem, but at least his dad hadn’t been there to see it. But maybe if Splinter was there he could have talked some sense into Leo before he made a fool of himself in front of his brothers. He didn't know what he was doing and he admitted that to none but himself. He had been leader for almost four years— and even before then he had always taken well to bossing his brothers around. That’s why he had been made leader in the first place! Because Splinter saw something in him and chose to highlight that above all his flaws and faults. Leo still didn't know why!

As a kid, though he had always taken charge, his personality wasn’t just that. Not like what he was reduced to now. He remembered running the sewers with his brothers and mapping out the tunnels with their minds alone and how he was always the one who could find the way home even when Donnie’s techniques failed. He remembered Splinter taking them up to the storm drains so they could watch the parades go by in the streets. The colors, the people dancing, the music sounding off and filling Leo with such a bubbly, warm joy that he just wanted to dance along to any song that carried down the tunnels.

That was what ninjitsu was to him at first. Dancing. Memorizing the moves and following through as fluid and free as the dancers he saw on the streets and in movies. Trying to emulate what he saw— feeling the melody in the very blood that coursed through his veins. Then a fun hobby turned into an obligation. It wasn’t a game anymore— it wasn’t something to enjoy or a fun thing to practice in his free time. It was his duty, his responsibility. His honor. And he couldn’t let his father down!

He wasn’t human and he could never be human. He shouldn’t want to be human! He was a turtle— he was a mutant— he was Splinter’s son! He had to live up to all the stories he was told about how great he would be and he had to live up to his father’s expectations and he had to live up to what the people in the city needed him to be! He didn't need to dance, he didn't need to like his work—he shouldn’t like his work! Work is work and work isn’t meant to be enjoyed. He was a savior— a messiah in the form of a grotesque monstrosity and it was him and only him that could protect his brothers and the city and the earth and he just wished the ringing in his ears would stop—

Then he opened his eyes again. The ringing wasn‘t just in his ears. It was all around him. An alarm— Donnie’s alarm— sounding a warning of some enemy approaching. Leo looked up and dried his tears just as Donnie came rushing into the room.

“Leo! An alarm went off in the south tunnel! We should check it out! Are you gonna…?”

Leo stood up quickly, shoving his way past Donnie and reclaiming his swords on the way to the entry tunnel. He didn't dare look up at any of his brothers or their counterparts as he passed them by. He was a leader and he had to be strong and silent and he wasn’t allowed to cry. He wasn’t allowed to be weak. He had to be the best— he was the best! Even if Leonardo had beaten him.

They traversed the tunnels in silence. Leo’s brothers were all gathered around him, Mikey with his head hung low like a puppy and remarkably silent. Donnie gave Leo space instead of being right at his side as usual, and Raph put some distance between himself and his Leo for completely different reasons. He needed a chance to cool off before he strangled Leo for how the stubborn leader had been acting the past few dates. He could strangle him later, Raph told himself. Just wait until the sensei’s are safe.

Leonardo was in the lead of his family, Michelangelo clinging to his arm for security against the rushing water that tried to force him off his feet. Leonardo, slippery as he was, always had a better grip under the water than the land-dwelling box turtle could hope to achieve. Donatello was tapping away on his watch, though Michelangelo was half convinced that it was actually just a game. In the place of Raphael, who’s exhaustion couldn’t be moved even by the loud scream of the alarm, was April taking up the rear. She had yet to get her special baseball back, though whoever this Casey Jones was had promised to get it out of police holding for her. In its place she had a new, regular bat covered in nails. Not as effective as her mystic bat, but she was sure it could pack a punch nonetheless.

They came to the place where the alarm had gone off. All eight of them slowly came to a halt when they saw the intruder just standing there, calm as day, as if he had been waiting for them quite some time. Leo and his brothers all took an audible gasp as they stepped back, Leo putting his arms out to protect those behind him. Leonardo and his family, however, gasped for a whole different reason.

“HUESO!”

Despite Leo’s wide motion for them all to stay behind him, Leonardo lead his family to all ignore the leader and dash forward under Leo’s arms to greet the skeleton man. Hueso looked filthy, his normally flawless suit stained with the sewage he had to wade through and dripping even after he had found an almost-dry spot to stand on. 

“Oh Hueso! Es bueno verte! I can’t believe you’re here! I’d hug you if you weren’t so gross!” Leonardo laughed and held his arms out for a social-distanced hug.

“Yes, I’d do the same if not for similar reasons.” Hueso grumbled under his breath.

“How’d you get here Hues?” April asked, walking closer to the calaca than Leonardo dared.

“It is a very long story.”

***

“You go on ahead Cassandra. I got some loose ends to tie up.”

When Cassandra left through the rift and the portal closed behind her, only then did Draxum put Hueso back on the ground and release his vice-grip. Hueso gasped softly as he clutched at his throat, his eyes full of hate and locked on Draxum like he were the scum of the earth.

“What do you want from me?” Hueso asked finally, his eyes never once leaving the sheep yokai.

“We have a common means, calaca.” Draxum said, calm and steady. “I hear you are fond of the one called Leonardo.”

“Fond?” Hueso laughed, “I wouldn’t much call it fond as I would call it a... hostage situation.”

“But you know of him. You care for him?” Draxum made a fist and raised it to the air. “You are a very clever Yokai, I can tell. And I could trust no other with a message as important, and to accept what I am about to ask of you would ensure riches and safety for you and your family.”

A glint came to Hueso’s eyes. “What is your request?”

“My creations think me cruel. They know not of my plans, and I need a carrier to bring the news to them so we may unite our forces to take down a common enemy.”

“The Shadow Fiend…” Hueso whispered softly, looking to the place where the rift had once been. “He is not whole. He cannot be defeated in the state he is currently in.”

“Yes.” Drauxm growled softly.

“He must be made whole again, and the only way to do that is…”

“A sacrifice. A sacrifice of Hamato blood will bring the Shredder back whole. He’ll be defeatable.”

“But the cost...”

***

“...would be great.” Hueso finished. “You would be able to destroy The Shadow Fiend once and for all! He sent me here to be your guide.” Hueso looked to Leonardo.

“So he’s not bad!” Michelangelo said quite loudly, his voice echoing all around them as he ran fast to hug Hueso, almost tackling the older skeleton. “DRAXUM’S NOT BAD! I knew he wasn’t!”

“You… you’re just…” Leo pointed at Hueso.

“Just a bone man, yes.”

“Hm.” Leo smacked his lips together as he nodded ever so slightly. “Okay.”

“Can I touch your bones, dude?” Mikey asked, his mouth hanging open and eyes wide.

“That is extremely disrespectful.” Hueso spat, “You should show more respect to your elders.”

Everyone just stared at him.

“Well? Data prisa! We haven’t got all day!” Hueso started to usher the teens back down the sewer tunnel, his confidence and booming voice enough to compensate for the shorter and weaker form he had compared to the brothers. “Malditos chicos! Tan lento!”

The mutants scattered along at his urging just as they would if their Splinters had done the same. Hueso grabbed Leonardo before the blue ninja could get far. 

“Talk with me.” He said in Spanish before they started to walk again.

“Why the Spanish?” Leonardo spoke with the same tongue and in a hushed voice. He hoped none of the counterpart-brothers could understand what was being said.

“We must talk of your father in private.”

“Splinter? Why? Do you know something?”

“I told you the ceremony requires blood magic! It requires the host to be bled and possessed by the Dark Armor. The host would be your father with his hamato blood.”

Leonardo’s eyes went wide. He stopped walking for a moment, but Hueso grabbed him by the arm and forced him to keep going.

“B-but if we destroy the shredder then he’d be free right?”

“To destroy The Shredder, we will have to destroy the host.” Hueso looked up at Leonardo with mournful eyes. “If we go through with this, then you will have to kill your own father.”

[blackssuunn-mandoandyodito]

Like she doesn't know me

A Javier Peña one shot

Pairing: Javier Peña x reader

Rating: M

Words: 5.2k

A/N: this was fucking wild, may I say.This wasn't supposed to be longer than 2.5k words and well... I quite enjoyed it though, I hope you do too. This was partially inspired by a song in Spanish called No Me Conoce (Remix). Listen to it!

Warnings: teasing, longing, slight angst, oral sex (both f and m recieving), penetrative sex, multiple orgasms, slight sub Javi (very light),no condom (no glove no love folks!), slight fighting, slight harassment. I think that's it. Let me now if you think I should add something.

Summary: Javi gets hooked when you reject him, thinking about you for weeks after that. What happens when he finally finds you again?

Every weekend had been the same for Javi for a while. He went out, he drank, he smoked, flirted and picked up a hooker nice enough who wouldn't mention the sadness that so obviously showed in his eyes. He drowned the worry and guilt in whiskey and pussy, and until then it had been working fine.

But one night had changed his whole routine, and he hadn't known what was about to happen that time he entered the bar once more.

