#i knew she'd think that but it still hurt so badly to hear her say it

[milkyspine]

[barcaatthemoon]

serial heartbreaker || leila ouhabi x reader ||

leila comes back to barcelona after you figure out that she cheated on you in manchester.

it became obvious that something was up whenever your teammates started acting weird around you. alexia and mapi were the first, but ona, pina, and claudia quickly followed suit. ona began to outright avoid you, which hurt pretty badly. almost as badly as whenever you finally realized what was going on.

you sat with your suspicions for several weeks before they were officially confirmed. leila was careful, but she got sloppy. it was in the back of someone else's instagram stories. your eyes had zeroed in on your girlfriend making out with another girl in the background of a video that one of her teammates had shot.

it was hard not letting on that you knew anything, but you weren't nearly as good at it as you thought you were. alexia could see that you were hurting, as could more of your more perceptive teammates. the one who had shocked you was lucy, who had snapped at leila whenever she came back to spain for a visit, claiming to have missed you dearly.

"get the fuck out of here," lucy had practically growled at leila. the woman had planned on surprising you, and at lucy ruining that, leila got pissed. the two of them were at each other's throats, and it took mapi and alexia leading leila away for things to calm down a bit. you couldn't hear them at first, but soon the hallway was full of your two barcelona teammates yelling at leila in spanish. "are you okay?"

"yeah, i'm fine," you answered quietly. lucy kneeled down next to you and put her hand around your shoulders. "how long have you guys known?"

"ona told me about it a few months ago. i didn't want to have to be the one to tell you. i'm sorry for not mentioning it earlier," lucy said. you nodded as you pulled her into a hug.

"it's okay. i probably wouldn't have believed you for a while. i couldn't, leila promised she'd never do something like this," you said. lucy understood how you felt. ona had been livid with the other spanish player whenever she had found out, to the point where lucy was certain they hadn't spoken to each other since. "when do you think they'll be done? i do have to talk to leila at some point."

"just tell her to get the fuck out of here, please? i know that she means a lot to you, but you can't go back to her. ona said it herself, leila will do it again," lucy pleaded with you. if it had been anybody else, you probably would have ignored the warnings, but lucy didn't like to get involved with people's lives like this.

"i'll try to," you promised. lucy pressed a kiss to your head before she helped you up to your feet. the two of you walked over to where alexia and mapi were still tearing into leila, who looked both ashamed and angry. lucy pulled your teammates away to give you some privacy with leila.

"amor," leila started. she moved towards you, but you held your hand up to keep her away from you. "please, let me explain."

"there's nothing to explain, leila. you cheated on me, it is that simple. you can blame the distance, your loneliness, the fact that you're just so affectionate. you can say anything that you want, but that doesn't change the fact that you cheated on me," you told her. "so go ahead and explain yourself because i'd love to hear whatever bullshit you've been telling yourself, but once you're done, i want you to answer all my questions."

"i missed you, and i was angry because i told you not to come with me. you offered to come to manchester, but i told you to stay here instead. i was all alone, and it was my fault, so i took it upon myself to be less lonely. it was just hook ups at first, i swear, and then there was this girl on the training staff. we hit it off, things are going great, but she's not you," leila said. all her words did was fill you with rage. she had confirmed that this had been going on for a lot longer than you knew, and worse than that, she was still with one of the girls she had cheated with.

"get the fuck out of here. if i never see you again, it'll still be too fucking soon." you turned on your heels and walked right out of the room. leila tried to chase after you, but lucy was right there to stop her. you walked into the locker room and went straight to your locker, beginning to pack up your things to go home.

"(y/n), are you okay?" mapi asked as she sat down next to you. you weren't crying, it was far past that, but you were obviously pissed. you didn't mean to direct it at mapi, but the glare you gave her had the woman backing away from you instantly. unfortunately for you, alexia wasn't as easily scared by you.

"i'm sorry that we didn't do something before," alexia said as she pulled you into a hug. her embrace was tight and comforting, but you didn't let yourself relax. most of the girls looked away, but you could see ona standing across the room looking at you longingly. she had been avoiding you for months, and it killed her to not be by your side as your best friend.

"come here oni," you told her. she raced over towards you, both of you dissolving into fits of tears as soon as you were in each other's arms. her apologies were scrambled in between sobs and spanglish, but you knew that she meant it. still, a part of you couldn't forgive her for what happened. she had known since the beginning that leila had cheated on you, but she hadn't said anything to you.

"do you need a ride home?" alexia asked once you and ona had calmed down a little. you nodded as you picked up your bag. the team didn't miss the way that you ignored ona as she said goodbye to you. the anger you felt for leila was starting to spread around the team, and if it wasn't for the fact that you needed alexia for support, you'd probably shut her out too. "it's not an excuse, but none of us knew how to tell you about leila. you seemed so happy, and i knew she'd do this when she started talking about switching teams. i didn't think it'd get so out of hand."

"were you listening to us?" you asked. alexia nodded her head as she started driving. you knew that she wasn't taking you back to your apartment. "did you know it was with so many girls?"

"no, it's never been that many before," alexia muttered. you could see that she wasn't just angry. "you were supposed to be different for her. i believed in her not to do this again. i'm sorry, if there's anybody you should be mad at, it's me, not ona. i'm the one who knew about this pattern. don't ruin a friendship with someone who doesn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire."

"it's hard right now. all i can think about is that she knew," you admitted. alexia sighed as she squeezed your hand. "i could have done the same thing to leila, but i didn't. why did she have to do that to me?"

"sometimes, she's careless about things that she shouldn't be. she was careless with your trust. it's hard, but try not to think about her. don't give her a second thought, because eventually, the pain will subside along with your feelings for her," alexia said. you tilted your head to the side as you realized that she was speaking from experience. "do you want to be alone right now or can i come inside too?"

"don't you have practice?" you questioned. alexia shrugged.

"not if you need a shoulder to cry on," she told you. "let me know what you need, and i'll do my best to get it for you."

"i want you to come with me, and maybe, when practice is over, we can call ona," you told her. alexia nodded as she got out of the car. she got your bag for you, and for a moment, it reminded you of the way that leila had been with you in the beginning of your relationship. the only difference was that alexia didn't look at you like leila did, as if she knew that you were already head over heels for her.

[sixxteenbullets]

for the johnny cade smut, it can be just an "i was worried about you" and kind of caring smut, the sex being rough but with praise? sorry if this doesn't make sense!

I WAS WORRIED

PAIRING- JOHNNY CADE X FEM!READER

WARNINGS- MENTIONS OF MURDER, P IN V, LOVING SMUT, WRITTEN BADLY

Smut starts at paragraph 14

Hearing that your boyfriend had gotten into trouble wasn't nice to hear. Especially when it involved a murder in self defence of a well known Soc boy. When Y/n heard about it, she felt many different things. The first was shock, then anger at how someone could try and hurt her baby, and then sadness because he had to go into hiding to avoid the mess.

That's what brought her to her current situation, demanding that Dallas Winston take her to him. "No, with that big mouth of yours, everybody would know."

That was absolute bullshit, they both knew it. Sure, she likes to gossip, but never at the stakes of her friends, definitely not at the stake of her lover. "Yes! Now get in this car and take me to see Johnny!"

He stood still for a moment, eyes narrowed, jaw clenching and unclenching. She grew nervous, but only for a moment before he scoffed and got into the driver's seat. As much as he didn't want to take the chance of his best friend getting caught, he knew Y/n was a good girl. She'd never rat. Plus, it would keep Johnny's mouth shut about her for a minute.

They didn't speak throughout the whole ride. There was nothing to say. Y/n wasn't shy about showing her anxiety through the tapping of a foot or the silent mumble from her lips as she thought about all of the things that could go wrong. While Dallas tried to hide what he was feeling, he didn't do it well. He touched his face too much, looked away from the road too much. He was stressed and it was clear to her, but they said nothing to comfort each other.

As soon as the thunderbird was parked in front of an old church, Y/n was off. Dallas only shook his head as he watched her run straight into the building and give the two of them a near heart attack. Ponyboy, once he realised who she was, just gave a soft smile and breathed in relief. Johnny on the other hand, wasted no time jumping up to pull her into him. There were no words to describe how refreshing it was for the boys to see a new face.

The two held each other for a while, ignoring Dallas and Ponyboy's teases and laughs. She was the one who broke the hug, much to his dismay, and headed over to the other criminal to give him a hug. He gladly accepted it and even showed disappointment when she ended it. She understood though, going so long without any sort of comforting affection like that must have been brutal.

After the tension of the arrival proved short-lived, the four all began conversing in whatever they could think of. This went on until Dallas abruptly stood up and had Ponyboy take him outside to their food supply as he was getting hungry.

When the two boys were gone, Johnny and Y/n sat in a comforting silence, eyes moving between contact and lips. There was an unspoken thought lingering between them, something that neither of them had built up the courage to say. It wasn't until she acted on an impulse and smashed her lips into his did he realise that she was very real and very much there. This was happening.

The kiss was filled with so much hunger and passion that he felt light headed. The love which was ignited between them was so foreign to him. She gave him everything she had and more. Johnny Cade was only eighteen years old, as was she, and his life was at risk. He could be thrown into prison, killed for revenge, or be driven mad by the constant danger he was in. That was too real. More than their love or their kiss. More than the hand that slid down his torso, and more than his actions of pulling away from her. "Not here,"

Y/n's only thoughts as she was being taken to a loft in the back of the abandoned church was how she was going to show her boyfriend how much she cared for him.

Johnny was laying on his back in no time, his girl slowly pressing kisses all over his face. Every one of them brought him happiness. At one point she stopped, pressing one last kiss to his jaw before she met his eyes again. Her legs moved to straddle his hips and her hands held his face. "I was so worried about you," she breathed. "So worried."

"Let me make it up to you." These words surprised both of them. She didn't think he would be so forward, and he thought the exact same thing.

In one swift, careful motion, he was on top. His hand was behind her head and his lips were on her neck. She closed her eyes and took in his warmth. Her lips parted in silent ecstasy as his hand roamed down her side, pulling her shirt up to be even with her waist. That was his next portrait. Kisses were trailed down her middle, stopping just above her pants before he pulled away.

A pathetic complaint left her mouth incoherently, but it was short lived as she saw his hands trail to his hips. She followed in suit by removing her shirt and her own pants. The look in his eyes was unreadable before it changed to hunger. Something that she's never seen before. And, fuck, was it hot.

Their lips met again and his hips grinded down into hers, creating a shameless moan from both of them. But he didn't stop there, every bit of contact made only encouraged the dirty passion.

It was his turn to pull away from her then, meet her eyes and speak so softly that she could hardly hear him. "Are you sure? Are you ready?"

"I want you." That was all he needed to hear before he tore away her underwear and lined up with her entrance. The anticipation got to her and made her close her eyes, preparing for what was about to come.

Seeing this, he pressed his forehead to hers. "I love you."

Every inch of him that was thrust into her was savored by each of them. Every inch of skin that they could think of was flooded with warmth. Her leg swung up over his hip, his hand gripping her thigh, moving up slowly to wrap around her waist and keep her impossibly close to him.

