#i knew it wasn't an ''i'm gonna die if i don't go to the hospital'' type medical emergency so i didn't call an ambulance

[yardsards]

living alone is all fun and games til you have a medical emergency and there's no one there to help you to the hospital

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 54 (The Game Tried to Take MY SON!)

cw: toddler peril. I learned a lesson about playing with unpatched mods but I played up a bit of drama despite not accepting what happened as canon. Only shot of Ash is above because more felt gratuitous for something that technically never happened because I reversed it.

The quiet house unnerved him. Conrad knew something wasn't right. He texted Heather, and in less than a minute his phone rang. "I'm sorry I didn't text," she sobbed through the phone. "Ash's daycare called and I...I...I'm at the hospital with him now. Doctors have him sedated."

"What happened?!"

"It was daycare," she repeated. "They said he was on the slide but then they looked away and...and they thought..." She broke down, and Conrad felt her pain through the line. Her fear shook the phone in his grasp.

"It'll be okay. I'm on my way there."

He embraced her when he walked through the door to St. Sims Hospital, and she fell into his arms. "He'll be okay," he assured her, but he didn't know any better.

"How did this happen?" she cried. "What kind of mother lets her son-"

"Stop. This isn't on you."

"If I didn't work so much, I could have been home with him. Maybe I could have..."

He pulled her close, feeling every tense muscle in her rigid body. "This isn't on you," he repeated. "And we're not gonna lose him. We'll all get through this together. We're a team, remember? That means Ash, too."

She was quiet. "Conrad... Do you believe in curses?"

"Like witches?"

She frowned as her thoughts pounded against her skull. "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe mermaids? But Mortimer Goth told me a story once about cursed Landgraabs, and I know how it sounds. But when Ash came along I thought about it a lot more than I should, and then I had to give him their last name. After tonight, I feel sick to my stomach. What if I cursed my son by giving him Malcolm Landgraab for a father?"

"There's no way Ash is cursed," he said quickly. "I know you're scared for him, but curses aren't real and Ash is one of the luckiest kids in the world. He'll get a Landgraab trust fund and he's got you for a mom."

She managed a smile, but when the doctor emerged from the pediatric care unit, she raced over to hear word of her son. "How is he? Oh, Watcher, please let him be okay..."

Dr. Serra smiled. "He hit his head pretty hard, but other than a headache for a few days, we think he's going to be fine. We want to keep him overnight for observation, but he's awake and he's asking for you."

Heather's whole body breathed with relief as she embraced her son's doctor. "Thank you!" she sobbed. "Thank you so much!"

Behind her, Conrad felt his muscles loosen. He'd been so focused on Heather, he didn't even notice his own fear at the thought of Ash in peril. "Thank you, Doctor. We're so grateful."

Dr. Serra smiled. "You must be Conrad. Ash asked for you, too."

Ash would recover quickly, but Heather wasn't so sure about herself. Even with Conrad's unflinching support, she felt torn apart by guilt over her son's near-fatal accident while she'd been working.

She was always working, trying so hard to earn enough to buy out her clinic from Ash's other family. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

WCIF St. Sims Hospital? Sims 4 Gallery build by @pihe89/pihe89. Stunning build, simply put, and very popular (so many copycats). And it comes with a science lab and alien wormhole nbd. Two floors, so many varieties for rooms. Why would I build when people are this talented? It's in a second save and I'll use it again for babies, but hopefully we're not back here for any tragedies anytime soon.

How did this happen?!? Needless to say, Heather's guilt is also mine. I had too many mods and tested fate playing before updating them all! I played some Ultimate Decades Challenge generations and still have the Children and Toddlers Can Die mod installed (I like having options, I guess?), which only kills toddlers with hunger if I'm not mistaken. I was also having some mod issues after the Lovestruck update and didn't realize it until this happened, but the toddler needs bars stayed in the green while their needs deteriorated and I didn't know. Only the toddlers!

So I followed Conrad to work and when he came home Ash was gone and Heather had the 'lost a child' grief moodlet. Cue my internal scream! I revived him instantly with MCCC because this is not UDC and I have plans for this kid! I was so shocked I didn't take any screenshots of the whole disastrous event, but I couldn't pretend it absolutely didn't happen. And honestly the accident ties in with Heather's nagging fears the curse could be real, which is the one unintended benefit of this whole thing.

[h-c-u]

Uncertainty

Summary: You're a 3rd driver for the Mercedes team, in a secret relationship with the team principal and you fill in for Lewis during the race. The car malfunctions, you completely lose control over the steering and can't avoid crashing. And it's bad. 

Pairing: Toto Wolff x fem!driver!reader

W/C: 6.1k

Rating: M. Car crash, talk about injuries and surgeries.

TWs: Car crash, near death injuries

A/N: I swear to gods, my mood when it comes to writing changes so quickly -,- It's dark, sad, and heavy. Also - like 90% of the fic is happening when the reader is in surgery, but the idea just dug it's claws into my brain and didn't want to let go.

Masterlist | List of tags

- Bono, something's wrong with the steering, there is a slight delay in response, and I'm unable to predict how much I should correct. - you were honestly getting scared. You didn't want to lose the 5th position, especially this late in the race. You knew yourself well enough that you could get at least 3rd before the end, but not with a car that behaved like that. 

- I'm running the diagnostic now to see if we'll be able to do something about it remo... FUCK. CRASH. Be careful. - you instantly felt cold, but it wasn't your first time in a dangerous situation. When Bono told you about the crash, you hadn't seen it just yet, because it was hidden behind a turn, and as soon as you turned...

- Breaks are not working. And I completely lost control over the steering. - everything was happening in slow motion, and you couldn't do anything. There was no fancy "eject" button like in a James Bond movie; you were able to just watch and brace for impact. - Bono. I'm going to crash into them. Don't let me die. - you whispered, tears very slowly gathering in your eyes under the helmet. 

You didn't say another word. You didn't swear, you didn't scream. You knew what was about to happen and somehow you managed to remain calm. You just fastened the straps holding you to the seat even more and held your arms close to your chest. 

You heard people screaming over the comms, familiar voices full of panic and desperation but the one voice you were hoping to hear... wasn't there. So whatever others were saying didn't matter. 

And then you were flying. The nose of your car wedged under someone else, and it sent you into a barrel on the track. You closed your eyes, not to get nauseous, but it was a small comfort, especially when the car turned to its side and continued to barrel toward the wall. How you were able to stay conscious for so long - you weren't sure, but then suddenly... there was nothing. 

- TOTO, NO! YOU CAN'T GO THERE! THERE IS PROTOCOL!

- FUCK PROTOCOL!!! - he was trying his best to get from Bono's and Ricardo's strong arms, but they held him steady and didn't let him run out of the garage.

- Medics and the crew are already at the scene. She will be in the ambulance before you get to that part of the track. - James stepped in front of the man, blocking his way, and put his hand on his boss's chest stopping him from moving any further. No one ever saw Toto this distressed. Sure, he could get angry, but this... This was different. - Calm down and think. 

- I... I can't. - his shoulders slumped and even though he wasn't trashing and trying to get out anymore, his thoughts were galloping at the speed of light, running through every possible scenario. - I just can't... - Bono and Ric loosened their grip on his body and exchanged a worried look with the technical director. - I don't know what to do... - he admitted, his voice completely broken. 

- We're gonna get to the hospital and we'll go from there. - James realized it was his turn to think about everything, and even though he didn't completely understand why Toto reacted this way - he wanted to help in whatever way he could. All of the people in the garage were shaken up, but this... This was new. Toto was oozing fear and desperation from everywhere. His posture, his voice, the frantic look in his eyes... - Toto. - the technical director wasn't sure if his words even reached his friend, but Wolff finally nodded slowly. - Yeah...? - he made sure. 

- Yeah. Hospital. Let's go. - he whispered eventually. He was in no condition to drive, so he let his friend do that. He didn't take his eyes from the view behind the window once, even though he was seeing none of what they were passing. He dug his nails into his knees, bit his lower lip until he drew blood, and tried his best not to break down completely. Not before he knew if you were dead or alive. 

When they arrived at the hospital, Toto didn't even wait for James to park properly, he was out of the car as soon as they reached the entrance. He run into the emergency room and quickly located the admission desk, but before he said anything, he took one last, deep breath. 

- Hello, my name is Toto Wolff. I'm the emergency contact for Y/n Y/l/n. I would like to know in what condition she's in. - his voice was surprisingly calm. Even in such a state, he knew that whatever happened wasn't the nurses' fault and he didn't want to take out whatever he felt on them. 

- I have to confirm your identity first. Can I see your ID? - the old nurse asked, but she was already typing something on the keyboard. Toto frantically patted his pockets in search of a wallet, momentarily mortified, because he got afraid that he left it in his bag, in the garage, but James came to his rescue with said wallet. He quickly fished out his ID and presented it to the nurse. 

- She was admitted about 10 minutes ago and is being prepped for the surgery. She already had a head CT, but there are no results yet. There is also no information about planned procedures. - she explained with a soft tone, even though the news she was sharing wasn't exactly... good. 

- What does it mean...? - Toto asked, fearing the worst. 

- It means there was a head injury and she's unconscious. They don't know exactly what's wrong, but it's serious enough for emergency surgery with neuro, orthopedic and cardiothoracic surgeons. - she added, quieter. Sure, she could have omitted a few facts, but something told her that it would have the opposite effect on the man in front of her. 

- Her... Her heart...? - if he weren’t holding the high counter in front of the admission desk, he would have slumped to the floor. 

- Or lungs. - she clarified. - I'm sorry I can't give you better news... But she's in the best hands in the country. I will ask one of our interns to take you to a waiting room... - she waved at one of the young men, who was currently filling out papers, and quickly told him what to do. - And sir... - she added, just when they were about to leave the area. - It will be a long surgery, but the longer the wait, the better. It means that she's still fighting. - that was the first thing that gave him hope... You were still alive. Still fighting. And you weren't the type of person who easily gave up. 

Toto Wolff was not a religious man. He honestly couldn't remember when was the last time he visited any place of worship, but now... Now he was going through every prayer he knew. He begged every god, every angel, every demon, every saint he could think of, not to let you die, and if that's necessary - to take him instead. Logically he knew that wasn't possible, but he was willing to try everything, no matter how stupid it seemed at the moment.

James left his side only once, to get some shitty coffee from the machine, but it was left untouched in between Toto's feet. He didn't know what to say, what to do... Other people came and went. The pit crew, engineers, other team principals, drivers... A few stayed. Mostly other drivers, and from the closer circle - James, Bono, George... And Lewis - without even saying a word was on a video call with Bono, feeling extremely guilty. 

- Did... - George finally broke the silence. - Did anyone call her family? - he asked, and Toto just clenched his fists. 

- She doesn't have one. - he whispered eventually. - She's an only child and went no-contact with her parents just as she started racing. - he added and the others looked at him trying to hide the surprise. - She will kill anyone who’ll let them know about anything even remotely connected to her life. So as far as things go... she doesn't have a family. - he ended in a harsher tone than he intended and almost immediately sighed. 

He was still in the clothes he was wearing during the race... The track pass was tucked in the pocket on his chest, and the headphones were still around his neck, but he didn't even notice them, and no one in the room dared to say a word. 

Just as three hours passed since they arrived, a young-looking woman called out your last name, and the four men immediately stood up, three with hope, one in fear, because it was much too quick for the surgery to end. 

- Hello, my name is Alex and I'm one of the residents helping with your... - she stuttered for a second, realizing she didn't know the relationship between her patient and the men in the waiting room. - With Y/n's surgery. We were able to stop the bleeding in her brain and remove all the debris lodged there without major issues. The head of neurosurgery is currently reversing all four of the aneurysms, but compared to what we already did - it's the easiest thing. - she started explaining and everyone except Toto sighed with relief. 

- What else...? - he asked, afraid of the further news. - Please tell us everything, no matter how small or ugly. I need to know... - he pleaded, and James put his hand on his boss’s shoulder. There was some hesitation on the young doctor’s face, but eventually, she continued. 

- Eight of her ribs are broken... Two of them were lodged in her right lung and the cardiothoracic surgeon was able to remove one and is working on the second. One pierced her kidney, but due to the positioning... The lungs take priority. Her spinal cord is intact, but three of the lumbar vertebrae are fractured and we will have to realign them later. Her right femur is broken in six places, left in two and our head of ortho is currently working on that. Both of her tibias and feet are by some miracle intact. All the bones in her shoulders, arms, forearms, wrists, and hands are also free of any injuries. She didn't sustain any burns or lacerations because of the suit, which will help during her recovery. - with every word the relief disappeared more and more from the men's faces, and Toto's lips became almost invisible. 

- Her heart...? - he asked eventually. 

- Intact and strong. She's not on any assistance during the surgery, although we're ready for that if the need arises. She's a fighter. - the young doctor added with a gentle smile. 

- You've mentioned her recovery... Does that mean...? - he was afraid to finish the question, especially when he saw Alex's face drop just a little.

- I... I shouldn't have said that. I can't promise you any type of outcome, especially with such severe injuries. - her voice softened. - We know what's wrong. We know how to fix it. And we will do our best to do so. Three of the best surgeons in the country are currently working together to keep her alive, so objectively - the chances of success are high. But I can't promise you that everything will be perfect. – Toto nodded, acknowledging the situation. 

- Thank you for taking the time to explain everything to us. - he whispered, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. - Would it be too much if I asked for an update after every major stage? Doesn't matter if good or bad... I just need to know... - George was the one to notice how shaky Toto truly was, so he helped him sit down, so the man wouldn't fall over. 

- It wouldn't be too much at all. I was planning to do so anyway... But it... - she started, but Wolff cut her off.

- It's gonna be a long surgery, I was told. I will be here. - his voice was stronger than his body, and the young doctor gave him one last smile before she turned around and went back to the operating block. 

None of the men knew what to say, so they just sat in silence, trying to process what has happened. 

There was a moment when George started quietly sobbing, and without even thinking, Toto put his arm around him and pulled him into a hug, trying to give him the comfort he so desperately needed himself. But the only person who could give it to him was currently lying cut open on the operating table. 

- George, you officially got second place with 18 points... - James eventually broke the silence, but none of them were able to say after how long, because time had become something immeasurable. - Congratulations... - he added, but that was the last thing on young driver's mind. Few other drivers in the waiting room took out their phones to check the results, but in the end - there were more important things than that. 

- Holly shit. - someone whispered and almost immediately added. - Y/n crashed after the red flag. She got 5th. With the fastest lap. - all heads turned to Carlos, who was sitting on the floor. Even Toto couldn't believe what he just heard. He knew you were good, damn... He believed in you since day one, that's why he was so quick to sign you. And now... Now Y/n Y/l/n was officially the first woman since 1975 who scored points in F1, which was a historical achievement. 