The day had been rough, a raid went wrong resulting in lost lives and added guilt to the already heavy one he was carrying. He just wanted to find a nice girl to bring home and fuck, nothing more.

Sitting at the counter of the bar, he looked around. Couples were dancing, beautiful sun-kissed skin girls rubbing together their hips, drunk men who couldn't even stand straight anymore stumbling around the place. The light was dim and sweaty bodies grinding against each other made the air heavy with sweat. The usual, if he may add.

His eyes kept roaming through the place, searching for something that truly caught his eye. He went through the tables, a couple of girls catching him looking and smiling at him seductively, but none that called him enough.

That's when he spotted you.

You were sitting at the corner, wearing a sleeveless black dress that hugged your body like a glove. The top part of it was made of black lace and he guessed it extended all the way to the back. Your legs were crossed over the knee, and he trailed his eyes down them like a starving man. The eyeshadow you were wearing accentuated your eyes beautifully, leaving him breathless at the effect they had. Your mouth, naturally pink and lips plump and swollen from sucking on them made his dick throb between his legs. Your hair was raised in a messy ponytail, the loose strands of it calling his fingers to pull at them. A slight blush covered your cheeks, either from the heat that the place was enveloped in or something else, he didn't now. 

He sucked in a breath, amazed at how someone so astonishing could be simply sitting there and not with multiple men at their knees in front of you. His hands itched to touch, warmth spreading along his body right from the center of his chest.

His palms were sweating as he stood up, feeling weak once his legs started to walk him towards your direction. Your perfume hit him full force, and he couldn't help but think that it fitted you perfectly. It sent a shiver down his spine, asking himself how would it smell with your bodies together, sweaty and wet. 

You didn't even look up to him, too entertained watching the couples dance. Seeing your interest in it, he took the opportunity.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked, voice weaving slightly. He cleared his throat and extended his hand, offering it to you with a crooked smile. 

To say he had been surprised when all you gave him as an answer was a strained smile as you shook your head was an understatement. His ego felt wounded at your rejection but too proud to say anything else, he huffed and turned around, walking away.

Later that night, he had managed to pick up a pretty girl to pass the night, but as he was fucking her, images of you plagued his mind and he knew he was hooked. He wondered what faces you would do as he caressed you, licked every part of your body and worshipped every inch of skin. He wondered what your voice was like, how his name would sound coming out of your lips as he made you come.

After that, every night he went out in hopes to find you again. He would go inside the same bar, sit at the same spot and look for you in the ocean of sweaty bodies there, but all in vain.

Every night he would end up with a different girl and come with the image of you running wild inside his mind. Every night he wondered what was the name he would be calling if only you had paid him any attention. And every night, without fail, he searched for you. 

Just as he was starting to give up, one night he was not in the mood to pick up a random hooker, the distinctive smell of your perfume he had memorized hit him full force, and he had to close his eyes and bite his lip to stop the groan that threatened to spill from his mouth.

His back straightened and his shoulders went stiff, not knowing what he should do. He desperately wanted to turn around and face you, see you again, wanted to know what were you wearing, what else his mind could use to imagine you in all positions he wanted to put you on. He was at your mercy and he hadn't even heard your voice.

He heard you walking to the same spot you were the first time he saw you and opened his eyes to side glance in your direction.

 His breath caught in his throat just as all his blood rushed down to his dick.

This time, you were wearing a shiny greenish dress with a V line going down to your middle back, with long sleeves that made him wonder how strong your arms would grip him if he lifted you up. Your hair was left free, like a curtain around your shoulders that fell into your nude back, and he wanted to brush his fingers through it. The dress rode up to your middle thighs, making him crave them wrapped around his head or at the very least, his waist. 

You turned around and all the air left his lungs as if someone had just punched him in the gut.

The first thing he noticed was your mouth. Your smile, this time a real one, made his heart beat rapidly inside his chest. It was so fierce and sexy he never wanted to look away. Your lips were painted crimson red, and he never wanted to be stained with lipstick so bad in his life. He wanted to kiss you, to bite your lips and see if you'd bite back.

Your eyes now sported a green shadow with a black edge to it, your long eyelashes projecting darkness in your cheeks. Your eyes looked especially deep because of it, and he feared that if he looked too long he would drown and never find a way out. Your face was blushed already, and you had just arrived at the bar. He wished he was the one to put it there.

You walked along with other girls to the same spot and sat down. Javi gripped the edge of the counter, his knuckles turning white. He didn't dare raise his glance, afraid that you'd catch him looking and find him a creep. Instead, he opted for stealing looks at you from time to time, watching as you slowly were left alone by your friends when they stood up to dance. You didn't seem to mind and kept watching like last time.

Jealousy bloomed inside his chest as he saw a man get close to you. For a moment he felt relieved as you shook your head, rejecting him. But rage filled his senses when the man didn't back up and even sat down next to you, letting his hand fall in your thigh.

You seemed uncomfortable by his touch, and it became worse when he leaned down to whisper something Javi guessed was dirty shit beside your ear.

He stood up, breath coming hard with his hands clenched into fists by his sides. He walked to you, face hot and red with fury. How dare he touch you like that? You had rejected him, was the man stupid enough to not catch the hint?

With much more force than necessary, he grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and yanked him up, standing face to face with him.

"Didn't you see how she shook his head?" he hissed, with the tone of voice that was usually reserved for the narcos he caught as a way of living. "That means NO, you fucking asshole!"

He then shoved him so hard that he fell into his back, a look of fear completely covering his eyes. He dragged himself away from Javi, standing up once he was far enough. 

Javier closed his eyes, breathing deeply to calm himself down. A giggle invaded his ears, and he raised an eyebrow.

He opened his eyes and turned to look at you, and he realized now how much of a fool he must look like. A blush spread through his cheeks, and he smiled sheepishly at you.

Warmth grew all over his body as he finally, finally got a sincere smile out of your lips.

"Thank you for that, I was wondering when were you going to try again," you said, and his embarrassment from before only grew. So you had noticed him staring after all.

The thought was forgotten for a moment as the fact that your voice was directed towards him reached his brain. It was so beautiful, like melted chocolate turned into sound. It was perfect for you, better than anything he could have imagined.

He straightened and cleared his throat, decided to do things right this time.

"May I sit?" He asked, signaling the free spot next to you. You nodded, an amused smile playing at your lips. He took off his black leather jacket and sat down with a safe distance between the two of you. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel uncomfortable around him. His red shirt was a little bit wet from the steam that hung in the air.

"So," you said, "knight in shining black armor, do you rescue girls as a seducing technique often?"

You didn't even sound upset or annoyed, just amused, but he couldn't help but feel like a scolded child.

"I'm sorry. You seemed uncomfortable and I wanted to help" he answered, a tint of apology hidden in his voice.

You laughed. "Although I appreciate it, I can handle myself pretty well"

And didn't that turn him on even more?

He extended his hand. "I'm Javier"

You took it, shaking it with a strong grip as you told him your name. He wanted to feel that grip in his dick, but his hand would have to do for now.

You talked for a while, about everything and nothing. You were there with your best friends, didn't go out very much and that was about it. You were pretty good at dancing around subjects that made you reveal anything more than that, and Javi wasn't going to push you. In turn, he told you he was working for "a police force" and had been doing it for a while, but didn't reveal much of him either. 

The tension only grew as time passed, lust clouded your senses the more you talked. Javi had gotten closer to you, your knees brushing together and sending an electric feel through your body. You clenched your knees together, feeling how you got wetter by the second. Javi's voice hit you full force, arousing you to a point you hadn't thought possible to reach without physical contact.

He wasn't much better than you. His dick was throbbing inside his jeans, hard enough to cut diamonds. He never thought something so simple as talking with you would have such an effect on him.

It got to the point where you were sweating from the excitement, not being able to look long to each other without wanting to jump the other. Finally, Javi took your hand, sending a bolt of pleasure all the way up your arm to the rest of your body. You shuddered, letting out a shaky breath as your eyes fluttered.

"Do you want to go?" His raspy voice went straight to your center, and you bit your lip as you nodded.

He immediately stood up, picking up his jacket and dragging you out of the bar towards his Jeep. Once you got there, he had to grab you by the hips and push you up, making your dress ride up higher. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop a groan, moving his legs open to make space for his growing erection. 

He walked to the driver's seat, rounding the car. His face was flushed from desire, and once he was seated inside he realized how difficult it became to breathe once he was at a closed space with you. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel with force. You giggled next to him.

"Come on Javi, drive." your voice was dripping with lust, and he turned to look at you to find you plastered to the door, your legs slightly open towards him.

He inhaled sharply, turning on the engine and drive to his apartment. Suddenly, he felt your hand fall to his knee, making him jump.