A tear of pure euphoria slipped down one of their faces, they didn't know which of them was crying but the salty taste that joined their lips confirmed that it was happening. Whatever discomfort there was for either lover couldn't even be remotely matched by the amount of love and pleasure they were engulfed in.

It was nearly impossible to keep quiet. Dallas and Ponyboy were not far from them, just outside the church. They could hear so easily. The risk, however, was not very present in their minds. Many other thoughts were taking over. For example, how fucking good they both felt.

His hips grinded into hers at a quick pace, pelvis hitting her clit with every motion. Her back arched and her torso met his. The arm that wasn't wrapped around her was used to slide down her arm as their fingers intertwined. Light, feathery kisses were pressed against her breasts.

She spoke in slow, breathy words. "You're so. . . Good."

For a brief moment, Y/n opened her eyes to look at Johnny. His face was twisted into an expression that could only be described as heavenly. A small, emotional smile graced her lips as she let her eyes close once more.

"You're beautiful." He was so quiet. His face hurried into her neck, mouth opened as he neared his high. The hot breath on her neck was something she never thought she'd enjoy so much. There was a tightness that grew in her core, then, building up so much that she struggled to keep from crying out.

As if nature was on their side that day, they reached their climax together. A fire ignited between them and spread through their most connected points all the way to the tips of their fingers, still laced together tight. The intimacy was crushing them in the most pleasurable way.

Her empty hand went to tangle in his hair, gripping tight. The arm that he had wrapped around her middle moved downward so that his hand could squeeze the fat of her ass.

He had pulled out and released on the ground between her thighs. There wasn't much time to allow his body to calm down before his attention was back on the girl in front of him. Her eyes were still closed as she attempted to calm down from her own high. He crawled back up beside her and laid down. She was quickly pulled into an embrace, neither party caring about how sweaty the other was.

"You're coming back again next week." It wasn't much of a question as it was a statement.

She breathed a laugh and nodded against his chest. "Yeah, I am."

______

UGHHHH. RAHH. I'm sorry but I suck at smut lol. I'm not much of a johnny girl, nor a smut girl, so I'm sorry this isn't as good as it could have been.

@thesunmeltedthegrayaway on the other hand, has some really good works on johnny!

[ssparksflyy]

my tears ricochet but its jason grace and his 'lover' that he cant be bothered to give attention to

"even on my worst day, did i deserve, babe all the hell you gave me? 'cause i loved you, i swear i loved you 'til my dying day" but its his lover knowing she wasnt perfect, but also knew she didnt deserve the way he treated her.

"i didn't have it in myself to go with grace and you're the hero flying around, saving face" but its his lover watching him be everybody else's hero and prioritizing people he hardly knew.

"and if i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? cursing my name, wishing i stayed" but its his lover watching him at her funeral from elysium and seeing how pathetic he's acting, saying he misses her, as if he didnt once tell her in an argument she was the last thing on his mind at the time.

"you know i didn't want to have to haunt you but what a ghostly scene, you wear the same jewels that i gave you as you bury me" but it's the way he can't think of anything else but her, no matter how hard he tries, after she's gone. but it's the way that he had the audacity to wear the necklace he gave her when they started dating to the funeral.

"'cause when i'd fight, you used to tell me i was brave" but its their 'honeymoon phase' where he used to treat her as if she was the only person he'd ever care for.

"and i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want, just not home" but it's the way he infiltrated her home that once adored her and made it all about him. the way camp half blood was once the only real home she ever knew, but now it wasn't. the way that jason once served as a home to her, only for a very short amount of time, but she was incapable of reaching that home as well.

"and you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones" but it's the way that he now realizes and regrets how much and badly he hurt her. the way she'll forever haunt him. the way he refuses to ever forgive himself and knows that apart of him died in shame that day.

"and i still talk to you (when i'm screaming at the sky)" but it's the way that when she was alive, his lover would beg all the gods for a way out. the way she wouldn't allow herself to leave but begged for the strength to continue fighting for his love that simply was no longer there.

"and when you can't sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)" but its the way that jason can't stop replaying the one video he has of her singing by the campfire and the way he can't fall asleep without listening to it.

"you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same" but it's the way that jason could've saved her from dying, but chose to help another camper in need, thinking you'd just get hurt and would heal eventually. the way that decision is the reason why he can't get out of bed in the morning, the way that decision is what causes him to lose himself.

"you turned into your worst fears" but its the way that jason realizes that he's no better than his father, the man he hates most, for being so careless and heartless when it came to somebody who loved and adored him in a way nobody else could.

"look at how my tears ricochet" but it's jason grace and his lover who both lost themselves for each other, but at different times. one of those times, being far too late.

his lover died in battle against an invasion of monsters in the woods of camp half blood. jason saw her just minutes before she passed, knowing he couldve helped her, but instead decided to help the camper who was only a year younger than her and who's name he didnt know. he figured she'd be fine and accepted the fact she'd get hurt, but knew she would heal later. years later, he's still killing himself from within for being unable to answer the question, if he knew it all then, would he do it again?

[k4ulitzs]

can u do one where reader invited tom around to her house and she excuses herself to get some water and her mum comes in and starts talking about how he is not the man for her, but neither of them knew tom followed her and was listening? Ending with fluff? Ty

perfect ~ tom kaulitz

little bit of angst, fluff.

thank u sm for this req anon, much appreciated !!

Knock knock. My head shoots up from my phone, an ear to ear smile forming on my face as I knew who was knocking - my boyfriend tom who I had invited over. Just as I was about to stand up, my mum pokes her head through the kitchen door.

"who's that?" she asks, her eyes squinting. "don't worry, it's just tom. I'll get it." I sighed, reading the uneasy look on her face. My mum has to be the most judging person I know, and of course, she has not yet properly met my boyfriend, but just by the way she was looking at me, I could read her like a book. I stood up, not caring about her thoughts on him. I love him, and wether she did or not, it would never change how I felt.

"mum, can you please keep your opinions to yourself for now? I don't want you unloading on him. He's nervous enough, he doesn't need you piling on." I state, making it clear I didn't want her harsh opinions making tom feel hurt in anyway. After all, tom was a very soft person, so an opinion as unaccommodating as my mums would definitely hurt him.

She raised both her hands. "fine, fine." she sighed, disappearing back into the kitchen. I roll my eyes, knowing my mum, even though I had warned her, she would probably still say something. I walked towards the door and opened it, smiling once I saw his beautiful face.

"hey baby." he smiled, lowering his head with a blush forming on his cheeks. I could tell he was nervous. And though he wasn't actually in a 'meeting the parents' situation, I could still tell he was unsure about coming here. After all, the previous encounter he had with my mum did not go so well, her throwing disguised insults his way all the time.

"hey love, come on in. Let's just go straight to my room, okay?" I say in reassurance, helping him realise we can avoid my mum. He slowly nods, seeing me holding my hand out, he takes it and let's me guide him in.

I quickly take him to my room, avoiding my mums presence as much as possible. I close my door behind me, and sit on the bed with him. I take a movie dvd out my drawer, and put it into my tv, watching the movie begin. he took my hand and pulled me closer, wrapping an arm around my waist and laying my head on his chest, his hand rubbing small circles on my waist as we both felt warm, watching the movie in eachothers embrace.

After the movie finished, i turned my head a little, seeing that tom had fallen asleep. Small breaths emitting from his parted lips, his arms wrapped around me comfortingly, his head resting close to my chest. I couldn't help but admire him right now.

I felt pretty thirsty, so somehow I had to go to the kitchen without waking tom up. I manoeuvred my way out of his hold as gently as I could and, somehow, I managed to without waking him up. Or so I thought.

I made my way into the kitchen, seeing my mum cooking dinner. I ignored her, because I knew if any conversation were to start, she'd somehow bring up her disliking for tom into it, so i stayed quiet. Grabbing a glass, I poured some water into it. Yet even my attempts to avoid any sort of talking with her, were not enough. "I'm telling you, he is not the one. You are blinded by his pretty looks, but does he even really lo-" I quickly cut off my mums words with my own.

"mum, can you please stop? I'm not blinded by shit, leave him the fuck alone. Can't you and me have a normal conversation without you finding a way to bring up how horrible you think he is?" I argue, not at all in the mood to hear her talking badly about him, again.

I just wish she knew what went on behind closed doors. In all, he was a genuine sweetheart and cared about me. She had no idea, and the reason being, because she had probably scared him with her quick assumptions, so now if he tried putting effort in, he would be worried it wouldn't be enough to please her, and in the end, all he wanted to do was make a good impression. However, my mum never gave him the chance.

"im never wrong, and I'm warning you here and now, he doesn't love you. He seems like the kind of man to take advantage of you. Why can't you just listen to me? I'm trying to protect you!" she argues back, but I didn't care, I was not going to let her insult him for no reason.

"what?! He would never take advantage of me, are you hearing yourself?! You have no idea what he is like because you were too quick to judge him. You've probably scared him off! You aren't trying to protect me, so don't feed me that bullshit." I scoff, my tone getting louder by the second.

Her mouth opened to say something more, but her speech was interrupted by a sigh that came from outside the kitchen. Shit.

I open my bedroom door, seeing tom lay there, his tongue playing with his lip ring, I could tell he was uneasy. "baby...? How much of it did you hear?" I sigh, disappointed in myself for letting all this pressure get to him.

His eyes flickered to me, "all of it, I got up after you left the room." he softly groaned. He suddenly sits up, speaking once more. "this is too much. I don't wanna sound rude baby I promise, but your mum is too much." he softly sighed, rubbing his temples.

"oh love..." I exhale, making my way over to him and sitting beside him. I take his hand, and hold it with both of mine, holding it just under my chin and giving it a few kisses, leaving him smiling. "I know how she can be, trust me. But just because she doesn't like you, doesn't mean I don't. I love you." I say the last part slowly, hoping it registers. But after his puzzled look and his silence, I immediately regret speaking.

"oh...! I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sa-" my words are cut off by his free hand cupping my cheek, and kissing me, the kiss so clearly full of love that we can feel eachother smiling. His tongue lightly grazes my bottom lip, laying one last soft kiss on my lips before pulling back and resting our foreheads on eachothers. "I love you more, schatz." he kisses my nose, sighing contently after he spoke.

I smile widely, and kiss his cheek. "and don't worry about my mum. I want you and only you, you're perfect." I whisper, before he has a wide grin spreading across his face, pulling me close and pressing his lips onto mine.

~

Send anything in <3

[cookiesupplier]

Hell Ain't So Bad - Part Twenty-One

pairing: Noah Sebastian x ofc (Ellie)

warnings/tropes: slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of torture, thoughts of religious ideology, minor violence, swearing, cheating.

summary: Ellie was lost in the world, homeless with no idea what to do and nowhere to go.. Who would have thought that one day, she’d end up working in hell itself.. And what does this even mean?

author’s note: Unbetaed, readers beware. Only one part left after this of Hell Ain't So Bad, and then we start A Friend Down In Hell

tags: @spicywhenspeaking @bngurngheart @cncohshit @valiantroeagleangel @blackveilomens @dominuslunae @tearfallpixie @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @notingridslurkaccount @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @jilliemiw86 @emmmm127 @laurpartyprogram

“Noah.”