- She got 11 points... - James confirmed after checking his email once again. And then there was silence again. There should be a celebration, all of them knew that. And even though someone will contest that, because technically you wouldn't be able to finish the race if it were resumed, and your team would fight tooth and nail for that not to be taken away... But for now, in the official FIA statement, you finished in 5th place. 

There were some murmurs and whispers, but none of it mattered to Toto more than you actually living, so when he saw the familiar face of a young doctor again, he almost jumped from his seat. 

- Hello again... - she smiled, which he took as a good sign. - The orthopedic surgeon finished working on her legs and we were able to close them. There was no additional damage to the thigh muscles, so we didn't have to take any part of them, which means that she will be able to regain a full range of movements, in time of course. The neurosurgeon just finished reversing the aneurysms, and the new head CT didn't show any additional injuries, so we will be able to slowly close her skull as well. We were also able to remove the other rib from her lung, and the head of cardio is currently working on repairing her right lung, but we don't know for sure if it is viable, which means... - she stopped for a moment, not sure how the man in front of her would react to such news. 

- That there is a chance you will have to remove it. But she could live with just one lung, right? - he made sure.

- With some restrictions, but yes. 

- Then in the end it doesn't matter. How about her kidney and spine? - he asked, eager to know more. 

- The kidney is being worked on as we speak, but the spine... - she stopped for a moment, trying to find the best words to explain the situation to someone unfamiliar with medical jargon. - The best way to get to the lumbar vertebrae would be from the back, which would require a change of position. And since the injuries on the front of her body are so extensive, the new position might be dangerous for her, so there will be benefits to closing her up, letting the body rest and regenerate for a few days, and proceeding with second surgery later in a week. 

- Wouldn't leaving it as it is, be dangerous as well? I mean - is there a chance of the fragments moving and injuring her spinal cord?

- That's exactly why we haven't decided on the best course of action just yet. We still have to finish working on her kidney, lung, and ribs, while the neurosurgeon assesses which option would be the safest and does more scans to see if going from the front would be possible. It's unconventional, but it has been successfully done. - she explained and Toto nodded. 

- Thank you for explaining that to me... - she just smiled gently and walked away. 

It was the first time he looked at the clock, and it was almost midnight, but he didn't feel that at all. Time was weird, because he felt like the crash had happened just a few seconds ago, and at the same time as if centuries passed since he saw your car barreling down the track. And then he heard an unfamiliar voice calling out your name. He instantly turned around in that direction and saw a medical responder in full gear. She repeated your name once again and Toto finally put his hand up. 

She quickly came closer and sat in front of him.

- Good evening, sir... I was one of the first responders to the crash, and I was responsible for intubating Y/n. - she started explaining, and Toto was too exhausted to ask what it was about, or even to introduce himself. - But before I did that... She was awake for just a moment. And she asked me to pass the message, the problem is... I don't know to whom. - it was like he caught a second wind because he instantly focused on the woman in front of him. 

- What did she say...? - he asked, leaning forward. He knew everyone was listening, but he didn't care. 

- She said... "Why didn't I say it back... Please tell him that I love him." - Toto blinked a few times as if the words had trouble reaching him, but when they finally did... He started to laugh like a maniac, and everyone looked at him in worry that he actually snapped or went crazy.

Earlier today, when you were both just waking up with the first rays of sunshine peeking over the horizon, he said those three magic words for the first time... Three words, eight letters... He didn't expect anything in return, because he knew how hard expressing any emotions came to you, but it was important to him to assure you that he, indeed, loved you and wasn't planning to go anywhere. He also knew that you loved him, because you had your own way of showing that to him... 

So, to hear that when you were convinced you were dying, the last thought in your mind was telling him something he already knew for a while was... a bit absurd. But then it hit him... You did that because you thought that he didn't know you loved him. And your possible last thought was letting him know that you weren't in it just for fun, that you were serious about your relationship. And that made him freeze. 

- Sir...? - the lady in front of him reached to touch him but stopped last second. 

- I'm sorry... I know who that message was for... Thank you for passing it on. - he gave her a weak smile, and she just nodded. - And thank you for what you did for her... It means a lot to me. - he added quieter, and just like that, she was gone. 

The atmosphere in the waiting room was still extremely tense, but that didn't stop a few of the drivers from dozing off. Someone even ordered pizzas, but Toto didn't move... He didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't say anything... He was a shell of himself while his heart was being cut open, stabbed, prodded, and stitched back up on the operating table just a few meters away. 

And while at first people were brushing it off as a team principal caring for his driver, the few closest to him realized that there was more. Finally, Bono had enough and sat right next to him.

- How long...? - he whispered quietly enough that no one else was able to hear. 

- I don't know what... - Toto immediately wanted to deny everything and play stupid, but one look from his friend and he folded. - 5 months... - he said, barely any sound leaving his lips. 

- And the thing the paramedic said...? - he asked, but only got a nod in reply. - Shiiiiiiit... - this time Toto looked at him confused. - I lost the betting pool.

- What? 

- We have... Well, now had... A betting pool because we noticed that you were much happier for quite some time. The most popular option was antidepressants, and I bet on that, not gonna lie. - Toto just blinked a few times, still trying to process what was being said. - There was also a winning streak, therapy, someone you hated dying, that you got laid, but Lewis was the only one that bet on a new relationship. I mean - there were a few more people who bet on the relationship, but Lewis nailed the 5 months. - Toto still couldn't believe what he was hearing, but somehow, the absurdity of the situation helped him relax just a little.

- You make bets... about my private life? - he was genuinely curious if it was the first time. 

- Well... Yeah. Because you're all mysterious and shit. It's easy to make up some crazy stories just for fun. - Bono just shrugged. - None of us suspected that you and her... I mean, in public, you were equally close with... - he stopped and pointed with his chin in the direction of the familiar face in blue scrubs. 

- We were able to save the lung and a kidney. All ribs are secured in their places. - Toto sighed with relief for the first time since he saw the car tumbling on the tracks. - The head of neuro managed to find a way to repair the vertebrae from the front, but it will be a long procedure. The angle he has to go in from is very unusual and taxing, but we will be able to do everything today. Her vitals are stable, her heart is strong... She's doing well, sir. We still don't know the extent of her brain injury, which will have to wait till she wakes up, but we are optimistic that she will. - she smiled softly and gently squeezed his arm. 

- Thank you... - and with that, she was gone again, and Toto looked around the waiting room... It was almost 3 AM, and the surgery started... around 10 hours ago. And yet the whole younger generation of drivers was here, most of them still in gear... Some were on the uncomfortable chairs, some quietly talking, and few even fell asleep on the floor. Even though you were all competitors, and you weren't even a full-seat driver yet, they still respected you and your skills a lot. - Guys, I think you should go back to your hotels and get some sleep... Or just rest... I'll let you know in the morning how the surgery went. - few heads turned in his direction, but no one moved. Lando finally broke the silence. 

- With all due respect sir, she wouldn't leave any of us... - Toto couldn't help but feel... pride. Not just for you, but for them. Just 10 years ago this type of situation wouldn't be possible... After the crash, maybe one or two drivers, who were the closest to the injured one, would be in the hospital, but never for this long... And never this many... They were good kids, and it meant that the times were changing. 

- I can't disagree with that... - he smiled. - Thank you all. - he added and sat right back. Now, that most of your injuries were under control, he let himself think of anything else, and that turned out to be those boys behind him. He quickly wrote a few messages to the other team principals, letting them know where most of their drivers were and asking them to arrange at least a change of clothes, because the majority of them still had sensors under their gear, and that must have been uncomfortable. He also took time to bring every single one of them a cup of that awfully sweet hot chocolate and spent a few minutes talking with them one on one about whatever they needed to get off their chests. And next to being worried about you, most of them were scared... 

It took a while, but he finally came back to his original chair and for the first time - leaned back in it and stretched, but that wasn't near enough for him to release all the tension collected in his body. But now... Now he allowed himself to hope. 

The next time he saw Alex, she was with another doctor, and it was already getting bright outside. All of the drivers - now in regular clothing - were sleeping on each other in different combinations, and only George was awake beside himself. 

- The operation was a success... - she started, and Toto felt as if someone finally took the weight of the whole world from his shoulders, the relief of it forcing tears out of his eyes. - She's already stitched up, and soon we will move her to a recovery room, where you will be able to see her - for the first few hours, just through the glass and then in person. - you lived. That's all that mattered. - She will be in a medically induced coma for at least a few days to prevent her brain from swelling more. We will continue monitoring her, and based on the results we will decide when will be the best time to wake her up. - the young doctor explained and when she looked over the waiting room, she added. - She... She's stable, but she doesn't look well... - the tone of her voice was enough to convey what she really wanted to say. 

- They won't take no for an answer... They will want to see her. - he quietly said. - They look young, well, they are young... It's hard to explain, but they need to see her. They need to see for themselves that she's alive... - Alex looked at the older doctor who gave silent permission. - Thank you for all you did... For saving her...

- I can take you to see her now, but the rest... Groups of 3 the most. - Toto nodded and another sigh of relief escaped his chest. He still couldn't believe what happened. When he saw the crash, he was mentally preparing for the funeral, but now... Now you were alive. Still extremely injured and with months if not years of therapy in front of you, but you were alive. Fuck everything else. 

- Can you give me a minute...? I'd like to tell them myself. - he explained and after getting a quiet “sure”, he went first to Bono and James, who were sleeping in the chairs next to each other, and very quickly explained what he just heard. After that, he went around the room and quietly told everyone else. Some of the younger ones immediately started crying from relief, and he couldn't blame them, because he did the exact same, so he just pulled them into a wordless hug until they calmed down. It definitely took more than a minute, and he felt a bit bad for keeping the young doctor awake, but when he took a quick look in her direction, she smiled at him, letting him know that he can take as long as he needs. This was definitely an unusual situation. 

But eventually, everyone was up to speed, and the atmosphere in the room relaxed a bit. There were even a few awkward laughs, but Toto wasn't there to hear them. He was walking a couple of steps behind the young doctor who was kind enough to update him over the last fifteen hours, and he tried to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to see. You were alive. That's all that mattered. 

It wouldn't be the first time he saw someone after the crash, hell - he was in one himself. Albeit not such a serious one... He was around the track long enough to know that even the nonlethal injuries weren't pretty, he saw what could happen to drivers who either weren't careful, skillful, or lucky enough. But you were definitely careful and skillful enough. But today, well... yesterday. You didn't have enough luck. A mechanical failure. Two of the things that had so many fail-safes, he wasn't sure he could count that high. But somehow all of them failed... He knew there would be an investigation, but that didn't matter. Because you were alive. 

So, when he finally saw you through the thick glass... He broke. He had to hold himself on the metal barrier in front of the window just not to fall over, and the young doctor put his arm under his, trying to assist him until he'd be able to stand straight. You looked so small connected to all the heavy machinery in the room. A thick tube down your throat, a bag of full blood connected to the IV port in your arm, all the cables coming from under the bandages on your chest... The draining tubes coming from under the bandages on your thighs... Your face was swollen, with bruises in multiple places, and your head was shaved and covered in bandages. He couldn't help but laugh at that one detail... You wanted to shave your head for ages but never found the right moment with all the press and photoshoots. 

And your hands... Somehow, they didn't fit the picture... They were pristine, not counting the IVs... No bruises, no bandages, no anything... Your long fingers looked exactly the same as they did this morning when you intertwined them with his, just as he was about to tell you he loves you.

- I'm sorry, it's just... - he started, but he couldn't finish, so he just rested his forehead on the cold glass in front of him, trying so hard not to let tears into his eyes.

- It can be a lot, seeing a loved one like this... I understand... 

- She's alive... - he failed. He tried to convince himself that it was enough, but seeing you like that... So small, so... weak. It hit him. He wouldn't be able to live without seeing you wildly dance on the roof of one of the many hotels you stayed in during the racing season... Without hearing your broken singing from under the shower in the morning... Without your contagious laughter at something stupid, he said... He needed you more than he needed to breathe, and it scared him. 

He wiped the tears with the back of his hand, straighten his posture, and did his best to compose himself. Not for himself, but for the people who were about to see you like that. You lived... and for now that had to be enough. 

He didn't leave your room since he was allowed to enter it for the first time... Sitting at your bed, holding your hand, putting on the music he knew you'd like, reading aloud... And with every passing day, you started looking... stronger. The color started returning to your skin, and the bruising and swelling on your face slowly started healing. The drivers kept visiting you, and when they had to leave to prepare for the next race - they kept sending you gifts. 

Lewis stayed the longest after he finally got well enough to leave his room... He spent the entire day at your side, holding your hand, apologizing profusely, and praying... And after he didn't have any more tears left in him, he started telling you stories he knew you'd love. He was also the one to bring that perfume you bought in Egypt and which you absolutely adored; he put a drop of it behind your ears and on your wrists and left the bottle on the nightstand. 

George was the one to take it the hardest... Even though he tried his best not to show it when he was visiting, Toto knew. He knew how close the two of you were, and all the crazy adventures you shared. You were like siblings on crack and the things you could get into when let out of the bullpen... He honestly couldn't believe that you haven't been arrested yet for some of the stuff you pulled... That's why the last time he visited before leaving the UK, Toto suggested talking to a therapist and George agreed.

It took more than the few days Alex mentioned after the surgery, but the decision to wake you up was finally made a bit over two weeks after the crash. And he felt like a babe in the woods the whole morning; happy that the medication will be out of your system, but afraid of what would happen if you didn't wake up.

Alex was the one who sat with the both of you in the room, watching your vitals like a hawk, and as soon as she saw any change, she explained to Toto what exactly it meant. Around noon, she made the decision to stop intubating you, because it looked like your brain took over that function. She of course was ready with a new tube, just in case, but it ended up not being necessary; even though one of your lungs wasn't fully healed, enough oxygen was getting to your brain. 

Around noon he started to get antsy, but Alex quickly calmed him down and explained again that it might take even a few days because there is no way to tell how your brain would react. It didn't help much, but having someone to answer his every question was a godsend because he wasn't able to think about worst-case scenarios when there was a professional who said otherwise. 

He wasn't able to eat, but he didn't care... He didn't want to miss the moment when you woke up. But the day ended and nothing changed. In the evening one of the other residents took over for Alex, but Toto still didn't move and didn't let go of your hand. Not even when he rested his head on the bed next to your legs for just a moment. But the moment became a bit longer when he closed his eyes...

A familiar sensation woke him up... Long, cold fingers running through his hair, and he couldn't help but smile, at first - not realizing what it meant. But then it hit him. His eyes shot open, and he immediately sat up. 

Your beautiful eyes were open and full of tears, while your hand found his, and squeezed it tightly. 

- You're awake... - he whispered the obvious... - She's awake! Get a doctor here! - he shouted when he realized you two were alone in the room.

You tried to say something, but the words stuck in your throat due to pain.

- Shhh... Don't say anything just yet... You were intubated and the doctors said it might take some time for it to heal... - he said, without even noticing he started crying, but you decided to ignore him; your determination was much stronger than a little bit of pain. Well, ok... More than a little bit. 