"What are you doing honey?" he asked. He could feel pre-come leaking into his boxers as you slowly moved your hand up his thigh, the tip of your fingers grazing the bulge between his legs. His instinct was to close them, but you quickly moved your other hand to keep them open. You bent over him, looking up into his gaze with a mischievous smile playing at your lips. Your legs moved behind you, giving him a perfect view of your ass raised in the air as you were on all fours. 

"Keep your eyes on the road"

He heard his zipper come down more than he felt it, trying to put all his attention on the streets in front of him. He wanted to throw his head back and moan as your palm rubbed him over his clothed cock, wet with his arousal. Your tongue darted out to lick the head over his boxer, making him lose concentration for a moment. The Jeep swayed as he raised his hips into your mouth, seeking more contact.

"Please" he muttered, "do something"

You shook your head, grinning. "You have to wait"

He grumbled, moving the Jeep back on track. He had never been so grateful that the streets were so lonely at night.

You kept mouthing at his cock, your fingers rubbing up and down. He huffed, doing his best to stay calm and not kill both of you before he got what he wanted.

Once he parked outside the apartment complex, he grabbed you by the hair and yanked your head back. He was panting, rock hard inside his boxers, now wet with your saliva. 

"Move"

His voice was commanding, sending a shot of adrenaline through your veins. You grinned at him as you opened the door and crawled back to jump out. 

He let his head fall back, closing his eyes. He closed his pants and his belt, the last thing he wanted was to give the neighbors a show. You were going to kill him and he hadn't even touched you yet.

He opened his door and jumped out, moving fast towards you. Grabbing you by the waist, he practically dragged you to his apartment, pushing you hard against the door to kiss you.

You moaned, his hands gripping your waist so hard it would definitely leave bruises. He nipped at your lower lip, a fierce growl rumbling inside his chest as you tangled your hands in his hair. You rubbed a knee against his crotch, and he grabbed you by the hips to turn you around. His teeth made his way to your neck, biting. You moaned against the door, closing your eyes from the pleasure it sent to your pussy.

He broke away from you for a moment, fumbling with his jacket to get out his keys. Once he got them, he pushed you gently to the side and opened the door.

It wasn't even entirely closed before you jumped into his arms, groans resonating all over the place as he tugged your dress up while walking towards his bedroom. You ripped his shirt open, buttons flying and making a ticking sound as they hit the floor. He didn't care, they could be sewed back any time. You raised your arms as he took the dress off and threw it somewhere close to the couch, hitting the walls as he kept walking without looking where to go.

You fell into his bed with your legs still wrapped around his waist, not letting him go far. He struggled to take the shirt off while still kissing you but managed at the end. You grabbed the side of his head, arching your body to his. He lowered his mouth down to your jaw, biting at the edges. 

"Oh please Javi, please"

He smiled against your skin. With wet kisses, he trailed down to your breasts, mouthing at your right nipple through the bra. You pulled at his hair, letting out a lustful moan. With both his hands, he unclipped it and threw it beside the bed, not glancing to where it fell. 

With a pleased sound, he wrapped his wet lips around your left nipple, sucking hard as he played with the other with his hands. 

You arched off the bed, legs coming down to push you. 

A wet pop echoed through the room as he let you go, bites and kisses tracing down to your covered cunt. You sighed, feeling like jelly.

He came face to face with your underwear, wet with arousal. With a soft lick, he trailed your entire entrance without putting enough pressure to give you relief, only to rile you up more. Your moans flooded his ears as he moved one of his hands and circled your covered clit with his thumb, kissing at your thighs. 

With his other hand, he pulled down gently the garment keeping him from pleasuring you as he wanted. Grabbing your left ankle with a strong grip, he raised your leg to his shoulder and nudged you to move the other one too. You complied, a breathless sound escaping your mouth as he threw that too, leaving you completely exposed. 

Now lying between your legs, he licked you with a long, flat tongue. 

The strangled sound you let out made his dick jump inside his jeans. He loved pleasuring you already, the satisfaction of knowing what he could do to you hitting buttons he didn't even know he had.

Hungry for more, he wrapped his arms around your legs and pulled you closer to his face, burying his mouth into your swollen pussy. Your hands flew to his hair once again, pulling at the strands of silky locks. He growled against you, tongue circling your clit. He could feel you get wetter by the second, almost dripping down his jaw. It only made him more eager, thrusting his tongue inside you. You trashed around the bed, squeezing his head between your thighs.

"Stop" you pleaded. He didn't pay attention to your words and kept going, your legs quivering at his sides. He humped the bed, searching for a bit of pleasure. "Javi stop, stop!"

Drenched in your fluids, he straightened up as you sagged back into the bed. He grinned at you, all flushed and wrecked.

You arched your eyebrow at him. "You're still wearing too many clothes."

He nodded. "And what are you gonna do about it preciosa?" (beautiful)

You shook your head, not saying a word. As you kneeled in front of him, your hands moved to his belt, fumbling with it until it came loose. Then, with skilled fingers, you popped the button of his jeans and pulled them down at the same time with his boxers, down to the middle of his thighs. His erection sprang free, dripping pre-come from the tip. He sucked in a breath, sensitive from all the waiting.

You started with long, slow lips from the base to the top, teasing at the head with your tongue. Your hands touched his abs and his chest, twirling a nipple from time to time. He shuddered at your touch, sending fire that spread through his skin. Wet sounds resounded as you sucked him with force, keeping a slow speed that he never thought would enjoy so much. He moaned, hand coming up to caress your head. He wanted to pull at his but didn't want to hurt you, so he opted for gentle touch instead. You gave a soft moan, locking your eyes with his in a heated look. He bit his lip, jolts of bliss going down his spine. You started rolling his balls in one hand, making him jump at the unexpected but welcomed sensation. He hanged on to the edge of the bed, closing his eyes to calm down. If he didn't stop you, he would lose his shit soon.

He pulled you gently off of him, standing up to take off his pants and boxers completely. You stared at him with hungry eyes, falling back to the bed as you opened your legs slowly for him.

He gulped, flushing at the attention. He was used to it, but coming from you it felt different.

He climbed up into the bed again, trapping you between the bed and his body. You seemed to thrive in it, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him towards you. His dick brushed against your pussy, and your moans mixed together in a perfect symphony.

With practiced skills, he wrapped one arm around your waist and moved his other hand down to his member, pumping it a few times before moving it right at your entrance.

You whined, moving your hips up to make him get inside you. Seeing you so desperate for him shot waves of pleasure through him, and he complied with your wishes.

Slowly, he entered you, giving you time to adjust to his entire girth. He had to clench his teeth and grip at the sheets to stop himself from fucking you right away, but once he bottomed out, a satisfied groan left his lips.

You pulled his head down to kiss him, urging him to move. With lazy moves, he began thrusting into your heat, wanting you to feel every inch of him. You dragged your nails down his back, making him raise his head to moan.

"Faster!"

With desire pumping within his veins, he lifted one of your legs up and began thrusting with more force, your bodies slapping together as his pace increased and growls left his chest, making you wetter.

One of his hands came down to your clit, rubbing it in time with his thrusts. You shouted, grabbing him by the wrist. It felt so good, your mouth opened in a silent scream as waves of pleasure shook your body for the first time that night, an orgasm invading your senses while your walls clenched around Javi.

"God, you feel so fucking good baby," he said through gritted teeth.

Suddenly, he lifted you up by the arms, not letting you finish completely before putting you on all fours. He immediately entered you, increasing your pleasure into aftershocks that turned into another entire orgasm. Like this he was rougher, grabbing you by the hips as he fucked into you with much more force than before. You fell into your face, your arms giving up as whimpers left your lips and his pants and moans clouded your senses. He bent down to grab at your tits, pulling your nipples and nibbling at your neck. His breath was hot behind your ear, and you started thrusting back into him, your ass slapping against his hips with a clapping sound.

You straightened up forcefully, pushing him back into the bed as you turned around and fell into his lap. Surprised by the change of position, he froze as you grabbed his shaft and sat down, enveloping him with your heat. He threw his head back, groaning as he palmed your thighs and you slowly started riding him. Your tits bouncing at your chest called his hands to squeeze them, and you moved your own palms above his.

"Oh God I think I'm gonna come again" you rushed out as your movements became more desperate and you started to lose your rhythm.

He grabbed your hips to keep you up, and you gripped his arms as his hips started thrusting up into you. You let out a piercing scream, squeezing your eyes shut as your mouth fell open. He grunted under you, feet planted at the bed to fuck into you with force. You looked at him pleadingly, eyes wide open. "Please Javier, please"

He decided his name sounded better when it came out of your lips as he made you come.

"Come on sweetheart, come on me"

Jolts spread through your body as you came once more, something close to a seizure happening to your system. He kept fucking you, moaning as you got tighter around him. You let out a disbelieving huff, pleasure leaving you weak as you collapsed on top of him, his arms wrapped around you while his hands pressed your ass down to him.