Looking up at him, her breath caught in her throat, Ellie felt frozen in place.

“Ellie.”

Not BabyGirl. She remembered she’d shut him down for that. He hadn’t called her that since, not even in the messages. She’d noticed. Her heart and her head screamed two very different things, and do not ask her which one was saying which right now because for the life of her, she couldn’t tell you. One wanted to throw herself at him, right into his arms, wrap her own around him and never let go. The other wanted her to slam the door right in his face, his tired, drawn face. And he did look it, so tired, he looked a mess. Noah’s dark eyes looked dull, weary, whether of her, and of whether she’d bother to give him the time of day, or something else he’d been dealing with, she didn’t know. His hair hung limp around his face, and there were shadows forming under his eyes. This was not the Noah she knew. In a blink he could change his appearance, she knew that, but this was a Noah that didn’t seem to care. That didn’t seem to be fussed over anything, and it hurt some to see him like this. To see him beaten.

Why did it hurt? There was a part of her that was still so angry at him. How dare he make her feel like this. How dare he look at her with those eyes and make her want to crumble in her arms and beg his forgiveness for ignoring him, for sending him away, and she’d done nothing wrong!

Steeling herself, Ellie took in a deep breath as she looked up at him, with the state of him, she was almost surprised he was standing right now. He looked dead on his feet. Was he sleeping? None of the others had said anything about him doing this badly, but then again, she had refused to hear anything about him, refused to talk about him at all if she could help it. So how would they have been able to tell her anything? How would they have been able to tell her they were concerned about him or not?

“May I come in?”

He asked, his voice rough, and not in the roughness that told her she was going to be in for a wild night, wicked that would have her voice hoarse from delicious screams by morning. Still, Ellie blinked slowly and nodded slightly, accepting, he asked, he asked instead of demanding, for that she could give him time.

“I’ll make you a cup of tea.”

Offering without thinking, because, honestly, it sounded like he needed one. He sounded wrecked, and, if he was there to talk and not to knock her off. Hey, she was already dead, what more could he do to her, right? Aside from dragging her to a punishment realm, and Nicholas had already assured her she wasn’t assigned to one, then, the least she could do was make him a cup of damn tea while they talked. Find out what he had to say for himself.

Stepping aside, she let him pass her by and come into her apartment. The whole place was so very different from that first night he’d brought her home, that first night she’d drunkenly tried, and failed, to seduce him at the time. It had gone from just being a place where she just slept her nights away, considering she'd barely arrived back then, and now, this was her home. Noah had spent many a night with her here if she was honest, and yet right then, as he walked in, the way he looked, he just seemed, adrift, and it hurt her heart even more than she missed him. Less than two weeks ago, it had felt like he belonged here, about as much as the stupid fake plant Jolly had given her when all the boys had realised how easily she kept killing the ones they’d kept replacing for her housewarming present. Sure, she might keep a cactus alive, but this was one prettier! It had bright flowers, she loved the flowers.

Standing in her kitchen, she watched as he moved to sit on one of the stools at her breakfast bar, swallowing as she set the kettle to boil and prepared Noah some tea. It was Mama Ruffilo’s special blend, she made it herself. He was silent as he waited, just watching her while she moved around the kitchen until she set the cup in front of him lightly and moved to sit across from him with her own cup of tea. As he took a sip, sighing as she looked at him. Swallowing as her hands curved around her mug, trying not to think about how formal this felt now that they were sitting across from each other. Those dark eyes looked right into her like they always did though, a shiver running down her spine.

“Do you have any idea how much I have tried to beg to get this tea out of Mama Ruffilo?”

Ellie smiled slightly at the question, his voice a touch smoother, but still so rough, and tired. Noah was trying to find a way to be light-hearted, she could tell, but what was between them was weighing them both down.

“Please, she’ll practically give you anything you want, Noah Sebastian. She loves you like a son, Nicholas always spouts that she’d disown him and adopt you if her husband would let her, and you know it.”

Shaking his head a little, taking another sip of his tea slowly, easing it down his throat before speaking again. His eyes held a little mirth at her words, she wasn’t wrong, it was a running joke between him and Nicholas about his mother, however when it came to this tea, that was a different story altogether.

“Not this tea, this is her magic tea, this is her feel-good tea. She only ever gives it up when she wants to make someone feel better, or, she particularly likes someone. She hasn’t given that tea to any of us to take home, ever. Furthermore, she gives it to Nicholas for his office to calm anxious people, she makes us a cup when we visit, but lets any of us take some of it home. Never. Until you. Everyone says I’m her favourite, but I think it’s you, BabyGirl.”

Noah’s voice grew smoother, and softer as he spoke, the tea soothing his throat as it did. She tried not to react, but a tiny smile formed on her lips as he spoke of Mama Ruffilo and how protective she was of her tea, and his claim that she was her favourite. Never had she ever been anyone’s favourite before. She did know about the tea at the office, she’d been one of those that needed a little soothing, just as Nick had told her, she remembered telling his mom about her magic tea, and how it healed her cough.. She realised now that she’d known she was dead, it was a horrible reality, figuring out all the people who had hidden so much from her. Did it make her a horrible person that forgiving Mama Ruffilo was easier, though? Was it cruel to hold it against Noah? He’d been in her home, her life, her bed.. He lied to her every day.

Then her breath hitched, that tiny smile on her lips froze, and her heart clenched when she heard it, BabyGirl. She remembered him telling her how nothing could make him not want her as his BabyGirl. Taking in a sharp breath as her expression dropped, setting her mug down, she wasn’t sure calming tea was going to help her now.

“Noah, I-”

Swallowing, she didn’t know what to say to him.

“Listen, Ellie, I would have told you if I-”

“Don’t.”

Her eyes closed quickly as she stood back from the bar and shook her head, no.

“I don’t want to hear you tell me excuses, about how you would have told me if you could have. Noah, you could have. You chose not to. You lied to me, Noah, you started a relationship with me knowing you were lying to me, the entire time.”

Ellie couldn’t help the way the words were flowing when she started talking now, almost ranting at him. Noah’s dark eyes pained as he regarded her, he hated that she thought that they got involved as they did, and how he felt about her, and all she could think about was that he lied to her. He knew why, he knew... And it was killing him.

“I’m not-”

She just kept going, cutting him off as he tried to talk.

“And don’t you dare try to say we weren’t properly dating, because I was stupid enough to keep telling myself that again and again, that we were just hooking up, and just hanging out every time you came over to spend time with me. That we were only enjoying ourselves, nothing more. Even if we never said the words specifically, even if we never actually called them what they were, we’ve been dating for months. You’ve been lying to me for months.”

Standing from the breakfast bar, Noah’s voice was forceful as it cut through her little tirade, but he had no choice as it was the only way to get her to hear him as her words just kept steamrolling forward. “Goddammit, Ellie, I’m not Jeremy!”

He couldn’t stand it anymore, he couldn’t stand her accusing him like that, she wasn’t saying it, but she was comparing him to that bastard, he could feel it, every time she talked about their relationship, talked about him lying.

“Yes, I lied, I should have told you, but I didn’t, because, I love you BabyGirl. After our talk, I was trying to convince Nick to tell you, I was going to enlist his Mama if I had to, to get him on board, but I was not going to back down. I didn’t care if I was going to get busted down to the lowest of ranks, I would have done it.”

Ellie glared a little at how aggressively he spoke about Jeremy, she knew he wasn’t, didn’t she? She went to yell at him, how dare he assume to know what she was thinking when he kept going, and suddenly she was completely floored with what he was saying to her.

Watching him, completely silent, a bit dumbfounded actually as he paced back and forth, ranting about how he was going to push Nicholas to finally agree to tell her if it was the last thing he did. Hearing that he couldn’t stand holding back from her anymore, that the night before she found out had almost broken him, but his best friend, his brother, it was his job that was on the line, and betraying him was…

Hearing Noah’s voice crack at the word betrayal had Ellie finding her voice, finally, not just because it was finally dawning on her just how much turmoil Noah must have been dealing with, going in circles dealing with his loyalty to Nicholas, and how much guilt he had with how he’d treated her.. But also her feelings about what he’d said..

“You love me?”

Her voice was so quiet, that the words were barely breathed out. She felt so small. He’d never said it, and she knew she hadn’t either, not until, not until she’d admittedly thrown it in his face that she’d fallen in love with another liar.

Despite how soft her voice was, even with his ranting, Noah heard them, how could he not? Of course, he fucking heard them, this was Ellie, this was BabyGirl, he’d been dying to get her to talk to him all week, and hearing her utter anything at all, and he’d hear it. No matter how painful. Yes, her questioning whether he loved her, was painful, because, did she not know?

No, he hadn’t admitted how he felt, that was something Noah had struggled with since he was young, and he always had, he’d lost so many people in his life, that telling someone how he felt came with actions, over words. He showed them how he felt. Which, is kind of why he tended to round up all the people who hurt everyone he loved and tortured them to wit's end. It was safe to say, that Carla, Jeremy and Gia had truly been enduring so much pain and suffering at Noah’s hands this past week. It wasn’t his wrath that was justly earned, however, his pain that had been poured into their suffering, which just made it all the more potent as far as he was concerned.

Noah moved around the island bar and shifted to stand before her, his hands moving to cup her face in his hands.

“Ellie, BabyGirl, of course, I love you. If you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”

His forehead leaned down to hers softly, she shuddered softly, tears glistening in her eyes as she smiled slowly,

“I love you too, you, idiot.”

Thankfully he was already leaning down to press his forehead to herself so it wasn’t hard to bring her lips to his with a kiss. She hadn’t told anyone she loved them properly since, since… Jeremy. Ellie hadn’t dared trust herself to do such a thing, because the thought of that kind of betrayal…

Her heart clenched thinking about loving someone who would use her, and lie to her, and yet, seeing the pain and anguish in Noah’s eyes with the fact he’d been living with the reality, she’d been comparing them.

And she had, hadn’t she?

It made her feel sick.

That this man, this man that had been willing to try and force the hand of the closest person to him in the world, his brother, for her. No, not a man, a demon, who could torture, main, and kill, all manner of beings in ways she could only imagine, and he had been talking about plotting against Nicholas, because that was what he’d been saying in no uncertain terms with that little rant just now. His words were coming out in a jumbled mess as he paced along the breakfast bar, but they had been there. Looking up at him now, her hands resting on his biceps, fingers squeezing lightly as she smiled.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, BabyGirl, but I couldn’t stand the thought of, okay, still having been lying to you when I did.”

She laughed at that, tears in her eye, fuck, why was she crying, her cheeks were wet and Noah was kissing them now, brushing her tears away with his lips. Sighing when she got another good look at him though, shaking her head, she might be in tears, but he looked, damn he still looked like he was barely able to stand up on his feet, how was he still standing right now?