- I... - you started, but the rest of the sentence didn't want to come out...

- I love you... And I know you love me too... I have known it for a while now. You never had to say it... I knew... - he said, brought your hand to his lips, and started pressing soft kisses to the back of it. You extended your finger to wipe one of the tears from his cheek, and his other hand quickly followed, wiping the rest. You looked around the room and noticed all the flowers, the teddy bears, the toys... There was even a... Tamagotchi...? And a brand-new Nintendo Switch...? 

You looked back at Toto with a question painted on your face. 

- The other drivers brought most of this stuff... They still keep sending things even though... - you nudged your head forward, urging him to continue. - Even though they had to leave for the next race. The accident was over two weeks ago, I'll explain everything later, I promise... But now the doctors will have to run some tests, ok...? - you nodded in response and shifted your gaze to the doctors that came into the room just a moment ago. They started simple, asking you to follow the light with your eyes and look in certain directions. And you did whatever they asked, not letting go of Toto's hand. 

You were scared and in pain... But somehow you knew everything will be all right, because despite everything - you weren't alone. And that was certain. 

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

[yurislotusgarden]

pm!dazai for the event and 23?

ʚїɞ Port mafia!Dazai Osamu x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 751

ʚїɞ Tw’s: very small mention of death but it's Dazai so what do you expect

ʚїɞ Just Dazai getting used to this thing called feelings lmao, it isn't really mentioned that it's pm!Dazai but yeah... also I have no excuse for not posting for a month, simply didn't feel like writing🤷‍♀️

ʚїɞ anon if you will see this after all these months that this has been in my inbox, I'm sorry for how long this took, but I'm gonna write all the event works I never did😭

ʚїɞ 23: Moving the other one by their waist / the event this is from

He would really appreciate it.

He would really appreciate you not standing up on that unstable stool. He may have not voiced it out, but he really dislikes the idea of you falling over and hurting yourself, he would probably laugh if it was anyone else, but not you.

You were currently getting ingredients out of a higher cupboard, the things you were reaching for were things you didn’t use often to cook, so he could say that it made sense that they were up there, but couldn’t you stand on something more stable? Is that really too much to ask?

“You already took a few things out, isn't that all that you need?” He was hoping that the thing you took out just a moment ago was the last one.

“Nope! I still need one more thing.” It seems life hated him more than he thought.

He did plan on just staying in place and letting you get that one last ingredient, but then the stool decided to be a bitch and scare both of you (not like you knew it scared him) by swaying in a way that a stool for sure damn shouldn't. You didn't fall, no, you simply gripped onto the shelf in front of you until it stabilized, but it was more than enough to make Dazai freak out internally and get him to move after having enough of the whole situation.

It was obvious to him that you were trying to decide whether you should get that last thing or just get down, but he didn't give you time to think before he wrapped his arms around your waist and simply made you get down by pulling you backward, and then setting you down on the floor.

“You're gonna end up dead because of something absolutely stupid, you know that?”

“No, I won't. Besides, falling from that stool wouldn't kill me.”

“Delusional.”

“Look who's talking.”

“You little shit!”

“I may be shorter but don't call me that!”

Maybe he's the one who's gonna end up dead because of something stupid, and that thing may just be you.

He sighed quietly. He still wasn't used to this shit called feelings.

“Even if you didn't die from that, you would still hurt yourself and would probably have to go to a hospital.”

“...”

No answer? 

“What? Did a small fact shut you up so quickly?”

“...You care whether I will land in a hospital or not?” It was just an innocent question, and yet it was more than enough to get him to feel strangely warm and his heart to speed up somewhat. Jesus, you’re gonna be the death of him someday.

“Dazai?”

Oh shit. Don't look up at him like that, you're gonna kill him. 

“No, I simply don't need your parents on my ass-”

“No no no, I saw the look in your eyes, you idiot! You're worried even about the idea of me getting hurt, don't you?” The grin on your face has to be infectious right? Maybe a hidden ability he didn't know about? Because there was no way that he wanted to smile just because you did.

“You're actually crazy [Name], did you ever think about applying for a mental hospital?”

“Did you think of doing that yourself?”

“I- what the fuck?!” He was lowkey speechless inside, but you didn't need to know that. Why didn't he expect that response? It was so damn easy to predict that you would say that back!

“Wait, what do you mean you saw it in my eyes?” It was surprisingly a genuine question. His eyes were like a bottomless void, there was nothing that one could see in them, so how did you see anything like care?

You chuckled softly under your breath as if you could read his thoughts, and he didn't know if he liked that thought or not. “Eyes are the door to the soul, no?”

The door to the soul that he was sure he didn't have.

“By the way, can you let go of my waist now?”

“Hm? Yeah, of course.” The calm tone of his words did not reflect what he felt internally at the moment.

Shit. Fuck. He didn't let go of your waist the entire time. He wished that someone would just shoot him in that moment to save him from the embarrassment that he felt.

.

.

.

…He would lie to himself if he said that it didn't feel nice to hold you so close to him though.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

What do you think would happen if Rook took a bullet for Auron? Not one that would kill them, just major injury wise.

Bullet wounds.

Rook saw the gun and knew if they didn't react quickly Auron would have died. Turning quickly they were in front of Auron shielding him, then screamed as the bullet hit their back. Auron held them tightly trying to find where they got hit, his mind was flooding of thoughts that they were going to die. A guard that was there hurried and tackled the guy with the gun, pinning him down as their boss looked over his partner.

"It...fuck this hurts to fucking much! I got hit in the shoulder-" Tears weld in their eyes as they clutched their shoulder trying to ease the pain. Auron didn't even realize he was yelling as he held them close.

"GET THAT FUCKING DOCTOR HERE NOW!" Screaming as he could only register that Rook was hurt. He felt their head fall on his shoulder and they looked at him tired with droopy eyes.

"Hey remember when I said I'd take a bullet for you?" The red head was stressing even more when those words were said and just nodded. "Kinda wanna take it back because this hurts so, so bad holy shit dude." If the situation wasn't shitty Auron might have laughed. But right now he's still panicking wondering if they were gonna die.

"Rook you need to stay awake okay?" Lightly tapping their cheek he tried to make conversation with them. "Remember asking me about that date idea? Where we go and paint pots or something? We can do that if you want? Please don't sleep, fuck I think I'm gonna cry." Whispering the last part he finally was able to breath when the doctor got to his location.

After the doctor stabilized Rook they were able to take a nap, not before telling Auron something. "Sorry for not listening again. You told me not to come and I did anyways." Mumbling out the words they held his hand, Auron didn't say anything. But Rook knows what he was thinking of; how to kill the man that shot them. Rook was really tired so they decided it was time to take a nap.

The doctor sighed heavily and turned to her boss "They are okay, just tired from all the blood lost. I'll take them to the hospital to give them more blood. Luckily I was able to close the wound so I don't have to worry about them bleeding out. Their shoulder will be out of commission for a while so they'll have to stay at the hospital." Auron didn't hear anything, his own blood was rushing in his ear as he turned to the guard and the fucker he was pinning down.

"Get them anything they need. Ill leave them with you, I need to finish something." Doctor Sandy nodded and hurried Rook into the car she brought with her. She almost felt bad for the other guy, he was going to be slaughtered by a monster.

[cosmicobubisi]

Cosmic's Malleyuu Whump vs Flufftober: Day 30

RECOVERY hospital bed | holding back tears / "Forever?"

"And do you recall when-"

"Shhh. Keep it down, the hour is late."

Vil and Leona were sitting next to Yuu's sickbed in the infirmary, cracking jokes as they had been for the past hour.

It felt like just about everyone in the school had visited them bedside- most frequently, it had been a rotating carousel of their friend group, but almost everyone they knew, and a few people they didn't had stopped by for a chat.

Yuu had expected it to be exhausting, and it had been, a little, but they found hospital life surprisingly boring. When they weren't sleeping, the only thing it seemed they could do was stare at the ceiling in boredom, their concussion preventing most activities that required focus.

Right now, it was Vil and Leona keeping them company, Vil animatedly recounting a hiking expedition the two of them had been on as second-years, and he hadn't taken kindly to Leona's insinuation that he was being too loud.

Vil shot daggers at the beastman, who ignored him.

"And yeah, I do, if you're talking about that time when Diamond accidentally pitched himself over the edge of the pond leanin' back too far takin' a photo," said Leona.

"He did what?!" guffawed Yuu, disregarding the earlier reminder as they chortled, only muffling their sounds after a moment.

"It was awful for him," Vil sighed, a bit dramatically, fingertips draped over his chest. "He looked like a drowned cat."

"I think that was more the loss of his phone," grumbled Leona from the corner of his mouth. "He did make a pretty sorry sight, I'll give you that."

Yuu tried to let out the last of their residual giggles as quietly as they could, sides hurting from the effort.

"I'm not gonna be able to look at him without thinking of-" Yuu was cut off by their own laughs, the little devils having started up again at the reminder of the story.

Leona snickered. "Me neither," he concurred, leaning back in the chair as he folded his arms.

Vil just shook his head.

"I do fear you were right, Leona," said Vil, smoothing out the wrinkles in his clothes as he stood. "We should be going."

Yuu pursed their lips in childish frustration, but in truth, they relished the end.

Of the day, that was. Their concussion and other injuries, for which they were no longer being given the strongest tier of medication, made it tiring to stay awake, and so Yuu was anticipating sleep eagerly.

With the heaving sigh of a much older man, which Yuu suspected was exaggerated, Leona slapped his hands on his legs and stood up from the chair.

"The herbivore's right," he said to Yuu's sallow expression.

"Awwww," groaned Yuu. "But I'm bored."

"We'll be back tomorrow," said Vil. "Please, try to get some rest. You body needs as much energy as it can get if you're to heal your body, and your mind."

Yuu gave them a watery smile as they left, but before Yuu could truly tuck in, Leona returned.

They were about to ask what he needed, if maybe he'd forgotten something, before Leona leaned his head down right next to Yuu's ear.

"Don't dawdle," he gruffed. "Make a move."

Then he was gone, and Yuu was left all alone.

After a moment, they craned their neck up to look at the only other bed that was filled in this section of the infirmary.

It was actually surrounded by curtains on racks, but the shadows told Yuu the only person who would be in there at this hour was.

With a little adjusting, they got out of the bed and rolled it over to Malleus's. It wasn't possible to Yuu to move without the cumbersome burden right now, because they were chained to it.

So was Malleus, for the record, though his charges were quite a bit more serious. As it turned out, they'd both broken an assortment of magical laws in their respective overblots.

Given their injuries, it had been advised that they be held in the school's infirmary, lest they die before sentencing. As far as jail cells went, it wasn't so bad.

Yuu quietly pushed their rickety bed, trying not to wake Grim, before parting the curtains to Malleus's little room.

He looked totally despondent. That's the only way Yuu could describe him, lying half-melted into the bed.

"Hey," said Yuu softly, and he slowly creaked his head to look at them. Yuu could see the deep bags under his eyes, and the many bandages that wrapped his body didn't look particularly comfortable.

"Can I get in?" asked Yuu, and Malleus shrugged.

They knew he was just being sour. At least, that's what they hoped. It had all been quite the ordeal for Malleus, and they knew he had a tendency to put up his walls when hurt.

Yuu didn't get in, wanting it to be well and truly Malleus's decision.

"Have you gotten many visitors?" they asked instead, despite already knowing the answer.

Malleus nodded. "Silver and Lilia have been by, but the majority of my time has been taken up by Sebek."

"That's good," Yuu said placatingly.

Yuu knew. Oh, how they knew. By now, the sound of his voice endlessly droning on was wired into the very being of Yuu's brain, seemingly finding himself a chatterbox at the injury of his master.

At least it was some level of social interaction, and for this reason Yuu couldn't stay irritated for long, even as they wished to never hear his voice again.

They didn't know what they were doing here. Malleus was obviously despondent, unable to be roused from his depression.

Yuu just had to see him again. There had been this burning desire all week, and they supposed it was finally quenched. He didn't look to be in the mood for talking all that much, anyway, and so Yuu decided it was time to call it a night.

"Well," they whispered softly. "Have a good night."

They turned to walk themselves back to their spot before feeling an icy hand grip them, and in the next moment, Yuu's gravity had changed.

Suddenly, they were lying in the crook of Malleus's arm, freed from the handcuffs.

They squeaked in surprise, but Malleus simply rolled over onto his side, cuff rattling against the bars.

That reminded Yuu that they were currently free, their wrist unshackled from the manacle.

With nothing to tug on it, Yuu instinctively hugged Malleus, who responded by rolling over and trapping them on the bed.

"My therapist says I need to be more open with my feelings if I want to grow as a person," he said, straight into their ear.

Yuu could feel his warmth seeping in through their thin clothes. His arms kept them locked firmly in place, as Malleus found his new home in their neck and buried himself there.

"And I have strong feelings for you," he mumbled sleepily, "so promise to stay with me now, and we can discuss forever later."

Yuu didn't know how to answer at first.

"F-forever?" they stammered out.

"Forever," he sighed onto their skin.

Yuu lay still, hearing Malleus's breath even out as quiet settled over the hospital room.

"I have strong feelings for you too," they whispered, "and I'll stay as long as I can."

Reaching up to pat his cheek, Yuu closed their own eyes.

[hollowboobtheory]

ok you know the whole "teenagers think they know everything" deal. yeah when i was a teenager i thought that was bullshit, i thought well obvioiusly i don't know everything, there's alway gonna be more stuff learn about, but then as i grew up and got more into my twenties i realized yeah, no i kind of did think i knew everything, just in a different sense than what all the adults saying that meant. like rationally i knew that my persepective was limited to my own experiences but i had a general attitude that i knew what i needed to know and that i generally understood what the world was like, and i was wrong because i was a relatively sheltered white middle-class child. rationally i knew that there were things i didn't know but i hadn't fully internalized just how much there was to the world that i hadn't, still haven't, and will never experience. i did in fact think i knew everything.

anyway so same deal with "twentysomethings think they're gonna live forever" i was like god i fucking hope not but yeah no this was once again an issue of rationally knowing that i am mortal and my heart will stop beating someday possibly even by my own hand vs fully internalizing that i am going to die and it probably won't be on my own terms. i will probably have no say over when i go and i'm not immune to cancer or heart disease or organ failure or any of the shit million horrifying things that can go wrong with the human body. and that's a lesson i learned just this week in the hospital. yeah even the cancer diagnosis wasn't enough for it to fully sink in i had to be miserable in a hospital for a week to get the message and i think that's because even when it was very scary to hear the C-Word and know that i had it, i still felt physically mostly okay. i knew i wouldn't live forever but i kind of felt like i would

yeah anyway i'm in kinda a weird headspace rn. if you didn't guess.

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

Roger: "Oh, about that."

Harrison: "First of all, why didn't you say anything about knowing them?"

Roger: "Because you didn't ask me."