He could feel himself getting closer, his balls pulling towards himself. He grabbed you and turned you over, accelerating his pace to the point where his headboard was knocking against the wall. He lifted his arm and grabbed at it, whimpering as he got closer and closer. The other hand rubbed at your clit, and you began to shake as the aftershocks of your previous orgasm wracked through your body, your tight heat squeezing him inside. 

"Come Javi," you told him. "Come inside me baby"

This was what finally brought him to the edge, burying his head between your neck as shots of pleasure came in waves all over him, making him spasm on top of you. It was so good he blacked out for a moment, forgetting everything other than your body. He pulsed inside you, relief that he had been waiting for finally arriving.

Still going through the aftershocks, he fell beside you with a wet sound, too fucked out to do anything else. He could feel your body pulsing beside him, sweat covering both of you. He closed his eyes for a moment just as he heard you standing up to walk to the bathroom, chuckling. He let out a content sigh and let you go back to his arms, wrapping one around your waist as your head fell on top of his chest. With a kiss to the top of your head, he drifted off to sleep, tired.

-

The next day, when you weren't there lying beside him in his bed, he tried to tell himself that it was okay, that it hadn't meant anything and he finally could forget about you.

But he couldn't. He wasn't able to. Day after day he went to the bar, tried to pick up a new girl and failed as he kept thinking about your moans, your face, your body. He missed all of you, and the only thing he could do now was hope you would come back at some point.

He would masturbate to the thought of you, remembering the sounds you had made the night he finally made you his. He wondered how were you doing, if you had slept with other men already. He could still faintly identify your smell in his bedsheets and refused to change them until you were there once more.

He lived like that for weeks, going crazy when the possibility of never seeing you again crossed his mind. But he had to, he had to. What you had was the closest thing to Heaven he had ever felt, and he refused to let it go.

And then one night, after so much longing, the sight of your long legs came to view.

His breath caught in his throat as he saw you walk past him. He froze, felt excited and upset and happy all at the same time. It felt like he had been waiting for years.

But after so many days of longing, of thinking about you, your voice and your body and your lips and your eyes and every inch of your skin, you were finally there once more, as if time hadn't passed at all. 

He stood up from his seat and crossed the bar with conviction, determined in not letting you go again. 

He stopped right in front of you, not sure what to say. What do you say to the girl you've thought about for weeks? The one you still can't admit to yourself that meant more than just a hook up? The one that was always on your mind as you touched yourself because you couldn't bring your body to sleep with someone else?

"Hi" he finally said. "It's been a while since I last saw you"

You frowned at him, your eyes confused.

"Excuse me, do I know you?"

The world seemed to crumble around him at your words. Did you know him? Had you forgotten the way he had made you scream? How your body had clenched around him after he made you come multiple times? How you called his name as he fucked you against the bed that had been hitting his wall?

A grip wrapped around his heart and crushed it, leaving him breathless. But he respected himself more than letting the tears form at his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else"

You both knew the words weren't literal, a hidden meaning was lying underneath. But you didn't say anything and shook your head.

"It's okay"

He walked away with pain inside his chest, making it difficult to breathe and keep going. He got out of the bar and bent down with his hands resting on his knees, trying to calm his beating heart. Was he really that easy to forget? To discard?

He knew he was fucked since the first time he saw you, not being able to forget about you must have hinted at him that getting involved with you was not a great idea. It had meant something more than just a hot fuck for him, even if it was hard to admit at first.

He wanted to get to know you, find out about your life and your interests. If you hogged the sheets, how you liked your coffee or if you even liked it at all, how much time you took to get ready, what movies you watched when you were feeling down and which ones made you laugh until you cried, what songs you knew every word to and which songs you hated.

He wanted to figure out why every time you stayed sitting as you watched how everyone was dancing. 

And if he wasn't able to do any of that, then he only wished to love you just one more night, but you acted like you didn't know him

[quintessenceofdust73]

A Respite in Paradise

The Paladins had made camp in one of the lush valleys of Celadon IV, an isolated, uncharted, Earth-like sphere located in the outermost edge of the Milky Way Galaxy. The Lions were nearly drained of all power when they arrived and Keith knew they would need a lengthy solar recharge. He ordered their little caravan to a halt, and suggested that the team take some time for much-needed rest and relaxation. This was one of Keith’s orders that Lance actually agreed with and wholeheartedly obeyed.

Hunk unloaded a barbecue grill from Yellow Lion’s cargo hold as soon as they landed and began rummaging through their meager stores of exotic meats to find something to grill. Coran helped with this and then began an inventory of their other foodstuffs while Shiro and Keith helped Allura and Romelle set up the camp.

After Pidge’s detailed analysis of the plants they had collected, it was determined that the local flora would not do any harm to Kalternecker’s digestive system. When they were sure of that, Lance and Pidge had immediately led the cow to the grassiest area that they could find and laughed at her satisfied “moo” of happiness at the sight of so much green. Once Kalternecker was free of her tether, she bucked with ecstasy and frolicked in the flowery meadow along with Kosmo. Both animals were accompanied by Pidge’s ever-curious blue and green floofs which hovered over the field, silently observing it all. While taking in all the natural beauty around him, Lance had a sudden urge to pull Pidge a bit closer to him. He slipped his right arm casually around her narrow shoulders as he often did, but this time he deliberately held her closer than before. She turned to look up at him questioningly with those huge, intelligent eyes of hers, and Lance suddenly felt his cheeks warm a little. He smiled at her and was surprised at how his heart raced when she smiled back at him. He noticed that several lose tendrils of her hair had escaped from her messy bun, and that there were a few more soft waves that framed her face. She was pale after living inside of a spaceship for so long, and he knew they both had dark circles under their eyes from a lack of proper sleep. The two of them were both still in their battered armor, and both of them were sweaty and tired, but in this peaceful moment Lance could not recall any sight that he had ever seen that was more beautiful than the one before him.

They heard Coran’s voice in the distance, summoning them back to camp. Supper was ready. The smell of Hunk’s cooking never failed to make his mouth water.

Pidge took his hand and ran with him back to camp. It was nearly dusk when they all finally sat down to enjoy the evening meal.

After bestowing Hunk with many well-deserved compliments for the incredible supper he had prepared, the Paladins had all gone to sleep under the stars, and at last spent an entire evening completely undisturbed.

Even before the bright sun of this small green planet was peeking over the horizon, Lance was wide awake. The others slept on as the sun rose, still exhausted from their long journey. He stretched, then rose to his feet, not bothering with putting on his armor. Lance silently gathered up his bayard, a clean change of clothes, a towel, and his grooming kit. Then he hiked down to the nearby stream, relishing his every lungful of the cool morning air. This planet almost smelled like home, and the sound of the clean, running water was like music to his ears after being in the silent vacuum of space for so long. Lance eagerly stripped off his black under suit and then slipped naked into the cool water. He shivered at first, but then realized that his body would soon adjust to the lower temperature. He had entered the stream with his small container of body shampoo on a cord around his neck and an exfoliating scrubber in hand. With a whoop of pure joy, he dispensed a small amount of the concentrated cleanser and then rubbed it into a fragrant lather, scrubbing away the grime that had accumulated on his skin after being in a spacesuit for far too long. It was invigorating! He sang to himself and splashed around in the water with the delight of a child as he rinsed the suds and the grime away. As he lathered shampoo into his hair and ducked under water to rinse it out, he realized how long it had gotten. He hated to admit it, but he had a mullet that was as long as Keith’s had been the night that they rescued Shiro. That was the night he and Hunk had snuck out of the Garrison, following after the mysterious “boy” named Pidge...

A familiar giggle brought him out of his reverie. Eyes wide, Lance sunk down deeper into the water, his back to the nearest bank. “Who’s there?” But he already knew the answer to that, and he really hoped she hadn’t seen anything. Lance bit his lip and blushed at the thought of it. There was another giggle. Pidge! He turned to face her, but she was already scampering away. He saw her hasty retreat, noticing that she was wearing her Garrison backpack over her black under suit and her hair was falling in matted tangles from her now even messier bun.

“We will have to find another spot,” he heard her call to the other two girls. “Lance is down there.”

“Ugh! The last thing I want to see is Pointy Chin without any clothes on,” said Romelle.

“Indeed,” said Allura. “I wouldn’t want to have to look at that either.”

Lance pouted angrily, feeling momentarily hurt.

Then there was that familiar giggle again, and he strained to hear what Pidge was saying.

“I wouldn’t mind,” Pidge admitted. “I actually think he’s pretty cute,” Lance’s mouth fell open once more, his mind whirling. The laughter of all three girls faded into the distance as they searched for a more private place to bathe.

Pidge.