“Come on, Mister, you look like you are about to fall asleep on your feet! What you have been doing all week??”

Starting to guide Noah towards her room, he really did need to sleep, he looked dead tired, and she was the one who was honestly dead.

“I’ve been playing with my new pets, three of them, it's been cathartic to make them scream.”

Oh, oh, she could bet what their names were too, Carla, Jeremy, and Gia.

As she got him into her room, and into her bed, wrapping him up into her blanket, he managed to convince her to join him, she did, wrapped up with him, cuddles, nothing more, he needed sleep. Sure, he could magic himself to look normal, but he’d still be exhausted, and she wouldn’t believe him for a second until she’d seen him sleep with her own two eyes. Her head on his cheek, hearing his heartbeat start to lull,

“Ellie?”

“Mmm, yeah?”

“M’not Mister.”

“No?”

“I’m the fucking king.”

Giggling as she remembered one of his lines at the music show, yes, yes he was.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[dear-theodosia22]

For @overthemoons7 a dorlene short fic

Do You Love Me Still?

Marlene didn't know if she still had time to confess,to tell her she cares

Marlene has always been told she's rather dense, slow on the uptake if you will. But now she feels really stupid because it's been staring at her for ages now

Marlene needed to see her so badly

She saw a flash of gold beaded hair turning the corner, and she latched on to that like a dog who just got a fresh bone.

She ran towards the corner only to run into a wall , wait scratch that a person, who by the smell of it was pretty damn smelly.

James Potter

"Marlene! I didn't see you at practice today? Where were you?" James asked, puzzled that Marlene would miss something that's so important to her.

"Looking for someone, and I'm still looking" Marlene replied, her eyes darting to every flash of green she saw.

"Who ya looking for?"

"Dorcas"

"Hmm... Think I saw her with Reg when-"

Marlene didn't give James time to finish because she was already gone by the time he said Reg, calling out a quick "Thanks!"

She knew where she was at, she was always there when she was with the youngest Black.

She entered the courtyard, panting and face red. But her eyes went to scan the area zeroing in on her.

She fixed her messy blonde locks, a bit frizzy from all the sweat.

She slowly walked up to her, because even though she was trying to find her all day, she was nervous.

The youngest Black's eyes immediately latched on to her. His eyes were confused at first, then curious, and then finally realization finally dawned on him.

"Excuse me Cas, it's come to my attention that a certain buffoon and I have made plans. Goodbye" The youngest Black, said before getting up and leaving.

"You know you don't have to call your boyfriend that-" Dorcas grinned before her eyes fell on Marlene

Her grin faded into a frown, "Marlene? What're you doing here?"

"I.. wanted to tell you something"

"What is it?"

"I understand now, the letters, the trips to Hogsmeade, and the whole shabang"

"You didn't before?"

"No, I didn't" Marlene paused, to take a breath before continuing "I understand that you thought for almost an entire half an year we were dating"

"Oh.." Dorcas' voice sounded so heartbroken it was hurting Marlene just hearing it.

"I understand... Sorry that I assumed"

"No! Wait listen, please.."

"Okay"

"For the longest time I've always known I liked girls, and it wasn't a secret I tried to hide" Marlene didn't know where to start so she began where she knew best.

" I always viewed you as a friend who I cared a lot for,"

"Cared? As in past-tense?"

"No- wait yes... I mean kinda"

"Just spit it out then" Dorcas' voice rang across the empty courtyard.

"I love you, and I know it took me a while but I do. Do you love me still?" Marlene said as she held her breath scared of the answer.

It was quiet for some time and Marlene began to feel heartbroken

"I do, I do, I do" Dorcas whispered, so quietly it was hard for Marlene to make sure she heard her right.

Marlene was so happy she leaned to kiss Dorcas on the lips, just a small peck of course, they just confessed their love she could wait for something deeper.

"I hope you say that another time for me" Marlene grinned, eyes crinkling at how wide the smile was.

Love was always something joyful to express, for Marlene, she always had joyful experiences with the word love.

And now, with the girl she loves tucked into her there's nowhere she'd rather be.

[swiftsdelucaa]

 Hi, can you do a meredith grey x reader where meredith can’t decide who to pick between reader and Derek. Then she makes her decision once she sees her come into the hospital after she gets injured? Please?

❛ 𝑰 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Meredith Grey x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: Sorry for the wait 🙏This was a good idea anyway anon, I hope you'll enjoy this!!

Even though your relationship didn't last long, this girl could make you feel so damn good. Meredith Gray is one of those people you never wanted to lose.

Everything seemed to be fine, but then... he came along. Derek Shepherd, one of the world's most famous neurosurgeons who would come to work in the same hospital as you. Well that's great. But beyond that he was also Meredith's ex-boyfriend, and since he'd arrived she'd gotten weird.

She had begun to behave differently with you, and when you found out why you immediately felt like a useless object. Did she still love him?

Herself had declared that she didn't know. She said that it had been one of her most important relationships to her, and that ending it had been so hard. And she was probably retrying everything right now. You didn't even know if still believe her when she told you to care about you.

Sometimes meetings between you, Meredith and Derek happened so embarrassing that you would want to disappear from the whole world. More you got to know him, more he just seemed like an asshole, you had no idea how could Meredith fell for someone like that.

Since she didn't intend to do anything to change the situation you decided to walk away from her. She seemed to have noticed it, so when she saw you she often tended to follow you to try to talk to you, and you couldn't take it anymore.

"Y/n, please, wait!" you heard her voice coming from behind you as you went down the stairs.

"What do you still want to me?" you addressed her in a rather annoyed tone.

"Y/n, I really care about you, you must believe me, but-"

"But what?" you interrupted her. "Meredith, I'm the last person in the world who's going to tell you what to do and stop you from being happy. If being with Derek is what you want, go. I'm not going to stay here and wait forever for a person who doesn't even know what wants and playing with other people's feelings. I knew what I wanted, and it was just to be with you, but sadly it doesn't always go as hoped..." you could see the tears in her eyes before you could walk away. As difficult as it's been, it was the only solution, but it hurt you badly.

From that moment the only thing you waited for was the end of the day to go home. You would have sat on the sofa and started drinking to forget all this crap.

You left the hospital, went to your car and you've gone. You were just calmly continuing on your way, the sun was bothering your eyesight, so you reached over to get to your bag and get your sunglasses, but you just dropped everything. You huffed and turned for a moment to gather everything up, sorted yourself out, and immediately you saw the car in front of you stopped. You pressed your foot quickly on the brake, but since you would never be able to stop in time you swerved sharply. You couldn't even see where you had crashed as you hit your head for the impact, and after that you didn't remember anything.

When you woke up you were so confused, everyone was around your stretcher. You wanted to try to say something, but you felt like you didn't quite have the strength.

You were hearing them talk about a possible concussion, when all of a sudden you started getting severe pain in your abdomen, and everyone leaned over having heard you moan.

"Possible internal bleeding, let's take her to the operating room, right now!" they began to take you away, while you still looked around and the pain took over. Then you saw her, Meredith. She seemed to freeze completely at the sight of you like this. But it was certainly not the right time to think about this.

The surgery had gone well fortunately, now you were alone in a depressing room to say the least. You felt your head pounding, but at least the rest of the pain was under control.

"Y/n" you turned to see Meredith near the edge of the door. "Can I enter please?" there was nothing you could do to stop her being stuck in a hospital bed, so you just nodded.

"How are you?" she sat next to you.

"I've been better..."

"I'm so sorry" her gaze was sad.

"Well it's my fault, I got distracted for a second..."

A strange atmosphere had formed in the room, accompanied by an awkward silence.

"Y/n, I- I've never been really good with new experiences..."

"Meredith, we don't have to talk about it now-"

"No, please listen to me. I've never been good with it, and for me with Derek it's been very important. But there's nothing between us anymore, and knowing you it's been one of the best thing until now. I want you with me, I chose you, and I'll always choose you" these words lit up your face and your mind, almost making you feel better. You flashed her a big smile and she shook your hand.

"If I knew it would take an accident to make you say it, then I would have done it long ago" you both laughed.

"Shut up!" she looked at you smiling and gave you a little kiss on your forehead.

[shurisbathwater]

--𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄; Riri Williams.

But my third eye is going blind,

I'm unaligned with my body and mind

It's playing tricks, I say I'm fine

But really, It's hurting me deep inside.

✼　｡ﾟ･

|| you have been in love with Riri Williams for a while now, but she can't seem to open her eyes to see that. She starts to experiment and see others -- which you have to hide your hurt.

A/n : yall i loveeee this song so much you don't understand, so I thought why not make it into a lil fic?

Tags : @verachii @shurislover @shuriszn @lunax0654 @6-noir @icespiceluva

Angst. Emotional, but yall are not ready for the next one.

✼　｡ﾟ･

Airplane mode -- limbo . ☆

YOU BOUNCED YOUR KNEE up and down as you waited for Riri's text,maybe call..? she had went on a date with some guy on tinder. The name rolled off her tounge whenever she said it.

You had hoped , desperately hoped it went wrong. Truth is, Riri has been your first love for years now..and yet she still hasn't noticed.

You were too shy to make a move, and you were worried that your friendship would end if you slipped up--which you didnt want. Even if she didn't like you back, you still loved her and wanted her in your life.

Cause I been dreaming about you, oooh

I've been wishing that I was next to you, oooh

I've been dreaming of us, oooh

I've been thinking that this is not a need or a must, but....

You sighed shakily as you switched your phone on and checked your messages.

Riri : you home?

Riri : nvm I'm already here haha

You then hear a knock on the door and you get up from your couch to answer it. Its Riri, of course. You thought it would be. "The date went great!" She squeals as she makes herself comfortable in your apartment.

You smile sadly and choke back tears. "Thats amazing." You say as you go to your kitchen to grab a cold water from your fridge, your back to her.

You gulp it down, just to stop the tears and your shaky nerves. "You thinking of seeing him again?" You give her a tight lipped smile and take a seat next to her.

"Yeah.." she lays her head on your shoulder and stares at the TV.

Gosh, you loved when she did that.

"He just like..has the same interests that I do, and he's exactly my type..and I just feel like.."

"-he's the match for you?" You finish her sentence. She nods slowly as looks up at you with her doe eyes.

"I love you, y/n."

Your heart thumps as you try to muster up some words to say. "You love me?" You say as you nibble your lip.

"Of course I love you, you're my best friend."

Oh.

"Yeah...I..love you too." You say, giving her a shaky smile, blinking back tears once again.

Fuck. You really thought. Why would you expect that? Your dream was just a dream. And nothing could even change that. Gosh, you felt stupid--thinking she'd feel the same way. Why couldn't you just stop loving her?

I'm sorry, baby

Please puppy

I'm trying to be ultra mega happy

And show you my smile

And send you my feelings,

And fuck it is so hard

Being so damn far....

✼　｡ﾟ･

YOU HAD BEEN avoiding Riri for a while now as you knew your feelings were about to be hurt, badly. Truth is, you need to move on too. She'd never see you in that way. Not even a small chance.