Harrison: *sighs*

Roger: "Besides, I don't have a very close relationship with them either."

Roger: "So, it's hard to say whether they can be trusted."

Harrison: ".....So, how did you know each other?"

Roger: "Just a doctor and patient relationship. Jude's got weak bronchial tubes to begin with."

Roger: "They used to come to my parents' house sometimes, when my dad was a town doctor, because they said my dad had good skills."

Roger: "When he was a patient of my father's, I knew him, but....."

Roger: "Then one night, he rolled in, saying he had been stabbed with a knife. Not to my dad, but to me."

Harrison: ".....Do you know why was he stabbed?"

Roger: "All he said was he got stabbed because of a grudge."

------FLASHBACK------

Jude: "I won't say anything more than that. Don't ask me anymore."

Roger: "Oh, really? Well, I can't believe you're asking me instead of my dad just because you didn't want to make it public."

Jude: "You wanted a training ground for your techniques, right?"

Jude: "You can practice on me without a medical license."

Jude: "In return, we won't tell anyone about how I got treated to keep the reputation of your father's hospital intact."

Roger: "Good for both of us, huh? Well, guess that's true too."

Ellis: ".....Will he be okay? Mr. Roger."

Roger: "Ah, don't worry. He's a valuable training ground, so I won't kill him."

Ellis: "Thank god. I can't have him dying now."

Roger: "What's that? Then when would you let him die?"

Ellis: "When he's at the happiest moment of his life...."

Roger: "Oh? Then there's a long way to go if you keep hurting yourself like this everyday."

Jude: "Hey you quack! Either stitch me up or pull out the needle. I'm gonna die anyway if you leave it like that!"

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

Harrison: "....So you treated him before you got a medical license."

Roger: "Hahaha. Isn't the statute of limitations now?"

Harrison: "Anything else? You know about them?"

Roger: "Hmmm? Well....Jude is an early bird and Ellis isn't a picky eater."

Harrison: "I don't wanna know about that."

Roger: "Jude doesn't go down easily and can drink at the same pace as me. But Ellis gets drunk easily."

Harrison: "No. Not that.....I don't want their unnecessary profile information in my head."

Roger: ".....Like I said, my story won't be much of a help to judge whether to trust them or not."

Roger: "There are things they're keeping from me too. I heard they're doing a research that costs a lot of money or something."

Roger: "Well, I don't know if you can trust them, but I at least am sure that they are people who won't do anything half-heartedly."

Roger: "Was that helpful?"

Harrison: ".....Well, sort of. At least the information I got from you wasn't false."

Roger: "Then I'm glad."

...........

Liam: "Found you."

Harrison: "Hm? .....Ah, how did you know I was here?"

Liam: "I heard from Will. Are you working?"

Harrison: "I wanted a distraction from the report. That's all."

Liam: "Oh. I wanted to report something. Is it not okay now?"

Harrison: "It's fine. I lost concentration anyways...when you called for me."

Harrison: "So, what is it?"

Liam: "Okay. First, Jude..."

Liam: "I heard that he enrolled in a public school through a doctor or....was it a scholar, I think?"

Liam: "Isn't that surprising? I bet it must have been hard for him to fit in with all those aristocratic kids....I'm curious how it was like for him?"

Liam: "Ellis on the other hand, he never went to school."

Liam: "His father used to be a teacher at the church, but they split up a long time ago."

Liam: "Ah...I also promised to go skating with Ellis by the lake next time."

Harrison: "Wow. How did you manage to get those two to talk about themselves....? I didn't see you at the castle last few days."

Liam: "I just went invisible and followed them, found out what they have been doing over for the past few days."

Liam: "All the way home?"

Harrison: "....You went that far?"

Liam: "I thought Harry would be happy. Well, half of it was simply my curiosity as a cat."

Liam: "If I didn't follow them and tried talking to them directly, I think they'd say, 'I can't trust you'."

Liam: "I feel like it's a bit inconclusive...."

Harrison: "That look on your face, you're up to something...."

Liam: "That's my evil buddy! You know me so well!"

Liam: "So, why don't you give them a try?"

[zombiewhor3]

SURVIVORS HURT TO

carl grimes x fem reader

WARNINGS: injured carl, insecure carl, upset reader, mentions of gore, mentions of dying, mentions of gun shot wound, mentions of self blame, mentions of murder, mentions of weapon usage,

-

"it's my fault god it's all my fault" she wept softly to herself as she held Carl's resting hand, it was a damn miracle that somehow he managed to survive a bullet through the eye.

but yet somehow she blamed herself because she should've taken the gun before letting Michonne stab through him, she should've just grabbed it from him but instead she just froze like an idiot.

and this is why she was in this situation, it's why her boyfriend was almost dead with a bullet hole through his eye, she wondered when he'd wake up and if he'd even wake up after the injury.

she knew the statistics of gun wound survivors especially ones to the face and the head they often died in the hospitals and god forbid that he'd die, she didn't think she could move on without him

"i'm sorry Carl" she sobbed into his hand feeling as the puddle of tears started to pour onto his skin, "please wake up Carl please" she was practically begging him, hell she had been praying all night just for him to give her a sign or anything, she just needed something.

she just needed to know that he was gonna be okay.

"get out" was the only words she heard from his mouth as he through his hand up to cover the bandage that was wrapped over his eye, "Carl" she sniffled with a smile but she could see a sour expression form out onto his face like he was disgusted by her.

"Get out y/n! get the hell out!" he shouted watching as she stood up from the chair next to his bed side, she could feel a harsher pile of tears pour down her face as her hand rested against the door handle.

"go! i don't want to see you!" he yelled knowing that he must've surely been breaking her heart by his cruel words, she slipped out of the door using the crease of her elbow to hide her fit of tears.

without even a word to the others sitting in the living room she made her way into her bedroom and slammed the door harshly with the click of the lock she tossed herself against the bed burying her face into some of the pillows resting there.

Maggie knocked on the door before trying to open it but with the rattle of the handle she knew it was locked, "y/n is Carl okay?" she asked inferring that maybe for some reason he might've not have made it through the night.

there was no response of y/n except there was muffled weeps coming from behind the door,

"y/n talk to me i know how you feel" Maggie tried to reason taking a glance over at the bottom of the hall where her husband stood folding his arms while he let himself lean against the wall.

"he's not dead! that's not the problem! i j-just don't wanna talk about it!" she shouted back through the door, Maggie frowned softly while she could see Glenn giving her back the same look.

He approached the door, "were here if you need to it's okay y/n" he was trying to comfort her, and to which he heard a loud sniffle and was waiting for a response from her but it was nothing but silence and the sound of more crying spilling from her.

-

two whole days and he hadn't been anywhere near her, he'd been avoiding her for the entire time period, as soon as he woke up he wanted her gone and away from him.

it wasn't because he blamed her or because he despised her but because he believed that it was his fault, and well he was despising himself, he wondered how she would take his look.

whether she would push him away for looking like a freak or if she would understand but there was no point in taking the risk because he thought she would think he's a freak.

that he was an idiot for giving Ron a gun, that he was an idiot for ever trying to be his friend, he was an idiot for even trying to help and protect him because look at what he caused.

he stood in the mirror as he pulled off the bandage revealing his eye, his eye that was bloody and it was so damn gruesome he wasn't even sure he could face to look at it himself.

but he needed to change his bandage and he hadn't want anyone to see him like this, not his father, not the doctor who fixed him up and he especially didn't want y/n to see him like this.

she hadn't known he was back in the house they both lived in, she had been told he'd been living from place to place bouncing around in the homes that had been under renovation before this whole end of the world bullshit started.

she could see the bullet wound in his eye and it made her not sick but sorry, she felt sorry for him even if he had treated her so shitty, "get the hell out!" he yelled watching as her eyes watered but instead she hadn't moved she froze just watching him in the mirror.

her lips quivered while the rest of her face seemed to shake and even her hands started to tremble as she took a few steps closer to him, "come here Carl" she spoke watching as he used his hair to cover up the wound in his eye, she smiled at him as she wiped a tear away.

"get out please" he spoke turning while her hands rested on his cheeks, he was afraid of her moving the hair away to reveal the wound that was gonna be on his face forever.

"don't please y/n just get out" he spoke softly watching her shake her head no while a few tears slipped down her face, "i love you to much to just leave you like this Carl please you know i love you" she was practically begging him just so she could stay.

she pulled his hair back to reveal the wound, "it ruined me y/n, looks so god damn disgusting i don't even wanna look at myself" some would hear him and say that he was fishing for some sort of attention but god he believed it was true because it was what he had planted in his head.

"look at me Carl, you're so brave and this didn't ruin you, you've fought so hard and i know you're gonna do so god damn good" she placed a kiss on his forehead just above where the wound was.

Carl wanted to cry on his own, "i'm sorry for being so mean i just don't want anyone to see me like this even myself but it's my fault i should've never tried to help him" he admitted wrapping his arms around the crying girl.

"i love you Carl, and i'm sorry i didn't take the gun that's on me and me only it's not your fault" he furrowed his brows while he stroked her delicate hair, he swallowed before speaking

"we were only trying to do the right thing, he just lost it after seeing his mother die and his brother," he spoke at the harsh truth that was 1/2 true for him, he had to kill his own mother.

he was the one to make sure she didn't turn into a walker and yet somehow he seemed to understand Ron now or maybe just the reason why he was so god damn angry at the world.

"i love you y/n even if you were to think i was a monster i would still love you until i die" he spoke rubbing her back softly feeling as her warmth was starting to soak into him.

"til death do us part Carl even if you do become a monster"

[xsweetcatastrophe]

You Broke Me First

Part 20

robert fischer wouldn't cheat on me while I was in the hospital for over a week with pneumonia and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

also, this is filler. I'm halfway through writing the next part but I physically can't write anymore and I need sleep. i'm trying; bear with me.

Zoe had a mix of emotions as she drove home from work the following day.

She was nervous about seeing her family, but excited to see her niece. Facetimes every night was nice, but not enough. She was nervous about getting harassed by her mother; the usual questions about her career, love life and general happiness always came up after her mom had a couple margaritas. She was excited to see her sister, but nervous about how she would treat Cillian since she knew of the arrangement. She knew she was fiercely protective over her, and she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. She was nervous for Cillian to meet them all. The fact they were on the other side of the country where they can't just hop in a car and leave early if they wanted to made her feel even worse. They'll be stuck there for at least 3 days with them. Of course, if it would get THAT bad they could book a flight home, but Zoe would be mortified. How embarrassing.

On the other hand; she was racing home because she knew Cillian was there.

He had texted her at about 1pm, letting her know that he just arrived at her apartment with his bags and Scout. He was going to drop Scout off at boarding later on that night since their flight was 6am the next day. Zoe had responded saying she had made room in the dresser for him and to use the 3 empty drawers on the right hand side for his clothes.

Zoe pulled into a spot she found on the street and hopped out of her car and speed-walked to her building, taking the stairs 2 at a time to make it to her floor. She stopped short in front of the door and tried to compose herself. She smoothed her hair down and tried to wipe the sweat off her forehead without wiping off too much of her makeup. She opened the door and was greeted by a dog jumping on her.

"SCOUT, OFF" Cillian yelled, pulling him by the collar to get him off of her.

"Cill, please, if I die from a dog jumping on me, i'll die happy," Zoe said, taking her bag off her shoulder and kneeling down to Scout's level, letting him lick her face and giving him scratches and pats in return.

"I know, I just don't want him to do that every time you walk in, it's your house," Cillian said, turning around and running his hand through his hair. "Ok, where was I ... fuck I forgot what I was even doing," He said, sighing defeatedly. Zoe stood up and picked up her bag.

"First of all, bold of you to call this very small apartment a house, but i'll take it, and two, what's stressing you? how can I help?"

Cillian turned around, sighed again, placed his hands on Zoe's hips and pulled her into him, resting his forehead against hers. "Nothing love, I'm sorry. Just a crazy fuckin' day. Between packing, saying goodbye to the house, running to the lawyers to sign paperwork, I'm just...tired" He said, placing a kiss on her lips. "thank you again for letting me crash here."

Zoe smiled. She knew when he said tired, he meant physically AND emotionally. He had a lot of changes happening at once, and losing his home wasn't making it any easier.

Zoe took a deep breath and placed her hands on his chest. "Well, good thing is you're not doing this alone. How can I help?"

Cillian smiled. "I'm good love. Just tired."

Zoe smiled sweetly. "Okay then, why don't you go take a shower and I'll order us some pizza?" Zoe stepped away and turned around to go grab the takeout menu. Cillian Grabbed her hand and twirled her back into him. "You think I'm taking a shower... without you?" Cillian mumbled into her neck, causing Zoe to giggle as they walked to the bathroom.

Hours later, Scout was dropped off for the weekend and Zoe and Cillian were on the couch watching tv.

"So Sophie's turning 3, and your sister is... 7 years older thank you?" Cillian asked. Zoe had given him a brief rundown of who he'd be meeting this weekend. "Yup, you got it" She responded, taking a bite of her pizza. "That's pretty much everybody"

Cillian smiled, took a sip of his beer, and cleared his throat.

"So what about your dad?" He asked.

Zoe froze. "What about him?"

Cillian could feel the sudden tension in the room. "..I don't know.. you don't speak much about him"

"I mean he's dead, there's not much to talk about" Zoe replied monotone.

"Jesus" Cillian said, looking at her.

"Sorry," Zoe said, looking at her hands i her lap. "Guess it's just hard. I always avoided talking about him because I didn't want to cry"

"..you're that scared of crying?" Cillian asked. "Fuck that."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "yea, whatever" she mumbled.

after an awkward silence, Cillian spoke up. "Why don't you tell me about him?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. His name? What did he do? his favorite music... anything. Your favorite thing about him" He replied.

Zoe sighed. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes already.

"Well... His name was Tom. He was a firefighter. He was the best dad. He always just wanted to help people. I remember in elementary school we had a project we had to do with all our dads. My friend didn't have a dad, and wasn't going to do the project. My dad convinced her to do the project with him too, so she could participate. He was a big guy, but always showed up to every one of my sister's dance recitals with flowers and stayed for the entire show, clapping loud for every kid there. He coached my T-ball team, and called all the teammates his 'kids'. He was always so proud of all of us on the team, and made sure to let each and every one of us know. He treated himself to a beer after work, always, and rather cook dinner after a long day instead of my mom trying to burn something in the kitchen. He loved his vegetable garden, and my mom, sister and I used to laugh when we used to catch him in the backyard, arms crossed, admiring his garden on summer evenings. He loved football - not your kind, the american kind - and if he wasn't at the firehouse on Sunday's, he was in his recliner with a beer watching the game. He used to... he used to read the Reader's Digest with me ever week... it was our favorite thing to do. Cover to cover - our favorites were the jokes obviously. I'm convinced I was advanced in reading and writing because of him. He loved a whisky sour, and sometimes when I was a teenager and I would come home late, I would catch him in the kitchen having one while he was waiting for me to come home. You know how they say some kids gravitate towards one parent, or is more like one parent than the other? I believe that's true. Jen is very much my mom. Has the same mannerisms as her, they talk multiple times a day, she is very much her daughter. My dad and I were closer than they ever could be. I was very much HIS daughter... and I think that's my favorite part about him.. was that he's my dad. I know being his daughter is my favorite part about me.. it's the one I'm most proud of, at least," Zoe said, feeling a tear start to roll down her cheek. Before she could wipe it away, Cillian beat her to it. He squeezed her hand after his hand left her cheek.