Pidge thought he was cute? He suddenly felt even more self-conscious about his nakedness, and once he was sure the girls were far enough away, he hastily rose up from the water, dried off, and then wrapped the towel around his waist. He set up the shaving mirror from his kit and frowned at what he saw: stubble, a few zits, and a soggy mullet with wet, too-long bangs that dripped water into his eyes. What was Pidge thinking? This was the worst he had ever looked in recent memory. Maybe she was blind without her glasses. He began to panic, searching his kit for his razor and a face mask.

After a quick but careful shave, he rinsed and dried his face, hastily donned a pair of clean blue underpants and tied back his too-long hair. Lance sat upon a large, smooth rock and prepared the ingredients for his favorite face mask. Zits begone! If Pidge liked him as much as he had hoped, he was determined to look his best for her. After slathering the green paste all over his face, he rinsed his hands and relaxed. He laid back upon the now-warm, smooth stone and closed his eyes, allowing the mask to dry in the sun...

When Lance’s mind was nearly awake once more, it was already mid-morning, and the face mask had dried until it cracked. He didn’t want to get up to rinse it off though. He felt lazy, and he enjoyed the sensation of the warm sunlight caressing his (mostly) bare skin. If he just kept his eyes closed he could imagine he was back home in Cuba, laying out in the sun on Varadero Beach, surrounded by beautiful bikini-clad women, or more realistically, with at least one particular pretty girl by his side, bikini-clad or not. His half-awake mind conjured up an image of a pale, petite girl in a modest emerald green bathing suit. Her beautiful long brown hair was wet, as if she had just emerged from the sea. She was gazing on him fondly as he slept in the sun. Paradise, he thought.

In his semiconscious daydream, the cute girl at his side was calling his name.

“Lance?”

“Hmm?” he mumbled.

“Lance, wake up.” The cute girl touched his arm. “You can’t sleep here all day you know. The rest of the team is wondering where you are, but I figured you would still be here, so I came to get you.”

His eyes snapped open, and it took him a moment to process everything. For a moment he thought he actually was on the beach in Cuba, especially when he saw the scantily clad long-haired beauty beside him.

Pidge.

Pidge with her long hair down, still damp from being washed. Not Pidge on the beach in a bikini, but Pidge wearing a green sports bra and a pair of cut-off shorts she had made herself, which was almost as good. He had no idea she was this hot. Smoking hot. Dead sexy. Was he still dreaming? He grinned at her goofily and felt his face mask crack.

Lance’s mind ran through every swear word he knew in English and Spanish, and then all of the alien swear words he knew, and then some he wasn’t sure of, but he didn’t say any of them out loud. Instead, he emitted a high-pitched yelp of surprise when he realized that he was not, in fact, wearing swim trunks and lying on a beach in Cuba, but he was, in fact, lying on a sun-warmed slab of stone on an alien planet wearing nothing but his underpants and a dried up face mask.

“I think you need to wash your face,” Pidge said, hardly able to contain her amusement. He noticed that she didn’t say anything about his lack of trousers.

“Uh, right.” Lance scrambled to the stream again to rinse and dry his face, which felt much smoother and cleaner, and hopefully blemish-free. He heard her behind him, trying to suppress her giggles and not succeeding. She gave up on silencing them and was now laughing hysterically. Lance felt his face burn hotter than the sun.

“What’s so funny?” he asked. Stay cool, he told himself. He got up and turned around, then tried to strike a confident pose.

Pidge laughed so hard that tears rolled down her cheeks. “I don’t know what’s funnier, the face mask or the mullet, or—“ she broke off, wheezing. “Or...the fact—“ She tried to catch her breath. “The fact that...you are standing there, striking a pose like a designer underwear model, pretending this isn’t embarrassing.”

Pidge’s laughter was one of his favorite sounds in the universe, and to him it was always infectious. Lance broke down at that moment and started laughing at himself along with her. He tried to cover himself modestly with his towel as he reached for his blue jeans. Then he turned his back to her and did a very silly butt-wiggling dance as he wriggled into them. Pidge was laughing so hard that she had to gasp for air. When he finally pulled up his jeans and zipped them, he turned to her and gave her his most smoldering look as the breeze ruffled his long hair.

“Now you look like one of the shirtless himbos in the ads for those trashy romance holodramas my mom watches.”

Lance sat down next to her, his sides shaking with laughter at her description of him. “Oh, no! My mom watches that junk too, and they’re the worst. I definitely want a haircut now.”

Pidge was still wiping the tears of mirth from her eyes. “That’s why I’m here. Coran just gave Shiro and Hunk a haircut, but you missed yours, Sleeping Beauty.” She held up Coran’s clippers and a pair of Altean scissors. “And I missed my haircut too, in order to go looking for you.”

“Sleeping Beauty?” He said with a smirk. “Okay, I am going to pretend that isn’t sarcasm. If I’m a Sleeping Beauty, then why didn’t you awaken me with a kiss?” He thought his flirting was going well in spite of how humiliating this day had been for him so far.

Pidge blushed. “Maybe because I’d rather kiss you when you’re awake?” She said this timidly. Flirting wasn’t something she was accustomed to doing.

“You can kiss me anytime you want, whether I’m asleep or awake.” He said this to her earnestly, revealing more of his true feelings for her than he ever thought he could dare to admit. Lance was blushing in spite of himself. So much for being cool and confident.

Pidge looked at him wide eyed, then ducked her head shyly. Lance tipped her chin up gently, then gently caressed her cheek. They were both breathing raggedly as he moved closer to her. But just as he leaned down to kiss her, she pulled away.

“I can’t let you do this,” Pidge was shaking like terrified prey, trapped in a hunter’s snare. She looked ready to flee.

“Pidge? What’s wrong?” Lance reached for her. “Don’t go! Please, just talk to me. I don’t understand why—“

“I can’t be another one of those girls that you flirt with and forget about!” She she choked out. She was sobbing.

“Pidge! I would never—“

“You’re the only one that I have ever felt this way about and—“ She paused to catch a breath. “If you kiss me it has to mean as much to you as it does to me.” She looked at him boldly now, and even though her face was tear-stained, Lance thought she had never looked more beautiful or more courageous.

He was the one who was terrified now, afraid to say or do the wrong thing. He gaped at her in astonishment, stunned into silence.

Pidge waited for him to say something, but he was still just staring at her, trying to process what she was trying to tell him, and trying to figure out what to do next.

Her mind worked at light speed compared to his. She had already come to a conclusion and turned to leave.

“Pidge, wait!” Lance cried. She kept walking.

“Katie!” She did not stop. Lance knew he had to say something or his heart would shatter into a million pieces. There was no way to repair a heart that badly broken.

“Katie Holt, I am in love with you!” He shouted, and his words echoed around the valley. Then there was a frightening silence between them that caused his heart to momentarily stop beating. They might have been on a silent planet if not for the incessant babbling of the uncaring brook behind them.

She stood there, unmoving, but she did not turn to him.

“I love you. I always have. I guess I was waiting for the right time to tell you, and I was also waiting for you to grow up because you’re younger than me, and I guess I also realized I was the one who really needed to mature a lot more before I could be in a real relationship because you’ve always been more mature than me and—“

She turned around. Lance continued to babble more incessantly than the creek. It was if a dam had burst and a torrent of heartfelt words tumbled forth, as unstoppable as a flood.

“You’re the most amazing girl I have ever met in my entire life and you’re my best friend and I love being with you more than anyone else in the whole universe and I don’t just want to kiss you I want to belong to you, now and always. I want to spend a lifetime laughing with you or just listening to you say brilliant things every day or just watching the sunset with you or just being with by your side when you need me or even when you don’t need me, because I need you and I want to be a part of your life forever. I adore you, Katie, and I-“

Pidge stopped his barrage of words the only way she knew how. With all her strength, she leapt into his arms and embraced him. She stopped the flow of words at the source, kissing him fiercely as Lance lowered her gently to the ground.

Lance had been kissed a fair few times in his life, but he had never experienced anything like this. It was like flying, like being struck by lightning. It was like being born, and living, and dying, and being brought back to life again. It was like all of those things, and none of those things. She had poured into that kiss what he had been struggling to say with words that were far too meager to express the infinite.

When they broke apart, Lance just gazed upon her in shock and reverent silence.

“You are the first and only man I have ever loved and will always love. You are in my heart, and if anything bad ever happened to you, a part of me would die. That is how I love you.” She sobbed. “That’s the only way I know how to love you.”

Lance buried his face in her hair, which was soft, fragrant, wild, and very soon damp with his own tears of relief. He held her close and comforted her as she sobbed happy tears against his bare chest.

When they finally regained control of their emotions, he lead her to the stream. They both washed their faces.

“I missed breakfast,” he began. “I hope I didn’t make you miss lunch.” Much to Pidge’s disappointment, Lance pulled on his old blue and white T-shirt.