Riri wasn't in for it though, she bombarded you with messages day and night. She'd make plans, you'd decline any chance you'd get.

Until today -- when she decided to pound on your door at three in the morning. "Y/n, open this door!" A faint voice said as you heard knocking.

Damn, you fell asleep on the couch. Cold, uneaten popcorn sat on your coffee table and your 90's sitcom paused. You rub your eyes and get up to see who it is.

Riri. You can't get yourself out of this one. You open the door, leaving the chain locked. "I know you've been avoiding me." She says, you scan her outfit, some sweats, a black crop top and her hair in a satin scarf--tied.

"Why y/n?" You open the chain and she waltzes in. "Did i say something wrong? Did I offend you -- I'm sorry I got caught up and --"

I've been waiting on you, ooh

I've been waiting for you to tell me those three words too cause

I been hoping its true, ooh

"No..its..maybe its better you don't know. I dont want to ruin our friendship and I dont want to make it awkward." You let out a sharp exhale as you avoid eye contact.

"Cmon..we're 4lifers right? You can tell me anything and you know that." She says reassuringly.

"Fuck it..im in love with you Riri, I have been for a while now. I understand if you dont want to be friends because I ruin everything like I always do and you'd never see me that way and I'm sorry..." you say as a tear rolls down your cheek.

"Shit." You quickly wipe your face before she can notice.

"I didnt know you'd see me in that way.."

"And you're moving on and I have to act like I'm okay with it when I'm really not, it kills me day by day." Your voice cracks. "Sorry, I'm being so dramatic right now..you can go.." you muttered. You open the door for her.

"Y/n..I-"

"Please leave." She looks at you with sad eyes and walks through the door. You lock the door behind you and sit on the couch and just sob.

Full on sob.

You just ruined everything.

✼　｡ﾟ･

YOUR PHONE BUZZED once again, of course it was Riri, she had been blowing your phone up for a while now, and all you could do was avoid because you didn't know what to say. You eyed your phone sadly as you watched it vibrate.

Riri : y/n let's talk please

Riri : we need to talk.

You blink back tears as you scroll through the endless messages..feeling embarrassed. You suddenly click on the settings button and put your phone on airplane mode. Flipping it over, and looking for something else to focus on.

Airplane mode.

[that-tmr-girl]

The Rules {Part 1}

Despite being broken up you and Aris are still more than comfortable with each other.

Oral

I already know what everyone would say if they knew about us. How it's a bad idea and we'll get hurt. How it would only end in feelings and disaster. How we'll both just be worse off than before. How history will only repeat itself.

But what's the alternative? I can't just go around taking every girl's virginity, and there aren’t exactly any other guys coming anytime soon. Besides, even if there was, they wouldn't know her the way I do. They wouldn't know the right way to touch her, where to be soft, how fast to go, and all the things she adores but won't ask for. And nobody else could be her. Nobody could make her sounds, taste like her, feel like her, look like her. Nobody could ever be her.

And now, nobody needs to be.

Brushing her hair out of her face, I whispered in her ear, listening to her laugh as I pulled away. Holding back a smile, I put my fingers to my lips as she gave me a nod, her lips still upturned in her pretty grin.

Taking in her features for a moment, I averted my gaze when I felt it become too much. Kissing down her stomach, I made sure not to look her in the eye as I trailed my lips against her soft skin before coming to her pants. Pulling everything off, I looked up at her for permission which she granted.

Accepting her answer, I licked up a teasing stripe up her middle. Giving me a whine, she clutched the sheets as I slowly pleasured her with my mouth. Not that it matters. She'd be pulling my hair soon enough.

Pressing a kiss to her clit, I gripped her thighs as I started plunging my tongue in and out. Arching her back, she let out small whimpers as I increased my pace just enough. Sure enough, her hands made my way to my head as she started tangling her hands in my hair. Moaning inside of her, I heard her grow just a little louder as she repeated my name through ragged breaths. Pretending that didn't kill me, I tuned out her sounds as I felt the way her legs started shaking. With her grip on my hair tightening, I kept her legs spread as she pushed her hips further into my mouth one last time before letting go. Keeping my mouth open, I got everything I could from her, savoring her white liquids on my tongue before swallowing them. Pulling away, I traced my tongue on her inner thighs just to be safe, feeling her cum warm my throat. Licking my lips, I got the rest of her before opening my eyes to see her out of breath with a dazed smile. Resisting the urge to call her my sweet girl, my beautiful girl, my love, my princess, I didn't say anything as I caressed her cheek.

“Need you, Aris,”She said through heavy breaths. And I need her too. Just not only in that way.

Pushing the thought down, I straddled her and aligned myself with her entrance before asking if she was ready. When she said yes, I slowly pushed into her. Hearing her moan my name, I closed my eyes to stop the tears as I tried to savor being inside of her. Holding her waist, I fit myself all the way in before holding still so that she could adjust. Holding back grunts, I didn't think anything of the way I kept my hands on her. Not until I felt her start to shake a little too much. I looked at her only to see little tears in her eyes. Pulling out and leaning over her, I was quick to wipe them and ask what happened.

“You’ve never held on that tight,”She managed to say through ragged breaths. Looking down, I saw the dark handprints, soon to be bruises I left on her, and she was never good with pain. Her tolerance was admittedly low so what could be so minor to some hurt so badly to her.

“I’m so sorry. I’m really, really sorry,”I promised, praying that she knew that I always only wanted to be gentle with her. With her body, with her mind, and with her heart. Hoping that she knew I didn't do it on purpose and never would. Silently pleading to myself that this wouldn't be our last night like this.

Being light, I ran my fingers over the bruises to try and soothe her. All the while, repeating my apology.

Feeling the way she seemed less tense, I pressed my lips to every single print before gazing up at her. While her tears had stopped falling, she just looked out of it. With a quiet yawn, I got my answer as to why. She was tired. Really tired.

“Is there anything you need from me?”I asked, still tracing my fingers on the bruises.

“Stay?”She whispered.

“Of course. I always-”

“No. Next to me. Stay next to me,”She clarified.

The rules. This was definitely against the rules.

But I don't care. I had missed her. Really, really missed her, and even if I didn't mean to, I had just hurt her. The rules can fuck off for one night.

Like I used to, I slipped her underwear back on, being extra cautious this time, before putting her in one of my hoodies. Only bothering with my boxers, I put the blanket over her before pulling her close. She seemed to lean into my touch as I pressed a kiss to her neck. Wrapping my arms around her, she intertwined our legs as she held me back.

This was breaking the rules. So many of them.

But I couldn't care less. Whether I said it or not, it was true. I had never fallen out of love with her.

[eldritchelfwriter]

More Florwyn thoughts ... through late act 1 and act 2

Chapter 14 needs a bit more time in the oven, so instead enjoy part 2 of Florwyn's inner thoughts through Shadowheart Begins. (Part 1 is here).

Burning questions? Asks are OPEN.

=============

I knew it couldn't last, but still, it's a blow to hear it. I don't think Shadowheart knows all she should about this goddess of hers but how could I possibly tell her that? What I sense in her wound is only making me more sure that she is being deceived. But I can't tell her I hate her goddess but I ... love ... her. Gods, I'm already in deep. But we're probably all going to die soon anyway, I can't just let this moment in time with Shadowheart slip away.

Poor Lae'zel. I would give her a hug, if I thought she would accept it.

I never thought I'd get to see the Underdark for myself.

A storm oh gods not like this. Not like this. Gods I can't - no - no - not again notagainnotagain - need to find - Shadowheart -

I'm safe. She's safe. It's over.

But now she knows. What I did. Why did I tell her? Why did I show her that? Aren't I enough of a freak already?

An Arcane Tower, in the Underdark? Probably another Mystra fawn. I hope it's not a wizard, but with my luck ...

I - I don't know what to think, I don't know what to feel. Not El. Not here. Not after all this time. Not now!! Oh gods gods gods how do I get OUT OF HERE.

Bernard. It's - it's Bernard. How many times did he follow me around, bringing more hot chocolates than a little girl could handle? No I don't want to remember. I don't want to think about what he - we - we did to - to - NO. No more. It's over. It's over.

Why would she leave a code for me? Why did she leave me? Wasn't I good enough? Why why why after all this time WHY is she back and still making me miserable, when apparently she's already DEAD?

She knows, now. Shadowheart knows. And I know it's safe with her. She isn't judging me for what was done, what I had to do. I'm so relieved to be able to tell someone. I'm so glad it was her, that I told. She is becoming everything to me. I don't know how I will let her go.

Oh my heart. Did I share too much? Is she scared of me, now that she knows what I can do? Everyone always sees that I'm a freak in the end. Gods it hurts. Something has changed and I don't know what to do, and she won't talk to me. My heart is breaking. All I can do is cry myself to sleep and hope tomorrow things will be different. Or the day after that ... or the day after that ...

THIS is Shar? This curse? How can Shadowheart possibly worship a goddess that does - this? None of us believe Shadowheart chose this. And no one will say it to her face because we know how she'd react. But everyone thinks her memory wipe, and her wound, are beyond suspicious. And when she's saying something about Shar, it sounds like she's repeating something rote. It's not who she is. It isn't!!

I'm lucky Karlach can give hugs now because I've sure been needing them. She says Shadowheart will come round, but I'm not so sure. There's something horribly wrong, like she's ill or something. When I see her eyes, it's like she's not even there. And there's nothing I can do!! I want so badly to reach out - to hold her - but she keeps avoiding me. What am I to do?? And why, oh why, did she leave me? Did I do something wrong??

Karlach says she will talk to her while we're at Moonrise Towers.

I'm not ready to die. But I'm dying.

I'm dying. I'm dying. Shadowheart ...

Was Shadowheart here with me, or was that a dream? Oh gods I can't take it if she turns away from me again.

She was afraid of love? LOVE? All along? So, I did scare her, but not with my powers. I guess it makes sense, with all the Shar stuff, for love to be scary. I hate Shar for doing that to her. But I'm so glad everything's out in the open. I'm so glad she's talking to me and being honest with me. I know she feels the same, even if she can't say it. It's so good to see her back. It's so good to see her. It's so good to hold her. Even if we have to put things on hold for Shar.

I have a terrible feeling about Shadowheart's mission. A terrible, terrible feeling. I know what I said. I know what I agreed to. But I don't really want her to be Shar's at all. But I haven't a clue how to help her leave Shar behind. Isobel says I am doing the only thing that might work - loving her. But that's an easy thing to do! I wish I could do more. El taught me to pray to Mystra, but what did Mystra ever do for me? Should I pray to Selune perhaps? Shadowheart would kill me if I did. Not literally. She wouldn't kill anyone just for talking to Selune. ... would she?

This place makes my skin crawl. I can feel Shar all around, like a sickness in the air. And Shadowheart is set to become a Dark Justiciar. And then, she will be out of reach, gone from me forever, to Shar and her wickedness. None of the others like it either, but what are we to do? Tie her up and prevent her from achieving her life's goal? She'd never forgive us, and it would confirm all the lies Shar has ever said to her about trust and love and ... oh that I could take her away, far from here.