"He... I guess at work he inhaled too much smoke.. he got lung cancer. He was diagnosed and gone within a year. My mom's response to helping us cope with it was take us on a vacation. Pretend it never happened. She bought us laptops, scooters, bikes.... we didn't want any of that. We just... I don't know," Zoe said, sighing deeply and looking down, letting the tears fall freely now. Cillian pulled her into him and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Whisky sours and a veggie garden... my kinda man" Cillian said, getting a laugh out of Zoe.

"Oh, he took his garden very seriously. One time, the dog we had at the time chewed a hole in the chicken wire he had around his garden and ate all the tomatoes. I woke up one morning to my dad chasing the dog around the backyard, but it had just rained, so he slipped and fell on the wet grass, we were all hysterical" Zoe said, laughing at the memory.

Cillian smiled at her. "See? you're laughing. Sometimes it's better to talk about him. It's okay to cry too, but even though I see tears coming down your pretty face, you're smiling."

Zoe didn't want to admit it, but he was right. It was like a weight was slowly being lifted off her shoulders. It did feel good to talk about him, crying or not.

"yeah, yeah, okay. I guess you're right," She said, giving him a kiss on his lips. "Thanks for the tip Murphy"

"Anytime, Parker" He replied, giving her another kiss.

Zoe started laughing. Cillian pulled away, confused. "What?"

"Nothing.. it's just.. remember when you slept with me, signed a contract to date me for 3 months, and didn't even know my last name yet?" Zoe said, bursting out laughing. "Glad you finally learned it"

Cillian rolled his eyes and choked back a laugh. "Keep it up missy and i'll give you another.. tip of mine," he said, pulling her on top of him.

tags: @lau219

[jisunghannie]

Healthy and Happy

PAIRING: Bangchan x fem!reader

WARNING: Mentions of death, gore, car crashes, injuries, blood, hospitals, reader in a coma, reader, reader being called jagiya, swearing, and Chan getting hurt, physical contact (slapping, etc).

SUMMARY: You and Chan were trying to get to the car but you kept waking up in a dream after every death you had experienced. Was it a dream? Apparently it was, a dream of life or death.

WORD COUNT: 2,436

A/N:

.°•○>><<○•°. = POV switch

.°• ✿ •°. = Flashback/Present time

`○°.• ✿ •.°○` = Timeskip

-ssi is used to describe someone older (Maknaes, Changbin, and Hyunjin use this to address you!)

-ah is used to describe someone younger (Lee Know uses this to address you!)

It was another day as you and Chan had another date. It was like date after date after date. It wasn't a bad thing. You loved it. You loved being spoiled by him and being shown off by him. He never wasted a moment with you.

All the STAYs were oblivious to your relationship with Chan. You had always taken his pictures for him in public. He loved them and posted them on his instagram. He was so happy he could barely keep himself from kissing you after every picture you took. You loved it though. After the last date. You were on your phone admiring the pictures and next thing you knew, you heard Chan yell out.

"Y/n! Watch out!" You heard Chan's voice as you got hit with a car. As everything went black.

When you woke up. You woke up in a cold sweat. Scaring Chan awake he listened to your dream.

"But you don't get it Channie! It felt so real!" You told him as you were pulled into a close hug. "If that were to happen I think I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I just watched you die." He told you seriously as you kissed his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere Channie." You said as he hugged you tightly. "I know jagiya... but it feels like you are..." You laughed at your silly boyfriend as he looked at you with his big eyes.

You and Chan had more time as you watched him perform and dedicate songs to you. You smiled every time you thought about all of the songs.

"Y/n-ssi, how long have you and Chan been together?" Jeongin asked as Chan wrapped his arm around your stomach. "Since high school. She's been with me for a long time." He said kissing your cheek as you giggled. "Since his senior year and my sophomore year." You said as Felix's eyes widened. "Holy crap, Chris you are a preda-" Before Felix finished his sentence Minho jabbed his elbow into Felix's side. "Relax, if you think about it y/n-ah is just 3 years younger than Chan."

You smiled realizing that moments like this would never get old. Realizing how long you and Chan had been together had made you feel like you were the luckiest ever. You were with your first love since high school and he has even been your high school sweetheart. You couldn't believe time had passed so quickly. You wanted to have time stand still. So you could be with him forever.

"Jagiya, you okay? You look deep in thought." Chan asked as you looked at him kissing him.

Jeongin and Seungmin turned away, Felix and Hyunjin were eating so they didn't pay much attention, Jisung was play-flirting with Minho again and Changbin just stood there. "Real mature Bangchan." Changbin pouted as Chan smiled at him after the kiss. "You're just mad that you can't find someone as good as y/n." Chan said, sticking out his tongue to tease Changbin. You smiled as Chan put on your shoes for you. "We are gonna head out." He said as he took your hand and helped you up.

After you hugged everyone, you told Chan that you were going to go across the street to get to the car first. He nodded as he took out his keys.

When you walked, you saw on your left a car was speeding in your direction. You were halfway down the street. You ran to try and reach the next half of the road but you didn't.

You ended up getting hit.

Your last memory before you blacked out was Chan hugging you, drenched in your blood, begging you to stay with him. And then.

You woke up again.

You had the nightmare again. Chan once again woke up and you explained your nightmare to him. You told him how you had a dream in your dream that you had also been hit by a car as Chan hugged you. Just like he did in the dream.

"If that happened, I would be there for you and quit my job and, and-" You kissed him to make him shut up. "Channie, I'll be fine." You said as he sighed. "I think we should go to a hospital to get it checked out." He suggested as you sighed, "Will that put you at ease?" You asked as he nodded smiling. "Then let's go." You said as he got up and got ready.

On your way to the hospital, you and Chan were hand in hand the whole time. Once you guys had got there the doctors there had told you guys that nothing was wrong and that you were just stressed. You guys then left.

"I told you it was nothing Channie." You told him as he smiled. "Sorry, I just thought it was concerning." He said embarrassed as you laughed. A crowd passed you guys and you guys had gotten separated. You planned to cross the road, you were careful this time and pressed the button waiting for it to let you cross. Once it shined to let you pass. You walked across. And just then. You saw a car. Speeding. Chan had seen you and ran to you pushing you out of the way.

When you hit the floor, you turned and Chan had gotten his right arm run over. "Channie!" You yelled out as you ran to him. Hugging his body with his gushing arm. It wasn't torn up but it was very bloody. He smiled and kissed your cheek. "It's okay. I'll be fine." He said as you cried and hugged him.

"Just wake up jagiya... I just need you to wake up..." Chan said as you woke up from another nightmare.

What the fuck was happening.

Again, you continued your constant cycle of being hit by a car or Chan getting hit or something. But it's always involving someone getting hit by a car.

The last nightmare was horrible. You knew that it was just a nightmare but why was it repeating?

One of the recent nightmares wasn't as bad, just slightly weird. You had woken up and washed the dishes that were flooding up your sink.

"Hey lover," He said, hugging you from behind as you did the dishes. You smiled. This was like your everyday routine. However, the more you thought about your normal routine. The more sad Chan looked.

"What's wrong Channie?" You asked as you caressed his cheek. As you felt tears drop on your cheeks.

.°•○>><<○•°.

Chan knew that it was a nightmare. He held you close to him as he cried. "Please wake up... don't be stuck in this coma forever..." He cried as you were in a coma, hooked up to different machines and everything. He had been banged up in the car accident that sent you in a coma.

.°• ✿ •°.

You guys were in JYP Entertainment and had to go back home to get rest for the concert the next day. As you guys had walked to the car, a car flew by you guys, hitting both of you. The impact was so hard. Chan was knocked into the car and you, into a lamppost. You're head hit the lamppost causing you to black out and Chan to black out.

The next thing he knew, he woke up in a hospital a week later. You were unresponsive but still alive. Chan ran over to your room with the little strength he had as he looked at you. You were unconscious for a week just like Chan yet unable to respond. He was heartbroken. "Bang Christopher Chan," The doctor said as he looked at the doctor. "Be aware that Ms. l/n may not wake up for a while. It'll take her some time." He said as Chan looked at limp body.

Over time he recovered and had to perform again, but these days he was stressed and tired. He slept less and less the more worried he became.

"Bangchan, you should take it easy." Hyunjin said as shook his head. "If I do who will take care of y/n and... and who would make sure she is okay and-and" He was stuttering, he was extremely stressed out as Minho grabbed his shoulders. "We can deal with y/n-ah. She would be heartbroken to see you like this." He told Chan. Chan understood what he meant but it just didn't feel right. "Just relax." Changbin said as Jisung nodded and smiled. "We can always help you out too Bangchan." Jisung said as Felix smiled and Seungmin hugged Bangchan.

For the first time, he cried. In front of his members. He cried.

You were so important to him and losing you was like losing his whole group. Even more. All of you guys were important to him. He didn't want to accept the fact that you could be in a coma forever.

.°• ✿ •°.

It had been exactly 10 months since you got into your coma. Chan didn't know how to feel, he covered your medical bills but didn't know what else to do so he read to you every day and showed you his new songs.

He hoped that you would wake up. He always wondered why it had to be you. He wondered why it couldn't be him. He knew you didn't deserve it so why did it have to be you? That he didn't understand. He just-

"Bang Christopher Chan?" A voice called out as his eyes darted to the door. It was your sister. She never approved of him. He held your hand tightly. "I'm sorry... I really-"

He was cut off by a slap to the face.

"I knew you were a bad choice the minute my sister introduced me to you!" She yelled as she hugged you, tears welled her eyes. Begging you to recover. "Why didn't you tell me or any of her relatives!?" She asked, screaming. He knew that it was his fault for not reaching out. But he knew it was better than them being stressed out.

Once she realized the eyebags under Chan's eyes, the puffiness of them, the books by him, the scar on his eyebrow, the tears that stained his cheeks, along with the red mark from the slap she covered her mouth in horror.

"Did... you...?" She hesitated as he nodded.

"I didn't see the car and when I did it was too late... I blocked her but," His voice cracked, "The impact was too strong and I let go once the crash happened, but..." His voice breaking as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "I should've just thrown her out of the way if I would've just woken up a week later..." He cried as your sister looked at you. "How long has she been here for...?" She asked as Chan inhaled, "She's been here for 10 months!" He yelled out horror painting on your sister's face as he bit his lower lip, biting back his sobs.

Your sister hugged you tightly. "Come back little sis... I know you're in there... please... I know you can hear me... wake up if not for me... wake up for your boyfriend of damn near 10 years..." She said as Chan chuckled lightly and held your hands, kissing them.

.°•○>><<○•°.

You continued to have these nightmares. You didn't know whether or not it was because you were stressed or if something was seriously wrong. Whatever the reason was. You were suffering and you could barely keep it together. If this is what torture felt like. You'd rather die.

"You can't leave me, not like this!" Chan yelled as you cupped his cheek. Closing your eyes, wondering when the next time you'd wake up.

Except this time, you woke up in a hospital. You were taken aback to see a sleeping Chan. You caressed his head as he woke up and hugged you tightly.

"Oh jagi!" He tripped over his own feet. You giggled weakly as he helped you up and took you to the doctor telling him that you guys we're going home. The doctor nodded which you thought was weird. You were more cautious this time. And this time you were right to be cautious. A car, speeding by as you pulled Chan.

"It's like you knew that car was coming." He said, impressed as you sighed, "I kind of did..." You admitted as Chan laughed, "That would've been bad if I got hit like you did wouldn't it..." He said jokingly as you looked dead serious. He then cleared his throat and took you to the car. "Shall we?" He asked as you giggled. "We shall." You replied.

You drove home happily with Chan until. You guys got into yet another crash. You sighed waiting for the next awakening, you wanted this to stop as you closed your eyes. Hoping it would just stop.

.°•○>><<○•°.

Chan looked at the heart monitor as he noticed less and less beats from your heart. "No, no, no, no, god no!" He yelled as your sister started screaming for a doctor.

Doctors came in as they performed different things on you to keep you from passing on.

Chan comforted your sister as she cried. In the waiting room. She sobbed for about a day. When the doctors came out they sighed and told them that you were fine but the next time that happened you might not be so lucky.

This broke Chan's heart. He didn't want to see you pass. He wanted to be with you, he wanted to see your laughs and smile, but he just knew it wasn't going to happen. At least not yet anyway.

He was still optimistic and wanted to have you close by his side. He knew that much.

.°• ✿ •°.

More time had passed, Chan was still very much sad that you hadn't woken up yet. He couldn't believe that it had almost been a year since you went into a coma. He was so hurt, unknown to what could happen next. He changed the water from your flowers and picked the ugly petals. It was one of your habits. A habit that never quite left him. He smiled as he looked at you, hoping you were sleeping peacefully. He smiled.

As he looked down, his tears hit the soil that had been buried over you as he was on his knees.

"I love you jagiya... happy 10 year anniversary..." He said as tears poured down his cheeks as he sobbed and choked out all the tears and cries he could in that moment.

[dazzle02]

9-1-1 Love Interests

I've decided I'm just gonna write a total defence of all of Buck and Eddie's previous love interests because the amount of hate they get is insane. I will go in order of appearance. I will not be including Tommy as this is more about the Misogyny towards the female love interests. But I love him and his relationship with Buck...

Abby Clark

Now, she was NOT perfect and I'm not gonna pretend she was. But she wasn't a monster either. First of all, contrary to what people love to claim, she was not a paedophile or predator. Buck was an adult even in Season 1.

Getting Buck's number from the system was weird, I'm not going to deny that. But let's not pretend she was just getting it to try and get a hook-up or anything, the first time she calls him is to check in after his first loss on the job.

All through their relationship she was dealing with her Mothers sickness and then her death. Buck was great through it all, and it really sucks for him that she left after all that, but she desperately needed to find herself and get out of LA.

I will forever be mad at her for not just ending things with him the second she knew she wasn't coming back though. She shouldn't have ghosted him like that. As soon as she realised she wasn't going back, she should've called him up and said so. Instead she just slowly stopped replying to his texts and calls and left him to figure it out on his own.

She didn't do anything wrong with the train stuff though. Of course she was worried about her fiancé! It sucks that Buck had to be the one to be faced with that, but she didn't call him up and ask him to come save her fiancé. He saw her, she admitted what was going on and then he went to do his job. (And of course he went further than just doing his job because he refused to let Abby's fiancé die. But she didn't ask him to do that...)