Pidge opened her backpack. In it there were sandwich rolls, snacks, and cold drinks. “I didn’t know how long it would take to find you, but somehow I knew you would be hungry when I did.” She decided to put on her well worn Galaxy Garrison T-shirt, which was too small for her. Lance grinned, hoping he could hide his expression behind the first bite of his sandwich.

“You think of everything.”

“That’s because I’m brilliant.”

“I am definitely going to marry you when this war is over, you know that, don’t you?”

“You’d better.” There was a beautiful peace between them, like the calm after a storm. “You still need that haircut.”

“I know. Promise me you won’t cut your hair though. It’s beautiful.”

“It’s too long. I can barely fit it under my helmet anymore.”

“I could braid it for you.”

“Really? And what do you actually know about braiding hair?”

“I have sisters. I used to braid Veronica’s hair until she cut it short, and Rachel’s hair is still pretty long, or at least it was last time I saw her...”

They spend the rest of the afternoon reminiscing about home and talking about their hopes for the future.

*****

Kaltenecker came to the stream to drink that afternoon, and Pidge’s floofs hovered nearby, watching their beloved human friend beside the male human she loved most.

The floofs observed their dear little human attempting to give the male human’s head fur a trim. They saw that both of them thought the result was very funny. Their little female human cried at the mistakes she made when trimming head fur, but the floofs knew it would be alright because the tall male human seemed to be pleased with her efforts nonetheless. He rubbed his face against hers many times, as they often did to her. Of course, the floofs knew that this meant that the tall human loves their dear little one, and that she was very happy about it indeed. Clearly, it was some sort of human courtship ritual.

Perhaps they would mate and have little floofs of their own one day.

But that was a story for another time.

[sanguinarysanguinity]

any or all of these from your WIP list: romantic partner worthy of Alfredo (!!!) . Marcus & Lin 221b. Elementary x 22nd Century of course. and I also love every bit of Langstroth I've seen, so more would be lovely.

He met Serena at a Lucille Ball retrospective, during a rooftop mixer the theater hosted to celebrate its first night of showings. Despite the wide mix of ages present — ironic twenty-somethings through white-haired elders who had loved Lucy since they were teenagers — the crowd ran light and white, as it often did at these things. Against that backdrop, she caught Alfredo’s eye immediately: a tall, dark-skinned woman, her hair cropped close to her skull, elegantly dressed in a gold waistcoat and black trousers, standing by herself near the machinery block for the building’s elevator. She was fiddling with her drink with the air of a woman who was second-guessing her choice to stay and mingle. Alfredo took his drink in hand — 7-up with a slice of lime, barely worth the trouble of drinking, but one had to drop a dime on something at the bar — and went to offer to keep her company. When Serena introduced herself, there was a touch of Spanish in her voice: Dominican, as it turned out. Alfredo’s Spanish wasn’t nearly as good as hers, but it was plenty enough to follow her sly teasing about Cubanos and to give back as good as he got.

~

"Soooooo," Joan said, when she had Marcus alone. "You and Lin?"

Marcus glanced up from his paperwork. "Me and Lin what?" He eyed Joan's teasing smile. "Because if she's looking for a place for the game, the back of the police station is out."

Joan blinked, taking a moment to place the reference. "Oh, c'mon, Lin is hardly Nathan Detroit."

"C'mon, yourself. We're got rules about fraternizing with criminals, you know that."

Joan made a dismissive noise. "Andre--"

"--is my brother. Furthermore, he saved my ass when Paula was trying to frame me for murder."

"And Lin's my sister!" Joan pointed out.

"And believe me, while I'd normally be all about asking if you had a sister..." He suggested the fineness of Joan Watson with a glance. She gave him a not-impressed face in return, and he inwardly shrugged.

~

Joan had been at the hotel several days when the communications console in the corner lit up and announced a visitor. She expected it to be Sherlock, frightened and angry about her silence, insistent on bringing her temporary reprieve to an end, and she hauled herself from the bed, trying to drum up the energy to fight him.

It was only the robot. It couldn’t see her -- the image was one-way until she chose to respond -- but its gaze was focused on the camera. A human might have fidgeted while waiting for a response, but it was immovably patient.

Joan glanced around her room, evaluating what tales it might take back to Sherlock, then asked the desk to wait fifteen minutes before sending it up. There wasn’t time for Joan to do much, but then there wasn’t much to be done: in a previous century, she might have made up her face as both armor and ruse, but she had nothing at her disposal beyond hotel toiletries. She straightened away the used tissues that had been accumulating -- she hadn’t had housekeeping in since she arrived -- and remade the bed. Then, exhausted by her short bout of industry, she settled in to wait for the robot’s knock.

“Miss Watson,” the compudroid said when she opened the door. It held its bowler hat in both hands. “Please forgive the intrusion.”

“What does Sherlock want?” she asked, unwilling to sham politeness for the thing.

The robot drew its head back a fraction of an inch. After a moment, it said, “I imagine that Holmes wants what we all want, to know that you are well. Or as well as you can be.”

Joan frowned at it. “Sherlock didn’t send you?”

The robot frowned back. “I inquired after your welfare, which is when I learned that you were not staying at 221B. I thought I would look in on you to see if there was anything you needed.”

Joan blinked. She had the distinct sense that the robot was making allowances for her.

“But,” it continued, “it is obvious that I have intruded, so begging your pardon, Miss Watson, I’ll be on my way.”

“Wait,” Joan said, feeling flat-footed. They looked at each other for a moment, and then Joan stepped back, opening the door for it. “Come in.”

To Joan’s surprise, the compudroid seemed to have no agenda beyond inquiring after her welfare, and when she evaded that question, it moved smoothly into attempting small talk about the weather and the hotel. When that failed to grab her attention, it offered her a rundown of the current status of the case. That nearly held her interest, until the effort to grasp the particulars in a sea of unfamiliar context became too much and she found herself idly watching the traffic again while the robot talked.

When the robot stood to leave, it asked, “May I tell Holmes how you are? I have no wish to compromise your privacy, but he’ll likely know I’ve been here.”

“The scent of the hotel shampoo or something. I’m aware.”

“He does not say, but he has been distracted by worry over you.” When Joan hesitated, the robot added, “You did say that his attention on the case was your foremost concern?”

Joan eyed the robot. “What will you tell him?”

“That you’re as well as can be expected, although one could always wish you were eating.” It cocked an eyebrow at her. “Of course, if I knew that you had eaten something, I wouldn’t need to mention the last.”

Joan looked at it a moment, then burst into laughter. Her startlement was the first spark of something real, something that wasn’t devastating pain, that she had felt in days.

The robot was unfazed. “Speaking as one non-practicing medical professional to another, I am sure you are aware of the value of nutrition as an emotional regulator.”

“You’re attempting to manipulate me.”

“On the contrary, I am merely concerned for your welfare, as I am for Holmes’.” Joan would almost swear she saw a glint in its eye. It was uncanny, how much like flesh its face was. 

She glanced at the communications console. She had very little appetite. “Would you be satisfied to know that I had ordered something, or must you watch me eat it?”

The robot smiled. “I rely on your honor as a Watson.”

[gen-z-student-quotes]

Heres a ton of quotes from my high school

Student 1: “I had a leg up on her but you saw how that turned out…” Student 2: “How did you have a leg up?”


S1: “She knew my great grandpa.” S2: “And how old is he?” S1: “He’s dead.” S2: “Oh…” Student: I thought I just took a human life. S1: “I need one that’ll hold all eight of my children.” S2: “I thought you had like twenty?” S1: “…I killed them.” S1: “Click it real fast!” S2: “NO! Thats illegal in the state of the United States!” Science Teacher: It’s time for Duggie to get frisky. Band Director: “Who has the Kubasa?” Student: “Im a kubasa!” BD: “You’re not a sausage.” Science Teacher: “Third rock from the sun.” S1: “Jupiter…right?” S2: “….NO!” Librarian: Maybe its possessed by satan. BD: Tuba or not tuba. Student: Tuesday is the best day of the week for some unknown reason other than the fact that it’s Tuesday. Science Teacher: My head is very foggy today and the drugs haven’t helped. Don’t quote me on that. Student: “How should parents handle a bad report card?”