Somehow I knew it would come down to this. That at some point, she would have to choose between me and Shar. I shouldn't want it, given what we agreed at the start, but I want her to choose me. My poor deluded heart, you knew it would come to this sooner or later. I can't bear to see her deeper in Shar's clutches. But I can't say nothing! I'd regret it for ever, if I didn't even try. I can't lose her, but I can't cage her either. Oh if there is a god who cares, please help me!

It's even worse than I imagined. A helpless aasimar, caged and drained of her power. Worse than anything Petorran did. This is not who Shadowheart is. She can't do this. Surely not. Surely not. Not my Shadowheart.

My wonderful, beautiful Shadowheart! She defied Shar! But she's rocked by the enormity of it all, she needs time to heal. I will give her what comfort I can and -

SHADOWHEART!!!!!!!! SHADOWHEART!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! LET ME BACK IN YOU EVIL BITCH!!!!!

... Shadowheart?? My gods what has happened to her?? Is she OK?? Well clearly not but ...

... she wants to be with me. 'Now and always." Who could believe a heart could feel so much joy, in this cursed place?

I wish I could just look after her at camp at let the others kill Ketheric, but there is no time. Everyone is looking after her, though. Proving Shar's words wrong!!!

I'm so worried. One person isn't enough to love away all the hurt and pain she has borne. I hope the aasimar comes soon, I can barely take seeing her so lost.

The truth, at last. I hate that bitch Shar even more. This is going to be a lot for her to adjust to. A lot. Something I know, all too well.

I'm so glad she feels she can come to me now. My dear Shadowheart, how much you have borne today. I can't make it all better, but I will love you, as best I can, as best as I know how.

... and how my heart soars to hear you say those three little words ...

=========

I see you here in the darkness

Blinding light right where your heart is

If you're ready, heart is open

I'll be waiting, come find me

[midnightlizard]

How would Nia Nal react to her little brother getting hurt on a mission?

You're my responsability

Nia Nal & brother!reader

Warnings: nothing

Word count: 1.3k

-

-

oh she'd be furious, livid even

The only words that came out of her mouth every time you got hurt were cuss words and harsh remarks.

When it comes to a small cut or a superficial bruise you could get away with a simple scolding and a slap of the wrist.

But whenever it was something serious - which in Nia's terms could mean a broken bone - she would become insufferable, snapping at everyone who dares mentioning the mission for the following days.

One could say things got a lot better after a long and difficult conversation between her and Alex, you don't know what really went down in the office the day you heard your sister shouting at the redhead, or rather with the redhead, you just noticed a much deeper bond between the two. Having more things in common than you think.

However, things were still tense with you, you tried to be patient because you knew she was just worried about you.

But sometimes she really didn't think the effect her words could have on you.

This time you got hurt. Badly. It wasn't life-treathning or anything, it just looked bad on the outside and felt worse on the inside. You'll manage, you've suffered worse things in your life.

In the week that you spent in the DEO recory room, your sister never came to check up on you. You could see her walking past the glass door time and time again. Sometimes she was wearing her suit and was clearly in a hurry, and sometime she was wearing her normal clothes, walking with someone. They would greet you with a smile and a small wave, while the only interaction you got from Nia was a quick glance towards you, before she lowered her head to look at the ground.

So much for worry.

When Alex said you could finally be dismessed you didn't know how to feel, you were obviously happy to get back to your normal life, but the mere though of having to interact with Nia - even though she was the one avoiding you in the first place - almost made you nauseous.

Alex could see the battle in your mind displayed in the crease of your eyebrows, and decided to speak up softly "You know she cares about you, right?"

You sighed "I know" you knew better than to judge your sister on a simple, very hurtful, very confusing behaviour "I just don't get all that anger towards me, I might have made a mistake but the mission was still a success"

"She's didn't ignore you out of anger, (Y/N)" you scoffed at that.

"Then why would she?" you slightly raised your voice, thanfully Alex didn't take it to heart.

She offered you a kind smile, this all situation reminding her of when Kara first revealed herself to the world "I can't tell you that, what I can tell you is that you should give Nia a chance to explain herself"

You kept replaying Alex's words in your head as your leaned your elbows on the balcony of the DEO. It was nithtime by now and the chilly air was sneaking through you light shirt hitting you warm chest. You preferred this rather than the costant tempersture of the hospital room. And the sunset was a sight to behold from this height.

"You shouldn't be out here without a jacket, you could catch a cold"

You turned around at the sound of her voice, slightly limping as you did so. You crossed you arms over your chest. She must have seen you shiver a moment ago. "As if you care"

"Of course I do" she admitted quietly, wounded by your assumption. Nia tried looking into your eyes but your hard gaze only made her lower her head once again.

Then it came. The question Nia was dreading to hear - "Then why have you been ignoring me all week?" - but one she knew she had to answer nonetheless.

"I wanted to, I really did" she began fiddling with her fingers, her eyes moving around, not daring to reach your own. This was the first time you saw her more insecure than angry. "But every time I thought about coming into your room, looking at your wounds would have brought me back to that night. And how it could have gone differently-"

"oh my god would you drop it already?" the brunette was taken aback by your outburst "you need to stop lecturing me about every single mistake i make!"

"what are you talking about?" she stammered out.

"ever since I started using my powers you have tried to stop me, I just want to help people like you but you won't let me!"

"I'm not trying to stop you!" she started screaming too now "you're my little brother, I'm trying to protect you"

You took a big breath when you saw Nia having a hard time finding words and handing them to you in a way you would understand. And screaming at each other was definetly not going to help.

You leaned back against the balcony behind you. Standing was starting to hurt but you were not planning on telling your stupidly over-protective sister that. "Look, I know what I signed up for when i started working for the DEO. I knew the risks but I still decided to take the job because helping people with my gift is what I want to do. I'm sure you can understand that. I'm not a kid anymore, you can't keep me under your wing forever"

She took a glance at the dark sky, trying to blink her tears away so her words woulnd't come out in big hiccups. "I know that, I really do" she inhaled sharply.

Had you not been holding onto the railing for dear life, you would have gone up to her and gave her your hands to play with. Something you always used to do whenever she was a little kid scared of her real self. Or a grown woman worried about her gift.

"I don't want to stop you. I just- You'd think I would be able to predict whenever my family is about to get hurt. But I never do." She finished with a shrug, gesturing to the bandages still decorating your body.

Then it hit you. You never actually saw past the facade. You always thought all her anger was a mask to her worry, that it was fake.

But it was very real, you were just not the target.

"I never expect for you to save me, you know that right?" You spoke in a much softer voice.

You carefully strided across the room, noticing Nia's gaze stuck on your limping. Once you were in front of her she reached her arms out to grasp yours to offer stability, which you gladly accepted.

"And neither should you. Your gift is to help civilians and save the city. Your little brother can take care of himself"

Lifting her head, the brunette mirrored your smile, finding comfort in the warmth of your skin under her hands.

"I'm always going to be worried about you"

"And that's fine, I'm worried about you too" your hands coming up to caress her shoulders "You could just, stop being a bitch every time I get hurt"

The hand resting on your arm became a punch and she rolled her eyes "and you could stop getting hurt every time"

"Oh come on you know damn well I don't"

After the laughter died down on both parts Nia tugged on your slevee "come on, let's go home. You're staying at my apartment tonight"

You followed her inside, surrounded by a much warmer environment. You knew the two of you had still some things to work out, Nia wasn't going to suddenly stop feeling at fault every time something happened to you, but now you could be on her side, and not on the other side of the battlefield.

Nia Nal Masterlist - Supergirl Masterlist

General Masterlist

[auroracalisto]

better than a lie

jake "hangman" seresin x gn!reader, past!oc x gn!reader, 2.2k words tw: past relationship, not really talked about in depth but it ended badly and the reader is still hurt by it, meeting your ex's wife, hangman is kind of oblivious at times and so is the reader but we love them for it a/n: love jake. love fake dating situations. ex is named georgia, georgia's wife is named mirabel. no sexuality is mentioned for reader, save for the fact that they dated a girl in the past and now, they're crushing on a dude.

"Jake, please," you said, completely exasperated. You held out your hands in front of you in a begging manner, fingers laced together as you gazed up at him.

You never used his first name—like his friends, you often favored using his callsign. It was, in fact, a part so ingrained in him that it worked just as well as his real name. But seeing you like this, hearing how you said his name, he was worried something bad had happened.

He coyly raised an eyebrow, curiosity striking him where he stood.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

You pursed your lips. What would even be the best way to go about something like this? This was your last resort—or rather, you waited far too long to ask anyone for help, and now, Hangman was the only one still remaining by you in the bar. You wouldn't have asked just anyone this. Hell, would you even ask Hangman?

You watched as Jake took a swig of his beer. You didn't have another second to debate. It was now or never.

"Pretend to be my boyfriend for the evening."

Jake sputtered on his drink, looking up at you with wide eyes. He immediately sat the glass bottle down, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"What?" he asked, voice hoarse from nearly choking. He hadn't expected any of that.

"Just for a few hours," you said. "My ex said she'd be by, and I really don't want to—"

"—why would—"

"—Jake, let me finish!"

He sealed his lips, staring you down.

"She's really successful and married, and she knows that I moved here a little after we broke up," you said. "I don't want her to think I'm still the same loser she dumped two years ago. Just—just for a few hours. Please."

He sighed softly, rolling his shoulders back as he thought about it. He had many things to say, but he wasn't about to unpack that; he knew you were far from being a loser. Hell, his stomach filled with butterflies as soon as you asked him to just pretend. He could do a hell of a good job at something like that—he'd do even better, not pretending.

"What do I get in return?" he asked.

"I'll buy your drinks for a week," you said.

"Deal."

He would have accepted it for far less.

It's not that you weren't friends with Hangman. In fact, you were friends with all the pilots in his squad. But Hangman specifically was someone you weren't too sure about. At times, he was too brash. Too rude. Too... well, Hangman.

He was an attractive man, and when he wanted to be, he was quite funny. His muscles were to die for, and that smile he always shot your way made your heart melt. But he was also an asshole.

And you didn't like him like that.

No, no, you were just observing how incredible he was. He'd never have said yes to you had you not promised him drinks. You were surprised he even agreed to begin with.

As you stood there, prepared to get a drink for yourself, an all-too-familiar voice came from behind you.

She was already here.

"Y/n!"

Your eyes widened. You looked up at Jake for a split second before you turned around, pulling on a smile.

"Georgia," you said, eyes flittering to the woman beside her. She looked just as awkward as you did, if not more.

Your ex reached forward and pulled you into a tight hug.

"It's so good to see you!" she said. "You look great."

"So do you," you weakly said, continuing to smile.

This should have been easy. With a man like Jake by your side, you should have felt more comfortable. But the idea that you were lying to Georgia made you pause. You had been in love with her, and now, she was standing right in front of you.

You didn't love her. Not anymore. But she hurt you more than words can describe. You couldn't fathom going through something like that again.