I didn't like her "apology" though. I wish she actually acknowledged what she actually did wrong, and that is not communicating and just ghosting him instead of ending things like the adult she is.

Overall, I'm not a huge fan of her. But some of the takes I see make me uncomfortable.

Ali Martin

Now Ali really did nothing wrong. This will likely be the shortest part as we didn't see much of her. Which I think is a shame...

She had every right to break up with Buck when she realised she couldn't handle his job. But not only that, she waited until he was out of Hospital. She came to see him at the Hospital, she brought him home.

She ended things with him because she wasn't going to ask him to give up his job but she also knew that she couldn't handle a life of constantly worrying that her partner might not come home from work.

And that is okay.

Taylor Kelly

This will probably be the longest as she was around the longest...

Now obviously Taylor did some messed up stuff. In her very first episode she was more than happy to use the footage of Bobby nearly killing himself while drugged to get herself a better job.

But onto Season 4.

Honestly, she had every right to be upset with Buck for the whole "double date" thing. Do I like that she called him needy? Of course not. I hate when any character has their biggest insecurities thrown at them like that. But of course she was upset. And then later in the episode, she was grateful to him for helping out when she needed it. That story wasn't supposed to be a "oh no, mean Taylor called Buck names!" it was a story of Buck realising that he'd messed up and fixing it. And before all that she willingly listened to Buck's whole story about Albert and Veronica.

She helped Buck out with finding out the truth behind Sue's hit and run.

When Eddie was shot she came to the Hospital just to be there for Buck. She didn't do any story on the shooting because someone she cared about was involved and she was just there for him instead. And sure, we could say that's just human decency, but it IS her job. She was likely told to do a piece on it. But she didn't.

I don't like their first(ish) kiss. (I mean, it's a good kiss, but the circumstances aren't ideal...) I don't like that it was while Buck was clearly going through the trauma of seeing his best friend get shot, and Eddie wasn't even awake yet. And it was right after Buck's climb up the crane definitely hoping he'd get shot (we've all seen the smile on his face as he sees just how exposed he is). And I don't like that she then left. I think that scene could've been a really good scene if they hadn't kissed. She was understandably upset with Buck for risking his life like that. Showing she cares.

But she came back. And she clearly was sorry for leaving like she did. And then she was at Eddie's Welcome Home Party!

And now onto Season 5.

She was very understanding when Maddie and Chimney were gone. She reassured him that everyone at work likely weren't actually mad at him. She knew he missed them and that he was hurting due to everything that happened. And she was the one he felt able to be open about his feelings on being the only one who didn't get to say goodbye to Chim.

She was constantly there for Buck while he was struggling due to a tough case or personal stuff.

She had her story with her Dad, and understandably needed to handle that her own way. Like she said, this was HER childhood trauma not Buck's. Of course he was concerned when he felt like she was pulling away, he also has his own issues. But she had every right to deal with her stuff with her Dad in the way she was comfortable with.

And people love to say she was being rude during that dinner scene at Eddie's. But Buck literally told her to eat before they got there because he didn't trust Eddie's cooking. She genuinely wasn't hungry. And she was polite about it too!

And then HE CHEATED ON HER! And then asked her to move in instead of telling her the truth. I'm glad he eventually told her, but that was after she'd already moved in and so she didn't have her own place to go to.

And I can believe Taylor being able to forgive the cheating. One drunken kiss in my opinion can be forgivable. But I don't know that I would've been able to forgive the position he put her in of finding out after she'd already moved in. (I understand Buck's side to all this, but Taylor did NOT deserve any of it...)

Also, he never told Taylor that he was now working with the woman he kissed. She figured it out herself, yes, but he didn't tell her. (Again, I can understand that he probably didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or anything, but I think that was something she deserved to know...)

Taylor never had a problem with Buck's friendship with Eddie either, or his relationship with Chris. That's all totally made up. In fact she literally helped Buck find Charlie to help Eddie start to heal. And this was after he said no to getting her in touch with Lucy for her story. Yes, he offered her other intel, but he refused what she'd actually wanted.

She also totally understood Buck's dynamic with the 118. She had her whole speech to Lucy about it in May Day. Talking about how when things are bad at the 118 he falls apart and how she would hate for that to happen again. Yes, this was due to her figuring out Lucy was who Buck had cheated with and she was upset. But that scene completely proves that she understood and respected Buck's dynamic with the 118...

And now we get onto the Jonah stuff. To be clear, I do not like that she did what she did here. She promised she wouldn't. She didn't just promise Buck either, she also promised Hen and Chim. And by doing her report anyway, she not only betrayed all their trust, she also put people at risk and also as we later learn she risked Buck's job.

She was right when she said that Buck knew who she was from the start. And of course she didn't wanna be something he learns to live with. That's not what anyone would want out of a relationship.

And they actually ended on good terms.

The whole book thing that was revealed in Season 6 was just weird, but we don't have enough information on that to really judge one way or another. I do generally dislike people writing books about other people without their permission though...

Shannon Diaz

I will defend Shannon forever! She was treated so unfairly and it makes me so angry!

I will get this out of the way. No, I don't like that she left Christopher.

Now into my defence!!!

She was a kid when she got pregnant. Just like Eddie was. Only, she was the woman. She was the one who likely got slut shamed and ridiculed. She was also the one who had to go through the actual pregnancy and child birth.

Men get away with these things. Sure, Eddie was very likely ridiculed too, growing up Catholic and all. But he wasn't getting called slurs. Shannon more than likely was.

And as a result of her pregnancy, she is now getting married. And she loves Eddie, so she probably thinks that it won't be too bad. They'd probably get married eventually anyway.

Only he enlists into the Army in order to provide for her and the baby. And she's left having to deal with everything without him. The pregnancy was likely rough, she would've had her In-Laws smothering her and telling her how to do everything even before Chris was born.

And it doesn't seem like her Mum was in Texas at this point? Her arriving at the Hospital surprised everyone. So it seems she'd already moved?

So basically Shannon was dealing with it all alone.

Then Chris was born and Eddie was almost immediately gone again. And I truly believe she likely had PPD.

So she was raising her son alone. With her overbearing In-Laws who didn't believe she was capable of taking care of her own son. Who clearly didn't like her much either.

But there's a silver lining. Eddie's Tour was almost over. Only Christopher got diagnosed with CP and Eddie reenlisted without even discussing it with her! Again, leaving her to raise their son alone. Again, leaving her alone with his parents. Leaving her to deal with this diagnosis alone.

So she's basically raising Chris all alone. And Eddie even admits to Buck that he'd reenlisted because he was scared and was running.

But then hey, Eddie's home after being discharged. And he's traumatised. And she understands that, she does. But she's going through stuff herself.

And then her Mum was DYING and she asked Eddie to go with her so she could take care of her and he refused. Her Mother was literally dying.

So of course she left to do it herself. And she shouldn't have left Chris. He didn't deserve that at all, he was a kid and she was the only constant parent he'd had.

But I totally get it.

And she felt that she was the reason Chris had CP and that she did something wrong, and it's so unlikely she was ever told otherwise until that moment in S2. In fact, it's more likely she had all that confirmed for her by others. (This is one of the main things that makes me think she might've had PPD she was never treated for...)

She was alone in everything.

And her asking Eddie for a Divorce. THAT WAS NOT HER LEAVING CHRISTOPHER AGAIN! I see so many people say that she was about to leave Chris again before she died, but that's just NOT true.

She literally said she wanted the Divorce to make sure she didn't. Because she knew she needed to focus on being a Mother to Chris, and that also trying to focus on a marriage that was never really good was just going to make that harder.

She wanted to be there for Chris. She knew Chris needed to be her number one priority, and she didn't want anything getting in the way of that. And the number one threat to that was her marriage to Eddie.

And maybe they would've eventually found their way back to each other if she'd lived. Maybe a Divorce would've been exactly what they needed to learn to truly be coparents and partners and they could've started their relationship up again in a much healthier way. Who knows.

And let's not forget that it's not just Eddie's parents who clearly hated her. Abuela and Pepa were clearly not fans of her either. I hope that they weren't that way with her before she left and that it was just anger over her leaving. But no one really ever tried to understand what was going on with her.

Eddie says it himself that they both ran, but he got to hide behind being a Hero fighting for his Country and she just got called a terrible mother and wife. And yes, he still had contact with them while he was gone and Shannon didn't. But that doesn't mean he was there for either of them during that time.

And I'm not saying Eddie is a bad Dad or anything. But his story is literally him learning how to be a good Dad. Learning it's more important that he's there.

And Shannon's death. She deserved better! I hate that they killed her just as she was back in Chris' life and coming to terms with what she needed for herself in order to be the Mother Chris deserved.

Shannon Diaz, I love you!!!

Ana Flores

She was done so dirty!!

Yes, she should've been paying more attention to the kids on the playground. The incident with the skateboard wasn't good and teachers need to pay attention to their students or they could get seriously hurt. But it was a mistake and Chris was okay and she had no way of knowing one of the kids had brought a skateboard. And most of all, she completely acknowledged her fault in the whole thing.

And when was she Ableist? I'm sorry. I see this often and I just don't get it. Was it what she said to Eddie about limitations? Sometimes we have got limitations. Everyone does. Yes, Buck and Eddie found a way to get Chris on a skateboard, but not everyone is going to be able to do that. She was literally saying what Eddie had been saying to Chris earlier in the episode. That sometimes someone can do something that someone else can't, but then there could be something that first person can't do that the other person can. Idk, that's just how I read that. If I'm wrong, tell me.

Then in S4 they ran into each other again and they were both happy to see each other. Eddie was flirting! It wasn't like she was aggressively hitting on him while he was totally uninterested and telling her to stop. And they went out, because Eddie decided he was ready to try.

And she never pushed for Eddie to tell Chris about them. The opposite in fact! she offered to come by and help with his homework if he needed it, but she also said she understood him not telling Chris they were dating yet. She would've just gone by to help out as his old teacher. Then when Eddie did tell Chris he was dating someone and he reacted badly, she offered to take a break from the relationship until he was ready. Because she understood that it was a sensitive subject!

And Chris very much adored her. Idk where people get the idea that he hated her from. He was very happy to see her when Eddie invited her over to tell Chris who he was dating. He was constantly happy to be spending time with her.

She was the one who figured out there was something going on with Charlie and his Mum. She literally found out through trying to donate to help them out. She literally figured it out through being a good person.

When Eddie was shot she didn't leave his side. And she CALLED BUCK WHEN HE WOKE UP! Like Taylor, people have this weird idea that she had a problem with Buck's place in Eddie and Chris' lives, but she so clearly didn't. In fact it seems like she and Buck likely communicated quite a bit when Eddie was shot, with him staying with Chris and her with Eddie. I highly doubt she didn't check in to see how Chris was doing, and Buck also would've checked in with her to see how Eddie was doing. And she also didn't seem to have any problem with Buck being the one to get Eddie from the Hospital.

And onto Season 5...

She invited Eddie and Chris to a family event. She wasn't pressuring him into going or anything, she invited her boyfriend and his son to a Christening and they said yes.

She was the one to correct that she wasn't Chris' Mother, because she knows that's not a place that can just be filled. She knows no one can replace Shannon, and she was never trying to. (Which is something I've seen people say she wanted to do...)

It was NOT her fault Eddie had a panic attack. It wasn't actually about HER. It was about the idea of someone replacing Shannon and the idea of actually being a family.

And all through the Blackout she was with Chris. She brought Eddie food and brought Chris by to say hi. She was great.

But Eddie clearly isn't all in with her. He admits that. And let's do some calculations here... Carla could see this at the end of Season 4, she could see that he wasn't all in on that relationship. In 5x01 Ana says that Eddie was shot 4 months ago, which happened like the day after he and Carla had that conversation. So that's 4 months of her basically being led on. Most likely taking care of him after the shooting, helping with Chris, all this stuff.

And it's not like she just showed up at his work to demand to be introduced to everyone. She was bringing his son by with food. (Another thing I have seen people claim...)

Buck and Eddie's conversation about Ana. That was NOT Buck telling Eddie to break up with Ana for the sake of it, or because Ana wasn't good or anything. That was him saying that ANA deserved better. Because he understood Ana from his relationship with Abby. That conversation was Buck telling Eddie that HE was in the wrong here and that it wasn't fair to Ana for him to stay with her.

And the breakup! No, that was AWFUL!

She'd been there taking care of Chris for DAYS! And she and Chris are bonding over the baking they'd been doing and talking about what they should make next and Eddie just kicks her out.

It was all overwhelming for him, I get it. And when you're overwhelmed things can come out in really awful ways. But she did not deserve that!

So she goes to the kitchen so they can talk without upsetting Chris. And she starts trying to clean up the mess from all the baking. But Eddie stops her and she knows it's over. She's not stupid. She knows Eddie doesn't feel the same way about her as she does him.

Her line "I'm sorry about the mess, but I guess it's your mess now." Is NOT her being evil! She tried to clean up, but Eddie stopped her and then broke up with her. What was she supposed to do? Stick around in the house of the guy that just dumped her and clean his kitchen? Hell no!

And then she goes to say bye to Chris because she cares about him and he really liked her.

Oh, and the Edmundo thing. Eddie never told her not to call him that. He never seemed to have a problem with it either. It was literally the thing they first bonded over. Her correctly guessing his full name first try when most people don't. So I'm pretty sure that her calling him that was a reference to that.

She did nothing wrong.

Marisol

Let's just start with the fact that she didn't even have a last name! She deserved a last name.

Okay. She was introduced to the show for a call where her brother nearly died. She didn't do anything wrong there. Buck and Eddie bring a few other guys over at the end of the episode so they can all fix up her house. Because they destroyed it. (That should be a thing. Is that a thing? A service that will clean up and fix things that Emergency Services have had to destroy? It should be...)

Then she and Eddie run into each other, they flirt, she likes him and he likes her. Things are fine. He's excited to get a date with her. (Yes, it was all rushed due to outside forces... But still...)

Into Season 7 they're dating. Things are apparently going well. She's chaperoning Chris' date with Eddie, she's literally not doing anything wrong. He invited her, this is their date too.

She is CONSTANTLY being used as free childcare (Chris is a teen, but for some reason childcare sounds less infantilising that babysitter...) while Eddie goes to hang out with his new friend.

Then Eddie asked her to move in with him. Little early, but sure. So she does, she moves all her stuff in. Then Eddie finds out she used to be a Nun and freaks out.

Used to be. As in not anymore. She decided that's not what she wanted.

And okay, that can still bring stuff up for Eddie due to his own Religious upbringing, but she did nothing wrong.

He was avoiding her. He'd just asked her to move in with him, and now he's immediately avoiding her.

And she explains that she's very used to people having negative reactions when finding out she was a Nun. Which, yeah. And the sexualisation stuff is AWFUL!

Then Eddie doesn't want her moving in with him and so she moves back into her house. Meaning she has to take everything back and unpack it all over again there.