Spanish Teacher: “Death.” Student: Aaron, move your penis out of the way. I need to get water. Student: Do I really want to go to medical school or am I subconsciously trying to impress my parents? Thats a secret I don’t even know. Im always having a crisis. XOXO, Family Disappointment S1: “Something fun to hit.” S2: “On.” S1: “That was stupidly smooth and I hate you for it.” Student: “Called the Scuds.” Spanish Teacher: “Hah. This gets worse the more you talk.” Student: I got through middle school via sleep deprivation and self deprecation. Student: I’m high bi and ready to die but I’m single and too focused on getting into a good university to mingle so cross cross applesauce do me a favour and just get lost Student: Im here Im queer and i'm full of existential fear. Student: Im single but I’m too afraid of rejection to mingle. Student: Im not a jellyfish… (quietly) I’m a human. Student: I went to bed at 9:30 last night. I am THRIVING! Student: I don’t know why but I have a weird fear of Catholics. Student: This band is the beginning of a porno I swear. X15 Student: Tea is just leaf juice and its gross. Student: Coffee is just bean juice so- S1: “Whats wrong with murder?” S2: “A lot of things Emilee- Theres a lot of thing wrong with murder.” Student: You called me a ginger yesterday. I will give you gingivitis. Student: “How do you do it?” English Teacher: “Most of us are medicated” S1: *barks and growls* S2: Silence you furry. Science Teacher: “Potassium.” Student: “Bananas” Student: Quit! You got fry dust in my eye! Student: See if your Armor of God protects you now. Science Teacher: I hit 190 pounds and I felt like a toad. Science Teacher: “It was really a cool feeling.” Student: “Was that a pun?” Science Teacher: “…Frosty.” S1: “Moment.” S2: “I’ve been singing that wrong my entire life! I thought it was woman!” S1: *Turning around in rolling chair* “Wait- repeat what you just said.” Student: Why did you draw a burning Elmo? Creative Writing Teacher: “The ‘H’ word” Student: “Hell?” CW Teacher: “nO!” S1: “Who said I ruined the peanut butter sandwich? It is now a cockroach peanut butter sandwich.” S2: “Ewww” S1: “Crunchity munchity.” Student: *while walking out of class* See you all in therapy. Student: *while walking back in* Hello guys, its just your neighborhood disappointment. Science Teacher: “Are you talking to your stomach?” Student: “Yeah..” Science Teacher: “Thats weird.” Student: “What are you dressed up as?” Spanish Teacher: “The bitch that I am.” Student: Im gonna name my kids gonorrhea. No, Crabs Brown. Student: Suck my strap on. Student: Its pronounced DIK DIK! Student: I’m gonna drink lead. Student: Mrs. Bustle, do you know what gonorrhea feels like? Science Teacher: Thats the stupid molecule at work again! Vice Principle: No reason to go outside today. Its cold… rainy….. I don’t want you to get sick. You can go outside during the bonfire. Where it will be cold and rainy! Student: I walk around the house with a non-binary flag on my ass. Student: This tea would taste a lot better if I was on a deserted island. Student: Our generation are the ones who ate tide pods. Natural Selection is coming for us. Student: It all started with Harambe. Student: Its my turn on the brain cell!   Math Teacher: I had no expectations but you still disappointed me. Science Teacher: The cool thing about rocks is that you can throw them at your friends. Animal Care Teacher: Remember! Don’t flush the hamsters! Student: The toothbrush water isn’t the same. Band Director: I will tear out your liver! Student: *In spanish* You’re a whorehey. Student: I’m a complement to have in your life. *Seconds later* Can I jump out the window now? Student: *Walks in the room* I think my phone just shit itself. Student; Half of them were in serious relationships- wait, that makes me sound like a hoe. S1: “It was something you used to be obsessed with.” S2: “Oh…..Depression.” S1: “Are these eyeballs?”


S2: “Uhhh duh.” S1: “Why were they in the microwave?” S2: “I was doing an experiment!”


Student: I WILL beat your ass. Student: I’d probably go out and stand in the middle of the hallway, mocking them. Student while pushing themselves across the floor: Slither slither… *louder* Slither slither.. *louder* I’m a snake. Slither slither SSSssssSShksssks Student: I want to turn my finger nails into potato chips. I want to dip them in hot grease and flavor them barbecue. Student: *In a terrible Russian accent.* Close the door! I don’t want my toes to be turned into popsicles! Vice Principle: Today we are having food…I’m not sure what it is but it’s food. S1: “Ok boomer.”


S2: “I’m not a boomer I’m a Leo!” Student: Are you looking at Reindeer privates? Student: The shit you see at 4am in *Insert Town Name* is very interesting.

- I think it's really cool when you guys send us these 🖕

[purplesurveys]

1059

surveys by lets-make-surveys

1 - When you wake up, do you get up straight away or do you lie around in bed for a while? Lie in bed, even on work days. I work from home, so there’s nothing to prepare or look nice for, anyway. I can stay in bed and just roll out of it and head to my desk at 9 AM to start the day.

2 - Who was the last person you video-called with? Have you done this more often since COVID hit? Video calls make me anxious, so I’ve always turned them down even when it was someone I’m close with who was trying to call, like Angela. The only person I’ve felt comfortable having video calls with was Gab but that obviously hasn’t happened in a while. I think the last people I saw on video was my dad’s family, though I was still shy and asked my mom not to put me in the shot for too long.

3 - How many times a week do you go out for food or drink? Back then I’d do it 2-3 times a week. Then Covid happened and I had to stop; but now that I’m starting to try to put in more effort to take care of myself, I try to bring myself to a coffee shop for me time at least once during weekends.

4 - Do you prefer getting takeaway or actually sitting in a restaurant and eating your meal there? Dine-in. For me ambience is a big part of eating food, and even if I had the once-in-a-lifetime chance of getting to eat the absolute best meal in the whole world, if I’m eating it alone at home I would still feel like shit.

5 - Where’s your favourite place to get takeaway coffee (or whatever your drink of choice is)? Starbucks. We have five joints in the highway I live on alone, so it’s both a personal preference and a I-don’t-really-have-a-choice type of situation haha.

6 - Do you tend to keep your phone on silent, vibrate or loud? It’s on vibrate during work days; then I’ve formed a habit of putting it on Do Not Disturb during weekends or holidays.

7 - If you have pets, when was the last time one of them annoyed you? What happened? Cooper thought my hand was a toy earlier so he was biting on it, and not in a very playful way.

8 - When was the last time you went into a bookshop? Around a week ago when I was buying presents; I needed to get my cousin the mechanical pencils and eraser she wanted for Christmas. I also came across the bookshop that Gab and I would make a habit to visit, but I didn’t go inside as I didn’t know if I was prepared for the memories that would inevitably flood back. I looked through the stuff they had on their windows, though.

9 - What was the last thing you ordered off Amazon? I don’t know if Amazon operates here. But the last thing I got from a local e-commerce app - don’t judge me HAHA - is a phone socket featuring the face of my newest K-drama crush. I placed my order literally 10 minutes ago.

10 - When was the last time you took a dog out for a walk? Is this your own dog or did you borrow someone else’s? Yesterday. Both were my family’s dogs.

11 - What jewellery do you have on at the moment? Not wearing any, haven’t worn any in a while.

12 - Do you have any products in your hair right now? What are they? Just shampoo and conditioner. I never put anything else on it; I don’t really deem hair products other than those two a necessity.

13 - Have you ever used a VPN to access foreign content online? Hahaha no. I’ve wanted to try it out, but I’ve always been paranoid that the NBI would come knocking at my door the moment I install one of those.

14 - Who was the last artist you listened to? Is this someone you’re a fan of? She’s a Korean singer named Cheeze, though she’s honestly unfamiliar to me. The song she contributed for the OST of Start-Up is my absolute favorite in the entire tracklist, and that’s how I knew of her.

15 - What was the last thing you had to drink? I’m at a cafe joint right now and they didn’t have my usual order of caramel macchiato, so I opted for a Spanish latté because it sounded new to me.

16 - When was the last time you cooked something for the first time? Did it work out the way it was supposed to? I made a Monte Cristo sandwich, if that counts as ~cooking; this was about a little more than a monthh ago. It worked out significantly better than I was expecting, given how rubbish I am in the kitchen. I lacked a couple of ingredients, like mustard for the sauce and the right kind of cheese, but I still ended up liking it.

17 - Black cats are considered to be bad luck - is this a superstition that you’ve ever believed in? Not me personally, but I know this is still widely believed in my country. It’s sad, so I approach black cats whenever I can and play with them for a bit.

18 - Would you ever eat blue cheese or do you find the idea of eating mould to be pretty repulsive? It is definitely not my favorite; I’d say 5 times out of 10 I would consume it, and the other 5 I would set it aside. I enjoy it the most in pizzas and as a sauce for chicken wings.

19 - Do you visit the dentist every six months like you should? Is that the standard schedule? Lmao. I only go when I have to.

20 - How old were you when you first used the internet? Was it dial-up or did you have access to proper broadband? I was first exposed to the internet at around the ages of 3 and 4, when my mom would use the dial-up internet to email my dad (he had just started to work abroad). For many years I thought Yahoo Mail was the only website that existed, since that’s all I saw my mom use. Eventually my dad got broadband for the family by the time I was 10, and the first website I ever looked up was YouTube.

21 - Are you old enough to remember using floppy discs? I remember those; I just never had to use them myself.