"This is Mirabel," she said, motioning to her. "My wife."

Oh. She's her wife.

She brought her wife? It was only supposed to be her and possibly a friend. You figured the "possibly" meant that Georgia wasn't sure. That she would just show up, alone. You could feel yourself tensing, on the route to full-on panic mode, when Jake placed a hand on your shoulders.

"You gonna introduce me, or should I do it myself?" Jake said, his voice laced with that teasing manner he always seemed to have.

You glanced back at him. He was here. He was still here. You were fine. You were doing just fine. You weren't alone in all of this. You broke out into yet another smile as you placed your hand over the top of his, looking back at Georgia.

"Yeah... this—this is my boyfriend," you said. You numbly squeezed his hand as you spoke. Jake moved his hand from your shoulder but immediately laced his fingers with yours.

"Jake," he said, sending Georgia a smile. "Jake Seresin. Nice to finally meet you. You can call me Hangman if you'd like."

Georgia let out a soft laugh. "You've talked about me? All good things, I hope," she said.

"Definitely," he said.

You tensed. He didn't know anything about her. Hell, he didn't even know you had dated her. You didn't share everything with the squad—most of your past life had been a well-kept secret. There were reasons you left. Reasons why you didn't want to even see Georgia. And yet, here you were.

"But, you know, they didn't tell me all that much," he said. "Just enough for me to point you out in a crowd."

"Hm," Georgia glanced from the two of you before looking at Mirabel. That same glint in her eye told you she was questioning things. "I'll be right back. I'm gonna grab us a couple drinks."

Mirabel gave a small nod. The rather short and timid woman watched as her wife left before she looked up at the two of you.

"So..." she began, shifting where she stood. She didn't want to be here, either. How awkward was it to meet your wife's ex? "How long have you two been together?"

Oh. Shit. You didn't even think this far. Your eyes widened and you went to speak, but the hand squeezing your own stopped you.

"Going on six months," he said with an endearing mile. "Been a dream the entire time."

Mirabel's eyes softened and she began to smile. Immediately, she was comforted by the comment—she too was uncomfortable with the fact her wife wanted to meet with her ex. But now that she knew you were in a well-established relationship, it was far easier. There would be no worries on Mirabel's part.

"Where did you two meet?"

"They work nearby," he said. "I had run into them a couple times, and then when I saw them at the bar... I knew I had to make a move." Hangman chuckled softly, pulling you into his side. He wrapped an arm around your waist, and you welcomed it. Your cheeks burned, but not out of embarrassment. You were flustered. He did this so well.

It was almost as if he wasn't acting.

Georgia came back with a few drinks, hanging one to Mirabel with a smile.

"Well, you three look well-acquainted already! What did I miss?"

"I was just saying how we'd been together for nearly six months now," Hangman said, nodding in her direction.

You gently gripped at the fabric of his shirt, smiling in return.

"Oh! Are you guys planning to do anything for your anniversary? Six months is a big milestone!"

You winced at the comment. When the two of you had been together, she celebrated every single month. Not that it was a bad thing. You just knew your lies were going to catch up to you at some point, especially when you continued to flounder under the pressure.

Jake just smiled. "Well, I had wanted to take Y/n out to dinner. Nothing too crazy. Maybe hit a couple of their favorite spots. We're both busy people, so whatever we could do would be perfect."

You released the breath you didn't know you had, looking up at him. He returned your gaze, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

Warmth spread across your face, and you knew yourself better than anyone—this man had you flustered. He chuckled softly and looked towards the couple opposite of them.

"Do you two play pool?"

Georgia and Mirabel had long since left. You found yourself sitting at the bar, head in your hands as you ignored the whiskey on the rocks you had ordered. Condensation rolled down the sides, completely abandoned by both its maker and its consumer.

Hangman gently patted your back as he took the spot beside of you.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked, hand hovering over the fabric that clung to your body.

"About what?"

"The elephant in the room."

You pursed your lips, slowly sitting up to look at him properly. "What's there to say, Jake?"

"Are you still in love with your ex?"

Your eyes widened. What kind of question was that?

"No," you immediately said. "No, I'm not. But..."

"...but?"

"I didn't want them to think I was still hung up on them. I'm not. I've... I've not thought of them like that in years."

That was true. When Georgia broke things off, you tried to move on as quickly as possible. You moved, for Pete's sake. But the pain was still there, no matter what. And the idea of liking someone like Jake Seresin was mildly terrifying. He was... incredible. And after tonight, you knew that. You would never think otherwise, ever again.

"So there's someone else?" he asked, grabbing the watered down whiskey you had. He took a sip of it, but it didn't seem to bother him. The alcohol would only help, especially when he considered the fact you might confess there was someone else, and it definitely wasn't him.

You pursed your lips. "Jake..."

"What?" he shrugged, sending you a cheeky smile. "I play boyfriend for a couple hours and suddenly I'm a stranger? Come on, Y/n. You know me better than that."

Warmth crept to your cheeks once more. You looked down at your lap, squeezing your eyes shut as you debated—should you just confess? What would he even say?

"Y/n... I'm sorry," Jake said, setting the glass down. "I shouldn't have asked. I get it, it's personal. I'm just gonna head out—"

You reached forward, quickly grabbing onto his sleeve.

"Wait a minute," you said, looking up at him. Your heart leaped to your throat, and in an instant, you knew everything was about to change.

Disbelief held his features as he peered down at you.

"Out of this whole bar. Out of all of our friends. I... I chose you. If there was anyone out there, and the time came to choose again, I would choose you. Every time."

He paused for a moment, lips quirking up in a small smirk. "Gotcha. Well... I'm glad to know you can depend on me," he said. He gently pushed your hand off of him. "I'm gonna head out," he repeated. "You call me if you need anything, yeah?"

Your eyes widened as he began to walk out. Did he not just hear you? Was that not enough for him? Maybe you have outright said, "Jake Seresin, you big dope, I like you." You jumped off of the stool, rushing after him and into the dark of the night.

"Jake Seresin!"

This caused him to stop and completely turn to face you.

Your hands found his face, and you absentmindedly pulled him down to face you.

"Are you that dense?"

He furrowed his eyebrows in response. Usually, he was so good at telling when someone liked him, man or woman. And yet, this very minute, he had no idea what to do. He didn't know what to think.

You leaned up on the tips of your toes, your lips pressing to his. You squeezed your eyes shut, terrified that he would pull away if you looked at him.

At first, Jake didn't kiss back. When you started to pull away, he wrapped an arm around your torso, pulling you flush against his body as his lips molded into yours. Your hands gripped onto his shirt, body relaxing in his grasp.

As he pulled away, he pressed a few soft kisses to your lips, moving to rest his forehead against yours.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, heart pounding in your chest.

"Jake..."

"Go out with me. Let me take you on a date, for real. And then you don't have to worry about who you talk to. You got a boyfriend, no matter what."

Your lips stretched into a soft smile, your head tilting to the side.

Hangman liked you back.

"I might need more convincing than that," you said, fingers gently releasing the fabric of his shirt to cup his face again.

Jake gained a wicked smirk, excitement scorching his body. "I think I can do that, sweetheart."

[cheshireegray]

☆。I know I haven’t been on here in the longest time, but I’m sorta back so here’s a Klaroline one shot as an apology. Please don’t hate me 🫣

𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑨𝑪𝒀 𝑰𝑺𝑵𝑻 𝑱𝑼𝑺𝑻 𝑺𝑬𝑿

ＳＥＲＩＥＳ ＯＮＥ： ＫＬＡＲＯＬＩＮＥ

𝗛𝗨𝗠𝗔𝗡 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗕𝗘𝗦

&

𝗛𝗬𝗕𝗥𝗜𝗗 𝗞𝗟𝗔𝗨𝗦 𝗠𝗜𝗞𝗔𝗘𝗟𝗦𝗢𝗡

"Okay favorite color?" Her voice was light and airy as she called the next question. Klaus leans behind her combing his slender fingers through her bouncy water curls. Humming softly to an older classical singer he favored.

His young blonde turns her head a little to retrieve his attention again—-not that she ever lost it, but he hadn't answered quickly like her last few turns.

The original chuckles lightly and kisses her hair, "that one's easy, it's yellow."

Caroline shakes her head but hums when he massages her scalp with his firm hands. She lets her body sink deeper into his spread legs, feeling her hands wave and sway with the bathtub water. Klaus's finger graze the tip of her temple before he pulls them back lightly.

"What was my youngest brother's name?"

The question itself didn't float around so hotly or discomforted as it once did in the first year of their relationship. At first he wouldn't answer any questions that she'd asked—-involving his past sibling. Always reminding how she didn't need to dig into something he'd never cared to talk about, which caused arguments and very emotional tears. 

That was then though. 

He hears her heart pump slightly more, a known excitement coursing through her delicate skin. He knew how much she enjoyed talking about 'the Viking days' with him. Always finding deep enjoyment in his stories of how he once lived his very old and tedious life. 

"I personally love calling him Henry, but his name was Henrik." Her head tilts with a speckle of sass in her tone, knowing he'd be smirking behind her. It was true Caroline loved calling Henrik—-Henry or little hen, saying if he was still alive they'd be best friends. Making bracelets, playing with their magic, still remaining their fragile human selves,  and playing innocent jokes on the rest of his dysfunctional family. 

Klaus smirks--as she'd known. Thinking about how much a simple human girl could shift his dark and immortal life. So much of him he'd thought had died along with the his last human heart beat, she'd pulled out of his cold blocked off heart. 

He continued to wonder where she'd been when he was human and begging to find a love such as the kind they'd experienced currently. Well of course he knew that she wasn't even a seedling when he was flesh and fragile skinned, but it never hurt to question. 

The still hot bathtub water waves against her shifting to lean her head back toward his bare chest. Humming when his hands wrap to cover her bare---soft skin, pulling her closer in between his legs. 

Klaus leans down to plant sweet lipped touches across her next, slowly tasting the salty taste of the lavender bubble bath. Nobody would or could ever understand his affection for the short blonde that leaned up against his chest in a fathomable way. 

None could understand how badly he breathed her oxygen, ingesting the sweet tangling smell of her everything. Klaus had always lived to be the eternal bachelor, until the day she'd run into him while he was walking through the wood in mystic falls. Trying to plot ways to get the doppelganger to break his curse. 

He remembered how she criticized him on being a weirdo for walking in the woods at nearly  eleven at night. Her hair had been  wet from the lake that she'd been taking a late night swim in, speckles falling down her neck, just above the beating line that pumped the invigorating liquid he'd feasted upon only hours before from a bystander. 

It was like his heart skipped the centuries worth of beats it had over the thousand years. Watching her chest rise and fall ever so gently as she breathed in the thing he'd no longer needed. Caroline had been the first breath he'd breathed since before the sword went right into his heart. 

That was the night he'd felt a crack run down the barrier of his heart when she'd smiled at him after he walked her up the white boarded porch of her mother's old home. Klaus had fallen quicker than he'd ever felt one could fall. 