And now we really get into it. Eddie starts seeing his dead wife's doppelganger behind her back! He claims he wasn't cheating because there was no sex, but it was emotional cheating. Which can be so much worse.

And she walks in on them together. She had been spending time with HIS SON, and gets back to find him cheating on her.

And I bet that if we saw the aftermath of that with Marisol ending things and being angry at him, people would somehow vilify her for it.

Marisol did nothing wrong. Was she particularly interesting? No. But she wasn't some evil witch either.

Natalia Dollenmeyer

Okay, I think she might actually be the one I struggle to defend the most. Mostly due to how little we actually saw her.

I don't like her reaction to Buck's death all that much, I do think it was uncomfortable and inappropriate. But I don't think it was quite as awful as people make it out to be. That was what Buck was looking for at that point. He didn't wanna face the trauma part of it, and so he jumped at the chance when he found someone who was intrigued by it. If she'd been talking about how cool it was and Buck had told her it made him uncomfortable and yet she kept going, then it'd be a bigger deal.

Her reaction to people from Buck's life showing up was a bit extreme. They ran into one person he'd kissed once, saw his ex on TV (due to her being a reporter) once, and Kameron showed up. I can understand everything feeling a bit much though. Kameron showing up was definitely the nail in the coffin in that moment, but then Buck apparently just like told her his whole dating history and everything about Conner and Kameron? Which I think was kinda unnecessary. But hey.

But she came back. She wanted to apologise because she'd had time to really think about everything and knew she'd possibly overreacted. She didn't freak out over Buck having to deliver the baby on his couch, she did what she could to help.

And hey, Buck broke up with her because they just weren't clicking. It just wasn't working.

In Conclusion...

You can dislike these characters. You can dislike the ships. But a lot of the hate comes from Misogyny. None of these women were evil monsters who abused Buck or Eddie. They were human beings who were going through their own stuff. And a lot of the things people hate about them isn't actually even canon. I'm not saying they're perfect and never did anything wrong ever, but come on...

[stwarr]

𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒ ρα𝗂𝗋𝗂𐓣𝗀! ⌗ . . ; ᴍᴜɪᴄʜɪʀᴏ x ɢɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

𓍢ִ໋ 🌷͙֒ 𝗍ω ⌗ . . ; 𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒 ᥣ𝗂𝗍𝗍ᥣ𝖾 α𐓣𝗀𝗌𝗍

🌷͙֒ αᑲⱺυ𝗍 ⌗ . . ; ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴍᴜɪᴄʜɪʀᴏ𝗌 ᴄʟᴏᴛʜᴇs

You are waiting for your boyfriend, Muichiro, who said he'll meet you after his mission is done. And it was, but he wasn't coming.

You eventually start to eat the foods you brought from different stands by yourself since you've got hungry and bored all alone. You hummed.

You didn't understand why he wasn't coming, you've waited for an full hour and a half now. You gazed at the clouds with a gloomy, worried face.

You really cared for him and couldn't handle the fact that he will die at some point, later or sooner. You both knew being a hashira is dangerous but yet here you are.

Growing more and more worried, you came to the conclusion that he probably got injured and can't come. Just as you were about to get up but your boyfriend crow brings a letter.

The crow huffed at you. It didn't like you, well it didn't like anyone except your boyfriend but you didn't mind it at all. You nod at the little companion.

You take the letter from the crow and you already knew from who it was. You open the letter and you started reading the simple handwriting that you recognized.

From Muichiro Tokito.

I'm sorry, dear. I've got very injured in my last mission so I can't come. Shinobu said that I have to stay here for at least two more weeks. You can come visit if you want to! Please stay at my mansion while I'm not!

For my lovely y/n

You couldn't help but feel bad and useless even though it wasn't your fault, actually, you even wanted to go with him but couldn't. You sigh and quickly make your way to the Butterfly mansion.

You reach the Insect pillar mansion and hurry your way to Shinobu. "Hello there, Y/n, perhaps you are here for Muichiro, right? " She greeted you.

You nodded. " Follow me then." She smiled at you. She leads you to a room. " You can go, but don't stay much dear, he needs to rest. " Shinobu warned you while walking away.

You open the door and see him in the simple hospital bed. "Muichiro! Are you okay? I'm sorry... " You said rushing to the bed. He nodded as his eyes started to sparkle like stars.

" Why do you said sorry? It's not your fault. We both knew this will be a dangerous occupation. " He smiled at you softly. You looked down at the floor.

You nodded, as you let out a sigh. " Y/n, I want you to stay at my mansion for the meanwhile, please. " He looks at you. You take your eyes off the floor and look at him, making eye contact.

" Alright, I'm gonna miss you, you know. " You smile back at him, trying to cheer yourself and him up. " I love you. " He said as his eyes sparkle even more at the words.

You knew he means it, that's pure proof. His mint colored eyes never sparkled, well, till you appeared. You changed him and you were proud of yourself.

You go up to him and give him a little peck. " You better return fast!" You said in a playful tone. He chuckled slightly as a response. " I can't help but return to you, no matter what" He said.

You gasped, his words entered your heart at the speed of light. Your cheeks heat up a little too. " Take care! " You said as you turn your back to him and wave.

This boy. You can't help but to think to yourself. You adored him with your whole entire soul. You exit the room, you knew he needs to rest after all.

After a while you reach his mansion. You quietly look at the large house and grinned to yourself. You had the keys, it was in case he forgets them somewhere.

You reach the door and get the keys, you unlock the house and your other hand reach the doorknob. You open the door and open the lights.

You leave your shoes behind. You almost runned towards his room. You didn't knew why you are rushing so much, you just followed your heart.

Your eyes lay on his demon slayer corp's uniform on his bed. Your heart starts beating faster. You smiled to yourself as you felt joy.

You make your way towards the exciting pieces of clothing. You quickly decided to wear it. You undress yourself quickly and get the clothing in your hands.

You smell it, it was washed. Then you bring it to your chest, hugging it. You start to dress yourself, carefully, not trying to cause any harm to the cloths.

The long sleeves were covering your hands and it was the same for the pants except with your feet. It felt comfortable but a bit thick too, for winter. Your eyes can't help but to sparkle brightly.

You hug yourself. A rush of happiness entered deeply inside your heart. You weren't gonna be that lonely in the meanwhile after all.

꒰🌸꒱ ᴀ/ɴ ; ; ɪ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟʟʏ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴘʀᴏᴜᴅ ᴏғ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ sᴍ ʀɴ! ₊ ⊹

[dickarchivist]

Hello!

I am obsessed with your OC Clone squad. Thanks for sharing them with us!

You said you’re taking requests so I’m sliding in with one 👀

I’m taking from the same delicious NSFW prompt list @dystopicjumpsuit used!

The prompt is “Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.” with Ghost. He seems so sweet and deeply caring. With his cybernetic eyes perhaps eye contact is important to him/his partner???

Do with this as you please, no pressure! 💕

Thanks @starrylothcat for the fic request!! I'm so excited to deliver, and for my sweet boy Ghost too 😭

I Will Know You Forever, Even In Darkness

Clone OC Ghost × fem!Reader (civilian mechanic) (new relationship)

Word count: 2860

🔞Minors DNI🔞

Prompt: “Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby.”

Summary: After a scare on a mission, your new sweetheart's in recovery at the hospital. When you're finally allowed in to see him, you make up for lost time.

Contents and Warnings: fluff and smut the ultimate combo, bit of angst at the beginning, PiV sex, mentions of eye trauma (nothing graphic), yearning good lord the yearning this man does for you. Happy ending, pinky promise.

Author Notes: This fic takes place directly after the mission that causes Ghost to lose his eyes and get his prosthetics. No actual eye trauma is described in detail, it's only stated that he lost them from acid splash, and he's given cybernetics as a replacement.

Small cameo of others in Grave Squad, the jedi of the 404th, and even smaller cameo/mention of two other sw OCs I've made over the years.

Sorry this one's so long, but also not sorry at all because I think it's really good.

When The Crypt lands in the hanger, you're absolutely thrilled. Ghost and his brothers were home at last. You set down your tools and twll your assistant you'd be back in a second, to which they roll their eyes with a smile, "Boyfriend's back huh?"

"Shush," you giggle, and start toward the ship with glee. But the closer you gwt, the more your smile fades

Wraith is out first, Specter and Banshee carrying a stretcher after him, "Careful! He's fragile, don't jostle him, I just got his vitals stable again!"

Guilt bubbles in your stomach as you hope and hope that the clone on the stretch was Phantom. You wouldn't wish for any of them to be hurt, but please. Please, anyone but--

"Ghost's gonna be fine," Phantom stretcha as he gets out of the ship, play wrestling with Wraith in a bad attempt to lighten the worried media's mood, "You saved his face, I'm sure he'll thank you for that when he wakes up."

"If he wakes up, Tommy!" Wraith spits at his brother, poking his finger hard into his chest, "Like I said, he's fragile, we can't be too cautious! I don't know the extent, he could die for all-"

"Wraith." Specter's voice cuts like a knife. He had noticed you when you'd arrived, and knew all the talk wasn't helping your anxiety.

"He's... he's not going to die, right?" There's a tremble in your voice, your hands are gripping the front of your jump suit so tight its almost hard to breathe, "He can't, he's- please..."

Phantom pushes his brothers along, the stretcher jostling just enough that Ghost's arm falls limp from it, and the cry that comes from you is mournful enough to make the hanger fall silent.

Wraith tries to comfort you, but his anxious yammering only proves to make things worse. Phantom catches your shoulders, then pulls you into a hug, "Hey, hey Mesh'la, it's fine. It's fine, Cap's been in worse spots than this. His name is Ghost, not Dead Guy, right? Afterlife can't get him, he's stuck here with us. Take a breath, okay, it'll be fine. He'll be fine."

His brothers keep you up to date while you aren't allowed in to see Ghost. He's lost both his eyes. They tell you he was heroic, only thinking about the lives of the people he was protecting during the battle. Wraith later confides in you that he believes it was his fault, that if he hadn't forgotten his helmet, Ghost wouldn't have given him his. Ghost's eyes wouldn't have been lost. You want to be angry, but you know them too well at this point.

"Rai, you didn't take his helmet off him. You didn't throw the acid. You didn't do anything malicious... Specter said you kept him alive, it was your quick actions that saved him. Stop calling yourself Ghost's attacker, he'd hate to hear that..."

Wraith nods, but doesn't say anything else, just goes back to Ghost's hospital room to do his best in helping his brother. You get the feeling that Wraith isn't going to belive it's not his fault until Ghost tells him that himself.

On the fifth day, you hear a voice you don't recognize.

"I don't care, no one is going to replace Captain Ghost." There's a few garbled words, then the voice came back, more forceful, "Ghost, not CT-1313." There's another pause before you hear a snarl, "HIS NAME IS GHOST!"

There's hushed murmers, then the voice speaks again, "Good, now that we're clear that this is a man and not a number: you'll give him new eyes. Yes, I do mean that. I do not care what it costs you, he's an irreplaceable asset to the 404th, and I will not have him decommissioned when the best course of action is to replace what he's lost."

You don't realize how close you've gotten to the door until it a little girl grabs your hand, "It's not polite to easedrop... it's fun to do though."

You'd seen her once before, Ghost called her "Vod'ika", and you aren't sure if that's her name or not. She's got her ear pressed to the door, and she giggles, "Oooh, Master Dax is angry, he's using his little voice."

"Master-" when the door opens, a yellow zebrak in jedi robes stands before you. His bright blue eyes catch you, then the little girl behind you.

His glare turns to a funny face immediately. Hands beside his head flaired out, tongue sticking out, eyes crossed. It makes you laugh for the first time in days. "Good!" The zebrak booms, holding your shoulders, "We like happy. Happy means hope, and what's wrong with a little hope right? You must be this "Cyare" Ghostie has been muttering about in his sleep, I know all his brothers, and none of them have that moniker, Athena there is "Cyar'ika", so Cyare must be you!"

You know that word, you heard it often when you were a mandalorian foundling as a child. Beloved. Your face blooms with blush, and you look down at the kid behind you, then back to the man, "uh... y-yeah, I guess so."

"Good, good good good, excellent, good!" He puts his arm around your shoulders, leading you away from the door you'd been camped in front of since Ghost was admitted, "Listen Cyare, Ghost's gonna be fine, Wraith and another clone, I don't know if you know him, Repeat, they'll be preforming Ghost's surgery. Why you ask? Because I don't trust those smug asses with my boys!" His laugh booms again, and you can't help your giggle either, "Now, Re is from my previous Padawan, now a master, so proud. Re is from Annika's battalion, the 418th, let me tell you..."

Master Dax talks your ear off for hours. But it takes your mind off of the situation, and before you know it, Specter is collecting you from the enthusiastic jedi, "Buir, shut it. C'mon, Ghost's up, he wants to see you."

You wave to Dax and Athena, thanking them for spending the day with you. As you walk the now familiar path to Ghost's room, you find that your pace moves quicker the closer you get. Specter chuckles at your side, "Just run, we told the staff to let you in."

"Thanks," you manage before sprinting away. You're running so fast the doors don't part for you at one point and you slam directly into them, eliciting uproarious laughter from a few of the clones lucky enough to see the disaster. It takes a lot of patience to slow down enough for the automatic doors, but eventually you're where you need to be.

Wraith is waiting inside Ghost's room for you. He's fidgeting more than normal, and when he sees you, his speech goes into over drive, "Okay keep in mind I'm not perfect I did my best and he's my brother so of course I did my very very best for him and Repeat was a huge help please don't be mad at-"

"Wraith," Ghost's voice sends your heartbeat further into overdrive, "Shut up before she thinks you killed me." There's humor... stars you're so happy to hear that light chuckle, "C'mere Cyare, I want the first thing I see to be you."

Before you go to his side, you stop at Wraith, kissing his cheek lightly, "Thanks for brining him back to me..."

"Y-yep." As Wraith stumbles out of the room holding his cheek, you cross to Ghost.

Your hand finds his, and immediately his head turns to you with a smile, "There she is, my heart. Rai said the bandages could come off a few hours after surgery. Told him I wanted you to be there for it, hope that's alright."

You don't say anything. You climb into the bed with him, your arms wrapping around him, tangling your legs together as best you can with the blanket over him. Ghost kisses the top of your head as you settle in, rubbing your back, "I'm alright..."

"I know."

"If I'm not handsome anymore, you can always date Phantom, he hits on you enough to where I think he might be serious." He chuckles, but when you don't, he stops. Ghost's hand finds your cheek, and brings you to look at him, even though he can't see you yet, "Hey. I'm not going anywhere, alright? I'm alive, and I want to see you... please Cyare, let me see you."

You move on him, straddling his hips, thankful for his eyes being the only injury this time. You hold his face gently, and he steals a kiss to your palm, making you blush. "Ghost..?"

"Hm?"