22 - When was the last time you purchased an actual DVD or CD? Andi gave me a Petals For Armor CD for Christmas, if it counts. Because they’re the most awesome fucking friend. The last DVD I bought myself was probably a Beyoncé's Life Is But A Dream, which was...holy crap, 7 whole years ago.

23 - Do you shave? Which body parts and how often? I do. I shave my underarms every few days, and my legs monthly.

24 - What’s your favourite season, and what are some of your favourite things about that season? We don’t have the usual four seasons we hear about in other countries; we only have wet and dry. Between those two, I definitely like wet more because I love the rain, and I like how cold it can get.

25 - When was the last time you burned yourself? I took a big bite of a lumpiang togue yesterday when it was still piping hot, so it felt like I almost burned my tongue and the roof of my mouth. But since I was a guest at my dad’s family’s house, I couldn’t spit it out.

26 - Have you ever been the victim of a theft or robbery? What was stolen? Did the police ever catch the person who did it? Someone stole my wallet in high school, and I never got it back. It was a small petty thing that the police didn’t need to be involved in, lol. I know my mom’s family got robbed when she was a teenager, though; the worst thing that got stolen was their grand piano :(

27 - What was the last TV show you discovered that you really liked? What was it that got you to watch it in the first place? START UP. I first heard of it from my co-workers who would mention the show here and there; and because I was new to the team and wanted to have something in common with them so that I can break the ice, I figured I should start on the show myself. Ended up getting obsessed with the show and gaining a new Korean crush altogether.

28 - Have you seen any of the live-action Disney remakes? Which one is your favourite? What about your least favourite? No, those have never looked even remotely appealing to me. I never saw the point of recycling movies that already exist and already feel magical by themselves.

29 - Do you have any exciting plans for tomorrow? If not, how are you planning to spend your day? It doesn’t sound exciting on its own, but I’m very much looking forward to be a homebody tomorrow haha. We’ve been with extended family for five days straight and I’m at a café right now for some me time, so tomorrow I can’t wait to just be at home and lounge around.

30 - Would you ever keep a working dog as a pet? Do you think it’s fair to keep dogs like huskies in flats when it’s so different to their natural environments? If the dog is already trained or certified to be a certain kind of working dog, I don’t see the point in keeping them for myself when they could be beneficial for other purposes. The only time I see myself adopting a working dog is if they’re already at the point of retirement and would need a loving home to live out their remaining years.

--

1 - Are you a fan of garlic bread? Do you eat it on its own or as part of a bigger meal? Love garlic bread; I regularly have it with my pasta and occasionally, pizza.

2 - When was the last time your area was under some kind of weather warning? Did it end up being as bad as predicted? Last month, during Typhoon Rolly. Other cities had worse experiences, but it also wasn’t sunshine and rainbows on our end. We had a blackout for around two days and I had to file for an emergency leave four days into my new job, which was super embarrassing. It didn’t flood in our street but the water was high in other areas in our village, so we couldn’t go out for a while.

3 - Do you ever buy things from charity/thrift shops? What was the last thing you bought from there? I don’t recall ever buying anything from either.

4 - The last time you got fast food, did you eat in, takeaway or go through the drive-thru? My last fast food wasssssss Jollibee, and my parents got it for takeout so that we could eat as a family at home.

5 - If you have multiple pets, do they get along with each other? Hahaha no they don’t. It’s been six months since we got Cooper but the two still don’t get along, unless it’s Kimi trying to hump him. It’s understandable; Cooper is a vibrant pup that’s super excited and play bites all the time, and on the other side is a nearly 13 year old, nearly blind, can’t-smell-as-well-as-he-used-to senior dog; and I get that Kimi’s more sensitive to sudden movements now.

6 - Do you ever buy things off eBay? If you do, do you participate in auctions or do you just use the “buy it now” option? I never go on eBay. And since I’ve never checked it out, I never understood the gimmick of the website.

7 - When you go out, do you worry that you’ve forgotten to lock the door or turn something off? Yeah, this is especially the case with locking the front door.

8 - What fruits and vegetables have you eaten so far today? Do you tend to get your “five a day”? I didn’t know five a day is a thing of some sort; but it’s only 8:47 AM and I haven’t eaten anything at all yet today.

9 - When was the last time you were in pain? What caused it and did you manage to get it sorted in the end? Last night when my back was giving me hell. As for the cause...idk, years of bad posture maybe? I was able to deal with it for a bit with the new massage pillow that my dad got for Christmas.

10 - Do you live in an area that gets lots of snow? Do you like it? If not, would you like to live somewhere that gets that cold? I would love to move somewhere that’s generally more cold. Humidity gets exhausting to deal with.

11 - What was the reason for your last doctor/hospital visit? My fever had already been lasting for a week and wasn’t showing signs of going away. No Covid symptoms, just pure hellish fever.

12 - If someone had told you that 2020 would see a global pandemic, countries going into lockdown, compulsory face masks and millions of deaths, would you have ever believed that you’d live through something like that? My personal biggest surprise for 2020 wasn’t even the pandemic. I would have had a more violent reaction if I was told I would no longer be in a relationship and be barely talking to my then-girlfriend of six years by the end of 2020.

13 - Do you prefer having the blinds/curtains open or closed when you’re at home? Does it depend on the weather or the time of day? Always closed. I don’t ever voluntarily open the curtains or windows to let the sunshine in.

14 - Do you use an ad-blocker on your computer or phone? Why/why not? I use one on my laptop because the ones on YouTube can be extremely annoying. I didn’t know it was possible to put on ad blockers on phones (is it?).

15 - Do you still use a paper diary/planner to organise your appointments and schedules? No, but I’m thinking of getting a planner again for 2021. I used to get a Starbucks planner every year just because I wanted to get into their Christmas promo hype, but I never completed any of them. Now that I’m working and am busier all around, I see the bigger need for a planner. These days, I use a Google extension called Momentum to list down my to-do tasks. My parents also got me a corkboard for Christmas on which I stick notepads with things I have to do for the day.

16 - When was the last time you charged one of your electronic items? Do you have to charge that specific item often? I’m charging my laptop now. At this point it’s always plugged in because I want to keep the cycle count low, though I’m not sure if it’s the healthiest thing to do.

17 - Have you ever thrown or broken something in a temper? Yes, definitely. I’m not normally aggressive when angry, but sometimes it happens.

18 - What does your outfit look like today? Did you pick it out for a special reason? I have on a black sundress that I didn’t change out of. I wore it yesterday when I went to a coffee shop to spend some time on my own.

19 - Do you follow any vlogs or podcasts? What is it about them that interests you? I do follow certain channels who do vlogs, but I never tune into them since most of them have gotten a little uninteresting. I’m also subscribed to several podcasts like Andi’s and Renee Young’s, but I’m not always in a podcast mood; I subscribe because I want to support them.

20 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you spend the most time on? Do you go through phases of visiting certain websites? I visit Twitter and YouTube the most often. I will binge Reddit every now and then, and I will get into a Wikipedia black hole at least once a week.

21 - Do you have a good relationship with your siblings? If you don’t have siblings, what about your cousins or extended family? I do not maintain a relationship with my brother after he physically assaulted me last year. My sister and I are on good terms, but we’re not close in that I can cry to her or that we know each other’s secrets. We have a very good casual relationship, and we never argue.

22 - When was the last time you were up early enough to see the sunrise? I hate the sun so I don’t really do that lol.

23 - What movie series did you last watch from start to finish? Was it one you’d seen before? I only ever do this with Twilight. I have my annual Twilight Saga marathon where I watch all five films in one afternoon hahaha.

24 - Do you still enjoy watching children’s TV programmes? What was the last one you watched? Yeah, but only the ones I watched as a kid. My cousins and I watched the Wet Painters episode of Spongebob last Christmas Eve right after we finished Midsommar.

25 - Who was the last person to tag you in something on social media? How do you know that person? I have no idea. I’ve been going in and out of deactivation, so at this point I’m sure people no longer have any clue if I’m on a certain social media website or not.

26 - What was the last thing you took a photograph of? It was a screenshot of something I wanted to show Angela.

27 - Are you a fan of giving animals human names? Sure. I certainly find it funny when pets are given incredibly ordinary human names, like Bob or Mark.

28 - When was the last time you weighed yourself? Were you happy with what the scale said? Christmas Eve eve, when I saw a weighing scale in my cousin’s room. I mean it’s what I’ve weighed for the last 5 years or so, so I have no complaints.

29 - How often do you buy yourself new clothes? What was the last clothing item you bought for yourself? Used to be a few times every month, but I have not bought anything new since before the pandemic. The last items I got were still the tops with puffed sleeves that I bought in March.

30 - What is the reason behind your mood today? Is this something you could have done something about? I’m mostly at ease; a little anxious because work continues for a certain headache of a client even though we told them our office would be on shutdown; and a little melancholic for no reason. I’m trying to combat the latter by doing my embroidery and it’s kind of helping, but the sads are still lingering.