He trails his lips up her soft baby like skin, towards the under bone of her neck that connected to her ear. Nibbling at the skin there, then planting a tender kiss against the never there mark. 

"Your turn, sweetheart," his voice whispers, listening to her barley sounded hum in return. 

Caroline sighs gently, "What's my middle name?" 

He doesn't ponder on the thought, she'd known that he knew every simple detail about her. Including the cloud shaped birthmark that was underneath her left breast, or the star tattoo that resided on her right ankle.  

Truth was she loved hearing him say it, regardless if it was when they would disagree on something and he'd bluntly burst out the name to grab her attention in a less physical manner. Or when he'd say if she was testing his patients in the most loving---but childish ways. 

"Elizabeth." 

Her body tingled in the most deliciously delicate ways. Hearing each syllable fall from his fine wined lips, having the feeling of being held by the most dangerous man to walk among the world. The power that came with his detailed and vibrant accent every each of words he'd spoken to her, but the name---oh the name, it made her want to bury herself underneath the tongue in which he'd used it. 

Nothing ever made a name so simple as Elizabeth could ever sound so special, so tender, so earnest, as Klaus saying it in the presence of her finely pierced ears. Caroline had imagined living her life until age's of normal humans came to take her away, a astounding journalism career, a husband she'd met by an accidental bump in a supermarket, marriage, two beautiful children--maybe even a dog, and the love that followed with the wish. 

But being with an immortal hybrid who'd burn down the world for a scratch against her peach colored skin, for a wrong head turn to curse profanities against her clear mind, or even the simplest of coffee mistakes. A man who breathed in her skin, her eyes, her soul, it was all so delicate. 

So alluring and fictional, she'd be with him until the universe said 'no mas'. Till her old timed out coral blue eyes seen nothing but bur without a pair of reading glasses, and he still looked like the gorgeous man he timelessly was. 

simply perfection, in both senses of mind.

[fizzingwizard]

Something else I love about Moomins...

When I was a kid, like nine or ten years old, I had a book called What Kay Did. In the book, Katy is a selfish and mean young girl, who falls off a swing and I think breaks her back or something. As a result, she can't walk, and is cooped up inside and miserable. Little by little, she learns how her nasty behavior made her siblings afraid of her and not want to be with her, and now that she can't go out and amuse herself, she's really dependent on them for fun. So she learns to be nice. She becomes almost saintly, really.

Then, near the end of the book, the family finds out that there's a possibility that Katy will be able to walk again. And instead of being happy for her, the siblings say, "But she's become so nice since she got hurt. If she heals, will she be mean again?" Fortunately, Katy both relearns how to walk, and stays nice, so everyone's happy.

I hated this book. And it's not like, as a kid, I wasn't familiar with moralizing children's books where the main character learned a lesson and grew into a better person. I knew exactly what the book was doing. I just hated it. And I also knew that the siblings weren't meant to be interpreted as cold and indifferent for their lack of enthusiasm on hearing Katy might walk again. It's probably realistic even, if you've been bullied by someone before, to worry that a return to the circumstances where they bullied you would trigger it again. Still I hated them. I hated the book for telling me Katy had to behave a certain way for her to deserve to walk. Even though the way she used to be was truly awful. And I hated the book for requiring me to sympathize with the siblings, who had been treated badly by Katy, when what I really thought was that their resistance her recovery, however brief, was worse than anything she'd done to them in the past.

I hated being told what to think. I hated being preached at about right and wrong. And more than anything, I hated that Katy went through a character arc so dramatic that, in the end, she was completely unrecognizable as the girl in chapter one. That was meant to be good thing, because chapter one Katy was an asshole. But even as a kid, I didn't believe people change that much. Katy ended up more or less a saint. Always kind, always giving, always patient. Because of that, her relearning to walk came across like a reward for being a good person.

I haven't picked up this book again since I was a kid. So I may be forgetting important points. It's always possible I'd feel differently as an adult. That's my disclaimer, but i don't really think so. Because it's not like this kind of book was unusual. Another one comes to mind, the title of which I've forgotten, which was about a plate. In the world of plates, if you let just anyone eat off you, you wound up a dirty paper plate no one wanted. But if you waited and remained pure and clean, one day the King himself would change you into a beautiful porcelain plate and you'd be part of his household. It was a metaphor for Christianity and for virginity. It was more preachy BS.

Part of the reason I hated it was because I really took it to heart. I felt that I was horrible like Katy, and that unless I could achieve her saintliness, I would be always coming up short. Every time I committed a sin, even just in my head, I felt like I was back at square one. And I was doomed to fail, because of course it's impossible to be as good as Katy. We can change some. We can strive for self-improvement. But we'll be fighting our demons forever. (And in the book's defense, I believe I remember a scene where Katy admits she still struggles with her temperament later on, but she does her best not to let it affect her siblings.) With the plates, same thing: you can't live a totally pure and clean life. No one can. In Christianity, that's supposed to be a prerequisite for being human: we are all sinners, all of us. The goal is to try your best to live a righteous life and to be humble. But there's so much judgment and so many attacks on people who falter, and so much smug superiority among those who are convinced they are living righteously.

The Moomins books say something completely different. They were about self-acceptance. "All nice things are good for you," Moominmamma says. That would never fly in my Christian children's literature. And it's not like the Moomin book were anti-religious. (on a tangent: I wondered if what Moomintroll left under the fir tree, the thing that he didn't even tell Snufkin about, was meant to be him giving his soul to God on Christmas. It's impossible for me to tell whether I read that story right or if my deeply religious upbringing is screwing with me again.)

The Moomins don't say it's fine to be a bully or it's fine to do things that hurt you or others. But they don't go around breaking your back for being a bully or rejecting you eternally for not doing what you're told. Things happen in Moomins - characters make choices in step with their nature, and although they rub each other the wrong way sometimes, it always turns out that there was this or that reasoning and no one's really right or wrong. They're all just people. Moomins doesn't expect you to ever try to be perfect. And hiding your demons doesn't protect your family from them, rather it creates more distance between you and makes it harder to support each other and feel supported.

Characters in Moomins aren't so dynamic. But they also aren't completely stagnant. No character would undergoes the vast change that Katy did, or the complete transformation of the porcelain plate. Instead, characters are confronted with themselves again and again. And, again and again, they learn to accept themselves warts and all. A hemulen is a hemulen, a fillyonk is a fillyjonk and it's no use for them to try to be anything else, because that's what they are. Sometimes they're fed up with it and yearn to be anyone else. It's only natural, because no one is perfect, so we can always find bits of ourselves to hate. But inevitably they'll miss themselves. It's when characters listen to voices that tell them they're not enough, whether those voices are internal or external, that they become nasty and mean and mistreat each other.

There are no real bad guys in Moomins. We can only wonder what would happen if someone really mean were ever introduced. But the stories aren't missing such a character - they especially aren't missing the chance to chastise their young readers for their imperfections and urge them to be righteous because otherwise, hell awaits. I much prefer the take that everyone has their own personality and temperament and history, which informs their actions, and that most of the difficulties people have with each other come from not respecting that. You can't have a community by forcing everyone to be the same. A community is different people making the same choice to support each other's differences.

Actually, there is one bad guy in Moomins. It's the aunt in "The Invisible Child." Notably, she doesn't feature in the story. The story is about helping Ninny. About Ninny learning that she is important. That she doesn't deserve to be mistreated and degraded, her every misstep nitpicked. That her wants, her needs, her voice matters. Her cruel aunt doesn't matter at all. So she's not part of the story.

And, when Ninny rediscovers who she is, she's praised in this way: "She's even worse than Little My." I wonder how different Katy's story would have been, if she had Little My to knock some sense into her, without also sapping her of her individuality. I bet that plate never would have become porcelain either, but would have enjoyed life in the Moominhouse cupboard just as much.

[iris-sistibly]

GOD! EPISODE 13 IS BITTERSWEET, but I think this is by far the episode where like 80-90% of the scenes were happy. So I love it!

📍I knew they'd find nothing in the panic room, it's kinda frustrating but what's new? At least Hyun-woo had a back-up plan to fuck up Eun-seong and I can't wait for him and his mother to rot in jail. But WAIT--hear me out, if Seul-hee finds out that Eun-seong went to Germany to follow Hae-in, this bitch would be livid and since she sees every member of the Hong family as an obstacle, she'll most likely going to do something to eliminate Hae-in. What if Eun-seong sacrifices himself and dies in the process to save her, then Mo Seul-hee will lose her mind and she'd spend the rest of her remaining days locked up in a mental asylum, alone and lonely. I think that would be a perfect ending for her and Eun-seong don't y'all think?

📍Aunt Beom-ja and hubby number 4 moments, Hae-in and Mama Hong slowly rebuilding their relationship, Baek and Hong parents being besties, Soo-cheol continuing to stand up for his family...I appreciate these little family moments so much I just don't want it to end.

📍Team QOT be blessing us with lots and lots of BaekHong moments!!! Ah, I feel so spoiled as a fan, I never considered their divorce as legit, but more like they went back to the way they were...you know, carefree, happy, being so in-love, making great memories. I love that they re-created the honeymoon scene in episode 1, then the first OST to ever be released (The Reasons of my Smiles by BSS) started playing in the background, it felt so nostalgic to me.

📍I also love the fact that Hae-in's parents, especially her mom didn't argue when Hae-in decided to move-in with Hyun-woo in his apartment. It feels like they are finally giving their full support and blessing for BaekHong to become a married couple. Also, those hubby and wifey moments made me smile a lot!

📍But Hyun-woo once again going above and beyond to make Hae-in happy 🥹🥹🥹 hubby really made the "snow fall in October" so wifey could witness it first hand, then hearing his most genuine laugh when Hae-in confessed that he was his first love was just the best. Those scenes were just so good it made me wish that they could stay like that.

📍But of course, those happy moments won't last because well...who says we can have it all? Now, if this was a typical Kdrama and the lead character would be put in Hae-in's situation, normally we could expect the lead character to take the risk and the other lead as well the people on their side would help her remember or perhaps create new memories. However, I do appreciate the fact that Park Ji-eun didn't romanticize that kind of situation but instead gave us the reality of how complicated it is to be in Hae-in's shoes. It's easy to say, "Oh it's fine Hyun-woo's gonna help her remember," and this guy bless his heart would be willing to do that, but what about Hae-in?

As much as I really, really want her to get the surgery, I do understand why she refused after finding out about the possible side effects. It's not just about losing her memories, it's about losing her loved ones. It's so fucking cruel because if she doesn't take the surgery, they'll lose her, if she does then it's the other way around. She could wake up becoming a completely different person, forgetting about how much she loves her family, her husband and it will hurt them really badly. She loves Hyun-woo so much that she doesn't want to lose that love she has for him in exchange for extending her life. If she loses that love, then what's the point of living? I still do hope for some miracle though, because she deserves to live a long life with Hyun-woo.

ANYWAY, Since episode 14 is coming up I am mentally and emotionally preparing myself for a pretty painful episode. Next week is finale week and I hope, I REALLY hope that BaekHong will get a happy ending they both deserve.