"It's not just your looks, you know that, right? It's you. Even if you're still blind, or your face is weird, I'd still want to be with you... Phantom's gross anyway, not made of boyfriend material like you." When he laughs this time, so do you. Hope, you think, a little hope is good.

Careful, so much so you're holding your breath, you begin to take off Ghost's bandages. His eyes are closed underneath, and you cover your mouth for a moment. It's like a mask of scars tissue, still gently pink from the acid. When he flutters his eyes open, white irises meet yours, and you can help but cry. Tears stream down your face, and Ghost looks almost dejected before you croak, "You're okay..."

Ghost lets out a breath of relief, his new eyes focusing on you, "I was hoping to see you smile, but I'll take happy tears too. They are happy, right?"

"Yes!" You burst, bouncing in his lap a little with the laugh, reaching for him again as you go to kiss him.

Ghost gives an appreciative "mmm~" as your lips find his. He puts his hands on your hips, one leaving its post rather quickly and rubbing across the small of your back and side. He's surprised when you deepen the kiss, and you feel his length move under you as your tongue slides over his. He chuckles when you part, and looks up at you with new eyes, "Careful there Cyare, I'm getting excited."

"Is... is that a bad thing?" You bite your bottom lip a little and deliberately roll your hips on him this time, "I... I missed you, and these last few days, I couldn't stop thinking about... a-about how I don't want to be without you."

Ghost throbs against you, but you get the feeling it wasn't because of your movements on him, rather your words. You keep rolling your hips on him, wanting to feel him yourself, "For a moment I thought you were gone, and I realized I didn't get to tell you how I feel-"

"Stop," he holds you still, his hands finding yours, "Don't say it. N-not unless you mean it, got that? Don't say it because you feel like you have to."

You recognize the look of fear in his eyes, of rejection, pain from a love once spurned. You're not each others firsts, but you do know one thing, you want him to be your last firsts. You put your hands on Ghost's and guide them to your heart. It beats fast against his palms, much as his does on yours when you reach out to him. You mirror each other's moves, one hand each going to hold your cheeks. His thumb rubs your cheekbone, eyes locked with yours, "Cyare..."

"Kar'taylir darasuum." The mandalorians who found you, became your family, they had taught you this phrase when you left them. With how Ghost's eyes soften at you, you know he understands them too. You repeat them to him all the same, beginning to rock on him again, "I will know you forever, Ghost."

Ghost repeats them back to you, his hand guiding your face to his for another kiss. It's slow and lingering, when you pull back, he's smiling so warmly, lips gently parted with soft breath, "I will know you forever, even in darkness."

Ghost's eyes roam down between you, and blush finally shows on his face, "Cyare, if we don't do something about these clothes, I might throw a fit."

You're both giggling as you fumble with your clothes. Soft stolen kisses, small gasps of appreciation, little stories of "What's this scar from?" And kissed freckles. When you're standing beside Ghost's hospital bed fully bare to him, he looks at you with so much adoration. His hand reaches for yours, and you're guided back to his lap. He's bigger than you thought, his length hard in your hand. "Wow..."

"I could say the same," Ghost chuckles and puts his hands on your hips, eyes on your slick folds before slowly working up to your eyes again, "Never seen such a beautiful body before."

You bite your lip as you move against him, running his length through your folds to slick him. The groan he makes joins yours as you toy his tip against your clit. Ghost smiles up at you, hands holding your breasts, circling your nipples with his thumbs, "Stars you feel great already... Cyare, mmm~"

Your eyes flutter closed as you take him into your waiting walls, "Ghost..."

“Keep your eyes open, look at me, baby," when he speaks, it's so soft, so breathy and light, you're not sure if you heard it or thought it. You look down at him, and he already looks love drunk. Eyes half lidded, his hands move down to your hips again and pull you further onto him. You moan, bracing on his chest, and he groans with delight, "That's right baby, eyes on me... I want to see you."

"Ghost... kriff, s-so full," your eyes stay on his as you start to move on his lap, taking him fully each time you lower back down. You start slow, easing yourself through the burn of the initial stretch, but soon you're at an even pace. The sticky wet sound of his length moving in and out of you fills the room with your tandem breathing.

His hands hold you tight, hips bucking up into you as you bounce on his length. His eyes flicker between yours, your breasts bouncing, and the way he glides in and out of you with such easy. You whine for him, hands balling in his chest hair, clenching around his length, "Feels so good, Ghost, s-stars." When his fingers slide to your clit, you cry out for him with an arch of your back, "Ghost! Ah!"

"D-dont look away," his other hand holds your face, thumb running over your bottom lip before you take it in your mouth and suck. Ghost's eyes widen a little, his hips stuttering before the pace quickens, "Oh kriff..."

You release his thumb and lock eyes with him again, "I'm close, do-don't stop, don't stop, Ghost, oh-" a whine releases from your lips as he rubs your clit faster, eyelashes flutter but you keep your eyes open, closer and closer to the edge, "Ghost, oh, oh baby, oh Ghost!"

"S-stay with me baby, come on, s-so close, so--" he grunts, his hips snap up into your walls in an intense build of pressure before he sits up off the bed with a cry of your name, spending himself inside you without restraint.

His wild bucks and intense attention to your clit were enough to get you to the edge, but feeling him fill you with his spend, it sends you over into ecstasy. You collect his lips in a kiss as you orgasm, body clenching around his length and shuttering with aftershocks of pleasure. Tears prick the corners of your eyes as you come down, and as Ghost holds you close, kissing your neck and shoulder, you feel so warm and safe.

Small drops of warmth hit your shoulder, and for a moment concern holds your body still. Was he hurt? You pull away to see Ghost's face, and to your surprise, tears are filling his new eyes, falling down his cheeks. You hold his face gently, wiping the tears from his unmarked skin, Careful of the sensitive scarring, "Ghost... what's wrong baby?"

"Nothing," he laughs a soft cry, kissing your lips just once, "I'm... overwhelmed. Spent the last month thinking of this, the last week needing to see you, just one more time, and..." He chuckles, feeling silly, kissing you again, "I can't believe this is real."

Your heart flutters, how is he this sweet? You press a delicate kiss to his forehead as you ease the both of you down. You nestle under his chin, still full of him, not willing to let that feeling end yet, "It's real, I promise."

After a few minutes of silence, Ghost rubbing your back in soothing circles, you're nearly asleep when you hear him again, "Did you mean it...?"

"Hm...?"

"You love me?"

You press a sleepy kiss to his jaw, "I love you, Ghost."

His heart picks up, you can feel it against your own, and it has you smiling. Ghost gives you a little squeeze, going back to rubbing your warm skin, "I love you too, Cyare."

[redskull199987]

Scars

Keigo Takami x gn!reader

Word count:1k

Warnings:mention of violence, burn marks and scars, over all it's fluff

Summary: after Keigos injury, you worry more about him than before...

Masterlist

I watched in horror, how he got hit by the blazing flames. How his wings burnt down to ashes. I felt my body moving on it's own, but I wasn't fast enough. He got hit anyways and Tokoyami and me had to somehow get him away from Dabi, who was still laughing over what he just did to Keigo. In that moment, I wanted to kill him, I wanted him to feel, what I felt, the fear and agony. But I knew, that Keigo's safety was more important right now, so I let him get away.

And as I watched how the parademics took care of him, I realized that I couldn't loose him. That I needed him, that I couldn't live without him. That he was my everything and if he would die, I could never forgive myself.

"Go with him"

I turned around and looked into the eyes of Tokoyami, his student. He smiled slightly, encouraging me to join Keigo on his way to the hospital.

"We'll be fine", he assured me and all I could do was nod and thank him, beacause I surely knew that I couldn't stay here. I would be of no help with my mind comepletely occupied by him. And I knew for sure, that if I saw Dabi again, I wouldn't be able to hold back.

So I stepped into the ambulance, watching as Keigo lay there unconscious, his wings comepletly burnt away and his skin scarred.

I gently took his hand in mine after the parademics were done with the first aid. And I felt a tear run down my face, because I knew that I would never be how it was again. Not between Keigo and me and not between the people and heroes. Those times were over.

"I'm going to meet up with Jeanist and Endeavor now.", Keigo said as he collected all his things that he needed for a trip outside of the safezone of the Yuei.

"I'll pick up All Might after I visited Shota in the hospital with Eri", I explained and grabbed his hand before he could leave.

"Be careful, will you?", I smiled and gently kissed his cheek. I could feel his newly required scar under my lips. The skin still wasn't comepletely healed yet.

"I will, my love", Keigo mumbled and pulled me against his body. 

"You too, I hope", he said and kissed my forehead in return. I chuckled as his hair tickled my face. After his incident it was much shorter now, but still long enough, so that I could play with it when we lay together in bed.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna leave you, my dear", he promised, his eyes now focused on my face. As I looked up to him, I saw how done he looked. Dark circles under his eyes, the smalll cuts and bruises all overhis face, that weren't comepletely healed yet and of course, the huge scar , which ran up his neck, all the way to his chin and cheek. Apart from all the burn marks and scars all over his torso and back. He acted like it didn't hurt him anymore, but I knew how he tossed and turned around at night, while his wings slowly grew back, causing him immense pain. 

"You're thinking about my scars, aren't you babybird?"

I looked up at Keigo as I realized how deep in thought I was.

"I just wish I could help ease your pain in any way", I mumbled and slowly wrapped my arms around his hips, burrying my face in his chest, his fluffy jacket tickling my face.

"You're doing enough by just being with me", Keigo explained, his arms encirceling my torso,"Without you, I couldn't pull any of this of. I couldn't stand up in the morning and go out there everyday."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better", I pouted and looked up, my chin resting on his sternum.

Keigo only chuckled and softly kissed my nose:"I mean it, love. You are my reason to bring this world back to how it was, because I want you to have the life you've always wanted and that you deserve, and I am more than happy to live it together with you."

I felt myself tearing up at his sweet words. And it made me realize again, how much he mattered to me, how much I loved him.

"Thank you, Keigo", I mumbled and hugged him tighter,"I want to live that life with you too"

He only smiled again and gently grasped my chin to pull me in for a short kiss. HIs lips worked against mine with such passion that I just knew that he meant what he said. His kiss left me breathless, his lips so intoxicating that I never wanted  to be without them again.

"As much, as I love hugging and kissing you, my dear I must really go now or I be late. Both of us will", Keigo said after we parted. I followed his eyes to the clock, hanging next to the apartment door and he was right.

"Okay", I mumbled and slowly parted from him, "See you later "

Keigo smiled softly and kissed my cheek once more before leaving the apartment on the way to his car.

"I love you!"; he yelled on his way out. I only chuckled and leaned out of the door:"I love you!"

before making my way to the Yuei to pick up Eri to go see her dad. 

[alphasunpup]

Feedist Kinktober Day 5- Cannibal Campers

TW: Cannibalism, Darker feedism elements

You didn't think your job as a camp counselor would result in you ending up in a horror movie. You didn't think you would end up as a stereotypical final girl. But there you stood in your camp counselor uniform, soiled in the blood of your fellow lost camp counselors. Perhaps if you would get out of this alive you would throw them a party in their honor. And then check yourself into the nearest mental hospital.

The slasher, because of course you ended up in a slasher horror raised his machete at you.

Well if you were gonna die, might as well go out with a bang. "Come and get me bootleg Jason!" You screamed. He lunged at you, you lunged at him with your badminton racket in defense. But instead of some epic cut do or die battle before the two of you, you feel a twinge in your neck, and pass out.

When you wake up, you're tied up to a chair. You're still clothed, but it seems someone took the liberty of washing off the nightmarish blood and viscera from your skin. You don't smell like blood and internal organs but like shea butter and honey.

"You like? I couldn't find your regular body wash amongst your things. So, I bought some at the local CVS." A familiar voice said to you.

It was Jenny, one of your fellow camp counselors! You thought you had lost her to the mad slasher. She looked a different from before. Her brown box braids now had a red tips at the end. She was a lot thicker than last you remembered her... remembered her getting murdered.

She had a thick apron belly, covering the clearly opened flap of her shorts. Her boobs overflowing her small camp counselor shirt. She had thick beautiful dark skinned arms. Her skin the beautiful color of a sycamore tree. You felt suddenly hot. Like you need to feel her plushness, feel her pudgy hands sink into your pubis mon and touch you like when you first started exploring each other's bodies.

"Jenny?" You whispered. Unsure if this was a fever dream and if the killer had done away with already chopping your body up for pie.

She walked over and stroked your cheek. Her now apple round cheeks, accentuating her kind smile. "Yeah, it's really me."

"But how?! I saw you.. I saw you..." you froze at the memory. Of the killer with the mask, dragging her back into the kitchen. The sound of the meat grinder. The spray...

"Hey!" She yells. "I'm right here," she whispers lovingly into your ear, "right here."

You tear up and nod. "Right, right. Okay, untie me. We can probably find someone's car or maybe someone fucking listened to us and packed a battery pack and we..." she shushed you.

"Let's eat first," she smiled.

You were taken back. How could she think about food at a moment like this? The killer was still out there!

"Don't worry about the killer, I took all care of it." Your mind began to relax. Of course, of course Jenny took care of it. She was Jenny after all.

"Shepards pie?"

She ask, seamlessly pulling out the pie. It sounded like a question but you hadn't noticed she wasn't acting. A forkful entered your mouth, taking you back a bit, but you chewed obediently. She raked her acrylic nails through your now cleaned 3C hair.

"Good, isn't it?"

You nodded, not paying attention to the redness of the meat. Or how soft and tender it was. You were too wrapped up in Jenny's claws raking through your scalp. The taste of rosemary, onion, basil, garlic, and other delicious spices on your tongue. You weren't even paying attention to the swelling of your belly. All you knew is that you wanted more. More of Jenny's touch, more of the pie, but most importantly more of the meat. Her nails scratch at your portruding belly. You wince slightly.

"UUUUURP," you softly pant as the burp leaves you.

She grins. "I think you're ready for more." She drops the pie tin onto the floor. "Baby! She's ready for the real deal!" She calls.

Real deal? And suddenly the slashed killer appears. But it doesn't rush back towards you, you really couldn't care less. Not unless Jenny cared.

The killer took off their mask. It was another one of your camp counselors, Rochelle! Her entire head was shaved, her gold septum in tact. But now she had an eye brow scar/slit. She walked over to Jenny, kissing her deeply. Jealousy twinged in your gut. You wanted Jenny to look at you like that. Jenny patted Rochelle's gut and giggled.

"Oh, don't worry darling you'll be up to snuff, soon as you have some camp counselor pie!" She giggled. She snapped her fingers and Rochelle went towards the back of the cabin, holding different trays of raw meat with different bloodied name tag of your fellow camp counselors.

Rochelle stood there cockily, her gut forcing open her slasher jumpsuit.

"Trust me, you're gonna love Derrick." She burps to her hand, handing you a tray of indiscriminate raw meat with his bloodied name tag as his only identifier. "He's quite filling."